#anyways idk if anyone saw this but like two weeks ago I posted this drawing except it was my oc Gabriel

[lycanlovebites]

You know what? Fuck you *hits Father Ardelian with the shoujo filter and babygirlifies your priest*

@stjohnstarling

[vonnyphant]

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself. 

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out. 

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there. 

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do). 

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before. 

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas. 

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was: 

“.............of course”. 

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made. 

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***). 

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk). 

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

[reservethesun]

are you still taking prompts. if yes can u do 48 for sarawatine (is that their ship name idk) please with a nice cherry red sweet cherry (or a pic of ur fav ship) on top

Yesss. Thank you so much for the prompt! I love them so much. They’re cute. I’m sorry this is so late. I had intended to have these up days ago. But let’s do this. [ Prompt Post ]

48.  “Why are you crying?”

WC: 692

The light flickering on the television made the tear tracks on Tine’s face visible in a way they might not have been in the dim lighting of the room. It made Sarawat’s brows raise slightly as he studied his boyfriend’s face for a few seconds. “Why are you crying?” Sarawat asked with a chuckle, nudging Tine with his elbow.

Tine huffed and hid his face against the top of Sarawat’s shoulder to hide the fact that he was, indeed, crying. “Why did you pick this dumb show?” asked Tine, though his words were muffled from how his face was pressed into Sarawat’s shoulder. It wasn’t a dumb show. Tine enjoyed it more than Sarawat did, but Sarawat watched it every week because he knew that Tine enjoyed it.

Which was why he laughed at Tine’s question. “I picked it? Really?” Tine just nodded and turned his head so that he could look at the television again. Sarawat sighed at the response with a shake of his head. But he moved so that he could wrap his arms around Tine’s shoulders and draw Tine into his side more. Tine made himself comfortable curled up against Sarawat’s side as they watched the rest of the episode. Sarawat had a small smile on his face the entire time despite the emotional scenes playing on the television. He wasn’t really paying much attention. He was focused more on the way that Tine clung to him and how his boyfriend had gotten so emotionally invested in a show that he insisted he hadn’t chosen to watch in the first place. It was cute - he was cute. Sarawat was once again reminded just how much he adored Tine, and why he loved his boyfriend.

It wasn’t just the energy and excitement he’d seen at the concert, it was the complete way that Tine wore his heart on his sleeve. He was open and honest, and he fiercely felt any emotion he felt at all. Sarawat would always be in awe of him for that reason. When the episode was over, Sarawat leaned away and reached up with a hand to wipe away the lingering tear marks on Tine’s face. Tine complained and tried to move away, but he didn’t move too far. He still wasn’t used to the various ways that Sarawat would look after him and take care of him - he was used to being the only one to take care of his partner. Letting Sarawat do so was a learning curve, but he would like to think that he had done well with it. “Why don’t you put on some music to listen to and then we can make your favorite for dinner?” Sarawat suggested. He smiled when Tine gave him a slow nod in response, the expression on his face seeming a little dazed. Sarawat then pressed a kiss to Tine’s cheek before he stood up so that he could head into the kitchen and pull out the things they needed to do that.

Tine sat on the couch a few moments longer before he got up and found a CD to put into the player that they would both enjoy. He played it loudly enough that they could hear it in the kitchen, but quietly enough that they wouldn’t have to yell or struggle to hear over it - and the neighbors wouldn’t complain about them playing music too loudly. Then, the two of them worked together to put together Tine’s favorite dinner. He had a smile on his face the entire time, even if Sarawat periodically teased him about having cried due to the show they had been watching. “You can’t tell anyone,” Tine insisted.

“But it was cute. You’re cute,” said Sarawat in response. He knew he would probably end up telling Boss and Man when he saw them next. Even after he and Tine had gotten together again and Tine had moved back in with him, Sarawat had never stopped telling his friends how wonderful Tine was and just what about him was so amazing. He didn’t care if they didn’t quite agree with him. He just wanted them to know anyway.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[no-i-didnt-notice-im-short]

Keith "I never asked to be the leader!" with Lance saying "Well too bad because idk if you noticed but there are more people than just you!" Keith getting emotional and everyone getting on Lance for that? I'm sorry i love Klangst >~

Hope you like it, thanks for the prompt ❤

Ao3

This is post S2 for obvious reasons :)

—–

Keith was used to people abandoning him by this point, but the same person twice in a row was just a cruel joke from the universe.

His relationship with lance was thriving but the sense of familial closeness lacked in an unbearable way without Shiro. He was the closest thing he had to an older brother or even a father. He mentored him for years, taking him under his wing in the journey that is… life.

Finding him all those months ago in Garrison’s captivity after he crash-landed was a saving grace for the orphan boy. That small shred of familiarity he was given back subconsciously saved his life and kept him from falling apart after they were blasted off into space. A shred he lost again.

His and Lance’s relationship was still in its honeymoon phase when it all happened. That phase where you lay next to each other and whisper sweet nothings to remind each other that you are both here and that this tender moment was actually happening. Shiro’s disappearance ruined all that for Keith. He couldn’t afford to lie down, to not do anything that could get him closer to the Black Paladin.

Shiro said to take the lead if something was to happen to him but he couldn’t help but feel like he made a mistake trusting Keith with all of this. After the whole thing with the Black Lion, he had two paladins with new Lions and another two that didn’t know the first thing about combat. Keith was in over his head.

The new Black paladin spoke with Coran to give him the training records of the Paladins of Old to try it with the team. He set the training deck to the required settings and started the workout. Allura was to go first followed by Hunk then Pidge and ending with Lance. Each of their strengths and weaknesses were taken into consideration and Keith couldn’t help but feel slight pride in his work.

Overworking himself was his coping mechanism, he already knew it was bad but he couldn’t think about that right now. He did it back on earth when Shiro first disappeared with the weird energy and drawings in the cave, which later turned out to be super important and now he was doing it again with training exercises and trying to move forward.

He hadn’t seen much of the team outside of training due to him holing himself in the gym or the training deck. Keith needed to be better for the sake of the team, for the sake of finding Shiro again and for the sake of distracting himself, something not even Lance had been able to do… He just thought about it too much and he needed that intoxicating rush of adrenaline.

By the end of the first week of their new training schedule Hunk seemed like he had dead weights on his punches while he dodged the oncoming punches clumsily instead of the usual calculated precision. Allura’s moves were sluggish and too slow which was shocking considering she was their best fighter.

Lance was slightly better aiming/shooting wise but horrible in hand-to-hand combat, a note Keith didn’t spare from Lance as he kept repeating it all throughout his turn to remind him to get better. But the ex-Blue Paladin barely entered the training deck to train and it was showing in his hand-to-hand combat, being the only trope he was lacking in.

Today’s training was going fine. Everyone was doing their parts and Keith was giving pointers like he usually did, Coran was at the controls and whoever finished or were waiting for their designated session were doing light cardio on the sides.

By the time it was Pidge’s turn Keith was running out of temper to spare.

“Pidge! It’s like you are not even trying. You don’t duck the minute you think there might be a punch, you try to counter it.” Keith said in a rather stern way, but it was all for good reason. “Do what I’ve been telling you for the past week: Use. Your. Size.”

He walked closer to the bot and demonstrated the move he wanted and how he wanted it. He needed her to be ready for anything, why can’t she see that?

“Hey man, we get what you want but can you just calm down for a sec?” Hunk surprisingly said. He was wearing a training shirt with what looked like basketball shorts, and was also sweating buckets. His training today was weights and Keith tried to get him to push his body limits as much as possible for a better result. “She is trying to do what you are saying, can’t you see that?”

“Not really. All I see is weakness that could be exploited by our enemies in times of actual battle. She is already the smallest Paladin she can’t afford to be the weakest one too. She won’t make it.”

“What the hell DID YOU JUST SAY!?” A voice boomed from across the training deck. Lance came charging at him with inhuman speed, the sweat and flush on his face making him look scarier than usual. The fire in his eyes burned brighter than Keith had ever seen.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Lance.” He visibly sighed and made eye contact with Lance, regretting it almost immediately but held it for a few more minutes anyways. “All I am saying is that she needs to train more. You all do!”

“But we are training.” Hunk voiced out. Lance was fuming and looked like he had a lot to say but kept it in for everyone’s sake. Keith didn’t understand the reactions he was receiving; he was doing this for them all get better. This was war, not a playground fight.

“Not nearly well enough.” Keith shrugged. “Your level is close to pathetic and we all won’t survive the next battle at this rate.”

“Fuck you Keith we are all tired here, look around you we are all working our asses off” Lance threw his arms up dramatically.

“Not you.”

Pin drop silence.

And it may have been the fact that he didn’t expect this person to ever do this to any member of his team or the fact that his brain was racing too much to comprehend reality but the next thing Keith knew he was on the floor and his nose was dripping blood from the force of being decked in the face by Lance.

“We are all tired and worn out.” Hunk said. He had a hand on Lance’s shoulder, probably to keep him in check. “We have been training non-stop for the past week while dealing with a lot of issues on our own. Don’t think for one second you are the only one here who has been overworking themselves.”

Keith turned to the Yellow Paladin and stared. “I know that, I just think that right now the most important thing for us to do is to train. I am the leader according to Shiro and this is what I think is best.”

“What you think is best?! Right, so because Shirochose you based on his biased judgment we are supposed to follow your lead toour deaths?” Lance narrowed his eyes, holding eye contact with determination. Keithdidn’t understand where all this was coming from. “You do get that with how weare training, we won’t need to go to battle to die. You will do so during thesetraining sessions.”

“I never asked to take over as the leader, you know!!”Keith yelled at Lance. “It was Shiro’s decision and he’s GONE! All I am doingis respecting his wishes and doing what I think is best for the team. We needto train.”

“-We are not all YOU, KEITH! WE DON’T TRAIN LIKE COLD-HEARTED SOLDIERS!” he took a deep breath before composing himself. “I don’tknow if you noticed but there are more people than just you on this team.Shiro’s disappearance hit all of us. Maybe you more than the rest but we areall hurting after losing a friend. Open your damn eyes and look around you! Dios,we are your teammates, your friends, not your pet soldiers. Today’s session isdone.” He turned and left with that.

Their relationship was a secret. They didn’t have their friend’s expectations hanging over their necks on how they should treat each other, in private or in public. These new developments after the battle against Zarkon wasn’t really discussed by the lovers, both were choosing to focus on other matters. Keith didn’t tell Lance but it left a sour taste in his mouth thinking the Blue Paladin didn’t take all of this seriously, despite Lance making his insecurities pretty clear after their first few nights spent together, that he doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.

But at this moment, he wished they told the team of their new found closeness so Hunk or Pidge could punch Keith for what just happened.

Lance understood stress. He had anxiety for fuck’s sake.

What Keith was displaying, though, was getting out of hand on so many levels; it didn’t just affect him, it affected the whole team. He stalked Keith in the training room and saw his hopeless haunting look when he thought no one was watching. The small tremors that overtook his body when he overthought about a certain plan or when someone fucked up a training session; Keith was terrified that whatever happened to Shiro would happen to one of them too.

But what Keith failed to see was that everyone else was terrified too.

Lance had spent the better half of his time making sure everyone was healthy. Pidge over worked herself to an extent that he knew she won’t sleep if not reminded so he took her laptop from her when it was time for bed. He had his fair share of run-ins with the other paladins at night after being woken by a nightmare, another reason why he didn’t sleep in the first place, so to say the least: he saw first-hand how much everyone was suffering.

Hunk baked every possible recipe he could remember from earth while helping Coran fix a million things around the castle. Both males ran around all day trying to keep themselves busy by any means necessary with Lance going after them trying to get them to eat, drink and sleep. Allura’s situation was a bit tricky because she didn’t take him as seriously as the others, at first, so he had to get creative with getting her to take care of herself. And it all worked.

Taking care of everyone was so much work that he knew he was forgetting himself but the smile he would sometimes receive from Pidge when she wakes up from a long uninterrupted nap or from Hunk when he talks and lets out everything bothering him and Lance listens to him or from Allura when he helps her after reaching a supposedly dead-end in her planning by giving her a fresh point of view on things was way more than worth it in his books.

After leaving the training deck he goes to the Red Hanger to seek some comfort, he would’ve gone to Blue but Lance wasn’t over the rejection yet. As he reached the hanger door, he tiptoed to the Lion’s jaw to get into the cockpit but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned to find Coran smiling sadly at Lance.

“How are you, my boy?”

“I’m okay, Coran, just tired from training.”

“You know that we appreciate all that you’ve been doing to us these past few days.” Lance looked at Coran and found sincerity but he couldn’t get himself to believe him. Not completely.

“Keith seems to think otherwise.”

“You don’t know that, lad. He is just tired.”

Lance gave him a confirmation hum before he turned to leave, the hanger suddenly a few degrees colder than before. Exhaustion seeping into his soul more by the second; he was so tired. His vision started blurring the minute he caught sight of his bed. He locked the door, took off his training clothes and got under the covers and let the world turn black without interruption.

Coran walked into the training deck ready to kill someone and Keith almost had an idea why.

“I will make it up to everyone later.” He grumbled as he punched another bot, killing it in an instant.

“You will make it up to Lance this very second.” Coran’s gentle tone discarded for a hostile one that sent shivers down Keith back. Coran stalked up to him and stood mere inches away from his face while jabbing a finger in his chest. “You have no idea what that boy has been doing to everyone here and you need to start taking notes.” He said with a final jab and left.

What Lance has been doing?

Keith hasn’t seen much of Lance, but then again he hasn’t seen much of anyone. Pidge was always on her laptop while Hunk was always in the Kitchen. He helped Allura sometimes with strategy but didn’t talk to her otherwise. And Coran was Coran…

He ended the simulation and walked out the deck determine to find answers. He passed the kitchen and heard a voice that he later identified as Pidge.

“-too tired.” She finished.

“Yeah… those eyes bags are getting worse. We need to help him find himself again.” Allura conversed. He didn’t know the girls talked outside of missions, let alone about other members. He always assumed everyone was busy doing their own things between missions, like he did. “Keith had no right to disregard his hard work like this.”

Hard work?

“Yeah he’s been too down lately and he’s not talking to anyone about it.” Hunk was there too? The ringing sound of a tray set on the table. “He doesn’t come to me anymore, he hasn’t in a while but before it wasn’t as serious now.”

“Wasn’t he close to Keith before this?” Allura asked. “I thought they were finally getting along.”

“Yeah, me too.” Pidge answered.

Keith couldn’t listen to any more of this. He walked to his room, closed the door and trailed down to the floor with his head on his knees. Hot shame and guilt washed over him as he thought about of Lance. The others even noticed how close they were, he knew they didn’t hide it well but he didn’t think they would notice it to the extent of noting the difference.

He thought of every night he went to train and how the light of the lounge was always on. He assumed it was Pidge or Hunk as Lance took his sleep religiously but he was starting to doubt all his beliefs when it comes to the ex-Blue Paladin these days.

He looked around his room and saw random garments that didn’t belong to him. A shirt here and there, a pair of pants and some socks. He never realised how much he missed Lance and how much the Cuban softened him up that he without him there to go to bed with, he was beginning to suffocate. Lance has been hurting too but, unlike Keith, he was putting all that aside and helping the others.

Keith missed Shiro’s presence immensely at the very moment hating the responsibility he thrusted on his shoulders. He had finally found someone who would like him for who he was… flaws and all. And he ruined it by being a self-absorbed prick. He thought of what Shiro would say at a situation like this and came up blank.

Keith needed to fix this on his own.

Lance heard a knock on his door, yanking him out of dreamless sleep.

He opened the door finding a glass jar at the foot of the door. Lance bent down and lifted it to his face and stared. It was filled with little pieces of paper, all different colours. He opened the lid and took one of the pieces out and read what’s on it.

You make me a better person.

He tried thinking of everyone’s handwriting and couldn’t think of anyone’s that could match the one on the paper. He blamed it on the fact that no one writes anymore when you can easily type it out.

He took another one.

I appreciate everything you do for this team.

Red couldn’t have chosen a better Paladin

The fourth one however gave him a clue as to who his mystery person was.

You remind me I’m still human.

Lance thought of a conversation he had with Keith after they returned from the first time they had reached out for the Blade and it ended with Lance comforting a sobbing Keith. He was terrified of being Galra that he opened up for the first time ever about his past and how much Shiro meant to him and how he didn’t want to scare Shiro after what he went through at the hands of Galra. It took Lance literal hours to calm him down and get him to sleep that night. It was also the first time they ever slept together.

A small smile made its way to his lips as he took another paper.

You are all the better parts of myself.

He knew Keith was apologizing to what happened but he also knew that if he went to him right now he couldn’t trust his mind to make the right decision, words wise. He went back to bed with the jar in his hand and went through every single one of the papers, his smile growing more by the second. He really liked Keith and he was going to make sure that that boy knows when to relax.

I haven’t had motivation to write for a while… Finally got some clarity of mind and decided to do this prompt that i got months ago.

Hope you guys liked it! And i am so sorry if this is shit...

[clementinebarish]

i decided i just wanted to answer the rest of the questions from that list so i’m just gonna do it

i’ll put it under a read more so you guys can just scroll through it since it’s all garbage and nonsense anyway

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify. I listen to it on my phone, my computer, wherever and whenever I can.

Is your room messy or clean? It’s in an in between right now. Like I need to go wash some dishes but overall this is a pretty good state for it to be in at the moment.

What color are your eyes? Green! They kind of change, so sometimes there are little hints of brown. When I cry they tend to look more blue.

Do you like your name? why? I do. I feel like I look like a Jessica? I don’t really know, I guess at this point in my life I’ve just gotten comfortable with it and I don’t really see a reason to dislike it. 

What is your relationship status? In a relationship. A little over three months in. 

Describe your personality in 3 words or less. Emotional, empathetic, hilarious What color hair do you have? Currently red. Who knows what color it’ll end up next though.

What kind of car do you drive? color? Lol I don’t even have a license 

Where do you shop? Target. Amazon. Thrift stores. 

How would you describe your style? Comfortable chic sometimes. Usually just whatever’s clean tho. I clean up nice when I have the energy to put effort in

Favorite social media account? Of mine? Idk, probably here because I can talk about how I’m feeling with nothing held back and it’s recieved well. I posted about having struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression on Facebook/Instagram for World Suicide Prevention Day and distant relatives wanted to have me fucking committed so yeah, definitely not those.  Of someone else’s, I’d probably have to say @  _picolo on instagram. he’s super talented

What size bed do you have? I think it’s a king? I really don’t know

Any siblings? Two brothers. One older and one younger. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I think I would stick with California. It’s all I’ve ever really known but I love it so much. Maybe Florida though because it’s always been a dream of mine to intern/work for TWLOHA in some capacity.0

Favorite snapchat filter?

This one.

Favorite makeup brand(s)?: I only really buy eyeshadow palettes when I splurge so I’d have to say Too Faced, Morphe, Anastacia Beverly Hills (but only for their Modern Renaissance palette). I really wanna try the Naked Heat Palette from Urban Decay next.

How many times a week do you shower? It fluctuates. I take a shower when I feel dirty

Favorite tv show? Twin Peaks. Bob’s Burgers. The Office. Shoe size? 10-11 in women’s

How tall are you? 5′5 Sandals or sneakers? Sneakers. I own a lot of Vans or shoes that look like Vans that cost a lot less

Do you go to the gym? No, but I want to start soon.

Describe your dream date. Like a combination of all the dates my boyfriend has taken me on. We have a lot of the same interests and have the same low tolerance of other people so that’s really nice How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? No physical cash. But I have like 6 dollars in my bank account.

What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing any How many pillows do you sleep with? Minimum of two. I also have a stuffed animal with me too cause I’m adult and I can do what I want

Do you have a job? what do you do? I’m a customer service supervisor at Whole Foods and I work in our cash office too. Can’t wait for the holidays to be over so ya girl can look for a new fucking job How many friends do you have? Like maybe 2? I don’t know. I don’t really have many anymore

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? That I’ve actually done or that men just assumed I did because I’ve got big titties and a fat ass and they don’t trust me around other men? Cause my last ex accused me of cheating on him with multiple coworkers of mine and then used my thumb to unlock my phone while I was sleeping and went thru all my text messages/facebook messages/twitter and instagram DMs and when he couldn’t find anything he accused me of deleting the proof :) 3 favorite boy names. Thomas, Russell, Victor.

3 favorite girl names. Eleanor, Lucille, Chloe  Favorite actor? John Boyega. Charlie Hunnam. Hayden Christiansen but only in Life as a House. 

Favorite actress? I have a soft spot in my heart for Kate Winslet because she played Clementine in Eternal Sunshine. Amy Jo Johnson but because of Flashpoint.

Who is your celebrity crush? Charlie Hunnam & Ryan Hurst from Sons of Anarchy. Kyle MacLachlan in his Twin Peaks days. 

Favorite movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Dead Poet’s Society. Trolls. Nightmare on Elm Street. 

Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot. The depression I’ve been battling back and forth the last year has been stealing it away from me but I’m trying to get back to it. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig was a beautiful book. I also love Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Money or brains? Brains. Money might make life easier but I’d rather have someone I can talk to. That knows how to do things on their own.

Do you have a nickname? what is it? One summer when I was about 15, I was camping with my family and my cousins had started calling me Jizzy. It slowly turned into Jessikee and then my cousin Melissa turned that into Jessikee Shitdick. I usually just go by Jessikee tho

How many times have you been to the hospital? Not very many for myself. Maybe like three or four times total in my entire life and it was when I was small and I would wake up sick and I’d have trouble breathing.

Do you take any medications daily? Besides birth control, I don’t take anything daily. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Dry as fuck. 

What is your biggest fear? Letting people down. Losing the people I love. Getting my heart broken. It’s funny because my biggest fears are things that have already happened to me and things I know that I can survive. But I still fear them happening.

How many kids do you want? I’ve never wanted to have kids. Adopting or fostering has always been on my heart but if it’s up to me, I’ll probably never have them. What’s your go to hair style? Usually either pinned back bangs and a messy bun or a headband and a messy bun.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) If 8 people didn’t live here it would be a pretty nice size. Kinda cramped atm tho Who is your role model? My Aunt Debbie. She’s been through things that I can’t even fathom and she’s just super fucking strong

What was the last compliment you received? My boyfriend told me that I brought back his faith in love when he didn’t think it existed. My fucking heart. What was the last text you sent? “What is that candle scent that reminds me of my dad called” to my aunt 

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I honestly don’t remember. Probably right around the time my dad died and I realized that all the magic from my life was gone anyway What is your dream car? Literally fucking anything that would get me from point a to point b

Opinion on smoking? I smoke a cigarette when I get too drunk because I feel like it sobers me up. I don’t really drink anymore though and if I do it’s not to a point that I feel drunk so I told that secret for nothing. Anyway I don’t really care for it but people will do what they please. Do you go to college? No, but I’d like to.

What is your dream job? I’d love to be a published writer. Or a singer. I’ve dreamed of those since I was a little girl.

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural would be more beautiful but if I’m about to get murdered, I don’t want to have to run 5 miles before you come across another house

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I don’t go to hotels enough to take them. So, no. Do you have freckles? Yeah, but not super obvious ones like my little brother.  Do you smile for pictures? No cause I hate my smile!!! I usually make a face

How many pictures do you have on your phone?  2,289

Have you ever peed in the woods? Literally the last time I went on a hike I had to pee in the woods because I thought I was never gonna see a bathroom again Do you still watch cartoons? I fall asleep to Adult Swim every night. I also love cartoons and animated movies so hell yes.

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonald’s I guess. 

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet n Sour What do you wear to bed? Depends. If it’s cold, leggings and a long tee. If it’s hot or in the middle, usually just underwear and a long tee. Have you ever won a spelling bee? No, but I always got A’s on my spelling tests in high school when I didn’t study when my friends would scrape by with C’s even though they stayed up the night before to cram so that kinda feels the same

What are your hobbies? I’m kind of relearning these. I love to write. I love reading. Playing games. Going to the craft store and finding little projects I want to undertake. Can you draw? Absolutely not

Do you play an instrument? I wish, but no.

What was the last concert you saw? I honestly can’t remember. Probably Being As An Ocean a couple years ago? Or I guess Warped last year counts Tea or coffee? Coffee. I hate tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dutch Bros, y’all

Do you want to get married? I really, really, really do.

What is your crush’s first and last initial? VM Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah, probably. Maybe hyphenate if it sounds okay. My last name is one of the only things I feel that I have of my dad What color looks best on you? Probably green. 

Do you miss anyone right now? My boyfriend. He lives in Oakland and we only really get to spend the weekends together because of opposing schedules

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t know What is your biggest pet peeve? People fucking chewing with their mouths open

Last person you called? My mom Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry’s Chocolatta Cookie Core

Regular oreos or golden oreos? There was a limited edition Oreo that was cookie butter with golden oreo and I fuck with that heaaaaaaavy Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Fucking neither. 

What shirt are you wearing? A faux vintage looking Duck Tales shirt that I bought from the Hot Topic clearance bin a couple years ago

What is your phone background? It’s a little adorable poop emoji looking dude and a banner that says I feel like shit but I’m not going to let it stop me Are you outgoing or shy? I’m actually pretty fucking shy Do you like it when people play with your hair? To the point where I can only let my boyfriend do it because it definitely turns me on a little Do you like your neighbors? The neighbor directly to our left is a fucking shit for brains bitch. The lady to the left of her is an angel though and makes us food all the time and always offers us free wine Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I need to start taking better care of my skin yall Have you ever been high? Plenty of times Have you ever been drunk? A good handful. In March, I had an experience where I almost landed in the hospital so I’ve kind of stayed away from it Last thing you ate? Homemade chicken pot pie Favorite lyrics right now? directed @ all the men who hurt me and are now trying to wiggle back into my life

Baby, fineness is the way to kill Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger, better things Bet right now this stings 

Or basically all of Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato cause that song is catchy as fuuuuuuuuck  Summer or winter? Wiiiiiiiinter 

Day or night? I’ve had insomnia since I was 7 years old, so night. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? White chocolate and I know it’s not real chocolate but suuuuuuuck my dick and get the hell outta town  Favorite month? October. I fucking love Halloween What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My boyfriend. He told me a really special story and I wept like a little bb

[thelastifntdragonrider]

HI! I’m putting all of the things i’ve been tagged in from the past couple of weeks that i haven’t answered yet bc i’m working hard on an admission portfolio for university and i really want to get into Sheridan, so yep lots of work and lots of art. i am also working on the HTTYD fandom reading (please sign up) and the next chapters of J’Imagine and No Cannon Shall Sink This Ship. Anyways, onto the tagged: 

get to know me meme: tagged by @animalsarepeople2​ thank youuuu! 

nicknames: Kei / Keiko *i explain this in a question down there somewhere 

Gender: Female 

Star Sign: Libra

MBTI Type: INFJ 

Height: 163cm 

Time: 17:07 (by the time I finished all of these it’s 18:36) 

Birthday: February 25 

Favourite Bands: Beatles, Young Rising Sons, Clean Bandits, Lovelyz, Infinite 

Favourite Solo Artists: Ailee, Ed Sheeran 

Song Stuck in My Head: 1cm by Lovelyz 

Last Movie Watched: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp

Last Show Watched: I just binge watched Stranger Things 

When I created my blog: July 15, 2013/June 27, 2017

What I post about: httyd, animated movies, animation

Last thing I Googled: information about Sheridan and character rotation 

Other blogs I have: my main blog @tokkeiko

Following: 100, though I want to find more good blogs, any recs anyone? 

Followers: in total from both blogs, 200 or something 

Favourite colour: Green 

Average hours of sleep: 8-ish 

Lucky number: 7

Instruments: piano, oboe 

What I’m wearing: jeans and my current favourite sweater which is grey with gold spots 

Number of blankets: I need to remember to find another one bc my room is freezing when I wake up in the morning

Dream Job: story artist at Disney 

Dream trip: i just want to get out of my city rn 

Favourite food: i’m just hungry rn, give me anything, but favourite food, among others, is salted caramel truffle blizzard from the good old DQ (#lovemydq) 

Music ask, tagged by @yv-sketches THANKS!!!! 

10 songs that you are listening to right now; 

my current favourite playlist is called Shut Up and Dance:

“Elle Me Dit” Mika 

“Red Balloon” Charli XCX 

“Dancing in the Dark” Rihanna 

“Shut Up and Dance” Walk the Moon

“Red and Gold” Young Rising Sons 

“Can’t Stop the Feeling” Justin Timberlake 

“Better When I’m Dancing” Meghan Trainor 

“I Bet My Life” Imagine Dragons 

“Into a Fantasy” Alexander Rybak 

“Get Back Up Again” Anna Kendrick

Tag Game, taggged by @thepurplewriter333 ty friend-o! 

Nicknames: Keiko/Kei/Spirit/Sweet Potato 

Gender: Female

Star Sign; Pisces 

Height: 163cm 

Sexuality: probably straight 

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff!!!

Favourite animals: uhhhh... orcas probably 

Average hours spent sleeping: 8 i think, i’m not bothering with math rn 

Dogs or cats: KITTY, all of my sibilings have a significant other and all of their significant others’ have cats and why can’t I have a s/o with a cat???

number of blankets sleeping: during the winter, aka now already, two 

Dream trip: geeeeetttt meeeee ouuuuttt offf thissss citttyyyyy

Dream job: Story artist at Disney 

when I made this account: June 27. 2017

why I made this account: bc i wanted a place to reblog all of the httyd stuff without loosing followers on my other blog 

# of followers: like 47, I think? I recently got more. follow me i am cool person 

92 statements, tagged by @thepurplewriter333 thanks for the double tag! 

Last: 

Drink: Tim Hortons’ Double Double (got to stay caffeinatedddddddd) 

 Phone Call: Home to get a ride home 

Text message: Friend to go hang out later

Song You Listened To: Shooting Star by Lovelyz

Time You Cried: uhhhhhhhh... oh, like a month ago, it was a bad week and then I watched Home and my emotions were already out of wack so I basically sobbed near the end 

Have you: 

Dated someone twice: Nope 

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope, i’m boring

Been cheated on: nope 

Lost someone special: nope 

Been depressed: i feel like it’s hard to be a university student and not get depressed 

Gotten drunk and thrown up: i am a boring party person and yeah, no i haven’t 

List 3 favourite colours: 

Green

Blue 

Gold 

In the last year have you: 

made new friends: Yeahhhh

fallen out of love: nopppeee...?

Laughed until you cried: like every other day

Found someone was talking about you: in a good way; nope. In a bad way: yeah too many times

found out who your friends are: yeahhhhhh

kissed someone on your FB list: okay someday, i’ll have more interesting answers 

General: 

how many FB friends do you know IRL: 99% of them 

Do you have any pets: nope 

Do you want to change your name: i recently thought about dropping my middle name, but like it has significance to my parents so probably won’t happen and my middle name doesn’t do anything so idk 

what did you do for your last birthday: Keep in mind that I turned 18: my friends and I went to Build-A-Bear and they got me a Build-A-Bear Toothless. 

What time do you wake up: my alarms on early days are 7:00, 7:05, 7:15, 7:25, 7:35, 7:45, 8:00. I naturally wake up at 9-ish 

What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping :D 

Name something you can’t wait for: to (hopefully) get accepted into Sheridan and start a new adventure out there.

When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s in the kitchen with me 

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish that I could’ve figured out what I wanted to do with life so that I could’ve started Sheridan this year 

What are you listening to right now: Sheridan portfolio reviews, tips, etc. (Starting to see a pattern here?) 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: friend’s dad. he’s a cool dad. 

Something that is getting on your nerves: when people are packing up their stuff before the professor is finished talking in the last 5 minutes of class. URGH stop moving ppl this stuff is important 

Most visited website: FB, YT, tumblr 

Mole(s): couple

Mark(s): I have freckles (might be moles) on each cheek under both eyes. 

Childhood dream: when you’re a kid, you’re really only exposed to teacher, doctor, police man and whatever your parents are. I think I defaulted to an artist when adults asked. 

Hair colour: black, I have silver hairs though, they stick out on the black hair a lot 

long or short hair: I always grow my hair out and then cut off 12 inches to donate to cancer wigs  

Do you have a crush on someone: not currently, though i had a crush on a guy for like 5 years, so even now, 5 years later, I get happy when I think about him 

Piercings: no, i really think a conch piercing would be nice though 

Blood type: ... A I think, i’ve never gotten tested, but according to genetics, I should be an A 

Nicknames: my full name is Keiko, but everyone called me Kei as a kid, but during high school, I started introducing myself as Keiko, so some people call me Kei, some people call me Keiko, one of them is a nickname, depending on which way you think about it, 

Relationship Status: Egg salad. 

Zodiac: Pisces 

Pronouns: She/her

Favourite TV show: Friends 

Right or left handed: Right, but recently I’ve been trying to teach myself to draw with my left hand 

Surgery: Wisdom teeth 

Hair dyed a different colour: nope, but I think I might try a ombre some day 

Sports: ballet since I was 4ish, ballet is a sport, come fight me on it if you dare 

Vacation: a lot of camping when I was younger, I’ve been to Japan twice, and then places across Canada

Pair of trainers: are we talking about trainers as in shoes? bc then ankle high all black vans. 

More General: 

Eating: this is taking so long I stopped and had supper between these sections

Drinking: Double Double (Tim’s coffee, two creams, two sugars), gotta stay AWaaaaaaaaaaKE

I’m about to: draw character designs or go out to coffee shop to study with friends 

Want: to get into Sheridan so so so so so badly 

Get married: I’m still single, want to put my career first, so yep not for a little while 

Career: i’m a cake decorator rn, see my cakes on my insta @tanakeiart 

Hugs or Kisses: hUG mE

Lips or eyes: Eyes, (though I am supper bad at making eye contact) 

Shorter or taller: would be nice to be slightly taller... 

Older or younger: like to date or something? I think high school rule is a good rule, but rn looking at niners mAN they are tiny

Nice arms or stomach: arms to hug meeeeee

Sensitive or loud: i think I would need a loud person to compliment me 

Hook up or relationship: relationship bc you have a standing plus one to everything and rn being single I have to text like 5 friends to find someone to go with me to something 

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 

Have you ever: 

kissed a stranger: Nope 

Drank hard liquor: I only have like four months until my 19th so like i’ll go drinking then 

Lost Glasses/contact lenses: funny story: family and i were in Japan and we were at Kinkaku-ji and then i realize that one of my eyes have gone fuzzy, so thinking that there is something on the lens, i take my glasses off and my lens had fallen out of the frame. my family literally crawled around trying to find my lost lens, we did find it, but we couldn’t find a small screw that would hold the lens in. my dad fixed it with a twist tie.

turned someone down: nobody likes me so nobody has asked me so i have never turned someone down 

broken someone’s heart: no 

had your heart broken: yeah, by a friend. It is shATTERing 

been arrested: not even a parking ticket in my name 

cried when someone died: no, i am some kind of emotionless egg

fallen for a friend: my heart easily leaps and often trips falls and gets lost

Do you believe in:

yourself: yes, I believe that I can get in, I believe that I can be what I want to be. 

Miracles: I believe in karma more than miracles 

Love at first sight: yes, but not in the way that media portrays it 

Santa claus: nah 

Kiss on the first date: this is weirdly phrased. 

other: 

current best friend name: becky 

Eye colour: brown 

Favourite movie: the other day i was procrastinating and made an official list of favourite movies, which still has a lot of ties: 1/2: httyd 1/2, 3/4: moana, big hero 6, 5/6/7: wreck it ralph, tangled, rise of the guardians,  8/9/10: back to the future 1-3 

wow that took a lot of time, but thanks for tagging me! I’m tagging @thepurplewriter333 @yv-sketches and @animalsarepeople2 on the ones that you didn’t tag me in! also tagging @katlikespie @crazilexa and @fading-shadows for whichever one/s you want to do! 

[halfcupofcoffee-blog]

Idk the number, but does anyone rly care?

So! I’ve been in college for 59 days by now. I know I said I was gonna keep updating but I’ve been busy okaaayyyyyy

Anyway, Philadelphia has been really good. I haven’t gone much of anywhere despite being here for two months. I went around Center City with Jimmy a couple weeks ago, and it was amazing. I love the city so much, and I wish it wasn’t a 30 minute bus ride from campus. We aimlessly walked around for hours and Jimmy used me as a model for his photos, which was super awkward for me, but he somehow got some really nice photos. He's posted some on his account I think, I’ll paste a link at the bottom of this post. 

Classes are good. I have a design class where I have to do a lot of painting, which is a lot of work, and I’m not getting the results I want so that one’s annoying. But I somehow have a B in the class. I have a drawing class where I have an A. We started using models for figure drawing last week and it was suuuppppeeerrrr awkward. 

Those are the only classes I have that go toward my major this semester. The others are annoying. I have a College Algebra class which I'm pretty sure I’m failing, but the professor give out extra credit like it’s candy, so I think I’ll be okay. 

Debating U.S. Issues is a class I have to take for like character building or something, and I only have to take it once thank god, but I hate it. I don’t do well talking to a bunch of people and speaking my opinion to people I don’t even know is proving to be difficult. I got a 68 on my first paper and honestly I worked rly hard on it and I’m very disappointed. My professor allows rewrites so I might redo it and get a better grade. I’m pretty sure I don’t have a good grade in that class. 

I have a writing class too. Which I love so much. I almost wish I’d stuck with being an English Major. I think it would have been less work honestly, but I like the idea of making movies one day. But I’ve been doing really well on the essays I have had to write. It’s only two so far, but the first one was what my definition of home is, and honestly I had so many things to put in that my paper turned out to be 6 pages and one of the best in the class. The second paper isn’t due until Monday, but it’s on Discourse Community and I picked Twenty One Pilots’ fan base. Rough Drafts were due last Wednesday and my Professor really liked it. Also he wears a bowtie and he’s been my favorite professor so far other than my Drawing Professor. 

I have small pangs of being homesick. Mainly on Sundays because I force myself to watch the live stream my hometown church does before I force myself out of bed to go to Jimmy’s house. I talk to GiGGles nearly everyday and I talk to my dog in the process. I miss my dog more than anything. 

I’m kidding. I really miss my sister and my aunt. My mother would be offended if I said I didn’t miss her too, but honestly I didn’t actually see her a lot. Same with my dad. It’s not their fault, we all worked and our schedules didn’t match up a lot. I’m just used to not seeing them a lot. 

I saw GiGGles, my aunt, and my dog a lot, so clearly I miss them more.

My room mate is still really nice. I think she hates my alarm clock because all of her classes start after mine, so I’m up first usually. This morning I had to get up at 6 to go to a school work thing and I swear I thought she wanted to kill me. 

Weird side note, I am always way more willing to get out of bed at 6am than I am at like 9am. it’s annoying and doesn’t make any sense. My alarm went off at 5:30 and I almost went a head and got up, but decided I could lie around until 6. I’m a little tired now and could actually take a serious nap right about now, but at the time I was completely fine getting up early. 

Anyway, that’s all I think....I don’t know what else to talk about. Sorry this post is both long and boring. 

Jimmy’s Photography :)

[dreamofcentipedes]

I've seen 3 way of interpreting the color cover: Death (obviously with how the chapter ended), Loss of Virginity (her offer to Kaneki when he's ready and /or considering sex as a way to get him to stay, and flowers used in poems and literature as a symbol of a young woman's virginity, lastly (and least likely to me) pregnancy (flowers also meaning new life, the red either meaning loss virginity or childbirth going along with Touka offer of sex resulting in a One Eyed Prince/Princess)

do u think this chapter is a death flag for touka?

do you think the blood splatter on the colour page might be hinting that mutsuki might stab touka with one of her knives or something?

Idk if anyone asked this before, but there’s been death flags already marked on touka from the latest chapter and I just want to know you’re opinion and what you think. Considering how the chapter ended, I’m really worried and concerned for her.

Hi! So according to the colored page of latest chapter. I guess you’ve seen the 3 possibilities of what might happen to Touka. I would like to hear what you think about it. I highly doubt that she would die, Ishida sensei doesn’t kill characters lightly especially if it doesn’t serve the story (which I think is applied on Touka right now). Also her expression in the picture doesn’t imply bad thing happening, but more like she’s happy? I mean even if she were to die I don’t think it will be now..

Or pregnancy.

Dude the stain on toukas stomach kinda looks like a ukaku kagune. What if the color page is implying pregnancy?

rebeccastarlight: The blood splatter on the cover page it also looks like she’s going to die from childbirth

I wasn’t really a believer of the cover page implying that Touka became pregnant, but I recently saw a reddit post about it. [You can probably find it on the front page.] So anyways, it talked about the poem Ishida made a year ago, “Her womb smelled like it was burnt”. Bad sign already, but if you go through the translated lyrics its even worse. It also straightforwardly says the children meant to be born, had died. Do you think that relates to whats happening now? ItAlsoWouldLeadToParallelling 

Wow, this is a really popular question, huh? Well, really it’s two and a half questions: 1) Will Touka die next chapter? 2) Will Touka get pregnant? 2.5) Will it end tragically? But since they’re all related to the cover picture, I’ll answer them all here before saying what I think is going to happen.

Q: Will Touka die next chapter?

A: No way Jose. If I’ve learnt anything from all that I’ve ever read, watched or played, it’s that female deuteragonists are IMMORTAL. Even more so than protagonists on some occasions. Don’t worry about the death flags, because this arc will be a parallel of the original Anteiku Raid arc, and you know who had a ton of death flags back then and who Touka has been paralleling since the start of :re? Old man Yoshimura! Who, despite it all, is still alive (if not kickin’). Touka won’t die - it’s far more likely that she’s going to get captured like her predecessor, probably as bait for Kaneki. 

Q: Will Touka get pregnant, and will it end in tragedy?

A: Unlikely. That would require a 9-month timeskip to pay off, and things are way too hectic in the story right now to allow for something like that. The alternative would be that it’s foreshadowing for the epilogue, but it seems a bit strange to do that so early on and before Kaneki and Touka have even done the deed. It’s also not something that really needs to be foreshadowed because it would be part of the denouement rather than the actual plot. I don’t think it’s ukaku kagune since Ishida always draws blood with artistic flair in his colour art, and the drops over her breasts are unmistakably blood. As for the flowers, those are Kaneki’s signature flower, sweet olives, and they represent him.

Where the stillbirth/death in childbirth theories are concerned, I really doubt Ishida would kill off Touka so needlessly in the story’s epilogue of all places, and killing the baby would be equally pointless as we’ve seen Kuzen and Ukina (moar parallels) manage it. As one of these anons has already said, Ishida always has a point to his tragedy; he wouldn’t just throw either of those things in at the story’s conclusion for the sake of squeezing our tear ducts, especially since it would have nothing to do with the plotline of Tokyo Ghoul and, again, an epilogue is supposed to unwind tension rather than wrack it up.

What I think is going to happen

I think the blood on her stomach is indicative of a wound inflicted by Mutsuki. But it’s not just going to be any wound that’ll regenerate in a week - I think that out of jealousy, Mutsuki is going to damage Touka’s womb beyond repair. Since Ghouls have high-speed regenerative abilities, the only way to ensure that the womb won’t grow back would be to tear it out of her body, or maybe even eat it (we’ve already seen Mutsuki feed from bodies, and it could serve to parallel Ayato eating her kakuhou in the original series). Sexual mutilation would fit Mutsuki’s parallels with Torso and Nutcracker, and Kaneki and Touka talking about sex foreshadows that specific calamity more than a general death - especially since we’ve seen how good Touka is with kids in Ch 120. It also allows the aforementioned poem to fit in - “The children who were meant to be born, died” - referring to Touka’s ability to reproduce being robbed from her. 

So I think sad times are ahead for Touka, but she will live on. And isn’t Hinami kind of her and Kaneki’s kid already?

[misleading2nowhere]

Skylight Book Gerard Signing

Where. To. Begin. 

This is basically more for me than for anyone else, but I wanted to get this written down so that I would never forget this awesome night. Am I being a little over dramatic? Yeah. And that’s okay! I’m still that same little 8th-grade fangirl who adored MCR when I first held their brand new Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge album in my hands when a friend handed it to me in Mr. Stone’s history class back in 2004. 

But I digress… Here’s how tonight went down. 

A friend of mine (Anna, the most amazing girl ever who is my Gerard guru) posted about the signing a few days ago. I live in Los Angeles, and it was on a Friday night, so I knew I’d be able to go. I purchased a book online and they gave me a ticket for the signing. 

I showed up early to scope out the place and the area since I wasn’t really familiar with it. I also usually tend to go to these things by myself because I’ve always been kind of a loner and also no one else usually wants to go, haha. But I always end up befriending other fans who are there, so it always works out. 

Once the chairs were set up, I got a seat in the 2nd row and asked the girls next to me if they could save my seat so that I could go out and smoke (don’t smoke, kids. It’s a disgusting habit.). On my way out, I ran into Jeremy Lambert, the first “Crow” victim from Worm and Gerard’s Charity Livestream a few weeks ago! I stopped and said, “Oh my god! You’re Jeremy!” and he recognized me, but he couldn’t place where he knew me from. I laughed and said, “I’m gerard_ways_nose_twin” from the Livestream!

He laughed and said, “Oh my god! I can’t believe it’s you! I knew I recognized you!” and we ended up talking about the Livestream, moving from our hometowns to Los Angeles, the horrors of BeanBoozled and other random fun things. He was the sweetest! I asked if I could take a picture with him, which he sweetly agreed to and then I gave him a hug before I went outside. 

When I came back, I saw that the seats in the front row which were previously reserved had the sign removed. I asked the two girls next to me who saved my seat if they wanted the front row, but they declined. I asked them if they wouldn’t mind if I sat there and they told me to go for it, so I did! I ended up getting front row, center for the Q&A! It would have been perfect if we were allowed to take pictures, but they were super strict about it, so I didn’t even bring my camera in. I’m kind of bummed, but I was just so grateful to be there. 

Luckily, I was able to pull out my phone and get an audio recording of the interview, which you can listen to HERE! 

The Q&A went on for about 40 minutes and I even got the opportunity to ask a question! I asked, “When you started writing comics for such a big company like DC- if you can recall, what was something that surprised you that was the most difficult for you to grasp and get over in order to release your comics?” They all sort of paused and I felt awkward and said, “It’s kind of a loaded question…” And Gerard followed up with, “No, it’s good! I’m trying to think…” 

I guess Jon was confused by my question (I really didn’t word it very well, I was so nervous) and he asked, “So, what, was it like any preconceived notions we might have had?” And I answered, “Yeah! I mean, something that surprised you that you didn’t think would be that difficult or would be that fun or-“

Then, Jon and Gerard just started laughing and Gerard said, “Monthly comics!” Then for the next few minutes, Gerard and Jon went back and forth, laughing about the overwhelming stress that is Monthly Comics and then Cecil and Jody gave their opinions as well, which were all amazing, so if you have time, listen to the recording because it was so awesome getting to listen to their insight on things! 

Anyway, I could go on and on about that. SO, moving on. The panel was fantastic and I never get tired of listening to their intellectual banter regarding the projects that they have put so much passion into. It’s really inspiring and I’m grateful to have witnessed it! 

After the panel came the signing. I was number 13 out of about 50 people, so I was one of the first people to go up. Here’s how it went down:

Gerard: Oh, hey! Me: Hi guys!  Gerard: How are you doing?! Cecil: You had a great question! Me: Oh, thank you! Thank you for… answering? (omg why am I so awkward… and then I looked over at Gerard and facetiously said) Nose Twin! Gerard: I know, right?! Thank you so much for donating during the stream! Me: *laughing nervously* Oh yeah! That was so…. *I was suddenly lost for words because I’m a star-struck fool* Cecil: Do you just want a signature? Or did you want your name? (We were given post-it notes with our names if we wanted the books personalized) Me: Uhh… I think I have my name somewhere in there… - It’s Krista *flips to the first page of the book* - there we go! Cecil: Oh! Okay! *laughs* Me: *Looking at Gerard* Someday… I know not today (because they were being strict about pictures) but I think it would be really cool if we got a picture of our noses together! Gerard: Oh, yeah, yeah yeah! I think that’d be fun! Me: *laughing and blushing like a fool in response as Gerard signs my name in the book* Thanks, Nose Twin! Gerard: *smiles and writes ‘Nose Twin’* Me: Thank you for being a good sport about it. Gerard: Yeah! Me: You know, I’m just messing with you *laughs* Gerard: Oh, yeah! No! I think it’s fun! Me: *Pulls out paper with Scottish runes on it* Umm, if you don’t mind, I’m actually very Scottish… Gerard: Oh, cool. Me: -and I’d like to get some Scottish runes tattooed… Gerard: Okay! Me: Would you mind drawing a couple? Gerard: You want me to just draw them? *points on paper* Yeah, yeah, yeah! Jody: *holding my comic book* Do you want us all to sign this? Me: If you don’t mind, yeah, that would be great! It’s really a pleasure to meet you guys. Jon: It’s a pleasure to meet you as well! Me: How are you guys doing? *Gerard hands me the rune drawings* Thank you so much! Jon: We’re doing great! We’re having a lot of fun. Me: I’m so glad! Jon: These are great (referring to small signing events) because they’re so chill and we all like each other *signaling to everyone on the panel* and it’s nice *laughs* It’s not work at all. Me: Very cool! *shaking Gerard’s hand* It was so nice to see you again! *Shakes Jody and Jon’s hands (Cecil was talking with another fan)* It was really nice to meet you both. I’ll see you guys around! Jon / Jody / Gerard: Thank you! Me: *Proceeds to run into bookshelf and runs away because I’m an awkward p.o.s.*

WHEW! So that was the signing. 

So, it’s already been an amazing night, and I go outside to call my Mom and check in on her. After I’m done, the bookstore has pretty much cleared out and everyone left the signing and the panelists are just hanging out inside, so I thought I’d take a chance and go to talk to them. I ran into Jody first, who was talking with Blake, a really nice guy who works at DC as well and who asked the questions during the Q&A. He stopped me and here’s how that conversation happened: 

Blake: I just have to say… It was so fun watching you during that panel. Me: Umm… what? Blake: *laughs* You were just so excited to be here! You were just so happy! Me: *awkwardly laughing and blushing* Oh my gosh! I mean… yeah! I am excited! Blake: Yeah, you know, a lot of the people had such a dead-pan stare, but not you! You were just very excited and thrilled to be here. Me: Yeah, of course! Oh wow… that’s a little embarrassing that it was that obvious. Jody: No! It’s a good thing! 

This actually really made me feel good because I always make it a point to watch the panelists who are speaking. I know that I am there to see Gerard first and foremost, but that doesn’t mean that I have to creepily stare at him the whole time? Idk, I just think that it’s disrespectful to ignore the other panelists, so the fact that someone actually noticed something like that was funny to me. Anyway, so after that:

Me: *turning to Jody* Umm… I know that there isn’t supposed to be any pictures allowed tonight, but would you mind taking a picture with me? Blake: *playfully* Oh, that’s only referring to Gerard. These guys aren’t famous enough to not want pictures. Jody: *laughs* Of course I’ll take a picture! 

*We take the picture a couple of times because she didn’t like her hair in the first couple, haha!*

So then I told her how nice it was to meet her and then I walked over to Cecil and Jon and before I could even ask for a picture, Cecil praised me about my question again. She said that it was a really good question and I was really flattered that she thought it was a good one! 

I then asked for a picture and they asked if I wanted a separate picture with each of them or one of us together, and I said whatever they wanted and they decided to have one altogether. They took a moment to decide on where they wanted the picture because they wanted to take it in front of Cecil’s books, but she said that Jon would block them all with his height anyway, so it didn’t matter, haha! I then asked if I could be “sandwiched” in between them for the picture and Jody offered to take the picture while Blake was trying to get Jon to laugh the whole time. 

After that, I thanked them all again for taking the time to come out and meet the fans. They all said that they loved being there and then we talked about how pretty the bookshop was for awhile before I left to go look at more books. When I went to the back corner, I didn’t even notice Gerard kneeling behind the shelf I was approaching and when he popped up from behind it, he scared the crap out of me. I turned around awkwardly and I think he was embarrassed, so he went over to talk to Jon, and that’s when I thought, “what the hell, I’m going to see if he’ll take that nose twin picture I talked about!” So I approached him and here’s what was said: 

Me: Hey again! So… I’m so sorry to bother you… I know that you’re not wanting to do pictures today, but I just had to ask… would you mind taking our Nose picture together? Gerard: *chuckling* Okay, sure! Me: Awesome! Thank you so much! Jon: Do you want me to take it? Me: Yeah, that would be great! *hands him my phone before turning to Gerard awkwardly* Umm… so how are we gonna do this? Gerard: Uhhh… Me: I mean, do we, like, face each other? Jon: You want your noses, right? Gerard: *nervously* I think we would just take it like a normal picture? Me: *secretly bummed because I wanted a nose-to-nose picture, but realized how uncomfortable that would be for him and was just happy to get any sort of picture with him* Okay! Umm.. do I put my arm around you? (omfg why am I so awkward, I want to punch myself in the face) Gerard: Yeah! *puts his arm around me* Jon: *take like 10 pictures* Me: Thank you so much! I really appreciate you being so kind about it. Gerard: Oh yeah, of course!

And then we said our goodbyes and I went outside again to smoke and gush to my friends about what just happened! 

THEN, I looked in the window and the store was pretty empty and Gerard was just browsing the books by himself. I probably shouldn’t have… I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m usually so much more reserved, but I couldn’t stop myself, and I went inside to talk to him. 

Me: Hey Gerard! Gerard: Hi! Me: I’m so sorry to bother you again, I just wanted to thank you for being so kind and patient with your fans. Gerard: Oh, it’s not a problem at all. Me: I mean… do you ever get tired of seeing the same fans all the time? Gerard: *chuckling* No. Me: You can be honest! I’d get tired of fans like me. (omfg why am I even still speaking at this point, I’m such an idiot wtf) Gerard: No, not at all. Me: Well, that’s good... *awkwardly laughing* Are you excited for Thought Bubble? That’s coming up soon, right?  Gerard: Oh, yeah! I haven’t been over there in a long time, so I’m excited for it.  Me: Cool! It’s in England... right?  Gerard: Well, it’s in Leeds.  Me: *laughing* Okay, well, I’ll leave you alone, but I did want to ask you something… I heard a rumor that your favorite venue is the Metro in Chicago. Is that true? Gerard: *Gives me a weird look* Umm… no? I mean, I like the Metro, but my favorite is Irving Plaza in New York. Or The Forum here in LA. Me: Really?! Oh wow. When’s the last time you played at The Forum? Gerard: Like… Black Parade. Me: No way! Wow. Well, I hope that you get to play there again. Gerard: Thanks! Me: *Finally taking into consideration that I’m selfishly taking up his time when he probably wants to be alone and just look at books* Okay, well I’ll actually leave you alone now… do you mind if I give you a hug? Gerard: Not at all! *Gives awkward hug* Me: Thank you! I’ll see you around. Gerard: Bye! 

And that was it! SO much happened in such a short amount of time and it was so amazing! I’m just so happy that one of my idols recognized me and knows my face! It’s such a surreal feeling and I feel like such a fan girl, but I really try so hard to keep sane and be respectful of his time and his space. Idk if I have failed at that or succeeded, but it’s definitely always something that I try to keep in mind. It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re star struck and in the presence of someone that you admire so much, but again, I digress. 

I think this will probably be the last of the Gerard events for awhile. I’ve had the opportunity to meet him 5 times in the past 6 months! I can’t even believe that. I haven’t had the chance to meet him in the past 13 years that I’ve been a fan and to have all of these events happen back-to-back is so unreal and I am so grateful for each interaction we’ve had. 

I could go on and on, but I’m going to wrap it up here. If you’re still with me at this point, I commend you, and thank you for reading! 

Cheers xo

[ais-n]

some random updates and manga commentary

I read more manga than books usually, but then don’t always say much about it because idk, usually I just have a thought or two and then move on. Sometimes I do these posts where I mention a bunch of series in one place in passing. If that sounds interesting, read on. 

But first:

I’m fucking obsessed lately with One Piece Treasure Cruise somebody stop me I have problems I already spent $10 on it help

Ok, now onto manga mentions, commentary, etc:

I bought the latest Livingstone volume (4) and was all excited to continue reading that series only to realize unexpectedly the other night that it was the end of the series. MAN. It’s been awhile since I watched Deadman Wonderland but I seem to recall feeling the same way about that as Livingstone, only maybe less dramatically so, and that’s this: the creator is the same for both series, and comes up with really interesting ideas and throws in some interesting characters. But then the story itself feels like it ends before it explores the concept as deeply as it could or should. It’s not that I recall Deadman Wonderland’s ending being terrible, and it’s not that Livingstone necessarily had a bad ending either; it’s just that I feel like it ends right as it’s developing, so some of the impact is lost on me because I feel like so much more story still should have been told.

Finally got caught up (again) on Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and D.Gray-Man. I’m seriously getting worried about Hoshino’s health for DGM :( I’m so worried something will happen to her that is more permanent even than has happened already, and I’m also worried the series will not be able to end properly as a result. Which is really sad to me because I want Hoshino to be okay, and I want her and her readers to not have any regrets about the series itself. I wish she would get an assistant to draw for her while she dictates the story, if for no other reason than to preserve her health more, but I imagine she is hesitant to do so because she has such a beautiful art style and it has to be incredibly difficult to struggle against health issues when you know once upon a time you easily could do far more than now you struggle to achieve. It’s so sad :( I don’t want her to push her health beyond its limits. Ganbatte, Hoshino! :( As for Kuroshitsuji, I swear to god that series is simultaneously the most ridiculous and sometimes most amazing thing XD I’ve been pretty embarrassed by the whole pop star thing because idk lots of reasons, but that’s happened for me before on other arcs that have happened and it always swings its way back. Anyway regardless I love Ciel and Sebastian and everyone and YES UNDERTAKER YESSSSS. Also, it’s been cracking me up seeing how much Soma seems to be having a ball in the latest arc XD

Just realized I’m a couple chapters behind on Magi, that’s the next thing I need to catch up on. Also I need to check on Love Stage!! because it’s been months since I last looked. Yotsuba&! came out with a new chapter too! But I need to read it still. Same with a few BL manga I’m following whose names I’ve managed to briefly forget so I have to track that down to look for updates ugggh I’m real good at this lol

btw did I mention I watched the Seven Days live action movie awhile ago? Because I did. I liked it! I was worried I wouldn’t but I did. I mean, I fucking love Seven Days so that’s probably no surprise, I just rarely watch live action of manga or anime, especially BL, so that’s why I wasn’t sure how I’d feel. But oh my god they paid so much attention even to little idiosyncrasies and movements! Good job, guys, good job

I still need to read Haikyuu!!, I don’t know why I haven’t yet. It’s my goal to do so at some point, because so far I’ve only seen the anime and read the first 2 volumes, and I want to read everything and be up to date with others! 

I started Black Clover and was pretty excited about it but then it started pulling full on bullshit fanservice moves in the 3rd volume or something and it annoyed me so much I stopped reading... I should probably start up again but ugh, so sick of unnecessary fanservice 

WAIT have I read the latest Noragami?? ....Shit yes I did I FORGOT ok so that series THAT SERIES goddamnit I love that series...

Same with Natsume Yuujinchou like goddamn, just as soon as you think surely you won’t cry at some new story in it because surely you’re immune by now, the series is like “So anyway here’s this really bittersweet or heartwarming-slash-heartrending story I’ll casually throw out there and Bee-Tee-Dubs, just a reminder that as nice as Natsume is, his life will probably always be a pretty sad and precarious mess because he cares too much about both humans and Ayakashi”

which now that I’m thinking about it is a bit Allen Walker-like.... no wonder I love both Natsume and Allen; they both are stuck in between all these other things but don’t use it as an excuse to hurt or hate others; if anything, they hurt themselves while trying not to hurt others. I just really love characters and people who don’t use misfortune as an excuse for harming others

There’s probably more but I’m getting so distracted by this gif faded in the background on tumblr that I can’t focus omg wut

Oh right, I hope Gangsta comes back sometime in the future. They have some spin off out I think, right? Based on Marco Adriano, called Cursed? I’m debating if I should give it a try.... Actually I don’t remember, maybe I bought the first volume and haven’t read it yet lolz0r Anyway if anyone’s read it, is it as good as Gangsta? The thing is, I don’t really care about Marco, so that’s why I haven’t read it yet. Not that I hate him or anything but I feel pretty meh about reading something solely based on him so I’ve hesitated. I mostly like Gangsta primarily for Worick and secondarily for Nicolas, and then I liked others like Doug, and it’s not like I hate the rest of the characters but they work best for me as the background to Worick and Nicolas’ story. So idk.

Similarly, I gave up on Dogs! Bullets & Carnage around volume 9 mostly because I love one character (Badou all the way, motherfuckers!) and am mostly ambivalent or not in love with the rest. Badou totally carried the series for me in the beginning, when he and Heine had all those great interactions, but now Naoto’s more prominent with Heine and I’m like bleggggh not a fan of Naoto almost at all, and Heine’s okay but I feel like he’s kind of a non-character so he doesn’t really work as the primary MC for me. The pacing of the story is not the best so it makes it harder for me to care about what’s going on. Basically I just want the series to follow Badou around and tell me occasionally about the crazy shit the others are getting up to. Give me a spin off on Badou and I’ll buy that any day! Come on! Anyway so if anyone is still reading that, I’m just curious if I should keep going... I’m a little curious about what the hell is even going on with the plot and background and etc but mostly I just want more Badou :( ...wait a second, I just saw there’s a prequel called just Dogs, that may be more along the lines of the story I want to read. I want just Dogs, man! Did I read it already years ago? Fuck if I can remember...

I also gave up on Tokyo Ghoul:re after it was so incredibly different from Tokyo Ghoul and the pacing and just everything kind of fucked around with what I was hoping to read as a continuation of that series, and in particular with me wanting to see more of Kaneki. I’m months behind at this point and idk man. I will probably read further at some point because I do think it’s an interesting world and I liked a number of characters in Tokyo Ghoul quite a lot, especially Kaneki. But :re has just been... I’m trying not to say mean things lol it’s just that I guess the pacing and style and story and character designs and just everything is basically like a whole different series. Which would be fine, if that was what I wanted. But what I wanted was more Tokyo Ghoul, so I’m disappointed so far. idk. I don’t think I’ve given up completely on it. I just think I have to wait until I’m in the right mood...

That just randomly reminded me I never finished Claymore. That was another series that started out interesting but then idk. The pacing or story or what just dragged a lot after a while, or made it difficult to follow. I should finish it sometime I guess. I think I probably only have a few dozen chapters to read to end it. 

I did the same thing with Shingeki no Kyoujin/Attack on Titan... I was pretty obsessed with it when I first started reading it, then the story/style started wavering around the same time I got caught up with Japan and had to wait for new chapters, I read as chapters released for a few months, and then idk. At one point I just got too annoyed/frustrated with the series and stopped reading. I guess that’s another series where maybe I should wait until it’s ended and then read it all at once. I’m curious about some of the plot lines but I really only liked one or two characters pretty well and the rest I was ambivalent about or my feelings on them varied too much, and since I’m so character-driven as a reader/viewer I just can’t stick with series that don’t have strong and consistent plots while also having strong and consistent characters and character development. At least not week by week or month by month, one chapter at a time. It doesn’t seem to work for my attention span.

In anime news, I wish we’d get some sequels of some series like re:Zero or K Project or my god wouldn’t No. 6 be nice?? But these are all light novel based so my hopes are probably for naught. Actually, I take that back. K wasn’t based on LN, it just has novels in addition to the anime. But now I’m realizing, maybe I missed some things. That series is kind of weird with stuff all over the place and individualized outside of the anime itself so I probably missed things. Unsurprisingly, I’m sure, Shiro is my favorite, Kuro secondarily. But I primarily watched for Shiro lolz

Wow ok I just managed to use up all my time on StayFocusd rambling on all this shit so there you go, there’s a bunch of random thoughts about a bunch of random series, and I didn’t even cover everything but I had to stop somewhere I guess.

Probably no one even read this far but that’s fine; sometimes I write this even just to remember later my thoughts on some things. Like I said earlier in the year, I wanted to do Voice as my word for 2017, which means not silencing myself on stuff unnecessarily, so for things like this where I want to write a post talking about a bunch of different stuff just touching on them it’s silly to not do it if it’s something I want to do. If that makes sense.

Anyway if you are reading this, I hope you have a lovely day/night/whatever it is for you! And hey, let me know if you have thoughts on any of the series I mentioned or I guess if you want me to go more in depth on something if it was of interest to you. idk, just whatever.

Hmm maybe I’ll make a tag for these kind of posts so I can find them later... I think I’ll do “ais manga ramblings” hmmmm

[canaryatlaw]

eyes really wanna be shut right now so let’s make this quick. Today was alright I guess. I’m mad at myself for being a wimp and not wanting to go to PT in the morning but then I couldn’t fall back asleep anyway so I didn’t get any extra sleep!! ugh. so I got up and I made blueberry pancakes, because why not, they figured I could at least get some grocery shopping done, so I went and did that, fairly small trip so that’s good. came back, it was around noon, and decided I really needed to do something about the ridiculous amount of dishes in the sink, so I tackled that project, which took about 2 hours (we don’t have a dishwasher, so I had to do them all by hand). It felt good to be done, though. After that I had gotten supplies to make mini pumpkin hand pies based on a recipe I found so I set to doing that, they were fairly easy and came out pretty damn good (use store bought dough is brilliant, I don’t know why I ever put myself through making dough from scratch) so I was pleased with that. While I was doing that there was an email exchange about small group tonight, with one of the guys I sat next to last week asking if anyone wanted to go get dinner beforehand, so I said sure, and we ended up being the only two, lol. I obviously knew it wasn’t a date, but it still felt a little bit like a date, lol. So I got ready and I met him down in an area close to church that has a lot of good restaurants. he’s from the suburbs but just moved to the city recently so he doesn’t know like any restaurants, but we decided on this wood-fired pizza place that looked pretty good. the menu was like, almost entirely words we couldn’t understand, lol. we ended up googling quite a few of them to figure out what the hell was going on. I ended up staying simple, fresh mozzarella, tomato sauce, and basil, and it came out pretty good, except the crust was kind of soggy in the center which was less than ideal. He wasn’t crazy about his and ended up eating like half of it, while I ate all of mine (and did not feel self conscious about it because there’s nothing wrong with finishing my damn meal). Meanwhile the conversation was pretty good, he works for google in developing technologies and such, and they send him to a bunch of different places on work trips, he said he ends up in China like once a month and he just found out he's getting sent to California on Monday. He kind of casually slipped out that he broke up with his ex-fiance about two months ago, and I kind of got the feeling the small group was sort of his first attempt at being social since that happened. We talked about theatre for a while, because he’s done some work with portable mics and how to make them more invulnerable to sweat, so I talked about tour and everything along with that, and it was pretty nice. He’s like, kinda cute, not a total stunner but he’s decent. When we finished we started walking down to the church, and we were talking about traffic tickets because he said he had a bit of a problem with driving too fast, and he was talking about this female ASA who he apparently had on more than one case and she was supposedly aggressive which he (potentially?) interpreted to be because she felt like she wasn’t being taken seriously because she was a woman, and at that point referred to her as a “feminazi” at which point I was like LOL NOPE any brownie points you earned throughout the night just went down the drain. as he continued to talk about it I told him the attitude she seemed to be exhibiting (win at all costs, never budge) is basically the culture at the SA’s office, they’re all like that, so idk maybe that helped a little. It’s not like I was taking the whole night terribly seriously anyway, it was kind of nice to be out with someone again since it’s been over a year and a half since I stopped going on tinder dates, and I do like meeting new people and doing things like going out. So I will take the positive from the night and leave the negative. But we got to church, and others soon arrived and small group was started. We talked about Daniel and how he was basically kidnapped by the Babylonians and they tried to force him to assimilate into their society and worship their pagan gods, but Daniel stood firm in his convictions. So we discussed like, do you think you would be able to do that in that situation? and then it kind of went to have you been in a situation where you felt like what was going on around you was wrong and you didn’t know if you should say something? And I got asked it specifically in context to being in law school, so I talked about how when we discussed abortion in con law (with a disclaimer that I have very complicated opinions on abortion that I could talk your ear off about for several hours, but I wasn’t gonna get into right now) and how when I was in high school I would've killed for the chance to be in a secular school environment and have that argument, but here I was in one all these years later and I felt myself second guessing if this is something I should do, and I ultimately decided I shouldn’t say anything because I simply couldn't make a constitutionally sufficient argument for it (plus I didn’t want to draw the ire of probably every other female in my class). So it was an interesting discussion. we went for just over an hour then headed out, I got distracted playing solitaire on the bus home and missed my stop by two blocks, that’s never happened before because right before we get to my stop we make a right turn after going straight for literally the whole ride, so I always take that as notice that I need to get off in a minute, but apparently I was oblivious to it tonight. I got home and saw the velcro strips I ordered off amazon had arrived, so I set to do surgery on my fake bo staff, lol. After I secured it into a 4 foot solid staff, I realized I have no way to get this into a suitcase to take onto a plane with me, so I had to come up with a solution, and I decided the solution would be to cut it in half and then put velcro on both sides so I could use it both together and split it apart, like Sara’s actual bo staff on the show. It went fairly well, I’m still not a very crafty person (like at all) but I was fairly satisfied with how it came out. After that I watched tonight’s Inhumans episode, which I’m really liking so far. I actually like Medusa as a character a lot, which I didn’t really expect, but I really like her and Louisa on their adventures tonight. I like Crystal too, partially because I feel like I’m supposed to like her haha but she’s also a really cool character. And yeah, after that I got ready for bed and here we are. Per my earlier post, I really doubt I’m gonna go to the event tomorrow, I’m just so fucking tired, and I can actually be really productive with the billion things I need to get done here anyway. So oh well, it’s not a big deal in the long run. and yeah, that’s about all I got. Damn am I tired. time to sleep. Goodnight lovelies. Happy weekend.

[theactor007]

101 questions: Answers

Ok since SOMEONE wanted me to answer all 101 questions...( if it's the person I'm thinking it is...just know you suck). It's almost 6 in the morning be grateful. So here we go! Long add post ahead just a fair warning. (I need to stop reblogging this crap.)

1. I have white walls, blue carpet, black desk, and a variety of colors and hues due to posters, pops, collectables, etc.

2. Probably my drama/ Chorus teacher, Mrs. Monahan. She's the one who taught me the most about my life.

3. Theatre, Kingdom Hearts, learning, laughing, Lilo and Stitch, (wow I'm a dork)

4. Lol I don't drink coffee

5. My so called "dad bod." How I am with women I like.

6. Accept that you have flaws. They are as much a part of you as the good stuff. But don't focus on the bad focus on what makes you strong, unique. You are you and that's beautiful.

7. I do not have stuff animals.

8. Probably drawing.

9. Usually in the fetal position on my right side on the left side of my bed.

10. Being on stage, the imagination of kids, making someone else smile.

11. Small town easily.

12. Two story house on the beach. Hardwood floors, a balcony overlooking the water, and a game room.

13. I'd honestly love like three dogs. A husky/wolf mix, Tibetan Mastiff, and a Shepard.

14. I have not dyed my hair as of now. But I am looking into getting some darker low lights. I'm yet.

15. To each his own. I personally don't have one, but I'm not gonna judge if you do.

16. Look at 15.

17. Art is all around you. Just use what you see and feel to guide your pen/brush/body etc.

18. I was in middle school. I just got off the bus, was in a really good mood bopping along. I walk in the house, didn't even lay my bad down when I saw my sister with tears in her eyes. She looks at me and says We're picking Funeral music now. My Great Grandmother. So yea.

19. Not so much playlists as much in the order they are in my phone.

20.

My best friend, Nate, Kerry, a few others.

21. Honestly as much as I try to, no. My main priority is making Every one else happy. Usually.

22. Usually typos.

23. Demon Hunter if you like metal. Dear Evan Hansen is amazing. I've been listening to Gorillaz recently so them too.

24. Plain.

25. Yea it's worth a shot at least

26. Nah I didn't see the eclipse. Tried to. But nope not really.

27. Nature is peace. Makes you realize you a part of something bigger than you. The birds chirping, the breeze, just beautiful.

28. Well I'm a hardworking, kind-hearted, socially awkward 22 year old. I enjoy theatre, video games, and making people happy. I will do anything and everything for my friends. I'm a proud dork, but with a wise mind.

29. I listen to basically anything. My music goes from Heavy metal to rap To Game music to Broadway to Disney to 80s.

30.

Probably Hot Topic. Most of my wardrobe is graphic tees. And no better place to get it from Hot Topic.

31.

I really don't shop at either. Name brand I guess?

32. What are s.o clothes?

33. I started Tumblr 2-3 years ago..something like that. I made it cause the girl I liked said I should make one. She help me make it and everything.

34. Wash my face every now and then. I really don't have a face care plan tbh

35. I prefer freckles, but both are equally cute!

36. Hate. And peas.

37. I used to have hot wheels cars. I loved organizing them into lines. Drive em around and line em up. Idk I was wierd.

38. Eh depends on the day

39. Games I use. Pops just sit there. I really don't buy a whole lot of expensive things.

40. Standardized testing in schools. Don't get me started.

41. I am constantly asking for advice. Can't learn if you don't know.

42. I mean prefer bras off but anyway!

43. Lol comfy. T-shirt, shorts, and flip flops is where it's at!

44. Honestly one of the better dates I've gone on. We went to the jazz festival and ended up going to a very nice restaurant. Watched the band play for a while. Went to the movies after and then went back to her place and we talked for like 3 hours. It was a good time. (She later went on to break my heart, but moving on!)

45. I am Christianso that should answer it.

46. I don't drink nearly enough water. I should drink more but I don't.

47. I mean it's good. It's unique. My hair naturally makes a nice little swoop so that's nice.

48. It's cloudy but the sun should be rising here soon.

49.

I'd like to think of be a King, but chances are I'd be a Prince. More like the Other Prince in Into the Woods. The one who isn't Charming.

50. If I'm dressing up it's my black button up, blue jeans, and whatever the nicest pair of sneakers is. (I don't dress up a lot)

51. My hair, my kind-heart, my ethics,

52. I'd like to think I'm open minded.

53. I don't judge. Come as you are. Everyone's got stuff that has made them who they are. If I can be one person who they can talk to about that stuff then I've done my job.

54.

I like to plan ahead as much as I can, but I have ADD so you do the math.

55.

Love learning, Hate the education system.

56.

German Shepard/Sharpei mix named Stitch. He's about 70 pounds of fluff and is as much a dork as I am. He's all bark no bite. Hes loves whoever comes in.

57. I don't like milk.

58. Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Overwatch, LOZ, Assassins Creed, oh and Lilo and Stitch.

59. Pandora.

60. Brave.

61. LILO AND STITCH!

62. (I'm getting my questions from my gallery cause I'm on mobile and I didn't get 62 so yea)

63. Once I get the notification that it needs to be updated it takes me like two weeks of ignoring it to actually update. Once I get tired of the notifications like 20 min.

64. I'm in mobile so it's this stupid question list. I still hate you.

65. Lilo and Stitch probably. STITCH and I have a lot in common. The themes, soundtrack, artwork absotuly beautiful. The jokes are still funny. The characters still amaze me. Just amazing.

66. I've seen one Studio Ghibli movie, Princess Monoke and I enjoyed it.

67.

If I'm playing games headphones are off. If music it's cranking loud as it can get!

68. All the time if by doing small things even If I don't say it verbally.

69. Kingdom Hearts, pops, Lilo and Stitch, I feel like I've answered this question a couple times.

70. God I want a partner. Someone to cuddle with, talk about life with, someone who will listen to me and support me. Someone I can be me around with.

71. Dr. Pepper

72. I'll talk to anyone who will listen. But the person who knew me the best and most intimately was the reason I created this Tumblr. Hope your doing well kid.

73. Ok let's see. Thomas Sanders' personal blog, FuckyeahKingdomHearts, the few mutuals I have, y'all know who you are,

74. To be truly happy with the one I'm supposed to spend forever with.

75. Of course! Is there any other place to sing?

76. I shave like once a week maybe. Mostly the cheeks. I trim my mustache and goatee if needed.

77. Over worrying.

78. Sometimes.

79. There are good and bad days. I try to.

80. It was like freshman year ( maybe 8th grade.) But I went with some friends around a riche part of town. Lol I went as Joseph from the Bible, like no joke. Got a lot of candy. It was good time.

81. It was the last day of third grade. I went to climb the monkey bars. I got to the first bar and fell cause my hands were sweaty. Bit my head on all three rungs to the ladder on the way down. Busted my head open and went home early. I think I still have the scar.

82. I'm tired man it's late for me. Long night at work.

83. My stupid ass had to reblog this. And I was expecting like answer like a few questions. No big deal. NOPE!! Some anon was like hey do All of em! So here I am on mobile, without Wi-Fi, I've been working all night, I've had to take pictures of this just so I can get it done. And I've been going at this now for like 2 hours. It's past my bedtime! I'm pretty sure I know who asked me this, because they have a habit of asking this type stuff. And if it is just know you suck so much. Ok end rant.

84. I say i don't care what people think, but I do. A lot. I worry that I'm being annoying or that I'm being that kid that everyone says hi to out of pity. I worry that I may bother some people. When in a relationship i constantly worry that I'm not doing my job right. That I've made her unhappy or something. It's a bad habit.

85. If both parties are working at it yes. Long distance can work. You gotta have a lot of trust. If there's the slightest bit of mistrust it can crumble in an instant.

86. Depending on how much younger. And yea if date someone older. I went on a date with a 35 year old once. Granted didn't know she was 35 till the date but she still had a great time.

87. Jim Carrey, the late Robin Williams, my great-grandfather whom I was named after, Obama, Hayley Joel Is many, the voice of Stitch.

88. I honestly don't remember.

89. 21st. I got my tattoo on the day before. Then me and my friends went to Disney Springs for the day and had a great time. A lot of laughs. I didn't drink but still had a great time!