#anyways saying/writing things weird on purpose helps in a weird way?? everyone else with this problem should also try it
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You often leave tags worrying about your English spelling and typos, which is ridiculous because you have better English grammar and correct spelling more than most first language English speakers
ahdjdk i know but ty, i appreciate hearing it!
#ask#anonymous#to be real for a sec i know my level is pretty good but for a long time being good at learning languages was the only thing i was good at#so since there are a lot of words i dont know the meaning of or cant use and other ppl who dont speak english as their native language do#i feel like im not allowed to not know those things bc whats my excuse. would i know what those words meant in my native language if i was#given the translation? definitely not!#and i know i make an equal amount of weird grammatical errors and typos in both english and finnish#but i feel like i will b judged harshly for making those mistakes in a 2nd language and people will look at me and think damn#at least im better than him lol cant believe he actually writes like that yikes#which isnt true but idk i just feel like it's socially more acceptable to make mistakes in your native language than a language that youve#been learning since you were a child. its ridicilous to strive for perfection especially bc im not a writer or getting a degree in english#or anything like that#idk man#and the stress i have about speaking in a perfect manner has made it so that idk how to pronounce a lot of words and sometimes#find it hard to get even a single word out bc i know im going to sound dumb bc i have a strong accent and forget words#but not only that its bc i have nearly no practice in actually speaking english bc im terrified of it bc i have no practiced bc im terrifi#you get the point#anyways saying/writing things weird on purpose helps in a weird way?? everyone else with this problem should also try it#but yea idk something about being judged in a complete different way as soon as someone finds out english isn't your native language#like i know i got all a's in english all thorough school and stuff but agh idk#i hold myself to higher standards than i hold native speakers lmaoo#im trying to learn out of it tho#ive literally done some translation jobs and notice nuances some non native speakers miss bc some things you just have to feel no matter ho#w good your knowledge is#yet im still here like sigh if someone knows one more thing than i do its over for me#which is not good lmaoooo#leevi talks
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yeonjun w/ an inexperienced s.o
a/n: yooo the legendary yeonjun pic :P, anyways i decided to just follow the oldest member pattern I hope that’s ok anonnie :>
requested: yes!! thank uuu
tw/genre: cursing, fluff, campus au ig(?), fboi yeonjun kinda not really, insecurities so like minimal angst I suppose, tell me if I missed anything :]
•-•-•-•-•-•
-ok so yeonjun. practically everyone has had a crush on him at least two times in their life
-you’ve heard of his charms and smooth-talking and thanked god every day he’s never talked to you because PHEW you had no idea how to respond to that holy moly
-ok once again we are at a party and yeonjun sees you and thinks ur super duper pretty and he’s like “omg isn’t that the person who made someone cry because they responded to ‘i love you’ w thanks?”
-and that only happened because you didn’t know to respond with “i love you too” or “aww thanks” so whateves but you’re pretty notorious for being clumsy with relationships and avoiding getting into them
-so he walks up to you and is like “hey” w rizz and he finds your awkwardness both endearing and refreshing
-the crowd he hangs around with are familiar with sucking up to people or being charming, being automatically magnetic, and in the nicest way possible you weren’t really like that
-but you two become friends and date congrats
-he thinks you’re the cutest ever like genuinely
-maybe it’s the virgo in him but he likes teaching you things or at least helping you through them
-like your first proper kiss or make out or whatever, he walks you through it without making it awkward or patronizing and you appreciate that
-he’s very open about your relationship, he wants you to know he doesn’t care if anyone has nasty opinions on the two of you, he’s proud to show you off
-lowk tho i do feel like he gets insecure if you don’t express your love or affection for him but he also understands so he’s super conflicted and aghhh
-but then ur friend is like “what about gift giving or expressing love in your own way?” and ur like “omg ur so right?”
-and so everyday you write sticky notes or little letters reminding him of all the reasons why you love him, or you do tiny acts and you explain “until I get more comfortable I want to show you I love you in my own way” and he cries
-like he actually cries it was kinda awkward but sweet at the same time, he really appreciates you making an effort for him
-so after that he really cherishes ur little expressions of love :) and then gets pissed if anyone says u don’t treat him right
-because nuh uh yes u do, in ur own way
-likes to fluster you on purpose though, thinks you look cutest when you’re flustered and confused
-he won’t make fun of you but he’ll tease you for sure (if ur ok with it), but he always somehow compliments you too??
-“how can someone as gorgeous as you be so inexperienced with relationships?” and ur not sure whether you feel called out or flattered
-takes you on lots and lots of dates so you can experience what it’s like having a nice boyfriend who’s good to you! he’ll make sure this relationship will be the standard and more for any future partners u have.
-(not like you’ll have anyone else you’re too in love w him)
-never misses a beat with you, because he’s so good at conversation and being a flirt it doesn’t matter if you can’t reciprocate cuz he’ll just carry the convo lol
-“uhhh thanks for the flowers yeonjun :]” i love u too.” “yo whaaaat” and he just winks and kisses ur cheek
-what a weird couple, anyways
-he likes to push you a little bit, not really for your relationship but because it’s amusing
-like if you want physical affection but feel too shy to ask for it he’ll play dumb until you get all pouty and sulky
-“please give me a kiss oh my god jun” “shshsh I’m sorry I was joking!!”
-one time at a party this girl was hardcore flirting with yeonjun and talking about how she LOVESSS pda and how she’s SOOO EXPERIENCED and how she knows how to treat a man and she’s doing this all in front of you, rlly testing your patience
-yeonjun just rolls his eyes and squeezes your hand that’s loosely being held in his, but before he knows it you dragged him by the collar to give him a kiss
-if love isn’t ur fuel for confidence, jealousy and spite sure is
-“good thing I have a partner who treats me perfectly,” yeonjun says after you do your little smooch n she’s so pissed ur giggling
-yeonjun always is like “You don’t have to,” or “take your time,” and “only if you want to, ok?”
-so you don’t have to worry about meeting his expectations, the only way to disappoint is if you don’t feel comfortable enough setting boundaries and then he’s disappointed in the both of you
-makes u feel like the safest ever but also so flustered and giddy
-ok bye I’m devastated why r u so cute in these
#txt fluff#txt drabbles#txt reactions#txt imagines#txt scenarios#txt x reader#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun fluff#txt headcanons
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Formal dinner
This is just the first draft of a weird idea that popped in my head...
I started re-watching gray's anatomy and I think that's mostly to blame... Especially this scene. I also needed an excuse to practice writing from Simons POV so here you go.
Summary: Simon x OC 2k words. Formal military dinner gone wrong..? CW: alcohol, serious asthma attack, mentions of medication, medical emergency, medical inaccuracies. First draft, honestly I just love writing medical stuff.
Masterlist
Enjoy <3
“Well well, look at you all smart in officer formals.” I heard Rosaly’s voice behind me. I turn to see her wearing a long blue dress that seemed to be pulling in all the right places.
“Very nice.” I say she spins around I see how low cut the back is as she adjusts the clasp on her clutch. Her hair was done up too curled and I couldn’t ignore the light layer of makeup on her face making her lips look shiny, hiding the heavy bags under her eyes. I find myself smiling, I want to reach out and touch her. She looks up at me taking a step closer quickly looking around then leaning into me.
“I do have a thing for men in formals.” She purrs in my ear. I let out a breath as she giggles moving back. I can see the cheeky grin on her face. It’s almost too much, I want to pull her back up to my room and skip the festivities, I didn’t want to be here and I know she didn’t either. Price had to practically order her to come. ‘Set a good example as we should 141 is an important unit, there will be a lot of important people there.’ People started passing us through the main doors leading in the hall where the event was taking place, the hotel was grand, just like the last dinner event Price dragged me too. This is where he networks gets to gush about 141 to everyone sometimes picks up a medal at the end, what he’s really for though are the jobs he can get for us.
“Rosie?” I hear someone say, she turns around to see someone coming towards her.
“Mike, hey.” She says, I remember him he was the trauma surgeon at Gibraltar. He introduces the woman looped on his arm as his girlfriend and makes small talk with her. I look around for Price and Gaz they should be here by now I look down at my watch it’s almost 7. I look back up seeing Mike say his goodbyes going through into the room, Rosaly follows after them and for a second I look confused until she comes back out with two champagne flutes.
“You’re going to need this.” She says handing me one and sipping the other. I already felt exposed, such a formal event meant I couldn’t get away with my normal get up, when Price broached the subject about the mask he knew I wasn’t going to like it. ‘It’s all friendlies, they won’t even remember by the end of the night everyone will be pissed anyway.’ I didn’t want to take the chance, the whole point is anonymity, besides being in a room with potentially 100’s of people, no thank you I would much rather be Ghost not Simon, we settled on a black face mask covering my nose and mouth.
“Williams you clean up nicely.” I hear Price coming down the corridor with Gaz at his side.
“Looking sexy Gaz.” Rosaly says finishing her drink, he laughs.
“Could say the same about you too.” Gaz walks up to us hugging Rosaly. Price adjusts his beret. I subconsciously touch mine, it’s been a while since I have had to wear it, I wouldn't be surprised if it was lopsided already, I nod at him his is fine, he smiles nodding back at me. Only officers are required to wear formals since they’re the ones getting all the awards, everyone else gets to dress fancy, I cant help but wonder if Rosaly chose a blue dress on purpose or not. I hand my glass to her as she takes it out my hands.
“You’re drinking all ready?” Gaz laughs taking the full glass out her hands.
“I can’t help it I’m just so excited to listen to 2 hours of speeches form the same 3 people.” I smile at her sarcasm. Price shakes his head and leads us in the room. The table plan has already been set out and we find our way to our table and sit down. Rosaly waves a server over ordering drinks, as the speakers make their way to the stage.
The first speaker goes through the usual spiel of welcoming everyone and guests then going through the running order for the night. I look round the room as the waiter comes back with a try of drinks, there are a lot of people every table is full, sometimes I catch eyes wondering on us then quickly looking away. Everyone starts clapping and I join in watching a video start to play on the projector. With the lights off I sip my drink, letting it burn my throat and warm my belly. I look over at Price and Gaz watching the video, Rosaly is a little in front of me to my right she’s tapping her fingers on the table. I want to reach out and grab her hand, not here though. I wonder if Price is up for any awards I forgot to ask him. The rest of the speeches drone on, a few people get awards for bravery and what not. Some people get promotions, nothing higher then captain though, they would be done in a separate special ceremony. I recognise some of the people from years past, some I think I recognise but I’m not sure. Price is always introducing me to so many people I forget who I’ve met and who I haven’t. When the last speeches are done there is an interval break. Rosaly excuses herself to the bathroom and I turn to Gaz as he taps me on the shoulder.
“Is Price up for any awards?” Gaz asks me quietly.
“I don’t know I forgot to ask.” I admit finishing my drink. Price stands up to greet someone turning to introduce us.
“Where is Williams?” He asks as we stand up to shake his hand.
“Bathroom.” I say.
“Your new medic right?” The man asks Price who nods.
“I heard she’s a handful.” He chuckles we all join in, but I give Price a look. ‘What the hell does that mean?’ He shakes Price’s hand and walks away again, after a few more minutes and a few more people coming to say hi to Gaz and Price, Rosaly comes back with a tray of drinks. I shake my head at her taking mine off the tray.
“You should slow down Williams,” Price says.
“It’s an open bar, besides what are supposed to do other then get royally shit faced, there is a reason you marked tomorrow as recovery on the calendar.” Price shakes his head smiling but takes the drink. Rosaly places the empty glasses on the tray and a waiter comes and takes it. She turns to my sipping her drink.
“Did I miss anything?” She asks.
“Meeting Price’s friends.” Gaz said, she smiled her eyes finding their way to me. I held her gaze, she did look so pretty in that strapped dress they way it brings out the colour in her eyes, her cheeks are rosy, she looks flushed, relaxed enjoying herself. She plays with her necklace, I don’t think I even recognised it until now. It’s beautiful though, silver and diamonds but simple.
“Excuse me!” I hear the squeaking of the mic and look back at the stage. I see a man nervously rubbing his hands. “I know this is a bit of a strange request but are there any doctors here?” I look down at Rosaly who has shrunk down in her chair sipping on her drink. There is murmuring round the hall. Rosaly is almost hiding under the table now her eyes flicking over to Gaz and Price.
“We’ve got a medic over here!” Price calls. I see her close her eyes sighing and straighten up.
“Price I’m drunk.” She protests.
“Everyone is drunk Williams.” Before I know it there is a group of people making their way towards us. We all get up as the crowd parts showing a woman gripping her chest, she is clearly struggling to breath her face bright red. The scene makes Rosaly instantly change, she’s not drunk anymore, she puts the glass down on the table leading the woman to a chair.
“She has asthma we’ve tried an inhaler it’s not working.” Someone says. Handing the blue inhaler to Rosaly who shakes it.
“Have you called an ambulance?” She asks, the woman immediately starts to panic frantically shaking her head.
“She keeps refusing.” The same person says. “I didn’t want to make her panic.” Rosaly turns to us she throws me her clutch bag.
“Price call an ambulance, LT my trauma bag is in my room, go now!” She snaps. I don’t wait pushing through the crowd, I break into a sprint when I get out the main hall, her room is on the second floor I fumble through her bag looking for the keycard. I press it into the door rushing in. I see her bags at the foot of her bed grabbing the cammo backpack with the cross on the back. Why does she even have this with her? I don’t have time to question it as I run back out the room flying down the stairs. When I make it back to the main hall the crowd has gotten bigger. I push my way through I see Mike here now stroking the woman's back she looks worse Rosaly is trying to tell her to breath as I drop the bag at her feet. She lets go of the woman's arm throwing the bag open taking out a syringe of something securing a needle on it.
“Ambulance ETA?” She asks.
“15.” Price calls back. I watch as she rubs the woman's side with something.
“Sharp scratch.” She says injecting it in. “8:12.” She says starting the timer on her watch.
“Keep taking those deep breaths.” Mike says rubbing her back. I watch as Rosaly carefully recaps the needle, then turning her attention back to the woman. She attaches something to her finger, after a few seconds it starts beeping rapidly. The woman seems to be calming down Rosaly rubs her legs looking at her face. She takes a big breath in and I see her relax dropping her hand from her chest, she looks like she’s going to cry. Rosaly stands up stopping her timer.
“Thank you,” The woman says between breaths. Rosaly rubs her arm bending over her to see her.
“You’re okay don’t try and talk, keep taking those deep breaths.” She nods.
“I feel weird.” She says grabbing her chest again.
“You will for a bit it’s the adrenaline.” Rosaly explains, I hear movement behind me and see the crowd separate to the the paramedics through. Rosaly explains the situation, and convinces the woman to go with them at least to get some oxygen through her lungs. Mike goes to stand next to Rosaly as the woman is led away. The crowd starts to disperse.
“I can’t believe you wanted to trach her,” she laughs playfully nudging him.
“What would you have done if the adrenaline didn't work?” He asks.
“I would have pushed another adrenaline,” She explains.
“And then?” He asked crossing his arms.
“Then intubation.” She mirrors his body language.
"With 2 adrenaline's in her system?”
“Oh I’m sorry in which universe is an awake tracheostomy better then intubation?” She tilts her head waiting for a response.
“Won’t make a difference if she’s not breathing.” He says back. I can tell this is riling them both up, the mix of adrenaline and alcohol is not helping, look over at Price.
“This is the problem with you Mike all you want to do is cut, you’re a surgeon first.” She bends down picking her bag up.
“Okay calm down you two,” Price intervenes before Mike can reply. “She’s alive and she’s okay, lets enjoy the rest of the night.” Rosaly sighs and heads back to the table throwing her bag underneath the table picking up her drink. I see her hand shake as she sips it. She’ll never admit it but she loves this, the high of an unexpected medical emergency. That’s why she has the bag with her, for moments like this. She turns to look at me, I see the shine in her eyes, the fire in her belly, she smiles at me. I smile back I know she can tell her hand reaches out and squeezes mine. God I can’t wait to rip that dress off her later.
I cannot wait to start med school
#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#cod#call of duty#ao3#simon ghost riley#john price#kyle gaz garrick#141#task force 141#tf 141#cod 141#medicine#simon riley x oc#ghost x oc#ghost cod#captain john price#john price cod#medical emergency
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Hmm… I wonder how Todd would react to finding out his plus-sized lover is a mutant and what said lover’s ability would be?
Todd Tolansky Headcanons: Finding out his S/O is a mutant.
First of all, this is my first request and I'm so excited! Please, feel free to ask me for anything you'd like to see! I love writing about Todd. And I hope I can fulfill your request!! So, here is my interpretation of Todd Tolansky finding out his S/O is a mutant!
General Headcanons:
• Just to start off, for the purpose of the story, I'm going to say that the reader has a power related to plants, or something like that. Because honestly, I'm sick of fat people having super powers that just have to do with their weight. I love you Fatgum, but I'm kind of sick of that trope. Sorry, weird rant. Anyways.
• Todd was already extremely over protective. But now that he knows you're a mutant, and that you could be targeted for harassment because of that, he's even more protective of you. Threatening anyone who even looks at you wrong.
• "What are you lookin' at, punk!? Yeah, look away, that's what I thought!"
• "Todd, he didn't even look in my direction"
• He's been bullied so much for his mutation and he would never want you to go through that.
• Anyways, it's from a place of love.
• When you fight back and stand up for yourself, he's extremely impressed and proud.
If you're a member of the X-MEN:
• Although he hates the X-Men, he's willing to make an expectation for you, of course!
• Though he will tease you a bit about being a "goody-two-shoes"
• Also hates the uniforms (because they're ugly) but when you put it on, he's star struck. He thinks your curves look amazing in the suit.
• Definitely checks you out during fights with the X-Men, much to everyone's annoyance.
• There's probably a lot of flirting going on whenever the X-Men are fighting the Brotherhood. He would obviously never lay a hand on you, so everyone else fights while you two enjoy each other's company.
• I can just imagine Pietro yelling at him and Todd completely ignoring everyone else but you. I mean, who wouldn't be distracted by someone as stunning as you?
• He's the type of guy who would throw pebbles at your window so that you notice him.
• Speaking of which, he's always sneaking into the X-Mansion to spend time with you. (Not in a sexual way, ofc). So far, he's hasn't been caught.
• Expect for once, when you were caught wearing his hoodie in the morning. That raised some suspicions.
• For people who can't wear their boyfriends hoodies because you're plus sized (trust me, I get it), Todd would secretly buy sweaters in bigger sizes just to give them to you.
If you're a member of the BROTHERHOOD:
• You have your own room, but you might as well live with Todd.
• He helps you make your own suit and tells you that you look absolutely amazing, no matter what you're wearing! You could wear a potato sack and he would still be head over heels.
• Likes to make fun of the X-Men with you. (To be fair, he would do this with you even if you weren't a mutant)
• Todd can never pay attention when you're fighting the X-Men, mostly because he's worried about you and because he thinks you're really hot when you're fighting.
• Also, this is just a general thing, but Todd would always be willing to hold you.
• "Oh, but I'm so heavy! I can't sit on your lap" He doesn't care. "We can't cuddle, I would crush you!" He doesn't care. He wants you to lay on him, no matter how much you weigh! He likes the closeness.
Thank you again for the ask! (I feel like such a celebrity right now lmao) I hope I managed to match your expectations.
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First, it hurts— Chapter XXXIII
Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader
While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.
Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.
Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?
Chapter warnings: because I’ve been asked about it quite frequently, it’s safe to say that… mentions of adultery, a bit of fluff while at it, some sad bits as well and a shocking revelation.
A/N: The storm might've tried to stop me... AND IT BRIEFLY DID, but I'm back at it again. :) Nothing much to say, except that I'm happy to be back hehe. Thank you for waiting for me 🥺❤️
Now, without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰
Masterlist ➸ Chapter 34
Ao3 link.
━─━────༺༻────━─━
“Dear Hinata—
I hope this letter finds you well.
I’m still not used to writing that, the dear Hinata thing. It reminds me of those really old letters, like those from the Victorian Era or the war, when people used to be very polite and stuff, super formal, even with their own friends and family! I don’t know how to describe it… it was just weird. I hope you get what I mean.
But yeah, reading back through my letters after I'm done writing them always makes me laugh because I think I’m being melodramatic.
In my excuse, it’s all because of those etiquette classes we were forced to take since we learned how to walk. Ugh, and only because of our roles in the clan! Which I don’t mind! Really… but sometimes the elders tend to be very weird about it, and it makes me feel like they don’t deserve to be treated respectfully at all! And I know that you, more than anyone else, would understand perfectly.
Ah, well, I’m not writing to you to complain about my experiences, I’m doing this because… there’s no other way to put it: I miss you.
It’s been a while since I heard anything from you, or anything at all. And I’m not writing either to complain about that! I don’t want you to feel guilty for not responding because I know you've been very busy with work.
Last thing I knew about the crisis was that it was getting worse. It was already bad on my last mission, so I can only imagine how it is now.
Either way, even when I understand why you can’t respond, it’s still… painful to not hear anything from you. I wish I could at least get one letter from you, a call, even a smoke signal for god’s sake, I don’t care, anything to let me know how you, Ren, dad, and everyone else is doing.
I hope Satoru isn’t bothering you too much, Sumire as well. I am well aware how annoying they can be on their own, so I feel even worse knowing that I can’t help you ease the burden of their antics ^^; hang on, Hinata!!
As for me, life here has been… ok, I guess. The life of a married woman is surprisingly boring and overwhelming at the same time, but I think it’s mainly because there’s so many new things I now have to take care of that I ever thought of before! Mom and dad sure made it seem so fun… or maybe it’s just them.
Anyways, now that I’ve experienced a bit of the “married life” I’m now confident enough to tell you that you did the right thing when not marrying Satoru.
Being a wife is boring, you’re expected to keep most of your time inside the house, tending to it and its inhabitants… So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it to you. Although I think Satoru could’ve managed to also make it irritating.
But yeah, being a sorcerer is much more exciting, totally. I wish I could’ve done a few more missions before retiring.
That kind of makes my life sound terrible, right? Like I’m locked or something. Please, don’t worry. I’m ok, busy, but ok. Just missing you, and Ren.
I hope dad is ok too. He worries me the most. I hope he hasn’t taken up on drinking again. You know how bad he gets when he does… so please, take care of him if possible.
From there, I don’t really have anything new to say. My ladies, Mariya, Haruko and Hitomi, have been quite calm nowadays, and that’s a bit eerie if you ask me! I hope you can meet them one day.
Or Mai and Maki, I think you’d find them adorably funny too! And mischievous, mostly that. They kind of remind me of us when we were younger. Oh, but they’re definitely way nicer, we used to be our parent’s nightmare, remember?
All in due time, I suppose.
Well… I guess the main point of this letter is to tell you that I miss you, very, very much. That I hope you’re ok and… don’t worry about me. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll be here, waiting for the day I can see you again.
Take care, and give everyone a big hug from my part.
Yours truly, Y/N.
P.S. Please Stop Satoru from getting the idea that just because I’m not there, my things are his. They’re not. And please, please, please don’t let him delete my save files. I do intend on playing them again when possible”
━─━────༺༻────━─━
And that’s how much of your discreet, seemingly harmless letters seem to go—an activity that took most of your attention when you weren’t the Lady of the House or Mai and Maki’s older sister.
One that would quickly become your go-to method when trying to ease the pain in your heart, even if Hinata has yet to write back, thanks to the catharsis it provided.
You’ve long lost count of how many letters you’ve written to her at this point. It’s in the double digits without a doubt, but not all of them have been sent. Because… not all of them were intended to be read.
And since they’re not meant to be seen… you don’t limit yourself when writing your thoughts down—whether they were good, or bad, none of that mattered once the ink fell into the paper.
━─━────༺༻────━─━
“Dear Hinata—
I wish you could meet him, but who knows when that will happen, so for now, I’ll tell you about him.
Naoaki is the best guy I have ever met in my life. I swear.
He’s sweet and caring, sometimes a bit blunt and a little bit weird too (in a good way!), but that doesn’t undermine what a great person he truly is.
Just to give you an example, I once told him that I liked mochi, and since then, he gets some for me whenever he can! I’ve had so much mochi in such a short time… maybe for a lifetime because of him. Although it’s not all bad, I got to taste all kinds of flavors I didn’t even know existed! Still, taro remains the best.
Although I have to admit that I feel kind of bad whenever he brings me stuff, because it’s like I’m forcing him to do that, you know? Even though he already told me that it’s nothing to worry about and that he actually likes doing it… Can you believe he’s even told me he likes doing that… because he likes thinking about me? The mere thought of it makes me blush!
I’ve had these kinds of things happen to me before, but never… like this. It’s different, special… and yet, I’m afraid of acknowledging these feelings. Why?
Well, moving on… You must be wondering what he looks like. All I can say is that he’s very cute—or more like cool! Like a bad boy kind of thing (∩˃o˂��)
Oooh, I hope Naoaki never gets to read this letter, because if he does, I think I’ll die!!
But yeah, no amount of words could ever compare to meeting him in person. I’m sure once you meet him you’ll like him too… not too much, I hope ( •̀ - •́ ) Just kidding!
I hope Ren likes him too, since he can be quite… protective sometimes. You know what? Nevermind, the two of you can be like that, dad too!—guess that’s the one thing I don’t miss about you three—now I’m hesitant if I want any of you to meet him, you’ll probably scare him while at it!
Well, I’m sure neither will feel that way with him. He really, really is… special.
I long for the day I’ll be able to see you all again. Take care.
Yours truly, Y/N.”
━─━────༺༻────━─━
“Dear Hinata—
I hope you’re ok with the fact that I’m no longer the youngest sister, because our family has grown thanks to the addition of the adorable twins Mai and Maki!
Mai is very sweet and soft spoken, rarely gets herself into trouble… or so that’s what she wants you to believe, because when you least expect it, she’s a mischievous little demon! I’ve already lost count of the times I’ve been spooked by her, and I’m 100% sure she’d give Satoru a run for his money—imagine all the things we could’ve planned together to get back at him? With guidance from us, the masters, Mai can be an excellent addition to our cause, and an unstoppable force ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ !!
But if you think that Mai is unstoppable, Maki is on a whole different level! She’s a bit rougher than her, although I think assertive is the right word for this situation… But don’t be fooled, for deep inside, she’s very sweet too. She’s caring and very protective of Mai and her mother, and isn’t afraid of speaking her mind. She kind of reminds me of you, and I think you two would definitely get along well. Also, I think I finally found your competition in her! Whenever we play she seems to never run out of energy, she’s also very strong, and sharp… is that even possible for a little girl like her? Maybe, you exist after all (¬‿¬ )
I wonder what Ren and dad would think of them—I know my mom would’ve loved them.
Yours truly, Y/N.”
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“Dear Hinata—
Have you ever seen something you weren’t supposed to? I promised not to tell anyone, but the embarrassment is killing me! So I need to tell someone, and that someone is you.
I saw… one of my ladies… with her boyfriend… doing… that. Kind of. Yeah. I don’t need to say more than that. And please don’t ask me to go into detail.
Obviously it wasn’t on purpose!! It was all an accident, but even if everything’s fine now, I still can’t get the image out of my head!!!
It was like… I don’t know, like when you hear that one of your teachers is pregnant. Like, sure, one can suppose those things happen in their personal life… but you don’t want to be told about them, you know?? Ugh!! The mental image!! Ewwww!!!
But ah, it certainly feels good to finally tell someone. I’ve been holding onto this secret for the longest because the rest of my staff doesn’t know, and can’t know because of some stupid details on their contract, but who am I to judge? Nonetheless, it was killing me!! But now you know too.
Now it’s only you, her, and me that knows this. So if this somehow leaks to the rest… I’ll know it was you! (◕‿◕)
Well, I can’t wait to see you again. Give Ren, dad, Sumire, and Satoru (optional) a big hug from me.
Yours truly, Y/N”
━─━────༺༻────━─━
“Dear Hinata—
I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.
I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.
I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.
Yours truly, Y/N”
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“Dear Hinata—
…Does Kento ever wonder about me? Because I do. There’s moments where I can’t stop thinking about him, wondering if he knows where I am, what I’m doing now—or if he thinks I’ve abandoned him.
I hope not…
Well, I’m sure you and Ren already managed that, so I guess there’s really nothing to worry about. Or perhaps he already found out what happened to me by himself. You know how Kento is, always the one to seek out the truth when something’s aggravating him…
Still, I wish I was the one who told him that personally. If only I had the time to do that… then maybe I wouldn’t feel like this.
Do you think he ever foresaw me getting married? Maybe because of our clan, but… I, for once, did not think it would happen, not like this anyways.
And there’s so many things that I missed from him too—like how he’s doing at his job, if he’s already moved to where he told me he was going… or maybe even a promotion!
I can’t believe I’m missing out on my friend’s life… and even if nothing has occurred, I still would’ve liked to be there. Take him out to eat to celebrate… or be the shoulder he can lament on.
…
I hope he'll be able to forgive me for not being there, and that I’ll also be able to make it up to him in due time.
Please let him know I’m ok, and that I miss him very, very much.
Yours truly, Y/N”
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“Dear Hinata—
I can’t hide it anymore. I feel like I'm suffocating whenever I have to swallow my feelings and act as if nothing is happening, when the truth is completely different.
I need to get them out, get all of my pain out, less I want to be consumed by it.
My life at the Zen’in estate has been nothing but a nightmare—no, more than that. Nightmares at least end when you wake up. But I haven’t been able to do that. Whether I’m awake, or asleep, this is never ending, every day, getting worse as each day passes.
I can only assume this is hell.
The things I’ve been forced to go through just because of their depravity are ones I don’t think myself capable of writing down. The mere thought of them nauseates me, makes me want to run, as fast as I can and scream, to let everyone know what I have suffered… but I can’t, and I won’t, because I know no one will hear me.
Naoya has defiled my body, broken my spirit, humiliated me in all kinds of unimaginable ways, taken pride in it, and done it all over again.
But what hurts me the most isn’t what he did, but rather… how I allowed it.
There are days I can’t even stand the sight of myself in the mirror because all that I see is a weak woman that allowed herself to be soiled.
I lived through a lifetime of training, and yet, I couldn’t even stop him from hurting me.
Our family was right when saying that I wasn’t suited to be a sorcerer. Because how could I expect to protect others if I can’t even protect myself?
I’m weak. I’m a disappointment to you, to our family, to the community, and to myself.
Yet… you still wish to save me. You’re working so hard to get me out of here, as if I were worthy of your effort, while I’m unable to do the simplest of things…
I’m ashamed of all the things I’ve put you through. I wish to relieve you of all of this.
If only I could… die, stop being a burden to all of those that care for me, and just disappear… I know everyone would be much better.
I’m sorry”
━─━────༺༻────━─━
So on and so forth.
There’s no particular order behind these letters nor a general meaning to them—outside of being nothing more than a way to vent out the emotions you’re hesitant of disclosing to others, eventually sealing them in their respective envelope, and securely stashing them away from your staff and Naoaki, never to see the light of day.
There were days where your prolificness would show up after particular occurrences, making you fear for their privacy for you didn’t wish to appear… obvious that you were doing something outside the usual before your staff, especially from Mariya since nothing seems to escape her keen eye.
But if she has noticed such a thing, she’s yet to let you know. Well, you guess you could rest easily knowing she would never tell your secret to anyone else, and she’d never confront you directly about it either… but living with that uncertainty might come to torment you from time to time.
Ah, it’s probably all in your head either way. You’re more careful nowadays.
Nonetheless, you appreciate her prudence towards your sensitive matters… and the fact that you were able to find a good friend in this never-ending nightmare that is the Zen’in estate.
Three friends, to be precise: Haruko, Hitomi, and Mariya—they are the definition of loyal, understanding, and empathetic. Even after all that occurred… the horrible things you did to them… they still stood by your side, unwavering.
If there was only a way to repay all they’ve done for you… you’d take it without hesitation.
Or at least a better way from what you already tried. The sweets you got during your last outing were an attempt at that, but that’s only the least you could do and certainly not comparable…
So even after giving them what you labeled a token of your appreciation, you kept wondering day after day, just what else was in your power to show how truly grateful you were towards them…?
“What’s got your cute little head all worked up?”
“Hmm?” you blink, pulled away from the deep realm of your thoughts, back to the present and to the young man alongside you, Naoaki, alongside the wide variety of snacks your staff had prepared for your first break after a long day of overlooking your customary responsibilities. Just like everyday.
His focused yet inquisitive golden eyes intently stare at you, and this prompts you to shake off whatever remained of your thoughts away, and finally conduct all of your undivided attention to him.
“Oh, nothing, I was just… thinking.” you say, what happens to be somewhat of a truth.
“I can see that” he says, inching a bit closer to your side before reaching over for a grape and offering it to you. It’s been a while since you snacked on something, too deep into your mind to have noticed. He was getting a bit worried, so that’s why he called for you. “That’s a dangerous thing to do, you know”
You give him a small smile before chuckling, cheeks slightly warming up by the action as you take the fruit from his hand. Fingers slightly grazing each other, but you don’t think much of it.
“What? Afraid that I might be plotting something dangerous?”
“Maybe” he smirks, and then shrugs. “Gotta know if I have to prepare for the worst”
“Where’s the fun in that?” you tease back, then place the grape into your mouth. “I like to keep some mystery when plotting my evil schemes”
“You? Evil?” He ribbed. “Impossible”
“Huh? Why are you doubting me? I can be if I put my mind to it.” you sassed back.
“No, not a cutie like you—You and your mochi cheeks can be anything but evil” Naoaki smirks, raising his hand to carefully pinch your right cheek, and then, you’re overtaken by a combination of embarrassment and shock.
Frozen by his words, you’re unable to do anything else but try to back away from his hand, looking away being the quickest solution, before whispering once freed from him “...don’t say things like that”
“Or deceivingly evil too” he adds with a chuckle. Naoaki is clearly enjoying just how easy it is to get you all flustered. Cute is the word he uses to describe how he sees you. “Feeling better?”
“... a bit” Once your embarrassment disappears, you turn back to him, now able to appreciate the intentions behind his unforeseen efforts.
You don’t know how he does it, (or why in some of your most self-conscious moments) but it’s like he has a sixth sense when detecting whenever you’re feeling down—Perhaps it’s your glaring gloomy face and your uncharacteristic silence that gives it away—and how always knows how to make you happy.
You truly can't believe you were blessed enough to meet him in a place like this.
“Did you like the candy?” you proceed to change subjects, one that you remember not following through due to both of your unavoidable commitments.
“I’m not that much into sweets, but I liked the few I tasted.” Naoaki admits as he leans back into his arm, sighing. You move closer to him, placing your arms alongside his and resting your head on his shoulder, gaze landing on the garden before the two—it's one of the few that still had some spring flowers, the others having already withered away due to the cold weather. In order to make the most of them before they inevitably disappear, this has become your go-to place whenever taking a break. “Now that I think about it, that makes me sound a bit ungrateful”
“No— of course not!” you shake your head; the last thing you wanted was your gift to be perceived as anything else but what you intended: appreciation. “I mean… I was just trying to repay you for all the things you’ve given and done for me… but there’s nothing more I would’ve liked than getting you something closer to your preference, but I—”
“Don’t worry about it” he interjects, swiftly cutting the path he thinks to be leading you back into sour memories. He’s stayed away until now, and Naoaki wants to keep it that way. “I still liked them. I just hope you don’t mind I shared them with Naohiko and Naofumi so they wouldn’t go to waste”
“Oh, you did?” you blink, and your interest is hooked at their mention.
It’s been quite a while since you saw either, even more so to when you last spoke to them.
The only exception being Naohiko, and that’s only because of the surprising interest he had towards one of your ladies. From there, it’s not hard to guess why he kept his distance from you: he doesn’t like you. And honestly? You’re ok with that. He’s not very friendly to begin with anyways.
Naofumi, however, is the one you have not seen at all after your introduction, aside from brief glances here and there, occasional greetings whenever he’s close enough to hear them, but from there, nothing. He’s virtually invisible, and that’s a shame, because you felt a certain affection towards him and would love to get to know him a bit better. Maybe Naoaki can arrange something…?
“What did they think?” you ask.
“I hope you weren’t expecting much from Naohiko, since he’s kind of… how do I say it…?”
“A jerk?” you blurt out, and he huffs.
“Heh, guess there’s no other way to put it”
“Hmmm, well, it seems he’s only like that with me. Others would say he’s not that bad.” you say, and Naoaki raises an eyebrow.
“Now that’s a new one. Where did that come from?”
“Oh, nowhere.” you shrug, reaching for another grape. You intend to stuff it in your mouth as if to create an escape from being confronted and telling on more than you already have, but Naoaki, who came from a family of exceptional sorcerers, caught on to your intentions almost immediately, and swiftly robbed the grape from your hand, foiling your escape plan and causing you to drop your mouth agape out of shock. “Hey!”
“Ah, ah” he grins, raising his hand to keep the grape away from you as you scurry to grab it back, to no avail. “No grape for you until you tell me”
“Tell you what? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you feign ignorance, or more like try to save Hitomi’s reputation, with a wide grin on your lips that implies something else. You might be a bit offended by his actions, but you can’t say you weren’t having fun.
“I’ve never heard anyone say that about my brother” he explains, face leaning closer to yours. You blush, darting your eyes away at the sudden proximity. “Come on, Y/N. Tell me— or I’ll be forced to keep you here. I don’t care if you have more things to do, you’re not leaving until you tell me.”
“Well then, I hope you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing because we’re spending the night here!” you declare, crossing your arms and looking away. He huffs, clearly impressed
“Seems I miscalculated your loyalty for your staff.”
“My staff?” you blink “Who said anything about—”
“Guess.”
Ah, Naohiko, of course. His well-known imprudence goes hand-in-hand with indiscretion. There is no way he would’ve been able to keep quiet about his newfound interest on the then newest addition to the staff, the dark yet beautifully mysterious Hitomi, without gushing about it to his brothers, of course. It’s physically impossible for him to do so.
“...Oh” you murmur, sounding a bit defeated. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“Well, putting aside Naohiko’s opinion, Naofumi liked them very much. I’m telling you, you don’t find these kinds of things around the estate, so it's only obvious they'd jump at the chance of eating them—even if they don’t like it.” he reassures you with a smile, enjoying the way your face seems to light up at the seeming approval of one of his siblings. A sight he never wishes to take his eyes from… or better, earn it for himself. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything, I can assure you, they liked it”
“I wasn’t that worried about them…” you slowly begin to confess, cheeks slowly obtaining a crimson color as you glance from the garden before you, to his hands, and finally, up to his eyes. “...I was more worried… about you.”
“Really?” he murmurs, his voice low and husky, in such a way that makes something inside you… burn, as he tilts his head to the side.
Naoaki is moved by your admittance, however, he’s not surprised, for you often portray your care towards others, it was in your kind nature after all.
But the more he gets to be with you, the more he can’t help but think that, from a moment forward, there’s been an additional value behind your words, your actions; and he’s not talking about the night he cuddled you, he’s talking about something else, something deeper.
Something more meaningful, intimate between the two—a thing he longs for, yet, saddens him.
There’s no doubt in his mind that if the circumstances between the two had been completely different, without his brother lingering in the background, and no commitments holding you down, he wouldn’t be this hesitant. Perhaps you neither.
But after all that’s happened… is it… impossible? Maybe… there is something to be done.
“Do you think of me often?” he incites. “Because I do”
“…There’s no way to answer that” you press your lips together, swallowing before looking away once again—you can never look him in the eye like this, yet, as overwhelming as it feels, you don’t wish to run away.
“I think there is.” He says, moving his hand close to your lips, hovering over them and carefully placing the grape there, as if inviting you to let it in.
You were hesitant, beyond flustered by the seemingly intimate undertone of his action and the consequences that it could unleash, but you eventually relent, slowly opening your lips and accepting the fruit.
But when you thought your agitation couldn’t worsen, the moment you feel the warmth from his fingertips slide over your lips your heart explodes.
It’s not the first time you’ve been this close to him, the most being when you shared a bed with him one particular night you were feeling like absolute garbage, but this… this is beyond that—and you know so because it feels like that.
You’ve long admitted feeling the existence of a sprout, the smallest of them yet ever present, of what you assumed to be feelings for him.
It took you a while to get there, still working on it in a way, mainly out of fear of doing something that might endanger you, or… not wanting to go past the point of no return when you finally acknowledge them.
It’s not time for that, you’d say to yourself from time to time, as if to feel less guilty for them this isn’t something you should be doing if you want to survive…
But if all he’s ever done is bring you happiness in this cold, dark world, keep you… hopeful, perhaps even motivated, to keep on fighting…
Is it really that bad to indulge in them?
Anyone else would’ve supposed not.
After chewing your grape, you look back up to him, only for your cheeks to flare up even more—was that even possible at this point?—for his golden eyes were firmly set on yours, and it might just be your imagination, but you feel as if he were… asking you to do something. Do more.
It’s like he could see the essence of your soul, and the turmoil in your thoughts, discarding everything else around you, and hypnotizing you to solely keep your attention on him and make a decision regarding your feelings.
But that moment was not to arrive just yet, and when his exposure felt too much for your poor heart to handle, as well as remembering your current position, you instinctively looked away, comfortingly reaching for another grape, and shoving it into your mouth, in order to bail you out of this situation.
Had you been alone, in the confines in your room with him, underneath this exact situation, would you have reacted the same way? Or finally take the next step?
“…A—Anyways” you murmur, voice strained, as you do your best to wash away the lingering sentiments of this sudden encounter while praying that this hadn’t ruined anything between the two. After all, there is a possibility you were just misinterpreting his actions…
Can you still say that after he admitted to wanting to be close to you, outside of a simple friendship?
“How’s—How’s work?”
Naoaki falters for a moment at your unexpected detour, frantically asking himself if he had overstepped and caused you to feel uncomfortable.
Maybe, but even then, he doesn’t allow this change to upset him that much—out of the necessary of course. Naoaki hates the possibility of hurting you, so much that he’s already thinking on how to make it up to you— for he's long learned that these small moments with you are the ones he should value above anything else; if it’s meant to happen, it will… he supposes.
Instead, he smiles, holding back his disappointment and angst for longing something more, before continuing on with conversation.
“Busy, it’s been terrible. And it’s only getting worst since we’re getting close to the busiest day of the year”
“Busiest day…?” you repeat, wasn’t that usually during summer?
“October, finals of”
Oh. Right. It’s only the second busiest day of the year for sorcerers.
“Halloween” you answer “Wow, time sure goes by fast”
Has it really been that long since you married Naoya?
“Especially when you’re busy.” he groans. Naoaki sure loves working as a sorcerer, but sometimes it just… ugh. “I’m not enjoying the fact I rarely get time to spend here anymore, from the moment I wake to when I sleep, all I do is work, work, paperwork, and more work”
“I’ve noticed—you rarely spend the night here too.”
“Hmmm, when you put it that way, I guess I got lucky.”
“Why?” you tilt your head, confused.
“I saved myself from your cold hands and feet”
You pale.
“Jesus… Naoaki” you frown “… you always have to make fun of me, don’t you?”
“I can’t help it, you make it too easy” he smirks, and your indignation (or worry, more likely) is ignited once more.
“I’m working on it. It was supposed to be a surprise but… I guess I could tell you now” you effused, now both excited and nervous to see his reaction. “I was making gloves for you! So… my hands wouldn’t bother you that much”
Naoaki blinks, now it’s his time to be flustered.
“Oh, Y/N… I—I was only joking about that!”
“... it doesn’t have to be just for that” you say, embarrassed to have taken his words a bit too seriously. But you couldn’t be blamed, the last thing you wanted to be is a nuisance for him… and you felt your hands too… maybe you should be the one wearing them? Oh, how… awkward… “You can take them to missions, or just… use them in general… If I ever get to finish them”
“What do you mean?”
“I was doing them alongside Hitomi, but now she’s doing something else so I had to pause that. I hope I’ll be able to catch up before winter ends!” you chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your neck and Naoaki smiles. He already thought you couldn’t be any more perfect… but your enthusiasm towards his gift proved him wrong.
“I’m sure they’re going to be great when you finish them” he reassures you and your heart flutters. For him, you’ll do your best. “As for catching up… there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you before I leave again”
“Oh” your heart sinks. Already so soon? He’s only been here for a few hours, must he really go? “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow. And it seems I won’t be able to visit you until halloween season is over, but I’ll try to do my best to be here.” he says, and you press your lips. It definitely sounds like it’s going to be a long time before you’ll be able to see him again… you just hope nothing bad happens until then.
“What is it that you wanted to tell me?”
“I saw your sister the other day”
And in less than a second, the sentiments you had of anguish pertaining to his absence were swiftly replaced by those of shock and optimism, for what this sudden course of events could mean to your predicament, and overall, the closure you've been desperately seeking.
“Wh—where? When??” Unable to contain your emotions, you fret, instinctively lunging towards him and grabbing his hands. Although when it comes to him, when do you not?
“HQ called for a reunion a while ago” Naoaki starts, holding onto your hands gently. It was endearing for him to see how your big round eyes glistened with anticipation at the mention of your sister.
Oh, if only…
“I wasn’t expecting to be there at first, but since I’m covering for Naoya for the moment… Anyways, the meeting turned out to be a pretty important one since a bunch of other sorcerers were there, amongst them, your sister.”
“Was—Did you see my brother too?” you naturally presume, your expectations now soaring in the sky.
“No, unfortunately I didn’t” he responds, and you press your lips, discouraged. «Well, you shouldn’t be greedy» you try to reassure yourself «it’s good enough that he’s been able to see at least one person from my family»
“What happened? Did she talk with you? Did you talk to her?”
“Ah, Y/N… I’m going to be completely honest—I tried approaching her but she… she didn’t seem very friendly” Naoaki chuckled nervously, so as to hide his own disappointment towards himself. It seems that whenever he has advancements regarding your family, it’s always negative.
He wishes that the day he’d be able to tell you something good will come soon… if only to easen some of your burdens.
“What… happened?” you prod on. To say that you were also disappointed… well, it was only expected that you’d be. “Did she say something?”
“I tried approaching her, at first to say hi but as soon as she looked at me I felt as if I had done something terrible. She gave me a stern look, remained quiet, and then… left. I gotta say Y/N, if it wasn’t because you two look alike, I would've never guessed you were related to her—since you’re so kind and friendly…”
With that, alongside the fact this wasn’t the first time you heard such a thing, you’d have to agree with Naoaki.
Hinata always carried an aura that was colloquially known as “scary dog privilege” wherever she went—especially with you.
In other words, whenever out together, Hinata acted as if she were your own personal bodyguard, scaring off unsuspecting passersby she considered unworthy of your attention, presenting a threat to you, or just people she didn’t vibe with—and that’s a behavior she had since childhood
To make matters worse, Ren was like that too—you grew to assume that their overprotectiveness came from your status as the youngest of the family (and in some peculiar cases, fear of being replaced), a quirk that came straight from your father’s side—although you could feel a bit at ease with him, since he acted that way that with everyone… kind of.
So to hear that your sister wasn’t that receptive towards Naoaki was not surprising—if anything, it just made sense. From a start, Hinata never liked the Zen’in, considering them to be too conceited. A sentiment that naturally extended to Naoya. Who Naoaki looks like…
You sigh.
Had Hinata known Naoaki the same way you did, you were absolutely sure their encounter would’ve been way different—maybe even worked with him to get you out of there— but since all she has for reference is Naoya, it’s only natural that she’d treat him with a certain… disdain.
Perhaps not stupidly obvious as to not set off any alarms, but she wouldn’t relate to him any more than necessary. For all she knew, Naoaki might be just as guilty as Naoya.
Is that—is that the reason why she hasn’t responded to your letters? They are signed under Naoaki’s name after all…
«Oh, Hinata…»
You really hoped she would’ve seen through their façade and given them a chance… Her stubbornness can be quite the powerful enemy when it comes to it.
But if that hasn’t been achieved in the past, what makes you think it would change now?
“Yeah, that sounds like my sister alright” you murmured, releasing another sigh. “She’s always been like that, not… very friendly.”
“She did greet me eventually” Naoaki interjects, as if trying to save the reputation of your sister before your eyes. As an older brother, he knows all too well that awful feeling of disappointing your younger siblings. “It was a quick nod, and I can’t blame her, she seemed to have the heaviest workload of the season, at least from what I heard at the briefing—no wonder she wasn’t all too friendly, she’s probably overworked.”
Another reason, the most plausible one, for her silence. One that consoles you into not being so harsh towards her.
You can’t imagine that being a very important, highly sought after sorcerer was any fun, or that it left her any time to do something. That was already her life when she was just a student, getting to see her less and less during holiday breaks, so now that she’s a professional it just got worse.
Yet, as overworked as she was, you never left her mind.
This doesn’t make you feel any less regretful than you already were when it came to your frustration for her lack of response—but it at least reminds you to be extra careful if you decide to send more letters to her.
Your actions, even though taking place in a secluded area, must not jeopardize her in any shape or form. Avoid giving away anything that might inform Naoya you’re planning your escape with your sister and ruin her efforts.
Now that you think about it, Naoaki actually exposed himself even more than he already has when it came to interacting with her.
If anyone from the Zen’in clan, or someone close to them, had seen the two or gotten the faintest idea that something was going on, they might’ve rushed to relay this information to your tormentors with the purpose of enacting punishment—more so after your reputation as been notably tarnished after the rumors that sprouted between you and Naoaki.
You assume that because something has yet to occur, they didn’t know—but risks are something you can’t afford to take and maybe next time you won’t be as lucky.
“It’s good she didn’t say anything then” you say, and this catches Naoaki by surprise.
“Why do you say that, Y/N?”
“Because someone could’ve seen you with her and assumed something bad” you explain “I’m… supposed to be here, cut away from the world, right?”
“…right” he frowns, whenever he remembers that you’re virtually locked up in this fancy jail infuriates him. Yet, he doesn’t want you to lose hope, and he reminds you that. “I’m still willing to send her letters.”
“Thank you… but right now I don’t have anything” you say, omitting the fact that you’ve been writing consistently, although as explained before, for therapeutic reasons. Not exactly letters you’d want to be delivered any time soon, if at all, and certainly not the ones you’d wish to get intercepted if you ran out of luck. “For now I just want you to focus on your job, do the best you can, and get back safely—from what you’ve told me, it seems it’s only getting worse.”
“Ah, that’s nothing new” he shrugs. “The only thing I look forward to when out are the days I’ll be able to see you again.”
“…gee, you just love making me feel bad, don’t you?” you pout.
“Huh? Why?” he chuckles. “I’m just saying the truth”
“Because you make me sound like I’m so interesting, when that couldn’t be any further from the truth! I just tend to the house, help Mai and Maki with their homework, or follow Junko around the estate. Certainly not things I’d call exciting.”
“That’s not true. And you know that.” Naoaki frowns, he never, ever liked this denigrating aspect of yours. To him, you were doing equally important work. “Either way, I’d rather you do that than be out there where it’s not safe… Although I’m sure you’re more than apt in defending yourself, fellow sorcerer—even if you hadn’t told me your technique yet.”
Ah, if only he knew you were questioning your abilities in one of those many letters…
“Like I told you… I’d rather show you.” you explain and he smiles.
“I’ll look forward to that day then” He gently pinches your cheek, and you huff, annoyed by the pain from his pinch, before laughing once he releases you and chuckles as well.
A shadow suddenly emerges at the distance, catching your attention just by the corner of your eye, making your head swirl into its direction in an attempt to figure out what it was.
The answer soon appears clear as day: It’s Mariya, with a tray in her hands intended to pick up your plates, walking towards the two, alongside the reminder that your break was over.
“I have to go now” you say, a bit embarrassed at the notion that she might’ve seen your closeness with Naoaki, as well as upset that it had to end seemingly so soon—It’s been well over an hour, far longer than what you intended, but with him, time seems nonexistent. “Well, I’m certainly happy that I got to see you before you left”
“It was nice seeing you again too, pretty” he smirks and you halt, mind attempting to process his compliment, before continuing on by standing up quickly, an effort made to aside your fluster, and begin to pick up your plates—but Naoaki wins you to it by doing the same, if not a bit faster.
“…Thank you” you say, receiving the dishes from his hands, before looking up to him. No words were said between the two, but you knew it was not time to say goodbye.
Your farewells with him now consisted of a hug, which you were more than tempted to do on this occasion, but Mariya’s presence stops you, so instead, you opt to perform a simple bow, wish him a good trip, and turn around for your own departure.
Or so that’s what you intended to do, for Naoaki had another plan; before you were able do as much as think of heading towards Mariya, he swiftly grabs you by the arm, careful to not startle you into dropping the plates and pulls you into his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around you and encasing you there.
Your heart was already a mess the moment the back of your head landed on his chest, more so when you unwittingly imagined the look in Mariya’s face for acting witness to this moment, but when you take a whiff of his scent, and feel his head resting on yours before kiss it, you spiral.
“In case I don’t see you for a while—I don’t want to forget how you feel in my arms”
With your hands slightly trembling, Naoaki eventually releases you from his grasp, slowly turning you around to give you a soft kiss on the forehead—another gesture that has your heart thundering against your ears.
“See you later, Y/N. Don’t work yourself too hard.” And with that, Naoaki leaves.
Your eyes remain glued on his back as he walks further and further away from you, as if trying to ensure his safe departure, before returning to the present and to the stern face of a woman who wasn’t too fond of this relationship (but under divergent circumstances compared to the Zen'in) when he was finally gone—Mariya.
Once seeing you walk towards her, Mariya snaps out of her trance and steps closer to you, intending to swiftly maneuver the plates from your hand into her tray.
“Did you enjoy your food?” She asks. You tried to help her with her task, but no matter how many times you tried, she never relented. Well, Mariya didn’t gain her outstanding reputation for nothing.
The first thing that Mariya noticed from the plates was that the snacks were completely gone. She usually doesn’t make a big deal out of it, outside of watching what kinds of things you were inclined to eat and see if they matched Junko’s… “suggested” diet, however before she could do all that, she first needs to assess whether it had been you the one behind its emptiness or Naoaki, whom she has now unwillingly taken the role to feed as well.
Which she did not like, not one bit.
Couldn’t he just ask his own staff or something? Her loyalty only extends to you, not him. Ah, well, it doesn’t matter anymore, she’s long accepted the fact that whenever he’s around she’s feeding two.
“Yes, it was good as always” you say, a quick nod and a smile on your face as you now follow Mariya deeper into the estate and onto your following chores—your previous sentiments of awkwardness now slowly dissipating. “The grapes were particularly sweet today.”
“They’re from a fresher batch, Haruko made sure to check them.”
“Haruko’s taste never fails.” you proudly state. “I know I can always count on her for that!”
Mariya’s lips tugged upwards at the mentions of one of the sisters, and it wouldn’t take much longer before she comes to the conclusion that she’d be a fool to let Naoaki ruin her time with you. After all, she too has found a good friend in you.
“Her reactions are the best way to know if a food is good or not. If it’s good, she’d grin, but if it’s bad, she’d twist her mouth in the funniest way ever that always has me laughing!—Ah, this takes me back to the face she made upon tasting the sweets you got her. I’ve never seen her that happy!”
And how could you forget? It had been a sight that eased your nerves, caused by your indecision when it came to selecting gifts for your staff.
Of all of them, you were most hesitant towards Haruko due to her peculiar appetite. While she was known to be a great lover of all the edible, you didn’t want to choose the one thing she didn’t like.
Fortunately, of all things that were said of Haruko, being a picky eater was not amongst them, apparent on her excitement upon receiving your gift, wasting no time to rip the box open and gobble all of its contents, which naturally earned her a scolding from Hitomi.
“If you eat them too quickly you won’t get to enjoy them!”
Haruko was on her way to retaliate, but you swiftly interrupted her by taking out another bag of sweets and handing it over to her.
“I… kind of suspected that would happen, so I got more.” you explain nervously. “I wasn’t sure which of the two to get you, so I got both… I hope it’s ok.”
Moved by your gesture, Haruko would begin to cry, much to your shock, and then, happiness.
“Oh Y/N-chan…!” she then lunged towards you to wrap her arms around you, unwittingly rattling you. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you so much!!”
You chuckle, immediately wrapping your arms around her, reassuring her it was fine and to continue on with tasting out all of the sweets—you got her a variety pack after all, and all flavors must obtain her approval before anything else!
Hitomi on the other hand, relents to accepting that her sister will always be like that, sighing and crossing her arms as if disappointed, but then, a smile parts her lips, proving that it really didn’t bother her that much either way.
Hitomi and Mariya would also get a gift from you, showing their gratitude in a less theatrical way than Haruko, but holding the same sentiment.
The seamstress would have a few samples at that moment, before saving them for another occasion, in her own words: to have after dinner, or when craving something different from the usual.
And Mariya would do the same, keeping her two bags for another moment, but for an entirely different situation. Which wasn’t a decision that raised any suspicion amongst the rest of your staff, only clear to those involved: she intended to share them with Tatsuro, her boyfriend. And you wanted her to share them with him, for you also wished to acknowledge how he, although indirectly, supported you as well—it’s why you gave her double the gifts in the first place.
From there, last but not least, Mai and Maki: as a reward for all the hard work they’ve been doing at school and to keep persevering, as well to show that you cherished them very, very much. God knows they deserve it the most.
However their mother, always the attentive one, seemed to sense the intention from you as soon as it crossed your mind, and before you were even able to do as much as ask for them, Junko warned.
“Don’t even think about it.”
Well, now you were left with more bags that you would’ve liked, and the responsibility of finishing them before rumors began to make their way across the halls.
Haruko, Hitomi and you tried to finish them to the best of your ability, but the team took a hit when Haruko went into a small sugar coma, forcing the rest of the members to delegate this task to someone else, that person being… Tatsuro.
Ever since that aspect of Mariya’s personal life became apparent, all of her actions gained another layer of meaning—it was so obvious that when she wasn’t partaking in her responsibilities, she was spending time with him. Either through her slightly pinkish cheeks, the smallest strands of her out of place from her usually tight bun, or the subtle stammers accompanying her speech… all roads that led to him.
Which prompts you to ask…
“So… how was Tatsuro today?” you say, a mischievous smirk on your face as the two continue on your path.
“Good… thank you for asking.” Mariya says, carefully glancing at her surroundings as if to check no one’s around, before continuing on. “He’s been in a happier mood since you got him those candies, said it reminded him of his childhood, when he’d go to the convenience store after a hard day at school, to cheer himself up.”
She laughs at the memory.
“Oh, and what was a hard day for you, Tatsuro? Getting to study instead of playing? ” she’d tease.
“Absolutely! A kid has to enjoy a healthy balance of work and play! You’ll have the rest of your life to worry about those things—so why not make the best of your youth when you can?” he states proudly, before pulling her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her shoulder “And I just happen to know someone who needs to be reminded of that”
“Just eat” she says, hearing him laugh before kissing her cheek.
“I’m glad he liked them” you smile before sighing. “Ah, but I’m still upset that I wasn't able to give them to Mai and Maki…”
“Don’t torture yourself with it. You know how their mother is, it’s the intention that counts at the end, and I’m sure they would’ve liked it either way”
“I would’ve loved to hear it from them though… and isn’t it weird that Junko-san doesn't let them eat candies? They’re kids! That’s when you’re supposed to!” you justify.
“Is that what you told yourself when you were younger to not feel bad?” Mariya raises an eyebrow, taunting you with a smirk.
“…Maybe” the two laugh. “Oh, come on, Mariya! Don’t tell me you didn’t indulge in sweets when you were younger!”
“I couldn’t afford them when I was younger” she declares, and her statement makes you feel… a bit like a jerk, honestly. You really should remember that not everyone has the same facilities as you—Hitomi and Haruko being prime examples of that, having previously confided to you that they virtually send all of their money to their mother and sister in order for them to live a comfortable life.
Mariya catches your gloomy reaction, which immediately makes her regret her selection of words, and proceeds to clear up the guilt in your face. “I mean, I might not specifically indulge in sweets, but there were other things I liked.”
“Like what?” you eventually ponder, now feeling less imprudent. What could the talented Mariya long for when the midnight craves hit?
“Shaved ice— I know it’s not that easy to do, but, oh… it’s so, so worth it.” She says, with a tone that drips of desire to get her hands on a bowl.
“What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Strawberry, but I’ve been leaning more into lemon nowadays, or a combination of flavors. Ever since Tatsuro bombarded me with strawberries I’m done with it—at least for now.”
“Aaaahh, so the best way to win your heart is through food?” you gasp “Who would’ve known!”
“You’re quite cheeky, aren’t you?” she grits her teeth, you laugh.
“But am I lying though??—Oh, how sweet!”
“…He is! “ Putting aside your playfulness, Mariya succumbs to doting on her undeniably adorable boyfriend—and let him be appreciated too! “Whenever there’s a new delivery of shaved ice he always does his best to save some for me…”
“Aww, I can see he loves you, very, very much” you gush “How long have you and Tatsuro been dating for?”
“We’ve actually been together for a few mon—”
“Who’s Tatsuro?” A gentle voice asks, coming from behind the two and certainly unaccounted for, evident by the way you and Mariya freeze on the spot, wide-eyed and skin pale, while darting at each other distressed we messed up glances before slowly turning around to uncover their identity:
It was Hitomi. The last person they wanted knowing of Mariya’s secret.
There’s a reason why you and Mariya had kept this aspect of her life away from them, specifically the seamstress. And it’s not because neither believed them capable of keeping a secret, as you stated before, they were tombs when it came to that.
But rather… Mariya didn’t want to disappoint them. Didn’t want to appear hypocritical by saying she was following the guidelines of the estate, and then, not.
She already went through her fair share of doubts when it came to accepting her feelings for him and subsequently starting a relationship, so she could only imagine how this would shatter the perfect image of responsibility she conveyed to them—the one that worried her the most was Hitomi, the stricter of the two, and the most sensitive as well.
Thus, it’s only reasonable that she’d lie on this occasion.
“Oh, no one important.” Mariya explained, jumping to adopt the indifferent stance she has to take in these situations, while scrambling to create a good enough response to stop Hitomi’s rising suspicions. “Just a fellow staff member, one I talk to from time to time to check the goods that arrive at the estate. He’s part of the group in charge of the exteriors, like finding wood, or the food that isn’t found at the village, those kinds of things—that might be why you don’t know him.”
The seamstress keeps quiet while intently staring at your main lady-in-waiting, seemingly with no other intentions than to scrutinize her words down to the smallest details and find the underlying deceit, if there’s any.
As seconds pass and she has yet to say anything, both you and Mariya feel the pressure of her judgment growing heavier and heavier in the air, slowly coming to realize that the moment both did the best they could to avoid, has finally arrived.
Time goes by agonizingly slowly under Hitomi’s sharp gaze, and you could almost feel a confrontation was to happen, the anticipation making your palms sweat, Mariya’s heart pounding painfully —it’s such a nerve wracking moment, that when Hitomi finally decides to speak, both feel like they’re going to pass out.
Fortunately, it seems that all their worries were for naught, for what she says and does is nothing less than music to both yours and Mariya’s ears: she sighs, crossing her arms, and takes the conversation to an entirely different direction.
“I see. Well, I just came to see Y/N.” Hitomi says “There’s some clothes I want her to try for the cold season, before it gets cold obviously.”
“Oh—it’s that what you’ve been working on?” Mariya asks, now feeling safe that her secret will continue being just that, a secret. Nonetheless, something from this moment would continue to bother her the back of her mind, as if telling her to not lower her guard just yet, for Hitomi might’ve moved this topic for another day…—or maybe it’s just her paranoia speaking.
“Yes—I wanted to make something for Y/N-chan as a thank you for the gift she gave us.” she explains—and suddenly it all made sense as to why she’d paused your lessons with her, why she’d disappeared for hours, or why she was going down to the village more often than necessary. It’s because she was preparing warm clothes for you.
And as if that wasn’t impressive enough, the reason behind her actions makes you feel more silly when comparing what you gave her in the first place.
You don’t try to believe, at all, that your candies are adequate competition against the amazing garment you were absolutely sure she had prepared for you…
“Oh…” you murmur, cheeks red with embarrassment yet, moved by her gesture. “thank you…”
“It’s nothing” she says, turning to you and giving you a smile. “I already have the things in your room—if there’s nothing else pending to do, I’d like you to try them on now.”
“There’s only one thing left on your schedule, Y/N” Mariya says “But it’s not urgent, so we can postpone it to later.”
“Then it’s set, let’s try on some new clothes!” You grin, clasping your hands. Truth to be told, you were glad this change happened, because you weren’t feeling like going back to your duties just yet. So no resistance from your part.
“Where’s Haruko, by the way?” Mariya asks once the group begins to head towards your chambers.
“She’s in the kitchen, but she’s already making her way here.” Hitomi responds. Knowing her sister well, she made it her duty to tell her first before searching for you, for in Haruko’s own words… I’d die if you made something and didn’t show me!
“Then it won’t take long to see her.” Mariya presumes, and just as they enter the living quarters, the blurry image of Haruko sprinting to their direction makes its appearance. “Talk of the devil…”
“Ah, I’m so happy I managed to get here before anything started!” she breathes, rushing over to the group while seemingly holding something underneath her sleeves and obi—her enthusiasm makes you feel anxious and a bit embarrassed, for it makes it seem as if you were attending some kind of gala…
Well, you won’t say that underneath all those sentiments, you weren’t a bit excited too.
“What do you have there?” Hitomi frowns upon noticing the protrusion on her clothes, silently hoping it’s not one of her usual escapades that will definitely put her in trouble if seen by the wrong eyes…
“Snacks, of course!” she grins, making the youngest of the two groan. Mariya and you hold back stifled chuckles, the performance was just about to start.
“Oh, Haruko! How many times have I told you not to do that? Were you at least careful to not be cau—”
Thud!
The noise, although relatively demure when compared to Hitomi’s voice or the sounds of water coming from the nearby pond, is prominent enough to cut through their conversation and immediately pull their attention towards it’s direction.
They kept silent, as if waiting for a repetition…
Thud!
It came from the same direction, and now, all of their attention is on it. With their curiosity growing stronger and stronger the closer they got to its origin, more so when distinguishing rushed, heavy footsteps amongst the commotion.
Walking deeper into the living quarters, they eventually see a group of staff members gathering in the hallways, who were carrying two large boxes as they walk towards one of the rooms and stop just outside the door—coincidentally, yours.
“What is going on?” you’re the first to ask when they put down the cardboard boxes outside your room. Unable to figure out by a mere glance, the first thing that comes to mind is that the Zen’in finally grew tired of your presence and decided to gather your things and kick you out—although by Naobito’s threat, you doubt that’s the reality…
Or maybe they’re transporting something and decided to take a small break, completely unrelated to why they were standing out your room.
… But they’ve been there for a while now… so that couldn’t be it either.
You’re back to the starting point, with a mystery that appeared to make less and less the longer they stared, keeping you and your staff at edge.
Eventually your group decides to walk towards the men, where one of them was seemingly dusting off a layer of dirt from the top of the box, with the intention of getting an explanation.
Mariya had her doubts when watching them from afar, but now that they’re close she’s able to recognize one of them as none other than Tatsuro himself.
Knowing well to keep her relationship with him as neutral and unsuspecting as possible, Mariya throws the following inquiry into the air for whoever desired to respond.
“What is the meaning of these boxes?” Your prime lady-in-waiting asks, eyes darting from the box before them.
Tatsuro is the one that ends up responding either way.
“It’s a delivery for Lady Y/N”
Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi raise their eyebrows out of surprise—but you… your heart jumps out of excitement instead.
“Delivery?” you breathe “For… me?”
If so, this could mean that Hinata… that she finally responded?
You try to not show your elation… something that is easily achievable when remembering that your sister would never make her contact that obvious.
Had it been the case, you more likely than not would've heard of it from someone else first… if ever at all, since you were supposed to be under the harsh isolation.
So if not her… then who?
“From whom?” Mariya asks what’s troubling you. “Who signed it?”
“It doesn’t say” Tatsuro responds, his face lamenting he doesn’t have any more information, she tries to reassure him it’s fine. “All that we know is that it’s under her name, and that the post service delivered it to us a few hours ago, but we weren’t able to deliver it until right now” Tatsuro then turns to you “We first have to get clearance before delivering any packages to the recipients, it’s a measure imposed to ensure the safety of all members. I apologize for the tardiness if this was something urgent.”
“No, it’s fine” you say, gently shaking your head. “I… wasn’t even aware I was to get something.”
Haruko and Hitomi look at each other at the notion, before glancing at Mariya— curiosity and concern evident on their faces.
Well, they could at least relax when it came to danger, assuming no threat was to come from the box since they passed the filters, but then… What exactly was inside the box?
“If there’s nothing more I can help you with, we’ll be going back to our posts” He says, and you nod, a gesture that serves as permission to do just that.
Tatsuro rounds up the rest of his fellow coworkers, bowing to you, and giving Mariya a quick glance, before departing, leaving nothing but the elephant in the room and the overwhelming debacle of whether to acknowledge it or not.
“It’s truly under your name” Hitomi says once stepping closer to the box and getting a better look at the shipping label. “But it also doesn’t say who sent it—at least not directly.”
“What does it say?” Haruko asks, peeking over her sister’s shoulder.
“Something about… storage, no, warehouse. I think”
“It’s from a store more likely” Mariya explains.“Does the name sound familiar to you?”
It’s now your turn to look over to the shipping label, walking over to Hitomi and glancing over her shoulder—you’re hoping to recognize it, get to the bottom of it, but unfortunately it doesn’t ring any bells.
“No” you shake your head, disappointed. “…What… could this mean?”
“I don’t know” Mariya truthfully speaks, equally disappointed that she hasn’t been able to figure it out yet. “There’s no other way to know but to open it”
“Are you sure? What if it’s something that.. well, that I shouldn’t open?” you counter, and she presses her lips together.
“We won’t know either way if we don’t do it—besides, it’s under your name… if it wasn’t intended to be seen by you, then why send it?” Mariya explains, and it makes sense—thus after slight reluctance, you proceed accordingly.
Cue her, Haruko, Hitomi carefully picking up the surprisingly heavy boxes, a fact that made all the women dart their eyes at each other out of surprise and confusion, while you opened the door and allowed them inside.
Their size makes your already small room appear even tinier, but you reassure yourself by thinking it’s only for the time being. Who knows, maybe the things inside the box are intended to be stored somewhere else, naturally, allowing you to regain the robbed space.
Either way, once everything and everyone was inside, the decisive moment was amongst your midst.
“Which one shall I start with…?” you ask—as if the order mattered at this point— while taking a seat on your futon.
“Maybe with that one?” Hitomi suggests, pointing to the box right in front of you. It seemed the easiest route for something you didn’t want to deal with, so you concur.
“I just need something to cut—oh” you blink, surprised by Mariya’s swiftness when giving you a cutter, taken right out of her pocket. You’d seem to have forgotten that she always carried an assortment of tools on her… just in case, as she’d say. And it seems you were the only one that knew that, judging by Haruko’s and Hitomi’s intrigued faces. “Thank you”
“Don’t mention it” she says, taking a seat next to you, the sisters doing the same but on the opposite side.
With nothing else to say, you proceed to carefully take out the protective cap from the cutter —Mariya storing it away— and pressing the knife in between the flaps and against the tape, steady enough to cut through it, and effectively tearing it open.
Your hands then move to pry open the box, eager eyes landing on the sight of layers upon layers of bubble wrap—whatever was inside, it was fragile. A notion that does nothing to ease your or your staff’s rising interest, and if anything, urges you to act faster.
Removing the protective layers from the top, it’s then revealed that the box was carrying an extensive selection of… thin books? No, something else…
It’s here that the group's opinions heavily deviate from one another.
While your staff were nothing less than intrigued when it came to figuring out what they were, and who was the sender… your blood slowly began to run cold as your mind fearfully began to realize exactly what they were.
But your definite conclusion doesn’t come along until your trembling hands pluck out one of the many thin sleeves from the box, pulling it out completely, before your heart sinks to your stomach, flinching and instinctively throwing the item away while frantically stepping back from the box when your eyes eventually landed on the recognizable cover on it.
Your reaction, alongside the echoing noise of the object crashing against the wall makes your staff immediately jolt to your aid, concerned faces, and supportive hands on your back as they fret.
“What’s wrong? What happened, are you ok, Y/N?” Mariya asks but you can’t seem to muster an explanation before lunging over to the box to verify all of its contents.
“What’s wrong, Y/N-chan?!” Haruko cries as she goes to pick up the item you throwed away—she glances at it, attempting to find something horrifying, dangerous, but unable to discover anything wrong.
Oh, but for you, that couldn’t be anything but wrong.
Why?
Because it had been nothing less than a vinyl, belonging to none other than to the Spice Girls.
The rest of the items inside the box were albums as well, ranging from studio albums, EP’s, live concerts, and even special editions exclusively released in other countries, pertaining to the Spice Girls, Dio, some of Michael Jackson, and even…. Super Junior.
All artists you mentioned the last time you spoke to Naoya.
You don’t know what to make out of this revelation, outside of the horror it engulfed you with, and the now false belief that this piece of your personal life was to remain in the past, alongside the embarrassment of the indulgence you’ve committed before him, never to be spoken of again.
But once again, you’re proven wrong when it comes to your expectations pertaining to him—no matter what you thought, what you wished, it was never bound to happen, evident by the unavoidable presence of the boxes, alongside the mysterious motive behind them.
“What are they?” Haruko asks as she takes another good look at them, Hitomi still trying to ease you down by gently caressing your back.
Their humble beginnings never gave them the opportunity to afford beyond the necessary, and by the time their interest for music began, cassettes (and eventually CDs) were in their way in, thus explaining their ignorance over the matter.
“Vinyl’s” Mariya says. “They’re… music albums, not really in circulation anymore, except for those that collect them”
“Albums?” Hitomi asks, finding the whole thing… confusing. If they were nothing more than simple music, then why did you react that way? “Who… did you—Did you buy them, Y/N?”
It’s a question they all knew had a negative answer, for you didn’t have the means to do so, but considering you hadn’t told them of what happened with Naoya the last time you were out, they had nowhere else to look.
You wished to avoid coming to this point, still suffering the shame of having disclosed something so personal to him, someone who clearly didn’t deserve this aspect of your intimacy—or any.
But now that the cat was out of the bag, as well as owing it to them to be truthful after everything they’ve done for you, you were influenced to speak.
“This—This is all related to the day I was out with Naoya”' You begin, and the women, as if they weren’t shocked enough by your reaction, freeze at his mention—with Hitomi’s face going sour while Haruko’s saddening.
Mariya was unquestionably confused as irked by this acknowledgement, yet… a bit relieved that it hadn't been Naoaki the one behind these supposed “gifts”.
Over and over again, your prime lady-in-waiting has declared that she’s not too fond of the relationship you had with him, only tolerating it because it seemed to bring the best of you; Nonetheless, she wasn’t appreciative of his gestures towards you because all they do is put you in a tight spot—and this would’ve done more than just that.
Fortunately it didn’t, and it seems that she could relax if only for a moment.
«It’s the lesser of two evils» Mariya thinks, as if attempting to reassure herself. «But it doesn’t make me any less angry that it occurred through Naoya’s will»
“You don’t have to tell us.” Mariya, noticing the gloomy, slightly teary look in your eyes, interjects.
“No… I think—I think I need to tell you” You say, turning to see her “I’ve been holding on to this for a while now and I… I don’t think I can keep it any longer.”
“What… happened?” Hitom asks, your lip trembles.
“After we went to the doctor, he decided he wanted to go eat. He was insisting that I eat too, but I refused everything. I didn’t want anything from him. However, that didn’t stop him from saying he wanted to do more things, such as looking around the city” you pause, pressing your lips together, swallowing “...after walking for a bit, we eventually stopped at a record store; at that moment I didn’t know why, but after this… I—I’m now sure he noticed when I looked up to it. Anyways… we ended up going inside. Naoya left me alone for a moment, I don’t know why, and I just… started looking around. I eventually bumped into the albums I used to see a lot around my house. Guess I was too focused on them to notice when he came back, but he started asking me about them and I…. I don’t know why, but I ended up telling him how much they meant to me—hell, I even told him how my parents met because they liked music, and what I liked to hear!”
Sensing your distress, Mariya wraps her arms around your shoulders, as if to tell you that everything is alright.
“You don’t know how regretful I’ve felt for doing that… for telling him that about my family… But I just… couldn’t stop myself—I wanted to… wanted to remember when my parents were still together, when my mom was still alive, when I was happy.” you eventually confess, pulling your hands up to your face and releasing out a wail.
As she tried to calm you down, Mariya was deep in disbelief. She couldn’t believe it— nor did she like where this was going — after weeks and weeks of making you suffer, he suddenly wants to be attentive with you? This had to be a joke.
There had to be another reason behind his actions — but what exactly?
“I didn’t think he’d remember” you sniveled. “He was very dismissive afterwards, like always, as if I were boring him!”
“And yet, here are the albums” Hitomi says, and you nod, tears falling down your cheeks.
Mariya has heard enough, enough to know exactly what to do—she just needed your permission.
“What do you want me to do with the boxes?” she asks.
“I don’t want to open the rest, and I don’t want to see them—I don’t care what you do, I don’t want them near my room.”
With that set, Mariya gestures over to Haruko and Hitomi who take less than a second to understand her silent command and get up to work.
“Go to the north wing of the estate, outside, and ask for Tatsuro” Mariya explains “He’s one of the staff members that delivered the boxes here. Tell him that you need to move them somewhere else—and tell him that I sent you, he’ll know exactly what to do.”
Hitomi and Haruko as they made their way to your door, but not before giving you a small reassurance smile as if trying to tell you they’ll handle it from this point forward, urgently heading to their new destination soon after.
Finally alone, with nothing more than the weight of your sorrow on your shoulders, and Mariya’s concern wrapped around you, you allow yourself to cry freely.
“Why—why is he doing this?” your voice cracks as you move deeper into Mariya’s embrace, she holds you tight. “Is he… is he trying to tease me?! Make fun of me?”
“I… don’t know” she answers truthfully—the always-knowing-Mariya is blank when it comes to him for the second time that day. She hates not having the answers for your sorrow, not being able to do much but give you a hug and let you cry.
“Why does he always have to taint everything that is precious to me?!” you condemned “Why can’t he just leave me alone?! Why—why me?!? Of all people, why did it have to be me?!”
Mariya presses her lips together, attempting to keep her own tears at bay, while pulling you closer to her, as if trying to swallow your pain.
“I just… I just want to be happy” you gasp “I want to go home; I want to be with my sister…. My brother…”
“I know, I know” she coos.
“… Guess I finally know what he was doing the second time he left.” you say “The thing he was shoving in his pocket, he probably bought the things right then and there.”
Mariya can’t say that your assumption didn’t go against what she initially thought of his gifts: that they were done in order to pull your attention back to him after you effectively ignored him once returning to the estate.
That wasn’t to be the case, however; Naoya had indeed bought the albums soon after the conversations ended. Just another layer of mystery added to your already troubled dilemma.
“What else happened after that?” she ponders carefully—Mariya knows you were already bottling lots of sentiments inside you, but she’d be damned if she allows you to carry even more burdens into your already heavy shoulders.
“… We went to another store, a candy store. The one where I got the sweets for you guys. Said he wanted to go because he knew I liked them.”
“How… what?” Mariya asks, fear invading her voice at the prospect of Naoya finding out the depths of your relationship with Naoaki—
Having gone through these same steps yourself, you proceed to clarify the situation.
“It’s because of the wedding. Because I—I ate two slices of cake, apparently enough evidence for him to assume I liked sweets” you murmur “I also thought he’d figured out the situation with Naoaki, but he hasn’t… or if he has, he hasn’t told me”
“I don’t think he has.” Mariya concurred. “I made extra sure to keep things hidden from him.”
“… thank you.”
“don’t mention it” she says, giving you a smile.
“But it still doesn’t make sense.” you frown. “All of it, everything—Why would he do that if it wasn’t to make fun of me? To mock what they mean to me? I thought he would forget about it, like he always does when I speak to him, but somehow this was the exception!”
“You won’t have to worry about that anymore” she says “We’ll keep them away from you. Out of sight, out of mind.”
“… Do you think he’ll approach me to ask about them?”
Mariya wishes to say no, but that would only be lying to you.
“I think he will, eventually. Particularly after being informed you’ve received them. Although I’m more worried by the fact that he hasn’t already.” He’s kept a close watch on you days before your second visit to the doctor, but after that, he kept away.
Why?
“…why can’t he just leave me alone?” you lament.
“Try not to think about it anymore” she soothes. “It’s being dealt with. The next time you come to your room those boxes are going to be gone, as if they were never here, and all that you’ll have to worry about is trying on Hitomi’s clothes”
“…I wish I could do more for all of you, for all the things you’ve done for me”
“Seeing you happy is enough for me”
“Then I’ve never been able to repay you”
“That’s not true… moments ago you were teasing me about Tatsuro!” she laughs, and her reaction makes you give her a weak smile. “I’m happy when you’re happy. Hitomi and Haruko too, they love to talk and spend time with you; there’s even moments where I have to reel them back into doing their job!
And don’t forget Mai and Maki too. They’re always looking for you whenever they can, even if their mother doesn’t want them to be that close to you. In fact, I dare to say that even Junko-san is getting to enjoy your company nowadays! That’s been more than enough payment if you ask me”
At her words, all you can do is sob.
“Oh, Y/N—”
“I’m—ah, I’m sorry you have to see me cry all the time!” you gasp, frantically wiping the tears out of your face “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I want to be happy for all of you too!”
“Take it easy, one day at a time” she smiles, squeezing you. “We don’t have to do anything else for today if you don’t want to—you’ve already completed most of your chores anyways, we can just stay here and rest”
“What about the pending one?”
“Eh, I’m sure I can make something up” she shrugs, and you sniff before chuckling.
“Then I guess I want to do that” you respond. “And try out Hitomi’s clothes, maybe take a nap after that.”
“I can arrange that.” Mariya grins. “Let’s wait for Tatsuro and the rest, I’m sure they’re already on their way here. And once that’s set I’ll get you something to drink so you can relax while you get ready for Hitomi”
And just as she said, footsteps were soon heard gathering outside your room, a quick knock on your door before it slid open, revealing the rest of your staff and Tatsuro’s entourage.
Mariya peels away from you so as to help them get the boxes out of your chambers as soon as possible, but her boyfriend halts her, telling her that it was their job to do… to which Mariya reluctantly agrees, more so after Tatsuro’s teasing smirk (to which she responded by rolling her eyes), gestures that did not go unnoticed to Hitomi, who has yet to place the pieces together, but is moving dangerously close to doing so the longer she ponders at them.
After the group quickly retrieved the boxes, they made way towards an unaccounted chamber, —the same one your yellow kimono from the first time you went to the doctor (the one you couldn’t even dare look at due to it’s painful significance) was stored in— and placed them there, never to be seen again.
The rest of your day proceeds accordingly, with you fitting on Hitomi’s newest kimono, which fits perfectly on you, a testament of her incredible skill, outside of a few small details to be fixed here and there—things she could easily handle—while Haruko shared with you all of the snacks she had stolen from the kitchen; apparently there were many new fresh ingredients delivered that morning, and she wanted to be the first one to try them all out.
Mariya would come back with tea that she assured would help you relax, easen a bit and enjoy this moment… Yet, her efforts alongside those of your staff would be for naught, for as much as you wanted to think of anything else but what had transpired, your mind kept pulling you back to the shocking sight of the albums before you, and how to overcome this obstacle.
You considered rushing to seek Naoaki out and tell him what happened, but you’d either miss him for he’s already on his way to work, or distract him from his responsibilities…
And you didn’t want to bother your ladies anymore than you already have… crying and lamenting yourself had become quite embarrassing for you, even though there were days that was all you could do…
Well, whatever your entangled sentiments held, there was one thing that remained persistent, and that was Naoya’s presence in your mind:
The moment you’d encounter him again, the excuse you’ll have for when it happens, and most of all, the intentions behind those gifts.
#series: first it hurts—#naoya zenin#naoya zen'in#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin x your#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader
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so i’ve had this fic idea swirl around in my head for the past few days and i don’t think i’m actually gonna write it but here’s the cliff notes version…oh and it’s a garashir fic btw…
it’s kinda going off this head cannon that i have where garak and bashir dated off and on for 3ish years and broke up for good a few months before they had to abandon the station to dominion control
i think we can kinda see that in early season 6, there’s still slight flirty banter but the vibe is off/different and then as they all come back to retake the station there’s a definite coldness coming from julian as he talks to garak
(i also think it’s funny that it takes julian a full year to even be interested in someone again)
but anyway…season 7 happens, sisko goes to live in the wormhole, miles and kieko go back to earth, kira is taking over command of the station, odo leaves to join the great link and suddenly its just julian and ezri and in a weird way julian feels left behind
but the thing that feels like more of a gut punch then any of his other friends leaving (i mean they are starfleet, julian knows crews can serve together for years and then be reassigned or people leave, that’s normal) is garak leaving the station to help rebuild cardassia
everything in him wants to follow garak onto that transport instead of waving lamely as he gets left behind
julian then becomes distant, going through the motions of his life without purpose
and finally he decides to burn his whole goddamn life to the ground because he just can’t take it anymore
he breaks up with ezri, leaves starfleet, and finds passage to cardassia. everyone thinks he’s gone crazy but this is the most rational julian has felt since accepting his original ds9 posting
then late one night garak hears a knock at his door
and who’s standing there in civilian clothing with two bags, one over each shoulder? yep! it’s julian!
garak is surprised but hides it well (obviously) and julian doesn’t even wait to be invited in, he just walks in and puts his bags down
garak can barely get out, it’s nice to see you doctor, before julian launches into a prepared speech about he’s waited long enough and he wants to be with garak and nothing else in the universe matters to him and he’s here to help in anyway he can to rebuild cardassia
garak’s only reaction is to quirk a little smug smile and ask where julian plans on staying
julian looks around garak’s home and says i think there’s enough room here for the both of us
garak smiles wider and says i think there probably is
and they live happily ever after…get married…have kids…miles even comes to cardassia to visit
fin
or something like that
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And now I'm having to stop after just one episode because I need to scream about things. More flails for @kedreeva
I think part of the reason I'm reacting so strongly to Stranger Things is that it's one of the first totally new to me things I've watched in a long time. Everything else has been adaptations, or new stories in the same series, stuff like that. But this has made me write. I haven't done that for ages. The words have refused to cooperate. But now I'm posting for the first time in forever, and it may not be perfect or consistent, but I don't care (which may be a first).
Anyway, my reactions to episode 5...
First things first, Hopper may be angry and focused on finding Will, but part of him is really enjoying sneaking into the lab.
Definitely got these vibes at the beginning of the episode. Because he has a Purpose again. Getting the feeling that he was doing well in the city police but when Sarah died he understandably fell apart. So he was given the relatively high ranking post of Chief for a small town, where he wasn't going to have to deal with much beyond petty theft and drunk and disorderly. And I bet he resented the implication that he was being pitied. Which would not have helped the drinking and other self destructive behaviours.
I am having a lot of Hopper feels. And Callaghan needs a slap. Many slaps. And Powell gets one for implying that MH problems are contagious.
Everyone knows a Lonnie. Smooth talking pricks who gaslight you, accuse you of being overemotional and irrational, claiming they just want to help. Arseholes, all of them.
Mr Clarke rocks once again. He is seriously the best. And Dustin gets his chance to shine this episode, he's mostly been comic relief so far, but we get to see just how smart he can be.
Poor poor El. Lucas has every right to be really angry with her, but she is dealing with so much trauma they have no way of comprehending, and she can't communicate it. She wants to help them, but she also wants to keep the first people to be nice to her safe, and you know, not go anywhere near the terrifying monster that she knows about.
Steve is being unfairly cute again. Turning up, accepting that his behaviour was out of line and apologising, asking after Barb, offering Nancy a few hours to pretend things are normal again, with a movie he knows she'll like... and then accepting her reasons for saying no? He's trying to be a better person for her and it's adorable. (And the singing to make her smile)
If I was searching for a monster in a forest after sunset (which would never happen because dark forests scare the hell out of me), and I found a clue, I would make more effort to find my searching partner before crawling into an icky tree hollow. Even if I'd had a fight with him. (And they both make valid points in said fight. Still two judgy, judgy teens though.) Nancy has not worked out she's in a horror story yet. Although the awful face splitting monster should be a fairly big clue now.
The moment where Hopper finally gives Joyce that validation, that she's RIGHT, that things are bad but she was right that that wasn't her son in the morgue, and some really weird shit is happening. So many emotions. All the emotions.
No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. These characters are so real, so believable. And I think things are about to get Bad. 'Goes to watch episode 6'
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Chain Love Language Headcanons
Masterlist
Self explanatory people!
This time I’ll dive a bit into what love languages the chain will be most inclined to exhibit to their loved ones.
First ones are the ones I personally headcanon and the second are the second result of taking this quiz in their stead.
Let’s go down the list!
Hyrule
I’ve talked about this already, multiple times actually, but oh well.
His biggest way to show his love for others is through Physical Touch.
Whether it’s a hand on the shoulder or an arm around you or hugs or hand holding- you name it- he’ll do it.
The next biggest thing would probably be Quality Time.
He doesn’t have a lot of friends and he has low enough confidence to almost expect to be brushed aside and forgotten- sometimes he tries to let it happen on purpose.
So take the time to listen to him and include him on things and be close to him.
He appreciates it when someone takes the time to pay attention to him and wants to do something with him even if it’s as simple as checking out an old cave or what shined in the distance.
Be his travel buddy, yeah?
Twilight
Twilights would be Acts of Service.
He likes to feel helpful and useful and knows that there’s a lot that he’s capable of doing so he might as well be the one to do it.
He doesn’t want the people he cares about to work too hard or struggle so he offers his assistance whenever he can. (Watch for this, he can be prone to double book himself and take on more than he can chew).
The next biggest thing would probably be Quality Time.
It’s special for him when he can be with someone he cares about and do something or nothing and just exist next to each other.
He like to listen to people when they talk about things and when they listen to him in return just because they want to- even if neither of you know or care about wat the other person is talking about.
Or even if you get to do something together, anything.
Fishing, horse back riding, strolling through Kakariko Village, hiking- just spend time with him.
Four
Four’s love language would be Acts of Service as well.
He’s a man who always has to have his hands moving. He’s always doing something- he always has to be productive- he has to always be making something.
So he’s quick to put himself to work so that the people he cares about don’t have much to worry about. His brain works too fast for him to keep up with some stuff and he naturally shoulders a lot of work anyway. And if someone helps him out with a project he was struggling with of with the chores around the house that he wasn’t to attend to?
Well he’s bound to repay you tenfold.
He doesn’t make the rules just abides by them.
The next biggest thing would probably be Gift Giving/Receiving.
If this boy receives gifts of any kind he’s going to treasure them forever.
It’s going to go on display (if it can).
and since he’s always on the move with his projects, he’s going to constantly be making things for his friends and loved ones. Small things, big things, things they need to work with or repairing their tools and so on- or just getting them new ones all together- you name it.
Legend
Legend’s love language I think would fit best under Quality Time.
He doesn’t have a lot of friends, he doesn’t have a lot of family.
His whole life has been making connections and losing them either through circumstance or through the passage of time- his life has been nothing but goodbyes.
He cherishes the moments he gets to spend with the people he cares about.
Please spend time with him.
His second would probably be Words of Affirmation.
Similarly with the first one, he’s used to being on a deadline, a set amount of time he can spend with a person and he’s tired of getting to the end and looking back and wishing he could have said something different and or told them something else.
He’s quiet when he tells others that he cares about them- he’s got a large pride that keep him from screaming from the rooftops, but he appreciates it when he’s told that people care about him.
He gets in his head that he’s not good enough, that people don’t care and he’s going to be on his own time and time again.
Please tell him you love him and care about him.
He doesn’t have any one to tell him that they’re proud of him.
If he says that he cares about you, he means it.
Wild
Wild’s love language would probably be Words of Affirmation.
A lot of people write him as being the quietest of the group but hear me out.
He still communicates and he’s loves so much, and he’s not going to be silenced anymore in what he thinks either through sign or his voice.
He’ll tell others he loves then, cares about them, that he’d do anything for them and he’d tell them often.
It means more to him if others tell him something of equal of greater value.
He didn’t get to hear a lot of praise and acceptance growing up and even less so when he joined the guard. It was always things he was expected to do and he had to do it without complaint.
Let him know you care.
His second love language would probably be Quality Time.
He’s spent a lot of time on his adventure alone.
And he wants to share the so much of the world he got to experience with the people he cares about.
He’s lost a lot of people close to him as well and he doesn’t want to take anyone else’s time on earth for granted. It once seemed like they would be around him forever, but now?
He wants to do everything and see everything and he wants to show you as well.
Even if it’s a simply as horseback riding together or just chilling out as it rains- or he goes to catch frogs in the river, he just wants to spend time with the people he cares about, he happens to have a lot of it now so he wants to put it to good use.
Time
Time’s love language would be Receiving/Giving Gifts.
He didn’t get a lot of things for himself as a child and the things that were given to him were of high importance.
It was ingrained in him to cherish and protect the things given to him with his life if need be. He’s more appreciative of the little things though when people give him a small gift that reminded them of him.
Smaller gifts over one large is more his speed.
He doesn’t need much to be happy but he likes giving things to others as a way of showing his love and hoping that they’ll cherish them as much as he cherishes the things he receives.
His second love language would probably be Acts of Service.
He’s always felt the need to be useful and there’s little that he can do.
Besides his time and energy is another way to give someone a gift right?
Even if it’s not the physical sense where he would have close to nothing to actually give you, he might as well give his strength and body and power to those he loves, to protect them, to make sure they’re safe and warm and never needing anything- so that they’re never without.
Don’t let him over work himself because he will.
Warrior
Warrior’s love language would be Act of Service.
He has a weird relationship with it though.
Because it’s always with underlying feeling of still not being enough- there’s more for him to do, everyone is relying on him and he can’t fail his loved ones so he has to give it his all in everything.
He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it more than have the time so you’re going to have to tell him to calm down. He just everyone he loves to be safe and happy and healthy and it ends up running him ragged half the time.
That being said, his second love language is Words of Affirmation.
Because he’s working so hard for the people he loves, he would rather hear that they’re proud of him and that they love him.
He’s quick to sprout pet names and sweet nothings to his lover and he wants them to know that he cares about them so this guy doesn’t shut up about his love ever.
He’d leave a note for them to find their work place to let them know that he cares about them.
And he tells them daily.
He’s quick to tell people how much he appreciates them and how important they are to him.
He knows it keeps people going and he never wants to see his loved ones give up.
Wind
Wind’s love language would be Physical Touch.
He’s always hugging someone or holding onto their arms or their hands, it’s just how he like to be close to people.
His sister tends to grab onto his hand at random intervals so he’s used to it and even grows into doing it to other people.
It’s how he shows that he feels safe with people and how he wants to keep those he cares about within reach in case he ever needs to protect them.
His second love language would be Quality Time.
There’s not a whole of people out on the sea and he’s spend a good portion of his adventures traveling alone and even then, it’s just him, his grandma and his sister.
With everyone going out to do their own thing, it’s hard to find someone who will take the time to do things with him so he appreciate any and every bit of attention he can get from other people.
Sky
Sky’s love language would be Receiving/Giving Gifts.
People on Skyloft are not shy about showing affection for one another.
Handholding and hugs and just telling people you’re important to them are all common place.
It’s not a big deal.
But Sky like to go the extra step beyond to give the people he cares about a small token of his love, so that even when he’s not around to say it, or show it, it’s a little reminder that he cares about them.
And yes, this implies he’d little love notes around for his love to find just because he wants to.
His second love language would be Quality Time.
He just likes being around people and it’s the time when he can tell and show people that he care about them.
It’s the time where he can say he cares and hug the people he cares about- they don’t even have to be doing anything- for all they could be doing is going flying together as the sun sets- he lives for the little moments.
Definitely the kind of guy to be up in the kitchen at 3 am, slow dancing with his lover as they take a break from making cookies.
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#linked universe x reader#it doesn't have to be x reader but i'm tagging it that way too
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SIX-SENTENCE SUNDAY
Hi!
Man, I've been having a really hard time sharing the past few weeks...I just can't get my brain out of this dark arena it's trapped in...hence Baz being a sad sack on my last share (the sun as Simon)...but I'm just gonna suck it up and grab a bit from my wip and post it bc I really need to break the seal and get back in the game here. It's NSFW bc that's how we do, that's what I'm working through and it's what Simon and Baz are working with (very happily).
Just a little meta thought here on PWP, something that's been on my mind...Smutty scenes may not always have a lot of plot...but they always have PURPOSE for me. There is an emotional depth that Simon and Baz are reaching for...a place they are reaching toward, of deeper closeness, love, support. Not every *moment* has to be that...but overall...the meeting of them together in physical closeness creates something that is more than the sum of its *physical* parts. Whether it's soft and tender or rough and boundary pushing. And I get that from *everyone's* PWP...like even if the purpose is just FUN. There is so much value in that. For Simon and Baz and for the reader (at least if the reader is yours truly 😄) Just wanted to assure anyone who like feels weird or embarrassed or like deprecating about their fic being PWP. Anyway...I don't know why I'm writing a book here...didn't mean for this to be a journal entry 🙄.
Ok, I don't know...here's a grab from the EGF fic that is just plugging along over here.
Simon and Baz have switched some power dynamics throughout this fic...NSFW below the cut.
******
BAZ
“Did you think you were in control, here? Hmm? Did you think you could control me?”
He shakes his head. “No. No.”
“Don’t lie to me, Simon.”
He swallows and steels his jaw. “...Yeah. Yeah I did.”
“And what do you think now, Simon?”
He gets a glint in his eye and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t take on his battle stance even with my cock buried deep inside him.
“…I think…I think you’re just as desperate to fuck me as I am to get fucked by you.”
I can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes my lips. “You’re a bit of a mouthy bastard aren’t you, Snow?”
“I thought you liked that about me.”
“Oh, I do. I do,” I say, lowering my voice, leaning down closer to his face. “It’s going to make it all the more satisfying when I fuck you till you can’t form words.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Absolutely.”
I pull back and thrust into him hard, making him cry out, his back arching and head falling back.
He’s panting now. “Oh, shit, shit…fuck...” He takes a few breaths, his chest heaving. “... good effort babe…but I’m still talkin’,” he laughs.
Crowley, I love that grin. I can’t help but smile back at this idiot…always challenging me. “You are, aren’t you—well, let’s fix that.”
******
One last thing...inspired to share this particular part above after reading @kherub EXCELLENT fic "Take a Picture". They also have a line about fucking Simon until he loses the ability to talk properly 😆 but my god they did it in SUCH a great way. This fic is SO GOOD. Go read it if you haven't!
Good grief, thanks for sticking with me here. ❤️
Thanks for the tags over the past week all of you lovely amazing creatives! Right back at ya. @bookish-bogwitch @fatalfangirl @gekkoinapeartree @facewithoutheart @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @martsonmars @palimpsessed @mrskrementz @cutestkilla @frjsti @confused-bi-queer @kherub @theotherhufflepuff @whatevertheweather @aristocratic-otter @johnwgrey @takitalks @creepyspice @angelsfalling16 and literally everyone else in this fandom. <3
#my fic#my writing#snowbaz#egf2022#I laugh every damn time I put that egf tag...#what even is time or deadlines#ya know?#Bl**dy Perfect
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Demigod MC Series: Hermes
Hey guys, still doing what I can to stay healthy (and entertained) in quarantine. Staying still, keeping calm, and trying not to exert myself too much because of the shortness of breath thing going on. My lungs just can't get enough air it seems… 😅 Anyway, I've gotten a lot of suggestions on this series and I'm excited to keep it going. Just going to be a tad slow until I'm feeling better. Thank you for the support, y'all!
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes
Lucifer
Oh no… it’s everyone’s worst nightmare… Another Mammon, but competent. Devil help us all…
Had he known who their father was, he'd have never assigned Mammon to watch over them. Hell, he would have made sure those two never even met. They became a new handful for him to manage from the day they first arrived…
When even more things started going missing around the House than normal, he knew he had made a grave mistake… They were clever, quick, and skilled. About the best WORST combination for a burglar to be…
Worse still, they were fast on their feet. He would pretty much have no way to nab them on foot and always had to resort to his wings or magic to have any hope of catching up to them… At least Mammon usually gets himself cornered!
But, paradoxically, he also came to notice that the mortal had an odd honesty streak to them... Like, they’d steal but they’d always admit to it, unlike Mammon who would try to deflect till he was blue in the face.
Were they proud of their work, maybe? Or just didn’t see the point in trying to get away with it...?
There would be several occasions where they’d take something, sell it with Mammon, and then steal the thing back later just to put it back where it belonged, seemingly never with Mammon’s permission to do so either…
Is it better that they returned the stolen item or worse because their actions went from just robbery to a full-on scam? Either way, it gives him headaches trying to deal with it…
He pretty much gives up getting the mortal to stop after 6 months, they are legitimately that good, but makes them swear to always put back whatever they take at some point. It seems to work out and he lets more things slide, but please someone get them out of here soon…
Mammon
Soulmatesoulmatesoulmatesoulmate, or maybe more accurately “Partner-in-Crime” but that means pretty much the same thing to him anyway. 🤷♀️
He’s never met a person better at thievery than they were. The day they met, they managed to pick his pockets without breaking a sweat (or a finger) and that was it. He was in love.
They could teleport! Actually teleport!! Suddenly, NOTHING was off limits to him any more! Lucifer’s rare records? Easy. Levi’s secret safe? Cakewalk. The Castle vault?? Child’s play!! It was like they could steal anything they put their mind to!!
He didn't even have to worry about them when they made getaways because they were fast too, the two actually have parkour races through the streets for the hell of it!
On top of all that, they were wicked creative. He’d come up with a money-making scheme then they’d offer him all sorts of little tricks to help get away with it...
HE’D have never realized that they could turn themselves into rats in order to frighten and sneak past Barbatos, but they thought of it the instant they heard of his fear of things. They're a mad genius!!
The only real downside was they seemed to like stealing for the sport of it instead of for the money… so they always steal back whatever they took.
That kind of defeats the purpose of all that work in the first place, right? Ah well, at least that's more money for him.
These two pretty much became a walking menace to Devildom society- Sorry, not sorry.
Leviathan
Not another Mammon!!! WHY?! What did he do to deserve this?!?
When he started noticing that EVEN MORE of his stuff was going missing than usual, he straight-up flipped! Like, had the mortal not been pretty tough in their own right they would have been Lotan-chow. End of discussion.
… And then they started using their powers for good? Kind of?
Like, first off they would always give back what they stole, which was a nice change from Mammon. Annoying, but at least he didn't have to go buy replacement games or anything…
And then they started stealing him limited edition merch or tickets and stuff because they… liked him?? He guessed???
Why else would they go to all the trouble of swiping one of the five ultra-rare Kitsune Ruri-chan figurines from its original collector? He would have had to pay Mammon half his tail for something like that but the MC just brought it to him one morning because they could!
Is… is this love? Has he grown to love that which he hates?! What is even happening anymore!?! Who is he?!? 😫
Eventually he has to reconcile his conflicted feelings by dubbing them the real life Peony Phantom Thief, Jane and even making them a cosplay. Yes, they have to wear it when they bring him things. No, it's not weird, shut up.
Satan
He wants to be irritated, no - furious, that they keep taking his stuff… But he’ll be damned if they aren’t making Lucifer’s life a living hell right now. 😏
He's honestly not even sure how they managed to swipe half of the priceless portraits in the Castle (a considerable feat since there's one for Every. Room.) but they pulled it off in under a week. Barbs didn't even notice the replicas…
If that's not mildly terrifying, he doesn't know what is. Who knows what things he could be missing at any given moment...?
At least the mortal had the good sense to return his things, unlike Mammon, which gets them off his shit list for the most part. 🤷♀️
It helps that they’re also impressively well-traveled. They claim to have been across every human continent and sailed every ocean. Though he was skeptical at first, just hearing their stories eventually convinced him.
What sort of person has sailed the Amazon River, hiked through Arctic tundra, seen every major capital city, and still had time to explore the sights of the French Riviera?
One that has magical teleportation powers apparently.
Frankly, he could listen to their stories of the human world all day and still ask for another. He's told them that they may as well just write a book of their own for him at some point, it'd be beneficial to their poor vocal chords.
Asmodeus
Ugh! Really? Another thief in the House?? Wasn’t one hard enough to deal with?!
Honestly, stolen beauty products aren't exactly something you can just sell or give back, so unfortunately a lot of Asmo's clothes/accessories get targeted and he is NOT happy about it...
Around the time his favorite scarf was stolen for the third time, he was about to gut the mortal himself, but they struck a deal with him. They could nab his clothes SO LONG as they returned them with an extra little "gift."
Jewelry, perfume, creams, nail polish, etc. Asmo kept a running list and pretty much treated his thieving friend like a less moral version of Akuzon. Whatever he asked for, no matter how rare or expensive, they always got their hands on so who was he to complain?
He once decided to test them by asking for the Hope Diamond - which they got for him - but he made them return it after a week after the curse on it made him ruin a particularly intricate manicure so…
Like Satan, he's also pretty impressed with all the places they've seen. He's pretty traveled in the human world himself so they exchange travel stories all the time!
He may bother them to him out traveling from time to time. There are so many gorgeous and romantic places to visit in the human world after all, it's not like anybody could stop them from just… popping in to have a look. Right? 😏
Beelzebub
They learned very quickly that his food is absolutely off limits and after that, they were good.
Seriously. Beel caught them once trying to swipe a piece of pizza from his dinner and he nearly ripped their arm off for it…
But on the flipside, he also knows that he can go to them if he REALLY needs a snack and is short on cash.
It's pretty comical watching the fleet-foot mortal running from angry demon vendors with a basket of stolen apples for their buddy… But he appreciates their enthusiasm! 🙂
Beel actually likes to hear about their travels too, but mostly what they've eaten. They can keep him enraptured for hours by describing all the food they've come across in the human world…
Watch out for the drool, though.
Since they can teleport, they'll sometimes pop up with a human world treat for him and the man internally swears his undying love for them every time...
Outwardly, though, he just smiles. 'Cause he's a sweetie.
Belphegor
They… they opened the attic door on, like, the first day they met… They didn’t even make it look that hard, they had some kind of knack for breaking and entering…
Seriously, imagine the look on his face when they just walk into the attic to say hello… He had this whole, “Lure and Trick the Human” plan all thought out then they pulled out a magic lockpick or something and BOOM! Freedom!
He laughed, perhaps a little closer to the edge of sanity than he was intending, and he tried to attack them but they were so damn fast he couldn't land a single hit!
Damn was it embarrassing when the others came in…
MC: "LUCIFER! LUCIFER!! There's a monster in your attic!!!"
Lucifer: "That's not a monster that's my brother!!"
MC: *stops midway through kneeing Belphie in the stomach* …. Ooooooooh!
MC: Whoops.
It was a… rocky start.
After they settled their differences quelled Belphie's bloodlust he found that they kind of grew on him rather quickly… Something about that mischievous energy and how much they gave his brothers (minus Beel) grief with it.
He absolutely helps them with their plans if it will annoy Lucifer in any way. Occasionally, they'll even take Belphie out on raids instead of Mammon.
Turns out he's surprisingly good at distractions because all he has to do is pretend to fall then take a nap. People around him will legitimately believe that he needs medical attention so the MC can sneak through crowds undetected...
Of course, Mammon gets PISSED when they do this, though. How dare his baby brother try to steal away his perfect partner!! Get your own damn mortal, Belphie!!! 🤬
#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#obey me demigods
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What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?
Oh boy.
Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.
For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.
Welp, there's a lot to consider here.
First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.
Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.
What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.
The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.
Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.
Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.
I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.
Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...
Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.
And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".
He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).
I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.
Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?
Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.
Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.
Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.
I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.
I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.
Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?
Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.
Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”
No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.
Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.
Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.
I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.
Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.
Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition.
This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.
For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.
Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.
Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.
Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.
The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.
Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.
(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)
Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.
But hey, we aren’t dead.
Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).
Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.
What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.
If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.
Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.
I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).
Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.
Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.
TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.
#harry potter#harry potter meta#harry potter headcanon#tom riddle#albus dumbledore#anti albus dumbledore#meta#headcanon#opinion
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If you're accepting non-superhell prompts, I'd love to see a conversation between Nora and Emerald! I've been REALLY loving these microfics, I've subscribed to you on Ao3, I'll read whatever else you write
[Gahhh that’s so nice you’re so nice!! thanks for being patient on this one, finding my Nora took some doing]
It’s occurring to Emerald that she’s never had a close female friend before.
You say that like you’ve ever had any friends before, the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Mercury needles her, but she brushes it aside. Like—okay, yeah, she’ll concede the point when it comes to Cinder. In hindsight, whatever they’d had going on between them may have been... super intense... but it probably had never been friendship, in the usual definition. But she and Mercury were friends, no matter what the judgy little shitstain version of him who lives in her head has to say about it. They’d always gotten along. Told each other stuff. It’s not like there’s more to it than that, right?
It had always been like that. Been—instinctive somehow, with guys. Before Cinder, on the street, it was always the men who’d been easiest to manipulate; who would empty their pockets for a smile and a sob story. And then she and Merc had been two sides of the same coin for so long, and then... well, Hazel’d liked her enough to die for her, apparently. (Which—that’s a door that she keeps closed, thanks. She shuts it firmly again, now.) Oscar seems fond of her, in a sweet, uncomplicated sort of way that she really doesn’t know what to do with, seeing as he shares headspace with like a trillion year old man and the idea that anything to do with that kid could be “uncomplicated” is batshit. Ren vouched for her once, and then again, and now he keeps doing it, like it’s habit, like she should just be used to the fact that people are going to have her back, to ask her if she’s eaten, to turn to her with a raised eyebrow in conversation like her opinion would be constructive.
Anyway.
Now that she’s noticed the pattern, it seems like the kind of thing she should probably… work on, or whatever. And Nora seems like an obvious place for Emerald to start. They’ve been thrown in together a lot, lately, Emerald and Oscar expected to fill in the gaps of what’s left of the old JNPR by default. Not that they’ve ever really had a conversation about it—Emerald can’t think of the last time Nora said two words to her that weren’t combat warnings like “more Grimm coming” or “on your left,” but. That’s probably just because things have been tense. She remembers Nora being friendly, on the whole of it. Off-puttingly friendly, even, back at Beacon.
How hard could it be?
The answer, it turns out, is absurdly hard. Nora’s barely ever in the temporary barracks they’re all living out of, instead always checking on the refugees, going on supply runs over esoteric requests, volunteering for extra patrols. Emerald used to find that kind of dogged do-goodery gag-inducing, but now that she’s been the helping hand herself a few times, she’s starting to see the appeal. The way people look at you when you’ve been of service, it’s—nice. Really nice. But Nora works utterly thankless jobs, the kind most people don’t even notice, let alone appreciate. And when they have their insufferably long leadership meetings and they’re talking about distribution of resources or whatever, Nora’s a fierce debater—jumping in to advocate for the people from Mantle sometimes even before May can. As far as Emerald can tell, she does this stuff just because... she believes in it. Because it’s the right thing to do, and someone has to.
She can’t imagine what it would feel like, to have the attention of someone like that turned on her. She’s craved it from the wrong people for so long, but now that she has her pick of options... she’s letting herself actually want the right kind, for once. She thinks.
Which is all to say that largely through no fault of her own, Emerald unexpectedly finds herself sitting with a profound, fervent desire for Nora Valkyrie to think she’s cool.
She hates that.
-
Fighting with Nora is easy.
(—er. Alongside. Fighting alongside Nora is easy. Emerald’s done fighting with these people. Very done.)
It’s weird, because Emerald’s finding working with a full team to be a real adjustment. When battles get big enough to merit it, she’s used to keeping to the sidelines to use her Semblance for nefarious purposes, or, in a jam, used to having Mercury’s six—literally, because all the forward momentum from his feet-first style always left his back wide open. Figuring out where to put herself so that Oscar can use her shoulder as a fulcrum as he dodges, or trying to aim for the Grimm Ren isn’t already shooting (ugh)—it’s taking work.
But somehow, it’s not work for Nora. Nora seems to anticipate with perfect ease how Emerald will move or what she’ll be doing; Nora bobs and weaves around their ragtag little band with her war hammer like it’s breathing.
It doesn’t bother Emerald until it does, and she means to bring it up casually but there’s never a good time. So it just… stews, and stews, until she can’t keep it bottled up anymore.
Which means that instead of the earnest question she intends it to be, it comes out like this:
“Okay, seriously? It’s creepy how you do that.”
It’s just the two of them, plus the handful of dweeby Atlesian tech-types they’re escorting back from their foray installing some fancy hydro-filtration modules on the outskirts of the camp. And it’s not like Emerald had felt outmatched by the half-dozen Ravagers that had decided they looked like lunch—she can shoot Ravagers in her sleep, at this point—but still. The way Nora had moved around her, it was like they’d been fighting side by side for years.
Nora just cocks her head to the side. “Do what?” she asks, like she hadn’t just basically read Emerald’s mind in front of the water nerds.
Emerald does a complicated gesture with her hands, wrist over wrist, and then flicking two fingers—trying to evoke the way Nora had flipped over Emerald’s back and then kicked off, just trusting Emerald would reel her back in with a chain in midair before a Grimm could fly away with her sorry ass. “That.”
“Oh!” Nora laughs and rubs at the back of her neck, looking sheepish. “It’s nothing. I guess it’s just not a big deal for me? Like—I was there when Ren built StormFlower. The cables are newish, but we practiced so much back in Atlas… I dunno. It’s just reflex, when your weapons are so similar. Fighting with you, it’s almost like fighting with him. I don’t even have to think about it.”
Nora swallows, then, and makes a face Emerald can’t interpret—disappointed, maybe, or ashamed. Which: good. She probably should be, taking things for granted like that.
“Well—just—” Emerald’s not even sure what she wants to say. Ask, next time? Don’t? “You shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m not your boyfriend, okay?”
The venom she puts behind the word is directed more at herself than Nora—frustrated, again, that she’s put herself in the position of wanting so desperately to be liked.
Pathetic.
Nora just nods, looking glum.
“Yeah,” she murmurs, cheeks pulling in a bitter smile. “You’d think I’d be able to keep that one straight, huh?”
She says it with such pointed irony that for a second Emerald wonders if she’d gotten it wrong somehow, but like—Nora and Ren are a thing, right? That’s—everyone knows that.
“Hey, what—?”
“Let’s just go,” Nora says, and Emerald automatically falls into line behind her.
They make the rest of the walk back in silence.
-
Sometimes at night, when she can’t sleep, Emerald likes to climb up to the roof of the barracks and look out over the refugee camp.
It’s—peaceful, is all. A good reminder of where she is; how far she’s come. The night sky in Vacuo has more stars than she’s ever seen, and being able to watch over all these people who have somehow become her responsibility… well.
A part of her will always be standing on the rooftop at Beacon, looking down on pure chaos as a queasy, frightened sensation twists in her gut and its noxious voice whispers you did this, you did this, you did this. What did you think was going to happen, you stupid little girl? You don’t get to feel sorry for it now.
But she does.
Weird how the only thing that’s helped is actually doing something about it.
She hears a scuffling noise over her shoulder, and she’s got Thief’s Respite drawn and ready before she can even really register what she’s heard. She relaxes when she sees it’s Nora at the other end of the barrels, unarmed and hands raised—a funny little smile on her face, like yeah, fair enough, I should have known better than to try and sneak up.
“Just me,” she says, unnecessarily.
Emerald holsters her guns. “Can I help you?” she asks, and—what is it about her voice, that makes sentences that would be nice if any other human said them come out straight-up hostile?
Nora shrugs, hands dropping to her sides. “I was hoping we could talk; I figured you’d come up here if I waited long enough.”
Well, see—what kind of lesson is she supposed to take from that? She’s been hoping for Nora to talk to her for weeks, and acting like a bitch is the thing that gets her what she wants? Good guys are supposed to know better.
And there’s the way she said it, too. Like everyone knows Emerald comes up here to brood; like it’s a big open secret. The knowledge sits uncomfortably in her stomach, makes her feel watched. Even now, even here, she can’t get a moment alone. Not really.
“What, so you’re spying on me now?”
Nora’s eyes narrow. “I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to losing people. Makes a girl want to put in a little hustle when it comes to keeping tabs on her friends.”
And Emerald would snark at that, or maybe apologize, or something, only—
Nora thinks they’re friends?
“Well, take a seat, I guess,” she mumbles, scooching to the side as though she needs to make room on the massive, empty roof.
Nora walks over and joins Emerald on the asphalt, letting her legs dangle over the edge. Seemingly unsure of where to start, she stares at her hands. Emerald stares too, but her eyes can’t help but wander—tracing the way scars, silvery in the moonlight, spiderweb up Nora’s bare wrists and forearms to fetter her shoulders, clavicle, neck. Like cracks in a pane of glass, right before it shatters.
(Only that’s not it at all, is it? It’s not a sign of weakness, but a warning of strength. I care this much, her scars announce to the word. You wanna try me?
Hazel’s arms always looked like that.)
Emerald doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, sure that whatever she’d say would be incredibly stupid.
Luckily, Nora has no such qualms, and opens with: “I really admire you, you know?”
Emerald stares, jaw slack, certain she’s heard wrong. “I—what?” She’d say something defensive, like yeah right or you don’t have to make fun of me, only Nora’s eyes are so wide and so guileless they don’t leave any room for argument.
“I mean it,” Nora adds. “I know we don’t know all that much about each other, but… here’s what I do know: I can’t remember a time I saw you without Mercury right behind. Just like me’n Ren. And the way you fought for Cinder…” Nora smiles a sad, private little smile. “You don’t fight like that unless it’s personal; unless someone means something to you. Just like me’n Ren. And now you’re here. All on your own. And you didn’t have to be. That’s—don’t you think that’s crazy brave? I sure do.”
Of course she fucking doesn’t. Crazy brave would have been walking away the first, tenth, hundredth time she had a flash of panic about what she was doing. Or, better yet, doing something about it. Crazy brave is taking thirty thousand volts to get to your friends; it’s flooding your veins with pure crystalline power and saying Go, I’m doing what Gretchen would have done, it’s—
She closes that door.
“It’s not like I really had a choice,” she sighs, dodging the question.
“Oh, you know that’s not true,” Nora scoffs dismissively, tilting sideways to nudge Emerald with her shoulder.
And Emerald jolts, because—look, it’s not like no one touches her. They have to manhandle each other all the time in battle, and… and Oscar gives her high fives sometimes, which makes her embarrassingly pleased. But what Nora’s offering now, that kind of buddy-buddy casual contact…
… it’s been a while, is all.
“So, why did you want to talk to me?” Emerald asks, overwhelmed and suddenly desperate to find a way to get this conversation over with. She feels like she’s sprinted five miles; like she’s had the crap kicked out of her and she has to go somewhere to lick her wounds. Too much, too fast.
Nora laughs—a chuffing, cynical noise that doesn’t sound at all like her. “Looking for pointers? See, I’m trying this thing where I do things on my own, but I just—I suck at it. Like today; you saw. Even when I’m not with Ren, all I do is… is act exactly the same way I do when I’m with Ren. Like I literally don’t know how to exist without him, whether he’s actually there or not. And I know that’s not fair to anyone; I didn’t mean to treat you like—” She shakes her head, biting her lip. “You’re not just some stand-in. It’s not you at all. I’m just—broken, or something. One trick pony.”
“No, hey—”
“But you figured it out,” she barrels on, which is good, because Emerald doesn’t actually have a clue what she would have said there. “You don’t have anyone and somehow you’re just, like—good to go!” Nora says it cheerily, like it’s a compliment, but has the grace to balk a little when she hears how it sounds. “…sorry. That’s—sorry.”
Emerald shrugs, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin there. She feels like an idiot; building it up for weeks like spending time with Nora would solve all her problems when, surprise surprise, Nora’s just as fucked up as she is.
“Hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have any hot tips,” she mutters into the crooks of her elbows. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Like—you want to know the really sad part? I was just following your lead.”
“My…?” Nora can’t even finish repeating it, which: Emerald can’t blame her. It’s so dumb. “Huh?”
“Come on. You know.”
“I don’t,” Nora says, voice thick with exhaustion. Like she’s sick of herself. “Ask anyone—I’m not the brains of the operation.”
Hearing Nora talk about herself that way makes Emerald’s chest feel tight; like her ribs have locked in place so her lungs can’t expand. She doesn’t know how to explain it; not without sounding like a starry-eyed fangirl or a moron with a crush and that’s not what this—it’s only that—
She chooses to start a different way.
“You wanna know why I switched sides? Like, really why?”
Nora softens, and reaches out to touch the back of Emerald’s left hand, where it dangles over her knee. “Sure,” she says, but Emerald barely hears it; it’s taking all of her concentration not to clench her fist or pull away in response.
“I overheard Oscar—or, Ozpin, I guess, I don’t know—talking to Hazel about Salem, about her goals. And… listen. No one joins under Salem because they’re trying to kill the world, okay? I mean, no one but Tyrian, anyway. We were all just trying to… find ways to get by. And when Cinder found me, she—” Emerald swallows, hard. This cuts too deep, too close. It’s not something she can just say. “I wasn’t trying to be some big villain, or something. I was just—looking out for the people who were looking out for me. And why wouldn’t I? No one else ever seemed to think I was worth it.”
“Of course you are,” Nora cuts in, quiet but vehement. “Everyone is.”
“See, the worst part is that you mean that when you say it,” Emerald grumbles, scrubbing at her face until smears of color kaleidoscope behind her closed eyes. “I figured people like you didn’t exist, and then Cinder and Merc were glad to prove me right, and—I let them. You know? And maybe if I’d just held out a little longer…”
“You’re not the only one here who’s ashamed of her past. Harriet tried to blow up Mantle, like, a month ago.”
“That’s not—forget that. I’m talking about you. Nora.” It’s the first time she’s ever said her name like that—addressing her, in conversation. It feels… astonishingly intimate, for so small a thing. Emerald powers past it. “Every day, I see you do something ridiculous, like double back on a patrol because you forgot you promised some kid a candy bar, or something, and that—matters. To me. It’s so stupid, but it’s not, because… argh! I want—it’s—” She tries to get her mouth to form the words, that’s the kind of person I want to be, but they stop in her throat.
Still, Nora seems to get the message. Her eyes seem suspiciously shiny for a moment—but when she blinks, it’s gone. “I… thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Emerald grumbles. Saying it like she means it: seriously. Don’t mention it.
“I understand what you mean, though. For years, the only person who looked out for me was Ren. And if he’d said…” Nora trails off, then, cocking her head to the side as she works through something. “Huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing, just. I remembered something. I was about to say that if Ren told me the only way for us to get by was a life of crime, or something, I would’ve taken his word for it, but—the opposite happened. We decided to enroll at Beacon. And that wasn’t his idea; it was mine. I always wanted to be a Huntress. To… to be the one strong enough to help people, instead of always needing the help. He wasn’t sure if we would make it, but I was. We were together, right? How could we lose?” She chuckles, a little, shaking her head at herself. “Get a load of that. He followed me.”
They smile at each other, then. Like they’ve figured out something profound. Maybe Nora has; Emerald hopes so.
“I’m glad you’re here, Emerald,” Nora says, and—there it is again. The frisson of electricity that comes with being referred to by name.
Of course, then Emerald ruins it by blurting out:
“Of course you are, all your other friends are dead.”
Which—“Fuck!” she sputters, because she didn’t mean to say that. What is wrong with her? “Sorry! Sorry.”
Nora only grins at her, feral and incisive. “Yeah, well. Yours are evil, so. Pick your poison. At least I’m proud of mine.”
Touché.
“Still glad I’m here?” Emerald jeers, because her first instinct is still to press on the bruise to see how much it hurts.
Nora laughs, and gets to her feet. “Believe it or not, yes. If putting your foot in your mouth was all it took to get booted from Hero Club, I’d have been kicked out a long time ago.” She reaches down to offer Emerald a hand; Emerald takes it, letting Nora pull her to standing. “Now go and get some rest, huh? None of us can ever sleep when you’re up here thinking so loud.”
“That an order?”
“Advice. Friends give it, from time to time.”
And—yeah. Maybe they do.
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pray, do tell
request: If you don’t mind me asking, request for Loki asking the other Loki’s if they have a s/o in their timeline during episode 5?
a/n: hi ! i absolutely ADORE this idea and i hope i'll write it out respectfully :)) i loved episode 5 so much, except for SOME scenes, and i especially enjoyed multiple lokis sitting around and talking, chilling, that's like... my dream place to be. YOU DON'T KNOW THE EFFECT PRESIDENT LOKI HAS ON ME. like it should be studied in labs and schools cos ??????? that feeling when he's on screen was just something else. also ! kid loki holding alligator loki my beloved <3. i'd love to be surrounded by lokis, me and loki actually have the same personality type so they're like... my people. sorry for the rant, hahah ! this one is a bit shorter than my other loki works, sorry about that :/ also it took me like 40 minutes to find decent gifs lmao. happy reading !! <3
masterlist
mcu masterlist
warnings: nothing really
disclaimer: lokis mentioned have he/him pronouns !
Weirded out by what he's seeing, and not entirely sure it's real, Loki can't take his eyes off it, either. The way alligator Loki drinks his boxed wine is just so fascinating to him, yet weird and other-wordly (he knows those well) at the same time. And he's weirded out more by the fact that he doesn't find a variant of him being an alligator strange in any way. He's had a few trying days, as he said himself.
Loki manages to divert his eyes off the creature with horns on its head and looks to the grapes he holds in his hand. He picks small dirt away from the berries and takes a grape into his mouth with ease. The taste reminds him of many things. His childhood, his home, his family... Thor, Frigga, Odin, Sif and the Warriors Three. Asgard. The Gardens, the waters, the Bifrost. Heimdall. Visits to the city, the markets, the celebrations.
Love.
Loki blinks, fooling himself and others by aiming to portray that he's not thinking about anything important. But he is. She was the most important thing to him, and now... Well, maybe during the New York heist, she's still fine, but after Ragnarok... Loki fears too much to think about it.
He wishes he could remember everything with her that followed New York, but all he has of their future is some worn-out tape in the TVA archives. Perhaps even pictures... He wants to live through all they had now, he wishes he could do that most of all. Of course, there's the finding Mobius and helping Sylvie burn down the TVA thing, but upon remembering her, it all falls into the background.
His first love. Not a god, like him, but she was a goddess in his eyes. He smiles now, subtly, at the fond memories of her. He noticed the little moments he had with her in the tape Mobius had, about his whole future. How beautiful she always was, her subtle way of laughing and going about her smiles and giggles, how exceptional and different her clothes always were, how her hair shined in any light...
“Did any of you...” Loki starts to say, and sighs shortly before continuing, thinking he'll probably regret asking it, “did any of you leave a... a lover behind when the TVA arrested you? Prince or princess?” He looks between his variants. Young Loki shoots him a stern look. “Apologies, my liege. You seem too young for that.” Loki bids him a polite smile, but his brain whirs. “How long have you been here, anyway?”
“Don't know. Time doesn't really... exist here.” Young Loki says and throws a salt biscuit into alligator Loki's jaws. “But no lovers in my lifetime, Loki.” He pointedly looks at the older variant of himself, nodding slightly.
“Not yet, at least.” Loki points out and gets scoffs and chuckles from Boastful and Classic Loki. He looks at them with a furrowed brow.
“Oh, you and your grand plan,” Classic Loki shakes his head before taking another sip from his huge cup. Loki only rolls his eyes, but still waits for answers to his question, “well,” Classic Loki downs his drink, “it would be no surprise to you that I had countless partners before I chose isolation. Partners of any kind.” He winks. Loki nods, understanding how much alike he truly is with his variants. “But I feel there is no one truly... truly made for me. Like midgardians would say - 'the one'.“
“In my case, there were many 'the ones',” Boastful Loki says, mocking Classic's use of words. All other Lokis roll their eyes, “I actually feel like every person in the whole universe was made to be with me. I'm just that irresistible.” He smiles pleasantly to himself. Alligator Loki growls again.
“That's another “liar” from him to you, Boast,” Classic Loki nods his head towards Boastful, who only shakes his head and frowns.
“I had my fair share of men and women before I was taken,” Boastful says, “must have been the same for you, Loki.” He looks at him. “Asgard was truly a giving place.”
Loki chuckles, but looks away from his variants. “Oh, it was...” he says quietly, “it was.” His voice grows even more quiet. Young and Classic Loki exchange a look.
“Do tell us, your mischievousness.” Classic Loki urges him. Loki shoots him a nervous look, then he leans back into the sofa and sighs, his eyes strictly focused on his hands.
“I had plenty before I met... one,” he starts to say, “me and her share a past, and, it seems, a future as well. After New York, I am taken to Asgard, imprisoned, but she is there. I fake my death and rule over Asgard as Odin, and she's there. I help Thor destroy our evil sister--”
“Oh, she was a nasty one.” Boastful says, shaking his head. “We used to have a connection, but then she just... I don't even know.” He shrugs. Loki eyes him for a second before continuing.
“We destroyed Asgard, but saved its people, and saved her. We make for Midgard, and she's there with me.” Loki sighs, his eyes gloomy. “And then... Thanos attacks, destroys half, if not all our people, and...” he can't even speak further. His variants share a look, each having quite the correct guess for what could follow after that. Boastful drinks from his cup in an awkward manner. “But I feel like that's another life I lived. Or another me. I don't know, I feel so... disconnected from her, from what we had. Must be the TVA and this... void. And all that's happened, all I've learned about my future.” He sighs again.
“Meeting her again would be a wake-up call, no?” Boastful asks. Loki shrugs, a sad expression on his face.
“Rather a sign that you're real.” Classic Loki says with a wide, true smile. Loki looks to him as if looking at a mentor. “I often felt like the people I loved and the love I had for them, even if it was not reciprocated, were a reminder that I am real, I exist and I can feel all these things.”
Loki considers his words, and then nods along, finding a truth in them.
“After all, love and all other emotions are the human part in all of us.” Classic says. “And it isn't always bad to feel like a regular human being.” Loki can also find truth in those words. Love makes one feel alive, makes you feel like you're on the right path, found the right person, found your purpose. It doesn't always have to be glorious, it can be small, but nonetheless important to you.
“I used to think humans smaller than us, more pathetic and puny, but...” Loki shakes his head, “we, gods, are just the same, really.” He chuckles sadly. “Having quarrels over the stupidest things, being as imperfect as humans... Sometimes I even felt like I was too good, too perfect for something like true love, which is a pathetic emotion that makes you feel all kinds of other feelings, but...” he smiles, “often times I felt like that, she told me everyone was deserving of love, even me.” His smile grows wider.
“She sounds lovely.” Classic Loki tells him with a kind smile.
“She was that, and more.” Loki nods along. Young Loki imitates the sound of a snore and throws a crumpled piece of paper at Loki's shoulder.
“You're making me extremely bored.” He announces and sits straighter in his chair, looking over the mess that is his palace. “Love's boring.” Young Loki throws a juice carton across the room, making a face.
“You are just too young to understand and know it, your majesty.” Boastful says with a wink, and the next juice carton is flying over his head with a snicker from Young Loki. Classic Loki keeps Boastful tight in his seat so an argument wouldn't arise, and Boastful hesitantly restrains, his drink almost spilling over his cup. Loki watches them with a sappy smile on his features, and decides this is a good place to spend eternity at, even without her.
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Hi! Before anything I wanted to lyk I've read through some of your work and you've easily become one of my favorite writers :) I was wondering if you could do a bit of a comfort post? If not that's totally okay! If so, could it be hcs for Bakugo, Shinso, and maybe Aizawa (but not in like a relationship kinda way for him, like a student opening up to their teacher) telling them about being gender fluid? What would be their reactions? How would they adjust to the name change and using different pronouns? I recently told my bf and he didn't seem too up for it, eventually I told him to use my given name and she/her, kinda bummed lmao. I totally understand if you don't want to write for this, tysm either way! Have a great night/day :) (I'm so sorry this is so lengthy lmaooo)
reader coming out as gender fluid
character(s) : bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, aizawa shouta (bnha)
legend : [Y/N = your name, D/N = deadname] gender neutral, quirk not specific
headcanon type : hurt-comfort, fluff (x reader; platonic)
note(s) : first of all, i’m sorry about what happened with your boyfriend, if he cares about you, then he should’ve been supportive. it’s disheartening knowing that you decided to have him address you by your birth name, and by she/her. it should never be that way, especially when you felt comfortable coming out to HIM as gender fluid.
anon, i really hope this post gives you comfort, and if you want to talk— my dms are open!
»»————- ♡ ————-««
bakugou katsuki
he wasn’t so sure on why you were acting all skittish all of a sudden, and he just wished you told him what was up
as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, katsuki really hates seeing you this down— and if only he could ‘kill those pesky emotions!!’
after a long day at school, katsuki decided to demand an immediate answer, on WHY you were acting like this
you express your concern, and even though katsuki’s rough words say otherwise— he’s willing to help (as much as he could)
but he wasn’t expecting you to come out as genderfluid
the entire pronoun thing had him confused, and it wasn’t in the “huh?? why would you want that?” type of confusion
it was rather like the “i thought they/them were plural pronouns?” confusion, but don’t be misguided! a quick google search fixed it up, and now he gets it.
with the name thing,, it took him two tries for him to get it right— but he’ll treat you like royalty if he accidentally slips up. he doesn’t mean to disrespect you
out of everyone here— he would be the most confused at first, since he hasn’t had anyone come out to him in like,, ever
katsuki feels so honored to have you feel comfortable enough to come out to him.
everyone is so intimidated by his short-tempered demeanor, to the point that no one has shared such an important, and personal detail to him
he’ll pull you in for a hug, large warm hands rubbing your back— and he’s trying to be gentle, okay?
“you really thought i was gonna say some bullshit about this, huh?” was what he first said to break the silence “i could care less about what you fucking identify with, you’re still you.”
and he means it
if anyone disrespects you, he’s blowing them up into space— enraged that anyone would try to disrespect you.
katsuki’s also very quick to correct someone if they ever deadname you “IT’S Y/N, NOT D/N!”
rip to them
shinsou hitoshi
as soon as he notices that something’s wrong, his eyes will be on you— and only you.
he wishes he had some sort of mind reading quirk— he wants to know what’s on your mind, just so he could help you
hitoshi doesn’t want to be pushy, so he can only wait for you to come to him— but he will leave subtle hints that you could tell him anything that was on your mind.
so that’s when you decide to tell him your worries, and everything— feeling that you’re ready to come out to him as gender fluid
a small genuine smile will grace his face, pulling you into a loose embrace— “thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me.”
the next thing he does is ask you if you want to go by anything else— just in case you do want to be addressed differently.
you’ll still be his kitty anyway, so it’s not like this change would negatively affect him.
you’ll never catch him slipping up
i’m sure he’s probably familiar with different types of identities— so gender fluidity isn’t a stranger topic to him
so because of this, he adapts pretty easily— cooperating with the new revelations with ease
rip to anyone that has the audacity to deadname or misgender you, it’s not something he takes very lightly similar to bakugou and aizawa
he’ll understand if it’s a innocent mistake, but he still won’t be pleased with the offender— that’s strike one for him
i swear— his glare will make anyone shart their pants in a second. it’s ruthless
hitoshi won’t hesitate on using his quirk on anyone that purposely disrespects you— and for once, he doesn’t care about what others will say about him.
they shouldn’t have disrespected you 🤷♀️ just saying
if you wanted to buy clothes that were a lot more gender neutral, he’s perfectly fine with that too!
hitoshi doesn’t care if you strip him of every single penny and dime that was in his wallet for hoodies and sweatpants.
he just wants your happiness to be at it’s highest at all times— because a happy Y/N makes a happy hitoshi <3
aizawa shouta
even though he has to take care and supervise 23 growing teenagers, he still manages to notice if something’s wrong with one of them it’s impressive!
of course— aizawa’s a busy man, and he’s constantly tired. but, it would make him feel a lot better if all of his students were content with themselves
so seeing you down was something he noticed since the moment you came in
it’s not like he could FORCE you to tell him what was wrong, that’s not the approach he’s looking for
and besides, if you told him that everything was fine, then he couldn’t really push it. his concern didn’t really die down though
a few days later, aizawa decides to talk to you again— basically consenting you to come talk to him when the time’s right
but he didn’t see this coming
so that’s when you decide to come out to him first, spilling out your concerns, and the worries that plagued your mind— worried that people wouldn’t accept your new identity as a gender fluid person
now, aizawa has met a lot of people in his life. from different ages, people with different quirks, and of course— different identities
he asks you why you decided to tell him first, and you told him that it’s because you felt comfortable knowing he knew first
“thank you for telling me, Y/N” he thanks you calmly with a comforting hand on your shoulder “i’m proud of you.”
he asks you if you want to go by a different name, and he’ll make sure to start calling you by that name (even though he calls all of his students by their last name)
oh, and he immediately switches pronouns! i know that should be expected but,, it’s so natural wow
of course, he won’t out you to anyone if you’re not ready to come out to the rest
and because of how natural the pronouns switch is, no one notices it when aizawa started addressing you with they/them
but if you’re ready to come out, he’ll be there— silently making sure that everyone accepts you.
okay but he’ll get so defensive if anyone misgenders you or dead names you— his capture tape will start floating, and his eyes will shine red
which is weird because.. who has the guts to dead name/misgender AIZAWA SHOUTA’s student?? anyone that does that in front of him is INSANE
in short, he’s very supportive— he won’t blow it out of proportion, because he knows how uncomfortable that’d feel if he did
but he’s glad to know that you decided to share such a important detail to him— aizawa might be always tired, but he wouldn’t dare to forget such detail
you’re his student after all, he cares about you lots— if you’re content with yourself, then that’d bring him inner peace
»»————- ♡ ————-««
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission
#bnha imagines#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha imagines#bnha x y/n#bnha fluff#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou imagines#bakugou headcanons#katsuki bakugou x reader#shinsou x reader#shinsou imagines#shinsou hitoshi x reader#shinsou x y/n#shinsou x you#shinsou headcanons#aizawa shouta x reader#aizawa x reader#aizawa imagines#aizawa x you#aizawa headcanons#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#gender neutral reader
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When I got my ADHD diagnosis, I looked at the questions on the screening form and thought, "If this result comes back positive, then I'm definitely not the only person in my family who has it." Questions like
"Have difficulty finishing one activity before starting another one" and
"I finish others' sentences before they can finish it themselves" and
"have trouble staying on one topic when talking"
...I thought were just weird quirks of my family, but no. When I got my results, I contacted my cousin, and she contacted her sisters and mother, and .. .. yeah. Basically everyone in my dad's side of the family is ADHD.
Now there are some problems with that, obviously, (getting family reunions to stick to a schedule is lol no) but there are some really fantastic perks. For one thing, no one in that family minds if I interrupt them while they're talking ... everyone's happy to keep 3 conversations going at the same time .... and no one minds if you fidget constantly.
But the best perk -- at least that I've found so far -- is that all of our parents have coping mechanisms, and passed them on to us. When I found myself unable to handle tasks with more than one step, my father didn't say "WTF are you talking about? It's easy! Just do the thing! Stop being lazy!" No, he could relate completely, and he sat down and taught me how to handle that.
So today, I'm going to pass on to you the coping mechanism my dad taught me for handling the "cannot put tasks in order / cannot get started / forget what I'm doing" problem. You'll need to adjust it for your own needs and your own struggles, but hopefully it'll be helpful in setting up your own process.
I'm going to walk through it with a big project I'm doing at work, just to have a concrete example. That will make some of the discussion specific to computer programming and technical writing, but I do the same thing for all my projects, so hopefully it'll be generalizable.
So to set the stage:
I was supposed to modify this piece of code -- we'll call it "Rosetta" -- to make it handle call data as well as what it was already doing. I did that.... but we now need the code to be able to handle calls (if that's wanted) but also to be able to handle NOT having calls (if THAT'S wanted).
Which is just .... ugh. So much. SOOOOOOOO much.
So. Break it down.
Step one is to get some recording mechanism - pen and paper, whiteboard, blank computer document, whatever
(Technically, this is a different coping strategy, so we'll just take a quick detour: WRITE THINGS DOWN. Your brain is shit at remembering things, and anyway you've already got limits on your working memory; why would you choose to tie up some of that limited resource in something that could be accomplished with literal stone-age technology? Don't even try to remember things. WRITE THEM DOWN.)
I like sticky notes: they're readily available in all offices, they're pretty cheap, and (most importantly) they can be rearranged if it turns out that I forgot a step or put the steps in the wrong order (which, like, let's be honest, I am definitely going to do). But they kill trees and create unnecessary methane emissions, so I've recently switched over to using virtual sticky notes. That's the format I'm going to use for this example, but you can use anything that meets your purposes.
So, you've got something to write with, you're ready to start.
The first question is: what are you trying to accomplish here? What would "done" look like? What is our goal?
I need to end up with a version of Rosetta that will make the correct results if you don't want calls, and will also make the correct results if you do.
The goal here is that you end up with a statement that you can definitively say (a) Yes this is what I wanted or (b)No this is not right because _______
In this case, in order to do that, I'll need to define "correct results" for both call- and non-call versions. But if I have that nailed down, then this statement meets that criterion: I'll be able to say "Yes, this is what I wanted: see, it makes the correct result for calls, and it makes the correct result for not-calls". Or else I'll be able to say, "No, this is wrong: see, it makes the correct result for calls, but on not-calls it does X and we wanted Y."
I have a clear, definitive standard about what I need to do and whether or not I've done it.
But there was a prerequisite there: I need to define "correct results".
So that goes on a sticky note: Create test that will compare my results to existing call!Rosetta-results and to existing not-call!Rosetta-results.
[ID: Two blue boxes, one on top of the other. The top one says in white text "Create test to compare my results to call!results" The bottom one says "Create test to compare my results to not-call!results"] OK. So now we know what we want. The second question is: what do we need to do in order to get that? Here's where the sticky-note recording system really shines, because you don't have to answer this question sequentially. You just start writing down every single thing that is not the way you want it to end up.
I need it to remove commas in the python script, not the bash script
I need to delete the first part of the get_runs() function, which doesn't do anything
I need to delete the rest of the parameters passed to build_query_script() function, because runs encompasses all the others
while we're on that subject, runs doesn't even need the group_variable, so let's pull that out of the parameter document
we also have a dmf defined, which the bash script demands but doesn't use; let's change that demand
since we're changing the structure of the parameter document, we don't need to pull new metrics for each run, so let's move that outside of the runs() loop and only run once
right now the parameter document is ALMOST but not quite "one row per template". Make it so it's actually one row per template.
among other things, that's going to require making it possible for a template to be followed by nothing at all, since it's the assumption that a template will have a metrics block after it that makes it not quite one row per template. So make it possible to publish a template with a null block
the other thing that's weirdly hard-coded is the definition of what a block looks like. Would it make more sense to separate that out into an input file, like the parameters document? On the one hand, that would make it much more flexible; on the other hand, that's another piece that can break. Don't know. Put a question mark on it.
etc
Here's what it looks like at the end of this step:
[ID: A black and white background showing many boxes in two different shades of blue, all with white text. Some of the boxes are overlapping each other.]
As you can see, at this phase you don't need to worry about any of the following:
ordering the tasks. Just stick 'em right on top of each other for now
how you're going to do any of this. Right now we just need to know what, not how
sticking to only one project. As I was working on this, it occurred to me that this whole process would have been a heck of a lot easier if someone had just made a user manual for this, and since I have to go through all the code line-by-line anyway, I might as well write up the documentation while I'm at it. (To help out future-me, if nothing else.) So I put those tasks on another color of sticky note.
making notes that make any ***ing sense to anyone else. This process is for you, and only you need to understand what you're talking about it. Phrase it in ways that make sense to your brain, and to hell with anyone else.
on that topic, also don't worry about making steps that are "too small" or "too dumb" to write down. This is for you. If "save document" feels like a step to you, then write it down.
You also don't need to get every single step involved in the project right now. Get as many as you can, to be sure, but the process is designed on the assumption that you ARE going to forget important steps, and is designed to handle that.
When you can't think of any more steps, then the third question is: what order does it make sense to do these in? Are there any steps that would be easier if you did another step first? Are there any that literally cannot be done unless another step is complete?
This is also a good place to group steps if they fit together nicely. When I used physical sticky notes, I used two different sizes; digitally I can of course make them whatever size I want.
So I have several documentation steps that (a) do need to be written to make sense to other people and (b) I really need to know what's going on before I can do that. I could write them now, but if I did, I'd just end up re-writing them based on things that change as I'm coding. So we'll move those to the end:
[ID: Three dark blue boxes with white text. They read "Create step-by-step instructions for creating your own metric agg", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a metric", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a query."]
These parts, though -- if I had all the variable structures written down, I could look at them while I'm coding. Then I won't have to keep scrolling back and forth in the code, trying to remember if it's an array or a dictionary while also trying to remember what part of the code I was working on. Brilliant. Move that to the front.
[ID: Seven dark blue boxes with white text, three large, four small. The first one is large and says "Write up explanation of how Rosetta works." The second one is large and says "Document structure of all variables." Attached to that one are four smaller boxes that say "All_blocks", "Runs", "metric", "New_block". The third large one says "Document what qb_parameters.csv contains"]
Also, while I'm at it, I should get the list of variables I need to document -- then I won't have to keep scrolling to find them. Make those sub-steps.
I definitely keep needing to look up what's in the parameters document, so I should write that down, too. For the user manual I also should write down what's in the metric document, but I don't need that for myself, so I can send that to the end.
[ID: The same three dark blue boxes from two screenshots ago (create step-by-step instructions for metric agg, modifying a metric, and modifying a query), now with another dark blue box in front of them with white text that says "Document what granular_metrics.tsv contains."]
These five are all small steps, and are all related in that they don't actually (hopefully) change the functionality of the code; they're just stuff left over from prior versions of this code. So we can lump them all together.
[ID: Five light blue boxes with white text that say "Delete first part of get_runs()", "Have build_query_script only receive the "run" parameter" "Delete dmf" "Move metrics=get_metrics() outside build_all_blocks (all the way up to the top level?" "Delete group_variable from qp_parameters"]
My brain likes this better, so that I can keep track of fewer "main steps", but that's just a peculiarity of me -- you should lump and split however you prefer to make this process easier for you.
[ID: The same five boxes from the prior screenshot, now all made smaller and attached to a larger box that says "Remove Legacy Code"]
Keep going, step by step, sticky by sticky, until you've got them in order. If -- while you're doing this -- you remember another thing you need to do, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile; you don't have to stop what you're doing to deal with it, because it's written down and it's on the pile and it will get processed; you can just keep working on the thing you're on right now.
[ID: All the same boxes from the first screenshot, now in a neat row. Some of the original boxes have been grouped together. The ones that were said to be at the beginning of the process are on the left and the ones that were said to be at the end are on the right.]
Step four: for the love of all that's holy, SAVE THIS LIST.
Write it on your cubicle whiteboard where it won't be erased
write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the office wall
send an email to yourself
take a picture with your phone
I don't care but save it.
When I used physical sticky notes, I kept them all on the hood of my cubicle's shelf. Now, as you can see, I use Powerpoint, which is irritating af but does allow me to keep everything in a single document, which I can write down the path of.
[ID: White text on a black background says "open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Modifications\ and \Documentation.pptx" The next line says "Notes in Rocketbook pg 10-12, 16" The next line says "Turn that into documentation that can be used for making modifications."]
And now (finally) you can answer the question "How would I even get started on that?" You look at the first thing on the list, and you treat it as its own project. You can hyperfocus on this step and completely forget about everything else this project requires, because everything you need to remember for the rest of it is written down.
If, as you're working a step, you think of something else you need to do for the big project, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile. Don't even worry about trying to order it or identify sub-steps; as long as it's not blocking the thing you need to work on right now, you don't have to care. Just stick that bugger anywhere at all on the list, and go back to what you were doing. When you un-hyperfocus and come back to look at your list, there'll be a big sticky note stuck sideways across all the rest of the steps, and you'll remember to file and order it then.
Other benefits of this system
1) The first question really helps with unclear directions from your boss. You can take whatever they told you to do, and translate it into a requirement that is clearly either met or not-met, and then run it back by the boss.
If they say, "No, no, we want ______" then phew! You just saved a huge miscommunication and weeks of wasted work! What a good employee you are! What an excellent team player with strong communication skills!
If they say "Yes, that's what I want," then you know -- for sure -- what it is you're trying to accomplish. Your anxiety is reduced, and your boss thinks you're super-conscientious.
(And if your boss is a jerk who likes to move the goalposts and blame it on their subordinates, then have this conversation over email, so you can show it to their boss or to HR should it become necessary.)
2) Having this project map means that when you spend an hour staring at the requirements and trying to figure out how to get started (which, let's be honest, you were definitely going to do anyway) ... When your boss/coworker comes by and says, "How's it going?" Instead of having to say "I haven't even started 😞" You can say, "Pretty well! I've got all the steps mapped out and am getting ready to start on implementation!" and show them your list, and they think you're very organized and meticulous. 3) Sometimes, especially in corporate jobs, you and your coworkers will run into a problem that's too big for even Neurotypicals to hold all in their heads. At that point, the NTs will be completely lost -- they've never had to develop a way to handle projects they can't just look at and know how to get started. So then you pipe up in the meeting and say, "OK, well, what exactly are we trying to accomplish?" and everybody at the conference table looks at you like you're a goddamned genius and you don't have to tell them that you use this exact same process to remember how to make a sandwich 😅
4) Having this project map makes it so much easier to stop work and then start it up again later, but this post is already really really really long, so I'm going to address that in a separate (really really long) post.
#adhd#adhd life#tips#semi-solicited advice#gpoy#your mileage may vary#long post#very long post#sorry I wish I wrote more concisely too
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HI @jellyfitzjelly I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE ENCHANTED AU SO HERE I GO (some stuff is kind of wishy-washy and some relationships might not make the most sense but like I'm trying to string the Justice League into a Disney movie give me a break)
The premise is, instead of a fairytale world, there's the real world, and the comic world. Just like in the fairytale world, the characters are archetypes of fairytale characters, in the comic world they're archetypes of comic book characters. Think real classic 40-50s, cape-can-stop-lava type vibe, very black and white view on good and evil, and the supes are pretty much "on" all the time, they don't really have public personas -- if you asked them their names, sure, Superman could tell you he's Clark Kent! GL could tell you he's Hal Jordan, no problem. But when's the last they remember actually being Clark or Hal? They live to save people and fight evil! That's what gives them purpose in life!
Superman and the Flash team up to do a job together and what do you know, they make a great pair! What would be even better is... what if they put together a crime-fighting team? (Crime-fighting with someone else is like... their equivalent to romance, almost, so Flash might as well have proposed to Superman -- and he says yes!)
In putting together their crime-fighting team, Superman turns to someone he knows can help -- the generous Lex Luthor. Philanthropist, inventor, genius businessman who's helped the people of their city through countless disasters, who better to help than him? :) So when Lex tells Superman that he has an amazing new technology that will make their lives so much easier, Superman is eager to see.
Next thing he knows, he's travelling through dimensions. The multiverse. Whatever you want to call it.
Unbeknownst to pretty much everyone else in comic world, Lex doesn't fit into the black/white view of evil. He's not a one dimensional character. He pretends. He holds the trust of the citizens, of the superheroes, and behind it, he commits whatever unethical acts he wants, because who's going to think to stop him?
Back to Superman. The real world. It looks... Familiar, in a strange way. Reality itself looks different; detailed, imperfect in ways he can't describe, and yet not too different to his world. The buildings are a little uglier maybe, but everyone looks human anyway. He flies off to try and get his bearings and figure out what's just happened to him.
But he can't.
He can't fly.
He can't even leap a building in a single bound. What the hell is happening? The sun doesn't look like a red dwarf, so why is he so weak?
Amid trying to get off the ground, a car hits him. While he's dazed on the ground, registering the fact that, ow, that hurt!, there's a woman standing over him, fussing about, trying to make sure she didn't just kill a guy in the street. Lois Lane.
--
Ok I'm too lazy to write the rest narratively so bullet points!
• Bruce is Lois' boyfriend. Head of Wayne Industries, still about as fucked up as canon Bruce, but he hides it better and gets on with life because, what else can he do?
• Seeing as she nearly killed him with her car, Lois takes Clark in (after being fairly confident that he's not a danger to her; she probably pepper sprays him at least once in this AU), which leads to an. Odd? Situation with her and Bruce? Bruce doesn't jump to thinking she's cheating on him, but he is like. Why is there a bodybuilder in blue spandex in your apartment. Lois does her best to explain that he's clearly not well and she's just trying to figure out how to get him back home, wherever that is.
• Clark gets to experience being a normal guy! Which, again, is weird for him, because he knows he has a civilian persona but... when has he ever been a civilian? He gets to wear a normal shirt and normal pants and normal glasses (because it turns out that without his powers, his eyes suck), and he gets to stand in LINES and deal with delays on the SUBWAY, and even help Lois with some news stories! Being a civilian is so different and wonderful
• Coming off the black and white good and evil thing, I had thought that it would be really interesting if Clark was faced with complex morality in the real world. Maybe he goes with Lois to meet an informant who's an ex-con, and he doesn't understand at first how a criminal can help fight crime. He has to learn that people are multifaceted and can change and grow, or that sometimes they do bad things because they have no choice, or people sometimes pretend to be good but do awful things behind the scenes (cough)
• While Clark is dealing with all of that and Lois is dealing with all of Clark, Wally has made his way into the real world (against Lex's advice, claiming the machine is unstable or some bullshit) but Wally can't just leave his future partner-in-justice to fend for himself! So he's going around Metropolis trying to find Superman, without his powers and without much luck.
• (this is one area where things are a bit vague because I don't know the best way to tie it together. I don't have an equivalent for the evil queens lackey, nor for the chipmunk that helps the prince in the movie -- I thought it would be funny if Hal was Wally's "chipmunk", but I couldn't think of a reason why he couldn't clue Wally into the lackey being evil, and again, still no lackey picked)
• Clark comes to realise he loves being a normal guy and being in the normal world, and Lois realises that she loves Clark (and vice versa)
• they have a big fight with Lex at the end where they have to go powerless up against his big mech or something
• Bruce helps out in the final fight alongside Wally, and it turns out oh he likes this. This feels good. He can get behind this. And he goes back to the comic world with Wally to go fight crime in a bat costume and not have to deal with business stuff or social life or ANYTHING, he just gets to kiss his crime fighting husband and beat up murderous clowns
• I don't have many specifics to say on Batflash just because they're not the main focus, but I like to imagine that they get more "screen time" than the prince and uhhh idina menzel in the movie, maybe they meet first while Wally is looking for Clark
Yea :]
#dc#batman#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#lois lane#wally west#flash#lex luthor#enchanted au#dan speaks#danfic#kind of
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