#I am so totally normal about them. (screaming crying throwing up)

[jedi-starbird]

No one ever tells Obi-Wan that he is his Master's padawan.

Of course, for most people who had known Qui-Gon Jinn, telling someone else they resembled the the man would in fact be a thinly veiled insult. But still, Obi-Wan feels the absence of comparisons almost as strongly as he feels the absence of his Master.

There is no one for Obi-Wan to push against now, no strong presence at his side, ready to grab him by scruff and pull him back from another reckless stunt. It's an odd feeling. He has been set loose against his wishes. There is no one to his left and Anakin at his heels, but Anakin had needed, still needs, a strong, gentle figure for his prickly but sensitive heart. For even their worst bickering could not hold a candle to the scathing remarks he and Qui-Gon had shot at each other and Obi-Wan knows he cannot push and needle Anakin in the same way.

When Qui-Gon had been alive they had been an amusing, mirrored pair, the maverick and his rule-following padawan. Opposites clashing against each other, yet working together to complete the most difficult missions. Few saw that Qui-Gon's impertinence had indeed rubbed off on his padawan, cultivated from that small, angry initiate, because the only way to rebel against the rule-breaker had been to parrot the Council fastidiously. No one would ever get to see that again. Obi-Wan is one half of a mirrored pair trying to complete a routine on his own. What once was an impish, teasing compliance is now a betrayal of all his Master's values.

"How could Qui-Gon raise such a model Jedi?" He hears them say, "It's admirable that Master Kenobi was appointed to the Council despite his Master's maverick ways."

Padawan Kenobi would have yelled and kicked and screamed. Master Kenobi is serene. It should feel like an achievement. It feels like a disappointment.

Sometimes, Obi-Wan looks at the shape of the man he has moulded himself into, and aches to be his Master's padawan.

[nordarknessdimsthesky]

A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags

This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.

1. Feeling Normal™️

Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).

#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL

2. Feralness

The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.

#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it

3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts

These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.

# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years

4. Throwing

All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.

#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture

5. Bodily Harm

There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.  

#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me

6. Absurdism

My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].

#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass

7. Keysmashes

These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.

#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh

*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.

[burirammin]

Watched sepang 2011 moto2 fp1 followed by qualification and now I am absolutely devastated. screaming crying throwing up etc. etc. (the following write-up aka. me ever so slightly losing my mind over how Marc Marquez's 2011 season ends)

That weekend was so cursed it's unbelievable. Not even two minutes into the fp1 session the camera cut to the turn 10 gravel trap and then there was two riders occupying the place. The first one was Jules Cluzel, who was thankfully already up and was not hurt. Marc was the second one and oh boy, was he NOT fine. He laid there on his back for what felt like minutes, camera focusing on him almost THE WHOLE TIME. I. am. sick. to my stomach!!!

Not a moment later another bike (or two actually, but one of them was off camera) came crashing in, Marc was still on the ground, just out of the hit range. It was Yonny Hernandez (who looks to be fine. he raced the next day but was black-flagged) and Bradley Smith, who ended up with a broken collarbone + bruised ribs and was forced to be out of the race altogether. His injuries were caused by him getting thrown directly into Marc's bike. How unlucky was that??? The cause of all these crashes? A WET. FUCKING. PATCH. I reeallly meant it when I say that weekend was fucking cursed (and on sunday. we all know what happened on sunday...)

I was already regretting my choice to watch it at this point but just like watching a trainwreck, I couldn't stop.

And then I saw the team's reaction (full on regret. hits like a brick)

The icing on the cake? the whole session did not have any commentary. Just pure ambient noises, bike engines, staff radios, people rushing around the track. The whole scene was so eerie, I could not imagine watching this live.

The way they were running out from the pit, almost entirely abandoning it to (presumably) check on Marc at the medical center? gut punched.

The famous shot of Marc after medical check-up. Already a pro at slutty suffering at the tender age of eighteen. (I was about to throw up, so thank you I guess? how he was just out there, looking beautiful in this state was beyond my comprehension)

Marc missed all the sessions following fp1 (3 in total) but he did joined in for qualification session the next day. There was commentating for this and they mentioned that he was still a little dizzy this morning, his neck and left shoulder was not doing great either. Of course Marc being Marc he still wants to at least try to qualify and maybe, race. For context, he was just 3 points off the lead and not participating in this race means he will lose the championship, which in the end, he did.

It didn't last long. Marc was back in the box after just one qualifying lap.

Back in the box, Santi and Emilio was immediately all over him. The commentators DID pick up that there was something seriously wrong as normally only Santi (crew chief) would be present to talk about technical stuff that needs to be done and such, and not Emilio (manager). They discussed, things did not look good. With the gift of hindsight we can see that Marc was clearly informing them about his eye problem (which we know was diplopia later on) not to mention his other injuries to neck and left shoulder that was probably bothering him.

He has to leave the box shortly after. The commentators said they were hoping that he will be feeling better in the morning of race day, and also that Marc losing the championship was “inconceivable” before the fp1 crash*. There’s no such luck, unfortunately.

*mind you, he already have another big (very reckless and very much his own fault) crash from prior week with Ratthapark Wilairot in phillip island resulting in his blackeye but that was not enough to hindered his performance.

Marc watching the sunday race from the sidelines, no longer able to participate in this and following race.

And just to add even more (like anyone needed it, jesus christ) to the cursed factor of this weekend, Axel Pons suffered a massive crash during the race, resulting in a red flag. He also, was not fit for the next race.

God. That's it. That's the end of his 2011 season. From a crash that was in no way, shape or form, his fault. The circuit was later fined for not displaying yellow flag to warn riders of a wet patch on the track.

He could've won. HE COULD HAVE WON. HE COULD HAVE BEEN A MOTO2 WORLD CHAMPION IN HIS ROOKIE YEAR!!!!! I must repeat that at the time he was 3 POINTS AWAY FROM THE LEAD and has more or less been DOMINATING the whole season. He was on the podium for every races that he has finished and was on a streak. I am convinced he could have easily done it if not for the unfortunate accident.

But all he got out of it was second place in the championship (which we all know he won't accept in his mind. at least back then) and a diplopia problem that would still haunts him more than ten years later...

[devastatinglygreen]

Okay so now do what you think will happen after Colin finds out about Lady Whistledown. 🙏

so i sat on this for a little bit because i didn't really know how to answer it but i was chatting with @gleefullypolin, while totally not talking about polin nonstop, no. talking very normally i assure you.

i'm going to put the rest under the cut because it might have spoilers or speculation that people don't want to see:

alright so we know when colin finds out about LW, right? and we know they have a fight. a big one. obviously.

i think colin has to have a regression of his character. he's only been vulnerable around one person so far this season. penelope. and he loves and adores her and she's going betray (hello eros and psyche!) his trust.

there is no love without trust.

there's something very interesting we noticed while chatting about colin and his bro friends. they've been there each time he makes a choice about penelope.

the first ball, he chooses her over them after they're like, "the featherington girl? why concern yourself with her?" but then he tries to take it somewhere private and she checks him hard and cracked his armor. she was not impressed with that version of him and he knew it.

and he definitely will when he learns she's LW if he wasn't aware before

when he's not near them, he chooses her without thinking about it, he runs out after her at a ball when gossip about them is pretty much being said to their faces. even at the first brothel scene, he tells them he's late but then we see him at the market waiting for penelope. this man is a fake and a liar and we see him, we know what he's about. nerd.

in episode 3, he's with them at the balloon thing and they're messing with him about helping penelope and he's so dumb because he's like "i'm done with all of that. it's good to back" all cocky and lame like he wasn't just eating the same cupcake thing she did and staring at her. i was a dramatic teenage girl who once had a crush on a guy who i only saw at lunch and never knew his name and even i wasn't down that bad. good lord. embarrassing.

not really i love it, i love him so much

but he picks penelope over them again when he runs off to save her from the big mean hot air balloon.

we see them again in episode 4, at the library while he watches penelope through a mirror. because that's definitely not crying, screaming, throwing up behavior. they invite him out. for revelry. regency bro speak for possible syphilis and liver disease, it's fine.

he can't get down with his ladies of choice because he's knee deep in wishing he was balls deep in penelope instead. he stares at a wall. they manage to make us feel bad for a man sitting in a brothel. amazing.

we see them at mondrich's. they're talking about girls they probably didn't actually sleep with. oh sure, totally buy that you had access to a woman for 6 months straight. you bet, my guy, totally believable. colin is unhappy. he's like don't you ever want to have a feeling? they're like, no, i just feel the syphilis. it burns, bridgerton. we need antibiotics.

antibiotics won't be a thing for like another 100 years give or take good luck i guess

but he stays and drinks. he's picked penelope but he can't have penelope at this moment. he's in bed laying there waiting to sleep. or die. idk. he's a bridgerton, they're dramatic.

he sees them one last time in episode 4. they stop him. they're dicks. rude to will on top of it? pls. they invite him out and he says no. he's picked penelope once more but he doesn't say anything but "excuse me" and pushes through. they don't push back. they're like, fine. more chronic liver failure and fake stories for us, bro.

he finds penelope. causes a huge social upset that no one pays attention to because he's too busy ragging on debling for having the audacity to leave penelope for years. which is fair. colin would never.

chases penelope. catches her. not quite balls deep but knuckles deep at minimum, let's be real.

which, i am very sorry for this being this long at this point, is why i think we could see his "friends" again before the end. he's going to go through something world shaking and they're always there when he's making a choice but i think what's important to note is that he always makes the right one, he always picks penelope. i think he's not fully dropped that armor and it's easy to slip back into someone pretending not to care, especially when you're hurting. he's got to reject the man society wants him to be and, essentially, be the man penelope needs him to be. she's his purpose.

eta: colin loves to be penelope's hero. i think he's going to feel that pull over whatever else is going on.

i'm just saying it's a mirror of how penelope needs to reconcile how she's both penelope and lady whistledown. they both need to come to terms with who they want to be moving forward. symbolism or some shit.

or i'm totally wrong and all those words above mean nothing. either way i got to avoid folding laundry. time well spent if you ask me.

[theprinceandthewitch]

Don't mind me everyone, I am just sitting over here experiencing Totally Normal feelings about the Caleb/Evelyn subtext in Hunting Palismen.

I am not screaming, crying, shaking, and/or throwing up over how Hunters first act of betrayal against Philip was cherishing the bond he has with Luz. This bond is represented by Flapjack, the physical representation of Caleb and Evelyn's love.

I do not watch this episode, with my mouth agape, every time I see Hunter return home to his abusive "uncle" knowing full well physical punishment will most likely be dealt to him. He knows that his "uncle" might add another scar to his face, but he still chooses to return home empty-handed rather than turn against Luz. I react in a manner that can undoubtedly be perceived as normal every time I see Hunter choose to keep Flapjack, even though handing Flapjack over to his abusive "uncle" would spare him further punishment.

I am also casual about Hunter's reaction to Luz's words and disappointed gaze:

Luz: So you're really gonna do this? You're just gonna hand all these innocent little guys over to Belos? I know what he does with them. I thought you might've been a good guy. But I guess that was just wishful thinking. You're not my friend. You're just the Golden Guard.

Hunter: My name is Hunter.

Luz: [gasps]

I am not taking note of how he cares about her opinion of him. I am also not taking note of how she is the only character who actually listens to him AND how she's the only character he tries to impress.

I have not been taking note of how Luz and Hunter treat each other vs other characters AT ALL every time I rewatch this fanfic paced cartoon...

[boxfullaturtles]

For the fake title ask game: "Laughing through your crocodile tears" (I'm picking random song lyrics lol)

Okay this one gave me some trouble.

Initially was thinking post-movie or post-S2 finale. Everyone saying they're fine, making excuses for odd behaviors, smiling and pretending everything's all right and they can go back to normal. But eventually the cracks start to show and it's just a matter of who falls apart first.

But then I had a really mean idea. Time to throw Leo under the bus again. Sorry Leo. Leo's a liar, right. He lies easily, not out of maliciousness, but more like because he's two steps down from a con artist sometimes. He might not be the most charismatic but he knows how to lay on the bullshit. So opposite of one those "cursed to only tell the truth" tropes. Leo can only answer in LIES. And as these things tend to go, it's not that big of a deal at first. "Leo, do you wanna play some video games?" "With you? No way." "Leo, do you want the last slice of pizza?" "Nah, I'm not hungry." And it's not hard to put together that something's wrong with Leo. Those boys are stupid sometimes but they're not that stupid. "Leo, are you cursed?" "Whhaaattt? Pfff, no! Me? Cursed? I would never be cursed." "Yeah, he's definitely cursed." "Am not! You can't prove it!" "Leo, do you like Jupiter Jim?" "Uhg, no! They're the worst movies ever!" "...bro, you're totally cursed."

It's all funny haha make Leo say stupid stuff. But then it gets...bad. Then it escalates, as these things tend to.

He can't communicate with his team during a fight. Everything he says is a lie, an opposite, a trick. It ends up getting them hurt. He ends up insulting Donnie's tech. Badly. And it's...it's really hurtful. And Donnie logically knows that Leo didn't mean it because it's the curse talking. But...hearing that from his brother? Logical doesn't really hold a candle to hurt feelings. Mikey tries to help and get Leo to talk about how he really feels. And it works. Kind of. Actually it backfires, in a way. Leo ends up screaming his insecurities and self-loathing for everyone to hear.

And then, because what he really wants to do is cry. He laughs instead. Because why not top everything off by his own body betraying him. He wants to run so he stays put. He wants to hide in his shell but he can't move. He's hungry but he can't eat. Tired but he can't sleep. And everything that spills out of him is a lie. And if he tries to lie, tries to do the opposite of what he wants to do, tries to trick the curse into working for him, nothing happens. He's lost complete control of everything that he is. And the lines start to blur. He starts questioning where the curse ends and where Leo begins. Is he still cursed? Is he still lying? What if he's telling the truth now? It's messing with his head and he can't sleep and he's starving and his body aches because he wants to rest, so he just keeps moving, pacing the lair until Raph grabs him and holds him close because Leo's feet have been worn bloody and he's gasping for air and trembling and scared. But he can only laugh and tell them he's fine, he doesn't need help, he'll be fine. They know it's a lie, but he's still saying it with the smarmy grin of his and it's so Leo of him to do that. But it's not Leo.

And now they have to find a way to break the curse before Leo's body completely gives out on him, before the curse ends up killing him.

I don't have a resolution, I just wanna put Leo through the ringer. :) Maybe the Mystic Library has the answer? Find the right book, perform the right ritual, that whole shebang. Maybe they gotta make a deal with Big Mama? But that's a whole other can of worms. Maybe Hypno's got the answer, that would be interesting to play with. There would be a happy ending, of course, I'm not going to let Leo die like that. But it would be a terrifying and harrowing experience for everyone.

[iguessitsjustme]

The On1y One Ep 4 Thoughts

It has been one million years (2 days) since I have been able to watch this show. And now I have made it. I can now binge this show and I am sooo excited. But once I catch up, I WILL cry. Anyway. Under the cut:

I honestly think that one of my favorite things that I think is gonna happen in this show is Wang starting to at least trust and like Jiang Tian’s mom. Not as a replacement mom, but as an adult who cares about his well-being and understands him and his situation. I love how little pressure she puts on him. She always cooks for him and is never mad when he just leaves. She didn’t even get angry at his outburst about her not being his mom in the last episode so I genuinely think that she is doing it right and I think they’ll at least get a little closer and I love to see that.

That egg is PERFECTLY cooked. What is the problem with these boys?

That egg was raw? It was just runny. No I refuse to believe raw. It was perfect…maybe this is why eggs hurt my stomach…

*chokes on my own gay coughs* *coughing in gay*

*spluttering in gay*

Poor Jiang Tian is too gay for this man. Too gay for this world. He’s just trying to survive.

Yeah, I just started screaming. Piggybacks my beloved.

And now Wang is texting him in class. Truly testing the limits of this model student. I love this.

This school affecting the sleep of these children pisses me off in a special kind of way. THEY NEED TO SLEEP IN ORDER TO FUNCTION AND LEARN. Poor Wang has no choice if he wants to catch up. Absolutely bonkers and insane school. I kill them with my mind powers.

Awwww they’re studying together. And you can tell Jiang Tian was impressed with Wang immediately understanding why he chose the key points he did.

Oh these two go off the cliff. What the fuck is this behavior?

Awwww and now they’re fighting together. Also thank you Wang for adding to my collection of “boys throwing their bags at a bully” (there are two that I know of now. maybe I should make a gif of this one too)

Normal. I am normal. Completely normal about this.

COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY NORMAL.

Also it’s been a minute since I’ve said this but I LOVE this soundtrack so much.

SKLJGHKDHFLHKDHFH;LKDJFLHKJ

I am obsessed with the way that Wang looks at Jiang Tian. OBSESSED with it.

Okay I figured out what is pissing me off the most about this school. Wang is behind because he transferred late. They expect him to attend class and understand everything but also catch up on the semester he missed. By himself. His peers had a semester of being taught by their teachers. Wang has to teach himself. If it weren’t for Jiang Tian, he would be screwed. Even though he is incredibly smart and capable, he is being offered no help from the school. All of the help he has received has been from his fellow students. His friend tells him the weird rules of the school, not the administration. Jiang Tian helps him study to catch up, not his teachers. This is actually insane. I need to have a word with SOMEBODY about why they want my poor baby boy to fail.

This show insists on making me SCREM

No screenshot, but just know the noise I made when Jiang Tian asked if they could come out of the closet was not human.

Someone is up to some SHIT and it’s making me ANGRY. Leave my baby boy ALONE.

Just know. That these men that are beating up Wang. They are on my shit list. And they die now.

Thank GOD I don’t need to stop right now. I think I would lose it actually. On to episode 5.

[qpjianghu]

shaking crying screaming throwing up re: Desire Catcher (2019)

(Show CW: there is sexual violence involved in the core case. Please take care!)

I need to just ramble incoherently for a hot sec because oooooo boy the vibes are impeccable??

The TLDR is:

The two male leads have a relationship that's like Wangxian spiced with Pingxie. I know. I KNOW. The pining is off the charts, my friends. Truly unparalleled.

There is absolutely no romance whatsoever! (Except for the case where there are two men who adopt an abandoned baby together?? I mean?? ^_^) Huge win for the aros!!

If that's all you need, read no further, I shall not spoil. Come back and scream with me when you're done.

More detail below:

There are lots of surface-level similarities to Under the Skin: Frenemies-to-bromance male leads, one is a cop with a chip on his shoulder and impeccable dark/leather jackets, the other is a floppy-haired, khaki-wearing consultant with a peppy demeanor that hides deep personal trauma... but, honestly, I think Desire Catcher is what Under the Skin WISHES it was. (No shade if you loved Under the Skin -- I just personally wanted a bit more from it.)

The male leads, my goodness. Zheng Yecheng plays Lu Fengping, and Xin Yunlai plays Luo Fei. They are both so FREAKIN' good. Their characters at first just seem like typical archetypes of the stoic one and the bubbly one (WHICH I LOVE ANYWAY) but they take everything to the next level with their microexpressions that both reveal and conceal their haunted pasts, and extreme pining. Which leads me to...

The Wangxian of it all... *delighted sigh*... The person who wrote like the one fic on Ao3 in this fandom pointed out (much more eloquently than I'm about to) that Luo Fengping spends most of the show trying (and not knowing how) to save Lu Fengping the same way that Lan Wangji spends so much time trying (and not knowing how) to save Wei Wuxian. I won't spoil anything about their successes vs. failures in this post, but I have been turning around this brilliant point in my head for a week now and I am still vibrating at a totally normal frequency about them.

Which brings me to the devastating trope of how do you save someone who doesn't want to be saved? Yes yes yes OF COURSE this is a Mysterious Lotus Casebook reference. Come chew glass with meeeeeeee

And there's also: The Girl Cop!! (lol) Liang Yin!!!!! I ended up loving her. I need to watch the show again just so I can love her more, because the whole time I was worried she would become a love interest to one of the guys she shared a past with. But they all find solace and redemption WITHOUT romance!! What a concept!

Which brings me to another show this one reminded me of: the k-drama The Guest. That show also has a glorious polycule who are all connected through a shared trauma and need each other to heal. HOOK IT TO MY VEINS.

The case of the week stuff was pretty good. And by pretty good I mean completely devastating.

The big final plot resolution was a little werd ngl but you just gotta squint through some of the copaganda, shhh, it's fine

(The ENDING though.... literally just heart eyes all over the place, motherfuckers)

Look I know I said there wasn't any romance, but Luo Fei and Lu Fengping spend at least five minutes every episode pining at each other / into each other's eyes RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD while a dramatic ballad plays in the background, so, like. That's a thing. <3

Did I literally pay for the more expensive Viki subscription service so I could gif their pining in better HD?? Who's to say???

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

Having a bit of a moment right now. My dad and I rarely talk. He remarried after cheating on my mom and the woman he married is just….godawful bigoted and racist and my dad, in true male fashion, basically just takes on the personality of whomever he’s married to. So when he was with my mom, he was compassionate and accepting and kind. Now? Not so much. On top of picking up racism and bigotry and just general stupidity, he and my brother got into it a while back and put me in the middle to the point I had to scream at my father on Mothers Day, telling him that I am NOT his mother NOR my brothers mother and just because Mom is dead doesn’t mean I have to fucking parent my father and brother, just because I’m the only remaining female in the family, that parenting my child is enough for me and could they please work their shit out like the adults they purport to be. So that went SUPER well and completely fucking ruined my Mother’s Day (and has now become a running joke each Mother’s Day: has Brother or Dad called to fuck up my day yet??)

But whatever. My brother no longer speaks to him but I maintained a “call on birthdays and holidays” relationship with him, and every now and then I would text him pictures of his grandson to show off his progress or achievements and humble brag about my parenting, since judging my parenting is one of his favorite past times.

But now? I don’t know. I texted him pictures of my son’s cheer competition yesterday; he did really well, has been practicing hard, and had a ton of fun. So I wanted to share it with my dad because he’s my only living parent and sometimes I foolishly trick myself into thinking he cares. So I send him the pics, some from the competition, some of him posing with his medals like Michael Phelps, and then I throw in some brags about his academic achievements because I know I probably won’t text him again until Christmas.

Totally normal partially estranged parental conversation, right? Well, tonight I just dropped my kid off at cheer practice (this shit literally never ends but he loves it so whatever) and I get back in the car and see a missed text that he mistakenly sent to me.

WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN??? What the actual FUCK??? First off, who are you forwarding pictures of my grandson to????? Anyone who I want to see pictures of him, I send them directly to them. They aren’t for forwarding and you as his grandfather should realize that. Secondly, WHAT. THE. FUCK???? I know you, old man. You ain’t “reclaiming” that slur, oh hell no. You say it with the same intention as the men who beat Matthew Sheppard to death in a cold field in the middle of nowhere. You say that to belittle the things your grandson takes joy in because you can’t stand the fact that a little boy can find joy in sparkles and pompoms and cheerleading without being gay. And even if he DOES turn out to be gay, how dare you call him queer? I’m sorry, I don’t reclaim that slur, I’ve known too many people that were hurt while that was yelled at them and I know coming from my dad it was not meant as a “YASSS KWEEN!” Kind of queer. It wasn’t a puffed up chest, proudly proclaiming “here’s my queer grandkid, sure do love him!”

Also, he’s SIX. Six!!! Maybe he’ll be gay, maybe he’ll be straight, who fucking knows or cares right now?? He! Is! SIX!! Referencing his sexuality right now is so stupid and fucking dumb and unnecessary.

I’m so mad right now. I want to cry I’m so mad. My son loves what he loves and he loves pastel unicorns by the literal DOZENS, and rainbows, and cheerleading, and sparkly shiny things, and scootering, and wrestling, and poop jokes, and playing football, and tackling his dad, and all sorts of things. He likes “boy things” and can throw a better spiral than most adults, and he likes “girl things” too, and kicks ass at cheerleading. It makes me so mad to think of my crotchety old dad sitting in his old man recliner in Oklahoma laughing at what he perceives to be his “gay” grandson. Fucking queer. Shut the fuck up, old man, and get the fuck out of here with your preconceived notions of masculinity.

[thornsent]

oh well apparently they have me blocked so I guess they'll be fine if they go on my blog and make the decision to look and see this lol <3

I lost my best fucking friend this year like a week before my birthday because they decided to cheat on their fiancee who they had been with for 12 years with at least 3 of their coworkers at the job their fiancee got them. their fiancee was at this job for a loooong time and considered their coworkers like family. not only that but my former best friend lied to everyone and manipulated the fuck out of the situation. at first when people confronted them they seemed to relent and just accept they fucked up, but when I confronted them and really went in on just how fucked up this is to me specifically (I had an ex that did this to me LMAO and they know about how bad it fucked me up) they then promptly began to gaslight me, say that I knew I was cheating on their fiancee and ENABLED it, etc.

it was unimaginably cruel and completely unlike them and I am quite literally traumatized and only just coming out of shock from it because that person is not my best friend and I genuinely do not understand what happened to them. I told them over n over when they vented about the issues they were having to just talk about it like adults but they never did, they just ghosted their FIANCEE and tried to avoid them and literally told me they "hoped they'd just get the hint" (again. 12 years total they were together. they were engaged. I was so stoked for them and so excited to go to the wedding. their ex had been saving for a house and everything and it was just so reminiscent of what my last ex did to me that it makes everything a thousand times worse)

Our last conversation I barely remember bc I was shaking and crying so hard I could not see the screen (they broke up w their partner over text too. so like. yeah.) but I basically was just like I don't understand why you did this when you know how bad it hurt me why would you do it to someone you loved for 12 years, why would you lie to me, why would you lie to everyone else, I love you but this is so cruel and horrible it changes how I view you forever and I can't move past that, etc (in addition to screaming at them for cheating on their partner with a wook with heinous vibes and the wit of a styrofoam block) and eventually their responses got so fucking horrendously manipulative I muted them with the intent to come back to the conversation, but then other shit kept piling onto me and quite literally this shit was so bad whenever I would begin to try and unpack it I would have a mental breakdown

anyway I've been having a rough fucking october because in addition to it being the 10 year anniversary of my worst abuser's death (mom, died on halloween when I was 16) normally this time of year I'd be spending a ton of time with the now-ex best friend because we tried to throw halloween parties every year and we always made a big production of it. this year, because I'm so far away I don't get to see any of my friends or do anything. We don't have the money for gas. I haven't made friends here because when I haven't been busy I've been too exhausted to even take care of myself, and I can't find any sort of event for adults for halloween locally. I can watch spooky movies with my girlfriend but fuck dude. It's about the tradition.

moreover it's about the sense of family. That's going to fuck me up this entire holiday season and I won't forgive them for it--- My ex bestie's family was so inclusive of me, I'd get invited over for thanksgiving and christmas and it made me look forward to those holidays because I wouldn't be rotting alone in my room, I'd be with friends. With family. I've never fucking had that and then I finally did and then they fucking took it from me and I don't think I will ever forgive them for it. I didn't block them here or anywhere else because I really truly in my stupid fucking heart thought they'd realize how bad they fucked up, but also realize they didn't have to lose me too. but they fucking chose to, at the end of the day. it felt like they wanted to get rid of everyone from their boring old life and go fuck this stupid fucking russian boy.

I'd been trying not to post about this because I know for a fact some of you guys know who I am talking about and are also mutuals with them and idk I guess I wanted to preserve some sense of their dignity? but something about this, about realizing they fucking blocked me, just gets to me. I left the light on for them and they just smashed it. There's literally no sense or purpose to their actions aside from selfishness. they ruined their own life and I think ultimately they only cried so much because they were found out, not because they actually felt guilt or remorse for what they did. and if that's the case then I guess I just never knew this person at all and it is heartbreaking and so isolating.

if they ever read this I do genuinely hope it haunts you, I hope the consequences follow you until you learn your fucking lesson, I have shed far too many tears over this and I know my Mother is watching you. I hope you are publicly strangled by your own shame until you fix whatever it is in yourself that makes you do these things to other people and their feelings and lives because it isn't cute, it isn't funny, it is a disease that spreads to everything you love until you find the source and stop it. and if you don't then brother I just hope you die before you do it to someone else. You don't get to shimmy out of this.

[memberment]

Good evening

Guys I just got home from work and proofread everything I needed to including this next Dandelion chapter and I'm trying so hard not to just fucking SOB over it.

I hate it here I want out LMFAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD WHY DID I WRITE THIS FR

10:59 update......

I'm thinking about an absolutely diabolical twist for the Trin series(it doesn't actually change the story in any way, if anything it actually makes it make so much more sense). Like, I've been ruminating on it since last night but idk if it's gonna throw people off. But at the same time like part twos and threes never do as good anyways so do I really even care?? Like, I'm just out here telling stories in fanfic font bc I would rather throw myself in the street than make OCs and not share my fun little stories.

I think I may commit to it.

I don't wanna say it on here though bc it's one of those plot twists you get will not forget even though part three is like FOREVER out.

The more I think about it the more I wanna do it. Someone tell me I should do it.

Oh my god I am shutting up and finishing reading Dandelion, y'all will hear my virtual screams in approximately one and a half business hours.

(11:43) I'm actually fucking sobbing and I didn't even start the last few chapters. Like, I'm actually crying over this. It's not funny.

(12:00) Never by mag lo coming on while I'm finishing up reading this is not funny. I'm devastated. I hope you all hate me after this oh my god I feel like I just ruined my own life. WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE AFTER BEING DONE WITH THIS FIC FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No more angst from me for a long while. I'm banned.

(12:20) Me skimming through tags on fics debating if I want to pick up something new. Everything being totally normal. Suh happy. Trying not to stew in my own misery. And then I see such a vile tag my stomach twists and now I'm just like okay I'll go fuck myself I guess I'll go write or do my homework. I'm sorry, I adore ao3 and I'm never gonna be a hater, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WILD. LIKE I AM TALKING SO BAD I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DOING MY HOMEWORK OVER THAT. LIKE I ACTUALLY JUST WIPED THE TEARS OFF MY FACE AND GOT OVER HOW SAD I WAS BECAUSE OF HOW GENUINELY SHOCKED I WAS. Like wow oh wow.

Anyways. Updates here if there's gonna be any. Also Dandelions up if anyones reading this LMAO

It's 1:40 in the morning and the beginning of Morning Glory is making me fucking unwell. I was not joking when I made that joke about like ten dreaded weeks of angst, Jesus Christ.

(2:12) This is my second time posting this exact part. Like I know I've posted this exact part. But I seriously love Christophe and all of his dialogue with my whole heart.

(4:31) I do not recall making Dova this tragic and I'm literally about to sob over him. LIKE WHY???? WHY DID I DO THAT??? WHY ARE HIS LITTLE SUBTLE BITS OF STORYLINE SO ACTUALLY PAINFUL AS THE STORY GOES ON????? (I am allergic to happiness I am my own canon event at this point)

(4:48) THE ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION THAT COMES WITH WANTING MORE STORY BUT IT SIMPLY NOT EXISTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT IS DEVASTATING.

(5:02) Welp. I'm ruined and am now compelled by god to start working on Morning Glory again. We're at 73k rn. And only two chapters that aren't the prologue are under 4k. That's fucking terrifying. Like I have 17 minus the prologue rn. WE ARE LITERALLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 16/17 OF SUMMER ALONE. AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER 14 AFTER THAT. LIKE THE 14 ARE THE PLANNED SPECIFIC EVENT CHAPTERS. BRUH. WHY DID I DO THIS????

regret.

regret is all I feel.

but I will push through.

(7:38) before I go to bed I will just say I am at 75.3k. I had no idea how I would even get close to 4k on a birthday chapter where the group effectively decided to just stay home and hang out. But now there is like 1.5k of them playing muffin time. It's wild. I love it. GOOD NIGHT.

[stormyoceans]

I FEEL COMPLETELY NORMAL ABOUT THEM

YEAH NO TOTALLY SAME HERE IM LIKE. SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM IT'S HONESTLY INSANE HOW NORMAL AND HINGED AND SANE AND FINE AND CHILL AND EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND ABSOLUTELY NOT DERANGED AT ALL I AM ABOUT THEM

and like this is what i mean when i say they always put their entire jimm-ussy and se-ussy into everything they do!!!!!!! i mean this wasn't the actual show, and even if they were recreating scenes from it, it would have been perfectly understandable if they chose not to go all out, especially when they had a whole almost 4 hours long concert to go through, but that's simply not how jimmysea work!!!!!!! doesn't matter if it's the actual series or an MV or a fan meet or a concert or a silly random question in an interview, they will take that shit seriously and give their best!!!!!!!

and the way they recreated both this scene and the one from ep 9 where day fully loses his sight are a perfect example of all of this!!!!!! they didn't hold back one bit and the emotions they delivered were so intense i honestly have no idea how they were able to channel them on the spot like that LIKE!!!!!!!!

OUTSERVED OUTSELLED OUTSLAYED OUTACTED OUTPERFORMED OUTDELIVERED OUTEVERYTHINGED!!!!!!!!!

BUT AS WE'VE PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED IM JUST SOOOOO NORMAL ABOUT ALL OF THIS I DEFINITELY DO NOT FEEL LIKE SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP BLOOD EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM

[its-all-papaya]

FIC WRITER INTERVIEW

ty for the tag @bright-and-burning booping u like a tumblr cat paw

How many works do you have on AO3?

uhhhh six if you count the lestappen i put on anon and the comp thing that's just a collection of kiss prompt fills that did not become their own fics

What's your total AO3 word count?

35,045

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

even if it ends (460)

anybody, nowhere (319)

the devil in me (310)

gentle with the ache (236) i am this fic's deadbeat dad like i'm not going to pretend i didn't write it but you can only interact with it if ur gonna be nice bc it makes me want to scream cry & throw up

the hollow hereafter (217)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i literally respond to every single comment ! if i don't know what to say i will think of something ! comments literally keep me alive. like i joke about writing for attention but genuinely the thought of receiving comments and reblog tags is what keeps me going on my wip's. i have the biggest praise kink that has EVER existed and god knows nobody is praising me for anything ever in my real life, so i gotta take what i can get. it's insane that real people read my words and have enough thoughts about them to like... type those thoughts out. so i must thank every individual person with a heart and a virtual kiss on their head.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

even if it ends for suuuure. i had people threatening self-harm in the ao3 bookmarks of that one in a loving way, and that's without even knowing about the rich inner life that i didn't expand on the way i originally planned to. in my brain, oscar has already decided to leave mclaren by the time the events of that fic happen bc their teammateship has gotten so self-destructive, so lando's "you can't stay" and oscar's "i know, but i want to anyway" is so much more knife-to-the-heart than y'all even realize.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

uh. i don't really want to count the kiss prompts because they don't really exist to me as fic, so... anybody, nowhere i guess? the devil in me is not NOT happy. can i cheat and say dad lando even though it doesn't actually exist yet?

Do you write crossovers?

no jesus christ i can barely write characters outside of oscar and lando (and apparently max fewtrell according to like two people). adding in even MORE variables is making me nauseous just thinking about it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

"hate" is a strong word but there is a reason that my lestappen is on anon now.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do write it sometimes, but not very successfully (glaring at u lestappen garbage). i have two landoscar wip's that are basically pwp, but i just don't really think i'm good at smut, so idk if they'll ever go anywhere for real. the pacing is simply so impossible to me. like how soon is too soon to have an orgasm. also like 90% of my writing is just knockoff versions of my own emotions from various points, and so as someone who only hooks up with people for reasons not really related to actually getting off, i find it really really hard to write the build-up and come-down from smut WHILE ALSO really struggling with the actual acts. like what are normal people's brains doing before during and after making someone come? bc i guarantee it is not what my brain does. it just doesn't really compute unfortunately.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think my fics have existed long enough to be stolen tbh.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i wrote literally millions of words while roleplaying in any number of ships back in the day.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

i think probably steve/bucky of the marvel universe? i don't really fw it much at this exact moment because endgame literally ruined my life for a bit, but that's probably the ship i've enjoyed the most over the years.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

honestly all of my wip's outside of dad lando and that nutcracker thing i'm definitely not writing shhh. I will fight shave fic eventually i think. the wip that's absolutely never getting finished the most securely is the fake dating thing based on that kiss prompt i filled in like july. like it's a 50k concept that i have like 5k worth of motivation for.

What are your writing strengths?

um. i think just, like. prose that sounds nice? i think i did a good job putting readers inside of lando's head in anybody, nowhere, so i'd say i'm occasionally good at translating emotion/headspace too. actually i'll go ahead and say that about all of my published landoscar, because i think that's even if it ends' strength too. dad lando is less that way, but it has other things going for it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

i'm really really mean to myself, so it's hard to pick just one. i'm bad at writing characters distinctly i think. like i just make them do things based on what feels good in my brain and just hope that y'all don't think they're OOC, but whenever i stop to think "what would oscar say here?" it's like... blank. bc i don't know. and it's really MUCH worse with everyone outside of landoscar. i also don't think my pacing is very good and i get hung up on details people won't care about and also i have a compulsive need to make EVERYTHING a metaphor. i'm going to stop there bc insecurity isn't very cute but i also over-edit and introduce too many threads and i could literally go on all night

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i don't honestly see the point? because either you provide a translation, which defeats the purpose, or you don't, which makes it a secret for some readers but NOT the ones who speak the language in question. i'm spoiled by native-english-speakers landoscar as my primary ship, but i think if i ever wanted to write a convo between like. charles and pierre, ig, i would just write it in english and be like "they said in french" afterwards of smthn, idk. i think the only time i've written in not-english is that lestappen "after a long wait" kiss prompt and it was like a language device (haha) and not dialogue.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i've only ever published on ao3 for F1. way way back i used to fill prompts on tumblr for one direction, which was the first fandom content of any kind that i wrote. the first actual fanfic i ever typed into a word document was finnpoe from the star wars sequel trilogy. so depends how you wanna define!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i got really really spooked by my lestappen adventure because it actually broke my brain for a bit, so now i'm scared to write anything but landoscar. i think the most likely non-landoscar ship i'd write is maxiel, probably? i saw them across the bar and loved their vibe. daniel feels kind of impossible for me to write though so idk if i ever will.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

anybody, nowhere i think, because i think it's the most complete thing i've done. i also really love how even if it ends turned out too, which is crazy bc i haaaaated it mid-writing process. i think it feels really like... i don't know. gritty? messy in a way that makes it authentic? idk how to describe. i think even if it ends has my favorite characterizations i've written for both lando AND oscar. but anybody, nowhere is my firstborn and i treasure her, so. yeah. tie, maybe.

tagging @fear8not1 (i know ur like. not on tumblr. but in case u would like to) and @volantium !!

[yakumtsaki]

Well things were nice and calm for one entire update, but don’t worry, we’re back to normal AS AIDEN CHEATS ON SANDY WITH JENNICOR TRICOU. AIDEN WHY. YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH 3 BOLTS

-C̴A̵N̵'̸T R̷E̷S̴I̸S̵T T̴H̸E V̵A̶M̶P G̴I̸L̸F🧟

OH MY GOD

-H̶O̵W C̸O̶U̷L̶D Y̸O̵U̵ ̶A̵I̸D̴E̵N, I̴ G̷AV̴E U̸P M̷Y L̴I̸F̴E A̶S A̷ C̷R̶Y̶P̴T S̸E̷R̵V̶A̴N̵T F̸O̴R̶ T̶H̷I̶S🧟‍♀️

Bro I can’t. I try to unlag our lot by marrying Sugar off, he cheats on his wife. I try to unlag our lot by marrying Sandy off, she gets cheated on. Not to be self-centered but WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME

-Welcome back Sandy, the bathrooms need cleaning! -G̷O̷O̵D̴ T̵O̴ ̴B̸E̴ B̴A̶C̴K🧟‍♀️

UGH

-Don’t worry bitch, I’m about to help with the lag once I take this final dump!

-Nice! About time I fuck outta here, see you stupid assholes never! 

DOBRONEGA NO

-Tell Cyn that I love her and my children that I hate them! 

-NOOOOO DOBRIE NOOOO HOW AM I GONNA LIVE WITHOUT YOU💗

Poor Cyn was devastated, she cried for days, her and Dobronega really had a Victoria/Victor pet soulmate thing going💔 RIP Dobronega, I’ll miss you so much💔

Because I wasn’t upset enough, the goddamn cleanbot had the worst meltdown yet, look at this shit:

FML. Sophito you have maxed mechanical, feel like taking a crack at fixing this??

-No thanks, I’d much rather play the piano and risk actual death by flies! 

Thank God we have iVan around here because you people are USELESS.

Case in point. The military uniform is killing me.

-𝙿𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙲. 𝙸𝙵 𝙲𝚈𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝙴 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙶𝙴𝙽𝚈 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙲 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙳𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂.

Bartholomew’s amazing 1 nice point is starting to reveal itself, this kid is a NIGHTMARE.

-Come on, Barth, concentrate! You’re four, you need to learn how to speak! -GOO GOO >:(

Bartholomew straight up exhausted Sophie so I had to send in reinforcements. 

-Alright, listen here, Bratolomew, I have enough disappointing family members, so learn to talk or Mr. Teddy loses his head.  -FINE, YOU WIN, GEEZER

Felina returns from her first day of school, runs to hug Sophito (I’ll never get used to what good parents him and Liz are)-

-and brings with her Spice! Sugar has actually been a really good dad other than you know, destroying his marriage for no reason, while Spice was a toddler I always invited Sug over to hang out with his bebe so they have a good relationship. Now that Spice is a kid we can invite him over to our lot!

Awwwww❤️ God Sugar I’m still SO PISSED AT YOU FOR THE CLAIRE DIVORCE

Jojo is on his last legs (screaming crying throwing up) so I fulfil his wish to re-become a werewolf-

-BUT APPARENTLY HE HAD A SIMULTANEOUS FEAR OF BECOMING ONE TOO. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND

-NO.

Here we go again, YOU’RE CURED. LAST TIME JOJO, I MEAN IT

-It’s ok, I’ve made up my mind..

-..a face this stunning should not be covered in fur!

No comment!

-OH MY GOD MY NEAT POINTS CAN’T TAKE THIS MESS -MINE NEITHER I’M LOSING MY MIND -IF ONLY iVAN OR SANDY WERE HERE TO CLEAN -EXACTLY, WE’RE TOO GOOD FOR IT

Un.real.

OH HELL YA, GET IT. Once we hit half a mil we’re moving to an even bigger, laggier mansion!

-Omg you guys, isn’t so funny how all 3 of you have worked most of your lives and I got a job as an elder and make more than you? Huhu!🌸

-Seriously, it’s totally crazy how my earnings have eclipsed yours! I mean look at Sophie, worked and worked to top the law career and for what?💗 -So I can represent myself in your murder trial. -Huhu looks like you guys are having your toast with a side of envy! Don’t even get me started on Shajar, mayor by 25 because she was running unopposed! Boy my life is FINALLY perfect!🌸

-HI WHAT THE HECK💗 -That’s right Cyneswith, I’m here to replace Aiden and Jack Do as your obligatory psycho spurned lover! I’m gonna barge in here daily to catch you cheating on me with your husband! 

OH MY GOD GINGER SHEA JOHNSTON GTFO WHEN WILL THIS STOP

Awww❤️

Awwwwww❤️

Aww- SUGAR WHY IS THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON JESSICA WITH HERE

-What do you think, Barth, time for ole’ uncle Sugar to get married again?

YA IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT

I don’t know if you guys realize how long I’ve been trying to get Sandy on top of the culinary career, it’s RIDIC. This is the hardest time I’ve had with a career since Wyatt, Sandy WTF

-P̸E̸O̵P̸LE D̸I̵S̷C̴R̶IM̵I̶N̷A̵T̴E A̴G̷A̴I̴N̵S̸T Z̸O̷M̷B̷I̸E C̷O̷O̴K̸S̴! S̷O̷M̵E̷O̸N̷E F̵I̵N̷DS Y̵O̷U̸R E̷Y̵E I̴N T̷H̸E̴I̵R S̴O̷U̵P̸ O̵N̷C̷E-🧟‍♀️

OK MOVING ON

-Alright Felina, seeing as science is your one true hobby, your father is useless, and I have one day left on this wretched planet, it’s time for me to teach you the secrets of repairing iVan! -But I don’t wanna learn to repair that stupid robot, huhu!🌸 -ALRIGHT THE HUHUING STOPS NOW. Write this down: “To repair iVan you turn off his killmode switch-” which of course I’ve always left on.. -Ok.. -“and reassure him you love him and he’s a good boy, but if he doesn’t calm down you’re turning him into car parts”.

Oh wow, super scientific! 

It’s Bartholomew’s birthday from which I have no pics because iVan almost killed us again..

-𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚅𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙻𝙴𝙶 𝙸𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙱𝚄𝚂. -Believe it, buddy!

..and here he is with his glorious Ti-Ning nose! Boy did that toddlerhood cuteness of yours disappear. 

-We get the face we deserve!

At least you’re self-aware!

Felina brought Cyan, June and Lakshmi’s bb with her from school! It’s so nice that all our lil cousins we’ll go to college with are showing up❤️

-Swan soooooooooong......... So loooooooong, shitty family, so looooooooooong..............🎵

It’s time😭😭😭

-Hello, old friend. Have you come for me? -I HAVE BEEN WALKING BY YOUR SIDE FOR A LONG TIME💀 -That I know. -ARE YOU PREPARED💀 -You have no idea.

SHAJAR DO YOU FUCKING MIND

OH MY GOD SHAJAR SERIOUSLY GET OUT OF THE FRAME

-It’s alright, it’s only appropriate that Shajar disappoint me one last time. So long, family! And truly, it’s been SO LONG. I’m going to find Wyatt now, but don’t worry, my spirit will always be with you, judging, lecturing, and making you soil yourselves.  

-WAAAAAAAAH -WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH -HEY-YO SHAJ! -HEY-YO! 

OH MY. FRANCES

-DADDY NO!!!!

OH WOW LOOK WHO WOKE UP. Shajar seriously ffs even for you this was unreal. Jojo left money to absolutely everyone, even Don! Charitable king💔

Frankly, I don’t even know what to say about Jojo, like I try to keep things lighthearted but I teared up when he died. I loved Jojo since he aged up into the snootiest Mr. Darcy toddler of all time, he was one of my favorite sims ever, he had so much personality, he was so much fun to play, and despite being pure evil he really did love his family and always tried to shame them into not being losers. Most of all, he loved Wyatt, with whom he’s now reunited❤️ RIP Jojo, I’ll miss you terribly-

-but clearly your spirit will live on. ABSOLUTELY NOT, SOPHITO

[mundrakan]

I often wondered why child-fics are so bad. But then, when I had my own children, it clicked. Children are very rarely written by people who actually have them, because with all the cuteness they are exhausting little devils.

Therefore here is some writing advice to non-kid-owners to make them write more realistic kids instead of little angels. And yes: my kids do all of that at some point, and yes, it's bloody annoying ;) (and yes, I still love them)

This only applies to small children (up to... 7 or so, but feel free to update with older kids behaviour)

Awful timing - you just need another minute of sleep? Or some naughty time with your partner? Or you just have this one thing to do to perfect your art? Guess who is standing in the door and NOT leaving?

Persistence - I mean the not leaving part. I do. You can literally carry a child of the room and tell them to stay out. Guess who is back in two minutes?

Impatience - Everything you are supposed to do for them has to happen IMMEDIATELY. They have literally no waiting span and come to think of it: no attention span.

Egotism: Don't get me wrong. Kids ARE compassionate. But only as long as it doesn't infringe their own happiness. The moment it does they go batshit.

Emotional blackmail - I am not sure, but in my experience EVERY child can cry on command. EVERY child

Tantrums - Yes, they will throw tantrums. They will scream, they will jump around like little devils, they will fault you for everything including the sinking of the Titanic, and they will kick, bite, slap you, if you get to close. There are two things to make it worse: one, it can happen within a heartbeat with literally no warning, the other: they have no in between phase. Not only can they go into full tantrum mode at the drop of the hat, they can go back to normal in the same time span, and then expect you to be "nice" with them again.

Rational thinking exists only for special occasions - you can argue with kids, they will understand. But when it comes to the specific situation more often than not it gets down to: I understood your opinion and it's likely valid, but I like mine better.

Disturbance - if you are at home, the kids will assume you are available. If they assume you are available, you will be literally unable to sit two minutes in peace and quiet. This is of course situational, but more often than not it is true .

Eating - You might have heard it, but even totally normal kids have this phase where they will eat NOTHING but pasta and maybe mashed potatoes without protest. Oh... and sweets. Everything else prompts lengthy discussions about why they should eat that. (that's not true for every kid, but for many)

Refusing tasks - they don't want to do it? Prepare for hour-long discussions or severe conflict. Bonus points if you are in a hurry.

Everything only after it's too late - not all kids do that, but most don't have any understanding of timelines. If you give them a deadline, they will literally start at the very last moment and inevitably fail, then wail and scream, when consequences are on the table. Ironically the same is true for punishment. They will only realize they effed up, once the punishment IS in place - and then of course it's all your fault, even when said punishment literally is just due to the circumstances as in: now we can't go to eat ice-cream, because it took you so long to dress that the parlour is closed.

Cuddling - don't get me wrong, I love cuddling the kids. But the thing is: they do not just want that when you want them to (more often than not that's the time when they don't). They want to cuddle when you have no time, when you are angry at them or dead tired. When you have to do literally anything other than that - and you cannot just tell them no either, because they need to feel loved.

Rules - all kids reach the point somewhere, when they treat rules like cats do. They constantly have to test them and see what they can get away with. Like... I wasn't allowed to eat chocolate before breakfast yesterday... but.. how about today? Only consequent keeping those rules will save you. Maybe

Energy - it's not per se a bad thing, but still true. You have gone out with them, ran around for hours and hours. You are exhausted. You get home, looking forward to put your feet up, and the kids... they just drink something and are like: can we go again?

This list is of course far from exhaustive, so feel free to add, but I hope it helps with some writing on kids.

[literaphobe]

I am sorry to disturb you but sometimes I stay up at night, lying awake in my bed at 3am, staring up at the ceiling as I think about how they did ladynoir dirty and I wanted to talk to someone who understands 😭😭😭

Like let adriennette happen. Let it happen. BUT AT LEAST LET THE GHOST OF LADYNOIR HAUNT THEM. Let it be a question mark. A brushed away thought. An untapped yearning. Don’t give us one tsukuyomi episode and then act as if that wiped the slate of four seasons of a situationship cleannnn 😭😭😭😭

I just feel so cheated. That season 4 finale. THE SEASON 5 POSTER. We were so sure and then we we were left with our hands empty empty empty

HI OMG!!! first of all PLEASE do not apologize because i seriously love love LOVE getting asks and i LOVE talking about ladynoir

secondly yes most of my free time is spent working on my ladynoir fic and when im on tiktok i see ladynoir edits and i am simultaneously so sad and so happy all the time. ALSO YEAH. like um i guess i get why they can't lean too heavy into ladynoir bc they are SO chemistry and we can't make them look like they're cheating on themselves but i MISS THEM and i want to see them so bad all the time. stanning ladynoir in s5 is like being obsessed w that one random side character and screaming crying throwing up when u see them show up on screen like YASSSS GO BABY GIRLS!

anyway i have decided to cope by being extremely delusional and overreading into every little thing ladynoir related on the show. and also overattributing value to every tiny interaction they have

i think ultimately no matter what we have to remember that ladynoir STILL has a romantic history and chat noir and ladybug did not fall in love with each other for no reason!! think of them rn as two people who almost dated and are now trying to be really chill and cool about the fact that they VERY RECENTLY got very uber sad and pissed about getting tricked into thinking they got married and had a family together AND now um boom suddenly they're both dating other people and its totally awesome and fun and they're not in a strange ambiguous situation anymore and now they have to NOT accidentally brush hands when theyre on patrol and this is a normal thing to think about

re the whole ladynoir arc and how things will play out I GENUINELY THINK adrienette will break up at some point bc this show IS like the drama show and it has a minimum of 3 more seasons left AND the love square is never be stable for long and ifl that will always be the message pre-reveal. like if u have 2 identities each that all constantly interact (ladynoir and adrienette) u will always eventually feel conflicted between both identities bc that's how perfect u r for each other! the whole point is that a reveal would eventually solve everything and thats why pre-reveal love square is always doomed. i love suffering btw. ANYWAY adrienette rn is interesting bc they're getting closer but also facing problems at the same time and i think their time as a couple will make them so very interesting like. as exes. SORRY im not preying on their downfall I HAVE ADRIENETTE VISIONS TOO and i think exes adrienette who r more comfortable w each other should have a fight someday where its v obvious they still want each other but idk theres like problems abound and shit. WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN <- crazy person

tldr i think the ghost of ladynoir will haunt them soon!! hopefully!! in the meantime lets be unnecessarily delusional!!!!!!!!! also lets talk about ladynoir all the time i always understand bro