#apparently 1 bb is 3 drinks?

[solstheimtxt]

I forgot how serving sizes are andnow i am. Turnt

Hell yeah

[katiascraft]

𐙚⋆°.MODALES | FC43

[MANNERS | FC43]

⤷ franco colapinto x singer!reader x lando norris.

summary: You had a brief yet beautifully intense romance with F1 driver Franco Colapinto a few years ago when he was driving for F3. When he decided to end your relationship, you didn’t expect he would move on that quickly.

Warnings: I think angst. Not a happy ending but another happy ending (?) and strong language I guess. Cheating. Dialogues in Spanish mostly. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.

Author’s note: 200 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!! this was inspired on the EP “modales” by Yami Safdie which I recommend you check it out!! Also I’ll be using her for the posts. First time mixing smau and written stuff so yeah. Hope you like it 💌 don’t forget to like, comment, reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

f1gossipofficial just made a post

liked by @/user1, @/user2, @/landonorris, and others.

f1gossipofficial: breaking news ‼️ a source close to franco colapinto confirmed that @/y/nusername singer from Argentina it’s her ex and she just dropped an EP full of tea! 👀 apparently according to the song’s Franco dumped her for her new girlfriend @Franconewgirl and stated that franco isn’t as good as he seems! Let the tea be spilled everyone!

view more comments

↳ user123: @y/nusername TE EXPUSIERON BB [they exposed you bb]

↳ user1: OMG

↳ landnorizz1: why is our boy here ????????

↳ franmylove: oh no not this girl again pls leave him alone already!!!

↳ user4: she cute tho

↳ usar89: WHAY DOES SHE LOOKS EXACYLY LIKE FRANCO’s ACTUAL GF

↳ user20: girl I was about to mention it

↳ marylovesy/n: no puedo creer que franco la dejó después de que estuvo para el cuando mas lo necesitaba!!! [can’t believe franco dumped her when she was there for him when he needed it the most]

↳ landonorris: I guess I gotta take this to the group chat

↳ landonorris: she is so pretty

↳ user1: LANDO WTF

↳ usar444: land no rizz BRO WHAT

──── ──── ──── ──── ──── ────

💋ྀིྀི Track 1 - buen provecho.mp3

back to march 2023.

“Amor, perdón, ya sé, esto es una mierda. Pero realmente necesito enfocarme.. No es por vos, es por mi. Obvio que te amo y siendote sincero te voy a amar toda la vida, pero necesito enfocarme 100% en esto y/n” (love, I'm sorry, i know, this is a shitty situation. But I really need to focus. It's not about you,it's about me. Obviously I love you and to be honest I'll love you forever, but I really need to focus 100% on this y/n) you were already sobbing on the kitchen chair of his small apartment in madrid. This couldn't be happening. He wasn't breaking up with you over his career like you didn't have yours. Like all the sacrifices and support were with absolute shit. Franco was crying too but less emotional than you. He was colder, controlled. You were all over the place. You had to stand up. 

“Franco, qué pasa con todo lo que construimos? Todo lo que sacrificamos por el otro. Te apoye todos estos años para que? Se que las relaciones a distancia son difíciles pero con vos nunca lo fue. Franco por dios, te amo, te amo con todo lo que soy. Por favor, no me dejes” (franco, what about what we built here? All of the sacrifices we made. I supported you all of these years for what? I know distance relationships are hard but with you it wasn't. Franco, for god's sake, I love you. I love you with everything I am. Please, don't leave me) when he heard you mouthing the last sentences something inside him broke in a million pieces. He felt like a monster. He brushed his hair with one hand, anxious. He couldn't look at you after what you said. He felt like the worst human alive but his decision was already made. There was no coming back from it. It`s he`s dream. “Por el amor de dios, franco, decime algo”(please, franco say something) you expressed desperate. It was real and now you were in another country, alone, with nobody to talk to, to go to. All of that was him but even if he was sitting across the table from you, he was gone. So far gone, the room turned cold.  “No lo puedo creer.”(i can't believe it) you were speechless, empty. You had to sit again and that's when he finally looked at you. 

“y/n perdon. Pero es lo que necesito. espero que lo puedas entender”(y/n im sorry. But I really need to focus. I Hope you can understand) he expresado. You shook your head ironically dry laughing.he had the guts to act like this despite it all.  

“¿Sabes qué es lo más triste franco? Pensé que ibas a tener los huevos para decirme que me cagaste en la cara”(you know what 's the saddest part of this franco? I thought you would have the balls to tell me you cheated to my face) you dropped what you knew leaving him in shock. Exposed. Your anger intensified. “Obviamente lo sé hace 2 semanas. Quería que me lo digas porque vos te mandaste la cagada. Y aun así me pones una excusa de mierda y tenes la cara para decirme te amo.te cagaste en mi, en mi amor, en mi tiempo,en mi autoestima. Te cagaste en todo franco. No te voy a decir quien me dijo porque no importa. Ojala que te vaya bien y seas feliz con ella o con quien eras que no sea yo obviamente. Pero también espero que te enamores de alguien de verdad y te haga lo mismo solo para que sientas lo que siento y te des cuenta tarde o temprano lo que rompiste y nunca más vas a volver a recuperar” (i know it since 2 weeks ago. I wanted you to tell me you fucked up. But you decided to lie about it with an absurd excuse and you actually have the guts to say that you love me. You fucked me up and my selfsteam. You didn't care at all. I'm not gonna tell you who told me. It doesn't matter. But i hope you have a good life and be happy with her whatever bitch that isn't me clearly. But I also hope that you fall in love with someone and they do the same to you just to know how this feels and realize what you broke because there's not coming back from this) you  just had to take it off your chest. You were destroyed inside. Of course you still wanted to be oblivious and stay with him like nothing happened. But that was impossible to do. It was your second day here. He didn't even mention he wanted to talk. He was playing fool.   

💋ྀིྀི Track 2 - por favor.mp3

back to june 2023.

You and your bff were having a sleepover at your house. You were lying in bed just chatting about anything and everything. 

“Amiga viste esto? Pendejo del orto como le da la cara?” (girl, did you see this? That motherfucker. The audacity he has.) she handed you her phone to look at it by yourself. You see an instagram post. She looked so similar to you you got really confused for a moment. Then you realized it was franc and his new girlfriend. I think your jaw dropped to the floor. How could they? How could HE? You rolled your eyes. It still hurts. But you wanted to play it cool. its been only 3 months like did he even love you for real? You felt gross. You felt stupid. How could you believe him? That fucking smile. His fucking humor. His fucking fingers inside you that made you feel things noone did before. Ugh you hated him. You really hated him.

💋ྀིྀི Track 3 - gracias.mp3

Back to september 2023

franconewgirl made a post

liked by @/francolapinto, @/user2, @/alexalbon and others.

franconewgirl: sigan mirando y hablando que el novio más perfecto lo tengo yo 🩵 te amo fran [keep watching and talking. The most perfect boyfriend it’s still mine. I love you fran]

view more comments

↳ francolapinto: te amo princesa 🩵 [I love you princess]

↳ user23: PARENTS

↳ y/nandfran: 🙄

↳ user56: TELL HER TELL HER SCREAM IT GIRL

↳ user1: can’t believe he left y/n still

↳ yourbff: tiraba palo 🤣 [oh she’s throwing indirects]

↳ francolapinto: ?????

↳ yourbff: 🙄

↳ y/nusername: 💀

comments have been disabled

💋ྀིྀི Track 4 - permiso.mp3

Move forward to september 2024 → Monza GP

The Italian breeze of summer made you feel so happy to be here. Not so much the fact you were in the same place with Franco and his girlfriend. But red bull invited you and you loved racing so much that you couldnt say no. plus, your friend kimi and ollie that you knew because they used to race along franco back when the two of you were together. 

You were so thrilled you met Max Verstappen and that he was so kind and actually had a genuine conversation with you. He was nothing like how the media wanted to portray him. He also introduced you to Lando Norris, another driver. He looked really handsome and was really welcoming as well. You found yourself flirting with him for a bit. He said he had a friend from Argentina and that if you were free you could go and drink mate together after the race. You couldn't deny you felt attracted to him. He was handsome. Of course you gave him your instagram and started following each other. 

A few hours later Charles Leclerc won the race and it was fenomenal to witness. He won the Ferrari home race. The tifosis went wild. Really emotional. It was his first home win. You watched the podium in a smile from the red bull hospitality building drinking a red bull. 

After a few minutes, you got ready to go to your hotel to rest for the rest of the day but Max stopped you. 

“Hey, y/n, there's a party tonight. You are invited if you want to come. Lando will send you the address” he said walking towards you. You smiled pleased and flustered. He was so beautiful in person. 

“That sounds fun, sure” you said with your foreign accent pretty obvious just like franco’s and he smiled widely. 

“Perfect. See you tonight!” he said after giving you a quick hug and walking away. 

(...)

You were laughing a little tipsy. Lando was by your side almost the whole night so far. He was really fun to be around and Carlos came to the rescue so you could talk to someone in your native language. Sometimes it's tiring to think and translate what you will say 24/7. 

After a while you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Little did you know, Franco was gonna stop you before getting into it anyway. You looked at him surprised. His perfume all over you again leaving you kind of confused. 

“Podes dejar de hablar tanto con él por favor?” (can you stop talking to him please?) he said clearly drunk but grabbing your arm gently tight. You frowen and shook you heard before setting free from his grip.

“Hola fran, todo bien? Si todo bien. Que bueno che. No soy mas tu novia asi que no vengas a hablarme y decirme que hacer. Gracias, chau” (hi fran, wassup? Yeah, all good. Great. I'm not your girlfriend anymore so don't come around to talk and tell me what to do. Thanks. Goodbye) you said sarcastically and went straight into the bathroom already annoyed by his attitude. It was being a great night but he has to come around and fuck it up. 

(...) 

Your moans were all over the place. His hands are right on your waist and his movement consistently gets in and out of you. 

“Sos tan linda, y/n” (you're so beautiful, y/n) he said under his breath.

How did you end up here? Again in his arms making you see the stars. Getting you drunk on his perfume. Grabbing his hair and pulling his head back. Him grabbing your waist and twisting you however he likes. Just like he always did. 

A part of you was crying behind your face, smiling in pleasure, getting loud in moans. You wanted him forever. Whether You like it or not, he was the love of your life. No other guy could ever make you feel the way he does by just looking at you. You were angry at yourself. He has a girlfriend and here you are. You are not supposed to be anyone’s slut. The pleasure was intense, reaching your high, hiding your face in his neck, squeezing his shoulders. 

where was his girlfriend?

What have you done? Fucking alcohol and feelings and shit.

💋ྀིྀི Track 5 - perdón.mp3

Fast forward to the next morning

“No franco, esto es un horror. Es horrible lo que hicimos. Me voy” (franco this is horrible. It's horrible what we did. I'm leaving right away) you said feeling terrible. Awful. A knot in your stomach. You got dressed so quickly. 

“Nono por favor y/en espera. Estoy dispuesto a dejarla. Por favor, te extraño muchísimo. Nadie me hizo sentir como vos y nadie lo hará. Lo sé. Por favor, no me dejes” (please y/n wait. I will leave her. Please, I miss you like crazy. On one made me feel the way you did and no one will. I'm sure. Please, don't leave me) he said. How fast the nights change, right? One day you are begging him to stay, and the next he is begging you to stay. You turned around to look at him. 

“Bueno es lo que te mereces después de lo que hiciste. No podemos estar juntos franco. Te acordaste tarde de que me amabas. Yo ya no te amo. Y esta noche fue un error. No me busques mas.no quiero saber mas nada de vos” (well that's what you deserve for doing what you did to me. We can't be Franco together franco. You remembered you love me too late. I don't love you anymore. This was a mistake. Don't look for me. I don't wanna know about you anymore.) your words would have cut his skin if they could. Torn him into millions of pieces. His heart sank. 

You grabbed all of your stuff. You were scared the girl was coming any minute. You just didn't want to deal with it. This shouldn't have happened.

💋ྀིྀི Track 6 - de nada.mp3

move forward to present day

f1gossipoffcial made a post

Liked by @user567, @user1, @user34, @user890 and others.

f1gossipofficial: the secret it’s out! @/y/nusername Argentinian singer and @/landonorris mclaren driver been spotted together getting cozy in Monaco!

view more comments

↳ user1: OMG OMG OMG OMG I LOVE THEM

↳ yourbff: 🤭🤭🤭

↳ y/nusername: 😳

↳ user45: la princesa de argentinaaa 🩵

↳ user123: I don’t like herrrrr 🤢

↳ landonorizz: Lando has a terrible taste on women tbh

↳ y/nstan: feliz si ella está feliz 💌 [happy if she’s happy]

↳ user12: omg she confirmed it !!!!!

↳ user90: WHAT I CHOKED

——————————————————————————————

y/nusername made a post

liked by @/landonorris, @/charlesleclerc, @/francolapinto and others.

y/nusername: oops! Nos descubrieron! Seguí hablando de mi. Gracias a mi tenes lo que tenes, mejor disfrútalo 🩵 yo estoy disfrutando la mía y nunca fui más feliz. Te amo @/landonorris gracias por amarme como soy 💌 [keep talking about me. You should thank me for what you have now. You should better enjoy it. I’m enjoying mine and I’ve never been more happy in my life. I love you lando, thank you for loving me just the way I am]

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↳ landonorris: te amo mi bonita 🩵 you make me the happiest. Thank you for being so wonderful and be so you.

↳ y/nusername: omg te amo te amo te amo infinito 🩵

↳ landonorris: te amo infinito 🩵

↳ charlesleclerc: congratulations lovebirds! A pleasure meeting you @/y/nusername

↳ y/nusername: omg thank you prince 💌

↳ user778: ME ACABO DE MORIR SON HERMOSOS [omg I’m dead you are both so beautiful]

↳ yourbff: al fin alguien que te ama casi tanto como yo te amo 🩵😭 [finally someone that loves you almost as much as I do]

↳ y/nusername: 😭😭😭😭 te amo hermana

↳ user09: if he’s happy we’re all happy

↳ user123: I know franco choked when he saw this

——————————————————————————————

Thank you so much guys for 200 followers!! You are the best mwak mwak mwak 💌 first time I tried this format of story so I hope it’s good!! I dont know if it makes sense tho but i tried!!

[adiprose-abernath]

A Pudgy Planetary Pitstop

When a motley crew of heros from the vastness of space land on a new planet that seems to be made of edible earth, they might a bite off more (or in their case, much MUCH more) than they can chew.

CW Weight Gain, Unintentional growth, Feederism, belching

In the inky void of space, we come across our crew in a shabby state. Jax lazily bats the navigation, eager for a change on the screen, his tail flicking from side to side in annoyance and disappointment. BB sighs heavily "Do you have eyes on the planet?" "Negative captain," the feline replies, his paw yet again tapping against the screen. Their third crew member is in the vents, moving from place to place to keep an eye that all of their tanks are filled and the wires are in the right place. He takes a wrench and tightens a nut and bolt or two but reluctantly joins the others. "Everything seems to be in tip top shape, Cap. If you don't mind me asking, how much longer til we reach our destination?" Captain BB does not respond, gazing into the emptiness, wishing on the comet that passes by the ship that the answer will be soon.

As if by coincidence, a blip goes off the ships scanners. The idle eyes of Jax flip towards the screen in excitement. "50,000 kilometers and counting, captian. We're almost there!" And lo, the planet begins to grow in their vision, as their auto thrusters engage, readying them for a landing. By 40,000 all the crew are out of their seats and by 30 they're working on their suits. At 20 they finish putting them on and by 10 they gather their materials. The ships computer enters auto pilot and gradually slows the ship to the ground which lands with a thud.

The door hatch opens with a hiss and the crew steps out onto their strange new world. Captain BB takes a fearless foot forward leaving a boot print in the alien soil. "Well boys," he says, a grin in his voice "we made it to Ad1-pr0-53!" The crew gives a slight cheer at the accomplishment of their task and split up to begin setting up their trackers and mobiles. Jax gathers some soil samples while Douglas readies the probes and BB goes inside the ship to ready some food (because after such a long flight, he was huuuuungry). Time flies quickly and the crew manages to make it back inside. Chewing on some space cream, the crew watch as the computer begins to analyze the samples. With bated breath all are silent as it speaks.

"The soil contains 89% carbon, 7% oxygen, 3% hydrogen, and 1% nitrogen. This soil is: suitable for consumption." Jax frowns, puzzled for a second. "I set it to detecting if we could put seeds here, not if it was EDIBLE." Jax continues to hit buttons, going through the readings. "Apparently it tastes like...gingerbread?" The crew all look at each other, having had spend decades in cryostasis without something even close to solid or sweet and each take a slight piece from it and bite down. A flavorful waterfall cascades down their tounges as wave after wave of delicate sweetness bombards their brains and bodies with pure ecstasy. In that moment, the crew knew that they had landed on something really special and needed a form of testing a computer could not comprehend: taste testing.

Ignoring the warning signs from their computer, the crew burst out of the ship hungrily grabbing at the ground. Jax filled paw after paw in his maw, greedily gorging on gingerbread ground and gravel. Douglas sped quickly to a pond of butterscotch and drinking like it were air. The captain wasted no time heading for the peppermint poppies and porkishly pilfering every peice in his mouth.

Unbeknownst to our soon-to-be hefty heros, the computer was unable to tell them that the caloric value of the planet was 10 times as strong as that on earth. So what mightve been a simple binge would become something more. Jaxs slender sides began to slowly swell, turning from skinny to average to chunky. The butterscotch lake ballooned Douglas, his belly bloating and building bigger and bigger. And BB would live up to his title, his pecs from perky would sag as pudge is added to his frame. The cat began to notice the pudge when his crouch became harder to maintain with a belly in the way. At this point, however, he ignored his instincts and continued to ravage the earth, his belly brushing the ground as pound after pound piled on. Bigger and bigger he grew from 150 to 200 and 230 and 240. The butterscotch was not much better as blubber became bigger and bouncier as Douglas' endless gluttony took over filling his mouth with delicious sweetness, struggling to reach with a new chin that graced his face. The captain landed with a thud next to the tree, now nearly twice his size and, while grimacing, stabbing a spigot to the tree and sucking the sticky sap from its spout, his ass growing and growing with every gulp.

The porkish protagonists became unrecognizable, a hole filled with fur as Jax's suit failed to contain the fattening feline, the shoreline thinner and thinner as Douglas grew thicker and thicker, and the trees tuckered out as the captains calories soared by thousands on thousands.

Soon our hapless heros began to grow full, in a haze from their gratuitous gluttony, bellies nigh bursting, bellowing belches on belches in a cacophonous calorific chorus. Jax struggled to his side, rubbing his round stomach, barely cognizant of his binge. Douglas too needed a breather (and a belch) as butterscotch brewed in his belly slowly but surely turning to fat. And our captain nearly blew up, his stomach taut as a balloon, unable to breathe without popping.

Slowly but surely our heros would find rest on this planet and wake up hours later, hundreds of pounds heavier and ever hungrier for another stuffing session that'd rival a black hole.

[inkrabbit]

Hi! Hello!

That I am an enthusiast of Papa Nihil's Ghouls, there is no secret.... To know you are acepting requests about them and them only? Ahhh! I adore your writing!

Do you think the ghoul have kind of a preparation ritual before the shows? With Papa and/or without Papa. Something they do everytime before go on stage.

May you share some thoughts with us, in a narrative or by headcanon-type topics please?

LETS GOOOOOO ANOTHER ONE FOR THE NIHIL'S GHOULS ARMY <3333

but plssss I'm glad you like my writing bb <333 there isn't too much about the boys when it comes to preparations before the shows, but Nihil did notice a little habit when it came to all of them

Ares would actually step out and smoke a cigarette. He would take his time, but he was always back inside before they had to go on stage, and he always stayed looking presentable

Astraeus, before he ultimately left in 1968, would actually spend his time writing in a little notebook. When Nihil had asked about it, Astraeus confessed that he still wrote poems, just like he did when he was alive. Apparently it helped clear his mind

Neptune simply would always open his arms to Nihil and patiently wait. In all of their time performing, Nihil has only declined Neptune a hug once. However, these little before-the-show hugs became a sort of routine, and Neptune also had a habit of picking the smaller man up and giving him a bit of a squeeze

Notus would actually practice a bit before the show, normally in his dressing room. He also always had a cup of coffee that he would drink and, normally, finish before they had to go on stage. He said it helped calm his nerves

Silvanus would actually give himself a little tarot reading. They normally weren't anything too big, just a 1 or 3 card pull. While he ended up buying his own decks years later, Silvanus always used the one Nihil had originally bought him back in 1960

[notasapleasure]

Doctors season 10 run (2008) - Part 1/3

Warning! Long post...

We're here for Matt Brown, Joplin's third appearance on the long, long, long running series Doctors. He's in seven episodes, so fingers crossed he's got fun things to do!

Episode 8: Light Fingers, Loose Tongues

Lurking in a bar looking unshaven and moody! With a spectacular eye roll when his sexist acquaintance brings along a guy who's only drinking water...

"A top man, loyal as the day is long." And apparently reminds the sexist businessman of himself as a kid, though he still hasn't had any lines.

His boss is an absolute wrong-un doing a lot of Crime I am sure and I suspect dear Matt is there to do the leg-breaking his boss is so fond of joking about.

Oooh his boss is a cop-killer. Hopes of Joplin actually having something interesting to do in his run of episodes hmm....fading.

He did just get to mumble a line or two though! I'm rooting for Hired Muscle with a Heart who will dob his boss in because he fancies Jess the undercover barmaid or something.

Anyway. Pretty in leather, though the haircut's a bit nerdy. Just ignore the fact he's laughing at his boss's sexist jokes.

Uh oh is he onto Jill the undercover cop barmaid? Or is "Enjoy yer fag?" his idea of a chat-up line?

Hhhhhdhdgdgdhffff 🥵 smoulder smoulder

Undercover police lady bartender: "What's a nice lad like you doing hanging about with someone like him?"

Matt, sounding like language is a foreign concept: "I work for ‘im. So do you."

Undercover police lady bartender who’s decided she’s going to have to flirt her way out of this with the only attractive man at the table: "Well just make sure you don't pick up any of his bad habits..."

Episode 9: Walking on Sunshine

I wonder if there will be any actual doctors in this episode?

Ah Matt's sexist boss is called Jack, and also gets to have a few digs at 'the Lithuanians'. And Matt is on car-driving for the obnoxious business-school son duty.

Ooh, bb doesn't like drugs and he doesn't like Jack's spoilt son Callum and he doesn't like the idea of giving the spoilt son a fancy car. It's about respect (for the car).

Apologies that I can't report much on this episode it features some amateur comic and I had to mute all his scenes because he drove me insane. Stand up comedy plus toddlers plus the miserable self-pitying doctor eurghh.

Ooh no, Matt's a good judge of character even among the criminal underworld - Jack's son is unhinged in a very unsubtle way. Luckily, Matt is good at first aid. Man with bloodied face lying behind the bins? "Bad."

He was quite sweet and gentle getting the injured guy up and is now on 'subtly drop off the broken-nosed drug dealer at A&E duty'.

I almost gave up at the end of this because y i k e s was it dull but THEN the doctor that was annoying me got. Literally flattened by a massive truck and it was the funniest thing I've seen in ages. Solid ten-minute gut-busting laugh. On that endorphin high I will continue in the knowledge that the annoying doctor won't be back!

Episode 12: Hunger Strike

The university is selling out to ASDA (well, Walmart. Well "Novo-Mart") because it's broke. A student is on hunger strike. "Oh go and have some breakfast!" Sick burn, Treasurer.

Matt's still around, but he's lost the jacket. Joplin aficionados: I am trying to get a good look at the arm that has a scar in Death in Paradise.

Inconclusive. More research needed.

Damn he has a hoodie on now. And continues to be suspicious/vaguely threatening/maybe creeping on Jill the undercover bartender. Naughty naughty, hiding guns.

Took me an age to get these screenshots, it was like the director told him to chew his gum as obnoxiously as possible crol

Episode 14: Wooden Heart

Whatever happened in episode 13 at the bar I suppose I'll just have to figure out as best I can - Matt wasn't involved so I don't care! Basically, Jack is manipulative and controlling, his son is a psycho, and Jill the undercover policewoman had to pretend she was seeing the solicitor who knows who she is.

Boo, hiss, Jack is contemplating using a baby and its pram to smuggle Bad Things! Matt isn't present.

This is so weird. The dentist is Elvis.

Oh HAI Matt! Costumes continue to become fluffier. More greys than blacks. Does it mean anything? He's openly snarking at the boss' psycho son and the teen mum who wants work running drugs in her pram...

"She's ok...if you're into gym slips."

"Might let you have a little go in her buggy an' all."

Well at least he gets to be a little bitch :')

Ohhhhhhh my god is he gonna make his move on the undercover copper bar lady? SUCH a creep but still. Fucking would in a heartbeat.

He did not make a move :’) just Loomed.

Oh "don't you do anything but skulk?" but he's so good at it...

Those were like...the most lines he's had in this? Initiative and all that! Still menacing as fuck in a quiet way, still unclear if he's hitting on Jill, looking out for her, or threatening her.

"If I were you, I'd worry about your own back..."

---

TBC: This post is already way too long and the last four episodes he’s in (16, 17, 18, 19) are a run, so presumably link together more closely. I’ll try to do a part 2 tomorrow, for anyone who, like me, is simply dying to know what side Matt’s going to be on, and just how bonkers the denouement of this whole thing is going to be :))

[weemstar]

*goes into the tags for the drama and the hot takes because im bored and wanna watch people get torn apart by metaphorical lions like im in ancient rome*

[whatsnewalycat]

Psychomanteum / Chapter 3

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

Chapter 3: Sedated

Chapter Summary: Something something a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 7.1k+

Content / Warnings: alternating POV, death, car accident mention, drug addiction, attempt to date rape, sweet bb dee gets to go off on a mf, consent discussions, flashbacks, binge drinking / alcohol use / blackout drunk, grief, divorce, angst, yearning, spooky ghost, hangover, toxic parent

Notes: Chapter title from "Sedated" by Hozier. Y'all I keep writing a million words per chapter lol. Brevity is apparently not my forte. Ok thanks for reading, friends, I appreciate you!!

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By the next time Dieter is able to come visit you, the snow has long since melted, and the idea of wearing a jacket sounds like hell on earth. Even now, when the sun has gone to bed and the moon is glowing full and luscious in the sky, the air is a thick soup that clings to Dieter’s skin as he walks the block from a liquor store to your apartment. He’s clutching a brown paper bag, which contains a bottle of whiskey, per your request. 

When he finds the entryway to your apartment complex and buzzes your unit, your voice comes crackling over the speaker into the tiny echoing glass box of a room, “Whooo is iiiit?!”

He flinches back at the unexpected intensity of volume, but presses the speaker button and responds, “Dieter.”

“DEEEE OH MY GOD HI! Come in, come in!!” you squeal, piercing his eardrums again, quickly followed by the buzz signaling the door being unlocked. He winces back. The slurs in your voice are evident already. 

I'm too fucking sober for this shit. 

Dieter yanks the heavy door open, limbs feeling exhausted and all too real. The plastic seal of the whiskey bottle crackles as he twists the cap off on the short stroll to the elevator. 

The circular button with an up arrow lights up when he presses it. He lifts the heavy glass bottle to his lips and takes three deep swallows of the intoxicant. A soft ding chimes, and the elevator's aluminum doors slide open. He steps inside, carefully avoiding his reflection in the mirrored walls as he smashes 5 on the panel of floor choices. His eyes fix on the glowing circle until his focus fades into abstract. 

He regrets not making another stop between his hotel room and your apartment. The deep yearning to snort a line of a powdered god complex straight to the back of his skull twists around his skin. It works in tandem with the tacky layer of sweat and humidity coating his body, exposing his nerve endings to the unrelenting stimulation of the world around him. 

As the elevator signals its ascent, he shifts his attention to the open bottle, to his fist wrapped around the crinkly brown bag at its glass neck, and raises it to his lips again. He tips it upside down and it glug-glug-glugs down his throat in time with the ding of the elevator flying up past floors 1, 2, 3, 4. 

The love-hate relationship he has with the smooth burn wages inside him when he reaches floor 5. He lowers the bottle, hissing as his mouth-to-stomach pipeline protests the whiskey. His head whips back and forth violently and his body shudders. The elevator doors slide open and he steps out, rolling his shoulders and tapping his fingers against the crinkle of the brown paper bag. 

He strolls up to your door, pausing to take a deep breath. His knuckles wrap against the dark wooden door. You bellow from inside, “IT’S OPEN!” 

When he opens the door, he looks around and immediately regrets coming here. You’re sitting cross-legged on the velvet, eggplant colored couch, half-empty beer bottle wedged between your thighs, wearing nothing but a loose, white, Fleetwood Mac tank top that hangs off one shoulder and a pair of black boyshorts. Tattooed, puzzle piece skin fully on display, looking butter soft in the golden light that emits from a floor lamp in the corner. 

Your beauty and lack of modesty isn’t what sets his hair on end, though. 

It’s the string bean of a man sitting next to you, hard eyes looking all too sober in contrast to how obviously wasted you are. His long, dishwater blonde hair is pulled back in a tight bun at the crown of his head. He’s wearing a pair of gray basketball shorts. That’s it. What Dieter assumes is the man's navy blue t-shirt is discarded on the plush, white carpet of your living room floor. 

His fingers slide along your bare thigh possessively as he sizes Dieter up. You look like you barely notice the touch, or even the person, as you clap your hands together and wave at Dieter, “Deeeeeeee ohmy godddd I’m so excited to see you, come here!” 

You jump to your feet, sending the beer bottle toppling onto the floor. The mystery man looks irritated and hisses as he flinches back at the sudden movement and its subsequent mess. 

“Oh noooo!” you giggle and snort, then try to bend over and pick the bottle up and stumble forward, catching yourself before you fall into the unlit gas fireplace. 

“I got it, I got it,” Dieter strides into the kitchen and trades the bottle of whiskey for a roll of paper towels off the countertop, bunching a few into a wad as he makes his way into the living room. You grab them from Dieter’s hands, then drop to your hands and knees, pressing down into the wet spot, soaking up the spilt beer. His eyes flick to Mr. Mysterio, who’s staring down your shirt, no doubt getting a fantastic view of your tits. 

Dieter goes back to the kitchen and rifles through cupboards until he finds a glass, then pours himself a hefty dose of liquor, and asks, “Either of you want a drink?” 

Mr. Mysterio shakes his head, “Nah, I’m good, thanks man.” 

“Yes, please!” you chime as you climb to your feet and clumsily make your way into the kitchen. Dieter shudders as your hand trails across the small of his back when you pass him.

You free throw the saturated, balled up paper towels towards the garbage. Your attempt fails, and the wad hits the linolium flooring with a wet smack. It goes unnoticed, and you grab a glass from the cupboard he left open, then set it down with a clink next to his. 

You lean back against the counter, gazing at Dieter with a hazy, half-there smile, “Thank you, boo.” 

Given your current state of sloppy drunk, he considers tricking you into drinking water instead of booze, but you’re eyeing the glass expectantly. Against his better judgment, he pours the amber liquid into the glass. 

“Who’s your friend?” Dieter mumbles, nodding to the shirtless man. 

You look ponder this, then tilt your head sideways to Mr. Mysterio, whose balls deep into something on his phone, “What’s your name again?” 

“Max,” he answers without looking up. 

“Max,” you repeat, grabbing the glass and pushing yourself off the counter. 

Jesus fucking Christ. 

You tip toe back to the couch, swaying like a pendulum as you navigate the path. Dieter swallows the contents of his cup and pours more before he joins you two lovebirds on the couch. 

“So, is this gonna happen or not?” Max sighs. He finally peels his eyes away from the iPhone screen to roll his head on his shoulders and look you up and down. 

You frown and furrow your brow at him, “Ssss what happening? What’s happening?” 

He raises an eyebrow, “Sex.” 

Dieter has to physically bite his tongue. The muscle writhes beneath the grip of his teeth. Un-fucking-believable. This fucking scumbag is still trying to fuck you. 

“Mmm,” you toss your head back and forth, as if you’re actually fucking considering this, then look from Dieter to Max, “Not unnnnless Dee canjoin.” 

“No,” both men say simultaneously, but for very different reasons. 

Max stuffs his phone in his pocket and rips his shirt off the ground, then tugs it over his head, “Thanks for wasting my time.” 

Dieter’s teeth release his tongue, and he sneers, “Were you seriously gonna fuck her?” Dieter's eyes narrow in a glare at Max's back as he walks by, “She’s shitfaced.” 

Max chuckles as he heads for the door, disregarding the comments. 

Dieter’s nostrils flare and he stands up, noting that his body feels lighter, more fluid. The whiskey is hitting him. He trails behind the douchebag and fumes, “She can barely fucking stand, you think she can fucking consent?”

“Hey, man, she messaged me and told me she wanted me to come fuck her in the ass,” Max asserts, turning to face Dieter with his hands up defensively, “I was just tryna hold up my end of the deal.” 

“There no fucking deal if she doesn’t know what she’s doing,” Dieter bellows, getting heated now. 

“Listen, I don’t give a shit,” Max scoffs and walks to the door, calling back as he exits, “Good luck, man.”

Once the door closes, Dieter stomps over and deadbolts it. He mutters under his breath, "Dare you to come back here, you fucking little shit." 

When he turns around, you’re folded in on yourself, arms wrapped around your legs, face buried between your knees. Shattered sobs wrack your body. 

Dieter throws his head back and looks at the ceiling, hoping his gaze shoots straight to whatever omnipotent being hangs out at the end of that backlit tunnel he never made it to the end of. He sends a psychic signal, asking, “What the fuck did I do to deserve this?” 

The almighty tunnel demon or whatever doesn’t respond, and he supposes it doesn’t fucking matter anyway. This is happening. His shoulders sag as he releases a sigh that’s the exact square footage of his lungs. He grabs the bottle of whiskey en route to the couch, then plops down next to you and coos, “You… you ok?”

He was never good at this whole “comforting” thing. Maybe he should just leave. You probably won’t remember anyway. He seriously considers this, and he’s tossing the idea back and forth across his brain when you turn to face him. His body goes rigid as you meet his gaze. 

Your eyes are bloodshot and glassy, your pretty face sopping wet with tears. Maybe some snot, too, but you’re still fucking beautiful. Which is insane. Your face folds in its sadness and you whimper, “Why’d you say that, Dee?”

His mouth gapes open and he furrows his brow, shaking his head from side to side in confusion, “Wh-what?”

“You said ‘were you seriously gonna fuck her?’” your face contorts as you put on a faux deep voice, and Dieter assumes that’s an attempt to mock him. 

“No shit, Lua-” he scoffs, throwing his hands up in disbelief. Are you seriously mad at him for shooing away the fucking creep that tried to date rape you? 

“Why would you say it like that? Like ‘who would fuck her, that’s disgusting’? Is- is it because of my scars?” your eyes are welling with tears again and you self-consciously run a hand along the side of you that was put back together by sutures. 

He shakes his head and turns his body to face you, “No-”

“Am I really that fucking ugly?” you squeak and your body shudders as you inhale a sob. 

“Absolutely fucking not,” Dieter booms incredulously. 

Your face is wet and crumpled up like the beer-soaked paper towel on the floor beside your kitchen garbage can. You’re still crying. Is this what the whole night is gonna be? 

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and runs his hands through his hair, sending it every which way, and sighs, “You are… fucking gorgeous, Lua,” he pauses, then his brow quirks as he admits, “The things I would do to you… Unholy, unspeakable things, really, honestly. I would fuck you senseless any given day. I mean that.” 

A dopey smile spreads across your lips and you giggle. His face falls into earnestness, and he searches your face, “But I wouldn’t touch you if you were too drunk to consent. That’s a shitty fucking thing to do," he grits his teeth and cocks his jaw, dropping his gaze to the floor, "Which is why I asked that rat-faced fuck if he was seriously going to fuck you.” 

This explanation seems to satisfy you. Your puffy, red eyes finally stop producing tears. They’re far away and searching, like you’re deep in thought. 

“It’s fucked up that he would even consider it, let alone encourage it,” Dieter scratches the scruff on his neck and mutters, “Where’d you even find this guy, Lua?”

You shrug and take a deep, shaky breath, exhaling the residual cobwebs of sorrow that accumulated while you cried, “Jusss tinder.”

“Tinder,” he repeats with disdain, looking around the room at anything except your beautiful face, “Having any luck on there?” 

“Sss fine for what I need,” you inhale deep and unfold yourself, stretching your hands and feet as far away from your body as they can reach. The tank top you’re wearing pulls up and exposes a generous helping of your mid-drift. You let out a squeak and arch into the stretch. He has to avert his eyes to keep from ogling at the curve of your breasts that peak out from beneath the shirt. 

“And what’s that?” he looks down at the bottle of whiskey, then raises it to his lips, taking a big, burning swallow. 

You shake out your limbs, then look from the armrest, to him, “Can I lay m’ head on your lap? Looks comfy.”  

Dieter stammers, “Oh, uh… yeah, sure.” 

He makes room for you, leaning his back against the velvet couch as you scoot over and lay your head in his lap, draping your legs across the arm rest. Mentally, he pleads with his dick to not make a fool of him. The army green cotton shorts he’s wearing are thin and loose, and will absolutely not fucking conceal any kind of rumblings down under. 

“Hookups,” you tell him, looking up with a devious smile from your place on his lap, “No strings, y’know.”

“I am all about no-strings-attached,” he touches his fingertips to his chest and grins, peering down at you.  

“Deeeee,” you whine, gripping his free hand and interlacing your fingers with his. His dick jumps at the contact. God damn you. You don’t notice, just snuggle his arm against your chest like it’s a teddy bear and pout, “Can’t hook up with you like those guys. Too, um... stringy.” 

The admission twists his guts up in a confusing knot. He’s feeling numb around the edges, though, and moves past it, chuckling, “Too stringy?”

“I like you too much,” you blink and nod, then reach up and tap your finger to the tip of his nose and giggle, “Boop.”

“You are so fucking drunk, Lua, holy shit,” he starts laughing, hiding the heat spreading across his cheeks. He takes another long swig of whiskey, then snorts, “I’m tryin’ to get on your level.” 

You don't respond except for an amused hum. Some time passes in silence, your hands clasped together, huddled against the warmth of your chest. Sweat pooling between your skin and his. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the couch. In this darkness, he can zero in on the thudding of your heart as it pumps blood through your body, keeping you alive. 

He's envious of each blood cell that gets to course through your veins. How they get to know every square inch of you in a way he will never be able to. How they are always within the temple of your body, a civilization of organisms working tirelessly to keep their goddess alive, worshiping you on a microscopic level. 

“Can I tell you a sssecret?” you whisper loudly. His head downswings and he snaps his eyes open to meet yours, all stretched wide and dilated, like a doe's. 

“Hit me,” Dieter advises in a gravelly voice, grateful for your numbness, otherwise you might notice the way his cock is twitching at the sight of you. 

Your clutch on his hand tightens and you grin, “I wanna do this thing with the mirrors. To, mmm, talk to Ethan. With the mirror. I forgot what it’s called,” you frown and tilt your head, “psychomathlium.”

“What is it?” he cackles at the clumsy way the made up word falls from your lips. 

“Hang on-” you sit up, letting go of his hand, and start digging into the creases of the couch. He drinks to the loss. When you find your phone, you hold it above your head victoriously, “AHA!” 

He cannot fucking fathom that you have ever been able to convince yourself you're ugly.

“Gotta find the thing-” you mumble, tapping and sliding your index finger around the screen with one eye open. Dieter notes that the pulls of whiskey he had on the elevator ride up have fully saturated his nervous system, making him feel loose and wavy. You start trying to pronounce a word, only able to get as far as, “psychom-psychom-” 

He outstretches his hand, “Can I see?” 

You drop the phone in his palm, then get comfortable again, resting your head on his crotch. 

“Psychomanteum,” Dieter reads out loud. He crinkles his nose at the description google gives:

In parapsychology and spiritualism, a psychomanteum is a small, enclosed area set up with a comfortable chair, dim lighting, and a mirror angled so as not to reflect anything but darkness intended to communicate with spirits of the dead.

“Yes!” you snatch the phone from his grip to scroll down the screen, then toss it on the floor haphazardly. He watches your face fall from excitement to sadness, and your voice comes out small when you say, “I wanna ask him why.”

“Ask him why, what?” 

“Why he tried to kill us,” you answer, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He searches your face in confusion, but you're staring off into the distance, paying him no mind. His hair stands on end. 

“What do you mean?” Dieter asks hesitantly. 

“He crashed the car on purpose,” you close your eyes and stretch your hands above your head, “But he wouldn’t tell me why.”

He recalls the car ride from the diner in February, the frantic whimpers that fled your lips when you were asleep. The only discernible phrase Dieter could hear was, “Slow down, not buckled-” 

There are a million questions that cross his mind. Was he abusive? Was he drunk? Did he say anything to you? What fucking happened, Lua? 

When considering which question to lead with, it dawns on him that asking right now wouldn’t be fair to you. Even if the questions itch the insides of his throat. He wants you to want to tell him, and won’t try to divulge your secrets when you’re in a vulnerable state. 

“So… you want to make a psychomanteum?” he drags his eyes around your stonewalled face. 

“Mmmhmm," you nod loosely. The motion grazes your head against the soft length of him and generates a lusty ache deep inside his groin. With a sigh, you flick your eyes to his and admit, "I’m too scared to do it by myself, though. Sss why you shoul' do it with me.” 

“Right… right now?” Dieter’s eyes widen. 

“Why not?” you shrug. 

His brain sloshes around in his skull as he shakes his head vigorously, “No. No no no. We’re not going to drunk dial your dead husband, who tried to murder you, via mirror.” 

Your laugh is squeaky and delirious, and you throw your hands over your face as you snort, “Well, when you put it like that…” 

“I do, I do put it like that,” Dieter finalizes. His fingers are filled with energy when he thinks about how soft your hair looks, and he wills himself not to run them through the strands, then he mumbles, “What else do you wanna do?”

“Fuck?” you look up at him with hopeful eyes. Hopeful, half-open, completely offline eyes. 

Yes.  

“Absolutely not,” he chuckles, resisting the urge to rub his thumb against your cheek, and a spark jolts his insides when he tells you, “Maybe tomorrow. But right now you are trashed. Next idea.” 

“Hmmm,” you scrunch your face up and tap your index finger to your chin, then your face lights up, “Wanna lay in bed and watch shitty TV?” 

“Let’s do it,” Dieter smiles. 

You jump up a little too quick and stumble sideways before gaining your footing with a giggle, then you start down the hallway. 

He follows you, but stops dead in tracks at the closed door next to the kitchen when he thinks he hears something inside. His smile fades as a darkness with weight settles on his shoulders. It seeps into his bones, doubling their weight, pulling his soul to the ground. 

You pop into the doorway of your bedroom, backlit by the bright ceiling light inside, with a great big gorgeous smile on your face. Your hand extends towards him, “Come on! Do you want umm… pajamas?”

“Is there someone in there?” Dieter furrows his brow and points to the closed door. 

“Not… really,” your eyes flick to the door and you shift your weight to one hip, then clamp your lips shut with your teeth and avoid his gaze. 

That’s a weird fucking answer. But the twisting in his guts tells him he doesn’t want to know more than that. 

“I’ll, um… I’m gonna use the bathroom first,” he mumbles, then averts his eyes as he skirts by you into the bathroom. He closes the door and takes a deep breath, pressing his palms against the bathroom counter over the sink. 

That wretched feeling sucks him towards the center of the earth. Like he’s sinking in a tarpit. He shoves his hands in the front pockets of his shorts and digs around to see if, by some divine miracle, a bag of coke has magically spawned inside. No such luck. 

Maybe he can just ignore that insatiable burning in his chest. The yearning that’s pulling all the skin in his body too tight for comfort. That chronic emptiness that just intensified tenfold. 

What the fuck is in that room? 

He looks up in the mirror. The man that stares back at him looks like shit. Darkness like bruises stain the tear troughs under his pained eyes. His skin is dull and lifeless. Fuck, he just looks hollow. Like those vacant-eyed chocolate rabbits people gift children on Easter Sunday. No life to be found here. Nobody's home. 

With a sigh, he leaves the bathroom, flipping the light switch off behind him. A sickening shudder runs down his spine when he crosses the hallway to your bedroom. 

An image splices itself into his mind’s eye just for a second. Just one single frame of a man’s inky black shadow, somehow darker than the darkness of the room. 

A warning. 

Inexplicably, he understands that’s what it is: a warning. 

Then he steps through the threshold of your bedroom and he’s doused in artificial light. The room, its cream colored walls littered with colorful paintings and shelves of plants, feels different than the rest of the apartment. A plush white rug covers most of the hardwood floor. One large window, visible through the sheer emerald green curtains, runs parallel to the length of your bed, opposite the doorway. 

It feels… safe. 

You’re laying on your side, hugging a pillow, one leg hooked over the edge of the rust-colored comforter. The flesh of your thigh is exposed to the air. The swell of your ass catches the light. His fingers twitch as they think about how your skin would give under their grip. 

He imagines what it would be like to sink his teeth into you.

“You comin’ or what?” you mumble without breaking your line of sight from the tv mounted in the corner of the room. He shakes the depraved thoughts from his head and approaches the other side of the bed, eying the side table drawer that displays a photo of you and Ethan on a beach somewhere with white sands and perfectly tranquil turquoise water. 

He looks up at the cavernous black doorway. That warning churns his stomach again. 

But then his gaze flicks to you, and you’re looking back at him with your eyebrows drawn together over doe eyes. He thinks of you having to go to bed every night alone in this depressing fucking apartment. With a sigh, he pulls the covers back and crawls between the white sheets.  

All of a sudden he doesn’t know what to do with his extremities. How does he normally lay in bed? Surely, not like he is now. Like a corpse boxed into a coffin. 

Is it offensive to think that in a dead man’s spot? 

You cut him off from his spiraling thoughts as you tug on his shirt and mumble, “Dee?”

He doesn’t say anything, just turns his head to look at you.

“Can you cuddle me?”

There’s such a childlike innocence to the way you ask him this question. It’s all pink hubba bubba and Saturday morning cartoons. He can tell the intention is not romantic or sexual. It’s just comfort. 

So he nods and hums in a gravelly voice, “Yeah, come here, doll." 

You kick your legs all the way under the blankets and wiggle closer as he wraps an arm around you. Your body settles against his, cheek to his chest, one arm draped across his belly. His hand lands on your hip. It feels natural and innocuous, so he doesn’t move. 

It’s like you’re hit by a tranquilizer. Your body melts into his with such ease. His rigid muscles go lax, too. The colorful noise on the TV is just background. 

“I miss this part the most,” you whisper the statement like it’s a secret. 

He hums in acknowledgement and closes his eyes, sinking further into contentment. 

“Do you?” you ask in a yawn.

“Do I what?”

“Y’know, miss cuddling with your wife?” 

Dieter remembers the hotel room off the coast of Italy, the day after he and Anika were married. White curtains flapping in the breeze off the Grand Canal. Late morning chatter floating up through the open windows. 

Her back was pressed against his chest, a layer of sweat gluing them together. His nose was buried in her golden hair, breathing in the floral bouquet of the flowers that were anchored in her locks 24 hours prior. Their breathing moved in sync. He felt a warmth spread across his body as he marinated in the moment. 

He blinked his eyes open, waking at his own pace. When he adjusted his head to peer up at the frescoed ceiling, he studied the cherubs playing in the fluffy white clouds that decorated the sky blue background. His mouth moved in the shape of a silent word. 

Too afraid to say it out loud, too bold to keep it inside. It’s what that morning was, though, he was sure of it. 

Heaven. 

At home in their bed, dozens of times in those first few months, she would nuzzle into him as they fell asleep. As they woke up. After sex. While watching movies. Doing nothing at all. His lips spelled out the muted confession. 

Heaven. 

“I do,” he whispers his secret in exchange for yours. Evening the scales. Or whatever. 

“Do you love her?”

His skin tightens as the question bubbles between the layers. He gnashes his jaw back and forth as he considers this. 

In contrast to the months of content cuddling and hot sex, here were months of him reaching across the mattress in the dark, asking, “Can I hold you?” or “Can you hold me?” or “Annie, please, can you just look at me?” 

He was always met with silence. 

One night he quietly admitted, “I feel like a ghost each time I come home.” 

To which she responded, “A ghost wouldn’t leave me here with no one,” then got up to sleep in another bedroom. By the next morning, she looked right through him again. A phantom in his own home. 

It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. 

Dieter thinks about the divorce petition his lawyer, Gene, received from Anika’s lawyer. He has 3 more days to respond before the decision could default. Gene left him a voicemail earlier today explaining that defaulting could result in millions of dollars lost. 

But he can’t bring himself to sign it. 

If he signs it, it’s real. They’re divorced. Anika will go back to Europe. He would rather die than live in that huge, empty house without her. Each room haunted by memories of her, the good and the bad. 

“Do you love Ethan?” he finally returns when he’s unable to come up with an answer. 

“Yeah,” you breathe a sad chuckle, then sniffle, “That’s why I don’ understand.”

A split-second vision of a man-shaped black hole in the other bedroom invades his brain. The alarm bells start ringing as a shiver runs down his back and clutches his guts. But he swallows hard, clears his throat, and declares, ”We’ll do the psychomanteum tomorrow.” 

“Really?” you roll around to face him, and his hand slides to the small of your back. He’s acutely aware of the pads of his fingers resting on your soft skin. How tempting it is to set them into motion, to feel more of you. 

“Yeah,” he answers. Your face erupts in this big, beautiful smile that is contagious, making him grin despite the storm roiling inside him. 

Then your gaze flicks to his mouth and back to his eyes in a question. A question that divides him as his tongue slides along his lower lip subconsciously. You search his face for an answer, leaning forward enough that he inhales the whiskey taste on your breath. 

Your hand reaches up and your nails rake through his hair. A shudder rattles his spine and sucks the air from his lungs. The ache he feels when he holds himself back is torture. 

“Why don’t we go to bed, Lua?” he rumbles. 

You place your thumb on his lower lip and run it along the edge, sending a tremble down the center of him. His eyes flutter shut, and he feels your whisper hot against his skin, “Sss that what you wanna do?” 

No. Absolutely fucking not. 

But the slurring in your speech reminds him how fucked up you are, and the warning is twisting its way through his intestines. 

“Yeah,” he decides, opening his eyes to flash you a gloomy smirk. 

Your features sag in disappointment and you draw back, tucking yourself into his side with your head against his chest. You mutter, “Sorry.” 

The pain in your voice is apparent. You’ll get over it, though, once you return to sobriety and realize it would have been a mistake. 

“Do you want me to turn the lights off?” he asks, frowning up at the brassy ceiling light illuminating the room. 

“No,” you yawn, “Dark is scary.” 

He glances over at the darkness hovering on the other side of the open doorway and nods in agreement, “Ok.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes, and he thinks that maybe you’ve fallen asleep, until you mumble out, “Are you gonna leave when I’m asleep?” 

“Do you want me to?" 

"No."

"Then I won't."

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

But when your breaths get long and deep, and all the residual tension held in your tenuous state of consciousness slackens, the gnawing at his brain starts again. The Big Empty, gutting him and carving him out like a jack-o-lantern.

His eyes are fixed on the TV, but it’s just lights and noise. Nothing is absorbing. All he can think about is how much he wants to get rid of this sinking feeling. He may have promised you he’d stay, but would you really remember? Or would you be more likely to freak the fuck out when you wake up from your blackout next to him? 

Really, he’d be doing you a favor by leaving.

He takes a deep breath in and slowly releases it into the bedroom, then cautiously reaches down into his shorts pocket and fishes out his iPhone. There’s an unread message. 

> GLENN: > You coming out?

His molars catch the smooth inside of his cheek and bite down. A soft little snore emits from your throat. His eyes flick to the dark bedroom doorway and the tar pit of sadness starts sucking him down. Static vibrates hot in his veins. He texts back. 

< ME: < Yeah. Where? 

When you wake, it’s with a start, eyes snapping open with anxiety as you’re catapulted into consciousness. Your TV is blaring 90 Day Fiancé and the bedroom lights are still on. You sit upright and notice the covers are drawn back on Ethan’s side of the bed. 

Stomach acid rises in your throat as you start patting down your surroundings in search of your phone, taking a deep breath of relief when you pull it out from beneath your pillow. Two unread texts, sent hours apart. 

> DEE:  > Going to liquor store then I’ll be there

> DEE:  > Sorry, had to go. Text me when u wake up. 

You drop your phone and lay back down, covering your face with your hands as you groan out loud, “What the fuck did I do?” 

With your eyes clamped shut, you try to recount the night before. Pouring glasses of wine while talking to your mother on the phone. She was crying, telling you about how she was having a difficult time dealing with Ethan’s death. She doesn't understand why you’re not as sad as everyone else. She informed you that when her husband died, she was practically bedridden for a year. 

Like you don't remember. Like you weren't the one that picked up her slack to avoid living on the street. 

“Just because I’m not calling you bawling or posting bullshit on social media doesn’t mean I’m not fucking sad, mom,” you growled, then emptied the Pinot Grigio into your glass. 

Shockingly, she did not appreciate this. Her voice assaulted your ear drums from hundreds of miles away as she snipped, “Well I’m sorry for being a human with feelings, not a robot.” 

When you wouldn’t dignify her comment with a response, she continued to bait you, “I thought I could count on you of all people to know how I feel, but I guess not.” 

You rolled your eyes and put back the glass of wine like it was a shot of liquor. 

“Now I know better.” 

A pause to wait for your non-existent response. 

“Now I know better than to bother you with my feelings again. Nope, can’t talk to Louella unless it’s about her, isn’t that right? All about you.” 

That exceeded your limit for bullshit. 

“Yeah, that’s definitely what I’m doing right now, mom, making it all about me,” you scoffed, then hung up on her. 

After this, you dug out a bottle of whiskey from the back of a kitchen cabinet. You rejected her calls until you got drunk enough to not give a fuck if she went to voicemail or not, laughing out loud to yourself as each voicemail notification popped up on your screen, "Fill it up, bitch, I don't give a fuuuuuck!”

You remember snippets from there forward. Sexting with some guy on tinder. Dieter’s text letting you know his flight landed, asking where to meet you. The desperate urge to fuck. Laying in bed with Dieter. 

Your stomach clenches and you groan again when you remember trying to get him to kiss you. He rejected you. 

You lift your phone and send a text to him.

< ME:  < Gooood morning sunshine. Please tell me I didn’t make a total ass of myself last night. 

To your surprise, he responds immediately. 

> DEE: > Lol no way  < ME:  < Do you still want to hang out with me? Hahahaha  > DEE: > Obviously  > U hungry?  < ME:  < Only if you’re bringing food here 👀  < I look like shit and refuse to be seen in public  > DEE: > Impossible for u to look like shit lol fucking goddess  > Be there soon 

Your stomach flips upside down and makes you dizzy. Last night’s inconsolable desire to be fucked hard returns with a vengeance. A tingle twists at the your center when you imagine what Dieter would be like in bed. 

You’ve been on the phone with him while he was painting and drawing. He seems to get lost in a trance sometimes, rambling out the narration of his creative process. Messy, passionate strokes. An intuition for detail. Would he do the same with your body as his canvas?

You roll on your side to look at the empty half of the bed. Guilt that’s heavy and blue pools in your chest. It feels like a betrayal to wish Dieter would have accepted your advances. 

It’s not like you haven’t been having sex. You’ve actually been very successful in keeping your sexual needs met. There’s a divine kind of peace you find with another body pressed against yours as you work towards mutual ascension. They touch you in delicious ways that make your sorrows melt away, then you never have to deal with them again. Anonymous orgasm donors that you scrub from existence at the first opportunity. It’s exactly what you need. 

That, wherein, lies the problem with Dieter. You don’t want to never have to deal with him again. In fact, you like having to deal with him. He’s goofy, fun to talk to, and says nice shit like fucking goddess. You don’t want to dispose of him. 

With a sigh, you drag yourself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water falls on your head, washing your sins down the drain. A baptism into this new day. 

“How you feeling now, doll?” Dieter asks as you curl up into yourself, resting your head on a black and white checkered pillow. The greasy, tangy scent of Chinese food lingers from half-eaten takeout boxes that litter the end table on the other side of the arm rest, only about a foot away from your face. 

You groan, “Still terrible. I can’t believe I invited some fucking rando to my apartment. I’m so sorry, but also thank you for telling him to fuck off.”  

He chuckles, “Relax, forget it.” 

“Also,” your heart pounds in your chest when you lift your gaze to his, studying his reaction, “Thank you for, um… not… letting me kiss you.” 

The corners of his mouth turn down as he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, “You were pretty drunk, I figured you would regret it.” 

You sit up and lean away from the now repugnant smell of lo mein, scooting closer to Dieter, admitting, “I haven’t, um… kissed anyone since, you know, Ethan died.” 

His eyebrows raise in surprise, “Really?”

“Yeah,” your face heats up and you continue to stammer, “I’ve like… hooked up with people or whatever, but that’s… different. I- I don’t know.“ 

“I believe ‘no-strings-attached’ is the phrase you used,” he smirks, turning his head to search your face. 

“Oh, is it?” you laugh, throwing your head back and covering your face in embarrassment, “Of course I told you that.” 

“That reminds me-”

“Fucking hell,” you groan and drop your head to your chest, mentally preparing for the next embarrassing thing that blackout you did. 

“No no no, I told you I’d do the psychomanteum with you today,” he tells you. 

Your breath catches. The betrayal you feel towards yourself is deep and cutting. Why would you fucking tell him about wanting to do that? You frown and turn to him, “What did I tell you?” 

“I- um, I mean,” he stammers, shifting in his seat as he crosses one leg over the other and looks up at the TV, “You told me that he tried to kill you both. And you wanted to um... to ask him why.” 

Shards of glass slice through the soft innards of your belly. Shame, hot and red and viscus, floods from the wounds and fills you to the top. You bring your knees to your chest and hug them tight, folding in on yourself, “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t need to tell you about that.” 

“Wait, why are you apologizing?” he sounds bewildered. 

You shake your head and shrug, unable to come up with an answer. Your skin burns with embarrassment and you wish you could disappear. 

“Hey,” the couch next to you shifts and his palm presses against your back as he rumbles, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but if you wanna do the mirror thing, I’ll do it with you.” 

A sigh expands your lungs and you turn your head to look at him. His puppy dog eyes search your face for a clue as to what you’re thinking. Tears burn the backs of your eyes and you choke out, “I feel like an idiot for telling you about it. I don’t know.” 

He hums and rubs the back of his neck. Tilts his head from side to side, then scratches his chin as he tells you, “When I was a teenager, I had a friend named James.”

You sit up straight and furrow your brow at him. He leans forward, pressing his elbows into his knees, “We were military brats, both our families were stationed at Fort Lejeune in North Carolina.” 

One of his legs starts bouncing rapidly and he traces the lines of his palm. You reach out and grab his hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, then give him a firm squeeze of encouragement. He glances over, meeting your gaze. His eyes are tear-brimmed and bloodshot. You nod, as if to prod him forward. 

He frowns and drops his eyes to your clasped hands, then continues, “We had to move. I wrote and called him for months, but I never got a response, so I gave up. A year after we moved, I found out that he, um… he drowned in the river.” 

“Oh, Dee-” you breathe, and tears tingle behind your nose and eyes before they overflow onto your cheeks. 

“I’ve tried to contact him on a ouija board more times than I care to admit,” a sad little chuckle bubbles up from his chest, out his nose, “So, yeah, I get it. Wanting answers, closure, all that."

You nod and watch him, studying the tics in his facial muscles. He’s obviously lost in the expanse of his brain. Your thumb sets itself into motion, smoothing a circle against his hand. He takes a sharp breath in and looks up, shaking himself out of his trance, then says, “Anyway. I’ll do it, too. See if I can talk to him.”

An ache of affection radiates across your chest. You sigh, feigning annoyance as you grin and squeeze his hand, then release him to wipe away the tears on your face, “Fine. Ok. Let’s do it.” 

[ Next Chapter ]

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Explanations for the Welcome to the Division Iceberg

Welp, I feel like Twitter is too constraining and I've already talked about my server several times on Tumblr, so I might as well discuss this here too.

For the truly uninitiated, you need to know basic Discord terminology and also Hypnosis Mic information.

For reference, here's the entire iceberg:

Anything with an asterisk on the end is self-explanatory. All notes are correct as of writing this post and as per Aria's observations (or explanations to them). External links will be shared, but in the interests of people joining the server, no actual content from the server will be shared here (the iceberg was Aria's doing, which is why it is possible to reproduce it above).

Tier 1:

- Sam in general: Note this is just "Sam", not necessarily "Sam in the #general channel". As you can tell from the rest of the iceberg, Sam causes a lot of chaos.

- Sam soap addiction: Sam apparently likes eating soap and drinking shampoo. This has gotten to the point where Sam (and others) call a server member "Soapie" instead of "Sophie".

- Sam and DMas soap opera:

1. Sam chases DMas.

2. DMas resists.

3. Repeat steps 1 and 2.

- welcoming new members*

- animal posting*

Tier 2:

- DMas’s cursed edits: Certain images created by the resident cursed editor. They include "Doppo crab", "Buster Bras" (where they have bras for eyes), "Ill-Dog", some of the server emojis (such as :SasaraCursed:) and "Nami Riou" (combining Riou with Nami from One Piece).

- Go to sleep!: Many of the server's regular members have terrible sleep schedules, prompting this exclamation from other members in different timezones who are not yet ready to sleep. In Aria's words, these members are "incorrigible" in this regard.

- simping in general: Note this is just "simping", not necessarily "simping in the #general channel". "Simping" itself refers to any actions which indicate extreme romantic desire for something and a "simp" is someone who simps. In the server, the simp can call themselves out/others can call them out for their simping with a blushing emoji (typically :HifumiFlushed: or a blushing moai) or :pepeSimp:.

- sama: An honorific used to show respect. In HypMic, it is typically used for Samatoki, but in the server it has been applied to admins and non-admins alike (most commonly "TP-sama").

- voice reveal: The revealing of one's voice to other Discord users. Do this at your own risk.

- lurking admins: Admins have a higher propensity than non-admins to set their statuses to "Invisible". This results in a higher amount of lurking from them.

- server fruits: After Snichiro and Dawid used watermelons as a stealth BB sign instead of the more usual hearts, fruits (?) were assigned to the divisions: BB = watermelon, MTC = pineapple (because they're spiky and eat you from the inside), FP = lemon (due to colour, could have been a banana), MTR = coconut (due to Papillon's palm tree, could have been a mango), DH = orange (:tangerine: on Discord, due to colour) and eggplant for BAT (due to colour, an eggplant is a berry). Basically, blame TP, Snichiro and Aria for this.

- gacha salt: Being sad/angry about not getting what you want from gacha game pools. Most typically for ARB SSRs that won't arrive for players that want them.

- Aria’s DH & BAT summaries: Aria's summaries of the DH & BAT manga aren't very popular reactions-wise, but they are consistent.

- “your mom” jokes: Isaiah typically uses these juvenile jokes against others, so those others started using them back, typically in the form of the GIF known in the emojis as :HitoyaHip:, which reads "Doing your mom/doing your mom". Some attempts to "your mom" Isaiah have backfired in the past.

- cursed Sasara emotes (:sasaraUltimate:, :sasaraStare:, :sasaraCursed:): 3 emojis which see regular use in the server. The stare and the ultimate are typically used in conjunction with each other so it appears as if Sasara is momentarily shooting eye beams.

Tier 3:

- fan divisions: Original divisions created by server members. Generally discussed in #fan-creations.

- Crumb protection squad: Crumb (a user) gets bullied every so often, so a "protection squad" formed around her. Made infamous by Snichiro's drawing, which contains (aside from Crumb) Snichiro, Miles, TP, Isaiah, Mira, Sam, Ichi, Echo and Aria.

- Miles is more than just horses: Miles is sometimes depicted as a horse because one time, his friend tagged him about a horse racing anime (possibly Fanfare of Adolescence). This also led to him being depicted as a horse in Snichiro's drawing of the Crumb protection squad.

- TP’s Gangsta Paradise: TP once sang the song in question. Apparently, it was good enough to simp for.

- Go to #general!: A request from the admins (or DMas's incorrect assumptions of such) to head to the #general channel after derailing from a relevant conversation. Most commonly associated with Aria.

- reacting with emojis while lurking: One way to out a lurker is to observe who is reacting to the messages. Typically associated with Crumb, but has also foiled Miles and Aria in the past.

- Isaiah’s deez nuts: "Deez nuts" jokes are also common. Isaiah sometimes tries really hard to worm them into otherwise normal conversations, so they have been looked down upon by some members for this reason - thus, after a certain point, they lost exposure. The most infamous one is "Reallytugama", which is - according to Isaiah's attempts to stick it in the convo - a "classic... teapot from 1954", so "Reallytugama" is associated with a teapot emoji.

- Isaiah being a fool: After Isaiah gets hit with a joke, sometimes he feels down about it enough to change his server nickname. Miles has thus made Isaiah lose The Game for this.

- wkwkwk, kekekek (etc.): Irregular laughs made by certain members. Wkwkwk belongs to DMas, is read “wekawekaweka” and means "hehehe" in Indonesian. Kekekek is a derivative of the kek meme...or just a mischievous laugh. Take your pick. There is also "ahgagaga" - for reference, DMas once called the laugh from Mr Krabs (from Spongebob Squarepants) "ak-gagaga".

- Miles has never done anything wrong :gentaroAngel: : A snowclone suggesting the ostensible purity of the member in question. Most typically associated with Miles and the :gentaroAngel: emoji, hence the name.

- bonking: The use of a GIF (most commonly a GIF of Yoshi, from Mario, swinging a giant hammer on to the user) or an emoji (most typically :DoppoBonk:) to digitally hit a user. Typically for "horny thoughts", but can also be used for other misdemeanours. Can also be requested from others if you think you deserve it.

- designated moms (e.g. Yokomama): Certain female members of the server with strong allegiances to their division can call themselves "division mothers", as if adopting the characters in their division. Most commonly seen with Mad Trigger Mom (Ajin, also called "Yokomama" or "Yokoma" for short).

- Roach-o: Crumb's sister once called Rosho "Roach-o" due to his hair antennae, which led to cursed edits and a discussion about The Metamorphosis (by Franz Kafka). Ichi caused Crumb to hate Roach-o, specifically.

- “ass is on fire”: Parody lyrics of Survival of the Illest, arising from DMas's description of how he feels after eating spicy chicken from KFC.

- McDonald’s caps: Caps from McDonald's, Photoshopped on to HypMic characters. Inspired by Jyushi working at a parody McDonald's in the ARB event Break Into! (2nd half). Mira's fault, see original tweet here.

- Crumb’s oujia summoning: Crumb using a GIF, commonly of a woman with a crystal ball, to summon "dead" members of the server back from the dead (occasionally accompanied by "get the Luigi board", since "oujia" has been proven by members to be a hard thing to spell). Members declare themselves "dead" if they are particularly embarrassed about a mistake they made, if they get "shot" by other users' edits (incl. gun reactions, e.g. :sasaraGun:) and so on.

- Mudae wishing record for Kazuha: Refers to Kazuha from Genshin Impact.

- mute/horny jail: Two functions an admin can use against others as punishment. As its name implies, "horny jail" derives from the meme, but its actual function is as an alternative to muting.

- Multitalented Miles: Miles is talented and has been caught on late nights (in his timezone) gathering new info to share with others at appropriate times. This gets to the point members take notes on what talents he has. Almost all instances are said by Crumb. There is also a "multitalented Aria" derivative.

Tier 4:

- the “hoe” incident: Mistyping "how" sometimes results in members accidentally calling each other "hoe", although most instances get fixed after members realise their mistake. Sometimes associated with a GIF of the Cat in the Hat calling the garden tool in question a "dirty hoe".

- Gentaro’s birthday 2021: Everyone was Gentaro that day. Even Dawid, who was Ichiro at the time (see below), was Gentaro.

- Crumb’s copypasta: Created in a moment of extreme simpage. The full original text (which lacked emojis) is: "TP-SAMA MY FRIEND UNDOUBTEDLY A TRUE FRIEND IN MY LIFE SHE IS GORGEOUS AND LOVELY AND BEAUTIFUL AND MY EVERYTHING AND AMAZING AT RAPPING GP AND GIVES ME REASON TO LIVE AND IS MY PLATONIC HONEY AND MY PLATONIC SWEETIE AND MY ANGEL AND ONCE AGAIN A VERY GOOD FRIEND SHE IS PERFECT AND I SO VERY MUCH PLATONICALLY LOVE HER SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME MY GOSH SHE IS EVERYTHING MY PLATONIC LOVE A LOVELY WOMAN AND A GODDESS SHE IS THE MOMENT HHHHHHFFFFFFFF". This has also been expanded to include other members/other happenings (such as karaoke parties and Aria's birthday).

- server rap battles: Not fan division rap battles, but battles between members. In order for these to happen, there must be a reason to fight and a neutral admin must be available to use the #rap-arena channel + referee. Examples are pinned in #general. One battle notably didn’t happen due to one of its participants being absent.

- face reveal: The revealing of one's face to other Discord users. Do this at your own risk.

- karaoke parties: Designated times for singing in the voice chat (henceforth "VC") channel. Also known as "VC concerts". “VC sessions” can also include this, although sometimes those involve more general voice-based discussion too (e.g. voice reveals).

- Mudae shenanigans*

- DMas using Indonesian: DMas is Indonesian and is proud of it. That includes his national language. However, he mostly uses the language in the server when he does not want to be understood by others, such as when he wishes to lament what's going on regarding Sam.

- Drunk TP typing: "TP" refers to Animanian, commonly known by the name "Trash Panda" after the release of Glory or Dust due to her love of Mad Trigger Crew. TP was drunk during the streamed concert of day 1, round 1 of the 2nd DRB (7th August 2021) and hilarity ensued.

- EECHEROE YAHMADAH (etc.): 1) A Buster Bros derivative of "Attention all MTC stans", featuring a "Kanye East". 2) Sam's pronunciation of "Ichiro Yamada", picked up on during a VC session. There are also names of other HypMic characters being said in Sam's voice, such as "Jayuto" and "Ramooda" (hence the "etc."). "Ramooda" himself also added to the existing "cowboy Ramuda" injoke.

- Nezuko snipe: Referring to an incident in Mudae regarding Nezuko from Demon Slayer.

- ARB oath: A promise Dawid, Ajin and Mira made with each other regarding the game - if they did not get their desired SSR, they would have to sell an SSR that was dear to them. Pinned in #alternative-rap-battle.

- server siblings: Pairs of siblings in the server is not uncommon. As of this post, there are 5 known pairs.

- guessing first names (particularly Miles’s): Sometimes members try to guess each other's real names. Sometimes their guesses really suck. TP coded a program to figure out Miles's (apparently she got it) while most others used brute force.

The full hint list for Miles's real name (note: Aria already knows the name, which is why the list is reproduced here):

1) Starts with W

2) Ends in E

3) Has a Y somewhere

4) Miles will only give 3 of the 6 letters

5) It was formed from a random keysmash

6) Has a silent letter in it, so it's hard to pronounce

7) Has no X

8) No repeated letters

- Isaiah’s love of capybaras: Isaiah loves capybaras, to the point his profile picture was one at one point. He has also called himself "Happybara" due to this, as well as being depicted as a capybara in Snichiro's Crumb protection squad.

- Dawid’s plush parrot*

- Rune boy and his husband, Sprune: "Rune boy" is the name Snichiro came up with for a certain member whose name was entirely runes and basically unpronounceable - this member would be known by the name "Kaldr" later, which is an approximation of the runes he is using even as of the time of writing. Rune was engaged at one point - "Sprune" is the "spouse of Rune".

- Mudae hates Miles: A Miles-and-Mudae-specific variant of "gacha salt".

- Dawid’s Pepes: Dawid uses Pepe the frog emotes, stole the "yes" and "no" Pepes for the server and once gave an invite to the server they hail from to Aria. This led to Pepes appearing across the server, typically as reactions.

- Aria's scree: The sound an annoyed Aria makes, typically to tell members to go to sleep. There are apparently happy screes and angry screes, but only angry ones have ever been heard.

- Aria's manzai slap: Aria sometimes resorts to physical violence for truly stupid moments from others, digitally slapping others with a harisen (it commonly takes the form of "slaps [member] like a manzai comedian"). Described as a middle ground between a :DoppoBonk: and a :PepeBonk: (for severe crimes, like hypocrisy) in severity.

- DMas’s headpat*

- Perseus coming in to share his wisdom: Perseus, also known as "Hunt Stockwell", sometimes comes in to share messages which can be extremely irrelevant to the conversation being had and are typically meant to be witty or otherwise "wise". Apparently, he is banned in at least one other server for this very reason (as of this post, he is not banned in the server yet). One time, he ended up reciting part of Call Me Maybe (by Carly Rae Jepsen) because he did go with the convo provided.

Tier 5:

- Oh sit :chair: : Typo of "oh s***". Aria was so amused, they added :chair:, so now when "oh sit" is typed, you must reply with :chair:.

- Isaiah became a horse: Isaiah gained a horse role once, due to Miles. The horse role is a very privileged position, because in Dawid's words, "being OG horse boy means being more powerful than [an] admin".

- Dawid’s date in Mudae: Dawid asked Mudae for a date once via $42ball. Mudae said "It's obvious", which members took to mean "yes".

- Barack Obama (Mudae): An infamous Mudae character. Used in an $arena battle at least once.

- Analise’s P(okemon collection): Analise’s collection was big. It had its own channel when Analise decided to release all her Pokemon.

- the moderation ad: Analise was once approached in DMs and offered payment for a moderation position.

- Rei maid cosplay: A self-explanatory photoshoot from jayhatescos.

- Jexus’s selfie*

- gaming livestreams*

- DMas singing: Self-explanatory, but typically refers to DMas saying "yeah!" or rolling his Rs during a certain VC concert.

- Mira talking in Spanish*

- Dawid being Ichiro: Dawid was, for several months, "Ichiro", on the server, to the point he was commonly "Admin Ichiro" like Frostbyte is commonly "Admin Doppo". However, Dawid eventually used his own name because apparently he is not creative.

- Aria’s real name*

- Dawid femboy power triangle: Dawid got both Astolfo (from Fate/Grand Order) and Felix (from Re:Zero) in Mudae, leading to the creation of this. Who's the 3rd member? Dawid himself.

- ocean channel/Sam loves fish: A mass of ocean/fish puns (and other sea creatures, because Sam mistook a seal for a walrus and thus got the phrase "walrus of approval") resulted in this channel, where only admins and Sam, the resident fish lover, could only post fish, despite her getting crabby about it. Why Sam? At the time, it was to point out she has the memory of a goldfish.

- DMas being yellow*

- Analise’s fight for Xiao: Refers to Xiao from Genshin Impact.

- TP’s Saburo profile pic: TP entered the server with a Saburo profile pic. It was an inside joke between her and her brother, Ramuda's Husband, to worship the character in question.

- Dawid knowing HypMic from 4chan*

- Isaiah’s band: According to the guy himself, the band's name is Flammable Cargo. Originally, they were going to be called Da$ Nutz and they were going to name their songs after deez nuts jokes (Sugma, Ligma etc.), but they decided against it since the names were placeholders. They then saw a sign saying "Flammable Cargo".

- Isaiah’s date story: Isaiah took a girl out on a few dates, including prom. On the 3rd date, he got ice cream on his shirt. For prom, he made a cowboy-themed sign.

- Isaiah’s Godzilla lore knowledge*

- Matcha: A tiny dragon from MilkMochaBear. Isaiah has some Matcha emojis. Matcha is also capable of stealing people, apparently...their hearts, at least.

- lion eating a baboon video: Something DMas posted in #general. The baboon's face could be seen in the lion's mouth. Other server members disliked it so much, the video link was taken down by Aria not too long after its posting.

- Yuji and Ryuu’s server getting hacked: The siblings approached the server with the question, "[W]hat do [yo]u do if [yo]u own a server and a hacker comes in but he ain't doing anything????" Turns out it had not actually been hacked, but it was someone trying to scare them into believing so.

Update: Despite Aria's best efforts, some mistakes were made, but they're fixed now.

[soliavenne]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and then send it to the last five blogs that were last in your notifications, anonymous or not ❤️ Take care and don't forget to drink water uwu

3 random facts huh... alright, @kaed - I'll disclose some that I haven't shared yet in this blog to make it fresh. 😂😂

1. My favorite dream that I had so far is that I was a ramen shop owner. The setup was the same as Ichiraku's, and apparently I was a joyful, wise chef living my life making people happy with my food. Not entirely sure if this was some cosmic sign telling me to quit nursing school, or I probably just had too much sodium since homemade ramen was my dinner prior to this really immersive dream. Man I swear I almost teared up when I woke up because it was like a really happy, fulfilled dream.

2. I'm 90% from memorizing and perfecting Gaara's childhood memory theme song on Kalimba. I was practicing earlier today! 😄❤

3. My bedroom is painted pastel pink, purple and dark plum. It has black and brown accents in the guise of furnitures.

I hope this was at least interesting! 🤣🤣 Thank you soo much for sending this ask bb!! 😊❤❤ Lots of loveeee! Take care too, and don't forget to drink your water as well! 😊❤

[morrigansmuses]

3 Golden Rules.

On Ethical disappointments. 

I was raised to be tolerant. To consider the views and opinions of others, to keep and open mind. I was a social outsider (homeschooled due to racism in the local school.) I vowed I wouldn’t ever exclude people for being different to me or having different values. I was desperate to make and keep friends. More than anything.

I was 15 in the late 1990s. Lonely as hell. I decided that I would befriend absolutely anyone who would have me. Essentially anyone who wouldn’t beat me up on sight for being foreign.

I decided that I had 3 and only 3 dealbreakers in terms of friendship.

RULE 1. They couldn’t be cruel to animals.

RULE 2. They coudn’t sexually abuse children.

RULE 3 They couldn’t be a card carrying Nazi.

If anyone in my life did any of those things I couldn’t associate with them anymore. But barring that I would try to accept them as individuals. 

Thats a pretty low bar right? I mean how could anyone fail to meet those insanely low standards?

See back then I didn’t know that shades of grey existed. I knew in theory that we were all imperfect beings, but I didn’t know what that meant yet in reality.

So I began to make friends. With normal kids. Actually probably nicer than average kids because they were sweet and sensitive enough to accept me for who I was when no one else would.

So the first hurdle I came across was that some of these people I was friends with enjoyed hunting. They would say for meat. I get that. Better than factory farming right? less cruel, less wasteful.

“You shouldn’t eat meat unless you’re willing to kill it yourself” They’d say virtuously.  

But then I saw them in action. Delighting in the act of killing in a way that I knew wasn’t healthy. Laughing at the kid goat’s head bursting in a shower of gore or the way an animal screamed upon being shot. Killing more than they needed… That’s an impulse I don’t believe humans should engender in themselves.

But it was for food. Right? So I overlooked it and silenced the voice in my heart.

One day my best friend shot a stray cat with his bb gun just for the laugh. It didn’t kill the cat or anything but the animal yelped and ran away. I was so upset and shocked that I burst into tears and it all came pouring out. Was he training himself to become a sociopath? I asked him.

He apologised. He never did anything like it again. He was very kind to animals, especially cats, ever since and doesn’t hunt them anymore for any reason.

I forgave.

That’s the first time I remember compromising a core value. It was like a tooth being pulled from my 15 year old head. 

I don’t regret it.

We’re still best friends. 

The second hurdle that started to crack my young heart was the undeniable fact that in the early 2000s almost every guy I knew in his early 20s had a girlfriend between that ages of 12 and 15. NEVER OLDER. I can’t stress this enough. They would vomit in disgust at the thought of a crone of 18 or 19. They were also VERY vocal about their desire and right to have sex with children after a few drinks. By the time I was 20 I knew I had aged out of the 20s dating pool. I wasn’t attracted to older men. 

No matter. I’m asexual and prefer platonic relationships anyway.

To this day I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a man. Because once I realised that Rule 2 wasn’t one any of them could keep, the trust was broken.

It wasn’t only men either. My closest girlfriend was a 26 year old substitute teacher who fucked one of her 15 year old students on a drunk night out once…

So they both had fun and boys that age are up for anything right? I mean. He probably still boasts about it today…

Right?

Plus… She was all I had. Like the only one I had at the time. I was so scared of losing her.

I turned a blind eye and ear. I tolerated. I didn’t have to approve of their teenage girlfriends did I? After all there were so many of them that if I cut them out of my life I’d have no friends ever again. Because the whole of society looked like them…

Thats the truth.

People in my extended family have dated 17 or 18 year old girls and encouraged them to drop out of school to have their children. People I love have done that.

I once knew a handsome, intelligent and charming man. He was dating a family member for a few months. He often defended the right of adult men to date teens. “Girls mature more quickly than boys.” He’d argue. Everyone would agree. After all hadn’t my great grandmother been 12 years old when she met my great grandfather and married him on her 16th birthday (with parental permission)? He was in his 20s. Just a boy himself surely? “We all know what children boys in their 20s are right?” Said my Mother… Whom I love very much.

Excuses were made.

Years later I discovered the the handsome, intelligent and charming man had been raping a 6 year old the entire time we’d known him. He is still wanted by the police today.

My father tells that when he was a boy of 18 back in the 70s he had kicked an older German man, a respected family friend, out of his car because the man had asked him to pull over, he had something important to tell him. When he did so, the man said that the Holocaust was a myth. An exaggeration, a Zionist hoax.

My Father was dating my mother at the time. She’s Jewish. So is his uncle, a Holocaust survivor.

He yelled at the man not to talk shit and made him walk home.

I am not my father.

The first time a Holocaust denier (a respected local businessman) voiced their opinion to me I froze. Then laughed. Surely he must be kidding... I argued briefly before realising that he’d made up his mind.

My well meaning people said I’d made a mistake. It was my job, they said, to change his mind. To educate him. Otherwise how would he learn?

I didn’t speak to him again but I still nod at him in the street because he employs a few of my friends and I wouldn’t want to make things awkward for them.

And also I don’t want him to yell at me. 

I have worked with Holocaust survivors and have survivors in my immediate family and I still nod in the street at a Holocaust Denier because we are raised to be polite aren’t we? Let’s not make a scene. 

We’re mature adults.

Aren’t we?

People are starting to turn weirder than they used to be. Politically.

My Leftist friends are in a secret facebook group... Strenuously defending China’s Uyghur genocide because Communism can do no wrong… And at the same time saying all the Israelis need to be killed for what they’ve done to the Palestinians. One suggests a biological weapon tailored to Jews.

My Centrist friends are suggesting we “Hang up democracy for a while” in order to combat global warming and welcome a global police state and stop “kicking off” about our rights all the time. “Maybe we need a jackboot up the arse” one of them says.

And the ones that aren’t on the Left?

My facebook feed these days is getting awfully full of Rothschild memes.

“We own every bank in the world and funded both sides of every war since Waterloo.” They say, next to a grinning caricature of Jacob de Rothschild. Reminiscent of a Nazi cartoon of a “Rat Jew.”

Even a hedge fund billionaire prick doesn’t deserve that, does he?

I don’t comment. What’s the point? They’ve watched all the youtube and don’t read history books on principal.

My Brother is getting into Qanon. So is my Sister in Law.

She follows the medical teachings of a man who thinks the Jews invented Chemotherapy to kill the Germans after the war. Apparently he is becoming more and more popular.

Eccentrics.

Thats all.

I’m half Jewish. Like My Brother.

One of the Survivors I know said that 3 weeks after the Nazi propaganda came into the school he attended, he was in Bergen Belsen and half his family was dead.

His neighbour was jealous because his father had 2 more cows than he did.

I hear Marine Le Pen is neck and neck with Macron to win France.

A good friend of mine said it's because by 2030 Muslims will outnumber white people in Europe. He won’t read the articles I send him. But he sure sends me a lot of YouTubes.

I ignore them because I don’t want to hate him. Maybe he ignores my articles for the same reason.

Hey 15 year old me…. You, skinny thing with the ethics, the braces and black eyeliner…

Those compromises I made were made out of love... And also fear. 

Please stop looking at me like that little girl.

“It’s true” writes my friend. They’re trying to breed us out. It’s all an elite Zionist plot.”

I close Whatsapp.

Here I go again I guess…

[kouei116]

Jakou no Lyla - Trap of musk: European night

Come, look at me. In return, I'll show you the most wonderful dream.

Well, I'm supposed to study for an exam, I thought I'll only procrastinate & play for a litttle bit, but... Welcome to the newest hell I'm currently stuck in - Jakou no Lyla (人´ω｀*)♡

It is originally a 3 part PC otome game but has been ported to the Switch. This game is one out of 3 games from triAngle project, so... there is a Spy Ending where MC will be with both guys ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Longer details under cut. 

Part 1 European Night - Vince Lugan (seiyuu Taniyama Kishou, e.g. Amnesia Memories Ikki) on the left hand side of the above photo - Rolan Crydelle (seiyuu Tachibana Shinnosuke e.g. MidCin Louis) on the right hand side of the above photo, my 2nd fav

Part 2 Asian Night - Korei Rin (seiyuu Okitsu Kazuyuki, e.g. Brothers Conflict Masaomi) the white hair guy sniffing MC's shoulder in 1st photo, my fav :3 - Kirei Rin (seiyuu Sato Takuya) the black hair guy at top right corner in the 1st photo

Part 3 Arabian Night - Lizaru Shanasa (seiyuu Morikawa Toshiyuki, e.g. DL Carla) the tan-skin guy with a whip in 1st photo - Jemiru (seiyuu Murase Ayumu) the guy with upside-down net bra(?lol) over his eyes in 1st photo 

The popular ranking (voted in Oct 2019) result is Lizaru (1), Jemiru (2), Kirei (3), Korei (4), Vince (5), Rolan (6). 

Vince: ... I want you

MC uses her special tattoo to seduce Vince, it is working... kinda. But Vince is a tough cookie, he realizes something isn't right with himself, grasps his short sword and squeezes his right hand on the sharp blade in front of the  speechless MC. He wants the pain to pull him away from the desire for MC.

V: Come in... Hey, turn this way. Look at me, Y...

During the Conference break, V saw MC talking with Rolan on the way to the market. He got very grumpy aweee. At the market, R fell down, MC helped R get up and her clothes got muddy too. When she returns to the palace, grumpy Vince saw her muddy clothes and told her to take a bath with him. He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away, poor V :’(

Y: Rolan-sama, please sto..

The special tattoo doesn't last long so the salon master comes to the palace to help her refresh. I thought she only has one on her chest, but apparently there is one on her back too :/ She has to keep it uncovered for 2 hours to dry. R came by and accidentally was affected by the tattoo. He started touching and kissing her back. She knows she has to push him away but she doesn't want to because she already knows abt his tragic past. She’s afraid pushing him will hurt his feeling (I'll explain his past in his route summary). She tried very hard to grab the veil, cover her tattoo and R turned back to normal, frantically apologized to her. 

R: You don't need to think about anything. Surrender everything to me...

MC (name is Shirien) is a dancer at show salon Kamal. Her parents were killed, the village was destroyed. The salon master took care of her and her best friend Aisha so she wants to do everything to repay him. The master also helped another kid (who arrived heavily injured) named Jermiru and asked MC to look after J as his older sister. MC and J works as secret spies for the master. MC has a special henna tattoo (made from teromeana mixed with medicine herbs) that can seduce men to the point they lose all reasoning. Then she uses a sleeping needle on them to make them sleep & dream that they are ichaicha-ing with her but in reality, she tries to find materials/info in their rooms for her spy mission. In addition, she collects blood of young healthy ‘excited' men to help research a cure for the salon master's sickness. The master also prohibits her to kiss the men targets because it can sway her heart (hence she pushed Vince away in the bath when he tried to kiss her). 

In part 1 European night, her clients are Theo (Vince's best friend) and Rolan Crydelle. Her mission is to seduce Vince to find out the whereabout of Pamela - Rolan’s younger sister - who they think was kidnapped by Vince when V destroyed the Crydelle kingdom. Theo will pretend to lose the drinking game and gives MC to V as a winning trophy.

V is a tough cookie to crack though, he pays 100% attention on his country/work, doesn't want to waste any time with women. In his country Lugan, women are not allowed to speak unless they are given permission. This is because in their history, a king lost part of the territory bc he spent too much time on women. That territory becomes the Crydelle kingdom. In contrast, Crydelle is led/dominated by women, while men only stays inside the house and cannot go out unless given permission by women. Rolan is a shy and naive because he is indoors all his life, he cares deeply about his younger sister Pamela, he carries a doll that looks exactly like her.

I only know a little bit about V from the common route and his appearance in Rolan's route, but he isn't as cruel as the rumour says. The more time MC spends with him for her spy mission, she realizes he (and his touch on her) are gentle and kind. Everything he does is for the benefit of his country. He did destroy the Crydelle kingdom, killed the royal family (except Rolan who was living in a secret room) so other princes at the Conference sneer at Vince during the policy discussion. Personally, I think the choices Vince suggests are actually effective and to the point, not wasting time trying to be merciful. In Rolan's good end, he even helps Rolan save MC. He gives me the IkeSen Nobunaga and MLQC Victor's vibes. 

The last Rolan photo above the cut is after the confrontation with Eleanor (who looks exactly like his sister Pamela but said she is not Pamela), R is very sad and ran to the old harem area to be alone. MC chased after him and tried to comfort him. He hugged her and started kissing near her chest, offered to make her feel good and begged her to not leave him (poor bb ;u;) MC stopped him, tried to calm him down asking him to tell her everything. In short, due to his past, R always wants to keep people happy, he thinks pleasing people is the only thing he can do to make his life has some values, the only way to keep people staying with him. MC told him none of these are true. Even after hearing his past, MC didn't look down on/feel disgusted abt him, and told him from now on, he will learn many other ways to make people happy. This makes him very happy, he asked to hug her for a bit longer ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡

---

Tbh, when I first looked at the suitors, I thought I'd go with Vince, but oughhh Rolan stole my heart during the common route. I guess not likely many people will like Rolan (he actually ranks 6th out of 6 suitors, my poor bb ;u;). It’s okay, I luv Rolan. I love his character growth throughout the route, desperately trying to grow stronger to protect MC. And his yandere doll-carrying creepy vibe. His 2nd bad end broke my heart badly ~ like CxM Shiraishi's bad end 4 level of heartbreak（ｉДｉ）I will write his route summary after I (hopefully) pass my exam.

I enjoy this game much more than I expected: kisses sound yayyy (not DL’s level of kissing & blood sucking but enough to burn my ears huehue), nice arts and BGM (melancholy music to stab on my heart even more while reading bad ends, nice!). I prefer the bad ends, they are more haunting and memorable to me; good ends everything get solved quite easily, but overall the story is fine so far. I get completely sucked into this game and finished all 6 ends for Rolan and Korei in 4 days (what is sleep, what is exam :3) Normally I only play the routes of the guys I’m interested in then move on to next game, unless I want to collect PS Vita trophies and autoplay. But I have high hope that since this game can surprisingly change my favourite from Rolan to Korei (still very close, I luv both of them lotsss) from the route story, I should read everybody’s routes properly and see who my favourite are in the end. My 2020 otome game year is off to a wonderful start already ahhh~ (*´╰╯`๓)♬

[beecherdrysdale]

Hi bbs, we are back for another part of greece:) also if Quinner and Jamie could come real quick, I need cuddlessss

Brigid I’ve been having constant baby fever after our convos so thank you :) like I just want all of that to happen lol.

Kesh- thank you for your your responses I don’t have much to add, but I loved all of it ! Also yes a red sundress would look gorgeous on you:).

Adding onto some thoughts:

- yes yes yes to the new chains. That photo of Quinner shirtless is on my mind constantly and this will be the look in Greece lol, and now we know that he does have a chain that he wears. It’s a silver chain for me, wbu?.

- beanie stealing will ofc happen. Like softest look ever esp with Jamie.

Now adding onto more thoughts hehe:

-yes to all of these soft moments. Like freckle tracing is just so cuteeeee. and ofc play w his hair cuz it is amazing. I ofc am honorary photo taker of Brigids cute moments with Jamie so lots of photos will be provided.

-hmmmm what if I want too..... like Jamie is down to makeout anywhere lol.

- hehe I’m still laughing, Jamie paying cozzy to sit with you. Hehe cozzy and devon are just vv chill and no action will be happening with them. Just a very quiet flight for those two. Kesh and Kirby are just not available to deal with us yet lol.

- hehe yes dyl better buy you food after the flight bc he’s heavyyyyyy. like I said before Jamie just gives ofc the biggest makeout vibes so ofc you gotta do it on the plane. hehe you gotta make sure that dyl, me, Quinner and Ryan are all occupied so we don’t see that. If dyl does see he’d be like no no no I can’t handle this right now. ‘Ummm Brigid maybe we shouldn’t bother bowen’ so Jamie keeps you calm. Which I love bc it’s so cute how you two help each other.

-hehe why do I see Peyton accidentally hitting dyl in the head while trying to give you a snack and we all quietly laugh bc Dylan’s still passed out and that it was a pretty hard throw.

-hehe yes. Like how is that possible to drink that much coffee and still sleep. Like he passes out 5 mins after take off. Okkk can I just say that I love rope bracelets so Quinner wearing one is just necessary. awww Brigid this made me melt, him pretending to sleep bc he’s enjoying it sm 🥺. hehe yes Quinner saved you with this one brigid bc I fidget a lottttt. ‘Lexi I swear if you kick my chair one more time’ ‘sorry brigid I’ll do something’ and I’m like what does that mean?.

I think we all want to see me slap Ryan awake. And he’s wake up so startled hehe. Yessss clear hair, pretty hair = happy life lol.

First night in Greece:

- I see you brigid, going after but we both know you two are loudddddd hehe. Ok so I see Ryan starting the tag and him tagging Braden and then Braden tags me and we all just start running around. All of us are looking for you and Jamie but we notice that we can’t find you until we notice Jamie’s shirt on the floor. So we all just run away ‘here we go again guys’ ‘hey Peyton I dare you to walk in’ absolutely not does it look like I wanna see that’ ‘guys let’s just give them so privacy’.

- aw a slumber party would just be so fun. ‘I’m sorry what’s the point of hydrating your face lexi?’ ‘ what does that even mean. Wait I’m sorry do you not use moisturizer Ryan?’ all of us just watching movies and bonding. Also pillow fightttttt! It would become very intense.

- ok we must have a girls day in Greece. and yes we have moneyyyyyyy. ‘Wait has anybody seen Brigid?’ ‘Hmm no I haven’t’ and they all just start looking for us and we come back and are like seriously you guys?.

-everybody looks so hot in water so moments will be happening. ya Ryan try us.

Next day:

- Brigid I’m with you here I’m like constantly hungry lol. So we’d just eat a mountain of food. Ooo yess we need some energy after our eventful nights😏.

- ok cliff diving is so fun. hehe Jamie looking terrified but you just grab him and jump. the hype up would involve a lot of slapping imao. haha ok if you’re not marco the entire time. I think I’ll go w dyl bc I wanna bond with him lol. The boys need your help bc swimming is hard. And then Jamie can piggy back you out of the water. And cuddle with you on the beach.

- awww I love this, holding hands while scuba diving. hehe yes I wow you all with my not forgotten guitar skills. ‘Please dyl can I try’ ‘no I’m scared you’re gonna drop my guitar in the water’ ‘I promise I won’t’. Lol this was random. actually a song i know how to play on guitar is Our last summer from mamma mia so we can all sing that :). I love cuddling our bbs on the boat.

- awww I love Jamie finding your wallpaper and him asking that in the most soft voice ever 🥺. And ofc some kisses will be exchanged. vv cute moment all together.

- we’d have the most chaotic moments at night while we are tipsy lol. Like some would try to race up the stairs and fall. Some dare each other to jump over stuff.

-so after dinner we just encounter a live band and see some people dancing and it’s pretty out with lights everywhere. ‘Hey bb wanna dance with me?’ And ofc you agree so you two take off to dance. Aww you tucking you me face into his chest🥺 and he just tightens his grip on your waist. Kesh and Kirby are #couplegoals they are the best dancers out there. hehe ofc Quinner is slow, but then he realizes that he wants to dance like that as well so he asks me to dance and we have a cute dance as well.

Next dayyy:

Hehe yes me and Ryan falling I feel like would be vv funny. It’s just all very sudden. imao you’re a hockey player it’s in your job description.

The chirps that would be happening ‘ hey brigid seems like you had an eventful night and he looks at your small hickey’ ‘ I saw a girl come out of your room this morning Cole. What are you doing trying to go through every girl in Mykonos by the time we leave’

‘I think by the time we leave there won’t be any more girls left.’ -Lexi.

Haha I would (no offence) totally abandon you to go play tennis with a pro. aww thank you for taking the photos. Lol everybody would just be confused on where I went for the afternoon.

Next day: I honestly think that for our final days of Greece we should just all be on the beach lol bc that is mostly what you can do there. Like all of us just bonding, playing volleyball, riding on jet skis, tanning, getting tipsy lol.

So now it’s travel day so we all head to the airport, chaotic as usual. And we are ready to board our flight to the beautiful ITALY 🇮🇹.

Get ready.

Sorry if this was kinda bad.

Enjoyyyyy

‘uhehe ok i’m finally responding, welcome to the last part of greece:) once again a longgggg post

okkk so before we start discussing the trip a couple random things:

yesss ik this was from a couple days ago when lexi and i both really needed cuddles but i’m always down for jamie cuddles, so quinner and jamie better come cuddle us real quick (also kirby better come for kesh)

haha sameeee i’m having such bb fever, i just want a bb jamie🥺

yes kesh ty for your responses i love them :) also you would look so cute in a red sundress

okkk adding on to random thoughts:

yesssss to chains, like that’s so hot. i love the quinner pic with the chain that we found lol. haha same silver chains>>>gold chains

awwww yes i love beanie stealing, it just seems so soft to me that you want to wear their clothes bc it reminds you of them🥺 and also bc it’s comfy lol

adding on to more thoughts lol:

awww yes freckle tracing is so soft, i love it🥰 and i just want to play with his hair, which is somehow amazing even tho he probably uses a 3-in-1. tyyy lexi for being our photo taker lol, i need you to send me the pics so i can put them as my wallpaper

lmaooo why do you feel the need to drag me and jamie into our discussion about you and quinner? it’s ok tho, this is true jamie and i are down to make out anywhere lol. we’ll find somewhere semi-private tho lol bc it’s kind of weird if you’re just making out in the middle of the airport

lmaooo i love that jamie’s literally paying $50 just to sit with me, like that’s kind of a lot of money lol. but then devon and cozzy are just chilling on the flight and just sleeping for most of it so their row is vv quiet. and kesh and kirby are just not at all ready to deal with our chaos this early in the morning lol

yes dylan you better buy me food, i’m hungry af and you’re heavy so i deserve it. hehe yes jamie and i have a little makeout sesh while dyl is asleep bc we know dyl would freak out if he saw lmao. but at this point idc if you and ryan see bc you’ll find a way to chirp us no matter what lmao. ‘ummm brigid let’s let bo sleep’ so he has to grab my hand or put his hand on my leg to stop my fidgeting🥺

lmaoooo dyl getting hit in the head with one of the snacks that was meant for me bc apparently peyton can’t aim. but somehow dyl doesn’t wake up lol

okkk yes quinner is somehow asleep 5 minutes after the plane takes off so lexi starts playing with his hair and his rope bracelet. and then quinner pretends he’s still asleep bc it feels good🥺 but thankfully he wakes up to stop you from fidgeting bc or else i’d end up punching you lmao

hehe yes ryan might get annoyed by you slapping him but it’s fine. and we’ll all be living our best life in greece lol

first nightttttt:

lmao noooo jamie and i are not that loud. hehe yep you guys just start a game of tag and just start sprinting around the hotel. hehe you come to my and jamie’s room looking to tag one of us and then you see jamie’s shirt on the floor and it’s just ‘hey peyton i dare you to go in and tag one of them’ ‘absolutely fucking not i don’t want to say that’ and then kesh is like ‘all right, let’s just give them privacy’ lmaooo

yessss a slumber party!! ‘what’s hydrating your face? like what does that even mean?’ ‘ummm do you not use moisturizer ryan? how is your face not completely dry?’ hehe yes we would watch a bunch of movies and stuff, but then we would have an epic pillow fight and i would be beating everyone up lmao

hehe yessss girls day in greece! and we have money so we can buy whatever we want

lmaoooo everyone looking for jamie and i and peyton finds us ‘ahhhh my eyes!!’ ‘seriously guys? again?’ hehe we would all be having hot water moments tho

next day:

haha we eat like the entire breakfast buffet at the hotel bc there are so many of us and everyone else at the restaurant is just like where’d the food go? hehe we need it for sustenance tho to make up for all the calories we burned😏

hehe yeah cliff diving is so fun, i have to pull jamie in with me before he backs out bc he’s scared lol. lmaoooo you and ryan and quinner have the best hype up before you jump. and then once everyone’s in we’re playing marco polo and i’m just destroying bc im good at swimming lol. haha then we have to send you and dyl to find the way back up while i help the boys swim lol. awww yes i love jamie piggybacking me out of the water and then cuddling with me on the beach🥰

awwww yes hand holding while scuba diving is the cutest. and then while we’re on the boat you can resuscitate your guitar skills for us ‘pleaseeee dyl i want to try’ ‘no you’re gonna drop it in’ ‘nooo i promise i won’t, just let me try please?’ so then he does and you wow us with your skills and we all sing along. and we’re just cuddling our bbs on the boat🥺

yesssss omg jamie just going to do something on my phone and then he sees i change my wallpaper and in the softest voice ‘i’m your wallpaper?’🥺🥰 and i’m like ‘yeah is that ok?’ and he’s just like ‘ofc’ and then soft kisses

lmaoooo yes we’re the most chaotic people ever when we’re tipsy. lol we’re all racing each other and daring each other to do stuff 

awwww yes we see a live band so jamie asks me to dance ‘hey bb, come dance with me?’ in the softest voice, and ofc i say yes and i tuck my face in his chest while we dance🥺 and he just pulls me closer. and then kirby and kesh are somehow just amazing at dancing and perfectly in sync bc they’re like the perfect couple sooo. and quinner is just a bit slow on the uptake, but then he eventually asks you to dance and then you guys just have a cute slow dance and you’re playing with the little baby hairs at the back of his head if you know what i’m talking about

next dayyyyyyy:

lmaooo you and ryan falling down the stairs would be so funny, like one minute you’re walking and the next you’re just tumbling down the stairs. ‘you’re a hockey player it’s in your job description’ love that lol

lol the chirps that are happening ‘hey brigid and jamie looks like you had an eventful night’ ‘shut uppp cole, i saw another girl coming out of your room this morning? what, are you trying to get through every girl in mykonos before we leave?’ lexi: ‘i think by the time we leave there aren’t gonna be any girls left’ 

hehe yes lexi dips to go play tennis with the pros, but kesh and i come find you and we take photos for you

rest of the days:

we’re on the beach alllll the time, doing whatever, like volleyball, jet skis, tanning, just swimming, etc. and ofc getting tipsy

hehe our travel day is soooo chaotic again, but we somehow get our flight on time to go to italy

overall, i love all of this, it was amazing

[tough-bit-of-fluff]

A Gil In The Hand Pt. 2 - A Journal of a Thousand Malms

((Read Part 1 of “A Gil In The Hand” Here))

Journal Entry 1: Hello! My name is Aly as far as you know, and this is my journal! I have asked other people (Not to name names but let’s call them Smargent and Quicktor) to keep a record of the Good Deeds They Have Performed and How That Made Them Feel. My good deeds are obviously too numerous to list, so instead, I’ll write about whatever comes into my mind, which you will quickly discover is A LOT. Also I will chronicle my journey of becoming an even more intrepid adventurer, which today has included 1) waking up (always a good start), 2) making pancakes, 3) making up a song about making pancakes, and 4) EATING DELICIOUS PANCAKES (as foretold in the newly-classic song, “I’m About To Eat Some Pancakes”). What it is ABOUT to include is Aetherial Manipulation for Targeted Relocation of Diminutive Material Objects, or my more fun title of Coinaportation! 

Here’s The Backstory Part For Inquiring Readers: At a tavern one night I was trying to do a coin trick, which did not work as such BUT I accidentally turned it into a way better one where the coin like...shimmered away, and then back, plop! Into a random guy’s drink. He had no idea where it came from. Gil from the GODS! I blessed that man’s life that night, basically. Anyway Argent saw it and was like “okay so that’s weird but maybe see if you can do it on purpose I would think you are cooler than I already do which is a whole bunch and it would be way useful but not for crimes or tricks or anything, good vibes only bb” (I may be paraphrasing a little bit) and he told me to practice shimmering a coin into Victor’s pocket, so that is what I will do! I will be a prize pupil and leave an apple on his desk which will be surprising to him no doubt because he never showed me his desk. Doubly so if he didn’t have a desk before! But is it not said, that if a teacher has not a desk, it would be necessary to create one? ((A/N: No one has ever said such a thing. Until now.))

Anyway, I’m off to do the thing. Wish me luck! And pancakes!

Journal Entry 2: I found more pancakes. Which *is* pretty lucky, come to think of it. Anyway, NOW to practice Coinaportation!

Journal Entry 3) I did not inform Victor of the topic of today’s experiment, and now he thinks I’m throwing gil at him. ….oops? Accidents happen…?

Journal Entry 4) Victor said some mean and not-nice things and I got really fluffed up about it and then I DID throw gil at him. Oops. Accidents happen.

Journal Entry 5!) We made up and now Victor is helping me as best he can. Like not getting grumpy at me for teleporting a coin into his drink.

Journal Entry 9: It’s in there again.

Journal Entry 10) Sorry Victorrr!

Journal Entry 12) Do I ONLY have the ability to teleport coins into drinks? That is a very specific and messy power!

Journal Entry 14) Apparently my powers also include teleporting coins into the cat’s food. Kitty, nooo!

Journal Entry Fifteen) I needed to clear my head and regain my focus so I am teleporting myself to various picturesque locations. It’s going fine! Easy-peasy. I’m great at transporting *myself*. I enjoyed the waterwheels of Gridania, the springs of Southern Thanalan, the wine of Wineport. (I was thirsty!) 

I ported into a sewer tunnel (ew!) with a too-small drain to find a lady’s lost wedding ring, and onto a roof (woo!) to rescue a little boy’s cat. I did not attempt to transport one or more gil pieces anywhere near Felone, the Purry. (That’s what the cat was named and honestly I’m jealous.) It’s important to learn from one’s mistakes.

(Journal Entry 16) I teleported straight back to Victor’s side. I could find his specific aetheric signature from a hundred malms away, and I did! There are pros and cons to this. 

Pros: My confidence is way restored! I’m great at seeing magic, finding magic, aetherial travel and manipulation in ways that are not always immediately obvious but I’m figuring them out. However long it takes, I will figure out this coin trick, too. And a whole lot more along the way, I bet.

Con: Victor was in the bathtub when I ‘ported to him, so then, abruptly, I was, too. Splash! Victor takes very lukewarm-to-cool baths apparently or at least sits there spacing out long enough that they get cold so it wasn’t even warm and relaxing. Just kinda wet, though at least my shoes got cleaned? He’s just a little guy though, what if he catches his death of cold!? When I asked him, he said, and I quote, “Oh, yes. That is the most troubling aspect of this bath.” 

He also said, “...what smells like sewer?”

Sorry, Victor, I don’t have time to solve your thought-provoking riddles right now - I’ve got magic to master!

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

-

11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

-

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

-

95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

[stop-weighting-for-change]

UPDATE 3

Ok so in general last week was a little bit off for me. last tuesday one of the kittens were fostering got really unstable and long story short apparently suffered some sort of trauma bc he lost function of his back legs for like 30 hours and the vet after doing extensive tests and xrays found no damage or fractures (thank goodness!!!) and the bb kitten is back to normal, slowly regaining strength last week and being as rambunctious as ever now :) my heart is full

However, bc i was stressed, i ate what i needed to eat and when i needed to eat and as a result i didn’t gain or lose. which is honestly a MIRACLE bc my sister also came and visited from LA and brought a Porto’s red velvet cake w her and it was evil but also sooooo amazingly decadent but sooooo bad for me. Luckily there was 5 of us so i didnt have too much cake and i never EVER binged which was a miracle, instead i just ate kinda crappy :/

But like i said, i neither gained nor loss which i am seeing as a win. ive found a newer weightloss journey youtuber name bea caruso and i love her channel. she is so endearing, motivational, gracious and helpful. anyways she ~just~ posted a video of a week of her maintaining her weight and how you NEED to switch up your calorie intake and types of foods if your looking to make longterm, sustained weightloss in a big way (meaning lbs lost ovaaa timeeee). I think it was important to switch things up a lil bit bc even tho i am in now way pro anything nor am i trying to do any drastic limiting, i know i have been. im really bad when it comes to dieting bc i always restrict types of foods and amounts when i need to get it into my brain that i can have 2 bananas and it wont really be different than having 1. i want weightloss to be fast but then i always feel over hungry/restricted and binge (this is how ive always been in the past, like im know so many others have/do struggle with) and even tho ive YET to binge since i started last month, i know i could be farther along if i did an even better job not making my stomach and taste buds feel like its being even a little deprived.

P.S. I NEED TO DRINK MORE WATER. anyone know roughly how much it would cost to hire terry crews or jason mamoa to barge into my house roughly 40 times a day and yell at me to drink water?? asking for a friend :)

P.P.S. Covid-19 is long from over so i hope each and every person reading this is doing well and so is their families. i get that this is difficult on so many for so many reasons (reasons im sure im even blissfully unaware of for some) but please wash your hands, social distance, WEAR A MASK and stay home unless you absolutely cant <3

[holdyourfire]

taylir gar tracyn

hold your Fire (Mando’a)

Chapter 1  Chapter 4

***

Chapter 5 - Flame

No warnings for this chapter.

2.2k words

      ***

      Poe was guiding the Ember into Naboo’s atmosphere when a loud thud sounded behind, startling him. 

      He whirled around in his chair to see Deccol grinning and he scowled heavily.

       “Really!?”

      “I told you, I like startling people.”

      “Not while I’m piloting, thanks!”

      She slumped into the chair next to him, still smiling to herself.

      “Where should we land? Somewhere outside the city, right?”

      “Um, no,” she began, frowning slightly. “We should set down in the city. In a landing bay. This ship won’t draw many eyes, so a city bay would be more convenient.”

      “Yes, but is it safer?”

      “It’ll be fine. I know how to deal with cities. If we land on the outskirts, it’ll look as if we don’t want to be noticed.”

      “And… we don’t want to be noticed,” he countered, knowing he was aggravating her. “So where’s the harm?”

      She turned her chair to face him, obviously getting bothered. 

      “But we don’t want them to know that do we? The best way to hide is to blend in. A city landing bay will do that.”

      Poe smirked and Deccol just gave him a sharp look.

      “You were doing that on purpose. Arguing just to argue. Just to be annoying.”

      She shook her head as he continued to grin. 

       “This is going to be a long mission,” came a sigh.

       ***

       Theed was beautiful. 

      Deccol and Poe leaned into the viewports to see the city below as they flew over smoothly. 

      Cream-coloured stone buildings, with tall pillars and arches, topped with blue domes. The warm glow from the street-lights turned the roads and paths gold. The setting sun had cast the west-facing sides of the buildings into pink and red and the rest into darkness. Arched bridges littered Theed’s winding rivers.

      In the distance, rolling plains of grass surrounded the city.

       “It really is beautiful.”

       Deccol just hummed in reply, still absorbed in the view. 

      A beeping noise sounded from the dashboard.

      “We’re being hailed by city landing services,” said Poe shifting to press the flashing button.

      “Hailing the Ghtroc Seven-Twenty, please proceed to Landing Dock E, Pad 3. The south side of the city.”

      “Pad E3, copy that.”

        The landing was swift and hardly a jolt was felt as Poe directed the Ember down. 

      Deccol disappeared to her cabin to change and Poe sauntered down the freshly lowered ramp to meet the dock officer waiting below, BB-8 at his heels.

       Naboo’s cool air was a sharp contrast to D’Qar’s humid climate and he sucked in a breath, filling his lungs, enjoying the sight of the river on the other side of the landing pad.  

       The smartly uniformed dock-officer was approaching.

      “Hi there!” 

      “Hello, sir,” she replied, “may I have your ship’s manifest please?”

      “Of course. BeeBee?”

      BB-8 whirred and extended the Ember’s projector chip in his claw.

      “Any other crew or passengers?” the officer asked, taking the chip and slotting into her datapad to read.

      “Just my co-pilot.”

       Though Deccol wasn't really his co-pilot.

       Poe waited for a few seconds, until the officer looked up with a polite smile, tugging the chip out from her datapad to hand back to BB-8.

      “You’re all good to proceed. Payment for the use of the landing pad can be organised up in that building there,” she said pointing towards a building across the river. “Enjoy your time here.”

      “Thank you.”

       “Oh, one last thing,” the officer called just as he was turning away. “Blasters are not permitted in public,” she said, pointing to his empty holster.

      “Oh, alright. I’ll keep that in mind.”

        Poe strolled back to the ramp, only to find Deccol coming down. She had changed, removing all her armour and was just wearing a simple black shirt on black pants and a dark grey scarf tied around her neck. Her blaster was tucked into her holster at her hip.

       “All fine?” she asked peering at the departing dock officer.

      “Yep. No blasters allowed in public though.” He gestured at her gun. “Ok, so what's the plan then?”

      She jerked her head behind her. 

      “We should talk inside.”

       They ended up outside the kitchen to discuss, Poe leaning back against his cabin door and Deccol standing in front of hers.

       He got the feeling she always stood so straight because everyone was taller than her.

      He had to hold back an amused smile at the thought.

       “Tonight, we should just go out and find out what we can about this Luc Shinn guy. If we even can. If we get enough information, tomorrow the mission can be completed and we can be out of here.”

      Poe frowned.

      “Don’t you want to spend more than just a day here? I mean, it’s so nice. We’ll also have extra time to plan.”

      “This is an assignment, not a holiday, Dameron,” she said, exasperated. “We need to do these tasks as quickly as we can.”

      He sighed.

      “Yeah, yeah, fine. It just seems like a nice place.”

      “Hmm. It does seem nice,” she admitted, nodding. “So, ready to head out? I’ll just go remove my holster.”

      “Same, one sec.”

      He turned, ducking into his room to quickly discard his holster and grab his commlink. 

      “Ok, let’s go.”

       ***

       About fifteen minutes later, Poe was leaning against a light pole on a street corner as he waited for Deccol. BB-8, the poor thing, had been left behind on the Ember. 

      Deccol was just across the street, talking with a couple of locals about where to find the best cantina in town.

      It was a known fact that if you want to know who people are and what’s happening in the area, a cantina was where to go. All information just seemed to flow through bars.

       He glanced down the street. Not many people about, the occasional loiterer or the groups of people who were out for a late evening stroll. 

      The sky was dark blue now, just a hint of an orange glow to the west. 

       “Hey!” 

      He turned at the call. 

      It was a man who had just come around the corner. He was swaying on his feet and he had a slight leer on his face as he stumbled towards Poe.

      He stiffened, suddenly uncomfortable as the man neared. He was just reaching out to roughly grab Poe’s arm as he backed away, when Deccol appeared next to him, seemingly out of nowhere. 

      She firmly stepped in between Poe and the drunk man, lightly shoving him away.

       “Is there a problem here?” she snarled as she squared her feet.

      The man scowled and backed off, mumbling incoherently as he stumbled away from them, down the street.

       “C’mon let's go. There’s a cantina down that path and-”

      “I can take care of myself y’know,” he snapped, annoyed at the pang of relief he’d felt when she’d intervened.

      “I never said you couldn’t. Now let’s go.”

      She turned, walking toward the path she’d pointed out. 

      Poe followed, pursing his lips.

             The cantina was bustling with people. One long and crowded serving counter expanded across the back wall with human and droids serving the various people their drinks. 

      Dialects from all across the galaxy could be heard, in shouts and whispers alike. The lighting was dim, and the air was hot and muggy due to the crowd.

      “Seems like travellers and locals come here regularly,” Poe muttered, leaning down into Deccol’s ear.

      “Good for us. We’ll blend in,” she whispered back. “Drink?”

      “Obviously. I’ll get them. What’ll you have?”

      “Ask if they have tihaar. If not just get me one of whatever you have.”

       Tee-har? 

       “I don’t know what that is, but I’ll ask.”

      She nodded her thanks and he slipped through the mass of people to reach a gap at the countertop, raising a hand to catch the attention of a drink-droid.

       “Hello, sir, what will you be served today?”

      “One bottle of Elba beer and do you have a drink called tee-har?”

      “It appears we do,” the droid replied after a second of computing. “It is a Mandalorian beverage, if my memory banks are correct.”

       It clunked off to fetch the drinks and Poe turned his attention to the people in his surroundings.

       A trickle of music from a group of musicians in the far corner of the cantina accompanied by a low beat was encouraging some to dance sensually with drinks in hand. Two Twi’leks were getting very friendly against a wall and Poe couldn’t help smirking at the sight, watching for a second before a sharp noise drew his attention to the other side of the cantina. 

       An argument appeared to be taking place between a Keshian and a member of a species he didn't recognise. Increasing in volume with both almost shouting, until the Keshian received a slap, followed by the furious exit of the slapper. 

       Poe huffed a laugh, wondering what they did to get that. 

      The Keshian glared around the room furiously, as if daring anyone to say something and ended up locking eyes with a grinning Poe. 

      The smile was hastily wiped off his face as he turned back to the counter, trying to avoid any trouble.

       “Sir.” 

      The drink-droid had returned. 

      “Here are your drinks.”

      It handed over the familiar-looking bottle of Elba beer along with a small glass of a clear liquid.

      “Thanks,” he said, handing over credits.

       Holding the drinks, he turned on his heel peering through the crowd to search for his partner. 

       There she was. She was standing near the band, deep in conversation with two locals.

      Spotting him hovering a few paces away, she waved him over.

       “They had it,” he said, holding up her drink.

      She smiled, delighted. 

      “Thank you.”

      He took a sip of his and she took a large gulp of hers with a satisfied sigh, before introducing him to the men she’d been talking with.

       “This is my friend, Snap,” she said, gesturing to Poe. 

       Snap? Huh. 

       Poe nodded politely in greeting.  

      “And this is Jaeto and Enri,” she continued. “They’re brothers who tell me they used to work at a nearby plasma mine. However, they don’t anymore, as it’s been bought by a new owner who seemed to have also brought in his own workers.”

      Poe looked to the two brothers in surprise.

      “An entire mine was just bought? Must be wealthy,” he remarked sipping his beer.

      “Yeah. All of us workers were put out of our jobs,” said Enri. “Apparently this guy has influence in the Galactic Senate. Must’ve been able to pull some strings or something, because that sort of thing never usually happens on Naboo.”

      “Yeah, rumour has it he’s a big shot in the First Order,” Jaeto added in a low voice.

       Poe and Deccol exchanged a look. 

      “Oh? That’s not the best news. I always get uneasy when I hear about them,” supplied Poe, trying to ease into the conversation.

      The brothers nodded enthusiastically in agreement. 

      “They're a nasty piece of work that’s for sure,” muttered Jaeto.

      “This new mine owner, is he from Naboo?” 

      “He is, actually. From one of the wealthier families in Theed. House Shinn. Although I don’t know why we still call it a family. The parents are dead, it’s really just him now.”

       Poe struggled to keep his face neutral. 

      There he is. Time to hunt down a First Order plasma miner.

       “Is plasma mining the biggest industry on Naboo?”

      “It is, after all, the planet is pretty much made of the stuff. And it’s used all over the galaxy too, so it’s not just important for Naboo.”

      “What is it used for, most commonly?”

      “It can power weaponry and transport, mostly.”

       Both very important things for the First Order.

       Poe suddenly grabbed Deccol’s arm in an attempt to look urgent.

      “Oh, Maker! We said we’d meet Jess five minutes ago. She’ll be upset that we’re late!”

       Deccol caught on quickly.

      “Oh, kriff, you’re right!” She turned to Jaeto and Enri. “I’m so sorry, I forgot we had a place to be.”

      “Oh, no worries. It was nice to meet you,” said Jaeto, and Enri nodded in agreement.

      “You too, I hope the job search goes well for you,” said Poe as he and Deccol backed away.

      “Goodbye!”

      Deccol gulped the last mouthful of her drink before setting the glass down on an empty table they walked past. Poe elbowed her triumphantly, chuckling before swallowing more of his beer as they walked through the cantina’s doors. 

      She looked up at him with a smirk.

      “Done well,” he said.

      She nodded.

      “That was way quicker than I expected. Things like that usually take a long time. Now let’s go meet Jess.”

      He grinned.

      “Do you know the way back?”

      “Of course I do.”

        They walked by a river for a part of the way before turning down an alleyway. 

      Halfway through, Deccol stiffened.

       “We’re being followed,” she muttered out the side of her mouth.

      “You sure?”

      Two figures appeared on the path in front. 

       Deccol stopped moving, pulling Poe to an abrupt halt with a hand on his wrist. He glanced over his shoulder.

      Two behind them as well.

      He swallowed nervously. 

       Now was really not the time to get jumped.

       He slid a small knife out of his pocket, gripping it tightly in his right hand, the blade pointing downwards, opposite from his thumb.

      Deccol pulled out a vibro-blade from under her left sleeve and another from her right boot. Automatically they shifted, standing back-to-back.

       “What are you looking for?” Deccol called, voice level.

      “Oh, nothing in particular,” came a reply from a shadowed face. “Maybe some credits. Those vibro-knives look good. I have one just like them.”

      “You’re not getting anything without a fight,” Poe said, surprised with how calm he sounded.

      "Fine by us.”

      ***

E/N:

   Chapter 6 coming soon :)