#art school experience
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Art school and mental health.
I think I decided to really become an artist in 2014. At the time, I was in high-school and the idea of trying to enter an art school came from seeing how little practice was in the art curriculum at a french university.
Not knowing anything better I submitted an embarrassing portfolio consisting of things I saw in the videos of people wanting to go in the
𝓒𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓪𝓷 𝓘𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓐𝓻𝓽𝓼
My portfolio neither had the quality to enter what I now know as an animation school and clearly wasn't focusing on concepts enough to go into the kind of school we have in France. I was motivated but my parents aren't artist, I didn't know any art student and my art professor pushed going to a university.
Instead I went into a preparation school that helped me understand what type of art school they are, what they wanted and how different from one another the teachings there can be. After that I tried 3 different schools and got 2 to accept me.
While I had nothing against the 3rd one at the time, knowing I fucked up during the entrance exam, learning how pretentious the professors were and how they treated not only my classmates but the students as well, pissed me of.
I wasn't mad they refused me because I already had the privilege of choice with the 2 schools I wanted. I was mad because despite not liking this particular classmate, they treated her condescendingly and mocked her in a very stressful situation.
She instead went to another school, less prestigious sure, but at least more adapted to what she did and wanted. I'm glad for her but that moment marked me and gave an idea of how little art school were concerned for the mental health of their students.
Nobody comes out, at least in France, of an art school intact, some people are traumatized, some left with severe burn out, some became the professor's black sheep (for good or bad reasons). I went there, excited to meet so many people, met the one person that was super manipulative, got social anxiety and never got any real friends.
Sure, I learned a lot of things about art, techniques, others and myself. However, I also learned that despite my best attempts at socializing, I felt unfulfilled, frustrated and developed a depression. I cried each birthday I had from my situation, had suicidal ideations, didn't quite understand what happened to me.
I felt like I never did enough for people and my professors made me feel like it. I got my diploma with the jury telling me I could have developed my ideas deeper and should step out of my comfort zone.
How do you step out of your comfort zone when it's the only thing making you survive and feel safer ?
You don't. You're mentally ill and you need something to cling unto while experiencing traumatic events.
I was isolated but each time I talked about it, people who told me they would make steps didn't or were too busy working on things of their own.
Trust me, I don't want to repel anyone from entering art school.
Be careful about who you meet and who's competitive mind is full of negative self-value. Inform yourself on where other students live and get near them, try to not be isolated or isolating yourself (if you can).
Your work might be amazing but if people only value you because of it, it's not right. You're a whole person, your feelings matter and friendships are VERY important to your art school experience.
I think what made me not quit, was mostly from the mindset I grew up with and the solidarity the class showed towards shitty things professors did to us. We legit scared the teachers because we would NOT shut up about how wrong and immature they could be.
I became aware of many things during these 3 years. Like my needs, gender identity, social issues... My experience was intense and honestly ? I don't recommend being me.
I don't speak for everyone there, I'm sure many got more positives than negatives but while I'm on friendly terms with my old classmates, I've never really been friends with them either.
ANYWAYS. Here's a picture of a scorpion-fly from this april :)
#artists on tumblr#maxwellsuperbien#macrophotography#trans artist#animals#photography#bugs#bugblr#insects#scorpionfly#scorpion-fly#art-school#artschool#art school#experience#autistic experiences#neurodivergent#adhd problems#adhd life#neurodivergency#vent#venting#art school experience
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best friends
#valentines day#love puppy#love kitten#webkinz#digital art#id in alt text#my art#ik i said i would do raccoons again but i remembered ive been meaning to draw webkinz love puppy idk#this was mostly an excuse to experiment w brushes and textures. experiment failed i still hate them#my battle w procreate is ongoing 🔪#idk i feel like i should keep a tradition of valentines day drawings#HOPEFULLY now that school is done. maybe ill finally have the mental bandwidth to draw in october#which is way better than february 😑
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common scenario + my epic stream of consciousness
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🌸Tamaki Suoh would wear the shirt proudly 🌸 Based on this post Ko-fi
#ohshc#ohshc fanart#ouran#ouran fanart#ouran high school host club#ouran high school host club fanart#tamaharu#tamaharu fanart#tamaki suoh#tamaki suoh fanart#haruhi fujioka#haruhi fujioka fanart#artists on tumblr#my art#just playing around and experimenting with style again 😌
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the crossover nobody asked for
#especially not me cause my xmen knowledge is base at best#ive absorbed a lot thru flor but not a lot#anywyas i read spiderman and the xmen and didnt really like it#hes barely doing any teacher like help me god i want a funny miniseriessssss#peter parker#pete#my art#i think i should draw more but ill be just projecting my experience teaching onto pete. which is fine#hes happiest when hes bullied by 13yr olds#and in my heart i like to think hes like me. working as a TA to get school experience . before embarking on possibly#the worlds most thankless job ❤️
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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He lends very well to dramatic lighting
Comm for @cannibal-crxw :D info here
#fennec.art#my art#dsmp fanart#cquackity fanart#cquackity#commission#commissions open#you may assume im a cq main but I'm not rly. assigned cq artist by the masses lol#the design was provided by the commissioner btw. delightful#speaking of which amazing experience all around a joy to work with thank you sm!! ^^#its so hot in here my dudes it was fine for a few days but summer's rly hitting<- guy who explodes ppl with his mind when a little sweaty#<- also guy who gets his dad's genes and thus sweats buckets all the time. its so over guys#anyway yapping over school is done!!! peace and love on planet earth xoxo
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looks like I can draw again!!
Sebastian called him "orphan" for the rest of the week.
#YEHAAAAAH MATEE GUESS IM GOING TO ANIMATION SCHOOL#IT WAS ALL WORTH IT. and now it's all over#actually this may mean I'Il be busier later... but for now- I'm back into the swing of things! kuro art; thoughts; tears; and what have you#it feels like a while since I've posted a big project so I hope I can make it up by finally getting back to the one's ive had in my WIPs!#thank god I got this thingy done. my brain is firing again so i gotta keep up#I know how to draw cars😅🙃#sorry if the eccess of screen prints is annoying I was experimenting#modern!au#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#digital art#o!ciel#this would make a good ad but no not sponcered😌#sebastian starts vibrating
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i've been busy so i drew a boat boys lol
#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#hermitcraft#trafficblr#hermitblr#life series#life smp#empires smp#ethoslab#boat boys#etho#schools just started and i also hurt me knee badly lol liFe#Sorry my work hasn't been up to its usual quality#I dunno#Im overthinking art I think#But in a way I suppose the times after when art is the hardest is when you experience the most growth art wise so it all works out
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Honestly I don't have much of an explanation outside of I like the irony of a Blind Watcher. And. Well. Grian is right there for things to go awry like that. So,
This was created for the 2024 Reverse Big Bang hosted by @mcytblraufest !! Us artists had to create artwork for the writers to claim this time around! >:)
and speaking of writers.. my art garnered the attention of not one, but two writers, who both created fanfics based off of my art!! It's been such a cool experience seeing how differently they've both taken things and they're both VERY WELL DONE!!!!!!!!
" Glass " by @honeylashofficial
Parts make up a whole, but Mumbo hasn't been a part of anything for a very long time. He was okay with that though. The world was more than welcome to continue outside his window, as long as he had his oven and his cable tv all to himself. But every once in a while, the outside world comes inside, and he has to chase it back out with a broomstick. This time, his technique backfires in a way he never could have imagined. Or... Mumbo could count the number of his friends without even raising a hand. Who knew that a 30,000 year-old creature stealing his bed comforter could change that?
" Lost To The End " by Sary_Sary
Six months ago, Mumbo’s closest friend vanished without a trace, leaving nothing but unanswered questions. 6 months later, a strange creature appears in his bedroom, with no inkling of how or why. With no clue how this creature got there or what it wants, Mumbo is thrown into a whirlwind of confusion as he tries to figure out what is going on. Now, Mumbo has to continue trying to figure out where Grian went, all while learning what this creature even is, and how to help him without harming him in the process. To make matters worse, the only person who can help him unravel this mystery is the one person Mumbo swore he would never work with: Scar.
#mcytblraufest2024#mcyt#hermitcraft#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#grian#Blind!Watcher AU#ill have more art for each fic Later and i have many of my own personal thoughts from when i was drawing these LOL#but man. this was such a fun experience and its even more fun finally reading what these two goobers cooked up#i Do have the recordings of me drawing this if Anyone is at all interested . its nearly 30 hours of work haha#didnt. didnt think itd take me that long to draw these. but. hey. ill know for next time :')#BUT YEAH THEIR FICS ARE REALLY GOOD SO FAR IM VERY EXCITED TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE THEY DIVERGE AS THEY GO ON#I REALLY REALLY WANT TO DO MORE ART FOR BOTH OF THEM . SO BADLY#< giggling like a little school girl kicking my leggies . i really really want to theyre so FUN GRAAAAHJ#i really want to redraw these to match how honey and sary both took and kind of ran off with them NSDKJVSDNV#its been really cool seeing the similarities and all the differences. i am so very excited to fully read these. does a little dance
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Bond Forger appreciation post - aka my finished piece for the Starlight Anya Zine (2022)!
The endpage doodles were a collab between me and my little sister :)
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#zine stuff#spy x family#anya forger#bond forger#becky blackbell#sxf#doodles#whewwwww this is old#feels kind of weird to post it now but i had fun making it!#the project was rlly cute#my second ever zine <33#credit to my sister for drawing the doodles!#she did the lines i did the color#truly the collab of the century#art updates - i've been doing a lot of sketching recently#might just be burnout speaking but it feels good to focus on lines w/out worrying about colors#totally unrelated fun fact: my internship gave me my first strand of grey hair#don't get me wrong it was a great experience! but also stressful#speaking of stress school starts in a week ahhhhh#in conclusion stay silly stay sane
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i may or may not have made full designs for mercs in an rp i'm doing...
rb > likes or smth
misc + og designs under cut :thumbs up:
here's them before i started colouring
most of these are pretty gimmicky on purpose, also i changed a cuple of stuff here and there
for the sake of the rp i designed these kill feeds (more or less inspired by those chat devices someone made for dsmp that one time) (it's a little primitive, but it only has to be functional)
there is a v.2 which has the form of a watch (you can see it on sniper, spy and engie) (it also has a mode where instead of sending notifications it vibrates, thought it would be fun for sneaking) (maybe it even has a walke talkie function, yk, for team comms) (i didn't draw but it's all fictional anyway)
i kept some on my hcs in these ddesigns too, like engi's and Pyro's special goggles and tails and
i also removed Medic's lab coat because... well... he doesn't have it on...
i removed Sniper's facial hair too because i ended up hating it hfsgfe
there's also this uh,, thing i made
(yes, i made spy look and pose like that on prpose lmao)
#and yeah that's it#no beta we die like archimedes on the battlefield /j#anyways ms paint is the best art program change my mind#i experimented with the proportions a little in the beginning#you can see it in scout and sniper#but i ended up not sticking with it very much as you can see fgysgfe#my friend plays the red team teehee#they also have a red army robin oc. Pep beloved#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 oc#engie tf2#engineer tf2#sniper tf2#spy tf2#medic tf2#soldier tf2#scout tf2#heavy tf2#pyro tf2#demoman tf2#demo tf2#tf2 headcannons#misterious stranger fallout 4#it's 1 am and i have to get up for school at 7 am#i am going to commit die /nsrs#if anyones wondering btw i made these of loadout.tf#very cool site#you can spin them#gunslinger
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yukari coming out (yukamitsu)
#persona 3#yukamitsu#yukari takeba#mitsuru kirijo#my art#p3 reload#p3 fes#persona 3 reload#p3#ok their jealousy vibe just seemed homosexual to me#maybe im projecting about my closeted high school experience#but i love yukamitsu’s slow opening up to each other#if I messed up the perspective you don’t see it. you don’t
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The clones’ extracurriculars and hobbies~ 💕
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I tried to edit some of my drawings so they look like they fit together (I couldn’t get Confucius and Topher to work in the same pic tho agh) but this series was very fun to draw!!!
#I like thinking about what the clones do outside of school#like in the show they always skip summer break#DON’T SKIP SUMMER BREAK I wanna see what they do in their free time 🥲#unless they all avoid each other once school lets out#honestly pretty accurate to the highschool experience#for most of these I tried to give them different outfits#I like seeing them in different clothes#clone high#clone high fanart#fanart#my art#roxi's art#clone high jfk#clone high confucius#clone high Cleo#clone high Frida#clone high Joan#clone high Abe#clone high Topher#clone high Harriet
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Help I don't think I've ever posted these-
#i was experimenting with my art style a lot with these#safe ro say i don't think the sketch line art is here to stay#ariana griande#grian#ariana griande fanart#grian fanart#scarian#scarian fanart#desert duo fluff#desert duo#desert duo fanart#gtwscar#gtws#goodtimeswithscar fanart#GoodTimesWithScar#gtws fanart#gtwscar fanart#art#my art#fanart#fun fact both of these were draw during school hours where i should not have had my phone out yet i did
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toritsuak sexuality hc?
homophobic gay
#asks#saiki k#art tag#My friends on discord have already seen this#And now they’re gonna see it again hi guys#Thsi comic was inspired by years of experience being an openly gay person in public school
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