#anyways that’s that it’s out of anyone’s control but still

[moonystoes]

Wrong Number - Elisa De Almeida

Summary: When Elisa sends a picture to the girl she was flirting with at the club...except it wasn't the right number.

Warning: ...there is a picture here loll.

A/n: I'm so sorry but this is by far the worst fic I've written, I've tried to do something new and I'm not so confident about it. I still wanted you guys to read it and all the support from the anonymous asks helped me a lot. Thank you!

This picture is NOT Elisa, it is from @/torinha___ on instagram

The loud music was almost making Elisa dizzy. She gave a small nod to Jackie, pointing to the club seats and tip toeing there to make sure she won't bump into anyone. Elisa didn't want to admit it, but she knew she drank too much than she should've. The squad decided to go and celebrate their win against bayern Munich at a fancy bar in the south of Paris, but they completely forgot about their early afternoon training the next day.

Sakina was the only sober one, restricting alcohol from her diet because of her faith. And even if Islam permitted drinking, she'd still refuse. She loves being in control and aware of her surrounding environments, and if she gets drunk she'd lose all of the power.

Elisa awkwardly bumped into Sakina's shoulder, giving her a soft wave before settling down next to her, "oh my God we are so done for tomorrow, he will kill us."

"He will kill you, not us," she reminded Elisa, "it's okay, just stop drinking or else you'll make tomorrow worse."

"Yeah thanks Saki," Elisa gave Sakina a weak thumbs up as she twisted her body to the table, "I'll just drink water from now on."

Sakina patted Elisa's back as she turned to glance at the other girls. She hates the smell of sweat and drinks, but she loves hanging out with the girls. She can see Jackie and Eva dancing, as well as Clare twirling around... obviously too drunk to even care about how crazy she looks.

When she turned to her left, she noticed a woman staring at Elisa. She wasn't sure if she should let Elisa know about it, or just stay quiet and see if the woman will do anything. But she saw her take quick steps towards the both of them, and that caused Sakina to panic and turn the other way.

"Hey," a sultry voice hit Elisa's ear, feeling a hand squeeze her shoulder. She turned around to see who it was, and she was stunned for a minute by the beauty of the woman.

It's been a while since Elisa had gotten the attention of a girl that way. Even though she's been getting popular on social media, it feels as though her dating life has disappeared. Her last relationship ended because of the distance (her moving from montpellier to psg), and even that relationship was short anyways and ended awfully.

And when she tried dating apps, it seems as though her dates never work. Awkwardness fills both sides, and they ultimately end up ghosting each other. For a second, she tried convincing herself that it's for the best...so she can focus on football only. But now she is getting a little humiliated by all of this. Even her teammates make jokes about it (Eva laughed after Elisa opened up about her dating history, then proceeded to say she has '0 rizz').

She glanced back to the glass of water in front of her, then back to the woman in front of her. Maybe she should try this one more time, it won't hurt anyone...besides, everyone is drunk and if she embarrassed herself she'd probably forget about it anyways.

"Hey sweetheart," she smiled back, as she chugged the cold water, hoping it will make her sound less drunk than she is.

But when she glanced back at the stranger, she noticed her face was in complete shock, "oh my God, you're a girl?!"

"Haha...yeah, does that bother you?" Elisa gets this a lot in situations like this. In pure daylight, it's obvious she's just a masculine woman. But in dark clubs filled with drunk people, some visions get blurred. She just hoped that the women that try and flirt with her are actually attracted to women.

"Oh...no it doesn't," she gave a soft smile, her hand softly moving from Elisa's shoulder to the nape of her neck, delicately squeezing the tough muscle in there, "I just didn't know you were a girl and your voice caught me off guard."

Sakina was glaring at the stranger, having to see Elisa fall into the same trap everytime. She knew Elisa was desperate for some love (she does get laid apparently...well, that's what she tells Sakina), and this causes her to end up being in sticky situations with many straight women.

"My name is Sophie by the way," she raised her little champagne cup to Elisa, stepping closer to her to the point where her body was between Elisa's legs.

"Hey Sophie, I'm Elisa," She grinned at her with a wink, she lifted her right hand and placed it on Sophie's waist, "no work tomorrow?"

"Ew don't bring work here I'm trying to escape it," she fake gagged, placing the champagne glass on the table and placing her other hand on Elisa's thigh.

Usually, Elisa would freak out by the amount of physical touches she's getting. Especially by someone who she met not even a minute ago, but Sophie was an attractive woman...and that made her lose all the self respect she had and allowed her to do whatever she wants to her body.

She giggled at what she said, "Yeah me too."

"Your muscles are great, I've never seen a woman like that before," Sophie looked down as she tapped Elisa's tough quads, making sure that they're real.

Yeah because you haven't seen women in the first place,

Sakina thought as her blood started boiling, maybe she was being too much. Maybe Sophie was actually not straight and Sakina had been a bitch this whole time. But it doesn't matter, what matters is that Elisa is definitely too drunk to actually thinking appropriately.

"Yeah?" Elisa smirked at Sophie, she lifted up her sleeve and flexed her bicep, looking at Sophie's dropped jaw.

"Oh wow, that's the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Elisa burst out laughing, she knew if she can continue with the flirting she can possibly end up in a bedroom. The way Sophie was approaching her was definitely strange, but she did love the attention. And anyone who compliments her hard work in the gym makes her feel confident and cocky.

Sakina was grabbing her head with both of her hands, she wanted to pull Sophie away and drag Elisa home. She glanced up to check up on Jackie, Eva, and Clare. And she saw them cleaning up the little table they were using.

Alhumdulillah, Sakina thanked god realizing that she will be driving them home now.

"Psst, Elisa we're going now." She tapped Elisa on the shoulder, making sure she won't touch Sophie's clingy hand.

Elisa glanced back to Sophie with an evident pout, "sorry, I gotta go...can I get your number? we can finish the conversation there."

Her hand kept delicately squeezing Sophie's waist, waiting for a response from her. Sexting wasn't something she did, but she had some experience with from the long distance relationship that didn't last 2 months.

Sophia stood there slightly speechless, contemplating whether she should actually give out her phone number to Elisa, or run away from this embarrassing day.

"Okay, give me your phone and I'll type it."

Unknown Number

This is how it looked under the shirt 😉

You huffed as you stared at the 11:59 on your computer screen. Working is always exhausting, but the paycheck makes it enjoyable. Your eyes were slightly burning from staying on the computer for too long, and it makes you feel way older than you knew you are. You were hoping time would move quickly so you can start your lunch, but a sudden ding came from your phone.

You glanced at Jasmine, your coworker, as she gave you a shrug, "check your phone, I don't think anyone will care. I mean lunch is gonna start in 29 seconds...no 28...no actually 27."

You sighed as you pulled your phone out from your purse, but froze when you saw a notification from an unknown number. You rarely get these texts, especially after the cybersecurity course you took that left you traumatized. But something from this made you curious, for sure now as an adult you can think maturely when texting strangers. Maybe it's an important message or someone who needs help.

You pressed on the notification, and gasped. Turning off off your phone, you stared back at computer screen, moving the mouse around making sure you finish your job.

"Damn you really wanna finish all 60 seconds. 16...15...14." Jasmine laughed at your nonchalant face.

You frustratingly pulled you phone back, reading the texts again. You are an adult now! You can tell them off. What if they're a hacker and they'll get into your personal data and leak all of your pictures? You glanced back at the picture as your face flushed, damn even if it's gross and weird to send strangers pictures like this...you were guilty for finding whoever this person may be attractive.

Maybe they accidentally sent it to the wrong number,

??

This is Elisa from the club last night haha

Elisa? That's a girl name right? You closed your eyes, now you're definitely guilty for finding her attractive. You were so single that a nude picture from a random masculine woman is making your face turn red. You looked back at the picture, not knowing how to respond.

Wrong number

I didn't go to a club last night

Sorry x

I'm pretty sure the person would've loved that picture though

Seen 4 minutes ago

Elisa screeched as she saw those texts, throwing the phone away in the locker room. Sakina turned around horrified from the scream, "Eli, what's wrong!"

"Saki kill me," she dropped her face into her hands as she lightly sobbed. Her right leg was twitching up and down as she sat down on one of the locker room seats.

Sakina placed her hair brush in her locker as she sighed from Elisa's dramatic behavior, "oh come on...what did you do?" But when she turned to look at Elisa, her dameanor turned serious. Elisa's face was bright red, eyes filled with tears and eyebrows furrowed.

She stepped towards Elisa worriedly, looking at Elisa's phone laying on the ground. She walked towards her phone, trying to see what even happened.

"No!" Elisa jumped up and grabbed her phone, hiding it into her chest, "Saki I made a stupid mistake."

"You're scaring me, just tell me what you did." Sakin came closer to Elisa, pushing her back into sitting.

"Do you remember Sophie from yesterday?" Elisa guiltily looked down as she whispered to Sakina.

Sakina rolled her eyes, "yes...I do remember her."

Elisa sighed again, this time in frustration and humiliation, "well...I guess she gave me a fake number," she looked back at Sakina's angry face, but right when she was about to response, Elisa interrupted her, "Sakina I sent a naked picture to some random girl...or worse, fuck that could be a man!"

Sakina's jaw dropped to the ground as she heard what Elisa did, but Elisa interrupted her again, "please don't lecture me about it. I know, I swear I know."

She gave Elisa a tight smile, pulling her in a hug to comfort her, "it could be a girl, and she could be cute and sweet and would actually like you. Maybe God made this a chance for you to find your one."

Elisa took a deep breath, trying to calm down her beating heart. It's not the end of the world, she can just block that number and pretend this never happened, or she could try and talk to the stranger. Maybe sakina was right, "Yeah...you're right. I should put my trust on God for this one, and if it was a 60 year old man I will blame it on him."

Sakina slapped Elisa's shoulder sarcastically, "actually you're the one who decided to send a nude picture to a random person...maybe you're the one to blame here," Elisa covered her face again with her hands, raising her face to the sky as she was mumbling some prayer, "Besides...can I see what you sent her?" Sakina winked as she tried to take Elisa's phone, now placed between Elisa's thighs.

Elisa opened her phone and showed her the texts, but Sakina's loud laughter made her shut it down and turn away from her, "God you're so bad at texting...what type of opening is that? I think she's a girl, a guy won't text that way right?"

Elisa shrugged, opening her phone again and tapping on the chat to text. It could be a girl right? It has to be, or else she will kill herself and disappear.

What if she's a fan and leaks the picture? A thousand thoughts were in her mind, so she decided to just text the stranger a small apology.

Omg

I'm so sorry

I should've sent a message first

I'm gonna kill myself 😭😭

Haha, no it's okay!

At least it's not a 😼 picture

And you have a great back!

That's a girl... definitely, right? Elisa blushed at the compliment, hiding her face away from Sakina not wanting another lecture.

Thanks

Sorry for bothering you I'm pretty sure you didn't want to see this on a Tuesday afternoon

I'm just glad it's lunch break now

Also sorry about the whole wrong number thing I'm pretty sure you're bummed about it

Yeah I thought we were getting along pretty well

I'm just confused on why she gave me a wrong number

She was the one who approached me

:((( well at least you made my lunch break better

Oh yeah?

I'm glad

Wait you're working right? Not a student 💀💀

Lollll yeah I'm 25

What about u?

26

What kind of work do you do?

My desk :((

I'm a financial analyst

That sounds way fancier than it it I swear

Seen a minute ago

"Elisa what are you smiling about?" Sakina turned around suspiciously, now her hair braided.

"Oh nothing," she shrugged sakina off, turning away so Sakina can't see her face. But she sighed loudly, realizing that she needed Sakina's advice, "she's definitely a girl. And around my age, that's good, right?"

Before Sakina could leave the locker room, she stood at the door and softly said, "be safe Elisa...and no more nude pics to her, please."

Elisa huffed out in embarrassment and nodded, glancing back at her phone to text you back.

Oh wow we're sending pics now?

Why is it sad 😔

Babe you already did send pics

I tried decorating it but I gave up in a day

Oh yeah

Haha

Sorry again

Can I get a face pic :)

Only if you do

No way

Why not ☹️☹️

Cuz I just started texting you

But why do I have to

Ma'am you just sent me a picture of your bare back

I promise a face picture is nothing compared to that

😭😭😭

Ohh god

you're never gonna forget that

You don't have to

I just wanna match a face to the body ;)

"Fuck." Elisa whispered, you were good at convincing and she knew that if you asked her for another nude picture her nïave self would have sent one again.

She looked up to the sky and closed her eyes, "please don't make her some old man that's lying."

There was also a small feeling of anxiety in her, she knew that if things got awkward she can immediately block you and move on. But what if you recognize her? Would you leak that photo to the internet? She groaned out and responded, women's football isn't even that big anyways.

Okay

Is this from today?

No yesterday

Seen 2 minutes ago

You bit your lip, turning your seat away from Jasmine not ready for the questionnaire she'll make if she sees you like this.

Elisa is beautiful. No...she's hot and sexy and all of those words combined. You slowly faced Jasmine again, "Hey Jasmine... I need an advice."

Jasmine stopped drinking her hot tea as she glimpsed at you, "what for?"

You whined loudly as you threw your phone towards her, "this unknown number sent me a message accidentally, but turns out she's a hot girl."

Jasmine choked on her drink when she saw the selfie Elisa sent, "Oh my God! Oh my God y/n, do not fuck this up!"

You stared at her stunned, "so...you're not worried about how unsafe this is?"

Jasmine zoned out to think, but she glanced back at you, "well...don't give her personal information, and try to find more about her," she returned your phone back to you, "Ugh...smash. I can't believe how lucky you got...wait! You can put her picture on pinterest or Google search and it will tell you if she's catfishing you!"

You turned to look at the picture on your phone again, you knew Jasmine was right about that hack. But you didn't want to keep Elisa waiting. For some reason, there is a feeling in you that this isn't some random person catfishing...that Elisa is real.

You look really tan here

And cute

Elisa let out a small giggle at the cute comment. What if she means cute as in a friendly way, not attractive cute? Ughhhh everything is frustrating!

I get tan a lot for my job

And sweaty

Oh?

Why am I getting worried 😭

What do you mean sweaty

I will support you no matter what elisa

You're so dirty minded

I'm just an athlete

That's it

So naughty

Seen 2 minutes ago

"Ugh!" You shut your phone off and placed your head on your desk exhaustedly, "she said 'so naughty'... that's awful."

Jasmine cackled loudly at what you said, "if it was a guy it would be cringe. But it's not, so it's hot."

--

Elisa sent that message while standing on her tippy toes. She knew that her flirting skills are below average. She was staring at the screen hoping for a small message, but Eva came into the room making Elisa freak out and throw her phone in the locker.

"Hey Elisa, everything okay?" She worriedly glanced at her as she brought out her phone, "I'm gonna go and film a tiktok with Jackie. You should go to the gym room or else you'd get in trouble."

Elisa stopped 'adjusting' her hair in the mirror and nodded to Eva, "oh yeah... I go there in a minute."

Eva laughed at Elisa's accent and tapped her shoulder as she left the room. Elisa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, until she heard a small ding from her phone.

Sorry lunch break is over

You're the one who sent me a nude pic

OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP

I have to go training now anyways

Talk to you later

Stranger

Bye bye Elisa

Have fun xx

It was 3 pm when you waved goodbye to your coworkers, exhausted and ready to go home. You were thinking about Elisa, you knew you had to quick search that picture to make sure you weren't getting fooled.

Once you reached your little studio apartment, throwing your bag on your couch and laying there. You weren't expecting anything when you went on pinterest and placed her selfie on quick search. But to your surprise, the same selfie was on there too.

You instantly sat up on your couch, no way... I'm actually getting catfished. You tapped on the post and saw the name 'Elisa de Almeida' as the caption.

Is that her full name?

Guilt was consuming your heart, you felt as though you were 'cheating' for searching her name on Google instead of just asking her.

Whatever, you'll search later. You will just text her and get to know her that way.

You do training for what?

You turned off your phone and went to the kitchen to make a quick lunch meal, not expecting her to respond quickly. But your phone's notification was heard, and you ran to the couch to grab it. Damn, she texts fast.

For my job

What's your job :(

I told you mine

I play football

And get paid for that

Elisa was on her couch when she heard a new message from you. She had been waiting for you to start the conversation, since she had no idea on how to text women.

When she saw the question, she frowned. She doesn't like to introduce her job to people no matter how much she's proud of herself for becoming pro. But she didn't want to lie, and maybe you wouldn't tease her or get overwhelmed and leave her.

Wait professionally??

That's so cool

Yeah

Thanks

I know your number is French but I know that players travel around

Where do you stay

Paris

I'm in my apartment right now

I can't believe you just play football like????

So if I search your picture online I can see what team you're in?

Yes but I'd rather me say it

Oh...too late I'm sorry 💔

Seen 2 minutes ago

Elisa jumped up, fucking hell!

She stared at the black screen of her TV, are you going to be weirded out by her fans? Would that make you leave?

Elisa?

I'm sorry if I broke your privacy for this

My apologies xx

You huffed out a heavy breath, Damn it! You should've talked to her instead of doing this. Now she's probably uncomfortable with you because of this.

No it's okay

I just didn't know people can do that

Yeah haha

This is pinterest

And you can do that on Google too

That's how I know the names of the weird plants around my building

I'm really sorry if it made you weird

It's okay I guess I just wanted to lie to you and joke about my career but I forgot I'm kinda famous

Oh wowww

Were you going to lie that you're the female Messi or what

Wait if that picture was from yesterday, your fans are quick 😭

I actually prefer Ronaldo

Yeah sometimes they scare me

Ew not him

What type of fans do you have

The thirsty kind

They're nice and make cool edits of me

Sometimes violate my personal space but that's what you get when you're in public ig

Ohh I'm so sorry

Omg i just realized how scary it would've been if I were one of your fangirls and you sent me that nude pic 😭😭😭

Lolll 😂😂

I was freaking out for a while when I found out you weren't the girl

Aren't you happy that you found me though 😁😁

I am

You're pretty cute

Even when you refuse to show me how you look

Elisa :(((

I can't do it just yet

I know

I understand that

Where do you live

That's not a safe question to ask 🤨🤨

I live in Paris too

Just the unknown quiet side

That's cute

Pretty chill and tourists don't bother you

Do you live in a fancy apartment or with your family

A studio apartment

Gotta save my money to spoil my future wife

Wife?

Are you gay?

Elisa please if I weren't gay I would've blocked you and moved on with life

Elisa smiled brightly when she read your message, does that mean you're interested in her?

Good

Because I'm gay

I don't think it's hard to figure that out

But I'm glad you're comfortable with me knowing about it

It's easier when it's texting

It would've been harder in real life

I think if I saw you in real life I would scream GAY

Oh wow

I would've done the same thing

Nuh uh

Yuh uh

I would've also asked you out

If I wouldn't be shaking from anxiety

Really?

Am I your type

YES??

I don't think you understand the panic I had in my office when you sent me the pic of your face

Good

Now I wanna see you

Elisa stop

Sorry

No I'm sorry

I can send you a picture of my face

But

I need abs selfie

??

Hmm...I'm conflicted

I'm just kidding

Unless

Hmm

I wanna see you so bad

Okay calm down

Don't put your hand under your panties

HUH

Do you wanna meet up

That's kinda unsafe

I could be a catfisher

But are you though?

I can't believe a catfisher can text like this 🙈🙈

😭😭😭

You're so cute

And now that you mentioned us meeting

It makes texting you even harder

I'm on my bed now

Oh??

Do you need help with something?

...

Depends on what you can offer

Chocolate 🍫

Oh I was expecting something else

But I'd take it

I'm gonna sleep

Good night

Stranger

Good night Elisa

Dream of me

X

Elisa stared at the message you sent with a smirk on her face. It's been scary how fast the pace of your conversations is, but she was happy. It meant that the both of you guys are comfortable texting each other. She shut the phone off and stuffed her face into the pillow, dreaming of the one and only...'stranger'.

It's been a week and I still don't know your name

Xoxo gossip girl

Actually

I never watched that show

Please 🥺🥺🥺

You've seen my bare back and face

And locker room

And my TV

And the gym

Toes

You basically have seen everything

Maam

I was just gonna say it

It's y/n

I wanna see you 😔

You basically know my whole schedule

Yeah you're gonna go buy groceries today

Stop stalking me 😟😟

You don't have training today

You have a match

Turn off the phone and get ready

It's just 12pm??

The match is at 7

When do you have to get ready

We have to be there around 5

We're gonna be wearing suits today 🕴🕴

OMG

Show me to me rachel

Send it to me pleaseee

What

Who the fuck is rachel

Idk if I'll be free and send you a pic

Usually I turn off my phone before

It's a tiktok trend

Oldie

Ohh

I prefer instagram

Are you liking other women posts while texting me???

Whore

Give me your Instagram account and I'll like every post 😘😘

No don't say that I have pictures from when I was 14 there

Oh nvm maybe not every post

Wait why do you have posts from back then 😭😭

Your account sounds like a mess

Because I looked cunty in the pictures?? Besides my account is private and I have like 60 followers only

What about you?

What about me?

How was younger you?

I don't wanna talk about younger me

Nooooo

Please

I'm pretty sure you looked so cute 🥺🥺

Wait some of your fangirls probably have pictures

Ughh

Fine

Go and look on pinterest or whatever

if you don't want me to know it's okay

i was joking xx

no me too

its okay

you've seen my back i dont think baby me is that bad

go ahead

your back is not bad what are you talking about ;)

THATS YOU?

stopp you looked so cute

OMG

No

Not this

Omg in my defense my ex gf at the time thought I was hot here

Pleasee I probably would be blushing too if I were her look at you 🥺🥺

YOU HAD A GF AT THAT AGE??

Yeah young love

She was in france for the summer

Like two weeks only and she was brazilian so my dad liked her

...your dad?

Ohhh

Wait that sounded wrong

She used to speak with my dad portuguese and he is from portugal

Ohhhh

So he wanted her to teach u?

Yeah but we were busy doing other things

Ew

Stop talking about your ex im gonna get jealous

Im joking

I was too scared to do anything like that

Well actually i did have my first kiss with her

But it was mostly really shy awkward football dates

Elisa im gonna block you shut the fuck up

Wow

What about you

Young love?

I had my first relationship when i was 20 💀

And she CHEATED

Ugh the audacity

Awhh

What awh

You think me getting cheated on is cute

Okay whore

Omg no please no more baby pics

But you looked cute :(((

Baby eli

seen 4 hours ago

Elisa scratched her chin as she eyed Constance, hoping she would start a conversation, "what's wrong? Eli please..." Constance giggled as she saw Elisa's face.

"Awh thank you for asking I was questioning our friendship for a second," Elisa joked, smacking picaud's shoulder, "do you remember the girl from the club?"

"the straight one?" Picaud questioned as she buttoned the suit, trying her best to look presentable.

"the straigh- she was not straight." Elisa froze, looking at picaud's reflection in the mirror.

"Bitch please even Sakina, the straightest girl I know, noticed that," She tapped Elisa's shoulder to comfort her as she cackled.

Elisa felt blood running to her cheeks, was she that drunk not to notice? Maybe that's why she gave you the wrong number. Elisa felt deep embarrassment for not realizing sooner.

"Anyways... I'm sorry about it. What were you going to say?" She starting applying gel to her roots.

"Ugh... you're going to laugh at me even more now," Elisa rolled her eyes and contiuned buttoning her dress shirt, completely ignorning the concerning glance Constance is giving her, "Okay fine! She gave me a wrong number... and I accidentally... well not accidentally, I actually meant it...sent her a nude picture. A picture of my back, and it was another girl that's gay and around our age and she also lives here in Paris. Anyways, I just want to ask her out but I keep sounding like a cat in heat on how desperate I am and i don't want to scare her."

Constance jaw was on ground listening to Elisa's ramble, "Wait what?! Elisa are you out of your mind? Why the fuck did you send a random number a picture of your back?" She dropped her arms to her sides as she gave Elisa a disappointed look. Elisa turned the other way so Picaud doesn't look at her red face, "Oh my god are you hiding from me? Look at least she's a gay girl around your age...that's good, right?"

Elisa didn't respond for a second, "Ugh everyone keeps yelling and laughing at me for what I did...but I swear she's really cute."

Pauline took a step towards Elisa and gave her a tight hug, "Can I see how she looks?"

"I don't know how she looks." Elisa shut her eyes tightly, preparing herself for the 5th lecture of this whole situation.

It was a minute of silence in the bathroom stalls, Picaud thinking of a kind and non-hurtful way to call Elisa stupid while Elisa was thinking of a way to allow you to meet her.

"Ellisa you're the master of how to get catfished 101," She groaned out, pulling away from the hug to look at Elisa, "but...I'm not 100% against it. I think you should just continue letting her expose things about her. Write on your notes everything she says about her personal information and read over it...if things don't match then block her and move on."

Elisa quietly thanked God, no more yelling and shouting at her face. She nodded eagerly at what Picaud said and immediately left the bathrooms. She has to stop being distracted, there is a match happening today and you were the only thing she was thinking about.

That's it??

I wanted to see your face :((

Sorry I have to go now

Love you

I know you're busy

Good luck

Seen 3 hours ago

The players hugged each other, too tired to speak up after the tiresome match. The team won 2 - 0 against Paris fc at parc de princes, and even with the win they knew their performance wasn't the best. It was Chawinga that scored those two, and the rest of the team was lacking a lot chemistry and communication.

Elisa tried her best, but the memory of her losing the ball to the opposing striker keeps haunting her. She knew that Twitter is definitely going to be grilling her for it, and she had made a promise to herself that searching her name on Twitter is not allowed for her mental health.

She remembered you and smiled, at least now she can text you all night without the stress of a match in her head.

Glancing around the stadium, she saw many teenage girls screaming and waving at her to try and get her attention. She gave them a soft smile and waved back, making them scream even louder. Ugh I wish I can get y/n's attention like this.

Hey

The match just finished

I'm sweaty and everyone else is screaming and singing but I wanted to text you

I know

I'm proud of you

I watched you play in front of me and I don't think I've been more proud and attracted to anyone before

Wait

YOURE HERE

Pleaer dobr leave

Please do t

Dnt

Slmt

DONT

😭😭😭

Im staying here baby I'm not going anywhere

I'm going out of the locker room

Where are you

Which section

I'm waving

Wearing a white jacket

Wait why am I looking at a bald man with a white jacket and waving 😟😟

WAIT I SEE HIM

Turn around

Seen

Elisa turned around and had eye contact with you, maintaining it for maybe too long for your comfort. She wanted to make sure it was you, pointing at her phone as she gave you a questioning glance.

Understanding her gesture, you looked down and sent her a message,

that's me :)

Elisa you're scaring me

that's why I didn't send you a picture of my face in the beginning

y/n

Can you come down

ok

The stadium was already empty, having only the ball kids and the cleaners going around and collecting things. You started taking steps down the stairs, getting closer to Elisa as she was standing right on the edge.

"Hey! You're not allowed to get closer!" A security barged near you and placed his palm in your chest, trying to stop you from getting closer to Elisa.

"She's mine, you can leave her." Elisa placed her foot on one of the advertising boards, ready to jump and pull you away from him.

"She doesn't have the right pass, miss." He pushed you backwards, even when you were frozen in place in the first place.

"I don't fucking care what pass she has, I already told you she's mine!" Elisa was fed up with the security man, it's been a long day and having you right in front of her was exactly what she needed, and she won't allow anyone to stop it.

He turned to look at Elisa's angery face, gaving her a timid nod before removing his arm from your front torso.

She sighed as she signalled for you to get closer, "sorry, I'm not usually like this."

"Hey..." You shyly gave her a soft wave, almost like it's the first time you guys have talked.

"Hi," she waved back with a lopsided smile, she couldn't believe that you were hiding this from her, "I don't understand why you didn't want me to know how you look when you look like this."

You jokingly slapped her shoulder away, biting your lip in embarrassment.

"No, seriously!" Elisa had a wide grin, suddenly the win they had today didn't matter. It was you that made her happy. She placed her hands on your cheeks, pulling you in so that your foreheads are touching.

"You played so good, Eli," you whispered to her, you knew looking at her eyes will make you melt into the ground, so you kept your eyes down at her lips, "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, I don't think people on the internet are going to agree though," You wrapped your arms around her broad shoulders to pull her more into you. It was slightly harder because of the board between you, but you managed through.

Elisa pulled away from your hug and bent down, making you confused on what she was trying to do. She placed both of her arms around your waist and carried you, turning around to the other side so you can both hug without anything seperating you.

"I don't care what they say on twitter, I am José Mourinho and I think you're a fast, strong, and a hot player," you spoke in a deep voice pointed your finger at her, making her laugh as she pulled you in again in a tight hug.

"Let me take you out," she murmured under your ear, "I need to take you on a date."

Your face was a blushing mess, it was hard to say no to her. Even when she looked attractive on the selfies, seeing her in real life was something else, "I want to go out with you too, but we're going too fast. We've only been texting for one week."

"Everything was going fast when I started our conversation with that picture, I think we will be fine." Elisa hoped she didn't sound desperate, but she cannot let you go, she will never forgive herself.

You laughed at what she said, placing your hands on her back to feel the muscles from the picture, "okay, let's go somewhere,"

She pulled away slightly to look at your face with a pink blush around her face. Bending down, she gave your right cheek a kiss and hugged you again, "ugh I can't believe you're real!"

[whetstonefires]

Man sometimes I still think about Alfred's Bandit Anecdote in The Dark Knight (2008).

So, the most straightforward reading of this sequence seems to have been the one Nolan intended, because he is not actually a subtle filmmaker, and the further we got into the series the more heavily he committed to making Alfred a mouthpiece. Old man provides words of wisdom that frame the correct understanding of the situation; you can tell it's meant to be correct because subsequent Joker appearances reinforce its thesis statement.

Intended takeaway: some men (like the Joker) don't have rational motivations, they just 'want to watch the world burn,' and you have to account for that when trying to counter them. Chaos agents, basically unstoppable by reasonable means.

But the thing is. This is not a story that stands up to even mild interrogation. The number of assumptions Nolan wants us to swallow without blinking is kind of stunning.

First of all the obvious timeline questions that arise: the Anglo-Burmese Wars and periods between and leading up to them where this kind of white man's burden 'delivering jewels to local elites In The Burmese Jungle to sway them toward British interests, but getting waylaid by bandits' scenario makes any sense all, happened in the 19th century.

The Burmese resistance in the 1930s was centered on university student protests and that sort of thing; it was reasonably successful in moving Myanmar toward independence by increments, though who knows what would have happened without WWII. But it did not provide anyone with reasons to be hand-carrying huge gemstones through forests.

Even if we assume this was somehow a 20th century event, it has to have been before WWII unless we want to postulate a complete alt-history setting, and since The Dark Knight leans heavily into being a modern 21st century story with like, cell phone networking as a major plot point, this still makes Alfred old as balls. Born no later than 1920, and probably earlier.

But that's whatever; comics time. Batman Begins did some fun stuff (possibly in imitation of Batman (1980)) with making it ambiguous what decade it was supposed to be set in, though the sequels dropped that conceit. And anyway, people can be 90 years old.

So that's basically fine, although good god Wayne hire some more servants, this man should be fully retired already.

More problematic is the unfettered colonialism of it all, the confident proclamation that since this guy's motive wasn't profit, since he didn't keep the jewels, he had no motive. Because 'inconveniencing the Raj and weakening their control over the locality' isn't a Real Person Motive that a real person could have had. During or soon after failed wars to resist colonial subjugation.

Like. Come on??

The place where this story utterly shoots itself in the foot, though, is the clever bit at the end, where Bruce asks how Alfred's military unit solved the 'bandit stealing jewels he didn't even want' problem and Alfred's like: 'we burned the forest to the ground.'

Because this is so punchy! In screenwriting technical terms, it's quite well done. It's useless advice that loops the story back to its themes; obviously Batman can't burn Gotham down to get the Joker. Even in a Batman movie that doesn't like Batman very much, this is still obvious.

But at the same time this totally takes the legs out from under Alfred's words of wisdom about human nature. Because if that bandit 'wanted' to 'watch the world burn' then what his unit did wasn't so bad, right; he was basically asking for it. Burning a forest down with all the inevitable collateral damage and economic and ecological cost, all for the sake of horribly killing a group of people in the name of government revenues was totally okay guys!

It transforms the whole thing into a pretty obvious post facto rationalization of colonial violence. Which makes the Insights Into Human Nature bit real questionable!

But the movie gives absolutely no sign of having noticed this.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

horse girl charlie morningstar, her partner in a cool hat and eye patch vaggie, and the Hazbin Horse Rehabilitation Ranch- where shit people are introduced to horses no one else wants and hopefully no one get trampled to death (niffty this means YOU)

other key features include

vaggie riding a small working horse and ppl keep calling it a pony and she keeps telling them It's Not A Fucking Pony

charlie and her beloved mule, who never listens to her

angel dust wanting to learn dressage bc it looks like "fancy sexy riding" and also he was banned from mentioning the words "bare back" or "bucking bronco"

husk constantly found drunk and asleep in his horse's stall while said horse nuzzles him

niffty obsessing over grooming all the horses down to their individual hairs, yes even the bad tempered horses, yes she likes it when they shmoosh her against a wall or step on her foot

alastor looking calm collected and in control on his horse as he wanders off from the group and never participates in activities bc his horse won't listen to him either and he's too proud to admit it

sir pentious keeps trying to make his horse look and preform the best using his own new designs for tack and gear and it always backfires but he's the go-to one if your saddle needs adjusting or fixing

his egg boiz are a flock of chickens

his horse keeps eating the chickens' eggs and he keeps crying over it, even when charlie tells him they wouldn't have hatched into chicks anyway

lucifer lives in a shack somewhere around here with his collection of customized my little pony brushible toys

the locals in the nearest town still talk about lilith's incredible horse whispering skills before she up and vanished

charlie gushes about these stories a LOT but laughs nervously if asked about her own way with horses

she tries.

her way of making sudden loud squees and eeeks and excited yells and wild energetic movements doesn't fit well with most of the horses

she also slips up and gets flaming mad at anything that threatens her family's ranch or anyone who mistreats a horse

angry charlie is Scary Charlie

her mule doesn't care tho it knows she's a pushover treat giver

when vaggie first figured out what was happening she spent weeks with her own horse slowly getting it used to all sorts of weird charlie-related things, including stealing charlie's jacket a few times to flap it wildly while chasing her horse around the paddock singing loud show tunes

vaggie's horse is the only one that'll let charlie ride it without being a nervous wreck

charlie maybe cried a little when she went for that first ride

vaggie has a shot gun

she spends a lot of time checking on things riding far out and alone and keeps the gun with her just in case

she's never actually threatened any of their human boarders with the shot gun but she does have an unnerving tendency to check and clean it whenever she's pissed and trying to keep some shred of her patience intact

every week there's at least one night set aside for an evening dance after dinner and yes chaggie was doing it long before any other ppl showed up

valentino showed up once and charlie chased him off the premises with vaggie's shotgun

the ranch used to have a television

now it has a radio tower

no one except alastor is happy about it but his radio commercial revenue is paying for most of this so they all keep mostly quiet about their grumbling and record voice lines for ads when he looms over them with a script

vaggie swears the time she shot out the radio tower's windows while arguing with alastor over her and charlie's voice lines was a complete accident

razzle and dazzle are ranch dogs who keep track of the horses when they're out grazing and both are COMPLETELY in tune with charlie, been with her since childhood, the three can basically read each others' minds and watching them all work together is like watching magic

(vaggie also knows how to work with them but has to use more obvious signals instead of just tiny changes in body language)

vaggie keeps trying to gently remind charlie there are events for dog handling she could enter in

but the ranch was lilith's passion and rehabilitating rejected horses her dream and charlie is not not giving up on that OR on the rejected people her mom always was so proud of and charlie is NOT letting herself think for one moment that her mom isn't coming home

speaking of coming home

chaggie met when charlie was out riding after a storm looking for a lost horse and found it staring curiously down at a half dead lady lying in a ditch with a freshly gouged out eye and burns on her back

the half dead lady claimed she shot out her own eye by accident and got hit by lightning

or maybe fell asleep on a campfire uhh

charlie was way too busy figuring out normal social interactions again and also how to patch up a pretty lady without being a complete fool about it to question vaggie's super realistic tale

vaggie was planning on staying just long enough to get on her feet again- especially after she started catching feelings watching charlie being sweet with all the stubborn horsies- and seeing how much charlie was struggling with the ranch without having someone else to look after

she was even gonna steal a horse on the way out

and got caught by charlie in the act

charlie just smiled sadly, told vaggie she was glad she wasn't heading off alone, told vaggie's horse to take care of her, and then went back to the daily chores

vaggie caught up with her an hour later

she'd had to properly put her horse away and get breakfast started first, for after they've finished up the morning stuff

they've been running the ranch together ever since

keekee the cat is the actual boss on the ranch and got her name from how doors always open for her (bc she bothers whoever's around until they drop what they're doing to obey her)

cherri bomb stops by once just to laugh at angel dust and ignore pentious but ends up being the only one who figures out why the new horse is spooking at everything- it's got hearing loss, and she's got it too from doing endless unlicensed fireworks shows, and she's totally just sticking around until the horse gets used to things here. totally

[ganondoodle]

(more elden ring radahn thoughts)

on whats really left of him .. and his soul? general too many thoughts about him- long post and probably incoherent, but you know me, im never coherent anyway, many thoguhts, head full, quite literally

in base game, he has lost his mind we are told, and clearly he isnt like he used to be, but we really dont know the extend of it hes clearly capable of fighting rather .. controlled; its not like hes biting and clawing after you, he still uses his swords (and bow, sth he doesnt even have in dlc) and magic, we know even in this condition he held back the stars AND still fought you hard at the same time (i know undead people can still fight in elden ring, pls hear me out)

and i wonder .. how much of his mind did he really lose, obviously some since he eats people now which isnt sth he used to do, but ... we dont know how talkactive he used to be, we get one (two? i can only think of one) quotes from him in the descriptions of an item, he might have been a man of few words already, so him not talking at all isnt that good of a measure (not saying its the only measure, just wanted to mention), resorting to eating people that atack you might just be an act of desperation too

we get told he kills friend and foe alike (and im not questioning that really) but in his cutscene we see him drag along the bodies of cleanrot knights, who are under direct dommand of malenia, and by extend miquella, im guessing they kept sending them after him to finish him off; now knowing that him dying means being sent to the realm of shadow, to miquella, and NOT knowing if he wanted that, i feel that that detail has grown in importance-

when you start the fight, hes rather defensive, shooting at you almost immediately upon you entering the arena with no extra cutscene either, what he shoots at you a long ranged gravitation bolts that stop you dead in tracks with a very high stagger rate and if you are on torrent it stagger you off of it; i know it could be just tactical and bc all he knows now is to fight as best as he can BUT, you could also look at it as a defensive strategy, to keep you away, and away from him .. even though you are not told he is afraid to die and he eats people now, sure he could come over there and snack on you once he shot you enough times, but the important thing is that you as a threat to his life is eliminated AND he doesnt seem to have some sort of insatiable hunger for people that makes him charge and snap at you immediately, there could be self control there still (if i wanted to reach a little further i could also say he could be trying to keep you away from him not jsut to save himself but to save you from him too, but thats a reach and i know that)

once you get close enough he usually changes to fire a salve of arrows that fall from the sky and follows you around, also high in stagger- its only when you get too close that he pulls out his swords and charges at you

his arena is interestign as well, its a piece of land in caelid that is inaccessible (unless you can fly?) from all sides, a barren battlefield only reached through a teleporter, im not sure if it is the same place as when he fought malenia or not (wasnt that in the middle of caelid where you find the rot needle?) but i doubt anyone could have put him there against his will, so did he .. go there himself? or stay there for that matter- how quickly do you lose yourself when infected with rot? and how quickly for him, since hes a demigod? did he intentionally isolate himself there? make it harder to reach him for both friend and foe alike?

another point is that most enemies (as far as i can think of) that are infected with rot/are in caelid also deal rot damage, radahn does not, hes even really vunerable to it in fact, its an intersting detail to me bc he only uses either standard attacks or gravitational magic, given that hes been in this condition for a long time and its caelid id expect the rot to be somewhat important there, but its not

how much has he really lost his mind, is he really as mindless as jerren makes him out to be? is he trying to stay alive no matter what, isolating himself on an (almost) island and only living off what comes there, which is usually people that want to kill him, be it friend or foe, all are out for his life one way or another, could it be defensive ... desperate even? no one but him and miquella/malenia seem to know that him dying means hes put into the land of shadow, where miquella is waiting for him; (why wouldnt he tell anyone? was he not able to? was he afraid to upset the golden order by spilling it out?) could he know that would be the end of him having his own will, knowing what miquella can do to people? ... perhaps even .... having been manipulated by him before when he was less experienced and more in direct vicinity to him, to promise something he doesnt actually want?

this is a reach too but ... could he be trying to make himself unusable for miquella, theres no real cure for the rot, could he have decided to stay alive as long as he can to both destroy his own body (and soul even?) intentionally so it cant be used against his will, like a desperate act to destroy himself rather than become someones unwilling puppet? did he succeed in both somewhat but not enough to become fully worthless and unsalvageable? just how much would he have had to destroy himself for him to become useless to miquella, is there even a limit? would he have been "revived" no matter what, no matter what little was left of him?

how is he mindless, yet his soul it taken when you kill him, his body beyond repair, but his soul intact? that seems like the opposite of what he is, and you are told he is, in the base game to me (maybe hes just fallen into madness i guess, but given the soul is like .. the self, he should be mad in the dlc too then, unless miquella can just pick out the parts he likes and throw away the rest .... which isnt impossible either)

now, there could be the argument that he might have actually agreed to it, hes been a big fan of godfrey, who is a consort to marika, a god, and little more than her pawn as well, his 'young' look you see at the end of the dlc could also be connected to it, the braids i thought where a sign of miquellas influence could also be just how he looked back then, an imitation of godfreys hairstyle- and we dont know for sure he didnt used to have them even after gettign older since they could just have loosened after spending so much time in a zombie lite condition (or is it?)-- but his portrait in volcano manor doesnt seem to have them either, hes also sporting the armor you see in base game (i think) there the fact that, according to godfrey, strength is the only thing that matters and to become a consort you need to be the strongest of all to be worthy, could also be interpreted that way- though i dont if he would have wanted to replace the golden order, he was a fan and follower of it, did he even think of it the implications? did he even know? was he just young and stupid? (very possible tbh)

then theres the idea of there being less left of his soul, so in the dlc he is barely if anything at all, himself, both in body AND soul, how much was there even left after all that time in caelid, he is silent except for like two grunts he does also in base game (he has more sounds there too), completely unexpressive, with very few gravitation magic, in the second phase miquella literally snakes his arms around his neck, almost every single attack is filled with light magic, clearly coming from miquella and not him (i know bringing up leonard might seem overemphasizing his role, but in these games what information you get is very scarce so every bit you do learn is important and was written intentionally- but he stayed together with him in caelid, all his attacks involve him in one way or another, he only started to learn that magic for leonard, so radahn didnt have too abandon him as he got too large to ride him, he uses gravitation in dlc too, so it means that at the point of his life that he is recreated as he already had leonard or that that is a sign of whatever is left of his soul that comes from a much older him, and if it is, its very little) (also this is a reach too but most enemies with horses have separate health bars, he doesnt, he and leonard basically share the same health bar, literally inseperable uwu)

"theres no evidence hes mindcontrolled" people say to me. have you seen him? how he acts? or more, how he DOESNT act? that miquellas entire deal is THAT HE BEWITCHES PEOPLE, ffs he STEALS YOUR HEART if you get grabbed by him twice in the dlc fight- theres no evidence he wasnt either, you are told they had a vow, but you never know what exactly that was, when it was (in the memory of miquella wishing for radahn to be his consort you only see miquella- was it a silly wish between kids tha miquella never grew out of?), in what circumstances, you never get to hear radahn say anything about it, its completely left out, thats a little unrelieable to me! idk!

but fine, maybe he did agree to it, maybe he thought being a consort to a god would make him just as cool as godfrey, maybe he fought malenia, who was said to be undefeated, only to prove he had the strength worthy of being a consort and it backfired when malenia infected him with the rot (why then? also he doesnt look exactly thrilled about what she say to him in the trailer but that could be just me too i guess lolololol), maybe he wanted to die all along but his pride meant he couldnt just let the rot win, maybe the festival was really what he wished for and told no one what the real goal was, maybe he wasnt rotten in the first place and just acted that part so he had an excuse to die without having to fight with all his strength as even the undefeated warrior wasnt able to beat him, maybe becoming a consort to miquella was worth leaving leonard behind to him, maybe he wanted to be nothing but a pawn to a god, to be used and discarded, maybe he really believed in miquellas wish for a "gentle" world (aka all love miquella)

it makes sense, im not going to lie about that, but the other does too- and in the end, we will never know what the truth is! we will never know if that was what he wanted, or if he was manipulated even back then, i wish we could to see his part, his voice, his will, but we never will, and it doesnt matter, in the end it doesnt matter if he wanted it or not, the fact remains hes a silent frankensteins monster of miquella, expression- and personalityless, a voiceless pawn to a god that steals everyones hearts

i dont need to be "right", i like to think about things, i am in the camp of he didnt want to or decided against it, but it doesnt really matter, even if miyazaki himself went onto stage and loudly declared that yes it was all planned from the start and radahn was in on it the whole time- i still would think the other way around it, i jsut think about him alot, i want to question things instead of taking everythign i hear at face value, especially when its very strangely told from one side, i will question every little thing if i only hear one side, no matter how much sense it makes or not, it makes me suspicious

(i some of this can be attributed about purely gameplay stuff, like the change in armor so he doesnt look the same etc, but i dont care, i like to think about the implications it brings with it, intentionally or not)

and there he is in a barren battlefield, eating the remains of whoever enters his isolated cage with the intent to kill him, never succeeding, howling like a lonely old wolf at the sky, is it desperation about a fate he cannot escape, grief about what hes done or failed to do, is it a call of yearning? for freedom?

we dont know. and it doesnt matter.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Manga - Tome 2, Part 1

Even the manga calls them friends!! He is impressed by their bravery and exploits, and it IS natural that he should join forces with them, at least to understand Jiva's strange behaviour.

Personally, I just think he wanted to go on an adventure with Yugo, Amalia, and Eva, but needs to justify it to himself in some more professional and cold way.

Standing there so cutely...

[casually sits on a rock in a cool pose and doesn't talk to anyone or socialize, just staring awkwardly, like a true warrior with 0 social anxiety issues.]

He's so funny, I can't do this anymore.

Show-off.

Casts a sidelong Judgemental Gaze about their landing.

Lands perfectly, just like a cat. Catboy.

Sorry to keep screenshotting panels where he says Nothing, but the longer he does that, the more awkward it gets. Truly, he is a king of socialization.

Of course Joris would be interested in steam engines... It's cute to see him be excited.

Joris puts his hands in his pockets. We now know that his pants actually have pockets + that Joris puts his hands in those to strike a casual — yet still cool looking — pose. You're welcome.

Very Kerubim-core pose of him to do.

Firstly, this is a very good drawing. Secondly, Joris is very serious about travel preparations. Thirdly, he and Eva once again show themselves to be the two sane people of their respective groups.

Besides that, he addresses the multiple elephants in the room: it's bad that a person who is already close to a god even more power, and she might not keep her promise, and even if they use the dofuses against her, they are still probably toast.

Basically, Joris's outlook is one of very realistic pessimism.

Amalia asks him before anyone else. She really looks up to him :)

I'm sorry for being unable to stop screenshotting him. The art of this manga is wonderful. I also love the very cautious way he approaches this interaction. fsjfgsdfa.

Of course he wants to take care of the equipment.

[casually leaves with the group while not looking at anyone and trying to walk as far away from others as he can]

I;'m insane.,

An interesting note: Joris did not walk together with Ruel, Yugo, Adamai, and Pinpin to try his hand at taming the shushu — but he is also not present anywhere near Amalia or Eva. Now me pointing out that he was walking a bit away from everyone seems a bit more poignant.

This guy left them all to quietly go cook some food.

VERY big page for Joris fans. He seems to have been making well-done dragoturkey and soup. While wearing a cute apron. (I really don't think he expected anyone to walk in on him... jgkdsfg. Judging by the size, it's something he brought with him from home.)

This confirms that: Joris likes meat well-done, Joris wears aprons, Joris likes cute aprons, and Joris is used to spats with shushus that control environments and furniture and attempted to use that skill here.

VERY big for me, as a fan of the friendship between Joris and Amalia&Eva. The way they giggle at his misfortune, and the way he doesn't take it to heart... sfgjsdf

This is why I really like the manga, as a fan of Joris. There's a very friendly and domestic side to him shown here.

The way he just Copes and sets the burnt dragoturkey on the table anyway is so funny... He's very nervous about time, and planning, and he is willing to eat something very bad for that reason.

Also! He is helping the girls with their task, instead of trying his hands at taming the shushu — and he was doing this without telling anybody. I'm assuming it's a mixture of him being a friend to Eva and Amalia, of being used to cook for his family (he and Keke both do, but I think Joris does it more often), and just plain not wanting two people to do the job that would be more efficient with three.

Besides that, I just think it doesn't sit right with Joris, for two women (one of whom is pregnant) to do all the cooking.

He is so, so responsible. Also, "a little worried" and "we need to plan for Every Contingency" is a funny combo of words.

Once again, readers, he is "a little worried."

Also, hngnhn. He cares about Yugo's feelings a lot — and he trusts Eva and Amalia enough to say this to them.

Aww, Adamai's "hungryyyy..." is so cute. I'm assuming Joris fretting with the stove is probably him trying to clean it a little after it burned the food.

Joris once again being responsible and asking questions about things immediately.

Joris is the only one not eating or drinking, and while it is relaistic to think he might have eaten before anyone came, I think it's more in character to think that his reasoning is "DO NOT EAT. WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU HAVE HUMAN NEEDS AND WEAKNESSES."

I'm trying so hard to come up with commentary to justify including so many images of him, but I am sad to say, the way he's drawn in this artstyle is far too cute. Just far too cute...

Notably, Joris is the only one who wasn't under the impression that Eva would be staying behind! (BASED, BASED, BASED BASED, B—-)

[solemnvelvetangel]

"Everybody wants a taste, that's why I still get jealous" - BSD jealousy head cannons

Notes:

June 30th, 2024

Characters included:  Atsushi Nakajima, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Chuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Saigiku Jouno.

Word Count: 1,383

Content Warning: Insecurities, anxiety, brief mention of a lobotomy in Fyodor's.

These are purely self-indulgent head cannons of some of the BSD characters I think would be the most jealous in a relationship. Enjoy <3.

___

“I don't like the way he's lookin' at you. I'm startin' to think you want him, too…”

Atsushi Nakajima

As sweet as he would be, I believe Atsushi would be very jealous when it comes to his partner.

Because of years of abuse and neglect he faced in the orphanage he was raised in, he has barely ever had positive attention.

So naturally, as soon as he started to get that positive attention from you, he instantly began to treasure the feeling and became protective over you.

He takes your relationship very seriously because he feels that you’re one of the first people that he was able to form a deep connection with.

So, when he feels like your relationship is being threatened somehow, he starts to feel a certain type of way about it.

He’s not controlling or anything, he just sinks too far into his own thoughts and starts to get really intense feelings of inadequacy.

He will often become visibly distressed when gets too in his own head.

But he’ll deny it until he can no longer hide it.

He has very low self-esteem, so if he thought that someone that he saw as more attractive than him was trying to come on to you, he would probably get really upset and worried.

Especially if it’s a recurring event with the same person.

If someone was straight-up flirting with you in front of him, he’s going to be so annoyed beyond belief.

Passive Aggressive. He’ll try to be polite, but his irritation is going to be clear in his tone.

He mostly bottles up his feelings until he lets them out all at once when you two are by yourselves.

He feels really weak for being a jealous person, but he can’t help but feel it.

“Protective or possessive? Girl, call it passive or aggressive…”

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

… I don’t even know where to start, because this man has so much emotional baggage.

He’s very similar to Atsushi, in which he bonds with someone he cares about deeply and becomes protective.

However, Akutagawa is more overwhelmed by his feelings of inadequacy.

Instead of it just being when he feels like his relationship is being threatened, it is a constant feeling for him.

It only gets worse when he feels like someone is trying to take you from him.

You’re his person, to every extent of the word: his lover, his best friend, the person he trusts the most. You’re his, and he’s not afraid to protect what means to him most.

Calling him “protective” would be an understatement.

He’s more like a terrifying angel of vengeance that looms over you when people get too close for his liking.

People are so afraid of him, that they don’t typically approach you anyway.

He’s not passive aggressive, he is straight-up aggressive.

It’s kind of like this: they make him uncomfortable, so he makes them really uncomfortable.

He gets nauseous if anyone gets too touchy with you. Not out of disgust, but out of anxiety.

He hates when people try to touch him (he doesn’t even like shaking people’s hands for business purposes), but your touch is something he loves and he finds it sacred.

So, if someone tries to touch you too much or in a non-friendly way, he’s going to be very upfront with the person about how feels about it, whether it be through words or by punching them in the face.

He can and will shove someone away from you.

“It’s not your fault that they hover, I mean no disrespect…”

Chuya Nakahara

He’s jealous, but he’s more respectful and mature than most would think.

All of his life, he has never felt human or felt like he could be loved.

So, when you two got together, you became the most important person to him.

He began to fear that someone who is more “normal” than him will catch your attention and you’ll leave him.

He doesn’t really understand why you love him, which just fuels his insecurity.

Him being the host of Arahabaki doesn’t really help his feelings.

He knows that it’s not your fault if people are attracted to you, but he can’t help but feel protective.

He’s jealous in a very quiet manner, despite being so head-strong.

Because of his ability and Arahabaki, he was afraid to touch you for a very long time.

Even if he knows someone is just hugging you platonically, he can’t help but feel bitter because they can hug you so easily without the fear of hurting you.

He’s also jealous of people who have a very calm demeanor.

He feels that he’s often too harsh and rough-around-the-edges, which causes a seed of doubt to be planted in his brain.

In summary, his jealousy stems from his own insecurity of not feeling human.

“You can call me obsessed…”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

When I say he is obsessed, I mean that in every sense of the word.

He’s obsessed. Consumed by adoration. Immensely intrigued by your existence. Enamored, even.

In other words: he is horrendously down bad.

He won’t admit that, though. Even though he’s in love with you, he will always keep you at a certain distance.

That doesn’t make him any less jealous, though.

He knows that being in a relationship with him is anything but normal and it’s difficult, so the possibility of you leaving him because you find someone more expressive with their feelings or more gentle is something he thinks about more than he wants to.

The thought literally haunts him.

He’s naturally suspicious of literally anyone who tries to get close to you, whether it be platonic or romantic.

It’s mostly because of his profession that makes him skeptical of people that try to get close to you.

To be honest, the only three people he trusts around you are Nikolai, Sigma, and Ivan.

Nikolai because while he’s crazy, he's not crazy enough to cross that line.

Sigma because Fyodor knows that he’s inexperienced in love and insecure about his humanity, so he knows he won’t try anything.

Ivan because… well, he’s Ivan. He literally has no thoughts in that lobotomized brain.

Platonic relationships he can tolerate, he is suspicious, but he tolerates them to the best of his ability.

He is completely intolerant of anyone who takes romantic interest in you.

He will make it clear to anyone who shows even the slightest bit of attraction to you that he doesn’t play games when it comes to you.

If it’s a normal person that he doesn't know very well, he’ll just use simple intimidation to get them to back off. He doesn’t really waste his time on them.

Now, if it’s someone he knows very well or an enemy of his, he is going to be a menace.

He’s going to make sure that they know they  can mess with him all they want, but he’ll be damned before they ever try to get close to you in any capacity.

“It’s my right to be hellish, I still get jealous…”

Saigiku Jouno

Hunting dog? More like a guard dog.

Jouno is sadistic, teasing, and hot-tempered behind a calm demeanor.

He’s anything but chill when it comes to you.

You know the saying “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”? Yeah, he doesn’t believe that. You’re his fish and he’s not throwing you back.

Jouno has seen terrible things and has met many terrible people with terrible intentions, so he’s pretty good at reading people.

So, when people try to flirt with you, it’s on sight.

Especially if they’re being very sweet to you. 

He tends to show his affection through teasing you. So, when someone is being overly sweet and complimenting you, he feels like they’re trying to take you from him.

He’s pissed and jealous, and he’s gonna’ make it their problem.

He’ll give off a really threatening aura and he’ll insult the person almost endlessly.

He’s really passive aggressive. More aggressive than passive.

He will be touchier when he’s jealous, it’s sort of his way of keeping himself calm.

He’s dreadfully aware that he has someone good, and he won’t let anyone threaten your relationship.

[vodika-vibes]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write a fic about CX-2, because he needs some love and maybe a reader or S/O could rescue him from tantiss and take care of him and feed him good food and make sure he’s happy and healing

Idk if he is tech or dogma or anyone we’ve met before cause nameless clones deserve so much love and idk why I feel lowkey emotional, but it made me so sad when he got turned into a kebab, after all the torture and stuff he went through, I just wanted to hug him

Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day!

In The End

Summary:  It’s been a year, 12 long months, since the last time that you saw CX-2. You went on a date with him, and then he vanished, with only a simple message saying that he had to work and that he’d contact you when he could. And then he fell off the face of the map. And now, almost a year later, and with the able assistance of a group of Wookie Mercenaries, he’s back with you, safely on your ship headed for the haven you’ve arranged beforehand.

Pairing: CX-2 x F!Reader

Word Count: 1359

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: So as much as I love Tech and Dogma, I love the idea more that CX-2 is someone else entirely. So, here you have CX-2 being happy with his family. I just needed to take a break from my AU event, I have so many ideas for them, but it's like there's a traffic jam in my brain, I can't get the words to word.

Your knuckles are white as you grip the sleeves of your jacket. You’re very, very stressed. But then, you’ve been stressed for the better part of a year.

Hopefully, now that CX is safe, your stress levels will drop to a more reasonable level. And your medical droid will stop chiding you to practice yoga. That would be nice.

Speaking of said medical droid—

The door to the infirmary slides open and the silver droid hovers out and over to you, “The Patient is awake and aware. There seems to be no lasting damage due to his year-long confinement.”

“So I can see him?” You ask.

“He needs his rest.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

The Droid sighs heavily, a very human reaction you can’t help but notice, but then he nods his head. “You brought him food, I take it.”

“Uh, yeah,” You gesture to the small tray of some of CX’s favorite foods. A pasta dish, with some roasted veggies, and a proper dessert. 

The droid eyes the food critically, and then nods, “That is all acceptable.” He says, “I am returning to my charging dock.” And then, abruptly, he hovers off.

You watch him fly into another room, and then slowly stand and grab the tray of food. Hopefully, he’ll be happy to see you. It’d be heartbreaking if you went through all of this trouble, and he wasn’t happy to see you.

Lightly, you knock on the door and then press the control to allow the door to slide open when you hear an answer from inside. You step into the room, making sure to shut the door behind you before you focus your attention on him.

He looks…well, he doesn’t look well.

Oh, sure, he’s still the handsome man that you fell in love with. Only he’s lost a lot of weight, his abdominal muscles are clearly defined, not protected by the thin layer of fat that gave him a very pleasant squish. He also has bags under his eyes, and you’re pretty sure that there’s a hint of grey in his dark curls.

But he’s still CX.

Your name falls from his lips, he looks astonished to see you, and then he averts his gaze, as if ashamed of something.

And that just won’t do.

You cross the small room and set the tray of food on an open table, and then you reach out for him, stopping just shy of touching him. “I missed you,” You say, your voice soft.

His dark eyes snap to meet yours, and the smallest smile crosses his face. “I missed you more,” CX replies, his voice slightly raspy, and for once, you believe it.

He reaches up and takes your hands in his and pulls your hands to his face, and you eagerly cup his face, content to feel his warm skin against your hands again. You don’t fight him when his arms snake around your waist and he pulls you as close as he can without pulling you onto the bed.

He buries his face against your chest and just breathes.

You gently card your fingers through his curls, your other hand moving from his cheek to wrap around him, holding him as tightly as you can. Just enjoying him.

You lightly drop a kiss on the top of his head, “I thought you were dead,” You murmur against his hair.

He trembles slightly, “I’m sorry. I never meant to disappear.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You should be.”

“Never.”

He pulls back, and looks up at you, “Cyare,” this time his hands come up to cup your face, “You don’t understand, I’ve hurt so many people—”

“It doesn’t matter.” You reply, “Not to me. You didn’t have a choice, CX. I know that.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

You shush him gently, “We’re going somewhere else. Somewhere where the Empire can’t touch you ever again. You have brothers there.”

CX looks baffled for a moment, “Brothers?”

“I think they called themselves Nil…or null?”

He blinks at you, “We’re staying with the Nulls?”

“Yeah, when I was looking for you, I managed to stumble over them. We’ve been offered a place with them. They have a whole settlement for clones and their families.”

“Even clone assassins?”

“All clones,” You reassure, “What do you think?”

He looks uncertain for a moment, “I suppose we can try it out, and see if it works.” CX finally agrees, and then he pulls you in so he’s able to press his face against your chest again, “cyare?”

“Hm?”

“What scent are you wearing?”

“What scent am I—?” You pause and your face flushes, “Oh, right. I’m not, not really.” You gently push him back and lean in to kiss his forehead, “There’s actually something I need to get for you, I left it in my room.”

CX peers at you, “Can it wait?”

“It’s a surprise. And I think, well hope, that you’ll like it.”

CX watches you for a moment, and you smile at him reassuringly, “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He unwraps his arms from around you, “Alright,”

You beam at him and quickly drop a chaste kiss against his lips before you turn and hurry out of the room. You’re vaguely aware of him sitting up in the medical bed and swinging his legs off the edge as the door slides shut behind you.

You walk the short distance to your room, and don’t bother shutting the door behind you. There’s no need, you’ll only be in here for a moment, after all. You walk around your bed (big enough for you and CX to share), and lean over the much smaller bed, a loving smile crossing your face as you look at the face of your sleeping daughter.

CX’s daughter.

He vanished before you even found out that you were pregnant, so hopefully, she’s a good surprise.

You scoop Eli into your arms, adjusting her weight so she’s comfortably nestled against you, and you head out of the room. The scent that CX asked you about was baby powder, which you seem to always smell like since giving birth to Eli.

You step back into the infirmary, and CX opens his mouth to say something but stops when he sees Eli.

“...cyare?”

You sit on the bed next to him, “This is Eli, she looks like you.” You lightly brush a dark curl off your daughter's forehead, “Luckily, can you imagine if she got stuck with my hair color and your skin tone?”

CX doesn’t say anything, you glance at him and notice that he’s staring at Eli, wide-eyed.

“I found out that I was pregnant 2 weeks after you vanished,” You explain, “She’s 5 months old now. Would you like to hold her?”

“Can I?” He asks, his gaze darting to your face, “Am I allowed?”

“She’s your daughter, you silly man. Here.” You pass the baby over to CX, and adjust his arms so that he’s cradling her properly, “She’s a very calm baby, she doesn’t fuss a lot.”

Cx stares at Eli, mesmerized, “Was the pregnancy easy?”

You shrug, “Unimportant, I had plenty of help.”

“Cyare—”

You smile at him adoringly, “Next time, we’ll do it properly.”

He blinks at you, “Next time?”

“Um, well…if you want a next time.” You correct sheepishly.

You watch as he brushes a finger down Eli’s nose, “I’d like there to be a next time.” CX murmurs, “I can’t believe you gave me a baby.”

“Well, you gave her to me first,” You say with a soft laugh, “I’m just returning the favor.”

He glances at you and a genuine smile, the first one since you’ve been reconnected, crosses his face. “We’re going to be okay,”

“Of course we will.” You lightly lay your head on his shoulder, “We’re going to be better than okay, we’re going to be great.”

You feel him press his head against yours, “I love you,” The words are soft as if he’s not sure he has the right to say them, and you smile. 

You turn your head and press a kiss against his bare shoulder, “I love you too, CX.”

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Keep thinking about the Jeff and Annie dynamic so anyway here's how I think it should've been done (with the added bonus of me sprinkling in lesbian Annie Edison):

So s1 goes more or less the same it does in canon. Annie dates Vaughn, gets ready to leave with him, but becomes too scared and goes back to Greendale. And actually I think it makes sense for Jeff and Annie to kiss here. Especially on Annie's side. She's scared and nervous, she wants to be more okay with drastic changes and wants a whole new life, but isn't ready for all that so she goes back to Greendale and kisses Jeff to justify to herself why she didn't go with Vaughn. It's just kind of a thing that happens on a wim. And for the first like second Jeff kisses her back because of the whole confession that just happened with Britta, and because he is also confused about what's going on. The kiss is essentially nothing more than trying to do something they have control over in a point in both of their lives when they feel the opposite. But I think, once Jeff gets that realisation on what he's doing, he pulls away. He tries to let her down, but he does it so badly that Annie doesn't quite process it as a rejection. Because instead of talking to her, Jeff just makes some sarcastic comment and assumes that's enough.

So, over the summer, Annie convinces herself that she is in love with Jeff. When s2 starts, Annie thinks they have a real shot at a relationship and tries to pursue him. Jeff, however, doesn't like her that way, but he is still too asshole-ish to just properly have a conversation with her. So instead he goes to the trouble of doing literally everything else to stop her pursuit. He tries to get other guys to show interest in her and comes up with constant elaborate, weird plans to get Annie to be interested in someone else. At least once Jeff gets Abed and Troy to help him. Of course, everyone just tells Jeff to talk to her like a person, and it's not until his plans fail repeatedly that he finally does so. I think what would be cool for s2 as well is that, in the canon Jeff kinda views Annie as a kid and sometimes an adult, and I think in my mind he'd here start understanding that she is an adult. That she's taking care of herself fully and he needs to treat her like that. Jeff still isn't interested in her romantically, but he stops treating her like she's a little kid.

Anyway, Jeff and Annie have an actual conversation and Jeff properly let's her down. Annie is upset obviously, she's spent so much time on the idea of this one relationship. Maybe she lashes out initially to Jeff, idk. What she does end up doing is talking to Britta and Shirley, looking for advice from them. In short what Annie gets from both of them is that she doesn't need to be in a relationship no matter what anyone thinks or says. That there is more to her than who she's dating.

And then this starts an Annie development where she starts to try figure out who/what she really is. Because she has spent years of her life dreaming of the perfect relationship with a man that she doesn't fully know that much about what specifically she wants. She knows some things she likes, but what does Annie want to do in life really?

So then s3 kicks in and Annie spends her time trying to understand who she is. Maybe she joins every club at Greendale and starts trying wildly different things, even stuff that seems completely out of her comfort zone and incredibly strange in general. She finds that she likes some stuff and gains some new interests and friends. And, in this "figuring herself out" plot, Annie eventually realises that she likes women. I don't think she'd necessarily use the word "lesbian" to refer to herself yet, but she acknowledges that she has those feelings. This acknowledgement is maybe at the end of s3.

Then s4 and onwards would be her navigating this new realisation. It'd be her confiding in her friends about this, it'd be her getting a girlfriend, it'd be her learning more about queer history and finding she has a genuine interest in learning about that too. Specifically with the Jeff and Annie dynamic, Jeff would so totally try to give Annie advice on women. All of it wouldn't be good advice, but some of it would be useful and they could have that older/younger sibling dynamic with Annie trusting Jeff and asking him about all this relationship stuff, and he tries his best to be supportive.

Don't have anything specific or detailed for s5 or s6 but it honestly could just be her figuring herself out still. Maybe Annie learning that lesbian is the label that fits her best. Maybe her having her very first sapphic relationship and navigating that. The rest of the study group interacting with her girlfriend. And at the end of the show, there's still some things Annie hasn't figured out fully, but she now knows that's okay and overall she's just much happier and better

[falconcoast]

my schedule changed again literally five minutes before class started. WHAT THE FUCK !!!

[sersfandomthings]

wanderer

(referenced from that one shot in the 3.3 interlude quest)

[coolnonsenseworld]

Samurai and Ninja in crappy pics because December here is under a constant cloud and I just want y'all to see them all golden and cute without learning how to take aesthetic pictures 🥴 💙❤️😆🥰

linktr.ee/Mezzy

[tea-time-terrier]

New roommates? 👀

So many little critters! Pichael and I are moving in with a friend and their cats and dog. It'll be a crash course on how to exist with cats (a thing neither pickle or I have done) so wish us luck!

[identityquest]

lizzie get two wolves 👍

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’

[the-acid-pear]

hey do u fw phone guy jack and if so do you have any thoughts on phone guy jack

I loooooove phone jack as a concept unfortunately I haven't managed to build a coherent thought since the summer of '92 but let me try like. I mean he'd be undeniably one of the fucking worst ones hands down. Steven would blush next to how atrocious of a boss phone Jack would be. Because he's a bit of a cunt as it stands but w his brain reprogrammed to focus mainly on the company and forget his previous life? He'd be a turbo cunt. And I don't think he'd even that good at the job either. I do wonder if he'd manage to keep the narrator or not. I'd be funny if he did and the narrator remembered everything but was like, unwilling to tell him? Or maybe he'd tell him and Jack would just ignore it. He's busy half assing his duties to be bothering with past memories you know?

Hell even if he remembered I think it'd be a bit of a Roger moment in the sense that he was already fucking MISERABLE where he was and now he is Someone he's Scott™ and he lost everything already so what's even the point? Here is bad but there is worse.

Maybe I had more thoughts than I accounted for.

[timothylawrence]

been trying to do a dark urge run (keyword here is trying) and for some reason all the other storyline thing keeps pushing back mizora from visiting wyll so

3 long rests later and my boy has no horns...

(hes laughing at gale talking abt summoning tara. so cute)