#are these colours horrifying who knows i don't

[kantpattanawat]

I'll be late to work. [ Just make sure you take care of him. ] Khaotung Thanawat as Bison (The Heart Killers, 2024-2025)

[mildew-dread-mold]

ok. genuine question. do east asians with lighter skin (chinese, japanese, korean, vietnamese, and more) count as people of colour?

[primofate]

"Where'd you get that bruise--Oh," in which your Genshin lover gets a good look at the first hickey he left

Warnings: please excuse mistakes as I'm on a time crunch and also sleep deprived, suggestive but still safe for work, humorous in some parts

Other works in this series: (You say I love you for the first time)

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Itto, Kaeya, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader  

Aether

gets flustered

"Uh-Umm... Maybe, you should..."

he wants to say cover it up but who is he to tell you what to do?

Starts to second guess if he really gave you that

Will start to think about the events of last night and deflates with embarrassment

Finally points it out, feels kind of bad that he left a mark

"It's just...distracting...I'm sorry if it hurt,"

Albedo

stares at it for the longest time.

There's a half smile, half amused look on his face, like he wants to be happy about it but doesn't want to be too obvious.

Just chuckles and points it out without any shyness whatsoever

"It's rather obvious, but do with it what you will,"

Comes up with some sort of concealing potion to help you hide it

Brews about a 100 of 'em

Alhaitham

Sort of does a double take, looks at it for a few seconds then looks you in the eye

"I'd advise you to hide it,"

he really only says that to keep things professional when the two of you go out

but in the next second he snakes a hand up your arm with a small secret smirk between the two of you

"However, I can't say that it won't happen again...Specially when..."

He recalls the events of last night at this moment, and it seems as if he's staring into your soul. He breaks away from you with a slight hum.

"...I best be going now."

He leaves you confused, but he only hurried off because he felt an urge to give you another one then and there.

Ayato

chuckles to himself

"Well, there's no hiding that I enjoyed myself,"

but gives you helpful suggestions on how to conceal it or at least make the colour less obvious, like putting ice against it, or something.

Speaking of ice, you can simply get it from the kitchen but Ayato is a tease... "I suppose my dear sister can adequately help you with that...Though what, pray tell, would you tell her?"

You kind of shrug and say that you'll tell her an animal bit you.

Ayato is amused "An animal," but there's a twinkle and hint of lust in his eyes. "Yes, perhaps that's what I become when it involves you. The statement isn't exactly a lie,"

Cyno

is silent. Not sure if he's happy about it or horrified.

Feels like a crime cause it looks like a bruise.

Does not say anything for a good minute because he simply doesn't know what to say and is talking to himself in his mind

Like Was I really the one who did that? Last night must've been...

Snaps out of his stupor when he's reminded of the events and clears his throat to catch your attention.

"Y/N...You...I...I've managed to leave a mark...on your neck..."

You absentmindedly touch it and let out a small ohhhhhhh in understanding

Clears his throat again and looks away, pretending to be busy with something. Flustered and doesn't know what else to say.

Dainsleif

Eyebrows involuntarily raise up at the marks.

Points it out immediately

"My dear, it seems that I had a favourite spot last night," and taps on your neck to let you know what exactly he means.

"I can conceal it with a little trick of mine, if you don't mind," he says he can make it invisible to the ordinary eye but some "special" people can see it, so...

"I suppose if you run into the traveller that you'd have to be honest about it. Hm? No, I don't quite mind if they know of our relationship,"

Diluc

is surprised, then apologetic

He didn't know is fully aware how rough he had been last night

Apologizes with a slight tint of red on his cheeks and can't seem to pry his eyes away from it.

"My apologies, Y/N. It looks like I was rather...careless...last night. You should wear something with a collar today...or perhaps, my coat?"

Is seriously considering repenting about it

Itto

"Whoa--"

Is legit about to throw hands but then remembers

"Oh yeah. I did that." while scratching his head bashfully

No shame about it afterwards, even has the gall to say

"I'm surprised it doesn't look worse! It was pretty wild last nig--"

You have to cover his mouth to save yourself from embarrassment

Kaeya

smirks and leans in close to brush his fingers against the hickey.

"It isn't the most flattering of marks but... it gives me quite the sense of accomplishment,"

winks, deadass tries to give you another one right away.

"How about we try that again? Just to even it out on both sides of your neck,"

is only half joking

Lyney

mischievous laugh

is more happy about it than shy, embarrassed or apologetic

"That wasn't very nice of me wasn't it?" but is still smiling

"Unfortunately I don't think I have any magic tricks up my sleeve to fix this one,"

Grabs and hugs you by the waist "I guess we'll just have to stay in, the two of us, until it's unnoticeable"

always looking for an excuse to spend alone time with you.

Neuvillette

clears his throat almost immediately when he sees it, like he choked on water

"Y/N," he starts rather sternly but falters and takes a few seconds to think.

"May I suggest wearing a scarf today?" is awkward about pointing it out so goes the roundabout way. You're so confused because it's the middle of summer.

"Well," he coughs once to try an explain to you. "I didn't have all manners of restraint last night...You were simply...irresistible,"

points it out by gently thumbing at it

Scaramouche

shit-eating grin at the sight of it

Doesn't tell you to cover it up, most likely wants you to go parading around with it.

"Tsk. What's the harm if people ask? Just be honest and tell them," he's just fucking around with your head now

but snatches your wrist and looks you straight in the eye with a confident smirk "And be sure to tell them who gave it to you. That'll teach them to back off,"

Tartaglia

laughs but is slightly apologetic

"Couldn't hold myself back, I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

You tell him that the next time he leaves a hickey, he should leave it somewhere where it's more concealed.

"Oh?" sudden glint in his eyes. You might have said the wrong thing. "No take backs, Y/N,"

I think you know what or where he's thinking about

Tighnari

Doesn't say anything at first but immediately whips up a remedy for it. Some sort of green paste that helps with inflammation.

"Here," and hands you the bowl of herbs. "For that,"

He doesn't point at it but instead eyes it rather obviously

He also watches you put the paste on "Alright, just leave it for a few minutes and it should heal wonderfully,"

He doesn't exactly feel guilty but he's more worried that people will look at you weirdly.

"I suppose I'll have to be careful next time," with a sigh.

Wriothesley

laughs but bashfully face palms and tilts his head backwards

Recovers quickly and smiles apologetically

"Sorry love, couldn't hold myself back it looks like," lovingly takes your face in his palms

Can't hold his smile back "But can you blame me? I'm not gunna hide that I was way too excited,"

Suggests you to put a bandage of some sort over it.

"I'll try to be careful next time, but no promises,"

Xiao

Freezes while looking at it

For a split second is confused where you got such a mark but then flusters himself when he remembers it was from him.

"...Y/N..."

seriously does not know what to say

stands there staring at it that you finally just check in the mirror yourself. He hears you gasp and he kind of winces to himself and now feels a little guilty.

"I...didn't mean to hurt you,"

You quickly tell him it doesn't hurt, but you were just surprised.

Thinks for a moment, then mumbles, you can barely hear him "...So it's alright to do it again?"

Zhongli

chuckles, not shy about it. just amused.

"It's no one's fault except my own. I merely wasn't paying heed to how...carnal...my desires were,"

he again chuckles as he explains.

"Not to worry darling, I'm sure Bubu Pharmacy has something to remedy it. I'll be back with it in tow,"

brushes his fingers against the hickey as some sort of apology and promise that he'll fix it

End

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[5sospenguinqueen]

I'm Thirsty, Refreshing | Charles Leclerc x Gasly! Reader

Summary: Pierre is horrified by his sister's public attempts to catch his Monegasque friend's attention

Warnings: Suggestive. Thirsty comments. Swearing. Down bad reader.

Gasly reader. Pinterest pics

F1 Masterlist

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gasly_yn just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and others

gasly_yn forza ferrari sempre

4,309 comments

pierregasly what the fuck 

pierregasly wrong team

pierregasly when did this become a whore house

→ gasly_yn that’s not very hot girl summer of you 

user1 pierre going through the seven stages of grief

francisca.cgomes serving body

→ gasly_yn thank you for looking through 100s of pics for the right ones

→ pierregasly @/francisca.cgomes don’t encourage this! 

→ fransisca.cgomes but she looks hot liked by charles_leclerc

alpinef1team well, we all know who you’ll be supporting this weekend

→ gasly_yn yeah, your other driver 

→ pierregasly you take that back! that's worse

→ user2 i love when the gasly’s are messy on main

lilymhe and whose attention would we be trying to catch today? 

→ gasly_yn only yours

→ alex_albon no

→ gasly_yn these drivers never let me have any fun

carlossainz55 looking good, female gasly

→ pierregasly back off 🤺

→ user3 c’mon carlos, we all know she’s only here for charles liked by charles_leclerc 

landonorris i’m definitely looking at the shirt 👀

→ gasly_yn uh huh, what colour is it?

→ landonorris papaya

→ arthur_leclerc she doesn’t do british, mate

charles_leclerc *gulp*

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pierregasly just posted

liked by gasly_yn, francisca.cgomes and others

pierregasly people were asking for more piarles (?) content tagged: charles_leclerc

5,558 comments

gasly_yn oh wow. i am stunned

gasly_yn and not because of you. we all know i’m the better looking gasly anyway

gasly_yn why don’t you bring him home anymore

→ pierregasly because you wouldn’t stop trying to steal him

→ gasly_yn kiks, leave him

charles_leclerc i am flattered

→ user4 omg just respond to her instead of acting like you’re responding to pierre

→ user5 give the girl a chance

francisca.cgomes i can hear her barking from here

→ lilymhe she’s actually salivating 

→ gasly_yn where’s the girl code

→ user6 not the girlies exposing her

danielricciardo mate, who’s managing to make you look good in photos

→ gasly_yn hi, me again. i actually claim photo credits but he didn’t tag me

→ pierregasly i was kind of hoping you wouldn’t see this post. it was hard enough wiping the drool off your mouth when you were there  

→ gasly_yn don’t expose me

→ gasly_yn plus, i have his notifs on so i don't miss a thing

→ pierregasly i half expected you to lick him after that basketball match

→ gasly_yn says the one trying to go for a cock shot

georgerussell63 didn’t i see that ferrari hoodie in your suitcase last weekend, yn? (this comment has been deleted)

user6 xoxo gossip george 

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charles_leclerc just posted

liked by gasly_yn, oscarpiastri and others

charles_leclerc summer break ☀️

7.440 comments

user8 here before yn

→ gasly_yn think again babe

gasly_yn miss rabbit has fainted 

gasly_yn okay but the hands, the pecs, the bandana 

gasly_yn in the market for a new necklace

pierregasly why are we thirst trapping

pierregasly whose attention are you trying to grab

pierregasly oi, answer me

user7 yn and pierre match each other’s freak in the best sibling way possible 

carlossainz55 are you trying to kill her 

alex_albon i’ve sent lily to check that she’s still alive after these 

user8 who is taking the most boyfriend coded pics of Charles tho

→ user9 asking the real questions

georgerussell63 i don’t think ferrari would like you offing the competition’s sister 

gasly_yn the sun isn’t the only thing that’s hot in these pictures

→ pierregasly you’re embarrassing me 

→ gasly_yn my friends know you call yourself tripod, i’m not the embarrassment 

→ charles_leclerc she’s got you there, mate

lilymhe i watched her drop her phone after opening insta

→ francisca.cgomes and then walk into a doorframe

user10 not the grid and wags exposing my poor girl

→ user11 she’s so down bad. i can’t even defend her anymore

→ lilymhe neither can we

user12 anyone else think yn is freaking out because charles finally replied to her comment

→ user13 not all of you taking this seriously like she hasn’t known charles since they were kids

→ user14 literally. they’ve been friends for years. i’m pretty sure she knows how to control herself around him

→ gasly_yn um, babe. have you seen him? would YOU be able to control yourself? liked by charles_leclerc

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gasly_yn just posted a new story x2

charles_leclerc just posted a new story

pierregasly replied to yn's story you tell him to keep his hands to himself  → i know where he lives gasly_yn i didn’t know you liked me that much  pierregasly biologically i’m obliged to

pierregasly replied to charles' story stop touching her → release her hand charles_leclerc you’re the one who told me to finally ask her out! → you said you were happy that i would stop pining pierregasly yes but when you told me months ago that you were dating and keeping it under wraps → i believed that meant i wouldn’t actually have to see you with her → a heads up that you changed that would’ve been nice charles_leclerc drama queen pierregasly that’s it, i take back my approval charles_leclerc piss off, pois

pierregasly replied to yn's story yn, what the fuck → that better not be → i’m going to throw something  gasly_yn stop stalking me pierregasly how could you not tell me first!  gasly_yn you wanted me to tell you that i was going to fuck your friend? pierregasly i knew it was date night but i never thought gasly_yn you didn’t imagine your sister and your friend in bed together? i think that’s considered normal, pois pierregasly i hope he wrapped it. don't need more of you in the world gasly_yn go away! 

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pierregasly just posted

liked by scuderiaferrari, arthur_leclerc and others

pierregasly i actually miss when they were just messaging me about each other. now they make out in front of me. much worse tagged: gasly_yn, charles_leclerc

10,199 comments

user13 not pierre hard launching them

gasly_yn he used to talk about me?

→ charles_leclerc all the time <3

→ pierregasly all. the. time

alex_albon does this mean we can stop acting like we haven’t seen them making out around the paddock for the past few months?

→ georgerussell63 and in his car

→ landonorris and in the back of clubs

→ gasly_yn 2019 rookies were the worst thing to happen to f1

→ charles_leclerc i thought we were discreet?

→ pierregasly mate, you drool over her as much as she does you. neither of you have ever been discreet

arthur_leclerc at least they dial it down in front of you

user14 wait, you’re telling me they’ve been together for months. what about all of yn’s thirsty comments??

→ charles_leclerc i was sat next to her as she was writing them

→ gasly_yn can confirm those had him giggling 

maxverstappen1 wait, does this mean he’s replaced me as his padel partner?

→ pierregasly he said he actually wanted to win

→ gasly_yn plus if he does lose, i give better consolation prizes ;)

→ pierregasly ew! dirty! 

→ francisca.cgomes querido you have said worse to me in front of her

carlossainz55 the worst day was when she wore the ferrari vest under her alpine shirt. should’ve learned to knock before entering his driver’s room

→ pierregasly NO! In public! 

scuderiaferrari ha stole your girl

→ alpinef1team how dare you 

→ pierregasly yeah, you tell them. you can’t have her

→ charles_leclerc MY girl

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Requests welcome

I am currently working on a written Lando fic about him and driver! reader being fwb with angst so bare with me lol

Tag list

@rosecentury @peachiicherries

[amphiptere]

Where is the "by vibe" option

I have a question

[azrakaban]

Augophile - Theodore Nott

N: RIGHT BITCHES! IT'S AU O'CLOCK! This is my first soulmate au, sorry if it's cringe <3 p.s. English is my first language but sorry anyway if there's any miss spellings

Requests: Still open <3

Requested by: Piss_Witch

Summary: AU where once you turn sixteen, you lose the ability to see colours until you meet your soulmate. But what if they don't want to see your colours?

Warnings: Angsty (a bit?), injury detail, i villainise McLaggen again <3 (He's racist for like one line and is a grade A asshole), mentions of amnesia, fluffy ending <3

Ships mentioned: Panstoria, Bluna

Dynamics: Grumpy X sunshine, miscommunication, soulmates, friends to lovers, tall and calm, short and excitable

Soul-mate. Soul-mate. Soul-mate.

Your heart beat in time with the words you'd been hearing all week long, unable to shake the excitable feeling that comes with approaching your sixteenth birthday.

Sweet sixteen held a meaning within teenagers, but a different one for magical teens such as yourself.

Having seen colours all your life, you were only partially prepared to lose sight of them all. You remembered Pansy's sixteenth, when she'd come downstairs crying.

"MY BI FLAG LOOKS LIKE SOME WEIRD ASS STRAIGHT FLAG!" She had sobbed, and you had comforted her until Astoria came into the room, and suddenly colours were visible again.

Your other friends weren't quite as lucky. Mattheo was unable to see colours, he stated plainly, while Theodore vehemently denied being able to see any colours at all. Just fifty shades of grey.

Draco was the youngest of the boys, and hadn't yet had his sixteenth. Blaise however was lucky, having been passing Ravenclaw dorm at the same time as a certain Luna Lovegood the week after his birthday.

And now here you were, in the week leading up to your birthday, saying your final goodbyes to colours.

"I'm going to miss seeing brown." You said idly as you fiddled with a blanket, lying across a couch in the Slytherin common room.

Draco snorted. "You'll miss brown? Why? It's such a boring colour." You sat up, indignant. "It's not. Cinnamon, trees in autumn, gingerbread, old vinyls, paper, vintage cars, antique bookshelves..." You listed, and a smile quirked at the corner of Theodore's mouth as he read.

"I think I'm just going to miss all the colours." You confessed.

"Our little Augophile." Blaise chuckled. You gave him a confused look. "Someone who loves colours." You thought for a second. "Sounds about right." You grinned.

The corner of Theo's mouth quirked again, but he looked back down to his book.

"I don't know if I'm ready." You said, sighing. The atmosphere of the room shifted instantly. "What do you mean?" Pansy said, unsticking herself from Astoria for a second.

"I mean I'm nervous. What if we're too similar? What if I hate them?" You said, stressing. "What if they hate me? WHAT IF IT'S DRACO." You yelled the last part, horrified. The others laughed.

Draco grimaced. "Thanks, l/n." You smiled. "Any time ferret." He glared at you, but you were too busy spiralling. 

"What do you want in a soulmate anyway, y/n?" Lorenzo asked, looking mildly curious. 

"Umm... nice, able to cook, ideally he'd be able to read, but given people like Crabbe and Goyle go to this school, that's not a guarantee..." You said, recieving a laugh. "My friends need to like him, and he needs to be willing to defend me." You said, finishing. (DON'T. MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER.)

"So... the bare minimum?" Mattheo said sarcastically. "Omg, babe, the bare minimum? You shouldn't have..." He rolled his eyes, laughing.

"I'm just kind of praying to a spiritual thing or whatever that they're not an asshole. That would suck." You said, fiddling with your hair.

Theo gently pulled your hand away from your hair. "You'll make your hair greasy." He said, not looking up.

You smiled and turned back to the conversation. "Look, y/n, I find it unlikely that the universe would give someone like you a bad person as a soulmate. I mean, that would be like you and me being together. Or you and Theo. It just wouldn't work." Mattheo said, shaking his head with a smirk.

"Right?!" You said, laughing softly. Theo stiffened slightly, unnoticed by everyone but the elder Riddle, who sat back reading a muggle book you had leant him.

You noticed Tom's smirk and turned to look at him. "What's on your mind Tomothy?" You said, smiling.

"Just Tom is fine, n/n. And I am merely amused by two characters in this story. Neil and Todd I believe? The two of them seem... rather well matched." Tom said idly. You smiled as Mattheo craned his neck to look at the book.

"Dead Poet's society?" He said, wrinkling his nose. "How do they write if they're dead? Ghosts don't have a present form to write with..." He frowned.

You laughed. "They don't write the poetry. Well, they do, but later on. They're obsessed with a poet called John Keats." Mattheo interrupted you.

"Sounds boooring, I don't wanna know." He said, groaning. Tom rolled his eyes as your smile faltered slightly. Theo noted that.

"I want to know." He said, placing his book carefully to the side, 'The secret history'.

You smiled. He had no idea what he was getting into.

You then spent the next two hours explaining the plot of dead poets to Theodore, who was, surprisingly, an avid listener. He asked questions in the right place, and although his expression didn't say much, he didn't move away or interrupt you, so you assumed he was interested.

"So... to be clear, they were never actually together, but you wish Neil and Todd were?" Theodore concluded. You nodded, brushing tears away from your eyes. A sniffle was heard from behind you, and you turned to see Lorenzo wiping his eyes with a tissue.

"My poor little homosexuals..." He said, looking genuinely sad. You and Theo exchanged a look, trying to work out if he was serious or not, which apparently he was, as you found out later. Theo awkwardly patted his back, trying to console him to the best of his ability.

You giggled to yourself, picking up your book and heading upstairs.

Theodore called after you. "Y/N!"

You turned, looking back at him from the steps to your dorm. "Yeah?"

"You're coming to the match tomorrow right?" He said hesitantly. "Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Matt's been pushing us hard, should be a good game." He continued, trying to gauge your reaction.

You nodded, smiling. "Oh yeah. I'll be there." You said, waving before you headed up to bed.

Theodore smiled to himself, before picking up his book again. You'd be there.

"TEN POINTS TO SLYTHERIN!" Lee Jordan's voice rang out across the stadium, amplified by his magical megaphone. You looked on excitedly as Enzo scored another goal for Slytherin, taking the lead from Gryffindor.

Gryffindor were clearly starting to get slightly worried, and their new beaters, Kirke and Sloper were clearly losing their nerve. They needed a distraction from the game, to give Gryffindor a lead.

They needed to take out someone who the entire Slytherin team would care about enough to stop the game for a moment.

They needed to take out you.

Throughout the game, Theodore's eyes flickered to you, making sure you were still watching. And every time he looked, there you were, eyes trained on the game and a happy smile on your face.

Theodore batted a bludger at Ginny Weasley, which Sloper deflected perfectly... until it wasn't perfect anymore.

The bludger came speeding towards you, too fast for you to move.

There was a sickening crunch, and then everything went black.

one week later

"-Mr Nott you need to leave, she needs rest and she'll probably be rather disorentated when she wakes-"

"-I don't care, I'm not leaving her like this."

"Huh?" You mumbled, eyes fluttering slightly before they opened a fraction.

A face swam into vision, looking down at you with a concerned frown. You felt a flash of something in your chest, and then the face came into colour.

"Careful, Mr Nott, she will be emotionally fragile after such damage." The woman's voice tutted as she bustled away.

It took you a minute of squinting to bypass the amnesia before a name came to you.

"Teddy?" You mumbled, and the figure rolled their eyes with a small smile.

"You haven't called me that since we were eight, y/n." The figure said, sitting back in the chair beside the hospital bed you were apparently in.

Right, y/n... that must be you. 'Teddy' frowned.

"Yes it's you, why wouldn't you be y/n?" He said, looking concerned, and you realised you had spoken aloud.

"She probably has some level of amnesia, from her head injury. She's also on a lot of pain meds, and may be a little honest." The lady said, bustling away near you. Teddy's mouth set into a hard line.

"Quel maledotto idiota. Non guarda dove sta colpendo quella dannata cosa, no, la colpisce semplicemente ovunque gli piaccia dannatamente." He grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose as he lapsed into his mothertongue. (That fucking idiot.  He doesn't look where he's hitting the damn thing, no, he just hits it wherever he damn well pleases)

"Uh, sorry, I don't speak Ravioli." You said, peering up at him curiously. "What did you say?"

"It doesn't matter." He said, shaking his head. "What do you remember from Saturday?" He said, looking at you intently.

You wrestled with your brain for a moment, trying to bypass your amnesia. "I remember walking to the quidditch stadium... and watching you. You were very good." You said absent mindedly, not noticing how that surprised him.

"I didn't know you were watching me particularly tesoro." He smirked, and you frowned. That name had stirred something in you... THEO! That was his name.

"I always do, I don't want any of you guys to get hurt, you're my best friends." You said, seeming confused as Theo's smirk dropped.

Right. Of course you wouldn't be watching just him. That would have been ridiculous. So why did he feel disappointed?

"But that's all I remember. What else happened?" You said, looking interested.

Theo hesitated. Did he tell you? Aw what the hell, you were going to find out anyway.

"You were watching the game with Pansy when an unnamed beater on the Gryffindor team threw a hissy fit and hit a bludger at you. I say unnamed because although I know exactly who it was that hit it, I couldn't be bothered to learn his name. Perhaps you can identify him?" Theo nodded towards a figure lying in a bed a few beds down to your right.

You craned your neck to see. They seemed to have a broken nose, and several bruises covering their face, making them look like some strange purple smurf.

"The grumpy lady said I have amnesia right? So honestly, given he looks like a bruised potato, I have no idea who that is." You said, smiling slightly, before looking again, this time noticing the patients name written on a get well soon card. 

"Actually, now that you mention it, a name does come to mind... A Jack Sloper I think?" 

Theo frowned, looking at the boy again. "If he's that recognisable, Tom and I clearly didn't do a good enough job." 

You giggled. "It's on his card, Teddy. His get well soon card. He probably needs all the well wishes he can get, given his current state."

Theo's lip twitched, and you saw a hint of a smile. "Glad to be of service." You smiled, which then flipped into a frown. "But... the scottish lady... what's her name... Old MacDonald?" At that Theodore laughed, a deep laugh that was all all too rare noise. 

"McGonagall, y/n." You beamed. "Right, thanks!" He shook his head, smiling at you. "Anyway, McGonagall, there's no way she let you get away with this." At that, Theo winced. 

"That bad huh?" He grimaced, and you braced for impact. "Two months detention." He said, shaking his head. You sighed. "Not expelled then." Theo looked shocked. "God no tesoro, she was rather sympathetic to my cause actually." You straightened. "Which was?" 

Theo frowned. "He hurt you y/n, I couldn't just let him get away with no repercussions." You looked confused. "You didn't beat up that Hufflepuff guy when he broke our blonde friends name..." You searched for a name, racking your brain. 

"Astoria, and I won't tell her you forgot her name, lest she murder you in cold blood." Theo chuckled lowly. You smiled gratefully, then remembered your question. "So, why'd you beat up Sloper and not the Hufflepuff when he hurt Astoria?" You asked softly, fiddling with your pale cream bedsheets.

"Perché Astoria non sei tu." He rolled his eyes. (Because Astoria isn't you.) 

You frowned. "There you go again with the ravioli. What's special about me? I can't mean much more than her." Theo hesitated, as if he'd made a mistake. "You're not special. I've just known you longer, you're an obligation, not a choice, y/n." He replied, voice slightly cold. 

That hurt, and he saw it in your face, internally cursing himself. This is why it was stupid to be close to you, he'd just end up hurting you with stupid words and silly lies and ridiculous promises.    

"I know. Don't worry." You whispered, eyes roving over the vibrant colours of the flowers on Sloper's bedside. "But you don't need to fight for me, Theo." Unknowingly, that hurt Theo. 

You'd said you wanted a soulmate who would defend you, and now that he'd done it for you, you were saying you didn't need him to. Clearly you didn't want him to be like your ideal soulmate. You didn't want him. And not only that, he was Theo again. Not Teddy. Just Theo, what everyone else called him. Well, everyone else he cared even a little for. 

"I know, don't worry." He replied coldly, standing and leaving. You felt horrible. He'd fought for you, risked his safety, and you'd rebuked him. You hoped he wasn't too upset over it. Something in you felt wrong when he was upset. 

He came back in after a moment. "Y/N, I'm sorry." He sighed. "This has probably been a lot for you. And I know what you're saying, don't feel bad. I gotta go to detention though, okay Tesoro? I'll see you later solare." He kissed your forehead and then left. And everything felt better. (Darling, sunshine)

A month had passed since you were freed from the jail of the hospital wing and you were flying high, except for the fact that you had hardly seen Theo, given his two months detention. You missed your best friend, least of all because of the major crush you'd been harbouring for a year or so.

You had been reminded of the existence of soulmates, but were still not sure how people knew they were soulmates, and hadn't wanted to ask for fear of being thought stupid. Unfortunately, you were about to find out. Or, think so.

"Y/N!" A voice called after you as you walked out of class. You span, and noticed Cormac McLaggen watching you with an unreadable expression. 

"Yeah?" You replied uncertainly. 

"Can I talk to you for a moment? It's really important." He called. You nodded carefully, following him. 

"I know this must come as a shock, but we're soulmates." You started. "What?" You were confused.

"I know, it shocked me too, I had no idea, it doesn't feel real. I'm so happy, though. I knew we were meant to be together." He said excitedly, smirking. "How... How do you know?" You asked, trying to look indifferent. 

"Well, I know you forgot how soulmates work, but the man in the relationship can always tell. You feel this weird pull towards her, and then you just know. I know you can feel it too." He said, so convincingly. 

You looked at him. He looked so convinced, so excited. How could you tell him you couldn't feel it? "Yes, I feel it." You said, trying to sound convinced. He looked surprised for a second, before his face relaxed. "Good, good! So, can I take you out?" 

You thought for a second. He was your soulmate after all. "Okay, sure." You put on a bright smile. 

"Awesome, meet me in Hogsmeade this weekend then." He said, walking away. Was that it? Your soulmate? You thought it would be more. A magical flash of light, some weird pull... but nothing. But he was. He was. So you would push through. 

(A month later)

You were in your dorm bathroom with Pansy and Astoria, getting ready for a date with Cormac. He wasn't a perfect soulmate, but he was okay? Right? He forced you to spend an awful lot of time with him. As a result, you'd barely seen your friends since he spoke to you the first time. As for Theo... you hadn't seen him properly since the hospital wing, besides a few group hangouts, due to his detention, which had finally ended tonight. And you missed him. 

"-Y/N!" A voice called you and you snapped out of your thoughts. "Hmm? Yes sorry?" 

"I was asking how it felt for you when you first saw colours again. You know, when you first looked at McLaggen." Astoria said, smiling.

You frowned. "What?" Pansy looked confused. 

"You know, when you look at your soulmate, and the colour comes back into your life after the grey." Pansy said, trying to prompt your memory. "Maybe your memory still isn't all there." She said sympathetically. 

"When you turned sixteen, you would have lost the ability to see colours for a bit, until you saw McLaggen." Astoria explained, smiling. "I was asking how it felt for you to see colours again." 

You froze, tensing up. You had been able to see colours before you see Cormac. You had been able to see colours way before then. Oh god. Why had Cormac lied to you?

"Y/N? So, how'd it feel?" You jerked back into consciousness. "Umm, yeah, it felt good." You said, and realised they were watching you. You noticed your expression had dropped and upped the wattage of your smile. That put them off for a little, at least until you were gone. 

You decided to wait near the library, which was where Cormac had said he'd meet you. Let the waiting begin. As you waited, you began to wonder. Was Cormac even your soulmate like he said he was? He'd have no reason to lie about that. And even so, if you'd always been able to see colours, maybe your soulmate was dead? That made sense. Maybe your soulmate was dead, and Cormac knew, so he replaced him. 

You frowned. That was ridiculous, nearly Aaron Warner level delusional. And McLaggen still wasn't there for you to ask. 

And little did you know, he wouldn't be for quite a while. 

Theo's POV

Finally, a night without detention. It had been a seriously long time since he'd had a free night, and he revelled in it. Not that it hadn't been worth it, Sloper would be much careful with his bat now, and he'd managed to get an apology to you. Not without Theo threatening him though and Tom glaring at him ominously. 

Although having to babysit a load of excitable and enthusiastic first years was not the way anybody would want to spend every Tuesday. How were they so happy? And enthusiastic? And not absolutely drowning in homework? No, Theo couldn't understand it. But hey, they were at least invested in learning chess, which he taught them with great patience. Tom, not so much. 

He had been asked to tutor second years, and reduced a poor Ravenclaw girl to tears, earning him another additional day of detention. 

Theo slid down onto a couch in the common room with Blaise to his left. Dracp clapped him on the back, grinning. "Welcome back to having a social life, Nott." Theo grimaced slightly, but let a smile grace his face.

"Catch me up then, what did I miss?" He said, trying to seem nonchalant, when in reality, he was dying to know the castle gossip. Not that he'd ever tell Pansy and Astoria, they'd hound him for eternity. 

"Umm... let me think. Oh yeah, so, Anna Dbrovnik in 7th year had a pregnancy scare, but it was okay because it turned out she hadn't even had sex, Lavender Brown has a crush on Ron Weasley, and Y/N and Cormac McLaggen started dating." Astoria reeled off, noticing Theo's face harden and him sit up at her last words. 

"What?" He said lethally quietly. "Oh yeah, turns out he's her soulmate, which none of us really saw coming, and now they're going out. Weird right?" Pansy continued brightly, obviously aware of what she'd just done.

"I didn't know it was possible to have two soulmates." Theo said quietly. Seven heads turned his way. "Alright man, what the flip?" Said Lorenzo, earning a badly disguised giggle from Mattheo. 

"Y/N's my soulmate, and now I find out I have to share her with McLaggen?" Theo spat bitterly. Some cruel trick of nature. "That's not possible. Everyone only has one soulmate, it's written into the laws of the universe or something." Tom said, trying to appear indifferent. 

"So that means either you're lying, which I doubt, or McLaggen is. WHAT A LITTLE WHORE!" Astoria screeched, furious on your behalf. "Alright, calm down babe." Pansy grabbed her shoulders, pulling Astoria back and kissing her head. 

"I WILL NOT BE SILENT! SOME UGLY GRYFFINDOR HOE HAS DECIEVED MY BEST FRIEND!" Astoria said, voice raising in decibels with each syllable. 

Pansy thought for a second, and then realised something. "She already knows."

There was a sharp intake of breath from several people, before Blaise asked the all important question. "How do you know?" 

Pansy slid down onto the sofa. "She froze up when we asked her how it felt to find out McLaggen was her soulmate. We mentioned the whole colours thing and she looked so confused, she clearly didn't know that that's how it works. How did we not see that?" Pansy groaned. 

Theo coughed. "So... if she knew he wasn't her soulmate and knew he'd been lying to her, why did she still go to him?" He said, trying to douse the flame burning in his chest with water. 

"Knowing Y/N, that's not going to be a date for her, it's going to be a confrontation." Draco smirked. The water became gasoline, the fire burning it's way through his body before reaching his brain and shocking him into motion.

"I have to tell Y/N. I have to at least talk to her, even if she rejects me." Theo said, standing quickly. Pansy scoffed. "Yeah, as if she's about to reject you." Astoria giggled, and Theo froze. 

"What?"

Theo, you're almost as blind as Astoria without contacts." Astoria stopped giggling and glared at her girlfriend, who gave her an apologetic look. "Y/N's had an itty bitty massive crush on you since you were kids, Theo." Pansy said, rubbing his shoulder sympathetically. "So don't screw this up, or we'll all hit you to Pluto." She said brightly. Theo turned to the group. 

"That true? You'd all hit me to Pluto if I hurt her?" There was a collective silence, and Theo exhaled. "Wow, thanks guys." He said sarcastically. 

"I'd only hit you to mars, but that's because of cracky joints." Enzo offered. Theo rolled his eyes, standing and leaving the common room, speed walking down corridors to try and find you. 

"WRONG WAY! SHE'S AT THE LIBRARY!" Pansy called after him. He flushed, before turning and running the correct way. 

...

Your POV

You had been waiting just under half an hour for McLaggen, with him still no show. You sighed quietly, before beginning to walk away from the library, wandering aimlessly towards the Gryffindor common room to try check on him. 

You had barely got a corridor away when McLaggen appeared infront of you, chest heaving and out of breath. "GOT- HELD- UP- WITH- UH... HOMEWORK!" He wheezed, catching his breath. Your eyes quickly roved over him, taking in his appearance. You noticed his half done belt, and a lipstick print on his ruffled collar, his rumpled shirt.

You didn't have to be a Ravenclaw to work that one out. But instead of feeling upset, or angry, or mad.. you felt nothing. Maybe a little disappointed, given you thought he was better than that, but honestly? Recent events had dissipated the few shreds of respect you still had for him. 

"Yes, I'm sure homework can be incredible distracting." You said quietly. He didn't appear to notice. "Right so, shall we go?" He said presumptuously. You shook your head. 

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you." You said nervously. He groaned. "Y/N, you talk too much, we'll be late." He said, rolling his eyes, gripping your wrist and attempting to pull you along. A few students looked on at this. You bit back a retort, wrenching your wrist from his grip. 

"Why'd you tell me we're soulmates?" You asked carefully. He turned, shock evident on his face as his hand became clammy. "Because we are, babe. Come along now." He said through gritted teeth. You shook your head vehemently, as Theodore and a few of your other friends came around the corner, out of breath, Theodore in front.

"I could see colours before I saw you. You took advantage of me, and you lied to me. I want to know why." You took a step closer, glaring at him. 

He took a step back, a smirk crossing his face, which you felt a burning urge to slap. "Calm it, Y/N, or I'll think you're confused. You sure you don't need to see madam Pomfrey?" He said in mock sympathy, obviously trying to get a laugh out of his audience. No-one laughed. 

Theo stepped forward, coming to stand beside you. "You can do this, Tesoro. Don't let him gaslight you." He whispered to you. You smiled. Cormac frowned.

"What are you saying to her?" He glared. 

"I'm telling her the best way to dismember you without getting caught." Theo deadpanned, smirking at you with that signature look of his. You grinned up at him, and Tom raised an eyebrow. "You're talking about method five right?" He said, frowning.

Theo rolled his eyes. "I was being sarcastic, but yes, if I was to tell her I'd use that one." Tom nodded and returned to his position against the wall. 

"You're being stupid, Y/N. You know I'm your soulmate, so stop being so ridiculous." He scoffed, pulling you towards him. Theo gently pulled you back, pulling McLaggen's hands off of you with such force that he winced. 

"You don't touch her, Signor Piccolo Cazzo." Theo taunted, glaring. He pushed you behind him. "You don't get to walze in here, gaslight her and act like she's the problem. È incredibile e tu non meriti di pulirle le scarpe." (Mr Small dick) (She's incredible, and you are not worth of wiping her shoes.)

McLaggen clenched his fists, clearly not knowing what Theo was saying, but getting the gist of it. "Look it's none of your goddamn business Nott, just fuck off back to your own country." You started at that, walking forward and slapping him across the face. Cormac reeled. 

"FUCK Y/N? WHY WOULD YOU HIT YOUR SOULMATE?" He yelled, clearly playing the victim. No-one came to help him. 

"She's not your fucking soulmate." Theo said, lethally quiet. You were surprised. How did he know that?

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT NOTT, CAN YOU? HOW DO YOU KNOW?" McLaggen taunted him. And that was Theo's breaking point. 

"BECAUSE SHE'S MY SOULMATE. SHE'S MEANT TO BE MINE, AND I'M FUCKING HERS, AND MERLIN DAMN ME IF I LET A STRONZO LIKE YOU STEAL HER HEART." Theo exploded, towering over McLaggen. 

You froze. Looking at Theo. Looking at McLaggen. Looking at Theo. Him looking at you.

 "It's you." 

It wasn't a question. It was barely a statement. It was a truth, unknown until now. 

"Whatever. You were a fucking bet anyway." Cormac said, rolling his eyes. At that, Theo turned, and you gripped his wrist, pulling him away from McLaggen. 

"I don't want you to get in trouble." You whispered to him. 

"Solare, right now I couldn't care less." He murmured to you. You smiled, shaking your head. "I don't think we need to do anything." You gestured to a furious Ravenclaw girl. 

"You said you'd broken up." She glared at Cormac. "Y/N, girl, I swear I wouldn't have gone near him if I'd known you were still together." She said, turning to you apologetically. You shook your head, smiling. 

"Don't worry." She smiled gratefully, before her friends dragged him off, no doubt to violently insult him.

You turned back to Theo, before you hugged him tightly. He started, before he wrapped you into a hug, putting his chin on your head. (Before someone says something about being a pick me short girl, I'm literally 5'2 irl lol I'm basing this off of my height and experiences (or lack of)

"So..." You whispered, looking up at him. He smiled down at you, that small smile reserved only for you. 

"I know." He exhaled. 

"Why didn't you tell me? It's not like you didn't have time, hell, you must have known like eight months?" You said, upset. 

"I wanted you to come to me because you like me, not because we habe some soul connection. And I was pretty sure I was the last guy around that you'd want as your soulmate. When you described your ideal soulmate, you said someone willing to defend you, and when I did, you told me I didn't need to. I was confused, Bella." He said desperately.

"I told you you didn't need to because I hate seeing you hurt! It physically pains me, Teddy." Theo tightened his hold on you at that. "I really really care about you Theo, and that's probably because I'm desperately in love with you." You said, cheeks warming as you looked down. "You feel right. And you were the first thing I saw when I woke up, which is why I was always able to see colours." You realised.

You felt a hand on your chin, tilting your face up before a pair of lips met your forehead. Then your nose. Then each of your cheeks. The corner of your mouth. And finally, your lips.

Your first kiss with Theo was everything you had imagined in your little daydreams before bed to help you fall asleep. Except, this time, your brain hadn't just skipped to the good part, you had actually gone through and experienced all the build up. And god was it worth it. 

He pulled back after a moment, and your lips chased his, eliciting a chuckle from him as he kissed you back. 

"I love you like you are my oxygen. My sunshine." He murmurs to you, holding you close and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You giggled.

"We've both been such idiots." You whispered, smiling. 

"Thank god Pansy told me you love me or this would have been mortifying." He smirked, laughing lowly. You gasped. 

"PANSY!" You struggled against the hands around your waist, attempting to get to her. "THEO- LET- ME- GO!" You glared at your soulmate as he chuckled.  

"Much as I'd love to see you try fight, love, I don't want you to hurt your friends." You glared. "WHY?!"

"You'd be sad in the morning." He said, smiling. 

"Seriously? That's your only objection?" Pansy looked unimpressed. 

Theo shrugged. "If it makes her happy." He smiled down at you, where you had given up in your attempts to escape and were relaxing back into his warmth. 

"Damn you and your stupid perfectness." You whispered to him, , and he leaned down and kissed you until you were smiling again.

A/N: My first soulmate AU! GAH! Hope you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment or reblog if you did, requests still open, have a good one <3

5.3K words

[honeygrahambitch]

"Now there are two things we can do." Brian said and looked at Beverly and Jimmy. "We tell Tim that Will is in a relationship or we let Tim be delusional just so we can see Dr. Lecter being jealous right in front of us."

"Tim from the HR department?" Jimmy asked a bit lost. "I go on vacation for once and I miss all the drama."

"Basically, this guy Tim is fruity." Beverly explained. "He's been visiting the lab for all kinds of stupid reasons only to interact with Will or to ask us about Will."

"Why didn't you tell him? He's taken for life."

"That's exactly what I was telling you two just now. We could tell him or we could see what happens." Brian went on. "Imagine being Will and having two men fight for you."

"Are you jealous, Z?" Beverly asked, making Brian scowl.

"No one is fighting for Will, Hannibal has already won."

"He has but does he seem to be the type to accept other people flirting with his hubby?" Jimmy asked rhetorically.

"That's a different story, you wouldn't want to see a man flirt with your wife either."

"Dr. Lecter is consulting on the case today. If we are lucky, Tim will come by. The funniest part is that Will is completely oblivious to his attempts."

*

"The victims not only have the eye colour in common. That was supposed to throw us off." Will said thoughtfully as he looked at the three bodies. "It's something else."

"We ran all the tests. Nothing similar." Jimmy replied.

"I mean, they did have the same blood type." Beverly added. "They are all B negative."

"I suggest you all find something more specific than that, we are not about to tell people to stay indoors if they have green eyes and the B negative blood type." Jack demanded a bit too impatiently. "Doctor?"

Hannibal was reading the case file just as Beverly was handing him the report following their tests. "We will find it, Jack." He replied not even lifting his glance but reassuringly enough for Jack to be satisfied.

The door of the lab opened and everyone moved their glance towards the visitor.

"Oh, hi, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

As soon as everyone noticed it was Tim, their attention went back to the case file. Brian elbowed Jimmy subtly but not discreet enough for Hannibal to miss it. What he didn't miss was also the fact that this man who had just entered smelled really cheap.

"I hope I'm not intruding, I will be real quick."

Jack rolled his eyes. "What, Tim? What is it? Unless you solve this case I don't want to know."

Tim turned his head away from the dead bodies, visibly horrified. "I...sorry, no, not my domain. Unless they are trying to apply for a job here." He said and laughed awkwardly.

The joke made everyone in the room eye him at the same time, in a way that made Tim wish for the earth to swallow him.

"Anyway...I brought Will a coffee."

Hannibal flipped the page loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear it. "There is not sufficient information on the third victim. No medical history." He said as he watched the man hand Will the cup of coffee.

He gave Beverly a questioning glance. If anyone in that lab knew what was going on, she was the one. She shrugged awkwardly.

"We couldn't contact any relative of the last victim yet. That is why a lot of information is missing." Will explained. "Thanks'." He said absently as he accepted the cup of coffee.

Tim smiled widely, making Brian bite his own tongue in an attempt not to laugh.

"I like your shirt." Tim blurted out just like a teen who has been practicing the whole morning in front of the mirror.

Will was not phased, he was so focused on the third body that he didn't even hear the remark.

"I do too, I got it for him." Hannibal replied, making all the eyes in the room go to him. To Hannibal, that was never something to intimidate him. On the contrary. "It matches his eye color."

Brian kicked Jimmy again almost making him lose his balance.

However the most precious view in the room was the way Tim's face paled instantly. Out of pure stupidity, he tried to feed his own delusion and went on to ask:

"Aren't you Will's psychiatrist?" He had to convince himself that handsome man was nothing more than that.

Hannibal appreciated the poor thing for doing his homework. Although not completely.

This time Brian could not hold back his laughter, earning a punch in the shoulder from Jimmy.

Jack sighed loudly in his habitual "why can we never focus on the case" manner and didn't even make an effort to explain anything. "Please return to the HR office if you are done."

Hannibal made a mental note. Tim from HR. It was just as good as a business card. "Not anymore. Fact which makes buying clothes for my husband completely ethical."

Will lifted an eyebrow subtly.

"I didn't know Will was married." Tim mumbled taken aback, his heart and spirit visibly breaking.

"Will didn't know either." Will replied. "But I suppose I'm as good as married, indeed." He added thoughtfully before looking at one particular detail on each body.

"How does this discussion help us solve the case?" Jack asked, the frustration visible on his face.

"It does, in fact. If you check the victims you will notice they each wear the same ring. If you trace that back to the jewelry shop they got it from, we will have a new lead."

"I should have Tim in the lab more often." Jack said, pleased by the new connection.

"I don't think I will ever be able to come by. I don't like being led on." Tim said and left the room, making Brian almost choke.

"Who was that?" Will asked when he heard the door of the lab. "And how did I end up with this coffee?"

[noneorother]

The art director & the Good Omens book cover tier list of doom, part 1

part 1 l part 2

This is going to have to be a multi-part series because there are *checks notes* 64 different covers that I've found so far.

I am your resident Art Director/Good Omens enthusiast, and welcome to my completely meta-free book cover tier list. Listen, making a book cover is HARD. I should know. But while we salute these artists for their hard work and time, I think we can all admit that once in a while, the vision is just not on. And on very rare occasions, publishers seemed to have managed to commission the cover art directly from hell... 1. The original UK cover

Ahh, the standard by which all shall be judged. We're starting off with a nice & easy cover, with adorable woodcuts of Aziraphale and Crowley flanking a custom Good Omens font! While I have to take a few points off for the terrible kerning of the word "GoOD", the blockprint vibes and general bitchiness of Aziraphale's teeny weeny wittle face, along with the sick colour palette puts the orignial in my good graces. Tier: Great

2. The duelling US covers

Progress! Hail to the designer who figured out trying to make "GoOD" and "OMeNs" fit the same width was a fool's errand, and even managed to IMPROVE on the original handmade title by adding a little halo and devil's tale to the design. Aziraphale and Crowley are facing each other, while also managing to serve absolute cunt. Aziraphale is wearing EIGHTIES SNEAKERS. Crowley's little snake boots have HEELS. They've managed to keep the woodcut vibes and colour simplicity, while balancing out the full title of the book. Both authors get to trade off on who's name comes first! Dare I say, this is a work of genius. I could dock some points for Crowley's sad bat wings growing out of his right clavicle, but who am I to question greatness.

Tier: Blessed by God Herself

3. The Halo Master Chief(?) cover

How the mighty have fallen... As a Canadian child, I was subjected to maybe the most horrifying ad in existence by the War Amps warning children about machine safety. This cover is the paper embodiment of that ad. I am confused by the purple haze. I am frightened by the seeming ethereal flatness of Adam and Dog. I am strangely aroused by Aziraphale's eyebrows, and intensely saddened by the terrible outline/drop shadow they had to inflict on the type to fit "Pratchett" in that god awful space. Tier: WTF

4. Germany, Ein Gutes Omen covers

This cover inexplicably exists in two colour ways: red and teal. I put the audiobook cover here so you could experience the full illustration, and also how fucked up it is that they cropped the book version to include three horse-people of the apocalypse, but cut off DEATH on the regular cover. Points must be given for drawing a pretty slick Bentley, but I think we have to take even more points away for turning Crowley into a Ray Charles/Mike Wazowski hybrid. The ducks are nice. Tier: Not so Good (Omens)

5. Germany, Ein Gutes Omen covers continued

I don't know if the German designer of this cover *knew* that they were using western yeehaw cowboy woodblock letters when they made this cover, but judging by how they spaced the rest of the text at the bottom, THEY DID NOT CARE. And that seems to be a running theme for this one. We get kind of a duality thing going on with the black and pink background, but it just seems like somebody whispered the general themes of Good Omens into a jar, and threw it down a well, and this poor chap came along and picked it up. The baffling choice to align every piece of text on the cover *except* Neil Gaiman's name which is right aligned and rotated 90 degrees (not even real vertical type) will haunt my dreams, I think.

Tier: Bad

6. US, UK The Traffic Jam cover

For the love of Good Omens, WHY. I can think of so many more interesting symbols to put on the cover of this book than the ODEGRA SIGIL TRAFFIC JAM. Props for keeping the good colours and type, but like, I think this cover was secretly designed by @amtrak-official, or someone who just really, really likes public works. Tier: Does the Job

7. France, De bons présages cover

Leave it to France to make sure people know that Aziraphale and Crowley fuck severely. While I can't condone leaving out half the title of the book (and thinking a red carpenter's square counts as decoration), I can begrudgingly acknowledge that Ron Pearlman and Benedict Cumberbatch's love child is excellent Crowley casting. I think I give this a solid dark academia/10. Tier: Good (Omens)

8. France, De bons présages covers continued

Just imagine with me, if you will, the absolutely hilarious reality that this cover posits: Good Omens is exactly the same in every respect, but Crowley drives a pink 1950s convertible. Why do all of the colours on this cover look like they've been pre-digested? Why are the font choices and placement so bafflingly bad. My face is the demon's face holding that car. I feel his pain.

Tier: WTF

9. France, De bons présages covers continued

Minus points for not managing to write the full title of the book once again. I don't know what it is with the French. They seem pretty set on Good Omens being demonic. While I do appreciate a good Bosch-style demon party, the dude in the middle confounds me. All-caps Museo Sans that isn't even *centred* in the frame is just so lazy. I am le tired. Tier: Bad

10. France, De bons présages covers continued

Uhh. The font. The font is okay.... I think? Yeah. The font and kerning are. Okay. OHHH GOD I LOOKED DOWN BELOW THE TEXT WHYYYY. Tier: WTF

END of round one. I need a nap.

[writerswall26]

My Sweet Cairo (Part 3)

Synopsis: The Ravens' Soccer team Captain fell in love for Cairo Sweet

Warning: Slight cursing, Student-Teacher relations, Anger rage. Other than that, none that I know of (but feel free to correct me)

Words: 2.2k

Masterlist | Previous Part| Next Part

A/N: Some small fluff before the start of it all. Also, I apologize to all the football (yes! I call it football, they use their foot! Sue me! But for the sake of the story, I'll call it soccer.) enthusiast out there that knows their thing. Happy Reading!

Y/N was on her way home on friday when she noticed a car on Cairo's driveway. She did not expect Cairo's parents to be home. She slowed down for a couple of moments only to be greeted by Mr. Miller walking out of Cairo's front door, looking horrified and dishevelled and wet.

There was stinging in her eyes as she watched their literature teacher run to his car and drive off without looking back. She watched him until he was out of sight before she let the tears fall. The anger inside her bubbling once again. She rode her bike, went home and slammed her bedroom door shut. Her mum's at the hospital right now, she's on call.

The next thing she knows, she's throwing everything that she got her hands on, punching a hole in the wall every chance she gets. Flash backs coming to her. She despises them. Students like them, like Cairo.

"Fuck you!" She shouted, throwing a lamp on the wall. "Fuck all of you!" She shouted before her sobs were heard. Her body slumping on her closet door as she cried. Her body was shaking. She couldn't take it.

The flashback of herself running to her parents' bedroom when she heard the gunshot, the red colour flowing down the floor, and the sight of her father's unmoving body, a bullet hole in his head as the gun's dropped on the floor. All of it, coming back to her like a tidal wave, taking her down with it and not letting her breathe even for a second. Then she was out cold.

When she woke up, her room was already tidied up, no more shattered glasses on the floor, the holes on the wall were still there, her hand bandaged up gently. She groaned as she pushed herself up, looking around her room. It was like the scene from last night did not happen. The only evidence of it were the holes.

When she got down to get herself lunch, which she did not notice, she found her mother already preparing the table. Y/M/N gave her daughter a smile as she patted the empty spot beside her.

"I was going to wake you up in a bit. Big night tonight." Y/M/N said, not mentioning or asking what the hell happened last night. She knows better.

"What time did you come in last night?" Y/N asked her mother who turned to her with a smile.

"Just a little over midnight. I was gonna check in on you but you were passed out cold on the floor so I dragged your heavy ass on your bed. Rough day yesterday?" Y/M/N said, not wanting to ask questions. She wants to let her daughter feel free to tell her things.

Y/N nodded. "It was, yeah. Or maybe the championship game is getting ahead of me. Thanks for patching my hand, cleaning my room, and dragging my huge ass on my bed." She smiled.

Y/M/N chuckled as they started to eat. "Are you ready for tonight's game? You know I'm still extremely proud of you even if you sit this down, right?" She assured.

"Nah, I can't. I want to win this game and whack Mr. Miller with the championship cup, together with my MVP trophy." She joked, hypothetically.

"Ooff, that's a bit aggressive." Y/M/N said, making Y/N laugh.

"We have a bet going on. I don't want to lose to a one time book publishing writer." Y/N said, there was something in her voice that Y/M/N can't quite pinpoint on, but she did not push it.

"I'll see you at school, mum." Y/N bid her mum goodbye a couple of hours after lunch to go get ready for the championship game.

"Good luck, sweetheart." Y/M/N told her daughter and gave her a kiss on the cheek before she let Y/N go.

When Y/N got to the locker room, everyone was already there, preparing.

"Where have you been, man? And what happened to your hand?" Jasmine was the first to find her.

Y/N just smiled before she put her duffel bag down, got her clothes and shoes out and went to go change. They didn't have enough time to speak as it was about to start in a few minutes. After Y/N changed, she removed the bandage in her hand with a wince, seeing the wounds but paying no mind as coach Fillmore clapped his hands to get their attention.

He did his usual motivational speech but this time, a bit aggressive and rough. Then they all turned to Y/N who was not in her usual smiling face.

"The Sharks were the hardest bunch to defeat in the rosters this year. But we already did that. However, we don't want to be complacent. The timberwolves were a menace last season, we managed to beat them but this is different. They're gonna be rough and dirty. So I suggest, if you must, join them at their game." She said, aggression and venom in her voice.

Everyone was quiet after that. They know she was not here to play and she's gonna do whatever means necessary to win that cup. Coach noticed the tense atmosphere so he clapped his hands and got their attention.

"Alright! Let's get out there and get this cup! Go, Ravens!" He shouted, guiding his team out the lockers to the dugout.

Y/N was front in line as they waited for their team name to be called. The usual starter went on with the national anthem and rules laid down from the refs.

"You sure you're down to play?" Coach Fillmore asked when he got a few moments with Y/N before the game started.

"Yes, sir." Y/N said, looking at the fields to focus herself.

"Y/N." He called out which got her to look at him. He was worried, she can see that. Her body is whacked and he's not sure if she's really ready for this game emotionally.

"I can do this. I can play." She assured them with a burning desire to win in her eyes. The coach nodded, not knowing what to say or do so he let her.

As soon as they got on the field, Y/N was aggressive. She was soloing the fields left and right, kicking the ball to the post whenever she could but nothing was going in. She was getting frustrated when the last 5 minutes of the first half came so she did what she knew in the moment, slamming bodies and aggressive goal kicking.

She heard a whistle blowing and then a yellow card on her face by the time the first half was over.

Y/N slammed the door of the locker room as soon as she got inside, then Jasmine lunged at her, screaming at her.

"What the fuck were you thinking?! What was that?!" Jasmine keeps berating her while their teammates are pulling Jasmine off her.

"Y/L/N! What was that?!" Coach Fillmore followed as Y/N fixed herself. "Get your ass out of here and take a breather before I pull you out of the game all together!"

Y/N picked up her water bottle and stormed out of the locker room. She was pacing back and forth on the dark dugout before throwing her water bottle on the wall.

"Y/N!" Someone called out, a voice she knew all too well.

"Cairo, get away from me, I swear to God." Y/N angrily said, facing the shorter girl as she breathes heavily.

Cairo stared at her for a moment before walking towards her but she stepped back.

"Leave, now!" She shouted, making Cairo flinched, but she made no attempt to leave.

"What is happening to you? You're throwing away your game, your championship. You literally tackled a player out there." Cairo said, a certain sweetness in her voice that made Y/N's knees buckle but she stood firm.

"What the fuck do you care?" Y/N asked aggressively. "Why are you even here?!"

"Because I care for you, I want you to win this game." Cairo said, slowly walking towards her, wanting their distance to close in so she could hold Y/N but the taller girl kept walking back.

"I saw you." Y/N said, staring at Cairo to see her reaction. "At Vanderbilt. With Mr. Miller. That's why you rejected my invite right? Because you were with Mr. Miller?"

Cairo's brows furrowed for a bit, Y/N almost saw her panic before Cairo smiled and walked towards her, holding a hand on her chest.

"Is that why you've been acting all weird lately? Because you saw me with Mr. Miller?" Cairo asked, her voice laced with amusement. "He's helping me with my essay, Y/N. It was nothing."

Y/N shook her head, not believing what she's hearing but Cairo held her cheek, pulling her face so she could look at the brunette in front of her. Cairo's smile never left her face as she caressed Y/N's face gently. Calming the taller girl.

"Are you jealous?" She asked, amused.

Y/N rolled her eyes and looked away again but Cairo pulled her face back so she could look at her.

"You're really jealous." Cairo let out a giggle before she pulled Y/N's face and gave her a long sweet kiss.

When Cairo pulled away, there was still the sweet smile, her forehead on Y/N's forehead.

"Y/N, I like you. I know I should've told you this earlier." She said.

"Then what was Mr. Miller doing at your house? Last friday. I saw him walk out of your front door looking bothered and disoriented." She asked, pulling herself away.

Cairo gave her a look. "There was a small mishap that happened, he accidentally grabbed my phone so he went to my place to give it back. He was supposed to be on a weekend getaway with his wife when she called it off because there was something wrong, I don't know."

Y/N stared at Cairo for a long time, reading her, seeing a semblance of a lie, but nothing. Then she sighed, walking over to Cairo and leaning her head on the shorter girl's shoulder. Cairo's hand was immediately at the back of her head, playing with her hair, soothing her.

"I cannot believe I got jealous over nothing." Y/N groaned before she pulled her head back to look at Cairo who's already giggling.

"Maybe next time before you go all hulk on everyone, try to ask me first."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Y/N said before she leaned forward to capture Cairo's lips for the last time.

When she pulled back, there was already a smile on her face. All the anger and resentment bubbling down with everything that Cairo said. She's finally at peace.

"Now, go back there. Apologize to your team and to coach Fillmore. Apologize to that player you tackled. And go win this damn championship." Cairo told her sweetly. Y/N nodded before she straightened up.

"See you after I win this game." Y/N said and went back to the locker room. When she got there, the team was already waiting for her, 2 minutes before the second half started.

"I'm sorry. My head is in shambles, I was a mess. But I promise, I am all calmed and ready to play nice." She told them.

Her team looked at each other before Jasmine stood up and walked to her. Jasmine smiled, holding a hand.

"Let's get this championship done." Jasmine said. Y/N took her hand before the locker room erupted in cheers and hype.

"Alright!" Coach shut them up. "We're gonna play nice, play fair, and we're gonna score. Ready?"

"Yes, sir!" Everyone shouted before they were out of the locker room and into the fields.

Y/N walked to the player she tackled and apologized. The player was pissed to say the least but she accepted Y/N apology and playfully taunted her. The game went smoothly with no aggressiveness.

"Y/L/N ran the fields, dodging 2 players at a time, the ball steady in her feet, she sidestepped and GOAL!" The commentator said, watching in anticipation as the Ravens scored their winning goal for the championship.

The stands erupted in cheers and whistles. The ravens tackled Y/N with a hug, throwing her on their shoulder and chanting her name. It was a wonderful game for both teams despite the earlier play.

Y/N held the championship trophy up, looking up at the sky with teary eyes.

"For you, dad." She muttered before she was let down to celebrate.

The first person Y/N looked for was her mum, who was patiently waiting on the side, tears in her eyes, her hands held together. Y/N ran to her mum and gave her a tight hug.

"I'm so so proud of you, darling!" Y/M/N said, holding her daughter's face to give her a kiss. Y/N let her mum before she gave her the MVP trophy as well.

"This game is for you, and dad." She said, smiling widely at her mum who sobbed. She held her mum tightly in her arms.

"Your father would be so proud of you, he would be so proud." Y/M/N cried in her daughter's arms.

When her mum finally calmed down, Y/M/N told her to go celebrate so she did. She looked around until she found the person she was looking for, she ran to Cairo and hugged her tight, making the shorter girl laugh in her arms.

"Congratulations, baby. I'm so proud of you." Cairo said, patting Y/N's back before the taller girl pulled away.

"I bet you are." Y/N said before she leaned down and gave Cairo a loving kiss.

They heard the Ravens shouting and cheering but they paid no mind as they got lost in their own world.

[puripurin]

Again, thanks 4 da idea, @littlekohai77!! Now this is the one where cute yan monster's darling is meeting his mother.

Tw: rape (a person mentioned in an ask.)

— "You have a human mother??" You said in confusion. I mean, you could see it, but was there anyone who could survive this long with a hanging jaw? It's been a few weeks since you met Aimilios, but you've never seen his mother roaming around.

"Yeah! You've never seen her because my mama is always in the basement of the building now because in recent years, many people have come and tried to "save" her, I don't know why, though. She looks safe and happy! She enjoys running around, hiding from my father, and loves being tossed around him. They're actually trying to kidnap her and experiment on her because she's very pretty. That's what I've come up with. How horrifying." You tried your best not to look skeptical, though. You didn't want him to burst out crying because you told him what people actually see when a woman is running around in an abandoned building being manhandled by a monster. So you kept your mouth shut on that part and changed the topic to his father.

"Wait, but your father is that crazy horned bastard who doesn't like me?" You furrowed your eyebrows as Aimilios tilted his head, trying to understand what you mean.

"Yeah, and he and my mama love each other very much! Just like you and me, we love each other very much, mh! You are my one and only." He hugged you and snuggled into you before grabbing your hands.

"Because papa finally trusts you enough. He finally allowed me to show you where mama is staying and meet her. So can we meet her now?" He smiles at you and grips your hands tightly. Although you go swooped up into this ridiculous situation by force, you could tell that it means a lot to him to see his mother.

"I-... okay, we can see her." He squeezed your hands tightly and hugged you one more time before leading you down a flight of steps to the basement. He breathed in before opening the door too fast and hit himself in the face and slammed his hand on the wall when he pulled the door open. He slowly crumbles to the floor in pain.

"Oh! Amy, is that you– ACK!" You heard a harsh thud as the woman fell to the ground. You slowly led Aimilios inside the room with the hand that wasn't swollen with pain and saw the woman covering her mouth in pain. How unfortunate is this family that they get injuries at the same time??

After a couple of minutes, it was silent. Aimilios' mother was looking away in embarrassment as she held an ice pack to her lips while Aimilios, who was sitting next to you, held an ice pack to his nose and his hand was on the table with an ice pack resting on top of it.

Now that you're looking at her, you can see where Aimilios' cuteness came from. This woman looks young, almost similar in age to Aimilios, and has the exact same eyebrows, eye shape, and nose as him. The eye colour came from his father, but his hair? You have no idea where it came out from.

"R-right. I'm sorry about that you had to witness that, (Y/n)... My first impression of you must be bad, so I'm sorry about that." She lifted the ice pack when she needed to speak and was extremely embarrassed by the situation.

"Ah, no worries. I can see where Aimilios got his clumsiness from. My name is (Y/n) (L/n), and im 23." You smiled at her and gave your hand for her to shake, to which she obliged to.

"You can just call me mom. I'm the mother of Aimilios and the wife of that grumpy little beast. Im 44 years old." She smiled as you looked surprised.

"44? You look the same age as Aimilios!" His mother just chuckled and put her hand on her cheek from the compliment.

"So how did you meet Aimilios because I have a feeling that he's lying to me about saving you from one of the ruined rooms in this place." Aimilios' face exploded into a bright red blush.

"N-no! I wasn't lying! Mom!" Aimilios covered your ears, but it was too late, you burst out in laughter.

"T-that's what he told you!?!? Hahahahaha!" You wiped your nonexistent tears as Aimilios put the ice packs into the bowl on the table and covered his face from embarrassment. His mother let out a couple of chuckles.

"Well, I was exploring this place because I was bored, and when I was walking when all of a sudden, he came out only to hit his face on a hanging piece of metal. He was going to cry--" You laughed, but Aimilios covered your mouth.

"I-I'm going to get water." He said in embarrassment and shuffled to the makeshift kitchen to open the tap. He huffed turned back.

"Mom... There's no water. I'll go outside to turn on the water..." He quickly left with a set of keys. As soon as you heard the door clicked, you turned back to the mother.

"Why are you not telling him the fact that people are really trying to save you out of concern??" You spoke out, really wanting to know the reason why she hasn't told him anything. His mother slapped a hand over her mouth and closed her eyes out of embarrassment.

"You don't know how hard it it to go up to him and say, "Oh, it's not because people want to kidnap me because they want experiment on me, it's because when i have fun with my husband, they either think he's mauling me to death or raping me! Sorry, son!" It's not easy-" There was a drop of keys both you and his mom eyes widened in horror as Aimilios was standing at the door, tears welling in his eyes.

"Mom! (Y/n)! How could you lie to me!!!" He cries and runs away.

"aMy NOOOOO!!!"

Okay, okay, that ending was super fun to write 💀💀 this is better than the storytelling one cus this is goofy asf. Anyways how do yall like the names ive picked out for cute yan monster and his father? I better hear amazing, Googling shit is hard /j

Also the hair colour thing is intentional cus i have an idea with that 🤭 sorry if your oc has blond hair thoughhh.

Note prooftread.

Edut: forgor tags again. Mb

[acapelladitty]

friction and harmony

Pairing: Cooper Howard/Lucy Maclean

Summary: One cruel incident pushes Lucy over the edge and a fight with Cooper turns physical in a way which changes their dynamic forever. (4.7k words)

(warnings for: blood, gun violence, first time sex, biting, rough sex, heavy petting, unprotected sex, arguments, verbal cruelty, desperation, physical violence, mutual orgasm, mild foreplay)

Fic Masterlist

Link to AO3

Keeping close to the fire as the approaching night stole the heat from the air, Lucy couldn't stop her racing, disjointed thoughts from playing the earlier days events with Cooper in a grim and repeating loop. With every passing moment, she could feel the annoyance in her chest roiling anew and her mouth set into a tight line as she recalled her role in the violence.

The handkerchief coming away from his lips stained with fresh blood, the old man who had introduced himself as Mr. Daniels glared at it distastefully as he recovered from his coughing fit and returned the filthy rag to his inner pocket.

"Nasty bit of business." Mr. Daniels muttered, mostly to himself, before glancing back at the pair who stood with their caps in hand. "But anyway, what was my offer again? Oh, yeah. Twenty caps, three vials."

"Seems reasonable."

Casting Lucy a withering look at her audible enthusiasm, Cooper clearly disagreed with her naive assessment.

"I could make your fine ass walk to the next town over and get me five vials for half that." He was quick to counter, crossing his arms over his chest as Cooper split his attention between Lucy and the obvious tremble of the old mans limbs as he struggled to bring his lit cigarette to his lips. "So let's re-assess the situation here."

Mr. Daniels shrugged with a nasty cough as he cleared his throat of phlegm. "Can't do any better than that. Got shit to buy and shit to pay off."

His face sunken and pallid, the old man was clearly unwell. Most likely dying, if the bloodied handkerchief was anything to go by, and Lucy felt a swell of pity in her heart as she listened to Cooper continue to argue his point without care or mercy.

"Ain't asking for the deal of the century here, but I ain't some dumbass vault dweller-"

"Hey!" Lucy interjected defensively.

"- who don't know how these here exchanges work. I'll give you fifteen for three. Final offer."

Unable to rise from his chair due to whatever ailments were afflicting him, Mr Daniels pointed at a rusted metal box which sat off to the side of his chair as he caught Lucy's eye and nodded to accept the ghouls spoken offer.

"Go look in there, Miss. You'll find what you and your ghoul friend need."

Nodding with a wide smile, Lucy diligently walked over and opened the container. Inside lay a handful of vials of the lurid yellow drug which she had quickly come to discover Cooper needed to delay the inevitable and prevent himself from turning feral. What made up the odd compound, she had no idea, but it was almost the same consistency as rad-away if it were developed in a completely off colour.

Cooper's golden rule of being side-tracked by bullshit was a beast of his own making as ensuring a constant supply of this stuff had proven to be their biggest time waste as they traversed the wastelands. Not only that, but a low supply often left Cooper in a hell of a mood as his already short temper existed on a knife edge to make him snappy and irritable.

Returning with the goods, Lucy handed them off to Cooper who accepted with a grunt. Something strange played on his leathered features and it gave Lucy pause as she glanced quickly between him and Mr Daniels but she shook it off as they concluded their deal.

Cooper spoke first, with Lucy following closely.

"Thank you, Mr. Daniels."

"Yeah, thank you! We really appreciat-"

Lucy's words cut off into a horrified gasp as the back of Mr Daniels head exploded in a shower of blood; viscera and brain quick to decorate the wooden boards behind his chair.

"No! Cooper!"

Unapologetic, Cooper had the grace to at least shrug out an explanation as he held her eye.

"Like putting down a sick dog, darlin'. Better to go out while the going's good and before the scavengers come to take you piece by piece."

Stalking over to the container which Lucy had taken the chem from, Cooper ignored her horrified spluttering as he tipped the entire box into one of his larger pockets - the clink of the vials a welcome distraction from the stare he could feel burning into the back of his skull.

"You killed him! And now you're," Lucy paused, so aghast that words failed her for a moment, "robbing him too? He didn't eve- we're better than this."

Fixing the edge of his hat so it would stay more comfortably atop his skull, Cooper refuted her point with a single tilt of his head.

"No, we ain't."

So, Lucy had fallen into an old, tried and tested punishment which she found worked wonders on Norm and others who had annoyed her down in the vault.

The silent treatment.

Since returning to their makeshift camp, she had not uttered a single word to her companion, making a point of huffing and looking away every time he caught her eye. Thus far, nothing had come of it but as dinner finished cooking on the fire, Cooper finally addressed her directly.

"As much as I'm enjoying the peace and quiet, sweetie, are you gonna sit there with that big pouting lip tripping you up all night or are you gonna pull your weight around here and plate up? Ass jerky is off the menu for little girls who won't do their chores."

In no mood for his nasty teasing, Lucy shot him a sour look as she remained stubbornly quiet.

"Don't eat then." Cooper shrugged. "See if I give a shit. I've got food, silence, and enough chem to blow your tits clean off. Life is good for a ghoul today."

Unable to let that slide and ignoring the heat of hearing him refer - crudely mind you - to her chest, Lucy dug her heels into the ground as she remained seated on an upturned barrel.

"What you did was wrong."

"Oh, she does speak." Feigning surprise, Cooper had the gall to place one hand over his chest as the other dropped a piece of meat into his mouth - his lips chewing at it noisily.

"What you did was wrong." Lucy repeated. "That old man wasn't a threat to us and you killed him."

"Bleeding heart, vaultie." Cooper barely refrained from an obvious eye-roll. "What would you rather do? Huh? Leave him for the next people to come and harvest the good parts that were left of him? I did him a kindness and you're too blind to see that."

Taking the insult in stride, Lucy was is no mood to back down on this as she met Cooper with an equal level of venom.

"You were a monster today."

"Oh, you're the monster, sweetie. Had anyone else found that old coot, they wouldn't have been half as nice. A quick shot to the head is a better death than most get out here. And I get some extra sauce outta his stash. Win/win, vaultie."

"Your chem isn't worth killing people for, Cooper." As indignant as ever, Lucy's arms came to rest on her knees as her gaze bored into his own - attempting to make him see her point though sheer willpower alone.

Chem was a sensitive subject for Cooper and his dependence on finding the drug had led him into acts which would make the average person, even in this shithole world, recoil in disgust. But without it, he would lose what little part of himself remained and, with that, his only chance to find his daughter and punish those responsible for fucking the world up as much as it was.

"We need those meds." Cooper growled, frustration at her utter refusal to see the necessity of his actions making his temper flair. "Unless you fancy your chances at taking me on when the last of my marbles goes and I become a real monster. See me as I am now, vaultie, and imagine how my turning would go. It ain't gonna be pretty."

"I'll do what you need me t-"

"Is that right? Will you put a bullet between my eyes without flinching? Carve me up like a fresh piece of meat with my own damn knife? Cut off my head like you did that other sorry scientist fucker?"

With nothing to say to that as a queasiness enters her features, Lucy fell back on her earlier argument.

"You didn't have to kill him."

Her comment on his need for chem having kicked the hornets nest of his attitude, Cooper slowly stood from his seated position as he towered over her - his words low and clipped, full of a warning that she was too stupid to ignore.

"If I turn, then no amount of batting those big eyes at me is going to stop me ripping you to shreds when I'm feral. I've already got quite the taste for you, sweetie. I'll seal the deal with a smile."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to KILL him!"

Lucy also stood to her feet as she held her hands on her hips and the air between them sizzled with tension as neither proved willing to concede.

"And when I'm done," Cooper continued with fire in his tone, "and your little dumbass is lying there torn and lifeless with most of your insides on the outside, then I'll send the pieces that are left over to your cowardly dear old daddy. See how he likes seeing another of the women in his life in bits."

As angry as he was, an immediate regret washed over Cooper as those final snarled words snapped free. In that same moment, Lucy froze and the indignant expression which curled her features slipped into something slack and almost lifeless.

The silence hung heavy for a moment.

Striking quicker than a cobra, Lucy's hand lashed out in the space between them and Cooper felt the hot sting of her slap as it rocked his head to the side and pulled a surprised grunt from his lips.

Instinct taking over, Cooper responded in kind as he used his much larger hand to shove her chest roughly, pushing her away with enough strength to knock her flat to the ground; her ass colliding with the dusty landscape in a solid, painful sounding thud.

"Motherfucker!"

Lucy howled the word as if it were a battle cry, scrambling to her feet with a graceful sweep of her body as she flew at him like a hellcat. Her lovely face twisted in anger as she attacked, the dark locks of her hair whirled around her shoulders as she pounded her fists against his chest.

Angry, sure, but even in her anger, Lucy Maclean was no fighter and the lack of impact that her blows were making did little to settle her mood - if anything they only served to whip her into a greater frenzy.

"You piece of shit! I hate you! Hate you! Hate that stupid hat, and coat, and your shitty rules and-"

"Then fuck off and find someone else who'll put up with your shit. I don't need your help to kill your daddy."

Halting her fists, Lucy's furious gaze - even more beautiful in its passion - blazed in Cooper's face and despite the sting of his own anger, he couldn't help but fight back a smirk as the adrenaline of their argument caused heat to lance through his groin.

"You would be dead without me." Huffing her hair out of her face, Lucy hurled the words like a fist, casting up her choice to save him for the first time since the event took place.

Matching her energy, Cooper couldn't help but retort with his own act of mercy.

"And I could have left you to be used and sold as a breeding bitch to some nasty fuckers who wouldn't have treated you half as sweetly as I have. Another fair exchange between us."

"I hate you!"

"Now, why the fuck should that matte-"

Her breath hot against his face, it took Cooper a moment to register the feeling of Lucy's lips on his own as she smashed her face against his. The taste of her flooded him in an instant, a sweetness which he hadn't sampled in decades as her hands clung to the edges of his coat desperately, her closed eyes the polar opposite to his own wide-blown gaze.

Stunned into silence, Cooper allowed her to explore his mouth as his body relaxed into her own - memories of his unexpected voyeurism and accompanying decision making him slack and pliant.

If she wants this, then she can have it.

Consequences be damned.

Lucy only pulled away when he bit at her lower lip, the sharp pain bringing her to her senses as she snatched her mouth away.

"Ow. That hurt."

Her eyes blown and lips looking as plump as ever, Cooper cannot even pretend to be considering his options as he takes in her wide features - so easily wearing the arousal and anger which powers her.

Oh, fuck this.

"Plenty more where that came from, sweetheart."

Cooper snatched her close, chasing her kiss with one of his own as he pressed chapped lips to her much softer ones in a quick, filthy kiss.

Lucy pulled away first this time with a muted moan as she brought her hand up to his face and stroked her fingers along the ridges of his cheek. "Do you want to have sex with me, Cooper?"

"Fuck, darlin', don't think there's a man alive who would say no to that."

"You did."

Hissing as her chest brushed his own, Cooper disregarded the accusation in her tone.

"Things change. You should know that better than anyone."

"Let me see it." Lucy breathed with a considerate hum, her hands lowering to graze his lower stomach where his filthy shirt tucked into his pants. "I've thought about it, you know, how it might look. How it might feel in my hand, or inside me."

Momentarily concerned this woman may actually kill him with her shit, Cooper held back a groan at that confession - her lustful advances catching him off guard as he gathered himself enough to match her boldness.

"I ain't disappointed you yet."

Fumbling with his fly to pull his cock free, Cooper was quick to tug along the full length to ensure that nothing would catch in his slacks as he fucked her. But his movements were cut short by Lucy's hand knocking his own free as she wrapped her soft fingers around his cock.

"Oh, it's so," Lucy glanced down between them with a flushed grin as she sought out the right word to use, "thick. Okay dokay. I can do that. But none of the others have been this thick."

Deciding then and there they he would fuck her very brains out if it were the last thing he did, Cooper's chest puffed out slightly as he took in the praise with an elevated sense of male pride.

"Touch it then, darling. Get a good feel for it before it's hollowing you out and making you scream."

Bold as brass as her chest pressed flush against him, Lucy did as told and rolled her fingers along his length, mapping out every ridge and mark which marred the livid flesh. Imagining how good it would feel inside her, she buried her moan into his chest - a childish glee making her grin wide as she stroked him.

Wanting to keep his own hands busy, Cooper slipped his fingers in the space between them as he trailed his hands down her collarbone and into her dingy tank-top. She was warm and so fucking soft beneath his fingers that he exhaled steadily, his hands cupping her breasts as they slipped with her bra.

Unable to wait much longer as she called to him like a siren, his hands tugged her tank top and bra down until he were capable of freeing her tits; each breast as perky as the other as they quickly peaked in the warm air, the hard nipples surrounded by a lovely patch of darkened skin that made his mouth water.

Her skin was smooth, only the slightest hints of grime and filth messing up the perfect canvas and Cooper pushed her backwards enough to be able to bend and drop his head to her chest, the movement forcing her to release his cock. A fact he didn't care too much about as he latched his lips to the swell of her left tit, his mouth licking across the grimy skin as his blunted teeth pressed just enough to make her shudder as she pushed herself harshly into him.

"No biting anything off." Lucy gasped, only the slightest tinge of worry leaking through the lustful pant.

"Not making any promises, darlin'." Cooper answered, his voice strained as he fought the urge to do just that.

Just off, to the side of her right nipple, sat a single dark freckle and he was drawn to it like a moth, sucking the skin around it with a harshness which he knew would leave a livid mark.

"Damn, Cooper." Lucy hissed and he growled into her skin as her hand looped around his neck, fingernails digging into the sensitive skin at the nape.

"Watch those nails, little kitten. Ain't easy growing back skin."

"Gross."

Remaining hunched, Cooper's shoulders shuffled his leather duster free as he dropped it to the floor to provide some padding against the harsh ground. Lucy followed his lead, allowing him to pull her down as her hand returned to, and then refused to drop from, his cock - fingers circling the base of his length playfully as they fell to the floor.

Feeling painfully overdressed, Lucy quickly rolled to her back to pull her pants off - the blue fabric slipping free to a messy heap as she quickly readjusted to her previous positioning. Splaying her knees on either side of his hips, she teased the tip of his cock with her clothed sex for a moment before settling down, her ass pressing against his lower stomach as she straddled him.

Lucy sighed; her focus dropping past her exposed breasts to the prone ghoul below her, Cooper's hungry eyes splitting their attention between her face and chest as he gazed up at her.

"You sure about this, Lucy Maclean." Cooper asked, his cowboy hat balancing precariously atop his head as he reclined it back. "Cause it's cruel to tease a man like this if you wanna back out."

"Mmm-hmm." She responded with a hum. "I've been thinking about it for a while, Mr. Ghoul."

"Oh, I know that, darlin'. I caught quite the interesting little show last week in that storage unit."

Gasping at the reveal, Lucy rolled her hips atop his groin, her ass brushing his cock as her eyes widened.

"You saw me?"

"Coat in hand, sweetheart."

"So you knew."

In place of a response, Cooper offered a wolfish grin which was in equal parts guilty and unapologetic. Moving with a fluid roll, Cooper reversed their positions - placing Lucy flat against his coat as he pressed his heavy body down atop her.

"If we play this game, we play by my rules."

Exhilarated by how easy he handled her, his strength making her head swim with possibility, Lucy hooked her fingers within the band of her panties as she raised her groin enough to slip them past her ass and drop them off to the side.

"Okay dokay."

Fully exposed, Lucy reclined against the softened leather and some part of her knew that Cooper wouldn't be stripping off in a similar fashion; a fact which made disappointment bloom in her chest. The few glances of his skin she had snuck as they travelled told her that his entire frame was as vividly corroded as his face and hands and she wanted to see it.

Wanted to feel it under her fingers and her lips as she trailed herself across his body, exploring every roughened inch with a wicked curiosity.

But she understood his hesitation and she pushed the thoughts aside with ease as she gazed up into his eyes, the whites stark against the shadows of his sunken skin and she shivered at the intensity that poured from them.

His hand immediately dropping to her inner thigh, Cooper teased the skin there as he trailed his fingers up, ghosting across her slit as his digits brushed through the soft, dark curls which sat prettily to frame her cunt.

Lucy widened her thighs, encouraging him to slip his hand lower and it was an invitation he accepted with enthusiam - two fingers pressing between her slit to feel the growing moisture there, the digits coming away wet with her arousal.

"Soaked already, sweetie." Cooper teased, enjoying the flush in her cheeks. "Is that how all you valtuies react to the touch of a real man?"

"Cooper," all business as she quickly grabbed his fingers and used them to masturbate herself, her body jerking as his roughened skin grazed her throbbing clit, Lucy tightened her grip of his neck and hissed her demand, "shut up."

Amused and painfully aroused by her sheer boldness, Cooper filed away this side of her for future consideration. He may tease her, hurt her, make her feel like shit for her ignorance of how the real world worked, but here like this, he would treat her as an equal to see where the game led.

Adjusting his positioning, the lower half of Lucy's leg was quick to snake around his body as he dragged the blunted head of his cock across her glistening slit, the softness of her drawing a languid groan from Cooper's mouth as he coated himself in her slick - foreplay the furthest thing from either of their minds.

Jerking his hips forward in one fluid movement, Cooper was immediately grateful for how desensitised his skin had grown due to its various abuses as the wet heat which enveloped his cock was almost enough to have him shooting off then and there.

"Fucking hell." He swore, teeth biting into his lower lip as he buried his cock so deeply that his balls pressed against her ass. It was a violent thrust, animalistic and determined and Lucy Maclean met him with her own ferociousness as her nails carved fresh, sharp crescents into the skin of his neck.

The sudden fullness was overwhelming after so long of having nothing but her own fingers and Lucy basked in the discomfort. It was pain and pleasure mixed into one, and it only grew more intense as Cooper quickly set a brutal pace; his cock hammering in and out as his groin bumped against her ass with every thrust.

Incomprehensible sounds escaped Lucy at the sudden assault, a desperate mixture of muted pleas, whines and groans which only served to encourage Cooper to exhaust himself as he chased the pleasure which he has denied himself since her first offer to fuck him.

The cool, controlled façade long since abandoned, Cooper gnashed his teeth as he dropped his mouth to her neck - biting up her creamy skin as he craved a simple taste, his tongue licking free the developing sweat which their desperate fuck created.

Sparks of pleasure alighting across her skin as the length of his cock brushed against the nerves deep within her cunt with little effort, Lucy worked herself hard as she clenched around his cock to pull him as deep as possible. She had always liked it on the rougher side, the sensation of discomfort she found herself forced to endure eating her as Cooper's punishing pace glanced off her cervix and made her breath come in short, chaotic pants.

"Don't hold back, sweetie. Let me hear it."

A low cry broke free of Lucy's lips as she took his advice and Cooper responded by burying his full length within her in one particularly savage thrust which made her cry rise in pitch as her wide eyes met his own, her arousal blazing as her pupils dilated and lashes fluttered

Cooper snapped his hips forward and every thrust drew a fresh whimper from Lucy's lips as her orgasm quickly approached the point of no return, his cock and overwhelming presence making her writhe in place. With a slight shift in angle, the band of arousal within her shattered and pleasure rocketed through Lucy's nerves as her fingers clawed desperately at the thin fabric of Cooper's shirt.

"Cooper. Cooper, oh my go- Cooper."

Her lips wrapped around his name like a prayer, alternating between a blessing and a curse and he swallowed it up with a feral grin as he felt her come around him. Her walls clenching and fluttering, the pull of her muscles as she wordlessly dragged his cock deeper was enough to have him growling like a feral beast as he neared his own release.

Breath shuddering and balls tightening as he sank himself as deeply as he could, Cooper buried his orgasm in her neck as his teeth locked around the sensitive juncture where Lucy's neck met her shoulder. Sucking a livid mark into the skin, he felt his release flood her, mixing with her own as he cupped her left tit with his hand and squeezed roughly.

Cooper stayed there for a few seconds, enjoying the tight heat of her cunt until it was almost painful against his overstimulated cock and he pulled free with an obscenely wet noise which furrowed his brow at just how filthy it sounded. He was quick to drop his body to the side of her, most of his frame laying off the leather duster as he allowed the lady to keep the sweet spot.

"Wow." Lucy breathed out, puffing her hair from her lips as she shuffled her panties back up to cover her ass - the sticky discomfort of her soaked cunt unable to be fixed until they stumbled across some spare water to wet one of the rags which Cooper carried. "That was," she paused to seek out the best wording, "amazing. Cooper- you were- well you were great."

Ego inflating at the easy praise, Cooper's sweat-slicked body fought him every step of the way as he tried to hide how out of breath he was.

"Went easy on you this time, vaultie." He crooned, his gaze flicking to his sewn finger as he spotted the droplets of her release which had coated his fingers as he pulled his cock free. Bringing the digit to his mouth, he took a small taste and hummed with deep satisfaction as the sweet tang of her flooded his mouth. Immediately deciding he would need a better sample the next time they fucked, Cooper allowed her to respond to his teasing as he tilted his head to meet her eye.

"Holding back on me, huh?" Freshly fucked, Lucy's expression was wild yet sated, dark hair falling across her eyes as she stretched her arms overhead before tucking her chest back into her bra. "I won't break from a little bit of exercise, Mr. Ghoul. I can handle it."

Taking the opportunity, Lucy curled her body into his side, the warmth of his skin seeping into her exposed arms as she siphoned some of his heat to stave off the sudden chill. His only movement coming from his hands as he tucked his cock back away in his slacks, the length still coated in her mess, Cooper couldn't shift the shit-eating grin which stretched his lips as he raised one arm to act as a pillow for his head.

"Oh I doubt there's much you can't handle, Lucy Maclean."

Smiling at the way his accented vowels rolled over her name, Lucy tucked herself more deeply into his side and allowed herself to relax - excited for what was to come now that she'd finally satisfied her curiosity about what kind of lover her ghoul companion would be.

A damn good one, as it turned out, asshole behaviours aside

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 6

Part 7

[jurijurijurious]

So I've seen posts on social media talking about how some viewers have cried at the finale of Wolf Hall, with some coming back with: "I have no sympathy for Cromwell, he did XYZ, orchestrated deaths, etc" which yes is all very fair, but I feel this kind of talk both dismisses the intelligence of most viewers who already know this about the character, but also I think sorta misses the point slightly.

I admittedly cried, probably for the final five minutes of the last episode, because the whole story was unbearable and presented in a way which felt suffocating. I saw a constant rolling cycle of death and waste. I saw men and women gamble and play high stakes, often using other people as bargaining tools, and it was horrible. I saw a capricious, terrifying king killing friend after friend, servant after servant, usually once he'd wrung them out to dry and often used them to enable terrible things or as a means to an end.

Wolf Hall is written from inside Cromwell's head, of course things are coloured in his favour, that's the point. You're seeing Cromwell's history, not an unbiased account. Maybe this isn't so clear in a TV drama. But you're also seeing how normal people, how very likeable people - who have families, who pet cats, who play cards, etc - do terrible things, and how many people around them don't stop them. Because people will always be people. And we have every right to cry at the horrifying inevitably of it all.

It's not true history but it's an excellent drama which lays bear some of the absolute worst of the human condition.

[darlingofvalyria]

❝I am not a Valyrian Sex God.❞

part 03 | pucker up, buttercup

chapter summary:

[ The line of friendship dances in uncertain waters when you and Aemond play the fake dating game a little too well. Helaena reveals much more than meets the eye to Aegon, and vice versa. Oh, and Alys. Hi Alys! ]

[ 5,399 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— mostly fluff, a wee bit angsty, a little smutty - profanity, i swear a lot sorry too shhshs - no use of y/n - no gods, no kings, no betas.

a/n— thank you so much for the love this little fic is getting so far!! it truly warms my heart that you people enjoy my twisty, crackpot humour and my version of a modern au for these characters!! as much as i am grateful for george for making these characters and these stories, i have to say what propelled me to write is the beautiful community i found. truly, from the bottom of my heart. ❥ fandom is built on community. i would not have had the courage to start writing fanfiction again if not for ya'll. so thank you so much. for the consumers and the creators. you, us, are the beating heart of fandom. please take care of each other. + comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

"Please tell me I haven't inhaled so much drugs in my system that I am hallucinating our— and I say this with a lot love, okay you know what? No. Our Nasty Little Bitch of A Grudge Holder we call, lovingly, a brother, is not dating the hottest friend you have? Hel? The hottest friend you told me if I ever came anywhere near, you'd rip me a new asshole? How is Aemond's asshole still intact?? Or does our brother just have a gaping fun-house slide down there? Hello? Hellooo, pay attention to meee. This is so rude, why didn't I call Daeron?"

"Because Daeron knows nothing and I know everything?" Hel snorts, finishing up re-naming Aemond's contact from CURRENT DUMB BRO to NASTY LITTLE BITCH OF A GRUDGE HOLDER, before turning to Aegon on her laptop.

Like she predicted, Aegon is already pouting, leaning back on what Helaena remembers is their grandfather's rum-coloured leather office chair. In his office. In Oldtown.

After a quick stint in Ibiza, it seems Helaena's brother had found himself back in the country, and worse— back in their grandfather's office. Without him in it.

"Grandpa's going to kill you." Helaena snorts. "How'd you even get inside his house?"

"This is not the first time I have been faced with a locked door, baby sister."

"You broke a window didn't you?"

"I really, really had to piss."

She rolls her eyes. Hard. "You are a boy. You can literally just pee anywhere."

Aegon flutters a gasp and a hand over his chest. "Excuse me? I may have a penis, but that does not mean I have to be uncouth. For shame, Helaena. Also disgusting. But that's not why I called." He steeples his fingers as he leans forward, pressing his elbows against the nice mahogany desk. "What the fuck is happening over there? I'll be there by tomorrow and I'd like to know what the fuck is happening before I start—" he wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, " — shaking things up."

A dark look crosses Helaena's usually amiable pretty face that has Aegon leaning back. "If you do anything— and I mean anything — to ruin what I have going on, Mother may help you for I certainly won't. The Stranger will look like an old friend, Egg, don't you fucking dare."

"What the fuck," Aegon exhales, wide-eyed and horrified. "Have you been watching M. Night Shyamalan movies again?"

"No," she lies. "I'm doing this for my OTP."

 "Oh my god, you're the one who roped them together?" Aegon strangles a sigh. "Lae-lae, we've talked about this. No matter how much you think they're cute, Aemond—"

"— Aemond and Alys broke up."

"Then they'll be together again before the weekend's out." Aegon rolls his eyes. "It's Aemond."

"Not like this." Hel shakes her head. "I got her to agree, Egg. And they're like... Gods, the pictures don't do them justice. They're magnetic. They make plans at the apartment, Aemond is there all the time— my OTP is happening."

"You are playing god between two people you care about."

"What else am I supposed to do?! They're obviously so hot for each other, and now that Alys is out of the picture, and she's there, right in front of him, Egg, you should see how it is between them. The energy. It's crackling. They have inside jokes, they're so comfortable with each other, and I will have the most beautiful nephew and niece—"

"—Helaena Targaryen," Aegon admonishes with finality. Hel quiets. Often times, the siblings forget Aegon is quintessentially the oldest sibling. They had never been close to their father's actual firstborn— the age gap is wide and there's just... too much complicated family fissures in between that it feels awkward, even when they're relationship is okay, to interact or consider Rhaenyra anything past a cousin you see every other holiday because you have to, much less now that their father's dead — so Aegon is their big brother.

And though they see it in bits, in flung comet pieces that you see preciously once every few hundred years— the vibe of big brother grasps the edges and reminds the younger siblings.

Sure, he's a dick. Sure, he's a whore. Sure, he's their mother's least and most favourite headache— but Aegon is their big brother.

"You cannot play puppeteer like this. This can blow up in their faces. And they care for each other. Their friends. If this blows up in their faces, it is going to hurt."

"I know that," Helaena says quietly, pout pinched but face mostly cleared. "You don't think I don't know?"

"I think you've already outweighed your chances and your choosing a possibility."

Helaena looks truly scolded at that point, and it juts a guilt down Aegon's stomach. But Aegon likes you. Maybe not like in the way that his brother likes you— in that intense, possessive way he gets with people and things he care about because there are so few of them — but he likes you. And he loves Aemond on a bad day, and likes him on a good one.

And Aegon knows, as a superior power about crashing and burning, that this is going to hurt both of you in ways that he truly doesn't think Helaena understands.

Because he isn't blind (as his brother) (bad joke?) (probably) to what he sees in Aemond's gaze when it looks at you. Sure it's possessive, sure it's the same way he looks at most people he keeps close to his heart.

But he was the one who saw how Aemond looked at you before Alys came into the picture. Before it morphed into nothing but platonic; morphed close to how he looks at Helaena. In that soft, I'm So Glad This Person Exists I Would Kill Literally Everyone For Them.

Aegon always thought he looked at you like he wanted to devour you. Etch you into his skin until your shape is in red marks across white plane. He looked at you like I Would Kill Myself If You Asked.

It was the possibility of devotion dipped in insanity. Aemond had so few things, much less people, who so vocally, physically, and emotionally cared for him without addendums.

The only real reason he never did anything before was because you were Helaena's best friend. Helaena loved you. And he couldn't destroy that alongside the fact that you might leave his side.

And then Alys happened and that focal point moved.

Aegon knew his brother. Not as intensely, and maybe that's the reason he could see it. To see clearly past the intensity and recognise its edges. Aegon knew his brother in his marrow.

"When this crashes and burns—"

"If!" Helaena quips stubbornly. "If it crashes and burns. Come home. You'll see, Egg. Aemond just needs to see."

"And what if she doesn't reciprocate, Lae-lae? She's not hard to love, and this is Aemond." Even Helaena knows his feelings, once taken root in whatever form, can blossom.

Helaena smiles softly. "Come home. You'll see. I can see it. I've seen it. The possibility of them, and it's so pretty, Egg."

It's really not all that pretty, fake dating.

Maybe it could be, but Aemond Targaryen is such an ass.

"This is not like The Devil Wears Prada fashion montage," you grumble, pinching off the big, 60s, yellow sunglasses off your nose to glare pointedly at the man sat on lounge chair. "All the zippers and tugging— this is not as pretty! And I look ridiculous! I don't wear dresses like these, Aemy!"

"You don't look ridiculous, you look like my girlfriend." He makes his emphasis with an inch raised eyebrow and pouty lips twitching not to laugh. "That's the point, is it not?"

You make a drawl huff. It's not just that his words were right— that's what the past hour has been, roaming around all these big named fashion brands where the staff just knows Aemond Targaryen, if not just by him sauntering in with all the swagger of an asshole you'd walk the other side of the street to ignore, then by the flash of his black card (or three, 'cause what the fuck is money to Targaryens holy shit) — but the way he's sitting as he appraises every look he's chosen for you.

He's lax, as could be in his usually perfect posture, with his hips in the middle, and one leg braced down whilst the other is raised to his other thigh. A confident man's sitting position, with an arm over the length of the sofa, balancing a champagne a trying-to-suppress-her-giddiness staff gave him.

At your disapproved glare— down on your nose at him because you're standing over him, lording over him, as he's sitting down — and he's smirking up at you. As if the power dynamics don't shift by whoever is looming over the other.

Aemond doesn't need to stand to make you feel all fluttery with a smirk and a strong gaze against your body. His eyes gaze from the bottom of your heeled toes, slow, slow, slow, until it reached the top of your head.

Surely you've only imagined his gaze lingering on certain parts of you that now felt hot and tingly.

Surely.

"Plus," he continues with a hum. A sip of champagne. "Isn't this your idea?"

"Yes, but—"

"Didn't you tell me that I should prepare the kind of outfits that Aemond Targaryen's girlfriend would wear—"

 "Yes, but I—"

He leans forward, taking pleasure in arguing with you, as he settles his elbows on his knees, pressing both of his feet flat on the tile. He's looking up, still, but his eyes are intense and the corner of his mouth is twitching from a grin he's trying to fight.

"And even when I told you that didn't matter, that whatever you wore would be fine, you insisted?"

"Because I thought it'd be fun!" you growl and he falls in faint, amused laughter. His eye is sparkling and there's a joy to him that makes you giddy. You truly have missed Aemond as you know him. "Because I wanted a fun dress-up montage, but nothing about this is fun! Why are you choosing so many goddamned zippers, and they're all so fucking tight?"

You plop beside him, stealing his champagne. Staff look away, trying not to ogle too much between you two. As you take sips of his drink, his hand, still over the sofa's arm, begin drawing idle circles on your exposed shoulders. It warms you and calms you down, melting further in the seat beside him.

"I liked the dresses," he finally murmurs. "The ones before this. The flowy fabric ones."

"Those are summer dresses," you say though don't know why.

"Hm," he hums. "You look pretty in them."

You look up at him and he's looking at you, a small smile on his face. The proximity is too near to be proper but not near enough if you're fake dating. You study his silver lashes and the scarred flesh.

"Thanks."

"We'll get them. Is that alright with you?"

You snort softly. "You're paying, Aemy. You can do whatever you want. Can't believe this is how your dates with Alys usually went."

Hatching plans meant unloading information about his former relationship with her. Going through their relationship so you could understand it better, better proportioned the good and the bad, and secretly, make him see the red flags that should jump out in clear, plastic red.

"Not at first." He's looking away now, but his finger is still drawing circles. There's a wistful tone to his voice, like seeing through a dream and a memory. "But when it got... bad, it seemed like the only time we weren't fighting was when we were in public. Almost subconsciously, whenever things got tensed, I'd offer to take us out. Do anything outside of our bubble. Money isn't an issue, and before Alys said she felt like a... cheap whore than a girlfriend, buying things for her, spending time looking through things to wear, to match almost, was safe."

"Gift Giving," you mutter with a nod. He turns.

"What was that?"

"A love language." He cocks his head. You sigh. "I mean it's stupid and not really theoretically accurate, but for fun, there's five types of love languages. People do this test thing and sort of box up the kind of love language you want to receive and what you give— but truly, in my opinion, a true kind of love demands all five for it to work."

He hums, intrigued. "And what are the five?"

"Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving. But, you know, all of those should be given by a partner, in increments they can do for you. There shouldn't be a boxed fixture of what your relationship could be."

You shrug, standing up and stretching. You don't see him looking at you in the way that he has been for the past few days, and he doesn't know the tingles and feelings you keep between a smile and a sigh.

"Love looks different for everyone but it should have the same concept."

"And what concept is that?"

You turn to him, smiling. "That if you truly love someone, you can try anything. Love doesn't demand things that you do for the simple reason that you love the person enough."

"Love can be complicated," he says, and he's not arguing, not really. He isn't begging for you to understand. He is simply saying.

"Love can," you agree. "As most things are complicated. But it doesn't have to hurt."

It's a boundary line, the way he blinks, remembering why you're here together, why he gets to touch you in intimate ways, why he gets to pay for clothes, why you spend this time with him. A jolt. A shock.

You don't press and he doesn't retreat. The line exists not just to remind, but to stabilise any projections. Any dangerous tones.

You simply smile, nodding at the time. "Dinner date, babycakes. We can't be late for reservations."

"We can be late for a few minutes," he says, remembering echoes of how Alys sometimes got late. It isn't really her fault; there are days when she's too busy at the law firm, too busy with a meeting or two, or still finishing up her makeup because she doesn't like going to dinner in her work clothes.

"Sure, but we're here together and I know how much you hate being late." You snort.

"I don't hate it."

"Sure, but you got that eye twitch you do when you're annoyed," you tease, tapping your own eye before you wink at him and skip away.

For the past few days since the bar incident, by your suggestion, you and Aemond had pour out the intricacies of how Aemond and Alys' relationship worked whilst hiding your true intention of making him see its faults and corners, and at the same time, continue on with the charade of dating him.

It's been a packed week or so, going to your shifts at the bar, meeting with Cregan once and a while (boy had been busy, and he found the entire thing with Aemond incredibly hilarious).

You answered no question mark in regards on who the hand was, only sent a winky face or a kiss blowing emoji. You continue to post minute representations of your no-longer-single status in brief intervals, making sure that you never name him. You never publicly give him a recognisable body.

But for those that knew, knew.

It really wasn't that hard. There were only so much pale, toned hands, so much body builds you can hide with your hand covering his general face that you can hide without people making smart guesses. There wasn't a lot of pale, toned people around you after all.

But in your refusal to name him, the question continues, and so does Alys silent observation of every post. The only story she had liked had been the very first one.

You often wonder what she thinks, before your mind is devoured once again with everything else.

To be fair, as often as you had both been seeing each other lately— and it has been the most often you have been seeing of him — there were still things outside of Aemond and Helaena plans. And Aemond still had UNI to focus on.

"You know, I often forget you're still in university," you say now, comfortably warm in Aemond's car. All fresh leather seat and crisp new car smell despite knowing that Aemond's had this unit now for at least a year. He maybe rich, but he knew what he liked and took care of them.

He shoots you a quizzical look before looking back at the road. The city is bathed in a gorgeous stream of oranges and pinks, tie-dying glass buildings and bustle of city roads. When you look at him, you smile softly at how pretty the light hits him.

"Why is that? Do I look that young?"

"Your vibe is so old man on a nine to three, cigar breaks by four, and whiskey sours by seven pm."

He makes a disgruntled sound at the back of his throat. You laugh. "I would like to think it's my altruistic classicism. A timeless endeavour."

"Sure, old man," you tease then sigh. "Reality is, I'm so much older than you. I'm hanging out with a child. On my free day. Is this what it means to reach low status?"

"I am not a child." His reply is sharp, cutting, almost offended.

"You're in college."

"And of legal age? You're only four years older."

"Oh, right."

"What?"

You smirk at his dark look. "You like 'em way older."

His face, much like his gaze, heats up. You're imaging it when the ride turns red, the car slows to a stop, and he is looking at your lips. Surely it was, because you got transfixed with the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips. A slow, tantalising movement.

It feels like an eternity stretched within three seconds. The light turns green and both of you turn away.

Well, there's been that. A few times. But it doesn't mean anything. Aemond is in that transition of trying to rid himself of bad habits, of being freshly single once again, and you know he and Alys get in on frequently. This had been a conversation a few days back, on a couch, smell of grease and pizza around the room while Murder She Wrote played in the background.

"Wait, wait, wait." You sat up, folding your legs underneath your butt, and giving Aemond your full attention with a little 'o' in your mouth.

"Wait!" Helaena calls playfully from her sway to the bathroom. "Imma pee!"

"Take care, my beloved!" you call back, before turning to Aemond with a big, Cheshire grin.

"Can we not dwell on it?" He's flustered but is trying not to show it, looking back to the TV as if he understood why there's a body on the plane.

But wine has been had, spilled and shared, and it's enough for you to grab that fluster and the topic, and smirked.

"No, no, we will talk about it. We shall! We must! Do you mean to tell me that by the end of it, most of the time, you two were just boning? Is Aemy, one of my favourite people in the world, a Valyrian Sex God?? Oh my god??"

"I am not a Valyrian Sex God."

"Okay, girly pop, please." You raised a hand in a 'talk to the hand' motion and he was smiling at you, entranced and frustrated. "Women talk, Aemy!"

There was a flush and Helaena came back. Wine did things to Helaena, and she was stumbling and giggling as she flopped behind you, turning around and encasing you in a koala hug.

"Women talk, baby bro." Helaena nodded sagely. "Even I try not to listen, they talk, alas."

"And Alys has said those hips—"  You pointed a j'accuse finger at his hips, then his mouth. "—and that tongue has done things that can make the Maiden blush."

Helaena groaned behind you're back, a slew of 'ew's escaping her mouth. And you were still being playful, teasing, but Aemond was looking at you, though scarlet, with a deepened expression.

And at that moment, both of you were thinking the same thing.

His chin brushing your thighs, your sighs like music to his ears, and his tongue making you scream.

Warmth pooled, twin expressions share a gaze. Hunger, desire, shame.

The connection was destroyed when Helaena abruptly jolted and fell down the carpet. Because she was holding onto you, you got pulled with her.

"Are you okay??" Aemond asked.

Hel gasped. "I thought I saw Bobby. I think I squished Bobby."

You shook your head. "You didn't. Bobby is spry. Bobby knows to move away."

Aemond's confused face peered down at both of you. "Who's Bobby?"

"The local spider that lives here."

"Of course." And he smiled.

You smiled back.

Helaena giggled beside you but when you ask her, she only shook her head.

And the silence that lulls in the car is like both of you reaching the very same memory and having to sit through the stifle of that drunken interaction about his sex life. He coughs, you let out a breathy giggle.

"I should admit something," he says, parking the car in front of the restaurant. Dusk is settling, sunset in bright red and orange turning to a cool blue and pretty lavender— and when you turn to him after getting out of the car, coddling your jacket close to your body, he looks nervy. Apologetic, almost.

"What? What'd you do?"

He bites his bottom lip. "I know something about this restaurant."

"I would assume. You chose it." Your eyes narrow, giving the black-out floor to ceiling windows a look. The Painted Table is lit up in a scrawled font on top of it.

You step inside, not bothering to turn to his call of your name, and is submerged by the restaurant's vibe. It's a darkened place with meaningful lighting but a casual air, a bar on the side, and an upbeat jazzy music dancing in the air — it looks good. The place smelled delicious.

Nothing about it sparked familiarity to you, but the anticipation from that look of guilt on his face brought you to a high-strung, so when he calls your name again, just behind you, you turn.

"Is this where you had your first date with Alys?"

He shakes his head. "No. No, but—"

"Aemond?"

The voice is familiar, and you don't stop enough to think before you're turning to the low, clear voice that's just a hint of husky, and Alys' green eyes go wide at your appearance.

She's dressed nice, dressed to go out in a black dress dipping low and fabric tangled around her body to show off her curves. Her inky hair was swept to one side and her mouth was bloodred.

Alys Rivers, owner of Aemond's firsts. The woman he seemingly can't let go off.

You smile. It feels fake. "Oh. Hi Alys."

Her shock staves off into a genuine smile that makes you guilty. "Hi, my love. I see you two are together. Always attached at the hip. Dinner?"

Before you nod— or maybe strangle Aemond — he comes forward, taking your hand in the process and lacing it. He's looking at her as if he's setting a challenge when Alys' eyes fall on your intertwined hands.

"Yes," he says. "We are."

"Well... that's good. This place is great. I—" Someone calls her name, she turns back. You shoot Aemond a withering glare you hope conveys how much you're going to beat his ass after this. She turns back, smiling still. There's a pinch between her eyes but it's gone by the third blink. "Well, I have to go. I'll see you both soon, okay?" She turns to you, stepping forward, not minding the Targaryen beside you. "Especially you. We haven't hung out in a while."

"That's true, I've missed you, you crazy witch." And she laughs and you smile, because you genuinely consider Alys to be one of your friends. Not maybe as deeply as Helaena's, or as close, but Alys was an amazing person and you enjoy her company.

Plus, right now the one you're angry about it solely the man holding your hand.

Alys turns to Aemond, and he stiffens. Between them is a complicated look. So many things unsaid, before her smirk softens. "It's nice to see you too, Aemond."

And she turns away, walking back to her table, to her date, when you tug him with you to the bar. As you order a dry martini, he speaks. Calm and soft.

"You're mad at me."

"You knew she was going to be here." You turn to him, arching an eyebrow, hating the way your chest pangs. "You stalked her and brought us here because you wanted to use me."

He shifts, face crumples at the word 'use' and calls your name in a plead. "It's not like that."

You snort, taking a sip of your drink when it arrives. "Don't lie."

"Okay. Yes, I did. I... I made an impulsive decision because I wanted to see how she could go on a date as if we were nothing." Bitterness cripples his words, the smirk on his lips is ironic and darkened in hurt. Your heart hurts for him, but you can't give him a pass just like that. He hurt you too.

"You could've told me."

He raises an eyebrow. "You would be okay with this?"

Your own smile is ironic and darkened by hurt. "You're already using me, Aemy. That was the deal I agreed, for Hel. It would at least lick the wound to have been in the know, and not, you know, got shot in the face with it."

At the first part of your tirade, he looked like he wanted to argue with the using part, but the realisation weighs him because it is true. To him, he is using you. And it's a cheap shot on your part because you were also doing this for him, out of your own free will.

You sigh when he turns away, guilt dipping low.

"You're such a dumbass."

He hums in agreement.

You're aware of a gaze from the tables, somewhere in the ocean of jazz music and chatter, Alys is looking, and you kinda wanna make this good for him. You were already here after all.

Your hand reaches his jaw, sliding across his neck until you reach his nape and fingers tangle with the baby hairs there. His hair had been wrapped into a bun. Sleek and fluffy.

He turns to you, to your touch, in shock. "What are you—"

"Try not to look so surprised," you whisper, stepping close to him until your noses are bumping. "We're supposed to be dating."

And then you slant your mouth against his.

TAGGED: @fan-goddess @snh96 @valeskafics @opheliaas-stuff @tempo-rary-fix @fantasticpeaceharmony @diannnnsss @iamavailablesstuff @spinachtz @at-a-rax-ia @bespinnn @tsujifreya @moonlightfoxx @kemillyfreitas @joyouart @bananzaa @honey-on-mars @alexa4040 @cinnamonbambii @wintrr13 @wxb-slingrr @astroswift @queenofshinigamis @helaenaluvr @kaetastic @jxdegodfrey @laniii-on-your-left @watercolorskyy @snowprincesa1 @gemini-mama

[sugarsnappeases]

i need to know what u think about jily

hi....... the only way that jily interests me is A) when they try so so hard to make things work for years but ultimately decide they need to go their separate ways or B) when one or both of them dies, like in canon but also esp. when lily kills james and maybe harry too <33

in this essay, i will discuss option A but if you want there is MUCH to discuss for option B........

for me. jily is like. james who is in love with the idealised version of lily that he created when he was like eleven and decided that she was going to be the love of his life and they were going to have their happily ever after forever and ever amen. the lily he loves is one he made up over years of pining and one that ultimately does not exist. lily, similarly, isn't so much in love with james but with what he represents and what that means for her. he's what everyone expects, a good, well-off man who can provide and care for her and who has been loudly declaring his love for her for years. he's something solid and the inevitable next step in her life and their relationship is a kind of wartime whirlwind spurred on by the feeling that maybe they're running out of time (they are) and by the fact that as far as everyone is concerned, they're perfect for each other.

i think a lot about them during those long months in hiding, just them and baby harry and the realisation that maybe they don't actually know each other all that well or have anything to say to each other or all that much in common. they've never really spent a lot of time one-on-one before. i imagine those months as very quiet and very lonely and filled with a lot of revelations about their relationship that they tell themselves they'll deal w when the war is over. obvs in canon that never happens.

in a non-canon context, i think they're both incredibly stubborn, and convinced that they're right for each other and this is the life they want, and, without the isolation that arose from their specific war-time circumstances, it would take them a long time to realise that their marriage is built on the foundation of fundamentally failing to understand and see each other for who they are. and even when they do realise this, it takes a long time for either of them to do anything about it bc, like i said, stubborn, but also. terrified of what it means if the one thing that's always felt certain and inevitable, is falling to pieces around them. they're scared of those uncharted waters, and also a little embarrassed, and also entirely horrified at what's become of them. they're clinging to the broken pieces of the façade that was their relationship.

i think this is also a very internal thing, in terms of like each of them internally, but also mainly in terms of the breakdown of their marriage mostly taking place behind closed doors, in their house, where it's just the two of them (and baby harry) and there's no one to perform in front of. and they argue and they cry and they try to hold things together and eventually they both come to the realisation that they can't do it anymore, no matter how scary and unknown whatever comes next is, and quietly go through the process of a divorce. their relationship begins with bright swirling colours and loud glittering celebration and a kind of manufactured joy and ends with a messy kind of honesty, and closure even if i kinda think they'll never fully understand each other, and horror & guilt & anger & fear about the time wasted and the times to come...... so.........

[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

CHARLES XAVIER IS HOT? -WADE

Logan howlett x reader

-

DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE SPOILERS!!! AND DAYS OF FUTURE PAST BUT I CAN ONLY HOPE EVERYONE HAS SEEN THAT.

-

Warnings: erm idk. Kinda a short one. All will make sense soon. God help me. Major Canon divergence

-

When i first joined the x-mansion as a student, Charles Xavier was old. Though I had heard from plenty of people who knew him as a young adult that he was rather good looking.

I refused to think of my old and wrinkly professor in that way. Mostly because he'd see it and be absolutely horrified I assume.

-

"Logan, I don't think there's anyone here," I stated as he approached the mansion.

Covered in vines and surrounded by rotting timber and splintering trees, the x mansion had Definitely seen better days.

"It's not looking likely that's For sure" he replied.

"Do you guys think Happy Wheels will be here? God I wanna see that old fucker"

Wade was trying to be funny, but Logan and I just glared at him and kept walking. The door to the mansion was rotting and chipping away.

"I think we're in the past" I said, guessing mostly.

Logan pushed open the door gently, and inside stood one man. He was raggedy and bearded.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the stranger.

"My name is Charles Xavier," he stated, "the real question is who are you? All of you"

"Ho-ly fuck! Charles Xavier is hot?" Wade Gasped loudly with his hands to his mouth

"Was" Logan corrected

"I don't knooooow. I'd let old rolly hit it too"

Me and logan both made disgusted noises.

-

🧠

When Xavier first learnt, I could also use telepathy. It was when I tried to kill Jean. He stopped me and told me to find him in the office.

He tried to help me control it and tried to help me let it get under control so that I wouldn't go insane. But I did. I went crazy, and I would scream and cry and yell and rattle the walls.

And then, one day, without any warning.

It stopped.

I never rattled another wall again

-

"So, you're all from the future?" Charles furrowed his eyebrows.

"More or less, yeah, we're not supposed to be here" Logan spoke.

Well, we have been here before technically. We're just a bit out of time. I scratched my neck awkwardly.

"We didn't necessarily come here to find you. We just have to get back home" I said to charles

Wade's mouth was still agape. "Jesus, you are gorgeous, aren't you?" He was close and personal with Charles, he might as well have been inside his skin.

"Jesus man, have you ever heard of personal space or decency?" Charles scoffed and stood up, walking away from wades perverse self.

"And turn those fucking thoughts off" Charles groaned and pointed to Wade.

"Listen. I know how crazy we are from the future sounds. But to make things worse, you're also a professor in the future, and you teach" I pointed to me and Logan "us"

"I can't help you guys, i don't know what to do" Charles shrugged.

-

Why do you stick by him?

You love him, don't you?

-

🧠

By far, my weirdest interaction in the TVA was when i met a variant of Xavier, and he seemed to know me quite well. He could name my favourite colour, food, even my favourite candle and my favourite animal.

Upon closer inspection, i saw a ring on his finger. Sparkling gold with a small blue gem. I didn't bother to ask what the blue meant, I only knew that my ring on my finger was the same.

It became clear then that this was a Xavier variant I may have married in a way distant universe.

I called for the immediate expulsion of the variant instantly after.

-

Don't let him go

Do it I dare you

You love him

You love him

You love him

He's not yours

You can't do this

Don't do this

Don't do it

It's not right

-

"Charles?" I said.

It was nighttime. We were forced to take shelter in the mansion as we knew we had nowhere else to go.

"Yes?" The bearded man turned to me

"Can you do me a favor?"

-

[brights-place]

Tendou giving you a Sweet Treat !!

Pairings: Tendou X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Tendou being stupidly cute

A/N: Okay but Tendou in the future is a chocolatier and I love him for that! OML Imma smooch him ε(´｡•᎑•`)っ 💕

- Tendou was always cheerful and loud, though a bit sardonic at times so He enjoys teasing you happily whenever so he couldn’t help but grin like an idiot whenever he see’s you.

- Always lazily wrapping an arm over your shoulder or waist as he chirped and spoke to you happily

- Tendou was never really interested in baking but when you made him so sweets on your last date he couldn't help but want to return the favour into baking some cupcakes for you

- So when he plopped down a box with a cute deisgn and wrapped with some pink cutesy design

- “Afternoon my loveeee! I brought you something” Tendou cheered with his usual sleepy expression with a stupid looking smile that you adored so much

- “what did you do Satori?” You snickered looking to the pink wrapped lunchbox as he slid it towards you stealing a Seat and sitting down infront of your desk holding his head in his hands

- Tendou smiled eyes looking to the box then back up to you as you smiled your hands pinching the tied knot of the cute wrap undoing it as you asked Tendou if he did something to the lunchbox as he shrugged

- “I swear Satori if it’s something horrifying I’m gonna jump you” you said as Tendou snickered “You can try”

- You couldn’t help but hesitate as he spoke “Aw come on! It’s not bad just open it… or maybe it is! Who knows” Tendou teased gesturing you to open the lunchbox as you sighed lifting open the box before pausing staring down at the cupcakes

- The cupcake looked amazing as you gaped looking up to Tendou and back to the cupcake then back up to him as he piped a brow

- The icing is a swirl of soft pink and pure white, creating a dance of soft colours perched atop is a tiny heart decoration The cupcake was wrapped in a pale pink wrapper adorned with an array of tiny hearts giving it a truly charming appearance

- “Tendou what the fuck…” Tendou paused “last names now? Do you not like it..?” You shook your head “No no it’s not that it’s just have you baked before this looks so good!” Tendou shrugged “I baked with my mum once or twice” you paused before picking up the cupcake eyeing it before raising it to your lips

- Your lips slight opened taking a bite of the cupcake as you froze at the mouthwatering taste the velvet vanilla sponge infused with a dreamy combination of smooth strawberry and rich chocolate tasted delicious.

- you couldn’t help but take another bite after another before looking to Tendou who smiled sweetly “Was it good?” “It was magnificent !! So not fair!” you pecked his cheeks as he froze before a red hue on his cheeks matched his hair

- “Tendou You should bake more.. it’s so good!” You said eyes sparkling as Tendou paused “Hmm.. maybe” he said looking away then back when he heard you complain while you were eating another cupcake “You really should! And you should also make me some more sweets if you continue to bake this stuff then I would stop giving you my burnt ass baking failures”

- Tendou laughed “but I love your burnt failures!” “Shuddap Satori!” You said annoyed as Tendou smiled at you with a soft smile

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact