#as I should've expected xDD

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE FIVE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GUESS WHAT'S PLAYING ON REPEAT IN MY HEAD!!! IT'S "YOU KISSED MY BOYFRIEND?" :'DDDD!!!

I HOPE Y'ALL ARE ENJOYING LAUGHING AT MY PAIN 😭😭😭 no genuinely I hope it helps soften this for you lol

I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine

Anyway 🤪✌️ let's get going :)

CARLOSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔!!!! I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU GUYS BUT NO ONE IS GOING THROUGH IT AS MUCH AS CARLOS EXCEPT MAYBE RICKY

YOU ALL JUST CAN'T MATCH UP

Anyway xD. I honestly felt SO bad for Carlos this episode. But you know what I didn't expect to come out of this storyline xd? The part of his conversation with Miss Jenn where they (the show) talked about the high standards for gay people in society, tied into Carlos's body and self esteem issues. Like?? Hello??? Honestly a slay?? I'm not gonna say it makes this WORTH IT, but still lol.

And, to be totally honest or a moment, the longer it goes on, the more okay I am with this storyline. Obviously I don't like "cheating gay" trope, but with Big Red explaining what happened I'm feeling a bit better about it. And I mean hey - it's angst. And also, it's a TV show, and people (especially tv characters lol) make mistakes. I'm not saying I've forgiven either of them yet lol, but I still love them.

Anyway! Back to my drama lol. Besides that serious stuff though Carlos and Miss Jenn's scene was HILARIOUS lol xD. Also, back on the serious stuff for a moment, I love how she acknowledged that it doesn't just go away, but promised to be there by his side through it :'). Beautiful <3.

Now. We'll be back to Carlos in a moment, because I'm gonna discuss Big Red and Ashlyn first lol.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I WAS S O HOPING HE WOULDN'T SAY IT!!! Our greatest fears came true y'all 😭. Also I gotta say I LOVE that Ashlyn was defending Carlos. But also, since she was, and not really defending herself, I think that was a pretty sure sign that it was over xD. They were great, and now, they've grown up, and changed, and they're different :'). Honestly that scene made me feel better about the whole thing than anything else. It honestly kind of mad me okay with the storyline lol? Like I said, I'm loving the angst, and honestly? I just don't enjoy disliking things. Is this how I wanted it to go down, for any of them? No. But it's what I have :). Anyway, HUAOFWIZMOFKAGSKNL I WAS DYING THROUGHOUT THAT ENTIRE SCENE!!! Y'all the liveblogging of panic that was being sent to my sibling 😭😭 xD.

But AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH ASHLYN COMING OUT!!!! :'DDDD. And finally (it's been one episode lol) an explanation on what happened 😭. Yeah honestly I feel like that's the best possible choice. My mans (as in men) just let the impulsive thoughts win 😌 /hj xDD. Or, the best possible option I guess, lol. Anyway, that honestly was the most beautiful breakup ever :'D. They just. . . genuinely were on the same page :'). Given that Redlyn's the last OG ship left (besides Seblos, but yk, they're B-U-R-N-T lol xD they better be fine though -.-), it does feel a bit bittersweet :'). Mostly bitter lol xd. I just- sighh. It's better this way for both of them, but I will miss them :'/. Ash is right - it really does feel like the end of an era x'd. Ahh, my babeys <3.

Goodbye and Rest in Peace, Redlyn <3. You were wonderful :').

Also at this time I'd like to once again bring up the fact that we were jokingly considering Big Rashlyn as the ship name LOL. Wayyy back in the day xD. Anyway lol.

Oh and also, I like that Big Red actually DID pick up on the Maddox and Ashlyn thing lol :'). Good for him xD. Also, it kinda shows again that he and Ash had changed really early on :( :').

Now, back to Carlos lol xd. Yeah, we're doing this part a bit chronologically since it involves all three of them and the background is important for both sides of it lol (Big Red and Ashlyn as one side because their scene was together lol). STOPPPP Caros wanting the international tea 😭😭💔 honey I'm so sorry but this meeting is about to crash and burn :'(( <33. And then I just- BIG RED!! THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU'VE DONE SO FAR!! WORSE THAN KISSING SEB!!! YOU TOLD CARLOS, NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS PART, BY DOING A DOUBLE THUMB POINT!!!! Okay, maybe it's on equal footing with smiling while you told Ash xD, BUT STILL!!!! Y'all 😭. Seriously I rewatched that part like three times though. Just like, those 30 seconds of them talking. Carlos's HURT is just what gets to me 😭💔. The hurt and heartbreak and anger in his voice just K I L L E D M E!!! I'm not okay 😭😭😭❤️💔. But honestly I loved it lol xd because it was just SO. GOOD!! Also "I'm very fond of you" 😭😭😭😭 STOP. That whole line honestly - like I said, the whole conversation xdd 😭😭💔❤️. I love them so much and this hurts <33.

Also, I could insult Big Red by saying you don't have to worry about the self conscious side of it anymore Carlos, but I will not because that was a joke my brain made that I don't believe anyway xD. I mean, obviously Seb doesn't feel that way, but you know lol.

Anyway!! I am super stressed and not at all ready :')). Especially because the next episode started a little bit before I could pause it (and then the disney+ logo bit just. disappeared from the runtime lol) and I SAW THAT CARLOS'S SHIRT IS THE ONE HE HAS ON IN OVER AGAIN!!! LIKE I'M PRETTY SURE!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! It took me a minute of having it paused at the very beginning of the recap but then when I registered it I was like o.o xD. Anyway!

Going from those three into Ash, honeyyy 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔. Madison picking up 😭😭 :'(((. It's okay honey, I'm sure Maddox still likes you, it's probably a misunderstanding D':. Maybe they were breaking up and Maddox didn't answer because she was upset lol. Anyway xD! I felt so bad for her 😭😭. Also AAHHHH HER CLEANING OUT HER LOCKER HIGDKZOSMP 😭😭😭. Like of their pictures :'((. But I was also like xD "chill girl they're still your friends 😭 xD" lol. Maybe she left like one of Big Red so he's equal to her other friends xD. I justified she didn't have multiple of Maddox :((. But, anyway, ouch <3333.

AAAAAHHHHHHHH KOURTNEYYYY!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER :'DDDD. Obviously this whole thing is still scary, but she just seems genuinely happy here :'). I don't think we would've seen that if we watched her visit an Ivy League. And then the song being her sign 😭😭😭- stop, don't talk to me <33. It was perfect :')). And AAAHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!! GIRL YOU SLAYED S O H A R D :DDDD!!! WHOOOO ❤️❤️🤩🥰😍🥳🥳😭❤️❤️. Good crying lol <3. It was just amazing :'D. And again, I'm just so happy that she's happy 🥰. Obviously it's still scary, and anxiety-inducing, and weird, but I think she feels a tiny bit more confident in her journey now :'). And hopefully, she can enjoy the year a little bit more <3. Also, I love how surprised they all looked when she started singing xD. A very real reaction lol. And as they SHOULD, she is amazing :DDDD. I love her so much <3333.

AAAHHHHHH EJ!!!! HE'S HERE :DDDD!!! Well I mean, he's not here lol, he's there, but you know xD. HE'S ARRIVED ON THE SHOWWW!!! Lol xD. Anyway!! AAHHHH He's thriving so much :'D. And he's away from his dad :')). I'm honestly just so happy for him <333. Also, it seems like he may mayhaps (just go with it - lol call me ginain 1x05- anyway xD) have a thing going on with Val 👀👀? Good for you EJ :'D. I'm happy for you :') 🥰. He deserves this so much <333. Also, that SONG!!! IT WAS AMAZING 😭😭❤️❤️❤️. And AYYY they finally let Matt play guitar :D xD. I love him so much lol <3. EJ and Matt :).

RINA!! Okay so Ricky first, man was going through it 😭😭💔❤️. I definitely think he really needed that time with EJ <3. And honestly just, time away in general. But not alone :). But like, between seeing how EJ is flourishing (especially given what EJ said at the end), and being outside of everything and being able to look at it with an outside perspective (from himself and EJ), it was what he needed :'). Also that tough love was really what he needed 😭 xD. Seriously though, EJ saying basically that he would do anything for Gina, and the she deserves the best? 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️ Stop, I'm not okay <3333. But seriously, their conversation was just SO. GOOD. And the ACTING bro don't even get me started on how amazing everyone's acting has been 😭😭💔❤️. But Ricky crying? Dang that hit HARD!! And yeah, EJ said exactly what he needed to hear. A little comfort in the way of having faith of him, a little tough love, and just plain old love. He's finally starting to heal, to not run, and I just love that so much for him :')). I'm so happy for Ricky 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 :')). He deserves this <3.

Also them hugging and saying I love you 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. I can't dude I love them so much <333. They really are brothers :')).

Though I've gotta say that right after/during that I was like "and after you keep stealing his girlfriends too :')" AND THEN THEY BASICALLY SAID THAT SLFJGHDKGJLS XDD!! That part was amazing lol, on its own too xD. And also the guitar :'D. Lovely <333.

GINAAA!!! GIRL YOU WERE SLAYING SO HARD THIS EPISODE :DDD! GIRL SHE WAS SLAYING SO HARD THIS EPISODE :DDDD!!! Like all the filming?? YES girl go off :O :DD!! Although I am kinda like. "Bestie the rehearsal xD." still lol, but to be fair that still wouldn't have been enough xD. Anyway, I'm glad Mack got to have dinner with them and honestly just be kinda normal for a bit :). Like, him trying to pay? Nah, dude :). And hey, Gina's doing what she said :p. She's training him how to live life a bit :'D. Also Gina's mom liking him was sus 😭😭. I mean like, sus in a :'((( way because she likes him and would let Gina date him but that's just because he's successful DD':. And that's rude frankly :'((. I mean it's more than rude but still lol. And then YES Gina honestly ska <33 stad up to her :)). I know you love her but she ain't perfect and she needs to know what you have to say <3.

And then, that last scene (with Rina). AAAAHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Y'all I was freaking out and then HE SAW MACK AND HE TURNED AWAY AND I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND I SWEAR, BUT THEN AAAAAHHHHHHHHH GINA SAW HIM :DDDD!!! AND I WAS SCARED SHE WOULD BE TOO LATE BUT P H E W SHE WASN'T 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 :'DDD!!! AND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE TOLD HER MOM ABOUT THEM :'DDDD!!!!!! AND AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WAS THAT SECOND CHANCE PLAYING??? BUT I JUST WPXIGUSNMOSMLOAUNPA AND THEN THE K I S S S S S!!!! Y'ALL THAT WAS SO GOOD 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. AND IT WAS SO CINEMATIC!!! AAAHHHHHHH I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH :'DDDDDD.

Also side note Ricky calling EJ 😭😭💔❤️ :')).

And then NOOOOOO THE SHOWWW 😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️. Only Emmy and Miss Jenn being there :'((( 😭😭💔. I was hoping at least a few people would be :'(( but no D':. I mean I know they're all going tough it but 😭 DD':. Anyway that sucks really bad :((. Also what was the principal doing before he came in that he was so happy about lol. Anyway xD.

Accidentally am at the end of the episode and haven't done Miss Jenn yet (shhh might've forgotten xdd) SO here she is :D. Again her and Carlos's scenes were wonderful 😭😭😭❤️❤️. I just love her being there for him :'))). And him for her 🥰🥰. And you know what? We deserve this. We deserve sad Carlos who gets comfort ��😤😌. Does it hurt? Yes xd. But it's GOOD 😭❤️❤️❤️ MH <333. Anyway xD. Poor Miss Jenn overall though :'((. Especially with the show 😭😭 DD':. I love her though <333

And poor Emmy too :'((. Honey's just trying her best <33. And I mean she literally came to this school for the musical and to be with them D':. Poor girl 😭😭❤️ <333. Plus Carlos said Seb was the only reliable theatre kid but now there's Emmy :'((( :'). She is, but no one else was there 😭💔. Anyway she's slaying as always :'( <333.

Oh also I forgot to mention it but 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔 CARLOS SITTING IN THE STAIRWELL WITH IT RAINING LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SEB KILLED ME 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔❤️. Also the caption said something about "my favorite person" or something like that so ha I'm fine :'))). Heh :'))). Also, WE HAD NO IDEA HOW DEPRESSING THESE SCENES REALLY WERE 😭😭😭😭💔💔. Like from the promo pics xdd 😭😭. First Halloween now this 😭. Like this one looked sad unless you were like me and thought it as just his skater outfit for a second :')), but still it was WAY worse 😭😭😭💔 DD':. Anyway it killed me thank you :)) :')) :'(( <3333.

Maddox, Jet, Seb, and Nini - we miss you :')) ❤️😭💔❤️❤️🥰. I have no clue where Maddox and Jet were but you know xD.

This episode was so amazing. I loved it so much :'DD. Like, yes, it caused me immensely, immeasurable pain, but it was SO GOOD. The EMOTIONS this episode!! And every episode tbh lol. Like I said, I haven't mentioned it much as of yet, but the acting is absolutely PHENOMENAL!!! And just overall y'all I am so not okay with this show 😭😭😭❤️💔💔 xdd. Like, not okay over this show lol. Anyway xD. I'm so scared for the next episode, and the next few episodes. And I'm also SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Y'all I think we might get Over Again next episode :'D (nearly said week lol). That would heal my broken heart a bit <3.

Oh also, input on everything this far from my sibling through my updates (panicked texts): SEB WOULD NEVER THE WRITERS ARE WRONG. Summarized a bit, but it wasn't much longer than that lol. So yeah, that <3 xD. I agree but I'm still okay with the storyline lol. Again - I'm just enjoying what I've got :).

Anyway!! Yeah :)). Wonderful episode- OH YEAH!!! THE MUSIC WAS S O GOOD!!!! I know I talked about them individually but it was just AMAZING :'DDD!!! Both songs were so amazing, thank you very much for those 🥰🥰. I loved them :'D. And again, that Second Chance motif killed me <3.

But yeah!! I'm so nervous and so excited :))).

NOW IT'S TIME FOR EPISODE 6!!!!

[louebel]

Hi! Can I request fluff Law x fem!reader where reader is feels sick but tries to ignore it/do things on her own (she’s not used to ask for help) but as a doctor law easily can tell by the signs and it happens during their sea journey on the polar tang? Hope I’m not asking too much love ya 🥺

Feel free to add angst or anything else to your writing ^•^

this is super old and the only request i'll ever do (atm) since i had a wip— ANON SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER <\3 reader is gn since i used the second person and no description.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: trafalgar law × gn!reader 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 6,124 wc. a bit angsty, ends with fluff, emotional reader for the sickness, law is bad at emotions. this turned longer than expected, i hope it's decent xdd hit me up if there's any mistakes lol. supposed to be called windows of the soul,, divider by @ benkeibear my lord and saviour. 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: sickness overtook your body and worsened your already pitiful situation. law has been ignoring you and you have no idea why... but with how you felt, there was no way you could confront him at the moment.

scrub, scrub, scrub... 

"... phew ..." 

scrub... poof! 

"Oh! — damnit — aargh..." 

Cleaning today has been a nightmare. Never been so tedious. 

Like, it was already uninteresting compared to all the other things you could do, but today it was ten times worse. You could bear it, seeking to make dusting shelves fun by humming some random tune to yourself. It was okay, something you had to do every once in a while. You could do it. 

If only you weren't sick. 

"Achoo! Achoo! — urgh... Achooo..! Damn." 

You began feeling like this some days ago, or so you told yourself as you delicately hunched down to the floor, hoping to grasp the yellow sponge soaked in foam and water without experiencing excruciating pain. However, your hopes soon shattered as your back screamed in agony and your legs trembled with soreness, almost giving up on you. 

Just the flu, you insisted, it would go away. A couple of sneezes mean nothing. You would feel better and all would go back to the ordinary. 

... Oh, how wrong you were! And how stupid for not getting a day off. 

You were capable, though! You counted on your immune system (it sounded heroic the first time you thought of that). One night is all you needed. 

Or not. 

"Ow, ow..." 

You should've told your captain. Sure, it would cost your courage, pride, and dignity, but at least you'd be cured. You'd rather die than tell him you got sick because of the one herb he instructed everybody to avoid. 

What's worse is that he's been rather distant, and he's unquestionably avoiding you. The way he shoots daggers — no, whole machetes in your direction every time you do anything, smart or not, is so clear even the crew can see it. And the worst part? You do not know why. 

It had been like this for a while now, and you detested this whole plight with passion. Everything was okay between the two of you, you were sure of it! What did you do that spurred such a reaction? From one so dear to you? 

Those sweet memories... 

From new findings you excitedly presented him, to revealing himself, his past and adventures to you after almost a year of sailing. You knew everything about him. He knew everything about you. 

So why? Why stop so abruptly? You didn't mind when he digressed about his newfound coins. When he murmured under his breath while he pored over medical books or mulled about a particular topic. When he stressed over labor and called for a brief break, where you or the crew would attend to him by delivering him a meal or helping when he wasn’t looking. He's so stubborn.

"Uurgh..." 

From captain, to Law, to captain again. Not to mention how he deftly stopped you from hanging out with him. You thought he needed space at first. Maybe he was tired and had to rest for the next few days. That’s alright. However, your thoughts deteriorated as the days passed. But well, right now it's better if he doesn't see you at all. Nor the crew‌ — oh, the damn crew. Those two.

The "two" being the pair of nitwits that constantly stand by law's side and grin at you. Seriously... 

You do not understand what Penguin and Shachi find so amusing about your situation with him. It's a tragedy, not a comedy. You love them both, truly, the minute you stepped into the polar tang they were the first ones to get you to open up and all, but goodness, you wish you could beat them for sitting there, cackling and clapping their hands while confiding some mysterious comments to each other when la — the captain, showed up in the area and walked past you with an unreadable gaze. He'd constantly salute you and the others with a bow of his head or more, depending on his mood. 

Now? If he saw one inch of your form? 

Sigh. His face always went red. 

Why can't those two just tell you? Even Ikkaku seemed to know something you didn't. She was more subtle about it, though. Jean Bart wasn't slick either. You could see him smile from a mile away. Hakugan and Clione? Shachi and Penguin 2.0, except they hid behind Jean Bart. The rest pitied you instead, sometimes patting your back — sometimes shaking their head almost in disbelief. Oh, and Bepo gave you suspicious smiles! Every time he tried to say something to you, those two animal hat-wearing goblins silenced him. Did they just want you to suffer? 

And if they did want that then their curses were working because even after grabbing the sponge (almost losing your temper as it slipped through your gloved palm twice) and straightening back to an erect pose, your head was still banging with fervor, muscles barely reacting. 

If only you could snuggle with the fluffy, warm mink right now. A bitter sigh rushed past your lips at the thought. 

Those two were just so mean. But Law was much meaner — the captain, the captain... Yes, the captain. That... That dummy. 

You groaned and shook your head while forcing your wobbly arms to scrub the table, exhausted mentally with this never-ending train of thoughts and these fanciful fists leaving invisible bruises all over your poor body. Not to point out those hands pinching your brain like dough... 

Just — you... Goodness, what was it he suddenly despised so much? The submarine felt like home. It was home, especially when he joined you. Now when he does, he — the aura he emanates is intimidating, yet everyone is either unaware of it or not affected by it. 

What made him so resentful? You can barely say anything when he strides into the place, too panicked to learn how he would perceive you or talk to you if you go on. It's like you're back on step one, isolated, too scared to be yourself with your family. Because of one man who's supposed to be the head of it. 

Being you felt like a sin when close to him, as if he preferred the private variant of who you are, and shunned your curious and spirited self. You could understand since he’s rather closed off and well, in a certain aspect you are too, but — did he not like you at all? Was it all an act to not offend you? He didn't seem to dislike your vivid reactions initially, or your foolish gestures when nearing a fresh island. You were often silent, smiling and listening to others converse, but when around your companions, you easily liked to open up since it was the only time you could do so. And they were more than just that. You entrusted all the members of the heart pirates. They meant everything to you. Even him, who stopped including you. 

Ugh... 

You wished it could all go back to normal. 

This disease enjoyed fumbling with your previously scrambled sentiments. Law did mention it brought a high fever and emotional susceptibility. You didn't consider it'd be this severe. 

"... Okay, I'm done." 

You certainly weren't, with your bed unmade and furniture still dusty; floor imploring for a good wash. However, with the croaky voice you had paired with your runny nose, you doubted you could do more. Even if you did, it'd be better not to. 

You peered down at the bucket full of water that probably smelled better than you at the moment, ignoring the small puddle beside it made by your poor handling sponges skills. Grimacing, you decided to leave it where it was in case carrying it back turns out to be a challenge. Hopefully, Ikkaku can provide you help later. 

Looking around, your droopy eyelids dimmed your perspective and further provoked you as both exasperation and exhaustion mixed and boiled in your gut, room so messy it mirrored your current state. You didn't know what was irritating you more: the light of the lamp or the disarray you resided in. 

Howling dejectedly, you turned and plodded to your bed, opening your arms, ready to throw yourself on the mattress. The more you sleep, the sooner you'll get better. Yeah, you're so brilliant. You closed your eyes and — 

knock knock. 

— reopened them a second after, remaining immobile for an extra few before glowering at your door, contemplating whether to go open it or linger to determine if they'd leave. Hmm. 

You waited. 

... knock knock. 

Fantastic.

You gritted your teeth, drawing a profound breath to settle your nerves, haywire thanks to the hellish illness. They didn’t deserve to withstand your rage, but who knows, maybe by seeing your shape, they'll show sympathy and tell you. That could work. 

Okay. 

You sluggishly trudged to the door, not bothering to adjust your unbuttoned pajamas and faking a cheerful facade. You hoped your face didn't look too awful, but you couldn't care less right now. 

Gripping and twisting the knob, you pushed it open, greeting them with the feeblest voice you've ever had, your sore nose making it unthinkable to inhale air. You rubbed the back of your head while doing so, eyelids closed to evade any light. 

"Yo, Penguin, Shachi, how can I—" the words automatically came out of your coarse and blazing throat, opening your eyes a bit to look at... them... 

Then you saw a tattoo. And more tattoos. No white, poofy boiler suits in sight. 

By barely seeing light before, you tried giving yourself mercy, but now you were only slaughtering yourself to make sure the person in front of you was, well. Him. 

Your jaw fell while your brows lifted in consternation, but shortly returned down thanks to your declining headache. Your pupils then scaled the mountain of mass before you and arrived at the peak. Another pair of eyes. 

Cool, gray eyes. The ones that just a week ago welcomed you with compassion and comfort. Now they drive you to wither away from this world. Even if you look up to them. (Hehe, get it? man, you're so silly, wow.) 

"—help … Captain. Uh, hello." and there goes your comfort zone. 

You tried swallowing down air but got pounds of mucus down your stomach instead, curved posture closing up even more in his presence, ashamed to be seen in such a weak state, instantly regretting not managing your appearance as his gaze scrutinized you from top to bottom, probably displeased with how you presented yourself.. 

You looked everywhere but at him. He only looked at you. 

Envy spurted from the plant’s toxins. How could he focus on one thing and have so much confidence to stare at someone without breaking eye contact at all? If you do the same for longer than two seconds, it feels like whoever looked at you has seen your entire personality, life, darkest secrets that you didn't really have, closest people to you — everything in poor words. The windows of your soul, perpetually agape.

How does he keep them closed? Why can't you seal them at all? Why?— 

"—so care to explain the meaning of this?" 

"Huh?" 

You stupidly stared at him, blinking and glancing at his shoulders, then back at him to break whatever spell he put on you, not able to concentrate at all. 

Barely could you see the annoyed expression on his face. You hoped he wasn't dealing with excessive stress. Making him feel worse was not your intention. 

"I said, care to explain what this is? You look... terrible—" you cringed at that, "—and you haven't come out of your room since this morning. Do you have any idea what time it is?" His scrutinizing tone made you want to crawl under your blankets and stay there forever, but his patronizing gaze didn't let you. 

You could merely fidget with your fingers and glance back at the floor to relieve your worries, which mixed with pain, fatigue, and dirtiness. You called for sleep so badly. 

"I'm—I'm sorry, Captain. I, uh, I didn't—" sniff, "—mean to skip my duties. Sorry." 

His brow creased in suspicion at your raspy voice and poor shape. 

"Is that so? Look at me while you say it." if his words weren't menacing enough, his tone was too. He knew you couldn't do that. Especially now. 

"Uh..." you unconvincingly whispered, continuing to play with your fists, until rubbing your nape once more, shuddering at how chilled your hands were compared to it. 

Your actions were, again, spotted by him, and if one more thing occurred, then he'll be correct. 

"Well? I'm waiting." 

"..." 

Sighing exasperated, you raised your head to look into his pupils once again.  

Unbeknownst to you, he already confirmed another of his impressions while taking a further view of your sullen visage. 

"I, uhm, overslept, Captain. That — that happens sometimes, yeah? Sorry about that. I'll—I'll..." stopping for a moment, you squinted your eyes and scrunched your nose while the man before you attentively fixated his stare on your frame and— 

"Achooo!" —covered half of your face whilst he recoiled back at the loud sneeze you let out, not expecting it at all. He blinked, then you sneezed again, and again. Streak of three. 

If your voice and glossy eyes already told everything to the doctor, the continuous sneezes only reinforced his thesis. 

You exhaled haplessly as he sternly said your name. 

"You're sick." his firm and coherent words could not be fooled. Your fate was sealed. 

"...Yeah." at this point, you didn't care. He was gonna scold you, nothing you could do about it. You could only hope he'll do that after you're cured because right now, you could barely stand still without shivering. You were sure if he wanted to do something he would have already, so he definitely will have a talk with you after you're healthy. 

"Why?" you've been proven wrong so many times this morning — afternoon. Evening? That you don't know what's gonna happen next. 

You stared at him numbly, almost done with everything. 

"What do you mean 'why'? I don't, I don't know. Probably our... Ugh, our last stop, isn't that obvious—" 

"Not that. Why didn't you say anything? To the others? To me?" 

If it wasn't for your head beating incessantly and the aching of your tendons ruining everything, you would think this was a dream. 

You kept gawking at him like a goldfish. His timbre wasn't as stern as it regularly was. It was a bit, just a tad bit lower. Like, barely. His eyes were softer, and if you met the man yesterday, you wouldn't be capable of identifying his mood. It's because you knew him for so long that you could distinguish it. 

"I..." you mumbled talks under your breath, awfully feeble to maintain the discussion, barring your eyes and hitching away when Law planted his freezing hand on your forehead. You fussed in protest, although it didn't last long. 

"You're cold... Off." 

"My hands are perfectly fine. You're burning," he interrupted you, stating the obvious. But you were far too deep to listen, fatigued. 

"Yeah... M'sorry." you nodded while deliberately looking down in shame, almost dropping to the ground out of fatigue. Everything seems hazy, the pressure in your skull fading, while the breaths you took were meager. 

Something skimmed over your shoulder and nape — ah, his fingertips — palm carefully tilting your head back up. Your mouth hung open, and you attempted to focus on your captain's facial features and the iconic hat to not fall asleep. 

"It's fine." But his gentle approach and mellow maneuvers set you in a soothing trance, where you couldn't do anything other than auscultate him. 

It’d be an exceptional moment to speak up about these last days, his odd actions. 

"It... It is? You, ah... You're not..." but you struggled to do so, chest too heavy to speak. He narrowed his eyes, striving to make out what you were saying, but it was all incomprehensible to him. 

"I'm not?" he urged you to proceed, getting closer — he felt warm. Wasn't he cold some seconds ago? Ah, he’s draping his coat over your shoulders, so, so cozy, — and holding you as if you were glass. Why was he holding you? It felt nice, undoubtedly nice. Oh, you were going to fall, you think. 

“Hey—hey. It’s okay. I got you. I got you.” 

Cradling you in his arms, Law cursed and crouched down, snaking an arm under your knees and sweeping you up, a short "there" slipping from his tongue, keeping you close to his breast. Naturally, you snuggled close to the source of heat, losing consciousness, unaware of your surroundings, his distress, and jogging to the infirmary. 

“Hey. Keep your eyes open. No, no, open—yes, yes, like that. Good job. A bit more, then you can go to sleep, alright?" 

While nodding lazily when he said your name again, you curled up for more warmth, and he mellowly followed your movement, hefting you up and pressing his lips upon your forehead, his frown deepening at how high the temperature was. He needed to administer medicine quickly. 

"Law …'m sorry if I smell." 

He scoffed. Thinking of such idiotic things was exactly like you, sputtering them out so bluntly. Rolling his eyes was natural at this point. 

"That's my last concern. We'll think of your scent and hygiene later. Don't speak. Shh." 

So stupid, so stupid. He should've confronted you ever since you left the island. He should've. It's been a recurring pattern these days. He couldn't see you because of his work but spoke with the others at breakfast, lunch, dinner... They all grew concerned about your distance. Uni shared that it began right after the departing... He knew something wasn't right with you, he could feel it.

Back in that inhabited location, he quickly took note of your drooping posture and fatigued breathing. He wanted to ask about it, but the following days, you acted normal, and Law thought you were queasy because of the heat.

Then he got busy checking on the crew's documents, medicine supply, the damn broken scope Hakugan sadly reported, bounties, news — and something else. He managed to give a check-up to everyone but you. It was mandatory after leaving an island.

With you evading him and him doing the same, this happened. Great. He could only hope it wasn't contagious.

... Wait.

He gritted his teeth in sour realization — Not once has he seen you in the halls or dining hall. No one mentioned you, either. Have you eaten anything at all? Oh, you imbecile.

He palmed your skin through your suit, easing your laments and whimpers, walking through the hallways of the Polar Tang and reaching the infirmary. Kicking the door open while lulling you a bit, shushing and fluttering his eyelids at your sick and quaking form. 

"There we go. Shh, I know, I know, it's awful." 

Uplifting the blankets, he quickly covered you and began searching for his equipment, rustling and metal clicks tangling with your whines. 

"U- uuh... W- where..?" 

"I'll be there in a second. I'm here." 

As he said that, he quickly came back to you, already stirring medicine in a cup. He had to give to you before you blacked out or fell asleep. Sliding a hand under your back, he carefully pushed you up, gaining a groan from you; you sounded so tired. Tipping your head forward, he brought the rim of the cup to your lips. You were delirious, could barely see or feel, but managed to follow his direct instruction to "open". The first glass was tasteless, fresh... water. 

The second tasted awful. 

"E—eugh..." 

"A couple more sips and we're done. Come on, you're doing good." 

Once you drank it all, with a small praise from Law, he gently laid you back down, about to check your vitals. He knew you were in no condition to do as he instructed, it would be all him. Idiot, idiot... 

Just looking at you made him guilty. He never saw you this awful. However, what truly pushed him were your next phrases. 

“Do you feel better now..?” 

Low and dry, they all were. He halted his movements, his hands in the bag, shifting his attention to you. 

Your question puzzled him. 

Feel better? Him? He was fine. Perhaps you thought the disease was contagious? No; you would've phrased that diversely. His forehead creased, slightly tilted to the side. 

"What?" 

“I … I missed you." 

And as clear drops cascaded down your cheeks, his limbs froze, a bittersweet ache striking his chest. 

"I—I thought I did something wrong … I’m sorry … Should've told you. 'M sorry ... really...” 

Shit. 

“No, no, don’t be. It’s alright, don't—don't speak. You did nothing. Shh...” 

And if you stayed conscious for some more seconds, you could've seen those severe pupils mitigate. The windows of his soul open up; the "stern" gaze he preserved for you withering in an instant at your vulnerability. 

All he wanted to do was clear that up. When, now..? 

“I—I’m the one that should’ve apologized, damn it…” 

"Aargh..." 

Warm. 

"Mmh..." 

It was very warm. Pleasant. 

"Hn..." 

The boilersuit felt different. Heavier, and not … poofy. Hm. 

The pillow was so nice, though... 

You sought a better position under the comforting and amiable regime of your blanket, squinting your glistening eyes as if sand had struck them; eyebrows knitting in distaste and discomfort, choler cramming up your insides — but not for long, extremely achy and sleepy to lament. 

Shouldn't it be easier to relax now that you are tired? Shifting left and right left your muscles throbbing. The peace you could achieve in your dreams was all you begged for. But no, you just had to rise two more times in the span of minutes or hours. 

When you woke up the third time, someone surprised you. He was perching on a chair near the infirmary's bed, head, presumably about to doze off. An encyclopedia of vegetation and exotic environs sat in his palms and dotted jeans, the cover made of green-coloured leather, firm to the touch. 

He looked peaceful. 

"... Law?" 

Your lashes fluttered at the fierce shudder that rocked his frame, the textbook about to fall, his eyes snapping open and rapidly darting up to you. 

"Oh. You woke up. Good. Good evening." 

You were mad at him. You were mad at him. 

His lips were indubitably moving. Whatever he was saying, you were not listening. Something about being out for hours, but you were too out of it to pay attention. 

And looking down at your body, your eyeballs almost popped out of your sockets at the sight of... Not your boilersuit. 

"I'm in my pajamas?" 

"And — hm? Oh. I changed you." Pause. "With my devil fruit, of course. Obviously. You were way too hot in it." 

"..." 

"..." 

Pause number two. 

"I'm hot?" You bluntly said,

"Not in that way." And he quickly retorted, bashful. You immediately got gloomy.

"Oh..." You and Bepo were alike. He couldn’t help but sweatdrop.

"No, no, no, don't — you look fine. That's not what I meant." 

A hoarse chuckle ripped from your sensible larynx, a noise that he hadn't heard in a while. His back loosened at your jovial note, the pressure applied on the envelope of the manual lessening. 

There was a superb illustration of the flora you accidentally whiffed. 

"You inhaled it, didn't you?" 

... Silence followed. Then a sigh.

"A simple allergy with a sore throat and emotional instability in the first phase caused by the pollen, weakened muscles and headache in the second, and heightened senses, nausea, and worsening of the body in the last one. You felt them all." 

Quick and precise, each symptom he mentioned appeared throughout the weeks you boarded on the Polar Tang. He hit the mark. Glancing at him from the corner of your eyes, you nodded sheepishly, feeling hot in your cheeks. 

"Y—Yeah." 

"I thought I mentioned dodging those peculiar red flowers. I don't expect you to recall the name, but to avoid it. Thankfully, you only inhaled its pollen, or else you would've been in this bed the moment we departed." 

"O—oh... That bad?" 

"No, not really. The symptoms would've developed quicker, but nothing dangerous. Perhaps you would have slept over two days, as all cases do when encountering this allergy," He narrows his eyes at you, shutting the book and crossing his long legs, his foot jouncing. "Not at all fatal, only worrying when the patient in question mentions nothing about the symptoms and overworks themselves.” 

“Hey—” 

“You're fine." 

A small huff left your lips, nodding lazily. Nothing was uttered after from both sides. Occasional groans from yours. Only then he spoke. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"..." The answer was simple. He immediately found the illness yet couldn't pinpoint the cause of this? It was almost ironic. Your quietude wasn't taken well. 

"Well?" 

"... You ignored me. You made it clear." 

And he was faking ignorance. That glance, his attitude. You knew him too well, but had no energy to call him out. 

"I—I didn't." 

"Don't play coy, Law. Did I do something? Even the others know. Penguin and Shachi told me. I—" 

You paused when he raised his hand, glancing at it in confusion, then back at him, twice or more. He sighed and dropped it back on his thigh again, using his other one to rub his temple in distress. 

"You did nothing. I don't know what... Shachi and Penguin said," You tilted your head at his peculiar manner of quoting them. "But I've got nothing against you." 

He stopped rubbing and lifted his head to check on you again and you were unsure of what to say. His brows wrinkled the tender skin of his forehead, severity, and minor unease painting every fiber of his appearance. 

You just... didn't know. 

"Really? Then why those weird stares? Why leave the room the moment I come in? I mean." you flailed your hands around, looking everywhere as if you could find an explanation. "You never behaved this way, Law, not with anyone. I... It was fine before, right? Let me ask again, did I do something wrong?" 

"Of course not!" 

At his hasty exclamation, you blinked, uncertain why he became as rigid as stone. Palms back on the blanket, you awaited an elaboration of his thoughts, observing his adumbral face to detect any key to figure out what caused him to alter his ways with you. However, his hat, which you've always appreciated for its fluffiness, turned out to be an issue. Those eyes you've grown so fond of refused to meet yours. 

You just couldn't get it. The surrounding air grew an intoxicating no romance book would mention, one that did the contrary of setting your heart aflame, that poor muscle of yours. 

If he explained, it would've been easier. 

"Okay, 'of course not' ... Sure—" 

"We are not having this conversation. You need rest." 

He briskly cut you off, and your heart felt constricted. The words felt bitter upon both of your tongues, so bitter and revolting, they made his jaw clench and your eyes water. You weren't having it. Absolutely not. 

"I feel better now, thank you, and I say we're having this right here." You pushed, ignoring how he clenched his tattooed fist.

"No—" 

"Yes, Law! I don't know what I did, but if it bothers you, shouldn’t you tell me? There are things we can all miss." 

The pang in your brain was still active, and you had no patience nor strength to argue. Either he spoke up or you'd go straight to sleep. 

"I... You did nothing that bothers me." 

His speech was almost a whisper, a low rumble, and were you in your regular state, you'd feel sad to see him like this. Law had no trouble speaking up— perhaps with apologies, or admitting to be wrong when in the midst of a conversation. Maybe something genuinely bothered him. But he'd tell you, wouldn't he? He had to.

But you weren't the only one who had to consider the consequences. He also had to do his part. 

"... And?" you encouraged him, to gain something, something that would lead you both to that damned thing you were both chasing, that ounce of understanding. 

“And—and what?" alas, it served another wave of blistering dissatisfaction down upon the membranes of your boiling stomach. 

He couldn't be serious. 

"... Whatever. I'm going to sleep." 

"What?" 

You detested how you were feeling, a volcano of passions, the pounding in your skull, and the heat, and the ludicrous, nagging insecurity, all these wretched, gristly sensations shoved in your mouth and scraping your gullet, such a relucting and squalid dish, contaminating your palate and inflaming the gums of your teeth. 

But all Law could see was how your eyes moistened and reddened, the crinkles at the corners of your mouth, the contracted tissues above your nose. 

You couldn't feel how his heart plummeted, either. Again, he caused you to cry. 

"Hey... I—" 

"No, Law, no! I said leave! You ignored me for almost two weeks and now—now you're just..!" 

Perhaps you were being a bit too "dramatic" for something you could solve with a modest exchange, something that, compared to all the obstacles you and Law went through, was a sheer grain of dust in your shoes. Yet you erupted for the frustration, the plant's effects and that nameless thing you'll bring in your grave, for if he knew, he'd probably pity you. 

Maybe, just maybe, he should've kept ignoring you. If solely to dim that warmth. The glow in your eyes that only sparked with him. 

"I don't mind if you need time. I don't mind if you're busy or whatever, that's obviously fine! But can't you tell me? Is it that hard? Instead of treating me like a stranger? Just—just, just leave..." 

Your snotty voice seemed ridiculous, resounding through the infirmary alongside your sobs and sniffles. Vision tarnished by your tears, staring at the ceiling with resignation. It alarmed Law, whose emotions were already scattered; unnerved, anxious. 

He couldn't take seeing you like this. He couldn't. 

"That’s not it! I... I just — I..!" His broken explanations fell as your cries didn't stop; spasms traveling through your frazzled nerves. He swore under his breath, getting up and coming to you, standing close but so, so distant. His fingers jerked, impatient to wipe your tears, to calm you down, to assure you everything was alright, and this was all on him. 

"What..?" you meekly whimpered, gazing at him as he appeared in your sight. 

"I, I..!" if only he could express himself. You'd figure out. If only he could, without buckling and tearing apart at the weight of his own feelings. 

"... You what, Law?" 

It was tough to see with all those tears coating your scleras, but... His lips quivered. His jaw tensed. 

His hands craved yours. 

"I like—I like you!" 

... You wondered if illusions were part of the symptoms. Your eyelids were all but relaxed. Popeyed. 

"There. I said it. I mean it. Seriously. I—I think I love you." 

You could feel his frantic grip, slightly pulling the blankets in his direction, tense as him. You've never seen Law so … jittery with you. Perhaps when he slowly spoke of his past, or when his plan failed. 

"I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I... I was confused. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't... No, okay. I, I love you, but you don't have to reciprocate, really. ‌I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't—" 

This was different, however. Not the same vulnerability, nor agitation. That teetering edge coating his sayings, not at all close to those instances. 

"... Law." 

"—ignoring you, I mean, I was, but I just couldn't face you, you know? I didn't know how to act—" 

That glow, those feelings. The twinkle in his eyes Bepo mentioned when you spoke of something that fascinated you, that rare grin on his lips, and that sweetness, the swelling in his chest, and the red, and the breath of fresh air, and the intoxicating romance books loved to talk about... 

Those tints blooming in his cheeks. The faint relaxation of his defined brows. How he covered his pretty, vulnerable self. 

He's no different from you. Oh, oho ho, no, he wasn’t. Only now did you realize. 

"Law." 

"—but I missed you so much, I missed your presence, being with you, I—" 

Your heartbeats matched. 

"Law!" 

You understand now. The definitive yell induced him to quit his blabbering, and eventually, he found your gaze. Those windows were not locked at all. Not marginally, not halfway. They were fully open. You could see him. 

"It's... the same." 

It was all you could utter. His jaw loosened, and you could recognize his wide, stormy irises. 

"Huh? Wh — what?" 

"I feel the same way, Law. I—I love you too." 

Yours were open, too. They always were- yet he never acknowledged what dwelled inside. Two fools you both were. 

"... Oh..." and a breathless whisper was all he could offer. 

The silence dissipated. A delightful warmth occupied your rib cage. The pressure was gone. 

All is back to normal. 

"If... If you weren't sick. I'd kiss you." He mumbled, and his lips looked more luscious than ever. He shouldn't have said that. Now it was even harder. 

"P—pfft... Of course, of course. Can you come closer, at least?" you pouted, giving him the best puppy eyes you could muster. “Pretty please?”

"... Fine. It's — not contagious, anyway," he huffed, his cheeks a light pink, and he sat on the margin of the infirmary's bed, hustling just a tad bit closer... 

Closer... 

"Closer?" 

"Alright." 

His ears grew pink at your giggles. Your fingers graced each other, "DEATH" entwined with you. His hands were lukewarm. Long, slim, calloused in some places, but also tender to the contact. His metacarpals were partially discernible, defining the shadows. He took care of his nails, ensuring they were cut short, although they appeared slightly, just somewhat lengthier than usual. Not considerably, however; they were still short. 

How you missed holding it. 

"Sorry, by the way. About everything." Squeezing his hand, you attempted to show him what it meant to you. He squeezed it back, brushing the top of your hand with his thumb, a pensive and solemn look on his face. 

"No- I should apologize for not saying anything sooner. I neglected and avoided you. I … I don’t know what to do. You know I’m not the type for relationships.” 

You hummed in acknowledgement, but weren't as worried as Law. You'll wait. Nothing would change. 

“Mmm. I can wait for you, Law.” Saying it seemed to take him off guard, as if he hadn't thought about it. Or, rather, didn't expect you to propose it. In his head, it seemed silly because it's him. If you were to ask in his place, he'd also wait. 

He felt lighter. 

“… Truly?” 

“Yeah. We can figure it out together. Like we always did. I’ve loved you for years." He inhaled deeply, your words buttery and sweet. "I’m fine with waiting longer.” 

Thinking you wouldn't accept, if he asked, was stupid of him too. Of course you would. Of course. With another squeeze, he nodded, and turned his head away from you a bit. 

His eyes glistened. 

“I’d like that. Thank you.” 

You smiled, too, saying nothing in return. 

He can take all the time he needs. 

After some days, everything went back to the typical routine. The first thing you did was knock Shachi and Penguin's heads, (supported by Ikkaku) and since Hakugan and Clione were on duty, you couldn't do the same for them. 

You puffed your cheeks and enjoyed chewing the well-earned treat you snagged from the kitchen, reorganizing boxes since this morning. 

"Tired?" 

Peeking at the door, a smile adorned your mouth at the sight of your captain leaning on it. 

"Mm, there were a lot of them." 

"You could've asked for help. You know I don't want any of you to strain yourselves with tasks." 

"I had it. Don't worry. Although..." another bite. "I miss it." 

"Hm?" he crooned, tipping his head forward. "Miss what?" 

You gazed into his eyes, "Miss getting pampered by you when I was sick." lovingly observing how they enlarged a bit before returning to the stoic stare he always wore, swaying his head to dismiss your remarks. The chambré tint on his cheeks was as clear as day, like his light smile. Not that you'd tell him, he'd immediately disregard it. 

"... Meet me at my office once you're done." 

As he turned his back to you, his boots making clicky rumors with each step, your smirk amplified... After all, who could wait to get coddled by none other than their favorite captain?

[chickenkurage]

KJABKHKABKJHABKJAKJBAJKAAJAKJABKJABAKJB CHAPTER 2 OF ATG!ALAN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

OKAY FIRST OF ALL WHAT??? PURPLE HAS ACTUALLY MET HIM BEFORE AS A CHILD??? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- NOW I'M CURIOUS IF PURPLE WILL REMEMBER HIM IF HE EVER SEES NOOGAI AGAIN- OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- BUT POOR PURPLE HE JUST WANTED SOME FRIENDS, FYM THEY WERE SCARED OF HIM BEING A FULL HEAD THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE HE'S STILL A KID YOU KIDS- GEEZ OH MY GOSH- AND AT LEAST WE GOT TO SEE SOME WORRY NAVY I GUESS- SECOND IS JUST LIVING THE LIFE OF THE OUTERNET RN WITH EVERYTYAND THE CITY, IT'S LITERALLY A WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE FOR EVERYONE!!! (minus purple and king I think-) AND VICTIM IS ON A MISSION TO FIND NOOGAI AND CONFRONT HIM LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ALSO NGL BUT IT REALLY FEELS MORE DIFFERENT TO SEE YOU WRITE VICTIM MORE DIFFERENTLY HONESTLY- LIKE THE THREE HOLLOWHEADS BEING MORE CHILL LIKE YOU SAID UR I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO BE CHILL LIKE THAT GOSH DANG- ALSO VICTIM AND CHOSEN BURNING DOWN A STORE IS SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED AT THE END AS A CLIFFHANGER BUT OH MY GOSH IS THAT REALLY GONNA GRAB HIS ATTENTION??? WONDER WHERE HE EVEN IS DURING ALL THIS TIMEEE!!!

Also the post with his wife and children getting killed to death is something I didn't even expected at all oh my gosh.... SCREW THOSE THREE PPL THAT DID IT TO HIM- NOT THE FAMILY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- NO WONDER THE TAG SAYS FAMILY LOSS :(( THAT MAKES ME IMAGINE HE'LL BURST OUT AND ACCIDENTALLY REVEALS HIS FAMILY DEATH UNTIL HE REALIZED HE SAID IT-

POOR PURPLE INDEED :(( Like the kids didn't have to do that but then again, their parents probably taught them that Purple's kind is no good so they took it to heart and yeah, that.

I really can't comment on Spongey's writing with Victim since this time, I have NO IDEA what direction the story is gonna go but I'm also real excited to find out how ATG will progress :00 But then again, their life is very chill with Alex so of course they be chillin like that UwU There's no reason for Victim to not be chill when that revenge mindset isn't his... mindset??? XDD

And like Vic and Cho burning a store was something so unexpected to me like you could've done something else but I guess committing arson is the best decision amiritee?? YEAH >:DD LET'S GET THE ATTENTION OF THE SELF PROCLAIMED GOD WHO HELPED BUILT THIS CITY BY DESTROYING SOMETHING! HOPEFULLY THIS INTERACTION WILL BE SOMETHING POSITIVE

That family death slip up would have explained everything to them, huh? Imma be here also waiting how the others would react with this revelation hehe

I know you're expecting Spongey to be the one to answer you since you guys are basically like public chatmates??? Like it's not a word but that just how I see it ToT But as of right now writing this response, girlie here is busy fixating on minecraft and her focus CANNOT BE BROKEN And we can't just leave you on standby so here we are :PP - JM

[mochalottie]

My thoughts on the RWRB movie trailer because I get feral about this book and am incredibly picky about details

i've been doubting the chemistry between Alex and Henry and the trailer has given me a tiny bit of hope for what we might get. their smiles, their little looks, the sex scenes (because it will be rated r so no fade to black scenes babes). they work, but it's not quite how I imagined it.

Uma's accent is actually pretty cool. being irish/british i read everything in my head without an accent, so hearing Ellen's 'voice' so to speak is really cool! but if she doesn't give Alex her patented powerpoint presentations i'm going to be upset.

the little look Alex does whilst waiting in line? it's so adorable/such a little shit mood it made me awe a little bit. but the 'how's it going?' with Henry just walking off? that put me off a little. just a tiny bit.

the music works i guess? i mean generic classical music is always going to either be Vivaldi or Handle and it's only the trailer, but i hope they actually get good music.

cakegate is going to be so fucking funny. i can already tell. they got that bit right.

i'm a sucker for small details. but the way that Henry actually turns up for the 'best friend meeting' in the book is so specific. the prince riding up on a horse fresh from a ride through the fields. it's like colin firth in pride and prejudice that's literally how i picture it every time i read it. to replace it with him in a suit driving an admittedly very nice car? with Alex wearing fucking jeans and not his iconic chinos? seriously? also is that shaan??? they haven't gotten rid of him thank god.

the 'my nda's bigger than yours' again is fine?? as a quip?? but the thing about Alex wearing lifts is a good poke at the height differences.

'the sun shine's out his ass and you have a vitamin d defficiancy' YES ZAHRA!!!! the first good quip that had me grinning.

THE CORNETTO SCENE!!! in the wrong clothing again because they're meant to be in cosy relaxing clothes but STILL!!!

HOSPITAL SCENE!!!!! HOSPITAL SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Henry looks like he's in physical pain at the party, and also Alex's suit no ew where's June when you need her. oh yeah. not here. that's why the costumes are all off XDD

the first kiss scene is perfect. word for word i can't wait to squeal and cry and shriek the roof down.

yes we're getting the karaoke scene. but it won't be with their iconic kimonos. brb gonna go sob for the loss of hoe dameron and prince buttercup.

POLO!!!

yes to Zahra and the closet scene. no to 'Brexit your head from your body' that's just...giving me the heebie jeebies for some reason. yes to 'your royal highness' XD

feel forever about him ughhhhhhhh lemme just sob for a sec

DAVID!!!! <33333 and Prince Henry belongs to England TTTT__TTTT

also I know they probably changed the queen to a king because it would have been in poor taste but now that charles is king that shot is giving off vibes of recent times that are just not good. they should've kept it as a queen and made her look completely different.

We're getting the rain scene!!!!!!! and the lake!!!!!!!!!!!

the ass grabbing? yes it's a very Alex move but mate there's people right behind you

okay but truthfully? seriously? i love this fucking book. i know to most readers it's a silly little romcom with some politics on the side. and that's what we should expect from the film. but to me? this is my favourite fucking book of all time. it was the one that if I became a film director or producer i would have adored to produce. both henry and alex are my comfort gays, but in ways that not many people realise or connect with.

alex realises he's bi in the book. i realised i was bi a few days before reading the book. everything he goes through i related to hard. and having that, that connection to someone who isn't real but very much could be was a godsend through a period of a lot of confusion.

henry lost his dad to pancreatic cancer a few years before the book. i lost my dad to a brain tumour when i was eleven. it will be ten years this year, and the movie comes out a week before his anniversary. that passage where Bea so beatifully describes his grief, the one that begins with 'it happens when you're young' made me sob so much because that's exactly what it feels like. i relate to these characters, i love their little quirks and details. and it's a bit disappointing the changes that have happened as it's adapted to film.

and i know it can't be directly faithful, that there are some things you can't fit in because you have a certain runtime. i know also that the executive producers and companies have a say in how it goes. but there were better ways to change it, better ways to do it rather than handing it over to a streaming service.

this book is so important to me, so i hope at least that when the film does come out on the 11th of August that i will at least kind of enjoy it. i know it won't be what i wished it would be, but at least it's being made.

and who knows, maybe no one will touch boyfriend material and i could make that instead XD

[convxction]

ooc. because of replaying and rewatching abyss made me think of .. if plegia got the whole we gonna 'make our god' sort of thing since valentia's days (looking at you asshole forneus) they def made the whole 'copies/ replicas' and that sort of. hold my chaotic brain. it is cooking weird stuff.

but think about actual avatar copies in the castle, maybe mindless puppets no soul because we know our avatar homie got the soul and gwima pew pew, maybe some turned to risens, maybe idk here and there but like they are unrecognizable due to their lets say degrading and stuff (you wouldnt tell it is avatar because of how they look whoops.) maybe the grimleal were like uh oh. we are about to go down so we should erase them (aka feed them to gwima oopssyyy.)

but another thought was like we didnt get confirmation that the ylissean army got the papa krumb back right? so .......COULD THEY HAVE HIS BODY AND LIKE EWIUEHEUEUEHEU LETS MAKE A COPY SO WE CAN USE HIS BRAND TOO AND LIKE MAKE A SUPER PUPPET SOLDIER TO COUNTER THE NAGA WORHSIPNAPERS. hold my hand im still thinking about that jerk who tricked cynthia. IMAGINE THAT JERK WAS A KRUMB COPY? OR HIS FATHER BUT LIKE ...rouge. he escaped and was like u know imma do my thing XD i know that part was supposed to be a joke for cynthia's story but come on they should've made the guy at least ...look like krumbino. he does not look anything like him and it hurts cynthia's character i and wont stand without doing anything! my girl is ....good. questionable brain cells but she is good. at least it wouldn't make sense she falls for someone like that. like come on she could ask to his brand. no one can fake that brand my dude even as a tattoo. i feel like no tattoo could compare to the real brand. i feel like i got distracted. back to what i was thinking. or i think i was thinking. the brain is not braining my dude.

it would be cool to have avatar replica, whether got a soul and personality of its own, or not. avatar could come to the 'oh. that could be me. im lucky. i should value this life i have now. HENCE WHY I SHOULD YEET MYSELF TO GRIMA WEEEE'

maybe krumb replica! as i hc that he do look like his father the expectation is his father got somewhat baby face and he is the luigi death stare at you. lmao.

me throwing the EYEHUEUEHE EMMERYN BUT THAT SPOT PASS IS JUST .............never mind.

i never stop thinking about the deadlords and how they are krumb and his crew (l.ucina said it and i take her words for it.) i wonder if it is grima's attempt in that fallen world to make them risens but then like with his death or idk the whole parallel world thingy they regained some ....idk 'will'? regret of their passing away without fulfilling their goal--offing da lizard.

basically im a ho who gets obsessed with one idea and runs with it and now i want to inflict pain and suffering on krumb because who ese would i do that to, huh? it is his fault for being the easy to go muse in my brain. your fault blue man. i want a krumb replica. and no, isaac not you. stay safe my homie. stay safe or lucina and hope will murderize me.

gah. like do you know how twisted things can get? the guy just waltz and probably trick some people and some of the crew and just eyo that is a fake guy over there. faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakerrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

and kurmb like: huh ? ? ? ? cynthia: *triggered* sumia and cordelia: le shock frederick: on the case to figure out who is his lord so he set the other on fire lissa: *one thought: two chroms? heck yeah more to prank--wait this is serious oh no~ she can sniff the replica with ease watch her* avatar: *traumatized*

listen if anyone can tell the replica from the real is rebecca XDD his wife just take a look at the two of them: mmm yeah thats not my man. i can shoot him right? and chrom in a corner falling for her again: wow... but how? ALL REBECCA GOTTA DO IS CALL CHROM 'DADDY' and ofc we know krumb went to UGE and he knows what does 'daddy' mean and he just cringe like he never cringed before. probably covering his ears like NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH STAAAAAAAAAAAHP THATS UUUGGHHHHH!!!!

i feel like i never once make a sense when i write these my brain tells me posts lmao. anyway. replicas. excuse me to bother ppl with this then. hmu if you want a copy.

battle of the century. krumb vs no brand krumb vs replica krumb vs rkc ....eheeheighgeheguegheugehgehgeugehgegegeigehge bye.

[bitchofdarkness]

@mochacake2016 looks like a church to me. the door at the back, the benches. even the decoration on the wall looks like crosses. The colorful glass for the door on the left side. On further inspection, when Sergeant Kim wakes up, he looks like he unwillingly fell asleep. So maybe Eun-hyeok only found him there after he managed to make it out of Bamseom. And if we remember correctly, Sang-won and the thugs in s1 spoke of a church they came across, so it might be close to the facility.

gonna address some other things you said under the cut:

As for the part about a photo on twitter, I don't have twitter, so Idk xDD

Also, yes, wholeheartedly believe Dr. Lim would do anything to see what happens. He doesn't give two shits about humans or monsters, he just wants to watch like a voyeur or maybe even turn into a monster himself. he's super fascinated with that whole process and can't comprehend how it happens, where it's rooted and if it's even preventable. Which drove his scientist self mad. I don't think he ever had a cure to begin with. He only said that so he could safely experiment to his hearts content xD

Yes, it was Seok-chan who was held up by some creepy as boy with glasses and a striped shirt. He reminded me of Dennis the Menace xD Sgt Kim was held down by the girl, but not hurt fatally.

I can't stand MS Tak, he is unable to communicate properly, which is dangerous given the position he has. He is the one who ordered Sergeant Kim and the others to kill all monsters, only to then do a 180 and change his agenda. I was mad at Yeong-hu for how he treated the baby monster, but in retrospect, he did only what he was supposed to do and that's why he got angry with Tak in ep1 when he saw he spared the baby monster, because he KNEW the mother monster was harmless as well, but Tak said nothing to keep her alive. I can't stand those types of people who just do as they please and not keep their word or even fail to address changes at a timely manner.

Yeah, in the webtoon Sang-wook (the real one) was a damn detective, not a hitman. Him and Yu-ri survived, both children survived as well, Jae-heon died pretty early on and whatever was between him and Ji-su wasn't really romantic. The biggest shippy vibes I got was between Hyun-su and Ji-su, not Hyun-su and Eun-yu. Hell, even Eun-Hyeok had more chemistry in a shippy sense with Hyun-su xD so there's that. Then Sang-won never possessed anyone (dunno if he even existed, neither Yi-kyung a thing), the dude that was like him in the Webtoon was just part of the thugs that came to Green Home. Du-sik didn't try to stop Hyun-su, he fought him and it was Eun-hyeok who stopped him from killing anyone in the end. That slime monster was a child that had hidden from the monsters after watching his mom die by a monsters hand. It saved the boy and befriended him because it was also a child. They should've conveyed that to drive the point home that some monsters are harmless.

Jae-hwan already turned into that horrid monster while they were still in the Green Home Mansion xD Also, they completely disregarded why Hyun-su managed to stay human for so long (holding onto the possibility to watch Maria From The Sky). They also took Eun-hyeok's nickname on the internet "Crucru" and made it the name of the "curse".

Idk, a lot of that was changed and that's probably why I get pissed when other people start whining about season 2 being DiFfErEnT than season 1 and super different from the webtoon....like....bro they basically told the entire webtoons story in season 1 already xD wtf did they expect?? Of course it'll be different and have different characters, plots and povs. Sorry, but sometimes I'm not able to stand so much stupidity anymore. People are so entitled and DUMB nowadays, they don't even really watch the media they consume, they just complain when it's not the special made stuff they wish it was. That's what fanworks are for xD

Sweet Home 3 glimpses 👀 subtitles by yours truly

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to Guiltrip!

Alright, so this one is a bit more of a serious one for me. But I'll be going in order of the episode so the more serious talk will be a bit further down! First thing we get is this lovely moment:

I've already addressed it in a post, but I'll say it again here. Guiltrip is episode 11, several episodes take place before Guiltrip that we haven't seen yet, so this is awhile after Marinette and Luka broke up. We also know that Marinette has always had feelings for Adrien, even when she was with Luka. Luka always knew that fact too. None of this is new and is to be expected, obviously, when Love Square is endgame. But! I also want to point out here that this is just a soft look. Very gentle, very common. I see people looking at each other both in real life and in other shows all the time. A look that says "I adore you". And I think it's sweet! Very subtle, but enough. Something's wrong with Rose. We never get told (in this episode anyway) what it is, but it's a chronic illness that's a worry in Rose's life, ever since she was young. I feel really bad for Juleka, knowing that her friend's been struggling with an illness, and whenever something happens she has to worry about it alone. Also that really sucks when you try to cheer somebody up and make a joke, that because you were mislead about a situation you end up making things worse. Poor Marinette. :c Adrien when he realizes he's bumped into someone (and the pink bubbles to remind us of Marinette's feelings for him):

Adrien when he realizes just who it was he bumped into!:

Scroll up now and look at how Marinette was looking at Adrien earlier that day. It's the exact same look. Yet, something feels different from usual to me, idk. But continuing on. Marinette gets slightly jumbled with her words, but manages to give herself a kick and says nope not now! Good for her! You can't expect to change overnight, but she's working on it.

She looks to the side, gathering her surroundings for a split second and she misses the top step. I'd like to say that this is just a joke for the show but well, this kind of thing has happened to me a lot because I'm that much of a klutz so I feel for her here. (On Halloween I forgot that there was another step as I was walking down as I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't walk on my foot for 2 weeks. It's a serious problem, guys. Really. xDD) Marinette had told Adrien she's concerned it was something she said that upset Juleka and Adrien tells her while sometimes she doesn't make sense, what she says is never mean. This scene reminds me of when Ladybug's worried about something and Chat Noir's there to keep her grounded and remind her of how things really are. I very much appreciate seeing such a scene with Adrienette! Makes the Love Square much more rounded. Also the way he stops her and says let him go talk to her to try to help the situation and any possible misunderstandings from taking place. ;-;

Can I just say... oh my gosh. He went from determined, to hearing Marinette trying to comfort her, to looking with confidence "This girl is amazing." and the whole Ladynoir vibe I'm getting from this scene makes me happy. The thing that's unrealistic about this scene though is you expect to tell me that 8 kids went down those stairs and came up behind them and Marinette, Adrien, and Juleka didn't hear? XD Now here's where the serious comes in. Rose is hospitalized with an illness we don't know about, but has been a long-term thing that has Juleka really worried a lot. That must be so stressful :c I'm going to be honest and say I never really saw Julerose romantically. Like I can see how people do, but to me, I could see that their bond was really unique. It didn't really fit completely in the "BFF" category either. But if felt like there was more to them that I didn't really understand. I think the best example off the top of my head was during Zombizou, when Rose was going to help Chloe after she slid down Chat's stick and she went too fast for him to catch her. Juleka seemed especially worried and concerned for her. Rose never seemed to get concerned about Juleka in the same way Juleka was about Rose. Juleka's always been more protective and worried and it was always one of those things that made me go "hmm, interesting". Now this episode finally explains why and I'm honestly super glad for it. Because this kind of a relationship is not a common one in media, especially kids media. Partially because having such serious illnesses in young people is not particularly common, and having someone who's so caring and protective of that person is even less common. And most people probably don't realize how amazing it is to have health problems and then have someone in their life who acts like Juleka does for Rose. I had a life-threatening illness as a kid, one that still affects me greatly today. When in school, my friends knew about it without me having to say anything unfortunately, and while they didn't usually treat me differently, sometimes they were pretty ignorant and didn't understand why I wasn't "normal" like them. They asked questions that were harder ones to answer, and tended to forget my answers. I got a lot of "I know you have X problem but I still don't see why you can't..." as well as thinking I was lying if I said I wasn't well and couldn't go to a party, and that was hard to deal with, being limited in what you can do which makes you different and being judged for things out of your control. So seeing these kids who only know something's wrong with her, but are willing to do so much to make her life better and happier, not judging her at all, wanting to take care of her no questions asked was really heart-warming for me. I only had one friend during that time that was anything close to this. I never had to explain anything to him if I didn't want to. He never asked me personal questions I didn't want to answer. And he seemed to know what he could do to make things for me easier if I was having a hard time without me ever saying so. And this is another reminder to me that this show is aimed at kids. To show kids that they'll likely encounter someone around their age that's going through something serious like a health problem, and what that kid needs most is kindness and not to be made to feel like they're even more different from the other kids than they already feel. The way they handled that aspect of it for such a short, limited intro to it, I think they did good. I discussed this next bit with a friend. She mentioned it first, the trope where those with chronic or serious illnesses are usually an "inspiration". With this episode, you kind of get the feeling that because Rose's been through so much, she's therefore a really positive and bubbly person and it kind of gives off the vibe that if you don't view things the way she does, then you're not doing it right. "What matters isn't the problem, but how you handle it." While I agree with this, and that when you come out of or regularly deal with

such hard times, automatically trying to see the world better and brighter can easily happen, but it's not exactly realistic either, at least not to the extent Rose and other people the media has portrayed. For one, I think you have to have always been more of that kind of person from the start to realistically be so positive. As my friend said and I agree, positivity is just who Rose is, she's not who she is just for the sake of a trope. But honestly, when you've gone through something so difficult, and if life continues to throw you more difficulties on top of it, being positive so much can sometimes turn into a negative and be harmful too. When you've been through a lot, it's important to allow yourself to feel the negative too because it's part of dealing with such problems. And if you've been through a lot in life and you haven't come out of it being all sunshine and rainbows, always looking on the brighter side of things, that's perfectly okay. Life's hard and tends not to work out how we'd like, or even for the better sometimes. If being positive and hopeful after struggling is hard to do, you're not bad or wrong for feeling that way, everybody handles things differently. c: ANYWAY, moving on to the rest of the episode! Juleka being all irritated and worried that the class was going to expose her spilling Rose's secret xD While the situation isn't ideal, it's nice that this is the most involved she's seemed with everyone in the entire duration of the show. But Rose knows something's up, and I love that she talks to her about it and realizes that she should've told everyone herself instead of Juleka being the only one who knew. Which has been such a burden on her. (Oh no, what if this is a reflection of Alya knowing Marinette's Ladybug later on? I'm hoping not.) Ugh these children and how much they care about Rose! These kids are the absolute best. But then they kind of ruin it a little with going overboard. Which, frankly, I think is just ignorance of her situation really. I mean, we don't know what exactly is wrong with Rose. Just that she ends up in the hospital. If they knew about her condition, what causes her to get sick, what to look out for, etc, they'd be much more informed and much less likely to be frantic whenever something's not perfectly "normal" with her. All of these kids are going to be overprotective parents someday, aren't they?

Okay so like... are Adrien and Marinette going to question at all how Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up immediately after Juleka was akumatized, and no damage had happened outside of the school for it to be known to the public? Literally the only ones that could've possibly known were the class to have shown up that fast. ??? I am confusion. "I can't help my best friend face his father." "No, Nino..." Two things: The fact that THIS is what he's feeling guilty about? My poor Nino! Dx I just love him, he really doesn't get enough love and appreciation imo. Also, um, isn't Ladybug like right by Chat? Didn't she hear that? What? Idk but I feel like we're really missing something here. Usually we get things that are kind of hints, that make us wonder if they know right, but this? This is a bit too blaring-in-your-face, and there's two major things so close together. Really strange. Chat about to use Cataclysm on himself. Good grief that was not expected. Chat Blanc threatened to destroy himself along with everything else. Now Chat Noir while affected with negative emotions from an akuma almost Cataclysmed himself. This show really is getting deep and dark isn't it. o.o Also is there something Adrien needs to work out with someone...? Daizzi and Rose saying the other's so cute, ugh they're both so cute! And Pigella's costume and transformation is so adorable omg. Okay so Pigella's power allows people to see their biggest wish, the thing that'd make them the most happy and feel positive emotions. I know some people probably think "That's it?" Considering that Shadow Moth preys on people's negative emotions, such a power is actually extremely useful facing Shadow Moth. (And let's not forget, that while that's her power, she has the ability to fight and make a difference just from being transformed too) BUT AWWW Juleka's wish! And her face when Pigella said it aloud. ;-; Am I the only one wondering if Pigella may someday use her power on Shadow Moth and that's how they learn his motive? I'm so impressed with how Rose knew how to handle everything. She knew she can't slip up with Juleka. She knew to sneak away to detransform and come back as Rose. She knew to subtly give the Miraculous back so nobody would ever know she had it. Even Chat Noir had no idea! I don't know why, I'm just so very proud of that. "She doesn't need a Miraculous to be a superhero." She really has the characteristics of one, and I can't wait to see more of Pigella. Also I'm really wondering. This scene here:

All the kids that are part of that friend group are there...except Marinette and Adrien, of course. Alya knows why Marinette isn't there. But is she wondering about why Adrien isn't there too? LOL Marinette being like "I'm taking your pillow back, sorry! Gotta wait for it like everyone else." and the boys being like LE GASP. Marinette's right, she's not fragile! The fact Rose jokes with her and makes everyone laugh, and Chloe saying "Hey, why doesn't everyone laugh when I say something like that?!" Adrien: Because in your case, it's never a joke. Chloe: Hm, that's true. Which is super funny, especially how he just so casually says it. But also it really shows again how Chloe wants to be liked. She wishes the kids would laugh when she makes comments, but it's because they're said in a serious/obnoxious way, instead of making light of something like in Rose's case here, that they don't. I know she talked about it with Ladybug in an episode, but it again shows that that's what she'd like. All that needs to happen is someone helping her get there. Maybe Zoe and Luka will somehow help with that later on. Anyway, this was a really great episode! I feel like some things might not make quite as much sense as they should if we got it in order, but what can you do when Gloob has to air them? Even a friend of mine who's been doing what she can to avoid spoilers, still got spoiled. She's having to delete tumblr to avoid future spoilers because people can't help themselves and tag things properly. So thanks Gloob. :P All we wanted was the episodes in order. We've waited this long for S4, we can wait a bit longer. But they gotta make money I guess. I'm glad other countries are trying their best to keep it in order anyway. c: Guiltrip also has some really great Adrienette moments, and covered a more serious topic which was really interesting and shows how much the show's changing. Especially with some of the choice of camera angles and movements! Like the zoom-in on the door with Adrien and Marinette, the boys LE GASP scene. Very cool artistic choices! Looking forward to the episodes that come before this one to try to help fill in some of the gaps! And apologies to those that frequently read these posts from me, I started writing it up late and couldn't finish so you get it the day after instead. xD

[laufire]

last night I went to a showing of En los márgenes (the English title is "On The Fringe"). it's a film mainly focused on the eviction problem in Spain, although it also touches other issues -immigration, social services, job insecurity, etc. I liked it a lot; it was very real and gutting (especially when you know other than the main characters the people in the Stop Desahucios organisation shown are actually part of it irl and those are their stories), but that's beside the point. mainly it's one of those films I leave wanting to have a long talk with the director lol.

(spoilers ahead, obviously. I do recommend watching the film and I'm of the opinion spoilers don't ruin good things, but YMMV)

said director, btw, is Juan Diego Botto. some of you in Tumblr might know him from Good Behavior? it wasn't too popular around here, I don't think, but I have seen people talk about it at least. he played a killer for hire next to Michelle Dockery's con artist thief xD

anyway. as I said. I wanna talk to him about it. after we spent probably a good hour or two expanding on the most important parts of the film, like the housing problem and social welfare and community outreach, and then a brief detour where I tell him I like him in Good Behavior but I like Dockery better xD, I REALLY want to pick his brain about what are his thoughts on husbands and fathers (and men in families in general) because I gotta say, I felt VERY in-sync with this film on that regard LMAO.

first of all, I'm very amused by the role he gave himself. I get why he wouldn't play the salt of the earth activist lawyer since that might've been too big a part to do while directing (plus like, if you have Luis Tosar as an actor that was clearly HIS part. now, why isn't he one of the ugly old balding celebrity man I find on the streets. he's a TALENTED ugly old balding celebrity man at least). but he could've just as easily played that poor woman's son, whose story was more tragic and a tad more sympathetic, and who at least ended the movie desperately trying to right his wrongs.

but nope! he played the part of a husband whose wounded pride was completely screwing his wife and son, instead of actually supporting them. he didn't even get to kiss Penelope Cruz about it xD. I kinda expected the character to get a redeeming moment at the end, like joining his wife and Stop Desahucios when they're fighting the cops to stop his family's eviction, but we just have a moment with him looking at them from afar with an :O expression. we don't know if he's still ashamed they need their help and that he still thinks what his wife is doing is "an embarrassment", or if he's finally touched by the show of support, or what.

now I want to discuss the lawyer because his character really hammered home one of the principles I firmly believe in, which is that even arguably good men make for shitty husband's and disappointing father figures in our society xDD. like I said he was played by Luis Tosar, which automatically makes me a little more lenient, I can't deny that (OTOH boy, did the character remind me of my own father aldjskk. that balanced it a little!). and yes, he tries to help people in need, and helps that immigrant mother whose daughter the cops took away. and looking at the bigger picture, which IS my default position, that's more important than the stepson's trip and MAYBE even than the wife having company in that medical procedure, although that part was really shitty... but maybe in that case you shouldn't try to be a Family Man if you aren't wired that way, or make promises you can't fucking keep as the stepson accuses him of (when the wife told him at the beginning that he should've warned her she was going to have to deal with the pregnancy alone... fuck him etc.).

I also feel more lenient about him than about Botto's character because the story ends with the wife kicking him out lmao. she doesn't even discuss it with him or gives him a chance to talk it out, she just leaves a suitcase on the street next to the apartment. it was glorious xD. he and the stepson have a nice progression and end on a good note, with the son telling him to be around (and hey, maybe he'll actually keep that promise...), but the wife said "enough" and it took, which I love. and I appreciate how the film made the point a couple of times to say SHE was the one bringing home more money, and that's why she COULD kick him out and be fine. something that subtly contrasts with the marriage between Cruz and Botto's characters, which ends on a bad note but doesn't definitely end, because that's not an option for her.

there's also the other story, with the old woman whose son is too ashamed to have screwed up once to be there for his widowed mother until it's probably too late. that one was absolutely gutting too, and gendered in a different, less usual way.

I'm just rambling at this point but TL;DR: even married women are single mothers. motherhood is a thankless tragedy. men's pride has a body count. very in-sync, as I said lol. Juan Diego Botto let's discuss this. I want to know how much of this is conscious thought or whether you'd feel defensive about it xD

[pannacottawarrior]

sgjotbhvoypyrefoybug djiydsupsbjtcnl i really should've done those replies earlier instead of after midnight DXX

[shinwhoohoo]

So I'm the whole "Baro radio silence" anon and I really appreciate the thought you put into the response. I definitely overreacted about the whole thing, and I'm sorry I had to make you answer another negative Baro ask. I guess I kinda just expect him to be on jinyoungs level where he isn't concerned about anything but his own success (at least it seems like it), but really I should've realized that Baro isn't like that. It's way too easy to get worked up over this when A3 looks so sad sometimes

nah no worries~

i guess it was… nice(?) to talk about Baro for a change instead of Jinyoung XDD

I just think Baro has a lot more (valid) reasons to back up him wanting to leave WM vs. Jinyoung, and I think that it also says a lot to his character that he’s basically ‘staying in his lane’ focusing just on acting, which is something he’s ALWAYS said he wanted to do– let’s not forget that Baro actually got scouted by WM while he was preparing to enroll in ChunGang University specifically for acting– so he’s staying true to what he always wanted to do; while Jinyoung is like going on hyper speed in every which way intially teasing music for ‘J.Ground’, then doing movies, web dramas, tv shows and fanmeets, like damn son. 

But I get it, seeing A3 so sad and wanting to take your emotions out on Baro or Jinyoung (or both) is something I can understand and empathize with, but the bottom line is while we can express ourselves (and trust me, I had no issues with your prior ask in and of itself) it’s just important to remember to try and express ourselves in a kind manner~ 

(sorry I’m coming off as very mom-like and I’m not trying to, I swear~~ lmao)

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

NOPE

NOPE

NOPE. NOPE :)

NOPE

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sadder than I have ever been

Okay that's exaggerating but

With a tv show one of the saddest xd

A MEMORIALLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I AM NOT OKAY

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU SHAUN

I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU BUT I DO NOT CARE

Okay okay I can calm down

About that at least

I swear Shaun if you focus on other stuff even to avoid your pain I will die

Yeah I get it Lea :'(( that sucks

And yeah I am sorry Shaun xd

Yeah

Ope???

WHAT THE HECK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

OH GOSH that's awful o.o

Lim????

Uhhh not this time xdd 😭😭💔

Oh noooo :'(((

Bro he literally can't operate xd

Oh gosh this is all so chaotic 😭😭💔 not good stuff xd

Not gonna lie kinda angry that we have a big event to be focusing on when Asher literally just died but maybe it'll help distract me xd

Well

The Good news is

The Rookie couldn't possible go worse

Knock on wood

I'm just sitting here in silence

My gosh

Huh

Wow

Gosh xd

Okay, that's the last my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

. . .

I really loved this episode!! I don't think I can ever watch it again xdd

sigh

I want to do this while my emotions are fresh (and it'll distract me) but also I don't know if I can bear to

Especially sitting here (not literally) in the emotions of it all

Maybe a quick one

Idk

He deserves better than that though also xd

Maybe quick with a longer one later?

. . . I want to just go forget about it

But I think I need to process it

Because I'm still shocked and denial

I genuinely did enjoy this episode. I thought it was really well done, and I really liked the storylines in it. And, even though I am absolutely heartbroken, I'm glad Asher at least had good final moments, and the drama his death deserved.

Here's what I'll say about what I knew.

This morning, I woke up and saw and article along the lines of "'The Good Doctor' kills of lead. . ." or something along those lines. I quickly swiped it out of the way and stressed xd. Later, another one came (and here's the surprising part that I did not mention earlier, I believe in my review of last episode) that said something similar, "'The Good Doctor' kills of. . ." (something along those lines) and then, under that, something like "Related to: Jerome Martel". Genuinely, the most likely thing I expected was for Jerome to die. I later saw another article that I quickly avoided sight wise, then covered as I scrolled by down to swipe the notification away. And I glimpsed a picture and Asher and Jerome. I really thought Jerome might die.

I'm glad he survived xd.

But I also believe I thought to myself "I'd rather anyone else. I mean, not Asher, or" and then basically thought of "okay I don't want anyone to die" xd.

Hh.

It's been 25 minutes since I finished the episode xd.

Gosh

Okay, a few quick things about other people

So, I guess,

Onto the individual parts

Dom! Missed you today buddy ❤️. Sure you're slaying, see you again soon :).

Shaun and Lea! Oof on the what's-it-called-ing Steve xd. It's rough and I think they may want to let up sometimes but hopefully it helps them <3. I also hope the complaint doesn't affect Shaun too much, but at the same time, he has been treating Charlie unfairly. Anyway, love them.

Charlie! Segway xd. I feel bad for her. She genuinely was doing really good, and she just made a mistake at the wrong moment. I think Shaun should've been calmed, but I do think she needed to learn that that was not the moment to ask. It sucks, I hate the feeling of being told that I need to stop because someone's trying to focus and I just made a mistake. But she needed to, and I think this is an iffy thing to push her over the edge and make a report. At least I hope the report is on other things, not that specific event. She had some good moments this episode though, love her.

Park! Not too much going on, but he slayed on the case :). It sucks the way it turned out for the patients :(. Also, him at the wedding was sweet :')). Love him <3.

Morgan! Again, not too much, though her conversation with Lim was hilarious lol. Poor Lim in that conversation xD. Of course Morgan's hears all the tea though lol. I also like that she defended Charlie sharing her story :). Anyway, she slayed <3. Love her.

Kalu! He slayed today too :)). Glad that he too- well, not really defended Charlie, but was kinda on her side sometimes. Like they said, they're looking out for the interns :')). I really liked the bit where he quickly explained and she was cool with that - I think it just shows that she can be worked with, if you put in the effort and listen and be patient. Anyway, love him <3.

Glassman and Lim! I'm glad they worked everything out in the end, and that it did help Lim with her mom :'). I'm thinking this was mainly for that, and also so Glassman can have someone to be with in the last season. I still think it was a funky thing to do xd, but I'm glad they're happy lol. And I think it's good what he told Lim, that she can start getting closer with her mom :')). And I'm so sorry for Lim, that she and Clay broke up :((. Her line about being alone nearly broke me (though don't worry, I just had to wait for later for that) 😭❤️. I'm glad it's hopefully going to get better <3. Love them :).

Jordan! Didn't notice till she showed up that she hadn't been there, but I'm really bad at noticing that xd. I thought it was a cool way, a good scene and stuff, of working her in :). And her advice to and conversation with Asher was so good :'DD. I do wish she was here, considering what the episode was and how close and Asher are, but I'm glad we got to focus on his relationship with Jerome. And that at least she was still here ❤️. Love her <3.

So. It's time. I'm going to talk about the rest of the episode first, and then say a little bit. Then, I'm going to go cry a bit more probably, maybe have emo thoughts, and distract myself before I go to bed xd.

Asher and Jerome!! Y'allll I loved the content we got for them this episode :'DD. I mean I hate a fight but, hey, I love angst too lol 👀 xD. Still, I love any screen time for them <3. I certainly didn't agree with Asher's wildin opinions in the beginning xD, but I was still having a fun time. And I'm glad everything worked out (regarding the fight and that stuff). Asher helping with the wedding was so sweet 😭😭😭💔❤️❤️🥺🥰. And the talk he had with the rabbi :'DD :')). I loved that, I know that feeling <3. Also AAAHHHHH their kiss after the wedding 😭😭🥺❤️. I'm not okay <3. At least they got a kiss at a wedding :')). Where the arch thing was and everything xd. Random note that I mentioned in the liveblog, I love that they cook together so much. Anyway, AAAHHHHHH JEROME WAS GOING TO PROPOSE!! HE WAS HIDING THE RING!!! AAAAAHHHHHH :DDDD WHOO 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎉🎂🎂🎂🎂!! Asher found it too 🥰🥰🥰. He was stressing, aww poor babey <33 :'(, but I'm glad he finally made peace with it and made his decision :')). Also, regarding. . . everything, I'm glad that he knew <3. Also, Asher immediately going to get Jerome a bandaid was so good <3. Loved it :')). They were seriously so good this episode, it was great :'D. I love them so much <333.

Now.

The stuff xd

I was freaking out at the end. Until that yelling (even for a half second into it), I thought it would be Jerome. I was honestly terrified as well that it was a mislead and it still would be. But even more scared for Asher.

I like that he came full circle. I think he deserved that. Deserves.

I read a few articles after finishing the episode, and one, I think something from a writer, said "His last line is "I am a Jew. A gay one, too, and I'm calling the cops" " (or something like that). That he finally truly accept both parts of himself. I'm really proud of him for that, and I'm glad that's how it ended for him <33. It also makes me think of how his literal first line was about that very thing. He grew up Hasidic, before he decided that "if there was a God, He was nothing but a cruel being that I held nothing but contempt for". Then he says "That's when I started going to medical school. And also dating men". Or, something along those lines for all of that. I like the symmetry.

I do appreciate the commentary of it being a hate crime. We as queer people, and Jewish people (though I am not Jewish) are still facing so much bigotry. But I do kinda of wish that I didn't have to see it in the show as well. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I like to just feel that catharsis, and sometimes I just want to see the good sides. That it's not a tragedy.

Like I've already said though, I do appreciate that it got the drama it deserved. Asher went out fighting for what's right, accepting himself, and standing up for people. That's kind of what he's always been about :'). He also went out with an episode that focused largely on him and his journey, along with his relationship, and he got a good music moment at the end lol. Not to mention the angst of it all. And, of course, in the next episode his funeral. Though I do wish there wasn't a huge emergency as well. But (especially with the description specifically saying they'll all be dealing with their personal tragedy as well), it should be interesting to see at least. And again, it'll distract me and then xd. I just think it would also be interesting to see them trying to go through their normal lives as if this huge thing didn't just happen.

Also, something more lighthearted lol, imagine being at a funeral and then half the guests get up and leave 💀. Even knowing they're doctors it's awkward xD, especially since they're some of the people who cared the most about him (😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️). But it's like, that's what happens when you're a doctor xD. I just find it kind of funny lol.

Anyway. I think, if he had to die, Asher went out the best way he could here. At least he was fighting for something, unlike the tragedy of Melendez's pointless death. It's still absolutely heartbreaking, but that does bring some comfort <3.

Also, in those articles, I saw that the reason Asher was killed off is apparently because Noah Galvin wanted to move on from the show.

I love you sir but I am kinda angry xD.

Nah but for real, I do understand it, and I'm happy he gets/got to go back home and stuff, but I am like ". . . it's the last season" xD. Maybe he asked before it was cancelled lol, I don't know. If that's the case that kinda upset some more, because he might have been willing to stay for just like 5-19 more episodes xd. Anyway, slightly salty about that lol (how could you do this to me Mr. Galvin <33 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️ :')) :'(( ), but I am happy for him. And he's had a great run on this show, as has Asher <33.

. .

I want to say a little bit.

I know I've said a lot xd, but something specific.

I wish Asher was still alive.

I know that's obvious, and it makes sense, but there's layers to it xd. Yes, he was my favorite characters (nearly said one of lol - he is, but my favorite in the show). Is, that is. Yeah, correcting the opposite way of what you'd expect there lol. Anyway. Yes, he was my favorite, and I absolutely wanted him and Jerome to get married. It was something I was sad about missing with the cancellation, but apparently we could have had it (which I did think of earlier xd). Or at least the engagement xd. We really tried on that one lol - we were so close xd. But, I also just wanted him to live. And I wanted to continue seeing him xd :(((. I still do.

But beyond all that, Asher means something to me. Every character in anything I love does, but he is a very specific character.

He's a character I don't have anywhere else.

We are not exactly the same. But I don't think I can express the importance to me of a queer religious character. Even though he scorned religion, even though he was no longer practicing, it meant something to me. I said a lot, especially in this episode, that I understand it. I do. I understand questioning if you can live your life in your religion and be queer. I understand doing more research than most cishet people ever have to do, finding the scriptures that cry your acceptance and not your punishment. I have watched my religious community on Tumblr receive disgusting death threats because of what we believe. I have heard my religion made fun of my friends. I have fought to defend myself and my culture and my beliefs at every turn, from queer people and religious people and people in between. I have hidden and kept quiet because I was scared.

I am very proud of Asher for what he did.

And I hope that, if I were in the same situation, I wouldn't hesitate.

But especially after an episode where I was starting to see a character that I could maybe relate to even more. A queer character who wanted to keep religion in his life, who was going to maybe re-explore it. After that, I mourn him even more.

There will never be another character that can replace Asher for me. And that, at least, is an honor to him.

Thank you Noah Galvin for giving us this beautiful, wonderful character over all these years. About 3 or 4 now, gosh xd. I truly appreciate it, more than you could ever know.

And I thank you to the writers and everyone else on The Good Doctor. Even if I am not happy with Asher's death, I have been given storylines of him for 4 seasons. I miss him already, but at least I have the time we had <333.

Asher is a passionate, strong-willed, brave, often inexperienced, and caring character. All of that is a part of him, and all of it is important to me. I love him so much 😭😭😭💔❤️ <3. And there is truly not another character like him :'). I will truly miss him, so, so much <33.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. I also despised it with my entire being and will not be able to rewatch that horrific ending for years xd. But I'm glad he got what he did, plot wise and drama wise. I know I've already said it a thousand times, but Asher deserves that. He deserves drama, horrific, even if I do want him to have nothing but happiness. He deserves that, he deserves to live, but he deserves to go out with the importance that he had, and I'm glad he did <3. I understand losing someone close, and I am absolutely devastated for everyone else as well :'((. I'm scared and kind of excited (for the angst and the catharsis lol) to see how everyone reacts and copes next episode. If they show me the immediate aftermath I will die, but I will love it. I will also despise it, so I'm glad that I don't think they will xd. Loves everyone this episode, I hope the Shaun and Charlie stuff gets worked out soon, and I'm glad the Lim and Glassman stuff started getting sorted out <33. And you know what? I'll say it. Asher and Jerome got engaged :')). I'm so happy for them <3. AAAHHHHH YAYY WHOOOO 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎂🎂🎂🥰😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰🥰. Because I can celebrate their love if I dang want to. I'm gonna miss them so much <333 😭😭😭😭🥺💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️. Nonetheless, it was a really good episode. I really loved Asher planning the wedding and the conversion ceremony, it was just so sweet of him to do that :'). And seeing him connect with his roots was great <3. I'm glad the ending- no autocorrect. no. . . lol. I'm glad the wedding worked out :). Everyone was great this episode <3.

So yeah! I absolutely loved this episode, it was so amazing. I also hate it and will never forgive it and them lol. Still, I'm hanging onto that engagement! I am so devastated and excited for the next episode. This has been my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 5: Who at Peace

It was so beautiful. The next episode looks super interesting, and emotional, so I am excited to see it! I think it'll be really good. I'll be back here next week with my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 6: M. C. E.

See you next week!

[pannacottawarrior]

"It's okay, sometimes you just need time to get comfortable enough to tell people things."

dude it's almost been a year and i literally still physicallly choke on my words whenever i try to talk to you and other friends about this shit and start actually crying and feel like i'm getting nowhere in recovery because at those moments i feel like killing myself all over again lmao that ain't normal