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television-pil0t · 2 years ago

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The worst part is I genuinely love him. I love him so bad. I love everything about him. From his laugh to his shitty jokes to the way he insults me to make me laugh just enough to almost not realize it hurt a little. I still get nervous around him. Sometimes just because I know he can be pretty mean sometimes. I never bring it up because.. tbh I’m just kinda scared he’ll call me weak. I know I’m not. I’m stronger then him that’s for sure but I guess that’s why it would be so annoying for him to say? Like how could you say that? I’m still crushing on him. Not in a “I get butterflies” way. Even tho I do. But in a “I want him to be impressed. I want him to be happy with me. I want him to love me atleast a little bit as much as I love him.” Kinda way. He used to say “oh I love you more” and it would honestly be completely true a month ago because.. I mean you know what you did. It felt kinda good in a way. To finally genuinely be loved more? Not like I did anything with that information/feeling. I’m the riddler I’m not about to take him though some trials just to see how much he’ll keep loving me, but it did feel good. Now I KNOW I love him more than he loves me. It’s just like.. mm. This again. I love him. He can do just about anything to me again and I’d just smile and take it. Vent online because if I confront him he’ll either cry or get mad. So all I can do is love him sometimes. I just remember him telling me “I always love you but sometimes don’t like you” and just sit here and think. Idk shits crazy. I love him with such a fire inside me. It’s the only real thing I feel. When I’m not around him a crave him while being completely content with what I’m doing all alone. It’s like I fight myself. I love him. I live for him and his joys and laughs. I’m the sun that rises so people can see him and I’m the sun that sets so people can go to sleep remembering him. I love to see him laugh and I wish to see him dance. I want to see him run around outside and clean his room. I wanna see him just sitting there listening to music. I wanna see him cry. I wanna see him beg me for forgiveness while I beat the shit out of him. I want to look down and see his fucking blood on my god damn hands and splash it back in his face. I wanna kick him in the stomach for making my hands dirty. I want to hear him scream and beg and tell me he’s fucking sorry. God I just want him to scream he’s sorry one good time and maybe I’d be ok then. The physical pain would never add the fuck up to anything he’s put me though. Atleast he’d look at me and genuinely be fucking scared. I want him to be scared of me just as much as he knows he needs be because I love him. I want to keep him safe and I want him to know I genuinely mean well. I want him to come to ME with his problems. I want him TO CRY TO ME! I want him to need ME! I want him to want ME. Me and me only. I fucking LOVE him. It’s not fucking fair the shit I have to go though. I don’t wanna meet your fucking friends I just want you. As long as your right beside me then I’m fine. Then everything is fine. To kiss his lips and hold his hand. To look at him and knows HE KNOWS I can replace him if I wanted but I just don’t wanna. For him to need me. I wanna feel him grab on to me and hold on for dear fucking life in fear. I don’t care what clothes and make up he puts on I just want him to ask if he can post a picture of him before he does it. Am I insane. Sure. Of course. Yet I want that. I never want him to think for a second he’s above me that fucking f*gg*t bitch boy. I can’t stand when he thinks he’s better than me. I love him. I love him so much. More than anything. I’d do anything for him. No matter how much I wanna hurt him I love him 10x more. I wanna hold his face. I wanna tie his shoes just as much as I wanna help him take off his clothes. I wanna be there for him. I wanna buy him things. I know I can’t buy everything. I know I can’t get him everything. Surely not happiness but I will get pretty damn close. Everything he needs. I wanna be there while he works. I wanna come home and cook.

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deepbatched · 2 years ago

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(this could be us tbh)

hi darsy!, my fanfiction fairy godmother, sorry i queued this, i had something irl that didn't let me do my memes with ease.

so, let me start! THIS IS LITERALY ONLINE BUTTERFLYS, before the intense part started, i loved how you picture steve to be this gentlemanly "not-touching-you" kind of a mission man bc even under mistress he doesn't get completely clouded by the haze and the reader trying to be supportive and being onto the mission too is very sweet, me as a mortal doubt i would have braincells to endure that thing, i mean look at this (like it didn't come out of your mind lol)

He should be better than this, but… “I’m sorry,” he says aloud. He’s apologizing to himself as much as to you. “Me too,” you whisper, adding a little grateful noise that has Steve setting his forehead on the back wall.

and the fact that even in that situation steve tries to make it the most spy movie thing possible to not losing focus of the fact it was a really out of control test, i can only picture him like this

THE CLIFFHANGER tho, i can't wait! everything points out that i will love the third part, thank you so much darsy, stay safe<3

p.s: the easter egg has me spinning👀

Hand(s) Off | Ch 2: Ecstasy

(Steve Rogers/f!Reader sex pollen-esque multichapter)

MCU MASTERLIST | STEVE MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

Summary: Steve's loved hearing about you from Bucky. He doesn't want anything to derail the progress his best friend has made toward being a whole person again, which is why he's going to use every ounce of his slowly-deteriorating willpower to resist touching you, tasting you, taking you. After all, he's just met you, and his own integrity, not to mention Bucky's trust, is important to him.

Neither of you are prepared for the catch.

Length | Warnings: 2,841 | Explicit sexual situations, MINORS DNI

Note: I want to make clear that I’m treating the issues of consent with sensitivity, as you'll hopefully see in this chapter!

Fill: Adoptable 'Pheremones’ from @allcapsbingo

Tags (please request!): @starryeyes2000 @munstysmind @ronearoundblindly @chickensarentcheap @themaradaniels @tiny-anne @deepbatched @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wolfstar-marvelsfan

Excerpt:

“I’m-- wow, this is intense,” you say next.

There’s a little cry to the last word. You are clearly affected by Mistress too, and Steve feels both grateful and guilty about how relieved he is about that. This is a moral catastrophe, but you’re in this mess together, sort of. Anything less and Bucky would demand the right to kick his ass.

Hell, he probably still will.

“Take--” He stops himself. “Why don’t you take it off?”

“Nice catch,” you praise, leading him to buck his hips up. “Only if you take your shorts off, too. Fair’s fair.”

“Nothing about this is fair,” he growls out, getting up. Steve takes everything off because, fuck yes, access is what he needs right now. It’s a testament to how ruled he is by the drug in his system that it doesn’t even feel wrong to be wearing just a shirt in the room with you.

Ecstasy

Steve had known about you for a while now. He had been picturing you as a gorgeous pin-up, a dream woman, someone who could bridge the gap between 1940’s Bucky and the shadowed self his best friend had become. With everything Bucky’s told him about you, that impression had been reinforced.

Now he’s looking at you, your eyes wide, body a shapeless mass under the blanket, and he can’t help but wonder what you’ve heard from Bucky’s stories, from the footage of the attack on New York, from interviews since. Do you think he stands for integrity, kindness, justice? Can any of that possibly survive the unbearable need he’s feeling right now?

“I’m going to cover my face with this blanket, okay? Two layers of it.” You do that, waving a hand in front of your own face to check that it’s fully opaque. “You came here to change out of those wet clothes, don’t let me stop you!” You’re right, but Steve simply cannot picture that. Not with you in the room. “I tell you what: I’ll-- I’ll hum one of the songs I’ve been practicing for this weekend’s set, okay? That way I won’t be able to hear you.”

You’d said ‘hum,’ but the sultry notes resonating from under your blanket shouldn’t be described that way. Steve wrestles himself out of the soaked button-down and undershirt and chooses a white tank top for comfort. His temperature has to be in actual fever territory, and without any… relief, that’s hardly going to change.

When he unzips his pants, the humming gets louder, and Steve can’t help it, he rubs himself with the heel of his hand. He wonders if you’re sitting under that blanket with your eyes shut, picturing him undressing. Recognizing his own lowered inhibitions, he hurries up, stripping down completely in favor of getting every ounce of the drug away from body contact.

He’s pulling on a pair of shorts when you stop.

“Oh, I wanted to say, Cap--”

“Use ‘Steve,’” he says quickly. “I don’t want memories of--”

“Oh, God, you’re right. Sorry,” you groan in interruption.

It takes all his self-discipline not to respond to the need in that groan, squeezing his wet clothes so tightly they drip onto the carpet. You can’t see him, so you’re already continuing.

“I was going to say, you should bury those clothes in the hamper or a drawer or something, because I’m, uh, getting the equivalent of secondhand smoke, here.”

Steve distracts himself from that worrisome development by burying the clothes in his basket as if it were a mission. When he turns around, you’re standing, the blanket draped around you like a shield.

“Is this stuff dangerous at your dose? Should we break you out of here?” you ask, eyes wide.

“Breaking out would kill you.” He’d thought of that already. “The next level of security is enough nerve gas to incapacitate a super soldier. Today’s testing was to find out what’s safe.”

“At least they’ll get some data,” you muse. “Fuck, this blanket is getting hot-- I have an idea of how to survive this, but in case that fails, I’m sure Bucky already told you about my fifteen-minute adoring rave about your ass?”

He cannot fathom why you would say that. “Uh…”

“Never mind,” you say, wiping sweat off of your chin with the back of a hand. It looks like you’re right about being affected by the drug; Banner had said it was capable of being aerosolized. “So, we’re trapped here, yes?”

“Yes, but I have no intentions of touching you,” Steve says, using his Command voice, as much as he hates the cross-contamination. To his surprise, your eyes grow fierce.

“Well, I have no intentions of being the bitch so unappealing that Captain America would rather die than touch her with Mistress in his system, so why don’t you hear me out?”

Stunned and slightly impressed, Steve puts his hands up. “I didn’t think of that. Go on.”

You pull the blanket closer around yourself. You’d said you were too hot, so this is vulnerability, and it makes him feel protective. That’s some cross-contamination too, but it can’t be helped.

“Okay, if we’re not touching each other then we’ll have to touch ourselves, and we’re in this tiny room.” You walk over to the bed and point to the floor on either side of it, saying, “I suggest we each pick a side, flip the light off, and talk each other through it. It’ll be less intimate without the visuals, and maybe we can each pretend it’s a phone conversation on speaker?”

“With the bed as a natural barrier?”

“Yeah.”

Steve can already picture you seated on that blanket on the floor, head thrown back against the mattress, hands moving out of sight. It’s a compelling image. He clenches his jaw, pulling in too much air to give himself a different discomfort to distract himself with.

“Good thought. You stay on the door side. I’ll head over to the other side and stay there.”

“I don’t think you want to ‘soldier’ this, Steve,” you say, your voice softening to a whisper on his name like you have to force yourself to say it.

“Not sure I can stop,” Steve admits, propelling himself over to the wall on ‘his side.’ “Better get the light. This is…” he stops, needing to slow his breathing. All he can see when he closes his eyes is you slowly pulling the fabric of your dress up--

The light clicks off, plunging the room in darkness.

“Wow. I was expecting the darkness to feel comforting, but…” you say.

“Just sit down, shut your eyes,” Steve says-- and it’s all wrong. His voice is harsh, almost annoyed. He is annoyed. He should be better than this, but… “I’m sorry,” he says aloud. He’s apologizing to himself as much as to you.

“Me too,” you whisper, adding a little grateful noise that has Steve setting his forehead on the back wall. “Besides being very glad I can drop that blanket, I have no idea what I’m doing. Do we talk about ourselves? Each other?”

The taboo of the situation combined with the desire running through Steve’s body like wildfire weakens him to a kneel. This is the best outcome of a terrible situation, he tries to tell himself, but it doesn’t feel like that. Not with the prospect of that sultry tone of yours talking him through it.

“Steve?” You sound worried, alone.

“I’m here,” Steve hurries to say. “Got… distracted. Tell me what you’re doing, what you’re feeling? I still have to work on the command tone thing.” He moves to slump back against the side of the bed.

“You realize you’re still taking charge by not taking charge, yeah?” you say, more confident now, thank God.

“Would it help if you pretend we’ll die if one of us stops talking?”

“Spoken like a true Avenger,” you laugh. It’s throaty, affected, and Steve rests his hand on his lap, presses down. Yes. “Okay, I’m burning up. Inside and out. Even with short sleeves and a skirt.”

Steve makes a ‘Mmm’ noise without even meaning to, his palm rocking against his crotch.

“I’m-- wow, this is intense,” you say next.

Hell, he probably still will.

“Take--” He stops himself. “Why don’t you take it off?”

“Nice catch,” you praise, leading him to buck his hips up. “Only if you take your shorts off, too. Fair’s fair.”

“Nothing about this is fair,” he growls out, getting up. Steve takes his underwear off too because, fuck yes, access is what he needs right now. It’s a testament to how ruled he is by the drug in his system that it doesn’t even feel wrong to be wearing just a shirt in the room with you. With some of the last logical coherence he has left, he grabs a tube of lube out of his bedside drawer.

There are condoms there too, but he won’t be needing them.

“No touching yet!” you call out, right as Steve slides a slick fist along his own length. It feels like the first time he’s ever done it right.

“Who’s giving the orders?”

“You don’t want to leave me behind, do you?”

“I don’t, I promise,” Steve groans.

He collapses onto his knees at the bed, practically praying for release. The mattress shakes, and he can see the whole scene in his mind; you’re scrambling to pull the dress off over your head. He almost doesn’t recognize himself in his own thoughts, but that doesn’t stop them. Do your bra or panties have any lace? What color are they?

“What color?” he rasps aloud, before he can stop himself. Despite what you said, his hand falls back to his cock, gripping but not moving. Even that is intensely pleasurable, but it’s the best he can do.

“Are you asking about what I took off or what I’m still wearing?” you ask.

Playful. Steve’s lost. He’s lost, because you sound joyful despite the situation. This is working, your plan, but he can’t help but feel like he’s trespassing. He should know so much more about you before getting to talk about your underclothes. That thought spirals, predictably, to the kinds of things women used to wear in his own time: hidden garter ribbons, the proliferation of skirts, the--

“Steve, if you’re going to ask questions like that, you ought to listen to the answers. It’s only polite.”

“You answered?”

“I described them. What were you doing?”

His hips jerk forward into his waiting fist, and it’s so sweet and hot and not enough that Steve gasps. “I think you know.”

“God, your voice is rough right now, do you know that?” you ask in a voice that’s rough too. “I’m sliding down the straps of my black lace bra so they pull on my arms.”

“Where are your hands?” One of his is moving slowly, deliberately.

“I’m--” The bedframe shakes slightly, and when you speak again, your voice is muffled like you’d thrown yourself face-first onto the bed. “I’m in flames, but it just hit me where I am and who you are!”

It strikes him that no woman will ever forget who he is ever again, not even in the throes of a mind-altering chemical.

“I’m just a guy, Dee,” he says, turning to sit on the floor again. “I always was. Just a guy who wants to help, to do good.” He’s not doing good right now, saying these kinds of things to someone he cannot drive away from Bucky, but those qualms are fuzzy and indistinct.

“I think I need you to talk now.”

Most of what leaps to mind is filthy, for all that his thoughts move as slow as molasses. “If you slide your hand inside your panties and cup yourself, will both sides of your hand be wet?”

“Fuck, what a question!” Your low groan makes him really want to taste its resonance on the outside of your throat. The mattress moves slightly, just enough to signal to Steve that you’re reaching down. “Y-yes.”

His own hand is moving faster, twisting, the heat of the drug in his system setting fire to every inhibition and replacing the ash with pleasure. “How do you like to be touched?” he manages to ask.

The words hang between the two of you for awhile. Finally, you tell him, using a breathy moan that makes clear that you’re acting out the actions as you speak. His orgasm strikes not long after, and Steve doubles over with the force of it, vocalizing in ways he usually never allows himself to do.

“I loved listening to that.” Your voice has a whine to it, a desperation he totally recognizes.

“It’s your turn,” he says, reaching over and grabbing his pillow to remove the case and wipe himself off with it.

“It smells like-- fuck, that’s so intimate, I--”

“I wish I could smell you,” Steve blurts out, feeling himself harden again. He’d expected that, maybe not quite so quickly, but he's a super soldier overdosing on Mistress.

You let out a gasp, and he leans back against the mattress to feel that it’s shaking, shaking with the rhythmic movements of your arm. You’re right, this is almost unbearably intimate, but right now that’s the best thing ever, with all the possible objections lost behind a haze of hot desire and the smell of sex.

Steve shifts so he’s kneeling at the bed again, his chest and one arm anchored to the mattress so he can enjoy the sensations as you stimulate yourself. “I can feel you move,” he says lowly-- and that’s it, he can hear the change in your breathing.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh,” you wail, the sound changing as you close your lips on the sound to change it to a ‘Mmmm.’

It’s almost enough to send Steve over again, but he’s greedy for every hitched gasp, every translated shove against the bed as you rock through it. Something tells him that reminding you he’s here will make you self conscious, so though each noise burns from his ears all the way across his body, he suppresses the need to vocalize his own resulting pleasure-pain.

Your next words take the edge off.

“You have to be kidding me!” you snap, sounding frustrated. “That felt great, don’t get me wrong, but there’s no relief! I am still using every single brain cell not to climb you like a tree.”

Steve unabashedly humps against the mattress a bit, at that.

“Yeah, see? You know what I’m going through,” you grumble.

“I never expected camaraderie,” Steve coughs out on a laugh. The levity lifts the musky pall of desperate need, but only for a moment. “I have no idea how long this will--”

“I figured,” you whisper. “That AI, does it have --ahh, I am just so warm and so, god, hang on-- night vision?”

It takes an annoyingly long time for Steve to figure out what you’re asking. “I don’t think so. It monitors everyone, so if one of us gets so hot we need medical attention--”

“Excuse me, but you’ve been that hot since the 40’s!” you interrupt, adding, “You mean you don’t have an override that comes with your rank, or…”

It’s absurd, the way he’s jacking himself off and holding a conversation. “I, ah, turned it off. In case I asked for something inappropriate while my thinking was impaired.”

You sound affectionately amused as you say, “Oh no! Steve, your thinking was already impaired!”

“Yeah, I’m seeing that now.”

“Oh.”

This new tone of yours goes straight to his cock, and Steve just leans over and thrusts into his hand a few times, the ecstasy from each squeeze washing over him in waves. It seems even better than before, but somehow not painfully so.

He recovers enough coherence to say, “What is it?”

“This is-- oh. We might have some data for your other Avengers, here.”

“It’s better now, isn’t it?” Steve pants out.

“Yes!”

Your voice throbs with approval, and he throws out his free hand, grabbing at the sheet to hold on as another orgasm rocks through him.

“Wow, did that send you over?” you ask, sounding impressed.

“It’s dark, but I still see fireworks,” he jokes, immediately wishing he his need-fuzzed brain hadn’t chosen that word. The number of ‘Captain America’ fireworks jokes he’s heard over the past year…

“You know the way to a woman’s ego, telling her you’re seeing stars and she hasn’t even touched you!” you say in an affected, sultry tone. “That’s, god, I’m such a mess. That’s my ‘lounge singer’ voice after I’ve had a few drinks. Don’t get to use it much.”

“So both of us have a not-so-secret identity?”

The bed shakes, presumably with your laughter, and that both sharpens and magnifies Steve’s arousal in the oddest way, more similar to the beginning, when he’d wanted to protect you as much as he’d wanted to touch.

“I hope you don’t mind, but my back is killing me,” you say. Steve doesn’t understand what you mean until your bare leg sweeps across his outstretched arm.

Immediately, instinctively, he clasps it, and both of you suck in a breath. The all-consuming pleasure he’d felt touching himself was nothing compared to this. Before he can realize what he’s doing, what it means, Steve’s climbing up onto the bed, following the contour of your naked leg up as he goes.

“ Steve,” you groan out, and the hint of hesitation in your voice fists his hand against your hip.

“Do you want me to stop?” he forces out through clenched teeth.

“Absolutely not,” you moan, your hand finding his and tugging.

To be continued...

#midnight queue #darsynia #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers #the avengers #marvel fanfiction #marvel smut #steve rogers smut

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angelwoong · 5 years ago

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cravity bullet reaction: you’re on your period

a/n: this is a total mess! this is written informally, but these hcs really helped me through my period. lmk if i made any mistakes, bc i didn’t proof-read! hope you enjoy, and feel free to drop a request!

serim:

you know who it issssss

you know how this is gonna go

serim has your BACK

as the leader, he’s used to putting other people before himself

and if it’s for his girlfriend, he won’t even hesitate

‘i feel bad for ask-’

‘you’re my girl, i want to take care of you’

serim buys you pads, tampons, snacks, painkillers, anything you need

and won’t let you go anywhere without a hot water bottle

overall he’s really protective: he won’t want to let you out of his sight, and if you need to do something, he’ll volunteer to sort it out

serim will probably ask for permission before cuddling you, just in case you’re in pain

but trust me

once he gets the green light

you’re not escaping his enorMOUS arms any time soon

allen:

allen is the softest boyfriend ever

he genuinely doesn’t feel uncomfortable buying you sanitary products

bc he understands that periods are nothing to be embarrassed about, and he wants to help you as much as possible

he checks throughout the day how you’re feeling, and asks if there’s anything he can do for you

allen will want to cook for you, bc he knows it’s one of the best types of medicine

so you can look forward to that, too! he’s not an amazing chef, but the fact he’s made it with you in mind makes it perfect

he’ll constantly be looking for ways to put you at ease: offering to put on your favourite show, fetching a hot water bottle, or stroking your hair

no matter what, you know allen cares about you

and he certainly knows how to show it

jungmo:

okay at first jungmo is really lost

he’s an only child, and has never been in a position where he’s had to take care of someone before

but once he sees the pain on your face as a round of cramps hit

he completely panics and is prepared to do anything to help

chaebol mode activated: you want it, you got it

jungmo won’t have a problem going to the store and buying sanitary products

yeah, his cheeks are be flushed, the tips of his ears burning

but he would NEVER let his baby down

when he’s with you, he’ll act silly to try and make you laugh

dancing, telling jokes, maybe even slapstick

he’ll kiss the tip of your nose

whatever it takes to make you feel better, he’ll do

there’s nothing he hates more than seeing the person he loves feeling down

so you had better believe he’ll do everything in his power to take care of you

woobin:

okay so woobin is an absolute angel during your period

he’ll die inside at the thought of buying sanitary products, but if you need them then he’ll go

he’ll smile awkwardly at the checkout

his cheeks uwu

‘they’re for my girlfriend :)’

and will laugh nervously and hand over throw the money, desperate to escape the awkward situation

make sure you shower him w kisses when he gets back, bc mans almost passed out

woobin will sing for you a lot, as long as you don’t mind

his voice is amazing, and he won’t let it go to waste

all he wants to do is bundle you up in his lap while he sings softly for you

so he does exactly that

also!! woobin won’t tell you, but he’ll do some research online

he’ll watch some youtube videos about massages to reduce period pain

so if you indicate your stomach is hurting

he’ll practically force you to lay down, not taking no for an answer

bc he is NOT going to sit back and watch his baby in pain

and he doesn’t want to waste those 45 mins of youtube massage practice, either

the gif i can’t stop giggling:

wonjin:

WHINY BABY

he’ll feel bad that you’re on your period, but really really really doesn’t want to buy you sanitary products

but will agree to the store to go buy painkillers and snacks

when he gets there tho, he will see the sanitary products aisle and something will shift in his mind

‘wonjin, you are NOT going to let her down’ - his conscience

he’ll walk down the aisle, not caring about feeling embarrassed anymore

he couldn’t possibly let you down

wonjin messages you asking what product you want

‘aight babe im at the store what pussy si-’

waits for your reply, buys what you want, and MARCHES out of the store with his head held high

he is NOT a coward

and when he gets back, you shower him with affection

bc tbh you have no idea what came over him, but you know it wasn’t an easy task for him

and for the rest of your period, you had better do what he says

bc the need to protect his girl has kicked in

you had better drink the hot tea he gives you, and you had better remember to take your medicine

if you forget, you WILL be scolded

while he cuddles you and strokes your hair

minhee:

his entire face goes bright red when you tell him you’re on your period

mans looks like a whole tomato

stutters as he tries to talk to you about it

if you ask minhee to buy you sanitary products, he’ll freeze

he has no clue like???

brain never once considered this scenario??????

kind of just stares at you for a few seconds

and then it clicks in his mind that this is the ULTIMATE flexing opportunity

he doesn’t even ask you what product you want, before kissing you on the cheek and leaving for the store

he’ll message you and ask when he gets there ijhfnfb

mentally hypes himself

‘yes i have a girlfriend, yes i am here buying pads for her, yes i am boyfriend of the year’

won’t rlly talk to you about your period after that

but watches you VERY closely

if he notices that you’re in pain or stressed, he’ll trace small circles on the back of your hand

he’ll leave painkillers and a glass of water for you on the counter

he’ll put on your favourite movie

you might not notice it, but he cares, and he’s got your back

hyeongjun:

he’s not going to buy you sanitary products. sorry. not yet. it’s not that he doesn’t want to, tho

maybe when he’s older, but he just can’t bring himself to, he’s scared ;-;

but he will buy you ANYTHING else

hyeongjun feels awful about it, and orders some tampons from amazon or smth

they’re not even the right kind

but you know he tried his best

as for everything else, he’s an angel

will play with your hair, cuddle with you, make you hot drinks, run a bath for you

only after asking serim for advice, that is

but as the months go by, and he gets used to things

he will be a PRO

and from the beginning, hyeongjun makes up for whatever he lacks with sheer affection

bc he really does love you, and won’t ever let you forget it

taeyoung:

okay hear me out

i think taeyoung would surprise you

he may be young, but he’ll really step up to the play for you

if you tell him what sanitary products you need, he will go to the store and get them

will probably take another one of the boys with him, but will go nevertheless

taeyoung will look up period tips online,too, hoping to help you through the month

would probably download a period tracker app on his phone

and would make you hot tea and bring you painkillers throughout the day

he’d run you a bath, too!!

and would probably borrow steal one of seongmin’s candles to relax you further

and on top of that, taeyoung would be really affectionate

not in a suffocating way, or anything

he’d just be your side at all times

reaching for your hand, or resting his hand on your waist

pressing a kiss to your forehead, or brushing your hair out of your face

he just wants you to know that he’s there, and that he loves you

and that he’s going to keep you safe

seongmin:

ah yes, the baby

quite surprisingly, seongmin would handle your periods well

not exactly on taeyoung level, but he’d still do a great job

he’ll go to the convenience store to buy whatever you needed

but not without a reluctant minhee for support

seongmin is another member who will probably do some research online

he’s very cautious, but eager to make you feel better

will ask every so often if you need anything, fully ready to cater to your needs

if you need a hot drink or some painkillers, he’ll sort them out for you

or if you just want to cuddle, you can be sure that he’ll stay by your side

it’s a bit weird for him at first

bc he is young, and isn’t really used to taking care of someone

but he’ll find his footing quickly

and will surprise himself with just how much he wants to take care of you

yeah he’s young, but there’s no mistaking love

#cravity reactions #cravity fluff #cravity x reader #cravity scenarios #serim fluff #allen fluff #jungmo fluff #woobin fluff #wonjin fluff #minhee fluff #hyeongjun fluff #taeyoung fluff #seongmin fluff

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snickiebear · 4 years ago

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Hi bby! 1, 2, 3, 6, 16, 27, 29, 33, 35! 🖤

mittens!!! loml!!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

oh goodness... um, i’d say a 4?? yeah, that sounds about right, only because i often make so many tense mistakes and even when i edit there’s always something to fix. and just,,, im still learning a lot (aren’t we all). plus, sometimes the stuff i put out needs so much more work (see: my recent shisaku fic... i want to tear it up and put it back together.. ugh.. also wt&r, just everything)

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

OH GOODIE! i just... well, i wrote a lot when i was twelve-fourteenish, then kind of on and off through the years. never really had anything to ground me and get me to take writing seriously. and then i found naruto and sakura who has so much unused potential and it just made me so angry to see her treated that way.

point being, the naruto fandom (more specifically the sakura fandom) rooted me down and allowed me be able to grow as a writer even though i’ve only been posting since january my writing style has changed so much, and i can physically feel myself becoming a better writer.

plus, i just love it. the thrill of being able to use these characters and pairings and do what i want with them?? i drink it up, i love it!!! its so freeing and such a great way to really dig deep within writing itself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

i think its just the way i word things, you and a lot of others call it poetry but meh i just call it fancy words or word vomit from my brain AHAHHAHA

also, my thing is God Killers, God Eaters, and Angry Wrathful Women at this point, so maybe thats another thing?

but honestly,,, i have no clue... you’d have to ask my lovely readers, im so thankful for them 😭

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

plot probably. this changes often though. usually when i have an idea, the rest comes to mind and i jot it down and come back and change things and stuff, so thats usually pretty easy tbh... at least for now LMAO

and inner dialogue, inner struggles, showing the entire internal thing. its fun writing that angsty part of a story, the small insights into a character’s mind, how miserable and alone they feel. or, perhaps how happy they are, overjoyed and at peace.

OH AND WORLD BUILDING. i pride myself so much on my world building. i honestly think thats one of the better things im good at! just weaving small details into the text, and subtly building a world within your mind, oh i love it so much!!!!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

mmmm nothing really comes to mind? men simping for women who could kick their ass? tho idk if thats really a guilty pleasure....am very fond of same age aus, sometimes mafia aus too... ummm,, yeah

(probably big dick tenzo tbh... and the fact that kakashi’s face is a legal weapon AHAHAHA,,, and broken, vunreble men. also, shattered, all consuming women.)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

oh god... i cannot chose! you, ele, al, and hika leave the kindest comments, and literally any comment on the things i write just make me so so so so so HAPPY. i just them more than kudos tbh.

but! one comment on the intimacy of being understood i always come back to. it was left by GuardianMars and they wrote that the fic was like a “love letter to the pairing.” and that well. i think about that comment all the time.

there have been so many others comments that have utterly touched my heart and that i will go to read on terrible, horrible days and i value ALL comments. especially those who say “i’m rereading this again” or “i’ll read anything you put out” that just. there is something so intimate about that, that utter faith and loyalty that i do not know what to do with.

its so touching and makes me truly believe in the good of the world.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

yes! i am attempting to get better at writing smut because ol&w is going to have some fucking in it so i experimented in that shisaku fic and just..... yeah idk man. idk... its something i do want to get better at cause, meh why not? and i want to write some good porn for my readers damnit! HAHAHA

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

hmmm,,, probably that i stress so much and yet so little at the same time? allow me to elaborate! i stress so much about whether my writing is actually good or if people are just being nice LMAO and also posting, i get cold sweats and a thumping heart and yiKES

but also, i enjoy writing so its like “fuck you (jk ily guys) imma write what i wanna!”...do you see my issue? HAHAHA

also, im a planner. most of the time, and a lot of the details in my more serious fics (ol&w) are blink and miss details but they’re important and i LOVE foreshadowing!!!! like yes, i will vaguely mention something and itll simply come back with a vengeance!

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

aaaaaa okokok thank you for this ask LMAO i just love talking about writing and rambling (as i often do,, im a long winded person, im very sorry)!

but anyways! my summer semester just started up and i’m taking three purely online classes and the college im attending (im a dual enrollment student; meaning a high school and college kid,, taking advantage of the system!) fucked up my schedule so! im taking two TWELVE WEEK CLASSES that will end in AUGUST???? and then my fall sem starts five days later so... no summer break for nadia! yay...

writing will be very slow and updates will be too, which i am so sad and frustrated about because i’ve finally hit a paved road and now we’re driving into the forest! all bumps and bruises damnit! BUT worry not! i (as i said above, am i severe planner. every day has a plan, i am also an avid lover of lists also. i have lists for EVERYTHING) am working out a schedule so that i can get all my school shit done as soon as i can (while not failing) and write while hopefully not burning myself out.

ol&w is such an intricate fic and im truly trying to give it the justice it deserves,,, im just hoping that my dear readers can bear with me HAHAHAHA there is honestly so much going on in that fic; shikamaru’s development, the underlying plot, the hate to love build up, the world building, and then laying down the foundations for the next fic (because yes, this is supposed to be a trilogy.. question is; will i be able to write it?) (answer: maybe. hopefully. i desperately want to but it might take some time.)

BUT ASLO i have so many oneshots i want to write! kisame week! kakashi week! kibasaku long fic! and not to mention my og work that i plan on rewriting and putting up on ao3 because a few people showed some interest. there is just so much to do and write and i am itching to do it all! but. well, but school, and the exhaustion of insomnia, and the weight of stress, sigh.

shit sucks, it is what it is. but writing is like my safe haven and i just love pouring all myself into my fics and then baring my soul to you all and you take a peek and decide to keep looking. that is my favorite part of this little pocket of tumblr.

this was not really... fic related? more like a dump of issues! so sorry about that AHAHAHAH

anyways! thank you so much mittens! :)))))))))

pick my brain!

#silly things from silly friends

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purble-turble · 4 years ago

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I can't help but feel so sorry for Shan's demon friend. Since they're the closest connection Red has to his "fiance" and "daughter", it means that they're probably Red's favorite and if they're the same age as Shan their parents probably told them stories about him so they know if they slip up they're most likely dead. But they've also probably walked in on him crying as he watched the surveillance of the last ten years, so...

You should feel sorry for EVERY demon who was to serve under Demon King Red tbh lol.. I don’t think this shapeshifter has to necessarily be the same age as Shan since they’re a shapeshifter and could appear younger if needed, but it’s kind of fun to think they’re also a kid. That way their impression of Red is 100% based on stuff he does going forward and not his previous ruling over the court. Of course, after Red comes back and assumes his throne again after a ten year absence, he would have cleaned house and anyone who was there to witness that would know better than to disappoint their king. So yeah, after the shapeshifting demon is discovered by MK and driven off, they would have gone back to Red being like hey sorry, MK found me out, BUT WAIT before you incinerate me for my failure look I am still friends with her online so it’s not a total loss. This is both good for them because they didn’t 100% fail and also terrible because now Red wants constant updates about how Shan is doing just as before, but this time they don’t have the luxury of being stationed out in the city and they’re stuck right by Red’s side. Probably have to give him the login info to all of the accounts that Shan is friends with too so he can see everything that’s up to.. and yes he definitely weeps over every twitter update Shan posts, wishing she was safe behind the palace walls with him. The shapeshifting demon has to silently stand by, patiently waiting for their phone back while Red has a freaking episode every time Shan posts a selfie to instagram... Red would just take the phone and interact with Shan himself, but since this demon blew it on staying in touch with her in person, he doesn’t want to risk tipping her off that he’s a different person, so he allows the demon to keep up the friendship in his place. He reads ALL of their messages tho and it’s super creepy :U

#ask #spicynoodleshipping #dark spicynoodles #demon king red #calabash #shan

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domreaderrecs · 4 years ago

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Oh boy do I have some kink discourse for you. Here’s a wholeass list:

1. A female dominant does not need to be a sadist who is always torturing and abusing their sub. They can be soft and kind and caring.

2. Findom is a valid form of domination and is really a kink, it is not just women faking it to get money.

3. Online domination is possible, although there are more risks involved, it is still a valid form of domination.

4. Submissive black men are allowed to refuse to be called slave and their dom shouldnt be annoyed they can’t used their preferred honorific.

5. Kink and fetishes can be incorporated without the use of the power dynamic found in BDSM.

6. BDSM is still BDSM if the rope is pink and the outfit is white lace instead of red and leather.

7. It should be standard practice for there to be a safe word that means everything is fine so that the Dom can check in on the sub easily without breaking the scene.

8. It is only BDSM when both parties have discussed before hand, otherwise it’s sexual assault (yes that includes Chad who brought out the rope without warning and now Bethany is just going along because she likes him)

9. BDSM has always and will always be driven by the LGBT community.

10. Under 18 year olds do not have a place in the BDSM community. If they wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.

Yeah that’s about it for now. I’m realizing you probably didn’t want this much but oh well. We’re here now. Let me know what you think!

whewww so much to unpack here lets go its essay time

1. !!!! this is probably one of the most fundamentally misunderstood parts of femdom. it don’t gotta be ball crushing and whipping and calling him a worm all the time, or even at all. this is probably what turns so many women off from trying it or thinking they might be into a more dominant role. gentle femdom is way more palatable for beginners and for me personally, just way more enjoyable (even tho i definitely would wanna make a boy cry from time to time)

2. I used to be one of those people who looked down on findom. I still don’t understand why anyone would be into it tbh but findoms get a lot of shit for no reason... being a sugar baby is so glamorized but if you’re a findom you’re cold, or a bitch, or taking advantage. even though they’re both just people who get money from men who have money to throw at them for sexual favors... but one’s demonized and one’s all the rage... hm i wonder why

3. I have no real/successful experience with this... more on that in number 10

4. 100000%!! the stories i’ve seen from black subs in kink (mostly black women but still) are horrendous. a lot of doms will try to enforce a master/slave relationship, and try to exercise their authority to make subs agree to it. i know it’s a common dynamic, but that shit is wayyyy different to black people... any dom should know that. forcing your sub to do anything is wrong, but especially something so racially, historically, and culturally insensitive. and don’t get me started on the surprise “race play” stories i’ve heard... like i said doing anything without your sub’s consent is wrong but THAT kind of thing requires double consent with a cherry on top. this is part of the reason I’m so scared to enter the kink scene... this shit scares me. thats why the title mistress and master/slave dynamics in general just isn’t for me. it makes me think of my ancestors :/

5. again, 1000% agree. i’ve said this on my blog before, but i’ll say it again. not everything has to be dom/sub stuff. if you wanna peg your bf you don’t have to tie him up and call him names or boss him around, you can just peg him. i feel like ever since FSOG this whole dom/sub thing has grown way out of proportion, but that’s a whole other essay for another day

6. yessss I hate the stereotype of dom outfits as black, latex, leather, way too high to walk in boots... like does it look fire?? yes of course but pink and lace and knee high socks would make a fit that’s just as fire.

7. this is non-negotiable to me. whenever I hear someone say “I don’t like safe words” or “I/We don’t need a safe word” it’s just a red flag to me. idc what anyone says safe words are mandatory.

8. Yes. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but with the rise of the popularity of “rough sex” (again, thanks FSOG) there’s seems to be a rise in people who just assume their partner may be into something, or who just try to experiment on their partner without asking them first. I’ve heard a lot of friends and other girls talk about guys just going straight into choking them, spanking them, and pulling their hair without even asking if they like it (another reason I’m scared to get out there and do stuff, as a person who is very much not a sub or into being treated roughly or tossed around, it’s a big fear of mine). I’ve also seen a lot about girls just randomly trying to finger their boyfriends. If it’s not vanilla, and y’all haven’t discussed it, do not assume it’s on the table. We’ve gotten to a point that kinky stuff is so talked about and normalized (especially with young adults) that people forget it’s actually kinky.

9. period.

10. okay so story time, around the age of 15/16 is when I started to realize I was into kinky stuff. The preference had kinda always been there, but I couldn’t really place a name to it. I had always felt like an outcast among my peers when it came to the way they would talk about romantic and sexual relationships (I was a year ahead, so all my friends were 1-2 years older than me, so they started to do that stuff earlier than I did) because the things they talked about and liked were way different from the stuff I would think/fantasize about, so I always stayed quiet (teenage girls are very vocal about having choking/daddy kinks but that’s definitely indicative of a much larger problem that i will not get into bc that’s a whole other very very long essay that I will definitely write on here one day but not now). So when I found out what gentle femdom was I felt like I had a community that understood me, and everything just clicked. I would lurk on online communities and I lived for the discourse on there but I could never actively participate because every community had a strict “no minors” policy. They would say exactly what you said, “If minors wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.” I didn’t want to make anyone catch a case and I didn’t want to get targeted by predators so I tried to follow their advice. i found nothing. There honestly just isn’t that much educational stuff for “kinky teenagers”, or at least none that fit me. There was no femdom oriented stuff. I mean sure there was the standard “consent is important especially in bdsm relationships” but like that didn’t really help me. I had so many questions, that I could never feel comfortable asking my mom or a therapist, and especially not my friends. I didn’t know how to express this part of myself. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it and I couldn’t even watch porn like a normal teenager (we all know the state of femdom porn. its bad) so I was this ball incredible frustration and confusion and i didn’t know what to do with it. So I unfortunately turned to twitter. There I made a little like minded friend. he was also 16 so i thought “this is good, a non adult also kinky teenager who I can relate too. what could go wrong :)”(I’m sure you see where this is going) I was so excited to have a new friend, but ofc, our convos soon took a turn. However, since he was the first person to ever show interest in me, and the only person my age who i could talk to who understood me, i started to catch feelings. But he was a teen just like me, just as horny and confused and sooo immature. He started to pressure me into domming him/becoming his domme, but I refused because I wasn’t ready (i saw on one of those online communities I used to lurk in that its not healthy for your first sexual experience to be bdsm and I took that to heart). he ghosted me. needless to say that “friendship” was toxic. i realized too late that he only saw me as a kink dispenser, and didn’t care about me on a personal level. it also made me realize how not “mature for my age” I was. i say all this to say, NO, teenagers should not be participating in kink. they are not mature enough. however education and resources for them are not where they should be. if we want to discourage them from putting themselves in these situations, we need to better provide them with education and healthy ways to relieve these urges/feelings (i eventually took up writing, it helped me a lot). i feel like had i found a healthier and safer way to express/explore that side of myself, I would’ve never gotten in that situation to begin with. That experience has kinda put me off from dipping my toe into the actual community (well that and the lack of diversity but we’ve already talked about that)

ALSO the amount of very young children i’ve seen in the kink “community” on twitter is alarming... you’re not a little you’re 12

anyways, thanks so much for this essay of an ask and sorry i wrote an essay in response to each one lol but like I said I could discuss kink all day

#thanks anon #thanks shel #more kink discourse #thoughts

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atiny-piratequeen · 4 years ago

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ayo miss fie :) i had my last exam today and i can say i've officially graduated..without the graduation...or anything else...yeah. i got to take a lot of pics with my bf and some of my friends and my family tried making it a bit better by letting me pick what we ate for dinner and getting a cake which ik i should be grateful for and i am, it's just,,not a whole graduation ceremony yknow? I've been at that school for 11 years and idk any place better than i do there, tbh i'm excited for the future but i'm also terrified of this new way of life without the people and walls of the place that basically raised me. idk, i'm just upset and a mix of other emotions but we might get an online graduation at the end of the month which isn't ideal at all but it's still something so..yeah.

anyway, enough about me. how are you miss fie? are you doing any better now than the last time i checked in? saturday sounds great for the NS drop too since i can think of it as a bonus in my present to myself, which is me binging NS and possibly AtT now that I'm free for a long while so i'm really looking forward to it :) (i hope that didnt come off as pushy for the update tho..i'm sorry if it sounded that way but i promise it's not how it was intended) anyway yea, i'm sorry for coming into your asks all sad and negative but i hope u stay safe and take care miss fie <3

One day at a time. You dont need a ceremony to make things official and honestly depending on how you celebrate, you can throw a much better graduation celebration on your own.

I'm very proud of you. Your last year and some change was not easy at all and idk how it was in the Before Time but I'm very proud of you honey.

As for me, slowly but surely im doing better. I can actually write without hitting a hard episode 3 words in and im doing my best to get back to providing the content yall are all here for. Thank you for asking, I hope the first couple of posts are okay bc I'm still a bit Out Of It but I hope all of yall waiting for me can enjoy what I have in store for now until I go back to normal.

Stay hydrated, have a snack or a meal, enjoy the company of those you love, and congrats again on graduation, my dear. You did it and I'm proud of you

#asks #seomisaho

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shiro-0197 · 4 years ago

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aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

#Ari💕#💞💞💝💝💗💖💗💖💕💝💕💝💓💖💗💖💓💖💕💖💞💓💝💕💝💖💓💖💗💖💞💝💕💘💕💘💖💖💗💖💓💖💖💞💖💝💕💘💘💗💝💗💖💓💖💞💖

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sherlock-is-ace · 4 years ago

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1/n Yep I remember that 🥂 you can call me bubbles or B :) I like those ALSO oooof even i need to vent today I am so mad at my sister. Now my family is quite religious you know? Especially my mom. She sides with the police on LCDP which says a lot lmao. And like i told you, I have no one to talk to about lcdp because they'd be really mad, and second of all they wouldn't appreciate the nuance of the characterisation, or the cinematography, it's all just black and white and they'd think I'm crazy

Oh B, I’m so so sorry. I understand the pressure, and I know it’s not easy dealing with your parents expectations, and I also know that the whole education thing in India is a huuuuge stressor. It’s normal to feel anxious and scared, even if you don’t have an anxiety disorder. Those are very important exams, and it doesn’t help that everyone expects you to be perfect, and I also know the words of a random guy online aren’t gonna change how you feel. But you can’t let other people’s expectations dictate your life. It’s incredibly hard, and I’m not really the one to talk cause I care so much about what people think of me. But this is your education, this is your future, and you get to create it. You have to do your best, work hard, yes, but don’t punish yourself for not being perfect, cause nobody is ok? You’re gonna be scared and anxious, but you gotta trust yourself, study hard, but stay safe mentally. You’re always gonna worry about more than what’s on your hands, you need to remember that. You can worry about studying, that you can control, you can do your very best, but you can’t worry about what other think of you, what other believe, because that’s not on your hands, that’s on theirs.

You’re gonna do great in those exams, you’re gonna pass, it doesn’t matter if it’s with full marks in all subjects or not (tbh it’s very unrealistic to get full marks in all exams...). Also, a very important thing you gotta remember is, no matter how you do in them, or what people think or say, you are smart! One test in one specific moment of your life does not represent how smart you are or how successful you’re gonna be.

Education is important, going to a good university is important, but whatever you want to do in life, you will be able to do it, because you can. It doesn’t matter if you have the worst teacher in the world, if you’re interested in the subject, you’re gonna learn either way. No matter if you go to the best university, and get the best marks in all exams or not, what you want to do, you will do it, because you’re the one in control. Please remember that <3

That’s awful! I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure your sister didn’t mean to make things difficult, she probably just made a mistake. That doesn’t eliminate the consequences tho, but you should talk to her, and tell her to be more carefull next time, at least so you both can still have that safe and private space to talk about whatever, and so nobody takes your phones away.

And listen, parents and older people don’t understand these things... You’re not doing anything wrong, and as much as you use media and lcdp specifically as an escape, it’s not interfering with your life, it’s something you use to unwind, it’s a hobby, and a source of inspiration and motivation. It’s not only not wrong, but it’s in fact good! We need those things, it’s helping your creativity, analysis skills, you use it to socialize, to have fun, to express your feelings, to bond with friends and with your sister. You mom can say all she wants, and call it “jobless things”, but those things are what make life a little more bearable. I’m sure she has her hobbies, her interests, this is the same. I know you know all this, but sometimes, hearing it from someone else, helps to settle it in your brain a bit better ;)

I’m not suggesting you confront your parents if that’s not a possibility, I don’t know the situation in your home (and I also understand if you’re just not comfortable cause same with my mom). But at least, don’t let her opinions affect you, easier said than done, I know.

I hope you feel better soon, and get your private space back as soon as possible, that’s important. But I’m sure your mom is gonna forget about this soon enough. Oof I want to hug you so bad right now, please know that I’m always here for you, this is a 100% safe space for whatever you need, I’m always gonna do my best to help, at least listen to you and reassure you that you’re fine and great! <3 I know I keep saying this, and I hope you don’t take it as me pressuring you, these asks really don’t bother me, but if you ever wanna come off anon, and use tumblr direct messages (that have no limit *cough cough i hate tumblr cough cough*) the way you used hangouts with your sis, I’m fully down for it ;)

For what it’s worth, I don’t think your crazy, I think you’re a wonderful human, very smart, with very valid interests that just has a bit of a difficult family, but don’t we all? Please don’t take that the wrong way, I don’t mean it as “yOuR pRobLeMs ArEn’T sPeCiaL”, I mean it as “I get it hun, you’re not alone, pls hang on” <3

Might not be able to give you a real hug (cause countries and also covid lol) but that’s not gonna stop me from sending you a big online bear hug (the bear is Helsinki, obviously ;) ) <3

#lovely anon #<3 #B #ask #anon #long post

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azenta · 5 years ago

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hi! thanks for ur posts on IVs, it helped me understanding them in a lot more detail and nuance. could u contrast what aux so vs so blindspot would look like in the withdrawn triad (4, 5 9) of inferior fe types? im confusing telling apart low fe/enneagram withdrawness from soc blindspot. like an ixtp 5/9 sp/so vs ixtp 5/9 sp/sx ... sorry if this is confusing let me know if i can explain better and thank u.

First off, you're asking something highly specific, so i will present each things apart to contrast them and you will have to put things together yourself, because this would be awfully long to do.

Aux Soc: Having the need for Soc but as a mean to satisfy Sp or Sx. Using relations and networking to satisfy the dominant. Also, the sentiment of belonging in a group, either real, composed of friends or acquaintances, or symbolic, such as one's culture, family root, even identifying with a certain category/community (ex.: LGBTQ, gender, work affiliation, etc.)* as a prolongation of the dominant instinct. The belonging in a group brings either Sp or Sx to the individual. A concern for reciprocity and similarities in relationships, as Soc is seen as bringing some "stability" to the dominant. Also, an attunement to power dynamics within given groups (again, real or symbolic), again to better perceive what is best for the dominant in the case of aux Soc**

*Note that simply saying you are (ex.) homosexual is not Soc, that would just be a fact, it's more about saying you are from the LGBTQ, that your self, mentality and/or identity is defined through a "social" category. Homosexuality, and even sexual orientation and identity, defines the person rather than homosexuality being an aspect among many in the individual. They'll use it to define to what they belong.

** Very simplistic example: Soc identifying someone as a leader. Sp/so could want to affiliate with them as it'd bring good ways to Sp, or either avoid them as this leader could be going beyond their boundaries, comfort or threaten simply too much the self (related to the core.) An Sx/so on the other hand could use it as an opportunity for challenge or get some rival which would arouse their Sx for intensity (also related to mating, male against male to win over the "female", a matter of life or death. "Female" could simply be the feeling of being attractive and the liveliness gained from it), or end up being buddy as they have good chemistry and being friend with the leader would bring more Sx occasions, or even they could want to seduce them (Male, female parading bs). Again, depends of the core goal.

Soc blindness: Uncaringness and a certain unconsciousness/blindness about Soc. The person doesn't feel the need to belong in any particular group/affiliation (real or symbolic) and neither rely on networks or even forming and caring for networks as their core goal or as a support to their core. They won't identify(/self/mentality) with groups, and also can have very rigid and inaccurate perception of "soc groups". They can understand that they exist, but they won't see the point of building or defining their Self/identity/mentality around it. An uncaringness for the reciprocity and similarity with others, what matters is the chemistry and having their boundaries respected. Also, obliviousness to power dynamics.

Within withdrawn types

As a general rule, Soc makes withdrawn core more "out there", or simply, more extroverted. But truth is withdrawn mechanism of 4,5 and 9 is about making one retreat into either the heart (emotion), the head or the body itself, and Soc means group serve as a "place" to withdraw to. Soc will therefore help them indulge furthermore into either their emotion, head or body. The goal of withdrawness is to make one retreat where they are the most at ease in order to avoid their core fear one way or another.

A Soc 9 within a group of friends will actually be totally withdrawn and absorbed into the "present moment" and disconnected both of their emotions and head to be more in tune with their "body" or world around. Even a Soc 5 within a group mean they are actually withdrawing from reality by indulging their sense of competency and utility through mentalizing and analyzing (head) for the sake of the people/group (ideology, project, etc.) they are involved into. Same goes for Soc 4s, through others (Soc), the group/s they belong to, they can indulge into their emotions more intensily. They are less typically introverted, but still nonetheless withdrawn from one reality or another. Though, it's important to recall once more that those said "groups" can be symbolic, however usually they always reach people having the same sense of belonging to that group as a way to actually feel that they belong to it (another example, Music genre, such as Metal Lovers or even K-pop fans).

By consequence, Soc blind withdrawn core are the most typically introverted. Only Sp/so will also make them more introverted due to Sp dom reservedness, but within groups you'll see them be quite active as it will be a way to withdraw for them, especialy online groups.

Core 4: Soc in 4s will be used to define the identity, so using some groups (sense of belonging in certain groups) that would accentuate how unique they are. They could all well see how everyone is and pursposefully going against to stand out. They'll want to form relations with people as a way that makes them feel even more unique, because they'll be glorified (more w3) or loved/appreciated for their uniqueness, and this attention will validate that they are indeed unique.

Soc blindness will make the 4 unconcerned to where or what they belong. Their sense of identity will probably be built more around provocation as a mean to attract something highly specific (Sx). As much as repulsive reaction than intrigued reaction. They'll be less into comparison to harness how much they stand out and more self-absorbed. However, it makes them more at loss as how to be unique since they have barely any reference to know how much they are really unique, and so how much they succeed in their inner quest. It ironically makes them stand out quite a lot, but since they cannot see for themself, they never really feel like they are unique enough, and this brings them in constant cycles of destructing and rebuilding anew.

Core 5: Soc in 5s is using networks to gain knowledge and to extend their knowledge too, as a mean to feel they are useful and competent. They are more prone to also hoard knowledge useful to the group they want to/ feel they belong to. They'll be more in a quest to be useful to something bigger than the self.

Soc blind 5s will not care to have any sense of belonging into a group to feel they have any usefulness, they'll believe only the right persons can understand them, and so be less concerned (if at all) about sharing or spreading their knowledge to feel useful or competent. They'll use it more as a mean to test and attract the right things or persons (someone that complete them, that make up for their weaknesses), and so will rather share it at given moment. In other words, they'll be more possessive of their knowledge. Their competency issues will be more at play with any knowledge or expertise that help them make up for their weaknesses, so that "complete" them and therefore, preserve them. The more their weaknesses are still obvious, the more incompetent they'll feel and the more prone to hoard even more knowledge to fill the gap they'll indulge into.

Core 9: Soc makes the 9s attuned to find group/s (even a cause, such as animal cruelty enters this realm of Soc group too) with which they can merge with and extend their needs into. This group (real or symbolic) become them and they become the group. The many relations and network will allow the 9 to extend itself the most possible. They also depend on those relations to not get their sense of peacefulness disturbed, and therefore will rely on any relationship to make them avoid being in touch with their own inner needs (Sx or Sp dom will make them pickier on which to choose or maintain). They'll also depend on the peacefulness of the given group (they want to belong to) or individual around to feel at peace.

Soc blind 9s want to find particular someone/s with whom they can lose themself into safely (Sp way). Again, all about completion of the self and the prolongation of the self in another, though up until a certain point due to Sp. The other's needs and desires become the 9 desires. Those 9s haven't a sense to belong into something greater and won't feel able to extend to just anyone to fulfill their needs. Their needs is specifically the completion of themself through a complementary pair. Of course, for Sp/sx this completion would rather help them better maintain boundaries, to better define themselves and maintain other's at bay. Sp/sx are less about loosing the self and more about finding something or someone (that complete and have chemistry with) that helps them better preserve their sense of peace.

Side note: The soc blind description are heavily leaning toward Sx/sp tbh (especially 9's). The aspect of provocation and seeking chemistry is still obviously present in Sp/sx, but not as much obvious and used as a way to preserve themself furthermore.

IxTPs: Inferior Fe is valuing your personal judgement at the expense of how it makes other feels and what other's values. Ti is how they conceive things work so if it doesn't please others or hurts other's feelings or values, they'll just not care, because that's how things work however you feel about it, whatever you value. Tho, healthy and growing IxTP ultimately aspire to reconcile their truth with other's values, so to get a sense of morality that is still coherent, accurate and true but that also consider other's values, feelings, judgement in it. So, that align with a "greater good".

The difference with low Fe and soc blindness is, low Fe is the one responsible to be uncaring or inconsiderate of others, and soc blindness is a simple obliviousness to group affiliation, power dynamic and not caring about entertaining relationships for the sake of it (aka networking). Being an inconsiderate fuck is (not so healthy) low Fe bullshit, not Soc blind ones. But mixed together you get someone that don't care that you value and care about something different than them (low Fe), and so won't chew their words about their (often amoral) opinions about what you care, however you feel and care about it, since they don't care about being socially rejected or ostracised for it, as they don't seek that sense of belonging and neither value Soc methods of attaining such. In other words, they don't care about the consequences of their words. Sp/so IxTP will be as inconsiderate but they tend to be more careful about how they say their shits, they are less crude in their way of being an ass. They tend to use politness as a way to smooth their words, even if what they say is still really "assholish", to avoid being expulsed or rejected from groups and to not lose too many relations. I'd say they are polite asshole. Also, well, IxTPs also tend to not know if what they say is right or not, and soc won't make up for it, it just smoothes the "how" they put it, not "what" they say.

Also side note, in general, being an inconsiderate ass is just being on an unhealthy range of your personality, and low Fe just means how one is being an ass. But any type can be an inconsiderate duche lord.

So... That's the best answer I can offer as of now. The description for the enneatype x IVs could be way more detailed as it is much more complex than that. But at this point, it gives an idea of how it falls altogether.

#ask #ivs #e4 #e5 #e9 #soc #soc blind #i could make this even longer but i will overheat my mind if i do #and i have been procrastinating 6 other asks so i need to get through it some day x"D

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renjingujifortheladies · 5 years ago

Text

**update**and happy fall ;) guidelines

im going to reschedule my blog time. i will delete the app from my tablet because it makes me obsessively refresh and feel like its broken in some way. when its not.

ive been only realizing this now but i had close to 1000 subs (even tho most of them inactive or moved or personal blog who followed me once and idk stayed?) and now i have 800 something. its not the number that bothers me but the fact that these are all those nasty nude girl bot blogs... i really dont care about the number since i myself follow like 30 ppl at most

i checked the last 3 month activity and in june i had 50 reblogs on threads which is not too shabby in july i had 28 in august i had 5 (granted i was off for like two weeks) and since the beginning of september i had 9 (i also counted in the inbox replies i did)

i dont know how anyone is with it but i follow very few people and i even go back to the day before and recognize where my dash was when i went to bed. its compulsive and its bad because i get myself hyped up then i feel shit when i scroll past so many threads that has nothing to do with me. and im not about that. im about the fun and im glad others are having fun. i also remember sending out memes but dont remember to whom and how many. if it was excessive im sorry and if yall dont feel like answering just drop it and delete it. same goes for threads if you wont feel like something anymore tag me into a thread drop post and the thread and ill just like it and stop waiting on it.

and this is me saying literally that i have nothing better to do then sit and refresh when i could be (and should be tbh) doing something else. im not being negative about it but i feel like its pointless for me to reblog inbox meme compilations and the like.

it starts to feel like less as a hobby then a device to torture myself because even over extended period of time i dont get anything. and when i do its unhealthy how hyped i get about it and drop everything i do to reply.

i think about my ships even though i wait sometimes months for a thread to move forward. i dont lack in ideas and even tried to do just drabbles but i got scared of those even because i think what if the other party will think i interpret their muse in a way they wont portray and drop me completely. (i did get shit for that a long time ago)

i dont write headcanons even though i think of them often because most of my muses dont even get requested and if by some miracle i get to try them out its literally 3 notes in and never hear from the new partner again. also if i do introduce myself to new blogs i follow and ive stressed this before so many times.... if i get ignored i get pissed. i get pissed if someone follows me then i follow them back and even chat them up and they ignore me unfollow me (without my dumbass noticing because im not about the numbers) and i like their starter call because they are still on my dash and then they spat out a “mutuals only” message i loose my cool.

i love the people i regularly play with and the reason why im so hesitant to even accept new followers or follow someone when the mood strikes is exactly because im at the end of my rope here. i dont want to hate coming on here because new people ruin my experience and then my friends who actually do bomb threads with me have to deal with my sour ass because others pissed me off.

so long story short;

*dont expect me to give you more than 3 weeks waiting time to interact and get something going on if you are new, * ill come online once a week do all my replies put them into queue and maybe at the most lurk and reblog pictures tagging my partners whos ship it may concern * i wont reblog inbox one liner meme anymore. its pointless and just makes me get upset with myself. (although i will participate in tags if someone tags me) that being said my inbox is open (and empty) and everyone is welcome (yes anon is also welcome) * i wont put out and wont like starter calls. those are the things that break my spirit the most. i dont need a starter to have 3 notes in and never continued. * i WILL literally drop a thread if i write an extensive reply and get like at the maximum 3 lines of reply. that is the biggest disrespect in my book and im done making exceptions even if we are years long partners. its just rude and you can move your brain a little to write more than a paragraph. * i WILL block you if you ask for a starter and let it sit after 3 notes in because fuck you thats why.

i hope you all have a lovely day or night wherever you are , stay safe and stay hydrated. eat fruits and sleep lots. 💝

#ooc #guidelines

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lovebunnie · 6 years ago

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Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

#g0bbleb0ners #that took 90 minutes #also i got kinda real here.... :////////#whatever no one reads these things anyway

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