#anyways later on same guy was like jumping to do some of the orders for me and stuff

[balladofthelamb]

im honestly tired of the male attention at work, and i know its literally because my hairs been getting longer, and this frustrates me because while i do love having short hair the most, i actually feel really confident styling with the length i have now and i like having the back of my neck be warm.... and i like being able to dress more masculine but still have a couple more "feminine" attributes, it suits my genderfluidity the most. but then i feel conflicted with my butchness, especially with the type of attention i get from guys, even though i know that attention isnt my fault and i cant control how people perceive certain facets of mine. and in a way, it honestly makes me feel like no one really values my butchness or masculinity. i wish people weren't more kind to me depending on how feminine they perceive me to be. anyways, all this to say, my coworker made some comment, and then explained it to me saying it wasnt a joke, and i was like "no yeah i got it." and he was like "sorry, sometimes i over explain things to the other people here but i think it goes without saying that youre a cut above the rest when it comes to intellect"....... and then he had the gall to try and get me to agree with him........ i really hate guys like this that try and express how they value you by putting others down. UGH!

[feeder86]

Train to Gain

“I want to get jacked!” Jay declared, standing in front of his new personal trainer with his chest puffed out.

Matt nodded, having heard the same thing many times from plenty of guys like Jay, in their early twenties. “Okay, so we’re aiming for muscle gains,” he clarified, making a note of it. “Is there a reason why you want to make this your focus?” he asked, seeing from Jay’s body that he already had a pretty good build that most guys would have been envious of.

Jay nodded. “I’ve just split up with a girl I’ve been with since high school,” he stated without a drop of remorse or sorrow. “I feel like I want to finally do something for myself. You know what I mean? I want to look good. Muscular. Lean.”

Matt nodded. So, just like all the other guys, this one believed that getting more muscle on him would help him score with the ladies. He didn’t need a PhD to crack that little mystery about the boy’s true intention. It was a tale as old as time itself. 

Being so muscular himself, guys like Jay seemed to gravitate towards Matt on an almost daily basis, knowing that he could deliver the results they wanted. They saw his statuesque physique in the gym and felt that working out with a guy as built as he was was akin to ordering that body type for themselves in a catalogue. But Matt was not convinced by this latest client. Jay was a pretty-looking boy, with large soulful eyes and a gentle innocence about him. He wouldn’t be single for long. Some girl would come along, snap him up, and this whole muscle workout craze would be a thing of the past for him.

Nevertheless, Matt settled down to a detailed conversation about what it would take, the commitment Jay would need to make and the amount of sessions he would arrange with him each week. It was obvious that Jay had all the enthusiasm for his goals, but little knowledge of how to actually get there. “We’ll take things slow to begin with,” he smiled. “Then we’ll see how we get on.”

Seeming pleased, Jay shook Matt’s hand and threw his workout bag over his shoulder to leave. Then, as Jay was walking out of the gym, Matt watched as the eyes of every woman in there drifted towards his cute, tight glutes in his fitted gym shorts. Matt chuckled, nodding knowingly. It may have been Jay’s first time being single in his adult life, but it wouldn’t take the pretty boy long to work out that he didn’t need any more muscle to get women. Three weeks, maximum, Matt predicted. There was no way Jay would be paying for his services for longer than that; not when he didn’t need to.

Matt was aware that he was in the minority when it came to enjoying those winter months. But as the holidays came and went, he jumped out of bed with a renewed spring in his step, knowing that the gym would be fit to bursting with chubby, overweight and under-exercised guys trying to make a fresh start for the New Year. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly it was that he loved about them so much: that doughy shape, the jiggle of fat as they strolled on the treadmills. Maybe it was the way their sweat made their tight gym clothes stick to their rounded bodies . Matt was both mesmerised and fascinated by it all at the same time. 

It was around this time of year that he had met his now ex-boyfriend who had been trying to lose a few pounds back then. He’d copped a lot of crap from his colleagues at the gym for dating someone so big, and he’d had to challenge them multiple times for their attitudes towards the match. So what if he was into bigger guys? Whose business was it who he dated? Certainly not theirs. Not that any of it mattered in the end. Nine months in and the whole relationship had fallen apart anyway. His heart broken, just as they had all been expecting,

“Alright! That was pretty good!” Matt marvelled a staggering twelve weeks later, as Jay successfully squatted his biggest weight yet. He slapped the guy on his shoulder and passed him his water. “You’re killing it!” he smiled encouragingly.

“But I don’t look any different yet,” Jay grumbled, repeating the same complaint that had surfaced again and again in their recent sessions. “Sure, I’m a little stronger, but not much.”

“We’re taking it slow, remember,” Matt stated calmly. “You were quite clear from the start that you wanted to add muscle the lean way. It just takes a little more time.”

“But what’s the alternative?” Jay asked.

“Proper bulking,” Matt replied. “You give your body all the calories it needs to grow. We discussed this in our first meeting, remember?” he explained, a little exasperated. “You were insistent. You wanted a lean muscle bulk.”

“I want to be bigger,” Jay shot back.

“If you go with the bulking option, you’d have to accept the fact that not all of the gains you make would be muscle,” Matt tried to clarify.

“But I saw this guy online…” Jay began, rambling yet again about some viral influencer who claimed to know it all about how to get ripped with ease.

Matt bit his tongue. He genuinely liked Jay, but he was fed up of trying to debunk all of the insane fitness myths clients came in with these days. He was only twenty seven, and yet he wondered how much longer he could stand to do this job when there was so much misinformation out there. “Look, let’s just try it,” he suggested forcefully, cutting Jay off mid sentence. “I’ll set you up with a bulking plan and we’ll see what happens. If you’re not happy after a couple of weeks, you can fire me and send all your money to those online fitness con artists instead,” he stated plainly.

Still not seeming overly convinced, Jay nodded. “Okay. We’ll try this your way…”

“So, have you got much planned for your week off?” Matt asked Jay a good few weeks later. He’d found that he didn’t struggle with small talk as much with Jay as he did some of his other clients. They seemed to share the same sense of humour and had successfully recommended more than one decent TV show to each other in the past.

“I’m going to a wedding,” Jay answered, sitting himself back ready to lift.

“A wedding, huh?” Matt asked, loading on the weights ready. “That’s a great place to meet girls,” he said, finding it bizarre that Jay was still single after all this time.

“Not a chance!” Jay chuckled, lifting his hands up to grab the bar. “I told you, I’m done with all that.”

“Whatever you say!” Matt chuckled back; his eyes catching sight of Jay’s stomach as the guy’s t-shirt rose, ready for the lift. He could tell that the bulking diet was well underway, with a padded thickness around Jay’s middle, bulging to the sides to form what many might consider the beginnings of love handles.

Jay lifted like never before. After one set he insisted that Matt make the bar even heavier again; grunting with the extreme effort it took.

“You did it!” Matt marvelled, finally setting the bar back minutes later. “I can’t get over how quickly you’re progressing now.”

Jay sat up, spreading his legs wide and owning the space he was in. It was a feeling Matt knew all too well: the sense of power and size after lifting more than ever before. “This bulking is really working, isn’t it?” Jay smiled.

“It is!” Jay nodded, trying to mask his surprise at just how much more noticeable Jay’s extra thickness was around his waist when he sat up like this. There was no way the guy was going to stick out the full bulking period; the boy seemed genetically predisposed to carry a tight little paunch at this size. Already Matt could sense the cut was on the horizon.

Once again, Matt’s predictions fell flat on their face. As more weeks went by, Jay was very quickly becoming one of Matt’s strongest clients. However, it was all coming at quite a cost to the guy’s naturally athletic physique. Built around a solid core, Jay’s chunky middle was rounded and significantly paunch-like in appearance, despite being somewhat muted by the large chest and muscular shoulders that had grown alongside it. If Jay had been going for that muscular V-shaped back, he had fallen far short of the mark. His stout tummy had swelled out his love handles to a size that could not be hidden by pretty much any of the t-shirts that he wore in the gym. Matt had even seen the guy out and about upon occasion, feeling shocked at just how thick and overfed he actually looked; especially with that meaty swagger he had about him, artificially pushing out his arms to increase his width.

“And, we’ll finish with twenty minutes on the treadmill,” Matt declared during their next session, waiting for the exhausted guy to sluggishly pick himself up off the weight machine.

“The treadmill?” Jay asked, as if Matt had been joking. “I’m not paying for you to watch me on the treadmill for twenty minutes,” he laughed.

“You do realise that we’re going to be putting a lot more cardio exercises into your routine from now on? We agreed to start cutting from next week, remember?”

Jay brushed him off, insisting that he could do another set on the machine he was currently on. The rest of the session continued in that manner until the time was depleted. Then a sweaty, beefy looking Jay simply lifted a protein shake to his mouth and began chugging.

“What’s in that thing?” Matt asked, noticing that it was far thicker than any of the recipes he had supplied to Jay. He took it from Jay’s limp hand and held it to his nose. “That’s so sweet!” he gasped, recoiling slightly. Swirling the remaining third in the bottle, Matt declared with absolute certainty that this was not part of the diet plan he had given Jay.

“I found the recipe online,” Jay shot back, snatching the shake back and draining it quickly. “I drink four of these daily. Your shake recipes were good, but I wasn’t packing on the muscle half as quickly as I am now.”

Matt winced. Jay had been heading in the wrong direction for weeks now; his muscle gains overshadowed by significant increases in fat. And Matt had been ignoring it all, pushing it to the back of his mind, denying it. “Have you got the recipe for me to look at?” he asked diplomatically.

Jay lazily held out his hand for Matt to pass him his cell phone from his bag. Then, after a couple of seconds, the webpage link came buzzing through to Matt.

“Um…” Matt mumbled, feeling his heart beating with worry. “Have you really been drinking these four times a day? Did you not think to check out the ingredients? All that sugar? Condensed milk?”

“I’m not an idiot!” Jay grumbled back, as Matt noticed the fat that was starting to build up under the handsome boy’s chin and into his cheeks. “These things promise results and they deliver. I’ve gained 25 lbs in the last two months alone!”

Matt took a step back, feeling that he had let Jay down more than any other client he had ever had. Yet, somewhere deep inside of him was a spark of attraction. Jay was starting to look genuinely fat. It was literally spreading across his entire body and had been doing so for weeks.  “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled guiltily. “I should have been more on top of your diet planner. This should never have happened.”

Jay seemed utterly perplexed by Matt’s remorse, but he agreed to pack up his stuff and head out to a local cafe for a more thorough debrief. They sat with two coffees at a small table near the front as Matt considered how best to insist that Jay quit the shakes as soon as possible.

Matt thought he had his speech all ready to go. He inhaled, ready to begin, when he suddenly noticed that Jay’s attention was elsewhere. A large, overweight guy had come in through the door, making Jay look across with interest. Matt followed his gaze and then cringed with regret, realising that the man was none other than his ex boyfriend, Chris. They had just made eye contact.

“I’m really sorry about this!” Matt blasted out, realising that his almost 400 lb ex was heading over to the table and there was nothing that he could do to stop him.

“Hello Matt,” the large bellied guy smiled. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah,” Matt nodded, not looking directly at him in the hopes that he would soon get the message and leave them be. “Nice to see you, Chris,” he lied.

“I gained a bit of weight recently,” Chris went on, patting his fat stomach. “I’d love to show you some time.”

“I’m actually with a client right now!” Matt hissed, losing patience. “When I said that things were over between us, I meant it.”

Chris looked down at them both, giving Jay in particular the most filthy of looks. Then he turned, deciding that the coffee house was no good after all and disappeared out of the door.

“Who was that?” Jay exclaimed the second the guy’s large form had disappeared beyond the windows. 

“My ex,” Matt sighed, feeling frustrated that they should bump into each other here; whilst he was with a client no less! “We broke up about eight months ago.”

“You? And HIM?” Jay asked in disbelief, making it hard for Matt to tell whether it was the fact that he dated guys that most surprised Jay, or the sheer size of that ex-boyfriend. Either way, it became the focus of a long line of questions that Matt was finding difficult to deflect.

“I’ve made a decision,” Jay finally declared as they at last got off the topic of Matt’s love life. “I want to keep the bulk going for another six weeks.”

“I would very strongly advise against that,” Matt replied immediately.

“Six more weeks!” Jay laughed, as if he was making the simplest of alterations to their training plan. “It’s nothing! You need to learn to relax, buddy!”

Matt sighed. Perhaps because he was still reeling from coming face to face with Chris again, he did not feel especially inclined to argue. Jay was a client after all, and his wishes had to be respected - even if he was making a choice that Matt knew would make it significantly harder for the guy to get back in shape afterwards.

Just as Matt had anticipated, the weight that poured onto Jay’s body over the coming weeks was nothing more than pure fat. He’d find himself staring at it, having never felt so conflicted in his life. He was attracted by fat on a guy’s body, yes. But Jay was also a client who was confused by all of the bad advice out there and had caught himself up in a pattern of weight gain that was bloating his previously toned body. The sight of it, Matt had to admit, was nothing short of wildly arousing.

“He’s one of yours isn’t he?” asked one of the other trainers as Jay walked in for his training session wearing a t-shirt that was significantly too tight for his bloated torso. The guy braced himself against the wall to stretch out his calves, not realising how much his shirt had ridden up in the process and exposing a good three inches of his new, overfed tummy pushing itself over the waistband.

“Great work, Matt,” sneered Harry, the other male trainer, giving him a sarcastic slow clap as the three of them all watched Jay from a good distance.

Matt wanted to explain how he hadn’t been to blame; how Jay had found bad advice online instead, and was continuing to bulk against his advice. However, there was a strange thrill in not saying anything at all; something that Matt could not explain, even if he tried. 

Next, Jay began squatting, spreading his chunky legs wide apart with the good posture that Matt had taught him, then lifting his body up and down. It was a simple move and not at all noteworthy but for the extreme tightness of the shorts he was wearing, pulling the waistband lower and lower at the back, revealing more and more of his butt crack with each dip; thanks in part to the similarly undersized underwear he had on underneath.

“Ugh!” laughed Harry.. “No one wants to see that!”

Matt looked around at the others in the gym. Jay was indeed getting looks of disapproval, and even disgust, for his scandalously tight clothing.

“You need to have a word,” the trainers all agreed. “He’s putting people off. It’s bad for business.”

Matt sighed. He knew what they were saying was right, but how could he even begin a conversation about it to a client who was paying him? Especially one he was starting to crush on in the most inappropriate of ways.

Despite Jay’s confidence on the weights, it was quite clear during that session that the guy wasn’t making as much progress with his lifting than he obviously thought he was. In fact, his lifting had peaked almost two months earlier and there had been minimal successes since then. What had changed was the amount of sweating Jay was doing; leaving the machines with a damp imprint of his overfed rear which Matt wiped down each time. But with the sweating, Jay’s clothing tightened around him even more. Matt didn’t need to see Jay on the scales, he was an expert on every part of his body, knowing exactly how it was altering because he could see it right there, before his very eyes. He had to breathe a little deeper when he felt the arousal getting too much for him. Jay’s butt was pure perfection; shaped by good genes and some decent early muscle gains, but now swelling and widening with the pounds and pounds of fat the guy was amassing.

Jay had been buzzing about his new apartment; finally allowing him to get out of parents’ place. It was going to make bulking a lot easier, he’d declared, making Matt feel uneasy about how much more extreme his client may take things.

“I’ve got boxes and boxes of stuff all over the place,” Jay complained. “I need a good sort out, really. It’s just so easy to dump it all in the closet and forget about it though.”

“That reminds me,” Matt jumped in, seeing an opening and seizing upon it. “I got an email the other day for a good discount on the online shop I use for clothes,” he began, having pondered over how best to approach the clothes issue for the entire hour of their session. “It can be quite hard to find stuff that fits right when you’re a bodybuilder.”

“Tell me about it!” nodded the chubby boy, not sensing the irony in his words in the slightest. “None of my clothes fit properly anymore.”

Matt nodded. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a good lead in to discuss Jay’s dissatisfaction with his clothing and how he shouldn’t really be feeling such tightness around his stomach when he was trying to pack on muscle. As it was, he could feel the eyes of the other trainers on the back of his head. The only task he had to complete was getting Jay out of those ridiculously tight gym clothes. “I use this brand,” he lied, showing Jay the webpage he had just got up on his cell phone. He knew that impressionable guys like Jay wanted to look like him; to have the same confidence and presence. If he recommended a clothes line to them, he was pretty certain they would take it. “With the progress you’ve been making, you could probably get away with the extra large, but the 2XL might suit your needs more if you’re still in the bulking phase. Fast delivery too.”

Jay nodded with interest and took every link that Matt sent him. 

“I’ve spoken to him about the clothes,” Matt nodded, seeing the faces of expectation from the other trainers as he went back after the session ended.

“I know it’s tough having to tell a client that they’re getting too heavy,” Harry nodded. “But when he’s spilling out of his clothes like that, enough is enough. It’s time to say something.”

Matt nodded, knowing that Harry was exactly right. But that wasn’t what he had done, was it? He’d sent Jay off believing that he was making ‘progress’ and that he needed to wear clothes suitable for bodybuilders. The reality was anything but. Jay was chubby and out of shape. He’d not done any cardio in… it must have been months! He was a client who kept Matt awake at night with his feelings of guilt. He was letting the guy down, and this latest stunt was his worst sin of all.

It came as no surprise when Jay continued to be obsessed with bulking, even after the third and fourth deadlines for cutting came and went. The small mercy was that Jay was at least dressed better in the gym. With his new clothes, he was starting to look like any other broad, fat guy. His pretty face was still getting him the odd glance from some of the women, but the fatter body underneath was more than enough to ensure that it never progressed into anything more.

“You’ll never guess what I managed to get tickets for!” Jay blasted one Wednesday evening as he came in for his session.

“No way?” Matt grinned, knowing exactly where Jay was going with this. “You got them? But the concert has been sold out for months!”

“They were giving away tickets on the radio. I phoned up, answered some trivia questions live on air with someone else and… they’re mine!” he grinned, clearly delighted with himself.

“Congratulations!” Matt beamed. “I’m so jealous! You’re going to have such a great time!”

“No… WE’RE going to have such a great time,” Jay corrected him. “They asked me on the radio show who I wanted to take with me, and I told them your name. You’re the only person I know who is as obsessed with them as I am. No one else would appreciate it like you would.”

Matt’s initial reaction was to decline. There were many clients who tried to socialise outside of these sessions, but it was almost always unprofessional to do so. However, he had also desperately wanted to see this band since he was eight years old. Plus, he and Jay did genuinely seem to get on pretty well.”

“Can I give you some money for the ticket then?” he asked.

“No, I got them for free,” Jay shot back, shaking his head.

“Well, I’ll drive us then,” Matt tried to compromise, knowing that the concert was a good couple of hours away. “I know where your new place is. I can pick you up at about 4pm on Saturday afternoon?”

Jay nodded, accepting the offer without hesitation. Then, for the rest of the week, Matt was telling all of his clients about the concert and how excited he was. He was amazed that not a single person had heard of the band or even recognised any of the tracks when he played a couple of samples for them on his cell phone. ‘What the hell was wrong with people?��� he thought to himself, highlighting in his mind just how much better he clicked with Jay than anyone else he worked with.

That Saturday, Matt didn’t really know who he was trying to impress as he slipped on his most expensive shirt and left the last three buttons undone to expose part of his strapping chest. He turned up at Jay’s building, expecting to head straight off, but was instead buzzed inside.

“Sorry!” Jay spluttered, opening the door to him, covered with only a small towel around his waist, fresh from the shower. “I had a big lunch and fell asleep! I only woke up ten minutes ago.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Matt nodded, trying to keep his eyes fixed on Jay’s face and not look down to explore his client’s beautifully chubby proportions. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

Jay trotted back into his bedroom; his jiggly love handles bouncing with the quick pace he was going at. Matt simply took a deep breath and tried to control the arousal that he felt. He looked around the apartment, coming to one very obvious conclusion: This was the home of a fat guy. It was obvious; from the small armies of empty beer cans, to the carnage of emptied take out containers and pizza boxes. Discarded clothes dotted the space and Matt found himself meandering into the kitchen; his curiosity getting the better of him. He opened the refrigerator and peeked in all of the cupboards as quietly as he possibly could. What he found was far worse than he ever would have imagined: cakes, candy, cookies and several containers of those disastrous protein shakes… Jay had the lot, and then some. The guy was eating like a pig and putting on weight at a frankly alarming rate. Matt tried to breathe deeply again, but this time, the blood rushing towards his groin seemed determined to give him a full on erection.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Jay smiled moments later, coming out in a shirt that was far too small for his stout little gut. He opened the refrigerator and downed one of his shakes, as was his usual routine at this time. Once again, Matt had to look away. Then, as the last of it drained, Jay lifted his arms and pumped his biceps, now covered in a good layer of pure fat.

The conversation flowed well in the car as the pair listened to a few of the band’s old albums and talked at length about their shared interests.

“If we’ve still got twenty minutes before we need to go in, I’m going to find some food,” Jay declared once they had parked up. He walked slightly ahead as Matt tried to avert his eyes away from the guy’s wide, overfed glutes, barely contained in his overly tight pants. “I absolutely love bulking,” he declared a few minutes later, holding a giant burger in both hands and raising it part way to his mouth. Then, like a genuine glutton, he dropped his head over it and began feasting with his large shoulders hunched forwards.

Matt genuinely did try to enjoy the concert, but he was conscious of trying to hold back an erection the entire time. He wondered why his brain had to be wired up this way. Why couldn’t he just enjoy the music without getting turned on by the significantly chubby guy he had come here with? He’d had to sit for significant periods of the concert with his hands resting over his crotch as Jay danced beside him, arms up in the air and his rounded tummy popping out. It was so humid in there, making Jay glow with a beautiful fat-boy sweat and ensuring that his clothes plastered themselves to his thick body even more than they already were doing.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Jay smiled the moment the lights came up. “How would you like to go backstage?”

Matt couldn’t believe it as he was shaking hands with his idols and chatting away with other fans backstage only minutes later. It truly was an extraordinary night.

“So, how do you guys know each other?” the lead singer asked as he came up to them both at the bar.

“Matt’s my personal trainer,” Jay answered, downing his beer into his bloated belly.

“I can see you’ve got your work cut out for you,” the singer whispered to Matt, tapping him on his strong back in sympathy.

“I’m in the best shape of my life,” Matt went on, clearly a little tipsy. He put his beer down and reached into his tight pocket to pull out his cell phone. “This is me, before I started training,” he declared, passing the singer a picture of him from just under eleven months ago: slim, handsome, athletic.

“And this is you… ‘before’ you started training?” the guy asked, ensuring that he wasn’t misunderstanding.

Jay nodded enthusiastically, raising his chubby arms to flex and simultaneously letting his chubby belly fall out for the umpteenth time that evening.

“Right,” the singer nodded, confused and surprised; possibly wondering if Jay was making some sort of joke. He slapped Matt on the back once more, then headed off to speak to some others.

When Jay asked to stop off for more food on the way back, Matt didn’t feel that he really had the right to refuse him after the night they had had together. However, it was yet another torturous exercise, having to sit next to Jay as he was gorging his fat body on more fries and burgers in the passenger seat. The sounds of his greedy chewing and swallowing were turning on an already stimulated sex drive to even greater extremes.

“I thought he might have been flirting with you,” Jay explained as they discussed their encounter with the lead singer. “The way he kept on tapping you on the back like that.”

“That wasn’t what that was about,”  Matt answered simply as he tried to control the boner he was getting, listening to Jay sucking air as he reached the end of his gigantic milkshake.

“You must have people flirting with you all the time, the shape you’re in,” Jay continued, stuffing the last of the fries into his mouth.

Matt took a breath in, wondering how to answer something like that. The answer was yes; he certainly did get a lot of attention from both guys and girls. But, as was being made strikingly clear to him that evening, the types of people he found attractive himself were often quite far from what most would expect.

“You don’t talk much about this sort of stuff, do you?” Jay asked him next after a pause.

“Neither do you,” Matt shot back.

“I’m just out of a long term relationship,” Jay replied grandly.

“Over a year ago!” Matt laughed. “In that case, I can use the same excuse.”

“You mean that huge guy we met in the coffee house that time? You were really into him?”

“I was in love with him, yes,” Matt replied, feeling that the conversation was getting a little too close to the bone now.

“How did he get that big? Was he always fat? Or did he just put on weight as an adult?” Jay pressed on obliviously.

“Combination of both, I expect,” Matt shrugged, trying to think of how to shift the conversation away from his ex.

“Do you think I could ever get as big as he is?” Jay asked.

Matt looked across at Jay in confusion. “Chris wasn’t a weight lifter, y’know?” he stated plainly. “He was probably as weak as a kitten. He was just… very overweight.”

“I just remember him being large,” Jay shrugged. “Guys like that always make me feel a little jealous.”

“There aren’t many people who would be jealous of Chris’ body type,” Matt chuckled, assuming that Jay was making fun.

“I think, if I kept up my protein shakes, I’d have a chance at getting to his sort of size,” Jay pondered aloud.

“I have no doubt that you would,” Matt nodded. “But it wouldn’t be lean muscle, I can promise you that.”

“Do you think it would suit me?” Jay asked playfully back.

Now Matt felt entirely on the backfoot. There was no way to answer the question without incriminating himself somehow. “I guess so,” he mumbled vaguely.

“So, do you think I should give up weight lifting then?” the guy immediately replied..

“I didn’t say that,” Matt countered.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. I’ve had a lot more success gaining weight and getting big in other ways, rather than muscle. Maybe I should just focus on that?”

“You know exactly what I’d say to that. I’m a personal trainer!” Matt reminded him. “Of course you’re not supposed to give up weight training and just let yourself get fat.”

“You can be such a square sometimes,” Jay laughed. “You’re so caught up with your diet plans, your nutrition goals and research papers on exercise schedules. You forget that most people don’t care about any of that stuff. It’s all about feeling good in your own body.”

The last fifteen minutes of the journey went by a little smoother, with the conversation naturally evolving into something lighter.

“Want to come in and grab those recipe books you lent me?” Jay asked as they parked up outside his building.

Thinking about another of his clients, Matt nodded keenly. It was more than obvious that Jay had little interest in any of the lean meals in them, so why not pass them on? He followed the guy up the stairs, allowing his brain to fantasise about taking the chubby guy straight into his bedroom. Now that he knew he would be home in twenty minutes and able to release all the pent-up sexual frustration from his evening with Jay, he somehow felt more able to embrace it; gazing with lust at those giant glutes, like round globes of fat, pressed tightly into Jay’s pants as he walked up the stairs ahead of him.

“They’ll be in my closet somewhere,” Jay explained, leading Matt into his bedroom. Inside here, the mess of take out containers continued, making it clear that Jay did just as much of his eating in bed, as he did anywhere else in the apartment. He reached over a pile of boxes and leaned into this closet, presenting Matt with a full view of his wide rear. Matt simply stared at it, swooning.

Jay had to lean in more and more, too lazy to move the boxed out of the way, and grunting from the effort. Matt told him not to worry; that he could get them some other time, but still Jay persevered, leaning even more of his weight onto the boxes at the front. Then, in a split second, they gave way underneath him, sending Jay falling head first into the closet, his legs up in the air.

Matt grabbed at him in a swift rescue, lifting him up and out by pulling him by his waistband and trying to reach his arm in to hold Jay just above his waist. He was a very heavy boy indeed, and not easy to shift, but eventually he came, looking significantly worse for wear. The most stressed buttons on his shirt had popped clean off and his pants had ripped as Matt had tried to pull him up from behind.

“Sorry about that,” Matt mumbled, seeing what a state Jay now looked in his torn clothes. He’d had to pull him at a strange angle to get him back upright and, although he hoped it wasn’t the case, there was a possibility that Jay might have felt the erection in his pants as he was put back on his feet.

Jay flattened his hair and shuffled over to his mirror. His fingers explored the ripped buttons and torn material. There was his little fat belly popping out like never before; his significant fat gains never looking more obvious. The hallmarks of actual obesity starting to shine through.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Matt asked, wondering why Jay was so stunned; his nervousness increasing by the second.

“If I asked you to stay tonight, would you?” Jay asked simply.

“Why do you want me to stay?” Matt asked. “Do you think you’ve hurt yourself?”

Jay did not answer, but simply unbuttoned only the remaining buttons of his shirt and let the material fall to the floor. “Stay,” he repeated, letting Matt’s gaze fall in its entirety upon his bloated, fattened body. “I can tell that you’d like to.”

Matt allowed himself to enjoy the sight. His fingers twitched at his side, desperate to explore and touch. “Do you mean that?” he asked, no longer hiding his interest.

Jay nodded, grabbing a wedge of his own fat. “Let’s just say, you’re not the only person who gets a boner over this stuff.”

Immediately, Matt pulled Jay into a deeply passionate kiss. Their hands began to explore each other and they soon fell, entirely naked onto the unmade bed. Finally, the fizzing sexual tension that had been torturing Matt all night was set free; the fireworks still to come.

Matt woke the next morning as the light began pouring in through Jay’s window. He turned, seeing the bloated boy still resting deeply. Despite his good looks, this wasn’t the sort of thing that Matt ever did. He could count on a single hand how many guys he had slept with in the past, and he could explain how each one of them had eventually ended up breaking his heart. 

Jay stirred as Matt made an attempt to get out of bed. “Morning,” he called out. “What a wild night, huh?”

Matt smiled. “Pretty wild, yeah!” he nodded.

“Did I do it okay?” Jay asked sweetly. “I’ve never tried to give a blow job before.”

“You did great!” Matt nodded. “Amazing, in fact,” he added, remembering how quickly they had both climaxed last night. He’d worked on Jay first and then the sweet guy worked his mouth on Matt until he came in less than a minute. 

“Could you go and get me my shake out of the refrigerator?” Jay asked next, sitting up. “I forgot to have my last one when we got back yesterday, so I’ll have to make up for it this morning. In fact, bring me two,” he reconsidered. “I’ll get it down now.”

Matt hesitated for a moment. He knew that, officially, as Jay’s trainer, he wasn't supposed to approve of these shakes. Still, he was in Jay’s apartment, having just spent the night, so he could hardly start lecturing him now.

Still in a state of undress, Matt slipped out of the room and tiptoed over the mess that was littering the living space. He opened the fridge and felt a pang of arousal as he remembered just how many Jay had prepared for himself.

“Thanks,” Jay smiled, getting back from the bathroom as Matt returned. “I can still feel that burger from last night,” he chuckled, rubbing the shelf of stomach fat, before taking a deep deep breath chugging one of the shakes.

Matt’s penis, which hadn’t been flaccid since the moment he woke up next to Jay, began to pump itself harder upon watching Jay drink. He found it embarrassing how quickly his arousal responded to stuff like this and he moved his hand to cover it up; not wanting Jay to see and realise what a freak he was. However, as he looked at the bedsheets, he could see that the same thing was happening to Jay as well, with his own hardness pushing the material upwards, throbbing up and down like a heartbeat.

Taking himself off to the bathroom, Matt calmed himself down. He was so into Jay, he couldn’t ruin it, like last time. When he returned, both shakes were emptied and Jay was up, checking his body out in the mirror; that old jock physique of his destroyed and replaced with the chubby, overfed form there was today. Gone was the youthful pertness of his glutes, now so wide and juicy. All the added fat had swollen his chest up so considerably, with his new, pointed nipples looking alert and sharp as they started to droop a little onto the broad, shockingly ball-like stomach that completely dominated the boy’s appearance.

Matt went over and kissed the chub sweetly, hoping that Jay wouldn’t feel differently now the morning had arrived. Afterwards, he took the guy’s hand and then gently led him back to bed; making love to him slowly and passionately this time; wanting to show Jay just how much he could adore and cherish him, if he would only give him the chance.

When Jay turned up for their training session the next day, there was an air of mischief about him. The pair of them were chuckling and smiling, knowing exactly what they had got up to at the weekend and excited to be in each other’s company again. Now when Matt had to touch him, supporting his arms in a certain way, or correcting his posture, it sent waves of pleasure through his entire body. If he tried to get tough with Jay to get him to build up a sweat, the guy would come back with something flirtatious or rude, making Matt laugh.

“What time do you finish tonight?” Jay asked after a particularly arousing session where Jay had actually done very little indeed.

“Ten,” Matt replied, wincing at how late it was going to be.

“That’s okay,” Jay smiled excitedly. “Want to stay over again?”

Matt looked around, trying to hold himself back from wanting to kiss Jay right there and then; the cutest, chubbiest guy currently at the gym that moment. He knew how unprofessional it was to be dating his client. In some ways, it was like playing with fire; both terrifying and thrilling. “Want me to bring anything over?” he asked politely, knowing how low Jay was getting on supplies like lubricant and condoms after the weekend.

“You could pick me up some doughnuts,” Jay happily agreed.

“Oh, right. Okay,” Matt mumbled in surprise. That hadn’t been what he had meant at all. “Any particular kind?” he offered, not wanting to spoil the mood by declining.

“Just the twelve pack that you can get at the late night convenience place at the end of my street,” Jay answered him, clearly wanting to kiss him goodbye, but knowing that he couldn’t here.

Slapping the twelve pack of doughnuts on the counter a while later, Matt couldn’t help feeling a little guilty. Here he was getting a spark of arousal at buying all this sugar and fat for his chubby lover. What would people say if they knew? He strolled over to Jay’s place and was buzzed in, finding the apartment door open as he made it up the stairs.

Seeing his chubby boy sprawled out on the couch, Matt took off his shirt and smiled, closing the door behind him before he marched straight over to kiss his new lover. Still dressed in his gym clothes, Jay’s stomach was falling out of his t-shirt as he twisted his head for the kiss. Two more empty flasks of shake sat on the floor beside the couch, alongside another pizza box that Jay must have picked up right after his workout.

Matt had slipped his hand onto Jay’s tummy as he went back for another kiss. How could he tell him off for his bad diet when he looked so adorable right now?

“Did you get my doughnuts?” Jay asked.

Matt nodded, getting up to collect them and feeling surprised at how eagerly Jay took them from him.

“Amazing! You got the cream filled ones!” Jay cheered, ripping the box open and pushing a doughnut straight in his mouth.

Matt hadn’t realised that there were different types, having just bought the first pack he’d found in the store, but he was pleased that it was giving Jay so much pleasure. He gazed with adoration as he ate, feeling himself falling hard for the guy. He sat there, on the floor, below the couch, rubbing Jay’s leg, observing it all. Doughnut number 5, 6 and 7 disappeared. Afterwards, Matt slipped in beside him, kissing his head from behind and holding the overfed boy tenderly. Whilst he couldn’t wait to sleep with Jay again, these tender moments were something he never wanted to rush.

“Did anyone notice that we were flirting at the gym? Jay asked as they lay tenderly together later on. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“That’s not something I want you to worry about,” Matt whispered into his ear. “I can handle any fallout if it comes to that.”

“I’ve actually wanted to quit weight training for quite some time. I just didn’t know how to tell you properly. Then our little relationship wouldn’t be so much of an issue.”

“So, we’re in a relationship, huh?” Matt teased, beaming with pride and hugging his boyfriend tightly from behind. “I don’t want you to give it up just for me, though,” he added regretfully.

“You’re the only reason I stuck it out so long,” Jay chuckled. “The truth is, I’m getting a lot more of a buzz out of developing my mass in ways that aren’t strength training related.”

Matt lifted his head as he lay in bed and looked down at the fat filled stomach on Jay; his hardness immediately throbbed into the guy’s doughy glutes. He wished he could control it; still wanting to conceal the fact that he found the idea of Jay becoming even more overweight so wildly erotic. He realised that as much as he would try to reason with Jay about his overeating and general laziness, his dick would always be there, trying to undermine his words of caution.

Although Jay didn’t acknowledge it with his words, he reached across for yet another doughnut, even though he had previously said he was stuffed. Was that for Matt’s benefit? Was he doing it to turn him on? Perhaps it was yet another unintended error of Matt’s that was dragging Jay even further down this crazy rabbit hole.

Jay’s gains began to speed up quite dramatically within the first six months of their relationship; Matt’s guilt increasing with every pound. There were times when he should have stepped in to stop Jay pushing his appetite too hard. When he discovered Jay buying in clothes for himself that were far too large, he could have asked why. He knew so much about nutrition and what it all was doing to Jay’s body, bloating it more and more beyond recognition. He’d crossed 300lbs. That should have been a moment for them both to take stock and reevaluate things; but the arousal of it all; the way Jay seemed to not care in the slightest about how people were seeing him these days; that confidence; the love that Matt felt for him. It all culminated to ensure the personal trainer kept quiet and allowed it to continue.

Jay’s body was stunning. There wasn’t a single spot where the fat hadn’t done its work, softening and swelling him up. With the lack of weight training, Jay’s chest had succumbed to the blubber, now filling up under his armpits and inflating his arms. All the while, his gut and wide butt quietly continued to grow ever more; becoming more extreme with each passing day. 

Matt couldn’t say not to Jay on his birthday. He’d asked him again and again what he wanted to do for it: a day trip, a weekend hotel stay, any gift he wanted. But all Jay had insisted on was a take-out meal in front of the TV.

“This ice cream is definitely the best,” Jay smiled, scooping out from the tub with his spoon. “I can’t believe you found some!”

“Well, you’re worth it,” Matt smiled. “I even found some of those special flavour doughnuts that you tried a few months ago. So you’ve got something to enjoy tomorrow as well.”

“Tomorrow?” Jay chuckled sceptically. “I’ll be having those bad boys tonight! It is my birthday after all!”

Matt laughed and nodded. There was no arguing with that logic.

“In fact,” Jay continued. “I’d like you to be the one to feed them to me.”

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Matt pretended to spill his glass of water and made a fuss, grabbing a towel from the kitchen.

“Why do you always do that?” Jay asked, obviously downbeat. “You’ve got to know that I love the idea of you feeding me. We both clearly get off on how fat I’m getting. Everyone thinks you’re a feeder now. They saw you with your ex; they’ve seen me getting over 350lbs. You’ve heard them whispering it behind your back. So why won’t you ever feed me?”

Matt tried to brush the comments off. It wasn’t the right time; not on Jay’s birthday. However, his refusal to answer only seemed to make things worse. “Okay,” he finally surrendered. “I’m not being coy,” he admitted. “I… I just…” he stumbled. “It was when I was dating Chris.”

“The four hundred pound guy you were with before me?” Jay asked, with only a mild hint of jealousy.

“Chris and I didn’t meet at a club like I told everyone. We actually met on a kink website for feeders and gainers.” 

“How did I not know this?” Jay laughed, realising that his shy boyfriend had been holding out on him the entire time. “So you used to feed Chris to make him gain weight?”

Matt nodded. “It was great. It felt amazing. I fell ridiculously in love with the guy. He put on about 40lbs in the time we were together.”

“You dark horse!” Jay joked, barely containing his delight.

“But it just wrecked things in the end. We both wanted him bigger and fatter. We spoke about it endlessly. But when Chris was in a mood with me for something, he used to blame only me for making him fat. He said it was all my fault he was so unhappy. I spent so much of my time trying to make him smile and the second something pissed him off, he’d throw it all back in my face.”

“That’s not very nice,” Jay agreed, pleased to finally learn how Matt’s previous relationship had ended.

“Then there was one day when Chris’ car broke down. He came over in such a bad mood and started taking it all out on me. He ended up getting drunk and heading out with his friends. He made out to them all that I was fattening him secretly. He even messaged my parents to say the same thing.”

“Shit!” Jay cringed for him, now realising why Matt’s parents had never been especially warm with him.

“Chris apologised, of course. But it was too late. Fake news like that travels like wildfire. Even though I knew I was always going to be attracted to bigger guys, I always promised myself, I wouldn’t ever get caught up in a situation like that again. Not if it risked making someone as special as you so unhappy.”

Jay nodded, completely understanding. “It makes sense,” he nodded in agreement. “But you’re not to blame for how I’m turning out. I’m not Chris, and I never have been.”

“I get that, but..” Matt tried to counter.

“No, I mean it. I’ve wanted to be a fat boy for as long as I can remember. I felt so ashamed about it. I thought a muscle gain might quench that thirst, but it didn’t. There is no part of me that is doing this just for your pleasure,” he stated sincerely. “So stop with the guilt.”

Matt nodded, feeling that he had been thoroughly put in his place. This wasn’t all about him. This was Jay’s journey.

“But I think you also know how huge I want to get. I know you’ve spotted some of the clothes I’ve been buying recently,” Jay smiled.

“Yeah, those sweatpants you bought the other day…” Matt nodded knowingly. “They were something else!”

Jay beamed with pride. “Aren’t they just!” he chuckled. “So why don’t you tell me, seriously,” he insisted. “How do you really feel about me getting so fat that I could actually wear pants like that?”

Matt considered his answer, knowing how upfront and honest they were both trying to be that evening. “Excited,” he replied simply. “Really turned on by it.”

“So, would you be willing to help me with getting there?” Jay asked.

Matt knew what Jay was asking of him and he sighed at the hard choice he was having to make. “I really want to,” he admitted, rubbing Jay’s rounded gut and admiring the tight softness. “It’s been so difficult trying to hold myself back sometimes.”

“Then stop,” Jay shrugged. “You know that I’m doing this, with or without your help.”

The two men looked at each other with true honesty in their eyes. “Okay,” Matt smiled at last. “Okay, I’ll.. try.”

Jay beamed brightly and slouched his fat body into the tortured couch, placing his limp hands at his side and opening his mouth, waiting. “No time like the present. It is my birthday, after all!”

Matt, who had not been anticipating such an immediate start, fumbled slightly, not knowing what to do as he picked up a doughnut from the table. “Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked nervously.

Jay nodded, raising his eyebrows with excitement, but did not close his mouth as the doughnut was dangled so wonderfully close to his face.

With the doughnut in his hand, Matt pressed it into Jay’s greedy mouth. The boy moaned in appreciation and took as large a bite as he could. The sound was instantly arousing. Already he felt the sugar uncomfortably sticking to his fingers. By the time the third bite came along, he knew the remaining piece was too big, but pushed it into Jay’s mouth anyway; making the fat boy’s cheeks swell with fattening dough and sugar. Yet, still the glutton gorged, sucking the sugar off Matt’s fingers as soon as he possibly could. This was hot!

Jay’s hand reached towards the hunk’s crotch, feeling the arousal his part in the feeding had given him. Then he smirked gleefully. There was no hiding anything now as they both undressed entirely. “Feed me another,” he demanded.

Matt did as he was told, picking up more confidence with each fresh doughnut he pushed into the horny boy’s mouth. Seeing sugar glistening on the glutton’s cheeks, the arousal in his eyes; the pleasure he took from drawing this side of Matt out.

“Am I a good piggy?” Jay asked teasingly,sucking on Matt’s hardness as the doughnuts were all finished at last.

Moaning softly, feeling his dick getting sticky from the fat guy’s sugary saliva, Matt nodded in agreement. Had Jay really just referred to himself as a ‘piggy’?

“Say it then,” Jay demanded, letting his hand take over for the few seconds he needed his mouth to talk. “Tell me what a good, fattening pig I am.”

Matt’s brain was foggy with lust. He could tell that Jay was already holding back, not allowing him to climax just yet. “You’re a good piggy,” he heard himself saying, worrying that he could ejaculate the moment he felt the words leaving his mouth. “And I do want you get fatter,” he admitted. “I always have.”

“Prove it then,” Jay suddenly demanded, slipping his mouth and hands away from Matt’s hardness; cutting him off in an instant.

“How?” Matt asked, having been so close to finishing before this abrupt stop.

“The refrigerator,” Jay simply replied; smirking in triumph.

Matt knew in an instant what he needed to do. He headed straight over and collected Jay’s calorie shake from the cool refrigerator and held it in his hands, about to become the world’s biggest hypocrite after everything he had said about these things.

“What do you want me to do?” asked a super horny birthday boy, laying back again and letting the fat splay into the seat once more.

“I want you to drink it,” Matt replied, already unscrewing the lid.

“What’s it going to do to me?” Jay whispered next, savouring the kinky moment between them both.

“It’s going to make you fatter,” Matt smiled back, so happy to be drawn into the game; so happy that he was doing this at last.

Matt stepped closer to the fat boy and then sat beside him, using his free hand to jiggle the immense softness that had enveloped Jay’s torso, whilst kissing him deeply. Then, just as Jay was really getting into it, he lifted his free hand up and gently rocked the boy’s head backwards so that his mouth pointed towards the ceiling, in position for the pouring.

“Are you ready, Piggy?” Matt asked, finally unleashing his true self. “It’s time to grow for me…”

Jay’s eyes were dancing with excitement as they drifted from his feeder’s gaze and up towards the ominously held jug of calorie shake looming above his head. Then, just like that, his mouth opened wider than Matt had ever seen it go before.

Matt couldn’t put his finger on when exactly he came, but he knew he hadn’t been done pouring. His fat boy had slipped his pudgy, sweaty hand onto his hardness and tugged at it; pushed it right into his giant, jiggling stomach, until Matt could stand it no longer. His orgasm had been years in the making and he moaned louder than any of his former lovers had ever heard him.

A new beast had just been unleashed.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

You guys gotta hear me out.

like.

Do you know how SIMILAR Gumball and Nicole are compared to the rest?

Like it's such a cool detail how gumball and Nicole are two distinct characters who have their fun personality and personal depth but are so similar.

Like you can tell that these two are related.

Like seriously, in earlier seasons gumball was more similar to Richard, actually.

He was a sweetheart, naive and always trying to help people because he wanted to. He was very easy to bully and make fun of because he was naive and "stupid" like his father. the only difference is that Richard never stands up for himself, gumball doesn't. There were several times where gumball gets made fun of and he just screams at them to defend himself because there's no Nicole to defend him (and when he doesn't stand up for himself, penny does.)

Which is a trait he most definitely got from Nicole.

But later on? When he gets his iconic sarcastic personality? He's so much like Nicole.

there were many scenes in some episodes where he just is a tiny version of Nicole, it's actually kinda wholesome. Especially if you count that he looks up to her ( thinks she's cool) so he subconsciously mimics her (like children do, in the end. Especially because he didn't have an older sibling to look up to, unlike Darwin and Anais do.)

And like.

I do have some examples.

> This one is my favorite honestly, when gumball had to make everything perfect because penny was coming over, so he took over and asked (ordered) everyone to be perfect.

This resulted in everyone making more chaos than usual because of how pressured they were (and low-key looked mildly scared whenever gumball came over and screamed at them that they had to do better, and faster, because everything has to be perfect.)

there was a point where he literally picked up trash the same size as him and threw it at his mother (because she had to take out the trash) and ended up throwing her and the trash out without much difficulty.

> Gumball variously shapeshifting into some weird monster things whenever he was slightly pissy or annoyed.

This is one example

> just like Nicole, he too can be super athletic. Remember when rob kidnapped Barbara and then threw an entire bus at gumball? Gumball literally did those cool action scenes where he jumps through the bus and walks away like nothing.

Something his mother does a lot

> Both gumball and Nicole have some immense strength, dude. Despite one never actually exercising for it and the other who didn't do any kind of exercise is years.

Just this whole ep where gumball is a sore loser.

> Him when he was younger.

Yes he was hyperactive, but at the same time he managed to do shit only his mother could

(Being super fast, walking on walls and CEILINGS and having the strength to break through doors too((when he was trying to stop Richard from flushing Darwin.)))

Yeah there's probably more but I'm too lazy to look them up.

ANYWAY.

I NEED someone to write idk. A fic about maybe Nicole slowly figuring out (by these points I just said) that gumball is more similar to her than she imaged, and it can either go into something wholesome, or angst. Your choice

[justthatwwegirl]

(Idk, I'm always making imagines inspired by Laufey songs)

From The Start

(Grayson Waller x Female Reader)

Summary: Y/N finally tells Grayson about her feelings for him and it goes in a way she didn't expect.

(Warnings: Shitty summary and kinda rushed ending, two idiots in love, some cursing, Liv and Austin being icons.)

Y/N sat on one of the crates, opening her water bottle as she had just finished her match.

Her and Dakota faced against eachother, Y/N coming out on top.

Just right as she was still drinking her water, there came the face she had wanted to see, the person who made her smile and blush till she felt like a high school girl with a crush.

"Y/N/N! Congrats on your match." Grayson had said, walking up to her with some food from catering and a vending machine before giving her a hug that she returned back.

"Thank you." Y/N said quietly. She ate the food very eagerly due to her hunger. Not eating before the show or during.

Her and Grayson had been good friends since their NXT days, Y/N falling for the Australian ever since they met and falling even more in love every day after.

The two had grown very close and cared for each other dearly.

Grayson was more outgoing and very much an extrovert. Y/N liked to keep to herself, didn't like going out and was more of an introvert.

"Hey, do you wanna order takeout when we get back to the hotel?" Grayson asked in his Australian accent, making Y/N go weak.

"Um, sure why not." Y/N said, keeping a cool composure.

Grayson smiled at her, making Y/N smiled back automatically, blushing just a little (or a lot).

Grayson had sat next to her, leaning to rest his head on her shoulder.

Y/N smiled and then leaned her head on his.

Just very friendly things...

"I like your gear." Y/N said making Grayson look down at his gear with a smile.

"T-thank you!" Grayson said in a stuttering mess, making Y/N concerned.

"You okay, Gray?" Y/N asked, using his nickname.

Before Grayson could answer, a familiar voice interrupted.

"Y/N!" Liv had said giving Y/N a big hug that Y/N returned.

"I saw your match and you did absolutely amazing!" Liv said making Y/N jump off the crate and slightly nod.

Liv looked at Grayson and at Y/N before holding her hands up. "Looks like I interrupted some time between you and your boyfriend, sorry!" Liv apologized making Y/N rub her face and making Grayson start smiling.

"I'll see you later, Grayson." Y/N said, looking like a red tomato and waved bye.

Grayson frowned a little but ultimately said bye as well.

"Okay, I didn't even do anything wrong, I said the truth." Liv said and Y/N crossed her arms.

"We're not dating! And as much as I would like that, you know he doesn't feel the same way." Y/N said and Liv looked at her confused.

"Y/N, you can't be serious right now." Liv said and Y/N shrugged her shoulders.

"I am. He doesn't like me back and that's fine. I don't wanna ruin years worth of friendship just because I have a crush on him." Y/N said with a frown.

"Girl. You do realize he feels the same right?" Liv asked, making Y/N shake her head.

"I can give you multiple reasons on why I think so!" Liv said before going on a rant making Y/N listen.

Even though Y/N acted like she wasn't interested. Deep deep down, she hoped Liv's reason were true.

"I hope you know that you talk about this man NONSTOP. Pretty much half of our messages is you talking about how much you love him and want him. Well, I'm here to tell you why you should shoot your shot BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU BACK!" Liv said in a frustrated tone making Y/N jump just a little.

"1, when me and Naomi are on the topic of you guys," "Wait you guys talk about us?" "Not important, anyways." Liv continues. "We both notice how much he listens to you when you talk. Not like how a normal guy listens like this man is INVESTED and he always looks at you with those fucking heart eyes." Liv says making Y/N confused.

"Number 2, who got you matching bracelets for your birthday, AND took you to the mall to go on a shopping spree, not minding how much money you spent?" Liv asked making Y/N look down.

"Gray." Y/N whispered. Liv smiled a she proved even more of her point.

"And who gave you matching bracelets in NXT which you are still wearing today?" Liv asked another question making Y/N scoff.

"Gray." Y/N answered once again, showing her wrist that showed the bracelet.

"You can stop this rant-" "I am not done until you say you will tell him." Liv stated making Y/N groan.

"He gets you food almost every day, he literally carried you everywhere when you injured your leg even though you had crunches, even Triple H thought you guys were dating, and then, this man lets you hold his man just because you're nervous-" "Fine, fine! I'll tell him." Y/N said in defeat making Liv jump and down in excitement.

"Yes! Oh my gosh, FINALLY!" Liv says jumping and down, clapping her hands.

"Alright, Liv, chill." Y/N says while Liv takes some breathes before finally calming down.

"It's that obvious?" Y/N asks, looking at Liv.

"Yes. It is that obvious. He even talks to Austin so much about you to the point where Austin calls you Grayson's girlfriend." Liv says making Y/N blush a little and smile.

"And according to Austin, Grayson doesn't correct him." Y/N looks up at Liv.

"Gosh, if you keep telling me this, I'll die of being too flustered." Y/N said before covering her face as she was blushing and smiling too hard.

"When you're not around, the man complains to Austin 24/7 about how much he missed you."

"STOP-"

-

"You still have that?" Y/N pointed to the little wristband that she made for Grayson years ago.

"Yeah, I wear it everyday and pretty much everywhere." Grayson said, holding the door open for Y/N as they walked into the hotel.

"You didn't notice?" Grayson asked making Y/N shake her head.

"No, I thought you had lost it." Y/N said as they got to the counter, booking their room.

"Imagine if they give us the honeymoon room again." Grayson says, making Y/N let out a laugh.

"That was something." Y/N said, shaking her head in a smile as they went toward the elevator.

They entered the elevator, continuing their conversation.

She always made eye contact with him during conversations even though it made her super nervous. But she loved the way they looked and always smiled at least once during every conversation they had.

She always took his features into deep thought.

Just as they were talking, Y/N had remembered what she promised Liv and immediately groaned, rubbing her face.

"Y/N/N, you okay?" Grayson asked, putting his hand on her shoulder make her relax.

"Um yeah, but I kind of wanted to talk to you about something." Y/N said, facing her fears.

"What is it-" A loud sound had interrupted him, making Y/N and Grayson.

"What just happened?!" Y/N asked in a loud tone, looking around.

"Did the elevator get stuck?!" Grayson asked, also looking around.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now." Y/N said stressed, making her grab Grayson's hand.

Grayson held her hand, squeezing it and making them look at each other.

"It's going to be okay, they'll fix it." Grayson said, trying to calm her down even though he was terrible at it.

"You're right." Y/N said before taking some deep breathes but never letting go of his hand.

The two stood in silence. Still holding one another's hand.

Until Grayson broke the silence.

"What were you going to tell me?" He asked, squeezing her hand again as she looked at him.

"I'm going to try and tell you in the best way I can but you make me super nervous and I just-" Y/N paused.

"I just what?" Grayson asked quietly.

"I like you, more than a friend should." Y/N quickly blurted out.

"I've liked you from the start and the feeling has gotten stronger ever since and I understand if you don't feel the same or if you just wanna be friends I'm really sorry-" While Y/N rushed, before she could finish, she felt those soft lips she had always wanted to kiss against hers.

Y/N kissed him back immediately. Not wanting the moment to end ever.

Until Grayson had to pull away.

"Well, if that doesn't tell you that I feel the same way, I don't know what will." Grayson said in his accent that kept making her go weak.

"I'm still a little... shocked that you feel the same, didn't even realize." Y/N said.

"I thought I was being obvious, I kept dropping hints!" Grayson said making Y/N scrunch her eyebrows in confusion.

"I talk about you so much where Austin has to deal with it everyday. He calls you my girlfriend cause I always talk about you!" Grayson said.

'Well, Liv did tell me that.' Y/N thought.

"Everytime we were away, I always fell asleep on the phone with you and every time I see you, I feel like eyes turn into hearts." Grayson continues making Y/N blush.

"I tried giving you hints but I was too damn awkward." Y/N defended herself.

"You know how shy I am, Gray" Y/N says making Grayson smile and nod.

"I do, and every single time you opened up to me or revealed something about yourself, it gave me more reasons on why I love you." Y/N blushed even more at his statement before giving him a look.

"How long have you felt this way?" Y/N asked him.

"Since we met-" "I could have told you this whole time?!" Y/N shouted.

Grayson laughed and nodded before hugging Y/N.

She hugged back and looked up at him. He looked down at her with their eyes locking and leaned in.

He kissed her with such passion that it made her melt as she kissed him back.

She held onto him as the two continued to kiss but both of them didn't hear anything as they felt like they were in a different world when with one another.

And especially didn't hear the elevator door opening.

"OH MY GOSH!" Liv shouted, making Grayson and Y/N pull away, looking to see Liv and Austin standing next to each other.

"YOU OWE ME 50 BUCKS THEORY!" Liv shouted once again and Austin groaned.

"You guys couldn't have waited one more week?" Austin asked as he pulled a 50 dollar bill from his wallet, giving it to Liv as she danced in a celebration.

"I mean if it wasn't for Liv, I still would be dreaming my fantasies with him away." Y/N said making Grayson start blushing.

Grayson and Y/N stepped out of the elevator while Liv and Austin got in. Everyone said goodbye to eachother while the elevator closed and once again, Y/N and Grayson were alone again.

"Does this make us a couple?" Grayson asked and Y/N nodded her head.

"I hope so. I want to be your girlfriend." Y/N said with another smile as she kissed Grayson again.

"And I want to be your boyfriend." Grayson said, kissing her back while she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Then, we're together, Gray." She whispered and leaned in for another kiss which Grayson immediately obliged too.

The End ♡

[alex31624]

Duck Comic Reading Club Week 8: Dangerous Disguise

Ok, I'm finally finishing up the week 8 reviews. Let's go right away into Dangerous Disguise, is my first Carl Barks reading and I sure that is going to be greaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?

Humans? Regular, everyday, no question about it, humans? What the hell man? This is not right, no, no, no. Also...

Where in Dismal Downs are they? Crime Villa? Is this place safe for the babies?

Gosh… everything here seriously creep me out… anyway…

Imagine how mad Scrooge was at Donald and the babies that he actually sent them to another country. That crazy old bird is a pro hater.

After Donald mentioned the spies, HDL went crazy about it. They started seen spies in every corner, and drove Donald insane. In this situation, I have to be on Donald side, kids can be annoying.

I'm a grown man, and if that guy starts talking to me, I'd run to another city, but Donald thinks it's a good idea to help this stranger hiding under a pier.

Turns out that Donald passed a secret message to Madame Triple-X, professional spy. Spy that buries the message in front of witnesses that later recover that said message.

The kids show the message to Donald that takes the obvious choice, confront the spy.

Don, buddy, you're not PK here. Call the police.

Donald and the kids took the train directly to Chiliburgueria, just to realize that Madame Triple-X is in a plane to the same destination. Bad luck.

But the surprises are far from over.

Another spy is ready to take down the Ducks. But, do not worry, Huey has a plan…

He killed him.

Huey killed him.

Look at this. Look at it. That guy is dead, is deader than my dreams of Ducktales season 4.

Well, for reasons, Madame Triple-X is now in the Ducks' wagon. Donald tries to steal her purse, only to be discovered, and he and the boys are thrown out of the train. Luckily, they fell on a pond.

The kids complain, but Donald was one step ahead, because he now has Madame Triple-X's purse.

They now can make some lunch.

Madame Triple-X is also thrown out of the train, and is once again, face to face with our heroes.

And she proceeds to...

Oh, for duck sake!

Guys, the lunch thing was a joke! Don't eat the salami sandwich the evil spy offers to you!

And of course the sandwich put the Ducks to sleep. And of course Donald's neck fell directly on the tracks.

Thank God, the trainmen strike saves Donald.

Lucky.

The Ducks steal the train and arrive to Chiliburgueria where they find Donaldo.

So, Donaldo is a bullfighter, therefore, I hate him. I'm against that barbarism wrongly named culture.

But, the guy was taken down by his doppelganger, and treated by evil ten-years-old triplets. What a day.

Donald took Donaldo's place in order to capture Madame Triple-X, and I wonder…

Donaldo has the same voice impediment that Donald has? They look identical but, the voice… Donald voice is the most recognizable voice ever.

And back to the looks one second, how is that Donaldo looks exactly like Donald? I think Quackmore has a lot to explain.

After a bullfight where, thankfully, no bull was harm, Donald finally convinces Madame Triple-X that he's the spy. Only for Donaldo to break free and end the charade.

But then…

Madame Triple-X was a secret secret service member all along! And she almost fail her mission, because those damn Ducks.

Donaldo then, jump through the window. No second thought about it.

The Ducks then came back to Crime Villa to enjoy their vacation.

What can I said about this one? It was weird, and fun, and crazy, and stupid, and I loved it.

More of this, please.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for exposing strangers to danger out of awkwardness? I know it sounds bad but hear me out.

About a month ago, I (M30s) was at the local pub having some pints when these two guys (M20s) come in. It's obvious from their accents that they're foreigners, and they are a lot younger than most other customers (various, 40s-60s). At a guess they were probably university students on holiday. I also found out later that they were Jewish but I cannot stress enough that nobody knew that, it's not an antisemitism thing, so please do not make it about that. Just, full disclosure.

Anyway, they tried to order food (this isn't a restaurant) and then hot chocolate (no chance). The bartender, "Ruth" (F50s) was actually pretty rude to them, like she was trying right away to get them to leave (more on that later). Everyone sees this happening and it's really uncomfortable. I mean, all conversations have stopped (it's not a very big place). But it's cold outside, so they decide to stay for a while.

Fortunately, one of them makes a reference to a movie and it gets picked up by a couple of other people, which really breaks the tension. Everyone relaxes and people are laughing and joking around until out of nowhere that same guy points at one of the wall decorations and very loudly goes "What's that doing here?" It's actually a locally significant symbol, but the way he asked seemed somehow confrontational, and we're not gonna try to explain it to someone we just met, especially since it's more like he expects us to justify it or something. It sucks all the air out of the room immediately, and the guy's friend decides they should leave.

This is where maybe I/we were the assholes. The thing is, this is actually a pretty dangerous area, but these guys are clearly young and clueless. There's no Uber here and no transit that late, so they're going to be on foot, easy prey should anything happen. Now Ruth has done a 180 and she wants to stop them leaving. We're all like, lady, you were the one trying to get rid of them as soon as they arrived. No one wanted them to stick around making everything so awkward. We did warn them, but it really seemed like they weren't taking it very seriously. They leave. Ruth and one or two others are upset with everyone. Nobody really felt great about it, but they were really killing the vibe, you know?

Well, now I really really feel like shit about it, because it turns out that they did get jumped. They had no idea how serious the danger was, and we let them go like lambs to the slaughter. One of them landed in the hospital and the other ended up undead and walking the earth in limbo until the Curse of the Werewolf is lifted—when his friend dies!

So, was I the asshole for letting a couple of Americans go walking over the moors on the night of a full moon? 🚶‍♂️🌕🐺😵💀

What are these acronyms?

[dtriad]

I came across this bilibili video with commentary on a lot of the actors in Romance of the Three Kingdoms (1994). Adding my own scatter-brained thoughts on some of the featured characters, with timestamps:

Bi Yanjun as Yang Xiu / Li Ru (6:31) - omg TIL they were played by the same actor? I see it now... the power of facial hair & acting lmao. I like Yang Xiu a lot :3 though here he's not overtly obnoxious (affectionate) like Zhai Tianlin's Yang Xiu in TAA

Li Jianyi / Xiu Zongdi as Chen Gong (7:00) - XZD's Chen Gong is /chef's kiss/ I love the final Cao Cao/Chen Gong breakup scene at 白门楼, Cao Cao gazing at his white moonlight who refuses any possibility of surrender/reconciliation (Cao Cao: you'd rather be with Lü Bu than be with me??? HIM??? and now you'd rather die than be with me???)

Cao Li as Lu Su (9:17) - babyface mengmeng!!!!!! way too cute & honest compared to historical Lu Su haha

Gao Lancun as Sima Zhao (10:17) - confession, I still haven't watched the whole thing in order b/c I keep jumping around & picking out scenes/arcs instead, sooooo I have mostly skipped Sima Zhao content... but I love OP's description of Sima Zhao "who seems like he's looking at [others as] trash" lmaooo

An Yaping as Ma Chao (10:53) - 锦马超! Luo Guanzhong: /sweating I gotta spruce up this guy dammit! well good job LGZ I love watching him go after Cao Cao

Chen Hong as Diaochan (11:35) - MY DARLING!!!!!!! I really enjoy all the moments when she darts a glance at Dong Zhuo or Lü Bu to gauge her next move. & LOVE her character song—

Yang Fan / Zhang Shan / Hou Yongsheng as Zhao Yun (12:28) - ZILONG! ZILONG! too many A+ character songs... Zhang Shan's horsemanship was crazy good

Wu Xiaodong as Sun Quan (13:20) - he successfully captures that bearing/air as a ruling lord, but I'm sorry Sun Quan every time I look at you I think 孙十万... pls, let your generals do the fighting 😂 also I am weirded out by the fact he's got a luxurious beard while Zhou Yu goes around w/o one because then he would blow his identity as young Yuan Shao (speaking of facial hair, they dropped the ball with Sun Ce, why didn't he get a beard as nice as Sun Quan's!!)

Zhang Tianshu / Fan Zhiqi as Jiang Wei (14:14) - my young bb 甜姜! my old bb 苦姜! ;_______; ok tbh the thing that bugs me most about the 2010 drama is that they end the final ep with Sima Yi's death and toss in a voiceover "yadda yadda a decade+ later, Shu surrendered, yadda yadda" and THAT'S IT???? BUT WHERE IS THE CULMINATION OF THE TRAGEDY OF JI HAN???? JIANG WEI???? if you don't wanna adapt that part then ok just own it and wrap up the show with a thematically appropriate ending, why even bother to shove the idea of 分久必合 into the voiceover during the last half-minute as;dlkfja;sdlk. anyway wahhhh @ OP's commentary: "���维是承载着蜀汉的所有美好与激情的存在，但是最后终会化为壮烈与凄凉 [...] 我们会在樊志起的身上看到诸葛亮，看到关羽，看到赵云，看到刘备的影子" ;______;

Zhang Guangbei as Lü Bu (17:15) - hahaha omg he originally intended to audition for Zhou Yu???? ok, especially after reading 《早安！三国打工人》I can't help but admit he's become my poor little muddle-headed meow meow... and ZGB is A+ in this role

Hong Yuzhou as Zhou Yu (18:35) - 美周郎 absolutely deserves that BGM cut at 19:28 /swishes cloak

Wei Zongwan as Sima Yi (20:37) - SO. MUCH. happening beneath the stillness of Sima Yi. he also deserves that BGM cut at 21:24. the ultimate 猫头鹰!!

Sun Yanjun as Liu Bei (23:27) - I like the historical Liu Bei more than ROTK Liu Bei, but major major major props to SYJ for, frankly, elevating ROTK Liu Bei with his portrayal, so 央三 Liu Bei > novel ROTK Liu Bei \o/

Tang Guoqiang as Zhuge Liang (24:31) - YES

Bao Guo'an as Cao Cao (26:46) - HELL YES

this got so much longer than I expected /facepalm

[episodicnostalgia]

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 125 (May 16, 1988) - “The Neutral Zone”

Teleplay by: Maurice Hurley Story by: Deborah McIntyre & Mona Clee Directed by: James L. Conway

The Breakdown

This is one of those “multiple story lines going on at the same time” episodes, so first let’s deal with…

Plotline  #1 – After the Enterprise scanners pick up an old earth space capsule that piques Data’s interest, he and Worf decide to hop over and take a look. There they find three preserved bodies in cryonic chambers, which are beamed over to sick bay.  Turns out these three bodies have been sitting out in space since the late 20th century, y’know, from 25 years ago when people began the common practice of preserving their deceased loved ones (it was like Tamagotchi’s, everyone was doing it) in the hope of reviving them when medical science had advanced far enough.  That’s right, I said deceased.  These three people were frozen at the exact moment of their death (that’s gotta be tricky to pull off), and now revived 300 years by Dr. Beverly Crusher herself; their company is comprised of a Rich Guy who played the stock market, A mother of two, and a drug addicted musician. 

The episode follows the newly resurrected boomers, as they grapple with the fact that they’ve jumped 300+ years into the future, and that their loved ones are all dead, etc. The Rich dude (Ralph ) has a particularly hard time coping with the fact that his fortune is both nonexistent and (even if it weren’t) meaningless, since the pursuit of wealth and power no longer holds any sway in the post-scarcity 24th century. The mother (Clare) understandably spends most of the runtime being depressed, until Troi points out that she has a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, who will undoubtedly welcome his displaced ancient ancestor with open arms. Lastly, the musician (Sonny) pretty much stays a lecherous, sexist, alcoholic, but he’s mostly having a good time enjoying the replicators and hanging out with his new guitar. At various points they inconvenience Picard (who’s dealing with more important things in the other plotline), but mostly they kind of sit around as the Enterprise crew smugly judge them for being ignorant and confused, until they’re transferred to another ship that will take them back to earth and become someone else’s problem.

Plotline #2 -  Starfleet outposts along the Neutral Zone (the established border between the Federation and the Romulan Empire) are being destroyed, and Picard has been ordered to check out if the Romulans are to blame.  Most of the Episode deals with Picard getting the bridge crew to study the Romulans so they can form a strategy, but that’s easier said than done, since it’s been decades since anyone has heard from them.

Anyways, when they finally arrive along the edge of ‘the zone’, Worf makes a shocking revelation that their outposts aren’t destroyed, but rather completely missing, since there would be some sign of debris otherwise.  Shortly thereafter a Romulan ship decloaks, and their captain explains to Picard that their outposts are also missing, and figured it was the Federation’s doing, but now realize it must have been someone-or-something else. Thankfully cooler heads prevail, and both sides agree to collaborate on solving this mystery later on, and then leave, but not before making a thinly-veiled threat that they’ll be back to cause more trouble down the road.

So, on that disconcerting note, the Enterprise optimistically heads back to its regular business because this is the finale, and we need to wrap things up until next season!

The Verdict

The thing is, both plot outlines have plenty of potential, in their own right.  A story about displaced-wealthy-20th-century-folk struggling to fit into a society that has no place for their ideologies, is a perfect theme for Star Trek. And I’ll admit, there’s every chance that the execution of such a story would come off as pretentious and out-of-touch as anything else the show put out during this season, but even a failed attempt would be interesting to watch… provided of course that it was the primary focus of the episode.  My biggest issue wasn’t how hilariously proud of itself the Hurley's script is for criticizing capitalism (while we’re at it, did you know slavery and genocide are also bad? Follow me, for more deep insights!), but rather that the story doesn’t really go anywhere, or do anything with the subject matter.

Ralph (the survivor with the most screen time) is arrogant and demeaning to the crew because he’s used to getting his own way, and we are made to understand that his love of money is directly tied to his character flaws, which is fine, but then what? At one point there’s a scene where he disregards Picard’s orders (to calm the fuck down and stay out of the way), and chooses to intrude on bridge just in time to see the Romulans being space-jerks, but there are no real consequences or thematic correlation, rendering the moment pointless. In the end Ralph seemingly resigns himself to accepting his new lot in life, but has nothing in the way of a meaningful epiphany to help him reach that point. Clare and Sonny both have similarly meandering “journeys” as well. Clare ultimately takes comfort in knowing she has living a descendant (who doesn’t know her, or share any cultural values), while Sonny just happily concludes that since everyone he knows is dead, he doesn’t need to worry about facing any accountability for his past (and seemingly hurtful) life choices.  Remember kids, the secret to finding inner peace is in outliving everyone you've ever wronged!

Meanwhile, the “Romulans-are-back” story line is conceptually more exciting, but it takes almost the entire episode for anything to happen. The most intriguing development is the revelation that some other unknown entity may pose a threat big enough to challenge both the Federation and Romulan empire simultaneously, but then it’s quickly tossed away in favour of a generalized tease about the Romulans stepping up as the show’s primary antagonist. It’s not so much that it’s bad, but like the “boomers-in-space” story, it doesn’t really go anywhere, leaving us with what is essentially a promise that more interesting episodes will continue the story “some other time.”

Now before anyone gets up in arms, yes I am aware that this episode was originally intended as the first in a multi-episode arc, before the writers strike forced them to rework their plan [more on this below].  Be that as it may, even if part 2 had both A) existed, and B) rocked hard, this is still a weakly structured episode.  That’s not to say I hated ‘the neutral zone’ altogether, but I certainly can’t say I thought it was good. 

Nice try guys, maybe next time.

1.5 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Apathetic utopia: One thing that doesn’t sit right with me is the sheer disregard that Picard and many of his crew show for the space-boomer’s safety and well being. For starters, Riker was barely willing to let Data check out the capsule to begin with (even after Data points out that it could have historical value, if nothing else), but even after Data and Worf discover the bodies, Riker seems put out by Data’s insistence that they be preserved.  Then, to make matters worse, when Picard hears that the SB’s have been revived he’s downright irritable with Data, arguing that he should have left the survivors behind because “they WERE dead at the time.”  But like… here’s the thing, Dr. Crusher examined their bodies and discovered that all of them could be revived with relative ease, which suggests they were only clinically dead, and it’s commonly accepted that the window of revival in the Trek universe is significantly larger than our present day reality.�� So yeah, they were technically dead, I suppose, but not irretrievably, which I would argue comes with a clear moral responsibility. The context for Picard’s ambivalence toward the situation is that he’s stressed about the upcoming Romulan mission, but that’s still an oddly callous stance for a man who professes the sanctity of life.

Silly things I find interesting: Introducing, the Borg! …kinda.  I can’t remember if the missing outposts are ever mentioned again in the show, but the intended continuation of this story was originally meant to serve as an introduction to the Borg, who would have been revealed as the true culprits. Obviously that didn’t pan out, but it’s interesting to think what might have been.

In fairness to the writers, a big part of why the script was so lacklustre is, once again, due to the strike. Basically, once a writers strike is underway, productions aren’t allowed to make any changes to a script until the union signs an agreement. Knowing the strike was imminent, it seems Maurice Hurley had no choice but to whip up a completed script based on the first draft, in only a couple days time.  Needless to say, the results speak for themselves.  Ultimately, I think it would have made more sense for the studio to keep the script for the following season; ‘Conspiracy’ was already a much more exciting episode, and would have served as a stronger season finale.

Did you know that... in Canada (where I'm from) our "Universal health coverage" still doesn't cover cryogenic suspension. So reach out to your MP and let them know we demand better comprehensive coverage before the next federal election! [All kidding aside, we should be doing that anyway. Seriously, how is dental not inherently included in that?]

[cloudykaii]

little things: txt

the second installment of the little things series.

includes: sixth member of txt

genre: cute, platonic, personal headcanons

you have a significantly different relationship with each of them, but none of them are lesser. it’s very obvious that the six of you have a very deep amount of love and respect for each other, and that doesn’t change. you have been through a lot with the support of each other, and also suffered together. there are so many moments to remember and choose from, but some of them just stick out more than the others.

YEONJUN

i just feel like you and yeoniun have a very funny relationship. He's definitely like your pretend sworn enemy. You'll joke together all the time. His favorite one to tell is that he raised you yet you constantly disrespect him. There is even a viral video of him talking to the camera about how you're his least favorite member because all he's done his best to teach you wrong from right and you just couldn't get it, and then immediately followed by clips him letting you do whatever you want, like putting random clips and pins all over his hair while he's talking.

He's notoriously known for lying about you lol. Notoriously known for pretending he's not soft for you. There are viral videos of things like him yelling about who ate his leftovers and being mad then seconds later soobin tells him it was you and he's just deflating and going, "just ask next time, I'll order you your own fresh."

 He's also your favorite to prank yourself. It's always a war; he'll put salt in your drink, you'll saran wrap yeonjun's door so that he has to run through it to leave his room. If anyone ever asks about why yeonjun dyes his hair so much, you always say because you're sneaky and yeonjun doesn't buy his own shampoo. Despite all of that though, whenever anything goes too far, he is always the first to apologize

SOOBIN

Soobin best brother is my favorite agenda. He's very attentive and protective. Possibly a little overbearing but not in a "you can't be around anyone" way. He's just always concerned. He makes sure that even if you say you're fine that you pack a sweater or something when it is cold, always making sure your favorite snacks are stocked up.

He's kind of like your moral compass because he's definitely the one to be like "hey not tonight we have an event in the morning" and definitely makes you take care of yourself, but also, he does in fact lie for you in a heartbeat. one time yeonjun ran into his room covered in whipped cream, "where's y/n, I know she did this" and soobin just patted the pile of pillows under the blanket next to him and shook his head. "sorry to burst your bubble but she's been in here all night"

Coordinates matching outfits with you all the time. You probably steal his clothes claiming they will help in your mission to make your outfit iconic. Which..honestly you could tell him you needed it for any reason and he'd give it to you. Soobin is physically unable to tell you know unless it is a matter of your health. There are lots of videos of you wearing soobin's jacket whenever the stylists give you a dress or something. He's definitely the one to lay it over your lap when you're sitting

BEOMGYU

Gyu is a tough nut to crack. I think that you guys are probably shipped the most, but it's ironic because the usual shippable moments that fans latch on to either don't happen or are very lowkey the two of you are.. unique. For a better insight into your relationship with beomgyu, a list of viral moments/thins relating to your and your third oldest brother are:

You are constantly copying him. Most of the time it's not even direct or on purpose so most fans find it adorable how you're wearing the same outfit he wore two performances ago.

You jumping over a table to full body tackle him over a game of uno, him picking you up in the air by your ankle because he asked if you wanted to go somewhere and you said no so he literally took you anyways. Beomgyu going in for a hug only to turn it into a chokehold. The two of you sharing one blanket at a little campfire thing and him holding your hands to keep them warm. Beomgyu pouting and asking you to dye your hair to match him, you falling asleep with your head in his lap

The two most iconic moments that no one ever forgets, is when beomgyu said he was proud of you without knowing that a camera was filming, and when he was crying because his family was in the audience, and you just hugged him the entire time the guys were talking onstage. These are the famous moments because despite how much you two mess with each other it is obvious that you both love each other.

TAEHYUN

Very soft best friends. Lots of inside jokes, very hands on. It is far from uncommon for the two of you to be found giggling about something found totally mundane by anyone else. And when I say you guys are soft I mean it's literally like the famous dynamic between you both. Countless images of you guys being cute together are spread, first most shipped duo where you're concerned

He's an absolute sucker for you. Would let you get away with burning the world down and stop anyone trying to hinder you. Lets you practice things on his hair like braiding or pins. Whenever he buys something like food or a souvenir and you're not there you can always hear him mumbling to himself, "should I get y/n one?" usually then turns to ask kai for advice if he's there.

Tbh, would probably also egg on the shippers. Never in a way you're not comfortable with or is obvious, but he'll do things like hold your hand for extended periods of time, pat your head. One time, he had been extra bold and kissed you on the head and slid his hand into your back pocket. That little move is a rare occurrence, but he does it because he loves fueling the running joke of your being his girlfriend lol.

Also loves when you baby him and make him feel completely taken care of. You carry around extra water and snacks- or sometimes they're just for him and the way you remember little things he tells you always reminds him that even if he has no one else he has you.

HUENINGKAI

If you and Taehyun are soft best friends, you and kai are soft soulmates. He is your biggest fan, and I will in fact die upon this hill. He loves you so much, and he sees the way you go out of your way to care for literally everyone else, and he has enough people taking care of him. For every one thing you do for him he does three for you.

Carries around three hair ties on his wrist. If stylists say he has to take it off he makes sure to keep them in his pocket just in case. He has a pack of bobby pins and he bought you a jacket to match his favorite that he keeps in his bag for you. Has a list of all your favorites; movies, shows, snacks, colors, materials, restaurant orders. Has a list of things you hate that he keeps both on his phone and printed and posted on a wall in the kitchen so mistakes never happen. Ever since the great pumpkin fiasco of 2020.

Has previously sat with you in his lap, bundled up in his coat because you fell asleep. I think everyone who knows the two of you and like k-moa ship you, nit international fans think it's all platonic. Very touchy, finding moments where the two of you just so happen to be linking pinkies or high fiving each other while performing is like the moa equivalent to finding easter eggs in taylor swift songs.

I mean literally soulmates, whether platonic or romantic is yet to be found, but the two of you are attached at the hip, sharing the same brain cell and everything. Ironically, I think he would also be the most protective. He has sisters and after hearing about their struggles within their groups and knowing that things are already different for you as the only girl in an otherwise boy group, he tries to be like your advocate, wanting things to be easier for you.

[zeeamoe]

The Boy That Sits Alone In The Front Row Always Wears A Black Sweater

part 4 of this post click here for the previous part

“This part is wrong.”

“Ugh…”

“This one is repeating the third point.”

“Ughhh…”

“From this line to the end of the page makes no sense, rewrite it.”

“Ughhhhh arghhh…”

I bumped my head on the table multiple times as he was calmly looking through my work and giving feedback.

As promised, we were having lunch together in the campus cafeteria again. Both of us had ordered rice and fish from one of the stalls based on my recommendation.

After chewing down his food, he commented again.

“Overall, it’s not bad. The structure is clearer than yesterday’s”

A compliment from this guy? Unbelievable.

I tilted to the side so that my cheek was on the table and I looked up at him.

“Was that a pity remark?”

“Yes.”

I groaned.

“You were supposed to say no. This is why you don’t have friends.”

“Hey, I tried to be nice. You were the one with trust issues.”

He dragged my laptop around and pushed it over to me.

I lazily took the laptop and lifted my head slightly, my chin barely hovering the table surface.

I started to work on the project, taking his advice into account.

Tap, tap, tap.

Meanwhile, he continued to finish his lunch while playing a game on his phone with one hand.

I mumbled a question.

“What time is your next class?”

He mumbled back.

“...Mn.”

The cafeteria was buzzing with people going back and forth and all of them talking at the same time, so his voice was drowned out.

“Oi, speak louder!”

He looked up from his phone and glared at me.

“You were also mumbling.”

“Yeah, but you can hear me!”

“The problem is your ears, not my voice.”

I stuck out my tongue at him. Then I continued to focus on my laptop.

The more I hang out with him, the ruder he becomes. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing. Maybe he got comfortable? Or maybe he just has a shit personality.

A few seconds went by before he spoke again, with a clearer voice.

“I said 2:30.”

“Oh, and how long?”

“Two hours.”

“Mine, too! Except that it starts at 2.”

He didn’t reply to that.

After a few moments, I stopped typing on my laptop. My mind was blocked with all the noises in the cafeteria. For some reason, it seemed that today was packed with more people than yesterday.

My class will start soon anyway.

I closed the laptop and laid my head down on my arms, watching him tap his fingers on the phone. He was now playing with both hands, and I saw the empty paper box of his lunch at the corner of the table.

Without intending it, my gaze lingered on the sleeves of his black sweater covering all the way up to his wrists, almost touching his palms.

The sweater material was pretty thick… which meant that his arms must be really thin.

I shook the thought away.

“What game are you playing?”

“Battle Legends.”

I’ve heard of that. I might have played it at some point, and I know some of my friends play that game.

“You like playing games?” I asked again.

He took a quick glance at me before answering. I immediately had a bad feeling.

“No, I actually hate playing games— What the hell do you think?”

There you go, the sarcasm went loose.

I rolled my eyes, “Geez, I was just asking.”

It fell silent again, just between us. There were loud noises bouncing all around the cafeteria.

A few moments later, I spoke up.

“Do you only play games on your phone or do you play any other games?”

“Hmm… I used to play on my computer, but I got lazy setting it up, and since I’ve played all the games there, I got bored, but I also got lazy buying new ones.”

There was a faint sound coming from his phone.

Duruduu-

It sounded like a win or something.

Then, he clicked on something which sounded like he was starting a new one.

He continued to talk, probably distracted as he was playing at the same time.

“Come to think of it, I also used to play games that required physical movements a lot. Like Vii Sports, or Jump It. But it was tiring, so I stopped.”

“I can’t imagine that. You? Moving?”

“I know right.”

He answered back mockingly in a high pitched voice.

But really, I genuinely couldn’t imagine him playing something relatively active. Even when he’s playing on his phone, I noticed that he was moving his fingers as if it were a chore. He didn’t even throw out the trash to the garbage room that was only a few steps away from his apartment.

He added something out of nowhere.

“That was probably when I was 9 or something.”

Ah, that explained it.

He probably never moved another muscle since.

“By the way, aren’t you going to class?” he asked, his eyes glued to his phone.

It was past 2, by the way.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

I grabbed my bag and slid it across the table as I got up.

By the time I reached the elevator, I looked back to see him still at the table, on his phone. I guess he would be waiting there until his class started.

I wonder if he had always sat at the table alone like that every lunch break.

The image popped into my head. The pale boy in a black sweater sitting alone at the table that was jarringly emptier than the tables around it. He would be slouching with his eyes glued to his phone. No one bothered him, as no one seemed to care.

But it wasn’t a lonely image. He didn’t seem lonely doing that.

I didn’t like that there was no loneliness there. As if he thought that that’s how it’s supposed to be.

And the image of him sitting alone in his dimly lit apartment full of trash came up in my head. My face frowned just thinking of it. I quickly fixed it before entering the classroom.

Thankfully, the professor wasn’t here yet.

I spotted my friends and noticed a seat they had saved for me. I didn’t think much before immediately heading there.

As I sat down, one of my friends asked.

“Hey, so where did you get lunch?”

I usually went out with them every Thursday because the lunch break was longer than the other, and most of us didn’t have any overlapping schedules. Today was the first time this semester that I didn’t go with them.

“The cafeteria,” I answered.

“With that other friend you talked about? It’s weird that I’ve never heard of him, you said that we have a Monday class with him?”

“Yeah, the one who’s always in front.”

A different friend chimed in.

“Oh, oh! I think I know, the one who’s always wearing black? Dude’s exactly like me, only wearing black all day everyday! Hahaha!”

He’s not wrong, but that guy was not just wearing black, he wears the same exact sweater all day everyday.

Then again, I don’t think he’s completely invisible. Most people would be aware of him, but it felt as if something about him was just saying, ‘Don’t talk to me,’ and not in a rude way. In fact, it was more like a request. His demeanor was telling people that he didn’t need any friends.

He wasn’t exactly unapproachable. He didn’t have a gloomy aura as well, despite the dark look. I just knew that he could make friends if he wanted too.

No one would’ve guessed that he was… like that.

And surprisingly, he was diligent for college. Top marks and all. 

Which reminded me to pay attention to class as the professor had already jumped into the topic for more than a few minutes.

.

.

.

I stood by and watched from the hallway as students poured out from a classroom. Some of them greeted me.

“Hey, whatcha doin here?”

“Don’t forget to come over this weekend!”

“Hi, how’s it going?”

“Oooh, are you waiting for someone?”

“I thought you’d be home by now.”

I only laughed lightly as I greeted each of them back. 

All the while, the bastard I was waiting for went past me without even sparing a glance. His eyes were stuck on his phone screen.

I quickly walked up to him and elbowed his stomach, hard.

“Ow! What the f*ck?”

“I know you were aware I’m here! You were ignoring me on purpose.”

His eyes squinted, then his eyebrows raised.

“Oh, you were looking for me?”

The nerve he had to be confused. It didn’t matter if I was looking for him or not, you should greet your friend when you see them.

I rolled my eyes again, for I don’t know how many times today, and replied, “Take a look at my work again.”

“Right now? Here?”

We were in the middle of the hallway. Most of everyone had gone down the elevator, while some were still waiting as it was too full.

I looked around and shrugged, then I walked into the classroom that he had just went out off. The lights were already off, and I turned them back on.

As I was turning on my laptop on the nearest desk, he walked into the classroom reluctantly.

“When did you have the time to fix it? Did your class end early or something?”

“No, I did it in class.”

I heard a sigh.

“This is why you’re failing.”

“Don’t worry! If you look at my grades, I’m not failing in that particular class! This project’s more important!”

“What’s the grade?” he asked as he bent down to look at the laptop screen.

I shamelessly yelled, “56!”

For the record, the passing grade is 55… I know, but I was still 1 point ahead, so I should be proud. Yes.

I heard a heavier sigh. Then, I slapped his shoulder.

“I hired you to help me with this project, don’t get distracted with the other courses!”

“Mhm…”

He quietly read the rest of my work, occasionally typing something and highlighted some parts. I was awkwardly fidgeting behind him. Huh. This kind of felt like a moment when your teacher was examining your artwork in elementary and all you could do was wait nervously.

After a while, he stood back straight.

“Mmm… it’s alright, but if I’m being nitpicky there are some details you still need to fix, so I left some comments.”

“Halrighty, professor skunk! It seems nothing shall ever satisfy your standards!”

I giddily took the laptop back and put it in my bag. 

He made a disgusted face.

“You were the one who said you needed an A.”

“Yup, yup!”

“Also, what did you call me? Skunk?”

“Yup, yup!”

His mouth hung open. He looked at me in disbelief.

I grinned, “You know, you have dark black hair, and you wear black sweater all the time, black pants most of the time. Also, your face is really pale! So the combination of that just makes you look like a skunk.”

I was quite happy with the nickname I came up with. His face slowly turned into a frown.

“And you smell,” I added.

Now, his face turned into a glare. 

Without saying a word, he took out his phone, went through the contacts, typed something in, and then showed the screen towards me. I read the name of the contact.

“...Imbecile.”

He pointed at me with his chin.

“It’s you.”

“What the f*ck?”

“You know, you’re dumb, and… you’re dumb… oh, you’re also dumb.”

“Skunks can be cute!” I gestured to his phone, “This is just bullying!”

He nonchalantly flipped his phone back towards him.

“It’s the truth.”

“At least you could use terms that are mild! Like, idiot, dumbass… or moron! I’d even accept moron!”

He sucked in a hiss as if it was a difficult decision.

“Yeah, but none of those really capture the capacity of your brain.”

I looked down and pouted, “Imbecile is too rude… change it.”

He rolled his eyes and started typing something. No way, did he unlock some kind of sympathy from my pouting?

Then, he showed his screen.

[Imbeseal]

After reading itI gave him a glare in return.

He pointed to the end of the contact name.

“You read this? It says seal. I made sure it contained an animal, so it can be cute. Seals are annoying, though.”

I shrugged, “You know what, I can accept this.”

“Really? Wow, you really are an Imbe-seal.”

“Whatever. Anyway, I’m coming over.”

“What? Why?”

Why? Well, first, your apartment lights need to be changed. Second, If I don’t come over you might skip dinner or worse, not getting yourself water. Third, I need to do something to get rid of the image of you alone in the apartment.

I opened my mouth.

“I’m fixing the project right away. You’ll help me in real time, and you’ll give me more pointers so I can work on it on the weekends.”

“Will you be cleaning?”

…What?

Before I could process his question, he spoke up again.

“Just to let you know, the apartment’s still clean, and there’s no trash, so you don’t need to clean up today.”

Oh…

I guess he took it literally when I said I’ll clean up his apartment in return for his help with the project.

“That’s fine, I have other payment methods!”

He was confused, but I ignored him.

Moments later, after we went to his apartment and  I changed his lights, he was standing with his arms crossed and nodding.

“Not what I expected when you said ‘other payment methods’.”

“Why? Were you thinking of something dirty?” I laughed as I went down the ladder.

He turned around and threw himself onto the sofa, “Get over yourself.” 

“I was joking. Why would I want to be anywhere near a skunk? The smell’s contagious.”

Suddenly, he shouted.

“Seal! Imbeseal!”

It was the loudest I’ve ever heard of his voice.

“Chill, man. That was a joke, too! Ever heard of it? For someone so smart, you’re very slow when someone's kidding around.”

Instead of responding to my sarcasm, he asked an unrelated question.

“How much were the lights?”

“Nah, it’s on me.”

“It’s my apartment.”

“I know you’d never change them. I just wanted to, because how else am I going to take my lessons properly with professor skunk? If it’s too dark, It’ll hurt my eyes!”

I thought he would reply with another comeback, but he stayed quiet. 

I folded the ladder and put it inside a closet room. How did this guy even have a ladder when he didn’t have a water dispenser? Should I get one for him? Ah, but my money…

Water bottles should be enough.

I bought a bunch of water bottles with the reason of, ‘It’s my fuel to work on the project’, and he let it slide. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice when I’d go home without taking them.

Click.

The lights turned on.

It was obviously much brighter than before, even though it didn’t do much because the sun was still shining through the window. I felt much better.

“All set! Time to work!”

He didn’t give any response, and as always, was already back on his phone to play a game.

The day went on with me typing on my laptop, and soft noises coming out from his game filled the apartment. Every now and then, he’d take a look and make some suggestions or criticize something.

I never spent so much time with this level of productivity. Originally, I just wanted to keep him company, but I didn’t know what other reasons to be here other than doing the project.

So, now I’m stuck. Forcing myself to focus on this one thing.

Most of the time, I would be on a call with my friends or watch a drama or something. I just felt bad it might annoy him if I do something like that. And without realizing, I worked on it for hours.

To be honest, I didn’t plan on staying this long at his apartment. I didn’t realize that it was already dark outside because the lights were bright.

“What time is it?”

I heard the sound stopped, he probably paused his game.

“7:05.”

It was way, way later than what I thought.

“Should we get dinner? I’m starving!”

He didn’t answer immediately.

“I’m too lazy to go out…”

Hmm? I feel like he’s politely trying to kick me out. Too bad.

“Me, too! Let’s get take out.”

I turned on my phone and started to look for food. Chinese might be nice…

While I was scrolling, he asked a question.

“Um… just asking, how long are you planning on staying?”

“Hmm? Didn’t I say that I’m gonna spend the night?”

I heard a cough.

“...What?!”

“Kidding! I’ll be on my way after dinner.”

It wasn’t a lie. I’ve strained my eyes for too long staring at the laptop screen. How does he manage to look at his phone screen all the time?

Also, I’m pretty sure my writing was starting to be incomprehensible. I could barely squeeze out another idea.

“...Okay.”

His answer came late.

I asked instead, “Is chinese okay?”

“...Yeah.”

I pressed the order button, and at the same time, I turned off my laptop.

Sitting in silence while listening to the song of his game’s background music, I thought to myself. 

I was going to go out for the weekend with my friends, so I wouldn’t be able to visit him then. Should I buy more water bottles? Maybe I could order food to his apartment as well, make it look like a prank or something. 

Despite knowing the answer, I asked anyway.

“Are you going somewhere this weekend?”

“No, just here.”

Not even going to his parents house? Should I ask? What if he has an issue at home? I better stay quiet.

It must have been too silent for a bit that he asked back.

“You?”

“Yeah, I’m going out.”

“With your friends?”

“Yup! We haven’t decided where. Probably out of town.”

Would it be a good idea to invite him? My friends wouldn’t mind, I think. But I bet he’d turn it down anyway.

He didn’t ask any further.

We waited awkwardly, until…

Ding!

A notification from my phone. Since his apartment didn’t allow strangers without access to go up the floors, we had to go down. 

“The food’s here.”

I was about to stand up, but then the music stopped, and I saw him get up from the sofa.

“I’ll get it,” he said.

Without looking at me, he walked out the door and I could hear the echoes of his footsteps in the hallway fading away.

And I was left alone in his apartment. So, this is what it feels like…

The image of him sitting in my place right now popped up again. And this time, I wasn’t as disturbed as before. Maybe it’s an effect of putting myself in his shoes?

It didn’t take long before he came back with food in his hands.

“Yippie! Food. Food. Food!”

“Shut up.”

He sounded tired.

We opened up the bag and ate the chinese food. And for someone who said he was too lazy to get out, he was munching down on his food energetically. 

“By the way, you said you were going to work on the project on the weekends. Why are you going out with your friends?”

Oops.

“I’m bringing my laptop with me! I’ll be working on it, and I’ll be having fun at the same time. It’s called multitasking!”

He looked at me without an expression.

“Okay, then.”

After that, we continued to eat without any more conversation. We must have gotten comfortable in silence together today.

I packed up my things after finishing my food, and I made sure he put all the trash in the chinese food plastic bag. I was going to throw them out on my way. 

“See you Monday!”

“...Yeah, see you.”

He closed the door behind me as I walked towards the garbage room.

I was glad that he forgot about the water bottles I bought and put under the table…

…Or he might have noticed but realized that I had bought them for him all along.

Click here for the next part ^^

[password-door-lock]

“Surprise!” 

Unknown nearly jumps out of his skin. What are you doing yelling like that? Hasn’t he told you a hundred times by now to stay quiet while he’s working? But when he turns around to tell you as much, he stops in his tracks. “What do you think you’re doing?” becomes a much more pressing question. 

You’re walking at an awkward angle, propping the door open with one leg while you hop on the other and drag some long rectangle through the doorway with both hands. “I got you a present!” You announce. “Happy early birthday! Or… late birthday? I don’t know, man, you seem like a Gemini, so I’m gonna guess it’s close enough to your birthday that it’s not weird for me to give you a gift.”

Unknown is too busy being bothered by the fact that you’re bringing some unauthorized thing into the intelligence room to be bothered by the fact that you’re trying to guess when his birthday is. You’re not necessarily wrong, either… but he’ll worry about that later. Right now, he has to worry about whatever “gift” it is that you’re trying to give him. You’ve managed to get it inside, and you kick the door shut before tucking the rectangle under your arm and bringing it over to his desk. “What is it?”

You grin at him, flipping the item around so he’s confronted with his own reflection. “A full-length mirror! Tada!” You look proud of yourself.

“Why would you get me something like that?” Unknown demands, “And who said you were allowed to order things?” Truth be told, he has no idea how you even managed to procure such a thing. It’s not as if he lets you roam around Magenta unsupervised, and you certainly don’t have any way to access the internet without him looming over your shoulder. He does occasionally write shopping lists for you to give to the believer in charge of weekly grocery runs, but C3170 would know better than to just take your word for it if you asked for something that wasn’t on the list.

Your lips form an amusing o-shape before you respond. “Yeah, about that. I sort of… forged your handwriting? Okay, no need to reach for any weapons.” You hold up your hands, showing your palms, as if you think you can anticipate his next course of action. “I didn’t expect it to work either. I honestly thought the grocery guy would be like, ‘that’s not his writing’ and send me packing. But I figured, hey, it’s worth a shot! So I spent like, an hour copying the font from the real grocery list to make a fake one, and I brought it to the guy like normal, and he was like, ‘yeah, okay, this checks out; this seems like your boss wrote it; don’t worry, I won’t keep him waiting; for eternal paradise,’ so, here we are with a brand-new mirror!” 

“You forged my handwriting,” Unknown grumbles, “And then you manipulated a believer into spending the Savior’s money on… this.” 

“Yes.” You confirm, “When you put it like that it sounds a lot worse than it is, though. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to, like, get things around here?” 

“I made it that way on purpose.” Unknown rubs his temples, and his reflection in the mirror does the same. Who would have thought that having an assistant would be this much trouble? “Did you at least put the shit I actually needed on your made-up list?” If you didn’t, you’ll be spending the rest of the day sitting in the corner, staring at the wall, and thinking about your bad decisions. Unknown has half a mind to send you over there anyway, considering you had the nerve to forge his handwriting. Why would you risk so much on something so utterly stupid? 

“Of course,” you grin, “I know you can’t get along without your caffeine pills and candy bars. Anyway, please enjoy your full-length mirror.” 

Unknown scowls at his reflection, which scowls right back at him. As if he needs a mirror to tell him how annoyed he is. It was a mistake to leave you unsupervised, and one he won’t ever make again. “Why did you waste money on this? There’s already a mirror in the bathroom.” He should know. He uses it to check his eyeliner, his hair, and (though he’d never breathe a word about it to anyone) the careful placement of his jacket. 

“Man, please don’t take this the wrong way,” you cringe, “Because the top half of your look is great, and it’s really hard to do black skinny jeans wrong, so all things considered, the bottom half is also… mostly great. Um, however… the thing is… it’s just…” 

“Spit it out.” All this talking, and now you can’t even tell him whatever it is you wanted to say? Why bother digging yourself into this hole in the first place if you won’t do anything interesting now that you’re down there?

“I just thought you might benefit from being able to see your whole, entire outfit at one time.” You allow him a long pause to study himself in the mirror. What’s wrong with his outfit? “Shoes included,” you add eventually. 

Unknown glances down at his shoes. They look fine. They’re just shoes, and they serve their purpose well enough— he’s kicked out windows with them and never gotten a single splinter. They fit him, so he never gets blisters, and his feet don’t get cold from the unforgiving floors of the intelligence room. Isn’t that what shoes are supposed to be for? Then he redirects his attention to the mirror and… wow, his shoes really stand out. Now that you’ve pointed out that there’s something wrong with them, they’re all he can focus on. “It doesn’t match,” he realizes. And the untied laces don’t look as cool as he thought they did, but he won’t give you the satisfaction of hearing him admit it.

“No, it doesn’t match!” You sound much too enthusiastic about this conclusion, “It has never matched. They look great on their own, but just… with the outfit…” 

“Why didn’t you say something about this sooner?” Unknown demands. He can’t believe that this is even a conversation he has to have with you. He doesn’t like that you’ve been plotting in secret, lying to believers, and even impersonating him by way of forgery just to make a point about his boots. What an inconsequential little hill to die on. “How long have you been laughing at my shoes behind my back?” 

You’re bold enough to giggle at his words. “To be honest? Months? But I didn’t want to upset you, and for a while I thought it was, like, intentional, or maybe you didn’t have access to other shoes, and I didn’t want to be rude. But then you told me you were gonna tie a rope to something on the roof and climb down to break into an apartment and I was like, ‘okay, well, then he definitely knows how to tie his shoes, so why is he leaving them like that?’ And, you know, now that I’ve been seeing more of this place… I’ve been here a long time, and I’ve never seen one full-length mirror anywhere. Until today.” You place your hand over your heart in a pantomime of solemnity. 

“Mhm,” Unknown hums. He’s going to have to do something about your behavior before this treachery of yours becomes a regular thing. “You won’t get to see any more of this place after today.” 

“I’m grounded?” You demand. You seem to understand what he’s telling you, at least. “That is not fair! I helped you!” You’re starting to whine at him, like you couldn’t have possibly seen this coming when you were copying his handwriting and tricking a believer into buying some useless thing that’s only going to get thrown away. 

“I don’t care what my shoes look like.” It’s the truth. Unknown could not give less of a shit about his footwear outside of its practical purpose-- but you seem to care quite a bit, and he enjoys the knowledge that he can get under your skin like this. “You can stay in the intelligence room with me from now on. The believers can bring us food, since I can’t let you out of my sight again if I know you’re going to be off causing trouble every time I take my eyes off you.” 

“I’ve only caused trouble one time,” you protest, “And it was for a good cause.” 

“Set that thing down,” is Unknown’s only response. He doesn’t have time to try to reason with you, and since you’re his assistant, you should just be listening on your own, anyway. 

“Set that thing down,” you mock him, but comply with his instructions before he can even shoot you a warning look. You gently set the mirror on the floor, and as soon as it’s out of your hands, Unknown scoops you up, pulling you onto his lap. 

“Now, stay here. Don’t go sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong again or you’ll regret it, little assistant.” 

“All this coming from a guy with untied, mismatched shoes,” you grumble. 

Unknown ruffles your hair. What exactly is he going to do with you? 

[kingkatsuki]

wait pls talk more about kiryo and his relationship. i need to hear more

You probably meet on one of those games where you need to join a clan for dailies, and that’s the only reason you end up clicking and joining the first one you find.

The guys in there are shocked when they welcome you and find out you’re a girl, and Kiryu immediately notices the way they start to treat you differently, flirting with you and calling you pretty (even though your pfp is literally a random anime girl?)

He ends up standing up for you in the main group chat when they say some pretty nasty things— all because they’re jealous you’re not jumping all over them with their advances.

Ends up starting a private chat with you to check whether you’re okay.

You end up forming a friendship with him and he’s always someone you wake up and send a good morning message to— like he’s one of your close friends. You tell yourself you’re just doing it in passing as you log in to claim your dailies, but it feels like something more.

You both start talking and decide to find your own clan together? So you either dip together to find another one or you leave to make a new one yourselves.

Eventually he asks for your discord for game discussion, but really it’s because he’d find it so much easier to text back and forth using that then having to open the game every single time just to talk to you.

You both end up voice chatting one night, and you end up staying awake until 5am— despite the fact you have to get up at 7am. End up spending the rest of the day almost comatose, but it was worth it.

When you exchange selfies you can’t believe how hot he is— but you try to control yourself because you don’t want to ruin your friendship.

You end up FaceTiming or video chatting once you exchange the selfies. And a lot of the time you’ll both just be gaming or doing mundane things on call together but you just like being with each other?

You fall asleep on call together too— even though neither of you are dating.

And then one evening you end up watching a movie together on voice chat as Kiryu streams it, and somehow he ends up confessing that he sees you as more than a friend— and you’re relieved cause you feel the exact same.

Ends up introducing you to his friends when they catch him in a video call with you one day, their faces hovering over his shoulder to see who’s been taking so much of Kiryu’s time lately.

He makes it no secret that he’s got a girlfriend, has no issue with talking about you to anyone, and he will talk about you.

You send each other care packages. Whether it’s the snacks that are common in your countries, or clothing? Like Kiryu has sent you one of his cardigans that’s doused in his perfume so you can smell him, and you’ve sent him back a pair of panties because you have absolutely no shame. (Send him one of your cardigans too though cause he’ll 100% wear it)

He’s got your face as his Lock Screen AND his wallpaper. You definitely do the thing where you both do half a heart with your hands and he pastes the pictures together to form a whole heart.

You end up sending more risqué photos to each other too. Kiryu has an entire secret album on his phone of photos and videos you’ve sent him in pretty lingerie or making pretty sounds while you touch yourself for him. He’s lost count of the number of calls you’ve had e-sex, and you both just lay there after talking about how much you long to do it together someday.

With time differences, you have a terrible habit of sending him lewd photos when he’s trying to get ready for work, and he either has to snap one back in the toilets or you have to wait until later when it ends up being a bad time for you— but he just loves to tease you anyway.

If you ever argue it’s rough. But he’ll borrow friends phones to send you memes or stickers to try and get you to unblock him so you can talk again— he knows you’d unblock him eventually but he’s impatient!!!

He’s forever ordering things for you online. Whether it’s flowers, cute gifts or takeout. He loves receiving a text from you during the day to say you just got a package at the door🥺 and getting photos back of whatever it is.

Has no interest in any other girls, so there’s no point them even trying. Of course, he’s still ever the gentleman but he friendzones girls SO fast.

You have cute matching names and pfps on discord. You change them up quite often, but you’re always matching.

He’s got that scary guard dog privilege too, and has no shame telling a guy where to go if he thinks someone is flirting with you a little too much, or coming on to you.

Biggest hype man on all your socials too. Leaves the nicest comments on all your photos, watches all your stories, sends line after line about how perfect you are and how lucky he is. And he’s got no qualms telling guys to get the fuck off your post if they try to say you’re hot etc.

His friends are always sending you messages to try and organise a surprise trip for you guys to meet, or celebrations for your birthdays or anniversaries.

He’s absolutely offering to pay for your plane ticket to come and see him, and he can’t wait actually.

And when you finally do meet you’re having that moment as you literally run into his arms in the middle of an airport, dropping your bag on the floor as he doesn’t let you go.

[cru5h-cascades]

Splatoon Future: A Story Mode Concept

So a while back I had two ideas for future story campaign stories and there's this one that I (alongside others) really enjoy: the vigalante story. So for the past few days while working on some final plotpoint ideas for my OCs' Side Order story arc (speaking of Your Side of Order I might start working on the first chapter in a few days! might even release it on the 29th this month since Side Order will probably release a month from then), I've also been thinking about some concepts for the next story arc! So, this is what I've gotten so far...

So basically since Splatoon 3 is the end of the current story arc, we'll be moving away from the whole inklings v octolings conflict and shifting attention towards something else. But who could possibly be the next new big bad?

Easy. We make a long anticipated species of inkfish an actual thing in the game. WE INVOLVE THE CUTTLINGS IN THE NEXT ARC. I know, crazy but hear me out.

irl cuttlefish can hypnotize their prey with flashing colors and such, so having cuttlings as big bads wouldn't be so farfetched.

Plotwise, here's what I have in mind:

So the player opens up the game, right? Upon first glance, everything's alright. We got some cool new "idols" (heavy emphasis on the quotation marks; you'll see why in a bit), normal ass news report, ect.. BUT after the news, the idols give an emergency news report that finally doesn't have to do with the Great Zapfish: someone vanilized a statue celebrating the integration of octarians into inkling culture using a very specific symbol. The "idols" act suprised, and add that this is yet another case of vandilizm in a large strand of crimes involving defacing public property, specifically anything that has to do with inklings and octolings being together. And all these crimes have one thing in common: they all involve the same symbol being spray painted onto something. The news brodcast closes out and the player can move around the hub area. If they go to the statue that was vandilized (which is located in the middle of the hub area), they'll meet up with a few other NPCs (the characters you'll be accompanied by in the campaign) (as for who they could be I'll leave that to your imagination). One of them seems interested in the crime and wants to further explore the situation. The other NPCs agree and they ask you for your opinion (either way you start the story mode anyways). After selecting your answer & the NPCs talking a bit more, they all agree to meet up at another statue in the city to see if it'll get defaced.

Later at night, you meet up with the other NPCs and then a steakout is commenced. After waiting a while, a mysterious being shows up and is about to vandilize the statue. One of the NPCs wants to jump them and attempts to, only for the figure to somehow cause them to freeze before they could do anything. The figure runs away and the group chases after them. After a while, you're treated to the first boss of the game. Nothing too difficult, but it's challanging enough for a first boss fight. After beating the boss, it's revealed that the character is a being similar to the "idols" (i.e. not an inkling or an octoling). Before you can deal the final blow, the character causes everyone to freeze and then they super jump away. After that, one of the NPCs talks about wanting to see where the character is going, so you and the others follow the character into a strange underground area that leads to an underwater base (the story mode area, which can still be accessed through the statue in the hub). In each level, you and the NPCs duke it out with the cuttlings and more of their henchmen (which could probably include other inkfish enemies like vamplings, vampire squid inkfish), slowly figuring out what's going on with these peculiar inkfish.

(dunno what bosses the player could face so I'll leave this up to you guys for now)

Anyways, after duking it out with the cuttlings, the player will find out the story of the cuttlings. Basically they are another race of inkfish who, among other types of inkfish like vamplings (and maybe others if Nintendo wants to shake things up a bit), who were feared and ostrisized by the inklings and octolings for their strange abilities, and were forced into hiding in fear that ther species would be wiped out entirely. Many retreated into completely different hiding areas, with some hiding among other inklings and octolings in disquise and others just trying to stay away from other inkfish entirely, with one of the oldest civilizations of these inkfish making the underwater base of this story mode. These inkfish, unlike others who retreated to other parts of the world, hold a grudge against other inkfish who didn't go underwater with them (and of course against the inklings and octolings), and only now are the inkfish living in the base are planning to take over the surface by using their abilities to pin inklings and octolings against each other or just have them under their control so the cuttlings and other inkfish can have the life they want and to have them take revenge against their opressors, starting off by capturing their true current idols and replacing them with cuttlings posing as them.

In the end, the player and the NPCs save the idols and the player is faced with a choice: convince the cuttlings that things are different now and help them get along with other surface dwellers or have them stay in the base forever. After beating the campaign, the player will have the real idols in place of the fake ones (they can swap idols if they prefered one's music over another's, though). Also, the story is left wide open for exploring other types of inkfish and their cultures.

It's a sort of rough idea but hey it's a thought.

[winx-reimagined]

Is sparxshipping toxic?

I’m not sure what sparxed it but I just started to think about the, debatably, infamous ship between Bloom and Valtor. And while this is a strange post to suddenly come back with (hah, assuming I even stay active after this) I might as well ride the sudden jump in interest.

Also, take this as a revision to my past (cringey) opinion on the ship. Quite honestly, I need to revisit a lot of those older posts (should I call them editorials? analysis maybe? Idfk I’ll come up with a name for them later) Dear God, they are so bad and poorly thought out urghhh

Anyways...

To start us off, what is sparxshipping?

Sparxshipping is the romantic pairing between protagonist Bloom and villain Valtor (Baltor in some versions). I will not be referring to season 8, mostly cause I don’t care for it, and partly cause I honestly forgot what even happened 💀

We meet Valtor in season 3, where he’s trying to steal various forms of magic from the different kingdoms in the magic dimension. Throughout this season we learn that he was made, by using the Dragon Flame, by the three ancestral witches to destroy Domino. Obviously making him more to Bloom, than just another villain.

Why do people ship them?

Well, there’s the obvious. They fit the enemies to lover dynamic to a T. And because Valtor is basically a blank slate of a villain, like many of the villains in Winx, it’s easy to develop his character and story in a more sympathetic---and eventually, romantic---way. Speaking of which, it’s easy to assume that he’s never been shown to love, be affectionate, or really anything healthy or positive cause again, cartoon villain guy. And that, Bloom serves as an opportunity, not only for redemption, but to properly learn to show and give love.

They are very contrasting personalities, but have very similar mindsets---just used in different ways. Valtor is suave, calculated, and charming. Bloom is stubborn, headstrong, and optimistic. The both of them are overly dedicated, impatient, confident, and the lead in their groups.

Throughout the season, Valtor seems to have an interest in Bloom, to the point of sparing her continuously. Even his henchma’ams took notice (honestly when Icy said he was strangely obsessed with Bloom and then he just uno reversed that shit, really giving me Icy x Bloom X Valtor vibes ngl). He even offered for them to takeover together, to share the power he stole. And without context, yeah, you could see how that can be taken as romantic, to a degree. But you cannot forget that he’s a huge manipulator and, like making a deal with the devil, he will give you what you want for a price.

Why is it so toxic?

The first thing that comes to most people’s minds, is the age gap. And to be fair, I also used to thing there was a disgustingly large age gap between the two. They were really giving Edward & Bella vibes, if you know what I mean. But the truth is, they are about the same age. Honestly, I blame the art-style for making him look much older and Bloom the same as when she was 16.

Think about it, Valtor was made around the same time Bloom was born in order to destroy Domino. By definition they are the same or of a similar age. The thing about that though is, does that alleviate the power imbalance he could have over her?

There are various forms of power imbalances, the only ones I could think of that are applicable to these two is power, age, and experience. Age and experience are not the same thing, you don’t magically earn experience for being a certain age you aren’t literally leveling up lol.

For age, no, there is no power imbalance. As stated, they are practically the same age.

For experience, this is an interesting one. Since we really don’t know much about Valtor, we have no idea if he had to mentally develop the same way any born being would. It puts into question his experience. Cause while there are absolutely things he knows that Bloom does not, he’s also been “raised’ a certain way, therefore all he knows could be a very narrow mindset or form of knowledge. At the very least, he has the mental capacity and know how to manipulate people and take advantage of others. So, while it’s still debatable how much of a power imbalance this puts them at, he has the capability to control her and it really falls upon the writing, for how they deal with that.

Now power, I mean this mostly in terms of magic, but I’ll also try to touch on influence and physical means of power. Though they share the same source of power---which is part of what makes them shippable, their whole two sides of the same coin dynamic (which is arguably Icy and Bloom’s dynamic)---he abuses his power. But he means to horde knowledge to become more powerful and if he had succeeded, there would be nothing Bloom could do to stop him. I feel like the implications there are obvious. And to take it a different direction. Let’s say he does have all this power and Bloom inevitably caves and basks in it as well. There’s still an imbalance, because of potential entitlement & shaming Valtor might use to hold this gift over her head. Or simply that he fully controls her abilities and therefore a lot of her autonomy.

Now physically, he is a big dude capable of using his strength to force what he wants. Don’t get me wrong, just because you’re stronger than someone does not mean there’s an imbalance of power, just that, in that aspect, you do have power over someone and it comes down to morale. And given Valtor’s pitch poor morality, paired with his physical means, there is absolutely an imbalance in power. Albeit I don’t think he’s one to force his way physically, but only because it’s not as satisfying as tricking others--he’s like Naraku really.

Lastly, influence. This is definitely the least impactful. At least as he is in the series. His influence would only become an issue after taking over the world. He has all this control over everything and everyone, what is stopping him from doing that to Bloom or holding his status over her?

And probably the most important part. He kinda uhhhh, killed her parents. Yeah. Okay, technically he didn’t kill them. Just turned them to stone to forever be in between life and death, never truly being able to do either. Mhm. He also partook in the destruction of her home and, presumably, turning Daphne into a spirit.

In conclusion...

Now I don’t hate sparxshipping, not anymore at least. But as it stands in canon, yes, it’s pretty problematic. Though it’s not impossible to get around these issues, and any others I potentially missed (don’t blame me it’s been a while since I’ve watched). With some solid planning and writing, a dash of canon-divergence, and perhaps a touch of “fix-it” it is possible to make this ship not only romantic but also enjoyably healthy. On the flipside, there’s nothing wrong with writing about a toxic relationship, just be careful how you write it and what you may indirectly be implying through your writing.

Oh and if it’s an AU it’s basically fair game, an all you can eat buffet, a pile of gold, the jackpot, the crackpot, the...

[dangerous-advantage]

why is usagi yoimbo so fucking good? (an analysis.)

usagi yojimbo is one of the most interesting, well-told, intelligent, heartfelt stories i have ever read. it's stories are nuanced and likable, supported by characters and relationships you root for.

it's simple, balanced, and when things get serious, you feel it.

and if anyone had recommended it to me, i probably wouldn't have read it.

(spoilers for usagi yojimbo: volume two; jizo. fair warning: this will probably go long.)

i picked up uyv2 on a whim. i wasn't really planning on reading it, and if i did, i didn't think i would particularly like it.

but it was related to my current hyperfixation (they didn't have 'the last ronin' in stock, which was what i was looking for), and it was a special day, so i thought, "fuck it, i'll buy this."

a couple days later, i finished it and immediately needed more. yada yada, tale as old as time.

but what exactly made it so good? a lot of people will get into media and be hooked by the very first installment. usagi yojimbo, for me, required a little bit of faith.

i started with uyv2: issue one, aka 'shades of green.' if you're a tmnt fan, this is a great jumping off point, because it lures you in with tmnt lore all while putting intrigue in your mind about what these other guys are doing, i guess.

there are callbacks to past comics that might interest you by creating a greater sense of lore and history. you'll find yourself eventually wandering back and maybe reading the next installment, just because.

this is very good, because the next installment following the shades of green arc (at least, in the usagi yojimbo saga: book one') are the "side stories," which will stick in your mind until your thoughts are overtaken by the funny rabbit guy, and you give in.

i love shades of green as much as the next guy, but damn, those side stories fuck. even if you didn't give a shit about the turtles and only read the stories (and maybe the origin tale), it is my belief that you would know basically everything you need to know.

jizo is what originally "hooked" me. in the og comics, it was a side story for the first part of the shades of green arc, which was ingenious, seeing as it's fucking amazing.

in my humble opinion, jizo is an example of sakai at his best. it's eight pages long with three panels per page, each following the same composition. its so simple, and yet, throughout my read-through of volume two, i found myself returning to it again and again.

it starts off with an image of a road, with a series of travelers passing by. a woman toting a small stone statue brings it to the edge of the road and starts on an iconic sakai infodump, with might disinterest some, but fully delighted my autistic mind!

(here she is, by the way.)

she explains (by talking to the statute) that said statue is a representation of 'jizo-sama,' "guardian of the souls of lost children. her son was murdered five days ago on this very road, and the ones responsible, a party of bandits, have not yet been caught.

her hope is that by praying to the statue, nobody else will suffer the same fate.

she also explains some lore-- that the souls of lost children are "doomed to pile stones in the dry river bed of souls." by offering pebbles at the statue's base, she hopes to ease her sons' burden.

she then leaves, noting a chill in the air, and promises to bring back a coat for the statue the following day, in order to keep it warm.

now, by all accounts, this is an example of bad storytelling. just info-dumping is uninteresting to the audience, and clunky. well, here we are reminded that actually, if your story is worth telling, nobody gives a shit if you commit "writing sins" (see 'lord of the rings' for more examples of this. yes, uy is good enough to be compared to lotr.)

but anyway, the day progresses. there are lots of fun details in these scenes --

--like this guy ^, who we meet/meet another person akin to later on in volume two (music from heaven). we also see a couple of people make offerings on their way past, which is nice (:

night falls, and with it comes-- holy shit-- its the funny rabbit guy again!

he's alone, just passing by. he doesn't even seem to notice the statue on the side of the road.

we then get some of my all-time favorite uy panels, and a perfectly-executed scene showcasing some of usagi's core beliefs and character.

so the bandits (yes, those bandits) attack. and usagi five-v-one's them. the guards come, clean things up, etc etc. more usagi characterization shines through. and usagi leaves.

all the while, jizo-sama observes.

but wait. if you're anything like me, you might notice a small detail between in two frames.

that's right-- the statue of jizo smiles. which could be creepy in any other context, but its only for a single panel, so you might assume it was just a quirk of the artwork on that one page.

but, no.

in the morning, the woman comes back.while wrapping the statute in a coat, she says, "huh? your expression has changed-- you look more at peace-- but that's impossible! isn't it?"

she ultimately decides not to worry about it, but does mention that it'll probably cause more people to be willing to give offerings as well. which leaves us with our final panel.

so. what exactly does jizo accomplish?

well, a lot of things. it sets up worldbuilding for the more 'mystical' side of uy, introduces us to sakai's ability to make you feel like you've been punched in the gut in a good way, and characterizes usagi using only eight of the twenty-four panels that make up this story. in which, he doesn't say a word.

but beyond that. why does this work so well?

for me, a part of it is the inversion of the idea of "fate." let me explain-- in a lot of stories like this, there's this underlying trope of the "chosen one" or that things will end up a certain way. while these stories aren't bad, i generally find myself uninterested in the idea of beings beyond our comprehension pulling the strings for characters that are "special."

these characters are chosen ones. they're supposed to know everything that will go down, because they're important. whether or not fate actually plays a part, you get this idea that they were always supposed to be 'chosen,' in some way or another.

uy doesn't do that. while there is some "meddling" implied, it's not because usagi is the specialest boy ever. he's just some guy making his way through japan while trying not to starve. just... figuring himself out.

in thise story, the only people who know the full extent of the narrative are ourselves and the statue of jizo. the woman shows no indication that she's heard of the bandits' capture, and for usagi, this is just another night.

it's meaningful because we get to see all these parts of the story come together, while knowing we are the only ones this is meant for. this isn't a grand story or some epic of old. it's just a small, intimate moment of retribution.

the gods-- or, in this case, jizo-sama-- doesn't care about heroism outside of this moment. it's left vague whether or not the statue or any being it represents put this moment into fruition. if anything, it could just be a coincidence, and the statue is smiling at in gratitude.

regardless, it feels so much more meaningful than if it had been done any other way. usagi is just a character traversing these lands, weaving in and out of stories, many he will never know the full extent of. and that feels real. genuine.

i do think that this changes a bit, later on in the comics, but this beginning sense-- that usagi is just travelling through a greater world, pulled this way and that for no particular reason (unless otherwise noted) is very refreshing for a series like this.

jizo does a lot of other stuff, too-- like that core characterization i mentioned above-- but this post is long enough. i wanted to get more into other aspects of why uy is so good, but there's just so much, and honestly, you should read it yourself if you haven't already to find out what. (at the very least, read jizo-- it's short, but very, very good.)

i might do more of these for the rest of uyv2 and how it hooked me, but for now, i this this works well enough to begin answering the question of why this series is so good.

(okay, i caved-- the core characterization is his unwillingness to fight unless it's necessary. now, go read jizo!)

[lunawings]

Animaniacs in Concert, 2/17/24 in Bristol, CT

Or, the story of how I ran into Rob Paulsen and immediately threw up.

Not on him, thankfully.

Where to begin? From the beginning, I guess.

I talk a lot about Japanese voice actors on this blog and I have almost no thoughts about American anime dub voice actors (no offense, I just don't know their work). However, if you asked me my favorite American cartoon voice actor, it's Rob Paulsen. I knew his voice before I even knew he existed, and if you ask me, he's one of the most recognizable male voice actors in Saturday morning cartoons.

He's probably most known as being Yakko on Animaniacs, and "half the Ninja Turtles" as he puts it. ("Maybe if I live to 102 I can voice all of them!") I also personally really liked him in The Mask cartoon, I think it's some of his best work. (Even though he was doing Jim Carey, he kind of wasn't at the same time. He made it his own.) But even beyond his leading roles, he just seems to pop up all sorts of places, and it always makes my day when I recognize him as additional voices.

While Japanese voice actors are often young and excessively beautiful people you're supposed to swoon over, 80s/90s American cartoon voice actors aren't... quite... the same. And yet. I sorta do, in a weird way. I mean I've known Rob Paulsen's voice for as long as my brain has been making memories and that's a pretty huge impact on a person. A few years back, I stumbled upon a few videos of him on YouTube attending cons performing Yakko's World and such, and I just loved his personality and energy so much. So, I added seeing him perform someday to my mental list of goals to accomplish if I ever returned to the US.

Fast forward again to the 2020s, the Animaniacs revival comes out on Hulu (I don't care what anyone says I freakin loved it) and I hear he's touring again with Animaniacs in Concert. I looked up the dates and none of them were remotely near me. As I checked back one day, mourning the possible missed opportunity and debating how far I might go, a new show popped up in Bristol, CT. How random, I thought. I checked if it was doable for me, and it was! It wasn't feasible as a day trip, but still doable. And once I saw there was one FRONT ROW SEAT LEFT, the deal was sealed as I quickly bought the ticket and reserved a room at the only hotel I could find in the area, the Bristol Double Tree.

Fast forward to yesterday. I arrived in Bristol just after noon following an uber and FOUR different buses. I'd woken up way too early, I was hungry and tired, and not feeling too great. I decided food would be my first plan of action, and since I didn't quite understand how to order room service (the menu wasn't loading on my phone anyway) and there wasn't anything within walking distance, I decided to just head downstairs and eat at the hotel restaurant/bar.

As I was waiting for my impossible burger and fries, I decided to take off the Yakko's World hoodie I'd been wearing.

I bought it specifically to wear to the show, and I'd already spilled a little coffee on it this morning and didn't want to risk having to wash it again. So I tucked it behind me in the booth.

Shortly after that, another group walked in and sat at the table next to me. An older guy and some ladies. I wasn't paying much attention to them as I thought they were maybe a part of the wedding party I heard was at the hotel. My food came and I focused on that.

But then someone else walked in and joined them. Someone I very much DID recognize. "Oh there you are!" "Hi, I'm Rob!"

The next moment is kind of a blur so I'm not exactly sure whether I jumped a little or if I did the dramatic eyes widen slow turn, but I definitely had some kind of a visible reaction as I looked over to the table. It was then that I locked eyes with who at that moment I first realized was Maurice Lamarche, voice of Brain (from Pinky and the Brain) and many MANY Futurama characters (more than I realized as I learned later). He was the older man I mentioned earlier, and had been sitting there the entire time. And at that moment I thought perhaps he knew everything. (Both the fact that I recognized the new person who had just walked in, and the fact that I hadn't recognized Maurice himself until now.)

So I'm pretty sure I have at least mild prosopagnosia (face blindness) so it is hard for me to recognize people right away.

But there was something I could never fail to recognize, and that was the voice of Rob Paulsen, who was the person who had just walked into the room and joined the table with Maurice.

I'm not sure how they knew the women they were dining with, but they were all catching up, asking them if they were going to the show, etc. I listened a bit as Rob happily talked to them about the impact of the show and its fans. Such as how devoted fans would actually fly in to see them and how the average age of the audience was about 40 (hah ha... not yet but I'm getting there). He even mentioned Tress MacNeille at one point! Maurice was right in my view, but Rob was at an angle where I couldn't see him without turning my head but oh lord it was definitely him.

I had no idea what to do at this point. Do I say something? Do I not? Would it be terrible to just say hi and that I'm looking forward to the show??

I've been to a lot of events with voice actors in the past, especially in Japan, but I still just... cannot handle meeting famous people that I admire. Actually seeing them up close is intense enough, but actually TALKING to them? I don't know how anyone can do it.

I'm reminded of Amari in Idol Land PriPara, that episode where she meets Hibiki...

Yeah, basically me. For the people who visualize in their head while they are reading something, just replace whatever you imagine I look like with Amari and this story will fit very well.

All while this is all racing through my mind, I'm still shoveling french fries into my mouth while trying (and probably failing) to stay calm and act normal (even though I'm pretty sure Maurice is onto me) and I soon realize I've got a couple fries stuck in my throat (as often happens when I'm eating without paying attention, as I'm a very fast eater). I exaggerated a little in my previous post when I said I was choking, but it was hard to swallow and I realized I'd have to sneak off to the bathroom to deal with it without causing any more of a scene. I basically threw my credit card on the table and ran, though (which was dumb in hindsight, but I didn't want anyone to think I was dine-dashing).

In the end, after I came back, I decided to just quietly pay the bill and leave without saying anything, scrunching and hiding my Yakko hoodie the best I could. I didn't want to interrupt them during their private time, and for that reason I didn't try to take any photos or videos either. So I have no proof that this happened but it very much did.

And it made sense, I realized later. I already knew that the Double Tree in Bristol was literally the only hotel in the area, where else would they be!!?

After leaving the table I was so worked up I basically walked straight out of the hotel because I didn't know what else to do and headed to the Carosel Museum of New England where I killed at least two whole hours sitting on a bench looking at intricately carved 100+ year old wooden animals while nursing my exhaustion and caffeine cravings. (The museum isn't that big, I just literally did not know what else to do with myself.)

But I learned that most carousel horses are only decorated on the side that faces the customers. And since they were all hand-carved back then, the opposite side would often be carved by a less experienced carver in training or something. ISN'T THAT NEAT?

I thought that was neat.

Anyway.

Eventually I downed an energy drink I bought from a convenience store as I went on my way to the venue of the show.

I was still super early since I ran out of the hotel super early but there was already a crowd gathered outside. At first I didn't know this was the reason people had gathered, but the first 40 people to line up were eligible to sign up for a "meet-and-greet" with everyone after the show. And when I reached the front of the line, it was still open.

"Sure?" I said, not really fully understanding what I was signing up for. And so I headed inside.

The show opened with Yakko's Universe (SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG) and of course closed with Yakko's World as the finale. What came in between was quite random. Despite not being an actual cast member, the real star of the show was composer Randy Rogel. Rob of course voiced Yakko and his other characters, and Randy voiced... almost everyone else haha. Just using his own voice most of the time, but still. He sang as Dot a lot.

And it seemed like he picked the songs they played not necessarily by what songs were popular, but by what songs he and Rob had stories to talk about. For example, they did a bunch of songs from the failed show Histeria when Rob literally broke into tears (he was acting) while talking about how Randy had to actually, physically, go to a library to research the topics he was writing about back in those days. Randy also played an alternate version of the song LA DOT that had sat untouched in a folder for decades.

Rob's voice doesn't sound quite the same as it used to, as anyone who has seen the 2020 Animaniacs series would know, but he can still do it all! And considering he survived throat cancer, and came back to not only work again but sing live!? He sounds amazing!

Maurice Lamarche was also of course a part of the show, and although he only "sang" one song as Brain, his interactions in character as Brain with Rob as Pinky were probably the highlight of the whole show. (They did a whole "Who's on First" sketch talking about what countries to conquer, with Pinky misunderstanding "Hungary", "Turkey" and "Chili".)

Maurice also did a showcase of his voice, including so many other Animaniacs and Futurama characters I had no idea were him, not to mention frikkin Toucan Sam and the narrator of Lexus commercials.

The only thing that disappointed me a little about the show, was they didn't really do anything from the 2020 series, but I guess Randy wasn't as involved with the music in that. So, oh well.

I didn't take many photos/videos during the show, since I wasn't fully sure of the etiquette (still kinda have my Japan brain for these sort of things) and since I was in the front row I wanted to give them my full attention. I think there are plenty of videos online anyway, since at least one segment was one I'd already seen before.

So, after the show ended, people began to line up for the meet-and-greet, and it was then that I fully understood what I had gotten myself into.

Each of us would get about a minute to talk with them individually, get their signature, and get a picture if we wanted. I was really kicking myself for not bringing anything to sign! I really had no idea it would actually be an option! (In the days leading up to the show I had been looking at Rob's website where I noticed he normally charges $60 for an autograph, so I didn't think he would do it for free.)

But more importantly, I realized I was going to have to actually face them. TALK TO THEM. The exact thing I had run away from earlier in the day.

And again, I considered just running away. But I had taken a spot on that list. A spot that could have gone to someone else and it was too late to give away now. So, I told myself, I had to see this through. No matter what.

As the line inched closer I panicked over whether they would recognize me from the hotel or not as I rehearsed in my head over and over again all the things I could say. I was honestly juggling between two or three entire scripts by the time it was finally my turn and when realized... after all that...

I did not need to say anything.

Rob saw my hoodie ("It's me!") so he knew I was there for him, and he knew I was nervous. So he did all the talking. (After all, that is his job. Literally!) He took my hand and complimented my hoodie, my hair, and everything. He said so many nice things about me (I even got a "Hellooooo nurse!") and even broke the ice by introducing me to "his friend the Brain" so I got to shake hands with Maurice as well. (I STILL THINK HE KNEW. So I felt a little awkward then but other than that) it was just such a wonderful interaction. Rob was so nice and kind and I got the impression he really, really cares about his fans.

So I missed out on the autograph, but I did get a picture, and I left the entire experience feeling so warm and fuzzy and oddly complete. Childhood dream achieved.

It took me another four busses and an uber to get home today (I left around 8am, walked into my door after 4...) but it was all very worth it.

I'm mostly at peace with how things turned out, but if I ever get the chance to see them again, at a Comicon or whatever, I'll be sure to bring a Futurama DVD boxset for Maurice to sign and maybe try to acquire an old Animanics or Mask the Animated Series VHS for Rob!

You know, it's pretty ridiculous how easy it is to meet and get signatures from famous voice actors in this country. That almost never happens in Japan. I mean, I'm planning to go to an actual Love Live concert in Japan next month, and here I am oddly depressed I can't fly out to Seattle to see Chiemi and Coco at Sakura-con instead because I might get to actually meet MEET them there haha.

Even though it would be another disaster if I actually did.

Hahah...