#anyways star wars is a tale of good vs evil

[short-wooloo]

I had a thought about that line from the opening crawl of Revenge of the Sith

"There are heroes on both sides"

A lot of people took this to mean there are good and bad people on both sides, but the thing is, nothing really supports this

The Republic and those who fight for it are 9 times out of 10 the good guys, and the separatists are invariably horrible monsters (and the ones who aren't are next to useless)

So maybe "there are good and bad people on both sides" was not the meaning there

Perhaps it's more along the lines of "villains is the heroes of another story/heroes are the villains of another story"

From the out of universe perspective, the republic-despite it's issues-is good, and the separatists-despite their claims-are bad, worse than the republic

But in universe who is the hero and who is the villain depends on perspective

To the separatists, Dooku/Grievous/Trench/etc are the "heroes" and the Jedi/Republic heroes are the villains

Even if that's not how it really is

[etaindelaserna]

Thanks for answering my ask before. If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......

Welcome back!😊 Don’t worry: I‘ll answer anyway 🙌

(Side note: top 7 OR✨ 10?😂 Oddly specific^^)

1. Star Wars

Aside from the obvious things like lightsabers and force powers, I think what pulled me into the SW universe is the simplicity of it, espeically in the OT: good vs. evil, a hero‘s call to adventure and his responsibility to save the galaxy from the evil clutches of the Empire, the power of friendship, the whole concept of the force, the strength to not succumb to the dark side, to stay true to yourself even if it costs you your life, the idea that the good things in our life are things we have to work hard for while the bad things are easy and faster to obtain and oh so manipulative and tempting. It seems to address a truth we can all relate to or are at least aware of. Luke Skywalker is someone I can look up to. And sometimes I can't ask for more.

2. Harry Potter

Always. To this day the Harry Potter books and movies feel like you're coming home after a long time abroad. The world building has always made me feel like it could be true: there could be a wizard society existing right next to our own. Just the sheer richness of characters, places, magical items and wizard life were enough to draw me in as a kid. It’s childhood preserved in book form. It’s fun in the first school years and tragical in the last ones. It’s a world that feels lived in. It’s a tale about the power of friendship and about facing things you actually don’t want to face. It taught me to be brave and kind and that striving for power is a path towards loneliness and a hollow, ego centric existence.

3. Naruto

I fell in love with the premise pretty early on when I started watching Naruto: the question of what makes a shinobi a shinobi, how can you be a good shinobi and a good person, are you only allowed to be loyal to your village? What about your friends and family? Why do we have to kill each other? Why is it human nature to be cruel and violent? Naruto asked so many existential and moral questions which I find interesting to explore. Then we have the idea of chakra and how its used, different jutsus and fighting styles, shinobi villages, the struggle between being a human being, the hardships of the shinobi life and how to overcome them and what happens to those who dispair and choose a life of darkness. The messages about friendship, family, loyalty, unconditional love and to work hard for your goal no matter what everybody else says, hit me hard. I will always come back to read or watch Naruto.

4. One Piece

Apart from the world building, which is one of the best in modern literature, I think what made me fall in love with this manga/anime are its characters, the humour and Oda's storytelling ability, which has been consistently brilliant for all those years. The world of One Piece with all its crazy characters and rules shouldn't work but it does, because it's not all fun and games and silliness but it means something. It means something to the characters. There are themes in it I will never get tired of: following your dreams, working hard, loyalty, friendship, we don't abandon our friends or dreams, we stick together no matter what. Oda knows how to balance comedy, tragedy and adventure perfectly. He knows also how to do setups and how to cash in the payoffs at just right moment. You as a reader are allowed to follow the bread crumbs and think and I appreciate it that he doesn't spell the things out for us.

5. The Lord of the Rings

I read the books and I've seen the movies more than I can count. It's my ultimate love. It's something I can pop in at anytime, under any circumstances and be completely emersed in it within seconds. It feels like home. It is home. The world building is rich and complex. The characters are loveable and more nuanced than they might let on. The story has timeless themes that transcend cultures, age, gender: chaos and darkness are tempting and destructive, but you not only have the responsibility to stand against it but also you have the ability to do so. It's a story about sacrifices, will power, love, friendship and hope. It seems to touch something within us. It leaves you with the comfort of this one single thought that there are higher powers or a grand plan involved.

6. True Blood/ The Southern Vampire Mysteries

This book series hit me once my girlish enthusiasm for the Vampire Diaries and its repetiveness slowly started to fade away but my hunger for vampire stories was still as big as ever. I thought I gave it a shot and boy, did it hit me. I think I read the first 4 books within a week. I absolutely liked that Sookie wasn't a teenager anymore but in her mid twenties when the first book picks up her story. The way she sees the world was exactly my kind of humour but mature and that was a welcome suprise after all the teenage drama in TVD. Her problems were how to pay for the gas for her car or for a new driveway. And of course that she can read minds. Charlaine Harris also made her vampires different enough but also used common tropes. It was a blend of the old and the new. She imagined how vampires and humans would live together in the modern world and she slayed on that part. I loved Sookie and I loved Eric. They were the main reasons why I kept reading.

7. A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones

The richness of the world building and the characters is what made me fall for the TV series and later the books. I think I started to watch it once the third seasons was rolling around. Like most, I did like the approach of "let's make it high fantasy but with an overdose of reality and history to it". That was brilliant. George knows how to write interesting characters, who aren't entirely bad or good but just brutally human. He also understands setup and consequences but above all he understands people. You know somebody is writing bloody good characters and plotlines if your are not mad at the author but at the characters for the choices they are making. You always understood why characters did the things they did, even though it didn't make it any less heartbraking at times. I don't think that George is ever going to be able to bring the series to a satisfying conclusion. The fantasy genre follows specific rules and George broke them to create something new. But he will come to realize that he now can't use these rules to finish the series. It's not going to work.

8. The Mummy (1999)

The cinema and movie nerds among my friends are always making fun of me for liking this movie as much as I do but I can't help it. It's the only successful Indiana Jones movie without Indiana Jones in it. Just the perfect mixture between adventure, horror, romance and comedy. How many times I'm quoting lines of this movie on a daily basis is insane. It's another unconditional love of mine. I'm going to keep watching it till the end of my days. We know that O'Connell and the gang are going to defeat the mummy but how they are doing it is so much fun. Brendan Fraser is a national treasure and just perfect for playing a brave, good looking, slightly ruggish adventurer, with the right amount of humour sprinkled in, who falls hard for the bookish girl. Like, come on. That's enough to sell me on any movie. Him and Rachel Weisz are just hitting it of. This film just feels like a warm cup of cocoa with a lot of cream. It makes me laugh, it makes me gush over Rick, it makes me want to learn acient Egyptian and run off into an adventure.

9. Once Upon a Time

Ten years ago I was so addicted to this show. I liked this idea that because of a spell from the Evil Queen all the fairytale characters have been forced to live a normal life in modern day America and they don't even remember who they are, apart from the Evil Queen. It's a classical the "Chosen One"/Heroes story with a little twist, that the relationship between most of the fairytale characters shifts during the story or was even told differently from how the audience remembers it from their fairytale books. It's basically a criminal investigation about who did this to these characters and how the protagonist can reverse the spell. Besides it's a story about fate, about love, friendship, about how villains and heroes are made and that things aren't just black and white. The characters are complex and because of this setup you can throw them in various scenarios, which made for some surprising teamups (Rumpelstilzchen/Belle). I was never bored with this show. Although it had complex themes at times the show handled them familyfriendly and that just fitted the overall fairytale vibe and wholesomeness of the show perfectly.

10. Band of Brothers

This HBO mini series about the story of E Company of the 101st Airborne during WWII stole my heart. I like war movies and if I had to explain why then I'd say because it reminds me of what was and what could easily happen again. The horrors of war, the sacrifices, the tragedy, the generational trauma, the loss, the heroes, the defeated, how quickly we forget our humanity once the bullets start flying, but also the little moments of friendship and will power that keep us alive. Band of Brothers has all that. It's based on real events and real people and although some things are dramatized for the sake of film making, they managed to stay quite accurate. You get to know these men and you get to see them struggle, in pain, laughing, joking, crying, die or survive. It makes you smile and breaks your heart in the next second. It's a series that captured me from start till finish.

[antianakin]

Then tell me something they were "wrong" about that actually matters to the narrative.

They were RIGHT to be wary of Anakin, they were RIGHT to say he was too old to join the Jedi, they were RIGHT that he had issues with attachment that would be difficult to overcome, and they were RIGHT to take him in at the end anyway because with the Sith back, someone like Anakin was potentially in danger.

They were RIGHT to stand with the Republic, they were RIGHT to be as involved in politics as they were, they were RIGHT to step up and fight in the war against the Separatists because the Separatists were run by known Sith and causing atrocities and choosing not to fight would've just resulted in more deaths, they were RIGHT that while it wasn't a great option or even a good option, it was the ONLY option.

They were RIGHT to turn on Palpatine and take him down, they were RIGHT that Anakin's relationship with him was a bad one and made his choices suspicious, they were RIGHT to be upset with Anakin taking the position in the Council in ROTS, they were RIGHT to refuse to give Anakin the rank of Master, they were RIGHT to ask him to spy on Palpatine.

So what was the Order wrong about? Name something that MATTERS. I dare you.

The whole POINT of the fucking narrative is that the Jedi are something to aspire to, that they have become the best versions of themselves and are still fighting the good fight when EVERYONE ELSE has given in to selfishness and darkness. The point of the story is that Anakin DOESN'T act like a Jedi and he throws the entire galaxy into darkness as a result. The point of the story is that the galaxy has abandoned the Jedi and they are taken advantage of by evil people as a result.

The Jedi are right about EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS. The Jedi being right is literally the thematic throughpoint of the entire Skywalker saga. If they aren't right, then it means the Sith are right about some shit and oh boy buddy do I have some news for you about who the Sith were based on and why is that a stance no one should be getting behind.

The Jedi are symbols for selflessness and compassion. Anakin and the Sith are symbols for selfishness and greed. Star Wars is a very simple story about good vs evil, what you should do vs what you shouldn't do. The Jedi are good, the people you SHOULD be like, while Anakin and the Sith are cautionary tales of what being selfish leads you to become. It's literally as simple as that.

Claiming "the Jedi are flawed" is important to the narrative is to misunderstand the narrative of Star Wars by a MILE.

I never, ever say the Jedi were flawed, and here's why.

It's not because I don't think people can BE flawed, or that I don't think GOOD people can be flawed, of course they can. Even people who are genuinely doing good things and making good choices and trying their best to be selfless and kind and compassionate can make mistakes and have a bad day.

But there's really only two reasons I see anybody bring up "the Jedi were flawed."

The first is from Jedi fans who are trying to stave off the Stanakins and the anti Jedi crowd by adding that in as a disclaimer. "OF COURSE the Jedi are flawed, but it doesn't mean they aren't good people!" It's a meaningless statement because the side saying it doesn't even really believe it to be true and the side they're saying it TO thinks the Jedi being flawed means they all deserved to die. This is the kind of statement that leads to people deciding that individual Jedi are okay but their culture needs to be completely reformed in order to allow people like Anakin to just do whatever they want whenever they want and then they can all live.

The second is from people who DON'T really like the Jedi much and will insist that "the Jedi are flawed" is part of the whole point of the narrative of Star Wars, especially the prequels. This is the kind of statement that leads to people like Leslye Headland INSISTING that George Lucas intended for the story of the Jedi to be one of failure and criticism and casting the Jedi as "the evil institution" in her interpretation of Star Wars. This is what leads to stories like the Ahsoka show insisting that the Jedi were elitist bastards whose arrogance led to their own genocide. These people usually try to claim they like the Jedi, but they'll still cast the Jedi as the bad guys in the story instead of, say, Anakin. These are the people who genuinely have no idea what attachment is and don't care to learn. These people believe that, at best, the Jedi THOUGHT they were doing good, but that they had completely lost their way and were truly not that much better than the Sith anymore and their destruction was necessary to create balance in the galaxy.

I have no desire to appease people who don't like my interpretation of Star Wars, and I don't think that "the Jedi were flawed" was ever the point of Lucas's story and I genuinely think it takes a lot AWAY from his story to say that it does. So while I am perfectly happy to admit that people in general, even overall GOOD and kind and selfless people, are always flawed and can make mistakes, I will never, ever say that the Jedi were flawed. The Jedi lost, yes, but not due to their own flaws. They lost because of EVERYONE ELSE'S flaws, so what does it MATTER if the Jedi were flawed or not? If you truly believe the Jedi were good people who did everything right and simply lost due to other people's selfish choices, then what does it add to the story to insist the Jedi were flawed? How does it change anything, for the better or otherwise? The Jedi were right IS the point of the story, so insisting they were flawed actually takes away from that by distracting from how the Jedi were RIGHT, and it's people choosing not to listen to them or trust them or act like them that brings about the downfall of an entire galaxy.

The Jedi weren't flawed. The Jedi were RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING and that is the hill I will die on.

[gotmilk5101520]

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 5 Waka Chaka!

Honestly, coming up with things to say here was way easier in my ML Rewatch.

UPS, FedEx, or Amazon?

And now we get these little fuckers.

“Ola-mola!” I guess that means “Coast is clear”?

Goblin with a mustache count: 1

“Over here! I found it!”

“It won’t open!”

“He’s coming!”

“He’s here!”

“What’s he doing?”

“What?”

“Ha-ha!”

That was pretty graphic.

Goblin with a mustache count: 2

“Waka chaka!” “He shall be avenged!”

“Always be afraid”

“Fear heightens your senses”

“Fear keeps you alive”

“Arrogance gets you killed” Never be arrogant.

“You know, i think being afraid is the one rule that i- Oh!”

“I excel at” I excel at being afraid too. No wonder i’m still alive.

“I assure you, the truth is far more interesting, and there’s no better place to start than Renaissance Era pottery”

Only one of them is interested. The rest? Sleep.

Nothing important here, just move on.

“Wait a minute. You’re a monster fucker?” “Yes i am” “If you’re a monster fucker, than i’m an alien fucker” “Steve, everyone knows you’re an alien fucker” “Wait they do?” “Yes. You have sign that says “I Heart Alien” on your locker. Then again makes sense given you’re also Keith from Voltron-” “No, no. Never bring up that series again” “Fair enough”

“Hey, Steve! Did you hear about the Neanderthal exhibit?”

“Topless”

“Nice” They really got away with this? There’s a bunch of Getting Crap Past the Radar in this series, but they’re not on the level of Star vs the Forces of Evil.

“What about you? What’s calling you, Jim Lake Junior? Oh wait that calling is Trollhunting. And i’m not suppose to know that yet”

Wait. How was Eli the only one to see this? How did no one else see that when they pass by? It’s still there when Jim, Toby, Blinky, and Aaarrrgghh got there. No one else took a picture and posted it online?

“If you weren’t going to show up for rehearsals, why even try out”

“Honestly, i kind of auditioned by accident” Yeah.

“I believe auditions end in five minutes”

By accident.

“Where there is one, there is many”

“And, as for the unfortunate soul who ran over this small fellow”

“May Skaargen’s swift blade have mercy”

Pray for the poor unfortunate soul. In pain, in need.

“It appears the only thing being delivered is failed expectations” This quote is true. Why don’t we use it more? Voltron, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, Marvel, Supernatural. You name it.

“War Hammer to Trollhunter, the package has arrived” That was fast. They just said it wasn’t here.

The Trump Supporters going to raid the- No i’m not going to do that. That is an insult to the goblins.

“Yes! My spy gear has arrived!”

“Unassembled!” That was Amazon’s fault. Not the employees.

“He shall be avenged!”

Honestly, goblins are scary, but the fact that they’ll always avenge one their own is actually kinda sweet. Scary, but sweet.

“Whoa... Where’s my truck?” He got fired the next day, did he?

“Thank gosh for Nana’s anti-burglar mania” Those lights keeps us safe from burglars, and goblins.

“Wa-cha-ka!” “We’ll be back”

“I find stress eating calms me down” Eating always calms us down.

“Great Gronka Morka!”

“What is the gnome doing in this dollhouse?” This is a high priority.

“Toby-pie? I don’t recognize that voice. Who is that?”

“It’s a friend, Nana! I do have more than one!”

“No, you don’t” Savage Nana.

“Aaarrrgghh and i will seek out this den, wherever it may be”

“You just focus on your studies”

“It seems life has thrown enough at you for one day”

“But a gnome in a dollhouse?” Don’t let this be anyway to get away from the fact that a gnome lives in a dollhouse.

“Hey, come on! You gonna your head in the game, Tobes. You know like that High School Musical song”

“My gronk-nuks” Always hit them in the gronk-nuks.

“Pretty good, Romeo”

“But kiss your Juliet goodbye”

“Leave Claire out of this. And how do you even know i like her?” “Everyone knows” “Steve, you’re stupid, You couldn’t figure this out yourself” “I did figure this out myself!” “...” “Fine. Eli told me” “Sorry Jim”

“Pucker up, Steve, and kiss this!”

“Whoa!”

“NO!”

“Oh, snap!”

“Why is everything and everyone talking in slow motion?” “To make it more dramatic” “Okay, can we speed this up so the ball can hit me in the face, and you guys can go to the museum and then go to jail?” “Fine”

“Nunez, why didn’t you DODGE?!”

“So, she has a fat lip. People pay good money for that sort of look” Wait.

She took a dodge ball to the face, and she only got a fat lip? Claire, i love you, and you’re my favorite character and everything, but bullshit (Or as Draal would say: Bushigal!) that should’ve given you a black eye. Actually looking more closely, she should’ve gotten a broken nose. And Claire, again, i love you.

I paused and got this. Enjoy it.

“It was better when you could see the Neanderthals”

How the fuck do you not look up?!

What the fuck?!

“She’s a monster, Jim! I saw her face! it wasn’t natural!”

“She’s, like, some sort of troll-

“What?”

“...but one of us. Like a weird half-breed thing, man”

“Maybe it was just the lighting”

“The lighting?” It’s always the lighting’s fault.

“But a human Trollhunter”

“That i’ve never tasted”

“Then let’s see how you like the taste of Daylight”

“That was a good one, Jimbo” That was a good one.

“You... Give it back!”

“You’ll die for that”

Truth be told i actually recognize that song playing in the background. Don’t know the name, but i heard it before. It was on a Miraculous Ladybug crack video on YouTube. It was so funny.

“All that fancy armor and you’re just a scared little boy”

“Fear heightens your senses”

“Fear keeps you alive”

“Arrogance gets you killed”

“Arrogance gets you killed!”

Arrogance will be your downfall.

Goblin with a mustache count: 3

“No, it wasn’t me! No! No!”

And she somehow survives this.

“They’re walking among us, Tobes! Anyone could be an Imposter!”

“Hands up!”

“On the ground, now!”

“Dispatch, we have the teens that match the description of the museum break-in. You’re coming with us” 5 episodes in and they’re already going to jail.

Shapeshifting beings walking among us? Who could be an imposter?

And tomorrow is a battle to the death!

[itsclydebitches]

I LOVE shows where the heroes kill the goons and are still unambiguously good. The original Star Wars trilogy had a lot of this, Luke has a body count in the MILLIONS after blowing up the Death Star, but most seem his the ideal hero during the original trilogy era, and they’re right! I also regret bringing up FMA 🤢 I hate that show so much 😒

LOL oh no I’m sorry for delving into a series you hate that much. Yeah, even the most popular stuff isn’t going to be to everyone’s tastes. There are a couple super popular anime that I simply couldn’t get into despite the hype. 

Agree about Star Wars though. In the sense that I theoretically agree that it’s a problem, but it never bothered me overly much in Star Wars specifically just because the original trilogy was pretty simple in regards to its Good vs. Evil dichotomy. Fresh-faced, orphaned farm boy is Good. Creepy, masked, dressed all in black Sith is Bad. The audience is very capable of asking those questions themselves - “Hey, why is Luke treated as an unambiguous hero when he slaughtered so many people? Even people on the wrong side?” - but it’s not a question that the story draws any attention to (not to my recollection, anyway). Pretty much every interaction contains that Good/Bad simplicity. When Darth Vader is choking people he’s Bad. When he saves Luke he’s Good again... or at least good enough that no one is supposed to question Luke carrying his father and sadly watching him pass. The story doesn’t invite you to grapple with whether Luke should demonstrate empathy here, you just roll with the “fact” that he’s good enough again to receive that. We might not agree with/like that setup (heroes/villains who do horrible things but are nevertheless celebrated/forgiven) but I acknowledge that the complexity inherent in that isn’t what every story is going for. Some stories just want you to engage in that black and white perspective from the get-go. It’s a particular type of escapism. 

Which, for me, is the difference between something like Star Wars and RWBY. RWBY, in contrast, has deliberately introduced a TON of gray and built that directly into its story in a manner that they WANT you to grapple with. They want to be “deep.” The complicated ethics of any given situation is meant to be at the forefront of these conflicts... yet at the last point we keep swerving back into that black and white thinking to ensure that the “heroes” remain heroes. If you want me to unambiguously support them like Luke Skywalker than don’t draw any attention to those complications. Fans might realize those complications later - “HE KILLED SO MANY PEOPLE??” - but that’s not built into the celebratory moment of destroying the Death Star. RWBY is building those moments in and is thus responsible for following through with them. 

Basically, if a story does the work to say, “I don’t want you thinking too hard about this. Please just enjoy this tale of good conquering evil” I’ll go, “Okay!” and do that. I might acknowledge those complexities afterward if I feel like it, but I won’t drag the story for it because I recognize that examining those were never the story’s intention. I’m not going to yell at someone for not making a victorian sponge when they said they’d be bringing a box vanilla cake. They’re both good in different ways. But if the story does acknowledge those complexities... does promise something more technically/morally deep... and then doesn’t deliver? That’s a problem. 

[gffa]

Alphabet Squadron | by Alexander Freed SPOILERS FOR ALPHABET SQUADRON.  One of the things that I find to be sort of fascinating--in a way that I’m not sure how I feel about, because it’s a big, complicated tangle of issues--is the look at the New Republic and how it wasn’t always that great. Bloodline covers how they sank into inefficiency almost immediately.  The Poe Dameron comics touch on how nobody wants to hear about or think about the Empire anymore.  So many of the other ST-based supplementary materials talk about how nobody wants to admit the First Order is a thing that’s happening.  Black Spire is all about the people of Batuu not wanting to pick a side.  Allegiance is all about dealing with how people are scared the New Republic is going to drag them into the same brutal war they faced with the Empire.  Aftermath novels point out that the New Republic is really kind of toothless and is caught between a rock and a hard place, re: overextending themselves to help people vs creating a stable system to build on. Alphabet Squadron is primarily about the hot messes that are joining the New Republic, it’s a street-level look most of the time (and the main higher up who appears is Hera, who is amazing), but there’s this moment towards the end.  Where the New Republic sent a squad after an Imperial Major, where they were shooting to kill when he wouldn’t come with them. This is similar to the way the Aftermath crew comes together to hunt down Imperials who committed atrocities during the Galactic Civil War, only seen from the other side this time.  The wrinkle of the whole thing is this--the Imperial Major tried to get his crew to join the New Republic, those who could make a life there anyway.  And he tried to disappear, to walk away from it all, but the New Republic hunted him down, so he realized there was no place for him.  On the one hand, it’s hard not to feel at least a little sympathetic that someone wanted to walk away from fighting for evil, they wanted to take themselves out of the equation. But on the other hand, he did so after they lost.  Not just after Endor, but after Operation Cinder and the Battle of Jakku.  After he knew he couldn’t win, then he left.  Left behind all the horrible things he would have been a part of in the Empire.  No shit they’re not going to just leave him be, he gave that up when he stuck with the Empire long past the time it was even somewhat understandable. Yet this probably also means shit’s going to hit the fan and people are probably going to die, because he felt driven back to the Empire, because there was no place for him in the new galaxy the New Republic was building.  But that’s also not on the New Republic, they’re not the ones choosing to go be an asshole, they’re not responsible or at fault for  Soran Keize‘s shitty choices. One of the things that the supplementary material works really well for with me is that it doesn’t diminish that Star Wars is a space fairy tale about good vs evil, but there’s room in the comics and novels for a more difficult look and that there are no easy or simple answers.  But seeing the mistakes of the New Republic, yet knowing that they were unequivocally the good guys, that they were trying to find a path out of a horrible situation and didn’t have 20/20 hindsight or an omniscient point of view, really gets me in the feelings place.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 8 Worst Christmas Episodes

Happy Holidays everybody! If your wondering where i’ve been.. i’ve been a combination of swamped with holiday activity, and just plain activity, and procastinating on getting content out for this blog.. but i’m kicking myself to actually get in gear. And I can’t think of a better reason than the holidays.  I love this time of year, while it can be physically and financially exhausting, people can act like rabid wildebeasts in stores, and there’s no end of jackasses who refuse to accept that Christmas isn’t the only holiday in town and that it’s perfectly fine if people want to you know, celebrate something else. But beneath it all is heart: giving gifts to people you love out of the kindness of your heart, beautiful decorations put up with care and holiday warmth, people freezing their asses off for charity everywhere.. there’s a lot of good done and a lot of good underneath.  And part of that good is Christmas Episodes. I do love me a good holiday episode and there’s been plenty of great Christmas epsidoes with a few Hannkuah and Kwanza ones thrown in. But for the mountain of presents of episodes, that we will get to, there’s also a small pile of cole that’s become sentient and stalks me every holiday season.. my meataphor may of gotten off track but the point is out of the VAST majority of good to decent holiday episdoeds there’s a handful I just.. flat out hate. ones that either miss the point, are unecessarily cruel and not nearly funny enough about it, or ones that are simply bad episodes of their show that happen to be christmasy. SO let us unwrap the pauly shore of christmas gifts, these are my 8 most hated christmas episodes.. and this is just episodes of ongoing shows, not specials (Though the episode being longer than usual is fine). Otherwise number one would be that time Chewy’s family killed time while his wife’s dad masturbated. As for why 8, my lists on this blog will vary based on need and I could only find 8 I TRULY loathed.. I didn’t want to pad the bottom of the list with mediocre episodes... only the cream of the crap and my christmas fury here. Now that’s out of the way, let’s ho ho go.  P.S. No the brooklyn nine nine episode is not on the list, I just love tha timage and felt it fit. 

8. The Finster Who Stole Christmas (All Grown Up)  This is by far the tamest on the list. I don’t hate All Grown Up. It is a confused shows (with early middle schoolers acting like high schoolers and what not), but it’s just medicore at worst outside of a few episodes. This one though.. is just bleh.  Chucky\ finds a tree on the street that’s perfect, wanting to have a memorable christmas for once. HE takes it home, thinking it’s abandoned, and it’s instead thought to be stolen and we spend a whole epsidoe watching a fucking 12 year old slowly be consumed by guilt.. I hate these kinds of plots. it’s one thing if the character genuinely fucked up or you mine some humor out of it, but it’s a nother when a character genuinely made a mistake and is instead internally tourtured. All the kid wanted was a tree.. he was kind of an idiot but the amount of vitrol over someone TAKING A TREE OFF THE STREET THA TWAS UNMARKED AND YOU DIDN’T TAKE INSIDE. is baffling.

7. Merry Christmas Mordecai (Regular Show) I do like Regular Show. While i’ve latched on to other shows far more, I still enjoyed the show and was a huge fan of it for some time.. this is the episode that killed that. The reason it’s lower is as an episode, it’s only the last two minutes or so that’s truly terrible, but GOD I hate this episode with every fiber of my being.. .the arc would get MUCH worse, but this did kick it off and turn me off the show for some time, though I did come back by the final season so there’s that.  The plot is simple: Mordecai is nervous because his ex Margret will be at the same party he’ll be with his new girlfriend CJ. Things go fine, it’s awkard but whatever.. and then he has a flashback.. and KISSES HIS EX , PASSOINATLEY AS SEEN ABOVE, in FRONT of his new girlfriend. The hero of our show, who was kinda shitty early on but that was ironed out by this point, cheated... and ruined a relationship I happened to really like. The problems of this arc are deep, vast and will require their own article some day, but yeah.. this one scene ruins the episode and set off one of the worst romantic plot tumors i’ve seen in a show and is so nonesnical , yes I get getting swept up in old emotions but you still cheated dum dum, I can’t help but put the whole episode here. It’s like a tootsie pop but the center is somehow full of bees: sure you enjoyed it but the amount of beestings in your mouth will make you hate the experince anyway. That said I will leave this clusterfuck on this blessed image because fuck if it can take it away from me. 

Thank god they didn’t ruin these two for me. 

6. Doug’s Christmas Story (Doug (Nickleodeon Run)

Only 90′s kids will rue the day this episode was born. Doug was mostly a bland and forgetable show.. but this episode is just unspeakably depressing. The premise is Doug’s dog, porkchop, saves local rich kid Bebe from thin ice, she thought he bit him.. and doug’s dog gets put on trial and SENTENCED TO DEATH AT THE POUND. Despite the fact the thin ice sign is clearly there, and this is a GROSS over reaction to a leg injury that wasn’t even caused by the biting. Porkchop knocked her down he didn’t tear off her leg or something.. the ep is lower because it IS well voice acted, but good acting only makes it that much more heartwrenching and makes me question WHY THIS for the christmas story. It’s not a TERRIBLE idea for a story, but for an episode your going to play every year ,epseically for a young network such as nick who only had three shows to start and thus would need this in rotation for some time, WHY would anyone think “Dog gets sentenced to murder for doing something good” , even if it turns around in the ending, is something people would want to SEE every year. Just a poorly written tear jerker that , while thankfully far away from my own nieces where it can’t scar them for life, will likely never leave my memory. 

5. Stump Day (Star vs the Forces of Evil) Oh god this one.. while the top 4 are far worse, this one is still ungodly aggravating. It DOES have a good joke at the begining.  Kid: Uncle River can you tell us the story of stump day? River: (Jovially) Ha ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do! (Tells story anyway) But after that... ti’s the story of Marco throwing Star a birthday party on Stump Day, Mewni’s christmas. As someone who has a birthday near a holiday, if not on one, I do sympathize. All your present days and celebration are crammed into one tight period. Marco means well and gathers all her friends, and her boyfriend tom.. and star flips out not wanting to piss off the stump. So far no bad... Marco meant well but didn’t know how much she cared, Even though Tom warned him I do get star being unpredictable and thus taking the shot anyway.. then he INSISITS on having the party anyway, and has the fucking BALLS to call tom a bad boyfriend when tom eventually calls him out on wanting to keep it going. Especially since Marco COULD’VE just made it into a holiday party to make her happy without sending everyone home. But no he had to be a selfish, entitled dick weed. While tom DOES lunge at marco after Marco calls him a bad boyfriend, Marco again went FAR out of linea nd insulted his own friend because he’s jealous Tom’s with star, and he’s not. ANd then a stump attacks... and then TOM’S forced to apologize. For attacking marco, yeaht hat’s fair but for being a bad boyfriend? No... Marco was the dick and he basically wins anyway despite agian, a simple solution being right there. Let’s move on. 

4. Road to the North Pole (Family Guy) Oh boy this one.. this was at the tale end of my watching Family Guy, before “Quagmire’s Dad” out and out pissed me off enough to finally leave, being you know a transphobic mess i’ll defintley talk about in the future, but this was close: An uncomfortable, unfunny christmas special that starts with Quagmire being overly hostile to Brian for a mistake he couldn’t have possibly known about and continues into a trip to the North Pole where the elves have become deformed due to industralization and Santa is deathly ill and Stewie and Brian have to convince people to ask for less to save him.  The IDEA here is not bad, and after this and the doug entries I want to make something clear: dark, twisted, messed up... these are not bad things for a christmas special to be. Futrama’s two christmas episodes , and to a lesser extent it’s one holdiay episode, are really funny and this trinity’s going to war from the movie is a holiday staple to me. 

See that’s some good all inclusive holiday hilarity that’s patently messed up.. and a emotinal holiday story with some dark themes? also works... King of the HIll had a whole episode where bill was sucidial before taking on the persona of his ex wife that was damn good, having some humor while still having a fairly depressing story with a solid emotional core. You CAN be dark , subversive.. but you have to have a point. Doug was bad because it leaned too far into the misery and that’s what ultimatley hobbles this episode too. You have to have SOMETHING to make people invested besides holding a gun to their dog’s head or KILLING SANTA.  This ep has a godo concept, santa having to industralize to keep up and slowly growing exausted or sick from it.. it’s not bad at all.. but the ep takes it too far and dosen’t have enough emotion to it to brign us back from the brink. It’s especially galling since family guy had DONE a christmas episode in it’s earlier, better seasons, that was far better than this, so while I don’t fault them for wanting to do a second one I DO fault them for doing it so poorly and wasting a potetinally tearjerking and well done concept on a crappy meanspirited wasted hour of my life.. because oh yes, this was an hourlong special. Ho ho hum. 

3. Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (The Simpsons) This one MEANS well but just ends up misrable. The premise isnt’ TERRIBLE: Bart burns down the christmas decorations, fakes a robbery and then feels really guilty as the family is helped by those around them. The issue is when Bart is found out, while his family is furious the town ALL shuns the simpsons with pure hatred, and later robs their house and leaves them with nothing. It’s not an episode i have TONS to say on like those above and bellow, it’s just miserable... and like I ranted about before black comedy can work but this took it too far: most of the simpsons did nothing wrong and bart was throughly punished with his heavy amount of guilt. The show already did “Bart feel sbad after doing something awful at christmas time” FAR BETTER in “Marge not be proud” which, while one I don’t really watch because it is hard to watch at times, is still excellent and Is hard to watch for the RIGHT reasons instead of just being mean spirited. Now from mean spirited to .. I dont’ even know with this one.

2.. Mrs. Wakefield (King of the HIll) What a shock, ANOTHER show I really like that had a terrible episode. No really most of these shows I liked at some point. That includes the top 2, King of the Hill, especially towards the end, had some really bad ones, and a really REALLY weird one that played out like a psyological horror film and ended with a mentally damaged man turned into sausage, yes really, and this one is no exception.  Mrs. Wakefield is the story of an old woman who grew up in the hills house.. and wants to die there...  just stay until she dies. I get being lonely during the holidays, which is the given reason why she’s really doing this she’s cripplilngly alone: being alone sucks. I know this, I understand this.. but it still dosen’t mean you can die in someone’s house. That’s a traumatlizing pile of stuff your foisting on people you barely know and Hank keeps getting vialnized for throwing her out by the neighbors.. for NOT WANTING SOMEONE TO DIE IN HIS HOUSE. And later it gets to the point where she’s playing hider in the house and hiding in there trying to die.. what COULD be kinda funny in a twisted way just ends up being creepy. And again this episode had what was essentially a horror story about Luann marrying an older man who slowly moldeed her into the mascot for his company, chased her and peggy around in a pig mask, then got cured of his psychosis just in time to end up as sausage. And yes that was a real thing that happened. They probably shouldn’t do horror but they can do it but here it’s just dumb. Also for those curious while I haven’t seen it hider in the house is a film i’ve heard of about a man who lives in the walls of a house and stalks the suburban family that moves in to no one’s shock, it stars gary busey. I would also not be suprised if that was his life right now. But busey aside, this episode is terrible and like family guy after it and simpsons before it, King of The Hil lhad several stellar holiday episodes and as I mentioned made suicide and devloping a split personality into comedy while still keeping the drama so this.. this is inexcusable. Speaking of inexusable

1. A Robot for All Seasons (My Life as a Teenage Robot) Oh my aching head this one.... yeah this one somehow COMBINES problems from above with it’s own bundle. It has the tonal issues most of these have, being far too bleak without any real effort to back it up.. but it also makes the ENTIRE CAST into dickheads Minus our hero and her semi-stalker Sheldon.  The basic premise is Jenny, our teenage robot, gets kidnapped and taken over by a miserable boy who has her ruin christmas and every other holiday and then wake up with no memory of her being BRAINSWAHSED into it. The IDEA isn’t bad... it’s a dark cirumstnace but it’s a good premise for a half hour special and would have her on the run with her friends trying to help her after beliving she couldn’t do it right? Well... as I said, ENTIRE CAST: Brad, Tuck, HER OWN FUCKING MOTHER all apparently belivie jenny just snapped and did this all on her own, despite you know mountains of super villians. No one came looking for her, no one thought she was acting weird, no one cared. her mother is outright working on the next model.. it’d be okay if they were supsicious or if they wondered why or if ANY OF THEM besides sheldon had looked for her or done anything or if the bad guy had had her act like this was her idea.. but no she just acts massively out of character by ruining lives for a full year, and no one is suspcious and by the end all is forgiven for both the antagnoist and the assholes, even though the assholes all abandoned their best friend/daughter instead of trying to figure out what’s wrong and the angagonist, kid or no kid STOLE A YEAR OF JENNY’S LIFE AND NEARLY RUINED THE REST OF IT. And I know she’s a robot, she is immortal etc.. but she wants to be normal. she lost a year of high school, a year of friends and nearly lost everything.. and yet is just supposed to FORGET that? or that again everyone around her minus her stalker gave up on her? Fuck that, fuck this and... have a happy holidays.  The holidays are more than this pile of garbage and I will be back sometime before the 25th to celebrate the best rather than the worst, to spread joy rather than headaches.. but I do hope if you had to endure any of these that this helped you like it helped me. Have a wonderful holiday time and i’ll see you soon. 

[erdariel]

Okay, so, first of all, a disclaimer. In this post I'm not gonna debate whether Rise of Skywalker was a good movie or not, or whether this whole sequel trilogy was any good or a complete shitshow. Everyone probably has their own opinions, and I don't really care what they are. And of the point I'm gonna bring up next, I do not mean to say it's good or bad desicion (honestly, in these things, is there even objective good or objective bad? Dunno). It just sort of... caught my eye, and I like rambling so I'm gonna ramble about it.

(Also, please keep in mind, I'm really just a casual watcher of Star Wars, not really a fan, I have no in-depth knowledge of the universe and I don't wanna be involved in the fandom. I just think lightsabers and Rey and princess Leia are cool and R2D2 and BB-8 are cute.)

But yeah, my point is, it's an interesting choice to have Kylo Ren redeemed. I mean, yes. I know why they did it, I understand. He was following in Darth Vader's footsteps, and as Vader's life, so his, would lead into the Light again. They were tempted, both by promises of good things and threats of bad, by evil people being evil and by basically good people accidentally fucking up, they were led into the Dark Side, they didn't set out wanting to conquer the world for themselves. It makes sense. Though of course, after the evils they'd done, the only way to end their tale in Light was the "Redemption equals death" trope, because death is the ultimate sacrifice, so of course it's also the one that will get more things forgiven than anything else. But still, they had to be redeemed, both Vader and Kylo Ren.

Except... I think Kylo Ren's sins would in most stories count as worse. Why? Because of the first memorable villainous act - really, their most villainous act - on screen in the movies. I would argue that for Darth Vader, it's killing Obi-Wan Kenobi. For Kylo Ren, it's killing Han Solo.

I don't think those acts are equal. On the first glance you might think so. It's the villain around whom the story revolves, killing the older character who's acted as some kind of a mentor to the hero or heroes. Okay, Han Solo had been one of the cool young heroes in previous movies, whereas Obi-Wan (until the prequels came, anyway) had not, so there has to be even within the story a slightly different weight given to Han Solo's death, it has to be kinda dealt with, properly. But otherwise, you might think at first that it's the same.

However, the intention's of Obi-Wan vs Han when they go face Vader/Kylo are different. As is the relationship between the villain and the character he kills. The intention, as a rule, must affect how the death is portrayed in the narrative and how it feels to the audience. The relationship does not necessarily havr to affect it, probably, I guess, but it typically does and there's certain clear ways it typically affects things in fiction.

Let's discuss the intention first. Obi-Wan goes to face Darth Vader in battle, to give the young heroes time to get their plan done and escape. He doesn't necessarily intend to kill Vader, but he intends to fight him, and is prepared, expects, actually, to die as a result of it.

Han Solo, on the other hand, goes to face Kylo Ren in order to once more offer the chance to turn to the Light Side, to come back to the right path. He doesn't intend to battle, just to talk. He doesn't seem to be prepared for the possibility that Kylo will kill him, or at least he's not expecting it anymore at the point when he is killed.

Those, just story-wise speaking, aren't equam. At least I wouldn't accept it if a story said that killing someone in a fair fight, when they have come to the fight willingly and fully aware that it may result in their death, was equal to killing someone who didn't have a weapon in their hand, trying to solve things by speaking, by surprise without giving them even the chance to defend themselves. But what about the relationship between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader/Han Solo and Kylo Ren?

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader used to have a teacher/student kind of relationship. A very close one, true, and there was friendship also in addition to their formal master/padawan relationship.

But Han Solo was Kylo Ren's father. They were close family. And in my experience, western fiction at least (I kinda assume that eastern fiction as well, but I don't have much experience of Japanese fiction and next to none of Chinese, or Korean, or Indian, or, well, you get my point, so I can't know for sure) tends to hold parent/child relationship as especially important, nearly sacred. I'm not saying that's how it should be, and I'm not saying there aren't any exceptions, but I feel that generally speaking, parent/child -relationship is very important. Due to that, still generally speaking, I feel that it tends to be a worse crime in fiction for a child to kill their biological parent (unless the parent is a proper villain, in which case killing them could be a justified act) than for someone to kill their former friend, or their former teacher.

On both of the aforementioned scales, Kylo Ren's act should be considered worse. It should make him less redeemable. Okay, fine, Kylo Ren also killed two bigger villains and saved Rey's life, as opposed to Darth Vader who only killed one bigger villain and saved Luke's life, but I don't think that alone is enough good deeds done to balance out his evil, if even for Vader's deeds, death was still required to redeem him.

It's just an interesting choice, to make Kylo Ren commit crimes that typically in fiction are portrayed as very grave and yet have him redeemed. I'm not saying it's a wrong choice, and I'm not saying it makes the sequel trilogy bad. As I said, I understand the writers' reasons for choosing to redeem him. I have my own opinions on whether it was good or bad, but I tried my best to leave that out of this. I'm entitled to my opinions, all of you are entitled to yours. I just found what I explained above interesting so I thought I'd point it out.

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Wario vs. Dedede.

Two gluttons of greed battle it out in the ring! Time to see if Smash Tier Lists are lore consistent or not (They aren’t, if Kirby is at the bottom when he’s canonically the most powerful video game character).

Wario′s Preview.

We all know Mario. He’s a hero, a plumber, and many more things. He’s one of the seven star children of the Mushroom Kingdom. But one day, Mario returned home to find his castle under control of someone else. That person is Wario. WAH!

Wario is the opposite of Mario in pretty much every way. While Mario is kind and heroic, Wario is selfish and greedy. In fact, little Japanese lesson, Wario is derived from the Japanese word “Warui”, or “Bad.”

Subtlety is not Nintendo’s forte.

But, as it turns out, Wario wasn’t always bad. As young children, he and Mario played “Cops ‘n Robbers” 1256 times. And despite constantly asking otherwise, Wario only got to be the cop once.

… Y’know, between the “Mario is a war criminal” meme and this, the whole “Mario is a psycho” thing from GameTheory is starting to hold water, just not for the reasons that MatPat came up with. 

Anyways, in order to stack up to Mario, Wario needs to have plenty of abilities to counter with. He can even attack by farting. But it’s no ordinary fart, Wario uses The Waft. Which is basically the grossest thing that Nintendo has ever thought of.

But for a Flatulence Nuke, it’s not bad. At least in Smash, anyways. Otherwise, it’s just a stink nuke.

As it turns out, Boomstick has been working on a way to harness the power of farts in a device that he built in Wiz’s lab (Don’t ask how he got in, he’s not telling).

(Not pictured: The part where Wiz passes out because of the Wind Breaker).

Anyways, onto Wario’s arsenal.

Wario has plenty of things on him that can give him an edge up over his foes. Including bombs, transformative hats, and a slew of powers that he gets from his cartoon physics physique.

He can become bouncy by being squished, inflate himself to become big, use the Eagle Statue to achieve flight (Or he could just down some garlic to become Wario-Man, complete with pink tights and a cape), or even become metal. And remember that explosion Mario survived? Well, those bombs were Wario’s, and he was right in the middle of it. And if you recall, that blast came out to be about…

This isn’t even counting the time he defeated the Shake King, who exploded to blow up an island. Judging by the size of the Shake Dimension (By use of a map), and the size of the clouds that parted because of the explosion, the overall blast can come out to just short of 96 sextillion tons of TNT.

Despite his greed, disgusting body, and overall demeanor, Wario is a powerhouse. He’s defeated plenty of powerful foes and lived to tell the tale. Mario may beat him time and time again (primarily due to Wario’s intelligence (or lack thereof)), but that persistance is pretty admirable.

Dedede′s Preview.

The kingdom of Dreamland is filled with all sorts of creatures, big and small. Most of which are adorable as a baby seal.

But, this land is ruled by a self-appointed dictator named King Dedede. A tyrannical dictator who deliberately made a food shortage once.

However, Dedede would be stopped by a cute pink puffball of absolute destruction: Kirby. Everyone’s favorite lovable pink ball.

Although, the rivalry between Kirby and Dedede aren’t always with malicious intent.

The time Dedede stole the Star Rod, he was trying to stop the vile Nightmare from destroying everything.

Surprise plot twist: Dedede’s mean side comes from a jealousy of Kirby rather than any real evil place.

So, after seeing Kirby’s popularity surpass his own, Dedede made up his mind: He would surpass Kirby.

Dedede learned how to inhale objects and spit them out at incredible speeds. On top of his training to increase his speed, strength, and durability, Dedede learned how to fly.

By sucking a lot of air, Dedede can fly like Kirby. This is backed up by absolutely zero science and makes no logical sense. But who cares. Let’s let the penguin fly! They guy earned it through his intense training.

Dedede can even spit out air bullets that can destroy solid stone.

But even Dedede can’t get by just stolen techniques. Sure, the big guy has an army at his call, but he’s also got his signature hammer to take people down personally with.

This hammer can emit ice to ice up opponents, and even features a jet booster that is oh-so satisfying to land in Smash. Especially since it isn’t that good of a move.

But Dedede isn’t limited by just that single mallet. He’s got plenty on him that can give him extra abilities.

From the Star Hammer, to the Electric Hammer, the latter of which doubles as a multi-barrel rocket launcher, the King has it all. Screw Gun-Swords and Sniper-Scythes indeed. This is the weapon with firepower!

Dedede also has a lot of Gordos to command and throw at his foes. And when he wants to get rough (or rougher, in this case), Dedede busts out the aforementioned electric hammer and a mask to become… The Mysterious Masked Dedede!

The Penguin King has also spit Kirby to break Pop Star’s atmosphere. Which puts his spitting speed at over mach 30. Good thing that he’s become more of a good guy over the years, because it’s not healthy to be jealous of Kirby.

But since Dedede regularly goes up against and keeps up with Kirby, that means that his power has to rival the Pink Marshmallow. Kirby once broke the planet in a single chop. So, let’s get some calcs for that.

So, Dedede is definitely hitting above his pay grade. Even if Kirby isn’t hitting him with this amount of force with every punch, Dedede fights on equal footing with him. Meaning that it’s reasonable that he scales to the Pink Puffball in some way.

Also, Dedede has also gone toe-to-toe with the likes of Meta Knight.

For reference, Meta Knight once made a casual flight from one end of the galaxy to the other in seconds. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that Dedede can do that, but between that and the time he dodged a meteor

(this one)

That was moving 160,000 mph proves that Dedede is a lot faster than you might think.

The guy also helped fight Magalor, who made a Black Hole in another dimension that Dedede survived. Which proves that he don’t need a monster to “Clobbah dat dere Kirby!”

While Dedede’s grudge is still held, he’s always come through for the Kingdom of Dreamland more times than he’s been against it. Proving that he just might have earned his title in some way.

Because there is only one bonafide ruler of that kingdom. King Dedede!

The Battle Itself.

Kiid Zack  are animating, Appetite For Greed by Brandon Yates, Jerky as the  sprite artist, and Chris Kokkinos lead on audio.

Okay, before we start, these guys need to stop giving us instances where the “FIGHT” clip would be appropriate. First the Widow-Widow bullet clash, now this. Regardless, the two are clashing in an arena.

(Look at Waddle Dee! He’s so adorable!)

The Mysterious Masked Dedede takes the first attack, after a quick scuffle, he launches his Magnhild-style weapon, but it looks like Wario-Man is too fast for them, so the fight gets Physical.

But The Mysterious Masked Dedede manages to get some distance so that he can fire some… fire…

So, after Wario-Man takes some damage, he also runs into The Mysterious Masked Dedede. So, Wario-Man’s outfit gets burned and The Mysterious Masked Dedede’s mask gets shattered. Revealing…

It was Wario and Dedede the whole time! That’s good. I was starting to think that these were the wrong combatants.

But it looks like Dedede kinda… Recognizes Wario.

As it turns out, this battle is a bit more personal.

See, Wario stole Dedede’s hot dog and then farted in his face. Which doesn’t sit well with the Triple D. But, as it turns out, Dedede isn’t so innocent either…

See, Dedede stole the front wheel of Wario’s bike to fit with one of his subjects. So needless to say, Wario is also pretty miffed.

But this shocking reveal has blown more than just many audience member’s minds. It has also blown the minds of Waddle Dee and a Goomba…

… Literally.

So the battle rages on. Leaving Dedede to use his multiplication powers to pin Wario down (After the big W used his dragon hat to use fire attacks) to pin him down and smash him over the head. This is after Wario ate Dedede’s electric hammer, by the way.

Which results in…

… This…

Wario pulls out some bombs, and launches them.

So what’s Dedede’s solution?- Inhale them of course.

Which also results in Wario being caught in the vacuum.

Y’know, I really don’t like how Nintendo made Wario’s defining character trait “Disgustingness.”

So, with the arena destroyed and the building they’re fighting in gone, the fight’s now in an open field.

So Dedede and Wario both use their respective abilities to enlarge themselves for a big fight.

Not necessarily a beam  struggle, but it’ll do.

But given who these two are, it’s inevitable that they’ll tire out.

So they make some distance. Where Wario prepares his atomic Waft to blow Dedede to oblivion.

But Dedede has a trick in his… Belt?- What even is that thing around his waist?

Y’know, Boomstick said that the Gordo was a “Pain in the ass” in Dedede’s rundown, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t what he meant.

So, uh…

Ackwaaaarrrrd.

Finishing blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

SUCK IT, SMASH TIER LISTS!

Verdict + Explanation.

So, right off the bat, Wario had the edge in versatility and arsenal. Especially with his reactionary powers. But it’s not like Dedede was helpless in this regard. For example, his hammer’s ice properties could cancel out Wario’s fire.

And it’s not like Wario is at all predictable. Like, who brings flatulence to a fist fight? It’s like butt guns. Nobody expects it.

But Dedede doesn’t need power-ups to do the things Wario does. Like flight, for example.

But between Wario’s toon-physics body and Dedede’s… presence and prevalence in the Kirby series, the durability was up in the air. As was a lot of their best feats, since they could only reasonably be scaled. But it’s easy to make the reasonable assumption that Dedede takes speed due to scaling to Meta Knight, while Wario scales to Mario. But as for how fast he really is, it’s hard to say.

But speed wasn’t even that big of a factor. Especially since durability is really up in the air…

Almost.

See, while Wario surviving the Shake King’s explosion is impressive, Dedede has survived a black hole.

Comparing the size of the black hole to Kirby, there’s a general estimate that can be made about it’s stats.

With the stats of the black hole established, the overall force exerted by the singularity comes about to…

… That. Five times greater than Wario’s best durability feat. And keep in mind that this is comparing it to Kirby’s size. That’s right. This is a lowballed stat.

And yeah, sure. Wario’s survived a lot. But Dedede’s not only survived far greater attacks, but he’s also fought much stronger foes.

In the end, Wario was Dede Done. And the king took the Peng-Win.

Overall impression.

Not a fan of Wario, mostly because the guy is disgusting. But it’s an interesting battle to say the least, and the fight is really fun. Sure, it has it’s cheap moments of humor, what with fart jokes, but that primarily comes from Wario, not Dedede.

This battle also had really great and fitting music. Being a much less serious fight made it feel more cartoon-y than serious, and it’s a great return to form. It feels like an early season one battle with the intense research of the later seasons mixed in. It has fun, and it’s not afraid to have fun. It’s just a great fight.

7.1/10. I would rate it higher, but the fart jokes were really low-brow.

Next Time…

So, alien devices do what they do and attach themselves to humans that prove to be the universe’s savior?

Then let’s go green. In brightest day, in blackest night, it’s gonna be hero time!

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Proof that Humans are special.

[norcumii]

Reblogging a post from the prior blog, typos and all, because while I like the meta I am not comfortable sticking this on AO3.

Originally posted on 06/08/2018

I was kindly directed towards this post about the Mind Trick (it’s not a Jedi specific ability, so I’m not going to refer to it as the Jedi Mind Trick), because it’s one of my areas of interest and I can think of at least 3 of our stories where we’ve already planned on addressing the topic.

There is…rather a lot of this post that I take issue with. I’m making my own post because it’s a big fandom, everyone gets to view things how they want, don’t harsh the squee, etc etc.

Stuff under the cut, TRIGGER WARNINGS for: mind fuckery, gaslighting, victim blaming, and mention of various mental illnesses.

To start: mind fuckery is bad. I have a lot of personal experience with gaslighting, so I get twitchy about the notion of someone messing with my head. When I say gaslighting here, I mean both the vernacular (someone lying to fuck with a target) and the technical sense (from Wikipedia: “a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target’s belief”). So the possibility of someone coming in and forcibly changing my perceptions and memories is Very Not Cool. I think it’s an ability that canon does use a bit too casually for my own preferences, but the same could be said about how quick everyone is to pull out blasters.

Calling it ‘evil,’ though, goes way too far. As with many things, it’s neither good nor bad, it’s about how it’s used. So what good uses are there, you might ask?

Well, just off the cuff, we’ve got:

Breaking gaslighting

assisting with hallucinations and compulsive behavior

assisting with phobias

basically all the things cognitive behavioral therapy is useful for, now with a Force-assisted oomph

treating addictions

treating trauma, including PTSD

assisting with meditation and mindfulness

aiding memorization and learning

non-violent means to defuse potentially violent situations

Now, that last one in particular is questionable, and would vary as appropriate from situation to situation. Which is a greater evil, a security guard shooting and presumably killing a bank robber that could kill lots of people, or a Jedi using the Mind Trick to get them to surrender to authorities? People will probably give you different answers, but that’s the point about how this is tricky. It also doesn’t even get into ‘who decides how ethical a thing is’ and fears of authoritarian regimes, which I’m just not in the mood to tackle right now.

Moving on, we’ve got the OP’s interpretation of sources.

I. Well. Look, EU stuff is of questionable quality and level of canon in the first place. Secondly, there’s that weird split in both fandom and creators of canon where Jedi and Sith tend to be viewed as all good or all bad, not organizations what are fucked up and in need of reform. Third, I don’t have the texts they’re quoting so I can’t give you context, meanwhile it’s first person which is often used as an authorial mechanism to give unreliable narration and so immediately makes me hesitate to accept them whole-heartedly.

With all that in mind, I have a REALLY different interpretation than OP.

Jedi Order does not disclose their power, people don’t know how the Force works. All they know is that Jedi are good. That’s it.

Totally false. Both Jabba and Watto knew about the Mind Trick when it was being used on them. These are folks from Outer Rim areas – the boonies, where Republic education would not be standardized and taught – neither of them seems to be the type to either have extensive knowledge of fairy tales about Jedi abilities, nor a background in historical trivia. When Jabba declares he’s immune to Jedi mind tricks, no one around him acts confused or surprised – there’s no question what this is. Watto – a former soldier who now owns a junk shop – also knew the handwave was meant to indicate something, like he knew exactly what it would convey. So I’m pretty sure this means it’s common knowledge.

No, wait, it’s demonstrated in the next quote as to be known:

referred to by Jedi as affect mind and alter mind, but popularly known as Jedi mind tricks

JEDI refer to this ability as Affect Mind. OTHERS call it Jedi mind tricks. That doesn’t mean Sith, that means the general populace.

there are rumors but the victims are usually dismissed (or end up with brain damage) because they didn’t understand what happened to them and because this power was usually performed on “less influential” members of the Republic

Not backed up by their own data. The quote mentions “a relatively innocent subject” but there’s nothing that extrapolates to mean it’s more often used on the poor/disadvantaged. It IS typical Jedi sanctimoniousness, but it’s not about targeting more vulnerable beings.

The brain damage comment is also inaccurate for reasons I personally find frustrating. The quote is “the power can easily cause permanent damage”.

That doesn’t mean brain damage. There are plenty of ways to fuck with someone and ruin them without brain damage. IF the Mind Trick is extreme and unlimited in power, then you can make someone: perpetually anxious/depressed; so self-effacing as to never stand up for themselves; vulnerable to specific commands; all sorts of other nasty things.

That goes back to the whole ‘personal experience with gaslighting,’ and I need to point out that any of this can be done with time, patience, and willingness to fuck with someone. You don’t need the Force to do it. The Force is basically a shortcut, but vilifying the Mind Trick right off the bat because it messes with someone’s head and that’s something we norms can’t do is erroneous.

And the Jedi don’t see to care because they see their victims as weak-minded (like they had it coming).

That’s a deliberate spin on the text. Looks like I’m quoting the whole thing because I can’t pick out just one bit:

A Jedi can use the Force to manipulate the behavior and perceptions of weak-minded beings. Essentially, this power—referred to by Jedi as affect mind and alter mind, but popularly known as Jedi mind tricks—utilizes a combination of receptive empathy, projective empathy, and hypnosis. Jedi mind tricks can stop the understanding of what’s really happening by blocking the senses, and can also obliterate memories altogether or even replace them with false ones. [Star Wars Jedi vs Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force by Ryder Windham]

As a Jedi, you should be able to sense immediately whether the guard is prone to violence or susceptible to fear. This knowledge can be used to your advantage, and may direct your use of affect mind. Also, you must determine whether it is best to divert or subdue your target. Such decisions must often be made instantly, without hesitation. What would I have done in such a situation, you ask? I really can’t say. A Jedi is not proud or boastful, and I trust you will understand I am sincere when I say that it is hard for me to imagine that the guard might have spied me in the first place, had I not wished to be seen. But if a guard had seen me, I might make him believe I was nothing but a gust of wind, or the shadow of a soaring indigenous avian. A Jedi can do such things, for it is the will of the Force. [Star Wars Jedi vs Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force by Ryder Windham]

“Weak-minded” isn’t victim bashing, it’s back to sanctimoniousness. The narrator is describing who it can affect. It’s the exact same phrasing that was used in the Original Trilogy when we first encountered it. It’s not “those who are affected by the Mind Trick are weak willed and deserve it,” it’s “the Mind Trick only works on those with weak wills, and if someone isn’t weak willed then we’re just standing there waving a hand and talking like an idiot.” Which ALSO ignores that there are entire species who are resistant/immune to the Mind Trick and mental influences, and they can’t all be ‘strong-willed’ so that means the comment is bullshit anyways. It’s shorthand for “so this works on some people, but if they’re already on alert or tend to be stubborn you’re shit out of luck when it comes to making friends and influencing people even with your space magic.”

The “will of the Force” bullshit is more of the same. It’s a sanctimonious way of saying “I got lucky on the genetic lottery,” not “It’s the will of the Force I have this power and it’s the will of the Force this weak-minded being is here therefore it’s the will of the I remove their agency and do what I want to their mind.” Yes, some assholes are going to use that as an excuse for their behavior. Assholes are always going to find some excuse for their behavior, be it religion, substances, background, or whatever else might be in reach.

On top of all this, the Mind Trick is hardly a Jedi specific tool. In Rebels the Inquisitors use it. I want to say that Palpatine used it too but I can’t find anything convenient on Wookieepedia and I’m sorry, I’m not rewatching six movies and Clone Wars just to prove a point. Meanwhile, Mother Talzin DID visibly use it to manipulate both Asajj Ventress and Savage, so Nightsisters are obviously familiar with it. There’s no reason other Force users couldn’t do the same, it’s just that Jedi are the predominant group of such in the Republic.

In sum, the Mind Trick is a dick move, that post presumes a lot of incorrect things, and it really shouldn’t be called the JEDI Mind trick.

Finally, in criticism of the Jedi Order: Qui-Gon is so casual about his use in TPM, it makes me twitch. I love the guy, massive faults and all, but it often feels like this is the first tool he reaches for, not the last one. I get that this is a time-critical mission with an entire city going into prison camps, and those peoples’ fates rest on him getting shit done fast. I get that he has to weigh the Chancellor’s request vs planetary needs vs individual autonomy vs the lives of those he’s responsible for. (It’s still most often a dick move.) Meanwhile Obi-Wan’s…THING in Attack of the Clones with the deathstick dealer – I will never understand it, and I usually headcanon it as something other than what we literally see because WHAT EVEN you do not fuck with someone’s head like that. The casual “let’s raid Cad Bane’s mind!” thing in TCW is several massive types of awful. Given these charming examples (and there are others, but those are the ones I immediately think of), it’s no wonder that the Order has a reputation.

~end

There was also a follow-up post the same day:

oft-goes-awry replied to your post:I was kindly directed towards this post about the…

   RE: Obi-Wan and the Death-Sticks Guy - Without going too deeply into the Mind Trick as a whole, I think we can break this moment into two parts, neither of which are GREAT, or good, even, but are mostly pragmatism and Jedi sanctimoniousness.  1) “You don’t want to sell me death-sticks” = “I am trying to remain undercover in this bar, without causing a fuss or getting people shot, and I have neither the time nor the patience to argue with you or risk a scene. …so please, GO AWAY.“ 2) "You want to go home and rethink you life.” = Jedi Sanctimoniousness, I know what’s good for you better than you do, and I don’t think anyone should be selling death sticks, so see, I’m HELPING you?  Because Jedi know better and I am a Jedi, peon!

Yes, thank you! Well said! And credit where (what little) credit is due: he tells the guy to rethink his life, not actually change it. If dude goes home, thinks on things, and decides nope, he’s already living the life he wants, then he can keep at it –

which still sounds awful and sanctimonious, but it’s not quite as skin-crawlingly horrible.

[mondofunnybooks]

MONDO FunnyBooks: 'SLAB THEM CAKES!'

As might have been hinted at previously, here at The Mondo Mansion, we are huge wrestling marks. Love it in all of it's forms, whether Wrestlemania, G.L.O.W, Japanese Deathmatches, Hour-long matches between Ric Flair and Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat, Sting* and Robocop teaming up to fight the evil of The Four Horsemen, The Shockmaster, Vader destroying Antonio Inoki in 30 seconds, Antonio Inoki's fascinating match with Muhammed Ali, the Meltzer ratings destruction that was the Okada/Omega trilogy, a ludicrous obsession with collecting consoles in order to run obtuse Japanese only games released in the 90's or the Sunny/Sable Karate Fighters Holiday Tournament. We once sold a hundred pounds worth of graphic novels in two minutes for Humanoids based solely on the fact that we were wearing a Bullet Club T-Shirt and a fellow Young Bucks fan came over, hit us with the 'Too Sweet' hand gesture and asked us what was good.

So, as this last week has featured: The American release of the Greatest Wrestling Engine Ever Created Except Possibly The Aki One in Fire Pro Wrestling World for the PS4, The Starcast Festival happening as we type, R.D Reynolds is running riot at said event by way of Katie Vick and The Gobbledygooker, Us explaining Rey Mysterio Jr and The Blue Demon comics to one of the more respectable members of the comics ambassador community in a chip shop while buying Russian Porn Comics (More on this in the future.) and All In being broadcast on the NJPW network, our brain is basically pyro and superkicks at the moment. We intend to calm down roughly around Tuesday.

Given that we would rather read a ridiculous comic than one designated by The Grand Poobahs to be 'worthy' any day of the week, it is only destiny that we would find ourselves drawn to the wonderful world that is the wrestling comic. Naturally, there have been quite a few attempts to blend these two elements, and since both wrestling and superhero comics run on the 'Soap Operas But With Spandex.' model, it should have been an easier fit than actually has happened. There are far too many comics to recount here but here are a few of our favourites.

Tiger Mask:

Started in 1968 in Japan and serialized in 'Bokura'. Tiger Mask recounts the adventures of an Evil Heel Wrestler who strikes fear into the hearts of cowardly American Gaijin Wrestlers, but calms down a bit when he returns to America. This series has taken many forms of comics, movies and anime with the character of Tiger Mask being played by some of the greatest wrestlers ever such as Koji Kanemoto, Mitshua Misawa, Ultimo Dragon and the current incarnation Tiger Mask W is performed by Kota Ibushi, one half of the amazing tag team with some obscure guy called Kenny Omega when performed at live wrestling shows. His main baddie is The Black Tiger, most notably played by a young Eddie Guerrero. Just looking through the live history of Tiger Mask is a crash course in some of the most fantastic wrestling shows ever recorded and current anime 'Tiger Mask W' ought to be getting the sort of recognition that 'Attack On Titan' currently receives. The comics boast stunning covers far ahead stylistically and in graphic design terms to their western counterparts. A bit tricky to find legally in physical form but well worth tracking down.

Notable Mention 1: 'Warrior'. Not the worst thing The Ultimate Warrior had a hand in (See The THINGS TOO NUMEROUS TO MENTION DEPT.) but certainly up there in all-out abuse of the English Language, comics art, paragraphing, terrible concepts and unintentional homo-eroticism. Covered in far too many comic blogs to be worth going into here.

Notable Mention 2: The WWE comic from Titan. There's a good story involved with the creation of this. Given that Vince McMahon has apparently never heard of the 'Pirates Of The Caribbean' films, one I'm quite willing to believe. Literally, all we can tell you is that Triple H is actually Cain. From The Bible. As in 'And Abel'. Which is a bit odd given The WWE had a wrestler called 'Kane' knocking about whose whole schtick was that he was an evil brother, but there you go.

Spider-Man: Tangled Web 14.

SMTW was the last really interesting Spider-Man comic, for our money. An ongoing series featuring more adult or idiosyncratic takes on the world of Spider-Man from comic creators who probably wouldn't suit the on model published Amazing Spider-Man book but could be counted on to deliver a memorable story in an issue or two. The title kicked off poorly with one of Garth Ennis's less interesting tales, but quickly found itself redeemed with the'100 Bullets' team of Brian Azzallero and Eduardo Risso delivering the story of one of The Kingpin's henchmen that blew away everything else on the shelves and nominated for Eisners that year. Later issues also ran the heartbreaking by 'Flowers For Rhino' by the 'Enigma' pairing of Pete Milligan and Duncan Fegredo, one-off strips by the likes of Paul Pope, Darwyn Cooke and Kaare Andrews and the chilling 'Double Shots' by Sean Phillips and Ron Zimmerman.

Issue 14 would see Azzallero return to co-write a story with Scott Levy, better known to the world as ECW/WCW/WWF performer 'Raven'. 'The Last Shoot' concerns a New York-based promotion (roughly based on Philly's ECW.) down on its luck until one of their top stars decides to use a bit of old school promotion to turn their fortunes around. It's VERY Eisner/Dropsie Avenue in its approach, which isn't the worst influence to take on at all. The final page will alter your memory of one of the most iconic moments of Spider-Man history forever. Notably better than CM Punk's comics, although those are quite good as well.

Notable Mention 3: Marvel's W.C.W S.L.A.M. Force 'What if a drunk tried to lightbox Bryan Hitch's art in order to draw a comic where WCW wrestlers of the Goldberg/NWO era were superheroes who took their look from the worst of Image Comic's excesses?' The piece of 'Rabid Wolverine' Chris Benoit art did depict him with claws, though. So those two seconds of research into character design are recognized here.

Notable Mention 4: The 10th Muse by Image Comics. The September 1999 issue of Playboy featured then WWF Top Star Sable in a nude photoset and was one of the best selling issues of the magazine ever published. The November 2000 launching 10th Muse used Sable as a model and only had the accolade of 'Best selling comic called "10th Muse" published in November 2000!' to boast about. The inability of American men to draw realistic blonde women with large breasts that don't look like they're made from bubblegum continues to confuse us.

Finally.

The best crossover in the history of comics..

Obviously, there are some contenders for this title: Archie/Ramones. Flaming Carrot/Turtles. Savage Dragon/Destroyer Duck. Archie/Punisher. Spawn/Batman. Cerebus/Bacchus. Archie/Sharknado. Superman/Hulk by Steve Rude. Batman/Scooby Doo.

However, there is simply nothing on a scale with the December 1991 combination of Spider-Man Creator Steve Ditko drawing a strip for WWF's Battlemania that starred The Enduring Legend Of Wrestling that is...The Undertaker. It was Ditko's belief that the only stories worth working on were the ones that depicted Good Vs Evil and since this was before the infamous kayfabe breaking speech by Vince McMahon on the Dec 15th airing episode of Raw where Vince declared that fans were smart enough to recognize there were no good guys or bad guys, the simple tale of The Big Boss Man (Literal embodiment of Law and Order.) versus The Undertaker who, well, if you don't know by now, you probably didn't make it this far anyway. He's been nicknamed 'Big Evil' in the past and might have killed his parents. Let his best mate Paul Bearer be murdered in a perspex box filled with cement so he wouldn't have any weaknesses. Once tried to marry Vince McMahon's daughter after tying her to a 'symbol'. (Totally not a crucifix or a cross. Totally not that at all.)

The story is er, Paul Bearer trying to entice a lady into the Funeral Parlour. Luckily The Big Boss Man has been watching via surveillance truck and smashes through the wall to save the day from the whims of The Evil Undertaker. It doesn't really deserve the art of Ditko but is still light years ahead of their Hell In A Cell match which ended with, um, the death of The Big Boss Man via hanging. Possibly. Taker would go onto better things including an incredible run of matches at Wrestlemania involving Shawn Michaels, CM Punk, Triple H and Brock Lesnar. The Big Boss Man probably peaked somewhere between stealing the corpse of The Big Show's Dad at a funeral and feeding Al Snow his dog. All things considered, this might be a nicer way to remember Steve Ditko than how Marvel chose to treat his last creation for them. The effect of the 1st Marvel Civil War on Speedball is a tale for another time. (Also, Ditko drew an amazing Sensational Sherri Martel, who we still regard as one of the top ten workers of the 1980s.)

Just time as we settle down to download all of the performers from All In to Fire Pro World to plug the fantastic work of Erik Hodson, who drew a number of Wrestling/Comic cover mashups currently on display at Starcast. We fell utterly in love with them so here's a few examples of his fine work. Shout out to R.D. Reynolds of Wrestlecrap fame for drawing them to our attention. Check out more at www.Erik Hodson.com or donate to his patron: https://www.patreon.com/heymelby

See You ALL IN The FunnyPages.

*All jokes involving the concept  'What, the bloke out of The Police?' will be charged £9;99. Payments to the usual address.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 7 May 2018

Quick Bits:

Accell #10 begins the next arc, largely focusing this issue on Danny trying to get back on his feet, and assess damage and reparations of his personal life. Joe Casey and Damion Scott are still giving us the most traditional superhero book of the line here.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

Analog #2 is an interesting throwback. I like how Gerry Duggan, in creating this future, has effectively tossed us back to the stylistic action and intrigue of 70s and 80s thrillers.

| Published by Image

Backways #5 is the explosive conclusion to the first arc. The story reveals some of the extremes that Anna can go to with her powers as she attempts to save Sylvia. Eleonora Carlini and Silvia Tidei really shine with the art.

| Published by AfterShock

Despicable Deadpool #300 is a bit of a mess, but I get that was intentional. All of the “Marvel Universe Kills Deadpool” arc has been one failure after another as the assorted heroes and villains of Marvel have been unable to stop Deadpool. The ultimate solution leads to an opportunity for Gerry Duggan to travel through many of the highlights of his run on the series.

| Published by Marvel

Domino #2 continues the fun, action, and weird moments of self-reflection showing the true vulnerabilities and insecurities of tough-as-nails mercenaries of the first issue. Gail Simone is doing a great job at bringing out the depth of Domino’s character and the art from David Baldeón and Jesus Aburtov is gorgeous. I had pretty high hopes for this series, given how entertaining Simone’s previous work on Agent X and Deadpool were, and she’s exceeded expectations. 

| Published by Marvel

Exiles #3 is still following the whirlwind pace set by the first two issues as the team continues racing through the multiverse, gathering new and old allies, as they try to come up with a plan to stop the Time Eater. This, of course, allows Javier Rodríguez to really step up with his designs and layouts for the weird and crazy worlds the team is travelling to.

| Published by Marvel

The Highest House #4 is consistently some of the best art and storytelling in comics right now, with beautiful artwork from Peter Gross and Fabien Alquier, as the intrigue in Mike Carey’s script hits a fever pitch.

| Published by IDW

Hungry Ghosts #4 ends the series on a high note, with stories illustrated by Irene Koh and Francesco Francavilla. Like the previous issues, the stories from Anthony Bourdain and Joel Rose are likely to be familiar to you, especially the Snow Woman as variants of it have been told and retold multiple times, but they’re well told here. And with wonderful artwork, all deftly elevated by José Villarrubia’s colours.

| Published by Dark Horse

Hunt for Wolverine: Adamantium Agenda #1 is the second of these mini-series, this one following a handful of Logan’s New Avengers compatriots. That remit at least makes more sense than the Weapon Lost premise, and leads to a flashback of Wolverine selflessly taking one for the team and thus having Iron Man, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, and Spider-Man start chasing down a lead for a DNA sequence sale in the present. Tom Taylor’s story gets more interesting from there and I look forward to seeing where this goes. Also, some really nice artwork from RB Silva, Andriano di Benedetto, and Jesus Aburtov. If given the chance, I wouldn’t mind seeing this creative team do more New Avengers, or even Defenders, material once this is over.

| Published by Marvel

Isola #2 is probably the most beautiful thing you’re going to find on the shelves this week, which is saying something since there’s also an issue of Monstress. Karl Kerschl and Msassyk are just raising the bar higher and higher on how gorgeous the comics page can look in the span of two simple issues. Apart from being a visual treat, the story is also captivating. Kerschl and Brenden Fletcher have a fable here that taps into the same kind of magical realism, whimsy, and ephemeral beauty of a Hayao Miyazaki film and it’s incredibly engrossing.

| Published by Image

Medieval Spawn & Witchblade #1 is some decent dark fantasy. Brian Holguin, Brian Haberlin, and Geirrod Van Dyke set up a pretty bleak, undead tainted past to throw what appears to be a new Medieval Spawn into, as much of this issue works to flesh out the mystery of his past and the blight that currently besets the land. No sign of a Witchblade yet. Some nice dark and moody art from Haberlin and Van Dyke.

| Published by Image

New Mutants: Dead Souls #3 is a turning point for the story, giving us essentially a reason for why all of this weird stuff is going on and more particularly why at least some of these former members of different incarnations of the New Mutants are present. All while the team starts turning on itself as Matthew Rosenberg begins to deal with some of the continuity and history of the team members. It’s good. If you’re a long time reader of these characters, you should love this. If you’re not and you’re a newcomer with this series, it’s still fun, with some great Adam Gorham art.

| Published by Marvel

Oblivion Song #3 raises some interesting questions about the people who were transported over into Oblivion. How living through that nightmare for ten years could have changed them, possibly made them go feral, and how troublesome it might be to have them readjust to life in a safe and sane world. Obviously the answer would seem to be to bring them back anyway, but it’s still an interesting question.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Old Man Logan #39 actually has a pretty clever play on one of the X-Men’s most prestigious stories in the title as “Glob Loves, Man Kills”. That should give you an idea as to the content of this issue, but I won’t spoil the surprise if you’re unsure. That said, we get more development on Old Man Logan’s problems with his healing factor, and Glob has a date. Nice artwork from Ibraim Roberson and Carlos Lopez, and it’s welcome again, like his run on Cable, that Ed Brisson is playing with the wider world of X-characters.

| Published by Marvel

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #304 reminds you not to mess with the past, even if it’s ostensibly for a good reason. It never works out. Except in the art department. Adam Kubert gets to show off some nice redesigns for the heroes here and a really nice new version of a somewhat surprising villain.

| Published by Marvel

Port of Earth #5 returns us to Mac and Rice’s plight, with Rice not only dealing with the loss of his girlfriend, but finally figuring out what the alien was up to with his stolen badge. This is still a relatively slow moving series, with the issues fairly systematically broken down into an opening section that focuses on a documentary style analysis of the Port, the contract with the aliens, and the ESA and then the action following Mac and Rice, but it’s entertaining.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Punks Not Dead #4 is still somehow raising the bar on how inexplicably strange this series can get, even as it’s making more and more sense.

| Published by IDW / Black Crown

Resident Alien: An Alien in New York #2 unfurls the mystery further as Harry and Dan try to figure out who wrote an NYC phone number in alien script. Steve Parkhouse’s art, as usual, really draws you in.

| Published by Dark Horse

Rough Riders: Ride or Die #4 is a fitting conclusion to the adventures of Teddy Roosevelt and his band of luminaries, even if we may see a different incarnation somewhere down the line. Adam Glass and Patrick Olliffe created a worthwhile real life analogue to literary supergroups like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and the three series are worth picking up.

| Published by AfterShock

The Spider King #4 brings an end to this excellent mix of Viking action and weird science. It’s been a great story with amazing art, highly recommended.

| Published by IDW

Venom #1 is pretty damn good. The story from Donny Cates is compelling, building up a mystery for strange behaviour from the symbiote and expanding upon the Venom history, but stealing the spotlight is the art. Ryan Stegman was a good artist, with this issue he’s laying claim to being a great artist. With JP Mayer providing inks over Stegman’s pencils and Frank Martin delivering on the colour work, this is a damn fine looking comic. A great debut.

| Published by Marvel

World of Tanks: Citadel #1 is somewhere between Garth Ennis’ two usual war story extremes; the deeply serious realistic tales of historical war battles and incidents of series like War Stories and the over-the-top dark humour of Adventures in the Rifle Brigade. As such, it’s all right. Most of it is set up, allowing the tank drivers and gunners to get acquainted with their vehicles and crew. The art from PJ Holden and Michael Atiyeh is fairly nice.

| Published by Dark Horse

Other Highlights: Astonisher #7, Barbarella #6, Betrothed #3, Betty & Veronica: Vixens #6, Black Cloud #9, Calexit #3, Dejah Thoris #4, Dissonance #3, Ghostbusters: Answer the Call #5, Ghost Money #10, Green Hornet #3, Incredible Hulk #716, Jim Henson’s Fraggle Rock #1, Maestros #6, Monstress #16, Outcast #35, Planet of the Apes: Ursus #5, Prism Stalker #3, Pumpkinhead #3, ROM & The Micronauts #5, Rose #11, Runaways #9, Savage Tales: Vampirella, Sleepless #6, Southern Bastards #20, Spider-Man vs. Deadpool #32, Star Trek: The Next Generation - Through the Mirror #2, Star Wars: Darth Vader #16, Star Wars: The Last Jedi #1, Star Wars Adventures #10, Star Wars: Thrawn #4, Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #32, Xena: Warrior Princess #4, X-Men Blue #27, You Are Deadpool #2

Recommended Collections: Accell - Volume 2: Pop Quiz, Amazing Spider-Man: Venom Inc., Angelic - Volume 1: Heirs & Graces, Beasts of Burden: Animal Rights, Dark Fang - Volume 1: Earth Calling, Death of Wolverine - Complete Collection, Despicable Deadpool - Volume 2: Bucket List, Hawkeye - Volume 3: Family Reunion, The Shadow: Leviathan, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle - Volume 1, Sherlock Frankenstein and the Legion of Evil

d. emerson eddy cannot be disassembled and reassembled like a Mr. Potato Head. So, please, stop trying.

[diversegaminglists]

Games with on-screen kisses

Should be considered story spoilers (except for maybe dating sims), so browse at your own peril.

On-screen means a visible kiss on the lips, in-engine, cutscene or, in the case of visual novels, CG art. Games with descriptions of kisses in text only do not count.

This is far from complete but I think I’ve got most of the obvious ones, as always, suggestions and corrections encouraged (but no suggestions for games featuring unavoidable rape please).

I could really use more examples for the M/M only section as it’s currently mostly porn games in there (where all the smoochy games at?). :/

M/F:

Akatsuki No Goei (M/F)(Hentai game)(CG)(Translation patch)

Always Remember Me (Otome CG)

Alpha Protocol (Several kisses with optional romances as leads into fade-to-black sex scenes.)

Amagami (CG)(Translation patch)

Aquaria (Naija and Li)

Assassin’s Creed 3 (Kenway and Kaniehtí:io/Ziio, Myriam and Norris )

Assassin’s Creed 2 (Ezio and Cristina)

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood (Ezio and Caterina)

Assassin’s Creed: Unity

Batman: Arkham Knight (Batman and Catwoman)

Binary Domain (Dan and Faye)

Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars (George kisses Nicole while she is tied up and she gives him a rightful bollocking for taking advantage, but later forgives him.)

Brütal Legend (Eddie and Ophalia)

Catherine (Anime style cutscenes)

Contract Marriage (CG)

Dandelion (CG)

The Darkness (Jacky and Jenny)

Dead Rising 3 (Nick and Annie)

Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories (In the good ending Adell and Rozalin smooch, CG art)

Dra+Koi (M/F)(CG)(Hentai)(Translation patch)

ef - a fairy tale of the two (dating sim, cg art)

Enchanted in the Moonlight (CG)

Fahrenheit aka Indigo Prophecy (Two optional, one unskippable, two leading into terrible sex scenes, one of which involves QTE thrusting, because of course it does it’s David Cage.)

Final Fantasy VIII (Rinoa and Squall finally smooch in the ending cutscene)

Final Fantasy X (Story cutscene while flying around in a magical lake, very Japanese.)

Final Fantasy XIII (Snow and Sera)

Final Fantasy XV (Noctis and Luna)

GoldenEye (James Bond and Natalya)

Hakuōki Franchise (Otome game)(CG)

Heavy Rain (depends on what choices you pick but they’re all awkward and creepy in context anyway)

Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (In the middle of a fight Indiana smooches Sophia, how rude!)

Kaleidoscope Dating sim 1 & 2 (CG)

KatawaShoujo (Hentai game, CG art)

Kissed by the baddest bidder (CG)

LEGO Batman (Batman and Catwoman)

Lego Batman 3 (Poison Ivy)

Lord of the Rings: The Third Age (seemingly out of nowhere romance plots with very little build up or logic but does have awkward ps2 facesmushing)

Max Payne 2 (Max and Mona)

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Snake and Eva before a sexy time)

Metel Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (Meryl and Johnny)

Metro PD: Close to You (Otome, CG)

Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor (Press X to kiss your wife)

My Guardian Angel (CG)

My Sweet Proposal (CG)

Nameless: That One Thing You Must Recall (CG)

Nicole (CG)(I believe F/F content might be planned in the future)

Office Lover (CG)

Onimusha 2 (Oyu & Jubei)

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (Story cutscenes)

Princess Evangile (CG)(There are both All-Ages and uncensored versions of this game)

Psychonauts (Raz and Lili)

Resident Evil 2 (Leon and Ada)

Royal Midnight Kiss (CG)

Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love (CG)

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (at the end of some levels)

Shall We Date Franchise (CG)

Shira Oka: Second Chances (CG)

Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) (Infamous scene where a human princess has to smooch an unconscious Sonic)

Snow Sakura (CG)(Hentai game)

Spiderman: The Movie (Spiderman and MJ)

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Starkiller’s pilot Juno plants one on him)

Storm Lover (Otome)(CG)

Sunrider Academy (CG) (Hentai game)

Sweet Scandal (CG)

Telltale’s Batman (Bruce and Selina)

To Heart 1 & 2 (CG)(All ages and uncensored versions)

Tokimeki Memorial Girl’s Side Franchise (Otome)(CG)(Translation patch)

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (Nate and Chloe smooch fairly early on. Nate and Elena finally smooch on screen at the end.)

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End (Elena and Nate again)

Until Dawn (Optional between Chris and Ashley)

Valkyria Chronicles (Welkin and Alicia)

Valkyria Chronicles III (Kurt and one of two possible girls)

War: 13th Day

Wing Commander: The Kilrathi Saga

The Witcher Franchise (usually before a sexytime)

Wolfenstein: The New Order (Anya and BJ)

Yo-Jin-Bo (Otome game, CG art)

F/F:

Flowers -Le volume sur printemps-

Her Tears Were My Light

Highway Blossoms (Both all ages and uncensored versions available)

Kindred Spirits on the Roof (CG art)

The Last of Us: Left Behind (T_T)

A Little Lily Princess

Love is Strange (Life is Strange fanfic)

Nurse Love Addiction

Slumberparty

Starlight Vega (warning for one step-sister romance route)

why is this dragon so fucking cute?

M/M:

Animamundi: Dark Alchemist (CG)(Adult game)

Bacchikoi! (CG)(Adult game)

Coming Out on Top (CG)(Adult game)

Hetalia Sim Date (CG)

Lamento – BEYOND THE VOID – (CG)(Adult game)(Catboys)

No, Thank You!!! (CG)(Adult game)

Silver Chaos (CG)(Adult game)(Translation patch)

Sleepover (CG)(Adult game)             

Combinations:

Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate (Roth and Jacob, Evie and Henry)

Backstage Pass (CG)

Bully (M/F and M/M kisses)

Dragon Age: Origins (repeatable smooches wherever)

Dragon Age 2 (Only in romance cutscenes)

Dragon Age 3 (combination of the two, but repeatable kisses only in Skyhold)

Fable Franchise (social actions)

Fire Emblem Fates occasionally gives your player character first person kissing scenes with your chosen S-rank partner.

Heilleen (CG art F/M and F/F)

Hustle Cat (Main character is NB by default)

Injustice 2 (Poison Ivy has a kiss attack)

Jade Empire (Though please note that the same-sex kisses need a mod to display properly without fading to black, see the mod section below.)

Life is Strange (There are options for Max to kiss Chloe and Warren depending on their relationship values.)

LongStory (CG)

Loren: The Amazon Princess (CG)

Lovestruck (This is Voltages’s newer app for games like Astoria and Castaways) (F/F F/M F/NB) (CG)

Magical Diary: Horse Hall (F/M & F/F CG)

Mass Effect (Cutscenes)

Saints Row IV  (Parody of romance cutscenes ranging from romantic kisses, to rough BDSM, to implied robot oral)

The Sims Franchise (So many different ways to smooch!)

Singles: Flirt Up Your Life (This is a game about boinking your room mate, but there’s also smooches and 1 M/M and 1 F/F option each)

Shoujo City 2D (F/M F/F)

Spelunky (Rescuing “damsels” will get you a kiss and an extra hitpoint at the end of the level, you can choose from a lady, a dude, a pug dog, or a combination of all three in the game options.)

Stardew Valley (You can smooch your partner)

Starwars: The Old Republic (Many M/F love interests in the main game. The expansions added some M/M and F/F)

Telltale’s Tales From the Borderlands (Several M/F and one F/F depending on paths chosen)

Mods:

Jade Empire Gay Romance Fix

Kissing - Immersive Lover's Comfort (Smooching mod for Skyrim, no other mods required.)

Icha Love (Alternative Kissing Mod for Skyrim, page is in Russian, requires FNIS, SKSE, and SKY UI mods)

Kiss Em All (Yet another Skyrim kissing mod, requires SKSE)

Kiss Em All SE (Port of Kiss Em All for Skyrim SE, also available for XBox1)

Bastila Romance Enhancement (Adds a visible kiss between Bastila and PC to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)

Carth Romance Fix (Adds a visible kiss between Carth and PC to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)

Juhani Romance Enhancement (Adds a visible kiss between Juhani and PC to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)

Kiss (Adds kissing to Fallous: New Vegas, hosted on an adult site, which needs an account to access downloads.)

Caricature animation (Adds kissing to Oblivion, requires OBSE20)

Special Mentions:

Exstetra is a JRPG where kissing everyone is a key game mechanic, but it’s only been released in Japan and unlikely to be localised into English.

KissMe - Adds Kisses to Minecraft but I don’t know if it’s text only or animations.

LovePlus - First person M/F kissing, only available via translation patch.

nummyz dating sims - Needs more research

Paranormal Kiss - Not in English yet.

Sim Girls Franchise - Needs more research

[itsclydebitches]

I love that you mentioned Finn because HE kills an assload of his fellow Stormtroopers (people he especially should might be just like him) and that’s just his escape. The destruction of Star Killer base is presented just as good as the Death Star was all those years back. Finn was the black sheep, he’s the only stormtrooper that’s good meaning it’s still justified for him and Luke to kill all of them.

That’s a good point. Yeah, to clarify - just like the discussion of how good or bad it is to blow up the Death Star - I think humanizing Finn does more to complicate the fandom’s interpretations of the heroes’ actions, rather than complicating the text itself. Because as said, Star Wars (the films anyway) seem to keep things relatively simple. These are the good guys. These are the bad guys. There’s now this one (1) bad guy who is actually a good guy and we’re going to emphasize his unique, probably never going to be repeated humanity by 1. Having him remove his helmet (oh hey that’s an individual person under there), 2. Giving him a name (more individuality bestowed by a certified hero!) and 3. Making him force sensitive. The audience can infer things based on his situation and what he says - “Like all of them, I was taken from a family I will never know and raised to do one thing” well damn should we be feeling for all stormtroopers now?? - but establishes him as capital-d Different by having him make the choice to defect and not following up on how that occurred. What allowed him to make that choice? Why isn’t he affected by the presumed mind control stuff at work? Why does he have an emotional response to this cruelty when hundreds of thousands of others don’t? Is it the force? Do we care? For the most part the story answers that question with “No.” It’s not important how or why Finn is different, just that he is. Fandom, however, tends to answer with “Yes” and extrapolates implications. If Finn is different... it’s no longer inconceivable that other stormtroopers are too. So then what do we do with a group of potential heroes/victims rather than simplistically evil grunts? Cue debates about killing them, etc. etc. 

So yeah, definitely still justified within the story. Which makes for a good tale because (in this case anyway...) Star Wars knows what it wants to accomplish and runs with it. We’re telling that good guy vs. bad guy story with a defection that’s presented as unique, not the story of how the Resistance’s perception of their enemy is changed via Finn’s actions. That’s work fans can choose to do individually outside of the canon. Canon stormtroopers - with Finn as the new exception - remain the bad guy grunts that make for excellent memes

[ruffoverthinksthings]

What do you think the Aks favorite book genres are?

I do believe I touched on this before with the VKs, but can’t find it at the moment, so I’ll just focus on answering this with the AKs:

Ben

Horror and Crime Thrillers

With the absence of any true nightmares, “Evil” beings, andeven petty criminal behaviour in Auradon, plus the creation of theIsle of the Lost where all the “Evil” people were put on, youngBen was obviously curious about the nature of “Evil.”

What makes someone “Evil?” Does it really merit such anextreme measure as the Isle? When does an action go from beingquestionable to a crime?

These are all things that could be explained to him by no shortageof legal experts, authorities from the various realms the statesoriginally came in, and the odd religious leader, but between all thetechnicality and the thought experiments, Ben needs something thatengages the other side of his brain, something that truly grips himand shows him the depths of Evil as someone who is victimized by it,or as someone who perpetrates it.

And really, it’s very different to read about the legal,real cases of Jack the Ripper vs being in the shoes of one of theirvictims unaware that this will be the last shortcut they ever take.

“I can know it through police reports, but I can’treally feel it like I do with fiction.”

Audrey

“JaneEyre,” “Gone With The Wind,” and “Twilight” style novels

Audreyis a sucker for classic “Princess” style tales, seeing as that’sexactly what she’s (planning to) live out once she graduatesAuradon, but she is also a product of the Feminism wave thatswept through all of Auradon, and her tastes adjust accordingly.

Shereally enjoys herself some female protagonists that are forced tochallenge and break away from the stereotypes and the societalconstraints that have been thrust upon them, but she also won’t sayno to the plot of a female protagonist being saved by and falling inlove with a handsome male suitor.

Thetroublesome elements and the ill-advised reality of a “rescueromance” where she tries to “fix” a broken man who “lovesher” don’t really bother her or even register to her, as she isalso a product of Auradon’s “love trumps all” belief.

Chad

“HardBoiled” Detective Thrillers, Action Thrillers, Conspiracy Thrillers

Chadwas raised by actual heroes and daring knights, people caught in theworst circumstances possible, only to rise up from them and emergebetter than ever, frequently to the adoration of the people aroundthem and a permanent place in the history books.

WithAuradon being entirely peaceful—well, in the spheres he runs aroundin, anyway—he can’t really find any opportunity for a war or adaring adventure to “earn” the glory he thinks he is destinedfor, nor do anything particularly impressive aside from being one ofthe top Tourney players in the School Leagues alongside Ben.

(Inthe part of his mind that has a strong sense of ethics, but is sadlyignored most days, he is also bothered by the fact that he NEEDS torely on other people doing his homework to actually stay onthe team, whereas someone like Ben can tear up the field andace the tests, no problem.

Thisis a huge part of why he is the way he is, by the way–”AlwaysSomeone Better” Syndrome.)

Anyway,it would make sense that he would enjoy reading about (usually, butnot always) male protagonists dealing with circumstances beyond theircontrol, finding themselves waltzing through a door and findingthemselves in a murderous Wonderland, being stopped, obstructed, andalmost murdered at every turn only to succeed at the end, scarred butvictorious.

Thoughwhen he puts the book or the tablet down, and its back to hiscomfortable, luxurious, easy life, there’s a part of him thatwonders if he will ever find something so meaningful as theadventures of his favourite hard-boiled detectives…

Doug

“PopCulture” Science

Whatwould you need to do if you wanted to build the Great Wall of Chinastraight up?

Ifyou could lift the Formerly Lost City of Atlantis using ping-pongballs, how many would you need?

Ifyou took all the chocolate Arendelle consumes in a year, and made itinto a giant chocolate bar, how big would it be and how would you goabout making it?

Theseare the questions that ignited young Doug’s curiosity about theworld around him, beyond that of the mine and the woodland cottagewhere his uncles and his father works, and Aunt Snow White comes byevery once in a while to bake their perennial favourite, AppleDumplings.

“Hard”Science books about physics, chemistry, and architecture do catch hisinterest eventually, but in the beginning, when he needs a break fromserious problems about real world matters, or is stuck with a problemthat just doesn’t have an obvious solution, he goes to the realm ofwhimsy and wonder with a dash of science.

Sometimes,the unusual questions, odd uses of scientific principles, andhypothetical situations are just what he needs to make his real lifeprojects come to life.

Failingthat, they’re always good fun.

Jane

“HeroesJourney” books like “Harry Potter,” “Star Wars,” and“Fangirl” (Rainbow Rowell)

Asone who’s supposed to be a Future Fairy Godmother, Jane wouldnaturally be very interested in the lives of the types of peopleshe’s supposed to help. The downtrodden, the innocent, those thattried and thought they couldn’t—fictional or real, she lovesreading about how external and/or internal crises knocks on theirdoor, and they find a way to overcome it, oftentimes with the help offriends and magical beings.

Italso comforts her to read about people just like her, outcasts,“weirdos,” and those that just don’t fit in and never willfinding their place in the world, not by changing themselves butchanging the world around them.

Shefigures she will NEVER be like any of them, and her problems willstill exist after the story ends, but hey, that’s why it’s called“escapism.”

Lonnie

Non-Fiction,largely on Revolutions, Societal Movements, and Eccentric Inventorsand Ostracized Geniuses

Eversince Lonnie first heard Hip-Hop and watched a dance-off, she hasbeen obsessed with the culture and how it started in Harlem and theBronx.

Naturally,you can’t study this without getting into the Civil Rights movementand the oppression of African American populations, and you can’tstudy this without getting into the slavery era, and you can’tstudy this without reading about the people who rose up against whatwas considered the norm, fighting for what they believed to be abetter world…

Revolutions,Massive Society Changes, the Geniuses of the World who were thoughtcrazy then and are being revered now—they’re all of massiveinterest to Lonnie, someone who’s never truly fit in, and stillfaces numerous societal pressures to conform with what the worldstill expects, and sometimes demands her to be.

Forclarity, I only use this example to differentiate her from the restof the AKs—she loves fictional outcasts and oppressed minoritiesrising victorious as much as real ones.

Allie

Non-Fictionabout BGU and AGU Cultures and Society, and Sci-Fi and Fantasy

Wonderlandis a weird and wacky place that we can’t even begin to understand,and even its residents admit to not being able to make sense ofit—well, at least in ways that fit into the majority’s idea of“sense.”

Theland down the rabbit hole or through the looking glass has been oneof the biggest sources of fascination (and early retirement) for manyof Auradon’s scientists, scholars, and philosophers, but sinceAllie has lived there all her life or spent every weekend having teawith the Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit, “things being topsy-turvyand hurly-whirly” is completely normal to her.

Instead,her interest radiates to places she’s never been, and will neverpersonally experience herself: BGU and AGU (Before/AfterGreat Uniting) societies and cultures, and of coursethe fantastic worlds that fiction invents.

Donote that she is VERY strict about her world-building and thateverything in your series should subscribe to the logic the worldruns on, or you provide suitable, realistic justification.

“Comenow, I may have come from a world where the Sky talks quantum physicswith the Heron, but even I can only suspend my disbelief for solong!”

Jordan

Superheroes

Peopleand beings born with fantastic powers, or suddenly getting themwhether or not they wanted it.

Oftentimesostracized or feared by society just for being them, with thepotential harm they can cause.

Frequentlyportrayed rising against their own inner demons and outer forces,showing to the world that they do belong, that they were wrong tohave shunned and feared them so, and who oftentimes become idols anddearly beloved members of the society after they prove themselves.

Jordan(sincerely hopes) isn’t about to be pushed into any sort ofworld-threatening danger where she’ll have to explore and push thelimits of her magical powers, and more importantly get over her ownpersonal hang-ups and character flaws for her and others’ sake, butthat doesn’t stop her from enjoying the stories of people who do.

[himitsusentaiblog]

(Going forward with the understanding that miniseries like Kamen Rider 4 and Gorider count as movies) What are your favorite Kamen Rider movies? Can be a top ten, top five or general format.

As I am still riding the high from finishing Kamen Sentai Gorider (OMG SO GOOD SO GOOD) I won’t include it because that’s like asking someone what their favorite Star Wars movie is right after they get out of the newest one (for the record it’s still Empire Strikes Back for me though Rogue One is now second). I wonder how much better Gorider will be once I’ve seen the movie it ties into.  I’ve been waiting for a proper Super Hero Taisen that wasn’t just a Kamen Rider movie with a glorified Super Sentai cameo since Super Hero Taisen Z.

Anyway, as to my favorite Kamen Rider movies, I am going to include both Heisei and Showa movies here and that weird in-between period that still gets lumped in with Showa because Shotaro Ishinomori was still alive for them. Let’s get started, shall we?

5. Kamen Rider 555: Paradise Lost

This is a weird one for me.  I was not a fan of the strange, out of continuity early Heisei Kamen Rider movies.  I felt they went places they shouldn’t or were utterly irrelevant to the TV series that spawned them.  However, I still loved this movie when I first saw it and watch it again every now and then.  This film is basically a worst case scenario for the TV show, where the Orphenochs have conquered the world and humanity is dying off and clustered together in tiny enclaves.  Kamen Rider Faiz has been missing for years and it falls to the dickish Kamen Rider Kaixa to protect the remaining humans. I just really liked the designs for the two new, movie only Riders (Psyga and Orga) and the action was really well done.

4. Kamen Rider Hibiki and the Seven War Oni

Yes, this movie was made post studio meddling that pretty much doomed a promising, if slow, series to a mediocre and unsatisfying conclusion.  However, it’s basically a tokusatsu version of the Seven Samurai!  It’s even set in the Edo period and features 7 different Riders (Oni) banding together to defend a small village against a monstrous force no one person could defeat alone. It also features the amazingly designed Kamen Rider Kabuki.  That alone score it major points in my book!

3. Let’s Go Kamen Riders!

This was the 40th Anniversary movie and one of the crossover films ostensibly between the then current Kamen Rider OOOs and the few seasons past but still popular Kamen Rider Den-O.  It was also the first time they used the now cliched plot of Shocker taking over the world thanks to time manipulation.  It’s also the best time that plotline was ever used in my opinion.  It’s a fun story though and ends with a huge gathering of every Rider up to that point fighting to restore history to its proper course through the power of kicking and punching evil monsters.  It’s a celebration of everything Kamen Rider and for that, I can’t help but love it to death.

2. Kamen Rider vs. Shocker 

This is the very first original Kamen Rider movie (the film before this Go Go Kamen Rider was a movie expansion of episode 13).  This was the first movie of the original series I ever saw, long before I got my hands on the entire first series. It got me so interested in the old Kamen Rider shows made before I was born and before Super Sentai was even a thing.  It was also my introduction to the amazingly evil Dr. Shinigami, one of my all-time favorite Kamen Rider villains.  Here is the trailer:

1. Kamen Rider ZO

This was the first piece of Kamen Rider media I ever got to see in Japanese with English subtitles.  I watched it because I was already a fan of its director, Keita Amemiya thanks to his Zeiram films. What ZO did was quite frankly blow my mind. The suit designs were spectacular, the action tense and brutal and the effects work imaginative and engrossing.  The high point for me has always been the fight with the Spider Kaijin, the use of stop motion animation and just the completely alien design of the spider-thing sticks with me to this day.

This movie turned me from a pretty straight up Super Sentai fan into a broader fan of tokusatsu and tossed me head first into the awesome world of Kamen Rider. It remains my favorite movie in the franchise and not just for nostalgia reasons.  It’s a great first film to show people as it is a one and done tale that combines all of the hallmarks of the franchise in a unique and engaging way.