#anyways fast forward to current day and when I smell a fragrance that is like the one he used I feel like my body immediately reacts

[bewitching-666]

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[lykegenia]

The Dragon Knight’s New Clothes

The speed with which Davion left Hauptstadt left him no time to pick up clothes, so now he's back to square one and very much missing enough layers to cover up his... secrets. When he and his companions stumble on a farmstead his prayers seem answered, but there's also the other matter, the reason why he had to flee Hauptstadt in the first place, and the fear that it will happen again. Set between Episodes 2 & 3. 

Hints of Davion x Mirana

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Read on AO3

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Normally, Davion is perfectly fine with silence in his travelling companions. The life of a dragon knight requires long hours on the road, not all of which can be filled with talk, even on the days where there’s no hunt to keep the quiet. But normality seems to have taken its butterfly wings elsewhere for him lately, and the current silence is getting awkward. It’s just him and Mirana. Marci took Sagan scouting shortly after sunrise and left them alone together, and while she seems content with their current situation, she’s also the only one between them wearing clothes. She doesn’t have to worry about the strength of errant breezes finding their way to places, and she has the weight of a weapon at her side as insurance against any trouble they might run into. Her feet aren’t slipping around sockless and blistered in too-large boots taken off a dead man.

A man he tore to pieces.

He swallows, glances to his companion to take his mind off the remembered taste of blood in his mouth. Her shoulders are loose, her gaze soft and hair flowing where the wind lifts it back from her face, the unassuming brown sparking copper in the dappled sunlight. He swallows again.

“Soooooo…”

“Is there a problem?” she asks, slowing a little. A quizzical knot appears between her brows and he raises his hands in surrender.

“No problem!” he says. “It’s just… you’re quiet.”

“I was enjoying the peace.” If there’s a note of annoyance for his interruption it flashes too quickly for him to catch it.

“You must not get much chance to just stop and smell the flowers,” he supposes, after a moment. “Being a princess and everything.”

“There are always little things, if you let yourself look for them – but you’re right that my duties rarely allowed for anything more.”

Allowed. Past tense.

“You never snuck away to try something more fun?” He grins, and when she only quirks a brow at him he clears his throat. “No, never mind, I think I know the answer to that… I’m sure Marci will be back soon.”

She throws him a smirk. “Are you worried about her?”

“Actually,” he says, letting his thoughts tease out, “I’ve been wondering about you two.”

“What about us?” The smirk draws in, a warning that seems to dim the sunlight itself.

He shrugs. “She takes your orders, but you don’t exactly treat her like a servant or a squire, and you have that –” he waggles his fingers experimentally – “hand language. You must have known her a long time.”

She turns away from him, her eyes going to a bird cleaning its beak on the branches above them as her arms fold in a loose cross over her chest.

“We came to the Nightsilver Woods together, if that’s what you’re asking,” she says. “We were already companions before then.”

“Just the two of you?”

Something in the memory pains her. “There was no one else left.”

“What about Sagan?” he asks.

“A gift from my goddess, so that I might do Her work.” The smile comes back, and he’s glad for it. “He was adorable as a cub – so fluffy. He used to chase the reflections from my arrowheads.”

“I never had a pet,” he confesses, without quite meaning to. A memory of a mongrel begging at the back door for scraps threatens to pull him in, but it was a long time ago and his mind can’t conjure the dog’s appearance. It probably ended up like the rest of his village, anyway.

Mirana’s eyes find his face, too perceptive, too understanding. Before he can think of a new subject to distract her, he notices the birds have all gone silent. The undergrowth rustles nearby, concealing something huge. He darts forward, fists ready in place of a weapon, but an instant later he catches a flash of white and relaxes in recognition at the wide, blunt head that pushes out from among the trees.

“Sagan!” Mirana ducks forward, arms outstretched, and the tiger butts her in the shoulder, purring like an avalanche as Marci slides down his back.

A brief conversation follows in the silent language the two women use between themselves, the signs made by their hands too fast for Davion to follow. He waits patiently, even dares to give Sagan a scratch under the chin, his fingers inches from the mouth full of sabre teeth the length of his hand.

Finally, Mirana turns to him. “There’s a farmstead about five miles west of here. If we’re welcomed it would be a good place to get some rest.” She throws a casual look over him and he resists the urge to tug the too-small cloak further around his body. “Perhaps we might also find you some better clothes.”

“I’d like that.” What he likes less is her singular ability to make him aware of his body – and not in the fun way.

She starts to lead off down the path but stops, sighs, her fingers going to pinch between her brows in an attitude of long-suffering patience.

“Ride Sagan,” she says. Orders, really. “It’ll save your feet.”

He can’t help but lean closer, grinning. “That’s surprisingly nice of you, princess.”

“And it’ll stop you slowing us down.”

He chuckles at that. Even in the few days they’ve spent travelling together he’s learned the difference between her wry mock threats and the times she truly intends to bite. As he winces over to tiger and vaults into the saddle, he almost misses the look exchanged between his two companions.

“How do I, uh, steer?” he asks. The neck in front of him is too short, the shoulders much broader than those of a horse, and there aren’t any reins.

Mirana smirks at him. “You don’t.”

--

They reach the farmstead as the sun is on its last descent towards the distant hills. Barley stalks sway gently under the wind as they climb the path to the house, and when a young teen tending vegetables by the back door spots them, Davion can hardly blame them for dropping their rake and running inside. The three of them don’t exactly make for an ordinary bunch of travellers, especially not with Sagan padding along behind them. There’s a stag slung over the saddle, intended as a sort of offering by Mirana, who took it down with one of her arrows before he even knew it was there. While most would follow the custom of hospitality without such a gift, they have only a few coins from the bandits he killed, and they need more than just shelter for the night.  

“Better let me do the talking,” he mutters as they pass into the yard. It’s not the first time he’s had to explain to some poor local that he’s not a marauding thug, and that was without the daunting presence of the war tiger at his back.

For a moment, Mirana considers, but nods and hangs back, passing a hand over her holstered bow as if to reassure herself it’s still there. With another self-conscious tug on his attire to make sure his decency is covered, he advances towards the farmhouse’s front door and as he passes a soft fragrance of thyme and lavender rises from pots placed beneath the windows, though it’s too early in the year for the buzzing of bees. A memory tickles at the back of his mind but he pushes it away before the herby scent can be tainted with ash, and in the instant it takes to centre himself the door swings open to a tall, broad woman with steel-grey hair and an iron brow who steps out just far enough to not appear suspicious.

“You’re an uncommon bunch, right enough,” she comments, her face half shadowed by the overhanging thatch. “What business have you?”

Davion offers her his most winning smile. “We’re travelling from Hauptstadt. If you have enough spare for a hot meal and room in your barn for the night, we’d appreciate it.” He gestures to his companions. “My friend here managed to take down a deer, and we’ll happily share it with you.”

“Half of it,” Mirana corrects, with a hand on her tiger’s shoulder. “And the hide. Sagan needs to eat too.”

The farmer passes a calculating look over them, lingering longest on Davion and the scars so clearly visible across his shoulders, but in the end he guesses their fearsome appearance works in their favour. Their would-be host shrugs. If such travellers wanted to pillage and burn, they’d have no need for subterfuge first.

“We’re always happy to have well-mannered guests, especially ones with news of the road,” she says. “At this time of year the stock is out so your cat will be fine in the barn. Just keep him away from the back field, I’ve ewes ready to drop and they don’t a need a fright to help them along.”

Mirana nods. “Thank you. Is there somewhere we can put the deer?”

If the farmer is surprised by Marci��s strength as she hauls the carcass off Sagan’s back, she doesn’t show it, only points to the gate set into the far wall to show the way to the outbuildings. “And you always dress like that, do you?” she asks a moment later, still eyeing Davion.

He glances down at himself as if it’s going to suddenly change the nature of his attire, but the princess answers before he can open his mouth.

“There was trouble with bandits.”

“Only for your friend here?” The farmer’s eyes narrow.

“We met on the road,” she says smoothly. “If you have some spare clothes, my companion would appreciate the return of her cloak.”

The farmer accepts the half-truth with a solemn shake of her head. “Some of my late husband’s things should fit you, though he never kept quite so trim as you seem to be.”

She beckons them into the house. Davion follows, ducking under the lintel to avoid knocking his head, but pauses when he realises Mirana isn’t behind him.

“I’m going to bed Sagan down,” she tells him. “I’ll join you shortly.”

He smiles, nodding, and resists the urge to reach for her as she turns away. Inside, the whitewashed walls split the house into two, a kitchen with a large, scrubbed table in the back, and a parlour of sorts with a gathering of chairs around a large fireplace that overlooks the garden. An old woman snores in the armchair closest to the window, but she doesn’t stir at the prospect of visitors, even though the stairs leading off this main room creak under Davion’s weight, the wood worn to a polish by generations of use.

“Tayran,” his host calls out as a young woman appears from one of the upper rooms, “go help your brother with the veggies, will you? We’ve three more mouth to feed tonight.”

Tayran, a few years younger than Davion and sporting the same square jaw and brown eyes as her mother, nods and ducks along the hallway, but not before she’s let her gaze rake along the expanse of his muscles not covered by Marci’s cloak. The smile he offers in return is friendly enough, but not encouraging. He needs the clothes more than he needs someone to take them off again.

Seemingly oblivious to the exchange, his host has gone on ahead to the main bedroom and has taken a key to a heavily locked chest in the corner by the washstand. She digs through it, muttering, though he notices she never quite fully turns her back to him, and after a moment she stands again, with a shirt, breeches, and quilted jerkin draped over her arm. After a pause where she casts a critical eye at his boots, she stumps over to a dresser and pulls a rolled pair of wool socks from one of the drawers as well.

“These are the best I can do,” she says, handing the ensemble to him. “Afraid we’ve no salve for those badly fitting boots of yours, though.”

“It’s no problem,” he replies. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

She huffs. “You can pay it forward. That’s what decent folk do. I’d best go see if yon slip of a girl has managed to get any meat off that stag yet – there’s plenty of room to change in the barn,” she adds, as she chivvies him from the room.

--

Dinner a few hours later is a crowded affair, the family’s meagre supply of chairs not enough to accommodate their guests, which means Davion’s legs are folded awkwardly around the tree stump serving him as a stool, his knees already bruised from all their accidental knocks to the underside of the table. The dim light for their meal comes from the fire and from a storm lantern hanging in the rafters in the centre of the room, and in the darkness beyond this the house groans and creaks as it settles for the night. After the disdain Mirana showed for the inn in Hauptstadt he wondered how she would react to such simple surroundings, but she nods graciously as their host ladles her a portion of stew and doesn’t complain that it’s being served with a wooden spoon. Marci is already tucking into hers as if she hasn’t eaten for days.

He smiles down at his bowl. The stew itself tastes good, the venison paired well with bacon and fresh vegetables, and it’s so thick the slice of bread he’s been given can be planted into it like a battle standard. Their host seems satisfied with their enthusiasm for her food, too. She has yet to sit down, her own portion left off as she pours a clear liquid into a motley collection of cups.

“Don’t knock this back,” she warns as she passes the drinks around. “It’ll beat you round the head like a club and go through your pockets for loose change.”

Davion can’t resist. He makes a great show of tasting the liquor. “A fine vintage, ma’am. Comparable to an Icewrack white, I’d say.”

Opposite him, Mirana narrows her eyes, like she wants to kick him under the table.

“My, you’ve expensive tastes,” their host rumbles. “You won’t find anything half so fancy in these parts.”

“Oh? Shame.”

“Where have you been that serves Icewrack white?” the elder asks from the head of the table. It’s the first Davion’s heard her speak, and her voice is cracked with age and suspicion.

“Oh, a few places,” he answers, careful. “I’ve spent most of my life travelling.”

“You must have many stories,” says Tayran, leaning forward on her elbows while her younger brother rolls his eyes next to her.

“Some, I suppose.” Davion shrugs. “My – uh, I had a friend who was much better than telling them.” He can’t mention having a squire; it would invite too many questions.

The elder seems content with him, but then her eye swivels towards Mirana. “What about you?”

“Mama,” their host chides. “We don’t interrogate our guests.”

Mirana sets down her wooden spoon. “It’s alright. We came from further west, on business.”

“Wrong time o’ year to be travelling the high passes.”

“My business could not wait,” she replies. Not for the first time, he wonders what calamity must have drawn her from her woods, put the grit in her voice as she speaks of it.

“And what about you?” Tayran asks him. Her eyelashes flutter. “If you’re looking for work you’d be far more likely to find it back in Hauptstadt, or on one of the farms in the valley.”

He disarms her with a grin. “And leave my companions without a defender? My honour wouldn’t allow it.” He shrugs elaborately. “I’ve got some friends near Levinthal who should be able to help me after I go that way.”

“More people who owe you favours?” Mirana asks, casually enough, though it’s clear she hasn’t forgiven him for the cockroaches that came included with the last one.

“It’s likely just as well you travel together,” their host interrupts. “There’s rumours of some sort of monster roving about these hills. Someone found bodies ripped apart not a week’s journey from here, and whatever it was killed a dragon knight an’ all. Dangerous times, these.”

The chill that grips Davion’s spine doesn’t go away, nor the knot in his stomach that feels like another gang leader’s ring just waiting to be hocked up onto the table. Mirana and Marci both have stilled to watch him, but he doesn’t meet their gazes. Instead, he draws in a breath and stretches his best tavern-pleasing smile across his revulsion.

“Thanks for the warning,” he says. “We’ll be extra careful.”

The conversation moves on after that, well into the night. On isolated farms like this one, travellers may bring the only news of the outside world for weeks, and new stories of far off places are always welcome. Finally, drowsing under the effect of the wine and the full meal and with the supply of fire logs running low, Mirana rises to make their excuses for the night. They have an early start in the morning, and don’t want to trespass any further, she says. Davion follows.

In the doorway, however, an unexpected hand reaches out in a caress across his chest that stops him before he can make it out into the cold. His breath fogs as he turns, finding Tayran in the shadowed alcove where the family keeps their coats, the smile on her face one he’s seen on more than one young woman on his travels.

“It’ll be cold tonight, you know,” she purrs.

From the corner of his eye he sees Mirana pause at the sound of the voice, but when he turns fully she’s already resumed her pace, perfectly measured, her shoulders straight, and he wonders if he imagined it. Tayran’s hand moves up to cup his cheek, to bring his attention back to her.

“If you want a better offer than a draughty old barn, I’d be happy to oblige. If you’re not already spoken for, that is?”

“You mean with –?” He coughs. “No, I’m not. We’re not, ah – like that.”

She steps closer. “Good. Would you like to hear more about my offer?”

--

When he lets himself into the barn a little time later, bright moonlight spills around him, though his eyes take less time to adjust to the unlit interior than he expects. An oil lamp glows in the far corner.

“Your ‘better offer’ fell through then?” a voice chimes through the darkness, low with disdain.

He finds Mirana with Sagan’s head in her lap, running a soft brush over the tiger’s fur, her scowl and the sour curl of her mouth revealing the nature of whatever else she wants to say. She doesn’t look at him. His own anger rises in response.

“I didn’t take the offer,” he snaps, quiet enough not to disturb Marci. “Not that you have any reason to care.”

“I didn’t want to waste time looking for you in the morning.”

But the gaze fixed on him now flickers with calculation, the same astuteness she turned on him after he let the elf go, as if he’s a puzzle box with no clear solution.

“She was a pretty enough thing,” she comments as he unfolds a horse rug over the straw as a makeshift bedsheet. “Many men would have gone after her.”

“Yeah, well – I’ve said it before.” He throws his head down on his folded arm. “I’m not most men.”

Now more than ever, he thinks ruefully as silence descends again. If he were the sort of person who believed the gods cared at all he’d wonder if they turned him into… whatever he is… as a punishment for hubris. For a little harmless flirting. He yanks the blanket up to his chin and rolls over – he’s slept in less comfortable places, but that doesn’t make the cold, prickly ground any less frustrating. A bed would have been much better. A bed with a bit of fun thrown in, for the both of them, and yet he chose to leave, and he’s going to go mad trying to work out why.

“You’re afraid,” Mirana says into the quiet. “Worried that what happened at Hauptstadt – what you became – that it’ll happen again.”

After a long moment, he unclenches his hand and sighs. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“For what good it will do, I can watch over you, if you like.”

He shifts. The offer feels unfamiliar. A dragon knight is sworn to protect others, and though the rational part of him knows if he does turn she’ll be dead before she realises it, there’s a warm glow of comfort from the assurance in her voice. She asks nothing of him, only honesty.

“If the transformation happens…”

“I’ll shoot you.” He hears the smirk.

“Thank you.” He squeezes his eyes shut, willing away the images his mind conjures, her blood on his hands, and prays to whichever gods are listening that if the worst comes her draw will be fast enough.

[fxckmebuck]

You are more.

Request: “Request Hey! Was wondering if I could get a request? It’s where the reader is Tony’s girlfriend (they’re really in love) and has been for a while but Bucky is completely in love with her? If you could write about Bucky seeing them doing random stuff that you think they would do and his thoughts on it all? Also, Bucky is super confused because she is not his type at all as she likes heavy metal and basically everything Tony does? Btw adore your writing :) ❤” -@y0ulo0ksoco0l

Summary: Bucky had never experienced true love until he met you.

Word count: 3,154

Warnings: Mild swearing

A/N: Thank you so much for the request, I had SO much fun writing it! By the way, I adore you :)

Masterlist

For some unknown reason, Bucky had woken up this morning knowing something was different: today was going to be good.

Loud laughter filled the air, every nook and cranny overflowing with the echo of happiness. The sun seemed to burn brighter as rays of sunlight gleamed off every surface and danced across Bucky’s skin. The darkness that normally marched around the back of Bucky’s mind had been lifted, gloom no longer infected his thoughts and a deep, dark mist was no longer sewn onto his eyelids.

Walking into the living area, which could be frequently mistaken for a youth club, Bucky rubbed the last remaining fragments of sleep out of his eyes. The laughter he heard from his bedroom had grown into a roar of hollering and Bucky certainly wasn’t a fan but, at least, it woke him up.

Despite being comfortably settled in and used to city life, large social interactions still wrecked havoc on Bucky’s anxiety and, therefore, he certainly didn’t want to somehow wind up being asked to ‘join in’ as, after that, there would be no escape. But, he certainly wasn’t helping himself, the longer he stood there, the higher the risk of being caught and reeled in.

All he needed to do was get into the kitchen, get something to eat and get out, a couple more minutes and he’d be able to slip back into the comfort of his room Yet, his feet stayed firmly planted in the doorway, his body turned to ice.

As he desperately attempted to calm his mind and slow the frantic beat of his heart, he took in his surroundings. However, while observing the theatrical setting before him, he noticed a person that he had not seen before.

Every pair of eyes were latched onto her image, confidence dripped off the end of her slender fingers, long blonde hair rippled down her back in waves of delight and elegance, fused with an overwhelming sense of sexiness. She was mesmerising.

Bucky’s heart lost control, once again, and a faint blush climbed upon his cheeks. Never in his life had he seen someone so beautiful. For all Bucky knew, she could have been a model. Her body was perfectly proportioned, her smile sparkled and she was surrounded by an aura of happiness and light. With a flick of her finger, she was able to capture the interest of the people surrounding her; she made them smile and laugh, her confidence was intimidating, to say the least. She reminded Bucky of Tony, well except for the fact Tony was an asshole and the woman before him looked like the complete opposite.

Like the rest of the Tower’s occupants he felt hypnotised by her presence, his body begged to join in, to reach out and touch her…

But, Bucky had to keep away. In the silent corners of his day, demons would creep under his skin and plague his mind –he was still dangerous, he had never stopped being dangerous. Whenever he got close to someone, fate would dangle them before his eyes then rip them away. He did not belong with people of such beauty, he did not deserve to.

Ripping his eyes from her figure, he trekked back to the comfort of his bedroom and begged his mind to forget the addictive smell of her fragrance.

A few hours later the laughter had died down and Bucky assumed the coast was clear. So, he got up and he headed to the gym, desperate to relieve the tension that pulled at his heart strings.

As soon as he opened the door, he sensed the gym was not empty like he had hoped. As he looked around, searching for the intruder, a sea of blonde hair flashed at the corner of his eye. Shit.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky vowed to ignore her. All he had to do was stay for twenty minutes to reduce the suspicion that he was avoiding her then, leave. What could go wrong?

Heading in the opposite direction of where she was positioned, Bucky put in his earphones and turned his music up to full volume, praying that the authoritative lullaby of an orchestra would settle his nerves.

After twenty minutes had flown by, he silently thanked the Gods. He could leave and, oh, he planned to as quickly as possible. Hastily, he turned off the machine, wiped the sweat gathering at his brow and turned around. But, of course, he happened to collide with a body much smaller than his, throwing the person to the ground.

A deep red sprung upon his face as he apologised profusely, helping the young woman up, whom after brushing herself off and gathering her wits, thrust her hand forward, a look of embarrassment flushed through her cheeks.

“I’m really sorry; I shouldn’t have been standing so close. I guess I just grew incompetent in my excitement to finally meet you, Steve has said the most wonderful things.” Her voice flowed like honey and her eyelashes fluttered as she sent a sweet smile Bucky’s way.

Stupefied, Bucky searched for something to say. He longed to shake her hand but she’d held up the wrong one, he’d have to shake it with his metal arm and he wasn’t quite ready for that. Just as he’d formed a sentence that was somewhat coherent within the mess that was his mind, the woman in front of him filled the empty silence instead.

Dropping her arm, her smile faltered as a realised her mistake. “Anyway, it’s lovely to meet you even if I’m currently drenched in sweat. My name’s Rosemary, maybe we could hang out sometime? It was a real shame that you couldn’t join us this morning.” Giving Bucky one last smile, Rosemary turned around and started to leave the gym. Thinking that she’d upset Bucky, she deemed it best to just give him some time; maybe she could try again later.

On cue, Bucky’s stomach growled and gathering all the courage he could find, he blurted out the sentence that led to the blossoming of a beautiful friendship. “Do you to get McDonald’s?”

Stopping in her tracks, a smile burst onto Rosemary’s face. “I’m not a big fan of fast food but, after we’ve cleaned up, we could cook something? There’s no point Tony having a massive kitchen if no one uses it.” Turning round to see Bucky’s reaction, her smile grew even as she was faced with a warm smile and Bucky’s sparkling, grey eyes.

“That sounds good!” Bucky agreed.

Every day since then Rosemary and Bucky cooked together: sometimes it was for the whole team, sometimes it was just for them and sometimes they used their impressive skills to microwave some popcorn as they sat down to watch a movie. It gave Bucky, the release he needed. For that small part of his day, he could relax and forget every worry-

“Buck! The plums! You’re burning the plums.” Rosemary shouted as she rushed over to save the day. Well, every worry except burning the food in front of him.

“Are you doing okay today? You look very distracted.” Her voice turned soft as the turned towards Bucky, giving him her full attention.

The truth was that he was more than alright: he felt like he was on cloud nine. He and Rosemary had grown exponentially closer as they spent more and more time together, he woke up looking forward to seeing her and feel asleep still laughing at the mischief they wound themselves up in that day. His nightmares were fading and his face frequently wore a smile, a major improvement since when he’d first arrived.

Day by day he also felt himself falling further in love with her. He now noticed the way Rosemary’s hair shone white in the sunlight, how her blue iris’ were surrounded by a ring of emerald green, how her love of rock music (much to Bucky’s disgust) fuelled her shower sessions in the morning and how, despite her confidence, she often got embarrassed when given compliments.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Bucky sighed, a smile written upon his face. If only he had the confidence to show her how he really felt.

“Good,” Rosemary replied, her voice almost a whisper as she doubted Bucky had told her the truth. “However, I have some bad news: I won’t be able to make our sessions anymore. Tony gets back from his mission tomorrow so, from now on, I’m going to be one very busy lady.”

Bucky’s body tensed up, what was he going to do? How could he get through her day without the smell of her sweet perfume or her infectious laughter? How dare Tony steal his happiness from him!

Much to Bucky’s disgust, Rosemary wasn’t lying or even exaggerating. She always seemed to be doing something or going somewhere and elevator conversations turned into quick nods of acknowledgement as she flew past him on the way to an important meeting, hugs turned into small smiles as they connected eyes from different sides of a room. It was killing Bucky.

His nightmares blazed throughout the night, scorching his mind and covering his skin in a thick layer of sweat. His room became his sanctuary once again, as he missed movie nights and stayed away from the smallest sign of human contact.

But Bucky wasn’t the only one his isolation was affecting, Steve’s heart hung heavy in his chest as he watched his best friend fall backwards into a pit of sorrow. Steve had to do something.

“What the hell happened to you, Buck?” Steve exclaimed, his throat dry and sore. Seeing Bucky like this filled him with so much pain and he couldn’t take it anymore.

Turning his head to look straight into Steve’s eyes, Bucky’s own eyes filled with tears. “I think I fell in love,” he croaked out. The look in Bucky’s eyes was indescribable; they were coated with a raging insufferable ache that turned his grey eyes dark with despair.

“Buck…” Steve sighed, reaching out to comfort his friend, his breath full of unease.

“Go on. Tell me that my feelings aren’t real, that I’m imagining them.” Bucky taunted, his voice laced with spite.

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Steve replied, averting his gaze to the floor.

“Yes, you were! You were going to say exactly that, just in the overly polite language that comes out of your mouth. I’ve had enough of people telling me what to feel and what not to feel.” The volume of Bucky’s voice increased as his body turned to stone; the only inclination of his true emotions was that sad look in his eyes.

Just as Steve was about to bombard Bucky with questions about his strong feelings of affection, it all fell into place. One word explaining it all: Rosemary. Without realising it she had strung Bucky along, every time they met he had latched more of himself onto her until Tony came back and she left. Steve would understand if Bucky had described it as a crush but love? How could you feel such strong feelings towards someone who was dating your enemy?

That was the thing: Bucky had no idea. Not wanting Bucky to hate her like he hated Tony, Rosemary had kept it from him. Her intentions were innocent but she’d wound up breaking Bucky’s heart into a million pieces. There was so much Bucky didn’t know that he’d filled the gaps with his own explanations about his arm driving Rosemary away, how she grew scared of him, how she got bored of his company and would now do anything to stay out of his way.

How was Steve going to explain the truth to Buck?

“She’s not the one for you, Buck, and you know it. There’s a difference between being in love with a person and being in love with the idea of that person. Or, maybe it’s the idea of having someone but she’s not yours to have.” Steve didn’t know how else to say it. But Bucky obviously didn’t take it the right way as he quickly stood up, mumbling phrases of hatred directed towards the world under his breath.

Steve was lost, he didn’t know what he could say nor do that would make it better. Maybe there wasn’t anything he could do.

“She’s dating Tony.” The words left his mouth before he could stop them tumbling out, he didn’t want to say it but someone had to tell Bucky and if Rosemary wouldn’t then it was up to Steve.

Bucky stopped, each word slicing a fresh wound into his heart.

“They’ve been dating for what seems like forever. Yes, that time has been filled with breaks here and there but at the end of the day, they always manage to wind up in each other’s arms. I’m not trying to manipulate your feelings, or whatever you’re accusing me of but, Buck, do you even know what you’re feeling?”

Bucky gathered his broken pieces together and kept walking.

“She’s truly a lovely person; she’s intelligent, kind, confident and normal. She doesn’t have a dark past or a hidden super power, the world doesn’t plaster her face in every museum known to man and a secret organisation doesn’t try and take her down. But that doesn’t mean she’s the right person for you. Someone is out there waiting for you to be their hero in shining armour but that girl isn’t Rosemary. She already her hero, she has Tony.”

Bucky was soon out of sight as he rushed away, fearing the words would blow out the small flame of happiness he felt inside him.

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Steve cried, consumed with grief at the sight of his friend falling apart right before his eyes and he realised it was too late. Bucky was already torn into pieces.

Days and night soon merged into one as time was not a concept that interested Bucky anymore, he had to let himself grieve and he didn’t care how long it took. Steve’s words had brought him a sense of comfort and he realised the images that he made up in his head were thankfully just a product of his imagination. Bucky had no choice but wait till his body fixed itself, there was no cure for heartbreak or way he would speed up the process but he was willing to wait. It would all work out in the end.

Bucky no longer isolated himself from his friends; he joined in on games night and had frequent competitions with Sam in the gym. He laughed and let himself enjoy the comfort of his closest companions. Of course, the itch inside his chest remained but with every passing moment, it started to fade.

Then, finally, one day it clicked.

The feelings Bucky had once felt were not love, they were just as complicated but not the same. More than anything, it was a sense of admiration that consumed him. He was awestruck by her confidence and charisma but didn’t want them for himself.

Rosemary was an excellent cook but his plum pies were better. Rosemary was a good fighter but Bucky’s metal arm always gave him the upper hand. Don’t get it wrong, it was not a competition to Bucky but he realised all he’d done was put himself down by comparing himself to Rosemary. He’d instilled his happiness in the thought of her and that was dangerous, it had caused him to lose himself. He was too focused on her excellence to appreciate his own. It was impossible to truly compare himself to someone else as, that person had not experienced the same things as Bucky, not had to deal with the same grief and happiness Bucky had been through.

He realised that now and he realised how Steve was right all along: Rosemary was not the girl for him.

Months had passed and Bucky’s heart had healed, he certainly wasn’t ready for another heartbreak but was, somewhat, putting himself out there. He’d gone on a few dates ranging from bad to beyond terrible and maybe it was because he wasn’t used to modern dating or maybe it was Sam whispering (the worst) advice into his ear but he’d decided to ‘go with the flow’. It would happen when the time was right and Bucky was prepared to wait.

To Bucky, dates felt staged and unnatural. The women always seemed to be both kinky as hell and extremely bad at hiding it or scared. Two things Bucky was certainly not ready for.

Walking into the coffee shop, he was caressed by the warm smell of cappuccinos and hot chocolates. The store had recently opened up and, despite its popularity, the queues were short and the drinks were of the highest standard- according to Scott anyway, not that the man needed coffee anytime of the day. But the thing that interested Bucky the most was that upstairs was a library, anytime from 6am-11pm you could waltz into the store grab a coffee, sit down and read your favourite book.

Once Bucky had grabbed his drink, he practically ran up the stairs in order to get his favourite seat in the house. Stuck in the corner next a massive window, Bucky could sit peacefully in silence while admiring the views of upstate New York.

Bucky read in order to calm his mind, the words were a lullaby to his soul that slowed the erratic beating of his heart and transported him to another reality. He could spend days pouring himself into the pages as the dusty old smell sung his mind to sleep. A mind that overworked and over thought, haunted by the taste of blood and the screams of innocents.

“Sir, would you like some more coffee?” Your quiet voice questioned, rescuing Bucky from his thoughts. Looking up Bucky was awe-struck and with a quick nod of his head, he drank you in.

There was a shyness to the woman before him and a softness in your voice, your beauty was not regular like super models but gleamed furiously in the delicate edges of your face and the swell of your lips. It was as if the stars had decided to rest inside the beauty of your eyes, wrapped up in the warm hues of your soul.

Your beauty was not something that could physically be held, it was not determined by the size of your jeans or the colour of your hair but flowed through the warm winds that rippled through your clothes and intertwined with the fiery passion that raced through your veins.

You were neither a model nor someone who walked down red carpets and men would not stare as you walked through the street, due to the fact you were not the embodiment of society’s twisted definition of beauty.

And you were simply not what Bucky had wished for, you were more.

A/N: Constructive criticism is always appreciated! REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[denisecua]

Having stayed at a hostel that’s just a 10-minute brisk walk away from the Ximending shopping area allowed me to do several rounds of mini shopping sprees, despite my pretty short stay in Taiwan. This way, I got to compare prices, weigh my options, go back for any missed must-buys, do some rebuys because I am a hoarder, and do researching in the in-betweens!

Ximending, as you may know, is very similar to Korea’s Myeongdong, just a bit smaller. They have lots of girly stores (PRIORITY) like Cosmed, Watsons, Tomod’s — Taiwan’s counterpart of Sasa and Bonjour in Hong Kong.

While these three are the bigger chains, I personally had more fun going to the humbler boutiques, such as 86 Shop which has highly competitive prices for most products, and the pretty obscure Paris Strawberry which btw isn’t available on Google Maps so thank God for blogs that gave me directions to find it! 

Directions for Paris Strawberry: Look for Uniqlo which should be on your left, then turn to the alley on your left side and look for a girl character wearing a strawberry hat. Store is on the 2/F so you have to take the stairs.)

Anyway, since I just got back home yesterday, I haven’t tested out many of the products I’ll be sharing with you just yet. Nonetheless, please know that I’ve done my fair share of googling, reading and YouTubing, and have found that these are the brands to watch out for! 🙂

DHC Cleansing Oil

My bestfriend, Diane, was first to go crazy over this DHC Cleansing Oil. She got introduced to it by the hotel she stayed at in Tokyo. (Gotta give it up to Japan hotels for providing top-quality toiletries!) She said it prevented her from breaking out from traveling, and made her skin so nice!

A few months later, we started seeing one rave post about it after another from trusty online sites. All of a sudden it’s everyone’s holy grail. I’m pretty sure it’s been famous ever since, though, but it was only recently that it rang a bell.

Fast-forward again to Taipei, while I wasn’t really keen on trying out the product just yet, I ended up buying one. Just one at first. I got the 70ml since I thought it was fairly cheap at NT 249 as opposed to its resale price here in Manila (i.e. Lazada – where Diane got her 70ml at PHP 750). Exchange rate from NT to PHP is around 1.7, in case you’re wondering.

The product is primarily made of olive oil, and is rich in vitamins and antioxidants. I liked it at first try, and loved it the second, third, fourth time around. It’s powerful at taking off makeup, such that you can really see the oil getting colored with foundation as you lather. The scent is okay as it is pretty mild–smells like olive oil. It’s not my favorite scent in the world as I like it fruity, but I feel like my skin likes it because it’s fragrance-free. And I don’t know if it’s just placebo effect, just because the product site says it so, but I feel like it truly nourishes my skin as it cleanses it! It makes it supple, and healthier in appearance. Also, no residue!!!

This led me to buying again, and this time, the bigger size at 100ml. It sells as low as NT 499-599, and while all beauty stores have this product in stock, not all can sell it this cheap. I got it at NT 599 in 86 Shop, and then an hour later, saw it on sale (!) in Sasa at NT 499!!! I hate not getting the BEST deals, so even if it doesn’t make sense, I bought another 100ml bottle just because I could not miss out on this deal. (My boyfriend lectured me when I told him about this story. So I am aware that’s not normal. But… HUHU.) (Also, please follow @dendendeals on Instagram if you love good deals as much as I do! LOL!)

Anyway, this is taking longer than intended. Verdict is, it’s a really great product! While I’ve only used it for a few days so far, it holds a lot of promise to the extent that my Banila Co Clean It Zero might take a backseat in the meantime. The only possibly negative thing about it is that it seems to run out fast. I use it at the rate of 2-3 pumps at night to remove makeup, and I could already see a significant emptied space in the bottle for just about half a week into it. (Luckily, I got two big bottles more.)

Sheet Masks!!!!!!!!!!

If there’s one thing you can buy plenty of in Taiwan, it’s definitely the sheet masks! Surprisingly, their masks are even cheaper than in Korea. Not all, of course. But they do have some of the lowest price points ever– from NT 9 and up!!! So I bought a total of 50! :))

Here are the mask brands you should look out for:

My Scheming

I was able to try the Gudetama ones, thanks to Diane who gave it as pasalubong last year when she went to Taipei. Initially, I got bummed that it was a plain white sheet mask inside, and not a Gudetama face. (I wanted to look like Gudetama!!!!) 😦 But, it has a nice moisturizing effect on the skin. I’d say this is one of the better ones I’ve tried so far.

LoveMore

This is a Korean brand but it seems to be more popular in Taiwan.

Sexy Look

They currently have Disney-themed masks. The ones I got are the villains because I thought it was funny, plus it’s cheaper at NT 39 a mask as compared to the princess ones at NT 69.

  Beauty Diary

This is one of the most famous Taiwanese mask brands, and I just fell in love with their packaging. Would you look at those beauties!!! I got to try one already and it seems promising. My only gripe is that the mask is too small for my big face. Still, I would repurchase. I get so much satisfaction just by staring at the lovely packaging, I’m not even kidding.

Annie’s Way Jelly Mask

Here’s another Taiwan homegrown– Annie’s Way. I’ve seen a couple of posts about it when I looked up “Taipei Skincare Hauls” and I knew I had to try it!

This got me so tired, though. It was exceptionally hard to find!!! It wasn’t available in all the big stores, and eventually I found one at Paris Strawberry. That’s how I discovered that shop, by the way. Unfortunately, they only had it this variant (Charcoal Black) at NT 450 (same SRP in the website). So even though I wanted the others more (i.e. the bestselling Arbutin + Hyaluronic Acid Brighteing, and the Aloe Anti-Acne), and after all the searching and walking and sweating that I did looking for this brand, there was no way I’d leave empty-handed!

How to use: After cleansing, apply 0.3-0.5 cm of product on the face. Leave it there a while, then once skin is softened, scrape off impurities using the spatula provided in the box.

They say results are instant and quite amazing, so I can’t wait to dive into this one soon!

Pimple Patches

To be honest, pimple patches can be costlier than, let’s say, pimple creams. However, I’ve grown fonder and fonder of them over time since they can be super effective in healing pimples pretty fast especially for those with instantly emerging ‘heads.’

Acnes and Nexcare are good brands for this product.

Hada Labo Goku-Jun Super Hyaluronic Acid (Light)

I saw MUA Tamara Pineda post this on IG Story a couple of weeks ago, and managed to screenshot it. So the moment I saw this familiar bottle in store, I knew I had to get it. I didn’t even know what it was for at first, because there wasn’t any English descriptions written. But Tamara explained it was Hyaluronic Acid (see benefits here) and that’s like a magic word in the skincare world, so viola! Purchased!

I’ve been using it for a few days now and so far so good! No bumps, no new pimples, and skin feels generally nourished. I could attribute that to this, or to the DHC Cleansing Oil, or perhaps both!

Rating on Makeup Alley is great, too. It’s at 4.2!

Lapcos Beauty Sponges

Now, makeup! Sadly, I didn’t get to buy a lot because IDK maybe there weren’t really many attractive options to begin with. They carry a lot of Korean brands such as Lapcos but mostly for more expensive prices than how much I got in Korea. But these sponges were an exception because 1.) I didn’t find this in Korea, and 2.) 86 Shop had testers and even a sink so I was able to try it wet and it was great!!! It has a flat surface, colors are cute, and for 2 sponges you only have to pay NT 286. Good deal!

If I were to rank the good beauty sponges I’ve tried, below would be my ranking — 1 being the best:

EcoTools

Beauty Blender

Lapcos

Real Techniques

The fact that they’re second to the best ones ever says a lot already!

3CE Mood Recipe Lip Color Mini Kit

3CE is also another popular Korean makeup brand. I visited their shop at Style Nanda in Seoul before but everything seemed pricey at that time. For some reason, this set retails pretty cheap at 86 Shop (yet again) at only NT 888. That’s cheap because when I went to another Taiwanese store (Little 3) the price for the exact same set is at NT 1400! Ridiculous!!!

Long story short, I bought it because it was a good deal. HAHAHAHA. I’m really a sucker for good deals, and that’s an understatement.

Another reason for buying is because I fell in love with Colourpop’s Parker lippie stix. Shade is similar to these. More on the brown/peachy side, and it’s my new default lippie that matches whatever eye makeup I’m wearing. So I figured I should buy more similar shades. Hence, these. Hehehe.

***

And this wraps up my beauty haul! Looking back, I realize I didn’t shop THAT much. So, good job to me! ❤

  Taipei Beauty & Skincare Haul Having stayed at a hostel that's just a 10-minute brisk walk away from the Ximending shopping area allowed me to do several rounds of mini shopping sprees, despite my pretty short stay in Taiwan.

[mannycentral]

STORY TIME! Just letting you know this is a long post so don't read if you don't have the time. I'm so tired of dating lames. Seriously, I went on two different dates. The first one, claimed he was super into me. I drove 3 hours to get meet him (would have been 1 hour on the freeway, but I haven't learned yet cause I'm a new driver so I took the streets) and he didn't even appreciate it. When he got in my car he broke my viser, I was so mad about it like have you never been inside of a car? How did you break this? Then, he suggests I take him to the beach, which I did! And while we're there he's kind of touchy which is fine. Eventually, I kissed him but soon after that he stops paying any attention to me and is taking Selfies for days. I'm like dude, you got a few pictures in now let's get back to the date. He's still on his phone so I'm like whatever. I take him back home where he finally kisses me back but is more like a make out session and I'm caught off guard by it. But he tells me to text him when I get home so I agree. I get home, text him, he doesn't really text me back. This goes on for like 2 weeks. He's uninterested, doesn't talk to me, says he's going through things, says he can't tell me over the phone that he has to do it in person. I'm not going to drive 3 hours just for him to tell me something he can tell me on face time. Eventually, we talk and he says he's got a lot on his mind and I get that. He tells me he's going to party it up in Vegas for a few days and kind of says he might fuck with someone else if he meets someone and I'm really dude? But he says he's "joking" so I ignore it. Not to mention whenever I would flirt with he wouldn't flirt back with me anymore. He'd just shut me down with that's cute, or awww. So I finally just said hey, if you're not interested just let me know so I don't waste my time. He got mad about it and basically said bye lol I'm not surprised, but I knew this guy was probably just trying to keep me around. He was probably talking to other people. Anyways, the second date I went on was even weirder. I started talking to this dude and I wasn't all that interested because I was still salty about the first date mentioned above lol but we ended up talking on the phone and it was the most coolest conversation I ever had with another guy in a long time. We talked about our work lives, we talked about our goals and aspirations, current obstacles in the way and what we could do to get around them. It felt good. It felt progressive like I could grow by being connected with this person somehow so I was digging it. The next morning lol.. Tell me why this asshole sends me a good morning text saying "Good morning, Fugly"? I was laying in bed like maybe it was a typo? HAHA 😂 no, there's no way. So I asked, hey, was that for me? And he blatantly said yes and I said well that's rude and idk why you would say that. And he says," I mean, fugly in a hottie way " and I was like... How long have I been out of the dating scene? Oh yeah, four years! (broke up with my ex btw) but is this what the kids are saying to each other now??? Because that to me sounds inexcusable. So I decided to let it go AFTER he apologized because everybody deserves one chance. Fast forward to out actual date, now, I'm not judging anybody but when I met him he was a lot more feminine then he led on during our phone call. It's NOT a bad thing, I don't care about that. Fem guys are awesome, Masc guys are awesome. As long as you're not an asshole to me, I fucking love you lol but I'm only mentioning this because I feel like his diva self was revealed and he was kind of rude here and there with little comments. Anyways, he's high maintenance. He seems to come from a more fortunate home than I do and didn't quite understand my perspective on things which is fine but he was judging. He has a nice car and was complaining about how ugly it is and I was saying how if I had his car I would be so happy because mine is a bucket lol my headlight is hanging off a bit and my bumper is hanging off a bit. It's got scratches, but hey, I get to point A and point B just fine and I pay my bills so fuck off if you think differently 😂 so we went to watch a movie, he picks boss baby and I'm okay with it. I love animation anyways. He turns to me, says what are you wearing? And I said huh? He says whatever bath and body works you're wearing, it smells. I said, oh it's almond and vanilla 😁😁 and he says oh no wonder why it stinks. And I was so taken back like I thought you said it smells good? And he said no, I never said it smelt good, I just said it smells. And I was like fuck you lol I didn't say that but I was thinking it because I'm not rude and the optimist in me assumed it was going to be a compliment because who doesn't like almond or vanilla? Are you Satan? Plus, I didn't want to wear anything overpowering. It's a pretty basic scent. But he goes on to say he prefers more sweet and pretty fragrances. I'm like alright, whatever. I didn't give up just yet so I reached for his hand and I grabbed it. Held it. Thought it'd be cute, he starts complaining that my grip is too hard and I'm hurting his hand. I'm like omg. Sorry? He was literally just bitching and complaining the whole date now that I think about it more. But we were watching the movie and surprisingly it was really funny and I kept laughing and so was he. We turn to each other while we're laughing and to my fucking surprise he grabs my face and starts making out with me. I'm in this whoa phase like what's going on? I didn't think he wanted me at this point. After we're done kissing, he just smiles at me and I'm looking at him for a response so I say what? He shakes his head and says "nothing" . I'm so confused at this point because does he like me? Does he think I'm gross? Idk. Another 15 mins pass, he pulls the same move! We're making out again, same response. Still fucking confused! The movie is over, we go to our cars. He's sitting in his and I'm leaning on mine cause we're parked next to each other. He points out the headlight on my car and I'm like Yeah, I know. He starts bumping Ariana Grande's "Into You" says that's his jam or something. I was like are you trying to tell me something? Haha eventually he leaves, I go home. I text him saying that I had a good time with him and hope he had a good one as well. He said yes, he did but then pulls the same shit the first guy did. Stops talking to me. This time, I didn't hit him up. I just let the dude fade away lol I was like if you're not interested then you'll just disappear so I'm going to go ahead and let you do that. Which is exactly what happened. Havent heard from him so I deleted his number last night. The date was almost two weeks ago. But, here I am. After two shitty dates I've already lost hope in dating in the LGBT community. I could respect more if people were more upfront and say that they're not feeling me. Rather than lie to my face, show me affection by kissing me and holding my hand, etc. Like if I'm not interested I'll let you know. Not in a rude way but I'll let you know. I'm not going to lead someone on. What's the point in that? I don't know lol but anyways, I'm a little discouraged about going on another date right now. That's the whole point of this long ass post because I have a few people asking me out but I don't want to go. I feel like it'll just be another let down another waste of my time. So, should I go? Or should I just stay single. What would you guys do? Would you keep dating?