#anyways idk if anyone saw this but like two weeks ago I posted this drawing except it was my oc Gabriel
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You know what? Fuck you *hits Father Ardelian with the shoujo filter and babygirlifies your priest*
@stjohnstarling
#wmom#father ardelian#victor ardelian#Victor wmom.. my favorite blonde tortured white boy turned babygirl.. I love u#what manner of man#tbh this is not my best work but I am working under trying conditions ok (iPad is dying on me and is determined to quit me out of procreate#5 times while working on this đ#I was less worried abt proportions and such and more concerned with the fact that my iPad is a sickly victorian#child and keeps rejecting my gentle coaxing and attempts to clear storage on it and trying to make sure#it doesnât corrupt any of my projects#anyways idk if anyone saw this but like two weeks ago I posted this drawing except it was my oc Gabriel#the Hans of the southern isles lookin guy#I decided to redraw this (aka make some minimal changes) to make it Victor#so if anyone saw this same drawing but a redhead w glasses⌠no u didnât <3#priest tag#My art#art#priest art#Sorry to tag u St. John#I know you probably like seeing stuff about your oc but like. Every time I do it feel like Iâm gonna explode#like please donât hate me. But I drew your guy. please accept my humble drawing. Sorry to bug you but here he is#anyways uh I hope someone likes my pink girlypop priest drawing. Happy pride you little freaks <3 (affectionate) (Iâm freaks)
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To Blog or Not to Blog?
âYou should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.â
Honestly? If thereâs one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, itâs that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I donât want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself.Â
(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)
Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, itâs time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully âAcross The Universeâ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs thatâll make my hair fall out.Â
Wait, what?
Voice Over: âYep. Thatâs me. Youâre probably wondering what I am doing hereâŚâ //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//
Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, Iâd opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there.Â
Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.
But this time - my hand actually found something.
I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do).Â
Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went âWHAT THE--!â And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before.Â
Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.
After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas.Â
But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasnât poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. Iâd be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldnât wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.
My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! Itâs the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: âI will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.â Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.
Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasnât. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.
While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was:Â
â.............of courseâ.Â
Didnât hear much of what she said afterwards.
Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made.Â
Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - âpulling an Angelina Jolieâ, ânot saving the tatasâ, insert âThink About It memeâ...canât have breast cancer if you donât have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***).Â
Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual âcrazy hair cutting partyâ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and âgoing outâ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk).Â
I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannonâs last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: âof course...when elseâ) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.
What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.
More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to Itâs Getting Better.
*also for the record I would like to state that Iâve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?
** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)
***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though itâs rare) so this meme doesnât really hold up, but thatâs the whole point of the meme ;)
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are you still taking prompts. if yes can u do 48 for sarawatine (is that their ship name idk) please with a nice cherry red sweet cherry (or a pic of ur fav ship) on top
Yesss. Thank you so much for the prompt! I love them so much. Theyâre cute. Iâm sorry this is so late. I had intended to have these up days ago. But letâs do this. [ Prompt Post ]
48. âWhy are you crying?â
WC: 692
The light flickering on the television made the tear tracks on Tineâs face visible in a way they might not have been in the dim lighting of the room. It made Sarawatâs brows raise slightly as he studied his boyfriendâs face for a few seconds. âWhy are you crying?â Sarawat asked with a chuckle, nudging Tine with his elbow.
Tine huffed and hid his face against the top of Sarawatâs shoulder to hide the fact that he was, indeed, crying. âWhy did you pick this dumb show?â asked Tine, though his words were muffled from how his face was pressed into Sarawatâs shoulder. It wasnât a dumb show. Tine enjoyed it more than Sarawat did, but Sarawat watched it every week because he knew that Tine enjoyed it.
Which was why he laughed at Tineâs question. âI picked it? Really?â Tine just nodded and turned his head so that he could look at the television again. Sarawat sighed at the response with a shake of his head. But he moved so that he could wrap his arms around Tineâs shoulders and draw Tine into his side more. Tine made himself comfortable curled up against Sarawatâs side as they watched the rest of the episode. Sarawat had a small smile on his face the entire time despite the emotional scenes playing on the television. He wasnât really paying much attention. He was focused more on the way that Tine clung to him and how his boyfriend had gotten so emotionally invested in a show that he insisted he hadnât chosen to watch in the first place. It was cute - he was cute. Sarawat was once again reminded just how much he adored Tine, and why he loved his boyfriend.
It wasnât just the energy and excitement heâd seen at the concert, it was the complete way that Tine wore his heart on his sleeve. He was open and honest, and he fiercely felt any emotion he felt at all. Sarawat would always be in awe of him for that reason. When the episode was over, Sarawat leaned away and reached up with a hand to wipe away the lingering tear marks on Tineâs face. Tine complained and tried to move away, but he didnât move too far. He still wasnât used to the various ways that Sarawat would look after him and take care of him - he was used to being the only one to take care of his partner. Letting Sarawat do so was a learning curve, but he would like to think that he had done well with it. âWhy donât you put on some music to listen to and then we can make your favorite for dinner?â Sarawat suggested. He smiled when Tine gave him a slow nod in response, the expression on his face seeming a little dazed. Sarawat then pressed a kiss to Tineâs cheek before he stood up so that he could head into the kitchen and pull out the things they needed to do that.
Tine sat on the couch a few moments longer before he got up and found a CD to put into the player that they would both enjoy. He played it loudly enough that they could hear it in the kitchen, but quietly enough that they wouldnât have to yell or struggle to hear over it - and the neighbors wouldnât complain about them playing music too loudly. Then, the two of them worked together to put together Tineâs favorite dinner. He had a smile on his face the entire time, even if Sarawat periodically teased him about having cried due to the show they had been watching. âYou canât tell anyone,â Tine insisted.
âBut it was cute. Youâre cute,â said Sarawat in response. He knew he would probably end up telling Boss and Man when he saw them next. Even after he and Tine had gotten together again and Tine had moved back in with him, Sarawat had never stopped telling his friends how wonderful Tine was and just what about him was so amazing. He didnât care if they didnât quite agree with him. He just wanted them to know anyway.
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Survey #226
âi couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.â
So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance youâve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someoneâs face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. Whatâs a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. Whatâs an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. Whatâs something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Whoâs the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. Whatâs the most shocking thing thatâs occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. Howâs the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." Whatâs the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if youâre not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. Whatâs a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. Whenâs the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. Whatâs the most romantic gift anyoneâs given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch Americaâs Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctorâs appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like youâve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish theyâd die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dadâs eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things youâve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesnât exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place youâve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. Whatâs the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing youâve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. Whatâs something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what theyâve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. Whatâs the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. Whatâs the most interesting piece of art youâve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. Whatâs worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but canât afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people havenât heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A Whatâs something youâve been meaning to try but just havenât gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someoneâs life? No. Whatâs the hardest lesson youâve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. Whatâs something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment youâve received? Idk. Whatâs the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.
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Keith "I never asked to be the leader!" with Lance saying "Well too bad because idk if you noticed but there are more people than just you!" Keith getting emotional and everyone getting on Lance for that? I'm sorry i love Klangst >~
Hope you like it, thanks for the prompt â¤
Ao3
This is post S2 for obvious reasons :)
ââ
Keith was used to people abandoning him by this point, but the same person twice in a row was just a cruel joke from the universe.
His relationship with lance was thriving but the sense of familial closeness lacked in an unbearable way without Shiro. He was the closest thing he had to an older brother or even a father. He mentored him for years, taking him under his wing in the journey that is⌠life.
Finding him all those months ago in Garrisonâs captivity after he crash-landed was a saving grace for the orphan boy. That small shred of familiarity he was given back subconsciously saved his life and kept him from falling apart after they were blasted off into space. A shred he lost again.
His and Lanceâs relationship was still in its honeymoon phase when it all happened. That phase where you lay next to each other and whisper sweet nothings to remind each other that you are both here and that this tender moment was actually happening. Shiroâs disappearance ruined all that for Keith. He couldnât afford to lie down, to not do anything that could get him closer to the Black Paladin.
Shiro said to take the lead if something was to happen to him but he couldnât help but feel like he made a mistake trusting Keith with all of this. After the whole thing with the Black Lion, he had two paladins with new Lions and another two that didnât know the first thing about combat. Keith was in over his head.
The new Black paladin spoke with Coran to give him the training records of the Paladins of Old to try it with the team. He set the training deck to the required settings and started the workout. Allura was to go first followed by Hunk then Pidge and ending with Lance. Each of their strengths and weaknesses were taken into consideration and Keith couldnât help but feel slight pride in his work.
Overworking himself was his coping mechanism, he already knew it was bad but he couldnât think about that right now. He did it back on earth when Shiro first disappeared with the weird energy and drawings in the cave, which later turned out to be super important and now he was doing it again with training exercises and trying to move forward.
He hadnât seen much of the team outside of training due to him holing himself in the gym or the training deck. Keith needed to be better for the sake of the team, for the sake of finding Shiro again and for the sake of distracting himself, something not even Lance had been able to do⌠He just thought about it too much and he needed that intoxicating rush of adrenaline.
By the end of the first week of their new training schedule Hunk seemed like he had dead weights on his punches while he dodged the oncoming punches clumsily instead of the usual calculated precision. Alluraâs moves were sluggish and too slow which was shocking considering she was their best fighter.
Lance was slightly better aiming/shooting wise but horrible in hand-to-hand combat, a note Keith didnât spare from Lance as he kept repeating it all throughout his turn to remind him to get better. But the ex-Blue Paladin barely entered the training deck to train and it was showing in his hand-to-hand combat, being the only trope he was lacking in.
Todayâs training was going fine. Everyone was doing their parts and Keith was giving pointers like he usually did, Coran was at the controls and whoever finished or were waiting for their designated session were doing light cardio on the sides.
By the time it was Pidgeâs turn Keith was running out of temper to spare.
âPidge! Itâs like you are not even trying. You donât duck the minute you think there might be a punch, you try to counter it.â Keith said in a rather stern way, but it was all for good reason. âDo what Iâve been telling you for the past week: Use. Your. Size.â
He walked closer to the bot and demonstrated the move he wanted and how he wanted it. He needed her to be ready for anything, why canât she see that?
âHey man, we get what you want but can you just calm down for a sec?â Hunk surprisingly said. He was wearing a training shirt with what looked like basketball shorts, and was also sweating buckets. His training today was weights and Keith tried to get him to push his body limits as much as possible for a better result. âShe is trying to do what you are saying, canât you see that?â
âNot really. All I see is weakness that could be exploited by our enemies in times of actual battle. She is already the smallest Paladin she canât afford to be the weakest one too. She wonât make it.â
âWhat the hell DID YOU JUST SAY!?â A voice boomed from across the training deck. Lance came charging at him with inhuman speed, the sweat and flush on his face making him look scarier than usual. The fire in his eyes burned brighter than Keith had ever seen.
âI didnât mean it in a bad way, Lance.â He visibly sighed and made eye contact with Lance, regretting it almost immediately but held it for a few more minutes anyways. âAll I am saying is that she needs to train more. You all do!â
âBut we are training.â Hunk voiced out. Lance was fuming and looked like he had a lot to say but kept it in for everyoneâs sake. Keith didnât understand the reactions he was receiving; he was doing this for them all get better. This was war, not a playground fight.
âNot nearly well enough.â Keith shrugged. âYour level is close to pathetic and we all wonât survive the next battle at this rate.â
âFuck you Keith we are all tired here, look around you we are all working our asses offâ Lance threw his arms up dramatically.
âNot you.â
Pin drop silence.
And it may have been the fact that he didnât expect this person to ever do this to any member of his team or the fact that his brain was racing too much to comprehend reality but the next thing Keith knew he was on the floor and his nose was dripping blood from the force of being decked in the face by Lance.
âWe are all tired and worn out.â Hunk said. He had a hand on Lanceâs shoulder, probably to keep him in check. âWe have been training non-stop for the past week while dealing with a lot of issues on our own. Donât think for one second you are the only one here who has been overworking themselves.â
Keith turned to the Yellow Paladin and stared. âI know that, I just think that right now the most important thing for us to do is to train. I am the leader according to Shiro and this is what I think is best.â
âWhat you think is best?! Right, so because Shirochose you based on his biased judgment we are supposed to follow your lead toour deaths?â Lance narrowed his eyes, holding eye contact with determination. Keithdidnât understand where all this was coming from. âYou do get that with how weare training, we wonât need to go to battle to die. You will do so during thesetraining sessions.â
âI never asked to take over as the leader, you know!!âKeith yelled at Lance. âIt was Shiroâs decision and heâs GONE! All I am doingis respecting his wishes and doing what I think is best for the team. We needto train.â
â-We are not all YOU, KEITH! WE DONâT TRAIN LIKE COLD-HEARTED SOLDIERS!â he took a deep breath before composing himself. âI donâtknow if you noticed but there are more people than just you on this team.Shiroâs disappearance hit all of us. Maybe you more than the rest but we areall hurting after losing a friend. Open your damn eyes and look around you! Dios,we are your teammates, your friends, not your pet soldiers. Todayâs session isdone.â He turned and left with that.
Their relationship was a secret. They didnât have their friendâs expectations hanging over their necks on how they should treat each other, in private or in public. These new developments after the battle against Zarkon wasnât really discussed by the lovers, both were choosing to focus on other matters. Keith didnât tell Lance but it left a sour taste in his mouth thinking the Blue Paladin didnât take all of this seriously, despite Lance making his insecurities pretty clear after their first few nights spent together, that he doesnât want to disappoint anyone.
But at this moment, he wished they told the team of their new found closeness so Hunk or Pidge could punch Keith for what just happened.
Lance understood stress. He had anxiety for fuckâs sake.
What Keith was displaying, though, was getting out of hand on so many levels; it didnât just affect him, it affected the whole team. He stalked Keith in the training room and saw his hopeless haunting look when he thought no one was watching. The small tremors that overtook his body when he overthought about a certain plan or when someone fucked up a training session; Keith was terrified that whatever happened to Shiro would happen to one of them too.
But what Keith failed to see was that everyone else was terrified too.
Lance had spent the better half of his time making sure everyone was healthy. Pidge over worked herself to an extent that he knew she wonât sleep if not reminded so he took her laptop from her when it was time for bed. He had his fair share of run-ins with the other paladins at night after being woken by a nightmare, another reason why he didnât sleep in the first place, so to say the least: he saw first-hand how much everyone was suffering.
Hunk baked every possible recipe he could remember from earth while helping Coran fix a million things around the castle. Both males ran around all day trying to keep themselves busy by any means necessary with Lance going after them trying to get them to eat, drink and sleep. Alluraâs situation was a bit tricky because she didnât take him as seriously as the others, at first, so he had to get creative with getting her to take care of herself. And it all worked.
Taking care of everyone was so much work that he knew he was forgetting himself but the smile he would sometimes receive from Pidge when she wakes up from a long uninterrupted nap or from Hunk when he talks and lets out everything bothering him and Lance listens to him or from Allura when he helps her after reaching a supposedly dead-end in her planning by giving her a fresh point of view on things was way more than worth it in his books.
After leaving the training deck he goes to the Red Hanger to seek some comfort, he wouldâve gone to Blue but Lance wasnât over the rejection yet. As he reached the hanger door, he tiptoed to the Lionâs jaw to get into the cockpit but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned to find Coran smiling sadly at Lance.
âHow are you, my boy?â
âIâm okay, Coran, just tired from training.â
âYou know that we appreciate all that youâve been doing to us these past few days.â Lance looked at Coran and found sincerity but he couldnât get himself to believe him. Not completely.
âKeith seems to think otherwise.â
âYou donât know that, lad. He is just tired.â
Lance gave him a confirmation hum before he turned to leave, the hanger suddenly a few degrees colder than before. Exhaustion seeping into his soul more by the second; he was so tired. His vision started blurring the minute he caught sight of his bed. He locked the door, took off his training clothes and got under the covers and let the world turn black without interruption.
Coran walked into the training deck ready to kill someone and Keith almost had an idea why.
âI will make it up to everyone later.â He grumbled as he punched another bot, killing it in an instant.
âYou will make it up to Lance this very second.â Coranâs gentle tone discarded for a hostile one that sent shivers down Keith back. Coran stalked up to him and stood mere inches away from his face while jabbing a finger in his chest. âYou have no idea what that boy has been doing to everyone here and you need to start taking notes.â He said with a final jab and left.
What Lance has been doing?
Keith hasnât seen much of Lance, but then again he hasnât seen much of anyone. Pidge was always on her laptop while Hunk was always in the Kitchen. He helped Allura sometimes with strategy but didnât talk to her otherwise. And Coran was CoranâŚ
He ended the simulation and walked out the deck determine to find answers. He passed the kitchen and heard a voice that he later identified as Pidge.
â-too tired.â She finished.
âYeah⌠those eyes bags are getting worse. We need to help him find himself again.â Allura conversed. He didnât know the girls talked outside of missions, let alone about other members. He always assumed everyone was busy doing their own things between missions, like he did. âKeith had no right to disregard his hard work like this.â
Hard work?
âYeah heâs been too down lately and heâs not talking to anyone about it.â Hunk was there too? The ringing sound of a tray set on the table. âHe doesnât come to me anymore, he hasnât in a while but before it wasnât as serious now.â
âWasnât he close to Keith before this?â Allura asked. âI thought they were finally getting along.â
âYeah, me too.â Pidge answered.
Keith couldnât listen to any more of this. He walked to his room, closed the door and trailed down to the floor with his head on his knees. Hot shame and guilt washed over him as he thought about of Lance. The others even noticed how close they were, he knew they didnât hide it well but he didnât think they would notice it to the extent of noting the difference.
He thought of every night he went to train and how the light of the lounge was always on. He assumed it was Pidge or Hunk as Lance took his sleep religiously but he was starting to doubt all his beliefs when it comes to the ex-Blue Paladin these days.
He looked around his room and saw random garments that didnât belong to him. A shirt here and there, a pair of pants and some socks. He never realised how much he missed Lance and how much the Cuban softened him up that he without him there to go to bed with, he was beginning to suffocate. Lance has been hurting too but, unlike Keith, he was putting all that aside and helping the others.
Keith missed Shiroâs presence immensely at the very moment hating the responsibility he thrusted on his shoulders. He had finally found someone who would like him for who he was⌠flaws and all. And he ruined it by being a self-absorbed prick. He thought of what Shiro would say at a situation like this and came up blank.
Keith needed to fix this on his own.
Lance heard a knock on his door, yanking him out of dreamless sleep.
He opened the door finding a glass jar at the foot of the door. Lance bent down and lifted it to his face and stared. It was filled with little pieces of paper, all different colours. He opened the lid and took one of the pieces out and read whatâs on it.
You make me a better person.
He tried thinking of everyoneâs handwriting and couldnât think of anyoneâs that could match the one on the paper. He blamed it on the fact that no one writes anymore when you can easily type it out.
He took another one.
I appreciate everything you do for this team.
Red couldnât have chosen a better Paladin
The fourth one however gave him a clue as to who his mystery person was.
You remind me Iâm still human.
Lance thought of a conversation he had with Keith after they returned from the first time they had reached out for the Blade and it ended with Lance comforting a sobbing Keith. He was terrified of being Galra that he opened up for the first time ever about his past and how much Shiro meant to him and how he didnât want to scare Shiro after what he went through at the hands of Galra. It took Lance literal hours to calm him down and get him to sleep that night. It was also the first time they ever slept together.
A small smile made its way to his lips as he took another paper.
You are all the better parts of myself.
He knew Keith was apologizing to what happened but he also knew that if he went to him right now he couldnât trust his mind to make the right decision, words wise. He went back to bed with the jar in his hand and went through every single one of the papers, his smile growing more by the second. He really liked Keith and he was going to make sure that that boy knows when to relax.
I havenât had motivation to write for a while⌠Finally got some clarity of mind and decided to do this prompt that i got months ago.
Hope you guys liked it! And i am so sorry if this is shit...
#post-season 2#langst#klangst#voltron#klance#lance mcclain#keith kogane#keith angst#kangst#vld#my prompts#lance angst
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HI! Iâm putting all of the things iâve been tagged in from the past couple of weeks that i havenât answered yet bc iâm working hard on an admission portfolio for university and i really want to get into Sheridan, so yep lots of work and lots of art. i am also working on the HTTYD fandom reading (please sign up) and the next chapters of JâImagine and No Cannon Shall Sink This Ship. Anyways, onto the tagged:Â
get to know me meme: tagged by @animalsarepeople2â thank youuuu!Â
nicknames: Kei / Keiko *i explain this in a question down there somewhereÂ
Gender: FemaleÂ
Star Sign: Libra
MBTI Type: INFJÂ
Height: 163cmÂ
Time: 17:07 (by the time I finished all of these itâs 18:36)Â
Birthday: February 25Â
Favourite Bands: Beatles, Young Rising Sons, Clean Bandits, Lovelyz, InfiniteÂ
Favourite Solo Artists: Ailee, Ed SheeranÂ
Song Stuck in My Head: 1cm by LovelyzÂ
Last Movie Watched: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp
Last Show Watched: I just binge watched Stranger ThingsÂ
When I created my blog: July 15, 2013/June 27, 2017
What I post about: httyd, animated movies, animation
Last thing I Googled: information about Sheridan and character rotationÂ
Other blogs I have: my main blog @tokkeiko
Following: 100, though I want to find more good blogs, any recs anyone?Â
Followers: in total from both blogs, 200 or somethingÂ
Favourite colour: GreenÂ
Average hours of sleep: 8-ishÂ
Lucky number: 7
Instruments: piano, oboeÂ
What Iâm wearing: jeans and my current favourite sweater which is grey with gold spotsÂ
Number of blankets: I need to remember to find another one bc my room is freezing when I wake up in the morning
Dream Job: story artist at DisneyÂ
Dream trip: i just want to get out of my city rnÂ
Favourite food: iâm just hungry rn, give me anything, but favourite food, among others, is salted caramel truffle blizzard from the good old DQ (#lovemydq)Â
Music ask, tagged by @yv-sketches THANKS!!!!Â
10 songs that you are listening to right now;Â
my current favourite playlist is called Shut Up and Dance:
âElle Me Ditâ MikaÂ
âRed Balloonâ Charli XCXÂ
âDancing in the Darkâ RihannaÂ
âShut Up and Danceâ Walk the Moon
âRed and Goldâ Young Rising SonsÂ
âCanât Stop the Feelingâ Justin TimberlakeÂ
âBetter When Iâm Dancingâ Meghan TrainorÂ
âI Bet My Lifeâ Imagine DragonsÂ
âInto a Fantasyâ Alexander RybakÂ
âGet Back Up Againâ Anna Kendrick
Tag Game, taggged by @thepurplewriter333 ty friend-o!Â
Nicknames: Keiko/Kei/Spirit/Sweet PotatoÂ
Gender: Female
Star Sign; PiscesÂ
Height: 163cmÂ
Sexuality: probably straightÂ
Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!!!
Favourite animals: uhhhh... orcas probablyÂ
Average hours spent sleeping: 8 i think, iâm not bothering with math rnÂ
Dogs or cats: KITTY, all of my sibilings have a significant other and all of their significant othersâ have cats and why canât I have a s/o with a cat???
number of blankets sleeping: during the winter, aka now already, twoÂ
Dream trip: geeeeetttt meeeee ouuuuttt offf thissss citttyyyyy
Dream job: Story artist at DisneyÂ
when I made this account: June 27. 2017
why I made this account: bc i wanted a place to reblog all of the httyd stuff without loosing followers on my other blogÂ
# of followers: like 47, I think? I recently got more. follow me i am cool personÂ
92 statements, tagged by @thepurplewriter333 thanks for the double tag!Â
Last:Â
Drink: Tim Hortonsâ Double Double (got to stay caffeinatedddddddd)Â
 Phone Call: Home to get a ride homeÂ
Text message: Friend to go hang out later
Song You Listened To: Shooting Star by Lovelyz
Time You Cried: uhhhhhhhh... oh, like a month ago, it was a bad week and then I watched Home and my emotions were already out of wack so I basically sobbed near the endÂ
Have you:Â
Dated someone twice: NopeÂ
Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope, iâm boring
Been cheated on: nopeÂ
Lost someone special: nopeÂ
Been depressed: i feel like itâs hard to be a university student and not get depressedÂ
Gotten drunk and thrown up: i am a boring party person and yeah, no i havenâtÂ
List 3 favourite colours:Â
Green
BlueÂ
GoldÂ
In the last year have you:Â
made new friends: Yeahhhh
fallen out of love: nopppeee...?
Laughed until you cried: like every other day
Found someone was talking about you: in a good way; nope. In a bad way: yeah too many times
found out who your friends are: yeahhhhhh
kissed someone on your FB list: okay someday, iâll have more interesting answersÂ
General:Â
how many FB friends do you know IRL: 99% of themÂ
Do you have any pets: nopeÂ
Do you want to change your name: i recently thought about dropping my middle name, but like it has significance to my parents so probably wonât happen and my middle name doesnât do anything so idkÂ
what did you do for your last birthday: Keep in mind that I turned 18: my friends and I went to Build-A-Bear and they got me a Build-A-Bear Toothless.Â
What time do you wake up: my alarms on early days are 7:00, 7:05, 7:15, 7:25, 7:35, 7:45, 8:00. I naturally wake up at 9-ishÂ
What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping :DÂ
Name something you canât wait for: to (hopefully) get accepted into Sheridan and start a new adventure out there.
When was the last time you saw your mom: sheâs in the kitchen with meÂ
what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish that I couldâve figured out what I wanted to do with life so that I couldâve started Sheridan this yearÂ
What are you listening to right now: Sheridan portfolio reviews, tips, etc. (Starting to see a pattern here?)Â
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: friendâs dad. heâs a cool dad.Â
Something that is getting on your nerves: when people are packing up their stuff before the professor is finished talking in the last 5 minutes of class. URGH stop moving ppl this stuff is importantÂ
Most visited website: FB, YT, tumblrÂ
Mole(s): couple
Mark(s): I have freckles (might be moles) on each cheek under both eyes.Â
Childhood dream: when youâre a kid, youâre really only exposed to teacher, doctor, police man and whatever your parents are. I think I defaulted to an artist when adults asked.Â
Hair colour: black, I have silver hairs though, they stick out on the black hair a lotÂ
long or short hair: I always grow my hair out and then cut off 12 inches to donate to cancer wigs Â
Do you have a crush on someone: not currently, though i had a crush on a guy for like 5 years, so even now, 5 years later, I get happy when I think about himÂ
Piercings: no, i really think a conch piercing would be nice thoughÂ
Blood type: ... A I think, iâve never gotten tested, but according to genetics, I should be an AÂ
Nicknames: my full name is Keiko, but everyone called me Kei as a kid, but during high school, I started introducing myself as Keiko, so some people call me Kei, some people call me Keiko, one of them is a nickname, depending on which way you think about it,Â
Relationship Status: Egg salad.Â
Zodiac: PiscesÂ
Pronouns: She/her
Favourite TV show: FriendsÂ
Right or left handed: Right, but recently Iâve been trying to teach myself to draw with my left handÂ
Surgery: Wisdom teethÂ
Hair dyed a different colour: nope, but I think I might try a ombre some dayÂ
Sports: ballet since I was 4ish, ballet is a sport, come fight me on it if you dareÂ
Vacation: a lot of camping when I was younger, Iâve been to Japan twice, and then places across Canada
Pair of trainers: are we talking about trainers as in shoes? bc then ankle high all black vans.Â
More General:Â
Eating: this is taking so long I stopped and had supper between these sections
Drinking: Double Double (Timâs coffee, two creams, two sugars), gotta stay AWaaaaaaaaaaKE
Iâm about to: draw character designs or go out to coffee shop to study with friendsÂ
Want: to get into Sheridan so so so so so badlyÂ
Get married: Iâm still single, want to put my career first, so yep not for a little whileÂ
Career: iâm a cake decorator rn, see my cakes on my insta @tanakeiartÂ
Hugs or Kisses: hUG mE
Lips or eyes: Eyes, (though I am supper bad at making eye contact)Â
Shorter or taller: would be nice to be slightly taller...Â
Older or younger: like to date or something? I think high school rule is a good rule, but rn looking at niners mAN they are tiny
Nice arms or stomach: arms to hug meeeeee
Sensitive or loud: i think I would need a loud person to compliment meÂ
Hook up or relationship: relationship bc you have a standing plus one to everything and rn being single I have to text like 5 friends to find someone to go with me to somethingÂ
Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitantÂ
Have you ever:Â
kissed a stranger: NopeÂ
Drank hard liquor: I only have like four months until my 19th so like iâll go drinking thenÂ
Lost Glasses/contact lenses: funny story: family and i were in Japan and we were at Kinkaku-ji and then i realize that one of my eyes have gone fuzzy, so thinking that there is something on the lens, i take my glasses off and my lens had fallen out of the frame. my family literally crawled around trying to find my lost lens, we did find it, but we couldnât find a small screw that would hold the lens in. my dad fixed it with a twist tie.
turned someone down: nobody likes me so nobody has asked me so i have never turned someone downÂ
broken someoneâs heart: noÂ
had your heart broken: yeah, by a friend. It is shATTERingÂ
been arrested: not even a parking ticket in my nameÂ
cried when someone died: no, i am some kind of emotionless egg
fallen for a friend: my heart easily leaps and often trips falls and gets lost
Do you believe in:
yourself: yes, I believe that I can get in, I believe that I can be what I want to be.Â
Miracles: I believe in karma more than miraclesÂ
Love at first sight: yes, but not in the way that media portrays itÂ
Santa claus: nahÂ
Kiss on the first date: this is weirdly phrased.Â
other:Â
current best friend name: beckyÂ
Eye colour: brownÂ
Favourite movie: the other day i was procrastinating and made an official list of favourite movies, which still has a lot of ties: 1/2: httyd 1/2, 3/4: moana, big hero 6, 5/6/7: wreck it ralph, tangled, rise of the guardians, 8/9/10: back to the future 1-3Â
wow that took a lot of time, but thanks for tagging me! Iâm tagging @thepurplewriter333 @yv-sketches and @animalsarepeople2 on the ones that you didnât tag me in! also tagging @katlikespie @crazilexa and @fading-shadows for whichever one/s you want to do!Â
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Idk the number, but does anyone rly care?
So! Iâve been in college for 59 days by now. I know I said I was gonna keep updating but Iâve been busy okaaayyyyyy
Anyway, Philadelphia has been really good. I havenât gone much of anywhere despite being here for two months. I went around Center City with Jimmy a couple weeks ago, and it was amazing. I love the city so much, and I wish it wasnât a 30 minute bus ride from campus. We aimlessly walked around for hours and Jimmy used me as a model for his photos, which was super awkward for me, but he somehow got some really nice photos. He's posted some on his account I think, Iâll paste a link at the bottom of this post.Â
Classes are good. I have a design class where I have to do a lot of painting, which is a lot of work, and Iâm not getting the results I want so that oneâs annoying. But I somehow have a B in the class. I have a drawing class where I have an A. We started using models for figure drawing last week and it was suuuppppeeerrrr awkward.Â
Those are the only classes I have that go toward my major this semester. The others are annoying. I have a College Algebra class which I'm pretty sure Iâm failing, but the professor give out extra credit like itâs candy, so I think Iâll be okay.Â
Debating U.S. Issues is a class I have to take for like character building or something, and I only have to take it once thank god, but I hate it. I donât do well talking to a bunch of people and speaking my opinion to people I donât even know is proving to be difficult. I got a 68 on my first paper and honestly I worked rly hard on it and Iâm very disappointed. My professor allows rewrites so I might redo it and get a better grade. Iâm pretty sure I donât have a good grade in that class.Â
I have a writing class too. Which I love so much. I almost wish Iâd stuck with being an English Major. I think it would have been less work honestly, but I like the idea of making movies one day. But Iâve been doing really well on the essays I have had to write. Itâs only two so far, but the first one was what my definition of home is, and honestly I had so many things to put in that my paper turned out to be 6 pages and one of the best in the class. The second paper isnât due until Monday, but itâs on Discourse Community and I picked Twenty One Pilotsâ fan base. Rough Drafts were due last Wednesday and my Professor really liked it. Also he wears a bowtie and heâs been my favorite professor so far other than my Drawing Professor.Â
I have small pangs of being homesick. Mainly on Sundays because I force myself to watch the live stream my hometown church does before I force myself out of bed to go to Jimmyâs house. I talk to GiGGles nearly everyday and I talk to my dog in the process. I miss my dog more than anything.Â
Iâm kidding. I really miss my sister and my aunt. My mother would be offended if I said I didnât miss her too, but honestly I didnât actually see her a lot. Same with my dad. Itâs not their fault, we all worked and our schedules didnât match up a lot. Iâm just used to not seeing them a lot.Â
I saw GiGGles, my aunt, and my dog a lot, so clearly I miss them more.
My room mate is still really nice. I think she hates my alarm clock because all of her classes start after mine, so Iâm up first usually. This morning I had to get up at 6 to go to a school work thing and I swear I thought she wanted to kill me.Â
Weird side note, I am always way more willing to get out of bed at 6am than I am at like 9am. itâs annoying and doesnât make any sense. My alarm went off at 5:30 and I almost went a head and got up, but decided I could lie around until 6. Iâm a little tired now and could actually take a serious nap right about now, but at the time I was completely fine getting up early.Â
Anyway, thatâs all I think....I donât know what else to talk about. Sorry this post is both long and boring.Â
Jimmyâs Photography :)
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I've seen 3 way of interpreting the color cover: Death (obviously with how the chapter ended), Loss of Virginity (her offer to Kaneki when he's ready and /or considering sex as a way to get him to stay, and flowers used in poems and literature as a symbol of a young woman's virginity, lastly (and least likely to me) pregnancy (flowers also meaning new life, the red either meaning loss virginity or childbirth going along with Touka offer of sex resulting in a One Eyed Prince/Princess)
do u think this chapter is a death flag for touka?
do you think the blood splatter on the colour page might be hinting that mutsuki might stab touka with one of her knives or something?
Idk if anyone asked this before, but thereâs been death flags already marked on touka from the latest chapter and I just want to know youâre opinion and what you think. Considering how the chapter ended, Iâm really worried and concerned for her.
Hi! So according to the colored page of latest chapter. I guess youâve seen the 3 possibilities of what might happen to Touka. I would like to hear what you think about it. I highly doubt that she would die, Ishida sensei doesnât kill characters lightly especially if it doesnât serve the story (which I think is applied on Touka right now). Also her expression in the picture doesnât imply bad thing happening, but more like sheâs happy? I mean even if she were to die I donât think it will be now..
Or pregnancy.
Dude the stain on toukas stomach kinda looks like a ukaku kagune. What if the color page is implying pregnancy?
rebeccastarlight: The blood splatter on the cover page it also looks like sheâs going to die from childbirth
I wasnât really a believer of the cover page implying that Touka became pregnant, but I recently saw a reddit post about it. [You can probably find it on the front page.] So anyways, it talked about the poem Ishida made a year ago, âHer womb smelled like it was burntâ. Bad sign already, but if you go through the translated lyrics its even worse. It also straightforwardly says the children meant to be born, had died. Do you think that relates to whats happening now? ItAlsoWouldLeadToParallellingÂ
Wow, this is a really popular question, huh? Well, really itâs two and a half questions: 1) Will Touka die next chapter? 2) Will Touka get pregnant? 2.5) Will it end tragically? But since theyâre all related to the cover picture, Iâll answer them all here before saying what I think is going to happen.
Q: Will Touka die next chapter?
A: No way Jose. If Iâve learnt anything from all that Iâve ever read, watched or played, itâs that female deuteragonists are IMMORTAL. Even more so than protagonists on some occasions. Donât worry about the death flags, because this arc will be a parallel of the original Anteiku Raid arc, and you know who had a ton of death flags back then and who Touka has been paralleling since the start of :re? Old man Yoshimura! Who, despite it all, is still alive (if not kickinâ). Touka wonât die - itâs far more likely that sheâs going to get captured like her predecessor, probably as bait for Kaneki.Â
Q: Will Touka get pregnant, and will it end in tragedy?
A: Unlikely. That would require a 9-month timeskip to pay off, and things are way too hectic in the story right now to allow for something like that. The alternative would be that itâs foreshadowing for the epilogue, but it seems a bit strange to do that so early on and before Kaneki and Touka have even done the deed. Itâs also not something that really needs to be foreshadowed because it would be part of the denouement rather than the actual plot. I donât think itâs ukaku kagune since Ishida always draws blood with artistic flair in his colour art, and the drops over her breasts are unmistakably blood. As for the flowers, those are Kanekiâs signature flower, sweet olives, and they represent him.
Where the stillbirth/death in childbirth theories are concerned, I really doubt Ishida would kill off Touka so needlessly in the storyâs epilogue of all places, and killing the baby would be equally pointless as weâve seen Kuzen and Ukina (moar parallels) manage it. As one of these anons has already said, Ishida always has a point to his tragedy; he wouldnât just throw either of those things in at the storyâs conclusion for the sake of squeezing our tear ducts, especially since it would have nothing to do with the plotline of Tokyo Ghoul and, again, an epilogue is supposed to unwind tension rather than wrack it up.
What I think is going to happen
I think the blood on her stomach is indicative of a wound inflicted by Mutsuki. But itâs not just going to be any wound thatâll regenerate in a week - I think that out of jealousy, Mutsuki is going to damage Toukaâs womb beyond repair. Since Ghouls have high-speed regenerative abilities, the only way to ensure that the womb wonât grow back would be to tear it out of her body, or maybe even eat it (weâve already seen Mutsuki feed from bodies, and it could serve to parallel Ayato eating her kakuhou in the original series). Sexual mutilation would fit Mutsukiâs parallels with Torso and Nutcracker, and Kaneki and Touka talking about sex foreshadows that specific calamity more than a general death - especially since weâve seen how good Touka is with kids in Ch 120. It also allows the aforementioned poem to fit in - âThe children who were meant to be born, diedâ - referring to Toukaâs ability to reproduce being robbed from her.Â
So I think sad times are ahead for Touka, but she will live on. And isnât Hinami kind of her and Kanekiâs kid already?

#tokyo ghoul#tg#tg meta#tgre#tokyo ghoul re#touken#kanetou#kaneki x touka#touka#kirishima#tgre 122#tooru#mutsuki#hinami#fueguchi
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some random updates and manga commentary
I read more manga than books usually, but then donât always say much about it because idk, usually I just have a thought or two and then move on. Sometimes I do these posts where I mention a bunch of series in one place in passing. If that sounds interesting, read on.Â
But first:
Iâm fucking obsessed lately with One Piece Treasure Cruise somebody stop me I have problems I already spent $10 on it help
Ok, now onto manga mentions, commentary, etc:
I bought the latest Livingstone volume (4) and was all excited to continue reading that series only to realize unexpectedly the other night that it was the end of the series. MAN. Itâs been awhile since I watched Deadman Wonderland but I seem to recall feeling the same way about that as Livingstone, only maybe less dramatically so, and thatâs this: the creator is the same for both series, and comes up with really interesting ideas and throws in some interesting characters. But then the story itself feels like it ends before it explores the concept as deeply as it could or should. Itâs not that I recall Deadman Wonderlandâs ending being terrible, and itâs not that Livingstone necessarily had a bad ending either; itâs just that I feel like it ends right as itâs developing, so some of the impact is lost on me because I feel like so much more story still should have been told.
Finally got caught up (again) on Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and D.Gray-Man. Iâm seriously getting worried about Hoshinoâs health for DGM :( Iâm so worried something will happen to her that is more permanent even than has happened already, and Iâm also worried the series will not be able to end properly as a result. Which is really sad to me because I want Hoshino to be okay, and I want her and her readers to not have any regrets about the series itself. I wish she would get an assistant to draw for her while she dictates the story, if for no other reason than to preserve her health more, but I imagine she is hesitant to do so because she has such a beautiful art style and it has to be incredibly difficult to struggle against health issues when you know once upon a time you easily could do far more than now you struggle to achieve. Itâs so sad :( I donât want her to push her health beyond its limits. Ganbatte, Hoshino! :( As for Kuroshitsuji, I swear to god that series is simultaneously the most ridiculous and sometimes most amazing thing XD Iâve been pretty embarrassed by the whole pop star thing because idk lots of reasons, but thatâs happened for me before on other arcs that have happened and it always swings its way back. Anyway regardless I love Ciel and Sebastian and everyone and YES UNDERTAKER YESSSSS. Also, itâs been cracking me up seeing how much Soma seems to be having a ball in the latest arc XD
Just realized Iâm a couple chapters behind on Magi, thatâs the next thing I need to catch up on. Also I need to check on Love Stage!! because itâs been months since I last looked. Yotsuba&! came out with a new chapter too! But I need to read it still. Same with a few BL manga Iâm following whose names Iâve managed to briefly forget so I have to track that down to look for updates ugggh Iâm real good at this lol
btw did I mention I watched the Seven Days live action movie awhile ago? Because I did. I liked it! I was worried I wouldnât but I did. I mean, I fucking love Seven Days so thatâs probably no surprise, I just rarely watch live action of manga or anime, especially BL, so thatâs why I wasnât sure how Iâd feel. But oh my god they paid so much attention even to little idiosyncrasies and movements! Good job, guys, good job
I still need to read Haikyuu!!, I donât know why I havenât yet. Itâs my goal to do so at some point, because so far Iâve only seen the anime and read the first 2 volumes, and I want to read everything and be up to date with others!Â
I started Black Clover and was pretty excited about it but then it started pulling full on bullshit fanservice moves in the 3rd volume or something and it annoyed me so much I stopped reading... I should probably start up again but ugh, so sick of unnecessary fanserviceÂ
WAIT have I read the latest Noragami?? ....Shit yes I did I FORGOT ok so that series THAT SERIES goddamnit I love that series...
Same with Natsume Yuujinchou like goddamn, just as soon as you think surely you wonât cry at some new story in it because surely youâre immune by now, the series is like âSo anyway hereâs this really bittersweet or heartwarming-slash-heartrending story Iâll casually throw out there and Bee-Tee-Dubs, just a reminder that as nice as Natsume is, his life will probably always be a pretty sad and precarious mess because he cares too much about both humans and Ayakashiâ
which now that Iâm thinking about it is a bit Allen Walker-like.... no wonder I love both Natsume and Allen; they both are stuck in between all these other things but donât use it as an excuse to hurt or hate others; if anything, they hurt themselves while trying not to hurt others. I just really love characters and people who donât use misfortune as an excuse for harming others
Thereâs probably more but Iâm getting so distracted by this gif faded in the background on tumblr that I canât focus omg wut
Oh right, I hope Gangsta comes back sometime in the future. They have some spin off out I think, right? Based on Marco Adriano, called Cursed? Iâm debating if I should give it a try.... Actually I donât remember, maybe I bought the first volume and havenât read it yet lolz0r Anyway if anyoneâs read it, is it as good as Gangsta? The thing is, I donât really care about Marco, so thatâs why I havenât read it yet. Not that I hate him or anything but I feel pretty meh about reading something solely based on him so Iâve hesitated. I mostly like Gangsta primarily for Worick and secondarily for Nicolas, and then I liked others like Doug, and itâs not like I hate the rest of the characters but they work best for me as the background to Worick and Nicolasâ story. So idk.
Similarly, I gave up on Dogs! Bullets & Carnage around volume 9 mostly because I love one character (Badou all the way, motherfuckers!) and am mostly ambivalent or not in love with the rest. Badou totally carried the series for me in the beginning, when he and Heine had all those great interactions, but now Naotoâs more prominent with Heine and Iâm like bleggggh not a fan of Naoto almost at all, and Heineâs okay but I feel like heâs kind of a non-character so he doesnât really work as the primary MC for me. The pacing of the story is not the best so it makes it harder for me to care about whatâs going on. Basically I just want the series to follow Badou around and tell me occasionally about the crazy shit the others are getting up to. Give me a spin off on Badou and Iâll buy that any day! Come on! Anyway so if anyone is still reading that, Iâm just curious if I should keep going... Iâm a little curious about what the hell is even going on with the plot and background and etc but mostly I just want more Badou :( ...wait a second, I just saw thereâs a prequel called just Dogs, that may be more along the lines of the story I want to read. I want just Dogs, man! Did I read it already years ago? Fuck if I can remember...
I also gave up on Tokyo Ghoul:re after it was so incredibly different from Tokyo Ghoul and the pacing and just everything kind of fucked around with what I was hoping to read as a continuation of that series, and in particular with me wanting to see more of Kaneki. Iâm months behind at this point and idk man. I will probably read further at some point because I do think itâs an interesting world and I liked a number of characters in Tokyo Ghoul quite a lot, especially Kaneki. But :re has just been... Iâm trying not to say mean things lol itâs just that I guess the pacing and style and story and character designs and just everything is basically like a whole different series. Which would be fine, if that was what I wanted. But what I wanted was more Tokyo Ghoul, so Iâm disappointed so far. idk. I donât think Iâve given up completely on it. I just think I have to wait until Iâm in the right mood...
That just randomly reminded me I never finished Claymore. That was another series that started out interesting but then idk. The pacing or story or what just dragged a lot after a while, or made it difficult to follow. I should finish it sometime I guess. I think I probably only have a few dozen chapters to read to end it.Â
I did the same thing with Shingeki no Kyoujin/Attack on Titan... I was pretty obsessed with it when I first started reading it, then the story/style started wavering around the same time I got caught up with Japan and had to wait for new chapters, I read as chapters released for a few months, and then idk. At one point I just got too annoyed/frustrated with the series and stopped reading. I guess thatâs another series where maybe I should wait until itâs ended and then read it all at once. Iâm curious about some of the plot lines but I really only liked one or two characters pretty well and the rest I was ambivalent about or my feelings on them varied too much, and since Iâm so character-driven as a reader/viewer I just canât stick with series that donât have strong and consistent plots while also having strong and consistent characters and character development. At least not week by week or month by month, one chapter at a time. It doesnât seem to work for my attention span.
In anime news, I wish weâd get some sequels of some series like re:Zero or K Project or my god wouldnât No. 6 be nice?? But these are all light novel based so my hopes are probably for naught. Actually, I take that back. K wasnât based on LN, it just has novels in addition to the anime. But now Iâm realizing, maybe I missed some things. That series is kind of weird with stuff all over the place and individualized outside of the anime itself so I probably missed things. Unsurprisingly, Iâm sure, Shiro is my favorite, Kuro secondarily. But I primarily watched for Shiro lolz
Wow ok I just managed to use up all my time on StayFocusd rambling on all this shit so there you go, thereâs a bunch of random thoughts about a bunch of random series, and I didnât even cover everything but I had to stop somewhere I guess.
Probably no one even read this far but thatâs fine; sometimes I write this even just to remember later my thoughts on some things. Like I said earlier in the year, I wanted to do Voice as my word for 2017, which means not silencing myself on stuff unnecessarily, so for things like this where I want to write a post talking about a bunch of different stuff just touching on them itâs silly to not do it if itâs something I want to do. If that makes sense.
Anyway if you are reading this, I hope you have a lovely day/night/whatever it is for you! And hey, let me know if you have thoughts on any of the series I mentioned or I guess if you want me to go more in depth on something if it was of interest to you. idk, just whatever.
Hmm maybe Iâll make a tag for these kind of posts so I can find them later... I think Iâll do âais manga ramblingsâ hmmmm
#ais manga ramblings#manga thoughts#1 am ramblings#rambling like a mofo#and other rambling things wow how many times can I say rambling lets count
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eyes really wanna be shut right now so letâs make this quick. Today was alright I guess. Iâm mad at myself for being a wimp and not wanting to go to PT in the morning but then I couldnât fall back asleep anyway so I didnât get any extra sleep!! ugh. so I got up and I made blueberry pancakes, because why not, they figured I could at least get some grocery shopping done, so I went and did that, fairly small trip so thatâs good. came back, it was around noon, and decided I really needed to do something about the ridiculous amount of dishes in the sink, so I tackled that project, which took about 2 hours (we donât have a dishwasher, so I had to do them all by hand). It felt good to be done, though. After that I had gotten supplies to make mini pumpkin hand pies based on a recipe I found so I set to doing that, they were fairly easy and came out pretty damn good (use store bought dough is brilliant, I donât know why I ever put myself through making dough from scratch) so I was pleased with that. While I was doing that there was an email exchange about small group tonight, with one of the guys I sat next to last week asking if anyone wanted to go get dinner beforehand, so I said sure, and we ended up being the only two, lol. I obviously knew it wasnât a date, but it still felt a little bit like a date, lol. So I got ready and I met him down in an area close to church that has a lot of good restaurants. heâs from the suburbs but just moved to the city recently so he doesnât know like any restaurants, but we decided on this wood-fired pizza place that looked pretty good. the menu was like, almost entirely words we couldnât understand, lol. we ended up googling quite a few of them to figure out what the hell was going on. I ended up staying simple, fresh mozzarella, tomato sauce, and basil, and it came out pretty good, except the crust was kind of soggy in the center which was less than ideal. He wasnât crazy about his and ended up eating like half of it, while I ate all of mine (and did not feel self conscious about it because thereâs nothing wrong with finishing my damn meal). Meanwhile the conversation was pretty good, he works for google in developing technologies and such, and they send him to a bunch of different places on work trips, he said he ends up in China like once a month and he just found out he's getting sent to California on Monday. He kind of casually slipped out that he broke up with his ex-fiance about two months ago, and I kind of got the feeling the small group was sort of his first attempt at being social since that happened. We talked about theatre for a while, because heâs done some work with portable mics and how to make them more invulnerable to sweat, so I talked about tour and everything along with that, and it was pretty nice. Heâs like, kinda cute, not a total stunner but heâs decent. When we finished we started walking down to the church, and we were talking about traffic tickets because he said he had a bit of a problem with driving too fast, and he was talking about this female ASA who he apparently had on more than one case and she was supposedly aggressive which he (potentially?) interpreted to be because she felt like she wasnât being taken seriously because she was a woman, and at that point referred to her as a âfeminaziâ at which point I was like LOL NOPE any brownie points you earned throughout the night just went down the drain. as he continued to talk about it I told him the attitude she seemed to be exhibiting (win at all costs, never budge) is basically the culture at the SAâs office, theyâre all like that, so idk maybe that helped a little. Itâs not like I was taking the whole night terribly seriously anyway, it was kind of nice to be out with someone again since itâs been over a year and a half since I stopped going on tinder dates, and I do like meeting new people and doing things like going out. So I will take the positive from the night and leave the negative. But we got to church, and others soon arrived and small group was started. We talked about Daniel and how he was basically kidnapped by the Babylonians and they tried to force him to assimilate into their society and worship their pagan gods, but Daniel stood firm in his convictions. So we discussed like, do you think you would be able to do that in that situation? and then it kind of went to have you been in a situation where you felt like what was going on around you was wrong and you didnât know if you should say something? And I got asked it specifically in context to being in law school, so I talked about how when we discussed abortion in con law (with a disclaimer that I have very complicated opinions on abortion that I could talk your ear off about for several hours, but I wasnât gonna get into right now) and how when I was in high school I would've killed for the chance to be in a secular school environment and have that argument, but here I was in one all these years later and I felt myself second guessing if this is something I should do, and I ultimately decided I shouldnât say anything because I simply couldn't make a constitutionally sufficient argument for it (plus I didnât want to draw the ire of probably every other female in my class). So it was an interesting discussion. we went for just over an hour then headed out, I got distracted playing solitaire on the bus home and missed my stop by two blocks, thatâs never happened before because right before we get to my stop we make a right turn after going straight for literally the whole ride, so I always take that as notice that I need to get off in a minute, but apparently I was oblivious to it tonight. I got home and saw the velcro strips I ordered off amazon had arrived, so I set to do surgery on my fake bo staff, lol. After I secured it into a 4 foot solid staff, I realized I have no way to get this into a suitcase to take onto a plane with me, so I had to come up with a solution, and I decided the solution would be to cut it in half and then put velcro on both sides so I could use it both together and split it apart, like Saraâs actual bo staff on the show. It went fairly well, Iâm still not a very crafty person (like at all) but I was fairly satisfied with how it came out. After that I watched tonightâs Inhumans episode, which Iâm really liking so far. I actually like Medusa as a character a lot, which I didnât really expect, but I really like her and Louisa on their adventures tonight. I like Crystal too, partially because I feel like Iâm supposed to like her haha but sheâs also a really cool character. And yeah, after that I got ready for bed and here we are. Per my earlier post, I really doubt Iâm gonna go to the event tomorrow, Iâm just so fucking tired, and I can actually be really productive with the billion things I need to get done here anyway. So oh well, itâs not a big deal in the long run. and yeah, thatâs about all I got. Damn am I tired. time to sleep. Goodnight lovelies. Happy weekend.
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101 questions: Answers
Ok since SOMEONE wanted me to answer all 101 questions...( if it's the person I'm thinking it is...just know you suck). It's almost 6 in the morning be grateful. So here we go! Long add post ahead just a fair warning. (I need to stop reblogging this crap.)
1. I have white walls, blue carpet, black desk, and a variety of colors and hues due to posters, pops, collectables, etc.
2. Probably my drama/ Chorus teacher, Mrs. Monahan. She's the one who taught me the most about my life.
3. Theatre, Kingdom Hearts, learning, laughing, Lilo and Stitch, (wow I'm a dork)
4. Lol I don't drink coffee
5. My so called "dad bod." How I am with women I like.
6. Accept that you have flaws. They are as much a part of you as the good stuff. But don't focus on the bad focus on what makes you strong, unique. You are you and that's beautiful.
7. I do not have stuff animals.
8. Probably drawing.
9. Usually in the fetal position on my right side on the left side of my bed.
10. Being on stage, the imagination of kids, making someone else smile.
11. Small town easily.
12. Two story house on the beach. Hardwood floors, a balcony overlooking the water, and a game room.
13. I'd honestly love like three dogs. A husky/wolf mix, Tibetan Mastiff, and a Shepard.
14. I have not dyed my hair as of now. But I am looking into getting some darker low lights. I'm yet.
15. To each his own. I personally don't have one, but I'm not gonna judge if you do.
16. Look at 15.
17. Art is all around you. Just use what you see and feel to guide your pen/brush/body etc.
18. I was in middle school. I just got off the bus, was in a really good mood bopping along. I walk in the house, didn't even lay my bad down when I saw my sister with tears in her eyes. She looks at me and says We're picking Funeral music now. My Great Grandmother. So yea.
19. Not so much playlists as much in the order they are in my phone.
20.
My best friend, Nate, Kerry, a few others.
21. Honestly as much as I try to, no. My main priority is making Every one else happy. Usually.
22. Usually typos.
23. Demon Hunter if you like metal. Dear Evan Hansen is amazing. I've been listening to Gorillaz recently so them too.
24. Plain.
25. Yea it's worth a shot at least
26. Nah I didn't see the eclipse. Tried to. But nope not really.
27. Nature is peace. Makes you realize you a part of something bigger than you. The birds chirping, the breeze, just beautiful.
28. Well I'm a hardworking, kind-hearted, socially awkward 22 year old. I enjoy theatre, video games, and making people happy. I will do anything and everything for my friends. I'm a proud dork, but with a wise mind.
29. I listen to basically anything. My music goes from Heavy metal to rap To Game music to Broadway to Disney to 80s.
30.
Probably Hot Topic. Most of my wardrobe is graphic tees. And no better place to get it from Hot Topic.
31.
I really don't shop at either. Name brand I guess?
32. What are s.o clothes?
33. I started Tumblr 2-3 years ago..something like that. I made it cause the girl I liked said I should make one. She help me make it and everything.
34. Wash my face every now and then. I really don't have a face care plan tbh
35. I prefer freckles, but both are equally cute!
36. Hate. And peas.
37. I used to have hot wheels cars. I loved organizing them into lines. Drive em around and line em up. Idk I was wierd.
38. Eh depends on the day
39. Games I use. Pops just sit there. I really don't buy a whole lot of expensive things.
40. Standardized testing in schools. Don't get me started.
41. I am constantly asking for advice. Can't learn if you don't know.
42. I mean prefer bras off but anyway!
43. Lol comfy. T-shirt, shorts, and flip flops is where it's at!
44. Honestly one of the better dates I've gone on. We went to the jazz festival and ended up going to a very nice restaurant. Watched the band play for a while. Went to the movies after and then went back to her place and we talked for like 3 hours. It was a good time. (She later went on to break my heart, but moving on!)
45. I am Christianso that should answer it.
46. I don't drink nearly enough water. I should drink more but I don't.
47. I mean it's good. It's unique. My hair naturally makes a nice little swoop so that's nice.
48. It's cloudy but the sun should be rising here soon.
49.
I'd like to think of be a King, but chances are I'd be a Prince. More like the Other Prince in Into the Woods. The one who isn't Charming.
50. If I'm dressing up it's my black button up, blue jeans, and whatever the nicest pair of sneakers is. (I don't dress up a lot)
51. My hair, my kind-heart, my ethics,
52. I'd like to think I'm open minded.
53. I don't judge. Come as you are. Everyone's got stuff that has made them who they are. If I can be one person who they can talk to about that stuff then I've done my job.
54.
I like to plan ahead as much as I can, but I have ADD so you do the math.
55.
Love learning, Hate the education system.
56.
German Shepard/Sharpei mix named Stitch. He's about 70 pounds of fluff and is as much a dork as I am. He's all bark no bite. Hes loves whoever comes in.
57. I don't like milk.
58. Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Overwatch, LOZ, Assassins Creed, oh and Lilo and Stitch.
59. Pandora.
60. Brave.
61. LILO AND STITCH!
62. (I'm getting my questions from my gallery cause I'm on mobile and I didn't get 62 so yea)
63. Once I get the notification that it needs to be updated it takes me like two weeks of ignoring it to actually update. Once I get tired of the notifications like 20 min.
64. I'm in mobile so it's this stupid question list. I still hate you.
65. Lilo and Stitch probably. STITCH and I have a lot in common. The themes, soundtrack, artwork absotuly beautiful. The jokes are still funny. The characters still amaze me. Just amazing.
66. I've seen one Studio Ghibli movie, Princess Monoke and I enjoyed it.
67.
If I'm playing games headphones are off. If music it's cranking loud as it can get!
68. All the time if by doing small things even If I don't say it verbally.
69. Kingdom Hearts, pops, Lilo and Stitch, I feel like I've answered this question a couple times.
70. God I want a partner. Someone to cuddle with, talk about life with, someone who will listen to me and support me. Someone I can be me around with.
71. Dr. Pepper
72. I'll talk to anyone who will listen. But the person who knew me the best and most intimately was the reason I created this Tumblr. Hope your doing well kid.
73. Ok let's see. Thomas Sanders' personal blog, FuckyeahKingdomHearts, the few mutuals I have, y'all know who you are,
74. To be truly happy with the one I'm supposed to spend forever with.
75. Of course! Is there any other place to sing?
76. I shave like once a week maybe. Mostly the cheeks. I trim my mustache and goatee if needed.
77. Over worrying.
78. Sometimes.
79. There are good and bad days. I try to.
80. It was like freshman year ( maybe 8th grade.) But I went with some friends around a riche part of town. Lol I went as Joseph from the Bible, like no joke. Got a lot of candy. It was good time.
81. It was the last day of third grade. I went to climb the monkey bars. I got to the first bar and fell cause my hands were sweaty. Bit my head on all three rungs to the ladder on the way down. Busted my head open and went home early. I think I still have the scar.
82. I'm tired man it's late for me. Long night at work.
83. My stupid ass had to reblog this. And I was expecting like answer like a few questions. No big deal. NOPE!! Some anon was like hey do All of em! So here I am on mobile, without Wi-Fi, I've been working all night, I've had to take pictures of this just so I can get it done. And I've been going at this now for like 2 hours. It's past my bedtime! I'm pretty sure I know who asked me this, because they have a habit of asking this type stuff. And if it is just know you suck so much. Ok end rant.
84. I say i don't care what people think, but I do. A lot. I worry that I'm being annoying or that I'm being that kid that everyone says hi to out of pity. I worry that I may bother some people. When in a relationship i constantly worry that I'm not doing my job right. That I've made her unhappy or something. It's a bad habit.
85. If both parties are working at it yes. Long distance can work. You gotta have a lot of trust. If there's the slightest bit of mistrust it can crumble in an instant.
86. Depending on how much younger. And yea if date someone older. I went on a date with a 35 year old once. Granted didn't know she was 35 till the date but she still had a great time.
87. Jim Carrey, the late Robin Williams, my great-grandfather whom I was named after, Obama, Hayley Joel Is many, the voice of Stitch.
88. I honestly don't remember.
89. 21st. I got my tattoo on the day before. Then me and my friends went to Disney Springs for the day and had a great time. A lot of laughs. I didn't drink but still had a great time!
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