toreblogallthethings

[toreblogallthethings]

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

[toreblogallthethings]

1956, 2011, 2020 & 2024

The Desert Inn Motel was founded as a trading post in the 1880s and was used as a brothel, motel, gas station, bar and dance hall over the years. In 2019, over 25 years after being put on the National Register of Historic Places, it was destroyed by a tractor trailer driving into the side of the building. The motel was never repaired and was left exposed to the elements for over 5 years. It was finally demolished in 2024. Located in Yeehaw Junction, Florida.

[toreblogallthethings]

the student said, "i'm reading a zen buddhist cookbook. with no recipes." and the teacher replied, "ah, dogen's instructions for the cook, written in 1237?" "yeah," said the student, "it's saying not to let rats fall into the rice pot"

[toreblogallthethings]

What’s the oldest record you’ve come across of an individual who resembles what we might call a superhero today?

"Hey Sid, how about you put your foot directly into the biggest minefield in your profession so that no matter what you say one of your colleagues WILL have you assassinated?" Oh boy! How could I resist?!

This post is going to be more qualifier than answer but here we go.

The definition of "superhero" is famously squirrely. We only CALL them superheroes in common language because of Superman's appearance kicking off the current heroic age. In the 40s they were called mystery men, there were heroes like them among the lawmen of the American west, the Revolutionary war, the vikings, the knights of Camelot and ALL of those examples are just those who fit my personal working definition of a superhero which is someone holding 3 distinct aspects.

Has powers, abilities or skill sets outside those of the normal population for their nation, class and time period

Uses an identity, costume or motif separate from their 'legal' identity

Uses said powers and secondary identity to confront crime or injustice within their society and correct it.

You'll note that that 2nd reason is, for instance, why mythological figures like Perseus and Hercules don't count. While they had skills and abilities beyond mortal ken, they did so under their own pedigrees so to speak. Reasons 1 and 3 disqualify many historically attested classes of masked soldiery or specially named military units who had the abilities expected of them for high level military men AND acted upon the orders of military superiors.

Every single word of these explanations and definitions can be torn apart by the edge cases. This has to be accepted, there is no universal definition of "superhero" that includes everyone you think counts and excludes everyone you think doesn't. Nature of the game.

ALL of that being said, here's my pick.

(Reconstruction of a marble carved mural from within the villa of the 'Golden Gladiator') Marcus Tiberius (unknown if that was his birth name but unlikely considering how Romans regularly changed their names or the emphasis on their names in relation to societal rank) was a common shepherd living near the city of Segusio (modern day Susa, Italy) whose first appearance in the historical record is being convicted of a crime. Accused of attempting to assassinate Praetor Clodius Crassus, Marcus was indentured to slave galley. Eventually saving the life of the ship's captain when a lion being transported to Rome for the gladiatorial games escaped on board, Marcus himself was recommended for the games.

Now in close proximity to Cinna, the centurion who had actually attempted to assassinate the Praetor, Marcus overcame purposefully rigged challenges against much stronger opponents, defeating a raging bull with a faulty spear and a chariot race against one of Cinna's allies earning his freedom and the lifelong moniker that's most easily translated as: The Golden Gladiator.

The Golden Gladiator would spend the next decades of his life doing everything in his power to foil Cinna's plots for power, even falling in love with and marrying Cinna's niece Lucia in the same year Cinna was recognized as having framed Marcus all those years ago. He served as a close advisor to Emperor Vespasian for many years, being made bodyguard of his son Titus where he eventually perished guarding him from an assassination attempt in 73 AD

This is by no means a perfect answer. Considering the things Vespasian and Titus are actually RESPONSIBLE for even as two of the "good emperors", and Marcus was by no means so hero outside his own moral time and place calling for the liberation of slaves and the end of imperialism, obviously. There's a reason we start the moral and spiritual continuity of our modern heroic legacy at the Crimson Avenger and don't try to tie them back much further than that so we can stay out of the moral thickets that inevitably come from examining the actions of any human being who lived before the previous century at best. But he DID use an assumed persona to fight against criminality and corruption within his society so as far as that goes, that's the hand I've got to play. Now I get to post this and wait for some really STIMULATING emails and voice messages from people I went to college with!

[toreblogallthethings]

moving apartments is the worst activity that exists

[toreblogallthethings]

one of those generically cheerful Bless this Home (and all who enter) signs, but instead it says Memento Mori (remember that you must die)

[toreblogallthethings]

“If you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary. I ain’t giving up. I swear.” 

Spotted in Clackamas, Oregon

[toreblogallthethings]

Your response to the "it's gets better" post really spoke to me, thank you for posting it. Any advice for someone who's pushing 30 and still feels hopeless?

statistically the vast majority of all human beings ever born never made it to thirty. so i think there's something really miraculous and special about the other side of that number. your body starts to stiffen up and you get fatter, and you don't magically stop having problems. in this day and age there's a lot of problems, there's shit wages and crazy politics and disabling diseases.

but like, you get to settle into a kind of adulthood most people never got to realize. you get to know yourself, you make peace with your old problems, your life gets deeper and richer. a lot of the confusion and stress of your twenties fades away in the rearview mirror. you get grey hairs and you get hopeful about your forties.

i think it's a gift, getting old, it's a treat. to be yourself for that long! to have so much time to fuck around and find out. if you can't feel hopeful about who you are and where you're at right now, at least give yourself the courtesy of room to grow.

[toreblogallthethings]

i was so sad, i drew a little bat so i wouldn’t be sad. and now i am no longer sad.

[toreblogallthethings]

a month ago i picked up a book on stage directing in my school’s black box and opened to a random page and it was something about making shakespearean actors rehearse by adding the word fuck to their lines to turn the archaic language into something familiar for the emotional resonance (of course taking it out as rehearsals move along to fix rhythm/etc but just to start off) and the example it gave was the solid flesh speech. like. iirc it was specifically “but two fucking months dead”

and like. im obsessed with this. as a concept. not even for acting i just think it’s so fucking funny. to be or not to be, that’s the fucking question. is this a fucking dagger i see before me. this is the excellent fuckery of the world -

[toreblogallthethings]

hope is a skill

[toreblogallthethings]

i don’t think i’ve rewatched atla since becoming a committed pacifist and i just finished what was probably my tenth rewatch and i have never loved aang more. i've seen it so many times but i still came away with a new appreciation for the way the end of the story was handled. aang is the only survivor of a genocide and he is clinging to the last remnants of his culture and religion, and everyone is telling him the only way to save the world is to kill the dictator whose regime is responsible for the genocide, but to do so would abandon the deeply held beliefs of his people. if aang goes against his beliefs and kills ozai, his people's way of life dies completely and sozin wins.

aang knows it would be wrong but he can't see another way out so he prays for an answer, and the universe hears him and the spirits send out the lion turtle, and the creator answers him. and here's the thing that i never put together before today: aang would not have been able to energybend ozai if he had given in and wanted to kill him. the lion turtle tells aang that only the incorruptible can bend another’s energy, or else they will become corrupted themselves. and i think that aang, because of his love for the fire nation as he had once known it, was never corrupted by personal hatred for the fire lord or the fire nation. he was able to expertly hold two conflicting beliefs in harmony better than any adult could, the belief that ozai is a horrible person and the world would be better off without him and that he's still a human being with a life that is sacred.

and i don't think it's a matter of selfishness like some people make it out to be. aang is not some immature little kid who doesn't want to kill because killing is for bad guys. he's an incredibly wise and spiritual person who was shaped by airbender beliefs and upholds airbender beliefs, and he can see beyond the scope of this war. the balance of the world depends on the existence of the four nations, and aang does not just represent the air nomads, he IS the air nomads. he's all that's left.

despite many people’s interpretation of the four past avatars’ advice, none of the past avatars outright tell him to kill ozai. they tell him to be decisive, to bring justice, to be proactive, to be sacrificial. but none of them tells him definitively to kill him. he doesn't disobey or ignore their advice, he follows their ancient wisdom while still staying true to his beliefs. yangchen actually comes the closest to outright telling him to kill ozai (even more than kiyoshi, surprisingly) but what she fails to account for is that aang is not just the avatar, he is the last airbender, and being the last airbender is far greater a burden than being the avatar. no matter what happens, once he dies, there will always be another avatar. but if he is not careful to preserve the airbender way of life, there will be no more airbenders. yangchen could sacrifice her air nomad way of life for the sake of her duty to the world because there were thousands of other air nomads to continue their traditions. aang has no such privilege.

and it's not that he doesn't want to kill, it's that he actually doesn't think he can do it -- both that he won't be able to emotionally bring himself to kili someone, and, prodigy that he is, he doesn't have the raw bending skill to overcome a comet-powered master firebender. and then it turns from 'i don't think i can do it' into ‘i can’t do it.’ and when the avatar state gives him enough power to actually do it, he changes the answer to ‘i won’t do it.’ he overcomes all the combined power of his past lives to say no, i have found another answer and i will remain incorruptible. to kill is to maintain the power struggle of the fire nation and to reject air nomad wisdom and without airbenders the world CANNOT be brought into balance.

the only thing ozai cares about is power, and that's what the entire fight with ozai is about, physically and ideologically, because ozai only sees power in terms of force, fear, threats, and violence. to ozai, aang (and his entire people) are weak and undeserving of life because they are largely pacifists, but he fails to see the magnificent power that the airbenders do hold, spiritual wisdom and mastery of the self and contentment and joy and harmony and a deep understanding of the world that a man like ozai could never obtain. to kill ozai would ratify ozai’s worldview that power as he defines it is the most important pursuit in the world and the only way to assert one's right to be in the world is to be cruel and violent like him. i think to ozai, becoming powerless might be worse than being dead. he wants power, or he wants death, and aang gives him neither. it upends everything he believed in. aang, the avatar, but more importantly, the last airbender, armed by his past lives' power and his people's love and the spirit world's blessing and the lion turtle's omniscience (and toph's mastery of true sight through neutral jing), ends the war 100 years to the day after the air nomad genocide, in the way that his people taught him, with power that goes beyond force and violence, with spiritual wisdom, with an incorruptible soul, with mercy -- mercy that is not weakness, mercy that brings justice.

[toreblogallthethings]

If you live in the USA, you can use this easy widget from the National Humanities Alliance to send a message to your elected representatives asking them to protect the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH), which has been targeted by DOGE for a clawback of current grant funds and for staffing cuts up to 90%. The widget provides a template email and automatically looks up the addresses of your reps.

The NEH is the only federal entity charged with making the humanities accessible to all. You can visit the site below to see the impact of NEH-funded projects locally and nationally (feel free to cite one in your message).

[toreblogallthethings]

[toreblogallthethings]

I'm sorry, professor, I consider publishing your course a day late, having a mandatory live zoom meeting during business hours to stay enrolled for an asynchronous class, and requiring students to use a $60 ***pdf*** that you wrote as their textbook to be exceptionally unprofessional and since I've still got 14 days to get a refund I'm totally not paying $150 to take your class.

Also, for all the newbie professors out there: a syllabus is not just a greeting and a list of assignments. If you haven't given your students AT LEAST your office hours, your late work policy, and your preferred method of being contacted, then you have not given your students a syllabus it's just sparkling announcements.

But really. Sir. SIR. You teach Speech 100. This is one of the most basic classes with like, 20 of the most widely available accepted textbooks and you want me to pay sixty dollars for a pdf of a book that you rewrite every semester so that there are no previous editions?

Buddy this is interpersonal communication, not introductory rhetoric. Why is one of your *four* total assignments about Socrates?

Maybe it's the fact that I've taken Spch 100 interpersonal communication three times already, maybe it's the fact that I grew up with somebody who taught Spch 100 interpersonal communication from 1981 to 2018, but buddy what the fuck are you doing?

"Some of our lectures will only be available for 24 hours so it is up to you to stay on top of it."

Friend, you are teaching an asynchronous online 100-level class at a community college during a pandemic. Get off your high horse, a third of your students are probably parents. There is no reason whatsoever to limit access to course materials to 24 hours unless you are doing it to be a controlling asshole.

Also YOU published your class a day and a half late! You don't get to publish your class late with an incomplete syllabus and tell students to "stay on top of it." Especially not since that means that people have two fewer days to buy your PDF textbook and only one full day to prepare for your mandatory 1pm on a Tuesday zoom meeting!

Why do you require me to have access to a printer for an online class? Oh yeah it's because you expect me to print out and draw on sections of your $60 ebook.

SIR. No thank you.

Kids, new students: this is a level of bullshit and disorganization from a professor that you do not have to put up with. This is a neatly ordered series of red flags that say "this professor is going to be absolutely unbearable."

Also *any* humanities class where your whole grade is 4 assignments should get serious side-eye. You should be able to pass most 100 level humanities classes by just turning in weekly assignments. 4 assignments means that by the time you figure out how the professor grades you're probably close to halfway through the class. Look for classes that require weekly participation as a major chunk of the grade because that way, even if you fuck up a project in a major way, just showing up can save your ass.

[toreblogallthethings]

this poem is about being nonbinary.

[toreblogallthethings]

“I report starving people cause they asked me for money”

kill yourself you disgusting lazy fascist colonizer asshole

You're fucking delusional if you think starving people have BOT accounts. The ones that send me messages and that do not listen to the fact that my blog says in 3 different places NOT to send me those requests, have ALL been spam accounts. That dumb shit cunts like you give real money to instead of doing anything of any actual value to give ANY relief to anyone from Palestine.

The fact that people like you exist, so up yourself that I am pretty sure you just mainline your own shit for breakfast, insisting that ALL these Palestinian blogs with stolen photos and who do NOTHING but post all day, and you go to a twitter account that also used those same pictures and they are something posting multiple times per minute but you wanna give them grace?

Do what the fuck you want with your money, but I think actually swallowing every nickel and penny you find is a better use of your time AND money than sitting here and defending bot accounts that no one is really attached to.

Nothing says "born a fuckwit and I'll DIE a fuckwit" more than that. Peace.

Edit: actually the fact that some of you guys give the girlfriend experience to these bots SO MUCH that I saw a list of "verified" tumblr users being shared that absolutely and unequivocally included impossible bot accounts is wild. Y'all will do anything other than give your money to a charity who can actually help people in Gaza.