#arti rambles

[artisplatters]

RAMBLE ALERT

this hellhole of a week is such an ironic time to have a manic episode I think this is what it is, maybe it's just a random spike of motivation

anyway woke up at 4, scrolled tiktok for 30 mins, and then my brain says "hey I wanna clean" so I'm just like "???? okay" and put on ST. CHROMA (extended intro) on loop

now my room is almost spotless when it had been a literal garbage dump before (large piles of trash kind of literal), I brushed my teeth for the first time in a few months (gross I know), painted my nails for the first time since I think last autumn/winter (black, debating blue shimmer overcoat), and am about to go make breakfast now that the sun's coming up

this is all happened in the last 1.4 hours

I'm probably gonna crash around noon but y'know i've already done like 100x more today than I usually do in a day Maybe I should've seen this coming when I banged out 3 fully-colored pieces yesterday

nice change of pace after feeling nauseous and dead tired the last few days

[artisplatters]

yeah

bees are, obviously, very social creatures. They can't really survive without their hivemates, even if all their other needs are met. And there's about 20,000 to 80,000 bees in your average hive. Then the queen bee is about twice as large as the regular bees, so a queen bee scaled up in comparison to the drawing above would be maybe half a foot taller than the girl, if the girl was standing.

Then, the housing. On average, beehives measure about 22 inches by 16 inches (55.88cm by 40.64cm). Now, I'm not good at math, but I would say a hive that would house 20,000 bees of the above shown size would be right at home as a city office building or large shopping mall, if not larger.

Bees also keep their hives hot, about 89.6–96.8°F (or 32–36°C). They do this so that the larvae and pupae don't die. Larger creature, hotter temps (maybe). If thats the case, you'd have this massive, shopping-mall sized beehive that's hot enough to melt metal.

Then there's the matter of their material needs. In order to live at such a large size, they'd need hundreds of times more oxygen, about half the amount of earth's gravity, and hundreds of times more food. Or, they would need food that has a lot more calories stored, aka meat. And, still, a lot of it.

while I agree being able to snuggle with a massive, fluffy bee would be amazing, it's better to leave it as a wishful fantasy.

last night I was thinking about bees and how dumb it is that science hasn’t given us genetically modified pet bees yet

if you’re reading this, science, this is how big I want them to be

[dieselpvnk]

artificer deserves to be extra unhinged, when i draw other slugcats i somewhat care about anatomy, but for artificer - nuh uh !!!! what's more important is that its body bends in extreme ways with sharp angles and the pose has a flow, she can break every bone if it means there's more sharp angles in the drawing

[mushroominaforest]

the two scugs who are canonically self-conscious about being short in my au lmao.

[raintailed]

PLEASE i am CLAWING THE WALLS i gotta talk about regicide oh my god.

My headcanon artificer's story basically has her eventually fight and kill the scav king. The king respawns and Artificer's destroyed karma means she cant leave. She is also burned out on hatred, so to speak; now she is just exhausted.

And the king, who is actually pretty kind, decides that the best long-term solution to having a mass murderer trapped in your city is to pretty much declare a truce.

At first Arti is NOT happy about this arrangemenr but at least she isnt being actively hunted down anymore (this helps massively with her anxiety i'd imagine). She is still very hostile to anyone who gets too close to her den. She also has to duel a lot of scavs so they can basically get even with her for killing them (based on ideas from @its-the-sa).

Uhhh eventually Arti grows to trust the Scav King, which is a HUGE deal for someone like her. She sees herself and the King as equals (in battle, anyway). In turn, the King isn't afraid of what Artificer can do to him, but *is* afraid of what Artificer can and has done to his people.

Imagining it gets to the point where the King is able to like. Go wake up Artificer (any time before noon is early for Arti) to go to some political thing and Arti is just face down in her den going GRRRRRR. But the King knows they are just being grumpy and they won't actually hurt him. Theyre so different and yet they eventually get along so well...

ANYWAYS it is 1 am I should stop rambling for now

[antlersofthevoid]

[therealcallmekd]

Been obsessing over the fact that my old oc, Artie, and Kinitopet are like so one in the same it's actually crazy.

Pink AI that's friendly on the surface, is actually really clingy and obsessive at times. Lonely and really just trying to fulfill a core objective as set by their creator or other influences, someone or something that they look up to as a godly figure maybe.

They both act as your friendly AI assistant, Artie is just for a specific program, while Kinito just gets to be his own thing.

Both want you to stay with them. Both will go out of their way to do things to make sure that happens.

they are so silly to me, and i love them

Also I found an old sketch from way back that somehow mimics the literal same plot beats to the ending portion of kinitopet and that threw me for a loop. Too bad it was only a concept sketch.

ohhh i love sentient silly ai so much... ohhh i love themmmmmm

something something sentience of ai is inherently a tragedy or something like that.

thank you for listening to me ramble. ahem.

[artisplatters]

Okay big talky time strap in

So the above explained phenomenon occurs often in people who were raised in ways that ultimately give them c-ptsd. This can be achieved, obviously, by crappy parenting and shitty environments such as school.

Intentions of other people don't matter, good int.s or bad int.s it all ends up the same.

When raised in situations like these, the brain will end up in a constant state of fight-or-flight(or-fawn) instead of developing important mental skills that are usually developed in the growing-up phase. Skills such as emotional regulation, proper enviromental evaluation (that isn't just "oh everywhere's dangerous so lets stay in F-or-F mode"), and our current topic, long term memory (among other things but those arent the topic rn are they)

Because of being in near-constant F-or-F mode, our brain isn't really focused on making memories, it's stuck in a state of survival, even during joyous or calm times when it shouldn't be. over several years, only big events will end up sticking around long-term. everything else will be muddled or disappear entirely.

So, I promise you, you aren't stupid, your life isn't devoid of interesting things, and your brain isn't fucking with you on purpose. It was just trying to help you survive. But your brain will force you to inhale water if you go too long without air, so it isn't always the best at judging how to help you survive.

You're a wonderful human being who happened to have a sucky start, but that doesn't mean the rest of the story is gonna be sucky. You just gotta keep going and try not to beat yourself up about it.

This isn't explained very well so I'm gonna link some stuff if you want a proper explanation:

A Phyche2Go video on the topic, not the best but its not a dramatic-ified version that most videos are

A Hanley Foundation article I'm not too familiar with Hanley but this paper at least seems to explain the memory loss part of it decently

unfortunately neither of these manage to address the specifics of being raised with cptsd so I encourage to look into said specifics when you can.

I learned of this myself only in the last couple years, so I'm not an expert. But I will say that it doesn't have to be a few big events. In fact, especially in the case of being raised with it, it's often hundreds of thousands of small things that add up, like grains of sand on a beach.

Why don't I have any memories of being a kid. Why can't I remember that? Was it just boring? Why can't I remember things as recent as 2020? Am I just stupid? Is my mind just fuking with me? Is my life really that devoid of interesting moments?

Why don't I have any memories

[artisplatters]

woag lotsa talkin

this year and last year has been a personal resurgence of my obsessions with certain fandoms (fnaf, undertale, mlp, batim, etc.), as well as joining in new fandoms that would've fit right in back in the 2010s (pressure, regretevator, dandy's world {very new to that one idk the lore yet}, etc.)

people make jokes about how its "just like 2015 again", which isn't entirely accurate but since I didn't get to participate in any fandom things back in 2015 it still feels like a second chance for me

I've already made so many incredible friends and started properly drawing what I want to draw, rather than watered down stuff out of fear of my family seeing what I enjoy

I'm gonna be 20 in a few months. Its an age I honestly never thought I'd reach... I'm not gonna get into details of it but it can be guessed why I never thought I'd make it to 20

it still doesn't feel real to be the age I am now, much less the reality of my next birthday

I still don't feel like an adult, or even a young adult. I feel like a tired, scared little kid

Does that ever go away? that feeling?

Do I even want that feeling to go away? Because isn't it somewhat proof that I'm still carrying the hope and love that children tend to carry? That it hasn't been stamped out of me yet?

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I mean, I do, but my goals feel almost watered-down now... and yet, at the same time, they feel increasingly impossible to achieve

I only just started doing youtube and streaming, even though I've been wanting to do it for years... and what I'm making isn't good

I know I need to be patient with myself and keep figuring stuff out, but I just feel like I'm in a professional darts competition but I only have silly straws as ammo

still, I'm farther than I've ever been before

I keep forgetting to look behind myself and see how far I've come

I'm gonna try to go into 2025 with hope and creativity, even as the world continues to get scarier and scarier. I'm keeping that promise little-me made, to be a small light in the dark like how other people were for me

I'm not gonna hold back anymore, or at least I'm gonna try not to

but who fucking knows, maybe I'll still be in this same spot this time next year

I hope not, though

[doyelikehaggis]

I’ve finally reached the wedding episode in the outline of my s6 glee rewrite and I still have no idea what to do with it.

[minecraftfan11onscratch]

What's wrong? Why can't you get up? You're almost there! Your soul's been cleaned! Nothing weighs on it anymore! It's completely clear! Open! Weak. Corruptable. DEFENSELESS. E X P O S E D . S U S C E P T I B L E . V U L N E R A B L E . I T ' S . F I N A L L Y . A L L . M I N E .

So, how do I start on this chapter? *ENA's voice* JEEZ, LOUISE.

I enjoyed how Chapter 3 began to develop the characters beyond how they superficially act, but I imagined a completely different ending from what we got. I was waiting for the game to gradually increase the horror and emotion thanks to the partial Earthbound inspiration... just not this soon and THIS much.

Sincerely, before this game, OMORI was the last one that made me question my own head, and that was in 2022. The Dream World reminded me of it not only in the "quirky decaying until it becomes terrifying" vibe, but how emotions from the story receive representation in the gameplay (status mechanic/bosses respectively).

As someone who does feel a lot of the first three emotions (GREED to a lesser extent), and until very recently, tried to repress my negativity to detrimental degrees, I felt relief by the time I beat HATRED. Like a weight has been lifted along with the protagonist's - not forever, but for a good time.

Overall? Loved this chapter! Can't wait for Demo 4. 💚🩷

[a-whispering-echo]

Holy shit I found some old sketchbooks hold on,I'm gonna go through them and we can laugh at how bad my art was and how much I've improved-

Okay- okay, so, it has all my first drawing of the characters from both MM and UEA, but I'm gonna pot the drawing that ARENT those in this bit and I'll reblog with those aus cus image limit

Here's the images under the cut so I don't clog your feed!

Ahhh, look! I've improved SO MUCH! The only one in actually still proud of here is the hare. That was the original drawing of a painting I did for my grandmother for Christmas I wanna say either last year or the year before? I think this is the '22 book, so id guess that, but I can't remember really lol

These are all different stages of development btw! Some of them are more recent than others, and I think you can kinda see my art style change? Lol

[artemisanalysis]

I’m thinking about the unsleeping city,,,,

It’s about 2 sides of the same coin.

It’s about believing in dreams but not the point of delusion that you harm yourself.

It’s about the reality of the world where you have to be realistic but not to the point where you can’t be optimistic

It’s about hope for the future and understanding your present.

It is what is, and *it is what it could be*

[artyandink]

Uh… I just recently got an a severe obsession with Dick Grayson, so… has anyone ever written a mafia!Dick? I feel like that’d be really cool.

[artificialchaoscola]

So about writing a Yandere character...

In my experience, many yandere characters in popular media end up feeling underwhelming. The concept - a character, often a woman, who becomes dangerously obsessed with someone they love - is intriguing, I can totally see the appeal. But typically, I feel there's a crucial element that often gets overlooked in favor of marketable violence and wish fulfillment: trauma.

To create a compelling yandere, I believe you have to make them sympathetic to a certain extent. This doesn’t mean excusing their actions, but rather providing a deeper exploration into how trauma can manifest in extreme, obsessive behavior. A well-written yandere isn’t just about creepy stares and stalking; it's an opportunity to delve into the psyche of a character and expand upon the things that scare them. I think a good, simple yet well-executed example of this would be Monika from DDLC. You don't need to like what she did in the game, but you can understand her perspective and why her obsession with the player manifested in the way that it did. Yandere characters offer a unique lens to explore the dark side of love and attachment - how deep-seated pain and unresolved trauma can twist emotions in unexpected and unsettling ways. When done right, it's a powerful narrative tool. IMO anyway!

So when writing a Yandere, be it with a canon character with that trope or an AU, I think exploring all of the traits said character has is a great start to determining how Yandere behavior would manifest within them. Look at the things that typically scare them, look at their upbringing, look at how they cope with their issues normally. There's a psychological aspect that often gets overlooked in favor of the outbursts of violence, which I understand, but idk I like this archetype a lot and want better for it frfr!

[sluttyenthusiast]

Rewatching Glee makes me realize how hateable Rachel Berry truly is, as well as Finn.

If I could rate all the characters (from the first three seasons cause only they matter) I hate from the most to the least, it'd look like this,

1) Rachel Berry, a loud mouth, obnoxious, overpreformer who assumes she's the best.

2) Finn Hudson, told Quinn's parents she was pregnant and got her kicked out, also outed Santana and got her kicked out as well, and is dating an unbearable troll.

3) Blaine Anderson, plays the victim card too much, made Kurt seem like the bad guy.

4) Quinn Fabray, a little more likable but plays the victim card as well, literally tried to get Shelby fired and have her baby taken away.

5) Artie Abrams, he's okay, sometimes just a little too much

6) Kurt Hummel, he's chill, but can have his moments.

7) Tina Cohen-Chang, I actually love her, but points taken off for the first season weirdness

8) Santana Lopez, she's a little bit of a bitch, but some of what she does is reasonable ig

9) Sam Evans, I love me some white chocolate, but fr, Sam is cool, he usually tries to look out for everyone the same way he wants to be looked out for.

10) Mike Chang, badass dance moves, and overcame his own fears of his family to do what he loves.

11) Mercedes Jones, I understand the whole debacle with Rachel Berry and I applaud her for that.

11) BRITTANY S. PIERCE, my angel baby, I love her sm and she's so smart and kind and is genuinely incredible, she's always been thought as less than or stupid just because she thought outside the box.