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coochiequeens · 2 years ago

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If a menstruation app wants to help women avoid headaches maybe they shouldn’t let men use the app.

An app created to help women track their menstrual cycles is under fire after it was revealed biological males were using private chat functions within the app to communicate with women on intimate matters.

Flo is a popular period tracking app that allows women to track their menstrual cycle allowing them to predict their next period, track their fertility, and to better understand their reproductive health. Though it is ranked the #7 most popular health app in the Apple Store, Flo is now sparking backlash after it was learned males who identify as “women” are being welcomed to use the app.

On January 12, a feminist account on Twitter kicked off the upset, calling attention to the fact she had witnessed self-described “trans women” using the app’s forums to communicate with female users about menstruation.

Flo responded to the user saying: “We aim to support everyone with periods – regardless of gender.”

Despite Flo’s tweet that the app is suitable for “anyone with periods,” screenshots from the apps message boards, known as secret chats, began to circulate showing the app was being used by biological males who were communicating directly with the female users.

On Twitter, women began to rally under Flo’s posts, asserting that males do not have periods and thus should not be accepted on the application where women are discussing intimate details of their reproductive healthcare. Some insisted they would uninstall the app, disappointed with Flo’s response.

“That’s me uninstalling Flo App then. Can’t use an app that gaslights women into thinking men can have periods,” one Twitter user responded.

“Right. And since males don’t have periods they have no business being in chats with women who do,” stated another.

Faith commentator and influencer Allie Beth Stuckeysimilarly called attention to the ordeal, reporting to her more than 390,000 followers that Flo was allowing men to take part in chats with women discussing intimate healthcare. Stuckey posted screenshots showing she had been blocked by the app’s official social media page after them “‘trans women’ don’t have periods. Women do.”

But Stuckey was just one of dozens of women Flo quickly blocked for issuing criticism of their “all genders get periods” mantra. Reduxx discovered our social media account was preemptively blocked by Flo despite never having interacted with it.

Screenshots rapidly began to circulate from women showing they had been blocked by Flo after pointing out that males do not have a uterus, and thus, do not experience menstruation.

“Flo App blocked me, a woman who uses their app for my period tracking and fertility, for asking why they allow men on their period app. They allow ‘transwomen’ in their chats,” said one user.

Reduxx has obtained further screenshots from Flo’s “secret chats” which show men discussing their “periods” and bathroom access with female users.

In some conversations held in the “secret chats,” trans-identified males discussed the possibility of getting uterus transplants. In one post seen by Reduxx, a trans-identified female offered up her womb to a male who was expressing a desire to have a baby.

A common theme amongst the trans-identified males using the app is the insistence they experience the symptoms of menstruation, including “cramps.”

But, according to the National Health Service of England and Wales, the “cramping” commonly associated with menstrual pain is the contraction of the muscular wall of the uterus.

“When the wall of the womb contracts, it compresses the blood vessels lining your womb. This temporarily cuts off the blood supply – and oxygen supply – to your womb. Without oxygen, the tissues in your womb release chemicals that trigger pain,” explains the medical authority.

The revelation that Flo welcomes males onto their app comes at a time where there has been a pointed uptick of males on social media platforms like TikTok claiming they experience “periods” or period-like symptoms as a result of taking cross-sex hormones. Many women have taken issue with this calling it a mockery, appropriation, and fetishization.

Despite males not having a womb, it has become commonplace on social media for trans-identified males to report having accessed healthcare services to relieve them of their uterine cramping.

According to Flo’s terms of use, “Flo Secret Chats is a special feature of the App that allows users to communicate with each other on a set of different topics related to women’s health and wellbeing.” In the secret chat rules it states that users as young as 13 years old are allowed to participate in the chat community, potentially

This is not the first time Flo has received backlash in 2021 a lawsuit was filed against the organisation alleging they were disclosing their users intimate data to third-parties.

Flo Health allegedly violated users’ privacy by disclosing their information to third parties through software development kits incorporated into its app, despite the company’s privacy policies and “public assurances” that it would not share data, stated the complaint.

By Shay Woulahan Shay is a writer and social media content creator for Reduxx. She is a proud lesbian activist and feminist who lives in Northern Ireland with her partner and their four-legged, fluffy friends.

#Flo #men don’t get periods #No uterus no period #Biology is a TERF #Flo censored women instead of looking at the real issue

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queenlilith43 · 2 years ago

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I FINISHED TMA SEASON 1! And I’m emotionally scarred so let’s get into it:

- THE SKIN??? THE STAPLE-GUN???? I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN MORE SHOOK???

- JANE??? I feel a little bad for her tbh

- The nest is such a gaslighter

- Can we stop talking about worms plssss

- “A deeper love, not one that you would understand” *cough cough ABUSE cough cough*

- “Martin keeps showing me his tongue, asking me if it is infested” HELP

- If I had a nickel for everytime a Jonathan went crazy because of sleep deprivation, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

- NOT HIM LITERALLY SHOWING JON THE APPLE, I CAN’T

- Leitner’s pages? Interesting… also Jared Key again

- The end of 35??? The fuck??? I am??? Confused????

- oh no, those are Jane’s spiders….

- Jon and Martin’s heart to heart talk saved my soul and my entire day

- Martin’s corkscrew and CO2-boxes saving the day fr

- TIM KEEP UR CLOTHES ON

- No because is Sasha save with Elias???? SASHA BBY STAY ALIVE

- Sasha just gave me one more reason not to trust Elias

- SASHA OMG NO

- MARTIN AS WELL??? CAN EVERYONE STOP SPLITTING UP????????????

- Ok, everyone is alive (except Jane, hopefully)

- Gertrude’s body was found? This could get interesting in later seasons, I hope we’ll get more on her death

- “Everyone’s fine.” WRONG JON, I’M NOT FINE

- She. was. shot. ELIAS, I’M LOOKING AT YOU MF

- Ok, I’m excited for Season 2

- YES Q&A (It’s like a reward)

You finished that FAST. I took two months to finish it because I kept get scared by the episodes. There are many many weird things in these episodes and I absolutely love how the Jane thing was planned out.

Also, Jane is very dead! I can promise you that. Another person who's dead is Gertrude . . . I wonder who killed her. Could it be Elias? Could it be one of the archival assistants? Could it be someone else? Who knows! Season two's plot is a murder mystery and it's amazing.

If you liked Jon and Martin's little conversation in 39, I promise they have more interactions and I absolutely love those two.

Listen to the Q&As! Listen to Jonny and Alex talk about their plans to torture the characters!

#asks #the magnus archives #alec not alright wood #i'm so so glad you're enjoying it

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chocolatte-and-despair · 4 years ago

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Yandere MLP headcanons part 3

Rarity

* Rarity is a possessive yandere. She is demanding and aggressive, as long as it gets what she wants in the end. And what she wants is you. She loves you and isn't going to allow anyone else to take you from her. * If you would reject Rarity, she would end up spreading rumors about you, so you would have nobody around you but Rarity to adore you rotten.

Apple Bloom

* Apple is a dependent yandere. She is very possessive and obsessive over you, but also always needs you around her to be able to function. She loves you too much to be able to live without being around you! * If you would reject Apple, she would end up threatening to hurt herself if you don't accept her love. Why won't you accept her!?

Scootalo

* Scootalo is a possessive yandere. She is cheerful and pretty happy to be around, but she is very tterritorialoo. She understands that you don't like being with just her, but she feels insecure and she doesn't want anyone else to steal you away from her. * If you would reject Scootalo, she would end up gaslighting you into being with her. I mean, you aren't like everyone else, right? You will love her, right?

Sweetie Belle

* Sweetie is a dependent yandere. She is very shy and quiet and needs you to function. You are the only person that she feels comfortable and happy around. She doesn't need anyone else if you are going to be around her. * If you reject Sweetie, she would end up threatening you with her life. If she can't have you, then she doesn't need to live this cruel life anymore.

Babs Seed

* Babs is an aggressive yandere. she is violent and aggressive and treats you absolutely horribly, but she also sometimes treats you so lovingly, it makes you wonder if she really is the same person, as the person who always hurts you. * If you would reject Babs, she would threaten to kill you. How dare you not love her back. If you aren't going to be hers, then you should be dead instead!

Enjoy my content? Want to support me? Buy me a ko-fi!

Want to commission something? Check out my commissions' page!

#yandere mlp imagines #yandere imagines #mlp imagines #yandere mlp headcanons #yandere headcanons #mlp headcanons #yandere mlp #yandere #rarity #yandere rarity #apple bloom #yandere apple bloom #scootalo #yandere scootalo #sweetie belle #yandere sweetie belle #babs seed #yandere babs seed

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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years ago

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Don’t Look! [Part 3]

<- Part 2 | Part 4 ->

Frederick Chilton x Reader

Once again, transformation AU by @we-are-all-just-a-bit-crazy, I’m just making a fic with it! (Going to try to wrap this series tomorrow; we’ll see if I can keep up the pace). Mutual pining + Chilton having trust issues.

2,160 words

The door opened a crack, and Dr. Chilton’s eyes appeared, searching up and down the hallway. Your pulse quickened. Finally, you were going to get answers—some logical explanation for what you’d seen last night. At least you could show him support this time instead of leaving him trembling in the dark.

He seemed to be human again. You found yourself checking and rechecking the texture of his skin for lingering signs of spikes and swirling darkness. A chill ran down your spine at his proximity, like it did when you saw a spider. You wished it wouldn’t. You didn’t want to be afraid of spiders. You didn’t want to be afraid of him.

Finding the coast clear, Chilton opened the door another few inches and stepped out wearing your grey hoodie and sweatpants. His hair was a mess, the hood pulled down to hide it.

“I cannot be seen this way. If you need me, I shall be at home. You have my personal number. Please call Nightengale Restorations and have them fix the office. Tell them I will pay a fifteen percent bonus for having it done this week,” he prattled in his professional tone as if this were just another workplace matter. He walked away, a slight hitch to his swift gait, but turned after three steps and met your eyes. “Thank you,” he said.

***

There was no confrontation after that. Dr. Chilton resumed work the next day, and things simply went back to normal. That is to say: awkward silences, reading novels into every word, and the simmering tension of pretending everything was normal when, in fact, nothing had been resolved.

Questions burned in your eyes, but fear restrained your tongue. The answers would only make you more afraid, and so Chilton did not volunteer them.

You didn’t run away, but you didn’t ask, either. Chilton was satisfied that you were just as in denial as he was.

The daily routine went on exactly as it used to: you would arrive at 7:30 am, knock at his office door, hand him a coffee, and take the file of paperwork he wanted done that day. Only there was hesitation in your knock, and you waited for him to say, “Enter,” instead of sauntering in like you owned the place. He had you put the coffee down on his desk so you would not risk brushing his fingertips as you sometimes did. When you took the file, you stared at him like he might bite.

“That will be all,” he said, dismissing you before your stoic mask faltered and you showed your true disgust.

***

Chilton’s skin crawled beneath his suit from his arms to his feet, and his scar throbbed for the first time in weeks. Having Abel Gideon back under his care was disconcerting, but a necessary part of Will Graham’s therapy—or rather, another clue in the case Graham was building against Hannibal Lecter.

He was skeptical at first. Graham was a lunatic—a sociopathic manipulator. Delusional. Yet, even a sociopath could not fabricate such elaborate lies with that much sodium amytal running through his veins.

The nightmares would be worth it when he was the man famous for bringing down the Chesapeake Ripper.

“Hey.”

Chilton looked up, eyes rimmed with red from hours of staring at a computer screen, working late yet again. You held up a bag of takeout, a weak smile on your lips.

“Need a break?” you offered, moving to sit across from him at his desk. Everything in the office was tidied up—you had cleaned most of it yourself the day Chilton went home in your sweatpants. The damage wasn’t as bad as it looked. Most of the furniture was simply overturned, not broken. Only the antique in-wall shelving waited for professional repair.

“No. Thank you,” he said, waving away the food. His lips thinned wanly. “You may help yourself if you like.”

He was equally surprised and suspicious when you stayed, unpacking the container of vegetarian pesto tortellini. He watched hungrily as you lanced one with a plastic fork and brought it to your lips. His stomach growled.

“Are you alright?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, straightening defensively in his seat.

“With Gideon here. That must be difficult.”

“I manage.”

You chewed another pasta in silence. Finally, he couldn’t help it and grabbed the second fork, stealing a tortellini off your platter. It was rich and flavorful—a bit heavy on the salt, but obviously from a fine restaurant. He held the bite in his mouth. No strange aftertastes. He did not feel woozy after swallowing. There was always a chance you were willing to drug yourself to get to him if you had an accomplice waiting to spirit him away to some secret facility.

“All right,” he snapped, chair shooting back toward the wall as he stood. “What are you after?”

You gave a startled “Mmph?” around a mouthful of pesto.

“What is the catch? A price for your silence? Why are you here, bribing me with dinner?”

“I… I’m not—what? I was worried about you.”

“Unlikely, considering the circumstances. Tell me what you want.” His eyes locked onto you, cold and piercing.

“Fine!” you broke. “I want you to forgive me!”

“For what?” he sneered, half believing your words were a veiled threat.

“I’m sorry, OK? Please—what can I do to make up for it? I tried giving you space, but now you look at me like I’m going to kick you, or”—your eyes widened at the plate of food he only touched after you ate some—“poison you! I swear I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” he asked in an entirely softer tone. He sat back down, hunching forward across the desk to search your face.

Your head hung low, and you murmured quietly, “I know I didn’t handle it well. I should have left when you asked. Now I understand… you didn’t want anybody to see that. I invaded your privacy. And then I freaked out!” Your voice broke. “And I’ve been trying to… to make up for it. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but—dammit, I’m pushing you again! Sorry.”

The urge to hug you overwhelmed him. If there wasn’t a deliberately massive table in between you—meant to keep others at a distance—he would have hugged you.

“Are you not afraid?” For once, the broadness of his desk seemed obtrusive.

“I could never be afraid of you.”

Your arm crossed the divide, reaching for his hand. It touched, warm and easy, and gave a sympathetic squeeze that set his blood racing. Then it retracted, and his skin ached for the lost contact.

“I just got scared because I didn’t understand what was happening. I still don’t. Maybe I am still afraid, a little. But not because—! Please, just… tell me what that was. What happened to you?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. Eyes narrowing, he answered cagily, “First, what do you think you saw? Light can play tricks on the eye, especially after long hours in a morbid environment, possible exposure to hypnotic drugs… Let us be sure we are on the same page.”

“Are you seriously going to gaslight me now that we’re finally talking? I’m not an idiot. You still owe me those pants back!”

While he floundered for words, your eyes squeezed shut, and a hissing laugh burst from your nose. A red flush crept up his neck, under his shirt collar. It was inappropriate to laugh in this situation, but perhaps that was why it was so contagious—it had been too long since he’d seen you laugh, and even longer since he’d done so himself.

“Those cheap, scratchy, torture devices? Consider it a favor that I tossed them,” he quipped. (Forget the fact that he had been sleeping with his face buried in them for the past week and simply did not wish to return them before wringing them for every drop of your scent.)

“And yet you wore them, which means I saved your ass. Checkmate, doctor.”

“Please. It is barely a Vienna Gambit.”

Laughter felt foreign in his throat. It was soft, and only lasted a brief second, but it was cleansing. You smiled at him, rolling your eyes, and his soul lifted.

“Very well,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Ask your questions.”

Your eyes darted to the windows. Another late night. Stars appeared (the handful not blotted out by Baltimore’s light pollution). You chewed your bottom lip.

“Are you going to transform again?”

“Only on the night of the new moon, when twilight gives way to the black of night. No need to worry.”

“Just once a month, then? Werewolf rules?”

He shot an offended glare, though you weren’t wrong. “Sometimes two, near the aphelion. And during an eclipse. It… hates sunlight. Even the reflection of the sun. It wants to be in darkness.” The thought disturbed him—the way the beast called him to the shadows. He always fought it to stay indoors, locking himself away from any nocturnal roving. It frightened him what might happen if he gave in. The coppery taste of blood haunted his dreams.

“Then… would you transform if you went spelunking? You know, in a cave? Or a submarine?”

“I have not tried. A darkened room is not enough. I would not tempt it.”

You swallowed and thought. Your lips twitched, building to the important question: “Is it still you in there?”

“Yes. More impulsive—I would never have smashed the decor—but I am still there.” It brings my true self to the surface, he thought, but withheld this. A slimy, dangerous, unlovable wretch. He looked at you, sitting across from him in front of a container of food you brought to share, and wondered what you were doing there after seeing it. How could you bear to be near him?

“But you’re not going to… eat me or something?” You were embarrassed to ask, and he gave you a fittingly scathing glare.

“No. I would not eat you.” He stabbed a tortellini and popped it in his mouth.

“Then I want to see it.”

He choked.

“I want to get a better look. To wrap my head around it. Besides, it seemed painful—next time I could bring you a hot towel, or… a cold pack, or… I don’t know, some tea? An ibuprofen?”

“There is no next time. You were never supposed to see that in the first place.”

“Please? If it’s going to happen again in two weeks, I want to be there. Prepared this time.”

“This is not a zoo. I am not some freak show to be gawked at! What happened to you being sorry?”

“I just want to get to know you,” you answered, and your voice sounded so small his heart reeled. You snapped your head up, “I mean—I want to be there for you. You shouldn’t be alone.”

He scoffed, defensive again. “Why? Because I might do something dangerous? I am more than capable of controlling myself.”

“Because you deserve to be comforted when you’re in pain.”

Your words struck him like a nuclear bomb of basic human decency. Deserved? Comfort?

“Does anyone else know? Does anyone… take care of you when you change?”

Only his family knew, and they certainly did not take care of him. Bringing him that bag of clothing in the morning was the first time anyone had done something thoughtful for him—helped him with his condition. Even if you had run away at first, you wanted to be supportive. To know his dark side.

Why?

Was it possible? Did you feel the same way about him as he did about you? His hand still felt warm from where you had briefly touched it.

He had to admit, it was nice having someone be there for him. Even a small gesture like old, loose-fitting sweatpants in a bag made a world of difference. Or dinner at his desk. He imagined you pressing a steamed towel to his forehead, and he did not hate the idea—doting on him like a spa therapist, taking the edge off the pain as his hair fell out and skin split open. Or watching him become hideous. Vomiting at the sight of him. Losing all interest you might have had. Realizing it was a mistake to be there.

“Thank you for dinner,” he announced in curt, clipped syllables. “That will be all.”

“Frederick…” Your voice was low, personal. Pleading. He did not like how personal it was. How you were giving him everything he wanted, like you were baiting a trap.

“Fascinating as this must be for you, I still have work to do. Your shift ended an hour ago. Go home.”

“OK. Right. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You didn’t see him trembling as you left, clutching his hand over his fluttering heart.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

Taglist: @beccabarba / @itsjustmyfantasyroom / @thatesqcrush / @dianilaws / @permanentlydizzy / @mrsrafaelbarba / @madamsnape921 / @astrangegirlsmind / @neely1177 / @onerestein / @dreamlover31 / @isvvc-pvscvl / @shroomiehomie / @storiesofsvu / @welcometothemxdhouse / @feedthemadness-sweetie / @law-nerd105 / @amelia-song-pond / @michael-rooker / @xecq / @madpanda75 / @alwaysachorusgirl / @bananas-pajamas / @leanor-min / @mad-girl-without-a-box / @katierpblogg / @worldofvixen

#Frederick Chilton x reader #Frederick Chilton #Hannibal AU #my writing

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heyheydidjaknow · 4 years ago

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Why do I not have the option to copy and paste formatting? Why is that an option I am not given? Who thought that I wouldn’t need that when I’m on my phone? Screw that guy, who I am arbitrarily calling Adam. If anyone knows how to do that, please tell me.

Chapter 6 Pt 2

“There is no fucking way you got a date with her.” Raphael does not even look it up. “No way in hell.”

“And yet the flow chart worked.” He laughs from his lab, shutting off any excess equipment as to not overwork it. “It worked like a charm and she asked me to go to her place so ha.”

”You didn’t show her the chart, did you?”

“I did not.”

“Well, there you go.” Leo looks back at him from his seat on the couch. “What time?”

“Seven o’clock.” He slides the door closed. “But I’m planning on being there at six fifty-five so that she knows I value her time.”

“Does the sun set that early?”

“Why do you even ask?” Raph turns a page in his once periodical periodical. “You know he looked it up.”

“As a matter of fact, I did. Forgive me for also valuing preparedness.”

“Nobody likes a know it all.”

He grins smugly. “That’s where you’re wrong. See, I,” he gestured to himself, “have a date with a gorgeous girl tonight, one where she has already invited me into her home, and you,” he gestured to Raphael, “are reading a magazine from a company that went out of business two years ago alone.”

“Donnie, don’t be a jerk.” Leonardo looked back at the television. “Raphael brings up a valid point; you tend to act like you know everything, and the actual request wasn’t for a date.”

“How else can I interpret one on one time with her?”

“Well,” he counters, “how do you interpret one on one time with us?”

He blinks. “Wait, so you’re saying she’s… how do you put it?”

“Nah, I don’t think she’s friendzonin ‘im.” Mickey looks up from his drawing. “Think she’s sending signals she doesn’t mean to.” He sets his half-shaded piece aside. “Think about it; she said she’s been all stressed out, right? She died like two weeks ago.” He shrugs. “She’s probably just lonely and needs the company.”

“That’s… actually really insightful of you.”

He grins. “What can I say? I’m a modern McPherson.”

Raph snickers at that. “Donnie is more of a McPher—how old is that movie, anyway? A hundred?

“Hey!” He shoots a glare at his brother. “Respect the classics.”

“Not to interrupt your riveting intro to film class,” Donnie interjects, losing his shit, “but I really need to know what this is before I go, and it’s already fifteen ‘till.”

“Look, maybe she’s interested, maybe she’s not.” Leonardo’s eyes are back on the screen. “Just try to tread carefully and you’ll probably be fine.”

“Probably?”

“Again, Raph had a point.”

He groans, walking to the entrance and exit of their home. “You guys aren’t helping.”

“Not our job.”

Leo calls after him. “Be home before six!”

He turns the corner, cradling his head in his hands. ‘I am totally and thoroughly fucked.’

GoodFellas.

Of all the movies in the world, that is the movie you have decided to use to explain these concepts. This is the example piece that you are going to show to the vigilante. All you know is that you had started watching the Phantom Menace and had decided against explaining the concept of racial coding and this is the only other movie that you can think of right now. You have decided to commit, and you are already regretting it, but you decide to figure it out as you go.

You set the pizza on the coffee table, throwing a bag of popcorn in the microwave to pop. You do not expect Donatello to be late, so you decided to start now so that they could get started right away. You start walking to the window, stopping at the mouth of the hallway. You look yourself over one more time in the bathroom mirror despite yourself. You do not exactly know why you care so much; this was not a date, and you had not advertised it as one. Still, impressions are important, and the last thing you need is for him to not listen to you because of it. That is what you are telling yourself, anyhow.

You hear knocking against the glass. You check your phone for the time. ‘Five minutes early.’ You smile softly. ‘How responsible.’ You open it up, smiling at your guest. “Welcome, Donatello.” You take a step back. “Please, make yourself at home.”

He barely makes a sound as he steps off the windowsill, looking around your apartment, fully illuminated, for the first time.

After about thirty seconds of his investigation, you clear your throat. “Donnie?”

He snaps out of it. “Huh?”

You smile gently. “You wanna sit down? I bought pizza.”

“Uh, yeah.” He nods, sitting down and facing the television screen. “I like your place.”

“Thanks.” You sit down next to him, tucking your feet under you as you flip on the television. “How do you feel about gangster movies?”

“Gangster movies?”

“Yeah.” You list a couple on your fingers. “Scarface, Godfather, all that jazz.”

He shakes his head, brow furrowed in confusion. “How can you make gangster movies legally?”

“That is a long answer. The short version?” You lean forward, taking a slice from the box. “The police are kind to those who cooperate, and people think their stories are fascinating.”

“So they’re documentaries?” He mimics you.

You shrug. “Sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. You want something to drink?” You hear the microwave beep as you stand up.

“Water?”

You nod, walking over to pull the popcorn out of the microwave and grab your drinks. “I trust the walk wasn’t too bad?”

“Not at all.” The small talk is torture. “Getting to your window was a bit of a challenge, but it wasn’t anything too bad.”

“That’s good.” You pour him a glass. “I’ll have to get something for that; maybe a planter or something, so you have a bigger ledge.”

“It’s alright.” He taps his fingers against his knee. “It’s wide enough to stand.”

“Still.” You place his cup on the counter, dumping the kernels into a large plastic bowl. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if one of you guys got hurt trying to come in through the window.” You grab a can of soda out of the refrigerator, sitting down and handing him the glass.

He smiles slightly. “You’re really sweet sometimes, you know that?”

You grin. “I try,” you hum, starting to pull up the movie. “I think you’re pretty cool too, Hamato.”

He chuckles. “You make me sound like I’m fifty.”

“Oh, totally.” You nod in agreement. “You’re an old soul.”

He blinks. “Old soul?”

“Mature, I mean.” You shrug. “I mean, handling the stuff you do with any degree of tact, to me, displays a great maturity you don’t see in most teenagers, myself included.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You get back up for napkins and plates. “Not at all.” You hand him one of each. “It’s an admirable quality, though not one I particularly envy.”

“You think?” His hands linger for a moment longer than typical as he took them.

“Yeah. You want me to turn down the lights for the movie while I’m up?”

His face goes red. “I-I mean,” he stutters, “if you want to.”

“Then I will; shows the image better when it’s dark.” You walk to the wall, flicking off the lights and sitting down next to him, setting your slice on your plate as you turn on the movie.

Your reactions to it are different.

He does not seem what you would call disturbed, but he gets grossly invested in the story extremely quickly. He is noticeably more interested in watching you watch the movie, but he studies the plot intently, noting the more domestic plotline between the lead and his wife in particular. His reaction to the violence is strange to you; he is not aloof, so to speak, but he does not flinch much until the fighting is between Henry and Karen.

You have seen this movie what feels like a thousand times. Whenever you think it applicable, you lean over and whisper to him about the directing, the script, the plot—it is supposed to be a lesson, after all. But you realize that your attention, every so often, shifts to the bed, to your pillow with the knife underneath it. The violence of the movie makes you edgier than you are used to.

About halfway through the movie, you move closer to the boy sitting beside you. You lean your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes as you listen for cues for comments. You don’t notice his reaction, but you do notice how his arm snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You do not object; you were the one who initiated, after all.

“Here’s a psychology relationship thingy you can tell your family about.” You cringe at that poor little girl standing in the hallway. “’That’s all in your head’ is classic gaslighting. I dunno if that’s really your area or not.”

“Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.” He fiddles with the cloth of your jacket absentmindedly. “It’s kinda hard for me to wrap my head around, people staying like that. I mean,” he clarifies, “I get why, but—”

You both tense up as a young man on screen is shot dead by Joe Pesci’s character.

You exhale. “Yeah, I get what you mean.” You shrug. “But folks get scared, ya know? In her case, she doesn’t want to break the family apart, and she’s really into him.”

“What? No way.”

“Yes way.” You look up at him. “What can I say? We fall into infatuation so fast with bad people who say what we want to hear.”

“Don’t you mean fall in love?”

You watch as Lorraine Bracco holds a gun to her husband’s face. “Nope. Love is entirely different.”

“Yeah?” He glanced down at you.

“Apples and oranges.” You gesture to the television. “Love is supplementary, a beautifully imperfect connection between people.” Your voice becomes smoother, airier. “It’s a bond built on trust and respect. Infatuation is more of an addiction than anything.” You sigh as Liota meets to discuss his relationship with Sorvino. “At least I think so. That’s why love at first sight is a bunch of bullshit; you can’t have that kind of profound trust with someone you just met.” You shrug, looking back up at him. “Then again, what do I know? I’m an inexperienced, fifteen-year-old girl.”

“That makes a lot of sense, actually.” He looks back down at you. “I get what familial love is, but whenever Master Splinter talks about his wife, he has a hard time putting what he means into words.”

You hear their guilty verdict. “Totally get that. Articulation is not easy to do.”

A few minutes go by.

“May I be frank?”

“Please.”

You watch as a man drags his wife out of a Christmas party. “This movie is exactly why I don’t ever want to learn how to do the stuff you do. It changes you, all that violence; desensitizes you.” You bring your knees to your chest. “Especially Raphael. I swear, that shift was as dramatic as his, at least at this point in the flick.”

He pauses. “Please, tell me you’re kidding.”

You close your eyes, breathing slowly. “I’m going to try my best,” you swear, “do everything in my power, to see to it that you guys don’t experience more than you have to.”

You mean it. He can tell.

You two are quiet for the rest of the movie. You explain why certain directing choices were made, connect the beginning with the end, talk about the theme, all while you two watched their fall from grace. When the movie ends, you realize how tangled up in him you are; your head on his chest, legs draped over his with his arms around your waist. You feel the icy air against you, as if his skin attracted it to you. You push the hair out of your face. “So,” you stretch, turning the light back on, “do you wanna see another movie, or do you have a curfew?”

He pauses. “I should honestly probably get home,” he sighs. “If I’m not home early they’ll start getting ideas.”

“Oh, yeah.” You nod, completely understanding the reasoning. “You can take the leftover pizza home if you want; the guys’ll probably eat it before I do.”

“Mikey’ll be on cloud nine.” He picks the box off the coffee table. “Thanks.”

“Any time.” You stand at the window, opening it for him.

He climbs onto the windowsill, looking down at you from his perch. “I had a good time.” His face flushed. “We should do this again.”

You nod in agreement. “Definitely.” You rub the back of your neck. “I’ll pick a lighter movie next time.”

“Alright. It’s a plan.” He gives you a thumbs up.

You steal yourself, cupping one side of his face and kissing him gently on the cheek. “Goodnight, Donnie.” You smile. “See ya tomorrow.”

You are a bit concerned he’s going to fall off the windowsill. “Y-Yeah,” he grinned, words slurred. “See ya later, Y/N.” He waved, climbing up and out of your window.

You smile softly, sigh. You flop back on the bed, rolling over. You have not been this at ease since you died.

‘I really like that guy.’ You close your eyes. ‘I really, honestly do.’

You drift off to sleep, dreamless for the first time in too long.

Table Of Contents

Chapter 6 Part 1

Chapter 7

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surejo · 5 years ago

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( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot )

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her.

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes.

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8.

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco,

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic,

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie,

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved!#there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!!#i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring.#also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird????#we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

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murdocklovespage · 6 years ago

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One more note on plagiarism

This is an answer to a Karedevil Squad ask. I figured since these are very much my opinions, I should answer it here so that people could come at me directly if they want, especially since I’m calling a specific person out.

I’m sorry if this is long-winded or redundant in places. Blame it on the rage.

I’ve had a few people ask me about my anti-plagiarism comments. They stem from this message, which several people received in their inbox a little over a year ago.

Dmcreif had been a slight annoyance pre-plagiarism explosion. He sent many of us dozens of asks, (frequently the same asks) and was clearly obsessive. He liked to mansplain things like “fridging,” “toxicity,” and why Matt Murdock was somehow not deserving of the fallout from the mistakes he made. That I could deal with because I enjoyed reading people’s differing ideas about the analysis I was writing. Dmcreif does not. He loves to argue. He loves to hear his points validated. And he loves to harass people.

Many of us didn’t see what he was doing until the anon message. I still feel like people are pissed about us validating him by answering his questions/talking to him, but if you weren’t following a ship, or you just missed it, you didn’t always notice this shit. I follow hundreds of people and didn’t see his harassment until a couple of weeks before it blew up.

You’d see a post where he made some asinine Kastle or MattxElektra comment and tag it. You’d see veiled comments about how a “certain Karedevil user” is back at it again. I messaged several people asking about what it meant and they were always classy, just referencing someone who upset their ship. I jumped into an argument he’d started about Elektra’s toxicity saying Matt Murdock was a grown ass man and defending Elektra and I got the nicest message saying the OP appreciated my saying it. They were dealing with this shit on and off Tumblr and I didn’t know it. Not until the anon bomb went off and I started combing through his tumblr and reddit posts.

I realized that I wasn’t the only one he was doing this to and it was much worse than I thought it was. I never received the message, but I found 1200+ word posts I’d written directly copied and pasted under dmreif on reddit, as well as other words I’d written reposted in the comments of other posts. I saw specific users directly pointing out that he stole entire posts without crediting people. Numerous times. My blog name was mentioned in one of these comments on a site I had never used. He knew what he was doing and he kept doing it. It was infuriating. I was shocked.

Here are some examples posts that he stole from:

Mine “His” Trombonesinspace’s “His”

Those are the easiest examples and are just a drop in the bucket (dude posts a lot, so don’t waste too much time.)

After being confronted (and this wasn’t the first time, apparently,) he wrote this “apology” which had been forced out of him when he came to a justifiably pissed individual with his tail between his legs.

There are some wonderful users who noticed these things pre-“apology” and post-“apology”, but he ignored them (once he apparently added quotes, but that doesn’t make it better in my opinion.) People also reported him for copyright violation, but reddit only allows you do that after so long, so in my case, I was out of luck. Check this reddit user’s comment history for some enlightenment.

After this blow up, people stopped talking to him. And responding to his asks. And many blocked him. It didn’t matter. He created a new blog (georgiakaredevilfan) and started sending asks from that. And if people didn’t respond, he’d send anons. His questions are pretty obvious and many of us have recognized when it was him.

Since you are the person who sent this message, @evs14u , I will give you an example. Here are three of your anon asks with a link to a VERY similar question he asked on reddit.

Your “anon” ask His post

Here is one specific thought he took from you and re-worded - you can find it in the coments of the first “’his’ post” link above. Yours:

“his”

Maybe it seems small, but that only took me twenty minutes to find. He posts to reddit like crazy and I don’t have your words memorized. So it’s more difficult than say, finding 1000+ word posts I wrote and he stole in their entirety.

It’s gotten easy to figure out when a new blog is his. Obsessed with Karen Page? Check. Obsessed with the core three getting back together and Karen having to be their secretary (thanks to DDS3, he’s upgraded that role slightly)? Check. Obsessed with hating Olicity. Elektra being “toxic.” Matt Murdock’s mistakes being somewhat his fault, but mostly the fault of the people he wronged over and over again? Getting the group together sooner? Everything coming around to Karedevil? Check, check, check. And finally: false-ignorance when it comes to harassing people who aren’t in his ship and at the same time blatant harassment and baiting to get reactions while still thinking he’s a good guy. Check.

He makes comments about wanting the ships to get along and how certain “bad apples” spoil the bunch. He is the bad apple. He is the one who stirs up shit when he disagrees. He is obsessive. He makes people hate Karedevil shippers (and we’re a lovely bunch), and he made people want to leave this site altogether (me included.)

He needs your validation. He needs your thoughts so that he can repost them - as @significantowl pointed out, it seems like he’s harvesting opinions that he can use. He’ll send you asks where he tells you something instead of actually asking something. Sometimes there will be a question attached to a tangent (which he likely stole), but most of the time it’s just a statement. He wants you to tell him he’s right. There isn’t much of a way to escape him. He is obsessed. It doesn’t matter when you join this fandom, if you have views that are similar, or if you have the complete opposite, he will bother you.

So yeah, this isn’t just about plagiarism, it’s also about harassment. I care more about the latter, to be honest, so I’ve paid attention. I’ve stopped writing meta because of him, but I’m not going to ignore the blatant crap he’s continuing to pull. He is a gaslighting sonofabitch and he makes us all think we’re paranoid. We aren’t.

#plagiarism #stalker #dmcreep #asks #Karedevil squad

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adampage · 6 years ago

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Oh, Arthur.

Part 1: Nothing Else Matters (link to ao3 if it’s easier to read there)

Pairing: John Marston/Abigail Roberts (mention), John Marston/Arthur Morgan

Word Count: 2402

Warnings: *Don’t read if you haven’t finished the game. Seriously.*

Author’s Note: This b*tch loves happy endings. I’m still catching feelings for Arthur Morgan and I’m not the only one. Part 1 is angsty, but the next few parts will be comfort (and possibly smut? idk yet). Stay tuned.

***

John hadn’t seen Arthur in nearly a decade. The last time he’d seen him, he was running away from Dutch and Micah, tripping his way over stones and dirt on a bloody mountainside. The Pinkertons were right on their tail, too, and Arthur had stayed behind to give John and his family a chance at survival. It ached John to the core to leave him, the way he had, but Arthur hadn’t really given him much of a choice. He was a stubborn old fool if John had ever met one, and it only made sense that he was, given the kind of men that he’d been raised by.

It was difficult to tell which gunshot of the many he’d heard echo throughout the hills was the one that got him, but he remembered one in particular that sounded so terrifying John tripped over his boots and fell to the ground, a cry of frustration preceding the tears that sprang from his eyes, as his heart skipped a beat when he knew. He knew, and there wasn’t a goddamned thing he could do about it now. Arthur was gone, and he’d never come back.

John coughed up bile in the bushes, pang of misery convulsing through him from the battle he’d gone through hours before, on the train. The anxiety bubbling did nothing to help matters, and it took him several moments to calm himself. He thought of Abigail, of Jack...they were waiting on him in Annesburg, with Mrs. Adler protecting them. He knew how wild she could be, and reckless. He only hoped she kept them safe until he got there.

“John, you sorry son of a bitch,” he huffed out, struggling to stand up in his grief and agony, the sound of Pinkerton horses rumbling beneath his feet, “this ain’t no time to be a weak bastard.”

He wandered through the trees, hiding when necessary from men on horseback John knew he couldn’t outrun. He walked all the way down the mountain, until he caught sight of the yellow gaslights hanging from the wooden buildings of Annesburg. Hiding in the shadows from any officials roaming about, he found the house that Arthur told him his family was hiding in. Sadie opened the door with a cocked gun at his face and a knife to his groin.

“Mrs. Adler, always a pleasure,” John groaned.

“John!” Abigail cried from behind her, rushing past the other woman and pulling him into her arms. “John, you’re alive!”

He didn’t have time to register any other words being spoken, before everything went dark.

***

“Wake up, you scarred fool.”

“Leave me be.”

“Oh, so it’s gonna be like that, huh? I always knew you were a lazy sod.”

“Shut up!”

“I’ll be quiet when you learn to wake up before the sun rises.”

“It’s no wonder nobody likes you,” John grunted, eyes flying open to find Arthur dropping his hat on his face.

“Does it look like your opinions matter to me, John Marston? Now wake the hell up before I make sure you never wake up again.”

“Always with the threats,” John’s feet touched the grass as he willed himself awake, “You ever try bein’ nice to people?”

“Last time I was nice to somebody I ended up in jail.”

“That doesn’t say much, considerin’ we’re always runnin’ from the law.”

Arthur whistled for his horse, patting her gently when she trotted over obediently. “Now, that’s a good girl.”

“Ah, still probably ain’t worth it to be nice to you.” Arthur whistled for his horse, patting her gently when she trotted over obediently. “Now, that’s a good girl.”

John sighed as he put his boots on, then put on his dark overcoat. He walked over to his own horse, pulling a carrot out of his coat and feeding the animal. “Oh, what a good girl.”

“You mocking me, Johnny boy?”

John instantly saw red, but kept his emotions in check long enough to mount his horse and follow Arthur to his destination, wherever the hell that was. The truth was, he never knew where he stood with Arthur. One minute, they were like best friends, working together - protecting each other - completely on the same page. And the next, he was listening to Arthur’s incessant poking and prodding, pinpointing all the little things about John that John couldn’t stand about himself. He couldn’t get a read on him sometimes, and it was beginning to drive him nuts. He’d think that after twenty years of Arthur’s bullcrap, he’d be used to it by now.

Maybe he was just a weak son of a bitch.

Or maybe, he was just sensitive to Arthur’s provocations because he longed for his approval. He’d been the apple of Dutch’s eye since they found him, but even as a kid he knew he wasn’t Dutch’s first son. The golden boy, at least to John, was Arthur. And Arthur was the one he always wanted to impress. As a child, he sought the approval of the older boy by following him around everywhere, wanting to learn everything that Arthur could do, just like him. As an older man now, he just wanted his respect. So he did as he was told. Hell, he thought, he’d probably die for Arthur ten times over, if it meant that Arthur would see him as an equal.

But it felt like Arthur always kept his respect a feather out of reach.

“You’re awfully quiet back there. The wolves get your tongue, too?”

“Why are you always screwin’ with me, Morgan? Don’t you have anything better to do? Why do you always call me for help on a job when it seems like you can’t even stand me half the time? Why don’t you get Charles, or-or Lenny to-”

“Shut your goddamn mouth, John, we’re here.” Arthur dismounted his horse, setting it at a picket just outside of Valentine. The sun was rising above the trees, painting the sky in gorgeous pink and orange hues. John settled his horse beside Arthur’s and leaned against the nearest tree, wondering what in the hell this was all about.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, John picking at the grass bordering the tree. He should have taken comfort in the refreshing breeze blowing through the town, but his stomach was full of anxiety. He knew Arthur had reasons for doing the things he did, so he didn’t like to ask more than once. But Arthur was silent, and it was beginning to rub him the wrong way.

Just before John opened his mouth, Arthur stirred, picking himself up. “They’re here.”

“Who’s here?” John asked, already irritated at Arthur’s silence up until this point.

“The book wagon, John. The book wagon.” Sure enough, John heard the faint sound of clopping hooves on dirt road, the wagon coming into view.

John scowled. “Book wagon? You woke me up before sunrise so we could rob a book wagon?”

“Not rob it, you dumb bastard.” Arthur scoffed. “It’s for the kid, John. For Jack.”

“There you go, pretending to be his father again,” John quipped, “You sure the kid ain’t yours?”

John was held up by the lapels of his coat and slammed against the tree before he could even speak another word. Arthur’s eyes were bright with anger, his jaw clenched tight beneath his cowboy hat. Though John feared for his life in that moment, he couldn’t help but notice just how picturesque Arthur looked. It was damn near distracting, in a moment where he should have been completely focused on finding a way to tame the man’s wrath.

“I’m gettin’ real tired of you runnin’ your mouth, boy. The fact of the matter is, I wouldn’t have anything to do with the kid if you’d just man up. Even if he weren’t yours -hell, even if the kid was mine- you love Abigail, don’t you?”

John struggled to speak. “Y-yeah, I do.” He gasped.

“Then what the hell are we even talkin’ about this for? Do right by her son, and you do right by her. Don’t make me have to say this again.” Arthur set John down, mounting back on his horse and heading towards the book wagon. “Reasons as to why I brought you along was so you could take the credit. You think I want your kid likin’ me more ‘n he likes you?”

John swallowed, feeling like a real piece of shit. All Arthur ever did was try to help him be better, and John was always second-guessing his intentions. It was wrong, and unfair. But he could never tell Arthur that.

“What kind of books should we get him?”

Arthur smiled at him, and it damn near took John’s breath away. “I was hopin’ you could tell me.”

***

“Anything else you need from town, sir?”

“Nothin’ you could buy me in a store, son. You be careful.”

“I will.”

“You sure you don’t wanna take Uncle with you? I sure would appreciate it.”

“Ah, I don’t think that’d be a good idea, sir. What if he gets into a fight at the saloon?”

“I guess you’re right, Jack. Well, I tried.” John shrugged, patted the horses, made sure they were hitched correctly to the wagon. “Go on.”

“I’ll see you in a couple hours, sir.”

“Good luck.”

John watched his son drive away, hoping to whoever was up in the sky that his son would make it back home safe. It was the first time since Abigail left that he felt at ease enough to let Jack go anywhere by himself. Truth be told, he was afraid. Afraid that Jack would leave one day and never come back. Just like Abigail. Just like the gang. Just like...Arthur.

“Where’s the kid?” Uncle grunted, taking a swig from his bottle.

“None of your damn business. Now come help me with the herd, would ya? I’m sick of you not earnin’ your keep around here.”

“Now wait just a minute-”

Goddamn, John rolled his eyes. He won’t shut up the rest of the morning. This is what I get for antagonizing the man. “You know what, Uncle? You go ahead and rest. I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Well,” Uncle grinned. “If you insist.”

“Oh, I insist.”

“All right then, Marston.”

John spent the whole morning out on the ranch, repairing his fence where one of the more belligerent bulls had rammed through. After finishing with that, he took a small break under the shade of the tree that looked over Abigail’s garden, wondering where in the hell his life went wrong. He thought Abigail was happy all these years, slavin’ away by his side, watching their little ranch grow into something respectable.

Must not have been good enough.

He sighed quietly to himself. Oddly, her leaving didn’t feel like the end of the world. When she packed up and left, it was just the icing on the cake of a life he screwed up all on his own. It was the last consequence in a series of consequences that were well deserved, from what he could tell.

Oh, Arthur. If you could see me now. Some life you saved.

Arthur Morgan. The only person in his life who didn’t leave out of selfishness. Quite the opposite, really.

John’s nose flared, his body unable to handle reliving old memories. Thinking about Arthur only made him into a mess. In all these years, he’d found and reacquainted himself with all of his friends. Charles and Uncle helped him build the ranch from the ground up, when it was just some backwater piece of crap halfway between Strawberry and Blackwater. Sadie helped him find work (of dubious means), and he even found Mr. Pearson working in Rhodes when he had to deliver a bounty there one day. He spent the night at his house, and even had some of Pearson’s famous beef stew. He definitely didn’t miss it one bit. Lenny he heard was up north, had started a good life with Tilly Jackson. They were partners and owners of a hotel and saloon. Mary Beth, he found working in a law office as some sort of secretary clerk. She told him she was thinking of writing a book about their adventures.

Adventures. Made it sound like they were heroes on a journey. He scoffed. Dutch sure thought that’s what they were. “Dutch weren’t no hero,” he whispered to himself. “And neither am I.” But Arthur was.

All these years, he managed to find all of the friends he had left.

Except Arthur.

And he wasn’t going to.

***

John woke to the sound of Jack approaching in the wagon. He wiped the sleep off his face, disgusted to find that his hands were covered in dirt from sleeping underneath a tree outside. Wiping his hands off on his work pants, he met Jack in front of the house, surprised to find him not alone.

“Hey, pop,” Jack embraced him. John was surprised at the greeting, his son not being one to hug often, or have any physical contact with anyone. He was a quiet kid. But John was weary of the man moving quietly in the shadows of the wagon. “You’ll never guess who I found.”

“Yeah? Who is it?”

“Johnny Marston.”

John’s face went white and his fingers went numb, a cold shiver roaming up his spine. The broad-shouldered man dressed all in black had his face hidden beneath his hat, but he knew that smirk. That stubbled jawline. The leaning of his body, and the hand at his belt buckle. And it nearly swept John off his damn feet.

“Arthur.”

“Come here, you dumb bastard.” He pulled John into a tight hug, and for the first time in a long time John felt like he didn’t have to watch over his shoulder, like he didn’t have to worry about every little thing, like everything that ever mattered in this world was right here, standing in front of him. And yet… he had to know. He had to know how. But first, he was going to revel in the feeling of Arthur’s warmth, his tender embrace absolutely bein’ the thing he needed in this moment.

When Arthur pulled away, he gave John a look like he was waiting on John to say something. Anything. John cleared his throat, realizing he had to play the part of man-of-the-house. “You want to come in?”

Arthur bit his lip, eyes bright with an emotion John couldn’t figure out. “Sure.”

#rdr2 spoilers #arthur morgan x john marston #john marston #arthur morgan #rdr2 #my fics #mine #y'all i'm a Mess

29 notes · View notes

amtopmthoughts · 6 years ago

Text

OSCARS

Legenda:

Legenda - Winners I have watched

Legenda - Winners I don’t know of

Legenda - Winners I know of

Legenda - Nominees I have watched

Legenda - Nominees I don’t know of

Legenda - Nominees I know of

1927/28

BEST MOVIE

Wings

The Racket

7th Heaven

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Janet Gaynor:

for her role as Diane Angela, The Wife in 7th Heaven and Street Angel Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans

Louise Dresser:

for her role as Mrs. Pleznik in A Ship Comes In

Gloria Swanson:

for her role as Sadie Thompson in Sadie Thompson

1928/29

BEST MOVIE

The Broadway Melody

Alibi

Hollywood Revue

In Old Arizona

The Patriot

= 0

Mary Pickford:

for her role as Norma Besant in Coquette

Ruth Chatterton:

for her role as Jacqueline Floriot in Madame X

Betty Compson:

for her role as Carrie in The Barker

Jeanne Eagels:

for her role as Leslie Crosbie in The Letter

Corinne Griffith:

for her role as Emma Hamilton in The Divine Lady

Bessie Love:

for her role as Hank Mahoney in The Broadway Melody

1929/30

BEST MOVIE

All Quiet on the Western Front

The Big House

Disraeli

The Divorcee

The Love Parade

= 0

Norma Shearer:

for her role as Jerry Bernard Martin in The Divorcee

Nancy Carroll:

for her role as Hallie Hobart in The Devil’s Holiday

Ruth Chatterton:

for her role as Sarah Storm in Sarah and Son

Greta Garbo:

for her role as Anna Christie/Madame Rita Cavallini in Anna Christie Romance

Norma Shearer:

for her role as Lucia Marlett in Their Own Desire

Gloria Swanson:

for her role as Marion Donnell in The Trespasser

1930/31

BEST MOVIE

Cimarron

East Lynne

The Front Page

Skippy

Trader Horn

= 0

Marie Dressler:

for her role as Min Divot in Min and Bill

Marlene Dietrich:

for her role as Mademoiselle Amy Jolly in Morocco

Irene Dunne:

for her role as Sabra Cravat in Cimarron

Ann Harding:

for her role as Linda Seton in Holiday

Norma Shearer:

for her role as Jan Ashe in A Free Soul

1931/32

BEST MOVIE

Grand Hotel

Arrowsmith

Bad Girl

The Champ

Five Star Final

One Hour with You

Shanghai Express

The Smiling Lieutenant

= 0

Helen Hayes:

for her role as Madelon Claudet in The Sin of Madelon Claudet

Marie Dressler:

for her role as Emma Thatcher Smith in Emma

Lynn Fontanne:

for her role as The Actress in The Guardsman

1932/33

BEST MOVIE

Cavalcade

42nd Street

A Farewell to Arms

I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang

Lady for a Day

Little Women

The Private Life of Henry VIII

She Done Him Wrong

Smilin’ Through

State Fair

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Katharine Hepburn:

for her role as Eva Lovelace in Morning Glory

May Robson:

for her role as Apple Annie in Lady for a Day

Diana Wynyard:

for her role as Jane Marryot in Cavalcade

1934

BEST MOVIE

It Happened One Night

The Barretts of Wimpole Street

Cleopatra

Flirtation Walk

The Gay Divorcee

Here Comes the Navy

The House of Rothschild

Imitation of Life

One Night of Life

The Thin Man

Viva Villa!

The White Parade

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Claudette Colbert:

for her role as Ellie Andrews in It Happened One Night

Grace Moore:

for her role as Mary Barrett in One Night of Love

Norma Shearer:

for her role as Elizabeth Barrett in The Barrett of Wimpole Street

Bette Davis:

for her role as Mildred Rogers in Of Human Bondage

1935

BEST MOVIE

Munity on the Bounty

Alice Adams

Broadway Melody of 1936

Captain Blood

David Copperfield

The Informer

The Lives of a Bengal Lancer

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Les Misérables

Naughty Marietta

Rugs of Red Gap

Top Hat

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Bette Davis:

for her role as Joyce Heath in Dangerous

Elisabeth Bergner:

for her role as Gemma Jones in Escape Me Never

Claudette Colbert:

for her role as Jane Everest in Private Words

Katharine Hepburn:

for her role as Alice Adams in Alice Adams

Miriam Hopkins:

for her role as Becky Sharp in Becky Sharp

Merle Oberon:

for her role as Kitty Vane in The Dark Angel

1936

BEST MOVIE

The Great Ziegfeld

Anthony Adverse

Dodsworth

Libeled Lady

Mr. Deeds Goes to Town

Romeo and Juliet

San Francisco

The Story of Louis Pasteur

A Tale of Two Cities

Three Smart Girls

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Luise Rainer:

for her role as Anna Held in The Great Ziegfeld

Irene Dunne:

for her role as Theodora Lynn in Theodora Goes Wild

Gladys George:

for her role as Carrie Snyder in Valiant is the Word for Carrie

Carole Lombard:

for her role as Irene Bullock in My Man Godfey

Norma Shearer:

for her role as Juliet Capulet in Romeo and Juliet

1937

BEST MOVIE

The Life of Emile Zola

The Awful Truth

Captain Courageous

Dead End

The Good Earth

In Old Chicago

Lost Horizon

One Hundred Men and a Girl

Stage Door

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Luise Rainer:

for her role as O-Lan in The Good Earth

Irene Dunne:

for her role as Lucy Warriner in The Awful Truth

Greta Garbo:

for her role as Marguerite Gautier in Camille

Janet Gaynor:

for her role as Esther Victoria Blodgett/Vicki Lester in A Star is Born

Barbara Stanwyck:

for her role as Stella Martin Dallas in Stella Dallas

1938

BEST MOVIE

You Can’t Take It With You

The Adventures of Robin Hood

Alexander’s Ragtime Band

Boys Town

The Citadel

Four Daughters

Grand Illusion

Jezebel

Pygmalion

Test Pilot

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Bette Davis:

for her role as Julie Marsden in Jezebel

Fay Bainter:

for her role as Hannah Parmalee in White Banners

Wendy Hiller:

for her role as Eliza Doolittle in Pygmalion

Norma Shearer:

for her role as Marie Antoinette in Marie Antoinette

Margaret Sullavan:

for her role as Patricia “Pat” Hollmann in Three Comrades

1939

BEST MOVIE

Gone With The Wind

Dark Victory

Goodbye, Mr. Chips

Love Affair

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Ninotchka

Of Mice and Men

Stagecoach

The Wizard of Oz

Wuthering Heights

= 0

BEST ACTRESS

Vivien Leigh:

for her role as Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind

Bette Davis:

for her role as Judith Traherne in Dark Victory

Irene Dunne:

for her role as Terry McKay in Love Affair

Greta Garbo:

for her role as Nina Yakushnova “Ninotchka” Ivanoff” in Ninotchka

Greer Garson:

for her role as Katherine Bridges in Goodbye, Mr. Chips

1940

BEST MOVIE

Rebecca

All This, and Heaven Too

Foreign Correspondent

The Grapes of Wrath

The Great Dictator

Kitty Foyle

The Letter

The Long Voyage Home

Our Town

The Philadelphia Story

= 0

BEST ACTRESS:

Ginger Rogers:

for her role as Kitty Foyle in Kitty Foyle

Bette Davis:

for her role as Leslie Crosbie in The Letter

Joan Fontaine:

for her role as The Second Mrs. de Winter in Rebecca

Katharine Hepburn:

for her role as Tracy Lord in The Philadelphia Story

Martha Scott:

for her role as Emily Webb in Our Town

1941

BEST MOVIE

How Green Was My Valley

Blossoms in the Dust

Citizen Kane

Here Comes Mr. Jordan

Hold Back the Dawn

The Little Foxes

The Maltese Falcon

One Foot in Heaven

Sargeant York

Suspicion

= 0

BEST ACTRESS:

Joan Fontaine:

for her role as Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth in Suspicion

Bette Davis:

for her role as Regina Giddens, The Little Foxes

Olivia de Havilland:

Emmy Brown, Hold Back the Dawn

Greer Garson, Blossoms in the Dust

Barbara Stanwyck, Ball of Fire

1942

BEST MOVIE

Mrs. Miniver

The Invaders

Kings Row

The Magnificent Ambersons

The Pied Piper

The Pride of the Yankees

Random Harvest

The Talk of the Town

Wake Island

Yankee Doodle Dandy

= 0

BEST ACTRESS:

Greer Garson, Mrs. Miniver

Bette Davis, Now, Voyager

Katharine Hepburn, Woman of the Year

Rosalind Russel, My Sister Eileen

Teresa Wright, The Pride of the Yankees

1943

BEST MOVIE

Casablanca

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Heaven Can Wait

The Human Comedy

In Which We Serve

Madame Curie

The More the Merrier

The Ox-Bow Incident

The Song of Bernadette

Watch on the Rhine

= 0

BEST ACTRESS:

Jennifer Jones, The Song of Bernadette

Jean Arthur, The More the Merrier

Ingrid Bergman, For Whom the Bell Tolls

Joan Fontaine, The Constant Nymph

Greer Garson, Madame Curie

1944

BEST MOVIE

Going My Way

Double Indemnity

Gaslight

Since You Went Away

Wilson

= 0

BEST ACTRESS:

Ingrid Bergman, Gaslight

Claudette Colbert, Since You Went Away

1945

BEST MOVIE

The Lost Weekend

Anchors Aweigh

The Bells of St. Mary’s

Mildred Pierce

Spellbound

= 0

1946

BEST MOVIE

The Best Years of Our Lives

Henry V

= 0

1947

BEST MOVIE

Gentleman’s Agreement

The Bishop’s Wife

Crossfire

Great Expectations

Miracle on 34th Street

= 0

1948

BEST MOVIE

Hamlet

Johnny Belinda

The Red Shoes

The Snake Pit

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

= 0

1949

BEST MOVIE

All the King’s Men

Battleground

The Heiress

A Letter to Three Wives

Twelve O’Clock High

= 0

1950

BEST MOVIE

All About Eve

Born Yesterday

Father of the Bride

King Solomon’s Mines

Sunset Boulevard

= 0

1951

BEST MOVIE

An American In Paris

Decision Before Dawn

A Place in the Sun

Quo Vadis

A Streetcar Named Desire

= 0

1952

BEST MOVIE

The Greatest Show on Earth

High Noon

Ivanhoe

Moulin Rouge

The Quiet Man

= 0

1953

BEST MOVIE

From Here to Eternity

Julius Caesar

The Robe

Roman Holiday

Shane

= 1

1954

BEST MOVIE

On The Waterfront

The Caine Mutiny

The Country Girl

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Three Coins in the Fountain

= 0

1955

BEST MOVIE

Marty

Love is a Many-Splendored Thing

Mister Roberts

Picnic

The Rose Tattoo

= 0

1956

BEST MOVIE

Around the World in 80 Days

Friendly Persuasion

Giant

The King and I

The Ten Commandments

= 0

1957

BEST MOVIE

The Bridge On The River Kwai

12 Angry Men

Peyton Place

Sayonara

Witness for the Prosecution

= 0

1958

BEST MOVIE

Gigi

Auntie Mame

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

The Defiant Ones

Separate Tables

= 0

1959

BEST MOVIE

Ben-Hur

Anatomy of a Murder

The Diary of Anne Frank

The Nun’s Story

Room at the Top

= 0

1960

BEST MOVIE

The Apartment

The Alamo

Elmer Gantry

Sons and Lovers

The Sundowners

= 0

1961

BEST MOVIE

West Side Story

Fanny

The Guns of Navarone

The Hustler

Judgment at Nuremberg

= 1

1962

BEST MOVIE

Lawrence of Arabia

The Longest Day

The Music Man

Mutiny on the Bounty

To Kill a Mockingbird

= 0

1963

BEST MOVIE

Tom Jones

America America

Cleopatra

How the West Was Won

Lilies of the Field

= 0

1964

BEST MOVIE

My Fair Lady

Becket

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Mary Poppins

Zorba the Greek

= 1

1965

BEST MOVIE

The Sound of Music

Darling

Doctor Zhivago

Ship of Fools

A Thousand Clowns

= 1

1966

BEST MOVIE

A Man for All Seasons

Alfie

The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming

The Sand Pebbles

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf

= 0

1967

BEST MOVIE

In the Heat of the Night

Bonnie and Clyde

Doctor Dolittle

The Graduate

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

= 0

1968

Oliver!

Funny Girl

The Lion in Winter

Rachel, Rachel

Romeo and Juliet

= 1

1969

BEST MOVIE

Midnight Cowboy

Anne of the Thousand Days

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Hello, Dolly!

= 0

1970

BEST MOVIE

Patton

Airport

Five Easy Pieces

Love Story

M*A*S*H

= 0

1971

BEST MOVIE

The French Connection

A Clockwork Orange

Fiddler on the Roof

The Last Picture

Nicholas and Alexandra

= 0

1972

BEST MOVIE

The Godfather

Cabaret

Deliverance

The Emigrants

Sounder

= 0

1973

BEST MOVIE

The Sting

American Graffitti

Cries and Whispers

The Exorcist

A Touch of Class

= 0

1974

BEST MOVIE

The Godfather Part II

Chinatown

The Conversation

Lenny

The Towering Inferno

= 0

1975

BEST MOVIE

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Barry Lyndon

Dog Day Afternoon

Jaws

Nashville

= 0

1976

BEST MOVIE

Rocky

All the President’s Men

Bound for Glory

Network

Taxi Driver

= 0

1977

BEST MOVIE

Annie Hall

The Goodbye Girl

Julia

Star Wars

The Turning Point

= 0

1978

BEST MOVIE

The Deer Hunter

Coming Home

Heaven Can Wait

Midnight Express

An Unmarried Woman

= 0

1979

BEST MOVIE

Kraver vs. Kramer

All That Jazz

Apocalypse Now

Breaking Away

Norma Rae

= 1

1980

BEST MOVIE

Ordinary People

Coal Miner’s Daughter

The Elephant Man

Raging Bull

Tess

= 0

1981

BEST MOVIE

Chariots of Fire

Atlantic City

On Golden Pond

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Reds

= 0

1982

BEST MOVIE

Ghandi

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Missing

Tootsie

The Verdict

= 1

1983

BEST MOVIE

Terms of Endearment

The Big Chill

The Dresser

The Right Stuff

Tender Mercies

= 0

1984

BEST MOVIE

Amadeus

The Killing Fields

A Passage to India

Places in the Heart

A Soldier’s Story

= 0

1985

BEST MOVIE

Out of Africa

The Color Purple

Kiss of the Spider Woman

Prizzi’s Honor

Witness

= 0

1986

BEST MOVIE

Platoon

Children of a Lesser God

Hannah and Her Sisters

The Mission

A Room with a View

= 0

1987

BEST MOVIE

The Last Emperor

Broadcast News

Fatal Attraction

Hope and Glory

Moonstruck

= 2

1988

BEST MOVIE

Rain Man

The Accidental Tourist

Dangerous Liaisons

Mississipi Burning

Working Girl

= 0

1989

BEST MOVIE

Driving Miss Daisy

Born on the Fourth of July

Dead Poets Society

Field of Dreams

My Left Foot

= 1

1990

BEST MOVIE

Dances with Wolves

Awakenings

Ghost

The Godfather III

Goodfellas

= 1

1991

BEST MOVIE

The Silence of the Lambs

Beauty and the Beast

Bugsy

JFK

The Prince of Tides

= 1

1992

BEST MOVIE

Unforgiven

The Crying Game

A Few Good Men

Howards End

Scent of a Woman

= 0

1993

BEST MOVIE

Schindler’s List

The Fugitive

In the Name of the Father

The Piano

The Remains of the Day

= 1

1994

BEST MOVIE

Forrest Gump

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Pulp Fiction

Quiz Show

The Shawshank Redemption

= 3

1995

BEST MOVIE

Braveheart

Apollo 13

Babe

The Postman (Il Postino)

Sense and Sensibility

= 4

1996

BEST MOVIE

The English Patient

Fargo

Jerry McGuire

Secrets & Lies

Shine

= 0

1997

BEST MOVIE

Titanic

As Good as it Gets

The Full Monty

Good Will Hunting

L.A. Confidential

= 3

1998

BEST MOVIE

Shakespeare in Love

Elizabeth

Life is Beautiful

Saving Private Ryan

The Thin Red Line

= 3

1999

BEST MOVIE

American Beauty

The Cider House Rules

The Green Mile

The Insider

The Sixth Sense

= 1

2000

BEST MOVIE

Gladiator

Chocolat

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Erin Brokovich

Traffic

= 3

2001

BEST MOVIE

A Beautiful Mind

Gosfrod Park

In the Bedroom

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Moulin Rouge!

= 1

2002

BEST MOVIE

Chicago

Gangs of New York

The Hours

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

The Pianist

= 1

2003

BEST MOVIE

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Lost in Translation

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Mystic River

Seabiscuit

= 0

2004

BEST MOVIE

Million Dollar Baby

The Aviator

Finding Neverland

Ray

Sideways

= 1

2005

BEST MOVIE

Crash

Brokeback Mountain

Capote

Good Night, and Good Luck

Munich

= 0

2006

BEST MOVIE

The Departed

Babel

Letters from Iwo Jima

Little Miss Sunshine

The Queen

= 2

2007

BEST MOVIE

No Country for Old Men

Atonement

Juno

Michael Clayton

There Will Be Blood

= 1

2008

BEST MOVIE

Slumdog Millionaire

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Frost/Nixon

Milk

The Reader

= 1

2009

BEST MOVIE

The Hurt Locker

Avatar

The Blind Side

District 9

An Education

Inglorious Basterds

Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Saphire

A Serious Man

Up in the Air

= 4

2010

BEST MOVIE

The King’s Speech

127 Hours

Black Swan

The Fighter

Inception

The Kids Are All Right

The Social Network

Toy Story 3

True Grit

Winter’s Bone

= 5

2011

BEST MOVIE

The Artist

The Descendants

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

The Help

Hugo

Midnight in Paris

Moneyball

The Tree of Life

War Horse

= 3

2012

BEST MOVIE

Argo

Amour

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Django Unchained

Les Miserábles

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Silver Linings Playbook

Zero Dark Thirty

= 4

2013

BEST MOVIE

12 Years a Slave

American Hustle

Captain Philips

Dallas Buyers Club

Gravity

Her

Nebraska

Philomena

The Wolf of Wall Street

= 4

2014

BEST MOVIE

Birdman

American Sniper

Boyhood

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Selma

The Theory of Everything

Whiplash

= 2

2015

BEST MOVIE

Spotlight

The Big Short

Bridge of Spies

Brooklyn

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

The Revenant

Room

= 3

BEST ACTRESS:

Brie Larson, Room

Cate Blanchett, Carol

Jennifer Lawrence, Joy

Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years

Saoirse, Brooklyn

2016

BEST MOIVE

Moonlight

La La Land

Arrival

Fences

Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

Hidden Figures

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

= 5

BEST ACTRESS:

Emma Stone, La La Land

Isabelle Huppert, Elle

Ruth Negga, Loving

Natalie Portman, Jackie

Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

2017

BEST MOVIE

The Shape of Water

Lady Bird

Call Me by Your Name

Get Out

Darkest Hour

Dunkirk

Phantom Thread

The Post

Three Billboards Outside Ebbig, Missouri

= 4

BEST ACTRESS:

Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water

Margot Robbie, I, Tonya

Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird

Meryl Streep, The Post

TOTAL = 71/

7 notes · View notes

cup-and-chaucer · 2 years ago

Text

One Thought About Each Book I Read This Year

Book Stats: 47 (possibly 48?) books; 60% fiction; 40% non-fiction; 57% female-identifying authors; 12.7% in translation

Sex with Shakespeare by Jillian Keenan: This woman gets me; like, yes, I too have figured out everything from grief to sexuality through shakespeare.

Galatea by Madeline Miller: sometimes we all need to write a caffeine-fueled one-shot piece of fanfic at 2am and some of us have access to professional publishers

I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell: Like every Maggie O'Farrell book, I read this, love this, cried at it, and no longer remember what it was about.

Hour of the Witch by Chris Bojalian: I wanted to bite everyone in this book. And not in a sexy way.

The Mirror and the Light by Hilary Mantel: A tale of what happens when the gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss meme reaches its final form.

Notes from the Underground by Fyodor Dostoyevsky: Why I decided to read this when I was so depressed I could barely shower I don't know but I did and it didn't help. 10/10 read though.

Little Weirds by Jenny Slate: A book that is maybe bad but maybe saved my life.

The Testament of Mary by Colm Toibin: oh but this was an interesting one--a refocus on Mary as a mother.

Nomadland by Jessica Bruder: Important topic, bad execution.

Bolla by Pajtim Statovici: this man took every trigger warning that has ever existed and called it a book; jesus christ, my guy. nihilism is just exhausting

This is Water by David Foster Wallace: I loved this! So important!

A Practical Christianity by Jane Shaw: Fine.

The Good Lord Bird by James McBride: Mixed feelings! I'm glad I read it and will never read again; also frederick douglass wasn't a pedophile. i just. for the record.

This Will All Be Over Soon by Cecily Strong: I thought this was a beautiful book and I'm so glad I got to meet Owen through these pages.

How The Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill: LOL not great history but a GREAT read.

Sprit Run by Noe Alvarez: This was. Not Good. I'm sorry. I was rooting for you.

Tyrant by Stephen Greenblatt: This will be remembered not for being a great book on Shakespeare but for being an artifact of its time and that's alright with me actually.

Snow, Glass, Apples by Neil Gaiman: Fun rainy night read.

Gentleman Jack by Anna Choma; One of my favorites of the year and now I'm horny for a dead woman. Again.

Fludd by Hilary Mantel: I love nuns that spontaneously burst into flame too, hilary.

Blood Water Paint by Joy McCollough: NO

The Abolition of Man & The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis: I'm going to be honest with you, I skimmed The Abolition of Man but the Great Divorce maybe altered my brain chemistry or at least gave me a framework for my brain chemistry to exist

The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker: If you read this book and don't like this book, I'm going to bite you. Once again, not in a sexy way.

Bluets by Maggie Nelson: What a wonderful little volume about love and loss and color.

Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan: I liked this so much more than I thought I was going to! I would totally read more of her c.s. lewis fanfiction

The Education of an Idealist by Samantha Power: I have a crush on Samantha Power. also, a good introduction to the ideas behind liberal interventionism and the obama administration's foreign policy trajectory

The True Tragedie of Richard III by Thomas Legge: This made me laugh out loud multiple times.

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry: a group of lovely characters looking at fOsSiLs. everyone in this book is precious to me.

If We Were Villians by M.L. Rio: guys, it's just a mystery novel and a rather unremarkable one at that.

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis: I mean what is there to say. beautiful.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata: i really want to go to a convenience store in japan.

All the Feels by Olivia Dade: the most heterosexual novel ever

House of Names by Colm Toibin: the first third of this is gorgeous and the last 2/3s are hot garbage

The Lost Daughter by Elena Ferrante: I need to call my mom both more and less.

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeannette McCurdy: what a back to back reading experience and i am also glad her mom is dead?!?!?!?!?

Disfigured by Amanda LeDuc: I wanted to like this so, so much and I am so, so sorry that I didn't

Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown: I wish i had this woman's body count.

Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage by Alan Lansing: THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE NARRATIVE NON FICTION THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT

White Nights by Fyodor Dostoyevsky: Lovely.

Orwell's Roses by Rebecca Solnit: meandering. gorgeous. impactful. nonsensical.

Deathless by Cathrynne M. Valente: it has been probably the book that has impacted my writing the most this year; people underestimate the power of this book, i think

I Was Better Last Night by Harvey Fierstein: i learned a lot about fierstein in this book but mostly about how you must fail to create art

Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman: now a sigyn/angroboda/loki shipper. i'm sorry, they rule my brain now.

Milk Fed by Melissa Brouder: JUSTICE FOR MIRIAM

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman: Who knew that Jesus having an evil twin could produce the most boring book ever

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle: Calvin O'Keefe IS the reason I am still single.

The Swallowed Man by Edward Carey: You need to read the dedication to understand this book.

#2022 in books

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rougedraconteur · 5 years ago

Text

The man is beautiful, like an expensive box of handmade chocolates with custom creamy fillings, meant to enjoy and savor and moan over, because, he is delicious. But we get this all in excess, and gorge ourselves sick over too much “rich bitch lux” every time one of these photoshoots comes out, with an “interview,” as they gaslight us on one hand and distract us with Too much pretty on the other.

(And don’t forget the music video from the whorehouse, oops I mean bar. THAT, seemed tragique, like Satine performing for her Controlling Count, in decadently seedy surroundings, but sending the siren’s call on the wind in search of other ears. Desperado, are you kidding me? Is this a joke? Is it for real? Is anyone really listening? no? Ah, well, such is my gilded cage existence).

But for more and more of us, it just becomes, dare I say it...boring. Unfulfilling in its vacuousness. Slightly sickening as we get too much sugar and nothing filling. And sadly empty. Like he’s not THERE, there. Look at other celebs that seem like their lives are one hedonistic moment after another, all for the front page, or the Met Ball. They don’t feel good emotionally to follow right now, because we don’t need their rich people problems when ours are all too real. That was our collective existence for far too long. This is a new reality, calling for a new vision. If only his team was smart enough to know that.

Yes, I could look at him forever, he is a beautiful muse, breathtaking but his “voice” has been drowned by his manufactured image, so that all that remains, for his fans, anyway, is this gorgeous shell. And THAT, having gotten so much more from him in the way back world, is extremely irritating and leaves me angry and unsettled, things I don’t want or need right now, and which could lead many of his more mature and grounded fans to reject him outright. (nuthin’ to do with physical age, more about emotional age.) Sounds like the interviewer had a great convo with him, and even hinted at it, damn you that privilege, but we got none of it, only the same shoveled shit dumped in our heads. screw you, NY Post.

I got my fill of this years ago, and it is making me numb to his many charms. Give me one paragraph of real, cut the crap, and drop those damn pricetags, Madame Antoinette. Unless you are trolling to the one percenters, are trying to catch their eye, Moulin Rouge, this is a fail for fandom, as you keep hollowing out his core followers you run a risk of collapsing his career. Beauty fades, shallow people are fickle, and this all feels like fiddling while Rome burns. Since the team that regurgitates this vomit lacks substance, they don’t seem capable of creating new content with some meat on it without destroying the house of cards that is his public persona.

What I need right now is some seriously subversive and solidly soulful sharing. I need a sense of humor and strong survival instincts, and examples of real heroes lighting a lamp. This is a scary reality, and I need a champion to help me envision a brave new world, not a coquette swathed in laces and silk wallowing in an old one. I need some meat and potatoes, mac and cheese, apple pie homey comfort that we have the balls And the gd sense of stubborn dark humor to make it through this, eat something real food, hug the pets and kids, scrub down the shelter spaces, make something homemade out of yarn and tinfoil and gingham and plaid that is less than perfect but strangely satisfying, believe in magic but grab your tool belt and glue gun kind of guy, make your own destiny kind of guy, not chocolates on a silver platter and cake on crystal and designer everything made with Grand Marnier decadence straight douche mocking me.

I need some Colfer comfort.

Can’t help but think yesterday’s photo shoot and AWposts are to distract from how D’s been perceived in the last few days.

And the fandom is distracted so easily when he looks pretty.

Did someone say ‘squirrel’

#rougedraconteur #i need to go to work #and to the grocery store #with my mask and gloves #real world problems #colfercomfort

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