#anyways it’s rly late so sry if this is kinda all over the place

[rain-is-cool]

hc that q!Tina cries lava cuz she’s a demon and also cuz i think it would look cool

[resvlve]

❛ john boyega, 26, cismale, he/him ❜ was that LUCIUS HARTLEY-LOPEZ i just saw hurrying across the quad? you’d think they would know what happens when a GRAD STUDENT is late to class. then again, the MUSICAL THEATRE major has been known to be pretty OVERCRITICAL. maybe being so FORGIVING helps keep them out of trouble. i heard that they are HETEROSEXUAL and love DADDY KINK + SPANKING. //

HELLO! i’m lennie, ur local gay idiot, and i’m super excited to be here w my man, luci, and my other fave, esther (her into will be up shortly- hopefully, esther and i are both hot messes); can’t wait to get to know y’all and your muses !! plz love us, luci, esther AND i need attention thnk u 

basics  full name: lucius michael hartley-lopez  birthday: march 3, 1993 (pisces) hometown: new york, ny height: 6'0″  positive traits: supportive, passionate, forgiving, loving  negative traits: overcritical, weak-willed, fearful, defensive  moral alignment: lawful good 

background  - lucius was born to parents that weren’t equipped to raise him and was thrown into the system headfirst - when he was four, though, he was adopted bye ava hartley and luz lopez and that was history - they adopted two little girls after him and boy LOVES his little sisters so much and 100% tries to play the protective big brother role even tho he’s a complete Softie - has loved musicals and theatre ever since he was little and was made fun of for it in junior high and they started calling him ‘luci’ - ya boy embraced it though and started calling himself that and all his friends and family picked it up too- RECLAIMING that shit- so he goes by luci  - in high school, was definitely your typical theatre kid etc. (as a former theatre kid… sry)  - now, he finished his undergrad and is getting a master of fine arts bc he’s a big time theatre nerd 

personality  - the Softest - like, not a bad bone in his body - anxiety-ridden - like, always a step away from a panic attack (same bro) - the only place he’s never nervous? onstage- love that for him - would literally do anything for anyone and is the best friend you could ever have - NOT a fighter, but would 100% beat someone up for the people he loves  - ok so he loves love but is also terrified of messing up any potential relationship bc of his anxiety and, so, can get rly weirdly distant - BUT he wants to love someone like plz someone love him- he deserves it - sharing musicals he loves with people is his love language  - sexually: is kinda shy at first but if you call him daddy... will go crazy; don’t be fooled by his soft ass personality, he isn’t afraid to be dominant in bed once he gets over his nerves (tho he loves a powerful lady too), will probably slow down to ask if she’s ok on occasion- his Brand, but he’s also nasty.mp3 SO... plus, an ass man thus spanking as a kink ANYWAY    possible connections  - best friend(s)- he is SUCH a good friend, hella supportive, super loyal- let him love u - hookups/fwb- sure, yes - exes- listen… ex plots FUEL me - first heartbreak- i headcanon that he had a SUPER serious relationship, the first real time he was In Love and she broke his heart //: sad  - classmates- self-explanatory  - bad influence- he’s a Good Boy (nasty as fuck in bed BUT i digress), someone make him let loose and do stupid shit  - crush- requited or not, he crushes QUITE easily and then gets scared and nervous and freaks out - literally anything idk idk, angst, soft shit- WHATEVER, i’m here for it all 

uhhhh n e way, hit that like or come find me in the dms or contact me via pony express- whatever works best for you !! let us love you down xoxo 

[andnowilovecats]

2022/07/12

i think you can tell. i’m scared. i’m rly scared. i feel like college is going to be another nightmare of mine. i feel like my mom is going to put me in where ever that has the highest ranking. i feel like i don’t get my college life after i lost my childhood. i don’t think things are ever going to be in the way i want them to be in.

also i should stop reading love stories. those shit makes me wanna confess to ppl.

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hi. it’s 6:33pm. i’m still at stanford. i’m wondering. if this is the life i am speaking. i am still wondering. to finish a day of whatever simulation and then sit at the bench waiting for the bus. at the same time listening to songs. the sunlight is rly beautiful. stanford is a rly beautiful campus. idk. it think at this moment i am happy. just for this moment. my life is miserable and i am probably going to be yelled at cause i will be too late home. but i like it rn. ig.

i kinda like how science work. cause doing that ya dun need to keep asking yourself stuff. ya dun need to keep feeling stuff. it’s all about code and math. it’s better. (however i still hate coding and fixing computer.) i like the feeling when ya dun need to keep thinking about stuff that’s with no answer. but it’s just, so … step by step. so calm, (except when ya needa fix code, god i hate that thing.) and then when you are done ya get to prize yourself with a sort walk in the sun and between the trees listening to songs you like. tbh is life is kinda … casual. and i like it.

also i have this weird theory of dating a poet so we can pass poems to each other. talking about same sunset in different places. and they can dump me with some well written poem. and i can be sad while reading a bunch of poetries. that’s kinda cool lol.

6:48pm. i like what’s happening now. the bus is going through trees in stanford. this place is beautiful. and spotify just change to the song i love the most. things are going so good. i love this place. if she is my (0,0,0) then this is the (perfect,perfect,perfect) of my life. when x does not limited to perfect. cause then it will never becomes perfect. x is equal to perfect.

6:52pm. a kid is yelling. if my moms here she’s gonna be so mad. but i think he’s cute. i mean what’s more for then a baby right lol.

6:54pm. i’m still on the bus. the tran is at eleven. will i catch the train? dk.

6:55pm. did i mention that i leave all the group chats with my “friends”. idk why am i doing so. i’m just kinda tired of their thing. i am not interest with those topics. i think i just need time for myself. how ever i think they are moving away without me. kinda sad. but i think i dun wanna be with them rn.

6:57pm. oh i’m at the train station. gotta go. brb!

7:00pm. hi i’m back. sry i needa walk through the underpass. i’m kinda scared. palo auto isn’t the place with best safety so. i dun think i should text while walking under.

7:03pm. so back to the isolation thing. yeah i mostly separated myself from society. dun think my friend gets that though. at least sylvia dun. it’s pretty sad. l dun k if 01 understands. i think she will. idk she just … is okay with everything. i think she’s kinda aled? spurt of knows everything but never talks. but then sometimes if ya ask ( or force) in the right way. ya might be suppose with how much she knows. unlike me. i knows a lot of gossips i just dun bother put the puzzles together. she don’t, she just, somehow knows everything. idk. is she just too smart? anyways. she seems to not care and support whatever choice ppl make. a good friend but if she keep on not asking. ppl like me might start questioning if she cares or not.

7:09pm. train is here hang on.

7:10pm. hi. aww it’s my fav song again!

7:11pm. i’m on the train. why doesn’t i get hot girls pour her coffee over me on the train. i deserve hot girls :( instead i’m drinking coffee myself. v sad. why isn’t there hot-not-straight girls come and sit beside me. (probably bc i’m sitting at a single seat? oh did i mention caltrain has two levels!) i deserve hot girls :( not reading books 01 recommended anymore. ITS UNTRUE!

7:12pm. i like how the trees pass away and move backwards. (god there sure is a lot trees here in california.)

7:13pm. just saw the world palo auto at the train station. i’m sad. suddenly think about the life that i’ll never have. (cause uk … stanford … )

7:16pm. i wonder how the life of an american high school student will be like. … nvm i won’t even survive high school.

7:17pm. god why did this world like out going ppl. i hate talking and socializing is that a bad thing. i sad.

7:19pm. i hate life i wanna die. yes this is true i did think about this much shit in like 20 min. life is hard isn’t it. now i just generally wanna die. what’s happening. :(

7:20pm. i … am pretty sure i shouldn’t say this. but [text deleted].

7:21pm. San Carlos. beautiful city. been here with my mom once. … i have this place.

7:22pm. wanna be an artist so i get less sad. or at least i get to visualize my feelings. (hey i’m doing this rn. cool.)

7:23pm. so many graffito on the walls beside rail road. those are kinda cool. beautiful night not be the word. but it’s good being their. my mom said it’s bad and make the city looks worse. … why am i thinking about this she’s miles away from me … :(

7:25pm. no hot girls spotted. come on i’m leaving in 5 minute. 01 is lying. FAKE STORIES.

7:26pm. yes i’m looking for hot girls on the train all the time. what? judge me? humph

7:27pm. the train is at station. bye.

8:21pm. i missed train. i hate it here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi. probably i’ve been felt too good today. it seems my life got even more miserable then before, and days before. i am not feeling good. actually it’s all falling apart in my mind. i can’t put things, thoughts together. this is bad. ig. i am not feeling strongly. i just felt ... apart. does that even means anything? idk. the only thing i can tell is that i dun belong here. this is bad. here is bad. do not like this. very sad.

also read too much english. something is wrong with my chinese. i can’t get the word i want just by instinct. like how i can do before. like for me one even have at least three different ways to describe. but now i can’t even think about one. well, if i am not counting the words that are not literature, but just random word to write that might make sense but doesn’t work that good.

what am i talking about. idk. i think i am having anxiety attack rn.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:34pm. i’m in bed. listening to songs. this singer is super gentle. i’m gonna cry. i love him.

[irvscibles-blog]

SO ?? i am very late to this party and what do i have to show for it ? this shitshow below the read more …. before i let y’all deal with that , i’ll distract you w me for a lil bit !! im dav, gmt tz and he/him pronouns & i couldn’t even tell you were hawaii is on the map nevermind maui ?? my geography skills suck and i aint even sorry bc im a bad bitch n that how it be sometimes ! but my if y’all like a bad bitch who cries over vines @ 3am and stans pearl liason and ben de la creme , then i’m ur kinda bad bitch ! so if you get through this monstrosity below and still wanna plot , like it and my ass will be thrown into your IMs ! 

*. ☼ wait, how have you never heard of ATLAS MASON? he has only lived in maui for, like, eight years now! plus they look so much like MATTHEW DADDARIO. the twenty seven year old is known for being pretty candid & debonair, although they can be a little casuistic & irascible. someone told me they’re the CONNARD of their group – oh, wait, here they come now! [ cismale & he/him ] 

i wanna begin by saying that pls dont expect so much from this kid bc he cant handle high expectations… he kinda just … sucks ???

his parents were and remain to be absolute assholes that he consider to be his bane of existence like they rly didn’t give him it easy growing up and it wasn’t like the tough love ?? it was just tough shit … he was an only child to parents who didn’t know what to do at their young age and just let him grow up … v bad maternal deprivation which didn’t support his growth AT ALL !! 

they lived in santa barbara, cali in a one-bedroom apartment where he practically spent his childhood around alcohol and strangers … it wasnt … healthy ?? LUCKILY , he was saved by neighbors and social services who got him into the foster care system ! 

growing up home - to - home after being in a real fucked up one didn’t settle well with little atlas and he was just caused nightmares for everyone and thing !

for a kid to be so angry all the time did not benefit anyone , especially himself ! this anger was mostly taken out physically on people and these people had been the ones that attempted to make connections with him ! he was foreign to the idea of being cared for as it hadn’t been taught from birth … it sucked for him !

for him to build a relationship , it’s hard and they rarely ever form to ever break and he normally assumes thats a good thing because he knows that the more that he keeps to himself , the better … 

for him not being a sociable soul led to him spending his time physically through music and gym … that’s how his life kind of ended up ? it was a cycle for him to get by without making conversation … sure he spoke but it was only when he had something to say of importance …

he kinda just keeps everyone at this restricted distance without letting them get too close to him, but even if he does let them in ?  he just lowers some boundaries and allows everything else to remain secluded

deep down there somewhere , he’s just meant for good but refuses to express it …. he has no life purpose and just kind of exists ? he’d probably crack a smile around that one person but they’d be so lucky … it’d be one for the books ! 

he moved to maui at the age of nineteen after spending a whole year waiting for his passport and several years scraping together cash for a one-way ticket there ! it had seemed like the place where all your worries were non-existent and you were just kinda … free ? he enjoyed that idea and kind of went out there with no plan !

he didn’t get far in maui without a job and he was illegally livin for a few months before he’d got enough for a stable amount of rent and such ! he lives near the coast and really became friends with the view ! 

now ? he kinda still does the same shit , still quiet as fuck , still got no good morals , still a dirtbag , does illegal shit for tips , threatens visually , sighs a LOT … he needs company but will refuse if you offer

he also Gay .. as fuck ... too gay 2 function ... sry ladies not sry ...

wanted connections of his !

roommate (0/1): this person is the only reason he can afford his place .. he doesn’t talk to them nor does he want to … they know their limits and thats that !

love interest (0/1): hope u like angst ! that’s all this relationship will be until they finally get to the point of figuring out they like one another ! he’s hard to love , pls !

associates (0/?): people he’ll say he knows to get himself out of trouble and allows the same concept to work vise versa , they just use one another for their own benefit … it just be like that 

a place to call home (0/1): he does have a HEART ! this person just has a special place in it ? mayb they gave him a sofa to crash on when he moved to maui ? mayb he drinks with them ? they could be bros , even atlas would admit that ! he just needs one (1) person to rely on !

ANYWAYS ! i suck n don’t rly know what this silent bitch wants ? so if u got ideas , let me know !

[ksstherain-blog]

detention date

 pairing: reader x kyungsoo

prompt: highschool!au

a/n: inspired by @niminii honestly i cannot believe u got that hella long detention that one time lmao!! anyways i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible but excuse any slip ups if i forgot to change pronouns :( feedback is always appreciated!! it’s 6/27- i didnt rly know how to end this im just finishing it after i started it months ago and i wanted to post it so the ending is so ??? sry sry

“He’s staring at you again,” your friend teased, her words floating past her lips in a hushed, sing-song tone. Warmth rose to your cheeks in an instant, your eyes struggling to remain fixed on your teacher at the front of the room. It took every ounce of self-control in your body to resist the urge to shift your gaze an inch to meet his eyes.

Whispers and laughter began to exchange between three boys across the room, behind Kyungsoo, the boy who was supposedly looking your way. 

“Dude, Kyungsoo, there’s no way you haven’t been caught. Y/N’s not stupid!” Sehun hissed. His statement was followed by a loud laugh as he saw your gaze shift, following the sound of your name in their conversation.

A smirk danced on your lips, shaking your head and continuing your notes.

At least he’s trying to be subtle.

The shrill ring of the bell resonated in every classroom and in the vacant hallways, indicating the end of class.

Being in no rush, you took your time, placing your possessions back into your bag gently. Your friend tapped your shoulder before she left, glancing in Kyungsoo’s direction and shooting you a wink. “Save the poor boy some trouble, just talk to him once. I’m sure he’s a sweet guy, just a little shy, looking for a little love...”

“Shut up!” you squealed, sending her off with a playful slap on the arm as she waved and vanished behind the doorframe.

Once all your belongings were back in your bag, you thanked your teacher and began to leave. A shy voice called your name, halting your steps as you spun around, a curious smile on your face as you responded, “Hm?”

Kyungsoo stood at his desk, his belongings still sprawled out on his desk. His hands were stiffly placed into a somewhat natural pose- one resting at his side, the other, bashfully running through his short hair. His friends nudged his side, causing his face to quickly contort in pain from the small jab and rub his rib. 

“Kyungsoo,” one of his friends, Chanyeol, prodded, hoping to finally get his friend to at least say one word to you before leaving.

“Oh, right! Bye, Y/N!” the short boy quickly blurted, a rosy hue erupting on his cheeks as his gaze lowered. His hands worked to shove his notebooks into his backpack as he silently prayed that Sehun, Chanyeol, and Jongin wouldn’t make too much fun of him for what just happened. 

A soft giggle bubbled past your lips as you grinned, “See you tomorrow, Kyungsoo.”

“Where’s the lover?” Sehun whispered as he slid his slender body into the metal chair, glancing around the room for you. He had slept in and took his time with getting ready, seeing how he was already late. It was not an unusual sight to see Sehun arrive to class late; however, it was unusual to see you late, let alone, absent.

“Mr. Oh, I may be facing the board, but my ears aren’t facing anywhere and can hear exceptionally well. It’s nice of you to join us 40 minutes after we’ve begun, and it would be even better if you could join me in detention after school for half an hour.”

The entire class stifled their laughter as Sehun muttered out a profanity, slumping into his chair. 

“That’s your eighth one,” Jongin pressed, “in two weeks.” 

“Glad you can count, Jongin,” Sehun snapped as he pulled down the bill of his cap, “but is Y/N seriously not here? I was looking forward to making jokes...”

Minutes seemed to pass and as the minute hand of the analog clock signaled the beginning of another hour, a riot of footsteps echoed through the halls before the classroom door slammed open. All eyes in the room shifted towards the door, your classmates and friends finding your outfit of flip-flops, sweatpants and a jacket, to be amusing. 

“Hi, sorry, I slept in and I didn’t even realize-”

“Y/N! Glad you can join us today. Did you get a nice bit of extra sleep?”

“I did,” you mumbled, the heat in your cheeks making the room feel uncomfortably hot. You slowly walked to your seat and attempted to shrink before your teacher’s voice called out to you for a second time. 

“Well, since you got extra sleep, I take it that you won’t be too tired today?”

“I guess not..?” 

“That’s perfect! Because I have a lot of work for you to do after school, for an hour, in detention.”

Mortified, you let out a groan and rested your head on your desk.

Sleeping in, detention? You just need one good thing to come out of today.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, the group of four boys plotted a plan.

“Just get detention, Kyungsoo. It’s not even that bad. Well, I mean, it’s not bad as long as it’s not an hour long.” Chanyeol suggested, his last sentence sending two boys into a frenzy of laughter, and one into a train of deep thought.

“How do I get detention? Class is almost over..” Kyungsoo wondered aloud, his plump lips quirking as he thought.

“Just be obnoxious,” Jongin stated, “like this,”

Before Kyungsoo could even ask him what he meant, Jongin raised his voice. 

“Kyungsoo! You’re so funny, thanks for showing me this video! Can you link me, bro? I can’t believe the teacher hasn’t caught you yet...”

You looked up at the group of boys and laughed, their childish antics brightening your mood a bit. They were always troublemakers in your class, and today, they seemed to be stirring up mischief once again.

“Jongin, would you like to serve detention with your friend after school?”

The tan boy’s lips curved into a proud smile, his head eagerly nodding in approval of the idea. “Yes, I’d love to! Can Chanyeol and Kyungsoo get detention with us too?”

Your teacher grumbled under his breath and rolled his eyes, “Sure, whatever, just keep quiet and pay attention. I don’t want to hear from you the rest of class.”

Detention began and you sat uncomfortably in your chair, your eyes darting around the room. Your detention ‘buddies’ had yet to arrive, and you were secretly praying they would show up quickly. Saying detention is boring is an understatement, it’s beyond tiring and a waste time.

“Hi, Y/N,” a small voice greeted from the doorway. You raised your head and smiled, responding to Kyungsoo with a similar greeting.

“What are you doing here? Did you actually get detention because of Jongin?” you asked, feeling pity for the poor boy. He did nothing but got dragged into a punishment for no reason.

“No, actually- I mean, I kinda- I’m just, I came to see...”

“See what?”

“See..if..you..were...here...”

Your lips curved into an “O” shape, your head tilting to the side in confusion.

“Why?”

The flustered boy scuffed at the floor with his shoes, “I wanted to, um, maybe talk or something. You know, because this is detention and it gets boring, so I just wanted to keep you company and talk to the guys. And talk to you, of course, yeah. I just wanted to see if you were here...”

He looked up from the floor and he felt his heart warm at the sight of you bashfully grinning, a soft dash of pink decorating your cheeks. 

“You came to detention because you wanted to talk to me? Like a detention date?” you joked, feeling flattered nonetheless that a cute boy like Kyungsoo liked you enough to stay an hour in detention with you.

“Yeah,” he mumbled in response. Embarrassed would be the perfect word to describe how he was feeling, but bearing through it meant that he could possibly spend time with you, he was okay with it.

“Well, what are you waiting for,” you questioned, smiling as you pulled out the chair next to you. “Sit down, Kyungsoo. Detention’s about to start.”

[multiply014]

I’m sorry I took so long answering the post you tagged me in, @hcibara!!!

I don’t even know how to copy the post with formatting, I mean is there an easy way to do so because I literally just copied the text and added the formatting??? =)) okay sorry HAHA

I put a short fic at the end because... we... friends... :') For you, @hcibara, because you're a blessing!

Fandom (Pairing): DCMK (CoAi) Title: Morning Summary (Word Count): He sneaks visits in the early morning... (305) Links: Entry on AO3 and FF

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.

friends i’m gonna tag:

…I don’t have friends????????????? I’ll tag you back @hcibara LOL sry for ppl kind enough to read this pls answer this and be my friend???? No? Yes???

I choose: dead fandoms. No, not really, just kidding… 1/3 kidding.

Detective Conan (obvsly, I do nothing but post about this)

Yakitate!! Japan

Eyeshield 21

The first character you loved:

Haibara Ai/Miyano Shiho (because how can you not??? That was a rhetorical q btw, no need to answer guys pls this bb deserves only love)

Azuma Kazuma (or is it Kazuma Azuma lord ppl would think I don’t have a fandom besides dc)

Hiruma Youichi (because senpai is cool ya-ha! Okay sry)

The character you never expected to love so much:

Agasa-hakase (at first, he’s meh, but but but how he cares for queen Ai-kun is perf)

Kanmuri Shigeru (I liked him already when he was introduced but no no no not to this extent maybe I just have a weakness for genius)

Kobayakawa Sena (I usually don’t like spineless main chara but but but senaaaaaa)

The character you relate to most:

Haibara Ai (current height to actual age ratio lol jk but she’s full of contradictions i love her)

Kawachi Kyousuke (srsly I react to anything)

Kobayakawa Sena (because I’m awkward as hell)

The character you’d slap:

Kudo Shinichi (b o i why you always lying)

Azusagawa Yukino (G U RL NO also if I can include Mizuno here also????)

Kongou Agon (u so petty bro)

Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference): I’m guessing the first one is my ult?

Haibara Ai, Miyano Shiho, Sherry—wait what you mean I have to include two more???? Lol—Agasa Hiroshi, Kuroba Kaito (I wish him and the queen interact in canon; honorable mentions: canon ran is a gem a true angel, conan on the other hand boy u consider my bb’s feelings first before I put u in top 3, k?)

Kanmuri Shigeru, Kazuma Azuma, their baby idk maybe it’s possible with bread jk errrrr Kinoshita Kageto lelelel

Hiruma Youichi, Seijuurou Shin, Kobayakawa Sena

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:

Shinichi Kudo/Edogawa Conan (I still like him, though not as much…)

Matsushiro Ken (his chara was kinda put on the back-burner in the mid-late chaps, sadly…)

Taki Suzuna (because it was fine until she occupied the late panels which could have been for best girl Anezaki Mamori huhuhu)

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

Kuroba Kaito (I’m not rly fond of magicians but huhu this precious precious kid)

Coo (HAHAHA sorry but i rly didn’t like the bird at first but well birds are pretty and ahem Hatoful Boyfriend lel)

Raimon Tarou (huhu, bb acts/is stupid but has times of depth as well????? ????????? Also Juumonji Kazuki and Yukimitsu Manabu but huhu monta wins by just a little bit huhuhu)

3 OTPs: Again, I’m guessing the first one’s the true otp lol totp? ottp? Sorry, don’t mind me, this is why I don’t have friends?

CoAi, ShinShi, ConAi (HAHAHA okay srsly anyone or anything with sass queen Haibara Ai/Miyano Shiho, I ship as in you know coai can actually stand for coffee x ai lel)

Kanmuri Shigeru x Kazuma Azuma, Kanmuri Shigeru x Kuroyanagi Ryou

None AND THAT’S A MIRACLE so I’ll just put some of my OTP’s in other dead fandoms, yes? i can’t do that????? But this is my post so I’ll do it anyway??????? Imonoyama Nokoru x Takamura Suoh, SuzaLulu, Yuuri Shibuya x Wolfram von Bielefield (HUHUHUHUHUHU)

It’s fun answering q’s and reading answers too so if you managed to read until here, i’d love to see your answers also! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Morning

A girl is sitting at the couch, alone in the dark. Strawberry blonde locks fall across her face, making it difficult to see her expression. Has she fallen asleep on the couch again? The quiet intruder fetches a blanket and carefully drapes it on the girl. She doesn’t stir, and he wears an expression of exasperation, though a fond smile makes it way on his face and stays.

For a while, he stands motionless, just staring at her. But the break of dawn is near, and he must go—he visited this early only to check on her after all, however much he tries to convince himself otherwise. But he needs to do one last thing, for himself too, later, he thinks, but he almost laughs at how absurd he’s acting, sneaking into his friend’s house just to make coffee for a grumpy old lady. He smirks—she’d hate it if I told her—then flushes—no, this is NOT for her—as he shuffles around the kitchen and fusses over the coffeemaker.

He leaves as silently as he had come.

They meet moments later in the same house. As she brings the cup of coffee to her face, she takes in its aroma with her eyes closed, and she smiles a full second. A scene he first witnessed three days ago when he stayed over and prepared coffee. His undoing.

The rim reaches her lips and she drinks. As the cup is placed back on the saucer, the usually frigid air around her during mornings has considerably warmed, which, for a few days now, is seemingly becoming her new norm.

Today, though, she raises her brow at him, asking, “Problem?”

Countless. How about you, do you only ever smile at pets and... coffee???

He brings his own cup down, answering, “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

[lilbongwater]

reading my lesbian experience with loneliness made me realize how much i rly hate feeling like i have to  impress ppl or be a certainn way for ppl which is why i hate bieng on social media lately too i guess..

I feel like ppls image of me is extremely different to what im actualy like and i wanna keep up that image ppl have of me u kno but.. Its so tiring u kno?? Like sry  im not rly someome that can always b happy sunny bouncy bubbly dream girl u kno..

I feel lke i have to keep taht image up for everyone.. My parents, teachers, freidsn, even my bf (aahh mikey if u end up readin this… >m< !!!!!!!!!!!!) but like fuck guys im SAD and scared and hurt and confused all the time..

Im sad and im tired and u know what i honestly just wanna go into interior BC and live in soltude and eventually get eaten by bears.. Like iuhghf… my internet self n real sefl r so.. Differnt n idek why… like i DO like hello kitty n pink n sparkly things n shit but rly  honestly deep down more than anything i love being outside and camping and swimming and bugs and and andnandanda lOTS lots lots of thing s that contradict what i am now.. Like im syaing all this and i have!! Glittery pink acrylic nails!! Like!! Hhdhgfd!!

God my minds goign  all over the place sry

Idk man im just .. im a multi faceted person… im trying to b comfortable with that.. I feel lik theres pressure to b one kind of person all the time or else ur a fake but thats not!!! True!!!! Thats not truw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honestly i kinda blame instagram n shit for tht kinda thinking tho… ppls instagram is so curated t b this… perfect life.. Idk how to put it into words uggghh…  also i wish i could criticize social media and its negative effects without feelinn like a Millienial Traitor but like…. Can we admt tht social media is like??? Knida shitty? Like its a great tool for rasing awareness but DAMN does it fuck with ur confiddence n self image n image of others… n thinking abt how rly young impressionable kids r growing up on this is almost   scary/?? The internet was an almost entirely different place 5 yrs ago  u kno??? Idk..

An d on the topic of change… i rly cannot keep up with everything . theres so mcuh pressure to do things FAST  n i just.. I cant do that. Evryones rushing to get things done as fast as possible, get new products as fast as possible… and i feel ike i get left behind. Ive always been kinda a late bloomer i thik but.. Aahhhhhhh

  Anyways i kinda wish i could write poetry but usually ppl mock ppl tht are trying to express themselves in honest yet artistic ways.. I jus wanna b genuine without beng mocked. I think thats what i mean after all this rambling

  Yeah i just wanna be more genuine

   I think i might remake again