#as a birthday present!

[naiamaree]

GOD SATAN NEMU! 4th ISSUE OF BYOE AND NEMU, OUT NOW!!! 68 PAGES OF FAMILY FUN, VERBAL ABUSE, IRONIC INFLATION PORN, BEATINGS WITH A BASEBALL BAT, AND A ONE-WAY TICKET TO HEAVEN!!!

[morganbritton132]

My sister and I have the same birthday and it’s cool because people will be like, “Oh, are you twins?” And I get to say, “No! I ruined a five year old’s birthday.”

[aru-art]

sourdough rolls with homemade lemon curd what the absolute fuck man

[nekoo3001]

Came home a little early

[sleepnoises]

photos of dachas by Fyodor Savintev, published in Dacha: The Soviet Country Cottage (2023)

[catgrandpa]

Gotham has always been weird, so when the groundskeeper at the cemetery noticed the Wayne kid’s plot was disturbed, he just chalked it up to more of the same ol’. Alright, so ‘disturbed’ may be a tad too light of a word, but what’s an empty grave in the grand scheme of Gotham? God knows in a city like this one, they could use all the burial room they could get. He figured he’d just jot it down on the website and hope nobody noticed for a while.

Too bad he didn’t account for the 13 year old boy in Bristol who periodically checks the cemetery’s website when he’s feeling particularly lonely.

Plot Removed.

Tim Drake stared at the two words under the heading for Jason Todd’s plot number. Removed? What do they mean ‘removed’? They can’t just remove a plot? That’s a person down there! That’s Robin down there! You can’t Remove Robin!

Calm down. Deep breaths. Assess the situation.

Robin has been dead for 5 months and 14 days. There is no reason for a grave to be removed that early, especially one of a member of such an affluential family. Chances are likely it’s a simple clerical issue. He can call first thing in the morning and make them aware of the mistake. He can have it all fixed in 5 hours.

Just a phone call.

In 5 hours.

…

Tim hates talking on the phone almost as much as he hates waiting.

Well it won’t be the first time he’s snuck out to head to Gotham proper at 1am. It can’t even really be considered sneaking out if there’s no one home to catch you.

Buses stop running at 2, so he layers a couple sweaters under his coat and grabs his best running sneakers so he can comfortably make the trek back.

Just a quick trip to settle his nerves. Maybe get a few shots in if he spots Batman, but really he just wants to see with his own two eyes that things are okay and Jason can rest.

It’s 1:37 by the time he gets to the headstone reading ‘Here Lies Jason Todd’ and the gaping, muddy pit in front of it.

This- This doesn’t make any sense. This is not removal. This is destruction. Desecration. Somebody did this. Somebody-

Assess the situation.

A hole in the ground, approximately 1.5 feet in diameter.

Mud and grass flung outward but with little force.

Large chunks of earth turned over and shoved away.

No signs of tool marks or clean lines of entry into the dirt.

Dragging claw marks.

Staggering, shuffled pairs of foot prints in the mud.

A trail of dirt.

Something… Something large clawed its way out of the ground here. Something large and bipedal and- and humanoid.

Tim refuses to jump to any conclusions he can see all the facts laid in front of him. He’s going to cautiously follow the trail and simply hope to any god listening that he isn’t the world’s first line of defense against the zombie apocalypse.

He’s been walking for 23 minutes and there’s good news and undecided news. Good news: he’s closing in on the target and the trail isn’t taking him out of the way so his trip home won’t be prolonged. Undecided news: The potential Zombie Robin is heading directly for Wayne Manor.

As zombie apocalypse news, this is very bad. From Tim’s collected observational evidence, his not-so-professional opinion is that Batman, faced with a horror movie level zombie of his dead son, would not respond well, and would likely not fight back.

In Batman and Robin news? Tim’s unsure. If Jason is simply back? What could that mean for them? Batman can have his Robin. He wouldn’t have to continue nearly killing others and himself every night in his grief. Jason could-

No. Stop. Do not jump to conclusions.

Hope only brings heartbreak.

What would Batman do? Get close and see if the target is a threat.

Target is male. Mid-teens. Dark hair. Pale skin. Leaning against surfaces as he walks. Appears injured and disoriented.

Minimal risk assessed. Approaching and attempting contact.

Target identity confirmed: Jason Todd.

“J-Jason?” It comes out as a croaked whisper. Jason shows no sign of acknowledgment.

Tim clears his throat, steps right in front of his path, and tries again.

“Jason. Jason, stop I want to help you.” Still nothing.

“Please, Jason. I can help, I promise I can help!”

Why isn’t this working?! Why can’t he just do something right for once?! He wants this to work, he wants to help Bruce, he wants to fix Batman, he wants to not be alone, he wants-

“Robin!”

Robin jerks to a stop.

Tim reached out his hand.

“Robin. Robin please, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s really scary, I’m really scared. But I just want to help you. Help you find Batman. Help you get home.”

Jason just stares at him. Of course he does. Of course it’s not going to work. Why did he even bother hoping he could help?

Hope only brings heartbreak.

His sight blurs as his eyes fill with tears and he starts to lower his outstretched hand.

His arm is slowed as a cold hand weakly grasps his own.

“Don’t… scared… Bat… help… Dad… help.”

A relieved sob tears out from Tim’s chest and he gathers himself together. He yanks his extra sweater off and gently pulls it over Jason’s cold shoulders. Jason lets Tim drag his arm over his shoulders to try and carry some of his weight.

“Okay, Robin. Yeah. Your dad will help us.”

Batman will solve everything once Tim gets Robin home.

[whydoihavetoart]

we can't ibuprofen ourselves out of this one, lads

[bunnyyyuu]

includes: f! reader, aged up! boys, reverse cowgirl (yuuji), cunnilingus (megumi), nipple sucking (toge), porn without plot, probably ooc

ass, tits, or thighs?

ASS — yuuji itadori

you're not surprised by this, everyone knows yuuji loves a good ass. he doesn't care how big it is, it's his favorite thing ever. he's grabbing your butt in almost every hug, smacking it whenever he walks past, using it as a pillow whenever you're laying on your tummy. wear some flare jeans: he's hard. wear a skirt: he’s hard. wear those booty shorts: he’s hard. wear a thong bikini: he’s hard. wear sweats that are way too flattering for what are essentially pajamas: he's hard. he’s reeling in excitement the second you're bent over. if you go to the gym together, he's on the verge of drooling when you're doing squats. he feels like a pervert, but he knows you enjoy it. he’s pulling you onto his lap every chance he's got, taking his lip between his teeth nervously when you wiggle atop his growing boner. reverse cowgirl is this man's shit. his hands on your hips bouncing you up and down effortlessly on his cock and he's just moaning and whining behind you. “so pretty, sweetheart. i love your ass,” he mumbles breathlessly before moving a hand to smack it as he rams up into you.

TITS — toge inumaki

toge has to force himself to not ogle at your boobs. he tries hard (ha! get it?) to not show the way even a sliver of your chest in a low cut shirt has his head spinning. he doesn't even care about the size, he just adores boobies. he's constantly trying to convince you that you shouldn't wear a bra—”it’ll be comfy,” he signs—but he really just wants to see your nipples through your shirt. if you oblige, he's sliding his hand under your tee immediately. poor guy can't decide what he likes more; you on his lap or sitting in yours. on one hand, when you're on top of him, he can watch your tits bounce as you lazily grind against his straining cock in his pants. and, when you're bouncing on said cock, he can let his eyes roll back with your boobs in his face. he could die like that. however, he loves sitting on your lap, legs on either side of your hips, hands digging into your waist. he keeps his purple eyes on your face while he takes one of your nipples between his lips. he alternates every few moments, leaving both your nipples purpled and sensitive. he stays like that for hours, he could probably cum just from sucking on your boobs if he wanted to. again, he could die like that. eventually, he decides he doesn't need a favorite. he just loves your boobs. he really loves your boobs. “show me your tits,” he's whispering in your ear the instant you're alone together, cursed words ringing through your head. you literally can't say no to that.

THIGHS — megumi fushiguro

oh, good lord. megumi is a mess in seconds when you're wearing shorts, or a skirt, or whatever shows off your legs. he’s chewing the inside of his cheek until you're alone together. then, he's on his knees nipping your thighs. he's literally obsessed with your legs to the point that he starts to enjoy summer a bit more, all because can see you. how sweet! a large hand is always on one of your thighs, grasp just firm enough where you're acutely aware of him. he love love loves when he carries your sleepy body with your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands caressing the bottom of your thighs. he also love love loves laying face down in your lap and peppering kisses on your legs while your hands are in his locks. but, he can be so mean sometimes. he’ll throw your legs over his shoulders and ignore your dripping cunt for hours to instead suck and bite marks into your thighs. you won't be wearing shorts for a while after this, not with all those deep purple hickeys. you keep whining and tugging him by the hair towards where you need him, but he just tuts a little and goes back to your legs. after way too much teasing, he finally listens. “okay, okay, ‘m sorry,” he grumbles before swiping his hot tongue over your clit. however, he keeps forcing you to squeeze his head with your thighs. compromise!

[willthespy]

happy unofficial birthday to my son!!! 🎂

wondering what’s in that box…. (genuinely don’t know) (i rushed this) (badly)

[mandatorybear]

The liveliest homeroom at Babyls.

[ruporas]

birthday party (id in alt)

[fckwinnchrstopher]

*Bobby interviewing Eddie for the 118*

Bobby: Alright everything looks fantastic so far, but here's one last thing I have to ask.

Bobby: how's your relationship with your father?

Eddie *extremely confused*: um.. not very good-

Bobby: -you're hired.

[beanghostprincess]

[hooked-on-trout]

i’m not avoiding reqs i just had a dream about this and i had to get it down

[gaybuckybarnesss]

PAUL MESCAL Gladiator II (2024)

[ningauinerd]

you’re not a true dasyuromorph disciple until you have a wild quoll walk up to you and sniff your phone