fucknobadtf2fanfiction
Fuck No, Bad Team Fortress 2 Fanfiction.
879 posts
Ah, Team Fortress 2. An innovative, violent, and free team-based romp with an entire world of interesting concepts and canon that's left to the fan's imagination. Of course, this isn't always a good thing. That's where this blog comes in, to catalog and provide critique on some of the less-than-amazing fanfiction that fans have created. If you would like a fanfiction removed, please ask for me to do so politely. Rude and fannyfrustrated messages will be met with snide comments. The header image is by K.G. Bigelow, who can be found here on tumblr under ya-iz-kgb(.tumblr.com) (Quick Disclaimer: It's kind of a futile effort, but I leave the names of the authors of these stories out for a reason. The goal of this blog is to provide both critique and entertainment, not to bully the writers. I do not encourage or approve of anyone seeking out and being dicks to writers featured on this blog) CURRENT SERIES: Mod M: The Sniper Who Found a Home Life of Py-ro The Newest Recruit Princess of the Fortress Mod E: The Scout Siblings Mod Noodle: TF2 x Child!Reader
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 3 years ago
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I'm really hoping this shitshack blog is abandoned. "Fuck no" blogs were the worst thing this site ever created. Horrifically mocking someone because they made something you don't like makes you a disgusting child. I hope all the mods of this blog grew the fuck up and learned to mind their own god damn business, especially after getting innocent people fucking stalked.
I ran this when I was about 15/16, as a bored highschool student with nothing better to do with my time. Bad? Yes. Doesn't excuse any of it. I do apologize to anybody this blog has hurt in the past. I have grown up and matured, and realized I should be focusing on myself instead of bullying others.
-Mod M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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Hey! I was looking for the new version of "The Witch", did you take it off or something? I can't seem to find it.
I haven't removed anything in the past few years that I remember? Maybe the author asked me to remove it awhile ago. I don't know, sorry!
-m
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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You guys bring me light. I hope the mods are still in contact and/or are friends cause you're so great and deserve it
I'm sorry to disappoint but every single mod has left the blog except me. I still keep it up for memories and just in case I want to revisit :')
All the other mods know where to contact me if they wish to ever still talk.
-M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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I love your blog! Like seriously, hilarious reviews! I actually learn from some eventhough it wasn't my (horrible) ones. I don't care if you're active nor inactive in the fandom but, it's actually quite amusing that even with the warnings up people still bite your ass :') but still love everything.
I'm in the fandom under my main blog! I'm glad to those that still read back and find amusement
-M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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I'm guessing you like Superjail given the great amount of reaction images. Do you like any other adult swim show too? (My money's on ATHF)
Nope. I don't actually watch any adult swim, sorry! It just produces good images
-M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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In all honesty, do you still enjoy tf2? Like, maybe not the game but the characters and that.
Yeah. I play the game every day still, and I enjoy the comics. I have thought about rewriting tf2 fanfiction myself but I can't ever bring myself to start writing. As for reading, I stopped reading ff about 3 years ago.
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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i dont care what people think im still pretty excited about tf2 and the next comic
What are some people upset abt something with the tf2 comics?? -mod m
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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I've meaning to point out something... Pyro isn't dumb. Yes, he is childish, and insane, but he pretty much knows how to do his job and doesn't take any shit. Remember the Meat and Match comic when Heavy tried to give him a lighter and play dumb with Pyro? Well, he broke it afterwards. Cause he takes no shit.
^-mod m
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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You did good, son. Real good. Maybe even the best.
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 6 years ago
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Guys. You're my favorite blog. I love you so much. I don't care if you're active or not, but never delete this blog. I laugh my ass of everytime I read your reviews. My personal favorite was the Meet the Girl, with the mod's disturbing commentary. Anyways, good luck with everything!
i don’t think i’ll ever continue the blog but i’m glad people still get enjoyment out of it. ;)
-mod m
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 7 years ago
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HOLY shite hi. So, I was the person who wrote the Meet the Apprentice thing. I wasn't expecting the story to be reviewed! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for pointing out those things (I can't believe I misspelled labeled!) I'm trying not to make Scout dumb. I'm in the process of writing chapter three, where Apprentice interacts with Spy, Medic, and Demo (who surprisingly isn't dead drunk! Seems to be a FF trope, don't it?) The characters can be hard to write. Glad to know it's good tho! :)
haha its ok i misspell some stupid things ALL the time.
see luckily the way you’re writing scout isn't pointing to full on stupid, i just think a lot of people don’t realize that scout might not be smart in academics sake but street smart. this being said I have a headcanon that scout is really good at math...
need any help writing any characters or want me to review any further chapters, feel free to pm off anon and we can talk on private if thats what you want
thanks for submitting 
can't believe people still remember us
-mod m
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 7 years ago
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Meet the Apprentice chapters 1 - 2 (request)
As it happens, sometimes I get a random request from someone and if I have the time I'd be more than happy to help. Keep in mind for those who like pictures, I won’t be using reaction images because the hard drive with the hundreds of images has been lost.
Keep in mind not a revival but a small visit from the aunt everyone hates, nice to be back for even a moment. This is a reboot to a story someone submitted to me.
-mod m
Meet the Apprentice
Summary:
As the engine’s roar died, the driver’s door swung open and a woman stepped out. She raised one of her hands to shield her face from the sun, squinting up at the building. She shouldered a brown leather backpack and self-consciously straightened her pleated yellow dress. Taking a deep breath, she started across the parking lot towards the entrance, shifting the bridge of her glasses as she went.
(I'm bad at summaries and I don't want to spoil stuff but also I'm still working out the plot so I'm basically making this up as I go sorry!
It's kind of good that much I can tell you.)
     Have confidence in yourself! People want to read a story with confidence, there’s no reason to apologize or let the audience know you’re just as clueless
Thank you for reading, feedback is appreciated, and if you have any questions, ask away! Have a good day! :)
Chapter 1
The sun sat high in the sky of New Mexico, glaring down on the drab orange landscape and forming shimmering heat waves on the dusty ground. Among the desert scene sat a large facility, a light gray building that had large air conditioners running all along its roof. Around it was a tall chain link fence that had large KEEP OUT signs bolted to it at intervals. As if the locals didn’t know enough to stay away.
The only openings in the fence were two narrow gaps, one along each short end of the rectangular compound, wide enough for your average pickup truck to fit through.  Through each gap was a parking lot, and a metal sliding door entrance to the building. A multi-colored line ran horizontally along the outer walls, half of it red, the other blue. On the blue half, a slightly rusting 1959 Pontiac Bonneville made its way into the lot, pulling into one of the lopsided parking spaces. As the engine’s roar died, the driver’s door swung open and a woman stepped out. She raised one of her hands to shield her face from the sun, squinting up at the building. She shouldered a brown leather backpack and self-consciously straightened her pleated yellow dress. Taking a deep breath, she started across the parking lot towards the entrance, shifting the bridge of her glasses as she went.
      A dress for battle maybe not so but a dress for heat and a simple outfit for simply arriving makes sense. ( pls don’t have her fight in a dress author I have high hopes )
Dust swirled around her ankles, and a warm breeze toyed with her pigtails as she walked up to the metal sliding door. Raising one pale, calloused hand, palm reddened by the heat, she knocked; a reverberating clang cut through the tranquil desert. As she waited for someone to answer, she examined the logo on the door. The door itself was painted blue, gray peeking out where the paint had peeled off the corrugated metal. A large white wrench had been stylistically painted on it, the lower half of the tool made up of the acronym “BLU”. The top half of a bolt was held between the teeth of the wrench, and in the middle of the bolt was a yellow and blue globe. Beneath all of this, in block letters, were the words “BUILDERS LEAGUE UNITED”.
Humming to herself, she wondered what she’d look like in an all blue uniform.
Suddenly, the door began to slide upwards, making a rattling noise that she could only associate with ball bearings, and she shook herself from her thoughts. In the doorway, illuminated by bright fluorescent lights, was a short, stocky man wearing overalls and a yellow hard hat. Around his neck was a pair of what appeared to be some form of welding goggles. His brown eyes were small and deeply set, and the skin around them was rather paler than the rest of his face, but nonetheless they shone brightly and had a warmth to them. The man that the kind eyes belonged to smiled at her brightly.
To be fair engineer's eyes are blue but that’s hardly something to get upset about
“Well, howdy there. My name is…well, we ain’t supposed to share our birth names, just our class names and any nicknames that come besides, but for simplicity’s sake let’s just call ‘em our names. Might as well be, I reckon, since we been using ‘em for so long. But as I was sayin’, th’name’s Engineer. If that’s too long for your fancy, you can call me Engie.”
     it’s a thick accent but acceptable. It’s readable. Kudos
The woman nodded; she’d been informed of the “no-names” rule when she had been registered by Miss Pauling. The secretary had claimed that it was for “security’s” sake, but she assumed it was to stifle as many bonding opportunities as possible.
The man had extended a hand, so she shook it. His grip was firm
“My name is Sa-…sorry, I mean, Apprentice.” She replied sheepishly.
Engie just grinned at her. “That’s alright, it takes a bit to get used to it. Now come on in, it’s just about suppertime. Normally th’whole team don’t all sit in the rec room to eat, but since we’ve got a new recruit Miss Pauling had... suggested we use the time to get introduced, to save time later.”
Read: threatened. For some of them, at least.
But Apprentice nodded as she was led into the building. She sighed as a blast of cool air hit her. Engie led her down a long, gray hallway. There were doors leading off of it, all marked with signs. One read “BUNKS”, and a few others, “BATHROOMS”. Another large sliding door sat on the right, with a sign above it that read “RESPAWN”. She shuddered as she remembered the RESPAWN chip she still needed to have implanted.
       Respawn chips give me so many memories of years ago when everyone played around with respawn ideas….. Even I have a fanfiction out that focuses the start of the respawn and before….
Engie pointed at the RESPAWN door. “Through there’d be your ammo lockers n’such, and then there’s another door in there leadin’ to the battlements. We’ll go over this tomorrow when y’all’re given the tour. We get Sundays off, o’course, and when we move to the next compound we get the whole weekend to get settled.”
Apprentice nodded again. She wasn’t much of a talker. The same could not be said for Engie, however, who was talking quite a bit, and the more he talked, the thicker his Texan accent grew. Most of it was just bits of random trivia about the facility and offhand comments about its name (“Ya ain’t gonna wonder why it’s called ‘Turbine’ once ya see the battlements, that’s for sure!”) and the team (“Y’all might think I’M talking much, but you just wait’ll you meet Scout! That boy could outtalk a lil yappin’ dog, I’ll tell ya that”).
     Don't insult my baby!! He’s perf!!
He led her through a small kitchen (the sink was piled with dishes; covering the pile was a towel, and on it was a piece of paper, on it scrawled hasty note: Outta site, outta mind, Engie.)
The Texan snorted at this and muttered, “Darn it, Scout.”
He rolled his eyes at Apprentice. “That boy hates doin’ his share of the chores, ‘specially the dishes. And he can’t spell worth a darn, neither.”
       I was trying to defend scouts education level but the only thing I could find was the track terrorizer and it was when he snuck into a high school track team at 23 hahaha [x]
Apprentice smiled at that and followed Engie through the kitchen doorway, into a room that was the dining room and rec room, according to the sign above it. She frowned a bit when she saw the sign; was everything here labelled?
There were eight men sitting in various places around the rec room, absorbed in their own activities. None of them noticed her walking in. Engie leaned towards her.
“I’m gonna go get the grub, now go’n get yourself settled.” He headed back into the kitchen.
Apprentice took a deep breath and walked forwards. She hated meeting new people, and always felt that they were judging her, that they thought she was weird. But as she got closer, she realized that she was probably one of the most normal ones there. One of them, a light-skinned man in a baggy fireproof suit, sat on the floor, criss-cross style, in front of a couch. He was shifting back and forth, a deceptively childish grin on his face, as he clicked a lighter on and off. His eyes shone bright with the reflection of the flame, but there was a fire to them that definitely wasn’t a reflection. She decided to steer clear of him for now, and looked around for a safer person to sit near. Unfortunately, none of the other options seemed to be very good.
     I don’t like the whole showing pyro’s face thing, and if he had the mask on it would be impossible to see his eyes or skin. This is personal preference to me though, you do you, author.
On one of the three lumpy couches in the room sat a lanky man with thinning brown hair. A pair of yellow shooting glasses were pushed up onto his forehead, and he was sitting on far end of the couch closest to the wall. He was drinking coffee and reading Catch-22. He appeared calm, but the way his eyes were darting around the room and the way he seemed to be trying to collapse in on himself suggested that he wasn’t used to being around the rest of the team after matches.
     Catch 22 came out in 1961 so that puts this storyline closer to the gravel war. The setting is important folks, +1 point for doing your research author. [x]
A bottle flew past her head, drawing her attention to the far end of the room, towards the dining table. Two of her teammates were in, from what she could see, a fight over a…cupcake. One of the men was wearing an overly large army helmet, and the other was a scrawny young man with buckteeth. He had a bloody nose, and the army guy was screaming something about “cupcake communists”. Sitting at the table was a black man wearing an eyepatch, who was laughing at the two so hard that he was punching the table. Also sitting at the table, watching the fight in disgust, was a rather short, skinny man wearing a ski mask and a suit. He was smoking a cigarette daintily.
He looked over at Apprentice, appraising her for a moment, before sniffing and turning back towards the fight (the army guy now had the skinny one in a headlock, which Skinny was valiantly trying to escape).
She glared at him. What was his problem? Rolling her eyes, she moved to the couch in the middle of the room, closest to the television set. Two other men were sitting on it. One of them was wearing round spectacles and reading a thick encyclopedia, titled Gray’s Anatomy. A glance over his shoulder showed her pictures of organs, scientifically labelled. She wrinkled her nose. The spectacled man acknowledged her with a nod, then returned to his book. He turned the page and laughed at something. She scooted a bit farther away from him. The man farthest from her was tall and muscular, with beady blue eyes. He was knitting what appeared to be a pair of gloves. She sat awkwardly on the edge of the couch, waiting for Engie to come back. She raised her arm to check her watch. Five o’ clock, exactly.
this is just as awkward as you can get, man. 
A large hand tapped her elbow, and she turned in surprise to the large man at the end of the couch. He leaned across the man with the spectacles, who grimaced at him and leaned back.
“You are new recruit?” He asked. His Russian accent was prominent in those few words.
“Uh, yeah, I am. My name is Apprentice.” She awkwardly extended her hand. He shook it lightly.
“I am Heavy Weapons Guy. I have question for you: do you have woolen stockings?”
She scrunched up her face in confusion. “Umm…yes? It got pretty cold in Nebraska, so I have a couple of pairs. I brought ‘em just in case, but, uh, doesn’t seem like I’ll need ‘em.”
Heavy Weapons Guy simply shrugged. “It will get cold in the nights.”
Apprentice nodded slowly.
“Right, but, uh, wh-why did you want to know?” She tilted her head to the side, squinting at him.
“Wanted to know if Heavy would have to knit you some. I knit them for new people. Knitted them for Doktor”, he pointed to the man with the anatomy book, ”the little rabbit Scout,” he pointed to the boy fighting, who was still in the headlock and slowly turning blue, “and the Demoman.” he motioned to the man with the eyepatch. “But you do not need them, da?”
Apprentice twitched her shoulder. “Nah I guess not, huh?” She smiled at him.
“Pretty nice of ya, Heavy. I can call you that, right?”
Heavy nodded at her, and returned to his knitting.  The “Doktor” leaned forwards again. He flipped another page, revealing a very realistic drawing of a transparent human body, with all of the organs, nerves, and skeletal system visible. He turned to Apprentice and grinned in a manic way.
    see I hope there is more characterization to medic than just the body obsessed doctor jerk stereotype
“Zis is my favorite part!”
She stared at him for a second, then slowly nodded.
“That-that’s. Nice.”
He nodded his head feverishly, still grinning, still without blinking, then returned to the book. Just as she was wondering if she should maybe switch places, Engie came back into the room, holding a large cast-iron cooking pot. She stood up quickly and moved towards the table.
Finally.
    Marking the end of chapter 1. The ONLY issue is the cold attitude of the team seemingly ignoring her. Now, this is all our creative differences, I would think a team would be a bit more attentive.
    Still not a flaw, I'm finding no huge issues in the story of any canon characters or your own. ALSO, labeled is spelled like this <<
CHAPTER 2
As Apprentice walked towards the table, the scents of the meal began to waft towards her. Her stomach rumbled fiercely. Engie sat the tall pot onto an oven mitt sitting in the center of the table. He pulled a handkerchief from his overall pocket and wiped his hands, smiling. His face fell, however, when he noticed the cupcake on the table, and the two men fighting over it.
“Soldier! Scout! Quit roughhousin’! And Soldier, stop chokin’ that boy before ya send him to RESPAWN.” Engie barked. The two team members froze in their actions, Soldier dropping the Scout, who was gasping for breath. The Soldier saluted to Engie, crying, “YESSIR!” Engie just shook his head and headed towards the kitchen again.
“Ah’m goin’ to get the cornbread and corn. Demo, y’wanna help get the dishes?” The man with the eyepatch nodded, and stood up with a grunt and went with Engie towards the kitchen. Soldier dropped his hand from the salute position, then glanced at the cupcake that was still on the table. Scout, who was grumbling to himself as he stood up (“Coulda taken him, didn’t need Engie’s frigging help- “) noticed this, and jumped on the Soldier when he lunged for the pastry.
    it’s trivial to fight over a cupcake b ut the more I think about it, the more I think... yes.. this does fit their personalities...
“Oh, no you don’t!” Scout yelled. The Soldier once again began to yell back, and the two continued to brawl. They hit the table, almost spilling the chili. After around a minute of this, Apprentice had decided that she’d had enough. She was hungry, in an unfamiliar environment, and all this yelling was giving her a headache. She was not happy, so she retaliated.
Apprentice stalked forwards, closing the gap of around seven feet between herself and her teammates.
“HEY!” She yelled to disorient them. They turned to her, startled, and before either of them could react, she grabbed Scout by the ear and dragged him away from Soldier, pushing aside the army man as she did so.
“Knock it off.” She growled. Scout, knocked her hand away, rubbing his ear. Soldier, on the other hand, looked stunned, then grinned proudly at her.
Scout sneered at her. “Don’t tell me what ta do, you ain’t my ma. Back off!”
    Nothing like stopping little twink boy from fighting naked man
In all seriousness, this should mean our character has a fit physique, not being itty bitty tiny. Leme see those girls with muscles, author. It’s hard to be intimidating being small and tiny!  
She sneered back at him fiercely. “YOU back off, or I’ll break your back.” Ignoring the Scout’s wounded expression, she grabbed the cupcake from the table and held it up to the two men. “This is what you’re fighting over, right?” She asked. The Scout nodded, and the Soldier yelled, “Affirmative!” Apprentice winced. Didn’t the guy have an inside voice? But she nodded in a way that suggested that she had firmly made up her mind about something. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Engie and Demoman had returned, bearing more food and table settings.
“Well then. You guys can’t fight over something that’s not here, can you?”
Scout and Soldier looked confused. Demoman and Engie were now watching the interactions unfold, Engie with some mild trepidation, Demoman with a grin on his face. Cigarettes had been watching out of the corner of his eyes with interest the whole time, and Catch-22 had gotten up to move to the table, but stood awkwardly near the couch while the scene played out. Heavy and the “Doktor” were still sitting, but began to get up as they noticed the arrival of food.
Scout put his hands on his hips and snorted. “Whaddaya mean, not here? Ya holdin’ it right in front of my friggin’ fa- “
Apprentice stopped him mid-sentence by taking a big bite out of the cupcake, and then subsequently finishing it in two more. The Scout looked hilariously affronted, and Soldier’s jaw dropped. Scout sat heavily in his chair to sulk, but Soldier got right up in her face, yelling.
“HOW DARE YOU EAT THAT CUPCAKE! I AM AN AMERICAN, AND I WILL NOT HAVE MY RIGHT TO CUPCAKES TAKEN BY YOU CUPCAKE COMMUNISTS!”
   What I want to know is who baked said cupcakes . . .
   Is engie the wife of the team
Spit flew from his mouth, smudging her glasses. She whipped them off, standing on her tip toes to look him directly in the eye (or as much as she could, with how low his helmet was). Her green eyes were wide and dangerously bright as her face reddened with anger.
“How about you get out of my face, you sociopathic sergeant! I’m American too, AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EAT THAT CUPCAKE!” She yelled back. She wiped her glasses off on the hem of her dress, shoved them back on her face and continued to glare the man down.
The Soldier, however, responded in a way that took her by surprise. He grinned and saluted her, relaxing his muscles a bit so that he wasn’t standing as stiff as a board.
“Ma’am, you are a true American woman! I salute you! You take this attitude to those cupcake communists and kick it right up their asses!” He then proceeded to fall into a chair.
    more kudos for not making him a sexist bitch, author.
Apprentice lowered herself back onto the balls of her feet, anger being replaced with confusion. “Um…. thanks, I guess.”
    Gr8 first impression apprentice i mean you’re just great at them lol
She turned to Engie, who simply shrugged at her, chuckling. The rest of the team sat down at the table as Demoman finished passing around dishes, and she could see that they had all found the scene to be hilarious. The only one who didn’t appear visibly amused was Cigarettes, who reluctantly put out the one he was smoking when he caught Engie’s glare. There was still an empty seat, but no one else seemed to notice, so she kept quiet. Once they were all seated, Engie clapped his hands together.
“Alrighty then! Now, firstly we’re gonna- hang on, where’s Pyro?” Engie looked around the room, spying him over on the floor by one of the couches, still flicking the lighter.
    pyro being the team child isn’t my fav stereotype but i’ll take it
“Pyro,” he called, catching the attention of the man. “Suppertime.”
The Pyro grinned and jumped up, trotting to the table like a little kid. He took his seat and rested his chin on his hands, his elbows propped up on the edge of the table. He stared off into space, his eyes still open slightly more than normal.
“Now then,” Engie approved, nodding. “First, we’ve got some chili, cornbread, and corn on the cob. Ya don’t like it, don’t eat it, and you can go hungry till it’s your turn to cook. While y’all’re dishin’ yer food out, we’re gonna go ‘round the table clockwise and say our names, just so we all know ‘em. You can start.” He said, motioning towards Apprentice.
“Right. Yeah. Well, I’m Apprentice.”
The rest of the team scrambled for food (and so did she), and continued to divulge their class names.
“Scout, an’ I’m like da coolest- “
“Demoman, who thinks this boyo should quit kissin’ his own arse and let everyone go. An’ you can call me Demo, lass.” Apprentice decided that she liked him. He seemed fun, and had an interesting Scottish accent.
“I AM THE SOLDIER!"
“I am called ze Spy.” Said Cigarettes with a prominent French accent, raised eyebrows. He didn’t seem to be eating much.
“Medic!” She noticed he was still reading his book as he ate.
    All i can see is medic exclaiming without moving his facial expression. One hand shoveling food, eyes locked onto a book in the other, screaming medic but not raising any eyebrows
“…...m’theSniper.” A quiet but harsh voice mumbled, coming from the shy man. He sounded…. British? Australian? Australian, she decided. Even though he seemed uncomfortable in his surroundings, he still had a sharp edge to him, something that seemed to say, “I might be nervous but if any of you make fun of me I’ll rip your heart out.” Not an easy thing to convey simply through body language and milliseconds of eye contact, but he was doing an excellent job at it.
    sniper is so tsundere
    half expecting a b-baka! in there
“Engie, as you know.”
“Pyro!” The man’s voice was rough and deep-throated, but still enthusiastic and almost juvenile. He was making statues out of his cornbread with one hand and twirling his dreadlocks in the other.
“Apprentice already knows Heavy.”
She nodded, and continued with her food, taking in the environment. The rest of the team was either eating in silence, or involved in conversation. The Scout had decided to confront the Soldier about the cupcake, claiming that it was unfair because he was American, too. The Soldier, however, seemed to be mostly ignoring him, choosing instead to “converse” with Demo, in the loosest use of the word. They seemed to be mostly yelling nonsense and laughing. Engie was having a quiet conversation with the Sniper, and the Spy had somehow managed to steal the Sniper’s book, and was currently flipping through it.
“So, uh, I didn’t mean it about earlier, ya know?” The Scout said, grinning at her, revealing his buck teeth. She understood why Heavy had called him a rabbit.
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh?”
He leaned back in his chair, putting one of his arms on the headrest of her chair. “Nah, I was just messin’ around is all! You’re pretty cool, ya know? And dat thing with the cupcake was pretty hilarious, acksually.”
“Actually.” She quietly corrected him.
He tilted his head to the side. “Huh? OH! Yeah, I know, it’s my freakin’ accent, ya know? And den my teeth ain’t helping much, so I gotta kinda speech imped’ment, I guess. But dat’s cool thatchya caught that, you must be pretty smart, huh?”
    Giving scout a speech impediment is a pretty interesting thing. I don’t see many stories where scout actually has a speech impediment but I don’t like it when authors dumb down scout like he is a child.
    My only advice is don’t make him dumb as a sack of dirt? Scout’s position requires him to be fast and smart about his moves, and he was pretty street smart since he grew up with all of his brothers… I'm sure he didn’t pay much attention in school but the boy has some skills and is smart in other areas in life.
“Yeah, I guess.” She squinted at him. “Sorry to ask, but are you trying to…. flirt with me? Or what is this?”
The Scout removed his arm from her chair and exaggerated a wounded expression. “What, a dude can’t just talk to a girl, huh? Nah, I know, my ma says I come off too strong but mosta the girls I evah talked to were the ones I was looking to date so ya know, that’s just kinda how I am now. But nah, you’re cute, I guess, but I’m holdin’ out for Miss P to start recipercatin’ my, y’now, feelings for her. Cuz she’s a classy lady, and waitin’ for her to change her mind’ll totally impress her!”
Apprentice shook her head, smiling. “If you say so.”
This chapter kind of ended abruptly, I had to check the source to make sure I didn’t forget to copy all of it.
I’d day first chapter was fine and ended on good terms but the second makes me think that there was more to real- maybe go into it more and end off of a cliff hanger and not in the middle of a conversation.
You usually end a chapter in the middle of a convo when person A drops an info bomb or something crucial to the plot, but simple chit chat makes it seem like you stopped writing and simply published without looking back. Either way, the ending is FINE, just my opinion.
If you publish anymore you’ll have to ask me directly to keep going on with a review but for now, this is my opinion for both chapters. Lack of words and comments = I had nothing bad to say. I had to search for ways to butt in so there weren't walls of only the story.
I think you’re on a good track, make sure to not make Apprentice a dainty flower and super small, UNLESS her position and role needs her to be small and nimble. Remember you can always make characters, small and nimble, but with visible muscle. Hope you don’t have her uniform as a dress, keep her hair up out of her face, don’t have characters idly fall in love unless you give it several chapters of development.
I think she’s going in strong leaving with a touch first impression. She’s not meek and it seems she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty. Keep going with this and you’re set. If you need any character development help or brainstorming or etc, feel free to message me. I’m always here, I'll even hand over my personal on request.
Thanks for submitting, hope to hear back on your thoughts.
-Mod M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 8 years ago
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Who here loves the new overwatch update
-Mod M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 8 years ago
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So, uh... how bout that new comic? Scout was in it. And um... so was sniper. And spy was pretty cool. Heavy was awesome. Yeah... I won't say anymore except HOLY SHIT
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 8 years ago
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yo im a long time follower of this blog and these lame ass anons (who is probably just one or two people bugging you on this krystal persons behalf) dont get it that you guys are legit the most docile and all around rad kids this hellsite has to offer. anon binches when you guys are stirring up shit the only thing you'll get back is shit my dudes, so just stop my dudes my pals
thanks man
we’ve always tried to be ‘nice’ but ‘snarky’
-mod m
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 8 years ago
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Ugh same
-Mod Noodle
It's this blog that makes me glad the tf2 fandom is dying, and I love tf2. This blog and along with many other awful people has made this fandom the most unpleasant one I've had the displeasure of being in.
i dont even play tf2 anymore
xDXDXDXd thx 4 the love
-Mod M
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fucknobadtf2fanfiction · 8 years ago
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Act like a cunt get spoken to like a cunt.
you sound like one of those dom porn blogs LOL
-Mod M
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