#art school experience
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Art school and mental health.
I think I decided to really become an artist in 2014. At the time, I was in high-school and the idea of trying to enter an art school came from seeing how little practice was in the art curriculum at a french university.
Not knowing anything better I submitted an embarrassing portfolio consisting of things I saw in the videos of people wanting to go in the
𝓒𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓪𝓷 𝓘𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓐𝓻𝓽𝓼
My portfolio neither had the quality to enter what I now know as an animation school and clearly wasn't focusing on concepts enough to go into the kind of school we have in France. I was motivated but my parents aren't artist, I didn't know any art student and my art professor pushed going to a university.
Instead I went into a preparation school that helped me understand what type of art school they are, what they wanted and how different from one another the teachings there can be. After that I tried 3 different schools and got 2 to accept me.
While I had nothing against the 3rd one at the time, knowing I fucked up during the entrance exam, learning how pretentious the professors were and how they treated not only my classmates but the students as well, pissed me of.
I wasn't mad they refused me because I already had the privilege of choice with the 2 schools I wanted. I was mad because despite not liking this particular classmate, they treated her condescendingly and mocked her in a very stressful situation.
She instead went to another school, less prestigious sure, but at least more adapted to what she did and wanted. I'm glad for her but that moment marked me and gave an idea of how little art school were concerned for the mental health of their students.
Nobody comes out, at least in France, of an art school intact, some people are traumatized, some left with severe burn out, some became the professor's black sheep (for good or bad reasons). I went there, excited to meet so many people, met the one person that was super manipulative, got social anxiety and never got any real friends.
Sure, I learned a lot of things about art, techniques, others and myself. However, I also learned that despite my best attempts at socializing, I felt unfulfilled, frustrated and developed a depression. I cried each birthday I had from my situation, had suicidal ideations, didn't quite understand what happened to me.
I felt like I never did enough for people and my professors made me feel like it. I got my diploma with the jury telling me I could have developed my ideas deeper and should step out of my comfort zone.
How do you step out of your comfort zone when it's the only thing making you survive and feel safer ?
You don't. You're mentally ill and you need something to cling unto while experiencing traumatic events.
I was isolated but each time I talked about it, people who told me they would make steps didn't or were too busy working on things of their own.
Trust me, I don't want to repel anyone from entering art school.
Be careful about who you meet and who's competitive mind is full of negative self-value. Inform yourself on where other students live and get near them, try to not be isolated or isolating yourself (if you can).
Your work might be amazing but if people only value you because of it, it's not right. You're a whole person, your feelings matter and friendships are VERY important to your art school experience.
I think what made me not quit, was mostly from the mindset I grew up with and the solidarity the class showed towards shitty things professors did to us. We legit scared the teachers because we would NOT shut up about how wrong and immature they could be.
I became aware of many things during these 3 years. Like my needs, gender identity, social issues... My experience was intense and honestly ? I don't recommend being me.
I don't speak for everyone there, I'm sure many got more positives than negatives but while I'm on friendly terms with my old classmates, I've never really been friends with them either.
ANYWAYS. Here's a picture of a scorpion-fly from this april :)
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#artists on tumblr#maxwellsuperbien#macrophotography#trans artist#animals#photography#bugs#bugblr#insects#scorpionfly#scorpion-fly#art-school#artschool#art school#experience#autistic experiences#neurodivergent#adhd problems#adhd life#neurodivergency#vent#venting#art school experience
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common scenario + my epic stream of consciousness
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everybody was very nice on my last post(s) so !!! more cole and manfred be upon you :D
#my arts#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dav#datv#da4#dragon age 4#veilguard#the veilguard#manfred dragon age#cole dragon age#dragon age manfred#dragon age cole#manfred the skeleton#cole the spirit of compassion#dragon age veilguard spoilers#emmrich volkarin#dorian pavus#EHHHH TECHNICALLY#not tagging solas or the iron bull tho. that feels cheaty#im still not very good at drawing skeletons (can you tell i was experimenting w his head lol) so take that as u will#but i loooooove doodling cole esp his hair <3 wet cat core. he used to be on so many of my school notes back in the day :]#i think i am going to draw them w some weird friends next (basically. sandal and kieran. cryptic boys my beloveds) but we will see !#also maybe something w varric bc uhhh. yeah >_>;;;#its crazy bc i know like 10 things that happen in veilguard and thats it. but fck it we ball >:3c#oh i also had an AU idea too UGH i have so much i wanna draw but ill stop#thanks for looking at my art and also i love you <33
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I was going to do a house warden series but got too busy
#twisted wonderland#twst#malleus draconia#gif#lil' doots#old art bc im so freakin busy with the new school year#creating a whole ass course from scratch basically on the day of the semester with while I still wasn't registered in the system#but i finally got mineeeeeeeee hooray i can finally make google classrooms and printtttt#i love my department they were so nice to me#anyways this was me experimenting with colours in gifs#maybe i'll make leona and vil?? who knows I do have ideas but 0 time :'''((((#i guess technically this would be a wip cause i was going to animate some effects but said fuck it
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Theres something fairly odd about those fairies!
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#cosmo and wanda#fop cosmo#fop wanda#fop peri#periwinkle#They canonically shapeshift all the time so BASICALLY that gives me free reign to do whatever I want#Cosmo and Wanda have got lazy about keeping up appearances since their vacation- also because decades of experience makes you sloppy#so they slowly slip into something more eldritch until every once in a while they're reminded looking like that will supposedly traumatize-#their kid#Peri's still fresh out of Godparent school so all that training is still freshly drilled into him#Hes just disappointed#art#digital art#fanart#doodles
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I love Tsubaki so much and they deserve nothing but happiness and joy forever
#wind breaker#got overwhelmed thinking about how much i love tsubaki and the only way i had to deal with that was drawing em a couple times#the character ever#not that my experience with being queer is anything like tsubakis but theyre so relatable anyways and i just!!!#whenever i see lil middle school tsubaki in particular i start tearing up#ooooh when she pulls her hair back in a fight ahhhh#my art#fanart
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He lends very well to dramatic lighting
Comm for @cannibal-crxw :D info here
#fennec.art#my art#dsmp fanart#cquackity fanart#cquackity#commission#commissions open#you may assume im a cq main but I'm not rly. assigned cq artist by the masses lol#the design was provided by the commissioner btw. delightful#speaking of which amazing experience all around a joy to work with thank you sm!! ^^#its so hot in here my dudes it was fine for a few days but summer's rly hitting<- guy who explodes ppl with his mind when a little sweaty#<- also guy who gets his dad's genes and thus sweats buckets all the time. its so over guys#anyway yapping over school is done!!! peace and love on planet earth xoxo
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i suddenly remembered these little guys from "frozen fever" where basically elsa got sick and her powers causes the things to appear bc of it
anyways so-
yuusha kept it,,, not like she really had a choice either bc jade would probably just insist on it
#help me i was about to go to sleep but the visions are too vivid for me too ignore#i'm also experimenting with yuusha's 2nd year school uniform so uh yeah#more yuushade shenanigans i guess????#still figuring out their entire dynamic tbh hdbsjsj#good night o7#the start of this week has been the longest month ever#[—✦-#-✧ my art#-✧ comic#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#jade leech#twst oc x canon#jade x yuu#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#(💜) yuushade#2ndyr💜#-✦—]
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toritsuak sexuality hc?
homophobic gay
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#asks#saiki k#art tag#My friends on discord have already seen this#And now they’re gonna see it again hi guys#Thsi comic was inspired by years of experience being an openly gay person in public school
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Honestly I don't have much of an explanation outside of I like the irony of a Blind Watcher. And. Well. Grian is right there for things to go awry like that. So,
This was created for the 2024 Reverse Big Bang hosted by @mcytblraufest !! Us artists had to create artwork for the writers to claim this time around! >:)
and speaking of writers.. my art garnered the attention of not one, but two writers, who both created fanfics based off of my art!! It's been such a cool experience seeing how differently they've both taken things and they're both VERY WELL DONE!!!!!!!!
" Glass " by @honeylashofficial
Parts make up a whole, but Mumbo hasn't been a part of anything for a very long time. He was okay with that though. The world was more than welcome to continue outside his window, as long as he had his oven and his cable tv all to himself. But every once in a while, the outside world comes inside, and he has to chase it back out with a broomstick. This time, his technique backfires in a way he never could have imagined. Or... Mumbo could count the number of his friends without even raising a hand. Who knew that a 30,000 year-old creature stealing his bed comforter could change that?
" Lost To The End " by Sary_Sary
Six months ago, Mumbo’s closest friend vanished without a trace, leaving nothing but unanswered questions. 6 months later, a strange creature appears in his bedroom, with no inkling of how or why. With no clue how this creature got there or what it wants, Mumbo is thrown into a whirlwind of confusion as he tries to figure out what is going on. Now, Mumbo has to continue trying to figure out where Grian went, all while learning what this creature even is, and how to help him without harming him in the process. To make matters worse, the only person who can help him unravel this mystery is the one person Mumbo swore he would never work with: Scar.
#mcytblraufest2024#mcyt#hermitcraft#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#grian#Blind!Watcher AU#ill have more art for each fic Later and i have many of my own personal thoughts from when i was drawing these LOL#but man. this was such a fun experience and its even more fun finally reading what these two goobers cooked up#i Do have the recordings of me drawing this if Anyone is at all interested . its nearly 30 hours of work haha#didnt. didnt think itd take me that long to draw these. but. hey. ill know for next time :')#BUT YEAH THEIR FICS ARE REALLY GOOD SO FAR IM VERY EXCITED TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE THEY DIVERGE AS THEY GO ON#I REALLY REALLY WANT TO DO MORE ART FOR BOTH OF THEM . SO BADLY#< giggling like a little school girl kicking my leggies . i really really want to theyre so FUN GRAAAAHJ#i really want to redraw these to match how honey and sary both took and kind of ran off with them NSDKJVSDNV#its been really cool seeing the similarities and all the differences. i am so very excited to fully read these. does a little dance
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Bond Forger appreciation post - aka my finished piece for the Starlight Anya Zine (2022)!
The endpage doodles were a collab between me and my little sister :)
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#zine stuff#spy x family#anya forger#bond forger#becky blackbell#sxf#doodles#whewwwww this is old#feels kind of weird to post it now but i had fun making it!#the project was rlly cute#my second ever zine <33#credit to my sister for drawing the doodles!#she did the lines i did the color#truly the collab of the century#art updates - i've been doing a lot of sketching recently#might just be burnout speaking but it feels good to focus on lines w/out worrying about colors#totally unrelated fun fact: my internship gave me my first strand of grey hair#don't get me wrong it was a great experience! but also stressful#speaking of stress school starts in a week ahhhhh#in conclusion stay silly stay sane
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i may or may not have made full designs for mercs in an rp i'm doing...
rb > likes or smth
misc + og designs under cut :thumbs up:
here's them before i started colouring
most of these are pretty gimmicky on purpose, also i changed a cuple of stuff here and there
for the sake of the rp i designed these kill feeds (more or less inspired by those chat devices someone made for dsmp that one time) (it's a little primitive, but it only has to be functional)
there is a v.2 which has the form of a watch (you can see it on sniper, spy and engie) (it also has a mode where instead of sending notifications it vibrates, thought it would be fun for sneaking) (maybe it even has a walke talkie function, yk, for team comms) (i didn't draw but it's all fictional anyway)
i kept some on my hcs in these ddesigns too, like engi's and Pyro's special goggles and tails and
i also removed Medic's lab coat because... well... he doesn't have it on...
i removed Sniper's facial hair too because i ended up hating it hfsgfe
there's also this uh,, thing i made
(yes, i made spy look and pose like that on prpose lmao)
#and yeah that's it#no beta we die like archimedes on the battlefield /j#anyways ms paint is the best art program change my mind#i experimented with the proportions a little in the beginning#you can see it in scout and sniper#but i ended up not sticking with it very much as you can see fgysgfe#my friend plays the red team teehee#they also have a red army robin oc. Pep beloved#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 oc#engie tf2#engineer tf2#sniper tf2#spy tf2#medic tf2#soldier tf2#scout tf2#heavy tf2#pyro tf2#demoman tf2#demo tf2#tf2 headcannons#misterious stranger fallout 4#it's 1 am and i have to get up for school at 7 am#i am going to commit die /nsrs#if anyones wondering btw i made these of loadout.tf#very cool site#you can spin them#gunslinger
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yukari coming out (yukamitsu)
#persona 3#yukamitsu#yukari takeba#mitsuru kirijo#my art#p3 reload#p3 fes#persona 3 reload#p3#ok their jealousy vibe just seemed homosexual to me#maybe im projecting about my closeted high school experience#but i love yukamitsu’s slow opening up to each other#if I messed up the perspective you don’t see it. you don’t
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official poster for tadhse!!
not as proud of this as i had hoped LMAO but it still looks pretty good i hope
still thinking about that separate blog, we'll see!!
#fanart#art#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc fanart#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc jax#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#tadhse#the amazing digital high school experience#tadc au#did not expect so many people to like this au lol#thank you yall are really sweet#side characters coming eventually#im dead this took 6 hours
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The clones’ extracurriculars and hobbies~ 💕
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I tried to edit some of my drawings so they look like they fit together (I couldn’t get Confucius and Topher to work in the same pic tho agh) but this series was very fun to draw!!!
#I like thinking about what the clones do outside of school#like in the show they always skip summer break#DON’T SKIP SUMMER BREAK I wanna see what they do in their free time 🥲#unless they all avoid each other once school lets out#honestly pretty accurate to the highschool experience#for most of these I tried to give them different outfits#I like seeing them in different clothes#clone high#clone high fanart#fanart#my art#roxi's art#clone high jfk#clone high confucius#clone high Cleo#clone high Frida#clone high Joan#clone high Abe#clone high Topher#clone high Harriet
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chibi hexsquad! drew this super quick between classes :3
#drew this on krita on the school computers in like 7 minutes after my CAD model finished rendering and then I ZOOMED to the bus stop#i made it in time tho 💪💪 im posting this from the bus rn#i wanna draw more but im just always. so busy.#and most of the time im working on my laptop so i can't doodle in the margins of my notes </3#also somehow my main sketchbook has vanished??? which SUCKSSSSS#i can't find it anywhere im thinking i left it at my mom's?? im visiting her this weekend so hopefully it's there#anyways. have little chibi hexsquad. as a treat#im trying to experiment more with the style i draw myself in :]#lilac art#lilac doodle#toh fanart#toh#Luz noceda#willow park#gus porter#amity blight#hunter toh#image id in alt text#image id included
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