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squeamishdionysus · 4 years ago

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The Boy in the Tea Shop

Chapter 1

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

TW: none that i can note

summary: You're living alone as a refugee in Ba Sing Se. Things all seem normal until you meet a boy in a tea shop.

notes: omg this took so long. this took way longer than I ever thought it would. I'm so sorry for the long wait again, y'all, but school has just been really overwhelming, not to mention my mental health hasn't been the best. Anyways, it felt good to get this done finally! This is the first chapter of a Zuko x Reader series I will be doing centered around Zuko's arch in Ba Sing Se. I'm really looking forward to this! Now, this chapter is unedited and I'll admit, not the best work I've done, but I tried my best and just wanted to get the first chapter awkwardness out of the way. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Edit: I forgot to mention that the reader uses she/they pronouns and has long enough hair to pull up. They are addressed as "miss" as well.

Masterlist

Being a refugee in Ba Sing Se was not easy.

The Dai Li were around every corner, as well as thieves and swindlers, and so many other people around you were struggling to get by. You weren’t allowed to mention the very war that brought you to Ba Sing Se, and as a consequence of that, it was hard to find anyone who might’ve known your family and would be willing to help you out.

Your parents had sacrificed a lot to make sure you got to Ba Sing Se, feeling you’d be much safer there than back home in your small village, one that was right in the path of invading Fire Nation troops. The trip was long and hard, and now that you were there, it didn’t seem very worth it. You had very little money, knew no one, and felt suffocated by the “culture” that was enforced on everyone.

You sighed, closing and locking the door to the pottery shop. You had gotten a job there weeks ago, and though the pay wasn’t a lot, the owner was incredibly kind and you actually enjoyed working there. It paid enough for living expenses and basic necessities, which is what mattered. Today, however, you were given a small bonus, as you had sold a very valuable piece to a very important customer and actually managed to convince them to pre-order two more. Your boss was very impressed and rewarded you with some money to spend on something special.

You didn’t have much in mind. There wasn’t a lot going on in the Lower Ring. The best you could do for now, besides looking around for something to do, was keep your money out of plain sight. There were just too many thieves around this area to risk it.

A short grumble came from your stomach, reminding you that you hadn’t eaten since earlier that morning. There weren’t many good restaurants around here, though, as all of those were up in the Middle Ring. However, all of the monorails were closed and it would be a nightmare to try and walk all the way up there. It seemed that the only option you had for now was a tea shop, as those were more easily accessible in the Lower Ring. One that came to mind was the Pao Family Tea House. You had heard from your employer that they had just recently hired new staff, and that the tea, which was mediocre at best before, was now the best in Ba Sing Se. You were sure that was a stretch, but it couldn’t hurt to try, could it?

You opened the door to the tea shop, looking up at the customers sitting around at each table. Most were guards and workers from around the city, probably because, like you, they were all off from their work shifts. They all seemed to be enjoying the tea they ordered, which gave you a little bit of hope that maybe you hadn’t decided to waste your time and money on something you wouldn’t enjoy. You took a seat at the only empty table left and looked at a small menu that was to the side, trying to pick out something you’d like but also could afford.

Thankfully, everything on the menu was in an affordable range. That came to no surprise, considering the quality and location of the tea house. They only had three different teas you could order and a few snacks you could order as sides. No matter what you ordered, it probably wouldn’t be enough to completely satisfy your hunger. You probably had something else back at the apartment, though. You’d worry about it when you got there.

The most appealing thing on the menu to you at that moment was the jasmine tea. Jasmine tea wasn’t something you had very often. Your mother only made it on special occasions, as it was hard to get jasmine tea leaves where you lived. Of course, being a large city, Ba Sing Se had plenty of it, meaning that what used to be a delicacy to you could now be found everywhere. Still, you limited yourself to only having it once in a while, that way it still felt rewarding whenever you ordered it. Along with the tea, you picked out the largest snack they had: a plate of cakes, just to make sure you wouldn’t be starving later.

You put the menu to the side, looking up to see a waiter walking towards your table.

A cute waiter.

A cute waiter your age.

He was tall; that was the first thing you noticed about him. The second was his scar. He had a scar that covered his right eye, one that was clearly caused by a burn of some kind. It wasn’t pleasant (in your eyes, no scars were), but it didn’t mean you found it ugly. Everyone in the Lower Ring had scars of some kind, some visible and some not. It wasn’t any of your business to judge him by that.

The third thing you noticed were his eyes. They were what you could only describe as a mix of brown and amber, something you couldn’t say you had ever seen before.

You felt yourself beginning to blush a bit, knowing you did not look your absolute best from having to work all day. It didn’t help that you probably had bags under your eyes. You didn’t exactly live in the safest part of town, and more often than not you found yourself lying awake, paranoid about what might happen if you dozed off for even a second. If it wasn’t paranoia, it was the vivid nightmares that had plagued your mind about the Fire Nation ever since you left home.

The boy stopped in front of your table, pulling out a pen and notepad from his apron pocket. “Hello, welcome to the Pao Family Tea House. What would you like?” His voice was hoarse and raspy. You could hear a mix of boredom and weariness ring through his words. It was something you heard in your own words all the time, especially at work. You managed a small smile and looked at the menu to refresh your mind of your order.

“Can I get a cup of jasmine tea and a small plate of cakes?” you asked, looking up at him. He looked down at you and paused for a moment, seeming to examine you just for a short second before nodding. He walked back to the counter, placing the order in front of an older man who was holding a teapot and chatting with whom you could only assume was the manager.

You sighed, looking back down at the table in thought. The waiter was intriguing, but you didn’t have the confidence to push past just ordering food. You didn’t know him and he didn’t know you. There was no point in trying to become anything more than strangers.

Then again, it couldn’t hurt to be friendly.

You soon saw the waiter walking back to your table, a cup of tea on his tray. He placed it down on your table, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Thank you,” you said, lifting the cup and breathing in the steam that came from the tea. It smelled delicious, which isn’t something you could normally say about tea in the Lower Ring. You smiled up at him. “Did you make the tea yourself?”

The waiter looked unsure of what to say. Either what you had just said was incredibly stupid or you were one of the first customers to say anything to him, and for your dignity’s sake, you hoped it was the latter.

“Um, no. My uncle made it.”

You looked over his shoulder, spotting a surprisingly recognizable older man with a teapot in his hands, chatting with one of the guards as he served their tea.

“Is he your uncle?” you asked, nodding to the man. The waiter looked over and nodded. You chuckled, recalling your encounter with the man.

“I recognize him, actually. He came into the shop I work at a few weeks ago and bought a vase.”

The waiter looked back at you, a slightly curious look coming across his features. You went on, smiling softly.

“He was very friendly. He flirted with my boss a bit, and even managed to leave a tip, despite mentioning he was a refugee.”

The waiter huffed a bit, his eyes trailing to the floor. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

It was silent for a moment, as you studied the features of the waiter some more. It occured to you that since his uncle was a refugee, that probably meant the boy was, and he didn’t seem to be all that proud of it. You couldn’t blame him. The Lower Ring was not a place you were fond of either, and the title “refugee” didn’t warrant many perks around here.

“I’m actually a refugee, too.” You said. The boy looked back up at you, his expression unreadable yet again. You looked down into your tea. “I came to Ba Sing Se a few months ago. Can’t say I’ve enjoyed it much, but it’s not all that bad.”

It was silent for a bit. The longer the silence stretched on, the less and less you wanted to make eye contact again. This was incredibly awkward. You found this to be the perfect time to take a sip of your tea, hoping it would act as an excuse as to why you weren’t talking

“What’s your name?” you asked, looking up at him again. A soft smile graced your features, the slightest hint of curiosity stirring in your eyes.

He took a moment to zone back in before speaking. “Lee. My uncle’s name is Mushi.”

You grinned, giving him yours. “It’s nice to meet you, Lee. Please give my compliments to your uncle, by the way. I’m sure you two get this a lot, but this tea is the best I’ve had in years.”

“Yeah, we do,” he said, rather bluntly at first. You were worried you might have annoyed him for a second, but instead, he smiled. “I’ll be sure to tell him that.”

Speaking of the man, Mushi was just beside the table, a plate of cakes in his hand.

“Tell me what?” he asked, a smile

You looked over at his uncle, giving him a bright smile.

“Just how delicious this tea is,” you mused. “I think it might genuinely be the best in Ba Sing Se.”

“Well,” Mushi beamed, placing the plate on the table. “The secret ingredient is love.” He sent a knowing look to Lee, who scrunched up his face at his uncle’s comments. Mushi chuckled, walking to another table to check on one of the customers. Lee sighed, whether in exasperation or relief you couldn’t tell He looked towards you again.

“I probably need to get back to work.”

You nodded. “I understand. Thank you for the tea.”

Lee turned away, going to the back of the shop to clear some tables. Your eyes followed him along the way. You hoped you left the right impression. He didn’t seem to be completely annoyed by you and you were sure his uncle liked you. That’s a start.

You let your thoughts drift away, still looking over at him, only to snap back when he looked up at you and made eye contact. . His cheeks became just the faintest shade of pink, and he immediately looked back down. You did the same, your cheeks becoming warm as you smiled. That blush had to mean something good.

For a moment, things in the tea shop were peaceful. You were enjoying yourself, feeling confident in what you chose to spend your bonus on. Lee had a subtle smile on his face, clearing off a now empty table. Mushi was chatting up the customers, discussing tea and using his charm up on the locals. Everything was fine, at least as fine as it could be.

And then the door slammed open.

“I’m tired of waiting!”

All eyes in the room were now locked on the newcomer, the one who shouted; he was another boy your age, but he seemed to be the polar opposite to Lee. His skin was darker and much more tan, with his hair long and scruffy. He didn’t seem happy to be there. He lifted his hand, pointing all the way to the back of the shop at Lee and Mushi, who both looked very confused.

“These two men are firebenders!”

The stranger unsheathed two swords from his sides, stepping forward in a fighting stance. You immediately stood up from your table, spilling the cup of tea over, and cowered into the wall, wanting to keep a safe distance between you and the boy. The other patrons stood as well. In the other corner of the room, a man held his arms up in front of his date, guarding her just in case anything went south. Two men that had been visiting were now looking at the man with wide eyes and worried faces.

The air around you became tense, fear and confusion clouding your head. Your eyes went back to the men in question. They both looked at each other; they both looked just as confused, their eyes raised in shock. Did they even know this man?

Your left hand drifted to your side, wondering if you had remembered to bring a dagger with you. Unfortunately, like almost every day, you had forgotten. If you made it out of this unscathed, you’d never make that mistake again.

All was silent. Everyone was probably thinking the same things you were. Who was this man? Why did he think Lee and Mushi were firebenders? How am I going to leave if he’s blocking the only exit? Your attention was locked on him, waiting to see what his next move was.

The stranger at the door began to speak again.

“I know they’re firebenders! I saw the old man heating his tea!”

Your brow quirked slightly at that. This was a tea shop. Of course he would be heating some tea.

Apparently you weren’t the only one that thought this, as one of the guards responded making the same point.

The boy looked at the guard. “He’s a firebender, I’m telling you!”

His swords swung up fast, causing you to flinch slightly. The room was getting nervous, and the two guards at the table stood.

“Put your swords down, boy. Nice and easy.”

The man ignored them, turning back to Lee and Mushi, holding up his swords in an “X” shape. He slowly began to approach, speaking with a shake in his voice. “You’ll have to defend yourselves… then everyone will know.”

You weren’t liking the way this was going. The guards didn’t cause the boy to back down at all, only seeming to provoke him even further.

It occurred to you that you could just leave now. He was no longer blocking the door, and it wouldn’t take much effort to just slip away into the night. But you couldn’t. You weren’t sure why, but you couldn’t. Maybe you were curious to see how it all played out. Maybe you were just too scared to try and make a move like that yet. Maybe you were just worried about everyone else’s safety.

You couldn’t tell and it wasn’t that important anyways. You weren’t going anywhere.

“Go ahead,” the boy with swords began to taunt, looking directly at the two of them. “Show them what you can do.”

It was a dare. A jab at their pride. You could tell by the mocking tone that laced the boy’s words. He was confident they were going to use their bending, so confident that it bordered on cocky. By now, he had gotten so close to the two, that the guard began to unsheathe his own swords. Things were going to get ugly. Maybe now was a good time to reconsider that running option.

You heard other footsteps, your train of thought breaking as you realized Lee was stepping forward, a glare on his face.

“You want a show?” he asked, unsheathing the guard’s swords for himself. “I’ll give you a show!”

He pulled the swords apart from each other, entering a fighting stance that didn’t look like anything a tea shop worker would know. His leg stuck out to the side, hooking on the leg of a table and pulling it in front of him. He kicked it, sending it flying towards the stranger.

The stranger didn’t hesitate, flipping over it and slicing it so hard that the table sliced in half, with stray pieces of wood flying across the room. You felt a chunk of wood smack you in the face, slicing your cheek as you winced. You cupped it, feeling blood begin to warm your fingers as it dripped from the cut.

The clashing of swords diverted your attention back to the fight. Lee expertly avoided the boy’s attack, jumping onto the table previously occupied by the guards. Before he could counter his next move, though, the boy sliced through that table too, the wood once again cutting perfectly in half. Lee stumbled, the boy cutting away at each side even more, aiming at his legs. Lee jumped expertly in the air, dodging the boy’s attacks.

You had made very few assumptions about Lee and already felt you had severely underestimated him.

In a quick blur of a moment, the boy had somehow managed to kick Lee back so hard that it broke down the door. You and the rest of the people inside the tea shop rushed to the front, trying to see how things were escalating. Mushi was at the door, most likely worried about the safety of his nephew as the fight stretched on.

The stranger was gaining a slight upper hand, taking advantage of Lee’s disoriented state after having smashed through the door. He swung down at him, his hooks being blocked last minute by Lee’s blades.

The stranger had a grin on his face. “You must be getting tired of using those swords.” He tilted his head, continuing with, “why don’t you go ahead and firebend at me?”

Once again, he was trying to provoke some kind of action out of Lee, trying to exhaust his efforts so that he’d be theoretically forced to firebend at him. It was crazy.

The fight went on, Lee retaliating as best he could. Mushi called out, addressing the stranger, “Please, son, you’re confused! You don’t know what you’re doing!”

His pleas were ignored, the fight continuing with even more vigor. They backed down the street, getting closer and closer to a large square surrounding a well. Mushi began to walk out of the doorway, following the two men as they fought. The rest of the patrons weren’t far behind, some worrying for the safety of the two and others, such as the guards, keeping an eye out for when they’d need to intervene. Your eyes were still glued on Lee, your feet unconsciously moving you along towards him. The strange boy began to taunt Lee once more, this time bringing Mushi into the mix.

“Bet you wish he helped you out with a little fire blast right now!”

He hooked one of his swords on the other, spinning and swinging the swords around like whips. Lee backed away, slamming one of his own swords through the handle of the stranger’s.

“You’re the one who needs help!” Lee yelled, pulling back his swords in a defensive position as the boy recovered, about the swing again. Lee was one step ahead, swinging at the young man’s neck. The young man threw his head back, the sword swiping just above his head, so quick and so clean that a blue streak sparked as it sliced the grass he held between his teeth.

The boy arched forward, flipping back and landing on the edge of the well. He called out to the crowd that had gathered to watch the fight progress.

“You see that? The Fire Nation is trying to silence me!” He looked around at the crowd, the people all staring up at him in confusion. He then turned back to Lee, his eyes narrowing into a glare. “It’ll never happen.”

He reached back and hooked his sword on the wooden bar, swinging back and jumping forward at Lee.

You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take. Neither Lee nor the stranger seemed tired out enough to give the other a good chance at victory, and nobody, not even the guards, was attempting to interfere. Your cheek was beginning to really bother you and you knew that if you didn’t get home soon, you’d most likely wake up late for work tomorrow.

“Mushi, is Lee going to be alright?” you asked, your hands holding your sides. Mushi looked back at you and gave you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure my nephew will be alright.” He turned back to the fight, his smile faltering a bit. “It’s the other young man that I’m worried about. Lee is not one to back down easily.”

You looked up at Lee again, watching him strategically block each attack made by the stranger. You huffed, beginning to back away, until you saw the crowd to begin to disperse.

“Drop your weapons!” a stern voice called out.

The Dai Li had finally made their appearance.

The boys slow down their fighting, backing away from each other. Neither of them took their eyes off the other, swords still held out defensively, just in case anything else escalated. The stranger spoke first.

“Arrest them!” he called out. “They’re firebenders.”

Mushi was quick to respond, his voice relaxed as he said, “this poor boy is confused. We’re just simple refugees.”

You looked one of the Dai Li agents in the eye and nodded, hoping it would help to have someone agree. Others apparently had the same idea, as the manager came to their defense as well.

“This young man wrecked my tea shop and assaulted my employees!” He pointed over at you, more specifically the cut on your cheek. “He even injured one of my customers!”

The guards that Lee got his swords from nodded. “It’s true, sir. We saw the whole thing. This crazy kid attacked the finest teamaker in the city.”

Mushi awed, blushing.

“That’s very sweet.”

The Dai Li agents walked up to the stranger, one on each side of him.

“Come with us son.”

The boy gritted his teeth, quickly swinging the sword in his right hand behind him to strike the Dai Li, only for it to land right in the palm of one. The agent twisted his arm back, the other helping to restrain him with their gloves made of Earth. Once they were sure he was unable to break free, they began to drag him back, the crowd dispersing and revealing a detainment cart. You couldn’t help but feel bad for the young man. You hadn’t ever heard anything good about the Dai Li. People who were taken into their custody either never came back or never came back the same. It was why you wanted to avoid them as much as possible, as detainment rates were especially high among refugees, at least from what you had heard.

You watched as the boy looked around desperately. “You don’t understand, they’re Fire Nation! You have to believe me!”

The crowd and you could only watch in silence as he was pulled into the cart, the back doors shutting on him. By now, most of the crowd was dispersing, none paying any particular attention to the boy anymore. You squeezed your sides, frowning, wondering what would come of the boy.

Mushi sighed, shaking his head and turning towards you. “Are you alright, Miss?

You glanced up, giving him a soft smile. “I’m fine, thank you. Do you remember how much my order was?”

“Please,” you heard behind you. You looked over your shoulder to see the manager of the tea shop there, smiling sympathetically. “The tea is free of charge. Consider it an apology for all of the ruckus.”

You shook your head, blushing slightly. “Thank you, that’s very kind, but tables are not cheap to replace.” You pulled out half of the cash you had brought that night and handed it to him with a smile. “If you need to replace any of your dishes, feel free to visit Miss Kang’s Pottery Shop. I can make sure you receive a discount.”

He nodded and wished you a good night, walking into the shop to inspect the damage. Mushi followed, leaving you by yourself. Well, not completely anyway.

You looked back at where Lee had been fighting, watching Lee hand back the swords to the guards he had taken them from.

“You’ve got some serious skill, son. You should consider applying to the police academy, you could seriously make a difference.”

Lee didn’t go as far as to smile, but he did nod and give a small thank you. The guards waved goodbye, and Lee began to walk back to the shop, his mind clearly somewhere else. You watched him come up to you, deciding to talk to him again.

“Are you alright? That fight was… pretty intense.”

He began to focus again, looking at you. “I’m alright, just a little worn out.”

You smiled, a wave of relief washing over you. “That’s good.”

He nodded. “Actually, you seem like you got more hurt than I did. Is that cut okay?”

You blushed, placing a hand over your cheek, feeling the dry blood that had stuck to your face. “Yeah. It stings a bit, but I’ve got some stuff at home that should help.”

“That’s… that’s good,” he said a bit awkwardly. You chuckled softly, walking over to his side so you could go inside with him.

When you got inside, the manager and Mushi immediately stopped the two of you.

“Hold on you two,” the manager began.

“Young lady, considering all of the ruckus that has taken place tonight, I was wondering if you’d mind letting Lee escort you home,” Mushi asked, a considerate look on his face.

Your eyes widened, your jaw dropping slightly as you began to blush. You didn’t want to force Lee into any kind of position like that, especially since you had literally met less than an hour ago.

“W-well I… I’m not sure if that would be necessary, sir, especially since you might need Lee to help clean up the shop,” you stammered, looking over at Lee who was equally confused and uncertain about this.

“No, no, I insist. Lee would have no problem walking such a kind girl to her home, especially after the night being so inconveniencing for you.”

You literally got scratched on the face, why was everyone acting like you had lost a limb?

A pink flush came over Lee’s face, his eyes looking anywhere but you as the manager and Mushi began to corner you both to the door.

“Please be careful, but be sure to take your time! The night is beautiful, no need to waste it!”

And with that, you both were shoved onto the path outside of the shop, the once busy street now completely empty except for the two of you. Your face was hot and red, unable to look up from your feet below you. Lee was looking to the side, from what you could tell, and you had no idea what he was thinking. He was probably annoyed, angry even that he was now stuck with you. First, the crazy kid accused him of being a fire bender of all things and now his uncle and boss were making him babysit you.

He wasn’t looking at you, and he wasn’t moving either. Maybe you could just book it, give him an excuse to go back in and never go to the shop again. Maybe you could just disappear and he wouldn’t make you out to be a burden. Maybe you could just apologize and leave, then go home and forget this whole night had never happened. Perhaps that would be best.

A sigh leaving your companion’s lips quickly made that decision for you, though.

“So… where do you live?”

It had gotten really late. Most of the city was already asleep, with their lights off and windows shut. If it weren’t for the stars that hung up above, you probably wouldn't be able to see the path in front of you. You and Lee had been walking for quite some time now, not a word passing between the two of you. You took a breath, deciding that it was time you said something.

“You were very impressive in that fight back there.”

His eyes widened a bit as he looked over at you, probably surprised you had said something.

“Oh, um… thanks.”

“Where did you learn to do all of that?”

He shrugged.

“I’ve picked up a few things from my uncle.”

You smiled.

“Was he a guard where you used to live?”

He was silent for a moment, his eyes lost in thought.

“Sort of.”

You looked back down at the ground, not knowing where to take the conversation from there.

You sighed, your cheerful demeanor sinking. You stopped walking, holding your forehead with your hand and taking in a deep breath. Lee took a few more steps before he realized you had stopped. He turned towards you, his brow furrowing in confusion.

You looked up at him with tired eyes and began to speak. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be bothering you so much. I haven’t had anyone to talk to for a while now, I guess I just got a bit ahead of myself.”

He took a minute to think before responding. “Do you not live with anyone?”

You shook your head, frowning slightly. “No. My family sent me away from our village by myself. It was urgent and they didn’t have enough money for all of us to come to Ba Sing Se.”

You blinked, looking at the path in front of you with a blank stare.

“I haven’t heard from them in months. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep, painful breath, beginning to walk again.

“Thank you for walking me this far. I can get home just fine from here.”

It was a moment before you heard his footsteps begin to pick up again behind you. Your face contorted into one of confusion, as suddenly Lee was by your side again. You opened your mouth to speak again, about to insist that he didn’t need to walk with you, but he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry,” he began, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. “I’m not very good with people.”

You hummed, a small smile returning to your lips.

“It’s alright. I’m not exactly a people person, either. I shouldn’t have been so pushy with you in the first place.”

“You weren’t that pushy. At least compared to some people I’ve met.”

You chuckled, feeling a little less nervous being around him.

“Thank you. I’m glad I don’t come across that way,” you mused.

He nodded, and for the next few minutes, you both walked together in silence, with you guiding him down the paths you needed to take home and him being vigilant for any crooks that might’ve been hiding out somewhere. After a while, he brought up conversation again.

“How old are you, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I’m about fifteen. You?”

“Sixteen.”

“You look like you’d be older,” you said, though it came out the wrong way you meant it to. “Not in, like, a bad way, though! Like you just seem more mature, I guess.”

“Um, yeah, I could say the same about you.”

Right, you still looked exhausted. You sighed, reaching up to rub the back of your neck.

“Yeah, I don’t exactly look all that youthful right now. I haven’t slept much lately and work has just been really difficult.

His eyes widened as he began to stammer. “No, not like I think you look old or anything, you look plenty young! It’s just, you look like you could be sixteen or seventeen.”

You gave him a thankful smile, though it wasn’t all that genuine. “Thank you, but I’d have to disagree.”

He looked away from you, unsure of what to say next. You didn’t quite know what to say either, so you changed the subject.

“Hey, I’m sorry if this question bothers you, but did you know that young man that attacked you in the tea shop?”

“Why do you ask?”

You shrugged, feeling a bit stupid for asking. “Well, I don’t know. He just seemed to have recognized you from somewhere else.”

Lee sighed, fiddling with the string on his apron absentmindedly.

“Yeah. We came to Ba Sing Se on the same ferry. He told me about how the Fire Nation killed his parents and such. Then he saw my uncle buy a cup of tea from a vendor and I guess he just thought he firebended somehow.”

You frowned, feeling just a little bit bad about what happened to the boy.

“No wonder he was so dead set on attacking you. He’s probably traumatized.”

He huffed. “Yeah. Probably.”

Your mind kept going back to the young man being dragged back and thrown into the cart with the Dai Li, a knot beginning to form in your stomach. It didn’t seem like Lee knew the gravity of being put into the custody of the Dai Li and just how terrifying of a sentiment it was to you.

“I don’t take it you know much about the Dai Li, do you?” you asked, cautiously, as if anybody could be listening to you right now, as they actually very well could.

He looked over at you with narrowed eyes.

“My uncle has told me enough that I know not to mention the war, but other than that, I can’t say I do.”

You sighed, looking around you for any places someone could be hiding or listening.

“Whenever someone is taken by the Dai Li, they either don’t come back or they don’t come back the same. There have been cases where men who were in the Dai Li’s possession were released with no idea who their own families were. It’s really unsettling and it’s one of those things I hate about being a refugee here.”

He nodded. “I can see why. I don’t understand what the Earth Kingdom would have to gain from banning the mention of the war, though.”

“Neither do I, but it happens nonetheless.”

The conversation could’ve gone on for hours at that point, but by now, you had finally reached your quaint, little apartment. You stopped at the door and turned to him fully, folding your hands together and smiling.

“Well,” you said quietly, looking up at him with tired eyes. “Thank you for walking me home, Lee. It was really nice meeting you.”

He nodded. “It was nice meeting you, too. I’m sorry I didn’t give the best first impression.”

You giggled quietly, shaking your head. “It’s okay. I’m definitely going to be visiting the tea shop again soon, so I wouldn’t say you left a horrible impression on me.”

“I’m sure my uncle will be happy to hear that.”

you smiled, taking your key out of your pocket and unlocking your door. Lee took that as his cue to leave, turning away from you and beginning to walk down the road you both took. You opened your door just a little bit, glancing over your shoulder back at Lee. You puffed your cheeks out a bit as you left the door ajar, walking over to him and calling out his name.

He turned back to face you, his face blushing a soft pink when he realized how close you were. With that, you planted a soft kiss on his cheek, whispering a meek “goodbye” before running back into your house.

You slammed the door, your face hot and bright red as butterflies soared around your chest. You groaned, sliding down the door and hiding your face in your hands. You couldn’t tell if you felt more euphoric or embarrassed. Whatever, it didn’t matter right now. You’d leave the shame and embarrassment to your future self, as right now, you were exhausted and needed to go to bed.

What a way to end the day.

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megalony · 5 years ago

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Problem solved

This is my first dad! Harry Styles series which I am going to be working on, I hope you will all like and enjoy it. This is a friends to lovers series, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry offers for (Y/n) and her daughter to come and live with him and his son to help her out of a tricky situation and feelings soon start to develop between them both.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mornin' little lady, can we come in?" A smile pulled at Harry's lips when he looked down to see Ella stood half behind the door like she was getting ready to hide away from whoever turned up at the door.

The four year old looked up at him with a shy smile before she nodded and pulled open the door, allowing Harry and Elliot to walk inside. Harry darted his eyes around the hall to try and decipher whereabouts (Y/n) was until he heard her feet padding against the stairs. He had been in the area and thought he would pop by and see one of his closest friends and since Ella seemed to get along rather well with Elliot Harry thought it would be good for them to play together for a while if (Y/n) wasn't busy.

Elliot didn't tend to talk to many kids around his age, even when he was at pre-school he didn't like talking or getting to know other kids so to know he seemed comfortable around Ella was a godsend to Harry even if Ella was two years younger than Elliot.

"Mummy, it's Elliot and Harry." Ella's voice showed her enthusiasm and the way she bounced from her heels to her toes made Harry smile fondly at her. Elliot never seemed to jitter with excitement or go high pitched or jump around like Ella, he was calm and preserved and laid back so it was a change to see in other children how different Elliot acted.

When (Y/n) counted thirteen steps she cautiously placed her left foot down and felt around just to make sure she was actually on the floor and not on a secret last step. It had happened far too many times where she lost count and ended up tripping on the last step on the stairs. A bungalow might have been a better option in hind-sight but (Y/n) always liked a challenge.

"I didn't know you were popping by, what can I do for you, Styles?" (Y/n) smiled but Harry could see that her smile didn't reach her enamouring eyes that were flitting around the hall like she was scanning the house for something.

"Thought we'd come by and see you both... everything okay?" Harry lowered his tone towards the end of his sentence and spoke a little quieter and if (Y/n) could see he would have narrowed his eyes and dipped his head down to try and silently ask if something was wrong. He wanted to make sure everything was okay when he could tell that (Y/n) looked a bit unsettled and like she had been either crying or panicking. Whenever something was wrong he made sure to try and find out so he could find a way to help.

"Hm. Ella, why don't you take Elliot upstairs to play?"

(Y/n) moved a few steps away from the stairs, reaching her hand out when she felt Ella getting closer. The four year old reached her hand out and gently squeezed (Y/n)'s hand, a normal part of their daily routine just like they were sharing a smile or a look with each other. Ella smiled shyly at Harry before she motioned for Elliot to follow her, knowing he wouldn't like it if she reached out to try and take his hand and drag him upstairs like she did with some of her friends.

A gentle smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips when she reached her arms out in Harry's direction and felt his familiar, comforting arms wrapping around her. She loved the feeling when he leaned down to her height and his cheek brushed against hers and she could feel his hair tickling her cheek or her forehead or trying to intertwine with her own hair. When his fingers ran up and down her back and hips like they were now it made her feel so calm and relaxed and like everything was okay, even if she knew it wasn't. She could even feel the few specks of stubble around his chin and cheek which tickled her skin and made her want to laugh at the feeling.

"What have you been up to?" (Y/n) tried her best to make conversation when they pulled back and she moved to guide Harry down the hall and into the kitchen.

She knew her own house well enough that she didn't have to hold onto the walls to guide herself anymore, she could count her steps just to make sure she was right and she could hold her hands out to make sure she wouldn't barge into the walls but she knew where she was going and what she was doing.

"I've been at the studio, mostly. Took Elliot out to the zoo but he didn't like it very much. What about you?"

When they reached the kitchen, (Y/n) felt around for the counter on her left and used it as leverage to pull herself over to the fridge.

"I've been at the piano this week, had a new idea for a song for you. Do you want a drink?"

(Y/n) came up with a lot of melodies on the piano and a few chords on the violin for Harry's songs and he either came up with lyrics that went with the tune or vice versa, (Y/n) made the tune to fit how he wanted to sing the songs. She didn't work on many of Harry's songs but she did a fair few from time to time and Harry loved working with (Y/n).

"Just juice, please." Harry sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen but his eyes narrowed as he studied (Y/n). She sounded off, her voice wasn't as bouncy as normal and she wasn't smiling as brightly and lighting up the room like she normally did. Nor did she seem to walk around effortlessly, she was reaching out a bit more for the counters showing her mind was clearly somewhere else. Harry hoped he hadn't disturbed her by coming round if she was preoccupied or in the middle of something.

Reaching his hand out, Harry gently held (Y/n)'s elbow to help her find the stool next to him and know where he was before she sat down, placing a drink in front of each of them.

"Ella's happy you came by, she's missed Elliot."

"(Y/n) is something wrong? You seem a bit... upset." Harry curled his fingers around the glass resting on the counter in front of him but his eyes were focused solely on his friend who was sitting beside him at the kitchen counter. He leaned his elbows forward on the counter, arching his back out as he watched (Y/n) closely.

He knew all of her little ticks and antics, when she started to scratch the palms of her hands or rub at her neck it meant she was getting anxious or that something was wrong and Harry hated to see her panic. Harry had also picked up on the fact that whenever (Y/n) was frustrated or very overly worried, she would start to clean the house a lot. She would try and clean the counters until she thought they were sparkling, she would tidy everything away so the house was spotless and then she would start over again trying to clean her house that was always pristine anyway.

"I um... I saw my social worker today... they know James moved out." (Y/n) traced her finger around the rim of her glass as she felt relieved for once that she couldn't see Harry's expression.

"What did she say?"

Harry took a sip of his juice to try and calm his nerves that were slowly getting rattled and uneasy. (Y/n) was one of the closest people to Harry and he had and always would help her out wherever possible and if anything upset or hurt her then it hurt him too.

He knew that when (Y/n) and James split up it would cause (Y/n) a lot of problems because he was a safety net for her. Ella was their daughter and that meant James was always around to help (Y/n), no one thought she was incapable of caring for Ella or treated her differently or inferior because she had help and support from her partner. When he moved out Harry also knew that (Y/n) didn't tell her social worker because when they knew she was living on her own with Ella they would make more visits to see her and think she was incapable of being a single mother simply because she couldn't see.

"She's going to be coming round every week and soon she'll do an assessment, to..."

"An assessment for what?"

"Child services haven't been involved when Ella was born because I had James and his family, I had a network of people in case I did something wrong. They h-have to assess whether I'm capable of living with Ella on my own and if I'm not I c-can't have custody of her anymore."

Even though (Y/n)'s eyes were unfocused and jittering side to side, it didn't stop Harry from seeing the pool of emotions surfacing in them like ripples forming on the water. He could see the pain and the fear in (Y/n)'s eyes because for the first time, she was faced with the threat of having her child taken away from her.

With (Y/n) unable to see it meant that social services were involved when she had Eleanor to make sure she was capable of caring for Eleanor on her own. (Y/n) couldn't see if something happened to Ella, she only had her hearing and her touch to navigate and work with and she could burn herself or accidentally scold Ella. She could trip and fall unconscious with no one else home except for Ella, something could happen to Ella and (Y/n) have no means to get her any help. There were any number of things that could happen and it meant (Y/n) needed people around her to help.

When she was with James she lived with him and his family were close by and those connections meant (Y/n) could be a mother because she had people to help her when she needed assistance and they were a safety network in case something happened or went wrong. Now James had moved out (Y/n) was on her own and that was deemed as a risk for Ella if (Y/n) didn't have any friends or family helping and close by every day.

If she was deemed incapable or at risk then Ella would either be with James full time or possibly even put into care or with a relative or in the system. (Y/n) could still see Ella but she couldn't have custody and (Y/n) couldn't have anyone taking her child away from her because she loved and needed Ella.

"But if they think you're capable on your own-"

"They won't." (Y/n) dragged her nails through her hair, scratching at her scalp as she tried to stop herself from having a panic attack. She could feel her lungs starting to tighten and her chest felt heavier like stones were setting in her lungs and weighing her down.

(Y/n)'s finger started to tap against the counter as she leaned her head on her other hand, her unfocused eyes moving over where she guessed Harry's face was. She could feel his presence in front of her, she could feel his knee touching her own and his eyes burning into her frame and she could even feel his breaths pushing her way. When she felt Harry's hand enveloping over her own that was tapping away on the counter, she wanted to smile but she couldn't quite manage it.

"But you've had custody of her for the past four years and you did just fine when she was a baby."

"Harry, I can't see the house, you know I need things in the right place but Ella doesn't understand. If she leaves a toy around I could trip and fall, if she gets hurt upstairs I might not know for an hour or more. What happens if I hurt myself and can't get help? What if I burn myself or burn her?"

(Y/n) couldn't see the house but she had it planned out in her head like blueprints. She had to have every chair, every book, every bin and ornament and picture frame in the same place so she could get around and know where everything was. But Ella didn't understand that because she was only four, she would get books and toys out and not put them away and (Y/n) could fall on those toys or trip or get confused and hurt herself.

If (Y/n) fell unconscious Ella would be scared and alone until she woke up or someone happened to come by. If Ella hurt herself upstairs and (Y/n) didn't hear anything she wouldn't know for an uncertain amount of time. Anything could go wrong and with (Y/n) being here on her own it increased the risks that were diminished when she was living with James.

"But you haven't ever done that-"

"That doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Mum isn't well, she can't come round and help and my brother is two hours away. James wants custody of her, his parents won't try and help me they want Ella to live with him."

(Y/n) couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes when she thought about how everything was stacking up against her. It didn't matter that she and James had been together for six years or that they tried to end things on good terms, he wanted custody of Ella. He didn't think (Y/n) could care for her on her own and that meant his family were going to try and help him get custody.

James' parents would help (Y/n) by looking after Ella but they wouldn't be round every day to give help and support like they had done before. They weren't willing to do that because they wanted Ella with James. And (Y/n)'s mother wasn't well right now so she couldn't be round to help out like (Y/n)'s social worker wanted, she wanted (Y/n) to have people able to come and help (Y/n) and even her brother wasn't living nearby.

"What if you lived with me?"

(Y/n) hadn't heard him right. Surely, she hadn't heard right what Harry had just said to her. Why would he say something like that, why would he say that when they weren't a couple and it didn't help him out?

"What?"

"If you lived with me and Elliot, wouldn't your social worker say that was okay? I'd be there just like when James lived here, I can help with Ella and if you need anything I'll be there and mum wouldn't mind coming round whenever you need her."

The sincerity in Harry's voice made (Y/n)'s eyes flood with tears at the gesture he was presenting her with. He was willing to be so selfless to try and help her and Ella out but (Y/n) couldn't do that, she couldn't go and stay with Harry because it wouldn't be fair. He was always in the media and she didn't want people speculating or asking him questions or making his life any harder than it already was. Besides, he had Elliot, it might confuse or upset him if she and Ella suddenly turned up to live with them. (Y/n) couldn't impose on Harry like that, it would be cruel.

"That... that's more than generous Harry, but I- I couldn't. You have Elliot to consider and the press and I couldn't impose on your mother either... besides, I thought you were trying to work things out with Sally?"

"You know my mum loves you, I want to help and it seems like you either need a friend to be very close by or you need to live with someone who can help. If they thought you were in a stable relationship with me they would know you were both being looked after and that you were still capable of looking after Ella with that safety net under you."

Harry could see how this would play out for (Y/n), she either needed a few close friends to be around her almost every day to help out with taking Ella to school and tidying up or generally helping with Ella's well-being or buying groceries or making dinner. Or (Y/n) needed to live with someone who could help and be there just in case something were to happen. Harry wanted to be that person but he knew it would be easier for (Y/n) and Ella to live with him rather than him coming round every day or every few days because it would be easier to live together and it would make (Y/n) seem more protected and surrounded by helping hands.

Anne knew (Y/n) and she was very fond of her, she wouldn't mind at all coming to help (Y/n) out with anything or just being around every now and then.

"W-why would you do that for me?"

"Because I know what a good mother you are and I want to help you. Look, I'm not after anything from you (Y/n), but just think about it. If you lived with me and Elliot it would show that you had and were accepting help, you wouldn't be alone and therefore not in any danger or seen as a concern and your social worker would be happy."

"What about you?" (Y/n) knew she sounded sceptical and a little rude which was by no means her intention but she couldn't help but wonder how this would affect Harry. He had the purest heart of anyone (Y/n) knew or had ever come across, but this was a very selfless act that didn't seem to do any favours for Harry himself.

"Believe it or not, I'd get company out of this. It gets lonely just me and Elliot and I don't like being lonely, plus it gives him a bit more stability if you're around. He can have someone else there to help and someone his own age and I think it might calm him down a bit and give him a family."

Harry had a big house but he hated it when there was so much room and only two people in the whole house. It got lonely especially when Elliot went to bed or was at school and Harry got the odd day off or the time to practise in his home. He hated being lonely which was why before Elliot was born Harry stayed with friends a lot even though he had a big house to himself. He liked to surround himself with people and friends and family and if (Y/n) lived with him he wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

As for Elliot, Harry knew he needed more stability in his life.

At the moment, Elliot lived with Harry but had to go to stay with Anne when Harry was at work or off doing interviews or when he was on tour Elliot couldn't always come along. If (Y/n) came to stay then Elliot would have another adult to learn from and be around and basically a sibling to be around and it would give him more stability and more of a family feeling.

Elliot was six and he had learning difficulties, he needed someone around his age to be around and be friends with and a routine that (Y/n) could help provide for him if she stayed over. It would also give Elliot a motherly figure to be around and learn from and look up to because he didn't see his own mother nearly as much as he should. He didn't even want to be with his mum, he wanted Harry, his aunt Jessica and Anne and that was it.

"What do I do when you get into a relationship? Harry, I can't move in with you because it isn't a permanent solution. I'll end up moving back on my own and be back to square one again."

(Y/n) was so tempted to just say yes and see where this goes but she couldn't. This wasn't permanent. When Harry got into a relationship and wanted to move forward and move in together (Y/n) would have to leave and this wasn't the best solution. They would be living together but when things changed and (Y/n) eventually had to move out again she would be back to the same place she is now and without a solution to make everything better.

"I'm trying to work things out with Sally to get her help and try to get her back into Elliot's life. I'll always have a love for her, but I'm not in love with her anymore or looking for a relationship with her. I know this isn't forever but lots of people move in together to pay bills or so they aren't alone or to help with kids and this isn't any different. I'd never cast you out, you know that and you might find someone or a friend to live with or you might end up with friends around to help so you can live on your own again with Ella. I don't know, but for now I think this could help us both out."

Harry thought this could be permanent, at least for now. He knew a lot of people shared flats and houses so it saved on paying the bills and it gave company and safety and and a feeling of relief to some. Not everyone lived together because they were in love or in a relationship.

If (Y/n) fell for someone and wanted to move in together she could always do that or she may find another friend to stay with or she might find a friendship group or a few close friends who would be willing to come round and help her out so she could live independently again. Harry didn't know what the future held but for now he knew this was what they both needed and they could easily make this work if they wanted to.

"Harry, are you really sure about this?"

"Of course I am, come and live with me, let me help you."

When Harry squeezed her hand (Y/n) could feel the tears falling from her eyes again. She had been so worried about what she was going to do and how she was going to go about things if she was deemed unfit to care for Ella but Harry had thrown her a lifeline. He was making sure she could still be with and care for her daughter whilst also trying to secure stability for his son and cure his loneliness.

He didn't have to do any of this for (Y/n) but he was and she couldn't be more grateful to him for it.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #dad! harry styles #imagine #problem solved

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

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M’Baku’s Love- Chapter 2

Sorry, had to repost it. For some reason it was all blacked out on mobile? Idk, it’s weird and I’m still trying to understand tumblr.

Anywho, here’s Chapter 2 of M’Baku’s Love. Check out my masterlist HERE to read chapter 1 if you haven’t already, and take a look at my other stories as well. As always, let me know what you think or if you want to be tagged in anything. Enjoy!

Word count: 2689

M’Baku pulled up to the Outreach Center a little earlier than necessary on Tuesday. He got out the automated car and leaned against it, crossing his arms as he scanned over the building and its surroundings while reflecting on the mission at hand. If they were successful, thousands of Black children, millions if they expand, would be given a better education and connected to their old, pre-colonizer ways.

He smiled at the thought and turned to grab his things, when he noticed a small rainbow dash from the other side of the parking lot into the building. It took him a moment to process what he saw, but he realized it was Miss In a Hurry, rushing yet again. He smiled fondly and shook his head before heading towards the Outreach Center, opening the door and heading inside the cool, air conditioned building.

Once the chief settled in his office he went over the assistant files one more time, preparing for their interviews. He went over his upcoming day in his head and remembered that his meeting with the head of the Arts Department was at 11. He smiled to himself, dreamily, at the thought of her bright teal hair and her deep dark eyes, but shook himself out of it when he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Mr. M’Baku?” a tall, slender man who looked to be in his early twenties stood in the doorway dressed in slacks and a button-down.

“Yes, who is asking?”

“Deontae Greene, I’m here for my interview,” the young man introduced himself. They shook hands and the interview began. Truthfully, M’Baku didn’t need to interview the other candidates, he had already decided on hiring Deontae the moment his interview ended. He went through the motions of the second and third interview, focusing on the clock more than the interviewees. As soon as his third interview ended, he called Deontae to offer him the position, then went for a quick walk around the center to stretch his legs.

M’Baku found himself outside one of Shuri’s STEM courses, watching as the middle school aged children learned coding languages. She waved him in, and he tentatively stepped inside.

“Everybody, this is M’Baku. He’s the leader of the Jabari tribe in Wakanda.”

A chorus of “Hi M’Baku” erupted from the room, and he smiled before greeting them back.

“Mholo, children. What are you working on today?”

A little girl in the back with braces and pigtails was the first to answer.

“Princess Shuri is teaching us how to make computers work by telling it what to do in different computer languages.”

M’Baku looked at Shuri in confusion and she waved it off to explain later.

The large chief walked around the room to get a look at what they were doing, but quickly made it back to the front of the room when he caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall.

“I have a meeting, or I would stay longer princess.”

“Go, and don't be a stranger to this side of the center. Technology isn't all bad,” Shuri said with a wink as he left and shut the door behind him.

M’Baku’s long legs carried him back to his office in record time, where he was met with the sight of the head of the arts department sitting cross-legged in the chair outside his office, writing in a notebook.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, I wandered down to the STEM wing and lost track of time,” M’Baku rambled on until she looked up at him. Today she had on gold wire-rimmed glasses instead of her red cat-eye frames from the day before, and he liked that he could see her eyes better with this pair. When their eyes met his heart thumped a little louder and his skin felt a little warmer. He watched a small smile brighten up her face as she set her notebook down before unravelling her legs to stand up.

“I wasn’t waiting long. Plus it was your turn to be running late this time,” she responded. M’Baku gestured for her to enter the office first and she obliged before perching cross-legged in the chair across from him. He rounded the desk and sat down, looking into her eyes.

“I do not believe we were properly introduced to one another,” he held out his hand to her, shaking it from across the desk. “I am M’Baku, as you already know from yesterday.”

“Monae Johnson. It’s nice to officially meet you, M’Baku. And my apologies about the other day, I accidentally took a nap and woke up with barely enough time to- I’m rambling, my bad, I do that sometimes.” She rubbed the back of her head..

“It is no problem, really,” more than anything, M’Baku found her adorable.

“So did you end up trying the place I suggested?”

“Yes, I am actually glad you ran into me. I loved The V Spot. It was an excellent recommendation, thank you.” M’Baku had to give props where they were due and this woman definitely knew food. “You must tell me, what else is good in the area?”

“There’s so much! What do you like?”

“I am new to most cuisines, but I am open. Our meeting ends around lunchtime, would you care to accompany me and show me something I might like?”

Monae’s chest tightened up at his seemingly unintended double entendre. The man before her was fine as aged wine and she was having a very difficult time concentrating on the conversation, instead wishing she could see how soft his lips are. She looked down at the ring on her left ring finger and sighed, knowing she’d regret her decision.

“I’d love to.”

______

“You’re a vegan, right?”

“Vegetarian, but vegan is fine.”

“Ever tried Indian food?”

“I cannot say that I have.”

“Come on, there’s a place around here with some really good lunch specials. I hope you like it.”

“Well your last suggestion was superb, so I trust you,” he said with a wink. Monae blushed and turned away, but not before he noticed. M’Baku fought to contain his smile and cleared his throat. “So are you from Oakland?”

“Nope, I’m from Nashville. A southern girl at heart,” she said with her best southern debutante affectation. “I came to Cali for college and just never left.”

“What made you stay?”

“Honestly? It never gets cold here, not the type of cold that seeps into your bones anyway. The worst I’ve felt here is chilly. I’m not made for anything below 50 degrees.”

“As chief of the Jabari I must say I am a little offended, Miss Johnson.”

Monae’s face twisted up, but then softened when she saw the glint in his eye. Was he flirting?

“My apologies, your highness,” she said with a curtsey. “But I’ll admire it from afar.” Her ring flashed in her line of vision, but she shook it out of her mind.

“Besides, you are wrong. Anything over 40 degrees is unfit for habitation. The weather here makes me want to crawl into my refrigerator.”

Monae shivered at the thought.

The two of them arrived at Bombay Palace and since he trusted her judgement, she ordered for the table. The waiter took their menus and quickly brought their waters with lemon slices.

“Are you a vegetarian as well?”

“Um sometimes. I don't eat red meat, but I still eat fish and poultry on occasion. I’m mostly plant-based though. I read that the Jabari are pescetarian, what made you switch over?”

“You have been reading about us, eh?”

“Well I like to know who I’m working with, and I imagine that over the next few months we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, so yes I read about the Jabari.”

“Yes, I would hope so,” M’Baku said before taking a sip of his water while watching her. He noticed her shiver under his gaze and adjust herself in the booth and he smirked, knowing he was getting to her. “And I just do not like the taste of fish very much. Earlier you mentioned having a dance background, do you still dance?”

“I’m so busy I barely have enough time nowadays outside of teaching a class at the center here and there.”

The waiter returned with their samosa appetizer and Monae danced in her seat a little, making M’Baku crack a smile at her endearing antics. They both dug in, M’Baku immediately thanking Hanuman for the food he had received. The familiar yet unfamiliar tastes swirled around in his mouth like a gold medal ice skater at the winter olympics, and he couldn’t get enough.

“Mmm, what is this?”

“Samosas.”

“I could eat this for the rest of my life and die a happy man.”

Monae giggled and almost choked on her food, “This is just the first course, wait until you taste the paneer.”

The two of them continued to talk as more food came out, not watching the time at all.

“How does your family feel about you living so far away?”

“Well my little sister is in college at NYU, living her own life, and my parents died six years ago in a car crash, so they don't feel much of anything anymore.”

He was torn between laughing at her joke and feeling a deep sadness for her loss.

“What’s your family like?”

“I am the oldest of ten-”

“Ten?!”

“Yes.”

“Your poor mama...”

M’Baku’s laughter roared through the restaurant and forced a laugh out of Monae as well. Of course his laugh was as big as he was, and her mind briefly wondered if everything about him was proportional to his size before she was pulled out of her daydream by a ringing telephone. She looked down and her face dropped when she read the name on her screen. “Shit. Uh, sorry I have to answer this- Hi honey...yeah of course...uh-huh...no, just out at lunch with a colleague-”

He couldn’t believe his ears. He knew for a fact that she was flirting with him, yet here he was talking to her “honey.” He wanted to roll his eyes, but instead returned them to his bowl and kept eating.

“Hey, D, can I call you back? We’re just about done here...Ok, bye.” She hung up the phone and cleared her throat.

“Boyfriend?”

“Fiance actually,” she said, showing off the ring on her finger.

“Interesting…”

“What is?”

M’Baku leaned back in his chair and looked into her eyes as he spoke.

“I was not aware you were already spoken for.”

Something about the tone of his voice made her face heat up and she crossed her legs tighter.

“I have my ring on, what would make you think otherwise?”

“That right there,” he gestured to her flushed skin and fidgeting lower half. “You are awfully flirty for someone who is betrothed.”

Monae had hoped he wouldn’t notice and they could carry on like earlier, but the moment was ruined.

M’Baku looked at his watch, realizing they spent almost two hours at the restaurant. “We should get back to the center, I am sure we are missed.”

“M’Baku, I’m sorry to lead you on, but that wasn’t my intention, I just-”

“There is no need to explain, Monae.” He flashed her his gap-toothed smile and called for the waiter to bring their check. He paid, not without plenty of arguing on her end, and they headed back to work.

Shortly after he made it back to his desk the king and prince barged in.

“Soooo…?” N’Jadaka tried to get the conversation going, but M’Baku wasn’t following.

“How did it go?” T’Challa added.

“How did what go?”

The cousins looked at each other in exasperation, and yet again the hot headed prince pushed the issue further.

“Your date nigga! We saw you and Monae walking all close and shit.”

“It was not a date,” He loved the Udakus dearly, but Hanuman, they could be an annoying and intrusive bunch. “She is engaged.”

“Barely,” the cousins said with an eye roll.

“What do you mean ‘barely’?”

“My friend, she has been engaged for three years now with no wedding plans in place and he is almost never home. Like we said: barely.”

M’Baku would never knowingly break up a happy home, but he saw her body language on the phone and she didn’t seem to be as into her fiance as she was into him. Yes he was shiny and new, but the exasperation in her voice at his interruption told him what he needed to know.

“Far be it from me to advocate for adultery, but-”

“It ain't far from me, cuz,” N’Jadaka butted in. “Bak, that beautiful fairy of a woman likes your big ape ass for some reason. Fuck that nigga, she was looking at you like you’re already daddy.”

M’Baku looked over to T’Challa who was nodding in agreement. He had watched her during their department head meeting and every time M’Baku spoke she perked up and the tension fell from her shoulders. She was definitely feeling him.

“I have met this fiance just once and did not get a good vibe from him. I am not sure what it is yet, but there is something-”

M’Baku cut him off before he could even finish. He knew if he let them continue they would end up hatching a plan and roping him into it, so he nipped it in the bud.

“Do not worry about it, I would prefer to remain unattached for the short while I am here, anyway. Now if you know someone who would like something more casual, I would not mind meeting them at some point.”

“I’ll keep an eye out, brother”

“I think the newest history teacher is single, or at least there's no ring on her finger. I can’t remember her name though, is it Keisha? Naima? Whatever it is, she’s fine as hell,” N’Jadaka’s hands outlined her voluptuous body for him, which caught his interest. “I’ll see what I can do. We gon get you some pussy bruh, on Bast.”

T’Challa simply nodded in agreement again.

“Thank you both for your concern,” M’Baku responded dryly. “Now if you gentlemen would excuse me, I have to meet with the social studies department head in a minute.”

“We understand when we are not wanted, but please at least let N’Jadaka set you up. You need to get back out there again, it’s been more than enough time,” the king patted his friend’s shoulder before leaving the room, his cousin doing the same.

______

M’Baku’s last meeting didn’t end until 5 pm, and he was more than ready to get home, cook dinner, and watch a little more Fresh Prince. He packed up his things and headed out towards his car, when out of the corner of his eye he spotted Monae on the other side of the parking lot struggling with several boxes. He jogged over and took them from her hands.

“Here, let me.”

“How are you everywhere?” She laughed.

“You are just lucky, I guess.” He flashed her his million-dollar smile and she was hooked again. Derrick be damned.

“Yeah, I guess I am...um, thank you M’Baku...well uh, I should go. Busy day tomorrow with the open house and all.”

“Ah yes, what exactly is an open house?”

She chuckled at his naivety.

“Basically people from the community get to come here after hours to see what we offer. Think of it like a mass tour.”

“Interesting, well since I have nothing to show them on this tour I am sure I will have time to help if you need it.”

“Thank you, M’Baku, I just might take you up on that.”

“Good. Well, you should go home and rest for the big day ahead. I will see you tomorrow Monae.”

“Get home safe!”

It warmed his heart to hear her caring about his safety, even if it's something she said to everybody. A dreamy smile parted his lips and he felt as if she had just kissed his cheek and sent him on his way.

“You as well, Monae. You as well...”

Next Chapter

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #m'baku #m'baku's love #m'baku x oc #black!oc #fluff #jada kingdom

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cudan2 · 5 years ago

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Starbucks and Skin Grafts

Spring Break Shadowing Part 2

Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Word Count: 2,206

Summary: You’re starting your second day of shadowing with Dr. Cullen and get to learn more about him.

A/N: I underestimated the amount of research I’d have to do for this series woops. I’m pre-dent and not pre-med, so if anyone here is actually a doctor or a med student or even knows more about medicine than I do, feel free to tell me what details I should change! (I really did try my best though, but it’s turning out to be more Grey’s Anatomy-esque)

Anyways, this is #4 on my headcanon list.

Masterlist

XXX

When the train stops at the 168th Street Station, you make your first task of the day to find Doctor Cullen. The campus is growing to be familiar territory, but it’s still massive and you find yourself getting lost on the main surgical floor despite already getting directions from a receptionist. Your frustration begin growing as you turn another corner and realize you’re still as lost as before.

“Just the person I’ve been looking for!” a familiar voice calls out. You turn to look over your shoulder and find the doctor you’d spent the last fifteen minutes searching for. He’s wearing a white coat and lacking the scrub cap from the previous day. So he’s blonde, you notice, not a single strand out of place. You take several steps towards him to meet him halfway.

“Good morning, Doctor Cullen. I’m sorry for not meeting with you earlier. It might have been a little difficult to track you down,” you give a sheepish smile.

“Don’t worry, it can certainly take weeks to learn how to navigate this hospital. I’ve just finished doing my morning rounds, so there is about twenty minutes before I meet for a pre-op. Why don’t we grab some coffee and get to know each other a bit more?” Before you can even give an answer, your stomach growls loudly and you mentally berate yourself for not eating anything beforehand. “Perhaps a little less coffee and some more food would be beneficial for you instead,” Doctor Cullen chuckles.

By the time you reach the Starbucks on the first floor of the hospital, you’ve learned the basics about him and vice versa. He’s a plastic surgeon, this was his first year as an attending, he moved here about five months ago, actually started working here four months ago, and attended University of Washington in Seattle for both his undergrad and medical school.

Meanwhile, you currently attend school away from home at New York University, you’re in your third year of college, majoring in biology, minoring in psychology, and on track to graduate a semester early.

“Hey, Doc! The usual as always?” you hear as you make it to the front of the Starbucks line with Doctor Cullen.

“Good morning, Emily. Yes, the usual as always.”

“Sounds good! Will that be all?” Both the barista and the doctor look towards at you.

You splutter out your intended order and lean towards Doctor Cullen as Emily is writing your name on a cup. “You really don’t have to pay for the food and stuff. I mean, I brought cash so–”

“Think of it as compensation. I can’t imagine how many people actually enjoy being up this early in the morning, especially seeing how this is your spring break. Besides, I think you’ll find you need the energy to keep up with me today. I must warn you though, it won’t all lap appys and fun like with Doctor Stone.”

“I like a good challenge,” you smirk at him. He gazes back at you with a twinkle in his eyes and a soft smile and you can’t help the fact that your heart starts beating just a little faster.

Another barista call your names out and you’re suddenly reminded that this is the real world.

“Thanks for the breakfast,” you quickly say, breaking eye contact and grabbing the orders from the counter. Stop thinking about how pretty his eyes are, you tell yourself, even if they do look like pure amber. Doctor Cullen follows suite and goes to grab his grande-sized cup.

“Careful, wouldn’t want to burn the surgeon hands,” you notice the amount steam coming out of the lid and hand him a sleeve for the cup. When he accepts the sleeve from your outstretched arm, you see a peculiar expression on his face and hear a soft chuckle from him before he thanks you. It’s almost as though he knew something you didn’t.

The two of you walk back to his office so he can grab his notes on the patient. On the way there, he tells you more about his daily life as a plastic surgeon as you eat. He’s done so many different procedures that you can barely keep track of the list. There’s a lot less liposuctions and facelifts – those were for the cosmetic surgeons – and more reconstructions and repairs in his line of work.

“The patient you’re about to meet was in a car accident two years ago,” Doctor Cullen explains. “He received extensive burns to the face and neck, all of which have scarred over now. Our goal is to reduce the scarring and give him back some mobility.”

Before you can ask any questions, Doctor Cullen is already knocking on the patient’s door and entering. The door opens to reveal the patient sitting up in bed along and a woman standing beside him. The other two doctors in the room wore ceil blue scrubs – residents, you note, following Doctor Cullen into the room.

“There’s the man of the hour!” The woman exclaims.

“Mom!” The patient lets out an exasperated groan.

“What? As if you aren’t excited to see the handsome doctor either, Tyler!” You try your best not to laugh but can see the two residents smother their own smiles behind fake coughs. Doctor Cullen is the one to accept the indirect compliment and bids both the patient and his mother a hello.

“Tyler, I have a student shadowing me for the week, if you wouldn’t mind another pair of eyes in the room?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. I’ve definitely experienced a whole lot worse,” Tyler responds.

“Perfect. Doctor Wang, would you present the case?”

One of the residents looks up from her charts and begins reciting the details as if it were second nature. “Tyler Sardella, age 24, scheduled for scar revision.”

“And what procedures will we be performing today?”

“We’ll be planting an autograft and doing a Z-plasty to minimize the appearance of scarring. Skin grafting will help give a bigger range of motion in the neck, accelerate the healing process, and prevent any future scarring.” Her words exude confidence and you hope to sound like that one day. Skin graft and Z-plasty... you’re not entirely familiar with the terms but store them in the back of your head. After all, you’re here to learn.

Doctor Cullen gives a nod of approval to Doctor Wang and turns back to Tyler. “Tyler, do you have any last-minute questions before we send you to the OR?”

“Nope! I’m so ready to turn my head 180 degrees again.”

“Sounds good, I’ll see you soon then.”

You give a quick nod to Tyler and his mother as both Doctor Cullen and you take your leave. The two residents reconvene with their attending several minutes later and exchange words before they both head off to prepare for the surgery.

You stand around awkwardly for a moment as Doctor Cullen looks over the charts. He suddenly calls your name out, eyes still scanning over his notes.

Your response is to stand up just slightly straighter as you say, “Yes?”

“What procedures will we be performing on Tyler?”

Well shit, you certainly weren’t expecting him to ask you that.

“Um, you’re planting a skin graft, an autograft to be more specific, and then doing a Z-plasty.” You’re unsure and your voice shows it. Of course you could regurgitate words, but it’s hard to explain any further when you didn’t know the meanings to those words.

Doctor Cullen looks up from his charts with that twinkle in his eyes again and a smirk playing on his lips. “Correct!” he exclaims and laughs when he sees the petrified expression you’re wearing from being caught off guard. “Y/N, I did warn you it wasn’t going to be easy. However, I may have failed to mention it was going to be me making your experience here more difficult.”

“Why though?”

“What can I say? I like to keep my students on their toes. It keeps things interesting.”

You huffed and followed him to the OR. Challenge accepted.

Scrubbed – check, PPE – check, scrub cap – well, that was for Doctor Cullen, but check. He’s still scrubbing when you hear him.

“Are you sure you want to be in there? It’s going to take approximately three hours.”

“You told me that,” you remind him. “And I told you that I like a challenge.”

“Alright, but please let me know if you feel any fatigue. I can ask one of the nurses to bring in a chair or you can step out for some air–”

“I will be fine,” you insist. “I sit all day in class, standing for three hours will be a good change of pace.” The concern etched into his face is almost endearing, but really, you’re going to be fine.

Everything and everyone is prepped and ready to go by the time you two enter the OR. You make sure to stand in an area that gives you a perfect view of the surgery but would not get in the way of anyone else. Doctor Cullen has his loupes on and you start feeling the high that comes with observing any sort of surgical procedure. It’s not every day that a mere undergrad like you can witness this kind of stuff.

Two hours later, you are still engrossed in the surgery. There’s 80s music playing in the background at the request of the two residents from earlier, who are now chatting away. About fifteen minutes in, Doctor Cullen had properly introduced you to his residents, Lily Wang and Jaime Montes.

Doctor Stone was great and all, but there is something about the blonde doctor that really makes him stand out as a surgeon to you. He’s able to cut and suture whilst explaining the entire procedure to you. He makes all of this seem so... effortless. Although Lily and Jaime are working as much as Doctor Cullen, it’s clear who the leader in the room is.

“You said you went to University of Washington for your undergrad and med school. What made you decide to work here instead of staying in Seattle?” you ask Doctor Cullen suddenly. The conversations around you die down. It seems you aren’t the only one curious about the surgeon.

“I suppose it felt like the right decision at the time.” He glances hesitantly at you from the head of the table before looking back to his work. You can tell there’s more to the story. “I previously worked in a hospital in a small town called Forks.”

“Forks? As in the thing you eat with?” Jaime asks and everyone around you laughs.

“Yes, Forks. It had less than 4,000 inhabitants, so you can imagine the lack of cases like these. The other residents would have gone crazy. It was peaceful for some time but I was ready to move on. It’s a silly notion now that I say it out loud, but I wanted to make an impact on the people I treated.”

“You weren’t making a difference in Forks,” you say. It isn’t a question, but a statement.

“Exactly. One of my deciding factors in working for Columbia was its resources and size. Here, I could save more people to the best of my ability with the most advance resources available.”

Once the surgery reaches its conclusion, you go scrub out with Doctor Cullen as everyone else stays to finish up. You unceremoniously flop onto the bench outside the OR, propriety be damned. Your feet are sore and you wish you could be wearing scrubs and sneakers instead of business-casual clothing.

A water bottle enters your peripheral and you look up to the person handing it to you. Doctor Cullen’s scrub cap is gone once again and his blonde hair is slightly astray.

“Thanks,” is all you can say as you grab the bottle and take a nice, long drink from it. “Nice hair by the way.” Doctor Cullen has the audacity to look down rather bashfully and runs a hand through his hair. Great, now he looks even more attractive.

“You survived,” he says.

“I did.”

“I’m impressed.”

You let out a snort.

“You’re impressed? You, Lily, and Jaime were the ones doing everything. I literally stood there for three and a half hours! I should be the one that’s impressed.”

“You showed resilience. I have a feeling most students your age would have given in for a chair at least.”

“Yeah, I did tell you I like a challenge,” you point out, even if you did feel like never standing again.

“You also asked very good questions, Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short. You have a lot of potential in this field whether you think it or not. Now go get some lunch, you deserve a break.” He sticks out a hand and you grab it to get up. Damn, his hands are cold. “I have some paperwork to file, so I’ll catch up with you later.”

“I’ll see you then,” you say and begin walking in the direction of the cafeteria.

“Y/N!” you hear him halfway down the hallway and turn to look over your shoulder. “How are we treating the donor site wound?”

You decide to keep walking.

#carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #carlisle cullen imagine #twilight imagines #twilight reboot #twilight revival #twilight saga #twilight #I also never intended on this part to be so long #it just happened #i know nothing about plastic surgery #please do not attack me on my lack of medical knowledge #i only know teeth #doctor daddy cullen #twilight fanfic

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afterspark-podcast · 5 years ago

Text

Transformers (2007): Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: And now I'm just imagining him showing up at this little old grandma's house, ripping up the house and being like, “HOW DARE YOU!?!”

[Intro Music]

S: Welcome... to hell!

O: It’s time. It’s time for the Bay movies guys.

S: [sharp intake of breath] Welcome to our first anniversary special with the 2007 Transformers film!

O: Shall we talk about giant robots? [dissolves into laughter]

S: Yeah. Let's talk about giant robots, though we may be very unhappy by the end of this.

O: So first, an info dump, for what is most likely a refresher for the majority of you folks but a- the live-action Transformers movie was directed by [deadpan] Michael Bay and uh, starring Shia LaBeouf.

S: The movie did incredibly well at the box office and introduced a lot of people to the franchise and um, these people may have been unaware of it [the Transformers franchise] before or hadn't seen a prior but it was an introduction at least for most.

O: Which is probably the most positive thing that we can say about this movie. The movie franchise is likely the main reason we got the Transformers Prime TV series and even brought more readers to the first IDW comic run. Which maybe wasn't super great at the time the movie came out, but got way better! [laughs]

S: Yeah, I mean, IDW also had comics based on the movie, in addition to the main IDW G1-

O: And I haven’t read those yet, but yeah.

S: I don't think we've made our disdain for this movie a secret but just in case, neither of us enjoy this movie.

O: Like, at all.

S: So if you personally like this movie this episode may not be for you. Um, we're sorry guys.

O: [laughs] We are, actually, because I- I know there are people out there who like it. We're not those people, but we will be back for a normal G1 schtick later, so uh, please join us then.

S: That isn't to say that there hasn't been excellent fanfiction based off of this.

O: Eh, fanfiction, fanart-

S: Um-hm.

O: Oh my god, there- there was this one I saw the other day where somebody did like, a Transformers Animated of ah, Last Knight Megatron-

S: Oh!

O: -and I was like, “I legitimately like that! Good job, you!”

S: There’s some excellent fan work based on these movies.

O: Yeah, like, just hands down, but um... Well, down to brass tacks Specs, what was your first experience with this movie like?

S: Hmm, ah, well let's go back in time, shall we?

O: [makes woo noises]

S: So I didn't see it in theaters. Ah, my first experience with this movie was getting it for my birthday... yay.

B: [laughter]

O: Yay.

S: I watched it and um, and was like, “Okay... that was a thing. It exists, um, Bumblebee peed on a guy.” And I watched this with my parents, I'll have you know!

O: And it- it's way funnier when you know her parents, who are extremely Catholic and her mother who is extremely Irish Catholic and imagining them watching this movie with her is hysterical .

S: My mom doesn't like sci-fi to begin with-

O: Yeah, right! And then, all of this was happening!

S: Yeah, my- my dad probably enjoyed it more because he likes explosions and stuff.

O: [laughs] He's a nice guy but he is- he- he, he's a simple man. He has simple criteria for the things he enjoys and I can respect that.

S: He actually really likes Terry Pratchett but let’s-

O: Oh, yes.

S: -let's get back to this. Uh, I don't think I uh, rewatched it for a while because uh, high school was happening and I had better things to be doing. You know, like reading fanfic or doing homework. Homework was more enjoyable than this.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] So I found the movie mostly just disappointing. While it did breathe new life into the fandom it seemed like most of the pre-existing fans that I- you know, knew or followed or was aware of, were disappointed by the designs and the story on like- specifically on the forum that I was frequenting at the time. Other people loved it and I mean, it did create a new influx of fans, so... that's a positive thing.

I was also super annoyed by the lack of Arcee because there was a decent toy of her and I own it. It's the only Bayverse toy I own, and then they had Arcee and two other characters that shared the same mold show up in the second movie and then die.

O: And- and these were not the same mold as the toy she [Specs] owns.

S: Yes.

O: To make this even weirder, like, Arcee did have a design apparently [in the first movie].

S: Yes, she was a nice motorcycle. She had legs in the first- for the first movie toy and then… then she was a unicycle thing-

O: Mm-hmm.

S: -in the second movie and then they all died. And I don't own any other toys from ah- from the Bayverse franchise, so let's go over to you.

O: Eh-heh-heh-ha! So, to my memory I first saw this in high school. I want to say it may have actually been something they showed at school? [My SO seems to remember the same thing, so this was probably the case. ~O]

And in direct contrast to Specs, I went to public school in a rural area, no one gave a shit, so... I- I saw the second one in theaters, but I legitimately do not remember where I saw the first one. Uh, for the record, I thought it was fine! I had zero reference, beyond a foggy memory of Beast Machines- not even Beast Wars guys, Beast Machines. And hadn't seen G1 at all. I very vaguely knew who Optimus Prime was and pretty much nobody else.

No, it would take over a decade before this film franchise filled me with seething rage.

S: And you didn't even get into the fandom, when I tried interesting you in it. You got into it by yourself!

O: [laughs] I know! She tried! She tried in college! [laughs] Which is why, I was like, “Hey, I want to watch Beast Wars!” It was like, not looking where I was going and walking off a cliff! [laughs]

S: Pretty much, and then I just threw TV shows at you.

O: She just like, thew DVD’s down the cliff at me! [continues laughing]

S: And comics.

O: Which I mean...I didn’t really mind...but I love that description so much.

S: [laughs]

O: But, uh, all of this aside, I will be saying my media recommendation for the day here, instead of at the end. I strongly recommend watching Lindsey Ellis’, “The Whole Plate.” Which is a series about film studies through the lens of Transformers. Not only is excellent breaking these movies down in the context of film, and film theory, but it's informative and done by someone else who clearly loves Transformers.

Pretty sure her favorite is Starscream, but I also think I saw a Wheeljack in the background of one of her videos, but do not quote me on that. Uh, it is at least partially due to Lindsey I started watching G1. Uh, the other YouTube culprit I'll likely recommend in a different video, heh, but needless to say she certainly didn't hurt. I'd been watching her, “Whole Plate,” series since 2017 so... over a year before I made that so fateful decision to borrow Beast Wars.

This recommendation also comes caveat: Because I've watched her videos, I know I've been heavily influenced by them and... it is likely I will talk about some of the same points that she's made... while we're going through this movie. So just, if- eh, this is me so this is me, um, cite--this is me giving you my citation for ah, my work, essentially.

Go watch Lindsey Ellis’ videos, they're fantastic.

S: And I suppose to counterpoint, I haven't seen any of her videos. So anything that I talk about that ends up accidentally being something that comes up in here is an accident.

O: The only- I think I showed you the- the Megan Fox video.

S: You might have, but at this point it's been so long ago that-

O: [quietly] That’s true..

S: -that I probably don't remember, or almost certainly don’t.

O: Fair! Anyway, definitely go- go, uh, watch her, because she's interesting. I-I feel like there’s- I’ve seen posts that like, seem like at least some people don't like her. So, I don't know what's going on there and I don't really want to find out. So if it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing and that's fine. Well! Ready for the movie?

S: Say it isn't so, but yes, yes I am.

O: [laughs] Here we go!

S: [sighs] We open with some opening narration by Optimus Prime played by Peter Cullen of the da--

O: -of Optimus Prime? [laughs]

S: Well, I was gonna say, “of the days of old.”

O: [laughs louder] Okay, fair! And I don't- I don’t care if he mostly in a cartoon voice over work, he is too good for this fucking movie!

S: He is. He gives us the backstory for Cybertron and the Autobot/Decepticon war and I think, you see someone spearing someone else with something in this…

O: It wouldn’t shock me. Something called the AllSpark is super important and they send it off planet to keep the Decepticons from getting it.

S: The Autobots couldn’t keep track of it either. They did not think this through.

O: Of course, it landed on an unknown planet, Eii-arth!

S: [snickers] Megatron apparently followed the AllSpark but pulled a Skyfire and got frozen in the Arctic, where he was found by a team of explorers led by Captain Archibald Witwicky. Doesn't that just sound like a manly man.

O: [laughing] He is!

S: The part of Skyfire will be played by Megatron in this movie.

O: Make sure to properly chill your Decepticon warlord for at least a couple of decades before serving.

S: Don't you mean a couple thousand years?

O: Shush!

B: [laugh]

S: Meanwhile, Skyfire’s sir not appearing in this picture.

O: Also, don't be fooled by the opening guys! Sure, Optimus may be talking now but it won't last. It'll be like, what? An hour before we get any more giant robots talking?

S: Probably. We cut to the Middle East in the um, ‘present’ day.

O: Well, present day ten years ago anyway.

S: It's soldiers doing transportation stuff on a military base... and a guy wants to eat alligators.

O: Fuck yeah, America- am I right!?!

S: It’s cuisine. The military partially funded these movies if anybody was unaware this really helps explain their presence in the movie series.

O: That and Bay's HUGE fuckin’ boner for ‘em.

S: The soldiers here are some of the better characters in the movie. They're funny, they work well off each other, and you know, [gasp] feel like they’re friends.

O: What a concept. An unknown helicopter lands at the base, transforming into a giant robot and starting to destroy said base.

S: The Decepticons apparently want US military codes or they're trying to find the AllSpark location, or something.

O: I can't help but think of Soundwave was here this would have been done so much more competently. Even Soundwave- even movie Soundwave is still competent.

S: Oh, probably. Uh, the Decepticon is Blackout by the way, who- I'm not sure we ever see or hear him talk?

O: Yeah, like, we might hear him talk in Cybertronian at the very end of the movie like, when it's like, doing the all the Decepticons gettin’ ready.

S: Hmm.

O: Um…

S: Maybe.

O: He never really is a character, um, but I hope you're ready for shaky cam video of this robot and not getting a good look at him!

S: Oh! Flying tanks, how novel.

O: [laughs] They fail to fight off the Decepticon and a small group of soldiers manages to escape the base, but not without being followed by Scorpinok.

S: Who is released by, um, Blackout cuz apparently he's his pet or something-

O: Something like that. The only thing you need to remember about this is that the main soldier is Lennox, and he is leading the group. The other characters have names. I had to look them up.

S: Yeah, they aren’t very big characters, unfortunately. It would have been more entertaining if-

B: -they were.

S: [sighs] And then suddenly we're at a high school.

O: Following a teenage boy who's gonna try to hawk his great-great-great-something-grandfather’s shit in the middle of class.

S: [sighs] Why is he hawking shit? Because he wants to seduce the hottie by getting a car, either that, or that is merely a side effect of getting a car that he hopes will happen.

O: Mikaela is way too good for him.

S: She is.

O: He blabs on about how his something-grandfather, Captain Archibald Witwicky was the first man to explore the Arctic.

S: Never mind that there were already people living there.

O: He was the first white idiot to make it up there and not die?

S: Possibly.

O: [laughs]

S: We're introduced to the glasses of plot here. They're not particularly relevant right now, but they will be later!

O: Notice those weird etchings on the lenses? That's- that's a thing!

S: Keep these in mind. Put a pin in it. But right now, Sam is talking about selling his stuff on eBay.

O: ~ Ladies~ he takes Paypal. [laughs]

S: The bell rings and the rest of the class leaves as Sam talks to his teacher. Proceeding to be a total freaking dumb ass by guilting his teacher into giving him a better grade than he deserved, because otherwise his dad won't help him buy a car.

O: And remember, this is supposed to be the character we’re identifying with. Thanks! I hate it.

S: [sighs] You know, and after meeting Sam's dad, his behavior makes a lot more sense. Clearly he gets dickish behavior from said dad.

O: His dad drives him through a Porsche dealer to make him think he's buying Sam a Porsche, which just kind of seems like a dick move. They proceed to show up at a used-car lot with, uh, Sam spying a mysterious Camaro, which is Bee in this.

S: Like, Bumblebee was actually following them into the car lot which is kind of funny-

O: Yeah, but- but they didn't really see him until he parked in the car lot.

S: Yeah, I guess uh, they had to make him cooler for the 2000’s.

O: You know, I always liked the little Volkswagon bugs when I was in high school around this timeframe. I still do, they're adorable!

S: They're cute. Unfortunately, they're not sexy enough for a teenage boy in the mid-2000s.

O: [sighs] No, but they were sexy enough for a teenage boy in the 80’s.

S: [laughs] Yes, but that was when he knew it was his- it was friend shaped.

O: [laughs] Oh-

S: Bumblebee is-

O: G1 Bumblebee is so friend shaped.

S: He is. He's friend shaped to everyone except Megatron, really. Well, all of the Decpti-

O: No, he’s friend shaped to Megatron in the comics too!

S: Oh god, well, are we talking IDW comic or the original?

O: I was talking about the- I was talking about the- the plot in IDW, yeah. [laughs] Mostly I just thought was funny because his design is very, very similar in that toG1-

S: Yeah-

O: And I was like, yeah that’s pretty funny though.

S: Yeah, you're right he was very friend shaped in that.

O: He is friend shaped to everybody.

S: But in the Marvel Comics he's not friend shaped to the Decepticons.

O: Oh no, nobody's friend shaped in the Marvel comic. [laughs] Are you kidding me?

S: Ah, ah, Bee’s been following this kid around for a while and the car salesman clearly has never seen this damn car in his life, but he's still gonna try and sell it.

O: I-I mean given that it is his car lot, I can’t- I’m not sure I can fault him on this decision really? [laughs]

S: Well, it’s not honest.

O: [laughs] No.

S: And he's like, “I'm honest- whatever.” I think he has, “honesty,” actually on a sign somewhere.

O: [continues to laugh]

S: I don't know, it's not- it doesn't really matter. And, um, there's also an ostrich here. Why is there an ostrich!?!

O: I think he has a petting zoo or something, I don’t know.

S: He is down to make that dough.

O: Very.

S: Bee also comes with racing stripes.

O: We all know that makes him go faster, Specs!

S: [snorts]

O: [laughs]

S: Amongst other things, Bee contains a bee air freshener, that says “BEE-OTCH,” a small disco ball, and a weird lion bobblehead, that I thought was a small taxidermied animal at first.

O: [laughs] And we didn’t even see it till our second walk- er, watch through either! Just to make this more ridiculous!

S: Yeah, it vanishes so I gather Spike didn’t- oh god, not Spike-

O: No, this isn’t Spike, it would probably be better if it was!

S: Yeah. Sam didn't think it was too hot either.

O: Yeah, but uh, this whole bit, just feels creepy. Sam's gonna buy Bumblebee, a living, thinking, being, whose intelligence definitely surpasses his own.

S: And let's compare this to Charlie from the Bumblebee movie, who's trying to rebuild a car by herself with no support from her family and then there's Sam. And I mean, okay, yeah, she does get Bumblebee, basically- basically in a transaction. She does kind of buy him, but when she realizes that he's a person, she treats him like a person.

O: Exactly, and Sam is just this entitled little rich kid living in a nice house and has everything handed to him in Southern California! I don't know what his parents do, but clearly they make good fucking money!

S: I don't know what they do.

O: Me either!

S: Bee is even parked next to a VW Bug, an old one. Which he will then proceed to wreck.

O: I feel like this is the start to Michael Bay being like why do you like, “Why do you like that nerdy shit? Come look at boobs, tits, and nice cars. These are the only things that are really important.” This will be the hill I die on.

S: [sighs] I don’t understand Michael Bay.

O: If you didn’t like this, why did you do it!?! I know the answer is money.

S: Money is-

O: But you can at least do it enjoyably!

S: Yeah, well, money is the root of a lot of... stuff. Speaking of, Bee is... very much a dick here. He destroys this guy's entire lot of cars, or at least all their windows. Because he emits a supersonic noise and you know, busts all the windows in an effort to get Sam to buy him or get the guy to sell him to Sam-

O: For a cheaper price, basically.

S: Yeah.

O: Cutting to the Pentagon, the Secretary of Defense is briefing a team of technicians who will be attempting to decode the Decepticon signal they got from Blackout earlier. (Kind of.)

S: One of them is a very intelligent young woman named Maggie.

O: Who will proceed to be shot like another piece of tits and ass, like all the pretty woman in this movie. Oh, and if you're not young and pretty in this movie series you're basically just a harpy.

S: [sighs] And after this movie we will never see her again. Which might imply that she has more longevity than Sam.

O: Smart girl. At Sam’s house, we’re introduced to his mom, his dog, and some casual sexism.

S: We're not allowed to put girl jewelry on a male dog in this house, are we?

O: Of course not! What would the men think? That jewelry is awesome and they're totally allowed to wear it. Yeah, actually let's do that- that sounds way better.

S: [sighs] But don't worry if you think Mojo [Sam’s dog] is emasculated or something. Later movies will have him humping absolutely everything.

O: Yeah, because that's what I want to watch in a movie about giant alien robots!

S: Admittedly, these movies aren't particularly about giant alien robots. They’re-

O: No, they're like- about Sam's love life and explosions [snickers].

S: Or whatever the human lead’s love life.

O: [quietly] True.

S: That's- that’s typically how it runs. [sighs] Back to the army guys again. They're still attempting to escape Scorponok. Except they don't know that Scorponok’s following them.

O: No, but they're like, trying to get away from the base.

S: They're trying to get somewhere where they can contact help, I think? So they're making their way through the desert, with this young kid that showed up at the very beginning of the movie and was like, “Hi! You're my friends, I'm bringing you something.” And he escaped with them.

O: Yup. They decide they need to get their intel back to Pentagon as soon as possible.

S: And in our other movie, Sam's friend is a moron, and Mikaela's boyfriend is a dick, just a beefier dick than Sam.

O: So infuriating, this should be relatable. I was the weirdo in high school! But no, I still just want to strangle Sam with my bare hands.

S: And- well, honestly, Miles (Sam's friend) isn't really a moron. He's just acting like an actual teenage boy.

O: [laughs]

S: [huffs] He's climbing trees and entering cars through the window and then in the next scene when we see that, the door is open? So he like, dived through the door?

O: Continuity. Continuity is not a thing, Specs.

B: [laugh]

S: [sighs] Sam proceeds to bait Mikaela's jock boyfriend to satisfy his own ego, but just barely manages to avoid a knuckle sandwich.

O: UNFORTUNATELY. Said boyfriend then proceeds to treat Mikaela like property.

S: He won't even let her ride in the front seat of his truck. She knows significantly more about trucks than you do, you asshole! She could probably-

O: Oh, she could run circles around this asshole.

S: Well no, I was thinking she could probably you know, set something up so that his truck killed him.

O: Ah-ha-ha, there we go! That's the movie- that's the movie Mikaela should have been in.

S: Well, I mean, Megan Fox- she is apparently good in Jennifer's Body. Sam boots his friend out of Bumblebee so that he can offer... Mikaela a ride home.

O: It’s shitty to strand your friend like this, dude.

S: It's especially shitty, because the car has backseat.

O: And he couldn't shove his friend back there.

S: [quietly] Yeah.

O: Mikaela reluctantly accepts and Bee has decided to become Sam's wingman, apparently.

S: I'm assuming he knows what teenagers do in cars, but really, does he actually understand what teenagers do in cars!?!

O: [while laughing] Um, I'm-I’m not sure to be honest.

S: Well, considering they apparently learned English from the internet.

O: Yeah, you’d think there’d be some porn thrown in there.

S: I’d assume so. Um, he breaks down causing Mikaela to open his hood and check the engine.

O: And what kills me, is that she's saying relevant things throughout the scene but the way she's shot, she's not treated like a person, she's treated like a-a-an object to be viewed essentially, and it is very frustrating. I know we could assume that it's from Sam's perspective, but boy does this get old.

S: It gets really old. Sam asks her about why she hangs out with her boyfriend. Of course, he phrases it like, strongly hinting that she should hang out with him instead. And Mikaela can totally tell that he's doing that so she's like, “I'm out,” and starts walking off.

O: But Bee suddenly starts working again so Sam's able to convince her to at least let him finish driving her home.

S: She'd have probably had a better time walking home, let's be real.

O: Probably.

S: Except she might have had really uncomfy shoes...

O: Eh, except like, it was sunset, and it was night by the time they got home. So I have to ask, how far out of town were they?

S: That's a good point. Um, and then we get Sam saying uh, [sighs] that, “There's more than meets the eye,” about the Mikaela.

O: Why does this just feel like another slap in the face of the original series?

S: Probably because it is, and on to Air Force One. Frenzy, who's apparently someone's carry on here, because he's a boombox in this and was actually under someone's seat.

O: Or! You could choose to imagine him walking onto the onto the plane himself. Just thing about this little radio, who’s got teeny tiny little legs, and walks on the plane. It's way funnier! Also, did he steal Soundwave’s alt!?!

S: That is a fun thing, but yeah. Hello president who is obviously Bush! Whose face we don't see, but unfortunately we get to see his besoc- besocked feet.

O: He wants a ding dong.

S: [sighs]

O: Betcha do! Uh, Frenzy attempts to get data from the military database by way of Air Force One, but he’s caught while doing this, and so the Secret Service shoots at him.

S: The Secret Service apparently didn't get the 4-1-1 on what you don't do on a plane. You don't shoot shit on a plane. You really don't wanna do that. It just leads for a bad time, for everyone, very briefly.

O: [laughing] Yup! Very short lives!

S: Either that, or they're lucky and they manage to make a safe landing but... you don't want-

O: Do you really- do you really want to risk that? No.

S: No, you don't want catastrophic decompression on a plane.

O: No you don’t.

S: I mean, who knows, maybe Air Force One is better... built? Once they uh, basically, they end up taking the plane down, uh, in an emergency landing, because shots fired or whatever. Then once they bring the plane down, Frenzy is able to sneak off the plane through the a- he goes down like, the doors that the wheels go out and then it's just funny.

O: It is.

S: Yeah, he goes over to Barricade after that.

O: Barricade’s a police car. He will be more relevant later, but uh- you have any doubts that this little thing was Frenzy, you just need to see that little walk off the plane and you will know.

S: Cuz he- he's got like, his hand up to hide his face.

O: Yeah, like he’s- he’s like, trying to be nonchalant. Like, after they thought he was trying to kill the president it is delightful.

S: Mm-hmm and Frenzy is smarter than the- the Secret Service on this plane because he had like, shurikens.

O: Yeah! Once he's in Barricade he pulls up the eBay listings for Sam's Grandpa's glasses and says, “We must find LadiesMan217!”

S: Why did he pick that username?

O: I don't know, but I legitimately find it hilarious every time a Cybertronian has to shout it in this movie. I know he said it in like, Cybertronian there, it is still great.

S: Oh Sam’s ego, but yeah, it is really funny anytime a robot shouts that. At Sam's house, Bee apparently has got places to be. So he just, you know, turns on his own ignition and then drives off by himself.

O: This awakens Sam, who then goes chasing after his own car on his bike.

S: And call- he calls the police. Sam calls the police to report that his car is being stolen. Going so far as to remind them that his dad is the head of the neighborhood watch.

O: Well, if you needed a another reminder that Sam is a rich white boy, there you go.

S: [sighs] Yeah…

O: Sam finally catches up with Bee, who's standing some distance away beaming the bat signal- I mean the Autobot signal some kind of signal-er, some kind of signal into space.

S: Sam starts recording all of this on his shitty flip phone, and thinking that he's going to die the first words out of his mouth are, “Porn’s not mine, it's Miles’!”

O: Oh yes, that's the last image I'd want to leave my own mother with. Talking about your erections, lovely.

S: Considering one of the conversations that happens later…

O: It may be were relevant than I want to imagine, yeah. Mm-hmm. Moving on!

S: Yeah. Sam is then chased by some good doggos, who managed to get free of their uh, basically they weren’t very well contained.

O: Yep.

S: But the poor puppies are denied their midnight snack as Bumblebee bursts in and save[s] him and you don't really see the dogs go away. They just start aren’t there anymore.

O: [laughs] And despite thinking his car’s alive, he shouts something that they, “Can keep the car!” and chunks his keys at Bee.

S: I don't even know what the building they're in even is, cuz he goes into a building and then suddenly it seems like they're not in a building anymore and it's... what's going on?

O: Yeah… Um, Sam's arrested when the cops show up for making a false 9-1-1 call because his car is obviously right there.

S: Yep, and it's not like there was any evidence of other people around.

O: There weren’t.

S: At the Pentagon with some assholes, including the Secretary of Defense and our- Maggie, our pretty lady analyst. Maggie proceeds to sneak into a very high up meeting basically to say, “The system is alive!”

O: Which is completely insane in any other context, except this movie, where she is technically right, but it still sounds like a pretty insane context-

S: Yeah.

O: Er, sane- sounds like pretty insane an idea.

S: She kind of gets kicked out... of the meeting.

O: Yeah.

S: But she's right, and she will be vindicated later. And, um, I hate the color balancing in this movie everything is so orange and blue. It looks like everyone's skin tone is basically, you know, orange and like, they all have really bad spray tans? Or at least all the white people do. None of the black people in this movie really have to deal with looking like an orange.

O: They may still have orange light on them, but it's not quite the same way.

S: Yeah, and now it's police time.

O: Where we've made Sam do a pee test, and then they hold up a bottle that says, “Mojo,” on it and they're interrogating him about it. Mojo, as previously stated... is his dog and it is very likely that the bottle would say, “canine,” on it because that's how it worked when I had to pick up medication for my cat from the pharmacy. [Well, the cat’s was labelled ‘feline,’ but you know what we mean.] So they're just being assholes.

S: And I mean, that looks like a legit prescription bottle.

O: Yeah.

S: So, I don't think most people keep their illegal drugs in legit prescription bottles.

O: [laughs] Fair, fair.

S: I mean, I have no personal experience but… [sighs] And back to the Middle East with the soldier boys.

O: Scorponok attempts subtlety, only narrowly missing killing Lennox.

S: He does however succeed in killing the oblivious glasses guy, or maybe he doesn't kill him, maybe just badly injures him? I don’t know.

O: I’m pretty sure he's dead because we don't see him for the rest of the movie. If I'm wrong I apologize.

S: Okay, that's a good point. The soldiers all book it and take shelter in and around these bombed out buildings. Which is apparently the young boy's village. [sighs] They have brought hell down upon this small village and this will never be addressed.

O: The dad of the kid that's been helping them seems awfully nice, considering they have brought a giant mechanical scorpion to the front door.

S: Yup, that poor man does not deserve any of this shit.

O: Nope!

S: And here's one of the few legitimately funny scenes in this movie.

O: Lennox, has to call the Pentagon. Which involves Lennox having to go back and forth with the most bored guy in a call center ever, but he also needs a credit card because it's a long-distance call. A really long distance call.

S: He's able to get that credit card from Epps, one of the soldiers in his squad.

O: And this is all happening, while they're in the middle of a firefight. So they're having to yell to be heard and stuff. Epps is also shooting at Scorponok, so Lennox has to grab the wallet off of Epps.

S: And so their conversation on how to navigate this is effectively a something like. “It's in my back pocket!” “Which one!?!” “Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!” All while firing at Scorponok. And apparently he's like- eh, Lennox is like, “You have like fifteen pockets!”

O: [laughs] Which I feel like is legitimately funny! And I just kind of wish I just didn’t have to like, be concerned, is this racism- with the call center guy looking and sounding Indian and I don't know, because that seems like something Michael Bay would do.

S: Yeah… yeah. Jets and other military things have apparently been quickly scrambled and show up.

O: Including a military drone, just like what Soundwave turns into in Prime, so I was chuckling.

S: Explosions happen, and miraculously they don't appear to hit any civilians, somehow. And then there's more shooting and more explosions-

O: And I get very bored.

S: And they're able to shoot off a part of Scorponok's tail, while the rest of Scorponok conveniently gets away.

O: They definitely thought this is important. The music swells, things are happening in slow motion… you should be paying attention to this.

S: Basically, uh, the military guys get rescued and presumably no one does anything to help repair the damage that…

O: They've done to this village.

S: Yeah, we never hear about the young child again.

O: Nope!

S: [sighs] And back in America, Maggie has stolen intel from the Pentagon and uh, shows up on her friend Glen's doorstep. And she- she hides it in her makeup case.

O: Which is pretty clever. Also, he's apparently a master hacker!

S: Yup. He pulls out some bullshit program that basically auh, you know, pulls, “It's alive!” from the Decepticon audio data Maggie brought over.

O: Which is about the point the feds show up with the SWAT team and arrest them both.

S: Yeah. Bee shows a back up at Sam's house presumably just to fuck with Sam which at this point really does seem like a Bee thing to do in this movie.

O: Yeah… Bee’s kind of a dick.

S: Sam escapes on his mom’s bike.

O: Why does his mom have a bike that looks like it belongs to a five-year-old!?! I mean, like- look, I'm not saying don't do you, cuz do you, but- but- but… his mom confuses me.

S: Apparently, she's just a very girly girl who... has a basket that needs to have a pillow in it. Maybe she takes Mojo for bike rides?

O: I would believe that.

S: I could see her doing that considering that she does put jewelry on him. She makes him a handsome boy.

O: She does.

S: [sighs] Oh god, so now Sam is running away from his own car, like a crazy person and then uh, runs into Mikaela who's out apparently having lunch.

O: A day, yeah.

S: Well, lunch with her friends.

O: Yeah!

S: She has normal friends, and Sam proceeds to look like a crazy person.

O: He thinks his car is chasing him. The fact that he's right doesn't really play into how this looks right now.

S: Cuz yeah, he's- he's riding a very pink bike that--

O: Saying his car is chasing him.

S: Yeah. Bee was definitely driving on the sidewalk, and probably on people's lawns for parts of this.

O: It was funny Mikaela hops on her scooter because clearly she's like, “I guess I go- I guess I better go help this dumbass.”

S: Mikaela was just a very nice, responsible person. She's- she's kind.

O: Yeah, she’s not the- like yeah, you don't really see her being mean.

S: She-

O: Even to Sam, even when Sam is being kind of a jerk earlier she's never outright mean to him. She's done, very done, but you never really see her being mean to him with- unless he kind of deserved it like later.

S: Mikaela is a very kind person and unfortunately she doesn't- her character just doesn't get the recognition that she deserves.

O: No, she doesn’t.

S: [sighs]

O: Barricade catches up with Sam.

S: The police slogan on the side of his police car says- or his police car alt mode says. “To punish and enslave”.

O; What about being undercover, dude?

S: Well, be honest most people don't really pay much attention.

O: [quietly] True.

S: He dicks with Sam for a bit before transforming into robot mode and yelling, “Are you LadiesMan217!?!”

O: Really quickly, and it's amazing. Sam runs away and knocks Mikaela off her scooter.

S: Sam, you dumbass, you could have really fucking hurt her, you jack ass.

O: Pretty much. [singing] ~Here Bee comes to save the dayyyyyy!~

S: Sam proceeds to pull a, “Come with me if you want to live,” to Mikaela, which... At this point, considering that he has now uh, conflated her with himself to the Decepticons probably- is probably true, yeah.

O: Fair. They have a high-speed chase, somewhere in Southern California.

S: Bee gets them somewhere relatively isolated before dumping the two of them out and transforming to fight with Barricade and... is this still the middle of the day? I- no this is at night, it’s night now.

O: It keeps kind of swapping, it's weird. And then Frenzy hop-

S: How long where they… ?

O: I don't know how long this was going on, because it was like- it looked like it was mid-afternoon and they don't get dumped out till night, like the sun has set, night.

S: Like, jeez.

O: I don't know, heh, but Frenzy hops out of Barricade and attacks Sam and Mikaela.

S: [sighs] Sam manages to lose his goddamn pants in this altercation.

O: Of course he does. Mikaela, being the badass that she is, grabs a fucking power tool and attacks Frenzy with it. Cutting him into pieces!

S: Mikaela kicks ass, and she would have been a far better protagonist. My heart weeps that this wasn't actually the reality.

O: Eh, that's okay they kind of did it in the Bumblebee movie.

S: Yeah. Sam shows his bravery by... bravely kicking Frenzy’s head away.

O: Frenzy, using a second set of legs coming from his head... walks over to Mikaela’s purse, because she dropped it earlier, and then disguises himself as her cellphone.

S: After stabbing her, you know, her real cellphone. Presumably to get data from it or something?

O: I would assume? Yeah.

S: Otherwise it's gonna be a very bad disguise. She opens it and is like, “Where are all my god damn contacts?”

B: [laugh]

O: Yeah, fair.

S: And then there's some crack about Bee being Japanese, once Sam finally gets his actual introduction to his, you know, ‘not a car’.

O: This should be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the original toys being created by the Japanese company Takara, but given Bay’s track record, I really have to wonder. I know I keep bringing that up, but like, parts of this movie feel very uncomfortable to watch-

S: [quietly] Yeah.

O: -and certain racial stereotyping that he does not only in this movie, but even worse, honestly, in the sequels... just makes me feel really uncomfortable.

S: [quietly] Yeah. [normal volume] They ride off in Bee, both Sam and Mikaela and not wanting to sit in the driver's seat because Bee is driving and... that wouldn't be polite somehow.

O: I'm not even going to comment on what I'm actually thinking. Sam tries to pull off a slick move, telling Mikaela she should sit in his lap because there's only one other seat belt.

S: That's bad, if you're in an accident you're both gonna die. Though, I mean, considering they’re both in a giant alien robot…

O: I mean their driver is a sentient alien robot, who's used to being a car, so hopefully that doesn't happen, right?

S: Mostly I'm just imagining that a giant alien robot car isn't going to have the same sort of, you know, safety tests-

O: Oh, safety precautions!?! Ha! [laughs]

S: [trying not to laugh] Safety test results that an actual car-

O: [continues laughing] That’s fair!

S: So who the hell knows how this would work! Bee takes offense at being called a ‘piece-of-shit Camaro’.

O: Leading to him dumping them out, driving off without a driver, and then driving past a very conveniently placed newer yellow and black Camaro with the exact paint job he wants. Because Michael Bay cares about very few things in this movie. Tits! And you, yes you! Driving a nice shiny car, because you are a man. A virale, sex having man!

B: [laugh]

O: Or at least that's what he's assuming!

S: Oh, and the way Bumblebee scans this car is kind of ridiculous cuz he’s- he’s up on two wheels driving like half on his side so he’s-

O: Yeah, like on his side! So he’s got to scan it with something like, on the bottom of his car mode???

S: Yeah, on his undercarriage and it's weird and silly.

O: And it’s just like, yeah, nobody saw this. Sure!

S: Like, they're driving in a tunnel, there were definitely other people around, cuz people-

O: There definitely were!

S: Cuz people honked at them, people honked at them when Bumblebee dropped them off. But yeah, let's go. Bee picks them up and they're like, “Oh wow, you could have done this anytime?” and then Bee precedes to take them trespassing so they can meet new people.

O: Where even are they?

S: I don’t know! I don't think anyone knows.

O; Valid point.

S: Who knows, maybe they're in Oregon now.

O: [laughs] Yes! They drove north. Very far north!

S: They could have if they were driving all day, I don’t know! Either that or they were going around goddamn circles.

O: I'm willing to bet that actually.

S: And finally we're going to get more robots as um, meteorites rain down. These robots being our Autobots.

O: Who will still not improve this movie enough to matter.

S: Which is so depressing.

O: It really is!

S: Mikaela and Sam hold hands because as uh, movie logic dictates- if you have a man and a woman who spend more than a few minutes uh, with one another they will be in love by the end of it.

O: Who cares! The Autobots seriously fuck some shit up when they land on Earth!

S: Oh they do. And not a single fuck was given, because they seriously have no idea what the fuck's going on.

O: A bunch of people are running around at several of the crash si- sites recording things too.

S: Um-hmm. Recording stuff, and probably putting it on YouTube-

O: I would assume.

S: -or whatever in-universe equivalent of YouTube.

O: I think it's just YouTube, based on a sequel, but don't quote me on that.

S: Who knows, we even see Ratchet’s weird ambulance mode in the background of some of these shots. So we can see where and when he scanned it.

O: Apparently, according to the TF Wiki, this is supposed to be a Hummer H2 rescue vehicle. So not even technically an ambulance.

S: And then we see Jazz at a Cadillac dealership.

O: Isn’t he supposed to be a Porsche?

S: Yep.

O: I mean, [sighs] why start being accurate with alts now, right?

S: Well, I'm going to assume that Cadillac paid for this product placement.

O: [laughs] Yeah…

S: Whereas, Porsche probably didn't give a shit.

O: And Porsche was already in there so they did pay money, but the Cadillacs probably paid more.

S: Probably, I don’t know. He's- yeah, he's not even a Cadillac. Jazz is a Pontiac Solstice, so why are we even had a Cadillac dealership?

O: Money. Ironhide however, is a huge fucking truck now.

S: A GMC Topkick. He also apparently, uh- a little girl mistakes him for the tooth fairy.

O: It’s pretty cute actually. I gotta give them that.

S: Yep. Optimus lands on scams a conveniently placed semi.

O: [It] kills me that they copy the paint jobs. I think I’d prefer if the paint jobs were something that were like, inherent to them, to their biology. But no! There's another truck out there with blue paint and orange and red flames on the side, are you shitting me?

S: I mean…

O: Or on the front.

S: [snickers] It's likelier than you think. Does this mean that there is another cop car out there with, “Punish and enslave,” on the side, or it- was this some civilian’s idea of a cop cosplay?

O: [sighs] Well, we do see little details change like the Autobot signals [symbols] on Ratchet’s paint job. So maybe that was a small enough detail to be changed. The only reason we even know the semi-truck’s paint job is because we saw a drive by.

S: Yeah. Uh, the Autobots show up in an alley where they meet up with uh, Bee, Sam, and Mikaela.

O: Optimus transforms, he's a Kenworth W900 truck in the live-action series. Which looks somewhat different from his design from the cartoon which was based on a Freightliner WFT-8664T.

S: To make this more confusing they used an entirely different [truck] model while filming, but we're going with uh, Hasbro’s official answer here.

O: Namely, the Freightliner was a cab over truck and the Kenworth isn't. It's a more traditional semi that you see stateside anyway.

S: He introduces the rest of the bots and their robot modes are also terrible.

O: Jazz apparently learned to speak from the Internets and knows the lingo.

S: Well, presumably they all did. I think Jazz is the one who actually paid attention.

O: Yeah.

S: Ironhide, our weapons expert.

O: “I blow shit up!”

S: And [uneasy laugh] welcome to one of our least favorite lines ever and it's Ratchet’s introduction no less.

O: And I quote, “The boy’s pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.”

S: [quietly] Oh god. Ugh...

O: I'd like to remind you all that Ratchet is uh, Specs’ favorite G1 character. So this is particularly ughhh. [laughs] I’m so sorry. Not like my faves really go- are handled any better to be fair, except maybe Soundwave.

S: We've also got to make it clear that he can't fix Bee. So Ratchet zaps him with something or whatever.

O: They just need Powerglide to fix him, obviously! With his magical ray of healing.

S: Yeah that'd probably do the trick. Optimus puts on a laser light show to explain the plot to Sam. And I mean, the laser light show was cool but... this seems like a really weird-

O: Weird place to do it? But uh, he's Optimus Fucking Prime, he does what he wants.

S: This is all funnier to listen to once you realize just how young the Bayverse versions of Transformers are compared to their counterparts in any other continuity. Optimus is like 10,000 years old, tops? Compared to the G1 versions, where everyone's like, millions of years old.

O: I would love to see G1 Megs’ reaction to us. “You're how old!?! Sparklings! Why are sparklings in charge!?!”

S: Why are babies fighting? Oh my god it's the baby war.

O: [singing to the tune of Muppet Babies] ~Robot babies!~ [laughs]

S: Oh god, the fact that there are actually, at least, a few crossovers that's basically Transformers babies. Where they basically took a concept of Muppet Babies and did it with Transformers.

O: Oh lord, oh lord. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

S: Cause it’s- yeah, Megatron is Meggy.

O: [sighs]

S: I read those-

O: No.

S: -way back-

O: No. I refuse to believe those exists.

S: [starts laughing]

O: I live in a world where those don’t exist because I haven’t seen them yet, and I don’t have object permanence!

B: [laugh]

S: Unfortunately, I can introduce you to things that will make you regret this fandom.

O: You would! YOU WOULD! [laughs]

S: I’ve in this fandom since like, 2002!

O: You’re like, “Bitch, I been in this fandom for decades!”

S: Well, definitely more than decade at this point. It will be two decades of-um, in like three years.

O: [laughs]

S: Optimus continues to explain that Megatron basically destroyed Cybertron.

O: Oh sure, blame Megatron for this. Nevermind what we learn about Sentinel Prime later.

S: And in any case it takes two to tango, so…

O: Uh-huh.

S: It may not have been good if they've just rolled over and let Megatron do whatever the hell he wanted but…

O I don't really trust this Optimus either, soooo, you know.

S: Yeah. It’s a war, both sides are going to do... a lot of shit.

O: Yup.

S: We get a bit better look at Megatron's design in the flashback, as Optimus continues to explain.

O: Thanks! I hate it.

S: Megatron here just looks like a bipedal bag of knives.

O: And that sounds like the world's worst cryptid!

S: Optimus tell Sam um, that he may be Earth's only hope.

O: Help me Whitwicky, you're my only hope!

S: What a depressing hope.

O: Definitely! So now it's time for the plot glasses, which apparently were imprinted with the coordinates for the AllSpark when Sam's great granddad whatever found Megatron.

S: I don't understand the mechanism that did this.

O: I don't either, just roll with it.

S: [sighs]

O: The movie is.

S: [groans] You know, the Decepticons could have literally just bid on the fucking auction for the glasses.

O: And I refuse to believe that, that is not exactly what Soundwave would have done if he was here, because that is the perfectly reasonable plan.

S: Or you know, literally just sending Frenzy to infiltrate his house. Anything would have been better than what actually happened.

O: Pretty much. But eBay!

S: That would have- it would have been way funnier if Soundwave had done the, you know, bidding on eBay robot- the robot war is literally a bidding war.

O: Yeah, and less things would have blown up. Michael Bay would have died from lack of explosions, but I- I think that's the price I'm willing to pay.

S: [sighs] Maggie and Glen get brought to the uh, Pentagon... maybe? They're in some sort of holding cell waiting for interrogation.

O: Yeah... I get- I- I think it's the Pentagon, I'm not actually sure.

S: And then Glen proceeds to eat all the doughnuts that were left in um, left there. And they're delicious, delicious looking doughnuts.

O: [Homer Simpson intonenation] Emmm, doughnut. And now driving through a quiet suburban neighborhood, late at night- all of the Autobots!

S: [sighs] Sam tries to convince the Autobots to stay outside and stay quiet, while he goes inside and tries to find the glasses. And he's actually um, reasonably polite and respectful about this, considering the situation.

O: Eh... but the Autobots are super impatient.

S: [sighs] And Sam’s dad continues to be an asshole. Basically moaning about how he spent all his money on a car for Sam, and now Sam gets home late and he had to do all of Sam's chores. Like the KIND person that he is.

O: So instead of you know, just doing something nice for your kid you're going to just- stand out here, at the screen door, having a dick-measuring contest with your teenage fucking son. Granted it is pretty fucking hysterical that Optimus and the rest are sneaking around the yard while Sam is desperately trying to be like, “No dad, I got this, you don't need to come out here, it’s fine!”

S: [sharp intake of breath] God, if Sam's dad had actually gone outside.

O: [laughs]

S: How the hell would that have worked? I mean if he'd had booze or something or he had- he has like-

O: He just looks at the wine glass and walks back inside.

S: [sharp intake of breath] “I've had too much to drink, I'm going to bed.”

O: [laughs]

S: Cuz all of the Autobot stuff is in the background.

O: Of course, they're stepping on things, knocking things over, the whole works.

S: Why didn't they just stay in car mode?

O: It’s a valid question. I really don't think Optimus would be this much of an idiot and it makes the Autobots all look like assholes who aren't listening to the person who's trying to help them, and what he's asking them to do.

S: And then to make it worse, Ironhide pulls out his gun and aims it at Sam's dog.

O: Which is what, the equivalent are pulling at a freaking pistol cuz a bug landed on you? What the hell, man!?!

S: Though Ironhide saying, “Bad mojo!” after Sam prompts him is pretty funny. And the reason why he pulls out the uh, the big guns is because Sam's dog... pees on him.

O: Yep! But seriously, this is the dumbest plan guys.

S: Yeah, the Autobots have been waiting all this time and apparently they can't sit still for five minutes, because they're all like, giant toddlers.

O: [singing to the tune of Muppet Babies] ~Robot babies!~ [laughs]

S: [sighs] Transformers babies. I- I am seriously debating finding that and throwing it at you.

O: You're just- you just want to hurt me.

S: I showed you good stuff!

O: Anyway, Optimus lifts Mikaela up into Sam's room and they both began rummaging around his room to find the glasses.

S: Sam shoos Mikaela away from a certain area in his room and um-

O: That's his porn, that's his porn stash.

S: [sighs] So I guess that's what he was referring to earlier.

O: Probably.

S: And now all of the Autobots are in car mode, in the backyard. Except they've already done a shitload of damage.

O: Um-hm.

S: Except apparently Ratchet... isn't in car mode. Cuz he uh-

O: Or he transforms from car mode?

S: Yeah cuz he, uh... he walks into a transformer, a power transformer.

O: Ugh, I'm just not fond of the VA they picked for him here. I know Prime wasn't out yet, but that guy, we need that guy [Jeffrey Combs] here. I love [that] Ratchet’s voice.

S: So when Ratchet walked into the power transformer, he knocked out the power. He fell down I was like, “Oh! That was a kick, that was fun.”

O: [laughs]

Because apparently getting shocked for Transformers feels all tingly and fun.

O: [laughs] I mean…

S: Uh, and so- so at this point, the power is out, Sam's parents think that there's an earthquake cuz Ratchet fell down and made you know, shit happen and then they duck under- well, Sam's dad ducks under a table. His mom is just like, “How did you get over there so fast?”

O: [laughs] I do enjoy that they're like, “Bring the wine!” Cuz if they're gonna die, they're gonna die happy.

S: They’re all a little slooshed up at this point.

O: They- they are. [laughs]

S: And then Sam's parents uh, head upstairs to check on Sam and bang on his door.

O: And we present to you, the most awkward conversation ever captured in cinema!

S: Sam's parents are like, “Hey, uh, why was your door locked? There aren’t- no doors are locked in this house,” and uh, decide to assume uh, masturbation was what was going on.

O: I did not need. [Clears throat] I did not need, or want to hear his mom call it, ”Sam’s special alone time”! Just no. All the no. NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!

S: Ironhide asks Optimus if you can shoot them.

O: PLEASE!!! [dissolves into laughter] Optimus is like, “No, what's wrong with you!?!”

S: Yeah, and then all of the Autobots are trying to avoid being seen. So, it's like they're attempting to do a Jenga with the house and they're all scrunched up- around and under Sam's window listening in and it's actually a pretty neat shot.

O: It's pretty funny. Mercifully, Mikaela saves us from this insanity by stepping out and introducing herself. So yeah, I think they're just gonna assume they were doing the horizontal mambo, if you know what I mean!

S: His parents apologize that she may have heard their ‘family discussion’.

O: Oh, is that what you're calling talking about your son’s WANKING OFF HABITS!?!

S: [sighs] Your son’s sex life, or lack thereof.

O: Why did you do this to me movie!?!

S: And this is where the federal agents come in.

O: OH THANK GOD! And we have our main asshole FBI guy- oh sorry, I mean Sector Seven guy, Agent Simmons, JOY.

S: Sam's parents take issue with all of this. Particularly his mom, who's mad that they're messing up their plants. Oh, and at some point, the father looked outside and was like, “Ah! The earthquake destroyed all my shit!”

O: [laughs] Cuz he thinks the earthquake did it.

S: And at this point I think Sam's mom's gonna be really unhappy when she realizes just how much damage the Autobots did…

O: Yeah, Optimus stepped on her flowerbed.

S: Yeah. And then the Sector Seven people want to take Sam away.

O: Personally, I think they can just, you know, have him! Can we follow Mikaela for the rest of the movie instead, please?

S: Unfortunately, Mikaela gets brought along too.

O: Sam, his parents, and Mikaela are shoved into some cars by the Sector Seven guys.

S: Oh, and the reason that the uh, the Sector Seven people know to take Sam is that they have some sort of uh, thing that reads radiation and Simmons-

O: And he dropped his cell phone, or the cops still had it, so they [Sector Seven] now have his cell phone.

S: That's true.

O: And his recording of Bee, and him talking.

S: Yeah.

O: And him saying his car is alive.

S: Yeah, but they also have a thing that like, reads the radiation. So Sam and Mikaela unfortunately, are now probably irradiated... somehow. Which may or may not give them a very good life expectancy. And oh, Sam's terrible eBay user name gets mentioned again.

O: And you totally see Mikaela roll her eyes at it too.

S: Oh yeah, and they apparently have Sam's phone as you mentioned. Which is how they tracked him down, and when asked about his ‘stolen’ car Sam says, “It came back.”

O: Right! Doesn’t your car come back when it's stolen, Specs?

S: No, it's not a boomerang. Though I suppose if a thief stole it [and] they decided it was super shitty they’d return it because-

O: I feel like they wouldn't even return it.

S: Or it just turns up again, like a block away.

O: I would be more willing to believe that.

S: I think I've seen stuff about that happening, but I don’t know. Agent Simmons decides to lord his authority over them by uh, showing his badge and declaring it a, “I can do whatever I want and get away with it,” badge.

O: More like an asshole badge!

S: He also starts uh, to threaten Mikaela's dad.

O: Because as previously stated, he is a fucking asshole. It's not even like Mikaela's got much to do with any of this to begin with.

S: People with power are just assholes-

O: Pretty much.

S: -a lot of the time. And of course, it's um, prime time to bring up Mikaela's criminal record, because fuck you Simmons.

O: And Sam has the nerve to be horrified when finding out about this.

S: Sam you jackass. You privileged, rich, white boy.

O: Yup.

S: And then the car is picked up and the- the uh, roof is ripped off by Optimus, once they’re in a suitably isolated area.

O: Optimus then kneels down, has an entire conversation with agent Simmons and Co.

S: He gets mad and tells them to get out of the car.

O: What’s left of it you mean?

S: I mean, it probably runs, maybe?

O: [laughs] He took off- like, the entire top half of it off!

S: Yes, but that- that's a not the part that keeps it from running.

O: And dropped it quite a ways.

S: Yeah... that's true, I don't know. Mikaela finally tells Sam off for shitty comments about her criminal record earlier by asking him, “When have you ever had to give up anything in your perfect little life?” Mikaela has a criminal record because she wouldn't rat out her dad.

O: Yeah, which- and depending on how old she is this should not have really even been legal to begin with.

S: Yeah.

O: Like, this like, I’m- I'm assuming this happened sometime between when she was 8 and 12 and it means that somebody chose to basically to prosecute her at a higher age bracket. [My logic for this is that there’s a comment about him not always having been able to afford a babysitter for her so I assume she wouldn’t have been old enough to stay home by herself, but take that with a grain of salt. ~O]

S: Yeah.

O: Which is shitty. But, that statement, that line, is the most accurate description of Sam. Here is a person who comes from privilege, he stumbles upon events that bestow him even more privilege and he acts entitled- so, so very entitled, during it all.

S: Yup, and then we get the part where Bumblebee pees on Agent Simmons.

O: [sighs]

S: [sighs] It’s just like, whyyyyy?

O: Does this mean he's low on those fluids now? Is Ratchet gonna have to top him off later? And why is that there? I mean why does it exist at all sure, but specifically, why is it where a dick would be on a person!?!

S: Yeah, why is it framed like that? From the perspective of the person being peed on?

O: [sighs] I don't know, but now that his friends are here Sam is going to be as douchey as possible because he orders Simmons to remove his pants.

S: And according to his under clothes or at least his undershirt, Sector Seven sells or has branded clothing items available for their agents.

O: The Autobots leave but, oh no! They [the agents] were on the phone the whole time.

S: [sighs] Meaning, backup arrives shortly thereafter and the Autobots proceed to hide under a bridge. Optimus carrying Mikaela and Sam in his arms.

O: Just putting this out there, but I too would like to be carried in Optimus’ big, strong arms.

S: Carried in his gentle, strong hands. Though I mean, preferably G1 Optimus, or one of the other Optimuses.

O: Yeah, yeah, just not this Optimus. I want the Optimus from Prime, he seems like a very calm, kind guy to give me a ride on her shoulders, that sounds nice.

S: I'll take G1 Optimus, he's a- he's very dad shaped.

O: He is the most dad shaped.

S: I'd also accept Animated Optimus.

O: Yeah... yeah, he seems nice.

S: Maybe Cyberverse, well I don't know.

O: He seems like, unsure dad shaped, and I can deal with that.

S: Yeah, and I'll leave out all the other Optimi. Though maybe Optimus Primal might be good for a hug.

O: He would be great for a hug. Unfortunately, they're not that much bigger than people so it would not be the same kind of ride in his big, strong arms.

S: [laughs] He’s more-

O: It still sounds nice but-

S: -more of a piggyback ride.

O: Yeah.

S: And to get away from our uh, hugging and carrying uh, discourse- there's just so many explosions happening right now.

O: Sure, don't worry about those roads or infrastructure, this is fine.

S: Oh no, Sam and Mikaela almost fell, but don't worry Optimus has slowed their descent with [laughs] his nice soft foot.

O: I guess that this is the one thing they kept from G1, huh?

S: Yeah.

O: [laugh]

S: And apparently Cybertronians are weak to ice and electricity now. Except... didn't Ratchet think that the power-

O: Think that the electricity was nice? I don't know, but Bumblebee gets the crap beaten out of him by the Sector Seven guys.

S: Oh my god, maybe Ratchet’s… [starts laughing]

O: Nope, nope, I think I know what went through your head and we’re not going there. It was disturbing when Bee got hurt, okay!?!

S: [continued laughter with increasing volume]

O: [laughs] I mean I’m sure Drift would be into it, but that’s not the point!

S: [sustained laughter continues]

[The laughter is abruptly cut off as the screen cuts to a purple image with Starscream and Megatron getting caught up in an explosion, overlaid with the Decepticon logo variation used by Afterspark Podcast, with text reading, “WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.” Elevator music plays in the background.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: [high pitched laughter continues]

[The laughter is cut off, and the same technical difficulties message and elevator music from before returns.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: I am under control again. [laughs]

O: ANYWAY, Bumblebee gets the crap beat out of him by the Sector Seven guys, it's more than a little disturbing.

S: Keep in mind that before this we really only had uh, G1 and Beast Wars as like, the main well-known Transformers things. I mean maybe Beast Machines?

O: Eh, Beast Wars, Beast Machines, I end to count them together, since they're in the same continuity even though they're different series, but- but I know what you mean, sorry.

S: Yeah, it's just those ones would have been the ones that most people- that would have stuck out in like, the main- I don’t know, cultural hive mind, probably. Cuz I don't think like, any of the animes would have made that much of a dent.

O: Yeah.

S: So uh, hopefully you enjoy watching your fav get tortured by the US government.

O: And the way this is framed, because Bee doesn't have a working voice box, really comes across that they're like, taking something from Sam. Not that Sam is worried about his friend! Bee is just treated like property, by both the plot and the framing. And this is in such a stark contrast to the Bumblebee movie. Where even though he couldn't talk, even though he was a CG character, he still felt like an actual character.

S: Yeah, in the Bumblebee movie, Bumblebee actually had an emotional arc. When Charlie first sees him, she treats him like a person that needs care and kindness. He- he still couldn't talk- like, he was immediately showing recognizable and understandable emotions.

O: And body language.

S: Mm-hmm, and then there's Bumblebee in this one where he can't talk, but he's just an asshole and he's gonna pee on things.

O: And you're my new best friend, and I'm gonna keep you safe, you know- just like a fucking guard dog.

S: [sighs]

O: Bee, story wise in relation to Sam, is treated more like a pet, and it is weird.

S: Yeah. Simmons catches up with the two of them and Bee, continuing to be an asshole and taking another pot shot at Mikaela as they're being taken away.

O: And they're just going to ignore the other Autobots in the distance apparently.

S: Yep, they're still hiding under the bridge. They're all tucked away under that bridge, which is apparently uh, enough to keep them from being spotted by helicopters. Oh, and apparently the um- while the Autobots couldn't be bothered about the flower beds before, Optimus can see and gently pick up the plot glasses that Sam uh, well basically Sam lost them when they fell and Optimus caught them with his soft foot.

O: Yes. And then army talk, army talk, army talk, boy let me tell ya... just how much I do not care.

S: And then the Secretary of Defense was apparently unaware of Sector Seven’s existence until now because he didn't need to know about them.

O: You know, copying Independence Day only with him instead of the president.

S: [sighs] Sector Seven is a special access division of the government created by President Hoover. Hm...

O: And at Nellis Air Force Base, Lennox and his team are intercepted before they can head home. Basically they're voluntold they're gonna help with this alien robot crisis.

S: Yup. And the Secretary of Defense's meeting with the Sector Seven guys and intends to bring Maggie with them.

O: This whole scene feels very much like, “Yes, and…” The Secretary of Defense wants Maggie to be his adviser, but when Glen asks if he is coming too and the Secretary of Defense asks, “Who is this?” Maggie just responds “He's my advisor,” and he [the Secretary of Defense] just goes with it, brings Glen along too.

S: Glen's getting the ride of a lifetime.

O: Yup!

S: I guess.

O: And finally, we get some of our separate plot threads to come together as Sam, Mikaela, Maggie, Glen, and the Secretary of Defense are now loaded up in the same helicopter and head to the Hoover Dam.

S: Weren't Maggie and the Secretary of Defense and Glen in goddamn Washington DC?

O: Yes. Yeah.

S: Kill me now.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] Poor Mikaela, she just looks so tired and done with everything.

O: You just know she hasn't slept all night.

S: Honestly they probably got shoved in a holding cell, so no.

O: Yeah, and then shoved on a helicopter.

S: Yeah, here's some more Bumblebee tortured before cutting back to the Autobots talking about how they must go on and they can sense that the AllSpark is near.

O: With what? Your bullshit radar!?!

S: Maybe they can sense it with their pheromone detectors.

O: Ratchet, what can your robot eye-

S: [laughs]

O: Ratchet what can your robot nose smell? Frenzy is tiny, and up to shenanigans.

S: It's time to break into the Hoover Dam!

O: So just getting back to this, because the movie really, really wants to bring this home, Sam can't possibly go out with someone with a juvie record. He wouldn't you know, want a date below his class, or marry below his class, or god forbid fuck below his class, right?

S: Sam you asshole.

O: Yup!

S: And boom, we have a Megatron.

O: Thanks, I hate it.

S: Still frozen, and presumably unconscious and offline.

O: Sector Seven’s been keeping him on ice for a while apparently.

S: Yeah, and apparently a good chunk of modern technological advancements since the thirties has been due to humans studying Megatron. Oh god, now I'm just thinking about mechanical television. Did mechanical television come from Megatron?

O: Sure. Sure. Why not, why not? “Yes, and.”

S: Simmons continues to antagonize the group. Who...who isn't a jackass in this group?

O: [sighs] Like, look, I don't like Sam but maybe Simmons, as the fucking adult needs to get his dick out of his hands and stop getting into Sam's personal space. It's creepy!

S: Honestly, a lot of the adult men in this movie are just creepy.

O: Yeah.

S: I mean, Lennox and Epps and the soldiers-

O: Aren’t-

S: - don’t seem to be creepy but...

O: Yeah.

S: Most of them, most of them-

O: Yeah, like his dad is shitty like... well- I guess Glen and the Secretary of Defense aren't bad?

S: Yeah, but they don't get a whole lot of screen time and also one of them's over 60.

O: That’s also true. Anyway, it is explained that the AllSpark was hidden and that they built the Hoover Dam around it.

S: How did the Native Americans in the area not know about it?

O: Maybe it was underwater? If it was visible they absolutely would have but I wouldn't put it past the Army or Sector Seven, or whoever, to conveniently ignore that fact.

S: But, um, would have been a river before the dam was put in and-

O: Obviously, Specs, you’re forgetting how deep rivers are.

S: The fact that you actually spent time looking to attempt to look this up-

O: I tried, and I could not find a straight answer! [laughs]

S: Well, it’s not exactly like they were going around do river measuring in that time period is it?

O: No... I’m still sad I couldn't find a straight answer though.

S: And I mean, who knows, maybe they accidentally made it a huge afterward.

O: I- I do think that would legitimately be funny, is like, some scientist poked it the wrong way and now it's like, “Oops, it just takes up the entire hanger now, sorry guys.”

S: [laughs] It’s like, “Oh shit. Oh shit, I'm glad it didn't crush me.”

O: Yeah.

S: [sigh] The AllSpark just has random powers.

O: Frenzy now has a body again.

S: Yeah, Frenzy, uh- Frenzy was taken along this entire time in Mikaela's bag, I think?

O: Yeah, pretty much. Like, he got out of her bag and sort of crawled into Hoover- the Hoover Dam.

S: Yeah, and he's able to signal the rest of the Decepticons with the Megatron's location and then we get to see them finally begin to mobilize.

O: And now, an hour and 40 minutes into this movie, we have a Starscream. There is no power on heaven or Earth that can make me believe that that is his holoform. Mark my words, I don't care if IDW never gave him the holoform, but his holoform form would be female, and no one can stop me.

S: [sighs] And then more on the AllSpark’s plethora of abilities, apparently they can use it to turn random electronics into Transformers. Which... the Autobots would probably consider kind of horrifying, because these are babies and now the babies are dead.

O: Yep.

S: Simmons proceeds to demo this for us by taking Glen's cell phone and zapping it's to life.

O: I will forever be confused for this, why does it seem like the AllSpark always makes stuff that's evil?

S: I mean it's a baby.

O: I know, but it has red optics, I feel like we have to assume it's a Decepticon.

S: Maybe the Decepticons are the last people who had it if they'd programmed it for red optics-

O: [laughs] So you’re telling me it’s stuck on the make evil setting? Got it.

S: It’s possible! I don't know how this works, and it’s not like we're gonna get a demonstration of it later, considering what happens.

O: Yeah, yeah…

S: And Simmons proceeds to kill this little phone Transformer by basically electrocuting the shit out of it.

O: We create life, then we kill it, but we're the good guys remember! And now, finally, Dorito-scream has been achieved!

S: It's just so triangular.

O: I don't know why Starscream looks like a giant flying Dorito in this-

S: It might-

O: -but I find it hilarious.

S: It might be his color scheme… partially.

O: He doesn’t really have a color scheme.

S: Yes, but-

O: It’s just he’s so triangular!

S: Yes, but he's also kind of beige.

O: Eh, you’re right, that doesn’t really help things. Uh, Frenzy manages to take out the power for Sector Seven’s facilities.

S: How does a dam lose power considering in generates power?

O: I don’t know, Specs.

S: Sorry, I mean, I guess it's possible that he could, like basically prevent water from going through the dam by freezing something, but…

O: I think he actually just started destroying the mechanical stuff, so like the generators and stuff. It's now time to defrost our Decepticon warlord on high.

S: Frenzy is getting busy in the control room again- again blowing all of the shit up, and then all of the scientists in the main bay when Megatron is being held seem like, super unfazed by the deep thaw that's starting.

O: You guys need to run. I have zero doubts that Megatron won't kill you out of sheer spite.

S: Yup. Did you know that there was a whole armoury of bullshit under the Hoover Dam? Because of all- the soldiers are like, “Pass the guns! Give me that buffet of guns and ammo!”

O: And Lennox is kind of done with Simmons, because uh, yeah uh, violence is uh, implied. I'm so glad that this movie is all violence, no character development, or emotions, or feelings We don't have feeling Specs, because we are sex having heterosexual men! Hetero men who have sex with women, never mind that G1 is one of the least straight things I've ever seen in my life!

S: To be fair to the soldiers they did not sign up for this bullshit, and then they got dragged into and all they wanted to do was go home.

O: And-and look, I would be pretty upset about being shoved into the same room as Agent Simmons. So yeah, I can't blame them too much.

S: Yeah.

O: They go to retrieve Bumblebee.

S: And Sam's like, “Stop electrocuting my car!” Not even, “Stop electrocuting that guy.” “Stop electrocuting my car.”

O: Of course! And Bumblebee just gives a him a look like, “Dude, I have had the shittiest day.”

S: Yup, and poor dude is like, super jumpy and paranoid but I mean who wouldn't- who wouldn't be?

O: I- yeah, I mean considering he was tortured all night- he's got ever right! I still legitimately don't know what catching Bee accomplished!

S: I don't think it accomplished shit except getting him to this location, which I guess was the plot contrivance. And now we've got the magical size changing cube. As Bumblebee touches the AllSpark and like, pokes it a bit and then suddenly it is like hand-sized, for him.

O: Even their spark of life can mass shift apparently.

S: Oh god. [snickers] It's from a planet of shapeshifters. Apparently mass shifting is just what this stupid thing does.

O: Apparently.

S: Everybody can just understand Bee now, this is fine. And, oh, Bee’s been talking in like, radio and music references this entire time, and I don't think we ever mentioned that.

O: [laughs] You're right I don't think we did. He isn't talking normally, he's using recordings.

S: He talks TV, basically.

O: Pretty much. Well, asshole’s up! “This is not where I fell asleep, I'll have you know!”

S: He’s a lot less uh, he's a lot less of a morning person than Skyfire was.

O: [laughs]

S: Skyfire was much more genteel about the entire thing.

O: [laughs]

S: Megatron's a jet in this, so we’re- you know just so we're all on the same page here. He meets up with his second-in-command Dorito-san.

O: [laughing] Dorito-san!?!

S: [laughing] Sorry... He meets up with his second-in-command, you know, the Dorito.

B: [laugh]

O: There's some groveling that happens. Megatron tells Starscream he's disappointed in him and all I can think is- he didn't even do anything yet!

S: Apparently he couldn't find Megatron, which I guess is what he's disappointed in.

O: I guess? “Do you realize I had to listen to... Francois talk about his- his terrible wife for three weeks, do you realize that [Starscream]!?!”

S: Simmons, the Secretary of Defense, Maggie, and Glen uh, remain behind when everyone else heads out to go to... stuff. So while everyone else is going and doing stuff the- [sighs] the dam crew, that's what I'm going to call them.

O: [laughs] Okay, okay, I’m here for this.

S: They attempt to contact the Air Force, to try and get some you know, backup for Bee and company.

O: They do this by using some very antiquated equipment, because the Cons have knocked out most communication worldwide.

S: Which is not explored in this movie, let alone any others.

O: Yeah, because this would be like a thing that should affect everybody.

S: Yes, there goes-

O: Or at least everybody in the in the US.

S: Yeah, frankly I'm kind of- well, no, apparently landlines don't work and I don't understand why.

O: I don't either.

S: But yeah, cuz this- this would have wiped out... literally every communication except apparently shortwave radio. But apparently, yeah, shortwave radio will still work. Which is what they're attempting to use here. They get the brilliant idea to hotwire a computer to transmit a tone through a radio signal, while they're trying to hold off Frenzy who is trying to get into the room that they're- that they’ve holed themselves up in. Which... it's a weird, weird room.

O: It is, but now back to how sexy the cars are! Look at the car, so sexy!

S: Why is everything so orange? I will bemoan the orange!

O: We can’t have no girly colors in here conveying emotions, Specs! Look at the cars!

S: [sighs] And the Autobots immediately join up with Bee, it's convoy time!

O: [attempts to sing] We're gonna roll this truckin convoy- oh god that’s the right tune. I even looked it up!

S: Oh! I've got it on my phone.

[The audio cuts and “Convoy,” by C. W. McCall plays]

B: [singing] “We have a little ol’ convoy, burning through the night! Yeah, we got a little convoy. Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy! Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'cross the U-S-A. Convoy!”

[The audio cuts as a record scratch noise plays]

O: That’s enough of a music break!

B: [laugh]

S: Ah, Maggie and company began to arm themselves with some of the older guns um, from the display cases in the room they're stuck in.

O: Oh yeah, I'm sure those will shoot just fine!

S: Where did they even find the ammo or…?

O: Yeah! Because why would the ammo be stored with most of the stuff that's on display?

S: I mean that thing- I mean like, having the ammo for interest but yeah, why would they have ammo or even gun powder in this room? [quietly] I don’t know. [normal volume] And then it's back to Bee again.

O: Wow, I just don't care! Even the G1 episodes, where they were constantly swapping back and forth between a bunch of different scenes, are better than this.

S: Those typically have more things happening in them.

O: Surprisingly, yes. I'd much rather watch Megatron throw shit at Starscream.

S: Honestly, that's more cohesive.

O: And that is saying something.

S: Okay, so one of the Decepticons, Bonecrusher, catches up with the Bots and Optimus transforms into a robot mode to protect the others.

O: He just seems like such an asshole here, they're literally fighting on a highway. There are so many people that must die here!

S: Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of amused by how it looks like their roller-skating but that doesn't exactly take away from the- oh, there's a terrifying robot deathmatch and so many people are dying.

O: Yeah and but- but thanks Bay! I'm so glad that this one kid and his mom survived. Thanks for that.

S: God, so many people probably need therapy in this universe.

O: I would think so.

S: Frenzy is now in the vents.

O: Good boy, you go get ‘em! Even if the B team is definitely the better… group.

S: He comes out and falls so straight onto a glass case, uh-

O: That's my boy!

B: [laugh]

S: Like, he's using shuriken things, like he was using a shuriken things before, but now he's been like boomerang- boomeranging shit around and he accidentally beheads himself with his boomerang shuricane- shuriken thingy.

O: That's my boy! [laughs] So interestingly (to me anyway), it seems like this- the movie series uh, kind of made the whole- the whole integrated weapon thing for the Transformers more common. I know you saw it a bit in G1, but it seemed kind of inconsistent in either how it worked or what weapons they had. Ironhide, just Ironhide, right?

S: Mm-hm.

O: Um, but- but this made it more consistent, like especially in Prime you- you saw that consistency and thought applied to the weapons and how that- they access them throughout the entire series, which was really nice.

S: It was also pretty consistent with Animated, which I think came out around the same time as this movie though I don't remember if it was prior to the movie being released or afterward.

[TFA was released in December of 2007, whereas the first Transformers live action film had been released in July 2007. ~O]

O: Well, and I mean, either, or- either the movie borrowed from it, or it borrowed from the movie with Megatron kind of being that thing that advanced tech for-

S: Yeah.

O: -for humanity, which was just kind of weird, but yeah.

S: Or they both borrowed it from the comics, and then just made it consistent because they do have pretty integrated weaponry in the original Marvel comics.

O: That- that's true I-I meant- I thought you meant the uh, Megatron being- being why we had any technological advancement-

S: Oh-

O: -and I was really confused for a good minute.

S: No, no, no, no, sorry, just the-the integrated weaponry.

O: Fair.

S: Though [laughs] Animated did that Megatron’s the reason that they have-

O: Yeah! That- that like, New Detroit or Detroit has like all this like, amazing tech.

S: Our convoy enters Mission City, and prepares to hold off the Decepticons to prevent them from getting the AllSpark.

O: Why did they bring this into a city?

S: I don't know, no one explains their shitty decisions here.

O: It gets weirder because apparently, when they were writing or making the movie there- they originally have thought to have the climax in the Grand Canyon. Which seems like that would make a lot more sense? Like, sure, there's less coverage per se, but way less civilian life in danger!

S: It would have also involved like, immense environmental destruction but that’s not something they would have been concerned about.

O: I just don’t see- I don't see how that would have been more work then the city.

S: They may have had issues actually getting- well no, they could have done it all in green screen but…

O: Anyway, we've contacted the Air Force, so the dam team has succeeded.

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, Lennox and his dudes communicate what they need.

S: Oh honey, that's not the Air Force. That's really not the Air Force.

O: But only Ironhide seems to realize it's actually Starscream that's approaching.

S: Bee uses a random... well, it's got a Furby on it, so it's the Furby delivery truck as cover.

O: Starscream shoots said truck and send everyone flying. Everyone else is covered in dirt and grime here- and I mean technically so is Mikaela, but she has an almost angelic glow about her when she wakes up in a pile of rubble looking at Sam. Sam also has an angelic glow because remember, he gonna hit that.

S: [sharp intake of breath] Uh-huh, Bumblebee has lost his legs in the last attack.

O: And Bumblebee is basically half a bot, let's keep that in our back pocket for later shall we?

S: Yeah. Mikaela being the badass lady that she is like, “ We're gonna move Bee! We're going to get this done!” And proceeds to break into and hotwire a tow truck to do just that.

O: Go Mikaela. Bee gives the AllSpark to Sam and conveys to him that he should go on without him basically.

S: And then another Decepticon um, Demolisher, shows up and uh, Ironhide, Ratchet and Jazz engage him. And I think Demolisher’s a tank?

O: Yeah… and I think that one [the tank] was Demolisher? I think this is something that really frustrates me about Sam though, so much what happening- what is happening around him seems rooted in the sense of self sacrifice, but yet he doesn't ever have to sacrifice anything?

S: Like, the only things that he might theoretically have to sacrifice could be his life. And he never does that, he's never even like, even remotely close to doing something like that except by accident.

O: Exactly.

S: By like, falling off a building.

O: Yeah, like it's never, “I'm going to-,” it never feels like, “I am going to choose to do this thing.”

S: Yeah, and then random boob and ass shot from some random lady who's in danger.

O: And I'm not judging her for what she's wearing, but you just know she got put in that outfit and put into that shot for one reason which was titillation and I'm like, did you have to? In a movie about giant robots, did you have to?

S: It's only theoretically about giant robots, you know it's about Sam-

O: [sighs] Yeah...

S: and his boner.

O: [quietly] Boner of fate.

S: [high pitched laughter]

[The laughter is abruptly cut off as the screen cuts to a purple image of one of the Conehead Seekers in a t-rex’s jaws, overlaid with the Decepticon logo variation used by Afterspark Podcast, with text reading, “WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.” Elevator music plays in the background.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: Megatron lands, and you know, shouts his own name.

O: Why are you- why did he do that!?! Is he a Pokemon now? “Megatron! MEGATRON!” [laughs]

S: He’s got to announce his presence.

O: [still laughing] Obviously!

S: Poor Jazz attacks Megatron, and Megatron grabs him before flying off and landing on top of a building.

O: And then he rips Jazz in two.

S: Poor Jazz will not survive this.

O: Remember what I said earlier?

S: About Bee?

O: Yeah. [sighs] You- you brought up a good point prior, technically Bee only lost his legs from the knee down, but I'm just gonna say, they are giant fucking robots and I still don't feel like Jazz should have died here. Also, according to the TF Wiki there was some point during development when Megatron was going to literally, not figuratively, literally, eat other bots’ sparks, so if that had been what had happened- Jazz being dead would have made a lot more sense!

S: How in a movie about alien freaking robots does Bay manage to kill the metaphorical black guy first? Why?

O: I don't know why he killed anyone here! We've barely gotten to see the robots at all!

S: Apparently, we have to make uh, make there be some sort of... I don't know, people are dying, this stuff is really real. Except... no, they use the guy who's- basically Jazz's speech patterns are close- are I don't know, AAVE? American… African-American Vernacular, I think?

O: Eh, it’s- he's coded African American because of his speech patterns-

S: Yeah.

O: -is probably, how I would know-

S: The way, yes-

O: -the best way to say it? And I'm just super sorry if that's not accurate.

S: Yeah, we- we apologize if this is inaccurate and offends anyone. It isn't our intention.

O: Yeah. But- but yeah, like effectively, [sighs] he, ugh, it’s just literally he- he killed the black guy. I know he's not literally a black guy, but- but that is how he has been characterized.

S: That's just... that's how it feels.

O: Yeah.

S: And back to Dumbass McGee. Sam is tasked with taking the AllSpark to the top of this building, so that they can hand it off to the Air Force.

O: Did they miss the whole Megatron and Starscream have jet alts bit?

S: I'm gonna go with, yes.

O: Apparently, okay. Just checking.

S: Everyone is a very, very disrespectful, like they're fucking disrespectful as fuck to Mikaela and no one gives Sam shit but Mikaela trying to get Bee out of the way invites comments.

O: Golly, I wonder why!

S: And Optimus finally arrives.

O: What took him so long!?!

S: He got lost! He fell off a highway and wasn't sure which way everyone else went, and also, with all the you know, internet and Wi-Fi and everything knocked out, he didn't have any GPS.

O: [laughs] That is the best excuse- that’s the best explanation I've heard. Headcannon accepted!

S: It’s not like he's driven around there before, and I don't think he has Ratchet’s nose. [laughs]

O: No, no, no, nope, uh-hm-

S: [continues laughing]

O: - nope that’s it, I’m leaving!

S: [continues laughing]

O: I’m done, I’me done! [unintelligible] -of Ratchet’s nose!

S: [continues laughing]

[A door slams]

S: [continues laughing]

[The laughter is abruptly cut off as the screen cuts to a purple image of Soundwave being thrown into a rocket, overlaid with the Decepticon logo variation used by Afterspark Podcast, with text reading, “WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.” Elevator music plays in the background.]

[The screen returns to the normal screen with the episode information on it.]

S: And then Megatron shows up, transforming into robot mode.

O: So I don’t hate his alt exactly, but I just can't help but think Prime did this better. Of course his voice was better too, but what do I know!?! Sorry, is my salt showing? Seriously though, I find it funny that both damn times that go to make a Transformers movie, they- they get Cullen to do Optimus, but they don't get Welker to Megatron. Only to have Welker either return to do the character in the TV show or later in the movie series. Although it's kind of funny cuz they took him out in the movie and had somebody else play Galvatron and it's the exact opposite in the live-action, where once Galvatron shows up Welker is doing him. The irony.

S: That is funny. And then Megatron and Optimus fight.

O: Finally! We get some of that homoerotic fighting this series is so known for! He's sitting on Optimus punching him, yep.

S: Except a lot of this is done in a shaky cam so..

O: Yeah, so it's still terrible but eh, I mean, at least we're getting... sexual tension now?

B: [laugh]

S: And Sam is somehow running faster than the robots, how??? They have a wider stride.

O: Dunno, but it’s the return of Dorito-scream!

S: And Ironhide tells Sam to run, like he wasn't already doing that.

O: Mikaela however, is a stone cold badass.

S: Her and Bee enter the fray, with her driving backwards and Bee doing all the shooting and fighting. “I'll drive, you shoot,” indeed.

O: I really feel like they bond here, but we never get to see him be as good friends with her as he is with Sam which seems really shitty. This scene had actual feelings! Emotions! Characters vibing with each other, dammit! Mikaela's like, “I'm scared, but I can help you and I know you want to help,” and I am here for that.

S: Yeah, they're actually working together instead of Sam who so far has uh, either been chasing the car, or being chased by the car, or possibly driving the car.

O: But not actually driving the car, like all movie.

S: Yeah. Sam gets up on the roof and uh, manages to set off a flare.

O: But Starscream is RIGHT THERE, so the helicopter gets shot down before they can retrieve the AllSpark.

S: God, there is such a body count in this movie.

O: Right!?! But it's fine because Sam and his penis, I mean hec-

S: [laughs]

O: Sam and his boner, I mean Sam and his not girlfriend survive.

S: Ugh, Optimus attempts to reach Sam.

O: And doesn't try to stop the falling helicopter at all.

S: It doesn't have the thing he wants.

O: [It’s] so fucked up.

S: Megatron reaches the roof and demands that Sam hands over the AllSpark.

O: Megatron then asks if it's courage or fear that compels him, which I will say- fear! Obviously! The man has never known courage in his entire life!

S: Sam is- well, ok, so the entire time this exchange was going on, Sam was like, holding on to like, the front or back of this statue that's up on the roof.

O: Mm-hmm.

S: And, uh, basically Sam, and I think the statue, get knocked off the building. But don't worry, Optimus catches him with his big soft hands.

O: Obviously. Also, we see Optimus’ battle mask, it's something that was kind of neat. An interesting idea when done WELL, like say, Prime or even Animated! You can pray this soap box for my COLD DEAD HANDS.

S: It's also not bad Cyberverse, but that's significantly newer.

O: Yeah, but it would be pulling from the other two.

S: Yeah. And, um, how are people still driving around in this city? Wasn't- well, I mean, there wouldn't- well, okay, I guess... there may be people who haven't gotten the memo about the giant robot war.

O: I just feel like, maybe they would have seen the smoke, or the explosions, and decided driving would be bad, but I don’t know…

S: I don't know how well sound travels in this city.

O: Who knows. Optimus and Megatron both hit the street and seem to need a few seconds to shake the fall off, despite Sam being perfectly fucking fine.

S: That makes zero sense. Humans are, uh... special.

O: [sighs] Optimus tells Sam that if he can't defeat Megatron, then Sam needs to push the AllSpark into Optimus’ chest- to make sure Megs doesn't get it.

S: Like, this is actually something that I think Optimus has said before?

O: Yeah, he- he said it to the Autobots earlier and- and Ratchet was like, “That might kill ya both! Dumbass.”

S: Yeah.

O: Only without the dumbass-

S: I think-

O: -that’s my addition. I know how to write Ratchet talking better than this movie does. Fight me. [laughs]

S: Optimus just seems kind of suicidal at this point.

O: I mean… yeah. He does not seem happy.

S: Yeah.

O: I mean, like, look, I can't think anybody would be happy in the middle of war or anything, but at least feel like G1 Optimus probably has moments. Prime Optimus probably at least loves his team, to some capacity. Animated Optimus loves his team. As for as much as they drive him nuts.

S: [laughs]

O: This Optimus? I don't think there's a single thing, a single spark of joy in this mech’s life.

S: Yeah, and back to the Decepticons, it’s Blackout time.

O: I kind of like how its rotors look like a cape when he transforms.

S: They wiggle.

O: THEY WIGGLE.

S: I- I enjoy the wiggly cape and it-

O: I do too!

S: And it’s- it’s helicopter rotors are like that.

O: Yeah, like, you kind of see with Blades a little bit in Rescue Bots too.

S: Yeah, he's a wiggly boy. Lennox and company are able to defeat Blackout with some help from the Air Force.

O: Do they kill him with shot to the crotch?

S: [laughs] That’s entirely possible.

O: [laughs]

S: Lennox, I think, ends up taking... I don't know, the thing with- cuz-

O: They like- he slides underneath him and shoots. So I’m like, “Did you kill him with a shot to the robo dick?”

S: [laughs]

O: Really? Is that the Decepticons’ weakness? That’s good to know. Optimus, aim there!

B: [laugh]

S: Oh, um, and so... basically, there's apparently a particular type of round that they have to use. Tha- it's like, a Sabot-something or other at that-

O: I don’t remember.

S: Yeah.

O: And I didn't- I didn't actually write it down because it was not important enough to me, sorry.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: Starscream takes out a good chunk of the military reinforcements and so like, at one point one of the soldiers is like, “Friendlies don't fly under building height,” or whatever.

O: They proceed to fly in the building height a few scenes later.

S: Yeah, while…

O: Starscream is transforming in and out of jet mode to take them out.

S: Yes, so yeah, there's- god, there is so much mortality going on here. Cuz there's like, multiple planes going down-

O: Uh-huh

S: -in the middle of this inner city area.

O: And like, I will say, and we both comm- or I think you commented on like- it is a- it's a good fight like, for how Starscream would fight.

S: Yeah.

O: Because he’s sort of constantly shifting back and forth.

S: Yeah, I think he's choosing good aerial tactics for what he is.

O: He is and it’s really neat, actually.

S: Yeah, that was pretty cool. From a mortality from human perspective point that's horrifying but...

O: That’s true. Elsewhere, Megatron and Optimus continue to fight but Optimus is definitely losing.

S: Yeah, and so, Sam's been underfoot I guess, the entire time?

O: And he hasn't been squished.

S: Yeah.

O: Pity.

S: So instead of shoving the cube into Optimus’ chest he shoves it into Megatron's, because apparently Megatron’s spark is just out there on display… somehow?

O: Shit! We don't know what that does! What if he accidentally gave him immortality or something!?!

S: Apparently that didn't happen, cuz it seems- apparently that killed Megatron and like destroyed the cube???

O: Ahh? [laughs]

S: And now Ironhide is walking around carrying both halves of Jazz's corpse like... babies in the crook of his arms. Before handing them all over to Optimus.

O: That’s not awkward at ALL! [laughs]

S: Sam, Mikaela, and Bee reunite.

O: Exposition by the Secretary of Defense lets us know that the President has ordered the end of Sector Seven and all the Decepticon remains have been dropped into the Linares Trench where the cold and water pressure should keep them entombed.

[I don’t know if we misheard this when we were watching the movie or what, but according to TF Wiki it was the Laurentian Abyss, I’m really not sure where we got Linares from. ~O]

S: [sighs] Later, at yet another sunset, um…

O: [laughs] There's so many of those in this movie! Optimus Prime closes out the movie, leaving us with a message of questionable hope and alerting any remaining Autobots that they may come to Earth.

S: We'll see some of them in the next movie. Um...

O: But this is all while Sam and Mikaela are getting hot and heavy on top of Bumblebee’s windshield.

S: Yup. That's- that's a person guys! Maybe don't make out on top of him unless this is some sort of really weird three-way. Which, ok, maybe not so weird if they're into that, but I don't think they discussed it.

O: [laughs] All the other Autobots in the background are totally watching too, so it just sort of feels like, extra level of creepy.

S: Yeah. It really does. I'm just shaking my head. And um-

O: That's this movie in a nutshell, man.

S: The credits roll as the incredibly soothing tones of Linkin Park uh, they- they play and they escort us out of this movie.

O: So let mercy come, except for Decepticons because they don't deserve it according to this movie.

S: A few other scenes are cut into the credits.

O: Mostly involving Sam's parents.

S: It's really unimportant.

O: We do see Starscream escape into space though.

S: So, what are our conclusions?

O: Watching the Bumblebee movie and the entirety of Transformers Prime will get you everything that was pleasant about this movie and be a more enjoyable experience. Maybe go do that instead? The Prime designs even seem at least loosely based on some of the live-action designs, you know some of the elements [of them] that I actually liked. Real talk? It introduced some interesting concepts, but overall I hated it pretty much the entire time I was watching it. Specs?

S: I would have preferred to see a different movie, perhaps involving some of these characters but not all of them. Um, specifically I would have liked to see something starring Mikaela, Maggie, Glen, and Miles. Miles would have definitely been like, just you know, the random straight man who has no idea what the hell's going on. While the other three are hyper- well they're all hyper competent at something, and then the soldiers could have been interesting secondary characters too.

But you know, there were really too many characters in this movie for anyone to have a complete character arc. So it would work better with a smaller cast, maybe just focusing on the first four that I mentioned? Either that or having a TV series with the soldiers coming in as liaisons with the military kind of like Fowler from Prime. Some sort of buddy comedy with the first four or just a more- actually, something with more of the tone of Prime as a TV series-

O: Yeah.

S: - would have- would have worked well.

O: So like, what robots would you want to see in that?

S: Uh, I mean, if I was going to keep the Bayverse robots... I just want to see more characterization from them and better writing. But if I could have any character, G1 based Ratchet, uh, maybe Hot Rod or Bumblebee for you know, kid appeal. If I was gonna pick between live-action Bumblebees, I'd go with the Bumblebee [movie] Bumblebee.

O: Yeah, he was definitely better.

S: A G1 based Wheeljack, Cyberverse Grimlock. Uh, if it was something that was gonna be more lighthearted, maybe the Rescue Bots, particularly Blades. Cuz I would like a flight frame in there.

O: Yeah.

S: And… so- Optimus, even if he's only someone who shows uh, sometimes?

O: Periodically, yeah.

S: Optimus would be good. If this was going to be a heavier thing, keep the Rescue Bots off. And, I mean, if we're going- going back to the Bayverse thing, if we're going to stick with Bayverse Autobots, just give them screen time and character development. And also Bayverse Arcee, specifically, the design for the toy from the first movie, even if she was pink.

O: Fair.

S: But as it stands, [sighs] the Bayverse Autobots in this movie are just... Optimus is impatient, Ironhide really likes his guns, Rachet is tactless, and Bumblebee is immature. And then Jazz is the only person who seemed to actually learn about human social customs in some- in some manner. He doesn't destroy as much shit as everyone else.

O: Yeah, Jazz was definitely the best one.

S: He was! And then he- then they killed him, he died! It’s just like, why did you do that?

B: [sigh]

S: If you're going to have characters, please give them screen time and don't kill them.

O: What a concept! I guess that leaves me to fill out the Cons for this cast. Uh, Megatron obviously, uh, G1 or Prime. Probably Prime if I had to pick one because they- again, I feel like the Prime characters lend themselves reasonably well to a more, kind of realistic plot. Soundwave, probably Prime, again feel like he fits better into this. Uh, he needs some of the cassettes though, which Prime didn't really have, but I definitely want Ravage, cuz I love Ravage. Uh, Knockout because he's fun, and snarky. Um, it's not Cons without a Starscream, so Starscream. But similar what you said, I would literally take just fleshing out the Cons in the Bayverse, because they had so little screenshin- screenshine?

S: [laughs]

O: They had so little screen time, and just no personality, and it was just... depressing!

S: The most screen time that we had for any of them would be Blackout at the beginning, where he's basically just shooting things-

O: Yeah, but he didn't even have any lines!

S: Yeah, and then…

O: Like, in fact, so few of them had lines!

S: Yeah.

O: Like, the way- even the Decepticons, most of the time when they talk, they talked in Cybertronian even.

S: Yeah.

O: And it was translated, it was just like, “On our way,” or, “Megatron has been found.” It wasn't even- it wasn't character, it was just a statement!

S: Yeah, like none of them had personality and that’s just so disappointing.

O: It really is.

S: [sighs] And it's- we have fanfiction recommendations.

O: Yeah, I know we didn't do this with the other specials but because there is actually fanfic based on the live-action stuff, we kind of thought it was more applicable here.

S: Alright, so the first one is, “The Princess is in Another Castle,” by Bibliotecaria_D. It's in the mov- the Bayverse continuity, obviously. Uh, rating, PG-13. It's got- it has past slash, so it's not a general fic. Parings, uh, past Mikaela Banes and Sam Witwicky. Um, characters, Mikaela Banes. And in summary, “Mikaela Banes is waiting” That's- that's the long and short of the summary folks.

O: [laughs]

S: But it's really good! It’s-

O: It's basically... what did happen to Mikaela, after her and Sam broke up? And it- and it feels like this very good character development thing for her and it feels- it feels good to read. Like it feels like- yes, this feels like something the character would have done and it it really gives her more depth than the movies ever did.

S: More depth and agency.

O: Agency, she has goals- that aren’t Sam oriented.

S: Um-hm.

O: It's really nice, I really recommend it.

S: I should reread it it's been a while.

O: I do recommend it like, I’ve read it multiple times because I thought it was really good.

S: Yeah. So the the rec for it is Mikaela and it's a one shot. And so our next one is- would you like to talk about it or would you prefer me?

O: I'm gonna talk about it, and I'll kind of explain why I maybe can't give the best in-depth explanation of it. But uh, our other fanfic suggestion is, “Towards Peace”. It is by ariealbots, the continuity is Bay movies, if- they bring in elements of IDW, it's rated T. It is slash, but believe me when I say I'm not gonna read this entire list. I'll just tell you kind of the top ones are Megatron/Optimus, Megatron/Ultra Magnus, Optimus Prime/Shockwave, Mikaela Banes/Bumblebee/Sam Whitwicky- so they actually are a trine in this like, they're- they're a poly relationship-

S: Um-hm.

O: -as far as I can tell. Um, characters... there are so many! I- like, it would have been absurd for me to try to list them all but basically the Bayverse cast, you get elements of some of the IDW characters thrown in, like Verity. You get some of the Bumblebee characters thrown in like you actually get Charlie. Um, and they're pairing up essentially with all the bots that are still on Earth and it's really- it's really great cuz I think Charlie gets uh, teamed up with Skyfire? So like, the- the Russian jet not like the Skyfire from G1.

S: Oh, the guy for the second movie?

O: Yes! Like-

S: That’s Jetfire.

O: Jetfire, thank you! I knew the name wasn’t exactly the same and I kept forgetting. Skyfire actually shows up as a separate character in this and he's more based off G1 and IDW. But yeah, she- she sort of is paired up with Jetfire and- and it's really lovely and I like it. [laughs]

[Okay, to make this all the more confusing, he’s called Jetstorm in this particular fic, so I just got this wrong in all the ways. ~O]

S: Except he's not Russian in the second one he's an SR-71 Blackbird.

O: He has a Russian accent.

S: Ah, ok.

O: I don't know why-

S: Well-

O: Like- like it it makes more sense when I read it but-

S: Okay.

O: But anyway in summary, heh, “At the climax of the Battle of Mission City the AllSpark is pushed into Megatron's chest and instead of killing him it does what it was made for, it transforms. After millennia of slow descent into madness brought by programming corruption the Lord Protector Megatron finds his mind suddenly restored but the memory of what he's done cannot be washed away. With the war brought to a violent halt both Autobots and Decepticons must learn to coexist if they want to reunite their civilization and restore their dying world.”

S: I like that summary.

O: It's... good and obviously it's because, Bayverse, and it took place right after the first movie so I wanted to recommend it here. Um, it is multi chapter, it's still ongoing, which is kind of my caveat usually I don't like recommending things unless they’re finished. And I actually have a hard time following this one- reading it, partially because I have a hard time telling any of the Bayverse bots apart.

Like, I think, I'm actually gonna have an easier time reading it now, now that I had to like, sit down and fucking disect the Bayverse movie, so I'm gonna be really happy to go back and read it. Um, I think it's pretty safe to assume a bunch of the pairings are like past and stuff, because like, I- I haven't seen hide nor hair of Ultra Magnus yet. Um, but- but anyway it's- it is good and like, the stuff I've read I described it as like, having this very kind of sweet pervasive kindness to it and softness to it which was really nice. Uh, it was done as part of a Big Bang, I think?

S: Hmm…

O: The Big Bang event. Like I said, they're not finished yet but I'm interested to see what they do and- and I'd liked a few of the like, characters and relationships particularly kind of with the humans and whatever kind of bot or bots they're kind of closest with.

Like I said with Charlie I'm pretty sure it was uh, Jetfire. I think Verity might have actually been with Barricade, don't quote me on that because I could totally be wrong but- but I liked it, like it was good on that level. Um, it's just I'm like, I haven't finished it yet and I haven't even read the most recent stuff so I'm always a little hesitant to recommend stuff I haven't finished reading so you know, with a grain of salt. But I like what I read.

S: I’m going to have to go look at that, because it does sound nice.

O: It- it- just… I love that a concept. God forbid, I cannot keep the Bayverse characters straight to save my life. Uh, Jazz comes back to life though. [laughs]

S: Nice.

O: Because Megatron basically start- like he- he touches Jazz and so Jazz is better now. “I got better!”

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, but- but he can also sense where like, a lot of the living Cybertronians are so like that's how they actually- they actually go get Skyfire who is in the Arctic in this uh, fanfic so you know, but- but it's good. Uh... oh! Thundercracker and Skywarp are in it so you have the full- you have a full Dorito trine. Um-

B: [laugh]

O: I like my Doritos in multiple flavors, thank you very much! [laughs]

S: Cool ranch and I'm not sure what the hell Skywarp would be.

O: Uh, cheesy?

B: [laugh]

O: Anyway, happy holidays everyone and thank you for tuning in. It's been a wild year and we're excited to keep talking about these ridiculous robots. We will be taking a break for the rest of this month and January to enjoy the holidays but we'll be back in February with episode 26, “Attack of the Autobots!” Oh god, the Ark's only got two beds and there's about to be problems.

S: Oh my god, they were all roommates.

B: [laugh]

S: They are!

O: You’re not wrong, per se...

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few. Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls.

B: Happy holidays!

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[Ending Stinger]

S: Welcome to our first anniversary special with the 2004 Transformers film.

O: That is the wrong year.

S: GAH-

B: [dissolve into laughter]

S: God dammit.

#afterspark podcast #transcript #bayverse #transformers (2007)

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trashcanreddiefan · 5 years ago

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The 4th Annual Losers’ Club Christmakkah Celebration 2/2

Summary: The Losers gather for their fourth annual Christmakkah celebration, and this time Richie and Eddie get a Christmakkah surprise.

Word Count: 3240-ish for part 2. (LOL each story got progressively longer)

Warnings: Usual Trashmouth swearing.

Author’s Note: Post-Chapter 2. All of the Losers are alive in this fic, including Stan, because canon can suck it. Final part in the series, unless I get some other ideas. Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, beginning of 4th part here.

CROSS-POSTED AT AO3.

The next three weeks flew by and before Richie knew it, the day before Christmakkah had arrived.

Earlier that day he and Eddie had finished setting up the baby's room, hung the stockings they had monogrammed with each of the Losers & Jr. Losers' names on the fireplace, and pre-made a broccoli-rice casserole and 4 different kinds of pie.

He, Bill, Stan, Patty, Bev, Ben, and Mike were all sitting in the living room, watching Olivia and Burke play with some toy cars when the doorbell rang.

"That must be Bill & Audra," Richie said. "I'll get it."

He walked over to the door and opened it. "Hey guys," he greeted Bill and Audra before scooping Max up in a hug. "Max-a-million, how are you, little dude?"

Max squished Richie's cheeks together with his tiny hands. "Fishy!"

Richie immediately sucked his cheeks in to make fish faces at Max, who giggled.

"Come on in," Richie said before calling out towards the kitchen, "babe, Bill and Audra are here!"

"Coming!" Eddie replied. "Just gotta get these pies out of the oven!"

"Eds insisted on making the pies himself," Richie explained. "No store-bought pies for him."

"You don't know what kind of artificial crap they put in the fillings," Eddie said with a huff as he joined them in the foyer. "Homemade just tastes better."

"My own little Betty Crocker," Richie joked.

"Unca Ed!" Max screeched happily, reaching his little hands out to Eddie.

"Hey guys," Eddie greeted Bill & Audra before taking Max from Richie. "And hey there, Max! How are you, buddy?"

Richie grinned. It always warmed his heart to see how great Eddie was with kids. He wasn't even jealous that Eddie was Max's favorite uncle -- especially since Richie was Olivia's, much to Stan's consternation.

"Burke and Olivia are here, you want to go play with them?"

"Yeah!" Max clapped his hands.

"Sorry we're late," Audra said. "Max took a longer nap than anticipated today."

"It's fine," Richie replied. "We're all just sitting around and are just gonna order something in for dinner tonight anyway."

"We went ahead and brought the gifts over tonight so we wouldn't have as much to bring tomorrow," Bill said. "Richie, you wanna help me bring them in?"

"Yeah, sure man."

Richie and Bill walked out to Bill's car, each grabbing a box full of gifts and bringing them in.

"Hey, everyone," Bill greeted.

"So, Richie, Eddie was telling us you guys finished the baby's room," Audra said as Richie set his box of gifts down next to the tree.

"Yeah, we finished painting last week and got most of his decorations up, and the furniture was delivered yesterday," Eddie replied. "Which is good, because we wanted to finish the room before the holidays since we're going to be busy until after the new year."

"You guys went with a sea life motif, right?" Patty asked.

"Yeah, Richie actually found this cute crib set with a bunch of turtles on it, so we centered the theme around that."

"Have you decided on a name?" Bev chimed in. "I want to get something monogrammed for him."

Richie huffed out a laugh as Eddie narrowed his eyes at him. "We're still discussing it."

Eddie scoffed. "Only because someone keeps insisting that we name him Edison!"

"Well excuse me if I want to name my son after the love of my life--"

"OHHHHKAY!" Stan interrupted. "So still working on that, gotcha. Well, now that Bill and Audra are here, how about we order some dinner? It was a long flight and I'm starving."

********************************************************************

After dinner, Richie put on A Muppet Christmas Carol for the kids to watch while the adults sat and talked.

He got up from where he had been snuggled against Eddie. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," Eddie replied.

Richie walked into the kitchen when Eddie's phone, which had been sitting on the counter, suddenly started to ring.

Without even looking at the caller ID Richie answered. "Y'ello?"

"Yes, is this Mr. Edward Kaspbrak-Tozier?" the voice on the other end replied.

"This is his husband, can I help you?"

"Oh yes…" She paused as if checking something. "Richard?"

"Yep, what can I do you for?"

"My name is Monica, I'm from the Los Angeles Center for Women. You're listed as the contacts for a Sarah Peters?"

"Yeah, she's our surrogate."

"Mr. Kaspbrak-Tozier, I'm calling to inform you that she's been admitted to the hospital in labor--"

"We'll be right there," Richie said then immediately hung up.

"EDDIE!" he yelled as he ran into the living room. "Sarah's in labor. Hospital. Now. Gotta go."

Eddie looked up at Richie in surprise then jumped up. "Ok, ok, you get the hospital bag, I'll go start the car."

Richie ran upstairs and grabbed the bag they had packed for the hospital, silently praising his husband's tendency to prepare weeks in advance.

He ran downstairs to find all the Losers gathering Eddie in a hug.

Ben pulled him into the group embrace. "Go welcome your son, guys."

"Let us know when he arrives, no matter what time it is," Stan added.

"We've got things handled here," chimed in Bev.

Richie sniffled. "Thanks, guys."

He and Eddie made their way to Eddie's Acura RDX. Not only had Richie insisted that they take his vehicle over Richie's Mustang because of course Eddie had bought the SUV with the highest safety rating, but Eddie also had a built-in knack for being able to avoid traffic on the freeway by taking back roads, so it made the most sense for him to drive.

Plus Richie was too nervous to drive, but he wouldn't admit that.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Sarah's not due for another two weeks, how the hell can she be in labor now?"

Eddie glanced over at Richie as he pulled out of their neighborhood. "Pregnancy isn't an exact science, Rich. It's all about estimated dates and whatnot."

"Holy shit, holy shit, we're about to have a kid, Eddie." He huffed out a breath. "A living, breathing human that we'll have to take care of and raise."

Eddie reached over and grabbed Richie's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You'll be a great dad, Richie."

They made it to the hospital in record time, Eddie throwing the car into park and grabbing the bag before he and Richie ran into the hospital.

The nurse at the reception desk looked up at them. "Yes, may I help you?"

"Yes, we're here for Sarah Peters, she was admitted a while ago? She's our surrogate," Eddie explained. "We're Edward and Richard Kaspbrak-Tozier."

The nurse typed a few keys on her keyboard. "Ahh, yes, she's in room 226. Go around to this left side and take the elevator to the 2nd floor, you'll find Labor & Delivery. Someone will check you in."

Richie and Eddie made their way to the second floor, getting passes at the Labor & Delivery reception desk.

Eddie gently knocked on the door to Sarah's room, hearing a 'come in' before opening the door.

Richie followed behind.

Sarah sat in a hospital bed, IV in her arm and heart monitor wrapped around her stomach. She smiled when she saw them. "Hey guys, you made it."

"Hey, Sarah, how are you feeling?" Eddie asked, moving to look at the monitors. "Richie hung up on the nurse before he asked any questions."

Richie listened as Sarah explained what had happened -- she was at her sister's house when her water broke, so her sister had driven her to the hospital and would be with her while she gave birth. "Apparently it's going to be a while, so she went downstairs to get something to eat and will be back in a bit."

A few minutes into their visit, a nurse came into the room. She stopped when she saw Eddie. "Eddie? Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you! What are you doing here?" she said with surprise and glee.

"This is my baby-- Well, my husband's and my baby," Eddie explained. "Sarah's our surrogate."

He turned to Richie. "Rich, this is Nikki, remember I told you about her? We were in nursing school together."

"Oh yeah, I remember you mentioning her. Hi," Richie said.

"Oh my gosh, you must be Eddie's husband! He's told me so much about you. Congratulations!"

"Thanks. We're very excited."

"I bet!"

Richie sort of tuned out while Nikki explained more in detail about Sarah's progression. "Ok, I'll be back in a bit to check on you, ok? Congrats again, Eddie. Richie, nice to finally meet you!"

"You too."

Shortly after Nikki left Sarah's sister, Beth, came back. "Hi, you must be Richie and Eddie. It's so nice to finally meet you two. Sarah's talked about you guys a lot."

"Thanks," Richie replied. "Nice to meet you too."

They stayed with Sarah for a few hours, stepping out of the room around 11 PM when the doctor decided to let Sarah get some rest since she hadn't progressed much.

They walked to the labor & delivery waiting area and found a couple of seats in a quiet corner.

"Um, so I guess we need to actually decide on a name," Richie said once they got settled. "I was looking online this morning and I think I found one we can both agree on."

Richie told Eddie his name choice and nervously chewed his lip while Eddie mulled it over.

Finally, Eddie nodded. "Ok. But I choose his middle name, no arguments."

Richie smiled. "Okay."

*********************************

Shortly after 6 AM, Richie was abruptly shaken awake from a doze. "Whazzat?" he mumbled.

Eddie was kneeling in front of Richie, holding 2 cups of coffee. "Rich, honey, it's time. Sarah's about to start pushing."

Richie sat straight up. "She is?"

Eddie grinned. "Yep." He handed Richie one of the cups. "Here, I went downstairs to the coffee shop."

Richie gratefully took the cup. "Oh, bless you. You're an angel, Eds."

Eddie stood up and took his seat next to Richie, linking the fingers of his free hand with Richie's. "Just think, we'll get to meet our son soon."

Richie beamed at the thought. "Still okay with the name we chose?"

Eddie nodded. "It's perfect."

About 10 minutes later, Nikki came into the waiting room and walked straight towards them. Richie and Eddie both stood when they saw her. "Is he here?" Eddie asked.

Nikki broke into a grin. "Yep, he's here!"

"Can we see him yet? How's Sarah doing?"

"Give it about 20 minutes while we finish cleaning the baby up and getting his vitals, but both he and Sarah are fine."

Eddie nodded. "Okay, just please let us know when we're able to go see him."

"Sure will. Congrats again on your baby boy, guys!"

Once Nikki had left, Eddie pulled their bag out from under his chair. "I'm gonna go clean up a bit and brush my teeth before we go see the baby. I'll be right back."

"Ok," Richie replied. "I'll let everyone know that the baby is here."

With shaking hands, he sent out a text to the Losers group chat. Guys, he's here. Eddie and I have a son!

Stan, who was usually up early even when he wasn't 2 time zones away from his norm, was the first to reply. Congratulations, guys. We'll all swing by once everyone's awake.

Ok, sounds good, Richie replied.

Eddie came back pretty quickly, so Richie grabbed his toothbrush and went to clean up as well. Not long after he came back, Nikki came back into the waiting room. "Ok, Dads, you guys ready?"

Richie grabbed Eddie's hand and gave it a squeeze. They followed Nikki back to the room Sarah and the baby had been moved to, where Sarah was holding a tiny bundle.

Sarah gave them an exhausted, but soft, smile. "Hey guys, come meet your son."

The second Richie laid eyes on him he burst into tears.

Eddie, whose eyes were also glistening, wrapped an arm around Richie as they peered at their child.

Sarah held the baby out. "Want to hold him?"

"Rich? You want to hold him first?" Eddie asked.

"No, you go ahead," Richie sniffled. "I'm so shaky right now that I'm afraid I'd drop him."

Eddie gently took the baby, who made a displeased noise at being disturbed.

Richie gave a watery laugh and looked over Eddie's shoulder. "Aww Eds, he's just like you -- small and angry."

Eddie gave him a fond glare as he gently rocked the baby.

"So did you guys pick a name?" Sarah asked.

Richie and Eddie looked at each other before Eddie smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we did."

Sarah grinned at the name. "Aww, that's perfect."

Eddie turned back to Richie. "Rich? You ready to hold him?"

Richie, who had calmed down somewhat, nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Eddie passed the baby to him. "Here you go, sweetheart."

Richie held back a gasp as the baby's eyes blinked open and he gave a tiny yawn. "Look, he's looking at me! Well hello there," he cooed. "Oh my God, I love you already."

He sat down next to Eddie on the couch. "Here, let me take your picture with him," Beth, who had been sitting in the chair next to Sarah's bed, offered.

Eddie handed her his phone and scooted closer to Richie, wrapping one arm around Richie's shoulder and placing the other on Richie's leg.

Richie moved his arms so the baby's face would be in the picture and tilted his head next to Eddie's. "Our first family photo," he murmured.

Beth took several pictures -- one of Richie and Eddie looking at the camera, one of them looking at each other over the baby, and another of them both looking at the baby.

She had just handed Eddie his phone back when Richie felt his vibrate in his pocket.

"Everyone's awake," Eddie reported. "Bill wants to know if they can come meet the baby."

Richie chuckled. "Sarah? You up for our crazy family to come by?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, actually I'm feeling pretty good right now. I got a good bit of sleep before the baby came."

Richie watched as Eddie texted back an affirmative and the room number.

"Ok, they'll be here in about an hour. Just gotta finish getting the kids dressed and wait for Bill and Audra to pick them up."

"In that case, I'm going to run home for a bit, shower and change," Beth said. "I'll be back."

While they were waiting for the Losers to arrive, the hospital administrator came by to have the necessary paperwork regarding the baby's birth filled out. All of the paperwork regarding the surrogacy and parental rights had already been completed, so Eddie filled out the form for the baby's birth certificate, listing himself and Richie as the baby's parents. "There, now you're officially a Kaspbrak-Tozier, aren't you?" Richie cooed to his son.

He had just handed the baby back to Eddie when there was a knock on the door. Mike's head poked in. "Hi, can we come in?"

"Mike, hey, yeah," Eddie replied. "Come on in."

One by one, the Losers and their offspring filed in.

Olivia ran over to Richie and plopped a small blue giraffe in his lap. "Unca Ichie, we 'bought a 'raffe!" she said.

"You did?" Richie said with faux surprise. "Is that for the baby?"

Olivia nodded.

"Aww well thank you, I'm sure he's going to love it."

"This is Sarah, our surrogate," Eddie gestured toward Sarah with an elbow. "Sarah, this is our rather unconventional family."

"Hi," Sarah said. "It's nice to meet you all."

The Losers all greeted Sarah, inquiring about her well-being before turning their attention to the baby.

"Everyone," Eddie said with a smile, "meet Edwin Richard Kaspbrak-Tozier."

Richie grinned at the collective 'aww' sounds all the adults were making.

"I absolutely love his name, guys," Beverly added then grinned. "Now gimmie my nephew."

Eddie laughed and handed him over, letting Beverly sit.

"Oh my goodness, he's adorable." Beverly looked over at Sarah. "I just want to tell you thank you. You have no idea how much we all appreciate what you've done for Richie and Eddie."

Sarah nodded. "My parents had me via a surrogate, so this is my way of paying it forward."

After everyone had a brief turn to hold Edwin, they gave Richie and Eddie hugs and filed back out silently, careful not to wake Sarah, who had fallen asleep not long before.

"By the way, happy anniversary, you two," Audra whispered as she handed Edwin back to Richie. "Looks like you guys got the ultimate anniversary gift."

She gave Richie and Eddie each a kiss on the cheek, gave Edwin one last touch on his hand, and bade them goodbye before leaving.

Richie adjusted Edwin in order to cradle him in his other arm. "Shit, Eds, in all the excitement about the baby arriving I forgot to tell you you happy anniversary. I was gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed this morning."

Eddie shrugged. "I don't know about you, but to be honest this is way better than anything I had planned in order to celebrate our first anniversary."

Richie couldn't help but smile as he looked down at his and Eddie's child. "Yeah, it really is, isn't it? Audra was right. We really did receive the ultimate anniversary gift today."

Eddie leaned in and gave Richie a sweet kiss. "Happy anniversary, Rich."

"Happy anniversary, Eds."

****************

Richie and Eddie both had cried when they arrived home with Edwin the day after Christmas and saw that everyone's gifts were still under the tree and a freshly-prepared Christmakkah dinner was on the table.

"You guys waited for us?" Eddie sniffled.

"Well, yeah," Ben had replied. "It's not Christmakkah without you guys -- and now Edwin too, of course."

They had eaten, Bill and Mike insisting on taking care of cleanup since the other, 'culinarily capable' adults had taken care of the cooking. "Nope," Bill had said when Eddie protested their refusal for help. "You guys were such a huge help when Audra and I came home from the hospital with Max. The least we can do is repay the favor."

Afterward, when everyone had gathered in the living room to open gifts, Richie had been surprised to see an extra pile of presents next to his and Eddie's.

"You guys all got Edwin something?" he said in awe.

"Of course," Stan had replied as if it were obvious. "Can't let our nephew celebrate his first Christmakkah without gifts."

Now one week later, all the Losers had gone back to their respective lives until the next family gathering in March for Max's birthday.

Richie and Eddie sat quietly on the sofa together, Richie's arm around Eddie's shoulder and Edwin fast asleep in Eddie's arms after his early-evening bottle.

As Eddie snuggled against Richie's side and they both watched Edwin sleep peacefully, Richie reflected on just how complete his life was with his husband and their son. "I love you so much, Eddie," he murmured, turning his head to press a kiss to Eddie's temple. "I'm so lucky that I get to live this life with you."

"I love you too, Richie," Eddie replied. "There's no one else I'd rather spend my life with."

If Richie sent up a prayer of thanks to a magical turtle later that night while his husband and son slumbered near him, well, that would be his secret.

#Reddie #Richie x Eddie #tcrf writes

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 6 years ago

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“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement.

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay!

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”.

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried.

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him.

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #so happy together trailer #oof #tumblr fought me on posting this like 7 times

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girlbookwrm · 6 years ago

Text

AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH

it took us two entire days to watch this, back in whenever we were watching this. I’ve got a Bundle of Papers here in front of me, and the CW Bundle is by far the thickest, and that’s with minimal salt content.

Speaking of Salt: The Roommate and I had to approach this as an Avengers movie. Because otherwise the salt levels in this would be toxic, possibly fatal. Even so, ppl with high cholesterol be warned

LET’S DO THIS

1991!

Winter Soldier:

what is this

what is this please

dat beef tho

what is this op sec

honestly

NO mask

SHINY FUCKOFF ARM just HANGING OUT

CCTV???

~ooooooo he’s a ghooooooooooooost~

he’s got an extremely dedicated and very harried cleanup crew is what he’s got

OH! OLD LOGO ILU!!!

LAGOS!!

The Roommate: That’s a lot of sugar

i ain’t judging

what, you think her powers run on optimism?

is there an accent? is there not? Shroedinger’s accent.

droney the drone

sam’s lil sky roomba

i love him

guhhhh this scene every line shows character and growth and i just *clenches fist*

did

did falcon just throw steve

just yeeted him at the enemy?

god i love that

also: has steve bulked up since TWS?

that’s also on Sam, yeah?

CUT THE CHEEEEECCCCK

is this fucking NEUROTOXIN? STEVE WHERE’S UR MASK?

Steve, throwing himself into a room full of an unknown poison gas without a mask: I bet i can survive this

Bucky, in Bucharest: *breaks whatever he’s holding without knowing why*

god i love sam

“I don’t work like that no more” Means ?????????????

PARKOUR NAT

is also BRUNCH MOM NAT

“both grunting” is always one of my favorite subtitles

2 white boys fighting in the middle of the street like it’s a video game

god someone took the murder strut to heart wow that is some. that is some something that’s for sure.

give me even one (1) heterosexual explanation for "your pal your buddy your bucky"

there’s no way that bucky ever said this, right? this is just Rumlow fucking with steve, and the screenwriters fucking with us

because IN CASE YOU WERE NOT IN THIS FANDOM IN 2016, WE ALL THOUGHT CAP WOULD DIE IN THIS MOVIE

WE WERE SO SURE

wow i wonder if that will be relevant to anyone’s emotions here in the year of our lordt 2019

anyway, what bucky actually said was:

“please tell rogers... that he’s a big dumb dildo and he should wear a gas mask and also a parachute.”

listen i love this opening scene but also wanda is not at all responsible for this explosion and the fact that they act like she is undermines my ability to suspend my disbelief.

DIGITAL ENYOUTHENMENT ALERT

also, tony the fact that you are using your literal dead mom as an actual therapist is

wow

BARF feels right to me

too real, tony

it’s too real

how ARE you getting around the strings and taxes tho

Also can i say that i actually love that Pepper’s absence is this profoundly important to the story. The hole where pepper should be is a huge part of this story and i like that. i like that a lot.

WOW THAT EXTRA IS LIKE A MASHUP OF NAT AND WANDA. SHE IS THE GENERIC MARVEL WHITE LADY

more a+ visual storytelling with the elevator

I’m just so mad that they blame wanda and play that straight?

all they had to do was outright acknowledge one (1) time that the media is picking on her because she’s a woman/a foreigner

imagine that speech coming from nat instead of steve

though i do love Steve’s pep talk

again. give me one (1) heterosexual explanation

though why not have Steve say “they’re just bullies, you did the right thing” and hearken back to smolsteeb

The Roommate: Remember how i was mad at his Oscars Velvet Blazer? I am also mad at this sweater.... it looks... so soft... i don’t know if i want it on him or off him... just wanna tuch....... and wear..........?”

Vision’s Ascot is. Something else man.

The Roommate: Why is ross secretary of state?

Me: Why is Trump President

Me: I bet Ross is vegan

the roommate, who has vegan-related trauma: UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH

Nat's reaction to vigilantes: Bitch please. she is Unbothered.

you don’t have to show us footage we’ve got the ptsd nightmares

400 pages in 3 days

[tired american sighing]

we honestly can’t even criticize this plot point anymore just

[my longest and most american sigh]

CLEVELAND!!!

hail hydra continues to be the Most Terrible last words

but WHY does ross have the congressional medal of honor

do you know how HARD it is to get one of those????

yeesh

sassy black friends sassing at each other

is definitely a

thing that is happening rn

Vision: Well Actually

no one cares, vis

ok like

a kid is dead but

3.6 is an okay GPA

maybe all my friends are overachievers

maybe it’s just because most of them are women but like

it’s an okay GPA

i’d have 8000% more respect for Tony if he was more upfront like “look this is on me” especially here

are we supposed to be picking all this up as subtext, actually?

because i know that this movie ALSO had a Troubled Youth ala ant man

and i really do appreciate the Russos for relying on a smart audience but there’s a lot going on

and it’s very obvious to me that they had to shift gears 18,000 times in the script writing phase

so like, you’ve got old man vet steve

but it’s painfully obvious that he missed vietnam right?

it’s painfully obvious

and he’s v egotistical and self righteous too

it IS a battle of the egos

and no one is right

except natasha

Steve: i have to go

me: mood

LONDON!!!!

oh god

oh god no

steve god no steve oh god

gfhskfdjjjksjdjjhrrrrhrhhrhfhh [wailing and rending of garments]

Re Peggy’s age:

SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE

so the True Hallmark of a Cap Movie is Peggy telling steve what to do.

so weird to have that in an avengers movie

i do love this. GOOD BRO NAT CONTENT

Um. is vision a minor? is wanda?

again, nat is the only Correct one here

stay together guys

it might be

reeeeeeaaaaally important in

*checks watch*

two years’ time.

~hug~

VIENNA!!!!!

CHAD WICK! CHAD! WICK! CHAD! WICK!

god i love the xhosa in this

There is a level of worldbuilding in this that we p much only get from the russos/markus&mcfeely. i mean -- internal consistency worldbuilding? if that makes sense? we get a lot of visual worldbuilding in black panther, but this is distinctly different and hard to articulate and it has to do with the way they approach things and how they assume audience intelligence

it just works for me

oh no chadwick boseman don’t be cry

Sharon deserves better

than being cockblocked by her own aunt

and also sam wilson (who also deserves better)

cryptid!bucky

Nat did you get that suit from jenny agutter?

LA Brunch Mom Nat

mah girl

she’s just so tired

steve (bless him) is just so exhausting

couples date sam and steve dressed to match

“at the gym”??? really? the arm is... a bit of a giveaway

i do feel bad for zemo in this one specific case

russian IS hard

how. did he get that in there?

Soft Plumboy Bucky

BEEF

Captain’s Log: Buck’s place is a shithole

Sergeant’s Log: Steve’s face is pretty

surprise bitch

“That’s Smart, Good Strategy” is an excellent phrase to use in everyday conversation in order to weed out who Knows and who Doesn’t.

What i have learned from civil war:

Captain America is a projectile weapon

further query:

did bucky ever hurl small steve at assailants?

Bucky: *punts steve down an alley*

Steve, 90 lbs of rage at 90 mph: GET WRECKED

Bucky’s got big tommy wiseau cryptid energy here

And now there’s a cat

bucky:

I love this vampire running and also bucky’s thighs

Steve Rogers: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YEET.

Bucky Barnes: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YOINK.

Bucky and Steve: Wrecking your morning commute since 2014

WAR MACHINE!!!

god vis has the biggest dorkiest crush

so vis are you a child prodigy? or? what?

The Roommate, a cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure: vis have you eaten anything between CW and IW?

Me, sinnamon roll, not to be trusted: *dying* *thinking about how Vision’s got schroedinger’s dick. does it exist? does it not exist? who knows.*

Me: Y. Yes. I th. think he has. eaten something. between now and. and IW. something.

The Roommate: *betrayed look*

Me: DEEP FRIED KEBAB MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW.

The Roommate: *is so disappointed*

BERLIN!!!!!!

Bucky is. So tired. Let him rest.

fucking up the morning commute again i see

u like cats??

I love the ratio of overkill:ineffectiveness with this glass box they put him in.

why did tony bring these fancy pens

the time spent explaining them could’ve been spent doing literally anything else

*i still don’t understand the accords*

GOD STEVE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE SO BAD

“my fault”

there it is

“truth is i don’t want to stop”

THERE it is

“i thought the accords could split the difference”

THERE IT IS

"no, i don’t.”

THERE IT IS

“IT’S INTERNMENT.”

THERE! IT! IS!

gah.

wanda’s accent et al -- MAKE IT EXPLICIT MARVEL YOU COWARDS

no but really what are the accords

here followed a 20-30 minute convo about the accords

basically the summing up was:

Nat is 100% Right Ross is 100% Wrong Everyone Else is In A Grey Area

look this is actually a really good avengers movie

but

this is a moment when the back catalogue works against them because this conversation is so -- it implies a lot of friendly interactions between these two. they seem to have a relationship

but i keep looking at all the other movies they’ve interacted in like

BITCH WHERE? WHERE IS THE TONYSTEVE FRIENDSHIP? WHERE???

i am anticipating this will cause me A Grief later

The Roommate, looking at Steve in his Grey Shirt and Jacket: Damn, sir. Stop wearing clothes.

“BIRD COSTUME???”

“j a m e s”

big holt talking to rosa vibes there

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

A VAST AND MIGHTY MOOD

Zemo’s plan is so ridiculous i genuinely don’t have time to get into it i still have two pages of notes to get through holy shit.

this fight scene. does things. for me.

hhhHNNNNHGH BEEFSTEAK

(oh tony left with no suit? growth dot gif)

THIGHS

T H I G H S ! ! ! !

CHADWICK!

Sam out here, serving looks, casually modeling

B I C E P S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

TOO SEXY! *crashes helicopter*

I need twelve more scenes of steve and bucky faffing about in the water.

A more effective restraint than the custom made bucky bottle

(BRIEF 1991)

haaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAa biceps u stop that

Is Tony having a heart attack???

he has no concept of how to treat children because he never was one oh no i gave myself a sad feeling

QUEENS!!!!!!!

“I’m having a big fight in a parking lot with my superhero friends better go pick up a child as backup.” - tony stark

tony he doesn’t have a passport and if he understood what was happening he would not be on your side

Now That’s What I Call Vigilantism.

Why are you bringing a CHILD to a gun fight

Tony’s face, to me, suggests that he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing

also? it’s painfully obvious to me that these scenes were copypasted in late stage when they finally found out that yes they would have the rights to spiderman lol

for some reason they don’t feel the need to tell is that this is avengers compound in 400 point font

i’m so lost

where are we?

without the 400 point font i can only assume we are on mars

THAT’s a fine way to greet YOUR FATHER, WANDA

hawkeye is in fact the team lynchpin

is it

ugh

is it because they listen to him but he listens to natasha

ugh

i bet it is

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Vision: I have been FALLING! for THIRTY MINUTES!

“i know someone who does”

i’m confused by the cut here, because it seems to imply that Sharon, deliberately or inadvertently, rats them out to natasha?

Birds and raccoons do not get along

steve

steve no

steve

ur timing is shit steve

Scott Lang might be the best thing in this movie

well except for Dat Bone Structure

CUT THE CHEEEEEECK

*costume change in a parking lot to the yakkety sax soundtrack*

Thinking about the coming battle i am forced to concede that Iron Man Has A Point?

“do you really want to punch your way out of this?”

Steve: I ALWAYS wanna punch my way out

god scott’s such a fukkin nerd

tiny quibble but Scott “got punched by hope van dyne” lang would never say that to the black heckin widow

“gimmick”

people in falcon houses shouldn’t throw spider stones, samuel

wanda

those cars belong to people

oh god iron man has a point

LET’S GO LESBIANS! COME ON LESBIANS LET’S GO

*catfight sounds*

“then why did you run?”

dude you attacked me in a catsuit

Tony’s true superpower is that he knows steve, that’s how spiderbabby gets the upper hand

althought god

Tony was pre-gaslighting peter

he was pilotlighting peter

*my longest UGH yet*

“Queens?” “Brooklyn”

MAXIMUM NEW YORK ACHIEVED

ant man is the MVP

hmmmmmm “we don’t trade lives” HMMMMMMMMM

why did that truck explode

also *omg iron man has a point*

tony tedward stark how did you not know how old this child was

also peter stop pretending you don’t know what Empire Strikes Back, AT-ATs and Hoth are.

why doesn’t Vis get more flack for this

hey. hey tony. you know what sam is? A MEDIC. maybe let him LOOK AT YER FRIEND THERE instead of SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE.

zemo’s plan is noooooonseeeeennnnnnsssse

guh these two beautiful men emoting in different directions KILL ME

this doctor is just like “yup there’s a giant purple robot here seems legit”

natasha is the only one who’s 100% right

did... did the russos kill themselves in this movie? did they cast themselves as dead extras? was this a statement of some kind?

HOW did ross get the congressional medal of honor. H O W.

“you read it”

NO ONE READ IT, IT’S 400 PAGES

tony this is Some Nonsense

ffflslkds he’s taking one of Nat’s guns KILL ME

one (1) heterosexual explanation.

rode back in a freezer truck

got pneumonia

already had pneumonia

and you blew three whole dollars on some slut

(seriously. gimme one. i’m waiting.)

srsly tho, whether you ship it or not, these two are old marrieds

the red star looks weird on his beefcake arm. did they forget to scale it up?

KITTY

listen zemo is just really turned on by cam and he didn’t mean to say that and that’s the most relateable thing he’s done so far.

It’s not just that bucky killed his mom. it’s that bucky killed his mom AND STEVE KEPT IT FROM HIM.

life alert a senior citizen has fallen

T'Challa, observing this White Nonsense™: I truly should... check myself. Before! I wreck myself.

agism is what it is

god this bit

steve dropping the shield

look at him

he is Stick A Fork In Him D O N E

Rhodey really deserves better than this? He deserves development showing the evolution of his opinion between here and IW

i wish we could get more of him grappling with this

that said

gosh wouldn’t it fucking suck if Cap and Bucky got relegated to End Credit scenes in their own got damn movie to make room for Iron Man to emote at his buddy his pal his rhodey?

*looks directly into the camera like i’m on the office.*

Anyway.

Steve rogers: getting the last word in every argument since 1918.

“from the bottom of my heart: My Bad.”

#The Mighty Pre Endgame Rewatch #cacw

54 notes · View notes

kanasmusings · 6 years ago

Text

[Translation] QUELL “Matchless People” Bonus Track

Here’s the bonus track that comes with Matchless People~ I don’t actually remember if it’s a pre-order bonus thing or if it’s from a joint purchase bonus XD And sorry if this took a bit longer to publish. I got distracted with all the VAZZROCK stuff lmao.

Thank you again to Deea for the files~! Please don’t ask her for them as per her request and please don’t ask if I’ll be sharing mine as well, thank you ^^

※ Please don’t re-post these translations without permission. Instead of reposting, please just like/reblog instead ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

[Bonus Track – Mini Drama]

[0:00]

ICHIRU: Eichi…! Eichi, wake up.

ICHIRU: Eichi!

EICHI: Hm… What? Is something wrong…?

ISSEI: (chuckles) We just arrived at the reception area.

EICHI: Ah… I see… (stretches)

SHU: You seem sleepy. You don’t have to get up if you don’t want to.

EICHI: Mm-mm, I’m fine. I’ll go with you. I’m feeling thirsty, too, anyway.

(they get off the vehicle)

EICHI: (stretches)

ICHIRU: Woah, amazing! This is so huge!

ISSEI: There are still a lot of shops open even at night!

ICHIRU: Something smells delicious~! Ahhh, I suddenly got hungry!

SHU: It looks like we still have some time so… Want to go take a look for a bit?

ICHIRU: Let’s go! Ah, but before that… Bathroom!

(Ichiru runs off)

ISSEI: Ah, Ichiru, wait! I’ll go with you.

EICHI: The staff who came with us are all sleeping in the bus and yet they’re so full of energy, huh?

SHU: Yeah. You wouldn’t think that they did a lot of performances for an outdoor live.

EICHI: They were both in perfect condition today, weren’t they~?

SHU: They looked like they were really enjoying themselves.

EICHI: They’ve gotten used to being on site lately. The live’s stage was also spacious so it helped ease their nerves. Even I felt good about it.

EICHI: It was like our song was being taken to the sky.

EICHI: SQ and ALIVE… It was fun doing a joint activity, huh~? It was like a festival.

EICHI: Things didn’t stop even in the rain.

SHU: We were worrying about what would happen during rehearsals but… we were really fortunate.

SHU: We have to do our best with our other activities so we can do things like this again.

EICHI: Yep~

[02:09]

(Eichi drinks)

EICHI: (sighs) Ah~ That hits the spot~

ICHIRU: Look, Issei! That menchi-katsu looks so delicious~!

ICHIRU: No, wait… Maybe the hotdog is more…

ISSEI: Ah! They have soft serve ice cream, too.

ICHIRU: Really?!

(Ichiru approaches Eichi)

ICHIRU: Eichi, stop drinking water. Let’s go eat something.

EICHI: Icchi’s so energetic, huh~?

ISSEI: Eichi, are you tired?

EICHI: U-uh… A little bit… Maybe my body’s going soft…?

EICHI: Back when I was an AD, I used to help with scheduling, the filming… I even work as an assistant during the main show, and even the cleaning up but, I never really felt that tired afterwards…

ICHIRU: Maybe you’re getting old~?

EICHI: Wait right there. That was just three years ago!

EICHI: And even if we consider all that, I’m still in my 20’s!

SHU: I’m sure there’s a different kind of nervousness with your new activities that it can’t be helped.

EICHI: Shu is so nice~

EICHI: But, at this rate… I’ll feel conflicted because I’m the only one tired.

ISSEI: Maybe you’ll feel better if you eat something.

ISSEI: You don’t have to chew ice cream so I think it’ll be easy to eat even when you’re tired.

EICHI: Y-yeah. Th-that’s fine with me but… that kinda makes me sound like an old man, huh…

SHU: But, it’s true that sweet things help make you feel better.

ISSEI: It raises blood sugar after all.

ISSEI: I got a bit curious about the melon bread advertised on the homepage, too.

ICHIRU: Eh, there was something like that?!

(Issei looks through his phone)

ISSEI: Here, see?

ICHIRU: (Ichiru starts reading from Issei’s phone) “The service area is a five-star gourmet…”

ICHIRU: It’s true! Even the melon bread looks so good!

ISSEI: But, it looks like this store is already closed.

ICHIRU: Ehhhhh?!

EICHI: I see. That’s a bit disappointing, huh?

SHU: It is late at night after all.

ISSEI: Let’s go eat some when we get the chance next time. For now, let’s think of this as something to look forward to next time.

ICHIRU: “Next time?” You mean, like with the live? But, we won’t know when we’ll get to go again, huh?

EICHI: This service area’s not that far from Tokyo and it might be kinda fun to visit it just to play, you know?

ICHIRU: Oh, I see! We can come here for fun, too!

SHU: It’s fun to do something just for the sake of a trip and not just work.

EICHI: Okay, I’ve decided! I’ll go with ice cream for today.

EICHI: The others I’ll just, you know, look forward to for next time, too!

ICHIRU: Eh, what about the menchi-katsu?

EICHI: Um… I don’t think that going with something oily would be a good idea.

ICHIRU: See? I knew you were getting old.

EICHI: No, I’m not!

SHU: It seems like we’ve decided what to buy so let’s go and get them and head home.

ISSEI: What will you get, Shu?

SHU: Mine is… Let me see… Maybe a meat bun.

EICHI: Oh, you like meat buns?

SHU: I don’t think that I dislike them.

ISSEI: Hm? What do you mean?

SHU: When it turns to winter—Ah, no… Lately, it’s been happening during summer, too.

SHU: They sell it at convenience stores a lot, don’t they? I’ve always been curious about that.

ICHIRU: I knew this might be the case but… You’ve never had them before?

SHU: Actually, yes. I keep getting nervous whenever I go alone so…

EICHI: No way, Shu…! It’s a staple winter food! A convenience store meat bun being sold at night!

EICHI: Say something about it sooner~!

ISSEI: He’s right. If we knew, we could’ve come with you to buy some.

SHU: (chuckles) So, it’s that much of a big deal, huh? Sorry, I just remembered it now.

ICHIRU: Shu is really… He’s really weird about some things or rather—he’s just ignorant of some things or—Ahhh!! We keep saying “meat bun this” or “meat bun that” that I feel like eating some, too!

ISSEI: What about the menchi-katsu and the hotdog?

ICHIRU: I wanna eat them both, too! Wait—Is that too much?

SHU: You should eat them if you’re really hungry.

SHU: We just had a really big event. Eating that much is probably not much of a problem.

ICHIRU: (chuckles) Then, I’ll have some~

SHU: (brings out a credit card) Use this card to pay for everyone’s—

ICHIRU: Don’t need it, don’t need it. We can buy stuff like these ourselves.

(Ichiru walks off to buy the food)

ICHIRU: (to the vendor) Um, excuse me! One menchi-katsu, one hotdog, and one meat bun, please~!

[06:40]

EICHI: (chuckles) Icchi looks like he’s having fun~

ISSEI: Shu. Thank you for offering some money.

ISSEI: But, since Ichiru enjoys being able to pay for things with his own money, I’m sure he appreciates the gesture.

EICHI: Ah! I think I understand that feeling! Like, paying for a yakisoba from a food cart with your pocket money makes it even more delicious, right?!

ISSEI: Yeah. It has a different but special feeling since it’s at night, too.

SHU: I see. I understand now. It seems like I did something inelegant.

EICHI: Speaking of… I wonder how much I have left in my wallet…

EICHI: Ah, I know~ I’ll pay for it using my phone.

SHU: You can do something like that?

EICHI: You can if you register your credit card on your smartphone.

ISSEI: Ah! I’ve always thought of trying that. Do you think a minor can do it, too?

EICHI: Hm… I dunno. Let’s look it up later.

SHU: I’m curious about it, too. Teach me how to do it next time.

EICHI: Of course~ That would be no problem.

ISSEI: Shu learned a lot of new things today~

SHU: You’re right. It seems like my dream of eating a meat bun is about to come true, too.

EICHI: And here I thought that I had an idea what you all like but—A meat bun, huh?

EICHI: That was an unexpected blind spot…!

ISSEI: (chuckles) I’m glad you liked it.

ICHIRU: Hey! What’re you guys doing?

ISSEI: Oh, Ichiru’s calling for us. Let’s go to him.

EICHI: Yep~

(Eichi and Issei go run to Ichiru)

ICHIRU: Ah…! I can’t hold all three of these! Eichi, pass!

EICHI: (flustered) W-w-wait…!

ISSEI: Alright, I’ll hold the two ice creams.

SHU: (to himself) I’m sure that anything will taste delicious as long as I’m eating with all of you.

[08:37]

ICHIRU: (sighs) I’m so full~

EICHI: …! You finished them all already?!

ICHIRU: That much is no biggie~!

EICHI: Maybe it really is youth…

ICHIRU: Oh? (with a teasing tone) You’re finally admitting it?

EICHI: …! This is…. kinda frustrating…!

ISSEI: It’s your turn next, Shu~

SHU: Then… How about this?

(Shu puts a card down)

ISSEI: Then… I’ll go with this.

SHU: I see.

ICHIRU: Who’s um… winning right now?

SHU: It’s Issei.

ISSEI: I lost a while ago so I’m gonna win this time~

EICHI: They’re both strong so really, it’s a very tough battle.

SHU: I agree. Issei’s pretty strong, huh.

ICHIRU: I knew it~

EICHI: So Issei’s good at playing cards, huh?

ISSEI: Am I? I do like it though.

ICHIRU: By the way, the worst kind of card game to play with Issei is Concentration! (1)

ICHIRU: He remembers where all the cards are after seeing them only once so you can never win!

EICHI: Ahhh…! Issei’s memorization skills are amazing after all!

ISSEI: But, Ichiru has really great luck. Once he’s on a roll, he can get matches even if he doesn’t memorize them so it’s hard to win against him.

ICHIRU: Mine is really just luck though~

SHU: That means, if you two are paired, you’d definitely be invincible.

EICHI: That composure of yours is really something, too, Shu.

EICHI: By the way, my strong point is playing tactics when it comes to a one-on-one game~

ICHIRU: Oh, so you’re the type who can make the opponent draw the queen card in a game of Old Maid, huh?

EICHI: Exactly, that’s how it is.

ICHIRU: That’s so like you! You seem like the type who’ll smile when someone gets the old maid.

EICHI: Eh?! Is that the impression I give off?

ISSEI: (chuckles) Should we play with all four of us after we’re done with this?

SHU: Issei, wait. The match is just beginning. I won’t lose that easily, you know?

ICHIRU: Eh~? Can you turn it to your favour in this case?

EICHI: Shu, show me your cards for a bit~

EICHI: Ah… Hm… This really makes you conflicted, huh?

SHU: Yeah. I’m deciding whether I want to throw this one down of if I want to put the other one down.

EICHI: Uh… This one—Ah, no… Maybe this one…? Ah, I guess we can just leave this one to luck, huh?

SHU: Right? By the way, my winning chances are low if it’s left to chance.

SHU: I’m a lot worse with luck.

EICHI: U-uh… Even if you tell me that, I—

ICHIRU: (chuckles) Doing things like this sometimes is fun, huh~?

ALL: (laughs)

[11:13]

ICHIRU: Alright, then… This one! (Ichiru puts a card down)

EICHI: AH!! So you’ll really go for that, huh? Um… If I put this down… no, that won’t be good… what about this one…?

EICHI: Ah, this is no good…! It’s my loss no matter what happens…!

ICHIRU: It’s not over, you know? Don’t give up halfway.

EICHI: I mean, this is basically impossible, you know?

ICHIRU: Don’t care, just throw whatever down. You might win!

EICHI: Then… here… (Eichi puts a card down)

ICHIRU: (laughs) It’s my win!

EICHI: See?! I told you so!

ISSEI: Um… That gives Ichiru one point. I have three and Shu also has three.

EICHI: You guys are just too good!

ICHIRU: Your face gives it away so much~

EICHI: Alright, one more! Ah—But it looks like we’re getting closer to Tokyo.

ICHIRU: Eh? Already?

EICHI: We’ll be there a bit after we get past the highway. Maybe we should start packing our things up.

ISSEI: I wanted to play just a bit longer though…

EICHI: It was fun, huh? Let’s all do it again next time.

ISSEI: Okay. Then, I’ll put the cards away.

(Issei starts putting the cards away)

ICHIRU: I’m kinda feeling hungry~

EICHI: Eh…?! Again?

ISSEI: Playing cards was fun, huh? Don’t you think so, Shu?

ISSEI: Shu?

SHU: Hm? Ah…

ISSEI: Were you sleeping by any chance?

SHU: I just dozed off for a bit. I’m fine now. What’s wrong?

ISSEI: We’re almost to Tokyo.

SHU: I see. Time flew by so fast, huh?

ISSEI: It did. Time really does fly so fast when we’re having fun.

SHU: You’re right. But, there’s still a next time.

SHU: The same goes for us playing cards again, going to the service area again, and even having another live.

ISSEI: (smiles) If there’s a next time then, that doesn’t make me so sad.

SHU: Yeah, it’s something to look forward to.

ISSEI: (chuckles) Shu~ You’re getting too excited.

SHU: (chuckles) I’m just impatient.

ISSEI: (smiles) Oh right, you said so before.

[13:33]

(they all walk back in the dorm)

EICHI: We’re home.

(Eichi puts the bags down)

EICHI: It’s really reassuring coming back to the dorms, huh?

EICHI: Today—Ah, no. Thank you very much for your hard work at the live and rehearsals these past two days.

SHU: Yeah, great work.

ISSEI: To you, too.

ICHIRU: (stretches) Now that we’re home, I feel like I’m getting tired.

SHU: We all did our best and it turned into a good live. I want you to rest easy tomorrow.

ISSEI: Do you have work tomorrow, Shu?

SHU: Yeah, but it’s not particularly early so there’s no need to worry.

EICHI: I’m gonna go make some tea right now. Would you guys like some?

ICHIRU: I do!

ISSEI: I want some, too.

SHU: Me, too. But, I think I’ll go take a light shower first.

EICHI: Okay~ Then, I’ll go get them ready.

ISSEI: Eichi, do you want me to help?

EICHI: It’s okay, I’ll do it. Issei, go on and sit down.

ICHIRU: Hey, Issei. Do you think the live’s reports are already up on the net?

ISSEI: Ah, they might be. Let’s look.

(Eichi quietly brings the tea over)

EICHI: Sorry for the wait~ Ah—

SHU: Eichi, sorry for letting you do—

EICHI: Shh…

SHU: Hm?

EICHI: (whispering) Look.

(Issei and Ichiru quietly breathing in their sleep)

SHU: (smiles) They must have felt at ease after coming back to the dorms.

EICHI: (chuckles) It’s like they ran out of batteries.

EICHI: Ah but, what should we do? Maybe letting them rest on the bed is better…

SHU: They’re sleeping so soundly. I’d feel bad if we woke them up.

EICHI: Ah, I know! Then, maybe I should lay a futon out and sleep here, too~

SHU: If you’re going to do that then, let me join in, too.

EICHI: Eh? But you have work tomorrow, right? Will that be okay for you?

EICHI: Maybe the bed would be—

SHU: Don’t leave me out, please.

EICHI: Ah, no, no. That’s not what I was—

ICHIRU: (sleep-talking) ‘Scuse me… One hotdog and melon bread, please…

ISSEI: (sleep-talking) Ichiru…

EICHI: (lets out a strained breath) I thought we woke them up…

EICHI: (whispering) Okay. Then, I’ll go quietly bring some futon here.

(Eichi slowly walks away)

SHU: (to himself) Things I only saw in my imagination are all becoming true every day, huh.

SHU: Thank you, really. Good night.

==END==

Translator’s Notes:

(1) I uh... Don’t really know if I should consider this a translator’s note because it’s mostly just me not knowing anything about a card game. I didn’t know what the game “Shinkei-suijaku” would be called in other countries (not just in general) because this is legit the first time I’ve actually heard of it orz

It’s basically a card game where you place cards face down on a table and you try to make pairs match. I just went with “Concentration” because I think that is the most common translation for it. It’s also called “Pairs” or “Match Up” or other stuff but “Concentration” was apparently more popular???

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work if you want. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

#quell #quell translations #my translations #tsukipro #drama cd #yay~ now i'm only waiting for more tsukipro releases XD #shu is really just precious about his family in this drama track #he just loves them so much!! T_T #kazokuberu is too much for my heart!!

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

Text

Survey #221

“god is making fun of me; he’s up there laughing, i can see.”

What type of toothpaste do you use? Crest. What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? b l a c k Are you sexually active? No. Do you have sensitive skin? I guess? Are you egotistical? I have the self-esteem of like... a blobfish. Do you have an older sister? Multiple. Favorite song by Owl City? I like "Fireflies" and "Hot Air Balloon." What color is your mum’s car? White. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? In the hallway that connects the bathroom and kitchen. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? I AM MUCH MUCH LIGHTER. My dad is really dark-skinned from being a mailman for all my life. Always being outside does it. His arms especially are really really tan from sticking them out the window. Do you like apricots? Noooo. Do you like kinky sex? Never tried anything kinky before, so wouldn't know. What country were you born in? The U.S.A. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? LIQUID. Bar soap grosses me out, even though it's... yeah, soap. Like multiple people (if you live with others, anyway) are rubbing that on their body, no thanks. Do you believe being gay is a choice or a “disorder”? Neither; I believe it's a mutation. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhh jaybirds... cardinals... bald eagles... crows, ravens... vultures... peacocks... Victoria crowned pigeons... barn owls, horned owls, snowy owls... probably others. There's so many, I'm not musing over it forever. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? I don't live in a "neighborhood." But you see lots of crows in this area. If you don’t understand a reference in something, do you look it up? Sometimes. Depends on what it is, how interesting it is. Are you the kind of person to look at accident sites, when passing them by? Morbid curiosity gets the better of me here. Did you ever make dolls or hand puppets in primary/elementary school? Yeah. When you were little, what sorts of make belief did you play? Y'ALL I did the weirdest shit. I remember I loved mimicking A Bug's Life by taking a leaf and placing things like seeds and stuff on it, my little sister and I enjoyed "cooking" with plastic food and our oven set, we liked playing house with friends, OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HOW WE USED TO LOVE BEING MERMAIDS IN THE POOL, uhhh. Idr, there's other stuff for sure. I was really creative as a kid and loved playing make believe. Has a friend’s parent ever given you a present just because? I don't think "just because." What do you do with clothes you can’t wear anymore? We donate them, give them away to friends if they like something, or, when it comes to our favorite shirts, my mom has actually been working on creating a big blanket out of them since we were kids. I hope she finishes before her time's up. What is something you’re very particular about? How my food is prepared. What is your dearest stuffed animal that you own? Why is that? My moose Brownie from Cabela's in Ohio. I ALWAYS slept hugging him as a little kid and even teenager until Jason got me Rebel the meerkat. He's still on my dresser. Name something awesome from another culture that is not part of yours: Oh man, idk. When at a Chinese or Japanese restaurant, do you use chopsticks? I have pretty intense tremors. I could NEVER use chopsticks. What’s something you can’t wait for about growing old? Um, nothing? Nothing about being elderly seems fun. How do you expect your life to go like? How are you ensuring that? Ideally, it would be defined by contentment and success. I want to know financial peace, stability, and pride in what I've accomplished. I'm trying my damnedest to ensure this by going back to school, trying as hard as I can to push my photography, and work on my mental health. Or do you just wing it as you go? NO. I've always had plans and goals, and I act on the desire to achieve them. The only time I was truly "winging it" was during my suicidal depression phase after the breakup. I was literally too busy wanting to die but being too afraid to and so lost and hopeless that I didn't know what to do. What’s a yard game that you still enjoy playing as an adult? Hunny I don't go outside rip. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Portuguese man-o-war, probably. They don't have a fucking brain yet are alive????? And deadly as a mfer????? How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Sleep. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Well, shacks. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some anime. What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend? I don't think I have a set "favorite" way. What’s your “Death Row Meal”? I mean, it'd depend on what I wanted at the time? Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home? I strongly prefer going to the theater. Don't really know why, though... I guess the setting, being in the dark and watching on a huge screen? When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not? Yeah. I've never minded crust. What activity instantly calms you? Car rides where I can blare my music. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday? It'd depend on what I was up for that day. But definitely doing things with friends and family. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard? Idk. I don't really like traditional jokes. Be witty. What’s the career highlight you’re most proud of? Ha. Do you think you’ll stay at your current company awhile? Why or why not? N/A How would your 10-year-old self react to what you do? That's like the most depressing thought possible lmao. What do you remember most about your first job? The fact I can't do customer service. All I remember is the anxiety. Did you start working immediately after finishing school? Why or why not? No. I just wasn't ready. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? I lasted two hours in a deli in a constant state of panic. Guess. What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made? Going back to school for a degree. What’s the worst career decision you’ve ever made? Trying the deli. How much time do you spend with your family? Like... none, almost ever. We all live in different places. Who do you most like spending time with and why? In my family? My mom, because we relate on a lot and just generally get along. Were you close with your family growing up? My immediate family, yes. How do you define your family now? Distant. What traits are most important to you in your family members? Being accepting and open-minded. And supportive. Who are you the closest to and why? My mom. I live with her and she's supported and loved me through everything. Do you want a family of your own? Why does "family" always have to mean including kids? I don't want any. I just want my s/o and pets. What’s your favorite family tradition? We don't really have any anymore. If you could change your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, with whom? Yes, with my oldest sister. She pretty much disowned me at one point, we reconnected, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me again. We are VERY similar according to Mom, so it'd be nice to be close with her, but. What’s your favorite family memory? As a family... uh. Idk. Probably some times we were all in the pool together when my parents were still together, having fun. What TV family most reminds you of your own? *shrugs* Do you ever wish you were raised differently? In some ways, yes. Chores absolutely needed to be more enforced. What’s the best piece of advice a family member has given you? Idk, I'm sure something my mom said about moving on from things. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why? I wish I had a little brother, but one I was still relatively close in age with. I would've rocked that protective big sister over slightly-younger bro jazz. It would've been cool to have another kid to play with, especially a guy instead of a relatively girly-girl; not trying to make any pre-judgments about an imaginary kid, but you get it. Stereotypes and all. It would've been nice to have a more boyish sibling. Did you ever hide anything from or lie to your parents? Yeah. If you had a family business, what would it be? That would never happen in my family. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other? Nothing out of the ordinary; ex. they usually just call me "Britt," but it's clear and reasonable why. What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family? I mean it varies. My parents are divorced and best apart so we're never really "together" unless we're at my older sister's house for birthday parties or holidays. That's the only time we're really *all* together. How do you show your family you love them? Always being there to listen or offer a signature bearhug. Have you ever been to a family reunion? Noooo, our extended family is littered all throughout the country. What’s the most important holiday you spend with your family and why? Christmas. It just reminds me of being a kid again. Who in your family would you describe as a “character”? Ho boy, my grandma. It's hurting lately to think of her as a "character" now though, seeing as she's dying of cancer now. She starts chemo soon, but this one's a death sentence regardless. It's spread too much. My relationship with her is strained and difficult, but I care for her nonetheless, and I worry that I'm really going to feel it all crash when she dies and I probably won't be there due to distance and school. What’s something your family would be surprised to learn about you? Shit, my family doesn't know most big things about me, I think; not because they don't care, but because I'm embarrassed of hobbies and interests and thus secretive. Only my mom knows mostly everything. I guess more than anything, uhhh... I'm no longer a Christian? I was raised religious, so most probably just assume I still am, and I don't just go around talking about how I dropped my faith. Which family member do you confide in most? Mom. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want? Sight, I think. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend? A friendly, likable personality. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Oh wow, not since... around my birthday in February. The last person to say they loved you? Mom. Last thing received in the mail? For me, school textbooks. Do you have any famous relatives? Only ancestors. I consider "relatives" different/closer. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Have you ever been searched by the cops? It was either staff or police who did so the numerous times I went into the hospital and ER for my mental state. Are you any good at math? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? No. Well, I think. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life? Yes. Have you gone to college/uni? What is/was your major? I'm in college now! My major in this school is organismal biology because they don't have zoology. I'm getting what I need here and then going to a university for zoology. What color is your best friend’s hair? Brown. Where were you going the last time you were a passenger in a car? Yesterday otw home from school. Have you ever dated someone who had a kid from a previous relationship? No, and I wouldn't. What was the last event that was a turning point in your life? Going back to school! :') What’s your favorite setting in nature? (mountains, beach, desert, etc…) M O U N T A I N S M O T H E R F U C K E R What hair color is most common in your family? BROWN. Almost everyone is brown-haired. For how long has your favorite band been your favorite? Damn, it's been Ozzy Osbourne since 6th or 7th grade, and I'm 23 now. He probably always will be. I'm hopefully seeing him next year and I'm!!!!!!!! not!!!!!!!!!! prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any photos on your refrigerator? What are they of? Yeah. There's numerous of my older sister and her fam, plus my grandmother and her husband. Maybe others, idr. What color are the pillows on your couch? We don't have pillows on there. Have you ever gone more than 5 years without going to the dentist? No. My mom always makes sure her kids keep up with health check-ups. Do you have a hard time sleeping when you’re away from home? It depends on the emotional and physical comfort of where I am, really. Do you know anyone who got engaged while still in high school? I believe so. Are you friendly to retail employees? Honestly, fuck you if you're not for no good reason. Half the shit you complain about isn't their goddamn fault. Do you know anyone who litters? Not regularly, no. I wouldn't associate with them, I don't care how simple that sounds. However, I kept my mouth shut at my nephew's last b-day party because the kids let balloons up into the air; they tend to end up on beaches or in the ocean, so technically, it's littering, but I didn't want to seem like an asshole. I'm certain my sister didn't really think about that though, or else she wouldn't have allowed it. Do you think your neighbors have any complaints about living near you? No. We don't do any harm. The dogs bark sometimes, but not obnoxiously loud to where you can hear it if you're in your house. What was the last kind of soup you ate? I tried canned vegetable soup when my tongue piercing was healing, but I didn't like it. Where do you usually buy groceries from? Wal-Mart or Harris Teeter, depending on a few circumstances. What’s your favorite candy? Reese's if you include chocolate, strawberry Sour Punch Straws if not. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No, not my kinda scene. Are you jealous of anyone? *Envious, yes. Last song listened to? why????? do i like????????? "love rhymes with fuck you" by j star??????????? Do you take vitamins daily? No; only on Sunday I take a vit. d pill because otherwise I'm severely deprived. Is anyone jealous of you? I HIGHLY doubt that, homie. Last CD you listened to? Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" album when Mom and I were otw to my therapist once and my iPod wasn't working. This was FOREVER ago and I'm pretty sure it's still in there, lmao. Is there something you want to tell someone? I'm going to die wanting to see Jason one final time and apologize to him for how I treated him after the break-up. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? NOOOOOOO not a fan of Frosted Flakes. How many kids do you want to have? Zero. Have you ever gone behind your parents' backs? I actually don't think so... Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's huband's grandma will give you a hug even if she met you for only five seconds. Not a bad thing, it's just kinda uncomfortable. Where did you get your worst scar from? Surgery. Do you name your stuffed animals? Some. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yes. What is your favorite roller coaster, and where is it? My ass will not sit in a roller coaster, probably ever. What is your favorite state? From what I've seen, I find Utah the prettiest. Do you own any form of a Gameboy? I have a red Gameboy Advance that somehow still works. How is the world going to end? I find a meteor striking to be most likely, or we're swallowed by a black hole. Do you have any pets? Do you want any/more? Yes, and I do want another ball python morph, as well as a bearded dragon. Though if/when Sara and I move in together, Doris will be enough for a beardie, oml I love that sassy baby. :') <3 How did you find out about Myspace? Probably my older sister, or classmates. Are you careless with your information on the internet? "Maybe by some people’s standards." <<< Change "maybe" to "probably" for me, lol. I'm trying to improve, though. Have you ever owned a lava lamp? No, but my older sis had one as a teen. I want one SO BADLY. Is it better to color with markers, crayons, or colored pencils? Colored pencils, by far. Do you like to draw or write better? Write. I get more satisfaction out of drawing something I like, but I draw so rarely because I'm painfully critical over what I make. Do you have a favorite cousin? No. Can you knit? No. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? Nope. Who are your last three missed calls from? Mom, Mom, and a number I didn't recognize. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I dunno. Have you hung out with any guys recently? No, but I miss Girt, so I should invite him over some time soon. Do you like your school? I love my school. They are very invested into their students' success, as well as being a community. Who’s the weirdest teacher at your school? I wouldn't know, I've only been here a month. Do you have nightmares often? Apparently. Mom sleeps on the couch right outside my door, and I spook her quite a lot by waking up screaming or attacking my bed, she says. Thank God I don't tend to remember them. Clarification, they're not night terrors or anything like that. I'm just pretty active in my sleep, such as talking and such. Can you remember how old you were when your appearance started to matter? I was kinda self-conscious in middle school 'cuz BOY was I an ugly duckling. How frequently do you pee at night? I almost without fail get up once a night to go. Do you name your pet fish, if you have any? N/A Do your parents care about you cussing? Dad doesn't, but Mom does about "severe" words, so I try to censor myself around her. Who is your favorite person in the world? Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? I live only with my mother, so. Is there a stuffed animal you still take places with you? No. Last insult you received? Idk. Have you ever eaten Pop Rocks and drank Coca-Cola at the same time? Yoooo I think I did once at a b-day party, but not a lot bc I was scared lmao. At concerts, do you buy merch? I've only been to one, but I did. I would if I went to more. I've missed some fucking amazing bands' concerts this past year, and it's really annoying me now. Are you gullible? Not really. Do you get excited easily? No. Are you a headbanger? No, I'd get dizzy with a headache on board. First concert you went to? Alice Cooper. What venue was that at? Somewhere in Raleigh, idr. Have you ever been out of state for a concert? No. Are you fascinated by outer space? I don't know a person who isn't. It's very intriguing. Do you shop for new clothes each season? No. Is your hair dyed right now? If so, what color is it? No, but damn I want to. I wanna dye it lilac. I just need a professional to do it. Do you look up your symptoms online whenever you have a problem? Not "whenever," no. I typically just ask Mom. Do you eat enough fruits and vegetables? No. Definitely not vegetables. Do you have dreams that you’re not giving up on? Being truly content with my life one day. Do you think your hair looks better up or down? It's too short to go up. Do you like bare trees or green-leaved trees better? I prefer autumn trees. What season would you want to get married in? October/November, preferably, when the trees are all pretty. <3 What does your favorite stuffed animal look like? I have three "favorites," those being Brownie, Plum, and Rebel. I've already talked about Brownie the moose, then Plum is a stuffed snake from Sara that she'd had growing up, and Rebel is my stuffed meerkat from Jason that I always slept with while we were together and for a very long time after the break-up. He was a big comfort to me, and though he's a bittersweet stuffed animal now, idk. A lot of memories. His fur is all matted and you can just tell that fella has seen some love. Do you collect anything? Meerkat & Silent Hill stuff. What was the last book you read? I'm almost done with The Handmaid's Tale for school, and it is fucking phenomenal, coming from someone whose love for reading slipped away long ago. I have never in my life read a book with such vivid imagery and description. When was the last time you moved to a new house? The beginning of 2017. How long was your longest relationship? 3 1/2 years. Tell me about how your parents met. How old were they? They met through work. Idk how old they were, somewhere in their 30s, probably. What makes your bedroom special to you/what is your favorite part about it? It is VERY personalized; my room is looooaaaaded with shit relating to me and my interests, and that's what I love about it. It's very homey to me, surrounded by my passions. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I put soap on first. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? I think the night of the breakup, when Mom essentially dragged me home from trying to walk to his house to talk. I entirely fell apart. When it comes to school, how motivated are you to work? It depends on where I am, actually. I'm at school for hours most days because my schedule fits into Mom's to avoid driving back and forth, and while I'm waiting in the library, I'm very motivated, even a bit obsessive. Meanwhile, at home, I don't want to work like... at all. I'm so used to this being my chill place. Do you know any high school sweethearts? How’s life treating them? My sister and her husband dated for a while in HS, actually, and they seem just fine. I'm sure my former friend and her husband are still together, and they've dated since middle school. I haven't had contact with her for like a year or so now though so idk how they are. Where do you usually buy your clothes? HotTopic or Wal-Mart. If you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you teach? Science, probably. But God FORBID I ever be a teacher; I wouldn't last. Which is the scariest ride you have ever been on in a theme park? Whatever that ride is where you sit in a bunch of chairs in a circle, go up way too damn high, and drop. I did it as a yolo even though I was terrified, and yeah, I screamed way too fucking loud. Never again.

#survey #questions #quiz #random #bored

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ryouverua · 6 years ago

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The Final Lab

.......... is really, really weird.

just what I’d expect from someone who may or may not have set up the love key system tbh

Is it weird to consider this the Mastermind’s Lab? .... Maybe?

Oh. Oh, that’s what you meant. Also, damn - does it spread out as far across as the AV room too?

Sure they are. Yup. They’re definitely here. Oh, hiding? ....... I don’t know if I’d go that far.

OH THE MUSIC CHANGE

I did think it was weird that the music hadn’t changed when we walked in there!

.... this is so oddly conspicuous.

OH IS THAT WHERE THAT THING FROM THE JUNKO-SCENE WAS THIS WHOLE TIME

Wait, what? We were supposed to find this room???

.......

The, uh. The what now.

I... guess there’s no denying that this is connected to the old games then. Btw, totally random, but I like that little ‘tinny’ filter they have on Monokuma’s voice. It’s a nice touch.

- says Sweetcheeks, to the giant Monokuma head

I mean, I know he means ‘are you the Monokuma that’s been in charge of everything this whole time or are you a separate entity’ but it just sounds kinda funny that’s all. 8′D

Anyway, it confirms that but goes on -

.... IS THIS YOUR WAY OF TRYING TO DIVERT MY ATTENTION FROM THAT WHOLE ‘WE HAVE TO PROTECT OUR REAL MOTHER’ FROM CHAPTER 4. 8/ I’M NOT BUYING THAT THIS IS THE MOTHER YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.

Though with that said, uh, what’s with the sudden ‘maternal’ imagery???

I wonder if the Monokubs were made there too... they’re separate from Monokuma, but they were obviously replaced. Also, that... doesn’t... look like a machine that could make new Monokuma, but I’m going to choose to believe this for now only because it’s something that was brought up in Chapter 1 too. I can’t think of a reason why this could be untrue...

That’s a good point. I mean, unless there’s a hidden area behind there that have pre-made Monokumas that just need to be activated or something? That would make more sense...

“Duh-doi.”

That’s true. This is... weird. I’m just - I’m just getting a weird vibe in general.

WHY WOULD YOU ASK HIM TO DO THAT WHEN THERE IS LITERALLY A ‘MONOKUMA ET ALL VS STUDENTS’ WAR RIGHT NOW

S T O P

ASDL;KFJASDF okay I actually laughed

also thank god, honestly

oh god it has a good point

DUDE DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT THAT’S WEIRD

What is happening right now are we trying to call his bluff but what if it isn’t a bluff WHAT IF IT ISN’T A BLUFF -

GUYS PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT THAT’S REALLY CREEPY

But at the same time, why would it lie now? What if the deadline had come way back in Chapter 1 and there wasn’t any firepower to back it up? There... had to have been a way to back up that threat. .... Right? Right? oh god please don’t say Kaede killed for nothing -

“THIS IS WHY WE KEEP GETTING BLOWN UP BY K1-B0, SHUICHI!”

Wait, what? That’s a Monopad? I couldn’t tell from the original angle. ..... A Monopad with blood on it??? And is that a handprint....

WHAT

W H A T

Wait, I’m trying to remember... didn’t he have a Monopad on him when he died? We talked about this already, right? So he started the game with two? hey rantaro why does monokuma let you have two monopads -

ahaha lol bye necklace!perk theory

.... Wait, if it has his handprint on it, isn’t that the one he was holding in the picture?

WHAT HE GETS AN ENHANCED MAP THAT’S CHEATI - oh I guess that’s part of the perk. But still. Still.....

.... Man this would have been so helpful to have from the beginning. 8′/

But there it is - the reason Rantaro knew the exact location of the library door. It was literally laid out for him. The mastermind really did lure him there...

Oh my god this literally spells out what memory he’ll learn next. The mastermind’s moves. Literally everything that would perfectly position him to the perfect spot - this almost seems like it was designed that way! To prey on his paranoia from his missing memories! This wasn’t a hint, this was a fucking set-up from the start!

.... And yet, it was written by him. But it had to have been approved by the mastermind, right? Or at the very least, the mastermind knew about it...

HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF WITHOUT IT

Man, past!Rantaro screwed over future!Rantaro really well.

I’m so fired up at how unfair this all was for him ffff he was set up to fail under the guise of it being a perk what the hell, he wasn’t even given a fighting chance at all - ?!

JUSTICE!!! JUSTICE FOR RANTARO!!!!

.... I-I mean, I have no idea who it could belong to.

Oh, he knows. He 100% knows. This is him just living by ‘measure twice, cut once’, a proverb I wholeheartedly subscribe to btw.

And she knows it too.

MAN literally the moment anything Kokichi-related comes up she is up and running to it. It’s a shame she hasn’t been able to shake that ‘KILL THE MASTERMIND!!!’ attitude that caused all the problems in the first place, but at least she seems incredibly determined to make it up to Kokichi’s memory personally...? 8′D or am I reading too much into it again

insert laugh track

INTROVERT BUDDIES :D

I’m sorry WHAT -

what - ?!

It’s just... laying here? In the trash, with nothing else? Another thing we’re supposed to find???

Is that from Kaede’s sweater?

This... is a continuation of the set-up? Just, just leaving this shotput ball here like Kaede just ~has~ to be lurking around here - ??

It... has to be Tsumugi. Between her ‘finding’ the cold room, Kaede’s profile, Kaede’s ‘twin’, just leaving Rantaro’s Monopad out here for us to find, Motherkuma handing out convenient clues and ‘evidence’ of her living in here... it’s all too convenient?

... No, this is a set-up. She’s trying to set up Kaede as the mastermind. And she even had Kaede’s clothes at one point, didn’t she??? For the cospox scene? Did - did Shuichi just realize it was Tsumugi too, then?

...

omg I just remembered Tsumugi being incredibly pissed at Rantaro when he basically made her third-wheel in the nailpolishing scene that was totally going to be the Kaemugi Magnum Opus and telling him to, what was it? ‘Backflip into a landmine and die?’ shinjaeba - it was right there. it was the first comparison I made in my head. I should’ve known in that moment.

That is so darkly hilarious in hindsight, though I still wonder how she knew to count on Kaede’s plan. What if Shuichi hadn’t found the door? Wait, if the Survivor’s Perk ended up here after Kaede’s trap was triggered, does that mean she darted out and nabbed the Survivor’s Perk afterwards??? But... how did she get past everyone in the first place......... Maybe with Monokuma lying in wait in this room, then? If she had an extra in here and Rantaro had opened the door anyway, it would be easy enough... maybe...???

I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS...

oh Tsumugi is encouraging me to continue looking around too

YOU LEFT MORE CLUES TO POINT A FINGER AT THE THEORETICAL MASTERMIND!KAEDE, DIDN’T YOU

So as long as you were quick enough, you could dart in and out of the room via the automatic door to... say... grab a Survivor’s Perk. Got it.

So you mean... it might not matter if you happened to put the receipt signed tape dust on the reader if the mastermind had already gotten in the room, so there’s potentially a chance that it was accessed if Shuichi’s timing/luck was bad?

H-Himiko plz

C-Can we also talk about how while Mother Monokuma is confirming that this is the ‘Remnants of Despair’ room, Tsumugi is the one that keeps pushing for that comparison... she’s, uh, way too hyped about them. I’m just sayin’.

“Well, they are now - oh, crap. Uh. Um. Just. Forget I said that.”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY ��NO’ WE PRACTICED THIS - I MEAN -”

I know the context is inaccurate but seeing Tsumugi sweating like this right here is making me lol - and I think I can stop saying ‘assuming I’m right’, because... I’m... starting to feel pretty confident tbh.

I feel like Motherkuma’s attitude is a bit different than Monokuma’s? Or am I just imagining things? It seems a lot more relaxed about the mysteries of everything than the other one, and certainly the Monokubs. They literally almost blew the students up for trying to get in here!

IT HAS TO BE LOOPING, THERE’S NO WAY YOU COULD SAY THAT IF IT WASN’T LOOPING IN SOME FASHION

Because it would have to end if there were only two people left, but clearly it wouldn’t if there was! And Rantaro is proof that it didn’t end with him, either!

The question is, why is it looping????

HOW MANY MORE CAN THERE BE

oh god they really are getting faster i barely captured anything from this

WAIT WHERE IS EVERYONE ELSE

So... Monokuma is still a recognized figure.

It would have been before Shuichi’s time though, yeah? And of course it would have been recorded as a significant event. I was curious so I looked up what our real life ‘most watched’ events in TV history were and they’re mostly positive, tbh - but not all of them. There were some significant funerals. Anything planned, basically.

'Like they usually do?!’ Okay, they are seriously emphasizing the ‘this game is looping’ angle here - and apparently Shuichi should be aware of this fact? Monokuma’s explaining it all, but it sounds like it’s more of a recap than anything!

He recaps it conveniently for us:

Gofer Project, the state of the world, that they’re the last survivors, their promise to be friends...

Was it like this with the original class? It looks like Shuichi was the last one to be woken up, too. I wonder if that’s significant...?

Wait, but hadn’t they not met each other before this? Or I guess they just forgot their ‘first’ meeting and that was enough...

“Well tbh I was hoping you would monologue about your evil plans for a bit in case I conveniently remembered these memories later, but fine.”

...What a great name for the light. right right shouldn’t be giving the murder-bear props for anything, sorry -

With that said, the flashback in the helmets still bother me -unless that was supposed to be them losing their talents in the first place. .... I’m not... entirely convinced of that, though. I don’t think that image has been confirmed to be associated to the talent-loss, so I’m not going to write it off as that yet.

“That’s oddly specific and is giving me a different set of high school flashbacks - can you get rid of those memories too while you’re at it oh shIT -”

tell me you don’t see sweetcheeks getting shoved into a locker at some point in his life though

Are you sure??? Are you sure?

Again, mass-induced memories - but unlike the ones in the pod room, they didn’t seem to be triggered by anything specifically. I wonder, actually - did the others get that memory as well? Tsumugi apparently did, but -

That’s not your fault!!

aaaaaw she wants to find a clue too 8′D

LMAO you, uh, weren’t ready for the responsibility yet, huh. She wears her anxiety on her sleeve. 8′D

ATTAGIRL!!!

You’ve got this, Himiko! You don’t know this yet, but the meta is on your side! You’ll definitely find something!

Ah, the rare serious Himiko..

So, interesting. We’re splitting up again - Maki’s ahead, Himiko’s behind, and we’re still with Tsumugi. Why are all signs pointing to her so much right now??? Am I going crazy here??? I mean, she’s also the least developed out of everyone left which isn’t helping and we still haven’t seen her cosplay yet (outside of potential!Junko) so....??? So, my girl? Will we ever get to see the power of EVA foam in your capable hands?

#Shuichi Saihara #Maki Harukawa #Tsumugi Shirogane #Himiko Yumeno #K1-b0 #Keebo #Kiibo #Ryou plays drv3 #spoilers #drv3 spoilers #I'll try and answer the asks from yesterday soon just want to get this out tonight

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junionigiri · 6 years ago

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Peony Pink and Cherry Blossom Tea Ch 6: Can We Talk

Summary: Things go wrong in the feelings department in the worst way

Relationships: Todoroki Shouto/Uraraka Ochako; past Shindo You/Uraraka Ochako; background Tokage Setsuna/Jirou Kyoka

Rating: T

Warnings/Notes: um. Angst and I’m sorry about that. Pls don’t hate Yui

“Hey there,” someone says from behind her. “That’s… an interesting thing your doing to our weights.”

Uraraka Ochako, fifteen years old, first year student of Ketsubutsu High’s general studies department, looks guiltily from the floating set of weights to the owner of the voice.

Her eyes meet dark hair, all messed up but in a nice way, like he just rolled out of bed. A handsome face with a sharp jaw, a little dirty and scratched from a scuffle. His gym clothes are all soaked with sweat and burnt and torn to shreds at different areas. He smells like he rolled around a barbeque pit, making her wonder what the heck are these hero course students doing, killing themselves in training?

“Oh,” she says in embarrassment, releasing her quirk on the weights all at once. They fall noisily on the concrete floor, making an ugly sound that causes both of them to flinch. “Yeah, sorry. Am I allowed here? If I’m not, can you pretend that this didn’t happen? Sorry, I got bored, and my friends--”

He raises two pretty eyebrows at her, lets one side of his mouth curl up in interest. “You got bored waiting for your friends, so you started floating weights around? Most girls just play on their phones or text, or something,” he says with amusement.

She shrugs and scratches the back of her head. “I would, believe me, but--”

Her phone is an ancient thing with a huge line in the middle of the screen that dies when she uses it for more than fifteen minutes. It’s at ten percent right now, and she left her charger at home, and she really didn’t want to walk the 2 kilometers to her tiny apartment in the darkening city without a working phone.

She doesn’t want to explain the pathetic story of her phone and poverty, though, so she stammers out, “Much more interestin’ usin’ my quirk than playin’ Candy Crush, that’s fer sure.”

He guffaws, and she sees a row of perfect, mesmerizing white teeth. “Well, you’re right about that,” he says. “You’re also right about you not being allowed here. This place is technically for hero course students only.”

She flinches. “Um… okay… so about the pretending part--”

He tilts his head, a smile that’s both playful and devious on his lips. “You asking me to be an accomplice, Ms. General Studies?”

On the surface, that easygoing smile is telling her that it’s okay to say yes. But Ochako finds something a little disconcerting under that facade of his--she knows he’s plotting something under that pretty boy face of his, but what?

She stares dumbly at him, not really sure what to do, until he laughs and breaks the tension. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t see anything,” he tells her with another easy smile. “Just don’t do it again. You might wreck our equipment with that quirk of yours, ya know?”

She feels her ears turn red. “I’m sorry, I just got surprised. I don’t get to practice my quirk as much as you guys,” she says, picking up the weights one by one, floating the heavier ones in the air. She tries to be gentle with the landing, but partial gravity release is hard. When she releases them, the guy has to run and catch them in one hand.

Muscles in his arm bulge as he does. She bites her lower lip.

She isn’t sure if he notices. He pauses a bit, eyebrow raised. “That’s too bad, ‘cos your quirk is cool. If you went to the heroes course, I think we’d work really great together.”

She blushes further. No-one has ever told her that her quirk was anything other than ‘okay’, because while it’s exceedingly simple compared to others, at least it didn’t make her look weird or smell bad. ‘Cool’ isn’t a term she’s ready to hear. “Thank you,” she says, because she isn’t sure what else to say.

The guy steps closer to her. “I’m not just saying it. I’m serious. You don’t look like you believe me.”

She laughs awkwardly and steps back. “I… I didn’t say that.”

“Here, I’ll prove it to you.” Suddenly her hands are in his, and he’s staring right into her eyes and she’s paralyzed.

She hears her heart pounding wildly in her chest, feels the blood rush from her brain to her heart to her cheeks and the sound is so loud she almost doesn’t understand what the boy tells her next.

“Let’s spar. Right here.”

She freezes. Makes a silly face that makes him laugh out loud.

“I’m serious!” he repeats, dragging her to the sparring area with cushions. She stammers all the way there, even when he somehow gets her to pull off her shoes and stand in front of him, arms akimbo. “It’ll be quick. You try to activate the floaty thing on me, and I’ll try to dodge. Promise, I won’t use my quirk against you or knock you out or anything.”

She gives him another ridiculous look, shakes her head. “Are you sure?”

He smiles lazily at her, and positions herself for combat.

With a smirk, she tosses her uniform blazer aside, rolls up her sleeves, gets into position.

It’s a tough seven minutes, but it ends with the over-enthusiastic boy hooting up the ceiling in excitement, and Ochako collapsing on the mat from sheer exhaustion.

She releases the quirk, and he falls, lands on all fours like it’s no trouble. He helps her up with one pull of a strong arm and asks for her name, as if the thought just came to him then.

What a weirdo, she thinks, and tells him her name.

After that fight, life goes on in General Studies. In between struggling with English and chatting with her friends about the cafes they want to visit after school, Ochako doesn’t think much about him, except in quiet moments where she’s alone and she’s free to squeal and smile and roll over in her bed like an idiot.

Two weeks later, she finds a letter in her locker--a messy scrawl asking to meet with her outside. No signature. Her girl friends squeal at the potential confession. She shrinks at the potential threat.

When she gets there, Shindo Yo, as promised, stands there by himself with just his easy smile and his sincerity. “Uraraka-san, I like you,” he says with an intense look in his pretty dark eyes that makes her melt. He takes both hands in hers again, making sure that her finger-pads don’t make either of them float this time. “Please go out with me.”

She manages to say yes, somehow, despite the fireworks going off in her little brain. The happy smile on his face makes her heart feel full. He holds her hand, fingers intertwined, and takes her home.

When they find out the next day, all her friends squeal and ask how the heck did you manage to get the most popular guy in the hero course to look at you? At the risk of admitting violating school policy, she keeps her mouth shut and her smile consistently mysterious.

Days later, she opens her shoe locker and finds it full of garbage.

Ochako, strangely enough, misses the unsophisticated, garbage-in-your-locker type of bullying in high school. Because at least then she has a concrete, visual evidence of all the nasty shit going on in those evil little minds of theirs. Plus she can make the garbage float above the bullies and make the icky shit drip over their heads. It’s a satisfying stunt she pulled off once, and paid for with a hard shove against her locker, which didn’t make it any less worth it.

Now that she’s all grown-up there’s nothing as solid as garbage that showed their nasty thoughts in striking clarity. Only whispers and dirty looks that just won’t die down. Only these so-called professionals making her wait for too long when she needs to endorse important things about patients, and then blaming her for her slowness when things happen. Only anonymous comments on her (already locked) social media accounts and on the HGH Facebook pages that make not-so-subtle comments about her spending so much time staring into Doctoroki’s eyes that she makes a lot of mistakes at work.

Her HGH ‘parents’ are enraged, of course. Mina especially is always on the verge of throwing hands at anyone who so much as squints in Ochako’s direction. Eijiro, the more rational parent, has been coaching her to tell the nursing supervisor about the goings-on, but how is she going to do that when one of them told her to keep her relationship from affecting her work?

Also! How can her ‘relationship’ get in the way of work, anyway, when there isn’t much happening in that area? Sure, they make enough public appearances (lunch in the very middle of the cafeteria, facing each other, fifteen minutes max twice that week!) to keep the charade going, but… Doctoroki and her have gone back to being quiet.

It’s not that they’re being cold. They text as often as they can, but things have been insane at work. Shouto needed to back-up Dr. Momo a lot this week. There has also been an increase in villain activity everywhere, which means more wounded civilians and pros to tend to. Ochako herself feels the strain. She replies to him diligently, tries to get a conversation going despite the hour-long gaps in between replies.

It definitely isn’t the same as the nice talk they had over the weekend. She supposes this is why there are articles and articles in girly magazines about how hard it is to date anyone in the medical profession--for them, time is a construct that only serves to tell them how much they haven’t accomplished yet.

But at least this time Shouto seems to be a little less clinical in his texts.

Todoroki Shouto (1434H): Got a case with pedia--trauma, burn injuries, just stabilized. The pro who rescued the child days ago just visited. Midoriya is having his pre-op crying session as we speak.

Todoroki Shouto (1434H): Should I comfort him, or let him be? I feel very out of place just watching him here.

Ochako giggles imagining the scene. Deku-kun doesn’t always need the pre-op sobfest, but in hard cases he does it to focus, and so he doesn’t burst out into tears in the middle of the OR. Or so he says.

Three hours ago, she realizes, as she looks at the timestamps. If the other nurses didn’t make her wait so long and didn’t give her such a hard time during endorsements, she might have been able to reply to him earlier.

She starts to type, sorry, Shouto… you know, im having a hard time with work lately

… and then shakes her head, puffs her cheeks, deletes. No, don’t… Shouto doesn’t need to hear your drama, he doesn’t need more emotional load, he doesn’t have that sort of responsibility for you. This isn’t real. Isn’t real.

Me (1737H): sry! Brought a couple of cases to med ward, took a while!

Me (1738H): i hope u told him he was gonna be okay! deku-kun needs a lot of tlc!!!

Me (1738H): work hard!!! I hope the baby makes it :(

She sighs and drops her phone in her scrubsuit pocket and patiently waits for her ‘tattoo date’ in the hospital lobby.

Her phone vibrates again, and she inhales a bit, hoping that it’s Dr. Tokage telling her that she’s on the way down and they can finally go to Illusion Inks for her next session with Jirou. It’ll be an hour of her being pierced with needles while watching two pretty girls shamelessly flirt while she simmers in mild jealousy, but it’s definitely better than moping about at home and waiting for the next reply from--

Shindo Yo (1740H): Hi, Uraraka-san!

Shindo Yo (1741H): Busy day at work, I bet (✖╭╮✖) it’s the same for us too

Shindo Yo (1741H): what r u up to?

She stares glumly at the texts. Of course it isn’t Doctoroki. She breathes, asks herself why she’s doing this, but does it anyway.

Me (1742H): I’m on my way out of work, senpai.

Shindo Yo (1743H): wow, ur replying fast to me today! Happy~ Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Shindo Yo (1745H): u must be rly rly pissed at work today huh? lol

Me (1747H): ig

Me (1747H): lots of villain attacks lately. busy

Shindo Yo (1748H): u know it :( we’re trying our best too. Just worked a double shift cos of that. Im beat!

Me (1749H): same

Shindo Yo (1750H): yeah u look like it 〈(゜。゜) gotta do sth bout that

She freezes and narrows her eyes at the text. Wait, don’t tell me--

Me (1751H): senpai. Dont be creepy

Shindo Yo (1752H): waaaah im not

Me (1752H): im callin security

Shindo Yo (1753H): pls dont i promise im not bein creepy!!!

Me (1754H): yes. u. r!!!!

Shindo Yo (1754H): only a little!!! just dont move ok?

From her vantage point in the middle sofa, she immediately looks around the lobby. There are only a few people sitting, waiting, speaking to the receptionist, who all suddenly turn to her with barely-concealed interest in their eyes.

She smells strawberries from behind her. When she turns her head, she gets a faceful of box and strawberry scent. “What the--”

“Whoa, easy,” that familiar voice says with a chuckle. “You really are extra pissed today, huh.”

She gets the box out of her face and gives Shindo Yo a solid glare. “Senpai! What are you doing here?!” she squeaks.

He isn’t wearing his skimpy hero uniform, thank god. He’s in a shirt, a leather jacket and skinny jeans, a lazy smile on his face that would have made her stupid with want in her younger years. He chuckles again and leans forward. No sense of personal space whatsoever, as usual. “Had business here. I’m just waiting for my associate to get to the lobby so we can time out.”

She raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing him. “We?”

“My new agency, remember? We’ve been crazy busy lately, but when we get time we try to see the people we help out on the field.” He moves the box around, as if it’s proof enough of his claims. “I just saw a young lady I rescued from an attack in Naruhata. She gave me an entire box of strawberry mochi. Which is sweet, but unfortunate, seein’ as I don’t really like sweets and all…”

Even though it’s not uncommon for pro heroes to do just that, especially the young ones, Ochako isn’t convinced. “Really. Where is she admitted?”

Shindo rolls his eyes, pulls out a card attached from the box and reads. “Dear Seismic-sama, Thank you for saving my life. Heart eyes. It isn’t much, but please accept my gift! This is my fav snack ever and I hope this makes you happy, exclamation exclamation. Stars and hearts and cute rabbit with hearts for eyes. Love, Luna-chan from room 432.”

He lets her read the card, and she has to admit that the glittery gel ink and the cutesy handwriting makes it look genuine. She stops narrowing her eyes. “Okay. I guess that’s pretty nice, senpai.”

“Right?” he says with a proud little grin. “Am I still creepy, Uraraka-san?”

She puffs her cheeks. “You still are,” she says with a petulant upturn of the nose. “I really thought you were waiting to ambush me! You really gotta be less weird when you text!”

“Haha, fine fine.” He tries to look apologetic, but not really. “So… you alone here? Are you waiting for Todoroki-san, or…”

“Oh… no… he’s busy,” she says. Instinctively, she looks at her phone and sees no messages. She wonders if the surgery is over.

“Hm. Odd.” There’s a little devious glint in his eyes as he says it, one that makes Ochako narrow her eyes at him again like he’s a creep. “What, I’m just saying! Because she told me she’s just finished talking to him, and--”

She? Who she? Also, what would Shindo know about Todoroki anyway? Seriously, why does he care so much about the two of them, when--

“Shindo-senpai. Uraraka-san,” someone says from behind him, making Ochako’s words of protest die in her mouth.

Two people approach from behind them, staring at their conversation as if it’s the strangest thing in the world. Ochako meets Kodai Yui’s raven eyes and glassy skin and aura of gentleness that she’ll never achieve in her lifetime ever. The momentary breathlessness that any normal person gets from staring at her magnifies upon seeing the person next to her.

“Oh… Yui-chan and Todoroki-kun,” Shindo says. Standard friendly smile on his face, a raise of an eyebrow as he glances at Ochako knowingly. “You guys done with your little talk?”

Ochako doesn’t mean to stare, but the way Shouto looks at her in a mildly perturbed manner makes her wonder how shocked her face must look like.

Yui nods. “Our patient is okay. Todoroki-san and Midoriya-san did well.”

The other pro nods, and then sticks his hand out to shake Shouto’s. “So I guess that means I should congratulate you, Doc? Yui-chan was so worried about Tanuki-kun. She was pretty happy knowing that you were on board the case and all, ya know?”

Face not moving the slightest, Shouto nods and takes Shindo’s hand. “Thank you. Seismic-san, right?”

“Nah, you can call me Shindo. Or, senpai. We didn’t go to the same school, but we’re both proper heroes, you and I,” he says, eyes creasing. “Uraraka-san calls me that, so I don’t mind if you do too.”

“Hm,” says Shouto, looking at Ochako curiously.

Ochako stupidly looks down on her hands.

Yui glances at the two of them with an unreadable look before looking at Shindo again. “Senpai, Yoarashi-san might be wondering where we are right now.”

“Ah, you’re right.” Shindo makes a bashful face and bows to the two of them. “Sorry for cutting our conversation off so abruptly, Uraraka-san! I guess we can continue next time, eh?”

“Huh? No, that’s--”

Before she can protest no, we aren’t talking about anything important at all, don’t say misleading things in front of my fake boyfriend, Shindo is already pushing Yui by her shoulders out of the lobby and giving the two of them a small wave of one hand. Soon, they disappear in the elevators, leaving the doctor and the nurse alone.

Shouto blinks once and trains his eyes to hers. “You two seem close,” he says neutrally.

She nods, bites her lower lip. “I knew him from high school.”

My first boyfriend, she wants to say. First person I ever loved. First boy to ever break my heart. Because it’s the truth, a distant one that’s so far away that she should feel nothing significant if she admits them.

Still, she doesn’t. And she wonders why the words don’t come.

“Hm,” Shouto repeats.

There’s something odd going on in his eyes, something very hard to read. Ochako decides that if he were to ask anything at all about Shindo, that she’d tell him everything--how they started and how they ended and how Shindo is weaseling himself back into her life and she’s probably giving him one too many chances to do so by replying to his stupid texts because she’s stupid and lonely and stressed over all the gossip and all the things going on in Shouto’s family that really isn’t any of their faults--basically all that she can’t tell Shouto because heaven knows he’s got too much on his plate as it is, and Shindo seems to like listening to her, but she really wished that it was just Shouto and her and none of this shitty drama--and even though none of this is real, sometimes it feels so real , just like their drive back from Shizuoka, and--

And…

And, Shouto doesn’t say a single word. And… all that senseless drivel dies down her throat. She looks down on her hands again and gives up on that trainwreck of ideas.

Instead, she braces herself and says, “You and Yui-san.”

He blinks. Without a word or a single movement, waits for her to continue.

She inhales as quietly as she can, and speaks again. “I didn’t know you guys spoke too,” she manages, without any incriminating lilts to her tone. Or so she hopes. “I mean… I’m not, you know--I’m just a little bit surprised, I didn’t know she was the pro you were talking about earlier--”

Ochako do you really sound as much as a jealous bitch as you do in your head?! You’re just stating cold hard facts, so don’t be weird about this. Don’t be stupid.

Shouto speaks, after a beat of loaded silence. “I should have texted you about her, I suppose,” he says quietly. “She went to us right before the surgery to make sure that--”

“Paging Dr. Todoroki to ER. Dr. Todoroki, to ER now. Dr. Todoroki--”

They look up the ceiling, then at each other, and down on the ground simultaneously. Open their mouths at the same time, wordlessly clamp them shut as if they’re each other’s awkward, awkward mirrors.

Shouto exhales quietly, and says, “I should go. That might be Dr. Aizawa looking for me. I heard there’s been another Nomu attack nearby.”

Ochako nods. She tries to give a bright smile. “Okay. Do your best, Todoroki-kun.”

“Okay. Be careful going home, Uraraka.” He looks down on her hands, that odd look never leaving. Ochako carefully stares at his mouth, waits for the usual smile he gives her before they part ways.

It doesn’t come. Soon she watches his broad back disappear as he goes past the doors to the ER.

Later, she realizes that she’s still holding the box that Shindo left behind. For Seismic-sama, the card reads, clearly visible to the naked eye.

She wants to shove her face repeatedly into the stupid mochi.

The bothersome feelings of that odd encounter don’t leave her, not even when Setsuna eventually makes it to the lobby and asks her why she looks like she looks like Dr. Shiozaki after talking to an atheist. She manages not to say a lot of how she feels on the way to Illusion Ink, but eventually caves to the heavy interrogation when Kyoka starts working on her tattoo again.

(It’s really hard to be dishonest while a sharp needle is drawing lines on the inner, softer side of your arm.)

She doesn’t tell them about the fake-dating scheme. Just her honest troubles about people talking shit and treating her like shit, but not hard enough that she can complain to people about it. People hinting that she isn’t good enough for Shouto, just because she’s an ordinary nurse with an ordinary face and an ordinary quirk, and how fucked up it is that people would rather see him with Yui-san rather than someone like her.

And actually seeing him with Yui-san, out of nowhere… that took her by surprise. Made her feel weirder than it should. Shouto didn’t even look that bothered when Ochako was eyeing the two of them with all those silent questions floating in her head. She was ready to listen to whatever excuse--no, explanation he would give, but he got paged, and all she has is that heavy shitty feeling in her tummy to bring home.

“Hm,” Kyoka says, as she lifts the needle and dabs her swollen skin with gauze. (Lots of people going hm this evening. She’s starting to get sick of it.) “And you say that Doctoroki saw you talking to that Shindo guy at the lobby, right?”

Ochako winces, but doesn’t say anything.

“Hm,” Setsuna concurs, as her sharp teeth work through a strawberry mochi. “Todoroki saw, all right. I was watching all of you from the back, ‘cause it looked like drama was ‘bout to go down--”

Her jaw drops, allowing a shocked stupid sound escape from it.

“-- and it was obvious that Seismic was super into you,” she continues without an ounce of shame. Her disembodied hand floats and stuffs a mochi into Kyoka’s mouth, who receives it blankly. “If I were Todoroki, I’d be super bothered. But he didn’t say anything at all after that encounter. Right, Ochako-chan?”

She closes her jaw, and winces again. That’s also part of why she feels like shit right now. “Is it weird that I feel bad that he didn’t feel bad about this?”

The other girls look at each other. “Well… I mean if it were us, and it was Yui instead of Seismic makin’ eyes at Kyoka-chan, I won’t be bothered,” says the lizard girl thoughtfully.

“I agree. Yui looks like a sweetheart,” the tattoo apprentice agrees with a sage nod. “I even got her photobook! It’s really nice, I understand why they had a stampede over it--”

“Oh shit, is it the unofficial one by the photographer, Spiral?” gasps Setsuna, eyes wide when Kyoka nods at her smugly. “Let me borrow please omg I heard the entire book is soul-cleansing, and heaven knows my dead and rotting soul needs cleansing--”

Ochako immediately realizes that she’s speaking with the wrong pair. She sighs as they gush a little more about Yui, until they notice her simmering in a pool of insecurity.

“Oh, but we don’t mean that you’re any less of a sweetheart than Yui,” says the internist with a cackle. “Uh… right. What I was saying was, it’s different, what happened earlier. Seismic and you? I dunno, I guess for others it looks like you guys were just talking but… when I saw you I had half a mind to get you out of there… something just didn’t feel right, I guess? And I was totally waitin’ for Todoroki to do the same, but...”

He didn’t. The little nurse twists her lip. “I wish you got me out of there, Dr. Tokage,” she sighs. “Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so…”

Disappointed. Guilty.

“Weird,” she finishes, with a sigh.

“Hm.” Kyoka and Setsuna say in unison, eyeing her with sympathy and suspicion and it’s weird how they mixed those together.

“Well,” the tattoo artist says thoughtfully, triangular eyes boring right into hers in the most grown-up glint she’s ever seen, “I get the confusion, I really do. You’re dealing with a lot at work, so you’re not at your best right now. Maybe that thing with that Shindo guy is nothing, and that thing with Yui is nothing, and maybe it isn’t worth it to be weird about it. But I think that all those weird things that you’re feeling should be expressed as they are to Doctoroki. You know? I mean… it might be a weird conversation, but you guys are in a real, adult relationship--”

She tries not to choke at the last part.

“--and real, adult relationships require real, adult conversations. Otherwise, there’d be misunderstandings, and trust me, those are the things you want to deal with as soon as possible. Right, Setsuna?”

Setsuna nods and gives Ochako a sawtooth smile. “Gotta say, Ochako-chan, you got your work cut out for you, eh? Shouto’s a talker, isn’t he?”

The nurse sighs deeply. He can be, if he wants to, but it’s obvious that he didn’t want to say anything earlier. Maybe for him it’s all nothing.

Maybe she should talk to him about it. But… how to start talking to Todoroki Shouto about… feelings ?

Yikes, Ochako. Good luck.

The troubled nurse closes her eyes as Kyoka continues shading the entire planet Saturn on her arm.

Me (2143H): hey! Im home from illusion ink. Arm hurts like crazy. Dr Tokage gave me a ride back. How r u?

Todoroki Shouto (2200H): That’s good. I’m waiting for our turn to use the OR. It’s going to be a busy night.

Me (2202H): Oh no. Please do your best! ;;;;

Todoroki Shouto (2201H): Thank you. I will.

Me (2217H): Say, Shouto. I know this is weird for me to ask, but

Me (2218H): Can we talk?

Todoroki Shouto (2219H): ?

Todoroki Shouto (2219H): We’re talking now.

Me (2220H): No, I mean. Like a real talk irl. Over food or sth

Me (2221H): I can treat you anywhere u like promise

Todoroki Shouto (2221H): Ah.

Todoroki Shouto (2222H): It might be difficult to do so soon. I’ll do my best to make time.

Todoroki Shouto (2224H): I’ll let you know as soon as I can.

Me (2226H): Oh! Thats totally fine i get wat u mean

Me (2228H): so yeah, i guess ill just wait for ur schedule to clear up;; and mine too hahaha

Me (2245H): ah, so, i gotta go to bed soon, got the morning shift tomorrow

Me (2246H): good night ^_^

Todoroki Shouto (0214H): Sorry about that. We just got out of surgery.

Todoroki Shouto (0215H): Please be patient with me, Ochako.

Todoroki Shouto (0230H): Good night.

Things happen. Outside, society’s on the verge of crumbling because villains keep popping up left and right.

Life in the hospital, however, goes on.

This week, Shouto and Ochako manage to make exactly one public appearance: a coffee run at the convenience store next to the hospital lobby, before he forces his sleep-deprived self to drive her home. She isn’t sure if he does it out of obligation to their set-up, or if he needed a functioning pair of eyes at the passenger seat to wake him up if he falls asleep on the wheel… which happens twice, at different stoplights.

They make it to Ochako’s apartment without incident. She watches him carefully as he rubs his tired eyes and takes a swig of the cheap coffee, which makes his mouth curl in distaste. “Are you going to make it home, Doctoroki?”

He nods, although his sallow eyes seem to say the contrary.

She swallows nervously and says, “You can… take a nap inside, if you want to--”

“I’ll be okay,” Shouto says, with sudden clarity. “I don’t want to impose.”

But you should, she thinks. “I don’t want you to get in an accident.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t. Promise.”

He drains the coffee, to prove his point further. Ochako continues to eye him warily, but it looks like entering her tiny home will make him more uncomfortable than dying on the road, so she keeps her mouth shut.

“You can… take a nap in your car, if you need to,” she says, unbuckling her seatbelt with a sense of defeat.

“Don’t worry about me.” He tries to look at her with some assurance. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get home. Or when they pull me out of the wreckage. Either way.”

She laughs nervously. That’s all she can do at this point.

Thankfully, twenty minutes later as she sits on the floor biting her fingernails to the crescent, Shouto sends a photo of his car, parked safely in the garage. Home. I’ll be sleeping in a bit. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.

And that’s that, for the week. Ochako feels a little empty, if she were being completely honest with herself, but really, she shouldn’t have hoped for anything different than this sudden exhausted back-and-forth between them.

She shouldn’t have allowed herself to feel much more than that.

Because as it happens, on the dull Tuesday that follows, all hell breaks loose in the feelings department, in the worst way that it can.

It happens like this:

1409H. Most of her work is done, she isn’t on deck for the next procedure. All her paperworks are done, and her shift is essentially over. It’s one of those rare good days at work where she finishes on time. Eijirou and Yuuga are done, too, and to celebrate the rare miracle of being out of the hospital in the light of day, they decide to treat themselves to a nice meal.

Eijirou and Yuuga argue about where to go for some time. In hindsight, Ochako thinks that things might have gone differently if Yuuga had insisted on wanting to eat Monoma’s croque madame a little bit more, but as it happens Eijirou convinces them that NTG cafe is the way to go, because have you even tried their truffle pasta Aoyama? Oh my god you should, and also he wants to see if the owner, Bakugou, is doing okay today. (He doesn’t elaborate much when he’s asked why he wants to check, though.)

Ochako hasn’t been to this cafe much--the first time she ordered something, Bakugou was manning the counter and had the gall to write RoundFace on her cup. Never mind how accurate it is, and how very amused Mina was at the time it happened, it was still pretty darn rude. But she digresses.

Today, though, the other blonde barista named Kaminari takes their orders, and they take a seat at the back of the cafe, near the exit at the other side.

As they wait, Yuuga gushes about the Idiabazal cheese he got thru the Cheese of the Month club. Ochako tries to be interested, but ducks down to send a message on her phone very quickly:

Me (1432H): I finished work on time today so im eatin out with eijirou-kun and yuuga-kun :) i hope work won’t be too insane for you today.

She stares at the screen for a good minute after she sends it, expects nothing and sees nothing. She pushes her phone back to her pocket, tries to lose herself in Yuuga’s sparkles, and…

The cafe collectively holds its breath, as the pro-hero Yui enters.

Even Yuuga pauses for a good second to say, “Ah! My, isn’t she stunning?”

Dressed simply in a sleeveless white shirt and jeans that fit her just right; very light make-up that enhances the glow of her face. Straight, dark hair that falls over her shoulders. She goes to the counter to place her order, not minding how Kaminari instantly goes whey and almost messes everything up.

“Yeah, she is,” Ochako admits with just a smidgen of sour in her voice. She watches as Yui regards the grenade-matryoshka bomb at the counter with prolonged interest, opening and closing the doll as if it’s the most amusing thing in the world.

Huh, she thinks, seeing the unmistakable smile on the other girl’s face. So she can do something else with her mouth…

She reprimands herself for sounding so mean, and goes back to sipping her cold brew.

The door chimes as another person enters the cafe. She doesn’t look up, not until she hears Eijirou cough, and Yuuga hum in surprise.

Ochako almost doubles over herself, when she sees the scene in front of her.

Todoroki Shouto looks mildly out of breath, like he ran on the way there. His coat is slung over his arm, and when he reaches out to touch Yui on the shoulder, she turns and stares at him as if she’s expecting him to be there.

“What the,” Eijirou mumbles, looking at Ochako with more than just a little concern.

They exchange very sparse words, and pick a table at the other, more intimate end of the cafe. They don’t seem to notice that they are there. When they sit, Shouto’s back is to them. Yui’s face is visible from Ochako’s vantage point, if she peeks over the other customers’ shoulders.

“Well… this is quite étrange ,” Yuuga whispers to her, conspiratorially. “Did you know about this, mon enfant? ”

She numbly shakes her head and keeps an eye on them from a distance. Yui seems to be saying, thank you for meeting me here, Todoroki-san. You must be busy.

Eijirou reaches out for her hand. “Baby, you okay? Maybe we should go there and say hi? You know, it could be nothing, and...”

Ochako shakes her head again, and watches Shouto’s head move a little as he speaks. The heroine replies with a curt nod. There are plenty of words being exchanged--she misses a lot of the words being said, and barely deciphers, I understand. For your family though, this might be important.

The blonde turns to her with a questioning stare. “ Mes amies, Ochako doesn’t look so well, perhaps we should leave instead, let her have some fresh air--”

“Shush, you two,” she snaps, a little too sternly than she means. Her two friends flinch and look down. She’ll say sorry later, but now she can’t feel any sense of apology, she can’t feel anything--

Okay, Yui says, an odd look in her eyes. Her mouth doesn’t move from its usual straight, impassive line. She says something that Ochako can’t quite catch, and then--

I want to hold your hand.

Shouto freezes. Ochako freezes even more, because Yui reaches out and holds his right hand, and he doesn’t stop her, and she says something in such a low voice, her mouth barely moving, like it’s a secret between the two of them, and Shouto leans forward, says something back, and--

“Babe.” Eijirou’s tone is sharper now, sharp enough to cut through the panicked haze that her head is suddenly lost in. “Ochako. Look at me.”

She does just that, and wonders why his face is suddenly so hazy and why it’s hard to breathe. When she inhales, it’s shaky, and an ugly sob wants to escape from her open mouth. She doesn’t let it though, she focuses on the way Eijirou is holding her hand and the way Yuuga is patting comforting circles at her back, keeping the sounds at bay.

“Let’s get you out of here, okay?” the redhead says softly. He shimmies out of his hoodie and places it on top of her shaking head. “You don’t have to say anything, we’ll just get you through the back exits, get you some fresh air--”

“ Oui, ma petite chérie, ” Yuuga adds, dabbing her cheeks with a paper napkin and glaring at the other tables, who begin to stare. “We’ll take care of you, do not worry.”

“Okay,” she hiccups stupidly.

They make it outside somehow, away from prying eyes. Ochako guesses and hopes that the faraway table doesn’t notice them and her and her stupid tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. Eijirou drives her home, with Yuuga tagging along, sitting in careful silence.

In her tiny apartment (the one Shouto doesn’t even want to step into, ahhh it makes more sense now), she allows her friends to sit herself down on the floor, wrap a blanket or two around her, play her favorite songs. Yuuga fusses about her bare kitchenette and somehow comes out with a cup of hot cocoa, while Eijirou sends an SOS to Mina and Hanta to come after their shift, if they can.

They ask her to talk, in turn. About her and Doctoroki, if there were any problems, if there were any signs. Because, social media aside, come to think of it, her friends don’t know a thing about the two of them. “I mean, I see you guys eat together at work sometimes, but I… haven’t seen you two talk up close. Except that time in the locker,” Eijirou says as gently as he can.

She shakes her head. Keeping up appearances is hard enough to do for the crowds and Shouto’s family. “We haven’t been… talking a lot.”

They never did get back to talking about their IRL talk. They ask why, and the urge to tell her closest friends about the fake dating scheme wells in her chest like a dam about to break, but she stops herself on time. Still, she can’t give another reason other than being busy. Eijirou and Yuuga look at each other and sigh in unison.

“Whatever is going on, mon cher,” Yuuga says, after they carefully try to wheedle more useless details from her, “You two simply must talk. Yes?”

Ochako sniffles and says, “But… talking is hard.”

She’s afraid of admitting to Shouto that she feels hurt, even though by all accounts she doesn’t have the right to. Especially when Shouto did all this in the first place ‘so no-one gets hurt’.

Eijirou laughs and ruffles her hair, like the brat that she is. “Yeah. It is. But I don’t think you’ll feel any better just not talking about this right?”

She buries her face in her fluffy blankets and whines.

Todoroki Shouto (1756H): Good work today. The patient we operated on is recovering really quickly.

Todoroki Shouto (1758H): Are you on your way home?

Me (1805H): ya i am. In mina-chans car

Todoroki Shouto (1806H): Okay. Let me know when you’re safe at home.

Me (1810H): …

Todoroki Shouto (1812H): …?

Me (1814H): why

Todoroki Shouto (1820H): …

Todoroki Shouto (1821H): I’d like to know that you made it home without anyone causing you harm or threatening you.

Todoroki Shouto (1822H): I don’t want a repeat of what happened in Shizuoka.

Me (1825H): ah. ya that makes sense

Todoroki Shouto (1829H): Are you all right, Ochako?

Me (1830H): yeah i am

Todoroki Shouto (1831H): You sure?

Todoroki Shouto (1832H): Please be honest with me

Todoroki Shouto (1832H): Whatever is bothering you, I’d like to know. I’d like to help.

Me (1834H): Doctoroki

Me (1837H): Shouto, I mean

Me (1838H): When should we break up?

#todoocha #todochako #shouchako #peony pink and cherry blossom tea #cafe/hospital au #todoroki shouto #uraraka ochako #shindo yo #setsujirou #tokage setsuna #jirou kyouka #kirishima eijiro #aoyama yuuga #kodai yui #angst ahhh #sorry

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