#arthurian incorrect quotes

[oneshoulderangel]

Sir Lancelot: I don’t want to work with the squires!

Lancelot: they can be so cruel when they sense weakness.

Kay: that’s why on the first day, you gotta beat up the biggest one in the yard.

Gawain: Kay, that’s prison.

Kay: Only if you let it be.

[escespace]

Gwaine: Man, I'm fed up with these two, we have to do something.

Elyan: What are you talking about?

Gwaine: Arthur and Merlin and their stupid desperate flirting

Elyan: What? Flirting?

Gwaine: Are you blind?!!! Of course they flirt. If not, what would you call that?

Gwaine: *turns elyan's face to where Merlin and Arthur are being separated by Lance and Leon while they yell at each other*

Elyan: Social incompetence?

[h0bg0blin-meat]

*The Knights cleaning up* Gwaine: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Arthur, to Merlin: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

[incorrection-quotation]

The Lord Bertilak after Gawain kisses him: *Dang, this man was literally too nice to sleep with my wife*

Sir Gawain blushing profusely: *kissing two people in one day? What am I? A whore!?*

[thatdamhobbit]

Perry: So, apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

And also

Gwen: How many kids do you have?

Perry: Biologically, legally or emotionally?

And

Perry: Please, I’m begging you, go to a doctor

Morgan: I’m sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it

And

Morgan: You’re my best friend and I would do anything for you

Dai: Eat three full meals a day and have a healthy sleep schedule.

Morgan: Absolutely not.

[gringle-pringle]

It’s been pointed out to me that the entire merlin series is just merlin being Perry the platypus.

Merlin takes off his neckerchief

“A servant?”

Merlin puts on his scarf:

“MERLIN THE SERVANT?!?”

Merlin’s eyes turn gold:

“EMRYS THE PROTECTOR OF THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING??!?!?”

[incorrectjttw]

Erlang Shen: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

King Arthur: ...thanks?

The East meets the West in the mythological realm and shit gets wild.

[15pantheons]

Lancelot: I am an expert at identifying birds.  Arthur: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?  Lancelot: Yeah, they're all birds. 

[marthalmary]

kidnapper: We have Princess Guinevere. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Guinevere: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?

Arthur:

Guinevere: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

Arthur: GUINEVERE STOP

[ofstarsandmoonlightt]

Bree: So, um, I think I’m in love with Sel.

Alice: Sel? The merlin?

Bree: Yes. Thoughts?

Alice: And prayers.

[oneshoulderangel]

Lancelot: Okay, don’t be mad.

Kay: Don’t tell me what to do.

[escespace]

Gwaine: You know... Before, I kind of had a crush on Merlin

Arthur: ...

Arthur: that shit gets over?

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Merlin: WHO THE FUCK-

Arthur: Whoa, language!

Merlin: I speak fucking English!

Arthur: ...

[sipthestarswithme]

Lancelot: I am no killer

Gawain: You just decapitated -

Lancelot: I simply sent him to God

Gawain: Yeah… that’s still murder, bud.

Lancelot: If God found it unjust, then he would resurrect this man.

Arthur: Has that… happened yet?

Lancelot: No. Which means I’m doing a good job.

[taliesin-the-bored]

Post-Camlann Incorrect Quote

Bedivere (to Arthur): I just fought in a battle for you, most of my friends are dead, you’re dying, I’m unemployed, the land is in turmoil and potential anarchy, Kay is I-don’t-know-the-heck where, you just killed my brother by hugging him, and I don’t even get to keep the darn sword?

[peregrin-tookish]

Mordred: This is NFL's intro. I think they bought the rights to it actually Mordred: Why do I know that? Galahad: because you grew up in a household of men Mordred: Oh yeah