#apologies to everyone who didnt expect to see something like this from me

[deathberi]

cuz it's 2023 year of the water rabbit something something

fan animation by LewdsSonk edited with permission ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა~• ♡

[star-girl69]

As much as I love overprotective Clarisse which believe me I DO😍😍 am I the only one who kinda wants to see a protective reader if something happens to Clarisse or even Ivy?!

I feel like Clarisse may just sit back and be Yh that’s my girl 🤭

Literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this

Also I love your writing so much it’s so goodddd I check my phone for any new posts all the time and scream when you do

TYSMMMMM BAE ILY!!!!!! been in a writing slump recently. someone else please write a mind bogglingly good clarisse fic to inspire me again. lord give me strength…

forget the fact this is 2 days late. thank y’all 🙏🙏

anyways officially adding danny to the perfect family bc I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so imagine this

clarisse is participating in some sort of contest

like

idk roman gladiators LMAOOOO

but basically it’s like a big tournament? and yk she’s destroying eating it up cooking, whatever you will

finally she gets to like the semi-finals and atp everyone kinda knows she has it in the bag

her opponents are scared

(trust an underground betting ring was formed. everyone who bet on clarisse is thanking the gods and everyone who didn’t is shaking in their boots)

clarisse is happy bc you and the twins (danny and ivy)

are sitting right in the front row cheering her on

and she got a wonderful good luck kiss from you

so not only is she happy and thinking about that but also she’s convinced that she’ll win just bc she got a kiss from you

so the fight starts, ivy is genuinely SCREECHING at the top of her lungs she’s so me she can’t be normal about anything ever

and you and danny are just regularly cheering for her 😭

eventually someone behind you tells ivy to shut up

YOU WHIP AROUND BC WTF???

harshest death glare in the universe. like even zeus would be a little scared.

ivy doesn’t even notice she’s chill

the other person quickly shuts the fuck up.

then you turn back to watch clarisse and the fights just starting, the other dude is scared and knows his ass barely stands a chance

she’s having fun pummeling him

ugh fight scenes are hard to write

so eventually she tosses his ass to the floor

“GO MOM GO GO GO BEAT HIS ASS MOM BEAT. HIS. ASS.”

“IVY STOP FUCKING SWEARING”

and this dude, who’s laid on the ground, who knows he’s cooked, decides the best option is to grab some dirt and throw it in clarisse’s face

and no one was prepared for this

like clarisse was standing over him with her spear at his throat, smile on her face, everyone knew he was done for- THEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY DIRTY AND DO THIS???

like everyone thought clarisse had it in the bag

the rules for this competition were that you’re not allowed to use anything but your person and/or pre-approved weapon(s)

NOT EVEN CLARISSE WAS EXPECTING IT

SO SHES DISTRACTED BY THE FREAKING DIRT IN HER FACE

SO WHEN THIS BITCH KICKS HER SHE GOES DOWN

DEAD SILENT!!!!!!!

EVERYONE GASPS!!!!!!!

whispers in the crowd… “oh bro is cooked…”

(sorry i’m obsessed w saying cooked rn)

and he is cooked

but by someone unexpected.

clarisse is wiping the dirt off of her face swallowing her shame she can’t believe she got distracted and let herself fall she should have saw it coming but suddenly she hears someone screaming

she opens her eyes and sees you menacingly walking towards this dude, who’s still on the ground and scrambling away

and what’s funny it you’re yelling at him like a mother would

the crowd is giggling…

“THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES. WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT MANNERS??? WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT DECENCY??? SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS SHAME SHAME SHAME”

clarisse is literally sitting there mouth dropped open when you grab his ear and he HOWLS

dragging him back towards clarisse, he’s kicking and screaming and literally CRYING

“HELP HELP HELP ME HELP SHE CANT SO THIS SHE CANT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG”

“YES THE FUCK I CAN YOU BROKE THE FUCKING RULES NOW APOLOGIZE YOU LAWLESS SWINE”

“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DIDNT”

one of the apollo kids who organized the event is looking around (kinda enjoying it) but mostly very scared

“technically you did break the rules… sorry pal…”

“PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME”

obviously, this is the hottest thing clarisse has ever seen in her life.

she’s sitting back on her palms, watching in utter amazement, trying not to bite her lip

someone loving clarisse… that gets her going

someone loving clarisse enough to PROTECT HER??? she’s about to explode. EXPLODE. she’s never needed you so bad in her life LMAOOOO 😭

and this bitch is STILL refusing to apologize

like damn it’s not that hard… it’s not like you have any pride left to speak of you just got dragged around by the ear 😭😭 bro you’re cooked just apologize and get out while you can

AND YOU’RE GETTING FED UP WITH IT TOO

“hey, dumbass, why don’t you look at the stands?”

you point, and everyone follows your finger.

ivy is a literal cartoonish whirl of her pink t-shirt and the white shorts with the little trees on them

danny is holding her back (with ease, might i add he’s strong as fuck 💪)

“i’ll let her out.”

“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING-”

“LET HER OUT”

he barely escapes that attack.

when you finally call ivy off of her attack, she stands next to clarisse, literally growls at the dude, before hugging clarisse

clarisse is still on the ground in utter shock.

she can’t keep her eyes away from you and ivy. she can’t get rid of the GLOWING feeling in her chest

is this… what it’s like… to be loved?

WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH BITCH NOW IM THE ONE CRYING NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭

danny eventually walks over and helps her up

then they all watch as you smile sweetly at this very traumatized dude and ask if he’s ready to apologize

“IMMSORRUOHGOEE IMSORHR ESEBIMS YORUUE”

(i’m sorry oh gods im sorry i’m sorry”

then you walk over to clarisse, rolling your eyes and mumbling about bad parenting, girl she pounces on you.

kisses you so hard in front of everyone

ivy and danny are hugging each other and shielding each other’s eyes, screaming, begging for you two to stop

“y/n” she breathes as she pulls away “you are… the most amazing mother, the most amazing girlfriend, and literally the love of my fucking life.”

literally twirling your hair “omg baeeeee you’re too sweet 🤭”

(y’all don’t end up leaving her cabin for a LONG time.)

after this clarisse definitely sort of realizes a whole new side of your relationship. seeing you publicly defend her like that, publicly care about her, love her, omg she is going crazy for you!!!

after this incident she definitely stops calling you her gf.

gives you a really pretty ring she got one of the hephaestus kids to make, starts calling you her wife

and nobody better have a problem w that lol or else they got two ares killing machines, one feral attack dog, and a literal mother who is not afraid to drag you by your ear.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[fhatbhabiee]

Cuz I Loved You | Part 3

DBF!Joel Miller x Reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: labor (nothing too descriptive), argument, mixed feelings, confessions, dad!joel, not beta'd, no physical description of reader

note: so idk if i wanna do a next part. i like the idea of an open ending- kinda leaving it up to y'all's imagination on how you want it to end, but if you guys would like a next part just let me know and i'll see what i can come up with- or if you just want drabbles based on this mini series shoot me some prompts in my inbox!

part 1 , part 2

You were sitting in the living room, going into full nesting mode and folding the loads of baby laundry you've been washing all day, when the doorbell went off. It threw you off guard- you weren't expecting anyone so who could it be?

You walked over and opened the door, only to feel your heart sink to the floor.

“Joel…”

His eyes went straight to your round belly, anger building up in his chest.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“You didnt want to start over, remember?”

“That's my child! I'm it's father, I had a fucking right!” he yelled

“Yeah the child you never wanted! The child that you said was a dealbreaker before he was even real!”

“You still should have told me!!” You stepped back from him when he yelled again. His face was slowly turning red, veins and muscles becoming noticeable in his neck. You'd never seen him this mad before.

He let out a sigh, calming himself down before he said anything else. You both stood there for a moment, staring at each other and not knowing where to go from here. The silence was broken by the sound of Joel's phone ringing. He took his phone out and saw it was Tommy calling- most likely something happened at work.

“I gotta get goin..” you gave him a small nod. He looked at you again, like he wanted to say something but he just stayed quiet and made his way back to the truck.

Later that night you laid in bed, finger hovering over Joel's contact in your phone. You felt guilty. You truly thought not telling him about the baby was the way to go, but after seeing him get upset guilt filled your mind.

“Fuck it…” you muttered before tapping in his contact. It rang a few times until he answered.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Just wanted to tell you that my moms throwing a baby shower this weekend at the house.”

“Do you want me there?” he asked.

“You don't have to come if you don't want to Joel, I was just letting you know.”

He let out a dry chuckle. “That your way of apologizing?”

“I wanna talk to you. Face to face.”

He let out a small sigh before responding. “I'll see you this weekend.”

— • —

There was blue everywhere- blue balloons, blue party streamers and a table piled high in the corner with gifts wrapped in blue gift wrap. Everyone was outside, chatting and enjoying themselves while you walked inside the house with your mom.

“Mom I think you went a little overboard…”

“Nonsense its my first grandbaby I had to.” she smiled, making you laugh. The back door slid open and closed, pulling your attention to who just walked in. His curls were slicked back, white button up tucked into black slacks and unbuttoned low enough to see his bare chest. Your heart fluttered at the sight of Joel. You couldn't tell if it was the pregnancy hormones or if it was the fact that he actually showed up.

“Hey.” he muttered giving you a small smile.

“Hey.” you smiled back. You looked over at your mom and gave her a nod. She gently squeezed your hand before walking back outside.

“You look beautiful.” Joel said, eyeing you up and down, admiring the blue sundress you had on.

“Thank you. You look good too.” you smiled. His eyes traveled down to your belly again and you noticed.

“Wanna feel?” you asked

“Can I?” you grabbed his hand and placed it on your belly. He smiled as soon as he felt the tiny foot press up against the palm of his hand.

“Wow he’s really in there huh?”

“Should see him at night.” you giggled. “It's like he doesn't sleep.” you leaned back against the counter and watched as Joel's hand traveled its way around your belly. You felt your heart swell. All you wanted was to kiss him and lay with him while he talks to your unborn baby.

“What do you want to do?” you asked, breaking the silence.

His hand dropped from your belly, leaning back against the counter next to you.

“When it comes to us… I don't know really, but I do know that I want to be a part of his life.”

You gave him a small nod. “Okay. You can take the gifts to your house, I have everything but a crib.”

“We can go look for one tomorrow if you want?”

“I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. We can go after.”

“Can I go? To the appointment?” he asked. You smiled and nodded.

“I'd love for you to go.”

— • —

“This damned thing.” he grumbled under his breath as he tried piecing the crib together.

“No, I think that part goes there.” Tommy muttered.

“It wouldn't make sense to go there.” Joel muttered back. You leaned against the door frame, crossing your arms over your chest.

“How many contractors does it take to put together a crib?” you asked, making the brothers face you and give you an offending look. “Don't look at me. There's a perfectly good manual sitting on the dresser.”

Joel scuffed. “Don't need no damn manual.”

“Well take a break. Dinners ready.”

“Sweet.” Tommy quickly got up and ran out the room leaving you and Joel alone.

“I could have called my dad to come put it together so you didn't have to spend your entire day off with me.”

“I don't mind darlin.. Plus I didn't really think you and your dad were on speaking terms.”

“Why wouldn't I be speaking to him?” you asked.

“Because he was the one that told me you were pregnant.” you scoffed, anger slowly building up in your chest. All this time you thought it was Tommy. After you saw him at the store you were sure he had told Joel but no. It was your dad.

“How?”

“Was over at his house for the game and he told me. Kinda just blurted it out.”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Asshole.”

“Don't get mad at him. He was just thinking it was for the best-”

“It wasn't his place to say anything Joel.” you snapped.

“Okay okay just... Calm down. Remember what the doctor said this morning.”

Your doctor had put you on bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy, worried that your blood pressure was too high and if it stayed high you'd go into premature labor. You wanted to tell her to kick rocks, knowing you still had so much to do and didn't have time to be on bedrest but you had to take it seriously.

You took a deep breath and nodded. “You're right…”

“I'm sorry.” Joel placed his hand behind his ear and leaned down closer to you. “What was that?”

You sighed and rolled your eyes. “I said you're right.”

“Mmm” he smirked. “How'd that taste coming out?”

“Like I'd rather cut my tongue out.”

— • —

It was time. You hated being a drama queen but your son was ready to come out and he was being very dramatic about his entrance into the world. To your luck, you were at your house with Joel when your water broke. You leaned over the back of the couch, slowly rocking back and forth as you watched Joel run around with his head cut off. Apparently after all those years he did forget what he was doing.

“Joel hurry up please.” you groaned as another contraction shot through your body. The pain was unbearable- like nothing you had ever felt before. All you wanted to do was curl up into the fetal position and cry.

“Alright I got everything.” he called out as he ran downstairs.

As soon as you got to the hospital they quickly put you into a room and started hooking you up to all these monitors. It was fairly quick because as soon as the doctor checked you she had you pushing. You leaned back into the hospital bed, panting and sweating

“I'm done.” you whined.

“Cmon darlin he's almost here.” Joel said in a soothing voice but you were at your wits end. The pain was too much and by the time you got to the hospital, it was too late for an epidural so you were feeling everything.

“It hurts Joel.” your voice cracked, nearly on the brink of tears. “It hurts too much.”

“I know it does sweetheart but think about our son. That sweet little boy you've been so excited to meet. All those nights you talked about having him in your arms- you finally get that. Just a few more minutes of pain, for a lifetime of happiness.”

Minutes later, the room filled with the cries of your newborn. Joel looked up, instantly falling in love with the crying baby. The nurses cleaned him up before placing him on your bare chest.

“Oh he’s perfect.” you smiled, gently kissing the top of his head.

“Beyond perfect.” Joel smiled. He gently nudged your shoulder, pulling your attention away from your son. “Proud of you mama.” he muttered.

“Couldnt have done it without you…” you admitted. His eyes glanced down at your lips. All he wanted was to press his lips against yours but it wasn't the time. Instead he kissed your forehead, making a small wave of disappointment wash over you. You really thought he was gonna kiss you, but maybe it was just your imagination.

“Do we have a name?” the nurse asked.

“I've always liked Blake.” Joel murmured.

“Blake Miller it is then.”

—

“Darlin do you want me to-” he got quiet as soon as he walked into your bedroom and saw you sound asleep with your newborn on your chest. He let out a quiet chuckle and gently picked up the baby from your chest, not wanting to wake either of you.

“Let's put you in your crib bud.” he whispered, gently rocking back and forth as he walked over to the crib you had tucked in the corner of your room. Before Joel set him down, he looked at the sleeping baby in his arms. He had the same grumpy look Sarah had when she was a baby, eyebrows scrunched together and lips puckered up. He has your nose and that was something Joel was very thankful for.

Your eyes fluttered open, not feeling the weight of your baby on you anymore. You turned your head and saw Joel staring down at him.

“Want you to know… Whatever happens between me and your mama I'll always love you with all my heart. I know I was scared before you came into the picture but… now that you're here, starting over doesn't seem so bad after all.” Blake let out a small coo, making Joel chuckle.

“Alright I'll shut up.” he kissed his forehead softly before setting him down in the crib and turning on the mobile. He turned around and saw you were still asleep. He pulled your blanket up to your chest and kissed your forehead before walking out of the bedroom. Your eyes shot back open as soon as you heard the click of your bedroom door close.

You clearly heard everything Joel just said. Now what?

divider: @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

[teecupangel]

Hiiii teecup!! How are you? Hope you're doing great, or ok at least :3c

Alrighty so I've been craving EziDes lately but I'm too busy to do anything and I have too many ideas so here it goes!

Childhood friends to lovers (god I'm such a massive sucker for this trope)

Now, I have a little bit of plot for this one, cuz this idea have been stuck in my head since 2023 🧍

Okok so it starts like usual. Desmond dies, isu bullshit, time travel, and he face plants right into Renaissance Italy. ALSO he got de-aged, maybe into his 6-7 year old self (I want them to meet pretty early in there lives :'3)

He wanders around for a while not really knowing what to do until a grumpy old lady sees him and how pathetic he looks and decides to hire him to work as her butler/caretaker (or something along those lines I don't really know at this point :'D)

And the lady's rich, not like filthy rich but rich enough. She's been living by herself for years and never got married or have any children (which I'm sure is frowned upon back then) and she's really grumpy, like 40 year old guy who just got home from a hard day of work kind of grumpy.

And most people find her very unpleasant and leaves her alone. So it was strange, downright disturbing to see a kid running around her estate doing chores and having conversations with her.

But anyways Desmond starts living with her, but he's plotting and scheming.... To save the Auditores and take care of the isu bs of course :D.

Desmond didnt plan on meeting with Ezio because he didn't want to mess up the timeline more than he already has...... and then Ezio come waltzing into life.

I don't have any clear idea of how the two would meet but it's I imagine it as extra cute :3c

Desmond is mature for his age..... A bit too mature and he's knows things that most children shouldn't,. All in all he's an odd kid.

Like mistress, like caretaker am I right ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯

Desmond cares about Ezio very much, everyone can see that, and he gets Ezio out of trouble. They're always together, rarely to be seen without the other.

On Desmond's busier days (when he have too many chores to go out) Ezio would come to the lady's estate to chat with him and even help him with some of his chores. He stays out of trouble when Desmond's not with him.... But sometimes he just can't help himself lol.

The lady and Desmond develop a parent child bond and judges people together.

And the rest is up to you because my brain is jelly. (You can name the lady. I don't have any ideas on it LMAO)

(You can also make her an important character or not, I just love her too much to cut her out of the plot)

(SHE ALSO HAD A GIRLFRIEND THAT SHE WANTED TO RUNAWAY WITH BUT SHE DIED AND NOW THAT'S WHY SHE'S GRUMPY ALL THE TIME. Do what you want with this info :3c)

(this turned from an EziDes ask to the lady lore dump, apologies)

I’m doing alright. It’s been a busier month than I expected hahahaha

So, for this one, I’m imagining Desmond’s mistress (as he likes to call her) / adoptive mother to be a collector of sort. Making her a collector of the art seems a bit too easy so we’ll pick something a bit eccentric.

She collects dolls.

Dolls aren’t all that popular during that time and, even when they were, the dolls that is more or less considered ‘acceptable’ are dolls describing the nativity and other religious centered dolls.

But she collects ‘strange’ dolls from foreign lands.

This gives us an excuse for Desmond to speak in other languages, sometimes talking on her behalf to foreign merchants who shows her dolls that she may purchase on a whim.

She knows how to speak some of the languages and it’s not like Desmond knows all the languages as well but she prefers to let Desmond do the talking with merchants she hasn’t dealt with before. (the whole “let’s see if they start talking shit about me because they think I don’t understand them” is a common setup between them)

She and Desmond also like to talk in foreign languages when they want to fuck with other people. They rarely badmouth anyone, talking about the most benign thing while their tone and body language can be misunderstood.

She also only speak in foreign languages when the Auditore boy visits. She calls him ‘Desmond’s boy toy’ or some other equivalent of that and Desmond can’t even tell her that he’s so wrong because then he’d have to explain why he knows that word in the first place.

Their home is filled with dolls of different origin and make. Some are even dolls so old Desmond feels like they should be in a museum in the future.

Ezio doesn’t really like entering their home because he feels like the dolls are watching his every move.

He’s pretty sure that the house is haunted.

Desmond doesn’t help the entire thing because, yeah, he also thinks the house is haunted.

To fuck with Ezio, he tells him that someone died in the house and she still haunts its hallways.

Desmond doesn’t know but someone did die in the house. The lady’s grandfather who used to make wooden dolls for her to play with. That’s where her fascination with dolls started.

She also commissions artists to make her dolls and no one knows where she got her money.

It became normal to see Ezio Auditore with the eccentric old lady’s ward(?)/adopted son(?)/secret grandchild(???) when he’s out for his chores. Ezio Auditore learning how to pick the best vegetables or meat was not something anyone had on their bingo card.

This is a super slow burn kind of deal for EziDes because Ezio started out as thinking of Desmond as his super smart and mature best friend while Desmond started out thinking of Ezio as someone he looks up to and wants to protect.

Really, the old lady is the one who clocked in that yeah, these two are gonna fall in love with one another because that was how her love life started.

Best friends to…

Well…

She just hoped his ending was a happy one.

(If you let me name her, Imma name her Renne and she'll spend most of her time teasing Desmond about his 'nonexistent' love life)

[ouatsnark]

okay i’m sure you’ve covered this at some point but this site is an abomination to search in sometimes.

i wanna ask about your thoughts on s7 ending scene of the coronation - personally i hate it because it fucks up every timeline MORE (NEAL IS OLDER THAN ROBIN!), but most importantly, it has regina as the ‘good queen’ and after EVERYTHING she did, i would have fucking rioted if i’d been a citizen in storybrooke.

she said from day one that she didnt want to be a queen, which cora pushed her into cos she was a social climber, so giving regina power over everyone and everything when her younger self never would have wanted that, seems silly. i would have loved to see her happy for SNOW to be crowned the good queen of everything and all because it contradicts what she says in the pilot. THAT wouldve been a change!

regina needed a quasimodo ending, not something she expected but something she needed - learning to be happy for others after she took it away so many times!

that being the ending just proves that being the most evil and worst version of yourself, can result in you being bestowed even more power (exactly like our society tbh) i hate how they pander to her at every turn and i hate the writers for the coronation scene

I understand your tag frustration! Every time I think I’ve figured out a good way to tag this blog I’m like “yeah, that’s probably not helping!”

I don't think I have one single, serious, post dedicated to how beyond livid I am with The Once Upon a Time writers/creators for crowning Regina the “Good Queen” and placing her above all of her victims and those currently ruling their kingdom/realm WITHOUT HER HELP.

The other rulers do not need her. If they’d done this with Killian you’d hear them screaming misogyny over placing him above Elsa, Jasmine and Merida etc etc. But it’s OK because it’s Regina. And I have a hard time believing anyone asked for her to be placed in this position when Regina has done NOTHING for them.

I must say that I absolutely love your take on how Regina’s story should’ve ended and the crowning of Snow White. In my opinion, though, Regina’s younger self eventually did want power. People’s goals in life can change and the moment Regina tasted power her want for power was ignited. She liked it. Regina very much wanted to rule as was evident in her cursing herself for eternity as mayor over everyone. She also murdered, tortured and abused an entire kingdom to steal Snow’s throne. She was also very happy to be mayor again in the S6 finale. So seeing her give up her want for power would’ve been amazing.

Regina learning to be happy for others and petitioning to re-instate Snow as queen would’ve been a huge step toward making me believe “ok, maybe she’s changed. Maybe this is her redemption.”

But, unfortunately, once again, this vile villain that committed so many atrocities was placed above her victims. What makes it even more unforgivable is that she never apologized or showed remorse for what she’d done to them. She still had her vault of hearts for pities sake! For all we know that crowd there was being controlled by Regina!

I have always felt that the ending should’ve been centered on Emma and her family and not on the villain that destroyed their lives and doesn’t regret it. It should’ve been a coronation for Hope and the crowning of Snow White. it would’ve been nice to see Snow actually be Snow White again like they eluded to in S5 but never followed through with. You could say her goals in life also changed as her story progressed but I just felt like it was a regression for her. She was a strong leader that led with compassion just like her father. I’d have so liked to see Snow become who she was always meant to be and not just someone standing in Regina’s shadow.

I also do not like how the Wish People were there. Season 6 wish realm already didn't make sense but Season 7 completely destroyed whatever little sense it did make. Regina having two Henry’s to love her was absolutely absurd especially since the fake Henry forgave Regina for no reason after she murdered his grandparents and took away the only mother he’d known. This isn’t on Emma either as Regina told her that all the people in the wish realm weren’t real. Well, they aren’t fake are they if Regina was about to give up everything for fake Robin and now treats fake Henry like another son…? So where is justice for Wish Snowing?! Oh right where all of the other victim’s rights to justice are: ignored, forgotten and buried or turned into Regina being the victim instead.

I am 100% with you on just absolutely hating the message that Once Upon a Time sent in regards to Regina. It’s just vile. And I fully believe that this wouldn’t have been the case if LP wasn’t a beautiful woman. It is only because she is beautiful and a woman that this is even applauded.

[huginn-on-the-loose]

Naturally, much like all others, I have my thoughts about Apology Tour.

Looking at it from production value, writing and all that jazz- it's just so fucking good. I saw plenty of Media Illiterates harping on it for 'not making sense', having 'plot holes', 'retconning characters'- and honestly there is no reason to entertain any of these supposed 'critiques', since all of them either pick and choose what to harp on or their ability to see nuance and story clues is so low it practically hit the bottom of Mariana Trench.

To briefly touch on Full Moon, both Stolas and Blitz messed that one up- but honestly, it was long coming, and I dont think there was any possible way both of them could prevent that, especially as that would require something neither were able to do- and that is talk and listen.

The Book Deal was obviously yikes, and to have any healthy relationship, it had to go- that was a step in right direction for Stolas, who realized that this was wrong, and I applaud him for that. But in his well meaning way, he forgot one important thing- to actually talk to Blitz about it.

Blitz, sadly, has a very unhealthy view of his own person. I would argue, actually, that his hypersexuality is not unlike that of an Angel Dust, because one needs to hit the lowest of low to be able to disregard and be indifferent to their own body like that. It could be its own separate post, but from Blitz's past, we know only of two loves he had- his crush on Fizz, which most likely never came to fruition, and his relationship with Verosika.

From the newest episode, we know it got pretty serious- and that Verosika considered it to be extremelly humiliating to open like that emotionally and have it blow up in her face. Seeing their 'photo' together- the illustration done- where she has a large fat 'NO' over her skirt, it really makes me wonder how comfortable young Verosika was with the fact she was seen as piece of meat- a desirable plaything, good only for one thing, and that's sex.

Blitz, obviously, is a well travelled imp; looking through the 'exes' at the party, there is fair amount of succubi/incubi, shark demons from greed, and some of the goat demons from sloth. Sprinkling of imps, yes- but it wouldnt be a far reach to expect that Blitz had to spend a fair amount in both Lust and Greed ring, to meet those specific people.

People like to talk about how naive and inexperienced Stolas is, while the party is a tapestry of Blitz' own experiences- but like, everyone conveniently forgets that Blitz was once naive and inexperienced as well. Verosika called him a 'selfish imp in the sheets'- partly out of spite probably- but we know the lenghts he went to have Stolas enjoy himself on full moons, and it makes me wonder how much of his 'selfishness' was him being selfish, and how much of it was, I don't know, dealing with another trauma? His vehemence of accusing Stolas of being just like all the other royals, and how he has an imp fetish, felt pretty personal.

25 years is a long time- we know the start of Blitz's major trauma, but there is no telling he had gained many other along the way. Him curled in fetal position after sleeping with Chaz really speaks for itself- there could have been a time where Blitz had nothing to offer to the table but himself, and it happened again and again until sex really became nothing but just another way to pay for something he needs, until making it part of his personality felt like the easier path to take instead of letting it devour him from the inside.

When he attempted to steal the book from Stolas, and then resigned himself to a pity sex because part of him didnt want to hurt Stolas' feelings even as they didnt havent seen each other for so long, his goal was to do it fast- probably his usual way of doing things- but he stayed the whole night instead.

That speaks of him enjoying the night, and when Stolas called about the deal offer, his irration was only about the timing, not the offer itself. I would go so far as say he welcomed it- what a perfect excuse to do something he enjoys without all the unnecessary emotional attachments. Only, Harvest Moon happened, with Striker (who at first was clearly a kindred spirit) managing to unsettle him by insulting his ability to be succesful, telling him he could be great but instead he is whoring himself out for a royal, and then Stolas unknowingly finishing the job. With Truth seekers following the Harvest Moon, where Stolas showed himself to be this all powerful demon while simultaneously demeaning Blitz again, he was already wavering- and then Ozzie's club did the rest.

Blitz, much like Striker, has a very poor opinion of the high class- only he is more quiet about it. With the doubts seeded, he started jerking away in the metaphorical chains he now thinks that Stolas put around him, and started paying closer attention to Stolas' actions, and clocking him as just another royal messing with him- thus taking the break offered from the Deal when he could, as a way to prove to himself he was no-one's pet.

Stolas, of course, in the meantime was grappling with his own issues. His daughter, the divorce, his own depression, his growing feelings for Blitz and the realization just how abhorrent the Book Deal was. Correctly, he realized that this needs to change, and - also somewhat correctly- realized his actions were hurting Blitz. His desire for something genuine and his doubt of getting it while the book was between them peaked when he got kidnapped and Blitz didnt even visit him while in the hospital- trouble is, he never even considered that Blitz might have deeper issues that would act as an obstacle between the two of them having a relationship.

Neither of them knows the other- not really. Stolas has guessed that Blitz put walls around himself to survive, and that the book didnt help the matters; he mentions he is aware Blitz is of a lower station but he doesnt trully know what it entails. To him, those are just two different responsibilities- he doesnt see the discrimination or bias, not yet. He doesnt know about the life Blitz lived, being hated by everyone he loved, causing pain to those he loved, and hurtling through life leaving destruction behind.

Similarly, Blitz sees the surface level of Stolas- the rich, all powerful prince, who cheated on his wife to get a fix. He sees all the power and oppoturnities he never had, wnd while at the beginning it was easy to bury himself in the sex, since Striker and Truth Seekers, he became only more sensitive to all the difference between their two lives. Sees the money, the splendour, sees the way Stolas treats his servant imps and it eats at him. He doesnt know about the abuse Stolas experienced from Stella, about the lack of parental love, doesnt know about his drinking problem or that he is so deep in depression he takes medicine for it. Doesn't know that Stolas is risking a lot in his life to be with Blitz.

And this is why they both blow up at each other as both lack context for each other's point. And they are both hurt for it more because they do, genuinelly, like each other and gravitate towards each other.

We can argue Blitz is being Blitz with his usual self-destructive tendencies- and he is, what's new?- but his frustration with Stolas is understandable, he was completely unprepared for the whole deal suddenly ending, and Stolas then dismissing him without any further explanation must have stung. That frustration continued when Stolas still refused to talk or even to turn to face him as Blitz was getting more and more agitated, finally culminated with getting thrown out the palace.

That is not to say that Stolas' own reactions were not justified. As an abuse survivor, heck, as a person, he is within every right to cut out people from his life if they cause him pain. There is a limit to how much one is able to take, and Blitz not only stamped all over his tentativelly offered heart, but then started screaming and insulting him, and he had enough of that from Stella. Stolas is done being someone's punching bag, and no matter how much he cares for Blitz, he refuses to let that continue- and then, of course, Blitz lets it slip that Striker had tried to kill him before and the sheer pain of that knowledge staggers him.

(Side note, I really think that Blitz genuinelly forgot- that whole expression was him realizing he never told Stolas about it and that the way he told him now was a major fuck up)

Before that confession, Stolas bringing up Striker was pure pettiness- as a father, he no doubt understood that Loona took preference, no matter how much it stung not to be saved personally, but at least he believed that Blitz cared, if not romantically. Now, he was not sure- and suddenly he feels hurt all over again, only this time it's worse, because what if Blitz never cared, not even a little?

Before he had no desire to go to Verosika's party, but after that, honestly, he just wanted to come to different thoughts.

Speaking of Verosika and her party, boy, she is so petty XD; I mentioned this in my other post, but while I understand her hurt and anger, her view of Blitz and any of his actions is very black and white. She villainized him, essentially stripped him of everything that made him a person in her eyes- and that automatically meant that every social interaction Blitz had that ended in a break up had a clear victim in her eyes, and Blitz was always at fault.

Considering the ensemble at the party (really, Dennis? A guy he french kissed like once?), Verosika is all to quick to shit on Blitz and doesnt bother getting the whole story out. Oh you know Blitz and he pushed you away? Welcome to the club, have a cake!

Seems to me, she only snapped out of that mentality after she overheard him talking to Stolas, as her mentioning that he made her feel guilty for being angry at him. Both of them seemed to have a bit of a wake up call- Blitz with his shitty ways and Verosika realising that maybe she was overdoing it (I sure hope so, I mean, burning effigies and violently murdering cake shaped like Blitz really makes her seem like the unhinged ex, not him- and I think Stolas agrees, if his horrified reaction means anything)

All in all, I see this episode as cathartic. Yes, the Stolitz ship is in shambles, but as it was, it could not continue; both because of the book, but also because both Blitz and Stolas are fundamentally broken people that need to take good long hard look at themselves and do better.

Stolas took a necessary step back from the mess that was their relationship and is not letting himself breath- start introspection of his own person because he has his own set of faults he needs to address, and Blitz's accusation about looking down on imps still rattles in his brain.

Blitz, for his part, already knew he was treating people shitty- but now he is finally acknowledging it, and admitting to himself he doesnt want to be like that. Hopefully he will work on being better- even if it means letting Stolas go because Blitz realize he himself is not in the state to be a good partner for him.

I think where Blitz's character is tragic is the fact that the circumstances of his life were better, he would be such a good person. He is loyal, fiercelly protective and sappy romantic at heart. He would move mountains for those he cares about, and is genuinelly happy when he sees them happy. He is still all those things- but sometimes burried so deep it's barely getting unearthed at times- we are lucky to only see slivers.

Going forward, I think we can expect Blitz opening more to others like Millie and Moxie- willingly or not. I doubt ever since the accident, he even had a chance to have a cathartic breakdown over that, instead bottling it all up.

[barzfrommarz]

Why do I still love c!wilbur so much?

small essay type post to just gush about c!wilbur

One thing that always surprises me is why I stayed with c!wilbur

Before cc!wilbur even confirmed the allegations, I dropped him and lovejoy because it was becoming way too stressful and way more obvious it was him even though he had became a special interest and a huge part of my life

So why didnt I do the same with c!wilbur?

Better question, why couldn’t I?

Maybe it’s because back in March of 2022, my online friends had just stopped being friends with me a week prior. Specifically on March 17th 2022 (correct me if i’m wrong) the first stream that kick started the apology streams happened. I think that’s was what reignited my interest fully, since I had changed myself so much for my ex friends since they hated dsmp so much and it was basically my entire personality

It was also an outlet to interact with people, since these specific friends were my only friends at the time.

It was so nice to have a community of people who love the same thing I love. Making art, fanfiction, theories even songs. It was great and it was definitely one of the best times of my life (in the recent years)

The days leading up to the final were the greatest but also the most nerve wracking, esp since I wanted c!wilbur to have a good ending and basically not die

Waiting for the stream to start on Sept 3rd 2022 was so exciting, I remember sitting in offline chat just waiting for a fucking minecraft stream to start. Something I had never done

Now im not gna critique the ending in this post. I have my gripes with the apology tour in general but thats not what this post is about.

It was surprising to watch. Not what I had expected but it had its charm and I grew on it eventually. Going on twitter afterwards kinda sucked but it stopped eventually

The community was still going strong. Even if our favorite character is completely retired. The love and passion was still there, especially for me. It seemed like my love for c!wilbur just got more intense

After the dsmp ended and 2023 rolled around, thats when I noticed things kinda slowing down a bit. I know why of course. Loveshit was kicking off for William so its obvious why more people gradually moved on from the dsmp and fan content slowed down. Including me!

I wont go more into it but it was disappointing for me as someone who just couldn't move on from c!wilbur and the dsmp to see everyone on all the main platforms I used move on. Yeah tumblr was still active but I didn't use it as much back then

Then of course, the allegations came out

Im not proud of how I acted during the first night. You could say I was very very delusional and willing to make up excuses and drown out a victim all for some white guy I didn't know.

Thankfully, the next morning I came to my senses a bit and left, soon after joining everyone in just waiting for him to respond. Luckily I had some great mutuals on twitter and we were all there for eachother, even though I was the least affected since I was more mad at the fact I wasted years of my life on him than upset.

You all know how the story ends, he responded and everyone hated on him blah blah blah

but throughout all of that, I still stayed with c!wilbur. Not any other bursona. I cant engage with any of the other bursonas because they remind me too much of william, so why is c!wilbur different?

Well one obvious factor is my autism. C!Wilbur and the Dsmp is one of my biggest and longest lasting special interest so I dont think its going away for atleast 2-4 more years atp. Who knows maybe ill be 24 years old still yapping about a minecraft server that I liked when I was 11

I also think its because of the dsmp community on tumblr. Yeah the c!wilbur part has gotten understandably smarter but the people who have stayed are awesome and cool and so creative but most importantly strong

We have all been through it. From the allegations to the shit we get from outsiders for showing slight interest in c!wilbur and the dsmp in general.

I also see it as one massive fuck you to William. Taking his creation for ourselves then actively hating on him in the process. Shipping the ship he has gone on record to say its not canon is also pretty cool

So I guess I just want to say thank you. I could not have kept my interest alive if it wasn't for you guys continuing to create despite the creator being a degenerate. This stupid little character has single handedly kept my passion for creation and art going so strong. If you look through any of my recent sketchbooks most of the pages have him on it. I got into wrighting and reading fanfiction because of c!wilbur (and c!tntduo but we dont talk about the fanfictions ive read). My point is this character means alot to me so to all the remaining c!wilbur fans...

Thank you, truly

[lightningbig]

something that really gets me about qwilbur is that he really does live in this fantasy world where nothing is really That Bad. like up until yesterday after his fight with phil where he went off on his own and had to claw through a Bit of the horrors by himself to really understand how bad things are, I don't think he ever really understood it. and it's not entirely his fault, he's been gone so long and it's hard to believe some of the things that have happened if you weren't there for them. it's hard to realize how awful things were if you weren't there. I'm remembering the brief period he was back when he found tallulah and phil tried to tell him then, tried to explain how dangerous the island really is and explain what awful things have been happening but wilbur kind of brushed things off. he didn't understand the depth of fear that phil had, couldn't understand why he was being so doom and gloom about things. because phil had been there living through it all and wilbur hadn't. and then he left again and things got worse again and the island moved on and the people moved on but wilbur didn't. he comes back and he expects the same place he left but it has undergone an unfathomable change, one that no one can even begin to explain to him in words alone. it's the kind of things that you really don't understand unless you work through it on your own. so of course he got upset at the maze and of course phil yelled back - they're both people who are hurting but who are at two different points of that hurt. there simply wasn't time to get wilbur from point a to point b by the time the group wanted to move. and there was simply no way for wilbur to reconcile his point a with where everyone else was and how everyone else was acting at point b. he Had to go off on his own for that, to work through it on his own. and he says that when he sees phil again! their whole apology is built on that, on recognizing that they weren't seeing each other evenly in that moment. for the island, they've had the time to pack their grief and their worry and their anger away enough for them to keep moving, to keep living, to focus on what they need to in order to find some answers. they HAD to, they've had not other choice, time keeps moving even though their kids are gone. but wilbur hasn't had that time. and it's not just him realizing that tallulah is gone, it's him realizing that he's been wrong about the island for so long now. it's him waking up months later and realizing this is something that's been going on for longer than he's even spent time on the island. this isn't something easy, this isn't something he can fix. it's equal parts anger and fear and helplessness. if he didnt even KNOW that this stuff was going on, how can he hope to fix it? if the eggs have really been gone this long and they're no closer to finding them, then surely the residents just aren't trying hard enough. thats what he has to believe, because the alternative is that this whole island of people - a whole community of people who are prepared, who have supplies, who have knowledge - if they can't find them, then what the hell can he do? how is he supposed to save his daughter when all of them haven't been able to?

[rae-unbeloved]

A person filled with anger and envy but they can't show it or express their desires because they would be labeled as a horrible person or monster.

A person who just wants to be great, someone who wants to be known but since they cant be known for all the good they do, all they do to repair things that cant be fixe. So they become known for the destruction they caused and their death.

The person who tries their best to be good but no matter what they get labeled as a monster and publically hated and frowned upon.

WHY THE FUCK DID I GET A SPOTIFY AD I AM IN MY MOMENT I NEED PREMIUM SO HELP ME.

Anyways.

The person who will never be free from the publics view on them, how the standard of society keep pushing them to either be a horrible person or the absolute best person ever as thats the way their parents were viewed but they cant, they cant fucking do it, they can never live up to the expectations of society so they scream, they scream the most bloodcurdling and hoarse scream someone has heard, its a scream for help, a scream of pain, but nobody comes. Nobody helps them. Just as always, but they thought it would be different this time, they screamed, they just wanted somebody to understand they are their own fucking person.

The person who gets publically executed for their wrongdoings but they knew this would happen, they knew all they had done wrong would be discovered, they just didnt know when. But they need some form of control in their life, they cant have everything outed without them knowing, without them knowing that this was the day it would happen, solution? Out themself, they work better under a deadline, that deadline would be the day they choose to reveal everything. They got to choose the day they disappear, and maybe, just maybe, in the next life they can try again and do better.

The person who has had something ruined for them by the person who hurt them, they didnt mean to hurt them, but even then, nk matter how often the person who hurt them apologies, theres always that resentment that they cant control, god how they wish there was no resentment, they wish they could still see the same person they saw before, but they cant, and everything that comes out of their mouth just fuels the flames of resentment in their heart, they wish that the person didnt hurt them, and the person who hurt then wishes the same but they know, despite how hard they try to fix everything they did, it would never be remotely similar to what they had before.

The person that just wishes to be like everybody else, the person who gets shown what its like to be human, but no matter what, they stand out, no matter what theres something that sets them apart, that makes people dislike them. They just want to be normal, they just want a friend whos real, someone except their plushies, because at the end of the day, everyone they try to be friends with abandon them. and because no matter how much they try to be normal, be like others, it just causes them to hurt, it makes them worse, it seperates them from others even more.

The person whos sick of everyone always being the same, the person whos stuck in the same fucking cycle of hurt no matter how hard they try to escape, they always get hurt by someone else, the people they go to put on a mask, act like they care and love them but at the end of the day their only desire us to hurt them.

IM GONNA STOP NOW BECAUSE I HAVE THINGS TO DO BUT I HAVE SO MANY OTHER IDEAS RHHRHRH !!! :3

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. last night we watched "datalore" together and this morning i caught "angel one" on my own

datalore: not terrible!! i felt really bad for data the entire time of course. kind of delighted to find out he is amnesiac-adjacent in this episode, at least as far as not knowing where he comes from or why. i've gotten used to thinking of him as friend-shaped but lore reminded me of just how creepy he actually does look because he was making the creepy faces

the planet and lab were cool though it was hilarious that one of the pieces was just an ass with the crotch faced away from us to protect data's modesty lol

i liked the bit about data having an off switch.it is ironically such a human vulnerability. we have those too! it's called head trauma.

ik what i said about picard not being a dick anymore but i noticed he IS still a dick sometimes and it's mostly to either wesley (valid) or data (may he DIE). i was glad data told him not to call lore "it" and that he APOLOGIZED. he should apologize to data more often

lore is literally just a data who is better at masking btw. like thats all it is. he thinks using contractions makes him allistic and he's like ha ha look at me i'm better than you meanwhile he has to use a little laser to remove his own facial tick and his special interest is murdering humans and good for him

one thing i HATED about this ep was once again wesley made a valid point and everyone told him to fuck off. meanwhile whenever hes fucking around they let him do whatever he wants. this is making me CRRRAZY. all this stuff about you would have listened to me if i was an adult!! i'll kill the little brat myself

however the episode was immediately rescued by the appearance of this meme:

which sent me immediately into screaming hysterics because i was NOT expecting to see it in its original format here. i quite literally had to pause the episode and explain this meme to catherine with tears running down my face

angel one: not as bad as the skip/watch lists led me to believe (i didnt have to play it on 2x speed for example) but still pretty fucking terrible. oh what if WOMEN were in charge wouldnt that be WEIRD AND SCARY? meanwhile the women are wearing what pretends to be "no makeup" in 1987 and theyre super fucking hot

i thought that blonde chick was rthe one from tos's backdoor pilot and even looked it up but no she just moves her face the same way

riker's slut outfit really was something. he was such a good sport about it that i thought it was kind of mean of deanna and tasha to laugh at him but considering how women are treated on this show they deserve to actually. tasha especially.

absolutely bonkers that he tried to turn the head woman down and she slept with him anyway. close encounters of the space babes riker version??? quite literally the man said i'm not an object to be seduced and then he got seduced. wild

anyway, the morals of this were all over the place. they cant remove these people bc theyre not bound by the prime directive but they literally are interfering with this planet's system of laws etc...also the fact that like everyone is arguing for gender equality when the genders are reversed is all well and good when they live in a utopian society where genders are equal but we live and star trek was made in the real world where the genders are NOT equal so it just comes out sounding like but what about the meeeeen?? i mean. what about them?? sorry.

i. HATED. the b-plot of this episode. everyone's like oh no i wonder how this virus spreads! and then they allow worf to stay on the bridge while he does those dad sneezes. maybe this episode should have been before the other to explain data's sudden hyperfixation on learning to sneeze lol. like ik all infectious disease media hits different post pandemic but jesus christ we had more sense than that even BEFORE the pandemic

tonight we do 11001001, and then i'm doing the next FOUR on my own...rough.

[visionthefox]

I definitely think you're right about how Eclipse showed up in the dream, how Sun's mind may be trying to get him to move forwards from old Eclipse, it's also interesting that with Eclipse, unlike the others afterwards, Eclipse just walks out, if this were to happen in reality, the endpoint of development could be Eclipse learning to pave his own way without the twins occupying his mind, and the twins(Sun especially, who was the most traumatized, and Moon's right, Sun doesn't have to forgive him, but they can all still move forward) doing the same...The others...Are a lot more absurd Sun is still visibly shaken and scared of Bloodmoon, as one might expect, though it was funny that Bloodmoon sorta broke the 4th wall acknowledging the real them would probably never apologize, could the whole "maybe one day you'll see us as family" thing is in reference to Sun saying "I would've loved to have another brother" to his hallucination a while back? The Catnap one was...Weird, could Sun either still feel salty about Catnap showing up trying to live there, or conversely feel bad about absolutely going off at them? Ruin's was probably wish-fulfillment, since so far there's been no dice for actually restoring the destroyed dimensions(maaaybe Solar could be brought back in some way but so far nothing on reversing that), also could it be that Moon was functioning as a sort of moderator for Sun's emotions, since he told both Bloodmoon and Ruin, two people who Sun currently has very heightened emotions about, to leave as a way to de-escalate? Sun having no tolerance for the Creator is on-brand, and of course the whole buying Fazbear thing seems crystal clear, I think the point where the dream started going off the rails is when the Creator said he wanted to be their dad again, which is something I don't think anybody wants Then everything nosedives with KC, Sun says that they "moved past" everything but who knows if that's fully true, it's interesting that Moon dips out here, it could be that Moon leaving was the indication that the whole dream/nightmare was about to spiral out of control, with Sun's mind pulling out everybody who he's had negative interactions with in the past, if Moon hadn't woke him up would he have seen other people? I am surprised Old Moon didn't show up or was even mentioned Got a bit carried away with the analysis there, who knows if any of this makes sense What do you think?

(me seeying a long ask _ happy sounds_) oh ye ye! I feel in Sun's very organic mind- he knows he must let go, and maybe deep down he wished Eclipse to change- I mean. solar is an eclipse! Sun knows how bad Eclipse had it- but if Moon did change.. why not Eclipse? simple.. this one? is mean to be the copy of that simple minded personality.. and we saw how much this does affect Eclipse he is- while Sun is dreaming-totally having a internal crisis over what - who he is- is he himself? does he keep playing the act? does he finally break free of the chain of trauma? Sun may want Eclipse to find peace.. is why he made Eclipse be still grumpy, but honest. is what he wish- yet soon the mind ran with these "forgiveness" dream into a nightmare of nonesense- as most dream happend to be now BM! totally forgot they ever said that! maybe you be right- Sun is still deep down a good AI- maybe the guilt over "failing" to help BM still hits him- same as Eclipse, he could have step in- but didnt out of fear.. with BM- I feel is a mix of, VA having fun- but also Sun telling himself "what you want for, is this absurd- people just wont change over night" harsh like BM often is! for everyone, as mentioned, is dream going wild as dream do- Creator saying all of this way maybe some old wished Sun had? yet maybe also a bit of nighmare- having him as a dad is way worst- I think so yea- for OldMoon.. I feel if if the dream continued- he could have showed up, break the 4th wall saying all othe most critics his character had- while also being the final goodbye Sun may still need? ohh anon, I love what you bring to the dream theory~ <3 thanks you so so much!

[just4notherd4ydre4mer]

Sibling headcanons [1/3]

(you are here) -> PART 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Important note: To the person who requested this, I will be splitting this into 3 parts so its more doable... and bearable to read through. Sorry that just these two took so long :') Enjoy tho!

content: [gn!reader], [olderbrother!kageura], [olderbrother!ninomiya]

status: unedited/not proofread + requested

character(s): Masato Kageura, Masataka Ninomiya

warning(s): mild cursing. Uhhh... likely wont be proofread? I dont think they're too OOC, but Kageura might be...

extra: Masterlist

(reader is around 10 years younger in my mind but its written in a way where you can imagine the age gap as whatever)

~~~

Masato Kageura:

Ur probably one of his favorite people tbh, if not THE favorite

Why?

because ur emotions towards him arent so prickly AT LEAST 60% of the time

Puts up w whatever antics you do and might go along with it

But also gets fed up w you so quickly

He's aggressively protective? Kind of.

Kage knows when you're upset w him due to his side effect

When he senses that, he usually does try to talk to you.

100% hates it when ur angry or upset towards him for more than a day.

He does his best to not have outbursts towards you

Always encourages you to stand up for yourself and gets absolutely pissed off if you dont.

He'll defend you despite that though

Will scold you when he's done

"Why're ya mad at me this time?!" He groaned in frustration, turning to face you.

The annoying, prickly sensation was crawling across his skin. He knew it was coming from you, the only other person in the room.

You glowered at him from your spot on the couch, right across the room from him.

"..."

"..."

Kageura gave you a narrowed eyed look of which you returned.

He apologized, "Alright, damn... Sorry for making a scene earlier."

"Good," you said.

Someone had bad mouthed you for outfit choice and the both of you had heard it. Kageura had expected you to at least give them a stern look but you didn't do anything. So, he stood up for you like a good big brother would.

Masataka Ninomiya:

He isn't as cold and arrogant towards you as he is to everyone else

But he is blunt and is still kind of an ass

Personally, I think he wouldnt be the best older brother, but also not the worst.

Would probably hurt ur feelings tbh LOL

and he'd mean it

If ur the type to friendly to everyone, it annoys him

He wont tell u tho (the one thing he wont bring up)

Ur still ur own person after all

Are u talented in something? Anything?

Ur not his sibling anymore /j

Ok but seriously, in his trivia it says he hates ppl with talent lmaooo

I have the feeling that if u are, he doesnt subject you to his opinion about that but always has that icy stare whenever he see's u doing whatever it is

You call him "Masa" and he doesnt care until you say it in front of someone, especially if they're from Border

In the end, ur his younger sibling and he treats you accordingly

Maybe buys you gifts for special occasions... but always gets u smth for ur birthday

Idk, he's just not the greatest sibling out there.

It was your birthday today. Everyone had wished you a happy one throughout the day. Well, everyone besides your own brother. But what could you do? It was the Masataka Ninomiya after all.

After his shift at Border, he dropped by your room. Usually an unexpected thing, but he seemed to remember that he had a younger sibling when it was your birthday.

"Here," he said with his normal blunt tone.

You didnt question him and simply took the item (pretend it's smth you've wanted for a while now). It wasnt even wrapped up...

After silently swallowing your subtle displeasure, you were thankful in the end, "Thanks Masa."

He ignored this nickname and began to walk out.

"Dinner's ready," he said from over his shoulder.

You suddenly couldn't help but wonder what his reaction was when he found out he was going to have a younger sibling. An amusing thought crossed your mind. It would've been really funny if he had actually made a face of worry or discontent. You were definitely going to bring it up to your parents during dinner.

~~~

to be continued...

word count: dont feel like looking

start: 7/04/23

finish: 7/09/23

a/n: gonna be honest. just these two should NOT have taken this long. the procrastination is hitting me... I PROMISE PT2 AND 3 WILL BE OUT SOON... <3

[argentsunshine]

anon with the add on back :

yeah, now that you explain it does make a bit more sense but it. just hurts because whereas they acknowledged yusuke blantantly lying about madarame stealing his work, they seem to just completely kind of ignore akechi's warnings and that doesnt even make sense to me.. they dont even really acknowledge it, all because they dont know who he's working for until the last minute, and that doesnt make sense to me at all. but ty for taking ur time to ramble: i actually do it myself a lot, and i have so many thoughts abt so many things that i'd like to explore more in depth but can't put in words myself .. i'd just wish theyd atleast acknowledge that akechi is being used the same way everyone else was instead of ignoring it, even if they still cant continue to aid him: it feels like they didnt try (to me), even with ryuji's ... hatred for him, i'd atleast think that ryuji would atleast try to acknowledge it and want to do something but being unable to instead of still being an ass, even if goro is one as well (and i think, speaking of mental illness, as someone with npd and aspd and avpd, goro has both symptoms of npd and aspd: futaba has symptoms of avpd, but thats a topic at a later time.) and i think goro's not truly being himself in 3rd sem when he's blunt and mean, that he's still constantly masking, as people with npd and or aspd do like myself, and he's tired of being nice on tv so he has to pull thin insults when in real life because as much as he masks, it gets annoying, and he (along with myself and many others) likely has low empathy and just thinks of others (especially those of ryuji's caliber, as much as i love ryuji and everyone else) as , well put, idiots, because they dont know as much as he does, and the fact that they know more than him in the metaverse has likely made him crash (his engine room was essentially an npd crash, i think), but them not knowing "basic information" (as my brain puts) likely gives him a narc high, which also leads to thinly veiled insults.. adding onto the npd goro akechi, i think akira is his ep (Equal Person-- people w/ npd hold them to high standards, higher than they hold for themselves, and expects them to challenge eachother-- essentially akechi's rivalry with akira.. in alternative, bpd akira tells me that akechi is his FP, but i can discuss that at a later time)

regardless, and apologizes for this long paragraph, tysm for responding because that does make things a little clearer, and no one's really talked to me about it before, so thank you :D

yeah, i absolutely get where you're coming from - although i think the statement "they're ignoring his warnings because they don't know who he's working for" has the flipside of "by the time those warnings are given, the thieves already know he's the black mask and is presumably being manipulated by someone, so he's not actually warning them about anything they don't already know"

but yeah, the only reason i don't think they should have reached out to him pre-engine room is that i don't know when in the story that would have been an option: their plan to find out who his boss was wouldn't have worked if they'd tipped him off to the fact that they knew he was the black mask, and after 11/20, he thinks Akira's dead, and i doubt he would gave listened to any of the others. i think Ryuji's treatment of him us also kind of a result of Ryuji's general main story characterisation - in game the vibe is very much that ryuji doesn't like him because he's popular and smarmy and talked shit about the thieves on live tv, rather than the fact that he's a murderer, but they don't let ryuji have complex takes on things in the story ever. now im thinking about their relationship in my palace au lmao. if i were to frame it in more. terms. idk. ryuji hates the detective prince. but akechi doesn't respect ryuji so ryuji has no reason to try harder

and on the npd/aspd front - I'm not super familiar with npd but i can absolutely see that (i think akechi has a bunch of obvious Mental Illness Symptoms that are common to a lot of things, which is why i think mentally ill bitches latch onto him no matter what's going on. people saying he has npd have always sounded right to me i think he's autistic also because -- well you heard what i said about unsympathetic symptoms of mental illness last time) but as someone who has some symptom overlap i think youre 100% right on stuff i know about. low empathy bitches rise up.

but yeah, i think a lot of stuff is kind of the result of the writers seeming constantly all over the place with him. i think it's especially bad in the section from 11/20 to the engine room, because while i think in royal there was some vision for who he was supposed to be, everything in vanilla is far more over the place, and in some cases vanilla's contradictory writing of him is made worse by its interactions with royal's akechi content. because 11/20 isn't designed to accommodate for the possibility that this guy could be your actual friend rather than a guy you've spoken to a few times turned tenuous ally turned traitor. i don't think akechi ever would have acted differently in a way that mattered, but the way the thieves talk about him is in line with his flatter villain characterisation in that period in vanilla. he's a terrible irredeemable evil person until just before he dies, and then he's a tragic victim to the point that in the shadow shido fight, they talk as if akechi wasn't responsible for any of his own actions, despite the fact that he was demonstrably doing it of his own free will. and then he dies and you're not supposed to care because he's a Bad Guy so they barely bring him up again in vanilla. all that rings a little strange with the royal stuff

anyway all this has got me thinking about the dynamics between akechi and the non-akira thieves. i should really keep writing my akira's palace fic

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

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dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

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nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

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jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

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ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

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max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

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emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

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kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

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abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

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laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

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max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[2n2n]

rapidfur said: One thing thats kinda funny to me is a lot of Mitsuba fans hate Tsukasa and yet Mitsuba is usually getting put together with him… they’re weirdly incompatible, but somehow also patible. 

I love the analysis behind Mitsuba hanging out with people who take care of him, too! There’s interesting stuff to rifle through here, but I’m not expecting a lot from the climax of mitsuba’s arc… still, it’d be fun to see him finally take a side for once(?)

Mitsuba himself is just so fussy and picky about who he's around that he... LETS the default become Tsukasa!? He rejects so much due to shallow reasons or, I don’t know, maybe reasons of being more afraid of rejection from things that would mean more? (I can’t tell if that’s giving him too much credit or not...).... Tsukasa is the lowest common denominator. Not Tsukasa’s fault! 

If we should be mad at anyone for Putting Mitsuba Around Tsukasa, it is, Mitsuba. Who fsr actively ignores Natsuhiko due to his harmless cringe, and is too tsundere or something to intrude on Kou more (or, I don't know, he doesn't want to get bonked or blasted by lightning or yelled at that day, and all Tsukasa might do on a random day is chase him with the equivalent of a horrible big spider. Also it’s probably bad for the ego to have to put yourself in front of someone as an active choice, VS just ‘staying at home’ with Tsukasa who is Just There, accessible). But man, honestly I’m always depressed about that aside comic where Mitsuba sadly spectates Kou having a great time with his friends (head empty, not thinking about that lonely ghost boy at all I guess), tries to be cute/cheeky by stealing his lunch, and gets dragged outside and beaten for it, then flicked in the head while sincerely apologizing gklj;sljfksdlg;jdkglfgfklgf;gglgf I would also just hang out with Tsukasa.

.... but I do objectively know that for some reason, Mitsuba really wants Kou’s attention specifically (he just doesn’t want to have to always remind him he exists....)

.. I wish Kou was more patient for your impulsive rudeness... I think against Tsukasa, Mitsuba can scream whatever insults he wants or be rude and, it doesn’t, matter lol. Tsukasa can’t earnestly be offended by Mitsuba. He does not care if you call him insane or stupid. Maybe that makes him weirdly more compatible. Renders Mitsuba’s noxious compulsive behavior inert. 

Ya hope for more, though it’s hard to know coming whats up. At the moment Mitsuba’s arc is just so based on really tangible goals that it becomes boring for me. I mean, Hanako’s goal with Nene isn’t actually as simple as “make her live” (since it comes more with, ‘destroy my system of thought and value and realign my concept of importance which has been broken for 50 years at least’, and also, ‘I want to exert control over Nene because anything less won’t give me a sense of importance in her life, and I’m deeply insecure and possessive’ AMONG OTHER THINGS) .... I keep hoping Mitsuba’s wish will actually evolve into something, else, because I’d prefer to know like... what he wants out of living. What does living do. He doesn’t even enjoy or relish in his resources as-is, and he didnt when alive, either. He has a chronic gratefulness problem? And he’s self-aware of that in Picture Perfect, like, he’s capable of seeing the living Mitsuba as ungrateful for what he has. But he’s also presently ungrateful for what he has, too, imo? It’s still his key problem. He’s so busy criticizing his options and criticizing everyone around him that I don’t feel like he loves anybody. It’s like-- Mitsuba-- do I have to somehow drop you down an even further rung of isolation, to make you appreciate what Tsukasa’s opened you up to, here and now? What resources you’ve got to try to eke out some joy from?

 ............ Because Tsukasa has spent untold amounts of untethered time in a spooky house and then in the pit of Hanako’s boundary where no one can reach him, IT’S MAKING IT HARD TO SYMPATHIZE WITH MITSUBA, FOR ME........................ it’s not his fault but COMPARATIVELY, it’s hard to be so invested in Mitsuba’s more cursory and brief loneliness. I mean I also think Tsukasa is more generally unlikable and socially busted than even Mitsuba. I think Mitsuba could.... make a small amount of effort and enjoy dividends, but I don’t really think Tsukasa can alter his  nature (and AidaIro assert he doesn’t need to). TSUKASA is enjoying and appreciating what is around him. Its good Mitsuba is always chasing more in that it’s literally the opposite of Hanako’s problem (who is so stubborn about remaining deprived to make a point), but also, he’s always chasing more in a way that doesn’t have him ever stop to value what he does have. I mean, what if an opportunity to become human came at the expense or upheaval of everything he has, right now? I’d love Mitsuba experiencing something that like, earnestly forced him to state and address what he loves about his existence right now. 

....I’m always so lost on what improvement is supposed to mean for Mitsuba, because Kou is out here like, “you ARE annoying and shitty and self-centered, that’s the real you, don’t pretend to be fake-nice” which is a little insane to me, it’s like if Nene yelled at Hanako “you are emotionally guarded and defensively rude and intentionally upsetting as a mechanism to keep yourself from vulnerability, that’s the real you”. LIKE.. IT’S NOT THOUGH!!!! It’d be , GOOD, if, people who are defensively rude, could untangle why they feel a need to lash out or keep others at arms length.....!!!! I KINDA DO THINK MITSUBA NEEDS TO WORK ON HIS PERSONALITY not because it’s wrong to be a little rude (I think even a ‘healed’ Hanako would be. shitty.), but because his behavior is so extreme and compulsive that it actively pushes away people!!!! Maybe even disproportionately pushes away people he wants to be closer to! Or, he, doesn’t just ask for what he needs! He can’t just tell Kou he’s lonely and felt left out, that he feels abandoned when Kou is perfectly content with his living friends. I wish Mitsuba could express that without conditions as extreme as Picture Perfect. But if Kou doesn’t see his rude behavior for the ploy it is, HOWWWW is Mitsuba supposed to unpack that on his own??? -I- think Mitsuba has a more earnest needy self under there, and I think the guy calling everyone a dirty pervert is obfuscating that. THERE’S GOTTA BE A MIDDLEGROUND BETWEEN BEING FAKE-NICE AND PERFORMATIVE, AND BEING INCREDIBLY DEFENSIVE. THERE’S GAAAHTTA BEEEEEEE. I don’t know how we’ll find it. It’s like Mitsuba’s on his own for this one.

Man for the Valentines day event, Sakura gets Mitsuba chocolates to make him feel included (obviously, he’s sad and jealous of the students receiving attention....), and Mitsuba rewards that perception with .............. assuming Sakura has a crush on him, then, when she says, no, assuming she must hate him. I ............................................................ Mitsuba has issues to work on  😭 these stakes are so hard Mitsubaaaaa and if you act like this with someone like Kou he literally tazes you. mnrnrggh. What do we DO. WHO WILL HELP ANY OF THIS.

.. its so hard, when Tsukasa appears to wholeheartedly love Amane’s issues, so I understand why Nene is there to... have a problem with his problems. Tsukasa is seemingly, right now, not hurt by his emotionally difficult brother, he doesn’t appear to need Amane to change for his sake. Nene does, so she’s there to shake him up, challenge him while still loving him. Kou both encourages Mitsuba’s personality and reacts negatively to it? What on Earth is he supposed to do about that? hourgh.

[concordefliesinmyroom]

introduction !!!

hii !!!! my name is Violet. i am a really big fan of art & whatnot (basic). i have been taking on a little bit of a personal challenge 2 listen 2 at least one new album every day & ive been working on that challenge for about 1.5 years now !!! i looove talking about art and sharing my thoughts and 4 the past year or so i have been posting all my thoughts and media analysis and whatnot onto my Instagram story, but i have always wanted 2 start posting my thoughts somewhere that is more.... permanent, i guess? bc Instagram stories expire after 24 hours yk. anyways. i finally made a Tumblr blog !!!!! i am COMPLETELY new 2 Tumblr. so i apologize in advance if my blog is like informal or not very "good" quality by Tumblr standards or whatever else i will get better !!!

here is what u can expect from this page:

i am going to post music reviews/recommendations most likely, as well as film & literature & all of that stuff. whenever i see a piece of media that interests me enough 2 want 2 talk abt it im gonna use this blog 2 share my thoughts !!!!

i also am really interested in philosophy, i am only just now formally getting into it, but i have been thinking about that sort of stuff and asking questions like that 4ever. erm. i wouldnt call myself a philosopher bc that feels pretentious but i aspire 2 be a philosopher eventually. ill probably post abt that sort of stuff as well. i am also VERY interested in sociology, psychology, anthropology, political science... pretty much anything like that. i just love learning about things in general EVERYTHING is so fascinating 2 me but especially humanity.

i am a bit interested in politics as well !!!! i dont like to use any labels 4 my political ideas bc i feel like those can be limiting & contribute 2 close-mindedness but if i had 2 describe my alignment in any way i am probably pretty far-left. although i am completely open 2 hearing everyone's ideas!

i might also post about other things as well, im not sure yet !!!

some info abt me:

i am a girl, so, she/her pronouns ig !

i am 16 years old (well im 15 but i turn 16 in two weeks)

i am a member of the LGBTQ community

my handle on most social media sites is yourdadcosplay if u want 2 follow me anywhere else !!! (i dont do cosplay or anything~ when i was 13 i heard some guy on tiktok say the phrase "your dad cosplay" and i thought that combination of words was super funny so i made it into my username on instagram and then it just kind of stuck. and i use that on everything now. only reason i didnt use it 4 my tumblr is bc i didnt want ppl 2 think my blog was a cosplay blog or something idk)

my favorite music artists r: Black Country New Road, Kimya Dawson, Death Grips, Xiu Xiu, and Car Seat Headrest !!!!

my favorite album of all time is Ants From Up There and my favorite movie of all time is Everything Everywhere All at Once, both of those pieces came out in the year 2022.

my favorite book is the manga Goodnight Punpun by Inio Asano, and its actually the book that made me fall in love with literature.

im currently working on creating my own website!!! i dont know anything about HTML though, so it will be a long process.

i dont believe in astrology rlly but i am a Gemini.

my iq is 122 or something around that i dont remember the number i just remember im in the 93rd percentile

i am an INFP

boundaries:

i do try my absolute best to be open-minded and tolerant towards everyone's ideas and beliefs; even those which i disagree with. i actually encourage ppl who disagree with anything i say 2 challenge me or discuss/debate with me. that being said, if u r not willing 2 have a civil and open-minded discussion with me, and if ur only interest is arguing, then i will ask u 2 pls leave me alone. i love talking 2 ppl who have ideas different than my own, but i do not wish 2 engage in any immature internet beefs or anything of that sort.

pls, 4 the love of god, if u r the type of person who gets offended over every little thing; if u r more concerned with petty discourse & things that have no significance 2 any real-life problems; if u lack media literacy; or if u r otherwise just unintelligent, then PLEASE dont interact with my page.

i try my absolute best 2 be a good person. if i ever do anything that u find 2 be morally offensive (this is not just if i say something that makes u feel a bit of angst, but if i say something that u feel is actually problematic.) or if we r interacting directly & i make u uncomfortable, PLEASE TELL ME! i hate it when ppl have problems with me that could easily be resolved but they just dont tell me. it makes me anxious.

also, pls note:

just because i talk about a certain piece of media or art or literature on this blog does not necessarily mean that i agree with the ideas expressed in that blog or even that i like that piece. i try my best to think 4 myself and i do not take all of the ideas that r expressed 2 me as the absolute truth. just because i read any given book does not mean that i necessarily agree with its ideas; the same goes 4 all of the topics i discuss here.

as a large part of this blog is abt media discussion & whatnot, i want 2 say that i am absolutely open 2 any art. and i will not avoid any piece of media just because it is allegedly problematic.

most of this page is dedicated 2 sharing and discussing my ideas on various topics like art, philosophy, politics, and such. i dont think that im going 2 be posting or saying anything that is incredibly morally offensive or anything, and 2 be honest i dont even think my ideas r particularly radical or controversial, but, if there ever does come a time when i might have a potentially controversial idea, i wont hesitate 2 share it. im not going 2 censor myself or sugarcoat my beliefs on this blog just 2 avoid discourse.

all of that being said, this blog is not 2 be taken 100% seriously either. i will talk abt serious topics on here, but i like 2 laugh as well! u should not assume that anything i say is 100% serious or 100% satirical. that SHOULD be a given, but on my Instagram account, i have had a worrying amount of interactions with ppl who got mad at me 4 things bc they assumed i was serious when i wasnt or vice versa.

ok, that is all !!! thx 4 reading !!!