#anyways. hope everyone is having a nice evening

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS BONUS CHAPTER

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlwifwy @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @slvt4her @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @numberonepartyanth3m @wbb4l @authentic-girl03 @slut4uconnwbb @unadulteratedcyclepaper @kplum10 @fuddfanatic35 @avvwritesstufff @paigesluver @bueckersbitch @ryywyd @lupinqs @ohmybueckers

warnings sexual content

kalena speakss 🪽! i hit 1k last night so i figured it would be perfect to give you guys this lil thing. thank you guys so much for all the love since i joined this community, i can’t wait to put out more works for y’all 🥹 THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 1K!

August 2025 — Los Angeles, California

“You’re really about to go have drinks and leave me here? All by myself?” I whine, my head resting on the mirror where I sit on Raye’s bathroom counter.

The last month of being with Maraye has been nothing short of an adventure to say the least. The honeymoon phase was absolutely real, because I honestly think we’ve spent more time with one another than apart. Aside from my last road trip.

Which I believe is the sole reason for my complaining and frowning in front of her right now.

“I’ve had these plans for weeks. I haven’t seen my girls in forever, it’s the first time everyone’s back in LA.” She explains to me, and I get it. I really do, but something about just landing last night and only getting a few kisses before bed makes the fact that she’s going out even more ridiculous in my head.

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen you in forever. Do you just hate me, or what?” I continued. I reach for the belt loop of Raye’s denim skirt, pulling her in between my legs. “Ma, c’mon.”

She has this look on her face that makes it so hard to act upset. Wide eyes and a thin lipped cheeky smile. Concealer dabbed under her eyes, blush on her cheeks, Raye got her lashes done yesterday morning and the fresh set makes her dark rimmed eyes look even more enticing.

My girlfriend is fucking hot. I’ve had the privilege of having my eyes blessed by her since we started dating. But God, even the simplicity of her black top and jean skirt— with the tiniest sliver of skin on her stomach showing and skirt just short enough to bring a lot of dirty thoughts to my imagination— makes the realization stick to me like glue.

“You look good.” I murmur as I trail my hand behind her. It finds a home against her waist at first, but I could only be tempted to drag it lower over her ass. “Real fuckin’ good.”

“I know. Which is why I’m going out.” Raye jeers. She pushes off of me, reaching for her just slightly pink lip gloss. It’s sheer when she swipes it over her plump lips, a nice color contrast to the dark brown of her lip liner.

My fingers tap frustratedly against my knee. “Baby. Jus’ stay wimme, c’mon.” I groan again, hoping that my combination of puppy eyes and the line of my jaw is enough to convince her. I watch the way Raye pats her lips together and I know it’s not on purpose but it sure as hell feels that way.

“You had all day to try to keep me home. You didn’t care until I got all dressed up, P.” She rolls her eyes playfully. Raye shutting off the light and leaving me in the darkness of her bathroom. The sexy scent of her Jimmy Choo perfume briefly puts me in a trance but I get up and follow her anyway.

“That’s ’cause I didn’t expect you to look this…this fucking fine.” My bottom lip can’t help but travel between my teeth as I watch her walk, her boots clicking against the hardwood of her apartment.

“That’s not my problem, babe.”

I scoff. “Don’t go out with ‘em, Raye. You’re telling me we wouldn’t have more fun here?” My voice is suggestive, just enough to make her stutter in her step before slowly pivoting to face me.

She’s processing what to say, and a part of me is begging that she’s going to take her boots off and throw herself at me so I have her as I want for the rest of the night.

Raye struts over to me, pressing her palm against my cheek. We’re nearly at eye level like this, the smell of her hair product wafts up to my nose. I jut my lips out towards her, to be honest I’m not sure I even realized how genuinely needy I was until right then.

“‘M gonna get lipgloss on you.” She sighs.

“On my life, I don’t give a shit.”

It seems enough to get her to give in, enough for Raye to lean in and pull me to her by my tank top, slotting her lips against mine. She tastes like that same faint, sweet, coconut scent of her body wash.

I immediately reach for her hands, lacing her fingers with mine and dragging her other hand down my torso as I deepen the kiss.

She grips the waistband of my shorts, my tongue doesn’t even bother being gentle with the way I shove it between her lips, licking at her tongue in a tangled exchange.

Seemingly, she forgets that she had places to be, which fills me with a sense of pride that sends a rush through me, I think I’ve probably soaked my boxers into nothing by now. Maraye’s phone buzzes in her purse, making her hum in almost…realization.

“They can wait.” I grunt against her lips, our teeth continuing to clash in pure want.

Raye breaks the suction of our mouths, a vulgar popping noise cutting through the soft noise of the TV in the back.

“You can wait.”

“It’s been forever, ma. You gon’ let me go over a week without you? For real?”

A laugh erupts from her mouth, Raye’s thumb brushing under my lip, probably ridding me of any of her now transferred lip product. “There’s food on the stove, don’t touch my AC, and I promise—” the girl pauses, taking the opportunity to sneak a kiss off of me, “— I’ll let you have whatever you want when I get back.”

I can’t do anything more than sigh as I watch her walk away, the sway of her hips and swell of her ass and the light that her kitchen illuminates on those long, brown legs. She picks up her keys and slings her jacket over her arm.

Within seconds she’s gone.

—

When I got to the bar, enveloped in conversation with my girlfriends from college, all it really took was a few shots to get me going. The conversation flowed easily, like we really hadn’t even been apart for as long as we really did. I was having a good time. Which honestly, is surprising considering how much work I’ve been doing for the last handful of months.

The night was calm, the soft noise of 2000’s music pumping through the speakers and the occasional cheers at the expense of tipsy women dancing only a few feet away.

That was until Paige, even as wonderful and perfect as I think she truly is, decided to use my obvious obsession towards her to her advantage.

paige: You doin alright angel?

Yk without your amazing girlfriend and all read 10:38pm

I sip on my margarita, the heat of the alcohol and the almost sudden heat in the pit of my stomach is so strong that they’re one and the same. This is how it starts with her, I’ve learned. Short texts, asking how I am or about my whereabouts. I always find the second question amusing considering she has my location. It’s distracting in a way that makes me forget where I am.

“Oh my God, look at Cass.” My good friend who sits to my left, Nia, points up to my sister. The woman is obviously shit faced, too many drinks taken by this part of the evening. She dances carelessly alongside a few of the other girls.

“I swear she only had a few?” I look shocked, taking a mental note and making sure the only thing Cassie has to drink for the rest of the night is water.

“Multiply that by like, four.”

My ready response is immediately cut off by another text, the blinding light that comes from Paige’s contact makes me roll my eyes.

paige: Read? Wow what position y’all in rn 10:40pm

maraye: oh my god you’re dramatic as hell 😭

i’m fine baby, u? 10:41pm

paige: Nah not rlly

I’m wet as fuck rn just thinking about you

Made a mess on your couch :/ 10:42pm

My breath catches in my throat, coming off as a gasp to Nia. “You okay?”

“Yeah, ‘m fine. Imma head to the bathroom real fast.” I explain, trying my best to mask any possible stutter as I stand up, fixing my skirt. She doesn’t say much, which is a relief to me as I dart off to the bathroom in the back.

This is classic Paige, trying to do anything to get in my head just because she can. And as much as I’d hate to admit that it’s working, it is.

The way she was so straightforward about it, drawing me into the conversation with lighthearted Paige-esque texts only to flip the script into something much more filthy within a matter of minutes.

I lean my back on the singular porcelain sink, gripping my phone in my hands. I reopen our text thread, racking my brain for what to say to her that won’t lead to me making a mess out of my panties.

maraye: paige quit itttt

i literally just got here 10:44pm

paige: I literally don’t care 🤷🏼‍♀️

Can’t get your ass in that skirt outta my head

Got my fingers all sticky and shit 10:45pm

I swear my heartbeat speeds up times fucking ten, my chest heaving like she sucked all the air out of my lungs without even being here.

The picture she just painted in my head makes my knees weak.

Hot and bothered even more than before I left. Paige’s fingers, long and so ridiculously skilled, between her thighs as she got off to me. The thought of her imagining me or looking at pictures of me, it’s so downright dirty that I can’t believe I didn’t indulge in sexting with her before this.

I take a deep inhale, wanting to blink back my thoughts of her coming on my couch, my name off of her lips like a prayer.

paige: 1 Attachment: 1 Video

I think you should come back home 10:47pm

Fumbling with my phone I finally tap the screen and get the video open. It’s pitch black at first, then the view of her lower body fills my whole screen. Paige’s legs spread wide on my couch, a foot propped up on the armrest as she lets out an audible groan.

Her hand tugs up the hem of her wife beater, then her fingers rub circles over her clit. The sound of how wet she is loud, too loud, almost drowning out her moaning. I whine, crossing my legs and shutting my eyes. Maybe if I stopped looking at her I would keep what was left of my sanity.

And then she moans my name, again. My full name. Over and over and fucking over. I can’t help but drag my hand under my skirt, over my panties.

Then she slips three fingers inside, the stretch is obvious but the moan she lets out. Paige curls her fingers inside herself, I watch the camera tremble in response— she’s struggle to hold it still.

Then she’s slamming them in and out, a repetition that makes her almost cry. It sounds like water sloshing on the other side of the phone. Wet. Wet and fucking messy until she comes with a sound that could really only be described as a scream.

maraye: fuck baby 10:50pm

paige: I can’t stop cumming ma

Needa fuck you so bad

Come home 10:50pm

My breathing is ragged, and I know I shouldn’t but I’m considering it heavily. It’s so hard to believe that not even two weeks without her was making me act like this but it was.

maraye: you gotta come get me 10:51pm

paige: Otw read 10:52pm

—

"So, What'd you tell 'em?" I murmur. We sit at a red light, my left hand gripping the steering wheel so hard that even in the late night lighting you can tell how strained they are. But my right hand, trails slowly up Raye's thigh. She didn't fight me, not at all, her legs spreading further in the seat of my Jeep.

I can feel the warmth exuding from her before I even get a chance to press against her cunt.

"Hmm?"

"Your girls. What was your excuse, ma?" I ask again, pressing my foot to the gas pedal as soon as that green light flashes in my face.

My fingers take their time traveling towards her center and the second they do, Raye adjusts in the seat. She pushes her hips up the leather, tipping her head back on the head rest.

"Told 'em you needed a good fuck?" I pull her panties aside, and the second they touch my fingertips I learn that she's fucking soaked. "That you were so fuckin' needy that you had to go home to me, huh?"

The soft sound of PartyNextDoor fills the car alongside the soft hum of pleasure from Raye's lips. My eyes dart down to her, the way she has her eyes glued shut, the heavy rise and fall of her chest. Then I follow the slope of her nose and the tip of her head. The city streetlights make her look like an angel, just glowing.

"Y’were the one begging for me." She groans as I slip my finger inside. The angle puts a slight strain on my wrist but I don't really care. I look back to the road, it's pure luck that the roads tonight are kind of empty.

“It worked tho’ right? Got you just how I want you.” I smirk at the fact, tapping my free hand against the steering wheel.

Raye is so damn warm against me, hugging my middle finger like a vice. "So jus' lemme know. Did you say how wet I make you, that's why you couldn't stay?"

"Oh fuck you." She moans, biting her lip so hard that I think she might draw blood.

“Imma do that, baby. Trust me.” I hum.

Maraye is reactive, if it’s the one thing I’ve noticed about having sex with her, it’s that. Sure the sound of her pussy around my finger is loud but her moans might be louder. Then when I slip in a second finger she lets out a whimper, an almost helpless one.

She tries to steady herself, splaying a hand on my center console but it only does so much. It stabilizes her for a moment until I curl my fingers in that way I know she likes. Her hips jerk up, riding up her skirt in the process.

“You tryna run? I thought you knew better than that, Raye.” I shake my head. I’m lucky we’re on a straight road, it gives me enough time to briefly let my hand leave the wheel to pin her hips down to the seat.

“Y—you’re so good.” She groans, blinking her eyes open. “M’gonna cum.”

I make a swift turn onto her street, racking my brain for all the ways I could turn this woman to putty until the sun came up. “Nah you gonna hold it until we get to yours.” I mutter, dragging my fingers in and out with a fervor. “Then you’re gonna let me fuck you with my cock.”

I watch her jaw fall slack at my words, either in shock or pleasure but regardless it’s addicting. She nods rapidly, whining as I slow my fingers until they’re barely even moving inside her and I finally get a chance to park the car.

“More, baby. Mor—”

“Gonna soak me up the way you’re soaking my seat. Jus’ fuckin’ up my car, huh? You’re gonna give it to me.” I turn my body to face her, gripping her chin so she’s looking at me. My fingers twist inside of her, the squelch of it all catches us both off guard. “Imma stretch you out so wide it hurts. Ruin that pussy, yeah?”

“Yes. God, yes.” Raye nods.

Her eyes roll back, more than enough to make me moan and pull my fingers out. They’re soaked with her arousal, a sheen that drips to my palm. I’m wrapped in the scent of her— sex, perfume, and coconut— a combination that makes me drip down my legs.

“Then let’s go.” I mutter, turning off the car sticking my keys into the pocket of my shorts. My hand comes up to my lips, cleaning them of the mess she had made. “Lemme get you right.”

—

Paige is fucking hot.

Her skin burns under my touch, yes, but it’s everything else too. How her lips chase after mine like I could run away, capturing my bottom lip in her mouth. Her tongue licking past my lips, into my mouth, and onto my tongue.

Our clothes are mostly long gone, my boots and skirt laying somewhere near my front door, and the rest of them occupied random spots across my bedroom floor.

And then that damn harness.

The first time we had sex and she brought up the strap I thought it was all a ploy to turn me on. Don’t get me wrong, it worked, made me cum so hard my legs shook until I fell asleep. But seeing it, seeing the way the dildo hangs from her hips— a long and girthy dark purple— made me drool.

She was blatantly vulgar with it, my cock, the words off her lips so dirty that i’m surprised they turn me on as much as they do. But that’s just Paige, everything she does turns me on.

She tangles her hand behind me to the clasp of my bra which she unclips and forces down my arms. Following that, a slap meets my ass hard. Hard enough that I’m almost positive she left a bruise.

“I been dreaming about this shit, y’know?” She starts. Her teeth nip at my lips, soothing the slight sting with short and soft pecks. “Tearin’ it open, how good that shit would feel.”

I hum against her, letting the blonde push me back against the bed. “That’s what got you so worked up, baby?” I tease. Paige watches me with wide eyes and an even wider mouth as I trail my panties down my legs, they’re soaked from her stunt over the phone and in the car.

“Fuck, Raye, y’ont even know.” She groans.

I watch the way her eyes flutter shut, like she’s imagining it all over again, and her hand travels to the strap. Her hand wraps around it, enough to remind me of how fucking huge her hand is. She strokes it as if it’s an extension of her. There’s a faint buzzing that I hear on the other end, and just knowing she’s getting off too makes this whole thing even more appealing.

“Been thinking about splitting me open, yeah?” I ask as my hands travel up to my chest, gripping my breast before bringing my other hand to my mouth. I’m putting on a show for her licking my fingers and shoving them between my legs, rubbing over my clit. “Make me cum on your cock, baby. Please?” I beg, widening my legs to make room for her.

“Scoot back.” The blonde instructs. And I do. I know better than to work her up some more.

I watch my girlfriend’s spit drip from her mouth and onto the tip as she hovers over me. She spreads it over the silicon before spitting on my cunt too. Paige teases the tip against me and I swear the minute she pushes it inside me, my body heat rises uncontrollably.

“Oh my—shitttt, baby!” I think I feel it in my chest, the pressure that fills me completely. My inner thighs sting as she slides the dildo in to the hilt, letting out a soft gasp that matches my expletive. Paige’s arms cage me in, palms pressed against beside my head as she starts rocking her hips.

I’ve had my fair share of sex and sexual experiences, but this right here, makes everything else I’ve ever done look like child’s play. The stretch is unbelievable. And even if Paige had taken it upon herself to try and prep me with her fingers all this time, they don’t even compare.

It’s so intimate, Paige’s breath fanning against my face and her thin silver chain dangling against me too. Her strokes are slow, and deep. Incredibly deep. She reaches a spot inside of me that hasn’t been tapped before, and she does it fast, almost instantly.

“Talk to me, pretty girl.” She murmurs in my ear. Paige’s hand wraps around my waist, raising my hips just enough to make my eyes water. “Tell me how that pussy feelin’.”

I gasp. “So… so fuckin’ good. Mmmm it’s perfect, baby.”

Paige speeds up, not rapid but just enough that I’m arching my back and throwing my hips down against her. My legs curl around her hips to pull her in deeper.

“Oh shit.” Paige grunts, the vibrator against her cunt coupled with the movement of my hips is stimulating her heavy. “This whatchu needed? Just good dick, yeah? He wasn’t hittin’ it right?”

I dig my nails into her biceps, which are huge from her All-Star break workouts, and shake my head. Her eyes flutter open, lip tucked between her teeth. She looks fucking incredible, Paige’s hair is down for the first time in a while. She’s always pulling it back, but right now with the way it shadows us in a curtain is goddess like.

“Answer me, angel.”

“Uh huh, yes! Fuck yes, I needed it so bad, P.” I moan. Paige only briefly pauses to change her angle, but then she’s right back against me. Skin to fucking skin. She unhooks my leg from around her, pushing it back as far as she could.

Her nose brushes against my own. “You take me so good. Keep suckin’ me up, ma.”

My eyes roll as the coil in my stomach tightens, I don’t think I’ve ever come this fast in my life. The way the strap rakes laboriously into my cunt is toe curling. “Needa cum. Let me, please.” I hiccup. My fingers tangle into her hair, tugging her locks slightly.

“Tell me you love it.”

Those five words are enough to make me fall under a spell. Paige’s voice is laced with fucking drugs, deep and breathy against my mouth.

“I love this shit. Love your cock, baby.” It comes out as almost a cry.

The admission makes Paige smirk and chase after my mouth, locking our lips in a kiss that draws the orgasm out of my body. She moans all high and drawn out into my mouth meshing our tongues messily.

“You wanna cum, Raye?” She stutters. I notice it, obviously. The change in her pitch and the way she slightly trips over her words. She’s close, probably overstimulated from her activities on my couch.

“Please?”

“I want it, baby. Cum for me.”

And I do. Gushing over the silicone almost instantly. Paige helps me ride it out, kissing the corner of my mouth before trailing her lips to my cheek. “Good girl. My perfect girl.” She hums.

She carefully pulls out, trying to be as gentle as she possibly can but I still hiss at the feeling. A whimper leaves my lips at the empty feeling, I miss her inside me already.

Paige flops beside me on the bed, she’s watching me catch my breath. I can feel her eyes on me even though i’m not looking at her. Her eyes like lasers, scanning over me. The blue says everything she’s yet to.

“Just say you wanna go again.”

She laughs at that while throwing her arm over my hip. It rests heavy on my abdomen. I finally turn my head to her, the sweat on her entire body only makes the chain on her neck glisten in the light.

“C’mere.” It comes out as a whimper and I can only assume it’s from the dull stimulation from the vibrator. Paige reaches for my hips, helping me straddle her hips. I happily lean down to her, kissing her perfect pink lips with a smile. “Ride it.”

I take the length in my hand, my release now decorating my palm. I tease my own entrance then sink down on it slowly. The feeling is even more foreign than taking her in missionary.

Before I even get the chance to take every inch my hands fly to her chest, I plant my palms on her for stability.

“Too big?” It’s one of the first times I’m unsure if she’s serious or just teasing. I press my forehead against Paige’s, my chest heaving and breathless moans leaving my mouth.

“N—No. Jus’ full. So full, P. Fuck.” I dart my head into the crook of her neck whining like an animal as she pushes me down her cock. I swear it sits in my stomach.

Her large and veiny hands grip my ass, she starts the pace off slow, using me like a fucking toy. “Y’know I gotchu.” Paige whispers into my ear.

“It’s—mmph— so fuckin’ deep. I can’t, baby.” I moan again, trailing my hand back to her hair as if the blonde locks would ground me.

It’s like Paige’s demeanor shifted within a matter of seconds. She’d been soft all night, at least for the most part, but the way her hand slaps my ass is anything but soft. “One month with me and you can’t take dick no more? What happened, mama? You were talking all that shit—”

I cut her off by getting on my toes and the first grind of my hips shuts her up. Her groan was thick, the kind of gruff sound that made it seem like she was barely hanging on herself. The blonde nips at my collarbone.

Paige watches me like a hawk, her breathing heavy and jaw slightly slack. “M’fucking God, Raye. Ohhh shit— you’re a fuckin’ slut.” She moans. Her body falls deeper into the stack of pillows, leaning back just enough to look over my body. My tits in her face and her strap sliding in and out of my soaked cunt.

“Your s-slut tho’. Right, baby?”

“Yeah. All fucking mine, ride me like a pro.”

The way her eyes snap shut makes me work harder. I bounce on the balls of my feet, any previous inhibitions disappearing as soon as I saw how good it was for her. How her legs trembled under me.

I bite my lip in an attempt to keep quiet, much to Paige’s dismay. She reaches for my bottom lip, untucking it from my mouth and forcing her thumb inside instead. I suck on it instantly, throwing my hips down harder.

“Feels so good, P…” I mumble around her finger. “S’in my stomach.”

“I know, ma. So tight, for me.” She groans. Paige’s hips snap up into mine, instantly ruining any rhythm I had for myself. I scream erupts from my throat, one I didn’t even know I was holding back until she does it again.

Her thumb leaves my mouth, hands gripping my hips, nails digging into the skin. I meet her halfway, matching her thrusts with my grinds. “Gonna cum. Need it, baby. Needa nut in this pussy, fuck.” Paige babbles, her better judgment clouded by the need to get off.

It’s sexy. Her voice frays around the edges, suddenly becoming much more weak than before.

“You love this pussy, right, baby?”

“Mmm. Love it, love this shit. Oh my God.”

There’s only been a few times I’ve gotten to see Paige fall apart. Like fully lose all of her dominance and just lose herself. This is easily one of those times.

“Raye, I’m— fuuckkkk, you feel so good, damn.” She tosses her head back, moan after moan meeting my ears as she finishes. And there’s a part of me, that hopes all the literal inaccuracies dissipate and she does come in me. Deep inside until I’m dripping with it.

That picture makes me work faster. She’s overwhelmed, clawing at my hips but I don’t care. The need to finish myself clouds my brain.

“Ma, hold on. Fuck, hold on.”

“Needa get mine too. Don’t be selfish, P.” I grumble. I sit back on my knees, grinding my hips back and forth. I don’t hold back anything for a single second, moaning and crying out her name. Paige’s hips jerk up, and that jerk pushes me over the edge.

I squirt. Hard.

I think I go blind for a minute, nothing but stars in my vision. Paige clutches my hips, I hear the whimper that comes from her. Getting off on my own orgasm.

When I finally stop, Paige is quick to turn the vibrator off, letting out a breath I didn’t even know she was holding in. She helps me off of her and my legs, that literally feel like jelly, give out immediately. I fall to her side, and the room is filled with a comforting silence.

Paige looks at me, it was caring at first, eyes silently asking me if I was alright. To which I responded with a small nod. Then it shifts. She looks smug.

“What?”

“I took your girl virginity.” She sings, making me roll my eyes.

“I hate you.” I mutter.

“Oh I bet you do.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm Late But Who Cares?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2025 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Oh no my babies are in trouble! I actually don’t mind the coming out being part of the conflict, it’s rare to see these days, but it was more common in early BL. This show feels like such a throwback Thai BL anyway, that it’s sort of goes with the story. Of course it was conflict that was resolved almost immediately. But honestly I’m so charmed by the show I don’t mind any of this.

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - still enjoying but annoyed by Jun. I’m glad everybody’s feelings have been made clear, Iun is too much a little shit for the way he went about it. The hand holding was very cute tho. 

Truer words! When a character reveals the entire plot of a show.

The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - Phu’s friends are the best. I love them so much. Still cautiously enjoying this.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - Why are Kant’s pants always too short in this show? Meanwhile, the plot progresses as expected. But it’s OK. I’m enjoying it enough. I like that Kant, who is slightly evil, is willing to go even more evil for the man he loves. It was a twist I was not expecting. I believe it less with Style. Oh my, have we turned into a caper all of a sudden? Huh. This was a good episode. But then I do like a caper.

I’m also gonna mention briefly that I see you Heart Killers for using old tropes in a new way. The bleacher shot (Lovesick callback), the empty pool. Very very clever.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 17 end - Nice solid ending I remain more interested in the couples we never got but i hope we get a season 2. 

Conclusion

A standard university Thai BL centering around two couples (med student meets engineering youth) in two parts (chasing the forever dragon that is 2 Moons). This was watchable but not much more than that with nice optics. Best if you can get hold of the extended (sexy) version especially for the second couple. 8/10 

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 14 of 24 - Wine is totally getting the "good one." Faifa (hands-down my favorite character in the series) is the master of the sarcastic ja particle. He’s very clever with it. Pay attention if particles in Thai interest you. I don’t understand why Yotha it’s so special that everybody’s willing to cater to his erratic whims.

(Am I the only one who thinks that Book and Santa should lead a BL together?)

Sangmin Dinneaw (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - This is such an odd show. But it was a very nice kiss. And more.  And I love the boy admiring his marks after. Nice touch.

Flirt Milk (Sat YT) ep 2 or 10 - everyone behaves like a complete idiot and it’s driving me nuts.

Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I dislike most of the characters in this show, but I truly loathe the daughter character.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

When it Rains it Pours (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - I continue to enjoy this more every week, and I’m really looking forward to next week. (Shocker.)

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 8 of 12 - no ep this week, Happy New Year! 

Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds Viki) eps 4 of 9 - It’s modestly enjoyable but of all the relationships I think I like the brothers the best. I mostly have a smile on my face when I watch it, but so far it’s eminently forgettable. To the point where I occasionally forget to watch it when it airs. That said it looks like next week we’re getting very Taiwanese. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 17 of ?? - sigh

It's airing but......

I Will Turn Back Time (China Gaga) 6 eps - It’s Chinese, no idea if it will end well or not. But it’s the stepbrothers trope. Still, I’m not gonna watch it until it’s done.

In Case You Missed it

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai) - It's done. Spies reported in the following: Not recommend. "Lots of awkward silence and muddled story. Abrupt ending. Doesn't lean into either the romance or the prison aspect." So yeah, I'm leaving it a DNF.

End of year wraps are here!

2024 Trend Report

MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024

Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024

BL's 2024 Quirky Awards

2024 Awards - Quick Picks

Next Week Looks Like This:

*** Yeah we already in it and my calendar is a complete mess, so no visual for you. ***

On now: FC Soldout (Korea iQIYI) 8eps - sports BL, football player meets actor.

2/14 Exclusive Love (Taiwan Gaga) - Shy aspiring singer inherits funeral business.

2/27 Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) - Stars Wei's Kim Jun Seo. Adapted by Cradle Studio (Kakao). About clever and resourceful Daon who has worked hard to overcome being poor. His cheap ways annoy his coworker, Sunghyeon but after “an incident” with his parents, Daon grows closer to him. But Daon also has feelings for his former tutor. This has the signs of a classic Kdrama all over it: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. I’m optimistic about a longer treatment.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Best line in BL history? Possibly

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[princessmaeee]

All for Us Part VI _ Final Part Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

Hello Sweeties ! So as I saw in the votes, you asked for this L A S T par of this story, so there it is ! It's not that long cause I didn't had much to say. I just wanted to do a beautiful and simple end cause I think both deserve it. It wasn't a long Story, but it was long compare to everything I wrote in the last years and I'm proud of myself ! I realised later than the title is kinda bad cause I just made a bad translation from the french but the good title should be '' Everything for Us '' but I will let it like it is cause, Why not. My first Fanfiction in years, my first fanfiction I finishied since my highschool years ( 11 years at least ) and my first published Smut in Years too. Overall I'm proud of myself and I wish I will do more other stories and I hope to be able to finish them all. Thanks to everyone who followed and Love this story. I hope to see you again for other ones !

Tags : @private-vampire - @rafesbunniebby - @ultracoolnobody @chxrrybomb22

You didn't remember what happened after you voted to go home. It was the majority of you. You remembered Thanos voting X too, but after the light off, everything was fuggy. When you opened your eyes, you were on the dirty ground where you were picked when you joined the game. You had a blindfold, well you guessed it was it, who had felt it on your neck. Your feets and wrists were tied up and you could feel the cold breeze of the night. Those bastards let you in underwear in the middle of a street. Luckily for you, You noticed your clothes close to you and after a moment, trying to untie your wrist, you quickly do the same for your legs before putting on your clothes. 

Your phone was in the pocket of your sweater and of course, it ran out of energy. Your apartment keys were still in your jean’s pocket. 

You felt tired and durty. A good bath and 24h hours of sleep is going to be well deserved, but first, you need to check on something.

You go to the nearest convenient store and put your card in the ATM to take a look at your account. Your heart was racing in your chest. What if it was just a dream ? What if they lied ? 

Even if you didn't felt right to be happy, you couldn't stop smiling when you noticed the big amount of money you had in your account. Tears of joy appeared in your eyes, slowly cascading on your cheeks. Finally, The suffering and anxiety will be over. A hand on your stomach, you smiled at it.

«-I promise, You gonna have a beautiful Life…»

Once you got home, as you expected, the door locks were smashed. The guys who were chasing you for money probably entered the apartment while you weren't there.

Stressed, you opened the door and you felt sad to notice how everything was destroyed. This didn't look nice anymore, but you still have to stay there, at least until you could join Thanos or even that guy who messed up your apartment to give him the money. 

Plugging your phone to the charger, you start to clean around as much as you can. 

After a moment, when your house was clean enough for the energy you had, you go back to your phone and noticed a lot of unread messages from the guy who landed you money. Unsure, you text him back a simple ; I have your money. Let meet up Tomorrow.

You also get a Message, well, many, from Thanos. He seemed anxious about you and the baby.

“-Had you made it home yet ? “ -23h07 “-You can come to my place if you want “ 23h12 “-Or I can come over “ -23h13 “-Princess Are you all right ?” -23h20 “-I Got the money from the game. I can send you some if you want. “ -23h22 “-I know your debts are all my fault anyway…”-23h22 “-Seniorita Please answer me. Are you alright ? Is the baby’s fine ??!! ”-23h25 “-If I don't get an answer I'm going to show up at your place ! “-23h33 “-Okey I'm coming !! ” -23h45

You looked at the time : 23h55.  You smiled and answered him 

“-I'm fine, my phone Ran out of power. No need to come over. Go at your place and rest “ - 23h56 “-I want to rest with You. Gonna bring snack. What do you want ? Ice Cream and Pinault butter ?”-23h58 “-Im Fine!! And of course Not, I don't have  any weird pregnancy cravings. “-00h00 “-Not Yet ;) Anyway, still on my way…with snacks”-00h08

Your smile never left your face. Thanos was always really caring with you but somehow you feel like it was different this time, like he really made an effort and it made you happy.

When he arrived, he opened the door as you were still cleaning up the apartment. He looked around, visibly confused by all the mess around.

«-What happened here ? »

You explained to him the problems you got cause of your debts who’s also his or cause of him. Thanos felt bad you had to go traught all this cause of his addiction and helped you to clean as much as possible. Once everything was less messy, you both enjoyed some Snacks he bring and that’s when you realised how hungry you were. He bought you some of your favorite Ramen, chips and little cake. 

He also gave you an envelope with money. It was the exact amount you need to give to the guy you will meet tomorrow. He apologized and insisted you keep it. You felt touched by this and accepted his money.

«-I really want you to keep the money you get from the game for our child. And for Yourself, of course.  -What about your own debts ? -I will figure it out. And I still have some left so don’t worry about me. I want to go back to music and earn money of my own. I want to make you and our child proud. And for something else… -Something else ? Like what ? A home ? It's pretty expensive. -Well, not for a home, but it could be a plan for later. The other thing dépend more on your decision. -which is ? »

You both were sitting on your bed and Thanos got up  to kneel in front of you, gently taking your hand in his. You looked at him, breathtaking. Your heart stops beating for a second before it starts to beat faster. You could feel your eyes feeling with water.

«- Y/N would you accept to be my wife ? »

You were too shocked to answer. Tears flowing from your eyes as you just quickly nod  your head. It wasn't the romantic scene you always dream of, but coming from Su Bong it was the most romantic thing he ever did. Even if you were both exhausted, still in debts and even if you didn’t have a Ring for you, yet, this moment felt the happiest of your life. You throw yourself in his arms, still crying as you repeat ‘’ Yes ! ‘’ Again and again. Su Bong smiled and held you close, gently caressing your hair.

«-My dear and Beautifull Wife, He said before kissing you. »

This relationship with him was a total rollercoaster of emotion, but your love for each other was just too strong to let you away from each other. Faith does good things, sometimes.

The next day goes well, you got rid of your debts, Thanos started to go to therapy to avoid touching drugs again, so did you.

You moved In together, he worked on new music, new songs, starting to slowly go back on stage while you went back to school. You dropped one year ago but you chose an option you really like. It wasn’t easy with the pregnancy and Had to do a lot of school classes and take more time.

Life with your Now, fiancé wasn’t alway easy. When he felt the side effect of always being sober you fighted a lot, but at the end He apologies and you were understanding considering all the efforts he did for you, the baby and your relationship. Sometime, you fucked to avoid fighting or when Su bon needed a big high. He said you were his new addiction and even dedicated you to a song where He talks about how much He loves you and how you changed his life.

Eventually, you gave birth to a beautiful Daughter. Su bon said once he really would like to have a boy, but when He hold his little baby daughter in his arms for the first time, he almost cried and didn't let go of her. He quickly became over protective with her. He also wrote a song about her and it became a great hit. That’s how He were able to afford your engagement ring.

Your life goes back on track and you feel happy despite what you had been taught with the game. You and Su Bong got a matching tattoo with the number you were during the game as a sort of memorial for the ones who died in there but also as a reminder to yourself to be careful with your money and every decision you will take, cause you never want to live an experience like that ever again.

[jenosonlywife23]

Chasing Paradise

a\n; Hope you guys liked this, i tried to write it like the show but i just cant seem to get it right. This was so hard for me to write. Also imagine Haechan on singles inferno dang!!

The sun beat down on the sandy beach of Inferno as you adjusted your hat, trying to shield yourself from the blazing heat. You’d spent days preparing yourself for this experience, convincing yourself that auditioning for Single’s Inferno was your chance to break free from the tangled mess of feelings you harbored for Haechan. But nothing—nothing—could’ve prepared you for the moment he stepped onto the island, grinning like he owned the place.

Your jaw had practically hit the floor as he sauntered toward the group of contestants. For a split second, you thought you were hallucinating. But no, it was really him. Lee Donghyuck—your best friend, the person you’d spent countless nights laughing and bickering with—was now standing in front of you.

“What… what are you doing here?” you stammered, your shock evident.

He smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief. “What does it look like? I’m here to find love.”

The contestants exchanged curious glances, intrigued by your reaction. You barely noticed, your focus entirely on him. “You followed me, didn’t you?”

“Followed you?” He raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. “I didn’t even know you auditioned.”

You crossed your arms, glaring at him. “Mark told you, didn’t he?”

His grin widened, and he shrugged. “Maybe. But can you blame me? What kind of best friend would I be if I just let you flirt with random guys on TV?”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, but you refused to let it show. Instead, you huffed and turned away, ignoring the amused whispers from the other contestants.

The days in Inferno passed in a blur of challenges, mingling, and the occasional heated arguments between you and Haechan. He was everywhere—flirting with the other girls, cracking jokes during group meals, and somehow managing to steal your attention no matter how hard you tried to focus on anyone else.

One day, during a challenge where the contestants competed to win a night in Paradise, Haechan outperformed everyone, earning the coveted prize. When it came time to choose someone to join him, he didn’t hesitate.

“I choose **** ,” he announced, his eyes locking on yours.

You looked towards the contestants clearly surprised. You hesitated for a moment, but the soft, hopeful look in his eyes made it impossible to refuse.

Paradise was breathtaking—a luxurious escape from the harsh conditions of Inferno. The two of you lounged by the pool, sipping on drinks and enjoying the rare moments of peace.

“This is nice,” you admitted, glancing at him.

He smiled, his usual teasing demeanor replaced by something gentler. “Yeah. It’s not bad having you here with me.”

You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “So, what’s your plan? Win me over with fancy dinners and sunsets?”

“Maybe,” he said, leaning closer. “Or maybe I’m just hoping you’ll realize I’m the only guy here who really knows you.”

His words sent a jolt through your chest, but before you could respond, he leaned back, his smirk returning. “Anyway, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

But not every day was like that.

A week later, after a heated argument over something trivial—you couldn’t even remember what started it—Haechan didn’t choose you during another challenge. Instead, he picked another contestant, leaving you fuming.

Fine. Two could play that game.

You found yourself spending more time with one of the other guys, a charming contestant named Jinyoung (def not talking abt dex lol)who was clearly interested in you. He was sweet, attentive, and always made sure you felt comfortable.

Haechan noticed.

Every time he saw you laughing with Jinyoung or sitting a little too close to him during meals, his jaw tightened, and his usual playful attitude became sharper, more biting.

“You’re really into this guy, huh?” he said one evening, cornering you near the fire pit.

You raised an eyebrow, refusing to rise to his bait. “What’s it to you?”

He scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “Nothing. Just thought you had better taste.”

“Oh, you mean like my taste in friends who audition for dating shows without telling me?” you shot back.

His eyes narrowed, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. The tension between you was suffocating, and you could feel the curious glances of the other contestants.

The final day arrived, and with it came the moment of truth. As the host explained the rules one last time, your heart pounded. Who would you leave with—if anyone?

You waited anxiously as the decisions unfolded, your mind racing with doubts and emotions. And then, it was Haechan’s turn.

He stepped forward, his gaze fixed on you.

“I came here because of you,” he began, his voice steady but laced with vulnerability. “I didn’t plan on confessing my feelings on TV, but… I couldn’t just sit back and watch you with someone else. You’ve always been the person I wanted. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Your breath caught in your throat as he continued. “So, if you’ll have me… I want to leave here with you.”

The world seemed to blur as you stepped forward, your heart pounding. “You’re still an idiot for not telling me sooner.”

He grinned, his eyes lighting up. “Guess I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, then.”

As you walked off the beach together, hand in hand, you couldn’t help but smile. Maybe this crazy journey had been worth it after all.

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 45

Chapter 45 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Buck and Chris get swept up by the tsunami. Buck tries his best to keep Chris safe and sheltered from the worst of it, however, the receding tide still takes him. Buck has to find him again, he can’t lose Chris, can’t lose their son.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie

Warnings: insecurity, self loathing, injury, minor character death mention, near death experience

~~~

Chapter 45: Just Keep Swimming

A tsunami. Buck honestly isn’t sure why he didn’t expect it with how life has just been one disaster after another lately, but somehow this wasn’t on his planning this morning when he took Chris to the pier.

Sitting here on a fire engine from what he’s pretty sure is Bosko’s unit, surrounded by people he pulled from the water, he regrets not at least calling out a hi to her when he saw her on the pier earlier.

It felt too awkward to so then, since she is housing his husband and he at some point thought said husband was having an affair with her, but now he would kill for someone to know that they’re out here. It was such a spur of the moment thing that he didn’t mention it to anyone. They’re sitting ducks right now.

The only thing that is keeping him sane, is that Chris is right next to him.

He feels horrible about Chris being out here in this with him. If they’d just stayed home today, they wouldn’t have been in this mess. But no, Buck dragged Chris out to the pier, because he wanted to make right that Eddie has been driven away by something involving Buck. Now Chris just has another traumatic event to add to the list. And that’s his fault.

However, now is not the time to focus on how awful he feels, he needs to focus on Chris. Despite the terrible day he’s having, he’s being plenty cheerful. It’s very Chris, and Buck is glad life hasn’t crushed his spirit yet as they play I Spy together.

If the circumstances were different, he might have paid more attention to the other people he pulled from the water. However, no one appeared seriously injured, so as long as that stays the same, he forgives himself for not having the best bedside manners right now.

He’s off the clock anyway and not even officially a firefighter again, he can be forgiven for wanting to focus on his own kid. He did enough already by leaving him alone on the fire engine to pull everyone else out the water. Buck is a firefighter in his heart, so that went without saying, but he’s too tired to divide his attention between everyone else and Chris. Paramedic has always been more Hen or Chimney’s, or even Eddie’s job.

“Okay, I spy with my little eye, something that…” Buck looks to see what he can find. “Moves people around.”

Chris peers around quite adorably at the debris that is floating by to see what Buck is spying. “Oh, a scooter,” Chris realizes quickly, spotting what Buck had spied.

“Ah, yeah, nice one,” Buck says, having hoped it would be a little more difficult to find. He wants to be able to drag this game out as long as he can, so Chris has something to focus on other than the fact that they’re stuck on a fire engine while waiting for rescue or until the water goes down. But he can’t get disheartened yet, so he nudges Chris and prompts: “Okay, genius, your turn.”

“I spy,” Chris looks around much like Buck had a few seconds ago, “a shopping cart.”

“What? No, come on. Hey, that’s not how the game works. You can’t just yell stuff out,” Buck tells him.

“But, papi, yelling stuff out is the fun part!” Chris yells loudly, big grin on his face.

Buck’s heart just bursts with affection. He loves this kid so goddamn much and he is so grateful to the universe that it let him have this, even if it might not be forever, he gets to be here now. He pulls Chris into a side hug, leaning his cheek against Chris’s wet curls as he says: “You amaze me, buddy.”

“Why?”

“I know you’ve had a rough few weeks and you were pretty down yesterday. When I was a kid and I got bad news, I always got so mad, but you, after the day you had, here you are, with a big smile, busting a gut,” Buck chuckles. Then emotion overtakes him and the memory of the fear makes his voice waver. “You never gave up. Even when that water was rushing over you back there. You just kept on swimming.”

“Like Dory,” Chris says, referencing a movie they’d watched together a couple of times. Buck hadn’t even realized the words Dory sang so often had come out until Chris said that.

“Yeah, like Dory,” he smiles. “And not just today, you know, but every day. You never say no, you never complain.” It’s suddenly very important to Buck that Chris knows how impressed he is with him, that he thinks he’s the best, that he’s proud of him. “You’re such a good kid, Superman, and I keep being blown away by you. How do you do that? You didn’t get that from me, that’s for sure.”

Chris has a pleased look on his face as he explains: “Well, I complained once, but it didn’t work.”

Buck could point out that Chris complained more than once whenever it was early, but he still had to do PT or when he had to go to bed…

However, he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t want to waste time that suddenly feels so limited correcting Chris, he wants to know him. Know him the best he can, hold as many pieces of this amazing kid in his heart. “So what did you do?”

“I just kept on swimming, papi. Like Dory,” Chris shrugs simply.

God, Chris is going to make Buck cry. He’s been trying so hard not to cry, to not let Chris see how scared he was and still is, how dangerous their situation is. Yet, here he is, nearly loosing that fight with himself because of Chris.

He’s witnessed the kid go through so much heartbreak. From Shannon leaving, to Eddie having to re-enlist, to Eddie getting seriously hurt, to uprooting his whole life to move here, to Buck getting hurt, to Eddie pulling away, to this. Buck doesn’t know where he gets the resilience. Eddie is stubborn sure, and so is Buck, and the fiery attitude Chris gets from Shannon, but this? It’s pure Chris.

It makes Buck want to hold Chris closer, hug him tightly and wish nothing else will happen to him, that nothing will ever break his spirit. But he doesn’t want to start acting weird, doesn’t want to worry Chris. So, he just pulls him a little closer to his side and takes a deep breath.

“Oh my god, look over there,” a man exclaims, pulling Buck out of his thoughts as he tries to see what they’re talking about.

“Oh my god.” “Oh no.” Two women also exclaim their horror and Buck now sees why. It’s no longer just debris that is floating by, but a group of bodies.

Chris hasn’t seen the bodies yet and Buck needs to make sure he never will. He could never live with himself if he let Chris see that. Nor could Eddie. God, Eddie will probably be so pissed at Buck. He trusted Buck to look out for Chris, to take care of him when he couldn’t, but Buck only got him caught up into a literal disaster and now Chris might see his first corpse.

Moving quickly, he settles Chris sideways, doing a little swoop as he sits him down to make it seem playful as he cups Chris’s cheek to further guide his eyes away and says: “I- I spy with my little eye, something that is,” he looks around desperately, “high.”

Success. Chris looks up and away from the bodies, peering at the buildings surrounding them to find what Buck is spying, thankfully not yet bored of the game. “A street sign?” he guesses.

Buck looks over at the bodies to see where they are. Still too close for comfort. In fact, way too close in general. They’re right next to the engine, if Buck wanted to touch them, all he’d have to do is reach out his hand.

Despite not having picked anything as the object for I Spy, Buck shakes his head: “Uh, high- higher than that. Like, whoa…” to keep up the charade.

Chris guesses a window, a street light and a cloud, before the bodies have passed. When Buck finally reveals the answer was the air-conditioning unit in one of the windows, Chris huffs: “I don’t wanna play this game anymore.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Buck sighs in a manner that may be a bit too honest as he goes to sit next to Chris. His leg hurts like a motherfucker and he’s exhausted.

It seems to last forever until a rescue mission is set up, though logically he knows they’re probably already out there, getting through is just hard and organizing enough boats is rough. Still, he’d give a lot to see firefighters on the horizon. Especially the 118.

God, what he wouldn’t give to see the 118 right now. To have the most competent people he knows come to rescue them, so he knows this nightmare is behind him.

The 118 will have Eddie too. He wants to see Eddie so bad right now. The man will likely be angry with him for endangering Chris, but he’d at least be here with him. He’s missed him being by his side so much and even though he knows it will likely be his new reality soon, in this moment he’d give anything to have the fantasy of a them again. He needs the comfort, even when he won’t know what to do when he’ll get it.

“I don’t know what we’re gonna tell daddy,” he says, more to fill the silence and distract himself from his own thoughts than anything else. “You know, we don’t invite him one time and, uh, look what happens.”

He doesn’t know what he expected from Chris. Maybe a snippy comment, like Eddie sometimes does, or another blasé comment about their situation. Instead he gets a soft and honest: “You saved me. And you saved them.”

Buck looks over at the others that Chris indicated. They all look half-drowned and beaten up, but they’re alive. He makes eye contact with one of the women he pulled out early on and she smiles at him, the younger woman huddled next to her doing the same. Automatically he smiles back.

If he’s honest, he doesn’t think he did anything big, just did his job. However, Chris doesn’t think so. Chris thinks he saved them, that he’s a hero. The tears he managed to fight off return and he has to swallow to stop them from falling.

To deflect, he says: “No, we did that together. Me and you make a great team. Give me a high five,” as he holds up his hand. He means it too, he wouldn’t have made it through this without Chris right there next to him.

Chris high fives him as Buck continues: “I’m proud of you. Really,” because Chris needs to hear that. He pulls Chris into a hug, hoping that’ll make the message sink in more.

As Chris loops his arms around Buck in return, he says: “Thank you, papi.”

“No, thank you,” Buck whispers into Chris’s shoulder. It’s not the most eloquent thing he’s ever said, but it’ll have to do, because he can’t think of anything else to say.

The sounds of water rushing makes him pull back slightly from the hug so he can see what’s going on.

Indeed, the water that had been calm a second ago is now flowing again and it’s flowing fast, too fast. It’s shaking the fire engine and pulling the debris along to bash against the sides of their refuge that now seems more fragile than it should.

Buck immediately grips Chris tightly, as he shouts to the others: “Everybody get down! Get down and hold on! Hold on!”

Further up a shelter must have failed to withstand the wave, because there are calls for help coming from between the debris and when Buck looks up over the cabin of the fire engine, there are people getting dragged forwards by the water as they wave for help.

Torn, he looks between Chris and the people yelling for help. He should definitely go help them, but he should also definitely make sure Chris is okay.

In the end, helping the people wins out, Chris is already okay. The fire engine is holding up and a safe space to hide out on until this is over. Besides, Chris thinks he saved the people already on there, he can’t let him see him just sit and do nothing while people need help. It’s not in his nature and it’s not what he wants Chris to think of his papi.

So he tells Chris to hold on, then goes to lay over the roof of the front cabin, so he can hold out his hand for the people drifting towards them to grab.

He is just pulling up a man, when something rams into the engine, shaking it violently. He hears something that could be the start of ‘papi’ before there is a splash. The realization of what that could be washes over him and he turns around just in time to see Chris disappear into the waves.

In a wave of adrenaline, he pulls the man aboard, injuring his arm in the process, but he doesn’t care as he abandons any sort of rescuing mission he was aiding at the other side of the engine as he goes to scanning the water to find Chris, calling out: “Chris? Christopher! Christopher! No! Christopher! Christopher! CHRIS!”

There is no Christopher to call back.

Without hesitation, he dives into the water after him. The chances of managing to grab him again are very low and it’s a stupidly dangerous thing to do, but none of that even registers for Buck. His son needs him, he’s going to fucking get to him, danger be damned.

If Chris was difficult to spot from the engine, it’s downright impossible to find him in the chaos of the water. Buck’s screams keep getting cut off by the water invading his mouth and just keeping himself above the water is an exhausting task. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get to Chris when he finally does find him.

As it turns out, he never gets to find out. A cluster of debris rams into him, pushing all the air out of his lungs, before dragging him down under as his foot gets stuck. Helplessly he tugs at it, vision whiting out from the pain, since of course it has to be his bad leg.

Before he can drown, the debris cluster hits a building and so does Buck. It wrenches at his leg, making him pass out, but freeing him in the process.

Buck floats down towards the sea unconscious for another second, before hitting a street sign, which wakes him up again. He flails about and almost drowns a dozen more times, before he grabs onto what at one point was wind indicator, but is now a broken pole where debris congregates.

He looks around desperately for Chis, calling out his name, but there is no response nor sign from the kid anywhere.

The heavy feeling of defeat settles in his bones as he clings to that pole, sporadically getting hit by debris as slowly the water level goes down. No miracle happens. Chris doesn’t appear. He hits the ground with a sharp pain in his leg and Chris nowhere in sight.

Chris is gone.

He lost him.

Buck lost him.

How is he ever going to live with himself? How is he ever going to tell Eddie? Buck left Chris alone for a second to save someone he didn’t even know. He let Chris fall. He let Chris drown. Buck lost him. He lost their son.

And for what? To save some people he doesn’t know? When Maddie was kidnapped by Doug and in serious danger, he hesitated, because he wanted to come home to his family, preserve what he had. Yet, here he abandoned Chris, the one person he wanted to come home to, because he wouldn’t understand.

He abandoned Chris right in front of his face, left him behind with nothing more than a ‘hold on’ while he focused on someone else. What kind of person is he? What does it say about him that he would abandon his sister for himself and his son for a stranger?

How will he ever look Eddie in the eye and tell him their son died, because Buck was playing the hero?

Buck isn’t on the clock right now, is still on medical leave. He’s a firefighter, sure, but he isn’t coming in after the fact to help with the rescue like those that are out there right now. He was hit by that wave, in the thick of the disaster. He’s a victim here, someone to be saved. He didn’t need to help anyone.

He should have left all those people behind to die. He should have held Chris as tightly as he could and never let him go, no matter what was happening around them.

‘You saved me. And you saved them.’

Chris’s words from before echo through his mind and he lifts his head to the sky to keep the tears in. He didn’t save anyone, especially not Chris. But it is how Chris sees him. He saves people. It’s why he couldn’t have abandoned anyone.

Because Buck is Buck and Buck saves people. He can still remember Chris bragging to his grandparents how his papi and daddy are heroes. How could he disappoint him by leaving those people when Chris was already safe beside him?

Chris was safe.

He was supposed to be safe.

Buck was supposed to keep him safe, but he failed. He failed and he has to fix this.

Determination comes over him and he uses the pole to steady himself. His ribs are bruised, maybe even broken and he has a headache like no other, not to mention his leg hurting almost worse than when he first got the injury. However, none of that matters, he has a mission to complete. He has to find Chris.

There is nothing else for him to worry about now. He is going to find Chris even if it kills him and he’s going to bring him home. He’s going to face Eddie with an alive Chris. He refuses to face an alternate reality.

Eddie is probably out there somewhere, helping people. That is his job. Eddie is out there as a firefighter, Buck is out here as a father. It’s his job to find Chris. They’ve always shared the responsibility, passed it back and forth to make it manageable. Right now, Buck holds the responsibility. He won’t fuck that up. Buck fixes things, he can fix this too.

It doesn’t matter that Eddie has been pulling away recently, that he’s figuring himself out. The two of them are still a unit as they’ve always been. Just because Eddie is going to leave Buck, doesn’t mean that their little family is gone entirely. They still have each other’s back out in the field, so Buck needs to have his back.

Buck will always be connected to Eddie through Chris. Eddie trusts him with Chris’s safety, trusts him to watch him while Eddie takes the space he needs. Just like Buck trusted him with Chris when he was chasing after Maddie or in the hospital.

Of course he’ll always love Eddie, he loves him so fucking much, but Chris was the first Diaz that stole his heart, albeit in a different way.

Eddie feels like safety and home. He feels like a solid rock that Buck can always come back to and be met with open arms. He knows Buck wholly and he never left. Not really. He had to enlist and recently he ran. However, he never left. He stayed close, he didn’t abandon him. Buck believes that somehow, sometime, they’ll come back to each other, even if it’s as nothing other than friends.

But Chris- Chris is his kid. His best friend, who amazes him every day. He loves Chris so much. Chris, who is so small, who has been entrusted to Buck, who he has nurtured and seen grow into such an amazing person. Chris is a piece of his soul, that is just walking around. Chris relies on him, looks at him for guidance, for comfort, for parenting. Buck will never take that for granted.

The thought is enough to propel him forward into action. He straightens himself up and looks around. The water pulled them back out to the sea, Chris was taken by the same tide as him, he probably washed up somewhere close to him. He just has to start searching, he’s bound to find Chris at some point.

It’s worse than having to find a needle in a haystack, but he ignores that part of reality. Thinking like that isn’t going to get him anywhere, isn’t going to fix this. Chris is still out there. He has to be.

Those first few steps he nearly buckles under the pain, but he has to keep moving. He doesn’t have time for pain and he knows he can keep pushing through. The human limit is much further than most people think, he’s seen people push through things much worse than a few bruises and a twisted ankle.

It’s a struggle at first. The water is still coming to his waist and slowly flowing back to the sea, so pushing against him. However, after a few near misses that send his heart beat skyrocketing, he gets into a rhythm.

Looking around, he sees that what is left of the pier is to his left and that the fire engine they took shelter on is also left from his position, even if it’s further inland. The water must have pulled him right, which means it pulled Chris right too.

He turns his back on both places and heads right.

Around him, more people are making their way through the disaster towards higher ground. Buck makes sure to take a good look at every person he passes, trying to see if he can catch sight of Chris, found by someone else. Safe.

No luck.

Turning onto a street, he hears someone yell: “Hey! There’s a kid under there.”

Immediately Buck is rushing to help. He hopes naively that it’s Chris, that it will be that easy. But he should have known better. Going off the shoes, he’s pretty sure it’s not Chris, but he isn’t going to let someone die. Especially not a kid. That’s someone’s child. He would want someone to save Chris too if they had the chance. Isn’t that what Hen said during the earthquake? This is no different.

He tells himself he’s not going to make detours to rescue people when he doesn’t have to, but this is basic human decency. Besides, with her free, he can stop the people she’s with, before they leave to ask them if they’ve seen Chris.

“Hey, hey, hey, excuse me,” he stops the group. “I’m looking for an eight-year-old boy. His name is Christopher. He’s always smiling, and he’s got CP, Cerebral Palsy. He’s got brown hair, yellow shirt.” He thinks about mentioning the glasses, but Chris probably lost them.

The surfer guy with long hair, thinks for a moment, then nods: “Yeah, yeah. I think I saw him.”

The feeling of hope, so fragile yet too big to contain his body is almost impossible to describe as he asks: “Where?”

“He was headed with a group that that cupcakery place,” surfer guy says. “I heard they’re handing out water.”

“Cupcakery? What is that?” Buck asks, needing more information so he can find Chris.

“You know, cupcake bakery. It’s about six or seven blocks south of here on Strand,” surfer guy explains.

While he is usually a fan of new tidbits of knowledge, right now he can’t give a single flying fuck about what a cupcakery is exactly. However surfer boy has given him workable information to go off with the address. “Thank you. Thank you.”

The girl is not the last person, he pulls out of the rubble on his search for Chris. And surfer guy is not the last person that gives him information on Chris that turns out to be nothing.

However, the disappointment never stops Buck. He has to keep going, keep searching, keep believing that Chris is alive and out there. That he just has to find him. That all he has to do is get to him and it’ll be okay.

A part of him can understand that it might be denial, but he doesn’t have space for anything else. If he lets himself think that, all the aches and pains he feels will pull him under and he can’t allow that to happen. He knows he’s injured, but he has to push through. For Chris.

Buck doesn’t give up. He can’t. Not until Chris is safe. He just has to keep swimming. Just has to fix this, even if it kills him. There is no other option, not for him, not when it comes to his son.

~~

A/N:

I’m sorry if you thought you’d find out what Eddie would do this chapter, it was a deception. Let’s cross our fingers Buck doesn’t die before someone can find him!

[big-urchin-energy]

Hot Water

written for @bucktommyfluffebruary prompt: spiderman kiss

read on ao3

Things were going well. They were friends, they were getting along. Platonically. Which is why when Buck's hot water was out, Tommy offered up his house for him to stay in until it was fixed. Usually he’d just have showered at work, but he’d just come off a hell of a shift and it was the start of his four-off, so he really didn’t want to have to drag himself to the station on his days off just to shower. So, he'd called Tommy, driven to Tommy’s house, used the spare key to let himself in, and then gone to bed in Tommy’s guest room. Four days later, the hot water still wasn't fixed, but Tommy lived a little closer to the 118 than Buck did anyway, so he'd offered to let him stay until it was. Except two days after that, there was a huge leak, and soon it had been two weeks since Buck had slept in his own bed. But it was fine, because he and Tommy were good. Good friends.

All of that meant that when Buck was sat on the couch, and tilted his head over the back of the it to say goodbye to Tommy before he left for his shift, and Tommy leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, it wasn’t weird. It didn’t even register until Tommy had reached his car that he’d just kissed him.

On the mouth.

Platonically?

Okay, so, it didn't have to be weird, it could be fine. Sometimes friends kiss, it doesn't have to mean anything romantic.

Yeah. It was all good.

What the fuck.

Tommy had just kissed him.

Buck had leaned his head back to wish him a good shift, and he'd just… laid one on him.

A kiss.

On his mouth.

The angle had been kind of awkward because he'd sort of been upside down, but it was unmistakably a kiss. And then Tommy had just walked right out!

Meanwhile, Buck wasn't leaving for his shift for another twelve hours, and those twelve hours lasted... so many hours.

He’d tossed and turned in Tommy’s guest bed, trying to get it out of his head for god knows how long, and when he finally did manage to sleep, his dreams were- well, they were embarrassingly Tommy-themed.

He felt like he was losing his mind – he was distracted all throughout his shift, and everyone could tell. He hated being off his game but what was he supposed to do? They were broken up! Why would Tommy do that? He was the one who broke it off in the first place! They were finally getting back to normal- or just to normal, since their original normal was them dating, and now all the feelings that Buck had had to put to bed were resurfacing. Like a whale or something.

So, Tommy had been freaking out all day.

Maybe he could pretend he never realised what had happened?

It was a weak plan, but anything was better than Buck being mad at him for- for violating his boundaries. Maybe he could make a nice meal for him, since it was really the least he could do considering how often Buck cooked for the two of them. And really, it was no wonder some wires got crossed; they’d been living together, eating together, watching TV together, it was all pretty domestic, and as much as Tommy had talked a big game, he wasn’t over Buck at all.

Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.

He settled on spaghetti, because he was not the chef in this relationship- friendship, and avoided the urge to run when he heard Buck at the door.

Alright, Kinard, play it cool.

“Hey ba- buddy,” shit, what was that? “How was your shift?”

Buck stared.

He needed to play it cooler.

“It was fine…” Buck said slowly.

“Cool! Uh, good, yeah. I’m just making some dinner,” Tommy said unnecessarily.

“I can see that,” Buck nodded. “You wanna clue me in on what the hell that was yesterday?”

Tommy rubbed the back of his neck and took a breath.

“I’m so sorry, Buck, I’m- there are no excuses, it was- I don’t know, I must have got some wires crossed somewhere, but you deserve better than my mess, just because I can’t keep my feelings in check. Your friendship is so important to me, I don’t want to lose that, or you. I hope you can forgive me, but I understand if you want to stay somewhere else now.”

Somewhere in there he’d stopped being able to look at Buck. Now he just stared at his hands, trying not to wring them together, but when Buck didn’t reply he had to look up.

“What do you mean, ‘keep your feelings in check’?” Buck frowned. “You have feelings for me? You still-?”

Tommy didn’t want to answer, but he figured there was no use lying.

“Of course I do, I think I always will,” he told him. “There’s no getting over you, Buck, I’m just happy to have you in my lmmf-”

This kiss was nothing like the last one.

It was hard, almost painful, Buck was clinging to him like his life depended on it, and both of them were the right way up this time.

Tommy gripped him back, but as quickly as it had started, Buck was pulling back again.

“Evan,” Buck breathed.

“Uh… I think that’s my line?”

Buck pursed his lips. “You’re damn right it is,” he said, but it was still gentle somehow. “I’m Evan to you; you can’t call me Buck anymore. Please don’t call me Buck anymore.”

His eyes were pleading, but how could Tommy refuse?

“Evan?”

“I want to be with you, Tommy,” Evan said softly. “And if you don’t want me, if you don’t want me back, then I’ll accept that, but I think you do. And I think we could make it work if you let it.”

It was like his chest had been cracked open.

He wanted it more than anything, and he was a weak man at heart.

“I’m scared,” Tommy told him, and couldn’t help his expression from crumpling, but Evan’s arms were around him in an instant.

“That’s okay, baby,” said Evan, sweeping a hand slowly up and down his back. “You think we could try anyway?”

Tommy didn’t think he’d ever understand how Evan got to be so brave, so confident and self-assured. He loved that about him, even if he wasn’t ready to say it any time soon. But he realised that he did want to say it.

Maybe they could try together.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “I think we could try.”

[amethystjewel01]

Yuuna Union Jacket Birthday!

Yet another birthday in a different world, how exciting!

Voice Lines

Summon Line: Hehe! This one is gonna be so fun! Especially since I’ve gotten even closer to everyone!

Groovy!: Aw man! It got in my hair! Hey, don't laugh!!

Home: Yo, this jacket is really comfy. Think they would let me wear it for more than a day?

Home Idle 1: Yuuto somehow got me a really nice box to hold my earrings in! I wonder where he gets all that money?

Home Idle 2: While I’m glad everyone is so kind to give me stuff, the amount can be overwhelming. Makes me worried if I can bring it all back home…

Home Idle 3: I kind of feel bad that Yuuto and Yuuki did all the decorating, though it was mainly Yuuto with his magic…still I could've helped!

Home Idle [Login]: Hey hey hey! Come join the celebration! Ya I know it’s for me but I want everyone to have fun!

Home Idle [Groovy]: Ace is so mean~ He did not have to grab me like that and shove the tin in my face! 

Home Tap 1: Yuuki kept trying to keep Grim at bay with all the whip cream flying around, I guess she’s worried he might be lactose intolerant like a normal cat. It was funny to see though!

Home Tap 2: Professor Crewel surprisingly gave me some clothes he designed himself. Said something about how my typical hair color combo inspired him for a short period?? I don't know honestly, though they are super cute!

Home Tap 3: Hopefully the cleanup will be easy..hm? Yeah of course I’m gonna help, I am the dorm leader. Being the birthday boy be damn!

Home Tap 4: The light music club gifted me a karaoke machine, guess I was singing more often in public than I thought…that’s embarrassing.

Home Tap 5: Mmm…oh! Yeah I’m okay! Just disassociating a bit. The noise is just a little bit overwhelming, no one’s fault!

Home Tap [Groovy]: Ugh, the cream got everywhere. *lick* Mmm! Still tastes good though!

Duo: 

Yuuna: Look who decided to join!

Ace: Oi! Just because you're the birthday girl doesn’t mean I’ll let you go easy!

Personal Story

Part 1

(Ramshackle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue)

Yuuna: Oh I hope the dice chose someone I'm close with. I'm not good with people I don't know…

???: Boo!

Yuuna: AHH!

Smack!

Ace: Ow! You didn't have to hit me!

Yuuna: Ace you!! Don't scare me! You almost gave me a heart attack!

Ace: Yeesh, sorry. All three of you can't take a small scare.

(Yuuna glares at Ace silently.)

Ace: Anyway-

Ace: Here's the gift I got you!

Yuuna: Oh! You really didn't have to!

Ace: Nah, I wanted to. Besides if I didn't I'm sure the gang would get on my ass.

Ace: But either way, open it already!

Yuuna: Okay okay! Let's see…eh? Is…Is this-

Ace: It's a new binder, yeah.

(Ace looks away awkwardly.)

Ace: You kept complaining about how you only had one since coming to this world so…me and some others came together to get you another one.

Ace: But I gotta ask why the hell are they so expensive?!

Yuuna: Haha! Thank you thank you!! 

(Yuuna hugs Ace tightly.)

Yuuna: This one looks so comfortable too! And it has a zipper! My old one doesn't! This one will be so much easier to put on too!

Ace: Great, it was really awkward when trying to ask others what was best…

Part 2

(Ramshackle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue)

Ace: Alright! Let's move on to the interview!

Ace: If you could choose anyone in NRC as a sibling, who?

Yuuna: Well Yu-

Ace: Ah no! You can't pick someone from your dorm!

Yuuna: Boo~

Yuuna: Okay uh…I guess I would pick you?

Ace: …huh?

Yuuna: I mean you act the most like my older brother actually so it wouldn't be too different for me

Ace: Pick someone else then?! It's for you to choose who you want, not choose who's the most like your actual siblings!

Yuuna: Geez okay! Then…Ortho, definitely Ortho.

Ace: You know that's the least surprising pick, you already treat him like a sibling.

Yuuna: How could I not?! He's adorable! It makes me want to spoil him a lot!

Ace: Would he even get along with your other siblings?

Yuuna: Duh! The little one would have lots of fun with him! Though the possible chaos worries me.

Ace: What, you think they would cause a lot of destruction?

Yuuna: Oh, I know they would.

Part 3

(Ramshackle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue)

Ace: Next question!

Ace: What dorm would you transfer to? Actually do I need to ask? Of course you would pick Heartslabyul!

Yuuna: …now I wanna pick Pomefiore to spite you.

Ace: Aw come on! Don't lie, almost everyone can tell how you love our aesthetic!

Yuuna: *Sigh* Okay fine, yes it would be Hearts.

Yuuna: But Pome is a close second solely for the fact that the rules part of your dorm is overwhelming.

Ace: Fair, they’re really annoying. Ah-Don’t tell Riddle I said that.

Yuuna: Heh, my lips are sealed.

Yuuna: But yeah. As much as I like following the rules, I have my own limits. I mean in my own opinion rules are mainly meant to help people, not restrict them.

Ace: Is that why Pomefiore would be your second choice?

Yuuna: Sort of? It’s mainly because I’ve been told I fit in there a lot.

Ace: Who said that?

Yuuna: Just a bunch of randos, actually before they realize I’m the Ramshackle dorm leader many assumed I was a Pome member. I don’t get it honestly, I’m not like pretty like them??

Ace: Uh…

Yuuna: Sorry, was getting too honest there! Haha!

Ace: Well…that’s all the questions.

Yuuna: Oh-...oh no

Ace: Can't forget the best part~

Yuuna: C-Can't we just skip this? I-I JUST DID MY HAIR!

(Yuuna runs away.)

Ace: HEY GET BACK HERE!!

(The sound of something being thrown is heard.)

The End

[the-cal-zone]

Oh man I didn’t even realize that.. I think the particular one I based oro and boro off was Parvati?? I could be wrong tho :p also your boyfriend is VERY correct, even from a screen I know your very protective and motherly :3 anyways yea I don’t know how much it is my place to talk considering I’m not Hindu but from all the shit I’ve seen on the internet I think some people consider being Hindu an aesthetic more than an actual religion… one time my sibling brother things ex told me she needed to buy crystals cuz her chakras were unaligned…. Even tho she was pagan. Nothing wrong with paganism ofc I just don’t really understand picking and choosing what aspects of a religion you want to incorporate and what aspects you don’t. This reminds me about how Britany, when she was still my “mom” had a little Buddha statue in the living room, it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way cuz she was Christian.

And like yea I grew up being Christian and I just have to say I don’t hate the religion itself but I hate the community. And yk what I used to be Christian so I think I have a place to MOTHAFUCKING RANT!!!

So obviously there’s the whole homophobia and transphobia thing. That stupid ass mistranslation has fucking ruined SO MUCH for just about everyone. IT WAS TALKING ABOUT PEDOPHELIA SORRY SOME HOMOPHOBE IN 1846 FUCKED IT UP OR WHATEVER!!!! And guess what?? A bunch of Christians are transphobic because “god made you a boy/girl”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHIT UUPPPPPP SHUT UP!!!! By that logic it should be illegal to get glasses because well god gave you shit eyesight! But no you don’t see those people harassing glasses wearers it’s ONLY trans people cuz Fox News has been spreading some ABSOLOUTE BULLSHIT. And don’t get me wrong it’s fine to be Christian but the community it has created for itself is toxic AF. Sure there’s some cool people (like my non mold dad, I love him and he’s really cool and supportive and he reads the Bible sometimes) but it’s SO FUCKING HARD to ignore the massive blemish that is the retirement home of people who heard “treat others how you want to be treated” and their hearing aid made them think they heard “harass minors for wearing a pride pin”

And like the power dynamics ohh my god dude. I mean we’ve all heard about the whole pastor pedophile thing but mostly like. Idk this could be my personal experience but my gma would always abuse the Bible to excuse things. One time my gma and my sibling brother thing got into a fight about I forget what but my uncle went on some rant about “your grandma she’s family and bible verse bible verse about being nice” and that pussed me off so badly because. My grandma wasn’t being nice. So WHY dose she get a pass but nobody else does?? Is it cuz she’s older?? I sure hope not cuz that’s STUPID!!!!!!!!

Uhhggg sorry about the word salad rant. That’s not even half of it but I think I get my point across pretty good. I stopped being Christian years ago because A) it had a toxic ass community B) I personally had some things I didn’t agree with C) I don’t enjoy being told from the womb to believe in a certain god yknow??

I propose a family anthem

@voparwave69

[verflares]

gonna be honest i feel like i have seen more posts complaining abt Complaining abt the new zelda game than i have said actual complaints

[bookshelfdreams]

yk when you see someone share a finished handmade item that they clearly spent a lot of time and money on and it's just. The absolute tackiest thing you have seen in your life. And then you ask yourself why someone would waste all those resources on such an eyesore.

(no, of course you can't relate to that because you're a much nicer person than me)

In any case.

BEHOLD!

A wool coat!

The top fabric is handwoven and handspun, the whole thing is sewn by hand, too.

Leftovers. Barely anything, all things considered, which is very satisfying.

This thing took me well over 3 years to make, on and off. And now I'm done.

Thank you for your attention.

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

[queengmine2crayon]

Japan piclog: day 0

Hey guys! Sorry for the late post, I was really tired because of the jet lag/activities so I didn’t have time to post the photos for the first day (well, more like day 0, hence the title). But here it is!

- Trip to Paris/CDG Airport

We came to the meeting point at 2:30 am and then took the bus to Paris. We were all so exhausted, because we decided to not sleep this night.

Blinding lights from Paris

Arrival at the airport

We saw a little store (very expensive lol, but it’s Paris so are we surprised) with cute plushies

One of our friends couldn’t come so we brought her plushie instead to symbolise her taking the trip with us. We took photos of the plushie in almost all the visits so far!

In the plane (12 hours of flight!)

We arrived at the Ōsaka Kansai Airport where we bought our new SIM cards and took a HarukaHello Kitty train to Kyōto! It was really fun and soooo comfortable.

We then met our families and came home to speak to them a bit and sleep! We were awake for like 35+ hours minus the small naps that we managed to have. Our Okā-san is really nice and know a bit of English, so we can communicate a bit more easily with her! With my friend and roommate (that I’ll call Shibiru-sama for funsies/anonymity reasons), we speak a mix of French, English and Japanese with her. We actually learnt a lot in the past few days!

I hope this first post was to your liking! Obviously, the fun stuff will come in the next one, I might do it tomorrow morning in the train. ^^ Anyways! Imma study my Japanese a bit and then shower and then sleep because my legs and my back hurtttt

I hope everyone has a nice day/evening/night! おやすみ！🌙💫

Hellooooo guys

So.

It is actually 11:30 pm in France and in 3 hours I’ll take a bus to go to Paris, then the airport, then Japan.

boom.

Explosion.

OMG GUYSS IM GOING TO JAPANNNN

The reason of this post is to create a tag so my friends/mutus/all of you honestly can follow my trip with my friends to Japan. I won’t be posting any more personal photos publicly, of course.

So if you wanna see Japan/travel/silly photos in the next ten days, this is the right placeeee! I don’t have anything else to say really, I’m just gonna sleep a lil before heading to the meeting point and start my trip.

Hope you guys have an amazing day, evening, or night! 💫💚

[obsob]

here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud!!

✷(print shop)✷

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: Oh, it's gonna be so cool to see how this develops. I'm excited, I'm gonna try my best. I'm not the greatest at Minecraft whatsoever, I did nerf Green Team a little bit by accident on the second day. My bad! But, you know, I'm so ready to just grind out and see what we can do, and I just–

I wish everyone saw it with the same amount of, like, kind of enthusiasm. I think all of this and all the development and all the potential arcs, that's going to fcking allow for something absolutely incredible.

And if anyone ends up clipping any of this, something I do want to say is I implore people to view everything with a lot of enthusiasm. No stress, no anxiety, just a lot of enthusiasm. Because, again, this is going to allow for a lot of cool things in the server. Not just now, but in the future, too.

[blackjackkent]

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…