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greenpurplemylove · 1 year ago

Text

Blue Light (PJS)🛁

→ masterlist; part 2.

→ pairings: non idol!jay x female!reader

→ synopsis: you wanted your friend Jay as a hype man before your blind date, but what you didn’t expect was for him to reciprocate feelings for you.

→ genre: kinda smut(?) hella suggestive. so minors, y'all can just scroll pass this one😁

-> now playing: I'm Sorry We Lied, Blood Orange.

→ warnings: swearing, suggestive, making out, dirty thoughts, he gropes your tits, small mentions of masturbation and sex, possible grammatical errors, lemme know if I missed anything else! not proofread!

→ A/N: I fr made this fanfic while putting on champagne coast on loop. anyways, romance untold is such a good album fr, might be my favorite era of enha.

→ word count: 6,1k

You never really knew why you invited Jay over before your blind date.

For emotional support? Sure, yeah, definitely, but you knew there was more to it than that.

You’ve had a crush on him ever since the beginning of your friendship, there were times where you’ve tried to pursue him, but at one point you realized that maybe he only saw you as a friend, so you reluctantly gave up on that fantasy overtime.

That is until you realized that lately, there has been some semi-romantic tension between the both of you.

From catching him staring at you during the times where you hung out with your group of friends to how he would glance at you ever so often when girls would flirt with him in front of you.

At times you didn’t mind and you just gave him a teasing smile, but sometimes he’d look at you so longingly that the girl he was flirting with couldn’t help but feel offended.

The ones that no longer wanted to pursue him, started talking behind your friend group about how they think Jay has feelings for you.

The ones that still did pursue him, rolled their eyes at the mention of your name.

Initially you couldn’t help but be in denial.

Because for as long as you’ve known him, he’s always just been so casual and friendly towards you. He’d treat you like any other friend all this time, so why now? Why such gossip started spreading around now?

Although, you do recall that for the past couple of months you’ve been closer than ever. So much so that it didn’t feel like you were talking to him in a friendly manner lately.

Least to say, your relationship with him now is as complicated as ever.

So, here he was right here and now, in your apartment, leaning over your couch as he started reading one of the books he randomly picked up from your book shelves.

The tight shirt and black leather jacket he was wearing bubbled up new and old feelings.

You purposefully invited Jay over because you wanted to show him what you were going to wear to your blind date, tell him where you’re going, and what you’re going to do if the date goes well.

You wanted to see how he’d react.

You wanted to see if he’d get jealous or not.

“I didn’t know you liked Oasis” he observed the cover of the album as he read through the track list, interrupting your thoughts.

“uhm, yeah, my dad bought me that” you shook your head pointing at the vinyl he was holding, he raised his eyebrows pouting his lips before putting it back on the shelves.

“Anyways” you interrupted making him turn around to look at you still in your sweatpants and blue shirt.

“I need your help” you stated putting your hands on your hips.

“I know, you texted me about it” he replied nonchalantly,

“what do you need my help with?” he offered as he stood up, taking off his jacket and putting it on your jacket stand. His toned arm muscles made your heart run laps all over your body.

“I need your help picking out my outfit” you replied your eyes shifting back to look at his face, in hopes that your eyes don’t drift to his arms again.

“That’s it?” he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Well no, I also need some dating advice, knowing you get around” your comment made him snarky, he didn’t remember dating that much women in his life to make you fell under the impression that he was promiscuous.

“I don’t get around y/n, I’ve never even dated that many people” he crossed his arms smirking at you as he leaned against the partition wall between your kitchen and your living room.

“Really?” you sassed raising an eyebrow at him, “what about that time when you-” you went on as you started mentioning the names of all the people he has dated ever since you’ve been friends, which wasn’t much compared to some of your friends, but it was definitely a noticeable amount.

“And not to mention all the other ones you practically flirted in front of me” he couldn’t help but feel sour at the mention of all those names.

Yes, he did have feelings for all those women that have been in his life. But, it wasn’t until he realized that all the women he’s ever dated in college, always either had something in common or is the complete opposite of you.

It was then he realized that all this time, that was his way of suppressing his feelings towards you. As for the girls he had flirted with in front of you, though that occasion rarely happened in his opinion.

He somehow knew he wanted to catch your attention, in hopes that you’d feel jealous and would want to start pursuing him.

Which he knows is incredibly immature of himself, but somehow he’d still fall into the same guilt, repeating his mistakes again just for the sake of getting you to chase him back.

Before today, he had wanted to forever bury any desire left in him for you, to just continue being friends.

But, it wasn’t until today you texted that you wanted to see him.

He thought that maybe you wanted to talk about something.

Maybe, you wanted to talk how you truly felt about him.

But, later he dug his own grave when you said that you needed his help for your upcoming blind date.

Through it all, he still had questions in his head. Why him? Why only him? You could’ve at least ask your girl friends to help you out, but why him?

Those questions sparked a little hope in him, a little hope that he has a chance to actually make you fall for him. Though the chances were slim to none, he was still willing to take it.

“Ok, but still those aren’t considered many, if you compared me with other people in our friend group” he snapped back into reality as he sees you thinking for a moment.

Tucking your hair behind your ear.

“You have a point” you acknowledged before going back to your closet, picking out clothes from your closet for an afternoon date in the park.

“Hey, let’s say if you were going on a park date with a girl you’ve never met before, would you find her more attractive in a dress or in jeans and a plain top?” you asked lifting the two options on either side of your arms.

For a moment in his head he imagined how you looked good in both, but he was leaning more on to the dress.

He had fantasized the both of you laid out a carpet in the park, with you wearing that pretty dress you were holding and you smiling up at him as you caressed his hair.

“Well, I’m not really the one going on the date” he put his hands inside his pockets, “plus, you’ve never really met the guy in real life, how would you know he’s not some creep?” he added.

“Well, I’ve seen his pictures ok? He doesn’t look creepy at all” you tilted your head before walking towards your bathroom and shutting the door behind you.

“Looks can deceive, you know that right?” he half shouted from across the room as he plopped down on her couch, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

A few moments later, you came out of the bathroom with your first outfit, your jeans were rather baggy and low waisted, showing a little bit of your midriff and your top was just a plain white top that fitted your upper body just the way you liked it.

Jay couldn’t help but stare in awe as you walked towards your floor length mirror, greeted by the dimples on your back, he turned away rather shyly as he rubbed his thighs, trying desperately to relax.

“So” you spoke turning around to face him, “do you think this will do?” you asked as you fidgeted your fingers.

“Uhm” he stared for a moment, not knowing what to say.

You had already looked flawless to him, so there was not much to be said other than to utter perfection. Which he was too proud to say in front of you.

“It looks, nice” seeing his response felt a bit lackluster, you furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head as a reaction, flashing him a lopsided smile. He noticed your reaction and opened his mouth in response.

“It looks great, y-you look great”

shit

He mentally face palmed himself for stuttering.

“But, why don’t you try on that dress first, you know, uhm, for safe measurements?” he suggested trying to save himself from further embarrassing himself.

“uhm, ok sure, yeah” you responded smirking at him from his odd respond before going back to the bathroom and shutting the door behind you.

Moments later you came out with a short dress that you thought complemented your figure and complexion.

The low cut revealed your cleavage in a flattering way and the hem of the dress accentuated your figure, or at least the parts that you purposefully wanted to accentuate.

“How about this one?” you pinched the edges of the dress, giving a small twirl at the end, you looked up from your dress to look at his face, his mouth was opened, eyes stunned, ears red and body frozen.

His reaction made your heart skip a couple of beats.

For a second you thought he was having a stroke, but now you could only stand there stiff waiting for him to say something back.

“Uhm, t-to be honest, I think the j-jeans and top one was better” he responded swallowing a spit down his throat, covering his coughs with his elbow. The blush from his cheeks peaking out of his elbows.

You could tell he was just using coughs as a gimmick to hide his blush.

Which is exactly what he was doing. His heart was running laps around his body, thumping hard at the sight of you wearing a dress that made you look impossibly hotter than you did before.

At that moment, if he could get down on his knees to worship you. He would do so voluntarily.

His possessive side definitely got the best of him after seeing you in a dress. He knew you weren’t his, but he knew that he’d rather put a gun to his head than see you dressed like that for another guy, let alone a guy you’ve never met.

Especially, not with the way that dress was revealing your breasts, it had him riled up in his seat almost instantaneously.

You sighed and rolled your eyes at his actions before going back to the bathroom and changing back to your jeans and top before laying down beside him on your couch. He instantly swung his arm over your head to lay it behind your figure on the back of the sofa.

“Better?” you smirked, batting your lashes at him. For a moment he stared at you in silence before he nodded, flashing a smirk at you before he shyly looked away to see your book shelves and vinyl player from across the room.

“You wanna play a little music to maybe help you get ready?” he suddenly got up from the couch reaching for your vinyl cabinet, leaving you feeling a little disappointed.

“Yeah, sure definitely” you said readjusted yourself on the couch.

“When’s your date coming anyways?” he asked browsing through your vinyls.

“In 4 hours give or take” you stood up from your seat and squatted down next to him, opening the glass cabinet.

He turned to you, wide eyed and eyebrows furrowed as he watches you tuck the strands of your hair to the back of your ear, your eyes latching onto the glass cabinet, concentrated in picking the right vinyl to set the mood.

“You’re kidding? That’ll still be awhile, why’d you even invited me anyways?” He sat down on the floor and folded his leg, using it as an arm rest. His eyes followed your figure as you placed your vinyl on your coffee table.

There was a few moments of comfortable silence, followed by an ever so small romantic tension between the both of you that quickly filled your apartment to the brim before you opened your mouth.

“I wanted you to be here” you spoke truthfully, flashing him a nervous smile feeling your blood rush up to your cheeks as your body starts to tense at the feeling of his eyes on you.

You looked at him for some time and you’d notice how his mouth is just hanged opened a little, eyes dazed, ears red, the words struggled to slip out from his mouth as he swallowed his own spit.

Does he, actually like me back?

You thought to yourself, turning away, feeling your cheeks heat up more and more at the thought.

“Is Blood Orange ok?” you suddenly switched the topic, in hopes that it would calm down the butterflies you had in your stomach as you walked towards the cables, struggling to plug in your vinyl player.

Jay wasted no time to get up and help you set up, resulting in his hand brushing over yours. Ever so slightly, but it triggered a reaction so big inside you, you felt like you could just melt right then and there.

Not so long after you put the vinyl in place and set it all up, the first song of the track began to play. The music filling in the silence that once roamed your apartment.

“Thanks by the way” you spoke standing up and putting your hands in your back pockets.

“No problem” Jay got up, dusting his arms off.

For a moment, there was this valley of awkward silence in between the both of you. The music in the background could only cover such little awkwardness.

His hands were in his pockets and yours were on your hips. You nodded for no reason trying your absolute best to avoid eye contact with him and vice versa.

Jay clicked his tongue making you turn to face him, he was pointing at the bathroom door behind him before rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“I need to use the bathroom by the way” he glanced at the bathroom door, putting his hands in his pockets flashing you a small smile.

“Uhm, sure, yeah, sure thing, no pro, eughm problem” you coughed in the middle of your sentence as you turned around, trying to find something to busy yourself with as you waited.

The sound of the bathroom door creaking opened and the toilet flushing made you turn your head, turning your gaze from your book to Jay.

“I’m gonna go do my makeup now” you purposefully brushed against him as you strutted to the bathroom, leaving him to turn his head to you.

Following your figure as you opened the bathroom door, for a moment it left him breathless, but for the next moment, it made him contemplate.

Your apartment wasn’t a crowded space, since there was only the two of you in your whole apartment. Yet, you still decided to brush against him as if you were in a room full of people.

Was it possible that you wanted him back?

Or, was that just your way of teasing him?

He plopped down on your couch and grabbed the book you read earlier on, eyeing it curiously.

The Summer I Turned Pretty.

I think I saw this once on prime.

He thought, as he examined the covers and fidgeted with the pages.

“Hey, isn’t this a television show?” he asked holding up the book, making you turn around after pumping moisturizer into your hands.

“oh yeah it is, it’s on prime” you responded before going back to face the mirror, dotting your moisturizer on to your face.

“why not just watch the show?” he asked raising his shoulders looking at you.

“I did, and they said there were a few differences between the book and the show” you spoke as you fanned yourself.

“what difference does it make?” he mumbled to himself as he started reading the first page, eyebrows furrowed and lips pouted in concentration.

The music filled in the void of silence in between the both of you, as you mouthed the lyrics, moving your shoulders to the beat as you waited for your concealer to set.

After Jay was about a chapter in, he closed the book. Not that it was boring or anything, he just wasn’t interested in where the story was going.

He leaned his head back on the couch, stretching his arms on either side feeling the music take over his mind.

For a moment he recalled all the moments he had looked at the same ceiling.

The house warming party you had at your second year of uni and how gorgeous you looked wearing that sparkly dress as you danced to the beat of the house music playing in the background.

The time you let him and his two friends sleep here when they got black out drunk at a nearby sports bar after his favorite soccer team won a rematch.

He remembered how you made him a hangover drink the morning after that worked like a charm, that he now makes it every time he goes back to his apartment hammered after a party or a gathering.

Or the many times he studied for his finals or midterms in your apartment. You were always willing to lend him a hand, that at times he worries that you were neglecting your work just to do his.

He liked spending time with you, wether inside or outside your apartment.

He liked how your humors clicked with each other.

He liked how the both of you seemingly development the same habits overtime, wether good or bad.

He liked how you’re always concentrated in your studies, but you never gate keep things and that you’re always willing to help out others when in need.

He liked how though you were seemingly cold to approach at first, you soon melted into this kind and warm personality.

He liked how warm you smiled and greeted other people, though you’ve only talked to them once or twice.

He liked the seemingly bad habits you’d always mention, but to him they seem adorable.

He liked how when you flirt, your voice always go in this specific tone of voice that has him on the edge of his seat.

He liked how your hair shined under the sunlight.

He liked the way you smile and curl your lips.

He liked you.

Eventually, his mind traced back to the party he had celebrated in Sunghoon’s house a few months ago, it wasn’t a big party and only both your friend group came.

You were very drunk and he could tell from your expression.

He didn’t know what had happened, but somehow suddenly, you took him upstairs to the second floor.

Dragging him by the hand.

He didn’t know if you were aware of what you were doing, but all of a sudden you straddled him on his lap on top of a couch.

Your face flushed red, smiling and giggling like a mad man.

“You know I’ve always had a crush on you Jay” your sultry seductive voice replayed in his head.

“But, do you like me? Please, please tell me you like me back” you asked with your half lidded eyes as you wrapped your hands around his neck, your face was inches from his.

He did like you, he had liked you ever since he saw you walking down the hallways for the first time.

A little regret lingered down his throat as he had wish he hadn’t cast his feelings aside in order to not damage your friendship.

If he hadn’t cast those feelings aside all this time, he could only imagine the things you’d be doing right then at that very moment.

But, he couldn’t blame himself after all. It was all in the past.

He recalled her pouting in disappointment as she was met with silence at the time, so she nuzzled her face on to the crook of his neck. Her nose rubbing against the bottom of his ear making his slacks grow tighter.

The way her legs were positioned didn’t make it any easier for him either.

He didn’t know where the sudden surge of confidence came to be, was it the alcohol or the atmosphere at that time, but he couldn’t care less anymore as he cupped your cheek making you look at him in wonder.

Your eyes were a daze, looking into him deeply as your face were centimeters from each other. He turned your head to the side as he closed his eyes and took your lips in his.

He felt that you embraced him closer as you pressed your lips deeper against him.

His hands moved from your cheek to your waist, gripping them tight making you moan into his mouth. Making his dick grow harder in his pants.

Your lips crashed passionately into each other, pulling back and forth like a mind game as you laced your fingers in his hair, making him groan.

He started rubbing the sides of your body as he licked the bottom of your lip, asking for permission to which you happily gave in to.

You opened your mouth and he slipped his tongue in. It felt like heaven to him when your tongues clashed into each other.

Your lips, your kiss and your tongue. God, your tongue. Felt so good and hypnotizing, tangled with each other.

His hands would switch between your cheeks and your waist to gently give you assurance every time.

He trailed kisses from your lips to your ear and eventually to your neck, making you lean your head back, giving him more space to roam with his mouth.

Your sighs grew louder as he started kissing a certain spot on your neck. He took it as a sign that, that was your weak spot. Before he started gently sucking on it making you moan quietly under your breath.

He didn’t expect your next bold move, but it made him incredibly harder than he was already. You took one of his hands that was on your waist and you slipped it under your shirt to the point where his fingertips were right under your bra.

He didn’t think you’d stop there, because you had stopped for a moment, he just continued kissing and sucking on your weak spots.

But, his mouth was left opened when he felt his hand that was under your shirt, was being lifted up your bra as your hand guided him to do so.

He was now gently massaging your bare breast as it made you moan and leaned your head back.

“Please Jay” you moaned his name.

Driving him insane as you grind on his clothed shaft, making him lean his head back in pleasure as you continuously moaned his name.

You were a sight to behold.

His hand was gently massaging your breasts, revealing your beautiful bare skin from your stomach up. Eyes shut and mouth opened in pleasure, as you slowly grind up on him.

It was his first time he had ever seen you like this.

Needy for him only.

He can never let go of that image from his head.

He was in heaven.

But, he would never forgive whoever came into the room, interrupting such a precious moment with you, making the both of you instantly panic to hide and cover yourselves.

Your face on his lap at that moment became his weekly masturbation material.

Making him tight in his pants whenever he remembers it or whenever the side of your body was pressed up against his.

It drove him almost insane, when he found out you didn’t remember a thing from that night.

He snapped back into reality when he heard you hummed a long to the record playing from the bathroom.

His eyes looked at your back as you brushed your face with whatever you were wearing on your face.

A spike of confidence ran through him as he got up from his chair and walked up towards you.

He didn’t know why he got up, maybe he was stupid. Maybe he is being stupid.

But, he was stupid enough to wanna be near you, knowing fully well he might mess it up.

The last song of the album replayed for the third time today in the background as you curled your lashes, before turning around to see him standing on the doorframe of your bathroom.

“Hey” you greeted as he smirked at you, before walking closer till he was eventually standing right beside you.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked as he examined the makeup products that was in front of him.

He mentally cringed at himself for letting such a cheesy line slip from his mouth.

“Well, my makeup, but right now I’m doing the finishing touches, so what’s up?” you asked as you put on your mascara.

“You know, you asked me to come here to give you some dating advice, but you know what I’ve realized?” he asked invoking her curiosity.

“Go on” you replied putting down your mascara, turning your body to the side to look at him.

“You’ve never once asked me about a dating advice” he furrowed his eyebrows.

Your smile faded and your eyes widen at the realization.

Gotcha.

He thought.

“Well, I did tell you, I wanted you to be here” you spoke but his eyes soften, as if he knew you were already hiding your real reason.

“You could’ve had anybody else here y/n, why me? Out of all the people” he asked as he crossed his arms, leaning back on the counter.

“I-” there was a wave of silence between the both of you as you looked away, bitting your bottom lip.

You were contemplating, the tension in the bathroom was almost too much for you to shrug it off.

You wanted to tell him the truth, but you were scared that Jay wasn’t actually that interested in you and that he just wanted to be friends.

But, by his body language and demeanor through out the whole time you’ve been here, said other wise.

Fuck it.

“Can I ask you something?” he suddenly asked interrupting your thoughts.

“Sure, sure anything” you responded putting your hands in your pockets.

“That night at Sunghoon’s party, was it true when you said that you didn’t remember a thing?” he asked as his eyes widen in curiosity.

Your heart was beating so fast and you felt your cheeks blush remembering what had happened.

It was clear you didn’t remember everything, but you remembered some parts that you had with him.

You looked up at him and you can see the hope and glimmer in his eyes, whatever answer he wanted. You couldn’t take the underlying tension between the both of you anymore, you knew you had to tell the truth.

Wether it be a rejection or he does actually like you back, you wanted to let go of the burden of feeling like you had to play pretend all this time.

You shook your head as a rebuttal, looking away, cheeks red from embarrassment.

The way you made out with him and the way you let him fondled your breasts like that, made you feel hot.

Especially at this moment, since he was now standing so close to you.

He swallowed his spit before opening his mouth.

“What did you actually remember?” he asked.

You swallowed a spit as you find yourself leaning dangerously close to him, bitting your lips, thinking about how you should say it.

“I remember what I said a couple of times, and the fact that we made out” you mentioned the last few words in a whisper.

He bit the bottom of his lip, containing his smile.

He adjusted his height to match where he was now standing face-to-face with you.

His smirk teasing you as you tried so desperately to avoid his eyes on you.

Causing butterflies to form in your stomach.

“And-” your words were cut off when you realized how close his lips were to yours, when his hands gently snaked on to your waist making you gasp quietly.

Your hands landed on his clothed chest almost instantly.

Your eyes never broke contact from each other as if the sexual tension between the both of you wasn’t already overwhelming.

He leaned forward, feeling his breath so close to your ear.

You sighed as you closed your eyes, the feeling becoming a little too much.

“Go on” he whispered as he closed his eyes, smirking in a sultry manner that sparked a fire in you.

“I don’t wanna say it” you turned away shyly, hearts beating fast, face as red as a tomato, too embarrassed to admit the act you did while you were both intoxicated.

His eyes soften and he sighed, smiling at you softly.

“That’s ok” he spoke as he rubbed your waist, comforting you in his touch.

The silence between the both of you know felt comfortable, the sexual tension was definitely still there.

But, it made you feel glad that you didn’t have to admit what you were uncomfortable to admit with him and it made you glad that he felt the same way, at least by the way he was responding to you.

“But, do you wanna do it again?” he whispered in your ear, making you giggle as he did the same.

“Yes, please” you nodded as he smiled at you, carefully setting aside your makeup from the counter.

He picked you up by your waist from the floor making you chuckle before putting you on top of your sink counter.

He smiled at you as he leaned his head to the side, his hands were on your waist and his lips were merely inches apart from yours as he waited for you to come back down from laughing.

You smiled at him, latching your arms on to his broad shoulders before pulling him in closer until his lips met yours.

His other hand cupped your cheek as he leaned in closer, deepening the kiss as his heart was thumping out of his chest.

Though very little words could convey what they felt at that moment. Their kiss was filled with all the longing and love, any lovers could ever offer.

Your hand went up the back of his neck, slowly caressing his jet black hair. He let out a groan as he momentarily pulled away from your lips before latching on again shortly, angling his head in a different way, deepening the kiss further, completely drunk on your lips.

He opened his mouth and you used this as an opportunity to slid in your tongue. Making him sigh as you finally did.

Your tongues were tangled in each other as the kiss grew impossibly deeper. The passion running through your veins as the both of you went on.

His hand that was on your cheek moved to the back of your neck as he slowly tugged at your hair, gently leaning your head to the side as he started trailing kisses from your jawline to your neck ever so softly.

“Jay” you moaned his name as he started gently sucking on your weak spots.

Your hands started caressing his body as his lips moved to the bottom of your neck, gently kissing and sucking.

Your mouth opened slightly and your eyes closed shut as the feeling of pleasure took over your body.

“God, y/n” he moaned at how good it felt when you caressed him.

He pulled away from you softly, you sighed in complaint at the loss of his lips on your neck.

His breath was heavy and so was yours as he pressed his forehead against yours, eyeing you.

Your flushed face, eyes shut, and heavy breathing. Made his heart race and his mind hazy.

Soon later, you sighed as you stared at his lips. Wanting more of it.

Like clockwork, he knew what you wanted and smiled at how adorable you looked, wanting nothing but his lips on yours again.

He smiled into the kiss as you did the same. This time the kiss was softer, but soon grew insatiable as you clung onto his shoulders and he was pulling you closer till your clothed chest was pressed against his.

Soon, his lips were back on your neck and he pulled your collar to the side as he trailed kisses on your collarbone, gently nibbling and bitting as you leaned your head back against the mirror, letting out a moan from the pleasure of it all.

Jay’s pants grew tighter as you both went on, with the way you were moaning his name it turned him on unlike any other girl he’s ever slept with.

Suddenly, you heard your phone ringing from across the counter, making you snap back onto reality.

Jay stopped abruptly, glancing at you as you picked up your phone.

Your eyes widen at the name that popped up on your screen.

“Shit, it’s my date” you cursed as he sighed, turning away in disappointment.

“He isn’t suppose to be here for another hour, right?” Jay asked, checking his wrist watch as he did so.

“I know” you responded before picking up the call.

“Heyy” you greeted, faking a smile even though the person on the other end of the line can’t see you in person.

Your blind date asked if you still wanted to go on that date.

“Well uhm” you glanced at Jay, who raised his eyebrows at you.

“Actually, I’m really sorry, I can’t go on a date with you” Jay’s eyes widen at your words.

“I have other plans as it turns out” you followed as you smiled at him, bitting your lip as you looked away.

He could’ve sworn he felt butterflies swarming up his stomach.

“Sure, sure, thanks so much for understanding, ok, ok thanks, bye” that’s all you said before you hung up the phone.

He let out a small chuckle at what just happened.

“You dumped your date for me?” he smiled teasingly, raising his eyebrows at you as he held on to the counter.

“Great guy, but honestly wasn’t really that interested in him anyways” you smiled confidently making him chuckle at you.

You sat there just smiling at each other, a wave of comfortable silence blended with the music in the background as it repeats its first song track for the fifth time today.

“So,” he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, making you blush and smile at his cheeky behavior.

“What do we do now?” he asked as his face was merely inches from yours.

“Can I be honest?” he nodded at your question as he placed small kisses all over your neck making you sigh under your breath.

“I spent almost an hour doing my makeup, honestly I think it’ll be a waste of my efforts if we were to have sex right now” you stated as he pulled away, eyes widen surprised at your straightforward respond.

He snorted, smirking. Even after all this time he had known you, you still managed to surprise him.

“Ok then, what do you want to do instead?” he asked as he smiled at you softly.

“I’m thinking” you played with his hair, making him blush and smile up at you.

“A drive? Maybe some, dinner?” he raised his eyebrows at you as he smirked.

“Sure thing.”

#enhypen #enhypen fanfiction #jay x reader #park jongseong #park jongseong x reader #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen jay #enhypen scenarios #kpop #kpop fanfic #enha x reader #enha #enha jay #kpop scenarios #jay enhypen #jay enhypen x reader #suggestive #jay hard thoughts

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taegularities · 3 months ago

Text

from sparks to fire to ashes to a breeze… 👑

candles & flames: breeze 🤍

dropping Sunday, May 4th, around 6-7pm EST. editing, so if it takes longer, i'll postpone by a day or two!

it's going to be around 25k long, but y'all know me – might end up with more, but let's see :D we're 2 scenes in (from around 8) and already at 5k-ish. around 20k long!!! take your time reading it, but please don't forget to give it lots of love once you're done. since we're saying goodbye to them, it'd mean the world <3

this has been on the schedule for so long!! thank you for missing and loving them!! once it drops, and even before then, please hype it up a lot – life has been insane lately and there is a ton to do; so i'd love and need to know that the effort i'm putting into c&f is really worth it and that you guys are around.

if i feel like you aren't, i'll probably shift my focus off again and might have to keep the story stored in my brain bc it's a lot of work, y'all already know :') but i am hopeful you'll come through. 🥺 and i hope the wait's worth it, as always.

this is the last (bonus) chapter <3 see you then 🤍

teaser under the cut! 💕 let's talk about it :]

–

Jungkook plumps down on the carpet, knees pulled in and arms around them. He tilts his head with a tender smile, chest rising before he asks, “Did you have time to think about it? Going home?”

You remember a time not too long ago when you’d sit here like this, too; despite the couch in the back, you’d play with the twins and Hana right here, on this warm carpet, and Jungkook would join after work. You’d place your head on his shoulder and whisper-converse with him.

Sometimes, you’d fall asleep and wake up in his arms, in your bed, with the children secured in theirs. You never needed proof for how gentle Jungkook handles you — but if he could carry you into your room like a feather without disturbing a moment of your sleep, you were at utter peace, right?

He did that to you. He still does; his presence calms you, though it stirs your heart, too.

You want to put your head on his chest again, slumber there. Instead, you nod and say, “I did, yes.”

“And?”

“Hana wants to go.”

His eyes move to the side, down to the floor, then back to you as he tries again, “And what about you?”

You shrug a little. “Can I really refuse my daughter’s wish?”

He moves closer; a very small distance, but noticeable to you. His eyes are intense as he emphasises, “What’s your wish, love?”

Yours? You have a lot of wishes.

Whispered upon falling stars and eyelashes. You can’t utter most of them now, though, can you? But maybe you should. Maybe, rather than the universe, it could be him granting you what you desire.

He can read your thoughts anyway. Because he encourages, “You can share your mind with me. I’m your husband, baby.”

You nod; let something in you break and break until your fingers move, up to one of his knees. He immediately puts a palm onto your digits, holds onto you as you say, “You are.”

“Only yours.”

You inhale deeply. The tears are less these days, but never truly gone. You blink before they can reemerge, quickly adding, “I will go if you want to go. Your wish is my wish.”

“It is?”

“Of course. I am yours, too.”

A rosy colour dusts his cheeks, as if he’s falling in love anew. But his gaze betrays him; still sad when he wonders, “Then… Can I say something very kitschy?”

You feel yourself melt just a little. A hint of a smile graces your face. “Always.”

“My wish is… that I want you back.” He drops his head the moment your heart sinks, too. Even from here, you see the damp waterline. “I want you to be mine the way you were. I wish to give you the same joy I used to. I just…” His voice shakes. “I need my girl back so badly.”

And then, another whisper, stuck in a loop, “I miss you.”

You nod again, tell him, “I know.” Because if you said anything more, you’d cry. You know you would.

He looks up at you, the rims of his eyes red, big eyes trapping the tears in. He sniffles; closes his lids, as if preparing for something. And then asks—

“Do you still love me?”

Do you?

Does he truly need to ask?

His presence still calms you, though it stirs your heart, too.

–

we'll be back <3

#let's get it one last time y'all!!!!#fic: candles & flames #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff

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levandright · 7 months ago

Text

And oh, how I'd love to go Paris again

pairing : jake x f!reader ୨ৎ content / warning(s) : non-idol au, love at first sight, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers(not stated but heavily implied), tension, they're in love your honor, fate reference/mention, can be read as either hs or uni au its up to you ୨ৎ word count : 5.9k

synopsis. you're overwhelmed with your school finals close by, while you are taking a short break from your studying, you couldn't help but reminisce about your precious memories in the city of love when a song that reminds you of your time in paris play. ୨ৎ lev notes : the class trip may not be 100% accurate but its for the plot okay... i had to make it inspired by the 1975 cause i love them too much not to do so + it fits with how i literally have them as my top artist this year :3 (i started writing this days earlier before spotify wrapped lol) also i literally had paris on loop for like 7 hours in total while writing this... anyways hope y'all like this cause it took a lot of brain power to write it, trust i will post what the heart wants as soon as i finish a surprise fic im working on rn ꒰⠀for @sugarikiz event 'ʏᴏᴜʀ ℰ𝓎ℯ𝓈 ᴏɴʟʏ ☁︎.𖥔 ' ꒱

you're at your school's library, cramming for your upcoming finals. with a little over a week to prepare for months' worth of lessons across multiple subjects, the pressure is taking quite a toll on you. two cups of coffee sit beside your laptop, one already empty. even though you've been studying for less than 40 minutes, you already feel the urge to down all the caffeine left in front of you just to keep from dozing off again.

sigh, 'just gotta finish this whole powerpoint. then, i can finally relax for a bit' you silently hype yourself out. with the reward of a break for an hour of studying, you quickly go through the entire lesson in a flash.

grabbing the not empty cup of coffee, you take a much needed sip to keep yourself awake for more hours of studying.

a while later, you're stretching in your seat after having finished with that specific powerpoint. 'finally i can take a break' you think to yourself

as you sit, and stare at your laptop's screen. contimplating on what to do to pass time, you decide to play music to relax yourself.

clicking the shuffle button on your playlist. you put your headphones on and rest your head on your arms, as the familiar tune of paris by the 1975 play.

the music pulls you into a memory, that unforgettable class trip to paris.

꒰ and oh, how i'd love to go paris again ꒱

you’re on the bus, the city outside the window slowly coming to life. everyone in your class is chatting excitedly, pointing out landmarks and planning what to do when you finally get off. the eiffel tower is getting closer, its towering frame making your heart race with excitement.

“can you believe we’re actually here?” keeho says, leaning over to nudge your shoulder. his energy is infectious, and you can’t help but smile.

hyunjin, sitting across the aisle, snaps a quick photo through the window. “this already feels unreal,” he says, grinning. “i’m going to fill my camera roll today.”

the bus comes to a stop, and your teacher announces a short break to explore the area. the three of you quickly stick together as everyone spills out onto the cobblestone street. paris feels alive—the air smells like fresh bread and coffee, and the chatter of locals blends with the hum of passing cars.

“we need food. let’s find a café!” keeho declares, already marching toward a row of cozy-looking places with outdoor seating.

you follow, laughing as hyunjin drags you by the wrist to keep up. he’s scanning every building, taking quick snapshots of anything that catches his eye. “wait, stand here,” he says suddenly, pulling out his phone to snap a candid photo of you and keeho in front of a flower shop.

“are you going to take pictures the whole trip?” you tease.

“obviously,” hyunjin replies, unbothered. “someone has to document how good we look in paris.”

eventually, the three of you settle at a small café. the waiter brings over menus, and you all take a moment to soak it all in. keeho orders a slice of cake, hyunjin gets a croissant and coffee, and you decide on a simple baguette sandwich.

“okay, this is officially the best food i’ve ever had,” keeho says after his first bite.

“it’s just cake,” hyunjin says, rolling his eyes but stealing a forkful anyway.

you laugh as they bicker, feeling a warmth settle in your chest. sitting there with your best friends, surrounded by the magic of paris, everything feels perfect.

after finishing your meals, you and your friends head back to the bus to regroup with your class. the energy is buzzing as everyone talks about their plans for the rest of the day. your teacher announces that the next stop is a famous museum nearby.

the museum is grand, with high ceilings and beautiful architecture that makes you feel small in the best way. inside, it’s quieter, with your classmates dispersing into smaller groups.

hyunjin immediately pulls out his camera again. “this lighting is perfect,” he mutters, snapping a photo of a sculpture in the corner.

keeho rolls his eyes with a smirk. “he’s gonna be like this the whole time.”

“he’s consistent, at least,” you joke, earning a laugh from keeho as the two of you start wandering through the exhibits together.

the artwork is stunning—paintings that feel alive, sculptures that seem to breathe. you and keeho take your time strolling through the halls, sharing your thoughts on each piece.

“i don’t get this one,” keeho says, staring at an abstract painting.

“it’s open to interpretation,” you reply.

“so… the artist spilled paint everywhere?”

you nudge his arm. “be serious!”

keeho grins but then glances around. “hey, i’m gonna find the bathroom real quick. don’t get lost.”

“sure, sure,” you say, waving him off.

as he walks away, you wander aimlessly, letting your feet carry you through the museum’s winding halls. you stop to admire a large painting of a serene countryside when, out of nowhere, you bump into someone.

“oh, i’m so sorry!” you blurt out, taking a step back.

the stranger turns to you, and your words catch in your throat. he’s tall, with warm eyes and a gentle smile. his presence feels calm, yet somehow magnetic.

“no worries,” he says, his voice warm and calm, with a hint of an australian accent you catch right away. “are you okay?”

you nod quickly, feeling your cheeks heat up. “y-yeah, i wasn’t looking where i was going.”

he chuckles lightly, brushing it off. “happens to the best of us.”

he pauses for a moment, as if waiting to see if you’ll say anything else. you manage a small smile. “thanks for being so nice about it. i’m—uh…” before you can finish, keeho’s voice rings out from somewhere nearby.

“hey, y/n! where’d you go?”

the spell is broken, and you glance over your shoulder to see keeho waving at you. turning back to the stranger, you offer an apologetic smile. “that’s my friend. i should go.”

“of course,” he says, still smiling. “take care.”

you hurry off toward keeho, your heart still racing. as you rejoin your friends, you glance back briefly to see the stranger walking away. something about the moment lingers, a small spark you can’t quite explain.

after regrouping with keeho and hyunjin, the three of you continue exploring the museum. hyunjin has finally tucked his camera away, much to keeho’s relief.

“didn’t think i’d ever see the day you’d stop taking pictures,” keeho teases.

“i’m just saving space for later,” hyunjin retorts, grinning. “besides, i want to actually enjoy this.”

the three of you move through the museum, pausing at different exhibits. keeho offers more of his hilarious “critiques,” while hyunjin points out details you might’ve missed. for a while, it feels like time doesn’t exist, just the three of you soaking in the beauty of parisian art.

after some time, you excuse yourself to find the restroom. as you leave, keeho calls after you, “don’t get lost again!”

“i won’t!” you call back with a laugh, shaking your head.

once you step out of the restroom, you turn a corner and nearly bump into someone again.

“oh—sorry!” you start, looking up. and there he is.

the boy from earlier.

“you again,” he says with a warm smile, his eyes lighting up with recognition.

“yeah, me again,” you reply, feeling your face heat up.

“i guess we’re just destined to keep running into each other,” he jokes, his tone light and teasing.

you laugh softly. “seems like it. i never got your name earlier.”

“jake,” he says, extending his hand. “and you?”

“y/n,” you say, shaking his hand. his grip is gentle but firm, and you feel your heart skip a beat.

“nice to officially meet you, y/n,” jake says, his smile widening.

the two of you start chatting, the conversation flowing easily. he tells you he’s here with his own group, visiting from another school all the way from australia, and you share a little about your own trip. his voice is calm and steady, and his subtle humor keeps making you giggle.

at one point, he gestures toward a nearby painting. “what do you think of this one? please don’t say the artist spilled paint everywhere.”

you burst into laughter, shaking your head. “no, no, that’s keeho’s specialty. i actually think it’s kind of beautiful, in a chaotic way.”

“good answer,” jake says, grinning.

before you know it, the sound of footsteps and familiar voices echo down the hall. “y/n! where are you?” keeho calls, his voice unmistakable.

you glance in the direction of the sound, then back at jake, your smile faltering slightly. “that’s my friends. i should go.”

jake nods, his expression soft. “of course. it was nice talking to you, y/n.”

“you too, jake,” you say, stepping away reluctantly. as you walk toward your friends, you can’t help but glance back once. jake is still standing there, giving you a small wave.

you rejoin keeho and hyunjin, who immediately start teasing you for taking so long. but as the three of you continue exploring the museum, you can’t stop thinking about jake. and though you don’t say it out loud, you quietly hope that fate will bring you together again.

it’s been a day since the museum, but your thoughts keep circling back to jake. his kind smile, the way he made you laugh, and that unmistakable australian accent—it’s all stuck in your head.

after dinner with your classmates at the hotel, the buzz of chatter feels overwhelming. you decide to step outside for some fresh air, hoping a quiet walk will help clear your mind.

the streets of paris are calmer at this hour, bathed in a soft, golden glow from the streetlights. a small park just down the road catches your eye, and you wander toward it, settling onto a bench beneath a tree.

you sit there for a while, letting your thoughts drift. the cool breeze carries the faint scent of flowers, and the distant hum of city life feels oddly soothing.

suddenly, you feel someone sit down beside you. you glance over, and your heart skips a beat.

it’s him.

jake.

the boy you couldn’t stop thinking about.

he notices your surprise and gives you that same warm smile. “hey,” he says casually. “fancy seeing you here.”

you blink, struggling to process the coincidence. “jake? what are you doing here?”

“could ask you the same thing,” he says with a light chuckle, leaning back against the bench. “i was out for a walk, saw this park, and thought i’d sit for a bit. didn’t expect to run into you again.”

you laugh softly, shaking your head. “paris must be smaller than we think.”

“or fate has a funny way of working,” he says, his tone teasing but his eyes sincere.

the conversation flows naturally from there. he asks about your class trip, and you tell him about your visit to the museum and all the places your group plans to see next. he shares stories about his own class, laughing about his friends’ antics and the moments that make the trip memorable.

“you’re telling me someone actually fell asleep in front of the mona lisa?” you ask, barely holding back laughter.

“yup. full-on snoring,” jake replies, grinning. “the security guard didn’t know whether to wake him or leave him there.”

the two of you laugh together, the sound blending into the quiet of the park.

after a while, jake stands up. “wait here,” he says, his tone playful but mysterious.

“where are you going?” you ask, watching him walk toward a nearby food stand.

“you’ll see,” he calls back over his shoulder.

a few minutes later, he returns, holding two neatly wrapped chocolate crepes. he hands one to you with a grin. “figured this would make the moment even better.”

you take it, smiling at his thoughtfulness. “thanks, jake. this is perfect.”

as you both sit there, enjoying the crepes and chatting under the parisian sky, you can’t help but feel like this moment is something straight out of a dream.

the days in paris pass like a blur, filled with sightseeing, laughter, and the magic of simply being in the city. but the most unexpected highlight of your trip that osn’t on the schedule—is jake.

you can’t quite explain it, but somehow, you keep running into him. these little moments have become the thing you secretly look forward to the most.

────୨ৎ────

you’re standing at the counter of a small café, debating between ordering a croissant or a pain au chocolat. the decision feels monumental, and you’re entirely lost in thought when a voice interrupts you.

“go for the pain au chocolat,” jake says, appearing beside you with an easy smile.

you blink, startled at first, before breaking into a grin. “jake? what are you doing here?”

“getting breakfast,” he says, holding up a cup of coffee and a bag. “didn’t think i’d see you again so soon.”

“neither did i,” you reply, chuckling. “are you always this lucky, or is paris just this small?”

“maybe both,” he teases. “need help deciding?”

“i was leaning toward the croissant, but now i feel like i have to trust your judgment.”

“always trust the chocolate,” he says, nodding sagely.

you laugh and order the pain au chocolat. as you wait, the two of you chat, his humor making the simple café feel like the best spot in paris.

────୨ৎ────

a couple of days later, you’re wandering through a mall with keeho and hyunjin, trying to find souvenirs to take back home. keeho is busy debating between two scarves for his mom, and hyunjin is glued to his phone, looking up recommendations.

you drift toward a small kiosk filled with handmade trinkets, running your fingers over delicate keychains.

“don’t tell me you’re buying one of those cheesy eiffel tower keychains,” a familiar voice says behind you.

you spin around, your heart skipping a beat. “jake!”

he’s holding a bag of his own, filled with souvenirs. “fancy meeting you here.”

“again,” you add with a laugh.

keeho spots jake and gives you a knowing look, while hyunjin just raises an eyebrow before wandering off. you try to ignore them and focus on jake instead.

“what’s in the bag?” you ask, nodding toward his purchases.

“just some stuff for my family,” he says. “and maybe a keychain or two.”

you laugh. “i thought you were against cheesy keychains.”

“only when other people buy them,” he says, his grin mischievous.

────୨ৎ────

the park has become your little escape, a quiet place to think and reflect. you’re sitting on the same bench as before, lost in thought, when you hear footsteps approach.

“do you have a permanent spot here, or are you waiting for me?” jake’s voice breaks through your daydream.

you turn, smiling as he sits down beside you. “maybe both.”

“lucky me, then,” he says, leaning back and looking up at the sky. “so, what’s on your mind today?”

you hesitate for a moment, then decide to be honest. “just… thinking about how much i’ve enjoyed this trip. and how strange it’ll feel to leave.”

jake nods, his expression softening. “yeah, i get that. it’s been a lot, hasn’t it?”

“yeah,” you say quietly, and for a moment, the two of you sit in comfortable silence.

that evening. your teacher gathers the entire class in the lobby of the hotel to deliver the news.

“you’ve got two days left to enjoy paris before we head back home,” she says. “make sure you start packing your things and grab any last-minute souvenirs.”

the room fills with murmurs of excitement and relief. most of your classmates are thrilled to return to canada, and part of you is, too. but as you head back to your room, a bittersweet feeling settles in your chest.

two more days. that’s all the time you have left before you have to say goodbye to jake.

you don’t know why the thought stings so much, but it does. and now, more than ever, you hope for one more chance to see him.

────୨ৎ────

the second-to-last day in paris feels like a blur of excitement and nostalgia. you, keeho, and hyunjin make it a mission to visit as many places as possible, squeezing every last drop out of your remaining time in the city.

as the three of you step into the vintage store, you're greeted by the faint smell of aged leather and a mix of retro music playing softly in the background. the shop is packed with everything from old records to racks of vintage clothes and shelves lined with random knick-knacks.

“okay,” keeho announces, clapping his hands together. “this is the place to find hidden gems.”

hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “hidden gems or overpriced junk?”

“you just don’t have the vision,” keeho shoots back, already digging through a rack of jackets.

you wander toward a glass display case near the counter, something catching your eye—a vintage digicam. it’s small, sleek, and looks like it’s been well cared for. you kneel to get a closer look, curiosity piqued.

“hey, what’d you find?” keeho asks, appearing beside you with a leopard-print scarf draped around his neck.

you point to the camera. “a digicam. looks pretty cool, doesn’t it?”

keeho leans in, inspecting it. “very cool. are you gonna get it?”

you hesitate. “i don’t know… do you think it still works?”

“only one way to find out,” hyunjin says, suddenly appearing on your other side. he gestures to the shop owner, a kind-looking older man, who unlocks the case and hands you the camera.

you examine it closely, turning it over in your hands. the lens looks clean, and the buttons feel intact.

“how much?” you ask the shop owner.

“twenty euros,” he replies with a smile.

keeho gasps dramatically. “a steal! you have to get it.”

“yeah, before someone else does,” hyunjin agrees, casually flipping through a rack of shirts.

you laugh at their enthusiasm and decide to go for it. “alright, fine. i’m buying it.”

as you hand over the cash, keeho strikes another pose with the scarf. “what do you think? parisian chic, or should i stick to my usual?”

“stick to your usual,” hyunjin says without looking up.

keeho sighs, draping the scarf back onto the rack. “you two have no appreciation for drama.”

you test out the digicam, snapping a quick photo of keeho mid-pout. the image pops up on the tiny screen, surprisingly crisp for something so old.

“perfect,” you say, showing him the photo.

keeho grins. “okay, maybe you do have an eye for the dramatic.”

hyunjin wanders over with an oversized sweater, holding it up against himself. “thoughts?”

keeho wrinkles his nose. “are you auditioning for a grandpa role?”

“i like it,” you say, defending hyunjin’s choice.

“thank you,” hyunjin replies, smugly tossing the sweater over his arm.

the three of you spend a bit longer in the shop, goofing around and trying on random hats, sunglasses, and jackets. you snap more photos with your new camera—keeho wearing an old captain’s hat, hyunjin attempting to look cool in aviator sunglasses, and a candid shot of the two of them laughing together.

by the time you leave, the bag with your new camera swings lightly at your side, and your heart feels full. the memory of this moment—just you and your friends being unapologetically yourselves—already feels like a keepsake all its own.

at a small crêperie, hyunjin’s crêpe is covered in whipped cream and chocolate drizzle.

“how are you even holding that without it falling apart?” you ask, staring at the overloaded treat in wonder.

hyunjin shrugs. “skill,” he says simply before taking an enormous bite.

keeho watches in horror. “that’s going to end up all over your shirt, and i am not letting you borrow mine.”

“you sound like my mom,” hyunjin says through a mouthful of crêpe.

by the seine river, you take turns with the digicam, capturing moments that feel like they belong in a movie. keeho makes exaggerated poses on the bridge, while hyunjin tries (and fails) to look mysterious.

when it’s your turn to hold the camera, you take a candid shot of the two of them mid-laugh. it’s perfect—pure and genuine, a reminder of how much these moments mean to you.

“alright, photographer extraordinaire,” keeho says, pointing dramatically at the eiffel tower in the distance. “get my good side.”

“you don’t have one,” hyunjin jokes, earning a glare from keeho.

as the day winds down, you find yourself lingering outside the hotel while keeho and hyunjin head inside.

“we’ll be in the lobby if you need us,” keeho calls over his shoulder, giving you a knowing look.

once they’re gone, you make your way to the park. the same bench, the same tree, and this time, jake is already there, waiting.

he stands when he sees you, his smile soft but bright. “hey.”

“hey,” you reply, walking up to him. “beat me here this time, huh?”

“had a feeling you’d come,” he says, shrugging.

you sit down beside him, the quiet of the park wrapping around you like a blanket.

“you’ve been busy,” jake comments. “i saw you earlier near the seine with your friends. looked like fun.”

“it was,” you say, smiling at the memory. “trying to cram everything into one day, you know? time feels so short now.”

jake’s expression shifts, just slightly, and you know he understands what you mean.

“speaking of time…” you begin, hesitating. “we’re leaving tomorrow. my class is flying back home.”

jake nods slowly, his gaze dropping to his hands. “i figured it was coming. my group leaves the day after.”

there’s a pause, the kind that feels heavy but not uncomfortable.

“do you think we’ll meet again?” you ask softly, not daring to look at him.

“i hope we do,” he replies, his voice quiet but firm.

the weight of his words lingers between you, saying everything that neither of you can.

you pull out your digicam, breaking the tension with a small smile. “can i take some pictures? you know, to remember this?”

jake’s face brightens slightly. “of course.”

you snap a few shots—some posed, some candid. jake laughing at something you said, jake looking off into the distance, and finally, one of the two of you together, taken with his help.

as the night deepens, you know it’s time to go. you stand, reluctantly. “i should get back before my friends come looking for me.”

jake nods but doesn’t move. instead, he reaches out, gently taking your wrist.

“wait.”

you turn, surprised, as he pulls something from his jacket pocket—a pair of silver rings, simple and elegant.

“for you,” he says softly, slipping the smaller one onto your right hand’s ring finger. the fit is perfect.

your heart races, words failing you as he looks at you, his gaze full of unspoken meaning. then, he leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“goodbye, y/n,” he murmurs, stepping back.

it takes you a moment to find your voice. “goodbye, jake.”

as you walk back to the hotel, your mind replays the moment over and over, the cool metal of the ring on your finger grounding you in the surrealness of it all. that night, lying in bed, you can’t help but wonder if the universe will bring you and jake together again someday.

꒰ paris again, and again, and again, and again, and again ꒱

a tap on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts, and you lift your head groggily. you blink, trying to focus on the person standing in front of you. it’s keeho, grinning mischievously, while hyunjin stands behind him, sipping his americano with a slightly amused expression.

“y/n, what are you doing?” keeho asks, leaning in and waving his hand in front of your face.

you yawn, rubbing your eyes. “i’m taking a break. i can’t even keep my eyes open for more than a minute.”

hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “yeah, we can tell. you’re practically sleeping at your desk.” he leans against the back of your chair, his voice cool but teasing. “how about you stop pretending to study and actually join us for once?”

keeho’s grin widens as he jumps into the conversation. “we’re heading to a café to study, and you’re coming with us. you need a change of scenery.”

you groan, feeling your body resist the idea of leaving the comforting quiet of the library, but deep down, you know you’ve been at it for too long. a change of pace might be exactly what you need.

“come on, y/n,” keeho insists, his voice full of that playful energy you can’t ignore. “we’ll make it more fun. you can’t study like this. plus, you’ll probably get more done with us around.”

you hesitate for a moment, your mind torn between the need for a proper break and the looming pressure of your exams. still, you can’t deny how much you need a little distraction. “fine,” you sigh, finally giving in. “but if we end up just talking the entire time, i’m leaving.”

hyunjin chuckles, giving you a knowing look. “i think you’ll be okay. we’ll actually study this time. promise.”

keeho grabs your arm, pulling you up from your seat with a playful tug. “good, because you need us to keep you sane. now, let’s get out of here.”

as the three of you leave the library, you let out one last sigh, knowing that even though you might not get as much studying done as you hope, you could definitely use the company.

the café is warm and inviting, the soft hum of background chatter mixing with the aroma of fresh coffee and baked goods. it’s a stark contrast to the quiet, studious atmosphere of the library, and you find yourself breathing a little easier as you step inside.

you find a small corner table and set your laptop down, letting out a contented sigh as you settle in. keeho and hyunjin head to the counter to order, leaving you to fidget with your feet, trying to shake off the weight of the past few hours spent studying.

your eyes flicker to the window, watching people pass by as you idly tap your fingers against your coffee cup. eventually, you stop, catching sight of the ring on your right hand.

you pause, fingers tracing the smooth metal, your mind drifting back to paris. “it’s been three years since that time in paris,” you think to yourself, a wave of nostalgia washing over you. the memory feels distant now, like a dream you’re not quite sure was real.

you wonder if jake still remembers you, if he thinks about you at all. you’d been so wrapped up in the magic of those moments, so caught up in the fleeting connection between the two of you, that you’d completely forgotten to exchange socials, to keep in touch.

a soft laugh escapes you, tinged with frustration. you can still picture your past self—so carefree, so caught up in the magic of the moment, never once thinking about the things you should have done. and now, years later, it stings.

the photos you took back then are all you have left—memories frozen in time, but still, you find yourself wishing you had more. a way to bridge the gap between then and now, something more than a ring on your finger that’s become a quiet reminder of what you left behind.

a soft laugh from keeho breaks you from your thoughts, and you glance up to see him and hyunjin walking toward the table, their arms full of coffee cups and pastries. keeho places your cup down in front of you, his expression softening when he notices the faraway look in your eyes.

“you okay?” he asks, settling into his chair across from you.

you smile faintly. “yeah, just… thinking about paris.”

hyunjin raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push. he simply places a croissant in front of you and nods. “we’ll make it through these finals. paris will still be there when you’re done.”

you nod, but the bittersweet smile remains on your face, the question still lingering in the back of your mind. will you ever see jake again?

you manage to get some work done, but there’s plenty of laughter and light-hearted banter between you guys. hyunjin and keeho constantly bicker over the most ridiculous things—whether iced coffee is better than hot coffee, or if studying with background music is productive.

“you’re seriously telling me you don’t like the classics?” keeho says, shaking his head dramatically. “what kind of music do you even listen to, hyunjin?”

“i listen to music that doesn’t make my brain want to shut down,” hyunjin replies with a smirk, taking a sip from his americano. “but hey, if you need classical music to study, you do you.”

you laugh at their back-and-forth, shaking your head at their silly rivalry. the sound of their bickering is strangely comforting, distracting you from the pressure building up inside your mind. you feel a little lighter, even if it’s just for a moment.

after a while, you excuse yourself and head to the bathroom inside the café, needing a quick break from the endless cycle of notes and coffee. the place is busy, but the hum of quiet conversations and the scent of freshly brewed coffee make it feel comforting.

you take your time, refreshing yourself and letting your thoughts wander for a few moments. when you finally finish and head back out, you’re not paying attention to where you’re going, still lost in your thoughts.

and then—bam.

you collide with someone, the force making you stumble slightly. your reflexes kick in, and you immediately start bowing in apology, your words rushing out in a flurry of embarrassment.

“i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean—”

but before you can finish, you hear a familiar voice, soft and warm, with that unmistakable australian accent.

“y/n?”

you freeze, and the world seems to stop for a moment. you slowly lift your head, and there, standing in front of you, is none other than jake. in the flesh.

for a split second, all your words get caught in your throat. your heart races, and your brain scrambles to process the unexpected reunion. this can’t be real. is this a dream?

jake’s brows furrow slightly as he looks at you with concern, his voice softening. “are you okay?” he asks, stepping a little closer to you, clearly worried about your sudden silence.

you blink, feeling your heart thumping louder in your chest as you try to find your words, but they’re nowhere to be found. you stand there, staring at him, completely at a loss for what to say.

he leans in slightly, just enough to make sure you’re okay, his face showing that familiar concern. “y/n?” he gently says your name, and your body snaps back to reality.

“i—uh… sorry, i just—didn’t expect to see you.” you feel the heat rush to your cheeks, embarrassment flushing your face. "i thought… i thought i was imagining things."

jake chuckles softly, his expression softening with a smile that makes your heart flutter. “i didn’t expect to run into you here either.” his tone is light, playful, but there’s something in his eyes—something that makes the air feel a little thicker.

you both stand there for a moment, awkward silence hanging between you. the familiarity of this moment feels surreal, but there’s no denying the warmth that spreads through you at the sight of him.

“so, uh,” you start, finally finding your voice, “what are you doing here? i didn’t expect to run into you… again.”

jake’s lips curl into that familiar, soft smile. he shrugs nonchalantly, but there’s a glint in his eyes, something unspoken. “guess it’s just fate.” he says, his tone playful but there’s a layer of sincerity underneath it, one you can’t quite ignore.

you chuckle lightly, but the tension between you both is palpable now, thickening the air around you. there’s an undeniable pull between you, something that neither of you have fully acknowledged, but it’s there, lingering in the space between your words. you feel the heat of his gaze, and the sudden awareness of how close you both are makes your heart beat just a little faster.

“so… how’ve you been?” you ask, needing to break the moment but also curious, wanting to know everything about him since that last time you saw him.

jake rubs the back of his neck with a small, shy smile, a gesture you remember well. “i’ve been good… just been busy, you know. but i’ve been thinking about our time in paris a lot.” his voice is casual, but his eyes hold something deeper, a hint of vulnerability that you weren’t expecting.

you nod, understanding exactly what he means. you’ve been thinking about paris too. every memory feels like a treasure, something you’ve carefully tucked away, not wanting to forget any part of it. you wish you had more time to ask him about the things he’s been up to, to know if he’s felt the same pull that you have, the connection that neither of you can explain.

you glance down at your hand absentmindedly, and that’s when you see it—the ring he gave you in the park, so simple yet so meaningful. the silver band glints in the soft café lighting, and your heart does a little flip.

jake notices too, his gaze dropping to your hand. his smile softens, almost imperceptibly, but you notice it. there’s a quiet understanding between you two that you don’t need to speak aloud.

“i see you’re still wearing it,” he murmurs, his voice low, almost tender.

you look up at him, meeting his eyes, and for a moment, everything else fades away. you feel like you’re back in paris, standing in that park, with everything still ahead of you, full of hope and possibility.

“i didn’t want to take it off,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

jake doesn’t say anything at first, his eyes locked on yours. then, without warning, he reaches out slowly, his fingers brushing lightly over your hand, and he gently presses a kiss to your right hand, right where the ring rests. the simple gesture feels like it speaks volumes, and you can’t help but feel a surge of warmth spread through you.

“i’m glad,” he says softly, his voice just above a murmur. “i’m glad you kept it.”

for a moment, neither of you speaks. the world feels like it’s holding its breath. the space between you feels charged, but neither of you is in a rush to break the silence. it’s as if this moment, this small, quiet exchange, is enough.

you blink, still a little stunned by the gesture, your heart racing, but a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. you can’t help but feel the warmth in your chest, the way his simple action makes you feel seen, valued, even though you never really said all the things you wanted to say.

when you finally speak, your voice is soft but steady. “i didn’t think i’d see you again.”

jake takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “i didn’t either, but i’m glad i did.”

enha perm taglist. @dazzlingjaeyun @honeychocos @manaah02 @kozumesphone

©levandright

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loveafterdeath-if · 6 months ago

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Update (more like me rambling than an actual update, tbh)

Hope y'all are doing alright! I saw my inbox filled with asks and kind words (y'all are the best, as always), and I'll start answering everything once I wrap up Chap 2, Part 2. I want to focus fully on writing so I can get you the whole chapter before March at least, haha.

I'm gonna start correcting what I've written so far to avoid ending up with 100k words to fix all at once. We're about 50% through Chap 2, Part 2 (38k words, but it'll probably hit 40k with corrections). There are branches that have messed with my brain because I wanted to include scenes for each RO, but I don't regret it. I love games with lots of replayability (is that how we say it?), so I want mine to offer that too.

Chap 2, Part 2 will have a ton of branches for each RO, plus the option if you're not pursuing anyone, so it might take a while to get that full chapter out. I honestly don't know how other authors keep track of so many branches! I've always respected them as a reader/player, but being the one writing makes me wanna hand my future kids over to those incredible authors…

On top of that, I'm dealing with another issue. I've been writing so much that I think I'm slowly slipping into that "They gaze at her and say," "They take the paper and it falls" vibe (is that even a thing? Idk). You know, the kind of writing with no real description. I find myself double-checking everything to make sure the descriptions are 'good,' and I think I'll just play some IFs when I got time, to help me regain my groove without turning phrases all weird (I hate reading books, that's why I'm gonna play IFs). This is making me slow down a bit.

I've been pushing myself to write at least 4-5k words each day for the past 3 (4?) months, and I think I shouldn’t have done that. I'm putting pressure on myself without even realizing it. It's only when I end up with 'only' 3k words that I start feeling upset and push through to hit minimum 4k. I'm feeling good for now and don't mind writing that much, but I really don't want to wake up one day and boom—burnout. A Ko-fi member and some folks in my inbox have kindly reminded me to take breaks and take my time, so I think I'll slow down a bit. Like, maybe aim for 3k words?

I've been writing for years, (started on Wattpad in French, and yeah, it was… something) so no worries about the game going on hiatus or anything. I love writing, especially interactive stuff—so basically IFs, haha. Just wanted to keep you in the loop!

Anyway, this ended up way longer than I intended. Stay safe, don't forget to eat your greens, stay hydrated, and all that! <3

#update #rambles #LAD-if #love after death #delete later

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0catiiyori0 · 8 months ago

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some headcanons for @zeivira's crack au "No sleep for the wicked" that is invading my head and is living rent free and is stoping me from writing my own au (and study) so ya let me release the drain

I honestly can't stop thinking abt how garfiel would first react to Subaru's "illness". maybe because I don't know if the information that the witch cult members are also always sleepy is widely known, but if it is- my boi Subaru must have the strongest coffee in his disposal because that boy won't be sleeping for 3 days straight (or was it two?). I imagine that he'll sleep the first two loops but then his scent is so strong and to add to that his sleeping "illness" would make ryuzu's alarm bells skyrocket and it'll be way too harder than the og white rabbit loop lmao. but if it isn't I think that'll make garfiel think of Subaru to be way less harmless. can't really do anything if he's unconscious for a couple of hours everyday ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. but i don't think he'll sleep anyway in the winning loop, just like in canon the difference is that he'll keep trying to stay awake for as long as he can. and when things calm down beatrice would force him to sleep and then garfiel would panic cuz he beat the shit out of him, him the same person who he has gained respect for and now after all that he had done turns out he has the same deadly illness that took the Royal family yet is doing miracles, I used to think that garfiel won't be able to stan subaru more than he already does, but that? ya well I'll be damned if he didn't.

now I didn't read the novels cuz I'm waiting for season 3 to end but I've gotten spoilered pretty good to know the general idea of what's going to happen (cries) . so rainhard, MY BOI IS GOING TO BE SO SAD THAT HE DIDN'T KIDNAP SUBARU WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE LMAO. like yeah he was able to find the supposedly last royal member alive (*cough*we will act like cappella doesn't exist*cough*) and he's happy to serve them again, but Subaru has the same illness that took them in the first place, so i think he'll feel some kind of responsibility to help him even if he can't have him in the same camp, that sense of responsibility to be able to defeat the illness that took them and that might take his friend too, he couldn't protect the people he was supposed to protect, so the least he can do to them is getting rid of what took them. He needs to help Subaru, because of him now, because he couldn't beat the illness Subaru is suffering, and he'll be damned if he lets anyone succumb to it again. I know that the felt camp would be also heavily included in the research along crusch camp now lol.

"The tale of a hero fighting the world, cursed with the same fate as the people of the throne, the royal family. The Sleeping Beauty Illness. Yet is still making miracles after miracle, serving his lady, fighting monsters, saving lives. Truly, for he is the tragic hero"...ya you'll hear this in a bar lol. (or sung by Liliana lol).

Y'all... we're missing something here... THE PILLOW LAP XHJAJXBSJ, EMILIA WOULD BE SO TERRIFIED OF THE BOY WHO CRIED ALL OVER HER ONLY FOR HIM TO FAINT SUDDENLY JSJDJJS "wdm you were sleeping??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ARE YOU OK?? ARE YOU SICK??? that's it we're taking you to a doctor" and subaru would be so panicked cuz he's ok he doesn't need a doctor!!! there are way more important things such as THE SHAMAN THAT'S GONNA TARGET THE VILLAGE SOON. rip my guy...

I want to point out more but this has been sitting in my drafts FOR A WHILE so ya hope you like it sensei <3

#re:zero #re zero #natsuki subaru #subaru natsuki #emilia re:zero #au #not my au #my writing #re zero au #no rest for the wicked

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paramortality · 15 days ago

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I can't be the only one sitting on this so I'm taking you all down with me

CW blorbo death HC (it's about Laird)

Laird and Emmrich have a long, inseparable 37 years together. Laird, his rusty red mane– now a strawberry silver sunkissed by life and age– can't cope as well as everyone thought he could. Even knowing it was coming for so long, it felt like he hadn't prepared at all when it finally happened. It was peaceful of course; cold in Laird's arms one Wintersend morning.

Lucanis makes the trip from Minrathous with his wife Neve of nearly as many years. Bellara's Aravel is escorted through the Nevarran streets to at Vorgoth's behest as she's an old friend of their son's and ofc a hero of the Veilguard. The blight no longer in the world, Davrin has made it to his greying years with no calling and arrives with the mountain little Assan has become. Laird was there for Shathaan, Harding, and Isabella's funerals, so of course Taash makes a show of force with the Lords of Fortune at their backs to be their for Emmrich's. He was just as gilded as they were, and they found some Nevarran artifacts in some looter's den that needed returning anyways.

The funeral was beautiful, people making pilgrimages thedas-over to pay respect to the now second fallen member of the Veilguard. Laird seemed to be holding it together really well; He'd never tell anyone how bad it hurt. Even if Neve saw through him like a glass house, he'd argue politely he'd be okay. There'd been quiet concerns he'd turn to the lich lords to "fix it" at his lowest moment, but he never visits them. "How many exceptions until tyranny," he reminds himself.

It's not even a full week after the funeral they all receive a letter again. This time in what may be Vorgoth's hand but is too shaky to really be theirs, right? Laird had been found at Emmrich's headstone after being unaccounted for for a couple of days. Shrouds kiss had already started growing unnaturally fast around the headstone and over Laird's shoulders, petals pressed gently against the pages of a memoir of Manfred's development they'd written together in their final years. Manfred was his own man, off in search of a lost hypogeum with his own research team much further down in the Necropolis. He's grief stricken but unsurprised his fathers went one right after the other when a letter finally reaches his expedition camp some days later. His only regret being he missed Emmrich's funeral for simply not knowing. Time loops on that one charnel bridge really delayed the letter's delivery. No one's fault.

All the gang returns, just as they had for Emmrich, but the grief now stacked twice as high. The man who believed in them all, went to hell and back, killed three gods, and was the wind at all their backs as they saved the world together was gone, just like that. If happiness could be a thing in times like this, they hoped the Fade gained two inseparable wisps of curiosity and determination that night. Neve never looked at wisps that pestered her in pairs the same way again.

Taash, trying to keep a stoic face– like the casket before them didn't hold the first person to ever really listen to them, who outed his own gender identity to help them find their own– forces a dry humour smile at the podium and swallows a tightness in their throat. They knew he never wanted his funeral to be doom and gloom.

"Hey. His hands finally stopped rattling. Bet he's happy about that."

It was the only time anyone in the world had ever heard Vorgoth laugh.

If y'all need anything I'll be fighting my brain in the Waffle House parking lot for this.

#laird “rattles” ingellvar #emmrich volkarin #emmrook #headcanon #dragon age headcanon #dragon age the veilguard #datv #dragon age #dragon age veilguard #veilguard #emmrich x rook #listen Vorgoth is Laird's cloud dad I don't make the rules #paramortality writes

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cloudyskydreams · 6 months ago

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Yandere types UT,UF,US,HT

So!!! I asked and y'all have delivered!! I got like 4 yandere asks already and they are all very good. I figured I should probably do this one first as it'll give me a better idea how to write the others ::3.

These are just small rambles and their yandere types, surprisingly Stretch was the hardest for me here.

Anyways hope you enjoy!!

➽──────────────────────────────❥

Undertale:

Sans: Manipulative ,possesive , stalker.

This man is a PRO gaslighter. He wasn't there and he has no idea what you're talking about and a matter of fact you weren't there either?? Bro can lie his way out of any situation and sometimes he feeds you lies just for the heck of it to keep you out of the loop and further trapped in his web. He doesn't think it's weird he likes to watch you, he's just making sure you're staying good and safe. Uses his teleportation ability to his advantage for sure and enjoys creeping you out sometimes by making noise in your house and teleporting outside a window to watch your reaction (he thinks it's cute).

Papyrus: Delusional, Obsessive, Overprotective.

He's really good at lying to himself and telling himself what he wants to hear. You should also get really good at this because it'll make things easier for you in the end. He just loves you so much and is so happy to be around you when he can be. Gushes about you so much his brother and friends all think you two are in a relationship of some sorts (atleast friendship) when y'all are still just strangers basically. Once you get closer Papyrus loves having you depend on him it gets to the point where he starts to sabotage things in your life so he can run in and "save" the situation as a hero.

Underfell:

Red: Obsessive/Possessive, Clingy, Manipulative.

Red's never thought he was worth it or that anyone would ever love him and that doesn't change as a yandere. He knows how disgusting and vile he and his affections are and so he hides them with manipulative sweet lies and gentle affection. He's constantly all over you when he gets the chance finding ways to sneak touches as acquaintances and gets bolder with his touches as your relationship progresses. Desperate for positive attention from you fuck he'd even take negative attention like getting hit or degraded anything as long as your focusing on him. In his eyes he belongs to you, he is yours and you have no choice but to be his.

Edge: Possessive, Controlling, Stalker.

This man is a schedule freak and he has your schedule memorized a day or two after knowing you with some good ole stalking. Plans everything out to a t from how you meet to the point of your eventual relationship and gets frustrated when things don't go exactly as planned. He hates how there's so many outside factors that can affect the budding relationship between you two. He's definitely not stalking you by the way his schedule just conveniently starts to line up with yours and you find yourself in the same areas constantly. Oh you're taking this hobby class what a surprise edge is also taking that class.

Underswap:

Blue: Impulsive, Obsessive/possesive, Unstable.

Blues emotions greatly depend on yours at the moment. If your upset he's upset if you're happy he's happy. It's extremely hard to expect what's to come from him due to his impulsive nature and with is instability it makes quite a duo. He's not above hurting other people to get to you and occasionally if he has to hurt you to get his way he will.

Stretch:, Manipulative, Obsessive, Soft

. He's really good like Sans at lying his way out of situations but he also uses his manipulative tactics in a poor me situation alot to garner sympathy from you. The world's a cruel place and he's aware of this he just wants to keep you safe so badly. He feels guilty when he has to hold you in comfort over losing a friend/family member or feeding you poisoned food to keep you sick so he can take care of you but its easier this way... All you need is him and he knows this it's only a matter of time until you get it too.

Horrortale:

Axe: Sadistic, Clingy, Possesive/Obsessive.

What a nice combo. Axe falls and falls hard when he finds the object of his obsession. They just stick out to him and he thinks about them for a long time even after they're gone and that's when he realizes.... he didn't forget them. He takes that as a sign it's ment to be and basically kidnaps them from the start after stalking them to know their schedule and the perfect time to take them. Leans heavy on Stockholm syndrome and isn't above hurting his darling as punishment and training. After being a sadistic fuck he'll love bomb you with cuddles and affection divulging into his clingy side.

Willow: Overprotective, obsessive, Harmless

Willow is very much like papyrus in the sense of he sets up situations to be your hero. He also gets really jealous of other people and friends and will try to slowly get you to disconnect with them and rely more and more solely on him. He won't hurt you or anyone else he just doesn't have it in him. Doesn't mean he won't ask his brother to do something for him if something needs to be done though. He's one to have a shrine/collection of your items he's collected over the time of knowing you.

➽──────────────────────────────❥

Not to sure how I feel about these but atleast they're done and now I can work on some asks with personalities already in mind! Thanks so much for everyone who replied to my request so fast!

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phantomofthemountain · 10 days ago

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Your boy has begun learning quads!!!

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

Honestly, I never thought I'd be the type of therian that preforms Quadrobics. For a while I honestly thought quads were cringy and a surefire way of determining someone's validity as a nonhuman. But, as I've done more research and saw the joy it brought other Nonhumans, I began to feel jealous. They all look so free, happy, and confident. I wanted to be like them

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

The problem, though, is that I have unmedicated chronic pain. Even just laying in bed is painful if I don't constantly flip myself around like rolling hotdog. So, I never really entertained the idea of doing quads all that much. Instead, I daydreamed about what it would feel like to be on all fours, to be feral.

But, for the past month or so, I've been getting better at understanding that, no matter what I do, I will always be in pain. And if I want to have any sort of quality of life, I need to learn how to be okay with that. I can't just rot in bed all the time as a way to avoid being in even worse pain, you know? If I have to be in pain, at least it's on MY terms.

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

So, today I finally made the decision to begin learning Quadrobics. I set a bunch of rules to make sure I don't push myself too far or do something that could lead me to injury. I must stretch, hydrate, and asses my pain/energy levels before I even THINK of my front paws touching the floor.

I watched a bunch of different tutorials, stretched, and began learning how to walk. And it was... Interesting. I won't lie, it was extremely fun and affirming. But, it was also really scary and exhaustive. I underestimated how difficult it would be. I was unbalanced, my posture was all off, it was hard to breathe, and the whole time I felt like I was just falling. Just 30 seconds of walking was exhausting. I would do one lap around my basement, and pause for a few minutes to catch my breath. Then do another loop.

In total, I believe I completed about 10 loops today, and improved each time. But, there is still a LOT of learning and improvement I need to do. It's probably gonna take me a few months to feel confident and comfortable in my walk. I need to learn how to adjust my speed, to trust that I won't fall, to position myself more comfortably so I can breathe properly, and allow myself to slowly get into things so my heart doesn't explode lol

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

All-in-all I am excited to start this journey and to have a new way to express my alterhumanity! It's gonna be a very slow process of building muscle, memory, rhythm, and posture. But, I feel hopeful! My pain/discomfort levels are good, and I feel excited to do more!

I don't know if I'm ever going to post videos of me doing quads as I do not have a mask and would like to remain anonymous. But, if you all find this interesting I may document my journey here through text!

•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•

Anyway! (Unrelated rambles ahead) I know this post is longer than my usual, so, if you've read this far.. thank you! I've never been super good at summarizing my thoughts, and I'm not sure if anyone even reads these beyond the header. But, it's fun to write regardless! I enjoy letting you all in on this side of my life, and I'm incredibly thankful for the community we have here. I love you all and am once again so happy to be back! I have another long post coming in very soon and I hope y'all like it!

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ashy-mxw12 · 8 months ago

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Ayyyy more delayed Pomctober for y'all,this is the 1st part since I finally did all of them but they're like 11 and I can only put 10,idk how to put more :'^

Anyways here's the Pomnis from AUs made by cool ppl,discovering other AUs I didn't know they existed is pretty fun to read,draw and everything. I'll post the rest tonight so stay tuned :³ credits coming uP:

Casino AU(one of my favorites I drew): @cna-enterprise

Freakshow Circus AU(I'll probably post my oc in this one soon since I love it alot,I hope you're ok with OcxCanon ;w;): @kookydoodleky

Abandonware AU: @vvickydisc

Ragamaster AU: @milezperprower

Digital Nightmares AU: @iamespecter

(useless fact I was listening to Yaelokre on loop while drawing these jjjjj I'm obsessed-)

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spoonfulofmilo · 1 year ago

Note

Could you do fic for James Vowles with wife author!reader? ( He's at Williams ) He always goes to her events even though he's busy but he still makes time just to support her. And vice versa. Just something fluff and cute. Thanks!! :))

this is definitely not amazing, but im secretly quite happy with it

(also updates are gonna slow the fuck down because i have assessments and exams this term yay /s)

my masterlist can be accessed here

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

james vowles x wife!author!reader

---

book talk:

Y/N watched as a teenage girl walked up to the microphone. She clearly looked nervous, as had many other people coming up, but Y/N tried to make her feel as at ease as possible.

“Um…hey Y/N, my name is Elodie, and I just wanted to say how much I love your writing…” - Elodie

James quietly shut the door, once Logan and Alex were through, and didn’t try and push through the crowded room, they instead settled for a spot near the back where they could still see Y/N. They were sure that if people recognised them, they would be shunted towards the front or ushered backstage. They didn’t want that, they just wanted to stay inconspicuous at the back.

“Aww thank you Elodie, what was your question?” Y/N smiled reassuringly

“Um…well, for your book, ‘a sweet sting of salt’, I was just wondering if you had any inspiration for the character Tobias. While he isn’t the best character in the story, you said he was one of your favourite characters to write, and I was just wondering why?” Eloise asked

“Oh, that is a good question, thank you Elodie. Um… while the actions are obviously not based on him, a lot of Tobias’ so-called ‘good’ elements are actually based on my husband. So…okay I’m gonna hope that everyone has read the book, so I don’t spoil it,” she smiled “Um, so for those of you who are unaware, my husband is James Vowles, and he is the Team Principal of Williams, which is a motorsport for those who are very out of the loop. So I guess the main words I would use to describe both Tobias and James, other than loving because Tobias is definitely not, are logical, quiet, grounded, organised and productive.”

James smiles, watching his wife talk about something she was so passionate about.

“So for example, for logical qualities for Tobias and James in chapter 10, Tobias uses deductive reasoning, which I would like to say is James’ strong suit, however he sometimes misuses it, like deducing who ate the chocolate, the wife or the dog. Tobias uses it for more evil, using it for working out how to do the things he does. Maybe they are more evil and similar and similar.” Y/N pondered, garnering a small laugh from the audience

James stopped smiling, as he listened to his wife compare him to a literal murderer in her book. Logan and Alex were standing next to him, trying to avoid their laughs.

“Then for quiet, in chapter 16, James likes sneaking around and scaring the shit out of me when he gets back from the factory and from races to scare the shit out of me, and Tobias uses it for murder. Huh, maybe these 2 characters are closer together than I thought.” Y/N pondered, laughing as she saw her husband’s face

“Darling, I’m not a thief and a murderer. I honestly don’t know why you based Tobias off of me.” James tried to mediate.

However it was enough for Alex and Logan to burst out laughing, joining in with the rest of the crowd, who had discovered that James was there and found it very funny.

“I’m just saying you share similar qualities, more than I initially insisted. Are you sure you didn’t secretly murder someone?” Y/N tilted her head, as if genuinely thinking about the question

“Darling…” James tried to plead again

“ANYWAY - Then for grounded, in chapter 18…” - Y/N, moved on, continuing with her ideas.

---

garage:

“And during this safety car period, Alex, our camera man has gone for a wander and he has gone down to the Williams garage, and while we’re normally looking at the team principal or other important people, we have instead zoomed in on Y/N Vowles. Now for those who don’t know, she is a writer, and she seems pretty hard at work at this book on her laptop. Now that will be good news for anyone who reads her books, including me, she writes very good books, available at all the awesome book stores, and no she hasn’t paid us for that, we just think her books are amazing. Oh and she waved at us. Hi Y/N!” - Jolyon said from the commentary box

James smiled at the sight of Y/N on his screen. While this weekend had been very stressful, it was very nice having his wife be there for him in the garage and then back at the hotel rooms, even after all the late meetings. He watched as she smiled and waved at the screen, and he was unable to resist the temptation as he smiled at the picture and waved back, earning another laugh from the commentators.

---

book talk part 2:

“Sorry Y/N, my name is Leo, this is a bit of a personal question…” a teenage boy asked

“...as long as it’s not when I’m having a baby, or where I live, it should be okay, hit me!” Y/N tried to put him at ease.

“Your schedule for this book tour is a little all over the place, if you don’t mind me saying, it was basically like the first 2 months of the year, and now there’s just kinda weeks off or even months off, and I was just wondering if there was any sense to the schedule.” Leo shuffled awkwardly, unsure of how she would react to the question.

“Ah, well there actually is. First off, I cannot tour every week of the year, because I think I would just simply die. But the reason I picked those weeks off is because if my husband again. Are you guys sensing a pattern here? I love James, and I really want to support him at all the f1 races. So those are the weeks I took off, basically. And second, Baby Vowles is due in 6 months, thanks guys!” Y/N laughed as she put down the microphone and walked off stage, laughing as the cheers from the crowd grew louder.

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3, @pear-1206

#miloformula123fan #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #james vowles x reader #james vowles fanfic #james vowles #james vowles fic #james vowles x female reader #james vowles x you #james vowles x y/n

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francisofthespook · 6 months ago

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DIY Santa pt.2

Daryl Dixon x F!Reader

Summary: Part 2 to 'DIY Santa', after walking Judith home, you run into 'Santa' and you both elaborate a little bit on your 'Christmas wishes'

Setting: Alexandria

Warnings: Suggestive content but nothing too explicit

Word Count: 2,455

A/N: OKAY OKAY IM SORRY HERE IT IS FUCK ! In my defence, I'll say in twd they lost track of days and yes I am posting this on janurary 11th but for all we know, they could have celebrated Christmas in Janurary because they don't know the date ! Lol but fr sorry this took so long, I just couldn't figure out exactly how I wanted it to go. And I was in a bit of a writing slump after Christmas, then school started and ugh idk. But I'm back now and I've got tons of ideas and I think I wanna open up requests ??? We'll see... anyways, I hope y'all enjoy this very very very late part two to my little Christmas one shot !!!

(Divider made by me :) )

“What did you ask Santa for?” Judith asked as she swung your interlocked hands. Laughing, you told her, “I asked Santa to make sure your wish comes true.” You looked down at the little girl and gave her a big smile. She squealed in excitement and began making plans for you two to go on daily loops of the neighborhood when she got her new skates. You zoned out a bit as she went on, thinking about if you had maybe been too forward with Daryl. Maybe he wasn’t really looking for anything, just flirting with you out of boredom. You made a plan to try and avoid him for the next few days, in hopes that the possible awkwardness will diffuse by the next time you have to go on a run together.

As the two of you finally reached Rick and Michonne’s porch the sun had set, leaving the streets of Alexandria in a dark blue hue. Michonne opened the door and Judith ran inside to tell Rick all about seeing Santa. “Thanks again for taking her, she insisted that you were the one to do it.” Michonne laughed. “It was really no trouble at all, definitely worth it to see Daryl dressed up as Santa.” You laughed in response. “And by the way, she wants rollerskates and a jump rope for Christmas.” You whispered to Michonne. “Ah well, I think I can make a jump rope happen.” You were both thankful that Judith had kept her Christmas wishes simple. “Yeah, shouldn’t be too hard to find. I think I remember seeing rollerskates at that old sports supply store a few towns over. I was gonna grab those for her, I’ll look for a jump rope while I’m out.” The lack of sun was making the air even colder and unfortunately, you had opted for just jeans and a thin long sleeve today. You wrapped your arms around yourself to try and keep warm as you two spoke.

“That would be amazing if you could! God, it’s cold. Do you wanna come in for a minute? We have some soup left over if you want any.” She kindly offered. As enticing as that sounded, you wanted nothing more than to curl up in your own bed and read a bit before going to sleep. You had recently found yourself a thick fluffy comforter that was absolute heaven on the colder nights. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m gonna head back, found some new books the other day I’ve been dying to start.” You gave her a warm smile and she gave you a hug before you turned to leave.

The slight wind from earlier began to pick up as you trudged down the street and back to your house. It was so quiet outside, almost like it was just another normal day and there weren’t dead people walking around just outside these walls. It made you think of before, and the evenings when you would walk home from your grandparent’s house after dinner, the street lights flickering as you walked down the empty streets listening to music. You would give anything to be able to do that just one more time. As you walked past the gazebo, you saw the last family leaving. Daryl stood up and stretched as Carol began to clean up. You slowed your pace just a bit as you got closer. You weren’t planning on stopping, but you were hoping you could get a sense of how Daryl was feeling after that interaction. Hopefully, he would wave if he saw you?

Daryl waved Carol off, telling her that he would take care of it. As she turned to leave, she spotted you, calling out “Hi (Y/N)! Thanks for stopping by!” You gave her a smile and a nod as you continued walking. Daryl hadn’t said anything, so you assumed he had felt weird about what happened. You began to pick up your pace just a bit before you heard, “Hey!” Turning around, you saw Daryl at the gazebo waving you over. Maybe it hadn’t been as awkward as you thought… hopefully.

You slowly turned and headed in the direction of the gazebo, its dull twinkling lights being the only thing shining through the dark. As you approached, Daryl slowly walked towards you. When you two finally met at the steps, he gave you a warm smile. “I hope Jude had a good time meetin’ Santa.” He said, with air quotes around the ‘Santa’. You laughed a warm laugh and replied, “Yeah, I think she did. Not sure if she actually believed you were ‘Santa’, but I think she had fun.” He chuckled and a small silence filled the space between you, but it didn’t feel awkward. If anything, it kinda felt…comfortable. You looked down at your feet, trying yet again to hide the warmth on your cheeks. The wind blowing around you making it cold enough that you had to wrap your arms around yourself again.

“Oh, here, lemme give ya this,” Daryl said, running up the steps to grab his coat. As he came back to you, you tried to argue, “No, really it's fine, I’m not that cold.” But the chatter in your teeth told him otherwise. “You don’t always gotta be like that,” He said, as he walked behind you to drape his coat over your shoulders. When he positioned himself back in front of you, he grabbed the two sides and pulled them tighter around you. “Like what?” You asked, confusion obvious in your voice. “Ya know, like yer always fine and dun need help. Puttin’ others ahead of yerself.” He chuckled, “I know yer gonna say now that I need it more than ya do, and yer warm enough with that thin long sleeve on.”

“I was not gonna say that…” you tried to retort, but he knew you better than that. He gave you a knowing look and you couldn’t hold back your smile. “I would have worded it differently.” You both chuckled and returned to the silence, just staring into each other's eyes. It was almost pitch black out now, but the dim glow of the moon and the string lights lit the small area around you. Daryl looked angelic in the soft warm light, and you couldn’t keep yourself from breaking eye contact to look at his lips. He smirked, the movement bringing you back to reality. “So what does Santa want for Christmas?” you tried, being half flirty, but also half serious. Talk about someone who's hard to get gifts for…

“I think Santa,” he started, stepping closer to you. You kept your arms wrapped tightly around yourself and looked up at him through your lashes as he got close enough that you could feel just a whisper of his hot breath on your face. The smell of cigarettes brushed past your nose as he continued, “Would like to find his Ms.Claus fer Christmas.” You tried not to look shocked as he spoke in a low tone. As cool as you could, you leaned closer to him and whispered, “Is that so?” He smirked at you again and gently reached up to brush a strand of hair out of your face. His fingers were soft but warm, and that warmth burned through you as he moved his hand to cup the side of your head. “Mhm,” he replied as he leaned in towards your face.

You were so close now, that your noses almost touched. Every exhale he made swept across your face like the wind from a flame at a campfire. The smell of cigarettes had never smelled so enticing before, and you felt like you could get a buzz just from breathing him in. You weren’t sure if time had actually slowed, or if you were just so comfortable around him that the silence wasn’t noticeable. You opened your mouth slightly, to breathe out “That’s funny, because what I really wanted for Christmas was to be Ms. Claus…”

If time had been slowed before, now someone had hit fast forward. It happened so quickly but so smoothly that you didn’t even have time to register what was going on. At some point, Daryl had wrapped his free hand around your waist and pulled you in closer. Using that hand that was cradling your head, to tilt it slightly upwards so that your lips landed right on his. He tasted sweeter than you would have thought, and you basked in the taste for a moment before you started to match his movements. It was a tender and gentle kiss, but you could feel the need and desire behind it. Like it was second nature, you unwrapped your arms from around your sides and brought your hands up to his head, tangling your fingers in his long locks. He moaned slightly into your mouth, causing you to grip and tug lightly at his hair.

He exhaled roughly and gripped your waist tighter, pulling you into him as much as he could. You felt yourself slightly leaning in his grip, your knees beginning to feel like they would give out. The way you moved against each other was like a practiced dance, like you had been doing this for years and didn’t know any different. It felt right, and you didn’t understand how you had survived before without this. Slowly, he broke the kiss and pulled back enough to rest his forehead against yours. The both of you were so out of breath, that you just stood there for a moment, exhaling into each other's mouths.

When you finally came back down, you removed your hands from his hair and rested them on his shoulders. He moved his to the small of your back, thumbs gently rubbing in soothing circles. “I think my Christmas wish just came true…” You whispered to him, this time not trying to hide your blush or bite back your smile. “Mine too” He replied, mirroring your grin. He leaned down again to quickly peck you on the lips before grabbing the fallen coat on the ground. You had been so mesmerized in the moment, that you didn’t even notice it falling off. “Now let's get ya home. It’s too cold for a pretty little thang like ya out here.” He chuckled as he put the coat back on you.

You looked at him with so much love and adoration that it made his heart flutter. He put his arm around your shoulder and the two of you walked toward your house. The walk was short and quiet, the two of you basking in the silence of the world. All the houses were dark as you walked down the sidewalk, and the moon was now the only source of light. As you approached your house, you both walked up the steps and you turned to look at him as you rested your back against the door. He leaned down to rest one hand above your head and gently grabbed your waist with the other.

Smiling, he spoke in a low voice, “Now are you gonna invite me in? Or am I gonna have ta come down yer chimney?” You couldn’t help but giggle. You glanced down at your feet for a moment, trying to calm your heart rate, before looking up at him and biting your lip. Slowly, you leaned in, looking up at him through your lashes, “I’ll invite you in,” taking a beat to stare at his lips before making eye contact again and continuing, “If you promise to also come down my chimney…” With that he moved his hand from above your head to the doorknob, holding your waist so you didn’t fall as he opened the door.

The next morning the two of you tried to stagger your exits in hopes of preventing rumors from spreading around the small community. Daryl had left out your back door about thirty minutes earlier, while you took a little extra time to get ready (and to dress yourself carefully enough to hide the marks on your neck). As you left the house, you spotted Carol and Judith in the garden and headed their way.

“Hi Jude!” You called out as you approached the two. “Aunt (Y/N)!” she shouted as she ran towards you to give you a hug. You knelt down to catch the little girl and picked her up. She started telling you all about the tricks she was gonna do with her new jump rope when she got it as you walked toward Carol. “Thanks again for setting all that up.” You told her as you set Judith down. “Of course! I’m glad you had fun.” She replied then looked down at Judith. The two of them shared a look that confused you. “What?” you said, laughing. The two of them looked at you and then back to each other, Judith bursting out in laughs while Carol tried to hold hers in. “Oh nothing,” Carol said as she looked back again at Judith, the little girl unable to stop giggling.

“Aunt Carol said she saw Aunt (Y/N) kissing Santa Claus!” The little girl squealed before running to hide behind Carol, her laughs never ceasing. You stared at Carol with a shocked look and were speechless. You tried to stutter some sort of explanation, but nothing was coming out. “I-Um-It wasn’t-We just-” Every sound you made just made it worse. Little Judith started skipping around the garden in circles chanting, “(Y/N) kissed Santa Claus! (Y/N) kissed Santa Claus!” You tried to hide your face with your hands in embarrassment, “Oh my God.” Was all you could finally say. “Oh honey,” Carol said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “We’ve all been wondering when it would finally happen” You dragged your hands down your face before meeting her eyes. “I also saw that Santa spent the night, but we can keep that between us” She whispered in your ear.

“OH MY GOD. OKAY. BYE! SEE YOU GUYS LATER!” You said as you turned and walked away. You could hear the two of them laughing behind you as you speed-walked away. You turned back and rolled your eyes at them in a playful way so that they knew you weren’t upset…just embarrassed…very embarrassed. You couldn’t wait to see Daryl later and find out how they had harassed them. Your heart sped up at the thought of seeing him again, sure it may be a bit embarrassing to feel like a schoolgirl in love, but it also felt good. Like finally, your heart was starting to beat again after having been still since the world ended. Your Christmas wish definitely came true.

eeee okay I hope y'all liked it <3 I only proof read this once so I will go back in and edit it more later today, I just didn't wanna wait any longer posting this !!! ok I love you all <333

(ps also should I make a tag list ? Like would anyone even be interested in being notified the 2 times a year I post ? lol)

#daryl dixon #twd daryl #daryl #twd daryl dixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon oneshot #daryl x reader

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empty-like-my-soul · 3 months ago

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IM BACK IN THE FREAKING BUILDING

do y'all ever think about the survivors of Evo/the Evo collapse and what happened to them

And when I say survivors, I don't mean the guys that got trapped in a death game time loop I mean like. The guys who basically got away unscathed. Like, what happened to Zee? What happened to Salem? What happened to Tom, or Mini? What happened to Netty??

I find this line of thought really interesting, so I prepared some headcannons based on how their channels are doing. Also I'm anxious so I'm including this disclaimer: THESE ARE ALL HEADCANNONS SO THEY'RE NOT TO BE INTERPRETED AS CANON. I DON'T KNOW WHAT EXPLANATION THERE IS IN CANNON, IF THERE IS ANY. Also Netty is still Martyn's wife in my Evo headcannon verse because I love her and Martyn is a convenient stepping stone

So first, let's start with the most boring: Salem is dead. I'm sorry Salem lovers, but her last video published is Evo and I can't find anything else. She died during the tragedy, it was inevitable for at least one person to die during that anyway. o7 Salem, gone too soon.

Next, Tom(ohawk) just kinda... fell off the face of the earth. Salem was one of his friends, same with Grian, who was taken, and in his grief he let himself loose contact with the others. He wasn't all that social anyway, so going off the grid wasn't hard at all. Nowadays he's doing... Something. I'm not sure what, but I'm sure that's just the way he would like it. He knows nothing about the rekidnapping or whatever.

Third, Zee buries himself in his work to try and ignore the problem. He keeps on inventing things, working on projects, and doing scientific testing at an almost frantic rate. He's burning himself out, surely, but it's better to die creatively than to think about what happened. Workoholic man who honestly terrifies me.

Fourth, Mini goes out and makes new friends. He needs a support system, but he can't bear to think about his old friends anymore after that. So he makes new friends, and only partially works though his grief. He regrets leaving them behind but he's happier now, and isn't that all that matters?

Fifth, and finally, Netty. She makes the great choice of staying, coping, and grieving with her best friend and her husband (Jimmy and Martyn respectively). It's going well, and they're making great, if non-linear, progress on their healing journey. There are always bad days, but together, they work through it. And then Martyn and Jimmy get re-kidnapped, and she's alone. She notifies the proper authorities, tells Martyn's old yogscast friends, and tries to find them. After about a year, everyone gives up. She tries to keep hope but it's lost all too easily every day they don't come back. She eventually manages to move on and live her life despite everything that happened to her. Whatever happens afterwards happens.

Anyway, that's all I have. At least, until the 21st... Hehehe

#evo smp #evolution smp #headcanon #Salemlady #Tomahawk #SystemZee #MiniMuka #nettyplays #Short snippet of what I'm working on:#8!5-3)855)3299$ has joined the world.#Wish it was more substantial but I can't find any cool lines yet.#elms speaks

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mudandmire · 9 months ago

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✨Azris time-loop AU✨

UPDATE - - -

16k folks! It's not polished in the slightest, also not done, but man am I having fun. I had no idea so many people love time-loop aus!! This is so exciting, I feel like a mouse who found a little mouse colony 🐁

...I think I've gotten to a point where I hate my writing because I want it to get better but also I know it's getting better by objective comparison but also the progress is so slow and I'm so wordy so all my scenes are like over 1k words and it's a pain in my ASS anyway 😎

moral of the story is to never trust what you think about your writing (by extension yourself) after 9pm.

I have SNIPPETS come and get y'all food

---

The archer is somewhere else this time. Eris takes too long trying to find him, and by then it's too late. Rhur goes down with the bodily thunk of an arrow meeting its mark. His form crumpling to the ground as it spears right into his chest, spurting blood as he falls onto his back, the bones of his wings crunching beneath his dead weight.

Rhav is lost soon after. Caught in the throes of devastation, he doesn't see the archer draw another arrow and aim again. Eris's shout of his name falls on ringing ears, and though he throws a lash of flame at the archer, he looses his arrow before the fire can scorch him.

The brother falls. His body splayed beside his kin.

Eris knows, then, this cycle he will not win. Not that there was much hope, but his mind is scattered with how quickly things went wrong. He doesn't even hear the draw of a bow—larger than the ones made for slinging across the back. Wildly, his eyes scan his surroundings taking nothing in. It's only Azriel's voice, rising loud and panicked above his own panting breath, that he's able to break through the wave of hopelessness that had overcome him.

Too late.

The heavy twang of a bow string. Eris's hair stands on end at the sound of a whistle, high and soft as air behind him—Azriel's war cry is lost to darkness.

Eris opens his eyes to the yawning, black mouth of the roof of his tent. His eyes are wide, he can feel his lids stretch in panic as he pats himself down from head to chest to abdomen. A quick death. He can't help the relieved swallow as he tips his head back, squeezing his eyes closed.

Stuck in the pitch black of his tent, the ground cold and hard beneath him, Eris curls up on his side. Dreading the light. Dreading the loud footsteps of Anton signaling the start of another cycle. His breath is entirely locked away in his chest—tightened and painful as he brings his knees up to his sternum. As close as he can get to being small enough to wink out of existence.

Something solid presses through the thin stuffing of his pillow and into the side of his face. Too hard to be the earth, it rises like a crest from beneath and Eris feels dread slide down his spine.

The dagger. Azriel's Cauldron-forsaken weapon Eris had foolishly taken from the ruins that first day. Looking back, he doesn't know if it was in some misguided sense of remorse or remembrance. Either way his lip curls up in a snarl at the thought of its ornate onyx hilt.

A thought dawns; sharp and bright as the dagger under his head. If he could destroy it, would it end the endless days? It sends a foolish spark of hope, burning as a carefully tended fire, into his chest.

Eris works quickly, knowing the sun is not so far away now. He cannot be there when Anton comes—he firmly shoves away the intrusive thought that if this works he'll be able to explain why he wasn't there. Steps at a time; the dagger, his armor, his sword, his pack. Night settles around the camp in a blanket, dawn just barely on the cusp of the horizon, that bleary, opaque blue lightening the sky beyond. The darkness is scattered around the torches, set every couple of feet down the row of tents. Even at such a quiet hour, the faint sound of talking between the guards on watch prick Eris's sensitive ears. He makes sure to walk on light feet—in the way his armor won't brush and clink and give him away.

The stables are too far, makeshift and holding supplies Eris knows will be heavily guarded against thieves. Instead, he aims for a group of stallions near a trough. There's packs of horses everywhere, not enough room in the camp to set up a stable for hundreds of them.

Eris's breaths fogs in front of his face, steaming against his night-chilled skin as he ducks behind the spread of a canvas tent as two guards pass in front of the torchlight.

Their chatter fades, Eris makes his quick dash across the field for the tied up horses. A sleek, black friesian had caught his eye.

Apart from light, it moves like an oil-slick shadow. Eris is careful, walking crouched and slow towards them. These aren't war horses, not like how the Spring and Autumn court bred them.

They snort at his presence, heads dipping and thick lashes fluttering as they stamp a hoof on the ground.

"Shh," Eris hushes them, no louder than an exhale. The night is waning, he can make out the edges of tents and the makeshift buildings now.

"Shh, easy," he says again, taking each step cautiously towards the friesian.

Eris knows from his time with his hounds and in the Forest House's stables, how to handle a spooked horse. Hopefully—he begs against the pounding of his heart—it doesn't come to that. The friesian blinks his big, lake-dark eyes at him when Eris approaches. He doesn't shift nor flinch when Eris runs careful, soothing palms up the side of his muzzle, a gentle caress against the smooth pelt.

"Good." He whispers, easily untying the knot of its reins on the fence post in front of him.

"I apologize for dragging you away," the reins come loose, and he slips them over the friesian's head, "I promise you will not come to harm, friend."

The friesian does not say anything back, his mild manner relaxing Eris's tense shoulders ever so slightly.

They cannot stay long, though, Eris knows. Keeping careful eye on the progress of dawn—sooner or later Anton will come to his tent and find him missing.

"Come." Eris leads the stallion away from the group, getting nothing but a snort in response as he jolts into a heavy-boned trot.

Eris hadn't thought very hard about which direction he would go, he only knew where he wouldn't. The mountains to the east morph to a stunning shade of violet this early in the morning. Gathered around its roots are the dark, tangled shadows of a forest.

Quickening his movements, Eris attaches his pack to the friesian's saddle, hefting himself up with one more comforting pat to the strong neck. One touch of his hand to his hip lets him know the dagger is still there. It's not a comfort, yet he breathes a sigh of relief and leans forward over the stallion's back.

Their escape is gentle—quiet. Though it's difficult to make a horse's hooves silent, if not impossible, so Eris keeps his body tucked as close to the saddle as possible.

The tents are beginning to thin out, dry, sun-worn land crunching under hooves as Eris begins to relax.

"Hey!" Eris's ears perk up at the same time his heart tumbles down from his chest into his stomach.

"Hey—someone help me get this horse!"

One of the guards walking the camp grounds calls out, most likely to his partner on duty. Eris takes a quick glance over his shoulder, revealing the soldier in all his fine, shining armor glinting in the light of a torch in his hand.

Eris's eyes narrow, and with a ripple of heat in his irises, the torch in the guards hand flares. A flame jumps out, tall and licking at the empty sky. The soldier yells in alarm, dropping it as stray sparks fly into his face.

A quick kick of his heels into the friesian's flank sends them off into the direction of the dark boundary of the forest. Eris leaves the clamor of the guards behind him, settling into his seat and trying to get a handle on his pulse as he does on the reins.

The friesian works up to a canter quickly. The dense, strong muscle of his body moving under Eris as he shifts in his seat. He had been riding since he was a boy, ponies no taller than his hounds, until his feet could comfortably fit into the stirrups. It is not new to him, so acclimating is easy enough as they bolt across the landscape, racing for the safety of the shadows.

---

the amount of times I've killed Azriel so far in this draft is insane. I'm trying to make it, like, respectful? It's not death for deaths sake, y'know, I don't wanna kill him just because, but I need to it's necessary. I'm playing the game "how many ways can I describe someone dying" and it's....something. that's for damn sure.

Also I made a map 👉👈 I can't plan battles for SHIT and though I love the artistic-ness of the Prythian map I can't envision anything being anywhere. so. enjoy my crappy little rendition of dawn and day court, not the whole of Prythian cause that would be ridiculous, but I needed something cause my brain just can't picture places I guess

✨ta daa✨ (thank you Inkarnate)

Tag-list: (lemme know if you want on or off)

@chunkypossum @c-starstuff-man0 @molcat07 @futurehunt

#wip thursday #yes its a thing #azris #azriel x eris #azris fanfiction #it will be azris at some point yall just gotta bear with me #midterms are coming up im dying

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zzzjpeg · 5 days ago

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Yall are being so delusional tbh. I was in the shifting community for more than a year before letting it aside as i am not considering myself a shifter anymore.

Okay so im a retired "shifter" and a loa applier, no offense to all of you that are trying to 'cause you do you, but im just tryna explain something. Please read the whole post, those things really need clarification and someone to light up the situation and give solutions to it.

1 : imo shifting is not manifesting. Shifting is manifested IN VAIN (in this community)

- of course manifestation is instant, but your manifestations aren't which makes your shift not happen as it will never if you continue this way.

I see many posts talking about shifting = manifesting which can be right of course you decide the rules but why are some of yall just ditching those words and not applying them ? Its just ridiculous cause why are we thinking that shifting is SO chocking if manifestation literally is BELIEVING that its easy and there's nothing to it? You're just making shifting something apart from manifestation which shouldn't be and that makes it prolly unachievable .

2 : stop, please stop scripting about a life you're supposed to be living rn and be like "when i'll be there, xyz will happen"

Oh my god this is soooo pathetic guys...

you're literally supposed to be there not scripting about it like what in the logic is this and im not saying yeah logic n science is the key NO of course not but please just understand : manifesting is you decide, you get ,thats all.

ok so like you're telling me the night before you attempted shifting having in your head that shifting = manifesting and woke up with a failed attempt (as always) then complain about it, go scroll on tumblr or wtv app u use for this, and then complete your script? Do i really have to explain how stupid this is ? Didnt we learn from the past years ? What the fuck? You're stuck in a loop. you're making yourself suffer. You're going to get yourself hopes that will never achieve. Wake the fuck up and stop making yourself live hell.

Note (not hating just wondering) : This is for People wishing to be in a movie or anime or anything fictional are y'all ok? This is just so weird to me why are yall doing this ? Characters are fictional, YOU made them fictional, your brain processes their existence as fictional now how the fuck do you want to be with that are y'all really so down bad about not being with them when theyre like non existant please 😭😭😭 anyway seek therapy asap if u think like this please im worried for u and you really seem like you hate your current life so much seek. Help. Please and wake up im literally so like what the flip

3 : you do not have the mental to shift. You just do not, you try to, but you dont as you still see shifting as something big and in the back of your mind : unachievable.

Just as u read it. Ofc u can have it cause again, its your life but i doubt you will tbh cause you consider it as something hard and as i Said : big.

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Okay so let me pursuade you of something else better

You have this life, youre the creator of it as youre in it, so control it! Make it your own movie, make your own crushes make what suite your taste the best and customize it from head to toe. This information is way easier for your mind to process, right ? After reading all that u feel like you can do this but not shift? Its in the same pedestal as shifting. Please change your beliefs and get the blockages out of your way.

That's right, im not a shifter anymore but ive made my current life my story by manifesting things, and im loving it so much, so ive shifted. You entered a new realm, met your favourite characters that youve been writing about for years/months/weeks/days now, you you've manifested. My point here : its the same shit.

You know Whats lamentable ? Is that you're the only one making it hard for yourself. You know yourself more than anyone does so i cant give any advice but : trust yourself, believe in whathever you'd like, never listen to others because you are and the are not.

Yes, you can do whathever and that includes shifting, of course what i said in this post is 100% my beliefs and mine only, as they align with what i personally want, but they do not have to align with you, please find yourself, find what you really want, make yourself get out of the loop...

Good Luck guys ! there's nothing more i have to say 🤍

#law of assumption #loa success #loa tumblr #manifestation #current reality #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifting community #the void state #loassblog #loa blog #manifesting #neville goddard #robotic affirming

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perotovar · 2 years ago

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into the beat of the night (ch 5) "human fly"

gif by me

pairing: frankie morales/oc!river price (they/them) rating: M chapter warnings: swearing, (2) ptsd induced panic attacks, discussions of drugs (cocaine), hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption, this one is a little heavier y'all (but it's me so it's still soft) word count: 3.3k dividers by @saradika-graphics beta/co-writer: @scenaaario (seriously she helped so much with this chapter, pls send her some love ♥)

for notifications, follow @oakslibrary and turn on alerts ♥

series summary: frankie thought he had himself figured out by now. he liked both men and women, had dated both in the past. but when someone that challenges what he thinks that means comes into his life, in an unlikely place, he truly learns who he is, and more importantly, who he loves.

series masterlist

Frankie, River, Santiago, and Benny were standing in line waiting to get into The Night Owl. Will had to work and couldn’t make it, but he let them know it really wasn’t his scene anyway and wished them all a good night.

River squeezed Frankie’s hand, looking up at him. “You’re such a trooper letting me get you all dolled up today,” they giggled, kissing his cheek.

“I’m surprised how good it looks on him, to be honest,” Benny smirked.

Frankie sighed and rolled his eyes, cheeks pink. He was dolled up by Frankie standards, and having a hard time not fussing with River’s hard work. They had slicked his hair back, and the gel felt like a helmet. He was hyper aware of the eyeliner now rimming his eyes and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He did everything in his power not to touch his eyes and smudge the thick kohl. Despite his discomfort, even he had to admit he looked good. His hair was smoother than any of them had ever seen it, and the eyeliner emphasized the complexity of his deep brown eyes. River’s eyes dragged over his broad shoulders and grinned at the borrowed shirt he now wore, the delicate mesh pulled taut over his back.

Fake jewelry adorned Frankie’s ears and neck, making River grin. Their eyes traveled down the broad expanse of Frankie’s torso and landed on his soft middle. Frankie was apprehensive about how tight the mesh shirt was, saying that he didn’t want his tummy to poke out too much. River’s kisses to the soft flesh convinced him to go with it. Their arms wrapped around Frankie’s middle and squeezed appreciatively.

“Y’know, now that I’m seeing you all put together like this, you kind of remind me of an older version of someone I used to know,” River hummed thoughtfully.

Santiago snorted and dug his hands under his armpits. “Ay dios mio…” he mumbled under his breath.

“Yeah. Kid went by Dio, but I guarantee he couldn’t tell you a single song by him,” River rolled their eyes, exhaling exasperatedly. “Ended up going to jail for stabbing someone.”

Frankie blinked before barking out a laugh. “That makes me feel great, Río, thanks.”

“No problem,” they smirked, getting up on their toes to kiss him properly, pressing their lips delicately to his so their lipstick wouldn’t smear.

The four of them finally stepped into the club, the walls bouncing with the music. Benny was like a kid in a candy store, eyes wide and excited as he took in all the people. He made his way up to the bar, Viper giving him a look before making him a drink, and Frankie grinned. “I think he likes the place,” he chuckled, looping his arms around River’s waist from behind and kissing their jaw.

“I think so, too. I hope Anya is here tonight.”

“Anya?”

River turned and smirked, putting their finger over their lips as they winked. “It’s a surprise for Benny. I’ve been meaning to find someone for her for a while now and I think he’s perfect.”

An amused look crossed Frankie’s features. He turned to say something to Santiago, but the other man was missing. Frankie furrowed his brows and looked around, one of the clip-ons slightly hitting his cheek as he turned his head. He scanned the room and his eyes finally landed on Santi, already chatting up a pretty girl with dark skin and bright, unnatural contacts in her eyes. Frankie turned back to River, grinning to himself. He’ll catch up with him later.

“You weren’t kidding about these Snakebites, Fish,” Benny’s booming voice brought Frankie’s attention back toward the bar. Ben handed Frankie a matching drink as he took a swig.

“They have other drinks, you know,” River snorted.

Frankie smiled before shrugging. He pressed his hand to their lower back as he guided them over to a cluster of tables. He bit his lip, searching for an empty one.

Suddenly, River gasped and took off, running over to hug a plump woman excitedly. Ben raised his eyebrows and Frankie made an I-don’t-know sound. He moved closer to the pair as River excitedly spoke to the woman, who was giggling loudly. She was really pretty, with a medium skin tone, and her round face bright and more heavily made up than River’s. She wore a lace dress that ended at her thick thighs, and heeled boots with spikes on them. Her hair was short and bleached a bright white.

River felt Frankie’s presence and grinned as he wrapped his arms around their waist, resting his chin on their shoulder. “This must be him,” the woman smiled, her voice soft but with an intrinsic power underneath. He could practically feel the confidence rolling off her in waves. “I thought you said he looked like a truck driver?” she asked, raising a brow.

“Anya, please,” River laughed, holding onto Frankie’s wrists. “He let me get him all dressed up tonight, I promise he does normally.”

Frankie sighed and hid his burning cheeks in River’s neck. He reached a hand out toward Anya, keeping the other secure around River’s waist. “I’m Frankie,” he smiled.

Anya shook his hand and grinned. “You’re being good to them, right? Because if you’re not, I will find you,” she threatened, eyes hard and serious.

Frankie gulped, his eyes going wide, and nodded jerkily. “P-promise.”

“Good,” she grinned. “Anya. And who’s this puppy?” She turned her eyes toward Benny looking over him with an unreadable expression on her face.

Benny was speechless, gazing in adoration at her. He held his drink close and smiled softly, but still didn’t respond, like he didn’t hear her.

“Benjamin,” Frankie mumbled, trying to cover it with a cough.

Benny snapped out of it and shook his head, cheeks red. “S-sorry! I’m Ben,” he smiled wide, holding his hand out for Anya to shake.

Anya looked at his hand accusingly, then looked at Frankie and River with a raised brow, and looked back at Benny. She took his hand and shook it. She must have determined he was a good one because her face softened, a smile blooming on her face. “Hi, Ben.”

River and Frankie exchanged looks before sneaking off to find a spot to sit. When they couldn’t find one, they decided to head for the dance floor instead.

“So, that was Anya,” Frankie laughed, hands on River’s waist as they swayed together.

River hummed and nodded. “Was I right, or was I right?” They smirked, taking a look at the two of them talking animatedly at the bar.

A softness crossed Frankie’s features before he pressed a light kiss to their forehead. “I’m gonna use the bathroom. Be right back, ok?”

River nodded and tapped him on the shoulders before going back to dancing.

Frankie made his way over to the club’s men’s room. As he stood at the sink, he analyzed his look in the mirror, deciding it was growing on him. He wouldn’t keep it, but he didn’t hate it either.

The sound of someone snorting in a stall behind him stopped Frankie in his tracks. He felt his entire body go cold as a shiver ran through him, his eyes slamming shut. He took a deep breath and held it, opening his eyes in time to see a man stumbling out of the bathroom, frantically wiping his nose. Frankie exhaled and looked down at his shaking hands, rubbing his thumb over the black nail polish. He took a minute to collect himself before he made his way back into the club, looking for River and the guys.

River was walking over to Viper from the dance floor and pantomimed drinking something. He poured them a glass of water and they drank it gratefully. They made eye contact with Frankie over the rim of the glass and they set it down, excitedly bouncing over to him.

Frankie felt a rush of warmth at the sight of his partner and his racing heart slowed a little, lacing their fingers through his own. River kissed his cheek before they walked over to where Benny and Anya were still chatting.

“I see things are going well,” River grinned, winking at Anya. Anya rolled her eyes, but smiled up at them. Benny looked at Frankie and did a double take, noticing the pinched look on his face before anyone else did. He caught Frankie’s eye, concern growing on his face. Frankie nodded, squeezing River’s hand a little tighter. Benny seemed to take that and turned back to Anya.

“I was just going to ask this lovely lady if she’d give me her number,” Ben rumbled, looking over Anya’s form appreciatively before landing on her face and holding her gaze. Anya’s cheeks warmed as she held her hand out for Ben to hand her his phone.

River turned to Frankie and smiled. “We should check and see if we can find Santi.”

Frankie swallowed the lump in his throat, his heart pounding, before he croaked out, “He’s probably making out with that girl he was talking to.” He sniffled twice.

River nodded and squeezed his hand, noticing the tightness of his features. The furrow in his brow seemed to deepen by the minute, and his gaze bounced frantically around the room. They could tell something was up, but didn’t want to press the issue. At least not here.

“I’ll go find him,” Frankie muttered quietly before walking off to find Santiago. He made his way over to the women’s restrooms, placed next to the all-gender bathroom, and smiled to himself. Santiago had the same pretty girl from before pressed against the wall and, just as Frankie thought, was heavily making out with her, her arms around Santi’s neck.

Frankie cleared his throat and grinned, crossing his arms over his chest. He was still shaking, but trying his hardest to suppress his trembling. Santiago pulled away from the girl, her lipstick smeared across his mouth.

“Hey, Fish,” Santiago mumbled, licking his kiss-swollen lips. “What can I do ya for?”

“Uh,” Frankie chuckled uneasily. “I think River and I are gonna head out. I, uh…” he shuffled on his feet a little. “It’s getting a little crowded, and I just…”

Santi turned serious, quietly whispering something to the girl before turning his attention back to Frankie. She waited patiently, smiling at the back of Santiago’s head.

“You okay, Frank?” Santiago leaned closer to his friend, placing a reassuring hand on Frankie’s shoulder.

Frankie gulped and nodded, looking down at his black boots. The warmth from Santi’s palm seemed to ground him. “Yeah, I’m just… tired,” he lied, forcing a smile. “I’ll text you, okay?”

Santiago narrowed his eyes, but nodded, giving Frankie a once over. “Alright. I’ll make sure Benny gets home.”

“Thanks, Pope.”

Frankie slapped Santiago on the shoulder before turning away to find River. He had to get out of here, and quick. His palms were sweating and it was getting harder to breathe the longer he stayed. The sound of that guy sniffing played on a tormenting infinite loop.

He hadn’t had an episode like this in a long time, and he guessed that’s why it was happening. He should’ve expected there to be something like this at a nightclub, but it still felt like it came out of nowhere . He shut his eyes and took a deep breath before grabbing River’s hand again.

“Hey,” they smiled, a pinch of worry on their face. “Everything okay?”

Frankie bit his lip and nodded jerkily. “Y-yeah, uh. Do you think we could go home?”

River’s heart skipped a beat at the insinuation that River’s apartment was home, for both of them. Frankie already planned on staying over at River’s that night. “Of course, babe.”

A genuine smile grew on Frankie’s lips and he nodded, kissing their cheek softly.

“I already told Anya and Ben to use protection and they nearly hit me for it,” River chuckled, walking Frankie out of the club and toward his truck. Frankie’s hands were still shaking as he grabbed for his keys. “You want me to drive?” River asked, holding out their hand.

Frankie battled with himself for a second before nodding, handing his keys over to them. “Thank you,” he mumbled, making his way over to the passenger seat.

The drive home was quiet. Frankie was obsessively picking at his nails, not used to having polish covering them. River kept looking over at Frankie worriedly, unsure what was going on. They knew he’d tell them when he was ready but they couldn’t help but feel useless at this moment.

Once they were inside River’s apartment, Frankie quietly untied his boots and went to the bathroom to clean all the stuff off his face. River got Jonsey his food for the night and went into their bedroom, changing into boxer briefs and Frankie’s Iron Maiden t-shirt. Once changed, they knocked on the bathroom door softly. “You decent?”

They heard a few sounds on the other side of the door, mostly of the fake piercings hitting the counter, before he answered shakily, “Yeah, c’mon in.”

River opened the door and smiled sadly at Frankie’s now-bare face. “There he is,” they smiled, stepping further into the small bathroom to hold his face. They kissed the tip of his nose and pressed their hands on his broad chest. “Go get comfy and I’ll be there in a sec, ok?”

Frankie nodded, almost on autopilot, and made his way into River’s bedroom to change.

When River made their way back into their bedroom, their own face now bare and hair pulled back in a loose braid, Frankie was already curled up in the blankets. His bare back faced them as he lay on his side, so River crawled into the sheets to wrap their arms around him. They cuddled his back close to their chest, rubbing their hands over his soft tummy comfortingly.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” River asked softly into Frankie’s curls, now freed from their gelled prison.

Frankie sighed quietly, lacing his fingers with River’s free hand. “In the morning? I promise I will, I just,” he paused. “I just wanna sleep it off first.”

“Of course,” River hummed, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Frankie’s head. “I’ll be here.”

Cold. Heavy rain. A series of gunshots. And then, euphoria.

Frankie startled awake, covered in cold perspiration. He panted hard, trying to blink the room back into view.

River blinked awake, Frankie’s heaving chest rising and falling quickly underneath their hands. “Babe?” they asked, voice thick with sleep.

Cold. Heavy rain. A series of gunshots. And then—

“Frankie,” River’s voice came through clearly, sounding more awake. They tapped on his chest, rolling him onto his back and then pulling him up into a sitting position.

Black spots and blurred vision greeted him as he tried to come back to earth. “I—“ he croaked, starting to cough. He began breathing heavily, shakily.

River’s eyes welled with tears as they watched him, rubbing his back as soothingly as they could. What could they do? They thought about it for a second, then started humming a song softly.

Frankie pressed his large hand to his chest and his throat, trying to get his breathing back to normal. He turned his head to see if he could find someone familiar. When his eyes landed on River’s tired face, a tear fell from his eye. He didn’t want them to see this. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

River continued humming, rubbing soothing circles into Frankie’s back until his heart rate got to a steady rhythm. “Frankie?” they asked softly, eyes searching his pinched face.

Frankie startled a little, almost like he didn’t expect them to say anything. “Riv—“

“Shh, it’s okay. Just making sure you can hear me,” they whispered. They leaned over to kiss his shoulder, the hand not on his back coming up to hold the back of his own hand pressed to his chest. “I’m gonna go get you some water, ok? Don’t move.”

“Nuh,” Frankie mumbled, shaking his head quickly. He wrapped his arms around their waist and pressed his head to their chest. “N-no.”

A shaky breath left River’s lungs, but they nodded, cradling his face and rubbing his back gently. “Alright,” they sighed.

Exhaustion overtook Frankie’s body and he fell asleep. River looked over at their phone on the nightstand and picked it up; 5:28am. They looked at the photo on their lockscreen of Frankie smiling shyly and looking down. They sighed and put the phone down, looking back at Frankie’s sleeping face.

River could wait. They settled back against the pillows and watched the sky outside lighten to a dusty blue, the clouds glowing orange as the sun rose.

When Frankie opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the sun filtering in through the window. Dust motes floated in the shafts of light. His head was pounding.

“You’re awake.”

He lifted his head from River’s chest and saw their yawning face. “Yeah… You’re up early,” he mumbled, biting back his own yawn.

“I never went back to bed,” River smiled sleepily.

Frankie’s face fell. “God, I’m so sorry, mi río.”

River shook their head and sat up against the headboard of the bed. “No, you stop right there. I chose to stay up, okay?” They smiled, rubbing their thumb against his arm. “I wanted to make sure you slept.”

Frankie’s eyes welled with tears and he shook his head, looking down. He took a deep breath before speaking, wanting everything to come out clearly. “I don’t want you to not know what happened,” he looked up at them, big brown eyes glossy. “I don’t want to scare you again,” he whispered.

Heart melting and breaking simultaneously, River nodded in understanding. “Okay. I’m listening,” they said softly.

So, he told them everything. Joining the military at nineteen, figuring himself out. But also what the military did to him mentally, and how he dealt with that. Colombia. River didn’t say much, just taking the time to let Frankie get his thoughts out.

“I understand if this is like, a lot,” Frankie mumbled shakily. He shut his eyes and exhaled. “If you don’t want to—“

“Stop it,” River hummed sadly. “It is a lot to process, but I’m not worried. I mean, I’m worried, because this is something that’s still affecting you, but I’m not going to leave you over this.”

Relief flooded through him and he pressed his forehead against theirs. “How did I get so lucky?” he whispered, smiling softly.

“It was the New Balances. So hot.”

Frankie snorted, his shoulders shaking slightly until he barked out a loud laugh. “Shut the fuck up,” he giggled, tickling their sides.

River squealed with giggles, falling onto their back. Frankie kept going until they had tears streaming down their cheeks and he was hovering over them. They slowly caught their breath, watching each other’s faces quietly.

“Te amo, mi río,” Frankie hummed, cupping their cheek.

River’s heart stopped and they bit their lip. They looked down at Frankie’s collarbone, not answering right away.

Frankie panicked a little, his eyes widening. “Sh-shit, um, I’m sorry—“

“No, it’s okay,” River’s eyes shut as they shook their head a little. They held his hand against their face so he wouldn’t take it away. “I… I’m not sure I’m ready to… to say that back. But I want to. God, do I want to.”

Frankie exhaled shakily and he nodded, cheeks burning.

“It’s just… I haven’t been in a real relationship in a long time. I still… I still identified as a woman when I did. No one’s ever… b-been with me like… like this,” River gulped, finally looking back up into his eyes again. “It’s always just been flings and hookups.”

Frankie was quiet, processing what they were saying. “Okay,” he muttered. “I don’t want you to say it until you’re ready. I just needed to let you know,” he smiled softly.

River’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” he hummed, leaning down to kiss them softly.

#frankie morales #triple frontier #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fluff #frankie morales fic #frankie morales angst #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fluff #triple frontier au #triple frontier angst #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu #oaksfics

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