#anyways the meeting continued

[yuesya]

“Cursed? What do you mean, cursed?”

Sanemi narrows his eyes at the blue-eyed, white-haired girl. The one who’d just wandered in and said that Oyakata-sama wasn’t sick, but cursed instead, with the sort of tone that indicated what she’d said was supposed to be obvious.

Your oyakata-sama isn’t sick. He’s cursed.

… The hereditary illness plaguing Oyakata-sama’s bloodline was one that constantly, incessantly ate away at their body, causing their health to deteriorate at a rapid rate. All children of the bloodline died young –and yet, it did not prevent each and every one of them from devoting themselves to the never-ending war against man-eating demons.

Sanemi was aware that Oyakata-sama’s health was… deteriorating. Rapidly, even, which was not something that he liked thinking about. And yet, it was a fact that all demon slayers were forced to face, because it was the cold reality in front of them.

“Your oyakata-sama is cursed,” the strange girl repeats herself, far too calm and uncaring for Sanemi to be at ease with her presence. “I presume that’s why you’re looking for a sorcerer.”

… A what?

The nonsensical word throws Sanemi off-kilter for a moment. Judging by the faint confusion that he can see on his fellow Pillars around him, Sanemi is not the only one with this reaction.

“A sorcerer… is that what you are?” If Oyakata-sama is surprised, his level voice does not betray a single hint of it. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that term. What you say is true; a curse has befallen my bloodline. The priests said that a demon had been born of our blood. And until the demon is dead, no child shall survive into adulthood.”

“I see,” the girl says, summarily polite, her expression unmoving.

“The reason why we’ve been searching for you is because you killed a demon,” Oyakata-sama continues. “Without use of a nichirin blade, and in the dead of the night –you killed a demon. Upper Moon Three, to be precise.”

The girl tilts her head, “Upper Moon?”

… She didn’t even know what an Upper Moon was? Was she being serious?

Sanemi watches, faintly incredulous, as Oyakata-sama pauses briefly… and proceeds to explain what the Moons are to her.

The Demon Moons are the most powerful demons under Kibutsuji Muzan’s command, their hierarchy measured and separated into different ranks based on strength. Upper Moons, and Lower Moons.

“… and demons, with their high regenerative abilities, are impossible to kill unless they are either decapitated, or exposed to sunlight.”

All of this should be common knowledge for a demon slayer. But her lack of knowledge about it… reminds Sanemi of himself, in a way. Back when he’d first started hunting demons, that is. He hadn’t had a clue what he was getting himself into, but he’d known that demons existed and devoured humans –and so he’d attempted to kill what demons he could, fighting them with mundane tools and relying on sunlight to burn them to ashes.

If he hadn’t been found by a demon slayer who inducted him into the corps and got him proper training, Sanemi would’ve gotten himself killed by his own recklessness, eventually.

But… evidently the same did not hold true for this girl. Who was somehow able to kill demons without either sunlight nor nichirin steel.

How?

How was something like that even possible?

“You want me to kill demons for you,” the girl’s voice is distinctly unimpressed. And the phrasing of those words is enough for Sanemi to gnash his teeth and scowl, because what did she mean by that–

“Demons are a danger to all humans!” he snaps at her. “Don’t talk as if Oyakata-sama is–”

“Yes.”

Sanemi whirls around, aghast. “Oyakata-sama!”

“It’s alright, Sanemi.” Though faint, there is still an ever-present smile curled over Oyakata-sama’s lips. “Whether it’s for me, or for anyone else… that is what I’m asking of her. With the skills she has shown, she would be a valuable ally in finally eradicating the King of Demons once and for all.”

“Why should I help you?”

The words themselves are arrogant, condescending, and yet none of it shows in her voice. If anything, the girl’s voice is as calm and neutral as ever in sharp contrast to what she’s saying, and–

“Is there anything that you desire?” Oyakata-sama asks.

“…” Blue eyes stare out at Oyakata-sama, unreadable. “… A binding vow. I’ll kill your demons for you, and you help me find a way home.”

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[jeeaark]

my mind has gone FERAL for GG's glorious future. BUT, I must know... What convinced Lae'zel to try an extra serving of calamari?! did Emps have to plane shift to save GG and just *Destroy* a bunch of enemies or something??

Oh man, That question brought out the big muse-a-lot hammer. But for like. Different answers. The Bad News: I have NO idea! Absolute zilch what specific moment would make Lae'zel go "Open-Minded-flayer Take #2". Maybe it's not even an exact moment. Maybe it's more like a very long and arduous slow-burning process. A very enemies to rivals to mutual allies to friends-who-won't-admit-they're-friends to I'll-think-about-it to count-me-in. A very 3-4 character developing campaign arc. The Good news: I know what starts them down that path.

Oh the shenanigans. Oh the things that can exist in the Far Realms where time doesn't exist and endless AUs do.

So what if Greygold accidentally meets their evil ending self and gets in an unfortunate predicament where Babe and Squid bud have no choice but to...Partner up to rescue them?

More shenanigans below:

Stakes are set. Maybe Greygold escapes, but can't return home without Grey following and is in hiding. Maybe they're bait and traps are set. Maybe they're dead (temporarily???). Maybe they're both having an intense therapy debate about redemption arcs until they're rescuers arrive. Greygold Mind Games Go.

The long story explanation: Greygold had never invested more into the marketing strategist business mindset than to turn their favorite romance novel, Tusk Love, (comic inside joke) into a pop culture hit. Emps lost a bet that they could succeed and now is following through with their not-so-innocent deal to use Greyg's trusted "adventurer" as their official public disguise.

Since the romance novel Tusk Love is now a popular theater play, Emps' public disguise keeps getting mistaken for that " one pretty tusked fellow on the bestseller novel (which recently updated their book cover with an anonymously commissioned illustration which looks suspiciously identical)" and never fails to receive an abundance of compliments. Emps has reserved the right to remain silent about the whole matter, but is pretty sure Greygold pulled a 'get praised, squiddiot' prank.

Lae'zel is gonna catch up on a lot of Squid Bud facts on this trip. Much to Squid Bud's dismay.

The irony is if Emps asked Minsc for help first, this adventure would have been solved within a day tops.

[shreddeddescent]

how raph's run goes after the disaster (prev) (next)

[astralzeraphias]

maybe i came too early, maybe i came too late

i’m waiting in the shadows of the scaffolds of the old cafés where you told me to wait

[miumiins]

[socksandbuttons]

hilsrious that eclipse gets mad solar steals the job of being SO LOVED by the fam

then solar gets mad eclipse is also a theatre attendant-

[ministarfruit]

anyway, THEM⬆️

[thegreatyin]

okay. so.

if you asked the scoundrel what her name (and by name, i mean her title as mr cards) translates to in correspondence, she'd show you this sigil:

assigned by the masters themselves, of course. she's very proud of it. she'll flaunt it to anyone and everyone who makes the mistake of asking.

the thing is, well. she's wrong. the real translation is significantly different.

it's an insult. an offense. basically the correspondence equivalent of calling yourself butthead. she has no idea what it actually means, and if you were to tell her, she'd probably refuse to believe you. violently.

as for how this mixup even happened, well,

let's just say her coworkers do a little bit of trolling.

[essektheylyss]

Very important news: Jeff VanderMeer signed my writing journal by drawing an arrow to Chuck Tingle's autograph and wrote, "Love IS real!" in agreement.

[frillypenandink]

drawing dump from my school sketchbook

triangle-humanoid bill

my ford and fiddleford designs

them :(

my self insert oc content... as a treat...

also messing with human bill designs even though I tend to prefer the triangle-humanoid form

(NO DICK. NO BALLS. 😛)

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

its funny how the only thing from the undersea that gill seems to be unable to let go of is the idea that he has to be the hero

[cestacruz]

The bonus art on your post about Young!Stanley meeting Bill where he’s standing on top of what I assume is the portal is making me go insane cuz before Mabel intervened in that one episode Stan had a fear of heights and assuming he had it when he was a kid there’s no way Bill doesn’t know about it since he’s in Young!Stanley’s mind and all I can think about is Bill unpossessing Stanley while up there and him panicking and/or freezing up when he comes to his senses and realizes how high up he is and Ford just fucking loosing his mind like “Oh god he’s gonna fall oh god oh god-“

eehehe ehehehehehee stanley better keep his footing when Bill leaves, or else

for angst purposes im making the portal bigger now (? *plays that song that plays in that scene of Avatar when the protag falls from the plane gonna ramble in the tags now thank u

[dailypearldoodles]

Day 534

Yup it's more fma au aha

Decided to go ahead with the idea that Pearl was given a Philosopher's Stone during Ishval, thus also gaining the title The Red Pearl Alchemist for a short time. The stone is returned after the war ends, but later she finds it again in the Fifth Laboratory with Gem

[nachosncheezies]

People like Bill Jr. got all kinds of things wrong about Scully but probably none moreso than thinking it was tragic that Mulder was dragging her along on some descent into madness, when actually the real tragedy was how few of the people she loved ever realized it wasn't a descent.

(It couldn't be bc 1. it's not madness and 2. she was already there.)

[hero-dualies-3]

i can make a tumblr roleplay blog i can talk to any mutual i want as long as their dms are open i could roleplay i could have a fun little chat i am not rendered helpless because of anxiety i can do whatever i want <- lying to itself