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toru-oikawas-milkbread · 4 years ago

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Insomnia

Pairing: Yūtarō Kindaichi x f!reader

Prompt/summary: Being the known friend that is always awake has only ever come in handy for a few strange, late night conversations with your friends in the middle of the night before you were left alone again. Amazingly, you get a text from your best friend one night around 4 am. You never could have imagined he would ask you to come over late into the night, but what happens the next morning isn’t something you were sure would ever happen let alone this morning specifically

Word count: 4K

Warnings/contents: Fluff, mild language

Notes: I finally finished this chapter the other night and decided to go ahead and post it today, so here’s to everything being right! 🍸

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What was the worst struggle with insomnia? Was it the constant, chronic headache that you had because of all the hours you were consistently awake? The dark circles and bags beneath your eyes that seemed to have made it their home there? Or was it the loneliness that came along with being the only person to be awake at the hour of 4 in the morning and being too tired to make new friends?

While you were always struggling to find even a sliver of exhaustion enough to knock yourself out, normal people were sleeping. Whether it be with a partner, an animal, or even alone.

That was a constant struggle of yours, and it was another night of being the only person awake at nearly 4 in the morning. Your hopes had previously been shot through the roof when your friend texted you. She said that she knew you’d be awake, sent you a few messages about her strange dream that had woken her up, and then suddenly she just stopped replying when you were discussing what it could mean. You assumed she fell asleep, leaving you to continue to sit at your laptop and continue messing around while your tv played softly in the background.

Hearing your phone ding with a new text message was a very rare occurrence this time of night, so as usual you were never expecting much. To ignore your constant notifications from your other apps catching your eye, you turned your phone face down on your nightstand while it charged after almost dying when you were listening to music.

With a soft groan, you rubbed your tired eyes and yawned. Unfortunately for you, it hadn’t been a tired so you could sleep yawn, and it was rather a tired, but awake anyways yawn.

The last thing you were expecting to hear right now was another ding from your phone, but then it had happened. At first you thought you imagined it as you looked over, but before you could either reach over to check or go back to your laptop, your phone dinged again.

You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of communicating with someone, though you were hoping that whoever it was, they would stay awake for longer than three texts and then fall asleep. Your eyes landed on the large clock before looking at the contact.

It was 4:22 AM, and you were wondering why on earth anyone was awake, and you were even more shocked to see Yūtarō’s name attached to two texts he’d sent you. You slid the message right, going to unlock your phone and read the messages.

Kindaichi: “Are you awake?”

Kindaichi: “You usually are this time of night, right?”

(y/n): “Always. What’s the matter?”

You waited patiently for another text to come in after the read receipt popped up so quickly after you responded, but instead his contact photo popped up along with his ringtone. It made you smile again as you clicked the green button and brought the phone up to your ear.

“Hi.” He said softly, like he was afraid he might wake someone if he spoke too loud— even if he was alone in his apartment.

“Hey.” You replied in a hushed tone, shutting your laptop and setting it aside. “What’s up?” You asked, bringing your knees up to your chest and waiting for the man on the other end of the line to continue speaking, and hopefully clue you in to why your best friend with the impeccable sleeping schedule was awake in the middle of the night.

“Well, I couldn’t sleep, and I know that you have trouble doing such,” he started, shifting on his bed in the background. “And uh… I was wondering something. I feel as if it’s not really my place to ask of you, but…” He chewed on the inside of his lip, looking down at his hand that was on his lap on top of the sheets and sighing. “I really want to.”

“Ask away.” You said with a soft smile that he wouldn’t see, having no idea what he was getting at, but it was Kindaichi after all. He was your trustworthy best friend ever since the two of you met when you had moved onto his street as a child. He was almost predictable to you at this point, and ultimately you figured he had a simple task he needed to ask you that he was worried he might forget about if he didn’t tell you immediately.

“I was wondering if you would come over.” He asked, sounding hesitant— almost worried.

“Sure, when?” You asked, hoping that your body would drop soon if he needed you over within the next day. God forbid he ask you to come over early tomorrow morning, because another measly 3 hours of sleep was basically nothing after struggling for so long.

“Uhh… right now.”

“Oh.” You were shocked, glancing quickly at the time again to make sure you were right. Before you had the chance to keep talking, Kindaichi cut you off.

“It’s too much to ask.” He started, shaking his head despite you not being able to see it. “I’m sorry I called you, I’m sure that you’re busy. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow, and I hope you can sleep soon—“ Before he managed to hang up on you, you were quick to cut him off, though you were a bit more frantic to keep the nervous sounding man on the line.

“Hey, no, no! I’ll come over, I was just surprised because it’s so late.” You said, getting out from beneath your warm covers and heading over to your closet. It was freezing in your room, but that was nothing that a pair of sweatpants and socks couldn’t cure. “I’ll be over in a few minutes.” You promised, deciding that your hoodie you were currently wearing was warm enough. Because it was nearly 5 in the morning and you were hardly in the mood for restriction, you skipped a bra, merely putting your sweatpants and socks on before sneaking out of your room quiet enough not to wake your sleeping parents.

“I’m sorry, (y/n)— I’m sure you were in bed,” he said nervously. “Why don’t you just stay home?”

“Yūtarō, I have no problem coming to your apartment, okay? I’ll be right over, just don’t leave me hanging out in the hallway for too long, alright?” Kindaichi gave a tired sounding laugh on the other side of the line.

“I promise I’ll let you come inside.” You smiled, giving a soft goodbye and shoving your phone into your hoodie pocket. You grabbed your keys, heading out of your house and locking the door behind you. You got into the car, wincing at how loud the engine was and hoping that it hadn’t woken anyone up as you backed out of the driveway. You yawned, trying to put all of your attention into driving so you didn’t run anything over, and taking the 10 minute drive to Kindaichi’s apartment.

Thankfully there was an empty parking spot close by the door, leaving you less of a walk around in the middle of the night with the possibility of getting kidnapped and murdered. Not to mention, it was cold outside.

You walked into the apartment building and up the three flights of stairs. You managed to make it to his room quickly and knocked on the door. Much to your luck, Kindaichi was in the kitchen, so it didn’t take him long to open the door and move aside so you could come in. He sent you a small smile and tiredly said hello as he locked the door after you.

“So, what’s the matter over here?” You asked, slipping your shoes off and setting them beside his.

“Uh, I…” He seemed to be struggling a bit, so you sent the man a small smile and rubbed your arms over your thick hoodie.

“If you don’t want to talk, it’s alright. We can do something else.” Kindaichi sent you a small smile, shifting almost awkwardly beneath your stare.

“Do you want to go to my room? Since I dragged you out of your bed, you can sleep in mine if you stay— which I guess you probably will because it’s late.” He rubbed the back of his neck, rambling slightly. “I can put some pillows between us and divide up the bed,” he offered. “You can have the bigger half.” You gave a soft laugh and shook your head.

“Yūtarō, you’re sweet, but we’ve slept in the same bed more than once.” You teased him, earning a small smile from the man in return.

“Ah, you’re right. So, umm… no pillow dividers then…?” He said, though it sounded more like a question as it came out then he originally intended it to.

“If you’d like to divide us, then we can build a pillow wall. But I can’t promise that I won’t fall asleep and end up cuddling into your side anyways.” You said, following your friend to the bedroom. “I think we both know I like to sleep cuddle.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind. It’s sort of comforting, actually.” He admitted, though flushing and grateful it was dark.

“Is it comfort that you need, Yū? Did you have a nightmare or something?” You asked, gently placing a hand on his shoulder as he looked down. He shook his head softly, glancing over at you through the dim light of the bedroom.

“No, I just… can’t sleep.”

“You’ve been awake all night?” You asked with a small frown. He sat on the edge of his bed and sighed.

“I’ve been awake a couple nights.”

“Is there something on your mind?” You asked, gently sitting on the bed with him. “You know, I come to you a lot.” You gave a sort of chuckle as he looked over at you. “If you need to talk about anything, I’m more than willing to listen.” Kindaichi sent you a small smile, placing his hand down on your knee and giving you a light pat.

“I guess, maybe… there’s a little something on my mind. Ah, college classes and work, that’s all. It’s just been a little stressful.”

“That’s all? Just work and classes?” You asked, eyeing him. He hesitated, trying to think of what to say as he looked at you. He’d been debating a lot today, as he did when he was going through a lack of sleep, and he wasn’t sure how to approach the conclusion he’d long ago come to realize. He didn’t know how to look you in the eyes and tell you that he was in love with you, so he had always pushed it aside, though lately it was becoming more troublesome as the two of you got older.

You were maturing so nicely, and he wasn’t the only person to notice. He was nervous because if he didn’t make a move soon, he’d have to live forever while you were with someone else, and he was also worrying about making a move and you not being into him like that. He didn’t want to ruin your long running friendship, but he was so lovesick for you that he hadn’t been able to even consider thinking of another girl in a slightly similar way that he thought of you. Romantic feelings hadn’t ever happened for him after he caught them for you, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it. While Kunimi had always told him to wing it and just tell you, he couldn’t help being nervous.

“Yeah, I just don’t… want to be alone…” You sent him a little smile and reached up to gently rub his shoulder.

“Well, that’s what I’m here for. You can’t be alone if I come around bothering you all the time, huh.” You teased, gently nudging his leg with your own.

“You don’t bother me.” You gave a soft hum, leaning against him and resting your head down on his shoulder while you closed your eyes.

“Never?”

“How are you supposed to bother me when I’m…” He stopped, hoping you hadn’t fully caught onto what he was saying, though as seldom as those things went, after a moment of silence on his end, you spoke up again.

“You’re what?” You asked, though not seeming to be too bothered by it as you were finding momentary comfort on his shoulder. The smell of his cologne that was just barely clung to his skin hit your nose, and after being awake for so long, you were slowly starting to find some sense of exhaustion in the moment.

“I’m just…” He fiddled with his fingers, holding still for you since you seemed so relaxed and he knew how hard it was for you to find relaxation at night. Part of him was actually glad that you were able to find such peace with him, though what was to expected truthfully. The two of you had been friends since you were kids.

It was nearly impossible for you not to be comfortable around him— if not a bit too much, he thought, as you had taken your shirt off right in front of him a number of times. Of course, it wasn’t your fault that he had to go and gain feelings for you. He couldn’t say it exactly, but he assumed you’d taken your shirt off in front of Kunimi as well just because you had in front of Kindaichi. While you had only known the other boy since middle school, the two of you were pretty close. You seemed to have a brother/sister dynamical relationship with the boy, and it was pretty entertaining as well as a bit annoying when you argued.

“Look, (y/n), I’m just gonna be honest, okay?” He chewed on his bottom lip while you gave a soft hum in response to his words, just barely shifting beside the boy. “I’ve always kind of been scared to admit it, but… you know, we’ve been friends for a really long time, and I just have to trust our friendship, right?” He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before he closed his eyes. “I really like you, (y/n). I like you as a friend, but I also like you as… just— so much more. I’ve kind of wanted to go out with you for a few years, and it’s been keeping me up lately.” He took a breath when he finished, but when you were quiet he seemed to hold his breath again. “(y/n)…?”

Kindaichi shifted, peeking down at you and giving a soft huff when he realized that you were asleep.

“Of course.” He mumbled, carefully moving and picking you up so that you stayed asleep and he could get you comfortably laid back in his bed. He scooted into the bed with you, though after he covered you up, he put a respectable amount of distance between the two of you as he laid down. Your falling asleep, as good as it was that you were finally resting, had put a sort of damper on his mood. It was really hard for him to admit that he liked you, and he was disappointed that you weren’t awake to hear it for the first time that he finally admitted to it. However, he tried viewing this as a chance to think back to what he said and make it seem less spastic and pathetic.

While he was watching the ceiling and trying to think, you moved on his bed, reaching around slightly in your sleep and giving a soft groan, He wasn’t sure exactly how you slept when you were at home, because every time he had slept in the same bed as you, he’d fallen asleep first and he’d always woken up with you snoozing on his chest.

He carefully pushed a free pillow over towards you, watching you grab at it and smiling lightly to himself while you laid down on it, but you didn’t seem content. You gave a soft groan in your sleep, stretching your arm out, though this time it landed on Kindaichi’s stomach.

“Mmm, Yū…tarō…” You mumbled, scooting closer to the man in your sleep and making his chest tighten like it usually did when you snuggled your nose into his shoulder, despite the pillow pressed between the two of you. Carefully, Kindaichi took the pillow away and set it on his other side, wrapping his arm around you to let you scoot closer. He couldn’t help the small smile that worked its way onto his face when you snuggled into his chest and gave a soft mumble of something incoherent in your sleep. While it did hurt every single time that you fell asleep on his shoulder, and his chest always ached when you grabbed his hand, and how his heart seemed to skip a beat when you smiled at him, he couldn’t help but enjoy this moment.

He was so lost in love with you that if he didn’t enjoy the moments when he had the chance to feel like maybe someday he might be able to either be loved by you the way he loves you, or by some miracle he might get over you and settle for someone else, that he could feel this love again someday, but without the pain that lingered behind every shift you made. Because every time you moved, he worried you were moving away. He worried you might wake up and give him space, or decide you don’t want to cuddle with him after all. While that was unlikely, it was a sad thought that unfortunately was always on his mind.

But it had never happened before. And as every other night beforehand, you stayed close to him, happily snuggled into his side and sleeping peacefully. Truthfully you always had slept better when Kindaichi was with you. As little as he had ever caught onto that fact, Kindaichi always found himself resting easier when you were cuddled beneath his arm as well. It was as if he was finally at peace, though he was always saddened when it was torn from him the next night. He found himself feeling lonely and wishing you were there with him.

With a soft exhale from the boy, he closed his eyes and leaned his head down a little ways, feeling some of your hair brush against his chin. A soft smile graced his face as he felt you shift closer to him and mumbled something else beneath your breath in your sleep, but he couldn’t catch what you said as he was finding himself getting taken over by sleep as well.

A gentle touch on Kindaichi’s stomach was the first thing that caught his attention as he woke from his slumber. The sunlight coming through the curtains hadn’t even been the first thing on his mind, instead he could feel soft, chilled fingers grazing softly along his stomach over his shirt. With a soft groan, Kindaichi shifted on the bed, noticing the lack of feeling in his arm and your weight resting on him.

“Good morning.” You whispered, and before he could even fully pull himself from his exhaustion, a soft smile grew on his face.

“Good morning.” You smiled to yourself, the undeniable fluttering in your chest at his soft but rough morning tone. “How’d you sleep?”

“I slept good. How about you?”

“I slept pretty good.” He yawned, giving a soft groan as he shifted and glanced down at you. Aside from you being here with him, the one and only thing that Kindaichi had to be grateful for this morning was that he hadn’t had any form of exciting dream, and instead had slept hard enough to keep his body from reacting involuntarily to you, such a beautiful girl that he’d had feelings for so long for, being snuggled up against him.

“I’m glad. Sorry, I kind of passed out on you last night.”

“Don’t even worry about it. I’m glad that you got to sleep.” He said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb on your shoulder over your hoodie and keeping his eyes closed. You shifted, giving a soft sigh and comfortably laying your head back down on his shoulder and tracing the lines of his abs over his shirt. It was quiet for a minute, and when Kindaichi’s breathing seemed to get even softer, you figured he’d fallen asleep. With another soft huff of air coming from your nose, you closed your eyes.

“I love you.” You whispered out with a soft, saddened sigh, though when he gave a hum in return to your comment your eyes widened in horror.

“Mm— love you, too.” He mumbled back. While the two of you were best friends and previously had said that you loved each other, it was a pretty rare occurrence. So rare that you were surprised that he even said it back to you. As tired as he was this morning, you figured that he was asleep again or wouldn’t have registered what you said, but you couldn’t help but asking anyways.

“Yūtarō?” You whispered, earning another soft hum from him. “Do you really love me?” He gave a soft “Mhm” sound, but he seemed to be taking it much lighter than you really wanted him to as you pressed the subject. “Yūtarō, I know it’s early, and I know you’re tired, but I… really love you.” Kindaichi was quiet for a second, shifting slightly and looking down at you.

“(y/n)?” You hummed, stealing a glance up at the boy nervously. After a moment of hesitation, Kindaichi moved more on the bed, pushing himself up on his elbows while you moved to sit up better beside him, waiting for his response. The look on his face was telling you that he already knew, and you couldn’t help but worry about his next words. “You… love me…?” You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip, nodding slightly. Kindaichi seemed to stare into your eyes questioningly for a minute, as if he was desperate to find any sense that you were lying.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, watching him carefully, but you couldn’t catch what happened next quicker than it occurred.

Kindaichi leaned in, his hand cupping your cheek and his lips pressing to yours quickly. In shock, you pulled back, sucking in a gasp through your nose. He looked at you, regret filling his eyes. Before he could finish saying that he was sorry, you grabbed his shirt and leaned in, pulling him down and kissing him back. After a quick sound of shock from him, Kindaichi quickly leaned into you and kissed you back. You kept a hold of his shirt, leaning further into him as he held your face in his hand again.

There was a sense of desperateness that was being put into the kiss from both of you, and despite the words not being spoken aloud, it was obvious just how strong the feelings were that the two of you had for each other. A soft hum came from you just as he slowly pulled back. His lips left your own with a soft ‘smack’ as he moved back and gently pressed his forehead to your own. The two of you were panting lightly, not bothering to move back in the slightest.

“I fucking love you, too.” He whispered. You gave a soft laugh, finding his hand and sliding your fingers in-between his own.

“Bet I’ve loved you for longer.” You teased, and a soft smile worked onto Kindaichi’s face as he hummed in content.

“I doubt it.”

“Check it: 6 years.”

“Ooo,” he pressed a soft kiss to your lips and pulled back to look down into your eyes, softly rubbing the pad of his thumb across your cheek as you peeked up at him. “Check it: 9 years.”

“Impossible.” You frowned, and he shook his head.

“It’s been a really long 9 years.” You leaned your head into his hand, closing your eyes again and reaching up your hand to hold lightly onto his wrist.

“Tell me about it.” He smiled, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before he snuck away from your grasp and reached his hand back down for you when you looked at him, slightly shocked.

“Let’s go make pancakes.”

“I really do love you”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x reader fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu yutaro kindaichi #yutaro kindaichi #yutaro kindaichi x reader #yutaro kindaichi x female reader #yutaro kindaichi x reader fluff #yutaro kindaichi fluff #yutaro kindaichi imagines

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prettygirlcore · 4 years ago

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fall - hwang hyunjin

a/n: i think i’m gonna start putting summaries on my posts, but don’t expect them to be good because i suck at that.

i also used like a million pet names because i find them really sweet and endearing. hyunjin’s a boy i want to protect, ya know?

warnings: fainting, hyunjin overworking himself :(((, and just overall sad vibes.

summary: hyunjin’s worried about being good enough, so he starts to work harder; that doesn’t end well.

hyunjin’s rarely late. being on time is usually something he holds himself to and when he knows he’ll be late, he’ll text you and let you know. but you haven’t heard anything from him since morning and he’s an hour late to your scheduled date. admittedly, you were just going to eat dinosaur chicken nuggets in your pajamas and watch tv, but all your stay-at-home dates are memories that you really cherish and value.

so you call him. and he doesn’t answer. at this point you’re more worried than annoyed, so your next resort is to call chan. hopefully you didn’t have to resort to calling jyp themselves.

“y/n? what is it? is everything okay?”

“chan, thank god you picked up, do you know where hyunjin is?”

“he’s still in the practice room. we told him he should get home to you, but he said that you’d be gone so he doesn’t have anything better to do but run through his sets a few more times,”

“Uhm no? i’m at home?? waiting for him???”

“maybe he forgot?”

“hyunjin’s capable of forgetting many things, our weekly dates isn’t one of them,”

“do you want me to get him for you?”

“no, just… let him be, i guess. whatever he’s doing is important to him, anyway,”

“y/n-”

“bye chris,”

you said before hanging up the phone, not giving chan a chance to finish. it was so incredibly embarrassing to think that hyunjin probably knew you were waiting for him, but didn’t care. maybe he was with someone else, since he was in a position where he’d be alone for a few hours. god you felt so dumb. chan felt pity for you and your stupid, dumb idea that hyunjin actually cared to make it to your stupid date.

you sit there, scrolling through a bunch of different apps, trying to distract yourself from how horrible you felt for a good twenty minutes, when...

your phone is ringing again.

chan is calling you again.

you watch his face light up your phone, you can hear the ringtone, and yet, you don’t pick up. maybe it was the underlying rage you felt towards hyunjin, or the absolute hatred you felt at chan’s pitiful voice when you almost broke down crying during the first call.

chan’s call fades out as you officially ignore his call and send him to voicemail, but he calls again.

you still don’t answer.

he calls you again.

once again, you can’t find it in you to answer.

he calls you a good five more times, maybe more, you don’t remember. all you know is that this ringtone is starting to annoy you. you move to put your phone on do not disturb, but before you can hit the button, you were getting another call.

guess who it was?

wrong.

you think to yourself if minho, of all people, is calling me, maybe i should answer it.

so you do.

“minho-”

“yah! what the hell? why weren’t you answering chan’s calls?”

“minho i don’t want to talk about it right now-”

“oh my god y/n for one minute stop thinking about you and your feelings! for just once in your life! hyunjin’s at the hospital!”

hospital?

hyunjin was at the hospital??

you were shocked, stunned into silence that you completely disregarded minho on the other line until he brought you back to reality.

“y/n?”

“a-ah, i’m sorry, why is he at the hospital?”

“they think he fainted from a combination of a lack of sleep and dehydration. he’s not awake right now, but the doctors assume he will be soon. he took a pretty bad fall when he fainted, and because he was all alone, nobody knew anything had happened to him until you called chan about him,”

“did he break anything when he fainted?”

“no, he just has a pretty nasty bruise on his side. agh, why am i explaining all of this to you? just get over here, okay? he’ll want to see you when he wakes up,”

completely disregarding all the irritation you had felt a second before, you thanked minho and grabbed your car keys, heading over to the hospital. you were driving faster than was safe, but it didn’t matter. hyunjin has fainted when you assumed he was cheating. what an asshole you were.

seeing him in that bed, all pale and weak-looking, truly made you think. had you paid any attention to hyunjin these past few days? you were sure he was fine just the other day, if a bit tired looking. he did also seem weaker. but you just took that as something sleep could fix.

maybe the last time you had seen him was yesterday, but you haven’t really seen him since maybe a week ago, your last date. he’s been so busy, you just assumed he was sleeping at the dorms when he wasn't sleeping next to you. was he really not sleeping at all?

you were pulled from your thoughts when his hand started to squeeze yours, a telltale sign he was waking up. you looked over at him, and his eyes were closed but you could tell he was drifting out of sleep.

“don’t try to get up, sweetie, you’re a bit weak right now,”

“y-y/n…? where am i?”

“you’re okay, you’re just at the hospital,”

“o-oh, um, look i’m really sorry for causing so much trouble and for missing our date, i didn’t mean to i just got caught up in practicing-”

“practicing doesn’t come before your health, jinnie, you know that,”

“i know but i was so worried about this past comeback and i feel like i didn’t do my best and you know jyp never gives us a break and i just have to be better-,”

“hyunjin,”

“y/n i have to be more than just a pretty face. i can’t be remembered as just a visual, i have other talents! i promise that i’m just working harder so i can show that there’s more to me than my looks,”

“stop, please, just stop,”

“y/n-”

“do you think i’m okay with seeing you like this? do you think the boys are okay with seeing you like this? what about stay? do you think they could fully enjoy anything you’re making knowing that you had to resort to unhealthy habits like not sleeping and forgetting to drink water?”

“i mean no i guess not, but this wasn’t supposed to happen-”

“what was supposed to happen, hyunjin? were you just going to keep carrying on practicing day and night, destroying your body, all while not talking to me about this?”

“you shouldn’t have to deal with-”

“that’s not up to you to decide what i should or shouldn’t deal with! because i’m here now, dealing with the aftermath of what you did,”

“... you’re right, i’m sorry, y/n,”

you suddenly realize that you’ve stood up from the chair you were sitting in. you’re also towering over him, since he’s laying in a hospital bed, and your angry expression and pointed finger in his direction probably didn’t help. he does look kind of scared of you.

“ah, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you. i was just really worried, i felt really helpless when i first saw you laying there, so i’m sorry if that was too much. i’ll check in with you doctor and see when we can get you home, sweetie,”

you say with a kiss on his forehead, and suddenly he’s alone again. like he was in the practice room. he didn’t like to be alone, more specifically, he didn’t like to be without you.

the doctors do plenty of tests to make sure there wasn’t anything else that contributed to his faint, but hyunjin is soon in the comforts of your arms and bed finally. he cuddles up close to you, resting his head against your chest. he feels safe when he heard your heartbeat.

“jinnie?”

“hmmm?”

“can we talk?”

“y-yes, sure,”

he looks like he doesn’t want to move, so you don’t force him to. his voice is slightly muffled but you can still make out what he says, so it’s not a big deal.

“you said you started practicing more because you were worried that you didn’t do good enough,”

“uhm, y-yeah, that’s why,”

“jinnie, darling, what made you feel that way?”

he looked at you like a deer in headlights, before resting his head in your lap. you run your fingers through his long hair, but it’s not enough to calm him.

“i… i see the things they say. i know it shouldn’t get to me, that i shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does. i can’t just tell myself to stop thinking about their criticisms like you want me to, it doesn’t work that way,”

you were almost taken aback by his slightly aggressive attitude, but you let it go. he’s not in the state of mind to care to watch what he says. with all that he’s feeling, it would be selfish to put the spotlight on you.

“i’m sorry, jinnie. i can tell it’s hard, so much more than i know. i can empathize and try to help you but i’ll never know what it truly feels like,”

it’s silent for another minute or two, the silence isn’t unbearable, but it’s awkward.

“how can i help you, jinnie? what would make your life easier right now?”

he’s quick to dismiss you, say you don’t need to do anything, but you speak up again before he can respond.

“and don’t tell me i don’t need to do anything. i want to help you,”

he smiles, somewhat sadly as he looks down to avoid looking you in the eye.

“just…”

“yeah?”

“...please be there for me,”

he looks up at you with watery eyes, and before you crush him in another hug, he speaks once more,

“please be there to catch me if i fall,”

#stray kids #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids writing #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst

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danideservedbetter · 4 years ago

Text

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

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onyourzeus · 4 years ago

Text

• stress-free | kwp

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: stress-free pairing: kim wonpil (of day6) & you (she/her pronouns) genre: FLUFF, college!au words: 3.4k

author’s note: @pirimiritiddy requested a fic about wonpil, and here it is. it went on for longer than i previously planned, buuuuut. i hope it’s still okay aaaa

(this is the 1st time i’ve written something for wonpil so if i get his personality wrong, i do apologize. i am also a baby myday huhu)

this dot fic (bullet style) is part of the falling asleep on the bus scenario that i intend to write for each day6 member. check out the others: dowoon (currently only 2/5 completed)

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

wonpil hates his schedule for this winter term

who assigns a class that is only available at seven in the evening??

3 times a week

during THE WINTER

did he mention it’s a major lecture he’s required to take??

psychology of stress, more like

this class is giving him the kind of stress it is specifically warning its students about

anyway, what can he say. he chose this major, there’s only 1 more term after this one and then finally: graduation

it’ll be fine, he’ll live

thank the heavens they didn’t need to attend the first two meetings, but some reading material was provided

and was expected by the professor to have been read and reflected upon

the class is really living up to its name because when wonpil opened the pdf

it was 30 pages of tiny font sized sentences (for ants!) about the definition of stress and how it affects every part of the body yada yada yada

wonpil tried. he really tried

that is to say he fell asleep on his desk while going over the same 20th page of the document

if it weren’t for jae shaking him awake, he’d miss his first night class

it would’ve been nice… if only the professor didn’t take attendance (something about being generous enough to make the first 2 classes “free,” so everyone has an obligation to come in for the remainder of the semester)

great, he’s stuck freezing his ass off just walking to the bus stop alone

hopefully they turn the heater all the way up in the auditorium or else

the thousands spent in tuition would have literally been for nothing

overdramatic wonpil, can you blame him

he thinks about reading the remaining 10 pages on the bus, even if he knows nothing of value will be absorbed

he wants to tries anyway, he does feel a little bit refreshed from that impromptu nap

the bus has arrived, and it’s packed as usual; a lot of the students riding the shuttle are just yet to take off in the following stops

wonpil squeezes his way inside, 30 pages of stress psychology research gripped in both hands

“excuse me, sorry,” wonpil mumbles, eyeing for a spot to sit to make him comfortable

because once all the people standing up leave, it’s usually a race for the exit

he’ll never understand college students

finally, he sees an empty seat way in the back. there was a girl on one end and two other students who seem to be ready to get off on the right side

wonpil doesn’t mind sitting next to someone, but once those 2 are gone he’ll just scoot over to give the girl on the left some privacy

she seems very much in deep sleep anyway, wonpil wonders if her stop is coming or she’s riding to go to campus?

wonpil doesn’t have time to think about other people, it causes him unnecessary stress

once sat down, his eyes focus on the last page he left off of

the words register as gibberish in his brain, and with the bus moving so much it makes it even more difficult to follow along the paragraphs

wonpil takes in a deep breath, holds it in, and sighs very heavily

his patience is usually the best out of his friends, but this class is turning more and more into the psychology of how to get you stressed tf out instead

the bus nears its next stop, and the two people on his side stand up to leave, yes he can breathe normal air

however

hold on

his shoulder feels heavy

turning his head slightly, for some reason once the bus had stopped its engine the girl’s head had flipped over to lean against wonpil’s shoulder instead

oh no oh no oh no

his shoulders suddenly freeze, as if blasted with a ray gun filled with ice

it’s heavy and he can’t move, it’s numb and this girl’s hair is splayed all over his his sweater

and she

she smells of coffee, and wonpil inhales it in

it’s not foul or anything, but it’s definitely exuding notes of espresso bean and freshly roasted coffee

it makes wonpil feel a little more awake

but he still can’t move his shoulders, and suddenly he’s panicking because the bus started moving again and even though capacity has lessened by 80%

someone decided to sit on the other end of the row he’s at

so if he even attempts to move, he’ll still be seated next to someone

wonpil grumbles, lower lip jutting forward

something shifts

and he realizes he shook his shoulders a little bit with his frustration

“ah…” he exclaims inaudibly, panicking at the possibility that he had woken her up from her nap

wonpil tenses up, shoulders stiff and eyes peering at his side to see what she’s up to

she lifts her head just a few inches off of wonpil’s shoulder, and for a moment he’s relieved that maybe she realizes what’s going on

but wonpil only hears a soft yawn coming from her, and she returns to using his very rigid shoulder as her pillow during this bus ride

let’s just say that the next thirteen minutes was more stress-inducing than wonpil wanted it to be

right when the bus reaches the final stop (main campus), wonpil exerts any and all efforts he has to shake his shoulder, up and down, enough to elicit an awake response from this stranger

the moment he feels her let up, wonpil dashes through that bus door like there’s no tomorrow

he is greeted with the coldest wind hitting his face, and his shoulder feeling numb from all the.. pillow roleplaying it did, if you will

wonpil feels bad, borderline guilty for leaving her like that— what if she’s asleep until now?? he can almost hear soft snores from her end for a minute there, too, and it took so much of wonpil to resist chuckling at it while in panic mode simultaneously

suffice to say, he was not able to read the rest of the document

in wonpil’s defense, he had encountered it first hand — how stress overcomes one’s body and mind

he forces himself to focus on what’s ahead, as boring as it sounds

he enters the lecture hall with a few minutes so spare, deciding to sit in the back

the projector screens are big and wonpil is not about to take his chances of getting called on today

luckily enough, he finds a row with visibly no other student sitting around the area

shoulder feeling more alive, he comes back to his senses as well

he takes off his outer sweater as it had become toastier inside. he still had a couple layers beneath his clothes

as the professor starts talking, wonpil finds himself yawning a few times

he doesn’t know if the video playing on screen is boring him or the girl in the bus affected his sleepiness

suddenly he remembers the smell of coffee, and how that’d sound real good right about now

he slaps both of his cheeks lightly, trying to take him back in the zone of at least writing down important notes

he’s on the fifth bullet point of his note-taking when the door behind him opens abruptly

it wasn’t loud or disrupting to the whole class, virtually no one even batted an eye

but thats because they’re far from the door

and wonpil is literally ten feet away, so when he feels the cold suddenly hit his back he had to know the source of the sudden hit in temperature

the class hadn’t been going on for less than an hour, and there have been students coming in on the other end of the auditorium

so wonpil isn’t that surprised that another student has just arrived

he caught a glimpse of her hair, but that’s about it as wonpil goes back to his tedious notes

until the very same person scoots herself in wonpil’s row

he huffs under his breath, the illusion of some privacy now shattered

with a polite (semi-forced) smile, wonpil turns to the side to greet his classmate

again, wonpil becomes frozen in spot

kind of like when you feel a magnetic pull somewhere, you follow it

and then suddenly you see it from afar, not believing your eyes if it’s actually real; if it’s actually there

in wonpil’s case, he’s one seat away from her

recognizing the flow of her hair, but more importantly

that distinct scent of coffee beans from her clothes

this time, wonpil has a clear look on her face and he’s… speechless

his polite smile has turned into a look of awe, eyes glued towards her

she senses his gaze, turns to him and quickly bows down as a polite greeting

“sorry, but has the class been going on for a while?”

she speaks

“oh, um, what— what?”

“oh,” she looks confused, but rephrases her question, “what time did the class start? i had a hard time finding this lecture hall.”

she’s talking to him, not just leaning her head on his shoulder

“seven”

was all wonpil could say

“it started at 7? cool, i’m not that late then!” she cheers, grinning shyly. wonpil watches the way she puts a strand of hair tucked beneath her ear. she’s pulling out her laptop from her bag when she notices a pair of wide eyes still on her person

“is… is this seat taken?” she asks, and wonpil hasn’t even taken in the fact that this is the same person from the bus

“yes”

tongue-tied wonpil strikes again, blinking back his own obliviousness to her question

“i mean— no, now it is, by you. you’re sitting there, um, i— feel free to sit wherever you want”

he’s scrambling for his words, flustered cheeks heating up amidst the warmth of the room

she just nods her head in understanding, and wonpil finally realizes he’s been staring at her direction for longer than he should have

“STRESS”

the professor verbalized into her mic which causes wonpil to look to the front all of a sudden

right, right. he’s at a lecture. what’s gotten him so fidgety and embarrassed and now all that he’s pretending to type on his google doc is

sdfjfjdfhshllsghgjghsh

just so he looks busy next to the girl who fell asleep on him on the bus

was there any point in preoccupying his mind with thoughts of her, and her head resting on him? no it’s stupid, wonpil knows this.

people do it all the time, by accident, due to exhaustion, they don’t mean a thing by it

but wonpil is curious, and this is going to kill him. for sure

so he peeks at her again, and like a normal, decent student that she is (compared to wonpil at this point let’s be real) her hands are busy hand writing whatever the professor was saying

meanwhile, wonpil continues to sdfjskgnglddfjs his way to a passing B in this class

even in this large, spacious lecture hall he can still take in her scent

maybe it’s a new perfume that’s up and coming, that’s why it smells so strongly on her

oh! he can ask that? hey, do you mind sharing what line of perfume you’re using? it smells really good

it sounds like a common question, right? i mean if you wear strong fragrances you’re bound to be asked a question about it

he’s about to ask, he really was so ready to ask, what was he gonna lose? his dignity?

over a simple, inquisitive question?

“and now before we go on a twenty minute break, it’s time to introduce yourself to the person sitting close to you”

...

why do college professors have to do this?

wonpil bites his lip, at this point in time he’s a senior who’s fed up with ice breakers like this. if it were any other person sitting next to him, in front of him, behind him— he would just go with his usual introduction

“hi i’m kim wonpil, studying psychology and i graduate in the spring. i’m taking this class for a major requirement”

then go about his merry way.

but with her? she and him have history

sort of, and it’s the kind of history that is recent and wonpil is unsure if she is even aware of the weird string of fate-like connection they have

or, wonpil, hear your consciousness out

it’s not a big deal, and in the scenario she doesn’t remember she fell asleep on the bus on another person

then you can just say hi like usual, and cut the string of fate there and then

(but does wonpil really want that?)

“hi”

oh crap she’s started it

wonpil braces himself for whatever outcome this interaction comes out to. he’ll let her speak, and tailor his response from there

“i’m sorry, this might be really weird but that’s your sweater, right?”

so she didn’t give her name, her major, anything substantial about herself but instead shoots wonpil a question

pointing at the sweater that’s draped on the seat in front of wonpil

wonpil doesn’t even check to look. he gulps, nods his head and squeaks, “yeah… why?”

something in her eyes flash by, almost like a glint of recognition

she puts a hand on her mouth, and wonpil can make out the faintest shade of pink blushing its way to her ears

it’s kinda cute

“did someone happen to… fall asleep on you on the bus coming to campus today?”

“... yes?”

“that was me” she buries her face even further into her hands, almost lowering down to the chair

wonpil thought she was gonna fall for some reason so he had to remedy the situation somewhat

“i.. i, um, did you have a good nap?”

great comeback

wonpil was so ready to leave the auditorium and never come back after the break

but he hears her giggle, and slowly come out of her shyness

and it’s a sweet sight, to finally see the way her cheeks look full of embarrassed laughter

as she twirls around a length of hair nervously

and taps the pen on the surface of her desk repeatedly

it was endearing, and wonpil forgets about why he was panicking in the first place

she then explains that she had work the whole day, and only had an hour to rest up before going to this 7pm class

wonpil listens intently, watching her mannerisms and the lilt in her voice when she continues to apologize for falling asleep on him without realizing it

“i’m not usually a deep sleeper, but work was exceptionally tiring today and i just needed at least a bit of shut eye” wonpil nods understandingly, almost worried about her health

“where do you work if you don’t mind me asking?”

“at the coffee shop a few blocks away from campus,” she answers, head tilting to the side “i’m still wearing my uniform for it… is it too obvious?”

wonpil didn’t even realize her black long sleeves was a cafe uniform

but it did explain her strong coffee smell

“something like that,” wonpil decided to say, curling his lips upward, feeling content and relieved at the turnout of events

for the 20 minute break, wonpil thought they’d reconcile over what transpired between them and mind their own business soon enough— even if he thinks it’s hard to do that now knowing something about her

which intrigues wonpil

and, quite frankly, he’d like to talk to her more

just so he has an excuse to watch her emotions paint her face beautifully

but there was a pause right after their short conversation

and in real Awkward Wonpil Fashion, he shows her the 30 page reading material, in all of its flimsy glory and starts asking questions about it

“so uh did you read the whole thing? i thought it was interesting up until the part that i dozed off”

and wonpil got his wish; he sees her eyes shine in surprise at his sudden attempt of an intellectual discussion

but she doesn’t deter him away

and actually, she’s read the whole damn thing. and wonpil was beyond amazed at the level of detail she explains to him about the parts he didn’t understand

he actually starts typing real notes while she was talking

this made her laugh in between her explanations, and wonpil didn’t understand what was so funny about

the fight or flight response

“it’s just. the way you’re typing this down so seriously, i’m sure the prof can explain it better”

wonpil shakes his head no, shakes it so much it hurt his temples

she laughs again, and he likes hearing that sound

“do you want to see what i’ve typed the past hour and a half of this class?’

“bet :p”

“actually nevermind” flashbacks of dsfkjsdjffdslkg ring true in wonpil’s mind as he quickly backspaces the nonsense in his notes

and the conversation continues from more psychology talks, to figuring out they’re in the same major but she’s a recent transfer student from last year

and had been juggling work and school since the start of her senior year

wonpil wonders why he hasn’t seen her in the coffee shop yet

he would have done a double take the first time meeting her there for sure

“oh you’re too kind,” she suddenly replies???

wonpil had said his thoughts out loud

without further embarrassing him, she says that she had only started working there since it’s more convenient for her; wonpil feels grateful she doesn’t dwell on the compliment any longer

alas, the break finishes and the droll of the professor’s voice reverberates throughout the room

this time, though, wonpil definitely feels more alert (awake enthusiastic) as the two of them exchange little comments about the class material

and before you know it, class is over and wonpil is an excited bunny. since they’re by the door they got to leave before everyone else

wonpil thinks it’s time to part ways… but this time they’re not fully strangers at all. they’re taking the same class, same major, they even know each other’s name.

surely this isn’t the last time, right?

“hey, wonpil…” he didn’t even realize that they have started walking towards the bus stop together

“hm?”

“i think i owe you one,” she starts, stopping her tracks to face him. eyebrows up in hesitation, wonpil waits for her to finish

“you know, for taking over your personal space for my own comfort”

“oh that? haha that’s nothing :)” honestly if wonpil can do it again he’d volunteer in a heartbeat

“no, really. let me make it up to you. coffee? on me? i make a mean cappuccino” she winks

it strikes through wonpil’s heart

no need for resuscitation.. yet

“or a matcha latte? whatever you’d like it’ll be on me”

“anything!” wonpil exclaims, suddenly realizing the offer being given to him, the excitement bubbling up inside him again. “i mean, anything you’d like to have me try. surprise me,” he corrects himself

that manages to have her grin widely, eyes twinkling in excitement similar to wonpil’s and he thinks

they can get along

they can get to know each other better this way

“would you be up to go for one now?”

“oh— oh! now?”

“yeah, that way none of us takes the risk of falling asleep back on the bus hehe”

well, he really wouldn’t mind that happening a second time

“really now, wonpil?”

andddd he exposed himself again

it’s fine, she tugs his hand slightly to lead him to the bus that has arrived and wonpil follows in a daze

it’s a little full, so they have no other choice but to stand and hold onto the railings above

“guess no falling asleep here…” she teases, and now wonpil can’t use his hands to hide his blushing face

but the feeling of her just close by

and the scent of coffee lingering in the air

in between them

just inches away from each other

it’ll do for now

#day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 au #kim wonpil scenarios #kim wonpil imagines #kim wonpil x reader #day6 fic #dot series #by:jiae

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allaroundcringey · 4 years ago

Text

Dependency ~ Sherlock Holmes

Chapter 2 ~ Eavesdropping

Pairing : Sherlock x Female Reader

Summary : After a few years John Watson was left no choice but to call his old school mate Amelia Harold. The matter of the call you ask? Sherlock's drug problem. What started out as a simple phone call to help out his friend turned out to be so much more: it gave Amelia Harold a chance to find out who deemed her father guilty of murder. Full of friendship, truth, heartbreak, suspense, and love this story showcases what matters most in life: your friends and family.

Warnings : mention of drug abuse, addiction, and emotional abuse in later chapters

A/N : Just want to pop in and say that I plan on making a master list for this series once I get a few more chapters posted! Also- I think my schedule for posting will be every Sunday since a weeks worth of time ensures I can put out good chapters. If I feel the compulsion to post earlier than that then I will. Enjoy chapter 2!

***I do not own any of these characters, plot ideas, and lines taken directly from the show (though there are only a few of those) anything pertaining to Amelia is my original work.***

Both scattered across the ground due to the velocity of the explosion, Amelia and Sherlock quickly got themselves back together enough to stand up again. Sherlock looking nonchalant, Amelia was forced to question his odd behavior after such an event.

"Does this stuff just... normally happen around here?"

"Yes. Now if you would show yourself out that would be lovely." Sherlock said, flipping his night gown with his hand and heading towards his room. Before he could make it far Amelia stuck out her hand to stop him from going any farther.

"I'll leave when I please. And you'll be polite to me since I am company of John's. And I don't take bullshit from anyone especially from Sherlock Holmes. Understand?"

With a silent nod and look of defeat Sherlock sat back in his chair. Amelia could have left when he told her to since she had no reason to stay but she could not stand Sherlock being rude to her again. The main thought she held was how John was able to put up with such a creature.

In an attempt to clear the silence, Amelia spoke up. Sherlock clearly had the same idea since he started to speak at the same time. With an awkward stare, Sherlock spoke up again.

"Why are you so sensitive about your father?" He said bluntly. In truth he didn't mean for it to sound condescending but like many other things he'd said, especially that night, it did.

"How about you learn to shut your mouth and understand that not everyone is an open book. You definitely aren't." Amelia replied with a scoff.

"I only meant to make conversation." Sherlock snapped. Amelia had had a big enough dose of Sherlock for the night (if not a lifetime) and decided to see herself off. Wondering whether she should say goodbye or simply leave she decided on the latter to avoid more tension.

On her way down the stairs making her way around the corner, she caught a glimpse of Sherlock from where he stood near the window. He looked almost lonely. No, he definitely looked lonely. Contemplating on if she should go back up there he caught her staring and immediately put on a facade and slammed the door shut.

Today being a day off work, Amelia made her way straight to 221B that morning. She peculiarly found that this morning had been the easiest for her to awake since the traumatic events in her early adulthood. Not wanting to acknowledge the sudden, and frankly scary, change she blocked out the thoughts by what today could hold.

Hopefully John could finally have a moment to sit down with her and explain what he had phoned her for in the first place. What on Earth could Sherlock possibly need from her?

Hailing a cab outside her flat she knew that soon enough she would find out.

Pushing her way past the emergency crew outside 221B, Amelia found herself walking up the steps almost as if she had been there many times before. 221B had that affect on people.

When she arrived to the sitting room she found a new face sitting in John's chair. Sherlock of course was sitting in his own chair and John was standing near the desk.

"Hi, did I walk in on something? I'll come back later if you'd like." Amelia spoke directly to John, avoiding the curious gaze the new man cast upon her.

"No it is totally fine. I was just wrapping up anyway. Mycroft Holmes, pleased to meet you." Amelia could tell the smile he put on was fake, and he simply just wanted to get on with the matters that brought him there.

"Amelia Harlod."

"Are you John's girlfriend?" Mycroft asked which received a howl of laughter from John and Amelia.

"Oh my goodness you think I would want to be with this lad?" Amelia laughed, pointing her thumb at John, gasping for breath.

"Mycroft we've been friends since primary school only having recently reconnected again. Nothing of the relationship sorts." John explained so Mycroft could understand.

"Oh. Sorry to imply anything." Somewhat embarrassed, although trying to hide it the best he could, Mycroft turned back to Sherlock. "Maybe you can get through to him John. Or even possibly you Ms. Harold. Sherlock I don't think you understand how urgent this case is."

Tuning out since she felt it wasn't her place to listen, Amelia looked on at the damage that was caused to the flat due to last nights events. All of the previously skewed decorations were truly thrown all over the place now. She questioned whether it was safe to be in the flat at the moment but decided either way it didn't matter. She would have gone in no matter the answer.

Drawn away from her investigation of sorts, she found that Mycroft was getting into the details of the case he wanted Sherlock to take.

"Andrew West was found dead on the train tracks this morning." He stated.

"Tried to kill himself?" John questioned, even though that seemed self explanatory.

"Seems like the ovbious solution but no. West was believed to have held the plans for a missile defense system that are on a memory stick. These are now missing."

"That's not very clever."

"Assuming they have any brain's, it's not the only copy." Amelia added into the conversation, with a look of approval from Mycroft.

"Yes. Indeed that is the case." Turning his attention from John and Amelia he faced Sherlock. "You need to find these plans brother. Don't make me order you."

"I'd like to see you attempt that." Sherlock answered with an eye roll.

"Think on it." Mycroft insisted, that seeming to be his goodbye to his brother. Walking towards John he shook his hand and said his departures to him.

"Goodbye Ms. Harold it was nice to meet you. I hope I'll be seeing more of you." Mycroft added then promptly left the flat.

Annoyingly Sherlock played an ear splitting tune on his violin to match Mycroft leaving.

As soon as Mycroft was out of ear shot John started in on Sherlock. "Why did you tell him you've been busy? Your schedule is completely free to the point it's making you go mad."

"Why not?"

"So it's a rivalry between you two, a sibling rivalry? I wouldn't put it past you." Amelia thought out loud.

"You've known me for a day don't make assumptions." Sherpock answered, dragging the 'day.'

The ringing of Sherlock's phone started cutting off the argument that was bound to happen if the conversation lingered. He immediately picked it up and extanged a few words with whoever was on the other side.

"Ah. How could I say no." He hung up the phone and got up from where he was sitting to leave the flat. "Lestrade called to summon me. Are you coming John?"

"Yeah I guess so." John stuttered throwing a questioning look towards Amelia not sure what to do.

"Oh don't stand there looking like a lost puppy. Come along if you must." Sherlock said frustrated. Amelia wanting to say no just to retaliate but realizing she had no other plans for the day was forced to listen to him, and she followed the consulting detective and blogger out the door.

Not returning to the flat until late that night, the three of them were simply exhausted. Sherlock didn't bother to make conversation before heading straight into his room and closing the door behind him. Not that he would have in the first place. Finally having a moment of silence to speak, Amelia and John sat in the sitting room. Sherlock not being there to reprimand her, Amelia sat in his chair.

"I'm sorry it's taken so long to sit down together." John sighed as he sank into his chair.

"Nothing to worry about. I actually had a bit of fun today." Shifting in the chair so her elbows rested on her knees she looked directly at John. "I know you wouldn't have phoned me without a purpose. Not to just catch up."

"I'm sorry for that too. I know I should have called earlier not just when I needed you. I hope you can forgive me because truly I am so glad we are talking again."

"John of course I forgive you. It's my nature to not stay mad at anyone, you know that. Now tell me what you need because I'm getting impatient." Amelia replied with a light laugh.

"It's not widely known to the public but Sherlock tends to not have the healthiest of coping mechanism. Particularly when he's bored."

"Like he was yesterday."

"Yes, exactly. I know that when things with your father went down," Amelia took a sharp inhale at the mention of him as John continued on, "you experienced some of the same things. To put it bluntly I was wondering if you could help Sherlock get over his drug addiction. He says he can easily do it on his own and all other sorts of excuses but something that complicated can't be done by yourself. I'm sure you would understand."

"You would understand also. You were always there for me." Amelia commented with a sad smile, reminiscing on the past.

"I know it's a lot to ask and if you think it will be triggering in any way-" before John could finish Amelia cut him off.

"Even if it is I know how to handle myself. And I can see that you clearly care for Sherlock a lot. And although I don't want to admit it, I see why you care. Of course I'll help in anyway possible."

"Amelia you never cease to amaze me. Thank you again." John said as he got up to hug Amelia. Only staying in the hug for a moment, they released each other when John spoke up once again.

"I know you don't love talking about it but you do know if you need someone to talk to about anything pertaining to your father you know you can come to me. Right?"

"Yes John. I appreciate it." Amelia sighed, which then turned into a yawn.

"You can stay here tonight if you'd like since it's late. Cabs don't usually circle around here at this hour."

"That would be lovely John."

"You can have my bed if you'd like." John offered gesturing towards the upstairs bedroom.

"Well now, that would just be confirming Mycroft's suspicions John! The couch is just fine in all seriousness. Now get to bed." Amelia lightly slapped John across the shoulder in an attempt to shoo him off. After an extange of goodnights, John was off to his bed.

Alone again, Amelia sat on the couch and rubbed her face with her hands. After all these years it was still hard to openly talk about her father. Not wanting to think about him longer she gingerly laid down on the couch, calling it a night.

After he heard the final noises of the couch moving, Sherlock sat up from where he was on the floor next to his door with a hard look on his face. Eavesdropping was a bad habit of his. After learning the new information on Amelia and that her intentions were truly good he felt remorse for treating her rudely. He wasn't sure how to make up for his actions. In typical Sherlock fashion he didn't feel comfortable or right saying sorry. Deciding to sleep on it, Sherlock laid down in his bed. Alone again.

#sherlock x reader #sherlock fandom #sherlock bbc #bbc sherlock #sherlock #john watson #holmes and watson #sherlock fanfiction #sherlock fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #dependency

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canaryatlaw · 4 years ago

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OKAY LET’S WRITE. Today was not bad. Up at 8:45 for 9 am court as usual, I had to wait a little longer than lately to get in but when the coordinator came back they were like oh yeah there was an emergency to deal with but we’ll send you in right now which was nice, they’ve definitely been giving me priority lately which is very nice after weeks of waiting until noon for my 9 am case to be called (if they got to it before lunch that is of course). We’ll see what happens tomorrow because they’ll be at least 2 other parties on the line, my client is coming and we’re pretty certain the dude will show, but I have no idea if he’s gonna bring a lawyer or not (though at this point I would guess not, which makes my life easier) so I guess we’ll have to see what happens there. but yeah, court was fine, super quick. I was going to try to see if I could nap again because I wasn’t on call or have any other immediate tasks, but I did have a good bit of work to get done, so I stayed up and did that. I did get distracted for a solid amount of time though writing a very thorough, multi-paragraph with all sources cited facebook comment on a political issue, which is rare for me, because I generally try not to start fights on other people’s posts, I mean if you want to come on my post and try to fight I will happily pummel you into the ground, but I’m not gonna go around starting fights, if they’re really bad I’ll hide them from my news feed, which I’ve had to do with quite of few of my parents friends who have now friended me because I was the source of communication for everything with my dad. anyway. the post was by my high school English teacher, who I happen to like and respect quite a bit (I’ll never forget when they’d graded our state mandated tests over winter break, and she was so excited me and a guy friend had gotten 100s that she told us over facebook instead of having to wait till break was over. She was fun like that.) She’d reposted some diatribe about a “former liberal” now being on Trump’s side after stating a bunch of things about the “main stream media” twisting Trump’s words and such but she provided no sources or anything, and she had just stated she found the post interesting, and it got under my skin enough for someone I really respect posting things I know are false that I ended up spending way too long crafting a comment with each point cited from a source that was outside “MSM” and just being like look, I don’t want to start a fight here, I would just like her to have the information. She commented back a bit later saying something I wasn’t terribly satisfied with (like more focused on people switching sides and she’d read through the links but didn’t trust much from the media, and I was just like....yeah you definitely missed half the point there, but I’m not going to bother replying and potentially actually starting an argument. Interestingly enough, this evening a friend of hers replied to my comment regarding the child separation policies at the border that I had mentioned, and she’d had first hand experience with family in Mexico and all the horrors she’s seen. and like, I pivoted so hard from “politics are important and I must give my opinion” to “oh forget that please talk to me about child welfare I care about that so much more” 😂 so we had a pleasant and informative discussion about that that I was satisfied with. BUT ANYWAY. I had plenty of work to do so I kept doing it and not much else, up until 2 when I had a call scheduled with this client. without giving away details, this guy is stalking her like nuts and it makes me so mad to hear (I mean it always makes me mad to hear these things, but when I’ve like, interacted and spoken with the person like I have so much more contempt for them when I hear about the awful shit they’re doing). So we were brainstorming some things for that and I think we came up with a good plan going forward. After that I actually jumped onto another call that wasn’t strictly work, as I’ve said before my super awesome church is starting a justice center project that mostly revolves around attorneys giving legal advice and helping low-income people have access to legal services, so of course as soon as I heard about this I jumped on so fast, and today I had a check in call with one of the guys helping run it, who I actually knew from volunteering with the babies/kids, him and his wife are both awesome lawyers and great friends, so it was nice to get to speak to him a bit to catch up and get some more clarity on what’s happening going forward, so as of now I’m set to shadow someone doing a shift (this is all virtual right now ofc) next Friday and start on have my first one on Saturday, so that’s exciting. but right, work. I continued to work for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening because I had a lot to do and felt a lot less anxious about these things if I just went ahead and got them done. I eventually stopped around 7:30, there’s still a few things I need to do but I can figure them out tomorrow. Tomorrow’s court case is slightly more complicated than the ones I’ve had lately, but it’s nothing crazy so I’m not concerned. And yeah, once I finished work I basically watched Fresh Off the Boat for the rest of the night and relaxed while looking at pinterest recipes trying to figure out a dinner recipe that featured the few vegetables I have at the moment, and also only require the ingredients I already have, so that was a lot of searching, but I came up with a few to choose between now, hopefully for dinner tomorrow. and yeah, a bit after 11 I decided to shut the tv off, and proceed to shower and start to get ready for bed and now I’m here and it’s almost 2:30 am and I have to be awake for court and I’m on call for the hotline so there’s basically zero chance I can take a nap tomorrow, so for all those reasons I’m signing off here. Goodnight loves. Happy Friday (whatever it brings for you).

#daily journal #September 2020

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shippostsandshitposts · 5 years ago

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You Thought Parenting Couldn’t Get Worse (Sanders Sides Superhero!AU) - 2

based on this post

chapter one

A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback on the first chapter! It made me so, so happy. And also people wanted a taglist, which I’ve never been asked for before, so that was amazing. I’ll try to keep a decent update schedule to keep y’all reading, which might be hard because I’ve got school starting up next week, but just so much thanks to all of you.

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit/Remus, swearing

Ships: Platonic/Sibling!DLAMPR, eventual Emile Picani/Remy

Logan was very much not a morning person. He did enjoy being as productive as humanly possible, but most of that productive work happened at nighttime for him. He also wasn’t much for coffee and tea didn’t seem to keep him awake as much as he’d like. But, alas, he had too many siblings to sleep in that much. “Logan! It’s morning!”

Logan glanced up to see a very blurry outline of his youngest sibling. He reached for his glasses and sat up so he could actually see. “Yes, Patton. I would assume, as you are waking me up.” Logan sighed. “What I don’t know is why you are so excited by the fact that it is the morning.” “Uncle Emile’s making waffles,” Patton replied, bouncing Logan’s bed slightly. If it were anyone else, including his other siblings, Logan would have pushed him off the bed and gone back to sleep, but there was something about Patton’s innocent grin and the sparkle in his eyes that stopped Logan from laying a hand on him. “Waffles do sound appealing,” Logan said with a small smile, picking up Patton and pulling himself out of bed. When they reached the kitchen, Roman and Remus had already finished their breakfasts and were off to do the usual stupid things they did for the Internet’s approval. Whatever they were doing couldn’t be safe in the slightest, but it apparently involved two skateboards and several water bottles. Logan placed Patton down in his usual place at the breakfast table before sitting down as well. “I have heard you’re making waffles.” “Correct!” Emile smiled, giving each of them a plate. “How are you two doing this morning?” “Good!” Patton chirped, already digging into his breakfast. “Fairly good,” Logan replied. “Hey, where’s Dorian? He’s usually up by now,” Emile asked, turning back to the waffle-maker. “I’ll go check on him,” Logan volunteered. He would get Virgil as well, but no one woke up Virgil before 10 AM without a large bruise. Logan went back upstairs and poked his head into Dorian and Virgil’s shared room. Virgil was curled up in his usual position, but Dorian was spread out on his bed with the sheets untucked, as if he started to get in bed and then passed on top of it anyway. “Dorian.” Logan hissed, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Dorian, get up.” “Shuddup,” Dorian murmured quietly, but otherwise didn’t move. “Dorian, you’re usually up by now. What’s wrong?” Logan huffed. Dorian still wouldn’t budge.

“Something’s wrong with Dorian.” Patton frowned. “I’ll try!” He hopped out of his chair and sprinted upstairs. Logan sighed and sat back down. “You sure you’re alright, kiddo?” Emile asked. Logan nodded silently. Patton hurried back downstairs. “He won’t get up, and I don’t want to make too much noise.” Emile groaned. “My turn, I guess. Logan, can you give Patton his meds?” “Yeah,” Logan replied. Emile went back into Dorian and Virgil’s room to see an awake Virgil, which wasn’t normal in the slightest. “Hey Virgie, did we wake you up?” Emile frowned. “Go ahead back to sleep.” “Nah, I’m awake now, might as well eat food,” he sighed, making his way downstairs. Emile glanced back to Virgil before going over to Dorian’s bed. “Dorian, c’mon, you’re scaring us.” He firmly shook Dorian’s shoulder. “Dorian. Dorian, let’s go.” He frustratedly snapped his fingers near Dorian’s ear. Suddenly, Dorian shot up in bed with a hurried, “What time is it?” Emile glanced at the clock. “Around nine thirty. You slept in a lot more than usual. Kinda freaked out Logan, Pat, and I.” “I’m up after Virgil?” Dorian asked, eyebrows furrowed. “That’s a first. I should probably go downstairs.” “Yeah, you should.” Emile watched as Dorian left, extremely confused as to what just happened.

Roman and Remus came back into the apartment around noon, covered in water and bruises, as expected. No one batted an eye until Remus said, “Ooh, I found a knife in my pocket!” “Wait, what?” Emile held his hand out. “Let me see.” Remus handed it over, and it indeed was a compact dagger, covered with a lime green sheath. “Where did you get this?” Remus shrugged. “I just found it.” Emile looked him over, seeing no obvious damage, and pocketed the knife. “Alright. I’m gonna hold onto it. You two shouldn’t be playing with knives.” Remus huffed but walked back to his room without a word. TAGLIST: @a-fandom-trashdump @liz-a-bell @aphandgflover @conipow @katri-the-pun-lover (hopefully that’s everyone who wanted to be tagged)

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides au #sanders sides fic #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus

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maxfieldparrishes · 6 years ago

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shake the bones

Part IV. Insomnia is a bitch.

(read on AO3)

The night air is chilly, but Kallen pays it no mind as her feet take her wherever they please.

She stumbles as the side of her foot comes down hard on a seam in the pavement, but she rights herself and finds her footing, running on with wild abandon into the night. Tokyo does not sleep and neither does she, no matter how tired she feels or how heavy her eyes are and she's come to learn that, when these agonizingly slow nights find her, there's nothing she can do but meet them where they are.

She runs past her favorite corner store, past the train station that takes her to school, towards the river, dodging those in her way. Most of the passersby are drunk and smiling, turning to look at her with bleary, glassy eyes as she sprints past them. One group has a man who shouts after her, but she forgets about him as she pushes herself into a sprint to make a light.

The park is full of shadows when she arrives, and the only sounds she hears are traffic and night birds, just as she wanted. The Shibuya river is a trickle, a narrow canal compared to the width of the Kano and the estuaries where she'd grown up, but there's something soothing about being near flowing water. Kallen takes a minute to take in the sight of the Shibuya, the lights of the city glinting on it through the trees, but then her restlessness seizes her by the throat and she has to run again.

She has two options: run until she vomits, or scream at the top of her lungs for an hour straight. Running doesn't bring the cops or piss off the neighbors, so that's what she chooses.

Kallen remembers all the trees in Izu. Beech, black pine, cedar--cryptomeria, she remembers Naoto had called by its Latin name. She remembers Naoto taking her into the woods, a little girl with coltish legs and too much energy, quizzing her on birds. As she runs, she pushes herself to recall as many as she can: Pacific loon, greater short-toed lark, Japanese skylark... She takes a ragged, gasping breath--barn swallow, Pacific swallow, Japanese waxwing--and tries to ignore the burning in her calves. Japanese thrush, Eurasian tree sparrow, Japanese bush warbler, and she falls to her knees, hard, in the middle of the path, rolling off to lay panting next to a cypress tree.

She wonders where that little girl went. Kallen is sure she doesn't know.

Kallen raises a fist and pounds it against the tree trunk, the rest of her body still. Whatever it is that hovers over her, she can't fight it, and she can't outrun it. All she wants to do is run until she collapses, to push herself, feel nothing but strain until she forgets herself.

There's something bubbling inside her, water or lava, she doesn't know. Geyser or volcano?

Kallen raises her hand and wipes sloppily at her face, smearing snot, sweat--and are those tears?--but she stays laying where she is. Hopefully, no one will come by and question why there's a young woman laying on her side under a tree, in a deserted park, at three in the morning.

She gives herself five more deep breaths, then she'll get up. Otherwise, she has an utterly bizarre feeling that whatever possesses her on these nights is going to drag her back home, face down on the pavement, by the nape of the neck. It's not rational, but it motivates her to move when otherwise she'd just lay there, blinking and sleepless, until the sun comes up.

Kallen pushes herself upright, sighs, shakes the dirt and leaves from her hair, and begins her run back.

When she sees her apartment complex, Kallen slows herself into a jog for the last few blocks. Her street, so busy in the morning, is silent and still now, the few lights peering out from the windows muddied and dim. But soon, she knows, there will be a slow trickle of people, then a flood of them, as they all rush out to make their way to school, or work, or wherever it is they're going.

She had left Lelouch asleep on the sofa he had moved, and he hadn't stirred as she tiptoed past and silently shut the door behind her. Hopefully she can return and slip inside, back in her room, without waking him; if she's really lucky, her door won't squeak at all.

Technically, she's supposed to use the main entrance. But the service door is easily wiggled opened, and it's far closer to her apartment than walking all the way around to the front of the building. Kallen slips inside, jogs up the stairs to the fifth floor, trying to remember all the while why she wanted a fifth floor unit (a little bit bigger and a private bathroom), and sticks her hand down what passes as the pocket of her leggings to find her key.

Slowly, incredibly carefully, she inserts the key and presses it to the inside of the lock, making sure to maintain the pressure as she twists it open, and then takes the knob in her still-sweaty hand and twists that too. Kallen tiptoes inside and turns to press the door almost silently shut, bracing a knee against it as she turns the lock to the "closed" position, not noticing that the small lamp on her bookshelf is on. To be fair, the light from said lamp is super dim, so dim that if she turns it on in the daytime it's almost like it isn't on at all.

"You know, for a woman who's so deadly in a Knightmare, I'm surprised you aren't more aware of your surroundings outside of one."

Kallen leans her head back and closes her eyes. "First of all, save it, because I'm not in the mood. Second of all, you were asleep when I left."

"I was." Lelouch stretches his legs out in front of him, sweeping them to the side to sit fully up. "I think I just missed you. I heard the door squeak and by the time I fully woke up you were gone."

Damn that door. "Well, I'm back, so you can go back to sleep," Kallen says, moving to take the yoga mat from its spot under the side table and unrolling it in front of the television. "This doesn't make much noise." But as she starts her post-run routine and goes into Downward-facing Dog, stretching out her hamstrings and back, she notices that Lelouch is staring at her, and his expression is... unamused.

"So this is it, then?"

"What are you talking about?" she asks between deep breaths, pedaling each foot before stretching her heels down to the ground.

"Are we not going to talk about the fact that you decided that three in the morning was an excellent time to go for a run?" Lelouch sits up straighter. "Where did you go?"

"One, I'm an adult and I can run at three a.m. if I want to, it's none of your damn business," Kallen responds, "and two, Shibuya."

"You ran to Shibuya?"

"Yes, Lelouch, I ran to Shibuya," she says, lowering herself into Cobra, keeping her breathing rhythmic. "Most people are capable of running. Some of us even enjoy it." Kallen finds it in her to be amused by his glower.

"Fine, fine. You can do what you want," he says, with an airy sigh and a wave of his hand, "but why?"

Crap. "No other time to do it," she says, after one beat too long, and she knows that Lelouch knows she's lying. Kallen hopes he'll drop it, and decide it's too early in the morning for an interrogation, but death hasn't made Lelouch any less ruthless.

"Really. So you do this every morning?" he asks. "This is your routine?"

Kallen pushes herself back into a runner's lunge. "Just drop it."

Wrong thing to say. Lelouch has never let anything go in his entire life, both the first half and the second. "What's going on?" he asks, and there's genuine concern underneath the irritation, and that little hint of concern pisses her the fuck off.

"Nothing."

"Kallen," he starts, his tone even and so annoyingly rational, that she comes out of her forward fold with a vengeance.

"What?" she snaps. "You want to know why I ran? Because I can't sleep and I can't stay here all night and stare at nothing. So I go for runs. I don't want to stay awake, but I can't sleep. I don't... I don't shut off. I never have. When this kind of night hits me it's just... there's really nothing else I can do but run."

Lelouch is staring at her again, slightly shell-shocked. "Do you have trouble sleeping a lot?" he asks.

"Don't psychoanalyze me," Kallen snaps again. "Do you think I have trouble sleeping?"

"I wouldn't really know, considering I've been... dead," he says, "but I'm going to go with yes."

"A-plus, here's a gold star." Kallen starts to roll up the mat. "Now you know."

"Yes," Lelouch says, "and the question is, what are you going to do about it? You can't function like this."

That stops her dead in her tracks. "What am I going to do about it? I have tried everything. Valerian root, melatonin, benadryl, everything. What are you going to do about it?"

He doesn't have an answer ready for that. Lelouch has always had a plan for everything, but he cannot fix Kallen, just like he couldn't fix Nunnally, or C.C., or Suzaku. He cannot make her better. When the world was wrong, before, he had fixed it. But this is different. "What about seeing a doctor? There are options for medications," he asks, resisting the urge snark back at her.

"Pills are out of the question." Kallen waves her hand. "You get one guess as to why."

"Right." Lelouch blinks and puts his elbows on his knees. "So... that's it?"

"That's it." Kallen stows the mat underneath the side table. "Nothing else to do about it. Not right now, anyway." Turning her back on him, she says, "I'm going to take a shower. You should try to sleep," and goes off without a backwards glance.

He had tried to stay awake, but the light was still low and the night still held sway outside, and the sound of the shower running provided the white noise he liked, and he had fallen back asleep before he realized it was happening.

Lelouch had wondered about the shadows under Kallen's eyes when she first picked him up, but chalked it up to her grueling schedule, as she had told him when they arrived. Now he knows better.

When he woke, Kallen was gone, and the clock told him it was well before the time she needed to leave by. Lelouch wonders if she had slept at all. He doubts it.

He needs her to help him, but Lelouch think he needs to help her first. Kallen is loyal, honest, one of the strongest people he knows, but she is struggling. Neither is she happy, and though it may be self-centered, Lelouch's first thought is that he didn't die and come back to life for her to be miserable in the new world they helped make together.

His second thought is that there's no food in the apartment. Lelouch grabs the apartment phone, the sticky note with Kallen's cell number, and leaves a voicemail with a grocery list.

#kalulu #lulukare #lelouch x kallen #kallen x lelouch #otp: you have to live #better late than never! *finger guns*#don't @ me i love them sm #code geass

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blurry-fics · 6 years ago

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Attitude

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol consumption and drunken behavior, angst

Word Count: 1873

Request: basically Josh and the reader have a love hate relationship, maybe she is best friends with Tyler who we all know is friends with Josh. maybe she loves to push his buttons till one day he admits he is in love with her. i can see it like she gets an attitude and calls Josh our real fast, he laughs his fucking gorgeous laugh and goes “God, i’m in love with you and your attitude.” -@svintsandghosts

Author’s Note: Just realized I diverged from the request a little, but hopefully you still like it! Also, this is the first post with the new schedule. I tried adding a gif this time around, is that something all of you would be interested in as well? I’m just trying lots of new things out. Anyway, enjoy this fic!

“Y/N!” Tyler called from the living room.

You rolled over in bed, groaning to yourself. The clock on the bedside table read 11:30. That was to be expected, you had gone out again last night and stayed out way later than you should have.

“What?” you called back.

“Get up! People are going to be here in like half an hour.”

“Fine, but I’m not happy about it!” you answered.

You got out bed and headed towards the bathroom. The smell of alcohol was still highly evident on your shirt, a result of forgetting to change into a proper pajama shirt when you finally stumbled home. It fell to the floor in an unceremonious heap as you stripped it off and tossed it into the corner of the bathroom.

You wondered who was coming over. Tyler hadn’t mentioned having company, which he was usually pretty good about considering you were roommates. That meant that the plans had been last minute, most likely meaning that it was Josh who was coming over.

Josh.

Whenever you two were together, you always seemed to be pushing one another’s buttons. It had been like that ever since Tyler had introduced the two of you a couple years ago. Things between you had been normal at first, until the one fateful day that you learned just how fun it was to see Josh mildly annoyed. Your relationship hadn’t been the same ever since.

You pushed the thought from your mind and instead directed your attention to getting ready for the day. One glance in the mirror told you that you looked just about as bad as you currently felt. A shower would help you feel--and look--a little better, you hoped.

“Who’s coming over today?” you asked as you arrived downstairs.

Tyler was in the kitchen, making himself some toast. You walked over and leaned against the counter.

“Josh for sure. There were a couple other people that said they might be able to hang out today, but they didn’t have a definite answer.”

“Great,” you muttered.

“Hey, maybe you two will get along today.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “And the sun will set in the east too.”

“Come on, Y/N,” Tyler said as you made yourself some cereal. “I know you two could get along really well if you tried.”

“But it’s just so much more fun to press all his buttons! I mean, you’ve seen the face he makes when I sit too close to him, right?”

Tyler sighed, “Many times.”

“So you get it!”

Tyler grabbed his plate of toast and moved into the dining room, “No.”

“Fine, I’ll try to be civil for you, Ty. But if he makes one comment that rubs me the wrong way, it’s game over.”

“As long as you try to be nice.”

“I think your definition of nice is different than mine,” you huffed as you sat down at the table.

“You know, I think you two could really get a good thing going if you weren’t at each other’s throats every second of the day.”

You snorted, “Ty, you aren’t really implying what I think you are, are you?”

“I’m just saying, there may be a deeper meaning behind why you two are always pushing the other’s buttons.”

“Definitely not. I could never imagine being any type of intimate with Josh.”

“Sure,” Tyler said before taking a bite of his toast.

You idly stirred your cereal around as you thought over Tyler’s words. Thankfully, he was too busy looking at his phone to notice the color that was now in your cheeks. The relationship between you and Josh wasn’t anything other than your stereotypical love-hate friendship.

Right?

“Josh is here!” Tyler called up the stairs.

“Ok!” you answered.

You grabbed a sweatshirt from the back of your desk chair and pulled it on as you headed down the stairs. The boys were already in the living room as you arrived downstairs, and Tyler had done you the honor of leaving an empty spot on the couch next to Josh. With a sigh, you made yourself comfortable at the end of the couch.

“You’re awake,” Josh smiled. “After how much you drank last night, I thought you would have been sleeping your hangover away.”

“Trust me, that’s what I wish I was doing.”

Tyler shot you a look from the other end of the couch, but you ignored it. Josh, on the other hand, seemed amused by your comeback.

“Glad we’re on the same page then.”

Tyler sighed and ruffled his hair, “I was really fooling myself when I thought you two were going to get along today, huh?”

“Probably,” Josh laughed.

You slowly began to stretch out your legs so that your feet were pressed against Josh’s thigh. The second that he noticed, he pressed his tongue into his cheek and slowly turned to you. He raised an eyebrow, but you simply smiled at him.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“My legs were getting tired from being bent, so I decided to stretch a little.”

“And that involves touching me, why?”

“Well, you’re kind of taking up the whole middle of the couch, so I don’t really know how you expect me to sit here and not touch you.”

“Tyler is doing it just fine.”

You looked to Tyler, who simply shook his head a little. He obviously wouldn’t be of any help in this situation.

“Fine,” you huffed, swiveling your body so that your legs were now rested on the coffee table. “Better?”

“Yes.”

You crossed your arms and tried to mask the fact that you were disappointed you could no longer annoy Josh. Meanwhile, he had turned to Tyler and began to talk about a festival that they had played together recently. Since there wasn’t much you could contribute to the conversation, you leaned back against the pillows and closed your eyes.

“Feeling alright, Y/N?” Tyler asked.

Apparently you hadn’t been as well rested as you thought, considering Tyler’s voice had pulled you back from the edge of being asleep. You slowly blinked your eyes open and leaned up so that you could see him.

“Still don’t feel great after last night,” you laughed.

“That’s because you were plastered,” Josh chimed in.

“You drank just as much as I did.”

“At least I could walk straight at the end of the night.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault that the sidewalk was wobbling.”

Josh mocked what you were saying, so you reached out and shoved his arm. He barely moved, which only added to your annoyance.

“You want to try that again?” Josh asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” you huffed as you crossed your arms.

Tyler had pulled out his phone in an attempt to block out the feud between you and Josh. He looked up when he realized that you two had stopped fighting.

“Are you two done now?” he asked.

You threw an arm into the air, “I’m not the one causing the problem.”

Josh’s eyebrows shot straight into the air as he turned to look at you, “Are you implying that I am?”

“It’s not an implication when what you’re saying is fact.”

“All I said was that you got really drunk last night, then you turned it into an argument.”

“No, I said that we drank the same amount and then you had to make a comment about me not being able to walk.”

“Because you couldn’t!”

“I’m getting lunch, do you two want anything?” Tyler announced, putting a temporary end to the debate.

“Where are you going?” you asked.

“The sandwich place down the street.”

“I’ll just have my usual.”

“Me too.”

“Great,” Tyler said. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

“You’re just leaving us here?” you asked.

“Aw, are you scared of not having Tyler here to back you up?” Josh teased.

“No,” you retaliated, although you weren’t sure how truthful it was.

“Try not to tear each other’s heads off while I’m gone,” Tyler said before disappearing out the front door.

The house became eerily quiet as soon as the door shut. You adjusted yourself a bit to try and get rid of the uncomfortable feeling that had formed in your stomach.

“I’m surprised it took him that long to get fed up and leave,” Josh said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, that might be a record.”

You and Josh shared a look and began to laugh. If there was one thing that never failed to unite the two of you, it was annoying Tyler.

“Are you actually feeling ok? You were in pretty bad shape last night.”

“Yeah, I’m ok,” you smiled, although you were a bit skeptical at his change in demeanor. “I just had a lot on my mind and needed a break from all of it. And everyone knows that drinking to forget is always a healthy coping mechanism.”

“You making questionable decisions isn’t really new information.”

You shot him a look and tried to ignore how much his statement had actually hurt you.

“Not all of us are as well-adjusted as you, Josh,” you retorted, adding a hint of anger to your tone.

“I’m not trying to take a dig at you, Y/N.”

“Then what was the point of that statement?”

“I’m just saying you don’t always take care of yourself like you should and it worries me.”

You should have known that any moment of peace between you and Josh would quickly be ended by some snarky comment.

“When have you ever been concerned about me? You just like to push my buttons and laugh when I get upset. We have a love-hate relationship, Josh, that’s just how it goes.”

“Y/N, I-”

You cut him off, “I just don’t understand why you’re even pretending like you care right now. Tyler isn’t here, it’s not like he’s going to see you being nice to me and think any more of you.”

“Can I just-”

“No, I’m not done talking,” you huffed. “I’m tired of you acting like you’re so much better than me and know so much more about the world just because I’m a few years younger than you and Tyler. It doesn’t mean that-”

“Can you just shut up and let me say what I need to say?”

“Why don’t you come over here and make me?”

Josh answered by leaning forward and pulling you into a kiss. You were surprised at first, but you quickly relaxed into it and rested a hand on his chest. His heart was pounding so hard that you could feel it against your fingertips. When he finally pulled away, you couldn’t think of anything to say.

“God, I’m in love with you and your attitude,” he whispered.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that,” you giggled.

Josh moved back to where he had previously been sitting just in time for Tyler to open the door and walk inside. He was whistling to himself, completely unaware of the entire exchange that had just occurred between you and Josh.

“It’s so quiet in here,” he said as he set the food on the coffee table. “I’m surprised you two aren’t arguing.”

“Yeah,” you said, sharing a knowing look with Josh. “Me too.”

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bearly-writing · 6 years ago

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@lemonadepluto requested “Worked Themselves to Exhaustion” with Hunk, for the @badthingshappenbingo

Thank you very much for the prompt! I’m so sorry that it took so long - I struggled with this one for some reason, so it might not be exactly what you were looking for. Hopefully you enjoy it anyway! :)

Crosses are posted and circles are requested. To the people who have requested fics - I promise I am writing them!

Shut Your Eyes And Sleep

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Prompt: Worked Themselves To Exhaustion

Characters: Hunk, Shiro, Lance, Pidge, Keith

Warnings: Exhaustion

Summary: As soon as the lions are joined, Shiro realises the mistake he had made, letting Hunk join them on this mission without forcing him to get some rest. Piloting the lions is a strain, Voltron even more so, and Shiro can feel the energy draining out of Hunk as he struggles to hold himself in place. It tugs at Shiro in a way he doesn’t particularly like. It’s enough of a strain to force Voltron together when he only has his own exhaustion to deal with.

Read it on AO3 here!

***

Hunk is still working when Shiro finds him. The pale, fluorescent light of the lab washes a sickly glow over his face. It drips across the wrinkles furrowed into his brow. The dark circles punched under his eyes like bruises.

The paladin doesn’t hear him come in, or if he does, there’s no acknowledgment. Hunk’s hands are moving quickly over the tech on the table in front of him.

“How long have you been working on that?”

Hunk’s shoulders hunch, warding off the question as if it’s a blow. He doesn’t seem surprised though, which means Hunk had heard him come in and was just ignoring him. Shiro isn’t sure how he feels about that. “I need to finish it.”

When he glances up and offers Shiro a small smile, Shiro is struck by how tired he looks. How worn and thin his smile is, as if it’s stretched too far across his face.

“Can’t it wait till the morning?”

Hunk is already shaking his head. “Every second counts. If I don’t get this done before the flare, who knows how many people could die.”

And that’s the crux of the issue. The solar flare currently threatening the little planet they had landed on a few days earlier - the planet who’s shield had malfunctioned, who’s shield Hunk had promised to fix.

“You don’t have to kill yourself over this,” Shiro says, gently, even though he knows that’s exactly what Hunk is going to do. “Evacuation is still an option.”

Hunk’s mouth twists unhappily. “Not according to the Cilluan council.”

Shiro feels his own mouth pull into a grimace in response. There’s a small part of Shiro, one that he would never show to Hunk, that wonders why they bother to help people who clearly don’t want to be helped. He knows that Hunk wouldn’t appreciate that thought though - which is why he’s currently working on the shield tech for the third night in a row.

“Have you got any sleep since we landed?” Shiro asks instead. He already knows the answer, but perhaps forcing Hunk to say it out loud will make him realise what a bad idea this is.

“Of course.” Hunk has never been good at lying. When Shiro doesn’t respond, Hunk can’t help filling the silence. It’s an old interrogation technique - one that Shiro employs on a surprisingly regular basis - of all the Paladins, only Keith seems content to let silence lie. “I’ve got a few hours.”

“A few hours?” Shiro repeats, flatly. He doesn’t mean it to be accusing, exactly, but the look Hunk shoots him screams hypocrite even though the Yellow Paladin would never actually say it. Shiro feels appropriately chagrined. Still, he knows that his own sleep schedule isn’t the healthiest, but that doesn’t mean that he should let Hunk’s lack of sleep slide.

“Just make sure you get some rest OK. You can’t help the Cilluans if you’re dead on your feet.”

Hunk just nods, already focused back on the task in front of him. Shiro wants to stay, wants to force Hunk to go to bed and get some rest. But standing over the Yellow Paladin all night isn’t going to help either of them, and as much as Shiro wishes he could, he can’t force any of the Paladins to do something if they really don’t want to do it.

He’s their leader, but this isn’t the garrison. There’s not much he can do to force their submission - and he doesn’t want to. So he just offers Hunk his own nod in response and quietly leaves the room. He can only trust that Hunk knows his limits.

***

Shiro wakes later than usual the next morning. It happens, occasionally, when Shiro manages to get a good night. Still, he feels a little guilty as he peels himself out of bed and changes into his armour. It’s still early enough that most of the others are sleeping, but Shiro has more work to do than any of them - more responsibility.

He considers going down to the lab, to check on Hunk and his shield tech. But Shiro isn’t sure what he’d do if he did find Hunk still working there. Maybe it’s better not knowing.

The decision is rendered moot when Shiro wanders closer to the kitchen and hears someone clattering around in there, smells something sweet and floury in the air. There’s only one person who would be awake and cooking so early in the morning. Sure enough, when Shiro follows the smell of pancakes into the kitchen, Hunk is carefully setting plates down on the large communal table.

“Hunk?” This time Hunk doesn’t pretend not to hear him. He glances up when Shiro enters the room, and offers the Black Paladin a small smile. Even in the considerably friendlier lights of the kitchen he looks too pale, his face sallow and sunken. “What are you doing?”

“I finished it,” Hunk says, grinning.

Shiro is impressed. He had honestly thought that the tech was unfixable - that the Paladin’s would be strong-arming the Cilluans into an evacuation attempt whether they liked it or not. “That’s great Hunk.”

The Yellow Paladin looks pleased with himself, even if he’s clearly trying to hide it by turning his face down towards the plate in his hand. And Shiro is pleased. Honestly. But he’s less pleased about the fact that Hunk obviously stayed up all night, again to do it.

“Why are you making breakfast?”

Hunk looks startled at that, as if he’s forgotten that’s what he’s doing. He blinks at Shiro, then at the table he’s just carefully set. Shiro watches his lashes cast even darker shadows under his eyes. “Oh...I always make breakfast before a mission?”

“I wasn’t aware we had a mission,” Shiro says, taking the plate out of Hunk’s fingers and setting it on the table.

“I finished the tech. We have to go and install it now.”

Shiro finishes setting the table as Hunk takes the pancakes off of the weird Altean hob. He’s being difficult - of course Hunk would want to install the tech he stayed up for three days to complete, but Shiro can’t help but wish he would take a little nap first.

“Don’t you think you should rest up first?”

“I’m fine, Shiro, honestly,” Hunk says, sounding exasperated. “This isn’t as bad as when we were being chased across the universe by Zarkon, and none of us got a chance to rest then.”

That’s true. But they hadn’t had a choice then, and Shiro had been just as tired.

“Hunk-“

They’re interrupted by the arrival of Lance. He pauses in the doorway, blinking at both Shiro and Hunk as if he’s surprised to see them there.

“Sweet!” He gets over the surprise pretty quickly, sliding into the room and sitting himself in one of the chairs without another glance their way. “You made pancakes.”

“Morning Lance,” Hunk says, sounding relieved at the change in conversation. He starts carefully portioning pancakes onto each of their plates as Shiro takes his own seat.

“Morning. Is something going on? I thought you were working on that shield tech thing.”

“I finished it,” Hunk replies.

Lance looks up at that, crows, “That’s awesome!” Then his smile fades as his gaze flickers over Hunk’s face. “No offence but you look awful, man. Did you stay up all night?”

Hunk’s shoulders don’t hunch, but there’s definitely something defensive about the twist of his mouth.

“I’m fine,” he says, tightly.

The others filter in pretty quickly after that.

“Hunk,” Pidge says, once she’s licked the last of the syrup off her plate. “We should work on that shield if you’re free. We don’t know how-“

“He’s finished it,” Lance interrupts.

“Oh.” Pidge’s eyes slide over Hunk, assessing. She opens her mouth, but Hunk shoots her a look that’s eerily reminiscent of the one he had given Shiro last night and her mouth snaps shut with a soft click, clearly thinking better of it.

“We’re going to install it after breakfast.”

Pidge’s eyes slide to Shiro this time. He nods. There’s no reason to delay the mission, not when he knows that Hunk wouldn’t be spending the time sleeping anyway.

“Suit up,” he says, and tries not to sound annoyed about it. “Meet at the bridge in ten.”

***

Connecting the new part to the rest of the shield tech goes, surprisingly, according to plan. It takes less time than Shiro would expect for Hunk and Pidge to wire the machinery together. Moving in quiet tandem. If Hunk is struggling, it’s impossible to tell. Finally, he slots the last section of wires together and Pidge sits back on her heels with a triumphant grin, and Shiro allows himself to think that maybe the mission will pass without incident. That maybe they’ll get back to the castle with the same ease and Hunk will get to take a nice long nap and maybe Shiro will let him off morning training so that he can sleep in.

Shiro should know better than to tempt fate like that.

The trip back to the lions is uneventful. Now that the tech is in place, Hunk seems to have deflated even further. He’s leaning heavily on Lance as they walk. But he is walking and they’re so close to the lions now. Shiro corrals some of the grateful Cilluans out of the way and hustles the Paladins forward as quickly as he can - he’s legitimately concerned that Hunk might get caught up offering to cook a celebratory feast, or give a speech, or something, if they stop to chat.

They make it back to the lions without anyone press-ganging Hunk into further service, thankfully. But that’s as far as they make it. There’s a rumble, shaking the ground beneath them. For a moment, Shiro thinks that the flare has taken them by surprise, that the shield has failed and they’re all about to be destroyed. It would have a certain irony to it. But it isn’t a solar flare shaking the earth.

“Is that a robeast?” Pidge asks, voice tight.

“It is.”

It’s big, with a strange, flat head, and armour that shines bright in the too-close sunlight. Shiro can see all of the lions, lined up like targets, reflecting back at him from its wide chest. He has to bite back a sigh.

“OK team, lets deal with this quickly. Form Voltron.”

As soon as the lions are joined, Shiro realises the mistake he had made, letting Hunk join them on this mission without forcing him to get some rest. Piloting the lions is a strain, Voltron even more so, and Shiro can feel the energy draining out of Hunk as he struggles to hold himself in place. It tugs at Shiro in a way he doesn’t particularly like. It’s enough of a strain to force Voltron together when he only has his own exhaustion to deal with.

The others can obviously feel it too. “Jesus, Hunk,” Keith hisses through gritted teeth. “Have you slept at all in the last week?”

“Let’s just get this done,” Shiro interrupts, before it can turn into an argument. They don’t need to waste any more energy not fighting the thing.

It’s not a particularly difficult battle, but Shiro can feel Hunk’s exhaustion dragging at him with every movement. Can feel the weight of it in his head and his stomach like an anchor. It’s nauseating, and he has to force himself to clench his teeth and focus. He can only imagine how it must feel to Hunk.

But they manage to pummel the robeast into submission. They’re working together so much better now. One good blast with the cannon should finish it off.

“Hunk, shoulder cannon!”

As soon as Shiro gives the order, he wishes he could take it back. If Hunk is struggling just to manoeuvre as part of Voltron, he’s hardly going to have the energy to summon a proper blast. But it’s too late. The shoulder cannon materialises and takes aim. Shiro can feel Hunk dragging the last of his energy into the shot.

The robeast shatters with a deafening explosion of splintered glass. Voltron shatters too, twisting apart at the seams, untethered. For a moment Shiro just floats, stunned. The sudden release - the lack of anyone’s exhaustion but his own - leaves him light headed, spinning.

“Hunk?”

“What happened? Was he hit?”

“Hunk!”

The Yellow Lion is lying, unresponsive, a little way away. It looks as exhausted as Hunk had felt - as if all of its energy had been drained along with its pilot’s. There’s no response on the comms.

Shiro comes back to himself with a jolt. “Keith. Help me carry him - we need to get back to the castle.”

It’s awkward - the Yellow Lion is big and unwieldy in Black’s claws - but they make it to the castle and set Yellow down gently in the hangar. When Shiro clambers through Yellow’s half-open mouth, Hunk is, surprisingly, awake in the pilot’s seat, head lolling against his shoulders, heavy-lidded eyes watching Shiro approach through the darkness.

“Hunk?” Shiro asks, quietly. It feels wrong to speak louder than a whisper. “Are you OK?”

Hunk’s head rolls loosely on his shoulders. In the dim light his eyes gleam, white against the dark smudges underneath them. Shiro steps closer to him, hears Lance and Pidge and Keith clatter up the ramp behind him. Feels Lance’s hand on his shoulder as the Blue Paladin strains to see past him.

“Hunk?” Lance’s voice is too loud, too worried, but Hunk doesn’t seem to notice. There’s a flicker of his eyelids, a twitch of his head, but otherwise he barely seems to notice they’re there at all.

“He’s fine,” Shiro says, even though he’s not actually sure if Hunk is. “He just needs to get some rest. Help me get him inside.”

He turns back to Hunk. The Yellow Paladin’s eyes are closed now, chin drooping against his chest. Shiro doesn’t want to wake him up, but he can’t let him sleep here - needs to make sure that Hunk is only tired, not hurt.

He shakes Hunk’s shoulder, gently, and watches as his eyes flutter open, roaming around the cabin before settling on Shiro.

“Hey.” Hunk manages a smile, returning the one Shiro had offered him. “We’re going to get you up Hunk, then you can sleep in a real bed.”

Hunk just hums agreeably, eyelids fluttering again, as if they want to slide shut. He doesn’t protest when Shiro lifts his arm, slipping underneath it and shifting him upright enough for Lance to take his other side. It’s easy enough to lift him to his feet, even though Hunk doesn’t do much to help them out. Shiro could carry him alone if he had to.

“‘M sorry,” Hunk slurs, right in Shiro’s ear. Shiro’s heart clenches - even if he doesn’t agree with Hunk hurting himself like this, he was doing it to help people. The apology leaves a strange sour taste in Shiro’s mouth.

“You don’t need to apologise Hunk. You worked hard to save those people, and it paid off.”

“Yeah,” Lance agrees from Hunk’s other side. “And you finished off that robeast and everything.”

Shiro doesn’t bother taking Hunk down to the medbay: he knows he isn’t injured - not exactly. It’ll be much more comfortable for Hunk to sleep in his own bed.

Lance helps him strip Hunk of his armour, leaving him in the undersuit. It isn’t pyjamas, but it will be considerably more comfortable. Then they settle him in the bed.

Hunk blinks sleepily up at them, cocooned in blankets and looking cozy enough that Shiro feels his own tiredness itching behind his eyes.

“Get some rest Hunk.” He strokes a hand over Hunk’s head, feeling strangely protective. “We’ll see you in the morning.

#badthingshappenbingo #prompt: worked themselves to exhaustion #hunk #shiro #lance #keith #pidge #fanfiction #my writing

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sarahcamerons · 7 years ago

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the ultimate harley talks about kid gorgeous post

this is very long and i am very sorry.

the fucking essay is under the cut.

January 26th, 2018

I woke up at like 8am because I couldn’t sleep for shit because I was so excited (I wasn’t supposed to leave for my friends house until 2pm). Somehow I waste the day until like 12:30 when I know I should start getting ready because it takes me like two hours to do acceptable makeup (this day was the best my makeup has ever looked wow insert pics here).

I get to my friends (stasi’s) house at like 1:45pm and of course she isn’t done getting ready. We were supposed to leave at like 2 so we could go pick up my last check from work (fuck that place) and of course we had to go get gas and drive 20 minutes to my work. When we got there obviously my fucking boss had to do the whole ‘can we have a talk?’ bullshit like you took me off the schedule for two weeks with no reason yeah no shit we’re “parting ways” sorry I didn’t wanna drive when half my road was covered in ice and snow? Anyway, we get my check and we leave and head to Durham to the movie theatre to catch the showing of The Greatest Showman that we’re supposed to see. We get there like two minutes after the time the showtime was which was actually perfect. The movie was just as good as the first three times, obviously.

Once we leave the theatre it’s like 7:30pm or so and we still have to go to the Apple store and fulfill our plans of getting Cheesecake Factory. We start to leave to go to Crabtree—the big mall in Raleigh—only to realize there’s an Apple store at the shopping center where we were. So we park again and walk the five million miles to the store so I can fulfill another dream—this one being to get a MacBook, thanks graphics scholarship! So after like 35 minutes of playing with an iPhone X—which I’m dying to own (I’m looking at you again next year scholarship)—someone finally comes to help us. After another like 20 minutes, we’re leaving the store with my new MacBook—which I’ve named John in honor of the day I got it—in hand and heading to Cheesecake Factory. By this point it’s like 8:20pm and the wait was 30+ minutes. We waste like ten minutes walking around looking for somewhere else to eat and then walking back to return the beeper to Cheesecake Factory after deciding to eat at California Pizza Kitchen. We split a tiny pizza (I only eat one slice because I honestly feel like if I ingested any more grease I’d be ill) and leave. By this point it’s like 9:20, mind you, doors open at like 9:00/9:30. We finally find our god forsaken car and start driving to DPAC.

We get to DPAC at literally 9:40–show starts at 10:00. We still had to park and shit, okay? So we fucking park and we don’t have the cash to pay for parking on us at the time that we get to the dude so he’s like ‘yeah just go park and come back and pay’ so we’re like cool. Finding a fucking parking space takes like 5 minutes, then we leave through the wrong fucking door and come out the back of the parking garage. So, we had to walk all the way around to pay (I guess we could’ve gotten out of it but thats shitty). So, we FINALLY fucking pay and get to DPAC. Luckily for us, we were pretty late to the party so we didn’t have to wait in a long line for bag checks so we went right on through the bag check and ticket scan shit and we were in. We climb the giant fucking staircase to the second level of the theatre (where orchestra seats are located). We buy merch (i spent $40 on shirts don’t ask me why...no comeback kid vinyl for me on this night rip) and hurry to our seats. We both realize a little too late that we have to pee, and have had to pee since pizza but we don’t wanna get up in case there wasn’t an opener for some reason idk. But Max comes out and we run to the bathroom (thankfully we could hear the part of his set we were missing from the bathroom speakers, he was hilarious, 10/10 recommend). We get back to our seats and listen to Max tell some jokes about masturbating and then it was showtime.

So, before the show even started, the first thing I noticed was that when John came over the speakers to introduce Max it didn’t even sound like John—like it sounded like someone trying to be John, it was weird.

When John walked on stage the whole fucking theatre shook with everyone screaming (I have video but my voice is annoying so I won’t post it) it was the best feeling in the world. He made it a point to wave at every fucking section even the really far back ones (shout-out to my seats from dan and phil tour).

No spoilers, but, the show was fucking hilarious. I distinctly remember feeling like I was gonna pass out from lack of air flow to my brain.

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this somewhere on my blog before but he told jokes about the city being haunted and he said that sometimes he’d be walking around and it would get really cold all of a sudden and he would be like “oh! i wonder who that used to be?”

I’ve also talked about this on my blog before but, he stopped about midway through the show to talk to a little girl in the front row. He transitioned into this by saying, and I quote: “I-I’m sorry but are you-are you a child?” He proceeded to talk to this little adorable child for like five or six minutes. (I think she was thirteen and she wants to be President someday—this obviously got a reaction from John, he looked around at everyone else, chuckled, said some kind of encouragement, and moved on with the show)

I honestly barely remember anything from the show due to my utter lack of sleep.

After the show we found the stage door (because I didn’t come to fucking play I was gonna meet myself a comedian okay) and we waited in the cold ass air for like fifteen-ish? minutes before John’s tour manager came out and informed the security guard that he had already left he building (guess I won’t be meeting myself a comedian after all). If there’s one thing I’ll never forget it’s the feelings I experienced when the security got our attention (I was sure he was gonna be like ‘okay little shits, John is coming outside, we’re gonna be nice and orderly etc, etc.) but he informed us that “the lovely young woman” that just went back inside was Johns tour manager and she informed him that John was no longer in the building and wouldn’t be meeting people. Honestly? Never felt more defeated in my whole ass life. (I know, I’ll meet him someday..right?...).

The ride home was literally so long. I think we got home at 2am so I had a full twelve hour day packed with activity, no wonder i don’t remember anything. I do distinctly remember changing into my what’s new pussycat shirt in the middle of the interstate fully flashing several people I’m sure. I also remember being in this weird state of like ecstatic (from seeing John), absolutely fucking wrecked (from lack of sleep), and also sad (from not meeting John—which thinking back on it now isn’t as big a deal as 12am me made it out to be) and I remember trying to force myself to stay awake and putting on Spotify and playing John’s comedy albums (I just walked into the door whilst typing this kill me) and just riding home in silence with my friend just laughing occasionally when we found the energy.

All in all, best fucking night of my life and I can’t wait to see John live again (hopefully) soon.

Sorry this is like a fucking essay and that literally all of it was just about the time spent before the show. I literally remember nothing.

#harley talks about kg #shut up harley #long post //

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dlroleplay · 7 years ago

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Just one big post of replies to all of the messages you all sent me! ❤ aka just me saying thank you 700 times!!

also I just fixed this so it didn’t look weird on mobile because um oops!! i hope the format still isn’t weird sorry lol

Anonymous said: (Ca) Do what you want and when you want. We're not gonna starve here😂💙

I know!! but I just feel bad?? ? But I have been kinda,,,, gone for like the past two/three days, so idk?? I just don’t want to leave you guys for too long? Idk!! Thank you, though! ❤❤

Anonymous said: € one day，ai got mentally drunk（dont ask me why，they just happen once a year）. then they teleported to sakamaki and mukami （even tho they considered as enemy）and say they are cute/handsome/beautiful/loving（honestly，actual ai dont really thought of that…）and kiss them on their foreheads. they also did it to tsukinami，yui and Karlheinz. （karlheinz knew about this but its his worst memory about ai XD）at the end of day，they watching ants in the forest and awaked. XD，crazy，huh？！

omg haha I can imagine all of their reactions right now,, and it’s such a beautiful thing, lolol. Thanks for this,, it made me laugh!

Anonymous said: € （please dont feel stress or guilty about it. ( ̥́ ˍ ̀ू )）

I wish it was that easy! I mean try not to,, but I can’t help it! I love all of you guys alfajdlkjdskj But I’ll try!

Anonymous said: € （another fact：when ai was alive，they went to the same school as the boys and yui. they chose to go night school because less people go to night school than morning school. none of the boys recognize or notice or care about them because they are REALLY quiet. but sakamaki dont like them because they have karlheinz‘s smell on them and mukami were… just confuse…… but ai never talked to the boy until azusa…… good… memory…… why am i crying……）

JKSDakjfnjkd no!!!!! ! Why, , my heart!!!

kaidiyuu said: Bruhh my power was out for two days and I’m as cold as a goddamn ice cube; but anyways I hope you have a good day/evening/night mun💋

Oh,, yikes. I hope you’re okay!! Or at least not sick or something,, idk!! Thank you,, I hope you have a nice day as well! ❤❤

1000fandoms said: Hey, don’t push yourself, okay, honey? Take care of yourself ❤️

Thank you!! I’ve been trying to worry about myself first,, but you guys and this blog are constantly on my mind,, especially recently. But I’m doing a little better as of right now! Thank you ❤❤❤

Anonymous said: Don’t worry be happy!❤️

Aww,, that’s cute, lol. I’ll try?? Thank you, anon!

kaidiyuu said: That was me that asked you if you were alright (I feel like I’m being annoying 😅) but when you responded it made me die inside a little bit I want you to be happy y’know! Don’t be sad❤️ if your feeling down you can talk to me; I mean If you want. I just said it in anon because I don’t want to seem like I talk so much. (I do actually sorry) 😅❤️

You will never ever be annoying to me! I love hearing what people have to say to me,, and the fact that you even want to tell me something just means a lot! Again, thank you so much for that. Anon or not, I appreciate you, and everyone else here! Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Anonymous said: I mean you should go ahead and rant if that'll help! And it'd be nice to know whats going on

Uhhhhh?? ?? Well, I’ve still been debating on whether I should do that or not,, so it might be coming soon if I actually get the guts to do it?? I mean, it might help, but idk aflksjkljak My mind just keeps on changing it’s thoughts about posting one, and it probably help to have you guys get to know what’s been bothering me, but also idk?

Anonymous said: € （you dont need to say sorry，we just hope you are okay. ❤️ill pray for you.❤️）

Aww,, that’s so sweet adjkgadjlkn I actually just got tears in my eyes,, oops. Thank you, though! ❤❤

marsieparsie said: If you need to take a break, all of us will understand. We love and care about you and I’m sure none of us want you to be stressed ❤️

See,, the thing is, I don’t want to take a break for too long? Idk,, I worry about you all a lot, and the thought of it kinda hurts, lol. Thank you, I’m going to think about this for a little longer, and hopefully I’ll be back soon. This really means a lot to me ❤❤❤❤

Anonymous said: Hello Mun, I'm kinda worried about you and I hope you feel better, if you need to take a break it's okay, if you need to take a few days it's okay, we just want you to know that we support you and care about you, hope you feel better after this 💜 -B

Yeah,, I hope so too! I think this is my first time actually having a blog like this,, at least from what I can remember, anyways. And I just feel really bad,, and kinda embarrassed about being this dramatic,, idk. Thank you, though! Hopefully I’ll be back soon! ❤❤

Anonymous said: I’m glad you’re doing okay! Honestly, I wouldn’t mind getting my phone blown up by you. I love all your rps, and other asks! You’re doing an amazing job, sweetheart ❤️

I’m really glad you think so! Idk if I intended to answer this earlier,, but it’s kinda too late now, so obviously,, I did decide to go on with answering all of the asks. But thank you, I really appreciate this!

Anonymous said: € （hon，i really hope you get enough rest (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) ）

Well,, I’d say I do get enough,, but honestly I don’t think so?? My sleep schedule is pretty,, um,,,,, off? I should probably try to get more sleep, but I never really try and it’s just kinda a mess idkdaksdk I don’t even try, either so I’m not going to complain, I guess?

#honestly i just repeat myself 2 million times but i tried not to lol #i really never know what to say in general #but these make me so happy and i have no clue how to express that?? i guess?? i don't even know what i'm trying to say now #but basically i really appreciate and love all of you! and even though i don't think it seems like i do #i hope you guys know that #because i really do!#replies

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justalittlemango · 5 years ago

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Entry #16 - 21/01/2020

Well, it’s safe to say returning back to Cheltenham and the whole dorm life has been fairly bittersweet! I guess I adapted very well when I was back home (and I mean, who wouldn’t when you are blessed enough to not worry about money for that period, and great parents who are willing to help you out as much as possible!) It was quite sad on the final day of coming back here with my dad dropping me off, but at the same time it feels quite nice. Nice to have my privacy back, my own bathroom schedule and be able to use my gaming PC again!

It’s currently 6am as I write this, sadly my sleep got interrupted by a phone notification, turns out a friend was spamming me on Steam so now I am awake. The power of the internet right there folks, being able to wake someone up from thousands of miles away. However, I am not too fussed. My semester starts again today, and my lecture is at 11:15 so it’s not all too bad.

Initially I was kind of freaking out, predominantly due to the fact that my first lecture this week involves group-based work... and I guess I’m not really satisfied with the input that I had put in before Xmas for the group, but oh well. I am hopefully willing to change that with this next lecture coming up.

I want to try and get some organisation into the group. Sort out roles for each group member so we know what we’re doing and contribute more ideas together. I think before Xmas I was just so drained, tired and stressed with all the other assignments that my mind just went completely blank. However, it’s a new year now, new semester and that means I gotta be back on my A game.

So I’m feeling relatively optimistic about that, albeit nervous.. but hey, I’m still here and I’ve managed to get through all this shit before in my life, there’s hardly anything stopping me, other than how negatively my mind perceives me. In all fairness, my mood has been quite good ever since Christmas and my last post. I’m hoping it stays that way! I’m satisfied with the long break I had, and now it’s time to work hard again. This project should be fun anyways.

I don’t imagine this project/assignment will be too time-consuming regardless.. we’ve got 4 months to do it and we’ve got a very very basic concept that runs... I guess we just need to keep adding stuff to it over the next 4 months and see how far we get into it. Least that gives me hopes about time-keeping for the other assignments I’m starting this semester which I’m sure will be just as stressy as the ones I’ve just done :^)

Talking of assignments, my creative skills assignment got graded, the one which heavily involves Photoshop, Illustrator and all that graphic design stuff. I got 68, which was 2 marks off the top criteria.. So I’m happy with that! Considering a pass grade is 40, an extra 28 marks on top of that I’m chuffed with. So that’s kept me very positive recently that my work isn’t utter crap!

I am sorta worried for my other two assignments that are yet to be graded. One assignment which is the creating a game in Unity that I had to request an extension for, I feel like I’m going to get a low grade or not pass at all... trying to write the code myself was so difficult so uh, some sort of it was uh, “referenced” from online, i guess. My 3D modelling assignment I’m also sorta worrying about as I rushed it towards Christmas as I requested an extension for that too. Oh well, I’m going to try not to let it play on my mind...

On a more positive note, I decided to get this student housing thing sorted once and for all. I can’t afford to go back into student halls, and I’ma be real with you, but the flatmates you get can be obnoxious as fuck. Not saying that my current flatmates are like that, but uh, we just live and let live and we don’t really speak to each other. But they like to hog the kitchen a lot, and that annoys me. So I don’t really want to put up with that again next year.

I organised a Discord group thingy between my bf and a friend from the course, so we could get a 3 bed house that’s close to the campus. Thing is, this student house is ideal for me because the rent is so cheap compared to student halls. So if I can get this student house, I’d be able to keep and spend so much more than I get right now. Lets put it this way, in student halls at the moment, I only get £300 to spend across the 3 months. If I was in a student house, on average I’d have just over £1k to save/spend over the 3 months. Yum fucking yum!!! So I really hope to fuc that we can get a place sorted!

I ain’t really got no fear of anything going wrong tbh... we still got quite a bit of time, and there’s still some good choices going around in the area near the university- which is convenient as currently where we stay it is an hour walk to campus, and yeah.... not worth it. I might also mention it to a few friends on the course if they want to also come live with us, but it looks like everyone is sorted... so I think it’s best that we just find a place, inquire, see if we’re happy and then slap the deposit on it.

Conveniently, my dad just got his redundancy money from work and has offered to pay my deposit for me which is a MAJOR help, otherwise I simply would not be able to afford it and live at the same time. So I feel very blessed knowing this. Of course, once we get to the house I am not going to blast any of the money, in fact I might just spend it how I do now, very minimally. Reason being? Overdraft. I gotta get out my overdraft. My bank has started to change the limit of how much is fee-free, and at the moment I can take out up to £2000 and it’s fee-free, but at the end of this year it’s going down to £1500, then the year after it’s £1000, year after is £500 and then so on.

So realistically, it is absolutely in my best interests to go for a student house. I need that money. I have also been looking at costs about doing an internship in Canada, and yes, it is fairly expensive once you count the application fees, flight fees and the fact that the Canadian government want you to prove that you have 2400CAD in your bank to prove that you can sustain yourself in Canada.

I have been looking at the invitation pools for UK residents to take the working holiday visa scheme in Canada, and right now it seems 3k people have signed up, and there’s 6k slots... so... that’s filled some hope in me! I just really hope I get a place!! It is absolutely my dream to work in Canada for the year. I just gotta be on top of my game on December 2020... as I believe that’s when the pools next open. I just hope they don’t mind being there for only a year when the visa grants you two years! But uh, they don’t need to know that hehe... or maybe they do. lol idk.

But yes, a student house is needed in order for all this to be accomplished. I know for a fact I would be more comfortable staying with my bf and a coursemate rather than more random people that I have to awkwardly say hi to when I want to grab my noodles from the kitchen. But yes, I’m estimating that over the second year, I’ll have about £800 or so to spend. That’s amazing. And I want to invest £500 into my overdraft so I can go down to the fee-free amount (£1500), and then do the same for the next instalment so I can go down to £1000, and then save whatever is left from the final instalment to try and sustain myself for if & when I go to Canada. They ask for 2400CAD in your bank, and that’s £1400... I guess as long as I have that in my bank they’ll accept me, and then once I get in I can focus on paying that overdraft off.

I’ve heard internships in Canada pay minimum wage, so if I have extra money in the month that I don’t necessarily need, I’ll send it to my UK bank account and help me get out of that overdraft, as when/if i’m in Canada, the fee-free amount will reduce to £500 or so, therefore I need to get that paid off. I don’t think it should be too difficult, but I’m super relying on these things working out, and lets be real, there’s a very high chance of all this not working out. Though, I won’t allow myself to. I will find a student house. I will save the money I get when I’m at said student house. I will pay my overdraft bit by bit. I will try to save up 2400CAD so I can get accepted into Canada, but the most important part: I will try my best to entice Canadian game studios to accept me..

That last part, that’s going to be tricky I think... I hope I am good enough that they will accept me as their intern. I don’t know really. I still don’t know where I wanna go , but anywhere in Canada I’m happy with: particularly if it’s Toronto or Montreal. Hell, I have still been learning French for just in case I do get a place in Montreal. They speak French there? well heck, so will I with all this time I got to do it. Plus, I’ve been wanting to learn French for a while, but just needed a sort of kick up the butt to say “ok, here’s why you should ACTUALLY do it!” and yea :3

That being said , I would also be happy if I got accepted at a studio in Vancouver.. a bit far and very much behind time-wise from the UK, but hey it’s only for the year, I may as well live it up aye? Of course, I am still banking on myself to get accepted into the pools and be invited by the Canadian gov, then consult jobs/studios all over Canada with my work and stuff, then save up the money to get into Canada, all simultaneously while trying to find a roommate in whichever city I get to (however, this seems like a rather simple one as I’ve already seen many apps that can help find roommates and offers seem to come & go A LOT.)

A roommate would definitely be ideal for me, as it would help split the rent. If I’m going to stay in a city like Vancouver or Toronto, it isn’t really possible for me to sustain myself on minimum wage in these cities. So a roommate is ideal. Besides, I need friends when I get there anyway! lol

I wonder if I’ll look back at this post in a few years and think... “Wow Kurt, you thought it was that easy?” - part of me thinks this goal is far-fetched, another part of me sees it as perfectly accomplishable with the correct amount of time, planning and finances. So really... I don’t know. I would say at the moment, probability is low in the likeliness of me getting in, because my work is still a bit.. questionable, as I am still a fresher after all. So I gotta rely on producing really good work that catches the eyes of employers, host a website with my portfolio on it and send it to just as many Canadian studios as I can and then hope for the best. I just really want this goal, it’s an even more motivating goal than thinking of graduation, honestly!

Welp. I posted a lot on this one, but everything I said here is 100% the things that run through my mind a lot of the nights. I am going to stay optimistic, I’m going to work to the best of my ability and make my creations look appealing, I am going to get that student house so I can be happy financially and secure myself & my goals. Til next time

~mangie

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