#around the cost of your energy and how much joy it brings you in return

[aro-culture-is]

Romance favorable aro culture is being a little sad that you won't get to meet someone who you'll have a fairytale ending with becuase you don't really fall in love. I'm still upset that I dont

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[mechformers]

Ma Miles - Ch. 12

8.1k words

Chapter warnings: Death, Depiction of dead people, Removing weapons from said dead people, wounds, blood, near-drowning experience, funeral of sorts. (I swear, this story has a happy ending lol Just be careful with these tags if they apply to you <3 )

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for commenting and sharing your excitement and thoughts with me! I really am so grateful and it brings me so much joy <3<3

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Previous Chapter | Masterpost | Chapter 13

Quaritch didn’t return with your son that night. Didn’t return to talk with you about what had happened between you. In fact, he didn’t return at all. As night presses on and a knock sounds at your door, it opens, only to reveal three heavily armed warriors. You go with them, still afraid to put up a fight in case they’ll retaliate when Spider eventually is returned to you. It’s early morning when you’re led back to your room, your body humming as it aches, your nose still freely dripping blood. They’re not getting anything out of you, you’re making sure of that, but the mental fight costs you a lot of energy. With the unit gone, you’re not being fed, the food they all collected in the common room on the other side of the locked door. You don’t remember falling asleep, but when you wake up you’re still on the ground where the warriors had left you, the sun streaming in through the see-through metal walls.

Getting yourself up to your feet, you hiss at the way your body aches. Stepping into the bathroom, you look at yourself in the reflection part of the wall, noting how the blood had left an ugly, crusted trail down your chin. Rubbing at it, you wince as it pulls at your skin before flaking and falling off. Opening the water stick, you opt for running water through the crusty blood, watching as it colors the water a dirty pink. Looking up at your own reflection again, you feel your heart sink at how tired you looked. As your stomach rumbles angrily, you close the water stick and wipe the excess water off your face with your hand.

The nest is warm when your tired body hits the blankets, sinking into the softness as your body immediately starts drifting again. When you open your eyes next, Eywa has draped the dark blanket of night over Pandora once more. There is still no sign of Spider, no sign of the unit as the hallway stays just as quiet as before. Rolling around to lay on your back, you stare up at the gray ceiling, letting your mind stay blessedly empty as you continue to rest. Your head hurt and your muscles were sore, aching with every small movement you made. Closing your eyes, you try to ignore the way your stomach aches or the way the hunger makes you nauseated.

Your meditative state is probably why you don’t hear the commotion going on outside before the door to your room swings open. Immediately, you’re on your feet, watching as Lyle leads Spider into the room, his big hand holding firmly onto the back of your son’s neck. You don’t understand what’s happening. Where was Quaritch?

“I’m sorry,” Lyle mumbles, unable to meet your eyes as he lets go of Spider before he backs up towards the door, closing it behind him.

No more than a blink of the eye goes by before Spider runs up to you, climbing your taller frame as you instinctively wrap your arms around him, feeling his strong little legs lock firmly behind your back. You feel his chest expand against yours and then, the first sob falls from his lips. It absolutely breaks your heart the way he wails, clinging to you as if his very life depended on it. Rocking him gently, you walk back and forth from the door to the see-through metal wall, letting your son cry his fill. While you wait, your anger and fury guilds inside of you, your mind coming up with different scenarios that might have upset your son like this. Everything had been wonderful the previous morning when he had left with his father. Spider had been so excited to fly on Cupcake again, to spend more time with Quaritch. What could have possibly happened?

In the end, Spider quiets down, his wailing becoming sobs that eventually dwindle down to a few sniffles before it dies down completely, your son’s head resting quietly on your shoulder as you continue to silently comfort him. You’ve never seen Spider cry this way before, never experienced this kind of heart-wrenching sorrow in your son. It makes you feel powerless in a world beyond your control.

“He burnt down the villages, mom,” Spider whispers, his voice rough from crying, “He killed the Olo’eyktan’s Ilu,”

“What are you saying, my dearest love?” The words your son whispers don’t register the way they should, because, if what you just heard actually happened…

But what Spider said was the truth. As you sat your son down in your nest, sitting down with him, he starts from the beginning, telling you about how they had gotten information about a helicopter flying to the islands to the east. He told you about how Quaritch took them all back to the base before leaving again only a few hours later, pressing Cupcake to catch up to a huge ship on the water. He told you about how he was forced to translate for the reef villages, the people, the Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk, talking way too fast for Quaritch to understand. Then, with tears in his eyes, he told you how his father had ordered Lyle to kill the Olo’eyktan’s Ilu and how everything had escalated from there. Rage filled you when Spider told you about how he begged his father not to shoot the Tsahìk, and how Quaritch instead burned down the village before dragging him away.

“He burned down two more villages after that, mom, and there was nothing I could do to help them,” The absolute heartache in your son’s voice made the fire inside of you burn brighter. “There was nothing I could do, mom…”

Collecting him in your lap once more, you hold him as close to you as possible, kissing his head and whispering to him how proud you were and how brave he had been. That he had done everything he could to help, that he had saved the Tsahìk. Inside of you, your blood boiled with rage. Quaritch had been so curious, so willing to learn, so… But it had all been this thing they called a lie. Of not speaking the truth. One of the cruel words that the sky people brought with them when they arrived all those years ago.

“Have you eaten?” You try to distract your son with something else when silence has claimed the room.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t very hungry,” Spider mumbles, his head resting on your chest where he sat in your lap, leaning into your body.

“That is good,” You cup the side of his head with your hand as you lean down to kiss his hair, wrapping your other hand around his waist.

Leaning back against the wall, you stare out of the see-through metal wall, wondering what was going on. Eywa had shown you that Quaritc was someone special, someone worth your patience and guidance when the atokirinas had covered him from top to toe. A clearer sign could not have been made and yet, he had turned against the Na’vi, against your son - against you. Closing your eyes, you listen to Spider’s breathing even out, your son exhausted from the emotional turmoil his father had put him through.

The sun has barely risen when the door to your room opens once more and this time, Quaritch walks in. His face is one of stone, but for a short moment, when his eyes land on you, it melts into something soft, something almost gentle while his ears round and rotates forward towards you. It’s gone in the next moment, his ears snapping back against his skull, his expression replaced by the stern coldness of the sky demon from all those months ago.

“Get to your feet, kid,” He growls out, gesturing with a hand motion for Spider to move.

Stepping out of your nest, you pull Spider behind your frame while backing up to the see-through metal wall. Squaring your shoulders, you level him with the most furious stare you could muster. Quaritch would not get to your son, would not lay a hand on him again as long as you could help it. When he steps forward, you hiss at him, the sound loud and menacing, halting him in his movement. His tail thrashes angrily behind him, the tip flicking rapidly back and forth with the movements.

“Step away from the window, sweetheart,” Quaritch drawls, scowling at you as his hands ball into fists by his side.

“I will not,” You sneer, stepping even further back into the window, creating a protective cocoon around your son against the cold metal.

“Step. Away,” Quaritch growls menacingly as he steps forward, making you hiss furiously loud, smacking your foot forward against the ground in a warning.

“I have never raised my hand at a woman before, but lord have mercy on my soul, you’re trying my patience, darling,” He sneers, the growl so deep it sends a shiver down your spine. “Lyle, Prager,”

You’re not moving, your resolve even stronger with his threat of harming you. But he’s too quick when he suddenly steps forward and reaches for your wrist, harshly pulling you away from the window and your son. Lyle and Prager step up from beside him, their hands binding yours behind your back as they force you to kneel on the ground before Quaritch. The sharp yellow eyes stare at you harshly before he steps up to Spider, hoisting him up over his shoulder. You thrash so wildly against Lyle and Prager, that two more hands come to hold you down.

“Spider!” You scream for your son, watching in horror as he thrashes against Quaritch, rolling and thrusting his body to loosen his grip on him. “No!”

“Shut your pie hole, woman” Quaritch growls menacingly as he walks past where you’re pinned to the floor, screaming and hissing as you call for your son.

“Mooom!” Spider howls as he twists, his knee connecting with the demon’s nose and just for a moment his feet hits the ground, sprinting towards you before he’s lifted up again. “No, put me down, you monster!”

You can hear him long after the demon has taken your son away from you, his screams echoing down the hallway, stinging your bleeding heart. You’re bound before suddenly, the people holding you down disappear, sprinting out of the door, shutting it closed before you can snap the smooth, hard bonds they had bound your wrists together with. Smashing against the door, you thrash against it time and time again, clawing at the metal, kicking and screaming.

Running to the window, you’re just in time to see the units Ikrans fly away in the distance. Anger unlike anything you had ever felt before filled you, the betrayal all-consuming as you sank to your knees, tears rolling down your face. There’s no sound leaving you, no wails of sorrow or screams of anguish. Instead, you sit there, silently waiting, patient for what you know will come. As morning turns to day and day turns to night, you sit quietly until the knock on the door sounds and the three heavily armed warriors come for you once more. Following them like normal, you count your turns until you reach your destination.

Taking hold of the warrior in front of you, you lift him up before quickly, with all your might, slinging him around, smashing him into the two warriors behind you. The force is enough for all of them to go down, but you don’t stick around to find out for how long. Picking up the small white door opener from the front warrior, you run to the door that you now know, after weeks of following the exact same route, will lead to the hallway that again leads to the halls before the bridge. Smashing the white door opener against the box on the side of the door, you feel relief when it swishes open like you had hoped it would.

It’s touch and go after that, as guards come up far behind you, shooting in your direction as you’re chased through the building. Alarms are blaring but you don’t stop, smashing the door opener against each box in your way until you eventually reach the bridge. There’s full confusion as guards swivel around the compound, not really knowing what’s happening. Behind you, you can hear the General Ardmor’s voice shouting desperately for her warriors to not let you escape. Screeching for hawnu, you run full speed against the low wall before you throw yourself out from the bridge, spreading your arms as you’re free-falling. You see Hawnu rapidly sweeping in from your right, flying up to catch you, having responded to your call immediately.

Landing clumsily on his back, you manage to quickly make tsaheylu, directing Hawnu to fly through rugged terrain once you’ve cleared the Kill Zone, knowing by now that the sky people’s metal machines can’t fly through it. Hawnu flies so quickly you’re having trouble holding on, his movements so fast as he twists and turns through the rugged terrain. He doesn’t slow down until your fear of being discovered has disappeared, knowing that the sky people have lost your trail. Running your hands up Hawnu’s long, powerful neck, you ask his forgiveness as you beg him to take you north toward the reef villages.

Ever the kind soul, Hawnu sends reassuring feelings your way, reminding you that Spider is strong, that he can manage until you reach him. Still, your heart beats loudly with worry for your son while Hawnu takes you through the landscape of Pandora’s coastal line as fast as he’s able to. The demon and his unit are an entire day ahead of you, no doubt having already wreaked havoc on the reef villages along the coast in their hunt for Jake Sully. You prayed to the great Mother that your son would be safe, that the demon at least cared enough to keep your son from harm's way.

The entire day Hawnu takes you closer and closer to the tribes. You can already see the smoke on the horizon, but by the time you reach the smoke, the eclipse will be upon you, bathing Pandora in darkness for a while. Hawnu doesn’t ask for breaks, doesn’t ask for the speed to slow down, if anything, he only speeds on as he feels your fear through your bond. As the smoke quickly approaches, your fear is replaced with dread. What you arrive at, takes your breath away.

Death is spread everywhere your eyes land. There are sky people floating in the water, Eywa’s children illuminating them from below the sea. There’s Na’vi there too, from the sea tribes you note in the slight difference in physique. Hawnu floats through the air, quickly approaching what must be the ship Spider had talked about. It’s quickly sinking while the people on it fight, the sound of guns and cries echoing.

But as you’re quickly approaching the sinking ship a small blue shape catches your eye. There are orange glowing bioluminescent fish swimming around the rock, circling it almost protectively. In your desperate search for your son, something commands you to ask Hawnu to land on the rock formation in the sea. You know that shape, has seen him grow from a small baby to a fine young man, along with your son. As Hawnu gently lands, you step off, quickly kneeling by Neteyam’s side.

His body is cold when you lay shaky hands on his skin, checking for a heartbeat - finding none. Leaning down, you put your ear to his dark blue lips, but you can’t hear his breath. He’s bleeding from a round wound in his chest, the young boy taken from his family long before his time. Closing your eyes, you send a prayer to Eywa, praying for his parents, praying for his siblings - praying for Neteyam to find his way to the tree of souls belonging to the sea tribe.

“Dead Na’vi doesn’t bleed,” You whisper, your eyes shooting up to stare at the young boy.

True enough, Neteyam’s wound bleeds an ever-so-slow stream of blood. Pressing your fingers to Neteyam’s pulse, the same way Norm Spellman had taught you to do with Spider as a young baby, you’re relieved to find a barely there pulse. Getting to your feet, you gather Neteyam’s heavy body in your arms, feeling the difference in his size from Spider. Clumsily, you manage to get him onto Hawnu’s back, getting on your Ikran before quickly making tsaheylu. You ask him to find the only place that might be able to help the young boy now - the three of souls.

As Hawnu takes off from the rock, you turn your head to look at the sinking ship. Spider might be on that ship, a voice in the back of your mind tells you, making your heart clench painfully in your chest. Holding Neteyam’s cold body to your chest, you close your eyes as you tell yourself no. His father wouldn’t do that to him, wouldn’t leave your son to drown alone. You had to believe that, had to believe that your son would be safe and sound somewhere far from the carnage behind you.

The eclipse breaks just as Hawnu soars through some floating rocks in a huge formation. It’s in the middle of the sea, well hidden from prying eyes, and in the middle, you could already see the glow of the Great Mother welcoming you - guiding you to where you needed to go. Hawnu lands gently on a rock close to the water’s edge, the tree of souls just below, glowing so brightly as it pulses. Praying to Eywa to guide you, you lower the both of you into the surprisingly warm water. Put your lips to Neteyam’s, you dive down, down, down, clumsily swimming with the young boy, breathing with him until you eventually reach the tree of souls. The Great Mother’s vines are beautiful as they stretch out to meet you, gently wrapping themselves around Neteyam’s body, creating a mask in front of the boy’s nose and mouth. Taking the Neteyam’s queue, you connect it as gently as you can to the biggest vine you can find.

For long moments, nothing happens. Praying to Eywa, you ask her forgiveness for believing that the sky people could change, you pray for her to save Neteyam despite your betrayal, praying for the Great Mother to show the young boy mercy. It was not his time to go and she must know that. Still, nothing happens - until it does.

The vines drag Neteyam closer to the core, Eywa’s vines pulsing powerfully as Neteyam’s bioluminescent dots glow brightly across his entire body. Relief washes through you as your mind goes dizzy, your lungs painfully constricting in your chest, but all you can think about is how you made it in time to help Neteyam. Your mind tells you to swim up, to get air, but your heart ushers you to stay with Neteyam, to guard him where he floated in the Great Mother’s arms. But before you can do much about anything, another vine reaches for you. Instinctively, you know what to do, connecting your queue to the glowing vine, and just like that, air fills your lungs, your eyes watering underwater at the sweet relief that courses through you as your lungs work hard to regain what had been lost.

Swimming closer to Neteyam, you take the young man’s hand in yours, holding it tightly as you start repeating the healing chant in your mind. You’re no healer, no Tsahìk, but at that moment, you don’t want to leave any stone unturned if it could help Neteyam heal from his grave wound. You can’t help the desperate laugh that bubbles out of you when Netayam’s chest expands once, twice, then all the time. It’s shallow, but it's unmistakably there.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, but as night just barely turns to day above water, the skies a flaming orange, the vines eventually let the young man go. Immediately, you wrap your arms around him, kicking tiredly as you swim up toward the surface. Breaching the water, you gasp for air as you clumsily grab hold of the rock. Hawnu screeches happily when you emerge, stepping closer to the water in an attempt to help you. Pushing Neteyam’s heavy body up, you eventually get him on the rock, laying his head in your lap as you wait for him. With your hand resting above his heart, you let your tears roll down your face, thanking the Great Mother for saving the young man’s life. You don’t know how long you sit there after that, but when Neteyam opens his eyes and recognizes you, you don’t care.

“Neteyam,” You greet, his name nothing but a wet breath of air from your lips as you smile down at him.

There’s such a confused look on his face, but it disappears when he scrunches his face in pain. The wound in his chest doesn’t bleed freely anymore, but it’s still open, looking red and angry in contrast to his blue skin. There’s a scared whine coming from his throat and immediately, you take his hand, shushing him lightly.

“You’re alright, Neteyam, you’re alright,” You try to comfort him, but it doesn’t help.

The young man sobs once, twice and then the whines come on a string, his tears falling while he tries to hide his face. Having none of it, you gather him up in your lap as gently as you can with his wound, wrapping your arms around him as you hide his face in your neck, rocking him gently. You don’t know how Neytiri comforts her son, don’t know his songcord, so instead, you sing children's rhymes to him, songs from when Spider was a baby, songs from Dr. Augustine’s ruined school. You don’t let go of him, not even when he quiets down. He was still just a child in your eyes, still younger than Spider.

“Thank you,” Neteyam croaks from beneath your chin, his hand still holding onto your chest piece.

“You don’t have to thank me, Neteyam,” You hum back at him, continuing to rock the young man in your arms.

Eventually, you need to move. Walking over to Hawnu, you rummage through his bags, knowing there was a small emergency wound kit in it, just in case you would ever need it for Spider. The time he fell as a young child and broke his arm, never left your mind. Wrapping Neteyam’s wounds as best as you could, applying the few healing pastes you were able to make from the dried herbs, you ask him what happened.

“The sky demon came for us, the one father calls Colonel Miles Quaritch. They smoked us out by hunting the Tulkuns. They shot a newly made mother, the sister of the Metkayina’s Tsahìk, Ronal,” Neteyam started, his eyes wild as he looked into yours.

“They hunted Tulkun?” You gasp, anger burning brightly inside of you at the disrespect for life.

“They took Lo’ak, Tsireya, and Tuk hostage on the ship,” Neteyam starts and immediately, your blood runs cold.

“Neteyam, did you see Spider?” You can’t help but interrupt him.

Neteyam’s face lights up at the mention of Spider’s name. Beaming up at you he tells you about how they saved Spider from the sky people on the ship and how they escaped together, jumping from the ship as the recombinants shot at them. He tells you how one of the bullets hit him and how he was so sure that he was called for. You gasp a breath of both relief and anger, letting your tears stream from your face as you lift his hand to your forehead, thanking him for coming back for Spider. The both of you send a prayer to Eywa before you help the young man up on Hawnu’s back, sitting close behind him as you hold him tightly to your chest.

Your mind is screaming at you as you ask Hawnu to take you over the battlefield once more. Neteyam sleeps soundly in your arms, his exhaustion taking him under quickly once the adrenaline from waking up burned away. In your mind, you walk through the story that Neteyam had told you. About how the unit had shot at the kids, had shot at your son. You didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to believe that these people, the very people you had lived with for months, trained, taught, and come to think fondly of, had willingly raised their guns at children and fired their weapons.

It couldn’t be. Neteyam had to be wrong. But then again, the demon had taken Spider, had attempted to take the other kids too. Was it so far-fetched that Neteyam spoke the truth? Although you didn’t want to believe it, something deep within you already knew the truth. Your heart broke as your eyes filled with water, a silent sob escaping you as you closed your eyes for only a second. You needed to be strong, you reminded yourself. Needed to be strong for Spider’s sake.

Yet… when Hawnu flies closer to the wreckage and your eyes land on a familiar blue figure, your anger melts away to sorrow. For just an instant, you entertain the thought of just leaving him to be washed away by the sea, to be forgotten for his sins against the Na’vi, but the further you fly away from him the more your lungs refuse to work. Your eyes are watering as you bite the inside of your cheeks, betrayal, and anger burning brightly within you. How stupid he had been to follow this path, especially when he was learning to accept Eywa in his heart.

Turning Hawnu around, your heart sinks even further when you spot another blue figure floating in the water. This was a massacre. This once sacred and beautiful place, nothing but a graveyard, a casualty of an unnecessary war. Hawnu gently lands on a rock, making sure not to rock Neteyam as he lowers down to the stones, making your way down from his back easier. Making sure that Neteyam rests comfortably, you wipe your eyes before stepping into the water. Swimming out to the recom, you clumsily turn him around in the water before wrapping an arm around him. Kicking your legs, you haul his heavy body to the rock, dragging him up and out of the water.

Brown’s lifeless face stares up at you and you can’t help the choked-out sob that leaves you. His death was so meaningless to you, the young man a gentle soul when only he put his stupidity aside. Now he lay on the rock before you, a deep wound in the crook of his neck as well as a deep stab wound to his chest. Both of them had long since stopped bleeding. Closing the man’s eyes, you shut your own, allowing yourself a moment to grieve.

But the sky people have never allowed the Na’vi to grieve for long. Before long, you’re out in the water again, this time to collect Ja, only to discover that it’s Lopez when you turn him around on his back. He holds Neytiri’s arrow deeply embedded in his heart. Hauling him back to the rock, you pull him up to lay beside Brown, the two of them looking so out of place in their silly sky-people clothing. Letting your tears of sorrow and anger fall, you look to the skies in despair. Nine recoms left the day before, two of them lay before you. You knew you had to find the others, to give them the same peace you would wish them to have given you, should you have been in their place right now. So with that, you dive back into the water, swimming past dead sky people until you found another recom, and then… another.

Somehow, you manage to get Z-Dog and Seanfike to the rock, gently laying them beside their brothers. They had both been killed by Neytiri, her arrows sticking out of them grotesquely. Exhausted, you breathe heavily as you look at the four recoms before you, four lives wasted before they could fully appreciate the way of Eywa. You mourn for them, feeling your heart drop heavily as you look out over the bright sea, knowing that somewhere within it, there were five more out there.

Roughly wiping your tears, you square your shoulders and dive into the sea once more. The past few months, you had grown to care for the weird unit, their endearing sides slowly but surely revealing themselves as they grew closer and closer to the Great Mother. Although you hadn’t grown as close with all of them, you still cared for their wellbeing, still cared that they would find their way to the tree of souls. It was the last thing you could offer them, a peaceful place for them to rest their weary souls. With a new resolve, you push on, kicking your legs harder to move forward through the wreckage strewn around the water. You don’t know how long you searched for the others, but by the time you find Prager pinned to the deck of the sunken ship, you’re beyond exhausted. The morning is quickly turning into midday and beyond Prager, there has been no sign of any of the other four. Getting your last recom to the rock, you’re surprised to find Neteyam sitting by the other side of Hawnu.

“Neteyam, how a-”

“Why are you picking them up?” Neteyam frowns, his voice angry and confused, “They’re killers Y/n. They’re the ones who shot me,”

“Neteyam,” You flinch at his words, having already gathered that one of your recoms had shot the boy in front of you.

“No! They took the other, Y/n. They took your son! They took my siblings…” Neteyam’s voice breaks on the last word, tears actually falling from his stoic eyes, “They want my mother and father dead,”

“Oh, sweet little one,” You whisper as you let go of Prager’s body and step up to Neeyam, wrapping him in a hug. At first, he pushes your arms away, his anger and confusion driving him. But in the end, he lets you hold him, leaning his head against the crook of your neck as he lets silent tears fall.

“It’s alright to cry, Neteyam. You’re no less of a warrior for showing emotions,” You whisper into his ear, hoping it’s the words he needs to hear to let go of the anguish he’s trying so desperately to hide.

And to your relief it is. The boy who has carried the weight of being Jake Sully's eldest son on his shoulder breaks down in your arms and allows himself to be vulnerable, to be held, for just a while. Rocking him gently, you let him dispense of the built-up emotions inside of him, letting him dump it and allowing him to breathe for the first time in what feels like forever. Eventually, he falls silent, breathing heavily in your arms.

"Why are you helping them?" Neteyam asks, his voice still filled with confusion, but the anger, this time, is gone.

"They were a unit, thrust into this world in bodies they didn't understand. Although they weren't the best people in their previous life, they accepted Eywa in their souls while I taught them the Great Mother's ways, and I came to care for them" You say slowly, letting him mull over the words you're saying.

"If they had accepted Eywa, then why did they do this?" Neteyam asks all the right questions, the questions you yourself want to be answered. But you don't know the facts and speculating have always been a dangerous path to thread.

"I believe, that when you're a warrior, you're so used to taking orders from your leaders, that you just do them. Even the leaders take orders from their own leaders, you know," You start clumsily, but Neteyam nods gently, letting you continue without interrupting and the fact breaks your heart. "Maybe they didn't have a choice? Maybe they just reacted to the orders without thinking? These are questions we will never know the answer to now,"

"I think he's the one who shot me," Neteyam confesses, pointing at Prager's dead body. "The guy with no hair and blue eye covers stopped after the first shot was fired. He did not, even though the other guy shouted at him to stop firing, "

“I’m so sorry, Neteyam.” You whisper against his skull while holding him close. “His name was Prager,”

“Prager,” Neteyam repeats and you hope that knowing his name will bring him some form of comfort. “Where will you take them?”

“I have to reunite them with the Great Mother,” You don’t know how the younger boy will react to that, but to your surprise, Neteyam looks up at you with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“You’ll need something they can float on then,” He starts, a small smile on his lips as he searches the water for something, “Like that ship,”

Looking in the direction Neteyam points in, you see an orange and black ship floating in the distance. It’s big enough to fit the five recoms you have found, easy enough for Hawnu to move them to the rock formation and the tree of souls. Still, your heart constricts painfully at the four you haven’t been able to find, their bodies sunken to the bottom or destroyed beyond the ability to collect them. It was not in your power to retrieve them, but still, you mourned. They were the four recoms you grew closest to.

“You’ve done enough, Y/n,” Neteyam offers you bravely, his face trying to hide the pain that he’s in.

It sets your resolve to move on. You had done everything you could for Lyle, Mansk, and Ja, had rounded up their unit, and were going to reunite them with Eywa. You prayed to the Great Mother that their souls would find rest. You comforted yourself with the fact that they would have each other before you stood up and dived into the water once more. Swimming to the small ship took longer than you anticipated, your lack of energy showing itself in your exhausted body. Hungry, thirsty, and sleep deprived, you eventually reached the ship, approaching it carefully in case any of the sky people in it were still alive.

They are not. Inside the open ship, a dozen sky people lay dead, their small bodies bloodied and twisted in weird directions. It’s obvious to you that something, or someone, horrible happened to them. Climbing onboard, you gently lift their small bodies over the edge letting them sink into the sea. It isn’t lost on you that many of the sky people are smaller than your son, so with each one, you check behind the mask, just to be sure. Neteyam had told you that Spider was safe with his family, but you had experienced firsthand just how “safe” that could be.

With the ship cleared, you hauled it after you, back to the rock. Neteyam sat against Hawnu’s body, looking at Prager with haunted eyes. A part of you wants nothing more than to protect that precious boy, to avenge him, but although the mother in you screamed for revenge, your heart mourned his short life. Stepping up to Prager, you start cutting the weird sky people clothing off of him, leaving him in the odd-looking tweng they wore. This one, you noted, was different from the demon’s. White in color, with long legs. Gathering him in your arms, you struggle to lift him, his body much heavier than you first anticipated. Almost immediately, you realized that you needed to get the ship further down the rock or risk not getting it out in the water again.

Placing Prager in the ship, you do the same to Lopez. Neytiri’s arrow is so deeply embedded in his chest that you almost don’t get it out again. It’s the same with Z-Dog and Seanfike, the two arrows deeply plunged into both of their heads. The one in Z-Dog’s flank has gone through, Neytiri’s aim merciless where it strikes. In the end, there’s just Brown left, the man almost small where you gently lay him on top of the others. Getting into the water again, you quickly rinse their blood off of your body, off of Neytiri’s arrows before tying a rope to a piece of wood that had floated past.

Stepping up to Neteyam and Hawnu, you put Neytiri’s arrow away before greeting your Ikran, rubbing his long forehead lovingly as he chirps as if to say that everything will be alright. Neteyam is asleep where he leans into Hawnu’s bigger body, his skin warm in the hot sun. Gently, you lift the young man up in your arms, before placing his legs on each side of Hawnu, trying not to jostle him too much. Making tsaheylu, you’re happy to feel that Hawnu has been able to rest up while you searched for the recoms. Chirping, Hawnu takes the piece of wood between his claws before he takes off, spreading his large wings. The rope isn’t the longest, but it gives Hawnu the full range of his wings, the small, open ship easily gliding on the water despite the heavy weight of the five recoms.

Reaching the tree of souls once more, you leave Neteyam to rest with shade over his face. It would do him no good to overheat. Pushing the small ship out over the calm water, you take it with you to where the water glows, the Great Mother showing you the way in this unfamiliar sacred place. Hoisting yourself up into the small ship, you take a hold of the wood up from the water. Every Na’vi had a songcord - these did not.

It’s not hard to make beads. Once you get into the flow of it, you think of each of their milestones, think of how proud you were of them for accepting, for learning, and for practicing the way of Eywa. Carving different shapes and patterns, you finish their last beads before you’re ready to add them. Starting with Brown, you loosen a strand from his queue, braiding it beautifully as you add the beads you carved for him, singing memories of your time together, hoping - praying - that it would be enough. Gently, you let him into the water, crossing his arms over his chest before pressing him down with you as you dive. The glowing warmth of Eywa welcomes you as you gently watch her welcome another of her children, enveloping the young man in a hug you one day knew would be waiting for you. When Brown had been welcomed back, you swam up to the small ship to repeat the motion.

It’s midday by the time you’re finished, the sun glowing brightly as she starts her descent before the eclipse. But try as you might, you’re unable to swim back to Neteyam and Hawnu. The loss of the other recoms weighs heavy in your heart. The fact that you couldn’t find them, that you couldn’t unite them with the Great Mother, pained you almost more than losing them did. So while you silently sit there, staring at this sacred place of the Metkayina that resided here, you come to the conclusion that the least you could do for them was to make songcords and offer them to Eywa in place of their bodies.

Lyle’s beads are easy to carve, the man had been one of the best men you knew, his humor, his protectiveness, his love, something that would stick with you for years to come. Unbraiding your queue, you cut a strand of hair from the side of your head, firmly tying its end before braiding in his beads. His song would be one of joy.

Mansk wasn’t much harder, the gentle man nurturing and kind, always putting others before himself. His love language had been food and with the different ways he could prepare a meal, you had quickly come to care for him. Cutting a strand of hair from the other side of your head, you start braiding Mansk’s beads. His song would be one of fondness.

Ja’s beads were the easiest to carve. His gentle nature had called to you from the moment you met. Immediately, you recognized his gentle soul, the kindness and softness one you hadn’t previously seen in a warrior such as him. Getting to know him had been a joyful experience, and although his carefulness when learning the Na’vi way often tried your patience, he took to it so quickly once he was able to walk through it with you. Cutting a strand of hair from the middle, you smile as you pick a childish pattern for him. Ja’s song would be filled with endearment.

Then… there was the demon. You had carved no beads for him, had not thought of the milestones he had achieved or the way his braid pattern had already been chosen. He was the hardest one. The one you didn’t want to do, didn't want to touch… except did. More than any of the others, his death left an empty space deep within your chest, one you didn’t dare look closer at. Sending a prayer to Eywa, you ask her for guidance, ask her for a sign - anything - to indicate that you were doing the right thing. She had given you an unmistakable sign once, had covered the demon in her sacred spirits, telling you that he was meant for something bigger, but you had failed her.

Letting out a huffed humorless chuckle you watch as the small ship is surrounded by the small glowing fish from before, the Great Mother once more giving you a sign, guiding you. Looking up at the skies, you try your best to hold back the tears now threatening to fall from your closed eyes. It doesn’t work. The lump in your throat pinches painfully as you try to swallow down the tears, your chest heaving for air, but it’s no use. Once the first tear falls, the others follow until you rest your face in your hands, crying freely. You don’t want to inspect why this is hitting you so hard, but deep down you already know.

“Why?” You sob, your throat fighting you, “Why, Great Mother?”

But she never elaborates. You knew this, yet, you had hoped that just this once, you would get to walk away from this pain. But the Great Mother only guides, only shows signs in the direst of moments to point you in the right direction if need be. Taking deep breaths, you pick up your knife and start carving. You know you can’t lie, not about him - the father of your most beloved son. Without him, there would have been no Spider and without Spider, your life would have been very different.

As a nobody in your tribe, one with no particular skills, you would have no prospect for a good mate, and would more likely than not have ended up as an aunt working together with the men and women that had lost their mates. It was by far the worst of fates, but one you knew you would have been miserable with. Spider had needed you as much as you had needed him, and for that, you owed the demon everything.

Out of the four of them, he ended up having the most beads, his milestones a bit different in comparison to theirs. Reaching up to the back of your neck, you cut a strand of hair from the nape, below where your braid would be hiding the missing hair. As you would forever need to hide what had happened between the two of you, this too would stay hidden from prying eyes. Reaching for your own songcord, you look at the beautiful blue stone bead, the last one added. Taking a deep breath, you untie the braid until the bead comes loose. Rolling the precious gem in your hand, you close your eyes before adding it as the last bead on the demon’s songcord, tightly tying off the end.

His song would be one of hope.

Lowering yourself into the water once more, take deep beats before diving down, the four songcords tightly held in your hand. One by one, you lay them on the glowing hands of the Great Mother, watching as she wraps around them, welcoming each one. It brings a sad smile to your lips. When there’s only one more left, you hesitate. You’re not ready, your body rebelling against letting it go. The air in your lungs is already reaching low levels, so you decide to swim up to breathe freely before laying it to rest with the others. Except, when you dive down again, the glow has dimmed to almost nothing. Furrowing your brows in confusion, you reach down to touch them, relieved when the area glows brightly once more.

Looking down at your hand, you watch as the sunlight from above makes the blue bead glitter. Rolling it between your fingers, you close your eyes briefly before gently putting it down for Eywa to welcome the last of them home. But nothing happens. The anemones don’t glow or wrap around the songcord, pulling it down to join the others. For long moments, there’s no movement at all, until the glowing fish swims around you, surrounding you. The Great Mother wakes to life again, glowing brighter than before as her hands finally wrap around Quaritch’s songcord, welcoming it to rest within her heart. As it disappears from view, your chest constricts, a milestone in your life over.

Sparing one last look at the warm glow, you swim to the surface, breaking the water quietly. You don’t feel anything as the midday sun shines down on you and as if Eywa hears you, dark clouds roll in from afar. Sighing deeply, you take hold of the rope and pull the small ship with you. You need to send it on its way, far away from this sacred place. Crawling up on the rock you left Neteyam and Hawnu on, you’re surprised to see yellow eyes staring at you with a deep set confusion in them. You smile gently at the younger boy, but you know it doesn’t reach your eyes. Taking the small ship with you, you guide it to the outer part of the circle that makes out this sacred place, letting the current of the great sea lead it away into the nothingness of the waters beyond.

“Who was it?” Neteyam asks when you return, his voice is small, careful as he speaks.

“Hmm…?” Your head isn’t in the moment, missing his question completely.

“You sat out there for a while, talking with someone. It was one of them, wasn’t it?” He elaborates, the young man too smart for his own good. “Your mate…”

“It doesn’t matter now,” You smile sadly at him, seeing how his ears snap back flat against his skull, his sad small eyes looking up at you with something aching to understanding. You don’t want to think about how he saw through you so easily, about how, if he saw, the others surely would too.

“Come, we need to get back home. Mo’at will know what to do,” You tell him, bending down to help him up.

“Uuugh, she will end me, Y/n,” Neteyam grins, grinning up at you.

It’s so evident that he’s looking forward to getting to go back home, to see his grandmother and family again. Smiling gently at him, you can’t wait to hold Spider in your arms again. You would never let him out of your sight again, and you had a feeling the same would apply to Neteyam for Jake and Neytiri. With Hawnu taking off, heading across to the shoreline, you feel a comfortable resolve fill your being. Everything would turn back to normal again once you got back home. Toruk Makto would make everything good again, would lead you right this time around.

Thanking Hawnu for his help, for his strength, you ask him to set the pace that suits him. The Sullys would arrive before you anyway, but as you held Neteyam close as he dozed off, you didn’t really mind. Spider was safe, your Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk having protected him the way they should have back then. Your heart filled with joy that you would be able to give them something as precious as their firstborn, alive and well, in return.

Coming home would be everything to you...

Chapter 11 | Masterpost | Chapter 13

[frostahesmegabite]

Fel’ling on Hard Times

Mina’jari and Megahes were spending the evening in the Engineering Bay and had been for several days past now. Their work being one of personal desire for Mina and it being on Mega wanted to make sure worked appropriately as opposed to the ‘Junk-tech’ that her original design was based off of. The design in question was a Hover Disc, one created out of Anti-Grav units that had been salvaged from gold-knows-where. Mega was impressed to say the least, but the materials used were, well, certainly not up to his standards and that precisely was why the two of them were in the Bay working on it together. How could he call himself a proper step parent if he didn’t help show her how to construct a proper Hover Disc?! It was with that parental concern and craftsman-like desire to make a better, safer, product for his kid that drove him to bringing her into the shop for days until it was completed proper and when the time came. Mina and Mega took the Disc out to the Deck that looked out over the eastern shore of Bilgewater Harbor, the various Seals and Makura Crabs that were all over the sand, as well as some of the Sea Mines that bobbed this way and that on the surface of the water as well. The moment of truth came and Mina climbs up onto the Disc and flipped the ignition switch with her toes, causing the Anti-Grab units to thrum to life with a bright blue light which bolted her about a foot and a half off the ground, nearly costing her balance before she recovers and grins wide. With some twists and turns of her feet and ankles, checking to make sure the units responded to her twists and turns she looked up and was gone! Inches turned to feet and feet into meters and so forth. Up and up she went until she turned and raced off to swing around the massive Harbor Cannon that was always pointed at Stormwind but never once used. The winds lashed at her face, forcing her to pull down her goggles to protect her eyes so she could actually see at the velocity’s she was travelling. Homes, shops, piers and docks, boats, yards and sand whirred below and behind her as she went, closing in down just over a few roofs before blasting past. How much time had passed by the time she realized she should have come back? An hour perhaps? More or Less? The sun had started to fall, she knew that, but where was it at before she jumped on? No idea to know now, excitement dictated her forgetting that notion entirely. She turned her way back, heading for the FBC Machine Shop where she had left Mega behind to take her joy ride. It was her return that made time slow as she got closer to the deck she’d launched from earlier. Fel-fire burned on the launch pad and several other Goblins could be seen fighting the flames. “Baba…”                                                           ***** Megahes smiled, hand raised to watch Mina take off on her Hover Disc. He’d have warned her to take it easy, but what can you say to a kid that’s been raised by people like Naturasu and Megahes that managed to make her own Hover Disc as a teenager? Not a whole hell of a lot really. There was no need to waste the words, he knew her excitement. The excitement for the moment though was cut short as a slow clap suddenly begins behind him, causing him to exhale out before turning around to see who was there. Was it the sight of the Illidari that fell upon him first or was it the scent of Fel on the wind that greeted his nostrils that told him what this person was first? A combination maybe? But this Elf standing before him wasn’t one he’d seen in years. “Sanelastus. Didn’t expect to see you around again after your Brother and Us squashed the less stable of you three. What brings you back around these parts? The Illidari in need of some help with some kind of Demonic Tech or something?” The massive Illidari towered even above his Paladin Brother, Ammaelin, in stature thanks in part to the fel energies that surely coursed through his body… surely the demonic manifestations and mutations did their bits to help that in kind. The golden howling mask blocking his facial features as mana-eater like tendrils hung from his head in place of what had once been hair gave off a wonderfully ‘eerie’ vibe, as Mega figured was probably intended. “No, no.” His voice rang deep and rough, almost like sand paper up the back of his neck. “I’ve come in regards to a prisoner that escaped the Violet Hold some time ago. I know the Kirin Tor dispatched warnings across the world in an effort to keep an eye out and unfortunately, nothing has come of it, so I’ve been reduced to playing detective due to the prisoners innate magical prowess.” His tendrils quivered like a rattle snake in agitation to this announcement. “Okay, so, then ya here wonderin if my folks’ve seen him then or if we’ve had any run ins or…?” In the blink of an eye, Mega was charged and hoisted into the air. Arms jerked straight out to his sides with his hands being squeezed to the point of being crushed. “Hey you fucker, get off’a me!” The goblin screamed out but before he could usher much more, a tendril of Sanelastus’ hair snapped forward, exposing a small mouth like opening that clamped onto his throat before another snapped to his head and into his ear. The two of them immediately began to syphon off the Goblins magic, starting to drain him as he struggled for air. “No, nothing like that I’m afraid… I am sorry about this. Believe me, but this is your fault in the end. If you had taken me up on my offer years ago to cleanse what my brother had done to you, you wouldn’t need to concern yourself with who’s coming for you.” Mega’s eyes perhaps said everything he needed to say. “Krownos…” Mega’s leg comes up and his foot catches the Illidari firmly in the jaw, making his head jerk as the mask flew free and to the ground. Bone and empty eye sockets burning with fel-flame, no lips, teeth meant to tear flesh from bone adorned the one time elf. “Krownos Bloodcrest, Patriarch of the Bloodcrest Family Blood line. Power hungry father to us all.” Mega’s eyes go wide as the mana being drained continued to wear him thin. Exhaustion was beginning to hit and his ability to stay conscious was dwindling. Was this man, the one who came to his home and had been visiting him in his dreams, going to come after him as some sort of act of revenge? He wasn’t going to get his answers, at least not now. “The only thing that’s going to save you at this point, is hoping this does the trick.” The elf’s empty sockets flicker and dim as if sympathy somehow comes to bare. “I am sorry it’s come to this.” Before Mega could do a thing, the Illidari’s eyes erupt with a beam of pure fel energy and bore straight into the Light-Forged metal engraved into his chest. The metal flared with the power of the Light, fighting back as the skin around it began to blister and boil. Despite his earlier exhaustion, Megahes screamed out in pain to the point his voice gave. The metal gave and began to melt, dribbling down his body to create even worse burns. Its breaking caused an inner black ichor to try to wrench itself free only to get met with Fel flame as well. Its ooze-like form quivering and writhing as it tried to get away. It sizzled and popped and one might swear that it even screamed and squealed in pain as it too was burned out of Megahes. By the time Sanelastus was done, Megahes had passed out from the strain and pain, going limp in the Illidari’s hands. Sanelastus turned his head causing the Rays of fel to burn into the steel flooring before he dropped the goblin to the ground and used his hand to cover his sockets, ending the onslaught. His body had swollen and pulsed, fed and full from the Goblins mana. An Illidari portal opens, fel-fire erupting across the deck as Sanelastus makes for it while a crew of Goblins begin shooting and cursing as an alarm klaxon blares. He had spent to much time here and someone had seen. But he’d accomplished what he needed to have done. “I am sorry Frostbite, but at least now when Krownos comes for you, this makes sure that he stays dead.”

[daily--thoughts]

Pov: you have the worst day ever and it's also your birthday

You wake up with a feeling of dread knowing that you're no longer super young

You think about how it's the first birthday without your special kitty

You muster up the energy and happiness to get ready for your birthday anyway

You put together a cute outfit that makes you feel good and lifts your spirit

It happens to be only day in the week that the weather decides to rain but you don't let it bring you down

You plan to go to a holiday bizarre for the sole purpose of purchasing a cute handmade stuffed animal that you had seen before. And later plan to go to your favorite restaurant that you haven't been to in a while

You're driving

You think to be careful since it's raining

As you switch lanes, you must have accelerated a tad too much and you end up grazing the car in front of you as you merge over

The impact sends you swerving

You can suddenly see the front of the cars that are supposed to be behind you as you spin across 2 lanes

Somehow no one around you hit you as you spun

Thankfully you're not injured

You're shocked and stressed but you exchange information with the other driver

There's a sweet, concerned woman who waits with you

Your side mirror, front light, and bumper are hanging off

You think about the money it'll cost to repair it even though you're on a budget and recently had a repair

You feel extremely guilty for ruining someone else's day and scraping their car

The other reason is uninjured. They're understanding but rightfully annoyed

You hold back you tears alone in your car

Even though its a bad idea, you still drive to the bizarre in your damaged car because that was one of the only things that was supposed to bring you joy today and you really need it now

You arrive and finally get the stuffed animal. It sparks joy but you still feel bad

You end up uncontrollably crying in front of your friends at the bizarre

You feel embarrassed and vulnerable which you absolutely hate

But your friend/crush gave you a comfort hug...so there's that

You realize that you could have gone to the bizarre on another day and this whole situation wouldn't have ever happened

You go home

You have the dark thought that at least your cat passed away before you did so that she wouldn't be confused and sad about why you never returned home to her

You no longer feel up to eating at a restaurant and order delivery at home

You spill sauce on you favorite top

But your mom brings home your favorite cupcakes which somewhat cheers you up

You still have to go to work soon

Now you're depressed and the rest of your week is ruined.

You no longer want to do your weekend plans for your birthday

You want to crawl into bed face down and wallow in sadness and disappear and forget everything

You are very particular about everything going according to schedule and mentally preparing for things, so this unexpexted event throws you into a depression

Now each birthday you'll remember this event

At least you're alive and unharmed

[cheekygreenty]

Leave Me Lonely p.2 - The Darkling x Reader

Part 1 is here 😝 also there’s so many song requests and majority are Ariana Grande and I’ve never been a fan of her but omg some of the songs you guys requested are absolutely amazing so I think I kinda like her now

He wasn't waiting at the gates for you nor was he in your shared chambers when you returned, your rugged appearance only alarming to the Healers as Ivan basically carried you through the Little Palace halls. You were blind by the rage bubbling inside of you and numbed by the humiliation seeping deep into your bones.

Not only was it because of the hushed whisper fight back in the camp where he didn't hold back on his jabs or his volume, but now he left you to hang, blatantly ignoring you and prioritizing a girl over his partner in a potentially fatal attack. It was bound to let loose a million and one different rumors, rumors where you suffered the most. No Grisha would dare blame their General, and no matter how much respect they had for you, you were always going to be the scapegoat. It happened before and will happen again, but this time you had a fleeting suspicion he wouldn't defend you.

My heart has had enough, of the give and take

The urge to cry was overwhelming as you shed your clothing and slipped into the scorching bath. Your muscles and bruises ached from the fighting and horseriding but you hurt the most.

Today wasn't the first time you let tears slip out because of Aleksander, in fact, you only ever cry because of him. You loved him so much, yet all that came from your relationship lately was heartache and pain. One good day without a fight equaled days of unrest and tensions. You were exhausted and drained, nothing made you happy anymore. It was as if he was sucking the joy out of your life but simultaneously was the only thing to give you joy.

Danger, how you hold me.

The sweet nothings he whispered into your ear as you fell asleep, the talks of a better future where he spoke of marrying you, even something as small as holding your hand while walking through Palace gardens. It all made you smile and set the memories into the concrete of your mind, holding onto them when times got tough.

But now times were tough, they were at a peak and the good memories were replaced by all the bad ones. You tried to fight them, tried to fight the horrible voice in your head that screamed as loud as it could: Let him go.

The bawling started then and never ceased. The water got cold but you didn't seem to care that you were shaking from the temperature, or were you shaking from the realization you would have to end it with Aleksander? You didn't know. Only when a knock sounded on the door did you momentarily stop.

'Ms.Y/L/N, Should I send in the Healer to finish working on you?' a maid questioned.

'In a minute.' You cringed at your voice, it was raw and croaky from your fit of sobs. You got up and grabbed the black robe, securing it on your body before opening the door and letting the Healer do his job. Usually, the itching would annoy you, but this time you paid it no mind as you reflected on your situation.

He finished working on your leg in a matter of minutes and excused himself just as another maid brought in your dinner. You ate alone in the confines of your bedroom, your hair still wet and donning his robe. There was no energy in you to get dressed or to move to the bed to sleep your tiredness off. You wouldn't until he got here.

You needed to put yourself first, to set your foot down and demand his attention. You wanted to be the old Y/N, the one before Aleksander got to you. She was kind and sweet, a humble orphan, never feared by anyone, and good at her job. You hoped you could be her again, hoped that Aleksander's smooth words wouldn't wind you in again and chop a piece of you away.

The doors finally opened and his boots echoed along the hardwood floors.

'You're back.' He came up to you and kissed the top of your head where your hair was now perfectly dry. Before today you would've thought it was a sweet gesture, an endearing kiss to show his love, but now you saw it for what it was: routine.

He continued further into the room, not noticing your tear-stained face or puffy eyes.

'I brought the Sun-Summoner before the King today, I have his permission to train her, it's as if he thought I cared for his opin-' He paused, eyes finally taking you in. You stared out the window in front of you, the same place you had been looking at for hours. He took note of the scrapes on your hands and bruise on the side of your temple, but what garnered his interest was the look of pure melancholy on your face.

'Y/N?'

'You left me there, left all of us'

'What?' He was taken aback.

'There were four times as many of them as there was us and you left.' Your voice was void of any emotion.

'There was plenty of Grisha with you, Ivan was there. Besides, they would have fled knowing I was there.'

'You're not getting it, I was there.' That's all that should matter to you. 'They didn’t flee. I almost died Aleksander. You told me to give my kefta to her and it almost cost me my life.'

'She's the Sun-Summoner.'

'I don't care.' You spit with venom so strong he flinched but stayed quiet but you continued, letting the ball drop. 'I'm leaving the Little Palace. Station me somewhere around the borders. It's for the best.'

As soon as the words left your lips another wave of pain washed over you. How were you supposed to live without him? My love knows no bounds, and it yearns for a man that doesn't care for me.

'You're leaving me?'

'It's for the best.' You repeated and looked away from him, not being able to stand his poised face and calm composure. He was supposed to be upset, shout and scream for you to stay, but he looked....normal.

‘I’m sure the Second Army could do with a skilled soldier on one of the fronts. I’m no good rotting here in the palace.’

He stayed silent and as the seconds ticked by, it was visible his demeanor was falling apart.

'The best for me or you?' There it was, denial. The slight edge to his voice and the flexing of his hands, perhaps even the glisten to his eye.

'Don't do this, don't turn this around on me Aleksander. I have spent the majority of these last few months crying because of you. I have nobody to turn to, all my friends are scared me, they fear me and it's all your fault.' You wiped the tears as they rolled down your face with the sleeve of his black robe. 'I can't do this anymore.'

'You can't just up and run.' Is he upset about his best soldier leaving or me leaving?

'What else am I to do?'

'You don't have to leave the Palace' He took small steps towards you, the reality of the situation hitting him.

'I do. For if I stay I'll see you around and I'll hurt even more. Please, let me go.' You went back to staring out the window because if you had to look at his devasted face, you would crumble.

He kneeled down beside you and tried to grasp your hands but you pulled away. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see his head drop in defeat. You wanted to reach out, hug him, tell him you're staying, put a stop to his sadness but that voice screamed again: Put yourself first. You're the one who's been hurting to make sure he's okay.

'I'll stay in a spare room from now until I leave'

The chair squeaked as you stood up, but Aleksander stayed put. You went to leave, to put all this behind you and start fresh, bring the old Y/N back, but a whisper pulled you back. With your forehead resting against the cool of the door, you resisted the urge to turn around.

'I love you Y/N.'

'I know, I love you too'

I'd rather you leave me lonely, even though it hurts

You're a dangerous love

---------

Taglist

@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl

[minniboe]

The brothers powers and pacts

Pacts in general:

Making a pact creates a bond between you and the demon, this allows the demon to feed on you while in return you get to use some of that demon's power, their charm becomes available to you trough the pactmark albeit it will be less powerful then if the demon was using it.

Via the pactmark a demon is able to tell what emotion their human is feeling, this happens involuntarily when the human activates their pacts, most often to use the charm power of said demon.

Each pact has it's own advantages and disadvantages which will be listed below.

Lucifer

Power:

Lucifer, the morning star has the power to instill pride into those around him. Be it pride over an accomplishment or simply pride in themself. He can increase the pride to such a degree that it becomes a hindrance, with people unwilling to ask for help and they will start to always push themself to do better leading them to overwork themselves. Lucifer has to power to make others succeed in their endeavors, while others will find every plan they make fail horribly no matter how hard they try.

Pact:

A pact with lucifer will give you power beyond your wildest dreams, vast magic power and an increase in physical strength are to be expected. You will find that all your plans will start to succeed, great success will come to you. Your pride will also increase which will allow you to take pride in yourself and in your work but you can and most likely will become so prideful that it starts to hinder you as well.

Mammon

Power: 

Mammon power is one that makes people greedy, those affected become unwilling to part with the things they have and they will want the things they don't have. Those affected by his power become so greedy that they will resort to stealing, threatening, gambling, begging, swindling, mugging, and other underhanded tactics to get that which they desire. As avatar of greed mammon governs riches, those he likes will gain vast riches and wealth while those he doesn't will find themself with nothing left to their name

Pact:

Making a pact with Mammon will ensure that money and vast wealth come your way. Gambling and investing will have favorable results. You will become much more greedy then you ever were before and are always left wanting for more. You will get the urge to take what isn't yours.

Leviathan

Power:

Levi's power is one that makes other people envious of each other or of him, this envy can come out of everything be it if someone has longer hair, is taller then you, can dance better than you, if they have a pet, it does not mather Levi's power will make you feel jealous it will make you desire that what others have. Another power he possesses is to enhance the insecurities people have, he can enhance them to an overwhelming degree. Those Levi has grown close to will find themself less anxious than ever before while those he holds a grudge to find themself overwhelmed thanks to all the anxiety they will have.

Pact:

Levi's pact makes other people envious of you, they will want to be more like you. You'll notice people start copying some of your mannerisms with other copying specific articles of clothing you wear. This however can be seen as a blessing as a curse as some people will treat you badly because they are envious. You will however also become envious of others and feel your insecurities come out more often, getting something to distract yourself is recommended.

Satan

Power:

Satan a demon who sprung forward out of Lucifer's anger is capable of dragging out the rage and anger within others, which often leads to fights and disputes. Those affected by his power will get irritated and enraged by pretty much everything even if they would normally take joy from it. Another ability Satan possess contrasts his primary power, he can make people focus on a particular subject, to the point where they'll ignore everything else around them. Those with Satan's favor will find that their academic endeavors to prosper while those who anger him find learning or remembering information to become a challenging task.

Pact:

A pact with Satan is good for your mind. Intellect and vast knowledge will come easy to you. While your mind becomes expended your temper will also increase you will find yourself getting frustrated more then you would before, so finding something to change your anger is a must.

Asmodeus

Power: 

Every demon has the power to charm humans, Asmo takes this power to a whole other level with the ability to charm every living being that looks into his eyes. Those that fall under Asmo's spell find themself wanting to comply with his every wish, it doesn't matter if they would do it of their own free will or not. Asmodeus can look inside someone's soul and see what they desire, that which they long for, and drag it to the surface so that people will start acting on it.

Pact:

Those under a pact with Asmo find themself being noticed, whenever they enter a room eyes will fall on them. People will hang on your lips, agree with your statements, and try to please you by fulfilling your requests. Those under a pact with Asmo become more physically appealing towards others. However all this attention comes at a price, people will desire you so badly that some will lie and cheat to get close to you. People will want you and some are willing to pay every cost to get you.

Beelzebub

Power:

Beel's power allows him to make other people feel hungry, this can range from small cravings to an overwhelming sensation of hunger, accompanied by hunger cramps, even if the person in question has just eaten. He can make someone crave a specific food or just all food in general. A less expected power of Beel is to bring good health to those he likes, making them resistant to sickness even making their bodies become fitter. While those that wrong him find themself getting sick more often and their bodies get out of shape much faster.

Pact:

A pact with Beel makes it so you can eat all the food you desire and never gain weight, building muscle instead. Those under a pact with Beel can expect an increase in physical strength, muscle mass, and health. You'll find yourself hungry more often and you'll need to eat more to satisfy yourself, so make sure you always have snacks on hand.

Belphegor

Power:

Belphie has the power to lull people to sleep, which can range from a short nap to something more extreme like a coma that lasts multiple months. Belphie is in control of the dream realm, creating peaceful dreams or terrifying nightmares. He can enter someone's dream, let other's enter his dreams, and even link the dreams of multiple people together.

Pact:

A pact with Belphie means that sleep will come to you easily and when you wake up you will feel well-rested with each nap feeling like a full night of sleep. However, you will have to sleep more often than most as your energy will deplete much faster, so you'll have to take power naps during the day.

[nerdygaymormon]

Mtg w/Stake YW President

I’ve been asked to meet with the stake young women presidency where I live to talk about how to make church a better experience for LGBTQ+ youth, and share some things they ought to know to help them better understand. 

These are my notes for the meeting. 

Given our time limits, I had to be selective. I tried to think of what is some basic knowledge they should know, what is some practical advice they can implement, and then I wanted them to start thinking through scenarios. 

————————————————————

We should talk about language.

Don't say "suffers from," "struggles with," or anything that suggests this is an addiction or sickness. Don’t ask, ��are you sure?” Just because being straight & cisgender is most common doesn't make everything else "unnormal" or "unnatural". Don’t say we’ll be “fixed” in the resurrection because that implies we’re “broken.”

If someone comes out to you, they made themselves very vulnerable, they need love, validation and hope. Not talk about repentance or a reminder of the Church's anti-gay positions. There's a good chance they know the Church's teachings better than you do.

Let’s practice, what are some ways to respond if someone comes out to you?

—————————

How can we make things better, especially since we don't have power to change some of the problematic teachings or policies?

 Every LGBT teen needs trusted adults in their lives who loves, supports and sustains them, no matter which path they choose.

It's hard for queer teens to see a path inside the church when taught all sources of joy & happiness are forbidden from them, and even basic questions about their place & purpose in The Plan seem unanswerable.

Queer youth look around church and don’t see themselves in the lessons (except possibly as the bad guys), they don’t see queer adults in their wards. They are not shown a future in church. Our stake is unusual in that I’m open that I’m gay and I’ve been in stake leadership almost 9 years, much of that time participating in youth conferences, stake youth activities, and even DJ of the dances. 

—————————

If I had a chance to speak with an LGBTQ teen, I'd want them to know their Heavenly Parents love them very much. I'd encourage them to go home and pray, asking if their Heavenly Parents love them and hope they receive a strong answer. I'd also say that we don't know what the future holds, but they get to work out their future in collaboration with God.

They have a lot of hard questions and decisions to make, they don’t need to know the all the answers right now. Future decisions can wait for the future.

I'd remind them of the Spirit. When they pray about a choice, do they feel peace, content, settled, warm, calm, and things becoming clear in your mind? Or do they feel muddled, unsettled or unsure, or having trouble remaining focused on the idea? Those are ways the Spirit confirms or doesn’t confirm our choices. This will be useful for them as they work out their future.

Even if they decide they need a break, they can return with no judgement and come sit with us, we love them.

—————————

Stats are that probably 10%~15% of our youth are queer. If we have 200 active youth in our stake, that would be 20~30 of them are queer. Plus many more who have queer family or friends.

If you're planning an activity or lesson about dating or celestial marriage, at a minimum make sure it's known that's what the lesson or activity is about so that those who want to skip it can do so. Not all will have the choice to skip, so also put time into how you address any topic about queer people because you’re likely speaking to them face-to-face. Before and/or having the activity or lesson, say something like "I know there are people who won't get married, perhaps because they're gay or for other reasons. This is okay. I love you and the Lord has a plan for you."

—————————

In my opinion, the #1 job for an ally is to speak up if you hear something questionable or bigoted being said. You never know if there's someone in the room is queer and closeted, or who has friends/relatives who are queer. Speaking up lets them know you're a safe person. 

If something homophobic or transphobic is said and no one speaks up to oppose it, that silence is seen as agreement. Sometimes as a gay member, I just don't have the energy to yet again stand alone against these types of statements and it is a relief for me to know someone else is willing to do some of the work, and if I choose to speak, I know I'm not alone.

—————————

We encourage all youth to follow the Law of Chastity, which considering none of them are married, you'd think would be the same for all of them. But is it?

If 2 boys are slow dancing together at the stake youth dance, are they going to be split up and told we don't encourage or allow that here? 

There’s a lesbian teen signed up for girls camp. Do you let her sleep & room in the same cabin as other young women?

If you learn that some gay girls from the different wards have started taking each other out to eat and then to the park or to see a movie or other things that sound like a date, do you bring it to their bishop's attention? 

If you are having a stake activity and it involves dating or marriage, and a youth tells you they’re uncomfortable or they don’t want to participate, what do you do?

—————————

I'm president of the Florida chapter of Affirmation. My VP is in Orlando is also certified to teach QPR, which is training on how to respond to someone who is suicidal. If there's interest, she is willing to teach people in our stake. I checked with her, the cost is $3 per person for training materials, and the classes shouldn't be more than 20 people in size. If you and possibly other ward or stake youth leaders would like to complete the QPR training, I can get this arranged. 

—————————

I’ve known a number gay youth from our stake, and many more from across the country and world They are incredible. They have some amazing gifts. Even if they wind up taking a path out of the church, you can still love them and be a mentor to them. You can listen to their goals and dreams and help them see how to achieve those, encourage them in good aspirations. They should know someone at church loves and values them.

[faean]

Prince Sidon x Male Reader (Part 1/2)

Rating: T; Mentions of Blood/Death

Word Length: 1,960 words

Title: The Prince’s Folly

             -----

          “What’s a Hylian doing in Zora’s Domain?”

          “Isn’t he the one who used to live in Hyrule Castle teaching magic?”

          “Didn’t he travel the world? Why’d he choose to stay here after the Calamity?”

          “Did you hear? King Dorephan tasked him with slaying the Lynel since it’s been resurrected. I hope he survives...”

          “The council is hoping he doesn’t make it. They’re still so angry at the Hylians and their Champion, even after Mipha’s spirit told us not to be remorseful.”

          “I can’t believe it! He actually slew the beast! The Prince even saw him deliver the finishing blow. He’s been telling everyone about it.”

          “For a Hylian, he sure ages like a Zora. It’s been over 50 years and he doesn’t look a day older. He’s even taller than the average Hylian. I wonder if it’s because of his magic.”

          “Do you think the rumors are true? They say he isn’t interested in women. There have been a few female Hylians, Gerudo, even female Zora and Gorons approach him and he’s politely declined them all.”

          “I think the rumors might be true. He acts differently when around the Prince, and the Prince has been spending more time with him, too.”

          It’s been almost 75 years, and every day still brings something new. Sometimes it’s the council coming up with some asinine task for you to complete to get you to leave the domain, even if you always complete them with little difficulty. Sometimes it’s patrolling the borders and the dam. Sometimes it’s going out for more supplies. And, after every blood moon, you leave to confront the Lynel that terrorizes the Zora atop Ploymus Mountain. After so many decades, the fights end swiftly and without incident.

          Until recently.

          The Zora Prince, Sidon, has been spending every bit of free time with you. He joins you on patrols, short trading journeys, and the tasks the council sends you on, much to their dismay. Unfortunately, their hatred against Hylians seems to overrule their worry about the sole heir of the Zora. Either they are resentful he holds no grudges against Hylians like they do, or they actually recognize your skill and don’t fear for his safety. Hopefully, it was the latter.

          You didn’t mind his company, of course. For a while, most of the Zora were wary of you, though the younger generations, including Sidon’s, were much less discriminatory and more friendly, even going so far as to argue against some of the council’s decisions. There was one thing about Sidon’s presence that bothered you, though.

          You were hopelessly in love with him, and you had the sensation that he knew, considering the rumors surrounding your interactions with female suitors. It wasn’t until your most recent excursion to slay the revived Lynel once more that everything was brought to light…

          Many decades ago, back when I first moved to the Zora’s Domain after the Calamity, King Dorephan asked me to fight a Lynel atop a nearby mountain that had been terrorizing the Zora after the power of Calamity Ganon brought it back on a Blood Moon.

          As a Hylian, the shock arrows it fired would not be immediately fatal to me, and my prowess with magic was renowned, having granted me longevity and the opportunity to teach Princess Zelda (though, her obsession with ancient Sheikah technology limited my involvement). For me, (Y/N) (L/N), the Master of Magic, it would have been easy.

          Would have been.

          During the battle, I managed to avoid every one of the beast’s attacks, and had dealt several serious blows; however, the Lynel’s natural resistance to all the elements drained me of my energy as I used stronger and more costly spells to counter it. I had received some training with spears, bows, and blades, but not enough to rival that of a savage and cunning Lynel. Near the end of the battle, a certain young Prince had become entranced and stepped out further from his hiding place where he was watching.

          The Lynel did not hesitate to take aim, and the young Prince was frozen in fear. He didn’t see what happened next, too afraid to open his eyes until he heard my voice softly comforting him.

          There was no sign of the Lynel, just a jagged pillar of earth and the spoils of the slain beast. The Prince completely forgot his fear and was gushing over me and the battle, unaware of the cost of my victory. I escorted him back, presenting the spoils to the King as proof before leaving to my own home. Once alone, I uttered a few cryptic words and my clothing turned a deep crimson red.

          Now, he joined you again, but with your knowledge and the intent to fight. You instructed him on the beast’s tactics and abilities, as well as your usual strategy. You would wait until it put away its sword and shield to charge at you, and you would proceed to meet it head on by sliding underneath it to slay it in a single blow. Expending most of your magical energy, you focused it in between your hands before expending it all in a single devastating strike, piercing through its underside and disintegrating most of its body.

          With the Prince at your side, and with his skill with a bow, he’d get the beast’s attention before you struck it from behind. A simple diversion, yet wholly effective in theory. Even if the Lynel charged him, the Prince was more than capable with a spear.

          At least, that was the idea.

          The Lynel, in its cruel intelligence, was aligned perfectly with the Prince, preventing you from delivering the final blow. It cocked its shock arrows, ignoring the Prince’s own shots. Without hesitation and further thought, you dashed in front of the of the Prince and took the hit, just like you did all those years ago.

          Sidon’s eyes went wide with fear and realization as he saw the electricity course through your body, three arrows embedded across your chest. He watched as you shakily stood and proceeded to take a deep breath, blood pouring from your wounds as you raised your hands. He shielded his eyes from the bright light that followed, and when he could finally see again, all that was left were the creature’s weapons, parts, and a sizable crater in the ground from your attack. He meant to congratulate you, but you staggered and fell before he could, staining the grass blood red.

          -----

          “You have scars on your thighs… This isn’t the first time you took a Lynel’s arrows for me, is it?”

          The Prince was sitting at the foot of the large bed you were in, having brought you back to receive medical attention. He wouldn’t meet your gaze as you sat up, wincing at the pain and holding back a string of swears. You looked over at the Prince, saddened by how hurt he looked. He always wore a smile on his face, bringing cheer to the Zora people and working to keep the peace. He was treasured among his people, and even Lurelin Village and beyond, having saved them from a massive Octorok.

          But now? He had no smile; his eyes were dull, and his shoulders slumped.

          “My Prince … do not blame yourself. I made my choice that day, just as I made my choice today. It’ll take a lot more than a few arrows to take me down, and I would gladly take another if it meant keeping you safe.”

          Sidon was silent for a few moments before he wiped the tears from his face, turning to you with a bright smile and saying, “Have I told you just how much I appreciate everything you do? Because I really do appreciate all you do!”

          Admittedly, it was a little forced, but you still thought it admirable.

          “All right, now that that’s out of the way, I need a nap. I’m exhausted, and this isn’t my bed.” You breathed out as you rolled your shoulders.

          There was a brief pause before Sidon sheepishly told you that it was actually his bed you’ve been resting in for the past few days, since the healers thought it wasn’t a good idea to carry you all the way to your house while injured.

          “Wait, if I’ve been out for several days, then where have you been sleeping?” You asked, more worried about the Prince’s sleep than your own self.

          “… I’ve been here. I couldn’t bring myself to leave your side. The healers said you might not pull through, and I prayed to Mipha’s spirit to watch over you… The King … My father says it was survivor’s guilt, but I… (Y/N) … It was much more than that…” Sidon made his way around the bed to sit beside you.

          A massive blush spread across your face with how close he was, fortunately, he was looking down at the bed and not at you, though you would rather he met your gaze.

          “(Y/N), for an awfully long time now, I have been wishing to spend every day by your side. It’s why I join you on your assignments and invite you to every event I must attend. It’s why I convinced you and my father to let me fight beside you, but…” Sidon, without realizing it, took your hand in his, holding on to it as he spoke.

          “When you protected me, I remembered … I remembered when I was young and watched your fight with the Lynel for the first time, much like my sister had with the Hylian Champion. You had protected me back then, and you hid your injuries from me and even walked me all the way back home…” You felt him squeeze your hand as he continued, and you instinctively moved closer to him, coming to lean against him.

          “In that moment of realization, I knew exactly why I wished to be with you.”

          He turned to face you, taking your other hand is his own and leaning down, his eyes closed by the time his lips connected with yours. You melted into him, happily kissing back.

          -----

          Several (more) years went by, and you could not be happier. You and Sidon were officially a couple, and although the King was hesitant about your relationship at first, he saw how much joy you brought to Sidon, and that showed in everything he did. He accepted it, much to the further dismay of the council. Also a few of the female Zora who were huge fans of the Prince, but most were simply happy that he was happy. Sort of…

          -----

          “(Y/N), my beloved! You’ve returned! How was your trip?” The Prince asked when he reunited with you, sweeping you off your feet as he enveloped you in a hug.

          “Hot. Cold. I always forget the extremes of the Gerudo Desert until I inevitably return for some supplies. I’m just glad my contact is still willing to trade on my behalf. Anyway, let me drop off some things and I’ll meet you back in your room.” You punctuated this with a quick kiss to Sidon’s hand as he let you go.

          He was more than excited that you were back, not because you’ve been gone for a couple of weeks, but because he had been planning something special to mark your next anniversary, which takes place just a few days from today. The two of you have been through a lot since you got together, you more than him with how the council acts, but it bothered him more than you, funnily enough. Especially when they tried to convince him that conceiving a future heir was more important than love and happiness.

          Which got him thinking…

          -----

          Part 2: TBD

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Hanahaki Disease + Flowers for Demon Brothers & Diavolo (Part 2)

Scenario: Which flowers would the demon brothers be inflicted with when they develop Hanahaki Disease falling in love with you? +  Headcanons to how they would deal with it. 

(includes pictures of flowers 🌻🌺)

[PART 1] INCLUDES: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan

PART 2 INCLUDES: Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor + BONUS: Diavolo

Note: BIG PINING ENERGY + Unrequited Love aka ANGST; aesthetic coughing up bouquets i feel like writing this out just made me fall in love with diavolo lol 

Asmodeus

Narcissus = stay as sweet at you are; unrequited love

Asmo knows as soon as he makes the pact with you that you are different, and it is only confirmed when he yearns to be around you more. The warmth in his chest is leagues different from the embers of desire-- and more painful, when he cannot seem to stop coughing out bright yellow narcissus petals. He glares at them as they’re scattered onto his pink bedsheet as if he could will them away. They’re only reminders of what he already knows to be unrequited love-- he’s seen the way your eyes stray to his other brothers over him, and yet he cannot seem to be angry at you, sweet as you are. He gathers the petals into his hand, wishing you could look at him instead.

Aster = symbol of love, daintiness

There is a softness in love that makes Asmo hurt every time he looks at you and smiles. He’s tried to avoid you, resentfully flushing the petals down into the drain so they would stop reminding him that he’s not loved back, but it doesn’t work. The asters come in bouquets, choking him in his love for you. He doesn’t hate them, painful as they are, because they are as beautiful as you are-- a manifestation of his feelings for you. The tightness in his chest lessens when he showers you with his affection like this was what he was always meant to do.

(Purple) Stock = “You’ll always be beautiful to me”

Asmo knows what colors suit you best, what best brings out the shine in your eyes, and what complements the tone of your skin and smile. He remembers coughing out soft lavender petals of stock and thinking how lovely you would look holding these in your hands. The pain of the flowers does not lessen, but he finds that he can appreciate how light you make him feel, how you can distract him and indulge him. He imagines what you would look like on your wedding, dressed in white and decorated with the most beautiful flowers and realizes that no matter how you change, you will always be beautiful to him, whether you love him back or not-- and perhaps that is the biggest expression of love he could ever give anyone.

When you leave the Devildom, he does not tell you his feelings if he has the slightest hint that you like one of his other brothers

Holds onto the feeling of loving you as long as he can until his brothers force him to remove it for his own sake

He feels empty without it-- without his love for him consuming him, and he searches to fill that void elsewhere

Beelzebub

(White) Sweet Alyssum = beauty, protection

The night after Beel makes a pact with you, he hides away the small buds of sweet alyssum before you can see them. He hesitates to wake you, how scared you must have been to stand up against Lucifer for him and Luke and how sweet you were to have held his hands during his nightmare. But he knows, vividly well, that humans are weak-- in body, though not in mind, and he does not want you to get a cold or hurt yourself, sleeping like that. Beel carries your small and warm body into his arms gently, putting you into his bed and tucking the blanket up to your chin. He doesn’t realize it then, but the pact he has made was a promise to protect you, just as you have done for him. He brushes your hair away from your sleeping face, careful not to wake you, and wonders if you have always been this beautiful. 

Lily of the Valley = sweetness, purity, pure love, humility; “You’ve made my life complete.”

Your presence fills him up to the point that he no longer feels hungry. It is a different fullness from being stuffed with food, and it is a more pleasant feeling than being suffocated by the flowers that his lungs choke on. He is looking wherever you are, whether he knows it or not, guiding you where he can and staying by your side if you allow it. He is proud to be by your side, humbled by your ability to mend the fraying bonds of his family, and in love with the way you never stray from who you are. The pain of flowers is nothing compared to the joy he feels when he is around his family that now includes you. 

Bellflower = unwavering love

“You should tell them how you feel,” Belphie tells him quietly when he sees the wild bellflowers tumble from Beel’s mouth. “They’re leaving soon.” 

Beel nods, gathering the petals and tossing them into the trash like clockwork. His hands tremble and he wishes he weren’t so scared to hear your answer. He knows his feelings for you will not change, regardless of whether you return them, but he yearns-- he hopes you do love him back. That you want to stay by his side whatever the cost, that you want to wipe away his tears and protect him just like he wanted to do for you. Come what may, he holds this feeling in his heart, hoping it does not forget its imprint even when he must cut it away.

He does confess to you and cannot hide his disappointment when you do not return his feelings

He takes his due time to mourn before cutting the feelings away before he worries his brothers, and never tells them that he feels like he feels like he’s been carved open and left empty

Belphegor

(Purple) Hyacinth = “Please forgive me”; protection from harm; love and happiness

The purple hyacinths taste of lingering regret and the new sweetness of a budding love. Bephie grimaces at the texture of petals on his tongue but says nothing else. It seems fitting that he would come with the Hanahaki disease, because whatever he cannot apologize for in words, he can make it up through action. He vows to protect you from harm, wish you love and happiness, and beg for your forgiveness by making a pact with you. If this suffocating feeling is what he must go through to gain your trust again and receive a little bit of your grace that he knows he does not yet deserve, then he will stay quiet until his lungs run out of flowers. 

(White) Gardenia = secret love; you’re lovely

Belphie catches himself looking at you when he thinks you can’t see him more often. He feigns waking up from a nap whenever you do notice him, hoping that you don’t put together the pieces that spell out his love for you. The white gardenia petals fall from his lips a little easier when he knows he’s resigned himself from loving you from afar, in secret. He knows he has no right to confess to you, not yet, when he cannot seem to find enough time to spend with you, to make up for lost time when he was in the attic and when he walked on eggshells around you. 

Violets = loyalty, devotion, faithfulness, modesty; “I’ll always be true”

As much as he feels that he does not deserve your love, Belphie yearns for it anyways. He wants to ask you to stay, if not for him, then at least for Beel-- he knows the flowers’ roots will not dig as deeply if you chose Beel over his other brothers, including himself. He wonders if he compensated the desire to be close to you by distancing himself so you don’t notice how hard he has fallen for you, but finds that he does not mind, in the end. He’ll come when you need him, but if not-- he is content with loving you anyways. 

He doesn’t dare confess to you, and he finds that it was a good decision when you can say farewell to him in good terms

He does very well in hiding his affliction from his brothers up to the point the flowers threaten to kill him; probably has to be forced to get his feelings cut away, convinced only when Beel tells him he cannot bear to live without him after losing Lilith

Belphie cannot say no to his twin

Bonus:

Diavolo

(Purple) Heather = admiration, solitude

Diavolo knows that allowing a human with no magical powers into the Devildom was a risk, knowing very well that things could go wrong. He’s pleasantly surprised when not only do you do well in RAD but you excel in making connections with demons and angels alike, creating the bonds that he believes will be a cornerstone for the success of the exchange program. When you arrive at his doorsteps with his six council members in tow, he is again blown away by your courage and your strength of character. He feels that he should be more surprised that not a week later, tufts of purple heather fall from his lips onto his hands, manifesting his admiration for you in physical form. Ah, but he knows what he feels is not as simple as admiration. Jealousy, perhaps? Or even the feeling of solitude, watching you act freely and love as you please with the demons you now call your family. (He wonders if he is more envious of you or the demon brothers.)

Rue = Grace, clear vision 

You continue to surprise him time and time again with the grace you handle difficult situations and the clarity in which you see the situations around you. You would make a formidable queen by his side, he thinks when he sees the soft rue petals fall onto the floor from his lips. He finds himself frustrated at himself at times; for the Prince of Hell to be afflicted with the flowers of yearning is foolish of him. But yet at the same time, how could he possibly help it? You are a novelty in his life as you are lovely, treating him as you would everyone else with dignity, kindness, and a softness he has begun to fall for. 

(White) Zinnia = lasting love, goodness, constancy

The plights of royalty have no bounds it seems, when Diavolo knows that he cannot even ask you to stay in the Devildom without making his words seem to have underlying meaning and significance. Yes, he admits that your role as the exchange student and human ambassador would certainly make for a beneficial treaty between the two realms, but he knows too well that he cannot ask you to leave your life behind when you have already done so much. And he does not want to taint his feelings for you with politics-- the white zinnias that appear from his lungs tell him of your goodness and the constancy in which he relies on you-- a love that will last until he is forced to give it up once the illness becomes too much to bear. 

He cannot tell Lucifer, despite how much he desperately wants to confide in his closest friend-- what would he think? The Prince of Hell falling for a human who has the hearts of all of his council members

Only Barbatos knows-- as he does, and he reminds Diavolo when the time has come to remove his flowers before he falls ill beyond repair

[some-dr-writings]

v3 girls x SHSL Toy Maker

Kaede Akamatsu:

·       Your girlfriend loved your toys. She’d always gush over them and would so happily watch as you worked away on any project without a care in the world. Her favorites though were the wooden ones, just seeing how you chiseled, sanded and worked with the wood was just so interesting to her.

·       Obviously, you gave her a toy piano for her birthday once, and it immediately was her most cherished possession. It was tiny, just big enough to be played with one hand, so Kaede took it wherever she went, keeping it close as a reminder of you and her most favorite thing in the world. It actually took her quite a bit of time to get used to it, but once she had mastered it, she’d play it whenever she wanted should there not be a piano around.

·       “Hey, how’s my pianist do- oh?” As you entered the dressing room you found Kaede playing you little toy piano. “Ah, Y/N! I thought no one aside from the performers were allowed backstage.” “Yeah… but who ever said I wouldn’t break the rules. I just had to come see you before the recital!” You eagerly sat beside her, just needing to get closer to that entrancing smile. “Getting in some extra practice before the big performance?” “Actually, no.” “Hmm?” She sheepishly laughed, holding your little piano close. “Just calming my nerves. Since I thought I couldn’t have you by my side, I started playing your piano. It’s helped a lot.” It became a tradition for Kaede to play you piano before any performance. It was able to calm her no matter what song she played on it.

·       Whenever it was out of tune, even just a little she’d immediately take it to you for repairs. It was usually a quick fix, but she still loved watching you work away on repairing it.

·       You also began making little music boxes for yourself. Though not pianos, you placed in Kaede’s favorite songs and before going to sleep, would wind one and have it play should the pair of you be apart. Sometime you’d even send her one so she’d know you were thinking of her.

    Kirumi Tojo:

·       Like for everyone else, she wanted to be our maid and assist you in whatever way she could and help you become even greater than you already were. “Oh, uh… Sorry, but I don’t need anything. I won’t want much either. I’ve heard how people you work for become amazing and stuff, but… I’m happy with my simply life. I don’t want it to get any greater than this. Honestly, only reason I came to Hope’s Peak is so I’d have an excuse to make more toys without my guardians telling me to study more. I’d be happy to be your friend though! Are there any toys you liked as a kid, I know I could make a nice one for you!” On occasion you’d amuse Kirumi and accept her assistance, but for the most part you’d simply decline and ask if you could make anything for her.

·       Kirumi truly just enjoyed helping others, there was nothing else she wanted so it seemed no toy would be of satisfaction to her, only after getting together did you finally come up with something. “A doll?” “Yeah! If somehow you can’t find anything to do for anyone, you can serve the doll. Its pockets are filled with requests for you to do for it, and if this doesn’t feel like real requests to do for you, I request that you care for the doll when you have nothing else to take care of!” “I will do my utmost to fulfill your wish.” You didn’t think Kirumi would actually play with the doll, but the smile on her face at finally receiving a request from you was enough to make you know it was worth it.

·       Surprisingly on occasion you would see Kirumi entertaining the doll, whether it be it be having tea parties, or one of the many other requests you had written down. You eventually found out that no matter where Kirumi went, she took the doll with her in case she had a moment of free time she could dedicate to it. You were her partner after all, though she did so for everyone, for you especially she wanted to complete your requests to the best of her abilities. And thought it never came up in conversation, she always had it around because she liked having something you had placed so much time and effort into just for her nearby.

   Himiko Yumeno:

·       Both being entertainers of sorts you both immediately clicked, you both loved making others smile and bringing joy to them through your work.

·       Not only did you and Himiko become romantic partners but business partners as well, you making and selling various toys based off of Himiko, her magic, and of her ‘familiar’ as well. They were a big hit with both children and adults. Sometimes you and Himiko would have long discussions bouncing ideas off one another about what toys to make next. An action figure? A wand? Perhaps some stuffies or a magic broom stick? On occasion one of you would start to go more abstract like suggest something like a pinball machine or soundboard, maybe even a skateboard. Sometimes it became a sort of competition for who could come up with the most outlandish, yet realistic and feasible items to make and sell.

·       Often you’d spend your time whittling away making toys for Himiko, she rather enjoyed them, no matter what they may be. She also liked watching you make them. You were so skilled with those fingers and many other things like woodworking, sewing, painting, and other such things. Sometimes she’d toy with the idea of you being her assistant.

·       You always had Himiko test your toys to make sure they worked properly if they were more electronic in nature or some such.

·       You both liked doing whatever you could to support one another through your own pursuits, you were simply great partners for one another.

   Maki Harukawa:

·       Being with you always felt… nostalgic to her, especially when you made toys for younger children. How you were so tender, kind, and respectful to them, you reminded her of how many of the older kids at the orphanage acted when they weren’t tired and annoyed at having to be babysitters all the time.

·       You had taken to making and donating toys to orphanages, mostly to the one Maki was from though. You were only one person so you couldn’t make many too quickly, but what you did make was durable and could last for several generations while still being fun and not needing too much maintenance.

·       You also gave Maki toys on occasion and would play with them with her. Since she had to spend most of her childhood training you wanted to give her a little something to let her indulge in just being carefree for a time. She cherished these gifts and moments almost more than anything else. Being with you was always just so nice and peaceful.

·       You taught Maki a few things like how to sew. It took a long time, there were many failed attempts and bleeding fingers, but she eventually got the hang of it. She’d sometimes help you with your projects or even repair some of the kids’ clothes, it started with simple things like you asking her to connect two basic pieces or her adding a patch to some pants, eventually though she was able to do more complicated things. She made a doll for you and a few for the kids. In return for all that you had taught her, Maki would teach you self-defense. Though unlikely it was not impossible for a person to attack you one day so she wanted you to be safe. In her line of work, she couldn’t be attached to anyone, but now you and Kaito and Shuichi and others were in your life, she had connections to people she wanted to be around, so even if it wasn’t much, even if it wasn’t enough to save you should you become an assassin’s target, you could at least not be too troubled by our average crook.

·       You were her irreplaceable partner, she adored you, and for as long as she could, she’d keep you as close as she could, just making little toys with you.

   Tenko Chabashira:

·       She adored everything you made, gushing over how adorable it all was. And she showed every last toy off, much to your embarrassment at times. She was rather loud with her affection, making it so that the whole world knew. Even complete strangers would know the pair of you were partners and that according to your girlfriend, you made the best toys the world had ever known.

·       Often Tenko would drag Himiko into testing your latest creations in order to make sure they worked correctly.

·       Tenko insisted that you teach her how to make toys and she teach you Neo Akkido. She’d say that learning her form of Akkido would help you be a better toy maker, and her learning how to make toys would help her improve her Neo Akkido.  You had no idea how in the world this could work, but just about any excuse to spend more time with your girlfriend was a good excuse in your book, so you eagerly agreed…

·       The training was much more than you expected. She didn’t teach you anything and just went straight to fighting you full force, and you just had to make up your own form to keep up and avoid getting too injured, but you did learn how to fight so her training did work.

·       You were much more gentle when it came to teaching her though her energy and enthusiasm could cause problems at times like accidentally knocking over items and the like. At least it was still fun.

·       Being together could be rather chaotic at times, but it was well worth it.

   Tsumugi Shirogane:

·       Your friendship began with a bet and through it a more romantic relationship bloomed. Tsumugi was showing off a very expensive, limited edition figure she had just gotten in the mail. “Wait, how expensive? But it’s so cheap! You should get your money back, or at least at a discounted price.” Obviously, this comment ticked off the girl, and a bet was made, if you could make a figure of the same character of higher quality that could simultaneously be less expensive from the cost of materials, you prove your point, if not you’d have to apologize to Tsumugi.

·       Not only did you win the bet, Tsumugi absolutely loving your figure, but you had also accidentally won her heart in the process.

·       Tsumugi still bought merchandise of her favorite anime and you always made such things for her despite that, though she did teach you why the official merchandise was so important to her. Often you’d end up analyzing the items whether they still be in the package or not, differing what it’s true price would be without the brand association. If it didn’t match you’d make your own version for Tsumugi which happened more often than not, but the few times you deemed the product worth the price it was a pleasant surprise.

·       Being deft at sewing and many other skills you often assisted Tsumugi in making her cosplays! She even convinced you to indulge in her passion as well. You much preferred making them, and seeing others wear them, but play-acting as the characters could be fun.

·       Sometimes when Tsumugi was at cons or other such similar events, she’d send you toy she found that you might like or might inspire your work. She’d also send you materials for your work, maybe even have you keep some for her own work.

·       Sometimes you’d watch whatever anime Tsumugi was most recently obsessed with when she was away. It was something to remind you of her in particularly lonely moments. Tsumugi would do something similar, play with the toys you had given her.

·       Though things could be rocky on occasion, you were able to work things out and you couldn’t want for another partner.

   Angie Yonaga:

·       “Oh my, how divine! I’m sure Atua has blessed you for such wondrous art!”

·       Angie completely adored and whole heartedly loved your toys, always calling them your art. Whenever she found you working, she always left you be as to not distract you, knowing she’d want you to do the same if she were working on her art. She’d even go out of her way to get more materials for you if she had noticed if you were starting to run low or if you were using one particular material a lot for a time. If any of your tools broke or needed repair, she already knew just the place to get another one of high quality.

·       As one ‘blessed by Atua’ you were the only person she allowed to be in the same room with her as she worked, as long as you were working as well. This was for two reasons, one, to not distract her and two, so that Atua may take possession of you too and help make your creations even more wonderful!

·       Though she never needed inspiration, because she had Atua, she would go walking around town with you to do whatever, giving you a new change of pace, which would hopefully help you get out of your rut and be filled with new creativity to create more!

·       Even with her colorful background, she understood you more than most others ever could when it came to your work. She would do anything to assist you, because aside from her god, you were the person she loved most.

   Miu Iruma:

·       “Hey, you’re the toy maker, right?” “Yes?” “You can make adult toys, right?” “What do you take me for!?... Of course I can!” “Oh ho ho, This’ll be fun!”

·       Miu was certainly an interesting client turned partner. Whatever you made, she wanted to add improvements to it, no matter how off the wall it may be. She was in inventor after all so tinkering with toys likely just came naturally to her.

·       What you did find surprising though is that she never wanted you to make anything sexual for her. She never admitted it directly, but she always just wanted normal toys. Model train sets, bouncy balls, remote control cars, simple things like those. Often, she’d end up ‘enhancing’ them in her own way, yet still, she wouldn’t ask for anything else. For as lewd and crude as she could be there was something about her that was also young at heart in a way, in fact that could be why she was so loud and overconfident much of the time. But then you’d remember that you’re teenagers and you were sounding like an older person with this line of thinking and would stop yourself.

·       Miu would insist on working in her lab so she could make tweaks to your designs as you were making them. Things usually got out of hand like making a toy robot that could turn into a cannon and shoot fireworks, or it’d have rocket fists powerful enough to knock out a full grown, healthy adult. Not long after making such items Kokichi would pop up, asking to borrow your toys, and who were you to deny him, toys were meant to be played with, and inevitably not long later you’d hear of Kokichi’s latest prank involving whatever toy Kokichi had borrowed from you and Miu, often getting a laugh out of her.

·       Things usually got out of hand rather quickly when you were with one another, but it was a fun, calm sort of chaos

[thehappyrealityproject]

Message from Mariya:

Creating a Happy Reality

Hey everyone! I believe an update is in order! Last time I posted on my blog was September 2019, and now it’s April 2021.

First, I’d like to say that I’m very thankful for my friend, who agreed to type up this message and post it. I’m also very thankful for this incredible tech-free journey, which turned out to be more like a gradual letting go of things rather than letting go of everything that I wanted to let go of at once, and the many wonderful discoveries I made because of it. 

Recent discoveries: Not using artificial lights makes it a lot easier to go to bed earlier and promotes a sense of inner peace, while not checking the time lowers anxiety.

At the core of why I wanted to leave modern technology was a deep desire to reconnect with myself and the magic of real life. And the electrical sensitivity – which reflected my deep dissatisfaction – provided me with the motivation to actually do it.

“Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it.” – Rollo May

The aim of everyday modern technology is to get things done faster, but what that actually does is keep people away from fully living.

Relatable excerpt from a book I was recently writing:

“I see what’s going on here,” said George.

“You do?” I asked.

“Yes. People are skipping the journey and going straight to the destination. You want food? Pop a package in the microwave. You want clothes? Order some online. You want to travel to a new faraway place? A plane will get you there while you sleep. ‘Instant gratification,’ they say. Yet that’s not gratifying at all. Life isn’t about the destination, it’s all about the journey. There is joy in cooking. There is joy in growing your own food and making your own clothing, too. The end result contains only a tiny fraction of the joy compared to the whole experience. People have forgotten this. They’ve replaced the whole experience with activities that only leave them feeling empty, like sitting online all day or watching television. On the flip side, if they returned to the whole experience of things, they might appreciate it much more, knowing that the alternative is senseless; it literally doesn’t require most of the senses. So there is a great lesson in this, one that I’ve learned myself. Maybe that was the reason for why it all came to be this way,” he replied.

I learned that many of the things that people think they need and often seek happiness through are not only the very same things that distract them and keep them away from the happiness they seek (which happens to be our natural state), but also cause harm to them, the environment, and the very life that sustains us – stuff that we actually do need! 

For instance, something we really need – like clean air – is completely taken for granted and diminished because of car fumes (one of the top causes of air pollution) and smoking. The population of bees, which are vital to many of the foods we eat, is decreasing at an alarming rate because of cell phone signals and pesticides. 

Wild nature, another thing we really need, has also diminished. The less I distract myself, the more I feel like I need to be there. I wonder, are we all consciously or subconsciously distracting ourselves from that need? After all, deep down, we are wild creatures who were conditioned to be otherwise.  

In other words, we need much less than we think we do, and we need to protect and take better care of that which we actually do need.

As I was letting go of electronics/modern technology, another interesting thing happened: I became increasingly aware of the state of modern society, AKA the comfortable prison, and it didn’t take long for me to want to leave that behind as well.

I noticed that cities have significantly small amounts of trees; some blocks don’t have any at all. There’s concrete all around, “Keep Off the Grass” signs, overcrowded stores with plastic everywhere, car/train/construction noises, saturation of cars, car fumes, and contrails being dispersed in the sky, releasing carbon dioxide and soot into the atmosphere. Some people are afraid of opening windows because of fumes.

Suburbs have perfectly manicured lawns, so much so that nobody steps on top of them. “Private Property” signs. There’s still concrete all around. Nobody is outside. Why? They’re all inside, staring at screens.

More rural areas have power lines hanging everywhere. Any sensitive or energy-intuitive person can feel the unpleasant energy coming from them. Houses are farther away from each other, and there are larger lawns. More “Private Property” signs. Again, nobody is outside. Same reason. Whether here or in the suburbs, people don’t usually take walks, they take their car everywhere. Unless people choose to exercise, movement is minimized and so is strength. A common theme in these places is stagnation and isolation. 

Most people pollute their bodies with drugs, alcohol, or smoking, and it’s considered completely normal to do so. In fact, many of them get startled when they discover that someone chooses not to do that.

Ironically, organic food, AKA real food, which is our birthright, is considered a luxury now and costs more than fake food.

Is this what they call progression?

I just want to add that even if this really upsets some people, it’s important to know in order to be inspired to create some real and amazing changes. Once you know what is going on, you can turn your attention towards creating what you do want.

I never used to be one of those people who focused on global issues much, but they’ve gotten so out of hand that they are affecting normal day-to-day living. This is not normal.

Meanwhile, I was just looking for a quiet place in nature where I could take walks barefoot on grass (a very natural and beneficial practice), relax, breathe fresh clean air, and not have to ask someone to drive me to a state park.

Can you live in nature without a car? YES. By becoming more self-sufficient.

Last summer, I met a family that grows their own organic fruits and vegetables (and what a magical thing that is!) without any machinery. They shared their strawberries with me. By the way, there are books that teach you how to grow everything, even how to make your own flour and yarn. That’s how they learned their skills. 

I realized that you don’t actually need money to live a joyful life and that the money and exchanging goods and services system is an outdated fear-based system that completely eradicates the joy of giving – one of the highest joys we can experience here. Giving to receive doesn’t feel nearly as good. That’s why many people don’t feel comfortable with that system, even if they do what they enjoy.

So if modern technology or modern society isn’t progression, then what is?

Love. Becoming more loving and allowing yourself to be loved! 

Treating ourselves, others, and the planet with kindness and love, realizing that we’re all connected. That includes not using substances that pollute your own body. 

Falling in love with your uniqueness and the uniqueness of others. 

Falling in love with life!

That’s what it’s always been about, folks.

At this point, however, it’s also about creating a completely different and better way of life. So what I’d like to do is bring The Happy Reality Project into real life, where it was always meant to be, and create an intentional community that reflects happiness and the true meaning of progression. This community can later extend to other places around the world.

Details below:

I’m looking for people who feel like they’re done with modern society – done with distractions, staring at screens all day, being around drug use/alcohol/smoking, air pollution, light pollution, and all the other pollutions, the concrete jungle, the rat race, stagnation, hiding and feeling shame or being shamed for their own beautiful bodies, etc., and done with being under the spell that this is all normal. I’m looking for people who see through the illusion and know that this isn’t progression, but actually quite the opposite. I’m looking for people who want to create something new with me and would be interested in living off the grid without electricity or electronics, observing a sky full of stars, dancing to or playing live music, rediscovering the magic of nature, becoming more self-sufficient, and exploring what it truly means to be a human being and to naturally feel happy, free, and alive!

Let’s put life back into life!

Harmony and being in awe with life is the norm.

Location = open for discussion.

If you’re interested or have any ideas or suggestions, send an email to ------, where my friend has agreed to respond.

Almost 4 months later, update: The email has been deleted due to no responses. Perhaps the internet isn’t the best place to find people who want a lifestyle without electronics. Regardless, we still think it was important to share this message.

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost • main masterlist • taglist & faq

previously on...

Chapter 3 is finally here. Sorcerers need their shopping done, too. Beyonce/Wong platonic ship (joking)! And finally some action, more witchy stuff. Bucky whump because I have a saviour complex. Stucky cuteness moment. Some blood/gore in this chapter.

My insides clenched, seeing the yellow and blue notice taped to my door - the building manager rarely left notes, so whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. I had managed to wind myself up into an anxious frenzy by the time I had gone inside and locked my door behind me, immediately thinking I would have to exhaust myself by turning to magic to keep a roof over my head.

For once, the news turned out to be positive: a neighbor was being evicted and turned in to the police for stealing packages. The building manager urged the tenants to report any missing items and apply for a refund when possible, apologizing for the inconvenience. I wondered what prompted this, basically unheard of in NYC, act of kindness as my altar stared at me with mocking amusement, pointing out the obvious by its mere presence.

Grinning to myself, I texted Odette - predictably, she was happy for me, happy that my protection spell had turned out strong and steady, and added a few tips of her own for my spell to stay that way. It felt like I'd grown invisible wings, those days, with all the possibilities open - and never once did I let myself entertain a thought of getting back at an enemy of the past for longer than five seconds.

Sure, it was perfectly human to consider making the cheating ex go bankrupt or make sure the college professor, that failed a couple of students each semester as a 'reality check', trips and face-plants at least once a day... I mean, who wouldn't experience a malicious sort of joy from petty revenge?

But I found my powers were best applied with a positive result in mind. My friend's cat was the first test rat- I mean, living creature I had practiced my healing spells on. The eleven year old kitty was struggling and both me and my friend loved the critter dearly - so the short, but tiring spell I performed yielded exactly the results I was expecting. Odette said something about genuine love backing up the magic, and- well, Dumbledore much?

On humans, it turned out, it wasn't nearly as simple. I didn't know what I had expected would happen after performing nothing short of a whole improv-performace type of ritual right in front of my very puzzled but hopeful friend with chronic asthma, but it wasn't the sheer exhaustion that ran bone-deep and left me bedridden for a whole day.

Odette visited my dingy apartment with her signature enormous purse full of vials she spoon-fed me and trinkets she strategically placed in and around my immediate sleeping area. "There, there," the woman patted my head as I pitifully moaned at the ear-splitting headache. "The first one is always the most challenging. After all, if it would be easy, everyone would do it."

I understood that. But at the same time, it felt unfair that no good deed went unpunished. I told Odette so, raising my voice to the best of my ability as she rummaged around my kitchen.

"Nothing in this world comes out of thin air, whatever you decide to give has to be taken from somewhere," she explained patiently. "People like us are considered hedge witches. We do solitary work and draw most of our energy from the Earth, from mother Nature. We cannot perform miracles, however, the cost of our spells are very low," I felt an immediate peak of interest at the simple yet effective explaination she gave me. "We remain mostly human. Gaia* is kind and generous to the ones who pay respect," Odette continued over the clatter of pans and pots. "There are other kinds of witches - who take from other people, who take from the dead. But taking something by force always leaves scars and taking something from the dead means bringing a piece of them back to places it should not be."

I pondered the words as Odette brought the kettle to a boil, the whistling shriek piercing through my skull like a sharp projectile. "What about Voodoo practitioners?" I couldn't hold back my curiosity.

Odette cleared her throat. "What is left of them is mostly not human. Their gifts are great but the costs are greater. They can live far, far longer than the average witch but their souls will know no peace, just like the souls of the dead they anchor to themselves over time," Odette entered the room with a bowl of tangy, creamy liquid that smelled like pumpkin soup. "We do not bestow any judgement upon our brothers and sisters but it is our duty to inform the young." She cast a pointed glance towards me, passing me the soup and a wooden spoon I didn't know I had. "This should help you recover. Take tomorrow off if needs be."

She left shortly afterwards and I hadn't much strength than to use the bathroom, wash the rune-engraved spoon and curl up in my bed, only waking up when the meager light shone over my face from the window. Sleepy and fog-tinted, the early morning NYC was damp and windy as I stuck my head out of the window to soak my sleep-heated head in the cool air.

As uneventful as the day at the café was, I still wasn't up to 100% energy-wise, but the long walk from Jeremy's to Odette's was pleasantly invigorating. I didn't find the cold autumn moisture displeasing; the small raindrops kept me awake and alert. Odette nodded in muted pleasure as I clocked in and returned the special spoon back to her. The runes on it were interesting; I had taken a picture of them for research purposes, fully intending to craft myself something similar.

"Odette has taken on an apprentice," Wong's voice had me take in several deep breaths in preparation for the inevitable fuck-fest on my patience. "She has been avoiding me. And the girl is painfully slow."

I didn't hear the answer of Wong's companion over the rustling of the boxes I was hastily shoving in their places before the Asian man's temper grew foul. More foul. Ugh. The sharp ding of the bell had me yelling a, "Just a second please, I'll be right with you," while trying to keep my tone polite.

Wong's sour face and a list of items required greeted me as I flew out of the backrooms, noticing the locked doors of Odette's office on my way out. Wong's companion stood at the far end of the store - his robes quite different from the ones I'd seen people of their kind wear, his lithe, tall figure seeming strangely familiar. I squinted my eyes at his back. "Is this all you need?" I waved the list around, increasing the volume of my voice.

The tall man turned around and I could only gape. He, in turn, also froze, the stern, unfriendly expression losing heat and giving way to perplexed wonder. "I had placed an order, for sorcerer Strange," Tony's boyfriend eyed me somewhat sheepishly under Wong's concerned gaze.

I nodded, eyeing Wong in turn, letting satisfaction nestle a warm ball in my chest. Stephen's look of displeasure had turned onto his... Colleague. By the time I finished retrieving Strange's order and packing up the items on Wong's list, the Asian man had left, leaving Stephen to sheepishly pretend to examine the books on the furthest shelf. I waved the paper bags as he took long strides towards me, his fancy, large necklace glimmering under the lights.

"So, how long have you been working here?" Sorcerer Strange asked after I told him the total.

The cash register beeped loudly, coins clattering on the desk as I counted out his change. "Some time now," I shrugged noncommittally. I felt his magnetic eyes gloss over my adornments, the star necklace, the various rings; I could practically feel him coming to his own conclusions. "Long enough for your colleague to get an attitude with me," I had to make sure he knew I would be taking no bullshit from him - or anyone else, for that matter. Odette's opinion on his kind was firm and I was heavily inclined to agree.

"Hmm, I see," Strange was equally as keen on hiding his curiosity. It was a funny thing, really, that we, being adults that we were, treated this encounter like some sort of a dirty secret. "Don't take it personally. Wong is like that with everyone," The man briefly scratched his beard with a gloved hand before pocketing his change and picking up the bags. "Except Beyoncè, maybe," the wink he threw me was positively mischievous as it caught me off-guard, giving him a fox-like appearance.

I sighed as the door shut behind him. Pretty white boys - the ultimate human disasters.

I had no time to dwell on them, however, as something - or someone, hit downtown with all the malicious intentions to wreak havoc on the innocent civilians calmly going about their day. Mutants and people who knew Odette came in hordes, scrapes and bruises and strange wounds that required imminent healing.

My boss was no rookie, she dutifully accepted each and every single soul, looking worse for wear with each minute. Not being able to withstand seeing her drain herself, I simply took over the simplest tasks - and she said nothing, just gave me a nod, instructed to use whatever I needed and write it down somewhere along with the name of the person who required the healing.

As the battle raged, the crowds thinned but the ones who managed to come to Odette's spouted more serious wounds, obviously a result of them fighting back. Mutants covered head to toe with coats and hats and robes, for me to swallow my shock when they undressed - horns, tails and weird skin textures were on the far end of the normal. I dutifully extracted small pieces of information from each and every person I treated.

Yes, the Avengers were winning. No, there aren't many people hurt, most of the damage is cosmetic. Yes, the villain of the week is as stupid as usual. It was like a mantra. Odette poked her head into the spare room every now and then, her eagle eyes briefly scanning over me to make sure I wasn't exterting myself.

As I applied the healing salve to a tiny, pink-skinned woman, bandaging up her hands, my boss entered and closed the door behind her, setting down on the creaky chair with a loud thud. "Just got the news, the Avengers apprehended the terrorist," she sighed long and slow. "We've done all we could, the next few days I'll be handling house calls so you'll be here on your own. I'll probably see you in a few days, don't hesitate to give me a call if something comes up," Odette seemed to be barely standing up, yet when she tore off a few pieces of her jewelry and chucked them into a big tin can under the sink, the glossy sheen in her eyes melted away.

"Okay," I mumbled under the watchful eyes of the mutant woman. "Will there be more people coming in today?"

"No," the woman in front of me snorted. "SHIELD is prowling the streets. They are not fond of us, they always say we intervene unnecessarily even though we willingly do their dirty work so our children could be safe," the bitter, harsh tone took me off-guard.

I had to admit, there was reason behind her words. "Will you be able to get home safely? I have a puffy coat and a hat you can borrow." Figuring an expensive taxi ride would be a better alternative to something terrible happening to the woman, I offered her my winter clothes.

She smiled at me, razor blade teeth and large, red eyes the kindest I'd ever seen on a person. In the end, she took the clothes, promising to bring them back in a few days and Odette gave me a parka that was too small for her frame - despite it smelling like someone's grandma's attic, I found it to be quite lovely vintage. The puffy knitted scarf she added felt like warmth and safety - she had to have knitted it herself, for I knew, handmade items carried a significant amount of energy in them.

The shop was eerily quiet as I cleaned and scrubbed the stained, dirty floors and disposed of the bloody clothes and bandages in the tiny, odd fireplace in Odette's office - that was a thing most peculiar, it burned everything I put in it, but had no chimney, no place for the smoke to exit. Magic.

Something banged loudly against the entrance door. I let out a startled shriek, broomstick falling out of my hand and adding to the sudden cacophony of noise as the figure behind the stained glass slowly slid down the door, a deep, male voice groaning something incomprehensible loud enough for me to hear.

Grabbing a large serrated knife we used for mincing the bones of small animals, I made quiet steps towards the door, seeing a large, obviously humanoid figure helplessly lean on the door. The man's arm glinted chrome black and gunmetal grey in the low light. "Sargent Barnes? Bucky?" I whisper-shouted, carefully plying open the door.

He lifted his head, blood dripping down from it, his face looked like someone went to town on it with a meat mullet, his eyes were unfocused and couldn't keep a straight line. His flesh arm leaned heavily on the door frame, the prosthetic hanging limply, dragging his whole body to its side. It must've weigh a ton.

"Я должен найти капитана Роджерса," he whispered.

I didn't understand Russian at all but I could make out the name of his boyfriend. Which made sense. Bucky looked severely concussed - I idly wondered what exactly they had been fighting, what could have given a freaking super-soldier such a brain-leaking injury. "Sargent Barnes, follow me," I put on my big girl shoes and used my momma bear voice, towing the man behind me.

He, too, weighed a ton, as I stumbled, helping him into the chair in the spare room that became my healing station for today. The longer I looked at Bucky, the less lucid he grew, eyes falling shut as he murmured something in jagged Russian, slurring his words.

There was no time to think about the consequences of exposure of my witchcraft; mortar and pestle, herbs and salves flying everywhere, I assembled a healing spell and memorized the according ritual in what felt like record time. He was bleeding all over the chair, fresh crimson blood pouring out of his nose and mouth and it was all I could see.

I hadn't known true terror until the blood that poured out turned black. Whatever it was in him, it was poisonous - my protection charms grew hot, scalding as they left marks on my skin; powering through the pain and unable to turn my eyes off the convulsing Barnes, I finished the chant just as the flow of vile, tar-like liquid suddenly ceased. It pooled around his feet, dripped down the armrests and matted his long hair. It reeked, too, of copper and putrid meat.

Bucky had passed out somewhere mid-spell, the slow, steady breathing bringing me my own sense of calm. To say that I was drained would be an understatement - my vision swam and my world spun on it's axis as I unlocked Odette's office to messily rummage through a cabinet for the emergency tonic I knew she kept there. I chugged the vial, an avalanche of almost anxious, jittery energy hit me like a freight train - exactly what I needed.

I bought myself a couple hours of time. Cleaning up the sludge around Bucky's feet and removing the outer parts of his gear was easy as he remained as relaxed as a cooked spaghetti noodle. The amount of weapons he had on him was impressive, but those weren't what I was looking for - his phone. It was dead, so I plugged it in, waiting for the 5% to show and bringing it to his fingertips, hoping he used the print recognition instead of the password option... And I lucked out.

"Hello, this is Star, I found a Bucky. Tell Dr. Strange to come get him, he knows where I am." I texted the "Stevie ❤️" contact, my inner fangirl self squealing at the dorky name of his boyfriend's contact in Bucky's phone. Shortly afterwards, I went ahead and snapped a picture of myself next to sleeping Bucky, figuring out some actual proof wouldn't do any harm in this bizarre situation.

The answer didn't let me wait long. "10 minutes" came the first text, and shortly afterwards - "Is Bucky okay??????". I had to snort at the amount of question marks before honestly replying "He will be ☺️" and putting the phone back in Bucky's pocket. I cleaned up and attempted to lift Bucky up, succeeding in waking him up into a half-lucid state, probably courtesy of decades of training and whatnot, to at least drag him to the front of the store. I wasn't particularly comfortable with strangers seeing the backrooms.

Bucky leaned with his back against the counter, ass flat on the floor and a towel with a cold compress pressed to his head when the doors all but flew open, revealing Captain Rogers, still in uniform and Stephen Strange, arguing with his boyfriend, both still suited up and bloody and grimy.

"Uhh," I blinked owlishly, causing the men to stop bickering and stare first at me, then at Bucky. "I think he hit his head," I offered weakly, backing up slightly at the amount of burning eyes staring at me.

"Shortcake, that you?" Tony's eyebrows rose as he surveyed the bodega, the items on the shelves, the black and red blood stains on my previously pristine, yellow shirt.

"Now is not the time, Tony. Go with Rogers, make sure the medical is prepared for Barnes and disable his arm," Strange barked out authoritatively, shooting me a puzzled but compassionate look. "The portal is open. I'll talk to Star, find out what happened." He advanced towards me as Captain picked up Bucky bridal-style as tenderly as he could while making sure the compress stayed on.

"Keep that tone fo the bedroom," Tony's voice was more than displeased as he shot me and Strange a hurt look, but followed Steve into the golden circle right outside the door before it sparked shut.

"Now, now, what happened here?" The sorcerer's voice lowered into a soothing drawl as I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. My shoulders sagged, fingers twitching with anxious energy. The man extended a gloved hand, briefly squeezing my shoulder. "It's alright, take your time."

Damn, did I look that bad?

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(part seven)

Part one. Masterlist!

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Yuri's POV*

(Next week)

A week had passed by in a rather slow pace. Yuri's recovery seemed to never end when it had just been a few days. But those days were spent sleeping and eating, using his phone and sleeping some more. Mostly he had no one to talk to since everyone were busy with their own lives. Especially (Y/n) who had to keep her inner performer alive at all times. Her coach came with the idea of hosting a smaller gig where (Y/n) would perform about two or three numbers for the people of Japan. It was planned out as a small nightclub gig at first but the numbers of interested in Japan rose over the charts and well... (Y/n) said that she didn't want to let anyone down. Though her coach was apparently hesitant into taking more than a hundred people. 'Three numbers are too little for a concert.' They said but the people of Japan insisted on paying for the price a concert ticket anyway.

(Y/n) had told him this two days after his fever started. He remembered it made him scoff at how she decided the ticket would only cost a quarter of what a normal concert ticket would then. He had told her it was a ridiculous way of thinking.

He barely saw her after the first day of his fever. The way Yuri had taken a hold of her hand and fallen asleep... She waited until he woke up. Well, not exactly waited. She fell asleep at the edge of his bed.

And since that, the two of you barely talked during the days. They barely even met before she went to bed because she spent every waking hour to practice her numbers with her backup dancers. She still made you breakfast when she head the time though.

Yuri's glad it would soon be over and he could go back to normal. Everyone had been attending to him like he was some child and he felt like a huge burden. He had told Victor that he wished (Y/n) especially wouldn't just dismiss his attempts at doing things on his own just because he couldn't get out of bed with single effort. 'Right, she told me about that! You fell on your face right after while trying, didn't you?' He had replied.

So... yeah... Yuri wanted things to return to normal real fast. Yakov had promised him that he would get to start his session with (Y/n) as soon as the music for the program was set. And that was what Victor had been helping him with a couple times. It was hard to find something he wanted to use. Everything felt overused and boring. Just another performance. Yuri didn't want it to pass as that. He wanted to stand out and earn his gold medal for real just as last year. Now was also really the year of improvement so the music had to be well thought through. He was certainly going to take advantage of having a coach for emotional performances with him this season as well. Meaning, his free skate program was already set to be something hurtful and strong. Not love, he already did that. Something far more serious. He wanted the audience to cry after his performance. Everyone should be bawling. Yakov, piglet, Victor and even (Y/n).

Most important of all, no one would be expecting him to do a program with such deep meaning. Because he was one to avoid it in the past.

His short program should be something upbeat and flashy. He wanted the choreography so intense that he'd be coughing up blood at the end of the performance, if that was possible. So the music had to make the pulse of the audience rise when hearing it. Meaning, the music would be in the rock genre. And he already had just the song for it.

This performance would show off his skills and flexibility as well as the importance of his stamina since the entire program would be non-stop step sequences and jumps throughout almost the entire music. Since he intended to be in better shape than ever before before the competition started, he felt no point in holding back on anything. If he played it safe, then what was the point?

"Ah! Good morning Yuri! I come bearing gifts!" Victor busted the door open with his foot and stumbled inside the room, balancing a tray in his hand. The tray was set down in front of him and Victor sat down at the end of Yuri's bed.

"Where's (Y/n)?" Yuri was truly surprised to see Victor being the one to bring you the breakfast today. It had been her until now. And he hadn't even seen as much as her face today since she left so early.

"Ouch. I'm replaced already? I can't go on knowing I'm not your favorite anymore, you know." Victor put a dramatic hand to his forehead and fell backwards onto Yuri's legs. The tray with the breakfast threatened to tumble and Yuri made an effort to stabilize it. It was bacon and eggs with apple slices. A part of him felt a little sad that the slices weren't in the shape of stars...

"You were never my favorite, old man. And you didn't answer my question." Yuri picked up the fork and pointed it towards the man slopped unto the bed end. He ignored the sad pout he received and took a bite of the apple cut into pieces. Each slice were to large and it didn't even taste the same even though they were of the same apples like yesterday. The eggs were decent and the bacon slightly undercooked. Victor's efforts to cook for the household during the day were appreciated of course. But there was no wonder why (Y/n) stood for the head of the dinner at days when her schedule wasn't as crazy.

"She's practicing like mad. Called her dancers to say that she would be starting a few hours ahead of time because she got an energy boost. She wants the show to be at her best efforts possible."

"I haven't even seen her today. How can she practice like a maniac when she's probably already learned her numbers flawlessly?"

Victor was watching Yuri with a funny look. Probably wondering where all those questions came from.

"I think the show is a way for her to relax."

Say what? Going out of bed before sunrise and coming back from practice just mere hours before midnight could never be considered relaxation. Yuri would never be able to pull that off. That was an insane view of the word relaxing, definitely.

"The steam and demands from her competition in We are voice are currently lifted off her shoulders like heavy weights, you know. This is probably just fun to her. She doesn't have to compete with anyone. I think it gives her a sense of relief."

Yuri stopped eating and thought a little extra on what Victor said.

Yes. She was always stressed in every video where a fan or a nosy reporter came out of nowhere and started recording. Yuri had seen those videos. Especially the one where the random person happened to record the exact moment her mind broke down and she had a breakdown in front of a large crowd. Now there was no denying that Yuri sees (Y/n) as the most weirdest and ridiculous being alive. The way she is so determined to get her way and how much she cares for strangers she's never met. Yuri kind of still consider the two of them to be strangers, even after two weeks being with each other on a daily basis. Her eyes are also too intense for anyone to be up close with to her face and as if that wasn't enough, she's also a morning person and that's already a big warning sign to stay away from a person.

But even though he had had this mental conversation with him many times. Even though he agreed that he disliked her; he couldn't help but being captivated by her performances.

It felt so weird seeing her cry like that just minutes before her performance and then watching her going on stage having the time of her life. There was no doubt she loved her fans and performing on stage but that was one of those moments where Yuri really got to see the mind behind the happy smile. It was the first time he had seen her crying or feeling a negative emotion. It's still the first but he got a taste of her irritated self not so long ago.

It made Yuri think about her performance that day. It was a remarkable song filled with sheerness and excitement and her eyes were still wet with tears as she got up on stage.

"Remember (Y/n) performing 'Animal' during the acappella collaboration sequence?"

"Yes! One of my favorites. She was so happy on stage that day." While it had been true that she found happiness, it's not to ignore how broken she felt right before. 'Animal' by Neon Trees (A/N: listen to the Glee version of the song for the best acapella dynamic!) Was one of (Y/n)'s best performances, according to Yuri. He had watched it on repeat just this morning. There's really nothing special to the song in itself. It was the way she delivered every word and tune with such bravery after her internal battle like that. Her emotional response has always been on point but this particular song was something completely real and touching with her tears glistening in the corner of her eyes the entire performance. The tears of sadness had been replaced with joy and she had genuinely just been having a great time with the acapella group at her side, cheering and jumping around on stage with stars in her eyes.

'Oh, oh

I want some more

Oh, oh

What are you waiting for?

Say goodbye to my heart tonight'

The chorus were always his favorite part. Maybe it was the interpretation of the love-hate relationship the words of the lyrics intended. (Y/n) was belting out 'what are you waiting for' with such passion even though it was hardly a difficult song to perform.

'Here we are again

I feel the chemicals kickin' in

It's gettin' heavier and

I wanna run and hide

I wanna run and hide'

The short verse got him every time. The way her eyes watered at the end and then were immediately blown away by the chorus once again. The way she let go of her sadness and let her happy thoughts consume her. No, she let the song consume her and gave the song a completely different touch never done before.

Yuri had lost count of the time he'd watched it and he knew the choreography and song in and out by now. It was mainly intended for the purpose of studying her expression and getting some kind of inspiration for his music choice. He wanted his theme of his music choice for the free skate program to be 'to let go'. If there's any theme harder than love, then it's letting go of the thing you love. And not just what you love. Letting go to be able to love as well. Whether it's love for yourself or another person. There are countless interpretations and that's what (Y/n) had performed that day, with no intention whatever of doing it in such a way.

"I have... I have chosen the music for my program. At the inspiration of t-that performance."

Now don't get Yuri wrong. He'd never admit it to anyone that (Y/n) had been an inspiration to his free skate. He would probably had figured out the idea anyway, it would just had taken a little longer. And her performance was his own way to interpret it so he'd been the one to come up with the decision anyway. So in a way, she didn't have anything to do with it. And his choice of song would be far more intense and heartbreaking than anything Neon Trees could produce. And so Yuri told Victor about his music choices even though he had no clue why he put that kind of trust into the man.

"Those are some really clever choices when combined with your own vision. I'm almost a little jealous. Maybe I should just hire (Y/n) as my coach myself. It seems like it did wonders for you already!" The man laughed and patted Yuri on the shoulder.

"Nonsense. She hasn't began coaching me yet. She had no part in this." Yuri pushed away the empty tray to make room for sitting up and crossing his legs.

"Oh, but it seems like you learned a lot by ogling her all day long though." The smirk Yuri received made his teeth grit and his ears flush.

"I-i wasn't ogling her!"

"Then what were you doing exactly? I heard 'Animal' playing for a good 30 minutes from the wall connected to the room beside yours." Victor laughed at the startled freeze of The Russian Punk.

Okay fine. Maybe he went overboard with the video. But a new problem had seemed to appear now as he admitted defeat.

Yuri now had a witness that would have to be taken care of somehow. He leaned forwards and gripped the collar of Victor's shirt in a tight fist. The glare of daggers shot forwards onto the smiling man.

"Tell anyone about it and you're gonna have to reconstruct that pretty nose of yours. That's a promise,not a threat."

"Trust me! You won't hear a peep!"

[raeynbowboi]

DnD 5e UA Subclass Concepts

With the sheer onslaught of new content we’ve gotten from Wizards of the Coast recently, I felt it’d be fun to throw out my own ideas for potential subclass ideas. Some are admittedly a little more fleshed out than others, but it’s still a fun exercise just to flex my creativity.

ARTIFICER

    Cybertronics: Perhaps too much of a retread of Warforged, the base concept is an Artificer who has replaced parts of their body with artificial substitutions.

    Interfacer: Geared towards spying and information gathering, the interfacer is a hacker who is skilled at disabling security, causing machinery to malfunction, and can turn a building’s security cameras into their eyes on the inside. But might rely too heavily on a technologically advanced world.

BARBARIAN

    Hero’s Soul: Your body is host to a legendary warrior. Upon raging, you surrender control of your body to this paramount champion, allowing you to fight like a demigod.   

    Bleeding Heart: Rather than only gaining power through rage, a Barbarian with a Bleeding Heart can form an attachment to mementos as they level up that remind them of intense emotions, with each emotion having different benefits at different levels. So, you could have a memento for every powerful emotion, or you could choose to only keep mementos that trigger a single powerful feeling, such as fear, sadness, or joy.

BARD

    Wilderness: Your song has the ability to attract the attention of woodland critters, and beast creatures will be less hostile toward you. At higher levels, your song can soothe even the most savage beast, making one intelligent creature passive toward you once per long rest.

    Humor: Laughter is the best medicine, and keeping the morale and vitality of your allies high is the primary concern of this bardic subclass. A successful performance check will revitalize friendly creatures. When you’re not lifting your friends’ spirits with your gambols, you’re making yourself a distracting target so that your friends won’t get hurt as much with you around.

CLERIC

    Love     Sea     Fire     Shadow/Darkness     Evil     Plague     Music     Secrets     Fate/Destiny     Luck     Chaos     Time

DRUID

    Unity: You have literally become one with nature. You select a terrain and bond so deeply that the world has started to live in you. Whether birds nest in your hair, barnacles and coral has begun to sprout out of your body, or your hair has turned into leaves, your bond with nature has reached the pinnacle.

    Menagerie: As you level up, certain parts of your body will be given the option to permanently morph into having bestial traits. For example, you might choose the predatory eyes of a hawk, the keen smelling of a dog, the superb hearing of a cat, or the gills of a fish as a facial mutation.

    Xenomorph: Very similar to the Menagerie, except instead of looking like a freaky gene spliced chimeric beast, you instead become more and more alien until you look like something out of Lovecraftian horror.

   Shaman: Your spirit animal is given shape through your understanding of magic, and it aids you in ways a physical animal could not.

FIGHTER

    Achilles: You have trained like a Greek hero and have honed the mythic power of the gods. You are stronger and tougher than is normal for your race at the cost of having a weak spot that expands the chances for enemies to land a crit on you.

    Dragon Knight: At level 1, the dragon is a tiny creature that can ride on your shoulder and try to help you in a fight. By level 20, it will be a full-sized mount that you can ride on. As you level up, you can decide where to focus its training, whether you want it to throw its weight around, focus on its breath attack, or make its scales sturdier and more resilient. How you train your dragon will determine the kind of fighting style that works best for you.

MONK

    Mystic: Your enlightenment and understanding of the universe has become so sagely that you have learned to convert your ki into spell slots. Casting with Wisdom, you have learned how to tap into the Wizard’s spell list of 5th level or lower spells.

    Animal Style: Choose an animal’s martial arts style between Tiger, Monkey, Snake, Crane, Mantis, and Dragon. Tigers hit harder and more ferociously, Monkies are more agile and excel in mobility, Snakes strike faster and are more adept at stunning and can cause poison conditions, Cranes have superior balance and can fly short distances, Mantises are better at not getting hit and going unnoticed, and Dragons are better adept to fighting large groups of enemies on their own.

PALADIN

    Fairytale Knight: Able to resist magical damage, magical charms or fears, and being adept at slaying magic-users and dragons makes this the quintessential hero in story-telling. Of course Remove Curse is among their subclass spells.

    Reaper: You have sworn an oath to the laws of death, which are finite and absolute. You roam the land ending the lives of those whose time has come to perish. This subclass is neither intrinsically Good or Evil, as it can be used as a normal part of the natural order, or for carnage and murder.

    Vigilante: Donning a mask and cowl, you bring about justice outside of the law.

RANGER

    Pack Bond: You forge a bond with an animal companion of your choosing. While in the wild, you can attempt to tame other animals of the same kind with your Animal Companion serving as the Pack Leader. Among wild groups of your Animal Companion, you and your traveling companions will be trusted enough to be welcomed in their dens, receive a share of their hunt, and be protected by them from other hostile creatures.

ROGUE

    Viper: An expert in poison and disguises, the Viper is a stealthy killer who uses poison and pragmatic tricks to put their opponents at a disadvantage during a fight. What they lack in sheer power they make up for by having ways of weakening their foes.

    Tomb Raider: You’re an experienced graverobber who has developed a knack for exploring ancient temples. Your past adventures have given you a keen eye when detecting traps, solving puzzles to advance through dungeons, and the ability to set up camp inside a dungeon without being at risk of hostile encounters.

SORCERER

    Infernal: Your power comes from a Fiend ancestor.

    Fey: Your power comes from a Fey ancestor

    Entombed: Your power comes from an Undead ancestor.

    Demigod: Unlike the Divine Soul Sorcerer, you are the literal progeny of an actual deity. Select a Cleric Domain your divine parent belongs to and receive unique features through your divine birthright.

WARLOCK

    Nature: You have made a pact with a powerful force of nature, be they a Nature God, an elemental, or a powerful druid, you are given the ability to harness the forces of nature in return for protecting nature with your life.

    Shadow Society: Rather than getting your power from an extra-dimensional being, your power was granted by a group of mortal castors to use you to do their dirty work. In return for your service, they have given you a portion of their power.

    Artifact: This patron isn’t sentient. Rather, it is simply a powerful magical relic which you use to channel energy from in order to cast your spells. While this subclass comes without the burden of indentured servitude to a usually malevolent being, the artifact can be lost or stolen, and with it, your powers.

WIZARD

    Arcane Lore: When you choose this subclass at 2nd level, select another casting class. Whenever you have the option to learn a Wizard spell, you can select a spell from that class’ spell list. You may only select one spell list to select from and they become Wizard spells for you.

I hope this was fun for you guys. And if any of these suggestions really sound interesting, I might just turn them into proper Homebrew posts. I’ve already covered the Love Domain Cleric, so I’m not opposed to covering others in the future. Which ideas were your favorites, and are there some that you’d love to try and use in a future campaign?

[yandere-lovehotel]

heyo if you have the time, could you write a part 4 for the yandere demon series??

I'm so happy you guys like Marzath so much. This time I decided to finally do the backstory between reader and Marzath, short glimpse of Marzaths initial impression of reader, and the events that cause reader to seek out a demon contract.

Tw pregnancy, and readers morbid thoughts.

Marzath could barely contain his joy as he set about making dinner. You were so close to giving birth. Just another month and the child you and he had created would be born. He had avoided looking at the gender of the child, wanting it to be a surprise.

He wondered what they would look like. Would they take more after him or more after you? Would they have more demonic traits or more human traits? Would they have demon powers at all? It was always a toss up with half breed children but he was excited at the mystery. 

Excited.

There was a word he hadn't used in a long time. A word he had stopped using so long ago. Well, before he met you that is. You brought so many emotions, old and new, into his life. Looking back he couldn't even fathom how he suffered through such boredom before meeting you.

You had summoned him in a storm of emotion. Rage, grief, confusion, doubt, fear. All of those thundering feelings practically radiating off of you, drawing him in like a beacon. But none more so than the sheer resolve. You would see this through, no matter the fear or doubt in your mind.

 

And didn't that make him oh so curious? A creature such as a human exuding such raw emotions was rare indeed. But no matter how curious he was, at his core Marzath was a demon that valued entertainment above all else.

He had refused at first. It hadn't sounded very fun after all. Just hunting down some humans and killing them? Sure maybe some demons would enjoy something as mundane as that but Marzath wanted something more. So he refused to make a contract. But you wouldn't give up. 

Over the course of a year you would repeatedly summon him, asking for a contract. Eventually this curiosity won out over him and while he didn't grant you a contract just yet, he did decide to get to know you. He would hover around you, sometimes you were aware that he was there And sometimes you weren't. But he watched you live your life for another year, even talking to you and spending time with you.

You were a bit hostile for a while, angry that he would watch you while refusing to  make a contract. But eventually you got used to his presence. You didn't stop asking for a contract however.

And...well….it was simply a downward tumble from there. How could he not fall for someone as lovely as you?

Whether you had come willingly or not, he would forever be grateful for the fateful day that allowed him to meet you. 

_________________________________________

You summoning him had been the best(worst) thing to ever happen to him(you)

_________________________________________

You didn't want a baby. Especially not his. You didn't want an abomination that you would have to play mommy to under fear of how Marzath may punish you if you didn't play along with his sick game of house. 

But at this point you just wanted it OUT.

Constantly tired, constantly out of breath, always in and out of the bathroom, can't sleep, can't eat, cramps, false contractions. You were sick of it and wanted it to end.

In the eight months you had been here you had developed something of a pattern. Get up, eat breakfast, watch tv, maybe read a book or two, eat lunch, watch more tv, play a game or two, eat dinner, more tv, shower, go to bed. Boring, mundane, and repetitive but it kept you sane. The recent addition of Marzath to this routine threw a wrench in your carefully cultivated patterns but you adapted.

Now you couldn't even bring yourself to get out of bed. Your body sore and mind fried, just waiting for the damnable pregnancy to be over.

You felt like you were slowly losing it, trapped on this bed with no motivation to get. The boredom was killing you but you couldn't muster up the energy to move from your spot. Just the idea of getting up and moving around right now made your eyes start drooping.

In your more somber moments you would think that the thing residing in your womb was a parasite, sapping all of your life force and would leave you a motionless husk once it was done draining you. It was a dark, morbid thought that did nothing to make you feel any better. 

As you lay still on the bed, limbs heavy and limp, you thought back to the day this all started. The day it all went to shit. The day you meet him.

Everything you had felt that day, the pain, sorrow, the grief induced rage, all felt so…. trivial. Now, with the knowledge of what you had traded away for a pact with a demon, you wondered if it was worth it. If a shot at revenge was worth giving up everything for, if it was worth this.

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It had been just the three of you. You, your father, and your little sibling. Your mother had run out some odd years ago. You didn't know why and you didn't ask. Good riddance, as far as you were concerned. The woman had never shown any interest in being a mother.

Your father did his best to raise the two of you on his own while working. You were pretty self sufficient by the time she left so you helped where you could. It was difficult but you made do

You were content to simply forget about the woman you had once called a mother. To pretend she didn't exist and go on with life. If she could so easily run out on her family then you could easily pretend she never existed.

But she had apparently not forgotten that her family existed. Well, when it was to save her own ass at least.

Jonathan Shorn was a vicious loan shark with little to no penchant for debtors being tardy. Failing to pay him back was the quickest way to land yourself in the hospital, or worse. So when she had borrowed too much she was quick to point the finger at the family she left behind, telling him that your father would pay her debts.

Shorn hounded your father for the money but when he couldn't pay up, things took an ugly turn. The only reason you were spared from the bloodbath was because you simply weren't there, over at a friend's house celebrating the start of high school.

You had returned home to the corpse's of the two people you had cherished most in the world, beaten and mutilated. Your screams alerted your neighbors, who then called the police. An investigation was never launched.

You were taken in by your grandparents. They did their best to help you but you wanted revenge. You wanted to know who did that and why. You wanted to make them pay.

You had heard the stories before. The stories of humans summoning demons, making pacts with them to gain their deepest desires. You made a silent vow to yourself, standing at the graves of your family. You would have revenge on those who had hurt you, no matter how long it took and no matter the cost.

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'Well, well, well. Aren't you a strange little human? It's been quite some time since anyone has summoned me.'

[alirhi]

22

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 22/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable. Notes: Due to massive levels of incoherent rage at the thought of what they did in Thor: Ragnarok, I have decided to pull from actual Norse mythology again. Everything after The Avengers has been erased in this fic, anyway, so fuck it. Hel and Fenrir are Loki's children as it always should be.

Loki sighed, head resting on Bucky's chest as he basked in the simple joy of hearing his beloved's heart still beating. "I hope you know that you're not allowed to ever die on me again."

"Technically, I haven't died yet at all."

He frowned, pinching Bucky's side and making him laugh. "I mourned you for nearly fifty years, James, and it almost destroyed me."

"Loki..." It was Bucky's turn to sigh as he pushed the Trickster off of him and they both sat up. "Serum or no serum, I'm still human. Eventually, I'm gonna grow old and die. That's just the way it works."

"I don't want you to." Feeling like a child, tears choking him that he refused to shed and Bucky's hands gripping his, Loki shook his head. "I can't lose you again."

With that sad smile he was so sick of looking at, Bucky squeezed his hands a little tighter. "You lived over a thousand years without me, Doll. You'll be okay. You've got Sigyn-"

"I hardly think that's relevant." Prying his hands loose, he wiped furiously at his eyes. "Especially since, if the oaf can't sway Odin, I'll likely never see her again, either. Or my other children."

It was truly beginning to sink in, just how much Loki had sacrificed in his mad scramble to rescue Bucky, and he could tell from the stricken look on his lover's face that it was hitting him, as well. A grown man – a God– and he'd behaved like a reckless child ever since he'd first discovered his soldier alive. He'd succeeded, at last, but at what cost? If his actions left him forever on the run from Asgard, he would never see his wife and sons again; his one consolation was that at least he had his daughters. Hel ruled her own realm and answered to no one, least of all Odin, and Eira... He would die before letting anyone take Eira away from him.

"Jesus, Loki..." Bucky winced, pulling him closer for a hug. "Nari, Fenrir... I'm sorry, I can't pronounce the snake's name-"

That got a half-hearted laugh out of the Trickster, and he laid his head on Bucky's broad shoulder. "Jormungandr. It's alright, love, I'm impressed you remember any of them."

"I get headaches," he admitted softly, "when I try to push too hard, but it's coming back." Arms tightening around the other man, he murmured, "There's a lot I'd rather never think about again, but I don't want to lose a single memory I have with you."

"Don't force it," Loki cautioned as gently as he could, bringing one hand up to tangle in that beautiful dark hair. "It will come back; a remarkable amount already has. Just be patient."

"...Nari," Bucky whispered, shaking his head. "Fenrir, Sleipnir, Jor...Jormun... Can I just call him Joey? I know that's not how the J is pronounced, but his name does start with a J, technically... Right?"

At that, Loki buried his face in Bucky's shoulder and laughed so hard he couldn't breathe. "I would pay to see the look on Jormungandr's face if he ever actually heard you call him Joey!"

"Loki, I'm being serious!"

"About 'Joey'?" He could hear the grin and the suppressed laughter in his beloved's voice, so he didn't feel bad for being unable to contain his hysterical laughter.

"About your kids." He didn't sound amused anymore. With a firm grip on Loki's shoulders, he pushed him back to look him in the eye, and the atmosphere instantly shifted. Expression pained, Bucky reminded him, "What you lost, for me... If you can't fix this, you'll lose your whole damn family. Did you think I was just reciting their names trying to remember them all for a fucking Christmas card or something? Eira's brothers, her sister, her step-mom... Your whole family, everything you built before we met... My God..."

"Yes." His attempt at a snarky, slightly cheesy retort fell flat even to his own ears, but Loki still tried. Prying one strong hand from his shoulder and cradling it between his own, he told him, "I am your God. As for my children... Sleipnir was already taken from me long ago. I'm not sure he even knows I'm his mother."

"Christ, Doll, that makes the rest of this worse!"

"I haven't 'lost' anything." Freyja, how he wished he believed what he was saying. All that mattered at the moment, though, was that Bucky believed it, and so he soldiered on. "Not yet. Odin is a stubborn old fool, but he is old. Worst case scenario, if I can't return home without ending up in chains while he lives, well... he'll die soon and Thor will take the throne despite my best efforts – I really had a lot on my plate when last the Sergeant and I met – and because he's sentimental and forgiving, I'll be welcomed back with open arms."

"'Home'?"

He blinked, confused. "What?"

For someone with such a remarkably expressive face, Bucky could, on occasion, be difficult to read. With the most curious look that Loki couldn't quite identify, he pointed out quietly, "You still call Asgard 'home.'"

He scoffed and shrugged. "Force of habit, I suppose. Best not to read too much into it, darling."

"Right." There was a brief moment of tense silence, and then Bucky, bless his strange mind, smiled and nudged him. "Look, thanks to the serum, I don't really get sick anymore. So as long as the purple menace doesn't lop my head off, you've still got decades before you have to worry about me croaking on you."

Though he appreciated the effort, Loki couldn't quite bring himself to share his love's optimism. After all, what were decades to a being who would live for millennia? Rather than point that out, though, he focused on the other troubling fact: "James, Thanos is dangerous."

"Why, because he kicked your skinny ass?" he teased. "Or, to be more accurate, his minions kicked your skinny ass. Did Thanos actually do anything? How do you know he wants anything nefarious with these magic doohickeys?"

"Because one man amassing ultimate power has never been for the benefit of others, no matter how they delude themselves for the sake of remaining the heroes in their own stories." Giving him a bland look, Loki grumbled, "One would think a World War II veteran would understand that better than most."

Still clinging desperately to his attempt at humor, Bucky shrugged. "Hey, I'm still holding out hope on the kitten theory. You can't deny the world would be a better place if everyone had their own adorable kitty to spoil."

Finally, finally Loki chuckled, shaking his head. "I'll tell you what, darling... Survive what's coming with sanity intact, and I'll get you a kitten myself."

Bucky snorted. "Oh, baby, the sanity ship has sailed. Are you kidding me?"

"The best you can manage, then," he amended with a soft, sad smile. "Just stay close to me, so I can keep you safe."

Watching the other man's expression crumble and all the humor immediately vanish as if it was never there at all, Loki wished he'd never spoken a word.

"No," Bucky told him quietly, but firmly. "I'm sick of constantly being rescued and protected."

"It's not that I think you're weak-"

"Do you remember what I told you when you wanted to stay and fight just so we could be together?"

He did, though he failed to see its relevance. Still, to prove to Bucky that he was paying attention, he dutifully recited his own words back to him. "'You're outside of all this and that's where I need you to stay.' But neither of us is 'outside' of this one-" He was interrupted by his lover snorting and rolling his eyes. "What?"

"Not that part." Shifting position slightly so that he and Loki were facing each other directly without either having to twist, he took the Trickster's soft hands in his own - one rough and callused, the other chilly and unyielding - and reminded him, "'You make me weak. If I see you out there, you'll get me killed.' Well, babe, this time neither of us gets to walk away, so we both need to be focused on the enemy, not each other. Don't waste energy trying to protect me. Having to protect Eira got you both captured. When the war comes, just fight it, and trust that I can look out for myself."

That was a terrifying proposition. Enhanced by mad science or not, Bucky was still only human. The thought of him standing alone and fighting Thanos or one of his psychotic minions with no powers was enough to make Loki sick to his stomach. Perhaps it would be best to leave Bucky in New Mexico with Darcy and Eira; after all, run-of-the-mill human dangers didn't simply vanish because a bigger threat loomed. They would need someone to look after them, as well, and Bucky could certainly handle some random thug looking to cause trouble.

He opened his mouth to suggest it, but his thoughts must have been showing on his face. A metal hand clamped over his mouth before he could utter a sound and Bucky snapped, "You're not sidelining me. Purple Space Hitler calls for all hands on deck, so deal with it."

With a sigh, Loki batted his hand away and shook his head. "You really are the most stubborn creature, James."

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