#aphobia is not cool chat

[professional-writher]

How life has felt after I got over my deeply internalized aphobia and allowed myself to finally be myself

[rainesol]

TWST Main Cast Pride Headcanons!!!

Compiling all of my personal twst gender/sexuality headcanons into one post 💪

Disclaimer: I won’t bother with a DNI, however I won’t indulge any discourse or homo/trans/aphobia on this post. You will be blocked and promptly clowned on in the group chat. o7

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

Riddle is an interesting character to me. I don’t think he’s the type to put a label onto his sexuality, but I headcanon bi with a female preference. Gender identity wise, I think within the current storyline he is satisfied with he/him pronouns. Best way to put it into words is that I think he’s nonbinary and uses he/him, but doesn’t have a label for that either. After finding out the custom, he always introduces himself and gives his pronouns.

I choose to interpret his line about enjoying the way his heels click as gender euphoria that just went unrecognised. At the time that I’m writing this, the Lost In The Book event isn’t out on en, but through this translation, you can see that any problems he had with the outfit came from the amount of skin shown rather than the actual presentation. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been magical-girled into a sundress he’d have been totally cool with it.

As an extra note, I’ve seen a couple of transfem Riddle headcanons that I love. I’d love to see more fics with that concept in the fandom. Or I could do it myself lol.

Ace Trappola:

We know that Ace has canonically had a girlfriend in the past, and found her boring. Not nice. He also says that he decided that dating was a pain and he prefers just hanging out with his friends. I get it. I’m aroace and I’ve confessed that I’m biased and projecting 😔 But like. Come on. I’m choosing to interpret him as aromantic/arospec. Let me cling on to the representation that I made up in my head. I don’t have any specific gender headcanons on this guy. I just view him as cis. He/him.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is another guy I don’t have much for </3 I usually view him as a gay man in my head? He/him pronouns, cisgender. I think he’s surprisingly more open to gender non-conformity than people expect of him, though. (For instance, the ballet lessons.)

Cater Diamond:

It’s canon in the jp server that Cater has interest in dating both men and women. I’m with everyone else in viewing him as canon bisexual. I headcanon him as having a male preference, but sometimes that changes.

It’s obvious what I’ll say about his gender, but for sure under the nonbinary umbrella. We all saw the guitar strap. Maybe demiboy? He/they. Cater is very online, and considering that the nonbinary flag is ten years old, he or his elder sisters might remember its creation.

Anyways, here’s the nonbinary flag colour picked from his club groovy, and the bisexual flag picked from his Halloween groovy! :D

Trey Clover:

Trey is typically a cis dude in my head. (He/him) He's the supportive older brother type, so I imagine that he keeps the Heartslabyul public bathrooms stocked on pads. I don't know how helpful he would be with advice, but he'll hear you out or refer you to the guidance councillor if that's what you want o7 I don't think the NRC guidance councillors are much help though. Maybe just speak to your homeroom teacher.

I hc that Trey likes men and women with no preference, but just isn't very vocal about it. It'll come up in casual conversation, but I don't think he'd see the point in telling someone unless it was relevant. You'd be having a casual convo with him in the common room, and he might make a reference to a guy he had a crush on in secondary school. Cue SnapCube 'Woah, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!'

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

I've seen so many 'token cishet' Leona headcanons that I cant help but to absorb it a little. I do have another headcanon that he experiences some same-sex attraction, but he's got such high standards that he rarely notices any attraction at all. He/him. Maybe poly cause lions?

Jack Howl:

MLM demisexual/romantic truther. (He/him or he/they) I don't have many headcanons for the Savanaclaw trio <//3 if you see/make any please feel free to tag me!! I love reading I love information I love headcanons���️

Ruggie Bucchi:

Either transmasc or the personification of the 'I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn'. I usually picture him with He/him or he/they. Perhaps a rare they/them if you so desire.

Pansexual, his only preference is hard workers on their grind 💪 Between you both you could create an empire of part-time jobs. I've also seen one or two poly headcanons with him that I enjoy. Dividing the bills between the whole polycule lads come on. We're eating good this week.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

I cannot lie, I don't have anything on this guy. There's nothing to be said yk. Like, he's just there in my head and there's not much else I can add. I tend to agree with the MLM headcanons. I also picture him as demisexual/romantic sometimes. Not always. He's the best in the school at remembering pronouns. He updates his secret file on you right away.

Gender wise, I always just enjoy whatever the fanartist/fic writer shows me. I default to he/him. Ursula was based on a drag queen! I think that there should be post-canon/book 3 Azul drag personas. Now I'm picturing a drag design. She/her/he/him for that.

Floyd Leech:

Asexual and panromantic. I think Floyd uses any pronouns, depending on his mood. I headcanon genderfluid, but he typically keeps near the masc end of the spectrum. Not always. The basketball club made colour-coordinated bracelets so that they can easily tell whenever Floyd's preferences have changed. Blue for he/him, pink for she/her, yellow for they/them. Open for combinations of those three, and no bracelets for when he has no preference :D

Jade Leech:

Asexual and gay. I headcanon that he always introduces himself with he/him pronouns, but at the same time I picture him being cool with any pronouns. In classic Jade fashion, he will be generally unnerving about your choice. Like 'Oh? Is that your choice? ...Fascinating :)'

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

I don't have many headcanons on him specifically, but he'll totally pay for your HRT. Like Trey, he and Jamil keep Scarabia stocked with menstrual products. Kalim has a LOT of siblings, so he's seen a lot of different kinds of people :D He's got a ton of older brother advice. I see him with he/him pronouns, and MLM.

Kalim is a very supportive friend. Always excited to learn new things about his you. Also, those parades he throws? I bet he's (Jamil's) organised an NRC pride event. If I had the skills and patience, I'd draw that idea. If anybody does, tag me o7 I wanna see.

Jamil Viper:

Jamil is a very well prepared man. As I mentioned above, he's the one that puts Kalim's plans into action. He keeps Scarabia stocked on everything, he's technically still an older brother, but I don't see him as having that dynamic with anyone other than his sister. He's still a supportive friend, though :D

I headcanon Jamil as bi, usually with he/him pronouns.

I once had a transfem au Jamil idea way back when I was 17, but I haven't given it much thought since. Maybe I'll bring the au back someday?

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil has A LOT of headcanons, theories and interpretations in the fandom. Vil is canonically a very gender nonconforming character, using typically gender neutral pronouns, being comfortable in his gender identity and presentation, and is very open to wider interpretations of gender outside of what is stereotypically considered 'masculine' or 'feminine'.

Surprisingly, I've got no proper headcanons on a set gender identity for him. There's already so much canon info within the series, that I just haven't given it much thought. I think he defaults to he/him pronouns, but is perfectly comfortable with anything. Keeps Pomefiore stocked and educated, and he's very well taught in makeup that can make you appear feminine OR masculine.

Similarly, I don't really have any label-specific headcanons for his sexuality. I normally interpret him as MLM. Vil is one of the characters that I'm always interested to see discussions about. His views on gender identity are pretty refreshing to see in modern media.

Epel Felmier:

Epel my friend! Another character that I like reading interpretations of. Again, I always give him he/him pronouns. He also had a lot of canon information on his views of gender norms. His character arc is honestly one of my favourites.

I typically picture that he’s attracted to multiple genders. I’ve seen a lot of interpretations where he mistakes his attraction for jealousy. A lot of “do I want to date him or be him?”

Another au/headcanon I’ve seen a lot of is transmasc Epel. I know a lot of transmasc people see themselves in him. That’s awesome.

Rook Hunt:

This guy! I see him as pansexual but also on the aromantic spectrum. Hear me out. In his suitor suit he has one (1) singular line about not being ready for marriage yet. Like obviously, he’s eighteen, but it just made the projecting side of my brain whir. I now see him as the type to like the idea of romance, just not for himself. Doesn’t mean that I don’t like seeing art/ships that go against this, but that is a hc I hold dear now.

He/him pronouns, but this guy loves to discuss peoples gender identity and interpretations of gender. Sit down with him and a cup of tea, and he’ll listen and talk for hours about how you both feel. Be warned that he may take notes. Mirror pronouns Rook? Oh wait. I like that. Mirror. Like Snow White.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

I typically see Idia as aroace with either little or no attraction. I like the headcanon that he doesn’t date at all, but I’ve also seen enough Silver x Idia to have another set of headcanons. I like both :D I’ve never seen him as not aroace though.

I do kind of wish I had his Suitor Suit sometimes. Every other line is something I’ve definitely said before. Like, the only time he shows any interest in dating is through video games and manga with characters that aren’t him. That’s so me irl you guys don’t understand. I would die happy if twst had canon aro/ace rep.

I think Idia’s the type to only use different pronouns online. Maybe with Ortho, too. He/they online and with close family. Everyone else knows him as he/him. I said that Cater might remember the nonbinary flag’s creation. Idia does. He was on twst tumblr to witness the creation of many flags.

Here's the aroace flag picked from the Suitor Suit card! :D Very pretty.

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho is downright fascinating to pick apart. Pre book 6, I doubt Idia programmed a sexuality into him. Like it would even be possible. Then post book 6, after he gains a soul/sentience, I think he and Idia would have had a talk about him now having the choice to one day explore his gender identity and orientation (if he so desires). I think Ortho wouldn’t have any interest in dating, though.

Confessional time. Before wiring this I had the random thought of “In second year Ortho downloads she/they.zip and gets a new body made”. I never meant to pay much kind to it but now I can’t let it go. Like I’ve been accidentally referring to Ortho as she in front of friends. I have a future design in mind. I have additional headcanons about this design. It’s completely taken over. If I ever post that redesign is beyond me but it’s there in my head and it won’t leave. Fem!Ortho future au. Idk if anyone would hear me out there.

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Another character I enjoy multiple interpretations of. One interpretation I have of him is cupiosexual/romantic. The other is demisexual/panromantic. Either way, the concept of a qpr would make him so excited that it doesn’t rain for days on Sage’s Island. The grass withered.

Malleus is old. Not mentally, but chronologically. He’s seen language change a couple of times, and he grew up with people even older than him. He was born in the mid 1800s equivalent. Thon is one letter off of thorn. See where I’m headed? The use of thon/thons was first recorded in the 1850’s. Gender neutrality is not a new concept to him.

If you asked for his pronouns, I feel like he wouldn’t immediately understand. Like, he calls himself I. Me. Sometimes if he’s with someone we. Did you want all of those too? Oh, just the ones you call him./j

Anyways twisted wokeland au where Malleus allows Yuu to make up a name and set of pronouns for him because he refused to introduce himself/j

Silver:

Another guy I never considered. Mayybe also on the aroace spectrum? I think he’d be happy in a qpr. I think he’s not the type to question it. He just goes with whatever he feels. I��ve not got much lol.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Demisexual/romantic and he/him pronouns. Again, I’ve not thought much on him. I think it takes him a long, long journey of self-discovery though.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Again, Lilia was born a LONG time ago. He was born in the early to mid 1300s equivalent. He’s seen so much change since then, and he’s been through a lot of character arcs. I think I’m justified in headcanoning him as an unlabelled king. If he likes a girl, awesome. He likes a guy? Cool. I think it’s common to hear him refer to himself in a dead language. Baby girl, he has heard pronouns you could not comprehend.

If you ask his gender or sexuality, you’ll get some vague dad gestures, and a ‘you know what I mean’ nod. You don’t. You won’t.

Book 7 spoilers, but I hope that they keep the mlm implications in for the en translations. They’ll probably pull a Cater and write out the canon bi implications though. Heartbroken.

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Thank you for reading to the end of my ramblings o7 If anyone else makes pride themed posts please feel free to tag me!! I would love to see them!

I really like the subtle ways these things are portrayed in the story. Especially within the world building. We know that is generally societally acceptable for men to wear makeup and dresses in TWST, and there’s canon development of language changing over time in a gender neutral way! (Witches and wizards -> mages. Suck on that, Rowling.)

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@tixdixl @cyanide-latte @the-trinket-witch @thehollowwriter @elenauaurs

@emiensr

[undeadfvckgirl-base]

Welcome to my spiral into insanity!

My name is Rubik and I am introducing you to God personally but in a tea party way

I'm a Poly Frag system (The Wither System) with a lot of fictives! Anything past that is not your business if I don't give it to you first

I'm 19 turning 20 soon actually in December!

Our host is actually a J subsystem so no matter what you do there will be J on this blog and yes I do own the JcJenson Pen and it's my wife

I am currently hyperfixated on Murder Drones, Minecraft and just got into Welcome to Night Vale!

I'm Otherkin/Alterhuman collectively and individually!

Our collective kins are

Dragon Kin

Wither/Witherstorm Kin

and Cat Kin

My own kin list is short but it's primarily

Alternate kin

and Warden/Sculk kin

Some important things about me is I do not have a dni however I expect you to respect your OWN DNI and please do not follow me if you are uncomfortable by these facts about me otherwise I will just assume you don't care/don't mind as I am not a mind reader

I am Pro Endo. I have been Anti Endo and it ruined my life. If that upsets you that's not my problem

I am Pro Mspec identities and that does and will always include Bi Lesbians. Excluding these people is the same repackaged aphobia we had earlier on tumblrs life and you know it is

I really do not care what you ship. Please talk to me about your weird ships I enjoy exploring creative ideas about dynamics and relationships and moral debate on creative freedom is puritism

I. AM. A. DSMP. FAN. I do not care what you have to say about whatever content creator because I am not their fucking parent. "That guy is problematic" you've been saying that for years I just want to consume the cool art people draw about my funny minecraft men please get off my lawn

I will never shut up about how Cyn is not childcoded and you can't make me

I'm Pro Para btw (Anti-Contact however) and if that bothers you that's also not my problem. It's a disorder don't be a mental health ally if you won't be an ally for people who have "icky" disorders

I suck at intros I know I do but I think this is everything about me that's important so here are some user boxes (more to be added as I go on) and then more information/links under the cut!

Links! (More to be added later)

Spotify playlists I've made X)

[piracytheorist]

Re: this post that I’m not going to reblog just to argue with it and I’m also discouraging you from arguing with it as well. Different strokes for different folks.

First of all, considering it comes from a blog with the name “lesbian” on its url without any obvious homophobic intent to it, I do hope I’m misunderstaning their meaning in the “arranged marriages are successful” because there’s just a lot to unpack when it comes to arranged marriages and I did not expect someone who looks like an open lesbian to say that phrase in a positive manner. I mean, indeed, gοοgle validates their point, but maybe they’re “succesful” because the couple doesn’t have a say whether they can have a divorce or not, just saying.

Second, I feel that another way I identify as aroace is because... nothing in what they say makes any damn sense to me. Like, look. Until I was eighteen, I was never truly long-term surrounded by people that made me feel free to be myself. I was in small schools, so all children were divided into four categories: a) children who bullied me, b) popular children with whom I shared no interests with (and who usually stayed away from me because well, it ain’t cool to befriend the bullied kid), c) children that I could relate to and have a discussion with but they always preferred the company of the popular children, therefore I always had to compromise in order to talk to them, and d) children from older grades, with whom I could only spend time with on recesses and who eventually finished school much earlier than I did.

So, you know. I spent more than half of my school life compromising myself just to have some company, and even when I found some friends I never truly felt comfortable enough to share my deepest thoughts about like, what stories I want to write, and what fictional characters I have huge crushes on... I mean seven whole years of not having friends does tend to make you less comfortable and secure in sharing that stuff, and to think that you’re a weirdo who’s crushing on fictional characters three times your age.

So the thought that... this has to happen in a romantic relationship is... mind-boggling to me. My idea of a romantic relationship is to have a person you have a special, closer bond to, and a physical intimacy you don’t want to share with people who are just friends, even best friends. So to have a person you want all that with, and still having to compromise... Bruh, I’ve spent too long compromising, thinking I was undesirable, thinking I was a freak, thinking I had to fix myself somehow and shut up and agree with everything that was being said. And all that shit just to have someone to chat with on recesses and school trips instead of sitting in a corner by my lonesome, watching all the other friend groups talking and laughing and having fun. You’re telling me I have to choose to do that for my whole life? Thanks but no thanks.

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m aro and I don’t see what’s to be gained from that. I don’t know what it feels like to be romantically connected and intimate with another person, so I can’t tell if it’s worth all the compromise and the effort mentioned in that post.

But still, as someone who doesn’t want that, it makes even more terrifying how society is hell-bent on pushing everyone into a relationship. How the law itself, in most democratic countries, benefit married couples more than people who are single. How there’s aphobia, either for aro or ace people or both, when by definition we’re not doing anything. How people have actual meltdowns when they realize that romantic love is just your brain saying “I like this person’s chemicals”. How people have meltdowns the way the op in the post mentioned. 

And like, okay. Maybe romantic love is worth it for you. And that’s grand, I’m happy for you. But most societies and governments are idealizing this. It’s a final goal, whether you’re in your twenties or your eighties. An ideal partner is something everyone must have. Underneath that though is this compromising, this genuine effort to be a person someone else wants, to actively look for the good parts in someone. And to me, pushing that as the ideal goal to happiness, is fucking disgusting.

Sure, compromising and focusing on the good parts are important abilities to have in life. But they’re not the ideal thing. Societies and governments make romantic love as one of the biggest, most important parts of someone’s life. And maybe we all should think why that is.

TL; DR: I’m not judging people who compromise for a romantic partner. But the fact that having a romantic partner, therefore compromising and spending mental energy and resources for them, is being idealized and pushed so much (even given a wider spectrum in many developed countries, like making gay marriages legal), should put us into thought as to why that is.

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

studies on an asexual haizaki

tw: aphobia (internalised and otherwise); toxic masculinity; (mild) sexual harassment and objectification of women

It starts when Haizaki’s in his first year of middle school, when he’s with his older brother, running errands for their mother (for a change).

“You see that chick over there?” says his older brother, as Haizaki chucks a chocolate bar into the shopping basket (what’s the point in agreeing to buy groceries if you don’t get a little something out of it). “She’s so fucking hot. Man, I’d like to fuck her, cum all over her- Hey, Shougo are you listening?”

Haizaki has been busy deciding whether he should get himself another chocolate bar whilst he’s at it. When his brother elbows him, he glances up at the woman in question - she vaguely looks like his teacher from a while back, with that permanently pissed off expression on her face - and then back down at the chocolate.

“I’m listening,” he replies, blatantly not.

“Guess you’re too young - has puberty not hit you yet?”

His brother’s voice twists into a mocking tone - his laugh is like that of a playground bully’s.

Without thinking, Haizaki snaps, “I’m past puberty. Fuck off. She’s just boring - I see girls like her all the time.”

His brother laughs again, and slaps Shougo’s shoulder.

“If you say so, kid,” he grabs himself a chocolate bar too - now there’s three in the shopping basket, “but, next time you’re chatting with your friends - if you have any, make sure you know how to act. Or else you’ll embarrass yourself. Sex is what being a man is all about.”

The woman looks in their direction. The older Haizaki brother makes a thrusting gesture with his crotch. Her cheeks go an angry red, and she storms off. Judging by his brother’s chuckle, Haizaki presumes that her reaction is a good thing.

That’s the thing about Haizaki Shougo; he’s a good learner, and he’s quick to adapt. Not long after the grocery store event, he gets reported to the headmaster for being overly sexual to the female students (wolf-whistling, straying hands, making ‘jokes’ that are nothing of the sort), and telling one of his female teachers that he’ll only listen in her classes if she strips for him. His mother is furious with him on the way home - he’s been suspended for a few days, and the only reason he hasn’t been expelled is that the headmaster understands that Haizaki’s at an age where his hormones are all over the place.

“’Boys will be boys!’” his mother quotes when they get home, as Haizaki stands awkwardly in the doorway, “all you boys will be is the death of me. Hormones are no excuse for your behaviour!”

Her rant almost convinces him that there’s no real reason to do what he does - his hormones (he worries) are still very much dormant - but, before he can start to contemplate his behaviour, his older brother (who is actually expelled from school - always one step ahead of Haizaki - and is probably going to drop out high school soon anyway) interjects,

“Hey, he’s growing up. You should be praising him - Shougo’s finally becoming a man-“

Their mother then starts yelling at him too, for being such an awful influence, but the diversion of her attention gives Haizaki enough time to disappear up to his room, and lock the door behind him - the way his older brother does when he’s watching porn.

Coincidentally, it’s his older brother who introduced Haizaki to porn too - not directly, but Haizaki saw it on his computer when he was borrowing it to play video games. It’s porn which introduces Haizaki to the thrilling and shivering tension that is getting off. It’s the first thing he thinks of when he gets home, chucking his homework on the growing pile of late sheets and assignments. 

And he’ll watch practically anything, no matter how violent (though he stops short of brown showers; even he can’t get off to that), because, regardless of the content, he gets that feeling of release at the end. And it’s when he cleans up the sticky white liquid that he feels most like a man. Most like his brother.

The tricky part only comes when his brother starts pretending he gives a shit about his younger brother’s life. When he starts asking questions like “any of your classmates sexy?” or “who’s your favourite porn star?” Really, Haizaki doesn’t particularly care about people - he just likes getting off; even the concept of sex doesn’t massively beguile him.

But he can’t tell his older brother that. Instead, he says something about how all pussies look the same - so who cares about the girl attached - and his brother tells him never to say that to a chick, or she’ll slap him, so Haizaki says that “it’s more entertaining when they fight you”, and his brother says “you sick fuck” but laughs, to emphasis that it’s not an insult.

The only problem is that, back at school, people are starting to sleep with one another. Not everyone, but very much Haizaki’s crowd. And that makes Haizaki’s life a little trickier, cause he’s real good at talking about porn, but real bad talking about actual girls, and all he can say is that these girls are nothing like porn stars, so how could he want to fuck any of them? His companions (not many) take that as meaning that Haizaki’s into older women. And he can’t correct them, because otherwise they could get suspicious that he’s gay - and he’s not, but there’s definitely something wrong with his head, since his hormones still haven’t started acting up.

So, just to shut them, he decides he’ll fuck Kise’s girl. (If she’s Kise’s girl, then she’s definitely hot, aka definitely the type of girl he should be fucking).

And they do fuck. They fuck in her bedroom, when her parents are away, but it’s still awkward as shit cause it feels like her teddy bear is staring at Haizaki’s naked body the whole time. So, when Haizaki finally cums, when he yells out ‘fuck’, what he really means is ‘why won’t this bear stop fucking look at me’ and not ‘this pussy is so fucking tight’.

He doesn’t know what he was expecting from sex, but it’s definitely not this.

There’s something so repulsive about her face now, as he’s staring at her from the distance, like his head and his dick are connected to two different bodies.

“We should do this again,” she murmurs, running her hands down his chest.

“Nah,” Haizaki swallows, makes his voice so gravelly and uninterested (like he imagines his brother would, in a similar situation), “you weren’t good enough.”

At school the next day, she starts crying and screaming at him - which solidifies the rumours that he’s a player, and brings him a whole lot of respect from all the guys in his class, because not only does he have sex, but he’s also had so much of it that he doesn’t even care about it anymore.

“It’s just sex, right?” says Haizaki with a cigarette in his lips, in high school later on, “it’s no big deal.”

The first year he’s talking to has his eyes wide, like he’s realising just how big the gap is between himself and his senior - after all, Haizaki would never get embarrassed asking out his crush, and Haizaki would never get a hard on in the middle of a presentation, and Haizaki would never wait for his girl to say that they should ‘make love’. Hell, Haizaki never even uses the phrase ‘make love’; he just says ‘fuck’, like all the other cool guys.

What the first year doesn’t recognise is that Haizaki only doesn’t use the phrase cause he’s convinced that love and sex are worlds apart (if they’re not, then Haizaki will never love someone - and that thought depresses him, even if he pretends it doesn’t). And Haizaki only says ‘fuck’ because that’s the word his older brother used, and all Haizaki wants to be is his older brother.

But the first year better never recognise that, thinks Haizaki, as he lets a girl suck him off (staring at everything but not her face) because then he’ll see Haizaki as Haizaki sees himself: a joke.

[princeanxious]

“Egg-celent” TSS- Patceit

Warnings: Aphobia, sympathetic deceit

I was requested to write this prompt with anyship, i gave it a shot xD , all errors are mine, and i hope ya’ll like it bc it’s almost 1 am for me.

Prompt: “You’re famous and I jokingly left a comment on your social media post asking if you’ll go egg my ex-partner’s house with me this weekend, and I never actually expected you to respond, let alone show up Friday night with dark sweatshirts, toilet paper rolls, and three egg cartons tucked under your arm” AU

Prior/extra info: Patceit AU where Patton is Famous(and has a youtube and uses it for good) and just moved into Dimitri’s hometown, and Dimitri is also a youtuber but a much smaller one, known for amazing stage/costume makeup artistry and the peculiar way that one side of his face is covered in freckles and the fact that his eyes have heterochromia. Patton is also really tall(6’4) and Dimitri is really short(5’2).

———

‘Hey, /PatPuffballSanders, wanna help me go egg my ex’s house this weekend? I’d bet it’d be sp-egg-tacular.’

-posted at 10:23 pm, by /BoopDiSnek

The short makeup artist hadn’t expected things to escalate this far, and well, in all honesty, he hadn’t expected anything to happen at all. Perhaps it was the fact that Patton Sanders was famous, known well for his pretty voice, sneaky puns, dad humor, and growing popularity as a voice actor.

He was a ray of sunshine, and readily used that talent on every social platform he could to make people smile, but primarily on Youtube. The tall puppy of a man had a pun of the day, animal shelter promo of the week, and a monthly charity stream where he’d invite his friends and other youtubers of all kinds to play games and skits and challenges to raise money for all sorts of causes.

The puffball has a moral streak a mile wide, and has a segment for ‘Dad Chats’ in his videos with his viewers about how they should choose go about certain issues, and how their choices and feelings would affect their decisions, among other topics. He wasn’t good at words, but he tries to be the best influence he can, and that much was evident in any of his videos.

Perhaps it was the fact that Dimitri was still heartbroken, his boyfriend dumping him a week ago for someone else after a year and a half of dating. All because he was a ‘killjoy’ for not feeling sexually attracted to the man. It wasn’t even that Dimitri didn’t want it, he just hadn’t felt any of the sort towards his ex yet and didn’t feel the need to fake an act. It hadn’t sat well with his ex-boyfriends ego, apparently, as was evident in their last fight leading towards their breakup.

The words ‘freak’ and ‘prude’ had indeed stung, but not more than ‘unlovable’ had, the sentence burned into the forefront of his thoughts as his ex exclaimed it.

And maybe Dimitri had been a little out of it, typing the sarcastic message through his angry tears.

Even when pressing the post button had sent a jolt of nervousness through him, having tagged his favorite ball of sunshine, he’d never expected a response. It was evident in the comments his followers added to his post, concerned about his full week of silence, that the question had been silly. Patton? Patton Hart Sanders? The Patton Hart Sanders, egging a house? Sure, Patton had just moved into Dimitri’s hometown, but their hometown was big enough that he’d probably never run into the voice actor anyhow. And Patton just wasn’t that kind of person.

In any case, his phone had been left on the charger as he went to make some tea, and had almost spilled it everywhere when he returned 10 minutes later. A single notification from Patton Sanders himself sat, waiting to be read.

‘Now, I don’t know about eggin’ a house, Kiddo, but you sure have got me on the ‘Egg’ of my seat, ‘fryin’ to know whats eating at you. You feeling okay, Di?’’ It was a private message, sent two minutes ago, and Dimitri was barely breathing.

Okay, so maybe Dimitri was pretty gay for Patton, it was a popular type of crush, nothing very real, and that was all. He looked up to the man, definitely. However, there was no way in heaven that Patton Sanders had privately dm’d him. He could scarcely believe it, even after triple checking that this was an official Patton Sanders account. Perhaps it was unprofessional, but Patton seemed genuinely worried and was trying to reach out, and that made Dimitri feel guilty.

“Hey Pat! Don’t worry about it, I was just joking around.” He squinted at the sentence, scrutinizing it for any particular error before sending it, Patton’s response was almost immediate.

“Something tells me you weren’t, but i’ll let it slide for now, kiddo. The question remains, are you feeling okay?”

“Honestly? No, but i will be. Aphobia sucks, though. Some dude my ex turned out to be.”

It took Patton three extra minutes to respond, a hesitance present in his response. “Oh goodness, that sounds bad.. on second thought, that egging his house idea doesn’t sound so mean after all, Di!” Dimitri snorted, gently waving off the others suggestion through another message.

Back and forth they went for another hour, talking about video ideas and plans and possible collab ideas. Perhaps Dimitri was in over his head, he’d never collabed with anyone before, but he wasn’t going to turn Patton's suggestion for a stage makeup challenge for a charity livestream down.

Eventually they both went to bed, and time moved on.

Dimitri picked himself back up and threw himself back into his videos, breaking the silence with a short explanation video followed by his regularly scheduled videos. By the time Friday rolled around, Dimitri had all but forgotten about his question to Patton. Over the course of the week, both of them had gotten closer, talking about their town and suggestions of places to go, and promises to meet up that hopefully would not become empty.

It was mid-afternoon when Dimitri, who was currently mid-edit thankfully and not mid-makeup mode, got a knock on his door. Confused, he wandered to his front door and opened it, peering through his glasses at the outside world.

Well, attempting to peer, as suddenly Dimitri is met with a blue sweater-clad chest and a happy squeal of excitement coming from the man standing at his door. It takes two seconds for Dimitri to blink upwards at the taller man and recognize him as Patton Sanders, it takes Dimitri two more minutes for his brain to catch up with Patton’s excited rambling.

And to catch up with the fact that Patton is hugging him.

He notices Patton has a few things in one arm, most notably, a couple cartons of eggs. He can’t help but crack a smile, completely flabbergasted that Patton actually thought of going through with this.

Dimitri’s thoughts are going wild, and he’s pretty sure he has a headache coming on, but instead of addressing it, he plays it cool and invites the other in and decides to make tea for the both of them.

When Patton pulls out two black sweaters, one turned inside out,along with a mask and some toilet paper, Dimitri can’t hold back his giggles. He misses the way Patton lights up at the sound, and lets Patton know that they really weren’t going to egg his ex’s house. The relief is evident in Patton’s voice, “Thank goodness! I don’t think we’d fair too well in the dark!”

Dimitri can’t help but agree, adjusting his glasses. No, not even his contacts could save him for the depth perception nightmare that was aiming in the dark, plus, they’d easily get caught. Absently, Dimitri moves to hand the inside out sweater back, flipping it right side out now that the dark interior wasn’t needed, only to pause. His eyes caught on the graphic print on the front of the sweater, adjusting it in his hands so he could see it fully. He paused again, squinting at the familiar design.

It held a cute albino snake curled around a small round ornament, blepping contently with the words ‘It cold’ next to her. Under the graphic, the name of the snake was presented in pretty cursive lettering, ‘Nova.’

“Pat.. is this?? My winter merch??” Dimitri could barely hold back his disbelief, glancing up at a flustered Patton. Patton owned the merch of his pet albino python, Nova, and goodness gracious Dimitri needed to sit down.

“In my defence!! Nova is cute!! And she's even cuter when happily curled around you!” Patton huffed, arms crossed as he blushed, though unashamed at his remark. Dimitri’s mind went a hundred different ways at that, before just putting his face in his hands and sighing.

After calming down a bit, he had an idea, and glanced up at Patton who blinked at him nervously, afraid he’d messed up somehow.

“Wanna hold her?” Patton’s bright grin was worth the brief stuttering of Dimitri’s thoughts.

With permission, a picture was taken of Patton with Nova wrapped around his shoulders, captioned ‘Nova found her #1 fan, it seems!’ and posted on both of their social accounts.

And if the media went a little shipping crazy at the two’s meeting, that was fine by them.

(The End?)

I might draw somethink for this but idk yet.)

[ekourege]

The Dragon’s Hoard, a hangout for Aces and Aros [UPDATE]

Hi y’all, this is my second post about my Ace n Aro discord server. The first one quickly became outdated and just for full transparency as well as organizational purposes I’m creating this post!

If y’all have any questions/want clarification about something, please send me an ask! The Dragon’s Hoard is a discord server geared towards creating a welcoming space for Aces and Aros of all kinds so they can talk about their experiences, discuss stuff going on in the community, or just hang out and chat with new people! I noticed there wasn’t a lot of active spaces for Aces and Aros, and that most community interaction was through discourse. And as well all know, having to defend your personhood doesn’t bode well for community building. This is a SFW server - meaning that sexually explicit content should be kept elsewhere. This is to protect people who may not want to be exposed to pornography or anyone who is sex-repulsed.

The server is:

For both Aces and Aros, not just one or the other.

SFW

Mogai-safe

LGBTQ+ friendly (of course!)

Features:

Moderator (and me, because I also have admin perms lol)

Several vent channels

Bots: MEE6, Simple Poll, and Lexa (color bot)

Positivity channel

Advertisement channel

Several voice channels

A discourse channel for discussion of politics, discourse, aphobia, etc.

A pride gallery, where users can post their pride edits, art, or pride art they liked without it getting buried in any of the main channels.

Pride flag emojis

Art channel

Writing channel

Romance only channel

To keep the server safe, I’m employing a safeguard to prevent abuse of the advertisement channel, protect people in the vent channels, as well as mitigate negativity in the discourse channels. When a user first arrives in the server, the advertisement, discourse, and vent channels will be locked. Users will not see them. They will have the role “newbie” (which is more just so I can remember who wasn’t verified yet more than anything else). Then, after three days of being in the server, those users will receive a verification role: Cool Cowboy (might be renamed at some point). Then, the channels will reveal themselves and users will have full access to the server. With that, several channels have a “NSFW” filter over them to protect their privacy and prevent people from seeing any content they may be sensitive to. Channels with filters on them are the vent channels as well as the discourse channel. This also adds another layer of privacy for users in the vent channels.

This server is NOT safe for aphobes, TERFS, truscum, anti-mogai, queerphobes, racists, misogynists, fatphobes, ableists, etc. Bigotry of any kind is not allowed. Anyone who ships adult/child, sibling/sibling, abusive ships, etc, please don’t touch! Bigots, cyberbullies, and gross individuals will be banned. 

Server Link | Server Rules

I’d appreciate anyone who is going to reblog a post with the server link to reblog this one, as it is the most up-to-date version. Thanks!

[insertedgyfangirlname]

Vent post ahead!!!

You don’t need to read this post, I just wanted to have my thoughts written down somewhere in the world and out of my head.

(This post is about my first time coming out to anyone and does contain aphobia, specifically arophobia, so please don’t read if you are sensitive to this!!!!!!!!)

July, 2019 (yes this is very recent). I’m at a mission trip with my church and we have completed all the tasks for the day so everyone is hanging out around the church we are staying at. Some people are downstairs where all of our beds and luggage are but me and my closest group of friends (with some mutuals) decide to stay on the main floor.

We are sitting in some couches that we have arranged into a circle and there are about 5 different conversations going on. Me and my best friend (who for the sake of anonymity we’ll call Sarah) are just talking to each other one on one. There is a pause in the conversation where the thought that nearly every LGBTQ+ kid has enters my head..... should I come out to her?

Sarah knows me really well, so the second that thought comes into my head she notices and asks if I’m ok. There’s a long pause. I tell her that I have something important to tell her. Keep in mind that she had told me that she’s bi only a few weeks ago. After what felt like the most excruciating few seconds of my life, I told her “I’m Asexual!!”. she looks shocked but also understanding. There is a knowing smile on her face and she offers some comforting words. She puts her hand on mine in comfort. “So, who are you romantically attracted to?” are the next words out of her mouth. I wasn’t quite planning on coming out as aromantic as well as asexual but the feeling of acceptance she was giving me gave me the courage to say “Actually, I’m aromantic, so no one”.

The understanding smile on her face is immediately replaced with something else. it takes a couple seconds to pinpoint what it is and this is where things go downhill.

Her face was one of pity. She pitied me for being aromantic. Something I couldn’t control and was perfectly content with being.

SERIOUSLY???!!! THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS??? I’d always heard stories about people being belittled and pitied because they don’t feel romantic attraction but I thought she would be different. She should’ve understood!! She has to understand!

“Oh my gosh! That’s so sad! Don’t you feel lonely? You have no idea what you’re missing out on”. She gave me every line in the aphobic book.

At this point I’m trying to hold it together. My body is shaking from her words and how she felt SORRY for me!!

I quickly explain to her that “No, I don’t feel lonely” and “No, I don’t think I’m missing out”.

Her hand of “comfort” feels like it’s there to console me for losing a loved one instead of saying she accepts me.

I’m not sure she ever realized how hurtful her words were but I do hope that one day she sees the pain she caused in my heart. I had never! ever! told anyone! about my identity and she was PITYING ME FOR IT!!

We continue the night with me feeling like crap and her probably thinking she was completely supportive. I end up telling one of my other friends (his name can be Jack for the story) about my aroace identity and he just said “Oh, ok. That’s cool. That means you don’t like anyone, right?” “Right” “Alright, cool.” and with that he resumed his conversation with some of our other friends. We almost told one more of my friends but he was saying some very homophobic things so we didn’t. A few minutes later, Sarah says she was heading to bed early.

I’m sitting there stewing in my thoughts and how I was probably never going to come out to anyone else. So far I’d had one negative reaction and one indifferent reaction. Not great.

One of the freshman girls (I’m a sophomore so I didn’t know her) who was on Jack’s team and kinda knew him was sitting on the couch next to mine. She had obviously overheard me and my friend’s talk because she called out the words that were probably what stopped me from never talking about my orientation and pretending I had made it up.

“I’m asexual too”.

I was snapped out of my thoughts of unintentional rejection. I stared at her in shock because A. I didn’t know her and she just straight up came out to me and B. she had said it loudly and everyone else in the circle momentarily glanced at us but ultimately ignored it.

She moved over to the couch I was sitting and we started talking. I learned her name was, for the story, Jenna. She was (and still is) asexual and biromantic. We quickly ended up bonding over other things we had in common (like P!ATD, MCR, Umbrella Academy, etc.) but the conversation remained mostly on us being ace.

Turns out Jenna had been rejected by people in the same way that I just was. She also talked about how she thought that what my other friend had said was wrong and that I was valid, aromantic or not.

Her openness and willingness to share made my confidence shoot back up. My pride was back.

I’ve only come out to two other people in my life since then (I know, soOoOoOo many). One (her name can be Lily) had just told me she was a lesbian earlier that day and was talking about how much she hated aphobia and how they should be allowed to live how they want and don’t need romance or sex. I told her that I was aroace pretty quickly after that.

At a party where I knew no one, there was a mutual friend that I was chatting who slipped she was pan accidentally. She had a brief moment of freak out but I told her I was cool with it and would keep it secret since I knew how it felt. I never talked to her after that.

I’m still friends with Sarah, Jenna, Jack, Lily, and even that one homophobic kid (but he’s changed a lot since then and is much more accepting towards LGBT people).

The reason I’m posting this is because 1. It is important that people realize how hurtful they can be with aphobia and 2. my mind has been torturing me with that moment all week.

I never fully recovered from Sarah’s words and they are often a source of doubt for me.

She still pulls that same pitying face when my aromanticism comes up in conversation and I try to ignore it but my heart breaks more each time.

All I want to say is that aphobia sucks. Jenna has gotten threats about correctional rape and one guy even tried to follow through on it. I’ve had guys try and forcefully kiss me since I had told them I don’t like boys.

It’s things like this that makes me so mad that people are trying to block aces and aros out of the community.

we are real and our pain is real

alright. I’m finished.

[rytfujgkuhhgmjgh]

I’m an asexual girl who is questioning who she’s romantically attracted to. At first this site was a way for me to feel accepted, knowing I’m not alone and getting reminders that I’m valid. But then I get hit with this hellsite’s discourse and it tears me apart. I cry every time I see a lgbt+ person tell me I’m ‘broken’ or that my sexuality isn’t real. It hurts me so much and I don’t know what to do.

first of all, you’re not broken at all. i would recommend seeking comfort from someone or something healthy in your life — whether that’s taking a bath or talking to a close friend or petting an animal. getting super involved in something helps me get my mind off of horrible things. it’s super easy to get trapped in a cycle and throwing myself into my work (work that i enjoy like sewing!) really helps me. even just taking a walk outside if you can and getting away from all this can be super useful, i’ve used it to deal with my depression and it genuinely works.

i totally know what you’re talking about — occasionally i see really gross biphobia and get really indignant. the problem is that this website has somehow decided that aphobia is acceptable, which is [justin mcelroy voice] buck-wild to me, and you have a lot of popular bloggers thinking that it’s ~cool~ to be complete assholes and that anyone who’s ace is cringe-worthy which is incredibly disgusting.

(i won’t get into it too much but my stance on the matter is that ace people are lgbt+, but even if you believe that they aren’t you shouldn’t hate on ace people because you’re including the people that you would otherwise view as part of the community because of their romantic attraction)

anyway, that’s all bullshit, that system of thinking. what helps me often is to surround myself with mutuals who share my points of view. a few of my mutuals don’t believe that “het” (i really hate that term but anyway) ace people belong in the lgbt+ community, but they don’t shit on ace people because of it. or if you are a bit socially awkward and don’t want to bother people about it, i would recommend finding blogs that are pro-ace (preferably without the discourse as you don’t want stuff to bring you down) or, even better, look at real world examples of lgbt+ people accepting ace people. 

(honesty, half the stuff that aphobes say on here about ace people ~tearing the community apart~ is so ridiculously laughable to me because i’ve literally never seen someone do that in real life, but anyway)

a few of my bffs are ace ( @bruce-greenwood & @chaveztodds & others ) so if you want to talk to someone else who is ace i’m sure that they’ll be happy to chat!

and here is a cute gif for your troubles:

[kyberled]

☠

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Okay, so I have a hard time insta-unfollowing anyone (I usually go by the baseball theory of “three strikes you’re out” (though it’s usually two for me), but if you do any of the following, you’re done:

Blatant racism, sexism, cissexism, aphobia, or any sort of discrimination. I don’t deal with that. Just to be clear, I’m (relatively) fine with this being an IC thing. Some muses are jerks, I get that, especially villains. A lot of villains (Like Mi/tho/s from T/o/S) are evil BECAUSE, at least in part, they have prejudices. Some characters do problematic things with the intent of causing problems, cause, hey, that’s how stories progress. If it’s tagged properly and the mun acknowledges that it’s wrong, great, more power to ‘em, I hope they have a lovely day. If it’s the mun making comments like that, or excusing their muse for that behaviour (eg ‘I don’t think it’s wrong that my character treats [x group] as inferior’ or ‘i have no problem with the comments my character makes, even if it’s offensive to [x group] and they need to deal with it’), then I have problems. So, example, someone plays a Ka/mi/no/an character who treats clones like property. Tagged properly? Cool. Mun treats real poc (esp in this case Maori) like dirt. Not cool. Even in the case of characters, it depends on how the mun handles it - Like, I’ve accidentally misgendered muses before, I’ve said ridiculous shit, we all have, we’re all human, but if someone comes to you politely and says something you did or said hurt or upset them, and you respond rudely and brush them aside, then, you’re probably not someone I want to pal around with.

Reblogging a huge amount of OOC content, especially if it’s untagged. I don’t mean headcanons or chatting with people via replies and answering asks and all that, I mean posting things that have nothing to do with your muse or your blog - for example, a s/w roleplay blog that posts huge amounts of un/der/tale and hockey and anime because that’s what the mun’s into - basically, treating your rp blog like a personal. If I unfollow a person for this, it’s nothing personal or against you - I just like keeping my dash clean and organised. I’ll probably still be down to interact/write with you/be buds, it’s just that cluttered dashes stress me out.

Vagueposting. Speaking of stressing me out, this is a good way to do it. I dunno why, but someone I’ve never met, interacted with, or spoken to could be like ‘don’t you hate it when your friends abandon you over little things’ and my brain will go ‘hey think they’re talking about you’ and I’ll go ‘aw heck probably’ and. Again, I don’t know why this happens, my brain’s a Mr. Noodles-fuelled mess, but it does happen. If it’s only a now-and-again type deal, I can handle it, but if it’s an every-day, especially multiple-times-a-day, thing, then, sorry, but that’s too much for me. At the very least, Don’t be a Drag, Tag Your Vague™.

Untagged Posts in General. Again, this is more of a comfort thing than anything else, but if I can’t sift through your posts or avoid things that squick me out, then I’m not gonna stick around.

If I find out you send hate, anon or not.

If you pressure me into doing something I’m not comfortable with or spam me into answering something.

Guilt-tripping in general

Basically what I’m getting at is don’t be a jerk and we’ll be friends probably