#anywho its not like i dont have work anymore its more just that i cant bring myself to do it anymore
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bro i am so tired of working i just want to hug my boyfriend
#its still weird that i have a boyfriend yes#but like ahhhh#i worked for like 2 weeks straight on a paper/other work (like from waking to going to bed)#and as soon as im done he has to write his thesis?!?!#and he has mono...#god hates us#anywho its not like i dont have work anymore its more just that i cant bring myself to do it anymore#:/
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Emo vent lad ForShittening study
#dont want to practice and do studies? well i have good news for u .its like that Simpson's meme#Art Studies can be converted into F*rd*K*l* pieces and works#In an excruciating amount of pain. Pain progressive. Head obsessive. Outlet Compressive. (i got bars)#I just dont have a will to live bruv#I come from a long line of lighthouse keepers. 🎵It's bright. But very lonely insiiiiide.🎶#After four straight days of wake. I BEGIN TO HALLUCINATE. I see you feeding me blueberry pieee~🎵#Actually. its not that i dont like doing studies. i do. its so much more enjoyable actually rather than free drawing for the most part.#for me anyways.(bc im a bad artist with no skill who overcompensates by overrendering anywho)#but im just. in a lot of pain. so. emo boy only. in so much pain. convinced im actually dying. pain. shoulder keeps seizing and its killing#me. cant take the pain anymore. everythings swollen. want to die. want to die cant take it. cant fucking take it anymore.#when im in extreme EXTREME pain i only want to draw u my Vent Heathen. bear the pain alongside me. i feel less alone.#simply by imagining this bastard. Have you seen this man? well now you have. and im sorry for your loss.#everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts everything hurts#wah wah wah eah eah im a crying baby wah wah wahwhawhah goo goo gah gah gah gah goo goo hands are twitching shoulders seizing collar is#aching scapula is burning biceps are swelling#want to die flesh is deteriorating. im dying everything hurts. neck is tendering. its so bad its so bad rn its never gonna get better i#want to DIIIIEEEE#AHHHH#also. i see your 'my art looks like shit when i flip the canvas' and raise to you my version: 'my art looks BETTER when i flip the canvas#sometimes and thats unfortunate bc i very clearly drew this flipped as i dont part his hair on that side and his aquamarine earring is#usually reserved for his left ear ahhhh!!!!!! but. since both those things are subject to change. i let it slide bc it looked better flippe#ooga booga. oh well. doesnt matter. nothing does. dont care. i dont care i :(#botdbs#fk#me on my vent shit#oh and i could leave it flipped too bc he dont got his frrs scar. yet.#but trust me. one day. Diseased man.#'i only dwaw my emo wighthouwse boi when im in extreme pain and hopewess uwu' *Draws literally nothing else but my emo lighthouse boy*#perpetual cries for help. what can u do. if i draw emo and concerning shit thru green haired man itll look like im not serious about it lol#I'm not like other girls. I started graying in my late teens.
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hot tub sex wit ony ? drabble ?? oneshot ?? this longer than i thought it wld be i just cant stop talkin... its 11 am bruh
its soooo obvious that im more into a soft sex kinda vibe, always or rough sex written in the most gentle and soft way possible 🙈
so i cant help but constantly imagine hot tub sex wit ony. in my head at the start of the relationship he constantly gravitates towards our apartment. in his mind he felt it was safer for his partners always, not wanting you to feel yk at danger in a man's house despite how safe he made you feel BUT ofc you have a jacuzzi.
in this universe, like in my head, i imagine both ony and reader have jobs in the medical feild likkee maybe ony is a surgeon and reader is a private psychiatrist who sometimes picks up shifts at the hospital onyankopon works at ???
ANYWHO becuzz of this they sometimes work hard ass shifts, whether theyre long or short, its hard as fuckk and they come home tired. ony gets home first, maybe an hour earlier and he has a key card to your apartment so he can let himself in, feeds your pets and relaxes on the couch, thinking of if he should make you two dinner or order sumn.
then he thinks of the jacuzzi, a nice relaxing hot soak after a hard shift is all he needs so he stops petting your cat or roughhousing with the dog and orders sushi, grabbing a drink of his choice whether it be wine, a light alcohol or sum shit for yall to sip when the sushi comes.
i think you get home not long after the sushi is delivered. maybe 10 minutes later and its still fresh and warm OUU shit i need sum sushi rn 😭 and ony fine ass is in some black swim shorts with the sushi all out on a platter wit the sauces on it, and hes got his feet in the water while he jus sits on the side of the jacuzzi and calls out to let yk where he is
you take a quick rinse off before donning a bikini, a black one to match his b4 putting up your braids and joining him on the edge wit a kiss. i like to think ony loooves kissing. he loves stimulatin his mouth n his lips. its a long, soft kiss and u cant help but lean into each other its like ugghh at last i can relax and let my gaurd down and just be vulnerable after being in this big position at work yk? 🤭
so you share several long kissing before both getting waist deep into the hot tub, letting the bubbling heated fun engulf you both as you down pieces of sushi, feeding each other while staying connected at the hip. i think he cant help but put his hands on u, always letting it rest on ur hip. sometimes i tink he jus likes to be touching you at all times its like a safety thing, sometimes jus resting his hand on your shoulder, ankle, tummy, dont matterrr he wants to kno ur there.
its only a matter of time before talking about each others day becomes nothing more than a whisper of a conversation. and ur eyes cant leave each others lips... necks, chests... and then ur kissin again :) hehee and kissin all over each other so tenderly and meek.
just then hes slipping his hands under ur peachy squishy ass n lifting u to the edge of the tub, kickin ur feet in the air and he sees ur toes are done. pretty pink polish with a baby pink french tip, and baby pink flower designs dancing across a few toes ... hes not one to have a raging foot fetish but it entices him,,, sooo he puts ur toes in his mouth and it tickles a bit ! but feeling his hot tongue caress ur little toes carelessly makes u feel all warm, especially ur cheeks.
eeeeek and then he jus cant help but continue to lick , suck n kiss all about your ankle, i imagine ur gold/silver lil anklet has his name awn it cuz he doesnt want u to tattoo his name :<< , but his lips smooth there way up to your inner thighs and hes pullin ur panties to the side so his thick lips can sink into ur thick lips as he slowly jus... makes out wit ur cunt idk if i can even call it 'eating out' anymore, hes in luv with ur pussy. obsessed wit the way u smell down there actually. fuck a roses and flowers smell bitch he is stealin yo panties after a LONG day at work tf 😭 he jus like me fr ok ok.
i jus luv a soft sex moment, his tongue mixes wit u sooo well and ur whines are of no use to him cuz he's havin fun and everythings jus so... slow and relaxed. ur grindin up into his face slow too cuz what else can u do but relax and just let your man do his thing. hes laying his upper body into you, drinkin ur squirt when u cum and mushin his face all in ur cream when u do orgasm, its long and drawn out and so. good.
then he pulls u back in the water wit him, slippin his dick in u fluidly, connecting u both and honestly yall sit there for a good minute. just basking in each others immaculate warmth. the fuck is dragging , sloww and aching but neither of u care to move faster. ur holdin the edge of the tub and hes holdin ur legs up to your shoulders , usin each other as leverage to fuck into the other slow and deep. low moans r harmonizing wit each other and its just... perfect :(
all thruought the fuck n i cannawwt stress this enuf he is kissin on u , he cant help it. he revels in kissin all over ur face and lips even if ur too far gone to kiss him back , kissin on ur neck and ur tits that are all squished together cuz of the position annnnd kissin on ur thighs and ur legss as theyre so far up he can reach em wit his mouth. he presses kisses on ur head too . u deserve it :(( ohh u deserve it so bad and its moments like these that i luv always.
even when u guys cum , ur lips are locked and ur swallowing each others moans, and breathin hot in each others mouths when ur done.
why is this so long notice how i cant shut tf up ab soft sex ???? bye yall !
#﹒﹒﹒💗 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦: 𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢 💌 𓂃 !#aot onyankopon#onyankopon snk#onyankopon smut#onyankopon x reader#onyankopon#ony x reader#onyankopon x black y/n#onyankopon x black reader#worrdd vomit!#aot smut#attack on titan#aot x reader#aot x black reader#black coded characters#onyankopon headcannon
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luca was serving more for me this season than carmy was and frankly, as much as it hurts my sydcarmy heart to say this, i would fine if luca and sydney ended up together
obviously i'm still holding out for sydcarmy but i genuinely don't know what storer has in store (haha pun intended) anymore considering the way he framed their relationship
but idk, what are your thoughts?
Ohhhhhhh anon - DO I HAVE THOUGHTS FOR YOU!!! Luca became the LOML this season, He is so calm and - what was that BS that Carmy said about Claire? Ohhh yes!! LUCA is Peace :))) As well as Marcus, I would love to be friends with Marcus. He is WAY too well adjusted for that kitchen thats for sure.
I am holding out for SydCarmy until the show is literally over because this season feels like it could be one of a few things more btc
A: (most likely what happened) This show was never meant to be a romance. But, after S1- and all the fans being like 'wow, idk if its just the actors butttt...Syd&Carmy are cute! And would be a great couple!!' and in the writers room , Chris said- that is it. This is endgame for the show, we will work it in to the 3 seasons we already have outlined. So come season 2 , sydcarmy is ITTTT it is it. Like - we all know this, sydcarmy is IT, everyone goes NUTS and loves it and Storer wasnt ready to see just how much we pay attention to the symbolism that isnt blatant (since with basically any other show out there people dont look as deep into it for symbology as the bear fans do because storer films it a certain way it attracts a certain crowd) - he got mad. he literally got mad that we figured him out. so like a baby he went "NO. WWWAAAHHH I WANTED IT TO BE A SUPRISE LIKE IT WAS MY IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE!" and shit all over it. Hm. Someone who has something great going for them, and then as soon as it starts actually going great - they SHIT ON IT AND RUIN IT FOR THEMSELF who does this sound like? Someone I think they go by...bear?
B: Second most likely, WILLFUL MISDIRECTION!!!! This was supposed to happen. I kinda knew things would get worse before they got better, but I didn't know THAT much worse. The more I think about it, Carmy wasnt OOC this season - EVERYONE ELSE WAS except for maybe Marcus? Which is CRAZY because the only one that SHOULD be OOC right now IS MARCUS BECAUSE HIS MOTHER DIED!!!! Carmy is turning into his old boss. Point blank period. So his behavior if anything is a tad bit tame. The smoking thing was out of left field I'm still trying to understand that one, but yea. This was purposeful misdirection, because syd needs to be broken down so she can realize why she really isnt leaving (hint- she feels something for carmy past platonic) carmy is still trying to romantisize claire in his head which is why were always seeing them make out. his family keeps bugging him about it and telling him that he needs to be with her so hes trying to make himself see it (he cant he tried in the freezer and can't see her that way.)
C: (least likely) they have 0 idea what theyre doing. sydcarmy isnt romantic, every writer in that room is on drugs or simply stupid, and claire and carmy are somehow meant to be????? when he literally doesnt like her and its so clear.
anywho im going down with this ship. i prefer my blue lotus fic storyline where carmy goes to therapy before this point and doesn't spiral and ruin everything :))) and admits his feelings to syd!!!
#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#carmy x syd#carmen x sydney#the bear#sydney the bear#carmy x sydney
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Just talking into the void at this point 😅 Anyone, if you see and want to talk, cool, but also feel free to ignore this post, I just need to vent a little.
To no one person in particular... sometimes 8 just cant stand people. I have had my project car for a little over a year and a half now, got it like May 2022. I was told by everyone that they coukd and would help me get it on the road, otherwise I would never have touched something so outside of my ability. Fast forward to now, Ocotber 2023. I have gotten about 2 things done to the car out of the probably like 50 things that need to be done before it is on the road again. About 3 weeks ago I finally got a confirmed "everyone is out" basically so here I am, no help, and an unfinished car. No problem, its all on me, fine. Then its time for everyone to PISS OFF. No advice, no suggestions, no 2 cents, you all had your chance, so get out of the fuckin' way.
I call around, talk to a few shops, find one I feel comfy with that has a guy over 50 who knows about older cars. Not some young 22 year old saying "I can look at your 1967 car!" 🙄 No junior, I am good, I will go with the mechanic who used to work on these when they started in the industry. Tenatively set up an appointment to drop off the car and have them give it a once over and tell me what it will take to be DRIVEABLE. I wanted to take the week and think about a few things and make a list of the issues I knew of with the car before saying a final "yes" to getting it looked at. (There is a post buried on my blog with a little more info on the car if curious. It does have some tags like 1967 dodge etc, I think?)
Anywho, here is where I make my mistake. I start to mention on Monday and Tuesday, in passing, to 2 of the people (the ones who were supposed to help me) about finally making progress with the car and bringing it to a shop. Friday I called and confirmed the appointment, hammer dropped. Car will go there, Tag, you are it, tell me what I need to get it running when I drop it off. Hand clap, I am done. Ahhh, bliss... Now, all weekend, everyone is texting me again offering advice (something I asked for and was basically given 🤷♂️ as the answer from everyone before they bowed out) and telling me what shop to bring it to, or "let me call so and so and see if they have any ideas" or "you really should do this BEFORE you get the car running as it could damage the engine if not" 😑😶 . . . Like what the F U C K. SERIOUSLY? 😶 Now, now, NOW is when everyone crawls out of the wood work and wants to second guess things that I had discussed, in detail with them, for them only now to say there is a possible problem with the order of things I was trying to get the work done in?? 😵💫🤯🥴 I was basically seething when the last person I clearly told "dont call anyone, I am all set, I do not need to owe anyone any favors or anything. I am good. Dont worry about it" That donkey told me today "oh, I reached out to that guy who doesnt do this any more, that you told me to leave alone, and I told him you asked me to reach out to him to see if he would be interested in helping." Literally do the thing he always tells eveyone he doesnt do anymore cuz it is a pain and he doesnt want to? Wow, thanks... after I told you NOT to? Sweet...
So, yeah, kinda bullshit at everyone who told me they were done with helping but now has all kinds of advice and shit. Piss off, donkeys, I really cant wait to have this beast on the road and just drive by knowing the only thing they all did was slow me down from driving her sooner. And to smash the gas and light up the tires while they sit their with their kids in the family minivans. 🖕🏻
Ok, I am doing ranting into the void. At least for this matter.
Again, not really looking for nor expecting comments or whatever. Just needed to vent
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PART 2 FELLOW M.I.D ENJOYERS LETS GO,
Immediating dropping in-
LEIF;
*clears throat*
Now, i.. don't know what that green... shirtless sleeve styled jacket?? He's wearing? Is? I think?
The closest thing i can think of (and remember) are;
These, known as Kotes.
"These sleeves are usually of textile material, often silk brocade, padded, laced with the small cords upon the inside of the arm and covered with mail, small metal plates of various size and shape, or quilting having small plates of metal or hide sewn inside each quilt. Gauntlets (tekko), or covers of metal plates for the back of the hand, are attached to the kote." - taken from Wikipedia. Because i didn't know to explain them.
Another example is what ashitaka from princess mononoke wears;
I dont know if there is a article of clothing more to what Leif Wears in Chinese traditional fashion. My knowledge is primarily of Japanese fashion and culture.
So if anyone knows, pls do share it would be greatly appreciated!
Moving on, with not much else to say in this part;
My thoughts & Opinions on Leif's Design;
Leif. Oh.. Leif.
What the Daemos are you wearing. Huh??
Fun fact: i almost thought he was wearing a BODYSUIT until that one episode that shall not be named where it revealed NO thats a shirt that EVERY OTHER boy has. (We'll talk about this-)
What is the point of the rag wrapped around his hips with a random yellow rope?
It's not even kumihimo which are japanese braided rope... Which "The most prominent historical use of kumihimo was by samurai, as a functional and decorative way to lace their lamellar armour and their horses' armor (barding). Kumihimo cords are now used as ties on haori jackets and as obijime, used to hold some obi knots in place or to decorate the obi when wearing kimono." - taken from wikipedia. Because i ALSO, didn't know to explain.
But anyway, the only purpose that cloth has is an attempt to balance the colors out of his design. It serves no other use.
Any idea on how they COULD'VE avoided that is take inspiration from Sangos demon hunter Outfit (from Inuyasha!) (Still a bit non functional but its a better option!)
How do you make images smaller 😭😭😭 im so sorry the images are so big.
Additionally the brown belts he has is to JUST break up blank space on his torso. They serve no functional purpose. And personally they aren't or don't even look COOL. Which Leif seems to be intended to be considering his personality and the others xharacter types.
*sigh* Anywho,
I would rate Leif 3/10.
He's like Pierce, for me. Theres... something. Something that wasn't executed well or at all. But he does have something. And he does still manage to convey a assassin vibe...
Despite him, well, supposedly not an assassin anymore? And instead a KNIGHT?
Ofc ofc, he may still technically be an assassin working AS a knight... but you would think he would still try to dress more like a knight of atleast stealth, no?
Moving on once again;
Rhys;
He does not have any japanse inspiration. He is mostly fantasy inspiration.
And im jumping right into my thoughts and opinions on Rhys's design;
I'll give him 3/10.
So anyway, getting into it. HIS COAT. HIS GOSH DARN DIDDILY DANG COAT
which is ALSO, (along with his belt) point of interest in his design.
But his COAT ITSELF IS ALSO AN ISSUE!!
TH E P ATTE R NS.
They are complicated and NOT RE-APLICABLE-FRIENDLY. And their non-sense...
I mean by nonsense by what are they supposed to... mean? Look like? Are they supposed to look like MAGIC because he's a WIZARD?
Though his magic is ice. He has ice magic.
But thats alright to not have ice inspired patterns, i don't think you need youre outfit to fit your element. Only that it fits FUNCTIONALLY with your magic.
Actually.
His lower coat patterns don't even match his SLEEVES PATTERNS. WhAT.
???? WHY, are they there when it DOESN'T MATCH. And no THEY cant be the ones to be replaced, for THEY are what help BRING the interest to the coat!!!
Seriously. You didn't even needed to just replicate the pattern completely... you could've made the lower coats pattern GOLD and it would fit better!
Though the gold on THAT blue would look a bit off (if not done right) but still. The pattern on the lower half didn't even needed to be a line. But just. Oh idk how to explain. They needed that rough or sharpness to them. Like perhaps the patterns on ALL the other boys....
I mean. Hey, I guess they help kinda make him MORE not fit the boys in the group?
Seriously, atleast they all fit in with eachother but despite rhys having his belt and AND THE SAME SHIRT THEY ALL WEAR. He still doesn't feel like he fits in with the rest.
His coat is WAY to Dnd Fantasy unlike the rest of them.
His belt is his true saving grace at this point.
But you know another suggestion?
Corset. (But would that fit daemos fash- RHYS'S COAT. Give some corset belts to the other for some additional flare. There you go. And it would fit his leather arm-braces. And they could be used as they know how to make close-fitting leather clothing- which means CORSET!)
And what about THE RED i ADORE that he has? Belt ontop of the corset. Rope now ONTOP of the coat instead.
That would be something. The lower half doesn't even need that much anymore. Maybe golden trim here and some light blue lines there, but vya~la. IT WOULD ALSO HELP BRING MORE ATTENTION TO HIS NECKLACE. Cause it would LESSEN THE BLUE, and therefore, Necklace gets to have its moment~✨️
Additionally you could make his collar have the same pattern as the sleeves. Oh but the dark blue contrast against his black shirt?
We'll get to that.
But finally now, last but not least;
Asch;
No additional notes about inspiration, lets go. My thoughts and opinions on Asch's Design;
Tumblr dont kill me
ASCH. Hahaha.... oh Asch.
For the people who have or haven't read read my thoughts on m.i.d... yes. Once again my least favorite~🫶💜✨️
1 point. One singular point.
His fur+cloak.
Thank you for coming to my esssa- i jest i jest...
Seriously... how the hell am i supposed to think he's a ROYAL with his karen haircut and cloak/fur. Hm?
Rhal, his older brother, A SIDE CHARACTER. Is MORE DETAILED and more believable to be a prince (despite HIM being the type of person to wear what ASCH wears!! (Albeit his main outfit is absolutely most likely forced upon but we have a alternate outfit that LOOKS BETTER and does give off a barbarian prince vibe-) Than ASCH, THE LEADER OF THE BOYS, AND ONE OF THE PROTAGONISTS???
Btw here's some Rhal References;
Rhys might be worse in not fitting with the rest (that design theme should belong to noi, his outfit should feel more not of style as the others (but still believeble) due to being outcast from daemos society, instead. sERIOUSLY, RHYS GIVES ME MORE ROYAL VIBES THAN ASCH. (maybe thats because hes more favored by Lady Grandma))
But Asch?? a Prince? NOT fitting in as a pri- SIR YOU ARE TWO POSITIONS AWAY FROM BEING TOP OF THE SOCIAL PYRAMID. YOU HAVE EXPECTIONS ON YOUR SHOULDERS. IT DOESN'T MATTER YOUR A SECOND-BORN PRINCE-- WHO HAS SHOWN HIMSELF AS SOMEONE WHO IS SO ATTACHED TO HIS IDENTITY AS A PRINCE he uses against people? Or flaunts it in plenty of ways? I WOULD THINK, HE WOULD DRESS LIKE ONE!
*clears throat* Sorry about that a screecher must've gotten caught in my throat.
Bit seriously. Fashion is VERY CRUCIAL to a characters design. The way they dress and STYLE their outfit says so much about their job, lifestyle, personality, so much.
Every boy from the group ALSO suffers from this, especially Pierce and Noi.
The only thing that gives me MAYBE an idea on the royalty vibe is fur+cloak.
Oh. And the armlet, but i dont really count it for what should be there.. or well, what every single boy should be wearing;
ARMOR.
With a society like theres, there is NO WAY they wouldn't wear armor. Not even in their own castle! They absolutely would be wearing ATLEAST hidden under-armor.
Seriously. NO ONE is REALLY wearing armor. And im going to be BRUTALLY honest:
the armor they have?? ...oh Pierces armbrace? Rhals shoulder pads? Rhys leather arm braces?
Oh the random metal plates placed haphazardly on atleast somewhere on their arms.
No, they do not count.
They need ACTUal, Armor. Full plate or leather armor. Or even a mixture!!
Rhys wouldn't need metal armor it wouldn't suit his character or position, but he would need underarmor. (Another idea is he could use his ice AS armor. Like, Ice manipulation to make ice armor! Not the best but its SOMETHING. And the underarmor would still be needed for just more additional protection but also tempature, keep warmth!)
Leif could get away with a MIxTURE of armor types. Still have protective armor that could additionally help give a knight-like vibe while still being stealthy. Additionally he could have that armor special made to be easy to remove in case he needs to go emergency assassin mode or smthin.
Noi, Pierce and Asch are the ones who NEED to have plate armor.
Pierce is an ex-soldier/general but now a non-specialized knight. He would full palte armor.
Noi is the lowest rank but a non-specialized knight. He would wear armor. And if he cant wear metal because of his electric magic. Then consider special armor for him. Or do just go with just leather armor and underarmor.
Asch. Prince. Definitely Armor.
No it doesn't matter if he's supposed to be sooo strong he dont need no armor. He needs armor. Rhal needs armor. Their FATHER needs armor. Rhals excuse is his personality and Dumbness.
Yes, a huge reason why they lack so many points for all of them was connected to their armor. Its a VERY crucial thing considering their society and world!
Oh, another point about their designs;
STOP, STOPPIT, STOP NO, NOOOOO!!!
THE SIN OF SAME SHIRT.
That is one of THE WORST design decisions you can MAKE if there is no reason for SUCH REPITITION!
Its not uniform. Its NOT UNDERARMOR.
Its a simple black sleeveless turtleneck!!
That one thing alone is what makes the character designer in me WEEP.
And even IF it was apart of uniform there's still ways of STYLING IT to make it more unique to each character HAH!
If underarmor not just change of color but PATTERN. What if they're so prideful they embroider designs into places where the armor has been stabbed or slashed through??? Like lookie here, I SURVIVED THIS! Additionally scars would be a GOOD thing. Something to be proud of. You survived this scar. You're still here. You are strong for surviving what has scarred you so!
Moving onto the last point about their designs;
Another (but less bad of a case) repetition sin. A pattern or tattoo on the SAME SHOULDER across THREE characters.
I bet some of you didn't even know noi had a pattern on his shoulder. It took me awhile to find that out.
About tattoos; a tattoo is a permanent alteration to your body (they dont have tattoo removals here on daemos.) And, when anyone gets a tattoo. Theres a meaning behind it. Theres a meaning why.
Why does pierce have one? Why does Asch?
Is Asch's tattoo connected to being a royal or he think it would be cool? Or that design as a tattto to be cool?
And i don't quite deem pierce as one to get a tattoo. So why did he get his?
Was it by choice?
Was he forced to?
But anyway, the tattoos seem to be more for filling up space rather than any genuine reason for it.
But noi didnt need his pattern on his shoulder. The slit in his sleeve with the threads keeping it together stylish seems enough. So??
Idk, im so worn out.
And whoops, i WILL be making a part 3!
Final part though. So. See you there if you decide to check that one out!
Have a good a day/noon/night for now.
*Kicks Down Door*
it's me, ya boi, Load.
And I have some things to say.
But i want to mention @-thevyladsafespace for their post;
^^^ this one ^^^
Where they asked what the inspiration(s) was for the boys' outfits. Having a few guesses of their outfits being inspired by chinese/japanese fashion or dnd/generic fantasy style of fashion.
And, in my opinion, yes!
But... also no.
Lemme explain, But first;
I want to talk about their Daemos outfits. And my thoughts/opinions on the...
Starting with their Daemos Outfits;
And starting with
Noi;
who i actually i think his outfit fits Japanese Inspiration the most!
(Before i explain, i want to say i am not from japan or have visited, nor am i an expert, but i have watched MANY videos about japanese culture from LetsaskShogo on youtube! I highly recommend checking him out. He goes into everything about japan, its history, its culture, its fashion, Noh thearte, tea ceremonies, everything!) (Japanese culture is a special interest of mine, ahah)
His left side of his shirt is over his right side, which japanese traditional kimono style of clothing MUST have! (Wearing the left over right is a MUST in their culture, for only the dead or non-living wear the RIGHT side over the LEFT. It therefore symbolizes death.)
The closest reference for his shirt i can find rn is this one; (which if i remember right are called dogi!)
Additionally,
Useing this image as reference;
His pants are very similar to a style/type of Hakama pants (unfortunately, i have forgotten the name of them. I think a name for them was Karusan, but i may be wrong!!)
Image reference of the pants im talking about;
(They were worn by 'samurai' or otherwise japanese soldiers as a better alternative to hakama due to the pants better ease of movement and more suitability armor.)
Other than that though, he doesn't wear anything else that is SIMILAR to traditional japanese fashion.
Onto my opinions and thoughts about his design;
I love Noi's design the most. He is the most well designed out of the boys'. If i were to change his design, i would keep most of it.
He's an 8/10 for me.
Deducted points because WHY? WHY WITH HIS ARM. Omg. no... No. No!! his design literally would've been perfectly okay IF HIS ARM. WASNT-
give him his sleeve back pls... why was it taken away? What crimes did it commit?? Was color contrast against the armor wanted so badly ThEy TOOK AWAY HIS SLEEVE?? That's worse!! That's worse than just leaving his sleeve alone 😭😭😭
In fact, it would look BETTER if the sleeve was kept unyoinked!!
I apologize for how harsh i may sound. But i can't. I just can't.
Moving onto
Pierce;
My second favorite character~
I believe he is the second closest to having most Japanese inspiration.
With his utterly blue coat, that is the main point of interest in his design... that does look a lot like a kimono.
But i sure hope it isn't because the way he's wearing it makes me want to go
"DISHONER ON YOU!! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!"
- (mulan/mushu reference)
And that what he SHOULD be wearing would be similar to a Haori-jacket
Which what it looks like;
(The Haori is a traditional japanese hip or thigh length jacket that is typically worn over a kimono.)
His coat is, however, a Kimono's length. (Maybe even a little longer, actually, kimonos typically only reach the ankles. But the way he wears whatever he wears, could make it look longer than it should be or is.)
Additionally his sleeves and;
The absolute abomination his outfits back is. What the genuine *🐬 noise* happened.
The way his the back of the outfit is, it means that if he wears the unworn sleeve, the back will be SO DROOPED!! It would not be funny or sexy 😔
Here is a reference for how a kimono (though with longer/larger sleeves) with one sleeve not being worn would look;
(i am so sorry, but idk who the artist is and can not find them. Googling bee-com led to (i think) a bitcoin website, and katahada nugi was just for information for samurai armor.) (If anyone knows it would be very appreciated!)
*sigh*
Moving onto my thoughts and opinions on Pierce's design;
Pierce's deisgn is... rather simple. Other than the pattern on his pants.
... tbh i dont really know what else to say. It's simple, basic, the coat, arm-brace, and patten on his pants are the only points of interest in his design. (Other than his tattoo but we'll talk about it later.)
I'd rate him 3/10.
There's... Something. Theres a something... But it's not executed well (or at all) in his design. His (disaster of a coat that deducted points) coat and that something, is his saving grace of a few points.
.
.
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And i WANT TO CONTINUE THIS in the same post and I PROMISE YOU, i am going somewhere i do i do i just,
In order to continue i NEED the photo space, what do i mean? i mean THERES A PHOTO LIMIT OF 10 ON POSTS!!! TUMBLR WHY 10??? 10??? 10 PHOTOS ONLY???
***insert image of a depressed man bent over in a blue school chair meme***
.
.
.
But i hope you stay tuned and to see you in part 2!! (And most likely part 3... oh boy. Im so sorry)
Again, i promise im going somewhere with this i just need time to cook and get the foundations down first. AND THE PHOTO SPAc-
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Beep beep passing through
#bunny - rambles#just another one with vents in the tags lmao#please kindly ignore i just dont really have anyone to talk about this to irl so I just vent here where no one will notice#or atleast care much which really should be whats happening#anywho Im getting this feeling again where I want to run away and deact or give Makki away to someone more worthy to help mod him#I've felt very down on it for a good couple months and this month kinda took the cake#I dont want to let anyone down but not being on as much to help answer his asks makes me feel like I have and I dont want that#I just dont feel as qualified anymore to be a charanon mod but at the same time the second I leave I know Ill miss it and regret my decisio#im yet again torn and it's not like it's really a bad thing Im just disappointed in myself for the majority of this month on this account#well this account and his#I want a do over on all of this honestly but I dont want to let go of all the nice and precious memories Ive started and shared#with everyone Ive met#this is probably because Im stressed with less hours on work and other irl things but it sucks feeling this way#I know I cant please everyone and it honestly sucks that I cant learn that and drill it to my head fast#I just want everyone happy#I know I've already let one down without even getting the chance to talk but its alright#some things are meant to end eventually I suppose#Ill ponder over it more...I dont want to act impulsively#I dont want to make people sad is all that Makki isnt the most active#that alongside my other accounts and moving my writing blog to a new one..#aaaaaaaa Im hungry#this is hunger speaking#hungry means too honest for shit and mopey#i dont like being mopey#oh welp#tw vent#delete later#im going back to my writing blog and staying there for a while
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jim is back w another one...... same goes same goes fr this special liddol muse o mine here... like if u wld like to plot or simply msg me on discord (jimb#4863) n we will get it poppin (pinterest) also frgive me this is gna be more of a blurb type intro than anything i cnt focus atm bt im trying to get something out there in a timely manner
* amanda campana, nonbinary + she/they | you know monserrat marchesi, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to underneath it all by no doubt like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole drunk walk home, low rise jeans, pounding headache that starts to feel good once you get used to it thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 11th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.
mon has been alone fr as far back as she can remember (bt thts questionable now considering her memory has been gnawed down to the marrow by extensive and continuous use of ecstasy)
(tw abuse) wht she can briefly recollect is tht shes been on the streets since she was 16 n life before tht was desolate n sad. other than tht vague recap.... shes wiped her mind of being physically n verbally abused by her stepdad in a teeny tiny apartment in florida fr several yrs (since she was an infant) n all throughout it was never defended by her mom. in fact in her preteens her mom decided to jump in on it out of a warped jealousy she developed over the years in which she felt her husband was paying more attention to treating her daughter like garbage instead of her so she jst.... began including herself in the mistreatment mon was getting n basically verbally harassing her every day after school....... it worked in terms of forming a bond between her parents in a sick n worrying way bt was so so so crippling n horrible to mon
so wht really matters is whts in the present. dont even think abt learning much of her backstory because she cant recall any of her childhood except for those small granules tht lead to nowhere / provide no better understanding of who she is today n just send her spiraling since none of it makes any sense anymore. i think the one moment she will never b able to erase frm her mind however is when he (stepdad) smashed his cigarette into her mac n cheese n told her to eat it. she just sat and stared at it and cried
(tw homelessness) mon doesnt even remember running away. she mightve been dropped off fr all she knows.... cant pin any of her memories of going to school as a kid down even..... has kind of been an unidentifiable blip on the map since becoming homeless
tht being said... without a parent or guardian shes been fending fr herself n was a street rat fr such a long time. doesnt hav a drivers license or a ssn or even any form of ID. no credit card or debit card. knows her name n date of birth n buys flip phones frm the grocery store to keep in contact w people xx pays in all cash n coins xoxo
jump to now.... mon is technically homeless bt is content. lives on the beach n is more than happy with it. sometimes just sleeps on the sand bt has a trailer parked underneath a dock thts been getting threatened to be removed fr months now (she dsnt care). its decorated with all types of lights that shes found thrown out or at the thrift store n it glows so bright u can see the neon colors thru the boards of the dock above it. has lawn chairs in frnt of the door n a big cartoonish padlock on the door. she wears the key arnd her neck
(tw affair mention) personality wise shes vry naive n playful. part of this is the E bt a lot of it is wanting to feel like life is worth living even in the rough parts — shes found tht tht aspect of her can also be misconstrued as carefree n has gotten mingled with a handful (or three) of men tht take advantage of her untroubled nature to forget all of their responsibilities. at the moment she has an ongoing affair w a married man named hank who helps her stay on her feet by giving her money every month or two in an envelope with a big wax stamp on it. its nothing major bt it helps
(tw sexual content + drug use) mon kind of has a reputation bt i dont think shes aware of it. im sure a lot of locals bully her or pick on her fr it behind her back.... they kind of mistake her for a bit of a nymphomaniac bt she doesnt consider it tht way at all. things jst spun out of control the more n more she was using E (and other similar drugs) to get by n now being reliant on it she just gives in to urges n will sleep w just abt anyone. it turns out fine most of the time bt sometimes she just crashes on the way to their place n becomes this vacant girl tht doesnt speak or do much of anything. in one of these instances she n some dude were abt to hookup bt she crashed on the way to his apartment n he pulled ovr n pushed her out of the passengers seat onto the sidewalk. she jst laid there until the morning w her heels kicked off n scrapes all over her elbows n knees
so shes known fr many of these instances.... security guards finding her sprawled out on the asphalt of a parking lot or at the bottom of a staircase of a motel she doesnt know. its rly depressing
ANYWAY........ moving on from this sad sad sad stuff.... mon is notably a lovebug shes vry sweet n kind n she works shifts at fannies every two weeks or so / whenever ppl call out. she loves ppl she loves partying n dancing n she is fun. has no defined sexuality n questions gender a lot so considers herself nonbinary bt uses she/her/they/them. a bit odd and kind of unaware of wht is appropriate n what isnt (several instances of wearing bikinis n a pair of sneakers to shop for a loaf of bread n some lemonade) bt she means well
has a black kitten named shanks tht she litchrally considers her child. takes better care of him than she takes of herself n brings him places cradled in her arms like a baby
anywho..... i rly recommend checking out mons pinterest tht i linked up there i feel like mayb having visuals of the vibe will help piece together her personality xoxoxo
anyway..... give me ALL the plots ANY plot u cld ever want i will hand to u in a matter of seconds the writing will just manifest at my will..... i still have a lot of things to figure out with mon bt i love her n i hope u all will too
#irvingintro#ok let me know if i missed one....#posts this even tho there are bound to be typos n this is honestly a mess....#dnt look at me....#drug use tw#drugs tw#physical abuse tw#verbal abuse tw#homelessness tw#drug addiction tw#affair tw#memory loss tw
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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)
the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!
also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))
lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA
THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)
SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ
WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down
i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained
music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!
okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.
GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon
🥰
oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333
the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not
i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY
okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.
ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰
(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)
but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.
now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)
your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK
OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on
i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)
i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)
(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)
What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰
Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)
#lovely anon#BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away#you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit#all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond#or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it#so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks#if you want <3#btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being#(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch#its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis#*from now on#omg
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You cant expect people to understand your experiences....
.....let alone be open to it.
Im not very vocal about my feelings and internal shit. And twitter is too out there. So venting here.
I told some friends things that were already difficult for me to say out loud let alone open up about. And still feeling a good amount of judgement from people I thought would be open minded enough to understand situations. Especially if they understood we live in a corrupt system, you'd think understanding the facade of social constructs makes them less judgemental, but maybe its a religious thing.
So im definitely feeling lonely, im feeling isolated, feeling left out, and feeling like i cant share things with close friends. And i didn't have many close friends to begin with. I dont know if its a maturity thing, a personal thing, or a petty thing.. granted i understand that friends dont have that obligation to be ok with your choices, thoughts, or actions.... But it wouldve been nice to not feel like im being kicked when ive already kicked my self down. In black and white on paper, it doesn't look great, and i know a lot of people arent going to understand or theyre going to be judgy about it. But things in life aren't always black and white. And noones ever going to fully understand your experiences/relationships just like you arent going to understand someone elses experiences/relationships.
I've been able to open up to others with more experience with my situation and i dont feel as guilty about my actions. Coming from people who are older, wiser, have experienced similar circumstances, or just more realistic about how life works. But though i feel better about my situations, i miss those friends and i miss having those people to talk about things with. Missing deep conversations about our trials and errors. But i guess they feel like they got their life figured out and are settling in their beliefs. Lifes gonna keep changing and i hope they can be open enough to go with the motions.
As we go through life, its not going to be a straight line, and as much as we create the straightest line possible, then what? You live your life in complacency? Sometimes i feel i cant be around certain friends anymore due to their settling. And as much as i love comfort, i also want more for myself and i want to do better and grow and explore. But both sides are valid, and its just a sad feeling i dont like to revisit when friends come and go or people grow from each other.
All in all, good things are moving forward and as much as I'd like to share good news with people, it may not seem like good news to many. But your happiness is for yourself, and we have to remind ourselves that other people aren't entitled to your life. My actions are mine, and their opinions are theirs. Both are valid, it just sucks when people act like they're better than you.
Anywho im just venting needing to say something somewhere that isnt as open as ig/twitter.
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and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.
its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.
and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....
ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??
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Florist!Donghyuck
summary: hi i really hate this person and i saw your sign that you make personal bouquets and i would like you to make one where it gives the message of how much i hate them if it isn’t too much to ask for
requested by: a lovely anon!! thanks love❤️
(A/N) ajsdhgf okay so She Is Here!!! i don’t know what i wrote!! i always never know what i write cause when i write sometimes i just black out and suddenly its finished but i hope this is what you wanted you lovely anon!!! thank you for requesting <333
okay so you just recently went through a break up
that fool was the biggest asshole ever and you don’t even know w hy
so you broke up with them !!! good for u sis !!
honestly they cheated on u with a close friend of yours and you just,,, didn’t care anymore
well you didnt care That Much Anymore
u still care to the point where u are 2day
and thats going to a florist to passive aggressively say how much u hate them in flowers
i mean u saw a sign that says ‘we make personalized bouquets!!’ so u hope they can just do this For You
so you walk in a lil angry
and you have This Mad Face and the florist currently working thinks its the cutest thing
the florist is donghyuck
and he just sees you fuming and you look?? like a lil baby munchkin so adorable omg
and so hes just waiting for you to say something And Eventually You Do Say Something
he didnt expect this rant to come out of ur mouth
‘my s/o just cheated on me like a week ago and Yes i am still mad about it and i saw your sign about making personalized bouquets and i just wanted to ask if you can make the most Passive Aggressive bouquet so i can tell them that i hate them without actually telling them i hate them??’
and you say more but at the end of your little rant donghyuck is just trying to hold in his laughter because youre so adorable omg
and hes all like,, ‘sure sweets,,, also,,,,,,, do u need to talk about it? i can have it done by the end of the day and i could use sum company since ill b the only one on duty’
and u get shocked cause LMAOOO this cute ass florist really b out here! making ur heart beat fast! just by asking u to keep him company!
___ don’t fall for the first person to b nice to you since ur break up challenge [FAILED]
so ur like,,, ive got no plans so sure
and you just hang around and look through all of the flowers
and while youre looking around youre just asking him what each flower means
and some beautiful flowers have the most unpleasant meanings LMAOOO
and hyuck is just living for this cause you are just so adorable lkdfjha
it becomes like 5 PM so suddenly and you needa go home cause yo mama will b wondering where u been for the last few hours LMAO
so you tell him that hey,,, you gotta leave but youll come back tomorrow to pick up the flowers!!!
‘it was nice meeting you donghyuck ! im y/n’
and u see him melt from u saying his name
its the cutest sight omg
and so you just leave and hyuck is just in awe because wow ! youre adorable t h e
so he just spends the rest of his time making the bouquet of hatred
its not that much time, he closes the store at 7 since hes got a lot of stuff to do like hw since hes in his last year of highschool
but anywho
you come back the next day bright and early on saturday
and hyuck is there bright and early
and you just greet him with a big smile and then u remember why ur there and ur smile is g o ne
so you asking him if the bouquet is done and how much it is and all that jazz
and he says that ur total comes out to an even $11 so u give him exact change and then u ask what kinda flowers he included
so he goes into detail about each of them (i know nothing of flowers just the most basic info like red roses mean a deep love or whatever LMAO)
then at the end of his explanation you just evilly grin and ask him to write on a card very nicely of the names of each flower he included
he does just that and then he gives you a big smile ! the actual sun? yes.
and you tip him some money and then you wave him goodbye! and then the actual sun is not shining anymore cause you left
when you give your ex s/o the bouquet, you tell them ‘here, search each flower that was written on this card and find out their meanings, have a nice life.’
and you just leave cause!! wooo frick them! u r free !
then u miss donghyuck even tho u met him like yesterday
smh
like he was real witty and funny when u guys talked
u just go home nd ur all like ‘SIGH’ and ur mom is just wondering if your okay LMAOO
but the next day u plan on seeing him just cause
but to make it not loo k like ur just trying to see him,,, u buy a SINGLE flower
when hyuck sees u walk in the shop he Lights Up omghhshs
The Actual Sun Im Telling You
‘hey hyuck!! how r u!!’ and he MELTS
YOURE SO DJSJJD AADORABLEKFJS
well anyway you guys chat for a while and you decide youre going to buy a carnation or something
‘just a single flower?’ and he shyly grins at u
you turn the cutest shade of pink abby uwus her way thru this headconnon pt three
then he chuckles a lil and you laugh a bit with him
while hes totaling up your single flower, you chat with him some more
‘here’s your flower, have a nice day!’ and he smiles His Smile u all know what im talking about
and youre Sad Again
this continues for weeks
you buying ONE flower, him being the sun, u guys pining talking
you guys get to know each other more and more over the weeks go by
and suddenly you have these???feelings??? for the sun??? yes.
but of course you dont Say Anything cause he might not like u like that and u would still like to talk to him even if its just as friends
but sis,,,, u have No Idea that donghyuck has been Pining Over You Since Forever
cause sometimes you ask him to pick your single flower for the day and its him confessing his feelings through flowers but you dont need to know that
the Cutest Shit I Know
but then he just sighs when you leave and he feels the hurt of unrequited love
hyuck bub,,, chill out sweetie
IF YALL WOULD JUST OPEN UR FUCKIN EARS THEN YALL WOULD BE TOGETHER BUT I MEAN I G U E S S
literally everyone is rooting for you guys,,,, i cant--
everyone sees The Eyes whenever you guys look at each other, but the other isnt looking at you
sometimes hyuck even turns Red just by looking at you, like you dont even catch him or anything he just turns red
but hyuck is just like,,,,, hnnngg maybe they like me,,,,,,,,, so he picks out an aster and tells u to search up the meaning for this one this time
(its a symbol of love/daintiness)
and when u do your heart absolutely Soars
because!! he likes you too!!! what !!!
when you come back the next day you just find him and pull him into a hug and say ‘i like you too’ and hyuck turns pink and its dshalkadorablejdf
and so he asks you out on a date and its cute cause you say yes!
the day of the date he takes you to a flower field and he picks small flowers and sticks them in both your hair and his
ITS ! SO ! CUTE !
and many dates later hyuck finally asks you to be his! and u! yell ! yes!
saldkjhflakjsdh
OKAY BUT hycuk finding the most beautiful flowers to give you
like a red or white camellia !! (red means: youre a flame in my heart, white means: youre adorable!!)
and he just tells you the meanings cause you deserve to know and he wants u to hear it from him
ONE DAY HE GIVES YOU A BOUQUET OF DAISYS ! (innocence ! loyal love !) and hyuck is always shy when telling you the meanings
few months into your relationship, he gives you a red chrysanthemum,,,,, sister !
and you understand this one because you are IN LOVE with these flowers because they mean--
‘I love you.’
you then look up with a few tears in your eyes and you say--
‘i love you too, hyuck’ and you give him the biggest hug ever!!!
everything is soft everything is cute
im always soft whats new queens
but anyway!!! end!! hyuck as a florist would be so cute??? but him as ur bf AND a florist??? EVEN CUTER!
so! end!!! hyuck deserves the whole world omg
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better off unlocked
so i was taking a shower earlier and then i realized that i was going to turn 19 this year. and it's so weird and scary because i still feel like i'm 17. i know thats just a 2 year gap but still, 19 is too near to 20 which is like an official adult age ??? and some people get married at 20 and they build homes and pop babies out of their bodies and and some of them are living on their own and they have a job and theyre still in school like sometimes i just feel like i will be a useless adult kase feeling ko nahuhuli ako :(
and dont get me wrong i am still young I Know That 19 is 46 years from 65 which is retirement age so i still have time to save up and work my ass off to pamper my old 65 ass in the future (if ever im gonna live that long) but then.,.,.,. responsibilities...
i have decided to never get married. like sobrang sure ko na na hanggang dates lang siguro kaya ko or baka nga kahit talking stage hindi ko magawa kasi you'll have to talk to them and idk meet their expectations and make efforts to keep up with their pace and be patient and actually express your love to them like pano kung im having a depressive week and i dont want to talk to anyone??? i cant just shut them out and schedule kung kailan ko sila kakausapin and I Gotta Talk To Them... so they could understand and we 'solve' My probalem together....... no
so yeah no marriage is not on my todo list anymore. making is super mahirap na nga eh :/
anywho yes turning 19 is a very weird concept to me because its like a ????? stage like am i still in pedia or am i a full fledged adult now? i still dont have a passport or any offical government id is that fine? i dont have a job rn is that weird???
maybe id look back to these posts when im 30 then im just gonna laugh at how whiny i sound LOL fuck you 30 year old me you gotta remember how much you sturggled while growing up
growing up is weird its really fucking weird one moment youre hanging out with your friends sa may table malapit sa cavana tapos 50 years lates youll be attending their funeral. then you'll say their children and their spouses and you'll just feel weird like wow. you really lived a full life birth to death thats fucking amazing and weird and scary
but like why am i thinking about this?? i just noticed how weird i am whenever age comes up i get all sad and fucking nostalgic like ???? shut the fuck uo maybe?????
this perdev teacher i have is so so so so good he just hits the right spot whenever he stops sharing his screen and just talks to us and asks us questions. nagtanong siya last session namin if ano bang nakikita namin sa sarili namin in the future. one of my classmates said na doctor daw siya tapos may asawa't anak siya. that's pretty hardcore for a high school student and i really admired how brave they are for seeking their other half while practicing medicine like????? sobrang hands down.
then syempre got me thinking ano bang nakikita ko sakin and i shit you not it always ends up the same. im always alone in my imaginations like ,, so im a nurse. working in the er because thats where i wanna always work. and then i do my job and then i go home. sometimes i think about an apartment. maybe 1 bedroom and then its just me. then sometimes naman i have my own house. homeowner ako minsan pero magisa parin ako just with a bigger house and more bathrooms. sometimes i think of adopting a child if i wont be using my uterus. then raise her as my own and pamper her and guide her kung san man siya pupunta sa buhay niya. tapos id watch her grow and get mad at me and maybe she'll cook for me and introduce me to her partner and watch her get married. then maybe id pass in a hospice kasi she will be too busy to remember me over her own family. id die happy nonetheless lol :D but then it just always ends the same always the same finale always the same ending always alone always just me
anywho i gotta stop whining this is just very annoying thinking is a sickness i think as a society we should just stop thinking and just go with the flow of life
i started watching the x-files yesterday!!! i wil be very honest i am really satisfied with this show but my mind ks very tired now so i will nnot expand this thought fuether
my brain js getting sleepy now and my fingers cant type properly now
good night
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family doctor!seungmin
a/n: it was hard to find pictures of clinics;-; so i tried to go according to colour scheme! this fic is also dedicated to the 2 seungmin stans, annie and jupiter,, i hope yall like it^^// request
seungmin... graduated at the top of his class for family medicine
cute looks+good grades?? destined to do well fam
eventually he became a doctor in seoul national univ. hospital, one of the top hospitals in seoul
his niche wasnt really paediatrics but he enjoyed the company of children that the ceo gave him the offer in the department
seungmin declined, choosing to stay in family medicine
however patients who are fairly young are always numbered to his room so its all good
sometimes he’s on ER(emergency room) duty and 80% of female patients develop an instant crush on him
its funny cause when he measures their heart rate it spikes abnormally high and he gets flustered, “why is your heart rate so high?”
and doesnt notice the growing blush in their cheeks
anyhow, that was on rare occasions when he needs to cover duties for his colleague and close friend, jeongin
seungmin always wears this white coat with pororo stickers decorated on his name tag
coat pockets filled with candy and stickers to reward the children for behaving well
really hates to administer injections as he really doesnt want to hurt the children
but for the sake of their health he had to
and shower them with loads of candies and stickers after that
sometimes he’s also a FPC(first patient clinic) doctor
fpc: a doctor assigned to a particular patient with complicated problems, to avoid confusion, these patients go to the same doctor consequently for their diagnosis and reports
and when he sees familiar faces his eyes light up 10 times more, eyes crinkling into crescents
he’s just so friendly, children dont even hate going to the doctor’s because of him
while checking their lungs seungmin would squat down to their eye-level to talk to them, to distract them
children willingly open their mouths to let him check their tonsils too
children rarely cry during his consulations, because seungmin is that good with children
and they go out happy
which makes you wonder what kind of spell seungmin casts on the kids to make them happy
you, a permanent in the ER, deal with all sorts of people everyday
frantically rushing in every minute, life and death right at its doorstep
sometimes you see seungmin in the ER for cover duty, and he was definitely a sight for sore eyes
but you never approached him, not wanting him to see you in messy hair and makeup almost all gone
you always see him cooped up in his room during lunch break, and you also didnt have the courage to ask him out for lunch, since the both of you werent close either
in reality, seungmin always cooks his own lunch and saves them in a bento to eat during lunch break
its much more economical and healthy, the only times he eats from outside are company gatherings or jeongin forcing him to come along which he would immediately agree imo
seungmin’s cooking is actually one of the best out of all of the doctors, since he lives alone and living on ramen wasnt exactly the healthiest
which lowkey explains why he’s so damn smart, both booksmart and streetsmart
strangely, he hasnt have much experiences with girls
all of his knowledge are from romcom kdramas btw
but he does know how to be a gentleman around girls,, a huge plus point
aNYWHO the gods decided to shine on you and seungmin was in ER duty for this whole month
because jeongin was down with pneumonia, and was unfit for duty
definitely not missing out naggings from seungmin saying he should stop eating churros
you knew jeongin fairly well, as your same-shift colleague in the ER with a very cute friend
and when he was down with pneumonia you didnt know whether to thank him or kill him
because, seungmin would take over jeongin, which meant he would be on the same shift as you
you got to see him, but also you didnt want him to see you
what will he think of you? will he hate you? many questions filled your mind
all of them were forgotten the moment seungmin approached you to say hi
“hi, im seungmin! im from the family doctors’ side, but im here to cover jeongin for the month. and ive seen you around, but i didnt really catch your name.”
“i-i’m y/n! im a permanent here. jeongin’s friend too.” you stuttered, which made seungmin giggle
you stared at him weirdly, which made him clear his throat, “im sorry i mustve offended you.”
“no... its fine. i understand that ER duty isnt the best and we’re on night duty too.”
seungmin looked slightly offended at your rebuttal, but still regained his composure
usually, there werent many patients at night but there was this one little boy who couldnt stop crying because of a high fever
you were flustered, as jeongin was the one who always tended to younger patients
just then, a knight in white armour(quite literally) came rushing by your side to placate the crying child
the child stopped crying as soon and seungmin tended to him, and the whole consultation was just a breeze
the poor child had suffered from chicken pox, and he had to be isolated in a different room in the hospital
both you and seungmin were sad, the child would be both lonely and in pain(?)
since the child brought down the mood for the both of you, you decided to get 2 cups of hot cocoa to cheer him and yourself up
“don’t worry. the child will get better.” you patted his arm(which was your boldest move of the day), handing him the hot cocoa
he looked at you with puppy eyes, the brightening up slightly, “i hope he will.”
“he will, with your expertise, im sure he will soon.” you comforted, unaware that seungmin’s heart was beating wildly at your comment.
seungmin was practically skipping back home when his shift ended
now night shifts wasnt as suckish anymore with you around seungmin
the both of you would always joke around with each other, you “accidentally” squirting saline solution onto seungmin and he’d be like
“hEy y/n this would be a good time to express my affection for you!!”
you’d be like nell ho bc 1. you didnt want to get soaked and 2. too close for your heart to function properly
mostly 2.
but the both of you stop your playful banter until chan came along to tell the both of you off to “stop acting like a love-struck couple”
even after his duty in the ER, seungmin would approach you for lunch break, to jeongin’s surprise
hes like, “hyung, you never ever ask me to go for lunch”
“im sick of my food anyway”
“sStop LyING i know you like y/n”
“i suddenly love jjangmyeon lets order some and share with her”
sometimes seungmin would cook you a bento too, knowing youre too busy
aww
tbh you were starting to catch on a lil but you didnt want to give yourself false hope
until one day jeongin steps in to play cupid
sOoooo jeongin tells you that seungmin needs help with some wound dressing thingy
which you nearly wanted to question him but went with it anyway
and when youre in seungmin’s room there was no patient, only seungmin attentively typing away on his desktop
and he was wearing black-rimmed round glasses with slightly curled hair
a whole boyfriend look ngl
but you shook that off, asking seungmin if he needed help with anything
seungmin tilted his head in confusion, “no..?”
just then, the lock of the door went click, signalling that it was locked
“jeongin.” the both of you sighed in unison, shaking your heads
you were unsure of what to do, so you just released your ponytail and sat on the examination bed
“rough day?” seungmin speaks up, gulping slightly
“yeah, there were so many patients today.” you sighed, “even the nurses werent enough to help.”
“stop talking and confess already!” you hear jeongin’s voice at the other side of the door, as the both of you widened your eyes
“confess... what?” seungmin laughed awkwardly
“yeah... what?” you smiled awkwardly, avoiding seungmin’s eyes
seungmin decided that he needed to man up and say something about it, so he just got up from his seat and brisk-walked towards you
and he cups your face ever so gently and says,
“can i kiss you?”
you were flustered, and nodded meekly
and yes that was you and seungmin’s first kiss and love
young love
when will i ever
anyhow!! seungmin would always pick you up from home to the hospital and vice versa
sometimes he stays over at your place,, your mom doesnt mind
because!whatta sweet man bringing my daughter home!!so that she saves on train fares
seungmin shocks you everytime you find out something new about him
just like at a company gathering, all of the doctors gathered at a karaoke and seungmin went up first with a day6 song
and his vocals?? sWOON
and next he sang stitches and had hes eyes on you all the time
but heres the thing... the both of you cant let the entire hospital find out about your relationship if you wanna live in peace
so the both of you are like business terms until you step out of the hospital lol
would make you food! Everyday!
and also eat with you during lunch
wouldnt mind ER duties bc ur there
highkey wants to send a complaint to make you work at paediatrics so yall can see each other more often
backhugs! are! a! thing!
be it seungmin hugging you or you hugging him... the both of you live for hugs
likes to link pinkies
star watching at the rooftop... peaceful
with hot chocolate in hands too
there was once you got really sick and had to stay home
seungmin was dead worried he even took days off to take care of you
doctor kim doesnt only take care of kids
his masters aint for nothing
people started to wonder why the both of you were off work at the same time lol but they just shrugged it off
except jeongin
jeongin wants the both of you to get married
and the both of you do
BONUS:
the whole hospital didnt know of your relationship until you started to send out wedding invitations
“youre getting married to dr kim?? seungmin?? from our hospital??” was prolly the most asked question after “congrats! when are yall having kids??”
you were lucky it was a secret till you marriage lol
fast forward to when you gIve birth wOOSH
isnt this bonus too much of one
seungmin didnt want to faint so he was just by your side helping you keep c a l m
you had much more strength than he thought you would so he smiled:)thru:)the:)pain:)
you were in more pain so he understood that
you gave birth to a lil bby girl aww
your husband couldnt be more happy
finally someone made use of his medical knowledge to take care of his daughter
subconciously mumbles medical terms to his daughter in attempts to make her fall asleep
“seungmin... if you continue doing this... our daughter will graduate med school at 5.”
it does work better than classical music tho ngl
your daughter indeed took after her dad.. learning how to walk at 8 months and talk at 10 months
you would sometimes bring her to work and people always tell you that shes a carbon copy of seungmin
big eyes, milky white skin... yeah
has a pic of the three of you on his desk its just so endearing
“is that your child?”
“yes its my daughter and beautiful wife!!!”
and you actually brought your daughter into seungmin’s clinic... he turned into a puddle of goo
such a fool for his daughter smh
and a fool for you too
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Tell me more about Jonathan and Fp being friends
ok this one we gotta take back to elementary school for their origin story.
so jonathan as we know is very antisocial and cant be bothered with anyone not in his family same so he and fp never really interacted unless they had to in school.
and lets say fps mom had just died, or left, choose your dramatic depressing backstory, and he’s been real sullen lately and things arent good at home and he wears it for the whole world to see.
jonathan feels bad but like, he doesnt exactly know what to do, so he just leaves it.
UNTIL
one day when joyce is picking him up from school (late because she couldnt get off work) she notices this sickly looking boy hanging around, now the last kid to get picked up (his dads probably passed out drunk somewhere forgetting to pick up his kid) (also for the sake of this lets say fred was out sick that day cuz obviously fp wouldve just gone home with him. ok. great. plot hole filled). so joyce and her need to adopt every kid she sees cannot allow this. she asks jonathan who he is and jonathan gives a brief explanation of who fp is and whats going on with him and thinks thatll be the end of it but oh no. then joyce is asking jonathan to go invite fp over and like.... its not that jonathan has any problems with fp.... but like.... maybe dont ask your anxiety ridden kid to go invite a stranger over to their house for a play date ?? but joyce cant very well go and ask. thatd be weirder. so. jonathan gets out of the car and goes.
fps not really sold on this whole situation but then jonathan mentions his mom is making lasagna that night and fps stomach grumbles. he hasnt had a decent meal in weeks and who is he to pass up free lasagna? so he goes over to the byers’ house. (and maybe it should not be that easy for a woman to take a random child home with her from a school but this is the 70s/80s dont ask me what timeline im working under and child safety laws were not great and its joyce so its fine.)
ANYWHO! fp and jonathan have a real awkward time at first because theyve never really spoken to each other before and they dont really know how to make friends, but joyce is shooing them off to jonathans room while she goes to cook dinner. and thats when jonathan and fp realize they actually have a bunch of interests in common. fps looking through the few albums jonathan has and gets excited when he sees one of his favorite bands. and they find out theyre both huge horror nerds and jonathans showing fp some of his horror comics and then theyre playing dracula like a couple of weirdos and its just fun.
also fp takes a real liking to joyce and that plays a big part in why he hangs out with jonathan so much. joyce fills this maternal role fps been looking for since he lost his mom. fps just up here stealing everybodys moms good for him he deserves it. hes been through enough (i mean obviously no one holds a candle to bunny andrews but ya know)
and fp starts inviting jonathan to hang out with him and fred at school and whatnot. and as they get older they form a unit. steve comes into the picture at some point through fred. and things of course get real awkward when the whole nancy debacle happens but we dont need to get into that right now.
also i can imagine like around late middle, maybe even earlier, jonathan starts feeling like a third wheel whenever hes with fred and fp and its not like how he used to feel like an outsider when he first came into their friendship. this is different. he suspects theres something more than platonic going on between those two but he doesnt say anything and he doesnt judge. he doesnt even know if theyve really figured their feelings for each other out yet so he just waits for that to unfold.
ugh and when fp eventually comes out to jonathan and hes all nervous about it and scared jonathans not gonna wanna be his friend anymore but jonathan tells him its fine and he even saw this coming, even cracks a joke about what a couple of misfits the both of them are, and that makes fp feel better.
and i wanna think about them having sleepovers an staying up late watching creature features and actually having someone who enjoys it with them cuz god knows fred gets scared shitless nancy doesnt particularly care for them but jonathan and fp get real into it and its just fun and basically theyre just a couple of closeted nerds with a penchant for depressing music and thats what bonds them together
#lonnie doesnt exist in this apparently lmao#im ok with that#fuck lonnie#we got enough pieces of shit dads between neil and fp senior#also wills... somewhere#listen dont think too hard about it#just focus on the important people#strangerdale#briana answers things#Anonymous
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Episode 7 - "Jodi is doing the absolute MOST" ~Colin
Yasssssssss PERIODT!!!! Merge!!!!! Whooooooo
I just want the former fools to spill the tea to me lmao that's all
I made it to merge finally and I feel like I'm doing really good at talking to people. I would have to say that my favorite people right now are Collin, Jared, Amy, Jodi, Ginny and Brayden!! Those are the people I'm feeling like I could trust a lot going foward. I've gotten some sus news about Jay claiming for an alliance that didn't include me in it. So I'm not really trusting that boy right now. But of course I will continue to pretend I do. And Elle is super nice but our convorsations don't really contain much game talk and I really never know where her head is at because she's not the most active. She's more in this thing for the challenges which I can respect BUT ALSO SHES GOOD AT THEM. I think Elle is worried that people percieve her as someone who is good at challenges but it's true. I'm not about to let her win challenges all the way to the final tribal council. She is lowkey my target even though I literally love and adore her. And I met Jodi today and she is so cool and easy to talk to so maybe we will work together too! But I've gotten gossip that Jodi thinks I'm "connected." So I don't really know what that means? I could be a threat to her socially so I might not keep her the closest.
wow we made merge. i'm not shocked to get to this point, but I am shocked to see that Danny was voted out. That is a major blow to my game he literally needed to survive one (1) more fucking round ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. But the show must go on right? Merge was overwhelming like a flood of people coming in. Some I knew some I didn't but based on my perspective here is my initial analysis of these gorls: Jodi- Finalllllllllly we back baby. Now that Danny is gone, Jodi moved herself up to my number 1 spot. I trust her I really do and I'm glad that we're back together I think that we can run this game together. However, I am withholding information from her. I wanted to tell her about only one idol, but I didn't even though we video chatted and I strongly considered telling her like I think I can trust her but at the same time it was almost like she was trying to pull some info out of me? idk i said that if i ever play the game of survivor i would never tell anyone about my idol and i'm just gonna ride with my gut. But we caught up and we are thinkin a lot of the same stuff. I feel like she's just like me, where she wants me to believe shes giving me 100% trust but shes really giving me 95% the same way I am. I still have my eye on her but she is my ideal person to ride this game with. It's just gonna be a problem when I need an ally to play something with and I'm gonna have to do major damage control. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Amy- Girlllll idk how I feel about u anymore. Don't play the fakey fakey nicey nicey game with me you cannot bullshit the bullshit artist rn. She's working with others and trying to play the game where shes just nice to everyone and in everyones good graces. no. Jodi and i see you girllll we watchinnnnnn youuuu I don't think she fully wants to work with ginny but shes potentially tight with others too. I believe she has my back to some extent, but i know shes dipping her hand into a lot of pots. Babs- the only person i did not talk to. Colin- I know he's close with Jay so i made nice with him. Jodi informed me that hes tight with her too and I said perf bc he's tight with Jay so that is the formation of the group. Jay- Same stuff. meh. Jared- My king luv u xoxo we haven't talked too too much but I don't think we need to. You get spot number 2 my love. Also he told me about an alliance hes making with i think amy brayden anastasia and him which is good also confirms more that amy is very ugh. Brayden- Meh Ginny- Meh but also literally reached out to me and was like "i'm working with amy and anastasia and i know elle we wanna make a huge merge majority if u wanna join" LIKE WTFFFFFFF EFHIUDEHUDFBFHIUFE like u can't make this stuff up why would u tell me this????? All Ginny has done during this premerge is just reveal to me that shes actually smarter than shes making herself out to be, and it clicks now that she did not really need to connect much with us BECAUSE SHE ALREADY HAD HER PEOPLE THAT SHE WAS WAITING TO GET TO AT MERGE LIKE OMGGG the tribe placements Elle- Now miss elle.... turns out you do have a lot of connections here. And you're smart. interestingggggggggg. You are a problem for me. Anastasia- you are a problem for me already. i see you talking to everyone being all nice and shit like yes i get it youre supposed to be making connections and blah blah blah but not like this youre going about it wrong. And now I know you already have a group that you'd prioritize over me miss thing. Watchin you too. Josh- Glad he survived and I think he's riding with me. Back on original phantoms I told Jodi that I didn't speak to him when in fact josh and I were like alliance yas. I fear that he may have told Jodi that him and I were close and maybe thats where she's starting to get a bit shaky with me. But I know the two of them stuck together with an alliance of Collin Jodi and Josh. Butttt jared did tell me that josh was like i wanna work with u and he could probs be saying that to everyone yas i think i got everyone. So Jodi wants to go for ginny but I wanna go for anastasia. The tricky thing is there are soooo many advantages out there that if you say the wrong thing to someone it'll bite you in the ass unexpectedly and I am reallyyyyy not trying to get blindsided with two fucking idols in my pocket. So I want to get a group together that I proposed to jodi and jared separately which would be me, jodi, jared, jay, colin, josh. I don't think these people would run their mouths about who we voting out just to prevent an advantage from being played. I want to essentially force that group of elle brayden anastasia ginny amy(?) on the bottom but also in my good graces at face value. I think once the merge hit and even talking to jodi and jared the air is different and I feel like everyone is running around making alliances. I feel like jared and jodi even have a different air about them almost like the gears are finally starting to turn. i still gotta trust them and i think i can. It's just not gonna be cute when i start whipping out idols and theyre gonna be like wtf you fucking lied dennis. but again, will cross that bridge when i get there. gonna spend the next two days just chit chatting and being nice to these people. ginny is on the hit list, and i'm glad jodi is being very forward with it because shes just making herself a target.
https://youtu.be/nrrkbecwYCQ
~
https://youtu.be/QRILHU966Y8
WE MERGEDDDD✨ while I was at work rip me 😅 but it's fine I'm idk if I've talked to everyone yet I was kinda busy but anyone who reached out first I did 😂😂 I do wanna talk to Babs she seems great and I haven't yet and I should try to get to know all of the new ppl from the other tribes I haven't met, Jodi reached out anddddd I can't remember if anyone else I didn't already know talked to me 😂 but yeah! 🎶Merge, baby merge, ✨disco inferno✨
https://youtu.be/gAKFLe75uDY update; the alliance is really awkward and turned into like a how i met ur mother fan group HAHAH
https://youtu.be/lp4KXh7xb4M
The phantoms tribe is all in one piece that’s perfect especially when I got Anastasia and Elle on my side as well we are gonna dominate this season whoooooooi
Day two of merge: https://youtube.com/shorts/OvofAokuBtM?feature=share
It was kinda a slow day. I talked with elle for a while today but no game talk. same with anastasia and they wanna make a russians alliance but like this is post-ironic. anastasia cannot run around making alliances with people like its obviously not real? BUT i realized that anastasia is doing this. elle is linked to anastasia. brayden has a linkage there (whos also playing dumb with me like i see right through dis boy). ginny is associated too. amy is involved. i know jared has a fake alliance with them and josh is floating around somewhere too. i may be the only one in here not making a million alliances except like babs lol but the point is i dont need any of those groupings and alliances. let them make groupchats. let thm do whatever because they will all fall apart except the elle/anastasia and co group which has allegiance that goes beyond this game. i just need to essentially stay in the good graces of the people i wanna vote out. because literally most of them are essentially double/triple dipping and people are already on edge and paranoid so like all i need to do is just buy a tiny bit of time, hope that the little tiny seeds that have been growing for a day now sprout in the coming days, and groups and alliances crumble apart. like i didnt do anything wrong for making any move when it comes down it bc essentially nobody wants to involve me? so essentially just painting the picture of being the friendly outsider casting votes until they all realize they cant trust each other. but i trust jared and jay rn and they will help me get through this. jodi also numba 1 buttttttt ughhhhhhhhhhhh i was thinking like okay if people are saying ginny then what is ginny saying? what are ginnys allies saying (if she even has true ones) like my logic would be that the other person receiving votes may be jodi. shes quite vocal and out there and like shes digging herself a grave every day but im not gonna stop her from digging? like if word goes to ginny that ginny may be getting votes and ginny asks who started this shit? it'll probably fall back on jodi. i fear she might not last much longer if she is on the vote because that'll get her in peoples minds. anywho yeah, the important things are that i have a good connection with jared jay and jodi, and i love that i got to jared before any of these other ppl. like theyre all coming to him with stuff and hes just bringing the info back to me. maybe he tells me half truths but nonetheless its something. if we just figure out where votes are going we figure out what to do from within and if i ever pick up on weird vibe changes and shit becomes different based on how they act with me i will whip out one or maybe even two idols teehee. so yeah plan rn, be chill and friendly BUT NOT OVERDO IT LIKE SOME PEOPLE, bank on the fact that there are lots of cracks in some of these groups, and just make sure the vote does not fall on me. :)
MERGE IS INSANE! From a tribe of 6 to 5 to 4 to now 12, it's a lot to keep up with. I'm glad Phantoms stayed afloat and we own 1/2 the merge, but there's a lot going on. Within a day, I created/got added to several alliances, so here's the breakdown (BTW, I CAME UP WITH THE ALLIANCE NAMES AND THEMES. CREDIT TO ME): 1) jodi's lovers – me, Jay, & Jared; this is my F3, this is my alliance. I will go into detail about my history with Jared later, but Jay was in my last org but we never got to play together due to never being swapped together and not making merge. Jay & Jared were swapped together, aligned, then realized I was a commonality so we decided to do a solid 3. This is where my true loyalty lies. All my info from other alliances and conversations are directed here. 2) 21 gang – me, Colin, & Jay; Colin and Jay were tightest on OG S.E.E.S, and Colin and I were tightest on new S.E.E.S. This came together naturally due to that, as well as me and Jay feeling good about playing together. 3) the krusty krab – me, Josh, Colin, & Jay; this is an extension of 21 gang, to pull in Josh as ours and nobody else's. He let out that he knew Danny so now that he's gone, Josh's best option is to stick to me and Colin, and as a result, Jay. This next vote will truly test that he's with us and not any secret alliance with the other side, but I am pretty certain he wouldn't blow up his game with the three of us to save who we're voting out. 4) how i met your mother – me, Amy, Anastasia, Jared, Brayden, Colin; originally they left Colin out but I fought to keep him so that he's in a big alliance and doesn't feel like a side piece, because he isn't. My loyalty is with him and Jared over the rest of them. Having 3/6 on my side is also good because as far as they know, I don't know Jared or Anastasia. This alliance is clearly not really one to stick together, but at the minimum, it's creating fun conversation and personal connections, as well as subconsciously leaving names out of peoples' mouths. That's honestly the only reason why I'm here, as I'm certain that the Stings kids have their separate alliance. ONE ON ONE ALLIANCES: 1. JAY & JARED are truly both my #1s. I'm going with them to the end, even though I'm 99% sure Jared beats both of us for being a Denise, winning advantages, surviving that cursed Fools tribe. 2. Colin honestly would be my tightest person here if not for Jay & Jared being upfront about just running to the end together. Colin essentially is my #1 from new S.E.E.S, and he even told me about his Safety Without Power. I trust him so much, but I cannot trust him over jodi's lovers because he does know Anastasia and Elle and Amy and whoever else. However, he's not my absolute #1 not because I don't trust him, I just trust jodi's lovers more. 3. Dennis – this is a key relationship that I have maintained. I connected with Dennis in hour 1 of the game, but honestly I struggle with trusting him because he is just so paranoid all the time about votes, advantages, alliances, etc. He got freaked out by Amy because she messaged everyone on OG Phantom, like what? We only had 6 people. But I genuinely think he relies on me because he thinks I'm not connected to Stings alumni with him. But he does love to stir up paranoia and try to plant seeds and doubts. We need his vote for the time being, but jodi's lovers agree that he's too paranoid to keep in the long term. And he would flip. 4. Babs/Josh – these two I've just maintained relationships from the swapped tribe and it has paid off because they are numbers coming into the merge. 5. Amy – ah, my OG #1. Girl, I still see you as my #1 occasionally but you've freaked me out with your Ginny and Anastasia alliance, as well as the subtle unwillingness to get rid of Ginny. If it was genuinely just to keep OG Phantom numbers, I understand and I'm sorry for the paranoia, but hopefully you see why that was never gonna be a concern – I had Colin, Jay and Jared (& honestly Babs too) locked down, who are much more willing to play this game with me than Ginny ever did. I love you though and I hope we can get back to #1 status within the next couple rounds. THE KIDS WILL PICK EACH OTHER OVER US. I'll share my story with Jared as well as our Merge boot plan in the next confessional(s).
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The Story of me and Jared Lai. I was going to film this (still might) but my phone is out of storage. But here is the (not so) juicy story of me and Jared. He and I were both competitive badminton players when we were younger. He lived in Seattle, while I lived in Vancouver; in 2013, I met him at a badminton tournament because his club came up to play. I don't distinctly recall what the instant spark was, but we met that once and maybe had half a conversation. Of course, me being 13, thought he was a cutie and word got out, I guess he found out. I had maybe spoken to him once in person at the time, so he's probably really freaked out that some girl he's barely met has this huge crush on him. So I ended up literally never talking to him for years, because it just was awkward. Fast forward to recently, he started noticing that I was posting some Survivor stuff on my finsta (which he's followed since I made it like 7 years ago?) and realized I was a Survivor fan. I posted about my application for Metaverse (something about the flirt game I wanted to play) on my finsta and he asked me what it was, so I hesitantly sent him the link and he signed up. In all honesty, I didn't mention this earlier because I was dreading being put together or swapped together, because I really was not ready for the level of socializing with him that this game requires just yet. We ended up not being together until merge, where we finally decided to just talk. We called, and realized you know what, lets just play the game together because no matter how awkward it felt, we did have a connection that could be valuable in the game. That's how I realized he connected with Jay and formed the jodi's lovers alliance. It is worth noting that he never thought I was cute back. It was very one way. That is why I feel awkward and was slightly hesitant whether he'd play with me or use it as a reason to get rid of me early. But I think we're good. Maybe we'll play a BvW ORG soon or the real thing.
While i like elle and anastasia, i’m forming a new majority (i pray to GOD i am) with Jodi, Jared, Josh, Colin, and hopefully we have dennis and amy...i don’t know where this game is going, i genuinely like everyone in this game but ginny. And it’s not like i DISLIKE ginny, I just don’t know anything about her. I have a good relationship with most people here, i just hope i’m not shot in the crossfire tonight at tribal.
Well my former tribemate Ginny is terrible at communication. I’ve heard from several other players that they have received very cold or short responses when attempting to reach out to Ginny so it makes them an easy first target. I’ve also found out that apparently Ginny, Elle & Anastasia are besties irl so that must be broken up immediately.
Finally created the renegades alliance it’s going to be huge nobody would expect it whatsoever
GINNY YOU CANT NOT TALK TO ME ALL MERGE THEN HIT ME UP AND MAKE A GROUP WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR NAME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHQhqd5cz-Y&list=PLrsCGcojtF16jvLW49C4855pUlLWI9pnn&index=13 hey guys who here like amy winehouse say I
AHHH MERGE HAPPENED okay so I have no idea where to even begin. I'm just gonna ramble as usual. ITS so weird going from talking to 3 other people to now having to talk to 11 its the first merge round and I already have 3 new alliances One with Jodi + josh + Jay One with just Jodi + jay and one majority one with Brayden + Anastasia + Amy + Jared + jodi after Amy won immunity, shit hit the fan. Jodi is doing the absolute MOST. for some reason she's still on her rampage against Ginny. I don't know what their beef even is. but sis is doing the absolute most to get her out the natural move this round is to vote out Babs. Their name came out immediately because they're inactive still and haven't added some people back yet even. it's crazy. However, I'm out with friends last night and meanwhile Jodi is arranging an entire blindside and counting me as a number for it. like GIRL WHAT. I love her and she's my #1 but I can't put my own game in jeopardy for her chaotic plans. It would honestly be actually very easy to vote out Ginny instead but the way she's going about it makes it more chaotic than it needs to be My main thing is I dont wanna burn bridges. I feel very close to Anastasia and Amy and I don't want to lie to them. Brayden and Jared and Elle are people I would love to work with, but I can't start that off with a blindside. I understand there's a lot of powers and advantages in the game, but it's first merge vote. so now that I'm able to talk to everyone and take initiative, I'm taking it in my hands and trying to get it to be unanimous on ginny. that way Jodi gets her way, she doesn't spiral, she knows I'm still on her side, and I don't have to draw a line in the sand so definitively. i have no idea how this is gonna play out but we'll see how it goes!!
Jay told me Anastasia told him Ginny was the only vote for her at her last FTC. Girl, you’re literally proving why we need to get rid of her. I love you but she’ll never vote for me or work with me and my alliance. Sorry :/
teehee almost two hours till tribal. hate all of these people. voting out ginny. brayden is sussing me out he claims to be throwing a vote on babs so we'll see who else is putting a vote on babs. anastasia makes an "alliance" but doesnt talk to me about the vote lol anyway im just gonna chill and lurk in the shadows for a bit and just find cracks. just need to ride out these next few eliminations. thinkin about the most effective way to play a chaos idol. lots of thoughts. feel bad that the vote is on ginny but shes tanking her own game :/ i dont think she would even come for me yet so the only benefit of her going is that it takes away at anastasia and co's number. by co im assuming its elle brayden amy and whoever else they roped in. dxfcgvhbjkl so sorry ginny but bye i guess. maybe she'll pull out an advantage or something cool i hope my first tribal is exciting and not boring. i wanna be blindsided but not bc there are votes against me. just wanna see someone random go home.
So! Tribal tonight, I think everybody is pretty much voting Ginny. I feel like having an idol makes me that much more paranoid 😅 because im like *squints eyes* what if it's secretly me and they're trying to blindside me??? But anyway if Ginny ends up being voted out I'm sorry ❤️, I did mean it when I said mount merapi was water under the bridge, but i had work and then was exhausted so i took a nap and literally everyone had pretty much made up their minds 😅 there was no room to really even try to change minds.
We are voting out Ginny :( I AM ACTUALLY SAD I DONT WANT GINNY TO GO WHY GINNY??? Literally it was so random. Babs was going to be the target and then randomly Jodi and Collin were saying how they wanted to keep Babs and get rid of Ginny. And I tried to save it by sending a giant paragraph saying how Ginny would be a good number but they had their mind set. I THINK JODI AND COLLIN ARE WORKING WITH BABS. Jodi is literally my #1 target right now lol I want that girl gone. GINNY DONT WORRY IM NOT VOTING FOR YOU I AM VOTING BABS. I WILL AVENGE YOU!!
https://youtu.be/HX05_se6T8Y
gonna save the shade for the vote confessional lmao
~~~
Edgic:
Power Rankings:
Jared: As a lot of people have put it, Jared is the “Denise” of the season. He is coming into the merge with a fresh start and a clean slate as the last remaining member of his tribe. He has aligned with Jay and Jodi who are definitely powerful numbers to have this early in the game. Additionally, he’s also hiding behind Jodi’s massive and ever-increasing target. People are not viewing Jared as a big, monstrous threat. However, he is managing the numbers behind the scenes and one of the only people who can keep Jodi’s head screwed on. His power over Jodi also gives him access to numbers that he would not have otherwise. Overall, Jared is calling the shots and getting things to go his way always.
Colin: Colin has played very impressively this round. He has managed to reign Jodi back in and has cleaned up most of her mess. Now, he nor Jodi will lose important numbers because of Jodi’s desire to make the first merge vote a blindside. By being clear, upfront, and communicative with his allies, he is gaining their trust despite not voting the way they want. Speaking of allies, Colin has built relationships with people that Jodi has not; namely, Anastasia, Elle, Amy, and Brayden are key numbers for Colin. This marks him as the head of the non-Jodi side, but he is also close with Jodi enough to find out information. He realizes just how important these numbers will be in the long run. Finally, Colin realizes that Jodi is a messy and chaotic player who will do more harm than good in the long run. This realization is sure to be the start of Jodi’s downfall which, if placed at the right time, will be very beneficial for his game.
Jay: Jay holds power because he is aligned with Jodi and Jared. Not many people give Jay a second look otherwise. He’s on the outs with everyone besides those two. Both Colin and Dennis do not vibe well with him causing him to be a target down the road if they need an easy one. However, Jay’s greatest strength has and is his ability to stay under the radar while aligning with power players. He is effectively using Jodi and Jared as shields for his own agenda. This might be a problem later down the road as he might be seen as their goat. So, he needs to step up and have more of a say on what goes on in that alliance instead of being reactionary to whatever Jodi and Jared do.
Jodi: There is SO much to say about Jodi’s game, but only some of it is good. Jodi has gone off the rails this round. Her obsession and paranoia with returnees and advantages have clouded her vision. She has tunnel vision when it comes to getting Ginnifer out. Due to this, she was ready to blindside and burn bridges with people that she should still try to play nice with early in the merge. Jodi seems to be of the belief that no matter what she does her allies will still trust her. This is seen when she openly talks about her closeness with others in front of people, making several unnecessary and clearly fake alliances, and lying to people despite having no reason to lie. She’s still at the #4 spot because, at this point, people trust her and she holds a lot of power because of it. However, her actions, which I foresee continuing, will only cause that power to reduce significantly as people start to see her for the chaotic mess she is.
Josh: Josh is a little bit out of the loop this round, especially when he told Anastasia and Brayden about the vote for Ginny when he was not supposed to. This caused some rifts in his relationship with Jodi. However, due to this, Josh is firmly in the middle of everything as no one sees him as a firm ally, but no one wants to target him either. He could even be the one to turn on Jodi eventually seeing as he is in all these alliances with her.
Amy: Amy was in a bit of trouble near the beginning of the tribal phase. Jodi does not trust her as much as Amy would like to believe. In fact, without Josh outing the plan, Amy would not have even known that the vote was actually for Ginny. She would just be one of the few Jodi blindsided without remorse. However, I do think that Jodi has learned to keep Amy close is better in the long run. Additionally, Amy has Anastasia, Brayden, and Colin on her side which helps keep her in the middle. She is not necessarily a swing vote as Jodi keeps a ton of information from her. However, the position she is in keeps her firmly in the middle of all the power distribution going on.
Babs: They are not active, but their previous likeability in the challenges in pre-merge has caused them to have powerful and vocal vouchers, such as Colin and Jodi, to keep them safe.
Dennis: The distrust of Dennis saga continues. Jodi believes that Dennis is paranoid and talks too much for his own good (sort of like what she is actually doing). The alliance of Jay, Jodi, and Jared believe that Dennis will flip on them if given the chance and is a game Player. The only reason he wasn’t targeted this round is because of Jodi’s vendetta against Ginny. However, I foresee him getting targeted by this group later down the road. The worst part is that he cannot get a direct read on this group. He believes that they are all wrapped around his finger. If he does not wake up soon or get strong relationships outside of those three, he will soon find himself blindsided with two idols in his pockets. And those two idols are the only thing keeping him away from the bottom 4.
Brayden: The top of the bottom 4. Brayden, for the longest time before Colin cleaned up Jodi’s mess, believed that Babs was the person getting voted out tonight. He had complete faith in Jodi which has since backfired because she rats about everything he says to her other alliances. His alliance with Amy and Anastasia is quickly being spotted by people, and he has made himself a target by association. This was not a good round for Brayden as it puts him in the bottom for the rounds to come. Additionally, his reads have been off causing him to be majorly out of the loop.
Anastasia: Anything Anastasia says regarding Ginny always seems to backfire. Anastasia could say “I think Ginny is lovely person” and Jodi will go “See! This is why we need Ginny out!” Anastasia’s relationship with Ginny in this game was quickly exposed, and it gave a lot of people a free target. Anastasia’s defense of Ginny has worsened her position on her tribe’s totem pole. She does not seem to have a lot of social power yet on her tribe either. She does have strong allies with Brayden and Amy, but she is going to have to find new ones soon. This is because that alliance is quickly being read by others meaning it just serves as an excuse to target Anastasia.
Elle: Elle is pretty inactive this round which has been to their detriment. This has led to people liking them, but not necessarily wanting to work with them. Additionally, the rumor of an IRL relationship with Ginny and Anastasia is still spreading and being believed even now. They have been pigeonholed into working with those two as it seems that there is no way others want to work with them because of said reason. Elle has a lot of leg work to regain power in this game.
Ginnifer: I do not know why Ginny is being targeted so vehemently. False rumor of her connection with Anastasia and Elle? Attempting to start a majority alliance without telling half the people before its creation? Her first mistake was trying to create an alliance so quickly after the merge started. This information spread like wildfire throughout the tribe which gave her opposition (mainly Jodi) fuel to target her over someone inactive like Babs. If Ginny had sat back and just small talked their way through this round, Babs would be the person going while she is on the jury. It does not look good at the moment for Ginny’s game. The problem being that her detractors are very vocal in their opposition, especially the alliance of Jodi, Jared, and Jay who were willing to burn a lot of bridges just to get Ginny out.
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All the alliances in this single round (y’all really said “What if Raffy was Pressed and Stressed”):
Fools Gold is Really Phantoms - Amy, Anastasia, Ginny
2 Gays and a Jodi - Josh, Colin, Jodi
Lasagna - Colin, Anastasia, Elle, Jay
Final 3 - Brayden, Anastasia, Amy
Kitty Cats - Dennis, Jared, Jay
The Active Ones - Brayden, Jodi, Amy
Krusty Krab - Colin, Josh, Jodi, Jay
Renegades - Ginny, Jodi, Dennis, Josh, Elle, Brayden, Anastasia, Amy
Vampires - Dennis, Jodi, Amy
Cody and Sarah's Besties - Jodi, Amy, Jay
Jodi's Lovers - Jodi, Jared, Jay
How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) - Colin, Anastasia, Amy, Brayden, Jared, Jodi
21 Gang - Jay, Jodi, Colin
Yeet Ginny - Jodi, Dennis, Jay, Jared
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