Tumgik
#archive number
neekosarchive · 6 months
Text
hello hi,
to the self-proclaimed "cool kid." god, who gave you the audacity to parade around like some sort of pseudo-celebrity? newsflash: you're not fucking cool, you're just a sad imitation of what coolness might resemble if it were injected with a hefty dose of incompetence and delusion. allow me to extend my sincerest congratulations on your remarkable achievement: transforming what could have been a tolerable academic environment into a cesspool of annoyance and incompetence. bravo
let me start by saying that the mere sight of you makes my skin crawl and id sooner spend eternity in a pit of vipers than exchange even a passing glance with your sorry excuse for a human being.
the collective IQ of your group barely surpasses that of a garden slug, yet you prance around like you're the kings and queens of the goddamn universe. well! newsflash number two: you're not fucking funny, you're not fucking clever, and you're certainly not fucking welcome in any decent society. (also nobody finds you or your circle amusing. im pretty sure everyone shares my sentiment)
oh and speaking of society, do you even know what personal hygiene is? bc it seems like you've made a conscious decision to forgo it entirely. it's like you've never heard of soap and water in your entire existence. ha ha ha oh my fucking GOD do us all a favor and take a shower once in a while, would you?
also im still trying to figure out how you managed to worm your way into this school in the first place. did you bribe someone? blackmail the admissions committee? bc ur name certainly wasn't on the list of deserving candidates, that's for sure.
here's a friendly piece of advice: if you want to fail, do it on your own time. don't drag the rest of us down with you. your demise is a solo act, and i have front row seats reserved for the spectacle
don't push me further because i can hold a grudge longer than you can pretend to be fucking cool
ungraciously,
niks
9 notes · View notes
hopeinthebox · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
bts + reductress headlines pt.14
3K notes · View notes
k8mosss · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
when is it my turn.
3K notes · View notes
teafromthemicrowave · 6 months
Text
Day 3 of @jonmartinweek ⭐️
Nightmares // Haircare
Tumblr media
Does dying hair count as haircare? Please, I JUST WANTED TO DRAW PURPLE HAIR MARTIN
2K notes · View notes
ihatebrainstorm · 3 months
Note
requesting a prowl covered in blood ^^
Tumblr media
he's lost in the sauce (literally) :'(
985 notes · View notes
molonara · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
Ok everyone stop! We’re right where we need to be!
880 notes · View notes
y3llow-hoodie · 9 months
Text
More Vast!Jon head cannons for your enjoyment :)
I'll post more in a while since this week I'm kinda busy ;(
Tumblr media
Vast!Jon AU _ 1-2-3-4-5-6-X
2K notes · View notes
merthosus · 1 month
Text
Don't kiss the cast members
Tumblr media
Summary: You never had a problem with any of the cast members of the umbrella academy, except Aidan. You two couldn't stand each other since the first time you met. You were always good at ignoring him but the directors crashed the plan, by making you the love interest of the character Five Hargreeves. But as the day came you needed to train with him everything changed.
Here a sexy poster from Five I fell in love with! With every purchase you automatically support me :) https://amzn.to/3yGK6Fm
"This.. this wasn't wrote in the script"
Chicago, 9:20 am, you were walking outside the set with a coffee in your hands. It was cold, so the warmth of the cup made your heart flutter with happiness. It was always the smallest things that made you feel pride. You looked down at your chamber red nails while walking through the security guards. You didn't need to show them your ID; they knew you. After two years of being in the show, everyone knew everyone.
You loved attending the set, being surrounded by the most varied people, but today was different. Your stomach hurt, and your hands were slightly shaking. Knowing why your body reacted like that was easy. But your determination and the wish to earn money had driven you to attend the set today. You needed to remind yourself that this was a big part of your job... doing things you didn't want to do. You needed to swallow the pill, and you should be good to go.
Your thoughts went crazy as you said hello to the makeup artist. She was tugging at you here and there, putting little needles in the top you wore. You had been an actor for a few years now, so kissing in front of a camera was not that big of a deal for you, but kissing someone you didn't like was a little bit challenging.
The story of your character was pretty simple—not being that much in the limelight, operating in the shadows of the show. She was the daughter of the Handler, stalking Number Five and looking out for him as the Handler instructed her. The depth of the character was very interesting, so playing her was really an honor, especially because it was the biggest show you had ever been allowed to be on.
"You are ready, you like it?" she asked me. I nodded and smiled. "Thank you, this is very good work, as always," I told her. This was one of your rules: to appreciate the work people do for you, always trying to be nice to everyone. As you stepped out of the container, you saw Aidan walking by. He saw you too and headed in your direction. "Hi, you ready for the rehearsal?" he asked you. To be honest, this was the only thing you liked about him—he was always professional.
"Course, where you want to rehearse?" you asked him. He told you to follow him to Set 36. You knew the set from previous film scenes. Watching the others play was also a pretty big part of your job. You didn't need to, but you liked watching them, learning from their abilities. Robert Sheehan was one of the actors you looked up to; how he acted out his character was astonishing.
As you both walked to the empty set, neither of you even tried to make small talk. Your steps were loud as you walked with him, you read the script again and tried to memorize every little word. The set was very detailed; it was Five's room. You sat down on his bed and continued to read. "You ready?" he asked me. You nodded, laid the script aside, and positioned yourself better on the bed. The scene you needed to play was simple. You get into an argument, and then you kiss him. His part was to reject you and then walk out of the room. That's it—very simple. "Alright," you said while shaking your arms to prepare.
"Go on," you said, and Aidan got into his role. "STOP IT! Stop stalking me, you crazy little shit!" he screamed and walked around the room until he came to a halt at his desk. "I... I am not stalking you!" you yelled. He leaned himself onto the desk behind him. "I saw you following me several times!" he said angrily. Just now, you noticed how his jawline was nearly perfectly shaped—he could cut papers with that thing. You didn't answer him and just stared him down. Suddenly, he jumped away from the table and walked right in front of you.
He looked down at you. This was the moment. "I just... I can't explain," you said your last line. You could feel your heart pounding, like it demanded to get out of your torso. Your hands were shaking as if you had just drunk five espressos and two Red Bulls. "Explain, or I don't want to see you ever again," he whispered. You got up from the bed and stood before him. You felt like it was the first time you ever auditioned. You were as scared of this day as you were then. Without thinking and pushing your anxiety away, you grabbed his face and smashed your lips onto his.
Although you hated him with every muscle in your body, your whole stomach filled with butterflies as your lips landed on his. He tasted bittersweet, like he had just drunk coffee, and a little bit of woodsy cologne made him taste like that too. You waited for him to push you away, like it was written in the script. He was supposed to push you back onto the bed and leave, so you prepared for the fall. But he didn't.
He began to let his puffy lips roam over yours. It felt like you were flying straight to heaven. As you began to stroke his cheek with your thumb, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You let your hand travel around his neck, pushing your fingers into his dark hair. As your fingernails scratched his scalp, he opened his mouth wider, and you let your tongue sneak into his mouth. His lips felt like cushions pressing against yours.
You gasped as he let his hand fall, landing on your butt. But as soon as his lips connected with yours again, you couldn't think anymore. His other hand continued to travel up and down your waist, exploring every inch. He pushed your abdomen further into his, causing your head to tilt back slightly. He noticed and grabbed your neck harshly, pushing your head forward as he continued to let his tongue dance in your mouth, tasting you like ice cream.
You felt every last bit of oxygen leave your body, so you pushed your head away. The sudden feeling of leaving his lips made your whole body shudder with coldness. "This... this wasn't written in the script," you said, stuttering. "Then, unfortunately, we have to do this again," he said with a wide grin on his face. "Asshole."
Thank you for reading my love :) Here leading you to part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/merthosus/759274024052375552/dont-kiss-the-cast-members-summary-you-never?source=share
545 notes · View notes
eeveeights · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
omg mag 153 reference
1K notes · View notes
oscarpiastriwdc · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oscar P2 in 2013 -> 2024
304 notes · View notes
dcartcorner · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i know these have probably been done before, but wanted to do them anyway
543 notes · View notes
neekosarchive · 6 months
Text
hi again,
i was just reminiscing about last year when an 8th grader (now 9th) and their friends were scared shitless by me just bc i dropped a "kys" joke - i mean, come on it wasn't even aimed at them directly... sort of 💀 but they wouldn't have even caught wind of it if this little fuck of a junior of mine hadn't decided to stir the fucking pot (not exactly snitching, but close enough.) next thing i know my "kys" message, complete with my facebook pfp and allat, becomes a reaction image plastered all over our school's freedom wall page. my honest reaction? what the actual fuck.
i had friends (yes i do have friends thank you very much 💀💀) defending me, explaining that it's just our sense of humor and that i didn't mean it seriously. and there i was, stuck on my phone,torn between laughing and crying
like for an entire week, the underclassmen were too fuckin terrified to even make eye contact with me. it was insane. still can't believe that shit happened 😭
first time i got cancelled fr
yours truly,
niko
5 notes · View notes
k8mosss · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
427 notes · View notes
conservethis · 1 month
Text
In case you are thinking about going to school and becoming a conservator for a library with a large and convoluted mix of collections, know this:
Your pockets and desk will be FULL of these kinds of little notes that you will only kinda sorta remember their purpose when you find them days later.
Tumblr media
And your camera roll on your phone will be littered with pictures of books and archival boxes that you know have problems that need to be investigated later.
Tumblr media
239 notes · View notes
eliebluebell · 5 months
Text
TLoG, Psychoville and Inside No.9's fandom archives
Google Drive 1: for DVD Extras of all three series, TV interviews related to the shows, audio commentaries by league members on other films, etc. Google Drive 2: Doctor Who Confidential with Mark Gatiss, Documentaries with, again, Mark, DVD extras of others projets than TLoG, Psychoville and Inside No.9, films and plays that haven't been commercialized/are not finable elsewhere, TV shows where Mark, Steve or Reece appeared, and funny little videos.
I hope you'll enjoy!
317 notes · View notes
level2janitor · 8 months
Text
Introduction to the OSR
what's an OSR? it's a game that's kinda like old-school D&D. or is old-school D&D. or is compatible with old-school D&D. an OSR game generally has some or all of the following principles:
low character power with highly lethal combat. in old-school D&D a 1st-level fighter has d8 hit points and a longsword does d8 damage, and you die at 0HP. this is not to ensure characters die all the time but to emphasize the next bullet point:
emphasis on creative problem solving. most situations cannot be solved by straightforward use of your abilities (such as charging into every situation with swords drawn, if a fighter), so the game tests lateral, outside-the-box thinking.
emphasis on diegetic progression. spells are found, not obtained automatically on level-up. you get XP by finding gold more than killing monsters. most of your cool abilities come from magic items. making alliances & hiring followers is encouraged.
focus on managing inventory, resources, risk, and time. the players are constantly faced with meaningful decisions; this is the heart of the game.
very sandbox-oriented. the focus on creative problem solving means the game must be accommodating to players taking a course of action the GM didn't plan for. use lots of random tables to generate emergent story. some elements of new simulationism.
high tactical transparency, i.e., the optimal course of action is rarely system-specific, and ideally very possible for a new player to intuit.
usually semi-compatible with old D&D, but not always. usually rules-lite, but not always.
what does the OSR mostly NOT do?
focus on character builds. these change the focus too much to be on the rules than the fiction, can create situations where stuff everyone should be able to do is an ability locked to one class, and impede tactical transparency.
resolve everything with a die roll. combat uses dice to be scary, unpredictable and most importantly not your default course of action. everything else should bring up dice rarely - dice are your plan B when your plan A fails. the best plans need no dice.
use linear storytelling or put players into a writer/GM role. linear storytelling gets in the way of the decision-making so core to the playstyle; letting players write details into the setting is mutually exclusive with them discovering it.
rules for everything. 400 pages of crunch is worse at simulating a believable world than the GM and players' shared understanding. OSR games rely constantly on GM ruling.
mostly still applies to all the above. making your system a "pure" OSR game comes second to doing what's best for your game.
System recommendations
old D&D or a retroclone
old-school D&D - or old school essentials or basic fantasy or swords & wizardry, which are old D&D's mechanics repackaged with quality-of-life tweaks (and the upside of not giving WOTC your money) - are usually the go-to when recommending someone's first OSR game. they're actually not my first pick, though!
PROS:
very complete, with more robust rules than a lot of the lighter games on this list.
100% compatibility: most OSR adventures are statted for old school essentials. converting them to other OSR systems is usually simple, but not 1-for-1.
easier to find games for. anyone interested in the OSR space knows what old school essentials is.
CONS:
jank. these games largely still have weird saves, level limits for non-humans, some still have descending AC, etc etc. it's not that bad but it is there
i hate thief skills. lots of essential dungeoneering actions are locked to the thief class as abilities, with abysmally low success chances. this is stuff i prefer being handled without a roll. thieves in this system suck and make everyone else worse at dungeon crawling by existing.
there's just lots of really cool shit in other systems i'm about to go into that you just don't get here
Knave 1e and its various hacks
this is a 7-page super-lightweight system that boils everything down to just the essentials.
rolling a character takes like 5 minutes. roll stats, roll gear, roll traits, go. done. it's great.
characters are defined entirely by stats and gear, no classes. wanna be a fighter, have high strength and carry a big sword and armor. wanna be a wizard, have high intelligence and fill your inventory with spells. item slots are elegant and pretty limited.
initiative is instant: roll d6. 1-3, monsters go first. 4-6, PCs go first. swingy, but god it is so smooth and shaves like the most boring 5 minutes off of every combat
monsters are so very elegant. old D&D gives monsters a "hit dice" rating to determine their HP, e.g. a 3HD monster rolls 3d8 for hit points. knave takes this number (HD) and uses it for attack rolls and saves (aside from exceptionally bad/good saves), so a knave statblock looks something like this.
spells are all one or two sentences long & extremely easy to remember.
7 pages is so light. i have the system basically memorized.
DOWNSIDES: there's no dungeon crawling rules (standard for meatier OSR games & something i consider essential) and no real bestiary, though the second point isn't a huge deal cause they're so easy to make. it also kinda assumes you already know how to run OSR games, so there's very little real advice or guidance.
KNAVE HACKS
knave 1e is in creative commons & comes with an editable word doc for you to publish with modifications, so there's a ton of variants (there was a spreadsheet of them somewhere, but i can't find it).
Grave is a favorite - i'm two years into a grave campaign and it's fantastic. it's a dark-souls-y version of knave with some really elegant innovations.
you have a set number of deaths before you for-reals die, as every character plays an undead as is dark souls tradition. makes it good for OSR beginners! being able to tell when you're close to your final death is really good - it lets you emotionally prepare for losing your character & raises the stakes more the more you die. (though honestly you should probably cut the number of extra deaths in half, it's super generous)
XP and gold are combined into one resource, souls. legendary creatures drop big souls you can make into magic items. this has ended up being the coolest thing in my current campaign. my players love finding powerful souls to make into magic items it's so fun
uses preset packages of stats/gear instead of knave's rolled ones, filling the role of more traditional character classes. has the wonderful side effect of not making you get stuck with low stats cause you rolled bad one time.
you have stamina equal to your empty item slots. you spend stamina on spells if you're a caster, or free maneuvers (on top of your attack at no action cost) if you're not. it's super elegant.
there's 3 classes of spells: wizardry for intelligence, holy magic for wisdom, and witch stuff for charisma. nice and intuitive.
there's a page of 50 magic items each a couple sentences long. this PDF is worth it just for the magic items.
DOWNSIDE: see the downsides for knave 1e. all still apply.
i enjoyed grave so much i made a variant of it with the dark souls bits removed (and some dungeon crawl rules added!) to use for my standard fantasy campaigns.
Knave 2e
sadly knave 2e is not purchasable yet (i backed it on kickstarter so i have access, though). but when it comes out i highly recommend it.
much larger and denser than knave 1e. it finally has dungeon crawling rules, it has GM and player guidance, everything is refined and the layout is so so nice and readable.
combat is a bit more interesting than 1e. you can break your weapon against an enemy to deal max damage. you get a free maneuver on high attack rolls.
there's rules for stuff like alchemy, warfare, building a base. it all kicks ass.
there are so many goddamn tables. i rifle through it anytime i need inspiration.
DOWNSIDES: some of the new rules are a little untested & wonky. introducing randomness into how often your rations spoil or your lights go out can cause issues.
Mausritter
you play tiny little mice! in a world full of big dangerous things that want to eat mice. cat = dragon. you get it. what more could you want
the mouse thing is just super intuitive. you get the dynamic between you and the big scary lethal world. fantastic OSR game to introduce kids
nice and robust ruleset; nothing feels missing
tons of super nice GM stuff! faction rules, tools for rolling up hexcrawls and dungeons, plenty of tables
super clean readable layout. font isn't too small to avoid being intimidating. guidance is really nice and clear.
combat is autohit. super fast & lethal.
100% free
look mausritter is just. good. i wanna run it so bad someday
Worlds Without Number
sort of a middle ground between OSR stuff and 5e. paid version here free version here
lots of classes, at least in the paid version. the free version comes with just the warrior, expert and mage. there's feats and more of a focus on builds than most OSR games. if you like more mechanical build variety than a typical OSR game, this is a great game for you!
extremely good multiclassing. y'know how in most games if you just mash together two classes you think are cool you'll end up with a total mess? not here! every combo is viable and works fine! easily the best multiclassing of any game i've touched
an absurd amount of GM stuff and tables. easily more than any of the other stuff i've praised for also having them. but personally i haven't dug into them as much, so i can't really comment on them
skills the way modern D&D has them. you roll dice and try to beat a target number. i don't tend to like rolled skills, but most people do, so if that's your thing WWN has them
DOWNSIDES
the layout is terrible. everything is a huge wall of text with very little use of bold text or bullet points to draw attention to the important bits. the table of contents has like 15 things in it for a 400-page book! i couldn't find any of the paid-version-exclusive classes for like a month after i bought it! looking up rules is a nightmare.
the way the default setting handles "evil races" is like an exaggerated parody of all the problematic aspects of how D&D handles it. like, it wants so bad for you to have an excuse to genocide sentient free-willed people. but at least the default setting is easy to chuck in the trash
Dungeon Crawl Classics
the goal of this system is to take all of the crazy gonzo moments people remember playing old-school D&D in their childhood and turn all of that up to 11 while cutting the stuff that doesn't add to that. i think a lot of its innovations have ended up kind of standard in newer OSR stuff (like fighters getting maneuvers with their attacks), but it still has more to offer.
the funnel: you start the game with four randomly rolled dipshit peasants that you then throw into a meatgrinder to get horribly killed. you pick one of the survivors to be your 1st-level character.
maneuvers: fighters roll an extra die with each attack that gets bigger as you level. if it's a 3 or higher, you get to do a cool thing on top of your attack. pretty standard for OSR games, but this game popularized it!
crit tables: fighters also get more crits and nastier crits as they level. every crit, you roll on the crit table. maybe you chop off a dude's arm. maybe you just knock them over. maybe you shatter their shield. it's very cool
spell tables: i don't really like roll-to-cast mechanics, generally. but DCC goes so all-in on roll-to-cast that it still looks fun as hell to watch. you cast a fireball and maybe it goes how you want. or maybe you explode, or you nuke everything in a half-mile radius, or from now on you permanently ignite flammable materials you touch, or whatever. casters just have to put up with turning into a weird mutated mess across a campaign
there's no dungeon crawl rules, no encumbrance - this game is all about the big over-the-top wacky shit, and is not really interested in the more down-to-earth number crunching. it's more in the you-die-hilariously-all-the-time area of OSR than the you-avoid-death-through-clever-play area. not really my thing but the system knows exactly what it wants to be and i respect it
iron halberd
this one is mine! as the author i'm not qualified to tell you what isn't good about my system, so just assume it's worse than i make it sound, but here's a bunch of the selling points
semi-random character creation where you flip back and forth between rolling dice and getting your own input. roll stats, pick ancestry. pick starting gear kit, roll different dice based on which kit you picked. etc etc. stats are random but all equally viable (no rolling incredibly low or high stats). every time i run this game the character creation is a hit. seriously go roll up a character it'll sell you on the whole thing
you start out a lot stronger than a standard OSR character but grow way more slowly. i don't like 4th-level characters being 4 times as strong as 1st-level ones; HP never gets that high. emphasis is more on diegetic progression instead.
way too many subsystems for alchemy, crafting, strongholds, warfare, renown, rituals, likes 9 pages of magic items, a whole subsystem for becoming a cleric mid-campaign. i couldn't help myself i love this shit
in my current campaign we had a player permanently sacrifice some max HP to become a necromancer after deliberating on whether that's a good idea for like thirty seconds, which instantly made me think my necromancy system is a success
also free
Adventure recommendations
(in rough order of size)
Moonhill Garden (by Emiel Boven): look at this. look at it! this is like the best template for a little dungeon in an OSR game. all of the little factions are tied together. this would be a great oneshot to introduce people to an OSR system with.
A gathering of blades (by Ben Milton): a system-neutral, one-page sandbox. i ran this for an iron halberd game and it went super well. lasted like 7 sessions. highly recommend.
The Waking of Willowby Hall (by Ben Milton): a single dungeon with a million things going on. it's super chaotic with half a dozen different factions crashing into each other and a big angry goose. highly recommend, especially for kids
The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford (by Chance Dudinack): small sandbox with a fun fairytale vibe and a very fleshed-out little town. and a big nasty dragon.
Evils of Illmire (by Zack Wolf): this is a very dense, entire campaign's worth of hexcrawl in a very compact package for like $5. it doesn't do anything particularly new, but the value-for-money is absurd and it's a really good template for how to do a sandbox if you're used to 5e adventures
Ask me anything!
if anything here is unclear or intrigues you, send me asks! i love helping people get into OSR games. i'll link frequently asked questions here if i get any.
433 notes · View notes