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cattimeswithjellie · 6 months ago

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Stream Recap, ImpulseSV, 6/12/24

((If you caught the excerpt from this I posted last night, you may be ready for the wildness that is this stream recap. I started out expecting a build stream and wound up recapping a Hermit social gathering for two hours, lol. It's all right though, because it was very, very funny.))

2:55 Impulse opens the stream on studio view. He asks if his streaming setup still works and jokes he needs to get the dust off it. He shares that he has been gone because he’s been sick, and decides he should probably just start tacking a few extra sick days onto the end of each vacation because it happens every time. (Except in Michigan, Chat points out.) Chat tells him his voice sounds better now than in the video. He says he’ll see how he feels as the stream goes on. He talks a little about PixelPulse Valley, how he named it because he likes being in the valley in Phoenix and likes valleys in general. Chat makes a joke about valley girls. Impulse has been sick almost a whole week and it is gross, especially since he’s had to travel.

6:00 Impulse shouts out to Noah in chat, who is someone he met in person on the cruise ship. Apparently there were several Impulse-in-the-wild spottings on this trip. He thanks subs and donos. He reminds chat that a Big Video came out today, one that he’s been waiting to show for awhile. He finally gets to tell the story of PixelPulse Valley and its battle with the AIs, and the basics of what the game is going to be like. Impulse doesn’t want to go too deep here because he doesn’t want to spoil the video, but he will be working on some stuff in the city. He suggests that maybe chatters might want to catch at least part of the video before joining the stream. Today he’ll be working on the secret tunnel and hopes for a normal-length stream. Chat sings the SECRET TUNNEL song.

9:50 Chat is worried about Impulse staying hydrated. He assures Chat he has been triple-fisting coffee, juice and water. Chat is unsure about the phrasing but happy that Impulse is getting enough to drink. It is impossible to bother Skizz during stream today because Skizz is at work, and when he gets home from work they are going to record the podcast.

11:00 Impulse shows off his new redstone door. He apologizes to RKF Walter, whose name he messed up while crediting him for the door design. It is a beautiful door design and opens to an exploding flight rocket. He drops down the escape hole and shows Chat the Secret Tunnel. He says he’s gotten lots of good suggestions in the video comments already for different ambiance touches. He is not sure yet what he’s going to change, if anything. He shows off how covering a pearlescent froglight with a trapdoor turns the light pure white.

14:10 Impulse highlights the wall lights. He is happy because there are not many chances for subtle design touches that are only a few pixels tall in Minecraft. He contemplates how he’s going to mute when he inevitably starts coughing. He reveals that his favorite DCI team is Impulse, of course. It’s where all his branding came from! (Blue Devils is also good). DCI is Drum Corps International, professional marching band with no woodwinds. He toured the country for a whole summer with the Impulse team back in the day. Chat is excited about this Impulse Lore. Impulse’s girlfriend back in the day (not his wife now) was a clarinet player, but she played cymbals on the drumline.

18:00 Impulse notices that all the trapdoors have completely oxidized and wonders who has been keeping it loaded. Probably Joel, he concludes as he cleans and waxes them. Chat suggests it might also be people coming by to use the XP bank. Impulse agrees that the XP bank is popular, way more popular than he and Skizz anticipated. He may have to put in some more at other Hermits’ bases, just to lighten the load on Bop n’ Go. Chat suggests putting XP banks inside the volcano once it is hollowed out. He likes that plan.

21:00 Chat asks if Impulse saw Tango’s video that had the naturally volcano-shaped Magic Mountain clone. Impulse didn’t see it. Chat asks what he plans to do about the slime chunk in the tunnel. Impulse does not know. He doesn’t want to put carpet in. He’s not too worried because big slimes are unlikely to spawn, and he doesn’t want to slab it and change the tunnel shape. He’ll wait and see how bad it is. He decides to start the next segment of tunnel with the bottom wall edges and gathers his supplies.

23:40 It was easier to record video sick than to stream sick, because he could gather energy for short bursts of talking. Chat asks for advice on visiting DCI events. Impulse says check out the vendors to find cool music supplies, and also bring lots of sunscreen. He does not have enough cyan terracotta. He considers whether anyone sells terracotta, then remembers he’s not buying from Big T. He begins laying out his pattern. Ren messages in chat that he needs Impulse’s brain. Impulse doesn’t promise his brain is working, but goes to find Ren at his base. As he flies, Impulse talks about playing Wordle at Pearl’s yesterday and how he struggled because his brain was foggy. He likes Wordle but he did not do well. ((It did take Impulse more than 20 minutes to solve the puzzle at Dyeductions on Pearl’s 6/11 stream, compared to 10 minutes for Skizz.))

26:30 He touches down at Ren’s base and asks where Ren is, Ren tells him he must come into the truck. Impulse asks if he should be recording. Ren says he can if he wants, and he probably should too. They both reveal that they are streaming. Impulse tries to find his way into the truck with little success. Ren directs him to the door on top and describes the lever. Impulse finds the lever but it doesn’t work. They are having some audio issues due to Ren’s setup. Impulse plasters himself against the front windshield and breaks into the truck, to Ren’s great consternation. Impulse replaces the broken glass and assures Ren he is a certified repair technician. Ren accepts this and moves on.

29:00 Ren tells Impulse he needs his brain, then uses the classic girlfriend tactic of telling Impulse he’s been waiting for him to notice something. Impulse is immediately on the back foot and tries to fall back on the defense of having been gone. He guesses that Ren has a new outfit, which is true. Ren demands that Impulse look at him. Ren has a new skin on, including a spacesuit and a face that Chat thinks is very similar to Beef’s (which is true.) He has a beard and everything. Impulse says the outfit reminds him of Terra Swoop Force at MCC. Ren admits that is true. He says his chat thinks the glasses are too much. Impulse’s Chat thinks they’re great. Impulse and Ren both take off their glasses. Impulse has no eyebrows without the glasses. He says he plucks his eyebrows when he gets nervous and it’s been a rough week. Ren puts the glasses and beard back on, and shows off the handsome touches of gray in his hair. They talk about getting IRL haircuts. Ren is going back to facecam streaming and told his barber he needed a good haircut for an important meeting. He wanted a side shave, but his barber told him his head is too large for a side shave. Impulse thinks Ren has a nice head and hopes the barber didn’t hurt his feelings. Ren says the barber did a good job. Big-headed folk in chat commiserate with Ren.

33:30 Ren says he listens to the advice of professionals about how he looks, because he has no understanding of fashion or how he is supposed to look. Impulse admits he hasn’t got Ren’s stream up and can’t see how he looks, Ren admits that he hasn’t dared to turn the facecam on yet. Ren compliments how nice Impulse looks every time he streams and thinks it must take him a long time to get ready, but Impulse denies that. He does his hair once a week, puts glue in it, and is careful about how he sleeps. His wife is the closest thing to a stylist he has. She cut his hair for him for a long time. Ren talks about the value in learning a single hairstyle by muscle memory and doing it exactly the same everyday forever. Impulse agrees and tells a story about his vacation, where he couldn’t take his regular hair product. His hair was a mess his whole trip. Ren is very sympathetic. Chat thinks Impulse has bougie hair.

37:30 Ren is jealous because Impulse has a nicely-shaped head and can shave his hair off. Ren’s head is weird-shaped at the back and he has a mole, so he would look terrible if he shaved his head. He asks Impulse if he’d ever wear a toupee if he started going bald. Impulse says his dad is 70 and has a full head of hair, but he doesn’t think he’d be a combover guy. He’d probably do some kind of filler. Hopefully by that time there will be a pill or cream to grow hair. Chat is telling Impulse that the baldness gene comes down on the maternal side. Impulse reassures them that his mom also has hair. Ren says his mom is a Yeti, with very thick hair. Chat reminds Impulse that Rogaine is a thing. Ren shows off his boots, Impulse is impressed. He tells Ren that his Lore dropped today, and that it’s going to tickle Ren in all the right places. Ren is eager to see it. Impulse did make a mistake by tackling the biggest, hardest game first, and it is taking forever. Ren thinks maybe that was the right way to go, since it will regulate the size and speed of the other games.

41:00 Ren suddenly detects an INTRUDER at the truck. He shows Impulse where the actual door is and shoots a rocket at Pearl, who is standing just outside. She makes an indignant noise. Ren tells her that the oxygen out there is poisonous and full of spores, so she jumps down inside and asks Ren if he stream sniped her. Impulse also wants to know how Ren spotted Pearl. Ren says he saw the nametag through the ceiling. Pearl immediately compliments Ren on his new look. Impulse is chagrined at her superior powers of perception. He says this happens in real life with his wife too. Ren sits in the cockpit with Pearl and tells Pearl the whole embarrassing story of Impulse’s visit.

43:00 Pearl points out that she is good at seeing details, that she noticed right away that Iskall had a haircut earlier in the season. “Iskall had a haircut?” Ren asks. Pearl describes Iskall’s haircut test. Ren says there’s something different about Pearl too. Impulse says she looks older. They sing Happy Birthday to her while chasing her through the truck while she flees. She is embarrassed but thanks them. She asks Impulse for a thing. He doesn’t understand for a minute, but Chat does and helps out. Impulse provides the Birthday You-Yo. Chat celebrates. Pearl tells him he sounds better today than he did yesterday. They talk about getting sick on vacation and at cons. Pearl digs around in Ren’s shulker boxes. Ren objects, not very strenuously, and she tells him it’s her job. They point out it’s not the job of the postmaster to clean up messes, and the Cleaning Lady was Season 9. Apparently once a Cleaning Lady, always a Cleaning Lady.

46:00 Impulse asks if they have the shulker mod that shows what’s in the boxes. They do not. Impulse explains his retexture woes anyway. Someone drops a cake into the truck through the door for Pearl. Pearl suspects it was False. She sets down the cake just in time for Invisible False to pearl into the truck. Impulse and False give Pearl birthday punches, or False does while Impulse fails to punch. He blames his short arms. Ren comes back and puts a single candle on the cake and they all wish Pearl a happy first birthday. She says she doesn’t feel so old now. Pearl is not hungry enough to eat, so Ren and False give her more birthday punches. Birthday punches are not very effective when someone is wearing netherite armor. “Punch harder!” Pearl yells as she removes her netherite. Ren “punches” her with an axe. “Not that hard, not that hard!” she corrects, running away. She makes a wish and knocks the candle off the cake, then eats a bit. Ren asks what she wished, but she won’t tell or it won’t come true. He realizes that’s been his mistake all along.

49:00 Pearl eats most of the cake, then offers her friends a slice. Ren sets himself on fire to be hungry enough to eat. This alarms his friends. He finishes off the cake. They discuss the awkward IRL situation of one slice of cake left on the plate. None of them will eat it unless no one is watching and the party is nearly over. Ren asks if Pearl’s had a good birthday so far, but she points out that it is 2:48 in the morning, Pearl time, so there has not been much birthday yet. Ren asks if she has had cake anyway. Pearl says she doesn’t have a cake yet. She asks if they know that heated mousepads exist. False wants one immediately, Impulse wants the exact opposite of that. He tells them that the high in Phoenix today is 43 degrees Celsius (109 F). Nobody likes that. Chat is horrified. Pearl says no wonder he got sick, with that temperature change. Apparently it was 6 degrees in Alaska. (43 F) False said it was 15 (59 F) today in the UK. Ren has been keeping his eye on the prize and is still upset that Pearl doesn’t have IRL cake. Pearl promises that she’s going to have dinner with her family and she’ll get cake then, and she also had a strawberry doughnut.

54:10 There have been lots of Hermit birthdays recently. False and Gem both had birthdays recently, and someone else that they can’t remember. Chat knows it was Skizz. Pearl remembers Skizz, and Cleo as well. Ren thinks next year they need a birthday hall for the month of June. Pearl and False think about horoscope-themed buildings, with a really big one for Gemini. Ren thinks there’s another big batch in October, but it’s really just him. Chat points out that Geminis are born entertainers. Ren claims Bdubs as an October birthday. He reminisces about turning False’s base into a cake way, way back in Season 4. Pearl points out that as of today, the minimum Hermit age is 28. They are all getting old. Ren says they need a special celebration for when the minimum age hits 30. Impulse agrees and says they can hand out walkers to everyone. Ren suggests ear trumpets as well, while False suggests giant keyboards.

59:00 Impulse doesn’t realize how they got back to this topic when he and Ren were just talking earlier about losing their hair. False said she was listening, and educates Impulse on the existence of little tubs one can put one’s hair gel into for traveling. It takes Impulse a minute, but he figures out what she’s talking about. He says that’s a lot of work. False tells Pearl she’s a bit concerned for these guys. Pearl agrees and says they need Bdubs the hairdresser. False tries to sell them on the beneifts of long hair, but Pearl reminds her that it took her an entire day to find a bottle of hairspray in Michigan. Impulse fondly remembers the days when he used to shave his head so he wouldn’t have to do anything with it. He reiterates his story about only styling his hair once a week and using glue. False and Pearl are disgusted. He admits that is a slight exaggeration. Pearl suggests Impulse has a Lego haircut. Ren thinks Impulse just sleeps in the chair in his office and has his wife wake him up to stream. Pearl says this is why not having a facecam is the best option. Ren seems like he might be reconsidering his decision to facecam.

1:02:20 False starts teasing Ren about not uploading his VODs. Ren protests that he managed to upload a VOD just today. Impulse brags that it’s easy when you have two copies of OBS. The others are skeptical of this solution. False says no wonder it’s 40 degrees there, Impulse’s computer is on fire. Ren admires the teleprompter setup in Impulse’s office. Impulse says he likes it because staring at Chat makes them uncomfortable. Chat agrees. False stares deep into Chat’s eyes on all three streamers’ channels. They talk a little more about streaming setups. Ren declares Impulse the “smorterest” of the streamers. Impulse admits he needs to run an entire tech checklist to go live.

1:05:30 With all other conversational topics exhausted, the group decides to talk about food. Pearl is baffled that Impulse and Ren don’t like jam doughnuts. Ren clarifies that he doesn’t dislike jam doughnuts. Impulse says he doesn’t like being surprised by, like, banana doughnuts. Ren agrees and adds lime as a possibility. Pearl is horrified and says they need better doughnuts. Ren really wants to try an American Cinnabon. False tries to tell him they have Cinnabon in the UK. “Not like that,” Ren tells her. Pearl asks if any of them tried the salt doughnuts in Michigan. False and Impulse say no, Pearl says it was “really interesting” and “oddly enjoyable.” She recommends them, especially with the chicken salt she brought along. Ren is confused at “chicken salt on a doughnut.” Chat is confused by “chicken salt.” False says she’s going to salt a doughnut and complain to Pearl when it tastes bad. Pearl sputters for a minute, then demands to know whether any of them thought she was actually serious about salt doughnuts. Ren says she’s Australian, and Australians eat weird stuff. It seemed plausible. Pearl tells them she’s just Mission Possible’d all of them, that her mission was to convince them all that she’d already told them a story about something and that they’d just forgotten. Ren congratulates her, Impulse feels violated. Ren and chat are still hung up on the chicken salt thing. Pearl wonders suddenly if maybe she did it wrong, because she actually convinced them they were there for the story happening, not that they’d heard it before. They agree it counts.

1:11:00 False is a little sad that she can’t have a salted doughnut. Pearl demands to know how they can hate Vegemite and want salted doughnuts. False says Vegemite is too fishy. Pearl is mortally insulted. Impulse confirms it was Marmite and not Vegemite on the wings in Michigan. Vegemite and Marmite are similar but not the same. Ren asks if he really has to go all the way to Australia to taste Vegemite. Pearl slaps him and tells him if he actually comes to an event, she will bring him Vegemite. Impulse shills TwitchCon San Diego but Ren demurs, saying he can’t afford it. San Diego is very expensive. Pearl understands, she spent 5 grand for 5 days in Michigan. False says she might be out too, then. Impulse invites them all to stay with him and they’ll make the six hour drive each day to the con. Ren asks how much it costs to get one of those Scarbots to roll around the convention. Pearl says that if any of them want to come to Australia, they can stay at her place. Ren has family in Australia. They discuss Vegemite some more. Impulse didn’t like it on first bite, but sort of got the idea of why people might like it after a few bites. More Vegemite talk. Impulse sidebars to chat that he has no idea what he is doing, and that he has a tunnel to build. Chat assures him that they are happy and he should stay.

1:18:00 Ren mentions black pudding. Impulse asks the group what’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten. Pearl says cow’s tongue. Impulse says he once went to a fancy restaurant in French Polynesia and didn’t know what he was eating. Later he looked it up and saw it was duck liver. It was really good. False admits she doesn’t know if she has a good answer for this question. Vegemite, she decides. Pearl smacks her. Ren says he likes everything he’s eaten except oysters, but the weirdest thing he’s eaten was a Mopane Worm in South Africa, a big caterpillar that gets deep fried. Pearl asks if they tasted like chicken, he says they taste like peanuts with an earthy aftertaste that is not nice. Impulse pushes False for a better answer; she says she almost ate crocodile once but the kitchen was closed. She says she once ate a weird fruit with a bad smell, she thinks it was durian. But also Vegemite. Pearl smacks her again. Chat is vouching for durian: smells bad, tastes great. Impulse says escargot is pretty good, mushroomy. Ren says escargot also has an earthy aftertaste, and the others begin teasing him about why everything tastes like dirt to him. Ren asks if none of them ate dirt as children. Pearl says she once ate a daisy. She decides to change her answer for “weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten.”

1:22:45 Pearl decides to get her Mission Possible book to make sure everyone agrees she succeeded the task. She blasts out the roof of the truck. Impulse decides to investigate the door to try and figure out why the lever didn’t work for him when he tried it. He clicks the lever and the door opens. He hits it again and the door closes, just in time for Ren to smash his head into it and visually clip through the roof. Chat is deeply amused. False and Ren are impressed on the timing of that. False realizes that if someone clicks the lever from inside, the lever outside doesn’t work. Ren is ashamed of his terrible redstone, but False says it’s good to have a door lock he can activate from inside. Impulse is just happy to know that he wasn’t the crazy one, even if he was the one who broke in through the windshield. He and False examine the decorations of the roof. Impulse is disappointed to know that they are still polluting the planet in the futuristic future.

1:25:00 Pearl returns and reads her task to the group. They agree that she completed the task in a way that is even better than was asked for, since she convinced Impulse that he was actually present for the story that never happened. They all fly to MP HQ to watch Pearl spin. False tells them that Skizz broke the machine when he spun, so she didn’t get anything on her spin. But it’s fixed now. Pearl collects her token and spins the wheel. She gets the Sword, which is a hat that looks like she’s got a diamond sword stuck in her head. The others pretend to pull it out. Impulse makes a Sword in the Stone joke. Ren says that Pearl’s brain is too dense to get the sword out. Pearl smacks him, but Impulse tries to convince her it’s a compliment. She is skeptical, but Ren is all in.

1:28:40 Grian logs in, tells everyone in chat “Just so you know, I’m off to play badminton,” then logs out. They decide that this is a clear case of FOMO. Impulse asks if that’s the game with the birdie. False scoffs and corrects “Shuttlecock.” Pearl confirms he’s thinking of the right game. They talk about Badminton for a few minutes. Impulse says that badminton is not really a thing in America; they play pickleball instead. Everyone is baffled. He tries to explain it. Pearl asks if it’s the game with the long stick and a tiny racket on the end ((possibly lacrosse?)) Impulse says no, but that’s it’s very popular. Ren says it’s a ridiculous name and needs to be changed. Impulse demands to know how they can call something a shuttlecock and think they have the high ground for naming anything. Ren says it’s just mini tennis. He has an idea. Hermitcraft table tennis Olympics, five day round-robin event. They’d sell out a stadium. False and Pearl are deeply skeptical. Impulse thinks they should play basketball. Doc and Mumbo against each other, Impulse vs. Bdubs, etc. Pearl says she wants to play against Skizz. Impulse is very into this idea now. Ren asks diffidently what the rules are. Impulse assures him it’s just regular street ball. Ren has never played basketball. He played NBA Jam on Sega. He asks if he’s allowed to SuperDunk. False and Pearl discuss Dodgeball. Ren wants to play Pool, so nobody gets hot and sweaty. False suggests Bowls. Ren and Pearl are very enthusiastic about the idea. Impulse is baffled. “Are you saying balls?” he asks. “BOWLS,” Ren corrects hastily. Chat is amused. Ren tells False she can never call him inappropriate again. She slaps him a couple times and calls him the guy who’s never played basketball instead.

1:35:40 Ren explains bowls to Impulse, taking exquisite care to pronounce “BOWLS” each time. Chat tells Impulse it’s bocce ball. Pearl also experience pronunciation problems with bowls. Ren asks if they’ve ever played croquet, everyone says they have. Ren excitedly suggests to Pearl that they could play cricket. Impulse is not sure how it’s played, Pearl and False tell him it’s like rounders and wickets, which is unhelpful. Impulse starts feeling like he’s in a fever dream. Pearl goes to get her new mission, but she’s not going to read it out loud. False gets a mission too. Ren already has a mission. Impulse steps up to get a mission, but the game is empty. It’s very disappointing. Ren thinks this might be an excellent opportunity to do his mission. Impulse asks if it was Ren’s mission to get him to say “balls,” because if so, he won. Ren asks if the missions all have to be secret. False says most of them are all “do something or say something without the person knowing.” She says Ren could never be a good secret agent.

1:40:30 Pearl’s chat is begging her to ask Ren and False to play Wordle. Impulse thinks it’s a great idea. False demands that Ren close his chat so they don’t cheat for him. Impulse asks Chat if they want to go watch. Chat very much wants to watch. Impulse played yesterday and already knows the word, but he was not streaming so Chat will only know the word if they watched Pearl’s stream (or read the exhaustive recap.) Pearl takes them all down into the basement, where she has been building the locker room to hold inventories. False asks if a locker room means they’re going to die. Pearl says she hasn’t installed that yet. She cleans up a little buit while False and Ren read the rules and empty their inventories. Impulse turns off his facecam and goes to have a bio break while Pearl, Ren and False entertain the chat.

1:43:00 Pearl explains the game to False and Ren. It’s very much like Wordle, but there are no repeated letters and all the letter tiles are named dyes and flowers. Impulse comes back and watches along with Chat. False and Ren try to decide a starter word. Ren tries to think of a five letter word that is just vowels. He decides to play “BEAUT” and Pearl agrees this is a word because she is Australian. He gets one letter, in the wrong place.

1:48:00 Time for Round 2. Ren thinks there are eight vowels. He gets straighened out and decides he needs a word with I and O. He decides on “OINKS.” Pearl says that’s okay, so long as he doesn’t mind sacrificing a choice. Ollie Orionsound raids into the stream. Ollie’s chat tells Impulse he was playing Among Us, Impulse is very excited. He misses Among Us so much and wants to play it again. Ollie says he will let Impulse know if they run it back Ren gets one letter in the right place.

1:52:00 Ren tries to think of a third word. Pearl tells False she’ll switch the word after Ren plays so False gets a good play too. False says no thank you. She suggests to Ren that he might do well with a pen and paper. Impulse tells Chat he knows this stream is a bit scuffed, but he’s been gone and he missed his friends. He will get back to building soon. Chat is not actually in any hurry to get back to building. Ren plays “FILED” and gets none correct. Pearl realizes that he should have gotten some right and asks if the game has broken for the first time. She is worried until Ren realizes that although he showed off his guess on the item frames, he did not actually feed his guess into the game. He wasted a guess by not putting in any letters. He places the letters into the hoppers and runs the word again. Three letters lock into place, the other two are correct and in the wrong place.

1:55:30 Ren realizes there is literally only one option given the board state and plays “FIELD.” He gets the win condition. Everyone cheers! Ren tells Impulse he could’ve given him a hint that he had the letters reversed. Pearl admits she laughed when Ren decided to play Filed and not Field. Ren cleans up the supplies and puts them away, then resets the game. False definitely does not want to play, but she thinks the game is great. They discuss Wordle strategy and starter words. Impulse uses TRACE or SOUND for most of his starters, Ren thinks ADEIU would be good to get the vowels out. Pearl debates options for getting the last missing letters into the game. The game can handle the whole alphabet, but she doesn’t have enough dyes for every consonant without retexturing.

2:01:50 Pearl asks if Ren got a prize. He says yes, it had flowers and dyes. She says yes, that’s what they all have. Ren was not paying attention and makes Pearl rehash the “Why not all the letters” discussion. False suggests retexturing new, fake dyes. Pearl is ambivalent. Everyone is very impressed by Pearl’s work making the game. Impulse says she’s definitely a redstoner now, and he likes how she left it visible under the copper grates. Pearl tells Ren about the randomizer she spent four hours building yesterday, just to make sure nobody could get any hints. Other than tiny tweaks, the game is fully done and tested. Ren says there’s one thing missing: an ender chest. If hermits are going to pay, they need a chest! Impulse takes advantage of the new chest to play some horns. Pearl is going to put up a leaderboard with books so Hermits can keep track of their own streaks. Ren says Impulse is going to dominate because he plays so much Wordle. False says they need to let the old folks win some games. Ren suggests a timed version of the game, much to Impulse and False’s horror. Impulse wants a version where he can make a guess, go build for awhile, come back and guess again, etc. Pearl will make the game harder if everybody wins all the time. Ren suggests a hard mode to the game. Pearl thinks it’s doable, except it will take a _lot_ of work. Impulse feels her redstoner pain. Ren suggests an ultra-hard-mode that is just Pearl singing a countdown song and saying random words the entire time.

A suggestion about playing “BALLS” as the guess leads to an explanation of why there cannot be double letters. Ren suggests audio recording of various useful information to appear at different times in the game, like Xisuma’s TCG setup in Season 9. They brainstorm ways this could work.

2:17:00 Pearl does a little troubleshooting of the system and plays the fail sounds so they can hear it. It’s very funny. False says she should make the losers feel worse. Pearl points out that anyone who fails can pay another diamond to try again. Ren and Pearl are ending their streams, but Impulse has only placed about seven blocks today and needs to get some work done. He realizes he never did figure out what Ren wanted his brain for. Ren admits he just wanted to show off his new skin. False examines the new skin and points out the shape on the back. There is an arrow pointing to Ren’s butt. Impulse makes a suggestion that might be more risque than he intended. Chat is very amused. Pearl and False think Ren’s new skin without the glasses look like Beef, XB and Sausage. Impulse says he’s a meat lover’s pizza, a little Beef and a little Sausage. Ren says the skin will not have a tail because while he wants to be a dog, he doesn’t want to be a furry. There is a brief conversation about whether the coccyx counts as a tail. Ren decides to flee.

2:22:20 Impulse decides to head home. He says hello again to chat. This stream was supposed to be super-productive and he wants to get at least something done today. He drops back into the tunnel and sings the Secret Tunnel song, then tells Chat about the tunnel lore. He places five blocks and gets attacked by a baby zombie. He gathers more torches to light up the nearby caves. He says they may change the name of the city to DoublePulse valley, after him and Bdubs both. Neither of them are written into the story, but the city can still be named after them.

2:26:00 Impulse notes that he got so distracted that his Spotify finished the stream-safe playlist and went on to play other music. This VOD may not be monetizable. Ren raids into the stream. Impulse places one row of blocks, then starts talking to chat. A chatter asks how he feels about ducks. He is good with ducks. A chatter tells him to Google Bulk Bronson, a wrestler who looks like Impulse. Impulse can see it a little bit. He places some more blocks and talks about his vacation. 15 days ago he went to Seattle with his whole family, spent a couple days there, then went on an Alaskan cruise.

2:30:00 Impulse talks about vacation. The first day they went to the space needle and, on Scar’s recommendation, the MoPOP Museum. Everyone was wearing Pearl Jam shirts, and he didn’t realize why until later when he learned there was a Pearl Jam concert that same night, in walking distance of the hotel. He debated paying scalper prices to go to the concert, but then didn’t. He regretted not doing it. They went on the glass floor of the Space Needle. Impulse is afraid of heights so it was a little intense. Impulse didn’t get a chance to meet up with Scar or Fwhip while he was in town. Pike’s Place Fish Market was a disappointment, they do not throw the fish anymore.

2:37:10 A skeleton attacks Impulse, he tracks down where it came from to mobproof. At the hotel bar on the first night in Seattle, one of the bartenders asked Impulse if he was a gaming YouTuber. The bartender said the front desk guy recognized him. This was funny because Impulse was talking on the podcast the other week about how he never got noticed outside of cons. The cruise left on a Friday morning, headed for Alaska. It was a nice ship, a big ship, with an overwhelming amount of food. After the first couple of nights he felt sick from too much food and they stopped doing reserved dinner. There was a lot of food.

2:40:50 It took the ship two days at sea to reach Alaska. On those days, they found activities on the ship. There was a volleyball competition with one group of very skilled players who dominated everyone. Impulse’s youngest daughter plays volleyball and was very into it, so they went to watch. A guy at the tournament recognized Impulse and asked if he was Impulse. (That was Noah from the beginning of the stream.) Later they were going around the ship and there was a thing where they hide ducks on the ship. Kids can look for the ducks. Impulse’s daughter was looking for ducks, walking every level of the ship, every nook and cranny. It was a big walk. They went into a music hall to re-hide a duck she found, and while they were in there a kid approached Impulse and asked if he was Impulse. That was Colin from Tennessee, and he was very polite. Impulse’s daughter is 12 and now she thinks her dad is famous. Chat thinks Impulse is famous too. Another day went by on the cruise. Impulse and his family were going home from the pool, waiting for the elevator. Cruise ship elevators are slow, so eventually they decided to take the stairs. They went down four flights, and Impulse heard a little commotion of girls giggling above them. A woman stuck her head over the banister and asked “Are you a YouTuber? My daughters want to know.” Impulse was like “Yup.” So he met a mom and a couple of teens in the stairwell and took a picture. Impulse’s wife did not know what to do. She heard them yell “Impulse” at the top of the stairs, but she didn’t stop. It was maybe a little weird for her. Impulse’s daughter thought it was the best, though. Impulse suspects it might be because he was wearing his Life Series hoodie. He decided to stop wearing it, but his daughter put it on instead. Getting noticed was pretty fun, overall.

2:50:00 The cruise went to Sitka, a cool small town in Alaska. They had great fish and chips. Impulse pauses to consider the next steps of building. He’s actually making pretty good progress now. In Alaska they saw some whales, though not close up. The weather was cold but otherwise great, no rain. After Sitka they went to Skagway, but Impulse doesn’t remember what they did. He thinks they took a cool train ride. He is out of smooth slabs and leaves the tunnel to cook some rocks back at his base. Skagway had some interesting food, but it was good. Impulse was eating basically one big meal a day, but it was always good. The ship went to Juneau next, where they went on a dogsledding tour. They didn’t do the helicopter glacier tour because it was wildly expensive.

2:54:20 Impulse is caught up in his story and shoves his buckets of lava into the Smithing Input barrel. Chat informs him of this fact instantly, but he doesn’t catch it right away. “Nooo!” he cries when he notices it. He dives into the redstone and falls down a hole before escaping and climbing up into the smelter. He needs to stop the smelter from smelting itself. He mostly succeeds. He shows Chat some pictures from the dogsledding tour. There was no snow when they visited, so the dogs in the photo are pulling a wheeled cart. They look like very good doggos. After the cart ride, they got to meet the puppies. There is a picture of Impulse with a large and fluffy puppy, looking about as happy as he can be. Chat is charmed. Impulse says the puppy was very heavy and so cute.

2:58:00 The ship went past Dawes glacier. Glaciers are cool, and they got very close. Impulse talks about what glaciers are made of and shows a picture of a blue glacier. He gets a large dono and a nice message from a disabled vet starting his own channel. Impulse is touched and wishes him luck. He reads some other donos and subs. He talks again about going from 8C to 43C, but admits he got sick before they even got back, so it probably wasn’t the temperature. He did his best to wash his hands and use sanitizer, but cruises are disease vectors. On the last day of the cruise, they stopped in Victoria, British Columbia. Impulse woke up feeling a little sick. Victoria is a beautiful place and the weather was really nice. Impulse’s wife found a place that was supposed to have the best poutine in Victoria. They went to a pub called Irish Times and had poutine. Chat has a brief internal argument over the pronunciation of poutine. Impulse describes poutine (fries, brown gravy, fresh cheese curds but not like from Culvers, the unbreaded squeaky kind). The poutine was amazing. As he was enjoying his poutine, though, he realized he was sick. He got back on the boat and went to bed. His youngest daughter (the older two were there too, but they did their own thing on the boat most of the time) liked the bands, so she and her mom went to watch music while Impulse stayed in the room and ran a fever. He rested through the night, but woke up still sick and had to travel that way. They rushed off the boat so as not to miss their flight, and then the flight got delayed. He did his best not to complain and not to get germs on people. Eventually the plane did leave and they went home. Impulse spent two days in bed with his wife out on the couch and away from the germs. Impulse shills briefly for Factor Wellness Shots. He took every remedy he had available. After three days he started to feel better. He did not get a COVID test, but he’s much better now. It was an awesome trip with a lousy ending, but he got lots of good memories. It’s also probably the last time he’ll have a vacation with his whole family, parents and kids, together in the configuration they are now, so he wants to remember it.

3:13:00 Impulse thanks subs and donos. A chatter tells him a joke. He needs to figure out this music situation because Spotify keeps randomly picking nonsafe music after it finishes its playlist. The same thing happened to Skizz yesterday and Impulse should’ve been prepared, but he wasn’t. A chatter asks how long he’ll be streaming and he says not long. He has a podcast to record today. He shows chat how the wall light decoration works. He is justifiably proud of this. He reads off more subs and donos. He can’t believe how little progress he made today, but he had no “regerts.” He finds a random brick while digging and realizes he has almost dug into the other water elevator for Bop ‘n Go. Disaster narrowly averted.

3:17:40 A chatter asks for the podcast topic this week. Impulse says it’s dealing with failure. Most of the podcast episodes assume people can set goals and be successful at them, but they’ve never really talked about what happens when you fail and how you come back from it. He promises to keep it light, even inspirational. It’s important to embrace failure as a good thing. He hopes it’s a relatable topic, since everybody’s been there. He teases week after next with the possibility of another guest. They have a lot of people they want to get on the show, so they might have guests more often. Chat is enthusiastic and full of guesses.

3:21:00 Impulse look back and shakes his head about not even completing one full section. A chatter asks when he will come to the Netherlands. He says he’d like to one day. A chatter thanks him for inspiration to start streaming. Impulse places a few more blocks, then decides it’s time to wrap things up. He hasn’t even set up for the podcast yet. He is a slacker and Skizz is going to mock him for it. He notices that Cleo is streaming, so at least he has someone to raid into. He talks a bit more about the podcast topic for the week. A chatter asks if he reads podcast comments on Spotify. He says he does but not often, because they’re very hard to get to.

3:26:00 Impulse wraps up the stream and thanks chat for coming. It was a good coming-back stream. He reminds Chat to please, please, please watch the new video with its Important Lore. He thanks subs and donos. He tells chat he is not going to TwitchCon Rotterdam, but he will be at TwitchCon San Diego. He will double-stream on Friday, announcement soon! He raids into Cleo and ends his stream.

#hermitcraft #stream recap #impulsesv #rendog #falsesymmetry #pearlescentmoon #what impulse doesn't understand about his chat is that while they will tune in willingly to watch him build a tunnel #they are always secretly hoping for him to go faffing off and spend time with his hermit friends instead

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gooselycharm · 1 year ago

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pray tell what are your birdmen thoughts on the finale

oh man.... i just finished it today so my thoughts are very jumbled

i loved the first like 2/3 of the manga a lot! the original bird club cast charmed me SO much when the manga first started coming out. and what i really enjoyed about the story was that the sci-fi element served more as a vehicle for the casts' psychological drama and coming-of-age stories than sci-fi for its own sake. yellow tanabe spent of lot of time developing the bird club kids with so much care that when the scale of the story started expanding, i lost my initial interest... which is why i stopped reading years ago.

and catching up... yeah, i still stand by my thoughts LOL like the scope just got too huge too quickly... it seemed CRAZY to me that tsubame and sagisawa stayed behind the last 10 chapters or so like WHAT. they straight up went from main cast to minor characters... and yellow tanabe is a good character writer, so i was somewhat invested in the other groups like the american seraphim and the adams/eves, but anytime the OG bird club wasn't on screen i was just like :/ where are my kids

those are my main complaints! i enjoyed the slower smaller more psychological and interpersonal storytelling of the first half compared to the more philosophical and global scale of the second half. like please tell me more about kamoda's ex-basketball club. legitimately i want to know more about that rather than the fate of the world sjfsd;jfgkdf

but that's not to say i completely hated the second half! like omg..... it got so gay..... like wtf.... sorry eishi about your life. and how in love you are with the world's most inscrutable and cryptic 15 year old. i guess the tradeoff for yaoi is good writing. well. that's fine. no but i did enjoy the focus on the two of them even if came at the expense of the completely sidelining of the other 3 bird club members :'( sorry y'all don't have a homoerotic quasi-religious counterpart to share a dreamscape with

similarly, this is how i felt about kekkaishi's run too. the last time i read it was like 7 years ago, so i don't remember it that great, but i think i enjoyed the beginning/middle of it the most and was dissatisfied with its ending as well

also i echo this post by simkjrs, an artist i like, which actually prompted my reread!

but in the end we have this picture so its okay. at least my favorite character didn't die mid-series this time, thank you for that yellow tanabe

EDIT: realized you asked specifically about the finale and i didn't.... really say anything about the last chapter LOL. my main gripe is that it felt very rushed -- we have so much build up to the seven meeting and what kind of decision they're going to make and then it all just kind of - ends? like they just kinda came to an offscreen consensus or something...?

in general it felt like this big climax that everything was building up to, all these different factions and sides, just all got swept aside and tidied up. the part where robin and her crew get greeted by this loving crowd especially threw me for a loop like WHAT... how does this happen??? just feels like we skipped several steps LOL.

but it's a sweet little ending, with seraphs and humans co-existing and determining their own fate... and the one thing i REALLY like is eishi being some government representative like that cracks me tf up it's so funny. you spend ages 15-16 on an international adventure fighting the worlds most morally bankrupt accelerationists and then ages 16 onwards as a teenage bureaucrat. amazing.

plus: apparently takayama gives up on becoming a timeline-hopping?? space-faring?? angelic being?? to stay guy who rescues cats and (APPARENTLY?) HAS A JOB? wow. what being in love does to a god.

#im post #birdmen #sorry for like spamming your posts btw. theyre good posts

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emmathecasualauthor · 25 days ago

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2, 4,6,8,10,12,16,24 chose violence game

😈

I see you're choosing violence as well

Bet.

Thanks for the ask!! I'll do my best to answer :)

4: what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Genuinely I haven't blocked anyone haha. Unless you count the porn bots. I've blocked plenty of those.

6: which ship fans are the most annoying?

Jegulus fans make me depressed ngl. the more they try to get me to ship it the more I resist

8: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

This is so controversial but I actually like the epilogue. Truly.

10: worst part of fanon

The characterization of Remus. Lupin. Oh good heavens the damage that has been done to his character. rip remus you'd hate it here.

12: the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Andromeda black deserves so much more love than she gets She's such a complex and often underappreciated character. Despite her birth into the Black family, she defies the rigid, prejudiced ideals that surround her, and at a potential cost to her life. she's iconic and I love her.

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

I will never ever understand why people like the idea of Dramione. I've tried to like it, really I have, but I just can't do it.

19: you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Okay so. Here's the thing. I kind of lowkey seriously ship Harry/Parvati Patil. Like. I think they had potential. Mainly because of one singular interaction where they share a mutual exasperation at Ron and Lavender's constant make out sessions. I can see them bonding over this and reconciling that horrible Yule Ball date. They become friends and then write letters over the summer and- Well there you go. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily ashamed or mad, per se, but as a hardcore Hinny shipper it makes me die a little inside.

24: topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Whether or not James Potter was a bully to Snape. You could absolutely argue that he was, but also apparently Snape gave as good as he got. But yeah generally speaking I stay away from that discourse and don't touch it with a ten-foot pole

Thanks again for the ask!!

Choose violence ask game

(sorry I had to do some major edits to this because I'm so sleep deprived and got the numbers mixed up lol i hate me)

#fandom opinions #lavender brown deserves better #remus lupin #tumblr asks #hinny #harry x parvati #tell me I'm not the only one who sees it #james potter vs snape #hp headcanons #thanks for the ask #choose violence ask game #harry potter epilogue #anti jegulus #I suppose #andromeda black #she's iconic

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worldsentwined · 9 months ago

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oooo 1, 7 and 17!!! what fascinating questions!!

Right?? These questions are fascinating but they are also COMING FOR ME SO HARD hahahaha

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? Here is another one for my therapist lol, I feel like I am in a constant state of picking apart what made me Like This. In a fun turn of events, I now have 3 asks in my inbox and all of you asked this question, so each of you is going to get one third of this answer in your ask. So here's Thing Number One!

First and most Obviously Traumatic is getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 10, which has had a huge impact on how I think and how I manage my life. Pros: this has wired my brain to Stay On Top Of Things* and go to the doctor regularly and create routines that will support my overall health etc etc. I'm very good at managing it, to the point that I don't even realize how much extra work I'm doing until someone points it out, and it also makes me predisposed to handle other things in a similar way. Cons: if any piece of this careful system gets disrupted (lose my job and therefore health insurance, forget to pick up a prescription, insulin pump breaks**, etc) I WILL DIE. Or at least, some of these things could kill me, so that is what my anxiety tells me whenever anything disruptive happens. Additional con, I have SO much anxiety. Apparently this is what happens when your brain has to do the job of your pancreas. *while typing this last night I realized something had gotten Very Fucked Up with my insulin pump supply order, which so derailed me that I had to save this as a draft and come back to it a day later. Which gives a bad impression of the competence I'm describing, but the supplier for my insulin pump supplies is so incompetent that it negates all of my efforts on a regular basis. **my insulin pump breaking and the ensuing anxiety spiral around choosing a new one is the thing that finally got me to find a therapist. Which, thank god I did, but still.

7. what scares you the most and why? I didn't mean for the last question to segue into this when I started answering it, but see above for one of the top contenders. I'm afraid of a lot of things, to the point where I can't often articulate what specifically scares me about a situation, but "catastrophic failure of the medical device keeping me alive" is pretty clear-cut. The fact that I've been through it once and survived it does not seem to help. I do actually have contingency plans in place in the event of something like that happening again (I have to keep a whole separate kind of insulin around that I keep throwing away without using it just in case my pump breaks and I have to go back to injections. Which makes me furious, but that's another post) but it's still terrifying.

17. name 3 things that make you happy Thank god this question is last haha, I need to recover from the first two.

Singing! And music in general, but getting to be Part Of The Music is a nice bonus. It has been really good to have a group of people to sing with on a regular basis, and now that I live by myself I can just wander around the house singing whenever I want.

Going for walks in the park. I was so mad when I accidentally tricked myself into having a regular exercise routine a few years ago (this was also for diabetes anxiety related reasons) but yeah it turns out that going outside for my silly little lunch break walk is good for my mood as well as my blood sugar. Also sometimes I get asked for directions by tourists and it feels nice if I can actually help them.

Weirdly specific one, but people remembering my dietary restrictions (have to eat gluten free in addition to being diabetic) and cooking me food or choosing a restaurant to accommodate them without having to be reminded. Some of my friends (who cook a lot of stir fry and other rice-based stuff) keep a bottle of tamari around specifically so they can use it instead of soy sauce if I'm coming over.

#thanks for asking!#this one got INTENSE haha #but it's good to talk about #turns out that never talking about the things causing me anxiety was causing more anxiety #who'da thunk?#replies

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orangesunsets12 · 2 years ago

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15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thanks so much to @mentallyundone for the tag, I appreciate it! This was super fun!

Are you named after anyone? No, I don't think so, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about that or not. I love having a unique name in the family, but being named after someone is so cool!

When was the last time you cried? I think...yesterday? I don't cry too frequently, I usually get upset about things by panicking a lot and overthinking, but yesterday was a hard day

Do you have kids? Nope, I haven't even went on a date yet lol. I'm a single pringle, and I always have been! Though, it would be nice to have a boyfriend lol. All of my friends are dating and here I am being all alone lol. But it's not too bad...then I have more fanfic writing time! So, yeah, no kids.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Occasionally, but not too often. I'm not a very sarcastic person.

What sports do you play/have you played? I don't really play sports, I only did gym in high school and nothing more. Though, I do enjoy basketball (I'm not very good at it) and I like curling, too.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Probably their hair. I love seeing the different styles of hair people have, I'm not sure if it tells me much about them, but it's still something that I notice pretty much right away.

What’s your eye color? Blue. It isn't a vibrant blue, it's more dark, and it's not too noticeable.

Scary movies or happy endings? Probably happy endings, as much as I want to, I don't really watch horror movies, I've actually never watched one. But I still want to see some eventually. If anyone has any horror movie recommendations for newbies to the horror genre, please let me know! I don't want anything too scary to start lol. For the question, happy endings 100%, but I love a sad ending, too.

Any special talents? Not really...the only one I can think of is being able to drink super cold drinks faster than most people. Is that a talent, or just a sign that I need to stop drinking sugary, cold drinks and stuff?

Where were you born? I was born in my family home, not a hospital, which I learned early on is a bit strange. Apparently being born at home is rare?

What are your hobbies? I love writing, playing Minecraft Skyblock, and reading, but lately I haven't been reading much.

Do you have pets? Yup! I have three dogs, and they probably my best friends. They're all mixed breeds, so they look a bit goofy, but they're really cute.

How tall are you? I haven't measured myself in a while, but I think I'm 5 foot 9 or 5 foot 10.

Favorite subject in school? Either English or a media class that I took, in which I learned how to edit videos, make movies and stuff like that. It was really fun! As for English, I've always had incredible teachers, so they made it super fun! One of my teachers actually let me write a fanfic for a final assignment lol. But, I don't understand Shakespeare at all. That was the worst part of English class for me.

Dream job? I really, really want to be a full time author. I really want to write books for a living...it would be amazing. But, for now, I'll be working in retail

Thanks again for the tag, @mentallyundone, this was super fun! I may have overshared...but it was fun!

No pressure tags: @idiot-stevie @rockfact @ducky-died-inside @icedteaandoldlace @amethystandemma @angstydeaddragon @outlawcare @targetf0rce @blueskiesandstarrynights @strangerthingfanfic (I didn't know who else to tag , so anyone else who isn't tagged but wants to do this feel free to!)

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thetiredstuff · 2 years ago

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Oh shit are shows usually picked up quickly?

hi anon!! idk hahaha i have no clue how this business works. idk like last time i remember cancellations happening that made noooo sense were of lucifer, which got picked up by netflix & brooklyn 99, which got picked up by nbc. 911 got cancelled but it got picked up by abc before the news was even made public. and while i don't remember it well i believe b99 got picked up like a couple of days after fox canceled it (yeah just looked it up. b99 news got out may 10 and got picke dup by nbc may 11). lucifer took a bit longer i believe (just looked it up. it got canceled may 10 and apparently only got picked up by netflix june 15 so took more than a month?) those are the only two shows i remember getting canceled by one network and then getting picked up by another (or a streaming service) but b99 was incrediblyyyyyyy popular and already had 5 seasons. and lucifer was also really popular and had multiple seasons under its belt as well.

edit: okay so @sunglassesmish just reminded me manifest got canceled by nbc in june and then got picked up by netflix in august (lol why did i forget this? i literally watch this show??) it took about a month and a half for it to get picked up so seems like between now and about 2 months is the time frame we should be getting an answer butttt manifest also had multiple seasons already.

the winchesters only has 1 season. i mean it seemed to be doing really well on hbo max internationally and domestically so i would hope that hbo max would pick it up but i would have liked to already gotten that news by now.

on the other hand. both windy and kung fu were canceled and both the news articles about these shows state that WB had looked at other homes for these shows but didn't find any. the winchesters on the other hand by the looks of it is being heavily shopped around behind the scenes given that they started the hashtag campaign and also a lot of news outlets are writing about this hashtag campaign and cancelation. news outlets love writing about whatever but it makes me wonder how much of them are writing about it because they got a press release from WB and or CM which would be another indicator of shopping it around.

but they tried shopping windy and kung fu around as well before the news of the cancellation broke yet no biters. so i'm guessing this hashtag campaign is more so because there is a potential interested partner to pick up the winchesters, which i would guess is hbo (i wouldn't know where else they'd possibly go) and this campaign is like the final push to them to show that there is ample interest. or the deal is basically as good as done and this is just like added campaigning for their newly-required product which will then boost the products' numbers once a new season airs.

idk but i don't like this limbo and even looking at b99 and lucifer or other shows that got canceled and then saved by another network or streaming service, this is occuring during a writer strike. that throws a massive wrench in any plans for scripted television. (i am on the side of the writers tho!! fuck the studios whoarding money and not willing to pay that 3% extra and fuck them wanting to use AI scripts and fuck their day-rate writer idea). but when the writer strike in 2008 happened, it saw an uptick in reality tv because you don't need writers for that or for those who say reality tv is scripted, you don't need as many writers for that. it's why the cw is going for their fuck boy and fuck girl island show. it's cheap. so i don't know. this stuck in limbo shit while a writer's strike is happening and with studios being assholes makes me nervous because i love spnwin but moreover, spnwin is part 1 of what i'm sure is jensen's plan to expand the spn universe. but if spnwin gets canceled after 1 season and doesn't get picked up, it's gonna be a lot harder to make an spn universe.

but again i am saying this when i know nothing about anything

#spnwin #anon #ask #answered

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bifidonut · 2 years ago

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wow it’s been a while since I’ve done a little ask game, ty @wackmxter ✨

(apparently the app doesn't let you copy more than one line of text at a time 🥴 so now that i finally am opening my laptop this week here i am)

15Qs / 15 Mutuals

lol idk if i even have 15 (active) mutuals these days so uhhhh i'll just tag @asthma-goddess @actualhero @j1r4ch2 @uglyluckylucky and if anyone else wants to do this one go nuts, i'm not tagging more people because i'm shy 👉👈

1. Are you named after anyone?

nah my mom got my name from a baby name book in the 90s BUT what's wild is that she gave me and my brother Irish names based on the fact that she was told my grandma's birth family was Irish... which is wild because we had no proof of that until like 2 years ago when she was able to find half of my grandma's birth family thru those genetic testing family tree sites. so it's a good thing that was true because it would have been kinda weird in hindsight if we weren't

2. When was the last time you cried?

um 🧍‍♀️. like an hour ago while i was in the shower... i think i'm PMSing a little bit because it kinda came on suddenly and then i was fine lol

3. Do you have kids?

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

listen if you lived with my boyfriend you would too

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

hmmm idk beyond basic physical appearance stuff like height/hair color/whatever i guess maybe their sense of style and how they seem to present themselves?

6. What’s your eye color?

hazel

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

bold of you to assume those are mutually exclusive, person who wrote this initially! anyways both.

8. Any special talents?

i think i'm fairly perceptive, and i'm also good at blowing bubbles

9. Where were you born?

colorado 🏔🦌⛺

10. What are your hobbies?

scrolling on my fucking phone forever if we're being real but i also like cooking, baking, video games, listening to podcasts, and maybe someday getting back into reading

11. Have you any pets?

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

i played soccer for like. a year not even when i was 6 or 7. i'm a delicate flower though so sports weren't really ever my thing lol

13. How tall are you?

5' 1"

14. Favorite subject in school?

science or biology specifically in hs

15. Dream job?

been thinking about this lately... currently i work in the R&D department of a biotech company and i like it a lot for the most part, and in general i really enjoy being a research scientist but i don't think it's a job i want to be in forever... in no small part because the role i'm in now is sort of "entry" level, so you're sort of naturally expected to rise through the ranks over the years but these days it just gets harder and harder to do that without a master's degree or higher. so i think i might go back to school once i decide what kind of specialty i would want to be in and then i think settling into a more established scientist role could be nice. but honestly i also think i'd make a pretty decent lab manager since i'm insane lol. also considered pivoting into science writing for a spell because i think that could be something i could do on a part time/freelance basis if i find myself in the family way but idk.

tl;dr i currently do science and would like to keep doing science without ruining my hands by pipetting for like 40 years

#keelposting #about

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323398149 · 15 hours ago

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i don't know how I feel.

Which probs is a bad sign

I should probs be happy right?

I'm just scared

I'm scared of like abuse lol

Plot twist is that z probably right and I need to be in therapy for what happened with Uber because it might have had lasting impact and stuff that I should probs be working through

Lol like even just the fact that I think of Uber at all feels messed up since it's literally been 10 years and it was literally just 3 months but I'm always afraid of what if this new person ends up getting mad at me for something different every day. Like y'all remember what a chokehold dear John had on me right?

You paint me a blue sky And go back and turn it to rain And I lived in your chess game But you changed the rules every day

^ I never ever want to live that ever again. That is one of my biggest fears and such a fear that I've been too scared to experience life since then because what if that happens. And everyday I'm desperately trying to convince someone not to be mad at me. And then I'm mad at them and it goes in circles and is miserable 90% of the time. And ur just always apologizing to each other and sometimes it's good but mostly it sucks and there's just heavy mental illness and lack of confidence all around in the air

Yesterday night I was feeling super positive like it'll all be fine and I need to not over think it and just roll with the punches

Then this morning I was like but if you're already not happy and afraid of them being upset like that's not a good sign. They should be wooing you right now and trying to get YOU to like THEM. If you're ALREADY doing the opposite and trying to say the right thing, that doesn't seem healthy 😞

I shouldn't like a person more than they like me. THAT was where I went wrong that first time. Low-key it's where I went wrong with Joe and capstone lol. I'm always the one that people pleases and nobody wants that. Nobody deserves that. People want to interact authentically as well.

They probably don't want ppl to go the extra mile for them and be thoughtful and considerate??? Lol idekm but that's what branch used to tell me. He'd always tell me that I was too nice and accommodating and that's why uber ended up being mean to me because he knew I'd still be nice and that I'd take it. Lol until they finally feel bad enough about what they're doing and I put them in an awkward spot where they don't want to be shitty to me and they know I don't deserve it so they let me leave like Uber did.

ANYWAYS whatever the point is I need to get help lollllll I'm not emotionally well when it comes to men. And I don't know how I can be like a good Muslim girl but protect myself from abuse. Cause the line gets so blurry. A good Muslim girl is supposed to follow all these rules that COULD put her in a place of abuse and once she's in the road out is difficult af. So then what do you do? Be Haram? Idek where I stand on these things. I know God is obviously the most divine and his rules have wisdom. I'm just hesitant to believe that they're being interpreted that right way. Cause that way doesn't compute for me. I genuinely don't believe that God would want to isolate women and make them susceptible to abuse. I feel he's the most merciful and he loves us and he wouldn't do that to us. So then what am I left with lol how do I stand by that? Idk I'm confused

The funniest part is how Uber used to argue this very thing with me about feminism and how it contradicts islam lol apparently his views are popular and idk how to feel about that. I thought he was a one off and young and our generation would grow up to be better than men of the past. But I was too hopeful lol they all still want to use religion to push us down. It's so hurtful because they're taking something I love and turning it into a knife and turning the knife towards me. I see the faith as the beautiful connection you get to have directly with God. To me it's a sense of safety and comfort. And now.... I'm like oh it's being used to isolate me. Cut me off from the world. I'm supposed to be happy in a small safe isolated bubble WHICH I AGREE SOUNDS LIKE THE INTROVERTS DREAM. But back to what I started out talking about at the top - I'm just scared of if I end up in that bubble with a meanie who changes the rules every day and then I'm stuck and can't get out. That sounds like hell. And I need to decide I'm willing to take that gamble and step into the bubble and allow it to be sealed up around me. I need to decide if I'm ready to gamble on if this person is gonna be another uber or not. For one Uber DID make me feel happy af at the beginning so maybe this person keeping it real and not having me all head over heels is a GOOD thing. Because love bombing is toxicity101 and this is definitely not that.

So yeah writing it out tells me that I should listen to myself from last night and just trust the process and be ok with whatever comes my way lol. I can't control everything and Imma have to take a gamble. All good and bad comes from Him so I just gotta accept whatever happens in the bubble and step in because apparently he wants me to be in it. All I gotta do is have the right intention. So even if ppl misinterpreted his words to serve themselves well He will know that I put myself in that place because I believed that it's what He wanted of me and hopefully that will be rewarded in a way that makes it worth it lol. I just gotta pray and trust that He wont send me back into a dear John typa situation unless he knows I can handle it and has a bigger plan for me in the long term.

Lol ok inshallah we will check back with amms in a year and she'll be happy and thriving lollllll

#personal #tp #f24

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luciamedfina86 · 9 months ago

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4d ago

april 2024 camp nano wip intro - when comes the dawn

this is just something silly :)

taglist: @bloomingwrites @writinglyra @zmwrites @trapped-inadystopianovel @inky-duchess @aalinaaaaaa @seasteading @kaatiba @lazulis-stuff @serpentarii @sourrcandy @charlesjosephwrites @marrowwife @forever-and-almost-always @halcionic

Slide transcripts under the cut!Keep readingExpand

#pls don't take this seriously#if u see any typos no you dont#wtwcommunity#writeblrgarden#writeblr#collection.my projects#series.wctd#collection.events#event.camp nano april 2024

Blaze

105 notes

Mar 4

I love when I'm writing a scene casually, not really focused or worried about proper grammar because it's only the rough draft and my attention is split elsewhere... But then I suddenly figure out how to write that one specific missing scene, bridging all the gaps, tying up every lose end. It feels so good. Like how it physically feels pressing the final puzzle piece in. My brain feels good.

#life of a writer#writers of tumblr#creative writing#writers#writer#writing#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writblr#author#authors#queer author

Blaze

127 notes

sugar-phoenixFollow

Mar 10

born to write the beginning and ending, forced to write the middle part.

#writeblr#writing#on writing#writers#writing community

Tip

Blaze

437 notes

1h ago

Don’t normally post the artworks I make for my swap AU fic on here, but I’m really proud of this piece so here you go lol

Apparently I’m just a sucker for angst involving religious symbolism huh

(For those who are interested in the other artworks I’ve made for the swap AU, they’re up on my AO3)

#van helsing#lawrence van helsing#hammer dracula#peter cushing#alternate universe#my art

Blaze

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luciamedfina86

veneritia

april 2024 camp nano wip intro - when comes the dawn

this is just something silly :)

Slide transcripts under the cut!

[TRANSCRIPT BEGINS]

Slide 1: Title slide

When Comes the Dawn, book 1 of 2

Slide 2: wdym my fantasy story has to have magic?

Set in a fantasy world loosely set in the late antiquities/early middle ages., where everyone alive has the capability to harness magic. But actually using it requires strict and intensive education (and maybe a phD or 5) so most people only know very basic spells.

In Trinitarian belief, it’s believed that the goddess Meidther gave her blood to bring humans to life, and because of that people are imbued with magic. No living person can be alive without magic because it’s literally impossible! Wait -- the emperor of Aetier has a what????

So there’s this weird phenomenon where on very rare occasions, babies will be born without magic. Called “deadbornes”, these babies are incompatible with life and usually end up passing away minutes to days later. With one notable exception (we’ll circle back to this later)

Slide 3: the set-up

The Empire of Aetier (or if you ask any local: “the gods’ specialist little empire”) has a very unique way of handling succession in the imperial family. That way is murder. Just murder. All heirs plot against one another in a formal-informal system called “The King’s Game.” It’s supposed to be a competition of skills, but it’s kind of warped itself into state-sanctioned fratricide (NOT to be confused with a battle royale. That’s just uncouth /j)

The last King’s Game ended 22 years ago, when Dantalion vi Aetier defeated and killed his half-sister in battle. As the victor, he crowned himself the new Vasilier of the empire and proceeded to bring in a new golden age of prosperity for his people. And nothing is wrong and everything is beautiful, and there is no way this can go wrong

... right?

It all starts on the day Fenice was born... where instead of being the healthy and uber powerful child Dantalion expected her to be, Fenice turns out to be a deadborne. Deadbornes are considered harbingers of ill omens, and siring one is a terrible way to start your new reign. And even stranger still is the fact that Fenice...doesn’t die? Someone call the priest and ask them what does it mean if your death omen refuses to go away

Slide 4: The plot

The end of the Hesperia-Aetier war brought new lands under the Empire’s rule, and with it, new ways to gain power and prestige in the Imperial Court. The biggest thorn in the empire atm is that Hesperia’s last king is still wandering the lands somewhere, waiting to strike.

Imperessa Fenice vi Aetier (who’s still alive and kicking) just lost her mom in the war, and now she’s desperate to prove herself to her estranged father that she’s more than a disappointment and wasted potential. And what better way to do that than to succeed him as the next Vasilier?

The problem? Only those that undergo an Ascension are considered legitimate contenders for the throne. The other problem? Dantalion won’t give her one.

Fenice: “Trade offer: I receive my own province to rule and an Ascension. You receive the head of the deposed king of Hesperia.” Dantalion: “Deal. But you have to marry his brother though” Fenice: “What”

[in big, bold, italicized font] disclaimer: this is not a romance

Slide 5: The plot pt. 2

Now wedded and gifted with a province of her own to rule , Fenice actually has to set-up her own power base and follow through with her end of the deal to find and kill the runaway king, as well as extinguish the rebellions he’s so keen on igniting.

But the more she looks for him, the more she realizes he’s being backed by someone much more powerful. But who?

And on totally unrelated note, there seems to be some weird rumors going around of some guy claiming to be Aretos vi Aetier, the son of the very same person Dantalion killed during the King’s Game 20+ years back. But that’s obviously fake news. Surely no one will fall for it!

Slide 6: The POV characters

[image description, the slide is split into two parts with fenice on the left and nikephoros on the right. end image description]

[heading ] fenice vi aetier

[image description: a face claim of the character is displayed on an arched frame, the model is female,has long red hair, pale skin, and an intense gaze]

20, she/her, imperessor of Aetier, Kaisarim of Isidore

the deadborne child that just won’t die

The most calculative and petty bitch you will ever meet

Has the constitution of a sick Victorian lady

Has an inferiority complex so bad it loops back around to a superiority complex

May have met god. not entirely sure

(Debuff) (unremovable) an off-putting aura that cancels out all magic in her immediate vicinity

Ginger

She’s soooo aroace

[heading ] nikephoros deominos

[image description: a face claim of the character is displayed on an arched frame, the model is male, has short light brown hair, is wearing a red sweater, and has his chin tucked into the crook of his arm, while leaning off the arm of a sofa. end image description.]

24, he/him, prince-consort, prince of Hesperia

has been having the worst day of his life for 5 years in a row and counting

his country? conquered. his brother? in hiding. his sister? captive. himself? trying not to die of liver failure

the opposite of a wife guy, the only person he hates more than his wife is his father-in-law loves his family, would be nice to see them though.

generally a nice guy but recent events has him very stressed and angry 24/7

has murderous urges almost all the time

At the bottom middle of the slide it says "married in body but divorced in spirit."

Slide 7: Major characters (spar's notes edition)

(no pictures bc face claimsare hard :(

[heading] dantalion vi aetier

47, he/him, vasilier of the empire

a living legend that all history nerds of the future would study

the dilfiest dilf to ever dilf

has many kids. is a father to maybe one of them

has many wives. is a husband to one, maybe two of them

canonically extremely pretty

surprisingly the only vi aetier to recieve the “kinslayer” epithet despite all previous generations also...slaying kin

Is a wife guy but for a specific wife only

conquered Hesperia as a pride thing

[heading] titania of taul

45, she/her, late vasilia of the empire

the most badass woman to ever walk the face of the earth

mother to fenice and first wife to the guy on the left

she dies before the book starts but she’s still present in the story because death has nothing on her

has many fun epithets such as “the strongest mage,” and “the scourge of men”

Titania is to Hesperians as Hannibal was to the Romans

A+ fighter, B+ mom

Not brought up or relevant in the story, but did you know no one knows who her mother is. One day, her dad just walked out into the wilderness to hunt and then a couple weeks or months later came back with Titania. no explanation was given

Slide 8: major characters cont.

[heading] andras vi drochona

44, he/him, imperessor of Aetier

Dantalion’s only full-blooded sibling, and also his only living sibling

the vasilier’s right hand man

lopped off his own sword arm to prove his loyalty

Designated a forever bachelor by the government

terrible at being comforting

likes to mess with his nieces and nephews

[heading] charles vi aetier

18, he/him, imperessor of Aetier

dantalion’s second child

everyone’s favorite person and can do no wrong

has to always be ok or he’ll detonate like a nuke

achilles coded bi-disaster, take that however you will

a disney prince trapped in game of thrones someone please help this boy out he just wants his family to get along

absolute mama’s boy

[heading] sola eidos

27, he/him

that is not his real name, he made it up

could be the star of his own book ngl

primarily deals in information nowadays but sometimes he misses the adrenaline rush that comes from a well-executed assassination. this is what lands him in fenice’s hands

his secrets have secrets, that’s why his hair is so big

slide 9: major characters cont.

[heading] isandros deominos

28, he him, king of Hesperia

Nike’s older half-brother

Had the worst start of a reign ever. He’s proclaimed king and then immediately has to flee into hiding

hates Aetier with a burning passion

is Stressed TM and in dire need for some hot cocoa

[heading] leda vi bryennia

48, she/her, honored fidari

long story short, she once witnessed Titania fight and covered in blood and had such a massive girl-crush she swore to be Titania’s knight the second she was asked

helped raise fenice and is now serves her as her guardian/protector. that is her child thank you very much

had a shounen-style rivals-to-friends-to-lovers arc with fellow fidari Thetis. It’d be great if it wasn’t for their explosive break-up

[heading] sartore vitae

28, he/him

he can mansplain, manipulate, and manwhore his way into and out of any situation

has a cool eye-patch

is maybe a little too invested with Fenice’s relationship with her father

he WISHES he was as cool as lelouch lamperouge

+ many more characters! (seriously this cast is huge)

slide 10: featuring

way too much extraneous worldbuilding

court intrigue

morally dark gray protagonist

family as your allies and family as your enemies

lots of near-death experiences

no romantic subplot!

too many code geass references

slide 11: camp nano goals

write everyday

2wrte 15,000 words total

reach 50,000 words on my draft

slide 12: fin

[image description: the final slide is full of discord screenshots of funny jokes and commentary about the wip. ]

[end transcript]

For EveryoneReblog

april 2024 camp nano wip intro - when comes the dawn

this is just something silly :)

Slide transcripts under the cut!

[TRANSCRIPT BEGINS]

Slide 1: Title slide

When Comes the Dawn, book 1 of 2

Slide 2: wdym my fantasy story has to have magic?

Slide 3: the set-up

... right?

Slide 4: The plot

The problem? Only those that undergo an Ascension are considered legitimate contenders for the throne. The other problem? Dantalion won’t give her one.

[in big, bold, italicized font] disclaimer: this is not a romance

Slide 5: The plot pt. 2

But the more she looks for him, the more she realizes he’s being backed by someone much more powerful. But who?

Slide 6: The POV characters

[image description, the slide is split into two parts with fenice on the left and nikephoros on the right. end image description]

[heading ] fenice vi aetier

[image description: a face claim of the character is displayed on an arched frame, the model is female,has long red hair, pale skin, and an intense gaze]

20, she/her, imperessor of Aetier, Kaisarim of Isidore

the deadborne child that just won’t die

The most calculative and petty bitch you will ever meet

Has the constitution of a sick Victorian lady

Has an inferiority complex so bad it loops back around to a superiority complex

May have met god. not entirely sure

(Debuff) (unremovable) an off-putting aura that cancels out all magic in her immediate vicinity

Ginger

She’s soooo aroace

[heading ] nikephoros deominos

24, he/him, prince-consort, prince of Hesperia

has been having the worst day of his life for 5 years in a row and counting

his country? conquered. his brother? in hiding. his sister? captive. himself? trying not to die of liver failure

the opposite of a wife guy, the only person he hates more than his wife is his father-in-law loves his family, would be nice to see them though.

generally a nice guy but recent events has him very stressed and angry 24/7

has murderous urges almost all the time

At the bottom middle of the slide it says "married in body but divorced in spirit."

Slide 7: Major characters (spar's notes edition)

(no pictures bc face claimsare hard :(

[heading] dantalion vi aetier

47, he/him, vasilier of the empire

a living legend that all history nerds of the future would study

the dilfiest dilf to ever dilf

has many kids. is a father to maybe one of them

has many wives. is a husband to one, maybe two of them

canonically extremely pretty

surprisingly the only vi aetier to recieve the “kinslayer” epithet despite all previous generations also...slaying kin

Is a wife guy but for a specific wife only

conquered Hesperia as a pride thing

[heading] titania of taul

45, she/her, late vasilia of the empire

the most badass woman to ever walk the face of the earth

mother to fenice and first wife to the guy on the left

she dies before the book starts but she’s still present in the story because death has nothing on her

has many fun epithets such as “the strongest mage,” and “the scourge of men”

Titania is to Hesperians as Hannibal was to the Romans

A+ fighter, B+ mom

Slide 8: major characters cont.

[heading] andras vi drochona

44, he/him, imperessor of Aetier

Dantalion’s only full-blooded sibling, and also his only living sibling

the vasilier’s right hand man

lopped off his own sword arm to prove his loyalty

Designated a forever bachelor by the government

terrible at being comforting

likes to mess with his nieces and nephews

[heading] charles vi aetier

18, he/him, imperessor of Aetier

dantalion’s second child

everyone’s favorite person and can do no wrong

has to always be ok or he’ll detonate like a nuke

achilles coded bi-disaster, take that however you will

a disney prince trapped in game of thrones someone please help this boy out he just wants his family to get along

absolute mama’s boy

[heading] sola eidos

27, he/him

that is not his real name, he made it up

could be the star of his own book ngl

primarily deals in information nowadays but sometimes he misses the adrenaline rush that comes from a well-executed assassination. this is what lands him in fenice’s hands

his secrets have secrets, that’s why his hair is so big

slide 9: major characters cont.

[heading] isandros deominos

28, he him, king of Hesperia

Nike’s older half-brother

Had the worst start of a reign ever. He’s proclaimed king and then immediately has to flee into hiding

hates Aetier with a burning passion

is Stressed TM and in dire need for some hot cocoa

[heading] leda vi bryennia

48, she/her, honored fidari

long story short, she once witnessed Titania fight and covered in blood and had such a massive girl-crush she swore to be Titania’s knight the second she was asked

helped raise fenice and is now serves her as her guardian/protector. that is her child thank you very much

had a shounen-style rivals-to-friends-to-lovers arc with fellow fidari Thetis. It’d be great if it wasn’t for their explosive break-up

[heading] sartore vitae

28, he/him

he can mansplain, manipulate, and manwhore his way into and out of any situation

has a cool eye-patch

is maybe a little too invested with Fenice’s relationship with her father

he WISHES he was as cool as lelouch lamperouge

+ many more characters! (seriously this cast is huge)

slide 10: featuring

way too much extraneous worldbuilding

court intrigue

morally dark gray protagonist

family as your allies and family as your enemies

lots of near-death experiences

no romantic subplot!

too many code geass references

slide 11: camp nano goals

write everyday

2wrte 15,000 words total

reach 50,000 words on my draft

slide 12: fin

[image description: the final slide is full of discord screenshots of funny jokes and commentary about the wip. ]

[end transcript]

135 notes · View notes

methodrones · 1 year ago

Text

album review : spacegirl and other favorites

released: 1993 or 1995

genre: shoegaze, psychedelic rock

continuing strong with bjm's second album, spacegirl! similar to pol pot, there's definitely some confusion around when this album was released. it's essentially a collection of older demos, mainly recorded in '93 as far as i understand it, but the details get muddled around an actual release date. nonetheless, this is an album i've always really loved but i've never taken a deep dive listen into it before! let's just say this is shoegaze central and i'm excited to jump back into it. i'm also glad that i can finally analyze lyrics lol.

also, anton genuinely writing a special thanks to "our fans everywhere and women" for this album has me dying. i love it.

on to the songs!

crushed

this is definitely an interesting one to start the album off with, but bjm has never really been known for strategic song placements. anyway, the beginning is this weird guitar sound that grows into an actual riff that just blasts right through you, especially when the drums come in. i like the line "i can fly but i'm not free," there's some fun lyrics in this song that really speak to anton's songwriting. more poetic kind of stuff! which, he's obviously capable of writing pretty much anything and everything, but i always enjoy the more flowery lyrics we get in some of these songs. overall, a great track!

rating: 8/10

that girl suicide

to be so completely fucking honest, i don't think there's a moment in life where i could ever not love this song. it's a banger through and through, the riff just makes you want to move!!! a fast paced chord progression with the drums, and the lyrics def seem to refer to some kind of drug use ... which then all goes into this amazing fucking raw guitar sound that i can't even describe, you just have to listen to it. i do really enjoy the live version's switch up of lyrics ( as well as how they're sung ) and inclusion of maracas, i might even like the live version's lyric style a little better than the studio version's. and i will say, having heard this song live before ( twice! ), it's a mesmerizing experience and just. SO GOOD!!! the little "oooOooOoo"s also fucking kill me they're just great and so fun to sing along to. i didn't even think i was going to have much to say about this track tbh but apparently i was uh. wrong! i think it's just because i adore this song and always have, it's definitely one of my fav bjm songs and probably forever will be.

rating: 11/10

deep in the devil's eye & you

now THIS is a shoegaze ass fucking song. starts off similar to crushed, with this kind of droning guitar sound, then we get the drums coming in with this great beat and then the PICK SLIDE?!???? it destroys me every single fucking time the beat drops. i've got no idea what the lyrics to this song are, but i do enjoy the vocals a fair amount and i think all of the music works so well together. it gets a little repetitive for me, but it's not an insanely long song so i give it a pass. but i really like this one!! i still remember the day i first heard it lol i was like damn okay!! bjm beat drop!!! anyway.

rating: 8/10

kid's garden

a song that couldn't be more different from the last one, kid's garden is soft and melancholic and just speaks to me so hard!!! the maracas are great here and i just really love how the guitar notes align with exactly how anton sings. "angel, there's no sense calling out your name" has been one of my favorite bjm lyrics for a long time and remains my fav one in this song. i also really like "and lay the branches there at your feet." just these poetic little lyrics i can't get enough of!!! but fuck when we get to the 'angel's child' part and anton's voice rises up with the guitar following his pitch?!??? UGH. ugh. so fucking good. this song is long but i actually really like the length, mainly bc the song is so calming so it doesn't even feel repetitive ... it all just flows through you. it's definitely an experience, esp when we get a little switch into the keyboard and drums coming in, before it returns back to the soft melody from before. there's just something about this song that simultaneously heals me and hurts me. the feeling of an old friend. nostalgia. childish hope for the future. i don't know! so many emotions going on here and it pulls so much out of me. i really love it.

rating: 10/10

when i was yesterday

i really, really enjoy this song, rarely do i end up skipping it actually! it's hard to explain what's even going on but i looove how anton sounds in this and the lil guitar riffs between the lyrics ... very good stuff. the grain really brings this all together i think. this is a pretty average length song, it doesn't usually feel too long so i appreciate that. i also like the lead up into the ending a lot. not much more to say here!!

rating: 9/10

spacegirl

ahhhhh spacegirl ... almost twelve minutes of pure bliss to my fucking ears. i've fallen asleep to this song i can't even count how many times, it's very pretty and soft and is great for passing the time. i love the very beginning, anton's random ass line... then we get into it. truthfully it never gets old to me despite kind of repeating the same shit, "just let me love you," the chords are really soothing and i wish i knew what they were!! unfortunately i do not, my go to man for tutorials has not yet figured out the chords so we'll see if someone ever figures it out lol. anton sure as hell doesn't know. anyway, another song about love! from bjm?!?? insane ( sarcasm ). no but i love the lyrics of this song, they're def giving similar vibes to crushed and kid's garden. besides hide and seek, this is pretty much my go to song from this album, i really really love it. then the fade out into the next one ... good stuff.

rating: 10/10

spacegirl - revisited

leading out of what the last one left off with, we get walmart version spacegirl! kidding, kind of. anyway this is purely instrumental and continues a lot of the same themes, it def grows on me as it continues on but really it's just an extended version of spacegirl and there's not much more i can say on it! i kind of don't love it but i don't hate it either, it's just there for me ( but bonus points for it being a continuation of a great song ).

rating: 6/10

after the fall

i will say, i very much enjoy the drums on this song. and the chorus is good with the very echoed vocals ... honestly tho for me there's just not much going on here! i truly don't have much more to say, i think it's the most average track so far and gets a little repetitive for me, simply because there's noooot a whole lot happening.

rating: 5/10

thoughts of you

not to be mistaken with thoughts of you too from pol pot lol. i loooove the guitar on this song and it's actually really fun to play, the intro is emotional and the music really just works so well. again with the making me a little bit sad! but there's something about the chord progression that gives that feeling and it feels like emotion genuinely went into this. another really good lyric - "life has lost its mystique under trembling time." banger fucking lyrics in this one, very very poetic. i think anton's voice is good here and it all just WORKS. this just feels like ... longing. and i love it.

rating: 9/10

hide and seek

OOOOOOOOOHHHH BOYYYY. this one doesn't even need to be thought about, instant 1,000,000/10. i think this is bjm's best fucking song and there is genuinely nothing that can ever beat it for me. so uh. yes! hide and seek is my favorite bjm song, in fact maybe my favorite song of all time. i fucking LOVE the chords and the shoegaziness of it all?!??? you can barely understand what this guy is saying, can barely hear him actually, and it's just fucking great. amazing lyrics. chorus slaps like nothing else and i can't even properly describe the way it makes me feel. the "ahhh ah ahh" WITH THE 'WE PLAY HIDE AND SEEK'???!? fucking amazing. this is another song about longing and it shows so well in the lyrics and the music and ALL OF IT. all of it. fucking perfect song. it doesn't overstay it's welcome and even if it was as long as spacegirl i wouldn't care, it's that good. if you like shoegaze this should be your new favorite because nothing beats it, not even e to g. best track on this album for SURE.

rating: 1,000,000/10

never, ever!

winding down from good old hide and seek ... we have never, ever! i don't love the way anton sings these lyrics to be so real and the music doesn't do a whole lot for me, it stays pretty steady throughout the whole song. i like some of the soloing going on though! i don't even know the last time i listened to this whole song, it's definitely been like ... a year at this point probably. but it is six minutes so i don't really blame myself considering i already don't really like it. alright song, not my fav and def the weakest on this album. but it definitely keeps that same theme and feel we get with all of these songs! this would've been a 4/10 but the soloing really makes up for everything else so it gets a point added.

rating: 5/10

ashtray

wow, it's been a bit since i heard this one either. LOTS of feedback in the start of this song which i can't tell if it's purposeful or not... either way, nooooot my favorite, i mean it's alright! but it isn't doing much for me. i do like the solos as i pretty much always do in every bjm song ever, but that's about it. this feels a little misplaced on this album, considering all of the other songs follow a pretty set theme / vibe / style, but i know this is a collection of old demos so, hey! more bjm! but this definitely could've gone on another album i think. or gone to one of the compilation albums lol.

rating: 5/10

fire song

the notes and solos on this song are really catchy... would probs be very fun to play on guitar. this definitely fits in with the rest of the album especially with some of the lyrics like "there was a fire so i jumped inside / i got lost inside you." good stuff! a pretty simple song, not much going on here so i can't say too much on it. it's a good old average joe.

rating: 5/10

maleka - bonus track

this song being on here is so fucking funny i almost can't stand it. this is very much better suited to the next album it appears on, which is give it back!, but here it just sounds soooooo out of place. like ??? what's this country shit doin' on spacegirl! anyway as a song i do enjoy it but it's so terribly placed i hate it here. i mean i know it's a bonus track but guuuuuys ..... please. just listen to this compared to something like kid's garden it couldn't be any more different. but uh yeah a fine song! country ish for sure which i love so it gets a good little rating from me.

rating: 7/10

aaaaand that's spacegirl! definitely shorter than pol-pot's pleasure penthouse, but i think there are some great songs on this album and the entire overarching style really speaks to me. i like the vocals we get and especially the deep feeling of emotion that comes with so many of these songs. it's really just superb, especially in the songs that shine the most. and this album DOES hold my favorite song so it's even more special to me <3 overall i'd give this a pretty good score!

hits: hide and seek, kid's garden, spacegirl

misses: never ever!, ashtray, maleka

overall album score: 7.5/10

next up we've got methodrone! i've listened to the full album but it's been a while sooo we'll see what my rating ends up being lol. loved spacegirl tho!! so i have high hopes for their next ( and kind of last ) shoegaze album before we start getting into the alt rock and country stuff. which i also cannot wait for. but yes expect methodrone sometime soon probably!

#( album review )#spacegirl #me when i can finally rate this on aoty <3

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kieuecaprie · 1 year ago

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KieueCaprie's List of Games Finished in 2023 Entry 9

#21: Pikmin 1

Finished When? 21/6/23

What's Finished? All parts

Platform? Nintendo Switch

Pikmin is probably one of my favorite Nintendo franchises that I thought was pretty much dead (along with F-Zero and Star Fox) when they decided that, as a prank, they release a 2D platformer for the 3DS that got amazing reviews, so amazing, in fact, that nobody ever spoke of it again and Nintendo decided not to give it any more attention until Niantic dug up its grave to parade its corpse around.

Now that the corpse has gained new life with Pikmin 4 and the news that Pikmin 1 + 2 has been ported to Switch had hit, I decided that it was time to go back to the two gamecube games that occupied most of my time with the console (the rest were Mario Party games... which I mainly played by myself with...).

I actually did finish Pikmin 1 before back when I was a streamer, so routing my way through the game wasn't a terribly difficult feat. The game's fun but it's quite easy once you know what you're doing and it does suffer a bit from a disease called Tech Demo-itis. It's still good, mind you, and I love it to pieces.

#22: Unreal Tournament 2004

Finished When? 25/6/23

What platform? PC, Steam (Much like UT99, this game is unlisted, but I have it on Steam AND GOG.)

What's finished? Campaign, Experienced (apparently listed as Masterful in the high score table (but why????))

Initially, my impression was that UT2K4 > (only just) UT99 >>>>>>>>>>>>> UT3 but after suffering through an Experienced difficulty campaign, I can say that I think I prefer UT99 a bit more, at least the bots in the latter game used a wider variety of weapons over slapping the Link Gun button and W+M2-ing their way to victory.

Double Domination is... a complete slog, I'm sorry, it gets very stalematey REAL fast and if I have to hear "RED TEAM IN C-- *weird synth noise*" or "5... 4... 3... 2.. o- LAST SECOND SAVE" one more time, I'm going to throw my PC out the window.

Bombing Run is interesting but it started getting tedious as I climbed through the maps because the bots got more and more aimbotty as you go, to the point where your teammates (who are also bots) started sucking more. I like the idea and I kind of wish there was a modern arena shooter that implemented it in some form.

CTF was CTF. Against bots, the age-old strat of grabbing the flag, throwing the translocator somewhere where they won't path, going back to base, capping, teleporting, and repeating the same thing three to five times is always valid.

Assault is probably one of the few things UT2K4 has over UT99, what with vehicles, a pointer to the next objective, and actual respawn times. It was great playing through AS-Convoy again after all this time.

The final deathmatch against Xan was... tedious, mostly due to how large the final map is in comparison to its UT99 counterpart.

All in all, I liked UT2K4 but I think UT99 is about equal to it in terms of my preference now, partly because the latter has less reliance on double-tap dodging which is a neat idea in concept but the number of times I "dodged" off a cliff is too damn high, even after changing the double tap time.

#23: Pikmin 2

Finished When? 25/6/23

What Platform? Nintendo Switch, the inferior version

All Treasures

Finished When? 10/7/23

Man oh man, when I was much younger, I seriously anticipated this game when I first heard about it and it did not disappoint. After trying and failing the first game, finding out that this game had no time limit was a breath of fresh air for me back then. Does this still hold up now that I know how to clear Pikmin 1?

Yeah, I'd say so, I still love Pikmin 2 even though now that I am more experienced, the game has a lot of what some people would say bullshit (and others would say FUN ), what with falling enemies, falling rocks, falling EXPLODING rocks, and Waterwraith (which... I didn't have any trouble with this time around lol).

The game is still great to play, I loved splitting jobs between two captains and managing my army of pikmin as we scoured the landscape for every last bit of treasure we could find and then some. And although some of the bosses that used to be "hard" feel disappointing to me these days, I still liked playing through it.

I can honestly say that this is probably my favorite game in the series... unless 4 can topple it over, of course.

#24: Road Trip Adventure

Finished When? 3/7/23

What Platform? PS2

I was introduced to this game last year (or was it the year before) by a friend and despite it looking and playing like it belonged on a PS1 (which is funny considering the games that came before it), I actually had a ton of fun going around on a Road Trip Adventure around the world, exploring, racing, and gambling. Also, the story is about the biggest excuse that you could get: President Forest is sick of being the president so he's holding a World Grand Prix to find the next president. Yes, it's as stupid as it sounds, but it's motivation for the player character to go from living in Peach Town to becoming the President of the world.

I'll get some proper screenshots in future, maybe. Someday™.

#25: Arcade Paradise

Finished When? 6/7/23

What Platform? PC, Game Pass

This game caught my eye when I first saw it on Game Pass. Run a laundrette that was owned by your player character's father, Gerald, who happens to be voiced by the voice actor who voiced Geralt of Rivera, and secretly run an arcade in the back while expanding your premises to "fit more washing machines in" because "gaming will never take off" because the game is set in the 90's (even though I'm 100% sure a battery-backup RPG puzzle arcade game wouldn't have existed back then but what do I know?) with all the aesthetic and feel to it.

The game's pretty great, albeit very slow at times when you have to grind for things and it can be a total slog. It gets worse towards the end when the game starts asking for exhorbitant amounts of money for one arcade cabinet to match your pace.

On top of that, the business management side is... very basic. There's no failstates, there's no consequences outside of not making as much money as you should have, nothing, and the laundrette starts becoming incredibly tedious in the late game (although I feel that may actually be the point since, at the beginning, you tell your father that the arcade has the potential to make more money than the laundry).

Some of the games are pretty good and I can easily pick out MOST of the games they're riffing on such as Strike Gold being Dig-Dug, Racer Chaser being Pac-Man (with an interesting gimmick of having to get back to your car before you get caught by the cops if you happen to crash into one of them), and later on getting a DDR-like cabinet with an incredibly simple "rhythm" game.

The story is fine, it doesn't really get in the way all that much nor does it really need to be when the main attraction is the arcade games. One thing I will say though is that I really liked how they portrayed the father, I won't really say much about it, you can experience it yourself if you'd like. Plus it's free on Game Pass, so you aren't losing much by doing so if you're subbed to that service.

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#kieuecaprie gaming #kieuecaprie gamer list 2023

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fake-love-is-all-i-dreamed-of · 2 years ago

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fuck my ex

He did it. My ex brought me back to tumblr. Dang, it's been a while... like over 10 years since the young, hippie-wannabe, angsty teen was making blogs about doing drugs from the earth and sharing psychedelic aesthetic posts. It's nice to be back, in a place where no one knows who I am and I can speak my mind. Journalling is fun and all... but typing it out just feels like you're empowered.

Over the last year, I dated the dumbest person I have ever dated... and that's saying a lot, as my track record is pretty rough. I met him somewhere I shouldn't have been dating anyone, and from there, things moved quickly. He moved in within a few months, if not a few weeks, and we were full fledged in a relationship neither of us were ready for.

I mean jesus christ, the man almost has more kids than fingers and a criminal record but somehow I was so desperate for love I couldn't resist. I'm not fully salty about the situation, I've learned a lot.... but recently, I let him back in.

It had been three months since he left, and we were going on a month of no contact. He owed me $20 that he was holding over my head for months and refused to give back... I let it go eventually (it was more the principle than the amount I was worried about... as well as I'm pretty sure it was some sick way for me to keep talking to him.. I'm now seeing). I finally started to feel better and was being more conscious of the lessons as opposed to my loneliness. Then bam, he calls me out of the blue one night when I'm out drinking with a friend. I'm still not sure how he can call me when I have him blocked, but he says "that's the good thing about having a blocked number". Didn't know you could do that. I guess I was more lonely than I thought at that moment, because little did I know... he'd successfully reel me back in despite all he's done to me, I let the bastard back in.

Over the next few days we may have chatted a few times, can't remember. He then told me he was moving away for work and wanted to stay at my house for a night while he waited for his flight. I said absolutely not, we went no contact for a few more weeks.

Then, all of a sudden I get a call that awakens me at 8am on a Saturday. He's on the way into the city and is going to be staying overnight at the airport for 24 hours to wait for his flight. Again, I must have been extra lonely, because I slept for a few more hours and then went and got his ass. On my way there he sent me my $20 back, saying nothing. I was like wow, he really wants something from me lol. He said he didn't want to stay the night, but I practically begged him. We had a decent day, went to the beach, had something to eat. He was still unable to talk about what happened that caused our breakup and how he treated me the three months after, which is something I want badly but he's honestly just not intelligent enough to have a conversation like that (red flag #50,000)... so I just allowed the time spent to be what it was. He was leaving for 5 weeks to work out of the Province, so what the fuck is the difference... it's just a day, right? Throughout our day and night he made multiple mentions of him coming back to my place every 5 weeks and staying. I actually considered it.

Fast forward to the last two weeks, he's been out of Province and calling me daily for the most part. I noticed he still has some concerning people on his social media that I asked him to remove, so deep down I know nothing's changed and I also know I don't want to associate with someone of his patheticness - but, loneliness sucks so I keep him on a little string chatting here and there just to feel something.

He then starts asking me for money again. He went out of Province to work with $0 and apparently has no food, or smokes. I've had no extra money so kept telling him that's why I couldn't send, but he knew my pay period and tonight asked me again. This time, I said honestly I'm not comfortable with loaning you any money because I work really hard for it and the last time you didn't give it back for 3 months. Well... all hell broke loose, and he started saying "fuck you, get the fuck out of my life"... totally freaking out like a child. I then made a few digs at him, basically just insulting his intelligence and character because it's clear the only reason he keeps talking to me is so that he knows he can have me on standby if he needs something.

He then started saying that the reason he did what he did (cheated, lied, scammed me, etc.) is because of me, lmfao. That's when I'm like ok brother you're actually fucked. I blocked his number and he started calling me, leaving me voicemails saying I'm a piece of shit and telling me to clean my house because it's the only thing he can say to me - I'm not a disgusting human being like him, so there isn't much to say to me. I know I did nothing wrong and I've always been good to his grimy ass, so I have nothing to worry about.

He called me a few times, left two mean voicemails that I didn't even listen to, just deleted - and now we wait. Now we see if he emails me or tries to contact me from another method - or, will he finally give up and leave me alone?

I am hoping that I am fully done at this point - I mean, he's never done this before but tonight he called me a piece of shit and some other mean things - so I think I'm good, as I don't tolerate that no matter how mad you are. I've been talking to other guys basically the entire time he's been gone, just nothing serious has come out of anything. It's not like he's my only option, familiarity just hits ya in the face sometimes.

At the end of the day, what saddens me is that he is a product of his environment and I am unsure if he has the intelligence to ever break that mould. Being with me gave him a view of life he had never seen before, coming from where he comes from. I don't come from much, but, I do come from a place of intelligence and life knowledge - which is something he just doesn't have. I hope that he can someday lead a good life, but that's just not my business anymore and I hope to keep it that way.

So just like when I got sober from coke some 7-8 years ago, here is day 1 of no contact. I hope to reach 10, 20, 50, 100 days. If I don't, I'll start again - but he has no place in my life and I can't forget that.

#breakups #fuck my ex #i hate my ex #ex boyfriend #lessons #life lessons

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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years ago

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Living with Losing You - 01/15/2023

I cried in the TrueFood Kitchen at UTC today.

Well, before that, I got up and decided to get Public Square with a drink today. I was very excited for that because I just haven’t been having it as much. Makes it something I look forward to. I also tried to take Sadie out this morning but it was a brief walk since it’s been raining pretty consistently. Anyway, After that I got ready to meet up with Karina. I realized that I had not been back to UTC/La Jolla since before you died, so it was very triggering for me. A lot more triggering than I thought it would be. We tried to meet at a coffee shop, but she had actually work tonight so she was hungry, so we were going to go to great Maple. Well, apparently that place closed, so we went to true food for lunch.

I have always really liked Karina. I have a lot of respect and admiration for her, and the heart that she has for what she does and the people around her. She really helped you through your residency, took you under her wing as much as she could. She has protected you in ways. It was a little hard for me to talk to her about the things that you and I have struggled with, because she just did not know. I think that it was really good to have those conversations with her today, I kind of needed that. I think I have been really struggling with all of the Good and the bad that you and I endured. Sometimes when I think about it, even at a more surface level, it honestly just hurts. It’s hard to explain that pain. Anyway, by the end of it we were talking and I was mentioning how I just naturally feel guilty, I think part of me will always feel like I could’ve done more and that stems from my abandonment issues, but I know that I couldn’t.

I physically, mentally, and emotionally did everything that I could. You were the only one that could save you. I was talking about how in the note you left you told me that you loved me and that you were sorry, and that I was the best thing that ever happened to you in your life. That’s when I started crying. I believe that, and I know that I’m the last person you want to feel guilty. It’s just really hard to process at all.

After we ate and chatted, I drove home and took a quick cat nap/watched some TV. i’ve been trying to be better about sitting with myself, whether that’s even just at home. After a little while, Erika and I figured out where we wanted to go in this rain and went to the Liberty public market that was indoors at Liberty Station. It was really great to see her as always, and I ended up getting some yummy macaroons and pizza! Looks like I will be starting my meal prep tomorrow lol for lunch.

After we hung out, I came back home and watched a little bit more TV. I finally took down most of my Christmas decorations, but I need to go to storage to get the boxes to put them in. I even ordered an ornament box to store things more proper than I have prior. Allegedly.

I think part of the reason I was having a hard time taking all the Christmas stuff down was because it really signified going into a new year without you, and I just really thought I’d have you.

I definitely had some tears today. But I had a lot of smiles and joy too.

I’m allowed to be grateful, but also in absolute grief. I’m allowed to hone in on the good and hunting all the bad. I’m allowed to do whatever I need to do to get better, find peace, and except what happened. I don’t even know if I’ve quite accepted it yet.

Love you and miss you so much, James.

I need to get going to bed, I have two go into the office pretty early tomorrow and I have to onboard someone. I have quite a busy week before I head to Lexington again on Saturday.

Tomorrow is six months. I can’t believe that.

Rest In Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

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just-some-random-blogger · 4 years ago

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Bootylicious

Stray Kids Bang Chan x Idol!Reader Summary: You're known as the gym rat in your group, and quite frankly, you only have two moods: shredding or chilling. This was why when you're not asleep in between schedules, you're spotted with a male idol you happened to meet in the gym you were at that day. It's a known fact though, that you and Bang Chan are gym buddies and each other's spotter. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Internet toxicity, sasaengs, vulgar language, sexism, misogyny, pining, fluff, mentions of Pentagon because why not <3, etc.

A/N: Girl, i shouldn't do this but I did. It's so funny to me someone requested this cause I have recently become an exercise junkie lol. Also, if you can't tell, there is a pov shift after the cut so yeah. I also wanted to keep the reader gender neutral but I want to write about how psychotically different people treat male and female idols because that stuff aint it. It's most definitely not what anon was expecting me to write but I hope they enjoy it nonetheless.

There's compilation in YT with growing parts centered around you flexing your physical fitness and prowess. It ranges from you affectionally touring your fans, which really meant the cameraman, through the gym, introducing your trainer, and doing your routine on camera, to your group (and others) both fawning and bragging about how strong and how hot you are.

CLIP #1: A scene from an interview of your group in Japan, struggling to talk about how you can do 40 straight push ups.

There was a male interviewer in a suit you could all faintly recognize was talking about your recent Instagram post of a gym mirror selfie.

One of your youngest members smirked and in broken Japanese, cutely said, "Wah, she does 100 push ups! Everyday, every night."

You snap your head to the maknae and raise your brows, "nani?" You begin to shake your hands in protest and begin to explain your truth, "absolutely not 100. Maybe around 40, but nooooo, not 100."

The interviewer and your group comically react in awe. The man in the suit urges, "can you show us?"

You give a face, "Excuse me, but I'm not getting paid to do that in this miniskirt."

Everyone, including the film crew, break into laughter.

CLIP #2: A scene from a variety show where you had to prove you were, in fact, yourself, by doing a shortened version of your exercise routine.

One of the hosts of the show asks, "Wait, do you honestly do all of this in your workout? Like you can do all of it?"

The list of your exercises were written on a colourful cardboard, held by the one who just spoke. It was a range of exercises in 10 sets, from jumping jacks to sit ups, to vague sounding exercises like crab pinches and robot arms.

You purse your lips at the last question asked of you, not really liking the tone in which it was asked. You answer quickly and nod proudly, "I actually do more, cause when I get in the zone and I'm already really sweaty, I feel like I should keep going until my whole body burns." You chuckle.

The older hosts, tilt their head and mutter lowly under their breath something along the lines of, "I'd rather die."

You finally do the routine, quickly, continuously, earning impressed reactions from everyone.

"That's hot," one of the hosts note.

"Ya, for some reason it looks easy to do."

The hosts begin to clamour at that statement, and force whoever said to do the exact thing you did. Clearly, they don't work out as much as you do and cannot even get halfway through it without stopping.

You break out into a breathless laugh in amusement of the comical attempt but then protest, explaining how bad it is to force yourself to do more than you can

CLIP #3: Pentagon, Hongseok especially, fawns over how fit you are

Trailing a conversation about how your group is close with Pentagon because your companies are situated closely to each other and you wind up eating together a lot, there is an anecdote about how there was a jar no one could open, no one but you, that is.

The interviewer asks no one in particular, "wah, none of you could open the jar? Really? Or did you all just pretend so she could open it?"

There is a chorus of answers concluding with, "no really, she was the only one that was able to open it."

The story is backed up by how the jar had a really small lid and some hands were too big. Then came an explanation how you were recently into the new rock climbing machine in your gym.

Hongseok speaks up, "I was invited to go to rock climbing in, like, an actual rock climbing place and I was honestly so surprised when she began to climb. She said she never actually tried rock climbing on a wall, but it seemed like she had been doing it for years."

Shinwon agrees, "Right, right. I was also really curious about what they did that day," he points to Hongseok, "that I joined them one time. I never felt so out of shape in my life. I just stayed back and filmed everything."

Pentagon laughs, and then agrees that you were exceptionally fast and just super fit in all honesty.

The interviewer catches Hongseok's expression then suddenly asks, "do you like a woman like that?"

"Yeah, I like my women strong."

Then came a lot of teasing remarks from Pentagon, and a plethora of complaints from delusional fans who did not want Hongseok to ever breathe in your direction again.

With all that's been said about that, in all the parts of this series floating around in the internet, one thing remained, there was a slightly larger population of impressed fans than the still large portion of antifans who wanted nothing to do with it and only came around to hate.

It's hard not to think about it, but even the slightest back handed compliment can sometimes linger in one's mind.

And right now, as much as I kept my mind on my counting as I finished my set high knees, I couldn't help but think of how much backlash I got from posting a post workout photo with my midriff exposed.

Apparently that was not only enough to merit hate for being both a whore and an attention whore, but people baselessly began to hate on my groupmates simply for being associated with me.

It's kind of sad really, how, say Wonho, can post a fairly exposed photo of himself and get so much praise for it, and yet I couldn't even do anything remotely close to that.

And I don't even mean to come at Wonho, we all know he's a beast at the gym and should be able to show as much of his hard work as he is comfortable in showing, but why can't I?

"Hey trooper. I thought you said you were only doing 80 counts?" a voice cracks me out of my train of thought.

I turn to whom spoke and chuckle at myself as I stop my leg raises, "ah yeah, I got lost in thought, and your really good song."

I pull on my earphones and give a lopside smile, "I love working out to God's Menu."

He gives a soft, "he he, thanks."

"No need for a thank you when I'm only giving my honest opinion, Chan."

"Yeah, well still, it makes my kokoro go doki-doki," he sniggers, crossing his arms and flashing a dimpled smile. I raise my upper lip and reel back, "EWWW!"

I playfully shove him. He acts hurt, "this is violence against children."

"Chan, you're literally older than me."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a child at heart."

"You mean, it doesn't mean you're not a drama queen."

"Hey, I have no interest in having a throne, my only interest is," he leans in and whispers, "you."

I feel my soul leave my body as he snorts to himself and runs away. I regurgitate in surprise, "YA!"

"You better do your next set properly," Chan says heading off to a cable row machine, "I'm always watching."

I try to ignore the blood rushing up your neck, "creep."

He shrugs, "rather that or have you get injured, sweet heart."

Yeah, Chan has saved me from a lot of injuries I could have had. It was a bad habit. It stemmed from the same thing that made me mess up my count a while ago, my overthinking.

Sometimes I thought of rather harmless things, but sometimes I began to fixate on the hate I received for simply being. I do a lot to get my mind to realize that they hated me simply because they could and because it was easy. Exercising helped tremendously, especially when I had someone fun to work out with, especially when I was with Chan. He just... made me feel safe, y'know.

But when the news of us being work out buddies surfaced, a lot of sasaengs came for me. Of course, a lot of Stays and my own fans were really kind about, speaking out that we were our own people and exercising together did not mean anything in particular really.

But some really went for it, and made it a hobby to comment on everything I was in that I was a slut for 'working out' with different men every day."

I let out a breath as I finish my routine. I catch my breath and go for a swig of my water. I take a moment then sit down by the mirror, which was near where Chan was currently working out.

"You're doing it again."

I turn from where I was blankly staring at turn to Chan who gave me a soft look, "you good?"

I release a sigh then purse my lips, "maybe."

He pouts, "what happened?"

I shrug and stand from where I sat, "you know, the usual."

Chan then comes up to me and takes my water bottle from me, "you know, no matter how much people say you don't need water to live, you can never change the fact that you are extremely dependent on water to live."

I look at him and half- heartedly point, "are you calling me thirsty?"

He begrudgingly groans and releases a chuckle. He calls my name out in a scolding tone. I feel myself relax, "I know what you're getting at Chan."

He nods, "good. I'll always be here to remind you of that."

I smile and feel an urge to hug him, "if you weren't so sweaty, I would totally hug you right now."

Chan then gives me a look then does not hesitate to crush me into his arms. I groan and whine in protest. He chuckles, "you literally just said you wanted a hug!"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEATY. NO ONE WANTS THIS TORTURE."

Chan huffs and gives a wounded look, "hmp. You better spot me while I lift or else I'm unfriending you."

"Hmm... I think I'll be good without you as a friend."

I half expect Chan to whine about it, but he instead smirks, "ahhhh, you must want me to be your boyfriends so badly huh."

I- I mean...

CLIP #4: A crack edit of Chan when he gets asked about his gym relationship with me in Chan's Room.

He was looking through the questions and suddenly chuckles, his ears noticeably began to redden. Cue a zoom in of his face and his red ears. Cue a clip of Cardi B saying, "that's suspicious."

He says my name then continues, "am I close with her? Yeah. I would say I'm close with her-- and her whole group actually."

Captioned: Nice save, Chris.

"The kids and I are close with her group," he says, clearing his throat.

A clip of him clearing his throat is repeated about ten times.

Chan adjust the beanie he was wearing as he thinks of what he was going to say next, "we actually do work out together a lot because she's under a trainer that works with my trainer."

Captioned: Sure, Chan. That's the only reason, right?

Chan catches another question, "Is she a beast in the gym like Hongseok says?" He breaks into a laugh. He then rubs his cheek and grits his teeth.

A clip of someone saying, "Oh he's jealous," flashes on screen.

"Yeah," Chan finally says, "she's got a really high stamina."

Cue the clip, WHAT DID HE SAY?

Chan continues, "she can go between exercises without stopping. she doesn't even take that much time to catch her breath. In fact, she sings while exercising sometimes, which helps make her vocals stable."

Captioned: Queen Tingz.

The next thing that happens is Chan breaks into a laugh and begins to chuckle. He says, "Sorry I saw a funny comment."

Captioned: WHAT HE MEANS IS HE SAW A COMMENT SAYING 'SHUT UP CHRIS, YOU'RE WHIPPED."

Then came these comments:

LITERALLY LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY BANG CHAN GETS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT HER DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME MY SHIP IS ALIVE

They are dating period. prove me wrong. you cant

Chan literally blushes over anything, buT HE TURNED INTO A TOMATO WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HER BYE

if you hate on your faves loving each other, you most definitely need Jesus (:

PLEASE CAN YOU SEE HOW WHIPPED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER

Yeah... it's not been confirmed to this day.

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