#anyways name a more insane hermit

[cubfan135-facts]

cubfan135 fact #21:

Hermitcraft season 6 featured an unknown individual known only as The Jingler, who conducted a series of pranks on several hermits. Those who fell victim to the Jingler's pranks were often referred to as being "#Jingled". Some pranks included (but are not limited to) vandalizing Grian's map room to say "You have been J-J-Jingled!!!", and leaving a mysterious book in Hermitville with coordinates that merely led to a sign reading, "GG You've been had! #Jingled".

The Jingler's identity was never revealed by the time Season 6 had concluded. Fans and hermits alike speculated their true identity for years. Many fans believed them to be Grian, however it was unlikely as Grian already had two prankster alter egos in Season 6, Poultry Man and The Salmon Ghost. GoodTimesWithScar was revealed to be the Jangler, a different entity entirely with no official ties to the Jingler. Rendog was suspected of being the Jingler for asking his viewers to "jingle that [notification] bell" at the end of his videos. Tango was also suspected of being the Jingler, as his returns to the server coincidentally aligned with the Jingler's pranks.

The most in-depth search for the identity of the jingler on the Hermitcraft server appears to be from Joehills. Upon checking the community mailbox, Joehills discovered a message from the Jingler left in every hermit's mailbox. Deciding that he could not let this devious behavior continue, he set out to follow a trail to reveal their true identity. He initially asks for the help of his viewers to gather intel from other hermit's videos, however this effort would prove fruitless as the Jingler carefully made sure to never reveal themselves on camera. Joe suspects a parrot by the name of Jingles to be behind the pranks, claiming that the parrot works for ConCorp. However, it is possible he was actually thinking of Captain Jack Sparrow, the CEO of ConCorp, and the lead seemed to come to a dead end.

The Jingler's identity was still unknown by the end of season 6, leaving both fans and hermits to speculate on their identity for years. Many began to believe there was no one true Jingler, but the hermits as a collective conducted a multitude of pranks under one common alias.

The Jingler's identity was finally revealed on April 23, 2022 on the Hermitcraft 10-year anniversary livestream. Cub admitted to being the Jingler, notably only after being asked directly by Jevin. Grian in particular was so distraught by the revelation that he joined the discord call from his mobile phone to comment on the situation.

Hermitcraft season 6 began in July of 2018, meaning that the identity of the Jingler was kept a secret for roughly 4 years. It is possible that this is the longest-kept secret in all of Hermitcraft history. The only known "evidence" of Cub being the Jingler is when he is seen during Impulse's Season 6 episode 32 asking if Grian has completed the infinity room. It is likely Cub was inquiring either to see if he could vandalize the map without Grian noticing, or to see Grian's reaction if the prank had already been carried out. Besides this small piece of circumstantial evidence, there was virtually no proof of Cub being the Jingler prior to April 2022. The most concerning detail in this story is, perhaps, the fact that the identity of the Jingler was only revealed when Cub was directly confronted by Jevin on stream. It is unknown if Cub ever planned to reveal the Jingler's identity on his own, and he very well may have intended to take this secret to the grave.

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 6

-> Part 1

-> Part 5

With Dvalin gone, you were left basically homeless. Not that it was much of an issue, not really. The forests had been very kind to you -- you could easily live the life of a hermit if you so wished, without having to worry about food, water, shelter or animal attacks.

But it would also be horribly lonely. No compassionate silence, no background noise and buzz of other people scurrying around and going about their day without minding you, no one to speak to if you ever felt the need to.

You liked being alone, but you were still human and humans were social animals.

Soooooo, you promptly asked Crepus about working in his Winery in exchange for accommodations, because 'one that asks, does not stray'... or something like that anyways. Your sister always made her life that much harder because she outright refused to ask for help even when hopelessly lost or overwhelmed, so there must be something to the saying at least.

"You don't have to work to earn your keep, (Name). I'd be more than happy to house you as my guest for however long you want!" is what Crepus 'Sunshine Personified' Ragnvindr responded with.

Crepus used Puppy Eyes, it was super effective!

You laid defeated, a puddle of cuteness overload once again wishing for sunglasses to protect yourself from the blinding smiles and imaginary wagging tails.

Crepus was horrible for your heart.

Still, you would go insane if left with nothing to do for days at a time, so you went to turn the Ragnvindr library upside down with Crepus' blessing, a bunch of notebooks, a bunch of pens and a delusion that you'd do any actual studying in there.

This was Teyvat, but this wasn't Genshin Impact -- a library wouldn't have interesting lore, it'd have dry history and even drier geography, accompanied by boring economics and even more boring politics (which was a damn shame too, politics were so interesting when written right).

You never quite had a head for those, prefering subjects with more practical applications that could be practiced instead of having to be beaten into your thick skull until you memorized it just long enough to write the exam.

Though for some ungodly reason you still remembered that onions were actually leaves. It was one of the very few things you remembered from school, actually.

Probably the trauma speaking.

Still, you did find some interesting books - a diary speaking of the Decarabian rule, for example.

Today, I don my very own Windblume.

I can only hope Lord Decarabian never learns of its' significance.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The winds are particularly harsh today.

I am afraid, but I smile and play my lyre as if nothing were happening at all, like I always do.

Sometimes, I forget if what I do is to reasure the people or to delude myself that everything is as it should be...

Then again, does it matter when the result remains the same?

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The people are growing restless.

Their yearning for freedom gave birth to a small wind spirit that seems fond of my playing. It is an adorable being, even if it has yet to communicate with us.

It remind me of a newborn puppy.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The people are planning a rebellion.

I want to help, but how can I? I am no soldier, my strength lays with the pen and the lyre, not with the sword.

Ragnvindr told me there was no need for more warriors, that I was doing enough by keeping the morale up with my performances... I am hesistant to believe him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The little spirit has spoken for the first time today.

It said that it knew the song I was playing, despite it being a new piece I was in the midst of creating, and sang along to lyrics I had yet to write.

It was strange, but it made me happy nonetheless.

Perhaps I was strange too, for feeling that way.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

You had a suspicion on who the author of the diary was by that point. Maybe Crepus would be open to giving this diary to Venti, instead of it gathering dust on the shelf?

Idly, you wondered how it had survived so long, but figured Ragnvindr and his descendants took good care of it.

I met Ragnvindr today.

Something compelled me to share my worries with him, even though I knew he had enough weight on his shoulders and I ought not to add more.

"If you cannot trust in yourself, then trust in me and my trust in you instead" he told me.

It helped.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

Meetings regarding the rebellion are more and more frequent. Ragnvindr, alongside a man named Amos, have convinced the Gunnhildr clan to participate against all odds.

I can understand their hesitance. Should we fail to kill Lord Decarabian, their legacy would be no more.

I admire their bravery.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The wind has long since realized change is imminent, even when Lord Decarabian himself has not - the little spirit said so.

King of Gales indeed, even the wind has rebelled against him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

Ragnvindr speaks of a bad premonition.

In truth, my heart is uneasy as well, but how can I share those feelings with anyone but myself? It is not the time to bother others with my issues -- it is time to reassure everyone, to rouse their spirit and not to let fear take root even as they stand against a God. It is my duty as a bard and as a fellow rebel.

The Windblume feels particularly heavy as I write this.

I fear I will not live to see tomorrow's sunset, but I fear for my dearest friends and for Mondstadt even more.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

My little spirit friend is still without a name.

I know it does not bother them, they are the wind itself after all, but I would still like to give them a name others can remember them by.

A name that they can remember me by once I pass on, selfish as it is to bind an immortal to a memory.

But I am selfish, even if Ragnvindr may see me as a paragon of virtue. I am a human and to be human is to be flawed. I am not ashamed of it, even if I often feel guilty for it.

Perhaps it will be the very last thing I achieve in this life of mine.

It is hard to name them.

I've thought of many names up until now.

Caelus. Liberius. Aella. Calliope. Achill. Carmine. Hilarius. Hanne. Zephyrinus. Dieter. Sascha. Scilla. Paulus. Notus. Veronica. Agna. Vergil.

Those are just a few of the ones I discarded.

None fit.

I can only hope the right name reveals itself when it is time.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

That was the last entry.

You closed the diary and carefully put it aside.

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

It was not supposed to be mostly nameless bard POV via old diary.

It really wasn't.

Mans literally kidnapped the chapter entirely against my will while I was half asleep yesterday and attempting to write at nearly midnight and I was powerless to stop it, on god.

But hey, at least we got potential Venti bonding set up for the future?

I was planning for more fluff, but I also have no outline for this, so my chapters have a chance of getting kidnapped at any time.

✨BY THE WAY!!!!✨

The charm of spontaneous writing, I guess?

If you have something you want to happen - for example we're in the library right now, so maybe you want a book about a specific tidbit to appear - do let me know, maybe I'll write it in!

I had 2 tests and 1 retake yesterday and holy shit i got through all of them and tomorrow is last day of uni then it's ✨HOLIDAYS✨

✨Taglist✨

@game-savvy @chaoticfivesworld @mmeatt @avalordream @ymechi @andromeda-gay @naynayaa @undecidingfate @thedevioussmirk @tumb3ld0wn @balaur-bondoc @yi-chii @yarabutterfly @nervouseaglelover @vexingpraedyth @indelible-colouring-markers @whitefantasy21-blog @kapitankarate

[oh-no-its-bird]

reading ur fic one step three steps rn and I don't usually read oc-insert fics but ichigo is SUCH a menace I love her to death... and the idea of this feral, unchecked little kid being put in kakashi's care is so good. he's gonna suffer so much but it'll be good for him I think 👍 anyway I can't help but wonder how things would go down with the whole. obito thing. because I can't help making everything about my favorite insane guy. do you think they'd bond over their love for making kakashi suffer. do you think they'd bond over their shared affinity for chaos. I don't know I just!! think they have so much potential as a duo ANYWAY sorry for rambling have a nice day

DJFBDKDJDJS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE HER???

I'm also kind of in the boat of not especially liking or reading oc centered fics, I think making Ichigo was a bit easier for me than it would have been otherwise bc I really went into it treating her like a plot divice. Still am tbh. I love Ichigo but the story isn't there for her, it's there bc of her. I needed someone to stir shit up and bring up some very specific topics and issues, so she became that. And I fell a little in love with her character along the way

Inevitable tbh, it's probably impossible to write a character that much without finding or molding them into something you can like writing

Kakashi absoloutley deserves to be harassed by tiny children, and now he can't escape bc Ichigo is in his fucking house!! She's gonna bring back more (even tinier) children to harass him, starting with Naruto. He will never know peace.

ITS FUNNY YOU MENTION OBITO BC I ACTUALLY HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN SOME STUFF FOR HIM IN THE FUTURE WHENEVER HES INTRODUCED!!

I have so many notes and plans laid out for One Step Three Steps u don't even know

Anyways spoilers for the eventually Obito introduction in the fic, take a snippet for his introduction (it's liable to change tho, we won't be seeing Obito for a while in the fic)

"I . . . am Madara Uchiha."

Ichigo opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.

Finally, in her flattest voice, she went, "No you're not."

The imposter paused, then shook his head and gave a sinister chuckle. It was a decent enough imitation but she'd seen Hashirama give a better Madara impression.

While drunk.

"I understand it's hard for you to believe, but the stories of my death were greatly exaggerated."

Ichigo aimed her best impression of Ojisan's unimpressed face at him. Lip curled in distaste and head tilted to stare down at him like he was a bug.

He twitched. It was a pretty good impression. (Better than his Madara one, anyways)

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No. You're really not."

"Yes, I really am."

They stared at eachother, locked in stalemate, till she smirked.

"Ok sure, you're Madara-sama. What's my name then?"

"Um."

"Come on, Dara-chan," she batted her eyes at him innocently. "I'm sure you can remember."

He seemed to regain control of myself, straightening up and giving another echo of what might have been Madara's laugh. If he was a crazy cave hermit who'd decided to inject a gallon of cringe fail evil villain juice into his laughter, anyways.

"Come now, Ichigo, I know it's hard to believe but it really is me."

"Ha!" She shoved her hand towards him, pointing triumphantly. "My real name is Hatake Miko! I gave them a fake when I got here, and if you were the real Madara-sama you'd know that!"

"O-of course, Miko-chan, I was just testing you. I had to be sure you were the real Miko I remembered, after all."

"No, I lied I really am Ichigo." She deadpanned, giving him a little peace sign.

He staggered under some invisible weight, making a noise like a popped balloon.

"I don't usually kill children, but . . ." He mumbled to himself, and she scoffed.

"You don't even have his hair." She squinted at him, feeling insulted om Madara's behalf. "You're pretending to be Madara with hair like that? Have some standards.

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[starry-blue-echoes]

Okay, I just got here. Sorry for intruding and I'm kind of freaking out about part 4 of Star Swap.

Because there are two Jotaros. Why is nobody talking about the fact that there are two Jotaros? Am I missing something??? 

Unless I am completely failing in Star Swap lore, in order to not become super convoluted and insane, a universe is localized to a Swap… probably? Anyway from what I understand three universes have an event happening in them and Star Swap is a series… except there's also an OLDER Jotaro here in Part 4! which would be the same Jotaro that experienced part 4 as Josuke! Which is causing problems in my brain.

… I was thinking it's either Joseph and Giono is the exception -Thanks to Hermit Purple Rrequiem- and swaps actually jumps across universes making Older Part 4 Jotaro have that Canon backstory.

…Or… hear me out..

 JoJo

 Specifically, Jotaro gets some of that Time Jumpy Amnesia and has not a single fucking clue what happened to himself.

JUST HIM 

No one else

He is the sole one that gets bonk with a forgot stick

For all Jotaro knows: he blacked out, got possessed, and went to Egypt. Everything went well. His mom got cured and people survived, but STILL. said person that possessed him made a bunch of friends and now Jotaro has to deal with them. HE has to rely on other people's information to figure out what the hell HAPPENED.

Jotaro still gets that Battle Experience in and gets those cryptic forgotten fog of memories from the trip But Yeah

Jotaro has no idea what happened to him when that guy was possessing him. Jotaro doesn't know! he doesn't remember shit!!! All people got is theories.

I have a lot of thoughts and this is probably not even an issue.ARGGGG

.. I'm here thinking that for The Star Swap parts 3 and 4 to connect in an interesting way is Memory Blockage or else Part 4 Older Jotaro would have to walk on fucking eggshells if something wasn't blocking his memories because if he talks or says anything that doesn't link up then he breaks time. Jotaro's fault for actively getting involved!

Probably. I don't know!!! I'm just thinking!!! 

you're correct, Parts 3 and 4 have been criminally neglected amongst all this chaos, so this is p e r f e c t

to clarify the universe shenanigans of everything: I've always been thinking that each "set" exists in its own universe. 1 and 6, 2 and 5, and then 3 and 4 all exist in their own sort of "pocket universe" just so we don't need to keep track of of all the inevitable changes and how they influence each other

that being said, funnily enough what you've brought up with Jotaro is REALLY close to what I've been imagining too!

Jotaro is So Fucking Lost when he wakes up back home. He feels like complete and utter shit and is covered in more bandages than he's ever had before. The last thing he remembers is his mom leaving after visiting him in the prison cell after he tried to shoot himself with Star Platinum

only...... when did Star Platinum have a name? When had it stopped being an evil spirit?

when had he stopped being scared of it?

Kakyoin and Joseph are of course INCREDIBLY worried by Jotaro's apparent and very sudden shift in personality. And of course, this panic only multiplies when they find they think Jotaro's stand has been changed as well. They immediately think it's a Stand attack......

but then Holly steps forward and denies this. That this is how Jotaro normally acts and more importantly, that she remembers seeing Star in the jail

now, technically this might be bending the rules a little bit, but I think it would be interesting to give Holly some..... memory weirdness. Maybe we can tie it into her Stand somehow, or maybe it's just For The Plot, but Holly has two distinct sets of memories before she collapsed from her illness

One where Jotaro comes home with her, quiet and awkward and open in a way he hadn't been since he was a child. And another where he refused to leave and shot himself in an attempt to goad a spirit hovering over his shoulder

this then raises the incredibly uncomfortable idea that the Jotaro they'd gone to Egypt with was the imposter. That there had been a fake in their midst the entire time and they never knew. Was he working with Dio? Another group? What was his goal? Why had he done it? And of course, the biggest question of all, where was Jotaro the entire time and why doesn't he remember?

because it's obvious Jotaro was somewhere. He has skills and knowledge he hadn't before. He's different, he's grown in some ways, but has receded in others

Electricity and loud sounds terrify him in a way that can't be described as simple fear

they do what they can to help and figure things out, but they can never find any leads. It actually during these investigations that Jotaro decides to start working with the Speedwagon Foundation on the side and "rekindles" his friendships with the Crusaders

(he finds himself drawn to Kakyoin at times. Or to be more specific, he's drawn to his Stand. The colors and shapes and eyes all feel so tantalizingly familiar, and sometimes he finds himself talking to the being as if expecting a response)

years go by, and the fog around his memories stays. It bothers him less as more time passes and he makes new memories with people who had a headstart on their relationship, but there's always a quiet niggling in the back of his mind about what could've happened

and then a decade later he finds a boy with a different face but identical Stand and temperament to match

[panpraja]

Joy as the Inside Out Villain AU or something

I know Joy is a misguided emotion in both movies already but bare with me. Joy as an agent that drives Riley into risky behavior, addictions, dopamine chasing, just to get a drop of Joy again as she enters the horror which can be adult life. I'm only popping back from hermit mode for a second having just finished watching Inside Out 2 and--

"Maybe the older you get, the less joy you feel..."

This a quote that hit hard. It isn't true on any psychological level of course, but many people certainly feel like that as they grow older. We're weighed down by the 'real world' and it can get a bit challenging to navigate the world, as somehow we allow life to become less about our self-development and more about survival and getting by. Long post short, we've seen Joy make bad decisions in the name of, well, Joy continuously. And we as humans do so all the time, chasing that sense of Joy. And as that feeling takes the back seat, Joy could be the emotion in your head that gets you into risky behavior, dopamine addiction, nicotine, drugs. A misguided Joy might realize that outside substances can help bring her behind the wheel again. A misguided Joy might think:

'Hey, Riley really needs this right now, she hasn't been feeling good in a while and this is just a little something. What harm can it do?'

On on hand, Joy keeps re-learning the same mistakes since the first film. Movie one she learned all emotions are important. Movie two all parts of us are beautiful and help us grow. On the other hand---

---as he finds herself in the back seat more and more, to the point where she might not have touched the console for days or weeks as a plethora of new emotions take over, who's to say she won't do other drastic things in order to get Riley out of this joy-less state? Like make Riley quit a job or leave something behind just to feel good? In that case, she might also be misunderstood by other emotions while trying to help Riley make a better life for herself. There are times when it hard to leave a bad situation because of things like financial limitations or the people around us.

Yes, her life might fall apart and it will be difficult for a while, but if Riley quits this place now instead of tolerate forever, we can work towards finding her something she truly enjoys!

To others, this might sound insane. I mean it sounds insane to US when we tell ourselves this sometimes. Here, we might become introduced to emotions like Guilt and Love, emotions which often play a role, along with Fear and Anxiety, in keeping us in joyless situations because it is just 'easier' to tolerate sometimes than take risks and follow your dream. But the longer they postpone, the more 'situations' happen that prevent Riley from taking steps towards change, the more Joy gets Maniacal.

Naturally, after the movie I went to look whether Inside Out 3 was on the way, and again the net is full of theories about Love being the next new emotion or the next villain, or Passion, what have you. But I'm not into that idea at all. Love should always be a good emotion. It can be misguided, true, but I do think that if love was to come around, it would definitely be self-love and I'd rather it be seen as a kind of 'zen' or 'hippie' character that gets Riley to shut down from worrying about anything at all, but not like enui or apathy, and more like the 'lazy' character? I dunno, it's 1 AM, I'm sleepy, but anyway:

Choosing love can be a great message for the next movie.

And that means different things for different people. Choosing love for her close ones in order to stay close to them versus making drastic changes. Choosing love towards herself as a guiding emotion for making those changes. I am out of thoughts now but long midnight thought short: chasing Joy can lead to mad things, should instead focus on self-Love or something something. Good night.

[calekinnieplus]

It is time to sleep and also time to recount what I've read today. I have read quite a bit today as well. 6 ½ hours. Not bad, right? Heh. I've reached chapter 673 and my reading app says I've read 48% of the novel. Very encouraging! ...or not. I won't be able to finish it this month, it seems. Pity. Either way, it's recap time!

The best news first! Sequence 5!! Our boy is a Nimblewright Master! He's a powerhouse! After all that hard work, we see results! He's on the threshold of demigod, oh wow. It's actually insane. And the corresponding abilities are also terrifying. On the surface they're scary, but used by our sharp, experienced Klein, I can't help but feel pity for his enemies.

Next, what also intrigued me was the appearance of Queen Mystic, Bernadette! Really didn't expect her to have had a hand in Gehrman Sparrow's fake identity. And all the other stuff was also surprising. Like, in no way would I have connected new Tarot Club member, The Hermit, Admiral of Stars Cattleya's teacher and mentor with the only other transmigrator Emperor Roselle's daughter, Bernadette. It just seems to be a part of two different stories. And she figured out who Hero Bandit Dark Emperor was, too! She's quite smart. I like her

The third thing I wanted to talk about was the whole night and dream world that happened in the... Sonia Sea, I believe? I can't remember the actual name. Where the mermaids are. Anyway, that whole thing is so... mysterious and historical, to some extent, my gut says we might return here later. Like, the similarities between this "world" and the Forsaken Land of the Gods make me raise an eyebrow, ya know?

But honestly, idk if it's because I'm unfamiliar with Chinese novels or if that's just the way LOTM is, but my predictions don't really seem to work 8 out of 10 times lol. It's great, it keeps me on my toes lmao

Fourth thing! Derrick’s exploration into Afternoon Town! We actually learned about another King of Angels and some snippets that could be clues to the downfall of the Kingdom of Silver. Like, initially when we got into it, I was more impatient to get back to Klein’s storyline, but then shit went down, and I got completely sucked in lmao. Like?? I commend Derrick’s bravery and knowledge to deal with that situation properly. The fact that he's also not as naive as before is also very enjoyable for me. It doesn't make my heart wince in discomfort when I realize he made a decision that could have horrible consequences later. It's not his fault. His circumstances are shitty, yet he's still a ray of sunshine. But! I gotta say, I'm so proud of the fact that he's learning from his mistakes. He's so lovely. I hope the City of Silver will get out of their miserable situation.

Moving on, I gotta talk a lil bit about unlucky Anderson! Honestly, the fact that he survived his ordeal would make him the luckiest of his crew, I suppose. His personality is so funny tho lmao. Whenever Klein’s Gehrman persona is paired up with a chatty person, I am thoroughly entertained hehe. The dynamic is just hilarious! Also, I gotta admit, at first I was as sus of Anderson as Klein was lol. He really had to start off the interaction with a joke that could be horribly misunderstood, huh? Poor guy lmao

Hmmm what else... oh yeah! Frank Lee! Funnily enough, right before his introduction, I saw a post about him and something about milk, with comments being like "I can never look at milk the same way again" and I was so confused. Until the milk scene. BAHAHAH he's so INSANE, what a madlad. And they call GEHRMAN crazy. Like, if it was just some crazy thoughts, sure. A lot of people have crazy thoughts. But that crazy f*cker is actively experimenting, on a boat in the middle of the sea, with his crewmembers as... test subjects to some degree?? I did Not expect him to be like That, LMAO

Well. A lot of unexpected things happen in this novel, I noticed.

And uhhhh yeah, this seems like most of what I wanted to chat about.

Side note, I was scrolling on tiktok and stumbled on a slideshow with the last scene from volume 1, the one where after Klein... "woke up" (revived), he automatically headed to Daffodil Street - home. But unable to go back there, he went and bought a ticket to Backlund. While waiting, he was struck with the need to see his siblings one last time, realizing that's the reason he took a ticket for such a late time. And there he went, stealing a glance at the people he cares about. Seeing them grieve him. After watching on helplessly, he got an idea. The siblings saw a clown running towards them, with colorful face paint. He had a Chrysanthemum, which represented happiness. All they saw... was a happy smile, an exaggerated smile, a ridiculous smile...

AH MAN, I BAWLED LIKE A BABY AGAIN WHEN I WAS READING IT EARLIER TODAY. LIKE, GIVE ME A BREAK, MAN T^T

Yeah. *cough* until next time!

Praise the Fool!

[slovvdived]

omg mgmt is really coming back like it's crazy how they were the very first fandom that got me into this hell site and boom 10 years later i'm still fucking around here after changing my user name a thousand times barely posting anything about them anymore mutuals left deactivated or changed their usernames too i guess there are no more than 10 stans active on here now all the while the band's been growing from tumblr's favorite indie white boys into hermit grandpas and this being only their 5th album also first ever since they left major label to literally and finally go "indie" is so insane but anyway happy mgmt comeback to those who celebrate

[bucket-of-amethyst]

by far, my favorite thing about ur doggification of the hermits is that its highkey helping me try to figure out what my pupper is. shes certainly a mutt, very Creature, and were currently thinking she's some heeler variety? like she's definitely got some heeler tendencies but its hard to tell bc shes a big goofer. and also she is DEFINITELY not a shorthair. a few things that make it tough to tell with her is she has a Really Big & Floofy tail, and all the breeds/mixes that i can find that look like her do not, and her mouth is on the bottom of her snoot like a borzoi. even though her snoot is not particularly long. but it is sloped more than my other dog's?? and more sloped than most other dogs' ive seen.... maybe she does have some borzoi in there??? weve also been thinking border collie bc shes very border collie-esque,,

ANYWAY sorry for the ramble about the Silly, i got distacted and almost forgor to ask, any thoughts on someone being a Black Mouth Cur? my other pupper mentioned is a black mouth cur mutt, and i think it'd suit hypno pretty well! looks-wise for sure, i dont think that needs explanation, but personality wise im not completely sure because i also do not watch hypno but i have seen quite a few interactions with him because I watch xb and from my understanding it works pretty well?? idk its ur au

anyway tldr i am insane about dogs bye

Omg!! Sound like a delightful creeture with lovely snoot!! If she has a big puffy tail she might have some Spitz in her, maybe some kind of Lurcher if she had the sighthound muzzle! This is so interesting bc i while learning about breeds i tend to do the same. My aunt has a mutt i think she might have a bit of collie/heeler in her too. And i think it mostly shows by her intense need to bark and white collar-like markings on her neck kdjrjt ig well never know but it's fun to try figuring out!

And ohh i never heard of that breed! Looked it up and it doesn't even have a wiki page in my language to see if the translatd name would ring a bell. It does look like it suits Hypno for looks tho!!! I really like it! :0 But i do have to say i was looking for a dog with brindle/markings coat so i can play with a pattern that's like.. "hypnotizing" dljdkffk but i genuinely liked the looks of this one! It's going on the list!

Don't mind the ramble i also love rambling about puppers <3333

[tribow]

Okay! So...I'm caught up on Cheating Detective Satori right now. I've been having trouble putting my thoughts together on it so far, but I wanted to at least discuss a little bit where the cliffhanger currently is right now. Spoilers up to Chapter 27 below

So, it has been established that there is currently a barrier around Myouren Temple right now. Everyone inside is locked in and those outside are having trouble viewing inside of it (as seen from Hatate panicking of course.)

The Myouren crew + Kogasa, Aya, Reimu, Marisa, and Flandre (for some reason) are all currently inside the barrier.

Not a lot has been revealed about what's going on right now, but I have my own theories. For one, I don't think Mizuchi created the barrier. At no point has it been revealed that Mizuchi can do any kind of barrier technique. I'm not denying the chance that she could do it for a reason I'll explain later, but I doubt Mizuchi is behind this barrier.

There are multiple characters in touhou more than capable of making a barrier like this. Every hermit is capable (especially Miko), Lunarians (highly unlikely to involve themselves in this), Okina (probably???), and Sanae just to name some. There's two ways this barrier could have been set up: Mizuchi possessed someone to preemptively erect a barrier to prepare, or someone decided to trap everyone inside to keep Mizuchi at bay. I can see the latter happening for sure as Mizuchi is way too hard to track and we know she's trapped in there too since she was at some point possessing Byakuren.

With Flandre being revealed to be there for reasons unknown, I actually have suspicions that Patchouli made the barrier. The Scarlet Devil Mansion gang would absolutely involve themselves into solving this incident after being the first to get attacked. It's hard to imagine Remilia just sitting down and taking the L after what happened and Flandre would be more than happy to participate. I could be wrong though. Flandre could have acted entirely on her own here, or maybe she's working with Mizuchi (highly doubt she's possessed right now)

Ah, but there's a secret third option, and I only thought of this after seeing this panel:

Reimu knows Mizuchi. It has been said that Mizuchi is antagonizing Reimu specifically as well. Mizuchi must have some history with Reimu personally or with the Hakurei Shrine itself. I'm more likely to believe it's the latter vengeful spirits are remnants of the past anyway. So here's the incredibly unlikely third option that I am mostly suggesting as a joke:

Mizuchi is a vengeful spirit of a previous Hakurei shrine maiden.

This....that would be insane, but it would explain Mizuchi inexplicably having the ability to do barrier techniques because you who else can do that? Reimu can, except Reimu isn't the type to do contingency plans so there's no way she made that barrier herself.

Now again, this is a joke. Mizuchi doesn't have "Hakurei" in her name which already somewhat breaks that theory, and it's way more likely that she just has bad history with the previous Hakurei miko. The fact that she has history with the Hakurei shrine in general is super interesting though. Mizuchi may end up being a glimpse into Hakurei's past and that is not something we have gotten out of touhou for the longest time.

Well, that's all I got to say about that, I might be able to put together my thoughts about how this story is going so far later. For now, I am enjoying the read at least.

[solardick]

So what cards to use?

Serpent comes back. Dove is flying.

Mission impossible.

Mother, i’m afraid.

It’s the cir_cle🎶 the circle of li_fe.

Is this what you need dear?

What is it that i owe?

A crow is where violence ensues. Harm. Death. The distant is closed in the now. With it all intent from the external. It means loss. Ravens well. Are a little more human. We say that its time. Prepare yourself. Its a hit. But when it happens with complexicity. You know extra attention is paying name. And i always fail. I don’t listen. The external wont leave me be. Im sorry if your trying to help me. You are the best moments of my life. And i look to you. And i know theres love. Its too bad that word is so god damned contaminated with bs. That one is afraid to say it. It not being hyped. Its always hyped. Its always spelt with a capital letter. People are stupid.

And im an alien.

As is the dragon. Not American. It’s not attached to all that sin bs that american dragons are. Its more of a Japanese dragon. A mix of creatures. As is the spirit. Here less formed to that of an image of man. Same goes for the hindu’s description of life. Foe whatever that god’s name is. I like it.

The dove is tied with the dragon here as positive social involving strong and confident eye contact. Which creates a bit of a stir between two. And engages active participation. All unease is vacant. And trust on a leaF of fate. Not knowing where the wind will blow.

All life does. Is attack it. Attack attack attack. Attack. Bleed. Attack.

Randy’s Japanese toilet.

Ok so now im changing partners. With the little effeminate foreigner. I still lose. Still on script. Ugh.

Ok fine ill go full woman.

I font need to have any initiative i can be a lazy worker.

Il’ fuck the next guy that cums on to me. Go back to beign eight again. Maybe itll be his brother. I want a strong body pressed up behind me. Take care of me. Do nice things for me. And you can own me. Its all i know anyway. Being owned. They ain’t going to stop. Might as well. You’re no stranger. Give in to the lie. Maybe they’ll leave you alone. And stop hurting you. Give up the dream of ever having a family. Theres is no mother. There is no father. There is only childhood. Thats all its been for all these last years. Being shipped around. Owed. Beaten. To insanity and then passified. And raped.

May i get off this abusive fucken script now!? How many more peoplw want to line up and take their next turn?

In all those years. All fucken twenty or so only one person ever insisted and asked me what. One person. I. A way that wasnt aggressive or violent. Sll the violence is dtillt here. By ny fucken entourage. Leave me aline i cant fucken do it. Jesus fuck raoe your families.

Oh no! I got pressed and stressed at saying soemthig. Stupid again. Punish me. Build your own excuses.

What can one inject a chromozone into some one?

So i have to sabotage. Bye bye sunshine. Your a fake summer anyway. Still covid. Get out your mask and be conditioned to avoid everyone. And live the hermit.

Now i got some more cigs to smoke. Odd’y enough my lung isnt hurting. Chain smoked a pack. Scrounging butts. Alright. Oo card lets start my new life as estranged. While i wait on the in reasing depressiob to knowck me out of functionality again. Back yo square one and 20 more years of vegetation while being mistreated. Maybe ill goninsane again and i can get raped and passified again. For the miliionth time.

So the next p’ace i go to you gonna send other girls to sexuàlly harrass me and after i take the proper steps victimize me as the villain. Its becoming repetative. Where your imagination?

No stay home. What? Look dispointed im grttingg fucked with and now im sick. Look disapoited. What the fuck ever nan.

Im going back to bed and wait to see if im a member og the health and safety commity. Its its not just an insult. To have that posted now. The second i wàk inside i start choking almost puking little poor sleep coupelf with chain smoking an fthe recent griup endeavered fucking with me. Im out. Ok. Fyck off.

Consodering the union rep. Is best froends witha drug dealee. Doesnt inspire too mych confidence or trust. Oh no! Im intimidated. Or the drug dealer spazzing out and cowering everytime i raise my gand to through a peice of paper in the trash or the hippy mexican guy eho also told me he was a drug dealer. Both freak out. And engrandize my negaitve reactions. And yet. Im the one who gets hit by them. Yeah. Ok. Fuck you. Think im going to go all full core serioal killer violent on yous. What. Ao and then i get damage for the dame behavior others have done unto my all my life? Yeha ok. Sure why not. Its the guy driving hi s wife to the hospital that gets pulled over by the cops. While the drunk driver ahead of them. Keeps going. Serrounded by criminals victimizing me into being punished. Yap. Fuck life.

Of course im being herded. Who else whould i chose to work with. Within the limited options available. Its not me choice. It was already mande for me. Fuck rhe foreigners is probably a bigger criminal than the others combined gor all i k ow.

Born in a life serrounded by criminals. No wonder my dragon gets raped.

« As wise as a serpent. And as harmless as a dove. «  the bible. Uh, isnt that cool. I just saw that on greyhound. That was good movie. I watched it twice. Today. But thatd life. You find yoru way and then they rape it. And dump it out. Reaving with hatred. And rhen you need to be corrwcted while the laugh at you. Well that’s how i was raided atleast.

Im going to go massage my prostate with the hand’e of my toilet plunger. Later.

Oh no, easter id comming another holiday. Thats means another collective fuck you to me.

No iill try and go see Mother therapist once inknow i own my own life. And aint consistently p’aced with the criminal or the degenerate.

[tybysis]

10:11 pm

Hey Ty, it’s been a bit! So we’re going to try and do a FIVE YEAR update. Which is kind of insane, but I’m 27 now - that is so many more years than I thought I’d be alive. We’re going to be 30 in three years. Holy shit. 

Chronologically speaking, the updates are thus: 

-Gem and I dated for a year. It was my first relationship, and it was both the most amazing thing I felt at the time, and all kinds of awful. Mags and I remained friends somehow, but I left that part of the friend group and started only hanging out with Gem, Josh, and Curse. Eventually we started a group chat that was just us, and Rhys, and Brendon. I think it was called Therapy Gang Gang? The point of it was that none of us but Rhys was in therapy and we all needed it. That being said, in the year or two that that group chat was a thing, I don’t think any of us in there got therapy. Lol.

-The short of it is that Gem - who transitioned after our relationship, she/her, goes by Sapphire, I gave her the nickname Gem and everyone always uses the nicknames I give lol - was someone who we would have an argument, they would promise to change, and then in a month or two they would go back to doing whatever it was with no memory of the prior conversation. They never made me a priority. They never seemed to care. When I paid for them to visit me, I paid for the hotel we stayed at and all, planned things for us to do, got off work, all that. But I knew from the moment I saw her step off the plane that I wasn’t actually into her. Because I almost left her there. I saw her, and I recognized that she was shorter than she said she was and that she looked almost completely different in person, and I didn’t like how she looked. But, I was sure that it would get better. It didn’t. She brought $500 cash from her father to use and didn’t use any of it except at the Franklin Institute, where she made a big deal about me asking for $5 chicken fingers instead of a $3 hot dog - with $500 in her pocket. She never bought me gifts, she never actually seemed to think of me as anything other than a person that was there to give her attention. Which sucked.

-During that is when Josh admitted to having feelings for me. He was 18 then, and I’d never thought about him that way because he was a baby. He asked me if I was happy in my relationship, and I broke down on call with him and ended up breaking up with Gem later that week. Our friendgroup stayed relatively together, but I social distanced from Gem. They had a new favorite player anyway by then - Rhys - and within a month of me breaking up with them, Rhys was dating them. They lied about it at first, with Rhys announcing on tumblr that they had a new girlfriend, and then when I asked for details they were cagey about it. After I think a day or two I just flat out asked if it was Gem, and they said that it was. I felt so absolutely betrayed. I was devastated. 

-There are a lot of things that were going on then. Like, for example, at that point Rhys was living with me, they were sleeping on my bedroom floor on an air mattress. They brought roaches into my apartment. They drowned their hermit crab while they were here. They were in an abusive situation and I got them out of it, but living with them was the absolute worst. Eventually, Josh moved up here and for a small while me and him and Rhys were all in the same bedroom, then Rhys got a place in Norristown for a bit. Now they live with Kit, from Eastern. They’ve got a few books out and writes for podcasts now. I don’t talk to them, have them blocked on twitter and tumblr, and have essentially went no contact.  There was a lot of emotional labor I did for Rhys over the years, and I don’t regret any of it, I just can’t do it anymore.

-There was a friends with benefits named Ben. Did I write about Ben here? The timing of it all is kind of wild to me. I dunno man. 

-In the middle of the night, mom and I left dad. We took all our stuff and just left while he was working and moved to a new apartment almost an hour from Royersford. We’d had bedbugs and the whole deal was unlivable, but I moved. Stayed in classes and did guard that whole time. I’m STILL doing Light Brigade, actually. I’ve done it every year since I joined. Rookie of the Year! -The new apartment is how Rhys and Josh lived with us, but it was originally just me and mom and Aereal. There’s a lot of ups and downs to living here, but it’s better than dad’s old place. He’s moved since. 

-Adjusting to a safe environment for the first time was hell. I mean it. There were a lot of mental breakdowns. It would have done me very well to remember that you were here, Ty, but I didn’t. I suffered through it. There’s a metaphor about a fire behind a closed door, that being somewhere safe is like opening that door and letting in the oxygen, and that all the things you kept behind that door rush out and burn everything. It was a lot like that. 

-I don’t really remember anything for the first few months after moving in except that I was getting up and going to classes, going to guard, doing the things I did back then. I had always fought my ideation with busy work - that’s why I joined Color Guard in high school. I had a day where I thought about the bath tub for too long, and I knew that soon enough the emptiness of doing nothing would be what I succumbed to and that my passive suicidal tendencies wouldn’t be so passive anymore. So I filled my scheduled with band and kept filling it - I worked at A.C. Moore (transferred to the one down here when we moved), I took three or four classes, I did Light Brigade on the weekends, I did theater production on some weekends, and then to spend time with friends when I got home late, I would hop onto a discord call for a dnd session and then pass out. It was so so much. I don’t fill my schedule like that anymore. Thanks, pandemic.

-My first priority when Josh was here and had moved in (it was mom’s idea of all things, Josh moving in. I would NEVER be like “I’ve been dating this guy a month, let’s move him in!”) was to get therapy. And I did. I’ve had therapy consistently since around my birthday that year. Whatever year that was. I remember cause my intake appointment was during Gem’s second visit here, where she and Rhys made me and Josh feel absolutely awful while hanging out at the mall, and Gem messaged me about how they had cum almost instantly and didn’t satisfy Rhys at all. I was a good friend then - I didn’t say “what like it’s hard”? As someone who has slept with Rhys adfjlaksdhf - and I had bought Gem a stuffed animal as a gift of friendship for while they were visiting. They handed the stuffed animal to Rhys right in front of me in the living room. I don’t talk to Gem anymore. 

-Mags and I are still friends. It’s rough sometimes, but we still do Wednesdays. Every Wednesday we watch something together. If nothing else, it is proof to me that relationships are work and that if you put in the time, the relationship CAN work. If you want to. 

-I eventually joined a server with my best friend in it. Her name is Kitty, and she is currently Curse’s wife. I decided that I wanted to be Kitty’s best friend, and so I am. I know everything about the characters she lets me interact with, I love her deeply, and I can’t wait to live with her. 

-Our gameplan for our future is called The Secret Base. It’s a house where me, Josh, Aza, and Kitty live. And Curse. If he can prove that he can be responsible. I don’t know if he will or not. For Kitty’s sake, I hope he does.

-I was never really close friends to Curse, or Korre as they used to go by, but according to him I was one of his best friends. This confused the shit out of me, but it’s far from the first time that someone has told me they thought we were closer than I thought we were. Relationships are kind of fucky. But, as I got closer to Kitty, I started to like him less and less. He did a lot of things that made me angry - he’s brushed Kitty’s hair with the carpet brush even though she is a germaphobe, he’s told her that he hates her parents more than he loves her, and just… so many things that were disregarding her comfort and undermining even as he swore he was doing everything FOR her. And then, at the end of last year, a bit before Christmas, he was fired for stealing a gift card. Rather than fuss up about it, he didn’t tell anyone, and continued to drive down the mountain like he was going to work. He bought himself a year of Playstation Plus knowing that they wouldn’t have any money for groceries or rent. Luckily, because they live with Kitty’s parents, they weren’t immediately homeless. But in any other situation they would have been, and that is why I can’t live with Curse unless he proves himself. Inviting in someone who has done that and expecting them to hold up their end of the bills would be stupidity, and I’m not going to risk my home, or the homes of my friends. 

-We came up with the solution that Curse is going to move up here when Kitty does. Kitty will be moving in with me and Josh, and Curse will be moving up here with Aza. If Curse can manage his finances for a full year - which is just the length of a lease - by himself, then he proves that he can be responsible. If he can’t, and he fucks it up, then Aza has the safety net of moving in with us, and Curse is just S.O.L. I worry about how that would effect Kitty, but I will simply plan as though he will be successful. Since we were told what Curse did, I have been doing my best to be no contact with him as well. I don’t respond to his messages in degeneral - which is the general chat of our discord - I don’t talk to him when I can hear him in vc, and I hadn’t responded to the two messages he made since letting me know that I have no obligation to forgive him and that he is trying to be better. However, I can’t really go no contact with someone who lives with Kitty. She’s my best friend, and Curse can just walk into the room with her and start talking. It jumpscares me every time he does. I realize that I would not and do not feel safe with him around, even if it’s just in vc, but I am willing to work on it if he can prove that he won’t get us all evicted. I don’t know how it’ll pan out, but I am hopeful, and just have to trust that the universe will rearrange in order to do what needs to be done, whatever that ends up meaning. 

-I will add a note here that Kitty says that Curse has been getting better. He is in therapy and on three different meds. He seems better. But seeming better isn’t enough for me. He has to BE better. It might be a rather irrational line in the sand, but it’s my line, and it’s staying there.

-Josh and I are together still, and it’s been three years. We’re a team, though sometimes it’s rough. Kitty and I often mention that we allow our S/Os to do things that we would be furious with if the other’s S/O does it. Josh was finally able to get medicated and he’s in therapy, and I’m still in therapy too. He’s been improving a lot since starting his meds, and I can tell that he’s happier. Throughout these last years, Josh has been a lifeboat. He moved in just before the pandemic and then was stuck here with me regardless. He and I have worked on things through our relationship and made compromises to keep it strong. There are days where I don’t quite know what I’m feeling, whether or not my attraction is romantic or platonic, and whether or not anything is wrong with that. I’m going to talk to Josh about it when I come to more of a conclusion. We’re both poly as well, which is just to say we’ve had a few conversations about who we would be okay with being in our polycule, and who we wouldn’t be. I love Kitty bunches, for example, but I can’t be in a polycule with Curse. Neither can Josh. So that’s that I guess. 

-Kitty and Aza came and stayed for a week for my birthday this year, and it went amazingly. They saw me perform my last show of the season in Wildwood, I drove us home, and we relaxed and hung out together. It really did just show that living together would work. Kitty and I slept next to each other and it was really nice. I sleep in a bed tent now, and she and I did it like the amish - no touching askdhjlfakjdshf. We were also supposed to cuddle up, but never ended up doing so despite talking about it three times. It made me think about how we make fun of our characters sometimes, because it was like two bottoms - no one made a move. I think that’s really funny, actually, but there will be plenty of time to cuddle in the future. We only have the rest of our lives.

-I have realized that when it comes to physical affection, I’m kind of like a minecraft cat. If someone tries to touch me, I instinctively move away from them or kind of dodge or get jumpscared. But if they don’t, I will eventually move over and start giving them affection. The trip with Aza and Kitty here was amazing. I had faith that it would go well, and it really really did. We went rollerskating, went to the art museum, did an escape room, saw the D&D movie, went for a walk, ate at a diner, and also just chilled in the living room and watched movies. It was a great week. I am extremely blessed to have the friends I have. 

-Kitty is plus sized, and she has long brown hair and really pretty eyes. Her voice is soft and musical, and though she is very anxious, she is also extremely assertive once she knows what she wants - or more accurately, knows what someone she cares about wants and knows she can get it for them. She is funny, and she has made an amazing world and cast of characters for a manga she plans on writing. She is also probably the kindest, most thoughtful person I know, and it is a crime that the people around her don’t tell her how amazing she is every day. Despite her kindness, though, she does have a mean streak, a love of a german word I cannot spell or say that starts with Sch- a delight in seeing the minor misfortunes of others, once that other has wronged someone (as long as the someone isn’t her, I guess). We roleplay every day in a server I made for me and Josh ages ago called the Secret Server, where we do text rp just like I used to do on HR. Kitty was also someone who RPed through the worst years of her life, just like me, and so we can basically rp through anything. She is wonderful and beautiful, and I am so so lucky that I was able to meet her and spend time with her and become her best friend. There were a lot of chances to not meet her - if I hadn’t joined Chris’s art stream back in 2015, if I hadn’t been attempting to watch Critical Role and ended up talking about wanting to try D&D, if I hadn’t met Gem and Josh and Curse and Al in that server, if the friendgroup hadn’t completely imploded, if I hadn’t dated Gem and then broke up with her, if I hadn’t agreed to join Curse’s wife’s campaign… there are so many things that had to go the way they did to get me where I am. And they did. Things went both right and terribly wrong in ways that taught me lessons, and I ended up the luckiest person in the world with the best best friend a person could ask for. I think about how happy I am just to be able to sit in vc with her almost every day. When she was here, I actually felt like I had in highschool around Carlee - an awareness of her even when I wasn’t looking at her, knowing what makes her anxious and trying to subvert it, knowing what makes her laugh and trying to do more of it, being nervous standing next to her if I didn’t know what to do, being nervous even when I did. The happiness paired with buzzy butterflies when I held her hand at the airport, the way everything seemed better when she smiled, bro what can I say? Even the absolutely mortifying fact that I asked her to hand me my phone three separate times from the instinct to check in on her - her who was ALREADY RIGHT NEXT TO ME, her who was HANDING ME MY PHONE - was funny when she grinned about it. I feel so happy hearing about her hyperfocuses - she knows so much about buying things from japan, she’s a collector, her favorite anime is FMA, her favorite color is green, her favorite sandwich is tuna from subway with american cheese, “a g string” of lettuce, olives, “a good bit” of pickles, “a good bit” of onions, and mayo, after letting it sit in the fridge overnight to get soggy. She loves sour candy and pickles and prefers sour and bitter to sweet. Everything she creates is just fantastic, from art to characters to worlds. My brain is full to bursting on facts about Veroica and Veronica’s worlds and characters, and I just want more information. I remember this feeling, and I remember what it means. 

-Anyway time to mention the autism. I have autism. Idk if it’s EXTREMELY CLEAR from my journaling or anything, Ty, but I am super autistic. The first time I thought about it was after a tryptophobic meltdown I had at age 6, back on Whitaker Ave, the haunted house. I shrugged it off and kept it pushing and it makes so many things in my life make sense now. I took the Radz-R, which is one of the diagnostic tests. I scored a 147. This is the same thing that Edman - who used to be Jiah - scored, and got formally diagnosed. Aza scored the same, and Kitty scored ten less. Josh also scored pretty high on it, as did Miranda. Did you know that 80% of autistic people who are AFAB are undiagnosed? Sure feels that way. The rise of tiktok and twitter for adhd / autism communities is really great, even if people are being weirdos about it. If tumblr taught me anything it’s how to curate my online experience. Blocking is free. Shinigami Eyes is also free, which makes it easier to block people. I simply would not engage. 

-I also make art now!!! At the beginning of the pandemic I bought myself an ipad and apple pencil with my stimulus check, and it was one of the greatest things I could do for myself. I did it to make sure that I had something self indulgent, something to do just for me, and after a brief attempt at commissions I decided to keep art that way. I draw what I want to draw when I want to do it, and it makes me so happy to see the improvement I’ve made after drawing so often for a few years now. I started in 2020 and it’s 2023. Time sure ain’t real. 

-As far as sexuality, I think I’m ace or demisexual, but I know I’m hypersexual with high libido. I am just this way. I’m also a switch, but only because I’m lazy and bossing people around is bothersome. Shikamaru style. So I just tell Josh to top and he does. Because he’s a bottom. Lmaoooo 

-Romatically I wonder if I’m aromantic sometimes, but it comes and goes. I think what it is is that the things that are supposed to mean romantic attraction do not really mean anything to me. But! That could just be the autism. I have always been someone who could see myself living the rest of my life with whomever my closest friends were at the time. Supporting them, living with them, getting to see them every day… What is love but that?

-I don’t really know what else to say. Jess and I have seen each other a few times, hung out, played some overcooked, watched some anime. It’s always nice to see her. My sister, perfect teacher, published poet, Jessica Ram. I am so proud every time I see a tweet or tiktok (she’s tiktok famous!!! Didja know? lol) with her in it. She also seems happier. I’m glad - it’s what she deserves. It’s what we both do. 

I’m almost thirty. I keep thinking about it. I thought I would be dead tomorrow for a long long long time, until one day I didn’t. I am surprised I lived to being 20, but 27??? It’s so crazy. And I’m realizing that maybe, at 30, I’ll be living my life in a way that makes me truly happy. My friends I love close enough to visit on a whim, the ability to knock on my best friend’s bedroom door and bother her just whenever, knowing that everyone in the house communicates clearly so that no one is confused or misinterprets anything. I know that my brain is different, but it’s always been this way, and I want to be able to know I am happy and living even if I don’t make a lot of money or get famous or well known. My stories are important even if I only ever tell them to my friends. My characters are loveable even if only my inner circle meets them. 

Honestly, Ty, I am in awe that I am alive and happy and able to feel this much emotion. Do you remember that I used to not feel anger? I didn’t recognize it for what it was? Well, with therapy and a shitty manager back at BJ’s - which I worked at and now I work from home??? By the way??? I sell medical insurance??? I’m licensed in 29 states??? - I do recognize it. Now I’m angry for those I care about all the time. I have new rage and what we call The Old Rage. My cardinal sins are pride, and lust, and wrath. 

Because I do not hate myself anymore, actually. I do not apologize for feeling things very often anymore, and I’m great. I am an amazing addition to anyone’s life. And those who have stopped talking to me lost out on me. That’s on them. 

I’m so happy to still be alive.

-Kay

[doodl3]

Im branching off from this idea because I got very inspired, Im not changing anything of yours this is just my thinking. Tango and Jimmy should be switched. Just from my speculations of past seasons, Tango was the hermit in s8 who was blown off the moon into space, where everyone believes he perished. Jimmy, of course, is the CodFather of Empires s1. We can easily twist the codfather design to make it an mutated deep depths creature. Branching from Tango getting blown into space from the Big Moon, perhaps he had a built in safety protocal to encase him in like a time capsule so he can safely drift through space. His suit may be damaged, but the capsule freezes everything in there- so injuries are sustained. Flash forward a couple centuries and we have a capsule that breaches an aquatic planet-- and floats. All of my logistical thinking tells me that lighter objects will move faster in space! So it floats. It floats until water gets into its programming and short curcuits, opening the tiny vessel. Thankfully, there is breathable air. How would there be oxygen in a landless planet? The answer, my dudes, is Phytoplankton. Or at least, alternated/mutated versions of it. You see, undersea creatures on Earth need air. Yes, Air. Oxygen is absorbed into the water, which they filter through their gills and turn it into carbon dioxide, just like us. If there is no oxygen in the atmosphere, then there is no absorbed oxygen in the water, and all fish kind will die. Why I say phytoplankton, though, is because they produce 80% of our oxygen. So Im thinking there are larger, more terrifying versions the deeper down you go, because there is no light that reaches the depths- therefore, no plant life. Unless- Its a whole different planet, what am I saying? We dont need oxygen! Well.. Tango does.. So maybe there ARE things that consume carbon dioxide in the med-depths, and the deeeeper you go, the more gravity is pushing on you anyway. So we have insane elderitch fish down there anyways that survive on wisps of oxygen that come and go, though they may hang around filters. Im talking like, vents from spongebob barnacles, cuz thatd be cool. Im also thinking there are like, huge plateaus from gigantic lillies, similiar if not related to kelp forests, that have a habitat above and below, where creatures granted the ability to breath through lungs may venture. So thats where Tango lands.

He meets creatures who do not understand his tongue. Being Tango, he invents scuba gear out of what he can find! Only to have it fail and he looses consciousness from the sheer panic of the thought of drowning. Except the water is so rich with oxygen, he can breathe it, so he drifts down down down until a strange being has taken curiousity as to what this (blacked out) alien is doing down in these depths???? (this is actually a reaction a lot of people have when they think they are drowning in a liquid that can be breathed. I dont know the name, but they would use it to torture information out of people)

And then he wakes up on the plateu again. But now, he feels like hes being watched.

ranchers au idea before i go to sleep

iv e gotta go to bed like really soon but before i go take another au idea that may or may not have shreds of its beginnings already typed up in my notes:

Astronaut jimmy crash lands on a planet thats 100% ocean, meets eldritch-corrupted former 50s style deep sea diver tango miles and miles beneath the surface

cause if ya think about it the deep sea and space arent that different...

astronaut Jimmy, grew up just before a hypothetical space age absolutely OBSESSED with space, now is an adult and can explore the stars; he wants to leave earth and just be out there free, loves nothing more ("astronaut" somewhere between the style of star wars and style of what we have today, space travel is available to the public but not revolutionized yet, still dangerous and a bit crude, think modern space aus but you have to wear a space suit, ships and tech are on the clunkier side and we still havent discovered/have just barely discovered extraterrestrial life)

deep sea diver* Tango landed/lived on an ocean planet a long time ago and slowly became more and more corrupted, turned more into one of those horrifying deep sea creatures (sea maybe not a traditional one, maybe with conditions just a tiny bit more plausible for stuff to actually live there. but still. like. 10x as horrifying as whatever we've dredged up outta the mariana trench)

(*i wanna lean into the 'most horrifying eldritch abomination youve ever seen in your life thats like that because its living miles and miles beneath the sea', but i also wanna keep the whole 50s deep sea diver outfit/vibe as someone who left their planet to go somewhere terrifying and dark because it suited them better. and he stays there!! for reasons i guess!!)

IM GONNA ADD ON TO THIS LATERR BUT ITS LIKE 2 AM I HAVE TO GOOO BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

(FEEL FREE TO ADD ONTO THIS AS WELL?? I HAVE MY OWN IDEAS BUT I LOVE TO HEAR YALLS!)

[archetypal-archivist]

Tommyinnit and Hermitcraft- Heartstone

So this builds off of the whole "Tommy has somehow found himself on Hermitcraft after the exile arc" thing that got really popular with @redorich and @petrichormeraki on tumblr. Basically it's an excuse to give Tommy therapy and 20+ parent figures. One thing that's a common thread in those stories is that Tommy is shocked that Hermitcraft has infinite respawns and all of the hermits are quick to reassure him that he really won't perma-die in their world. And I had the thought- well, what if he wasn't in their world anymore? And thus came forth 1500+ words of angst~

It begins like this. Evil X is stuck in the void, alone and with no one to talk to. He misses daylight, he misses touch, he misses hearing voices other than his own. One day, he sees something get shot through the void as if by slingshot, leaving a trail of code in its wake, tethering the whatever it is back the way it came. This is Tommy, and while he begins to get adjusted to Hermitcraft and company, Evil X watches as the string of code begins to imprint itself into the void, and eventually learns that he can interact with it, albeit only on the most superficial of levels. On Tommy's end, he slowly begins to heal from his time spent in the war zone that is the Dream SMP, making fast friends with Grian and several of the other hermits in the process. He goes pranking with his newest, winged older brother figure, laughs at the antics of Impulse, Tango, and Zedaph, builds a cobblestone tower with BDubs, etc. But for all that he's healing, such a process isn't linear. No one on the server can truly understand just what sort of stuff he has been through, and so he often finds himself alone, trying to deal with his wildest emotions by talking to himself.

One day, however, a little voice in his head starts talking back. It's rough and gravelly and not very nice at first, but it's faint enough that he chalks it up to his imagination and moves on with his life. He follows Stress around like a duckling for a day, plays squire for Welsknight, and has a roaring panic attack after an unfortunate spar with False leads to him getting flashbacks to the Pit with Technoblade. He retreats back to his tower for a good cry, and in the midst of his tears, he hears the voice again. This time it's a bit nicer, sounding unsure and a bit panicky as it tries to encourage him to stop crying, god this is awkward, kid, it'll be fine. Wait, are you a kid? You seem tall for a munchkin.

This time, Tommy knows that it isn't his imagination, but half of his old server seemed to have voices in their heads so he really isn't all that alarmed that he seemed to have developed one of his own too. And he does something that no one else does when Evil X reaches out- he starts talking back. It's rough going, at first, especially since both of them have abrasive personalities, but eventually they settle into a rough estimation of friendship that means more to them then they are willing to say. From Evil X's perspective, this is the first time someone has actually listened to him and hasn't been turned away by his violent streak, his bad manners, and lack of proper social skills. For Tommy, this is a chance to vent to someone who seems to understand his pain. It helps that neither of them are inclined to ask too many questions. Tommy, on his part, has no clue that Evil X is an actual person and not a voice in his head, while Evil X can't bring himself to ask why Tommy has left a trail of code in the void and why it's all so glitched. He especially fears asking about the perma-death clause that seems to naturally have occurred in his code.

He will come to regret this choice.

The day is like any other, at first. He begins his day with a slice of sweet melon and then flies off to whatever hermits are awake at the time to "share a meal with them." Really, it started as an excuse to make sure that Tommy was eating at least one meal day, even in his most dissociative of states, but has since turned into an opportunity to eat weird things in front of people to see their reactions. (Etho is his favorite. He's always up early and half the time, asks to try a bite of whatever Tommy is having. They both agree that spider eyes taste a lot like sour boba.) From there it's off to the shopping district to restock his dirt shop and claim his share of the profits from the hole-digging service he runs with Grian. After that, there's just enough time to complete an order or two and collect more cobble and dirt before he has to meet up with Grian to go on their biweekly End Busting session. The two usually have a lot of fun as they go about it, Tommy jokingly shoving Grian off the platform only for his adopted brother to catch himself and fly up to join him on the narrow platform spanning the emptiness once again. Every once in a while, Grian mock-threatens to do the same in return, but he knows better than to actually attempt it after he did it once and had had to catch Tommy when he started screaming and even after they had gotten back to solid ground, he wouldn't stop for the better part of half an hour.

On habits die hard, after all. Tommy may have been told time and time again by everyone on the server that infinite respawns are a thing, yes really, but he still has a hard time believing it. He actually has a rather insane number of levels racked up- even more than Xisuma, which is impressive- because in all the months that he has been on Hermitcraft, he hasn't died once. It's a combination of survival skills taught to him by Philza and his own paranoia which has kept him alive for so long, and most of the hermits agree that it is rather impressive, if not entirely healthy for him to be so scared of dying. (Doc once offered to kill him as evidence that yes, it really is safe here and you will respawn, but for all that death by crazy redstone machine might of been cool, Tommy took a hard pass on that. Grian low key took exception to Doc offering to kill his adopted little brother, really man? Not cool.)

Anyway, Grian and Tommy meet up in the End and start off bridging with the insane amount of cobble that Tommy has stored up. Usually Tommy is in front, placing the stones, and Grian is in back, watching out for any sign of a slip up, but this time they decide to switch it up a bit, head in a new direction, play around with who's doing what this time. It ends... poorly. They bridge out into the black, on and on and on, farther into the void than they ever have before. Slowly, the islands of floating white stone stop appearing with such frequency, but they become larger in size and stranger in shape. Every once in a while Grian will see what he swears to be a glowing white mountain of Endstone in the distance, although Tommy calls bullshit each and every time. They chalk it all up to bad luck and going nuts from boredom, but really, neither one of them knows how to quit while they're ahead. As the islands disappear altogether and all that remains to orient themselves is the tenuous lifeline of cobblestone beneath their feet, the unthinkable happens.

Grian slips. And Tommy, taught compassion by the very world that will now kill him, reaches out to save him.

For one, brief moment, the two brothers clasp hands- and then Grian's weight pulls Tommy right over the edge and down, down, down into the void below.

Grian fell out of the world.

Tommy fell out of the world... and into a new one.

----

Xisuma wakes up late that day. He's been doing that a lot, if he's honest, given how late he's staying up most nights finishing up builds and the like. Those hours of sleep have to come from somewhere, after all, and he's far from an early bird. He gives into the impulse to relax a bit, drinking some tea sweetened with just enough honey to rot his teeth, and then heads off to his computer room to start up his duties as admin for the day. It's the red lights that alert him to something being wrong, and at first, he thinks it's just one of hermits' cam accounts being buggy again. Perhaps it got shut off while the hermit was bridging through the void and the hermit in question simply hadn't retrieved it yet? But who would name their cam account Tommyinnit? The looming dread sits cold in his gut as he flicks his fingers to open up his admin panel... Best to check, just in case.

The death messages are clear enough- Keralis had just perished to a ravager yesterday, likely Tango's from Decked Out if he had to guess. Zedaph had been slain by a piglin twenty minutes ago. And Grian and Tommy had fallen into the void. But if that were the case... why had only one of them respawned?

On Grian's part, he comes to with a lingering chill deep in his bones and an awful headache. The bed underneath him is warm and the sheets are a soft rosy color, likely one of the ones in Scar's magical village if the persistent smell of spruce is anything to go by. He winces against the light filtering through the window and turns to the side, squinting at where Tommy had placed his blue bed right next to his, apology on his lips for his stupid mistake. The sheets are undisturbed. Huh. That's weird, he could have sworn that he and Tommy had set their respawn points at the same time. Maybe Tommy had just forgotten and he was back in his base or at spawn? Grian rises to his feet slowly, giving his body time to adjust to the colors and sounds of the Overworld, then flaps his wings and takes off to go looking for his Tommy.

He doesn't find him.

---

The reactions to Tommy's "death" are many and varied, although for the most part, the hermits are split into two camps- those that think Tommy is gone for good, and those that think he may still be out there somewhere. For the first few days of Tommy's disappearance, most everyone is in the latter camp. Xisuma spends hours upon hours scanning the code, becoming increasingly more frazzled and terrified as his lack of sleep gets to him. Tango and Doc join him in the endeavor, although none of them have any luck or are able to spot the piece of code that caused the problem. No additions, no changes to the text, nothing. Grian leads the other team, those who set out on foot and one wing and with pick in hand to scour the world for their youngest charge, taken from them too soon. They begin in a grid pattern, setting out in ones and twos to search the whole world, but as the distance increases, the neat, orderly flyovers turn into frenzied boosting as panic starts to get the better of them. Some of them hold onto their composure better than others, but Grian ends up flying over the same patch of forest three times because he can't see for his tears. False, Impulse, Welsknight, and Beef cross the Nether, fighting their way into Bastion after Bastion and leaving Nether portals in their wake. In their tracks comes the fliers- Grian, Ren, Iskall, and BDubs. Each one takes a portal and does a sweep through the corresponding patch of Overworld before picking a direction to continue the search. Cubfan, iJevin, and Scar take to the seas, Mumbo, Stress, xB, and Zedaph to the End, Etho down into the depths of the caves below. Strangely enough, there are a few hermits who don't join the search- Keralis, who got the unlucky task of taking care of Xisuma and the others searching through the code, Tinfoilchef, who doesn't provide a reason but everyone gives him a pass because of his age, and Joe Hills and Zombie Cleo, who refuse to explain themselves.

Eventually, the searches dry up. Eventually, some of the hermits admit defeat. Hundreds of thousands of blocks out from spawn, down to the bedrock below, beneath sea and sky and every place that lacks the sun. How far is too far? For Xisuma, enough is enough. Tommy is dead. The search is over.

He stops looking. And soon, others do the same.

And the tone of the server... shifts.

For the first time that any of them can remember, a person has perma-died. Sure, they've all heard the rumors, of servers where infinite respawns is not the norm, of servers where the world glitched and a creeper is supercharged enough to damage a player down to their code. But they'd never thought that one of their own would be on the receiving end of such a curse. And to the hermits, the possibility of dying themselves suddenly becomes all too real. The constant flying is the first to go, and for those that insist on it anyway (outside of Grian, who has wings), checking the elytras' durability becomes more than just a habit. Eating spider eyes and other junk is out of the question, now it's golden apples or nothing. The Nether is all but abandoned, as is the End, and everyone on the server either groups up so that they are never alone, or retreats into their bases, becoming true hermits befitting of their server's name.

The joy that had once been so characteristic of the server is gone, and in the hearts of all, there lingers the dread that any one of them might be next- although, there are still those that hold on to hope that Tommy may not be as gone as he seems.

---

The hermits who think Tommy is dead for good and have stopped searching: Doc, Etho, Xisuma, Welsknight, Grian, BDubs, Cubfan, TinfoilChef, Stress, False, Iskall.

The hermits who think Tommy is still out there, alive if still missing, and that the search should continue: Keralis, Mumbo, Tango, Vintage Beef, Impulse, Zedaph, Joe Hills, Zombie Cleo, Scar, Rendog, xB.

Doc and Etho are old. They don't like to admit it, but they've been around since the beginning, back when players were first learning how to jump servers and communicator technology was undergoing its first upgrade. They've seen a lot and know well by now that dead is dead. Tommy is dead. All that is left to do is mourn and move on, and they have shed their tears already. Call them cold for it, but in the face of a kind of drive that can keep a man going after his entire server has burnt down around his ears (Mindcrack will be missed), they know they need to keep moving forward. There are enough broken messes on the server these days, and it is through their efforts that shops remain stocked and the torches don't burn out. They hold onto normalcy with an iron grip and hope that some day, the rest of the hermits will join them in rationality.

Stress too has a comparatively healthy approach to all of this. She doesn't want it to be true, god no, but so far everything is pointing in the direction of Tommy being dead for good. She eats a couple dozen bowls of ice cream, has a some good cries, doesn't leave her base for a week, and even afterwards she can't bring herself to wear pink for a while. But she's mourning. She's accepted things. She lets her heart break, and as time passes, she lets herself heal. And that's enough for her.

Scar is of the opinion that Tommy is still out there, and while he clings to that hope with all his might, it's fragile and Cub just knows that his best friend is going to be cut to pieces when that hope inevitably breaks. So he takes Scar aside for a quiet conversation, to break his heart before the world can break it for him. Afterwards, Scar stops talking about Tommy as if he's coming back, but his smile is never as bright as it was before. And Cub's heart breaks too.

Team ZIT swings the exact opposite way as the rest and are firmly of the belief that permadeath is impossible and thus Tommy must be alive. The three of them aren’t known for their impulse control at the best of times, and with so many hermits having given up, the trio is rightfully vicious about the fact that the others, in their eyes, have abandoned their friend. Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango all kind of feed into one another and start doing lots of dangerous stunts, as if daring the universe to permakill them and prove them wrong. If one of them does something, the other two join in and escalate things, which gets impossibly dangerous very, very fast. Tango is furious, Impulse is bitter, and Zedaph is straight up heartbroken that his other friends would give up on another of their number. They do things like fly incredibly high, go cliff jumping in the Nether only to catch themselves at the last minute, and sprint across the End bridges. If they have doubts, they never voice them. Even when Tango feels like he’s burning up from the inside and wonders at his newfound hate. Even when Impulse is utterly terrified but goes along with things anyway because Tango is doing it and he can’t bear to leave a friend alone. Even when Zedaph looks at his friends and can’t help but feel scared of and for these strangers wearing the faces he knows so well. Even then.

Team ZIT often gets dragged into and starts lots of screaming fights with the other hermits who believe Tommy is dead, especially Doc, BDubs, xB, and False. False especially gets vicious, as while pvp is no longer permitted on the server, her tongue is as sharp as any blade. She believes firmly that the others are trampling on Tommy’s memory by insisting that he isn’t dead and she is determined to make them stop. And if they refuse to give up their foolishness? Well, all she might have left is her words but with them she will make them bleed.

xB and Vintage Beef are as close to neutral as you are going to get from those that get into regular arguments. xB thinks Tommy is dead until proven otherwise, while Beef thinks the exact reverse. As some of the more chill hermits, they often get dragged in to play negotiator so that the fights don’t turn physical. And some days, when someone says something particularly hurtful, they’ll close themselves up in one of xB’s bunkers and drink until they can no longer remember why they ought to be enemies. It’s hardly healthy, but they both agree that it’s better this way. Better to forget than to hurt, after all.

Grian is… somewhat the same. Sort of. He was traumatized by Tommy, the boy he adopted as his little brother, dying before his eyes, and he can’t help but blame himself. That is, when he can remember that Tommy is dead at all. After the fall, Grian’s mind was badly broken and he couldn’t accept that his little brother was dead for the longest time. He fell into two weeks of deep depression, barely eating or drinking, and eventually Iskall came and took care of him when he realized that he hadn’t seen his buddy in ages. Iskall nursed Grian back to health, only to feel his heart shatter in his breast when Grian turned to him, eyes feverishly bright and tone childlike, asking where Tommy was. The winged man’s mind couldn’t cope with the loss so it had shut down entirely, making him forget the tragedy that had occured. Iskall had deflected then, frantically trying to figure out what to say, but after a few days of Grian wandering about in a dreamlike state, his memory came back to him and he collapsed in on himself once more. The winged hermit is now locked in a loop of this, while poor Iskall is stuck trying to keep his friend alive and relatively sane.

Iskall, for his part, thinks Tommy is well and truly dead. In part because of his own certainty, in part because anything else would be even crueler for Grian. He doesn’t resent his friend for his break downs, just quietly bundles him up and clutches him close, coaxing him to eat and bathe, to put down the guilt and realize that it’ll be okay, the world won’t end with Tommy gone. He gently tries to nudge Grian down that path of acceptance of Tommy’s fate, and though he faces many setbacks, he tackles each one with a special kind of patience born of platonic love. They’re bros, despite everything. It’s only right.

Mumbo is, weirdly enough, on the side of Tommy being alive. Iskall doesn’t exactly approve and while he and Mumbo sometimes get into whispered arguments over it, they try to keep their little disagreements from Grian. Both of them only want to see their friend happy again, and will do just about anything to make it happen. For Mumbo, this means putting together crazy redstone contraptions to try and find Tommy again, as he’s certain that Grian’s little brother is still out there somewhere- and he has a piece that might prove it. Iskall comes over one day, face drawn and haggard from a night of soothing Grian through another set of screaming nightmares, only to find Mumbo waist high in redstone wiring, all hooked up to a strange portal design that looks too much like Doc’s infinity portal from season 6 for comfort. At the top of the arch is Tommy’s compass, needle whirling about like a hurricane, and while the portal isn’t lit, it does give off a faint blue-black glow. Iskall is frightened that Mumbo is tampering with something that could get him killed and Mumbo rushes to reassure him that no, the compass was specifically linked to Tommy so if Tommy was really dead, it would have been reset, right? He’s merely borrowing that tie to try and figure out where the two ends lead. Iskall is less than sure about this, especially since Mumbo is just as drawn and pale as he is, if a bit more covered in redstone, but they agree that fighting is pointless. They care about each other and about Grian too much to put any of them through that sort of pain- and besides, there’s more than enough fighting on the server already.

Ren too thinks that Tommy is alive and he is one of the ones who gets into regular fights. He’s a lover, not a fighter, but something about this whole situation just burns him up. When the pressure gets too much, he goes flying, tracing over those old familiar trails they searched so long ago, trying to see if there is anything they missed. There never is.

Welsknight has made his peace with Tomy’s death, though the server tends to forget that he and Tommy were closer than most. He alone knew that Tommy was once upon a time a boy called Theseus (a name given to him shyly when Tommy had asked him if there were any great heroes with that name that didn’t die). He alone knew Tommy’s love for horses, or that he would spend hours whispering horror stories to them when he thought no one would hear. Tommy was his squire, and although he had accepted the tragedy, he still wept for the hurt it brought him. He alone knew of the little grave he had dug under the willow tree in his castle courtyard and the headstone he had placed there, engraved with Tommy’s true name, death date, and supposed date of birth. He couldn’t have been more than 17, and perhaps that was what hurt the most. Every morning at dawn, Welsknight brings a bouquet of flowers to that little grave and says a prayer before disappearing into the morning fog. The flowers are always the same- forget me nots, for remembrance, violets, for devotion, and clover. (Think of me).

Tinfoilchef stays out of it- always has and always will. He’s too old to rush about searching or to feel as wildly as the others do. He feels, of course, but more so as the mountain does, steady and strong despite the winds that tear at its surface. Tommy is dead, but then, so are many of the people he has known in his life. It’s best to just keep plodding along.

BDubs is a mess. He had never spoken of it, but long before he had come to hermitcraft, he had had a daughter- a beautiful baby girl whose heart was too big for her chest, and she had died for that difference. He had grieved for years, but eventually the peace of the hermitcraft server had left him soothed, if a bit different than before. Tommy had been another chance at fatherhood, not that he could ever bear to call the teen that, even in the privacy of his own mind. Instead, he had taught the kid to build cobblestone towers that weren’t entirely offensive (if shaped a bit oddly) and had been the first to volunteer any time Grian was out and Tommy needed a place to spend the night when the nightmares were particularly fierce. They had so many fun sleepovers like that, and staring at those awful cobble towers in the distance, BDubs can’t help but bawl his eyes out at the memories. He waffles between taking the towers down or leaving them up- they really are ugly, and the feelings in his chest that they inspire are even more so, but somehow, he can’t bear to see them gone. Instead, he dries his eyes, flies off to grab a shulker of cobble, and sets about adding a few more to their number. A final remembrance for the boy he would have gladly claimed as his own, if only he hadn’t been too late. (He ends up building a lot more than a few).

Joe and Cleo are somehow the only ones who are actually neutral in the whole mess. Whenever they are asked their opinion on if Tommy is truly dead or not, the pair simply smile mysteriously and refuse to comment. Joe always seems to know more than he lets on and Cleo is his closest confidant, after all. Despite the anger and tears directed their way for refusing to commit to either side, the two keep their silence. (They know the truth of the matter, after all. Everything will be okay in time).

Xisuma has given up. Tommy is dead, and there is nothing he can do but spend days and days going over the code with a fine tooth comb, trying to find the glitch that cut the life of their youngest member short. Keralis takes it upon himself to take care of his long time friend, but it’s not an easy task, not when the other is so determined to make sure that such an incident never happens again. And Keralis can’t find it in himself to complain, especially since he is laboring under the impression that Xisuma agrees that Tommy is still out there and is trying to find him. It is only when Keralis mentions it in an aside, thanking the admin for his dedication, that Xisuma breaks the illusion and explains. Tommy isn’t just dead, he says tiredly, his very presence is well and truly wiped from the world’s code. All that is left of him is the faint impression his code had left behind, and trying to read it and understand what went wrong is a bit like trying to read small letters that have been drawn out in dry sand. Even for a voidwalker like himself such a task is near impossible, and Xisuma can only do so much. The needs of the many above the needs of the few- best to secure those he can now than worry over those that are gone beyond his reach. And Keralis can’t help but look at his friend with new eyes, a fleeting sense of betrayal in his heart. He had thought better of his Shishwammy, and he says as much. 

He cries while Xisuma watches on in solemn, mournful silence.

---

TBC  :)

[softieskywalker]

honestly the sequels could have been fixed very easily if tlj wasn’t such a cluster fuck of “ill do whatever the fuck i want” with just a couple of simple plotlines:

-rey had to be luke’s long lost daughter. why? it explains why he was missing at the beginning of tfa: he’s looking for her. he doesn’t want to believe she’s dead, even after years of searching and finding nothing. even leia has given up the search, but not luke (he is and always will be the character that doesn’t give up on family.) but the search has driven him a little insane, at this point he’s kinda desperate. then this random girl shows up, sent by leia to train with luke. luke doesn’t want to train her, he’s told leia that he’s not going to train another generation of jedi to die again. not until he finds his daughter at least (which is an excuse). there you have the whole resented hermit sequence, but change it up. instead of all in a single island, luke jumps from planet to planet in the unknown regions, following clues that lead to nowhere, and rey struggles to keep up. she follows him anyway, she wants to train, she wants to defeat kylo to avenge han and protect finn.

- rey still has a force bond with kylo but it’s because of their familial relationship. she’s the only one in the family who kylo doesn’t consider himself betrayed by -she was just a kid when the temple burned. revelation: it was kylo who put her in jakku. he killed his classmates, but he wasn’t able to kill his little cousin. so he hid her, erased her memories, and gave her a new name. he promised he would come back for her, when the galaxy was in order. there you have explanation of why kylo asks “what girl” like he knows her, and why rey is waiting for her family to come back for her. you have there the explanation of kylo’s remaining light, that light that calls to him: it’s rey who has been calling out into the stars for years with no answer. 

- luke finally relents and trains her. he sees himself on rey, how he had to insist to yoda to train him. you can insert here all his thoughts about the old jedi order, about how he tried to do things differently and still failed. how he thinks this is the end of the jedi. you can also insert here hopeful rey saying she won’t fail him, but luke isn’t a trustful kid anymore. he trains her but keeps her at an arm’s length. 

- because of that, he holds back on her training. rey eventually confronts kylo and loses, and he reveals the truth to her. rey has her identity crisis and world shattering moment. have the next movie be about her mending her relationship with luke, how he was so focused on finding a ghost he couldn’t even see when she was standing in front of him. have him then give in and face leia, and join the good fight. rey now has this family legacy she doesn’t know how to handle. have that be an important motive in her relationship with finn, whose identity is entirely self made. have rey be an adopted daughter, probably an orphan from the galactic civil war who luke found as a baby and adopted as his own. her family is a chosen family, like finn’s. 

- you can also insert here luke training finn and this being a conflict with rey because he can’t be objective with her like he’s with him. finn has a bigger goal in mind: freeing the stormtroopers from the first order, and that’s the kind of bigger cause luke can easily get behind. rey’s conflict facing kylo hits too close to home. maybe the resolution is leia training rey. 

- have poe be relevant throughout his relationship with leia and by extension with kylo. explore how poe grew up in the rebellion and when his parents died leia more or less adopted him. show me kylo being incredibly resentful and jealous of poe, how he felt sidelined as a kid and how in his eyes poe isn’t special, he shouldn’t get more attention from his mother! have poe’s conflict be about how he knew kylo as a little kid and to see him transformed into this monster hurts deeply. how a simple non-force sensitive man like poe “replaced” leia’s son.

idk how i would resolve this in the end but SEE you don’t need that many changes to make the goddam trilogy work. palpatine can be back or whatever the big baddie is not what’s important here. 

[remypilled]

OK so one is a frog (grung) named hermit who enjoys causing problems on purpose, & befriends homeless old men that they meet in alleyways, & keeps cockroaches in their pants in case of emergency. they had two siblings in a past campaign but both of them died right in front of them. violently. as a result they got really quiet and stares at people autistically instead of using their words. theyre a detective who works for Insanely low rates because in grung society gold just like. Doesnt exist. so theyll solve the most traumatic murder case and ask for one (1) piece of gold in return. they're incredibly morbidly curious and enjoy doing autopsies because their coworkers let them hold the organs. also they used to own slaves (surprisingly normal in grung society! tiny cute frogs own a Lot of slaves) until they got adopted by two of their coworkers , mother forced them to free the slaves , tragic. also they lie to people All the time just because they can get away with it. frog is also a druid of spores which basically means they commit acts of violence by draining creatures of their life force Entirely and letting bugs & lizards & spores infest their corpse afterwards.

i do not think any of that made any sense but anyway thats just hermit (by the way their siblings were named kermit & bermit. and their parents were called zermit & permit.) i can and will infodump abt them more bc i love this silly frog who has Overcame racism (so brave. sending thoughts and prayers)

i have another character who is The Opposite but ive already said so much help

hi guys who wants to know things about my d&d characters