#anyways im putting this on a schedule so when this pops up i will be eating breakfast (probably)

[ofmermaidstories]

i’ve gotten back into playing my switch with a lethal combo of stardew valley/animal crossing: new horizons again and i must admit… i’m digging my nails into my palms to stop myself from starting a stardew valley AU lmao. and like! in the past i’ve threatened to do a new horizons AU, but that’s specifically because I like the whimsy of the setup—moving to a new location that is it’s own little world, independent of any outside influence, where all your relationships come from your neighbours. a tiny little idealistic land for you and you alone, that’s filled with strange and wonderful things (the ghoul in the sewers, for stardew. the ghost that wanders around your island at night, for new horizons. there’s falling stars and mermaid shows and sly little salesmen who sell stolen art and things you can build for yourself, or trade for with pearls or batwings or seashells). i just!!! isn’t that the appeal of both of these games? that you don’t have to sit at a computer (ironically) day after day, or scrub out the walk-in freezer that hasn’t malfunctioned and is now defrosting, or serve assholes that last used their manners when their mothers still wiped their mouths after eating. instead you do things like… shake trees for fruit. grow flowers. grow vegetables. chop trees for wood, dig up stones. you get some cows for milk. you craft things and sell them. you catch bugs. you go down into the mines where you’re startled by walking skeletons or little slimes. sometimes you still deal with assholes, i guess—but they grow to love you. you banish the Big Bad Supermarket from town. You buy weird one-off items from the only store-keepers on the island. there are night markets and open-air concerts and celebrations of a new community centre, a new bridge.

i’ve been merging the sdv/ac:nh examples because at the heart of it, what i think i want out of a AU like this is the escapism of being uprooted, and settling down somewhere enclosed, that has everything—and everyone—you need. sunshine and rain and lightning and the ocean, snow, green things and smooth wood underneath your hands and the tiny threat of something darker (a witch’s hut where you can turn children into doves, abandoned mines full of monsters, mossy skeletons abandoned amid patches of flowers)—but ultimately, the promise of magic. just beyond the farm’s fences. washing up on the shore in the blue-green dawn. hidden in a wizard’s tower on the outskirts of town. flitting about and waiting for the only person who can see it: you, you, you.

[saleeba]

fool ; jude bellingham

summary ♡ betting on the phenomenon of unrequited feelings, you and jude have never dared to make the first move with the other until a reunion forces new questions to be answered.

pairing ♡ jude bellingham x fem!reader

content ♡ 18+, smut, friends to lovers, alcohol consumption, cursing, kissing, both jude & reader are pining idiots, fingering, p in v sex, marking, missionary, unprotected sex (jude pulls out but still pls practise safe sex!!)

a/n ♡ she's baaaack :D but first☝🏽alexa play fool by nct 127 !!!! the lyric "you’re a goddess but i’m a fool, what should i do?" was written for this fic in particular i just know it was :] anyway hehe this fic is based off this request so tysmm to anon for sending such an exciting prompt !! i hope yous enjoy 🫶🏽💗 WAIT P.S this isn’t proofread bc i lowkey am not rocking with it so i didn’t wanna put myself thru having to read it again & again … im sorry for any mistakes :’)

you had just gotten off work to a stream of relentless texts from your best friends’ groupchat — phone pinging off the rails whilst you were on shift, muffled buzzes from your bag making you wonder what on earth was worth blowing up in that whatsapp group on a random friday afternoon.

on the train back home, you tap open the green app, anticipating yourself easily spending the entire journey catching up on the three hundred-plus texts from your closest mates. you decide to start right from the beginning of the influx, thumb scrolling nonstop and eyes blurring from the rapid movement until they focus back on the screen where you stop, finally having reached the destination of the first text that set it all off. 

it was from none other than jude bellingham, and you were nearly embarrassed by the way your face instantly lit up upon reading his message. the groupchat’s golden boy had popped up after weeks of minimal contact, asking if he could take everyone for a night out tomorrow to make up for it, stating that he finally has some small gaps of free time between hectic pre-season schedules to allow him to do so.

it honestly warmed your heart that the first thing he wants away from football is to see you all. you’d been a band of good friends since the first year of secondary school, contact not necessarily strained as you all had a lot of love for each other but rather unspokenly reduced after leaving school two years ago and falling into busy university or career ventures.

instead of scrolling through to read and react to the plethora of follow-up texts after his, you ignore them and jump straight to typing your reply to his invitation, casting aside that nagging voice asking you: doesn’t that seem too desperate?

no, right? i’m just accepting his invitation, getting straight to the point, the convo ended half an hour ago anyway. you’re arguing with yourself now, feeling the need to give unnecessary excuses to nonexistent accusations. if you were to be honest with yourself, you were always self-conscious of the way you behaved around jude, even now debating on whether to add your signature heart emoji or if it’d come across as you trying too hard given your feelings for him; albeit them being feelings that no one knows about, not even him. you made sure for it to be that way.

with a mental note to get over yourself, you send an affirmative ‘i’m up for it!’, signature heart included, and quickly shut off your phone. heart beating so rapidly, you scolded yourself for getting so worked up over a mere reply and for definitely not getting over yourself. god knows how you’re going to handle seeing him in person. 

a sudden double buzz from your device does nothing to calm you down, instead dampening your hands with sweat when you grab it and see a pair of messages from him.

jude 🌟: heyy i’m so glad you can make it tomorrow :)

jude 🌟: can’t wait to see you!! ❤❤

he had messaged you separately for some reason and he had included two hearts… the overthinking starts for you again, without even beginning to think about what to reply this time, and you question why he couldn’t have just replied to you in the groupchat or why he couldn’t have just left the end of the messages with a ‘x’ like he usually does or why he would even say what he said in the last message. mind frantic and unable to clear itself, you thank yourself for having your read receipts turned off so you can have your mini meltdown without worrying about jude knowing you’d seen his messages multiple minutes ago. god, you were down so bad. 

you force yourself to open the messages app and send the most casual reply you can type.

you: can’t wait to see you too! ❤

you try to keep it short, sweet and nonchalant even if your fingers are itching to type more – more about how much you had missed him, more about what he was planning to wear tomorrow night so that maybe you could match your own outfit with him, more about your true, unfiltered feelings for him. it’s pathetic really; you hadn’t seen him in two years and the first thing you wanted to do was throw yourself at him, spilling all the secrets you’d been holding close for so many years. you leave it at that, put your phone on do not disturb mode and head on home, waiting for the long hours of friday evening to pass and saturday night to arrive.

***

and so saturday night rolls around and you just about finish touching up your makeup and smoothing out your dark blue dress before the doorbell rings, and you’re whisked away to the club by a couple of your girlfriends. 

as soon as you step your high heels into the building, you’re met with the sight of flowing booze and the noise of noughties r&b beats bouncing around the brightly lit walls. dragged by the hands of your friends, you find yourself standing next to a booth at the back of the club, the rest of the group now welcoming you latecomers with a loud cheer.

“finally, girls. you took your time!” one of your male friends remarks, ushering you all to sit down.

“oh god, what have we missed?” you beam, trying to scan the group amongst the strobing lights to catch a glimpse of the person you were really there for. 

“nah, you’re just in time because… first round’s on mister madrid!”

the callout breaks your friend group into a raucous holler as your gaze fixes onto the six foot-one footballer who stands up with an amused grin and a sigh of feigned defeat. your heart quickens and your smile turns into a state of near disbelief over how good jude looks right now – graphic white t-shirt hugging his biceps in all the right places and hanging over a pair of smart-casual black trousers.

“yeah, yeah, anything for my groupies,” he winks at no one in particular but your brain almost convinces you that he was looking at you while doing it. you send a shy smile his way just in case but what he says next has your mouth running dry. “help us out, will ya, y/n?”

you hesitate for a second too long for your liking, stumbling over your words while your friends peer at you. “uh�� uh-huh, yeah, of course.” you answer as quick as you can, standing up on your feet slowly as to not trip over your now-shaking legs and send yourself flying into jude, and to avoid embarrassing yourself more than you think you already have.

he responds with a grateful smile and you follow him to the bar where he places an order for a round of drinks and some shots to be delivered to the group by the two of you. there’s an odd unfamiliarity to the silence between you both and you realise that you aren’t normally this quiet around jude, and neither is he around you; you would always joke that he’d be eligible to talk for england if he wasn’t already playing football for them. he’d retort with a comment about how his ears could almost fall off with the amount of chatting you do, and you’d dryly reply with a ‘well, they’re too big for your head anyway. look at the size of them!’ the pair of you were always as thick as thieves in the eyes of everyone else. which is why you didn’t expect it to be like this, especially after two years of not seeing each other – there was so much you wanted to catch up on from his world and so much you wanted to share from yours. you decidedly gain some courage and take the initiative to spark some conversation, get something going at least.

“soo, how have you been, then?” you’re both facing the bar, your head barely tilting in jude’s direction to indicate that yes, it is him that you’re talking to and not some random like he assumes you are with the way you’re positioned away from him, eyes just about turning to steal a glance of his figure but not to hold eye contact. “how’s la vida española?”

jude finds amusement in your sudden flaunt of the spanish language, a smile breaking out on his face, unseen to you since he’s still facing the same direction that you are, preoccupying his eyes with the myriad of bottles on the shelves while his mind searches for an apt reply.

“yeah, it’s been great, i think i wanna stay there forever,” jude laughs, his fingers tapping on the black surface of the bar. you can’t help the selfish feeling of your heart dropping at his confession. “i miss you, though, y’know… a lot.” 

this one confession forces your whole body to turn itself towards him, eyes now chasing after his to seek some form of sincerity, to see if he was just messing about or if he really meant what he just said. he shifts his head to face you now, a bashful look painted onto his features. the expectant silence says it all really; of course i mean it. 

you gulp and decide to break the quietness with a sarcastic, jesting “ugh…”, jude’s face dropping at what he thinks is genuine disgust from you. you realise your attempt to denounce the awkwardness has backfired.

“oh my god, you dickhead, i’m joking,” how is it that mere moments ago you were shaking at the sheer real-life presence of him but now you’d transformed into having this confident playfulness? and all of it without a drop of alcohol in your system as well – you’re quietly proud of yourself. “i missed you too, jude… a lot.” you coyly repeat his words. 

upon your turn of the confession, the bartender sets down your drink orders and the two of you wordlessly carry the trays over to where your friends are situated, the silence way more comfortable now that you’re both basking in assurance, unbeknown to the other that your hearts were racing at a hundred miles per hour.

***

not even two hours and an innumerable amount of shots later, you’re all a drunken mess; definitely not a surprise to a single one of you. what is a surprise is the way you’re strewn across jude, right leg wrapped around his left, head on his chest, swirling and sipping from what’s clearly an empty glass to any sober, sane person. you grumble and mutter a complaint about the lack of liquor in the booth, taking it upon yourself to head to the bar and order another round for everyone.

“i’ll come with you,” jude announces over the pounding of the music, standing up so quickly that his next five steps are staggered and he has to cling onto your arm to steady himself. “i’m fine, i’m okay.” he assures nobody that asked.

the two of you stumble your way into the path of the bar, determined to drink until the sun comes up and forget every strand of stress until the hangovers come knocking. jude’s soft grip on your arm has you being led in the opposite direction all of a sudden, though. 

“uhm, where are we going?” you question, head still turned to where the bar is located, about to ask him if he was so hammered he couldn’t walk in a simple straight line to get to where you’d planned to go. “jude?”

he’s silent, save for humming his way to his desired destination, and you question if he even knows where he’s leading you. before you make the choice of going along with him or leaving his clearly confused self to go cop your next cocktail, you find yourself in the disabled toilets, pushed up against the sink with the door not even shut properly, gasping at how rough jude is handling your body compared to his soft touches from before, and how close his face is to yours, warm breath fanning the skin of your lips. you weren’t strictly against it all but how the hell have you ended up like this? The alcohol and the questions come at you fast, dizzying your brain but you can’t help but feel so keenly anticipative.

“i’m sorry, i just…” he pulls away from you, eyes fluttering closed so he can re-evaluate his actions, exhaling through his nose as if he was letting go of all doubts before continuing. “am i okay to do this?” he places his hands on your waist, pushing himself back into your space, his full lips more or less about to take yours. you have to refrain from letting the effects of alcohol take over your tongue and uttering back with a breathy ‘you can do whatever you want to me’.

instead, you answer with an earnest, eager nod, inviting his lips to finally do that one thing you had been dreaming of for so long, to kiss yours so silly that they’re left with the imprint of him. and jude does just that.

his mouth takes in yours so determinedly, shyness and hesitation now long-dissolved feelings for you both as your hands find home around the back of his neck, pushing his head further onto you, feeling the need to taste him more and more until you’re both consumed by each other. 

it’s a messy makeout, noses bumping and teeth clashing, but it’s oh so hot, the way he gasps into your mouth from breathlessness and pleasure, running and gripping his large hands over the material adorning your waist and hips as the need to rip it off you nearly overtakes him. to you, he’s so utterly intoxicating that a gallon of alcohol would pale in comparison to how dizzy his skin on yours makes you feel. 

you release a moan at the meagre thought of jude all over your body, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue over yours, filthy noises of wetness and carnality from the both of you reaching high pitch as jude somehow simultaneously pushes you against the sink and pulls you against his chest, his manhandling of you getting you even more hot and bothered before you’re both interrupted by the hub of people passing by and huddling right outside the bathroom, their self-occupied shouts and cheers dragging you out of the bubble that the two of you had wrapped yourselves in, almost sobering you up on the spot.

you push jude out of your way, gentle but abrupt, and give him a look of apologetic regret. “i-i’m sorry,” you say, jitterily walking past him and exiting the room without a second glance or word, heading straight to the booth where your friends are hollering and hurraying, occupied with shot-drinking contests. 

your girlfriends offer to go home with you when you lie and tell them you’re not feeling very well, but you decline them, instead telling them to have fun on your behalf and letting them know that you’ll try to text them once you get home safely. you can tell they’re confused by your shaken state and the absence of jude but you grab your bag and make your exit before the interrogation can even begin to brew.

you manage to grab a taxi back home, surprised by how competent you are despite the alcohol in your bloodstream and confusion in your brain. on the way there, you can’t stop the bouncing of your knee nor the racing of your psyche, asking yourself how and why whatever went down with jude went down like that. you curse at yourself for being so impulsive in starting and finishing the whole ordeal with him in the way that you did – you don’t know if it’s the empty, depressive drunk thoughts or just clarity from the whole jude thing that makes you feel like there’s no coming back from this at all. you feel like crawling into your bed and never coming out from it ever again. 

the taxi driver has to call for your attention multiple times until you reach earth again and pay him the journey’s fee. you go skulking all the way up to your front door, only letting out a breath that you feel like you’ve been holding since the beginning of the night once the door shuts behind you.

the rest of the night is quiet and orderly for you, telling yourself to not invite any more chaos into your brain and to simply drink some water and to go to sleep. waking up tomorrow morning is going to be painful in more ways than one.

***

you spend the rest of the weekend nursing a ferocious hangover and a frazzled heart, only contacting your friends to tell them that you got home fine and to joke that you probably need a century or two for this hangover to be gone. you thank the high heavens that they don't bring up the topic of you and jude 

you try not to think too much about jude, you really do, but sunday night has a couple of taps landing you on the instagram app and you learn that he’s already back in spain, pictures of him in training sliding across your phone screen on his story along with selfies with his teammates. usually, you tap that small red heart at the bottom and hope that he sees it amongst his millions and millions of notifications, a tiny ritual of yours that now has you feeling so pathetic that you don’t dare to do it anymore.

running a hand over your weary face, you set your phone down and opt to nap the night away, finding comfort in the non-intrusion from your friends and the no contact from jude, hoping to keep yourself busy and distracted with whatever the work week brings.

a ring from the doorbell rips through your flat just as you’re organising your pillows, forcing you to stop what you’re doing and ponder who could be at the door on a sunday while the clock ticks some minutes past one o’clock. you don’t recollect ordering any food nor are you expecting a delivery, especially not this late. 

trudging your way to the front door, you open it to find jude bellingham standing there and you feel an instant pang of regret, wishing you had peeked through the window to see who it could be, wishing you had pretended to not be in, wishing the ground would open up right now and swallow you whole  – anything to escape the confrontation that you’re now having to face. your face heats up with embarrassment and nerves but you manage to rupture the silence before your mouth can turn dry. 

“j-jude, hi,” you try and keep your greeting as polite and cordial as you can, even when all you really want to do is to chase him off your doorstep. “what are you doing here?”

your query has jude visibly gulping, hands fiddling with each other as he attempts to hold eye contact with you, his vision a bit blurry from exhaustion. “y/n… sorry, can i come in?”

you oblige, holding the door open wide before you guide him to the living room and invite him to sit down on the plushness of your sofa, settling yourself on the opposite end of it. you silently prompt him to say what he came here to say with a nod of your head. 

“uhm, i’m sorry for turning up unannounced, and so late…” ever the courteous. “i had to sneak away from the lads and catch the last flight to here so it was all a bit down to the wire.” he lets out a small, uneasy laugh.

you cut off his rambling with a curt “what do you want, jude?” you don’t mean for it to sound so rude but you still hold the attitude of wanting to get this over and done with, already feeling annoyance at yourself for even letting him into your home. 

“right, yeah, i actually wanted to talk about what happened on saturday,” he goes back to fiddling with this thumbs, eyebrows furrowed but he avoids looking at you this time. not that you can blame him because your own vision shifts to anywhere but his direction. “i’m so sorry for making you uncomfortable a-and please tell me if this is inappropriate, but i haven’t stopped thinking about last night, i haven't stopped thinking about you, i-i’m sorry, i know this is all so silly and you probably don’t even feel the same bu-”

you stop him right there, this time with good reason as you can’t bear holding back your real emotions, not when he’s practically given you the green light to spill the contents of your heart.

“no, jude, i didn’t feel uncomfortable at all,” you assure him, gaze now on the footballer in front of you and you almost can’t believe the words leaving your mouth right now. “i wanted it to happen, i’m glad it happened, you know, i think i’ve had dreams about it happening,” you try and offset any tension with a timid chuckle before turning quite pensive. “i really like you, jude, i have for a long time… god, sorry, this is so embarrassing.” you return to making light of the situation you’ve put yourself in, the timidness sinking back in as quick as the relief lifts you up. 

jude moves closer to your now-cowering body, knees touching as your heartbeat surges with worry and self-consciousness all wrapped up into a tight, miserable ball. he puts his sweat-dampened hands into yours and squeezes in silent assurance before raising them up to his lips and laying a chaste kiss on the heated skin.

he can’t help but break out into a sweet smile, eyes threatening to crinkle at the edges. your face is still sketched with tension and now confusion has joined the mix.

“i can’t tell you how long i’ve waited to hear that from you, how much i needed to hear it,” your eyes meet his, widening in surprise a little. “i’m a fool for not telling you sooner… i like you, y/n, i really like you.” he repeats your own words back at you, leaning in with a smattering of amusement dancing in his vision. 

“can i kiss you?” the question leaves your lips faster than you can even process it in your brain.

jude wastes no time in replying with a firm pressing of his mouth on yours, deepening it within seconds, the need to cement his feelings for you being told through the way he cradles your head in his hand, leaning you back onto the arm of the sofa to further intensify the kiss. your lips move along with his, the soft weight of his body pressed against yours making you whine into his mouth in ecstasy.

he lifts off of you with a puckering of his swollen lips, the both of you taking the chance to draw in some air and attempt to regulate your breathing pattern.

“please take me to the bedroom,” you beg, breathless from the sheer sight of his dark eyes and pretty pout. there’s no fight nor denial from jude as he picks you up and prompts you to wrap your legs around his waist, quickening his pace once you point in the direction of your room.

he lays you down on the bed so gently, lips latching onto yours once again before they travel down your jaw and over the warm skin of your neck. the light touch of his fluttering eyelashes married with the pressure of his soft lips has your head spinning, hands tentatively laid on top of your sheets since you don’t trust yourself to not grab his head and bring it back to your lips. his fingers tinker with the waistband of your pyjama trousers, stretching it off your skin before he asks permission to peel them down your legs. 

once they’re cast away in some corner of your bedroom, jude divides your legs by the underside of your knees, tucking himself into the now available space between them, turning onto his side and resting on his left forearm. he leaves a small kiss over your covered cunt and you try your best to not just clamp his head in between your thighs and smother him with your growing wetness here and now. 

“need to get you ready, baby,” the sudden mention of the petname has you throbbing, squirming even more when he traces a line from your clit down to where there’s a small damp spot forming on the dark material of your underwear.

“jude, please,” you whine out, lifting your hips in a desperate bid to get the boy to strip your lower half completely. 

he shushes you in his own charming way, making sure to comply with your demand by getting up onto his knees and discarding your soaked panties in a matter of seconds, the cold air generated by his large hands whipping them off you hits your exposed pussy, making you hiss through gritted teeth.

jude returns to the gap between your spread legs, sitting back but still on his knees, his higher position causing you to shift onto resting your body weight on the palms of your hands in order to peer at his actions – which start with him re-tracing that same teasing line from your aching clit to your hole with his thumb, the feeling now so intense on your unclothed skin. he hums in what sounds to be satisfaction when you throw your head back in pleasure, taking it in his favour to slip his index finger into the tightness of your pussy. 

you release a guttural groan at the feeling of finally having some part of him inside you; you of course don’t want this to be the only part but you’re still so very grateful, so fucking grateful he’s now rubbing at your clit in delicious rounds, thumb tracing circle after circle while his fingers form a pair, pistoning in and out of you so easily due to the way your cunt douses itself with every move of jude’s. 

“fuck, baby,” jude moans at the sight of his soaked digits every time they barely pull out of that pretty pussy, his thumb torturing your sensitive bud increasingly so, the cries and whimpers spilling from your lips an incentive for him. “feel so good and tight around my fingers, can’t imagine how you’ll feel around my dick.” 

his words have you absolutely reeling, writhing against his hand to try and chase that moment of release. 

“please, jude, i’m so close,” you’re warning and demanding at the same time, almost begging him to not stop or even think about moving his fingers out of you. “god, please, i need it,” 

jude suddenly retracts both of his hands, leaving you bare and empty. “no way, baby, need to have you cumming on my cock or not cumming at all,” he comments with a shake of his head, denying you the opportunity of leaking your cum over his hand. upon seeing your bewildered face, he makes up for it by putting on a show of licking your juices clean off his fingers, the digits popped inside his mouth and dragged right back out with a low moan, him praising the way you taste. 

“move up the bed for me, angel,” he orders, watching you while he stands up and unclothes himself as quick as he can. you scoot backwards, legs still spread open like they’ve been locked in that position, before pulling your oversized t-shirt off of you, chest void of a restricting bra . “good girl,” he praises, crawling up to hover his body over your laying one, cock in hand as your legs come to wrap around him. “are you still okay with this? we can stop at any point, okay?”

the sincerity of his voice has you melting. some would remark that the bar is in hell for you but the truth is that you hadn’t been with anyone like this for more months than you could count on your hands. you've been touch-starved and lacking words of affirmation for so long, and you needed something to be only about you for once. 

“i’m more than okay with this,” you smile up at him, nodding to make your approval fully known. “and yes, i know i can stop you if i need to.”

jude reciprocates the same smile before leaning in and smothering your lips with his, pushing his cock into your tight wetness, so tight that your pussy almost pushes him back out, not used to being penetrated by something so thick.

“oh my god!” the feeling of tightness/fullness has you both gasping out the same thing at the same time, erupting into quiet giggles when the two of you realise your matching reactions. 

jude’s mouth finds its way back home in the embrace of your lips and you swear this is heaven, the way his cock slides in and out of your sopping cunt, set at such a perfect pace, the slight friction causing you to grow even wetter – the filth of it all contrasts so well with the sweetness of his muffled moans and tender kisses on your neck, moving down onto your collarbones and tits.

a particularly harsh thrust of his cock has your back arching, chest pushed up to his heated face, and he takes this golden opportunity to wrap his lips around your erect nipple, spending a good while sucking and tugging on the skin around it. you’re amazed at how his cock doesn’t relent inside you, the speed still so quick and consistent even when he’s so occupied in painting splotches on your tits with his mouth.

“there,” he pants out, pulling his head back and marvelling at his own creation. “now, there’s no doubt that you’re really mine.” the smile he gives you is a killer.

you whine at his declaration of you belonging to him, scratching at his shoulders and calling out his name to indicate that it’s all too much for you, that you’re so, so close to cumming on his cock and really giving him what he wants rather than pleasing yourself. you figure that’s you gone now; you’re more willing to put the boy above your own needs because you’re down that fucking bad for him.

“fuck, jude, i’m gonna cum!” you sob, your moans becoming more frequent and higher pitched, legs starting to shake from the intoxicating mix of exhaustion and delight. you’re frantically chanting “please, please, please” into his mouth which parts to swallow your whimpering, wet lips kissing your trembling ones. 

“go on, baby, cum for me, cum all over this cock,” he groans out, eyes squeezing shut when the feeling of your pussy clamping down tightly on his thickness proves too much to handle, face finding refuge in the crook of your neck. he knows you don’t need his permission, he would’ve let you orgasm as many times as you wanted to, would’ve let you use him like your own personal sex toy, but the words were only there to keep you going when his hips felt like faltering – he needed you cumming on his cock like he promised before, and he wasn’t about to fuck it up himself.

a final scream rips from your throat as you cum hard around jude, pussy clenching and pulsating around his cock so sporadically you thought you were having two orgasms at once. jude can’t handle it anymore, pulling out with a myriad of moans as he pumps his shaft with a hand, decorating the expanse of your lower abdomen with warm, white liquid. you’re still squirming, slowly trying to wheeze out the remaining whimpers from your lungs which you’re finding hard to do with the way jude pants and moans above you, the boy so spent he can’t help but breathe like he hasn’t had access to air for the past hour.  

he flops down by your side, arms and legs sprawled like a starfish, chest rising and falling as he attempts to recuperate from the mindblowing sex you two just had. the image is so unserious that you can’t stifle your giggles but you decide to take another step of courage to lay on your side resting your head on his shoulder, fingers stroking his abs and playing with the curly hairs of his happy trail. 

the room is quiet now with the scent of sex wafting through your nostrils on occasion but it’s the most comfortable silence you’ve experienced with jude, the feeling of his hot skin on yours so soothing to you.

after a period of panting, jude clears his throat and your ears prick up at the presence of sound. he turns his head towards you and you lift yourself up and off him out of instinct – you want full attention on him.

“i don’t want this to be a one-time kinda thing, y’know,” he proclaims, biting his lip from saying too much in one go.

“what, is this your way of saying you want round two already?” you joke, nose crinkling at the way he rolls his eyes playfully.

“shut up,” he delivers a poke to your side. “i mean, well, i don’t want either one of us to see this as a spur-of-the-moment thing, i just…” you look at him expectantly, silently telling him to continue. “i want you to be my girlfriend, y/n.” 

you’re nearly knocked back by his words, wondering if they’re real or if you’re simply just hearing things. you thought dialogue like that, coming from him, was only reserved for your imagination, kept secret and only spoken to you in late-night mental scenarios that would comfort you on your way to slumberland.

you let out a laugh that’s an odd mix of relief and disbelief, quickly replying “yes, yes, of course” to his awaiting face, which releases a look of relief itself before jude captures your lips with such passion you’re both knocked back onto the plush pillows, giggling into each other’s mouths until your hands find themselves running down the defined muscles of his abdomen and over his hardening cock.

[dilfl0v3rss]

put to sleep

it was the middle of the week. geto didn’t have work in the morning, but he still wanted to go to bed on time to keep his sleep schedule from getting messed up. you clearly didn’t understand that as you continued to scroll through different apps with your music on full blast through your phone. “this cute, they got my size? and doooo, im copping this fasho” you said, your back facing his chest as you added another piece of clothing to your cart, princess diana playing loudly through your phone speaker as you continued on your search.

geto let out a low groan, his low eyes shutting as he tried his best to focus on going to bed. he was almost successful too, fatigue slowly overtaking him as his lips parted to let out a yawn. “papa look!” you said, a giddy smile on your face as you turned around and shoved your bright ass screen in his face for him to look at. the shining light of your phone made geto squint, quickly pushing it out of his face and holding your small hand in his. “mama i need you to go to bed” he said, his tired voice giving you butterflies as you looked at him with a soft smile.

“but whyyy? youn got work so we can stay up. plus, m’not tired anyways” you said, pulling your hand from his grip before scrolling back through your apps. “don’t matter, still needa go t’bed on time so i’ll be able to get up for work when it’s time to go back” you groaned, rolling your eyes as you lowered your brightness and put the phone back in his face. “kay just order this first pleaseeee” geto rolled his eyes, his broad chests moving up and down as he took a deep sigh. “ina mornin” he mumbled, laying on his back as he moved his head the opposite way of you, not like that stopped you though. you just crawled your way onto his waist, straddling him as you put the phone back in his face. “you ordering it right now is all i need t’fall asleep”

the feeling of your bare pussy moving on his boxer covered print made him internally groan, his big, tattooed hands slowly moving to your ass to give it a tight squeeze. in that moment an idea popped up in his head. a lazy smirk creeping its way on his face as he stared at you with low eyes. “got sum else t’put you t’sleep”

“ride that dick baby cmon” geto groaned, his hands squeezing tight on your ass while he bounced you up and down his long dick. your knees burned, your pussy was stretched, and your brain was completely turned to mush, but you couldn’t stop. his deep voice only fueling your body more to continue bouncing. “s…so big daddy” you moaned, your acrylic nails digging into his large pecs as you felt your release begin to creep up your spine. “i know mama, but you love it tho, right? love bouncing on this big dick?” you nodded your head slowly, brown eyes crossing as you felt his tip caress your g spot. your lack of reply irritated geto, making him loudly suck his teeth before leaving three hard slaps to your ass.

“a nod ain’t a reply mama…taught you better than that” he grumbled, dick only getting harder as he listened to your pretty whines. desperate cries of “m’sorry m’sorry” and “can’t think” flew from your lips as you began to bounce a little harder. geto groaned at the sight, freeing one of his hands from the hot skin of your ass to pull the front of your shirt up to your chest. his eyes traveled from the slight bounce of your breasts to the small bulge disappearing and reappearing in your stomach. eventually stopping at the sloppy mess the two of you were making between your thick thighs. your previous orgasms mixed with your wetness causing the sticky white scene before him.

“messy little thing” he whispered, his other hand moving from your ass to toy with your clit. geto’s eyes instantly shot to your face, waiting in excitement for his favorite words to leave your pretty lips. your eyes rolled from the pleasure, mouth forming in a silent scream before mindless words began to fall from tongue. “l-love you papa….m’gonna make a messss!” a sexy smirk made its way to his lips, his pearly white teeth bare to you as he began to fuck his hips back up into you. his thumb moved quicker on your clit, forcing you to throw your head back as more pretty cries fell from your lips. “i love you more princess. gon head and make a mess for papa”

on his command a slight shake came to your body, the tight coil in your stomach snapping as your release flowed out of you like a stream. “uhh huhh, jus like that mama. daddy got you” at the sight of you geto met his end, his hot ropes shooting deep into you as he tucked his bottom lip behind his teeth. he completely emptied himself into you as he released silent prayer that you remembered to take your birth control. the feeling of your head slapping onto his chest brought him out of his daze. your light snores bringing a chuckle out of his chest as you slept soundly on top of him with his dick softening in you. as you slept geto made quick work of removing the towel he laid beneath the both of you, letting the fabric drop to the floor before lifting the covers over your tired bodies.

“goodnight pretty”

im in love wit this man fr i’m so serious ab him😩

[funniestpersonalivefr]

resident evil music headcanons

OKAY OKAY first time writing something and putting it out there but i need to speak my truth lmfao. dont judge too harshly im just autistic about resident evil

includes: albert wesker, leon s kennedy, chris redfield, claire redfield, jill valentine, rebecca chambers, and carlos oliveira

albert wesker:

let's be so fr wesker is gonna be a prick about music

only listens to classical music and maybe some slow smooth jazz

he only listens to music at home playing it through a record player

just imagine him sitting in his at home office working on research with tchaikovsky playing in the background

he'd enjoy going to ballets, symphonies, and operas and you cannot convince me other wise

leon s kennedy:

"he's so lana del ray coded" shut up his ass is listening to limp bizkit be so fr

especially when he's older its just divorced depressed dad rock

he's screaming the words to higher by creed in a bar and chris is trying to calm him down like yikes

definitely would try to go to concerts but they get so loud it gets a little overwhelming for him

he's got a banger cd collection and he's got a portable cd player he refuses to get rid of

chris redfield:

he says he doesn't have that much of preference in music as he just will listen to whatever is playing on the radio

however i think he definitely likes classic rock and classic country

he enjoys bands like queen, pink floyd, and the police

with his work schedule he rarely gets the opportunity to attend concerts and a lot of his favorite artists are dead (rip me too tho)

chris doesn't listen to a bunch of music but that's okay the man is busy

claire redfield:

claire, claire, claire

i wanna say claire is listening to abba and she sings along and dances whenever she does

she also would listen to stevie nicks

(also probably bands like weezer and gorillaz)

and i think as lana del ray started popping off claire was there listening like cmon guys she'd love the ultraviolence album

jill valentine:

jill is listening to the cranberries and the cardigans

when she was younger she loved loud rock but as she's getting older she finds herself wanting to listen to calmer music

when she was younger she would've loved bands like nirvana

now she likes to just plug her headphones in and lay down (its her way of escaping everything and taking a step back)

her and claire make playlists together 🫶

rebecca chambers:

can i real quick just say i love rebecca? okay thank you she is my girl

now idk if this is gonna be controversial but im gonna say it

she'd be a swiftie

she certainly doesn't enjoy taylors carbon emissions but she loves the music (her favorite album would be 1989 or lover)

she's also someone who uses a streaming platform instead of lugging around cds or something

carlos oliveira:

whore.

i just know this man is listening to songs like daddy's home by usher

he probably enjoys a lot of hip hop and rap

some of his favorite songs are captain save a hoe, california love, and it wasnt me

he's like if hey sexy lady by shaggy was a person

anyways just remember these are all my opinions and dont like scream at me for it yk. this is just a silly post. :)

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[askthestans]

Are any of you older than each other like by 7 minutes or something

Stanley: Oh boy, here we go. Anon, I'll give ya one piece of advice when it comes to dealin' with my brother Ford: do not - and I repeat - do NOT remind 'im of anything he's either good at or proud of. Your ears will thank me.

Stanford: I'll translate that for you. He means to say, "I'm the younger twin, and I'm incredibly insecure about it.". There.

Stanley: Pfft, like a few minutes means anything!

All of the sudden, Dipper and Mabel walk into the room, looking quite bored. They see Ford and Stan having an argument and they both get sly smirks.

Mabel: Grunkle fight?

Dipper: Grunkle fight.

Stanley: Kids, that's not gonna work. I'm not gettin' into a fight with Sixer here just for your entertainment. Besides, I'm right: a few minutes doesn't matter. And even if it did, me and Ford are past fighting over petty crap now, because we're mature adults.

Dipper and Mabel give each other a skeptical look.

Stanford: Stan's right, kids. We might have fought in the past, but no longer. Our bond's been strengthened over a year of traveling together on the Stan-O-War II, and nothing - absolutely nothing - can make Stan and I turn against each other.

Soos walks in the room.

Soos: Do my eyes deceive me? Is another Grunkle fight upon us, and will it serve as good canon material to inspire more of my Stanfiction? Not gonna lie, the canon material's been kinda lacking these days. It's almost like the writers have forgotten about us!

Stanley: No! No Grunkle fights! And I thought I told ya to quit writin' Stanfiction or whatever about me or my brother! Stanford: Nonsense. He puts his hand on Soos' shoulder. Soos, I encourage you to follow your dreams. Write all the Stanfiction your heart desires. Stanley: You're only sayin' that 'cause Soos always makes you the hero!

Soos: It's okay, Stan. Ford may be the hero of my Stanfiction... His voice turns into a whisper and he tenderly pets Stan's hand. But you're the hero of my heart.

Stanley: He rips his hand out of Soos'. Yeesh, I take it back! Write about Ford all ya want! Just keep me out of it. He sighs. Anyways, the point is, is me and Ford are not gonna fight. We never fight anymore!

Soos, Dipper, and Mabel look at each other. It's a mix of a knowing skepticism, a smirk, and a glance that almost seems as if an agreement made in secret is being referenced. For some reason, Soos just smiles, then runs off to the kitchen, where the sound of popping popcorn can be heard down the hall for no reason in particular.

Dipper: Oh, right, right. Of course. We all know you guys are over that fighting stuff. I mean, you're the oldest ones here! Surely neither of you would ever get into a fight so petty that you turn the whole Shack into a warzone over something as dumb as whether or not who was born first matters. He glances over at his sister. Right, Mabel? They're responsible, mature adults, our Grunkles?

Mabel: Totally! Definitely! The most responsible adults the world has ever seen! Although... that argument you and me had the other day... nah! Never mind. I shouldn't bring it up.

Dipper: Oh, the one over... Dipper pauses, as if he's just making something up. Right, the one about whether Ford or Stan is the more fun Grunkle. Yep. A real snoozefest, that argument was. It was obvious what the answer is, anyways.

Stan and Ford glance at each other, suspicious, as if testing the waters to see if the other will start arguing about it.

Stanford: We're both equally fun, kids. And that's all I'll say about it.

Stanley: Exactly! Equally fun. His grin widens. Even if Ford's summer fun ideas involve more dangerous explosions and injuries and strange chemical smells than a World War I trench.

Stanford: Yes... His smile fades a bit and shoots Stan a major case of stink-eye. And even if Stan's summer fun ideas are as entertaining as a nursing home activity schedule, yet still somehow end up with us in jail 50% of the time.

Stanley: He pauses, his grin fading as well. Well, we can't all be interdimensional criminals like Ford here! I'm just tryin' to take after my older by only seven pointless minutes brother. Imagine havin' a whole Multiverse hate ya, and not just Earth!

Stanford: Well, for your information, what you call 'explosions and injuries and strange chemical smells' is something you wouldn't grasp in a million years: science. Some of us need to actually contribute to society, you know.

Stanley: Yeah? And some of us need to look up the definition of 'rational' and 'safe' in the dictionary, because apparently you can't tell the difference between a biohazard symbol and a welcome sign! ~

Three hours later, Soos, Mabel, Dipper, and now Wendy are on the front lawn of the Shack, sitting in comfy lawn chairs and inhaling popcorn and Pitt Soda like their lives depend on it. Mabel's knitting another 'Stanwich' sweater, Dipper's got his arms behind his head and is smirking, Wendy is recording, and Soos is writing Stanfiction on a laptop.

Stan and Ford are on the lawn in front of them, wrestling.

Stanford: I'm the more mature adult here!

Stanley: More mature? The only thing more 'mature' about you is seven stupid minutes and your ridiculous fashion sense! AKA, none!

Stanford: Trench coats and turtlenecks are stylish and classy, two words you don't know the definition of! At least I don't spend half the day in boxers!

Stanley: Yeah, that's 'cause I don't need to wear tight pants all day to hide a giant stick up my ass, unlike some people!

Soos: Tapping away at his Stanfiction. The Muses... they sing to me!

Wendy: Um... how long do these Grunkle fights usually last, anyways?

Dipper: Shrugs. Eh, anywhere from two hours to three days, on average.

Mabel brings out a scrapbook, showing a Grunkle fight prior. The pictures seem to indicate a squabble that involved the furniture turned over into cover to hide behind, a Stan and Ford with eyes more sleepless than usual and stubble that looked like it hadn't been shaved in days, a fist fight with oven mitts, and nearly the whole town watching at one point as Stan chased Ford down a street, both in Disney princess dresses, with a spoon and a goat in Stan's hands and Ford flipping a double middle finger behind him at Stan. Mabel: The world record is one week! Too bad you weren't there for Grunklegeddon, Wendy.

Wendy: Her eye twitches upon seeing the photos of Grunklegeddon. And what are the chances this one will turn into something just as bad or worse?

Dipper: Depends. Usually, we know it's gonna be at least four days if Ford brings up the meatloaf argument.

Wendy: Meatloaf?

Just then, Ford and Stan still wrestling on the lawn, Ford brings up said meatloaf argument. Something about their time on the Stan-O-War II, Ford making his favorite meatloaf recipe every Friday night, and a pack of mermaids always following soon after, asking if they had any more 'meat tasties' that the 'old man clone that smelled like cigars and regret' dumped overboard every Friday night right around dinnertime.

Stanford: You could have just told me you didn't like it!

Stanley: Newsflash, Poindexter, no one would like a meatloaf made of eel and gorgon meat!

Stanford: Come on, I spent thirty years in the Multiverse and ate way worse than that, and you couldn't handle a little eel and gorgon!? So what if it had some snake heads in it!? Besides, scientifically, gorgon and eel is much healthier for you than beef, and you did lose some weight, remember?

Stanley: Because I kept dumpin' that freaky slop in the ocean!

Soos, Dipper, and Mabel look at each other, excited. Wendy just looks concerned for a moment as Stan and Ford keep fighting, then shrugs and smiles, leaning back and watching the festivities commence.

[anzynai]

Study Break!

Riddle & Ace & Chenya (TWST)

a/n: WOOOO another twst fic done! and its lee riddle!! surprisingly enough, i actually got a lot of lee riddle requests (which i dont blame u nom nom) so im planning to write those requests in the future. still, here i combined two of them so i hope u dont mind! this was actually meant to be posted much sooner but well.. got sidetracked. plus, i wanted to write another fic before i posted this one. (that did not happen) ANYWAY, enjoy!

summary: when ace is forced to study with riddle, he finds that things may not be so bad after-all when a friend of riddle’s comes to visit!

word count: 1.5k

——

“Urghhh..” Ace groaned to himself. “This sucks..” Slouching over his papers, he wanted nothing more than to just go back to his room and sleep for ten years.

See, it was his fault, wasn’t it? That he had to waste three hours of his day on schoolwork instead of doing literally anything else. It’s true that he did get a.. well, less than favorable score on his test, but no! What he blamed himself on was the fact he had accidentally let Riddle see it!

And now, he was here, in the Heartslabyul Lounge, textbooks as far as the eye can see (or really, only covering the table) and Riddle drilling lesson after lesson into his brain. He was sure that if he stayed there a second longer, his brain would quite literally melt.

He hated that Riddle was actually a really good tutor. This wasn’t Ace’s first time getting a tutoring session with the Housewarden, despite the other’s busy schedule. But.. he had to be in the mood to study, you know?

“Do you get it, Ace? This is important,” Riddle asked, causing another groan to pass through the freshman’s lips.

“Yes… but..” He said, knowing full well that he hadn't been listening to Riddle for the past five minutes. “Can’t we just take a small break?”

“Not when you haven’t been listening to me at all. Do you really think you’re deserving of a break?” Riddle narrowed his eyes, his arms crossed. Ace, on the other hand, averted his eyes after getting through his initial shock.

“So you noticed..”

“Of course I did.”

“I just can’t focus! It’s just one test. I’ll do better on the next one.” Ace shrugged, looking out the window. He could be doing other things right now. Should he just.. say he needs to go to the bathroom and just leave? No, it’s Riddle. He would wait until Ace got back and punish him. And no one wanted to be on the receiving end of Riddle’s punishments.

“But you didn’t do well on this one. Tell me, what will you do if this material shows up on the final exam?” Riddle questioned, doubtful.

“Eh..”

“Hehe, playing teacher?” A voice suddenly cut out, startling the two. Ace jerked his head over towards the source to see.. a floating head?!

“Ah! It’s you!” What was his name? Arte… Pinky..? Huh???

“Chenya,” Riddle sighed, then looked up, a glare directed at him, rather than Ace. “Stop using your signature spell to scare others.”

“Hehe.” Chenya winked, then the rest of his body appeared.

“Freaky…” Ace mumbled to himself, still recovering from his heart attack earlier. How did he get in here anyway? When did he get here?

“What are you doing here?” Riddle asked the RSA student.

“Can’t I just visit my friends~?” Chenya put his hands behind his head, casually.

Riddle pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m assuming you’ve already met with Trey then?”

“Nope,” Chenya started, popping the p. “I actually thought I was gonna see you two together. You two used to be like, attached at the hip.”

“We were not.” Riddle looked away.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatcha doing?” He said, half-walking, half-skipping over to the table. Sevens, him and Floyd would get along swimmingly— no pun intended.

“As you can see, I’m tutoring one of my freshmen. He got an unacceptable grade on his last test and I am going to ensure that doesn’t happen again,” Riddle explains, gesturing at the textbooks sprawled about on the table.

“Way to put all my business out there, Housewarden..” Ace muttered under his breath. Riddle pointedly ignored him.

“Looks like he’s been working hard. I heard him ask for a break! Why not give the little freshie one?”

“Little freshie?!” Ace can hardly be grateful for Chenya trying to convince the housewarden to give Ace a break when he’s called that! Still.. a break would be nice.

Riddle looks between the two, a hopeful glint in each of their eyes.

Then, he sighed. “Fine. I will permit silent reading for ten minutes,” He responded, at last, handing him an alchemy textbook.

“Eh?! That’s not a break at all!” Ace exclaimed, before he could help it. He withdrew slightly at the glare that Riddle sent him.

“Yeah. I mean, like, something away from studying. Come on, the Chenya is visiting, do you think I’d wanna watch you two studying?” Chenya whined, throwing his arms out. He seemed very.. mischievous. Clearly, this was not his first rodeo.

“And what do you suggest?” Riddle raised a brow.

“I know!” Chenya declared, like he had been waiting for it, then he set his sights on Ace. Ace startled when Chenya started walking towards him, getting closer and cupping his ear to whisper into it.

Ace lit up while Riddle grimaced. Ace looked at the housewarden, newfound fervor in his demeanor. Ace had a mission and he could tell Riddle was not looking forward to finding out what it was.

“What are you two scheming over there?” Riddle demanded and Chenya shook, like he forgot the other was there. Then, the same fervor was in his eyes.

“Get him!” Chenya shouted, suddenly, as if Ace were a soldier or a knight or… something. Still, Ace obliged, running to pounce Riddle. Riddle didn’t seem to stop him, even though he very well could have, so the freshman could tell that he was curious about where this was going to go.

Then, Ace wiggled his fingers on Riddle’s sides and Chenya joined in, tickling Riddle’s ribs and armpits.

“H-huh?! Unhahand me!”

“No way! You were right, he is ticklish!” Ace exclaimed, almost incredulously.

“Hehe, isn’t he?” Chenya giggled. And that’s when it seemed to click in Riddle’s mind that that’s what they were whispering about. Riddle bit his lip, trying to resist but it was all over before he even began.

“Lehehehet gohoho!” Riddle laughed, an unwilling blush rising to his cheeks. Ignoring all that Riddle was, he looked so.. cute and innocent here.

“Nuh uh! This is how I want to spend my break!” Ace started poking his fingers in between Riddle’s ribs, loudly and obnoxiously singing some classical music, like Riddle was a piano. He knew he would probably die later, but… it was worth it.

When he hit a particular sensitive spot on his ribs, Riddle actually snorted. Yep. Definitely worth it.

Chenya was squeezing Riddle’s thighs, lightly grazing the tops of his knees all the while.

“You twohohoho, stahahap!” Riddle cried, squirming and trying to grab his magic pen from his pocket. That is, until Ace started scratching at Riddle’s waist, grazing his sides just barely, but enough to drive him mad.

“No way! Not when I found out my housewarden is,” Ace started, teasingly. “…this ticklish~” He enunciated his words with a poke to his side, laughing at how Riddle jolted each time.

“Teehee, he is just as ticklish as he was when he was little! So cuteee!” Chenya cooed, his slender fingers exploring Riddle’s tummy and bellybutton.

“Shuhuhut uhuhup!” Riddle screeched, his face bright red and Ace wasn’t really sure whether it was from embarrassment or anger. Maybe both. Maybe this shouldn’t go on much longer, he thought, thinking back about the times Riddle had used his unique magic on him. Riddle was better about it now, but he definitely still had his limits.

“Seems like you’re having fun?” A voice called out of seemingly nowhere. All three heads jerked towards the sound, spotting Trey in the doorway.

“Trehehehey! Mahahahake theheheem stohop!” Riddle giggled, finally giving up on trying to break free as he looked at Trey who chuckled in response.

“Alright, don’t you guys think he’s had enough?” Trey asked, walking closer to them but never actually stopping. Ace looked at his house warden and backed away. Chenya got in a few more pokes in before he stopped, as well, deciding to jog over to Trey.

“Trey! Your best friend is here!” He exclaimed, pointing at himself and winking. A fond smile made its way onto Trey’s face and Ace offhandedly wonders about the history between the three.

It is almost silent for a few moments, save for Riddle exhaling slowly and deeply.

“I hope that made for a sufficient break.” Riddle glared at the two, but especially Ace. Likely for giving into Chenya’s whims, which.. fair, but shouldn’t he be more angry at Chenya who suggested tickling him in the first place?!

“It definitely did, Housewarden!” Ace admitted, pushing any fear of retaliation that he might’ve had, recalling the moments just now. If Riddle hadn’t collared him, he must be safe, right? And well, it’s Riddle. Riddle would never do something so petty like tickle him back.

“Whatever. Let’s just get back to learning. And there will be no breaks until we are finished,” The Housewarden declares, sitting up to pick up one of the textbooks on the table. However, he scooted closer towards Ace, so that they were more diagonal than across.

Ace decided not to think about it too much. That is, until Riddle began poking him in the side every time he lost focus or got an answer wrong.

He supposed that this was what he deserved, so he didn't say anything. At least pokes in the side were all it was…

He shivered at the thought of Riddle finding out about how embarrassingly ticklish he was, but he’ll save that for another day! Now, he just has to get through this tutoring session… Ughhhh…

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to not use his phone when we go camping with my family or to not come at all?

I have been going camping with my family every year since the yeat I was born. I am an adult now and have been with my boyfriend for several years, and he has come camping with me a few times.

The place we go camping only got cell service/electricity in the past few years. Which means for 90% of my life, I came up here and had to "unplug". I used to not like it as a teen, but as an adult with a real job, I really like getting away from it all. My family is so used to not having internet/ cell service/ wifi up here, that we still use it even though we can now.

This year, I noticed my boyfriend has been on his phone alot scrolling through social media. We camp with a lot of family friends (like, 4+ other families), so we constantly have people popping in and out of our site to hang out, chat, catch up etc etc because our site is in a central location. He obviously doesnt know these family friends as well as I do, but it feels rude that he essentially sits in a corner on his phone when there are "guests visiting". No one else really uses their phones either.

One night there was a firefly between our tent and the tent's rain cover that was putting in light show that was really cool to watch! But my boyfriend kept going on his phone, and the light from his phone was blocking out the firefly lights. I asked him to put his phone away because this was a magical experience for me and his phone was preventing me from seeing it. I felt bad asking him to put his phone away, but I have been camping here for XX number of years and having a firefly that close has never happened.

I think thats when I started to get concerned with his phone use. The idea that this magical once and a life time nature experience was happening, and he would rather be scrolling through social media which he can do the other 358 days a year. He also like to "update me" on all the horrible doom scrolling he sees on twitter etc, as well as try to show me memes and "group chat jokes." Even when we have people over and Im talking to them. He is NEVER like that in the "real world"

I talked to him about he behavoir a little bit, and he said that since he has ADHD he needs to be constantly stimulated and can't just "sit there and do nothing." I normally read while camping but he hates reading, so that doesnt work for him. He also complained about how my family just "sits around" while we go camping. I didn't say anything because I was embarrassed to tell him that I like that about camping too.

I have been thinking about asking him to either use his phone less next year, or to not come next year (he hasnt come every single year with me anyways, depending on his schedule). Cause to be it seems like he's not enjoying the 'camping' part of camping. I don't want to force my "unplugged lifestyle" on him if he really cant stand it. Nor do I want it to be an ultimatum that he has to "conform to my unplugged lifestyle, or not come." I also feel like asking him not to come is going to hurt his feelings a lot. This would have been easier if our campsite never got service or internet. He used to be a boy scout and go on week+ long camping trips, so its not like he's new to camping as a whole.

tldr: Im annoyed by my boyfriends excessive phone use while camping. WIBTA if I asked him to either stop or not come next year?

What are these acronyms?

[fadelbison]

no but THK cast foursome fic where they keep daring each other to do wilder and wilder stuff until it ends in straight up sex because they ARE insufferable like that.

pretty please?

oh man i started writing this for you i just remembered and I dont even know if you're still here but I really struggled with how it should end. i dont know im stuck between first getting really jealous and halting the night early or getting goaded into going back to khaotung's shiny new house and getting down and dirty about it

Anyway you get a fic AND a poll:

[FirstKhaotung + JoongDunk; PG:13]

“P’Fiiiiiirrrr~~~~~~~”

Joong says in a honeyed little whine as he swings to take the seat next to him, his arm slinging around First’s shoulder. He just finished singing some current top 10 pop song that First hasn’t even gotten around to hearing before tonight. They’ve been generous with drinks tonight, it’s been a while since all four of them were free of a morning schedule and the atmosphere is amped with an excitement that’s been building the whole night. There’s a glint in Joong’s eyes and he’s smiling wide, showing all his teeth. First doesn’t know what is going to come out of Joong’s mouth next but he does know that 1) it will be an outrageous question and 2) the answer should be a resounding “No!” 

“Wanna play truth and dare?”

Joong is drunk, he smells more like the sickly sweet corn syrup of his chaser than alcohol but the way he’s picking at First’s collar only underscores his initial misgivings. But before First can say anything, Dunk bangs loudly on the table and Khaotung cheers and saunters over to where Joong and First are huddled.

“That’s a gre~~~attt idea, right?” Khaotung sits on the other side of First, sandwiching him in but also somehow managing to drape himself across First’s lap to hug Joong’s shoulder, “Nong Joong you only have - what was it you said the other day? - oh yeah! Big brained ideas, Nong Joong only has the biggest brain ideas.” Khaotung stretches his arms out wide when he says ‘big’ the second time, only misses smacking First and Joong because they both duck. Khaotung wobbles when his gesture throws him off balance from the precarious perch he’s put himself on.

“I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight.” First says, he puts his hand on Khaotung’s back to steady him, “Don’t you?”

Khaotung sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry at him while the rest boo loudly.

“C’mon, P’Fir. Don’t leave, we won’t have a chance like this for a while.”

The schedule for the next two months he’s been handed yesterday was rough. And the first draft is usually the relaxed version, First doesn’t know the next time he’ll have a weekend or be able to sleep in past 6 am. But Joong didn’t have to win him over with logic because in the next moment Khaotung says, “Let’s play, na Fir?”

“Do it properly! Do it properly!” Joong yells at the room and then somehow he and Dunk manage to co-ordinate a little chorus of, “Let’s play na P’Fiiiiir~~~~”

Khaotung is laughing with his whole face, eyes little more than crescent lines, he’s still sitting a little too close to First for what he does next; wraps a hand around First’s nape so that their faces are uncomfortably close, “Let’s play.”  And god. Forget Joong and Dunk - Khaotung is drunk. And drunk Khaotung only knows how to cheat, “na? P’Fir?” He says with a little tilt of his head.

*

Three more drinks into the night and everything starts feeling like a great idea. Thus far they have had several extremely enjoyable rounds which involved letting Joong take pictures of him with his fingers up his nose, singing modern songs in old school ballad style which Joong seemed proficient at and that Dunk seemed to know, simply wanting to show off when he gave him that dare. There were also several ill advised beer combos, Dunk had looked genuinely green after drinking his with mayonnaise, and Khaotung hiding his face as he shyly admits that there are things from the THK script he’s curious about trying out in real life.

Also, Joong is stripped down to his inner white tank, the least amount of clothes he’s legally allowed to wear in a karaoke bar which First only assumes is part of a dare since he’d gone to the bathroom and just come back to the room to find him looking like that. What First didn’t realize was that they were shifting gears into the middle school girls’ sleepover portion of the night. So First is not expecting it when Dunk looks at him and says, “Kiss the one you want, of the three of us.” And then taps his lips to make sure that First knows what he means by kiss.

First rolls his eyes, mutters a little ‘easy’ before he leans into Khaotung’s personal space just for a moment, as familiar with it as though it were his own, for the quickest little peck. Khaotung doesn’t reciprocate so much as he just lets it happen. There’s a pleased smile on his face though which makes First think that if he’d gone in for a longer kiss Khaotung would let him do that too. 

It’s an oddly comforting thought.

[localgardenweed]

Okay I did @vyo96’s HWS Japan map thingy and this is a perfect time to roughly explain my characterization of my baby girl

Now look imma admit he fucks, he can fuck and will fuck but thats a story for another day, preferably December 20th 2024 but we’ll get there when we get there. In short just give him his viagra hes still got it in him

Anyway i like to say he’s a little fucked up in the head and just so done with everything around him that he can only put on a plain face and keep trudging through till he kicks the bucket. The curse of immortality has left him a little fucked up, wondering when it’ll all be over, sometimes wishing he was just plain mortal and not stuck waiting for his country to fall apart. He loves his people but sometimes wishes he didn’t have to be a personified country and just a normal human along side them cause he feels lile he can do more for them as human since him and all the other countries are under the thumb of their governments half the time

I want to say that he wants people to think he’s more in up in the “just a little fella” section cause like he doesn’t want people to know he’s popping his pills, that’s embarrassing!! He just buries his feelings deep down so no one can see them until his friends pull up and hold him down and operate the feelings out of him.

His personality isnt that much different from his canon version but i like to think he is definitely more expressive and idk but emotional??? When he’s by himself like, in the comfort of his own home he’ll let out a big loud laugh over a meme but in public he’ll just smile and say “that was funny”. He thinks way too much about how he looks he looks in public its a problem. He actually has some wit and really sarcastic when he wants to be. He can also be really scary but he doesn’t like showing that side too much so he just kinda keeps it in the back burner.

He’s definitely very self sufficient i mean he’s had like 2000ish years to live and grow bro practically picked up everything as a hobby at least once. He’s made a schedule which he has been keeping pretty much the same throughout the years, only really changes if big like advancements are made like he used to go to the store once a month to rent VHS and had planned days to go return them all but now he just either streams it or has bought all the VHS and DVD he wanted and plays them at home.

He can be very affectionate if he wants to but feels cringe when he does it in public so mostly keeps it all in. But if he had his way he would smother his s/o in gifts and kisses and loving pets and be at their knees wondering if they need anything. Thats mostly at home though in public he just holds pinkies. With his close friends (mostly just Italy, Germany and Prussia) he opens up more a little baby bit, he actually shows some emotion and lets out more of his personality!! Oh my god!!!! He actually…shares his actual opinion/concern?!? He feels more comfortable with letting them see his real feelings and they like seeing it too cause they were getting concerned that he just nodded along to almost everything when it was smth they definitely should not have been doing.

Anyway best character deserves more respect he is the light of my life and i hold him very dear to me. I wish i could like talk about him more but trying to write this was hard as hell cause i cant always express my feelings with words im better at talking than writing. I tried to get some of my like speaking and form of talking into this but some areas could use work.

If any other hetalia japan lovers wanna speak their truth speak it and we can come together and have a meeting and talk about him

[nicodrawings]

Hi! I’m a somewhat new follower, and I loved your milesganke art so much!

I wanted to ask for your own potential headcanons regarding the miles and ganke’s relationship dynamics.

(I.e. marriage, any arguments, what they’re like living together,…. possible future kids👀, etc.)

Lol hopefully this question isn’t confusing.😭

AAAAAAAA IM SO HAPPY YOU ASKED!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok Imma type the rest cuz my hand is getting tired

-Miles and 20 and Ganke is 19 when they move out. Ganke and Miles see their families once a week.

-I’ve said this before but Miles doesn’t go to college. He trains under Misty Knight and works with S.H.E.I.L.D more as he’s learning more about detective work (and is lowkey preparing to take over as the the new Spider-Man leader once Peter retires)

-Ganke is going to school for tech shit but eventually changes is major to social work (there’s a huge reason for this that I’ll get into in another post)

-They end up adopting a black cat that was called Midnight at the shelter but never really responded to the name. The people working at the shelter said “looks like she chose you” seeing how well she bonded with Ganke immediately. He renamed her CoCo. She’s a sweet girl, a little weird though.

-They aren’t super PDA with each other but much like how Peter and MJ are in my AU (who also aren’t super PDA) you could hear a conversation they’d have with each other and be like “oh! They really care for each other”

-they switch chores and household responsibilities depending on work and school scheduling

-They can both be workaholics AND night owls so they constantly have to hold each other accountable for yknow…resting.

-they make a specific day out of the week where they both do nothing having to do with school or work. They just sleep in and have a slow morning and watch Burn Notice all day and talk about nothing and anything all at once.

-They’re both not screamers when they argue but can throw some hurtful words around that they regret saying once they cool down. Also Ganke can be dismissive when he’s irritated or angry. Something they learn to work on overtime.

-Big spoon/Little spoon is interchangeable depending on how they sleepin that day.

-Miles is the better cook. He like cooks well without even trying. It infuriates Ganke but he can’t be too mad cuz he gets to eat the food.

-It would be 5 years before Miles pops the big question.

-Miles is a giant sap who knew he was gonna marry Ganke the moment they started dating.

-He would propose at the park. He proposed there because that’s where they would have playdates when they were kids.

-Ganke just laughs because he planned on proposing to him a week later. He obviously says yes.

-The wedding isn’t big. They make sure to save a seat for Gankes dad. He put a framed picture on his chair to represent his attendance.

-They do the same for Uncle Aaron despite him and Miles’s tumultuous relationship.

-Hobie is the best man

-Gwen is the maid of honor

-It would be about 3 years or so before they meet 2 super powered little ones, a boy and a girl. They’re fraternal twins. They end up adopting the twins.

This is it for now. I’m sure there’s more stuff my brain can’t think of right now. BUT THANK YOU THOUGH FOR BEING INVESTED ENOUGH TO ASK ME QUESTIONS YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY IT MADE ME TO SEE YOU ASK THIS QUESTION!

I actually have so much set up plot wise for this AU that I might as well do it legitimately. But imma take my time if I do.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed my ramblings!

UPDATE: I meant to say that Miles is NOT out to his parents.

[osakafromazumangadaioh]

(This is a post I made on my cohost a lil while ago, I lightly edited it for clarity)

You've seen this post about Hidamari Sketch right? It's kind of famous, at least it is to me. If you can't click through to see the link text here it is.

Remember how Hidamari Sketch aired during the DTV transition, and SHAFT knew exactly what to do with the new real estate for the widescreen version?

This was a fact that bounces around in my brain like a DVD screensaver. Hidamari Sketch aired in Japan between January and March 2007 during the DTV transition and they prepared two versions for broadcast, one that was HD 16:9 and one that was SD 4:3. I've heard of things going wrong during this transition like the shot of Mugi getting cropped out in the 4:3 broadcast version of K-On but this time period isn't super well researched in the admittedly small digging I did.

So it makes sense that a studio during this time would make these changes right? Your show is going to appear in two very different formats, you're going to want to make sure it looks fine in both. Anyway I was reading the replies of this post one morning and I read one that gave me pause.

This started me researching the analog to digital transition in Japan which I won't get into here but long story short, yes it did air during the analog to digital transition. There was an analog digital simulcast of both signals in Japan that started in about 2003 and ended in 2012 when all analog transmissions were shut down. So there was a period where broadcasters were putting out both HD 16:9 and SD 4:3 to serve people/areas who had not made the jump to the digital signal.

But it got me thinking, some people in the replies were talking about not being able to find proof that it aired in 4:3. Chances are they just didn't know where to look. Anyway I just looked on nyaa and lo and behold.

So I had the original broadcast versions of season 1 and 2 in 4:3. (i was unsure what the second torrent would be, it didn't have any information in the description and "TV broadcast" could have been the 16:9 broadcast bc there was a simulcast but it was the 4:3 version).

Anyway I was curious if there were any other changes, I kind of doubted that there were since it's already a lot of effort to produce two different versions of scenes but maybe there was something that the person that put together the original comparison missed.

If you, like me, believed the truth of that original post I'm about to tell you Santa Claus is not real. I compared these with the BD and found 2 of the frames from the original post. (the other I presume is from the first episode of season one also). And, they're,,, cropped from the 16:9 version.

In hindsight this makes perfect sense, I know sometimes they will redraw or reanimate certain scenes for the blurays because production is sometimes very fucked and they don't have the time to make things to their usual standards but if you're working for TV schedules why would you give yourself more work to do?

I'm sorry im sure this is interesting only to me but "Shaft redrew the wide character shots for HD during the DTV transition" is something that had the same veracity in my brain as, water is wet and i thought about it about as often. Two things make this very funny.

The image is cropped from what I assume is the original which makes it more obvious that it was a joke.*

the person that made that edit (presumably on 2ch or a/ on 4ch) didn't like, make the entire image 4:3 they popped the background out so it wouldn't appear squished. Which is such an insane effort post that you still see people go, oh yeah no it has to be real no one would go to the effort to do that. (read this post, people go to insane lengths for zero reward all the time)

I cooked up a very quick comparison in photopea to show what I mean. At this point it's trivial to remake the background, it's just a repeating pattern anyway.

*I would love to tell which is older but google recently changed how reverse image search works and it doesn't show you pages with the list of dates of when that page was last crawled so it's a little hard to figure out and I don't want to spend a bunch of time figuring out an alternative. So whoever cropped out the obvious joke part is one of histories greatest pranksters in the relatively small pond of people that give a shit about slice of life anime. tl/dr two people, the person that made the original image and the person that cropped off the obvious joke part have combined their efforts to fully prank me 10 years later and I don't think anyone else I've told about this has felt owned or surprised to the same extent as me so I feel like histories greatest fool here

[aroace-poly-show]

anyway yeah it keeps happening regularly anf im trying to think of ways to . Not circumvent it but minimize it. 6pm when I haven't spam rbed anything that day is appalling.

So firstly I should probably stop doing this thing I do when I hit post limit where I schedule everything to post that midnight I don't think it's helping starting the period off with already having like 30 posts posted beuhddjkgjf

also I'm thinking about Actually utilizing the queue. whether this means I queue my rp responses or my reblogs on my main I'm not sure. the idea is that if I post at regular intervals itll allow me at least less time i have to wait. like if I schedule 5 things across an hour instead of rbing them rapidfire across like 3 minutes then that might be an hour less I have to be jailed LMFAO. I could also instead queue rp responses but that feels like a dick move? idk imagine having to wait 30 whole minutes or something for a response every. single. time. I don't know literally anybody else's stance on that but I feel like it might be rude? but yeah I think um. that might be what the queue was meant for LMAO

SECOND OPTION THOUGH is doing that funky little members thing. I'm thinking about making a second account entirely where I can put all my rp blogs and keep all the blogs I already had here. like I'd make a second account and add that second account as a member on all my rp blogs, then remove my main account from them all. Or I might be able to keep them and just use the second account as post limit backup? Idrk how that works but I think it might, i don't like having to constantly log in and out of accounts especially not with something as fast paced as this rp so it might be nice if I could just have that as backup

i don know. just brainstorming

the queue idea makes sense!! maybe you can add any drafts you make while on post limit to your queue? the members for your rp blogs thing would also work!! you can just add the second blog and use it as a backup, it doesn’t matter how many posts you do from your main on the rp blogs, it doesn’t carry over to the second account as far as i’m aware. fair warning though i think it fucks with your notifications? at least for me, for both of my blogs that i have more than one member in won’t like. let me know of any activity on it for a few days i think? like. on my art blog since i have my backup account attached, the little alert with the number of notifs won’t pop up for a few days. so you might have to check your activity page for the blogs a bit more to make sure you don’t miss anything. might just be me though. idk.

[onlyswan]

Hiii Art!! How have you been and how's your work/studies whatever it is that you do. Good? Eh? Well mine's kinda on a dry and wet mode rn lol.

Mind if I rant here?

I have 2wk worth of exams coming up and I have no motivation to study. I honestly regret taking up the course im studying for. I mainly took it up because its lucrative and helpful in today's economy. But honestly I should have just pursued 14yo Lyfie's dream to become a nurse. It wouldve been so much more rewarding🥲🥲🥲.

Anyways despite that im just praying my gpa doesnt go down the drain, and im gulity right now because i wasted the whole day doing nothimg even though i told myself to go study. I couldnt do it. I just......well i knew what i was doing was bad but everytime i looked at my notes i felt as if i knew them all, and in the end achieved nothing. Sigh i hate myself for how repetitve this unhealthy cycle has become. Parental pressure isnt helping either. I try ranting and they say its just momentary tiredness and it would go away soon and then further guilt me into wasting time :((((.

Wow that became long. Im so sorry for litterally trauma dumping on you, especially if tou had a long day. It would be the last thing you'd wanna worry about 😂😂😂

Anyways i wanted to ask you about your writing, both as a fellow fic author and as loyal reader of yours. What inspires you to write?

(I.e set time aside to write your fics and even feel motivated to open up that document? I have so many plot bunnies, headcanons and fic ideas, but no matter how enticing, everytime i try opening up my google docs, that burst of excited energy saps away. Urgh its so frustrating!!😠)

And for your fics, we had possible teases of engagement btwn jk and oc and even f2l hopelessly pining jk and oc. So i was wondering will we ever get a confession scene 👀👀👀?

I rmbr when jk ssid somewhr in an interview where he would love to lift his partner up and kiss them and my mind went str to the in which couple lol knowing your writing and since its jk its gonna be so cute cheesy and gonna involve tears 😇.

Funny enough i also know that both oc and jk are heavy on respecting e/o be it space or privacy, and when i heard Twice MISAMO's Do Not Touch song which was about consent and it was potryaed beautifully compared to art masterpeices, it got me thinking about their initial stages of skin ship or how they got comfortable around e/o physically or even their first time. Idk im just so invested in this universe lol 😭😂

Hmmm, but thats it for now. I'll reach out to you soon!!! :D

-Lyf

hiii lyf <3 work is draining and some customers are rude but my co-workers are fun to be with so it’s alright 🥲 uni also started this week and it’s nerve wracking but also soooo exciting !! i’m just gonna need some time to adjust to this new life + schedule 😬

i’m so sorry to hear that beloved :( i’m sure with the given the circumstances that you chose what you thought would be best for you at that time and i think it’s important that you recognize that too !! 🫂 and yesyes studying is so freaking difficult especially when you don’t feel motivated >:( for me personally time management has been pretty helpful. i love schedules ^^ sometimes i do house chores first to get my brain into work mode too and i give myself little rewards during break times (which are sooo important) or after studying hehe like snacks or screen time !! please look after yourself and your health. 🥺

dw i’m mostly fine with you guys ranting about stuff like school !! because same !! but i’m just putting it out there that when it’s abt triggering stuff i have to restrain myself 🥲 i don’t reply to those because it really affects me badly mentally too :(

hmmm when it comes to inspiration to write 🤔 like i said i do love schedules hehe i open a draft every night before bed + in my notes i also save words/phrases/scenarios that pop in my mind throughout the day but couldn’t write yet :D but i don’t really get to write everyday bcs i’m too tired or nothing just comes out. sometimes i only write one sentence or one paragraph then pass out lol. on a good day i finish one scene and maybe start writing the next too !! a jungkook weverse live will always 100% give me a big rush of motivation tho 🤭

and i doooo want to explore the earlier stages of oc and jungkook’s relationship 🥹🥹🥹 i have many many plans !! but i just want them to be perfect so it might take me a while </3 this is still a long journey if y’all are up for it hehe thank you so much for being invested in our little iw universe !! 🥰 it truly means the world to me that i get to enjoy my passion like this :") ilysm lyf 🫂

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 We are finally at 4x11!! I’m sorry that I’m only now back in your inbox but unfortunately i am on a straight mans schedule lol. He also had a few rough days with his recovery this week so he’s just now getting back to his normal self (no joke, the doctor actually said to him ‘i can tell youre not okay because you haven’t said anything about that guy yet.’ So im glad to know that’s the way to test him now) and because he’s been feeling like shit until today, he was rewatching old episodes to feel “comfort”. Anyway: The episode starts with Drew refusing to do the shoot ‘ohhhh Brian looks good. I forgot about the early 2000s and everyone wearing popped collars that was fun, i should bring that back. so Drew is being a little bitch? Imagine telling Brian that youre shy in just your underwear. (The scene cuts to everyone in their underwear and the man is dying out of laugher) this is something only Brian would come up with. I fucking love this. Only Brian Kinney’ ‘I don’t know how I feel about Emmett and Drew. I hate the idea of Emy being kept a secret. My baby deserves better’ Lindsay and Sam just came on tv ‘FUCK NO! I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHIT. Can he fuck off and can she…i dont know do something else besides piss me off?’ The whole time he’s watching the Linds/Sam scene with a grossed out expression on his face. Like he smelled something really bad. And we are at the Linds and Brian scene ‘shes CRYING ABOUT IT TO BRIAN?! It makes no sense and it makes all the sense but its funny because she also judges Brian at times. THEY FUCKED?! Why would Brian ever fuck her? Or any woman? Is that why she has such a weird crush on him? Are they learning about bisexuality? (brian says that one line) wait what? What do you mean not at the same time? I thought thats the whole bi schtick’ ‘michael as a dad is actually fun. I like him like this. HUNTER IS DATING?! Oh my god! Who’s the lucky guy? HUNTER HAS A BOYFRIEND’ and we are at the scene where Em and Deb go to the ball ‘ohhhhh girl you look beautiful! Carl, come on dump that girl and go back to Debbie! Now I want them back’ ‘Why are there bikes all over the club? What the fuck is going on? What the fuck is Liberty Ride? JUSTIN SHOWED HIS DICK FOR A THOUSAND DOLLARS! THIS IS THE MAN I LOVE! Why are Melanie and Ben always in the center of events and being in charge? Whats up with that? *looks at me all happily* this one time i got a medal for participating in a marathon because i accidentally joined them when i missed my path. So i could totally do this ride. THERES BRIAN! Ha, Brian hates this charity money dude. So does he hate anyone that thinks theyre better than him OR can he read people really well (Melanie comes up to ask if Brian is bothering that guy) can she fuck off? This is the type of shit that pisses me the fuck off about her.’ THE HUNTER BEING WITH A GIRL SCENE IS UP!!!! ‘Is that hunter? GET IT BOY! Finally he is being a teenager and making out with boys in a car safely for free…*said in a most shocking voice ever* GIRLS?! SHES A GIRLS?! Isnt he gay? Wait what? Is he bi? Is it a parallel with Lindsay like they both figure out theyre bi? (The girls says shes given blowjob twice) you cant tell me that a part of him isn’t fighting the urge to offer tips’ *pauses tv just as Mel and Linds are on screen* ‘ugh. Hey, how come Justin never worked with Lindsay at the gallery? Wouldn’t that make sense? Like him getting a job at a gallery would be fun. Basically what I’m saying is throw this whole Lindsay and that creep storyline away and give me Blondie making art’ ‘ITS BRIAN! He looks much more healthier. Looks like the radiation stopped kicking his ass or did they forget about that plot? *leans back and puts his hands behind his head* Brian IS thee most successful gay business man. Oh this dude really wants money. I don’t trust him. *looks at me* and yes, it is because Brian doesn’t trust him. Fuck this guy, he has no clue who he’s fucking with. DESTROY HIM BRIAN’

I’m sorry to hear he’s not been doing well! Watching comfort episodes of a show is legit a fan response to feeling under the weather.

Brian coming up with everyone being in the underwear is 100% hilarious and also something that would not ever happen today. Can you imagine, in 2023, the Me Too response to that scene?

“I hate the idea of Emy being kept a secret” I think he’s going to appreciate that Peter is gay.

Also, ughhhh that scene “not at the same time” like bisexuality exists and the biphobia on this show is so strong that rather than have Lindsay be bi, they turned her into a terrible person.

HA! And Hunter could have been bi too. There could have been an entire bisexuality story arc involving Lindsay and Hunter but the writers were cowards. Maybe he can write a fanfic about it!

He will get his way in S5 when Justin has a show at Lindsay’s gallery… and maybe he will wish he never asked about Justin being involved with Lindsay’s gallery. That turtleneck gives me violinist flashbacks.

I love the JUSTIN SHOWED HIS DICK FOR A THOUSAND DOLLARS, THIS IS THE MAN THAT I LOVE. And DESTROY HIM BRIAN.

[altamente-inflamavel]

lil ranty ramble bc no one follows me and i want to say shit into the void also if someone read all of this let me know if i forgot any tws in the tags

ive been more stressed than ever with college + working 2 freelance jobs (theyre freelance but i have a steady amount of work in both, so no fixed schedule just a billion deadlines which makes me want to rip my scalp off)

i know im really stressed out when the palms of my hands start to kinda peel off. some lil blisters appear, the next day they pop and just become peeling skin. its kinda satistying to peel the skin so i dont use moisturizer or anything, i just have fun with it, but anyway the point is: built up stress

i have a really hard time dealing with stress and anxiety (by which i mean anxiety inducing situations, im not diagnosed with anxiety) because they put me in a kinda self destructive mood. not like in a self harm way, just drinking too much, hooking up with strangers (which is not a bad thing, just not my thing. ive used it as a kind of escape before), sometimes just sleeping so i dont have to deal with anything.

so thats where im at.

i have a birthday to go to today but my back hurts from working on my computer all day but also i wanna make terrible decisions and this would be a great opportunity. also my ex and his current girlfriend will be there so thats great

which brings me to lil ranty ramble part II: 2 ranty 2 rambly

i feel SO ALONE even though i know i have lots of friends, some truly are like family to me but i just dont feel like i fully trust anyone so i dont open up i dont talk about my problems or how im feeling or anything i just make jokes and im funny and silly and giggly. and i love being funny its what i like the most about myself (along with my boobs) but like oh my god how can you be friends with a person you know nothing about

i know thats not 100% true they know me and have been with me through some of the worst moments of my life and they still love me and blablabla i was diagnosed with depression like 8 years ago i know how this goes

but ya know what they say it do be like that sometimes (and it sucks

but yeah i guess thats what going on up in the cuckoo's nest haha lol

if anyone read this, thank you for being here