#art isnt just for consumption

[meissashush]

So, something new to keep track of.

The tags Niji and Nijijourney are in reference to AI art.

I'm not going to stand on a soapbox and try to sway anyone's minds about anything, but I personally don't enjoy engaging with or seeing AI art. There's too many ethical concerns and not enough oversight. If I see someone using it, they're being blocked. If I accidentally reposted any work containing it before realizing it, I'm sorry and I will look to remove it.

Artist block sucks, but I'm not using AI to write my fics and I don't enjoy seeing it in art of any kind.

Make your own decisions, and make your own damn art.

[transmutationisms]

have you seen the articles on ai supposedly eating up tons of water a day on continuous use? bc ive only seen those articles circulate in spaces where they also think ai doesnt have a soul and is stealing art so. i was wondering if you had any thoughts. i tried to go through and compare them w the water usage of other common things (ie normal office laptops, planes, etc) but stats of this kind isnt really my strong suit

to my knowledge, those articles are true, but a bit misleading in that they don't tend to discuss the context (resource use for computing in general). i think the implicit argument is that, when it's 'ai' using water, this is a particular travesty because 'ai' is particularly stupid / useless / unethical. which is not really a good way to frame this discussion because it evades a broader conversation about resource use and technology. i think the tech sector is like the meat industry in that the current consumption levels by a very small number of wealthy westerners are simply unsustainable and will not scale; that doesn't mean that in a communist future no computers or animal foods will exist, but the idea that it's normal to eat meat daily or replace a smartphone every 24 months or whatever is pretty blatantly predicated on imperial relations of exploitation and resource extraction.

so just to say that i don't know what is the place of 'ai' in a just and sustainable degrowth communism, but determining that requires a much broader conversation about technology and access to it. it's silly to act like 'ai' is uniquely a problem in terms of the tech sector's resource consumption (i think people are modelling this on the wave of similr articles about cryptocurrency, but many of those were also silly and the ones that weren't, were pointing out that crypto mining requires massive amounts of redundant work to be done, and in that sense actually is more wasteful than other comtech).

i'm also not sure that the comparisons to, like, pouring out a bottle of water are accurate because can't the cooling water be reused? i don't know enough about data facility practices to answer that though lol

[tmwcs]

hey reinaa this req is def something 🫣🫣

so like heethan and reader like live together and reader isnt feeling well, and she slept in like a skimpy nightdress so her tits and ass are out (idek how to start it) anyways heethans cooking her breakfast like eggs or something and cvms in it 😭😭 then hes like feeding it to her while stroking her head n shit and asking her if she likes it, and shes like yes (obviously) and is completely oblivious to it then smut or whatever

thank uu if u do this

”Tell me…how does it taste?”

warnings: so if you read the prompt…yeah, consumption of bodily fluids in not such a traditional manner lol. But it’s quite juicy. Implications of rough smut, smut described in subtle detail, unprotected sex (implied) and yeah…think that’s it. ;)

Stretching out the aches from last night’s session, the opening between your thighs sting with a sense of looseness throbbing mercilessly. A reminder of what your beloved fiancé had put you through, all for the sake of pleasure, pain, and love. Hard love. 

…………….

“Look at me. I said look…”

“Mmmmm…..nnnnngh!”

“That’s right…shhh….take it like I showed you…like how I trained you to.”

“Mmmm….mmmmph!!”

“Watch me…watch me….fuck….going deeper….”

……………

The vague images of Heeseung and Ethan swapping out, taking turns as they stuck their thumb in your mouth, while the remainder of their digits hooked your chin as they forced you to look their way, were all like still images in a memory drive. Heeseung pulled, thrusted, and swallowed your moans with his kisses while Ethan pushed, pumped, and slurped the drool from your mouth. You squabble aimlessly, putting forth whatever strength you had to get just the tiniest bit of distance, all to ease up the tension of his throbbing cock as he made himself fit; filling you entirely. 

You wondered for a moment, as your warm feet touch the flooring—cooled by the brisk morning temperature of near freezing, would it even be possible for you to be considered an exceptional candidate for a partner and wife, if something has happened to Heeseung and he was no longer around? Not that that wouldn’t happen, you knew that your thoughts were strictly hypothetical, yet it was a valid thought. Because the man had taken you so many times since the beginning, and has delightfully feasted and punctured your flesh, to the point that despite never experiencing pregnancy or childbirth, not yet, you wondered if your womanhood was beyond dignified. Heeseung was a stallion of all sorts, his momentum, size, and pace was unmatchable, and there was no way that any man wouldn’t be able to tell that you had been ravished. Good thing that Heeseung, and Ethan, has both claimed you for life—and that no matter how many times you both engage in the heat of sexual passion, they remarked how it always felt as good as the first time, why wouldn't they? With all that length and girth, they barely fit and required you to be extra moist in order for them to punch it in. This all further convinced you tha if ever you were without them, surely you’d be doomed to remain single forever. 

Heeseung wasn’t in bed, you sat over the edge, taking your time to adjust your body and to get ready. Still nude, you figured you should start the day off with a warm shower, but suddenly, the door opens, and there he was. 

“Hey, good morning pretty. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes. You?” You chuckle, when he was rough and hard with his love, he was intense and passionate, sexy and dominating. Yet when he was calm and all honey, he was sweet and the love was a different type than the one he eludes at night. It was a soft, delicate love, one that was admiring and caring. 

“Good. I made you breakfast.”

You looked at him somewhat wide eyed, Heeseung, much less his Ethan side, never dabbled into the art of cuisine creation. They admitted openly and yet, here they were, with Heeseung’s dashing smirk and Ethan’s dark gaze, they split the shred body 50/50 as they presented you a plate of messily scrambled eggs, semi-burnt toast—with jelly sloppily drooling over the edge of the crust, and a small glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, with pulp staining the rim of the glass. You smiled, even though the plate had a humorous display, you knew he did his best. 

“Oh my gosh, you cooked for me?” You smiled gleefully as you looked up, to which the man before you nodded in silence and even had a faint of bashful sense in his countenance. “I tried.” He calmly states, clearing his throat as his deep voice spoke modestly in response to your grateful reaction. 

“Baaaaabe, thank you! I’m going to eat ever last bite.”

“I hoped you would.” His words were sharp, deep, and somewhat quiet as he pressed out the response under a breath. You didn’t catch it. 

“What was that babe?” 

“Oh nothing. Just talking to myself. Let me know how it tastes.”

You took a bite of the eggs, and tossed the fluffed texture around as you savored the taste. “You seasoned the eggs?” You chuckled as you rolled your tongue, taking in the semi-pungent saltiness as you swallowed. He smiles as his eyes widen with an expressive sense of delight. 

“I did, do you like it?”

“I do.” You nodded politely. It was a bit saltier than what you preferred but it was the first time the man has ever stepped foot in the kitchen to cook, you weren’t going to discourage him, besides…a little salt does good for the body. 

He takes a seat next to you, takes the fork from you hands and places his free palm on the back of your head. Initially you looked at him curiously, but the moment you witnessed him sternly looking at the plate, forking a cluster of eggs, and bringing it to your face, you smiled adorably as you opened to take in the bite. He smirks and chuckles, placing a kiss on your cheek as he continues to feed you every last morsel. “Does my baby like it?”

You nod. “Mmhmm.”

“Good girl.”

…………….

Earlier…

He woke up before the sun has a chance to kiss the moon to sleep. Prior to getting out of bed, he looks down and admires his sleeping beauty. “Damn she’s pretty…” he whispers to himself. How lucky is he to have you? Well, the truth was, he wasn’t lucky, just smart. Smart enough to know that he had to get you, from the very first moment he laid eyes on you, and he planned, lied, and deceived in order to accomplish his goal….he got you. 

His member begins to harden at the sight of you, and as much as he was tempted to get at you again, he knew that after last night, he has to give you some time to catch up on your rest. You’re such a trooper, always taking him and his Ethan side without complaint, pleasing them as you took one after the other, allowing them to take turns as they pumped you up with every bit of juice they had to give. Yes, you’re such a good girl. A good, and pretty little girl. 

Always the one to show his dying love for you, Heeseung heads into the kitchen. He didn’t know what item from which in order to cook, thank goodness for YouTube. 

With the toaster ticking, and the eggs sizzling in butter, he plays around the yolk and whites, zoning out as the image of your face from last night makes him grow. You always looked so helpless, whenever he’s fucking you, and God….does he love it. 

With his thoughts triggered, an idea pops in mind. You were his…you belong to him. Even if you had wanted to leave, he knew that that was not how you truly felt, you both are in love and he claimed you the moment he laid eyes on you. You will always be under his thumb, his beautiful flower, his delicate princess…only his. 

Since he’s claimed you in more ways than one, why not expand it and introduce another manner in ‘claiming’ you? 

Grabbing onto the base, with the image of your teary face bumping up and down as he thrusted into you repeatedly the night prior, he strokes his member. God…he was so close to shutting everything off, rushing up the stairs so he could fuck you in your sleep. He was tempted, but he maintained some sense of control as he continued to stroke and thrust his palm, going faster and faster as he groans until finally… 

“Fuuuuuuuck…!” He whispers under a harsh breath, chest deeply heaving as his nostrils flare. He leans over, palm gripping the edge of the counter as he catches his breath, gasping for air. Decorating the eggs, he unleashes every last bit of what he could draft up since last night, and felt satisfied at the result. Stirring the eggs, he turns off the stove and slides it all on a plate. Adding the other ingredients, he organizes the breakfast tray and brings it up. He’ll be so happy to see you take him in, in a way that you’re not used to taking him, but it’s just as good. Besides…

“You know pretty baby, a little salt does good for the body.”

Perm Taglist:

@enheene , aiden2001 , heeseung-min , lathan1510 , rayofsunshineeee , @hoyeonheeseung , @rayofsunshineeee , @yohanabanana , @sunoosrightbuttcheek , @jaeneohee , @icydawon , @silcry , @iamliacamila , @nikstrange , @enheene ; @nuriicata

[enden-k]

hey! i absolute love your art and specially your ocs. i don't know if anyone asked you already and i apologize if you already answered this but i was wondering how did you came up with vika and saran's dynamic? i find them really interesting and appealing to see and i wanted to know your thoughts on how they came to be. sorry if i didn't make much sense, hope you have a good day!

oh its just a dynamic i really enjoy (mutual obsession; intense, extreme, true love to the point of consumption in any way; anything but "normal" (for a lack of better word, i hate this word) love) but dont rlly see bc of ppl either making everything extremely vanilla and pure bc theyre afraid most of the time, or the constant noncon/one persons obsession w another whos scared/doesnt want it in comics and i dont like the one and the other thing

i dont want them to force themselves on the other but i dont want clinically pure romance either. i need them both to be crazy as shit, to be obsessed with other and the other wanting it too

theres also some other stuff i dont really wanna get into. lets just say, im interested in looking into love itself and imagining how it is. its safe and not scary when i study it through art and not irl. bc i think if i (or maybe anyone else whos not uhh. like me) would experience a fraction of sarans or vikas love, i would actually go insane(r) from intensity lol

i kinda like mutual obsession/a level of possessiveness; i like not the cutesy, cozy simmer of affection beneath your skin but the full blown, all consuming love eating you whole; i like the need to be the only thing in your beloveds gaze and mind; i like that intensity of love, it makes you want to crawl inside your beloveds body to fully quench your need to be close them; the need to consume them to keep them as close to you as possible; i dont want power imbalance but both of them on the same level and same intensity of love. i want them both to give and to take. its so hard to put in words and i can only hope i can bring it across w them properly

anw yeah. when i started writing amygdala out, my plan was to make a lovestory like i already said before since i usually dont do lovestories when it comes to original works (i tend to do horror/dark fantasy/comedies); its just, its a lovestory in my way, ultimate love how i perceive it

i love gross or eerie things behind a pretty and/or seductive/erotic layer; the beauty of horror and unusual things and over it all, smth pure and innocent (be it by looks or concept. in this case, its vika and their love)

i think amygdala isnt only a lovestory between saran and vika but also a lovestory in the sense of things i just really love (mutual obsession and deep true love, consumption, ghosts, tentacles im not even joking, horror,....)

tl;dr: man i love octopus

sorry this got so long and i feel like i dissociated somewhere in the middle of it so im sorry if this makes no sense, doesnt answer anything or if im jumping around. literally going insaner than i already am over my own characters here wahh

[digitulworld]

theres a lot of things about bob that interest me and i want to know more about. because i am a lunatic. warning for dozens upon dozens of paragraphs about my favorite evil man

first of all. his pendant. obviously he lived through multiple gunshots and getting run over, but because the pendant was injured, he weakened. once it was removed, he died. i doubt he'll come back nor will the cult want him to come back. then again we have no idea what role he played in the cult or if he was in it just for the immortality

he does Not strike me as the type of guy to willingly involve himself in the supernatural, and in his concept art we see that he doesnt wear the robe all the time, instead hes in his boys & grills outfit serving food to the other members. tldr hes just the cults lunchlady

i do NOT know if bob thinks of himself more highly than others. i have a very weird theory that bob eats human flesh because he knows he cannot succumb to any illness that follows from it thanks to the pendant he wears. it might be why hes so eager to eat candy n shit off the floor without thinking twice; he thinks he'll be fine! he can indulge as much as he wants and flaunts his knowledge on how dangerous consuming human flesh is at the same time, or how common drinking blood is, or how to kill someone quickly and painlessly. he seems like hed be a showoff... he knows too much. or maybe hes always just been really interested in meat and eventually got a little Too into it

also i am aware eating humans at all can make you sick, cooked or not, but i like to believe that because he puts the meat in greasy burgers, people assume whatever sickness they get from it is from the fact that its fast food, and not assume theres human meat in whatever they ate

related to this, theres gotta be some connection between him starting off most of his lines with "did you know..." then having one of his last lines start with "yall dont know anything!"

second of all... his connection with lila also interests me. when it comes to the fat + thin thieves, we know theyve been trying to collect images and items from her husband who is implied (or confirmed) to be part of the cult. therefore they attempt to break in multiple times. bob does the same thing with the intent to kill, more than once, and im wondering if he plans to kill her for consumption, or for the cult. that or he does intend on killing her, and has permission from the cult to do so. orrr hes doing all this against their wishes...

its hard to pinpoint any specific motives from him other than he just wants to Eat. he gets easily sidetracked when trying to target someone, distracted when attempting to corner and kill someone, and frustrated once he begins to realize after a Long day of effort that he will not get what he wants

this isnt to say bob is an idiot. he clearly has experience. he uses the kids motives (wanting candy) as a lure, and does what they want (hide & seek) in order to come across as "safer" for them to approach, before he eventually gets them. it just feels like he treats this like a game. he spends so long savoring his time stalking and playing with the victims, then gets upset when they manage to escape. what did you think was gonna happen man

i say all this even though this is your typical villain behavior stuff. a villains gotta act a little stupid and egotistical in order for the protagonists to win yknow. but its still fun to tie this in with his gluttony, since it shows that not only is his desire to eat others his motive, but also his biggest downfall

all this considered, once the pendant was removed, i have left to wonder if it was just the gunshots that killed him, or the arm he ate not long ago

also something something the bullet holes on bobs chest look like the heads of the cult robes. did they know

TO SUM EVERYTHING UP: i cannot be typing all this for a guy named bob this is ridiculous

[vang0bus]

i have a problem with the whole discourse around media consumption because where you draw the line between what is and isnt media consumption is entirely arbitrary. is writing analysis essays brainless media consumption? what about making fanart? fanfiction? if you say making fanart and fanfic arent just consuming media, what about making gifsets? at what point does something become transformative enough or creative enough? and if you say transformative works are still brainless media consumption, at what point does something become original enough? isnt all art derivative? where do you draw the line

[natsmagi]

yeah as someone with slightly ridiculous boobs next to my body it is very much not "the standard" in anything. it's insanely hard to find clothes and underwear that fit and people treated me like an adult basically from puberty ... yes, it has mainstream appeal, but appeal for consumption isn't real appreciation. being able to, in the right underpinnings, have the proportions of an anime png just gets you treated with as little respect as the anime png :(

right!!! like do these people realize that something being "portrayed alot" doesnt mean its Good?? and that a lot of the time it can be super harmful for those its portraying....

and im sorry u have to deal with that anon :( it really sucks to see this behavior be so normalized. its like no matter where you look theres people being blatantly misogynistic and shaming TMA bodies, and thats so baffling. i wonder if the hyping up from their similarly close-minded friend circles is worth it

but!!! i am very happy to hear that there are people who DONT subscribe to these ideas!! it always makes me super happy when people say they feel happy or more confident in their bodies when they see their body type depicted in my art!! im well aware that my stuff isnt super diverse, so obviously not every single person is going to relate to what i make, but im glad at least that those who Do find joy in it!! and im very lucky to be part of a community this lovely and kind ❤️ obviously this dumb blog isnt gonna solve sexism, but i really want people to love themselves, aswell as one another.........

[petewentzisblack1312]

hello! i’ve just started getting into soul punk after putting it off for no reason, i was wondering if you had any favorite songs or lyrics from the album! you have such good taste & opinions so im curious what you think

YES soul punk is like my favourite album ever. greed is my favourite song hands down but i dont think you can really go wrong with anything. patrick has a completely different approach to lyrics than pete. i feel like his approach to lyrics is kind of like my approach to art. utilitarian. he is aiming to execute an idea. greed is a shining example of that to me because it is so focused on a theme and on the cadence and rhythm of the words. his lyrical style is not like petes. i dont know what word id use to contrast them. its not depth, i think petes words are just more... intimate. than patricks. even when patrick is writing about something intimate to his experience like on ally it just isnt as raw or naked as petes lyrics.

anyway!! greed! i dont want to do a full analysis rn because im eepy and dont think id do it justice but i think the first verse, the first line, really, shows what i mean. 'consumption is consuming me/the laissez hasnt been fair to me' is just a really rhytmic, wry, witty line. not that he doesnt mean it, just that he says what he means through a veneer. does that make sense?

[yekkiz]

it’s that time of year again… 🎄🎅🎉🎊 no. the highlights of your 2023 media consumption of course! just like last year, i want to know your top 5 films, books, tv shows, songs/albums, pop culture moments if that’s your thing, and as a bonus: any favourite personal moment/achievement in the last year? new to you, new in release, either works! can’t wait to see your response and wishing you a happy new year! 😁🩷

HEY!!! I'm adding media I've loved this year wether it was released this year or not if thats ok but most of these did in fact release during 2023

long paragraph..,,

top 5 films

Beau is afraid - absolute favorite 2023 movie, Ari Aster will never fail to get into the depths of my brain in such beautiful and traumatising ways...it was truly a ride - watched it twice in the span of a week because the itch inside couldn't stop itching god it was so good, it felt like a dream and a nightmare and god knows how bad i love things that feel like dreams and nightmares, the mystery of what it means to "dream"

Talk to me - YES!!!! great horror!!!!! BEST montage scene of the year (yes. that scene with Le Monde song) great great great rhythm it felt like 2000s horror. simple main plot doesn't always mean its gonna be predictable or boring, LOVE a good "not so original" idea when its greatly made and this is the perfect example! classic horror is so back

Infinity pool - insane. loved every second of this. original premise, critic message, GREAT cast, sick visuals...Mia Goth the actress that you are

M3GAN - camp! not much else to say really. watched it a couple times during the year it's just become a personal comfort movie i just love that doll shes everything to me

Pearl - yeah I watched this way too late.........for an A24 horror enjoyer.... sorry father for i have sinned. Rewired my brain chemistry, changed my life forever, did irreversible damage on my psyche etc. Beautiful splendind wonderful i CAN'T wait for maxxxine

top ¿? shows

haven't watched many remarkable shows but there we go with my little ranking...

Severance - incredible visuals, incredible storyline, amazing concept overall, can't wait for season 2

Better Call Saul - this show is all I breathe and Im genuinely worried that I won't be able to like a show as much as I like bcs - fav show i've ever watched, genuinely

La Mesías - best 2023 spanish show.............i love shows i love media i love art. when i watch things like this i feel so honored i'm able to witness such things for so little payment like. this isnt worth a suscription i feel like i owe more for letting me see such thing. i feel like im a voyeur when i encounter media that's so carefully made, with so much taste and eye for detail...like i shouldn't be allowed to watch through my laptop screen in my bedroom . just wow if you have the chance and find a sub version i can't recommend it enough

that was my top 2023, other shows ive watched...just rewatched the office, currently rewatching breaking bad, I think you should leave...

top 5 albums/songs

Desire, I want to turn into you - Caroline Polachek - so ethereal, so dreamy, feels like a movie and like when you fall in love and start noticing things you usually never paid attention to - the beauty of your hometown, your lover's hands or how their smile folds in certain ways when they see you, even how you perceive yourself differently

fav track - either I believe or butterfly net

Fanfare - Dorian Electra - from one extreme to the other..complete chaos and noise and I'm soooooo seated for it! such a complete album with 0 skips, always gonna love a fame themed record that talks about things that aren't relatable at all and gotta love the pop culture moments aswell, they're always so campy yet manage to be deep at times i love an unserious but self aware king what can i say!

fav track - wanna be a star

American Gurl - Kilo Kish - oh i love love this album i love the sound of it, the videogame vibe...every single song is so addictive I'll be minding my business and a random song from this album will pop into my head

fav track - no apology!

Preacher's Daughter - Ethel Cain - well this was certainly something it literally felt like a horror movie and of course I'm so here for it. terrifying, disgusting, sent shivers down my spine the first time I heard it on full length...and still does when I do. such a great album and def one of the best ones ive ever heard, top 5 for sure

fav track - family tree

Ultraviolence - Lana del Rey - yeah i'm 10 years late and thank god I am bc only god knows the irreversible damage this would have done to teenager me

fav track - florida kilos

2023 personal highlights

started the year doing a really nice trip that somehow helped me clear thoughts about my future

I got accepted into the masters degree I wanted which also gave me the chance to meet so many cool people and make so many good friends <3

I've been able to draw soooooooo much - my arm is doing sooo much better

got a tattoo I really wanted! got that flash design in my mind for a while and it's finally on me

this year was so hard for me and my family and it was such a challenge. I'm so proud we could manage through it all, and hopefully this year is easier on us

thanks so much for the ask Imo! sorry I wrote a lot and half of it it's just nonsense though!! I wish you a happy new year <333

[mihai-florescu]

Do you agree with me that we should get rid of "death of the author" and that we should introduce "death of the audience" instead?

"Oooh but how will other people interpret this-" I don't know! I don't care! I wanna know what goes on inside the brain of the person who actually put their time and effort and soul into this. Not five million other people who Did Not Create the Thing.

(Sorry if this is weird but you feel like the most qualified person i know to have an opinion on this)

Disclaimer, im big on believing 2 things coexist at the same time about everything. My mood swings put me in black and white thinking often, but when i can think clearly from both perspectives im still a contrarian and have counter points for my counter points. Im gonna word vomit an answer, im not good at ordering my thoughts but i hope its fine still.

Oh brother i used to go on rants about this (authorial intent, media consumption, fandom culture etc) all of last semester and it's what ultimately led to me giving up on my degree and serious art altogether... i'll attach a few i found in my archive i think are relevant if youre curious beep meep meow. I was writing these posts at the same time as my thesis paper which was more hopeful and aiming to reframe what we consider escapism, but in the end by the finale (last assessment) the hatred won in my heart and i couldnt make a visual project with an audience in mind. I made something, but it was more like a rant with visuals and absolutely failed the "whats the future of this project?" question. Must it have a future for an audience? Its job was to be a confession and a respite, for my own expression. I dont want an audience, im too much of a misanthropic hater and possessive mother to let others see or interpret my ideas. I know it's selfish and counterproductive but i cant help it. You sending this ask made me laugh since it was so relevant to my struggles this year. Id love to break out of this cycle and mindset but i always go back here to these beliefs.

Anyway... i do think the sensible truth is somewhere in the middle. Reader's interpretation is essential for works to gain life in the world and to outlive their authors, and i revere stories for the ability to touch people's hearts and make them learn things about themselves as well as other's way of thinking (reading is a process of interpretation and contemplation afterall isnt it? Well, active reading at least. Citation to my written thesis). But im not a fan of fandom lens interpretations that so often flatten stories.

I think for our shared stories of interest authorial intent is particularly fun to think about. Commercial works made to sell gacha games but which do have heart and profound messages theyre trying to convey. But also made with an audience in mind. I havent been able to formulate any particularly riveting conclusions, but i would love to know if anyone has focused on such topics. Everything deserves analysis and attempts at understanding... and i find authorial intent an invaluable insight that can never be cast aside. Works gain lives of their own after theyre set free into the world, but they dont spawn fully formed from thin air ready for "consumption"...

Uuu im trying to decide if i should link to you a story about storytelling i wrote and illustrated in a day, and a video about humanity and the power of imagination as salvation and damnation... if i say "i'll share them, but only if you erase from your mind that i wrote them" it'd be hypocritical after everything i just spilled out. But too much knowledge about the author is scary too... not for the audience as much as the author himself. It's the audience who has the final laugh of judgement and interpretation... but it's scary to let others into your mind, to see things you spent time and energy on? I wish i could channel my death of the audience defiance into proudly sharing works without caring who sees them rather than deciding nothing is worth making anymore since im so mistrustful. Alas! Maybe one day i'll stop being a self absorbed, self sabotaging prey animal

[schizononagesimus]

ugh every time i Scroll my brain goes "but look I made you some cooooontent, daddy made you your favorite open wide" and i get so sad because all i want is to be able to enjoy things. all i want is to stop scrolling and actually find things to enjoy. i want to enjoy things. when i scroll it's an endless search for something that will actually make me feel something, something i like. and i rarely find something that scratches the itch. all of the tv shows are never as good as the last one i watched. none of the games or the books are as good as the last thing i consumed. i am so tired of consumption. i want to create. but i dont always have the ability to create. i dont always have the ideas or mental energy to write. i want to paint or woodwork but i dont have the space. when im ill especially this is the case, and im ill a lot. ive been sick since i was a kid and never felt the enjoyment other kids did in staying at home or being in hospital and getting to watch movies or play games endlessly. for me all i could feel was pain, and in that pain i couldn't focus on Content. i can't even lounge around and consume when im tired and need a break because ive already consumed all the things i like. there is an endless void that cannot be filled, and an endless search, and an endless wait for the next upload, the next episode, the next season, the next book release. and this isnt a new issue for me caused by the increasingly algorithmic internet. ive been doing this my whole life. as a kid i would play my favorite dragon quest or animal crossing game to death until the next one came out. the harry potter books. the star wars movies. and as i got older i was excited by tumblr and youtube and fanfiction, places where people would talk and write and make art about those things so i could fill the void in its absence, and that helps to this day. but what do i do when ive exhausted it all, or when it is too emotionally exhausting to find something new to invest myself in, or when that recommendation my friend gave doesn't quite hit? nothing, including school, was ever stimulating enough for me, and that remains the case. graduate work is interesting but a lot of it is a slog of the same damn thing. the same articles that remain relevant to the field each class, another lightning talk, another seminar lead. my research fascinates me, and yet there's so much waiting and clerical work between getting to the point where i can enjoy it. and then finally ive created the content! and now i have to wait for the next project idea, the next article publication, the next conference. i dont need a new hobby or a new job or a new anything. something is wrong with all this and i just dont know what it is, because every time i find some new Content that i love it eventually goes away. everything new to me eventually becomes old and something must come next, but it is seldom that something comes, and it is seldom that it meets my unintentionally strict criteria for something Good. there always has to be something new, and with some urgency. im tired and i dont know how to make it stop. there is an extent to which i can see the thread that connects the things i like- love, and human connection. and with that i also seek the contact of friends constantly. but that's not always an option. i feel so stuck.

[dullahandyke]

post got long whoops. tldr autism plus unmedicated adhd equals media hellscape

have recently come to the realisation that ive had a complex about art consumption for a long long time, stemming from when i was a tween watching playthroughs and reviews and never playing or watching the stuff the reviews were based on. and some of that was because i was young and didnt have a computer to play danganronpa on, but i've been pirating shows as long as i've been on the internet, yet i never watched any of the anime all the youtubers talked about because it was safer and easier to listen to them talk about it and the culture than it was to ever have to seek out something i liked, to have to have my own thoughts about it. and that's followed me for at least 7 years at this point, and like, fuck, man, i wanna get out of that, but like, it's just so easy to sink into fanon. i don't watch youtube reviews anymore, but i've gotten into more than one fandom almost solely by reading a shitton of fanfiction about it. and i (former owner of yourfavehasfewerficsthanthislamp [eimear lore, veterans discount, etc]) am well aware that fanon near-universally flattens and disregards its characters and stories, saying 'fuck canon' and often for valid reason but rarely making anything better than it, but hell, it's just something to shove down my gob. it feels like easy reading, like i don't have to have my own big thoughts about symbolism and characterisation because someone else has done it for me, and it's shitty to treat fanfiction as inherantly less meaningful, but i do it anyway because it feels like the reading equivalent of having momma bird chew my food for me, and it makes me feel guilty but it keeps me fed! and i've found that a solution for this is to get into something that i've never seen anyone talk about, that nobody knows the Right Opinions for, and blade of the immortal has been wonderful for that! it's a good manga that's so long that it deters anyone from following me down the rabbit hole on a whim, and i like having my own little pit! but then i read another manga and i post about it and someone replies with an observation on the manga, and i think to myself, 'oh god', i think, 'now the neighbours are coming over and i have to clean the living room, i have to make sure my opinions are fully-formed and my appreciation is proper and there's not any mess', and even then there's a shitty bit that feels indignant because i liked to feel special, unique, like i was the only person that knew that manga and someone else has shattered that illusion, and i know i should be happy to share it but i never quite grew out of wanting to feel cool and obscure and like things were MINE. and the thing is that the more i read only fanfiction, the more i can literally feel my braincells dwindling, and i WANT to read something more substantial, because i know that if i pick up a novel or a manga or even the base material for the fic im reading, then i'll have fun and feel intelligent, but it feels like building myself up to opening that book is a chore that opening ao3 simply isnt. i've wanted to finished batman year one, i've wanted to read the hunchback of notre dame, but what i end up reading is a 33k batfam fic that i barely even read, that i only ever skim because slowing down and appreciating things and sitting with them, even just slowing down to actually read them, feels less like the direct hit of stimulus that skimming is. and so i've decided that the logical conclusion is to 1) get into media that i have never in my life seen on tumblr, that none of you fuckers could ask me about if you tried and 2) never ever post about it or search for community around it. to allow myself to read things wrong and to not have the pressure of feeling like there's someone over my back in all this, like i'm not in fandom or criticising fandom but just existing on my lonesome. potentially even to the point of going on break from tumblr for a bit, because i love you fuckers and this is a neutral statement but fandom is unavoidable on here. and i would for sure come back to tumblr and i would maybe come back to less obscure shit once i

hold on tumblr has a text block character limit. anyway once i built up more confidence in myself and didnt feel any pressure to have the right opinions about shit, even if i never engaged in fandom again but instead just kept up with some popular stuff, like an office worker who casually watches breaking bad or whatever. and this is really what i should be doing, and maybe not now because the leaving is in *checks watch* literally a month and a half oh fuck. and i need to focus my brainpower on that (lol as if thats gonna happen) but i cant make a concerted effort towards the leaving if im working on reforming my media habits. but even in the summer i could do it and i should do it, and cut back a little now to make it easier than going cold turkey.

which is why now was THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME to get into batman via take-a-fucking-guess ding-ding-ding fanfiction osmosis, something which is both 1) undeniably mainstream enough that the odds of me meeting people in real fucking life to ask me about my Correct Opinions are higher than i would like them to be and 2) a labyrinth thats been built over the course of like 80 years, out of comics and movies and shows and games and the comics alone are a mess of timelines and reboots and crossovers and whoops-this-character-is-in-this-comic-now-better-fuck-off-over-there-if-you-want-to-find-them that wreaks absolute HELL upon my 'i wanna be sooo well informed and read all the stuff and take no shortcuts' approach that kicks in whenever i DO start actually engaging in shit instead of just the fandom.

like sigh ill muddle through it because i picture dick grayson in motivational posters nowadays to help me do shit like get out of bed and climb stairs and take out my books, and i wanna return the favour, and like im getting closer 2 figuring out how to approach it (turns out the answer is 'one step at a time'. fucking shocker) but also fucking christ. idk idk idk ill go finish batman year one and then at some point ill watch the 2022 batman movie and then ill figure out where to go from there

[weezley]

What concerns me is how many people do more harm to the social justice movement by proclaiming consumption is a black-and-white thing. They shit on people for consuming Harry Potter, and yet most of the media they consume themselves is made by a bigoted capitalist fuck somewhere down the line. If you don’t consume Harry Potter because it’s problematic, but you’re simultaneously consuming the NFL, Amazon, Kanye West, Detroit Become Human, reality TV, Chick-fil-a, etc., you are just a hypocrite who’s harming movements with your childish finger-pointing. What’s more important is bringing awareness to the problematic viewpoints these "bigoted artists" have in your opinion, not gatekeeping who consumes their art. People are still very free to then act as they please.

the fact is, most normal people dont care about the discourse. they just like harry potter.

actually it is healthy and good to be able to take a piece of art and say "huh, this is flawed and here's why but i can still appreciate it for xyz!"

cancel culture is puritanical bullshit and i dont support it. i dont care if you hate jk rowling, frankly i think shes a pile of trash, but that doesnt discount the fact that harry potter is a cultural phenomena that isnt going to go away.

the choice to ignore nuance in favor of some imaginary purity standard to meet the requirements of the internet for fear of being labeled a bad person? no thanks. ill take the meaningless labels.

[stropdraws]

hi! did you ever get to develop or play alecto? I love the art you did for her so much

thank you!! unfortunately i did not T-T

although, i did borrow a lot of her concepts for a critrole OC ("strop," i hear you asking, "isn't that just another d&d character." and you would be right. but also wrong.) AND i'm now in a shadowrun campaign ft. an equally-wretched woman who i Really Sould draw properly at some point

(one of these days i also need to draw alecto's patron*, aka the mistress of blades, who is a horrible beastly amalgamation of woman and wolf and blade and whose weapons really were never meant to fall into the hands of humans, because when they do, said humans end up Like That. her domain is the Hunt, not in the sense of the chase but in the consumption and the body of something else sustaining your body and the carcass left behind.

if you hold onto one of her weapons long enough it starts to transform you, and from the outside it looks like corruption but that implies evil and it's not really evil it's just...a wolf killing a deer or even a human isnt doing it out of malice. the things the mistress of blades gives to the hunt are only things meant to help with survival. but when you give those things to humans stuff goes wrong, because humans DO have the capacity for evil. so to protect you the sword has to make you into something that isn't human anymore.)

(but it's also not even like. "to protect you" because that implies it's deliberate, it's not it's just instinct again. all this just to say that in a world where she managed to get a handle on things alecto would be able to get down with some really funky werewolf shit, but for now she is simply Going Through It.)

anyways thnx for coming to my tedtalk

[sputnickle]

that post attempting to criticize people whose only hobbies are media consumption pisses me off sooo bad bc its obvious that to them media consumption means like. watching tv. as if media consumption isnt something that every human on the planet isnt both willingly and unwillingly participating in every single day of our lives because of just how broad the phrase media consumption is. it annoys me bc in creating media you have to consume media. you look at art to make art. you listen to music to make music. media consumption and creation are intrinsically linked and we’re all doing both at the same time. shut up

[dogluxer]

i rbd another critical AI art post making perpendicular points to the whole "AI art isnt real art" thing, that I think ends up being more important than these kinds of analogies - but the very end of this thread, in particular, speaks to me in a specific way.

Do you want to Create art or Consume art? Either one is completely fine - and creation usually requires some level of consumption anyway!

But someone can't spend centuries combing the Library of Babel to find a fully-formed novel, and then still claim that they "created" it. People have used an analogy of "commissioner" (the prompter) vs "artist" (the model) before, and I think it's pretty decent, but it misses one important thing: Diffusion models don't have an intentful "style" or "process" beyond denoising colorful static. When you prompt them, you're just restricting that denoiser to one particular section of a massively-multidimensional curve.

That's not creation; that's Google Images with a different search function.

of course that doesn't necessarily matter to the people who might want to replace writers and artists with "AI" lmao

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK