#as a treat. bc i did something i was proud of today :)

[vigilskeep]

okay fascinating.

[acidinduceddaydreams]

First Real Love with Skz

Skz x reader who was in a toxic relationship before them

Synopsis: In which you experience love, the real kind, for the first time.

Warnings: major tw for trauma in terms of mental and physical violence done by a significant other. Please don’t read if this triggers you.

a/n : this fic was my baby for a long time. Now it’s yours, please look after it. I pray it brings some comfort to you!🫶🏼

Chan:

He feels honored that you choose him to be apart of your life.

Doesn’t pry too much when you bring up your past. If you want to tell him you will and he’s content with that.

He finds you so incredibly intoxicating. He can’t believe that someone would ever treat you badly. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re always happy.

Literally so in love with your more childlike/ whimsical view of the world now that you two are together. Your personality definitely changed for the better once you met him and realized that being safe should be a prerequisite in a relationship.

Minho:

Doesn’t ask about your past relationship much. Mostly relies on you telling him about it when you feel comfortable enough.

Absolutely at your service!!! If you’re having particularly unpleasant or difficult feelings or are in your own head he’s at your beck and call. Whether that’s cooking for you, feeding you (which you won’t admit you like) or even leaving you alone for a bit.

The babies (his cats) are by your side 24/7 to ground you and get you out of your head because “ they wouldn’t want their mom to be sad.”

Changbin:

Cannot fathom the idea of someone hurting you in any way whatsoever without wanting to beat them up.

Unlike Minho, Changbin will not leave you alone if you’re having a particularly bad day. He thinks you’re so precious so he will never leave your side even in a particularly bad situation.

Binnie gives the best cuddles!!!! I am 100% convinced. Cuddling is a must! It’s like free therapy. (He, himself is free therapy but wbk) his hugs and cuddles make you forget about what’s going on in your head bc binnie’s cuddles make everything better.

Hyunjin:

He’s appalled that someone could treat another human with disrespect and violence let alone you!

He’s your number one fan in everything you do. Celebrates your small wins just as grandly as the big ones. Oh you ate breakfast today. Suddenly your name and “I’m so proud of you” is all he knows how to say.

Paints with you. Yk when you put the canvases parallel to each other and paint something for the other person. Yeah you guys do that all the time as a grounding technique but also just as a way to show love to one another.

Jisung:

He’s so good at reading body language!!!!!! He is absolutely crushed when things like holding your hand or stretching his hand out to touch your cheek make you flinch, not because he’s mad or angry at you but rather at the person who ever dared to treat you this way.

Wdym personal space? Hannie’s never heard of it. He’s so good at getting you out of you head. He knows what triggers you and sometimes know when something will trigger you before you do.

He’s so attentive bc why wouldn’t he be when he has you to look after. This boy loves you so much and he shows it every day.

Felix:

Bakes for you!!!!!! Sometimes you two bake together but he usually does it in advance to you telling him you need a little extra love today.

So in love with you. Tries to show you the beauty that you are because you haven’t felt beautiful till you met him. “Oh baby you look even more gorgeous than you did yesterday, I didn’t even know that was possible.”

You remind him of sunshine and he reminds you of the sun. Clearly neither of you can exist without the other.

Seungmin:

He is super playful and witty naturally but he tones down the more mocking side for your particularly hard days. He loves you in ways that you didn’t know you could be loved.

On regular days though you two share a similar sense of humor. He loves that about you. Never lets it go too far though.

Absolutely a sucker for you. The boys tease him for being soft for you but he doesn’t care. You’re his baby and he doesn’t care who sees that.

Jeongin:

This boy is so whipped for you. He always listens to you even if what you have to say is something he has no idea about. It feels so amazing to have someone listen to you. To truly listen. He makes it look easy even though listening and not interrupting is quite hard.

He’s not a big fan of skinship but your hands are always within his and he loves it. He’s genuinely so feral for it but you don’t need to know that.

He’ll make sure to show you how someone treats someone they love every day. He’s so attentive and that makes going to him whether it’s with a problem or just to talk so easy because you know there’s no judgment from him.

[damiansgoodgirll]

Hiii I love Ur judgment day x readers they are so adorable

Could you please write a JD (Platonic) x Reader where Y/n gets in a bad fight with their partner and they comfort them

the judgment day x reader (platonic)

���️cheating and gaslighting, your bf name in this is alexander bc my ex name is alexander and now i hate alexanders

(i love this pic btw)

i don’t wanna love

“you’re overacting!” your boyfriend alexander kept screaming at you.

overreacting?

“so you’re telling me there’s nothing between the two of you? that i’ve been hallucinating for the past month?” you screamed back, tired of trying talking with him.

“there’s nothing between me and her” he said, lying. because of course you had the proofs that he was cheating, that he was seeing someone else while you were out touring.

“how can i fucking believe you when i have proofs!”

“what proofs?” he asked, not caring about the whole cheating part.

“the pictures of you two together? the messages? the-…”

“you went over my phone without even asking me?” he was angrier that before.

“i did! because you wouldn’t tell me the truth! you can’t deny what i just found!”

“okay, fine! i cheated, is that what you wanted me to say? i did it, and i wasn’t proud of it but you were always gone and i was here alone waiting for you every week to come home, i got tired and i wanted to have some fun and one night i went to this club where i met her, and she was always there for me, it wasn’t just sex, there was a connection…she understood me, she was there when you were out wrestling with your friends!” he said, not feeling guilty at all.

you couldn’t believe he was blaming him cheating on you on the fact that you were away from home because of your job.

“i can’t believe it that you are blaming your fucking childish behaviour on me being away because of my job!”

“i needed you and you weren’t there!” he kept screaming.

“so the best solution was fucking some bitch you met at the bar uh?” you were done with it “you have ten minutes to pack your things and get out of my house!”

“what are you talking about? where am i supposed to go?” he asked you.

“i don’t know, ask my replacement if you can stay at her’s, i don’t care, now, move before i call the police. this is my house, do you remember?” you said locking yourself in the guest bedroom and waiting for him to be over with packing.

you were sure you heard him closing the door once he was done packing and leaving your house. you were too tired to even go back into the master bedroom that you cried yourself to sleep right where you were.

the morning after you were supposed to go at rhea’s as you guys needed to prepare your upcoming match but you were drained and had no energy. you felt like shit and all you wanted to do was staying in bed and cry.

the team immediately knew something was up when you didn’t show up at her place. so instead of calling your or texting, you found them in front of your door.

“what are you doing here?” you asked them.

“we were worried. you didn’t show up, you didn’t call or text, we thought you were sick or that something happened…wait, were you crying?” rhea stopped when she saw your red eyes.

“no” you lied.

“whats going on love?” finn soft voice almost made you want to cry again. he always had a soft spot for you, treating you like a daughter.

“i just…i wanna be alone today…now, can you please go?” you almost begged them but they got it as an invitation to come inside so now you found yourself with your friends sitting on your couch, waiting for an explanation from you.

“what is going on uh?” damian asked you again.

“alexander and i broke up…” you whispered and waited for them to talk but they let you continue “he was cheating on me and i found out…instead of apologising he blamed it on me, saying that it was my fault because i was away touring and he needed me here…i just…what did i do wrong?” you cried again and now rhea was sitting next to you, holding you in her arms.

“you didn’t do anything wrong y/n…” she whispered.

“he was saying how much he wanted to marry me, to have a family with me just to find out that he was fucking someone else behind my back…it fucking hurts because i was ready to be with him for the rest of my life…i really loved him” you cried harder and rhea swore that alexander was a dead man.

“hey…” finn, the parental figure inside the whole group sweet talked to you “it’s not worth it…crying for him? it’s not worth it, he’s not worth it…i know you’re hurting right now and it will hurt for a while but eventually it’ll pass…it’ll get better, trust me…”

“thank you…” you whispered.

still crying in rhea’s arms as she let you. you never experienced such heartbreak and the pain you were feeling was too much.

“i just don’t understand how it went so downhill…everything was going perfectly…i would have noticed if something was wrong but i swear, everything looked normal” you cried.

“it’s not your fault love” finn said.

“finn’s right, you couldn’t have noticed…if he was acting normal, you couldn’t have noticed the sudden changes in his persona…i’m so sorry it happened to you, you don’t deserve it…” dominik said while sitting on the carpet, in front of you.

“i swear… i don’t wanna fall in love anymore” hearing such words coming from you hurt the group. you’ve always been the sweet and romantic one, you’ve always dreamed of a fairytale life and now you believed everything was a lie.

rhea looked sad “don’t say that love, it’s just a phase but you will feel better, i promise you”

of course. you were complaining about your disastrous love life with dom, who just got married, rhea, who’s gonna get married soon, finn, who’s been married for years and damian, someone that wasn’t looking for love and couldn’t understand anything about love.

“it’s easy coming from you…you’re all happy and in a healthy relationship, you all trust each other and i’m pretty sure you’ve never been cheated on” you regretted immediately saying that but you were hurting.

“we had our painful break ups too honey…” rhea said. she knew you were hurting so she didn’t mind it.

“did they cheat on you?” you asked them.

“no but…”

“exactly” you said, drowning your head in your pillows.

“what rhea was trying to say is that break ups are always hurtful, whether you get cheat on or not…and this pain you’re feeling, will get better, in a month or two you’ll be feeling better…” damian spoke softly to you. knowing that you were already in pain and that he didn’t want to upset you more.

“we will leave you alone if you want to…” rhea said, not wanting to leave you alone but she knew you probably needed time for yourself.

“no please…” you said shocking everyone.

“okay…then we’ll stay here…we can watch a movie if you want to” finn suggested and you all agreed.

“no rom com please” you said making them laugh.

rhea’s idea was to watch a horror movie but while they were all watching the movie you ended up falling asleep, too tired for all the tears you’ve been crying.

[taytrashmouth]

HIII!!!! could u do prompt 1 w peeta I think it would fit his character so well bc he’s actually the sweetest boy ever (also I love ur pfp robin lovers rise!!)

It so would!!!! Okay I love this!

Omg thank you! Robin slays- we should have a club…

Prompt 1: you’re being all cute and sweet and it’s making me want to kiss you

I hope you enjoy! This is just tooth rotting fluff.

Roses and kisses

Peeta Mellark x reader

Peeta was the perfect boyfriend. You realised this really early on in your relationship.

When you mentioned that you liked the smell of roses, the next day he was in your front yard planting rose bushes. You almost cried when you found out he came over every morning to trim, care for and water them.

You often visited him in the victors village, and today was a short, but difficult walk there. You were having the worst cramps which you mentioned to Peeta this morning when he tended to your roses.

“Peeta!” You called as you entered his home.

“Upstairs bathroom!” He yelled back and you began to walk upstairs.

When you turned into the room tears immediately filled your eyes. He had run you a bath, with rose petals floating in the water.

“Peeta-“ you could barely say anything.

“You said you had cramps…and I don’t know much about that stuff but I asked Katniss and she said heat helped sometimes so I ran you a bath.” He explained, completely oblivious to how perfect he was.

When you first started dating Peeta you were worried because of how the Capitol made it seem like he and Katniss had something going. But how could you be, he was so loyal and trustworthy.

“Thank you.” Tears fell from your eyes, more emotional today than any other.

“You don’t like it?” He asked, laced with concern.

“No no! Peeta…it’s perfect, you’re perfect. It’s just so nice and nobody has ever done something so sweet for me before.” You explained.

“Hey it’s okay.” He held you so tightly as he hugged you, stroking your hair. He didn’t mind if you cried on his shirt or were emotional. He was there for you.

“Well I’ll wait downstairs.” He smiled.

“No…you don’t have to leave.” You blurted out.

He nodded.

“I won’t look.” He stated as you pulled at the hem of your shirt. He looked at his feet while you got undressed. You hadn’t gotten there yet.

“I don’t mind if you look, Peeta.” You told him, his slowly raised his gaze. His eyes did a quick search of your naked body but they locked onto your eyes. It was small gestures like that, the ones he didn’t even know he was doing.

“Probably shouldn’t do this today.” Gesturing to yourself. “I’m all bloated and gross-“ you tried to explain.

“You’re so beautiful n/n” he stated just above a whisper. He was the only one that called you n/n. You smiled softly. How did you get so lucky.

You climbed in the bath, the water was so warm and soothing.

You spoke for a while, before Peeta offered to wash your hair.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to-“ he was nervous. “I want to.” You replied with a smile.

He massaged your head to gently, making sure soap didn’t go into your eye. He covered every inch of your head with soap and used a bowl to help rinsing it out. He used his hand as a shield from the water. Treating you with more care than you ever had. He finished by smoothing your hair back and softly kissing your forehead.

He was perfect.

He went downstairs to let you change and when you walked into the kitchen he was buttering some steamy bread.

“I thought you’d be hungry, so I made bread before you came. It just came out the oven.” He handed you a plate.

You could do nothing except smile at this perfect boy. “Thank you. It smells delicious.” You spoke as you took a bite of the soft bread. Warm butter on your lips.

“Holy shit!” You smiled widely. He smiled to himself, proud of his work.

“What do you wanna do today?” Peeta asked.

“Can we maybe just lie down. Rest.” You asked.

He smiled and nodded.

When you had eaten about six slices of bread, Peeta didn’t make a comment about how much you ate, he simply asked if you wanted him to make more.

Soon enough you were upstairs in his room. He walked into the on suite to drain the bath water before he lay down.

“Shit.” He spoke as he walked out of the bathroom, shirt covered in water. He obviously leaned to far forward when draining the water.

“Oh no.” You stood up, that’s when he saw you had changed into one of his plain t-shirts and your underwear.

“Wow.” He breathed out. “You’re really beautiful.” He told you so genuinely.

You smiled. Looking at him with nothing but love.

“Peeta…you’re being all cute and sweet and it’s making me want to kiss you.

He smiled shyly, blush touching his cheeks.

“Okay.”

You kissed him gently but passionately. Holding his cheeks.

When you pulled away he smiled with swollen lips, the sight made you giggle.

“Change you’re shirt and come cuddle.” You made grabby hands from the bed after you sat back down.

He looked nervous. “ I won’t look.” You assured him. He looked eternally grateful.

Peeta had told you before, he was littered with scars from the games, from his parents. He hated it. He was really insecure. He knew you would love him no matter what he looked like but it was still scary. He could barely look at himself in the mirror.

You turned to face the other way.

You heard some movement before you heard his voice again.

“N/n.”

You waited a second before turning around to see his bare chest. You smiled. Sure enough there were scars everywhere.

He looked at the ground, he looked nervous, more than you think you’d seen him before.

“You’re really handsome.” You told him and lifted his chin, stroking his cheek when you approached.

He smiled too.

“Thank you for showing me.” You smiled at him brightly. Teary again, it was a big deal.

You squeezed his hand to let him know it was okay.

You pulled him into his soft bed and you both lay entangled in each other. Your head on his bare chest and he played with your hair.

“Is this okay.” You asked as traced one of his scars.

He hesitated before nodding.

“You don’t have to say yes.” You say up slightly.

“I know. Don’t stop…it’s nice.” He held your head back to his chest and continued.

“Thank you for today.” You whispered. He answered simply with a kiss on your head.

Requests are open please send them in

[lunarw0rks]

cod dudes with a nurse y/n but make it lowkey realistic: bc lets be real, after a 12 hr shift you do NOT want to hang out with friends, party, or socialize. ur feet hurt from walking and standing all day, your ears are tired from hearing the IV pumps beep all day, and the smell of C.diff makes u want to vomit. nurse y/n just wants to sit down or lay on the couch and be non-verbal... Gaz, price, and rudy are the sweetest. they pick that up real quick after mistakenly asking "hows ur shift" and y/n trauma dumped them for 5 hrs straight. they don't immediately ask for hugs and kisses bc they know u overwhelmed. they just pour u a cup of wine and sit next to you until YOU talk to them first. you lowkey gossip with them on ur day off or randomly be like "omg look at that dude over there next to the parking spot its giving edema". and then theres soap and ghost. Soap is clingy, yall really think hes gonna survive 12hrs of not seeing you? this man was waiting by the door at 7:15 pm. on the dot. wants to hug and kiss you and tell you about his day. but ur just so. fucking. tired. you tried to be as responsive but it always ended up with a tired "mhm". He legit got upset a few times but he'd be a good sport about it tho. eventually he caught on a couple of weeks in and now he just comes and hugs you from behind, kisses ur face, and cuddles you silently (AFTER you throw away ur dirty scrubs and shower. that C.diff smell is yucky yucky). Tells you he appreciates your care and effort for the patients every day :). Ghost.... omgg he said something lowkey offensive to you right after u got home from the worst shift of ur week. and he didnt even know WHAT he said/did, hes kinda bad a picking up ur cues. nurse y/n just turned around slowly, gave him the NASTIEST side eye, and stared at him for a good 2.5 min. This man immediately retreated from ur couch to wherever he was b4 like a hermit going back to its shell lmao. 2 hrs later you find a small written note and ur fave gurl dinner on the dining table.

Alejandro..... this man is SO PROUD of his s/o being a nurse. hes showing you off every chance he gets!!! He takes Nursing week SERIOUSLY. give you massages, spas, gifts, ect. but he doesnt get how tired and overwhelmed you are. you have to physically tell him to stop asking or letting his family asking medical question. "No ale. I will NOT look at auntie's mole on her stomach. when im off the clock im OFF THE CLOCK :("

Valeria threatens to beat up the management for you lol. she hates how you get treated by them sometimes. you didnt get the recognition you deserve. Def bosses her cartel men around to buy you gifts and such. one time she organized a whole day to spoil and pamper you. she gave you her own version of Daisy Award 🥺💞 Konig observes and internally analyzes ur every move. he panics tho. like "OMG she home but she already has a bottle of wine its different from the one she had yesterday.. omg omg she didnt even say hello that means her shifts was extra shitty today.... why is she sipping on the wine for so long and the last sip is longer than all previous sips........" He eventually learned you just need silent company. you were laying on the bed feeling burned out when he came over with some soup, kissed ur hand, and wrapped you in a blanket burrito :).

ah, realistic nurse!y/n. this is a breath of fresh air for me.

they're all trying their best. and honestly, what better pair? they also have an overstimulating, kinda gross (blood and bodily fluids), exhausting career !!

it's a match made in heaven !! (aside from the whole... miscommunication and barely seeing each other thing. but what's a good ship without some gut-wrenching angst?)

[wonyopout]

SOFT SUB YUJIN THAT HAS A PRAISE KINK—

she’s soooo baby.. always looking to you for approval. the way you alway praise her on her accomplishments whether big or small makes yujin putty in your hands. even though she Loves the praise she always gets so so shy when she receives it, face going bright red and her ears burning. sticks her face in the crook of your neck bc baby gets so overwhelmed and she can’t meet your eyes when you call her “mommy’s good girl” 🤭 you’ll be doing something simple like baking, praising her the whole way through, every thing she does is followed by a “good job baby!” or “such a good girl!” and it’s innocent enough but yujin is so painfully hard it’s a little embarrassing.. you, of course, know exactly what kind of effect the praise has on her. looking down to see yujins not so little problem.. her gasping when you palm at her bulge

“do you need mommy’s help yujinie?”

her staring at you with wide eyes as she nods furiously. contemplating making her beg for it but you were feeling nice today. dragging her over to the couch and sitting her down before you drop to your knees in front of her. pulling her pants and boxers down, poor thing so hard her dick slaps against her lower tummy. her tip bright red and leaking precum. she whines so loud when you grip the base of her dick, giving the head kitten licks and small pecks making her buck her hips up and chase your warm mouth 🥴 bobbing your head up and down her shaft, gagging a little each time you take her down your throat. pulling back till just the heads in your mouth, making yujin groan when you start swirling your tongue around it, pumping the rest of her length in your hand. you can tell she’s close by the way she’s gripping the couch, but she’s holding off, waiting for your permission like the good girl she is 🥺🥺 “go ahead, cum lots”, is all you need to say before she comes with a whine all over your hands and face, her thighs shaking as she slurs out quiet thank yous.

if you two are apart she’ll always text or call you to ask if you saw their latest performance. she has to stop herself from squealing when you tell her how much you loved it and how well she did.

“you did so good baby! i’m really proud of you.”

“really?? what parts did i do well..?”

yujins trying to be coy when she asks you to sing her praises.. and you take the bait of course. every so often hearing her moan lowly or whine on the other end of the phone, hand wrapped tightly around her dick tugging at it mindlessly. her clumsily getting herself off as you praise every aspect of her performance. she always trys her hardest because she always aims to do well for her fans, and because you always promise her a lil treat…

[alicepooryorick]

New excerpt from my Shiva fic BC I'm so proud of it still! Trying to figure out what end game is fully but I'm really enjoying writing this thing.

"Why are you here?"

Barbara said that differently than everyone else. Every other time it had been said to her lately, it wasn't a question, it was a disguised command: "go away Shiva" as if they had power over her. Barbara, Barbara said it as something different. The words, her body, they read to Shiva that Barbara was surprised Shiva chose to show up today. That Shiva had decided to choose to see Barbara on a day where she didn't need to. "Are you ok?" Is what she meant.

Shiva was fine. She'd just wanted to come bother Barbara. Talk about the trick they were playing a bit more; negotiations she'd heard were important for any relationship. Surely for a fake one too.

"I wanted to talk, about us."

"What do you mean?"

"The fake relationship. I am having fun, but how far do you want to go, Barbara? Do we do fake dates?"

Barbara stared at Shiva, blinking. Shiva had once again won this conversation.

"Shiva, is this what..."

"This about Dick's reaction. What's the nicest he did? We should do better." Shiva was grinning, this bit was a great excuse to do things she'd never justify otherwise. Wasn't that she'd never been to nice restaurants, they just sucked when going alone or with someone who shook at the site of you or worshipped your steps. Shiva tended to prefer simple, normal places. Places where they didn't ask questions, she had a favorite shawarma place here in Gotham. The people behind the counter had no idea who she was but grinned when they saw her. She'd kill any of their enemies for them if they needed, but she suspected they had no enemies.

"I don't know... He wasn't lacking on money. Probably the Wayne Galas?"

"Boring."

"They were nice! I still go."

"Exactly. If the nicest he did you do without him, it was not very nice. We should go to someplace fancy and make sure the Bats know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I have plenty of funds, we should do it."

"I do too."

"Yes but I will treat you, make sure the cover is solid."

"One of us has to pay in that case, you don't have to."

"It is my idea. I will pay."

"Ok fine."

[oneforthemunny]

Please Please PLease

Rank your spanking works ;)

oh???? oh!!!!!!

you want me to chose absolute insanity today hm?? ok fine. i will try.

10. curiosity killed the cat - with mafia!eddie and reader (kitten... get it? get the title lmao). i really enjoyed this one, but i feel like it's one of the shorter pieces i did. very fun, shows their dynamic very well.

9. candy caned - a special christmas holiday smut special with dom!eddie. honestly, would be ranked higher but i'm a little jarred at this whole work. not bc of anyone other than myself, i just had big plans to do all 12 before christmas and got so busy i didn't get to. still loved it and it was so fun to me!

8. take as needed - a newer work and one i had been working on forever lol. i like the idea of the emotional release spanking with bouncer!eddie and bartender!reader. that it was something she asked for and he did. very intimate to me i loved it.

7. hard learning - honestly, one of my favorites and longest fics. dom!steddie x sub!reader is not something i usually write for but them??? i loved them. i wrote this while i was in school too, so it was very much so a self indulgent piece.

6. hold your horses - the first (??) cowboy!eddie fic???? and therefore it holds a special place in my heart forever. also self indulgent bc i am a speeder lol.

5. treat me rough - will forever be one of my faves. rockstar!eddie and nb!reader domesticated but yet still horny and kinky??? sorry, it will always be one of my faves. them slutty and fun is a weakness to me, but this??? together, established, in love, and still kinky and fun??

4. switching it up- all the switching talk maybe is why this one has been on my mind, but this was born from a horny hour with dom!eddie that was my renaissance on here. my roman empire. my peak, and this was the product of it <3

3. light my morning sky - another goodie from rockstar!eddie and nb. their (second) wedding night in vegas?? drunk and in love?? horny??? infatuated?? the heart shaped paddle as a wedding gift?? it's so sexy and silly and fun!

2. marish hysteria - by far my pride and joy as far as spanking fics, almost my number one. cowboy!eddie?? and it took so long to finish. i was so proud of it and i love every second of it, enjoyed writing every second of it.

car troubles- the reigning champ tho will always be this one with dom!eddie. from the same horny hours as before, but this one sparked the spanking rage on my page lol. genuinely, was so easy to write bc i feel like we all wrote it together??? i got so many asks, suggestions, my inbox was FULL!!! i love it, feels like a community piece and therefore is number one in my heart.

[suzannahnatters]

OKAY I finished Love Like the Galaxy today so here are my live reaccs to eps 28-42 (originally posted on Bluesky). Putting them under a cut because they run long!!!

oh man this scene!!! I've seen the same kind of scene play out so often with all the apologising done by the fml and none by the mml…but in this one she tells him her attitude towards him will depend on HIS future actions, and then HE GIVES HER A SNACK our boy is Doing the Work I am proud of him

and now: he will quietly support and encourage her while she seeks to deal with her social enemies in her own way??? I LOVE IT SO MUCH ?? exquisite

we get a look at poor Wang Ling's family and this really could be Overbearing Asian Mothers: The Historical Drama

I can sympathise with NN and Murder General because if I too had someone share a forehead kiss with me I would not be able to sleep all night either

deeply thrilled that NN now gets to do the Dramatic Swooping In To Save Someone - and oh look she's got a maternal figure who's actually kind and loving to her now :')

Oh my, I love how every time he tries to tell her not to get involved in something bc of deep waters, she makes the point that she really needs to do the thing, and he LISTENS. Every time he says "this is for your own good" she claps back with why it's better for her to know & be involved.

This is the platonic ideal of cdramas for me

I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to find Consort Yue to be awesome or intolerable but she's leaning intolerable for me with this public haranguing of all her children (and some of other people's). Glad NN bagged the Empress as her etiquette mentor

Well I didn't expect the money counterfeiting subplot to peak so early but that's terrific, I can do without coinage plots lol

Truly puzzled as to what the show means by all this imperial family drama. The parents seem just as toxic as NN's parents but we're supposed to think it's okay because a) their children had every advantage and some of them still wound up rotten at heart? and b) the town children aren't just committing crimes against family - they're crimes against the empire? I'm afraid the parallels ring a bit hollow to me because I truly think the Emperor and Consort Yue are also terrible parents

Interestingly, Murder General says the Emperor will not treat the counterfeiting as harshly as the law provides "because of fairness". We saw Bad Mum also using "fairness" as an excuse to deny NN things that would benefit her as compared to her cousin. Again, wondering what the parallels are saying.

Bad mum is now having sad violins because NN is finally learning that being a parent is hard…but she's learning from the Empress lol the only thing I have to say to that is SUFFER, MA'AM

NN is now reassuring the Empress that parents who patiently teach rather than criticise their children are the best, & she's been commending the crown Prince for being gentle & compassionate rather than a cold politician, so I'm beginning to wonder if there's a muted critique of the imperial family

This Tiger Tally thing is totally going to be stolen within the next two episodes isn't it

Thanks a lot murder general

ooohh she lied to him and he's big mad about it

"here are all the reasons why your actions have made things worse for me and the people you care about" maybe you should have told her those things first, GENIUS

AHAHAHAHAHAHA now she's saying that exact thing herself I LOVE THIS SHOW

annnnnd the Tiger Tally is gone and it's time for Murder General, Boy Detective! to save the - wait, what is Niao Niao doing here

*ancient Chinese man falls in love with woman for independent spirit and quick wits, horrified when she insists upon using them*

did she,,,did she forge the Tiger Tally lol

Murder general realises he needs to let NN do all the things he fell in love with her for. Congrats Niao Niao you've levelled up and unlocked Tragic And Highly Disturbing Family Reunion

wheeee NN says being filial is only possible if the parents earn it by conducting themselves well if I was murder general I would also be kissing her at this point

pov: you're sitting at your betrothal feast and someone comes in with a message from your absent beloved: "whatever happens next, don't be flustered. shout and scream however you feel is appropriate" the hEcK Zisheng

one of the things that absolutely staggers me about Smug Scholar is that HE doesn't want to get married, least of all to NN, he just wants to make sure nobody else can marry her either

ahhh first Qiqi and Bad Mum are defending her now - and then the Empress turns up? I'm sure murder general had something to do with the Empress, but I love that he's now helping NN solve problems in her own way

all the elders are squabbling and our leads are just chilling affectionately in the background it's hilarious

I mean after they stole the spotlight at Snacks' betrothal feast it's probably fair

Oh no NN is now the Empress' adopted perfect daughter who gets all the attention…and Fifth Princess is NOT happy. More parallels!

"tonight, I'll teach you how to recognise acupoints" is that what they're calling it these days

Murder general is highly trained in the Romance Novel Cover Clinch school of self defence

"from now on, my Gate of Life will be yours" V U L N E R A B I L I T Y

NN is a darling who is determined to protect her Empress' favourite son but girlfriend,,, you do realise you can't babysit this disaster couple through ruling an entire empire don't you

ahahahahaha he's doing the "what am I going to do if you get hurt" thing and she's not having a bar of it

this show just speedrunning all my least favourite tropes with a heroine who Won't Be Flim Flammed and it's BEAUTIFUL

it is time for murder general to go a little unhinged, as a treat drinking tea while listening to the shrieks of his enemies, as you do

I am loving so much, so very much, about this show…but I'm finding the humiliation of the antagonists to be a little too thorough and mean-spirited to enjoy, even tho I can see how it is intended to fit in with the themes of fighting for yourself.

Where does the line between justice and vindictiveness lie, especially in a social setting with injustice hard-baked in? One of the principles of justice (at least in the west) is that it must be proportionate to the crime. But the humiliation dealt out in this show often feels excessive to me.

ep38: every single last one of these people is absolutely bonkers insane, except the Empress

I laughed way harder than I should. I love that NN told two different people to shut up in the emperor's presence. I love that NN has this moment of piercing identification with murder general when she sees him being beaten the way she was. I think the emperor is rubbish, & I think the show knows it

He promises NN that he won't ever lie to her and I have every expectation that this promise will be broken, just like every other cdrama hero breaks that promise

except that I also trust NN to make sure he doesn't get away with it, which is what makes this drama so MUCH fun

murder mystery break!!!! there's all sorts of interesting thematic stuff going on here about communal/family responsibility to educate and socialise children, as well as the difference in appropriate behaviour in the private vs public spheres. But it's fun that our leads are doing it together.

I could not ask for a better Exasperated Watson to NN's Sherlock Holmes than Smug Scholar, whom she now diagnoses with Extreme Sour Grapes in two seconds flat

NN telling the murderer that murder general will naturally let him go in return for NN's safe return…she sure is a tricky one

Of course she had a knife, she's not an IDIOT, Zisheng

Emperor: out of consideration of your family's reduced circumstances I will not be executing you for your part in the cataclysm that left murder general an orphan

murder general: truly epic side eye

all of them are definitely dead

I love murder general because he can turn anything as simple as buying sweets for his fiancée into a production of SPARTACUS

Our girl is dressed as a boy, sneaking around the army camp looking for murder general. Murder General's personal army of beefy warriors is sneaking around the camp trying not to catch Niao Niao while dropping loud hints about where to find his tent. Cdramas, man.

"from now on, you can leave the needlework to me" ling buyi is officially the man of my dreams

well, just as the military expedition around eps 11-12 signalled the end of the first act, so this new expedition feels like it signals the start of the final act. NN and her murder puppy have reached such a situation of love and trust that I can feel the pin approaching the balloon.

he's about to catch peng kun and find out some things, isn't he??? murder party revenge WHEN

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas, stellar anon. Ok so I’ve been waiting weeks for my parents to ask my brother, and my dad did it two days ago, he was whispering, but like he sucks at it, so I was listening basically my dad just asked if the friend was trying to be a girl, and if she asked the friend group to use she/her pronouns, and when it happened. My brother answered all of them, and then my dad asked if she was using a new name, my brother said yeah, she goes by x now, and then my dad asked how he felt about it, and he said idc. My dad then said, ok, you can talk to us abt this stuff and that was it. then my mom came downstairs and my dad relayed the conversation to her after my brother left the room.

I thought that was it, but my brother had his last band concert yesterday, and when me and my sister came home today she asked us if we knew x (she knew my brothers friend new name but she didn’t use it) was trying to become a girl. I said no, bc that seemed like the right thing to do (?) and then she was like , last night at the concert I looked at x’s (still deadnaming her) dad and I prayed, and I pray for our neighbors down the street who’s now y instead of x. These kids are looking for the answers in the wrong places, not just gender identity but drugs and alcohol, and she started crying and said, when I was younger, I acted like a boy, I smelled like one and looked like one, and these days people would’ve assumed I was trans, but I was a girl. (he’s apart of my brother’s friend group and my mom asked about him but my brother just said they weren’t close but they had the same friends) he wore a skirt to the concert, which my mom noticed during the award ceremony ig. He was wearing a white shirt with a suit and tie and jacket and he had like an ankle length skirt with a slit. He also had really long curly hair, like down to his waist, my mom mentioned something about him too but I don’t remember. I mean boys can wear skirts, but they could also be nonbinary or genderfluid or trans idk the right terms. But my brother said that his trans friend was part of a group of trans people and he was the token cis guy, so I assumed j was part of that group, since my brother said they only had the same friends. Idk.

I heard my mom praying this morning about that and about my cousin, who’s a lesbian, and she been married since 2020 and like in her current relationship for 8 years (I think). The issue is my mom isn’t that bad, when my cousin came out my aunt (her mom) said at like a church thing that her daughter being a lesbian was the worst thing that ever happened to her, while she was there. My mom’s side of the family is all refugees for the Vietnam war, and that aunt was like middle school age during that. My mom was invited to the cousin’s reception she didn’t go bc covid. Idk. long, sorry.

Hi!

I'm so sorry your family reacted like that. I just want to say again that I really admire you for realizing those values are wrong, you know? And I'm proud of your brother as well. I hope your family is treating you and your brother okay after all of that?

Sending love!

[redgoldblue]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

tagged by @itwoodbeprefect - i have also been thinking about this so thank you for taking the initiative!

tagging @faorism @gallantrejoinder if you'd care to do this in any form (including as writing/art review)!

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 52,220, apparently. Which is actually... basically last year's but minus 10k because I didn't do H50 Big Bang this year, because med school. most things in my life now can be stated as 'because med school'. (actually I just realised I didn't do it last year either, but that was because I was already finishing a 10k H50 fic. so my point stands)

fics posted: either 6 or 29, depending on whether one counts the advent calendar as one fic or 24. plus 3 posted only on Tumblr.

first fic: love don't treat you like that (babe, I'm letting you know) (H50). on the NINTH of january, apparently. i've already lost my first-fic-of-the-year contest to last year, unless i unexpectedly finish something today.

last fic: Advent Calendar 2023 / ...Zaph Kilkane, the pre-eminent climate scientist of the 22nd century...

-

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

would you believe I literally did not repeat a fandom this year, outside of the advent calendar. and this year's AC had the most fandoms since 2019.

Hawaii Five-0 (McDanno)

NCIS: LA (Sallen)

Starsky & Hutch (S/H)

House MD (Hilson)

MASH (Punnihawk)

and then AC-only ones:

Star Trek (Spirk)

The Man From UNCLE (Napollya)

911 (Buddie)

Due South (i don't know ship names. are there ship names? Fraser/RayK)

Good Omens (Azcrow)

Leverage (thiefsome)

Almost Paradise (Ernesto/Alex. alesto. i'm coining it)

-

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

I mean, I have 6 posted fics that can be kudosed separately.

love don't treat you like that (babe, I'm letting you know) (H50)

When You're Loving Me (That's When I'm Loving You) (NCIS: LA)

Advent Calendar 2023 (see above. nine fandoms)

my powers of expression and thoughts so sublime / could never do you justice in reason or rhyme (House MD)

Finding A Cure In You (S&H)

-

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

okay, I'm going to count distinct chapters of the advent calendar for this. in no particular order and subject to mood change:

When You're Loving Me (That's When I'm Loving You) (NCIS: LA) - I cited this as a contender for my favourite fic I've written a couple months ago, so obviously it has to go in the year's. what can i say, fake dating is an immaculate trope, and this also all came onto the page very easily which is always vaguely miraculous.

there you go pulling me right back in (H50) - sometimes vague prompts i've had down for ages write up as something that's. fine, but a bit clunky, and I just have to move on bc it's the advent calendar and a new fic each day. sometimes I start writing them and they spring into life with joyous delight. or in this case, uninhibited grumpiness and love.

singing yesterday's songs wishing i could be with you tonight (MASH) - the one that didn't make it into the top 5 kudosed, I assume partially due to being locked and partially due to being a serious tone, not terribly shippy, and Peg POV. But I've had some version or other of it for a long time, it's one of those stories I'm genuinely proud of, and I was glad to finally post it.

Totally Normal (Due South) - it's fun. it was fun. I was slightly nervous about it, because the only prior Due South thing I'd written was Dief POV and this was Fraser and RayK POV and the first time writing either of those, but it turns out watching + liveblogging four and two seasons, respectively, of a character in four months is. enough to cement their voices in my head. it was unexpectedly easy and also. fun.

Festive Spice (MUNCLE) - i just think it epitomises the advent calendar. in the words of coolbreezemage, 'yesssss bake cakes and kiss your partner'.

HMs:

Finding A Cure In You (S&H) - this doesn't make it to the above list due to the fact that I haven't actually managed to reread it since I posted it. but just for the amount of time I spent with it, how different it is to my usual M.O. of writing, and the weird way I wrote it (entirely in the notes app, with almost zero rereading while writing), I have to somehow mention it.

A Thousand Words / To Be Spared (Good Omens) - I don't know if they're favourite but I do think they're good. and the format of to be spared was pleasingly experimental and i think it worked.

-

Fandom Fic Events 🤝

also the Starsky & Hutch SHarecon zine! which the zine still holds copyright on, but will be posted in April.

-

Projects for 2024 👀

mmm gonna sort this differently and also ramble

Ones that will definitely be finished in 2024 and if they aren't you have free rein to come to my house and tie me to a chair come November: MUNCLE wip, The Unwitting Truth Affair/The Honesty Affair, I haven't actually decided which title yet;

Starsky & Hutch, the still-unnamed Huggy & Pete wip.

Ones I have both hope and some amount of faith will be finished in 2024 and if they aren't you have free rein to come into my inbox and harass me about them: Hawaii Five-0 wip, Much Ado About Something (*salutes squares*);

other Hawaii Five-0 wip, state of disrepair. yes, I'm manifesting state of disrepair 2024. probably november/december 2024, but i'm manifesting it anyway;

Leverage wip, all that I want is a kind heart to haunt

Ones I would like to be finished in 2024, and if my brain decides it likes them might be, but all you have free rein for is to politely ask me about them once per business month: Hawaii Five-0 cath/steve/danny pwp, Wait A Minute Let Me Take You There;

horny S&H wip, Previews Of Your Body Driving Me Insane;

S&H Vanessa coda, so cordial / so rotten (don't ask me);

Good Omens wip, love won't you be as you've always been

Ones I don't expect to finish in 2024 but would like to get some words down in: angsty S&H wip, Relentless As The Rain;

ridiculous undercover H50 wip, Four Seasons of Love;

other ridiculous H50 wip, The Irritating, Annoying, Infuriating, (Effective) Seduction Techniques of One Steven J. McGarrett;

SPN ..wip? depending on the time limit on 'progress'?, Smells Like Turpentine.

vague thoughts: i'd like to write a full-length (for whatever value of that. the AC ones actually were full-length, especially the second one, but what I really mean is AC-independent) due south fic. they're very weird and i enjoyed writing them, and I'd also like to write something with RayV in it. maybe if I successfully inspired @itwoodbeprefect to write new ds, when she does that it will inspire me to write something, and we can set up a ping-pong game. no, wait, that's mixing fandoms.

I expect more MUNCLE fic. this one's already 3.5k and rocketing along, and i'm only two-thirds of the way through season 1. what form that will take i don't know at this stage but we'll see.

....i was discussing the vague concept of house/h50 crossover fic with squares literally yesterday and on the one hand I haven't written a crossover since 2014 and also don't want that to be my legacy, but on the other hand i think there is at least a 50% chance it's going to stick in the back of my brain and keep niggling.

[fierceawakening]

Oh my god?

Like, I felt for several weeks like realizing I’m actually hurt by how my mom treated me was kind of bad rather than good. Like I’m just sad and it didn’t actually change anything. Just made me Negative and Judgy (and maybe even Ableist.)

But today I was thinking, and I felt really upset with myself bc the apartment is a mess and I don’t like that and she saw it, and I felt like I wanted to fix it but couldn’t come up with a good reason why I should

And I thought about how the last time I did what I felt was a good job cleaning, it was because I explicitly told myself “don’t do it her way, her way feels impossible”

And guys I swear I just?? Cleaned half the mess up right then and there? And feel like I have more to do but kind of… proud?

Like, the problem is it’ll never be clean enough for her not to insult, so why bother?

But if I’m not thinking of her at all, then the question becomes not whether I’m willing to give up my whole Saturday to ma6be get a compliment out of someone mean. It becomes what do I want? What do I feel uncomfortable with about this mess?

That I can fix, or start to fix and actually notice I’m doing some of it and not feel so discouraged I go do something else.

Maybe it is okay to tell myself what she does isn’t okay. Maybe it will help in the end.

[rainbowcrowley]

despite the shitty day and the triggers and traumatic flashbacks that i had to endure today...

i stood up for myself. i said something in the face of injustice and i fought back (as best i could) bc i was being treated poorly. and i'm proud of that.

i did the right thing.

[r-ene]

day 27/366

left while the moon's still up and had our final proposal defense today and in my opinion, it was great because see, the title in itself seems very complex to do so yk i wasn't sure but i wanted to bet it's gonna be a really great research that's why i quickly agreed when my friend wanted me to hop in their group (i was able to overlook their progress from before when they did the initial proposal defense up to chapter 3 bc my friend wanted me to proofread and all)

so, even though there's a lot of revisions to do, i feel it would make the research much better since it's RT focused now. the first one was said to be something we should reserve for med school dissertation, hahaha.

anddd since yesterday i haven't been feeling well. aside from frequent allergies (sneezing, runny nose), i had a bad body ache ?? and to this day i still have half of that aches and got a low grade fever so i felt sleepy the whole day but i was proud of myself for being resilient(?) In a sense that when we presented i kept a good composure and a clear mind so we could answer to the panel's questions and whatnots

also made a checklist from the voice recording i made from the defense as to not miss some of the points the panelists made regarding the beautification of the study soon after the defense ended (bc i planned to sleep when i get home, which i did)

the commute home was very quick, less than an hour and i wanted to treat myself to some ice cream so i went the longer walking route home to enjoy my watermelon ice cream, took a pic of this cat and talked to other cats and happily made my way home, spending the last of my energy until i crashed on our couch and slept for... 3 hours ??

[halfmoth-halfman]

OMGGG I'm sure you've heard this so much but the finale was SO GOOD HOLY SHIT. I started the fic a couple days ago and had to take a break from it bc angst was getting to me BUT I WAS SICK TODAY AND I BINGED THE ENTIRE THING AND HOLY FUCKING WOAH THAT WAS DIABOLICALLY GOOD.

ANYWAY I just had an idea for the epilouge:

you could make it so she's standing in her fathers office, just looking around the place and soaking in memories, when suddenly his fucking GHOST appears out of nowhere (like in that one chapter) and berates her for letting Graves treat her like that/letting his estate get fucked up - then she fucking DRILLS into him and he finally admits that hes proud of her or something. also I feel like if Canary brings up therapy to him he'd be like "what the fuck i did NOT raise you to be a pussy 😐💀"

also I kinda want more ghost content in the epilouge. i want that man to go to therapy WITH canary and they both vent about their problems and the therapist is just sitting there like "😨"

AAAAAAA YAY I'M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT!!!!!

i know it def gets intense during the second half, but that's why i want to make sure there's an extra fluffy ending to make up for all the nonsense canary had to go through!!

saldkjasd adler does strike me as the kind of guy who would be like "you don't need therapy??? i never got therapy and i'm fine" while he is very clearly not fine. like i don't think he'd ever say canary was weak for getting therapy, but it's more like it's just something that he would never have considered.

ghost def needs therapy, but i think that's something he'd have to do on his own or would only feel comfortable going with support from soap or maybe roach. i can def see him getting the push to go while looking for therapists for canary tho!!! but i feel like if he and canary went together to the same therapist then that might be a bit too much for one person to handle LOL

[kairiscorner]

hiii super sorry about the guy :( in any case did he have any traits that you liked??? maybe what happened was just a misunderstanding :(

hi bestie <:)) so basically umm here's the list of crimes he committed towards me and my friend:

@xoxo-cha can back me up on this

he was such a master manipulator tbh, like he really fooled me and my friend into thinking he was a green flag, but no, he really wasn't. so many of the people from his old friend group could attest to this; he was constantly chatting with other girls on ig, claiming he was in the "talking stage" with most of them, and i heard there were 4 of us that he was flirting with at the same time? (me, my friend, and 2 other people)

i fell for him after like, a week (very bad move on my part, but you have to understand, i had convinced myself that i am a red flag magnet due to the men who've liked me and i've liked before, to have someone treat me like that pretty much made me fall for him faster) but on the same day he caught on to my feelings for him, i found out that my friend was just being used by him to get close to me.

my friend was told by the people from his old friend group that he was really a red flag, he used my friend to get close to me (HE FUCKING ADMITTED IT TO THEM ALL PROUDLY DURING DISMISSAL, THEY ALL ASKED HIM WHY HE DID THAT, AND HE JUST SMILED.) and he used her MONEY as well (my friend is a very generous person, they love treating people, but this fucker never showed any gratitude nor humility towards her.)

i lost feelings for him right away when i found out my friends were being exploited, and it was also confirmed to me by a few of the people in his old friend group that i talked to that he does flirt with other girls outside of our school.

long story short, this wasn't a misunderstanding, because so many people at our school, class, and other friend groups can attest to his bullshit. i liked several traits about him, like i said, he was just my type and more through the personality he showed me—but behind the scenes, he was an evil piece of shit.

also, he told me over chat that he'd explain his side to me and apologize to me and my friend, though he barely approached me and my friend the whole day yesterday EXCEPT during lunch when he asked to talk to me in private (this shit fucking scared me bc, knowing he was a manipulative bastard now, i feared he might try something risky on me when my friends weren't looking) but my friends got me away from him and excused me, so i didn't talk to him (nor do i plan to, because i'm not able to believe another word out of his mouth).

my friend that he manipulated was NEVER apologized to, not even today at school (yes, he tried to approach me again, but my friend got me away from him). THEY had to approach HIM, not the other way around, which is truly fucked up in my opinion, because i feel like he had zero intention of apologizing to them. it sucks because i liked the guy who was nice to me, listened to me, called me cute, carried my stuff for me, was proud of me for my test scores, was willing to let me do anything with him—but i regret nothing by losing my feelings for him when he can't even treat my friends as people.

another thing to hate him for (this was confirmed by the very people he spoke to about this and witnessed him): my friend confessed to him, and he let her down easily while they were talking. i thought he was gonna be cool about it because he seemed all nice and considerate, BUT THEN HE FUCKING WENT TO THE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND SPOKE TO THEM ALL PROUDLY LIKE, "guess what? (kairi's friend) confessed to me." and he said it in such a hotshot way that gives him gaston from beauty and the beast vibes.

so hard to believe i thought this person was like gabriel o'hara irl.

it's only the first sem bitch, fuck off with your assholery.