#as a former teenager I adore them

[tender-sushijima]

spectacular, give me 14 of them rn

[randomness-is-my-order]

while reading the books, i remember wei wuxian’s relationship with jin ling hitting me especially hard. i was crying when the whole stabbing thing happened. but i truly adore what becomes of them and do you know why? because jin ling does something the others could never, something miraculous really––he actually unlearns the prejudice he’s been taught to hold against wei wuxian. he meets wwx, full of disdain, slowly learning about who wwx really is and it has nothing to do with wwx’s outward appearance. and when the truth is revealed, the internal warring for jin ling is plainly portrayed and even if he does give in to a hate intermingled with grief that he has internalised towards this one entity (wei wuxian was never a person in his mind, just the ‘killer’ of his parents, a phantom, before the events of the book happened), you can tell his heart has already turned, that it will keep turning and that’s what happens. you have jin ling, an orphaned child, who hated someone whom his mother loved dearly, because that man caused his parents’ death but it is such a commendable thing that wei wuxian was able to create a space in jin ling’s heart and jin ling was able to accept it. it’s the way both jin ling & jiang cheng blame the death of their parents on wwx but only the former was able to see wei wuxian clearly and actually forge a bond of love with him.

it’s the fact that if ANYONE in this story can actually rightfully hold a grudge against wei wuxian, it’s jin ling, but instead this teenager decides that wei wuxian is much too good and that having him as an uncle is lovely, after all.

[louisupdates]

INTERVIEW: Lottie Tomlinson: we lost our mum and sister. Louis saved me

At the age of 20, the sister of One Direction singer Louis had already lost her mother, Johannah, and sister Félicité. Now 25, the social media star has written a book about how they coped

Alice Thomson | Tuesday July 23 2024, 5.00pm BST, The Times

Losing Mum was so hard. I was only a teenager but at least I knew that her death was a possibility, even though she didn’t accept it. She was 47 and had cancer. But when my sister died three years later, I was on this hotel balcony in Bali and I was screaming, ‘No, my baby sister, no.’ The pain was indescribable. I kept thinking, ‘Why me? This can’t be happening again. When is this going to end?’ ”

We are sitting on Lottie Tomlinson’s immaculate white sofa in her pristine white house in Chislehurst, southeast London, where she is curled up in tiny shorts with a perfect tan and impeccably applied make-up. But her French manicured nails are digging so hard into the sofa I think they might snap, the heart tattoo on her minuscule wrist is throbbing and her eyelashes are clogged with tears.

Her life sounds blessed. The influencer has 4.8 million Instagram followers waiting for her to dispense advice on how to apply mascara; the fake tan brand, Tanologist, that she launched at 19 has gone global; and she has a devoted fiancé, Lewis Burton, who runs a luxury concierge business and whose former girlfriend was the late Caroline Flack. They have an adorable son called Lucky, who is dripping ice cream on her marble counters. Her new book is also called Lucky Girl; her older brother is Louis Tomlinson of One Direction and she was touring the world with the band as a make-up artist at 16.

But after her mother died when she was 18, Tomlinson was left looking after her younger sister and two sets of twin siblings, aged eight and two, while creating her businesses, and trying to process her grief. Her father had left their home in Doncaster years before after a battle with alcohol. “Dad had a drinking problem. We’d see glimpses of his good side but he let us down,” she says. “I ended up trying to take care of him rather than the other way round.”

When her mother died, life felt bleak, “I lost the one person who loved me unconditionally, and then when my sister Fizz [Félicité] died of an accidental overdose, I thought I could never be happy again,” she says. “I found the lead-up to Mother’s Day devastating without my sister as well. It was a constant reminder that I was now different from my friends. In my dreams, my mum was still there; she was alive. I woke up feeling comforted, only to realise that she’d gone.”

Tomlinson, who is now 25 and a patron of the bereavement charity Sue Ryder, moves easily between telling you how to apply the best tan and how to talk about death. She cares passionately about both subjects and takes them equally seriously, worried that I’ve never tried a bronzer or used foundation before asking how I coped when my mother died during the pandemic. Her soft Yorkshire accent is both reassuring and no-nonsense.

Born near Doncaster, she was only two when Fizz was born and six when the first twins arrived. “I’ve always been the big sister — Fizz and I each got one and then more twins six years later.” While Louis had his own space, the girls all shared one room with bunk beds. “It was chaos, but my mum, Johannah, was a midwife and loved being pregnant and having so many babies,” she explains. “I used to be in awe of the way she could feed the twins at once, one on each hip. She would do the night shifts, while I held the fort at home.”

Within a few years, Tomlinson would be touring America, Asia and Europe, flying first class with Louis, part of the biggest boy band in the world, but until she was 15, the family had only ever gone to France once a year all packed into a seven-seater car, with her mother’s new partner, snacks laid out in the middle. They stayed in a caravan park. On a Sunday, a treat was to go to their mother’s hospital to see the babies.

While Louis just wanted to sing, play the guitar and listen to Oasis, the girls were obsessed with make-up. “From the age of 12, I struggled academically, but I loved cropped clothes and my mum’s highlighters and mascaras.” She learnt how to apply everything from YouTube tutorials, rather than doing algebra. “We didn’t have much money — we sometimes couldn’t afford to top up the electricity meter so used candles — but everything my mum earned she spent on us. We all looked immaculate — I remember her being horrified when I dyed my hair orange. So it was lovely later when we could treat her.”

Saturday nights were spent watching The X Factor. “My mother and brother kept applying; in 2010, he got in and the whole family went for the audition. We believed in him, but we never thought it would go that far.” One day the family were going to the live shows, the next the boy band was formed with Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Liam Payne. “He was 18. For my mum it was a big shock. It was all so sudden. The press and fans were in our front garden every day.”

The older twins had already made their first TV appearances — they sound like Doncaster’s Von Trapps. “My mother was gently pushy,” Tomlinson says, smiling at the thought. “When I didn’t get good enough GCSEs to stay at school, she sent me off to join Louis on tour as work experience. I was so scared. I remember her ringing up Lou [Teasdale], their hair and make-up artist, and saying, ‘Lottie has not got through to sixth form; she’s going to come and assist you.’ I was in the car going, ‘No, please don’t.’ But it ended up being the best thing that happened to me. I went for a week and stayed two years. Lou and I are still so close.”

Suddenly, the two eldest Tomlinson children were circling the world, eating room service and ducking the paparazzi hanging out of helicopters taking snaps. “At first Louis didn’t really want his little sister gate crashing his new rock-star life, but now it feels like the best time of our lives — we experienced that craziness together,” she says.

The teenage Tomlinson found it harder to cope with being photographed wherever she went. “I had some puppy fat which made me very self-aware, and the filler culture was coming in and I felt I had to look perfect.” She had her lips done first at 17. “Then I became addicted: cheek filler, jaw filler, more make-up, blonder hair, slimmer and more tanned. My mum thought I looked perfect, but I was always searching.”

Five years later, when she became pregnant with Lucky and her lips started to swell and crack, she realised she didn’t need the enhancements any more. “I had everything removed, the false eyelashes too. It was liberating.” She kept her boob job, however. “That was just enhancement,” she says laughing. “The rest radically changed the way I looked. My breasts also got huge when I was pregnant and it was a bit painful. But I still breastfed. I loved carrying my child. I felt fantastic even when I was sick and exhausted.”

She leans forward, wraps her bronzed arms around her stomach and whispers, “I am pregnant again. We don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl. It’s only 13 weeks, so this is the first time I’ve said it publicly. I think I want a big family. I loved having Lucky but after a year I wanted to give him siblings.”

Tomlinson’s influencer career began once she established herself on tour. Soon everything she did, even dying her roots rainbow-coloured, went viral and fashion companies from Asos to Dior wanted in on it. “I was just going for it. I couldn’t believe the money I was making and spending — money I didn’t know existed as a child.”

Then suddenly her mum came home from holiday with flu. “She didn’t want to get out of bed. The doctors quite quickly told her she had leukaemia and she went straight to London for treatment. It all happened so fast. I remember being in London at work and getting a call from her partner — she couldn’t say the words herself, it was too hard for her.” The family were told it was treatable. “We kept so much hope.”

Her mother asked the family to keep her illness secret. “It was hard because you feel so isolated, but I understood. Louis was in the public eye and she didn’t want him questioned. She was determined to fight it and didn’t want everyone pitying her. My friends noticed I was acting differently for a few months. But I wanted to respect her wishes. It was her one request.”

She also dropped everything to go back to Doncaster to help her grandparents with the twins. “The younger ones were two and I wanted to keep everything as normal as possible. I can’t imagine what my mum was feeling leaving her kids to go to hospital.

“I would take them down and treasure seeing her — we tried to keep it light, no serious conversation. The only way Mum could cope was to keep it normal. Then, when the doctors said the transfusions hadn’t worked, she came home to die.”

Tomlinson tries to sound matter-of-fact. “We went to see her in hospital in Sheffield and the next morning we woke up and were told she had died. We felt numb. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. Now I am involved with the Sue Ryder charity, I am surprised we were offered no support or counselling at all, from the GP, the teachers, the professionals. They all kept away.” Her nan and grandad picked up the pieces.

It’s not surprising she can’t remember the funeral. “I just remember getting really drunk to numb the pain. I couldn’t come to terms with it. I can’t even remember how we organised it. My instinct was to take over as the eldest girl and step into my mum’s shoes so that is what I did.” Meanwhile, her older brother, who was launching his solo career, ensured there was enough money. “He’s incredibly generous. We looked after each other.”

Tomlinson returned to London months later, after her grandmother said she needed to become a role model for her siblings. Her younger sister Fizz worried her most. “She was very academic — she got straight A’s without trying — but she always said she felt different. She was bottling her grief for so long; it was too much and made her turn to other things. I think Mum’s death destroyed her. Only my mum seemed to understand her. If she had been offered some help at the start, things might have been different.”

Meanwhile, Tomlinson’s self-tanning brand was soon being sold in Los Angeles, New York and Australia, while her own fanbase grew; she hardly ever needed to pay for drinks, meals or holidays. However, she finds the term influencer obnoxious. “I don’t want to act like I tell people what to do. I am more of a content creator,” she explains. “I get paid by brands to create content for their clothes or beauty products and promote that to my followers. I also wanted my own business. I was quite aware that, at the end of the day, I was just working with an app. That’s why I started Tanologist with my business partner. I was always using tanning treatments that would end up turning my sheets orange and my face would break out in spots — this is more natural.”

Louis was also forging his career as a solo artist, eventually creating the song Two of Us about his mother’s death. “We were always so proud of Louis and what he was doing. We were not going to match up to being a global superstar, but we didn’t want to — ‘successful’ looks different for everyone,” she says.

But her sister Fizz was slipping and struggling. “She was old enough to do what she wanted at 19; she was partying and taking stuff to numb everything. She did go into rehab but to me it didn’t feel like an addiction problem, but a way to blank out her grief.” When Tomlinson was invited to Bali, she asked Fizz whether she wanted her to stay behind. “She said she was OK, and then it happened while I was away,” she says. (Fizz accidentally overdosed on cocaine, an anxiety drug and painkillers, her inquest found.) “Louis called me…” She stops talking.

The shock of a second death must have been devastating. She doesn’t speak for a minute while she twists her huge diamond engagement ring. “We weren’t mentally prepared,” she eventually says. “I can’t even remember if the two funerals were in the same church. I think grief has affected my memory a lot and that’s quite common. Grief is such a powerful emotion; it takes up a lot of your brain.”

Five years later, she now knows how to remain positive. “I had an amazing mum for 18 years. I have the most amazing family, my little boy and my career, and that is because of her. The same with Fizz — I had an amazing sister. It’s heartbreaking they aren’t with us any more, but they are together and they are looking out for me,” she says, sounding as though she is repeating a mantra.

Having a baby made her feel closer to them both. “He was a boy — it’s funny, he actually looks a lot like Louis did — and I thought, this is what my mother must have felt. But then I had so many questions I couldn’t ask, even more because she was a midwife.”

Her biggest problem was her terror that something terrible would happen to her son. “I became fixated [on the idea that] something bad would happen to him, so I couldn’t sleep. You go to the worst-case scenario, because that’s happened to you twice, to two of the closest people in your life. I couldn’t turn the lights off at night; I needed to see him all the time. Luckily, it calmed down quite quickly.”

We are still flitting between her story and advice on make-up, exercise and clothes.

“I like sharing advice. If a child lost their mother, I would say there is no magic answer. But the point of this book is to show that you can have tragic things happen and still keep going.”

What would the 25-year-old now say to her younger self, struggling at her second funeral at the age of 20? “I would say, ‘You are going to be OK; you will live a nice life.’ I didn’t think I could. I thought this will be a really sad, lonely life without my mum and sister. I wouldn’t have believed then that I could be happy again. But it would have been nice to hear.”

Lucky Girl by Lottie Tomlinson (Bonnier, £22). To order a copy go to timesbookshop.co.uk. Free UK standard P&P on orders over £25. Special discount available for Times+ members

[butteronabun]

cw: drunk reader

Diluc’s strength is no joke.

You barely remember in your late teenage years when, for some reason, Kaeya mischievously put Diluc and a man in one room together to do an arm wrestling challenge.

At the time, you were worried, because his opponent was twice Diluc’s size. The man looked like he could crush a watermelon with only his fists.

As the crowd gathered around to spectate the competition between the former cavalry captain and the giant, you watched with bated breath as the countdown went down. You mulled over interrupting their business, there were a lot of grown men cheering and yelling making bets on who would be the victor, you decided not to, because there was also a part of you that was curious on what would happen.

When someone hollered for them to begin, everyone expected some kind of struggle. But there was only a curt and loud thud.

Diluc, in one swift motion, easily overpowered the bigger man’s arm by pining it firmly on the surface.

You underestimated him. Diluc really took his training seriously, and it would be more evident ( in his physical growth ) as he got older.

So now, in the present, your sober self will probably regret this proposition you just made with him once you wake up tomorrow.

“We don’t really have to do this, my love,” Diluc says, a worried frown plastered on his handsome face. “You’re not in the right state of mind – you ought to go to bed.”

Archons only know where you gained your confidence. After two pints of beer in his tavern ( in which he vehemently disapproved of but allowed you to indulged only this once ), you were immediately red and intoxicated.

( Thankfully, it was closing time when you started sputtering out unintelligible comments and murmurs. Diluc wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he enjoyed the way home to the manor because you kept on spoiling him with small kisses on the cheeks, and how he was so “strong” and “so great.” It was going to be a secret between the two of you.

Now that you both were finally inside your shared bedroom, Diluc’s plan was simple: to give your affections back tenfold by relishing on your adorable self’s clinginess and cuddling you before succumbing to slumber. But apparently, after changing into comfortable sleepwear, you had other plans. )

“Am not drunk!” you exclaim, before clumsily pulling him closer. Diluc assists you by easing himself right into your embrace. “How dare you say that, you—“

“I did not even say that you were inebriated,” Diluc retorts, and you catch the small smirk on his kissable lips. Wow. You really want to wipe the smugness in his face by kissing him. Or you want him to kiss you. Eh, both is good. “You are staring. Do you need anything? Maybe we should rest now and—“

“Nuh–uh.” You shake your head stubbornly. You tighten your hold around your beefy husband who looks down at you with obvious softness in his scarlet eyes. “Arm wrestle with me. Please?”

Diluc caresses your cheek with his thumb. “I do not think that is a good idea.”

You grin, “But that’s what you think. I, however think that it is a good idea!” Unaware, you start to roam your hands under his silky shirt. Diluc visibly stiffens, when you reach certain spots in his defined muscles. “Pleaaaasee?”

You wonder if Diluc has caught on, with the way he begins to blush from your insinuations. For a moment, he sighs in defeat, and then presses his lips on your forehead. He whispers, “Alright.”

You celebrate when he takes you to the dresser. He gently lets you sit on the plush stool, while he takes another chair to be beside you. You excitedly swing your arm, waiting for his own, and you cackle in delight when his warm fingers intertwines with yours.

“Don’ flirt with me. ‘s not a good a strategy,” you claim, and Diluc surprises you by kissing you promptly on the cheek. “Diluuuuc. . .”

“I cannot help it,” He confesses, looking a little timid and apologetic. But you know that he may do it again. “But if that is what you wish, then—“

“Later,” you pout. It’s not like you don’t like his kisses. There’s a more important thing to do here! “e’re gonna compete first.”

As you explain the rules of arm wrestling to him despite the basics already ingrained in your brains, you fail to notice how Diluc keeps on gazing at you with such fondness.

“Also, just because you do lifts and I don’t doesn’t mean you’ll go easy on me,” you boldly say. Diluc has as advantage, sure, but you believe that you can find a way in breaking his victory streak. You just can feel it in your bones. Trust.

But as always, Diluc keeps on defeating you. But the good thing about it is that your husband continues to dote on you even more, even if you grumble at him.

With the loving ( and supportive ) glances he sends you while you attempt to beat him and random kisses he gives you every time he wins “my reward” he says—you repeatedly tell him not to flirt with you, and he, in turn, answers again with “I just couldn’t help it.”

[evilminji]

You know what? HAVE we tried Yoda's "younglings fix everything" tactic on Skywalker?

New SI-OC Time!

Smol, adorable, has a bug out bag and enough credits stashed for their life on the run! Already learned how to tie the hover prams together in like .001 seconds flat and (SUPER gently) toss the babies into um. Knows where the baby food is. Conveniently, has helped ORGANIZE said baby food. (Some of which was "organized" straight into bug out bags)

The whole works.

But like.....?

Better part of a cure? Is prevention you know? And the Tragedy Of Anikin Skywalker? Is that he WAS a GOOD MAN.

And she's standing there, with her Fully Grown ADULT SOUL, looking at this KID who thinks he's a man... this TEENAGER who's been GROOMED by a Sith Lord, a fully grown adult he TRUSTED in a position of power and authority over him, the FORMER SLAVE, and she just...?

How can she look upon his soul? So brightly burning with light and emotion and a sense of JUSTICE? A young man who CARES so much he can barely function some days. Who's heart's ambition is to Free The Slaves so NO ONE will ever again suffer as he and his mother did? Who looks at his partner like she's the most wonderful person to ever draw breathe?

So bright. So GOOD. Struggling and trying and fighting a battle he doesn't even know he's IN, against a Sith Lord he thinks is his FRIEND?

How can she look upon that young man... and just? Abandon him. Decide he's too much effort to save. To even TRY. That his fate is a forgone conclusion and he is destined to Fall. Such things are a CHOICE. And Anikin Skywalker? Has had precious few of those in his life. Between Duty and his youth, lives on the line and Master's that owned.

This is HIS Soul. HIS future. And Palpatine is trying to chip away at his ability to think clearly. Trying to pressure and rush rush RUSH! So he chooses in fear and desperation, like the bad sell it is. Knowing he'll feel he's "too far gone" to back out. Letting him spiral. Ever tightening that noose.

But? Like... the man DOES want to be a dad. Have a family. The thought HAS to be there.

"I should practice taking care of Force Sensitive younglings..."

You know... in case he in Padme... I mean, he's not SUGGESTING anything! But, I mean? If she WANTED too? And he knows they're young and all... and it would complicate everything... but? But!

They'd be KIDS. His kids. HER kids. THEIR KIDS! A... a family. He can barely imagine it.

A problem though? Is how LOUD he is. He can't help it. No more then one can help their hair or eye color. Reminders to "remember his shields" are a great deal like hearing "your breathing is upsetting people. Kindly stop." Like? What do you want him to DO, exactly? Cease existing?

Yes, he COULD be shielding better. If you met him at WHERE HE IS. Not continued to try and make him conform to a mold he'll forever be too big to fit. He's not an IDIOT. He is AWARE that babies are hypersensitive to the Force, since they are so new and rely off it for basicly everything. He KNOWS he's overwhelming to even ADULTS sometimes.

Obi-Wan can handle him because HIS shields are basicly High Council levels. He could TEACH classes to knights and masters. Everyone else? They feel a bit... projected at. It's RUDE™. Very "getting all up in my personal space and shouting". you know?

Babies can't handle that!

That UPSETS babies! Younglings too, they just don't have the words for it.

Knight Skywalker is just "So Much". It's upsetting and alienating. Force Sensitives are basicly MADE to connect to each other. Are THE most social of their various personality types, races, and various cultures. It's just?? A "ducks trying to raise a swan" scenario.

Anikin has subtly different needs. Is gonna grow to be bigger then them. What works for THEM may very well be wildly unnatural for HIM and that's OKAY. Neither of them is wrong! The PROBLEM here? Is rigidity. Refusal to meet a youngling where they ARE, out of fear of change. Clinging to tradition rather then ADMIT to ignorance... thus? Never treating that ignorance with the healing hands of Knowledge, as is the Jedi WAY.

The Sith have been at work for a long, long time.

But OC does not have to play part in their games. Bow to their rules. To hell with tradition and fear. Paths upon paths that MAY, conceivably, lead to SOMEWHERE. Did you not SAY, Master Yoda? That the Future is always in motion? Attachments may lead to darkness, but they also lead to light. They LEAD to everything. Because they are part of being ALIVE.

OBSESSION and CONTROL are the Darkside. But mere Emotions are the flowing of tides.

She prescribes hugs.

An adorable youngling, herself of course, following Skywalker around the Temple like a duckling and flopping against him every chance she gets. Asking bright eyed youngling questions of her Super Cool Esteemed Knight Elder that he'll have to look up. Or look up WITH her. Sometimes indulgent listen to HER ramble about.

Or? If he's sand blasting the soul of everyone around him? Welp, time to brace for it! Once more into the breach! She is small and squishy. Warm, huggable, and filled with light. Can hum and hug his head. Smell like Baby. Itty bitty lil light and heart beat and body. Not a threat. Cares about him. Fellow Jedi. Safe safe safe.... calm...

Does she feel a bit... rubbed raw? Soul wise, afterwards? Fuck yeah. Ouch, her everything stings. But that's not his fault. AND! He's getting better.

QUICKLY.

Cause there's nothing QUITE like an adorable wittle baby child, whom you BLASTED IN THE SOUL FACE with abrasive anger-sand hard enough to probably scour them to the BONES, wincing but smiling up at you and asking if you feel better now... to make you just a LIL bit "fuck asking Master's, I'm gonna tear the Archives apart until I can solve this on my own" hysterical. Ha ha....

Oh Force he MAIMED A CHILD! (Soul bruised, at BEST. And not intentionally.) (THATS NOT BETTEEEEEER!!! *hysterics in Skywalker*) Padme! Put me down like THE ANIMAL I'VE BECOME! AaaaaaAAAAAAA-!!! (He says, showing up at a senators apartment, holding a youngling she's never met like a teddybear. The MAN SHE MARRIED, everybody! He's so lucky she loves him. Ffs Ani.)

But like?? Shielding? Leads to SO MUCH better emotional regulation and stability? Plus an immediately increase difficulty scale for Certain Sith Lord's.

Especially! If the technique Anikin has to use? Is OLD AS FUCK. Like... Pre-Rebulic old. Considered a wildly overly complex and exhausting way to Shield for most people who just don't have the midi-chlorians count to NEED it.

A case of "the side effect of THIS medicine can actually address THAT crippling symptom!? Huh." So Anikin? Starts? INTENTIONALLY Projecting. Yeah... wild right? After so long trying NOT too! He starts learning to? PROJECT a "bubble" into the Force around him.

So that he'll only sense himself. So he can FOCUS on projecting and politely not project AT people. Kinda like elevator music where normally there is just nature noises. Very clearly artificially made? But not? "Every thought you have shouted at me" intrusive.

Kinda pleasant actually! Especially here on Coruscant. Where everything is so discordant and murky. Suddenly? There's this walking Air Filter/Lovely Ambiant Noise Machine walking around and???

Anikin has NEVER been so popular?? O:

Padme. Padme! The Crechelings FELL ASLEEP ON ME! Just?? Clambered RIGHT on up, dumped themselves in my lap, and fell asleep! Everyone wants to meditate near me! There were ARGUMENTS! Obi-Wan! OBI-WAN feel asleep on me the other day! Just?? Slumped over against my shoulder and started to CUDDLE!!! (/ T^T)/ hold me Padme! Everything is Beautiful and nothing hurts! I should have done this YEARS ago!

Also! Did you know it's Totally Cool for us to get married? We just have to get JEDI married! Wanna help me lie to the council? (Totally, you even got to ask?) O/ \O *highfive!*

Palpatine would HATE it. Fucking LOATH it. But the thing is? You can plan for actors on the stage, plan approximately for players to come, but? NO ONE can plan for a SI-OC. And even then? Any plan accounting for what children will do? Usually discounts how intelligent truely really are.

The Sith Did Not PLAN for "smart baby knows what you are up too and decides to stop you".

Because WHO WOULD PLAN FOR THAT?

Well....? Maybe don't be SUCH a dick? That the Actual Force Itself decides to fuck with your plans by introducing Chaotic elements? Ever thought of THAT??? Anyway... THAT is how the Big MEAN Sith Lord was unveiled targeting an INNOCENT and TOTALLY not provoking him, itty bitty child! Oh no! Anikin! Save meeeee! The scary bad man wants to HURT ME!

A CHILD! Who you gonna pick? Me, the crying lil girl you basicly adopted with your wife, or the man you THOUGHT was you friend... before he ATTACKED A CHILD! With a RED LIGHTSABER! And lightning! Someone's throwing around mention of SLAVE CHIPS and he's suggestinghe can "save you wife"!!!

Real CONVENIENT. Since Anikin's wife is both completely FINE and under the care of Jedi healers, yet he's been having MYSTERIOUS DREAMS about her DYING HORRIBLY. Dreams that Don't Feel Right. Like they DONT come from his head! So? How do YOU know about those dreams, HUH? SHEEV??

*Chosen One INTENSIFIES*

[wreckingtickles]

1 Hour in Tickle Hell!

Sir Nighteye doesn't appreciate Izuku endangering himself, and Mirio takes it upon himself to punish him as customary for their agency...

Characters: Lee Izuku, ler Mirio

Words: 7,757

Big thanks to @sleepysheepytea for letting me use her wonderful leezuku piece as a preview image! If you're reading this, you probably have already, but if not, go give her a like!

Intense tickles under the cut!

“Reckless endangerment! You act like your life is of no consequence! But if you die, who is going to save everyone?”

That was the fifth rhetorical question Sir Nighteye asked of a bashful Midoriya as he paced up and down his office, dressing down the stiff teenager.

“Self harm! You risk permanent damage every time you push your Quirk too far, and if your disregard for your own health wasn’t a serious enough matter, what if you incapacitate yourself on the field? What if you had forced Mirio to choose between saving a civilian and you?!”

Neither was looking at the other, Nighteye yelling at the walls as if he couldn’t even bear to look at his intern at that moment, while his words weighed down Midoriya’s gaze and glued it to the floor. Deku understood everything the hero was saying, he realized he was right, but somehow he also knew that he’d make the same choices every single time.

Nighteye’s furious steps halted as he lowered his voice, “And worst of all…” he began before dramatically turning to point an accusatory finger at Izuku, “Your smile wavered! Who is going to believe that there is any hope if they feel like their rescuer is lying to them?!”

Once again, the intern said nothing. All Might’s former sidekick was going to kick him out of the agency, and even as he dreaded that verdict, part of him seemed to think he’d done nothing wrong. Was he really that arrogant?

“For all these infractions, I sentence you…”

Deku closed his eyes as if in preparation for a hard blow to the head.

“...to one hour in Tickle Hell.”

Wait, what? Izuku dared to look up. Nighteye’s impenetrable expression gave nothing away except his usual earnestness. Was that really it?

Mirio, still in his hero costume, piped up next to Izuku. “Sir, the machine broke.”

“Again?!”

“Tiffany’s coming on Monday.”

“Then you’ll carry out his punishment,” commanded Nighteye as he took his seat behind his desk. He’d already checked out of the conversation. “Any problems with that?”

“None, Sir, but since it’s his first time, might we do it after closing time?”

“Very well. Make sure you close up after you’re done.”

—

“Yeah, I lied about the machine,” revealed Mirio with a chuckle. “I just thought it’d be weird for you, especially since it’s your first time.”

“Oh. Thank you,” replied Izuku tentatively, not quite sure what to make out of the surreal deal. If nothing else, he was grateful he wasn’t being tickled in front of everyone else, though Mirio calling it his “first time” didn’t bode too well for his future.

“So, let’s take a seat!” urged Mirio cheerfully, wheeling out two office chairs so they faced each other and motioning for Izuku to choose one.

Blushing to his ears, Izuku took a seat. Mirio plopped down in the other, the mechanism groaning a little under his weight. He was being goofy to put him at ease, Izuku knew, and he wished he could be grateful for it, but the whole situation was too awkward. 

Mirio was sitting there in front of him with his comforting smile, as if it was a perfectly normal thing. And it probably was, in Sir’s agency. It’s not like his classmates didn’t tickle him all the time either. Literally: all the time. Apparently, he was just too adorable when he laughed. And while it could be very annoying, he didn’t mind too much, since he could tell it was done with affection and not to humiliate him. But he hadn’t known Mirio that long…

“Hey, you still there?” Mirio’s question snapped him out of his reverie. “You were muttering to yourself.”

“Sorry, it’s just… I feel bad that you lied to Sir Nighteye for me.”

“He probably knows and knows why I did it. And besides, I don’t really mind the machine. It’s a good time,” explained Mirio with his usual jolly tone. “So, you ok with me tickling you?”

Izuku blushed a deeper shade of red and nodded. What else could he say?

“Good! Do you want to set the timer, or should I?”

He was making him feel like an active participant. He had to be an incredible hero in a crisis. But Izuku was too nervous and couldn’t remember where he’d left his phone. “You, uh, you can do it.”

“Great! I’ll set it to 10 minutes, then you get a 2-minute break. That’s how the machine operates. So if you factor in the breaks, you’re only being tickled for 50 minutes! ” explained Mirio as he set the timer on his phone and placed it on the desk next to Midoriya, so he could check it at will. “One last thing! I need you to take off your shoes and socks. Oh, and to make it count, I need to tickle you under your T-shirt, or you can take it off if you prefer. Is that ok with you?”

“D-Do you really have to?”

“Yep!” said Mirio, clapping his hands on his thighs. “I agree with Sir, you need to learn that your well-being matters, so don’t expect me to play nice!”

Maybe the machine wouldn’t have been so bad after all. But then he remembered that each time he’d seen the machine in action, it always started with those fuzzy appendages that targeted the poor hero’s sides and hips, and Izuku shivered at the memory. One hour of the spot his classmates had told him was his worst for a whole hour?! No way.

“O-ok,” stammered Izuku as he began to remove his bright red shoes, carefully tucking them aside. He also slipped off his black socks - thankfully the agency had showers and he’d been able to wash up - balled them up, and put one inside each shoe.

“You’re very tidy, good for you!” praised Mirio, but Izuku was too tongue-tied to utter anything other than a bashful “Thanks.”

Izuku sat back down, forcing himself to keep his bare soles planted on the ground and to keep his back straight, his hands balled into nervous fists on his thighs. He wanted nothing more than to hide his face behind his knees and die of embarrassment.

Mirio was looking at him with that smile of his. There was no telling what he was thinking. “Oh, can you start the timer?” he asked suddenly.

“Y-Yes,” answered Izuku, anything to keep his mind off of what was about to happen. He reached his hand toward the desk, tapped the screen… and suddenly found himself in a world of hysterics as Mirio’s hands snuck up to his sides.

“WAHAHAHAHAHIHIHIT!!! IIHIHIHHI WAAHAHAHAHASN’T REEEHEHEHEHEHADDY!!!!”

“Not good, Midoriya! Expect the unexpected!” advised Mirio while his strong hands went on squeezing the green bean’s sensitive flanks. 

Izuku tried batting them away, grabbing his wrists, using any self-defense technique he’d learned, but Mirio was much stronger than him and even a mere few seconds of tickling had messed up his coordination. Betrayed by his own sensitive body, again!

“NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA!!!”

It didn’t even matter that the senpai was tickling him through his T-shirt, all Midoriya seemed to be able to do was sink deeper into the chair and laugh as Mirio loomed over him.

“Oh wow, you’ve got it bad!” remarked Mirio with a chuckle. “Are you ticklish anywhere else?” he asked as he moved up to the trainee’s ribs. This time, the fabric of Izuku’s statement shirt lessened the effect of the probing fingers that vibrated and raked at his ribcage with single-minded dedication. 

“AAAHAHahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! PLEEEHHHEHEHahaahasssseeheheheh!!! StoohoHOHOHOHOP!”

“No can do, Midoriya! This is your punishment! Take your tickles with pride!”

Izuku couldn’t tell to what extent Mirio was teasing him and to what extent he was being his goofy self, but he found himself trying to hide his beet red face from his upperclassman, and failing miserably as the the thumbs suddenly pressing into the bottom of his ribcage forced him to squeal and to try to push the offenders away from him.

“NAAAAhahaahahahahahaha!!! IhihihihIHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHIHIcklehehehehehehehssss!!”

Mirio couldn’t believe how adorable the first year looked when he laughed freely, his face scrunched up and his beautiful smile on full display as the boyish laughter rang in the empty office, an informal welcome.

Mirio hadn’t expected it would be that much fun. He could tell that Izuku, after the shock of the first few moments, was torn between trying to escape the tickles and forcing himself to sit still and embrace his weird punishment, and the clash between his will and his sensitivity made his struggle all the more endearing.

But when the probing fingers entered Izuku’s underarms, Izuku was suddenly of a single mind about his predicament.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! TOOOHOHOHOGAHAHAHATA!!! IIII CAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHNNN’TT!!!”

He had fully sunk in the back of the chair, his legs kicking wildly at either side of the goofy tickle monster as the latter leaned forward to negate Izuku’s attempt to merge with the cushion, his tongue stuck out in concentration as he was determined to mine that weak spot for all it was worth. 

Naturally, the greenette’s natural reaction was to clamp down his arms, succeeding at limiting the range of motion of those pesky fingers… too bad they were exactly where Mirio wanted and Izuku didn’t want them.

“TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIHIHHIIHHIIHMMEEE!!! TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIHHIHHIHIMME!!!” squealed izuku through the gales of laughter.

Mirio raised his head - he didn’t even need to relent to glance at the stopwatch - and gave him an apologetic smile. “Take my word for it, you don’t want to know,” he promised as his index fingers made a push deeper into the all too sensitive hollows.

“YAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!”

Mirio simply couldn’t believe how adorable the greenette sounded and looked when he was flailing in the throes of ticklish agony, his entire body tensing up from under Mirio, his eyes widening with shock for a moment, as the fingers inched upward and inward, teasing the very sensitive skin at the center of Midoriya’s underarms.

“OOOOOHOHOHOHO NOOOOHOHOHOOHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Izuku didn’t know what to do. They’d probably just started, but Mirio was going at it with an enthusiasm he hadn’t anticipated, he really seemed hell-bent on making that punishment feel like… a punishment.

But even through his T-shirt, it tickles so much that Izuku gave up hope of controlling his reactions, and he reflexively started pushing Mirio away in any way he could - and with his arms being out of commission as they were locked in their ineffective barricade, that meant trying to create enough space by wedging a knee against Mirio’s chest, then pushing with his other foot.

That maneuver had been created with grappling in mind; but in that specific scenario, it would lead to more harm and good, because when Mirio felt the foot push against his chest, he didn’t try to oppose it: he grabbed it. “Rookie mistake, young Midoriya.”

Izuku was almost relieved that first one hand, then the second left his poor pits alone. By the time he realized his mistake, it was too late, because four fingers were already scribbling up and down his bare sole.

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Nohohohoahaht thehehehehehehehehehehhere!!!”

It was only one foot, but there was no protective layer of fabric between the tickling fingers and the tickled sole, and Izuku really did not want to make the same mistake twice, so he tried to keep his other foot firmly planted on the ground, or at least out of Mirio’s reach, but no matter how hard he kicked, Mirio’s grip was a steel vise, and he only succeeded at rolling his chair farther and closer to his tickler.

For his part, Mirio was plenty happy to take his time with the one sole he got, a little squat and small in his hand, but arguably a little big on someone Izuku’s height, while he waited for the second to inevitably fall into his lap. He abandoned his scattershot approach in favor of a more analytical one, scratching briefly at the heel…

“Hahahahahahaha!!! Hehehehehehehehehehe!”

Then the scribbling fingers traveled up the arch, lingering on the instep when Mirio noticed that Izuku’s giggling grew more squeaky…

“Hahahahaahha!! NEHEHEHEHEhehehehehehehehhahahahaaha!!!”

He dragged his fingernails up and down the arch, and whenever Izuku would attempt to lessen the sensation by scrunching up his sole, Mirio would briefly focus on his arch right above his heel, constantly switching between those spots… It wasn’t just classmates who were oddly skilled at tickling!

“Ohohohohahahahahahahaha!! HAHAahahahahahahahahahaha!!”

Finally, the dull fingernails reached Izuku’s bubble-like toes, eliciting bubbly giggles and squeaks from the greenette, who gripped the armrests for dear life as Mirio seemed to have no intention of letting go and repeatedly stomped the ground with his other foot.

“NeheheehehHEHEHEHEHEEHHEEHE!!! Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!!!”

“Your toes are so small and cute,” teased Mirio, proceeding to run his thumb on the underside of his toes before grabbing them one by one as if playing ‘this little piggy’. He’d noticed how Izuku wasn’t even trying to negotiate or plead, but had accepted his predicament even as his body fought against it. Either he didn’t hate it, or he was used to it.

Izuku went on squirming in his seat, floundering as his priorities were split between maintaining his balance and hiding his face. Mirio took that chance to lift his ankle higher, throwing him slightly off balance and forcing his other leg to kick out, and Mirio was ready, rapidly scooping both ankles in a headlock and spidering his fingers all over both soles.

“NOOOOhohohohhoho!!! SeheheehEHEHEHHEHEhenpaaaahahahahaihihi!!!! HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAahahahahahahhaha!!!”

“You sound so happy!” remarked Mirio, as if Izuku needed additional teasing. “Is this your most ticklish spot?” 

Izuku didn’t know if his armpits or his feet were worse despite the wealth of experience his classmates had regaled him with, they were bad in different ways, but he knew there was one spot that was even worse. He wasn’t going to say it, but he wasn’t going to lie either, and the compromise seemed to be to laugh his head off.

“I’m not hearing a no,” said Mirio as his frenzied scratching got faster, focusing on the arches and Izuku’s toes.

Izuku threw his head back as the ticklish sensation coursed up his body… and felt himself fall before his shoulders hit the ground.

Mirio stopped tickling him immediately. “Are you hurt?”

Izuku took a few deep breaths, shielding his face once more as he shook his head no.

“Good!” trilled Mirio before sending him into a new fit of laughter as he resumed tickling the squat soles. “Just kidding,” he said after a few moments, letting go of Izuku’s ankles and offering him a hand, which Izuku took. In a moment, he was back on his feet, welcoming the cold floor under his pink soles.

Izuku took that chance to glance at the timer. Six minutes. It hadn’t even been six minutes yet. Izuku went pale, meaning that his scarlet complexion dimmed to a dark pink. But he didn’t have a lot of time to mull over that piece of info, because he was suddenly pulled into Mirio’s lap, the upperclassman’s thick forearm a steel bar that pinned his chest.

Any protest Izuku might have formulated dissolved into gleeful cackles as Mirio’s free hand crawled under his tee and started scratching at his taut stomach.

“NEHEHEHahhahaahahahahahaha!! Stoohhohohohahahahaap PLEHEHEHEHEHAAASE!!”

“Here too? You are one ticklish guy,” chuckled Mirio without being bothered by Izuku’s attempts to grab his wrist or shield his tummy, being much stronger than the green bean who seemed hell bent on not using his Quirk to get away.

Mirio’s friendly claw was wreaking havoc on Izuku’s belly, inflating and depressing to the bright tune of his laughter. He roamed all across the abdominal expanse, dipped one finger in Izuku’s bellybutton to unleash a few adorable squeaks, spidered his fingers on his lower belly and waist, then let his hand tweak at every part of Izuku’s skin under the tee, revisiting his sides, his ribs, making brief attacks on his pits, before descending and squeezing  Izuku’s hip…

The greenette’s eyes bulged open as he screeched “NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! NahahahahahHAHAAHAHAHHAHAT THEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHARRE!!!”

“I think you really mean it this time,” teased Mirio as he went on pinching and squeezing at the dreaded spot, switching sides so Izuku couldn’t keep up. When he saw there were only 20 seconds left, “You’re almost there!” he cheered as he latched onto Izuku’s hip and dug in repeatedly, fully unleashing his inner big brother to really give the younger student a laugh.

He kept his eye on the timer in case he couldn’t hear it over Izuku’s laughter, and when he saw it hit zero, he immediately let go of the green bean, only helping him steady himself so he wouldn’t fall again.

“There, there,” he said. “Take deep breaths.”

Izuku jumped off Mirio’s lap and landed on the chair in front of him, his perception of the hot seat completely altered after the last round of tickling.

“You good?”

“I’m… ok, just… uh…” stammered Izuku, and at first Mirio thought he was simply catching his breath, btu then he noticed how the green bean’s gaze was glued to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” said Mirio, causing Izuku to perk up. “Between my Quirk and working with Sir, sometimes I forget that some things come across as a bit weird outside of this office.”

“No, it’s… it’s ok, really,” assured Midoriya.

“I should have offered to let you tickle me first, because it’s really no big deal! Laughing is fun. Sometimes, if I’m having a hard day, I ask Sir to let me use the machine to feel better.”

That was some major Kirishima energy coming from the heroic goofball, and that familiar attitude relaxed the hold that embarrassment had on Izuku’s chest.

“But if it’s too weird for you, I can let you use the machine, or we can speak to Sir tomorrow and try something else!”

A wave of gratitude washed over Izuku. Still, “No, it’s… I want to do this,” he said. “Ihit’s not too… weird. In fact, I’m… kind of used to it.”

Mirio smiled. “I can believe that, your laughter really lights up the room! It’s so nice to listen to.”

That comment caused Izuku’s arm fortress to envelop his face again. Even so… “T-thanks,” he said. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that, and he’d started to accept it as a compliment. Since they’d moved into the dorms, pretty much every brush with tickling he’d had was not a way to demean him, but affectionate physical contact or a silly way to bond, and it had started to remove the sting of past memories with it.

And Mirio… Izuku was a bit intimidated by the upperclassman who should have received One for All in his place, he was just so amazing that despite his kind demeanor, or perhaps precisely because of it, Izuku felt some kind of resistance at the prospect of getting close to him. And still, over time, he’d started to want to be his friend. So the fact that he was acting the same way his friends did was… comforting.

“Ready for round 2?” asked Mirio.

“A-Already?”

“You have one more minute, don’t worry, but I have a proposal. Two, actually!”

“Ok,” replied Izuku nervously.

“First: we use the machine’s restraints so you don’t have to worry about punching me in the face or activating your Quirk. Sounds good?”

No, it didn’t, but it made sense, and he trusted Mirio. Even so, he gulped before saying, “Yes.”

“Proposal the second: if you want to get this over with quicker, we can turn on the machine while I tickle you. We’ll say that cuts the remaining time in half. What do you think?” 

If Izuku tried to hide the panic in his eyes, he certainly failed. That would allow them to go home sooner, especially Mirio, who was essentially working overtime due to Izuku’s own mistakes, but the green bean didn’t want to find out what being double-teamed felt like. “M-Maybe later.”

Mirio nodded, his smile unwavering, and walked over to the machine’s control panel. “Let’s see…”

As he pressed various buttons, the machine began to shift, changing its angle, adding and removing restraints, creating protrusions and depressions. That thing was a lot more customizable than Izuku had ever thought, and he couldn’t help wondering who had made it and how much money Sir must have spent on it.

“Hop on,” instructed Mirio. The machine was nearly unrecognizable. It was at around a 30° angle from the floor, with a large cubic protrusion emerging from the bottom that seemed to be intended as a seat. Two metal rings jut out from the front of the cube - ankle restraints, surmised Izuku. There was a second set of restraints at the top of the machine, two adjacent parallelepipeds with circular holes.

Izuku sheepishly made his way toward the machine, eyeing the four cavities from which the tickle-tools were supposed to come out. But he knew they wouldn’t unless he gave Mirio the go ahead.

Before hopping on the cubic seat, however, he paused to remove his top - his hair was already damp and he didn’t want to sweat through his change of clothes as well. Considering how many times he’d seen Mirio naked due to Quirk-related accidents, he didn’t feel too awkward.

Mirio flashed Izuku a thumbs-up as the latter climbed into the machine, the cold metal not entirely unpleasant against his bare back. He placed his ankles into the two rings, which snapped shut around the cuffs of his emerald trousers, then raised his arms over his head and fitted his wrists through the padded restraints above him.

Lying there was certainly more comfortable than standing or thrashing about in an office chair, but it also made Izuku feel that much more exposed and vulnerable, his entire upper body stretched out and on full display, his bare feet dangling out of reach.

His nervousness was partly allated when he saw Mirio step closer to him, having concocted a rather extravagant solution to allow Izuku to see the timer: he’d put his phone in his armband and donned it on his head, so the screen was smack dab in the middle of his forehead. It was exactly the kind of kind and silly thing Mirio would do to put someone at ease, and Izuku felt a wave of affection for the older student.

“Are you ready? I won’t be too mean, I promise.”

Izuku nodded, steeling himself.

“Ok. Boop the timer,” instructed Mirio as he leaned closer to Izuku’s face, allowing him to start the timer with his nose. It took a few tries, and Izuku chuckled in spite of himself. Mirio was trying so hard to put him at ease, he had to do his part too.

“Timer booped successfully,” he said as he tried to approximate the upperclassman’s speech.

“Fantastic!” exclaimed Mirio an instant before he started squeezing Izuku’s knees.

The ticklish jolt caused the greenette to jump a little, and Mirio went on squeezing, looking for just the right spot as his fingers probed at the fabric and the muscle under it.

“Eep! Eek!” yelped Izuku repeatedly, before the string of squeaks melded into a steady stream of high-pitched giggles as Mirio’s thumbs found just the right spot above each kneecap and wouldn’t let go.

Izuku’s titters were just too precious, Mirio knew at that moment it wouldn’t be the last time he’d volunteer to punish the green bean if he kept running headlong into danger. There was something so innocent about the way he kept scrunching his fists and soles to cope with the sensation, about the way his toes pointed inward as he twisted his knees to escape the tickles.

It was such a mesmerizing sight that Mirio ended up spending way more time on that spot than he’d intended, so he tried to make up for it by goosing Izuku’s thighs. 

“Hehehehehehehehehehe!! Hehahahahahahahahahahaah!!!”

Thankfully, the thick fabric diffused some of the pressure, making it a lot more bearable than it would have been otherwise.

“It’s not so bad, is it?” asked Mirio.

“Ihihihit tihihihckleehehs buhuhut Ihihih cahahahn tahahahahke ihihihit!” admitted Izuku.

“Ok, good to know!” replied Mirio. “Time to get serious!”

And he started spidering his fingers up and down Izuku’s ribs and sides. momentarily avoiding the hot spot that were his hips, but not holding back at all otherwise, playing the green bean like a piano.

The reaction was immediate.

“OhnoohohohOHOHOHHOAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” 

Izuku burst into laughter, it was so much worse when he was shirtless and couldn’t squirm away!

And Mirio didn’t linger on a single spot for too long, letting his fingers travel up and down, up and down, delivering light and quick touches like kitten licks.

Next he tried slowly dragging his fingernails, caressing the skin, and while Izuku’s laughter seemed to decrease for a moment, the longer he kept it up, the higher in pitch it rose, and it quickly spilled forth again, bubbling like a cauldron.

“EhehehehehHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAH!!! PLEHEHEHAHAHAHAHSE STOOOHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHPP!!!”

The contrast between Izuku’s frantic struggling and the slowness and delicateness of Mirio’s touches was just beautiful, enough that the older student wondered if he’d just found his new favorite antistress. Lighter touches seemed to work just as well, if not better. That would make the machine very effective.

But he wouldn’t rest on his laurels, because when the fingernails ended their umpteenth descent, skipping slightly as they hit the ridges of Izuku’s ribcage before curving down the soft slopes of his sides, he began his ascent by squeezing at the flanks, massaging the area with his thumbs as he did so.

Izuku’s laughter instantly became lower-pitched, but also louder, a new gale spilling forth as he was blindsided by Mirio’s new technique. 

When he reached the base of the greenette’s ribcage, he laid off on the squeezing and let his thumbs do most of the work, digging in and massaging, causing Izuku to snort. Mirio lingered briefly on that spot just to get him to let out that adorable sound again, before proceeding to count each of his ribs in a rather torturous manner, and then back down, and up again.

“NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH!!! HAHAHHAAH HAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Satisfied with his initial exploration, Mirio then began mixing and matching methods and spots, digging his thumb in Izuku’s floating ribs while squeezing his side, scratching at his ribs while lightly dragging his fingernails down his flank, sometimes using both hands on the same side of his body, just to constantly keep him guessing.

The uncertainty and ever-changing pattern made it impossible for Izuku to get used to the sensation. Through half-lidded eyes, he managed to see there were about 4 minutes left. He could do it!

And then he felt Mirio’s fingers in his armpits.

“GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! NAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!”

Mirio smiled at the mirthful outburst. If Izuku reacted like that when his underarms were under fire, how would he react when Mirio would get to his hips? For the time being, however, he was perfectly content with driving the greenette up the wall by wiggling his fingers in the damp hollows, his scribbling motions light and quick since that seemed to be particularly effective.

And Izuku could attest to it. “HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! PLEHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSSEE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Three minutes.

Mirio kept it up for a few more moments before switching to massaging the hollows top to bottom with his thumbs, pressing gently but firmly, and though Izuku wasn’t as hysterical as before, there was no stopping the cyclical torrent of guffaws and spasms.

“It’s not as bad when I use my thumbs, right?” he asked.

Izuku would have preferred not to talk, but even if past experiences had taught him to answer his tickler, he still felt some kind of obligation toward the older student, so he forced himself to reply, “HIHIHIHIYEHEHEHEHEHEHESSS!!”

Mirio snickered at his own deviousness. Izuku would forgive him, he just had to do it. Time must have been almost up anyway.

“Good to know,” he responded before plunging his thumbs into Izuku’s hips, using the same massaging technique on the depression next to the bone and on his waist and V-line.

Izuku screeched. “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHEHEHEHEEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAH!!”

He convulsed as if he’d been electrocuted, but the thumbs wouldn’t let go, so shrill, howling laughter exploded out of him. His shock of emerald hair flung droplets of sweat as he desperately shook his head in denial, a few landing on the display on Mirio’s forehead that kept ticking down. 1:43.

Even a few seconds in, Izuku’s laughter didn’t seem to subside at all. The poor guy was really ticklish. But Mirio wasn’t torturing him to have fun.

“Hey Midoriya, can you still hear me?”

“GHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NEHEHEHEHEEHHEHEEHEHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!”

“It tickles a lot, doesn’t it?”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHHAHAHHAAHAHKK!!! HAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH YEEEEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA!!!!”

“Good! So the next time you throw yourself into the fray without regard for your well-being, remember this, because I’m going to do it again. Got it?”

“EEEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!! PL-PLEEEHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“I need to hear you say it!” demanded Mirio as he started squeezing his hips rapidly.

Izuku’s eyes flew open, dripping ticklish tears down his cheeks. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHSSSSS!!! YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“Good.”

Mirio gave a few more squeezes before his fingers relented, slowing to a stop a few moments before the timer went off.

“You’ve made it through round 2! Very well done!” he cheered, but Izuku was too busy filling his lungs with hair to respond.

“It’s a great workout for your core, isn’t it?” asked Mirio as he patted Izuku’s stomach. 

The greenette winced, expecting Mirio’s fingers to curl and start tickling him again, but the upperclassman did no such thing.

“Whoa! Wat is that, some kind of manly endurance test?!”

Izuku felt a mixture of relief and horror when he noticed that two figures were standing on the threshold, and if the outline Izuku could make out through the mist of tears hadn’t been enough to identify one of them, his energetic, enthusiastic voice was unmistakable.

“I want to try it!!” beamed Kirishima, his whole face lighting up at the prospect of such a fun challenge.

“Hey, Tamaki! And you must be Kirishima, right?” asked Mirio, pausing the timer as he went to greet them. “This is supposed to be a punishment, but I can try asking Sir if you’d like.”

Izuku blinked the tears away and noticed Kirishima staring straight at him and the machine with awe, while Tamaki was doing his best to look at anything but Izuku, which made the supremely awkward meeting feel even more unbearable.

“I think y-you and t-this one have something in common,” stammered Tamaki in what may have been a tragic attempt at a quip.

“Hey Midoriya! How’re you holding up?”

Izuku nodded, muttering a feeble “F-fine.”

Mirio patted him on the head. “This champ has been going at it for twenty minutes. Only thirty to go!”

Kirishima’s eyes bulged as he did the math. “Fifty minutes?!”

He knew very well just how ticklish the greenette was, and the compassion and admiration he felt for him was bottomless.

“Think you could handle it?” asked Mirio.

Kirishima crossed his arms in front of his chest, instinctively protecting his sensitive upper body. “Good luck, Midoriya,” he wished somberly.

“Let’s leave him to rest, he’s earned it,” commented Mirio as he tried to move the conversation away from the disheveled greenette. “What brings you here?”

“Fatgum a-asked us to get case file TK-131. S-Sir Nighteye approved, he told us y-you’d be here.”

“That must be somewhere in the archive, I’ll help you find it! Have you been waiting long?”

This time it was Kirishima who replied. “Just a minute or two, we heard laughter inside and Suneater told me it was normal and to wait.”

Mirio smiled at his shy friend. “Good! The archive is downstairs, the door on the left, I’ll come help you out in a moment.”

Tamaki thanked him and led Kirishima away, but not before the redhead pumped his fist at Izuku to encourage him, while Mirio made his way back to Izuku.

“I have to help them for a little bit. Think you can handle the machine?”

At that stage, Izuku doubted that the machine’s fluffy appendages could be worse than Mirio’s strong and uncomfortably skilled fingers, so he was almost relieved to hear the offer.

“Great! I’ll just set it, give me a second… So, this would be the third round, so Level 3 it is… standard tools? Yes… 10 minutes… starting in 1 minute. Need a bathroom break?”

Izuku slowly worked his way through the words Mirio was saying to him, elaborating through a cloud of artificial giddiness. 

“S-Sorry you have to… do this on my… account,” he panted.

Mirio shook his head and retrieved Izuku’s bottle to let him drink. “You really have nothing to apologize for. But is it weird if I say I’m doing this because I agree with Sir?”

Izuku allowed himself to chuckle, his sore throat refreshed by the drink. 

“A little bit. But it’s not… so bad.”

Mirio smiled back, remembering only at that moment to remove the band from his forehead. “I’m going to go help them. And not like there’d be anything wrong with it, but we’re not going to hear you downstairs.” He winked and went after the Fatgum interns.

Izuku closed his eyes, trying to steady his breath and slow down his pulse. He could do it. It was just a workout. A very weird workout. And embarrassing, too. But Mirio’spersonality had the power to remove the sting of shame. For the most part. He could do it. He’d been through worse.

He took one last deep breath as the machine whirred to life. He eyed the lower set of openings, the ones of a height with his waist. It was just going to be a bit of fluff, he could take it. Fluff designed specifically to tickle him into submission. Even if that was true, it couldn’t be worse than a human with five fingers per hand!

But as the pink appendages emerged, looking like something in between foxtail spikes and miniature feather dusters, Izuku couldn’t help but notice that there were two per opening, and they immediately got to work, feathering his sides and his even more sensitive hips, from the bone to the waist of his trousers.

“Hehehehehahahahahahahahahaha!!! Hihihahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!! N-Nohohohahahahaha!!”

Izuku, and way too many people around him, knew he was feather ticklish. In fact, he could feel every little barb of each of the four appendages, coming together for an effect greater than the sum of their parts. It felt different from rougher forms of tickling, like it was calling on his skin to come alive, a teasing sensation that was just as intense as form of stimulation with more pressure, but for which laughing did not feel like a suitable outlet, causing him to dissolve into breathy, hiccuping giggles punctuated by the occasional snort - less loud, just as tortured, and, possibly, even cuter.

And just as Izuku started questioning whether he’d underestimated certain things, the machine powered up again, extruding two more pairs of fuzzy appendages that began to oscillate up and down his ribs and in his underarms. What a terrible time to find out that his armpits were just as receptive to soft tickles as his hips.

“Wahahahaahahahahahaihihihit!!!! F-Fohohohohouhuhur wehehehehehehre ehehehnOHOAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaahahahahahahahAHAHhHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!”

But Izuku was in for another disappointment, because amidst his thrashing and laughing, he didn’t notice a panel slide forward under his feet, and an additional four fuzzy appendages got to work on thoroughly tickling his soles from heel to toe, one pair largely focusing on his arch and instep, the other on the ball and the base of his toes.

No new ground was broken this time - Izuku already knew that his feet were also extremely feather sensitive.

“NEEEAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! STHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAPPP!! IHIHIHIT’S TOOHOHOHOHO MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHHCCCHHH!!!”

And that was when he realized that no matter how much he begged, the machine wouldn’t relent, the machine wouldn’t stop. He was on the hook for the entire ten minutes. 10 minutes during which the fuzzy appendages would keep caressing his sides and ribcage, dancing in his underarms, following the defined line of his pecs and back into the sensitive hollows, slithering up and down and across his soles so no matter how much he scrunched or waved them, they’d never escape the tickles, torturously teasing his waist and hips, inevitable.

The specially designed fuzz wouldn’t warp from continuous contact with ticklish skin or by absorbing the moisture of the layer of perspiration it erected as a last defense, no, it would keep delivering surgically precise tickles for the entire time it had been programmed to, without mercy or emotion, the twelve swaying appendages like hands counting down the seconds, and Izuku the hysterical, overstimulated clock face.

It tickled so much and in such a teasing, penetrating way that Izuku couldn’t help fighting against the sensation, trying to distract himself by counting, telling himself it couldn’t be much longer, but the seconds stretched into minutes and the stimulation was overwhelming.

First he stopped thrashing, not because he’d run out of energy or wanted to save it, but because he’d accepted defeat. He wasn’t going anywhere. Once again, he could only embrace what was happening to him, trying to focus on the smaller part that felt pleasant rather than torturous.

Then he stopped begging, which he’d kept up not to convince anyone except himself, that there was something he could do to put an end to it, at least at first, then the pleas melded into a mantra, which was finally broken by the hiccups and snorts.

Finally, he let the tears roll down his cheeks freely, unencumbered by shame or delusions of control, cutting through the freckles and dripping down his neck, allowing the giddiness to consume him.

That was the state Mirio found him in, plus a multitude of hiccups, a minute or so after the machine stopped, having already sent Tamaki and Kirishima on their way.

“Well done! you’ve made it past the halfway point!”

Izuku was too busy huffing and puffing to reply, but accepted Mirio’s offer of another sip of water and declined a toilet break. 

“You know, I was a bit like you a few years back,” said Mirio, filling the silence while he allowed Izuku to recuperate. “I wanted to keep everyone safe. Except for myself, I guess.”

The greenette forced himself to look at Mirio.

“It’s like Sir said. If you die, you can’t save anyone else. Think of all the good you could do in the future.”

Izuku sighed. If only it were so easy. The Quirk he’d been given, All Might’s torch…

“But it’s not just that. I understand you want to prove your worth, but you aren’t just a hero. You’re a person. You have people who love you and a life to live to the fullest.”

That struck a chord within Izuku. How often had he worried that his classmates were putting too much pressure on themselves? That they - no, not even him - weren’t ready for that kind of responsibility yet?

“And if you want to be a hero, be a hero for as long as you can. You have to value your life and respect your body. Got it?”

Izuku thought he could hear echoes of All Might in the upperclassman’s words, and wondered if he’d ever given Mirio a similar speech. Maybe he wasn’t changing his priorities yet, but there was something to that opposing viewpoint, something he’d have to confront, because it came from someone who seemed to understand him.

The green bean swallowed the last of his hiccups to simply say, “T-Thanks.”

“Mull it over, ok? Now we just have to make sure it sinks in. Only two rounds left!”

Twenty minutes. The thought horrified Izuku. No. He wanted it to be over as soon as possible.

“Can… you do it… too?” he asked, pushing down his nervousness. “To… halve the… time.”

The only way out was through.

Mirio would have patted Izuku on the shoulder if the way he was restrained didn’t make it impossible. “A fine choice, Midoriya! No need to turn up the intensity either,” he replied as he programmed the machine.

“You ready?”

Izuku steeled himself, then nodded.

The machine started up again, the appendages instantly sending Izuku into a new fit of hysterics. 

“Hahahahahahahahaha!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!!”

“You’re a brave one,” said Mirio as he walked toward the guffawing greenette. “Now, repeat after me. My life is important,” he instructed as he started squeezing his knees again.

“HEhehehehhahahahahaahahahahaha!!! IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHNNT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA!!”

“Sure you can!” urged Mirio while moving up to Izuku’s thighs, to give him an extra incentive. “My life is important!”

Izuku had convinced himself that with the machine already overwhelming his senses, Mirio’s touches would have lost some of their power. He was wrong.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! M-MYHIHIHAHAHAHAHHAA LIHIHIHHIFE IHIHIHHIS!!! IHIHIHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“You can do it!” said Mirio while kneading his thumbs into the muscle of Izuku’s thighs.

“IHIHIHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! IHIHIMPAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! IMPOHOHOHHAHAHAHAHARTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHNTT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!”

What Mirio was doing, reaching deep under the skin, tickled in a completely different way from the twelve - twelve! - mechanical foxtails writhing in all his most ticklish spots, so instead of diffusing each other, the sensations compounded to instantly make Izuku regret his decision.

“You’re doing great! ‘My health is important!’”

Mirio’s requests prevented him from sinking into the sensation, forcing him to remain present at all times.

It also didn’t help that Mirio had moved his right hand away from Izuku’s thigh and had started scribbling his fingers on Izuku’s lower stomach, causing Izuku to spasm and to let out a loud squeak.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! NAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!”

“My health is important!” repeated Mirio without letting up in the slightest.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAPPP!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MYHIHIHHI HEHEHEHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! IHIHIS IHIHIHIMPOOOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHRT-TAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“I’ll take it. Now for the last one!” promised Mirio while his second hand joined the first in scratching and poking all over Izuku’s abs, more prominent than ever due to the intense workout they were receiving.

“EEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! EHEHEHEHEHHENAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAUUHGHGHGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!”

“You’re almost there! ‘I am important.’”

“HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! IHIHHIAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHMMM!!! IMP-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!!”

“Again!”

“IHIHIHIMPAPPAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! IHAHAHAHAM IIHIHIHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAH!!! IAMIMPORHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!”

“Uh, your belly looks like a pretty ticklish spot too, uh?” observed Mirio while his ten fingers continued to wreak havoc on said ticklish tummy. “Fear no, I came prepared!” he assured, seemingly without considering that he could just stop tickling Izuku to let him speak.

Instead, he pulled a green marker out of his pocket, removed the cap, and started writing something across Izuku’s glistening chest. “I… aaaaaaammmm…. immmmpooorrrrtaaaaannnnnt!”

Unfortunately, the tip also happened to tickle Izuku terribly, and Mirio was dexterous enough that his left hand didn’t have to stop scratching at his belly while he went on writing, tracing over the most ticklish letters smudged by Izuku’s perspiration or that were rendered unreadable by his useless squirming, renewed by the sheer intensity of the double attack.

“What was the second one? Mmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy… heeeeaaaaallllth… iiiiisssss… iiiiimmmmpoooooo-impooooooortaaaannnnt!” he spelled out as he wrote the letters right under Izuku’s pecs, uncovering a new ticklish spot for the greenette.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!! MMMMIHIHIHHIRIOOOOOHOHOH!!! STAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHPPP!!” begged Izuku, throwing all formality out of the window.

“No can do, Midoriya! Myyyyyyyyyyy… llllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffeeeeee… iiiiiiisssss…”

He’d started writing across Izuku’s belly, dodging the rivulets that glistened in the abdominal creases, and if the green bean had hoped that would mean Mirio’s left hand would remain idle or return to a spot protected by his trousers, he was sorely disappointed as the ticklign fingers attacked the underside of his pecs.

“GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!”

“Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmpoooooooooooooooorrrrtaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnt!” concluded Mirio, writing the “o” around Izuku’s bellybutton and circling it repeatedly before dipping the marker into the navel to color all around and inside it.

Mirio uncapped the marker, which gave Izuku enough bandwidth to remember just how awful the fuzz on his hips, soles, and in his underarms tickled, aided and abetted by the appendages still working over his ribs and sides.

“Good job, Midoriya! You’re almost done!” cheered Mirio as all ten of his fingers descended on Izuku’s defenseless tummy again.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAPPP!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIHHAHHAHAHA!!! CAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHANNNTTT!!!”

“You can, I believe in you!” claimed Mirio while his fingers crawled up Izuku’s abs all the way under his chest, and then back down. 

“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!! IHIHIHIT’S SOOOHOHOHO TIHIHIHICKLIIIIHIHIHISH!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! IHIHIH CAHAHAHAH!!! IIIII CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHHAAA!!!”

Total meltdown. Izuku gave up, he had no choice but to, his mind melting into ticklish insanity as the machine lightly tickled his pits, ribs, sides, hips, and feet, seeming to make him even more sensitive to Mirio’s compassionate yet ruthless touches. 

He laughed, and laughed, and laughed, unsure whether Mirio was still talking to him or if his mind was clinging to anything to preserve its integrity, his lungs on fire, his senses overrun by the tickles, unable to see under his own damp curls and tears…

He felt his arms go limp, seemingly having slipped through the restraints. No. The machine had let him go. Neither it nor Mirio were tickling him anymore, even as he still felt the horrid fuzz demanding his ticklish atonement all over his body.

This time, Mirio was really talking to him. “...done for real. Congratulations!”

izuku gave a sheepish nod. Was it over? Was it really over?

“Shall I pick you up?” offered Mirio, and Izuku, tickled into accepting anything, nodded again without thinking.

He felt Mirio’s wiry arms lift him up without effort, and though he maybe should have felt embarrassed - not like his classmates wouldn’t pick him up just because they could - all he felt was safe and relieved.

Mirio gently deposited him on the office chair. “You might want to shower again,” he recommended as he pointed to the sentences written in green on Izuku’s upperbody. But the green bean primarily wanted his ticklish spots out of sight, so he put on his t-shirt anyway.

Mirio retrieved his shoes for him and helped him out, sneaking a few tickles to his sole. Izuku collapsed back into the chair in a fit of happy giggles, but he didn’t pull his foot away, because he could tell the upperclassman would stop immediately, and he did.

“Sorry we had to put you through all that,” said Mirio as he clasped the greenette’s hand to help him stand up.

“I… deserved it,” conceded Izuku, exhausted but also kind of happy. As far as punishments went, intense though it was, it seemed to create no hard feelings.

Mirio retrieved his own duffel bag and walked to the exit with him. “You know, if Sir punishes me tomorrow for lying, you might be able to get your revenge,” he said with a conciliatory chuckle.

Izuku giggled. No, it was ok… “I just… might take you up… on that,” he surprised himself saying.

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, I love your fics. I wanted to request a bat!bro reader who’s 16 where Bruce has split custody with his mum (he grew up with his mum and wanted split) but it turns out his mum was just using him to get money from Bruce and is kind of neglectful? And he always gives it to her bc he’s a mamas boy?

Stay safe and don’t forget to stay hydrated <33

Thanks anon, you stay hydrated too.

Summary: (Y/N) lives with his mom, but it's not going well.

Warnings: Bruce is protective, neglective mom, brothers are worried for (Y/N), Clark is investigating too, emotional (Y/N).

Bruce noticed something about his son (Y/N). He had split custody with his mother because (Y/N) wanted to be with both of his parents equally. Bruce respected that wish and made an effort to work with his mother.

At first, his mom has agreed too and the two of them worked together to make sure that their son is happy. Bruce's other sons were happy with the results and they loved spending a week with the brother.

But now, there is something that has been going on, but Bruce couldn't quite pinpoint it on anything. He noticed that his former fling had much more nicer clothes. Bruce has sent a very hefty sum in child support for (Y/N), knowing that she is a single mom and she is not as rich as he is.

There wasn't anything wrong with buying new clothes for yourself, but he keeps seeing (Y/N) in the same clothes all the time. Bruce has tried to see it in a logical way, but there was a paranoia in his mind.

He knew that there were stories about women using men's child support to pay for themselves, especially if the men are rich and the sums are very hefty.

Just like in Bruce's case.

He didn't want to be paranoid because it would seem like he was crazy, but what if he was right about (Y/N)'s mom? (Y/N) seemed more anxious and more withdrawn. And when he wasn't in that mood, he became clingy, almost like he was deprived of love at home.

He wasn't clingy before and Bruce found it to be suspicious. He thought about involving CPS and other organizations, but he didn't have any official evidence. Just because someone starts being clingy, doesn't have to mean that they are neglected.

However, it is weird.

Bruce made sure to observe what was going on with (Y/N). The others agreed that something was off with their brother. (Y/N) has always been a happy kid, outgoing and loved to hang out with his brothers, dad and unofficial grandfather, but now, (Y/N) has completely changed.

Sure, you could argue that teenagers change and it was true. But not this quickly and not this drastic.

Bruce has officially decided to get involved, deciding to ask Clark for help. Clark is an investigative journalist and he would be able to do this unnoticed. And Clark would do anything do help his nephew.

He just adored (Y/N) and would do anything to make sure that he is okay. So, he has decided to see what (Y/N)'s mom is doing. All of this looked like a case of neglect and Clark could only hope at this point.

Hopes dies last.

But he knew that the chances are slim of that. He made sure that he followed his mom without her noticing. At first, everything was fine. Until he saw that she was rarely home. She spent her days shopping, hanging out with her friends, spending nights with random men...

And amidst all of that, (Y/N) was all alone. He had become an adult. He had to make himself meals, he had to do everything in the house. Not to mention that he had to pay the bills himself.

And recently the heating got cut off because the mom didn't pay it. Now, that was something that Clark couldn't take. His nephew doesn't deserve this.

He told Bruce that and Bruce has called CPS. Those sums are for (Y/N) and not for her. He got a lawyer too and now he had to wait. Now, she refused Bruce to see his own son.

And now she has messed up.

Bruce quickly filed for full custody, not allowing her to use his son as a weapon. Not going to happen. Absolutely not. The court hearings and preceding's were quick and efficient and Bruce was happy that (Y/N) was finally in his custody.

And it was discovered that his mom committed financial crimes and FBI was looking into her. (Y/N) didn't need to know that and he didn't need to be involved in that.

He really didn't need to be involved in that. But the one thing that makes Bruce mad every time he thought about it was the fact that she used his love and manipulated it.

(Y/N) has always been a mama's boy and she used it as a weapon against her own son. And despite (Y/N) being happy that he left that home behind, but there was this... Weird feeling.

He felt guilty and happy at the same time. He shouldn't be happy that his mother is going to jail soon, but at the same time he shouldn't feel guilty that he is now going to have a better life.

But she wasn't a bad mother at first. She was a great mom, but he knew that money has changed her. Those hefty sums were for him and yet, he gave her the amount every month.

He knows he shouldn't blame himself for it, but in the end he does. How he didn't see the manipulation of his love and adoration for her? How could he have been so blind?

So stupid too?

Bruce knew that he had to talk with (Y/N) about the situation. He started living with them full time a little over two weeks ago. It has not been easy for (Y/N), knowing that his mother was a criminal now and completely changing the way he lived.

He was still withdrawn and Bruce knew that he had to talk to (Y/N). He needed to make sure that (Y/N) knows that he is not at fault. Not happening.

He went to his room where (Y/N) was reading and Bruce gave him a smile as he entered the room sitting next to him. (Y/N) marked the page and put the book down.

It has been silent and (Y/N) couldn't really look at Bruce. And what does Bruce does? He brings (Y/N) into his lap, allowing him to finally find some comfort. (Y/N) didn't want to be clingy anymore, but he wanted comfort.

" Now, I want you to just listen and not talk, okay? " Bruce said and (Y/N) nodded.

" None of this is on you. She didn't take good care of you and none of this is on you. Whatever you might see in the media, is not true. You don't have to, no you shouldn't feel guilty. " Bruce has started, gently rocking his son.

He loved to rock him, even when he was a baby he rocked him. (Y/N) loved it a lot and it would always calm him down.

" Now, you mother made her own choices and now she has to answer for them. I know that you feel guilty and once again, you shouldn't feel guilty. You are going to have at least 3 warm meals with us, you won't have to do any chores anymore, you won't worry about bills and more importantly, " Bruce paused, glancing down at his son who was softly shaking while sobbing.

" Now, if you ever need something, do not hesitate. We are all here for you. All of us. From Damian to Alfred. All of us. " Bruce has said, giving him a soft kiss to the side of his head. He nodded to his sons who were waiting outside of the room.

They have entered and hugged their brother tightly, making sure to let him know that he is not at fault. Damian was the one who was the most vocal about it.

(Y/N) was so overwhelmed with emotions, but was happy to have so much support in his life. He didn't really have that support with his mom and all of this has made his head spin. All of it.

But he was happy none the less.

" Thanks guys. Love you all. " (Y/N) said so quietly and Dick openly cooed at (Y/N). Everyone felt their heart bursting from the sheer happiness.

Now they had their brother back. With a little bit more time, he is going to be his old self.

[anxresi]

I Beg To Differ.

Okay, now just because I'm about to embark on an epic rant does NOT mean I think anything bad about you as a person, OP. It's just on this one teensie-weensie most minor of points, I happen to think you're 100% wrong. Just thought I'd clarify that, so no offense intended. Anyway, on with the show...

Nah, they did us SO dirty with Chloe. I hear your above argument a lot, and it WOULD be a fair point… if it wasn't for the fact that there are SO many clear signs this wasn't what was intended from the beginning that it makes your reasoning completely null and void. Chloe's 'arc' was the most blatant case of in-show character assassination I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing, and I'm about to explain why. Read on! (If you want to, that is.... no pressure).

They strung us along for at least three seasons with various hints about her 'traumatic past', her problems with her often absent mother (which Marinette didn't help by encouraging them to bond because 'they're both such awful people'), showed her genuinely apologizing to her victims, protecting Sabrina from akumatization and having times when she treated her as a real friend, sacrificing herself to save the day occasionally, hugging Miss Bustier in a moment of genuine emotion, telling Ladybug how 'useless' she felt in a teary rooftop encounter, saving lives both as a superhero and a civilian (check back if you don't believe me), giving Adrien a moving speech on his phone about how 'she'd always be there for him', sharing a really close bond with her father, telling her butler Jean it was time she started doing things for herself, loving Mr Cuddly, adoring Pollen… I could go on. Not the best person in the world, true.... but a promising start. Green shoots, and all that. Her name literally means that.

S4 simply forgot any of this happened, and literally pushed her burgeoning development off a cliff with Sisyphu's boulder tied to it's big toe. There was NO build-up, NO foreshadowing, NO precedent for Chloe suddenly becoming a one-dimensional total-sociopath irredeemable-monster AT ALL, they simply made her that way on a whim. They had her start acting like a complete psycho for the evilz, made her the most stupid person in the show BY FAR, severed ALL of her few close relationships, wrote AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK EPISODE in incrimate her newfound nastiness even more and 'punished' her by sending her off exiled on a plane in tears with her abusive mother to… what else? Get abused, of course. GREAT MESSAGE TO ALL THE VULNERABLE TEENAGE GIRLS OUT THERE. (I won't even get into how utterly useless and blandly boring her 'replacement' of a plot device Mary S... oops, I mean Zoe is).

And we're supposed to believe the former corrupt mayor Andre, the terrorist Gabriel Agreste and Thomas Astruc (you know him) are the GOOD guys here? Well, I'd like to tell you what I'd like to do to them… but for fear of censorship, I'd better withhold that particular information for now.

The upshot of it is… if Chloe had been bad from the beginning and terrible at the end, I'd have accepted it. Heck, if her so-called damnation arc was even halfway well written and gave us an accurate and compelling look at the moral descent a person who's capable of redemption could take to the light but ultimately chose to stay on the Dark Side, this would've been highly disappointing to me but fine from a storytelling perspective.

But they didn't give us anything like that, did they? It was just… 'pretend the last three seasons never happened, develop amnesia, hit yourself repeatedly on the head with a shovel… we don't care. Just accept this is the NEW Chloe without question despite past evidence, because you won't be getting any answers. Now let's go back to what we're REALLY here for… Marichat, Ladynoire, Adrinette and that other stupid ship name. SWOON!'

Thanks, but no thanks. Did I ever tell you how much I HATE this stupid show? Apologies if I didn't make that clear enough.

[very-straight-blog]

Making Aegon a r*pist was lazy writing, and it only further demonstrate how the screenwriters aren't able to understand the concept of "grey character".

Do I think it should be completely overlooked? No. Because even if he didn't hurt Helaena he did r*pe Dyana (it was completely useless to his character and it only served the purpose of making him appear more irredeemable, but that's beside the point), and he should be held accountable for it by the viewers at the very least.

Do I also think Aegon's sexual trauma — that would be having to sire children at FUCKING FOURTEEN — was grossly overlooked and glazed over not only by the viewers but also by the screenwriters, and that it could have been represented in a vast variety of more poignant ways (for example, instead of making Aemond an SA victim because yes, they could have given Aegon that kind of relationship with the madame and dive deeper on how he seeks the love he doesn't receive from his family elsewhere)? Do I also think the screenwriters treated Aegon unjustly just because they are not capable of handling a male character with such deep, complex scars that cannot be fully explained in an eight-episodes-long series, and have therefore decided to butcher him because they prioritized hype instead of delivering an actual good product to the public?

Yes. Yes to all of that. As a mainly TB fan I felt myself being forced into my faction, because "who would support a r*pist?", and I came to find unjust how unreasonable this argument is: Daemon and Viserys are r*pists too, with the former literally asking young virgins be set aside for him in brothels and the latter being seen forcing himself on Alicent. Neither of them is held nearly as accountable for their misdeeds as Aegon, and to this day I don't understand why.

I agree with everything here in general and will talk a bit about this topic (I like to talk about Aegon, in case someone suddenly didn't notice).

Yes, the show certainly manipulates facts to endear viewers to one character and make them hate another. Almost everyone in this story has done terrible things, but a lot of fans behave as if the incident with Dyana was the worst of them. Well, I don't know, what about those women Daemon slept with in the brothels? Who often didn't want to be there, who were very young, because he preferred virgins. What about that servant who was killed to hide Laenor's escape? What about Rhea, whom Daemon killed in cold blood to marry Rhaenyra? And so on and so forth. And believe me, such planned crimes shock me much more than what the drunken idiot Aegon did without even remembering it later. Once again, did he do a bad thing? Yes. Is he a good person (character)? No. But at least I'm not trying to make him into someone he's not. And yes - Aegon is still an interesting and complex character that I adore. Not a villain and not just a "drunk and r*pist."

The problem is how his actions are presented to the viewer. Our acquaintance with adult Aegon literally begins with this rape scene, this is our first impression of the character. Aegon has eight minutes of screen time in the first season, and three of them are devoted to the discussion of this incident. Plus, they don't give him anything that could justify it. Did Daemon kill his wife? Well, he did it for love. And this is deeply explored, we're forced to sympathize with the character and then we easily forgive him for such an act. Aegon is shown simply as an asshole without any redeeming traits.

Time skips cleverly mask the fact that Aegon and Helaena were teenagers at best when the twins were born. Helaena gave birth to TWO children at such an early age, they became parents against their own will, not being ready for it. It's interesting, it adds depth to the characters, it might explain why Aegon drinks so much - but of course the screenwriters won't show us that.

Again, Aegon's hypersexuality isn't something funny, it's not what makes him an asshole, it's a sign of trauma. He uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.

My thought turned out to be a bit messy and it's time for me to shut up, otherwise I'll never finish, but the point is that the show manipulates the audience to create "the right" point of view for them and it's very annoying. And they also don't know how to create deep, controversial characters at all.

[hlficlibrary]

HL Fic Library 🧡 Kid Fics

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

🧡 the wonderlands by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci {M, 150k}

"Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands."

Harry's daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis' girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.

🧡 Flour and Chocolate by teaandtumblr {M, 145k}

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

 OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

🧡 Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren {E, 92k}

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

🧡 Just Pretend by @kingsofeverything {E, 90k}

Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn't date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she's spending the weekend with her mom.

Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they're dating to keep their kids happy.

🧡 Standing on the Edge of Forever by EllaO {M, 55k}

“So let me get this straight. You took Mr. Squiggles from the classroom habitat, took him with you on your fieldtrip to the zoo, and released him in the aviary?”

Harry Styles is a single father, just trying to keep his life organized after losing his husband four years earlier. Between his daughter, Liam's hellion twins, and Sophia throwing him into any romantic tangle she can think of, life gets a little crazy. Of course, everything changes the moment Lo and the twins get interested in their school musical, The Wizard of Oz. Because the new director, Louis Tomlinson, is just about the most attractive man that Harry has ever seen.

Featuring adorable Dad Harry, hotshot actor Louis, three sassy kids, a badass Sophia Smith, and a Liam who just wants all their kids to be well behaved.

🧡 A Life That We Share (I Owe It All to You) by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings {M, 50k}

When Harry's son came home from school crying he didn't think things could get any worse. Lucky for them, things were just about to change for the best.

or Harry's son get bullied until Louis' son shows up :)

🧡 Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie {E, 46k}

Everyone is chasing, searching, dreaming of their soulmate.

Harry has known who his soulmate is since he was twenty years old, and ever since, he has been waiting for Louis to be ready for him. The unexpected passing of Louis' mum, and the fact that now he is the guardian of his twin two-year-old little siblings, just means that Harry is going to have to wait a bit longer.

A soulmate AU full of cute kids, house building, therapy, and a lot of dreaming.

🧡 hymns for restless stars by @turnyourankle {E, 37k}

Every Holiday season Louis has his pupils write down their Christmas wishes for class. He's read almost every wish under the sun, but one girl's wish takes him by surprise. It's for her uncle not to be alone anymore. It's not a wild wish by any means, but Louis had no idea that former teen idol Harry Styles was lonely in the first place.

🧡 Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16 {E, 30k}

It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.

Or a songfic inspired by the song Chicago

🧡 Love is a Compass by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 {M, 27k}

Louis smiled to himself, knowing what Cameron was hinting at. “Did you want to stay with me in my warm bed?”

Cameron nodded as he slipped his thumb back into mouth, fighting to keep his eyes open now. “Please, Lou.”

“Sure. get some sleep, okay?” Louis hugged him tighter and closed his own eyes, his arms heavy with the weight of the little boy they were wrapped around. Just as Louis was dozing off, his eyes too heavy to keep open anymore, he heard whispered words that shattered his heart into a million more pieces.

“Please don’t go to heaven too, Lou.”

Harry waltzes into Louis’ life when everything seems to be crumbling around him. A dad overnight, grief stricken and learning to be a parent as he goes, Harry helps to bring light, laughter and, of course, baked goods back into their lives.

🧡 Enchanted by @brightgolden {E, 25k}

“My close friends usually call me H,” Harry mumbles suddenly after Louis wraps up his story.

That’s unexpected. “Are you telling me I’m your close friend now?” Louis quips, squinting his eyes at Harry.

OR Where Louis finally meets his neighbour. After a few conversations, he begins to realise he is too weak to resist the charms of the new mother and his six month old daughter.

🧡 Barefoot in Blue Jeans by @indiaalphawhiskey {E, 24k}

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

🧡 Home for Christmas by @haloeverlasting {G, 22k}

The Shameless Hallmark Movie AU you probably didn't ask for.

Or, the one where Harry didn't think he wanted a family, but with a little Christmas magic (and maybe one Louis Tomlinson) he realizes that he is very, very wrong.

🧡 Took Me by Surprise by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird {M, 20k}

Louis Tomlinson and his best friend Bridget had a daughter when they were very young and he was on the brink of becoming the next MLS star. Until he blew out his knee.

A decade later, he's the head anchor of the American version of Match of the Day and is raising the coolest nine-year-old on the planet, who happens to be obsessed with Harry Styles - popstar, musician, and all-around household name.

🧡 The Baby Whisperer by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom {E, 18k}

Harry’s newborn baby is having trouble sleeping and nothing he does seems to work. Tired and alone and at his wits end, Harry is at a loss until a new neighbour arrives to turn his world upside down.

OR the one where being neighbourly takes on a whole new meaning.

🧡 Fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry {E, 16k}

Harry falls asleep a 17 year-old who lives in Cheshire and is probably rockstar Louis Tomlinson's biggest fan. He wakes up 24 with a wedding ring on his finger, two kids, and Louis Tomlinson attempting to wake him up with a blow job. The doctor calls it organic retrograde amnesia, says he might never get back the last seven years of his life. The only thing that feels the same is how he feels when Louis touches him, and maybe that's enough to make him fall in love all over again.

🧡 You're A Universe by Jiksa / @jiksax {E, 15k}

Harry doesn’t ever mean to hurt him; Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s the only thing he ever does anymore.

Or, Louis’s a stay-at-home dad in London and Harry’s a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesn’t know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.

🧡 reckless behaviour by @nouies {E, 13k}

Harry is a retired football player looking for a new opportunity. Louis is the image consultant hired to help him find it.

🧡 It'll Be by @styleandsin {E, 13k}

Louis has always wanted children and he decides he's done waiting for love to come first. However, after adopting a baby girl just days after she's born, he quickly realizes how hard parenting is. Louis hires Harry to be his Nanny, and it all works out great. Until Louis falls in love with him.

🧡 How It Begins (series) by @phdmama {E, 8k}

New town, new job, new school for his daughter. It's a chance to start again for Louis Tomlinson, a clean slate.

Or is it?

[jazjelspen]

the domestic life [pt.1]

(timeskip in the future/child and parent headcanons)

ever wondered what your future child/children would be like with your favorite dorm leader?

(includes: riddle, leona, and azul)

Riddle: Two kids. You and Riddle would most likely have two kids in your years together. In all honesty Riddle would've been happy with just one, but considering how his own childhood was he wouldn't want his child to grow up without a sibling to lean and rely on, he knows how much it would've helped him if he had a sibling himself.

You and Riddle(definitely Riddle) would be easy on your kids but not too much to where they would try to take advantage of it to get away with things since Riddle would try to wholeheartedly avoid any actions his own mother acted upon him in his younger years to keep him in 'line' but he also didn't want his children to slack off too much.

One kid would definitely have more of your physical attributes like hair color, face shape, nose, eyebrows, etc but then have Riddle's strict yet consistent traits when it comes to schoolwork and chores even if you two don't even push or nag your child to do said things, they've just always been naturally responsible. Despite this they are never really as uptight as Riddle was but has a lot of self-expectations and goals they themselves want to reach when they grow up.

Your other kid would definitely have more of your personality traits yet would definitely be more of the loose wild child that loves to have fun and at times can be a bit loud-- nonetheless your second kid would be the spitting image of Riddle with the exception of your eye color being present in theirs and a few beauty marks(if you yourself have any). As much of a slacker this kid could possibly be they are definitely as smart and responsible as their sibling too, they are those kinds of kids that didn't seem to study for a test yet still get high marks for it in the end.

These two as siblings would be a kind of iconic duo, the strictness of one sibling would keep the wild one in line while the wild child helps out their other sibling in learning to have fun, stay loose, and have no worries. Both have their own little study group together if any big and important tests come up, and they both help each other out pretty often. Fights aren't an unlikely occurrence but it's not something you'd see everyday since all they would really fight about is small things such as what game they should play, that they need to focus on school more, and just them having different opinions.

Leona: Three kids. Leona in his former years in NRC never really thought of having any kind of family, let alone more than one kid until he met you. When you both graduated from NRC and moved in with Leona in the palace there was already a hint of talking about your future family and originally you two wanted just two kids, so that your one child wouldn't have to grow up alone. That was until a third one came in and that's when you knew you two really had to calm it down a notch, but even if it was a surprise you two were still incredibly happy to have three absolutely adorable cubs!

Leona as a father definitely wouldn't be called a strict parent but he will always make sure his kids are attending to their studies and other activities, if one seems to be falling behind or in a sort of pause then either you or him will check up on them and help sort out any problem that's hindering them. There is also one thing I definitely want to point out about Leona, he most definitely will not have his children compete against each other or make any of them feel any less than the other! Everyone gets equal opportunities, an equal say in things, and equal chances.

Your oldest cub would have the more stoic and stubborn side of Leona's personality, as the aloof child of three they would most likely be one of those 'edgy' teenagers once they are of the age of adolescence. They have their father's ears, tail, eye color, and skin but would have the more softer features of you such as eye shape, nose, cheeks, and beauty marks(if you have any). They'd also definitely have your hair color and texture. They are smart and cunning in strategy yet they also have their father's competitive spirit, which can hinder them by having trouble in accepting losses at times. No worries tho! You and even Leona will try to get them to relax and accept that sometimes to win you need to accept a few losses first.

The middle cub will definitely have more of an overall resemblance to you aside from the fact that this little one has the tempter of a lion. They have your most prominent features such as eye color, eye shape, hair color, hair texture, nose, and even lip shape! Along with other features from Leona such as their skin, ears, and tail. This one seems like a calmest one out of the three little Kingscholars, an almost gentle soul with a heart of gold. You can sometimes see them sneak out to play with the local hyena children outside the castle, with an accompanying caretaker or even you! Despite these little positive traits this kiddo is definitely a firecracker when angry, they most definitely have the spirit of a lion. Being the most passive yet most aggressive cub out of all three this little one can at times be a bit of a handful.

The third and final Kingscholar cub is more of a better mix of the both of you when it comes to looks. They have their father's bright green eyes, skin, ears, tail, nose, and hair color. While they also have your hair texture, very similar resting expression, beauty marks(if any), eye shape, and even a similar personality. As mentioned just now they have a fraction of your personality while also just being one of the more curious yet shyest of the three, always looking for a sort of adventure despite their young age. They always ask for any stories you and Leona have to share as well as always asking for some magic lessons from their father. They seem more neutral than the other two but deep down it seems that they have a snippet of Leona's hunger for power(mostly magic wise than status). When Leona and you realize this you two try your best to remind them to stay humble and to not fly too close to the sun.

Azul: Two kids. Azul is a busy, busy business man and you both very well knew this. Azul knew that work would get tougher and more demanding of him so he really only considered having one child in his life so he would be able to easily catch up and even have an easier time hanging out with his child and you outside of work!... well that and the fact that he doubts himself constantly. In truth he's always wanted more than one child, but he doubts that even if he wants more than one he wouldn't be able to be as present to both of them equally and the thought alone brings him to tears. It took a lot of encouragement and reassurance from you to help him not only get his confidence in himself as a parent to come back strong but to also have the confidence of having the serious talk of how they'll be able to do this if they want to add another little octopi into the family. In the end after a few talks and some changes to his business and schedule to fit another Ashengrotto in the family you both decided it was time to welcome your next member into the world!

Azul would be both a lenient but strict parent, he wants his kids to be on top of their studies as usual but he also learned from you that there is also always extra time for having fun and relaxing. He would be the parent that is always the sharpest and the most good-looking while picking up his kids from school, as if he came straight out of a business meeting(most likely did). And at the mention of school-- if one day one of his kids come home crying because of a case of bullying by other students you will definitely see him speeding to the school to chew out the parents of the bullies and other authoritative figures that could've helped but didn't. After this you would be able to see Azul giving a small but heartfelt speech from the soul to both of his kids about how no matter what anyone says about them that they will forever be the greatest kids anyone could ever ask for, and that he'll forever be proud of them.

The first Ashengrotto child to mention is a neutral kind of kid, they study well, are good at magic, and have been able to adapt comfortably in the sea in their second form. They do inherit some of your personality traits where they shine in certain situations, but overall they are a very 'matter of fact' kind of kid. They wear glasses the same as their father but they definitely look a lot like you in the physical aspect as well such as hair, facial features, and expressions, may even consider them the spitting image of you! With the inclusion of Azul's iconic beauty mark and his eye color in theirs of course. They would eventually do well in anything related to law thanks to the knowledge of Azul's step-father and himself as well.

The next little octopus is more of the friendly and playful type, loving their homeland ,the sea, and they thrive in their octopus form in there as well. Physical attributes include Azul's silver hair and beauty mark, but your contribution also holds in the color of their eyes. This Ashengrotto has some cute chubby cheeks on their face that their uncle Floyd loves to pinch(Azul always gives him a death look if he pinches way too hard tho). When visiting the sea they make great friends with the fishes and other creatures that sometimes when it's time to go home on land it'll probably be with them crying on the way back home, but in the end there's no need to worry since as they get home their uncles Floyd and Jade will be there! Those two always make days a little extra fun(especially Floyd).

[mpregandproud]

Isaac II (Part 1)

Twenty years ago my life took a 180 degree turn. After separating from my ex-wife Sandra, Isaac came into my life, and with him an adventure that if someone told you about it you would not believe. In just five years I went through five pregnancies and gave birth to seventeen children, no more and no less. With my husband I had eleven of them, and we adopted the daughter I had with my ex-wife, whom I got pregnant before our separation. And we decided to be surrogates for our friends Lucas, Ray and Tom, six more children. Oh yes, I forgot, I am a man, a man who got pregnant. I know, I'm kind of a weirdo. Although Isaac prefers to say it's a “gift given to me by nature”.

While Isaac and I adore our children and thoroughly enjoyed my pregnancies, we decided to stop making babies. With twelve boys and girls per household we had more than enough. We had dreamed of having a big, happy family, especially since neither of us had grown up in large families. The dream of our lives was more complete than ever. Or so we believe at the time.

After having the sextuplets we decided to leave the city and move to the town where I grew up. There we bought a big house in the country. Isaac and I could work from home, and being close to my parents and sister would help us raise little quintuplets Dylan, Nate, Philip, Edward and Cristina, sextuplets Bruce, Ken, Patrick, Charlotte, Ivana and Jason, and Sandra, the oldest of all our children.

This change allowed me to make a major change in my life. I started to take up sports again and regain a healthier way of life. With Lucas, Gary, Samuel and Frank, my former soccer teammates when I was young, we started participating in the veterans' league. Although I never regained the shape I had before I gave birth, I lost my belly and my muscles started to show after years of being hidden under fat. My ass, two large spheres, and my hips, wide as proof of having given birth to a full soccer team with its starting and substitute players included, were living witnesses that inside me the party of life had taken place.

Isaac and I have strengthened our relationship a lot over the years. He is my soul mate. If I ever had any doubts about our marriage, seeing him day in and day out taking care of our children made me fall in love with him like I did the first day I saw him on that soccer field. Now in his 50s, he is the sugar daddy I once dreamed of as a teenager, when I was still trying to convince myself that I liked women. His athletic body and the gray hair that has slightly whitened his hair is like a dream come true. When he comes home from working in the garden, sweaty and dirty, I have to hold back my desire for him to slam me against the wall and plant his potent seed inside me again.

This is not to say that Isaac and I have stopped fucking, in fact we do it more than ever. The years have made us wilder. And now that our older kids are in college and our younger ones are in high school, we have more time to live our passionate love intensely. Maybe we have too much time, and too much passion for no good.

Yes, as you can imagine, the inevitable happened again. Sixteen years after I had last been pregnant I felt morning sickness and a general feeling of discomfort in my body again. I didn't want to believe it at first. Remember that we had decided not to have any more babies, but Mother Nature had other plans. That's why a condom broke, there was a plan to get us pregnant again. Apparently twelve children was not enough, so a new litter was about to arrive. I was pregnant again.

For the first time in all these years I saw Isaac worried. In spite of having experience in the matter, this was going to be my sixth time pregnant, it was not the same to be pregnant when I was 30 than when I was 50. And I wasn't sure that my body would work the same way either.

“What are we going to do, Isaac, do you want to become a father again?”, I asked him the night after we confirmed the pregnancy.

“Daniel, I don't know. I really don't know, it was no longer in my plans to be a father again. I adore our children and I love you madly, but I have more doubts than ever”, he said cuddling up to me on the bed. “I remember when we found out you were pregnant twenty years ago it was you who had doubts, and me who reassured you. But look at me now, I don't recognize myself, I'm scared of what this pregnancy might mean for you, especially knowing that we tend to have many children at the same time”, he was shaking as he told me, so I grabbed his hand and shook it tightly to try to calm him down.

I gave him a little kiss on the crown of his head. “I didn't expect to find myself gestating a child again either at our age and after going through this so many times. I already felt complete with what we had. But today, when the doctor confirmed that we were pregnant, something changed in me. I have doubts, lots and lots of doubts, but also the desire to be a father again with you”, I told him without being able to look at him because I was so nervous. “I think it's clear to me that I want to have this child, or children. It may be our last chance to be parents again. Who knows. And, I'm not going to lie to you, I love how much the pregnancies brought us together before. So, yes, I want to be a father”. I looked down and saw him crying emotionally, as much as I was. Both with tears in our eyes.

Isaac sat up, grabbed my face and said in a breathy voice, “I love you so much. We're in this together, let's get to it”. We kissed passionately and sealed that night by fucking like animals again.

The following week we got our children together. Taking advantage of the fact that the older ones had returned from college that week for summer vacation, it was the ideal time to tell them all the good news. Isaac prepared a barbecue in the garden. We also invited Esther and her children Svetlana and Boris, the children she had with Yevgeni, who died last year in a helicopter accident.

Our best friends, Lucas and Adam, and their children Daniel and Isaac, the first ones I had as a surrogate, also came. They are also our family, our chosen family. For little Daniel and Isaac, our sons are their cousins, and we are their uncles. Lucas and Adam wanted us to be in their lives from day one. I will be eternally grateful to them, as it helped me cope better with the strange feeling of having given birth to children that were technically not mine. I still have a very close relationship with the other children I had as a surrogate, but they live farther away, so I see them less often. And also, Daniel and Isaac were my first, it's something special, hard to explain.

When they were a little older Lucas and Adam explained to the boys that I was the one who gestated them because they could not. Far from being scared, the children became even more fond of me. They say that I am their favorite uncle. When they tell me that in front of Isaac he gets jealous. I love to see him like that. He looks so sexy in those funny moments.

Before we got to desserts I sat for a while with my sister Esther and Lucas, my childhood friend. She has always been very perceptive, so it didn't catch me by surprise that she was the one who asked me the question, “You're pregnant again, aren't you?”. Lucas was silent and staring at me with wide eyes. “The first time you got pregnant you did something similar in Isaac's apartment in the city. You will have many children, but originality is not your strong point,” she said teasing me as only a sister knows how. I sipped my soda and nodded my head. “But don't tell anyone yet, we want to announce it to all of you today”, I winked.

Both Esther and Lucas were concerned about a pregnancy in my fifties. “Are you sure? You and Isaac have sky-high fertility, so knowing your backgrounds it's possible you're expecting a whole basketball team. Isn't that dangerous at your age?” said a very concerned Lucas. “Yes, we are aware of the complications that may be involved, but we want to give it a try. It could be our last chance to be parents again. It's not a planned pregnancy, but we agree that we want to try. We take all the risks”, I told them.

They both gave me a big hug in that very moment. They are the two people who understand me best. Apart from Isaac, I can talk to Esther and Lucas about anything. Their hug felt comforting, they were giving me their approval and support. I knew that in the face of any difficulty I could count on them in this adventure.

From across the garden Isaac was looking at us. I knew that without explaining anything to him, just by seeing the three of us hugging, he was aware that Lucas and Esther knew about the pregnancy and that they were giving me strength. His smile at the sight of us made me feel even more confident in the decision we had made. It would not be a planned pregnancy, but it would be a desired pregnancy.

After desserts we gathered everyone around the table and Isaac was in charge of telling everyone. “Thank you for coming to our house today. For us it is very important to have the family close to us in all our steps as a couple and as parents. We are about to start a journey with many doubts, but that will once again fill this house with love”. He then grabbed me with his left hand and put his right hand on my belly. In case anyone did not understand his gesture, he proceeded to clarify it by shouting it from the rooftops. “We are going to be parents again. We are pregnant!”, he announced with the same joy with which twenty years ago he told that we were pregnant for the first time.

Everyone started squealing with joy and celebrating. If there were any doubts, our family cleared them all. Our children hugged both of us, some of them crying with excitement as Isaac and I were. Sandra, our oldest, gave me a huge hug, then told me that “mommy would be as excited as I am right now. I can't wait to have new siblings". I think a lot about my ex-wife Sandra, and as my daughter said, I'm sure that on a day like this she would have liked to be with us celebrating. I miss her, I hope she is proud of the family we have given our daughter.

Be that as it may, come what children may, we are on this journey together, Isaac and I. Together about to become parents again. Living the best of our lives.

Go to Part 2

[splashstar01]

Unofficial "Gayness Levels" of my 7 TOP TIER fave-of-all-time slash couples

(that I’m doing purely to pass the time whilst sick with covid, don't be mad at ratings, I adore them all & tried to be as non-biased as possible, looking purely at canon moments!! xD)

I TRIED NOT TO SPOIL ANYTHING. PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL.

Warning: This post is anti-Hinny & anti-Arwen. If that triggers you, don't read. In actuality, I don't hate Ginny or Gwen. Ginny got better in HPCC after she was no longer an annoying teenage girl, and Gwen is my fave girl! But I ship her with Lancelot, not Arthur! ;~;

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I will give spoiler warnings, as there are ships where the spoiling just had to happen in order to fully rank them. :| I will give ample spoiler alerts!

I worked diligently for hours each day since coming down with covid (after the 2nd day, because before then I was too weak to move). 

I tried making sure each ship had a proper fighting chance. My ships are like my children lol. X3 I went into this working from the top down, with assuming the best of them and trying to find evidence for why they were 5 stars in each category!! I wanted all my ships to get 5 stars across the board. But I also had to be partial/realistic, supporting the 5 stars with evidence, or lack thereof, in some cases.

Ships on the list (in no particular order. No, really, I used a randomizer to pick order lmao):

Renga

Drarry

Hannigram

Destiel

Asheiji

Merthur

Scorbus

Anime: Sk8 the Infinity--Renga (Reki & Langa)

Pros:

Deep Emotional Connection 

Affectionate 

Strong Chemistry

Semi-Canon Status

“During his beef against Shadow (a rival) in episode 1, his skating when he’s just coolly, narrowly avoiding rocks in that long 18-second cut, and his final jump, I fell in love with him just as Reki did when he saw Snow (Langa's skating name)!” ~Utsumi (creator)

Cons:

Lack of Explicit Romance: While the emotional and psychological depth of their relationship is clear, there’s no explicit romantic resolution in the canon yet (we only just got done with season 1). Fans are left with a lot of subtext, which, while meaningful, can be frustrating for those seeking concrete confirmation of their relationship beyond friendship.

One-Sided Vulnerability at Times: While Langa expresses his admiration and need for Reki in more overt ways, Reki tends to hide his struggles and insecurities, which at times creates emotional distance. Their dynamic leans more towards admiration and personal growth than deep codependence.

Ranking Renga's Gayness:

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ 

Their frequent proximity and shared physical activities, like skateboarding and emotional hugs, show a lot of closeness. Their body language often communicates a sense of care. Skating together in such intimate, trust-filled moments adds a subtle layer of physical intimacy. While there aren’t overt romantic physical gestures, their body language and frequent proximity (like skating together and often emotional literal flying-bodies-on-the-ground hugs) show a lot of closeness. Their skateboarding together, sharing intimate experiences like teaching and encouraging one another, could be interpreted as a form of touch. But also once they shared a skateboard ;) Like, how gay is that? rofl xD

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ Their emotional connection is the heart of their relationship. They provide each other with significant emotional support, and the anime highlights moments of vulnerability, particularly as Reki works through feelings of inadequacy while Langa seeks connection. Langa, a former snowboarder, relies on Reki to rediscover his love for -boarding (now skateboarding) after moving from Canada, while Reki finds confidence in Langa’s presence and validation in their friendship. Langa’s conversation with his mom, where he blushes while discussing his crush on Reki, further highlights the depth of their emotional bond. Reki and Langa openly support and encourage each other, creating a strong foundation for emotional intimacy. They have a close, supportive friendship with many moments of emotional vulnerability. Their emotional bond is built on a strong foundation of deep mutual care and admiration.

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★☆ There are elements of obsession, especially on Langa’s side, as he becomes fixated on skating with Reki and their shared bond. Their relationship also affects their self-worth and happiness, which speaks to a subtle codependence. Langa cannot perform well without Reki, who is his main reason for skating. When they drift apart, their emotional turmoil is palpable, especially for Reki, who struggles with feelings of inadequacy. They lean on each other for emotional support and personal growth, though for Reki it doesn't cross into full-blown obsession or unhealthy codependency. Because the obsession/codependence is a little bit 1-sided, they get 4 stars instead of 5. 

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Reki sacrifices his time and energy to help Langa become a better skater, even when it impacts his own self-confidence. Meanwhile, Langa shows his deep affection by trying to bring Reki back into the fold after they drift apart. Both make sacrifices to maintain their friendship and emotional bond, though these are more emotional than life-threatening. Reki sacrifices his confidence and emotional security for Langa's sake, as he struggles with feelings of inferiority. Langa also makes emotional sacrifices by never flaunting how much better of a skater he is. Langa also takes Reki’s jealousy without retaliation or anger, only deep sadness. They each compromise and grow from their relationship, making personal sacrifices for the sake of their bond. While their sacrifices are more emotional than physical, they’re still significant.

During this fight, it was even raining. What a het trope, lol. Fighting in the rain... XD This was completely intentional.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ Their chemistry is undeniable, with a mix of playful banter, deep emotional support, and moments of jealousy and longing. Whether skating together or simply interacting, their dynamic is magnetic, and their friendship feels full of unspoken tension and affection. The chemistry between Reki and Langa is electric, with strong emotional tension and moments of clear admiration. Their relationship balances moments of fun and lightheartedness with deep emotional conflict and resolution, making their connection dynamic and impactful. The fact that fans—and even the creator—acknowledge Reki’s love-at-first-sight moment highlights the romantic potential. The dynamic between them is filled with tension and warmth, as they balance moments of fun, teasing, and heartfelt connection. Their bond drives much of the emotional intensity in the series, with their skateboarding journey acting as a metaphor for their relationship. (The show is mostly about their relationship, with skateboarding as a side/distraction lol)

How Canon?: ★★★★☆ 4.5 Renga falls into the semi-canon category, with the creator’s commentary and Langa’s blushing reaction to his mom asking about his feelings for Reki. The romantic subtext is strong, and there’s creator intent to show Reki and Langa’s relationship in a romantic light. The creator openly discussed Reki’s admiration for Langa from the start. However, despite these clear hints and the romantic subtext, there’s no explicit confirmation of their relationship on-screen, keeping it from being fully canon for now. Nonetheless, the anime provides more than enough material to consider them as a semi-canon romantic pairing.

During episode 8, while Langa's mom was asking him about why he seemed so down in the dumps, his mom related his story to an experience she once had, presumably about his dad. Because of that, she tells him it would be better if he was honest about his feelings. She asks him to confirm, (in both English and Japanese dubs), "You like this person, don't you?" Langa replies with a shocked yet toned down blush, and eventually Utsumi (the creator) confirmed he does romantically like "this person" (Reki). During that same episode, in the original Japanese dub, his mom says it as "Sukina ndesyo?" which translates to what the English sub or dub said. The word "Suki" In Japanese means "like", however, in contexts like this, it translates to "romantic love."

Final Summary:

Touchy-Feely Levels: 5/5  ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession/Codependence: 4/5 ★★★★☆

Sacrifices: 5/5  ★★★★★

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

How Canon?: 4.5/5 ★★★★☆

Total: 4.75 out of 5 stars

2. Series: Harry Potter--Book!Drarry (Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter)

Both original Harry Potter book artwork by Jim Kay.

Before reading the books, I thought Drarry was a total crack ship & I didn't like movie!Draco. I thought he was a simple bully. I read the books for Snape x Lily. But Snily ship sunk faster than the Titanic, and in its place was this glorious OTHER! Drarry actually has a ton of textual evidence/support & I couldn't deny the gay anymore lool.

Pros:

Obsession & Codependence

Chemistry

Sacrifices

Tons of Intimate Moments (in the official last installment, the play HPCC--Harry Potter & The Cursed Child (which focuses on Harry & Draco's sons Scorbus (who is also on this list). Most of the fandom hates HPCC, but it's the book with one of the best drarry so I'll gladly take it lol.)

JKR (the TERF) randomly hates Draco, & she hates the ship. BUT: I compiled the Drarry Bible, a 98k word doc of all the Drarry scenes/how they are accidental literal soulmates! Read first if you're mad about smthn I said (even if you've read the series—many Drarry shippers have been stunned by its contents). I have text proof!

Cons:

Never becomes canon—it's mostly fan interpretation of the canon text where JKR accidentally writes them out as utterly in love. I was never looking for the gay with Drarry. I disliked Draco, I was there for the Snily. Why would I want Harry with his bully? The gay ran me over.

Very little physical intimacy, though the emotional intensity is powerful and the times they do have physical intimacy are very profound.

Obsession & Codependence:

"Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy." ~Harry Potter & the Half-blood Prince

Rating: 5/5

Obsession levels are extremely high for both characters. Draco spends a good chunk of the series fixated on Harry, while Harry reciprocates by fixating on Draco’s every move (even when he's not being suspicious, which is most of the time). The fact that they stare at each other, know each other’s habits, and even unintentionally hurt themselves due to this obsession solidifies this. Codependence emerges in how much they seem to thrive on this rivalry and attention from each other. Their mutual fixation and obsession with each other feel incredibly intense, with shades of romantic tension, especially given how the entire school, even staff, pick up on it. Their obsession feels very queer-coded, even if not canonically romantic.  Draco spends five out of seven books completely fixated on Harry (even in books where he's not like The Half-blood Prince & Deathly Hallows, there's still plenty of gay)! And Harry is obsessed with Draco in return.

From the Drarry Bible:

They are constantly staring at each other for no good reason (like all the way across the Great Hall during lunches). They shout at each other all the way across the Great Hall too, making their obsession obvious for the whole school (because the whole school has same lunch period). They are literal walking encyclopedias of the other. Draco talks about Harry constantly to anyone who would listen (Harry is his favorite topic...), and thus the whole school knows about his big gay crush on Harry, including the staff, his parents (especially his father who told him to STFU about Harry since he was talking about Harry literally all summer lmao), and even Voldemort was highly suspicious in the last book, to Draco's father's horror. Harry is equally obsessed over Draco, so much so that he gets hospitalized because he’s thinking about Draco too much during a Quidditch match and gets hit. Also, the staff, Draco’s mother, and Ron’s dad knows about Harry’s crush on Draco (Ron’s dad is amused by it)… Draco is so obsessed over Harry that he makes ‘Potter stinks’ badges and charms enough for all 3 Houses and gives them out for FREE! (He's his own personal Harry Potter fanclub..) And Harry, despite pretending to be furious, secretly kept one! (He brought it home and kept it under the bed with the rest of his special souvenirs from school lolololol I can't even with this!) Their last encounter before that school year was out (his only time to be able to have taken a Potter Stinks badge) was even another argument with Draco on the train.. Lmaao! And all along, little did Draco know, Harry had a badge tucked away on his person. And brought it home with him. And it still works even years later because that’s how much care Draco put into making them (who does this??) And there’s no way you would put all that effort into doing it for someone you’re not totally crushing on but talk about constantly and watch all the time and use every excuse in the book to try to talk to.  Like one year he even faked an arm injury and then later admitted to Harry he was just trying to get Harry to help him out in their class. So he kept complaining until Snape finally gave him Harry as a lab partner. XD This gay, I swear.

2. Chemistry:

Rating: 5/5

The enemies-to-something dynamic creates a palpable push-pull tension. Draco’s teasing and Harry’s confused reactions lead to charged moments, and their chemistry seems more alive than with other characters. The emotional and physical energy between them is notable and strong. Draco teases Harry constantly because he's upset Harry rejected his friendship (this was confirmed by Draco himself in his confession to Harry in HPCC). Harry confusing anger for arousal (he'll be "mad" but stares constantly, never agree with Ron when Ron makes fun of Draco's looks or wishes ill on him, & immediately perks up at any mention of Draco's name bc Draco is also secretly his fave topic lol). Draco’s teasing, and their back-and-forth feels emotionally charged and reads like many classic queer-coded rivalries.  The push-pull, enemies-to-something dynamic is strong. Draco and Harry have a charged energy whenever they’re around each other. As Draco smirks-winks at him, Harry sometimes acts the part of the 'blushing maiden' with Ron to defend him. His face flushes, and he gets really quiet sometimes. One time Harry was standing towards the front of the school and all the other kids were standing too, but Harry was wondering where Draco was, so he turned his head and looked for him as Dumbledore was speaking, and Draco was sitting instead of standing, and staring straight ahead. So Draco obviously sees Harry just try to find him and Harry just turns back to the front after finding Draco (which totally gave himself away). That's like, so fucking embarrassing. JKR said Ginny was meant to represent his dead mother Lily, which is why like Lily, Ginny has flaming red hair. (Kinda creepy to make the wife physically look like the mom, but okay.) Not to mention, with Ginny's family, which is Ron's family since Ginny is Ron's little sister, the family basically adopted Harry in as their own, making them Harry's first 'real' family. This suggests that his connection with Ginny is more about emotional security than romantic passion, which explains why he's never truly as obsessed with her as with Draco. Their het romance was so sudden and lacking in passion that some fans theorize Ginny used a love potion. (Literally, Harry had a bigger girl crush on Cho than he ever did Ginny.) Harry & Draco’s obsession with each other is love-potion extreme all throughout the series (the way Harry would be with Draco would almost feel like the way Ron would describe his feelings this one time Ron accidentally took a love potion). In HPCC, they are friends and without even being there for their intimate 1v1 talks, they must be acting so friendly because Ron points out that they’re so “chummy-chummy” now! And their Quidditch matches became like their impromptu dates that they both looked forward to. (Harry was hospitalized bc Draco was skipping his matches that year, so during a match with Hufflepuff, he was thinking about where Draco could be and that's when he was hit. (Everything I say are book passages--feel free to search them up in the Drarry Bible above.)

3. Sacrifices:

Rating: 5/5

Both make significant sacrifices for each other, risking not just their lives but the well-being of loved ones. Draco’s risking the lives of himself and his family’s for Harry is particularly telling given JKR confirmed that nothing is more important to him than family (except Pottah I guess *snicker*)! While Harry repeatedly saves Draco, even risking the lives of himself and his two besties who are like his own family (of course Harry is an orphan and has no living blood relatives except the Dursleys, so the few found family he has are everything to him…..) During the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco saves his life from his two friends, screaming “DON’T KILL HIM! DON’T KILL HIM!” (Draco rarely ever screams) and of course when Draco needs rescuing immediately after, Harry is the first one there!! Even as Ron screams that if they die, he’ll kill Harry lol. So Harry risks the lives of his two best friends to fly back in and rescue his big gay crush. He rescues Draco while his friends get Goyle. Harry honestly didn’t give a shit about Draco's friends, he was going straight for Draco. If he’d really cared about rescuing the one in most need, he would’ve gone for Goyle first who was in much worse shape….. Or Crabbe. Crabbe ended up dying in the fire. 😓

Though this doesn’t cement a romantic relationship, the emotional investment is high. Sacrificing one’s life or risking safety of other loved ones for each other shows deep emotional ties. The risk-taking for each other’s sake has undertones of devotion that could easily be read as a more-than-platonic connection. Harry's repeated acts of saving Draco’s life, even putting his best friends at risk, and Draco's willingness to risk his family's safety for Harry, show a profound level of sacrifice. The fact that both characters are willing to risk everything for each other, including their lives and the well-being of loved ones, underscores the magnitude of their sacrifices and devotion. Draco’s intense vulnerability in HPCC further emphasizes the depth of their emotional connection. Draco shows an intense vulnerability in the final book, opening the door for an emotional connection for HPCC. Unlike the movies, he never goes to Voldemort’s side in the end. He chooses Harry’s side, even though Harry’s side isn’t his parent’s side. He does this because he soon realized in book 6 that he can’t stomach violence (unlike James Potter—Harry’s violent bully of a father who was planning the murder of a fellow student but backed out last minute), but also I’m sure Harry being over on that side pushed him over the edge.  Even during the duel from HPCC, where Draco initiated it as he was trying to get Harry to allow their gay sons to be together, Draco didn’t really want to hurt Harry. His attack spells were mild, much less lethal than his spells during school in their duels (like, Harry used two spells: tickle & forced dancing... while Draco used spells that shoved Harry and etc etc.. it was all very mid).

4. Emotional Intimacy:

Rating: 5/5

So Draco always wants to use every excuse to talk to Harry. That's why every single year on the train (except the 6th book, there was no 7th year since Harry went on the run that year), Draco would go meet up with Harry to talk to him before school starts probably because he missed him over the summer. awwwww LOL. And in the year Draco didn't go to him, Harry put on an invisibility cloak and went to Draco, because Draco, a 16 yo kid (mind you, in HP, 17 is legal adult age), went shopping without his mother! And this going shopping alone made Harry so suspicious of Draco and Harry's two friends were with him the whole time, but neither of them thought it was that suspicious and they literally get so sick of Harry talking about Draco non-stop that year that they tune him out. Harry proceeds to use a magical map to track all of Draco's movements that year, going as far as ducking into bathroom stalls to check where Draco is. LMAO! These boys will be the end of me... -,-; HPCC adds fuel with their intimate conversations where Draco confesses his true feelings about their school rivalry—that he just wanted to be besties with Harry & was jealous of Ron & Hermione because they got to be Harry’s friends while he had to force his way into Harry’s life through mean teasing just to be able to talk to him! Their interactions go far beyond what we see in Harry’s interactions with many other characters in the play, and now that they’re adults and civil, the depth of their bond escalated like wildfire, which leaves the audience wondering how much closer they would get after the play when they’re now actual friends! Considering their innate obsession with one another and need to be close….. And the fact that Harry and Draco are both pretty queer-coded gay men.... (The books are told from 1st POV so we know exactly what Harry was feeling and who he kept staring at, and he was definitely never staring at Ginny....)

Emotional intimacy is often a hallmark of romantic or queer connections. The vulnerability Draco shows and the fact that he was so obsessed with becoming friends with Harry shows a deeper connection than rivalry. In HPCC, Draco admitted to Harry that he was never jealous of his fame, just his friends. Naturally, Ron got to be friends with Harry, so that's why Draco had such a hatred for him.

Harry knows Draco better than anyone else, even though Draco is really good at hiding his feelings with occlumency (the magic of closing one's mind against mind reading, which requires a strong ability to hide feelings). Harry is the only one who can still see past it despite the fact that they’re not even friends. Likewise, Draco knows Harry really well and is the only one to know Harry well enough that he knew Harry wouldn’t attack those students in Chamber of Secrets during a time when most of the school suspected Harry. He also knew that Harry wasn’t the heir of Slytherin despite most of the wizarding world, including his dad who he idolizes, thinking Harry must’ve been some dark wizard in order to blast Voldemort away as a baby. 

In HPCC, Draco was the one who was most worried for Harry when Harry volunteered to go confront Voldemort (I cannot make this up, he was literally panicking like how he does in fanfics.... llol like aww so sweet), and Harry was the one Draco was most worried about, despite the fact that Harry was the head of the DMLE (Department of Magical Law Enforcement—Head Auror) AND the only one to have repeatedly gone face to face with Voldemort & lived of all the people there (Ron, Harry, Hermione, Draco, and their gay 14 year old sons). 

Harry worries endlessly about Draco when he knows Draco is in a tight spot. They are soulmates, one half of the same whole. They are the only two who really know what the other went through in regards to Voldemort. Harry saved Draco in more ways than one. In HPCC, they had far more special moments with each other than with literally anyone else in the play, far more than Harry with his wife (Draco’s wife died of illness at the beginning of the play). 

In the books, Harry was never really attracted to any of the girls. His biggest girl crush was Cho (crush on Ginny/wife doesn’t even come close so the fandom never talks about her because there’s barely any book quotes to bounce off of!), but even that crush paled in comparison to his obsession over Draco. Even though Cho's table was closer to his, he'd never look at her during lunches... He'd look right over her to look at Draco.................. YUP. This is why Drarry is such a huge ship. JKR was not subtle.... yet she claims Drarry is all in our heads! In Harry's internal monologue, he was mostly checking out other guys, but mostly Draco. Literally all the guys he thought were handsome had Dracos’s eye color! 🤔 Sus much? LMAO. There was no guy he found attractive that did NOT have Draco’s eye color.

In HPCC, Draco was so quick to forgive Harry (he was mad enough that he went to Harry's house and started fighting him and they fucked up the kitchen by throwing chairs etc.. & generally reverting back to their schoolboy days!!! lmao), even though Harry never apologized! They have such soft spots for one another, and Harry is always just as fast to forgive, esp in school. v_v

The depth of their connection is highlighted by their intimate conversations in HPCC, and in all the books, their deep understanding, and concern for each other. Their interactions go beyond typical rivalry, displaying vulnerability, trust, and a soulmate-like bond. The way they save and forgive each other, along with their unique understanding of one another’s experiences w Voldemort. Everything thus far suggests an extraordinary level of emotional intimacy that Harry doesn't even have with Ron. Ron and Harry are like, BFFs, but Draco is like the boyfriend/lover. Different types of closeness. They have a profound, unspoken connection where they are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, coupled with the significant moments shared between them.

In the main books, Harry went to fight Voldemort with Draco’s stolen wand that he didn’t officially win in a duel. Wands are a wizard’s heart & soul. And also Draco’s wand was unicorn-core, meaning it’s extremely loyal. Harry shouldn't have been able to get it to work, but Draco’s wand was friendly towards Harry, unlike Draco’s maniacal aunt Bellatrix’s wand. So, because Draco’s wand, along with Harry, defeated Voldemort, Harry was basically fighting Voldemort with Draco’s heart and soul. Aawweeeee. Gayeest battle lmao, and just like that, DRARRY saved the day/world! The wand was only friendly with Harry because it could sense that Draco truly cared for Harry…. 😏 In HPCC, Harry and Draco talk as friends for the first time, and Draco stops calling him 'Potter,' while never once using Ron's first name lol. Draco is also the only one able to get through to Harry on a topic that not even Ginny or McGonagall could. They bond and their moments together are so electric, unlike any other relationship in the play aside from their gay sons.

5. Touchy-Feely:

Rating: 2.5/5

There’s little physical touch beyond duels and Quidditch, where Draco’s physical attacks seem to have an undertone of excitement (like literally in HPCC.. where Harry used a tickle spell on Draco and also a dancing spell....LMAO XD like.. bruh... just ask him for dance lmao). Physical intimacy is minimal but emotionally charged. The touchiness is more indirect, stemming from aggressive physicality, but in the context of their obsession, it seems like Draco gets some satisfaction from the physical encounters. When Harry rescued Draco from the fiendfyre, Draco was “holding Harry so tightly it hurt” and shouting in his ear. ;) lmaoooo. How.... intimate.

While physical touch is minimal, the moments that do occur are emotionally charged and hold significance, particularly in the context of their interactions. Draco would always try to hit him during their Quidditch matches because he seemed to get off on any sort of touch with Harry. The touch is more about tension, aggression, and heightened emotion rather than tenderness, but it still conveys a sense of intimacy, especially in moments like the fiendfyre rescue.

6. How canon? 

Rating: 2/5

While Drarry is not canonically confirmed as a romantic relationship, the strong obsession, chemistry, and emotional intimacy make it a compelling interpretation for many. Their secret love is definitely real in their world, since JKR wrote them that way--as closet gays by total accident, but the official canon does not explicitly confirm their romantic connection. ;_;

Final Summary:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession & Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Touchy-Feely: 2.5/5 ★★★☆☆

Canon? 2/5 ★★☆☆☆

Total: 4.08 out of 5 stars

3. Show: Hannigram--(Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham)

Pros:

Obsession & Codependence

Intimate Moments

Chemistry

Sacrifices

When asked about the relationship between Will and Hannibal: "For me, Hannibal has always been a romantic horror story. Even from the get-go of the series." ~Bryan Fuller (Creator)

Cons:

Not the touchiest duo in terms of physical affection—this is all about the mental, emotional, and psychological tango.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 The chemistry between Hannibal and Will is both terrifying and compelling. Their intellectual sparring, emotional vulnerability, and seductive manipulation create a deep, electrifying connection. Even without explicit romantic actions, the tension between them is palpable in every scene, pulling them together in a destructive yet irresistible bond. Every glance or exchange feels weighted with unspoken desire. Their chemistry is magnetic and dangerous. Every scene between Will and Hannibal is charged with tension. Their chemistry builds on manipulation, psychological games, and seduction, creating a connection that feels as inevitable as it is destructive. Even without traditional romance or intimacy, their bond is electrifying and nearly impossible to look away from. Electrifying, built on mutual manipulation, psychological chess, and seduction.

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5/5

Hannibal and Will's intimacy comes from their deep psychological connection rather than physical affection. Their relationship is built on understanding each other's darkest desires and fears, allowing them to share a closeness that few could replicate.

Though physical touch is rare, the sheer intensity of their mental and emotional intimacy makes their relationship profoundly intimate. While Will and Hannibal’s relationship isn't traditionally physical, their intimate moments are charged with emotional depth and psychological intensity. They share many intellectual exchanges that build the feeling of closeness. They even ‘adopt’ a daughter together and Hannibal planned to have them all run away together. They have an intense intellectual intimacy.

Obsession & Codependence: ★★★★★ 5/5 Hannigram is defined by mutual obsession. Hannibal’s fixation on Will is all-consuming, while Will is constantly torn between his own fascination and fear of Hannibal, creating a dark, codependent relationship where both seem incapable of letting go of each other. Their love becomes destructive but undeniable, spiraling into mutual obsession. They are unable to escape each other, deeply intertwined in a codependent relationship. Their unhealthy dependency elevates their connection to an extreme, spiraling into an all-or-nothing love that leaves no room for anything else in their lives. Off the charts! Hannibal’s love is an all-consuming, dangerous obsession. Will’s constant mental push-and-pull with Hannibal’s influence shows a deep, dark co-dependence.

Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5

*SPOILERS FOR ENDING IN THIS SECTION OF SACRIFICES*

Both Will and Hannibal are willing to sacrifice everything for the other—morality, lives, innocence, and even their own sanity. By the end of the series, they are both willing to kill for each other (Hannibal even kills someone he loves deeply for Will), and the finale showcases that ultimate willingness to die together with the cliff scene—where they metaphorically and literally fall together—marking their ultimate sacrifice for their bond. It’s the kind of all-consuming bond where nothing is off-limits. Will sacrifices his sense of self. Hannibal sacrifices his plans, resources, and carefully cultivated image just for Will. Will, despite being a force for good, is willing to compromise his values, embrace darkness, and sacrifice the safety of others for Hannibal.

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★☆ 4.5/5 They share many sensual moments that add to the relationship's intensity. When Hannibal and Will touch, it's brief but deeply charged, loaded with meaning. Not to mention, they almost kissed in the series finale! The physical touches between Will and Hannibal are subtle yet charged with deep emotional and psychological intensity. These touches include Hannibal’s caring, almost possessive gestures like touching Will's face during so-called “medical examinations,” symbolic dream sequences where they merge together, and the highly intimate moments like when Hannibal cradles a wounded Will or helps him to his feet after a fight. They excel in emotional and psychological closeness, and when the physical aspect is present, it feels like an event—transformative, even. While not overly frequent, these moments reflect their complex, entwined relationship, blending care, control, and fascination.

Their almost-kiss:

How Canon: ★★★★★

Creator Bryan Fuller has confirmed that Hannibal was always meant to be a romantic horror story, and the series shows that explicitly by the end. The romantic subtext becomes full-on text, particularly in the final two seasons, with both Will and Hannibal entangled in a twisted, deadly love story. There’s no ambiguity here—by the end, their love is openly acknowledged by the characters, even if it manifests in the most dangerous of ways.

Final Summary:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession & Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Touchy-Feely Levels: 4.5/5 ★★★★☆

How Canon:  5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total: 4.91 stars out of 5.

4. Show: Supernatural--Destiel (Dean Winchester & Castiel)

Pros:

Sacrifices 

Chemistry

Obsession & Codependence

Intimate Moments

Cons:

*Spoilers for the end*

Dean’s side of things is a little more ambiguous despite Cas’s confession. Plus, they never fully addressed it beyond that.

1. Chemistry: ★★★★★

Level: 5/5

*SPOILERS*

The chemistry between Dean and Cas is electrifying, built on years of longing, emotional tension, and deep connection. They have 12 seasons of unresolved tension, with countless lingering looks and longing stares, moments of vulnerability, and emotional conversations. It's the kind of chemistry that often leaves viewers wondering why they haven't kissed yet. The show builds their interactions like a slow-burn romance that plays on subtlety and emotional depth, though it’s more about their soulful connection than physical. Cas’s confession solidifies what fans had known for years: that their bond went beyond simple friendship. The way Dean and Cas interact, often like a long-term couple with unresolved feelings, makes their chemistry undeniable, even though it took seasons for the show to confirm it outright.

Literally all the characters thought they had a thing for each other. LOL. Many joke that they are boyfriends and "attached at the hips."

2. Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★

Level: 5/5

Their emotional intimacy is high-level. They are a very serious couple with deep emotional issues that they have to sort out. (Like long-term husbands do. V_V) This ship is a deeper/more serious pairing for sure, though they do have moments of humor. Dean allows Cas into his guarded heart, which is no small feat, and Cas is always there for Dean through every moment of vulnerability. Their deep conversations and emotional moments reveal layers of feelings that go beyond mere friendship. We finally got the canon confirmation of Cas’s love for Dean after over a decade of so-very-obvious pining, making the relationship feel even more profound and intimate.

3. Obsession & Codependence: ★★★★☆

Level: 4/5

Dean and Castiel’s relationship is incredibly co-dependent. Cas literally falls from heaven for Dean and sacrifices everything—his family, his angelic duties, even his life—multiple times for him. Dean is deeply torn between his responsibilities and his feelings for Cas. They constantly come back to one another after fights and disagreements (where 95% of the time, Dean is in the wrong), with Dean repeatedly apologizing and choosing Cas, and of course, Cas always is very willing to take him back and accept his apology, even after this one time when he beat Cas to a bloody pulp and almost stabbed Cas to death. Dean later got flashbacks of this, as it traumatized him. (Dean was not in a good place. He was battling the Mark of Cain, which he willingly took on to save the world, as he, being so selfless and self-sacrificing, tends to do.) Their obsession with each other drives many of the show's conflicts, creating an undeniable codependency. They often live/travel together and are total husbands! Their lives revolve around each other. They (along with Sam) raise an adopted newborn son together in their bunker/permanent home, and the son calls them his “three dads.” 🥺 Very domestic! (Their infant son is 2 by series finale but chose to come into the world in the body of a 27-year-old man—the same age as Jensen/Dean in season one, because he knew otherwise he wouldn't be safe. GOOD CALL!) The only reason they lose a star is because Dean will always put his brother Sam above all else, so Cas will never truly be his number one. Meanwhile, Cas’s entire character arc revolves around Dean, while Dean is constantly torn between the mission and his feelings for Cas.

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★☆

*SPOILERS FOR THE END IN THIS SECTION*

Level: 4/5

Cas repeatedly sacrifices everything, including his angelic status, heaven, his powers, his family, and eventually, his life, all for Dean. Dean, in turn, sacrifices his emotional barriers, constantly letting Cas in despite the risks to his heart. Dean shows sacrifice in his emotional openness. Cas’s ultimate sacrifice, confessing his love and then dying whilst saving Dean’s life, is the culmination of years of devotion. Castiel’s sacrifices are larger in scale than Dean's, often costing Cas everything. Castiel's arc is defined by his devotion to Dean, making him one of the most selfless characters in the series. Cas literally died for Dean—multiple times. Cas throws away all of heaven/his family that he’s known since the beginning of time all for Dean. Dean has repeatedly shown emotional vulnerability and trust towards Cas, which is significant given Dean’s mega-guarded ‘macho’ nature. This emotional openness often puts Dean at risk of emotional pain and betrayal (Dean has secretly cried many times over Cas, and this man doesn't cry!) Dean has said that he considers praying to be begging, but yet he prays to Cas all the time, especially when they can't be together, or are in the middle of an argument and are physically separated. Dean’s dedication to Cas sometimes strained his relationships with others, including his brother Sam, and led to conflicts. But because Cas’s sacrifices are far more extreme and Dean’s sacrifices are much less, they get 4 stars. Ultimately, Cas overwhelmingly sacrifices more with much less in return.

5. Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★☆☆ 3.5/5

Level: 3.5/5

Dean and Cas have an intense emotional connection, and although they aren't the most physically affectionate, there are a number of moments of close physical proximity, like when they hug (which they do five times!), or their many lingering touches, pats on backs or shoulders, eyesex, longing stares, one time Cas even showed up on Dean's car naked and covered in bees (LOL), but they lack the constant hand-holding and easy constant physical affection or constant physical proximity that might we see with some other slash ships. This is likely due to the show’s ambiguity surrounding Dean’s feelings. Their relationship thrives on emotional and psychological closeness, rather than touch. Their connection is more about the soul than the body, though the longing gazes certainly count! 

6. Canon?: ★★★★★ 5/5

*SPOILERS IN THIS WHOLE SECTION*

Cas’s love for Dean is explicitly confirmed, which cements the ship as canon from Cas’s perspective. While Dean doesn’t reciprocate in words, his emotional reaction and devastation suggest strong feelings of reciprocation. Dean’s side remains just slightly ambiguous onscreen (us shippers see it plain AS DAY especially with all the parallels to them being an epic romance!), and Misha Collins (Castiel) was quick to confirm that:

"Dean was always too shocked in the moment to respond." ~Misha Collins

While the show stops just short of fully embracing the romance, the confession is a pivotal, iconic moment. The confession remains one of the most iconic moments in the show.

Final Rankings:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★  

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Obsession & Codependence: 4/5 ★★★★☆ 

Sacrifices: 4/5 ★★★★☆ 

Touchy-Feely Levels: 3.5/5 ★★★☆☆ 

Canon? 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total: 4.41 stars out of 5

5. Anime: Banana Fish: Asheiji (Ash & Eiji)

Pros:

Themes of Healing and Redemption

Tons of Emotional Intimacy

Obsession/Codependence

Many Sacrifices

Loads of Chemistry

Cons:

Lack of Explicit Physical Canonization: While the emotional bond is undeniable, the relationship is never physically explicit in the traditional sense. For fans looking for more open romance or physical intimacy between characters, the lack of canonized romantic development might feel unsatisfying.

Ratings:

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★☆☆ 3.5/5 stars

They have notable moments of physical closeness, such as tender/supportive hugs and the kiss that totally took Eiji by surprise (to pass a secret note to him), when Eiji helps get Ash into the shower, and they occasionally touch lightly, but it's not the primary focus of their relationship. Their bond is more about emotional connection and shared experiences.

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Extremely high levels of emotional intimacy. Their relationship is built on deep emotional support and understanding, making it a core aspect of their connection. Ash and Eiji share a profound emotional bond that transcends traditional definitions of friendship or romance. Eiji represents a source of light and peace in Ash’s dark, violent world, while Ash becomes Eiji’s protector and emotional anchor. This deep emotional intimacy is one of the most compelling aspects of their relationship. Ash allows himself to be vulnerable around Eiji in ways that he does with no one else. Eiji becomes the only person Ash trusts entirely. Eiji feels safe with Ash, even when surrounded by danger, showing how much faith he has in Ash's abilities and care. Eiji symbolizes hope and healing for Ash, offering him a chance to escape his tragic life. Their relationship serves as a narrative of redemption, as Ash, who is accustomed to violence and manipulation, finds unconditional love and acceptance in Eiji. Their love, while not super explicit, is often interpreted as deeply romantic by fans due to the intense emotions they share. Their relationship transcends labels, making it a beautiful representation of love in its purest form—one that defies societal conventions. Their emotional connection is profound. Ash and Eiji share a deep bond characterized by mutual support, understanding, and a strong emotional connection. Their intimacy is central to their relationship.

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Asheiji involves strong codependence with significant emotional impact. Their connection is deeply entwined, and they are both obsessed with each other to the extreme. All Ash can think about is Eiji, which leads to enormous consequences. Eiji for his part, loves Ash and obsesses over him endlessly. They demonstrate a significant level of codependence. Ash and Eiji are deeply intertwined in each other's lives, and their relationship profoundly affects their actions and decisions.

Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

They make notable sacrifices for each other, showing dedication and commitment. Their sacrifices are substantial. Ash was willing to send Eiji away for his own safety despite Eiji being the only light in his life, but Eiji didn’t go, risking his life by choosing to stay. They’ve both put their lives directly in danger for the other. Both characters make considerable sacrifices for each other. Ash’s actions are often influenced by his desire to protect and be with Eiji, while Eiji shows remarkable dedication and commitment, despite the dangerous circumstances. Eiji takes care of Ash when he’s unwell or hurt. At one point, Ash tried to shoot himself dead to protect Eiji but unbeknownst to him, there were no bullets in the gun. Eiji jumped in front of a bullet for Ash once, landing him in the hospital. Ash’s fierce protectiveness over Eiji is a central element of the ship. This dynamic creates powerful, emotional moments throughout Banana Fish, where Ash goes to extreme lengths to ensure Eiji’s safety, showcasing the true depth of his feelings.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars Their chemistry is compelling, with a blend of tenderness and intensity that defines their relationship. They are magnetic, built on emotional vulnerability, trust, and a shared experience that pulls them together in powerful, often understated ways. Their chemistry is notable, with a mix of emotional depth and connection that drives the narrative. Their interactions are charged with both tenderness and intensity.

How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Their relationship is confirmed as canon by the creator, making it a deeply acknowledged romantic connection. It was heavy subtext in the anime, but in the manga Garden of Light, it became explicit. While not explicitly sexual, it is recognized as a deep, romantic soulmate connection.

In the manga, Sing Soo-Ling (creator) states in the short story “Garden of Light” that they truly loved each other and were soulmates.

Final summary:

Touchy-Feely Levels: 3.5/5 ★★★☆☆ 

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Obsession/Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★  

How Canon?: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total:  4.75 out of 5 stars

6. Merthur (Merlin & Arthur Pendragon) 

Pros:

Extremely Touchy-Feely

Sacrifices 

Chemistry

Obsession & Codependence

“I think it’s a love story, it absolutely is a love story.”  ~Julian Murphy (creator)

Cons:

It quietly went canon, with no obvious love declaration or successful kiss onscreen.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars The chemistry between Merlin and Arthur is undeniable and electric, with an unspoken bond that far surpasses all other relationships, including their other romantic ones. Their banter, loyalty, and constant presence in each other’s lives create a compelling and often flirtatious dynamic. Arthur lights up around Merlin in a way he never does with anyone else, including his wife, Gwen. The high school AU vibes are real—they bicker, laugh, have a deep emotional connection, and have an undeniable pull towards each other. The tension between them, combined with their loyalty and the way they light up around each other, creates an undeniable spark that draws viewers in. Their palpable tension makes their relationship feel very much like a secret castle romance, which is what it basically was as confirmed in the commentary. Their unspoken understanding and constant presence in each other’s lives create a chemistry that’s magnetic and endearing. Unspoken yet undeniable. Well, others speak of their bond, just not them most of the time (though in their intimate moments, they do, too!) Like Princess Mithian once commented saying to Merlin, "Arthur values your opinion above almost all others."

And after seeing them together for only a few days, Merlin's mother says:

The great dragon Kilgharrah has always said that they're two sides of the same coin, and that they make each other whole. So it's confirmed that they're soulmates, literally half of each other. Their bond is one of loyalty, humor, and an endless, deep connection. They are like a cutesy/angsty high school AU of secret gay boyfriends. The whole castle is aware of Merlin’s ‘other woman’ status and they treat him as such. 

2. Emotional Intimacy:  ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Merlin and Arthur’s relationship is defined by an unbreakable bond that transcends friendship, with deep emotional intimacy, playful chemistry, and mutual reliance. They constantly bicker, but their loyalty to each other is unwavering, with Merlin secretly sacrificing everything to protect Arthur, while Arthur depends on Merlin for emotional support and guidance, often treating him as more than just a manservant. However, the secret of Merlin’s magic creates a subtle yet significant barrier in their relationship. While Merlin sacrifices everything for Arthur, he can never fully trust him with the truth about his identity. This adds complexity to their bond, highlighting how the political climate of Camelot and Merlin’s fear of rejection prevents their relationship from reaching its fullest potential of emotional honesty. Merlin’s secrecy prevents the relationship from being entirely transparent, meaning Arthur doesn't fully know who Merlin is. While Merlin harbors this secret, Arthur bares his entire soul to Merlin, his best friend, and tells him everything. He trusts Merlin with his life, and Merlin trusts him (aside from the magic part). This limitation keeps them from achieving the ultimate level of emotional closeness, despite their otherwise strong connection. From lingering gazes (SO MUCH EYESEX--there's 23 minutes of eyesex in a 65 episode show), and shared vulnerabilities (Merlin does share his vulnerabilities with Arthur, just not the magic), their connection feels deeply personal. They are each other's #1 best friend. These moments go far beyond any other relationship either has in the show, creating a profound, unspoken closeness that is intimate in both the emotional and physical sense. Arthur tells Merlin everything, unlike with his sweet wife Gwen. He is able to truly be himself around Merlin. For Arthur, due to the way he was raised, everything has an order. With Gwen, he is always super formal/polite. Basically, she is not his friend. He has put her squarely in the "wife" category. Merlin is supposed to be put in "servant" category but Merlin becomes his actual dearest best friend, a category none of his knights touch, since his knights are put in "knights" category. He expects his knights to die for him, he expects Gwen to always be supportive & loving. He expected Merlin to listen to him and respect him, but Merlin is, as Arthur puts it, "Well, you've been terrible. I mean it. Worst servant I've ever had." Even being such a terrible servant, Arthur refuses to fire him, even upset when Merlin goes missing so they find an actual GOOD & perfect servant, George (who hilariously even dresses up as Merlin).

So as Merlin keeps from Arthur the most vital thing about himself, Arthur confides in him more than anyone else, showing trust and vulnerability that he doesn't share even with his wife. He calls Merlin his friend. For context of how special this is, he doesn't even consider his knights his friends.. Even in season 4 finale (14 episodes from the series finale) he told Merlin that Merlin was still his "only friend." The physical comfort and emotional intensity between them, along with creator and cast commentary referring to their relationship as a love story, suggest that their bond is romantic in nature, even if it was never fully confirmed on-screen. Even though for most of the show, Merlin keeps such a vital part of himself from Arthur, since in the end, he did reveal himself (& I'm rating based off of how the relationship left off), these two get a full 5 stars.

3. Obsession & Codependence:  ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Merlin and Arthur are inseparable, spending almost every moment together. Arthur relies on Merlin for everything, from making major decisions to simply getting dressed in the mornings (I truly wonder how he did this before Merlin. One time when Merlin was gone, Arthur had to ask the Court Physician for help with putting on a shirt & he ended up getting stuck in it, then ripped the shirt......... -______-;). As his wife Gwen was helping him with his armor, Arthur said, sounding very frustrated and like a petulant toddler, "I want Merlin back. Where is he?" ;u; Merlin feels the need to follow Arthur everywhere, even while gravely injured. Merlin was still begging not to be taken back home despite barely being able to speak, but thankfully after Lancelot took Merlin and the two made their way back, Merlin was able to heal himself midway. Then he and Lancelot caught up with Arthur and the other knights again!

Arthur relies on Merlin more than any other person, often over his more experienced knights or even his wife. Their bond is so strong it becomes unhealthy. Their trust and devotion to one another are undeniable. Arthur’s dependence is extreme. Arthur literally takes Merlin on his dates with him and Gwen and even had Merlin hide behind curtains for when he proposed to Gwen. -______-; This is NOT NORMAL. That song "Me you and Steve" is literally THEM (and comments all agreed that animatic is basically the show in a nutshell--it even uses actual show scenes)! Poor Gwen. ;u; Arthur couldn't remember the anniversary of his wedding even though Merlin reminded him the day before, and also, regarding his courting of Gwen:

"He sends Merlin to gather flowers for her, to prepare the date for them, etc. It's not genuine, and this is a boring and chemistry-less relationship. I especially laughed when there was a plot of Gwen being basically replaced by an evil twin. Merlin noticed it almost right away while Arthur didn't, even though they spent weeks together, sharing a bed, having conversations, and so on. He didn't realize the love of his life was replaced!" ~K_S_Morgan

The fact that Arthur instantly knows when Merlin is upset but doesn't notice that his wife hates him for weeks.... He noticed and counted how many days since Merlin smiled! This King has priorities I guess…. LMAO! It shows he's not super oblivious, he just pays attention to things he cares about..... Whenever Merlin is more withdrawn, Arthur always notices and tries to cheer him up. He clearly wouldn't notice if it was Gwen.

You know who would have most definitely noticed 100%? Lancelot!!! Lancelot loved Gwen like Arthur could never. *now I'm trying to not cry* Lancelot and Gwen were soulmates in the same way Merlin and Arthur were. Lancelot would've put her first in all things he did. He was loyal to Arthur because of Merlin, so he would've most definitely put her above ALL else if they'd been allowed to be together. But the show forced her character to stay with Arthur, a gay man, simply because that's the way it was in the legends. Otherwise, the showrunners put zero effort into making their love story believable. It was obvious the aim of the show wasn’t Arthur/Gwen, but Merthur. They said it themselves. They showed a bit of Gwen/Arthur because it is an important part of the legend, but otherwise, that was it. No effort otherwise. Such a disservice to their characters.

Once, when Arthur was on a nice romantic picnic date with Gwen, he told her that he always wanted to run far away from Camelot....... and then he said, "Of course, I'd take Merlin with me." WHAT THE ACTUAL FLUCK. He never once implies she would go with him. Who says this to their date? ???? ??????????? Its just common courtesy to say at least your date can go too lool. but he was not having it XD Once she's queen, all the courting is out (because he was doing such a stellar job at that lol). He settles into the boring married couple routine, and season 5 is also when all gay breaks loose. (He and Gwen got married in the last episode of season 4.)

Arthur and Merlin’s obsession with each other is off the charts. Arthur listens to Merlin more than anyone else. Merlin stopped Arthur from marrying Princess Elena after Gwen, who Arthur was in the talking stage with at the time, tried unsuccessfully to stop it. Literally one word from Merlin was all it took for Arthur to stand the princess up at the alter. 😐 Arthur’s reliance on Merlin is intense, and they clearly cannot bear to be apart. This is Sam/Dean Winchester-on-steriods codependence. Their bond is a constant force in the show, making it central to the plot and their lives.

They are utterly devoted to one another, and Arthur trusts Merlin more than anyone else. These two spent BY FAR the most time together of all mentioned ships. They could not live w/o each other, codependent to extremely unhealthy levels. They had to spend practically every moment together good grief. Very angry/upset when apart for even just a day. Especially Arthur. Arthur is always shouting at Merlin to be next to him when he notices Merlin has lagged behind, even when they're in the castle, and Merlin would roll his eyes but have the biggest most dopey grin and run after him. They are always at each other's sides, even on epic quests that require Arthur to go  "alone and unaided." Merlin is like an extension of himself, ofc Merlin would go! LOL. If I could, I'd give them 10 out of 5 stars for obsession tbh.

*SPOILERS FOR THE END* Arthur literally cannot function without Merlin. His obsession with Merlin's presence, combined with Merlin’s unwavering loyalty, creates an intensely close and often codependent dynamic. In many ways, Merlin needs Arthur too, and without Arthur, Merlin just wanders until he's able to be with Arthur again, no matter how many hundreds or thousands of years pass. Merlin will wander around that same lake where he put Arthur to rest. ;~; If that's not codependent, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! Not to mention, in that lake/Avalon, Arthur is just waiting for Merlin to need him again so that he can come back to life. CODEPENDENT TO A TEE! Merlin is 100% dependent on Arthur to feel whole again, because canonically, they are two halves of the same coin.

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Both Merlin and Arthur make profound sacrifices for each other that go beyond typical devotion. Merlin sacrifices everything—his entire life’s purpose, dreams, chance at a normal life, his humanity—all for Arthur, consistently putting Arthur’s safety above his own happiness, goals, and desires to end the ban on magic (lifting the ban was supposed to be more important than Arthur, his ultimate goal of the series was to lift the ban in order to unite all of Albion, but Merlin never got the memo). Merlin sacrifices his emotional well-being by living in secrecy even though it causes him personal pain.

Arthur, in return, sacrifices his pride, royal expectations, a sense of propriety, and adherence to social norms by elevating Merlin to a position of trust and power that goes far beyond what is appropriate in the class-strict society they live in. Arthur often treats Merlin as his equal and his life partner despite the massive class divide. The level of trust and emotional vulnerability Arthur shows toward Merlin is profound, especially in trusting him with decisions that even his knights and advisors don’t influence, showing how much he is willing to sacrifice for their bond. Arthur was willing to sacrifice everything his father had warned him about magic and lift the ban, if only Merlin had agreed (naturally he asked Merlin for his opinion on such a serious topic)! But unfortunately, since Merlin thought doing so would cost Arthur his life, Merlin with great sadness, said that all magic was evil. 

Arthur’s vulnerability and complete trust in Merlin challenged everything he was raised to believe, and Merlin consistently chose Arthur over his own needs. This was the ultimate demonstration of mutual sacrifice.

One time Arthur was forced to order Merlin back to Camelot bc Merlin couldn't even walk due to his injuries. Arthur was not happy about having to send him away and seemed pretty distraught, eyes red-rimmed and tearful. Arthur almost abandoned the quest, even though one of his knights reminded him that if they abandoned the quest, hundreds more would perish. If not for Lancelot offering to take Merlin back, Arthur would have abandoned the quest, sacrificing hundreds of his people's lives, all for Merlin! When Arthur finds out the truth about Merlin’s magic, he wasn’t angry about the illegal magic, he was only hurt that Merlin felt he couldn’t trust him. Despite the imbalance in the scale of sacrifices, both characters show an overwhelming willingness to give up significant parts of themselves for the sake of the other (if Arthur had known about the magic sooner, he would’ve been able to do his part in sacrificing more for Merlin). Merlin constantly sacrifices everything for Arthur. Arthur sacrifices his royal status by treating Merlin as a trusted confidant/"husband"/"other woman", so much so that his actual wife becomes more like the mother he never had (he gives her chaste kisses, doesn't let her truly in like he does Merlin. At one point she casually says, "Arthur never tells me anything.”) Merlin, a mere servant, starts ordering the knights around as early as season 2, something that only the ‘other woman’ would ever be able to do! This swapping of roles challenges social norms and his strict upbringing, where his father drills it into his head that royalty cannot consort with those of lower rank. This bond often puts Arthur in vulnerable positions where he places Merlin’s advice above that of his much more experienced knights and advisors, despite the fact that Arthur is always calling Merlin an idiot. If idiot, why listen to all major decisions? Arthur is clearly smitten. 

*SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT IN THIS SECTION*

The final sacrifices they both make: Merlin waits over a thousand years, five hundred for Arthur to rise again for him, since after 1500+ years, Merlin's the last remaining piece of Albion. And Arthur is in Avalon, waiting for the day Merlin will finally need him again. 😭 (In the show, they have ghosts, & Merlin put Arthur’s body in the lake with Freya, whom Merlin was still able to talk to now and then.)

5. Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

There’s a clear sense of physical comfort between the two that you don’t even see in Arthur’s canonical romantic relationships. The contrast between Arthur's comfort with Merlin versus his awkwardness around his wife Gwen suggests that Merlin and Arthur share a deeper physical comfort level.

Merlin and Arthur's "touchy-feely" levels are high, with frequent touches--from regularly bathing Arthur to falling asleep next to him, moments of deep physical proximity, like humping each other while making highly suggestive noises then falling asleep curled up together in that net, constant touching through roughhousing, close physical proximity, and they even held hands a total of six times (in 1 scene, it was 4 times in one setting as they were fleeing). Even though they only hug once (Merlin: "Hugging is… for amateurs?" Lmao. Versus what else they do, yes, yes, *Arthur cracks his knuckles* Arthur: "Hugging very much is for amateurs!"), with constant physical contact reinforcing their emotional connection, their touchy-feely levels are some of the highest (all they need to do now is copulate tbh 🥴 which they will guarantee do once Arthur is out of Avalon and back with Merlin!)

Here they humped each other to sleep (the close-up shots were super sexual too, but I wanted to post this panned-out view so yall can see what they were really doing):

^Merlin needed to get some keys so he decided the best way was to pull Arthur's pants down. LOL. The fandom collectively agrees he didn't really need to lick his lips, pull Arthur's pants down, and wrestle him in front of the council to get them........

Merlin also bathes Arthur regularly. We have zero canon proof other than assumptions that his wife's ever even seen him naked... Cue the scene where he walks out naked expecting Merlin but sees Gwen, his actual fiance, and the first thing he says is (notice he's covering himself with a pillow presumably because she's never seen him unclothed):

And then afterward, he basically runs away. He isn't a teenager but a grown ass man. Gwen is supposedly his "one true love." Make it make sense. He used to always sleep shirtless but once he married her, he only slept with his shirt on…… How.. strange. It’s really no wonder Gwen never got pregnant in all the four years they were together. There's a random rumor that she was infertile, but I've watched the show multiple times and never is this supposed "infertility" mentioned (if it was, I'd know). I think they simply were not sleeping together due to the king being a flaming homosexual for his manservant. (literally who is surprised?) Merlin & Arthur only hug once throughout the series, but the other things they do more than makeup for their lack of hugs. Oh, & Arthur is absolutely fixated on Merlin's butt and Merlin is fixated on Arthur's crotch.... (I have pages of tags just of all the times these two were fixated on one another's butts & crotches..) These two have serious issues and need to just fuck it out already.

and it's like, "Merlin, my eyes are up here" (but why such a bulge???)

^Pantless Arthur's like, 'Stop checking out my cock, now lemme see dat ass. ;)' Sometimes I can't believe this is a real show.

6. How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

*SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION*

The romantic subtext is undeniable and supported by cast and creator commentary confirming the love story. In the very last episode, Arthur mouthed 'I love you' along with the two almost-kisses (first time they were staring at each other's lips & the show's default romantic theme song was playing in the background--music choices are always intentional; second time Arthur was dying & he tried tugging Merlin's face in, but he died mid-kiss).

^they were staring at each other's lips and the show's default romance theme song was playing.. This was also the final episode, & afterward, the showrunners confirmed they were a love story.

Julian Murphy, one of the creators, openly refers to the relationship as a “love story between two men,” to which Katie McGrath (Morgana) responded, “You maybe just confirmed what a lot of people [shippers] thought.”

Alexander Vlahos (Mordred) referred to their love as a "brilliant love story" and an official ad for the DVD boxed set said, "There's much to recommend about this mythical hokum, but it's the droll, sweet love story between Arthur and Merlin that compels in the BBC's excellent fantasy series." Droll means 'funny' so it was essentially calling the show a romcom between Merlin & Arthur. 😂 Which perfectly describes it, actually!

Summary:

Chemistry: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Emotional Intimacy:  ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Obsession & Codependence:  ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Sacrifices: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) How Canon?: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars)

Total: 5 out of 5 stars

7. Scorbus (Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Potter)

Based on the new script developments:

Pros:

Deep Emotional Bond

Mutual Dependence

Intimate Moments

Affectionate Banter and Chemistry

Queer-Coded Subtext

“One of the most notable changes is the shift in the relationship between Scorpius and Albus from a close friendship to a romantic one, making 'Scorbus' canon. John Tiffany, the director of the play, has been involved in these updates…”

Cons:

Not Fully Canonized:

While the emotional bond between Scorpius and Albus is incredibly strong, it is never explicitly confirmed as romantic in the play itself. This can be frustrating for fans who wish for a more overt romantic resolution or confession, especially given the chemistry between them.

Albus’s Emotional Immaturity:

Albus is a more emotionally volatile character compared to Scorpius. He can sometimes be reckless, brooding, and push away those closest to him, including Scorpius. This emotional immaturity occasionally creates tension between them and could be seen as a barrier to a healthy romantic relationship.

Viewings inconsistent:

The play can change depending on the night or how the actors feel a certain day. Because of this, you never know what could happen on any given day, which means that the Scorbus might be amazing (like an almost-kiss) or it may be more toned down and not include that.

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★☆ 4 of 5 stars

The way they prioritize each other gives strong undertones of romantic affection. They share moments of physical closeness, such as hugging, forehead touches, very occasional hand-holding, and other comforting touches, that emphasize their romantic friendship and emotional bond.  In some viewings, Albus is seen to almost kiss Scorpius but Scorpius is always oblivious to this and moves away!

2. Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

They are extremely close and are each other’s #1. They comfort each other during difficult times and tell each other everything. They share everything, providing each other with comfort and support. Their deep emotional bond is a key component of their relationship. Their bond is characterized by deep emotional intimacy and affection, which are key elements of a romantic friendship. They provide each other with significant emotional support throughout the play.  Scorpius and Albus continue to share a very deep emotional connection. They are each other's confidants, supporting one another through personal struggles—Albus' difficult relationship with Harry and Scorpius' grief over his mother and the rumors surrounding his lineage. Albus' refusal to abandon Scorpius in times of crisis continue to be strong indicators of their connection.

3. Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars Their bond is intense and inseparable with significant emotional dependency. They exhibit classic signs of codependency, feeling deeply affected by any separation. They are consistently the most important person in one another’s lives. Their bond is intense, much like classic codependent ships. They both cry when they’re no longer allowed to be close, despite being 14 years old (too old for this kind of behavior, honestly. I mean, can you see Ron and Harry behaving like this during their 4th year..? Because quite frankly, I can’t.) They share an emotional bond, which is an essential part of their journey. They rely on each other for emotional support, making their friendship the most important relationship in the play. Their relationship is a bit codependent, especially since Albus tends to rely heavily on Scorpius for emotional support. Their closeness is endearing, heavily relying on each other for validation and comfort.

Actual line from play:

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★☆ 4 of 5 stars They are willing to make significant sacrifices for each other’s well-being, including risking their safety and affecting each other's lives through time-traveling adventures. Scorpius sacrifices a lot more for Albus though. He allows Albus to rant about his dad, all the while, he’d just lost his mother. Scorpius follows Albus blindly into immense danger because he loves him so much. Albus sacrifices a good relationship with his father to keep seeing Scorpius. Ultimately, they’re both willing to risk everything for each other, but because Scorpius sacrifices quite a bit more, they get 4 stars.

5. Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars Their chemistry is undeniable with a lot of emotional depth and moments of longing and vulnerability. Sparks fly at every sweet interaction between the two completely fluffy boys. The tension is less physical and more about their shared experiences and emotional vulnerability with each other. Their banter, affection, and overall chemistry carry through. Their interactions are filled with humor and warmth, which gives their relationship a unique charm compared to others in the series.

6. How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

Their feelings are confirmed by the playwrights and the script changes suggest romantic implications, including how Albus even comes out to his dad in the end confirming his love for Scorpius. The playwrights have said that the only reason they're not in a relationship is due to their ages (the characters are in 4th year whilst most romance in Harry Potter happens in 6th year). The playwright has stated that the queerness is very real. This is a queer high school love story in its early stages. ❤️ It's heavily implied that they oh-so-obviously got married (because in HP, marrying one's high school sweetheart is the norm) & therefore (& I'm sure they will just be thrilled!) Harry and Draco will be related through marriage at last (though not exactly in the way I want). 🫨

Overall Summary: 

Physical Intimacy: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Sacrifices: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Chemistry: ★★★★★ (5/5)

How Canon?: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Total: 4.66 / 5 stars

FINAL WINNERS (decided ties based on how on-screen the canon material was + how much trauma was endured):

WINNER: 

🥇 Merthur Takes the Crown! 👑✨🎉

(Arthur Pendragon x Merlin - Merlin)

🏆🎉 All Hail the Kings of Gaydom! 🎉🏆

^Just fuckin kiss already dear gods.

In an epic showdown of ships, where love transcends timelines, magic, and destiny itself, Merthur has claimed the crown as the Gayest Ship in our tournament! 🌈💖

Ok, so this is my OTP, but I really was being partial!!

This ship truly has the full package:

Devotion spanning thousands of years. (The only ship of the list this canonically applies to.)

Humor (the show was labeled a "romcom between Merlin & Arthur" by that aforementioned ad).

Playfulness (lots of boyish roughhousing because Arthur's a jock who likes to mess with his dorky nerdy boyfriend who was 16 in the pilot episode--these two were young!)

Never-ending loyalty

Life/death sacrifices

MOST OBSESSIVE SHIP!!!! (like, way more than Wincest, which is saying something. 👀)

MOST SEXUAL SCENES. 💦 This ship is most definitely the ship with the most sexual/touchy-feely scenes (which is why I have so many gifs of them doing sexual stuff.... I can't find those gifs for the other ships except Hannigram maybe?), which always ups their chemistry. ;)

Tears. So many tears. From us, from them. This is such a tearful and powerfully poignant ship of epic proportions.

Makes you feel good because they are SO FUN together! Their dynamic is extremely entertaining to watch.

From birth—Arthur and Merlin were destined to be soulmates. Whether it's Merlin saving Arthur's life (for the hundredth time!) or Arthur secretly cherishing every snarky comment and stolen glance, their bond is the definition of legendary. Their love, though unspoken in so many ways, has always been undeniable to us and the rest of the castle (knights and all--EVERYONE noticed, even visiting royals). We all saw through every swordfight and sassy banter to the truest love story of the series. ✨

This win celebrates their journey from servant and prince to something so much deeper. Through battles, quests, betrayals, and everything Camelot threw at them, they always prioritized each other, proving that magic isn’t the only powerful force—it’s love. 💫

Congratulations to Merthur for showing us that destiny was never just about a kingdom—it was about the undeniable connection between two hearts. Let the celebrations in Camelot begin!

Long live the once and future kings of gay ships! 👑🌈

Runner Up: 

🥈💀 Hannigram: Dark, Delicious, and Dangerously Close to Victory!

(Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham – Hannibal)

🔪✨ They love each other... to death. ✨🔪

They say love is a dangerous game, and no one plays it quite like Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham. In our tournament of ships, the twisted, tantalizing bond of Hannigram slashed its way to a close second, proving once again that darkness and desire make one hell of a pairing! 🌹🔪

From mind games to dinner dates (where the menu is… questionable 🍽️👀), the chemistry between these two transcends morality, sanity, and the human heart. It's a dance of obsession, control, and unrelenting affection—one that left us all on the edge of our seats, breathless and horrified in equal measure.

While their love may be unconventional, what could be more intoxicating than two minds so perfectly, terrifyingly in sync? It’s a relationship where murder, manipulation, and unspoken devotion go hand in hand—and we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🖤

Hats off to Hannigram for being the ultimate runner-up, and for reminding us that love can be as beautiful as it is monstrous. This ship may not have taken the crown, but it has our hearts in its deadly grasp forever. 💀💕

Cheers to the killer chemistry of Hannigram! 🥂

Bronze:

🥉 Asheiji: A Tender and Timeless Love

(Ash Lynx x Eiji Okumura – Banana Fish) 🍌✨ Asheiji takes the spotlight! ✨🍌

Bronze goes to Ash Lynx and Eiji Okumura, who remind us that love can be both gentle and profound. Asheiji shares a bond that transcends words—it's a love that knows absolutely no limits. From their subtle touches to the emotional vulnerability they share, Ash and Eiji's relationship radiates a pure, heartfelt beauty. Their connection is super wholesome, filled with longing, mutual trust, and an unspoken love that breaks barriers and leaves a lasting impact. Their love is eternal, and the legacy of their ship lives on in our hearts. 🌸💫🌈 

the rest of the gays:

4th place: Renga (my newest ship!)

5th place: Scorbus (fluffiest!)

6th place: Destiel (1st ever slash ship!)

7th place: Drarry (2nd fave OTP in last place 😭 Aw well, their soulmate love is real/true in their world at least)

Final Ranking:

Renga (4.75 stars) – Deeply emotional and supportive where mutual admiration and personal growth define their close, semi-canon bond.

Book!Drarry (4.08 stars) – The ultimate “could-have-been” with palpable tension.

Hannigram (4.91 stars) – The ultimate psychological obsession.

Destiel (4.41 stars) – Finally canon but with some loose ends.

Asheiji (4.75 stars) – Profound, romantic connection marked by intense devotion and soul-deep love.

👑 Merthur (5 stars) – The devotion and unspoken romance are too deep to ignore. 🥳🎉

Scorbus (4.66 stars) – Emotionally intense, codependent relationship with strong romantic undertones.

Phew! That took almost a whole week. O-O Thanks for reading! =D I’d like to always update this list, so if you have any points to add, DM me & I'll see about incorporating it in! I recently updated this to where I rank based off of where the relationship left off in canon!

[smoozie]

Secret Life Roomates AU?

-🌌

OH I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!

Something about the alliances this season just felt right. The mounders are the main inspiration for the au tbh, I absolutely ADORED them! The roomies as well! I couldn't get the idea of them as actual roommates out of my head, thus the au spawned.

All secret life alliances are roommates! That's kinda the whole premise, but there are some important footnotes.

First of all, I put Scar and Lizzie together. Yes they both technically were loners all season, but their interactions KILL me! No one gets them like I do okay. They both think the other is the weird one and they are one-sided frenemies.

The mounders live in a house. Like they all bought a house together. Everyone else has apartments, the mounders get a house. They said "mounders for life" and decided they would all buy a house together. I can't decide if they decided they were mounders because of the mound in their yard or if they bought the house because there was a mound in their yard.

Also my prologue to the au is basically that Etho and Cleo found Grian in Distressing Situation and just. Took him home with them. Now he lives with them. The only people he knows are Evo. Basically, Grian just randomly disappeared as a teenager and no one knew exactly what happened to him. Then Etho and Cleo take him home and now he is reunited with his old friends!

Lizzie and Jimmy are siblings, I adore my seablings. And my skyblings, Grian and Pearl are also siblings. I am physically incapable of writing anything that does not have a set of traumatically torn apart siblings in it. I am tempted to just make all of them siblings (I like Grian as siblings with Lizzie and Jimmy too!), but we'll see.

I have very specific scenes in mind for Grian meeting Bdubs and Scar. And a lose idea for his Pearl reunion. I am a lover of shenanigans.

I am also obsessed with a few dynamics that I really want to be a focus, but I'm still figuring out how to incorporate the relationship I want some characters to have. Like obviously I can't have Gem and Pearl be former allies who killed all their friends together and then were so strong to their home alliances they were forced to fight against each other in the final battle, pleading for the other to defect and join their side. Cuz this is Real Life. So uh, I need to figure out how to make That Bond happen, without the murder.

But that is an overview of my au. It is still in the works and I am SO EXCITED

[theemptyartdeco]

Twin Tides (Nate Jacobs)

Summary:

Kaitlyn Arundel, a former prep school princess from New York City, was a pawn in her parents' war of a divorce, had a fire in her that was concealed by a facade of naivety and perfection.

Nate Jacobs is the king of the monsters that once haunted him, a master of control born from his own nightmares.

When their worlds collide, lines blur and reflections emerge, hinting that perhaps, they're not as different as they seem.

Materlist

Chapter 2 Calmness amidst the Storm | Kaitlyn

Warning: This chapter contains prejudice, strong pejorative language and internalized misogyny. (Both of them are deeply flawed characters, read at your own discretion.)

Kaitlyn Arundel belonged to everywhere but nowhere.

To the glamorous New York, to the exotic Beijing, to melancholic Vancouver, Kaitlyn came, breathed and lived. She didn’t mind the habitual change of scenery. Why would she ever? She adored the privilege of flying above the world, rainy wooden scent of the northwestern coast, the foreign and mysterious capital of an ancient civilization and the vibrancy and grandeur of the city where dreams were made of.

But finding herself in a Californian suburban town was something that had almost sent her over the edge of anger and despair.

“Sweet daughter, it doesn’t matter whether you are in New York or anywhere else. Diamond shines everywhere it travels to.”

“Don’t you blame it on me. It’s your father’s fault that I can’t afford your private tuitions and ballet training anymore.”

“I will be sending allowance on your card. Don’t you ever worry. It’s your mother I am punishing, not you.”

“Kaitlyn, I’ve looked into your profile, 4.2 GPA, outstanding volunteering experience. Keep your academic records as it is, you will get into college in no time.”

Getting to a college? Is the man fucking serious? I do not belong to some low life community college. I belong to an Ivy.

“Kaitlyn.”

“Kaitlyn.”

“Ms. Arundel.”

“I’m sorry,” She adjusted her skirt, forcing the anger and tears down her throat by smiling gracefully, “Please go on.”

“As I was saying, I know transferring across half the country in the middle of your senior year may unsettling,” the principal continued, the appreciation in his voice now laced with a hint of impatience, “But I assure you, there is no need to be.”

“Thank you, Principal Hayes,” Kaitlyn nodded, putting a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing the discreetly ostensible round pearl earring, “To hear this from you offers me great relief.”

Relief my ass.

Every step Kaitlyn took toward the AP Calculus classroom, she felt as if she were Cersei Lannister in Games of Thrones, walking down atonement among stinking peasants of King’s Landing.

Some guys with their poorly arranged shirts smirked at her way, their lustful eyes gazing under her black skirt, while a group of girls whose laughter sounded like those horrendous traffic honking in downtown New York bumped the side of her shoulder, misplacing her expensive shirt.

She peeked back at the the group of girls. Fluorescent pants, their full breasts bouncing blatantly in their tops that served to enhance their youthful sexuality.

They would’ve been sent home, she scoffed, with a slight tilt of her brows, if only this was at the Trinity.

She sat herself in the corner of the first row instead of the centre where she wished to be. She liked attention. Especially the type of attention she receives effortlessly simply by dressing, walking and smiling they way she did. But something about placing in front of twenty ish hormonal teenagers unsettled her. Most importantly, the spot offered her opportunity to observe.

The teacher went on and on about the limit of a function, a notion she had leant in junior year, Kaitlyn’s gaze wandered subtly unnoticeably. One girl was the first of her subject of observation. The makeup on her face was smoky and bold, her winged eyeliner almost reached her brows. She, like almost other girl in East Highland High, wore a short tank top revealing her belly button and petite waist. Then, at least, her eyes finally landed on her breasts, again. They were plump, her round skin rubbed against each other and the rough texture of her top. They captured her attention uncontrollably.

She felt the sensation of her tight, black, push-up bra constraining her flesh like a 19th century corset.

But she loved Victorian corsets.

But it burnt, it hurt.

She returned her mind on the paper, but the image of their horrendous laughter and rude demeanour, the way their breasts bouncing freely and shamelessly played again and again.

Just as she breathed soothingly, preparing to drown herself in the world of mathematics once more, her eyes landed on Nate Jacobs.

Wearing a large blue hoodie, it was obvious in his eyes that his mind was filled with calculations beyond the math.

That night at the carnival, he touched her.

He dared to touch her.

“A lot of men would try to het their hands on a beautiful girl like you. You don’t want to find yourself in that kind of situation.”

Was that a threat?

Nate Jacobs was the image of an archetype she disdained: the arrogant jock, stupid and practically illiterate, actions dictated by sex hormones instead of the brain. Yet the way he spoke to her with the calm and charming mask he had worn , even later that night, the threatening way his gaze locked to that his girlfriend and the way he grabbed her for messing his pride…

For the first time in this dreadful school, Kaitlyn was excited. Among the hormonal driven teenagers, there was a wrestler.

An embodiment of physical strength and strategy.

To be frank, Nate Jacobs had occupied a portion of her mind. A disgust boiled in her stomach as Kaitlyn is recalled the unabashedly greedy look the faces of those pathletic and arrogant high school boys, but Nate Jacobs was everything she liked about men.

Kaitlyn Arundel had made a long mental checklist of the things she liked and disliked about men.

She liked white shirts, crisp and clean, but not the ones that hadn’t seen an iron in weeks.

She liked tall boys, but didn't mind the shorter ones as long as their bodies were in shape.

She hated unkempt appearances, but there was nothing on planet Earth she hated more than fat arms and a round belly.

She liked jeans, snug but not too tight.

She liked sweaters.

She liked confidence, but despised misplaced arrogance, the bluster without the backbone.

She never understood boys who wore makeup, felt it hid more than it showed.

It was one of the things she first noticed about Nate. His confidence didn't just show, it roared.

“Mr. Jacobs, please come with us.”

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Principal Hayes’ voice.

“Maddy fainted, and they found bruises on her neck,” a girl whispered to the person next to her.

“And they think that Nate did it!”

Kaitlyn immediately recalled the image of him dragging Maddy furiously away from the booth after she had called his mom the c word.

To Kaitlyn, the idea of Nate leaving those marks on Maddy wasn’t unsettling. If someone had humiliated her that publicly, she might not have drawn blood, but she'd certainly have sought revenge — maybe by obliterating her future.

An hour later.

“Ms. Arundel, do you consider Nate Jacobs to you a violent individual?”

“No, officer. Nate Jacobs is one of the few who had shown me kindness since my transition to a completely new environment. He is an honest, generous and kind person . I truly believe he wouldn’t do such a thing. He's just not that kind of person.”

Author’s note: after writing this chapter, I realized that her pov, perhaps, is more and disturbing and Nate pov chapters. Even I, the author, got a little disturbed while writing. I know there aren’t as much dramas in the these first two chapters, but I believe it’s essential to take the time to establish their worldviews and give a glimpse of their internal battles. Like Nate, there is a reason why Kaitlyn is the way she is. Her backstory will be explored. Thank you for reading!

Comment pls pls pls! Your comments mean everything to me!

Tag list: @dani-is-a-princess @wabi-sabi1090 @tember1

[tennessoui]

Miss Kit as mistress of bikin aus how funny would it be if canon ahsoka tried to change events and ended up in a time period where obikin are adults and she's behind their first meeting only to discover they just immediately are Like That and want to bang. All your aus where they meet as adults and are Like That inspired me but I couldn't help thinking what poor canon ahsoka would make of her master and grandmaster being such openly horny messes around each other

ok lol BUT what if it’s like. Time traveler Ahsoka who like…..has an instant reset button a la Michael in the Good Place, and has gotten it in her head that the galaxy is really better off if Anakin and Obi-Wan never meet because even in the canon timeline and with a wife, anakin was weird about obi-wan & even with a whole Jedi order that he adored, obi-wan was weird about anakin

so it’s really for the best if they never ever even meet and Ahsoka is going to make that happen!! In her first attempt, she decides to save qui-gon so that he raises anakin as his padawan instead but that just makes obi-wan and anakin even WEIRDER about each other for some reason??? Anakin grows up wanting obi-wan’s approval more than anything else in the entire galaxy and obi-wan takes 2 different padawans just so he never has to go on missions with his old master and anakin, and the galaxy STILL falls apart

Reset button, ok. So. Ahsoka buys baby anakin and Shmi from slavery and frees them. Years later, she’s aghast as she watches smuggler Anakin cozy up to promiscuous slut Jedi Master Obi-Wan even though his padawan, a baby Ahsoka, is RIGHT THERE. After one night together in some backwater cantina, they become weird about each other AGAIN. Sidious finds Anakin because Obi-Wan “””reforms””” him and gets him a job in the Senate (so they can more easily carry on their stupid affair) and Sidious convinces Anakin that Obi-Wan could never really love him because he loves the Jedi Order too much….Anakin Falls, galaxy destroyed—RESET BUTTON

Ok. Ahsoka manipulates it so that Obi-Wan is sent to the Agricorps and not kidnapped and enslaved so he just becomes a farmer instead. Good. Safe. He’s happy or he will be — ok. Oh shit anakin gets sent to the AgriCorps because he’s too angry and untrainable and now he’s meeting Obi-Wan who recognizes himself in this angry teenager and takes him under his wing and shit, now they’re being weird about each other — RESET BUTTON

ok!!!! Ahsoka convinces obi-wan’s parents to not give him to the Jedi Order. Instead, he’s raised as…huh. Prince of Stewjon? Ahsoka didn’t know that but that explains so much about obi-wan’s innate bitchiness and haughty eyebrow movements. Fine, that’s ok. Anakin doesn’t like royalty—no never mind, anakin LOVES royalty how could she forget that anakin married a former queen??? It takes one Jedi mission for padawan anakin to be head over heels for prince obi-wan and then suddenly he’s taking every possible mission to Stewjon he can to convince obi-wan to sleep with him oh NO obi-wan keeps rejecting him but Ahsoka recognizes that fond twinkle in his eyes as being the same way he looked at anakin in the original timeline they’re being WEIRD ABOUT EACH OTHER AGAIN. RESET BUTTON.

ok. Ahsoka KIDNAPS baby anakin to raise by herself in the corner of the galaxy where obi-wan and fate will never find them. baby anakin’s first word is inexplicably “obi”. Ahsoka knows how this is going to go. RESET BUTTON.