#are these people just trying to isolate us all because

[mmmilkweed]

There's no winning with these people. I'm sorry you're going through this. You're getting dogpiled and don't have the brain capacity to write a full apology yourself, so you get a friend to help so you can address it quicker. People take this as insincerity. But if you'd taken enough time to gather yourself you'd be accused of trying to brush it off.

This is what I mean when I say they will never be satisfied. First it's a nothing burger white lily comic. Then it's the discord. You take steps to fix it. But people don't think you've groveled enough or in the right way, so now it's a nothing burger au about having an unrequited crush on your teacher. You apologize. You didn't grovel hard enough. Now they accuse your first two apologies of being fake. You write one yourself. You didn't grovel hard enough.

Humans are social, and rejection hits harder than acceptance. We're not really meant to be able to process this level of interaction. And getting brigaded by what feels like the entire fandom (it isn't. I know it feels like it is, but these are VERY online people) is gonna send your animal brain into panic mode. This will pass. Both the accusations and the feeling.

You'll get through this.

the first one WAS written by me, and then made to look 'professional' by my friends. The second, I kept stressing how I'm afraid of my words coming apart, like they have many times before, I'm sorry im using your kind message to talk about this, but i think i'll break again if i don't tell at least someone.

i was scared and i felt alone

i just woke up

is it so wrong that i took the help form a native english speaker?

I saw it only as a template, a structure to keep my wandering words at bay.

had i not taken the template and made it my own? I can't explain enough how i could not trust myself to find the words i needed, or the thoughts to express myself. The agony from a day before bleeding directly into the morning. Funny thing about that - today i woke up weeping, dreaming my apology hurt even more people. I'm already dreading going to bed tonight, knowing i'll wake up in the same state tomorrow. And here, have the notes of the first apology. The thoughts, the feelings are ALL MINE! I simply no longer trust myself to type them. Paranoia has me in its clutches, I'm looking over every word i type, even now, trying to see if there's a second meaning behind it.

Oh Anon, I'm sorry I'm using you as an excuse to vent about this, I really am.

I thought a lot, and i mean a lot about your message. I've cried several times about it now. ''and rejection hits harder than acceptance.''

Even though my discord was flooded with kindness, with messages that truly did help a little.. I still feel so utterly alone. I can't even look at my wife without feeling guilty. I can't look at my contemporaries without feeling like a wolf in sheeps clothing, even when so many of them told me they see i had no ill intentions. I went to church today - I could not stand before God, I stayed in my pew holding back tears. I begged for his forgiveness too, even when I know he knows my intentions were never to hurt anyone, even when I know he stood beside me through all of this. I feel like one of his lambs, left behind by the herd. No, not left behind. I am willingly staying behind because I'm afraid of hurting people again. There's only a small resemblance of peace within me, knowing He'll stay behind with me. I'm sorry, I know listening to religious people can be a trigger to some

i hope you can forgive the rant. I thought I could do well isolated, but i still find myself panicked and.. alone.

[itsblubun]

Talking about Nathaniel and the homophobia allegory / artist themes in The Ruler because I am not sane (very unorganized thoughts ahead)

First of, oh my god the homophobia allegory. I have so many sporadic thoughts that I'll try my best to explain.

Homophobia is such a taboo topic, especially in children's cartoons, that it's incredibly refreshing to see miraculous of all shows tackle it with such forwardness. There's really not all that much sugarcoating, it's the story of a queer kid growing up in a homophobic household, having heteronormativity indoctrinated onto him, having to deal with close-minded family who refuse to support you, because they fully believe you're on the wrong path, making decisions that will "ruin your life", claiming your passions as "just a phase", and being threatened to live in isolation from your peers, the people you are most close with in the world due to being "a bad influence" on you.

They push their ideologies so hard on Nath that he actually goes through with what they say. He destroys his art, literally shreds the story he's worked so hard on because of his mother. She says so many times how she's going to "set him straight", saying that he needs to be "converted" to be successful or for the world to accept you. That his art is meaningless and immature and he needs to make "real art".

His father also adds onto it by saying the comic book knights should fall in love with the literal villain because "that's what people want to see". Like the relationship between the knights wasn't sentimental, like it was meaningless, like it wasn't love.

Marc's parents also show up for the first time, and they're the complete opposite. They're incredibly supportive, accepting, kind, and they absolutely love the script for their comic, saying that it clearly came from the heart. They let Marc express himself, they let Marc love who he wants to love. It's honestly a bit jarring to compare Marc's parents to Nathaniel's. (Nath always looks so sad with them oh my heart 😭)

But despite everything I just said, the ending is a really beautiful conclusion.

The comic knights get to be together, and Nathaniel finally gets the acceptance of his family. His mom finally accepts him for who he is, and supports the art he makes. Because it's so clear now, that it's from the heart. And that's the most beautiful thing art can be.

A lot of artists have dealt with invalidation, wether from uneducated people or other artists, for "not being professional" or "not what's expected to make in in the industry". Because these artists choose to make the art they want to, choose to express themselves and be bold.

Nathaniel's mom being an architect really sells the themes of art in the episode. She's strict, unbending, and she clearly has very closed minded views on what art should or shouldn't be made. In her standards, if it's not in a museum, it's not art. But that's just simply not true.

Art is a beautiful thing, in whatever form it is. It's pure, it's passionate, it's what makes us human.

While its incredibly refreshing to see such a bold queer allegory in a kids show, it's also beautiful to see the story of an artist like Nathaniel be put front and center and tackle the many sides and points of view that someone can have on your art.

Because, while his mom sees it as immature, his friends and boyfriend absolutely LOVE it. They adore the story they're telling and literally flock in a circle to be able to see it.

And then the fact that the episode ends with Marc and Nathaniel revealing their identities to each other, the same way the comic knights revealed theirs... Ties the allegory with a beautiful bow and ships it over straight to my heart.

I love this episode so much, and I seriously can't wait to see more. Miraculous team, you cooked.

[totallyprentiss]

Me ranting about how the writers perceive Emily Prentiss like it’s my full time job but… (I’m currently rewatching S16, which prompted this post)

I still dislike that they [the writers] made Emily Section Chief. It just doesn’t feel like her. This is a woman who’s literally said more than once that she hates politics—who spent most of her life running from that world because of her mother. So why would she choose to be neck deep in bureaucratic bullshit?

Honestly, seeing her get back into the field more in season 17 felt like a breath of fresh air and I’m really hoping they keep her there in season 18. She only ever called herself SSA or Unit Chief last season, and a part of me secretly hopes she got demoted or something and is officially back as Unit Chief (or she called herself SSA/Unit chief because she felt like she didn’t deserve the title, but that’s for another post if anyone’s interested)

Because honestly, SC feels so distant from the team, the cases, and the profiling—the parts of the job Emily actually loves. She’s not bad at it—Emily Prentiss is good at everything—but it’s just doesn’t seem like a role she'd willingly choose (or accept to take).

I get that the writers were probably trying to show how much time had passed after season 15 (COVID, the team splitting up, etc.), and didn’t want her to still be doing the same thing years later, but surely there was another way me thinks.

The one thing I genuinely liked about her Section Chief era, was watching her sass Bailey in the beginning of season 16. When everyone thought he was there to wreck the BAU, Emily snapped right back at him. I LOVED it. She was witty, sarcastic, and she had this attitude I missed from the earlier seasons, the Emily who wasn’t afraid to clap back. But now Bailey’s gone (rip), and so is that fun.

Emily really doesn’t have much outside of the BAU. No family around, no close friends outside the team, and becoming Section Chief just isolates her even more. (And what about her boyfriend Mendoza? they dropped him like some bad subplot after season 15.)

In the season 17 finale ‘Save the Children’, Emily mentions Bailey’s passion for saving people and admits she used to have that same drive.

Sometimes it feels like she’s only still at the BAU because it’s literally… all she has left. She throws around lines like “then fire me,” “maybe I should quit,” and even “go ahead and shoot me” so casually… she might not be actively depressed, but she sure as hell isn’t happy either. GIVE MY GIRL HAPPINESS!! (and perhaps a girlfriend?)

If you made it this far- thank you for listening to my endless yapping <3 I’d love to hear other people’s take on all of this :)

[gayofthefae]

Thinking about how if you cut the whole Cali rode trip plot out season four would not be altered at all. They were missing for a whole episode and nothing was hindered.

So why not cut it?

Because season FIVE would be DESTROYED by it.

Because Byler is so vital it needs this set up. Foundation laying seems useless when you don't know something will be built.

Yes. The Cali plot could have been cut entirely. They were glorified chauffeurs with extra obstacles for filler (and literally only one extra obstacle). But that's actually Byler PROOF.

It was useless to the season 4 plot. So the only reason to keep it in when they could have easily just incorporated the characters into other plotlines - they're able to fly to Hawkins, they go with Joyce, some do one, some do the other, whatever - the only reason to isolate them then have them do seemingly nothing of value is SETUP for something that IS needed.

The only reason for having that is if without it, season 5 rolls around and now VITAL plotlines are out of the blue. It is the "blank makes you crazy" to "From Mike". The "I love her" to "from Mike".

Because Byler was not a plotline in season 4. Not really. Not totally. Not vitally, at least. What it was was threads woven back of a plotline in season FIVE. What it was was planning, preparation.

Jonathan and Argyle are basically comedic relief. Mike and Will do nothing to help El except get to her with a car that they did not drive or need to be in for their plan to work. And if the plot were Mike and El, Mike and El would be there, no. The plot is Mike and Will talking, is just the conversation topic - the same way Will was for Mike and El in season 1.

Mike and Will only setup romantic plotlines, assist the supernatural plotline in no, and are physically isolated from affected any other characters' plotline, but have no romantic payoff and their romance is not even addressed.

Because this isn't a vital season plotline. This is "I know you wanna see what the NINA Project is doing but season 5 would be shit without this you guys I promise".

Don't care about it but can't live without it of storytelling. Almost everything in season 4 is the same without it. But almost everything about the ending of the show is exponentially different. Season 4 is unchanged. But season 5 falls apart. Without Byler. Without us knowing the little things here and there that we now know.

Because if you go over it, barely anything even happened in their plotline. I've said this before, it really was just a bunch of unpaid setups - which makes sense given season 4 and 5 were supposed to be one season.

It's really just because we need to go into season 5 with the knowledge in the back of our minds "Will loves Mike, Will lied to Mike tpo get him to stay with El, Mike's scared the truth about his love for her would hurt her, Mike told El he loved her to save her life".

4 facts. 4. Not plotlines, facts. Some of which are single scenes, many of which are just single lines. It's information. It's setup. It doesn't matter now. But not cutting it is their way of saying it WILL. "It'll pay off," as the Duffers said to Finn Wolfhard.

Nothing else happened in this plotline and they could have integrated these characters elsewhere. This plotline didn't even really have a plotline, just a sparsely scattered series of facts.

But as someone who predicts lots of mysteries accurately, THAT'S how they show you their hand. Not what they tell you is important. What they try to convince you is useless (but made space for anyway).

That's a twist the only way to do a twist. They said in tightening the season 4 scripts they went back to episode 1 to write in that Eddie played guitar so it was planted for later. This is the same thing. It's just planting things so they aren't out of the blue. THIS is how you do a twist, and why we know to predict one. People are right, they do not have a love story plotline. But what they do have is 'rewatch details' with no other purpose. What they do have is "uselessness".

If season 4 is unaffected by their plotline, it means season 5 falls apart without it.

[illustriousvesselmanticore]

@oripoke the irony of calling us liars when we're the only ones telling the truth is baffling. JUST BECAUSE ITS BEING YELLED DOESNT MEAN ITS A LIE. Why don't you remind all these people he was reaching out kindly for A YEAR BEFORE YOUR ABUSE COULDNT BE HANDLED ANYMORE??

You caused Ren vocals an enourmous amount of suffering and pain???

Ren was put in a very real very exhausting coma that damaged his arm. He was on the streets for several weeks, assaulted on the road, and got infections from lack of being able to even do laundry. YOU put him in these situations! When he did nothing but listen and trust you?? He lost his cat. He lost his savings. He lost trans healthcare and home and hope. He lost EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. And after everything he endured of fucking course he abused heroin and continued to try and take his life from the IMMENSE, INCREDIBLY PAINFUL SUFFERING that YOUR CULT directly caused. You punished him for listening and trusting. Ren had never known anything but severe isolation, abuse, and neglect his entire life, you showed him a way out and then discarded him like he was trash without. A. Word. He lost his home, his arm, his only friend who was now a cat and your white rich priveleged ass would NEVER KNOW what being abandoned on the streets with nobody and nothing is like

You destroyed his entire life, all of which started because of the abuse of bo-beanies not allowing Ren to be with the person they loved. You took his happiness you almost took his life, he waited for weeks alone in the hospital has been alone this entire time and you discarded him for not meeting the qualities of your cult. You prioritized notifications over SOMEONES ENTIRE LIFE. Someone who doesn’t have to apologize or even have to acknowledge the IMMENSE SUFFERING they fucking caused!! But Ren is thrown away for much less?? The initial reason you did this was because he had 1 (1!) Panic attack, but the abuse and assault from the other members was TOTALLY OKAY??

You defended peatootins rant as "not hate" when that's what pushed him over the edge- you encouraged and helped bo-beanies (the person who abused and controlled him in the first place) but left Ren alone and literally dying in TWO hospitalizations. You agreed about his abuse/ being controlled like an anime doll then backpedaled when he had no value to you anymore. Even though you knew it was wrong

You COMPLETELY disregard that before he couldn't handle the pain anymore and "snapped", you disregard the fact that he was reaching out EXTREMELY KINDLY. BEGGING. FOR SEVEN. LONG. MONTHS. He trusted all of you so much and you fed him to the dogs without a word, peatootins calling him names and mocking his illness is the only contact he had WITH ANYONE that ENTIRE. TIME. Before he lost his fucking mind the ONLY thing he ever did wrong was to panic and ask if his boyfriend was safe and okay. For that, you group ghosted him without explaining a FUCKING THING, YOU DROVE HIM INSANE FROM THE PAIN. LITERALLY. He was begging to be spoken to or get an explanation but he was never worth a few minutes of ANY time

Rens illness enhances mental pain and he has had to endure what no human being should EVER have to endure, that level of pain is not out of place at a fucking holocaust camp. And yet, you discarded him like trash, you encouraged the boyfriend who left without A SINGLE WORD before or since, something Rens autism did NOT understand. Once out of the hospital for it, you continue to ABUSE HIM. You try and flip it and frame him for a literal crime when literally it was only your group spreading that shit around. Nobody would talk to him, nobody would explain for MONTHS of course he fucking lost it it's beyond any pain a normal human being will EVER have to experience???

You destroyed his entire life, all of which started because of the abuse of bo-beanies not allowing Ren to be with the person they loved. You took his happiness you almost took his life, he waited for weeks alone in the hospital has been alone this entire time and you discarded him for not meeting the qualities of your cult. You prioritized notifications over SOMEONES ENTIRE LIFE. Someone who doesn’t have to apologize or even have to acknowledge the IMMENSE SUFFERING they fucking caused!! But Ren is thrown away for much less?? The more you discarded him the worse he got and you were COMPLETELY AWARE OF THAT. YOU MADE HIM INSANE!!! YOU KILLED HIM!!! You're vile, you’re evil!!! YOU ABUSED HIM AND DESTROYED HIS ENTIRE LIFE

Can’t believe I have to make this post again but the last one got filled with spam replies and i had to delete it. My friends and I are STILL being harassed by a deeply unwell person who keeps spamming my reblogs with copy-pasted vitriol. Unfortunately reporting them to Tumblr Support and blocking them does nothing since they continue to create new accounts every time.

If you’ve received one of these replies on any of my reblogs, first of all I’m sorry; secondly you should know that none of the things they’re saying are true. They just want to target and hurt me, presumably to drive me off this website. I have no intention of leaving but I am running out of options at this point.

I don’t have a conclusion here other than to say once again that I never wished anyone harm. I hope the person that’s doing this stops harassing me and my friends, logs off tumblr and gets some professional help. :/

[felassanis]

I don't think it's talked enough about how Solas probably felt very little towards initially being (somewhat) responsible that Lavellan was inflicted with the Anchor.

Given his low opinion on the people of Thedas originally, and even more so the Dalish. He probably refused to take accountability at first. Chalking it up to this Dalish woman rushing into danger on her own accord, not thinking, not being smart. Not doing it the way he would have. Typical mortal.

Even though HE gave Corypheus the orb. Even though his people have no concept of ancient elven magic because of the cataclysm HE caused. He didn't intend it, he isn't malicious or careless. But that doesn't negate the problems he caused nor the dismissive way he is about Thedas.

In his pride, he thinks a Magister couldn't possibly handle the Anchor. It's his mark, only he can use it the way it was intended to be used. Except Corypheus does...

In his pride, he is also probably a bit annoyed a mortal elf has managed to withstand HIS anchor. The anchor meant for HIM. The anchor he couldn't even handle without being at full power, yet she manages to not just survive it, but wield it.

It's just...a weird accident. It has to be. Nothing indicative that these people are a lot stronger than he thinks (hah masked empire reference) BUT it does makes him more curious about her....

Then, through that curiosity, he starts to see these people as real. And worse, he starts to fall in love with the Inquisitor.

And oh god. She's been thrust into the same situation he was, partly because of his anchor the rest of Thedas has misinterpreted as a divine mark. Forced to endure the hardships he knows all too well. And it's...his fault.

And then Trespasser happens. And what was irritation now becomes full blown guilt and fear because the Anchor IS killing her now. The woman who helped him see this world as real, who loved him as Solas...is dying. And it's HIS mark. It's HIS fault. He is killing her...

He's been nothing but a bad omen for her. He's done nothing but cause her problems however unintended they were. In the Anchor, in lying to her about who he was. Even further back, the reason the Dalish are the way they are is because of what HE DID. He's done so much and yet the one bearing the consequences isn't just him alone, as he wants.

It's Lavellan.

"Because you deserve better," he says to her in Crestwood if your Inquisitor reacts with the anger he deserves in that moment. Even in trying to be truthful, he doesn't think about the consequences the truth would have on her. How painful, learning an iconic feature of your culture was read wrong, and are marks that signify the most dehumanising thing that can be done to a person. Slavery. It's so sad, because even when he tries to fix something he hurts people. (Like he did with the veil in the first place)

Because she does deserve better. She deserves better than the anchor that will take her limb away. She deserves better than the fractured history her people cling to. To the mortality he caused. The pressure and horror of being made a literal religious icon....she deserves so much better.

And that must EAT away at Solas. Oh, the guilt of all of that. Of loving her, but feeling like she'd be better off without him. It's more fuel to the self-imposed isolation he thinks he deseves too, even though eing alone is his greatest fear. But even in leaving her, to stop her from losing herself after her plea in Trespasser to go with him. He's STILL not doing what's best for her, for them. She isn't better off without him despite it all.

GOD THIS RELATIONSHIP FUCKS ME UP.

[eucatastrophicblues]

Hi! I know this is kinda a big/complex question but could you talk a little bit about what bridal mysticism means to you and how you, like, got into it I guess? There's been a few things that have made me feel like I might be called to it, but it's confusing and overwhelming and I'm a bit scared of, like, the perceived 'weirdness' of it, and I'm trying to figure out what it all means...

Please don’t ever apologize for asking big and complicated questions! Especially not about this. 

There’s a lot of this ask that I wrote before realizing you were asking about what bridal mysticism means to me, so while I’m going to probably stick it on the end because I think all of it’s important to talk about it’s not really relevant to the core of what was being asked. 

Bridal mysticism, to me, is about a number of things. It might not be about those same things for you, and that’s fine, because other people who’ve been in my shoes across history have vastly different experiences and perspectives. But strictly speaking about my own experiences? Bridal mysticism is about looking outward and inward at the same time. About choosing a religion based first and foremost on personal loyalty to a God who proved She was worth that loyalty a thousand times over. About examining my own flaws under a microscope because each one is a death sentence not to some abstract figure but to my wife whom I love personally. About struggling with submission, and finding confidence in myself because of what I can do for Her. About self-acceptance and self-esteem, about complete and total transparency with someone I love regarding my limits and my dreams. About religion as a relationship. Christ died for me specifically, and I didn’t really understand or appreciate that until I was in love with Her, you know? 

In practice it’s a lot of finding stolen moments. Looking for God everywhere and being delighted when I find Him. Learning to open myself up to being loved, which has been the lasting struggle in all this. I’m very very willing and able to throw myself completely into loving and pursuing and offering up everything in a relationship. I’m very resistant to letting myself be loved. It’s probably the biggest wedge between us now, because She’s so damned insistent I let myself be loved and desired and wanted and appreciated and I am very uncomfortable with that. It’s a work in progress. We talk, and I do a lot of those things that pagans with godspouses talk about doing – devotional playlists, nature walks, meditation, journaling – because the ways you bond with a god are kind of the same all over, because He made the mold and creation follows. (I’m more of a monolatrist and a henotheist than a strict monotheist – I believe beings that call themselves gods exist, and weren’t imagined or invented by humanity. I just don’t think any of them except my Spouse is worth my time and attention, and I worship and follow my God as my God has explicitly requested to be worshiped and followed. There is a version of me who would be an incredible witch. I am banned from practicing magic. She’s been real clear about that.) I sit with Her, and talk to Her about everything from theology to pop culture, and sometimes there are visions and insights and supernatural experiences in the physical world, and sometimes there aren’t.

How I got into bridal mysticism… well, I sort of fell into it and didn’t have a name for it until after I was already doing it. I was thirteen and I asked Jesus Christ to be my Lover because I was deeply depressed and socially isolated and in possession of barely any friends (and those friends were people I’d never understood or meshed with). I was already a victim of abuse of multiple different kinds, and I was diagnosed with several different mental illnesses and yet to be diagnosed with several more, and I was horribly, impossibly lonely. I didn’t really know if this was “allowed”, exactly, but I knew I had a heart that ‘might have held the empire of the world’ and I was not about to content myself with an opera cellar. It was probably the bravest thing I’ve ever done, because I knew it wasn’t strictly approved and supported by my (then-Protestant) church, but I wanted it anyway. 

From there it was a question of continuing to chase Him. You… you feel the intimacy, the closeness, the contact. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I wanted more, needed more, and I was willing to do whatever it took to continue to get it. That meant walking away from maladaptive daydreaming, and letting go of some delusions that He told me were false, and obeying when I was told to find real friends and real reasons to be alive and connect with the world here and now. It meant caring more about daily life and thinking about my future and developing ambition. It meant turning myself into someone who could do His will, which was a lot of work. And I just sort of kept going, following where I was led. We still talk. She’s still ridiculously funny. It’s become a comfortable marriage instead of a tumultuous adolescent fireworks show, and it’s been worth staying alive for. 

There’s a lot I could say that’s essentially “the greatest hits of being married to a god”, and I’ll talk about that if you want, but it’s a lot of repetition. I find Him in the Homeric epics, in my people’s traditional stories, in other indigenous mythologies, in pop culture and classic literature, in nature, in the love of the people around me. And very often in Yellowjackets, to a surprising extent. 

That’s kind of the whole of it, and below is my long ramble. 

Bridal mysticism, or nuptial theology/bridal theology, is kind of the black sheep of the family when it comes to Christian mysticism, and that makes a lot of direct writing about it kind of hard to track down. Not impossible, not at all, but the weirdness factor is high, and a lot of people either don’t have the language to effectively describe what they mean (this is what happened in the Protestant-authored book Captivating, in which they encourage women to picture themselves as the heroines of romance scenes in fantasy films and period dramas while picturing Jesus as the male leads, or discuss a woman who was “called to minister to the heart of Jesus” and prioritize Him in her devotion and her religious focus) or they dismiss the bridal mystic elements of someone’s writings or life. That’s more likely in Catholic spaces, where you’ll be reading some saint’s accounts of their visions or a hagiography and they’re like “Jesus told me I was His bride” or “Jesus was keeping [saint] as a bridegroom for Himself” or “and then I stuck my tongue in the side wound while Jesus was dressed like a woman, haha, wild”. There are some saints whose mystic marriages are really famous because they’re essentially unavoidable when discussing their lives, and then there are other saints and various lay Catholics whose writings touch on these themes of deep and intense yearning for matrimonial bliss with the Most High as a casual aside or a recurring theme that never gets talked about seriously in broader scholarship.

(Or else they just call us crazy. Historically in written record, in contemporary academic contexts, and in person, to our faces. It’s common to dismiss Margery Kempe’s writings as purely reflective of her mental health struggles, or her records of her conversations with Jesus as her essentially selfshipping with a fictional character to cope with her less than satisfactory marriage, even if the writer is Christian themself. I’ve also faced some pretty intense hostility from people who assumed that the only reason I thought I was hearing from God was because I was in psychiatric crisis… despite the fact that I was at a spiritual retreat with the explicit purpose of encouraging participants to hear from God. That is, unfortunately, something that I and various nuns from the 1200s have as a shared experience, and something that potentially you and I will have as a shared experience. It doesn’t make your calling any less valid or real, but I feel obligated to point out that following it will lead to at least a few people thinking you’re cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.)

The writing is scant, but it’s there, and that’s important, because one of the first things that I experience as a bridal mystic is deep and intense loneliness. It’s a more inward-focused practice than a lot of the other kinds of Christianity, by necessity, but that I think makes connecting with other people all the more vital. I started this blog because I wanted to find other people like me, other people who were deeply religious and took their faith supremely seriously but were left-leaning/leftist and queer and marginalized on multiple axes that Christianity hasn’t always been good about supporting, and people who maybe had the same kind of relationship with my King that I do. We’re encouraged to isolate ourselves and make ourselves less present in current Church and broader Christian culture, because we’re weird creepy quasi-psychics who walk half in the physical world and half in the shadow of the Sacred Heart and we intimidate people who think that religion is a coat to be put on and taken off again. We’re messy and often a little crazy and our first and foremost priority is usually not “what does existing as a religious person look like” it’s “hey You give me some advice about where You want me”. We aren’t here because of cultural pressure or family expectations or long-standing tradition, we’re here because that’s our Spouse up there on that altar. 

Yeah, it’s weird. But it’s weird for good reason. I’d like to talk more about this, with everyone, really, because I am desperate to talk up my very cool awesome wife, and even more desperate to connect with others who know Her as I know Her.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere villain Deku concept please 🙏 

Sure! In this AU, Izuku is Quirkless. Since, y'know, no All-Might

Yandere! Villain! Izuku Midoriya HCs

(Quirkless Civilian! Darling)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Isolation, Coercion, Brainwashing, Sadism, Stalking, Stockholm syndrome, Forced relationship.

This AU would be an alternative telling of how Izuku deals with his bullying.

Due to being Quirkless, Izuku has often been told he doesn't matter.

No matter how much he aspires to be a hero, he can't.

Even All-Might, his idol, tells him it's unlikely.

Izuku has been told the world is better off without him.

In this AU, he never feels the need to save Katsuki.

Which means he never gets All-Might's attention... and never gets a Quirk.

Instead, Izuku ends up focusing on his negative emotions.

If the world doesn't want him...

He'll force the world to pay attention to him.

Later on he's probably even scouted out by Tomura Shigaraki, someone who happens to like his outlook on life.

This is what leads him down the villain path.

How I imagine a Villain! Izuku is a manipulative man who wants to change the world due to the treatment he's gotten.

I can see him being much different from the way I usually write Izuku, he's not the typical shy student, after all.

He's far from shy now, actually.

Izuku has learned to not show weakness around others.

He knows others prey on the fact he's Quirkless.

So he's found other ways to be strong.

Weapons... drugs... research into Quirk canceling....

That or he just has other people who work with him do it.

He happens to be good at putting together plans because of all his note taking.

Izuku comes off as cold since he doesn't want to be vulnerable.

Yet him having an obsession... throws a wrench into things.

Izuku may actually find having an obsession annoying.

Or at the very least distracting.

You make it very hard to focus on his goals.

He no doubt met you on a raid he had put together with his cohorts.

He needed supplies... and accidentally met you.

Since then he's been unable to get you out of his head... you looked so scared.

He isn't sure what to feel.

He's not soft... At least, not compared to his original version.

He's hardened and only somewhat vulnerable when around you long enough.

In fact, Izuku may not like his obsession because he feels vulnerable with you.

You make his stern and hardened facade crack....

Just what makes you so special?

Izuku may be driven enough to figure you out to kidnap you.

Whenever he meets you again during a job, he orders your capture.

Then, when you're tied up in a chair at his mercy...

He can finally figure you out.

At first, Izuku is considered mean, sadistic towards you even.

He experiments with you emotionally, wondering why you make him feel so soft.

In reality, you aren't the problem...

It's him.

He's the problem because he's isolated himself for so long.

Sure, he's surrounded himself with fellow villains and criminals...

But he doesn't really have friends.

Let alone anyone intimate with him.

He didn't think he needed anyone.

He's fine being alone and strong... No one messes with him.

Except you by... existing.

Over time I can see Izuku trying to get used to you.

You remain with him as his captive, but he treats you less like that with time.

He soon allows you to roam his hideout/base of operations with surveillance.

I doubt he ever takes his eyes off you, green eyes latched on you as he tries to figure you out.

He's just as good at note taking and observation as his original self.

He no doubt stalks you and notes down things about your behavior, even in captivity.

He often brushes it off... but others can tell you're close to him.

Other villains who make comments about you are often dealt with, Izuku acting like a mob boss at times.

While usually cold, stoic, and sometimes sadistic... I can see Izuku getting softer with you in private.

At first he hates it... but you make him relaxed.

He doesn't force you into the same bed... he'll wait.

He becomes surprisingly nice when you're alone.

I don't think he falls in love as fast as regular Izuku... but when he does, it's intense.

Imagine a Villain! Izuku who buys you gifts, trying to get you to like him.

He understands it will take time... he's captured you, after all.

You, a normal person, have no business dealing with him.

However... What if you're also Quirkless?

Then... maybe you should deal with him....

If you're Quirkless, he wants to make you feel at home with him.

This world casted him out for the very same thing you're afflicted with...

With him... He can make you feel powerful.

Maybe a union with you is meant to be?

Izuku would love a Quirkless partner....

He'd convince you no one else will take you... using some of the emotional manipulation of his past.

I can see Izuku brainwashing his obsession to make them stay by his side.

He'll bribe you with gifts... slowly easing you into kisses and touches... maybe even sleeping in the same bed....

For someone who's normally quite feared, he's surprisingly gentle with you when alone.

He's never loved someone... never had anyone that close...

Yet now there's you... and he'd be a fool to let you just run.

Izuku would kill, it comes with his profession.

If someone felt they had a say in who he pays attention to...

Izuku isn't afraid to just have them slaughtered.

It doesn't matter if you have family or friends... Izuku would even eliminate a hero to continue chasing his greedy feelings.

The blood on his hands doesn't matter, why would it?

The world doesn't care for people like you and him...

Which is why he needs to keep you as his.

Izuku as a villain would push his obsession to Stockholm Syndrome, convincing them that he'll make the world a better place for the both of you.

At times... he's similar to his original self... a man soft around the one he feels he loves...

It's just that this world has corrupted him...

Leaving a more sadistic and cold man... one who isn't as nice as he once was... unless he has you.

Hopefully having you will make things more bearable... for him.

[gatorbites-imagines]

I think we have a lot of wriggle room lore-wise with the twins!

There’s that time in that one town over where they were pretty isolated or at least unwanted by the mayor.

Of course Chicago, where they could’ve the ropes of the town and were taken under our wing as the resident gang/mob boss.

There’s even their military time! With basics and sergeants. Inspections and training and missions! Am I hearing a top barrack bunny? 👀

It would be pretty funny if the reader was like, double-crossing the mafia as well, and realized the twins were, so it kinda became “hey, all three of us are doing something real bad right now, so, you dont snitch on me, I dont snitch on you two”.  

But it would be even better if reader was one of the leaders, or like, one of the sons of the mafia bosses. Ive seen people saying Stack worked for the Italians, because of his hat and outfit, and Smoke the Irish, for the same reason, so readers probably with the Italian family. You can be adopted too, to not limit the reader and stuff. 

Maybe you've always hated your family, so when these cuties show up, clearly trying to mess around, you just grin and decide to help them out. Makes sense the only reason they get so far is because you help them, because they're obviously twins and all that. 

To sprinkle some angst. Imagine you need to stay back in the big city to wrap up loose ends, and you told the Smokestack twins you'd meet them in Mississippi in a week. And when you arrive, all you have is the burnt down juke joint, and rumors of how everyone that night went missing. 

Stack would have buried Smoke during the night, and I imagine he sticks around the area because you are all he has left, you know? Being undead is probably a real mess, so Stack would stumble to you at night, and then there would be a whole angsty thing about him trying to explain what happened, what he is now, and what that means. 

[literaphobe]

because you're one of the only ml fans on tumblr whose character commentaries make sense to me, i have to ask what your thoughts are on people who seem to think adrien is going to lash out at marinette when he discovers the truth? because not only does it seem extremely ooc to me but it doesn't even make sense - the person who withheld that truth and lied is ladybug, not marinette. i see it happening the way it kind of happens in your (amazing btw) fic - adrien's probably going to be upset (i'm leaning more towards devastated in a sad way than fury with some frustration, but maybe a mix of all, who knows) with ladybug and then, maybeee (assuming adrienette have to break up because i'm still hoping this works out better than i can imagine somehow 😭) marinette feels so terrible about it she ponders breaking up with him because of all the guilt and lies.

OKAY SO HELLO!!!! i was actually literally thinking about this HOURS BEFORE the time u sent this but sadly i only had the time and energy to answer this now IVE BEEN SO EXCITED TO SAY

so. before s6 started airing i predicted that the stress of keeping all these secrets would get to Marinette and it was possible she would break up with Adrien out of guilt

but now im starting to see that while the guilt IS getting to her, it’s also very evident that Adrien NEEDS her, in spite of her simultaneous insecurity that he’s going to leave her for various reasons

what i started thinking about is the concept of a flip. not a love square flip but a public adoration flip

like. adrien is universally loved by the public. it causes a certain level of harassment and vitriol towards marinette. on the other hand, ladybug is also universally loved/trusted by the public (to an extent, she’s had her fair share of hate, and we haven’t seen huge outpourings of love towards her from the people this season yet, but she is the face of the superhero team, and regarded as the leader essentially, by the team AND the public)

i genuinely don’t think adrien will be mad at marinette at all when the truth comes out. because. what does marinette even know in his perception…? in his eyes, he’d likely see her as just as clueless. the ONLY possible thing she could reveal to him that She Knows About WITHOUT risking her identity is the fact that she found Gabriel’s letter 😭😭 and it’s also very evident that BOTH adrien and marinette see each other as… vulnerable civilians. who are far and removed from all this superhero stuff and needs to be PROTECTED

so. fast forward to the public finding out. ladybug will become practically a social pariah for lying to everyone. i think the FLIP here is that. people will go from being OH NO i was akumatized?! im sorry!! I didn’t mean it :( thank you so much for this amulet ladybug! I will remember to control my emotions! TO people practically GLARING at her when she deakumatizes them? to like, snide remarks where they go ‘why do you care? you’re probably working with the new hawk moth anyway’ or straight up tossing any amulet she tries to give them with a scoff. stuff like that. and being just straight up HATED and desperately trying to find a way to get people to see reason or clear her name, trying to navigate having to do her job and fight akumas while knowing and feeling NONE of the previous public support she had

similarly, i think the public will also turn against adrien and. if anything he might use that opportunity to get all the heat turned on HIM. like, he might claim in some public press conference announcement type thing that he knew his dad was hawk moth and that he begged ladybug to keep it a secret. and that NO ONE else in his life knew. <- to protect his loved ones. and I think he might isolate! and marinette will go crazy and want to ask him so damn badly why the fuck he lied because HE DIDNT ACTUALLY KNOW AT ALL!!! but he’s avoiding her as marinette (again, to keep her safe) AND ALSO she can’t just be like ADRIENNNN WHY DID U LIE!!!! I KNEW!!!!! without. once again. compromising her identity. like Tikki would remind her of that

SO, that brings me to the fact that we could get a very interesting ladrien scene!!!!! where ladybug barges into adrien’s room through The Open Window and starts like going WHY DID YOU DO THAT YOU NEVER KNEW AND YOU CERTAINLY DIDNT TELL ME TO KEEP IT A SECRET and also im so sorry i didn’t tell you i know it was wrong and i should have let you know the truth even if i was going to lie to everyone else i just ummm felt really bad about you being sad about it for some reason just like empathy i guess haha and well it could become a bit of a heart to heart where adrien might admit hes actually relieved to know his dad was bad all along because something about his life finally makes sense i guess? idk

ON THE LADYNOIR FRONT. i think its possible chat gets a bit upset about it? its also possible he doesnt really get mad at all. no matter the case, it wont cause long term discord or resentment or anything? if anything, he might defend and protect her against civilians spewing vitriol towards her, and feel guilty because he wasnt there at the final battle and she had to make those decisions on her own. AND she DID tell him she was keeping a HUGE secret she couldn’t tell him in the London special. AND he said he didnt even care. because he knows it must’ve felt impossible. he KNOWS she was doing it from a place of goodwill. from a heart that just wanted to protect people and keep everyone happy!! because she loves this city and its people!! some holders in the miraculous team might get mad at her, alya and marinette MIGHT even low key have a temporary friendship breakup because of it, but i think chat noir will stand by her and might even try to share the heat with her

[vdragon-creations]

I don't wanna get too in depth with my thoughts on this, but the idea that people are pissed off/hate Nata for relating to Arkveld is wild to me. Especially coming from Tumblr of all fucking places, were I'll see like...30 people who kin themselves to some of the most insane murderous characters you could imagine. Not gunna go around saying those folks are the worst, but saying you hate a character cause they see aspects of themselves in something else that may not be so fucking wholesome is wild.

And lets not even get into the idea that calling Arkveld a murderous serial killer is stupid cause...y'all really out here forgetting that he's supposed to be a MONSTER! LIKE HELLO!? DID YOU JUST FORGET THE SERIES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!?

And furthermore, Monsters are animals in this universe! You know, those things that don't have the moral concepts we humans do!? Like, trying to say an animal is evil because it's just doing something they're compelled to do based on you're human moral scale is just fucking stupid.

If I can give my own perspective on this, canonically it is FLAT OUT told to us that the reason Nata relates to Arkveld is because they both where isolated and then broke free from those shackles! But apparently, people think you gotta relate to the entirety of something in order for it to make sense. And I kinda fucking hate that!

Anyway, rant over. (For now.)

[bullseyelover]

hello. yes, exactly. that last part really got me, because it’s so true. there’s a whole layer to dex that i think you can really feel if you’ve been there in some way. people who’ve struggled with mental illness, or who are neurodivergent, or who’ve just been deeply othered in their lives, they recognize something in him that others are less inclined to see. it’s not about condoning what he did. it’s not about brushing off the harm he caused. it’s just that when you’ve spent your life being misunderstood, managed, misdiagnosed, or manipulated, when you’ve had to build an identity under the weight of other people’s perceptions, you see dex and you think, “yeah. i get it. i see how he got here.”

even before fisk ever touched his life, people already treated dex like he was off. he was visibly neurodivergent. rigid in routine, hyper precise, emotionally flat in ways that made people uncomfortable, struggling with social norms and connection, and the world clocked that immediately. he got weird looks, quiet judgment, sometimes fear. but because he was useful, because he was exceptional at what he did, people let it slide. they tolerated him, but they never truly accepted him. he was terrible at working with others in every job he ever had, but no one punished him for it as long as he was performing well. and what makes his story even more devastating is that dex knew all of this. he could feel how people saw him. but he thought that maybe if he just kept his head down, kept the chaos inside, and lived a small, structured life full of quiet suffering, he could be okay. he believed that was the best he could hope for. that a manageable level of pain and isolation was what he was meant for. and he held onto that because it kept him on the straight and narrow. and then fisk came along and cracked it wide open.

dex has always known he’s mentally ill. he was diagnosed when he was twelve. he’s been carrying that label around for most of his life, and he knows what it means. how people look at him because of it, what they expect from him, and more than anything, what they don’t expect. that kind of early diagnosis doesn’t just shape your self image, it shapes how you see everyone else, too. you learn to clock the subtle shifts in people’s eyes when they find out. the wariness, the dismissal, the fear. and by the time we see him again in born again, that awareness is sharper than ever. he’s had years locked away, pumped full of medication, silenced and controlled and forgotten. he’s had nothing to do but sit with it. his diagnosis, his past, everything he’s done, his trauma, everything he’s lost. it’s clear he knows what people think of him. it’s clear he knows what he’s capable of. and it makes the loneliness run even deeper. dex isn’t delusional about who he is. if anything, he sees it too clearly. and that self awareness only adds to the weight he carries.

it’s so isolating to live in a world that would rather reduce you to a label or a threat than ask why you’re hurting. and dex embodies that. the way people look at him and only see a monster, it mirrors so much of the real world. people think he’s scary because he’s quiet, because he doesn’t look unwell in the ways they expect, and that makes them project even more. and like you said, the same flattening happens both in universe and in how some of the audience treats him. it’s meta in a way that feels intentional and brutal. art imitating life, life imitating art, all cycling back into this endless loop of erasure and fear.

and it makes the people who do see him, who look at him and don’t just see danger but pain, confusion, effort, failure, it makes those people feel seen too. because we know what it’s like to try, to hold yourself together, to manage the storm inside, only to still be treated like a walking threat. so much of dex’s story is about being denied grace. and if you’ve lived a life where grace was rarely extended to you, that hits different.

thank you for putting it into words so beautifully. it’s comforting in a weird, sad way to know there are others out there who understand him like this.

i’ve been thinking about dex’s story in born again.

how, in universe, the world saw dex after the events of josies, and after his trial. how quick everyone was to believe he just snapped and went on a revenge fueled rampage at josies. and the sad thing is, that makes sense in the worst possible way. because the world is always going to be more comfortable writing someone like dex off as just another mentally ill guy who lost control. that’s the story people are used to. it’s easier, simpler, and it doesn’t require any deep thought or empathy. it doesn’t ask them to look at who failed him, who used him, who broke him down. it doesn’t ask them to understand the difference between someone being dangerous and someone being made into a weapon. and most people just don’t care enough to look closer.

and what gets me is how many people refuse to hold both truths about dex at the same time. that he’s a victim and a perpetrator. that he did horrific things and was still deeply, painfully used. i hate how often people online will reduce it to “oh you just like him because he’s hot” when you try to talk about him with nuance. like no. dex is complex. he’s the wound and the knife. he is someone who’s suffered, been manipulated, abandoned, used like a tool, but that doesn’t erase what he’s done. it doesn’t mean people weren’t hurt, or that his violence didn’t matter. you can see his pain and still hold him accountable. you can understand where it came from and still be horrified by the outcome. none of that is contradictory. it’s just real. he’s a character full of contradictions, and that’s part of what makes him so compelling. reducing him to one thing, victim, villain, psycho, it just flattens him into a version of himself that isn’t true.

and even in the show, it’s like no one really wants to see the whole truth of who dex is. it’s easier for them to believe “crazy guy goes violent” than to admit that someone vulnerable was groomed and turned into a weapon by someone with more power. for example in episode 8 where matt slams dex’s head into the table, and when the guard walks in, matt lies and says dex did it to himself. and the guard doesn’t even hesitate to believe it. he just immediately goes, “you crazy asshole.” he doesn’t even question it. because that’s already the version of dex they’ve decided is true. they don’t need proof, they don’t need context. they hear “he hurt himself” and go “of course he did.” and that’s what’s so brutal about it. even matt bought into that narrative at first. even though he knew dex had worked for fisk after the events of season three. and he listened to dex’s tapes. he believed that dex was a man who woke up one day on impulse and decided to kill foggy eight years after the events of season three. because he believed dex to be a violent and disturbed psychopath. because that’s the story society already believes. many people believe that mentally ill people are inherently dangerous. quiet violence is scarier than loud chaos. so people don’t ask questions. they just assume the worst. so dex being quiet and restrained in his rage in the trial scene just confirmed what they already thought about him. and that kind of widespread erasure makes dex’s story even more tragic. not just what happened to him, but how no one really sees it. not fully.

and that invisibility messes with him too. dex already struggles with identity. he barely knows who he is when no one’s giving him a script to follow. so when the whole world reduces him to nothing but a monster, a rampage shooter, it probably confirms the worst things he already fears about himself. even if he knows deep down it’s not the whole truth, it gets in his head. like maybe they’re right. maybe he really is just broken and dangerous and beyond saving. that he is an animal and nothing more. and that’s what hurts him. because he tried. he tried to be good. he tried to follow the rules. for so many years because he genuinely wanted to be a better version of himself. he tried to be useful, to matter, to be someone. and in the end, none of it mattered. no one remembers that he tried. they only see the end result. they only see the damage.

and that weight, the failure, the guilt, the grief of never being seen clearly, that’s something he has to carry alone. it’s what makes his story so heavy to sit with. and none of this is to say that dex isn’t still responsible for what he’s done. evidently he knew what he was doing. even if he was manipulated into it. he made choices, and those choices hurt people. he’s not innocent. he’s not good. he’s a villain. that’s who he is, that’s who he’s becoming, and he’s also someone with borderline personality disorder. someone who was manipulated, used, pushed to the edge, and weaponized. those things can all exist at once. he’s not either a tragic victim or an evil monster. he’s both. and when people act like empathizing with him or understanding where he came from is the same as excusing what he did, it’s just dishonest. like no one’s out here saying “my poor baby” and pretending he didn’t kill people. it’s just acknowledging that there’s more to him than what most are willing to see. that doesn’t absolve him. it just complicates him. and if that makes people uncomfortable, maybe they should ask why it’s so much easier to believe someone like dex is just a psycho killer than to accept that he’s human. flawed, dangerous, and human.

if people are saying that about comic bullseye, then yeah, it makes sense. that version of him is literally written to be an unstable psychopath who kills people for fun. he’s meant to be scary and empty and cruel, and that’s it. that’s what makes his character so fun to read. the needless violence, the grin on his face while he commits it. but dex isn’t only that. dex is bullseye, but he’s a version with so much more nuance and humanity. he is capable of everything that comic bullseye is capable of. but he has more contradictions, more depth. he’s not just evil for the sake of it. he’s broken and angry and used and spiraling, and all of that is still his responsibility, but it’s layered. he’s not just a killer. he’s a person. comic bullseye is the foundation, but dex was built on top of that. same character, same legacy, just finally given complexity. he has all the traits of his comic self, but there’s pain behind it now. there’s grief, there’s loneliness, there’s a desperate want to be seen and loved. he’s bullseye in every way, but now he’s also human and real.

[hauntingmiser]

It just feels weird that lemon8, red note, and capcut also TikTok got banned in the US but not temu

Like...you do realize that app is a scam and also is actually dangerous to people right?

Right?

[magpie-trove]

Going to make a rare comment on politics. When Padme Amidala said it was all a result of a failure to listen? I think she was right.

[altschmerzes]

getting real tired of people who are shitting on “found family” more generally as a narrative concept and specifically named familial dynamics in fan interpretation of characters in particular because it all seems to be getting painted with a really wide and really homogenous brush. “we need to take found family away from people because they think it all has to be In Nuclear Family Terms and do you know friendship exists and you don’t have to call these characters siblings to legitimize their relationship while making it clear you Don’t Ship Them Ew Gross and THEN you sneer at people who Do ship them” cool cool that is a lot of really intense characterization and assigning of motive to other people en bloc!

like sure there’s some meaningful critique to be found in a broad trend to label every single relationship directly and specifically with terms that have very specific contexts and roles but im waiting to be told when anyone IS by the standards of people making and reblogging these very sweepingly generalized posts allowed to call a relationship parental or whatever. is that Ever allowed. who is handing out the permits. sometimes a specific term for a relationship isn’t actually about wanting an excuse to sneer about your ship (and frankly there’s a lot of projection going on there imo from people who are actively sneering about other people’s interpretation of a relationship!) and it’s because there are very specific contexts and details about a dynamic that makes exploring it from the lens of siblings or whatever very rich and compelling and interesting because words mean things and assuming everyone is just being reductive and demanding conformity to a nuclear family is, ironically, really reductive.

so like. cool it. stop being really fucking mean about people having an interpretation of a dynamic you personally don’t like or makes you feel a little weird or uncomfy because you ship them.

[finniestoncrane]

said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol