#anyways... it's a work in progress a very rough draft

[sevikagf]

this is a test lol what a weird thing to make

[comfortlesshurt]

OKAY, IT'S FINALLY HITTING

(will you guys hate me if I post this longfic a month later than planned?)

[narenohate]

the reckless, the wild youth (WIP)

(since eda and raine's backstory is so different in this AU, i'm pondering a comic about the two of them and just how and why it went so wrong) (infodump.... ramble?? ig down there + design notes on how my progress is going with this project)

Seb's design notes: anyways i've been dancing with the idea of making canis caninam's witches more animalistic. because yeah im just having fun at this point. bonus, sphynx / owl beast design. i'm not a big fan of her canon design, and it's not because i think she's scary.

my current inspo for the witch faces is a mix of good ol' na'vi 3d models, deerchip's s work (they're on twitter!!) and olya bossak's anthropomorphic portraits!! i didn't just want them to be elves who purr, tbh... though more and more as i post this i'm kind of hoping to get harrassed off the fandom for my weird ideas and "forced" to make this into an original story.

ramble on story derived from conversation with Bow (idea beta tester, victim of the circumstances of my hyperfixation, beautiful white hetero man who got here by accident). IT'S A ROUGH, UNEDITED DRAFT. PARTS OF IT ARE DIRECTLY FROM A CONVERSATION. IT'S ROUGH. Eda is born to the Clawthorne family - daughter of Gwendolyn, a healer, and Dell, a toy maker who married into her clan as to escape the hardships of living outside the barrier, amidst bestial demons... and probably something else, smart enough to scare him into hiding, though that usually goes unsaid. She is one of a pair of twins, and, for the first fourteen suns, eleven moons and twenty-nine sundowns of their lives they are inseparable.

It's their fifteenth birthday when Dell gives them an old grimmoire that has been in his family for centuries. Some of its words have been altered with the years, rewritten and repaired by generations, their meaning lost - symbols re-drawn from memory with each unfortunate accident.

Lilith partakes in that tradition - having to repair a page of a long-winded wild-spell meant to be cast by a powerful warlock, after she spills some tea on it.

that night, the two set out to camp with a group of their friends -hyacinth, a selk nobleman who, despite his young age, served under belos as his huntsmaid and personal cook, and his apprentice, darius, a prodigy who'd already been branded for a coven, and who'd been personally selected by belos to be a companion for the golden-haired boy who'd earned his favor.

and, of course, trailing slightly behind, raine whispers. their glasses are foggy and they already smell like the alcohol they brought to the party.

nobody leaves the outermost wall to camp these days, of course, so the bunch of them settle in an abandoned park, before doing as teenagers do when provided alcohol, and getting plastered.

at some point, eda, raine and hyacinth get into an argument of some kind - one that results in eda opening the grimmoire she brought along, and going along with the plan she'd nearly abandoned: using her rudimentary knowledge of the old tongue the tome was written in, she makes a circle out of salt around herself, and reads the spell.

its words are all wrong. whatever she summons she angers, and, at first, nothing happens.

then, as she and raine lay together on her hammock the afternoon after the party and the tiny backyard camping "trip", eda falls ill.

it was fever and it was vomiting. then the lining of her stomach, then her gums and her teeth and her tongue. her skin sagged and it was like she was all liquid inside it.

raine slept by her bedside, singing to calm her down whenever she awoke. lilith laid in the old manor's basement, endlessly brewing potion after potion to try and quell the pain that refused to ebb away.

darius and hyacinth did not go to belos - instead they were stopped at the door by the clawthorne patriarch, and with his help, took a griffin out of the city, found an old thing. it called itself queen of bats, and it was made of wood, and it knew dell very well.

the three give her the griffin, and spend four sunsets and three sunrises walking back with their prize - it's a living tether, a wooden owl dell had made as a toy for his daughter when she was very young. filled with the griffin's soul, it was given by its enchantress the mission of tethering its holder.

they arrive to a burning house. darius and dell don't speak of it, but the only time they both see the emperor is when they deliver his selk concubine's mutilated carcass at the throne room, laid at his feet like an offering.

dell lost one eye to his daughter, the other eye and both hands to the emperor.

raine was gone to everyone except the thing that eda had become, a sphynx that spared their life for the price of their song. they land atop a rocky cliffface, a few miles away from the outer border of the bonesborough wall - soon, something finds them.

the owl her father had carved for her followed eda, and raine became sure, at that moment, that she wasn't lost.

lilith and darius compensated for hyacinth's loss, sitting for years at the foot of the throne as the emperor's guards, until belos found it fit to entrust them both to make for him a new selkie servant - they took hyacinth's old heart, a blue stone that ebbed and flowed, and they took the lungs of a dragon, the innards of a maiden, and all the blood they could get from a seal-devil, along with a tiny fragment of bone that had been strapped to hyacinth's old heart.

they spend day and night putting him together - the rough face of clay mixed with blood, the organs gracefully gifted, the bone.

they bury the sculpture. a boy digs himself out of the dirt while they sleep in the temple, curled up together in a mess of ratty old sheets they'd found.

they name him hunter because he was more demon than boy, but had hyacinth's face, and, though something seemed very wrong, he had somehow killed and dragged in a rat to eat by their side during the time they'd spent asleep.

belos allows the name to stay, and grants them both titles and robes of white, and allows them to mary whomever they wish.

lilith secludes herself to a temple and studies every grimmoire she can, and darius takes on apprentice after apprentice, teaching them how to pull the throat strings of a bard out, and how to best slay a sphynx.

hunter looks just like hyacinth, and, despite how strongly he'd imprinted on his makers, they both hate him from just the look in his eyes.

lilith finds the portraits of every other selk concubine, every other golden guard.

it's always hyacinth's face. meanwhile, raine managed to unearth eda - partially.

they bind her to them, and she remembers very little, but she is undeniably herself, and despite the tragedy of her body, or maybe because of it, she seeks to cause chaos. she embraces the life of a wildling, and raine follows in her stead.

a year passes. then two. three, maybe. probably more, considering everything that comes after. what really matters is that, as raine grows more frantic in their search for something that can help her, occasionally coming in contact with the fragmented clawthorne family's matriarch (before finding her treatments too harsh), all in search for a way to stabilize eda's mind and body...

she accepts that fate she was given.

the system of castes and castings and divisions becomes pointless to her, and she eagerly, easily pushes raine to rebellion by her side. the wards around the walls have nothing against her - usually, griffins and dragons don't fly that high.

raine found gwen's attempts to heal her daughter too much - but at some point, more than a decade after the two set out together, a night after raine settles a chain with a golden ring around her massive paw's wrist, they catch wind, through that shared palisman of theirs, that raine's mother has passed.

they leave eda to sleep atop the church, tail around its tower, and enter it to pray.

they meet someone - a who who dances on the edge of being a what - and, in their grief, bear to her their heart, and are offered a deal in return.

all they want in life, for a price, their mind.

eda wakes up, a moon later, transformed, and with every memory made vague, erased except for vague outlines.

naked but for a wedding ring around her neck, in a dark, low chunk of the city, with the body of a beast, she's seen as exotic enough to work the night for a couple years, as she catches up on a life she lost, and takes the name of a harpy, not knowing she's a clawthorne.

… clawthorne health clinic seems so familiar of a name, though. she jots down their contacts. attends every speech given by darius deammonne, head of the carnomantis force, and often borrows from the library books on forbidden magic written or translated by one lilith clawthorne.

it's not familiar.

she feels like it should be, though. so she digs into it all - never takes the name of clawthorne, but as her social standing falls and she teeters ever closer to living outside the walls, the people around her take to calling her the owl-lady.

she eventually takes to stealing from old homes - the abandoned sort, full of hobs and rats and hexes she can easily bypass, with magic as strong (as well-trained, despite the lack of any memory of schooling) as hers.

there's a farm-house, though, mostly burnt, long ago vacated, that feels very familiar when she enters. she tears up despite not remembering her, when she recognizes her twin's face beside her own in a portrait. in the rubble of a bedroom, a large woven hammock still has an old violin sitting broken on top of its torn fabric.

inside its case, the thing she knows she gave up her memories - or maybe something more - for, sits waiting and patient.

... a key to the human realm. she knows a lot about it, and remembers an unbound fascination.

(her one visit goes very wrong, of course - but she can spy through her palisman's little eye, so it's worth it. it's all worth it.)

meanwhile, raine wakes up, married to a woman whose face is foggy to them, with three apprentices who don't know their name but promise they've been there under them for weeks.

whomever wiped their mind didn't bother to take the human-styled wedding ring off their finger.

[fiveht]

Proof of life (Adore pt 3)

Hello my sweet angel babies ♥️

I'm not going to be able to adequately express my gratitude for the steady stream of love (and concern, sorry) I've been receiving over the past couple of months. I'm so sorry I've been AWOL, it will definitely happen again. Because see, for me, I usually have to make a choice between social and creative fandom participation. My battery is small, and takes a long time to charge.

Thank you to everyone who's left comments and asks and DMs since I've been gone. I don't think I can respond to all of it, but rest assured those messages ping my cold, dead heart every time I see them.

So I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I did this same thing months and months ago, when I was working on Head Over Feet, and let me be clear: posting even a single word of a WIP goes against my every instinct and principle as an author. I am someone who likes to finish an entire story before I post any of it, and on top of that, I am NOT a fast writer, so the expectations that I'm setting up here might not be advisable. But I did it before and managed to finish the thing, and I want to give you guys something in exchange for being so unbelievably awesome, so here I am again.

This will probably be the only time I mention this story in public until it's finished and posted, and inquiries about my progress are unlikely to help with the writing process, I'm just saying. I reserve the right to change every last word of this before the final draft, and I also reserve the right to fall off the face of the planet and simply never finish it, as much as I will strive to prevent that from happening. Please be patient with me.

Anyway, here is my paltry offering to say thanks for the love: the (VERY rough) first ~1300 words of the third instalment of The Adventures of Soft Daddy and Danger Twink.

Sirius secures his handheld shower head to its holder at the edge of his clawfoot tub, and steps out carefully onto the bathmat. He shivers in the cool air outside the shower curtain; it's about twenty degrees below zero outside, so even if he could afford to run his ancient radiator at full blast, it probably wouldn't help much.

He dries himself off and checks his reflection in the mirror, turning his face this way and that as he tugs his hair out of the bun he'd piled it into to keep it dry during his shower. There's no need for makeup tonight, not when he's not even planning to put on clothes.

It's incrementally warmer when he steps out into the main room of his apartment. He gathers an array of splayed text books and notes from his bed and dumps them carelessly onto the couch, then closes his new laptop and places it delicately on the coffee table. It's the most expensive thing he owns, save for the Gucci backpack currently sitting in his wardrobe with a three-inch berth around it like his shoes and other bags might somehow contaminate it. It's weird owning rich-people stuff when you are still, objectively, broke as fuck.

He perches on the edge of his bed and sets his phone to charge, because his battery doesn't even last a day anymore, and he's going to need it this evening. He tucks it in next to his pillow and picks up his new toy.

The plug isn't much larger than the one he already has. A little longer, which is appealing, but no wider, so it shouldn't be a challenge to get it in comfortably. He disconnects it from its charger and hefts it in his hand, feeling the added weight from the electronics inside.

He picks up his phone, and hesitates when he sees the notification waiting for him.

Rieka: let's go out tomorrow

Rieka: the fact that we haven't been drunk since the term started is criminal

Rieka: we've had two chem labs and zero drinks

Sirius purses his lips, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. There's a fine line here, and he hasn't quite found it yet.

Me: got plans

Me: raincheck?

So complete avoidance is the best strategy, right?

Rieka: booooo 👎

He sighs, but at least she's not asking for an explanation. He opens a different conversation then, pushing all thoughts of Rieka Lupin into a tidy, sealed compartment, not to be opened during certain activities with a certain relative of hers.

Me: i'm ready

Me: are you in your office?

Daddy: Yup, I've got a few minutes

Daddy: Want me to call?

Instead of answering, Sirius hits the call button himself.

"Hey baby," Remus answers. His voice is already smooth and honey-sweet, and just from that, Sirius knows he's planning to lay it on thick tonight.

"Hi daddy," Sirius says with a smile. "Should I put it in now?"

There's a low chuckle over the line. "Are we feeling eager?"

"Always," Sirius says, laying back on his bed.

"Use the good lube I got you, it's gonna be in there a while."

He switches the call to speaker, and snags the bottle from his nightstand. "I threw out the old stuff, you've got me ruined for cheap lube."

"Only the best for that ass," Remus says, and Sirius can hear his smirk.

He gives the plug a liberal coating, running his fingers along its shape, his dick twitching just at the feel of the silky-smooth silicone, at the anticipation of what's about to happen. He spreads his legs wide, drawing one knee up to give himself easier access.

"Take it slow," Remus says, succinctly heading off Sirius' impulse to just shove the thing inside himself in one go. "Rub the tip against yourself, so you're nice and wet."

Sirius shuts his eyes as he obeys, sliding the slick end of the toy over his entrance. "Okay."

"Are you going to be a good boy for daddy tonight?"

"Uh-huh," Sirius says, teasing the very tip of the plug in and out of his hole.

"Tell me how."

"I'm not gonna touch."

"You're not gonna touch, and you're not gonna come."

"Yeah," Sirius says. His cock is starting to harden as his body tries to draw the plug inside. "Can I put it in, daddy?"

"Slow," Remus reminds him, "Slide it in nice and slow for me, baby."

Sirius catches his lip between his teeth and tries to push the plug in slowly, the way he knows Remus would do if he was here. 

The shower has left him relaxed and more than ready, and it's hard not to take advantage, just press the toy in to its limit because he can. But he's working on his patience -- under Remus' careful tutelage -- so he shuts his eyes and tries to savour it, the tease of the plug's rubber tip at his entrance, the slow stretch as he eases it past the slight resistance before he sighs, and his body eagerly accepts the intrusion.

"Mmmm," Sirius sighs as he settles the base of the plug flush against his entrance, shifting his hips and feeling the constant, dull pressure against his prostate.

"How's it feel?" 

"Good," Sirius says, splaying his legs out and just enjoying the pleasant fullness. It's been almost a week since Remus last fucked him, and that's just way too long. Christmas really spoiled him. He tugs the blankets up around him, because it's going to take some time before his body temperature is high enough to fight against the chill in his apartment.

"Have you tried out the settings at all?" Remus asks him, and Sirius picks up the phone, switching off speaker and holding it to his ear.

"No," he says, grinding his ass down against the bed to test the plug's reach inside him. "I thought you'd rather do the honours."

Remus hums, and Sirius hears the phone shifting in his grip. "I'm gonna turn it on, okay? Lowest setting."

"O--" Sirius stutters as the plug buzzes to life inside him, nestled snug against his prostate and sending little zings of pleasure down his legs. "Fuck that feels good. That's the lowest setting?"

"It is," Remus confirms. "Want to run through them all, see how high it goes? Or would you rather be surprised?"

"Mmmm, surprise me."

"Surprise it is," Remus says, and Sirius hears shuffling papers in the background as he prepares for his night class. Psychology 1001, Thursdays, 7-9:30PM. Two and a half hours of a lecture that Remus swears he's given so many times he could recite it in his sleep, so why not give himself something fun to focus on while he goes through the motions? 

Being privy to all of this brilliant, upstanding man's secret perversions is a privilege Sirius does not take lightly.

"You can turn it off from the app if you need to," Remus is saying, "Or you can call me and I'll switch it off. My phone's on vibrate, so I'll see it right away."

Sirius smiles to himself. "Got it," he says, though this is a rehashing of the rules that Remus had laid out when he'd brought the plug over last weekend. He'd called it a "late Christmas gift", as if he hadn't already given Sirius several thousand dollars worth of presents on Christmas morning.

There's more rustling over the line, the squeak of a chair. 

"Tell me again how you're going to be good tonight."

"I'm not gonna touch myself, and I'm not gonna come." The toy is still buzzing away inside him, making everything a little fuzzy at the edges. 

"Tell me why."

"'Cause daddy's in charge, even when he's not here."

"Good boy."

Sirius squirms with pleasure, his cock smearing a little drop of fluid on his belly as the toy hums insistently at his prostate.

"I have to head out," Remus says. "How do you feel?"

"Good," Sirius says, his abs tensing as he shifts his legs and the angle of the toy changes. "Excited."

"Me too," Remus says softly. "I'll talk to you soon, beautiful. Send me some pictures." With a low beep, the call disconnects.

[einsatzzz]

KHRe Projects Updates #2

Making another update post because OCtober is over, yippeee!! I'm very proud of the art I've done this month and I think it's also the most I've drawn for an OCtober event. I hope next year I'll be able to draw even more and maybe even complete all 30 days.

And with that out of the way, I'll be jumping back into working 100% on my projects. I'll post less art this month (save for asks if inspo strikes) because I'll be working on them behind the scenes, so I'll mostly be an OC supporter this month and just catch up on everyone's OC stuff that I missed whenever I have a chill time hehehe

Anyway, here's my progress on them so far!

Wiki: I plan on doing a lot of major edits on the wiki this time. I have a few that's already just sitting by on the sandbox pages already. I'll do them topic by topic/page by page, so whenever I make a major update, I'll do a post about it here (or maybe a summary of wiki updates if it's way scattered).

Planned updates this month include adding pages for Yui and then Tsuna (if possible Reborn too! I know they're a package, I'll do my best lmao please don't shoot me, Reborn!). I also plan to add another section under Relationships > Appellations for KHRe-Occurence interactions!

Webcomic: We are so back on this one! For now my initial draft of the chapter order in terms of character debut is more or less finalized. For this first part, I decided to just cover character introductions/focus chapters for now, which I estimate to last for about 12-13 chapters (covering for 15 characters, mix of canon and OC).

I should be able to figure out where to go from that point while drawing chapters 1-13! Daily Life Arc is so important to me, I'm not skipping the good shit 😆💖✨ But I already do have a few more Daily Life Arcs in mind after that and a few mini-arcs.

In terms of assets, I'm just thankful I even managed to put together some 3d assets/references I can use for Namichuu. I also more or less have the whole school mapped. I'll be putting this information in the wiki as well, in case anyone wants to make use of it too. Now I kind of want to make a rough draft of a Namimori map hahaha

Because of this, that scene with Ryohei convincing Hibari to do the trial in the Arco Trials Arc became even more funnier to me lmao 🤣🤣

For target release, if we're just talking about Chapter 1 then definitely this November is doable. But then I lowkey want to get ahead till to around Chapter 3-5 too! I'll think about it more!

My even bigger stupidass problem is I also want to draw a webcomic that's Oniyanagi 1st Gen-centric, but I only have two hands so sjhfshvfgs Making comics is so fun ok??!! I just don't have enough time lmao

For the artstyle, I decided to just use the same brush for the comic I did with Kana and Myell's Entity. The edges for that are smooth enough while still having a pencil-like feel to it, so coloring with the paint bucket tool would be easier. I considered using the pencil brush I'm using for rough sketches right now because I'm faster with those, but yeah, the coloring. I'll also be doing a mostly "Don't look back, just keep drawing" approach, so I don't take 100 years for chapter 1. It won't be 100% clean, but maybe just decently not messy enough? Anyway, I'm still thinking of other ways to be faster at drawing, aside from just increasing my overall stamina 😭😭😭 (I get tired so easily). Time to start lifting Ein! 💪✨

In addition to the main story, watch out for any new KHRe-OCcurrence chapters that I might drop in between 🥰🥰🥰

MV: I'm working on 📺MV and should also finish it within 2-3 months while working on my other stuff (2 weeks if I mentally zoom in & obsess over it somehow). I have the vivid storyboard for the entire thing laid out in my brain now. I think finishing this will hype me up more to draw more webcomic stuff hahahaha You'll know when you see it.

✦•····································•✦•····································•✦

Projects aside, I'll be resuming posting my other commissioned art here again yippeee!! I'm just really super thankful there are people who like my original stuff and interact with me here sfhdvhfvsvf and on the flipside, I'm also super thankful that people share their original stuff with me as well (or at least where I can see!). It takes a lot of courage to share your original works out in public, so it's practically SSR-rank content for me.

I have a few oc-related project/posts (even if it's not khr-related) that I have bookmarked as well, I'll do my best to check them out this month as well! Seeing other people with projects also hypes me up and inspires me, so the more the better! fhsvdfhgvhgdfvds Honestly, this small corner of the internet/tumblr that we have going on is kind of like a comfort place for me now, love ya'll ! 🫶🫶🫶

[mustbemosstaken]

do you have any fics im progress rnn? Can we geta sneak peek?

So, two answers kinda.

Do I have any fics in progress? Yes and no, I guess? Work and life have kept me really busy for a while now, and whenever I get to write it’s mostly been original stuff which I don’t post publicly, and also I haven’t super been in the mood to write smut recently. But I do have a few E-fics for Fable which I want to finish sometime.

As for a sneak peak at some of those, uhhh, sure? I have two main ones rn. There’s nothing like,,, super explicit in these screenshots but like,,, heads up for very softcore smut below the barrier thing

One is a Nightingstar modern AU fic, with Wolf working in a coffee shop. It’s technically a band au fic? Or at least in the same timeline as my other band au fics, but there isn’t really anything band related about it. I just saw the setting and was like “mmm, coffee shop sex”. So here’s that:

And the second fic is a Ulysses/c!Ven one, actually. Very canon compliant type shit. I don’t remember which one exactly but on some stream (and also on tumblr) Connor and Ven seemed adamant these two had fucked so… I dunno I thought it’d be interesting to write. It was supposed to be really horny and then it just kinda became really sad and emotional too and I wasn’t sure on the direction to take it, so I’m still toying with things.

There’s one or two other things I have like,,, really rough drafts for. There was an old Ghaae fic from s2 with the concept of Rae suddenly having a horn to pull/hold on to but I don’t love it. I had an among us au fic started, but Ghaaeghaae kinda did one of those and did a similar premise way better. I wasn’t super around at the end of s3 at times, so I feel like I missed prime time for Wet Birds, but I don’t have the motivation right this second to come up with an idea for it, even if I think it could be neat. Maybe once I catch up on stuff like Bound and Cantripped I might do something with those if there’s a demand (people should let me know if they have recommendations for characters I should look closely at). Stuff for my other fandoms I usually post to a different account, which I won’t reveal here because it reveals too much about my fandoms honestly lmao

Anyway this was a really long post hope it answered your question and that y’all enjoy those few sneak peeks <3

[thecoramaria]

Hello!

Thank you so much for your blog, it's helped me a lot in writing my fics. It's definitely one of the best fic writing resources out there.

Onto my question: do you have any advice on how to write more quickly + not hate everything I write?

I do writing sprints a lot of the time but I can't help but feel as if my writing has gotten worse, and I feel guilty cutting down my work because I struggle to meet the daily word count goal I have for myself (600 words a day).

I'm about a quarter of the way through my longfic, and I feel like I've just gotten worse and worse at writing. I still love the story, but my writing feels clunkier and flows less smoothly.

Thank you!

I'm glad you're enjoying the channel! It's getting late where I am rn but sleepy Cora is gonna try to answer your ask anyway.

First of all, I'd just like to say that 600 words a day is a lot! (And so is being a whole quarter through your story btw.) While I have won NaNoWriMo a few times (a challenge that involves writing 50k+ words in a month) it's definitely not sustainable for me. Recently, I've struggled to just average more than 300 words in a day. Unfortunately I'm still coming to terms with my chronic pain and the limits it places on my ability to write fic. 600 words a day on average is just... not possible for me.

However, something I have been doing lately is to learn what my current capacity is, which seems to be 300 words a day on average. Note: on average! A lot of days, I don't even write that much, but some days I make up for it by writing a lot. As I say in this short, good writing goals are like persistence hunting. You might find yourself more motivated if you set monthly or quarterly word count goals rather than daily ones. Then it's not a big deal if you write very little or not at all on some days, since you'll still have plenty of time to catch up.

(Also if you tell a non-writer that you wrote like 300 words in a day, they'll probably be impressed!)

So TL;DR: focus on learning what your capacity is, and then set your writing goals around that. Also focus on writing goals that cover a longer period than a day to allow wiggle room for your erratic progress.

Now, onto writing sprints.

I have the flavour of autism that gives me a processing speed deficiency, meaning that it takes me longer to Do Things than the average (usually allistic) person. This means that I'm a slow drafter, but also a more methodical, intentional one.

This means that writing sprints aren't all that helpful to me. I need to ponder every sentence and detail as I write it, because I already figured out the plot points and character arcs in my outline. "Just get the story down in the first draft" doesn't work for me because I already did that. In a highly detailed outline.

So writing sprints may be what's causing you to feel like your writing is getting worse. There are two perspectives on this:

First drafts are supposed to be bad, and writing sprints are supposed to just help you get them done so you can fix them later. If you were previously a slow, methodical drafter, then switching to a strategy that focuses on quantity over quality is going to make for rougher drafts, and thus make you feel like your writing is worse. That's okay though, because you can edit a rough draft. You can't edit a blank page.

Writing sprints are sabotaging the quality of your drafts, so instead, you can ditch them and focus on the slow-and-steady drafting approach. It'll make for less editing time in the long run, and you'll feel more confident in your writing ability if you take a quality-first approach.

But wait! I have a secret third option! One that may not be to do with writing sprints at all!

Could it be that the reason why your writing feels worse... is that your current WIP happens to be challenging you in new ways?

The reason why I bring this up is because this is something I've encountered recently while editing my current WIP. For context, it's the second book in a trilogy, and the first book didn't require nearly as much structural editing and rewriting, so what's changed? Why are my drafts for Book 2 so much worse than Book 1?

It's because Book 1 relied on the Stations of Canon, (warning that this article mentions 'Harry Potter' if you'd rather avoid that) while Book 2 breaks away from them.

Basically, I built my fic around a plot formula from canon that was already proven to be effective, but now, I'm having to build the plot from near scratch. It's like learning to build a house where the scaffolding and measurements are all done for you vs having to do all that yourself. Of course my writing feels worse! I'm learning an entirely new storytelling skill. There's going to be plenty of mistakes along the way.

However, I'm making peace with my first drafts for Book 2 being "worse", because I'm learning just how crucial and transformative editing can be. Taking on these new challenges means that I'm noticing weak spots that were previously invisible to me, and what is a weak spot but opportunities to improve my craft?

I'm a big believer that if you feel like your writing is bad or getting worse, instead of stewing in the insecurity, you should instead investigate why. Why is your writing clunkier or flowing less smoothly than it used to? Is it that you use redundant phrasing and tautology? Do you take 20 words to say something that could just as easily be said in 10? Vague feelings about the quality of your writing is what allows insecurity to fester. Actually knowing what the issue is makes that much harder, because now you have a concrete problem to solve. I do have a partial draft for a video that goes into that more, so if anyone wants to see me complete and film it, let me know!

Thanks for the ask, Nonny, and I hope this helps~!

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 11.26.2024

I did not finish chapter 9/52 and there's no way I'm gonna today, so I'm just gonna go ahead and call this week. I certainly worked on it. My current workflow is that I have a document called "temp", and I put the current chapter and all its mess in there, and when it's done, I paste it into the "rough draft" document, put any scrap I want to save into the scrapheap at the bottom of my "notes" document, and then start clean with the next chapter. Right now, the temp doc is over 3k words, but I've really been flailing with what to do with this chapter, so it's three-quarters of fight scene and a bunch of half abandoned scraps of conversation and now Ichigo and Renji are expositing at each other and I'm about ready to throw the whole thing in a dumpster. Anyway, I'm not going to count any of that as progress for this week; it'll get counted when the chapter is finished, which is my goal for next week.

That doesn't mean no progress, tho! Earlier in the week I wrote a 2k Inuzuri vignette, just because I was thinking about it and wanted to write it. It was so pleasant and fun to write and people have been very nice to me about it, and honestly, it's got me fucked up a little, because writing is so rarely like that for me these days. I've had this fear, roughly since I started writing Bleach fanfic in 2019, that I was going to eventually run out of ideas, at which point I guess I assumed I would just quit or something? I don't know. What has happened instead is that, when the random bolts of inspiration began to get farther and fewer between, I've learned to create story concepts and to craft them into a finished product. And, like, that's a cool skill! I am proud of my ability to do it! But it's also, like, work, like a fucking job. And the result is that I spend a lot of time writing things I want to be written, and very little time writing things I actually want to write. I used to at least have parts of my stories that I was looking forward to writing, and that's not even really true anymore. Sometimes I happen to have fun while I am writing things, but looking out ahead pretty much just feels like a slog. I've known that this was happening for quite some time, and I've tried various things to fix it and none of them have helped. I can't stop, though, because the only thing I really want to do is read fanfic, and the amount that is being written to my tastes and interests is a very small fraction of my appetite for it, so my only recourse is to write it myself. Anyway, at least I had fun for two days this week! That's something!

I did some art tutorials this week, and I think at this point I am putting off drawing my Christmas card in hopes that I will run out of time and then have an excuse not to do it at all. 🙃

Sorry to be kind of a bummer this week. I'm also wrapped up in holiday off-my-schedule anxiety, so I've had a headache+ low grade nausea for the last three days, which I pretty much expect to persist through the entire month of December.

GOAL PROGRESS: This week, +1979 words, which gives me 14,150/20,000 = 71% of my year-end goal, with 5 weeks to go.

[missathlete31]

Work In Progress.... Thursday?

This little conversation came to me when, (shockingly) I was thinking about Hangman angst. Basically it's a conversation between Javy and Nat after the mission, where Javy can't seem to take everyone bashing his best friend anymore (aka fandom Javy is the best Javy).

It paints Hangman in a good but sad light, (sorry I can't help it, I'm VERY BIAS towards him). But I would love to hear what people think about it.

Fair Warning: It's a very rough first draft! Also some adult language in here.

"Are you really all that fucking blind" Coyote spat, an unusual show of animosity dripping from his tone.

"Excuse me?"

"It's an act, Jesus Christ, it's a fucking act" Coyote looked her right in the eyes, any drunkeness she thought she saw was long gone, "he acts like a dick, he acts like the world's cockiest asshole but god he doesn't know any better."

"Don't excuse his bullying-"

"It's how he gets you all to fly better Phoenix, and don't even try to deny that it didn't work. He a shitty communicator but he gets results."

"Why would he bother-“

"Because he cares, shit he cares. He worries non-stop about all of you, about all of us. He brought up Bradshaw's father, a dick move I know" he cut in before Natasha could, "because he was petrified that Rooster wouldn't fly fast enough without it. He knew Mitchell was picking him for the mission and he needed to get him motivated."

"Maverick wasn't even team leader then, don't tell me Hangman knew-"

"Of course he knew, we all did. Everyone saw there was history, everyone saw the way Maverick chased after Rooster on the tarmac that first day. It was obvious he was on some sort of apology tour and was going to use the wingman spot to curry favor- I'm not saying Bradshaw didn't deliver in the end" Javy raised a hand to stop the argument she was about to make, "but you cannot tell me that he was the right choice prior. He never made it through the course under the time. He constantly ignored his group to make a point that slower was fine."

Natasha's gaze turned to Rooster who was chatting with Omaha, Fitz, Fanboy and Payback at the pool table. All was good now but Phoenix remembered the fear in Payback's voice over the comms when he knew Rooster wasn't flying fast enough; wasn't leading them fast enough. Coyote was right; she was blinded by her loyalty at the time but choosing Rooster was clearly Maverick's attempt at making amends, a decision that could have resulted in people not making it home. She turned back to see the other pilot was watching her gaze, "You knew it too,” Coyote told her softly some of his anger burned away, “you just didn't want to accept it."

"I couldn't" she looked down, "not at the time."

"I get it."

But Natasha raised her head, her own anger coming back, "Of course you do," she chided, "you’re blinded by your best friend too. You can't honestly convince me that his actions are because he cares. He insults us regularly.” she spat bitterly.

“He pushes you, in the only way he knows how.”

“Coyote-“

"Believe whatever you want" Javy shrugged, "he prefers you think the worst of him anyway."

"I mean it's just- he's-"

"I know what he is" and again that sobering look was on the man's face, "I know better than anyone and if you or any of the other's would bother to take a second to really look, you'd see it too."

"He's horrible to everyone, can you blame them-"

"Who is always the first one to text you for your birthday Natasha, no matter where either of you are stationed?"

"Okay but-"

"Who sent flowers for your grandmother's funeral? Who drove you six hours to your parents that time you were stuck four years ago? Who helped Yale get the leave he needed by trading in his own? Who made sure Rooster got to the hospital the night of his car accident in flight school? Who salvaged Halo's birthday party when everyone got reassigned at the last minute? Who fought those guys that jumped Omaha despite having no other backup? Who cleaned up when we all got trashed after the dogfight football game so Penny didn't have to on her own? I know it's easier to think of Jake Seresin as a dick but don't deny he hasn't been a friend all these years as well. I thought better of you."

"That's not fair-"

"Isn't it?” His eyes narrowed dangerously, “tell me, do you know when Jake's birthday is?"

The woman couldn't help the heat that rushed to her face from her lack of answer, "I- I don't" she admitted.

"Do you know anything about him? His family? His hometown? Anything? Did you know he never goes back home during leaves or holidays? He stays on base alone or he goes with me if I'm off the same time."

Again Nat shook her head, "I- I never realized-"

"Yeah" Coyote finished his drink and stood up from his barstool, "I didn't think so."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go check on him. I want to make sure he's alright-"

Her brow furrowed, "Why wouldn't he be?"

"Just forget it."

"No wait," she pulled at Javy's arm so he couldn't walk away, "I’m serious. I know he didn’t come out tonight but I figured he had other plans or something. Is that not the case?”

Coyote looked her dead in the eye for a moment and Phoenix felt like she was taking a test she didn’t know how to pass. Finally Javy seemed to lower his defensives, “He didn’t come out because he was trying to get some sleep” the man shared carefully.

“Oh-“ Nat couldn’t contain the surprise, “he’s having trouble sleeping?”

“Something like that.”

“You’re worried about him” she observed softly.

“Someone has to” he shot back tightly, “because he sure as shit isn’t going to worry about himself.”

The statement caught Natasha off guard but she opted to not question it. She always thought of Jake Seresin as self centered but clearly from the stress in Javy’s posture, it seemed that cockiness was just another part of the Hangman show. Phoenix cleared her throat to get her companion’s attention, “do you think-“ she huffed out a breath, not sure how her request would be received, “do you want some company to go check on him? Maybe I can help?”

Coyote stayed silent for a moment as he watched her with a frown. His eyes shifted to the other Daggers still having fun before they rested back on the female aviator, “don’t you want to get back to the others?”

“I want to check on my friend” she amended with a raised brow, relieved when Javy matched her expression but didn’t exactly contradict her. “He’s not going to like it” Coyote offered instead, “Jake didn’t want anyone to know.”

“When have I ever done what Hangman likes” she tried to joke. It barely landed but Phoenix counted it as a win when Javy gave the tiniest of a nod towards the door, “alright, let’s go.”

Part 2:

Javy headed into the gym quickly, immediately reaching for the speed controls on the treadmill and slowing it to a walking pace. Hangman offered a weak nod as he staggered off the machine. "Thanks man" the man's voice was breathy as he panted, "went a little too hard."

"'A little hard?'" Coyote mocked, "you look ready to collapse-"

The blonde waved him off, reaching for his water bottle and taking a big sip, "I'm fine- what you doing here anyway?"

"When I didn’t see you in your bunk, I figured your dumbass would head to the gym, do you have any idea what time it is? What are you doing Jake? The treadmill says you’ve been running for 11 miles already! Are you crazy?”

The blonde pilot bristled in indignation but Javy could see the touch of embarrassment that colored Hangman's cheeks, "It’s fine” Jake argued, “It’s just a work out, don’t get all upset-"

"I will get upset because you’re meant to be trying to get some sleep" he emphasized the other man’s sweating body, "this doesn't look like sleeping."

"Just needed to get my body a little more tired before I try again-"

"Jake this is the fifth night in a row-"

"It's getting better, I was able to get twenty minutes before-"

Javy shook his head sadly, "You need to talk to someone man,"

"I'm handling it-"

"No you're not, you haven't gotten a decent night sleep since we docked and I'm getting worried.”

Hangman opened his mouth to respond but stopped when he noticed another figure in the gym, a dark haired woman standing just a few feet back, "Phoenix?" he gaped out in surprise, “what are you doing here?"

Nat offered a weak wave as she stepped closer, "Hey Bagman-"

Jake’s green eyes narrowed onto his best friend, cold with betrayal, "Why did you bring her?” He asked sternly.

Javy shrugged, "She insisted."

"For what?” Hangman asked, “ I texted you before that I was fine. I told you to enjoy your night-"

"And I wasn't. Not with you here not sleeping- come on man, let me help-"

"There's nothing to help" Jake turned to Phoenix, his voice short but with more emotions than he normally showed, “I don't know why you felt the need to come but you can head on back to the bar now, nothing to see here."

The woman refused to be deterred, "I heard you’re having trouble sleeping-“ she began.

Jake’s shot Javy another nasty look before turning back to Nat with a smirk on his face, “no actually,” he retorted icily, “I felt like a late night workout. It takes a lot to look this good-“

"Jake-" she couldn’t contain her eye roll, “you don’t have to lie”

“Lie about what Natasha?" He opened his arms like he welcomed her argument, “I’m sleeping fine okay? Javy is just being ridiculous. I’m good-“ but he cut off when Natasha’s hands grabbed his. “Jake” she whispered, waiting until his green eyes finally met hers, “please. I'm not here to judge you. It’s okay.” she motion to Javy and herself, “we both just want to help you.”

“I don’t need help!” The man continued to argue. “I told you I’m good- I can sleep anytime I want okay,” his composure started to slip, his words becoming more frantic, “I can. It’s fine. I’m fine-“

She squeezed his hand tighter, “it’s normal what you’re going through” she reasoned but the blonde aviator only shook his head, “it’s not” he finally admitted, voice broken, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me” he let out a loose sob.

“Oh Jake” Nat pulled him into her chest despite their size difference, “there’s nothing wrong with you. I get nightmares too you know-"

But it was clear she said the wrong thing as Hangman jumped from her embrace as though burned. He scrubbed at his face, erasing any evidence of his breakdown. “It makes sense you have nightmares” the man explained, his tone softened at the woman’s admission, but he kept his distance. “You had the bird strike, you flew the mission. Your nightmares are warranted.” He shook his head, “I was just the spare, I never flew the course-“

Nat's eyes widen as she stared at the exhausted man in front of her. One look at Javy and she could tell that he felt just as horrified at Hangman's rationale. “Jake- you flew the mission-"

"I didn't. I was just a dick to everyone and compromised the team.”

She shook her head, "You saved Bradley and Mav, you got a confirmed kill, you saved the day-"

"And I was almost too late, the missile... I-" he trailed off, his face contorting with emotions before he was able to pull the Hangman mask back on. Jake steeled his features, “look I don't need your concern alright? Go back to the others, both of you. I'm fine-"

"Jake-" Javy argued reaching forward and gripping his best friend's arm. Jake gave it a second before he shook of the touch, "Leave me alone, I mean it."

TO BE CONTINUED: (Maybe?)

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 4 Set C (3/12/23-10/12/23)

Model used is Onome Egger

1.

I have continued the trend of fasting+cardio day. It’s actually not that bad. What was bad was the decision to bake while fasting. It’s not that I wanted the food. I don’t eat most of what I bake. But I couldn’t realistically test things too much to make sure they came out well. Luckily they were quite good the next day. Only half of one. It’s still cutting season.

2.

I got two in again! The first one was just kind of a general muscle flash. Brain producing lovely images for myself. Who needs AI when your head is already so full of muscle.

The second one however was a deeper introspection done together with Abg. We’re both POC but in many senses we are atypical. And yet still the presence of stereotypes still kind of gets in the way of both of our minds, and in particular our muscular journeys. We are both dead-set on breaking stereotypes and still coming out on top, so that was the seed for this meditation. There’s a lot of stereotypes for Black folks. And I know they are nonsense because not only do I not embody them, but most of my friends, relatives, peers etc from back home don’t either. But every time that one encounters a situation where you do meet that stereotype in yourself or in others, you pause for a second. Because especially while living in a mostly white country, you become extremely aware of the fact that everything you do is a form of ambassadorship for anyone who looks like you and visa versa. Which is a shitty burden to bear. Even after coming from a background of Black excellence in the Caribbean, there’s still so many stereotypes that come to mind. The perception of black people being unattractive, or if we are, it can only be in a brutish, animalistic, unrefined non-aesthetic way that doesn’t adhere to societal norms.

The mental stereotypes of underperformance and stupidity. The lack of ambition.

So many stereotypes are strangely contradictory too

That we're just needlessly loud and confrontational all the time but still get portrayed as servile slaves.

That we can only be good at sports but still deserve to be excluded from them. That we can't perform well at anything else. The strange juxtaposition of the athletic achievement that many POC are forced into because they lack the resources to pursue other interests and the idea that Ethnic food is unhealthy, dirty. And the very real reality of unequal access and outcomes for healthcare. The idea, often reinforced within the community, that we do not belong in certain places. In certain professions. In nature, in the world at large. That we should remain forever in this conservative slave mentality while we exist in the west.

Frankly, I see muscle and hypnosis as ways of outgrowing and defeating these stereotypes. Of changing perceptions not only for me but for my community. Perception is everything because it means that those who come after can see something different for themselves.

3.

Anyway on a lighter note. Yup, we’ve entered an edging period. It always feels so fucking good after a full week of building that erotic energy. It takes you to new and darker places and makes you vulnerable to things you might not have been before. Sometimes thats good. Sometimes its dangerous. But even that danger comes with a certain appeal.

4.

Its been a rough and busy week working on the first comm. I have some ideas brainstormed with Jockrs for an avis abstraction, it’s just always a whole different story putting pen to paper. Wish me better luck for the next week.

5.

So this one’s been interesting. It’s less been a process of drafting and then sticking. More a progressive building of momentum. Incorporating more and more things until the morning and myself feels more whole. I’ve ordered a bunch of supplements to take. A bunch of skincare stuff to harden my routine. I’ve expanded my already existing routine and even incorporated some new concepts from the world of Looksmaxxing. Truthfully, there is this deep desire in me to grow so much more in so many dimensions.And the himbo programming has definitely made one of those dimensions my aesthetics. Not for anyone else’s pleasure but for my own. I already know i’m gorgeous to other people. I want to be brilliant for myself and to be able to use that element of me like a tool and a weapon.

[laeveteinn]

hi! hope you are well 🩷 im on my third (maybe fourth) reread of innocent and honestly it only gets better on every reread. the foreshadowing is so clear now and its so beautifully interwoven into the story!

anyway i was rereading the tags and i saw the implied past non-con but i feel that the implications were so light i almost didn't pick up on any. do they refer to walburga and orion? or to ariana and the muggles? i didn't get the sense that they referred to tom (which i know is something of a popular trope in the fandom) but i might simply be mistaken.

also i noticed a lot of people asking for an update and i just wanted to say: please take as long as you need! i first read innocent maybe over a year ago and ive been checking the chapter count every few months, and i say this only to show that the readers who truly love your writing will wait and stay loyal however long lol.

also, your recent star wars fics have been amazing!! i was so excited to see them because i got into star wars again recently and seeing you write about everyone's favourite tragic characters was great. 🩷🩷

The past-non-con tag hasn't really come into play yet (beyond some light foreshadowing). It's a warning for something that planned for chapters 26-30, not involving Tom or Ariana. (I will likely have to edit the warnings for the ending; I've been going back and forth on the "BDSM elements" tag, and I think I will end up needing it.)

I appreciate it! Innocent is very much a work-in-progress, and I'm afraid that progress has been inconsistent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have outlined 10-20 endings and written at least 50k+ words in rough drafts, but I've ended up discarding the bulk of that. Pacing and symbolism are hard!

Thank you! I've loved experimenting with Star Wars. Obi-Wan and Anakin give Tom, Albus and Gellert a run for their money in the dysfunction department, yet they've also got a soulmate vibe that feels vaguely Tomarry-esque? It's a lovely flavor of angst and I'm here for it.

[comfortlesshurt]

alrighty, I locked in for a couple days and now I get to reward myself by yelling into the tumblr void about the series progress

first off, there are TWO FICS over 50% done, v exciting stuff. I know they've been over 50% for a bit now, but like... let me have my motivation, okay? we are in the HARD PART of the project where it all looks overwhelming, so I'll take the wins I can

also tex fic is finished and through round 1 of editing. it still needs another major edit and i need to finish fic 1 to make sure no info conflicts between the two, but the serious work for that is done

there are a few more days left before NotNaNo, but even going in with today's word counts, focusing on fics 1 and 2 should put them pretty close to finished by the end of November unless I was super off with the word count estimate

also had a really good writing day yesterday!

ignore those date projections at the bottom because like... those assume either i write 3k every day or i write 3k twice a week and 1.2k the other 5 days, and I canNOT do that consistently. but that July 23rd date is realistic! that's me continuing to hit my average based on the past 106 days since starting this project, so there's a good chance I finish this project in a total of just over a year (in which case I will never shut up about writing 450k in a year, so watch out)

finally, fic 1 is a huge portion of that daily par number in the first row, so... unless I fall majorly away from the intended timeline, that required daily par will go down a LOT at the end of december, which will be nice. the goal is still to focus a lot on this project and only really jump over to side projects as they call to me, but it's easier to do that when your average isn't struggling to keep up with your daily par number. it simply does not feel good to be constantly working just to barely get over the par.

as far as editing, i'm starting to fear i didn't budget enough time for that in my early projections, so the timeline might be off there. those due dates listed are for the final rough draft, which doesn't get a chance to rest before immediately going into a month of editing. something just tells me now that a month isn't going to be enough to cover a content edit for each fic. it's also relying on the technical edits being done week-to-week as each chapter goes up.

also added one more tracking tool recently:

this is to look at all the projects week-to-week, and really what it's done is made it obvious that I am in fact very focused on fic 1 lmao. in my defense, that's the one that has consistently had the highest required par, so it's easy to treat it as the most important. also, up to 27-aug is rough. I started writing these fics in Word, so I didn't have day-to-day stats to go back and check. I could only find those once I switched to Reedsy, so for the record I did not write 54k between 20-aug and 27-aug. same with the tex fic--that wasn't all written in one week.

this chart still only looks at ILaD progress, so you can see where I take my break in October and it cuts down a lot... but that's excluding the 10k that went into an unrelated fic, so I don't think taking this break has actually cut down on my writing much. it's just made me have a better time with it temporarily. i took a couple days off writing completely during October but like... I didn't really enjoy that? so I don't think that's the solution I'm looking for long-term.

anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk. i will infodump again, and probably soon since all the end of the month posts are coming up in the next week.

[herotome]

Special Informal Devlog

Hi-ho, Wudge here! Aaaa. I missed the update last week... as we crawl closer and closer to release, it's become harder for me to write devlogs. I'm making progress every single day, and that makes me so frustrated that it isn't done yet, you know? 😭 Something something curse of perfectionism...

Anyway.

I thought I'd try something a little different with this post by chronicling a specific screen I've worked very hard on, from start to finish!

(Pictured: a preview of where we're gonna end up)

It all began on... August 2021?! Yowza, two years ago! When I posted a poll on tumblr and on itch about how I should handle flirt indicators. The votes were split 50/50 between two popular options, and I was able to surmise that yall would really, really love an option to toggle between the two.

It didn't take me long to figure out how to implement the toggle itself.

The following year (September 2022), I came up with the idea of putting in an illustrated tutorial on how my flirt indication system works - after all, poll participants had told me that they loved the idea and had never seen it before in other games. I was on a treadmill at the time, so I quickly doodled the idea on my phone. It looks like this:

Then when I got home, I did a rough pen draft to solidify the idea...

I worked on the digital version over the next 2-3 weeks, and asked my friends for help with editing the text to ensure clarity.

.... Then I took a looong break from the infographic to, uh.... write, edit, playtest the game, draw expressions for Griffin CG, draw expressions for the landlord, work on a new Clammy Lady sprite, playtest the game again, make all the characters blink, make the first glowing animation for Jade's powers, code in Griffin's CG expressions, stress about paypal making changes in my country, do concept art for upcoming npcs, write some more, playtest some more, draw a birthday picture for Dart, write devlogs every single week, make sure all my files were safely transferred to my new laptop before my old one completely died... etc.

So it was February 2023 by the time I came back around to try implementing the infographic in code :')

... It was functional, but no matter what I tried, I didn't like how it looked with everything crammed into one page.

... Then I got really sick... but after I recovered and did some more work (drawing, writing, playtesting, etc) I came back to the infographic with the intention to learn how to code pages in renpy.

Still didn't look phenomenal, but there's a whole lot more breathing room! This was in April 2023.

I took another "break" (worked on a million other things) and then... FINALLY... in late August 2023, just a few weeks ago, I had an art breakthrough!

I had garnered a better understanding of color and poses, and as a result my chibis became a LOT cuter! I was able to redraw most of them without too much hassle - whereas when I first started, it would take me all day to draw a single one.

I also drew custom heart icons (a plain heart, a golden heart, and a broken heart), figured out how to make text buttons look more fun and intuitive..

And here's where we're at now!!! I still need to draw eyes for Dart.... but I researched and absorbed a lot about screen compositions, and had a rather late realization that I could re-use backgrounds and assets I already have in the game.

That's it for the special edition. I'll update with more soon!

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

[universitypenguin]

So I am totally obsessed with Lloyd and princess. I love how he is so rough and tough and how she matches his energy sometimes and she handles him well. I also love how she brings out his softness. They are so meant to be.

Will we be seeing another chapter of them soon? I feel like there is so much for them to resolve.

Yes! Chapter 20 comes out tomorrow evening at 17:30 PST!

This next chapter was delayed for so long because, well... I should plan better. However, the whole point of me writing TPATL was to challenge myself to write a story that was primarily character driven, but also weave a complex plot without allowing myself to think too far ahead. Usually, I'm very into structure and plotting things out, but sometimes that makes my character skills weaker. In TPATL I've been playing it fast and loose and going with a "we'll cross that bridge when we get there" attitude.

That's all great and wonderful... until you get to Act III and find the stack of IOUs you've written to your readers is coming due. (Seriously, how did Agatha Christie manage to write like this, it's harder than I thought it would be!)

Anyways, I wrote three different versions of Chapter 20 and I don't mean drafts, I mean that I wrote three completely different chapters. In the first one there wasn't enough action. The second one was worse than the first, so I revised it. At first, it seemed to work and I thought it had some solid action until I re-read it a few days later and was like...

Action?!

Is the action in the room with us right now, Alice?

There was absolutely no action, no plot progression, nothing!

Revisions occurred, swearing and angst occurred, and my shoulder tension went through the roof, but it all worked out. I had to write 9,900 words and scrap about 45% of them to get this next chapter to come together, but eventually it did.

Sidebar: this character driven discovery writer stuff is very hard and I'm never writing a story this way again.

Anyways, things are better now. I've finally gotten organized and written a rough outline of the events that will push us forward into Act III and carry us to the end of the story. You should start seeing the plot threads come together in Chapter 20. There's only a few more chapters of Act II left before we swing into the final sequence and get answers to the burning questions:

Who is stalking Princess?

Who is the killer?

Will Lloyd and Princess end up together?

Thanks for holding on and keeping up with the story even though my writing has come in fits and starts. I know it's been a long and winding road, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[freuleinanna]

trials (and errors) - masterpost

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | AO3

Exiled from the public's eye, young Marisa Coulter is preparing to go and stand trial for adultery. On the other side of Oxford, young lord Asriel Belacqua is preparing to go and stand trial for murder. A lot has been said about how 'as soon as they met, they fell in love'. That is exactly what made the rest of it so hard.

I've posted excerpts from it here, here, here, here and here.

gifs by the absolutely bonkers incredible @tragicotps because i am still in awe you would even do something like that! 💛 | the whole gifset here |

Behind-the-scene stuff includes:

I wanted a scene where, at trial, a question is raised about whether or not Marisa has ever furthered her crimes by trying to get rid of a child before it was born. I had a flashback scene in mind where Asriel offer to go north, for witches have many practices men consider heretic, while Marisa hesitates, but ultimately refuses. I thought it was neat that she had a chance, but didn't take it, because it's her and Asriel's baby that was in question. In the end, I cut it because yikes progressive much, also it just didn't fit in the general flow very well.

I LOVE Marisa and Thorold's interactions. One of the drafts for the last chapter was that they kept meeting by chance, with scarce chances to talk, but that Thorold was Marisa's last thread to Asriel and she kinda missed the old man himself. Thorold's affection for Marisa is !!!!! in my head. It didn't work out, but Thorold became that fateful person to bring Marisa Coulter to life - and to her path.

Another draft for the last chapter included Marisa returning to the Institute OR the Council meeting where she proposes the 'silver cages' and their bullshit benefits. It didn't work out because I never knew what gave her an idea in this case.

I desperately wanted to get Masriel one last meeting. It wasn't too realistic cause their feelings got really rough & hard over the years with blame and stuff, so a softer goodbye wasn't working out. If it was, it would be Marisa also returning to the Institute and taking Asriel's office while he's up north. She'd found the first of Lyra's photos. Asriel would have to come and take them upon his return, yada-yada, conversations, but it would be linked to the way she looked at Lyra's photos in Asriel's journal in the series. le sigh

I love the monkey? And the kind of relationship Marisa has with him? It's especially interesting in their youth because the rules haven't been formed yet. Anyways, it's way more fascinating in my head than in the writing but just know that it's good :D

[slashersludge]

Where I've Been

You may or may not remember me, since it's been a... very long time. If not: Hello! I go by Sludge, and I was the sole creator of Spectral Vices, a rough draft game for my upcoming visual novel, Blithe Vices. You may have also seen some fanart I've done in the past, particularly the Goretober stuff from 2022. If you decide to look through my post history, however, you will see that most of those are gone. The same is true for Spectral Vices, and I'll explain why.

Ripping off the band-aid with the art. I took those posts down because I do not want to support the respective devs (I won't get into why because I also don't want to put a target on my back). Within a year, there were two separate instances in which I lost so much respect and admiration for an artist. For a while, I was debating on whether I even wanted to be in this community anymore after the second time. If you're reading this post, that means I decided to stay, but not without extreme trust issues. You likely won't see me drawing other people's cool murder OCs anymore, as a result. That's a huge bummer for me, because now I have love for other people's projects that I'm too afraid to express.

As for Spectral Vices, I decided to make the game private. I'm not entirely proud of its portrayal of suicide, namely how I implemented different methods in which the player character could kill themselves. The person who taught me (and many others) how to make these games, expressed that they did not want to stream any more of mine in front of an audience of mentally ill people. I'm honestly thankful they said anything about that, because that made me realize how others may be affected by the many different graphic depictions of... something they can readily do to themselves.

I know it's not my job as an artist to make sure my audience of adults is consuming fiction responsibly, and I don't want it to be. I don't plan on sanitizing my content, either. In fact, Juda's route is likely going to contain much more intense manipulation and mind-fuckery. All that's changing is that I'm shifting the focus to overall despair, instead of an "ABCs of Death" tutorial on how to kill yourself. It makes for a better story, anyway, in my opinion.

Yes, I'm still going to make my game. It may not be the first I release, since I'm collaborating with a friend on another project at the moment. Both, however, are going to take a while, due to both of us having offline things to take care of, and me currently working through burnout. I'll post updates whenever I make enough progress to warrant one. Additionally, I won't give a release date until I'm absolutely sure when the game will get finished.

Thank you all for your patience. Until next time, take care.