#application and i am going to put my all into it and i am going to wish and wish and wish to get the position and i will demonstrate how i | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drafty-castle · 2 days ago

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My wife just got her SSDI accepted in October. She has been assessed at “nursing home level of care”.

I have been payed by her state insurance for five months to be her full time care giver - after three years of just us emptying out our savings so I could take care of her. It is cheaper for them to pay me than for her to go into a nursing facility - not that I would allow that, ever.

Before she got the Medicare associated with SSDI, DHHS were fighting to take away her state insurance because we were make too much money for it. You know, the money I make that they, themselves, pay me. It lead to a viscous cycle of we make too much money so she’s kicked off… so we make little enough money to apply again and I get my income again… so we make too much money so she’s kicked off…

And now that she has the SSDI, they’re taking half of it in Medicare part B-Z fees because our “income” means she’s not eligible for assistance. We’re fighting to keep her on an -aid supplement but the Bitch who is in charge of the application process is demanding ridiculous and non-applicable to the current situation things “to process the application”. Things like all of my wife’s bank statements from as far back as 2018.

We can’t get those! We can’t because A) one of her old banks has straight up purged all information on closed accounts after 3 years, B) there is a paywall at another bank of $5 per statement leading to hundreds of dollars of fees, , C) they’re all in banks across the country and her name has changed to they’re reasonably questioning her identity, and most importantly, D) she held those accounts with an ex-husband whom she has a restraining order on and can’t access them because he still has them open. The Bitch’s response to this? Well, we need those statements. And, what kind of domestic abuse did you experience? (That’s none of their gods damned business!) And then, oh, by the way! We also want a copy of the check you used to buy your house three years ago. The Bitch is refusing to talk to her case worker, is demanding to talk to her while she’s in therapy appointments, and sending her into a full mental breakdown at this point.

Does this make any gods damned sense? No. Of course not. But that’s not the point, is it? The point is to put up barriers. To make it so hard we just give up. The point is eugenics.

Thankfully, her (wonderful but way overworked) caseworker is not letting the Bitch talk to my wife without her ever again (and neither am I), I’ve gotten a number for the ombudsman for that department, and I’m also planning to call the Bitch’s supervisor and present a proctology report.

Oh, by the way? Turns out through out the months we’ve been fighting with them on this, they were never supposed to be counting my income to begin with because I am literally payed by the state insurance itself! Yet despite this, there will likely be several more weeks that I won’t get paid as we figure this shit out.

Incompetence! Incompetence everywhere!

And yet all this might become moot under our Commander in Shit’s reign of terror.

I am so tired.

Yeah, I really am worried about the future my SSDI, and people are telling me it'll be fine.

#disability #disabled life #disabled wife #ssdi

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richarlotte · 1 day ago

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What did you do/use for your facial beauty glow up?

Lip Filler.

I have 1.5 mL of lip filler at the moment and probably won’t get more any time soon. In my mind, it’s the perfect amount; it gives my lips a delicious, just bitten look, and it doesn’t look or feel unnatural. I’m someone who loves subtle changes; I’m not the sort of girl who’d go crazy with surgery, and I prefer to make my changes slowly. I started with .5 mL, slowly went up to 1.5 mL over the course of two more appointments, and I think plumping my lips up completely changed my lower face and made me look younger and more feminine.

Polynucleotide Injections.

This treatment is major in South Korea; it’s very popular, and one of my best friends went and came back singing its praises. After weight loss, this is the most important thing I have ever done for myself. These injections boosted my collagen production and made the terrible dark circles and puffiness under my eyes disappear. It took a few weeks for me to see the results, but I look like I’ve had an upper and lower blepharoplasty now; my eye area is completely rejuvenated and the skin is bright, and while my initial reaction to the set of treatments I had was intense, the end result was better than I could’ve ever hoped for.

A Comprehensive Skincare Routine.

The skin is the body’s largest organ, and the first step to learning how to care for it is understanding that you and it must be hydrated. Learning that what I put into my body was just as important as what I put onto my skin helped me change my approach to skincare. I mostly use French, Korean, and medical-grade skincare products, and I switch them out each season so that I can approach my needs correctly. Washing and changing my sheets twice weekly, going on a low estrogen birth control, and adding N-acetylcysteine to my supplements helped me more than I could ever say.

Minoxidil.

Using Minoxidil to grow my eyebrows out was one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself. I love the look of thick, lush eyebrows, but I don’t actually like thick brows. I used minoxidil to grow my eyebrows until they were thick and I could have them threaded and thinned out just a bit, straightened, and tinted until they were the shape and shade I wanted. Minoxidil is a great tool; it's decently affordable, and while the results take a while to appear, once they've been appearing, they’re very noticeable. I also use a regular lash serum on my lashes to grow them; it’s from The Ordinary, and I think it works slowly but nicely. You do have to be very precise with your application of Minoxidil, but other than that, it’s very good for filling in sparse eyebrows.

Weight Loss.

Losing over 80 pounds, doing a complete overhaul of my diet and limiting the amount of processed foods I consume, making an effort to care for my body and mind, and changing my mental and physical health for the better completely changed my world. My insulin resistance is totally gone, I’m healed from the PCOS that once plagued me, I no longer eat the foods I have sensitivies to, and the inflammation and water retention I’d have the morning after are gone, and I feel like my best self. My double chin has been vanquished, my bone structure is visible again, and I love the way my nose looks, and I am so much more confident about the shape of my face. Losing weight is the best thing I have ever done for myself, and I’d recommend it to anyone who feels like they need to overhaul their life.

Proper Styling

Learning how to do my makeup, contouring my face with self-tanner, and styling my hair were all major parts of becoming more confident with my face. Now that I know what I’m doing with myself and I’ve been able to identify what suits me best, things come easier. Proper styling is what’ll make or break you. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if you don’t care for your appearance, you’ll struggle. I put a lot of time and effort into learning what looked best on me, learning how to style myself, learning what worked with my facial shape and bone structure, and figuring out which lash maps, brow shape, makeup style, and colors suited the overall aesthetic I was going for. Learning about makeup products, trying a variety of different makeup styles, and new makeup techniques made a world of difference for my styling journey too.

Braces.

I had braces on for just over a year—traditional metal, power chains most of the time—and they were worth every cent. I was always insecure over my teeth, and fixing them has really made it easier for me to smile and express myself. Although they’re not perfectly straight or blindingly white (Kirsten Dunst is known for her smile for a reason), I’m confident, and I love them. Taking care of my teeth is something that I really struggled with at one point, and I have had to make a real effort to get better at that. I still have my dental routines, wear my retainer at night and through the day, and do brightening treatments, but I’m focused on the health of my mouth instead of aesthetics now.

These are the major things.

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uniiiquehecrt · 3 months ago

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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.

It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.

Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.

The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.

This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.

Actors are not the same as voice actors.

And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.

I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.

People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.

Voice Actors ≠ Actors.

#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats #(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong

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piyo13sdoodles · 1 month ago

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day 5 on chapter 15 of Hands of the Emperor:

He played until the full moon sailed high above them, his last song one of the endless longing of a poet who had fallen in love with the Moon. [...] "It is nearly the eclipse," his Radiancy said in a quiet voice, and Cliopher realized that he probably knew its coming far more intimately than any of them.

#the hands of the emperor #hands of the emperor #artorin damara #nine worlds #inktober24 #THIS ONE KILLED ME WUAGH.#i am in that part of the art curve where my eye is SO much better than my skill so it all looks OFF #anyways part of the problem is also this should have been a Colour WorkTM #you get the tone contrast between the background (which is also BLUES and GREENS)#against HR who is still in darkness EXCEPT for the fire glow on the harp and his skin and the BRIGHT gold of his eyes #ink is such a tricky medium to work with sometimes!!!! i also feel like i'm struggling with not making all the pieces the same...#last year's had more variety in stroke i feel this year i'm just hatching #it gives it a more coherent look though so i guess i can't be too mad #ANYWAYS. long ramble bc i'm putting off finishing a job application #but i should go do that now... if you've read this far have a cookie #OH AND!!!!!!! I WANTED THE MOON TO HAVE A RED GLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someday i will redo this in color

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femme-foucault · 3 days ago

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This is actually really interesting to me (especially as someone who has used SEO data involving Google searches as pertaining to user personalization factors involving personalized data (including geographical region) versus contextualized data (trending analytics, for instance), keyword data, etc. in some of my political discourse research). I am curious as to the wider contexts of these searches because I know that as much as those of us on the left want to believe that people who vote third party ideologically for reasons such as Palestine are a more influential force than they actually are, they are a fairly small minority even in swing states. So those people are not likely to be enough of a population to radically ask "change my vote" when they expected Harris to win and be self-righteous versus Trump winning and panicking like many of them (though not all) did in 2016 and I think more than are willing to admit are doing right now. I would imagine people who abstained entirely for some of the same reasons might be reconsidering, but why use those keywords? Sure, not everyone is used to how to use keywords in the most optimal way, especially based on generation, in a way those of us who grew up with search engines often take for granted. But I am interested in the wording here and the reasons behind it.

My guess without further context -- with the caveat people's knee-jerk reactions are often wrong and that is why data and fact-checking is so important -- is that without knowing the scale of how many people are Googling "change my vote" that it is a minority because the fact is if 5 people Googled that search query on October 5th and a 100 people Googled on November 7th, that graph reads the exact same way as if 5000 people Googled on October 5th and 100,000 people Googled on November 7th so an exponential increase in queries is not that useful when tracing trends in search engine queries without accounting for scale. One possible way that to bridge the discrepancy between what I talked about in the last paragraph and the possibility the graph does reflect a large scale change in searches in a way that is not being visualized in the screenshot is the the possibility undecided voters who abstained and changed their mind (again) are using keywords liked "changed" instead of "vote late" which would give them accurate results (namely, that they can't). But yeah, without more context, I don't know and that's interesting to think about but also something that might be really hard to study.

I'm going to McFucking Lose It

#the reason it can be hard to study phenomenon like this is that the people who make search inquiries like this are hard to interview bc no #one thinks that they aren't *good* at Google #and yes me too! I can talk about so many studies off the top of my head using everything from qualitative research methods to eye-tracking #software to study how people interact with search engines and it does not matter how educated you are -- people typically DO have certain #patterns when it comes to search engines that they are not aware of #yes you can get more precise in many cases but the first step is acknowledging that we all do not notice as much as we think we do #and keeping that in mind #(and the precision cases often involve familiarity #But THAT also gets compromised by the fact that since 2022 #there have been such noticeable shifts in Google's search engine filtering algorithms that even lay people notice it #so some of the academic research about patterns in filtering are off now because that's the nature of dealing with digital objects -- your #object is always going to be outdated at some point. The value of that work is that it crystalizes a particular point in digital history #of technology #and THAT is highly important in terms of later scholars being able to trace a narrative of history and theory of technology in an age where #it can be difficult to document shifts using traditional research means #but at some point it is always going to have primary value as a historical artifact and not a comment on the times esp with the length of #time and rigor peer-review takes.#I am a meta-methodologist in my approach so that has less applicability to me in certain aspects of my work but with case studies?#yeah my PhD dissertation is on the role of algorithmic filtering in the 2016 US election and juxtaposition between discourse around #technology in that election and technical writing about it in terms of underlying assumptions about the nature of knowledge (epistemology)#that work in technological AND political rhetoric regarding how information filtering works #So I am acutely aware of the amount of changes that happened in search engines alone between when I defended my prospectus and when I #defended my dissertation are staggering #and it is still important to clarify something about a historical moment #but yeah that was a long rambly self-indulgent way to say researching this shit is hard and I would be REALLY interested if someone on the #more social science oriented side has ideas on how to go about studying this in a way that can be traced #actually yeah going to put this in the #academiaing #tech tag #tags for the tag rant alone

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isabelleadjani · 2 months ago

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the face of decay, truly

#*f #tomorrow i am going to go straight to the library and get started on editing my project proposal and expanding on it for this phd #application and i am going to put my all into it and i am going to wish and wish and wish to get the position and i will demonstrate how i #was made to do nothing else with my life than pursuing this research.#and if i don’t get it i will cry but i will try again.#but for tonight. i am just gonna watch this movie and be tired and exhausted.

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averlym · 1 year ago

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ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done #there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself #maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth #ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi #beatrix valeria campbell #hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3 #the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like #there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name #because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and #fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help #let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away #from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera #like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but #that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea #the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same #as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow #as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh #speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me #and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind #of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk #fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing #i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts #fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front #paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels #more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that #front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry #oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers #and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)

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mintowls · 9 months ago

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everyday at work i hear something that makes me want to strangle rich people even more

#client wanted to put a swimming pool directly in front of their bedroom to stop. snakes. from getting in. apparently #they’re an older couple and have no intention of swimming in the pool #it’s just to stop. the snakes #also the house is for the two of them and it has three bedrooms. and all the spaces are massively oversized.#they also own the house next door and almost certainly many more #since they just put in an application for a 90 million dollar development somewhere else #hooooo. i like my coworkers and like the technical aspects of my job but im like. losing it #also that time a client yelled at me bc her tiles came late from italy like wtf #am i the tile manufacturer ??? am i the australian border force ???? am i the shipping boat ????????#anyway im going insane. anyone wanna pay me to draw whatever characters i want forever #why don’t i have any interests in industries that are not notorious for horrible work hours …..

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boxwinebaddie · 2 months ago

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because i wrote insane jerseykyleyb dialogue in that long ass ask answer i just wrote ( which, holy shit guys, a mildly in character nina post? naaah ur tripping; un hasn't answered an ask in months skdks )

you can have some of this VERY CURSED ( i'm sorry, he's so fucking funny he is my hero, seriously ) in the heat ( wheW! bc he's BAD) of the very fucked up ravesey breakup/divorce and ( sigh ) a very frightening manic bipolar episode/bender ( manz bad in both ;) & :( ways ) rockstar ravenstan of crimson dawn on stage at his show

BEIN THE FUNNIEST MAN ONCE DEAD & NOW ALIVE,

and the only context is that it's a divorce era para ( the worst kind, like bruh, uncle neen! can we pls have something hap--shhhh~ don't worry about that, baby! just eat your delicious dinner, sweetheart! xx <3 )

ravenstan has manic panic pixie dream boy box-dyed red hair, ( i am barking ) it's a crimson dawn concert, and...jersey is in the audience in...( sigh again ) the worst FUCKING DISGUISE i've even SEEN!!!!

anyways...

ROOOOLL CLIP!

( edit: no one clap me for my bad eStañol; i haven’t taken it or anythin seriously since universidad ( bad ), babEy! )

please note that after this…he quite literally just started basically making an online dating profile and was listing off his interests ( idk if it’s gonna stay but it was hella funny and he is so cute to me; it just got too long ) but this is my favorite part — BEAUTIFUL DORK TTRPG RAVENSTAN IS LIKE NERVOUS FLUSTERED SIMP JERSEY TO ME; IT IS MY FAVORITE CONTENT —

rock and body ROOOOLL

BONUS TRACK:

my hand is over my EYES…btw, the people booing?

That’s ME.

i’M BOOOOOOOING!!!!

gET OFF THE STAGE, STANNIE DORKOOO!!!!

#LOOK AT THIS DORK ASS BITCH I'M CRYING HEEEELP #like i need yall to know he is a beautiful famous rockstar #THE STUPIDEST MAN ON PLANET EARTH #AND FUUUUUUUUUUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOSER #this cannot stay i got way too into it and was being insane like this is too cursed BUT I WAS DYING LIKE HEEELLLO???#SUPER BESTIE YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH THIS IS SOOOO MESSY BUT ALSO KEEP GOING KING UR KILLIN IT #after the events of rm when he can just freely exist and be UN(H)CRINGED on stage as RavenStan...Immaculate Content #LIKE HES KINDA EATING NGL I AM SIMPING MY MAAAAN #i know jk out there sweating and fighting for HIS LIFE TOO #I KNOW HES CRYING AND THROWING UP LIKE WHY IS MY CRAZY HOT EMPHASIS CRAZY EXBOYFRIEND UP THERE #SAYING VERY SEXY THINGS IN SPANISH WHORIN HIMSELF OUT TO THE FAKE INSURANCE COMMERCIAL LADY #AND LITERALLY PUTTING IN A BOYFRIEND APPLICATION TO HIS ENTIRE AUDIENCE OF LIKE A MILLION PEOPLE #LIKE I WOULD END IT ALL I AM SOOOO SORRY TO HIM #( but also idk king maybe you should slide an application in and use a fake name ) I GOTTA WRITE THE FIT DESCRIPTION #BUT ITS SO FUNNY LIKE OH MY GOD BROTHER THEY ARE BOTH DOING THE MOST MY BOYS MY BOYS MY BOYS #also ravenstan trans intersectional feminist KING ILYSM

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trash-bin-ary · 2 months ago

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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.

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lux-astrorum · 2 months ago

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lying on my bed at 6pm bc it's finally the weekend and the last two weeks have been some bullshit

#the first week of September not only did i have a cold but i was also in a mad frenzy to mail my grad school application to korea #within the VERY short window in which they accept them #and i had to run all over while I was sick (I wore a mask everywhere believe me I did not WANT to go out) for a day to get it done #and it was sooooooo expensive to mail quickly hoooolllyyyy shit #i had a friend over last weekend which was fun but exhausting #then sunday night after a relaxing day i check the tracking link for my application papers and it said they couldn't deliver it #but there were 2 updates one said the address was wrong one said they couldn't get access to the building to deliver #SO ANYWAY I freaked out and didn't know what to do and by time I put my phone away and went to bed it was sooooo late #and I spent Monday/Tuesday being worried 24/7 and going back and forth between the university and UPS on email/phone to get it sorted #thank god I got a delivery notification super late on Tuesday before I went to bed and the school updated my application by Weds am #so I can sleep in peace for now #but ......god #why does the plot always have to be thick like pleaseeee #so anyway Im taking this weekend to rest and recharge #my friend sent me a gift box from lush to make me feel better and I WILL be using it🥹#I plan to relax and plan my korea trip and sleep a lot this weekend tbh #also i get paid today yayyy #haven't posted a long personal vent in awhile figured it was time✨#//#personal

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lovelyisadora · 4 months ago

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just submitted another job application and now I want to walk into the ocean and never come back

#I didn’t think I wanted this job but now I very much want this job #please let me receive a call and an interview next week 🫶🫶👏👏🙌🙌#my other two applications were totally a bust it’s been two weeks and nothing #I want to apply to more positions in this school district but this one pays the most #and I don’t want them to be like ehhh she doesn’t have a lot of experience let’s put her in this less paying one instead #when they could possibly be like hey let’s give her a chance ya know #so I’ll apply in other school districts lmao!!#until I hear back about this position. or not. but I’m manifesting it bc it sounds perfect for me #👈 is this all wishful thinking yes! but I am going to manifest it let it happen let good things happen to me please

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kayvsworld · 1 year ago

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so we've been emailing and calling everyone we could think of to find out how to get access to the house to pack up and move our things into storage, and the only response we've gotten At All was 1) an email back saying "yeah you need to move your stuff asap. no we won't give you a clear date or info on how to get into the fucking house" and 2) a letter dated TODAY saying that everything from the house has now been moved into a storage facility and they're not responsible for ensuring that everything was moved out of the house and no we can't go check or pick anything else up :)

then the storage guy's like yeah the people who took the house never give any warning, and he has 4 other houses that this is happening to, and that they will personally charge us 800/month for storage and then give the storage guy a tiny cut of it, so he said we should find any other cheaper storage place and he'll help us move our stuff there for free

i am going insane. why is this like this. i am going insane

#we're waiting to hear back on an apartment application and staying in airbnbs in the meantime and i am going insane #like. fuck! fuck! i was thinking i would at least get to put my shit into boxes and move it and make sure i got everything #but instead it's just all shoved somewhere and we don't know how much of it made it or what got damaged or anything #it's 15 years of stuff in a house. where the fuck did they put it. how did they get it in there. what did they leave. i'm going 2 scream #kayvswords

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1ovestay · 6 months ago

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wont lie im having a terrible fucking time with it! fuck applying for jobs what if i end it all instead

#its so fucking frustrating #all the application templates are so annoying the education system is different here so i cant even input my further education #like i have a cert IV in veterinary nursing but its not an option on any of the application form things like its not quite a degree #so i cant even put that i have any further education #and dont even get me started on the fact that my qualification means nothing here and i cant actually do the job i like and am trained to d #i have to pay 300usd just to get them to look at my course content and decide if my study is equivalent #and if its not and i have to do more study well then all of that was a waste since i cant study on my visa #like its not even worth it which sucks bc now i have to take min wage jobs instead despite knowing how to do a job that pays like 25-30/hr #and ive applied to so many fucking jobs and no one has gotten back to me yet i feel like crying #like i have savings im not going to die if i dont get a job instantly but having no income sucks so bad #and also just being at home with nothing to do is killing me like this is my first time being jobless since i was 15 and im strugglingggg #ugh anyways. anyone wanna hire me #p

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girlscience · 11 months ago

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well. I added my recent work stuff to my resume today, but then got stressed and didn't even manage to edit it. the day isn't over so maybe I'll get more done, but aaaghaghghaghag

#I thought I just needed to add my new experince and call it good #except it is definitely made for applying to a job not a school #and i dont know how to change it or what all i need to change to make it better #like i feel like i should remove things but then it just seems really empty??#and i am also trying to plan a trip with my mom to go look at one of the schools tomorrow #because i completely forgot that was a thing i should maybe do?#i just started applying places without even thinking about the schools themselves #outside of if they were good/had the programs i want #i didn't look at price or the campus or how big they are or what cities they are in #and the one im looking at with my mom has two campuses and i have to pick which one i want to go to #and trying to figure out which one would be better is very confusing #wish they would just be like you will have access to these facilities at this campus and these facilities at this one #but they dont have that #and then also i need to figure out TA/GA positions and applications #and i am so stressed about that and keep putting it off #but like. i have basically given myself two weeks to get everything done and haven't done any of it yet #and i am going to cry and puke #do i actually think i can do this if the application is making me feel like this?#but i cant back out now because i have told too many people and asked for refernce letters #and also i do want to do it #but then i am also supposed to look for even more schools and have to do all this for them too #*sobbibng*

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arolesbianism · 9 months ago

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So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

#rat rambles #oni posting #for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files #the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out #I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space #I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed #and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies #probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow #itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas #one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing #also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know #their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation #but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there #god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad #btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it #and I desperately need to view it I need to view it #also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier #also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer #(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought)#but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it #again Im mostly just hunting for lore #hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department #maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont)#man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol #in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps #I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit #idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with #Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years #which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable #albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids

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