#aranea monologue

[baroquepopcorn]

Leprechaun Romance, a thoroughly meandering headcanon/evidential analysis of speculative webcomic xenoromantics

As one bound to the aspect of light, I have a tendency to seek forbidden knowledge. Yes, this information has been cruelly hidden from us for too long. However through a combination of inference, thematic analysis, and vague in-comic information I have put together something. So sit back and allow me to:

Display my leprechaun romance headcanon!

Okay, I know, it was a stupid joke making fun of homestuck's worldbuilding and info-dump exposition, and that it was based on lucky charms, and Hussie himself probably hasn't even come up with an answer, but I Don't Care. This still seems like something worth examination. I’ve found that some of it just fits so well that it makes me think there's more to this than meets the eye. So allow me to be your exposition fairy and lecture you at length.

first of all the easy part:

Hearts <3 : confirmed to be equivalent to human love/matespritship. Maybe instead of admiration or pity, it's based on a mutual sense of humor, pleasant surprises, and inside jokes. Activities could also consist of friendly card games or comedic exchanges.

Diamonds <> : having the same diamond shape it is most likely equivalent to troll moiralligence, a romance centered around two platonic soulmates with the social purpose of balancing eachother out and preventing one of them from going off the rails. Maybe with leprechauns, diamonds have the social purpose of preventing people from going too far with pranks and getting too full of themselves. Maybe they use japes, jokes, and chicanery to calm eachother down, or minor pranks to dissuade them. It is right at the center of the chart, suggesting a strong association with moderation and neutrality.

Now for the hard part:

I feel like we can actually infer a lot of the deeper meanings of the charms via their shape. Think about it. Kismessisitude's symbol, the spade, is an inverted heart. Both it, and auspisticism have those "thorns" at the bottom, maybe indicating negative emotions, the fact that it is an inversion of another romance type, or acting like those lines on the bottom of 6s and 9s so you know which way is right side up. The Auspisticism symbol is the same as the Kissmessisitude symbol, except there is a third node (third party) interfering and splitting it apart. This concept of shape theory could be invaluable in the interpretation of certain charms

Balloons O< :

Now in the "inaugural death of Mr. Seven" paradox space comic (which while one may say the paradox space comics are of dubious canonicity, this particular one was written by Hussie himself so the world mechanics and lore must be at least canon compliant even if these events never happened) crowbar walks into clover and itchy doing a dance (which probably has the same dirty implications that buckets do with trolls, and snakes do with cherubs):

He mentions that they're all wrong for balloons (indicating he would be open to ballooning around with them but recognizes it wouldn't work out). The balloon symbol has that blackrom thorn, it may be based on negative emotions and it looks similar to the kismessitude symbol, but it's also rounder, redder, less pointy, more --- jovial. Now my headcanon for balloons. It's like kissmessitude but with practical jokes. The two balloons are engaged in a constant prank war, egged on by feelings of annoyance, spite, revenge, schadenfreude, and humiliation, but also a subtle and mutual undercurrent of enjoyment. Where it differs from kissmessitude is it is less of a rivalry, more of a two-sided bullying situation, maybe it's a bit more patronizing, teasing, pitying. Additionally it's a lot more lighthearted, there's a certain understanding that a balloon is all in the name of fun and japes, and like with kissmessitude, you never actually want to get rid of the other person, just mess with them. As such, it may be an inherently delicate charm; when one balloon takes a prank way too far and seriously hurts the other, the relationship could "pop" and the charm would be lost. If one of the members loses interest and stops pranking back, or has an especially long losing streak, the balloon could "float away". When interpreted like this, it becomes obvious why Clover and Itchy are "all wrong for balloons". Since Clover is extremely lucky (that's his power) any prank attempted on him would either fail or backfire. He also is very good natured and probably not smart or malicious enough to pull off effective pranks. As balloons require effort and humiliation from both sides, it would be impossible to solicit him with this charm. Itchy is very irritable and snarky, he probably would take a prank way too hard and go too far with his own, so while he'd probably get quite into balloons (and would be quite a skilled prankster because of his super speed), he would be a serial balloon popper, not the kind of leprechaun you’d want to have a long-term balloon with. Crowbar, by contrast is very competent, measured, and methodical, he would definitely try and seek revenge if his stoic image was humiliated and would probably takes immense pleasure in setting up pranks and seeing the payoff, additionally, he's pretty annoyed with most of the felt (implying a mild ballonic crush) Although he is quite serious, he seems quite interested in this charm, maybe it's the only way he can really let loose and joke around. That’s not even where poor crowbar’s romantic troubles end.

Horseshoes C¦ :

We actually see this charm quite a lot in the infamous hearts, stars, horseshoes trove:

Gross! Clover! get a room!

And here, after Karkat beat him in a fight and hog-tied him.

This post:

from compulsiveAnalyst explains how the fight may have been interpreted by Clover to be a solicitation/courting dance. Thus being bested in a fight by Karkat was not a faliure of his luck, but rather some good old fashioned horseshoeing which clover was really into

We interpret this trove by seperating its components. Obviously there is an element of hearts (love), and I have a seperate theory for stars that we'll get to later, but there is also an element of domination, of power, of subjugation, of kinkiness. Caliborn just conquered a planet, Karkat beat clover's ass, and the horsehoe itself has connotations of kicking, domestication, and ownership. And let us not forget about Equius the Horse guy, who literally commands people to command him, while getting very sweaty, and died submitting to Gamzee because he was into him choking him to death. So it is my interpretation that horseshoes represents kinky masochistic stuff. What I mean by that is that a horseshoe has two distinct roles; the master and servant, the dominant and submissive, the "kicker" and the "kicked", which leads to a sort of asymmetric romance, similar to how the auspistice between two would-be pitch lovers is the only one who bears the ashen feelings of exasperation and peacekeeping, or how the two moirails take on different roles as the pacifier and the violent, the "kicked" and the "kicker" could take on seperate but interelated aspects of the horseshoe relationship. Regardless, the point is the kicked would have a thing for getting kicked and rejected by the kicker, and would actively pursue them in order to satisfy horseshoe desires. The upside-down horsehoe is also commonly a symbol of bad luck, making it the perfect opposite to the shamrock charm.

Stars <X :

Same basis as above. When we seperate love and kinky shit from the hearts stars horsehoe equation, what are we left with? Awe, devotion, admiration --- stanning. When someone is faced with a celebrity they deeply admire, they are said to be startstruck (shown in emojis and cartoons as stars in the eyes). Thus stars could represent a sort of celebrity worship of another person but as a form of romance, which again would function asymmetrically. One person in a star relationship idolizes another, puts them on a pedastal, and constantly praises them with a fervor bordering on the religious. On a deeper level, the “star” could be a figure one aspires towards, encouraging self improvement. Activities could include pranks, jokes, and gifts intended to make "the star" notice them. The star hearts horseshoe trove is then revealed to be a sort of kinky, subby, romantic relationship, one a loyal servant may feel towards his master, with the master reciprocating the emotions with displays of dominance and distant affection. It also would be a sort of fifty shades of grey situation, with the hearts providing a basis of love, the stars providing the admiration and submission, and the horseshoes providing the masochism.

Alas, we have analyzed every charm that has been mentioned in the story. Everything from here on out will need to be filled in purely by headcanon. So let's take a step back and observe that 9-square chart along with the familiar quadrant diagram

The 2 by 2 column has a specific function, dividing the quadrants based on their properties. concupscient on the left, concilliatory on the right, redrom on top, blackrom on bottom. There is a clear logic here. Thus, there must be some logic behind the way the charms are arranged as well. Well what does our 3 by 3 array look like?

An alignment chart! lawful good to chaotic evil. Using our current datapoints we can get a feel for what "lawful - chaotic" and "good - evil" actually mean. hearts is lawful good, basically what we'd expect. diamonds is true neutral, again, it's platonic --- feels about right. But what about the other ones? balloons is lawful evil, stars is chaotic good, horseshoes is chaotic neutral (which also feels about right). Along the top we have two forms of intense red rom (matespritish hearts and parasocial celeb obsession stars). At the bottom we have what seems like a form of black rom (balloons) and in the middle we have diamonds and horseshoes. Now horseshoes mixes pleasure and pain, submission, fear, and grovelling. It definitely does feel somewhere in between red and black rom, but moirallegence is considered red rom, so then, shouldn't diamonds be in the top row? Wait. Didn't Aranea specifically say that "There is no division 8etween 8lack or red, concupiscent or conciliatory." Maybe instead leprechans have a similar concept of malicious intent behind the charms (tying in with the cherub concept of benevolent/malevolent), with diamonds being understood as a charm somewhat motivated by a sense of duty and social obligation instead of pure interest in another's wellbeing, it is still based on red emotions, but the underlying function is different. Maybe leprechuans, being a less violent race, have a different social purpose for their moirallegence; preventing their fellow diamonds from destroying not through just violence, but through reckless, careless abandon. Maybe the way these species organize their relationships into charts are more of a cultural construct that obfuscates a deeper underlying universal theory of romance... We're getting off topic here. The point is, in the context of this chart, good = benevolent, evil = malevolent, and neutral = mixed intentions, perhaps purely carnal or obligative in nature. notably, this concept is distinct from the redrom/blackrom divide, as while a moirail has positive feelings towards their palemate, the underlying reason for the relationship (beyond feelings) is not "I want to bring this one up" or "I want to take this one down", but instead "I want to stop this one from killing people" The lawful to chaotic axis may by contrast represent the concept of "activity" a nebulous concept familiar to all those well-versed in classpecting, best described as the dichotomy between a passive benefit to all, vs an active benefit to one. Reciprocal, balanced hearts and balloons that seek to improve both parties and lack a certain ferocity behind them (lawful), diamonds with their two distinct roles, and a sense of obligation to protect the world from a person (neutral), and asymmetric, one-sided, and somewhat vitrolic stars and horseshoes that only one person seems to derive enjoyment from (chaotic). With this newfound context we can begin tackling moons, shamrocks, rainbows, and pots o' gold.

Moons U :

neutral good. It must be a form of benevolent romance, and as a neutral relationship on the lawful to chaotic axis, it is a mix between active and passive. Now, when we think of moons in homestuck, there is one thing that should immediately come to mind and a place where this symbol shows up very plainly:

That's right! The moons! Dreamself pajamas! And specifically prospit. Mayhaps some exotic culture has an inverted form of moons, much like how kissmesistude is the inversion of matespritship, that looks like grunkle stan's hat symbol from gravity falls and is colored derse purple. Regardless, this only seems to strengthen the active/passive divide as it is literally representative of the polarization between prospit and derse. I think our best angle to analyze this is in the context of the prospit moon, and dreams themselves. Maybe this form of romance consists of a longing ache directed to another individual, a deep abiding sense of importance and fate that one attaches to another. It could be the feeling of locking eyes with a beautiful stranger on the bus, and then running into them again and again. moonmates could be the key to the other's destiny, the intellectual obsession, the muse, the one who lives in their dreams. Now this feeling is seperated from hearts by subtle nuance. While hearts make the heart ache, and they seek to get as close to eachother as possible, passively basking in eachother's embrace, and stars are an extreme celebrity worship contingent on one party actively seeking the light of another, moons could be more like an observance that can't be cleanly divided into active/passive, the sort of awe and wonder one might feel at a beautiful night sky, but redirected to a person. And above all else, fate (The moon symbol is also seen on the just half of the godtier death clocks) Mystery and secrets could be vital to this charm as moons represent the confluence of light and void, often riddles and queries could be exchanged as a sort of intellectual probing. Indeed mind games could be central to this charm as a way of simultaneously trying to get into the other person’s head and preserving that intrigue. Moons could frequently act as eachother's creative muses. They might tend to follow cycles of waxing and waning interest and activity with the moongazers shifting between positive and negative emotions, or active and passive behaviors, but always centering around the central idea that "this person is important to my fate and I must know more about them".

Shamrocks 88 :

I had a hard time with this one. the first thing you think about when you hear shamrocks is good luck, right? But when you look at the symbol itself, what do you see? hearts facing opposite to eachother. And with what we've talked about on how romance symbols in homestuck can encode meaning, I feel this is too important to pass up. Also important to note is that Auspisticism (Another clover-based romance form) is primarily concerned with breaking apart a kismesitude. Four-leaf clovers are things you pick when you see them, and keep to yourself to bring luck. It also is a neutrally-aligned reciprocated (lawful) feeling, suggesting a passive mutal benefit. In both places we've seen it (little sebastian's heart shamrock crush and clover's heart, shamrock, pot o' gold trove with trace) it is paired with hearts. What I'm guessing it is, is a sort of mutual recognition of the other's role as a "lucky charm" (puns!), with a desire to keep them to themselves through jealously fending off suitors, and perhaps even teasing the other person to keep them from straying (thus the hearts opposed to eachother represent how shamrockmates will push off the percieved romantic advances of other people in order to preserve the shared luck they bring to eachother.) It is also directly opposed to horseshoes, and wouldn't you know, upside-down horsehoes are a symbol of bad luck. Maybe the difference is: "this person is good for me and I want to keep them by my side", and "this person is bad for me, but I'm gonna keep chasing them because I want the pain". Making the neutral band a sort of trio of lucky pleasure, balanced obligative moderation, and unlucky pain. They may also consist of playing together in games of chance, vs horseshoes playing them against each other (for kinky purposes?) and shamrocks could be the ones you enter competitions with. In the context of the story as seen above, lil sebastian may heart clover a lot, but also shamrock them, want to keep them as their "charm" so that they may benefit from their luck.

Rainbows ((( :

A malevolently focused activity neutral charm. I'm actually pretty happy with the theory I came up with for both it and pots o' gold, based on a potential relationship between the charms. Rainbows, stars, and moons are all celestial objects one can never reach. In the case of stars, its a wistful pining from afar, though you know you'll never come near. With moons, it's a little closer, more involved, you can really study it, and though it takes some work, you can eventually reach it (landing). Even with balloons, if you're not careful it can float away from you and you'll start losing to your prankster-partner bullymate. The fundamental nature of rainbows is that you can chase one, but you'll always fall behind. I envision a rainbow relationship as a sort of adverserial mentorship, with one person (the rainbow) being well versed in a skill, or just engaging in an endless stream of one-upmanship against the rainbow-chaser, who seeks to meet and surpass the rainbow's skill level. Because it is active-passive neutral, the charm can have both selfish (the chase of rivalry) and mutually beneficial (self improvement) elements. Imagine the feeling of someone continually beating you in checkers, or getting better grades than you, and no matter how much you try to improve, they always remain one step ahead (much like the symbol itself, with one end of the arc always behind the other). It could be strongly based in games of skill, strategy, or luck (as some are naturally more lucky than others), but invariably would end up in the chaser losing but getting better. It's probably a very exhausting charm for both parties, but a very rewarding one. With moons and diamonds it seems to form a trio of improvement (moons: improvement of the mind/light/spirit, diamonds: improvement of the heart/rage/emotions, rainbows: improvement of the body/life/practical skill).

Pots o' gold C]: :

Last but not least, the pot of gold charm. Occupying the malevolent active portion of the quadrant, it strikes me that it's symbol is similar to balloons but flipped and filled with stuff, indicating a material gain element. In relation to rainbows, the pot of gold is supposedly what one can obtain once they reach the end, with the leprechaun having to give up their gold. I'd imagine when the rainbow-chaser finally bests their rainbow, the charm flips to pot of gold as an achievement. Mayhaps they even get to literally take something the rainbow finds valuable, maybe it's just social clout. In this case, the ex-rainbow would become mad with rage; jealous, vindictive, and greedy, with the central goal of taking down the gold pot and regaining whatever the gold represents. Imagine if someone has something you want, so you try to get it from them however you can, through pranks, through tricks, through mind-games, through straight-up attacks. An example would actually be saturday morning cartoons and cereal commericials, in a leprechaun's eyes, the roadrunner and wile coyote, or bugs bunny and elmer fudd are committed gold pot charmmates, as are the kids and lucky the leprechaun. A common scenario in leprechaun romance could be the pairing of rainbows and pots of gold, with the chaser going after the rainbow not only to finally best them, but to win back the fated pot of gold and have the relationship flip roles.

Lastly, we come to the most fascinating element of leprechaun romance: the troves. Unlike humans, and trolls, a relationship can be defined by more than one emotion at once, even if they seem contradictory. Their union creates a unique relationship, with each of the charms representing certain aspects that the charmmates can shift between. As such, the leprechauns can (and ultimately desire to) share as many charms with their charmmate as possible. A leprechaun would look at a vaciliating troll relationship with confusion, why couldn't they be eachother's matesprits and moirails at the same time? Why must they flip between black and red if they can potentially harbor both feelings related to each quadrant with someone? The electicism and unpredictability is the point. In fact, a relationship often isn't taken seriously and isn't considered a trove unless it has at least three charms (three being the most common), with exotic charm combinations being the subject of much swooning. A one-or two charm relationship is often seen in the context of a crush, or a relationship just starting out, with the partners gaining and discovering more charms as the relationship develops and the nuances reveal themselves. (I doubt though, that the order the charms are displayed in matters, unless it represents how prominent a certain aspect is). And as Aranea said, though some charm combinations are more conducive to reproduction, all charm combinations are capable of lending themselves to concupiscity. A dance solictiation is mainly focused on one charm at a time, depending on the partners' moods, though it can easily switch charms in the middle of the dance.

Now, armed with knowledge, let us tackle this:

It looks like the felt are getting to know eachother, how sweet! let's take a look:

matchsticks and crowbar are in moons-stars, U <X, characterized by both extreme admiration and fated importance. Wait, didn’t crowbar say he “didn’t do moons”? What the hell happened here?!

Itchy and die are in horseshoes-pot of gold , C¦ C]: which considering itchy's snarky irritability, and die's ... weird ... die-ness, feels appropriate. Maybe itchy is the gold pot and the kicker

doze and clover are in balloons-rainbows, O< ((( doze is probably working very hard to try and catch up with clover's luck and speed, with plenty of lighthearted pranks on behalf of clover along the way.

And trace and fin are in hearts and diamonds, <3 <> a mix of matespritship and moirallegiance (our two sharkbois are in love, nepeta would have a field day)

Horshoe-balloon-pot o gold. C¦ O< C]: , That's kinky pranks with a greedy chase undertone. Oh gosh, clover's a real masochist. And it looks like, considering we have two forms of malevrom paired with horseshoes, my theory actually fits quite well with this apparently being a pretty kinky trove.

Oh boy, chaotic. It's hard to tell who's feeling what for whom, but we can pick out some particular troves.

die: moon-horseshoe-clover, rainbow-heart-balloon

eggs 1 and 2: hearts-balloons-pot o gold, diamonds-rainbows-star, star-shamrock-moon, diamonds-rainbows-stars

biscuits: rainbow-heart-balloon, star-shamrock-moon

clover: moon-horseshoe-shamrock, pot o gold-diamond-horseshoe

Now, if we pair the leprechauns with the same troves, we get

die x biscuits, rainbow-heart-balloon, ((( <3 O<, a loving yet adversarial, prank-based relationship between rivals

eggs x eggs, diamonds-rainbows-stars, <> ((( <X, emotional moderation but based in asymetric competition and deep respect (seems fitting for a relationship between you and your future/past self)

eggs x biscuits, star-shamrock-moon, <X 88 U, deep respect, admiration, and a sense of the other's great luckbringing and fated importance. Considering these two are almost always seen with eachother, I'd say they're going pretty strong

Lastly, let's leprechaun ship the kids. Rose and Kanaya are a very strong example of hearts-moons. They're in love, yes. But there was always that intellectual intrigue, that admiration, that sense of fate and destiny that permeated the relationship ever since they first met (along with a lot of light iconography). Terezi's trolling would be interpreted as a balloon solictation to most leprechauns. Nepeta and equius could be a diamonds-shamrock, as they are moirails, yes, but equius also deeply values nepeta as someone he is lucky to have, also seeing nepeta as lucky to have him, and he tries to keep her around him and prevent her from joining the red team, being quite possessive of her. And again, the reason Equius let Gamzee kill him and was smiling is because he had a major thing for horseshoes (horse guy, submits to highbloods, into AEA, makes sense)

If anyone else has some conflicting theories or other examples of leprechaun-romance heavy panels, I'd love to see it, feel free to ask away. Hope y'all enjoy

[cringefail-clown]

you already got asked my fav dear darling dia (based takes) so thoughts on aranea? and an obligatory dave.

ARANEA:

DAVE:

[4lph4kidz]

anyway not to go back on everything i just said immediately but like what if dirk just made all that shit about the downfall of humanity up. or... like, maybe jake did, via the medium of flashback dream ghost boypuppet. no i don't think that's 'canon' and it wouldn't make any fucking sense but its funny

[serotoninbetweenpages]

TBT to when I finished playing Prompto's DLC and a 10 year old asked me: "what did you get about that ending?" The scene was Prompto, rolling away after bidding goodbye to Aranea and then Ardyn appears.

I was confused, and I hadn't thought much of it since Ardyn, as natural, was a pain in the ass during the whole game, making his apparitions and narrating his monologues. So I went: "Well, idk, that Ardyn was there following him the whole time, and he know's where he's going?"

THE 10 YEAR OLD LIL' DUDE GOES: "I think Ardyn was Aranea the whole time". AND WTF, THAT'S GENIOUS? I DID NOT THINK ABOUT THAT, HOW A SINGLE DECADE OLD BABY CAUGHT THAT AND NOT ME THAT I'M ALMOST 2 DECADES OLD?

[mae-the-gay-nerd]

this is my rating of the ffxv episodes in the order that i've played them in/am playing them in because no one has or ever will ask

Episode Ignis: i cried once at the end of the true ending and called him a gay fag to make myself feel better while playing, good dlc tbh

Episode Ardyn: Pure confusion on my part, I franticly tried not to die while fighting Somnus, good background music tho, nice dlc hobo Jesus

Episode Gladiolus: Shity. That's it. Called him a fag the whole time because fuck you, I'm gay, i can say it. Literal trash of a dlc though

Episode Prompto: Tears. Just fucking tears. That sequence where i had to guide him through the snow while my man was internal monologuing. Tears. When my guy sat sadly all alone at the vending machines to rest. Literal tears. Have i finished it? No. Have a met his bitch ass father yet? No. Have I met Aranea (Mommy, sorry not sorry Dolly) in the dlc yet? No. And i cried genuine tears over my little man multiple times.

[dingodad]

when aranea talked about them "living out their fantasies" in alternia she meant kankri finally having an audience for his pretentious monologues

ok well i firmly believe kankri could never have ended up like that if he didnt have at least a thousand followers validating all the stupid shit he said on tumblr. it was probably mandated by the culling system that everyone olive and above gave him likes and everyone from teal upward gave him reblogs

[knights-unwelcommentary]

Aranea mind controlling Gamzee is so interesting to me cause there's really no way to prove she did or not. When a Serket tries to control a troll that's not susceptible to it they can still feel the attempt being made and Aranea would have monologued everything she wants of Gamzee at him, the entire plan even, so it wouldn't be hard to guess what her instructions are going to be

[saltedsolenoid]

me an ask

i assign you aranea serket! no clue why

aranea is a dead troll and a sylph of light, meaning she heals people through light, to put it INCREDIBLY simply. like many other light players, she has a horrible tendency to monologue and go on exposition rants about things that she's interested in, which in her case is mostly historical trivia about her world. although she puts up a cheerful and very nice front, it's actually revealed (right before she dies for the second time, may i add) that she caused the entire main conflict of homestuck. or at least the second main conflict.

she's still a relatively minor character though, don't worry

[addybrock]

the fucking one-two punch of peter overcompensating for his secret identity by declaring that Why, he's never seen a spider in his life, officer! And if he had, then he'd be their #1 hater! Those little eight-legged freaks can stay very far away from him, Peter Parker, normal high-schooler and hater of all things in the order Araneae! Fuck those guys! Which he's not a part of! while his inner monologue is so lame even he's like "woah man, do you think there's a reason you don't have friends"

[approximateknowledge]

5,25,78

5: i am a troll, it feels more accurate to say i made a humansona for practical purposes. so yeah

25: only a little while back i would've said redglare (<still love her) but honestly? i think mindfang; specifically because of the realisation that cool facade aside, it's still aranea-infodump-failgirl-serket under the hood so just imagining her internal monologue while shit is happening gives her entire story this ambient comedic ciaphas cain energy and it's perfect i can't unthink it now

78: oh absolutely; it's not even for the bit or anything i just think it's genuinely a good system

[29pageshomestuckeveryday]

Homestuck, page 3,468

==>

Author commentary: Vriska hits a pretty brisk monologuing stride here. There's a whole other dimension of self indulgence we're seeing from her, switching gears from "Here's why my literal thousands of murders shouldn't be held against me," to "It sure is a shame we never got to grow up, but [lip trembles a bit]…it was awfully nice we got to make all your stars for you along the way." I think this marks the moment when we start seeing Vriska's full capacity as a Light player blabbermouth. Which is a concept we don't really begin to have a full appreciation for until we start reading Mindfang's horseshit (coming very soon, I'm pleased to report), and much later, Aranea's even horsier shit. Then we connect that to Rose's tendencies and suddenly it all starts to make sense. It is my view that such indulgently prolix characters start seeming a lot more endearing and less burdensome when you know that character trait is actually a cosmic feature stemming from a mystically endowed core to their identity. In a way, it almost starts to come across as a very specific type of disability. See? Just another reason to root for Vriska. She's doing her best despite her impairment of self-obsession.

At the end of the day, Vriska did 90% of the talking, while John intermittently offered a few remarks such as "wow" and "geez" and "huh" and "golly, that's a lot of murders…" But then, that's why John is such a perfect friend. And an even perfecter friend for Vriska, who really just wants a boy-foil functioning as the ultimate enabler and sounding board for her apologist "multicultural" navel gazing and self-absorbed rationalization narratives. He is the Heir of Breath after all. It's a passive class, and he's a passive guy. An heir, literally speaking, is one who inherits stuff. Let's infer this to mean, for the sake of this particular note, someone who "inherits" by making room for something to fill, such as wind. He certainly provides that service for a whole lot of hot air when it comes to Vriska.

[sylleblosscm]

Noct: Poor Luna...don't worry...even though your memories are gone, I still love you...I don't want to leave you...but I will save you, no matter what...

Luna: ...Idk who that was, but I wouldn't kick him out of bed.

[davestriderpostscratch]

the beforus session drives me nuts bc all the info about it is presented in the most irritating possible way (through the dancestors themselves who p much all have grating personalities or through aranea’s purposefully long and boring monologues) but if you actually sit and read it all it’s like wait a second. there’s cool stuff in there

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

Headcanon Anon here with the kids' individual senses of humor!

John-Zany, prank-filled, with slapstick! Not out to hurt anyone's feelings, just mildly annoy/confuse strangers and friends and family.

Rose-Snark, dark humor, casually intrusive wordplay. Has a hidden goofy side that only friends know about but likes to present herself as a Rule 63 Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files with an even worse sense of humor.

Dave-Anti-humor with rambling monologues and left-fielders galore. Probably went to sleep watching Tim & Eric and would get along great with Neil Hamburger.

Jade-Loves math humor and feghoots; actually likes to work for her laughs, the poor soul (Remember, she is canonically able to make Kanaya laugh so make of that what you will.)

Terezi-Sick, distressing, prank-filled sense of humor that's a dark mirror of John's. Basically swears by the healing power of schadenfreude. Could take Eric Andre's desk in a heartbeat.

Kanaya-Morbid, literalist sense of humor. So dry that most people don't tend to know if she's joking or not.

Tavros-Self-deprecating, surprisingly dark at times sense of humor. Casually mocks any unfortunate events that befall him, regardless of the seriousness.

Karkat-Wants to come off as serious but likes it when people show dedication to a joke, like H Jon Benjamin's jazz piano album.

Sollux-Loves snarking and loves being snarked at. Is also partial to particularly negative reviews of things as long as it doesn't rely on shouting and obvious bias.

Feferi-Very juvenile sense of humor with a love of puns, toilet humor and bring up sexual topics in non-sexual situations. Giggles everytime at the "hide under there/under where?" gag.

Eridan-Not really a laugher but does chuckle at hearing a good pun every once in a while.

Nepeta-Loves her puns and her small pranks like hiding kills in friend's pillows. Thinks pushing cups off tables is the height of comedy.

Equius-Enjoys gentlemanly Oscar Wilde-esque snark; also enjoys his share of puns.

Meenah-Loves puns, pain, people being in pain, breaking stuff, and Aranea's long-winded shaggy dog stories. She'll kill you if you tell anyone the last part though.

Vriska-No sense of humor. Does funny things, says funny stuff but has no timing, can't tell a joke to save her life and hates comedies.

Jane-Loves sitcoms, one-liners from detective dramas and verbal bathos.

Jake-Loves one-liners and pratfalls. As well as the good ribbing from any of his friends.

Roxy-Loves pranks, flirtations (even more than Rose, believe it or not) and coding humor.

Dirk-Very dark sense of humor and loves to keep people in the dark about how serious he is about any given topic; he likes it even more when even he doesn't know (re: his MLP obsession)

Aradia-Twisted sense of humor almost as dark as Dirk's; believes nothing's off the table and will only stop when her target audience tells her to, nothing more, nothing less.

Gamzee-Loves bad jokes and stupid sounds; will probably laugh at a joke without you having to finish it.

Damara-Sexual humor is her main weapon and everything is looking like a target; will do anything outside of actual battery to make her target uncomfortable.

Rufioh-Has a wide range of humor but seems to prefer observational comedy.

.

[telaraneas]

hold on a second i just realized the whole thing with vriska and the breath players on a wider narrative level is basically a "north wind and the sun" thing, except with the roles of those elements swapped

as in: vriska spends her entire screentime trying to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN, and to be The One Who Makes Things Happen. she pushes tavros and john around for this purpose, but in the end she only gets what she wants out of them when she gives up, letting them embody their OWN aspect instead

to tavros, she tries to FORCE him to grow into his potential via violent sink-or-swim north wind tactics, and eventually tavros takes it to heart- but it just never works out the way vriska wanted it to, all it does instead is stunt tavros' personal growth by convincing him to tackle everything with the same north wind strategy- which, i mean, it's tavros... the guy CANNOT do that, he can't even bring himself to believe it deep down

with john it works out better, mostly because instead of trying to force him to be more like her, she just hassles him to act her own will through him by directing him the entire way, which suits john just fine! he's just swapped one light player guide for another, and since the way john's aspect manifests in him being rewarded by the narrative for going with the flow, it ends up with john god tiering and doing exactly what needed to be done with pretty much no resistance. of course the prototypical breath player would welcome north wind tactics and go with it like a dandelion

but in the end, it really doesn't have much of a long term influence on john as a person- not in the way vriska kept trying and failing to pull with tavros- and the next time they meet properly, john gets his Narrative Contrivance McGuffin Delivery from his fellow breath player (who lost it because he was actively looking for it), and he doesn't get much useful out of vriska until later, the NEXT time they meet, where despite growing quickly disillusioned with her as a person, he is once again guided towards yet another mcguffin, this time deliberately because there's two light players in there and one is a sylph lol

speaking of which: the clearest manifestation of the north wind and the sun thing with serkets and breath players is the two objectives of Ghost Pirate Quest, and how those wound up resolving: the ring and the army

let's start with the blatant dramatic irony regarding the ring: if vriska had just accepted the random ass ring that a random ass guy gave to her as a proposal, she would have straight up just bypassed the whole entire adventure. ofc that could not have happened because it would be dumb and narratively meaningless, but that's the thing- she could never have accepted it BECAUSE light inherently rejects the narratively meaningless- at least, it rejects the things that SEEM narratively meaningless

instead, the breath players, who are all about the random blessings that the narrative brings to their doorstep, though in different directions (bear with me i'll elaborate on that later), fumble with it and eventually it ends up in john's posession. HOW the christ it entered the story is irrelevant- for narrative purposes, tavros taking it is what established it as a Thing, and john recieving it (...even if only via teen idiocy skfndj) is what established it definitively as Something That Exists In The Narrative.

whatever the case: eventually, aranea serket happens. and she pulls the ultimate North Wind fuckery with that thing

first off, aranea, the sylph of light, is the one to give it narrative weight; aranea at that point had mostly served as an exposition mouthpiece, which was The Joke with her, but narratively, it means her monologues work as a way for the story to fill in information of important narrative weight, without having to explain where exactly that information is even coming from

as a thief, vriska doesn't HAVE information of her own; what she finds, she usually has to claw out of the world with teeth and nails, (which once cost her an eye or two or seven). rose, as a seer, also seeks it out, but it tends to come to her more easily, and her mistake is usually just not questioning the source of said information.

but aranea, partly thanks to being a more minor character who spent her entire life and most of her un-life offscreen, embodies being a sylph of light by being basically a conduit through which information is introduced into the story for the first time; it's not relevant HOW she knows the things she knows, just that she WILL impart as much unfiltered Lore as the story needs :v so it is THROUGH aranea that the ring is first given in-universe importance; in-universe she's just revealing information that already existed about the ring, but from a narrative standpoint she is the tool used to GIVE that ring a background and function. she's the sylph of light, she shines light into the narrative where there previously was none, that's what she does

and for a while, she seems content in that role... up until she reveals she's not, because Serket Controlling Tendencies, and goes FULL North Wind brute forcing the narrative with knowledge and fate.

which. doesn't exactly go well for her

as a matter of fact, it doesn't go well for anyone, because being a sylph of light means her actions are NARRATIVELY COHERENT and thus all the godtier deaths stick and this whole mess is accepted as the alpha timeline, at least at first. aranea is the ultimate embodiment of a character who is all narrative function and practically nothing else, a tool for exposition, and as such when she uses herself for her own goals in steering the story as she sees fit, she succesfully advances the plot right off a cliff while vriska learns from her mistakes (and she IS learning, she can act above it all as much as she wants but i don't believe for a second that she didn't make those realizations about how much of a terrible idea it is to use the ring to do That in the exact moment aranea did it; earlier she was literally getting mad at tavros for losing that same ring)

for now, let's talk about john's Deus Ex Machinification

so, vriska sees the clusterfuck, and gives up on the ring, and aranea being gone means the pirate quest also fails on the other side of things (and BOY will we get back to the Mind Control Army plan.)

i've talked before about how i think breath as an aspect is the domain of narrative contrivance; pretty much everything in john's arc is comprised of stuff happening TO him, he keeps getting powerups and being just in the right place at the right time. the kid is literally blessed by the power of Being In The Right Place At The Right Time... and as i've mentioned before, this is kind of the exact opposite of vriska's approach to life. vriska tends to take Not Knowing Things as unbearable, and is in constant pursuit of the safety of certainty, but john really seems to never even stop to consider that sort of thing. he lives moment to moment without knowing what the hell is going on 80% of the time, and that tends to work out well for him

the big reversal, however, that forces his turn from someone just blessed by breath into someone who also EMBODIES it, is when he starts getting pinballed all over the (Right) place (And Right Time)

this, which once again he stumbled into by accident guided by light players, puts him in the position to BECOME a conduit for narrative contrivance, in the same way aranea was a conduit for lore exposition; but it's crucially important for this whole plot beat to land that we see him grow into it, get yanked around, fuck around with the mechanics at random and by accident- unlike aranea, who is allowed to pull her information from literally nothing, john needs to be put through this onscreen and give the audience time to acclimate to this being a thing he can do: because this, with the context of everything else about john's story ever, is the only way to sell the Big Retcon.

if so far john had been just drifting around in the wind, being magically taken places and having the plot delivered to his doorstep, this marks the point where the story demands he BECOME that wind for everyone else, running counter to the overwhelming predestination at the core of homestuck's narrative up to that point

i don't think it's a coincidence that roxy is the one person to accompany him on that whole journey, since void is the other aspect that doesn't really give a flip about the established timeline of things that must/will/have happened

and similarly, it's not surprising that terezi is the one to set the course for him- for the first time since way back then when she got him killed and vriska took over guide duties, the one leading him by the hand and the narrative as a whole isn't a light or time player, who are concerned with the things that are set in stone and certain, either narratively or mechanically, but by someone whose domain, despite leading her to the same conclusions, DOES allow for an understanding of how the thing that weaves that thread of fate is individual actions, that the universe may be functionally deterministic but is made and chosen every moment, thus making her the single best person to put at the helm of the creation of q timeline that breaks with all established rules of what can and can't be changed

anyways ive gotten offtrack

my point is: vriska spends so much screentime fumbling and clawing her way back into the narrative, north wind-ing the hell out of it in every way she can think to do until someone else succeeds and makes her realize that the brute force method is never gonna work

you know what approach DOES work?

it sounds odd to call this the sun, but it's effectively what it is: the narrative running its course to fix things, via terezi making slight adjustements and john going along with it despite not understanding their purpose. just allowing things to run their course. vriska was going to come back, she HAD to come back, but she couldn't BRING HERSELF BACK; that was never going to work.

she could only get her wish as a gift carried by the breeze.

(in the form of a punch)

(and yes, i know they are technically different vriskas, but my point is more in terms of general character themes and what the narrative does and doesn't reward)

bringing it back to the other half of it:

meenah spent a while trying to recruit people to the ghost army, but when that didn't work, the serkets shrugged and went full control, literally. they probably figured it just made sense, because making a ghost army was the plan and there was just no other way to get from point A to point B without brute forcing it

but in the process, guess what vriska finally gives up on?

vriska repeatedly says- and i think BELIEVES- that what she did to tavros throughout act 5 was because she wanted to toughen him up, to FORCE him to face challenges way too steep for him and come out stronger, which makes sense considering her entire life and philosophy. in a way, she's trying to do with him what she does with her dice with her god tier powers, cut out the uncertainty and get right to the best result, force him to claw his way to self-reliance the way she did

but the thing with tavros is that like i said, this just Does Not Work. as a breath player, boxing him in and forcing him to go the hardest possible route Because I Known Better is the worst possible thing you can do to him, as we see time and time again throughout act5 and their dream bubble interactions. tavros just becomes a worse person by trying to mimic her, and yet he doesn't actually improve or even make her happy, and eventually she loses interest in him and just carries him around like a lackey, until he gets fed up and fucks right out of the narrative.

the thing about pages, i think, is that with the right conditions, they BECOME their aspect for other people, for better or worse. so if breath is the aspect of contrivances and blessings being delivered when the story needs them, it makes sense that, ONLY when vriska (both of them) have given up entirely on tavros and stopped wanting or expecting anything from him...

he shows up with the exact miracle she needed, delivered without issue or resistance, and made possible not with the forceful howling of the north wind, but with the warm natural light of the sun.

(and then tells her to eat shit. godspeed, tavros)

[davekat-sucks]

What's your favorite ship based solely on its MSPAbooru name? For me, I always laugh when I read the name for Damara/Rufioh.

There are certainly a lot of good creative names on it. But I would say the most hilarious name for a ship would be the one for Aranea Serket x Porrim Maryam. Their ship name is vagina monologues.