#as far as I can tell this is the original

[adjit]

As far as I can tell, here's a link to the artist's shop. Though this is sold out, they seem to be planning to do more runs in the future.

Also to note, these pictures are edited from the original ones, as the crystal actually flips the image on the x and y axis, as shown in this picture (from the shop page):

Still very cool tho!

Credits to @Hakusi_Katei from X/Twitter

[iamnotoriginalphil]

A Textbook Case of Love (Professor!Agatha Harkness x f!Reader)

Synopsis: You're finally graduating but the only person you want to celebrate is missing in action. Perhaps it's time for a big romantic gesture.

Words: 5.5 k

Warnings: Student/teacher relationship, toxic relationship, power imbalance, possessiveness, tattoo, bondage, marking, biting, oral (R giving), fingering (R giving), teasing, swearing, begging, dom!R, sub!Agatha, emotional vulnerability

Tags: @sasheemo @buttercandy16 @chlondykebar @midnight-lestrange @babybeeelle @dontsblameme@grilledcheeseandguavajelly @fuckedupforkhahn @latedawnsearlysunsets92

AN: It's been a whole but I finally managed to write the next part to this series. I have at least one more planned so hopefully I can get that out soonish.

It was the happiest day of your life. You could feel the weight of your parents’ eyes on you as you walked towards the smiling woman. You held out your hand, her palm sliding along yours. Smiling, you turned, a camera going off.

Graduation was a big deal and you were going to milk it for all it was worth.

Your parents had shown up to surprise you that morning, right as you’d been packing up your dorm room. Dragging you away for brunch, they’d wanted to catch up. You, doing your best to dodge questions, had mostly talked about all the research you’d done that year. The shared looks between them suggested they picked up on how evasive you were being and didn’t like it. But you weren’t about to tell them everything you’d been doing that year.

Sitting back down, your eyes scanned the crowd of professors. Your fingers tightened around the curled up piece of paper in your hand.

You’d worked hard, pouring yourself into your final year. Your senior thesis had been a work of art. And the only person you could thank for it hadn’t even bothered to show up.

Walking from Agatha’s that morning, there’d been a spring in your step. You’d been excited, the day finally arriving. After this, there would be no more hiding, no more sneaking around. You could be open about your love for Agatha, could scream it from the rooftops, and no one could do a damned thing about it.

The thought that she wouldn’t be there hadn’t even crossed your mind.

The disappointment settled heavy in your stomach. You knew what it felt like to have that piercing gaze focused solely on you. The weight of it was familiar, comforting due to its origin. Without it, you felt unmoored, like you could disappear into the sky.

You checked out of the rest of the ceremony. More names, more speeches, nothing you cared about. Without the rough voice of Agatha in your ear, none of it mattered. There was only one person you wanted to celebrate with, and you knew you had to make it through dinner with your parents before you could go find her.

“Congratulations, honey,” your dad said as they found you amongst the crowd of new graduates.

“Thanks, Dad,” you said.

Your mom gave you a tight hug, her perfume familiar, bringing up memories of your childhood. It was easy to forget when you were so far from home. You’d thought moving out of state for college would help you spread your wings and grow into the person you were meant to be. You hadn’t considered all the parts of yourself you’d be leaving behind when you did so.

“We’re so proud of you,” your mom said, drawing back.

“Thanks.”

You weren’t sure how to be around them right now. Your stomach was churning with anxiety, your gut telling you something was wrong. Agatha hadn’t said anything the night before, and if she’d been a bit more intense than usual, you hadn’t been complaining. Her bruises still littered your body under your cap and gown. You wanted more.

You followed them back to the car they’d rented, slumping into the back seat like when you’d been a child. You watched Westview pass by as your parents drove, only straightening when you recognised the restaurant you were pulling up in front of.

“You still like Italian, don’t you, honey?” your dad asked, turning to look at you from his place behind the wheel.

“Yeah,” you said, but all you could think about was the last time you’d been there.

And everything that had come after.

It was different from last time, plenty of graduates there with their families to celebrate. You sat at one of the centre tables, so different from the intimate corner you’d holed up in with Agatha. Your knee bobbed, hands caught under your thighs, doing your best not to look over at that corner. You shouldn’t be thinking about that night that changed everything for you. Not while you were there with your parents.

Just the memory sent a throb between your legs.

You looked down at the menu, reading over it. When you glanced up, both of your parents were watching you.

“Everything okay?” you asked.

They shared a glance before your mother leaned forward, her hand clasping yours.

“You’ve felt distant this year,” she said.

“I’ve been busy.” You shrugged, “you know how it is in your senior year.”

“You’ve barely called,” your dad said.

“I told you. I’ve been busy. I graduated top of my class. That doesn’t happen if I kept messing around,” you said.

“We thought, perhaps, you might have been seeing someone,” your mom said, hesitant as if worried about scaring you off.

You tugged your hand out from under hers, your anxiety only making your knee bob harder. Your eyes darted around the restaurant before they returned to your parents.

“The only person I’ve seen with any regularity has been Professor Harkness.” Not technically a lie, “I had too much work to go meeting anyone new.”

“It’s okay if you have been seeing someone, honey,” your dad said.

“Look, Professor Harkness demands a lot from her students. Ask anyone. She has a reputation for being a hard ass. It’s not weird to not have time for anything but studying,” you replied, “I got enough grilling from my friends for not being at every stupid frat party. I don’t need it from you guys too.”

You could play the part of the sullen teenager they remembered from when you last lived with them. Shutting down would only remind them of how stubborn you could be. In order to keep the peace, they’d continue on like everything was fine and they didn’t want to know more.

They’d find out soon enough anyway.

Letting the subject drop, they went back to consulting the menu. You sighed, putting yours down. That same anxiety wasn’t leaving you just because they’d let you slip out of giving answers. All you wanted was to go back home to Agatha and celebrate with her. After all, it was her hard work that got you to this point.

“So what are you thinking you’re going to do now?” your dad asked over his pasta.

“What do you mean?” You prodded at your lasagna, knowing you should eat more, that if Agatha had been beside you it would have been easy to eat.

“Now you have your degree. You know your room is waiting for you back home,” he said.

“Oh. Right. That,” you said.

Truth was, you hadn’t thought about it much. All you knew was there was no chance in hell you were moving back home. Not while Agatha was still in Westview. Your plan extended just as far as Agatha. She was your future. That was all you knew.

“Do you have a job lined up?” your mom asked.

“Not yet.” You pushed some of your food around your plate, “I’m waiting to hear back on some things.”

Namely, what Agatha thought you should do.

“Well, you can wait with us back home. You’ll have no where to go after you move out of your dorm,” your mom said.

“Don’t worry about that. I have a place to stay and it’s better if I stay in town. You never know when you’ll get the call, right?” you replied, “seriously guys, I’ve got this.”

“You’ve worked so hard. You should be allowed to relax now,” your mom said.

“Honey, we’re worried you’re pushing yourself too hard. You’re going to burn yourself out if you don’t take some time to relax,” your dad said.

“You guys practiced this conversation, didn’t you?” You stabbed a piece of pasta, “seriously, I’m fine.”

“You didn’t even come home for Christmas,” your dad said.

“Because I had too much work. I wouldn’t have been any fun if I had,” you said.

“We missed you,” your mum said.

“I missed you guys too. But it was worth it,” you said.

“Top of your class,” your dad said with a small nod of his head. The pride was obvious in his voice.

“So stop worrying about me. I’ve got it all under control,” you said.

They let it drop for the rest of the night. You got the creme brûlée and thought about Agatha with each bite. One day, when your parents weren’t around, you’d taste it from her lips again. You were already dreaming about that day.

Your parents dropped you off at your dorm, your last night there. If you had any say, you wouldn’t be sleeping there. Texting Agatha, you sat on your stripped mattress, a thin single you had no interest in with questionable stains, waiting to hear from her.

You didn’t get a response.

That same anxiety was bubbling away in your gut again. Pacing the room, you stared at the boxes you had packed that day. Four years of your life packed up into a handful of boxes. It seemed so small that way, your life nothing more than the possessions you’d collected over the years. But your life was so much bigger than could be contained in the shoebox of a dorm room you’d been placed in.

Tugging on the sweater you’d worn when you’d left Agatha’s that morning, you snatched up your phone and your keys. A reckless idea had entered your mind. The kind of idea that you thought could end badly, but could end so very well. You were a gambling woman, and you were hoping the pay out would be high on this one.

Later that night, later than was appropriate for a social call, you rang Agatha’s doorbell. The night air had cooled, the wind bitter. You knocked. The house had been dark when you’d shown up, all except for one window. Upstairs, Agatha’s bedroom was bathed in soft light. You knocked again.

“What?” Agatha snarled as she opened the door.

“You weren’t at my graduation today,” you said, “I was very disappointed.”

You pouted, leaning against the doorframe. She growled, stepped back, right into the shadows of the house. Your eyes swept over her. You loved when she wore the robe, the one that clung to her curves and showed off enough skin to make your mouth water.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

“See, I lose my place in the dorms tomorrow. I’m not a student anymore. And I have no where to go,” you said.

“And what am I meant to do about that?” she asked.

“Well, I was hoping you might let me stay with you,” you said, keeping your voice light, “it’s not as if I wasn’t practically living here anyway.”

“And why would I let you do that?” she snarled.

“Because I’ve brought you such a nice present to thank you for being the best professor at the college,” you said, “I would have never done so well if it wasn’t for you.”

“You looking for one last fuck for the road?” she asked, stepping back again.

“You ending things with me?” You tried to make it sound like you didn’t care, but your entire body tensed for the blow of rejection that would undo you.

“You’ll be moving on now. And I have a policy. No letting wanton sluts in when they’ll just disappear on me,” she said.

“I’m not disappearing,” you said, “in fact, I’d quite like to stay as long as you’ll have me.”

“Right,” she scoffed.

“You know, my parents asked me to move back home tonight. I said no. And when they asked me what my plans were for the future I only had one,” you said, “you.”

Her eyes swept over you, lingering for a moment on your face. She shook her head but stepped back again.

“Come on then, pet.”

She turned her back on you, wandering further into the house. You grinned, turning to grab your stuff, leaving most of it in the front entrance to be dealt with when it wasn’t the middle of the night. Agatha had disappeared somewhere into the house in the few minutes you’d managed to keep your eye off her.

You closed and locked the front door, the way you had so many times before. Taking the stairs two at a time, you went hunting. If this was some kind of game you intended to win. And your prize was going to be Agatha.

Turns out, you didn’t have to look far. She was lounging on the bed, her glasses resting on the end of her nose, a book resting in her long fingers. Her legs were crossed at the ankle and when she looked up at you, you froze.

“Why didn’t you come today?” you asked.

That same anxiety was back. Perhaps this was her ending things. Perhaps Rio had been right and your relationship had a deadline you didn’t even realise. Built in, the moment you graduated, the entire thing was over. Agatha could throw you out without a second thought.

Maybe she was done with you.

“Can’t you handle yourself if I’m not constantly with you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I thought we would celebrate together,” you said.

“What’s there to celebrate?” Her smile turned razor sharp, “you graduated. Plenty of people do. You’re nothing special.”

It hurt, her cruelty, but you gritted your teeth and stepped forward.

“I’m special because I’m yours,” you said.

Something shifted in her face. She lent forward, those eyes dragging over your body again, tongue slow as it ran along her lower lip. You shivered, but held your ground. You would stay there as long as she needed.

She rolled her eyes and lent back again, eyes returning to her book.

You waited, being her good girl. Whatever she was thinking, whatever game this was, you were determined to get your prize. She continued ignoring you.

“Don’t you want to see your present?” you asked when the silence grew too long it made you itch.

“If you must,” she said, still not looking up.

Grasping the bottom of the sweater you’d taken from her, you tossed it onto the bed. Her eyes flicked to it then back to her book. Your tank top was next, landing on her foot. She kicked it aside. Your bra landed in her lap.

Her eyes finally dragged up to you. Your teeth sunk into your lower lip as you turned, lifting your arm to show her your ribs. Her sharp inhale was everything you’d hoped it would be.

“Do you like you present?” you asked, doing your best to sound innocent as you asked.

The bed creaked. Fingertips ran over your skin, tracing the letters you’d had inked into your skin. You trembled under her touch.

“Get bored with a pen, did you, pet?” she asked.

“I went and found one of those tattoo parlours open all night. When they asked me who Agatha was, I told them she’s the woman I’m going to spend my life with,” you said, not bothering to tell her that you’d been advised against getting a lover’s name tattooed on your body, “your name will be on me forever because that’s how long I’m going to love you.”

Her fingernails dug into your skin, framing the word you’d had put on your body. It made sense, given she had sunk beneath your skin and was never leaving. She was as much a part of you as your own heart.

“You love me?” she asked, her voice a rasp.

You looked down at her, a hand cupping her cheek, the other tangling in her hair the way you loved to do. Blue eyes swam with something, so beautiful and so heartbreaking. You lent forward until your forehead pressed to hers.

“I do. I love you,” you said.

Her lips pressed to yours, desperate and needy. You bent over her, kissing her back just as desperately, the anxiety finally soothing in your stomach. There was no chance she was ending things when she was dragging you down, her tongue in your mouth, her fingers grasping you hard enough to hurt. You hummed, pushing her back, laying her back on the mattress.

“I’ll be with you forever,” you said before your lips trailed down her throat.

She whimpered, a surprisingly vulnerable sound from her. Your tongue tasted her skin before you sucked on her pulse point. Her head tilted back, giving you more access as her nails scraped down your back.

Your fingers played with the tie of her robe, her body warm beneath you. She made such a soft noise as you dragged your mouth lower, nipping at her collarbone, tongue dipping into the divot between. Her nails dug in to the skin of your back, points of pain only making you pant against her skin.

“What are you doing, kitten?” she asked, voice soft as you laved attention on her body.

“Showing you how much I love you,” you replied, lips brushing skin as you whispered the words, “let me show you. Let me take care of you for once.”

Your eyes met hers. The hesitation was obvious. If there was one thing you knew about Agatha Harkness, it was that she hated giving up control. But all you wanted to do was make her feel good. Prove that she should keep you around forever. That you weren’t going anywhere. That she was yours as much as you were hers. That your name should be inked onto her skin too.

Her fingertips ran over your cheekbone before she nodded. You grinned, lowering your mouth back to her skin as your fingers pulled the knot free. Silk slipped either side of her body, baring her to you. You might have had her sitting on your face the night before, but you would never grow tired of seeing her naked body. She was beautiful, a piece of poetry spread out on the mattress for your eyes only.

You were slow as you dragged your hands up over her ribs, cupping her breasts. She sighed, a soft noise, arching into your touch. You spent so much time there, kissing and licking at her skin. She writhed beneath you, softly mewling. When her hands tried to guide you lower, you caught them.

Her growl as you tied them above her head only made you smile.

“Do you want to tell me why you missed my graduation?” you asked, fingers pinching at her nipples.

She moaned, pressing further into your touch, but not answering your questions. You let it go, wanting to assuage your anxiety by making her cum on your tongue. Further proof that she was yours, completely and utterly.

You sucked a slow hickey into the skin on her hip, feeling her wriggle beneath you. With her tied up, and her consent to take care of her, you were going to take your time with her. You were in control this time. She was going to be moaning your name until she forget any other words.

Your fingers were gentle as the dragged up her legs, finding the soft skin of her inner thigh. Your lips wrapped around one nipple, tongue flicking over it. She huffed, but her body was arching towards you, offering herself so nicely for your touch. You hummed, muffled against her skin, feeling her breath catch.

You grasped her thighs, parting them to slot yourself between them. Hovering over her, you took a moment to gaze on her. Squirming, her eyes were hooded, lips parted, cheeks flushed. Blue eyes watched you, smouldering, and you grinned.

“Do you understand how beautiful you are?” you murmured, thumb digging into the crease of her hip.

Her legs fell further open, welcoming you in, urging you closer. You slid further down her body, lips pressing to soft skin, feeling the way her muscles flexed under you. Your tongue tasted the salt on her skin, revelling in her warmth, in how wonderful it felt to get your mouth on her.

“Relax,” you murmured, “let me take care of you.”

She grumbled, but with your hands stroking over her skin, she began to relax under your touch. You wanted to feel her melt into the mattress, to let you take control, to make her feel the way she made you feel. Safe, taken care of, satiated.

Your fingers slid through her folds, feeling her wetness gathering on your fingertips. Her hips pressed up towards you, a wordless command. With your free hand, you pinned her down, exploring her without giving her quite what she wanted. You were going to make her desperate for you. You might even get her to beg.

That would be fun.

Your finger was slow to circle her clit, watching the way her face flushed, the way her breath stuttered, the way her fingers clenched above her head. There was something so lovely about the way her face contorted in pleasure. You would paint a picture of it, hang it in every room you were in, gaze upon it.

“Pet, stop teasing,” she commanded.

“Uh uh,” you said, “you’re not in charge anymore, Professor Harkness.”

The way her legs tightened around you was interesting.

“You like that, huh? You like being fucked by your student? You like when I turn the tables on you?”

Your lips brushed against the skin of her stomach, feeling the muscles jump.

“Want me to call you Professor Harkness as I’m knuckles deep inside you?” you murmured.

The noise she made was delicious.

“I wish they could all see this,” you said, finger resting at her entrance, “see the formidable Professor Harkness begging to be fucked by her star pupil.”

“I’m not.” Her breath caught, “I’m not begging.”

“Not yet,” you promised.

Your tongue ran through her folds, groaning at her taste. Her hips jumped towards your mouth. Your hands slid up her legs, holding them open, hands grasping hard enough to leave bruises on her pretty pale skin. You loved the thought of your handprints on her skin for anyone to see.

Your tongue circle over her clit. Your name was command, but it was shaky. You ignored it, finger dipping into her entrance. Pressing your tongue against her clit, you let her grind against your face for a moment, just long enough to let her think she’d gotten her way.

Your finger pushed in as you drew away. Your teeth sunk into her inner thigh, soft skin sweet on your lips. Her keening noise was beautiful, a symphony to your ears.

“Do you think they’d get a kick out of this? Watching their professor squirm?” you asked her, “do you think they’d like to know you you’re nothing but a desperate little thing?”

“Shut up,” she growled.

“That doesn’t sound like someone who wants to cum,” you said.

You took your hand from between her legs, using the grip on her legs to keep them open, her hot cunt exposed to your gaze. She glistened in the soft light, so pretty, so beautiful.

“If you want to, beg,” you told her, “or don’t you want this, Professor Harkness?”

She glared at you, blue eyes flashing. You waited, having learnt patience at her hand. She’d taught you plenty of lessons during the last year. Now it was time to show her through a practical demonstration.

“Please,” she said eventually, through gritted teeth, jaw tense.

“Tell me, Professor,” you said, leaning forward again, breath ghosting over her glistening folds, “do you think any of them would find you terrifying after seeing you like this?”

Your lips wrapped around her clit before she could say anything, her sass unnecessary when all you wanted was to ruin her. Your name was sweet on her lips as she moaned, hips bucking up into your mouth. You let her, figuring it was time for her to get a little bit more. Just enough to take the edge off. Just enough to drive her crazy.

Your fingers were slow to push into her. Her whimper was so delicious you wanted to drink it in. You hummed, her legs tightening around your head, thighs trying to clamp down on you. Your free hand pried them open again, giving yourself more room.

“Do you think your students would like to know how pretty you look when you’re all whiney and desperate for me?” you asked, fingers curling inside her.

“Don’t be a brat,” she hissed.

“I bet they’d love to know the great Professor Harkness loves being tied up and fucked by her star pupil. I’m sure they’d enjoy watching you come undone so easily by someone just like them,” you said.

“You’re nothing like them,” she ground out.

“No, because none of them will ever get the chance to touch you like this.” Your palm ground against her clit, “none of them will ever know how sweet you taste.”

“Never,” she gasped.

You curled your fingers again, rewarding her. Your name fell from her lips, a whine unlike anything you’d ever heard from her before. A rush of power went through you, heady and addictive. To have a woman like this desperate for you, letting you do this for her, willing to be yours completely and utterly.

“You’re so beautiful,” you murmured.

Her shape inhale made you you grin against the skin of her hipbone. Your teeth nipped at her, your chuckle lost in the loud moan low in her throat, straining against her restraints. Your lips returned to her clit, sucking gently. Her hips pressed up into your mouth.

You felt as her internal walls began to flutter around your fingers. Curling and twisting your fingers, you sucked harshly until she clamped down on you. You eased her through it, slowing your thrusts until she went limp against the mattress. Your tongue lapped at her, cleaning her up. The soft noise she made, shifting underneath you, was delicious.

You drew back, sitting on your heels as you stared down at her. Her eyes were hooded, a lazy smile on her face as she looked back at you. Crawling up her body, you kissed her, letting her taste herself on your tongue. You were careful as you untied her wrists, gently rubbing at them, helping the blood flow back into her fingers.

“Proud of yourself, pet?” she asked.

You sat beside her, leaning back against the headboard, pulling her body against you. Your fingers played with the ends of her hair, wild and dark and wonderful. Your lips pressed to her forehead.

“Very proud,” you said, “mainly because I’m yours.”

She chuckled, but she pressed closer, bare skin against bare skin. You shimmied out of your shorts, kicking them off the bed. Her legs tangled with yours, half draped over you.

“You were really going to let me walk out and never see you again?” you asked.

“I’m not desperate enough to beg you to stay,” she replied.

“You wouldn’t fight for me?” You were surprised by how much that thought hurt.

“I know how that ends. Everyone leaves me,” she said.

Her face pressed into the crook of your neck, hidden from view. Agatha had never been one to indulge in self pity but you couldn’t ignore the tone of her voice. Your hand stroked down her spine, feeling her wiggle closer.

“I won’t,” you said, “I won’t ever leave you.”

The soft noise she made had your heart squeezing painfully. You tightened your arms around her, wanting to absorb her into your being, not able to get close enough.

“I should have been there today,” she said, lips brushing your skin with every word whispered.

“Yes, you should have,” you said.

“I wanted to be there but…” She emerged to look at you, lifting herself enough to stare right into your eyes, “I didn’t want to watch the moment you realised you got exactly what you wanted from me and had no use for me anymore.”

“That’s never going to happen,” you said.

Her eyes dragged down your body again, focusing on the dark ink on your skin, her name a part of you now. Dragging her fingertip over it, tracing each letter like it was something precious, you watched her tongue drag along her lower lip. You rolled, giving her more access to the tattoo.

“I’m yours completely,” you said, voice soft, “I can’t live without you, Agatha. Please don’t send me away. The only place I want to be is wherever you are.”

With anyone else, it would be too intense of a thing to say, but everything with Agatha was intense. Every moment, every feeling, every sentiment. It was overwhelming, all consuming, and everything you wanted. She was everything you wanted.

“How did I get so lucky to find you?” she asked, voice so full of awe.

“You must have been a very good girl,” you said said, grinning at her.

Her nails dragged over your skin before she pinched you, right beneath your new ink. You laughed, pulling her down onto you. It was muffled against her lips as she kissed you. She climbed onto you, straddling your waist. Her fingers splayed over your ribs, keeping contact with your tattoo as her tongue delved into your mouth.

“I want you here with me,” she whispered against your lips as if it was a confession, one that could not be spoken in the harsh light of day.

Your hands ran up her bare thighs before you gripped her hips. She drew back, her hair a curtain between you and the rest of the world. You gazed up at her, so full of something you couldn’t put into words, burning as bright as the stars and as breathtaking as the coldest winter air. Her hand tightened over your ribs, almost bruising as she stared down at you.

“Then I’m going nowhere,” you said.

You waited for her to assess you, those blue eyes darting over your face as if looking for falsehoods. It wasn’t the first time, her assessing gaze familiar to you. It broke your heart that she was constantly on the lookout for lies, that she had been taught everyone would lie to her, that people wanted to hurt her.

You would make every single one of them feel the pain they’d caused her tenfold.

“You’re sure?” she asked.

Your hands cupped her face, gentle and yet demanding. You wanted her looking at you as you told her what she needed to hear, no hiding behind her hair or behind a book. No deflecting. No ability to brush it off.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. You’re the only thing that matters in the world. Everything else can burn as long as you remain. My life means nothing without you. You’re all I see,” you said.

Her face broke open into something you hadn’t seen before. Hope and longing and something so soft your heart ached. This wasn’t the fierce Professor Harkness you’d heard about, nor the dismissive woman you’d met all those months ago. Gone were the spikes and self defence and sharp tongue. You thought this might be the real woman under the harsh exterior. Someone desperate to be loved but who had been hurt over and over again until her scars were all she could see.

You’d never loved her more.

“I love you,” she breathed out, her face full of wonder and surprise, and a touch of anxiety as if bracing for her words to be what ended your own feelings.

Instead, your ribcage cracked open, your heart growing in ways you hadn’t thought it could. You’d thought she might love you, her actions enough to give you hope, but to hear the words on her own lips ruined you.

Surging up, you captured her lips in a searing kiss. Pouring every emotion in your body into the kiss, you held her close, like she was something precious, and something you were desperate not to lose. She whimpered, pressing closer, this kiss unlike any you’d shared before. You would live in this moment forever if you could.

When she drew back, there was a light to her, a glow you’d never seen before. It was as if something in her had relaxed. You were in awe, unsure how you’d gotten lucky enough to get her attention. You were nothing in comparison to her. And yet somehow, she’d chosen you and she loved you.

You were the luckiest person in the world.

“I hope you know you’re never getting rid of me now, kitten,” she said, lips pulling up into an impish grin.

“Good.” You rolled, flipping her onto her back, hovering over her, “because I’m going nowhere.”

You spent until dawn proving it to her.

[gtgbabie0]

Can I make a request for Ambessa with wife!reader and reader is a few months postpartum and she’s insecure about her figure. Ambessa decides to comfort her and show her how special she really is.

⋆⁺ ✮⋆⁺ Ambessa Medarda x Wife!Reader

Synopsis: {The birth of your child left you with many doubts and your wife proves them all wrong} CW: talks of childbirth, body image issues, themes of postpartum depression, bathing together. AN: I got so carried away with this. oml.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾

The birthing bed was your battlefield as the wife to a fearsome warlord— a fate that had surprisingly brought you more happiness than you had originally anticipated, that was until your waters broke and the contractions started. Then you were cursing Ambessa’s name.

You were prepared for this, your handmaidens spent day and night explaining to you the pain and showing you hand-drawn pictures— your mother had even told you of her own experiences. It was all pointless because you quickly learned that no word or picture could ever even begin to describe the pain of childbirth.

It didn’t get much easier from there. The battle continued even after the birth of a healthy baby boy and girl—oh how grateful your wife was—twins, a strong boy and girl to carry on her name… a miracle. You only wished you could share her joy, but you couldn’t. There was an odd disconnect that had managed to wedge itself between you, your children, and Ambessa.

Your skin didn’t feel your own, hell, your whole life didn’t feel like yours— almost as if you had taken the place of some stranger, a different woman that was not you. That woman was more suited to be a mother, a wife. It was a sickening feeling, one that often left you immobilised in bed.

You didn’t want to face the mirrors, hold your babies, or have your wife look at you, much less touch you—hence why you slept with a pillow stuffed between you both, not wanting to risk it… despite how much you deeply yearned for it, and oh how you really did yearn for her comforting touch.

It was the reason your maid brings you your nightly tea with just enough crushed poppy flowers to knock you out— you preferred to sleep before your wife got back from her duties, although you told your maids differently.

“Leave it on the table.” The words leave you with a sigh, not looking over to her from your place on the sofa— a deep red velvet colour, soft to the touch, your wife only accepts perfection.

“Lady Medarda, surely a simple ginger tea would be better for you?— The pain shouldn’t be lasting this long.” bless her, she sounded so concerned. Of course, your excuse of birthing pains could only last so long, five whole months had passed since— the warmth of summer slowly dwindling away, replaced by a sharp chill that autumn brought.

You shake your head, bringing your fingertips to your temple with a pitiful glint in your eyes, ready to put on a show— then the bedroom door opens and your handmaiden is bowing to Ambessa, whose eyes are fixed onto you, stepping off to the side politely.

“You’re back early.” The words fly from your lips faster than you could even process them and far more harshly than intended, however, the quiver in your voice gives you away. Your false bravado was not lost on Ambessa, that mask you wore did not fool her.

“Leave us.” Her words are sharp, stern and has the maid scurrying off— dress clutched in her hands. You could already hear the gossip she was sure to spread with the other servants.

A sigh escapes you as your eyes flicker over to the flames in the fireplace, watching the embers dance wildly within the hearth— Ambessa’s heavy, golden spear hanging above, displayed proudly, every nick and indent tells a different story. You let your mind wander in hopes she'll drop it.

“Do I need to send for a doctor?” She doesn't. Your wife was a smart woman, she knew you like the back of her hand and could read all your inner thoughts, until recently— now getting a single word out of you was like trying to get blood out of a stone. Instead, she was left with this distance you had managed to put between yourself and her. Ambessa felt it, she just didn’t know how exactly to approach it and it was driving her crazy.

She was a practical woman, fixing her problems with strength, not emotions, this was not her strong suit. But she also did not know defeat.

“No, I am fine.” The lie didn’t sound convincing in the slightest, not even in your own ears— the words make you wince and from the sound of her scoff she didn’t believe you either.

You hated to be the cause of her concern, gods only know how busy the woman already was. Ambessa watches you, studying your movements with slightly narrowed eyes as you tug your shawl over your shoulders— grasping the soft fabric as if it were some sort of protective shield, a lifeline, that you wished desperately to disappear into.

“This is not fine, lie to your handmaidens all you want but do not lie to me.” Her tone is much softer than you deserve, you can’t help but cower away with a look of shame in your eyes— it only triples when she kneels down in front of you, her big, battle-worn hands resting over your knees.

The Ambessa Medarda, a feared warrior, kneeling before you like you were some sort of deity worth praying to… no it didn’t feel right.

The words die on your tongue, getting stuck in the back of your throat tightly— a whimper is the only thing you can let out, such a weak sound, strained with this insecurity that had been eating away at you for months.

“I do not know what it is— just an ache I cannot rid myself of, no matter what I do.” you breathe, dropping your head slightly as your gaze falls to her hands, the way her thumb rubs the inside of your knee. “I bring shame upon this family— upon you.”

Ambessa tuts at your words, pinching your chin between her index finger and thumb. “Shame?— look at me,” your eyes find her own hesitantly. “You are my greatest treasure… my proudest accomplishment.”

“I can’t be— I’m not fit for motherhood, to be your wife. I am weak.”

She bristles, “No flower, you are the furthest thing from weak. Motherhood is no easy feat, but we strengthen each other… you have me. Forever.” her eyes never once straying from your own.

You have only ever heard such loving sincerity from her a handful of times, on the day she asked you to marry her and the first time she had taken your maidenhead— your wedding night, and now. It’s a stern tone that is draped in earnest, so heavy with love, leaving no space for arguments.

Ambessa wouldn’t hear another word of it, of you speaking poorly of yourself— she had taken someone’s tongue after they foolishly insulted you, that wasn’t for nothing, that was out of devotion.

So all you can do is apologise— “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—” but even that she doesn’t want to hear, her lips pressing a soothing kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“No more apologies, no more distance. You have me.” She promises, words whispered against your cheek before she pulls back to admire you with a soft yet firm stare. “Understood?”

“Yes, I understand.” You whisper, leaning into her hand as soon as her rough palm meets your cheek— your chest tightens and your eyes prickle with tears, it had been far too long since you felt her tender touch. With a hum of acknowledgement, she leans forward, still kneeling before you, her hand curving across your jaw to cup the back of your head— her lips meeting your own in a slow kiss, the rough pad of her thumb brushing your tears away.

“Shh my heart, I’m right here.” She soothes, lips brushing along your jaw when you melt further into her— trembling hands resting upon her broad shoulders which she cages within her own big ones as she pulls back to admire you. “I’ll have a bath prepared for us.”

Her words make you tense, something uncomfortable churning within your stomach at the thought. “No, my body has changed— it’s—”

“—It is just as perfect as the night I first had you.”

“No, it’s different.”

“Sweetling, you have brought life into this world. It’s a beautiful change.” She murmurs against your knuckles with an almost reverent gleam in her eyes, one that almost breaks down the defences that you have built up around your fragile heart, almost.

Ambessa can sense your unease, the hesitation— the way you can’t seem to meet her eyes and it destroys her, how had she failed to protect you from everything but this? She brings your palm to rest over her heart, her eyes searching your own. “Trust me with this, let me worship you.” there's a soft question hidden beneath her tone, behind the firmness of what sounds like a demand.

“Just— Just a bath,” you whisper, glossy eyes and strained voice and she nods in response— cupping your face ever so gently as she repeats “Just a bath.” in agreement.

You trust her enough to guide you to your shared bathroom, enough to let her peel your nightgown off with careful hands, fingertips grazing across your body ever so slightly. The comforting scent of rose and honey wisps around you, carrying memories of nights you’ve shared like this and the prospect of being close to her seems a little less daunting as the familiarity warms your heart and the hot water envelops your body.

Ambessa's form engulfs your own as she sits behind you, strong thighs caging either side of you. It was protective, how her hands rub across your shoulders soothingly and the soft whispers of sweet nothings that leave her lips, muffled into the nape of your neck. She wishes to rid you of any self-doubt that had wormed itself into your mind.

Bubbles splay across your chest, your arms wrapped tightly around your knees that you’ve tucked beneath your chin in an attempt to make yourself smaller. “Flower?— relax into me,” her voice breaks you out of your thoughts as she slowly guides you back against her chest, wrapping an arm around your abdomen whilst the other moves to cup your cheek.

The candlelight flickers against your face as you tip your head backwards to look up at her, her thumb wiping away a stray tear that had escaped you. “Forgive me for not noticing your pain sooner,” She whispers, dropping a kiss to your forehead and then another to the tip of your nose.

The warm water laps at your bodies slightly as you move to curl up further into her, wanting to disappear in her embrace. “Just don’t let go,” and with that her arms tighten around your body, leaning to rest her forehead against your own.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. Your place in my heart is yours, no one can take that from you.” You sigh at your words, letting out a teary giggle as she peppers kisses over your face. For the first time in a while, you felt whole, full, in a way you thought you would never feel again, for the time being at least… you savoured every second of it.

Her fingertips trace over the stretch marks left by your pregnancy, letting her lips trail over the dewy skin of your shoulders whispering soft “I love yous,” against you as she washes your hair— smirking at the way you let your guard down for her, how your eyes flutter close and the way sigh and hum in delight as she massages your scalp.

The water felt cleansing in a way, as it trickles down your head and along your back, washing away the months of aches that weighed on top of you. “How does that feel?” She asks, lips brushing along your jaw.

“Good, much better.” The relief in your tone brought immeasurable amounts of satisfaction to her that she couldn’t help but chuckle, happiness blooming through her chest as she replies with a soft. “That’s what I like to hear, my sweet.”

Ambessa vows to herself in that very moment to spend the night and every other night paying homage to the curves and dips of your body, to each stretch mark that maps over your skin until you feel nothing but love— she would put your pieces back together again no matter how jagged the edges were.

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[aandvarchaeology]

You can read a bit more about this amazing axe head here! It's worth noting that it was bought on the art market and thus comes without any context. But judging by the silver, it was definitely dug up from somewhere.

(Btw, the British Museum has an earlier example of a silver inlaid axe here!)

If you want to know why the silver tells me that this axe head was found in the ground and read some nerdery about iron restoration you can find it below!

This is a detail of the blade taken from the second picture. The rust spots and holes are easy to see, as is the pitting around the silverwork. There are a few explanations for that, but the two most important ones are that since silver is far softer than steel (pure silver being at 2.5-3 on the Mohs scale, while steel is at 4-4.5) it wasn't possible to mechanically restore the surface without damaging the silver.

And you may have noticed that the silver doesn't look particularly silver-y. That's because this axe head spent at least some time in the ground where the silver reacted with chloride ions to so called "horn silver" chlorargyrite! Chlorargyrite is softer than normal silver (1-2 on the Mohs scale) and corrossive to lesser metals like iron, making it even harder to preserve in restoration and at the same time contributing to the stronger pitting around the silver inlay.

In addition to the rust and pitting, we also see spots on the blade, that are light grey. These are even more egregious along the top edge, especially near the socket:

These are spots were the old surface was accidentally removed during restoration (can happen very quickly with some artefacts and it's bloody annoying) showing the bare iron/steel. I would assume that they started restoration from the top edge (where the damage is worst) and knew to be a little more careful by the time they reached the blade.

I will have to check with my colleague next week, but I think the straight lines on the blade (marked in green) combined with the extremely flat surface and the sharp edges of the rust pits (marked in red) show that the rust on the blade was removed with a micromotor grinding tool.

While this is useful, especially for particularly hard bits of corrossion, one should stop a few milimetres above the suspected original surface to avoid what happened here: After using the micromotor, the rest of the corrossion needs to be removed with a micro sandblasting unit, but since there was little to no corrossion left after grinding, the sand went too deep and removed the old surface as well in many places.

In conclusion: This axe head is a lovely case study on archaeological conservation as well as being very pretty. I will try to remember to report back next week with any additions my colleague may have and if you have any more questions about archaeological iron restoration or this piece in particular, feel free to hit me up!

~Mod A

Steel and silver axe head, Scandinavian, 11th-12th Century

From the Met Museum

[casscainmainly]

if you had a graph with the x axis being from "doesn't view batman as a father" to "views batman as a father" and y axis being from "doesn't view bruce as a father" to "views bruce as a father", where would you put each batkid?

btw, i love your recent metas <3

This is such an interesting ask!! Here's my rendition of it:

I'm going to add a little reasoning because these are contestable!

Dick: I personally don't think Dick separates Bruce from Batman the way some other Batkids do. Even if he did, Dick has been with Bruce so long, is so steeped in both his vigilante and civilian lives, that he's Bruce's son in any identity. Their bond transcends any 'Bruce vs. Batman' division.

Tim: Similarly, I don't think Tim separates Bruce/Batman, especially since he came into his life knowing both identities. The reason he's lower than Dick is because Bruce wasn't his dad originally; I'm a little biased since I'm now reading Batman: Contagion, but the presence of Jack Drake in much of Tim's tenure as Robin prevents Tim from being as strongly attached to 'Bruce/Batman = dad' as Dick.

Cass: Of course Cass separates Bruce and Batman very clearly, as she does with many people, such as herself and Babs as Oracle. For the early part of their relationship she didn't know Bruce, nor did she care; Batman is her father, Bruce is just the guy Batman happens to be sometimes. (I think this is less true recently, but she still thinks of Batman first and Bruce second).

Damian: Struggled with him because he definitely thinks of Bruce as his dad under any name, but I do think it's Batman that matters to him. He is the 'blood son' but it's the Robin mantle that establishes his relationship to Bruce (Robin, Son of Batman, not Damian, son of Bruce). This may have changed recently with the current Batman and Robin run, but for the majority of Damian's time I think it's fair to say he thought of himself as the son of Batman, not Bruce. (He is not anti Bruce though, which is why he's not that low).

Jason: Jason for sure thinks of Bruce as his dad - the entirety of UtRH wouldn't have happened if Jason didn't believe to his core that Bruce loved him as a son. That belief is so strong that Bruce overshadows Batman, in a way. Jason spars with Batman on the moral front, but his conflict is ultimately always with Bruce, which is the name he consistently uses in UtRH. This is the one I'm least sure about though because I've not read lots of Jason's runs.

Stephanie: Like Cass, Stephanie didn't know Bruce at all, so a lot of her relationship to him is Batman-only. She definitely doesn't think of either Bruce or Batman as a father - her desire for Batman's approval has shades of him being a father-figure, but it never goes as far as an actual desire for a father-daughter relationship. The only reason she's higher than Duke is because of the somewhat complicated way he echoes a father (and she, to Bruce, echoes Jason).

Duke: Duke doesn't really care about Bruce, and he cares about Batman only as a mentor. He basically tells Bruce he's only useful as Batman; even then, Duke doesn't have a super deep emotional attachment to Batman. He also loves Doug, who's still alive (though MIA), and wouldn't replace him in any scenario. He explicitly calls Batman a 'mentor' and 'friend'.

These are just my takes, I'm sure there are other interpretations of every single one of these. It's one of those questions that highly depends on your preferred dynamics for the characters, where canon can go either way. Even if this is horribly incorrect, I hope it was interesting! Thanks for the ask <3.

[londonfog-chan]

Emperor Caracalla x Fem!Reader: Hermâs

A/N: The little lad dances once again.

I got this idea from listening to the soundtrack for Spirit. I’m a fucking horse girl at heart.

I also wanted to write about the true “quirky girl” experience. The majority of the time, the quirky girl isn’t beloved by all. In fact, many find her quite annoying.

I wanted to write about a sheltered, immature girl whose main character syndrome fucks her over when she finds someone that can match her delulu. I wanted to write a story where the reader is genuinely as stupid and naive, as well as childish, as the moron twins are.

Sometimes, we need a stupid reader.

Summary: Was this truly happening? Have the gods at last acknowledged your existence as the main character of your childhood narrative?

Warnings: Caracalla being a creep, period accurate misogyny, mentions of marrying off daughters to old men, Geta plotting evil, slight smutty elements

Credits: massive shoutout to @writhingg and @rxqueenotd for beta reading my clown shoes writing, as well as dealing with me screaming about my Shayla.

Dividers by: @strangergraphics-archive

You found yourself groaning awake in your bed the morning after your sojourn in the stables.

Despite the consistent treatments of echinacea salve and rendered animal fat, the large bruise on your thigh still stung and bled through the linens— your father’s new war stallion was not one to be trifled with. Whereas you had intended to capture the hearts of the handsome stable hands by taming the horse, your poor planning and recklessness had almost killed you.

The stallion had been a gift— war spoil— from a distant land far to the east. The animal was a beautiful golden buckskin with singed brown legs and dark mane; for a moment, you mistook him for one of the golden horses that pulled Sol’s chariot across the sky. One could imagine the distinct markings as telling a story of his divine origin.

Perhaps the fiery rays of the sun singed his legs, mane and tail, and maybe the light bleached his hide— just as it tended to wash out the dyed colors of forgotten laundry hanging on a line.

He was beautiful.

So different from the broken ones you had been able to ride bareback as a small child, you naively thought all this poor creature needed to be tamed was a tender hand. Someone who understood his divine origin, and respected him for it. Only heroes in your childhood fairytales could tame such a beast, and you fancied yourself to be of their rank.

Unfortunately, your status as a chosen one was called into question. The animal was still half possessed by the wilds, and the scent of the working mares around him drove him into a lovesick madness. You jumped without thinking onto his back, and the animal had tried everything in his power to throw you. Both of you went down when he reared, and landed on your sides when the horse lost footing in the arena.

Instead of a potential stable hand suitor rushing to your side to help, your father corralled the stallion, and it was Mother Lucilla who appeared with her maid Leta when she heard your cries of agony. Leta scolded you with a clicking of her tongue as she hauled you up, and your mother’s deep contralto barked out as she gave you a verbal lashing.

“What were you thinking?! Moronic child! Preposterous piss-ant! Behaving as though I’ve never taught you sense! You could have broken your neck, you could have been killed! Foolishness!”

While you were carted back to the house in a lectus, you could hear the young stable hands laughing at your idiocy. Doubled over, they slapped at their bare knees and mimicked your cries and moans of pain in high pitched voices. Baiting, ugly, almost sexual sounding cries, they laughed and hooted until chastised back into their duties by your father’s hard gaze.

The old stable master had yet again approached your father, begging Acacius to do something about these repeated infractions.

“General! With all due respect, your daughter is a nuisance, a menace to my animals and to society! The horse may be ruined because of her stupidity.”

“She is only a child…”

“Does she not count nineteen years, General?! She is more than old enough to be wed, certainly old enough to know better. Perhaps it would do her some good to marry a man of advanced age and wisdom, surely he would straighten out her insolence with a sound beating!”

Even though the war horses were your favorite creatures in all the land, never again would you enter your father’s stables. Far too much embarrassment had cowed you, and you feared that if you made just one more misstep with his animals, that this time your father really would punish you rather than make excuses. Acacius had been cross this time, inflexible with your punishment. Under threat of a good thrashing by your mother, you were not to leave the domus, nor were you allowed to breach even the threshold of the atrium for any excuse. Never in your life had you seen your father so angry…

For a moment you were afraid. Afraid that this time, he would listen to the advice of those he trusted, and ship you off to some shriveled old man who would break your spirit.

You stayed put in your bed as your mother and her maid bathed your wounds and stood by as you recovered. When you began to grow restless, your impotent begging for mercy from hateful Mother Lucilla earned you a few moments alone in the hortus.

You loved the hortus. It was a grand design of your late mother’s creation, consisting entirely of things which were either medicinal or able to be used in various dishes. This time of the year it would be awash with a rainbow of perfumed shrubbery; the marigolds and roses would be in bloom with the purple lavender, interspersed liberally with chamomile and pansy, and you could preoccupy yourself with endlessly plucking blossoms to savor the taste. The peppery marigolds and aromatic rose petals were the taste of summer, a comfort whenever you were distressed.

This task could be accomplished alone, leaving you to ruminate on your embarrassment. Settling against a marble bench near the laurel tree, you lay reclined, with legs splayed on either side of the seat as you chewed the petals on a marigold blossom.

There was no one to stop you. Lucilla’s impatience and eye for meticulous detail were soon distracted by matters of the home. With strict instruction to stay put until she came to fetch you, she departed to attend her responsibilities among the servants in preparation for Acacius’s departure. There was food to be purchased and stored beforehand, monetary affairs to settle, as well as a thousand different things to consider for the duration of the General’s campaign. Certainly no time to devote fully to a rambunctious youth who paced the length of the gardens, limping the entire way.

You could hardly imagine it. In a week’s time, your father would be gone for nearly half a year…

The thought was almost frightening and would have put you in your sickbed, had not you already gone to great lengths to harden your heart. This was nothing at all new. Acacius had left often before when you were young, hence why he’d married Lucilla. The marriage was one of mutual benefit: you would have someone to care for you besides your late mother’s selected wet nurse, and Lucilla would have a child of her own to love and raise, a comfor to her heart for the one she’d lost.

You loved Lucilla. But the thought of losing your father, your last biological connection, and being left alone in the world still frightened you. There was always a chance that this would be the one time Acacius wouldn’t come back— and you wished that the emperors would stop sending your father away.

When Acacius left the domus, the mood of the home became sullen. Prayer was ceaselessly carried out in the lararium. Tithes, incense, and blood libations offered to the gods were overseen by your mother, and she could be gone for hours at a time at temple while you stayed behind in your cubiculum.

When at last you tired of eating flowers, you began carelessly scattering blood red rose petals into your mother’s font filled with carp while asking questions of Venus. You were imagining her responses, looking for her answers taking shape in the patterns the petals made in the water, when you heard mad giggling from behind a pillar towards the domus’ portico.

Whipping around, you looked for the source, eyes widening at the unfamiliar sound.

The giggle increased, and you could see wine colored silken damask dart behind a marble column.

What in the name of the gods was that?!

Nymph? Genius loci? One of the marble gods from the lararium— a statuette— come to life to play with you? You weren’t sure, but your heart was racing, breathing staccato as you crept closer to find out.

The scraping of leather sandals against marble could be heard when you approached. Heavy footed and a little clumsy: the perpetrator moved opposite you. You veered to the left, he to the right.

You saw a flash of hair the color of sunset. As well as the smallest glimpse of blue-gray eyes.

Grinning at the game, you decided to go for a feint. The two of you circled the pillar for a time, the high pitched giggling increasing. The giggle drowned out the sound your footsteps made when you doubled back around the pillar, laying hands on the shoulders of the intruder.

“Caught you!” You sing-songed.

He screeched, his ringed hands covering his face, and you both toppled out of the portico into the grass.

“I caught you!” You cried out again, as you leaned down to pull his hands away from his flushed face.

“You did not! Liar! I was hunting you for sport.” Exclaimed the intruder.

“You aren’t supposed to giggle when chasing your quarry.” You smiled, finally yanking his wrists apart and holding them.

“Liar! You lie! No you didn’t!”

You loved the way the man’s face turned rose pink across pock marked cheeks, his aquiline nose scrunching in anger.

“The laughter was a tactoc… um… A tac… it was an idea of my own design to catch you unawares!”

“Fool!” You smiled, keeping his wrists in a secured hold.

Quickly you rolled off of the interloper when he attempted to knee you between your legs, not knowing who he was or what he was doing snooping in the hortus. He must have been some sort of benevolent spirit sent by the gods. Perhaps even one in disguise, for he was certainly dressed in such opulent finery. Wine colored damask silk with golden zardozi embroidery made his toga picta, with gems of all size and color sewn into the fabric. They caught the sunlight, and the pinpricks of color reflected against your skin.

“You look as if the gods laid your gold and jewels across your neck themselves.” You whistled.

The intruder’s movements were feminine, almost demure. So unlike the more burly movements of generals, or the confident strides of the stable hands. As he sat cross legged, the sound made by the cuffs at his wrists clattering against the gems was captivating. Golden discs the size of libum hung from his ears and chimed with his movements as well.

“You dress like a nymph.” He murmured.

Pert, pink lips parted to allow his tongue to lick across, his smile revealing a single shimmering gold incisor. Surely he must be something otherworldly… you’d never seen someone with a golden tooth before.

“Tell me, nymph, have I stumbled into your secret grove?” He asked.

“No.” You were tickled at the insinuation, “I am no nymph. This is my father’s garden.”

“Your father? That’s not so, this is General Acacius’s garden!”

“General Acacius is my father.”

The intruder shook his head in vehement denial.

“Liar! Lady Lucilla counts forty nine years, and I would have known if she had birthed a child!”

“She is not my blood mother. I counted only three years when my father married her.” You responded, flicking off a half chewed petal from your chin.

Although you knew stories of wicked stepmothers, Lucilla had managed to break the molded stereotype. The first time your father left you alone with her, you bawled like an infant. The good lady had not punished you for your insolence, instead she swept you into her arms and showered your forehead with a thousand kisses.

She was a doting mother, your true mother, the one not of womb but of the heart; who held you and cared for you even when you were insolent.

“And your mother allows you to romp wild in your father’s garden?! To dress like a brothel whore, entertaining strange men?”

The stranger let forth a high pitched giggle, one that made you laugh with him. It was easy to feel inadequate, particularly in the face of such opulence and finery as he wore. The privacy of the garden allowed for leniency in your dress. You had wandered out of your cubiculum in a shrunken, thin, faded green stola that gave a clear view of your bandaged thigh and leg. A mismatched pale pink palla was slung carelessly around your shoulders, and you had long since abandoned your worn out calfskin sandals somewhere in the shrubbery.

“No! I dress like this because I should do as I wish in my own domus. And besides, what would a strange man be doing in my father’s garden to begin with?” You asked, “We were not told of visitors coming.”

“Not all visitors have to announce themselves.” He said haughtily, “Certainly not one as important as myself!”

A fist pounded against his chest in an intimidating boom, the sound reminiscent of a drum.

“Important?” You asked, cocking your head to the side, “Are you a messenger of some sort?”

Your nursemaid and her chatterbox daughter often told you stories of such divine messengers. Half asleep with daydreaming, you would sit at your window as your nurse embroidered crisp linens with geometric patterns, telling stories about Mercury— Hermâs she called him, in the language of the Hellenes— and his wily ways of bestowing divine fortunes and boons upon unsuspecting persons.

“Perhaps I am— a god’s messenger— in my divine disguise…!” exclaimed your stranger.

Your eyes were sparkling. Innocent and sweet.

“Truly?” You asked, crawling to him on all fours. Blissfully unaware of the sensuality in such a movement.

“Indeed. I am a bearer, a messenger, sent by Jupiter himself.” He said, his eyes trained lower on your body, “And I come bearing a secret, strictly for the young flower that hides in her father’s garden.”

“What message have you come to give me?” You asked.

“This divine message is for your ear alone.” He said, his voice lowering to a conspirator’s whisper, “Keep it secret, keep it safe. The gods have deemed you worthy of a special gift, but should you spoil the secret, they will take it away and rain down lighting from the west upon your house!”

“How wonderful!” You exclaimed, your excitement masking the fear of the stranger’s thinly veiled curse, “I’ve never had a message of my very own before!”

“Well then, prepare to be blessed, sweet one. For this message is for your ears alone… Come to my knee, let me whisper it to you.”

You sat upon his lap as he beckoned, nodding enthusiastically and sighing, holding both hands to your cheeks. The stranger leaned closer, cupping his hands over your ear as his lips grazed the shell.

“The gods have great plans for you.” He breathed.

A gasp of delight escaped you, enjoying the fact that your mystery messenger was so close. Whispering sweetness into your ear.

“The gods have told me you are to be given everything your heart desires, my beautiful nymph.” He said, “You will be the envy of all: walking marbled halls while draped in damask silks, vibrant jewels, and gossamer. Your name whispered in reverent prayer upon the tongue of the thousands who will see you in the imperator’s box at the colosseum-…”

“How would this be possible?” You interrupted softly, “I’ve never been outside of these walls, let alone in the palace.”

“You dare to question your divine messenger?! Do not underestimate the might of the gods, nymph. They can make anything so.”

He held your chin in his hand, the softness of his fingertips contrasting the tight grip he maintained, as if expecting you to try and get away.

“They can elevate you to a princess— no! To an empress, if they so desire. The gods wish to use you as their instrument, and they desire to give you everything you could ever want. Money, luxury, power, wine, sexual pleasure…”

“And… and how soon would this happen?” You asked softly.

“Very soon, my sweet one. Your time will come on the first day of the month of Juno, matter of fact.”

It felt so impossibly far away. Too far to even consider. But the fact that such an exciting blessing was to be bestowed during the month of weddings eluded you.

You bounced in excitement on his lap, his hands immediately reaching out to hold your hips steady. Hissing at the pain as he pressed your bruise, you attempted to re-adjust yourself when you felt something press against your inner thigh.

“What in the name of the gods is that?! It… it feels as though you’ve a dagger strapped to your leg.” You said, grinding your thigh against the protrusion.

The messenger froze, and his cheeks turned crimson. A large, impish grin spread from ear to ear, catlike, as if he was preparing to steal a morsel.

“Undo the belt at my tunic, and find out what it may be.” He said, breathless, a perverse look in his eye.

With an impatient huff, you almost rent the damask fabric of his robes in two, demanding that your messenger help you…

But the calling of your mother interrupted the overwhelming need to see what he had strapped to his leg.

“Oh…!” You sighed, a puff of breath escaping past your lips, “I have to go. I’m sorry, but thank you! Thank you for bringing me this message! Tell the gods I will accept this blessing and that I am most thankful to them, and to the messenger who told this to me!”

Before the messenger could protest, you quickly kissed both of his cheeks, scrambling to your feet as you ran off towards the house. As you approached your mother, running breathlessly up to her, you noticed something odd. It appeared as though her heart was racing, almost as if Lucilla was agitated

“What is it, mother?” You asked, out of breath.

Servants were darting every which way, making preparations to feed their guests and make the house presentable. Leta— your mother’s servant— was ordering the others to set the domus to rights, and you were shocked when Lucilla glowered at your unkempt visage.

“What have you been doing?!” Lucilla exclaimed, brushing leaves and petals off your stola, “I allowed you to take a walk, not roll in the shrubbery— is this a stain?!”

“What is this fuss mother…?” You attempted, but your words were stopped by Leta turning your head to look at you.

“My lady, shall I clean your daughter and dress her in the damask?” Asked the handmaiden.

“Yes, quickly! Make sure she is presentable.”

“What’s going on?!” You squeaked, both women taking you by an arm and leading you away like a prisoner to your cubiculum.

“We have been… graced, by the presence of the twin imperators—…”

“THE EMPERORS?!”

“Hush! Yes, the imperators, my darling. You will not speak out of turn again. You will smile and say little more than a polite greeting, after which we shall keep you in your cubiculum, and pray to the gods that you are spared from the lechery of men…”

Lucilla gave you no room to fret, nor to protest. She instead lead you away, to dress you in her armor of modest silk layers and a thick palla.

All the while, you could not stop thinking of the messenger’s promises.

Luxury…

Wine…

Sexual pleasure…

Unannounced guests and the multitude of problems they brought with them hardly made an impression upon your mind, not when there were such wonderful boons coming your way. All divinely ordained, draped like a zardozi embroidered sheet over the hidden evils of the machinations at hand.

In your ignorance, you believed in the lies of the powerful. Blindly trusting in your place as the chosen of the gods, and feeling the least bit better than at last, your worthiness was recognized.

“Caracalla, what in the name of the gods are you doing…?”

The stern tone of his brother, Geta, interrupted his moment of thoughtfulness as Caracalla watched his nymph run back to the house. His brother was scheming, his giggling increasing to a fever pitch, and Geta raised an eyebrow as Caracalla pointed to the home.

“Enjoying the touch and warmth of a beautiful nymph.” Caracalla beamed.

“… a nymph…” Geta deadpanned.

“Indeed. Simple and pure, with a supple breast-…”

“There are no nymphs in a general’s garden.”

“There are!” Caracalla argued.

“You are mistaken. For I only saw a pauper run from you. What have I told you of infecting the inferiors of other men’s houses? You will deplete Rome of slaves with your appetites.” Geta groused.

“This one was no slave! She is Lucilla’s daughter.” Caracalla snapped.

“The general and Lucilla have no daughters.” Geta said.

“Oh but they do, brother! Acacius hides this charming rose in his garden, away from the eyes of men.”

“Is not Lucilla past the age of childbearing?”

“His seed must have overcome that obstacle.” Cackled Caracalla, “For he has quite the lovely young spawn. Very innocent, and eager to believe every word from my lips.”

“What schemes do you invent in that empty head of yours…?” Geta asked, although he knew the answer already. He could see Caracalla’s maddened mind already concocting the most convoluted, outrageous ideas; the grey blue of his iris overtaken by dilating black pupils.

“Do not tell me…” Geta grinned wickedly.

“You know me so well.” Caracalla smiled, “It is a simple thing, really. Turning nymphs into empresses…”

Geta laughed out loud at his brother’s plotting.

“And how much would you ask for her?”

“Two million denarii!”

“Charity, brother, charity...” Geta laughed, “Acacius is a general after all, not a nobleman. Keep your dowry request under one hundred thousand denarii, or you shall never have her.”

“Only one hundred thousand?!”

“Yes, brother. To be paid in coin, land, or flesh, in the customary three years time-… Well… No, no. We may extend the dowry installments to five. After all, we are sending him away to fight your campaign in Numidia. He will need some time. You’ll want to wed her and bed her before he leaves as well.”

“I would have preferred the two million…” pouted Caracalla.

“Whatever for? The money is of little consequence. You would only piss away two million on whores, and her father would sooner give her away to someone else. This conquest will be far more simple, exercise your power and will it so. I shall give my blessing as the arrangement is not without benefits.”

When Caracalla’s feverish mind could not connect the dots, Geta prompted him.

“She is Lucilla’s legitimate heir. Marry her daughter, and you secure not only the title, but a closer position to the good lady herself… Slake your thirst for flesh with both this nubile creature’s affections, and with the attentions of her comely mother as well.”

[brotherwtf]

How about Gale overhearing John talking about him to someone? (with positive outcome)

oooo now this is a very interesting prompt, thanks anon!!

decided to basically mash up all of my fave clegan scenes into one big rainbow scene, I hope you guys enjoy :))

----

John often ran his mouth, both sober and with a drink in him, but the stories always seemed to flow more with the flow of liquor into his system. Always bragging, always galavanting about someone or something to any ear that would listen, especially if it was about his favorite subject, Gale Cleven.

Exaggerating stories until the Major seemed more myth than man, talking to anyone who would listen about all of their escapades, good and bad.

And John would do it no matter if the man himself was there or not, and often did it despite Gale's best wishes.

But even now, as Gale sits on the edge of the dance floor, he can hear John's loud and unabashed laugh as he starts to weave another tale for the poor dames he has coerced. Gale noticed the slightly tense smiles of a woman who was originally only interested in getting beneath John's uniform now being blathered at by a Major far drunker than she expected.

"Nah but my buddy, Buck, here, he don't like sports. Not team sports anyway, likes boxing, 'test of manhood' or whatever the fuck that means," John says, eyes lazy as he points jovially back at Gale, recalling the night Curt lay an RAF pilot on the ground with a singular jab. Gale couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"Was gonna slug that RAF pilot himself the nasty fucker. Ah, he had it coming, don't you worry girls. Buck woulda knocked him straight on his British ass I just know it, there's nothing our Buck can't do, can probably take on the whole Luftwaffe by himself, all engines feathered. Hey, Buck!" John says, turning back towards Gale with loose limbs and gesturing for him to stand next to him.

Usually, Gale would be content to sit on the sidelines and watch John act a fool, but John was gesturing so heavily that it felt like he had a string attached to Gale's chest, pulling him over with just a beckon. Even when Gale puts himself right in the crook of John's body, right where he seemed to fit, John so easily puts his arm around Gale's shoulder.

"Tell em, No-Engine Cleven, nah I'll tell em, he's the best damn pilot in the 100th, hell, maybe even the whole air force, my Buck here is just too good, I wish I could fly half as good as him," John says, leaning his weight into Gale's, leaning so that his face is dangerously close to his.

Gale feels warmth bloom in his stomach but he just lets himself roll his eyes, wrapping a stabilizing arm around John's waist to prevent him from toppling over, giving the women a friendly yet tight smile.

"Easy there, Major, now I think it's best we turn in for the night. It was lovely meeting you ladies," Gale says, keeping his voice clipped and polite despite hearing the girls murmurs of how drunk John seemed to be.

The cool of the English night hits Gale's hot cheeks as soon as he drags John out of the officers club, hiding his tight smile into the night.

"Don't gotta go bragging on me, Bucky, I can hail my own victories," Gale says, breath misting in the air.

John smiles at him, swaying dangerously into Gale as they walk clumsily back to the barracks.

"It's all true, my love, someone's gotta say it and it might as well be me," John says, planting a wet smacking kiss to Gale's cheek.

Gale really should be more careful, but he seems to be getting drunk just on John's warmth and turns his head to press a careful kiss to John's lips, one that's far too slow for John's liking.

"It's my pleasure, Gale, you're my favorite thing to talk about," John says, a rogue hand coming up to squeeze Gale's cheeks and bring him in for another kiss, not being able to help the smile that spreads across both of their faces.

[crime-scene-psychic]

I honestly think that the Nolan Batman trilogy was the best and worst thing to happen to the Batman franchise, because on one hand, it was the first live-action instance of trying to make Batman more gritty and serious (because while the Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney movies took the story much more seriously than the 60s television show, they were still goofy at times, which is why I honestly think they're the best rendition of Batman, because they were able to balance silliness with seriousness, which is what Batman is all about, but that's obviously an entirely different thesis) which then allowed for more people to take comic book movies serious, consequently leading to the rise of the DCEU and, obviously, the MCU (we would not have the MCU today and the actual good movies that came out of it without Nolan's trilogy, there's simply no argument there).

However, the Nolan trilogy also unfortunately made "dark, gritty Batman" the norm, meaning that once anyone tries to actually have some fun with Batman, they immediately get shit on by comic book dude bros. It also created the most annoying characterization of the Joker that everyone has been trying to replicate since and no one will be able to replicate, because they simply do not understand the character (I honest to God think the closest live-action actor who has ever made a Joker character work besider Heath Ledger was Cameron Monaghan in the Gotham television show, and he wasn't even really Joker??? but at least he didn't make it everyone else's problem and was a good mix of goofy and psychotic, not just psychotic) and will never be Heath Ledger (but they don't stop trying much to my forever annoyment).

And while I can recognize the cultural and significant impact on the comic and film community that Nolan's trilogy had, it is still by far my least favorite adaptation because of how serious it takes itself (and of course, the racism. The racism is actually the bigger one for me. Fuck Christopher Nolan for that. Ra's al Ghul is NOT a white man just because you want a plot twist, and you CANNOT just erase Bane being mixed race because you fucking FEEL LIKE IT because him being mixed race is extremely relevant to his origin). Batman has had serious moments in the comics, don't get me wrong, and I know things must evolve and change over time and that I cannot expect an 80 year old character to not be further developed throughout the decades, but it almost feels as if Nolan and Goyer (the writer) read a Sparks Notes version of the history of Batman, cracked their knuckles, and said "yeah, I think I got it."

Spoiler alert: they did not get it.

When I watch the Nolan trilogy (which I haven't in quite some time and I really don't want to, even to prove a point to people on the Internet) I notice how uninspired it feels, story-wise. While the action and cinematography is excellent, the story is lacking for me, and when you're telling a story like Batman, that has decades of content, you cannot just forgo storytelling for cool special effects.

I'd much rather watch a Batman adaptation that has the shittiest effects known to man with a writer who whole-heartily cares for the characters they're writing and has taken time to research. And that's honestly one of the biggest problems the comic book film industry is having now, both DC and Marvel. They're not hiring people who actually care about these characters to write them and they're focusing much more at appealing to everyone they can instead of who the movies should be made for: fans.

You're gonna have such a harder time convincing my mom, a woman who only cares about Wonder Woman, to watch the new Captain America film than you would someone who has read the Sam Wilson Cap comic run. And while this entire issue stems from the fact that the film industry is just that, an industry, and has become less about filmmakers making art and more-so how much money investors and producers can get out of ticket sales, it is still infuriating to see franchises you care deeply about be ruined by guys just there to cash their paychecks and be done with it.

And really, the film industry as we know it needs to be fucking demolished from the inside out, but that will never happen and now we're a bit off-topic. So, back to Batman.

I think another issue I have with newer live-action Batman adaptations is that they choose to forgo a VERY IMPORTANT character when it comes to Batman/Bruce Wayne's evolution as a character and story line.

Robin.

Since whatever the fuck the casting of Chris O'Donnell in 1995 was (why was he, like, a grown man?), people have been afraid to touch a live-action Dick Grayson with a six-foot pole (besides Titans, which I'm gonna get to in a sec). Which is ridiculous, because he is, like I said, an insanely important character when it comes to showing the growth Bruce Wayne goes through.

Bruce Wayne becomes Batman because he is so angry about his parent's deaths and the corruption of Gotham that he doesn't know what else to do. All the money in the world cannot change things for the better, his own father tried and died for his troubles, and he is left with no other option. Bruce Wayne works during the day to fight corruption via charity and his company, Batman works during the night and is able to do what Bruce Wayne can't (beating the shit out of people, mainly). The two are separate sides of the same coin.

And despite this seeming like a good arrangement, it's pretty obvious in most adaptations (at least they get THAT right) that beating the shit out of people in back alleys is not a good replacement for therapy. You're able to see the toll being Batman has on Bruce. He quickly becomes more occupied with being a vigilante than being himself. Bruce needs something to break through this internal struggle and help him balance both lives.

And so a boy named Dick Grayson comes along.

Dick's so important (and so are the other Robins, of course, but Dick being the first means I have to talk about him a bit more) because he forced Bruce to get his shit together. Here's a boy who's about the same age Bruce was when his parents died, who also just saw his parents killed in front of him, and is so full of rage he has no idea what to do. Sounds familiar...

Bruce is able to help himself by helping Dick. He gives him an outlet to vent his anger and frustrations while also looking out for him in the best way he can. While there are many issues with how Robin comes to be in various comic runs (and if this was real life it would be fucking ridiculous) Dick becoming Robin is extremely important. If he hadn't been taken in by Bruce Wayne, if he'd been allowed to let that anger continue to bubble up inside of him, he probably would have killed Tony Zucco and that would have been enough to set Dick down a terrible path he might not recover from.

The same goes for Bruce. If he were to set out and kill the person who shot his parents, he wouldn't be a hero anymore because that single event would shatter the entire point of Batman, which is that he is not meant to decide who lives and dies. If he were, how would he be any different than all the villains in Gotham that he fights as Batman? How would he be better than the corrupt businessman and politicians that he has to battle as Bruce Wayne? He wouldn't.

Batman needs Robin and Robin needs Batman, because they are yin and yang. Light within darkness, darkness within light. You cannot separate these characters and still tell an accurate story, it's impossible. I think that's a huge issue Nolan's movies have, on top of many others. You cannot accurately present to me a Batman story if there is no Robin, just as you couldn't give me a Robin story without Batman.

Every Robin is so important to how Bruce Wayne as a character is developed, and disregarding this as a creator is not only disrespectful to the character, it misses the entire point. I refuse to take your adaptation of Batman seriously if you can't figure out how important Robin is. He isn't just some kid sidekick, he isn't an optional side character, he is what makes Batman human. You cannot have gritty, Neo-noir Batman and forgo Robin just because you see him as the sidekick in tights. When Batman was silly and took itself less seriously, sure, there wasn't a lot to Robin nor Batman's troubling pasts. But now that you want to deep dive into Bruce Wayne's psyche and pick apart what makes him the way he is you wanna throw in the towel and erase the part that humanizes him? Fuck. You.

You can't make a complex Bruce Wayne and take away parts that help audiences understand his complexities, that's fucking STUPID!

Titans, for all its faults and problems, will always have my gratitude as it had the fucking balls to give, without a doubt, the best and most rounded live-action adaptation of Dick Grayson we have ever seen. Titans introduces Dick at a very important and rocky time in his character arch: him leaving Bruce.

If you're not in the know, there's a falling out between Bruce and Dick that's been written a couple different ways over the years, but all comes down to Dick being "fired" from being Robin and leaving Gotham. This is a bit of a newer story line in comparison to how long the character of Dick Grayson has been around, and eventually leads to Dick becoming independent from Bruce, signalling his evolution from "side kick" to his own hero, Nightwing. However, there's issues with Dick having to give up the Robin mantel, because it's something that is whole-heartily Dick Grayson. Robin wasn't something Bruce Wayne came up with, it was the nickname his parents gave to him. Even the colors are his, those were the colors of the Flying Graysons' uniforms. Robin is much more than just a vigilante alter-ego to Dick, it is the last link he has to his past and his parents. So when this is taken away from him and given to another, this causes a huge internal struggle for Dick, as he has to deal with the anger he now has for Bruce, a man he originally looked up to and idolized. This is Dick seeing how wrong it was for Bruce to do some of the things he did to Dick, despite at the time those choices being what both needed.

The way Titans is able to portray this extremely delicate time in Dick's story line in a way that not only makes sense for his character, but also allows for growth is really admirable. Like I said, the show isn't perfect by any means (can I PLEASE get a Romani actor to play Dick PLEASE) but it's the first time I feel that the character is wholeheartedly taken serious in a live-action setting. You can tell the writers have a better idea about how the characters should interact in a live-action setting and while some choices are questionable to me, the heart is there.

Nolan's movies in comparison feel soulless and devoid of all creativity and love. He does not care about these characters, no matter how much he tries to make you think that, and he never will. Christopher Nolan, you will NEVER convince me that you give two shits about Bruce Wayne. And if you, the director, can't bother to care, why should the audience? Why should I care about your adaptation if you can't even be bothered to put an ounce of individuality into it?

With Matt Reeves' Batman films underway, things are getting worse again. For a while, we only had to deal with the shitty Joker adaptations that tried to replicate Ledger's Joker, but with the Reeves Batman movies, the film bros are making themselves known again. I remember when the new design for the Riddler dropped and I said it was shit and people on Twitter and YouTube got SO PISSY at me and told me I just don't understand Batman and that I'm childish for enjoying the designs for Gotham Riddler/ Batman Forever Riddler and whatever and that I'm stupid, which none of those things are true, I hate to be confident in anything, but I think I know more about Batman than you do, Twitter troll.

The suit sucked and the character sucked. They just created a new character but gave him the Riddler's name. That's NOT the Riddler. That's honestly closer to Hush than Riddler, so just... do that? But of course, less people know about Hush than Riddler, and you're not trying to make a film for fans, you're trying to make money, so why would you ever be so silly as to do that! I'm not gonna talk to much about the new Riddler, just because it's super old news and it's not the point I was trying to make here, it's just something that continues to piss me off when it comes to gritty recreations of characters, because Riddler really never was supposed to be some Zodiac Killer wannabe, he's supposed to be a guy who leaves you riddles and makes you solve them and he's supposed to be a little silly about it. And I'm not saying you can't do a more gritty Riddler, because Arkham Knights did it super well imo! Just don't reinvent the wheel! Don't just make a new character and call him by another's name, that's a disservice to the character themselves and their creators.

This is a hard topic, because you have people who get the point of these characters (people who have actually read a comic before and paid attention to the story) but you also have insufferable film/comic bros who worship the ground Nolan and Reeves walks upon and who don't even take time to explore the rest of the Batfamily comics (his gang of vigilante children show up in the stand-alone Batman comics, though, so I don't know how they're missing this, unless they have the reading comprehension of a goldfish, which they probably do tbh). It's why I think a lot of these weirdos don't like Gotham Knights or Wayne Family Adventures, because they hate the thought of there being any semblance of fun in the Batman franchise. Not everything needs to be doom and gloom! Let Dick Grayson be bisexual and let Bruce Wayne have a PTA rival! You can have your cake and eat it too!

I know this seems like a silly sentiment coming from a person who just wrote an entire essay on this, but maybe don't take Batman so seriously? I don't mean, of course, that you can't care about these characters, I'm actually saying the opposite! I care very deeply for these characters, so much that I obviously spat all this out. I just think some people need to fucking chill when it comes to realistically portraying Batman. There's nothing wrong with taking a more serious approach to the characters and I have no problem modernizing them, but you can't just have action hero Batman, you have to have the human behind the mask too. And if you can't balance that, then I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be making Batman adaptations, because you obviously don't understand what the character is about.

I'm nervous to see where Reeves will go with the character, and only time will tell. I've heard rumors he plans to introduce Robin, I've heard rumors he doesn't. Either way, it's obviously out of my hands and I'll have opinions either way, but I really hope he has a better understanding of the history of the franchise than Nolan. While I appreciate, again, what Nolan did for revolutionizing not only the Batman franchise but the comic movie industry as well, I can still find faults in how he went about things. I truly don't believe we can have a worthy adaptation of Batman live action without Robin and without embracing the silliness of Batman's villains and I really hope producers, writers, and directors realize that soon.

Sorry if you read all that...

[nikethestatue]

When Elain Flew

A fluffy one shot. For @riafalcone1

"Which way are we going now?" Elain asked.

"West."

She furrowed her brow and muttered, "Which way is west?"

"West is west. The way we are going now," Azriel couldn't help but smile.

Cauldron-given powers apparently didn't extend to any of this Archeron sisters' understanding of West, East, North or South.

Even when he was training Feyre to fly, he needed to tell her 'right' or 'left' because once when he mistakenly said 'we are going North' she flew into a pine tree.

Elain scoffed at him and he laughed.

"That's stupid," she complained.  "Why can't you just say right or left?"

"Fine. We are going leftish."

Leftish.

Azriel was a liar. In fact, he loved lying. He loved deceiving. Sometimes, he did it maliciously. Mostly, it was a battle of wits with someone. Usually, he won.

Today, he was lying again. This time, to the girl that he loved. To his Elain, who was safely nestled in the circle of his arms, gently clutching at his neck. She trusted him and she wasn't afraid of heights, so she wasn't strangling him half to death, unlike Nesta, for example. In fact, she was a little too unafraid,  swinging her legs and wiggling against his chest, trying to get a better look. Today, just like every other day, when they needed to fly somewhere, Azriel lied and told her that for whatever magical reason, he couldn't winnow. Therefore, it was imperative that they flew. Of course he could've winnowed them--even here, to the Prison --and they could've walked the rest of the way, but to Hel with that. He much rather preferred to carry his wiggling brazen girl.

"What is that?!!"

Elain's excited cry of wonder and amazement alerted him, and his shadows swarmed around them as a precaution.

"Nooooo," she yelled loudly. "Take them away! Shoo-shoo!" she waved her arms, almost fucking falling out of his hold, trying to disperse the shadows.

"Careful," he snapped at her, put pulled the shadows back.

She ignored his tone and pointed out into the skies.

"There!" she exclaimed.

Ahhh. Now Azriel understood.

3 Pegasi were flying through the air, not too far from the two of them. He wasn't sure if anyone had noticed, but since the arrival of the Archerons in Prythian, a small herd of white and black Pegasi appeared on the grassy hills around the Prison. Legend had it that that's where they originated--in Dusk Court, where the Prison now stood. But over time, sickness took them, and their numbers dwindled, all the remaining Pegasi being stabled in Day now. Yet, a little over a year ago, a new, small herd just seemed to appear out of nowhere. Azriel had spotted them before, but he kept his mouth shut. Only Rhys was aware of their existence, and the two of them had an unspoken agreement not to let anyone else know, least of all Helion.

"It's a flying horse!' Elain cried in shock.

"It's a pegasus."

"I know what it is!!' she interrupted him impatiently. "I want one."

He hummed and told her gently, 'I don't know if you can just 'have one', Elain."

"Why not?"

"They are wild horses. They are extremely difficult to tame," he explained.

At that she huffed, like his explanation made no sense.

"I was a good rider when I was younger. I love horses. I had a pony named Marigold when I was a girl. She was a beautiful golden mare."

Her expression became pensive and a little sad.

"What happened to her?" Azriel asked softly.

Elain shrugged.

"She was sold. Like everything else. Like my childhood. Like Feyre's. Everything was sold."

He didn't respond, but banked and descended towards the grassy knolls of the island.

"They are coming with us!" she pointed out, when the Pegasi began dropping down from the sky.

Azriel knew that they wouldn't approach and that they were skittish and avoided Fae as much as possible.

He landed carefully and Elain jumped out of his arms, rushing towards the horses.

"Here horsey, horsey!" she called them. "I wish I had an apple! Or a carrot!' she lamented.

Azriel didn't have either, so there wasn't anything that he could do about that.

"El, come on," he beckoned her, but she waved him off.

"Ugh, give me a moment, Azriel! Whatever monster we have to talk to in there won't be going anywhere any time soon."

He chuckled.  She wasn't wrong.

So he stood and watched her, because that was his favourite thing to do in the world anyway.

And then, something remarkable happened. He stilled, watching with bated breath as one of the white mares cautiously, slowly headed towards Elain's direction. He stepped forward and the horse neighed angrily, as if she didn't want him near. He slowed and then stopped.

"Hello Mari," Elain murmured, opening her arms to the horse. "Come, beautiful girl. Come to me."

The Pegasus stepped closer and then closer still, until it towered over Elain, and pressed its nose into Elain's hair. Delicate fingers with short nails stroked the silky white mane and the horse nosed into Elain’s hand and then her shoulder, purring softly. 

“You are so pretty,” Elain cooed. “The prettiest girl in Prythian! Next time I come here, we’ll bring you a bushel of apples and carrots.”

Shit. Azriel winced. He’d have to carry Elain and a bushel of apples? And knowing her, it would be a large bushel. So be it. After all, he carried her and Briar, and his wings were fucked up and the king was shooting arrows at them, and he needed to guide Feyre, his High Lady, and coax her into flying. And he managed just fine. 

He could carry a bushel of apples and carrots, along with his girl.

Not many things shocked Azriel, but when the white pegasus gracefully lowered herself on the grass in front of Elain, he was genuinely shocked. This didn’t happen. He wasn’t lying when he said that they were indeed wild horses and taming them was near impossible.

Yet, here was one, willingly sliding to her knees in front of a Fae. 

Elain didn’t know how incredible this was. She was just excited. 

Throwing a tentative glance over her shoulder at Azriel, she stepped closer and then hiked her skirt up, exposing her legs, and then, to his utmost surprise, her pale soft thighs. This was turning into a much better trip than he planned. Only what she did next made him exclaim, “no, no, no. Get off! Right now!”

“No!” she sat on the horse and hugged it around the neck. “No way. I am not getting off.”

“Yes you are!” he threatened. “Remember how we discussed not putting yourself in danger needlessly. This is danger!”

“This isn’t danger,” she said incredulously. “This is a horse. My horse. My Marigold.”

And the moment the pegasus heard the name Marigold, she threw her wings out, almost knocking Azriel back on his ass and without any preamble, shot into the air.

Oh, Mother’s tits! No. No, no, no.

He rushed to catch up with them, while Elain screeched happily, hair flying around her, her cheeks red, the skirt billowing around her bare thighs, as she squeezed the horse’s flanks with her ankles. 

“Elain, I swear on the Cauldron, I will beat your bottom!” he yelled, flying closely to the pegasus.

She only laughed.

“What if I like it?!” she teased. 

It was his turn to flush. This girl was incorrigible. She didn’t listen. She was headstrong. And now she was flying next to him on a pegasus that she didn’t even need to tame.

She.

Was.

Flying.

The realization came to both of them at once. 

Elain was flying.

Next to Azriel. 

He was the first one to ever see her fly. He was the first one to ever see her joy, and her freedom. 

Suddenly, he recalled their first dinner together. She was still human. He was brought to his knees by her beauty. And she asked him, "Can you truly fly?” And he answered with something overly poetic and was hoping pathetically that she’d like his answer. He said that they were born hearing the song of the wind.

But now, it wasn’t just him and Cassian and the Illyrians.

It seemed that Elain was also born hearing the song of the wind.

[lonesilverw0lf]

Chess student: The cult has become locked itself in this building, we need to clear them out.

Football student: We know where they are, so let’s just bum rush them and take ‘em out.

CS: Don’t be rash. We have to do this methodically so we ensure they’re gone for good.

FS: We have them cornered, just get in there and get it done.

CS: We don’t know how many of them are left, what kind of traps they have, escape routes, or what. We can’t take any chances that they’ve set a trap themselves or that they can escape.

FS: They just got in there after two days of running. They’ve been caught with their pants down! We need to bust down the walls before they have a chance to rest and regroup!

CS: Or walk right into a trap? This is the real deal, we can’t make any half baked decisions.

FS: You’re not the active type, even back in school. You don’t have any idea on what actually goes down in the split seconds, nor any say on what it takes. You’ll let a perfectly good opportunity waltz by as you try to come up with some half clever scheme!

CS: You’ve never thought ahead once in your life. You always rush headlong into things and end up in a bigger mess than what was originally there. Or even create a mess because you didn’t know left from right!

FS: At least I choose to do something instead of sit back like a coward!

CS: I’ve seen better intelligence in a monkey than anything you try to pull!

???: Guys!

FS and CS: WHAT?!

Art Student: You two need to find something to make up, your arguments almost broke my concentration several times. Guh. My farsighted isn’t great, but I did manage to get as much information on the inside as I could. *hands over a stack of papers with sketches of the building and the insides*

CS: That’s great! The more intelligence we have the better we can plan ahead.

FS: Just point out where the boss man is so I can get in there and knock his head in.

AS: At least tell me you can tell what it’s supposed to be? I’m an abstract expressionist not a realist.

FS: Looks clear enough for me.

CS, flipping through the drawings: Ok, so a dozen and so cultists, a couple of horses, a loft, I guess that’s a weapons rack, so far so expected. Hey, what’s the story with this one?

AS: Which one? Sorry my headache hasn’t given me my sight yet so everything’s kinda blurry still.

CS: The one guy with more details than the rest.

AS: Dunno yet. I can only draw what I see using my Sight. I don’t know what it is I’m looking at until I see what I drew.

FS: That sounds stupid.

AS: They say that it’ll get better with time. Right now I’m too low level for that. Huh, that one guy is a lot more detailed than the rest. Weird.

CS: I didn’t get all the details on your Ability. Why is this so important?

AS: My mentor said something about things that I’m more familiar with tend to come out clearer. People I know, places I frequent, they stick out a lot more. Even if the place has changed significantly like a fire or battle happened, or if a person is wearing a disguise or something.

FS: So who would be so familiar to you in this random group of cultists?

Realization dawns on the assembled trio.

FS: Ok CS, your plan is good. We surround the building and- huh?

AS: I just blinked. Where did CS go?

CS, punching a hole into the wall of the building like the Kool Aid man: YIPPE KAI YAY MOTHER FUCKERS!! WHERE YOU AT BLORBO?!

MC, who infiltrated the Cult to feed the local militia information: How the hell do you guys keep finding me?!

The standard 'entire class gets isekai'd to a fantasy world and the outcast MC is basically discarded' anime setting, where the MC, now assumed dead, decides to instead help the class of Heroes in the shadows, making sure they live up to what the people need.

However, the entire class knows that he's alive and are hellbent on dragging that son of a bitch back into the spotlight and to give him the recognition he deserves.

(And maybe because he was basically the entire class's Little Guy™.)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Chapter One of “Picks and Shovels” (Part 1)

Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by Wil Wheaton.

My next novel is Picks and Shovels, out next month. It's tells the origin story of Martin Hench, my hard-charging, scambusting, high-tech forensic accountant, in a 1980s battle over the soul of a PC company:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865908/picksandshovels

I'm currently running a Kickstarter to pre-sell the book in every format: hardcover, DRM-free ebook, and an independently produced, fabulous DRM-free audiobook read by Wil Wheaton, who just nailed the delivery:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/picks-and-shovels-marty-hench-at-the-dawn-of-enshittification

Picks and Shovels opens with a long prologue that recounts Marty's misadventures as a failing computer science student at MIT, his love-affair with computers, and his first disastrous startup venture. It ends with him decamping to Silicon Valley with his roommate Art, a brilliant programmer, to seek their fortune.

Chapter one opens with Marty's first job, working for a weird PC company (there were so many weird PC companies back then!). I've posted Wil's audio reading of chapter one as a teaser for the Kickstarter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGXz1mkAd2Q

(Here it is as an MP3 at the Internet Archive:)

https://ia600607.us.archive.org/5/items/picks-and-shovels-promo/audio.mp3

The audio is great, but I thought I'd also serialize the text of Chapter One here, in five or six chunks. If you enjoy this and want to pre-order the book, please consider backing the Kickstarter:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/picks-and-shovels-marty-hench-at-the-dawn-of-enshittification

Chapter One

Fidelity Computing was the most colorful PC company in Silicon Valley.

A Catholic priest, a Mormon bishop, and an Orthodox rabbi walk into a technology gold rush and start a computer company. The fact that it sounded like the setup for a nerdy joke about the mid-1980s was fantastic for their bottom line. Everyone who heard their story loved it.

As juicy as the story of Fidelity Computing was, they flew under most people’s radar for years, even as they built a wildly profitable technology empire through direct sales through faith groups. The first time most of us heard of them was in 1983, when Byte ran its cover story on Fidelity Computing, unearthing a parallel universe of technology that had grown up while no one was looking.

At first, I thought maybe they were doing something similar to Apple’s new Macintosh: like Apple, they made PCs (the Wise PC), an operating system (Wise DOS), and a whole line of monitors, disk drives, printers, and software.

Like the Mac, none of these things worked with anything else—you needed to buy everything from floppy disks to printer cables specially from them, because nothing anyone else made would work with their system.

And like the Mac, they sold mostly through word of mouth. The big difference was that Mac users were proud to call themselves a cult, while Fidelity Computing’s customers were literally a religion.

Long after Fidelity had been called to the Great Beyond, its most loyal customers gave it an afterlife, nursing their computers along, until the parts and supplies ran out. They’d have kept going even then, if there’d been any way to unlock their machines and use the same stuff the rest of the computing world relied on. But that wasn’t something Fidelity Computing would permit, even from beyond the grave.

I was summoned to Fidelity headquarters—in unfashionable Colma, far from the white-hot start-ups of Palo Alto, Mountain View, and, of course, Cupertino—by a friend of Art’s. Art had a lot more friends than me. I was a skipping stone, working as the part-time bookkeeper/accountant/CFO for half a dozen companies and never spending more than one or two days in the same office.

Art was hardly more stable than me—he switched start-ups all the time, working for as little as two months (and never for more than a year) before moving on. His bosses knew what they were getting: you hired Art Hellman to blaze into your company, take stock of your product plan, root out and correct all of its weak points, build core code libraries, and then move on. He was good enough and sufficiently in demand to command the right to behave this way, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. My view was, it was an extended celebration of his liberation from the legal villainy of Nick Cassidy III: having narrowly escaped a cage, he was determined never to be locked up again.

Art’s “engagements”—as he called them—earned him the respect and camaraderie of half the programmers and hardware engineers in the Valley. This, in spite of the fact that he was a public and ardent member of the Lavender Panthers, wore the badge on his lapel, went to the marches, and brought his boyfriend to all the places where his straight colleagues brought their girlfriends.

He’d come out to me less than a week after I arrived by the simple expedient of introducing the guy he was watching TV with in our living room as Lewis, his boyfriend. Lewis was a Chinese guy about our age, and his wardrobe—plain white tee, tight blue jeans, loafers—matched the new look Art had adopted since leaving Boston. Lewis had a neat, short haircut that matched Art’s new haircut, too.

To call the Art I’d known in Cambridge a slob would be an insult to the natty, fashion-conscious modern slob. He’d favored old band T-shirts with fraying armpit seams, too-big jeans that were either always sliding off his skinny hips or pulled up halfway to his nipples. In the summer, his sneakers had holes in the toes. In the winter, his boots were road-salt-crusted crystalline eruptions. His red curls were too chaotic for a white-boy ’fro and were more of a heap, and he often went days without shaving.

There were members of the Newbury Street Irregulars who were bigger slobs than Art, but they smelled. Art washed, but otherwise, he looked like a homeless person (or a hacker). His transformation to a neatly dressed, clean-shaven fellow with a twenty-five-dollar haircut that he actually used some sort of hairspray on was remarkable. I’d assumed it was about his new life as a grown-up living far from home and doing a real job. It turned out that wasn’t the reason at all.

“Oh,” I said. “That makes a lot of sense.” I shook Lewis’s hand. He laughed. I checked Art. He was playing it cool, but I could tell he was nervous. I remembered Lucille and how she listened, and what it felt like to be heard. I thought about Art, and the things he’d never been able to tell me.

There’d been a woman in the Irregulars who there were rumors about, and there were a pair of guys one floor down in Art’s building who held hands in the elevator, but as far as I knew up until that moment, I hadn’t really ever been introduced to a homosexual person. I didn’t know how I felt about it, but I did know how I wanted to feel about it.

So Art didn’t just get to know all kinds of geeks from his whistle-stop tour of Silicon Valley’s hottest new tech ventures. He was also plugged into this other network of people from the Lavender Panthers, and their boyfriends and girlfriends, and the people he knew from bars and clubs. He and Lewis lasted for a couple of months, and then there were a string of weekends where there was a new guy at the breakfast table, and then he settled down again for a while with Artemis, and then he hit a long dry spell.

I commiserated. I’d been having a dry spell for nearly the whole two years I’d been in California. The closest I came to romance was exchanging a letter with Lucille every couple of weeks—she was a fine pen pal, but that wasn’t really a substitute for a living, breathing woman in my life.

Art threw himself into his volunteer work, and he was only half joking when he said he did it to meet a better class of boys than you got at a club. Sometimes, there’d be a committee meeting in our living room and I’d hear about the congressional committee hearing on the “gay plague” and the new wave of especially vicious attacks. It was pretty much the only time I heard about that stuff—no one I worked with ever brought it up, unless it was to make a terrible joke.

It was Murf, one of the guys from those meetings, who told me that Fidelity Computing was looking for an accountant for a special project. He had stayed after the meeting and he and Art made a pot of coffee and sat down in front of Art’s Apple clone, a Franklin Ace 1200 that he’d scored six months ahead of its official release. After opening the lid to show Murf the interior, Art fired it up and put it through its paces.

I hovered over his shoulder, watching. I’d had a couple of chances to play with the 1200, and I wanted one more than anything in the world except for a girlfriend.

“Marty,” Art said, “Murf was telling me about a job I thought you might be good for.”

The Ace 1200 would have a list price of $2,200. I pulled up a chair.

Fidelity Computing’s business offices were attached to their warehouse, right next to their factory. It took up half of a business park in Colma, and I had to circle it twice to find a parking spot. I was five minutes late and flustered when I presented myself to the receptionist, a blond woman with a ten – years – out – of – date haircut and a modest cardigan over a sensible white shirt buttoned to the collar, ring on her finger.

“Hello,” I said. “I’m Marty Hench. I—uh—I’ve got a meeting with the Reverend Sirs.” That was what the executive assistant I’d spoken to on the phone had called them. It sounded weird when he said it. It sounded weirder when I said it.

The receptionist gave me a smile that only went as far as her lips. “Please have a seat,” she said. There were only three chairs in the little reception area, vinyl office chairs with worn wooden armrests. There weren’t any magazines, just glossy catalogs featuring the latest Fidelity Computing systems, accessories, consumables, and software. I browsed one, marveling at the parallel universe of computers in the strange, mauve color that denoted all Fidelity equipment, including the boxes, packaging, and, now that I was attuned to it, the accents and carpet in the small lobby. A side door opened and a young, efficient man in a kippah and wire-rim glasses called for me: “Mr. Hench?” I closed the catalog and returned it to the pile and stood. As I went to shake his hand, I realized that something had been nagging me about the catalog—there were no prices.

“I’m Shlomo,” the man said. “We spoke on the phone. Thank you for coming down. The Reverend Sirs are ready to see you now.”

He wore plain black slacks, hard black shiny shoes, and a white shirt with prayer-shawl tassels poking out of its tails. I followed him through a vast room filled with chest-high Steelcase cubicles finished in yellowing, chipped wood veneer, every scratch pitilessly lit by harsh overhead fluorescents. Most of the workers at the cubicles were women with headsets, speaking in hushed tones. The tops of their heads marked the interfaith delineators: a block of Orthodox headscarves, then a block of nuns’ black and white scarves (I learned to call them “veils” later), then the Mormons’ carefully coiffed, mostly blond dos.

“This way,” Shlomo said, passing through another door and into executive row. The mauve carpets were newer, the nap all swept in one direction. The walls were lined with framed certificates of appreciation, letters from religious and public officials (apparently, the church and state were not separate within the walls of Fidelity Computing), photos of groups of progressively larger groups of people ranked before progressively larger offices—the company history.

We walked all the way to the end of the hall, past closed doors with nameplates, to a corner conference room with a glass wall down one side, showing a partial view of a truck-loading dock behind half-closed vertical blinds. Seated at intervals around a large conference table were the Reverend Sirs themselves, each with his own yellow pad, pencil, and coffee cup.

Shlomo announced me: “Reverend Sirs, this is Marty Hench. Mr. Hench, these are Rabbi Yisrael Finkel, Bishop Leonard Clarke, and Father Marek Tarnowski.” He backed out of the door, leaving me standing, unsure if I should circle the table shaking hands, or take a seat, or—

“Please, sit,” Rabbi Finkel said. He was fiftyish, round-faced and bear-shaped with graying sidelocks and beard and a black suit and tie. His eyes were sharp behind horn-rimmed glasses. He gestured to a chair at the foot of the table.

I sat, then rose a little to undo the button of my sport coat. I hadn’t worn it since my second job interview, when I realized it was making the interviewers uncomfortable. It certainly made me uncomfortable. I fished out the little steno pad and stick pen I’d brought with me.

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Hench.” The rabbi had an orator’s voice, that big chest of his serving as a resonating chamber like a double bass.

“Of course,” I said. “Thanks for inviting me. It’s a fascinating company you have here.”

Bishop Clarke smiled at that. He was the best dressed of the three, in a well-cut business suit, his hair short, neat, side-parted. His smile was very white, and very wide. He was the youngest of the three—in his late thirties, I’d guess. “Thank you,” he said. “We know we’re very different from the other computer companies, and we like it that way. We like to think that we see something in computers—a potential—that other people have missed.”

Father Tarnowski scowled. He was cadaverously tall and thin, with the usual dog collar and jacket, and a heavy gold class ring. His half-rim glasses flashed. He was the oldest, maybe sixty, and had a sour look that I took for habitual. “He doesn’t want the press packet, Leonard,” he said. “Let’s get to the point.” He had a broad Chicago accent like a tough-guy gangster in The Untouchables.

Bishop Clarke’s smile blinked off and on for an instant and I was overcome with the sudden knowledge that these two men did not like each other at all, and that there was some kind of long-running argument simmering beneath the surface. “Thank you, Marek, of course. Mr. Hench’s time is valuable.” Father Tarnowski snorted softly at that and the bishop pretended he didn’t hear it, but I saw Rabbi Finkel grimace at his yellow pad.

“What can I help you Reverend Sirs with today?” Reverend Sirs came more easily now, didn’t feel ridiculous at all. The three of them gave the impression of being a quarter inch away from going for each other’s throats, and the formality was a way to keep tensions at a distance.

“We need a certain kind of accountant,” the rabbi said. He’d dated the top of his yellow pad and then circled the date. “A kind of accountant who understands the computer business. Who understands computers, on a technical level. It’s hard to find an accountant like that, believe it or not, even in Silicon Valley.” I didn’t point out that Colma wasn’t in Silicon Valley.

“Well,” I said, carefully. “I think I fit that bill. I’ve only got an associate’s degree in accounting, but I’m a kind of floating CFO for half a dozen companies and I’ve been doing night classes at UCSF Extension to get my bachelor’s. I did a year at MIT and built my own computer a few years back. I program pretty well in BASIC and Pascal and I’ve got a little C, and I’m a pretty darned good debugger, if I do say so myself.”

Bishop Clarke gave a small but audible sigh of relief. “You do indeed sound perfect, and I’m told that Shlomo spoke to your references and they were very enthusiastic about your diligence and . . . discretion.”

I’d given Shlomo a list of four clients I’d done extensive work with, but I hadn’t had “discretion” in mind when I selected them. It’s true that doing a company’s accounts made me privy to some sensitive information—like when two employees with the same job were getting paid very different salaries—but I got the feeling that wasn’t the kind of “discretion” the bishop had in mind.

“I’m pretty good at minding my own business,” I said, and then, “even when I’m being paid to mind someone else’s.” I liked that line, and made a mental note about it. Maybe someday I’d put it on my letterhead. Martin Hench: Confidential CPA.

The bishop favored me with a chuckle. The rabbi nodded thoughtfully. The priest scowled.

“That’s very good,” the bishop said. “What we’d like to discuss today is of a very sensitive nature, and I’m sure you’ll understand if we would like more than your good word to rely on.” He lifted his yellow pad, revealing a single page, grainily photocopied, and slid it over the table to me. “That’s our standard nondisclosure agreement,” he said. He slid a pen along to go with it.

I didn’t say anything. I’d signed a few NDAs, but only after I’d taken a contract. This was something different. I squinted at the page, which was a second- or third-generation copy and blurry in places. I started to read it. The bishop made a disgusted noise. I pretended I didn’t hear him.

I crossed out a few clauses and carefully lettered in an amendment. I initialed the changes and slid the paper back across the table to the bishop, and found the smile was gone from his face. All three of them were now giving me stern looks, wrath-of-God looks, the kind of looks that would make a twenty-one-year-old kid like me very nervous indeed. I felt the nerves rise and firmly pushed them down.

“Mr. Hench,” the bishop said, his tone low and serious, “is there some kind of problem?”

It pissed me off. I’d driven all the way to for-chrissakes Colma and these three weirdo God-botherers had ambushed me with their everything – and – the – kitchen – sink contract. I had plenty of work, and I didn’t need theirs, especially not if this was the way they wanted to deal. This had suddenly become a negotiation, and my old man had always told me the best negotiating position was a willingness to get up from the table. I was going to win this negotiation, one way or another.

“No problem,” I said.

“And yet you appear to have made alterations to our standard agreement.”

“I did,” I said. That’s not a problem for me, I didn’t say.

He gave me more of that stern eyeball-ray stuff. I let my negotiating leverage repel it. “Mr. Hench, our standard agreement can only be altered after review by our general counsel.”

“That sounds like a prudent policy,” I said, and met his stare.

He clucked his tongue. “I can get a fresh one,” he said. “This one is no good.”

I cocked my head. “I think it’d be better to get your general counsel, wouldn’t it?”

The three of them glared at me. I found I was enjoying myself. What’s more, I thought Rabbi Finkel might be suppressing a little smile, though the beard made it hard to tell.

“Let me see it,” he said, holding his hand out.

Bishop Clarke gave a minute shake of his head. The rabbi half rose, reached across the table, and slid it over to himself, holding it at arm’s length and adjusting his glasses. He picked up his pen and initialed next to my changes.

“Those should be fine,” he said, and slid it back to me. “Sign, please.”

“Yisrael,” Bishop Clarke said, an edge in his voice, “changes to the standard agreements need to be reviewed—”

“By our general counsel,” the rabbi finished, waving a dismissive gesture at him. “I know, I know. But these are fine. We should probably make the same changes to all our agreements. Meanwhile, we’ve all now had a demonstration that Mr. Hench is the kind of person who takes his promises seriously. Would you rather have someone who doesn’t read and signs his life away, or someone who makes sure he knows what he’s signing and agrees with it?”

Bishop Clarke’s smile came back, strained at the corners. “That’s an excellent point, Rabbi. Thank you for helping me understand your reasoning.” He collected the now-signed contract from me and tucked it back under his yellow pad.

“Now,” he said, “we can get down to the reason we asked you here today.”

Check out my Kickstarter to pre-order copies of my next novel, Picks and Shovels!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/09/the-reverend-sirs/#fidelity-computing/

[whatevertheweather]

Happy Wednesday apparently! So, the only writing I've actually done so far this year (all 8 long days of it) is for original stuff. But we're going to visit one of the fics I mentioned in my year end post, which I wanted to share a bit of in the pursuit of kicking the ol' "you must create in a vacuum" habit.

My original intent towards secrecy on this one was twofold. First, that it's an AU based on a book I feverishly finished in a weekend a bit ago, and if I say the book, spoilers can get involved. Second, if I get excited about it and then lose that excitement and never finish it, no one can be disappointed, because they didn't know about it in the first place.

The latter is silly because community is the way to maintain excitement, but I'm still a little on the fence about the former, so I'm not going to explain the AU just yet. For now, I'll just say half the excitement is the opportunity to be very mean to both of them, and the WIP doc is at a wordcount of ~18k, fairly evenly split between brainstorming and actual writing, and the first page features the header Like any good doc whose first sentence includes “maybe never pursue this,” here’s the research section.

So anyway, here's a little bit that does not tell you why I have to research things.

“Pitch,” Simon said. He waited for Baz to say I know, I get that all the time. But the line was quiet. “Like—?” “Yes.” “Like Pitch. Industries. Like Pitch Industries.” “Yes.” “Like, you made my suit.” “Well, no,” Baz corrected, punctuating it with a short and pointed pause. Like he was giving Simon a small grace period to call himself an idiot. “I designed it. I don’t hand-make every suit.” Simon took a breath. Held it in his cheeks and blew it out. “I have some complaints.” Baz left him again in the ringing silence where camaraderie goes to die.  Finally, haltingly, he said, “Such as?”

It's probably not that kind of suit.

Anywho, thank you for the tags the last few days: @martsonmars @monbons @artsyunderstudy @youarenevertooold @rimeswithpurple

@mooncello @bookish-bogwitch @run-for-chamo-miles @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon

@confused-bi-queer @noblecorgi

And more tags for: @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @moodandmist @fatalfangirl @whogaveyoupermission

@ivelovedhimthroughworse @ionlydrinkhotwater @sillyunicorn @ileadacharmedlife @alexalexinii

@bluedahlia912 @iamamythologicalcreature @cutestkilla @raenestee @basiltonbutliketheherb

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 18 His Side Story

Chapter 18

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

Enis: "On the day of the end, Tanzanite will lose its God."

Enis: "The moon will disappear, and the people will awaken from a long dream."

Enis: "With the death of the eternal God."

The prophecy of the end, said to have been left by the first Living God, may have been a message sent by a past Living God to a future Living God.

That one day you will surely die –- it is the first mercy that the former god gives to the people, and it is also the last mercy that the current Living God gives, lamenting the decline caused by faith.

-

There is a sign of someone approaching in the quiet desert night.

I sat up, leaning against a pillar of the ruins.

Basil: Prince Azel, the transfer is complete.

Azel: Thank you for your hard work. Were the guests from Rhodolite behaving themselves?

Basil: Yes, they were very cooperative. I don't think there were any suspicious reactions.

Azel: That's good.

Basil: I think the other members will be back soon.

Azel: Yes, I'll be waiting.

(...With this, the preparations for the plan are complete.)

(There is no need to bind that woman with debt anymore.)

I let the guests from Rhodolite roam freely within the country for a while, but as expected, they were good at maneuvering and I couldn't see a definitive connection to Obsidian.

However, they are not completely able to hide their connection, so I decided to switch to a policy of having them stay quiet before the end.

(The problem is how to get that woman out of the temple.)

(...I hope she'll just leave quietly.)

Basil: Prince Azel. Over there... I think I see a light in the hallway...

(...!)

Turning around, there is a light moving down the hallway, just as Basil said.

(Is she awake?)

(From the looks of it, she's looking for me.)

The light is on the left side of the temple.

It seems she has entered the forbidden area.

(...This is troublesome at the very last moment.)

Azel: Basil, could you please tell everyone to wait outside?

Azel: It seems that an uninvited guest has entered that room.

-

––This vast space deep within the temple seems to have originally been a place where the god gathered believers and gave oracles.

It is said that the first Living God handled political affairs here, listened to people's troubles, and built the foundation of divination.

(Tanzanite began here.)

(I wonder how far into the future the first god saw...)

The woman who wandered into the sacred space puts a lantern on the table and picks up a document.

That paper, spun with confidential information, is the most important and prohibited item in this space.

Azel: ––Have you been looking?

Emma: !

(Why of all things would she look at that?)

Letting out a sigh, I call out to the woman's back.

She seems to be aware that she has seen something she shouldn't have, as she didn't react in her usual carefree manner.

Azel: I warned you not to enter, didn't I?

The woman, her body stiff, turns around awkwardly and opens her eyes wide.

Emma: Prince Azel... that outfit...

(To be preoccupied with my clothes first...)

It was prepared by Kamal as a symbol of the end of the era of gods and the arrival of the human world.

When I am involved in the plan, I dutifully change my clothes and switch my mind to "killing the god."

It's not as if anything changes just by changing clothes, but this outfit is lighter since I don't have to carry the weight of a god.

(But I don't intend to tell her that much.)

Azel: There are things you should be more concerned about than my clothes, aren't there?

As I approach, the woman backs away with a strained look on her face.

Still, I corner her against the wall and put my arms around her waist so I can give her the "medicine."

Azel: You touched a taboo.

Azel: Do you think you can get away with it?

Emma: ...What... what is the taboo...?

Emma: The prophecy, this room...

Even in the dim light, I can see the woman's expression contorted in agony.

For some reason, my chest hurts.

Azel: ...Why do you have that look on your face like you're about to cry?

Azel: I told you at the castle, didn't I? That it has nothing to do with you.

Azel: Tanzanite itself is a dream to you.

Azel: When you wake up, you'll forget everything and return to your everyday life in Rhodolite.

Emma: You think it has nothing to do with me... do you really think that?

Emma: You think it has nothing to do with me... do you really think that?

Emma: Humans aren't that heartless.

Emma: ...Now that we've made a connection...

(This is why good people are troublesome. They don't abandon others just because they are strangers.)

(No...)

(Am I truly a stranger to you?)

*remembering a moment from the past*

Emma: If I'm going to make it, I want Prince Azel to be happy with it, of course.

Azel: .....

(I can still turn back.)

(...I wish that were the case.)

Azel: I told you before, didn't I? That I can show people sweet dreams or maddening dreams.

Azel: Everything you're seeing now is a dream.

Emma: There's no way I'll be deceived by such words--

Azel: If I say it's a dream, it becomes a dream.

Azel: That's the Land of Illusions.

I flick the lid of the small bottle I had hidden in my hand and take the liquid inside into my mouth.

Before the woman could grasp the situation, I covered her unguarded mouth.

Emma: ...Nn!?

(It will all be a dream anyway.)

I subdue her resistance with force and pry open her lips, which were tightly sealed in refusal, with my tongue.

While she opened her mouth without thinking, I quickly poured the medicine in.

I deepen the kiss, pressing our lips together tightly so that she can't spit it out, and hold her close until the liquid flows down her throat.

(What kind of face should I make when she wakes up next?)

Gradually, the strength leaves the woman's body.

After confirming that the medicine has taken effect and releasing her face, she weakly grabs my collar.

Emma: ...The... worst...

Azel: Too late for that, isn't it? You were the first one to say it.

Azel: That I'm an evil God.

(It's all a bad dream. ...For you, and for me.)

(Please forget it.)

The woman's hand, which had been holding onto me, falls limply, and silence returns.

I support her collapsing body with my arm to prevent her from falling.

Azel: ...You could have just obediently waited for morning.

(Then I wouldn't have had to hurt you more than necessary.)

(It wouldn't have been so... unpleasant.)

(You hopelessly kind person...)

Azel: I really don't understand.

Azel: Why do you take other people's problems as your own?

Azel: ...Is that what a normal human is like?

Kamal: No, it's not.

(...Oh, you were there.)

Kamal, who had been leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed at some point, puffs on the cigar smoke he was holding between his fingers.

Perhaps only my brother couldn't suppress his curiosity about what had happened inside.

Kamal: A normal human wouldn't worry about you, a God.

Kamal: It's disrespectful. A God is a being who saves people, not a being to be saved.

Kamal: But the you reflected in her eyes is not a God.

Kamal: The one who held back tears and desperately searched for you is not a God.

Kamal: This is what it means to become close.

Azel: …How troublesome.

Azel: I have no intention of becoming close.

(I've always been the wicked god to women.)

(The reason I didn't hide my true nature from the beginning was so that I could break up with her without any lingering feelings in the end.)

(I've never been kind.)

(...I think.)

Kamal: Seriously?

Azel: Seriously.

Kamal: …Poor you.

(Yes, I admit it's sad.)

Azel: Don't expect a God to have human emotions.

Kamal: Hmm?

Azel: What?

Kamal: Hey, I was wondering… why did you ask Enis to explain?

Kamal: You should have been told about the prophecy of the end too, right?

(...You're sharp.)

(Even Emma didn't notice.)

Azel: It was just a bother.

Kamal: Is that all? No, it's not, is it?

Azel: …It doesn't matter.

Kamal: Answer me properly. It's important.

Azel: …

(...There's no deep meaning.)

(It's just that I knew from the beginning that woman wouldn't stay silent if I said something like "the god is going to die.")

Azel: ...............For some reason, it was hard to say.

Azel: That's all.

(Even if someone else delivered the message, the result wouldn't change.)

(I threw everything at Enis, who is better at handling women than me.)

(…I should have just left it all to him, but for some reason I chased after her, but that aside…)

(.....)

(Why do I become such a fool as soon as that woman is involved?)

Kamal: Ah, as I thought...

Kamal: God doesn't know, does he?

Azel: Know what?

Kamal: That emotion you're holding in your chest right now...

Kamal: That's from a human heart.

At my brother's words, I unknowingly gasp.

If this murky, muddled, irritating discomfort is called having a "human heart" ---

(Being an ordinary person isn't easy.)

.

.

.

Chapter 19

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[r4bbitmilk]

Am in the mood to yap right now so I'd like to express my feelings for Suo Hayato (because if I talk about about skr I fear I'll start feeling nauseous from excessive emotions again).

First off, my thoughts are no where as well-researched as those cooler fans who make analysis threads on Suo and his mysterious background and Chinese (probable?) origins and themes, but i do have lots of feelings for him, and one of those is cuteness aggression. You'd think the way i draw Nirei-kun like a fluffy sunny pomeranian made of cheese curls means I find him the cutest, and trust me he is definitely in my top 5 most squishable characters of all time, but the way Suo Hayato is simultaneously "the mature friend" and a disgustingly immature childish fool makes me want to squeeze him with two hands until some strange fluid bursts out of his eyepatched eye and I discover he was a slime monster disguised as a person this whole time.

Suo Hayato is obnoxiously adorable. He never gets his hands dirty, doesn't even let his closest friends see him eat or drink things that aren't water coffee or tea, and his fight style allows him to knock people out without so much as wrinkling his clothes. diva??? princess??? He's far worse, actually. He's a babygirl. I'm sure there's a reason for it, and I fear it'll be sad and depressing and possibly even painful to read, but for now it's hilarious. Like if I sneeze on him will he want to kill me? Would I see that rare glint of rage in his eyes if I wipe a cheetos dust finger on his crisp white changsan? So spicy

And then you get to the part where he cares sooo deeply about his friends. His patience to let skr figure out his emotions? The way he was out for blood when Nirei got hurt, and without hesitation said yes to training Nirei to become a (relatively) more capable fighter? All the times he'd lovingly smile at class 1-1's antics? I know what you are... fake idgafer....

Don't even get me started on the whole "let's climb the stairs to adulthood together" thing. Calling Kanuma immature? yea totally. Implying that he too is immature thus they gotta climb it together? hell yeah. That's probably not the right interpretation, but i find it silly. He is probably 100% capable of reigning in his emotions and being a sensible mature person, but the little shit-eating grin on his face tells me he finds that boring, so he'd rather make you so angry you mald and die.

And that's why i love Suo Hayato so much i want to fight him. No, I need to fight him. I love and respect and even resonate with his characterization so much that i feel the need to dig my fingernails into his flesh and unravel what else is hiding behind that smile that we only ever see crack when Tsugeura is annoying him. I need to see what else I can make Suo Hayato do or say if i rile up his emotions enough. I need to land a blow to his face that'll reveal what's under his stupid eyepatch.

Not to mention he's stupid beautiful. That's too many good things to say for one character. I need to beat his ass. All these strong emotions and he's not even my 3rd favorite character of the series. This windbreaker shit is insane.

[ropebunnykant]

with the utmost respect, no lmao.

i'm not saying there AREN'T parallels between 10 things and the heart killers, because obviously there are. and not just because they're based on the same source material, but because jojo did intentionally throw in nods to it and parallels because he clearly has a love for the movie and wanted to do a modern shakespeare adaptation similar in style to it. however, that doesn't make it based on 10 things.

jojo himself called it a shakespeare adaption. and while i know word of god isn't always the thing to go off of, when it comes to someone's intentions with their media and what they're inspiration is, it's important to take the creator's words into account. but, even beyond that, there are plenty of things that show us that it's a taming adaptation, not a 10 things adaptation. i have an entire tag dedicated to all the direct parallels to taming that we've gotten, many of which are not referenced in 10 things at all, which you can view here if you'd like.

now, about your arguments for why it's a 10 things adaptation, starting with the post you linked here. yes, katherina is her name in the play, but many versions refer to her as just katherine or kate or any such variation of the name. which... that's what katherine is, btw. a variation on katherina. they both mean pure. it's the same name. that's why her name is katherine in 10 things to begin with.

also, i'm not sure how saying that patrick was singing to katherine but petruchio wasn't is really a point in 10 things favor? style isn't really singing either. he's chanting. and fadel's reaction to it is far more in line with the embarrassment that katherina suffers at the hands of petruchio than it is with kat's reaction in 10 things, which is that she's charmed by it. i'm not saying it's not at all a reference to 10 things, because it clearly is, but it's actually paralleling BOTH pieces of media at the same time.

as for the arguments you make here, i am not going to totally refute that bianca in 10 things is stronger than bianca in taming because if that's what you believe, that's totally your prerogative. however, that is also entirely up to interpretation. i personally think that bianca in taming is just as strong as she is in 10 things. she's quieter about it yes, but she's just as manipulative as bison AND bianca from 10 things. her strength is just represented differently because of the time period she is in and the fact that she is trying to work WITHIN the system, whereas katherina is working outside of it.

i also don't really understand what your point about style being cocky and shameless in the same ways patrick is are meant to prove? those are also traits of petruchio. and while yes, patrick loves kat just the way she is and petruchio doesn't... i wouldn't exactly expect ANY modern adaptation of that play to have the characters not enjoying each other for who they are? that doesn't negate them being based on those original characters? is patrick also not based on petruchio then, because he loved kat as she was and didn't try to change her?

i really don't understand the outright denial there seems to be with calling this a shakespeare adaptation for so many people. you're not even the only person that has tried to tell me this, and it's so very strange to me. because yes, i get that everyone loves 10 things and is more familiar with it, but you can love 10 things and appreciate the references in the heart killers in it without dismissing the intentional hard work and research that has been put into this show when it comes to the shakespeare aspect. and if it's about not liking petruchio or the initial play, then you would also have to dismiss the validity of 10 things as an adaptation because it was also based on that, and patrick was also based on petruchio.

also, i will say, it is very rude to come onto my post discussing the taming characters that style is based off of and try to tell me "no actually, he's based on this character that is based on only one of (not even the main one!) you're talking about in this post." if you think it's a 10 things adaptation, that's fine, but i'm allowed to have my interpretation of it as well and discuss the parallels between the characters and the shakespeare originals without being told that i'm wrong because you don't think that's actually what it's based on. but go off i guess.

was gonna say this in the tags of my last taming parallel but i think this actually warrants a post of its own. i think the thing that makes style a lovable character despite being based on such a horrific character is the fact that he’s not solely based on petruchio. he’s also based heavily on tranio, who if you’re unaware, is lucentio’s servant and dear friend. so, while he has the boldness and shamelessness of petruchio, he has tranio’s unwavering loyalty and hopefulness. honestly, i’d argue he’s more based on tranio than he is petruchio, because petruchio at his core is an inherently cruel character, whereas tranio is inherently kind, which fits style far better. i’d even argue that kant parallels petruchio far closer than style (not a dig at kant! its just that kant has the ability to be cruel and calculated when he needs to be because his hand has been forced, whereas style inherently just doesn’t have that in him).

i also think it’s interesting because style stands out from the others in a number of ways, not simply because of his hopefulness but because (to our current knowledge) he’s not a criminal. which is an interesting parallel because lucentio, bianca, and katherine all have a higher status, while tranio is a servant and therefore distinct from them. additionally, tranio’s plot in taming is that he is disguised as lucentio for most of the show, and i think that sort of parallels style needing to become a police informant by association in a way.

[narse-tantalus]

The Missile Knows Where It Is....

I think this is the original?