#anyways follow for more banger content!!!!!

[endl3sshysteria]

hi i made them cockette cowboys i hope u liek :3

[queenhawke]

can't tell you the jumpscare i got from seeing my own tweet on tumblr

[bookofriivelations]

okay, so basically, 1.1 came out. and when i mean 1.1 i mean the new nightmare mode that's been released in the game. the that's not my neighbor brainrot is so real

that means, new npcs, new mechanics, and the return of my favourite peach doppelganger. most of them have awesome and banger designs (as they should!!!) (i am looking at you anastacha and steven nightmare counterparts !!) and the others are just . they go so hard oh my go

and then i realised we have this mf. this is supposed to be francis's nightmare counterpart and right now he looks. yeah. at first i was in disbelief since it was so unexpected that he looks like this?? what happened???

he reminds me of twilight and the onward trolls had a child with each other and this guy is the child 😭😭😭 but who cares anyway, it's just an npc design :³ his name is yog sothoth btw ^^

this may be not the first fanart of him bit im glad i made a wee little contribution to the community lol

follow me for more content like this! reblogging is highly appreciated!!

(ART MADE BY ME. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT CREDIT; DO NOT USE ANY OF MY ARTWORK FOR NFTS + AI LEARNING. THE WATERMARK SAYS SO!)

[iantimony]

hoo baby! hello first Tuesday of 2025!

listening: Usseewa (Ado) Aishite Aishite Aishite (Ado) bangers. girl can SING. and of course the anonymity is very sexy.

Middle Eastern Grooves (Selected by DJ Kobayashi): was tempted by the cool cover art, stayed for the funky jams. this led me to:

Kokoro (Sababa 5 & Yurika): vibey. citypop if it was in MENA.

reading: so I am in the middle of a two week visit home in which I am staying in my childhood bedroom. and I went. man. there sure is a lot of stuff in here that I simply have not thought about or missed since moving out. so I reread Marie Kondo's "Tidying Up" book and went to town. it's been really nice to do! found a few things that I forgot I had and actually am excited to keep and use! mostly got rid of things! her goofy little "thank inanimate objects" thing is unfortunately the exact flavor of personification of objects that my sentimental ass needs, so. yippee. her book has some . interesting. comments on people's weight and etc things which is very weird but also probably of its time and her specific cultural background baggage. I did some poking about her and found this article ("Marie Kondo’s life is messier now — and she’s fine with it" by Jura Koncius, web archive version linked to bypass paywall) which definitely tracks. I can't imagine having kids and following her [gestures] Whole Thing to a tee.

I also rented and started reading "The Sentimental Person's Guide to Decluttering", which opens with a bible quote so I am already a little wary. anyways.

I haven't followed the prescribed konmari order exactly - I left books til towards the end because they are already pretty contained, for example - so I have a few loose ends to finish up with that but we're basically there. sorry Stephen King but I really don't care to hang on to your work Just Because, except for maybe "on writing" because I could see myself rereading that. I have a shitload of old scifi paperbacks that likely do Not spark joy necessarily so if anyone wants a random paperback mailed to them just let me know :b

related to that: I'm reading "Earthlight" by Arthur C. Clark. it's good! slim volume so I'm hoping to finish it before next Tuesdaypost/when I leave town. the setup feels very common - Earth people vs federation of solar system settlers politicking - but there's some fun tidbits that have made me go HUH??? like the moon having an atmosphere (technically true, I guess, but definitely not in the way it's described here), for some reason the sun sets in the east on the moon (???), and MOON PLANTS???? cool moon cacti that are specially adapted to absorb as many gas/water molecules as possible? they have a little window in them??? and at first I was like damn is this meant to be an alternate universe? when I realized that this was written in 1955. so. maybe he did sincerely think there could be moon cacti. some really delicious descriptions in here that I'm enjoying:

"They were moving along a ridge that the sun had already left, but the track of the monorail, scarcely a meter above it, still caught the last rays. It seemed as if they were rushing along an unsupported ribbon of light, a filament of flame built by sorcery rather than human engineering."

caught up on Witch Hat Atelier! it's good! I'm very excited for the next volume to come out next week!

watching: a handful of Leah's Fieldnotes videos as background while I did some cleaning, re-stuffing a pillow, etc. we're the same age which is interesting to me. I have thoughts on her style of content and general vibes that are still cooking in my brain so maybe next time I will elaborate. more Caroline Winkler. some Sorry Girls (there is a theme here clearly). some Kurtis Connor/Danny Gonzalez/Drew Gooden-verse. nothing super notable. oh LegalEagle suing honey! that whips ass definitely. I'm going to avoid linking specific videos each week unless I have Something to say about them.

playing: mostly fallow BUT I am leaving this section in this year out of optimism! my boyfriend commented, and I agreed, that I am definitely missing out on some rich Media Experiences by neglecting the Gamez. this year I really want to play Nier: Automata (which he got me as a gift a while ago), Disco Elysium, and Hades 2. I own the first two already so that's def where I'll start. I'd also like to read umineko but that can go 50/50 as to playing or reading lol

however I DID look at Do you PASS MUSTER?, a solo rpg by @spikekat! it's a vibe!

making: finished One of my mom's fingerless gloves! onto the second! I'm trying to decide if I want to block it or not…probably, just because I did the cabling with a needle half a size too small by accident so there are a few gaps, although maybe using a smaller needle minimized gaps? who knows.

eating: some good New York staples while I'm home but I haven't done much cooking.

moving: new section!! it is mostly empty this week beyond walking the dogs with my mom every day. I am hoping to populate this section with general notes on what worked/didn't work for me each week in the gym, outdoors activities, and so on.

misc: decluttering feels good but I also feel the albatross of the Dead Dad Bins in the basement looming over me. I'm thinking that's a summer activity where I can take breaks to be outside, lol. the goal is basically to have everything such that when I move after my PhD to wherever I'm going next, I can take what's left in my childhood room (books, some of the quality furniture that we scavenged from my dad's apartment, etc) without it being a big deal or strain. I'm definitely approaching that point with my own belongings! I have a few things that should be sold rather than donated but overall I've really pared it down pretty well so I'm pretty pleased about that. I'll probably do a pass over my apartment when I get back too - definitely some clothes come to mind that can be let go without any regret, and I definitely want to pare down some of my craft supplies that are getting a little out of hand. yayyy fresh start to a new year :)

[cricketnationrise]

for the 500 followers fest

23:54

the brownstone

henry

melt by kehlani

are y'all tired of me being like "wow this song is a banger i can't believe i haven't listened to it before" ??? no?

wow this song is a banger i can't believe i haven't listened to it before!

anyway please enjoy possibly the sappiest, softest thing i've ever written

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

11:54pm, the brownstone

Henry tries to enter quietly, on the off-chance that Alex is already asleep—doesn’t want David’s habitual greeting to pull Alex out of mutually much-needed slumber. The muffled strains of Alex’s elle woods my beloved playlist coming down the hall let him know he needn’t have bothered. So he lets his keys clang in the bowl, lets David jump on him with rattling tags, lets his voice carry more than he usually would at almost midnight as he greets his dog.

Henry loves the shelter, loves meeting all the kids, and giving them a space free from unreasonable and unrealistic and unsafe expectations, but even Pez would be running on fumes alone after hour sixteen of an eight hour shift. Unfortunately for Henry, housing emergencies are rarely so obliging as to occur in a respectable nine-to-five window. But Starr is safe now, settled into a room, and even tentatively bonding with her roommate, so Henry can be home.

He makes his way to the second floor den that Alex prefers to study in, huffing out a soft laugh when he hears heavy books closing and the abrupt change of playlists to soft boy hours (gender neutral). He slides open the pocket door and leans against the frame and can’t help the soft smile that takes over his face. At least sixty percent of his tension seems to vanish at the sight of Alex turning towards him, face lighting up with love.

“Weren’t you supposed to stop studying at nine tonight?”

“Well, I was going to stop, but then a certain someone texted to say they didn’t know when they were going to be home and so I had to take drastic measures,” Alex says, finishing packing away his things for class tomorrow.

“David has been spending an inordinate amount of time out on the town,” Henry teases, moving into the room properly, drawn like a magnet toward his boyfriend.

Alex chuckles. “He used to be such a fine, upstanding gentleman, too. Such a shame his behavior’s gone to the dogs.”

“Seems he’s had a bad influence, hanging around with you so often,” Henry says. He steps into Alex’s space and Alex’s arms come up without hesitation. “Hello, love.”

Alex kisses him softly, sweetly. “Glad you’re home, H.” He pulls Henry down onto the couch and Henry wastes no time laying on top of him and curling up on Alex’s chest. He smells like coffee and a hint of cinnamon and the rest of the tension Henry’s been carrying around fades away as Alex strokes along his back. 

Right here, surrounded by Alex on all sides, is Henry’s favorite place in the world. Right here, the public can’t get to him. Right here, he doesn’t have to be a prince, or even a youth shelter director. 

Right here, he can just be Henry.

People always think that Alex never stops talking, but that’s categorically untrue. He talks a lot, certainly, but only when he knows Henry is ready to hear it. The reality is that Alex cares so much and so deeply for Henry, that he’s learned to read Henry’s varied and ever-shifting moods with the smallest cues. Henry’s never been more grateful for Alex’s personalized superpower than tonight, when all he wants to do is rest here with Alex, listening to smooth voices over acoustic guitar and Alex’s heartbeat thudding in time with his own.

Henry sinks into the moment, letting his eyes fall shut in utter contentment. He cherishes every moment he gets with Alex; the novelty of just getting to be with him hasn’t even begun to wear off. Every brush of their fingers sends a spark down his spine. Every time Alex kisses the back of his neck before hip-checking him out of the way in the kitchen is thrilling. Every time he and Alex stroll through Brooklyn with David, hands entwined or around waists or even once in each other’s back pockets, Henry’s hit with a surge of pride. 

But he loves these moments the best—the ones where he can’t tell where he stops and Alex begins. The moments, during or outside of sex, where being this close isn’t close enough for Henry. He wants to invent new ways to be close to someone, just to do them with Alex; wants to be able to crawl inside of Alex and set his watch to the beat of Alex’s heart. Henry wants to share not only his space with Alex, but his breath, his very soul—wants to knit them together so tightly that nothing and no one can unravel the threads connecting their hearts.

Luckily, unbelievingly for Henry—Alex wants the same things.

[foundry-fabrications]

Finally, was starting to think I'd never get anything released! Y'all ready to ROCK?!

Now, just to get this out of the way, I was really hoping to have something else done for y'all by now, that thing being the update to Flesh and Bone I mentioned in my last update post. Mechanically, it's done and has been for a while, and I'm VERY pleased with how it's coming along. However, it's proving to be a frustrating challenge to get it formatted with artwork that doesn't look awful. So, I took a much-needed break to work on something else and it's going on the back burner. It'll be out when it's out.

So what's this new thing I bring before you this day? With my main D&D campaign wrapping up, I've been working on a absolute TON of custom stuff for a new character, so that's taken up a lot of my creative energy. Now that we've had our first session and my work is done, I can pretty it up for y'all!

As one may surmise, I'm playing a heavy metal bard, so I put this together based on a combination of an existing college of metal I found on D&Dwiki and Matt Mercer's college of the maestro. The metalheads among you may have also noticed that yes, each feature and solo are named after metal songs, a lot of bangers too. Having run a combat with it, I'm already really happy with it mechanically and since it's my newest character it will be getting LOTS of playtesting. 

Another thing to mention is the little sidebar at the end. For this campaign I'm playing the 2024 playtest version of the new bard so that's what this was originally built for.  However, since most won't be playing it, I reworked it for the existing bard and added a way to "update" it for the new one for those who want it. For future content I would like to do something similar depending on how extensive the changes are, but we'll see how things shake out.

Anyway, I'm really pleased with how it turned out. A little sparse in the art department, but I think the theme I picked does a lot to carry it. Plus, I genuinely couldn't come up with anything that looked better, so hey, I'm not gonna let perfect be the enemy of done.

Anyway, that's all I got for now. So glad to actually be working on stuff again. Stay safe, don't forget to love each other, and I'll see you again soon.

Enjoy my work? Consider leaving me a Tip or supporting me on Patreon! Patrons gain access to high quality PDFs for all of my content, weekly updates, early access, and more!

Want to hang out with other followers and myself, talk about games, and share ideas? Come join my Discord!

[randomperson0k]

i genuinely forgot i can post things on tumblr. oopsie! anyways i just came to this realisation right now so heres stuff

last 3 images are aus for my au / headcanon thing idk what to call that abomination anymore and 1st image is just doodles

i feel bad for the people who followed me for my non tgs stuff and are now being drowned by twinks im so so sorry but im stuck in the deep end i cant escape this hell of my own design [joke]

anyways ignore that follow me for more banger content very very good good job me good job clap clap clap clap SHRIMP ATTACK 💥💥🦐🦐💥🦐💥💥💥💥

i need to stop rambling in my posts

[klunkcat]

2024 Writing Roundup

tagged by @goodlucktai MWAH <3

Words Posted:

92,074

Additional Words Written:

the sheer magnitude of my google doc file count consisting of half buried wips and also rambles about my own dnd character would kill a small child

Fandoms:

TMNT

Trigun

its weird bc I was into like several things this year but also nothing stuck in my old brain soup so here's hoping 2025 makes me more deranged in new and exciting ways

Highest kudos + Highest Hit One-Shot:

I think forget me nots tbh for both lol

New Things I Tried:

collabing! if you somehow missed the gioverse collab fic thing w me and rem and tai and sol, well.

Fic I Spent The Most Time On:

absolutely the thing that buries me I have genuinely had this as a wip in my docs for over a year

Fic I Spent The Least Time On:

that is impossible to tell because I obsessed over all of them for different reasons I fear. maybe the 'kitchen counters' chapter in live to let you shine because I was in a fugue state of insanity

Favourite Thing I Wrote:

sun digs its heels was an ode to my poor baby kitty cat so I think that one

Favourite Thing(s) I Read:

BRO. SO MANY.

If I have to narrow it down...

we know im the number one taizi stan thats the loml but the gioverse truly pulled me into a creativity spiral i have not felt in forever so please read raised on little light immediately. only going up from here is the portal duo vibe forever along with can't help but become the sun. made me cry, worlds were changed.

I was not expecting my fave fic writer from years ago to come back with a sequel to underdark let alone this absolutely insanely good banger of a post rise movie fic along with the current follow up. the way mikey and leo are in this made me feel. agony? I think agony. anyways @plothooksinc 's stuff is really emotional and action packed and gets the characterizations right in such a specifically intense way.

take one for the team by @remedyturtles made me clinically unwell actually, and of course deathwish because sensei is actually i think the depressed millennial of all time. the way rem writes punches me straight through with an emotion I do not know how to name so there's that.

creation of a philosophers stone is so unique to me and about a dynamic with mikey and draxum that I never see really delved into? idk this is some incredible stuff by IgnisCanis

for something completely different, houses like tombs absolutely wrecked me. jjk content is always heartbreaking in this way that knocks me over but this one is so unique. damn.

I really need to remember to bookmark stuff more often because I definitely read way more than this and I have likely forgotten some life changing stuff but what can we do

Writing Goals for 2025:

write more tbh! I have a million google docs but it would be cool to finish more things

New Works:

hadestown au with tai will be real i s2g as will the daemon au, which I am keeping alive with my bare hands thanks. I am currently working on a sequel to running on low which I'm determined to finish sometime in the next few months i hope

With new trigun season coming out.... ambiguously soon... I'm sure I'll be overcome and crazed there, and will definitely finish the thing that buries me asap too

Tagging: 

tagging @byrdybyrd02 and @camsthisky if yall havent done one of these already! and of course anyone who wants to :)

[agustdiv1ne]

honestly? it could've been worse.

lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')

there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!

furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.

so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33

to: @gummygowon 🖤

MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3

to: @lunalovesstories 🖤

lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33

to: @cheolhub 🖤

SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3

to: @toruro 🖤

mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3

to: @prodsh00ky 🖤

hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!

to: @koqabear 🖤

sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3

to: @boba-beom 🖤

smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33

and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep

hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333

🖤 — january

27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp

🩶 — february

regrettably empty :(

🤍 — march

23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party

🖤 — april

04: frat boy!yeonjun

07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au + self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut

08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink

11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)

13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader

16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au

21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au

🩶 — may

09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun

16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao + 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex + early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun

19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun

27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au

28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)

🤍 — june

01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au

03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1

06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2

13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader

23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)

24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin

26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp

🖤 — july

04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin

08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au + best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online

started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)

13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)

17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)

24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)

31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted

🩶 — august

05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au + 3k event — soobin + the avengers

11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au

26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)

🤍 — september

02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)

12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au

21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader

22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun

🖤 — october

03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au

23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au

🩶 — november

07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au

🤍 — december

started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO

🖤 — writing plans

get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)

rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au

going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au

and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader

cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun

wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au

the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au

love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au

adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au

art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle

and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)

🩶 — goals for this blog + myself

interact with more ppl! and more often!!

write 150k words?? we'll see...

write longer fics!!

plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!

that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3

- ashlee

p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)

[justlarkin]

Mentioning some events that I liked in the midst of beefing with LWs' writers. It's mostly due to very specific things that occur in the events rather than the events themselves to be completely honest with you.

-Casual and fun beach event. Can't go wrong there. Good moments envolving most of the characters. Nomad, Azazel, Kengo, and Oniwaka in particular for me. They deprived me of Azazel content, so this is my only morsel to latch onto. Plus we got SQ Galore, including ones for Mononobe and Lil Salomon.

-The softcore discussion of gender dysphoria was a pleasant surprise and I liked the parallels drawn between MC and Astarte as "trophies". In particular, I liked how this event revealed how much the other guys actually love MC. They were completely indifferent towards Astarte while she was the beloved, which was super weird to her, and when MC switched places with her, they immediately clocked that something was off, but not because they could visually tell MC was obviously not Astarte. They just thought Astarte was more radiant than usual. They were all over MC and giving away their shells because they're MC, not because they were the beloved.

-That scene where Heracles falls into Narcissus' Pond and he comes to the realization that his narcissism and cowardness was what led to Hylas' fate. He thought that a hero of his caliber was too precious to even risk being lost to the naiads, especially not for a guy who was practically beneath him. Heracles put himself before the life of his friend who was willing follow him to hell and back, abandoning him, and he regrets it. The parallels to Hylas' abduction with Heracles' fall as well as dialouge and narration as MC dives after him are an absolute banger. "I knew. I knew you'd come. Not by another's comand but your own free will. Your radiance makes me want to weep. Before you, the thought of the man who failed to follow Hylas makes me want to cry." MC took the leap Heracles never did for Hylas, making them a better person than himself. Such a great moment. Absolutely adored it.

-First of all, exile reveal. Second of all, the reveal that Shiro's crush is more of an all-consuming OBSESSION. Always thinking of them. Always following them whatever path they decide to take. Knowing that they relied on him was his greatest source of happiness. He wanted to help them, to shoulder any and all of their burdens in the hopes that they would eventually feel the same way as him. Shiro was desperately striving for an insane, unhealthy co-dependent relationship where MC validates him by constantly needing him to help them and it's just ?!?!? This came way out of left field.

-Algernon. Algernon. Algernon. I absolutely loved it when he randomly got jealous and tried to change the topic when MC called Yamasachihiko hot. I love that he found someone who could keep up with him, an equal, in MC. I loved that they did a little tapdance routine together while killing the slimes. Oh. And Hombre Tigre. I'm not really a big fan of him. I just really like how interesting his dynamic with Quetzalcoatl is compared to everyone else. Hombre adoring Tezcatlipoca so much that he couldn't even begin to grasp why Quetzalcoatl would leave him behind and envying him for being the one who could consume Tezcatlipoca's thoughts and breaking him in such a manner.

-Sherlock Nomad and Assistant MC, the event we had all been waiting on. Anyways, y'all should know why I liked this event. It's that one scene where they beat Hermes' and he's just sitting on the floor like a pouty little kid when MC grabs his hand and he continues his little tantrum by telling them to let go while doing nothing to stop them. Hermes finally found a friend who could look past all of his lies and accept him with MC and I'm very happy for the bastard.

-That whole chase scene where Balor reveals that he's actually been a twat this entire time and he goes after MC, trying to capture them, is mwah. Love it. Also when Boogeyman triggered that ratfuck, Balor's, PTSD with his sacred artifact just the reveal that Lugh never had a choice in the matter and that Balor caused this fate to be forced upon him, something that he feared for himself in the first place. And the reveal that Balor didn't exactly regret killing his grandson. It was just the fact that Lugh didn't choose to fight him himself.

-The way Vapula was completely indifferent to his golemns until the very end where they're all silently gazing out into the sea after Sand Dragon self-deleted while following orders and are clearly fucked up about what they just witnessed, truly understanding how morbid Sand Dragon's existence was and the inevitability of his death, when MC turns to Vapula and says "Vapula.... We never got to name him" and Vapula just starts BAWLING.

-Oh look. A well executed plot twist. Loved the way that they conveyed Horus and Seth's true bond through how compatible and fluidly their memories were able to work together to fight against the group. Then there's the use of Seth's old memories to reveal that Horus had been on his side the entire time and that he was even the one who let him flee Duat. Also, an expansion on what seemed to be such a simple rule. Being able to control the sand being way more powerful than expected through a technicality.

-This one might actually be my favorite event. No. Not because it's a Fuxi or bird event. Shut your slut mouth. Banger music, great story, great picks for the characters and the dynamics, an exile reveal. Fuxi being so unhinged that he tries to fight literal children and Simurgh playing the straight man to his funny man will always be funny. Also, there was just that one moment where MC went "pull the trigger pussy" while Simurgh held a gun to their head and that's so based of them. Mostly dissapointed we didn't get more Nüwa lore.

[swallowtailed]

palisade 42 (!) part 2/2: the character arcs of it all. also, rule of three.

at a certain point in this episode, i paused it and made the following voice to text note: "it does kind of feel like the third beat here is for brnine to die". (except voice to text rendered "brnine" as "brian".) then i put the episode back on and one second later ali said she had a move that let brnine put themself in peril to protect someone else. at this point i got off the highway and got taco bell because the only alternative was to scream forever and also i thought it would feel right to listen to brnine's death scene in a taco bell parking lot.

anyway, the rule of three. brnine has borne witness to a lot of self-sacrifice—or, well, almost. they weren't there when valence died. they were there with phrygian, until the very end. and then they're in the cockpit with jesset as he tries to throw his life away. there were two outcomes, as i see it, to resolve this arc. brnine could sacrifice themself to save jesset (die to break the cycle of their friends' deaths and essentially pass their torch to jesset), or they could stop jesset from sacrificing himself and survive as well (outright break the cycle of self-sacrifice among millennium break). i would've supported the first option! it's resonant and tragic! but i do think that, once brnine didn't bite it while stopping jesset, it felt more right for them to survive. because that arc is then an arc toward survival, toward staying alive to fight on.

(if brnine were to die in the finale, i would sort of hope that thisbe would also die, because it would be incredible for cori to be the last survivor of the original blue channel crew. not that i want thisbe to die (at all, even a little bit). but just imagine.)

also it was just a very good scene in general. jesset stopping as soon as he felt brnine touch his hand. squished together in the cockpit debating self-sacrifice. also, the little affirmation of thisbe not leaving this time (not like with valence); brnine not leaving without thisbe (not like with valence).

lastly: brnine getting an extra risk slot aboard the blue channel was suddenly heartwrenching. that's the ship valence gave them to escape... and it's not even that they're any safer or stronger on board, they can just survive a little longer. one more breath. i think the only way would be for brnine and the blue channel to go down together.

cori this episode: (deep breath) FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHH. three sets of black wings babey!!! we love to see it. sylvi's line about it—"not content are they with chaining our wings down, they are chaining the wings of the god we're supposed to be worshipping"—absolute banger. i don't think we knew (or maybe i just forgot) that original devotion had wings, but it's a beautiful touch alongside cori's wings. a chained angel under the eye of a dark sun. i'm so excited to see where she goes next. with, now, another grief to bear. (also, hey—is she older than any of her siblings now? since she's been outside the mirage?)

thisbe this episode: nonstop slay. it is so great to see thisbe unleashed. illusion strats as compelling as always. her faith in figure at the very end, her steadiness while brnine and jesset balance on a knife's edge—thisbe is so important. janine remarked that she's underutilizing integrity, but i think this episode really showed that new confidence thisbe has gained with it. i'm really interested to see where that relationship goes. it seems like thisbe is treating integrity like a seedling to nurture. ultimately, i think thisbe might still need to confront her conflation of personhood and use; it works for her, but it's not gonna fly with every divine. also: shrieked with laughter at the return of the concrete hamburger seatbelt. everything that has happened before will happen again, we're going back to the mirage, etc etc. attached to that, though—ebullience being turned into corporate art genuinely feels like a fate worse than death.

i don't know where this leaves us with figure's death, frankly. perennial's grief felt like it paid off their last roll, and we got a brief scene with the crew finding out, but it still doesn't feel resolved to me. i think i'm looking for wherever cori and brnine, in particular, go with this. we'll see. (would be neat if cori went over to perennial.)

now, with all that said, imo the last 90 minutes of this episode were maybe some of the best palisade has been. the weight of the whole divine cycle came to bear on those moments. (it might just be that i'm listening to counterweight right now, but i'm feeling counterweight, too.) i think i'm at a point with this season where i'm genuinely open to whatever ending comes, because there's so much material that it'll resonate forward either way.

and they’re going into the mirage.

[afreakingdork]

Hello! Okay so based on your recent post we know you have no interest in tcest and such but not gonna lie, it also made me wonder why you decided to write the most recent fic, On the Spot. Your biggest strength from what I could tell is character exploration and you have already expounded on Leo's struggles with other methods so I was wondering why you chose to delve into incestous feelings as a product of traumatic experiences in particular in On the Spot? Was it just on a whim or did you have another reason?

I'm just asking because genuinely curious and hold no negative feelings against you, the writer, for writing it. In fact the only reason I read it was because I knew that if it came from your hands, the fic will be (in my eyes at least) always be a guaranteed banger, and I was intrigued at how you'd handle these darker topics in your work, and although I finished it I'm still left a bit confused why you made it.

Ahem. Sorry if my ask made you uncomfortable in anyway by the way, you don't have to answer anything you don't want to of course.

I appreciate your concern, but no, nothing you've written had made me uncomfortable and I'm sure people are curious. My ask box and messages are always open.

The following response is put under the cut not because the content discussed is explicit, but because it is triggering subject matter. Please keep yourselves safe.

I'll continue to be candid as that's my preferred method of living. For those who have read Weak Spot, you'll know there was a crest of Leo's trauma in it where he reveals that he loved (platonically) and still wished Donnie would become part of their family in spite of how many repercussions that brought upon him. Leo's struggles were a topic that @mothmans-left-nipple and I often discussed while I was writing. These messages came to a head around the wedding chapter of Weak Spot and moth mentioned something about how traumatizing the event must be for Leo.

In that moment, I was struck with the entire concept of this new fic. I know you say you believe that Leo's trauma was closed off in Weak Spot, but I never considered it that way. All that happened to Leo was that he became unstuck from where he was frozen in time. None of Leo's feelings about Donnie (again, platonically) are actually dealt with. I have plans to tackle more of Leo and Donnie's interactions going forward in Soft Spot, but overall it felt like a glaring hole in Leo's recovery and moth's comment opened up how traumatic that missed spot was.

The story I then penned delved directly into that darkness and what can happen when trauma is not dealt with. Leo's clinging necessity of spiraling out as he's thrust into this new world that he doesn't know how to navigate quickly becomes a battered thing. He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and as such he quickly loses control of them. They get warped and malformed until the only way he can view his attachment is through the lens of the past even though no one is there. He's desperate for a modicum of control and release that he's been denied for decades. It manifested in the way it did because of everyone's both reluctance and enabling.

I by no means believe that incest is the only logical way these feelings or this scenario could be dealt with, but for the direction the story took with reader as a prominent character, that was the path that made the most sense in this case. I was very aware of the subject matter i was handling and by no means wanted to make light of it for survivors. My heart goes out to those who have suffered this fate or worse, but that's exactly why I felt strongly about posting this story.

Could it have taken another path?

Yes.

Should it have?

That's not for me to say.

All I can say is i wrote what I did and I stand by that decision.

[angrycloudcrown]

~ PINNED POST ~

yeah idk how pinned posts work go easy on me

here's my pronouns page

Fandoms

★ The Music Freaks (All time fav!!)

★ The Disastrous Life of Saiki K (2nd Fav)

(Please talk about TMF or TDLOSK to me. Or honestly just talk about them in general. I'M BEGGING AAAAHHHH)

★ Heathers: The Musical (songs are all BANGERS)

★ Ride The Cyclone (sugar cloud solos!! <3)

★ Sanders Sides (virgil kinnie...)

★ Doki Doki Literature Club (just monika.)

★ Amanda the Adventurer (horror enjoyer at times)

★ Mia's World (webcomic by Mogry331)

★ Cuphead (both game and show)

★ Andy's Apple Farm (horror enjoyer at times part 2)

★ Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (there's 3 of us—)

★ Undertale (sans and papyrus best duo)

★ Be More Chill (do i really have to explain this one?)

★ The Amazing Digital Circus

★ Five Nights At Freddy's (ive been a fan for years how have i never put this in my fandom section. anyway horror enjoyer at times part 3)

★ Kindergarten 1 and 2 Games (DanTDM'S playthroughs got me, great game)

★ Riddle School

★ Baldi's Basics In Education And Learning

★ Nerdy Prudes Must Die

★ My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (not in the weird way. just. just the normal pony show way)

★ Hazbin Hotel (im a bit disappointed for caving and watching the show, but oh well)

★ Pokémon (more specifically the anime, but I am in love with the games too)

★ Steven Universe (the 2018 fandoms never leave, they simply linger)

★ Avatar: The Last Airbender

★ Parappa the Rapper

★ Stardew Valley

★ Ramshackle (ily all, indie animated series)

★ There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension

★ Friday Night Funkin' (getting freaky on a friday night yeah 💥)

★ The Amazing World of Gumball

★ Bistro Huddy

★ Night At The Museum

★ Ouran High School Host Club (HARUHI!!!!! <3)

★ The Outsiders (book only, havent seen movie nor musical)

★ Shadow Children Book Series

★ The Henry Stickmin Collection (genuinely. love the games so much oh my god)

Goddamn my fandom section is getting long

★ From Bureaucrat To Villainess: Dad's Been Reincarnated! (LOOK. LOOK. i know it sounds cliche but the manga is good and its getting an anime too trust me on this. AND NONE OF THE CHARACTERS ARE CREEPS!!! ITS JUST WHOLESOME!!!!!)

★ Arcane (ive never acknowledged league of legends but damn this show is good fr)

(more to be added can't remember them all off the top of my head but these are the main ones I like and interact with)

Basic Info

you can just call me "ash"

use she/her may change, idk???

im aroace and i dont know what gender i am (i mainly identify myself queer)

if you interact/follow and i see anything on your blog relating to you being racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, pedophilic, proship/comship, or literally just anything related to being a bigot, im not arguing with you, i will block you without hesitation

(blogs with excessive genuine kink/sexual content will also be blocked, not cause theyre problematic tho, its just one of things im personally uncomfy with)

i don't mind being tagged in posts, but i might not respond immediately :')

i stand in favor of palestine. 🇵��

(please do NOT be weird in my askbox.)

Sideblogs

@speedydestinydream - my sideblog for the gacha series "The Music Freaks" by Rosyclozy

@tdlosk-confessions - my sideblog for confessions about the fandom or series of "The Disasterous Life of Saiki K" (both manga and anime obv lol. only one moderator and it is me)

uhm

that's it!!!

I'll add more later lollllll

[tarot-muses]

on sexual dimorphism & reproduction in xenomorphs

let's start by establishing some facts.

throughout canon, xenomorphs are referred to colloquially as bugs. presumably this is because of their chitinous exoskeletons. however, this metaphor is more than skin deep (pun intended). some of their life cycle is based on that of the tarantula hawk wasp, wherein the wasp incapacitates its prey (arachnids), drags it into its den, and leaves it for new hatchlings to devour. most notably, however, of the insect inspirations, is the parasitoid wasp. its life cycle includes injecting eggs into the bodies of caterpillars, wherein the larvae feed on the internal tissues of the host until they're ready to burst free.

[ cut for length. ]

insects aren't the only source of inspiration for their life cycles, however. we also see aspects of sea life draw in as well. with jellies, we see a stage of development following the larval stage, wherein the jelly forms into what is called a polyp. polyps grow over time and accumulate buds, which then release one at a time from the central structure to become individuals and genetic clones. the parallels here between the polyp stage and the facehugger stage are clear; they both form an intermediary form which distributes the final genetic material which will eventually become the individual.

pivoting from biology, now we need to discuss art history. accounts on the veracity of this claim vary, but many believe that giger was largely inspired form his biomechanical orgy motif following a sexual encounter with two trans woman and some lsd. others claim that the motif arose from trying to cope with recurring sexual nightmares he confided in having to his therapist. regardless, we can all agree that there is something uniquely and particularly sexual about his artwork, which often blurs the lines between what is and is not organic and what is and is not an individual. the concept of connection and the blurring of the lines between the self and other entities, be they mechanical or organic, evokes the feeling of gender fluidity. but perhaps that's my own personal bias. i'll admit to that fully. i would like to believe his art was inspired by trans women obliterating his mind on lsd. that would've been pretty cool.

anyway. all of that was to establish a base line for the following headcanons. they call it cultivating ethos & logos in the biz. i did a bunch of research and what youre abt to read is gonna make sense bc of it. now onto the actual content.

in the canon, we see xenomorph hives arise from single drones. some animals we've observed in nature capable of asexual reproduction are called self-fertilizing hermaphrodites. among these animals in nature, we find such bangers as the mangrove killifish, nematode worms, sea slugs, and earthworms. its actually a pretty common phenomenon, and when it happens, the resultant offspring is a perfect genetic clone of the parent.

other animals which sexually reproduce fall into the following categories: budding, fission, fragmentation, and parthenogenesis, the last of which being the next most likely reproductive cycle for the xenomorph. however, none of these (with the exception of the last), align with their known egg laying trait. so, we must conclude that either the drone xenomorph lays an unfertilized egg which is capable of hatching, or that it internally fertilizes its own egg before laying it.

as such, if xenomorphs have genitals at all, it is like that they they have a seminal appendage capable of fertilization and a reproductive orifice capable of laying eggs. or, alternatively, they have a single cloaca for all reproductive and digestive needs and internal testes which produce semen.

so why have queens at all? where do they come from, if a hive can begin with a single drone?

in ants, queens serve the purpose of hive governance as well as allmother. they are the physical embodiment of the hive. ants, and other hive insects, act in perfect altruism to the hive -- willing to die to preserve the queen. if all else fails, if the queen survives, then the hive hasn't been defeated. she represents an enormous resource, and with the ability to lay many eggs over a period of time, she ensures the hive will never fail.

ants remain the most useful touchstone for the genesis of queens in hives. but bees also can be used as an analogue. both insects provide the intended egg or larva with specific nutrients to ensure that it will develop into a queen. in ants, it's a very high protein diet. xenomorphs are likely the same, since they're known to be carnivorous.

as such, it's likely that even queens have a vestigial seminal appendage in addition to their external female reproductive system. making them also hermaphroditic in at least some sense. though that's largely speculation on behalf of this writer.

yeah. that's all i got for now. sorry it's so long. and sorry i shouldve included more sources but i started running out of steam in the middle im ngl

[talenlee]

Story Pile: Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!

Chances are if you follow the ongoing anime season release schedule, you might have seen the trailer for Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!, an anime which tells you everything by telling you nothing. If you’re not familiar with the trailer, here’s what you get:

Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable! | OFFICIAL TRAILER

Watch this video on YouTube

I thought this anime looked modestly cute but also dumb as hell, but I also thought it was going to be fun to watch and show pictures of these characters wearing clothes in the snow to my Canadian friend and watch their reaction to it. What I wasn’t prepared for was that the opening and closer are bangers, and I wound up watching enough of the anime that I wound up giving enough of a damn to how this nothing plot could possibly resolve itself. Where was it going? What was it going to be about? How could this tourism pamphlet with tits turn its lack of any tension into a story by the end?

But before I go on: Talking about a low-stakes romantic anime like Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable! is rarely the kind of place where you have to be overly concerned about Spoilers, but this is an anime where the manga represents a sort of second leg to the story, in which the story gets a bit darker (momentarily), and then becomes a story about watching a slow set of conversations being thoughtfully played out over the course of basically a single year. I enjoyed it but also if I missed half the episodes I wouldn’t have noticed. I can’t not spoil things here.

Also, Content Warning. At its heart, Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable! is a fanservice-focused series that centres on the story of a bunch of teenagers. It’s a horny series where you’re going to see boobs and butts and underwear and you’re not going to see sex, but these teenagers sure think about sex and sure think about having sex. For some of you any media that depicts teenagers as sexual beings makes you uncomfortable and I’d say that you’re going to see that, so you shouldn’t. If you’re in the middle space on that kind of thing — like you don’t mind anime being horny for your own reasons, but there are things anime can do to make it worse. Like, in this series, yes, these teenagers are horny for one another, but there’s no point where an adult thirsts over one of them. It’s just teenagers into teenagers, and those teenagers are deliberately doing things to represent and play with being sexy and flirty with one another. You’re not getting nonconsensual peeking in this series, which I think is part of why I feel a lot more comfortable with its Layers Of Horny.

Also, another part of the content warning, but the middle of this story features a sudden dip into parental emotional abuse. It’s really weird, too, because this is a story that you have probably looked at and gone ‘oh I know everything going on here,’ and like, you’re not wrong, but it’s somehow a better made example of what it is.

Jesus christ, what an intro.

Anyway.

This is the pitch, this is the premise. This is an anime about a boy, and he goes to Hokkaido, and there is a Gyaru there. Now if you don’t know what those words mean, here, lemme go. Hokkaido is the northernmost large island of the Japanese archipelago, which has its own distinct kind of Japanese culture, which is based around things like a colder climate, more open space, less intense urbanisation, and less public transport. A Gyaru is a particular kind of fashion style that’s typified by a vision of constructed femininity, fashion as consumption and a fixation on fun and relaxation. It’s kinda a ‘party girl’ aesthetic with a lot of specific signifiers that work aggressively against the common Japanese fashion trends of compliance and blending in. And a boy is a thing that some anime feature, it’s like a girl, but only sometimes.

The main character of this story is Tsubasa Shiki, a Tokyo boy who has arrived in Hokkaido to start school here. Being new in town, he needs every part of Hokkaido culture explained to him whether it’s the local branding of a convenience store, the drink everyone here favours, or the traditions and holidays they have.

The actual protagonist of the story is Minami Fuyuki, a fan of the Gal culture style. While she is kind of a basic pile of components, a pretty girl into fashionable style (with massive tits), she’s friendly and flirty, and not good at school, but also, very interested in what life is like in Tokyo, which she sees in terms of being ‘The Big City.’ That gives her an immediate interest in Shiki, but also, you then find out that she’s just a socially active character, who’s kind to people in general. She’s thoughtful when dealing with her classmates, kind to strangers, respectful to adults and as far as I can tell, she’s pretty much a model youth in the context of where she’s from. She is also very interested in pretty things and presenting with a particular aesthetic, and she doesn’t get good grades, but we learn more about that, too.

Now, this story is broken into three chunks, the first one of which the anime covers, and that is the story of Shiki and Minami becoming friends, and learning about who he is in the context of Hokkaido, and how being from Hokkaido influences the way she sees the world. At the end of that arc, we learn that Minami has decided, inspired by Shiki, to aspire to do more and be better, and she’s going to go to South Korea to study makeup. While it’s unsurprising in almost all ways, the story follows a classic track, does a nice job of it, and then, at the end, after building up the tension that she’s leaving, Shiki works up the strength to run to talk to Minami in the airport, even asking for a lift to the airport from his normally withdrawn father! It’s a big deal! He rushes to the airport, he tells her he’ll miss her and she says

‘Sure, see you in two weeks.’

And you know as far as building a series up to a punchline, that’s pretty good! You get the drama of an airport confession, and the knowledge that the series has somewhere to go from here, and those two thoughts run into one another with the revelation that Shiki just didn’t ask an obvious question (‘for how long?’) and Minami operated on the assumption that he understood she wasn’t going away for good.

The anime ends, essentially, on a soft footnote, where it’s just introduced two characters and promises that hey, they’re going to be important at some point, and shown some things about Shiki as a person (that he’s anxious, afraid of separation, and also that he’s grown out of that somewhat thanks to Minami), and you can read the rest of the manga for where the story goes next.

Mixed in amongst all of this, though, and part of what makes this anime so distinct to its genre, is the way the story pulls up short to go ‘hey, here’s a thing about HOKKAIDO. Did you know we are in HOKKAIDO? here in HOKKAIO, we drink THIS yoghurt drink!’ And while I am making fun it’s pretty interesting the way that this story has the vibe of someone who wants to tell you about a place, but also wants to do that while also showing you a romance between a pair of perfectly cute, nice characters. It’s not seamless, but it works better than I would have expected knowing I was essentially watching an ad. It lives alongside Zombieland Saga in the terms of an anime that advertises something like a place, rather than the usual thing anime advertises, which is buying signifiers of liking that anime.

It’s a fun enough anime, it’s as challenging as a snowcone but it feels like it’s built very competently out of pieces by someone who is trying hard to do something that’s worth your time to look at. It’s someone who wants to infodump at you about Hokkaido life and also wants to draw some tits, and it’s hard for me to feel bad about that as an overall product.

That’s where the anime checks out of the story, give or take some minor notes. It’s also about a third of the way through the manga, which prompted me to wonder where the hell else this manga had to go. As it happens what follows then is a trip into Shiki’s backstory and the discovery that he has separation anxiety and struggles with social connections because his mother has been uhhh, um, protractedly and consistently emotionally abusive to him? For his whole life?

It’s not subtle, it’s not even a little bit subtle, it frames his mother like a horror monster, and her first dialogue with him is about taking his phone away from him because he shouldn’t have access to that kind of thing for fear of it making him ‘indolent.’ She wants him to excel at everything and then criticises him for wasting his time at those things. She gets him a tutor to improve his grades and when he does so, she praises herself for picking a good tutor.

The story literally has Shiki realising she will never give him the love he needs.

I wasn’t really prepared for this pivot. I’ve been so housebroken by mid-tier romantic anime about weenus boys who get the best and most appealing romantic narrative they could imagine dropped in their lap and spend multiple volumes of a manga fumbling it, that when a series presents that to me and says ‘now here’s why this ordinary boy is such a mess’ I’m kinda shocked to see it’s an explanation that makes actual sense instead of a default assumption that being a complete twerp is a relatable norm for any given Japanese boy.

The tension that rides out this second arc is the question of if Shiki is going to remain in Hokkaido (which he does), and what’s involved in that including some reckonings with parents both good and bad. It’s not the kind of conclusion I personally would find satisfying, but what do I think this fluffy romance manga was going to do? Include a lengthy chapter on family court where a child emancipates himself from an abusive parent?

One of the things that this genre holds to itself is the simple idea that all these characters are broadly speaking going to be okay. Nobody is going to be completely ruined by this experience and if people have a misunderstanding, then the solution will be talking about it. That includes the mother who has been emotionally withholding and abusing her son, which in my mind, kinda sucks, and obviously I’d rather an end point where she I dunno, like, I don’t know what fits in the genre. Maybe throw a pie at her or something, whatever.

The third arc of the manga is essentially about Minami and Shiki getting together that is fundamentally a kind of password exchange story. You’re looking at two pieces of information that are both true and known and the only thing impeding the end state of the story is that the two people who know this true thing can meet in a place and time when there’s nothing impeding the exchange of that information. Along the way there are multiple sequences of characters taking their shot at one or the other and it’s a perfectly nice story, but it surprised me to realise two important things that this genre normally has.

Back in the fandom of Ranma 1/2’s height, there was some consideration of the Consolation Character. See, in that story, there was Ryouga Hibiki, a guy who had a crush on one half of the main couple, and Ukyou Kuonji, who had a crush on the other half. Late in the manga, two characters were introduced which nearly obviously perfectly matched up with Ukyou and Ryouga as potential romantic partners, and while one of them is more fun than the other (Konatsu, a crossdressing ninja boy who may actually be a real trans woman in a series that otherwise lacks one, sorry), the fact remains that when Ukyou and Ryouga get left in the lurch by the obvious end goal of the story it was kinda nice to know that they weren’t now restarting at zero with no romantic prospects and nobody to share their common interests.

One of the problems in Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable is that of the three girls who all have crushes on Shiki, two of them also have crushes on each other and have never heard of bisexuality, or polyamry. Given the traditional nature of the kinds of families and structures this story includes, it’s not surprising to me that nobody’s going to be sending invites to a google calendar, but it does highlight that this series does require two people to experience heartbreaks, heartbreaks that the story does genuinely show you and treat as real things that aren’t easily ignored, in order to get its core couple together. Which is in a way kinda weird, since those characters were only introduced to the story to be part of that story and not get the boy in the end, meaning that this highway has cul-de-sacs on it that also cry when you leave them.

I really can’t underscore enough how much this series feels like it’s not worth this kind of extravagent consideration. If you saw the trailer and went ‘looks cute, who cares’ you have probably had the more thoughtful and more serious reaction to this than my surprisingly intense need to write about the three arcs of a series that honestly barely has the juice for one. But the characters are sweet, the story is actually well put together – he says, actually, as if it’s fundamentally surprising when a harem romance anime ends well and is well constructed – and I was genuinely surprised by how even for a series that includes ‘look at the characters’ thighs to see the solution to our word jumble’ as a title card, it wound up being full of heart and thought.

And make no mistake this is wish fulfillment high school romance schmaltz, there’s no drama or tension that is not entirely centered on how people feel and what they care about. But there are moments, like when it does a Hakyuu!! riff or when a character is finally introduced after a hundred issues of her only appearing as a background character but also being very able to prove she previously existed, that it demonstrates a degree of quality that this genre normally just figures it doesn’t even need to try at.

There’s a lot of mid stories told in mid manga, but it’s pretty rare to see a mid story told so excellently well.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[underratedandoverit]

that scream i hear

651 words

i mean technically its orangekip i guess. belt corruption arc/immortal fears. i just poured this out of me in like twenty minutes so i can cleanse myself up from bad brain before i go to bed. its angst, i guess with a somewhat content ending. if it doesnt make sense i dont care, not all things can be bangers but im gonna post this anyways

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“I hate you!”

Eyes staring up at the dark ceiling, Kip slowly gained control of his body again. His throat felt dry, he could barely move his fingers, the floor underneath his back felt cold. The sensations were all hitting at the same time, almost paralyzing him all over again.

Kip blinked slowly.

“Fuck you!”

He did remember those words, he could hear them echoing around the room in his own voice. Kip had no idea how long had passed since that moment, but he could feel the tension still lingering.

Slowly his hand rose up from the floor, the arm following it, lifting the shaky hand in front of his face. He was barely able to focus on it, watching the little driblets of blood falling from it. They were hitting him directly in the face, but Kip didn’t care. He didn’t remember cutting himself, but the wound looked fresh. Still stinging a little bit too.

“I fucking hate you!”

The hand lowered down on his chest, leaving a bloody hand print behind, no doubt. Kip couldn’t remember how he got here, what had happened. All he could remember was the disappointment in Cassidy’s eyes, his own words screaming at both him and Kip himself, not really being sure who those words were ultimately aimed at.

He could hear the door opening, but Kip didn’t respond. The barely aware blond just laid on the floor, feeling the floorboards shake a little as the footsteps got closer to him. He didn’t respond back to the calls of his name, or look directly at him as Cassidy knelt down, hovering above him.

They both remained silent, Cassidy’s eyes leaving his unresponsive face to track down to the hand on his chest, wincing a little bit at the sight of the blood. He was hesitant to do anything though, having seen Kip already throw himself into a frenzy over his attempt once, leaving some more broken dishes and a couple of bruises behind over a mere touch of his hand. Cassidy’s eyes darted between Kip’s hand in desperate need of care and his blank face a couple of times, finally leaning over some more in order to try to make eye contact.

“Hey.”

Kip blinked, but looked right past him to the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what this state was, but he was exhausted. He just didn’t know why, it all felt very foreign to him. He didn’t remember how he got to the floor, which room this even was, what had happened.

All he could hear were his own words echoing in his mind, radiating with hate.

“We really need to patch you up.”

Cassidy could remember that talking helped. Or at least that was what he had been told a few times in the past, how people had pulled him out of a state similar to this. Not that any of his friends ever recorded him having violent tendencies towards others than himself, but the end result was the same.

Exhaustion. Non-communication. He was going to be stuck here, on the floor, in this state, until someone helped him move along.

“I hate you!”

But did he though…?

Kip’s eyes slowly traveled away from the ceiling, trying their best to focus on the friendly pair of blue eyes looking back at him. The sound that came out of him was barely a whisper, but it was more than enough for Cassidy, as he watched Kip carefully lift the hand up again, pressing it against Cassidy’s chest.

“…Help.”

Cassidy just nodded, offering Kip a soft smile he barely registered, before moving onto the patchwork, clearly having come in prepared for this task. Kip’s eyes traveled back to the ceiling, the almost scarily familiar numbness washing over him as he barely felt Cassidy cleaning up his wounds, as much as it would usually sting.

“I fucking hate you!”

But…

But he didn’t though.