#as humans we're meant to live in a community

[comicaurora]

Do you think ethics are just an attempt at being a healthier form of selfish?

In one of your Detail Diatribes where Batman confronts Catwoman and tries to stop her from killing Falcone, you highlighted the fact that his reasoning was not to protect her father, but to try and save her. Ever since, some very strange ideas about the nature of selfishness and selflessness have been rattling around my head.

It only started coming into focus when I tried to put into words why it was a bad thing that D-16 killed Sentinel Prime. My best answer right now is because it made D-16 into Megatron. Orion wasn't trying to save Sentinel, he was trying to protect the cybertronian people. Maybe if Orion focused more on saving D-16, they wouldn't have lost their friendship and all of Cybertron would be better for it. Of course, in the end, Megatron was the deciding factor in making himself, caring more about his pride than his current identity, but this highlights a strange selfish quirk in sustainable selfless behavior.

If you are purely selfless you suffer from spending more of yourself than you have to give. If you're too selfish you can't maintain the human connections that are a requirement for being a complete and healthy person. It leaves the best options as being selfless to make your environment an easier one for you to live in. Where your actions for others are repaid by the selflessness from your community. Or, being selfish with your charity. Taking care of what you care about because their well being positively contributes to your own.

To be fair, the opening sentence now looks like an incomplete thought. It probably should be asking if you think ethics is just an attempt at being a more healthy form of selfish and selfless. Really, just asking if ethics is meant to make you better at being a person, which seems like a question that can answer itself. Still, it feels like an important insight to highlight that to be ethical isn’t about how much of your own life you're willing to sacrifice. It's hard to be a good person when you're not a person anymore.

This is a fascinatingly deep question, and I'm very tickled that our two touchpoints in it are a transforming robot tank and Batman.

My personal opinion is that ethics and morals are not reflections of some universal truth of Justice and Goodness, as they are often framed, but are instead best-practice guidelines on how to function in the big, messy world without causing undue suffering to yourself and others. A facet of this is determining, case by case, how much you need to prioritize yourself vs how much you can afford to help others - in the framing you've proposed, selfishness vs selflessness.

Taking the specific examples we're focusing on - two cases where someone attempts to prevent a revenge killing for the benefit, not of the victim, but of the avenger - I think they reflect this worldview, that the killing is not seen as some innately universally-judged evil act that must be prevented for its own sake, but that the act of killing will harm the killer in a way the person trying to stop them doesn't want to see.

For Catwoman, committing premeditated murder wouldn't solve any of her problems in any way that arresting Falcone and having him legally unraveled would. It'd just park a first degree murder charge on someone who'd up til this point only dealt with petty larceny, and it would potentially weigh her down with misery and regret as she grappled with the trauma of taking a life.

For Megatron, killing Sentinel Prime wasn't a bad action because he deserved to live. They just spent that whole fight scene tearing through enemies. They're warriors on track to spend the next four million years killing each other; the whole "taking a life" ship has already sailed. The problem is that Sentinel is a symbol and a structural part of the political narrative in the founding of the next stage of Cybertron's society. If the first thing the new regime does is bloodily avenge itself on the face of the old regime for the personal wrongs it did them, that proves that the only thing they care about is personal satisfaction of their individual desires - just like Sentinel. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. If they can instead take a step back, think of the good of Cybertron as a whole, enforce a rule of law and a fair system of justice that applies equally to everyone, even on someone they personally loathe, that would signify integrity and credibility and the hallmark of wise, just and fair leadership capable of setting aside personal feelings for the greater good. It's not about Sentinel; it's about whether the satisfaction of killing him is worth the price of enforcing forever that personal vendettas are more important than the well-being of the people of Cybertron. Which makes it really obvious which one Megatron is going to pick.

My hottest take, and I mean this very genuinely, is that most of the human perception of what constitutes goodness and justice is one thousand percent based on vibes, and is extremely susceptible to narrative reframing. We see an unsympathetic victim (Sentinel Prime, Falcone) who has gleefully caused suffering to innocent people (so judged because they are framed sympathetically, not because we've actually enumerated their lifelong actions to determine they've never done anything wrong) and we feel (feel) that it would be right and just for them to suffer consequences (emphasis on suffer) because that would balance the scales on this vibes equation and that would make us feel like justice had been served. Would this suffering lead to any material good? Not inherently. Would it heal the victims? Not usually. Would it remove the source of the problem? Categorically not, what with how negative reinforcement works (or rather does not work.) It also wouldn't do anything about the other people empowered by the same system to be just as shitty in just as many ways that just happen to be offscreen from our POV. But it feels fair. So what is justice, if it reduces down to "I want them to hurt for the hurt they've caused me"? If it can be sated with a spectacle or distracted by a long nap and a good joke to let the feeling fade? What purpose does this justice serve if it is devoted wholly to the satiation of a bone-deep chordate-brain hunger for Retributive Violence rather than towards actually ensuring that the lives of those harmed are healed and supported and built up again after being broken down? (This is the entire core character arc in The Batman, btw, I'm not just monologuing for no reason here. He calls himself Vengeance for a reason, and the reason is he's doing Batman wrong)

That feeling - that white-hot burning core of Righteous Fury - is the unexamined heart of many systems of morality that focus, not on doing good, but on exacting satisfying retribution on Bad People Who Deserve It, categorized as People Who I Can Hurt Without Feeling Bad Myself. It's a very tempting concept for people who have suffered at others' hands. That feeling, that powerful instinctual understanding of "that's unfair," is incredibly strong. In my opinion, most systems of ethics are built, not around relitigating what is Good and what is Bad per se, but in trying to shape and curb that bone-deep, unbelievably powerful desire to rend the flesh from the bones of your tormenters.

But I mentioned that feeling is susceptible to narrative reframing. This is, as I understand it, a huge part of lawyering. Tell the story of what happened using true events and adding no falsehoods, but highlight the parts that make it feel like your client is the one who is being treated unfairly. They're not an unsympathetic wrongdoer who you can punish without personal moral stain - they're a loving spouse, a parent of three adorable children, they have a really cute puppy, they donate to charity, they're a wonderful conversationalist, a kind friend, etc etc. All those things can also be true of people who do terrible things, but thinking about them defuses that White Hot Core by making us sympathize with the sympathetic parts of them.

This is incredibly well-understood in fiction. It's the whole reason the tropes Kick The Dog and Pet The Dog exist. When you want the audience to root for a character's destruction, leave aside any of their potential quiet moments of sympathy - their tragic backstory, their cute pet, their adorable relationship with their mom - and instead show them going out of their way to commit some minor act of petty cruelty, say Kicking The Dog. The audience will infer that this badness is 24/7 and they have no reason to curb their enthusiasm for Righteous Vengeance. But if the writer wants the audience to see a spark of good in them, to sympathize, to believe they can be redeemed, they'll highlight one of those small moments of charming kindness, and allow them to Pet The Dog instead.

Neither of these acts, in the grand scale, have any bearing on the morality of this person's actions. A pet dog doesn't counterbalance a razed village; a kicked dog doesn't negate a generous contribution to the local soup kitchen. Goodness and badness is not a linear scale added or subtracted to by opposing deeds. BUT showing them to an audience reframes them narratively, and THAT is what shapes the judgment of the White Hot Burning Core. In the space of fiction, this form of bottom-shelf emotional manipulation is one of the cleanest ways to get the audience to root for the messy destruction of what is ostensibly, in the universe of the fiction, a wholly complex and living person who definitely has reasons for everything they've done, even ones that could be framed sympathetically when shown.

Meanwhile, in the real world, ethics are an attempt to judge what is best in a given situation without trusting the White Hot Burning Core to make the call, no matter how compelling "but it would feel really good though" might seem. They try to give someone perspective, context, other priorities to consider. The White Hot Burning Core might want you to rip someone's arms off for driving slow when you've got important places to be, but Ethics can present a number of compelling reasons not to do that - even if it's just "ripping their arms off will definitely make me even more late." And yes, this can be a balance of Selfishness Vs Selflessness. You are one of the people whose wellbeing ethics is designed to make you prioritize improving even if it feels weird, and when all other things are equal, your own health and happiness can be the deciding factor. In a world with an overarching Moral Force that weighs the goodness of your soul by sifting through every grain of action and intent seeking negativity to punish you for, absolute selflessness to the point of self destruction would still probably be seen as Morally Wrong, simply because the universe is a better place with you in it trying your best.

Anyway, if doing the right thing was simple, easy and painless, we probably wouldn't have so many thousands of years of arguing about what it looks like. Good luck out there everybody 👍

[vigilante-3073]

Would you agree to write being on House’s team, they’re in a relationship (not secretive but not public. Maybe Cuddy and Wilson know?) anyway, reader is sick on and off and house constantly bugs her and makes fun of her, telling her she’s weak or to go home before she infects everyone and after a few days of that reader snaps and yells at him that she’s not sick she’s pregnant. Maybe house replies “mine I hope” or something like that that makes reader even more pissed at him

Sorry for the long ramble

Petri Dish

Gregory House x Doctor Female Reader

Summary: Doctor Y/N L/N was a valued member of Doctor House's team. Only problem, she was constantly sick with an illness of her own.

TW: Illness/sickness, treatments, boss/employee relationship, inter-office relationships, age gap, rude comments, vomiting, mention of needles and sex.

Y/N and House had been seeing each other romantically for almost a year. They hadn't intended to keep it a secret, but Y/N struggled with the idea of people finding out and casting judgement. There was almost a thirteen year age difference between them and the obvious boss/employee relationship would only make things more complicated.

Cuddy and Wilson were aware, but the couple chose to keep things discreet when they were working.

Y/N was a Rheumatologist with a subspecialty in Infectious Disease, she dealt with autoimmune diseases and diseases of the joints, muscle, tendons, ligaments and skeleton. House considered her to be a valuable member of his team, but her immune system had never been very reliable.

Y/N was always sick.

She caught absolutely every illness in the book. Infections, colds, tonsillitis, flus, pneumonia, and bronchitis were only some of the illnesses that she dealt with.

It seemed like she recovered from one illness and rolled right into the next. House thought that Y/N was like the human equivalent of the clear gel in the bottom of a petri dish, growing every bacteria that touched her into a monstrous illness.

She tried her best to work through her sickness and most of the time she could, but every illness seemed to hit her harder than it hit others.

Y/N was self conscious of her susceptibility to illness, she felt like it made her job difficult and she hated letting House down.

House lived to tease her about it, but he never judged her for it. He knew that their hours often meant that his staff burned the candle at both ends.

House slowly began to cut back on Y/N's hours, allowing her to get home for at least three hours of sleep a night. He deemed it a matter of public safety, when she didn't sleep, she got sick. The team seemed to buy it, but he could tell that there was underlying suspicion.

House knew that their suspicions would continue unless he focused on the issue. His solution was to begin calling his sweet girlfriend 'petri dish.'

Y/N absolutely hated the nickname, but kept quiet because there was no way to tell him to stop without drawing attention to their relationship.

House made his way down the hallway, stepping into his conference room and shrugging off his jacket. Cameron, Foreman and Chase sat at the table as they looked through the patient files.

"Where's Y/N?" House asked.

"She's out sick," Foreman answered, eyes focused on the paperwork in front of him.

"How sick? Spilling her guts or coughing up a lung?" House asked.

"I didn't ask," Foreman stated.

House moved over to the desk, picking up the handset and dialing Y/N's number.

"House, don't call her. She's sick, leave it alone," Cameron said.

He held up a finger, waiting as the line rang before Y/N picked up the phone.

"Where are you?" House asked.

"At home... I'm sick," Y/N replied, her voice was hoarse and virtually nonexistent. He planned on going to check on her after work, but he needed to focus on his case.

"Fine. Rest up, petri dish. Don't need you infecting the community," House said, hanging up the phone.

"That was rude," Cameron said.

"No, what's rude is what we're about to do," House said, grabbing his coat and putting it back on.

...

Y/N was sitting on the couch in her pyjamas as she watched television. A small trash can full of used tissues was placed on the floor beside her, a half-empty tissue box and a bag of lozenges sat on the coffee table beside her.

Y/N looked over as someone knocked on the door, she stood up and tossed her blanket aside. She shuffled across the living room before unlocking the door and opening it.

"No... Why?" Y/N mumbled.

House, Cameron, Chase and Foreman were standing in the hallway outside her apartment. House passed his cane to Cameron, he placed one of his hands on the back of Y/N's neck while pressing his other palm to her forehead.

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked, he pulled away.

"You have a fever," He said, hands cupping her jaw as he palpated her lymph nodes.

"And swollen lymph nodes," House added. He grabbed his cane from Cameron, stepping around Y/N and moving into her apartment.

Chase, Foreman and Cameron lingered awkwardly on her doorstep. Y/N sighed and stepped out of the way, allowing them to enter her apartment.

"Put the board over there," House said, gesturing with his cane.

Chase carried the white board into her apartment and set it up in front of her television. Chase tossed the marker to House before sitting down in the armchair. Foreman leaned on the wall, crossing his arms as he watched House write out the list of symptoms.

"I got you a tea... I'm really sorry that we're barging in on you like this," Cameron said.

"Oh, she's fine. Just a mean case of the sniffles," House said.

Cameron shot him a look, "She's sick," She stated. Cameron sat down beside Y/N, setting her purse on the ground by her feet.

"She's always sick," House replied.

Cameron opened her mouth to argue before Y/N cut her off, "Thanks, Cameron," Y/N said, taking the warm beverage from her friend. Y/N sat down on the couch, dragging her blanket across her lap as she took a sip of her drink.

"Tell me what I'm looking at," Y/N said.

They went through the differential with Y/N's contributions and settled on three possibilities. Y/N was exhausted by the end of it, leaning back against the couch as she struggled to stay awake.

"Take the car and go do your tests. I'll take a cab back," House said, tossing his keys to Foreman.

"You sure?" Foreman asked.

House shrugged, "Just don't sell it to one of your homies," He said.

Foreman shot him a look before tucking the keys into his pocket, "See you at work, Y/N," He said.

"See you then," Y/N nodded, Foreman made his way out into the hallway.

Chase folded up the board, carrying it out of the apartment with a polite nod to Y/N.

Cameron stood up, "Feel better," She said.

"Will do," Y/N replied.

The door closed as Cameron stepped out, leaving House and Y/N alone in her apartment. House reached out and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, checking her temperature again.

Y/N hummed, eyes drifting shut at the cool temperature of his skin. He stepped away from her wordlessly, moving down the hallway and into her bathroom.

House returned, gently nudging Y/N as he sat down beside her. She lifted her head, looking up to find him holding out a few pills and a glass of water.

"Tylenol for the fever. Drink all the water," He said.

Y/N took the pills from his hand, placing them in her mouth and swallowing them with a sip of water. She held the glass in her hands, thumbs brushing across the condensation on the cup.

"I don't like that nickname," She admitted.

"What? Petri dish? It's a cute little pet name," He said.

"I don't like it," Y/N said.

He nodded, "I'll stop using it," House said.

"Thank you," She replied, taking another sip of her water.

"I'll make you some lunch, then you can sleep, alright?" He questioned, Y/N nodded.

House made her some soup, getting her settled in her bed with another glass of water before he returned to the hospital. If the team had any questions about why he had stayed behind, they didn't ask.

...

Y/N read through the patient file, eyes flitting over the information as she thought of possible causes. House wrote the symptoms on the board before turning to the group of doctors gathered around the table.

The differential started and ideas were thrown around quickly, added to or eliminated before they formed a plan of action.

Y/N suddenly raised a hand to her mouth as bile rose up in her throat. She stood from her chair quickly, covering her mouth with her hand as she rushed across the room.

Y/N fell to her knees in front of the trash can, barely managing to pull her hair out of her face before she got sick.

"Guessing that we're not a fan of that idea," House said.

Cameron stood up, moving over to the sink quickly and filling up a glass of cold water. She grabbed a napkin from the dispenser before moving over to her friend.

"Here," Cameron said softly, passing her the cup as she stepped behind her and pulled her hair back. Cameron clipped her hair up in a simple twist, hand settling on her back.

"Are you okay? Is there anything else I can get you?" Cameron asked, Y/N shook her head.

"I'm fine," She muttered.

House turned to Foreman and Chase, "Secondary differential. Nausea, vomiting and increased irritability," House listed.

"Spending any amount of time with you," Cameron said, anger clearly evident in her tone.

"Ouch, any other ideas?" House asked.

"Pregnancy," Chase offered softly.

"It's mine, right?" House asked, Y/N shot him an enraged look.

"Wait, did you two sleep together?" Foreman questioned.

Y/N looked down with a huff, avoiding eye contact with her coworkers.

"My god, it's true, isn't it?" Chase asked.

"Seriously? He calls you 'petri dish'," Cameron said.

"It's a pet name," House replied with a shrug.

"A pet name that I hate," Y/N muttered, the nauseous feeling returning with full force. She set the glass down on the floor as she gagged, vomiting into the trash can again.

"Wait, are you actually pregnant?" Chase asked.

Y/N sniffled, wiping her mouth before picking up the glass again. She rinsed the acidic taste from her mouth, spitting a small amount of water into the trash can.

"I don't know," Y/N mumbled.

"Any other guesses?" House asked.

"The flu," Chase offered.

"We're not helping you with this. Take care of your girlfriend while we take care of the patient," Foreman said, standing from his chair and making his way out of the room.

"I can stay if you want me to," Cameron offered.

"I'll be okay," Y/N said.

Cameron stood up, walking out of the conference room with Chase following closely behind her.

House grabbed a chair from the table, setting it down in front of Y/N and sitting down. She shifted to sit with her back leaned against the desk, her legs stretched out across the floor in front of her.

Y/N sniffled again, wiping the tears from her cheeks before settling her hands in her lap, "I asked you not to tell them," Y/N stated.

"They were bound to find out eventually," House shrugged. He reached into his blazer, pulling out a pack of gum and offering a stick to her.

"Thanks," Y/N mumbled, unwrapping the stick. She put the gum into her mouth and began chewing it, "I can't believe you told my coworkers that we're sleeping together," Y/N muttered, tossing the gum wrapper into the trash can.

"Chase and Cameron are sleeping together. This is a safe space for inter-office boning," House said.

"They're sleeping together?" Y/N asked.

"Yeah, I caught them in the janitors closet last week. Thought I should stake my claim before Foreman got any funny ideas," House said.

"I seriously doubt that there are many men lining up to date me, especially with a nickname like 'petri dish'," Y/N smiled, crossing her ankles.

House watched her for a moment, "Do you think that you're pregnant?" House asked.

Y/N shrugged, "I don't know. Haven't really thought about it," She said.

House stood up, making his way out into the hallway. He stepped over to one of the med carts, unlocking it before pulling out a vial of anti-nausea medication, a syringe and a wipe.

He drew up the medication, switching out the needle before returning to the conference room. House sat down in the chair in front of her, setting the syringe on the edge of the desk.

"Give me your arm," He said, tearing open the wipe.

Y/N shrugged off her lab coat, lifting her sleeve and allowing him to clean her skin before injecting her with the medication.

She grimaced, "Sorry," He muttered, wiping the spot and discarding the needle.

"I'll drive you home," House offered, standing up and holding out his hand to her.

Y/N took his hand, standing up from the floor and brushing the dirt from her clothes. House took her coat off the hook, holding it up for her. Y/N slipped her arms into the sleeves, allowing him to lift it up onto her shoulders.

House put his own coat on before he walked her out to his car and drove her home, escorting her up to her apartment.

Y/N slipped into the bathroom for a shower while House watched a tv show in her bed. Y/N emerged from the bathroom, clothed in a pair of pyjamas with damp hair.

"House," She called softly, he looked over at her.

Y/N made her way over to the bed, sitting on the edge beside him as she held out the plastic stick. He looked down at it, sitting up when he realized that she was holding a positive pregnancy test.

"You said you hadn't thought about it," House said.

"I lied," Y/N said with a soft smile.

"At least I don't have to worry about you being contagious," House said, cupping her cheek and pressing his lips to her's.

[itgetsbetter]

On Trans Day of Remembrance, we honor the memory of those lost to anti-trans violence. We also asked our It Gets Better community what trans youth should remember, right here and right now. Here's what they said:

🏳️‍⚧️ "For my trans daughters and for every other trans person out there, You are perfect, perfectly perfect right now, in this messy moment, in this happy moment, in whatever moment comes next. You are loved by people you haven't even met yet. Do not get caught up in the hurt when there is so much joy to be found, do not let the noise hold you back, you are meant for greatness. For some greatness means waking up and having breakfast, going for a walk, doodling or thinking happy thoughts and that all in itself is great. Please believe me you are not alone." -lisasevajian

🏳️‍⚧️ "70 million people voted to protect your rights. You are valued. You are loved. Do not give up." -thethestralsociety

🏳️‍⚧️ "We have always been here, and we're not going anywhere anytime soon." -beansonofficial

🏳️‍⚧️ "You're seen. You're human. You are loved. You are not alone. Do not give up hope. You deserve all the best things in life and you should get to live them without fear, hate, guilt, harm, or silence." - destiny_d_melton

🏳️‍⚧️ "You are not alone even when it might feel that way. Things are hard and it can be so scary. But know that there are people who truly care who are fighting for you." -heatherand2girls

🏳️‍⚧️ "It gets better. Don’t give up. Gather the people you trust and support each other. You are a gift, you have a gift. Shine your light proudly and brightly. But know that you don’t need to. You are not responsible to change others perceptions or beliefs. You are loved, needed, and necessary." -michaeljohncreative

🏳️‍⚧️ "I love you so much and I will never cast you aside. You are NOT expendable." -fitnessvalkyrie

🏳️‍⚧️ "There is community out there for you always. Don't ever give up, we are here fighting with you." -transaffirmidaho

🏳️‍⚧️ "You only legally have to live with your bio family until you are 18, and then you can go make your own family. Also, high school only lasts 4 years. You can get through it!! It will be okay." -lisathecatdude

🏳️‍⚧️ "Keep going! As trans youth, we need to grow to be elders and to keep sharing our stories and to keep going!" -archer.39

🏳️‍⚧️ "Even in red states, you can find support and allies. We do care. Also, if you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to focus on the community you feel safe with and take a mental break from advocating." - katseye325

🏳️‍⚧️ "We need you alive! You are our future. I made it to 29. You can be 29. My therapist is almost 60. You can be 60. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are our rights! You are seen, valued, heard, and loved." -Mr. Trans Indiana

🏳️‍⚧️ "Half this country still voted to support your rights! There are some loud voices spreading hate, but there’s so much more love out there. You have so much worth and value just being who you are. We’ll get through this and things will get better." -lady_hades_xiii

🏳️‍⚧️ "It will be worth it. All your struggle, all your pain. You’re going to get through this. It’s gonna be okay." -madd.0xx_

🏳️‍⚧️ "You are already role models to your peers, and to all the trans youth that come after you. You are the generation that will change the world, you already are the change the world needs…and your trans-aunty will always be here to support you, as my trans role models did for me. We are a family; dynamic, diverse, and inclusive: welcome to the family." -mxashleys

Read more and add your own here.

[river-selkie]

It took me 7 years to figure out my theriotype. Here's what I learned.

Hi everyone,

I've been in and out of the community for a few years now and during that time, I've had to do a lot of introspection and stablizing. I'm an adult now at 23 and have been questioning my alterhuman identity since I was around 15 years old, but knew I was "other" since I was very small. Here are some little points of wisdom I'd like to give to people who are new, confused, have been questioning for a while, or whatever else they might be feeling or experiencing.

1. Identity is often impermanent. You will change a lot, especially if you are a kid or teenager. This is to be expected. Don't be surprised if you're often confused or unsure about yourself. Even as an adult, I still question my label and I expect that from myself. I just question it less so than before and feel more firm in how I see myself. Let yourself try a million labels and test the waters a thousand times if it's going to help you feel sure of yourself. Gender, hobbies, therianthropy, all of it is allowed to be tested, dropped, changed as needed. Just be wise about it and meaningful. It can take years before you even begin to settle down at all in some cases. You may even consider things you wouldn't have considered before with experience, i.e. going to places you've never been able to go before. And please, don't be afraid of questioning the "common" theriotypes! We're a minority of individuals in the world as it is, you can identify as a wolf, cat, or dog if you feel it best suits you at the time!

2. Being an adult will change your experience. You will probably go from being very animalistic to being less so. It will be in the background of your life, but you will still experience it. It will just be different now. It may even seemingly fade away all together for a time (human life is stressful after all), but it is common for things to ebb and flow. Don't expect to experience every possible feeling, shift, or even high intensity animality 24/7 like you may have as a young kid or young teen.

3. Your therianthropy might go away with time or you might realize that the term doesn't suit you anymore. That's okay. You weren't an impostor or a fake, your experience was still genuine. Let yourself be honest with yourself. You also cannot fake something you are not actively faking. You would know if you're faking what you're feeling because it would be intentional, and it could also come back. Regardless of the outcome, don't fret on what might or will happen, focus on the present and now. How you feel in the now is more important than the future sometimes.

4. Social media is not the end game of therianthropy. Living your therianthropy is. Not everyone will approve of you, and the amount of followers and comments you have don't dictate your validity. Don't fall into the trap of being a certain way to please others. You are meant to explore yourself, not put on a facade to entertain everyone else. Don't scramble for a label just so you have a "role" in this community, and you don't need to post every single thing if you don't want to. You have a role in this community even if you're looking at the whole spectrum of animals and honestly, I love following people who question things anyways. Anyone who considers you a fraud for it or puts you down isn't worth your time or energy. A label of any kind isn't worth crying over or feeling like your value or opinion is dependent on it, especially online.

5. Not everyone has your best intentions at heart. This is self explanatory. Be careful about who you tell about your therianthropy, and especially be careful about people taking advantage of your therianthropy to hurt you. This is especially true online where anyone can lie about their real intentions.

6. How you see yourself comes above all else. You are human too, at least biologically. Not everything you experience will be a theriotype thing, and your experience doesn't need to be perfect. When I was growing up, research down to the fine details meant everything. Now, I identify as what feels right and makes me feel complete. I am not perfect in what I identify as, and I never will be. I am an animal having a human experience. It is to be expected that I will experience lots of things, including empathy, odd cravings, and weird reactions. Focus on what soothes you, what you expect when you look in the mirror, and the overarching way you feel in life. Look at your shifts, look at how you feel in various situations, etc. Research helps, but in the end, it's your label(s). You could even not be a therian at all, you could be a spirit of some kind or a fantasy creature etc. Keep your horizons wide and your doors open.

7. Psychological and spiritual therianthropy are both equally valid. One is not more "real" as an experience than the other since it's a belief and an experience as a whole. Your therianthropy could be caused by a mental illness or be related to neurodivergence, but that's fine. You're still a therian, whether you believe it's because your soul is an animal or because your mind is one or both. Even if your therianthropy disappears one day, the experience is still valuable and is real to yourself (which is who it matters to the most).

8. Therianthropy is a spectrum. Some people are deeply animal and never waiver, never lose their traits, and are perpetually the "perfect example" of their theriotype (note: social media makes them seem this way!!). Others feel it very lightly and may have no shifts at all and experience their therianthropy in a more gentle, symbolic way. Both of those and everything in between is real.

9. Being otherhearted is just as valid as being a therian, and can still be just as important. Identifying WITH something can easily be as impactful as identifying as something, and can have important meaning that's worth being appreciated. I've been rodentkith my entire life because of the wild mice that I watched growing up, and those have a deep, explainable history to me. I talk about it just as much, and it impacted my life drastically even if I don't currently identify AS a mouse. It's okay to even just be otherhearted and nothing else.

10. My final point: just be genuine about it. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Be safe. Remember to live your experience offline too, and remember that everything you see online is idyllic and romantic. You are going on your journey in the way that is meant for you, and no one else can tell you who or what you are. You can trust yourself, and even if you're "wrong", you weren't wrong for considering something. Walk on your path, and expect that stumbling now and then is just part of the hike. You've got this.

[Reposted from my Reddit if this seems familiar to some critters!]

[lullabyes22-blog]

Arcane Fandom drinking game.

tw: racism, misogyny, classism, ableism.

tw: fandoms in general, ig?

Take a shot if:

Sevika is reduced to this exoticised, hypersexualized, sub human caricature with no exploration into her motivations, her family, her issues as a disabled woman or her experiences as a working class person who grew up in a literal slum - and instead serves as a sex toy with body heat, who exists solely to get the reader off.

Take two shots of she is neutered instead of oversexualized, and reduced to the Mammy stereotype wherein her only purpose is to roll her eyes and provide commentary on the (white) characters/readers' antics, the latter of which drive the plot.

Take a shot if:

Mel Medarda is reduced to a living example of the Jezebel stereotype: oversexualized in the most dehumanizing and demeaning language possible, made a literal receptacle for other characters' desires with no attempt to engage with her motivations as a politician or her feelings as a woman, or else blamed for every single problem in the show, because apparently an ambitious woman is synonymous with 'The face of pure evil,' a woman who has sex and uses it to express agency is an insatiable slut, and a black woman is literally the devil incarnate.

Take two shots if she's taken the other extreme, and her ambitions, flaws, and sexuality have been wiped away completely, leaving only a hyperperfect husk of a character behind, for us to rally around with empty cries of 'Yaas Queen!' and no attempt to critically examine a) the problematic nature of the praise and b) the essence of what makes her human, and what drives her forward, in the first place.

Take a shot if:

Ekko is reduced to his crush on Powder/Jinx, with no attempt to engage with the complexity of the fact that his best friend warped into a monster, nor the ways in which he himself is a product of Zaun's poverty and his relationship with his community, the impact of trauma on children, his complex relationship with violence and his own moral compass, nor the fact that he is an activist, a freedom fighter, an artist, and an engineer, all at age eighteen.

Take a double shot if the characterization veers the other way, and he is portrayed as 'Forever Alone' because black men cannot have healthy relationships, do not deserve to have a full range of complex emotions, and should be punished by having their most deeply held wishes, friendships, and loves crushed to dust before their eyes, for daring to dream of a better life and a world that loves them.

Take a shot if:

Jayce Talis is not even acknowledged in fanworks as a mixed race man, nor as a person of color, with no attempt to engage with the complexity inherent in his experience of privilege, and the ways in which he is a product of his upbringing, and where these factors intersect with class commentary. Take a half shot if the character is whitewashed, and turned into the kind of bland, boring, vanilla caricature that we're used to seeing in media in perpetuity, who exists as a foil to the villains, a symbol of virtue, and a blank slate on which the viewer is meant to project themselves and their own beliefs.

Take a full shot if the character is the epitome of the white savior trope: a smug, paternalistic, know-it-all white man, whose self-assurance in his own superiority allows him to walk in and take over a conflict, then tell people what to do.

Take two shots if characterization veers the other extreme and he's just a sweet, dumb, himbo puppyboy with no personality, no goals, no desires, and no motivations of his own, save for making Viktor happy and doing his best to be a good boy.

Take three shots if Mel is the one leading him by the nose, because nothing says 'nuance' like making a black woman the villain for the sin of having agency and not existing solely for vilification.

Drink the whole bottle if:

Caitlyn, an Enforcer and a Councilor's daughter, is portrayed as a sympathetic sweetheart angelcake, without being forced to confront the actions of the state and the institution of which she is a part, without being forced to face the consequences of her complicity in the system that oppresses others, nor without being forced to recognize the fact that her actions and her words are not, in and of themselves, inherently just, and the fact that her privilege does not automatically grant her moral authority.

Drink another if she is portrayed as a damsel, an innocent, a child who needs to be protected and cared for, rather than a full person with agency and a complex emotional landscape of her own.

Drink again if the characterization leans the other way and she is turned into a classist caricature, an entitled bitch who doesn't even realize she's the bad guy, or gets turned into a literal Nazi because, once again, folks cannot engage with complex topics such as classism, racism, ableism, etc. and instead resort to infantilizing, simplistic, and reductive portrayals.

Stop drinking and switch to cyanide if her characterization hinges on her relationship with Vi, within which Caitlyn is the dominant top here to 'tame' this feral subhuman, with no understanding of the uncomfortable and undeniably harmful implications of such a power dynamic.

Drink the rest of the alcohol stash if:

Vi, an adult, a former convict and a street savvy survivor, is reduced to an angsty, moody, petulant puppydog off her leash, unable to take responsibility for her own actions, and her trauma is treated as an excuse for her behavior.

Drink another bottle if she is portrayed as a hypermasculine, toxic, violent, and Cait is the one forced to tame her, make her behave, and bring her into line, and her relationship with Vi is portrayed as inherently parent-child, or worse, caretaker-charge, without any regard for Vi's autonomy and right to be flawed as a human being.

Drink a fifth if Vi is portrayed as a hypersexualized aggressor for the audience's titillation, with no attempt to engage with the fact that butch lesbian women have more complex emotions than 'sex starved nymphomaniac', nor the ways in which Vi's abuse, abandonment, and trauma have impacted her relationship with intimacy and sexuality. Drink another if the characterization shifts the other way and Vi becomes a sexless robot who has no personality or wants, nor is given room to grieve for her family, her home, or her own trauma, and is instead expected to bounce back, get over it, and move on as nothing more than Caitlyn' Brave Buff Gf (tm).

Drink the entire bar if:

Viktor, a disabled man, is depicted as a neurotic, fragile, jittery wreck. Take two bottles if his disability is treated as a punchline, or the defining characteristic of his existence, and the only time we're meant to consider his body or his physical pain is when he's having an episode and collapsing, or having a coughing fit, and it's treated as a joke, rather than something which affects him and his ability to function.

Take three bottles if he's taken the other extreme and he is twinkified and babygirlified, and his sexuality and his love life are the only thing we're meant to care about, and his romantic relationship with Jayce is the only thing he's allowed to have, lest the audience think too hard about the ways in which he and his work might benefit Zaun, or how the Council might respond to a disabled person from an underprivileged background.

Take a fourth if the characterization shifts and he's reduced to a hypersexualized toy: a broken doll to be pitied and fetishized and cared for, and Jayce is his Daddy, his owner, his caregiver, his knight in shining armor, all in one.

Take a fifth if, in the midst of all this, his relationship with his disability, and the ways in which it has impacted his life and his choices, is completely glossed over.

Take six if his relationship with his disability is not even acknowledged.

Switch to cocaine if:

Jinx, one of the most complex characters in the show, and the only one with any sort of internal consistency, is reduced to a whiny helpless brat who just wants a hug and an explanation for her widdle feewings from a big strong grownup.

Take an eightball if her relationship with her sister, her trauma, and her mental health is reduced to the 'Hot Psycho' trope: an excuse to play up the 'cool' aspect of her personality while completely ignoring the trauma at the heart of her actions/behavior. Take another if the characterization swings the other way, and she's reduced to a one-dimensional villainess, a demon, an amoral monster, and the only motivation for her actions is the fact that she is a crazy bitch, and the only reason for her existence is to serve as a foil for Vi's goodness and the audience's own hangups re: mental illness and critically engaging with the more unpalatable aspects of human behavior.

Switch to crack if her relationship with Silco or Vi is not even mentioned.

Pour a glass of absinthe if:

Silco, a single parent, a survivor of violence at the hands of a loved one, a victim of systemic abuse, and a revolutionary, is portrayed as the ultimate villain, and his desire to fight for a better life for his community is somehow worse than the Council's decision to literally silence everyone in the undercity via chemical runoff, political neglect and police brutality.

Pour two if he is a cartoonish, hamfisted boogeyman, with no sense of his humanity, nor the ways in which he is a product of the same systems that hurt every undercity character, and the ways his actions replicate the cycle of abuse and hurt the ones he seeks to save in turn.

Pour a third if he becomes an unrepentant sadist, a child abuser and a sexual predator, and there is nothing loving or fatherly about his relationship with Jinx.

Pour four if the character is taken to the other extreme and he's sanctified as a literal martyr and hero, and all his wrongdoing is glossed over because he's just a ~victim~, and everything he does is justified, no matter how terrible, because he had a traumatic childhood or his abusive ex didn't die soon enough. Eat the sugarcube if his bond with Jinx is suddenly a wholesome Disneyfied gag-fest wherein he calls her "Pumpkin" and babies her like a toddler, and their relationship has zero codependent overtones, and she's suddenly a sweet innocent who doesn't have blood on her hands, same way he's not the one who sanctioned it.

Eat the bottle of absinthe if Silco is given the tumblr sexyman treatment, and suddenly he's just a walking Daddy Kink, with no regard for the ways in which he is a complex person, nor the ways in which he and other characters might actually interact, or his history or his trauma or the way it impacts his life.

Drink the whole liquor cabinet if:

Zaun is portrayed as a dystopian hellscape rather than a robust, vibrant, diverse community, with a wide range of experiences and a deep and nuanced relationship with authority, power, and violence. Break into the cellar if, instead, it's just a shitty stereotypical ghetto, full of criminals, addicts, and victims.

Light a cigarette if Piltover, a technological juggernaut that also has a diverse immigrant population, and a vibrant and rich cultural identity, is reduced to a bland, generic, vanilla utopia, and is full of pompous blowhards who have never engaged with the undercity outside the scope of the narrative.

Light a molotov cocktail if it swings the opposite direction and Piltover is turned into an neoliberal nightmare, a soulless, shiny, hollow, plastic, faceless wasteland, populated only by vapid, shallow, self absorbed stooges and shills who have no depth or personality of their own.

Throw the molotov and light the house on fire if:

'Piltover and Zaun' is not even mentioned, and there is no acknowledgement of the way these two cities shape the cast of characters who reside within these systems, much less a mention of the ways in which the characters might not be fully representative of the communities they are a part of, and the fact that they are still very much human beings with individual experiences.

If you didn't get alcohol poisoning, a whopping hangover, or a charge of arson: congratulations.

You win.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I heard a raw line from Guilllermo Del Toro the other day about monsters being the perfect way to express human failure:

“…monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing.”

And i was wondering your take on this quote in relation to things like vampire and werewolf and other semi-monster subtexts. “Monstrous” humans that are ironically allowed to act more human more often than… humans. I just find the attempt to make an outlet for imperfection while still at large criticizing it fascinating.

I mean, yeah, there's a long history of interpreting monsters through queer, anti-colonial, feminist and other Outsider lenses for exactly those reasons. The monster is the Other who is vilified by the in-group, which represents all that the in-group hates. The monster must, by its nature, fail to live up to the standards and expectations of the in-group, which is why it must be destroyed. But that also means the monster is free from the standards and expectations of the in-group, including oppressive and bigoted ones.

So, as an example, if you're queer, and rhetorically treated as inhuman and monstrous and diseased anyway, or eugenically classified as a deviant mutation or sub-derivation of "real" people, there is real appeal and a real sense of resistance in claiming monsterhood, in embracing it and glorying in it.

In part, that's what the rallying cry "we're here, we're queer, get used to it!" meant and still means. It is a reclaiming of monsterhood as a source of strength and community and pride, rather than shame. Slurs are used to Other queer people, to set them apart from "real" people and mark them out as a monstrous deviation from the virtuous norm - slurs are used to call us monsters. And thus a lot of queer people find a lot of power and freedom in reclaiming them, in turning their Othering into a flag to rally around.

And I think that's still a big part of the appeal of the monster, honestly, that freedom from being what someone else thinks you ought to be.

If you're a monster, you don't have to have the perfect body, you don't have to suppress your lust or your love. You don't have to shave your body hair or dress correctly for your assigned gender, or have a white picket fence house with a spouse and 2.3 children. You don't have to sit primly at the dinner table, you don't have to repress your emotions, you don't have to hate the foreigner or despise the gays or fear the trans agenda. You don't have to have a small, straight nose or perfect cheekbones, you don't have to wait to fuck until you're married, or pretend you want to fuck at all. You don't have to want to get rich or be a CEO, you don't have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps or be on your grindset, or cheer when the cops clear out a homeless camp.

To be a monster is to be free from the inhumanity that is forced on us by white supremacy, by fatphobia, by heteronormativity, by imperialism, and by the interests of capital. To be a monster is to be human in all the ways that are inconvenient to oppression.

... but I went off on a tangent there a little bit - vampires and werewolves, right. I have no theoretical or academic basis for any of this, so this is entirely a personal hot take, but I think vampires are perhaps a bit more about "passing" as a fantasy. Not necessarily in a gender sense, but the ability to keep your true nature undetected by the "normal" folk, while the secret things that make you different also make you dangerous and powerful. Surviving by stealing sustenance from a world that hates you, on terms that are entirely yours to dictate. "I will survive even if it kills you," that kind of vibe.

Werewolves, on the other hand, feel more like a defiant, angry embrace of the monstrous. Transforming into something vast and powerful and furious, growing out of your skin, out of your form, out of your boundaries; howling your nature to the moon and mauling any motherfucker who has a problem with it. Giving in to all the beastly unnatural urges, and diving into the horrible monstrous wants and desires that boil inside you (which, remember, include things like Not Wanting To Fuck or Wanting To Hold A Girl's Hand In A Lesbian Sort Of Way). Less the "I outfoxed your social game and drank you dry" slick vampire power fantasy and more the "call me a slur one more time and I'm going to wear your entrails like a fucking scarf" power fantasy.

Again, that's just personal hot takes, everyone's understanding of the monstrous in relation to themselves is different. I've seen a number of genderfluid and nb people use monstrousness as a way to defy occupying a shape that can be gendered for example.

[barbwritesstuff]

I went to a couple of writing workshops on the weekend and one of the authors speaking had some very prescriptive things to say about writing.

Things such as:

"If you don't use the hero's journey structure your writing is ugly."

"There can only be one protagonist. If someone tells me they have multiple protagonists in their story, they fundamentally don't understand the craft of writing."

"Readers have to empathise with the main character. Being relatable is the most important trait for a main character to have."

"Action comes before dialogue."

"Our bodies mimic the breathing patterns in punctuation."

"Stories have to have a satisfying ending, or they're not good stories. Unsatisfying endings are a modern invention which has harmed book sales."

And. Look. I know I'm not a big, famous flash-bang author or anything.

But some of these things are just outright false. I also really feel like this sort of attitude is (at best) snobby, and (at worse) shitty.

It's also not a very new attitude. Since the dawn of humanity, humans have been saying things like: "Stories are only good if XYZ."

And so, I just wanted to get online and say one thing:

"Aviate. Navigate. Communicate."

Those are the actions pilots are meant to do in an emergency. It's very important that they do them, in that order, because if they don't, there is a higher probability of disaster.

Like... crashing to the ground in a flaming ball of death level of disaster.

Writers (and I cannot stress this enough) are not pilots.

If we break rules, no one dies.

Sometimes, when we break rules, wonderful things happen.

So—while I think it's hugely useful to learn about story structure, craft, etc—coming at an art with absolute rules like this, is silly.

We're not pilots. Lives are not on the line. We can (and should) be creative and have fun. And if it doesn't work out? Oh well. That's fine. That's how we learn and grow as writers.

Also, what works for one writer may not work for another, and that's fine. Commerical success isn't everything... and there are actually plenty of very commercially successful books and stories that break these 'absolute' rules this author talked about.

So...

Yeah.

That's my lukewarm take.

Write and have fun. Don't worry about this sort of snobby silliness.

P.S I did actually enjoy the workshop and I think overall this author had good takes. I think there were just some very silly takes sprinkled in and I've been ruminating on them for a couple of days.

[drdemonprince]

i recently joined a discord server for a kink ive held my entire life and repressed out of shame, something i thought i would ever do in my life. initially it was really great, the reception was awesome and i had a lot of euphoria being in that space! but literally for the first time in my life, i stopped being aroused by that kink. i have had waves of sex repulsion come and go but this was not it, it was like nothing. which scared me a little bit, because i did not want to feel that way. i sort of had to retrain myself to be aroused by it but it doesn’t feel like to the same degree, and was wondering if there is possibly any explanation for this kind of occurrence bc it was very new to me

Is it possible you are getting "the ick" because the reality of your long-buried shame-filled fantasy is a lot more mundane and, frankly, unsexy than the forbidden and impossible seeming stuff that plays in between your ears when you're jerking off?

I think that sometimes our shame and the intense emotional charge of our inner erotic lives can lead us to romanticize what we are into (even if half of the romance is a dark sorrow over how our kinks are forbidden). And then, once we're in an actual kink community talking to guys in utility kilts with crumbs in their beards about manga and shit in between scenes, things suddenly don't seem so scary or alluring anymore, and our desire dries right up. You might even think to yourself something like: this is it? And wonder why you spend so much goddamned time agonizing over your kinks, if realizing them was just going to look like attending a grungy potluck and making out with someone who tastes like cigarettes and Mr Pibb.

At times, a similar revulsion has happened to me, Anon. I spent so many years cooking up a gauzy, illicit fantasy of hypnotically surrendering to an owner who would take hold of my entire body and mind (all while beating myself up for wanting such a dark thing) that then I was turned off when I finally got to venture into the real-life hypnokink community and mostly saw a bunch of novelty party-tricks being exchanged noncommittally between perfectly nice, tame, safe, unvillainous people. I wasn't going to get kidnapped, drugged, and brainwashed by Hannibal Lecter like I'd always hoped/feared; to realize my hypnotic fantasies I'd have to fucking network with a bunch of normal-ass people, and hopefully find some nurse's assistant from aurora illinois with three kids and an asthmatic dog who wanted to play around with me for like an hour before getting back to their regular life with all their regular problems. It sometimes felt like so much goddamned work to negotiate a scene that didn't remotely touch the edges of my intense fantasies, and it was all so coated in the material of everyday life that it no longer felt like an escape. The disappointing nature of mundane reality meant that sometimes I wanted to give up and stop trying to realize my fantasies at all.

I'm not sure if this is precisely what is happening for you, Anon, but I do think that after fighting back waves and waves of shame for years and finally succeeding and conquering it, there can be a kind of crash where you're not ashamed of what you wanted anymore, but you are a little ashamed of how much goddamned effort it all was and how much you made it into a Big Deal mentally when it really wasn't a big deal at all. It can feel like a let down, especially if the shame is part of what made the kinky fantasy seem so darkly compelling.

The only way to get over it is to give yourself some time to feel however it is you're going to feel, and maybe take a break from the kink community in question if that's what you'd truly like to do, and then return to it again with more tempered, mundane expectations when you're ready to let the kink just be a silly collaborative improv activity that some humans do together. Or you can go back to furtively writing smut about it, if it's the idea of the fantasy you like more than the reality.

[thestalkerbunny]

Stalky's Live Direct React

It's mainly regarding Pokemon Z-A cause that's all I DEEPLY AND CARNALLY CARE ABOUT but let's get French

New Trainer fits look cute; the male protag looks a LOT like Sycamore.

ALL THE CHIKORITA HATERS CAN FUCKING HUFF MY DUFF, MY GIRL IS BACK, NOBODY TOUCH ME, THIS FUNKY LITTLE MANDRAKE DINOSAUR IS HOME. EVERYONE SUCK IT HARD.

Why it look like he on an awkward lunch date?

Now a new game changing mechanic: PARKOUR AND FALL DAMAGE /j

Tf is you

TF is YOU?

Mega Evos are BACK Bay BEE

LOOK OUT ITS A WELL DRESSED FRENCH WHITE WOMAN (With insignia possible new team boss?)

I HAVE FOUND THE WEIRD OLD MAN I WILL BE HYPERFIXATING OVER, EVERYONE ELSE MAY LEAVE, ME AND THIS WEIRDO NEED TO BE ALONE.

Wait....Wait is that the fucking GIANT from the last game.....

Oh my God it fucking is, That's AZ.

Someone getcha dog off the damn roof.

Hottest take-I think the overall theme is going to be Progress Vs. Nature. Much like the Art movement of Art Deco Vs Art Nouveau; human design compared to natural design. As seen in the Z and A logo Straight rigid lines vs organic curves.

NOTHING LIKE CHATTING WITH YOUR HOLOGRAM SON.

Ah I love the scent of french trash in the air.

One of these things is not like the other-one of these things is ANCIENT.

Ah that's who you is.

GOD HE'S SO FREAKISHLY TALL-FUCKING CROTCH HEIGHT TO HIM. Also HIGHLY cool choice to show him with a knee brace and a cane because in recorded history and science-WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE THAT TALL and people who do reach that height often need disability aids to help.

We gotta get her. She's a fucking CEO.

I love that he just....has a hotel now. He's got old classic hotel vibes. Honestly-I really like it because if there's one thing I DONT like in design is ultra modernism where it's minimal with no colors or patterns. It actually irks me the heck off-I get pissed off walking into an apple store.

Fucking gated communities.

Ah...I don't think we'll be exploring the rest of Kalos and be primarily centered within the city itself. A tad bit disappointing, I was looking forward to returning to Laverre City to see what happened to the charcoal remains I left when I went there in XY and BURNT EVERYTHING TO ASH

New game feature: YOU ARE NOW IN THE ATTACK RANGE, FUCKING BRACE YOURSELF IDIOT.

THIS. THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT FUCKING COMPANIES WITH FUCKING MINIMALIST DESIGN AND LOGOS AND SHIT PISS ME THE HELL RIGHT OFF.

DETECTIVE? D--DETECTIVE?!??! -frantically climbs over chair- DETECTIVE??!?!?!?!?

GET YOUR CRINGE ASS WORM OFF THE ROOF

Ah I love when Pokemon comes out around my birthday. It makes me feel so SPECIAL like it's a unique little treat just for me.

I'm honestly rather excited, Having the entire game take place in a contained singular city is a new angle. We're very used to being thrown willy nilly out into the wild to rough it between god and sheer luck. But now it's Urban Exploration. Which I think can be a strong idea on how FAR Lumiose city has developed since we long last saw it.

[cakeandpudding1]

Hi, how are you today? Could I ask for some headcanons of Poseidon falling in love with a mermaid reader? but she is not in love with him, she wants to know the human world and marry a human she had seen on a boat (reference to Ariel from the little mermaid, perhaps). In the end she ends up marrying the human and leaving the ocean behind. Please and thank you! and by the way I would like to add that I love your writing, it is wonderful ♡

Of course ♥, this is...lmao😭 imagine his face 😭😭

♦ Poseidon × mermaid!reader ♦

How he'd react to you falling for...a euughh human. But I want to add a twist, just like in the little mermaid movie where Ariel loses her voice to get human legs? I hope you don't mind. 🙇‍♀️

° A mermaid sweetheart, and the tyrant of the ocean.°

° A mermaid sweetheart, and the tyrant of the ocean. °

- so to be fair, it is kinda his fault for being such an asshole to you. You were just praising him for how cool he was, and he just coldly shrugged you off.

- thinking back to it, okay, maybe it kinda was his fault. He's not very good with that type of communication, he's not the guy to talk to when you're feeling all happy and giddy or whatever.

- but now that he liked you? Wow. He won't admit it, but it's very obvious to all the fishes and creatures within the range of sight—that he has a big soft spot for you. YOU, a little mermaid who spends most of her free time swimming around, looking for cute pretty trinkets and things that sunk down to the ocean floor. And maybe also looking for a prince charming.

- he didn't realize it before it was too late. When you fell for a young man on a boat, sailing across the sea. You fell deeply in love with him, even trying to crawl up a rock to see him, to see his face and what it was like up there.

- you made a deal with a sea witch, who offered to give you human legs of you traded your voice, which was a bit suspicious. But hey! You wanted him, right? So you took it, dreaming of a new life with your prince charming.

- Poseidon had overheard about it through the grapevine, hearing about how a mermaid was able to live on land after making deals with a sea witch. This quickly ended in poseidon ordering the servant to get further information, since something in his gut told him to look into it further.

- and so, he found out. He found out you got married to a human, left the ocean and even going as far as trading your own voice to get human legs. You're trying to tell him he won't be able to see you swimming with that beautiful tail he's always had his eyes on?

He. Was. Pissed.

- he killed the sea witch, taking back the necklace that stored your voice. A voice that was meant for ONLY HIM to hear and listen to. It was all so sudden, your legs started to transform back into your tail, making you look at your beloved, who watched in horror.

- you quickly ran back to the deck, crying as the thunder rumbled and the sea roaring. The last thing you remember is a big earthquake, as well as a huge tsunami, swallowing the place whole and drowning all life forms into its waters.

- so yeah, he killed your significant other. Mans is not called a tyrant for nothing.

- you really thought he's the type to be like "as long as you're happy"? I'm sorry to break it to you...but..this is Poseidon we're talking about. It's not about who's happy, as long as he gets what he wants in the end.

- he'll make sure there's an indoor pool of water in his palace, forcing you there to stay. Or maybe just trap you in Atlantis to roam the ruins, to remind you of how your prince charming's palace will look like it soon.

- you may or may not end up developing stolkholm syndrome, but either way, you'll still be his wife. His alone, his forever. If you guys need to breed, he'll just have some other sea witch give you human legs, WITHOUT paying a price. They'll have their body cut in half if they ever try to take anything in return. Once breeding time is over, he'll have you turned back into a mermaid.

- I actually think that he rather have you wearing nothing on your top. He likes it better if you just have your whole chest out for him to see and look at. He can decorate you with jewelry and other Accessories too. Make sure you look pretty for him.

- you guys would probably have around 4-5 or maybe 8 kids if you both are really feeling it. He can make that shi happen until you can't birth any more out.

- he'll keep you hidden from the world,any single mention of you will quickly be silenced with a glare from him. He rather not share.

- no, you won't call him by his name like you're somewhat his buddy or something. You need to call him "lord Poseidon". It arouses him better, and because he likes to remember the hold he has on you.

- believe me, when he needs to go to a meeting in Valhalla or something, servants there gotta prepare a big tank full of water. Cus he's bringing you with him. You better be thankful he's even letting you see the outside world, because it's not very often that he lets you out like this.

- he's so moody and does not let the littlest thing slide. They got you the wrong type of water in your tank? They will die on the spot. It could be as little as putting a little decorative item in the tank that might hurt you, or not making the tank pretty enough for you.

- whatever it is, anyone who dissapoints will be sliced.

- you are a pampered little queen, getting such good treatment from everyone and everything within your range. So best if you don't ask, and just deal with it. Cus angering him is not worth it. I'm serious.

[starseneyes]

Buddie - Evan Buckley + Eddie Diaz - 8x17 - Kitchen Scene - Meta

I promised myself I wasn't gonna do this, damnit. I don't have time to dig into every ounce of lore.

But, I kept thinking about the kitchen scene on a long drive. This, of course, meant pulling out my phone to video record my thoughts because I was driving.

And I was thinking about how this was the Buddie scene of the last few episodes and how it's what we really have to chew on during the hiatus. And I have thoughts.

SPOILERS: I doubt many people here haven't seen 8x17, but I'm putting everything under the Keep Reading widget just in case.

Ready to dive into a way-too-long single-scene Meta? Let's!

Let's start with Eddie walking into the room wearing yet another jacket. He's been in layers often in the show, but what caught my eye was how Eddie immediately removed said jacket when he walked into the kitchen.

He's wearing his armor when he's out of the house—feigning fine when inside he's roiling as much as Buck, begging for his best friend to play his usual role and draw him out.

But Buck's trying to live out his interpretation of his father figure's last words—and that's spun him out. Bobby said they'd need him, right? But he feels like nobody needs him.

Instead of having open conversation, he's hyperfocusing on numbers and assessments and feeling like all signs point to, "They're fine". But nobody is fucking fine. Least of all Eddie "I'm a 12" Diaz.

The first shot shows us Eddie walking in. The camera is already unsteady, shaky, bearing the weight of the tension building in that room long before Eddie entered.

The warmth is drained of the kitchen. Nothing on the fridge or counters to suggest personality.

It's clinical. Like an operating table waiting for the blood to spatter as the surgeon makes the first cut. That won't take long.

Then we do something that I love that is acceptable in TV but somehow not acceptable to any of my teachers in my short stories—we shift POV. Our point-of-view goes from establishing the room to taking on Eddie's vantage as he walks in.

We're still on a purposefully-unsteady steady cam, feeling handheld and raw—like the nerves of the two men inhabiting the too small space—forced to wander the perimeter in awkward moves like mice squeezing through a maze without direction.

"Said I was gonna get the groceries." "I was out. It's fine."

And the conflict of the scene—that isn't the real conflict—is established.

Now, folks have commented that Eddie doesn't walk into the room with groceries, though he said he'd pick them up. My guess is that he planned to borrow Buck's car to grab them and has been Pepa-taxi-ing and Ubering around Los Angeles.

As someone who visited Los Angeles recently—that shit is expensive. I rented a bloody car rather than do that and my last visit only lasted 36 hours.

But Eddie wasn't planning on staying long, so my bet is he's relying on the mighty app. So, mayhaps he thought they'd share dinner and awkward silence before he did a grocery run using Buck's car after-shift.

But here's Buck with all the groceries in nondescript paper bags—so easily ripped and torn. Now, paper bags can be great if you know how to hold them properly. But when I first started using them, I tore every. single. one.

You have to do it right. Handle with care. But both of these humans are powderkegs at the moment—one with the canon pointed inward and the other aiming out.

Buck finishes at the one cabinet and moves clear across the room as Eddie pours himself a cup of coffee. Ordinarily, these two are magnets, drawn to one another naturally. But, now the polarity of the magnets have shifted, and they're naturally repelling one another.

It's instinctive—how Buck moves to the other side of the room before Eddie can align them. Yes, Eddie's poking Buck with his comment, but Buck's response is non-commital and passive aggressive.

Neither is handling this "communicating" thing, well. Not that they should, after all. This is supposed to be a scene fraught with heartache and heartbreak and the chasm of grief that often separates us from those we love most.

But it illustrates the point that Eddie and Buck are already walking on eggshells around one another, neither knowing what to say.

In the past, Eddie's house was a safe place for Buck. He could run there when Maddie's mothering was overwhelming or when his boyfriend broke his heart. For Eddie, Buck's presence was so natural that by Season 8A Buck could waltz in without a knock.

And while the walls remain—the foundational bones of a building—the house doesn't feel the same. Because where before one could anchor the other, both are unmoored.

Now, this is an interesting time to note—Buck is torn between being a petty bitch and still wanting to take care of Eddie.

There is no coffee mug out for Buck. So, when he got home with the groceries, he likely brewed a fresh pot of coffee before he started unloading them. Upset as he is—and his protest-buying of the groceries is a manifestation of that—he still instinctively wants to take care of Eddie.

And Eddie's still here for Buck.

We can pretend it's Aunt Pepa, like he said, but the real reason Eddie Diaz hasn't gone home is that things are wrong between him and the second-most important person in his life.

For so long, Eddie has thought his world was a single person—his son. But as the show wears on, the cracks reveal that there are two people that are his world—and one of them has completely closed himself off.

Buck is spiraling, let's be clear. Some spirals are easy to spot. But I went through an entire Post Partum Depression for six months after the birth of my twins and not one person noticed because I'm so good at masking.

And Eddie knows Buck well enough to spot it. He just has no idea how to pull him out because Eddie's instincts are always to wait for the other person to come to him—and too often he waits too long.

Here, Eddie is trying to draw Buck out. This is his best attempt at breaking through the noise to try to get something out of Buck. Because his best friend is internalizing and spiraling. And he does almost everything wrong.

In this scene, I'm an Eddie. My husband is a Buck. It sucked in our early arguments as we learned how to better handle my inherited temper and his instinct to shut down and internalize.

So I feel like Eddie is poking to try to get Buck to share what's really going on, because even Eddie Diaz knows this is not about the groceries.

"Doesn't feel like it's fine."

Because it's not. Buck sneaks a look at him, because he was hoping Eddie was going to say something. He was hoping Eddie was going to spill. He was hoping Eddie was going to talk to him.

These two keep expecting the other to act like a partner while telling themselves they're just friends.

Eddie didn't tell Buck about looking at real estate in El Paso. Buck didn't tell Eddie about adopting a dog. Eddie didn't tell Buck about getting the job in El Paso.

They're going back and forth and back and forth, but this time the hot potato is a grenade. And time's running out.

Buck finally turns to face him.

"I heard you finally got the call from El Paso Fire. Congratulations."

Again, passive aggressive. He's making it clear to Eddie that he heard this from someone else. Not from him. And Eddie immediately panics, freezing momentarily.

The whole thing is couple coded—I made this huge decisions without consulting you, dear—but it's worse because Eddie already left. This just solidifies his life really is somewhere else—away from Buck. And Buck wanted to hear it from him.

Look, I give Eddie credit for keeping Buck tied into his life while he's been in El Paso. Yes, Buck has had a lot of people leave him, contributing to his trauma and abandonment issues.

But Eddie kept him tied in through constant FaceTimes—because it's "serious"—and almost all major decisions regarding his (*cough* their *cough*) son.

So why didn't he clue Buck in on this one?

Oh, something must be wrong with Buck. There must be something off or broken about him that he can't be trusted. Buck's thinking it.

That's where the "all about you" comes in for me.

Buck isn't selfish in that he thinks the world's love and light revolves around him. No, he is self-focused because he was never loved as a child for who he was, so he internalizes any conflict around him as his fault.

Buck can't process the loss of his Father Figure because he thinks the way to do that is honor Bobby's last words—but they aren't aligning with what Buck is seeing around him. So, he's spiraling.

He truly thinks he's not worth staying for. Not worth being honest with. Not worth keeping. It's part of why he tries so hard in life to take care of the people around him.

Because if these people chose him, by God, he's going to choose them back ten times harder to try to keep them. He doesn't realize he doesn't have to try. He's never internalized the fact that they love him for him.

Not because he's "Buck, the guy with the answers" or "Buck, the guy who likes to fix things". Buck has no idea they love him because he's "Buck".

No qualifiers. They love him for who he is.

But he can't see that. So, he spins and spirals and thinks he's a burden, so he won't reach out. But by shutting everyone out and approaching everything clinically, he's lost the connection they all need so much.

When Buck (briefly) lost his job as a firefighter, he was drifting. He couldn't understand that this was a family. But in the aftermath of Bobby's death, he feels like his family is fractured and he can't pull them together.

He feels like he's failed them. And in that way, he's not seeing the full picture. He's only seeing his failure and not their shared grief.

And all his best friend/situationship wants is to draw him out so they can share this. So they can get through this together. So he can help Buck the way that Buck has helped him so many times.

But Eddie has no idea how to begin, and their worn nerves are growing more exposed by the chasm between them, straining from stretching as they pull further apart.

Eddie's now on the defensive, and that's already a bad place for Eddie—because he'll fight back harder to get himself out of the corner.

Now, I'm not excusing the shit Eddie's about to pull—and by that I mean the verbal jabs that that little shit knows are going to hurt—but looking for where it originates. "He's a fighter," Buck once said to Chris after his Dad had been shot.

Oh, those words are forever true for Edmundo Diaz.

"Who told you?"

And then Buck digs in a little. Because he's hurting. Because he's frustrated. He goes through the whole list, spoiling the Surprise Party as he goes, because he's hurt and feeling petty.

This all stems from Buck never truly feeling settled with those he loves. He's always waiting for them to abandon him, to forget him, to forsake him.

His insecurities are fed by the fact that he still doesn't see himself as a part of the ecosystem or organism of their Found Family. He views himself as a grafted piece that never takes.

He doesn't understand that he's loved and cherished and intricately woven into the same tapestry as they all are, the threads intersecting and overlapping in ways that bind them to one another.

He can't see it. And so he lashes out a bit, here, going step-by-step through the perceived betrayal.

"I was gonna tell you." "But you didn't, did you?"

Eddie is slightly out of focus as he says this, just coming into focus. Everything feels off and wrong and foreign in the best of ways.

Let's be clear—camera work is a fucking art. Some people go to school for it. Some people learn it on-the-job. But the camera crew is often under appreciated, and this team is showing off in the best way.

We're getting a feast, loves, of little choices that help lead us on an emotional journey through this scene. That's mastery.

Eddie's brow furrows at Buck's words. He can feel the heat coming off of Buck, at last.

There's something besides the blank "everything is okay" mask Buck's been wearing for the past few weeks. The porcelain's beginning to crack, and Eddie can see the flesh beneath.

But Buck's words aren't about Bobby. They're about them. This isn't what Eddie wanted to discuss. Maybe that feeds into why he waited so long to tell Buck—he wanted them to be in a good place, first.

But there's no space to breathe in a room quickly filling with the smog of their grief and misplaced frustration. Buck moves ahead with his head-canon—everyone thinks something's wrong with me.

Eddie tries to distance himself from it. He knows he is frustrated and he's trying to put space between him and Buck as he simmers.

"Instead everyone's been tip-toeing around behind my back 'cause apparently I'm too fragile to accept the truth."

They are now on opposite sides of the room, the table separating them, cutting them off from one another. A physical representation of the emotional block preventing them from coming together in a time of shared grief.

Between them, a bag of groceries on the table. But it was never about the groceries.

"Can you blame us? Look how you're acting now." "You really think I'd wouldn't have been happy for you?"

Eddie thinks he's being factual—he hasn't yet turned to wordplay as weaponry—but it plays into Buck's fears. Because people who go around him can just so easily move away.

Buck's always afraid that he isn't worth staying for, not worth keeping. Eddie is afraid he's too broken to be the support anyone else needs.

And, God, they need each other, here. Not in a romantic way, no. But because nobody in the world understands the other like him.

Eddie once chided Buck that well as he knows his sister, Maddie, there are ways Chimney knows her that Buck never will. Buck and Eddie are each other's person. No matter what else they will be on this show, that is a fact.

Eddie is ill-equipped to be what Buck needs in this moment because the roles are reversed—Buck repressing and Eddie desperately wanting to draw him out.

He's never learned how to be a partner in that way. We can see from all of his relationships that he's a runner, not someone who digs in and learns how to do it better. So he's going to fuck this up.

And that's going to play into Buck's fears.

Again, he's internalizing that Eddie must think the worst about him. But Eddie doesn't understand that's what Buck is doing. He doesn't know where that comes from—the source of him sometimes acting out and getting it wrong.

It comes from a lack of self-worth, not an over-abundance of self-esteem.

Yes, both have to do with an unhealthy centering of self, but Eddie doesn't fully understand and Buck can't fully articulate.

And right now, neither is in a place to dive in that deep. No, they're too busy tearing at the flesh of the still-wounded animal within, slowly bleeding out from an unhealed wound.

"No, I know you wouldn't be. You'd make it all about you. The trials and tribulations of Evan Buckley. A tragedy in 97 acts."

The most dramatic line ever uttered by the resident King of Sass, but it's more than that.

Where Buck was poking with his remarks about the El Paso job, Eddie is jabbing Buck with a knife. He's cutting into Buck's deepest vulnerabilities trying to elicit a response—to get him to fight back.

But that's not Buck's style. Right now, Eddie is pushing because that is what he needs. It's not what Buck needs. And right now Eddie's hurting too much to see that.

So, his words that normally weave together Buck's wounds tear them further open.

Notably, after this line is when Eddie rounds the table, putting him and Buck on the same side. He pulls back from the jabs, trying to speak plainly.

"You've been spiraling since the funeral and no one knows how to talk to you about it."

But Buck's still hurting from the last comment, the one before. So he responds with a jab of his own.

"Sorry I'm sad that Bobby's dead."

The implication is clear—you're not sad, Mr. "I scored a 12".

Because grief can't be measured on a scale. It comes in waves and crashes. It bowls you over in moments when you're feeling fine and drags you under when you least expect.

And right now it overflows in Eddie Diaz.

PAUSE: I understand there are those who were triggered by this interaction and I do not wish to make light of anything. From my perspective, Eddie was not going to hurt Buck and Buck was in zero danger, but please know that does not in any way suggest I think my opinion invalidates your lived-in experience or understanding of the scene.

He grabs onto Buck's shoulder, pointing with his free hand. As others have noted, I immediately realized it was the "wrong shoulder". Destielers know a wrong shoulder when they see one!

The other shoulder is comfort. It's grounding. It's familiar and loving.

This time, it's a reach of desperation. Note how we have not seen any physical contact between these two since Eddie returned from El Paso. Not a brushing of hands passing a beer. Not a welcoming hug.

Yes, Buck briefly leaned into Eddie as he stood, unsteady, at the funeral. But that's the closest thing we've seen on-screen.

Eddie needs to get through to Buck. He needs his best friend to hear him. So, he grabs ahold of him on that wrong shoulder, and he points with emphasis.

So many emotions flash through Eddie's face as he tries to get through to Buck. He gathers himself enough to keep his words controlled, measured, without accusation.

"You're not the only one that lost him. We all lost him."

Eddie releases Buck and steps away. The emotions are coming through stronger, the next line delivered with the pain and struggle of trying to keep one's emotions in, but them spilling out, anyway.

"And we're just trying to do our damned best to get through it." "Yeah, I know."

Eddie turns away from Buck on this, leaning onto the table, his back to his best friend. He's hurting so bad, and it's tumbling out—those waves of grief crashing one after the other.

He's already stumbling on the ocean floor under the weight of them, shoving him down into the shattered shells that scratch his face.

"Really? Cause you never asked what it was like..."

Because Buck always asks. He hounds Eddie about Panic Attacks. He tells the man he doesn't have to pretend with him. He's always the one pushing to make sure that Eddie is okay.

But neither one of them is okay, and Eddie doesn't know how to play the Buck role in the relationship because reaching out has never been natural.

And can we please talk about the composition of this shot?! I've mostly experienced 9-1-1 via GIFs and clips. But I can't remember many shots that were contained that took my breath away like this one.

I'm not talking about some silhouette of a rescue or some massive explosion or whatever. I'm talking about a shot of two people in this moment who are unable to face the same direction, even.

Eddie wants to be with Buck (again, not romantically at this second... just aligned in this moment) but he's breaking and has to turn away, to root himself on something solid and unmoving like that table.

He's often the anchor with his shoulder touch and words of encouragement—but not today.

Buck wants to be with Eddie, so his body is open to the kitchen... but his gaze is almost entirely away from him in this shot. He's normally the one reaching out, drawing Eddie out from his inner self. But this time, he's the one drowning in his own self-inflicted misery.

He's also holding onto the counter, if you note. They're both holding onto something for strength, for balance, for bearing—because right now they can't hold onto each other.

It's just fucking gorgeous. This whole scene is so fucking gorgeous.

Eddie's flashback hurts like hell. We remember the last time he got bad news of an important death—the time he broke down and took a bat to everything he owned, scaring the shit out of young Christopher who called Buck in desperation.

This time, Eddie knew there was no one to call. There was no Buck nearby to calm his kid and talk him through it.

And that's obviously not Buck's fault, but I think moments like that emphasized for Eddie just how alone he was... and just how much he needs Buck.

No, I don't think the realization has happened, yet.

I have my own head-canons about Eddie's journey of self-discovery that anchor him in who he is, as affirmed by others in his life long before Buck even gets on his radar as a potential romantic partner.

But, that's a story for another Meta (that I swear I am not gonna write, dagnabbit!).

We switch from that dark, shadowed flashback to the too-bright light of the kitchen. Neither is safe. Neither feels like home.

The instability is intentional—keeping us as off-balance as the characters, depriving us of warmth. It's all so cold. So blue. So wrong.

"Sitting alone in the dark. Trying to keep it together so I don't scare the crap out of my kid."

Eddie finally meets Buck's eyes on that last word. Because if they have nothing else, they have Chris.

And both of them know what happened the last time Eddie lost it, the last time he scared Chris. But this time, Eddie knew he couldn't let himself feel it. He had to keep it in for Chris.

Tears well in Eddie's eyes. He's finally letting himself feel. But Buck's still behind the wall, still closed off, still hiding from feeling because he thinks he needs to be strong.

Eddie turns away, again. He knows he's not getting through.

"I'm sorry."

This breaks Eddie. Breaks him right in half. Because the last thing he wants is to make Buck feel worse. He wants Buck to open up to him the way he wants so desperately to open up to Buck.

And this is all Ryan Guzman giving us a feast of a facial journey. I feel like this season he hasn't had many opportunities to shine, so given this wallop of a scene, he gave his all. Nothing is held back.

I'm damn proud of the kid (he's younger than my baby brother, so I feel like I can call him "kid").

But watch Buck in the background. I don't know if this was Oliver Stark's instincts, something written on the page, or a Directorial choice... but it's so subtle, yet so impactful.

Buck can't see Eddie's face, but he knows him well enough to understand this hurt Eddie worse. Oh, no. I hurt him worse. It's another mistake. Another failure. Something else he can't fix.

So he looks away. He oh so briefly looked to Eddie on the apology, but having seen what it wrought, he looks away.

"I know he was important to you, too." "He saved my life. And I wasn't there to save his."

Yes, you were, Eddie. You were. You just don't know you did it. You don't know how you gave an alcoholic hope when he had none. You have no idea how your words had an impact.

You did save him, Eddie. Just not this time.

And it really feeds into how Eddie at his best is the one to offer the words others need. It's really his superpower much as it's his curse. His words can wound, but they can also heal.

He just doesn't have the right words right now.

"And a part of me will always wonder if I was there, could I have made a difference?"

His voice is soft. He's facing Buck, though he's not meeting his eyes. He wants Buck to listen and hear him. He wants Buck to see him and draw him closer, not push him away.

"You don't think I did everything I could to save him?"

Buck stepped away from the counter, at last, on this line. He's not listening at all, now. He's hearing what he expects to hear. Buck, you failed him.

But that's not what Eddie says. And in his mind, Buck just did what Eddie feared he would do—made it all about him.

And, again, this is not about being selfish or self-centered. Eddie just lamented that he feels guilty for not being there. And Buck turns around and accuses him of doubting that he did everything he could.

That's not what it was about, Buck. This is about Eddie sharing Eddie's self-doubt.

But Buck sees it as another example of his own failure. And Eddie doesn't realize that. He doesn't understand the source and intention behind what Buck is saying.

And Buck is mis-reading into what Eddie said. Eddie not being there is about Eddie's guilt, not any accusation on Eddie's part about Buck's worth.

But Eddie feels like he's not being heard, so he gets in one more jab before leaving the room.

"I don't know, Buck. I wasn't there."

They're talking past one another because they don't fully understand the root of one another's traumas and how that manifests. And, like, they're best friends not lovers, right?

Sure, the line is so messily drawn it's more of a squiggle of marker on a damp piece of paper that's spreading in every direction. They've functioned as co-parents and partners for years without noticing.

And this speaks to how little either knows of true love. Of true partnership. That they found it in one another is a miracle deserving of song.

We all know how the episode ends—and I'm not gonna do the rest, dagnabbit—but I do want to point out that Eddie realizes after the fight what Buck needs.

And instead of running away, he tries to do better, to own up to being a dick, to get through to Buck not with words or fights... but with love. With family. With a sense of belonging.

Buck needs something Eddie can't give at the moment. But Eddie knows someone who can give him that grounding. It just happens to be the same human who holds his whole heart.

And that's what Eddie brings to Buck at the end of the episode. No, Buck doesn't get to keep Eddie's heart at this point—the physical representation in his son or the metaphorical one still locked away in a padlocked box within.

But someday, that boy who already thinks of Buck as his second Dad will utter the word "my Dads" and Buck's heart will burst with pride.

Someday Eddie's big brown eyes will hold Buck's blues and the charge between them will be so undeniable that one or both will have to act.

And someday Edmundo Diaz will give himself permision to love as Evan Buckley gives himself permission to be loved.

And that will be a damn beautiful thing.

At least... that's my hope. But I'm a sentimental old fool, so I guess we shall see.

Truly, my hat's off to everyone in this scene. Acting was impeccable. Camera work sensational. Lighting and set dressing set the tone immediately. Editing a dream. Directing was gorgeous. Writing was exceptional.

These are the scenes where I get excited as a viewer and I forget to think about what's happening on-screen from an analytical mind. That's rare for me. So this scene was a real treat!

Thanks for sticking around for this one, loves. It's a one-off! Truly! I'm working on breaking a Pilot, Outlining a Feature, and I need to get back on my Strike Book that has been waiting for my full health (finally getting there) to re-address.

Remember, loves—give yourself grace, make time for joy, and take every opportunity to dance in the rain.

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Angel!Lucifer x Human Reader: Second Preview

Hey hey! This is for all you night owls out there! I call this a preview but it's pretty long lol. The people in my community already read a part of this but there's new stuff too! Let me know how you enjoy it so far! And again, thank you for being so patient with me on this one <3

No active warnings!

You looked down and began to fiddle with your hands, unsure if your reason would upset the angel. "It's Adam..." you began, "He's...so needlessly demanding and harsh. He doesn't see us as equals, he believes himself to be superior to me. I've tried explaining to him that he shouldn't be acting this way, but he refuses to listen! Finally, I had enough of him...so I ran..." You felt the tears well up in your eyes once more, small whimpers escaping your throat as you tried to hold yourself together. "I know we're meant to be partners and I've sure heaven will not be happy b-but..."

"Shh, it's alright." Lucifer cooed as he wiped away the tears the fell down your cheek. "Please, no more tears. You were right to stand up to him. Adam should know better." You sighed and let your head rest in Lucifer's small yet tender hand. You glanced over at the pound when you heard an unfamiliar noise emanating from the center. You noticed some feathered creatures you didn't recognize swimming on the lakes surface. There seemed to be one that was much larger than all the others. You looked back at Lucifer and saw his face light up with delight. "Do you see those little ones over there?" You nodded. "Heaven may not have wanted my input on creation, but that doesn't mean I didn't have any."

"Are those your creations?" you asked.

Lucifer smiled and then sighed. "One of very few. Do you want to get a closer look?"

You looked back out to the water and saw the group of animals flap their wings, splashing the water in every direction. They seemed so full of life and energy, watching them play filled your heart with warmth. You nodded, albeit a bit nervously. Lucifer let out a melodic whistle; you watched as the little creatures made their way towards the lake bank. You saw them use their small wings to help them onto land and waddle towards the two of you. Initially, you stretched out your hand to touch one of the smaller ones but pulled back in hesitation.

"Don't worry," lucifer reassured, "they are harmless, I promise! Watch!" Lucifer cupped his hands together and laid them down in the soft grass. A few of the small ones happily chippered and hopped into his palms. "Want to give it a try?"

You copied Lucifer's motions exactly and watched as the same thing happened with the remaining babies. Their feathers were bright yellow and soft to the touch. You were in awe of the little lives you held in your hands. "They’re so small," you said aloud to no one in particular. "What are they, Lucifer?"

The angel lowered his hands and let the little ones go back to what you now assumed was their guardian. "I named them ducks," Lucifer answered. "The little ones are ducklings; not fully formed yet but they will grow!"

You nuzzled your cheek to the handful of ducklings; their little peeps made you chuckle. "They're beautiful!" you exclaimed, letting them down so they could join their family once more.

"Yeah, beautiful..." you heard Lucifer murmur. You looked over to see his lovely blue eyes staring straight back at you, a tint of yellow now colored his cheeks. "Uhh, I mean, umm...here! Watch this!"

A sudden flash of sparkles left you dazed, but only for a second. Lucifer had disappeared in front of your eyes.

"Lucifer?" you called out, looking to either side of you but seeing no one.

"Down here!" you heard his voice respond. You looked down and saw a small little white duck in Lucifer's top hat. He smiled at you and wagged his feathered tail. You couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, what an adorable little creature," you fawned playfully, cupping your hands once again and allowing him to hop in them. You brought him to your cheek and nuzzled him as you did with the others. Lucifer quacked in excitement. "I didn't know you could change forms!"

"It's not something I do often," he admitted. By the tone of his voice, it almost seemed like it was something that had been discouraged. "But I don't mind making a special exception for you!" You noticed the sun began to dip over the horizon, the fleeting sunlight shimmering off Lucifer's pristine white feathers. It would be night soon, and in that moment you realized you didn't have anywhere else to go. Lucifer noticed the change in your demeanor, tilting his head. "Is something the matter?" Before you could open your mouth to speak, a bellowing call could be heard from the tree line.

"Where the fuck could she be?!" you heard the voice ask, filled with annoyance. Adam. You saw the man push past the foliage and make it to the clearing. His eyes immediately found yours, and you felt as though your heart had nearly stopped. You let Lucifer down gently before standing up.

"Stay here," you whispered to him. "I'll talk with him."

"But-" Lucifer tried to refute, but you shook your head intensely.

"I don't want to risk angering heaven," you responded. "The last thing I want is for you to be punished for my choice. Please?"

Hesitantly, Lucifer nodded in agreement, making his way to the water to join the other ducks in an attempt to blend in. His little hat vanished as he started swimming. You sighed and turned to meet with the brute of a man who was already towering over you. His chest heaved; his breath was short. You could already tell this may not end well.

"Where the FUCK have you been?!" he began to shout, raising his hands in the air out of frustration. "I've been looking for you for way too long, you know that? Making me walk everywhere to find you? Fucking ridiculous!"

You took a deep inhale and let it out slowly before responding. "I'm sorry, Adam," you feigned an apology.

"Whatever," the man spat back. "You've had your temper tantrum, now let's g-" Adam paused, his eyes staring at the length of your body. "The fuck is this?" he asked grabbing the sleeve of the cloth that hung off your body. In your worry for Lucifer, you'd forgotten about the gift he had given you. You smacked Adam's hand away and wrapped your arms around yourself.

"It doesn't matter," you answered curtly.

You watched as the man's eyebrows furrowed at your non-compliance. "I don't have time for this," he reached out once more and took a firm hold of your wrist. "We're going back. Now!"

You slipped your wrist out of Adam's grasp and took a few steps back, your feet at the end of the lake. "I..." you started, your voice threatening to crack. "I'm not going back with you! I'm tired of your behavior and your disrespect. I'm not your servant, Adam, and I refuse to live the life I was given as your slave."

Adam snarled at you, stomping closer and closer to you, forcing you back into the water as you tried to avoid him. But it was to no avail. He was quick to grab your arm and yank you from the lake pulling flush against his bare chest. "That wasn't a suggestion," he spoke through gritted teeth. You tried to pull away but his grip on your arm was far too strong. "Like it or not toots, we're the only ones in this place. You have nowhere else to go and you know it! And frankly, I'm tired of these stupid games! Now, quit acting like a bitch and move your-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" a booming voiced roared. You felt a hand take a firm hold of the one that was trapped by Adam and watched as another tore Adam's own hand away from you. Lucifer appeared in front of you after separating you from the man. The angle floated off the ground, his wings spread out wide as he moved swiftly towards the startled man. "How dare you!" Lucifer growled. "How dare you put your hands on her like that! How dare you speak to her like that! You have no right!"

Adam held his hand in pain, shooting daggers in Lucifer's direction. "Who the fuck are you?!" He took a step closer, not waiting for an answer. Even as Lucifer hovered over the ground, Adam still towered over him easily. "You know what, I don't care! Listen, short stack, I don't know who you are or why you're here, but you need to get the fuck out of my way. She's my wife and I can do whatever I want to her. She's mine, got it?"

Adam curled his uninjured hand into a fist and took a swing at Lucifer, only for him to fall flat on his face as Lucifer easily dodged his attack. "Nice try," the angel taunted, "and by the way, the name's Lucifer." You let out a small laugh. Fire burned in Adam's eyes as he lifted his head.

"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled at you. But Lucifer would not accept this response. He latched onto Adam's arm and lifted him of the ground like he weighed nothing.

"What did I tell you about speaking to her like that?" Lucifer threatened. He tossed Adam against one of the trees that stood at the edge of the clearing. The man groaned in pain, attempting to pull himself up and lean his aching body against the tree. Lucifer quickly swooped down, acting as a barrier between the two of you. "You've shown me who you are, Adam. You are a monster, a disgrace. You treat this woman like the dirt you walk on and you expect her to stay with you? To love you?" Lucifer hoisted Adam up, pinning him against the trunk. "You will never see her again; do you understand me? You're going to leave this place and never come back. She is under my protection now. And if you ever so much as come within a mile of her, I will not hesitate to turn you back into the dust you were formed from." Lucifer released his grip on Adam and watched as he took a few steps back into the forest. "Leave. Now!"

Adam wiped the small amount of blood that dripped from his lip and laughed darkly. "Fine, keep her!" he yelled. "She doesn't mean anything to me! Who would want a slut like her anyway!"

"GO!" Lucifer bellowed.

Without another word, Adam took off into the trees. Lucifer flew high up in the sky within seconds, his arms stretched out on either side. The ground beneath you began to shake violently and you wanted to call out for Lucifer before you realized that he was the cause. Seemingly out of nowhere, large rock formations began rising from the earth, rock tumbling down as the mountains grew. As soon as they reached Lucifer's height, they stopped.

And then there was silence.

[letsgobarbs]

WHERE MY LORE STARTED

Thank you for the tag @almostfoxglove, this is a fun little thing @cuppajoel kickstarted.

How To Play: You make a lil moodboard of stuff that has inspired you, stayed with you (songs, shows, movies) and then you include them in the ppcu fandom by creating something (a moodboard, a drabble, a fic). Check out @cuppajoel's Marcus Acacius fic inspired by Monica and Richard from Friends.

You don't have to commit to anything big, it could just be a post about the stuff you love!!

Here's a few movies that stayed with me growing up:

All these movies are Hindi movies. The first English movie I ever watched was the last Harry Potter movie and safe to say i was UNIMPRESSED. Like what do you mean they just waved their sticks at each other and that was the climax??? get outta here.

These movies are the last golden era of Bollywood imo. Because we were on a real high here— love was the currency, it was something to aspire to. Movies explored love in all its forms, love was equated to devotion and worship. It was presented as a form of godliness in humans.

Then I grew up and got smacked in the fucking face just like the heroines in the movies by rising Hindu nationalism, sexism and misogyny. Where men being in love meant they could hit women because it was just a show of passion and possessiveness. And now movies are nothing more that revisionist action history flicks that seek to erase all presence of an entire minority group and overall being a Hindu nationalist mouthpiece and propaganda. Women in movies today don't have the AGENCY they used to unless it's specifically a female led film— but even then the plot is always somehow driven by a man 🥱🥱🥱.

Anywho. My love and appreciation for these 12 movies screamed under the cut:

Jodha Akbar

We're starting off SO strong. This movie informed my views on masculinity. Akbar was soft, warm, kind and it made him a better ruler AND lover. It was not a trait he was shamed for. As somebody who grew up in an abusive household, this movie was monumental when I realised that men apologised, they groveled when they were wrong. Most importantly, they cared about the women in their lives and valued them. I write the dialogues from this movie and it's songs into my fics.

3 Idiots

I carry a part of this movie with me, always. It's a comedy. But my god does it punch me in the feels. It's impacted how I see my education, success and career. It's also informed my opinion of how men should be— funny, kind, ingenious, uplifting.

Om Shanti Om

By all means, a comedy. A real insider comedy poking fun at everything Bollywood. And also chock full of love— familial love, platonic love, romantic love, self love. Men being soft, yearning, humble and devout lovers.

Chakde India

I cannot BEGIN to explain the impact this movie had on me. It was my introduction to female rage. Something in my brain clicked into place watching this. Like Oh. I loved this movie for having a woman be completely inappropriate, bitchy, ambitious, manipulative and still be one of the good guys— an integral part of a TEAM. This is also a movie I will show my children for a lesson in Islamophobia and patriotism. Both my parents lived through violent communal riots (in Mumbai and in Gujarat) and they always insisted I never discuss being Muslim in public. No religious talk. Ever. Avoid anybody who even talks about religion, in fact. And I never understood until this movie. It never occured to me that people would consider you a traitor to your own country based solely on your faith. Also Sharukh Khan looked INSANELY hot in this movie— this is where my daddy issues and taste for hot, older men started.

Veer Zaara

THERE IS A PATERN. THERE IS A PATTERN. And it's men being lovers. Like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HELD A VOW OF SILENCE FOR OVER TWO DECADES DESPITE BEING INNOCENT ONLY TO PROTECT A WOMAN'S DIGNITY? A woman he hadn't even kissed let alone touched. Nobody is doing it like this anymore for real. If there's one thing about me, I will always write the men in my fics to love on this level.

Munna Bhai (all the movies)

This was a comedy. And as all comedies are it was thought provoking. It took a character you could easily poke fun at— some low level goons— and wielded them as weapons against larger issues like corruption and societal expectations. Again, themes of men being silly in love. Men undertaking massive efforts to be with their beloved and to prove themselves worthy and capable of being a better person.

Jab We Met

Love as a major theme. I know Geet was a manic pixie dream girl type of character but it was my first time seeing a woman NOT be shamed for being chatty, gossipy, flighty, intrusive. Well, except for Aditya at first but only because they were enemies to lovers. They were THE bickering, bantering couple. And Aditya?? add this man to the list of lover boys. To escort the woman you love all the way to the man she loves all because you wanna see her happy. And then your heart breaking when she's NOT happy??? And that scene where Aditya admits that Geet saved his life just by being who she is and talking to him. His love for her saved him?!?!?!?! SIGN ME TF UP.

Chillar Party

Now you might ask why there's a bunch of kids in their underwear. But that's the plot. The kids protest on the streets wearing only underwear to protect their neighborhood street dog. It's such an innocent and funny story. And yet if you watch it as an adult, you realise these kids fought a corrupt politician, social apathy and widespread targetted misinformation. A movie I loved for it's community.

Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

I put off watching this movie FOREVER. Because I didn't want to be a basic bitch. But I am, I am a basic bitch. A celebration of love and family. Also another bickering, bantering couple. Poo was iconic, I aspire to be her. And Anjali was iconic too, I wanna be her as well.

Tumhari Sullu

VIDYA BALAN the woman of my dreams, the queen of my heart. Any movie about a middle-aged/older woman breaking away from her cookie-cutter life and societal expectations to snatch her own opportunity?? Inject that shit straight into my veins. Sullu was so cute, adorable and endearing. Her husband loved her and supported her. There was a moment where his frustrations and job got in the way of that but he was always batting on her side.

Lagaan

This was an epic alright. And about community first and foremost. I quote this movie as a meme all the time. But I loved every character in this movie. And the love in this one was good too. They almost tricked us there by pairing the hero with the white girl. But it was the "it's always been you" trope.

English Vinglish

As I've said before, any movie about a middle-aged/older woman breaking away from her cookie-cutter life and societal expectations to snatch her own opportunity?? Inject that shit straight into my veins. I wanna be in my 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and I wanna be Shashi and Sullu.

I won't even go into the honourable mentions but A Wednesday? Rang de Basanti? Taare Zameen Par? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 so many more

A full pressure tag to a few other desi babes ik on here bc i don't wanna be brown alone: @papurgaatika @damneddamsy @bluemusickid @clubsoft

Also my lovelies: @probablyreadinsmut @evolnoomym @salingers @iknowisoundcrazy @joeloverture @romanarose @myownwholewildworld @ohhoneypascal @mushgloomz @kedsandtubesocks @baronessvonglitter @guiltyasdave @ozarkthedog @maiamore

[coraniaid]

Anya was originally conceived of only as a non-recurring antagonist (for Season 3's The Wish). It wasn't planned from the beginning that she'd stick around longer than that, but it just so happened that she got to make a couple of follow-up appearances later that season. She then had her role massively expanded and her character fairly noticeably rewritten for Season 4, at least partly to repurpose her as a replacement on the show for Cordelia Chase, who was leaving for the Angel spin-off.

Cordelia herself is only mentioned again by name on Buffy four times. In Living Conditions (just two episodes after Cordelia last appeared on the show) Willow describes an oddly-acting and possibly 'evil' Buffy's behaviour as "bordering on Cordelia-esque". In Pangs (eight episodes after her last appearance on Buffy) Willow asks a returning Angel in tones of disbelief whether Cordelia is really working for him. In Season 5's Family (twenty-eight episodes after her last appearance) Buffy describes that season's arc villain Glory as being "kinda like Cordelia". And in the same season's Triangle (thirty-three episodes after Cordelia last appeared on Buffy), Anya herself tells Willow that she knows that Cordelia discovering Xander and Willow kissing is the reason Cordelia and Xander broke up.

(This is -- with some notable exceptions -- how the show tended to deal with characters who'd been written out and weren't expected to make any future cameos. Oz only gets mentioned twice after Seth Green appears in Restless, for example, while Jenny is never mentioned again after the First takes on her appearance in Amends. Despite becoming a regular on Angel, Wesley is only mentioned once on Buffy after Season 3, by Faith-as-Buffy in Season 4's Who Are You?. And Faith herself is only mentioned once -- in Season 5's Checkpoint -- over both of the two seasons after her debut that she doesn't appear in. And in Buffy's last two seasons the shows aired on different networks, which presumably meant references between the shows were even more discouraged than before.)

So, all told, it's not a mystery why, even though:

Anya appears in Season 3 and is at least vaguely implied to be hanging around with Cordelia all that year. (Yes, we only actually see them together in The Wish, but practically the first thing Anya says to Willow in Doppelgangland by way of introducing herself is that she knows Cordelia, and that episode aired -- and is presumably set? -- almost three months after Anya first arrived as a new student. Perhaps it was even Cordelia itself who told Anya that Willow was a witch: I'm not sure who else might have done.)

and

After her first appearance, Anya acquires several personality traits that might well remind the casual viewer of Cordelia. (Compare her "strangely literal" nature and difficulty understanding social cues with Cordelia's very literally speaking of her mind in Earshot or quotes like "tact is just not saying true stuff" and "I can take a hint ... what's the hint?"; or compare Anya's often-mentioned love of money with Cordelia's "I like the smell of a little money once in a while"; or compare Anya's suggestion in Season 6 that Buffy should "cash in" on being a Slayer because she's providing "a valuable service to the community" with Cordelia joining Angel Investigations and immediately suggesting that "if we're going to help people, maybe a small charge?"; or compare the fact that they are both inexplicably attracted to Xander Harris.)

... somehow the show never suggests that these are traits Anya might have -- consciously or not -- picked up from her time hanging around with Cordelia Chase, the woman she came to Sunnydale and first became human for.

Instead it either just pretends against all evidence that these have always been aspects of Anya's personality or that these are new traits that she spontaneously acquires in an attempt to become more convincingly human. The idea that Anya spent her first few months as a human socializing with Cordelia Chase and the idea that, as a human, she oten acts quite a bit like Cordelia Chase are just never connected. They can't be: the structure of the show doesn't permit it.

It is kind of weird though, isn't it?

[sleepyjuniper]

You know, I definitely do think you could call what I'm feeling zoochosis. I'm an animal, of flesh. Humans evolved to live as one with nature. And now we're living inside, disconnected from positive interactions with the natural world. And with our own species. I think EVERYONE is feeling it, and coping with it in different ways. Even if we could go outside to feel better, I think a lot of us don't do it because we don't know what there is to do outside anymore. It was easy when we were children because we could just play with other kids on a playground. But adults can't do that, no. That's childish. We're meant to go to coffee shops and movie theaters and flirt I guess. No hanging out in nature, just enjoying it. Even if I wanted to go spend time outside with someone, to feel more like I'm meant to feel, I don't have anyone to hit up to do that with. And I would just be reminded that I don't have community if I went outside and saw other people walking along, holding hands and laughing. Like there's literally nothing I can do. I've tried and everyone is just too busy, or unavailable, or doesn't know how to connect. So I sit inside and go insane

[genderqueerdykes]

it’s unbelievably comforting to know that you’re therian/otherkin as a younger person who’s identified that way for years as well. people like you are ones i look up to for being my most authentic self and you remind me that it’s not a phase and i’m ALLOWED to be who and what i am ^_^

aww thank you! and hey of course, that's why i try to talk about it so often. i've identified as nonhuman since i was a child, but i've been a part of the online nonhuman community since 2010. i first joined the furry community as someone who genuinely identified as their sona, then the otherkin/therian/etc. communities when someone i followed on here came out as a dragon otherkin.

over the years we've realized a few nonhuman identities. we're not all one person so some of these will only apply to some, but we state that we collectively identify as a wolf, coyote, dog, & horse therian, and we have a lot of elf and dragon otherkin in our system, as well as other identities that are less common but important to the individuals who have them! many of us are undead, some are angels and demons.

i instantly became very involved in the community! i became staff on many different forums over the years and tried to help out when and where i could. i was very active under a lot of different usernames due to our DID, but i've tried to interact with others and help people understand that identifying as nonhuman isn't a bad, scary, or dangerous thing. it's not a problem. it's just how that person experiences their life and how they see themselves!

you're not doing anything wrong by identifying as a nonhuman. this belief is held across many cultures, all throughout human history. it's been well documented and recorded over the course of human history on every continent we've lived on and it's not going away any time soon. we are meant to be in nature. we are meant to be around other animals. humans ARE a species of animal- we are not above the animal kingdom, we are a part of it. it's only natural to relate to other animals.

you're perfectly fine being your authentic nonhuman self! i'm glad i can help you feel more comfortable in that. you are genuinely not harming anyone, that is a them problem if they have any issues with it. you are just being yourself! :) take care, stay safe, feel free to stop by again!