#apparently they share the same VAs too damn

[arnenth]

JUJUTSU LOCK

[greml1nb0i]

Hazbin Hotel Rewrite [WIP- this is copy and pasted from my docs; this is old but i wanted to share it anyway]

Rewrite the Characters:

Original +opinions (ooo~ Spicy) :

Charlie - Princess of Hell, Daughter of Lucifer. Sheltered and Cheery.

  I hate that she’s just Disney Princess coded. They could have used the whole sheltered route well but TBF we don't see that either.  We see a weird rendition of that where everyone forgives her for her terrible actions but yet other characters like Husk and Angel Dust are somehow held to a higher sense of accountability for their actions?!

  I also don’t believe whoever raised Charlie could keep her away from the ever growing and changing landscape of Hell. Like if you're going to be a Princess of anything its really important for the next heir to be well acquainted with their kingdom's landscape and history. At the very least talk to the locals and commonwealth. 

 Her design is...ok. It didn't change much from the pilot but tbh i liked her Pilot design, I feel like it makes sense for her to wear hints of red and white, but i wish they added more than just red, i feel like black or gold would have been better or even purple for Biblical accuracy of Pride.

Vaggie - Girlfriend to Charlie and protector of the Hotel, ex-Exorcist. 

 Why did they change the lore? Also why does it feel like the VA hated being there or was just given 0 directions. She sounds dull and plain except for when she’s sounding like she’s angry, which is 99.98% Of Vaggie’s emotions.

  That, an amnesia apparently?! How does vaggie not remember the very weapon that cut out her FUCKING EYE that still makes no sense, like how tf her and Lucifer and even Husk have wings, if wings are going to be used for ANY character why make them seem important to Vaggie when Husk literally has wings, and Lucifer the supposed ��fallen Angel” STILL HAS HIS?! Like why? How does this make sense? 

Angel - FemBoy, Sex worker. Deals in Self destruction, self loathing and deep depression while also being flirty and promiscuous. Was in a Mafia family. 1940s timeline. 

 Trauma porn character and just a bunch of gay men stereotypes. As a survivor, his story doesn't hit the way its meant to. There's a good and bad way to show SA and Abuse and while they did it “eh” (im saying this loosely) at first, they were completely unrealistic and downright infantilizing at the end.

  There's no way someone who just went through a beating, an having to almost get drugged and dragged out of bar, is going to forgive the same person who started the stupor in the first place- ESPECIALLY ON THE SAME NIGHT!!!!!

I FUCKING CANT WITH THESE WRITERS THINKING MENTAL HEALTH CAN BE SOLVED IN A 20 MIN EPSIODE, IS THIS A KIDS SHOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP OR AN ADULT SHOW ABOUT CARTOON DEMONS IN HELL. 

And don’t get me started on that terrible musical number, it’s just soft core rape in a cheery pop tune i fucking hate it!! It doesn't help that Raph, an SA fetishist STORYBOARDED THE DAMN SCENE

WHAT THE FUCK MEDRANO!?

Husk - Angry grump, bar keeper. Contracted to Alastor. Gambler. From the 1970 or 60. 

 The design is a character designer's worst nightmares come to life on the screen. Every furry from the early 2000s clutching their pearls in cringe. It screams “omg rawr xD uwu” era and i think we as a society are way past that, i figured a 30 something year old woman would be too.

[apparently it was her sisters OC that was put into the show, viv why?!]

Alastor - radio show host from the 30s. Cannibal. Half Creole. “Wendigo design”. Cocky and always smile but is "quite dangerous when provoked." [yea ok pal]

  An OC from middle school that should have stayed in middle school. There is a reason so many OCs from artists' early childhood don't make it into their new and growing art style. Most of the time if you keep obsessing over the same OCs you stunt yourself on growing in your art. Tumblr Sexy Man is that exact thing. I like him in concept but, if he was drawn better and actually looked like a man from the 1900s and in his 40s,(or even a half creole man; that's supposedly a Wendigo) I'd have less to complain about. His concept is good and interesting, but its not the first or the last and Alastor def isn't the first. Also give that man a haircut please!

Nifty - Japanese-American. From the 50s Obsessive and a neat freak. Camera shy but psychotic.

  I feel like this is just a racist stereotype waiting to be exposed. The “young psychotic Japanese  girl” trope is so fucking old and repetitive that i cant vibe with a character like Nifty when i know her only purpose is to be used as comedy bait. It doesn't help that Viv didn't give Nifty almost any merch! Like WOW really showing favoritism over the merch sales and that is disgusting.

Sir Pentious - British inventor. Kinda an idiot but is a brilliant machinist.

  We were robbed of a decent villain. I hate that he became part of the cast and became the first redeemed as if Angel wasn't there longer and started showing signs of Redemption sooner, like we got more Redemption scenes of Angel but like NONE of Pentious and we are supposed to believe this weird snake dude is redeemed just cuz he kissed a girl and got himself killed for nothing???? VIVZIE YOUR ASS WRITING IS ASS!!

Also he's a stolen Character...seems to be a trend for Viv..

Lucifer - King of Hell, Father of Charlie, Sin of Pride. Depressed and non-serious, deep self loathing. Complex of some sort. Short King.

 He’s fine..i guess, i mean its freaking Jeremy Jordan VA-ing him…he kind fixes whatever is wrong with Lucifer character wise. [this is for very obvious reasons a joke, while re-reading this i realized some people might not know i'm being sarcastic,oopsies] He’s a terrible character for numerous reasons. He is kinda homophobic if you really think about that “i like girls too” line and then proceeds to call her “MAGGIE”;  Lucifer feels like he is just there to satisfy Viv’s  disney esque “daddy issues” type kink she has for “tragic characters and shitty dads” type characters.

 Designs wise he trash. He looks like jeff the killer but blonde and drawn by your aunt who refused to go to art school

Cherri Bomb - Angels Friend. Arsonist. From the 60s(?). Punk rock.

 Her design is literally traced and just the Addict design…the fans are just stupid. Also i dont like the fact that Viv EXPECTED viewers of her show, to have done homework on who the fuck Cherri is, cuz if you're a new watcher, and didn't read the fucking Vivziepop Bible, you wont know who tf she if or why you should even care about her.

 Why is Angel hanging out with someone like this in the first place, You’d think because Angel is older and from a different time period he wouldn't vibe with Cherri?? But apparently Viv thinks a fem gay man from the 30s would be the best homie to a 20 yr old punk rock Aussie from the 60s, a whole 3 decades of time difference!! Tell us why and how they know each other!! How can these fundamentally very different people even vibe together!! Is it just cus "wow shared trauma of abusive lovers" cuz wow Viv.

(her entire design is also stolen soooooo~)

Mimzy - who?

This one also feels really fucking racist. Idk what it is with Viv but the jewish stereotypes of Mimzie are absolutely atrocious. 

Fix:

Charlie - [TBD]

Vaggie - [TBD]

Angel - [TBD]

Husk - [TBD]

Alastor - [TBD]

Nifty - [TBD]

Sir Pentious - [TDB]

Lucifer - 

 Was an Angel with dreams, and took part in the Creation of All Things.

   However Lucifer was too ambitious and went off course with the designs of Earth’s creatures, causing the other Angels to feel uncomfortable by him and his new creations. 

While the Angels were tolerating him, he was allowed to visit the First Human, but in doing so felt that their lack of knowledge was unfair and so in hopes of helping the other Angels see things his way, he gave the Apple of Knowledge to Adam and Lilith. 

 This didn't go as planned though, Where Lilith became kinder and more empathetic, Adam however became more uptight, and acted as if he was better than Lilith.

 Lucifer defended Lilith against Adam thus causing the Angels attention to be drawn. Seeing what Lucifer had done; Ultimately bringing evil (free will) into the world, They (strangely) cast Lucifer AND Lilith, as well as the creatures Lucifer had created to the dark void;

 The Angels now would call it, Hell. Lucifer, home. 

Lucifer would first land in Hell confused and depressed, Along with Lilith they both begin to freak out as they look into the dark, empty landscape in front of them. Feelings of bitterness begin to reside within Lucifer, that settled into a resilient sense of ignorant Pride. 

Lucifer’s Creations - 

 The demons and most of the Hellborns. Lucifer is treated as the Divine Judge of Hell, His punishment is having to witness all the evil that had been created due to him and He in turn must turn what could never be, into another one of his creations. Though he is given it a process. He has given up on making anymore Hellborns due to them fixing that themselves. Demons that are specifically Dead Humans (The Sinners).

Sins - 

 All of the Sins were once creatures created by Lucifer that began to Form into The 7 Deadly Sins. However the rest of these creatures evolved into lower ranks and a hierarchy was formed. With the Sins and Lucifer being at the top.

 The 7 are special creatures that Lucifer held a special fondness to in particular. More so than some of the other Creations. Each of these Sins were given a mission after the fall and were subsequently turned into the Sins by the Angels, who felt they deserved the same punishment, if not worse, as Lucifer. Forcing each of the Sins to work as their prince/princess of their specific ring unless they want their entire existence to cease. They rather that not happen.

The angels cursed all the sins, and Lucifer himself. that if they ever stop their torment they will cease to exist. Angels thought this was humane but didn't realize or rather didn't care that much at the time how barbaric it actually is. 

Dubbed the Curse of the Angels or Angels Kiss 

(play on Kiss of Death where whomever Death kissed is marked for death, 

here the Sins were “kissed” by the Angels and a “kiss” was once used to symbolize a curse or bad omen onto another)

their "death" however is more than they evaporate into nothing

its their very minds and bodies slowly begin to deteriorate painfully to the point of being empty husks. No expression, No emotions, No sense of self. Nothing. Their consciousness and personality essentially gets erased entirely.

Premise IDEAS for Rewrite: 

1] 

Sinners go through character arc delving into their issues that lead to each one's Redemption

Heaven gets upset over the rise of redemption in Sinner 

 Earthly Denizens of Heaven/ “winners”  attack the Hotel

The Sinners and the Staff defend the Hotel

Heaven’s attackers are turned fallen. 

{END}

so i started this almost a year ago, it was right when i really started to dislike Viv and Helluva Flop Boss. If you wanna give a suggestion on what you think could make this better go for it. It's a WIP- so any advice is welcome and appreciated!!

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 5: Dungeon Capturer [Part 2]

Back to these two. I hope they'll use that screentime wisely, because they sure af won't be getting much in the future.

I recognize the OST, but don't remember the name, F.

Hm.

Lmao.

Wheee.

That looks damn cool.

Lovely in general. It makes sense outside of the universe, as they wanted to show off the funky magic system and the power of a djinn better etc, but, in universe, it makes Hakuei look incredibly bad at the whole "having a djinn" thing. Like I've said, Ryosai ends up beating her very fast, and while in the manga, too, she was a bit of show-offy, at least we could've easily blame it on her conquering the dungeon recently, and just not fully understanding how to use it. She overuses her magoi, because she doesn't know yet how to manage it. Here, though? She comes off as having the experience and skill, and still losing. This is the Full-Body Djinn Equip! It's supposed to be insanely powerful! How do you lose so easily? Where's your Extreme Magic? You can still go with her being that new to this, but it's much easier to assume she's just weak. F.

(They were being attacked by arrows). I will give the credit where it's due, though. Clearly she isn't using Extreme Magic, because she has no intention of actually harming her people. It's all for show. If nothing else, this does show that Hakuei is a person that really means well. Not to mention, it kinda gives the perspective to WHY they manage to stall her & her Djinn Equip - she has no intention to actually fight.

Like. It's smart, but also ASDFGHJKL HakuRocket.

Stil ended up using some spell, though it's not the same as her Extreme Magic, unless she has, like, two. But, again, how the fuck these people actually survive that?

Aaand there goes the magoi.

How the fuck did Ryosai even get so many people on board with his 'murder the first imperial princess' plan.

Ouchie.

Magi has so many weird animation/style moments, but here it actually looks damn good.

The fact that she freed herself & even took away that sword on the way when that guy threatened her brother is still damn cool. Wrong family to mess with, Ryosai.

Also, I still fucking need Ryosai meeting Fallen!Hakuryuu.

F.

The SPELL? ALREADY?

Aladdin's just casually committing murder, apparently.

I need a herooo~

Get wrecked, bitch.

Gdi, anime!Aladdin. You're weirdly murderous.

Face of a child that's just committed a mass murder.

"Boy, who are you?" He's a murderer.

"I'm a Magi." You're a murderer. Like, I'm still kinda processing that. Like, one murder here and there I can sorta see, but gdi, he went and annihilated all these guys. You can still see the destruction behind him.

On a different note, it's also cool as shit. Aladdin going a bit more Sinbad-like, a shining person leaving trails of blood in their wake. HM.

Because, seriously, this shot of him smiling with all that destruction behind him is actually pretty darn ominous. And cool. As if saying that there's some darkness deep within him, and foreshadowing that we'll get to see it at some point. We won't, ofc, but still damn cool concept.

I feel like the scariest thing is that he doesn't seem to realize what he'd done. To him it just didn't matter. He saved Hakuei, because Hakuei is nice and a good person, and he likes her.

This is still so fucking funny. And for the love of god, Ugo, why can't you wear some goddamn clothes. Imagine later Ugo meeting ppl in the Final Arc & half of the cast saw him in his goddamn underwear.

Hakuei/Paimon is one of the most sensible femslash in Magi, next to Morgiana/Toto. Like, fr, Paimon just went "I'll only help Hakuei, Candidate for a King, whom I fell in love with."

Look at him.

Lmao. Judar, the fuck are you doing, seriously. Hakuryuu's probably planning your funeral in his head rn.

Man, I was like, Paimon's voice sounds really familiar, and FUCKING KNEW IT. SHE SHARES JAP VA WITH NIGGUANG FROM GENSHIN IMPACT XDDDD

Some lore drop that happened in the manga, too, and a small note I can add is that whenever Aladdin thinks about Alibaba by the end, Rukh start to fly. Nice.

[chidoroki]

Hell’s Paradise EP9

aka: plot armor vs immortal enemy

“There are too many mysteries to solve. I need to cool my head and review the facts.” And this is exactly how I feel when I watch Heavenly Delusion.

Gabimaru, please.. I don’t think it’s very ideal for you to act on your own, especially when dealing with the tensen.

Oh we got real creepy trees praying and chanting to something.

Damn, Mei followed him all the way out here? I dunno whether to be thankful since she’s apparently strong or scared since she’s still a child.

Fuck, out of all the tensen, you had to encounter the one who killed Tenza?? Only they seem so laid back now?

OKAY Gabimaru, just break their arm while you’re at it! OH! And their neck! Not that it mattered at all because yeah.. it spun right back around.

Goddamn, even his blaze ninjutsu didn’t slow it down one bit.

Yooo look at them both go! Gabimaru is doing quite well at staying alive anyways.

Wait, that kick of his glowed a bit and actually made the tense spit up blood? Did Gabimaru unlock some new ability or is Mei unknowingly helping from the sidelines since that glow sorta looked like what she did a while back?

Don’t just sit around and tank those hits! Move away from them already!

Holy shit, they keep exchanging such serious punches with each other. I know Gabimaru has serious protagonist plot armor but damn!

Flowers are sprouting from the tensen though, so is it actually dead this time? Or.. just turning into some kinda monster. It vaguely looks like something we saw in the OP.

Ah hell, now we got electricity to deal with.

Oh this little dream is so cute, look how happy he is!

Yo someone has to come and help this man, Gabimaru is seriously at his limits.

Mei, your precious child! Thank god!

Pfftt I love how quick Yuzuriha changes her mind about things.

Wait a damn minute.. does Isabella’s va voice all of the tensen when they’re in the lady form? And the males share one va as well?

Ooohhoho Chobei and Toma are still alive! Hell yeah!

No well in hell I’m gonna remember those seven names.

“They all look and sound the same, but their personalities and roles are different.” So they really do just have two different va voicing all of them. That’s kinda cool.

Oh.. so all those creepy trees earlier were actually the villagers originally.

I don’t think Fuchi and Tamiya are the kind of backup Gabimaru is looking for.

[oro-e-diamanti]

The one where Ethan is pretending

Description | When you bump into Ethan in Paris, you fail to mention that you know exactly who he is. You’re not sure how long you’ll be able to keep it up when he asks you out for a drink.

Content | Fluff

Pairing | Ethan x gn!Reader (with the exception of one female pet name)

Word Count | 2071

Taglist | @ginny-lily @ethaneskin @tabi-toast @mywritingonlyfans

***

There was no way you were staying in the same place that Måneskin had just arrived at. There was no way, you kept telling yourself. Paris was a massive city, the number of available hotels in the hundreds, maybe thousands if you had to guess. And yet, somehow, you had managed to pick the one place one of your new favourite obsessions would spend their time. You knew it didn't mean much, the hotel had more than a couple of rooms and with your luck, you wouldn't even catch a glimpse of them. But as you kept scrolling through Instagram, seeing pictures of people meeting the four Italians in front of the place you had checked into mere days ago, you couldn't fight a little bubble of excitement forming in your chest.

Well, you told yourself you wouldn't get your hopes up. And you definitely wouldn't hang around in front of the hotel or in the lobby. You had booked your solo trip to Paris months ago, after dreaming about visiting the city for most of your life, and you would be damned if you wouldn't stick to your itinerary and enjoy your holiday. However - you had gotten up at what felt like dawn to go queue up for the Louvre and spent the last couple of hours there, so you decided that a nap was the way to go if you wanted to continue exploring the city in the evening. Fortunately, the walk back to the hotel wasn't long.

You had made it to the last corner before entering the street you were aiming for, when two giggling girls ran past you, unceremoniously bumping your shoulder and sending you tumbling. You were fully expecting to hit the ground, but instead, a pair of strong arms caught you and brought you back to your feet. A pair of strong arms belonging to a strong chest that you came face-to-face with, belonging to a gorgeous face, belonging to Ethan Torchio.

"Tu vas bien?" His broad French accent confused you, momentarily forgetting about the little detail that you were, in fact, in France, as you stared at the drummer in front of you, who was still protectively holding onto your upper arms.

"Huh?" Was the immensely intelligent answer that thus left your mouth.

"Oh, not French?"

"No, definitely not French." You finally said, taking a step back from him to avoid the increasing awkwardness you were feeling about being touched by him, while the two girls who had previously knocked you down were now lingering around the two of you suspiciously, not coming close enough to be rude, but obviously desperate to get their own piece of Ethan. "No, just a tourist."

"Me too," Ethan smiled. "A tourist, I mean. Well, kind of. I'm here with my band so it's not like we have time to do a lot of sightseeing."

He briefly turned around to look at the two girls who still seemed frustrated at you hogging his time and gave a small wave before turning back to you. It was the movement that made you realise he had the most gorgeous red rose tucked into the waistband of his trousers. Well, it used to be the most gorgeous rose - after your little crash, it had bent in the middle, the top hanging only by a thread, in the most miserable fashion.

"Oh, no I am so sorry!" You gasped, carefully grasping the delicate petals that were on the verge of breaking off. "I must have crashed into it when you caught me."

"Don't worry about it," Ethan said, softly, and pulled the stem from his waistband. The flower looked even more tragic now, in all its crushed glory. "A fan gave it to me a few minutes ago."

"Huh?" You surely proved yourself articulate in this conversation. You mentally hit yourself, angry at yourself for being so easily flustered.

"There are a few fans waiting in front of our hotel, because we're in a ... band ... and things."

Apparently, your awkwardness was contagious. Also, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Ethan thought that you had no idea who he was.

"Let me get you a new one," you suggested. "There's a flower shop just two doors down from the hotel - I mean, I am staying there, too, so I know."

He smiled at you with a serenity and calmness that had your heart soaring. You decided you'd be willing to buy him a million roses if only he kept smiling at you like that for a little longer.

"Well, I've got to go now, but it would be rude to refuse your offer. Meet you in the bar of the hotel at 8 tonight?"

No way this was happening. You almost gasped, but at the last moment managed to keep your cool, outwardly. On the inside, you were a mess. Bumping into the drummer of one of your favourite bands was a wonderful chance meeting as it was - but this almost sounded like a date. Now, of course, Ethan wouldn't be asking you out on a date. That would be ridiculous. But there was also no way you would miss out on a chance to meet him again. Preferably without those two giggling girls that were still standing behind him, watching every move of your interaction but luckily too far away to hear what you were saying.

"It's a d- uh, deal," you quickly recovered before almost spitting out the word date instead. Ethan chuckled.

"Right, see you later, then, for our... deal."

He had seen right through you anyway, you thought. But he was still laughing, so it wasn't all that bad - right?

With another quick touch to your upper arm, Ethan walked past you, turning around just one last time.

"My name is Ethan, by the way. You can tell me yours tonight."

Oh, you would.

***

The rest of the day was... well, restless. You couldn't nap because your mind was a whirlwind and your stomach was twisting with excitement. So instead, you had made sure to get the prettiest red rose you could find in the flower shop down the street - while slightly wincing at the price that a shop in the center of the city of love demanded - and put it in a glass the hotel receptionist had been nice to give to you. Then you had decided that there was no way you would manage to relax before 8, so you allowed yourself a few hours simply wandering through the city, no real destination, no itinerary for once, just a nice long stroll with nothing but your thoughts.

At five past eight - being slightly late was still cool, right? - you did a quick check-up in the mirror, realised you were not going to get any happier with your appearance whatever you tried to do at this point, grabbed the rose from its makeshift vase, and left your room.

It only took you a second to see him when you entered the little bar on the ground floor of the hotel. Even in the dim light, the white blouse that he had already been wearing when you met for the first time stood out like a sore thumb. Long dark hair fell over his back in a silky fashion. You had never wanted to touch anyone's hair more.

You took one more deep breath and then walked over to Ethan, smile on your face and rose in your hand.

"A rose for the handsome gentleman?"

Ethan almost jumped, apparently not having heard you coming, but quickly a smirk spread over his face while he stood up.

"I'll take the rose and your name, then."

"It's Y/n."

Ethan greeted you with a soft kiss to your cheek, before taking the rose, pulling your chair back, and inviting you to sit. It was almost ridiculously romantic and if it had been anyone else it would have seemed over-the-top and off-putting, but with Ethan it seemed sincere and fitting.

"Glass of wine, Y/n?" He asked as he casually waved the waiter over to your table.

"Just one. I want to get up early tomorrow for some more sightseeing."

***

It didn't end up being just one glass. It ended up another one and then a bottle shared. But it also ended up with three hours of talking, laughing, teasing, and slowly moving your chairs closer together until you were basically sitting on the same side of the table. You had asked him about his band - still trying to cover up that you knew exactly who they were out of pure fear that he'd reject you for being a fan - and he has asked about your job, your life, your family. In fact, you only left the bar when the waiter had started throwing you annoyed looks while demonstratively cleaning the tables around you.

"I'll bring you to your room," Ethan chuckled lightly as you waited for the elevator. His hand was on the small of your back and it was spreading tingles all through your body. You were standing close enough that you could smell his perfume, a light yet musky scent that encapsulated everything about him.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, he lightly pushed you inside and you found yourself not minding him leading you like this. You pressed the button for your floor, leaning against the wall as you studied the man in front of you. He was a thing of beauty, no question about it, and when he smiled down at you the way he was right then and there, he made you feel like one, too.

"I had a lovely evening, Y/n. Is there any chance I could get your number?"

What a question, you thought to yourself. You'd be mad to refuse him!

You dug your phone out of your cluttered bag. You had switched numbers just a few weeks ago and had not yet learned the new digits by heart. Quickly, you switched it on - and your heart sank. Oh crap. You had completely forgotten about this.

The lockscreen of your phone was a picture of Måneskin.

As you looked up, you realized Ethan had seen. And, contrarily to the reaction that you were anticipating, he was wearing a massive grin.

"Ethan, I am so sorry, I should have told you immediately when we met but I kind of just stumbled into this and you were explaining you were in a band and I didn't know how to say-"

"Dolcezza, calm down. I've known all along."

"Wait - what?"

He didn't explain. Instead, he pointed to your bag - your tote bag - your Måneskin tote bag.

You truly felt like the least intelligent life form on earth.

"I've been carrying that around all day, haven't I?"

While your embarrassment grew, face heating up, Ethan grabbed your shoulders and pulled you into his body. His arms tightly wrapped around your body and you could feel his giggles in his chest, as your head was pressed against it. You didn't hesitate in reciprocating, clinging onto his torso, slowly swinging from side to side. Both of you caught in a tipsy stupor.

You only stopped when the elevator arrived at your floor, both of you stumbling out and dragging each other to your door while clinging on. When you reached your room, you let your back lean against it, pulling Ethan along so you were standing face to face, smiling at each other shily and yet never breaking eye contact.

"Why didn't you say anything?" You finally asked. He stroked your cheek, leaving goosebumps. He had now gotten so close that you could feel his breath on your, drowning in each other.

"I liked pretending."

And then he kissed you. Boldly, unafraid and passionate. You melted like putty under him, letting him take control while letting yourself fall, as his lips moved against yours.

You only pulled away enough to get another glance at him, before once again searching your bag, now one-handed, so you never quite had to let go of him. A small triumphant sound escaped you as you located the key card. Holding it up next to your face, you shot the man in front of you another smirk.

"Why don't we keep pretending? At least for tonight."

It wasn't an offer he was going to refuse.

[commentaryvorg]

Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 3 - The Return of Thomas!

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Sayuri Daimon ~ Sarah Damon

Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon

Captain Rentarou Satsuma ~ Commander Richard Sampson

PetitMeramon ~ DemiMeramon

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

In the original, Masaru’s VA is always the one reading out the title card, but the dub mixes it up with different characters depending on the episode. This time, we get Miki and Megumi reading it, complete with fangirl squealing over Thomas. Uh, thanks, dub.

Sarah:  “I think Agumon has been a really good influence!”

Marcus & Agumon: “More, please!”

Sarah: “See, he even says ‘please’ now.”

Agumon giving Marcus a reason to wake up early on a non-school day, that makes sense, but Agumon giving him a reason to be more polite? I dunno.

As you can see, there is no dub equivalent of “Agu-chan”. This is understandable and not the dubbers’ fault since English lends itself a lot less to casual terms of endearment like that, but it is a shame.

Marcus: “You served him first?! What did you do, adopt him while I wasn’t looking?”

Marcus says this like it’s not exactly what she’s literally done, and also like it’s not what he’d want. Don’t you want Agumon to be your new little brother, Marcus?

Sarah: “Keep it up, tough guy, and I’ll give your portion to him, too.”

Her affectionate ribbing calling him “tough guy” is cute.

Sarah: “After all, Agumon is a growing boy.”

A neat little nod to the time Agumon said that about himself in episode 1 (even if it didn’t make sense for him to have known that human phrase, but).

Agumon:  “I won’t hand over the last of Sayuri’s fried eggs, not even to you!”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Boss, the only way to get this last fried egg is to take it out of my belly.”

Alas, since dub-Agumon is only referring to this particular last fried egg, we lose the future relevance the original line will have. The dub is not watching ahead to be able to pick up on these things.

Chika:  “What a child…”

~~~~~

Kristy: “What a doof.”

Similar snark – he definitely is a doof – but there’s something I like about Chika calling her older brother a “child” that isn’t quite there when all she’s calling him is a doof.

Most of Thomas’s shower scene is cut. I will grant the dub that one improvement it consistently makes is doing its best to remove all the unnecessary fanservice bits.

[as Agumon tumbles from the bike basket]

Kristy:  “…Doof Two.”

Agumon: [sighing] “I guess…”

What do you mean, Agumon admits and agrees that he is a doof (and implicitly agrees that his boss is one as well). Original-Agumon would not have nearly enough self-awareness to acknowledge that.

Marcus: “Why can’t you travel in the Digivice like all the other Digimon?”

Agumon: “Those other Digimon just show up when they’re called, but you’re lucky. You have me all the time, Boss!”

Unlike in the original, Marcus does actually bring up how Agumon ought to be in the Digivice. But Agumon doesn’t protest with “but I don’t like it in there”, despite him having made even more of a point of not liking cramped spaces in the previous dub episode than he did in the original. If the dub was going to have them discuss this onscreen, it would have been better to take the claustrophobia angle and show Marcus respecting Agumon’s wishes than to make it seem like Agumon’s just being contrary for the heck of it.

Marcus: “This one? No? Oh, just press everything!”

I enjoy the dub being even more obvious about how Marcus figures out which button on his earpiece is the right one to press.

Street punk #2: “Nothing’s going on at all…”

PetitMeramon: “Nothing at all!”

~~~~~

Street punk #2: “Nothing ever goes on around here any more…”

DemiMeramon:  “I agree!”

This is significantly different – here, the DemiMeramon isn’t just parroting the dude’s words, it’s definitely expressing its own opinion about things. The implication here is therefore that it starts setting things on fire because of its own boredom, and these dudes here who happen to also be bored have nothing to do with it. That is categorically not how this is supposed to work.

Masaru:  “Let’s fight!”

PetitMeramon: “Fight…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “There it is! Fightin’ time again!”

DemiMeramon:  “Oh yeah?!”

Again, it’s not parroting his words; it’s responding on its own terms like it’s lucid and thinking for itself. Not how this should work.

Masaru:  “You’re not solid enough, damn it! If I could just hit you once, I could get Agumon to evolve!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “It’s not solid enough to land a blow! But I’ve gotta punch it to start the DNA Charge! Otherwise, Agumon can’t Digivolve!”

The original version of this line sounds reasonably naturally like Masaru is just expressing his frustration at the PetitMeramon. But in the dub, it reads a lot more like awkwardly stilted exposition just to make sure the audience understands why this is a problem.

Marcus:  “Stop setting things on fire! I just got these shoes!”

This is one of those dub additions for comedy, but I’m not sure I like the resulting impression that Marcus is somebody who cares that much about what he wears, because Masaru definitely never seems to be that kind of person.

Agumon: “Now be a nice fireball and let us punch you!”

Pfft. This episode in a nutshell. More of that dub-Agumon trait of saying things that would be snarky if it didn’t sound like he obliviously means them completely seriously.

Gaomon:  “Yes, Master!”

~~~~~

Gaomon: “Sir, yes sir!”

“Yes, Master!” (spoken in English) is Gaomon’s catchphrase in the Japanese, and… I have no idea why the dub couldn’t just keep it exactly as-is. “Master” is a perfectly reasonable thing for him to call Tohma (especially since he’s a dog!), and it even comes already translated.

Instead, he calls Thomas “sir”, which on its own is… fine, I guess. But in particular, the “sir, yes sir!” catchphrase just makes dub-Gaomon come across as some kind of army grunt, rather than as the very good and loyal dog that he is.

Masaru:  “Damn it… That thing pissed me off…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Urghh… I am exhausted. Whew!”

Masaru here is complaining that he didn’t win, but Marcus is basically just neutrally expressing being exhausted without any sense that he’s specifically frustrated at the DemiMeramon for getting away from him. Since the entire ensuing several scenes are supposed to be a lot about Masaru’s frustration that he’s not good enough, the dub is not starting this off on the right note.

Yoshino:  “Well, I didn’t think it would go easily for you from the start.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Don’t worry, Marcus, you didn’t let us down! No-one here at DATS actually thought you could do it anyway!”

Yikes, that’s some way more backhanded reassurance than she gave originally. And also, why does she even feels she needs to “reassure” him? Marcus was not expressing any sort of notion that he felt like he’d failed in the first place.

Agumon:  “Hi there, pal.”

[Gaomon ignores Agumon and walks past him]

Agumon: “Hmph! No birthday present for that guy!”

How does Agumon even know about birthdays, and birthday presents, and the concept of giving birthday presents to people you’re on friendly terms with? These are not things he should reasonably have learned about yet when he’s only been with humans for like a week.

Masaru:  “You bastard! You took away my prey!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Hey, you! When we talk, you listen!”

It makes perfectly reasonable Masaru-ish sense for him to be mad about Tohma winning what was supposed to be his fight. But Marcus? Isn’t even thinking about the fight, apparently, and is instead just being a jerk.

So far, all Thomas and Gaomon have ignored is Agumon’s greeting and a brief “who are you, blondie?” from Marcus (the “blondie” part is dub-only, unsurprisingly), which is a little rude but not really warranting this response already. Heck, “when we talk, you listen” implies Thomas has been ignoring something substantial that Marcus has been trying to say to him, rather than just a question and a greeting.

There’s a record scratch in the BGM as Thomas ignores Marcus’s attempt to challenge him to a fight and just walks past him. I liked the comedic record scratch they had in episode 1, but this one feels a little cheesy and unnecessary.

Megumi:  “His stern-looking profile is so wonderful!”

Miki:  “It really is!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “He’s so on top of things!”

Miki:  “He so is!”

I appreciate the dub changing the topic of Megumi and Miki’s fawning into admiring Thomas’s work ethic, rather than the original admiring of his appearance. (He is fourteen, you are adults, please stop.)

Tohma:  “…it seems rather peculiar that there are a large number of Digimon detected in this country lately.”

…

Satsuma:  “Is the frequency not as high in EU?”

Tohma:  “No. It must be because it has a larger area.”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “It seems there have been an unusually large number of Digimon appearances lately.”

…

Sampson: “Hmm. So do you think these numbers could eventually overwhelm the Data Squad?”

Thomas: “No. But of course, that all depends on having the right team in place.”

Seems the dub is ditching the fact that it’s specifically this country that’s been getting so many more Digimon appearances. Instead, Thomas just takes the opportunity to be a passive-aggressive jerk about Marcus sooner than in the original.

Satsuma:  “Oh, let me introduce you. This is…”

[Tohma barely even glances at Masaru; Masaru gets angry]

Masaru:  “Hey! I don’t care if you’re called Tohma or Tonma… but around here, I’m your senpai! I’ve only been here for three days, but make sure to call me ‘Daimon-san’ or ‘Daimon-senpai’!”

~~~~~

Sampson: “Oh. Go ahead and introduce yourself, Marcus.”

[Thomas barely even glances at Marcus. Marcus gets angry]

Marcus: “Say what?! Why doesn’t *he* introduce himself to *me*?! I’m the one with seniority, even if it’s only three days.”

This reads a lot less like Marcus getting angry has anything to do with the way Thomas just barely even looked at him, and more that he’s mad at Sampson for thinking he ought to introduce himself first. In that vein, it’s somewhat more reasonable for him to go ranting about seniority, I suppose. However, I liked the way that Masaru suddenly ranting about that with no real provocation was unreasonable and was very transparently him trying to assert some kind of superiority, not really about the appropriate-honorific-respect that he tried to insist was the point.

Marcus: “Who does he think he is, anyway? Look, kid! Agumon and I are the top fighters around here, and don’t you forget it!”

Meanwhile in the dub, the lines specifically asking for honorifics have no English equivalent, so we get this to fill the gap. I guess it has a reasonably similar effect and is a similarly uncalled-for assertion of superiority.

(I do like the “kid”, trying to make Thomas seem beneath him despite their equal age.)

Satsuma:  “Already blazing down the warpath, eh?”

~~~~~

Sampson: “You are completely out of line.”

Satsuma was being reasonably tolerant of Masaru’s argumentative nature, accepting that this is just how Masaru is and he’ll hopefully be able to rein it in if he just understands the situation better. But Sampson is simply having none of it.

Sampson: “Marcus, Thomas is *your* superior. Deal.”

I guess it’s a lip-flap issue, but Sampson just telling Marcus to “deal” sounds weirdly colloquial for him. Also, “superior” is not quite the same thing as having seniority in terms of just having more experience. This implies that Thomas is going to have the right to give Marcus orders and Marcus will be obligated to follow them, which is not quite it.

Marcus: “You mean I have to take orders from him?”

…Okay, apparently that literally is what the dub wants us to think, even though this is not how things are actually going to work here.

(This is in place of the line establishing that Masaru and Tohma are the same age, but that will be a fact that gets mentioned in a later dub episode.)

Satsuma:  “Be sure to get along with each other, as you are colleagues.”

~~~~~

Sampson: “Unlike some teams, *they* have got discipline.”

Satsuma was trying to mediate between the two, but instead Sampson is very clearly taking Thomas’s side, which he really ought to know is only going to rile Marcus up more.

(If Marcus and Agumon’s lack of discipline is really such a big dealbreaker for you, Sampson, why did you even want to recruit him in the first place?)

Tohma:  “I think it will be futile to do so, Captain Satsuma. There is not a chance that this person could benefit DATS.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Commander, please allow me to say a few words about the new recruit. Based on my first impression, I feel he could never benefit DATS in any way.”

Thomas is being a lot less out of line here, asking politely to speak his opinion and qualifying it as being only based on a first impression. This is also not him pointedly refusing to even try and get along like Tohma was, since Sampson didn’t ask him to. The blame in the dub version of this argument is a lot more heaped onto Marcus’s side rather than equally with both of them, and Sampson obviously siding with Thomas doesn’t help matters.

Masaru:  “Say that to my face! Look into a person’s eyes when they’re talking!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Say that to my face! Look me in the eye! If you have the guts!”

There’s slightly less emphasis on Marcus caring about people looking him in the eye when they’re talking to him, since he turns it into a general jab about Thomas not having any guts, but I do appreciate that it’s pretty much still here and unchanged.

Marcus: “What fighting skills does Your Highness possess, you royal jerk?!”

Ehh, I don’t really like Marcus bringing in jabs about the nobility thing at this point. Thomas has just insulted his fighting strength, and in that particular fighting context, Masaru would not care about anything except his opponent’s strength and would not make uncalled-for jabs at something unrelated.

Yoshino:  “This is the worst… Go ahead, do whatever you want.”

~~~~~

Yoshi:  “Oh well… Good luck. Protect yourself.”

This is after Marcus refuses to put on his headgear in the boxing ring. Yoshino sounds like she’s just exasperatedly washing her hands of his self-destructive recklessness, because hey, at least she tried. But Yoshi still seems to be genuinely trying to help him, even as the “protect yourself” falls kinda flat because he literally just refused to do so. (It doesn’t sound especially sarcastic – the “good luck” at least sounds very genuine.)

Tohma:  “Why did you join DATS?”

Masaru:  “Huh?! It was so I could win, obviously!”

Tohma:  “Against who?”

Masaru:  “Against strong guys!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “What made you join DATS in the first place?”

Marcus: “Huh? It was so I could meet guys like *you*!”

Thomas: “Seriously?”

Yoshi:  “He means, he wanted to fight. Strong guys, like you.”

Marcus: “Not him…”

I think what the dub is trying to get at with “guys like you” is similar to a change they made last episode, in which Marcus apparently specifically wants to beat up bad guys, and Thomas is totally one of those, right. I guess props to the dub for at least trying to keep that vaguely consistent? Even though it’s a change that I very much do not like.

I presume the “not him” after Yoshi just said “strong guys like [Thomas]” is Marcus wanting to insist that Thomas isn’t strong, because it otherwise wouldn’t make any sense for him to deny the thing that he literally just said himself.

But, hey, notice something else here? Yoshino doesn’t have a line here in the original. They edited the footage to take away Marcus explaining his own goals and put those words into Yoshi’s mouth instead. Why? Why would you do that. I’d say that maybe they only did so to remove some of the punching from the fight because oh no violence (there will be some Issues the dub has with removing punching from this anime which is very heavily about punching), except they still keep the bit where Thomas punches Marcus in the stomach, so that can’t be it. They actually keep all the punches in this fight uncut, which is Rare for the dub.

Tohma:  (He’s beyond help.)

~~~~~

Thomas: (I’m getting tired of this.)

Thomas’s thought is a lot less unreasonable than Tohma’s. Thomas is still coming across as significantly more in the right than Marcus in the dub, rather than them being equally as bad as each other.

Masaru:  “A fight doesn’t end until one side admits defeat!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Sorry ��bout that. Why don’t you run along and catch up with Sampson. Maybe you can read a report together.”

Ughhh, I really, really don’t like this. The dub has apparently decided that, since Marcus is A Jock™, he must be disdainful of Nerds™ like Thomas and make jabs about that. Masaru doesn’t frigging care! He does not give a damn in the slightest how book-smart and workaholic Tohma is; the only thing that would ever matter to Masaru is how he fares in a fight.

And we get this instead of that fun line showing Masaru’s philosophy about street fights, giving more insight into why he insisted on getting up and continuing the fight even after the “match” had ended.

I also don’t like Marcus’s “apology”. He is very obviously not sorry for deliberately punching Thomas, and trying to act like he is when he obviously isn’t is such an insincere dick thing to do that would never even cross Masaru’s mind.

Yoshino:  “Tohma’s beaten Olympic champions in the past.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “I’ve seen Thomas routinely beat Olympic champions in that very ring!”

…What, in that ring in the gym that’s presumably at DATS? Even if this is the dub assuming it’s not at DATS and is just some gym somewhere nearby in town, you’d have thought that if Tohma had fought champions, he’d have gone to them to do so, rather than inviting them to him. To them, he’s just some random rich kid; why would they go that far out of their way for him?

The “routinely” also serves to make Thomas’s talent sound even more ridiculously over-the-top than it already was.

Yoshino:  “Really, the only things worthy of a gold medal around here are your pride and your competitive attitude.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Marcus, I’m not impressed by your bragging, and Thomas isn’t even in the room!”

I miss the snark. A lot of characters the dub makes snarkier, but Yoshi kinda becomes a bit less so, it seems.

Kudamon:  “If even a small flame from PetitMeramon’s body remains, it has the ability to develop and multiply in a short time. It should have been prevented from doing so earlier.”

~~~~~

Kudamon:  “A DemiMeramon can regenerate itself over and over again, multiplying a hundred times in as little as half an hour. Apparently, the area wasn’t sealed off earlier.”

The dub manages to completely leave out the part where this is Masaru’s fault because embers from the PetitMeramon were scattered everywhere from his failed attempts to punch it and then he ran off and left things on fire for new PetitMeramon to regenerate themselves from.

Instead, apparently DemiMeramon can just multiply… whenever? It doesn’t do so from the flames it leaves behind, it just copies itself? Except, if Thomas secured the single DemiMeramon that there was to begin with, it literally should not have been able to do so. Sealing off the area would have been irrelevant once it had been safely turned into an egg. The only way it could have multiplied itself like this is if it did so before Thomas neutralised it – but it clearly didn’t do that in front of Marcus, so this is hardly his fault.

Marcus has the same flashback to punching the DemiMeramon and the same thought that this is his fault, but this makes absolutely no sense with the information the dub has given us. Great job there, dubbers.

Sampson: “And now, the DemiMeramon has been left on its own to multiply at will!”

Um, dub? Do you not remember the part where Thomas brought in the DemiMeramon’s egg? It was not left anywhere. That is not how this happened and not why this is (supposed to be) Marcus’s fault.

Masaru:  “Wait! Those fireballs are ours to beat!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Hey! Hold on a second, that’s our case!”

They really are watering down any sense that Marcus sees this as being about finishing his fight. Instead he’s apparently invested because this is a case, like he ever really cared about the official DATS investigation side of things.

Masaru:  “Damn right! We’ll pull it off somehow using our spirits!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You bet! And we’ll do it with style, too!”

I miss the “somehow”, making it clear that Masaru has absolutely no idea how he’s going to do this and is willing to basically admit that, yet still wants to throw himself into it anyway.

Marcus: “You two can’t handle that many alone! We’ll help!”

The “we’ll help” is a dub addition, but I am surprised by the notion that Marcus sounds willing to just help Thomas, essentially working together with him. That definitely shouldn’t be something he’d want to do right now. (Suddenly the dub is making Marcus come across as more reasonable and less of a jerk than it’s been doing the entire time, because what is consistency.)

Megumi:  “His lightning-fast techniques look great!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “His reflexes are lightning fast! And he’s cute!”

Okay, never mind what I said earlier, I guess the dub is still keeping the idea that the computer ladies think Thomas is cute, adding in a reference to that where there wasn’t even one originally.

Agumon:  “Wow…”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Cute?”

And because of that, we also lose Agumon being in awe of Tohma and Gaomon’s performance and accidentally making Masaru feel worse, in place of him simply irrelevantly questioning Megumi’s comment.

Kudamon:  “Aren’t you going to stop him?”

Satsuma:  “Leave him alone.”

~~~~~

Kudamon: “You’re not going to say anything?”

Sampson: “Not yet.”

So apparently, Sampson is planning to give Marcus some kind of talking-to about this at some point probably fairly soon. We’re really losing that sense from Satsuma that he understands that Masaru will be Masaru and is being patient and giving him space to sort his issues with Tohma out on his own, which I enjoyed and am sad to lose.

Agumon:  “Aniki… Why are you angry?”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Don’t be upset, Boss! Just because Thomas is better than you!”

Originally Agumon didn’t really understand what was going on in Masaru’s head. Meanwhile, dub-Agumon seems to have Marcus figured out perfectly – and yet is also tactless enough to outright say the thing he’s already realised is upsetting him.

Agumon:  “Well, I think Tohma and Gaomon are nasty guys too, but…”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Boss, I’m sorry I said that about Thomas. You’re better than him.”

At least dub-Agumon realises this and apologises after Marcus is clearly not thrilled by it, but his “you’re better than him” reads as pretty empty reassurance when he just said the exact opposite.

(Meanwhile, original-Agumon still didn’t realise this had anything to do with who’s better than who and just thought it had to be about Tohma being kind of a dick, while still being confused at how that would make Aniki this upset…?)

Masaru:  “No… It’s myself that I’m mad at, not them.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “No, I’m not. I’m just pig-headed and I let my pride get in my way.”

Marcus, like Masaru, is capable of realising that the problem is himself here… but he goes way further than Masaru does as to why that supposedly is.

And the thing is, this isn’t actually supposed to be the problem in the original! Originally, Masaru’s issue was that Tohma is “better” than him simply in the sense that he’s a stronger and more capable fighter, making Masaru face the fact that he might not be as strong a fighter as he thought he was. But here in the dub, apparently the problem is that Thomas is “better” than Marcus because of Marcus’s personality, because Thomas is supposedly just a better person than some pig-headed arrogant jerk like Marcus.

Which is not the point! Masaru can be reckless and prideful sometimes, but it’s never in a way that makes him a bad fighter or a bad person. He’s been a bit of argumentative jerk in this episode in particular with regards to Tohma, but Tohma himself has been equally bad in that regard in his own very different way. The original was great in having both Masaru and Tohma be equally the problem in this clash between them, in very parallel ways.

Yet apparently the dub wants us to think that, no, Thomas is a perfectly reasonable guy and the problem really is that Marcus is such an arrogant jerk compared to him. Which I guess is somewhat consistent with some of the small changes they’ve been making to the rest of the episode to make Marcus slightly more of a jerk and Thomas slightly less of one, and having Sampson clearly come down on Thomas’s side, to make it look like Marcus’s attitude alone is the problem.

But, urgh! I hate that the dub is doing this to Masaru’s character, presenting Marcus as more of a jerk and as if this is his biggest character flaw, when that has nothing to do with what’s going on with Masaru and just makes Marcus significantly less likeable! Why would you ever think this was a good thing to do with the story’s main protagonist, seriously.

Masaru:  “Damn it! What am I doing? Really… what the hell am I doing?”

~~~~~

Marcus: “It’s time I realised it. I still have a lot to learn. Face it. I’m not the ultimate fighter.”

And now, while originally Masaru was unable to properly articulate what it actually was that was frustrating him about himself, Marcus has just fully completed this 100% self-aware reflection. From this, what you’d assume it’d lead into would be, presumably, Marcus trying to be less “pig-headed and prideful” and more like Thomas, since apparently Thomas’s way of doing things obviously makes him better than Marcus as both a fighter and a person?

Yeah, raincheck on that supposed character development. I’m sure you can already tell that’s not what’s going to happen here, since it isn’t in the original, because it doesn’t freaking need to be.

Also, remember how I made a point of how the original changed Masaru’s “already the number one street fighter” into Marcus’s “trying to be the ultimate fighter” in episode 1? That’s becoming extremely relevant right here.

This whole episode is a bit of a wake-up call for Masaru in terms of realising for the first time that maybe he’s not actually the greatest fighter like he thought and there’s still more growing he can do. But Marcus? He’s supposed to have already known that. “Face it, I’m not the ultimate fighter”? You literally never said you were in the first place. You were supposed to already know you had a lot to learn, so why is it only just now “time I realised it”?

There wouldn’t necessarily be anything inherently wrong with the dubbers changing Marcus’s ultimate fighter thing into this if they’d made sure to follow through on it and also change every character moment he gets to be consistent with the new version. Buuut they’re not doing that. I don’t think they realised how meaningful of a change it even was to make in the first place.

Old man:  “It’s hard lighting up a fire… The sparks go out easily whenever the wind gets a little too strong.”

Masaru:  “Well, obviously!”

~~~~~

Old man: “I’m having trouble starting a fire, though. Y’see, the flames keep dying out on me because the wind’s too strong and it keeps blowing it out.”

Marcus: “Yeah, that’s happened to me, too.”

Unlike Masaru, who was just expressing exasperation at this old guy telling him something obvious like he didn’t already know that the wind blows out flames, Marcus appears to be… getting the metaphor? His own experience that he’s referring to could just be his literal problem of not being able to punch fire, but based on what he’s just been reflecting on a moment ago and also judging from his tone of voice, that doesn’t seem to be it.

Which makes me sad! Masaru is a ridiculously straightforward doofus who wouldn’t know a metaphor if it punched him in the face, and I am disappointed to see the dub water down that delightful part of his character and make Marcus into some kind of regular person who can actually recognise that kind of thing.

Old man:  “But… once I get a larger flame going, it burns strongly no matter how much the wind blows. Fire is an interesting thing, isn’t it?”

Masaru:  “…This is…”

~~~~~

Old man: “Well… If you learn to use the wind instead of fighting it, you can make the fire burn brighter than ever before. Harness power, don’t extinguish it.”

Marcus: “…He’s right!”

But then, the dub’s version of the metaphor becomes something quite different. Instead of saying that Masaru’s “flame” will soon get so strong that no wind can blow it out, he’s saying that Marcus should harness the “wind” to make his “flame” stronger.

Originally, the metaphor was basically meant to be a reassurance to Masaru that he’s already doing fine – that he just needs to keep going as he has been and continue to grow and soon enough nothing will be able to stop him. But here in the dub, the metaphor appears to be prompting him to take new action of some sort, warning him that his flame will keep getting blown out if he doesn’t do whatever “harnessing the wind” is supposed to mean.

It’s ambiguous exactly what the “wind” could represent here. If it’s something that was getting in Marcus’s way until now, is it meant to be his “pig-headed pride” that he was just thinking was his big problem? Is the point of this supposed to be the old man telling Marcus through metaphor that actually he should keep being exactly the way he is and should just do that harder?

On the one hand I’d be okay with that because hey, guess what, newsflash, there is actually nothing wrong with Masaru being the way he is, and the dub is wrong to try and act like his personality is the issue and to distort his personality into being more of a jerk to make it an issue. But then that just serves to completely undermine the supposed realisation that Marcus had back in the tunnel and set him back on the track of not trying to change at all. (Which, yeah, again, spoilers, he’s not going to; of course he’s not going to be actively trying to make himself more like Thomas, because that’s not something that Masaru would ever do. Masaru has very strong convictions in who he is and wouldn’t change that for anyone.)

And somehow, despite this metaphor being a lot more metaphorical and ambiguous than it was in the original, and despite this being Marcus, he appears to completely understand what the old man is trying to say to him and take those words to heart. Whatever those words actually are. Somehow.

…I suppose it’s possible that actually the “wind” in the metaphor is supposed to represent Thomas, and that this metaphor is trying to encourage Marcus and Thomas to work together to make each other stronger. This would sort of make sense, since GeoGreymon uses fire-based attacks while Gaogamon uses wind-based attacks, and we’ll actually be seeing some metaphorical stuff being done with those attacks of theirs in the next couple of episodes. Still, if that’s the case, it’s nonetheless definitely not what Marcus gets from this metaphor right here.

But you know what else this dub version of the metaphor very much isn’t? It is not remotely useful literal advice about how to punch fire. At no point does it explain the part where a stronger flame won’t be blown out by anything (and will therefore be punchable). So whatever Marcus is getting from the old man’s words here, it isn’t that. This is kind of important for what’s about to happen next.

As Marcus hears about the trouble at the gas tanks and rushes off, the old man has an added line that’s just silence in the original:

Old man: “See what good fire does?”

…which makes even more of a point that this is definitely only meant to be some kind of metaphor. Though, wasn’t he trying to say that the wind would do Marcus good? Marcus already is the fire in this metaphor, so stressing that fire is good seems besides the point. I’m getting increasingly convinced that the dubbers just didn’t have an actual meaning in mind for their version of the metaphor at all and were half-assing this entire conversation. (Yet they somehow still felt they knew better than the original writers enough to change it at all.)

Thomas: “There’s no chance he can secure the DemiMeramon. There’s too many!”

[cut to precisely *three* DemiMeramon flying around]

Yep, sure, three of them is totally too many. Originally the “too many” comment wasn’t there, and Tohma thought Masaru couldn’t do this simply because he hadn’t shown he could handle any PetitMeramon at all. Numbers are not supposed to be the issue here, or at least not the primary one like Thomas is making it sound like it is.

Masaru:  “Fire sparks easily go out whenever the wind blows on them. But… Once they burst into flame…!”

[Masaru leaps to punch the Meramon quite solidly in the face and lands with his Digisoul flaring]

Masaru:  “They won’t be extinguished so easily!”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “Just like the old man said, a fire can be blown out by the wind. Then again… you know what I always say…!”

[Marcus leaps to punch the Meramon quite solidly in the face and lands with his DNA flaring]

Marcus:  “You gotta fight fire with fire!”

So… yeah. In the dub, the old man’s words were not actually advice on how to solve this problem, and Marcus’s decision to deliberately make the DemiMeramon stronger had nothing to do with what the old man told him. He had no reason to believe this would work. He really was just being dangerously rash and hot-headed with no sense of actual plan or strategy, and it really did only work out of sheer luck.

(I mean, okay, maybe he could have just figured on his own that making the fire stronger would make it punchable. But Masaru is definitely not supposed to be the kind of person who could figure that out without being nudged in the right direction by someone else. And if Marcus really is perfectly capable of figuring that out on his own, why did he not do so the first time?)

Thomas: “Marcus made Meramon Digivolve on purpose so he could activate his DNA…”

It is very debatable that this was on purpose here, Thomas.

Megumi:  “Not bad!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “Marcus proved he could do it!”

Thanks, dub, we needed it made obvious that this fight was about Marcus proving himself, because we couldn’t figure that out on our own.

Thomas: “Don’t get cocky. You just got lucky this time, that’s all.”

This line is basically unchanged, but guess what? Thomas is right to say this, where Tohma wasn’t.

Tohma:  “Don’t be absurd. You don’t come up with any strategy or tactics. Do you think using force all the time will let you win at everything?”

Masaru:  “Hah, sounds like a sore loser to me.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Just as I thought, you had no plan and no tactics, just raw power.”

Marcus: “Hah. For a genius, you’re a real sore loser.”

Still basically the same, but again, Thomas is right this time, not being a sore loser. In fact, the added “just as I thought” (and this line comes after the cut back to HQ, so there was conversation prior to it that we didn’t hear) suggests that Thomas has just heard from Marcus himself that, yes, he really did just recklessly charge in with no plan.

I mean, sure, in a sense Thomas is still being a sore loser because Marcus’s raw power still worked. But the point of the sore loser line in the original was that Tohma insisting that Masaru used no tactics in and of itself was him sorely refusing to admit that maybe Masaru actually did have some idea what he was doing after all.

Tohma:  “What did you say?”

Masaru:  “Wanna make somethin’ of it? I’ll knock you out with one hit to the face this time!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “What did you say?”

Marcus: “Oh, just this: I’ll take my raw power over your tactics any day!”

Granted, outright saying he’d prefer raw power over tactics is definitely something Masaru might also say (of course he would; look at how he never tried to point out that he actually did have a strategy because he doesn’t care about that). But this is a bit of a different way for the dub to show Marcus having his confidence back, since his “conflict” this episode was apparently about “oh no what if raw power is bad and I should be more like Thomas”.

(…Did the dub actually deliberately remove the part where the metaphor was literal advice about punching fire so that Marcus could win through nothing but raw power in order to facilitate this complete backpedal in what briefly appeared to be some ill-advised character development? Ugh, but even if that was on purpose, it’s so much more interesting to show that Masaru actually can do strategy sometimes, and it’s just that his strategies are a lot more risky and head-on than Tohma’s!)

Tohma:  “You want me… to act alongside him?”

Masaru:  “You’re joking! I’ll never accept him as my partner!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “But sir, he’s completely undisciplined!”

Marcus: “This clown?! I’ll never be his partner – he’s way too annoying!”

Thomas and Marcus get given specific reasons to object to working together in the dub – and while Thomas’s complaint of “undisciplined” is perfectly reasonable, Marcus’s complaint of “annoying” seems rather beside the point. Too pompous, too uptight, (too makes-him-feel-like-maybe-strategy-and-not-just-raw-power-might-be-useful); something like that would be more relevant to Marcus. Is this supposed to be another Marcus Just Hates Nerds™ thing? Because ugh.

Overall differences

Oh boy. There’s a lot going on in terms of changes in this episode, and basically all of it is bad.

Rather than Masaru and Tohma both being presented as equally out-of-line for their own reasons in their initial arguments, the narrative firmly comes down on Thomas’s side by making Thomas less unreasonably harsh in his comments and by having Sampson clearly taking Thomas’s side.

The bit where they explain how DemiMeramon multiplied makes no sense and certainly doesn’t logically leave it as being Marcus’s fault at all, yet he still claims it is for no reason and we’re just expected to believe that.

Then there’s Marcus’s whole, ahem, “character arc” for the episode, if it can even be called that. Rather than some delightful subtle exploration of how Masaru deals with the realisation that he’s not necessarily the strongest fighter out there like he professes to be, it becomes this heavy-handed thing about how Marcus’s whole problem is that he’s Such A Big Arrogant Jerk. Marcus is way more self-aware about his supposed exact problem than someone like him really ought to be (including admitting he’s not the ultimate fighter when he never said he was), and for a moment it seems like his character development is going to be about him learning to be less of a jerk and more like Thomas. Except it won’t, because this won’t happen in the original, because this is not remotely Masaru’s problem in the original.

Then there’s the old man’s metaphor. Originally he was effectively saying that Masaru is doing fine the way he is and just needs to keep growing and getting stronger like this. Here, the metaphor is changed to imply that Marcus needs to take some kind of new action, except what new action is extremely unclear and is not actually going to happen, because, again, not how it went originally. Marcus apparently somehow gets this metaphor, which is ridiculous because I’m not even sure what it was on about, never mind that Marcus should be the last person who’s any good with metaphors, just like Masaru is.

And then there’s the part where the old man’s changed metaphor had nothing to do with teaching Marcus how he could literally punch fire and defeat the DemiMeramon. So his victory in the climactic fight really was complete boneheaded reckless luck without a semblance of strategy, and Thomas was right to call it that.

This entire dub version of the episode firmly wants you to come down on Thomas’s side and agree that Marcus is a huge dumb arrogant jerk whose personality is the entire problem here, and, urgh. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate that the dub writers consciously chose to do this to Masaru’s character. Masaru does not deserve this.

(You’re probably starting to see why I’m actually quite glad that Masaru has a different name in the dub. Marcus may be a somewhat different character that the dub is insistently making worse, but at least Masaru will always be untainted and separate from the dub’s nonsense.)

[alright-red]

The rhythm of my heart

Summary: Street racing wasn’t something that Race was particularly proud of. He didn’t like the shitty attitude that people in the scene had and he sure as hell didn’t enjoy spending time after time breaking several laws in one go.

What he did enjoy was the rush of adrenaline, the way his body almost disconnected from his brain. The way his brain assumed that he was almost flying.

_________________________________________

Hey you guys, this is a prequel to a fic I’m currently writing and I thought why not share it. This is for my street racing AU featuring Race and this lil’ thing is mainly me figuring out plot holes so.

Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about street racing and I’m pretty sure it’s shows, but bear with me. Also English isn’t my first language but I think I did okay.

Rated: T for language, I guess. There’s a lot of cursing. ~1500 words

_________________________________________

The engine roared loudly, the entire car vibrating from it’s force, being pushed into third gear with the hand brake still on.

The wheels were turning and had started smoking against the dark asphalt, making sounds that any other person would’ve deemed hurtful to their ears.

To Race though, they sounded like a melody, an old familiar song, that accompanied him on the street. He took the pedal down to the metal and looked straight ahead, where some female thing was waving around flags like she was a shitty circus performer.

Race never knew where the guys got the girls they put on the spot, but he didn’t really care either. They enjoyed the feeling of being part of something like this, so who was he to judge?

Suddenly her waving pattern changed, a pattern Race would recognize anytime anywhere. He checked his rearview mirror one last time.

Three. Two. One.

He put down the break and almost flew into the night, the lights of the city traveling by faster than shooting stars. He barely registered them, focus unwavering and locked on the road in front of him. He knew the streets by heart, knew every bump and sign, knew the way the curves tightened and loosened.

He was confident he could win this thing and he got Albert to listen to the police radio and inform him in time if a car was headed up their way. He rarely got into races with that much confidence but today just seemed to be one of those days. He shifted up to the next gear within a mere blink of an eye.

Street racing wasn’t something that Race was particularly proud of. He didn’t like the shitty attitude that people in the scene had and he sure as hell didn’t enjoy spending time after time breaking several laws in one go.

What he did enjoy was the rush of adrenaline, the way his body almost disconnected from his brain and did all the driving while he focused on the traffic and made sure to let his opponents think they could beat him, just long enough to not end up in a giant brawl in the end, because they could count his win off as luck. It was tactics that helped him survive out here.

Aside from that. there was also the fact that his brain couldn’t quite tell they were driving anymore. It straight up lost all common sense and assumed that he was flying. There was nothing Race could do that would even come close to that sense of freedom (and he had tried to find a less dangerous pasttime).

Race also loved the car that Finch had assembled for him. Well, maybe less for him than for Charlie, but he was the one who took her out for drives at night and beat her up to over 140 mph in the city.

This year Charlie had chipped him a Toyota Supra despite Race’s protesting (“only the best for the best, Race”) and Finch had modified the sleek sportscar with gadgets and technology Race didn’t even pretend to understand. What he did understand though, was that Finch wouldn’t dare to disappoint Charlie and that’s why he trusted in the car. Well that, and because he assumed that Finch wasn’t one to go out and try to get people killed.

Halfway through the course that he had agreed on with his competitor, Race realized he should’ve taken the Toyota out a bit more before racing. Every now and then his driving got weird, whenever the car handled the speed and wind differently than he expected it too and he felt like his handling was going to get him to lose grip and send him flying into the next wall.

He started checking his rearview mirror more regularly, a slight insecurity starting to settle in his stomach, but realized that he couldn’t find a trace of the other’s car behind him. That was beyond weird. Morris Delancey most definitely had not managed to overtake him, yet he shouldn’t be far back either. At least not so far, that Race couldn’t even see his lights in the mirror. Morris’ car was a damn powerhouse and with any other driver surely would’ve come out top of each race.

Race was starting to feel sick. He definitely could not lose this race. Not with high stakes.

Race was well aware that the decision to race Morris was hella risky. Most of the city’s racers went under nicknames, trying to make sure that they couldn’t be ratted out and the plice couldn’t trace them. Or for that matter, other racers.

Morris Delancey though, he didn’t need a nickname to be safe. His daddy’s money made sure of that all by itself. If the police ever got him he’d be free again sooner than sunrise. The racers around the city were cautious of him; not only did he have supplies and money to boost his ride, he also was known for not following the few rules that street racing had.

So when word got to Race that Morris Delancey wanted to race him, the one person nicknamed after his talent in street racing, Race’s initial reaction had been to decline. He was good at what he did, but that didn’t make him stupid.

But now here he was, in Charlie’s car, getting more nervous by the minute, because Morris Delancey had made him an offer he couldn’t pass up. The same Morris Delancey who apparently had cheated and took a shortcut, because there was no way in hell he was that far behind Race.

“Crutch, you read me?”, he asked while speeding up even more, having to use the handbrake to make the turn and partway drifting through the turn that got him back on track to their starting point. His vision started blurring and he took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. The alarm that had started blaring in his head as soon as he had realized that Morris wasn’t where he was supposed to be, didn’t really help as he tried to concentrate on getting back as fast as possible, throwing any caution to the wind and pushing the car to it’s limits.

A small crackling sound reached him through the radio, followed by Charlie’s voice. “Yeah, man. What the hell is going on out there? We lost signal on Morris’ car a few miles ago. His team ain’t any wiser.”

Shit. Race, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t stupid or slow. He knew damn well that could only mean one thing.

“Crutch, he’s taking a blackout. Haven’t seen his car for a bit and there’s no way he took the lead. He’s playin dirty. I can’t lose this one, you hear me, Crutch?”

When he got no answer, Race started to panic and for split second forgot he was supposed to be handling a monster of a machine at a speed that would kill him if he made one mistake. He heaved the car off the course into the street lamp back onto the road. His knuckles had turned white a couple minutes ago from the death grip he had on the wheel.

“Crutchie?” Nothing.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking Morris Delancey. Fucking asshole.

Another crackled sound made it to the radio. “Yo, Race, it’s Al. I had Charlie take over the radio station. Give me a sec and I will find where that ass is hiding.”

Race breathed out a sigh of relief, thanking the gods for giving him a best friend that had too much free time on his hands and tought himself how to hack pretty much any system. He knew the race couldn’t take that much longer; if he kept up his speed he’d probably be back in around 15 minutes.

“Al, how are we lookin? I need good news and preferably now.” Another turn, another neigh drift. Shifting gears, using the momentum for faster acceleration.

“I got something and… Shit.” The connection went down for a second before - “Race, he went right through that old lane that belongs to the outer parts of the red-light destrict. I don’t know how you can overtake him, man, he’s got a couple miles on you.”

A string or curses left Race’s mouth, some of them slipping right back to Italian. Merda.  Va’ a fare in culo!

“I feel ya. So what you wanna do now?”, Albert asked through the com.

What do you wanna do now? Race didn’t need to think twice. He had raced cheating assholes before, making sure they got a lesson for trying to best him under entirely unfair conditions.

“Funny you should ask, my dear Al. Because I have quite the idea.” He got off the road he was supposed to be taking and drove down a lane that would save him a good couple minutes on his way.

“I wanna take out that motherfucker and I sure as hell won’t let him beat me at my own damn game. Al, get your systems started, I want a route that will put me in front of him me, pronto! I want his sorry ass to eat dirt.”

He heard laughter on the other line, then frantic typing. A beat of static noises and then - “There you go, dude. Show him who’s the King of ‘Hattan!” A small clicking noise let him know that Albert had cut the connection for now, most likely because he knew that any kind of distraction might cost Race his win.

A mere second later the screen inside the car lit up, providing him navigation and - on top of that - let him keep track of Morris’ position.

“Alright, baby, let’s see what you got”, he murmured and took the car down the trail that would cost Morris his sweet, sweet victory.

Race only had one thought as he flew down the streets of Manhattan: I am going to win this thing!

[munsonsduchess]

So. I re watched The Magnificent Seven again because I’m at home self isolating until my housemates covid test comes back in a couple days so I made some notes. Presented below as I watched the film … again

Teddy looks like he wants to say something to encourage Matthew not to speak but like he just can’t find the courage to speak up

Everyone turning to stare at Sam as he rides through the town. Like they aren’t used to seeing a man of colour make something of himself.

The bartender who tells Sam they don’t serve ‘that kind’ as a direct insulation that they don’t serve Sam’s kind. Which could have just been because Sam is a lawman and the barman is an outlaw but could also be more than that

Faraday isn’t as stupid as he looks. He knows exactly who Dan is and what Sam’s purpose was. He could tell something was happening and was ready in seconds with a gun drawn to help Sam.

He sticks around after everyone runs out because he knows Sam’s occupation and seems to want to know more.

Emma has obviously been searching for someone who could help for a long time. Teddy stopping her from talking to Sam and her acceptance seems to imply that they’ve spoken to people before but that no one has taken them seriously. Maybe because Emma is a woman

Emma is clearly ready to offer up anything she can to find ‘righteousness’. It also seems like she’s more than ready for a fight.

Sam had decided upon hearing Bouge’s name that he would take the job and then when Emma shared her convictions he knew he could pass off his intentions as unselfish if anyone asked

Faraday cheats at cards and is scared of the dark confirmed. He’s also clever enough to use his wits to get out of a situation when he’s seemingly at the mercy of two other men

Faraday has issues around killing people. He clearly shows remorse for his actions. He doesn’t seem to like violence but he’ll use it to get what he wants if he needs to

Does Faraday know who Joan of Arc is?

He’s also apparently willing to throw his life away for strangers

Emma is not here for your shit

Teddy is a good boy and he’s here to help his friend on her vengeance quest as all good friends should

Vasquez wants Sam to know that he’s not the type of man who kills in cold blood. He uses Emma as leverage because a white woman’s death will look worse for Sam

Sam offers to tear up the warrant to get Vas on his side but I have the feeling he would have done it anyway

Vas taking a minute to decide and figuring if he works with Sam there’s a possibility of him going free and not having to run anymore

GOODY! That hip swagger

“That’s ok son you just pay me double” Goody is a respected member of the community and his reputation proceeds him so there is a level of fear there at offending him or anyone associated with him

Faraday is clearly interested to see how people react to or behave around Goody. To see how the man stacks up to the story

Goody very interested in who Faraday and Teddy are and what they have to say. Putting them off their game by speaking in the middle of the saloon while he’s getting a shave

“I keep him employed and he keeps me on the level” clearly Billy has been helping Goody with his demons far beyond what we see later

Goody and Sam being friends warms my heart

That good old southern breeding. Goody can’t resist being charming

“Ain’t no such thing as a Texican” that’s one hell of a loaded statement right there

“This is not going to end well” couldn’t have said it better myself Goody

The Famous Pigeon Brothers who weren’t famous for very long

“I believe that bear was wearing peoples clothes” Joshua the man was snuck up on in the dead of night, had a boulder smashed over his head and has been tracking the culprits for two days. I don’t think you’d be in your right mind either

“Don’t call the alligator big mouth till you cross the river” Goody just has all the best advice

IT’S MY BOY!

There’s obviously something Faraday is trying to drown in all that whiskey and Teddy knows it which is obviously why he tells Faraday to keep it

Emma doesn’t trust Farday at all

Goody knows what’s up although he’s not one to talk about the battle behind him

MY SON! HE’S SO PRETTY I WANT TO CRY

Sam giving Vas the gun so he’s less threatening to Red. Same way he left his gun outside when they went after Vas

I love that Martin cut his hair off to be historically accurate but damn what I wouldn’t have given for a long haired Red in this movie

Peace offering or trolling? Both? Both.

“Yeah ok I trust you now”

Can I also say I love how Martin learnt to ride bareback for the historical accuracy? Like historical accuracy is my jam. Now I just wonder how accurate the costumes are

“Oh good it’s a black man and an Asian man quickly call your children inside for who knows what havoc they might bring”

I do love how the racism is never as overt as someone using a slur but it’s always there just under the surface

“Manservant? Really?”

Did they practice how they were going to come into town and look imposing or do they all just instinctively know how to pose? I know Goody does anyway

I cannot keep a straight face when Farday calls himself the worlds greatest lover

Sam has no time for these Blackstone men and I am here for it

Sam’s horse is just called Horse

Goody having PTSD flashbacks before the shooting even starts since he’s clearly triggered by just the situation

A western staple where the bad guys always miss and the good guys never do

At times like this Mal Reynolds comes to me speaking words of wisdom “shoot the man not the horse, a dead horse is cover, a live horse is a whole lot of panic”

Faraday and Vas being very gay and poor confused Red like “tie him up what?”

“Lincoln like the president” and goody just “oh damn”

Someone please give Emma a better shirt. She’s gonna spill out of that one

“Seems I was the only one with balls enough to do so” damn right you were

Emma just breaking down when there’s no one around to see her use she has to be strong

“Fame is a sarcophagus” “what’s a syllable?”

TABLE MANNERS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TABLE MANNERS

Goodbye to the working girls the town isn’t the same without them

Emma has a better shirt! She still looks like she’s gonna spill out though

Shooting lessons with Goody and Faraday

“The way of northern aggression”

Billy’s class just running away because he’s way too good

“Make me some eggs”

“GET SOME GRAVEL IN YOUR CRAW!”

Faraday trying to goad Goody into proving himself. Sam’s wariness and Goody turning around and showing Faraday just why he got the title he did despite the reasons why he doesn’t pick up a rifle anymore

Do any of them know what Jack is talking about?

“So far so good”

We’re to assume it’s Goody picking off Bouge’s men at the mine since he’s the only one who could make those sorts of shots which means Sam has talked him into doing it even though he’s seen what happened to Goody during the initial fight

“I’ve always wanted to blow something up”

The look on the faces of the people who live in town as the miners come through. They’ve always lived separately from these men and now they’re forced to look at their faces and see just how they’ve all been living

Sam putting the dynamite in the hotel like it’s no big deal

Poor Peter Skarsgard. He’s the bad guy or the poor Dad in a horror movie while his dad is spooning Colin Firth on a boat in Greece

“I worked for my money. I wasn’t given a million dollar loan. I’m a good guy”

Emma can shoot just fine. She does not need you Faraday

“I had a father thank you” “I didn’t” proceeds to show off as if to prove himself

“They say the nightmares never go away” no they really don’t ask Goody

“Avenge me!” Yeah faraday it’s not that hard

“I am to fight” “it comes to that and we’re all dead” excuse you Sam but Emma is the one who brought you here and she’s the one who’s been raring for the fight since the beginning but sure put her with the women and children

I’m also so mad they cut out of the scene of Vas and the school teachers kid talking

“I have three Maria’s!”

I’m afraid of owls too goody you aren’t alone

TABLE MANNERS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

How long had Bouge been in Rose Creek and making the residents live in fear? That it had to be the seven who were able to show them how to live their life again

Those loose white shirts though 👌🏼

Squinting into the sun as the realisation dawns

Sam knows Goody better than Goody knows himself and Goody knows Sam better than Sam knows himself

Sam doing his best to help his friend with his PTSD but Goody just can’t

“It looks like he’s started to drink” that’s because Goody was his friend his best friend and there are untold emotions and god knows what else between them and now that man had left but not just that but left him behind is torturous

“I’m hungry” You little shit!” Red Harvest. Professional Troll

Sam seeking refuge in what’s left of the church. Feeling the proverbial noose tightening as he clutches at his neck

Emma reminding us what this whole endeavour is for. How it all started. How it’s going to end

Bouge sitting back because he’s sure his hired men will be enough. He’s never faced opposition before so he’s confident he still won’t. Or at least that his money will solve all his problems

Also if Red only wears his war paint for special occasions and if he was tracking the group prior to joining them does that mean he put his war paint on specifically to talk to Sam

Another man in Goody’s spot in the bell tower because presumably he’s the second best shot with a rifle or the only other person they could trust up there

A+ use of Fox holes though

Jack reciting his prayers as he goes absolutely feral

Faraday’s happy little smile when he finally gets to blow something up

Jack trying to help as many men as he can, men who are fathers, husbands, good honest men

Bouge who doesn’t seem to care one ounce that the people in the village are being slaughtered and bringing the battling gun out just for extra overkill

“You ok güero?” “So far so good”

“We still have men there sir” proof that Bouge does not care one single ounce for human life that isn’t his own

That rebel yell

“The devils breath” I can only imagine how a Gatling gun got that name especially from a war vet who’s likely seen countless friends allies and enemies alike be blown down by this devil

Faraday being concerned for the children even though he’s injured himself

Jack protecting Teddy at the cost of his own life. Defiant of Denali to the end But accepting his death with a sigh believing in his faith that he’ll be rewarded in heaven and reunited with his family

“I knew you’d be back” Billy has so much faith in Goodnight and I’m gonna cry

Emma with an empty gun putting herself in front of an injured man between the injured man and Denali

Denali ain’t shit!

“You’re a disgrace”

“My daddy used to say a lot of things” these two I cannot cope

“I might need a new vest” Faraday you reckless idiot

“Hit the steeple”

“I got him!” “Oh Goody” I’m not crying you’re crying

I know there’s a lot of talk about Chris Pratt being the worst Chris but he was so good in this movie I swear. Which yeah I know doesn’t change anything but when you see him playing Faraday in that last scene where it’s all down to him. I can’t

“I’ve always been lucky with one eyed jacks”

Nope definitely not crying. Not me

Bouge’s complete disregard for human life as he surveys the town

Bouge V Sam

“If god didn’t want them sheered he wouldn’t have made them sheep” says a man who feels no remorse at all for the blood on his hands

This time it’s Bouge who’s going to feel the noose tighten and I am here for the cinematic drama of it all

God won’t save you now Bouge. Run into the church you like. It’s not going to help

“Ask for forgiveness” The reveal of the rope mark. What Sam has been doing in Rose Creek this whole time. Why he took the job at the mention of Bouge’s name

[bluinary]

gag anime that you need to watch maybe

 hi hello my name is juli and i will now gently guide ur attention to some top-notch shows, please pay attanetion

(this list is for people who don’t watch much anime or who are new to it. if ur a fucken weeb youve probably seen it all. dont @ me i want to help the kids)

ONE PUNCH MAN (the obvious 1st choice lol)

Genre: Action/ Shounen

Expectation: OP protagonist with riveting backstory fights to become the strongest hero, makes many friends along the way who recognize his talents and pure heart, big bad scary villains make him stronger

Reality: OP protagonist is already the strongest hero. His backstory? After fighting a lobster-man with nipples drawn on him with a Sharpie, Saitama decides to do a workout routine every day, and somehow ends up becoming the most powerful known being in the universe. His main issue is that now, he literally can take down any villain with a single punch, and he’s very bored of it.

Best Qualities: Animation is bomb, music is dope, humor is funnie, and Best Boy is a man whose superpower is riding a bicycle. Also Saitama egg head

If you were in a coma for all of 2015, this is the main thing u missed. Moving on.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (Monthly Girls’ Nozaki)

Genre: Romance/ Comedy/ Slice of Life

Expectation: Smol shoujo protag girl grows closer to her oblivious crush through a fated, if awkward, incident which reveals an embarrassing secret that has to be kept at all costs. Through one another they gain more quirky friends, help each other grow, and, eventually, the male lead realizes that what he needs has been beside him all along.

Reality: The crush writes romance manga, and that is literally all the man cares about. It’s not a secret, but when he told people they didn’t believe him. Nozaki and Sakura grow closer, but only because he confuses her confession with a request to be his Beta. They gain quirky friends through one another, but there is zero character development throughout the entire fucking cast. Every episode is run by Idiot Plot. All the characters share a singular brain cell. There’s a tall butch lady turning every girl in the school gay. Please watch

Best Quali-teas: Everyone is baby, lots of gay shenanigans, and toxic masculinity does not exist, the OP is pretty nice, too

I literally heard about this damn show, like, two months ago. This shit was released circa 2015. Pleeze watch

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. / Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan

Genre: Shounen/ Supernatural/ Fucking Everything tbh

Expectation: Slice-of-life supernatural where protag has psychic powers, albeit limited ones, and has to keep them a secret at all costs for fear of his safety. He has a few friends he loves and cherishes, and at least two girls who are in love with him that he has to choose between-- all of which are people he wants to protect from his double-life.

Reality: Kusuo is very aware that he is the protagonist of an anime, and he does not want to be. Born with pink hair? He rewrites the human genome to make colored hair normal. End of the world looming? He just keeps rewinding time so he doesn’t have to deal with it. Harem situation? He actively uses his powers to avoid all love interests at all times (see the above). The plot of each episode is him trying to stop the plot as quickly as possible without killing anyone. The main issue is that everyone around him is either dumb or just generally attractive to plot-driving circumstances, and they all, for some reason, want him to be in on their adventures.

Best Qualities: Heavy “me and the boys” energy, plenty of Idiot Plot, so funny that my 47yo mom who hates anime admitted that it’s funny, meta as fuck, occasionally sweet scenes, equally good dub and sub, Saiki is babie

The fandom for this shit is like. Nonexistent. Apparently it came out the same season as Mob Psycho 100, so that might be why. I almost didn’t watch it, but I got bored and it turned out to be a serious gem. Go watch if ur having a bad day, it will make u cry laughing

Sakamoto Desu Ga/ Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto

Genre: Slice of life/ Comedy

Expectation: God I don’t even know. I’d say a typical slice of life where the quiet kid is bullied but makes friends, there’s a love triangle as they grow up together through high school, yadda yadda, but look at this dude. I can’t imagine him being anything other than what he is-- a legend.

Reality: The entire show is just a question of how extra one man can be, and how well he can pull it off. Sakamoto is an “average” high school senior (in the sense that he has no supernatural abilities), but he’s....far more than that. He’s Sebastian Michaelis if he’d never been a demon. Everything always works out for him in the most ridiculous of ways-- he’s just that good. He makes a McDonald’s uniform look like Prada. He’s so smooth his bully ends up having a crush on him (and yes, it is a gay crush. no heteros in this show). 

Best Qualities: lots of homo content. the side characters, inspired by Sakamoto’s grace, all become better people, and you root for them. The circumstances are always average, but the presentation is fucking riveting. Watch to send ur depression into remission.

Another one no one talks about????? U all were so busy with ur broku no hero macadamias and ur Nartoes that you slept on this. Now’s the time to take back what was lost. Love yourself and binge this shit. 

Nichijou/ My Ordinary Life

Genre: Slice of Life/ Comedy

Expectation: Cute girls do cute, girly things and have fun with Their Close Good Friends (TM).

Reality: Cute girls get into very bizarre situations with extremely manic energies. Sometimes, the situations are normal, but the girls react in a bizarre, manic fashion. It will make you alarm-laugh.

Best Qualities: Adorable art style, little continuity, relatable as fuck

A nice little watch if you’re bored. I think the eps are on YouTube.

Pop Team Epic/ Poputepepiku

Genre: Only God Knows

Expectation: Probably a cutesy 4koma-type thing with 2 schoolgirls having shenanigans.

Reality: A regular acid trip with lesbian icons Popuko and Pipimi who are not schoolgirls, but gods. Like if Eric Andre and Hannibal Buress were turned into omnipotent anime icons. Watch at your own risk.

Best Qualities: Lots of unexpected parodies and references amongst a shitpost of a show. The OP is a bop. Popuko terrifies me, but also empowers me as a young woman because she will not hesitate to kill a bitch. She and Pipimi love each other a whole lot, so it is LGBTQ content, which is always a plus. 

I’m sure you’ve seen this one floating around. It will make you feel fear, and then laugh. Now, finally...

Ouran Highschool Host Club

Genre: Romance/ Comedy

Expectation: The protagonist is a girl who is mistaken for a boy and must be the servant of six rich, handsome young men, all of which are in love with her, and her secret must be kept at all costs. A reverse harem anime with plenty of fanservice.

Reality: Haruhi is a genderfluid queen who doesn’t give a fuck what others think she is. Because she broke a Conveniently-Placed Vase and is relatably poor, she has to pay off her debt by being a host herself-- which means male-presenting when flirting with her female classmates to make her dough. The six rich, handsome young men all share three brain cells, and most of those cells go to the character who has one line per episode (usually, it’s “Yeah”. I hope that VA got paid well). The only love interest-- the “leader” and most popular of the six men-- is so dead-set on their club being his Found Family, he confuses his romantic feelings for Haruhi with paternal ones. This is obvious to everyone but him. He never gets the brain cells. 

Best Qualities: Trans characters!! Lesbians!! Extreme “me and the boys” energy, except they’re all rich, so shenanigans skyrocket. Many 4th wall breaks. The most powerful Host looks like he’s 5. Any “fanservice” is never played straight. Takes the Found Family trope to a whole new level. Nice Parks & Rec-quality balance between hysterical and sweet. Everyone is in drag at some point.

I know all of us senior citizens grew up on this shit, but you younguns need to watch the classics to appreciate the newfangled stuff. I recommend watching when you’re in a cheesy rom-com mood. 

Honorable Mentions:

I can’t count these as gag anime, but they’re still ridiculously funny.

Mob Psycho 100

Scissor Seven

Kill la Kill

Cells at Work!

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure 

Ones I haven’t seen but have heard a lot about

Osomatsu-san

Himouto! Umaru-chan

Azumanga Daioh

Gin Tama

Sgt. Frog

Okay that is all just limke put this in ur feel-good tag because these shows will make you happy and donut for get to like and describe to my channel, where I post literally nothing at all ever good night.

[cyberramblings]

Kingdom Hearts BBS, DDD Blind Thoughts

Spoilers for Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep and earlier titles in the series. Also warning that I have insomnia and these are utter ramblings on the last 24 hours of blindly binging the Kingdom Hearts series as a total newcomer to the series. Haven’t played three yet and just started Dream Drop Distance. With that warning.....

Birth by Sleep was a ton of fun. We ended up needing to grind a little to make Aqua playable, but that ended up forcing me to learn the game mechanics much deeper, and even my friends leveled up their playing of the game! It was really cool to unlock some of the high tier spells like Triple Firaga and Thundaga Shot, although I do wish we had gotten to chance to unlock even more. I should remember how much more fun the game was after some internet research.

It was very satisfying to unlock the true ending so easily. We had only missed 2 of the 12 required Xehanort Reports. The 2 we needed involved grinding the arena for maybe an hour total and then 5 minutes of finding a treasure chest. We were then able to roll smoothly from Aqua’s finish into the final episode.

Aqua’s fight against Braig was laughable easy, but the final fight against Vanitas/Ventus was slightly tougher. The real challenge was fighting Terra/Xehanort but then the REAL challenge was phase 2 of that fight. I got them all on the first try! It was a really enjoyable flex of my gaming skills in front of the friends.

From a story standpoint, Birth By Sleep had my favorite story of any KH game so far, by a huge margin. I liked certain elements of the KH2 ending (Riku and Sora teaming up, Kairi’s keyblade) but BBS has been the only game where I had any sense of purpose or desire to see how it ends. They did a great job of having each of the 3 routes reveal new information even if played out of order (Xehanort taking over Terra, Vanitas having Sora’s face, Aqua taking care of comatose Ventus).

Obviously it helps to have Leonard Nimoy and Mark Hamill join the cast, plus Aqua’s VA absolutely dominates every scene she’s in. Terra’s VA reminds me a lot of Leon’s monotone edgy boy voice acting (David Boreanaz or otherwise). Of course Ventus shares a VA with Roxas, but the twist of Vanitas being Haley Joel Osmont is really great because he sounds so much older. I think it would have been easier to predict that twist if I had recently heard more of HJO’s Sora voice in Dream Drop Distance or KH3.

Aqua is, of course, the great standout character from BBS. From the start, we got attached to her because of her known prevalence in KH3 on top of her cool design, Arrow voice actress, and the fact that we could finally play a girl (plus one with more human proportions than Kairi). It worked out really well how we saved her for last and had to kind of unlock the secrets of her play style by finally mastering the various gameplay systems.

I much prefer the command deck system compared to the gameplay of KH2. To be fair, these are the only two KH games I’ve beaten. I’ve only barely touched KH1 and Chain of Memories. I felt like BBS did a good job of fusing the action gameplay of KH2 with the (potentially) satisfying deck building of CoM.

Re: Coded is a fucking mess. I might actually go back and play it on a DS emulator just to see the gameplay, but god damn the story is a flimsy excuse for a retread. I almost wish we had skipped it entirely, but just watching the opening and ending worked out pretty well. In the end, it’s literally just “Mickey is gonna give Sora the memories of all the other protagonists” which is badass but probably going to be mentioned again before being relevant. I will say that the ending with Riku and Sora being summoned by Yen Sid for the mark of mastery test is fucking badass and elicited quite the reaction from all three of us. The series is finally starting to have that feeling of “the stakes are high and I want to see what happens with these characters”.

This was expressed most fully in the intro to Dream Drop Distance. Step 1: invoke Disney Magic with a silhouette of magician Mickey. Step 2: Orchestral Simple and Clean. Step 3: use entirely new cinematic footage instead of splicing together an AMB. Step 4: show every keyblade wielder standing side by side. Apparently that’s enough to make me actually cry. We all got very excited by this intro, so it was a bit of a let down to start the game and be seemingly replaying KH1 again.

Of course that’s not the whole game, but I’m still not sure what the whole game is. Riku and Sora have to...wake the seven sleeping worlds to earn their mark of mastery? Are they dreaming all of this, or what? Seeing The World Ends With You was cute for like a second before realizing that I know almost nothing about it. Flowmotion is similarly kinda neat at first but quickly becomes annoying, but maybe it will grow on me with time.

Speaking of fun at first but quickly annoying: Dream Eaters. The Pokémon-esque system seems like a time waster that’s perfect for 3DS but maybe not so much for our tourist play through. The Dream Eater designs are cute when they’re on your team, but strike me as a bit annoying when fighting the same ones over and over. Heartless and Nobodies felt more generic, but that made them feel a little less repetitive to fight over and over. I see the same god damn rainbow colored Panda every god damn fight. To be fair, I think each world randomly contains certain types of Dream Eaters every time you visit it.

Speaking of Worlds, I’m not really looking forward to Hunchback of Notre Dame or Pinocchio world, but at least they’re new worlds instead of retreading Halloween Town, Agrabah, Olympus, Neverland for the millionth time. What I am looking forward to is The Grid from Tron Legacy! I don’t think we’ve seen any Disney world that specifically spotlight a sequel to a Disney world we’ve already seen. We revisit Halloween Town, Agrabah, Beast’s Castle, Olympus, Atlantica but only for some minor follow-up fluff. The Tron world in KH2 meant a lot to me having just seen the film. The Lightcycle combat could’ve been a little more true to the original, but the visuals were so faithful plus having Tron’s actual actor was so fucking cool. Sora and gang getting Tron outfits was so cool too. Also would’ve liked to have a disc fight, but the Sark/MCP fight was spot on. Hopefully we can get both of more in DDD!

It’s a perfect excuse to revisit The Grid since Legacy looks so different from the original. Now, The Grid is not a true world in KH2 but instead part of Hollow Bastion’s computer system. I’m curious if The Grid in DDD is a sleeping world or something that exists within another world, or if it is somehow connected to the KH2 Tron world (which would get real weird real quick if that version of the Grid is a copy of the original, but Legacy is supposed to be set in The Grid 30 years later).

Oh, I like that DDD has the command deck system but I don’t like the pets, I don’t like the link system, I don’t like reality shift, and I don’t like flowmotion. It just seems like BBS with all the RPG features crammed into the pet system with a bunch of gimmick infused into the combat system. Admittedly, gimmick is one of the biggest strengths of the KH franchise, but flowmotion just seems silly. Perhaps I’ll like it more when I get used to it and potentially get to customize the moves.

I’m not sure yet how I feel about the drop system, but I do like getting to play as Riku. I think multiple protagonists is a smart way to stretch the assets and tell 2 stories per world. I rather enjoyed the way Aqua, Terra, and Ventus interacted with some of the Disney worlds. Hopefully we get something similar in some of these worlds.

The dive mini game is definitely gimmicky nonsense clearly designed for the 3DS. In general though, all the games in these collections look great and feel great. I suppose that is why Days, Coded, and Back Cover are cutscenes: to keep the average quality of gameplay roughly somewhere in between KH1 and 2 between all the titles. In fact, I think KH1 is easily the worst feeling out of all the ones thus far. I’ve always complained about KH hopping between systems, but now I can’t really complain about that anymore. My complaint still stands about the games being overly complicated. Plus, the games are clearly taking themselves way too seriously, but that’s very clearly part of the charm.

Really, I suppose the games aren’t that complicated if you heavily condense Chain of Memories, cut out Coded, and try not to think too hard about the phone games. Then it just becomes: Sora defeats the heartless, Sora defeats the nobodies, Roxas backstory, Aqua/Terra/Ventus, training/prep montage, then KH3. Oh, and try to forget that somehow the upcoming rhythm game is canon.

[ryouverua]

Shuichi Saihara FTE - (Kaede #2)

“You really want more of my backstory already? When we’re so close to me venting to you already? Well, if you insist...”

FTE #1 is here

I actually would like to know more about his uncle, tbh! I don’t remember learning much about him the first time around unfortunately... and I bet he’s the one on Shuichi’s motive video, too.

.... For that matter I don’t think we hear about his aunt, either. 

Apparently this is a Detective Conan reference? I don’t know Conan very well, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Hajime also shares the same VA so it’s definitely a reference they’ve made before.

I REALLY WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS PART OF HIM

Like damn, I really thought that would be something that would come up! Unless that plays into how he immediately clings to someone who shows him positive affection? He obviously holds his uncle in high regard, so that would make sense...

NO WE DIDN’T!!! NO KAEDE THIS IS ONE OF THE TIMES I WANT YOU TO BE PUSHY!!!

Damn it.

We will literally get to that in the game can we please get a look at the Saihara family dynamic -

Oh right, it wasn’t a murder case. That was the one that won him recognition, supposedly. This is his first big case in general.

Once again we see Kaede coming from a place of familiarity as she seeks to reach out to those around her and get to know them better. This, obviously, is going to be one of the relationships that go the best for her in her limited time here. 8′)

Tracking people and things is his detective talent, not homicide. And he’s actually somewhat proud of it, considering how his reaction sprites have been! He’s still a bit embarrassed in his own pride, but he’s willing and openly sharing the story!

Again, she’s expecting some flashy cases.... which just isn’t Shuichi’s area.

“That’s why he employs me! Providing room and board is much easier than paying a salary.”

Honestly, I’m getting the feeling that it might be the area where he would be most comfortable. You can make people a lot happier that way, and not everyone has the stomach to deal with death. Shuichi was never able to stay calm when finding a body - he was a stark contrast to Kyouko in that way.

RIGHT.... I FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART....

Can you imagine if the whole murder case he was accepted for hadn’t happened and he ended up being accepted into Hope’s Peak because he was able to track an alligator gggh -

Just like I was saying last time, huh.

Shuichi is just not built at all for the investigation-trial format the DR franchise thrives on, and it shows. If he had the chance to investigate and take the time across a few days to solve these things, I bet he would have come across a lot better than he ended up doing in the end. He needs that distance and the time to process the information he’s gathering, and he just never got it. He even ends up focusing on the minutia and following a single lead to the very end rather than looking at the larger picture (the obvious and most egregious example being trial 5, but there are elements of that in 6 as well when he starts picking apart Junko’s story, and Kokichi’s supposed involvement, piece by piece). He did start adapting to the speed which is why I think he was able to get as far as he did by the time Trial 6 rolled around, but compared to someone like Kyouko who seemed to understand these situations as a whole while simultaneously putting together the puzzle pieces to fill out the little gaps... it’s apples to oranges, or sprinters to marathon runners. 

We are skipping over the fact that he not only found it but had to have it caught, so I’m choosing to imagine Shuichi wrestling a small alligator, leashing it, and then walking it to his grateful classmate.

Sign #1983245 that he is an undercover protagonist

Shuichi are you pulling a Kaito on me right now???

WAIT ARE YOU SAYING SHE DIDN’T PAY YOU THAT’S SOME STRAIGHT BS

Sweetcheeks please

Ahem ahem the skills he put to use that are totally not fit for their current situation became the foundation to how he treated his detective work from this point on.....

This isn’t me dunking on him by the way - it’s an observation on why he, the Ultimate Detective, was in a position to ‘grow’ as the cases in the game went on, and why he had the weaknesses that he did.

I found him sweet then and I still find him sweet now....

“It’s like.... you were written to be a detective.” 

is that too on the nose -

Considering his doubts about being a detective, hearing this probably meant a lot to him. 

..... Actually, this stands out to me too, because he wasn’t always the best at following up after trials with the others - mostly because you can’t follow up with the dead or even the culprits. But knowing that he learned this from his uncle, having Kaito follow up with him in the second chapter, and even afterwards, I can see that as being part of why Shuichi was so touched by Kaito’s actions and grew so close to him. 

Kaede reached out to Shuichi, Kaito reached out to Shuichi and Maki, etc....

So much of drv3 really did end up being about people’s relationships with each other in the game, huh.

THE RARE BLUSHING SWEETCHEEKS AGAIN

......

I loved this moment at the time I originally played it but now after playing the entire game I just hear, “And then Chapter 1 happened” in my head -

He did try, despite everything. He did try to stick out being a detective.

And it was Kaede’s trust in him that did lead him to share the information about the mastermind’s door, which was still correct....

Was he able to feel real pride in being a detective after this on his own? I’m not sure that he was. He did need that external validation, and always had a small breakdown when he made a mistake in a trial - whenever he thought, ‘everyone thinks I’m a fraud’ that actually hurt a lot. 

But at least in this moment, before everything went to hell.... it’s nice to think he felt something good about himself and his own worth.

[skammovistarplus]

Culture and Translation - S01E05 and SKAM+ Clip 2

I will come back to the rest of the episode 2 clips, as well as episode 3 and 4. I just wanted to get this out of the way before @lightsandlostbells catches me off guard with a Skam España recap again. 😉

CLIP 1: Zaorejas goes international

Hometown: I remember this also coming up in some discussions of og Skam. In Spain, there was a big population shift from the 50s to the 70s where people moved from the small villages they came from, to the cities. Naturally, people kept the ancestral family home and didn’t sell it. So, when Cris is talking about visiting her hometown, it’s more her family’s hometown. She was probably born in Madrid, after the population shift.

Long weekend: the 12th of October fell on a Friday this year, so episode 5 fell on a three-day weekend. The 12th of October is a national holiday in Spain, and yes, it commemorates the anniversary of Christopher Columbus’ first arrival in the Americas. It used to be called Día de la Hispanidad (Hispanic Day), so as to celebrate… Spain’s… Connection to Latin America. Anyway. The name was changed to Fiesta Nacional (National Holiday) in 1987. We also celebrate Constitution Day on the 6th of December, which is similar to July 4 in the US and May 17 in Norway.

Eva was planning on studying Physics and Biology over the weekend. That means she’s on the Science track of Baccalaureate.

Zaorejas: Cris’ family hails from Zaorejas, in the region of Guadalajara. This village has 133 permanent residents as of 2017. If you wanted to do sightseeing, it has the remains of a Roman aqueduct, Roman roads and a Celtiberian archeological site.

Hulio: Hulio is a well known Spanish meme that people I consulted decided should stay, rather than be substituted for a similar meme in English. Read more about Hulio here.

Guiris (tourists): Guiri actually means any non-Spaniard, whether they are actually tourists or staying in Spain for a longer period. You’re more likely to be called guiri if you’re from the US, Canada or north of the Pyrenees. It doesn’t matter whether you’re fluent in Spanish, but it helps not to have an accent (which is, in fact, what keeps Cris and Nora from getting called guiris themselves, lol).

CLIP 2: Good luck on that sex!

Break in August: the 15th of August is a national holiday in Spain, it commemorates the Assumption of Mary. It fell on a Wednesday in 2018, so Jorge and Eva spent a Wednesday through Sunday break together. They apparently managed to evade their parents too.

Casa en la sierra (“mountain house”): Madrid is both a city and a region (or an autonomous community, if you want to read more about this). Lucas’ family originally hails from the northern part of the region of Madrid, which lies atop a mountain range. As Jorge says, you can simply take a regular bus up there, and it’s not too expensive to visit. I actually figured that, if there was a cabin episode, it’d take place at “la sierra,” but I thought they’d take the train.

Se van a cagar con la que vamos a liar (“they’ll shit themselves with how hard we’re bringing it”): the latter half isn’t quite a word-for-word translation, but the meaning is the same. I just wanted to point out another instance of poop-related emphasis.

Waterparties (“wet blanket”): I pointed that out when the clip came out, but Cris is pulling a specific type of English language-related humor that we’re pretty fond of here. She has literally translated the word aguafiestas  as “waterparties.” An aguafiestas is a wet blanket. I thought of subbing it as “manta mojada,” but figured it’d be too much. See more examples of this type of humor here. As English becomes more ubiquitous everywhere, people are given to use English even when there’s a perfectly serviceable Spanish word. Which results in this sort of humor: translating even Spanish words that make no sense in English.

A tomar por culo (“fuck me in the ass”): I mean, I could’ve translated it as “fuck me,” but Cris literally says “in the ass,” so. Basically, when something goes to shit in Spain, you can say it’s gone to take it up the ass. Or you can say it’s gone to shit, too. We’re very anal-oriented as a country.

Coño (“fuck”): “Coño” literally means cunt, but it is used here as “fuck.” I don’t think it comes up through the season, but I will translate it as cunt if it’s ever used to mean a literal pussy.

Que se os dé bien (“hope you two do great at it”): this is pretty much the literal translation. It’s awkward because Cris herself has no idea what to say. It’s not… really a thing we tell someone who announces she’s going to lose her virginity, to say the least lol.

CLIP 3: The sex talk

Taurus: Viri is not actually a Taurus. She shares her birthday with Paris Jackson, 3rd of April, which makes her an Aries. We’re all very confused about this.

Pero ni de coña (“sike”): The literal translation would be, “but, not even as a joke,” which is too long and awkward. I think “sike” is cuter and has the same effect.

Tampoco te pases (“don’t take advantage either”): I haven’t checked other subs, but I think this could be translated either as “don’t go that far (as to pinch me)” or “don’t take advantage (of the situation by pinching me).” Hope the meaning was clear with my choice!

Macho (“Dang”): Macho just means… macho. As per Collins, “You use macho to describe men who are very conscious and proud of their masculinity.” But we often use it as an interjection, like dang, that wouldn’t be considered a swear word. Amira is really good at using these.

Not a culture and translation note, but I’m curious. How many people walked away from this clip with the impression that Nora has admitted to having had sex?  I’ve heard opinions for yes and no.

The Coach x Selena Gomez collection includes many types of apparel and accessories, but not shoes. So I can’t say I’ve seen those shoes, Viri. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  For what it’s worth, unlike other Vildes, I think Viri was actually fucking with them. She couldn’t think of anything that got her horny, so she joked that the Selena Gomez line is just that hot.

CLIP 4: Mr. Coitus Interruptus

No jodas (“Stop that”): Jorge actually says, “don’t fuck around,” as in, don’t wake me up by playing music.

You don’t want to know how many times I had to listen to the song before I could make out that what Lucas was saying before he opens the door is simply, “¿Hola?” Also, I’m pretty sure Lucas’ string of sorries is an homage to Tarjei’s delivery in the og clip. I believe at this point we’ve been made aware that Alejandro Reina likes him some Isak/Even, right?

CLIP 5: Jorge tests my patience with slang    

Abrefácil mis cojones (“Easy-open my balls”): “Cojones” is actually stronger than balls. I’d translate it as bollocks, but that’s British slang, and I want to try and keep to American slang, lest this becomes a total mess of dialects.

It’s been a full season of many, many great Lucas moments, but heaven help me, I still think his sausage craving is one of his finest moments. I even requested that Movistar+ made a gif of it. I am probably the only person using it, but I can’t find it in me to care.

Lucas ha tenido movida con sus padres (“Lucas got into a fight with his parents”): Fight might be too strong. I think “ha tenido movida” is close to “had an argument,” but sometimes we make choices in the name of less characters per line, on a show where everyone wants to talk at top speed, and Jorge wants to speak strictly in slang.

Además, que no se va a cantear. Fijo que nos deja a nuestra bola. (“Besides, he’s not going to be out of line. He’s gonna give us space for sure.”) “Cantearse” means to behave in such a way that you’re calling attention to yourself, being inconvenient, generally being a pain in the ass. “Ir a nuestra bola” is to do our own thing, by ourselves. Presumably, without Lucas “canteándose.”

No tenía ni zorra (“I had no fucking clue”): “Zorra” will come up later in the season again and again and again, and it’d usually mean “slut” or “whore” at its strongest, but again, it’s used here for emphasis. This sentence can also be “no tenía ni zorra idea,” but as Lucas does here, you can omit the word “idea” (idea/clue) and it carries the same meaning.

Nada, tío, ya sabeh, hay un amigo en mí (“No biggie, dude, you know, you’ve got a friend in me”): Not that you’d be able to tell, but Hugo is pulling a Cuban accent when he says this. I believe I’ve mentioned in one of these posts that Spaniards just love talking in other accents and doing voices to be silly.

Fuet: This is fuet. 

CLIP 6: The boy squad channels your uncles at Thanksgiving

Eva is snacking on sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds are the basic snack to munch on if you’re a Spaniard. You can buy them pre-shelled and coated in different flavors, but by far, the most popular option is to buy them shelled with a coating of salt. You pop them open with your teeth and taste the salt, then eat the seed. Sunflower oil is also the second most popular cooking oil in Spain, right after olive oil, of course.

One of the books in the shelves is a collection of Grimm Brothers tales! There’s no significance to this, I just think it’s cute.

Conversaciones de cuñados sobre fútbol (“Rednecks chatting about football”): I already posted about this when the clip dropped, but I have since learned that the “cuñado” phenomenon most closely resembles Thanksgiving Uncles, as seen in this Onion article: Nation's Uncles Enter Last Stage Of Prep For Thursday's Thanksgiving Debates. Again, football is soccer to you Yanks, but I’ll be damned if I ever refer to it as soccer, even if these subs use American slang.

Te vas a cagar, chaval (“You’re gonna shit yourself, boy”): Lucas gets in on the shitting action! Heartwarming.

CLIP 7: Jorge gets petty

Jorgito: Much like Jorge called Eva “Evita” a few episodes ago, Lucas now calls Jorge “Jorgito.” #JustBroThings

Te voy a reventar (“I’m gonna kick your ass”): I decided to be charitable, but what Hugo tells Lucas is that he’s going to bust [his ass, presumably]. #JustBroThings

I tried Shazaming the song to find out which game they’re supposedly playing, but no luck. Sorry.

CLIP 8: ☹️

Again, I did my best to try and identify the bus Eva takes, because that would tell us where Lucas’ family is from, but the shots are filmed and edited in such a way that you can never get any identifying information. Cockblocked (like Eva and Jorge).

EXTRA CLIP: Amira’s time to shine!

There’s no real reason for Amira to be sitting away from Cris and Nora, by the way, other than they need her to for the random dude to approach her. Just in case you thought there was a CULTURAL reason behind it.

La oreja está muy rica (“The pig’s ear is really tasty”): The server doesn’t actually specify it’s pig’s ear, but that is definitely what he’s talking about. See Wikipedia for more details.

Romeo y Julieto (“Romeo and Juliet”): I kept it as Romeo and Juliet, but Amira very clearly says JulietO, as in, the dude version of Juliet. She’s being sarcastic about she and the Zaorejas random being a love match, and I don’t think there’s any, let’s say, HOMOPHOBIC undertones to the sarcasm, so I didn’t try to go for a dude name, but your mileage may vary here.

Es que es un canteo (“it’s over the top”): “Canteo” comes up again! In this instance, it would mean behaving (wearing a hijab) in such a way that you’re calling attention to yourself.

Pones a huevo que te pregunten cosas (“You’re inviting questions”): I couldn’t come up with a slangy equivalent, but Cris means that Amira is setting herself up to be asked questions. Hope the shorter sentence I picked conveys Cris’ meaning all the same.

Love that the Zaorejas random is credited literally as Chico Zaorejas (Zaorejas boy).

Social media:

Just a note, since it comes up in a previous episode, but I’m doing these out of order. It seems that everyone calls the English teacher “Johnny” (written as Yoni), so as to make the pun “yo ni me ducho, yo ni me peino” (I don’t shower, I don’t comb my hair). I picked Aidan because I thought it would read as “I don’t,” i.e. I don’t shower, I don’t comb my hair, etc.

[cuddleslutloki]

stucky fic i’m abandoning under the cut bc i’m so far into thorki rn and writing loki was my fav part of this story woops lol. i want this out of my WIP folder, staring at me as if to ask “when father, when will i be complete?”

never.

enjoy!

Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d had to shake so many hands. The conference only happened once every three years, and he hadn’t been able to dodge it this time. Natasha had laughed at him when he read the invitation.

One Captain Steven G. Rogers has been invited and by then it was too late. Coulson gave him the ‘that’s too bad’ smile and sent him off.

Fifteen countries all bound together by secret treaties and trade agreements, all here to celebrate peace and prosperity and the future they were creating. Steve would have had a much easier time focusing on that goal if his translator wasn’t driving him fucking insane.

Sergeant James B ‘call me Bucky’ Barnes was Steve’s type on legs. He was an accomplished soldier, a great spy as far as Steve could weedle information from his contacts. He also spoke more than a dozen languages.

And he clearly had no idea that Steve was fluent in French.

If he knew, he wouldn’t have been saying any of the wonderful, distracting things he’d been saying all damn day. It started with a sly remark he made to Natasha on the phone earlier. Casually, in the middle of lunch, he was speaking with her in English and he accused her of this being a set up.

Then he switched to French halfway through the sentence. “You could’ve warned me, y’know, sa bouche.”

Steve stopped for a moment, then just listened as Bucky kept going. And going. And going.

It started with Steve’s mouth, then went to his shoulders, which apparently Bucky thought were perfect for holding onto when the headboard started smacking against the wall.

Steve wasn’t a spy, not by any shot, but he could keep a straight face. Natasha must have reminded him about the concept of professionalism, even if she neglected to mention that Steve would understand what he was saying, because after about three full sentences of Bucky’s lust-hazed complaining he went back to talking about the conference. They didn’t have to do much, just listen to speeches and eat good food, but there were plenty of people who would want to speak with Steve.

Plans for this and that, where do you think so-and-so is going, why do you think this happened, and what do we do about this person or that person. It was the same conversation over and over on repeat with thirty people. Bucky shared his exasperation, Steve could tell that much.

“Why did I even bother with fluency when I’m just using the same ten words in each damn language?” He groused.

Steve laughed and grabbed them both champagne from a passing tray. “At this rate I could probably have these conversations myself.”

Bucky laughed and downed his entire glass. Steve took his time with his, since Bucky seemed to have such a problem with his mouth. He licked an errant drop of champagne off of his lower lip and barely kept himself from smiling when Bucky cussed.

“Putain de merde, ce soir doit se terminer.” Bucky kept a polite face as he muttered to himself.

Steve decided to be merciful. “La fête va terminer en trente minutes, je crois.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and his shoulders stiffened. “Tu… peux me comprendre.”

Steve nodded, a smirk on his lips as he finished his champagne. “Ouais, je te comprends.”

Bucky swallowed roughly and grabbed another flute of champagne. Steve laughed and Bucky looked at him as he drank this glass even faster than the first. He watched Steve for a moment, then his unease melted away.

“Toute la journée t’as compris?” Bucky asked, his voice not so tight as it was a moment ago.

Steve nodded and smiled at him, looking at him through his eyelashes. “Oui, j’ai entendu et compris tout.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head. “Oh, incredible. I’m going to kill Natasha.”

“It’s not her fault, I’m the one who didn’t say anything.” Steve smiled at a passing ambassador, then nodded to another. He didn’t look at Bucky as he spoke. “T’as dit quelque chose de ma bouche pendant l’appel avec Natasha.”

Bucky regarded him for a moment, then licked his lips and stepped closer to Steve and whispered into his ear. “Ouais, et tu vas faire quoi?”

Steve turned his head and let his lips brush Bucky’s ear. “On va voir.”

They took a short step away from one another, facing each other fully now. Bucky smiled to someone over Steve’s shoulder and didn’t meet his eyes. “Nous ne pouvons pas quitter tôt, c’est pas joli.”

Steve scanned the crowd until he found the man he was looking for. Long, black hair was slicked back and a dark green and black suit clung to his frame. He was as elegant a killer as there was, and he was the host tonight.

“Allons.” Steve started walking before Bucky could reply.

He acknowledged people in the crowd as they walked, but didn’t stop long enough to give anyone a chance to speak. Loki’s eyes brightened as Steve approached.

“Captain Rogers, you look positively edible tonight.” Loki shook his hand firmly, eyes sharp as he glanced from Steve to Bucky beside him. “How can I be of assistance?”

Steve pulled Loki’s hand up for a kiss, smiling against the knuckles. Loki raised an eyebrow. It was that kind of favor.

“I need to leave, but I can’t be signed out until everyone else is. Can you make that happen?” Steve let go of Loki’s slender hand and kept eye contact.

After looking between them, Loki chuckled. “Steven, you’re laughably predictable. What do I get in exchange for forging the attendance logs of an international event with private security? Logs that need your fingerprint to sign out.”

Steve looked off toward one of the exits, the best one if he wanted to leave without drawing attention to them. “I’ll owe you a favor.”

Loki hummed and pursed his lips. “Why would I need a favor from you?”

“It can be a favor for Thor.” Steve kept his voice low, mindful of any who would be listening.

Loki straightened as he stood and if Steve didn’t know him, he might not have caught the flash of surprise that preceded Loki’s wide smile. His voice was barely loud enough to hear. “Does this mean that you want to help? Even after what Stark said?”

Steve didn’t say anything, just held Loki’s eyes. Loki was good at reading people. It only took a few seconds for him to have his answer.

“Alright, Steven. You and your interpreter will be signed out at 9:37 and 9:38 respectively. Plenty of time to have said goodbyes and paid proper respects to everyone here.” Loki slipped in close enough that Steve could smell the rose oil in his hair. “I’ll tell Thor to call you. He’ll be pleased to hear you’ve picked a side, even if you’re doing it under pretense.”

Too good at reading people. Steve shook Loki’s hand again. “Thank you.”

Bucky followed Steve through the crowd as they made their way to the exit next to the bathrooms. No one was looking as they went through the door. They walked quickly to the parking structure and Steve tossed Bucky the keys.

Once inside, Bucky wasted no time tearing out of the space and speeding into the city. “You know how to pick your friends, don’t you, pal?”

Steve smiled. “Well, I’m not picking anyone you didn’t already pick, right?”

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it. “That’s some network of contacts you must have. How much do you know?”

“I’m not talking shop right now. But I know you’re not here to be a translator, and I’m not here to be your mark tonight.” Steve reached into his pocket and turned his phone off, then took the battery out.

Bucky grinned and shook his head as he took a turn a little too hard. “Natasha said I’d like you.”

“Yeah, I think she’s why I ended up here.” Steve mused, fingers twitching as they got closer to their hotel. “You really didn’t know I speak French?”

Bucky shook his head. “I just got the assignment yesterday, and Natasha wouldn’t tell me anything. I couldn’t get any information on you anywhere else. I almost thought it was a prank.”

“She told me who you were four days ago.” Steve chuckled and shook his head. “It still could be a prank.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think so. She put us together for a reason.” Bucky turned into the hotel lot and parked by one of the side entrances.

Steve considered it. “It’s treason.”

Bucky nodded and finally cut the engine off. “It’s the right thing to do. Didn’t you say no shop talk?”

“You're right, no shop, let's go.” Steve all but dragged Bucky through the hotel, both of them reasonably composed in the elevator.

That lasted right until the door was closed, then Steve slammed Bucky into the door and sank his teeth into Bucky’s neck. The groan he got in return had his cock filling quickly, swelling and pressing against the fly of his slacks. He felt too hot in the confines of his suit, with Bucky’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and Bucky’s breath ghosting across his ear.

[nebula-starlight]

Comatose (pt. 7) - Together

First: Prologue / Previous: Secrets 

Convincing the others to meet inside the lab proved slightly difficult for Marvin once he found Chase and JJ. The father was tending to their youngest brother, helping him up slowly and constantly muttering it wasn’t true. None of them had ever thought the mute was a puppet. In fact, they’d been grateful for a spark of joy after the tragedy of several months prior. Having Jack slip away into a coma along with Schneep’s disappearance... not to mention how Jackie abandoned them just out of the blue.

Nevertheless, he had to get answers from Henrik and that wouldn’t happen until all of them were in the same room. As much as it pained him to have to break up the comforting, Marvin assured himself it would only be temporary before knocking on the open door to alert them to his presence.

“Chase, Jamie... We need- I mean Henrik wanted us to meet him in the lab. He hid some knowledge from us at first but I believe he’s ready to say what he knows.”

“Of course,” Chase muttered, giving Jamie one more hug before agreeing to return to the lab.

Watching them slip past, Marvin hesitated for a moment, adjusting his mask as he realized Jamie hadn’t been in his own room. Judging by the excess of clothes on the floor and the numerous boxes of tea bags sitting on a sagging shelf above the bed, it was obvious who’s bedroom it was. Why hadn’t he suspected such considering which two it was? Out of all of them it was clear Chase and JJ shared a special bond. Maybe not as unique as the one between Jackie and Henrik but still...

Upon reentering the lab, his eyes glowed instinctively at the sight of Jack being awake again. Was it really their creator or his passenger? Could Nether even take control? Furthermore, had that been why there had been so many spasms as of late? Marvin didn’t even realize his hands were shaking until Chase touched his shoulder to get his attention.

“Dude, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something. Sure you rested well last night?”

He blinked, looking away from the bed as he cleared his throat. “Yeah... Yeah I’m good. Just still a bit shaken up from earlier is all.”

Henrik speaking up prevented Chase from trying to press the issue and, for that, Marvin was thankful. He knew the others would find out on their own but to look at Jack and not know if he was really looking back was disturbing to say the least. Hopefully there’d be a way to tell the two apart if Nether could indeed communicate with them.

“Zhank you Marvin. I am not proud zhat I hid knowledge from you. Nor am I happy to say zhis after vhat happened earlier...”

He had intended to listen, honestly, but found his gaze wandering towards Jamie as the ego tilted his head, gazing intently at Jack while his mustache twitched. Marvin had suspected in the past that due to the lack of a voice the youngest ego might have developed a way to talk without the use of his speech sliders but this was the first time he ever felt truly confident in that thought.

Apparently he wasn’t the only one watching the mute as Chase touched his shoulder but received no response. “Jamie... You okay?”

‘He speaks in riddles...’

“Him? We’re all right here dude. Are you sure you’re alright from earlier?”

“No, Chase. Zhere is more to it. Jack isn’t alone in his head anymore.” Marvin nodded in agreement with Schneep’s admittance, tugging on one glove to make sure it stayed in place as the father flinched back.

“Then that means that we have another possession situation on our hands, right?”

The magician was quick to shake his head that it wasn’t. “Not the way I see it. Nether’s mind might be trapped there but his body...” He sighed, unsure at first if he should continue. “His body became an empty vessel of which the glitch possessed. That’s what we’re facing now.”

“And that is what I tried to prevent from happening when I left.”

The voice was rich, full of strength and authority but also gentle. It was one most of them hadn’t heard in months, save for one who remained quiet as the crimson suited hero entered the room from Schneep’s office with a noticeable limp.

Despite himself, Marvin was one of the first to approach the oldest ego, resisting the urge to push up his mask. He owed what vision he did have to Jackie after all. It had been an odd suggestion at first to fit the underside with small electronic microchips around the eye sockets but given what had eventually happened, he was more than grateful for the fact that he’d agreed on that day.

“When did you get back?” He asked, pulling him into a hug which he noticed Jackie seemed to stiffen the minute his arms brushed across the hero’s back.

“I’ve been back for a while actually. I just couldn’t- couldn’t stay away knowing what day it was. Henrik needed someone.” Jackie’s eyes flickered toward the still silent doctor as he pulled back out of the hug. “I told myself it wasn’t time to come back... That you would just see me as a coward.” He stumbled back a step as Marvin let go, worry creeping in. “I couldn’t save Jack... couldn’t keep the glitch distracted... No wonder he got the better of me. Tried to rip me apart with his knife-“

“Wait, hold up! When did he go after you?” Chase protested, voicing the ever-increasing dread Marvin felt.

“Shortly after I left a few months back. I stayed around during the end of last year but felt miserable, knowing I hadn’t done a damn thing to help in August. Guilt just kept piling up and...”

Schneep finally seemed to come back to alertness, although Marvin could see how he rubbed one arm almost mindlessly. No doubt it was a coping mechanism from whatever torture he’d been put through for those long months. Still, he relaxed when JJ pointed to the unoccupied rolling chair for Jackie to sit. He hadn’t ignored the odd reaction to the hug but wanted to wait until later to ask for an explanation. If he had been attacked though, shouldn’t it have healed by now?

“Zee injury still bothers you?” Schneep softly inquired of Jackie as the hero took the offered seat with a slight grimace.

“Yeah, it cut through some nerves when he tried to stab the knife through my spine. I’m lucky I had moved some...” He sighed, realizing he was sitting beside Jack who looked at him without a hint of recognition in his eyes.

Marvin looked over at Jamie to see he was quick to nod at a softly spoken question from Chase but did not summon his speech sliders to verbalize whatever had been asked. Telepathic communication with Nether perhaps? Certainly he didn’t recognize Jackie but, then again, he hadn’t been around when the illusionist had woken up.

“We need a plan of action.”

Where would the glitch go next? He had already proven that nothing would stand in the way of getting what he wanted. Nether’s soul was a powerful weapon, that Marvin knew from experience. So what else were they missing?

‘Nether has an idea, Marvin. He also wishes to apologize for not speaking up sooner but it’s taxing for him to stay awake...’

The seizures and lapsing concentration had been because of the spirit then. Expression firm, the magician nodded, silently instructing Jamie to continue. Although why Nether had not chosen to speak with him was odd considering he too wielded magic. Was it possible there was some guilt from the earlier attack?

‘A soul that fractured is already leaking... seeping poison into the bloodstream of its host...’ A shudder gripped JJ and Chase was quick to put a hand on his shoulder to steady him as he squeezed his eyes shut, mustache twitching frantically.

“Zee same poison...” Henrik glanced worriedly back at his office. “Vhy now?”

Jackie lifted his head, pushing back his hood as he took off his mask. “Henrik, what are you talking about?”

“On zee file zhere vas a strange green smear. I never remembered seeing it before but now...” He turned back to Jack, brow furrowed in confusion. “How long have you known?”

‘Before Jack played Detention and it worsened over time.’ Jamie translated for the trapped soul, his speech slider flickering as it tried to keep up. ‘By the time of the collab with Mark it was a wonder standing was possible. Everything hurt... Magic was unpredictable... Language barely-‘

Another coughing spell seized their possessed creator, his body jerking uncontrollably as Jamie stumbled back and lifted a hand to his nose, fingers coming away red. Marvin quickly helped Schneep keep Jack from hurting himself, all the while wondering if something else had been left behind as well when Nether’s link to his physical form had been shattered. He wasn’t overly confident in mind magic but had a growing suspicion that Anti knew of the mute’s secret skill. What better way to divert their attention so he could then strike when they weren’t expecting it?

Next: Heart To Heart 

[hashtagkairideservedbetter]

My main issue(s) with KH3

Spoilers abound, so please don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game or don’t want any negative opinions influencing how you see the ending/ the game. I did enjoy several parts of KH3, but this post is focused on things I had issues with, and if you don’t want to see criticism of your media please look elsewhere. 

This is how I interpreted the game as someone coming into KH3 with KH2 being the last game I played, and a playlist of youtube videos spanning lets plays, summaries, and humorous deconstructions as a codex. 

Here’s the thing. I’ve seen several people already break down how KH3′s story and pacing could have been handled better. Specifically, to more comprehensively tie in the 10,000 plot points that needed to be covered in a way that actually helps connect the main characters. I’m not going to get into all of that, because frankly I can’t fake knowing enough about the background lore of Kingdom Hearts to know how to better juggle all of the intermediary games into KH3. 

Most of my grievances honestly lie with the handling of the Destiny Trio and the Disney Worlds. 

I’m going to do a read more on this because it’s gonna be a long one. (Also very much a train of thought, so disorganized, sorry). 

So. Sora. Protagonist of the game (mostly. kind of?). 

A cheerful ray of sunshine.

A Keyblade wielder who has overcome traumatizing ordeals that tore him away from all he loved and knew at least twice now for over three years. 

A continuity disaster stuck being pinballed back and forth between happy goofs and hollow tragedies every thirty minutes in between busywork battles and off-scene disney films for 85% of KH3. 

I understand that Sora’s greatest power is supposed to be his optimism, as it’s sort of the prerequisite for going through disney worlds where people sing about their problems. I get it.  

However, there’s a difference between, “I’m naive and happy and oblivious and that’s why I’m a guardian of the light,” and “I have battled true darkness and felt true loss and decided that choosing to be kind, choosing to embrace joy in new experiences and relationships, is a bigger middle finger to the darkness than anything else.” Guess which one I prefer. Guess which one I was thinking would finally be Sora’s character arc. Instead he’s happy, happy, happy, happy... and then suddenly in the eleventh hour having a mental breakdown. 

Sora is written into a loop every game of kind, naive, but unchanging (”Don’t ever change, Sora”). That was endearing when we were both 14, but after almost twenty years it gets tiring to watch Sora get hit with a reset button every time you meet up with him again. There’s a scene in the gummi ship early on in the games where Donald asks Sora to “take this seriously,” and Goofy remarks that they seem to be stuck in a rut as Donald and Sora have the same conversation over and over again before entering the first series of Disney worlds. Sora knows he needs the power of waking in order to help his friends and free those trapped in his heart, but seems content to just drop into various worlds and wing it, and hope that it all sort of works out. 

And then when it does work out, and Sora uses the power to save everyone, he’s immediately told he’s doomed now? Like, what was the point of him being able to use this to connect with people if he’s doomed. Why did they want him to have this. What’s the point then of Sora having these strong connections. 

Each world makes a big scene about the friendships and connections that Sora makes so easily, but in KH3 there never seems to be enough time for Sora to actually pay them any attention unless the person is right in front of him. Sora seems to make connections for the sake of making connections in KH3, and the ones he has, he does very little to advance or reconnect with.  

Like, the whole point of 100 Acre Wood this time was apparently that Sora’s connection to Pooh was weaker for some reason. I honestly didn’t understand the reason or how it was magically resolved just from Sora showing up and saying hi? But whatever. 

My two least favorite worlds were Corona and Arendelle, for the same reason. There was no believable connection between Sora and the characters there. For fuck’s sake, the combat ally you get in Arendelle is the snow monster, not even a main character.

Sora is like the living embodiment of the B99 clip of Rosa with her dog. He just met Elsa and spoke a whopping five sentences to her, but damn if he won’t climb a mountain five times just for her to save herself without ever talking to him again. Like, literally that is the only interaction Sora has with Elsa. Same thing with Anna, and in her case I literally had to mute my tv so I could track what she was actually saying since they decided to shove two songs from the movie into this game.  

You spend the majority of your time in these worlds trying to play catch up to the leads as they have their movie play out around the bend in the road in front of you, out of your sight. Props to Disney’s ego that they think I remember the beat by beat plots of their films when they came out 9 years ago (Tangled) and 6 years ago (Frozen). I actually had the thought of going and watching Tangled just to remember what Flynn and Rapunzel got up to while Sora wandered around a marsh and had a pointless conversation with Marluxia. 

(Also, getting real tired of the “Good to see you Sora” “Who the fuck are you?” “Oh that’s right you don’t remember that game haha it’s fine it was a gameboy game nobody even knows what those are anymore.” That shit was getting old midway through KH2.) 

To be fair, the PoTC world suffers from the same problem as the other two. Sora shows up, sees everyone for thirty seconds, gets separated, and while we’re dicking around trying to find white crabs on the islands there’s a whole movie going on that we don’t see or participate in. I feel really bad for anyone who did not keep up with that franchise because I only watched the third movie the once and I was confused as hell. Also, the whole time I was finding the crabs in Port Royal all I could think about was this ProZD video. 

I just. I’m 26 years old. These movies hold no nostalgia for me, and maybe that’s the problem. I already had a connection to Aladdin, Peter Pan, etc, so I was maybe more willing to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy the interactions. But those Disney worlds also felt more tied in to the plot. You can make the argument of Marluxia and Larxene putting pressure on Sora to find the Wayfinders so that six princesses of heart aren’t used as backup... but where are the other three? Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, and Kairi make four. Where’s Merida, Tiana, Moana? Mulan or Pocahontas even, since Moana was probably too recent. (But probs not, as it was probably starting development in 2014). If that’s going to be yet another subplot, shouldn’t you at least see it through?  

My point is, I can distinctly recall prior games mostly keeping to the established script in the disney worlds, but still letting Sora really get in there and interact with the characters. The heartless, nobodies, etc were a real wrench in the works for the plots, and had an actual effect on how the story was told and the order of events. Sora felt more involved in cutscenes and was an active participant in the world’s events instead of just a bystander. 

In KH1 and KH2 there was a dialogue happening between the villain of each world and a greater evil. Hell, in KH1 they were a unified council! In KH3 they’re puppets who don’t even talk to the bigger bad like Randall or Mother Gothel, or are there for a whopping thirty seconds like Hans. It makes it more and more obvious that the Disney worlds are just being shoehorned in as a contractual obligation than for any real purpose anymore.

 The only world that’s appeared in all three games, Olympus, was especially jarring. Like, you could tell there was a lot of corners cut on what VAs they could get for this game, as Phil does not speak once. Meg spends more time making eyes at Hercules and nodding than showing any of the sass she has from the film. (This was a thing in KH2 as well tho so I can’t complain about them continuing to drop the ball on even background women characters-- Oh wait, I can, because they’ve had T H I R T E E N YEARS to get it right.) 

Which I guess is as good a segue as any into Kairi Time. 

Listen. Did I mention I’m 26? Yeah. I started reading fanfic on livejournal. I was there when AO3 first got its start. I’ve seen the shipping wars. I know the dark past of Soriku vs Sokai.

I couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

These characters are still 16 and I am now 26. I’m fine with them trading noogies and maybe being able to kick back and play some Mario Kart. Kairi would wipe the floor with both of them because she had time to get good enough to beat Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie combined between KH1 and KH2. 

The point is, I don't care one way or the other about shipping. If my 15 year old self were here, they would be horrified I wasn't over the moon when Kairi and Sora finally shared the paopu fruit. As it is, I kind of stared blankly at my screen and went 'huh, there's gonna be a lot of fanfic fixing this moment.'  From both sides, I think, because even if you're into Sokai you gotta admit that moment did not feel romantic. It felt forced. Like "Oh hey, we've been putting this off, huh. Welp, here we go!" 

It doesn't help that I really, truly, don't like whoever Kairi's VA is in this game. Like, she sounds so ditzy and soft. Get that shit out of here. The dialogue and voice acting in this series has never been its strength, but honestly, I cringed my way through every interaction between Kairi and Axel because of how stilted and bad their conversations were! I’m definitely not saying that Kairi’s voice was stellar in 1 and 2, but at least her voice was clear, and had personality, and by the end of 2 was actually fairly strong. She sounded strong, and determined to be fighting with Sora and Riku, green as she was then, in the World That Never Was.

Whenever she talked in the third one I just sort of grit my teeth and wondered why someone on the production team wanted Kairi to sound so weak. 

Then they killed her at the labyrinth and I said, ‘Ah, that tracks.’ 

I played FFXV, so I guess shame on me for not seeing the signs when the girl love interest is about to be capable and not needing the hero to save her. She gets taken! And killed. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

I actually saw people excited about that Verum Rex thing and after seeing the Noctis ripoff reaching for the Luna ripoff covered in purple light I laughed, and laughed. And then sighed and reached for a stiff drink. 

All this to say that while I’m angry but not truly surprised that Kairi was once again shafted, I’m all the more pissed that they did it in the laziest, most insulting way possible by hinging it all on Sora needing a reason to fight Xehanort. Like, really???? Really. That’s your angle. The man-pain trope is so painfully overdone. Please. It’s 2019. Come into the future with us, Nomura. 

And I feel bad that all of the stuff I just wrote mostly revolves around Kairi being Sora’s romantic interest. But that’s because that’s all this game allowed her to be! Princess of light what? Bequeathed Keyblade wielder in her own right who??? Every battle she and Axel share with Sora they get their asses kicked in 30 seconds flat, so maybe Merlin should have left them suspended in time a little longer. Maybe long enough to convince someone out there in the universe that these two deserved to be competent. 

Hell, not just competent. Amazing. Kairi deserved to be able to stand on her own two feet and hold her own. To be running alongside her boys and not just be an object for them to tussle over or save. As Aqua’s somewhat successor, she deserved to be a terrifying wielder of battle magicks and flurries of light magic. 

To be replaced by Xion was just insult to injury. Like, I’m very happy that Xion got her heart back and was reunited with Roxas and Axel, but she didn’t need to be brought back at Kairi’s expense. The world won’t implode if the replica and actual person inhabit the same space. 

Which is leads us to our third member. 

Riku. To be fair. Riku got the most growth as a person out of the three of these kids, easy. We finally see a Riku who is confident in himself and his journey, and willing to take everything he learned along the way to help Mickey, Aqua, and even his own replica. However.... 

He doesn’t seem to give two shits about Kairi anymore? Did they even talk, like, once during the whole game? I can’t recall a single instance where Sora, Kairi, and Riku were in the same place together where it was just them, and they held an actual conversation. Hell, where they even said “Hi, how’s it going? What have you learned, had any good food lately?” 

God, even when Kairi was taken, and then when she was killed, Riku had one moment of anger, and then was completely, like, chill again, and back to talking Sora down. Like, what? I don’t want any love triangle bullshit, but Riku and Kairi were friends as much as Sora and Kairi and Sora and Riku are friends. 

And that’s what bothered me the most about the disappearance of Kairi introducing this bullshit narrative of Sora abusing his power of waking. He spent two games trying to get him, Riku, and Kairi together. But he doesn’t want Riku to help him get Kairi back? And Riku’s just going to let him go?! After all Riku has done and learned about falling to darkness and clawing yourself back to light and peace, he’s just going to let Sora do the same?

I call bullshit. 

And this is why when Sora suddenly faded out of view on the beach next to Kairi I slowly leaned back in my chair, dropped my controller into my lap, and flipped off my tv screen with both hands.

[daydreamingdragon]

quiet post just bc i saw some Discourse on my dash and felt like putting in my opinion but not bothering the ops.

tw: abuse / child abuse / rape / cnc / grooming

OK SO first off was an anon sending an artist a link to an article about why ahegao (that tounge out, cross eyed sex face) was "problematic"

i fucking hate the term problematic and internet cancel culture as a whole. that's pretty much this entire post.

yes, i admit i am a white person inserting themselves into a conversation about the abuse asian people receive. this Isn't My Place. whatever.

the article quoted some twitter posts by asian people sharing their stories of the abuse they received specifically regarding ahegao but also racist stereotypes as a whole. i'm not trying to downplay the fact that these people were abused/groomed/etc by racists. shit like that happens. it sucks. ahegao originated from a child rape fantasy manga from the 80s. these stereotypes do exist, and it does contribute to some racist abuse. but overall i don't think it's that big of a deal

it feels like the same conversation people have regarding ~problematic~ topics in fiction, ie: rape/cnc, pedophilia, incest, murder, etc. just because someone is into a fictional incestuous ship does not mean they endorse that in real life! just because someone reads a detective novel does not mean they want to go out and murder someone! it's all fantasy. yes, there may be some people out there who take this fiction and attempt to normalize it, there are people out there who take hentai too far and beat women over it. it's a shitty situation! racists and abusers should be stopped!

idk i cant think of a good closing statement now but tldr: ahegao face being declared "problematic" and thus banned from the internet is stupid

next thing is a small comment re: the fandom shit that blew up in the arcane (lol show) section of the internet

jason spisak (va for one of the main characters that a great many people (myself included) simp for) posted a (poor) cosplay of himself in character. somewhere in the tornado that followed, it apparently came out that he is currently dating a 22 year old fan, while he himself is in his 50s. he has subsequently been "canceled" because of this

my take: so fucking what! they're both consenting adults (technically, before anyone comes at me with the 25 brain thing) and also, people griping about "not pandering to people who have a parasocial relationship" how bout you stay out of his fucking business? who gives a shit who he is or isnt dating. its the damn nerd equivalent of people screaming about the kardashians. just stfu

(tbh i havent actually seen a whole lot of this discorse, i just got whiffs of it when it broke but it has also been bugging me)