#arguing with Will about spending time with El is so different when you actually look at that if hes gay.

[stranger-theory]

"i feel so bad for Will :(( he loves Mike sm but he deserves someone better-"

SHUT UUUUUUP. if Mike's dealing with being queer, why do you expect him to handle that calmly. like i genuinely DO NOT understand how its so hard for people to grasp that Mike is dealing with as much trauma as the rest of the gang. "okay but if thats true then why isn't it ever shown" buddy thats the same as asking why the Upside Down being stuck in 1983 hasn't been revealed yet.

it's necessary that mikes issues are held back from being public knowledge because they're critical to the storytelling of the character.

we see the outside view because we're supposed to be satisfied when his character finally makes sense as his story concludes. we're supposed to look back at all those times where Mike did something upsetting and say "ohh, he was stressed because he never let himself feel".

Mike being gay flips the tables entirely when it comes to reasoning behind his actions.

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 13

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):

the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”

the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”

palestine will be free

“Where the fuck even are you?” 

“Not home.” 

“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.” 

“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.” 

“Stop procrastinating, asshole.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime. 

Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready. 

Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night. 

Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene. 

When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours. 

Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening. 

“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.” 

“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath. 

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.” 

Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand. 

“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back. 

Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs. 

“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl. 

“Wassup, Chang.” 

“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.” 

“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.” 

“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.” 

“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.” 

“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese. 

Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets. 

“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina. 

Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time. 

Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject. 

“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!” 

Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise. 

“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—” 

“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury. 

“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina. 

“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes. 

“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen. 

Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent. 

“Is she breathing?” 

“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores. 

“What did she eat?” He asks Abby. 

“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table. 

Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation. 

“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions. 

The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face. 

“Did she have any?” He asks. 

While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina. 

“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?” 

“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.” 

“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you think Anderson ordered any?” 

“El, how am I supposed to know that?” 

“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?” 

Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds. 

“I-I don’t know...” 

“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.” 

“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—” 

Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint. 

“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second. 

“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!” 

Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him. 

“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!” 

Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic. 

“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?” 

“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen. 

“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!” 

Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse. 

Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face. 

“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”

“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!” 

Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself. 

She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace. 

Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment. 

Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time. 

She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster. 

Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints. 

She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache. 

She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger. 

She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips. 

She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world. 

Maybe even still. 

Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.

While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed. 

She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room. 

Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears. 

“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side. 

“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend. 

They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder. 

“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles. 

“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.” 

She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing. 

“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.” 

Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this. 

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.” 

“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity. 

“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.” 

“Oh, Ellie…” 

Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment. 

“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word. 

“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.” 

“Thank you, D, seriously.” 

Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment. 

“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement. 

Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable. 

“Come on. Let’s go see her.” 

You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 

“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously. 

“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.” 

“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out. 

“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” 

“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.” 

“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says. 

Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy. 

“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.” 

“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.” 

“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.” 

She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room. 

Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up. 

“Are you okay, El?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” 

“I’m fine, Jess.” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” 

Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning. 

“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.” 

“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly. 

“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.” 

Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues. 

“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.” 

Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists. 

“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?” 

“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—” 

“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.” 

“Look—” 

“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.” 

“You don’t understa—” 

“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.” 

“I… I—” 

“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.” 

“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes. 

“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.” 

Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall. 

“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.” 

Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room. 

“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.” 

“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.” 

“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.” 

“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly. 

Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face. 

“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks. 

“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified. 

“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects. 

“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons. 

“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.” 

“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says. 

“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—” 

“Ellie!” Dina scolds. 

“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs. 

“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?” 

“What about her?” Ellie asks. 

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?” 

“So?” 

“Ellie.” 

Ellie clicks her tongue. 

“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room. 

Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod. 

Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones. 

“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.” 

Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word. 

Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson. 

Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed. 

Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents. 

At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal. 

Barbie Bear. 

She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration. 

After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly. 

Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting. 

Dear Ellie, 

It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands. 

I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know. 

Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork. 

Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day. 

Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name. 

She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago. 

Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more. 

Earlier That Evening 

Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift. 

But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour. 

It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear. 

Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks. 

Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye. 

“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out. 

“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke. 

Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie. 

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.” 

“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. 

“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly. 

There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together. 

“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.” 

“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.” 

“Oh, right.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly. 

“What?” 

“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.” 

“Oh, uh…” 

“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.” 

“Oh. What did she say exactly?” 

“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.” 

“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again. 

“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.” 

“Whatever.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Well?” Daniela asked. 

“It’s kind of complicated.” 

“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.” 

“Look, Daniela—” 

“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.” 

“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.” 

“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.” 

“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.” 

“So you said.” 

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.” 

“Hey, what the fuck—” 

“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.” 

“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!” 

Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more. 

“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.” 

“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.” 

“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.” 

She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door. 

“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.” 

And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face. 

Present 

Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat. 

She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you. 

First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months. 

Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification. 

The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz. 

As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.

Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night. 

A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath. 

Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else. 

After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela. 

Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision. 

Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at. 

To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.

Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend. 

Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along. 

But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you. 

Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience. 

Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word. 

Joel. 

She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call. 

Joel picks up after only two rings. 

“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?” 

“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles. 

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent. 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.” 

Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed. 

“What’s wrong, Ellie?” 

“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…” 

With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks. 

“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.” 

“Yeah…” 

“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.” 

Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips. 

“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?” 

“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.” 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.” 

“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.” 

There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again. 

“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?” 

Last August: Jackson 

Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule. 

Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway. 

“Knock, knock.” 

“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.” 

“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?” 

“You, dude.” 

The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts. 

“Need any help packin’ up?” 

“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.” 

“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?” 

“Like I said: essentials.” 

Joel chuckled. 

“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.” 

“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.” 

“Good.” 

Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned. 

“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?” 

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up. 

“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.” 

“So you do go through my shit when I am here?” 

“Ellie.” 

“What?” 

“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.” 

Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms. 

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.” 

“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.” 

“She ditched me.” 

“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.” 

“What do you want from me, old man?” 

“I want you to be happy, kiddo.” 

“What makes you think I’m not happy?” 

“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.” 

“We weren’t together.” 

“Yes, you were.” 

Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing. 

“You still have the box, Ellie.” 

“I just forgot I even had it.” 

“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?” 

“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.” 

“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.” 

“Sorry, dude.” 

“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.” 

Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this. 

“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.” 

Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green. 

“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”

Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly. 

“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.” 

“That so? How do you figure that?” 

“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.” 

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?” 

Present Day 

“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.” 

“I know, baby girl.” 

Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line. 

“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs. 

“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?” 

“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.” 

“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.” 

“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.” 

“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.” 

“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!” 

“What don’t I understand?” 

“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams. 

A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing. 

“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…” 

Ellie chokes back a sob. 

“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—” 

“Ellie.” 

“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.” 

“It’s not that simple, kid.” 

“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.” 

The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead. 

“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.” 

Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now. 

“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.” 

Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking. 

“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.” 

Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak. 

“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.” 

“All I did was—” 

“All you did was save her life.” 

Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond. 

“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.” 

The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs. 

author’s notes:

belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???

saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎

i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)

the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO

anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl

the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe

i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one

yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.

btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO

the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL

i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway

yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away

ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao

the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)

i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)

ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else

the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.

we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn, @uraesthete

softbunlvr, @amitycat, @thefishymissy, @yevheniiaaaa, @machetegirl109, @bertandfearnie, @ximtiredx, @efam, elliesnumber1gf, @digit4lslut, tayyyystan, @emothurman, livvy-2000, abigaillovestoread, @gold-dustwomxn

@liabadoobee, @yuckyfucky, @qtefolleunpez, @libr4sonsa, @robinismywifee, villainousbear, scarlettadore, @vianna99, @g0n3girls, @totheblood, @embermdk, @awyunh

@kenz-ee, @marvelwomen-simp, @eleactric, @simpforellie, @jade-posts-sometimes, anxiouso, @nyrastar, @lillysbigwilly, @hopeless-y, @elliesbabygirl, @alexpritch

@thestarsanctuary, @aethelwyneleigh27, cass00x, @mulan-but-gay, @carmellie, @destielcore, tfuuka, @ellielover69, @ewwitsbella,

igoferalforelliewilliams, kissesforells, asteroidzzzn, 97cityy, joliettes, p1llowthoughtss, aouiaa, lez-zuha, ineffablefics, peepshake, lil-elliesgf, wex--12, ccinnamongrl, siriusblackrunmeover17, whenlostinthedarkness, feelsoseencantdream, bellasfavepansexual, mina-281, harrysslutsstuff, lil-elliesgf, p4ison1vy, eurewili, miksde

please note that i am no longer accepting requests to be added to the taglist, so if you would like to be notified when a new chapter comes out, please follow @belleloves and turn notifications on!

[crappymixtape]

endless summer

steve’s pool is always full during the indiana summers and he loves his friends, but he just wants you • *18+ only | (  2.8k, smut, fluff, friends to lovers, steve x you, steve x reader  )

E N D L E S S S U M M E R 🎶 i would die 4 u, art school girlfriend

“Hey, hey. None of that shit in my pool!” Steve was standing on the deck with a hand on his hip, arm waving about as he yelled at Dustin and Lucas who were dragging a half-empty pizza box closer to the edge of the pool.

“We’re hungry!” Dustin protested indignantly.

“Yeah, so hungry,” Lucas added, still dragging along the pizza box slowly as if Steve wouldn’t catch him.

“No, no, no. Get that outta here,” Steve was already around the other side of the pool and snatching the box away from Lucas’ grabby hands, tossing it up onto the patio table. “Children,” he shook his head at both younger boys.

Whatever, was mumbled back to Steve followed by a couple of hidden middle fingers, but the heat was enough to stall any real arguing and before long everyone slipped back into the cool water, lazily floating in the hot Indiana summer.

No one knew what day of the week it was, you only knew when you had to work next – not today – and time didn’t matter. All anyone wanted to do was spend time with each other, normal time, not running-away-from-flesh-eating-bats-time, and it felt perfect. You wished you could stay like this forever.

Stretched out on a lounger, you were the picture of summer wearing a tangerine bikini, a stolen pair of Steve’s aviators, and camped out next to a cooler full of beer and Coke. Whenever you felt your skin protesting against the sun you’d jump into the pool to cool off, but hurried right back to your chair after.

Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will had spent most of the day trying to shove Max and El in the water, but were thwarted almost every time. I mean, c’mon, it’s El. Like she could’t sense it? Robin and Eddie found their little patch of shade under the only tree in the backyard and passed a joint back and forth until their eyes were glassy and heavy, lips permanently curved into lazy smiles. And Steve? Well. What Steve wanted to be doing and what he was actually doing were two very different things.

He couldn’t help his lifeguard instincts around the pool, sniping at the kids over all kinds of shit – out of love, obviously – but every single time he turned away it was to look at you.

You. Wearing his sunglasses. Your tangerine bikini hugging your curves just right, not leaving much to the imagination. The scent of your coconut sunscreen and citrus shampoo mixed with chlorine and Cherry Coke teasing him every time he walked by, it was almost painful.

Then, finally, the others hauled themselves out of the pool, tired from the heat and shoving each around and playing chicken and summer. You grinned watching as Mike and Lucas both sleepily settled their heads into El’s and Max’s laps atop their towels. Dustin and Will were off talking about Suzie and their next D&D campaign. And Robin and Eddie…well. They were there, but not there, and Steve had picked up the pool net to scoop out the few stray bits of crap the others had dragged into the water.

God. It was like he existed for summer. Like he was made for it. His skin all golden, kissed by the sun and dotted in freckles. Hair, just a touch lighter than it was in the winter, hanging across his dewy forehead. The muscles in his arms tensing and relaxing as he pushed and pulled the pool net through the water. Turquoise swim shorts dripping water, plip plip plip on the patio, clinging to his legs. Sunglasses perched on his head so that he couldn’t hide it if he snuck glances of you over there wearing his aviators.

You could feel his gaze wander up your long legs, your thighs, the soft curve of your hips, that damn tangerine top. And when you lifted a hand to take off your glasses, the grin you gave him was almost cruel. “Looking for something, Harrington?” you called across the patio.

Despite his tanned skin, the flush that rose in his cheeks could be seen from where you were sitting. “What?” fell out of his mouth, dumb in the summer sun, and he propped himself up against the pool skimmer, clearly caught. But then he recovered, just so very Steve. “Just admiring the view,” he gave you a grin of his own and it was your turn to blush.

Biting in your lower lip you put his aviators aside and smirked. “Nice day, hm?” you snarked, swinging your legs over the side of the lounger to stand.

“Oh, definitely a heat advisory in effect,” Steve teased back, discarding the skimmer on the patio at his feet, finally unable to keep himself away from you any longer.

Walking with a purpose he closed the gap between the two of you and took your face in his hands and pressed a heady kiss to your mouth, catching your lower lip between his. You tasted like popsicles and Cherry Coke.

“What was that for?” you murmured against his lips, his hands still holding onto your cheeks as your hands wandered up to rest on his chest.

“For not eating pizza in the pool,” he grinned against you as he went in for another kiss and then leaned in close, his lips to your ear, “I forgot something inside.”

It was so hot, the sun beating down on both of you, but you shivered at his words as goosebumps trailed along your neck. Laughing you tilted your head so that you could meet his gaze and when your eyes met your grin softened and fell. Steve’s eyes. Deep pools of caramel swimming with tiny flecks of hazel and gold. Long brown lashes sweeping his cheeks. Steve. He only had eyes for you.

“I’ll come with you,” your voice was barely above a whisper as you felt a heat rising in your core that had absolutely nothing to do with the hot Indiana sun, and without hesitation his hand was tangling with yours, pulling you through the slider door and up the stairs.

Steve kicked the door shut as you both tumbled into his room and he caught your lips in another kiss before pressing more down your jaw, your neck, to the little hollow behind your ear.

It was hot, the air in his room upstairs was warm and thick and his hands were everywhere all at once. Wandering across the small of your back, trailing the length of your arms, tugging your hips into his. It all made you dizzy, but you kept up.

Wrapping your hands around the back of his neck, you spun him around and pushed him down onto his bed. His eyes went wide for a split second, surprised at the show of confidence, but he came back down from it and grinned up at you. “So damn pretty,” he murmured and you knew he meant it.

“I could say the same to you,” you purred before diving down against him, your bodies finally pressing together, skin meeting skin around your bikini and his trunks. It felt electric. You’d both wanted nothing more after watching each other in the heat, dripping with the glittering turquoise of the pool, longing to look, to touch, to feel.

A groan escaped him as you trailed kisses along his shoulder and up against his stubbled jaw before settling your mouth on his, lightly pulling on his lower lip.

“Been wanting to do this all day,” he mumbled, fingers fumbling with the tie of your top, cinched snug against your body. As it came undone it fell down onto his chest and he stopped short, hands holding onto your waist for dear life. He looked at you like you were the only thing that existed in that moment. You were the only thing that existed in that moment. “Damn,” it was almost reverent, in awe of you. Every curve, every dip, the very softness of you.

Giving him a small smile you leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear, and simply whispered his name. Pulling back the look you gave him shattered any kind of control he’d been grasping onto and he loosed a heavy breath.

In one fell swoop Steve lifted you off of him easily, tossing you down on the bed before bringing his needy mouth to your sun kissed skin again, body meeting yours. You could feel him against you, could feel much he wanted you, and the heat pooling between your legs told you you wanted him just as much.

Steve bit your shoulder gently and he smirked when you sucked in a gasp. “Shit,” you hissed, half laughing half moaning at the kisses he started trailing down your chest and along the soft curve of your breasts.

His face moved down your body, mouth touching every bit of you he could, and then he paused and flicked his eyes up to look at you. “What?” his tongue ran along his lower lip as he grinned, knowing full well what he was doing to you.

Brow furrowing you propped yourself up on your elbows and opened your mouth to reply, but it promptly clamped shut when he slipped his mouth over your nipple, eliciting another moan from your lips. Your head fell back against the sheets as your hands moved to tangle in his hair. “Want you,” was all you could manage, your lips parted as your breath hitched in your throat.

“I know,” Steve’s voice was low, rough, and the grin he’d given you was long gone, pupils blown wide – fuck, he wanted you too. He pushed himself up for only as long as it took to yank his trunks off, his fingers deftly untying your bikini bottoms before tugging them out from under your ass and throwing them unceremoniously to the floor.

Standing at the edge of the bed he stopped and took in the vision you were, all soft curves and tan lines and freckles. Coconut sunscreen and cherry red lips. He leaned forward and ran his hands up your calves, hooking his palms behind your knees, and pulled you to the edge of the bed as he knelt down. Steve couldn’t take his eyes away from yours even as his hands moved to spread your legs apart, thumbs pressing into your thighs.

His fingers swept inward, slipping against the slick between your legs and you saw his eyes flutter closed for a second as he touched you, felt you, jaw clenching as he groaned, “So wet baby, is that for me?”

“Mhmm,” your mumbled yes was tangled up with another moan as he slipped first one finger then two inside of you, his thumb taking up a slow, languid pace as it traced circles over your clit. Steve was so good to you. Took care of you. You came first, always.

He easily found a rhythm as his fingers slipped in and out, in and out, in and out. It was wrecking you and as he picked up the pace your whimpers grew to moans despite biting down on your bottom lip. “You’re so good, baby,” he pressed kisses to your inner thigh, “Want you to come for me.”

Your heart was fluttering in your chest, like a hummingbird caught in your ribcage, frantic and seeking release. One hand still tangled in his hair, the other desperately clinging onto a fistful of sheets as you felt yourself racing closer to the edge. He made you feel so good, his fingers were so good, but he was too far away. You wanted him on you, crushing into you, fucking you.

“Steve,” breathless you begged, “Need you.” And he slowed, knowing exactly what you wanted. What you needed.

“Yeah, okay baby,” he reassured you, climbing over the top of you as he fumbled in his nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom, tearing the foil between his teeth and thumb. Kneeling with a leg on either side of your hips he slid it over his length, pumping his hand up and down a few times before fitting himself between your legs. You were so wet, sweet like honey, and his heart was pounding in his chest when he looked up into your eyes.

He slowly eased himself into you, feeling how tight you were on him, and he let out a groan. “Jesus Christ,” his eyes squeezed shut as he bottomed out, you felt so fucking good, but he quickly opened them again to look down at you. “Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you felt your body slowly relax as you adjusted to the way he filled you, letting out a sigh, the most perfect melody to his ears, “M’okay.”

ALifting a hand to gently brush your hair away from your dewy forehead he took you in. “So pretty,” he whispered, "So damn beautiful." And then started rocking into you, your hips rising to meet him with each thrust. Slow at first, his forehead falling down to meet yours, one hand holding him over you as the other tangled your fingers with his.

“Oh shit,” Steve hissed as he picked up the pace, both of you panting with the effort as you pushed each other closer and closer to your breaking point. You looked up at him as he fucked into you, his pretty lips parted as he sucked in breaths, moving faster and faster chasing his high.

Letting your hand go he moved his fingers back down to your clit and moved them in slick, heavy circles and the moan you loosed then almost shattered him. “Oh–oh god, Steve, I’m gon-gonna come,” you were gasping for air, as the movements of his fingers grew messy and faster, wanting you to find release before he did, your name leaving his lips over and over like a prayer. And then something in you snapped and your hips bucked heavy against his, your hand flying up to hold onto his bicep like a lifeline as each wave of your climax washed over you.

“Fuck, me too, so close,” Steve’s face almost looked pained as his movements grew hurried and uneven, and then finally his rhythm broke too and his lips parted as his breath hitched in his throat. He finished fast as you clenched around him, guiding him up and over the edge and slowly he rocked his hips to a stand still, both of you messy and sweaty and wrecked.

Letting his head fall forward Steve buried his face in you, pressing light kisses to your collarbone, the crook of your neck, your cheek. He smirked, exhaustion creeping over both of you, and brought his lips to yours, “It’s that damn bikini.”

Laughing you slowly moved to cup his face in your hands and shook your head. “Mental note to wear it more often,” your own little grin tugged up at the corners of you lips as you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Steve laughed, but it was cut short as he eased out of you and collapsed onto the bed next to you, the fan on the ceiling pushing the warm, thick, summer air around his room. Resting your head on his chest as he settled, you listened to his heartbeat thud, thud, thud against your ear, your breathing slowly evening out along with his.

He ran his fingers through your hair idly, humming low and content, and kissed the top of your head. “So–” he started, voice tired and gravely, but happy, “I…I wanted to tell you that…uh, what I mean is…shit.”

“What is it?” propping yourself up against his chest you looked at him, concern knitting your brow together.

He caught the worry in your eyes and quickly shook his head, his hand finding yours and turning it over to press a kiss to your palm. “No, no nothing bad!” he reassured you quickly, his cheeks flushing pink. “I just,” he sighed, an uncharacteristically nervous laugh escaping him, “I just wanted to tell you I love yo–”

“Steve!”

“It wasn’t my fault–”

“Mike told me to–”

“I did not!”

Voices carried up through the open window cutting Steve off and he jammed his tongue into his cheek. Someone was gonna get it.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?” irritation gave Steve a second wind and he crossed the room so fast you couldn’t help laughing as you watched his bare ass stop at the window sill. “I’m a little busy here!” he yelled down at the boys, but then you saw his expression change. “Wait, who the hell got pizza in the pool??”

Quiet. Then a barrage of voices.

“Dustin was hungry–”

“I told him it wasn’t allowed, Steve–”

“You know how he is!”

“They’re all lying, Steve!”

Putting both hands over his face he groaned, loud and exaggerated, before letting them drop to his sides. He thought for a moment, then decided he didn’t care and threw his hands up in defeat.

“You know what? You figure it out,” he shouted back down at them and then pulled the sheer curtains shut before coming back to bed.

Laughing he tossed the sheet over both of you, pulling you in close, smiling against your skin, his hands holding you soft and gentle and then he finally whispered against your ear what it was he was trying to tell you all that time.

I love you.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist

[thighzp]

Getting ready for the pool

☀️🍉🍓🧃

Inspired by @na-dineee’s comment: “getting ready to go to the pool on a hot summers day”

Shared for several sentence Sunday 07/28/24 full story below the cut!

“Daddyyyyyyy!” Henry hears from upstairs, the tiny voice sounding far away and muffled.

He could tell immediately that his daughter was in no danger and that nothing was wrong. This was merely her whiny voice when she needed something. He took the stairs two at a time nevertheless.

Standing on her tippiest tippy toes in her closet, Ellie was reaching for the top shelf. “I can’t reach it!” Her voice strained as she craned her neck up to try to get more height.

“What are you reaching for, my love?” Henry asked and hoisted her up to his eye level.

“My favorite swimsuit!” She cheered when her grabby hands finally reached the fabric.

“Oh, of course! The watermelon one is my favorite too, you know that,” he winked and kissed her on the forehead. “Why did you call me though, darling? Papa is right in the next room?”

Ellie looked over her shoulder before leaning in to whisper in Henry’s ear. “You’re taller than papa.”

The two giggled as Henry put his daughter down and began to get her changed into her bathing suit.

“What are you two conspiracizing about in here, hm?” Alex appeared in the doorway of their daughter’s room. He was already dressed in his (sinfully tight and sinfully short) swimming trunks, sunglasses pushing back his unruly curls.

“Nothing, dear,” Henry assured him. “Would you mind getting El’s sunscreen on while I finish packing our picnic lunch?”

Just then, the five year old whined as she pulled both straps of her watermelon-patterned one piece over her shoulders. “I don’t wanna wear sunscreen daddy! It’s so sticky!”

That, Henry could completely understand. Their daughter had 100% inherited her textural sensitivities from him.

“She hardly needs it anyway, Hen.” Alex added. His darker complexion was another thing she had inherited.

“Enough out of the both of you,” Henry not-so-intimidatingly pointed at the two of them. Alex and his mini-me.

Alex scooped up their daughter and toted her off to the bathroom to apply the sunscreen, and Henry traipsed back downstairs to continue packing their lunch.

PB&J’s, cut up strawberries, carrots & hummus, and a juice box for Ellie were today’s menu selection. He may not have the best record with cooking, but cold lunches he could manage. Since he worked from home, he was always the one who spent the morning packing lunches and sending his two kids (the big one and the little one) off about their days, Alex in his suit and Ellie in some form of frilly dress or another.

Summer looked different in their brownstone. While Alex still left the house in a suit a few mornings out of the week, he also managed to take more time off so that he and Henry could both spend time taking Ellie out as a family.

Even if their pool days consisted of much more time spent actually getting ready, making food, arguing over sunscreen, and loading up the car than actual time spent swimming, Henry wouldn’t trade it for the world.

He heard his gigantic kid and their tiny one giggling their way down the steps, and saw Alex’s sunglasses now tangled atop Ellie’s own untamed curls. Henry handed a carrot to David as a treat, and smiled to himself.

He couldn’t believe this was all finally his. His own family who he could love properly, fully, and watch grow.

He hadn’t yet told Alex, but it was about to be growing even more.

☀️🍉🍓🧃

If you enjoyed, please feel free to suggest more cute girldad moments I can write about!

[theyaregayyourhonor]

Gates, portals, birth and rebirth

Aka: Yes, Will and El are twins from birth (also I'm pretty sure Vecna cherry-picked our cast from different timelines)

Ever since I saw El's vision of her birth I've been having trouble with it and I couldn't figure it out for the life of me until I saw this image again:

I have to be a bit vulgar but my first thought was that it looked a whole lot like a vagina. Which made me think about how we have in the first and second season three people enter and exit the UD and the whole thing about birth/rebirth

So I was bugged by this idea until it started to fall into place.

So firstly I have to establish something

Portals: they are opened from the UD by Demogorgons and they are closing up just fine, not leving behind cracks =natural birth

Gates: they are opened from the RSU by humans and if they close up they leave behind cracks but if they don't they can spread and fester =c section

That's when I stopped because if I'm correct than El's rebirth or escape from the UD is fishy.

According to everything we know she was born with an emergency c section do to complications around her birth, so why did she exit the UD through a portal and not a gate? You can argue that than portals are equalling c sections, but portals are created from inside of the UD or womb, by something that is part of it. Portals are natural, gates aren't.

If gates were natural they wouldn't leave behind cracks or scarring, but they do and they are created by an outside force instead an inside.

But I have more proof.

Nancy Wheeler

I know this one come out of nowhere but we actually see our first birth/rebirth thanks to our girl. In her case it's more metaphorical and it's ends when she is back in the RSU and I also believe that is it here more, to show how a natural birth/rebirth should look like in contrast with the other two.

So Nancy Wheeler decided to climb into the tree portal left by a demogorgon, she wanders in, spends a little time there than she sees the demogorgon, she is the first one to move, she indicates the escape as she is frightened by the beast, that's when the demogorgon sees her and starts chasing her until she gets to the portal, she yells for Jonathan who is waiting for her on the other side and helps her out of the UD into the RSU and the portal closes.

If we traslate it into the birth/rebirth metaphor.

We have Karen and Ted Wheeler deciding to have a kid (Nancy willingly went inside) the baby spends nine month in the womb (Nancy spends the amount of time that she is not stuck here, but still sees the place and the demogorgon) than the water breaks (Nancy starts to leave) and the mother's body helps her (demogorgon start to chase her) the baby is born with the help of others and there are people waiting for her arrival (Jonathan)

Also real birth is fucking traumatazing so good job on that one too Duffers

Now like I said with Nancy its more metaphorical, like she saw hell and that made her change as a person.

But that's just makes El's whole ordeal more confusing. First El is draggeg into the UD by a Demogorgon that she demateralized with her powers.

Than in s2 we have El calling out to Mike as she wanders the UD, but there is no Demogorgon (aka help from the mothers body) as she tries to get out, but in the end she escapes through a portal, like Nancy.

I'm going to circle back in a minute

William Byers

So in season one we have Will being kidnapped, that is the first episode and the whole catalysts of the show. Now like with El, Will is dragged into the UD involuntary by a demogorgon, he spends most of the first season there and in the end he is saved by Hopper and Joyce who are bringing him out through the gate in the laboratory.

So we have two kids, whom are in the first season established to be look alikes, so much so that they could've be confused to one an other. They are both dragged into the UD by a demogorgon and they are trapped there, El enters the place on her own through a portal but Will is stuck and has to be carried out through a gate.

Demogorgons

Something that I've been stuck on is the whole thing about El and Will being dragged into the womb by something that is from the womb and I might be crazy but I think Will and El are tube babies.

In that case we would have a mother and a father desparate for a baby but it's just not coming together. That's when they hear about a doctor who could help. Doctor Brenner takes from the mother and father and the zygotes are made than they are put in the womb of the mother in hope that at least one stuck. They got lucky there is two zygotes that now growing and it all seems fine.

But they don't know something.

The demogorgons are under Vecna's control that he achived with the MF, demogorgons are our zygotes and they are infected with 001 powers (not DNA, Brenner has been trying to recreate him for a time now so he does a science thing that ends with artificial powers or something like that) via Brenner.

El openes the Mothergate which is the reason why Vecna can reach Will, the Demogorgon can open portals thanks to the gate being open and the Demo going through it.

Now El we know after being in the UD comes out premature, she was supposed to stay as the UD wasn't reacting to her escape, the body of the mother wasn't helping with the birth, El still struggles out in the natural way.

On the other hand Will is stuck in the UD, he can't born in the natural way, that's when the emergency c section is in motion, El coming prematurely (probably thanks to Brenner messing with the pregnancy and the zygotes) coused problemes with the other baby, Will. That's when the s section happened.

El opening up the mothergate=El borns early

Will stuck in the UD thanks El opening the mothergate=emergency c section because of the complications

Both times the person responsible is Brenner. Brenner is the one manipulating the pregnancy and the one making El going into the in between place.

Enter season 2

First I thought that I was crazy, than I remembered what happens next season with the characters.

So Will is in the hospital for a while, than he is brought home by his mother who is fussing over him and being protective and she is so scared for him and for good reason. Will is not fully okay, the whole ordeal left it's mark on him. He is sick, can't sleep well and he just can't seem to get any better.

In season 2 he still has the connection to the UD and he also gets possessed by the MF, which is what happened to him. Having Vecna's power and Brenner manipulating the pregnancy and the birth left their effects on him and his life.

While El after birth ends up in the hands of a random man, she doesn't know, who locks her up, has a bunch of rules she has to follow and becomes her Papa/father. Of course Hop is not Brenner, but still there are the parallels and that is what happened to El. After she was born, she was kidnapped by Brenner who locked her up, abused her and get her to call her Papa.

The big difference is that Hopper is acting that way because he already lost a daughter, he doesn't want to loose El, and it is dangerous for her outside. But he grows and learns and fails and apologies for his mistakes, he actually becames her father. I'm mean he is her father so I hoped he would grew into his role.

Vecna is cherry-picking

There is this gate called Twelvegate, according to that Will is twelve and the twin brother of El, and I saw it plausible especially with how I think Stranger Things is really built up.

I think Hopper and El from the same timeline, which follows.

Hopper and Joyce are married, they are struggling to have kids so they end up getting the help of a doctor, Brenner, he manipulates the pregnancy and the birth, El is born premature but strong, Will is stuck. Hopper demands the doctors to help Will, in the mean time El disappears (she is taken away by commands of Brenner by a nurse maybe Terry?). Brenner does the emergency c section, Will comes out dead so they have to revive him, something that they claim didn't work.

Hopper lost both El and Will, Joyce and him and up breaking up, meanwhile Will and El are raised in the laboratory as Eleven and Twelve.

Vecna picks out this Hopper and El, putting them in his little game he created with time travel and stolen powers. He messes with Hops memories thus Sara is created. She is the fuson of El and Will. A little girl who died in cancer, she wasn't breathing and they couldn't bring her back. Sara is Will and El on that fucked up day he lost two child at once.

El is from this timeline too, she and Will were trapped by Brenner but unlike Will she survived the massacre in 1979. That is why El recognises Will in season 1, because she knows him, they grew up together.

I also think that season 1 El and season 2 El are not the same person, that's why we never learn how she knew Will. Either that or when she was in UD Vecna started messing with her memories and Will and Twelve became two separate person.

I'm also trying to figure out if Jonathan would be from a timeline where Joyce and Lonnie get together and he is their son, or if he is from a reality where Hopper and Joyce got lucky. Like Jonathan literally being a miracle to them.

I'm also curious if you think the whole this is a patched together timeline from others thing true (or just like to entertain the idea) what do you think, who is from what timeline?

[stevieboyscoffee]

WIP

“It is what it is,” Steve sighed, looking at the rejection letters from the different colleges he had applied to. It was his second time, after Robin had encouraged him to try again. He wasn’t surprised; Steve had learned to just accept the bad things that came his way. It was easier. It made it easier to accept the lectures from his father’s disapproval about his life choices. It made it easier to accept when Nancy didn’t love him. Made it easier to accept that he was just bullshit. Robin looked between him and the papers, up at his face with a worried brow, and back down to the papers. It felt like she was trying to will them to change into acceptance letters with just her stare.

“You’re not upset? I thought you wanted to go to college with me..” she sighed, her eyes finally softening with disappointment. She looked back up at him, setting on staring at his chest. She couldn’t meet his eyes. Robin had tried so hard to work with him on his applications. It looked like he was trying too, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe he wanted to work with his dad’s firm, and this was his way of letting her down easy.

Steve struggled to meet her eyes, “I did. I really did, Robs..” He hated how easy it was for everyone to go back to thinking so little of him. They thought the worst of him at the slightest inconvenience, after he gave himself up to help them save the world. Even Robin, who was his best friend, his platonic soulmate, would take any slightly “undermining” response and take it as bitchy disinterest. It was just another remind of how little he fit in with the rest of his found family.

Robin just shrugged, turning away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max hated it.

Today was different though. Eddie had finally graduated, and even with as young as Will was, he thought the boys owed him the role of the Game Master. Max didn't disagree. El had told her about the things Will had confided to his sister. Well, actually, he had told Jonathan, and El overheard Jonathan talking to Argyle about it. Will was upset, spending the entire summer trying to get his best friends to play one campaign with him, and all they could do was focus on their girlfriends. Will didn't even like girls. It felt like they had all found something that he exclusively couldn't do. Then he came back, months later, after defeating Vecna, only to find they'd joined an entire DnD club. It was like a stab to his heart.

But the point was, Will had no problem moving dates around the basketball games. So tonight was their last session before the summer. It was the end of their campaign. The finale. Max didn't know the exact term for it. She could see the boys panicking over their decision. Everyone was low on health. Their cleric had died, and everyone else as well. Mike was alone with the final boss. The older boys were arguing among themselves about what Mike should do. Meanwhile Steve had that look on his face. He sat in on a lot more of their campaigns than she did, if Dustin's word was anything to go by. It made sense. He was their ride home. Only until Lucas passed his driver's test in a few months. She figured he'd make this face when that happened too.

Will made his final role for the boss they were fighting. Mike had just rolled to hit, and his odds weren't looking great. The boys were all leaning over the table, watching intently. Dustin's scream was heard first. Max almost had to cover her ears. Even her scream wasn't as high as that. It wasn't a scream of triumph though. He was practically crying, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" It was almost enough to make Max think something had gone genuinely wrong. She looked to Steve again, calm a solemn amid the chaos that had taken over. She knew he was about to say the thing. That dreaded sentence.

"It's alright boys. It is what it is," Steve sighed, looking tired and slightly confused. He may have sat in on more campaigns, but he only knew about as half as much about the game as Max did. Every one of the boys suddenly turned on him.

"How could you say that, Steve?!" Lucas yelled right at Steve's face. He had gotten taller, and was always the first to get sharp and mean when things went wrong. Steve's shoulders hunched as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's not that big of a deal, Sinclair.." Steve tried to start off. He hated when they looked at him like this. Like he had laughed at them for crying over a dead dog. It was just a game.

"Not that big of a deal!?" all three boys cried in unison. Will was sitting smugly in his chair, satisfied with their displeasure. "This campaign took all year to complete, Steve!" Mike shouted. "I didn't get to finish my last campaign, remember!?" Lucas was upset. Steve could reason with his frustration. Steve didn't think Eddie had apologized nearly enough to make up for excluding Lucas because he liked sports.

[asquinate]

I've done it again my friends :)

“Can we revisit the idea that the mind flayer is possessing them because—this—I don't know what's going on anymore?” Dustin asked the group that was huddled around the couch, watching Will and Mike, who were in the kitchen, making something and laughing together.

“I agree that as much as I had expected them to get together, I also expected them to be normal people about it,” Jonathan mumbled, looking over to the kitchen.

“Not to mention, they were both still flirting around each other just yesterday.” Erica pointed out, Lucas looked at her with a weird look.

“What? It's not my fault I have eyes; you idiots are just dense!”

“Okay, but what about the whole time travel thing?”

“Hell if I know-”      

“Hey, we made pancakes and waffles if you guys haven’t eaten yet,” Will called from the kitchen, walking out with two plates stacked with food. Mike trailed behind him with some condiments and a mug of black coffee.      

“Sorry, we used up all the pancake mix, Hopper; if you want, we can go buy you some later,” Mike said with a nod at the plates. Hopper just stared mutely between the food and Mike, looking incredibly confused.      

“Yeah, they have to be from some alternative dimension, because in no world is Michael Wheeler polite,” Hopper huffed. Will chuckled a bit, and Mike looked deeply offended.      

“Okay, we need to clear this up—are you two actually time travelers?” Joyce asked, looking from Will to Mike.      

“Yeah, it seems like it, Mom,” Will laughed slightly, “we are from around 32 years in the future actually.”      

“Wait really?” Dustin asked, looking at the two of them with suspicion, “But you guys look the same?”      

“It’s a weird time travel rule, can’t look older or younger than the age you were at the time, don’t know why,” Mike explained.

"though that excludes times when you didn't exist yet," Will added.    

"Wait, have you ever traveled through time before?" Steve asked.      

“Yeah, but never this far back before; it's part of Will’s powers,” Mike answered easily, moving to sit down on a nearby armchair.      

"Wait a minute! Will has powers?” El whispered, looking a strange mix of delighted and horrified.      

“Yeah, I’ve had them for a while; they’re not the same as yours, though,” Will explained.      

“Wait, does that mean that you from this time has powers too?”      

“Oh yeah, so does-”      

“No. You are not telling them that we are not breaking the timeline more than is necessary,” Mike cut Will off, the latter looking sheepish at his husband.      

“C’mon, Mikey, we already have to reset the timeline before we leave; we might as well do it,” Will reasoned.

“No, it's long as fuck to explain, and I still have trauma from the last time,” Mike shot back, looking slightly irritated.      

“All right,” Will said, leaning against the armchair as he reached for Mike's coffee, stealing it as his husband watched with a raised eyebrow.      

“Uh, are you guys going to tell us what you're talking about?” Lucas questioned.      

“Nah, Mike said no.”      

“Any more questions?” Mike rushed as he stole his coffee back from Will and took a sip.      

“Who’s the tallest in the future?”      

“Me,” both Will and Mike said at the same time.      

“I’m the tallest, Will,”

“We are literally the same height!”

“I'm 5'10, you're 5'9; there is a difference!”

“Of one inch, c’mon-”   

“Oh my god, they argue like an old married couple,” Dustin groaned, leaning back on the couch and watching his two friends.

“Hey, if you think we’re bad, you should see Max and Lucas,” Mike commented, having heard Dustin's comment.

“Oh yeah, when they are arguing about the girls doing whatever, it makes me feel single.”

“Will, you're not single,” Mike corrected.

“I know Michael, I said it makes me feel single, which I am not; you have nothing to worry about; I didn't spend my entire adolescence pinning for you to break up now," Will said, eliciting a laugh and a peck on the cheek from Mike.

“Now I feel single,” Dustin groaned.

"Wait, did you say girls? I- Me and Max have daughters?” Lucas choked out, looking a concerning amount of red.

“Oh yeah, and a son; the girls are applying for college now though, but the youngest is still a sophomore in high school.”

“Three kids?”

“Oh fuck, now I think we broke Lucas-”

Okay but like I've seen a lot of the past byler meets current party but- may I introduce you to future byler meets current party?

This cannot be real, Mike thought as he looked ahead at the mirror in front of him. He raised a hand to run through his straightened curls with a horrified expression.

What happened? What is this? This has to be some sort of insane fever dream. Yeah, that makes sense. He and Will went to that new Indian place last night; maybe he got some kind of food poisoning or something. That explains this weird hallucination of being 15 years old again and in his parent's old house instead of his own.

“MIKE! Hurry up, we have a meeting with the party in 20 minutes, and I'm not waiting for you to get your ass out of the bathroom!” He heard a voice sounding familiar through the wall, but he couldn't place it. He pulled open the door to see, holy shit-

“Nancy?!” He gasped at the younger version of his sister. She turned around from where she was walking down the stairs and looked at him with an annoyed expression.

“What, Mike? I don't have time to deal with any stupid bullshit you're trying to pull on me right now-”

“Holy shit,” he mumbled quietly to himself, gaping at her. She looked so different from when he had last seen her a month or so ago. Her hair was short around her shoulders, contrary to the long hair she usually wore in a ponytail. Her style had returned to that of high school—or perhaps college—god, what year was it? He can't be imagining this, can he? It's like a terrifyingly accurate flashback.

“Nancy, I need to ask you something incredibly important, and I need you to answer honestly.”

“Mike? Why are you acting so weird? It's not funny; we have shit we need to do, y’know?” She said briskly.

"Nancy, what year is it?” She paused, looking at him in confusion, and he sighed, "Nancy, what's the year? Because last I checked, it was 2018-”

“2018? What the hell are you talking about, Mike? It's 1986?”

“Fuck.” He sighed as he went over to the nearest wall and began to bang his head against it repeatedly.

“What the hell- Mike?!”

Why can't he just live his life in peace?

[helioleti]

An analysis on Lumax & Melvin’s relationships in comparison

The difference between the Lumax breakup and the Melvin breakup was that when Max broke up with Lucas, she was grieving. She was pushing people away. Not just Lucas, but all her friends. There is a whole plotline in s4 revolving around Max’s coping mechanism to isolate herself, and how it was an understandable mistake on her part to do so, and a source of guilt for Lucas that he wasn’t there for her even if there was little he could’ve actually done.

When El dumped Mike, it was Mike’s fault. No matter how much you twist it, no matter how much Hopper meddled, Mike chose to lie to El instead of telling her about Hopper. Not to mention El needed time away from Mike. She needed to spend time with people who weren’t her first friend, first boyfriend, first ever person she trusted after coming out of the lab.

Similarly, Mike needed to recognize he was being neglectful of his friends and interests outside of El (leading up to his fight with Will). Not to mention he never really apologized to El, he only tried to slap a bandaid on the situation by saying “Yeah haha guess blank (love) made me go silly & crazy,” instead of saying something meaningful like Lucas did.

Here’s Mike’s whole apology speech for reference:

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something. It’s just, being broken up, it’s been hard. And… I like that you and Max are friends now. It’s just, I was jealous at first. And— and angry. And that’s why I said all that stupid stuff. And it’s like I wanted you all to myself. And now I realize how unfair that is. And selfish. And, like… I’m sorry. I just […], I’ve never felt like this […] with anyone before… and… (sighs) You know, they do say it makes you crazy.”

He essentially says “I was being shitty and acted out because I love you so much” which is,, Kind of manipulative, actually. I highly doubt he was aware of this. But it’s clear he missed the point. He doesn’t truly understand why the breakup was hard for him.

It wasn’t like he missed El so much and realized his mistakes. (I mean, he was quicker to ride all across town in the rain to apologize to Will than to give El a phone call to talk it out. Not to mention he shifts the blame to Hopper, and then to Max, saying she’s “corrupting her”). But rather, he didn’t know who he was outside of the relationship anymore. He’d abandoned his interests and his friends, essentially everything else that defined him. It’s almost as if he’s built his entire self worth and personality on having a girlfriend.

Call it a trauma response to hyperfixate on El, or his way of dealing with internalized Homophobia (if we look at it through Byler theory), but the way Mike behaves after getting together with El is a complete contrast to how Lucas does. Lucas openly makes fun of Mike’s fixation on El, showing how he recognizes that it’s ridiculous. He’s still a friend to the party outside of Max, (although you can argue he’s sidelined Will and Dustin too, just not to the extent Mike has).

Lumax’s Relationship problems vs Melvin’s

I’ve seen people argue that Max “dumping Lucas 5 times” is a red flag, but I feel like this just proves you haven’t understood Max’s character. Or Lucas’s. While I would like to know how serious these breakups actually were (and I doubt they were actual breakups more than just silly fights which Lucas could resolve by following his dad’s advice), I can imagine Max’s trauma holds her back from truly trusting that romantic relationships can go well. She probably overestimates little flaws in a partner and views them as a red flag, desperate to protect herself from the type of relationship her mom and stepdad lead.

And the Lucas we see in s4 has matured out of the one he was in previous seasons too, showing he’s learned more about himself by trying out new things in High School. And showing how he’s come to understand what his relationship with Max truly means to him. Despite not being at fault for Max pulling away, he realized what it means to love someone and be there for them when they need it most. He sees Max and all her trauma, and he’s willing to be with her through all of it. He sees her.

Unlike Mike, who well into s4 is still rigged with confusion and, again, tries to blame other people for his relationship problems with El. (“You can’t let these mouth breathers ruin us”). Again, in his monologue in the final episode, he hastily explains his inability to say “I love you” by saying he’s just (checks notes) afraid of… losing her. Afraid of her not needing him anymore, because her needing him in that first week when she was out of the lab was what they built their relationship on.

And now this dynamic has shifted, and in the time with her away in Cali he rediscovered himself too, reconnected with his interests, realizing he doesn’t need their relationship anymore to define who he is either. Not to mention he still calls El his “Superhero,” essentially undermining her desire to just be a person, aside from her powers. He doesn’t see her.

I don’t know the source, but I heard our King Caleb McLaughlin once said something along the lines of:

“I like Lucas and Max’s relationship. It’s not like Mike and El’s, it’s real.”

And I think that’s pretty well said.

[roanniom]

Happy Halloween my Valentine! 🎃🖤

Please, if you would share some thots about convincing the boys to join you (and the rest of the gang) in a group costume.

My valentine and the love of my life <3 Anything for you forever and always.

🎃🍂🍁🎃

Pumpkins and a Nerd Posse

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Warnings: nothing except a little bit of romantic competition and a blissfully unaware you...so far

You just know that Steve's going to be the wet blanket about it. Eddie, however, is down from the moment that you say the word "costume." He's got ten different ideas by the time you finish the question to begin with. After a little bit of push and pull you two have put your heads together and come up with the perfect group costume - a mix of characters from the Lord of the Rings (of course).

You and Eddie spend an entire weekend making the costume from an assortment of blankets and clothes you find down at the local thrift store. Robin is super down and helps with cobbling the pieces together since she (apparently?!) is good at sewing. You conscript Dustin to help make props, and he, in turn, pesters Max, Lucas, Erica, Mike, Will, and El into helping (which they do with plenty of grumbling, but one stern look from you, the backup babysitter, and they are zipping their lips and getting to work).

When you finally tell Steve, dropping by with Eddie during a Friday night shift at Family Video, Steve is predictably uptight about it.

"No. If I have to dress up, it's gonna be something cool and on my own. You're not roping me into your little nerd posse."

You go to argue with him but Eddie steps in with a hand on your shoulder.

"Why don't you go pick out some movies with Robin for the horror movie marathon. I'll handle Harrington."

You skip off immediately, more than happy to leave Eddie to deal with Steve Stick-in-the-Mud Harrington. You don't hear this next part, where Eddie leans forward, forearms on the counter, but that's just as well. You have absolutely no idea that for the last year, Eddie and Steve have been separately - and conspiratorially - pining over you from a distance. It's a twisted little situation, caught somewhere between support and competition, but either way, their individual obsessions with you is something they have bonded over.

"Harrington, you're gonna want to get in on this group costume thing."

"I've already told you guys -"

"Dude, she's dressing up as a sexy elf," Eddie stage whispers, his eyes darting across the room to your oblivious form and back. Steve's eyes widen and he, too, looks over at you quickly.

"She's...how sexy are we talking here?"

"Oh fuck off, man. Let's just say she won't be winning any authenticity prizes with J.R.R. Tolkien if you know what I'm saying."

"What the fuck is a 'J.R.R. Token'?" Steve asks, confusion contorting his face. Eddie closes his eyes to keep from overreacting.

"You're such a - ugh. Look, it doesn't matter. All I can say is, I've seen the costume and...it's not much costume. Catch my drift?"

Steve's eyes practically roll back in his head.

"God damn it, you got to see it already you lucky bastard?"

"Easy now, don't get a bat out anything. I haven't seen her actually in the costume yet, I just saw it laid out with the other costumes. But let me tell you, it is not something to miss."

Steve scrubs a hand over his face in agony. He looks back at you across the room through his fingers.

"Ok but can't I just dress up in a normal costume and enjoy her looking sexy? Why do I have to join the loser brigade?"

"First - ouch, man. You spend enough time with us that you're pretty much brigadier general at this point, so fuck you," Eddie points out, reaching over and flicking Steve's nametag off his vest, just for effect. Steve flails accordingly. "And second - you really think she'll get over you saying no to her group plans? You and I both know she'd be pissed and wouldn't speak to you the entire party."

"Ugh, you're right," Steve says, defeated, running a hand through his hair. Eddie runs a hand through his own hair, as if somehow influenced by Steve's anxious motions.

"Although on second thought I'm not sure why I'm working so hard to convince you to join. If she's mad at you, gives me more of a chance to make my move..." Eddie adds, seemingly coming to the realization slowly while he speaks. Steve stands up straighter and bellows across the room to where you and Robin stand debating over Return of the Living Dead and Night of the Creeps.

"Alright! I'll be part of your little band of Halloween weirdos!"

You and Robin cheer and jump up and down, missing the next part of the boys' interaction entirely. Steve turns back to Eddie, folds his arms across his chest, and gives him a smug smile.

"May the best man win," Steve quips. Eddie suddenly smiles back, so confident it makes Steve's smile falter.

"He will. You're forgetting that the Lord of the Rings isn't just her favorite book, it's mine as well."

The color drains from Steve's face at the implication of his inadequacy. Meanwhile Eddie ushers you back over, rental picked and now in hand. You give Steve a little wave and promise to send him information on the upcoming Halloween party. You step out into the parking lot completely unaware of the tension behind you. Before following, Eddie salutes Steve one last time.

"Tally ho, general. You might want to catch up on some reading."

Steve throws up two middle fingers and Eddie sails out of Family Video in a fit of laughter.

🎃🍂🍁🎃

I...I think I'm doing a part 2...stay tuned.

[hawkinsp0st]

Hey bestie (can I call you that?) have you ever been through the anti-byler tag, not the like mikhail posts or anything, but actual anti-byler stuff? what did you think? it made me rather sad :( like i get we can be really opinionated but that doesn't make us delusional or obsessed

you guys are all my besties so yes ofc <3

first of all, im so sorry to hear it made you sad! be sure to look after yourself <3 watch something happy, spend time w friends/fam/pets, read some fluff, hang out in the byler tag and post some memes with us :-)

yes omg…….i went in it once like a month ago……..honestly, the arguments lacked compassion and were also weak af just narratively, the vibes were really annoying and bad so i forgot most of what i saw LOL !!

the main thing i saw was that 1. bylers are misogynistic towards el, 2. bylers are making something out of nothing essentially, and 3. that it’s unhealthy for will to be so attached to mike and he needs to move on.

i laughed so hard at these arguments when i saw them bc i’m a walking contradiction of all 3:

1. i didn’t give af about byler till s4v2, because literally all i cared about was el and nancy and max and joyce……i adore the female characters on this show w my entire soul……….so bylers being misogynistic? my lie detector test determined that was a lie !

2. i didn’t even know byler was a ship that existed till s4, and the only reason i noticed it was bc while watching s4, mike and will had several romantic moments LOL……the duffers byler’d me! i wasn’t searching for an mlm ship and grasping at straws just to make that happen, which is what a lot of antis seem to think we’re doing (aaand the tone with which they express that is often homophobic/condescending).

3. before i was a critical thinker i kinda agreed with this i guess?………but then i rewatched s1&2, and watched the van scene & milk monologue. so basically, i’m convinced antis just do not watch the show. mike’s love for will is already life affirming as it stands, even pre requited feelings—“you make (me) feel like i’m better for being different.” aka mike literally makes will feel okay about being different and being gay when no one else in the show has made him feel that way outside of joyce & jonathan. that’s amazing, and i’d argue that mike has an overwhelmingly positive effect on will 24/7 (except during their fights). he defends him against homophobic bullies in s1 even when he’s not around. he never leaves his side in s2. even in s3, once he learns the mindflayer is back, he drops everything and becomes the Party leader again all bc he trusted what will told him. and in s4, we find out that he makes will feel good about being different. please lmk what’s unhealthy about that.

sorry this is so long, but in conclusion: you’re correct, we are not delusional or obsessed. we are just enjoyers, and smart watchers, of media :-) much love my dear !!!!! <3

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 3

Masterlist // part one // part two

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, death, betrayal

•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰

╔.▪️.═════════╗

Being sapnaps child will include..

╚═════════.▪️.╝

𝐏𝗼𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐥

Apparently the castle got attacked

George was killed by the one and only technoblade

You haven’t personally met the man but you respected him

After all he is a legend

But he killed George

So you were dragged with sapnap when he got pinged on his coms

Dream and George were arguing on the prime path

The sight somewhat terrified you

They were supposed to be best friends?

Dream is the strongest person on the server

George was supposed to be the most unproblematic and protected person

For some reason Quackity was also there

Hiding in the corner of Tommy’s house

“You don’t give a shit about us”

Those words brought some hurt to you as they left sapnaps mouth

“Of course I care about you! I just want to keep him safe.”

The three most important men in your life

The dream team, and ultimate trio the friendship that could never crack! The ones who raised you to be who you are

They were falling apart

“George is no longer king!”

Quackity was just eating all of the drama

Damn duck

“I’ve done so much for you, I hope you don’t forget.”

“Like what?” “I helped you raise a child Sap, a damn child.”

That pissed the both of you off

As if you didn’t just recently spend a whole day with him

None the less your whole life

Being drawn into wars, multiple actually

Practically being drawn to death

���Don’t you bring them into this Dream.”

“Eret is now king again, he can actually rule this place.”

“I was the best king this server ever had!”

So there it happened

The crown was snatched off of George’s head and you were dragged along with it

“Don’t worry, we can start our own place!”

“El rapids it is”

𝐄𝐥 𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐬

You were 100% skeptical about all of this

You didn’t trust that this would be good

I mean how could you

Everything that someone starts on the server

Dies, explodes, nukes, or straight up fails

So instead you went down to Lmanburg for the day!

You went to Nikkis bakery to get something to eat

She was glad to give you a couple snacks for the road

So while you were walking around the new area you spotted dream

“Where you heading off to?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You both eyed each other weirdly

“Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

You just laughed

Ofcourse you were upset

But you were also bored

“And?” “Come on let’s go see tommy”

So you agreed and carelessly followed the green man

You missed Tommy, after not having seen him for a bit

Fucking hell you needed friends

But when you got there

“Why the fuck is everything gone!”

You ran around the now blown up area

The tents were destroyed and signs were thrown around

Then you noticed the large pillar

You instantly ran to dream, begging him to give you a pearl

He was upset himself he lost his leech

So you threw the pearl up thankfully landing on the pillar

Looking around to see if there was any way he could’ve survived

But you accidentally tripped

And lost your first life

𝐘/𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝗼𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝗼𝗼 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 ♡︎♥︎♥︎

𝐏𝐫𝗼𝐩𝗼𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐬

You woke up screaming in your bed

The three lines on your wrist now faded into two

Sapnap came rushing in holding you lose to him

You tried not to but you cried a little

This was your first time loosing a life..

And you didn’t even mean too!

“Your never fucking leaving me again.”

Karl came in with Quackity following after

Karl just like snatched you away from sapnap and just held you

That man was ready to go back in time and reverse that from ever happening

Trust me he will if you ever loose another life

So after that everyone kept a close eye on you

That was until one day you were with your dad

You both were at your old house just chilling around

Before he handed you two velvet boxes

You were in awe of the two rings that sat in them

Who the fuck paid for these??

“I’m going to purpose.”

You almost dropped the boxes

“What?”

Sapnap just kept smiling

“You really like em huh” “Yeah flame, I love them.”

So you just hugged him

Internally freaking the fuck out

What would this mean???

Three dads? What if they wanted another child! Oh hell no

So you all stood in el rapids

Candles were spread around the top of the grassy hill

There were flowers blooming from every direction and lanterns set afloat

It looked mystical

You watched as sapnap got down on one knee

Karl was in shock, tears streaming down his eyes

Quackity looked love struck, looking into sapnaps eyes with total adoration

So when they said yes your dad called you and the other two just hugged you

“I’m guessing they said yes” you laughed

“Yeah they did!”

You couldn’t help but be happy

Your dad finally found some happiness

Even tho life was going to shit

If you won’t be there

He’ll have them

𝐋𝗺𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝗺

Oh wait shit did someone spot tommy?

There was supposed to be a festival today

So you went to go check it out

Maybe throw a ball at the furry

“Go fetch!” You shouted at fundy

Yeah he was not happy and just threw you the finger

“Hey N/n is Dream coming?”

You were excited that Tubbo was actually talking to you again

“Huh? Oh yeah I think” “Great thanks”

And back to the disappointment

So you walked over to get a pretzel or some shit

And then heard everyone making a commotion

There he was, Dream walking in (angry) with full netherite armor

Damn dude respect some tradition

“Tommy blew up the fucking community house”

Did someone say tommy?

Oh you were ready to kill that bastard

Hell if Dream didn’t you most definitely will

So you followed everyone to the community house

Yeah you were ready to fucking cry

One of your homes, the place you’d always confide in since you were little

Where dream and George both helped raise you

Now blown to shreds

“What the fuck”

They were talking about Tubbo giving up the discs

Oh we are not going through that shit all over again

And this time the odds are most definitely not in your favor

Then tommy appeared half invisible

“YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD I THOUGHT YOU DIED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”

You litterly stabbed him, having to be held back by Quackity

“Alright hot shot, lets let them have their argument”

Tommy sent you an apologetic look already on the verge of tears

“Tubbo your not seriously considering this”

Then it hit everyone

“The discs were worth more then you ever were!”

Oh yeah we’re you already pissed off at tommy?

Yeah

And he just made it worse

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO TUBBO YOU SHIT HEAD”

Yeah you didn’t take pretending to be dead very lightly

Oh shit why was techno there

never mind, Lmanburg will be gone by tomorrow

No point killing tommy yet

Whos side were you on?

Neither. You litterly went into that battle feild and killed some shit

That was until multiple pieces of tnt landed ontop of your head

And that’s where you lost your second life

Shit

𝐘/𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩 ♡︎♡︎♥︎ ⚠︎︎ᴏɴᴇ ʟɪғᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴɪɴɢ

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐬𝗼𝐧

This time when you won’t up it didn’t feel as bad

But you still screamed

A rush of a heartburn and scars employed on your body

The second line now faded into one

Shit

You were only 16-17 and on one life??

Die young the better

You waited out in your bed until the end of the fight

Death alerts and messages drowning out your communicator

But you had no energy what so ever

Until it all went quiet

You tried your damn best to get out of bed and walked to the damaged Lmanburg

There were people crying

Others were severely hurt

Then there were those who were perfectly fine

The whole place was a crater

Lmanburg.. the place of agony and depths of your pain

Now it’s finally gone

What the hell are you gonna do now?

Quackity spotted you calling out for Sapnap

You felt like you were gonna be crushed under their hold

“I’m gonna fucking kill dream.” You heard Quackity mutter

Sapnap felt like a bad father

Who lets their kids die twice?

(Cough cough Wilbur and dream)

Then suddenly things switched around

You were walking around with a bloodied nose and black eyed Tommy

Yeah you did a number on him

But it’s okay since he was your best friend

And there was a sign inside his house

“Wednesday you and Tubbo. Bring no one or anything, lets settle this once and for all”

The final disc war

“Tommy you can’t go” “I’m going N/n, he has my discs.”

So you like cried a little bit lined up on the prime path

Giving the two probably the last hugs they’ll ever get

Prime you really didn’t want to loose them

So you ran straight to church prime

Litterly begging Master Oolong that they won’t die

“Please please please spare them. Pogchamp.”

(Please this is all jokes and old references don’t cancel me)

You got a blast message from punz on your comms with cords

“Come here. bring your best armor”

So you did so running to the nearest ender chest

If walking means saving tommy and Tubbo, it’s somewhat worth it

Sapnap made sure you didn’t leave his side as you traveled around the nether

even tho you could literally swim in the lava

So just to piss him off

You jumped in

The sigh of relief this man

Yeah he’s gotten a little more paranoid for you

But it’s okay since it’s in love

You looked around the weird black stone room

There were two giant photos of the discs

And everything was made out of the same material

No design what so ever

Tommy and Tubbo ran to you like you were gonna protect them

“Dream why” you asked as he was incased in the blocks

Down on his last life

Just like you

‘I’m sorry’ he mouthed to you

Why was he apologizing to you?

Hasn’t he hurt everyone here

You looked around the different items

Tracing the outline of the item frames

Gasping in shock as you a cage with your name on it next to badboyhalo

“Tell em what you told me! How you blew up the community house!”

Your neck spun around faster then an owl doing that 360 thing

You picked up your ace seriously read to slash his head off

“Wait wait! Lets put him in the prison.”

So they took him off

And it pained you to see it

You trusted that man for a very long time

Nothing stays the same on the Dream Smp

•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰

TUMBLR WOULDNT LET ME WRITE MORE KMS. So yes I’m sorry but there will have to be a part FOUR. I just wanted to finish this-

As always! Ask or request anything and ask if you want to be on a tag list :))

[forthehpfanboys]

Match Already Made

Pair: Draco Malfoy x Reader; he/him.

Summary: Hermione tries to play match maker. She is so determined to see you and Harry get together she's obvious to the fact you're already taken. Even if you’ve kept it a secret.

Warnings: Swears, arguing, sass

Notes: I absolutely adore this holy fu ck

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

-

“Drop it!” You slammed your book shut with aggravation, your hands running through your hair as you stared down at the cover. Your friends didn’t even flinch- well, Ron did a little but would never admit it. “There isn’t anything between me and Harry.”

“Harry and I-”

“Do not. Seriously, Hermione. He’s like my brother and this isn’t Alabama.”

“What?”

“Never mind, Ron.” You sighed. Your hands ran through your hair before gripping the locks and tugging. It was far less painful than hearing your best friend talk about how you could be exchanging saliva with your other best friend. 

On that note, why in the flying, flip flapping fuck was Hermione so damn determined to get you and her bestie together? Don’t get me wrong, you love Harry, sure, but like a brother, and that’s where it ends. Everyone around you assumed since the two of you were so buddy buddy that you were basically made for each other, but no one knew a specific snake had slithered his way into your heart and was determined to keep it that way.

See, you’d gotten along with Harry and Co. because you were put in Gryffindor and, naturally, that begs the question of how you started dating said snake. Well, one day you decided you had enough of Harry and Ron fighting over the dumb Tri-Wizard Tournament and literally dragged the specks wearing boy by his ear across the dining hall and forced the two friends to apologize. 

Instead of focusing on the scene and laughing at the Gryffindor’s embarrassment, Draco was busy falling head over heels for you. The blonde realized just how attractive Harry’s stupid friend was and nothing could stop him from wanting to see you react like that again. Something about you hit him differently than any wizard or witch he’d ever met. 

Since then, he made it his daily mission to tease you at least once a day. Whether it was sitting next to you at the library to ask if he could borrow your legs as earmuffs or calling to you across the dining hall asking if you used the stupefy charm or if you were a natural stunner, he did it all. He’d snicker when you’d solute the middle finger in his direction, but he noticed the blush across your cheeks and kept up the game, determined to have you swooning for him.

Eventually, the blonde realized he’d have to make the move first, leading to him approaching you after potions when the class was empty and, much to Snape’s dismay, asked you to a Hogsmead date. What surprised Draco the most was when you actually said yes without making fun of him. Since then, you have been dating the Slytherin. You two would sneak out after curfew, go swimming in the Black Lake together and spend particularly hard nights in his dorm room all while using the hidden passageways the Weasley Twins trusted you with. They were probably the only Gryffindors that knew you were kissing the lips of their little brother's best friend's rival and they kept it to themselves.

When you started dating the blonde, you both made a pact. You would keep the relationship a secret from the residents of Gryffindor tower and he’d cut the ‘mudblood’ bull crap and at least try to be nice to Harry and his friends. He doesn’t have to be their best friend but just, don’t be rude. He kept up his side of the promise easily, as did you. Except you were so close to yelling it from a fucking mountain top- or the astromony tower. 

Hermione had this idea stuck in her head and Ron agreed too. See, the idea was that you and Harry would make the best couple for many reasons and she was, once again, trying to get you two to at least try. She would go on and on about how there was a spark, whatever that meant.

“Oh come on, (Y/n)! One date! What harm could it possibly have?” Hermione was basically begging- she had been for weeks. She wasn’t one to go for this but ever since Ginny noticed how you two would bump hips in the hallway or wrap your arms around each other's shoulders, she was convinced there was a spark.

“Mione, I love you, I do, but please, drop it.” You spoke up, shoving your book off to the side to cross your arms over the table. “The spark doesn’t exist.” You and Harry both knew it was true. 

“(Y/n). We all know you don’t have eyes on anyone so why not? The spark could form over time.. Right?” Ron added in, his chin resting in his hand as he shrugged his shoulders. You held your breath at his statement. It almost slipped out that you did, in fact, have someone.

“What? Like it did with you and Lavender?” Harry spoke up, causing you to snicker. The male in specks had barely spoken two words since the conversation turned from potions essays and charms homework to love lives.

“I thought we agreed not to bring that up again..” Ron mumbled, looking back down at his book.

“Anyway, I could still see it! I really do think you guys have potential.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders, before going back to her book. You could tell she was tapping her foot against the wooden floor. She must’ve reread the page seven times before looking back up to you. “But seriously! You guys could have quidditch dates! The seeker and the fanboy.”

“Hermione, stop. There’s nothing here. Trust me.” You were rubbing your temples in anguish. You knew she was a determined witch but holy hell. You and Harry let out a collective sigh of physical pain when she went on anyway. Stubborn girl, seriously. 

“But there could be, (Y/n)! That’s my point! Could you imagine how amazing this could be for you two? You both need an amazing partner! Someone who cares! Someone who’ll take care of you! Someone who’s willing to themselves on the wire for a chang-” She stopped abruptly, causing you to glance side to side. What caused her to stop like that and how do you keep it around you? 

You squealed in surprise and jumped when a hand landed on your chin and the other landed on the back of your chair. You were about to throw a nice right hook, but the hand on your chin directed your gaze upward, showing Draco with a smirk.

“Hello, love.” He planted a hard kiss against your lips, leading the entire library to become, somehow, quieter. Like, before it was drop-a-pin quiet, but now it was like drop-a-hair-follicle quiet. When he pulled away, he chuckled at your confused expression. “How was divination today? I heard you have a test tomorrow. Is that what you’re studying for? I could help.” He removed his hands from you and pulled the empty chair out next to you before sitting down and wrapping his arm around you. 

Your eyes stared at your boyfriend in shock, your jaw hanging like you had a broken hinge. When his icy blue eyes met yours, you could see the jealousy burning in his irises. He must’ve heard Hermione talking about how perfect you and Harry would be. Of course he did, everyone in the library heard it.

“What the bloody fuck just happened?!” Ron yelled, earning himself a few glares from studying students. Your head whipped over to your friends, almost forgetting about them. Hermione’s jaw was practically against the floor while Harry didn’t look the slightest bit shocked. “No, I take that back. When did this fucking happen?!”

“Language, Ronald.” Draco spoke up, his arm tightening around your shoulder while his eyebrow raised. The blonde put a curled finger to his lips, counting the time in his head. “About four months ago.”

“Four. Four?” The fuming red-head held up said number of fingers. “Four months and you just.. What? You didn’t tell us? What kind of bloody frie-” 

“Godric, Ron! This is why we didn’t say anything.” You kicked the leg of the table and turned to look away from your friends, trying to ignore the soft ache in your chest. It hurt that your friends didn’t really accept the relationship and, why would they? Draco has been a twat to them for years. Suddenly it felt like you were in a sauna as your eyes slowly pricked with tears. Were they ever going to talk to you again? Did you just lose the friends you have? The twins took it so well-

“That and my father would disown me faster than a fire bolt flies.” Draco shrugged casually, a smile coming across his lips when you turned to him. 

“Wait, you guys didn’t know?” Harry asked, lifting his head up to turn to his friends, who turned to him quickly. “Oh, come on! It was so obvious!” Harry’s words left Ron, Hermione and yourself struggling to find something to say back.

“What?” Was all you could manage out.

“If Harry noticed, we might have an issue.” Draco snickered out. “I wonder who el-” The blonde was cut off by your hand covering his mouth.

“Wait, Harry, you knew? And you didn’t tell me?” You stared at him.

“Well.. Yeah. I figured it out when you were doodling his name all over your parchment in transfiguration and when you guys were making goo goo eyes at each other that afternoon.” Harry scoffed, rolling his eyes. Right, he.. He sat next to you in that class. Your cheeks turned bright red before you could hide it. “I didn’t wanna say anything in case you guys kept it a secret on purpose, so you’re welcome.” 

“Gee, thanks Potter. I’ll keep that in mind.” Draco snickered out, a grin spread across his face when you gently shoved him in his chair.

“So, I still have one question.” Ron grumbled out, raising his hand halfway like he did in all his classes. “Why?”

“Same reason you’re dating Granger.” Draco paused, looking down to avoid anyone's gaze before licking his suddenly dry lips. He cleared his throat and glanced back up, choosing to look Ron right in the eyes. Ron nodded, waving his hand in a circular motion in a ‘go on, spit it out’ kind of way. The blonde could feel your eyes gaze on him, but chose to ignore it.  “I love (Y/n). I thought that was obvious.” 

Your eyes grew wider somehow. Ron blinked a few times, as if understanding but also not understanding. He’d only seen Draco as a cold, heartless beast and Hermione was in the same boat, but now they were confused. Or maybe it was just Ron. Hermione was smiling at you. This was the first time he’d said it out loud. You looked down at the desk, before looking at Harry, who was hiding a grin behind the now standing book, before turning to Draco. 

“Wait, really?”

“Of course. Why do you think I basically ran over here when I heard Hermione speaking about you and Potter going on a quidditch date? No offense to you, Potter, I’m sure you’re a lovely partner.” 

“None taken.”

“What universe am I in?”

“Ron, listen, please? We all know Draco has said some shit in his past, ok?” You turned to him. “We know and-and he’s trying to change and Godric, please don’t hate me when I say this. He.. Look, he-” You started stumbling over words, not wanting to put any in Draco’s mouth. He decided to speak up for you, hoping to put you out of your misery.

“I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t fix what I’ve said, how I’ve acted and what not, but a lot has changed in these four months and I’d rather not see my boyfriend lose his best friends over who he’s dating. He deserves the best of the best.”

Now even Harry seemed shocked. Ron looked down at his book before shutting it. He took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. 

“You’re lucky you make him happy or else I would throw you off the astronomy tower.” Ron spoke up.

“Oh thank Godric.” You sighed out, your body slumping back in the chair. 

“But if you hurt his feelings, I swear to Merlin and who’s.. Who’s that muggle one?” Ron turned to his girl, confusion etched across his features, leading to giggle a tiny bit.

“Jesus?” Hermione grabbed Ron’s hand from the table.

“Yeah, him!” Ron pointed to his girl again for emphasis. “I swear on both of them I will not hesitate to do so.”

“Not if I do it first. If I do hurt him, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.” Draco nodded his head a tiny bit and pulled you closer into his side, a grin across his features. 

“.. I’m not gonna get used to this.” Ron shook his head. The brunette witch sitting next to him elbowed him in the side gently. “Ow! I’m just being honest!”

“Ronald, you can’t just say stuff like that!” She countered, rolling her eyes.

“Why not? It’s the truth!”

“Because it’s rude..”

The couples arguing faded when Draco leaned into your bubble, whispering under the arguing so only you heard.

“Is this ok?” Draco’s arm was around your waist now, his eyes glancing into yours when you turned to him. You were so close to him, you could feel his tiny puffs of breathing brush across your lips. 

“Of course, just not how I expected it to go.” You twiddled your fingers. “But I’m glad we told them.” You smiled, leaning up to brush your nose against his.

“So you feel the same way then?”

“Is it not obvious?”

“Nope. you haven’t said it yet, (Y/n). I must hear you admit it.” Draco smiled at you, his eyes fluttering shut. He smiled wider when you sighed dramatically. 

“I love you too, Draco.” You pressed your lips against his and ignored the fake gagging noises from the red-head across the table. When you pulled away, you pressed your forehead against his, a matching smile across your lips.

“So does that mean I get to be the best man at the wedding?”

“Harry!”

“What? I’m just curious!”

[adorasgayass]

No Strangers To Love: Never Gonna Give You Up

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Summary:

THIS IS A JOKE

After an unbearable time apart, bitter exes, Lilith and Hooty, are forced to spend time together as they plan their rebellion against Emperor Belos. Will they get back together? Or will they be strangers to love once more? Will they run around and desert each other? Or will they never give each other up?

Read on AO3 | Co-written with @lumiity​

Notes: Exclusive art on AO3

Hooty watches the beautiful witch holding him in her arms as she begins to cry. Hooty itches to do something as she turns away from him, covering her eyes with her arm as her sobs begin to shake her whole body.

“Hoot hoot,” Hooty moves closer to her, “Why are you crying? Is something wrong, beautiful emo witch?”

“You really-” her voice hitches as she wipes away her tears, “You really don’t remember me, Hootcifer?”

“I-” Hooty scans her face, something tugging at his memories at the back of his head. But before he can think about it too long, a sharp knock comes at the door.

The rest of the people in the room scatter in all different directions, save for the beautiful woman, a human child, a small dog-like thing, and a grey-haired witch in a bright red dress. The grey-haired witch opens the door and Hooty can just barely see two people in guard uniforms.

“Are you,” one of them looks at a paper, then backs up, “Eda the owl lady? We were told that you were behind the attack on Emperor Belos’ castle.”

“I’m not Eda,” the witch says, crossing her arms. “Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“Hey, wait,” the other guard squints at Hooty, then at the beautiful witch holding him. “I know you two. You guys are the happy couple who got engaged today! What a coincidence!”

“What?” Hooty struggles to remember. “I don’t hoot-”

The beautiful witch covers his beak with her hand and says, “We sure are! This is our engagement party.”

Hooty moves his face from her hand then licks his beak, “Yum, yum, yum.”

The grey-haired witch glares at him, “What the actual fuck, Hooty?”

“You taste,” Hooty moves his tongue around his mouth, “familiar somehow.”

“For Titan’s sake!” the grey-haired witch yells. “There are children here!”

Hooty glances at the human and dog thing, who both look moderately horrified. But the beautiful witch touches a hand to Hooty’s face and all thoughts of emotionally scarring children leaves Hooty’s mind. He turns to face her and is captivated by her wide teal and grey eyes.

“Please try, Hootcifer,” her voice is soft and pleading, “Try to remember me. I love you, Hootficer. You are the Romeo to my Juliet.”

“I know that story, hoot,” Hooty perks up, “I even remember a quote! ‘See how she eats that rat. Oh, that I were a rat that I might be in her mouth, hoot hoot.’”

"That's not the line," the grey-haired witch grumbles.

"Do you know what's happening, Michelle?" He hears one of the guards whisper from behind him.

"I think it's foreplay?" The other answers. "Maybe we shouldn't be here, El."

But Hooty is not paying attention to any of them as the beautiful witch leans closer, "You are the hottest owl tube that was spawned in hell by a long furby and a tapeworm that I have ever met."

The words are familiar and suddenly, everything clicks into place. Hooty's eyes begin to tear up as he looks at Lilith, "Lulu?"

"Do you remember me?" Lilith flings her arms around his tube body, "Oh, Hootcifer!"

"Oh, come on," Eda groans as Lilith brings her mouth to Hooty's beak, "No one wants to see that."

"Well-"

"I swear if that horse says another word, I will cut his tongue out of his fucking mouth and shove it down his throat."

But Hooty is too busy paying attention to a different tongue being shoved down his throat to pay anyone else any mind.

When they finally pull apart, Lilith places a cool hand on Hooty’s cheek, which he leans into.

“I really thought I lost you, Hootcifer,” tears are streaming down Lilith’s pale face, “I do not know what I would do without you. I do not know if I would be able to live.”

“Oh, my dearest Lulu,” Hooty licks away a tear from her face, savouring the saltiness. “You are my everything, hoot hoot. I am so sorry that we argued. It’s just-”

Hooty lets himself trail off, too embarrassed to continue.

“Just what, sweetheart?” she asks him, “Please, tell me, honey bear.”

“I just-” Hooty takes a breath, “Hoot, I just never felt good enough for you. Especially compared to your exes.”

“My exes?” Lilith’s delicate blue eyebrows scrunch together, “How come?”

“You’ve dated such intimidating people, hoot hoot,” he turns away from her, “Emperor Belos, Count Olaf, Madame Carp, Mother Gothel, Levana Blackburn, Evander Wade. They are all so fucking hot and I’m just another owl tube that was made by a tapeworm and a long furby procreating in the deep, fiery pits of hell.”

“But you dated Evander Wade too,” Lilith points out.

“Yeah, hoot hoot,” Hooty shrugs, even though he does not have shoulders, “but I know that Evandy always liked you better.”

“Oh, Hootcifer,” Lilith gives a small smile, “It doesn’t matter who he liked more. Don’t you get it? I love you . I always have. So please, just this once, stay.”

“Why does that sound so familiar,” Hooty hears Swift Wind say from a few feet away but he is not listening.

“Oh, Lulu,” Hooty breathes, “Of course I will stay, hoot hoot. I will never leave you again, my beautiful emo witch.”

Lilith wipes a tear from the corner of her eye between leaning closer to Hooty, “I’m never gonna give you up, my dearest Hootcifer.”

“And I’m never gonna let you down, my sexy Lulu, hoot hoot.”

[kingofkate]

Random Rant on Heart no Kuni no Alice (because I want to)

This is going to be stupid long, but I’m not sorry because I want to put these thoughts down.

Basically, this long rant is going to look at the three main games where Alice’s relationship with Peter White is explored: Heart (game 1), Clover (game 2), and Twin World (1.5?????). I’ll look at how their relationship is portrayed and the differences between them.

Let’s start with Heart no Kuni no Alice, the first game in the series. (I’ll be referring to the remake version that only focuses on the main story)

The story of the first game is the introduction to the series, and so Alice’s relationship (no matter who you choose) is pretty basic and there isn’t much story beyond her the romancing. This is most true with Peter.

The entirety of this game, and Alice’s relationship with Peter, is one long stream of Peter pushing Alice’s boundaries to see how far he can get. It’s actually a little scary looking at the way he slowly inches his way through the relationship.

It starts with Peter coming to Alice’s room on his breaks to rest his head in her lap. Even though she doesn’t like it, nothing stops him (she moves room and locks her door but he always finds her and uses a key to unlock the door). Then, he get’s her more comfortable with touching him and with the fact that he is a rabbit.

After it makes the move to them sleeping together (in Rabbit form), Peter starts only sleeping in human form. Once Peter has a nightmare.... uh.... bad dream, he hugs Alice, which leads to this becoming a more common thing. He starts kissing her. Even when she tries to get him to stop he tells her that if she doesn’t give him permission to kiss her, he’s going to do it anyway.

He does try to take it further, but thankfully Alice puts her foot down and he respects that... for a while... Outside of the bedroom, Peter starts trying to get her to advance their relationship status in front of others. 

Alice admits they are friends, which makes him happy, but he isn’t satisfied. He gets her to eventually admit they are “lovers” after pointing out that most people don’t make out every night with their “friends”. (somebody hasn’t heard of friends with benefits)

The ball comes around and the canon choice has Alice and Peter go back to his room for the first time. Peter admits that he hasn’t brought her there before because he was afraid that he would scare her away. He was probably right about that, since he proceeds to tie her to the bed and start getting freaky while telling her that HE is scared. Whatever.

Like everything else, this becomes the new normal for them and Alice starts spending more time in his room. This also marks the change in Peter from being unnervingly kind to Alice, to starting to torment her more. He puts this down to trying to get her to “stay”, as her return to her world is approaching. 

When the time comes, she does choose to stay. This leads to a conversation with Peter where he admits that he wants her to love him, a huge change to what he used to say. This brings him to tears as he realizes he has become “selfish” by wanting her to love him, even though he doesn’t think she can.

Spoiler Alert (wait why am I putting this at the end of the story?!) Alice already loves him, although she’s pissed at herself for it and refuses to tell him.

The story basically ends with them just deciding to go forward with the relationship and Alice will stay. The End.

I’m not going to talk more about the “No-stay route” where basically Peter just force kisses Alice anytime she asks anyone for information about the medicine Peter gave her at the beginning until she just decides they are dating.

I’ll analyze this more as we go through the second game.

 Clover no Kuni no Alice (game 2 I guessssssss?????)

This game starts much later after Alice’s decision to stay. It also goes off the assumption that Alice didn’t have a relationship in the first game and was just friends with everyone. 

Right off the bat I’ll say that I LOVE the progression of this game way more than the first game.

The game starts with Alice waking up to realize that both Peter, Ace, and Vivaldi are hiding in her bed. After a long confrontation they all say they were there to tell her about the country straight up moving from Heart to Clover.

They go to the assembly and after getting used to the new world, Alice and Peter (who are already friends at this point) go for dinner.

The second best thing here is that Peter is more chill and happy with them being friends, so the relationship doesn’t start outright. The actual best part of the game is that the relationship is defined and pursued entirely by Alice.

The starting of this relationship is Alice making the point that Peter doesn’t seem to treat her like someone who was “in love with her” would. The point even make more when he tried to kiss her but just ends up kissing her lightly on the cheek.

They start going to dinner because they have to eat and Alice likes having Peter along with her. At the castle, the story focuses more on Peter’s acceptance of her working as a maid (because he doesn’t understand her need to work) and his treatment of the other maids.

There is a great scene where Peter and the maids are arguing with Alice because they all want her to hit them (since they relate hitting with affection). When Peter insults the maids Alice hits him, which makes him grumpy. When she confronts him about it, he admits he wanted her to hit him for him, not to defend the maids. Peter actually understands that Alice was angry and they talk it through.

The two go to town and Peter shoots some guy for bumping into Alice. He then gets in trouble for not cleaning up the “mess” after leaving the man alive at Alice’s pleading. 

When Alice sees him later at the castle he runs from her. After a comical chance Alice gives up and sits on the ground, hitting her head lightly against the wall in frustration. Peter comes back to make sure she is ok.

He states that he suddenly felt nervous seeing her happy to see him and ran. They talk about it a bit. Alice tells him that as long as he respects her wishes, he can kiss her. They kiss. 

This is a HUGE change from the first game. 1) this kiss comes from a lead up and discussion of advancing their relationship and 2) Alice is the one who initiates it. They kiss more as the days go on, but Peter always asks first since he knows she is uncomfortable showing affection in public.

One time, when they go back to her room at the Clover Tower, Peter actually stops the kissing to talk with her about her past relationships. This is where it is revealed that he wants to kill her ex for breaking her heart, and also doesn’t really like her dad for abandoning her after her mother’s death.

It doesn’t take long after this for Alice to suggest they go on a date. This comes as such a surprise to Peter that he falls off the couch they were sitting on and goes into a panic. 

Some time passes and they go on an official date to a field to have a picnic together. Peter changes into a rabbit and they talk. Alice admits to Peter that she thinks she’s fallen in love with him. He is completely silent and changes back. Quietly, he asks if it’s ok for him to hug her (he’s asking permission still) and when she says yes she notices that he’s crying. He begs her not to run away from him. She’s not going anywhere.

But the game doesn’t end here. 

The rest of the game is them developing the relationship and dealing with the fact that Peter can’t accept Alice’s decision to keep working as a maid. She eventually asks if they should break up since he doesn’t like her job. He freaks out at this and threatens to kill the other maids if she does. They talk it through together and he relents and says he isn’t happy about her job, but won’t bring it up again.

After this nothing of too much note happens. The game ends (good ending) with them getting freaky in bed. And by that, I mean Alice says she wants to hurt him and Peter is like “yes, that sounds nice.” Then Alice says she won’t and he’s like well that wasn’t nice. And it ends with them in a relationship. 

The End.

Obviously the second game is a huge improvement on the relationship of the first game. Alice has been in Wonderland long enough to get to know the people and Peter has been friends with Alice long enough to respect her decisions. They spend more time developing their relationship in a more healthy and realistic way. I love this game.

BUT!

None of this compares to Wonderful Twin World, which is set in Country of Heart, but takes place after the end of the first game. And this game is just... amazing.

It picks up with Alice already in a relationship with whoever you choose. There is a strange storm coming that will change everyone in a random way that will end after the storm and they won’t have any recollection of what happened to them. And the whole story of this game is Alice working through the issues in whatever relationship she is in. No matter who you play, it’s great.

I particularly like Julius’ route, where Julius changes into a super affectionate man who is obsessed with Alice and acts like the boyfriend she wanted him to be. This helps her work through the fact that Julius is generally neglectful of her and doesn’t show affection often. 

Peter’s route is nice because it shows them sort of working through his anxiety of the instability of their relationship. While he starts off not worried about the storm, he goes through the steps to help Alice get more comfortable by taking her on fun dates.

When the storm comes the only change with Peter is that he can’t change into a rabbit anymore, and has no memory of being able to do so. At first he isn’t worried, but when they run into Eliot, who can now change into a rabbit, Peter’s anxieties start to show.

Alice always used Peter’s rabbit form as a way to destress after a long day (who doesn’t love cuddling a cute rabbit, right?). After having a dream where she spends time with Eliot in bunny form, she accidentally says her name in her sleep, causing Peter to spiral.

Instead of him going off the handle, they sit together and talk about his anxieties. He admits that though he is happy they are in a relationship, he doesn’t actually understand why Alice chose him. He’s constantly worried that she will change her mind. Now that he can’t become a rabbit, he wonders if she wouldn’t be happier with Eliot.

Alice handles this pretty well and tells him that she loves him for him, not just the rabbit form. And while it doesn’t fix everything, she is now aware that Peter has concerns about her feelings for him and she can make changes to improve things.

Once the storm ends Peter doesn’t remember anything that happened. The go to a church and Peter discusses his interest in getting married to Alice. She turns him down and he asks when she’ll be ready. It ends with her uncertain when that time will be.

-----

Basically, I love some healthy relationships. And I really love open conversation and respect in a relationship. The first game is somewhat excusable because it was the first game and the start of the series.

The fact that the creators improved on the relationships in the other games says a lot. 

The biggest problem I’ve always had with the first game is Alice’s unwillingness to set clear boundaries and the others willingness to just do whatever they want. That’s why I also really like Julius since he is the most adult of the lot and is too busy to treat Alice like garbage. He’s not great for a relationship because he’s so neglectful of her, but since he spends more time defining his relationship with Alice it’s fine. Basically, a relationship is fine as long as both sides set their boundaries and respect the other. This is why Twin World is amazing.

So many “dating sim” games don’t give the main character much of a personality. Alice is great that she has a personality and a clear set of standards. 

I’m not super happy of the exclusion of Peter in the remaining games and I would love to see him make a comeback now that the creators have developed further. 

The new game will be released soon and we will see if there is any conclusion to the series of not. 

So in summary: Peter in Heart --> Hot trash, Peter in Clover --> Good Bun, Peter in Twin --> Best Bun.

Rant finished, I guess.

[bombshellbois]

Mommy Issues

@harringroveweekoflove

Harringrove Week of Love Day 4: School Dance

Rating: T

Words: 1633

Summary: Steve and Billy have a philosophical discussion that they're both way too sober to have.

“Are you a Mama Bird or a Mama Bear?”

The question comes way too early in the dance when the kids are only just barely beginning to cross party lines and venture into the neutral ground that is the dance floor. Steve has only had one cup of punch and he barely spiked it because he’s trying to make the flask in his jacket pocket last. So he still feels way too sober for this brand of bullshit. 

“Hargrove,” he sighs. “We’re the only people between the ages of 16 and 40 at this dance.” He doesn’t have a follow up for that. He could end it with ‘Could you not be a dick?’ but he’s honestly not sure that’s in the cards when it’s Billy. Sure, he’s trying to be ‘better’ in some vague and unidentified way, and he is here with Steve acting as emergency chaperones for the school dance since there’s a shortage of people willing to be out after dark in this town these days. He just still doesn’t do the ‘nice’ thing. Ever. So Steve just kind of leaves the sentiment hanging and hopes Billy takes something away from it. 

“Please. You’re a 40-year-old woman at heart,” Billy scoffs, pulling a cigarette from the packet in the breast pocket of his white dress shirt. Which looks annoyingly good on him. He even buttoned it all the way up. Steve isn’t sure if that’s because of the formal setting or the scar on his chest, but the end result is the same. Billy Hargrove can absolutely pull off shirts with high collars and Steve has to live with that knowledge. “So. Are you a Mama Bird or a Mama Bear?”

“Dude, I don’t even know what that means,” Steve groans. “I’m not a mom at all.” Glorified babysitter who doesn’t actually get paid and spends more time fighting monsters than trying to monitor who’s watching a scrambled porn channel, sure. Mom? No way. 

“I saw that dish towel over your shoulder at Byers’ place. You’re a mom.” Billy looks at his cigarette like he’s really contemplating lighting it. 

“You can’t smoke in here.” Steve realizes a moment too late how that sounded, and Billy is already grinning widely. No taking that back now. 

“Yes, Mama Steve,” he says, tucking the cigarette behind his ear. 

Steve downs the rest of his punch. He’s kind of surprised that Billy remembers he was wearing a towel over his shoulder almost a year ago when he’d be hard-pressed to remember a single thing Billy was wearing that night, much less some accessory. But then again, he’s pretty sure he got a concussion that night too so… that probably has something to do with it. 

Halfway through the night, Mike and El have ventured out onto the dance floor. They’re probably a little too warm and snuggly for Hopper’s preferences but he’s been remanded to staying home and watching The Magnificent Seven again. Steve has no doubt he’s watching the clock to get a head start on beating the traffic on that 9 pm pickup time. 

Dustin and Will are huddled in the safety of the boys’ side of the gymnasium, heads together like they’re forming some kind of strategy. Except they never actually make any attempt to move or anything. Steve isn’t even sure if Dustin has permission to dance at this thing. Long-distance relationships have too many nuances and kudos to Dustin for trying one right out the gate. He’s a brave kid. 

Max and Lewis are loitering by the punch bowl and every time Max makes a vague motion towards the dance floor, Lucas appears to look around and then decline. Steve pauses in his kid check to follow one of Lucas’s covert glances to where Billy is staring the kid down from across the room. Well, that’s probably something he’s gonna have to deal with because who else is going to? 

Steve comes back to stand beside Billy, pulling the flask from his pocket and offering it up. “So… what does that stuff mean?” he asks, because he has to make conversation about something, and what do he and Billy even have to talk about that’s not horrifying? 

Billy reluctantly pulls his eyes away from where he’s glaring at Lucas. “What?”

“Bears and birds. What was that about?”

Billy takes the flask, shakes it experimentally, and pours a large amount into his cup of punch. Steve’s hopes of even getting a mild buzz to offset the pain of this whole affair drain into Billy’s cup with too much of his stash. “Christ, Harrington, didn’t you even pass the animal chapter in biology?”

This is going great. “Pretend I slept through most of it.”

Billy rolls his eyes and takes a sip from his punch. Then he empties the flask into it entirely before handing it back to Steve. “You some kind of superhero or something?”

“Sorry?” Steve tucks the empty flask back away, making a mental note to never try and share with Billy again. 

“No parents, no sleeping, chasing monsters with a fucking bat…”

“I’ve got parents.”

Billy takes a longer sip from his punch and sighs out through his nose. “You’ve got landlords. That’s what you’ve got.”

Steve takes a breath. Counts to five. Reminds himself that dealt with a Russian interrogator for longer than he’s dealt with Billy so far, and if that didn’t kill him then neither will this. And he only has to deal with him for another 90 minutes. 

“What’s the difference between a Mama Bird and a Mama Bear?” he asks again. 

Billy looks him up and down, and for a second, Steve thinks he’s going to refuse. Make some snide comment and put them right back at the place they’ve been stuck for weeks and months now, with Billy hovering around the edges of Steve’s life while trying to re-integrate himself with Max. Seems like if anything, he’s at least realized that Max is something good in his life and that he’s a little short on good things so he should probably hold onto that. 

“It’s like… a mama bear is gonna protect her kid, right? Baby bears are all cute and hikers think they can just go pet it because it’s friendly and then the mom shows up and rips them apart,” Billy says. Steve is sure he notices that Max grabs Lucas’s hand and drags him onto the dance floor, but he doesn’t comment on it, and that’s some growth right there. 

“That’s horrifying,” Steve says in a conversational tone that implies he understands and Billy should continue. 

“Where the mama bird straight up shoves her kids out of the nest so they’ll learn to fly.”

“That’s… also horrifying,” Steve says, in a new tone that implies that… that’s horrifying. “Mama birds are assholes.”

“You gotta show the kids the door sometime, or they’ll sit in the nest forever and eventually starve when winter comes,” Billy says, like that somehow makes it less terrible. Send a kid plummeting towards the ground to teach them to leave home? Nest. Whatever. 

“Well, I wanna be the bear then.” 

Billy looks him over, a look on his face that Steve can’t for the life of him decipher. “Yeah. You are a Mama Bear, aren’t you? You chase all the monsters away.”

Steve shrugs. “I mean, I’m not gonna leave that up to Dustin. Have you ever seen him swing anything? That kid is a goalie at best.” And not a great goalie either. Passable, but he’s definitely not someone you trust with hitting anything. 

“What happens when the monsters come and Mama Steve left for college?” Billy presses. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Steve has a stack of college rejection letters that speak to that, but Billy doesn’t need to know that. But he’s also stopped applying because one, he’s not smart enough to get in. Obviously. And two, seriously, none of these kids can get any power behind a swing. Someone with a decent batting average has to be around. “You talk like you’d rather throw a kid off a ledge and hope for the best.”

“Yeah, because that’s how you find out if they’re gonna make it,” Billy says, taking another swig from his punch. 

Steve doesn’t think that’s remotely true. Billy is no bird, even if he’d like to be. He did a lot of damage overstepping every boundary ever while he was trying to keep an eye on Max, and maybe he’s scared of doing it again. Maybe. They don’t exactly talk about stuff like fear and emotions. Or much of anything unless they’re really bored and forced to make conversation because they’re stuck around a bunch of kids. Conversations like this feel like poking the surface of a lake with a stick and trying to guess where the deep parts are.

Steve kind of wants to ask if Billy was once the baby bird in this weird National Geographic metaphor they have going. He doesn’t because he thinks he knows the answer and he also thinks that Billy will probably take a swing at him if he pokes. They’re not there yet, and Steve hasn’t figured out if they’re heading there or not. 

“Well I know they’re gonna make it,” Steve says, taking Billy's cup of punch and draining it because he really needs at least a bare-bones burn down the back of his throat to finish this conversation. “Because I’m gonna be here.”

Billy eyes him, but he doesn’t argue. Eventually, he just scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Whatever. But I’m kicking all of these brats out of Hawkins when they go to college. We’re not staying in this hick monster town forever.” 

Now that is a level of Mama Bird that Steve can work with. “Deal.”