No one ever tells Obi-Wan that he is his Master's padawan.
Of course, for most people who had known Qui-Gon Jinn, telling someone else they resembled the the man would in fact be a thinly veiled insult. But still, Obi-Wan feels the absence of comparisons almost as strongly as he feels the absence of his Master.
There is no one for Obi-Wan to push against now, no strong presence at his side, ready to grab him by scruff and pull him back from another reckless stunt. It's an odd feeling. He has been set loose against his wishes. There is no one to his left and Anakin at his heels, but Anakin had needed, still needs, a strong, gentle figure for his prickly but sensitive heart. For even their worst bickering could not hold a candle to the scathing remarks he and Qui-Gon had shot at each other and Obi-Wan knows he cannot push and needle Anakin in the same way.
When Qui-Gon had been alive they had been an amusing, mirrored pair, the maverick and his rule-following padawan. Opposites clashing against each other, yet working together to complete the most difficult missions. Few saw that Qui-Gon's impertinence had indeed rubbed off on his padawan, cultivated from that small, angry initiate, because the only way to rebel against the rule-breaker had been to parrot the Council fastidiously. No one would ever get to see that again. Obi-Wan is one half of a mirrored pair trying to complete a routine on his own. What once was an impish, teasing compliance is now a betrayal of all his Master's values.
"How could Qui-Gon raise such a model Jedi?" He hears them say, "It's admirable that Master Kenobi was appointed to the Council despite his Master's maverick ways."
Padawan Kenobi would have yelled and kicked and screamed. Master Kenobi is serene. It should feel like an achievement. It feels like a disappointment.
Sometimes, Obi-Wan looks at the shape of the man he has moulded himself into, and aches to be his Master's padawan.
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Yknow I know lot of people think the young therians mainly on tiktok who make masks and do a lot of quadrobics and wear their gear in public are cringe but like. As a bit older kinnie I remember how strong my instincts were when I was that age, how often and how strongly I had mental shifts, and the mental torture I went through my whole young life before I found out that there were other people like me because I felt like I was some sort of freak and didnt understand why I couldn’t just stop feeling the ways I did
Even if you think it’s cringe I know if I had had that community and that ability to engage with my creature-self at that age I would have felt so much better in myself, I wouldn’t have had the deep set self hatred I did for many years, and I think that’s extremely important. It’s extremely important that we don’t let the young members of our community experience that same pain that I and I’m sure others like me have felt
Also friendly reminder too that cringe culture is fucking stupid, if you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else you shouldn’t be shunned for doing what makes you happy. And that means you, person reading this, shouldn’t be the one to make them feel like they should be ashamed. If you feel like it’s cringe keep that to yourself and maybe do some self reflection on why you would think people doing a harmless activity that makes them happy would somehow be wrong. Cringing is a reflex, but that doesn’t mean you have to act upon it.
Additionally if you’re one of those people that’s against them because “they’re making us look bad”/“people won’t take us seriously because of them”. If people won’t accept us in the full extent of who we are then they would never be accepting of us in the first place. Acception when only in a watered down form is not true acception at all. 
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WHAT is it with chronically online white people who think openly and proudly proclaiming their ignorance about shit from other cultures is some sort of 'oh you're so silly!' charm point
no actually you're just stupid and racist and I am beating you in the face and ass with a sack full of hammers
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People are so fucking outrageous you take some time for yourself that you told us you were taking and now they're up in your asks demanding stuff tell them to pay you for it, sincerely someone who doesn't mind waiting for whatever you post
on god i literally spent the last few days driving hours on end and just got back yesterday, today is my first full day back home. and i've been traveling out of town for the outreach clinic i have to work at the next few weeks, and even then i've still been writing allskdjf
lmfao i don't want to shit on that anon too much, and i'm def not trying to be rude or anything, but i'm also going to hijack your ask real quick to address stuff since i do have quite a few new followers.
while some users might not mind questions regarding when someone is updating/if they have anything planned for an ongoing series, and things like that, i specifically have it in my rules to please not do that, which is why i got a little short with them even though they arguably weren't being rude or malicious (unlike a few anons in the past have when asking things like that). this one is especially annoying because it's been literally eight days since i last updated for that, and i have other series i've been working on! like even though i'm not posting for it, i've still written a couple thousand words for pet!au, and i just finished a chapter for in limbo i'll have up for early access here in a bit, and then on tumblr probably tomorrow or wednesday.
but mostly, the reason why i specifically request that people don't ask if i have plans/when i'm updating/if i'm updating something is because i literally have an irl life. i've been pretty open recently about how i've been traveling and the work i've been doing, it's not a secret or anything lmao. it just feels... tone deaf, you know? like you come into my inbox not talking about the work, or what you like about it, or otherwise engaging with it, but just to ask if i'm giving you more, like i didn't just do that a week ago. hell, even if it's been months or years that's still rude imo because if you like something enough, then you'd probably be doing more than just asking for more, ya know? at least that's how it comes across to me. and like i said before, some people really don't care, which is why i made sure to specify it in my rules, because i do care. it ruins my mood to write and create because then it feels like a chore and people are waiting on me just to consume it and then beg for more rather than tell me what they actually enjoyed about the work lmao.
anyway, no hard feelings against that anon at all, i'm sure they didn't mean anything by it, so please don't show them any hate or anything. but just use this as a reminder to read the rules of the blogs you interact with please. or at least don't be surprised when you do something that irks them and then they're annoyed at you because of it lmao.
sorry about the rant in the tags
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🥱The POST-Aries Eclipse…😑✨
月曜日。8日4月2024年
19° Aries: (Libra Degree) from [Sabian Symbologist],
“Only Your Soul Knows For Sure”
“…a symbol of periodic expansion of man’s freedom of spirit and soul through his widely winging interest far removed from his normal promise,” What comes from this understanding yourself before understanding others. Being YOURSELF in the CROWD. A standout.
However, they even state that detaching too much (dissociation) may lead to “scorn” from responsibilities. Healthy detachment is okay. Just be careful to dissociate yourself from everything. Feeling too much of nothing can STILL be feeling something.
(More of my experiences under the cut)
It’s like ever since this eclipse on Monday the 8th, the energy around me has been much more light and open to my energy. Like I can move on and get stuff done. I no longer feel hunkered down as I feel like I can let grudges, bygones, fucked interactions with people (mind the Aries Mercury retrograde) and forgetfulness go.
Not to mention that when I just look forward and keep on keeping on, do I “breathe in” revitalizing energy. I feel like I can take in something new as my friends and career shift to both of what’s needed of me and what are my desires.
Another thing to note was the Eclipse occurred right on my 11th house cusp. If I could call it my Secondhand Midhaven I would. My SM. Cause that’s made my work and creative life so much more passionate and enjoyable. All because of letting things, emotions, and people that did not suit me at all….go.
It feels like that first rainy day after a long brutal heatwave. I can finally feel at ease and hop onto my work.
Extra little notes of what my latest experiences were like:
I started roleplays that go episode by episode in a show and we’ve been doing our own spins on it (creative juices a’flowing babyyyyy)
Spiritual downloads of ideologies that currently don’t exist but may come these next few decades. Something aligned with (again,) Creativity, Chaos, Common Knowledge, Sensibility, Laughter, Understanding divine timing…. TRUE Healing too (not running away or asking too much from therapy. Cause if you’re not growing yourself day by day (of course with a little advice but not too much to over rely) there’s no way).
Just being around friends who understand me. Being around people who are just here for a good time. Fighting only takes so much out of the human spirit. Gotta remember that night will hit and the hay needs someone to rest against it.
Some music I found that matched what it feels like coming out of that eclipse.
This one mainly being the sole reason why I love my state (and how lucky we are to get totality even if it was cloudy as fuck. PEOPLE STILL GOT TOGETHER TO HANG OUT)
I salute to you Texas. May the lone star state shine forever in our proud favor.
I’ve also dabbled in more Nu Metal because of the crazy war vibes from Aries alone.
Another song from Cowboy Carter that just makes me feel so ready to jump out there and smile:
😵💫Pre-Solar: in between…🤬
金曜日。5日4月2024年
Now that I think more on some stuff:
This is a side track where it was IN-BETWEEN the two eclipses from Libra Lunar and Aries Solar.
I saw The First Omen and good god did it make me feel the uncomfortableness of it all within that eclipse cycle. It scared me five times not gonna lie. And I haven’t cringed harder than I have since then.
What surprised me was that the Astrology for WHEN EXACTLY I went also lined up with something.
Moon (Emotions/Feelings) conjunct with Mars (Intensity/Drive) and Saturn (Structure/Discipline + Nihilism/Realism). Saturn tends to put pressure on systems it seems unfit or not suitable for the others around. A “YOU BEST GIT YOUR ACT TOGETHER” energy. ESPECIALLY WITH MARS. Not to mention Pisces rules religious beliefs and ideologies that are overwhelmingly large and complex. Combining all four……also added onto the fact that said movie watched was The First Omen…
It made me understand something….
That movie was about Religious Dogmatism and you couldn’t tell me otherwise! (Do tell me otherwise LMAO)
🐟🔥🪐
Much love to the astrology community guys. Hope you guys have been eating well and doing your best to protect your energy cause the world wants to bring yours down every day no matter what form.
🫶
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