#arent cups different
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vegan chocolate cake
figured id share my fav recipe for a very simple & easy vegan chocolate cake, thats nice and moist and very quick to make:
recipe is in german, heres the translation:
ingredients:
250gr flour,
2-3 tsp baking poweder
3 tbsp cacao poweder
180gr sugar
1 tsp vanille extract (oh)
250ml water
100ml neutral oil
heat oven to 180°C upper and lower heat, or 160°C circulating air, grease a 20cm cake pan
mix flour, baking poweder and cacao
add the remaining ingredients
mix until u get a liquid batter
pour in pan, bake for 35min., check if its done with a knife or toothpick
personally i dump all ingredients in the bowl at once and start mixing cuz i dont wanna bother. the cake will be too low for a 30cm pan, so double the recipe if u got that
#recipe#cake#no eggs no milk#its perf#yeah there are vegan recipes with plant milk and shit#but i keep those rarely at home#and water is free#and this doesnt need eggs at all#i made this cake like 6 times the last few months and its always yummy#and i timed and i can prep it in 2 MINUTES which is amazing#ovens not even warm yet but its so great#2min of work and like 40min of waiting and tada! cake#so good#idk what that is in cups i use a scale its way easier?#how much is a cup#arent cups different#200ml maybe? but how much gr but density aaaaa
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Guy Business and Suction Cup Man icons because i . love them .
#piemations#suction cup man#guy business#guy business suction cup man#they were made at different times so thats why they arent like EVEN even#but anyway#here they are owu
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also.... when will people admit it is SO much harder to win the stanley cup now than it was in the 1960s....... kjfdsfklsdjklf LIKE
#literally THE hardest thing to do these days it feels like. just watching full seasons of hockey#n ppl wanting their team to achieve its former glory. im sorry but there arent just Six Teams anymore lkJFKDS#like it was a different game back then but even if you ignore that aspect . there was LESS COMPETITION ALL AROUND.#AND if we want to talk abt complaining abt the leafs structure.......#leafs fans alive today.. who were born in the 70s/80s/90s... n have been lifelong fans..#have never seen them win as much as this current core has. like just sheer game-to-game wins... top 4 most winning seasons are all w them#like. ignore the playoffs for a minute bc whether they won 3 rounds or 1 round. its not the stanley cup n thats all ppl reduce it to anyway#like if the leafs had a second round curse or a conference final curse. it wouldnt matter to the fanbase bc its not a cup#yk what im saying#anyway.#its all just interesting...... justttt interesting#the goal posts constantly shift when ppl are trying to shit on them abt every little thing but like.#idk.... maybe have a little faith. just Maybe#the caps fans literally sat there forever waiting for a cup with their core like. u can chill just a bit#yes it sucks but. why are u not trying to have fun... its the pessimism. when ppls 'hobbies' become reasons for them to feel pessimistic li#for ur own sake. why are u here bubs
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media analysis or just . SPEAKING about it for that matter on tiktok is so abhorrent it literally is making me infuriated
#IM LITERALLY FUMING RNN my sibling told me that its okay i should calm down bc#people ontiktok arent real/the reading comprehension is horrible#BUT LIKE. FOR EXAMPLE#THIS GUY WHO TURNED HIS COMMENTS OFF ON HIS RANT ABT ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT#I WIL NEVER GET THOSE MINUTES OF MY LIF EBACK AND FOR WHATT#HIS ARGUMENT WAS THAT IT WAS 'BASICALLY LIKE ALL OTHER WAR FILMS' AND#AND I FUCKING QUOTE#'WAS GUT PUNCH AFTER GUT PUNCH. AND WHEN YOU REALIZE THIS IS ABOUT REAL PEOPLE IT MAKES YOU SADDER'#LIKE??ITS A FUCKING WAR FILM???#WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? THEM TO BE FROLICKING IN FIELDS ??#THATS THE POINT!! IT SHOWS YOU HOW MEANINGLESS FUCKING FIGHTING TURNS PEOPLE INTO SHELLS OF THEMSELVES#AND FOR WHAT? FOR MEN WHO DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEIR LIVES?#ITS JUST SHEDDING BLOOD FOR NO GOOD REASON ITS FIGHTING OTHER MEN TAKING THE SAME ORDERS AS YOU BUT JUST FROM A DIFFERENT MAN#YOU ALL WANT TO GO HOME!! YOU ALL WANT TO GO HOME#BUT YOU CANT . ok im done yelling but#thats the point. youre SUPPOSED to witness this and feel horrible and self reflect#if its not your cup of tea? thats fine. theres plenty of other media to enjoy#but when you make baseless critics and then refuse to believe youre wrong its. its just?? i dunno#also saw this w nope but dont even get me STARTED !!
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Blizzard just made their WoW Kobolds attractive for the next expansion and I don't know how to feel about it
#I am weirdly attracted to these rat men now#I think they were always badass silly guys#'you no take candle!'#and now it's like... Damn. I won't take candle sir...#it's cool but at the same time they dont look like kobolds#but that's okay. that's just the direction the arts goin to and#it's not everyone's cup of tea. i personally like it#but it's nothing like classic wow. or vanilla-cata-even mop#once they started updating models in WoD I feel like the updates dont have the#same charm as the originals. but that's just my thing#i do find these kobold men attractive tho (im goin to hell)#but they arent the kobolds i've always known and loved#like i like them both but yeah. two complteely different games and time frames and art teams and art directions#and art styles
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Everyone who's read it (and even those who have not) should listen to this album btw. It's intended to be a fan-made soundtrack for the comic book, and Don Rosa himself provided the art for the album cover.
It was my literal lifeline for the entire year after it was released and I will be forever grateful for its existence
#hell my url was directly taken from the lyrics from one of its songs lol#someone drop a link to read the full comic book please please please please please pleas#i remember reading the first few chapters online and i never got to actually finish it#also it was written/produced by nightwish's songwriter so if (for whatever ungodly reason) nightwish or power metal arent your cup of tea;#you should still give it a chance. it's got a pretty different sound#comics
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what would you do for love?
exboyfriend!rafe cameron x exgirlfriend!reader
— in which y/n spirals into a possessive obsession over her ex-boyfriend rafe. she quietly pulls the strings from the shadows, creating accidents, bribing others, and doing whatever it takes to maintain control—believing she is the only one truly capable of loving him.
warnings: dark!reader, rafe being the love quinn to readers joe goldberg i fear, or is reader delusional? world may never know !!
authors note: i couldnt help myself in writing this, ill write for waking up to you immediately soon LMAO, but i do have class today so it may be delayed even longer. if u arent part of the tag list, feel free to lmk thru replies, anons, dms, or reblogs !! notifications are always on <3
previous
you flinch when you hear the sharp shatter of glass nearby, some bottle smashing against the wall. a group of guys, mostly drunk and reckless, laughing as the shards scatter. your eyes roll somewhere else, anywhere else, away from the noise, the chaos.
you’ve been lingering around the same group for too long, and you need something new, something to distract you, pull you into a different space.
your shoes scuff against the concrete as you walk, weaving through people like you’re on autopilot, not really paying attention to where you’re headed until you catch sight of something—a fold-out table tennis table being hauled out of the back of someone’s beat-up van.
you almost laugh, but stas, your friend, is already there, pushing some guy off of her and reaching for you when she spots you walking by.
“y/n, you have to play!” she shouts, her voice a little too loud over the music, excitement making her words slur slightly. she pulls at your arm, trying to drag you into whatever drinking game they’re about to start. beer pong, flip cup, it doesn’t really matter. you’ve already had enough.
your head swims as she pulls you closer to the group, and you shake your head, gently pulling away. “i’ll watch,” you mutter, but stas barely hears you, already distracted by the table being set up.
stas keeps talking, about what? you don’t know, because you’re not listening anymore. her words turn into background noise as your eyes trail off somewhere else. across the way, your other friend shaw has set up his makeshift dj booth, some way for everyone to hear something rather than just screams, chants, and talking the whole time.
it’s not much of a dance floor, more of an invisible line where people stand around, swaying and talking, their heads bobbing to the beat. a few are bold enough to move in closer, letting the music take over, but most are just hanging out.
and there, right in the middle of it, you spot her. sofia.
her hips sway as she leads rafe toward the music, her hand wrapped around his, holding it above her head like she’s pulling him into some private little world. she’s got a drink in her other hand, laughing as she moves, carefree in a way that makes your stomach tighten.
rafe is smiling, but not at her. not really. you see the moment he catches sight of shaw behind the dj booth, the way he briefly pulls his attention away from sofia, stepping toward shaw to greet him. sofia, left without rafe’s guiding hand, stumbles for a second—just a second—but it’s enough. it’s like watching a baby take its first steps. cute, if you cared.
you don’t.
instead, your lips curl slightly. you glance over at stas, who’s still chattering about god knows what, oblivious to where your mind’s gone.
“shaw’s been eyeing you lately,” you say casually, tossing the lie out like it’s nothing. stas stops mid-sentence, blinking at you like she’s processing it. she turns her head to look at shaw, her grip on your arm tightening slightly.
you can practically feel her swallow, the way her expression shifts into something unreadable, and she tugs on your arm. “i wanna dance now,” she says, voice flat, but you can feel the pulse of urgency behind it.
perfect.
she pulls you with her, cutting across the skatepark toward the music, dragging you closer to where rafe and sofia are. no questions asked, and you let her lead.
you weave your way behind stas as you move to the rhythm of the music just enough to blend in. your body moves without thought, hips swaying as the heavy bass pounds through the skatepark.
stas releases your hand once she’s right in front of the makeshift booth, standing on her tiptoes and gripping the edge of the table, leaning in to talk to shaw. her voice is high, maybe a little slurred.
you gnaw on your bottom lip, stepping back for a moment, trying to make space for yourself. that’s when you feel it—someone bumping into you. the contact is light, unintentional, but it snaps you out of your daze. you spin around quickly, ready to apologize, but the words freeze in your throat the second you see who it is.
sofia’s standing right in front of you, staring back with a soft, almost shy smile, her lips parted as if she’s about to say something—probably an apology too.
she doesn’t know who you are, doesn’t recognize you, doesn’t have a clue.
you take her in, your eyes scanning her from head to toe. “cute dress,” you say, the words slipping out with a smile that never quite reaches your eyes. it’s polite enough, but there’s a sharp edge, a venom she doesn’t seem to catch.
sofia beams at the compliment, completely oblivious. she’s sweet, sure. her niceness, her smile—it’s all so carefully curated, like it’s been drilled into her.
the way she smiles up at you, so clueless, so unaffected. it almost makes you want to laugh.
you stand there for a split second longer, savoring the moment before stas calls your name, tugging on your arm, pulling you back toward the booth. you let yourself be dragged away, but not before stealing one last glance at sofia.
stas pulls you along behind the booth, and shaw greets you with that easy smile of his. without hesitation, you throw your arms around him, squeezing him tight. it makes you laugh the moment you let go. stas is right in the middle of it all, her laughter joining yours. shaw switches the track, a new beat pulsing through the speakers, and the three of you dissolve into your own little bubble, wrapped up in the party.
but sofia—well, she hasn’t moved far.
you can feel her eyes on you, lingering, like she’s trying to piece something together in her head. something about you must not sit right with her, something off. maybe it’s the way you looked at her earlier, or maybe it’s just that gut feeling people get when they sense danger but can’t quite place where it’s coming from.
she keeps watching you for a second longer, her expression faltering. she’s trying to convince herself there’s nothing to worry about, that you’re just some random girl at the party. after all, you complimented her dress, right? you even smiled—so what’s the harm?
but the crowd around her is thick now, people pressing in from all sides, dancing, shouting, moving like they own the night. she’s swallowed by the chaos. you see her hesitate, her movements more uncertain, her eyes darting around like she’s looking for an escape. and that’s when her gaze finally breaks from you—she’s searching for him.
you watch her weave through the crowd, her small frame almost lost in the mass of bodies, that anxious look in her eyes growing. she’s trying to keep calm, to pretend she’s not bothered, but it’s written all over her face.
the smugness spreads through you again, sinking deeper.
and then you see him.
rafe moves through the crowd with ease, his eyes landing on sofia immediately. he slips an arm around her shoulders like it’s second nature, his voice low as he probably asks if she’s alright. sofia nods, but you can see it—she’s unsettled.
and you? you just keep watching, your gaze fixed on them, every part of you relishing the control you hold over the situation without even lifting a finger.
then you hear it—some girl’s laugh from near the skate drop-ins. it pulls your attention away from sofia and rafe for a second, and you spot her almost immediately. you don’t know her, but she’s crouched near the concrete, spraycan in hand, adding some half-assed tag to the wall. her laugh is carefree, like she’s proud of her work, like it means something.
but your eyes trail away from her, settling on something else, something familiar in the mess of graffiti scrawled across the concrete.
blue spray paint. initials. r and s.
it should mean nothing, right? just random letters like all the other tags scattered around this place. but no, you know better. the handwriting—it’s too familiar, too practiced, almost like a signature you’ve memorized without ever really trying.
did you do this, rafe?
the thought sends a wave of bitter amusement through you, twisting your lips into something resembling a smile, but one that’s more cold than kind.
r and s.
simple. stupid, even. but it’s not. you know better. it’s rafe, leaving his mark, tying himself to sofia in a way that’s so casual it makes you sick.
and worse? he did it without you noticing.
it’s not about the letters themselves. it’s about what they mean. this isn’t just some random graffiti. no, this is a declaration—small and hidden enough to go unnoticed by anyone else, but not you. never you.
your mind convinces you that he’s playing with you, testing how much you’re paying attention, how closely you’re watching. and of course, you’re always watching.
really, rafe?
the thought burns as it settles in your chest. rafe cameron—practically born with a spotlight above his head—has the nerve to blend in when he wants to, to pull something like this off without you even seeing it happen. it’s impressive, really. he did this when your guard was down. when you weren’t watching.
you imagine him, crouched by the wall, glancing over his shoulder, making sure you weren’t looking. the thought twists something in your chest.
when did he do it?
when you were busy pretending not to care?
when your eyes were somewhere else for once?
he’s smooth, you’ll give him that. it’s a reminder, subtle but sharp, that he can always be a step ahead, always just out of reach when you think you’ve got him cornered.
you stand up straighter, licking your lips as that familiar bitterness floods you. the ownership, the jealousy, it all wraps tight around your gut. yeah, he’s got skills, huh? skills you didn’t give him enough credit for. he might be running around with her, playing his little game, but he’s still yours.
you smile, but it’s empty, more a grimace than anything else. it’s almost funny, really. the whole thing. r and s, like that’s supposed to matter. like it could ever really mean something.
it won’t last, and you’ll be here when it falls apart, picking up the pieces like you always do. because that’s the truth, isn’t it?
no matter where he runs or who he tries to hide behind, he always comes back to you.
he just doesn’t know it yet.
tags: @iissza @lotuslovers @obsessionsarenotfortheweak @yootvi @skyslowalking @ariiwritess @beebeerockknot @hoelesslyt @enchantinglovergirl @katekells @maybankslover @icaqttt @xcinnamonmalfoyx
#rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe fanfic#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#drew#drew starkey#drew starkey concept#drew starkey smut#drew starkey x you#drew starkey fic#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey fanfiction#— ✃ what woukd you do for love?
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jealously
billy the kid x cowgirl!reader |during a party for the house, you catch girls flirting with billy and can't stand it, little do you know, billy feels the same way when he finds you talking to one of the members|
you suck your gums once more as you rest the rim of the cup on your chin, swaying as you stare daggers at the girl who won't leave billy fucking alone
first, out of nowhere in the street, then at poker, and now at this stupid fucking party.
Mrs. Riley dared to doe her eyes and flutter her lashes as billy shifted uncomfortably
"you're very good-looking, billy..can we go somewhere?"
billys eyes drift to yours and you can't take it anymore as you turn down the hallway
you arent together, you aren't exclusive, and you've never talked about being something more..things just happened and clothes were forgotten about as mindless kissing turned into nightly fucking.
you downed another whiskey as the house chattered, dying to distract yourself as your gang drunkenly laughed by the make-shift bar and you decide to join them
as your head tilts back to slam more shots than you can count, you feel a hand rub your hip.
"now I think that's enough for you, cowgirl!" Jesse cheers, and you roll your eyes, hand swiping for the whiskey he stole from you while you stumble back, subconsciously hoping that was a different hand on your hip...
you drink and cheer with your gang as you sway deeper into the night deciding to forget about your troubles
"Y/n can I talk to you?" you barely hear his voice from the yelling around you, but you turn to see billy with a solemn expression
"you can talk right here" you tell him, reaching for another drink but billy softly grabs your hand
"nah, not right here..." he mumbles, you turn and he's about to lead you down the hallway when Jesse snatches your arm
"hey man, what's your issue?" Jesse questions, feeding you more liquor but billy slaps the glass away from you
"why don't you let go of her fuckin' arm?" he asks, protectively standing in front of you once Jesse lets his hand fall
"didn't know shit was like that, man" he says with his palms out, you suddenly sober up as the entire situation hit you and you're dragging billy to the nearest bathroom to fucking scream
you slam the door but it's barely audible from the music yelling outside, you turn to him as he stumbles toward you
"what the fuck was that?"
billy looks confused as you practically shake with anger
"those men out there just lost the little respect they had for me" you feel your insides boil as he starts to understand
"no one saw" he shakes his head and you push his chest
"what? no one has fuckin' mouths anymore? now I'm your little fuckin' thing to screw" your entire body is hot as you scream at him, he doesn't meet your eyes as he seems pissed himself
"then why you lettin' his hand roam all over you?" he spits you feel your chest cave in
"are you seriously gonna call me a whore for a hand on the hip? really billy?" you say through gritted teeth, he reaches for you but you move away
"no, no that's not what I meant" he quickly corrects himself but you're done with him, thinking maybe he saw you as something more than just a slut
you open the door but he shuts it before you can leave, you turn and see he's only a few inches away
"I'd never think that about you...ever" he whispers, sincerity all over his tongue as his eyes almost water with honesty and you take a lip in before you admit something yourself
"I thought it was you" you mumbled, you watched his brows furrow and you quickly added,
"I thought you were grabbin' on me...when I saw it was Jesse I backed up."
"shit...I'm sorry...that's all I saw until she pulled me away-"
you interrupt him with a scoff, knowing immediately that she was Irene
"I can't stand that woman, callin' you an outlaw like it's some sexy shit. fuckin' piece of work." you look up to see billy laughing at you
"what?" you feel your face glow as he cups one of your cheeks,
"are you jealous of her?" he asks, a cocky smile on his lips as you scoff once more
"you were jealous of a hand"
"hey, that hand didn't have a ring on it!" he quickly defends
"yeah, well after that outburst the whole town probably knows we're screwin'" you mumble
"maybe that's a good thing" billy adds, you stare up at him as he brushes your lower lip
"I want people to know you're mine and I'm yours" he whispers, you feel your heart quicken as the air around you stills
"...I want that too, billy" you barely mumble out as he dips down to kiss you softly
you can't stop smiling as his lips sweetly lap over yours, knowing that sneaking him into your room nightly wasn't just fucking, it was lovemaking.
an: ily guys so much! thank you thank you thank you for 400 followers!!! mwah!! <333
#billy the kid#coriolanus x reader#the hunger games#tom blyth#ballad of songbirds and snakes#billy the kid x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow x reader#the hunger games imagine#billy the kid 2022#kid antrim#william bonney#william h bonney x reader#tom blyth x you#tom blyth fanfiction#tom blyth imagine#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus x you#coriolanus snow#president snow#coryo#tbosbas#coryo snow#coriolanus snow x you#thg series#the hunger games fanfiction#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games rp#the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes
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like it (h. hj)
"a no-label relationship, how thrilling can it be?" | cover preview ׂ╰➤ hwang hyunjin x reader (ft jay, jake and jungwon from enhypen, chan, seungmin, jisung, minho) genre angst, toxic relationship, reader has long hair, toxic LAWL, aruging crying kissing in the rain (we love to see it), reader enjoys photography w/c 17.2k warnings toxic relationships (ig), arguments, manipulative, aggressive kissing (gasp!), a lot of kissing (I HOPE I DID OKAY FOR THE KISSING SCENES), hyunjin is possessive, hyunjin invades reader's privacy, hyunjin takes things without permission, hickies, slightly suggestive ig?, occurrence where the reader gets harassed/assaulted physically, fighting, cheating, THERE IS MORE BUT ILL UPDATE WHEN I WAKE UP COS I JUST WANNA POST THIS ASAP, semi-proofread
a/n finally, the fic is out! it came out later than expected, and i apologise to yall for that. this is the first long fic i've ever written and ive learnt that long fics arent for me LOL. cringed so much writing this, i literally have a love-hate relationship with this, but i seriously hope yall enjoy this because i spent so much time on it. likes comments and reblogs are appreciated, and once again so sorry it took so long!
now playing i like it - stray kids
It was getting dark outside — the sun slowly setting, roads having slight traffic due to it being a little after peak hour, and your window blinds were closed, your living room being dimly lit from the lamp on the table and the ceiling light that was barely working.
"Don't tell me you're still going out with Jay?"
You finished tying your hair up in a ponytail before averting your gaze to Hyunjin, an expression of grimace on your face. He was resting on your couch, legs were in a manspread, his arms crossed and his head thrown back on the cushion. He returned the sour expression and all you could do was turn your head back to the mirror to touch up on your make-up, picking up the different brushes.
"Why can't I?" you retorted back, your annoyance towards him gradually growing as you start to dab the brush on your face, focusing on the small details. You two just had an argument moments before, a big reason was because you had plans with other males — well, just one, your best friend, Jay. You two also bickered about other small things, nitpicking each other’s small habits, and it all led to this.
"Because I'm here?" He sat up on the couch, his posture straightening as he locked his gaze onto you, his eyes showing fury as you remained unphased, putting down your brush and holding up your eyebrow pencil, drawing over your eyebrows. His sentiment sounded contemptuous, but this wasn't your first rodeo with him.
"Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?" you taunted, clearly not intimidated by him as you fully turned your body to face him. The corner of his mouth curled up, raising his eyebrows as he set himself up from the couch, walking towards you until he was in front of you. Considering you were seated, you had to tilt your neck upwards to maintain eye contact with him, your eyes showing no remorse towards him.
"What will I do?" He leaned forward, his face mere inches away from yours. On the outside, you remained nonchalant about it, but on the inside it felt like your heart was going to burst out. "What do you think I'm going to do?" he threw the question at you, and you could feel your heart skip a beat. The way you two were holding eye contact so intensely made your eyes linger over his lips, admiring how plump and captivating it looked, and it didn't go unnoticed.
He leaned in, smashing his lips onto yours with no warning and you gasped. He took the chance to slip his tongue inside your mouth, two of your muscles dancing strongly against each other with strong passion. You closed your eyes and your hands slowly wrapped around his neck. His hands cupped your jaw, manually tilting your head so he could gain more access to your mouth. The passion in the kiss was so evident and it fueled the fact that you both despise yet yearn for each other so much. You slowly felt as if you were running out of breath, so your hands snake down to his chest and you attempt to push him back, but your attempt is fruitless.
This only made him kiss you more aggressively, and this was a way of expressing his frustrations and jealousy to you, since you obviously didn't want to obey him. You gradually started to feel light-headed, and he finally pulled back from the kiss, his forehead resting on yours as he looked at you with the same fury in his eyes. You panted, desperate to catch your breath as you could physically feel your heart racing. His gaze averted to your lips and he chuckled at the sight of your red lipstick being smudged, bringing his fingers up to smudge your lipstick even more.
"Forget Jay, Y/N. How could you think about him when I'm right in front of you?" his eyes softened and he pleaded, causing a pang of guilt to hit your heart. You released a sigh, your hands falling back down to your sides as you leaned back from him, looking around the room to avoid eye contact with him. "I'll cancel, okay?" you muttered, feeling guilty for making Hyunjin feel that way, as well as for cancelling plans with Jay extremely last minute.
You and Jay originally had plans to go see a movie, and you had been looking forward to it for a week, but guess things just don't go accordingly sometimes.
Upon hearing that you'd cancel, his face lit up and a wide grin spread across his face. He brought you into an embrace, his broad frame perfectly wrapping around yours as you nuzzled your face into his neck, enjoying his warmth.
“Thank you, baby,” he mumbled, hugging you tighter and you shook your head.
“I’m still mad at you,” you replied and he only laughed it off.
You felt so complete with him, so many moments when you wanted to rip your hair out because of him but it always ended up like this. Always ended up in his arms, and no one else.
"You signed up too?!" you exclaimed, nearly choking on your food as you kept your focus on the boy in front of you. Jay lightly grinned at your reaction and nodded his head. Loud chatters fill the cafeteria as you stared at the boy in front of you with a wide grin. Bliss filled you as you processed that you wouldn't be alone in the photography club; it's always nice to have someone familiar around.
"I didn't know you were into photography too, Y/N!" he chuckled, taking a bite out of his sandwich afterwards and glancing at you. You were so excited to finally have a mate that you could talk about photography with. Even if he was your friend for a while, you never knew he had the same interest as you. You were experienced with it, having bought your own camera a little while ago and playing around with it whenever you had free time. Unfortunately,
"Yeah! I actually bought my own digital camera a while ago but I recently lost it.."
Jay pouted upon hearing the news, sharing the sorrow you felt when you first realised you had lost it. "But it's okay! They provide cameras in the club, don't they?" you added on, lightening up the mood.
Jay chuckled and nodded, admiring how you could quickly light the mood up. You took another bite of your meal, munching it down and took a sip of your chocolate milk from the plastic straw.
"Actually, I've already been in the club for a while, I could introduce you to a few of the members right now if you want?" he offered, and your eyes instantly lit up, your face leaning closer to his. "Seriously?! Right now?! You would do that?" you jubilantly expressed, feeling euphoria run through your veins. Jay gave you a small smile and nodded, and you stood up from your chair immediately, creating a loud dragging sound from your chair which caught the attention of a few others in the cafeteria, but you could care less.
"Let's go now then!" you exclaimed, taking Jay's wrist with your left hand and your right hand still holding your half-eaten burger. Jay looked surprised at your excitement, but went along with it regardless. He was more than happy to lead you to the club room. On the way you kept telling Jay about your experiences with photography, and he shared some of his experiences too, helping you to realise that Jay was really interesting as well.
"Well, here we are!" Jay stood in front of a door, glancing at you and realising you had the brightest expression on your face. He chuckled at the sight of you being so eager and he nodded at you, opening the door and gesturing for you to enter first. You slightly bowed and mumbled a small 'thank-you' before stepping in and realising how the room was filled with about 5 people. All of them were new faces, or so you thought.
"Hey guys, we have a new member!" Jay stepped in and closed the door after himself, glancing between at his club mates and at you, flashing you a welcoming smile. From the way he spoke, you could somewhat tell that he was already close with the members, and it reassured you since it would be easier for you to make friends through him. You looked at each person one by one, noticing how each of them were at their own individual spots and giving them a friendly smile until you looked at the last person.
Hyunjin.
And he was holding the camera you mentioned about, angled at the corner of the room closest to him. The one you had lost.
"Oh?" Hyunjin said, his tone sounding amused as he eyed you up and down. You looked at him with widened eyes, not expecting him to be here out of all people. You cleared your throat and averted your gaze away from him, feeling his eyes burn a hole on you from his intense gaze. It was true you and Hyunjin had something, but you two never revealed it in public.
"Do you know her, Hyunjin?" Jay questioned, your sudden awkward behaviour not going unnoticed. Hyunjin smirked and raised his hands up as if he were surrendering, "Who knows?". You bit your lip, feeling uncomfortable at this situation and feeling like anyone would be able to infer that you and Hyunjin had something, but your thoughts were interrupted by Jay's laugh.
"You're scaring the poor girl, at least be more welcoming," Jay laughed out and walked over to the side of a boy who had silky straight hair, his hair slightly over his eyebrows and partially covering his eyes, and a black hoodie nicely fitting over his torso. You formed eye contact with the boy and he flashed you a small smile, a dimple forming on one side of his cheeks.
"Y/N, this is Jungwon, the president" Jay gestured to Jungwon, and Jungwon slightly bowed down. "Hi Y/N! I remember seeing your name in the list; just didn't expect to be seeing you so soon!" he spoke, his voice sounding like honey. He extended his arm for a handshake, and you nervously walked towards him and took his hand, firmly shaking it. You were slightly taken aback to how casual Jay was with the president of the club.
"Hi Jungwon! Nice to meet you!" you greeted him. You felt as if you were walking on eggshells, knowing very well that Hyunjin was watching your every move, and you were familiar with his outbursts after seeing you interact with other males. After the handshake with Jungwon, you quickly pulled your hand back and fidgeted with your fingers, already imagining the argument with Hyunjin in your head.
Jay helped to introduce to the rest, initiating friendly small-talk and helping you to getting to know the members. They were all pretty friendly and lovely people to get to know.
As you reached the last person, Hyunjin, you formed eye contact with him, biting your lip as the tension between the two of you became increasingly unbearable.
"Y/N, this is Hyunjin, and Hyunjin this is Y/N!" Jay introduced. You felt a lump in your throat, suddenly losing the ability to talk.
"Hello, Y/N. Nice meeting you," he extended his hand and flashed a smirk, his gaze on your hand and waiting for you to take his. You cleared your throat and nervously raised your hand up to take his hand until the loud school bell rang. While everyone else looked at the clock or at their wrists for the watch, you immediately pulled your hand down. Hyunjin watched you and slowly put his hand down.
While everybody else was distracted by the school bell and packing up their belongings to head to the next class, Hyunjin took the chance to lean to your ear and whisper, "Meet you after school".
You stumbled back, a shiver running down your spine and you were aggressively shaking your head and shooting a glare at him until he raised his occupied hand. The hand that was holding your camera.
"Unless you don't want this?" he mouthed, not voicing anything out.
You scoffed and scowled at him, giving him a single nod before turning your back on him to leave the classroom. Your eyes immediately met Jay's and you both started to converse while leaving, knowing that you two share the next class.
"Like Jay more than me?" he shot out, swinging the straps of your digital camera as he walked. You walked beside him, keeping your eyes on the camera to make sure he didn't accidentally drop it and he suddenly came to a halt, catching you off-guard and almost causing you to slip.
It was currently late evening, considering that your school ended later than usual today. You and Hyunjin were walking around in a more secluded area in the city that was still near the school, the place being dimly lit and fewer people being present.
Suddenly his body fully turned to yours, his hand lifting your chin up so you could look at him. Your eyes widened as you realised what he was doing, forming eye contact but remaining completely still.
"I asked you a question, darling."
You blinked your eyes at him in confusion, not realising that he had actually asked you a question after cautiously watching your camera that he was holding. You stuttered, "Huh? What? What question?".
"Do you like Jay more than me?" he questioned once more, his face darkening as he stared into your eyes and leaned closer. You gulped, wanting to jump off the earth as you immediately closed your eyes as the proximity increased. The weight of the question hung heavily in the air as the silence grew to be more unbearable. You slowly opened your eyes and were expecting to be met with an angry expression, but you are met with the opposite.
His eyes looked sad, and his eyebrows furrowed upwards. Your heart broke at his expression and you finally answered.
"No."
"Really?" his face lit up, his eyes blinking at you in elatedness. You were shocked to see that he wasn't angry or asking it repeatedly for reassurance but you weren't complaining. "Yeah. I like you more than Jay," you stated.
He flashed you a warm smile and cupped your cheeks, placing a soft kiss on your lips which caught you off-guard. It was almost a switch inside him flipped and he was happy all of a sudden. You felt as your heart started beating in a frantic rhythm, and blood started rushing to your face. You started to feel nervous and you flashed him an awkward smile, avoiding eye contact afterwards.
"Tell me more!" he leaned backwards, still looking at you. "Am I more handsome than him? More attractive?" he continued, clearly wanting your validation and you honestly found his jealousy adorable.
"Yes, you're more handsome than him, okay?" you reassured him, the warmth in your heart growing as your gaze went back to him. You took the time to notice his attire, his straight curtain hair parted into two different sections and a few strands of hair over his eyebrows. His looped silver earrings and necklace nicely complemented his skin tone, and his strong perfume filled the air.
He seemed overjoyed at your response, clearly wanting to hear more. "Am I the only guy in your life?".
Oh.
You blinked at him, slightly taken-aback to his sudden question. Was he the only guy in your life? I mean, technically yes, from how you two acted, but you two never.. had a label. You wanted to agree to his question, but you were reluctant. You answered back with a question, "Are you? You tell me."
He chuckled at your response before pecking your forehead and letting go of your face.
"Let's go."
You looked at him, feeling confused to where he meant but he took your wrist and started dragging you. "Where are we going?" you questioned, feeling genuinely clueless but he continued to drag you, not looking back to answer you.
"Nowhere."
You ended up in the subway with him, walking around the station as you both waited for the train to come. Your hand was interlocked with his, your arms swinging back and forth. There weren't a lot of people since it was starting to be late and the day after was still a weekday. You wanted to ask him so many things, like — when did he take your camera? When did he join the photography club? Since when did he actually know Jay?
"What are you thinking about?" he questioned, breaking your train of thought and causing you to gain back consciousness and look back at him. He had a soft expression, sincerity evident in his voice as he softly grinned at you.
"I have a lot of questions about today."
"Oh yeah? Spit."
"You had my camera the entire time?" you shot out the first question that had been at the back of your head for the entire day after you saw him in the club room. You were happy that your camera was with someone you knew, but you were confused about how he even got it. Sad too, that he practically stole it from you.
"Yeah. Took it while you weren't looking when I came over," he confessed, his tone showing no guilt or remorse. "So.. you deliberately took it without asking me?" "I guess so."
You weren't surprised, you were already used to this, just slightly upset that he didn't tell you first.
"But why?" you asked the part you've been eager to hear the most. "I wanted to make sure there weren't other guys."
'Is that so?' you thought to yourself.
"So did you find any other guys?" you asked. You knew you didn't have any photos of other guys in your camera, but you wanted to hear his response. "You're in the clear," he tilted his head upwards, giving you a downwards smile and his hair fell down to his temples from his forehead. "Must be fun invading my privacy, huh?" you wried, but at the same time you felt thrilled at the thought that he was being possessive.
He simply laughed at your comment, feeling guilty about your statement. He asked, "Shoot more questions, bet 'ya have more".
"You were in the photography club?" "Yeah." "Why didn't you tell me?" "You never asked."
Fair point.
You sighed at his comment, now realising that you don't know much about Hyunjin but it was a stark contrast when it came to Hyunjin's knowledge about you. It felt almost as if he knew everything about you, and it made you feel so vulnerable to him.
"You knew Jay?" you asked the final question.
Hyunjin hummed, indicating he was thinking before he nodded.
"You never told me you and him knew each other personally." "Once again.. you never aske—" "I know that, but you could've just said a simple 'Oh, him and I are club mates' or whatever."
You thought that Hyunjin only knew Jay because you brought up Jay multiple times and that you and him hung out in school. Jay and Hyunjin knowing each other personally was the last thing you expected, especially in a photography club.
"Well, now you know."
The train arrived, the sounds of the train railing in filling up the atmosphere in the train platform. You glanced at Hyunjin and he nodded, both of you walking at one of the doors where the train would open.
Both of you sat in the train, talking to each other and resting on each other. With your hand interlocked with his, his thumb slowly caressed yours and you felt at ease with him, forgetting about all of the relatioship's toxicity. Time passed by, both of you just sitting in the train accompanied by each other's presence as the train stopped at every stop, the cabins slowly emptying out as it became later.
There was endless chatter, laughter and bickering and before you realised, your train eventually reached the last station, the clock already striking past midnight. It was already time to go home since it was a school night, and you two had classes to attend to the following day.
Before you two parted ways, he spoke up, "Hey, about my question, what's your answer?". You flashed a perplexed look, trying to recall what question he had asked.
Oh, that question. You took a few seconds to think about it, feeling like your answer weighed heavily and required sincerity, possibly impacting whatever relationship you had with him.
Am I the only guy in your life?
"Yeah. You're the only guy."
Your response made him smile, and he took your hands into his, bringing you closer.
"It's the same for you, okay? You're the only girl in my life". Your heart melted at his words and you felt truly percepted. He continued while planting a kiss on your cheek "Goodnight, Y/N".
You watched as he walked away from you towards the opposite end of the station, entering the train which was practically desolated and your heart clenched as the doors watched, your eyes on him even as the train moves away. (You didn't want to admit it, but you were feeling upset that he wouldn't take you home, but you tried to brush the feeling away).
By the time you've reached home, it was already 3am. Upon opening your front door, you didn't even bother to turn on the lights, just heading straight to your room and flinging the door open. You felt exhausted, but recalling the quality time you spent with Hyunjin warmed your heart up (but a pinch of sadness because he didn't take you home).
You carelessly drop the bag onto the floor beside your table, a loud thump echoing through the room and you immediately shuffle your feet towards your bed, falling on it, your arms and legs widely spread as you stared at the ceiling, not even bothering to change your clothes first. Your room was completely dark, but the moonlight that entered through your window made certain areas in your room visible — though barely. Not only did you get to spend time with him, but knowing that your digital camera indeed didn't get lost assuaged your worries.
Wait.. Talking about your camera.. Did he even pass it back to you?
You immediately sat up, setting your feet on the floor before walking towards your light switch, making extra effort not to accidentally kick or trip over anything. Upon flicking the lightswitch, the sudden bright light caused you to flick your head downwards and shut your eyes. You slowly opened your eyelids as you gradually grew accustomed to the different lighting and you looked at the corner where you had placed your school bag when you reached home.
You quickly shuffled your feet towards your bag, unzipping the front pocket to see if there was anything, followed by the biggest pocket. Your anxiety grew as you slowly unzip, peeking your head into your bag. To your relief, your camera was resting nicely inside the big pocket on top of your school materials. You quickly snatched it out, inspecting the camera to ensure there were no scratches or dents, and luck was on your side because your camera was in perfect condition from the last time you saw it.
You released a sigh of relief and slouched your back, feeling as all the worry inside of you disappeared. You turned on your camera, wanting to quickly get the feeling of using your camera again after being so sure that you had lost it, and you wanted to quickly take a random shot.
Your bedroom could be considered neat. You were sitting beside the table that was at one corner with your laptop on it, a lamp and at the other side of the room was your bed, but your sheets were all ruffled up from a moment ago. You quickly shot your bedroom, hearing the camera click and a flash shooting through the room.
You pulled the camera away from your face, pressing a few buttons and quickly looking at the photo you took and smiled. You clicked buttons to see your other shots until you realised that there were photos that you don't recognise at all. And that's when you realise that Hyunjin has probably taken a few shots himself from when he deliberately stole your camera.
The first photo was a photo of.. you? And it was a shot of you talking to Jungwon and shaking his hand. This must've been when Jay brought you to the club room earlier.
Second, third, fourth shots were all him taking mirror selfies. There were more photos where he was intentionally making a stupid face and you giggled at his stupidity, your heart feeling warm that you had these photos for yourself, and you continued to click until you reached one photo.
It was a shot with the flashlight on, the photo slightly blurry. A girl could be seen raising her hand up to the camera, probably to block her face and as you inspected the photo more, you realised that there were purple marks visible down her jugular, causing you to gasp. You could physically feel your heart shatter as you continued to scan the photo, now zooming in and realising that the background of the photo seemed familiar.
You could make it out that it was Hyunjin's bedroom, and the girl was sitting up on the edge of his bed. Her hand had fully covered her face, leaving her identity unknown to you but all you could care about were the marks down on her neck.
You felt as nausea washed over you and your heart dropping. You knew that unless Hyunjin was a dickhead and shared your camera around, it had to be him who took that photo. You instantly turned off your camera and dropped it to the floor, not caring about the potential damages done to it and you just flicked the lightswitch to turn off the light. You threw yourself on the bed and nuzzled your face into your pillow, feeling as tears form in your eyes.
Tears slowly start to escape your eyes, feeling deeply betrayed by your discovery. The fact that that photo took a while to reach in your camera gallery just tells you that it's been a while since it's been in your camera, so how could Hyunjin treat you so nicely and restrict you from seeing other people when he goes out to meet people other than you? Heck, you didn't even have the thoughts to go down on Jay on the day you were supposed to go to the movies, but here Hyunjin was, marking others.
"'only girl in my life' my fucking ass, bro" you thought.
"Fuck you....." you mumbled weakly to yourself and your voice cracked as the image of Hyunjin's face appeared in your head when you closed your eyes. You whimpered, feeling as if the whole world just came crashing down and you continued to cry yourself to sleep until you eventually drifted into a deep sleep.
The bright sunlight crept into your room from your window without warning, and your eyes fluttered open as your nose felt congested and your eyes puffy. You groaned, feeling your body score and you rolled over to the other side of your bed where your phone was laying, and you checked the time.
11:28a.m.
You missed class, and typically you'd be panicking and immediately getting yourself ready for school, but not today. Today you were tired and you just needed the day to yourself — a day without school, interacting with people, and also a day without seeing Hyunjin. You picked up your phone from the nightstand and tried to turn it on, spamming the turn-on button repeatedly and realising that your phone was dead probably since you forgot to plug in your phone before going to sleep. That was probably why you didn't wake up, your alarm didn't even ring to wake you up —but it wasn't like you were going to get up anyways.
You sighed and turned to lay on your back, your arm resting on your forehead as you closed your eyes, recalling the reason you were even upset in the first place. It was such a lovely hangout with him last night and it felt as if you two became even closer, but now it felt like he was a completely different person to you.
Still holding your phone, you took a moment to reflect upon everything that has a moment and a bittersweet feeling ran through your veins. You sat up from your bed, looking around and still realising your digital camera on the floor. You set your feet on the floor and shuffled your feet towards the camera resting on the floor and picked it up, inspecting it for damages. Luckily for you it was still in perfect condition, but for now you just didn't want to use it — for now, you could only recall bad memories with it.
Walking to your table at the other corner of the room, you gently placed your camera down and plugged in your phone, seeing the charging screen. You released a heavy sigh and turned away from the devices, stretching your arms in the air and letting out a loud groan.
Did he take that photo intentionally? Were you not meant to see that photo? Would he message you and reassure you out of nowhere?
You slapped yourself for thinking about these questions. You didn't want to see him physically yet he was implanted in your mind, and it pissed you off.
Today, you were going to spend it on yourself. No one else, just you.
It was a nice day outside, beautiful even. The sun was out shining, the breeze brushing against your face and the streets being lightly occupied since the majority of the people were busy in school or work. You skipped down the street, feeling your hair blow as you smile at the different people you form eye contact with. Sometimes when other people return the smile it almost makes you forget how much your heart had been hurting. Keyword — almost. You look down at the pavement, releasing a loud sigh as the road beside you had cars driving past you at steady speeds.
You weren't just going anywhere, you were going to your comfort place. Your favourite cafe — Chronos Brews. You always bought the same pair of items, but maybe today you were going to get something different.
As you pushed the glass door open, the bells attached to the door chimed and while forming eye contact with the worker at the counter, you grinned at them. You strolled towards the counter and went face-to-face with the worker.
"Hey, what can I get for ya?" the male greeted, his Australian accent strong and your eyes shifted to his nametag that was hanging above his left chest pocket.
Sim Jaeyun.You have never seen him before, perhaps he was a new worker?
"Hey! Uhm.." you greeted and you trailed off, looking at the menu to search for something new. Once your eyes found an item you found interesting, you continued, “Could I get a New York cheesecake and a..” your voice trailed off as you eyes continued to scan the menu, “passion yoghurt smoothie?”.
The male smiled at you and nodded, proceeding to press buttons on the cash register and looking up again afterwards. “That’ll be 11.90, cash or card?”
“Card.”
“Okay.” He smiled.
You sat on a vacant table, the cafe being emptier than usual since everyone else was at work or school. You never realised how calming it could be when you were in your favourite cafe with barely anyone else inside. Just you, the apparent new worker - Sim Jaeyun as well as another girl, sitting at one corner busied by her laptop. As you heard footsteps approaching you, you looked up and you were met with the worker holding up a glass cup containing yellow slush with a straw poking out, and a small plate which had your cheesecake accompanied by a mini fork. He set the food down on your table, and gave you a warm smile.
“Good choice,” he suddenly spoke up, causing you to raise your eyebrows, “as in, your food choices. I like the passion yoghurt smoothie too.”
You smiled at him, “Just wanted to try something new today. I hope it’s good.”
“It will be, no worries,” he reassured, watching as you lean closer to the straw, sipping up with the drink. Your face immediately lit up, your eyebrows raising, your eyes slightly widening and a smile plastered onto your face, “You’re right, this is good”.
You continue to sip on the drink, the liquid level quickly dropping as he laughed at you. You lean back on your chair, and look at him again, “Say, I come here often but I’ve never seen you before”.
He quickly nodded his head, “Yup, just started a while ago. Usually take morning shifts, do you usually come in the afternoon?”.
You nodded your head, “Yeah I do. Makes sense why I’ve never seen you before”.
He suddenly raised one eyebrow, humming in thought. He asked, “No school or work? It’s a weekday morning” and you quickly shook your head. “I mean, I do still have school but.. Today’s my day.”
He nodded, understanding what you meant, “Well then, could I give you my number?”. You shot your gaze at him, caught off-guard by the sudden question and you raised your eyebrows. He continued, his face growing red as his eyes widened
“A-ah, not for any particular reason! You just kinda.. Seem cool, y’know? And if you need anyone to talk to..”. You laughed at him as you watched him aggressively shake his head and hands.
“Okay, sure, why not?” you giggled, handing your phone and watching as he nervously tapped his phone number, his hands slightly quivering.
After you got the new worker’s number, you left the cafe and went to different places, walking in a mall and buying things, walking in a park. It was a day out with yourself.
Must be fun, huh?
You came back home just a little bit before you ate dinner, and dropping all your bags from shopping, you immediately found your way to your room, picking up your phone and turning it on with high expectations. Your hope only crumbles when you realise that you do have notifications, but not from him. Not a single ‘Why didn’t you come to school today?’ or a ‘Are you okay?’ or if you were lucky, an ‘I’m sorry’.
Before you knew it, you were already grabbing your jacket from your closet, picking up your personal handbag from the floor and putting on your slippers, preparing to leave your house with one goal in mind - confronting Hyunjin.
He first wronged you by taking the photo of the girl, maybe it was intentional to make you jealous? Maybe it was unintentional, but you don’t know which one was first, but at this point you didn’t care. You were mad and wanted to hear it from himself, and if he wasn’t even going to reach out to you, you’re going to reach out to him first.
Standing in front of a door you’ve been in front of so many times, you anxiously knock on the wood, folding your arms as you wait for a response. Seconds felt like hours, and you felt the anxiety in you growing. Sweat rolled down your temples and you bit your lip, suddenly forgetting the words you rehearsed on the way to confront him when you actually saw him face to face.
Your head shoots up as you hear the door unlocking, watching as the door swiftly opens, revealing the man who has you wrapped around his finger. The man who puts you on an emotional rollercoaster, never once getting a break from how unpredictable he is. He looks bewildered at the sight of you, his eyebrows raising, eyes widening and his lips slightly parting, clearly speechless.
He takes a few seconds to process that you were right in front of you and finally breaks the silence, “Y/N? Why are you here?”.
You immediately frowned at his question.
Was he not going to ask how you were? Where were you instead of school? His words pricked your heart but you kept your head high, folding your arms as you lifted your head, “I saw the photo”. Features of confusion washed over him as he looked at you as if you were speaking alien language
“What phot-” “You have another girl you’re fucking with.”
His eyes immediately widened, blinking at you repetitively as he tried to find words to respond to you. “Y/N, what are you-”
“Don’t fuck with me, Hyun. I saw it in the photo in my own camera. A girl, on your bed, with hickies. You can’t tell me I’m hallucinating.” you emphasised ‘with hickies’, your chest finally feeling light as you finally let out the words you’ve been wanting to say ever since you saw that photo in the morning.
You watch as he gives you a confused look, and it makes you feel stupid about yourself, almost doubting yourself.. “Y/N, do you seriously think of me like that?”.
“Hyun, don’t turn this around on me. I literally saw-” “Y/N,” he interrupted, his gaze softening as he tilts his neck, “you do remember I told you that you’re the only girl in my life, right?” “How the fuck is that relevant in this?!” you yelled. You quite literally couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
His shoulder relaxes, folding his arms, “I genuinely have no idea what photo you’re talking about. I did take photos on your camera, yes, but it was all photos of me, Y/N. Trust me, I never had a girl over, and if anything, the girl would only be you.”
“So you’re saying my eyes are lying to me?” “Yes. I genuinely have never taken any photos of girls, or even girls on my fucking bed. You know me Y/N, I only have eyes for you.”
“No Hyunjin, I literally saw-” “Y/N, please? I know this is serious but I’m really busy right now. Can’t you just forgive me?” He steps forward towards you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him, his body now pressing against yours as he looks at you with a pleading expression.
You want to pick up a fight against him. You want to stand your ground, and tell him that you know that what you saw was right. But the way he was pleading, the way his voice sounded so soft, the way he was looking at you so softly and holding you so gently, it made you think otherwise. You averted your gaze, suddenly having a pang of guilt hit you as you sucked the insides of your cheek, not daring to look at him.
“Look at me, please?” he used one of his hands to hold your chin and lift it up to meet your eyes. You looked back at him, your jaw tightened as the guilt grew. You notice how he eyes your lips and how he was gradually leaning closer and you shut your eyes, almost afraid for what was coming.
Before you knew it, his lips were on yours, however, the feeling was different. Typically, kisses with him would be intense, greedy and passionate, but this time it was slow and gentle. He was taking his own time as he slowly cupped your jaw to angle your head. His mouth moved slowly with yours, and you could feel yourself meaning.
As the kiss continued, you felt your anger for him slowly dissociate, your stomach being filled with butterflies and your chest feeling fuzzy as you finally wrap your arms around his neck to pull his face closer to yours.
You had thoughts that you never wanted this to end, or that he was right, he would only pick you, but suddenly the image on your camera appears in your head again and it causes you to push him aggressively, breaking the kiss and his hold around you.
He looks at you flabbergasted, evidently bewildered as to why you suddenly pushed him away and you just spoke weakly, “We can’t do this..”. No matter how hard he tries, you know your eyes weren’t playing with you and that the photo was real, and you can’t kiss him or the greed for him and the pain would be worse.
“Hyunjin?” a high-pitched voice spoke out from behind Hyunjin, causing your heart to drop and your blood to go cold, already knowing what was about to come. As you averted your gaze from Hyunjin to the voice behind him, you saw it. You saw the girl in the camera, the same girl in your camera on Hyunjin’s bed with hickies all over her neck.
She had the same blonde straight hair, bangs that were slightly uneven and she was wearing an oversized shirt that you hated you recognised. It was a shirt you yourself wore multiple times.
You could now confirm that the girl was definitely in Hyunjin’s bed, and that all her hickies were definitely from Hyunjin herself. You were speechless, frozen, you were unable to do anything as your mouth remained agape, not being able to form words as your mind goes blank.
The silence between the 3 of you became extremely uncomfortable, and though no words were spoken, each second was like a knife piercing your heart and being twisted.
You couldn't do this anymore. You can’t deal with this bullshit anymore. Without thinking, your palm swiped across Hyunjin’s cheek, a loud slap echoing the atmosphere as you scowled at Hyunjin.
You were done and you weren’t going to feel like you were just one of his toys he can use and throw away once he was bored. “Fuck you, Hyunjin,” was the last thing you said before you readjusted your bag on your shoulder and stormed away, not looking back. You could feel both of their gazes on you as you walked away, but you couldn’t care less, not wanting to face them again, or anymore.
The only thing you could think about was Hyunjin and that girl. You were feeling so many emotions to the point it was overwhelming - humiliation, betrayal, anger. You felt so ashamed for actually believing that you were going to be the only girl in his life. So much for a relationship with no actual label, right?
Anger grew inside of you as you replayed the scene in your head repeatedly, wishing that you didn’t just slap him, but also yelled at him and put him in his place. Who was he to throw you around and treat you as if you were nothing?
Fuck him. Fuck Hyunjin. He’s a fucking dickhead.
You slowly tried to regulate your breathing, staring at the ceiling and occasionally shutting your eyelids as you tried to put your mind to something else. That girl can have him all she wants, and you were just done with him.
You needed to take your mind off of this, put yourself out there to forget about him, but what is there to do? Maybe you can hang out with a friend, listen to music, talk to new people, and what’s a good way to do all at once? A fun night at the club, of course.
Loud music plays through the speakers that surround the entire room, people being able to be spotted in every single corner, everyone having their different reasons for being there. Some want to hit up with others, some want to bond with their friends, some wanna have a drink, and some want to forget their miserable ex. In your case, it was all of the above.
You were walking past the crowd, trying to get past people and constantly angling your body to get through, and once you were finally at a corner with lesser people, you released a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in. You were enthusiastic at the idea of going to the club, but now that you were actually here, the atmosphere was quite overwhelming.
There were people who were literally all over each other, making out with each other as if they weren’t surrounded by a hoard of people, people vomiting and drinking, and people who were just there to dance and vibe to the music. You took out your phone from your purse, nervously checked the chats with your friend and typed to ask them what they were.
Just as you sent a message, you felt a tap on your shoulder, causing you to jump and immediately shoot your head at the person tapping your shoulder, and you release a sigh of relief once you realise it was your friend. Sim Jaeyun, the worker you met at the cafe a while ago. He nervously laughed and scratched his neck as he blinked at you, “This was the last thing I expected when you asked me to go out.”
You laugh at his comment, his presence being a sense of reassurance in an atmosphere of people you didn’t know. You smiled at him, “Is this your first time at a club?”.
He ran his hand through his hair, huffing his breath and blowing his fringe, “I mean, no, but the last time I was here I was just stuck to my friend ‘cause I had no idea what to do..”.
Your eyes lit up at his response, “Right! Like you have no clue how to dance, or if you should talk to someone new, y’know?”. You felt even more comforted that someone was exactly like you, clueless on what to do when you were in the club.
The club was famous for letting people forget their emotions, but you only felt like you confronted your feelings more in the club. He shook his head aggressively, snapping his fingers and pointing at you “Exactly that!”.
As time passes by, you and Jake start to get to know each other, like how he owns a pet dog named Layla and how he loves building legos. You also learnt that he came from Australia (which was kinda obvious from his accent) and that he’s a music-freak - he knows how to play so many instruments that you can’t even name all. You two had bought drinks and were sitting on a table, just chatting as you both got to know each other.
“Hey, I gotta go to the toilet real quick, yeah?”. You gave him a quick smile and nodded, watching him as he stood up and left for the toilet. You relaxed on your seat and sighed, feeling happy that you had a night to get to know someone new, and it felt like forever since you’ve done that considering how much Hyunjin had restricted you.
As you folded your arms and stared into blank space, you felt an arm wrap around you and you immediately flinched, trying to shift away but couldn’t. You turned and saw a man, probably in his late 20s and your stomach drops, suddenly freezing and being unable to do anything. You could tell that he didn't have good intentions, his smug smile telling you everything as he eyed you up and down.
“What’s a pretty babe doing alone in a club like this, hm?” the man said, his tone confident yet sounding so suffocating and your breath hitched, unable to form words as you just stared at the man.
“Why do you seem so uncomfortable?” he laughed out loud and you nervously laughed, your eyes constantly blinking as you looked down to your feet, feeling so small as he pulled you closer, feeling his warmth against your body.
You wanted to push him away, you wanted to scream at him for touching you but for some reason you just couldn’t do anything. Your heart was rapidly beating as your breathing picked up the pace, anxiety starting to grow inside you as you got nervous about what the man would do to you.
“Baby, do you like this?” he suddenly put his hand on your thigh, making you gasp and hold your breath. Tears were forming in your eyes as you bit your lip hard, not realising the cut that formed.
“S-stop..” you softly cried out.
“Why baby? Don’t you like it?” his hand slowly traced up your thigh, and you were regretting wearing a skirt to the club. You felt the tears break free from your eyes and you shut your eyes, not being able to fight back. That was until you heard a loud thud beside you and his arm on your thigh being hastily removed.
You shot your eyes open to see what happened and saw the man holding his face as he was forced to turn to you. You looked up further and saw Hyunjin, panting and his face full of fury as he held up his fist, his position as if he just punched the man.
“H-Hyunjn..” you weakly called out, and for a second his gaze softened as he looked at you but was quickly averted to the man. You suddenly forgot all your hatred for him when you saw him again.
“Get. Your fucking hands. Off of her.” Hyunjin commanded, his eyes full of rage as his jaw clenched and his fists shaking, his fingers white from how tightly he was clenching his hands.
The man simply turned his gaze back to Hyunjin, chuckling slowly as he looked at Hyunjin’s expression, scoffing at the sight in front of him, his hand touching the spot on his face that got punched. “And why should I?” the man taunted and leaned back to you, his arm remained wrapped around your shoulders and you stiffened up further.
Hyunjin smirked and cracked his neck, the sounds being loud “You better listen before things get fucking messy, old man, now get your hands off of her. I won’t repeat myself again.”
The man shook his head and laughed, “Look man, I’m not trying to-”.
And before you knew it, the man got punched again and you gasped at the sudden action, your hands flying to your mouth. You noticed how there was now blood flowing out of the man’s nose, and that Hyunjin was tilting his neck and pulling up his sleeves, his eyes almost looking psychotic as he rubbed his fists, his gaze fixated on the man and watching his every move.
You looked at the man and he looked like he lost his mind, his grin so wide and he started to laugh uncontrollably, his head slowly turned back to Hyunjin. His arm slithered away from you and he stood up from the chair, walking up to Hyunjin. “Do you fucking know who you’re messing with?” the man threatened, his head tilted and Hyunjin simply stared down at him.
Suddenly, Hyunjin grabbed his collar and heatbutted him, “Look, I don’t give a fuck about who you are, you touch my girl again I’m fucking killing you, got it?”. You were afraid that a fight was going to break out, but the man simply pushed away, lifting his hands as if he was surrendering and he shook his head, “I got you man, no need to be so fucking sensitive”.
The man was about to pat Hyunjin’s back to form a truce but Hyunjin gripped his wrists tightly and only glared at him, his glare being enough to tell him to fuck off and the man simply went away, glancing once more at you before he disappeared into the crowd.
“Y/N” he called out to you, his eyes still being full of fury as you stared at him. Deep down, you still hated him, but given that he just saved you from that situation, all you could think about was how grateful you were to him, how much you wanted to go back to him, how much you wanted him again. You stood up from your seat and walked towards him, saying nothing and pulling him into a tight embrace.
Upon coming into contact with you, he froze but after a few seconds you could feel his hands rest on your back, slowly caressing you as you found comfort in his hands, almost wanting to burst out crying from the situation you just experienced.
“Sorry, is this your boyfriend?” a voice spoke out and you immediately pulled back from the hug to see Jaeyun. Your eyes immediately widen and you start laughing nervously, not knowing how to respond. Hyunjin stepped towards the guy, clearly feeling threatened, “And who could you be?”.
You immediately step in, “Hyunjin, this is Jaeyun, Jaeyun this is Hyunjin”. You nervously smiled and scratched your neck. Jaeyun was smiling at Hyunjin while Hyunjin was glaring at him. You realised that you needed to thank Hyunjin, and also that you and him needed to have a talk.
“Ha..ha.. Jaeyun, let's meet again another time, thanks for tonight,” you said as you grabbed Hyunjin’s wrist and started to pull him out. You looked over your shoulder as you started to walk out, watching as Jake smiled and said his goodbyes.
Once you and Hyunjin were out of the club, you and him stood under a streetlight, and you were now face to face with him. As you looked at him, you noticed his stern expression still being present. “Who is he and where did you meet him?” he questioned, his tone evidently displeased.
You were taken aback by how pissed he sounded, your anger for him slowly returning and overpowering your gratitude for him, “Now why does that matter when you literally had a girl over just a while ago, huh?”.
Hyunjin groaned while running his hand through his hair, biting his lip, “Look, I know you might not believe me but I broke it off with her?”.
“And how am I supposed to know if you’re lying or not?!” you yelled.
“I swear this time. I kicked her out that very day you saw her, blocked her and even broke it off.” he said, his tone sounding serious but you had no idea if you should trust him or not.
“Look, you’ve lied to me once and you can do it again, Hyunjin,” you stated, your heart aching.
“No, please, I understand why you’re mad at me, and I’m a fucking dick for it, Y/N, but please just trust me this one time,” he pleaded, his gaze softening as he took a step towards you, his hand moving upwards to hold you by the waist but you slapped his hand away.
“Hyunjin, trust me, I really want to trust you, but I don’t want to constantly get disappointed and hurt again,” you spat out, “Do you know how hurt I felt when you literally lied to my face and that girl just appeared right behind you?”.
“And do you know how angry I felt when I saw you with that guy?!” he snapped, causing you to flinch. He noticed and his gaze softened, “I-I’m sorry-”
“I don’t give a fuck Hyunjin, you hurt me so much, do you think I care if you’re angry?” your voice cracked and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you relive the pain you felt just a while ago.
“Please Y/N, give me another chance, I promise you I won’t hurt you again,” he pleaded, sounding desperate as he took another step closer, your bodies almost touching as he looked at you.
He continued, “Don’t.. Walk away from me.. Don’t walk away from me.. please..?”
You shook your head, biting your lip, “Hyunjin.. I really don’t know..”. He cupped your cheeks and his eyes softened as he saw your hurt expression. He caressed your cheeks with his thumbs, his eyes looking at your facial features.
“I’ll do anything it takes to earn your forgiveness again, please?” he pleaded once more and all you could wish for was your heart to stop beating so fast so you could think straight.
“Okay,” you replied, but it came out as a raspy whisper. “Can I.. kiss you?” he questioned, his eyes already on your lips as he slowly started to lean closer to your face. You nodded your head, afraid that you were making the wrong choice, but your heart longed for this, your heart longed for him, and at this point you weren’t even thinking about the consequences.
As his lips finally landed on yours, you felt the tears break free from your eyes. He angled his head for more access to your mouth and your hands grabbed his shirt, slowly pulling him closer. The kiss was hesitant, Hyunjin probably afraid you would’ve pushed him away or reacted negatively, but once you responded, he released the breath he never realised he was holding in.
His mouth moved so tenderly against yours, mouths moving in a similar rhythm as he tries to show you how much he loves you without any words. His hands slowly slithered down to your waist and pulled you impossibly closer, feeling his warmth against you and you could slowly feel yourself losing to this kiss.You knew you’d only get hurt over and over again if you were with him, but being with him just feels so right. His lips complemented yours so well, and the way you both always ran back to each other just proves that the feeling was mutual.
You felt yourself growing breathless so you tapped his chest, signalling to pull back but he interpreted it different and only kissed you harder, causing you to form a muffled whimper as he kisses you more passionately, his lips moving more vigorously and he ran his lip on your bottom lip, silently asking for entrance and you obey. Your head was feeling fuzzy as he continued, slipping his tongue into your mouth and your tongues fighting in a fiery battle for dominance. He finally pulled back, panting heavily as he rested his forehead on yours and stared into your eyes intensely.
“Tonight, stay with me, okay?” he pleaded, his eyes soft as he continued to pant, his lips agape. You nodded, your heart about to burst from how fast it was beating. You stared at him, noticing the bruised spot on his cheek from your slap and you caressed the spot lightly, feeling guilty for it
Few days after the incident at the club, you and he became close again, reverting back to your old non-labelled relationship, your kisses being more passionate and your greed for each other being increasingly evident.
Today, he wanted to have a game-night with his boys and also invite you over, wanting your presence around him even as he hung out with his friends.
Maybe he was improving, since back then he wouldn’t even want to bring you near his friends from the fear of them finding out that you two were a thing.
Maybe now that he was more open to his friends seeing you and him together, he was serious about you, and maybe he’d be asking you out soon. Who knows?
Your heart flutters at the thought, thinking about all the different ways he would ask you out. Maybe he was going to do it while the other boys were around. Maybe another day, and he’d gift you a bouquet of flowers? Maybe a romantic dinner - the list goes on and on, but you just couldn’t wait to make it official with him.
Game night he said. His friends were sitting around you on the couch as 4 of them hold up Switch controllers, all of them yelling at each other as they stare intensely at the screen, trying to get the task in the game done.
In the room there was Chan, Minho, Jisung, Seungmin and of course, Hyunjin himself. Since there were only 4 controllers, everyone but you and Seungmin was playing, and you just awkwardly watched as they continuously shout random call-outs to each other. Seungmin was to your left, and Hyunjin was to your right, your legs in physical contact.
Being aware that Hyunjin was too occupied with the game, you looked at Seungmin who was attentively watching the screen, and feeling your gaze on him, he quickly looked back at you to form eye contact. He gave you a small grin and greeted you, “Hey Y/N”.
You knew Seungmin but never really talked to him even in class since he was always around other people. At other times, he was around Hyunjin, and you and Hyunjin never really talked publicly for.. many reasons, of course. This was the first time you actually had the opportunity to talk to him properly, and you mirrored the smile, greeting him back.
“Hey, Seungmin”.
You knew that even if he hung out with Hyunjin who could be a bad influence, Seungmin’s kind heart still remained, and your impression on him always remained positive from the times you see him in class. “How are you?” you questioned, feeling less awkward as you finally find someone to chat to while the others are busy with their game.
“Been okay, just been having my usual baseball practices, class been tough lately, you?”, he replied, the soft smile never leaving his face. You looked around the room and hummed like you were thinking and you shrugged, “Just been the same, I recently managed to find my lost camera so that’s great”. Upon saying that, you glanced at Hyunjin who was still chaotically playing his game, holding his fist up to cheer once they managed to finish their mission.
“Is that so? Must be nice finding something you lost,” “I agree,” someone to your right voiced out, feeling an arm wrap around your shoulder as they pulled you closer. You looked to your right and made eye contact with Hyunjin, him giving you a smug expression as you glared at him since he was the culprit.
“Say, wanna play Y/N? I bought a new game earlier this week, I think it’s pretty fun” Hyunjin questioned, his smug expression never leaving his face as your eyes softened, and you slowly nodded your head, “Why not?”.
Next thing you knew, you were holding the console and chasing after Hyunjin in the game. Apparently, the game name was 'Cops N Robbers’, and you scream at him from all the tactics he uses to juke you. The game setting was in prison, and you were the cop while he was the robber. There were snickers from the other boys who were also playing, finding it hilarious how naive you were to games and how Hyunjin could easily trick you.
“Y/N, don’t you think this reminds you of us?” He suddenly blurts out in the middle of his laughter. Still furious, trying to chase him, pressing the buttons aggressively “What the hell do you mean? Just get back here!”.
Hyunjin continued to laugh, “Like how you always chase me, y’know!”.
Your fingers stop moving on the console, taking the time to straighten your posture and look him in the eye. He sensed your gaze on him and he did the same, leaning back on the couch to give you his mischievous expression that you had a love-hate relationship with. Your face turned sour as you immediately understood his implication, and the corner of his mouth curved up while raising his eyebrows.
“It’s not one-sided, Hyun, it’s mutual,” you stated, your tone dead serious.
Hyunjin simply smiled, his eyes practically lighting up, “I know.”
You excused yourself after a while to use the restroom, needing a moment to yourself and as you finished washing your hands, you walked down the hallway and heard the other’s voices while wiping your damp hands on your shirt. You felt uneasy as you recalled the conversation you had earlier with him. ‘Like how you always chase me’ ‘I know’
So he knows that the two of you are after each other. Wouldn’t that mean that there is something special then? Maybe.. there is a need for establishment?
You stared into blank space, their voices gradually getting louder as you get closer, their words falling on deaf ears until you heard something that stood out to you.
“Are you guys seriously not going to get together?”
You feel your body turn cold and you instantly halt to a stop. You stopped breathing as if they would be able to hear you, and you slowly shuffled your way closer to be able to hear their conversation better. You peeked into the living room, seeing the back of their heads while seated on a couch, still playing.
You saw Seungmin avert his head to Hyunjin, “Yeah, seriously, the way y'all look at each other is insane.”
Seungmin wasn’t wrong. Your eyes then went to Hyunjin, though it was only the view of the back of his head, hopeful that his response would be something you wished for.
“Why do we need a label?”.
Oh. He continued, “Her and I are fine as we are now, we don’t need a label.”
Your heart dropped, shattered, sunk. His words were like a knife that just stabbed you in the heart, and it definitely was the opposite of the response you desired. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t hurt, but maybe he was right. Maybe a label is not needed, maybe you were just too expectant.
You instantly turned your back and sprinted back to the toilet, not caring if you were making noise. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you were not about to cry. Not now.
The boys had probably noticed your presence from the sounds you made as you shut the toilet door shut, looking into the mirror and turning on the faucet to wash your face.
One half of you was telling you that you should stop hoping, while the other half was telling you to establish what the both of you were,, and it was the only thing you could think about.
Fuck it. You’ll ask him later.
You stared at your own reflection on the mirror, the features of worry taking over as you bit your lip, praying for the best. If not, you were praying you’d be able to take his response well. You didn’t know which was scarier - losing him or yourself in the process.
“Hyunjin, don’t you think you’re too obsessed with that camera? It’s literally all you ever hold nowadays..” Seungmin grumbled, holding onto Hyunjin who was trying to pull his arm back. Seungmin pulled Hyunjin into the crowd of people, loud music blasting from the speakers that were placed at every corner of the place, people dancing and getting all over each other.
It was a sight that Hyunjin wasn’t unfamiliar with, but a sight that he wasn’t that uncomfortable with. The room was slightly dark, the disco lights flashing rainbow colours and Hyunjin sighed, wishing he was anywhere else but at the club.
“Now why’d you drag me here again?” Hyunjin grumbled, looking around the room, probably finding something he could photograph. He brought the camera to his eyes, angling it around to find something that could be photographed, whether it was the crowds of people dancing, or the sofa area where people were getting messy with each other.
“You’re such a fucking loser, y’know? Stuck in your room all day, get a girlfriend for fucks sake,” Seungmin hissed, sick of his best friend having an image of a loser.
“What’s the point? Relationships are so troublesome,” Hyunjin complained, still shifting his body to find anything to photograph until his camera is directly pointed to you, standing at one corner, talking to one of your girl friends and he accidentally snapped a photo, the flash turning on and he immediately tried to cover the flash with his hand, bringing the camera down frantically.
“Who’re you taking a photo of?” Seungmin followed the direction that Hyunjin was looking at, his eyes landing on you laughing with your other girl friends and he sighs.
“No one, it was an accident,” Hyunjin spat out, clearly flustered that he almost took a photo of a stranger.
“Are you interested in her?” Seungmin suddenly questioned, causing Hyunjin to choke on hair, putting his hand on his chest as he tried to stop coughing. Seungmin shook his head and patted his friend’s back, helping him to let all the air out.
“It’s okay to be interested. I’m kinda grateful you found something else other than your camera interesting for once,” Seungmin teased, watching Hyunjin recover and stand back straight.
Hyunjin cleared his throat, “Who is she?”. Seungmin smirked at his question, “That’s Y/N, she’s in the same class as me.”
“Is that so?” "Yeah, you like her?" Seungmin turned his neck to him, smirking at the boy. "Yeah."
After Hyunjin said goodbye to the boys at his apartment door, the sounds of the door closing and feet shuffling towards you could be heard. Your eyes were closed, head resting against the cushion of the couch as you folded your arms for extra warmth, and you felt a weight sink you down on the couch beside you. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you to lay on their shoulder and you inhaled a familiar scent, a scent that drove you crazy without fail.
You opened your eyes and looked up at Hyunjin who had his gaze locked onto you, his gaze dark as he scanned your features slowly. Your eyes, nose, lips, and he also studied your behaviour, noticing how you mirrored his actions and how your chest was rising up and down at a slow but steady pace.
His expression was unreadable - as usual, and the amount of thoughts that fill your head became overwhelming. No words were spoken, and you had no idea what was going to happen now that you and him were alone. So many questions you wanted to ask, and you were so afraid that if you said the wrong thing, he was going to slip away.
“What are you thinking about?” he spat out, finally breaking the silence between the two of you.
You hum in thought, thinking about the right words while looking into his eyes, your eyes flickering to his lips every once in a while and you finally respond, “Us”. It took a lot of confidence for you to confess that, and you bit your lip anxiously, almost instantly regretting it as you thought about how he would react to it.
The way your eyes constantly flickered to his lips didn’t go unnoticed, and the corner of his mouth curves up, his hands snaking down from around your shoulders to your waist, bringing you to closer proximity as he leaned in, “What are you talking about, Y/N?”.
His hot breath hits your lips, his eyelids halfway closed as you finally shoot the question that you’ve been dying to ask, “What are we?”.
In almost an instant, you could feel the mood of the atmosphere change. Hyunjin's breath hitched, leaning backwards and he looked at you, his expression still unreadable.
You loved how handsome he was, but you absolutely despised how you could never read him, never predict how he felt or what he was going to do next. Your eyes fell on his lips, watching how it was opening and you were anticipating his answer.
“It’s late, you should go home,” his tone shifted, sounding cold and distant. “What?” you looked at him, your eyes widened as you felt bewildered at his response. Is that even considered a response?
“You must be tired, let’s talk soon, yeah?” He moved back, removing his arm around your waist as he folded his arms, his gaze averting to the light above the two of you.
“Hyun-”
“I’m tired, Y/N, I can’t bring you home, sorry, I’m going to sleep now, goodnight.”
You watched as he stood up from the couch, the weight beside you disappearing. He was so evidently avoiding eye contact and he started to walk towards his room. Before he could step into his room, you stood up and blurted out, “I heard your conversation earlier!”.
He suddenly freezes, a few moments of silence before he turns around, his eyes finally meeting yours. “It’s not important, I don’t want to talk about it,” he firmly stated. This time, you could tell that he looked uncomfortable, angry even. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was sucking the insides of his cheeks, his jaw clenched.
This sight of him was like another knife added to your heart, and you bit your lip as you slowly nodded, “Okay.”
You didn’t know if it was appropriate, but you spoke up, “Goodnight, Hyun.”
You turned your back on him, picking all your things on the couch before pacing for the door, and as soon as you stepped outside, you slammed his front door shut. Once you were outside, you exhaled as if you were holding in a large amount of air and you leaned against the door, rethinking about what you just asked.
The thing you just asked may have just potentially ruined your entire relationship and you wanted to beat yourself up for it, wanting to turn back time and keep your mouth shut, but whatever’s been done is done, and you just have to wait and see what happens.
Before you knew it, it was the start of a period where he didn’t contact you. Like, at all.
Heck, he even avoided you like the plague. On campus whenever you’d see him, he’d notice you then turn the other away, pretending like he didn’t see you at all. You’d go to the photography club to see him more often and on days you were lucky, he was there, but he’d be occupied talking to someone else.
You’d patiently wait until he was finished conversing with the person but when he was done, he would find an excuse to leave as soon as possible. And every single time he did, he had this unpleasant expression on his face. It was the same one you saw the night you dropped the question on him, and you watched him slip away from you.
With Hyunjin practically gone from your life, you had more free time to hang out with Jay, but everytime you were with Jay on campus, you’d always catch Hyunjin staring at the two of you in your peripheral view, immediately looking away once eye contact was formed.
If you were going to be honest, you felt like shit. Were you seriously in the wrong for wanting to establish something? Wanting to make things official?
The first few days, you cried your eyes out, burying yourself in your blanket and feeling regretful for asking him in the first place. You constantly checked your phone for any notifications from him and reread your past chats to relive the past emotions. Once you even called him on accident, your face going cold but before you could drop the call, he had already rejected it.
Talk about brutal.
When Hyunjn was gone from your life, your life became peaceful, but was it really peaceful when he intentionally did it without warning? You eventually accepted it, limiting the amount of times you open your chats with him and looking out for him in the hallways.
3 weeks fly by, and you were so convinced that you’ve moved on from him - except you didn’t.
You tried finding the spark in other guys, like Jay, but your heart never melted for him the same way it did for Hyunjin. Your eyes never scanned the room for him like you did for Hyunjin, and you never checked your phone for his notifications like you did for Hyunjin.
What made it worse was that even with Hyunjin avoiding you, he was always somehow around you. Always.
In your favourite cafe whenever you were about to leave, you’d feel someone’s gaze on you and when you look up, you'd accidentally make eye contact with someone and it would've been him. He was definitely watching you the entire time you were there and you remained clueless about it.
Another time when you were eating lunch with Jay, you saw him at the corner of your eye, watching as he sucked his inner cheek and clenching his jaw.
You felt so many emotions. You felt upset and humiliated because you realised you were being toyed with, longing because you missed his touch and also satisfaction from the way he seemed jealous whenever you were with someone else and that he was always watching you.
It was as if you won the game, having him wrapped around your fingers and following you around like a dog, watching your every move. No matter how much you were in love with him, you were satisfied that you were getting under his skin and getting a reaction out of it, you loved seeing him pissed. It was difficult, but it used up every muscle in you to not lose self-respect to contact him again, whether it was by approaching him in real life or texting him.
You were sitting in front of your mirror, the air conditioner on, windows shut and the room dimly lit as you do your skincare, your thoughts drifting to Hyunjin when you suddenly get a notification.
As you swiped up a fair amount of moisturiser from the container into your index and middle finger, you looked at the direction of where your phone was facing downwards and shrugged it off, thinking that the message can be attended to after your self-care session. You applied the cream on your face, ensuring that each area on your face had equal amounts of it when your phone ding-ed again.
And again.
You raised your eyebrows and rushed to spread the cream evenly on your face, curious to who could be messaging you at this time at night. You hurriedly wiped the remaining cream on your neck as you quickly picked your phone up. You were expecting a spam notification from one of those brands you forgot you subscribed to, or maybe a message from Jay or Jake, but it was one you were never expecting.
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : hey im outside
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : open the door
Your eyes widened as your head shot forward in disbelief. You didn’t know if he was joking and was about to just turn your phone off until another one came in.
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : please
Next thing you know, you swung your apartment door open to reveal a Hyunjin who was panting, probably from running, his leather jacket wrapped around his wide figure and you eyed him up and down, not believing the sight in front of you. You knew that you were going to see him again, but you never expected it to be at his own accord. Your jaw dropped slightly, your eyes scanning his entire figure.
“I’m cold, can I please go inside?”
Still slightly confused, you nodded your head slowly and moved aside, gesturing for him to go inside and he gave you a small smile, stepping in and you closed the door as he entered. You watched as he removed his shoes and placed it at the rack at the spot he usually places it.
Without looking back, he stepped into your living room as if he hadn't ignored your existence for 3 whole weeks.
You quickly followed behind him, watching his every move. It almost felt unreal that Hyunjin himself was in your living room, walking around. He set himself down on your couch, a loud sigh leaving him and he pursed his lips, looking up at you. Eye contact with Hyunjin wasn’t new, but with the thing of him ghosting you, you almost thought you were dreaming. You stared at him with your mouth slightly agape, your eyes not blinking even once as he chuckled.
“Why.. are you here?” you finally mutter out the question that confused you the most.
“I missed you,” he replied with no hesitation.
You were taken aback at how easily he could just show up at your place out of nowhere and just admit he misses you after ghosting your entire existence for a long period of time.
“What the fuck?” you blurted out, features of disgust taking over you.
“Look, I know I ignored you, okay? But-” “Yeah, you better have known you fucking did.”
He sighed, looking down and leaning forward, his arms resting on his knees and hands clamped together before continuing, “I just needed time. Time for myself.”
“For what exactly?” you shook your head in disbelief.
“I don’t know, my head was just.. Kinda all over the place,” there was a moment of silence before he continued, “I’m here because I want to make it up to you.”
“I’m not forgiving you so easily, Hyunjin. You threw me away too easily for 3 whole weeks.” “You’re counting?” “Of course I am, dipshit!” you shot and he only shook his head, a playful smile on his face indicating he wasn’t taking you seriously.
“I know it won’t be easy, but just give me another chance, hmm?” he pleaded, his eyes lighting up as he looked up at you, flashing a small pout.
You cross your arms, biting your lip as your mind gets flooded with so many thoughts. You wanted to forgive him, but you were afraid he was going to throw you away again. You wanted to shut him out, but you feel empty without him. “You can’t just leave and expect me to accept you into my life so easily,” you shot, feeling overwhelmed that you had to make a decision.
He stared at you in silence, so many thoughts behind his eyes before he suddenly held his hand up, “Let’s go on a walk”.
You tilted your neck, “Are you crazy?!’. You turned your head to look at the clock hanging near you, “It’s literally past midnight, Hyunjin!”.
“I know,” he replied, with no emotions in his voice. “I’ll bring you to eat your favourite,” he added.
“It’s cold outside,” you gave another excuse. He immediately unzipped his jacket, discarding it from his body and offered it to you. You shook your head in disbelief, “I just can’t-”.
“Please? Pretty sure your favourite cafe is still open, and I know a few photography spots if you wanna bring your camera along,” he asked again, his words so tempting. You sighed, not believing what you were going to say next, “Fine”.
That night, he brought you out to Chronos Brews, treated you to anything you wanted and you two eventually started to talk again, though you had your guard up.
You brought your camera and he really did bring you to a few photography spots that were amazing despite it being night time. You did this once.
And twice.
Thrice.
A fourth time wouldn’t hurt right?
He was now the one frequently messaging you, double-texting (sometimes even triple) and calling you at night just to hear your voice, and facetime you just to see your face. He even brought you flowers on a random occasion and you two went to school together, frequently heading to the photography club to chill together afterwards and hanging out afterwards. It was like how it was before, but you saw him even more frequently and you had no idea if it was a good or bad thing. But as long as your heart feels happy, right?
Frequently when you were with him, you’ve always felt a bit scared that he would just slip away again, part of you thinking it was because you asked the question but you tried to brush it off, thinking that you were just overreacting and that you should just be happy with whatever you have now.
Everything is so perfect now, why ruin it because of your overthinking?
You laid in his bed, his arms wrapped around you as he gently caressed and patted your back, his touch making you feel sleepy. The past few days have been amazing. Hyunjin was now doing everything that a boyfriend would do - bringing you more flowers, playing songs on his guitar for you, calling you every night just because he wanted to hear your voice and see your face, acting intimate with you even in the public eye.
He surely seemed more serious about you, wanting to show everyone that you belonged only to him, glaring and threatening anyone else who showed signs that they wanted to hit on you or even befriend you. You looked up at him, the way his eyes were closed and his bangs were covering his eyebrows, looking so peaceful.
You could tell that he was gradually falling asleep from how his hand movements got slower and weaker, and you only stared at his features, softly giggling to yourself about how cute he looked. His chest rose up and down slowly, his body completely relaxed with you in his arms and you could only wish that you and him could stay like this forever.
Sitting on his couch, your eyes were glued to his bare back as he stood at his kitchen sink, washing the dishes after you and him had eaten dinner together. You softly smiled, feeling comforted by his presence, finally feeling like he wanted you as much as you wanted him.
“Hyun,” you softly called out, and he hummed in response, his head slightly turning over his shoulder as he continued to wash the dishes.
“Come here, quick,” you pleaded, wanted to feel his warmth again and he chuckles, nodding his head but not sparing a glance at you. You observed as he finished washing the dishes, placing the plates on the drying rack and washing his hands before he turned his back, eyes forming eye contact and he approached you with a small grin on his face.
He sat himself beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his chest, “Miss me that much?”. You giggled and nodded your head, ruffling your head into his neck.
“Hyun,” you softly called out, your heart starting to beat faster as you mustered up courage to shoot the question again.
You continued, “Can I ask you a question?”. He hummed, caressing your shoulder with his thumb, and you shot your gaze at him, looking at him with doe eyes.
“What is it, Y/N?” he smiled down at you, his eyes filled with affection. Looking at how comfortable he was, it warmed up your heart and made your chest feel fuzzy, butterflies filling your stomach and you couldn’t help but feel that your feelings were being properly reciprocated.
“Promise me you won’t get mad?” you asked, suddenly feeling hesitant. You had faith that he wouldn’t get angry anymore from how much the two of you have been bonding the past few weeks, but you still felt dubious since you remember how fast he switched up the last time you asked him the question. You were afraid he was going to slip away again, but you were hoping that this time he’d react differently.
“As long as it’s not that one dumbass question, I won’t,” he chuckled and your heart instantly dropped. Your smile started to fade and you blinked at him in confusion,
“What ‘dumbass’ question are you.. Referring to?”.
“That stupid ‘what are we’ question or whatever you asked last time,” he spoke, the smile on his face remaining which caused your heart to shatter. Even after all this time with you, he still didn’t want to establish anything and even called the question ‘stupid’.
You immediately pulled away from him, features of hurt on your face as it was now his turn to be confused, the warmth he felt from you slowly disappearing.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, and the way he was so clueless made you feel so irritated, “Oh..” he now understood your reaction, “Don’t tell me you were going to ask that shit again..”.
“I don’t see what’s so ‘stupid’ about it, Hyunjin” you spat out, frowning your eyebrows as you felt a knife stab your heart.
“No-” he seemed flabbergasted by your response and scoffed, “I don’t see what’s so important about knowing what we are, Y/N,” his words twisted the knife in your heart, and you clenched your fists, your fingers turning paper white from how tightly you were clenching them, “Can’t we just be happy as we are? Don’t you think it’s fun?”
“It’s not fucking fun, Hyunjin!” you snapped, and his eyes widened, taken aback that you raised your voice at him. He stared at you, his jaw dropped and his eyes darkened, his eyes expressing how infuriated he felt. You continued, “I’m worried every single fucking day that you’re going to just suddenly slip away one day, Hyun,” you bit your lip and your voice started to crack, “Why don’t you want the same thing? After everything?”.
He took a deep breath and turned away for a second, huffing air afterwards and causing his bangs to fly up. “Do you realise how much of a clingy, annoying bitch you sound right now?!” he yelled, causing you to flinch. Your eyes widened as you realised what he said, bewildered that he could say such degrading words to you. You both stared at each other, the weight of the air being heavy and the knife in your heart twisting even more now.
“Clingy.. Annoying.. Bitch?” you repeated, your voice soft and in disbelief as you still needed to process what he said to you.
“I thought you were different, Y/N, it was more fun when you weren’t worried about all these shitty things,” he continued, and you shook your head. “Since I’m not so fucking different, then I can just walk out right now, can’t I?” you stood up from the couch, your body still fully facing him as you kept your guard up in case he tried to do anything to you.
“Fuck, just go! I don’t give a fuck!” he yelled and you could feel tears forming in your eyes, but you weren’t crying. Not right now, not in front of him. You weren’t going to let a dick break your heart and make you feel sad. You flashed him a hurt expression and almost in a snap, his facial expression softened, “Wait- Y/N- I didn’t mean tha-”
“I’ll go since you want me gone so bad,” you stormed to his room to take the bag that was laying on the floor, looking around to ensure you left nothing behind. He quickly followed behind you, trying to get you to look at him, “Y/N, please look at me”.
You ignored all his pleads, not even sparing him a glance as you walked past him out of his room, already heading straight for the door. He grabbed your wrist and you stopped moving, “Please, I didn’t mean that Y/N and you know that”.
You flicked his hand away from your wrist, turning your body to look at him, tears already breaking free from your eyes as you shouted, “I’m fucking sick of being treated just as one of your toys! I’m done Hyun, I don’t wanna see you anymore!”
“I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean it-”
“I’m done. I’m done with.. whatever we have!”
You turned your back to him, heading straight for the door. This was the moment you’d never thought you’d be experiencing so soon. You were so afraid of the day that this was going to happen, and now that it happened, you had no idea how to feel. You opened his front door and looked at him one more time before stepping out and slamming the door shut.
The day you left, he tried to contact you multiple times, whether it was call, text, going to your house, approaching you in school, but you brushed him away every single time. You didn't want to deal with his bullshit anymore, but he wanted you to let you understand his perspective. The last time you saw him, he mentioned a time, date and location. You had the choice to go, but you didn't know if you were going to meet him. You didn't know if you were ready or if it was worth hearing it.
That day eventually came, and you were just hugging your pillow, all cozy in your bed. Your phone vibrated and you lazily rolled over your bed to pick it up and see what notification you received. Your heart aching when you realised it was from him, a feeling you were so familiar with.
hwangjin : hey
hwangjin : you remember we're meeting up right?
You knew that if you went, it could possibly be the end of everything. A part of you was so afraid of what he was going to say. You were about to turn off your phone until more notifications came in.
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : i'm really sorry, okay?
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : i really hope you come
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : give me a chance to explain myself
hwangjin ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ : okay?
You received another notification which broke your train of thought.
Weather Alert: 🌧️ Heavy Rain Expected! 🌧️ Get ready for showers! Rain is expected to start within the next hour and continue throughout the evening. Make sure to carry an umbrella and stay safe.
"Y/N!" the familiar voice called out to you, and you scanned around the cafe until you spotted the figure that was aggressively waving his hands and looking at you.
You sighed at the sight of him, not looking forward to the conversation you two are going to have. You took your time to walk to him, dragging the chair opposite of him and sitting yourself down, his eyes locked onto you and watching your every move.
You set your eyes on the table, realising how all your favourite items from the menu were nicely set down and you looked up at him, noticing his guilty expression.
"I.. bought your favourite!" His voice sounded nervous, and you looked at the classic New York cheesecake that was served on a nice small rounded plate, accompanied by the usual passion yoghurt smoothie that was packaged in a plastic cup, a small amount of whipping cream overflowing from the hole of the dome lid.
You raised your eyebrows at him, praying that whatever explanation he had would be convincing enough and make your anger for him perish.
You pick up the small fork that was resting on the plate and stab the cake, putting the cake to your mouth and chewing. You didn't say a single word, you wanted him to do all the talking so you could evaluate to see if he was even being serious about wanting to clear up the misunderstandings you both shared.
You savored the sweet taste that filled your taste buds as you continued to eat on the cake, patiently waiting for him to speak up.
"Y/N..." your eyes travelled to his, raising your eyebrows as you anticipated what he was going to say. "I love you."
You dropped your fork to the floor, creating a loud metallic sound across the entire cafe. You received glances from other people, but they quickly went back to their business. You blinked at Hyunjin in disbelief to what he had just confessed, and your mind that was overflowing with thoughts suddenly cleared up.
His confession didn't particularly make you feel overjoyed, just shocked. You'd be lying if you said you would have expected this.
"You.. love me?" you blurted out, still feeling taken aback by his sudden confession when you were expecting him to do anything else, like apologise or whatever.
"Yes. Yes I do," his voice sounded serious. You were never expecting the day that Hyunjin, your situationship, was going to be direct with his feelings and not fucking around.
"How so?" you shot out, curious as to his reasons on why he 'loves' you. A soft thunder accompanied your question, adding more suspense to the situation.
He looked slightly taken aback by your sudden question before he cleared his throat and looked around, blood rushing to the tips of his ears and a hint of pink flashing.
"I.. love the way you look so gorgeous" he hesitated, but he looked relieved after mustering up the courage to voice it out. You didn't feel satisfied one bit. You only felt annoyed at his answer, scoffing upon hearing it. "Okayyy? That's all?".
He seemed slightly puzzled as to how the first reason wasn't sufficient, but he cleared his throat and continued, "I like the way you kiss me.. hug me..". You rolled your eyes, not feeling a pinch of sincerity in his words and you sat back, folding your arms.
"Are you serious right now?" you scowled. Even a kid in elementary school could show more sincerity than Hyunjin, and this thought made you just want to slap him and leave him.
"Why wouldn't I be, Y/N?" he asked, giving you the puppy eyes before you roll your eyes once more, the annoyed feeling slowly turning into irritation. You spat out, "Let's be serious, Hyunjin. You're only with me for fun". A louder thunder was followed by your words, the sound of rain dropping commencing.
His facial expression immediately showed that he felt offended, and he defended himself, "If I was only with you for fun, I wouldn't be thinking about you every fucking second!".
'Now that's what I'm talking about.' you thought.
He continued to rambled on, "I wouldn't be imagining you while messing around with other people, or—"
"Okay, so what are we?"
He fell silent but he continued to stare at you, noticing the grimace on your face. He finally spoke up after a while, "We're friends".
'Ouch,' you thought.
"So we're friends that hug, kiss and get jealous over each other?" you contradicted his statement, your tone filled with sarcasm.
"Friends with benefits?" he stated, almost sounding confused and it made you want to scream at him.
"No.." you stood up from your chair, taking your belongings and he mirrors your actions, immediately standing up and panicking and feeling puzzled as to why you were preparing to leave. "Y/N—"
"No. I don't want to do this anymore." you stated, tears slowly forming in your eyes as you shot a glare at Hyunjin. He bit his lips and seemed unsure of what to do, and this sight of him broke your heart even more.
You picked up your bag, storming out and upon opening the front door of the cafe, you soon realised that it was pouring heavily, but it was the least of your concerns. You stepped out into the rain, feeling the cold water hit your skin and you shivered at the contrast in temperatures from inside and outside of the cafe.
You heard a voice behind you, "Wait, please!". You knew it was him, and it took every part of you to just not turn around and just continue walking, but you were forced to a stop when he gripped your wrist tightly to prevent you from walking even further. "Please.. can we just please talk?".
"I'm just.. so fucking confused! What the hell are we?!" you cried out, throwing his hand and turning your body to him, your tears continuously running down your cheeks but blending with the raindrops that fell onto your face. Your face wrinkled up, feeling so furious yet the emptiness in your heart yearning so much for Hyunjin.
Hyunjin's gaze softened at you, his eyes showing remorse as he cupped your cheeks, pecking your forehead before resting his forehead on yours. You continued, "I don't see a point in this, you already stated clearly that we're just friends with benefits, you don't want a label, but that's exactly what I want, Hyunjin".
"You love me, and I love you, so I don't see why it's so hard to—" you rambled on but your words were quickly put to a stop when he placed his lips on yours. Your hands immediately snaked up to his scalp, grabbing his hair while he cupped your cheeks, pulling your face closer to him. The kiss was slow and intimate, and it was almost like all your problems and misunderstanding vanished in one second.
The rain continued to pour, both of your bodies getting increasingly drenched but it was a problem that didn't bother you and Hyunjin. The warmth that was filling your bodies was sufficient, and the burning desire for each other only brought the two of you closer.
He tilted his neck in desperation to gain more access to you. He softly nibbled on your bottom lip, silently asking for permission for you to open your mouth, and without any reluctance, you opened your mouth.
Your tongue is immediately met with his, and they are swirling against each other. He took this chance to explore your mouth, your heart slowly melting at the passionate kiss. Blood rushed to your faces, both of your faces being a bright red as you both were desperate to sate your desires for each other.
It was obvious, you two were made for each other. Regardless if there was a label or not, you both always ran back into each other.
He softly pulled away, his eyes locked onto yours as he beamed at you. You returned an annoyed smile, and you ran your hand through his dripping hair, slicking it back.
"Please just tell me, I don't want to just be your 'maybe', Hyun," you stared into him, your gaze intense.
"For all I know, you aren't just a 'maybe', Y/N," he replied.
There were a few moments of silence before he continued, "I'm scared, Y/N, I really am," he tucked a hair that stuck to your face behind your ear, the raindrops never stopping to drench your bodies, "But I wanna figure it out with you, please".
You shook your head, not feeling completely satisfied but you were feeling happy that he was honest. He finally opened up to you, and you felt like it was a big improvement.
You two stared at each other for a moment, and you chuckled at the sight of him, warmth filling your heart as you felt like everything had changed. Realising that you were chuckling at him, he stuck his tongue out at you, and pecking your cheek afterwards, holding you oh-so-gently.
"Don't hurt me again," you said, but it came out as a raspy whisper and he slowly nodded.
"Of course," he replied. "I love you," he blurted out and it caught you off-guard, but you quickly composed yourself and chuckled at him, squeezing his cheek, "You're so adorable, you know?".
"Don't tease me, god,"
"I love you too," you replied. "I know you do"
And he pulled you into another kiss.
taglist! : @chwesuh-imnida @hyunlvrs @aft2rsexs @laylasbunbunny @neosracha @axhyyy @zennnnny @superbbananananana
@tsunderelino @skzdedgf (just thought you'd like to get tagged!)
#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#skz stay#skz imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#stray kids x y/n#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz scenarios#stray kids scenarios#skz fanfic#skz angst#stray kids angst#stray kids au#stray kids ate#skz ate#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x you#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin angst#hwang hyunjin angst#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x you#skz hyunjin#stray kids hyunjin#hyunjin stray kids
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the new morning after bot mentions Jordan’s bra… and that got me thinking… Jordan male form… w/ bra on? Because I don’t think their clothes change from form to form. If that’s true… Woof 😖
and they’re already so awkward in their masc form. poor baby. cant help but shy away from your gaze as they stand there, in their matching set, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot and blinking at you with those baby cow eyes, so uncharacteristically nervous.
their grunt mingling with a gasp when you feel up their torso, because bc the bra is suddenly so loose and they miss the feeling of something rubbing against their nipples. miss the friction of fabric they could circle their tits up against like a naughty little thing. so of course when you press your thumb over the nub in their bra they inhale, arching up into the touch.
oh how their lace panties cradle their swollen cock so well. so tight. theyre soso glad theyre black because then you cant see just how drenched they were from all that pussy slick (as if a fat bead of precum isnt swelling from their slit and spurting through the fabric. as if droplets of wetness arent rolling sluggishly down their thighs like raindrops against a car window). thinkin about how the lines of the fabric are suddenly stretched thin as the hard muscles of their thighs grow. bristles of pubes poking through the fabric. balls swelling into existence. bulging heavy against the strained seat. so fucking fat that one is bursting out, hanging n exposed to the cold air, and they whine in discomfort — thighs shifting — moving to adjust them to no avail before theyre silenced with your hand on their poor dick. all crammed up, squeezed in the tight front of their panties. its straining so hard as it grows into your palm. so desperate to burst out n break free.
"hnnng. you— you like this shit?" as if they didnt ask to try it out in the first place. been so fucking anxious, too. like they were asking to be stretched out on something real nasty rather than just look cute in their panties and a bra, like they always do for you. as if it would be any different in their masc form. makes you want to cup their cheeks and kiss the quiver in their lips away.
"mhm. like it so much that you're not allowed to take it off." their cock cant even twitch at your words, locked inside their undies. jordan's mournful whine peters into the most adorable crooning noise as your other hand slips under their bra. and yeah. they could get used to this.
#yam talks#inbox !#jordan li#jordan li x reader#jordan li fanfic#jordan li drabble#jordan li smut#gen v#gen v smut#gen v x reader#gen v fanfic#gen v headcanons
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Obreyn Martel*Duty
Pairing: Obreyn x f!reader
Kinktober Day twenty-eight: mutual masturbation with Oberyn Martell – you always heard that the dornish were more sex positive than most, but you hadn’t expected Oberyn Martell of all people to show you just how good it could feel
Word count: 1550
Warnings: arranged marriage, innocent reader, making out, neck kisses, mutual masturbation, talks of sex, praise, one bite, smut 18+
Masterlist Here
Kinktober List Here
You knew that the Dornish would have different customs and secretly you were excited to explore them when you realised being a woman was not seen as a punishment there. However, what you hadn’t expected was how welcoming and how open they were. The kisses left on your knuckles had been a kind gesture, but you would flush at the casualty of skin at court.
You supposed it was just due to the heat and your own dresses soon became thinner as you waited for your wedding night. While your family worried for their alliance you worried for your husband. You’d heard many rumours about Oberyn Martell, that he was as smart as a whip and deadly as snakes. The Dornish handmaidens had told you he was kind, but the anxiety lingered till you finally met him. He was gorgeous and sweet words slipped off his tongue effortlessly. When he would escort you through the gardens his hand would rest on your waist, and you wondered what the glint was behind his eye. Then the wedding night came. The day had been beautiful. The tables were lined with spiced cakes and deep red wines. The music echoed in your mind still as you recalled how the dornish danced like free spirits. Obryen had been kind, whispering in your ear who was who and making sure to introduce you to all his friends. It could not had been more perfect. That did not stop your nerves however when you remembered the bedding. You were relieved to find out they did not believe in the bedding ceremony however your ladies’ words of encouragement struck fear in you. “It wont last long,” “Just close your eyes and dream of something else,” “It will hurt but you cannot let him know,” Shudders ran down your spine as your ladies finished undressing you. you were left in a thin shift however when your ladies left you soon wrapped a robe Oberyn had gifted you around yourself and sat on the bed.
“Wife,” Oberyn’s voice snapped you from your thoughts. You smiled at him as he crossed the room. His hands cupped your cheeks softly as he brought his lips down onto yours. they tasted like sweet wines and moved like water against yours. When he pulled back your lips chased him, and he chuckled as your face flush. “Oh, sweet wife,” he mumbled, his thumb stroking your cheek before he stood. “I will only be a moment,” he said as he began to take off his jewllery, setting them to the side. You nodded, internally bracing yourself as you took off the robe. You sat it down gently beside the bed before slipping beneath the sheets, laying down waiting as your ladies had instructed you. when Oberyn turned around, now in just a thin undershirt and his trousers, he smiled, “Are you tired my sweet? I suppose the day has been long,” “No,” you said quietly, your cheeks burning as he moved to sit on the bed beside you. you leaned up slightly, eyebrows creasing in confusion, “Arent you supposed to well,” you began to stutter out as he sat above the sheets beside you, gazing down at you in confusion. A wash of relisation covered his face, “Ah yes, forgive me,” he chuckled making your skin grow hot, “I didn’t think you would wish to do that so soon,” obryen moved to lay beside you, still on top of the sheets as you grew more confused. “I thought we had to,” you said, “It is my duty is it not?” Obryen smiled softly, brushing the hair from your face sending shivers down your spine, “I suppose some may call it that though I confess in time I hope you do not view it as such. What else did your ladies tell you about it?” he asked. You paused for a moment before turning to lay on your side facing him, “They said that it hurts but it doesn’t last very long. is that true?” you asked, growing frustrated at the way he laughed.
“It doesn’t have to hurt no,” he said, smiling, “Their husbands are just impatient. Sex is,” he said, noticing how your eyes fell in embarrassment as he spoke, “a beautiful thing. Its something to be enjoyed, by both parties,” he said, his hand slowly moving up your arm, “There is no reason you should not enjoy it,” His hand moved to cup your cheek while his eyes gazed into yours in a way that made your mouth grow dry. A few moments passed before he whispered, “May I kiss you?” he asked. You nodded yes and his face dipped down to meet yours. It was soft and tender, but you could not help feeling a growing excitement in your stomach. “Have you ever done anything like this?” he asked, his nose brushing against yours as you shook your head no. “Have you ever touched yourself?” “I-uh- “you stuttered before finally answering, “Yes,” you whispered, skin flushing hot. “Good,” he mumbled against your lips, “Do it now,” “What?” you began to question only for him to cut you off. “Trust me my sweet. I want you to feel good,” he mumbled, pulling you in for another sweet kiss, “Let me show you how good your duty can feel,” he whispered making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. “Okay,” you mumbled back, your lips brushing against his as you leaned up to capture his lips this time. your hand slipped beneath the sheets, slowly moving towards your wettening cunt as Oberyn’s lips began to move. He kissed your check before trailing his kisses along your jaw. You whimpered when he began to suck soft spots under the corner of your jaw meanwhile your fingers ran up your slit. “Are you doing it?” he mumbled against your skin. Pressing up further, your finger slowly moved up till it was rubbing soft circles against your clit, “Yes,” you breathed out, glancing down to notice the bulge straining against his trousers. “Are you going to…?” you asked, voice trailing off as your eyes flickered back to his face. Oberyn chuckled, seemingly understanding your words, “How could I not be tempted by such a pretty sight?” he asked, his lips moving to kiss a line down your throat as his own hand slipped beneath his trousers. Your fingers sped up, rubbing fasted circles into your clit as your thighs clenched together. with his free hand Oberyn pushed the hair off your neck, allowing his lips to move down to the crook of your neck, sucking on the soft skin lightly making small moans leave your mouth.
Seeing him stroking himself at the sight of you gave you a small boost of confident as you moved your hand to slowly press two fingers in, curling them preciously as Oberyn moved his kisses to your collarbones. Your free hand moved up till your fingers were circling your perked nipple over your shift, catching your husband’s attention. “May I?” he asked, slowly moving the sheets down. You nodded, your eyes locked with his as he pulled the sheets down, “Such a pretty little thing,” he praised, his hand running lightly over your clothed breasts before suddenly squeezing one making you gasp. “Please,” you whined, your back arching slightly as your body craved his touch. Oberyn’s eyes locked with yours as he slowly pushed your shift down past your shoulders, exposing your nipples to him. His hot breath fanned over the sensitive buds before he suddenly took one into his mouth. You moaned as he began to suck the sensitive bud, his tongue flicking over it as his hand sped up beneath his trousers. You felt your fingers speed up, a warm feeling growing in your stomach as you began to approach your peak.
It didn’t take long for your stomach to tighten, your toes curling as you felt your body tense. Oberyn had clearly felt it too as he mumbled curse words against your skin, and you felt him speed up his pumps till you wondered if his hand would fall off. Moans left your lips as you felt yourself tumble over the edge of your peak, moaning his name lightly. Oberyn buried his head into your chest, his breathing becoming heavy as he chased his own release. “Fuck,” he gasped, his teeth briefly sinking into your skin before pulling away as he swore one last time as his body stiffened. Gasping, he rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, “I’m sorry my love I don’t know- “ “Its okay,” you assured him, your hand moving to hold his arm gently. Oberyn smiled at you, leaning over to press a kiss on your cheek before he quickly got up to change into fresh sleep trousers. When he came back to the bed he slipped beneath the sheets, pulling you into his chest which you gladly accepted, “I know it was not the wedding night you imagined,” he said, trailing circles on your hip with his thumb. “It was better my love,” you said, noticing Oberyn’s wide grin at how you copied his words, “As long as in time you give me a proper wedding night,” you joked. “Oh, I can promise you I will,”
Taglist: @clairacassidy @nyotamalfoy @valeskafics @asgards-princess-of-mischief
#oberyn martell#prince oberyn#oberyn martel x reader#oberyn martell smut#oberyn martell x reader#oberyn martel smut#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones smut#game of thrones#prince oberyn smut#kinktober
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haircare routine
pairing: sirius black x fem!reader
description: in which sirius does your hair.
tags: fluff, they're best friends so platonic!!, sirius takes reader through his extensive routine that he undoubtedly has because he has amazing hair, reader is a bit lazy so im assuming she uses no products, reader wears a swimsuit but nothing is specified.
a/n: first sirius piece!! i love that guy. also, i'm being so unspecific about the bathroom arrangements, so think of it however you want. i didn't want to get too into the logistics. enjoy!
wc: 854
“ow! fuck, sirius,” you curse as he yanks your head with a brush. he continues to abuse that knot in your hair much to your dismay.
“it's not my fault your hair is like this.”
“yeah, but- ah! i said i could do it myself.”
“when? you wouldve left it like this for a few more days and then been all pissy to me because you look like shit. i'm doing you a favour. stay still,” he says firmly.
you whine, “you could be less rough with it.”
“sorry,” he frowns sympathetically at you in the mirror, “just trying to detangle, ‘m almost done.”
his actions soften, smoothing a hand over your hair. he turns you around and nods his head toward the bathroom. “get in the tub, i'll be there in a second.”
james had dared you to jump in the lake and you, always up for a challenge, did it. when sirius found you, sopping strands and layered clothes, he coerced you into letting him wash your hair, yapping on about how your hair’s going to be matted if you don't shampoo it now–high maintenance prick.
you assess the temperature of the water, deeming it perfect, you take off the damp shirt you had on. climbing in carefully, you sink down till you're fully submerged, letting the warmth encompass you. you come back up for air after a few seconds, and sirius walks in with a stool. he sets it behind the clawfoot and looks at you.
“where'd you get that swimsuit from?”
“oh, got it from marlene, i ran into the changing room after her swim team practice.”
its explanation enough for him as he doesnt press further, far be it from him to question your antics. he pulls out a shampoo and conditioner–his ones, fancy looking bottles with labels written in cursive print, they exude expensive, nothing like the plastic bottles that sat in your shower caddy.
he sits down and picks up a cup filled with water and tips it over your head, you don't mind that it drips down your face. he slowly scrubs the shampoo into your scalp, unintentionally massaging as he goes, you hum in approval and he chuckles. he does this twice, rinsing off the soapy suds before moving on to the conditioner, raking it through your ends. he combs through your hair before washing that off too.
when he's done, he leaves you to clean the rest of your body. Its a clumsy ordeal taking off the swimsuit that clung to your skin, but you manage, leaving a few puddles in your wake. stepping out of the tub, you slip into a bathrobe, securing the tie at your waist. you walk out to find sirius waiting next to the vanity.
“what are you still doing here?”
“you’re getting the full treatment, sweetheart,” he urges you closer, “c’mon sit.”
you tentatively step forward and take a seat in front of the mirror, eyeing the box of vials–all glass but containing liquids of different colours and consistencies. you peer at him suspiciously through the mirror.
“you're not dyeing my hair green are you…?”
he flashes you a wicked smile that makes you nervous, “if i was, would i tell you?”
a small pout forms on your lips and he shifts to earnest, fingers gently raking through your hair, “i'm not,” he says firmly.
a hint of hesitancy remains but you nod nonetheless, allowing him to begin.
you watch as he pours product into his hand, and work it into the damp strands, making sure to evenly coat it. he crosses over to stand before you, a different substance in his palm, it looks like whipped cream and you arent sure how he managed to get it to foam up like that.
“bend your head please,” he guides your head down till your hair hangs over, he kneels down too. “your neck will hurt a bit because of the angle, but i’ll finish up quickly.”
he scrunches your hair up, careful not to accidently tug, causing drops of water to trickle down his arm. he continues doing this all over, all the way up into the roots. you notice how loose ringlets of curls form as he lets go.
when he finishes, he mutters a quick drying spell, one that when you use leaves your hair a frizzy mess but when he does, it looks fine. maybe those strange vials contributed to that.
he stands and raises you up with him. he's still in front of you so it obstructs your view of the mirror. he sneaks his fingers in and shakes through your hair, to give it more volume, he confirms later.
finally, stepping aside, you see yourself. he's stood beside you, with a somewhat smug look on his face, as you admire your hair. the waves are defined and remind you of your hair when you're at the beach, only healthier and more hydrated.
“thanks,” you chirp, offering him a small appreciative smile.
he brushes it off with a wink, returning your smile, “you've got great hair, you should let me style it more often.”
m.list
#sirius black#the marauders#marauders era#sirius black fic#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fanfiction#marauders fanfiction#padfoot#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#platonic!sirius black#marauders#sirius black fluff#fluff
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You Arent Him.
Summary: Logan was dead, he had been for some time now. So who was this man in his suit in need of help?
Warnings: Light plot point spoilers for Deadpool and Wolverine (not really), Guns, angst, grief, talks of a miscarriage, and talks of death.
WC:2020
It had been a normal Friday.
I woke up at 6 am, went into the woods to chop some wood for the stove, and cooked breakfast. My dog, Buck, stood next to me, waiting for his scraps of my breakfast. I ate a few bites before I put the plate on the ground and let him have the rest of the bacon and eggs. At 7:30 I took a shower before clothing my body in some jeans, tank top, and flannel. I made a cup of tea and I sat on the back porch, working on the painting I had started a few days ago. This piece was one of the mountain ranges that surrounded my house. I sat on my stool, using my pocket knife to open up a can of paint, and dipped my brush into it, working on the forefront of the painting. I had lived in this cabin for around 7 years now, alone, only with Bucks company. However, he wasnt much of a talker. Buck was around 11 now, an old companion who spent most of his time lying by my feet and barking at passing wildlife.
I drank my tea, looking past the canvas to the area in front of me, and then painting it into the picture. I added the forefront trees, painting over the large less detailed ones I had painted in the back. I looked up again, this time the image had changed. A large orange rectangle appeared causing me to drop my mug causing it to shatter. I stood up quickly as two figures started walking out. Reaching behind me I grabbed my rifle, cocking the gun, before standing on the edge of the porch, aiming it at the figures. My breath hitched and my eyes pulled away from the scope as one of the figures was in his suit, his. I shook the feeling away and put my face back up to the scope, shooting at the familiar figure first. I cocked the gun again and put a bullet in the red man next to him as well. "Woah Woah Woah!" The red man said holding up his arms, the orange portal closed behind the two, "We come in peace, lower your gun." I looked over the scope, blinking hard, trying to blink away the scene in front of me. I raised the gun again, staring at the familiar man in yellow in the scope, looking over his face. It couldn't be him. I shot the man again earning a groan from him. I squeezed my eyes shut at his voice, "Get the hell off my property!" I yelled shakily. Buck was barking and I opened my eyes to see the dog run towards the men. "Buck, get back here." I huffed, lowering my gun to not accidentally shoot him. Buck's barks were excited, he ran towards the man in yellow. He jumped up, squealing in excitement, barking and clawing at the man. The man looked confused, kneeling down lightly so he could pet the dog. Buck licked his face and barked, rolling his body against the man's chest. I let out a shaky breath as I put the gun on safety and laid it back against the wall. "You got a bathroom out here? Traveling always messes me up." The red man him now right behind me, and Buck was in the arms of the yellow man. "Get the hell away from me." I huffed holding out my finger to the man, "I don't know what you think you are doing by looking like that but it's not going to work. Leave and never come back." He was so close to me now. My eyes settled on his face, racking him over to see if it was really him, it was. His face, is all the same, just alittle older. His eyes connected with mine, the eyes I fell in love with. He set down Buck and grabbed the red man's arm, "let's get out of here," he muttered. "What! we need her to save the timeline." He turned towards me, "Please ms, we have traveled across space and time to get to you. We are from a different timeline, and we need your help to save my timeline. You know logan right? This timeline's Logan, not Wolvie right here." The man spoke fast and I looked over at Logan, my eyes raking his face. His face showed he didn't know who I was, "we were told to come to talk to you."
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "We can talk inside. I'll make tea," I stated grabbing my riffle and motioning my head for Buck to follow me inside. "oo yay, I love tea." the red man said following close behind. "I wasnt expecting guests so ignore the mess," I stated, walking in. The floor was littered with old paintings I had completed. I watched as Logan froze in the doorway, his eyes landing on one picture on the wall, a large image framed from my wedding day.
The two men sat on the couch, Buck in between them. The red man, Wade I learned, was sipping a cup of tea I had made for him. I prepared Logan's tea, steeping a bag of peppermint tea with one sugar cube and no milk, the way he had liked it 7 years ago. I walked over, holding the mug in hand, and setting it on the coffee table in front of him. His eyes were wide and he looked alittle bit uncomfortable, looking around at the photos on the wall of the cabin. "Thank you for the tea, you have a lovely cabin here!" Wade exclaimed, his legs crossed, "I love these photos, the only proof I have that Wolvie here could smile if he wanted to." I gave the man a small smile, pulling my legs underneath me in the chair across from them. Logan gave Wade an annoyed look before he picked up the tea. He took a sniff and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he took a sip and his face looked even more confused. "peppermint with one sugar." I said lightly causing him to look up at me, "My husband's favorite. I hope it's okay." He nodded and took another sip, cradling the warm cup in his hands, and staring down at it.
"Can you tell us alittle about him?" Wade said pointing to one of the pictures on the wall. I hesitated, feeling the weight of my grief pressing down on me. But something in Logan's voice, the earnestness, made me want to share. "He was... brave," I began, my voice breaking slightly. "He was a fighter, in every sense of the word. But he was also kind, in his own rough way. He loved this cabin, our life together. He would spend hours tinkering with things, always trying to fix or improve something, even if it was already perfect." I played with the sleeves of my flannel, "He had this way of making everything feel... right. When things were bad, when everything was falling apart, he'd just pull me close and remind me that we were in it together. No matter what happened, he was there. He was my rock."
"Me and Logan met at a grocery store, I accidentally hit him with my cart and he was pissed. But then, he wasnt. I was probably 23, I don't know how old he was, he wasnt too fond of his old age." I stated, "We were together it felt like forever, he was the love of my life." Logan's face in the picture was happy, it was me, him, and Buck as a puppy, standing in front of the cabin. "This year we would have been married for 11 years," I sighed, "but he died 7 years ago." Logan's eyes were large as he listened.
Wade waved his hands, "wait wait wait, how? Arent you like immortal." His question was voiced at Logan, not necessarily at me. "Logan was sick, he had been sick for alittle. The adamantium was poisoning him and he wasnt doing the best." I shook my head thinking about him, "I had a bad accident that sent me into a coma about a year into Logan being really sick.” My voice caught in my throat for a second and I tried to regain my composure, “we had just found out I was pregnant too. Logan was so excited to be a father, he always wanted kids.” I shook my head trying to get the thoughts out, “we lost the baby in the accident. I would have died too, I should have died." I stared down at the messy coffee table, "But Logan is dumb, he's smart, but he was so incredibly dumb. God I hate him. I hate him for dying and I hate him even more for making it so I couldn't." I dugg around in my shirt pocket, grabbing out my pocket knife. I flicked it open, making a large slit in the palm of my hand. I held up my hand and watched as the cut slowly healed. "Dont even know how he was able to do that. I woke up in my bed, Logan's hand in mine, but he was gone." I looked at the two men, "I hate him." I turned and looked at Logan, "I hate you." Sighing I stood up, "You both should leave. I'm not going to be any help to you two."
"Wait, can we at least talk about this? Please we really need you to come back with us. Pretty please?" Wade hand praying hands, as he begged. I shook my head, "I'm sorry I'll be of no use." I turned away and walked into my bedroom, falling to my knees on the side of the bed. With my head in my hands, I cried, mourning the loss of him for what felt like another time. As if I was letting him die again. The presence of someone else filled the space and I sat up, rubbing my face. "You look just like him," I stated, smelling his familiar scent, "I have prayed every night that one day I would be reunited with my love. Yet I can't die and you aren't him."
I turned to look at the man who was looking around at the room Logan and I had called our own. More pictures scattered the walls, our closet open, filled with Logan's clothes that no longer smelt like him. "I'm not him," Logan stated. He kneeled next to me, his arms resting on his knee, the same way my husband would do when I was upset, "but I'm not leaving until I know eveyrthing is alright." My lip quivered as I stared into his eyes, "Can I have a hug?" I whispered, biting my lip to keep the tears from flowing. Logan hesitated for a second but slowly opened his arms. I latched myself around his neck, burry my face into his shoulder and his large arms wrapped around me tightly. He felt so familiar, he smelled so familiar. I cried. I cried while Logan hugged me, his arms getting alittle tighter as a sob escaped my lips. It was closer, it felt like closer. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry lo." I cried, gripping him as if he would disappear if I didn't hold on. He wasn’t the Logan I had lost, and he would never replace him. But there was a part of him, a reflection of the man I had loved, in the way he held me. It was enough to bring a glimmer of peace, and comfort I hadn’t felt in seven years. Though I knew I could never bring Logan back, or replace him, I could offer this man something. It was what my Logan would have wanted—to help, to support, to save the world. That's always what he wanted, to be a hero. He would have never turned down a way to help, to save people. I wasnt going to let his memory get tainted by my own grief. I obliged in helping the two men. And in that act of compassion, I found a small measure of solace, a piece of closure that I had been searching for.
He had made everything alright.
#marvel#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#Xmen#blurb#wolverine x reader#the wolverine#Logan#wade wilson
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More Sword Questions...
These are further questions prompted by a post already long enough that I’m not reblogging the whole thing. It’s here.
@softness-and-shattering (who posted the original Ask) wrote:
Thank you so much! What Im getting is that there arent any exact rules, different people and places mixed and matched sword features as they liked. Is that more or less correct? The swords that are green, is that oxidization? Theyre very pretty. And if fullers are to reduce sword weight, what are ridges for? Thanks again :)
*****
(1) Yes, it's oxidation. The uncomplimentary word is "tarnish", the complimentary word is "patina". Bronze swords in museums can be various colours ranging from green (verdigris)...
...through golden...
...to shades of brown and almost black.
I don’t know why (archaeological metallurgy is a mystery to me) but at a guess it's related to the acidity of the ground in which they were found, the proportions of copper / tin / other metals in their bronze.
It may also be the point at which conservators decided they'd gone far enough with that particular artefact and further restoration / cleaning would cause damage.
*****
(2) Ridges on sword-blades add stiffness, is the remnant of the bar or rod of steel from which the sword was made, and are created as the blade's final form is hammered out on either side, leaving a sort of raised centre-parting.
(If this is over-simplified or just plain wrong and swordsmiths reading it are going "Nooo!", please correct me!) ;->
Here's one example with a very prominent ridge, from the Victoria & Albert Museum in London...
...and another with a more restrained centre-line from the Metropolitan Museum in New York.
*****
(3) Sword shapes and features changed depending on functional requirements. If a shape worked and its use didn’t change, it stayed the same. The Roman gladius and Japanese katana are two examples of not much change in shape over several centuries.
Demands of fashion also played a part in what kind of sword was worn when and with what.
While swords (not just Messers or falchions or other "fighting knives") do appear without armour in medieval art...
...swords only became a regular part of civilian dress in the mid-late 1400s.
In Germany this was called a Reitschwert - "riding sword" - for self-defence when out (riding) in ordinary clothes. In Italy it was a spada da lato - "side-sword" - for what's now called EDC (every-day-carry) not just in war. In Spain it was an espada ropera - "robe sword" - for wear with regular clothes rather than armour.
That last one, worn down, mispronounced or just plain pinched, became "rapier", and because it was worn every day, with stylish garments, it became yet another way in which to show off.
The most common Europe-wide rapier was a "swept hilt", comprising bars and loops, while Spain and Spanish-influenced places like Italy preferred the "cup-hilt", which had a different style of swordplay.
Cup-hilts are familiar from movies because it's easy to dress up a sport-fencing sword as something much older. Here's a stage-combat modern épée and two real rapiers.
Cup-hilts could be plain metal bowls like those, or beautiful examples of chiselled, pierced metalwork.
Swept-hilts could be equally impressive.
They were proof that their wearers were dedicated followers of fashion, men of wealth and taste - and, of course, always armed and just as always ready to use what they carried at the drop of whatever was just dropped.
Duelling became a craze, laws against it were ignored, any excuse would do, and Shakespeare summed it up nicely:
MERCUTIO: Nay, and there were two such, we should have none shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou? why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more or a hair less in his beard than thou hast; thou wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes. What eye but such an eye would spy out such a quarrel? Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as an egg for quarrelling. Thou hast quarrelled with a man for coughing in the street, because he hath wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun. Didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing his new doublet before Easter? With another for tying his new shoes with old riband? And yet thou wilt tutor me from quarrelling?
(That one about the doublet had echoes in 1922, with The Straw Hat Riot in New York, involving assaults on men who hadn't stopped wearing straw hats by the fashion-approved date of mid-September. At least nobody got run through...)
Oddly enough, portraits which include rapiers usually show swept-hilts, even in Spanish portraits where cup-hilts might be expected (I've seen a couple, but not many). Perhaps the artist didn’t have one to hand, or thought the swept-hilt style was more visually interesting.
The smallsword (shorter, lighter, less cumbersome to wear) replaced the rapier, and it too featured a lot in portraits. It was a piece of masculine jewellery, with a stiff narrow blade on an elegant hilt which might be metal...
...or some more exotic material like mother-of-pearl or porcelain.
Then fashion changed again, smallswords also went away, and once again the only people wearing swords on a regular basis were uniformed military types, whose swords could be all sorts of shapes and sizes depending on branch of service and function.
Even when that function is just to be part of regalia, and look good on parade.
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I never want to hear you two speak about milk again.
#IT WASNT EVEN MEEE#I HAVE LIKE. 16 DIFFERENT MILK CONFESSIONS HALF OF THEM ARENT EVEN MILK#someone. is putting fanta ketchup ice cream sugar pockets and energy drinks together. in one cup#i had to put down my phone. who said that...........#milk confessions
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is there any moment when luke and angel arent together that they end up seeing one another all alone in one room? like i imagine the entire hughes family tries their best for that to not happen when theyre not there with her but … it kind of is inevitable, isnt it?
she can’t deny the pit that forms in her stomach when she sees his car parked in the driveway. she shakes away the feeling, killing the engine and grabbing her bag from the passenger seat before making her way towards the front door because surely he wasn’t- he couldn’t be.
she twists the door knob, staring down at a picture that quinn had sent of drew and jim chilling in a golf cart captioned caddies as she waltzes through like she owned the place. the house was abnormally quiet, ellen’s usual shuffling around absent which causes her to look up and she stops in the middle of the hallway at the sight of him.
they stare at each other for a moment frozen in place. the last time that she had seen luke was from a distance at the cup parade two months before and he looked so different. his hair was a little longer, he had some attempt at facial hair sprouting along his jaw, and his eyes were a little brighter than they had been for the last year. he looked, well, he looked good.
he blinks, the confusion evident on his face as he utters the words, “are you okay?”
“why wouldn’t i be?” she says before realizing that to him at least, she had walked into the house without any warning. it was something that she had grown used to doing over the years, even after their falling out when it was an unspoken rule that whenever she was there, luke would miraculously always have plans. she shakes her head, “no, i- i’m sorry. ellen and i, we were going to go grab some lunch today and i was supposed to meet her here.”
“are you sure that it was today? she just left for some meeting like twenty minutes ago,” luke raises his eyebrows and her face falls. he watches as she pulls out her phone and closes her eyes, letting out a soft fuck. he sends her a soft grin, “let me guess, the plans are for thursday and not today?”
“i’m sorry. i really thought it said tuesday,” she stares at the screen for a second longer as if willing the word to change and when it doesn’t, she looks at the boy again. she lets out a quiet chuckle, “guess i have a free day now. q and j took the babies to the golf course-”
“with my dad?” luke finishes for her. he doesn’t seem bitter, but she could see the flicker of sadness in his eyes. he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “i figured when i saw him shoving two mini sets of clubs into the back of his car before he left. they’re the only babies he knows- well, the only babies he knows that he spoils like that.”
the two share a laugh at the mere thought of jim trying to coax a golf club into one of the nine month old’s hands. she had already gotten a slew of pictures from the boys, one of wren wearing a glove that was basically the length of her arm and another of drew being balanced by quinn in one arm while he seemed to be teeing up with his free hand to which she immediately called the man and had to be reassured that drew was safely in the golf cart before quinn had even pushed his tee into the ground.
she shifts her weight from foot to foot before clearing her throat, “um, i guess i’ll get going, then. seriously, i’m sorry about this.”
“not as sorry as i am.”
“luke,” she mumbles, eyes shifting to stare at a picture of all three boys when they were kids so she wouldn’t have to look at him, “please-”
“i know, i just wanted you to hear me say it,” he pauses, “you don’t have to forgive me and i don’t expect you to, but if i could just have a chance to explain why i did it-”
“you have a good reason for leaving me during the scariest time of my life and then basically ghosting me?” she questions and she turns her attention back to luke, watching as he visibly deflates. she stares at him, the tension between the two so thick not even a chainsaw could cut through, before she shakes her head, “i’ll never forgive you for what you did to me, to us.”
luke can only nod, letting his eyes drift to the floor.
“come by the house tomorrow afternoon. the boys are done training at one, don’t come before then. the twins usually nap around three so if you want to meet them, get there before then. this is going to be the only time that i even consider hearing what you have to say,” she says and he hangs onto every word, nodding along, “don’t mess it up.”
“i won’t.”
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