#anyways GRRRRRR ARMS ARMS ARMS

[sootspritesivy]

iris - han jisung

word count - 1k+ pairing - han jisung x reader warnings - none, just immense softness author’s note: *clears throat, taps mic* is this thing working? anyway, hi y’all i am VERY new to stayblr and to writing on stayblr. this is my first work ever on here. it was born out of my head full of han jisung’s cover of i love you so and my carnal, visceral, insatiable need for him to cover iris by the goo goo dolls... i can picture it already grrrrrr. anyway, hope you guys like this soft little hannie writeup like i did. show it some love if you can xx and i’d be very happy to hear ur thoughts on it <3 

The rain pours outside and the pattering against the window creates a soothing thrum in the confines of your room. The lamp by your bed casts a warm glow. The strong earthy scent of the cups of coffee that you had brewed wafts in as you push open the door with your leg. Your boyfriend who lay on your bed, scrolling through his phone let out an appreciative hum and a deep sniff.

You slowly settle down into the mess of blankets and your boyfriend’s limbs. “Here you go, Hannie.”

“Thank you, baby,” he murmurs as he sits up, pressing a swift kiss to your cheek. He grabs a cup from your hand and throws the blanket over your knees as you cuddle up into his side. His phone now lay discarded by the bedside table and his attention was focused on you.

“I feel like every single thing that weighed down on me just fell away as soon as I stepped in here.”

A gentle smile makes its way onto your lips. “Yeah?”

“I missed you so much. I love work, but I missed you so much. It gets so hard sometimes. Somedays I’m tired to my bones and I want to fall apart. I don’t want to face the world or go on stage…Just wanna crawl into your arms and lock us away like this.”

You reach out to him, hands sweeping beneath the hood of his cozy sweatshirt, fingers weaving into his hair. “I know, baby. And you still went out there every night and put on the performance of your life. And now you have hours and hours to be in my arms, just like you want.”

Han looks down at you, eyes glimmering with a fondness that leaves them a little glazed. He leans over, lips finding yours in a soft press of flesh. He kisses you once, twice before he pulls back and away. His coffee mug joins his phone on the bedside table before he fumbles out of the bed, walking away.

“Be right back,” he calls out behind him.

You sip on your coffee revelling in the bittersweet taste of it while wondering where Jisung had suddenly disappeared. You looked at the window, the raindrops merging into one another in a glistening array of oranges and blues reflected on the glass.

A few minutes later, Jisung walks in with his guitar in his arms.

“Oh, are we getting some music to keep us company?”

He flashes you a wide smile as he joins you again. He settles back against the headboard, guitar resting over his thighs. “I have a song for you. Makes me think of you.”

Your heart flutters in your chest. Jisung always makes your heart flutter - as if he was still just a crush. Like your fingers just brushed against each other’s. Like you were sneaking glances and caught the other already looking. Like the first press of his lips against your cheek. Or your trembling fingers as they held his for the first time. Like the tremble of his breath in your ear that first night. “For me? Which one is it?”

He only smiles in response as his eyes focus on settling his finger over the right chords before he begins strumming.

“I’d give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow.”

As you register the words and recognise the song, there’s an immediate sting at the back of your nose building up. Your eyes quickly water as Han’s mellow voice bleeds through the room, reverberating around you, embracing you whole as it makes its way right into your heart, your soul.

He’s a vision, right there in your bed. His hood over his head, hair messy, in a pair of raggedy, old sweatpants. The lamp crowns him with a balmy halo as he gazes right at you while singing. He looks so at ease like he’s exactly where he needs to be, exactly where he belongs. He’s right there looking like the love of your life.

“And I don’t want the world to see me, ‘cause I don’t think that they’d understand.”

A stray tear finally escapes your glistening eyes, running down your cheek. Somehow, if it was possible, Han’s eyes only grew fonder.

“When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”

You sniff quietly, wiping away the tear as quickly as it came. You weren’t sad, no. How could you be, with the man of your dreams sitting in front of you, in your little haven of a room, singing to you like you were the only one who needed to listen to his voice like this.

As the last chords of the song die out, Jisung sits there for a few seconds, his pretty doe eyes watching you carefully.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You whisper, voice still a little watery.

Han’s lips curve into a tender smile. “I’m going to marry you.”

Your breath hitches. “Hannie…”

“I know it. There’s a lot of things I’m unsure of. But this is not one of them. I’m going to marry you one day.”

He quickly puts away his guitar when you surge towards him, finding himself with a lap full of you. Your hands cup his face as you lean your forehead against his. “You mean that?”

“Of course, baby. I mean it.”

You kiss him deeply, the taste of coffee on your tongue drawing out a hum out of him. You pull away only to pepper kisses all over his face - on his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, his eyelids, his ears. His laughter fills the air and his hands squeeze your waist affectionately.

“It seems you like the idea of it,” he mumbles, chasing your lips again.

You huff out a breathless giggle as he pushes you off his lap and into the mattress. “Well yeah, I am gonna marry you too, Han Jisung.”

A wide grin blooms on his face as he hovers over you. He’s tugging off his hoodie and leaning down towards you, as he whispers. “Wouldn’t dream of having it any other way.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

Meng Yao somehow ends up training under Baoshan Sanren

ao3

Meng Yao had long ago learned that things that seemed too good to be true often were. He wasn't sure why arriving at Lanling City and seeing the grandeur of Jinlin Tower had temporarily wiped it from his mind. 

Did you really think that you'd be welcomed with open arms? he sneered at his stupid former self. Did you think that they'd give you a chance to prove yourself just because Mother said they would? Since when was Mother right about anything?

He'd gone straight to Jinlin Tower to present his pearl and waited to be recognized. The guards had told him that he was lucky: he'd arrived a day after the (legitimate) young master's birthday, where there'd been a great big celebration, managed from start to finish by the Sect Leader’s jealous wife - he would've been thrown out on his ear for sure if he'd arrived that day. Meng Yao, whose birthday it had also been and who had only arrived a day late because he'd stopped on the side of the road to celebrate it by himself, had smiled awkwardly and said nothing. 

He'd said nothing as they talked about how wonderful things would be once he got granted the promised audience with the Sect Leader, his father, and he said nothing, too, as they turned on him, biding him up and dragging him away under the indifferent eyes of that selfsame father.

"They say that the immortal mountain is fond of abandoned children on the verge of death," the Sect Leader of Lanling Jin had remarked. “Perhaps she will find it in her heart to answer our petitions if we accompany them with a gift.”

Meng Yao said nothing. Even if they hadn’t gagged him, there wouldn’t have been any point – he had a silver tongue and eyes capable of seeing what others wanted, a knack for making himself useful and no pride in doing so, but that still required him to have a chance.

His father had never had any intention of giving him a chance.

He was taken away.

While on the road, still tied up and even collared to the carriage to ensure he didn’t try to save his wretched life by jumping off and running away, he heard the speculation of the guards, which explained a few things. It seemed that Baoshan Sanren had had a female disciple come down the mountain some time ago, Cangse Sanren, and that she had piqued Jin Guangshan’s interest. One guard had believed that Jin Guangshan was in love with her, while another scoffed and pointed out that he had all the women he could ever want; a third, quietly, suggested that their sect leader’s interest had come, most of all, from the lady’s offhand comment that she had known Yanling Daoren personally despite the centuries separating their generations.

Meng Yao thought this last, if true, was the most likely. For the man who could buy anything, what else could he want but more time to enjoy his riches? Men throughout history had longed for immortality.

Men with power, anyway. Men like Meng Yao weren’t even qualified to long to live until tomorrow.

When they arrived on whatever lonely mountaintop the Jin sect had decided was the most likely to be near Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, the guards beat him until he was on the verge of death, just as his father had ordered – breaking bones, leaving bruises – and then left him chained to a tree and shivering, with a scroll clasped in his numb hands, as they trooped back down the mountain, their task completed.

He’d hoped, briefly, that they would go too far and put him out of his misery, but he’d never had any luck. It would be the slow death of dehydration and starvation for him, or maybe some passing vicious animal looking to try out its teeth.

“Grrrrrr!”

Meng Yao blinked. That was not a vicious animal.

“Hello, there,” he said to the child that had burst through the bushes with the smile that came to his lips as naturally as breathing. Where there were people, there was hope – maybe he could convince this child to go get an adult that would be able to help him. “What are you doing here, little master?”

The child growled at him, stamping his feet.

“Oh, I see! My mistake. What are you doing here, oh proud and vicious beast?”

The child blinked, then giggled, putting his hands on his round cheeks to hide his blush. “I’m playing,” he said cheerfully. “We’re still high enough here that it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Xiao Xingchen!”

“Oops. That’s my shixiong.” Xiao Xingchen put his hands behind his back and looked guilty. “I’m not supposed to go out too far…”

Meng Yao felt a spark of amusement underneath all his pain. He’d always liked children, no matter how annoying they could sometimes be, and this was a particularly attractive child, with features that looked like they’d be beautiful one day. “It’s all right,” he said. “Beasts don’t recognize boundary lines. How were you supposed to know?”

Xiao Xingchen looked thoughtful.

“Ah, shidi, there you are!” A young man stepped through the brush. He was tall and striking in appearance, with features a little too strong to be described as classically handsome, and he was dressed all in black, with a sword at his waist that was just as black. “What are you doing this far down?”

A strange statement, to Meng Yao’s mind. He’d seen the path the guards had dragged him up – they were already virtually at the mountaintop, and this was the tallest mountain around. How much further ‘up’ could they go? A few steps, at most?

“I’m a beast!” Xiao Xingchen said excitedly, curling his fingers into claws and showing off his best growl.

“Beasts aren’t allowed to go down either,” the older man scolded, and Xiao Xingchen pouted.

“Beasts don’t recognize boundary lines,” he said righteously, then pointed at Meng Yao. “He said so!”

The young man turned to look at Meng Yao, seeming to see him for the first time.

“Did he,” he said neutrally, clearly observing Meng Yao’s poor condition and the chain and collar that connected his neck to a nearby tree like a slave. Meng Yao shrugged, or tried to. “Gongzi, what happened to you?”

“A misfortune,” Meng Yao said, and glanced down at the scroll he was still clutching at his hand like a moron. The only thing his father had given to him, and it was to be delivered through his death. Was that all a father was? “If you could see it within your heart to release me, I would be grateful.”

“Who put you here?” the young man persisted in asking. “And why?”

Meng Yao didn’t especially want to put words to it. Putting words to it would make his father’s betrayal real…but who was he deluding? The betrayal was real.

“I have a message for Baoshan Sanren, the immortal master,” he said, smiling mirthlessly and nodding at the scroll in his hand. “My father understood that she only emerges from her mountain to find abandoned children on the verge of death, and so he decided to produce one. He has enough bastards that he could afford to spare a few, you see.”

A few of the more uppity ones, his father had said. The ones that didn’t know their place.

“That’s awful!” someone said – neither Xiao Xingchen nor the young man, since that voice was that of a girl in her teens, who at some point had sidled out of the forest as well. The young man swallowed a groan as he turned to look at her, but it was too late: she was grabbing at his sleeve and looking up at him with big round eyes. “Shixiong, we can’t just let that happen! We have to tell shifu about it!”

“We can’t make that sort of decision…”

“Shixiong!” the girl and the child both chorused. “Uphold righteousness!”

The young man groaned.

“All right, all right,” he grumbled. “If he agrees, we can tell shizun, and she can decide what to do about it…maybe if we’re really lucky, she’ll take offense to the whole idea and go down herself to make things right; that’ll show whoever sent this a thing or two. But probably not. You all know that right?”

They continued to beam at him.

“Ugh, fine. First things first, though. Shimei, will you break his chain?”

“Of course!” The girl had a horsetail whip at her belt, and when she snapped it outwards it cut straight through the metal of the chain with a force far beyond any normal item. A cultivator’s tool, Meng Yao thought wistfully, but he was too old to be a proper cultivator now – the most he could do would be to try to endlessly catch up, but that assumed some cultivation sect would take him in, when even his father had so ruthlessly rejected him.

His father, who might but probably wouldn’t be apparently taught ‘a thing or two’ by this young man’s master. Pity. The idea was appealing.

“What’s your name?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

“Meng Yao. Thank you for your kindness.”

“It’s not kindness,” the young man said with a sigh. “Don’t mistake it for kindness. If you come up the mountain with us, you can only go down again once in your life, and not for very long. Do you want to come with us, or do you want to make your way down the mountain yourself?”

Meng Yao’s legs were broken. There were vicious beasts and human bandits on the way down, twists and turns and endless misfortunes, and anyway he’d already done everything his mother could possibly ask of him when he’d gone to Lanling City and been so cruelly rejected.

“I’ll come with you,” Meng Yao said, having nothing to lose. “Thank you…ah…?”

“You can call me Yanling Daoren,” the young man said, and the name was familiar – where had he heard it? If only his mind were not so fogged with pain, he’d be able to remember. “Shimei is Cangse Sanren, and the youngest is Xiao Xingchen. You’ll be our shidi, I suppose, even if it’s tricky…oh, never mind. Shizun will figure out the ages, she always does. All right, up you go.”

He scooped Meng Yao into his arms.

They were warm.

“Last chance to change your mind,” Yanling Daoren warned.

Meng Yao shook his head.

“All right, then.” He started walking. Up the mountain, as mentioned. “I suppose, in that case, all I can do is welcome you to our sect.”

Meng Yao was going to ask where they were going – there really wasn’t much more mountain to go – but then he noticed that there was, actually. There was a lot more mountain, and all sorts of buildings: residences and training grounds and libraries and the like, in a style of architecture he’d never seen before, gaudy and colorful as a feathered bird.

“Shizun will want to see you first, of course,” Yanling Daoren said. “She always wants to meet the children, even if you’re a bit older than her usual.”

“I know,” Meng Yao said softly. “Too old to cultivate, right?”

“Not at all,” Yanling Daoren said, and laughed at Meng Yao’s surprise. “Maybe with other sect’s cultivation styles you are. You’ll find that things are a bit different here, when it comes to matters of age…you’ll need to start from the beginning, like Xiao Xingchen, but that’s all right. Who doesn’t like to be young?”

[jaysen-vor-hee-hees]

MORE GRRRRRR YRYRGRGRRR

Lily (OOH I LOVE THE SOUND OF THIS ONE) — Mason, Chris (👀), ooh Withera

Buttercup — Vantè

Daffodil — Johnny boy, Helix, Vesker

Violet — Helodite

hehehe >:3

Lily:

Mason - Touch. Absolutely touch. Mason constantly needs to have his hands on you at all times. From the moment you see him to the moment you leave he will always be touching you. Tracing little circles on your hip, resting his hand on your lower back, keeping an arm wrapped tightly around your waist when passing through an area he knows is more prone to malicious activity. Anywhere and always.

Chris - Gifts. He constantly just gives you things. Even if they’re expensive (because, in truth, he could just summon it). If not then it’s absolutely service, doing little things around the house or running errands for you.

Withera - Withera isn’t very good at displaying feelings. But when she does it’s usually in little love letters or cooking something for you to find on the bench when you wake up. She’s really reserved but she does love you.

Buttercup: Vanté has this really subtle habit of just biting the side of his tongue when he’s thinking. He’s still not sure why. And never hard enough to do any damage (even though it doesn’t matter because he would just regenerate it anyway) but still just. A little nom.

Daffodil:

Johnathon - Absolutely. Without question. Johnno is probably the most likeable OC I have. He’s just so sweet and considerate, like. Do you really believe this man would ever intentionally hurt someone? Me neither.

Helix - Oh, absolutely not. His coworkers all fucking hate his guts, and the only thing stopping the specialists from killing him is their agreement. He’s cold and uncaring. He’ll do your fucking head in because ehe’s just so annoying and you will want to punch him in the face.

Vesker - Mixed feelings? He gets along well with his coworkers, but otherwise he’s usually pretty feared by people. And for good reason, too.

Violet: Cattleya Baudelaire’s sub VA, but like... more soft spoken.

[tiodolma]

🤣 Morgana, Morgan and Morgause + Merlin and Mordred = dysfunctional villainous family.

funny thing about this scenario is that Starz Merlin is often gone for days or sometimes months at a time and nbd knows where tf he is. Sometimes he visits BBC Merlin in Camelot. Their conversation goes like this:

BBC Merlin: aren't you worried for your arthur?

Starz Merlin: nah. he's fine. he got knights and all.

BBC Merlin: how old is he?

Starz Merlin: dunno...about 17? i think he was 17 when i last saw him 2 months ago.

BBC Merlin: ALONE?!?!?!? and he's YOUNGER THAN ME?!?!?

Starz Merlin: He was helping build the castle with his bros and whatnot

BBC Merlin: HOW ABOUT HIS SAFETY? MAGIC BEASTS?? TREASONOUS ASSASINS?

Starz Merlin (bewildered): He's a grown ass man and can handle himself. Do I look like a damn babysitter? Hell no. I got sht to do. I already got him a library and loyal knights. If he's my king then he better act like it. If he cant keep himself alive then what's the point of putting him there on the throne.

Starz Merlin: wait why are your questions like that? Are you implying that you are with your Arthur 24/7?

BBC Merlin: He won't survive without me if I let him out of my sight. There are always threats to his life,

Starz Merlin: and how old is he?

BBC Merlin: 25

Starz Merlin: (stands up) waste of time talking to you when you cant even do your job right.

BBC Merlin: but...

Starz Merlin: I invite you to dinner with the ladies tho. they'll be thrilled to see you

BBC Merlin: no they wont

Starz Merlin: relax, i'll be there.

.....

Starz Merlin suddenly wakes up in his bed and sees Morgause, Morgan and Morgana at the foot of his bed.

Starz Merlin: hello ladies.

Morgan: now that is how you chain him up! Neat isn't it?

Morgause: in bed?

Morgan: yes my dear.. and then you can take as many body parts of him as you want! like nail clippings!

Morgause: For?

Morgan: for future purposes (winks)

Morgana: (takes notes)

Morgana: hey Morgan, i think it'd be more entertining if he's wet.

Morgan: I like the way you think.

Mordred: so nice of you to let them practice on you

Merlin: (sighs) look no matter how much i warn them about the consquences they wont listen. At least this prison is comfy. They'll be in pain from using sorcery in about 2 hours anyway.

.......

FAMILY DINNER

Starz Merlin: I HAVE BROUGHT A GUEST! (drags BBC Merlin by the arm inside)

BBC Merlin, seeing Morgana: HISSSSSSS

Morgana, seeing Merliin: HISSSSSSSS

Morgause: she's always like that when it comes to that servant boy

Morgan, sauntering up to the Merlins: ISN'T HE ADORABLE (pinches bbc merlin's cheekbones) THESE ARE SO SHARP THEY'RE GONNA CUT ME

Starz Merlin: Don't scare the boy.

BBC Merlin: I'm not a boy, I'M LIKE 22

Morgan and Morgause: That's so deceptively cute.

During dinner BBC Merlin and Morgana are made to sit from across each other.

Merlin and Morgana: grrrrrr grrrr

Morgan: what's with those two?

Morgause: He poisoned her.

Starz Merlin: ...why would he do that?

BBC Merlin, not taking his eyes off morgana: I DIDNT WANT TO.

Morgana: YOU STILL DID grrrgrrrrr

Morgan: oH MY

Mordred (hisses at bbc merlin too): HOW DARE HE

Starz Merlin: (smacks mordred in the head): shut up all of you and eat.

Morgan: I'm bored. Don't you wish we had naked ladies for entertainment?

Starz Merlin (warningly): DON'T

Morgan (smirking): Morgana you must strip

Morgause: (cackling)

BBC Morgana and BBC Merlin: HELL NO!

Mordred: ooh they're in synch

...in the end nbd died at least XD

btw starz merlin and morgana peel and eat apples together all the time <3

[garoujo]

i’m doing good, i’m having some boy troubles but that honestly shouldn’t be a problem at all wow you really feel like my big sis now

anyway!! they are one of my favourite cosplayers <3 if not my favourite

i’m so weak for stealing someone’s hoodies, especially if they’re oversized on me!! so whatever you do, don’t imagine snuggling deeper into the pillowy fabric while chilling in nagi’s room, the light dimmed as the comforting mixture of his cologne and body wash envelops you, nagi’s arm draped over your waist quietly pulling you to lay further on his chest >///<

grrrrrr boys are soooo stinky !!! i hope they’re not giving u 2 much issues tho bbie ! i will beat them up ᙏ̤̫︎︎ eeeee their nagi is SO GOOD !!! so u are an angel 4 sending me this !!! ME 2 ! i’m such a hoodie thief i cant help it . but i feel like nagi’s wud be so soft & comfy omigooosh im gonna die n lose my mind (>̯-̮<̯) THE WAY IT WUD SMELL OF HIM !!! omigosh ur so right @_@ UR SO RIGHT ! im gonna die thinking bout this now < 3 HIS ARM AROUND OUR WAIST !!! i’m dying . this is the end !!!

[silentparalysis]

I don't mean to be weird but ya'll mind if I post some bluugborg art 👀👀👀

[jeongwife]

whats up bestie its been a minute but in honor of chans bday i wanna talk about some of my favorite headcanons for him so... for one thing i think he loves to give kisses on the temple, he would adore if his partner was the exact right height for him to always be able to wrap an arm around their shoulder and kiss their temple at any given time as just a quick 'i love you'. i think hes a BIG cuddler and as much as he likes to be dominant and overall wants someone that he can care for, theres nothing he loves more than coming home and just being able to lay right on top of his love with his head on their chest and their hand in his hair....... also you cant tell me that he doesnt love hand holding during sex.. like i imagine him going down on you and you wrap your hand around his hand that he has on your chest and he almost loses it then and there. hes also definitely the type of guy to send a million texts during the day... little ones like 'hey i saw an ad for that show you like and i thought of you' and 'hey we're getting coffee right now and theyre playing that song you like over the speakers!!" <333 and bonus i just have this gut feeling that his thighs are really sensitive... like if you even so much as rest your hand gently anywhere on his thigh he will be fighting off a hard on for the rest of the night and especially if you rub your thumb against his skin?? he's dragging you to the nearest private room and taking care of you immediately.. anyways i hope ur good!!! - boba anon (who's writing this from their laptop and doesnt have access to emojis currently) <3

BOBA ANON BESTIE I MISSED U 🥺🥺💗💗💗 we’re doing well and i hope you are too ALSO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEEE WITH THIS ASK OF YOURS (affectionate) HUH DO YOU WANT ME TO NEVER RECOVER FROM CHANROT HUHHH IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT >:( i agree so much with every point you’ve made here that i don’t even think i can add to it but bc i’m the biggest whore for him i will still add my liddol rambles <3

GOD YOU’RE SO RIGHT CHAN’S JUST SUCH A GIVING PERSON :(( he loves giving you tons of kisses during the day: forehead kisses, temple kisses, cheek kisses, hand kisses etc etc. </3 and if you’re sitting together with his arm over the back of your chair/around your shoulders he’d turn his head every now and then to press a lil kiss to your temple just to remind you he’s there before going back to whatever he’s doing 🧍🏻‍♀️💔 he’s so affectionate too :( every little thing that reminds him of you makes him smile sm and you just know he’s immediately whipping his phone out to text you because he’s always thinking ab you 😔 he loves cuddling you because of the intimacy, laying his head on your tummy with his arms wrapped around your waist as the two of you talk about your day, and if he’s had a bad day he’d 100% want you to hold him close to you and play with his hair :( and GRRRRRR hand holding with chan during sex i’m🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ he’d totally do that during both soft and hard sex… soft sex because it’s such a romantic, soft gesture, and hard sex because even when he’s pounding you into next week he still wants you to know he’s there and that he’s got you </3 AND GRRRRRRR imagine sucking hickies on his inner thighs as you suck him off… he’d be so whiny and would be grabbing onto your hair trying to pull your mouth back onto his cock HEHDVHWBSHA IM CRYING I WANT HIM — lily </3

[imagine-loki]

Loki's Daughter

TITLE: Loki’s Daughter CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 13: The Grimoire of Curses AUTHOR: traveling_classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around. RATING: T

AO3 Link: Here NOTES/WARNINGS: None for this chapter. Enjoy!

————————————————————-

Loki had scoured over his new collection of books on curses. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with each discourse he picked up; more frustrated and more discouraged. Kuna, on the other hand, enjoyed her new freedoms. The freedom to explore where she wanted, eat when she wanted, sleep when she wanted.

She could even play, something she had always really wanted to do but was always forbidden from doing. The strangest part of all: she didn’t have to work. Ever. In fact, Loki actively stopped her from cleaning, tidying, cooking, or any other attempts at non-child-like behavior, and promptly pushed her outside to play.

Loki had even begun to teach her how to read and write. He had spread out a large piece of paper in front of her and taught her how to hold a quill and dip it in ink and write out the Asgardian futhark. She had never been so excited in her whole life. She memorized the whole futhark in just a few minutes. She learned how to write hers and Loki’s names and the names of her toys. Loki was a good teacher. Kuna was convinced he knew everything there was to know.

Now, she was able to write whole sentences and read short stories in their storybooks. Loki even made up stories for her to read which were her favorite.

One day, Loki sat in their hammock grumbling at another book, while Kuna swatted at an imaginary beast with a stick. She had learned to be quiet when Loki was reading because he wanted to concentrate on his books, so she kept her stories about slaying imaginary beasts inside her head.

“Arrgh, I’ve had enough of this!” Loki slammed the book closed.

Kuna jumped, dropping her stick. Her shoulders drooped and her head hung low. She looked up cautiously, afraid she had caused his angry outburst.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t yell like that. What do you want to do today, Kuna?” he asked.

“Me?” she asked, shyly.

“Yes, you,” he said. “I can’t take any more of these bloody books today. So, what do you want to do?”

Kuna had never been asked this question before, so it required much thought. She walked over to the hammock and crawled into it beside Loki. She tapped her finger against her lips in thought.

“Mmm. Will you teach me how to fight monsters?” she asked finally.

“How to fight monsters,” Loki repeated.

Kuna nodded, excitedly.

“That’s very specific.”

Kuna continued nodding.

“All right, come on!” Loki jumped out of the hammock. It flipped over, depositing Kuna on the ground. She hopped up, undisturbed, and ran for their satchel with the silver dagger.

Loki snatched it up. “Nope!” He stopped her at arm’s length with a hand on her head.

She giggled, trying to reach for the satchel.

“You’re going to learn with this.” He gave her the wooden dagger he had bought for her on Tenanci’i.

“Aww,” Kuna pouted.

 “Stand up straight!” Loki commanded.

Kuna stood as tall as she could. Loki adjusted her feet until she stood about shoulder width. He positioned her left hand on the hilt of the dagger.

“When your other hand, your off hand, is empty, it’s going to balance you,” he said. “Don’t let it fall to your side like a dead fish.” Kuna chuckled at this. “Keep it up and always moving. You can use it to punch with, like this,” -he showed her a quick jab- “or to block.”

Kuna copied his movements. He began to call out actions for her to do, holding the dagger in a downward position in her left hand. When she was able to do this on command, Loki began teaching her movements with the dagger.

“It’s not all about stabbing, even though that’s pretty fun,” Loki said.

Kuna giggled, pretending to stab him.

He laughed and gently took her wrist, positioning the dagger in different ways. “You can slice and cut, forward and back, up and down, hack, and even stab with a dagger,” he explained, moving Kuna’s hand with each word. “They’re very multifunctional weapons. You can even throw it if you’re in a pinch.”

“But then I wouldn’t have a dagger anymore.”

“Very clever,” Loki said. “It should never be your first move if this is your only weapon. And there are better weapons for throwing anyways. Only throw this if it’s your last resort and you know you’ve got a clean shot. Otherwise, you’ll be in trouble.”

“Hmm.” Kuna weighed the wooden dagger in her hand. She turned it over and made a swipe at the air.

“Good,” Loki said. “Now, faster. Put more power behind it.”

She made the same movement again, swinging harder. “Don’t lose control,” Loki instructed. He readjusted her stance, and she struck the air again. “Better.”

They continued with different moves and attacks until Kuna was out of breath.

“Take a break,” Loki said, giving her one of their canteens. He smiled at her. “You learn quickly. I don’t even think I picked up a weapon this fast.”

Kuna could barely contain her happiness. She took the canteen and drank. The cold water felt good. She laid back in the grass under the trees.

“Do you think I could fight as good as you someday?” Kuna asked.

“Let’s find out,” Loki said. “Come and get me.”

A wooden knife, like a giant splinter, dug into the ground to the right of Kuna’s head. She gasped and rolled to the side, grabbing her own dagger. She came up on one knee and looked for Loki.

“That was impressive,” he said. Kuna ran towards his voice. He rose up out of a bush. She jumped up and slashed at him, but he disappeared.

“Hey!” she cried as she crashed through the bush. “You can’t use magic!”

“Why not?” his voice came from behind her.

“That’s cheating!”

“There’s no cheating in a fight, little raven,” he said, laughing as she bounded through another illusion. “You have to use what you’ve got. And I have magic.”

Kuna fell through another Loki. She stood and looked around. Something hard hit her in the back of the head.

“Ouch!” She looked down at an acorn rolling at her foot and frowned.

“And I have acorns,” Loki taunted. “What have you got?”

Kuna looked at her dagger. It wasn’t really helping her if all the Lokis were ghosts. Another acorn whistled towards her, this one from her right. She swung the dagger and blocked it with a satisfying thwack. A smile spread across her face.

“Don’t celebrate too long,” Loki chuckled from behind her. “Or you’ll be dead.”

She whipped around and dodged Loki’s arm as it came down to hit her. She stabbed at his leg, and he disappeared just as she had expected him too. With this Loki gone, she ran to the bushes to her left and pounced into them. She came down on an empty patch of dirt and twigs.

“Too slow!” Loki sang.

Kuna growled. She ran to the nearest tree and climbed up into the branches.

“Now, we’re using our brain. I was beginning to think you forgot it was there,” Loki taunted her.

She followed the sound of his voice and jumped through the trees towards it. An acorn smacked the back of her head. She turned to find the Loki that threw it and saw two Lokis, one in the tree and the other on the ground.

“Now, concentrate,” they both said. “Which one is me?”

Jumping towards the one in the tree, she made a quick jab at him, which he easily avoided. He gave her a good shove, sending her forward off the branch. She stretched out her arm and grabbed a lower branch, swinging to the ground. She felt a thump on the ground behind her and turned, slashing wildly with her dagger at the Loki that had dropped from the tree, but he disappeared.

Another appeared behind her, then another and another until there was a circle of Lokis surrounding her. She turned in a circle, trying to figure out which one was the real one. They each smiled at her devilishly.

Then a blue glow began to radiate from one of the Lokis to her left. A soft, lilting melody drifted on the air. She turned and leapt onto the glowing Loki, slashing at him. She crawled up his body and onto his back like a monkey.

“Ahh!” he screamed. The other Lokis vanished. She had caught the real one.

She raised her hand to stab him, but he caught her wrist and pulled her off his back.

“Aww,” she whined.

“So close, little one. Very impressive but I’ve been doing this a lot longer than yo-AHHH! DID YOU JUST BITE ME?!” He let go and she dropped onto her feet, giggling. She skipped up to him and stabbed him in the tummy with her dagger.

“Stab! I win!”

“Agh! I’m dead!” Loki yelled. He fell backwards dramatically. “Blah!” He stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes and made his body go limp.

Kuna walked over and put a foot up on his chest, raising her dagger to the sky. “I’ve defeated the mighty Loki!”

“Surprise!” Loki grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down. She squealed.

“No fair! You can’t come back to life!”

“Oh, but that’s sort of my thing, love,” he said. “I can’t believe you bit me. Come here! Let me see those teeth!”

“Grrrrrr!” She growled at him, baring her teeth.

“Do you have fangs?!”

“Raaawr!” She opened her mouth wide enough for Loki to see a row of sharp teeth, like a big cat’s, running back into her mouth.

“You have got fangs!” Rolling up his sleeve, he examined his wound. “Do you have venom in those? Am I going to turn into a Kuna, now? How have I never seen those chompers you’ve got in there?”

Kuna smiled big. Only one set of her sharp fangs was visible in her smile, the rest were hidden. She growled at him again and snapped her teeth, not able to control her giggles.

“Yeah, all right. You’re very ferocious,” he said. “But no more biting! Not me at least. Bite anyone else.”

“But you said I should use what I’ve got.”

“I did say that.”

“So, I could bite in a fight?”

“Yes, it’s rather effective actually,” Loki said, rubbing his arm. He picked up the canteen that was laying on the ground and took a drink. “How did you know which Loki was me?”

“The tesseract told me,” Kuna said, flipping her dagger in the air.

Loki spit out his water. “The what?!”

“The tesseract! I concentrated on trying to find you like you said, and the tesseract told me which one you were.”

“How did it do that?” Loki asked, a serious tone in his voice.

“Y…You were glowing, and I could hear the tesseract singing so I… I knew it was you.”

Loki sat in silence for a moment, thinking. Kuna pulled her legs up to her chest.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked.

“No, you didn’t,” Loki said.

“Are you mad?”

“No. You did exactly what I would have done. I’m just concerned with how the tesseract is affecting you.”

“Why?”

“It affects people differently. Sometimes in strange ways. I’ve not known it to ‘sing’ to anyone before.”

“I like the way it sings.”

“What does it sound like?”

“Like, um, hmm…” Kuna wasn’t sure she could make the same sounds as the tesseract did. She tried to hum like it but the noise she made was not at all like the tesseract’s pretty sounds. “That’s not right. I can’t do it like the tesseract does.” She shrugged.

“Hmm. Well, I don’t hear anything.”

“Maybe your ears are clogged.”

“That’s probably it,” Loki said, chuckling.

She nodded and tried to flip the dagger in her hand again. The wooden blade smacked her hand and fell to the ground. She frowned at it. Loki picked it up.

“If that had been real, you would have lost fingers,” he said. “Watch carefully.” He flipped the dagger in the air and caught it effortlessly. “It’s all in the wrist.”

He smoothly turned the dagger over and offered the hilt to Kuna to try. She took it. She timed a toss of the dagger and it flipped gracefully, catching it by the handle this time. She smiled and looked up at Loki.

“Well done,” he said. “Just wait until you can do it with two at the same time.”

“Ooooh,” Kuna breathed.

Loki conjured two daggers and showed her a smooth double dagger flip. The glint of the daggers shown over Kuna’s face. She was overjoyed. She could not wait to start training with two daggers. She wanted to be just like Loki.

“I wanna try!” she said.

“I don’t think you’re ready for these yet,” Loki responded. “Weapons like these need to be treated with respect. They’re sharp and they’ll easily cut off those fingers of yours or more if you’re not careful.”

Kuna frowned.

“You’ll get there, little raven,” Loki said, tussling her hair. “Come on, let’s go inside and get something to eat.”

At the thought of food, Kuna happily bounded past Loki and jumped through the door. Loki had finally figured out a way to keep the door open, so he did not have to awkwardly squish through the awful honey-like material. Kuna bounced around the tent, gracefully avoiding the stacks of books Loki had left everywhere. She parried and jabbed with her dagger at invisible enemies.

Loki made her a sandwich from their supplies as she played. He frowned at the basket that kept their food. It was getting dangerously close to being empty. They would need to teleport somewhere to get more supplies soon, but there was enough for them to eat for the rest of the day.

He handed Kuna the sandwich as she hopped by. She barely stopped as she began stuffing bites of it into her mouth.

“No, no. Come, settle down,” Loki scolded. “You’ll upset your stomach, jumping around and eating like that.”

“Hmm,” Kuna mumbled and plopped down across from Loki. She held her sandwich in two hands and took big bites.

Loki frowned at her. “Do you even taste your food?”

“Mmm-hmm!” she nodded, cheeks bulging with sandwich. “It tastes so good!”

“Fair enough,” he said, taking a dainty bite of his own sandwich. He picked up a book and opened it setting it on one leg while he ate.

Kuna watched him. She sat up straighter and crossed her legs. She remade her sandwich, which had fallen apart in her eagerness to eat. Sitting up tall, like Loki, she took a small bite of her sandwich and chewed slowly. Loki turned a page and took another bite of his sandwich and Kuna did the same.

Loki caught on quickly to this game of pantomime. Without looking up from his book, he raised his sandwich to his mouth, Kuna following his movements. Before taking a bite, he lowered his hand and turned another page. He could see Kuna frown at being denied a bite but lowering her sandwich into her lap as well.

He lifted the sandwich again to his mouth and then looked across at Kuna. She stopped cold as if caught doing something bad. Loki lowered the sandwich, keeping eye contact. Kuna copied him. He quickly jolted the sandwich back up towards his mouth and Kuna did the same. His eyes narrowed. Then he smiled.

In a quick movement, he tossed the sandwich over his shoulder. Kuna gasped. Loki raised his eyebrows at her, daring her to copy him. She shook her head and shoved the rest of the sandwich in her mouth. He rolled his eyes and laughed.

“I don’t waste food,” Kuna said, mouth full.

“That’s very good,” he replied, revealing his own sandwich that he had hidden in a quick invisibility spell. “Neither do I.”

Kuna’s mouth fell open, chewed food showing on her tongue.

“Eww, gross, Kuna! Swallow that!” Loki laughed.

Kuna giggled and swallowed her food.

“Speaking of, we’re starting to run low on food,” Loki said, his tone changing.

Kuna glanced around nervously.

“It’s fine,” Loki consoled her, seeing her anxiety. “I mean to say, we’ll need to go shopping for more. I’m not going to let you go hungry.”

This comforted Kuna. “Where will we go?”

“I’m not sure yet. But I think we’ll need to pack up camp and move entirely. I don’t want to stay here for much longer.”

“Oh, but I like it here.”

“It is very peaceful here, isn’t it?”

Kuna nodded.

“But I think we’d get bored if we stayed here forever.”

Kuna cocked her head to one side, confused.

“Well, it’s nice, sure. But there’s no one else here but us. No creatures, no people. No excitement. I think we’d get bored.”

“Hmm.” Kuna thought about this. The excitement she had had with Loki regarding creatures and people so far had been mostly scary and life-threatening. “No, I like it here. I wouldn’t get bored.”

“I bet you would.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“You mean to tell me you don’t want to see all the beautiful planets out there in the universe? All the systems and stars and galaxies?”

Kuna thought even harder. All the beautiful things the tesseract had shown her had captivated her mind and visited her dreams for nights. She wanted to see them all.

“Is it safe?”

“Oh, absolutely not,” Loki said. Kuna paled. “But you have me with you and I’ll keep you safe.”

She relaxed a little.

“And now that you’re learning to fight, you can defend yourself, too.”

Kuna nodded, thinking about their lesson and her dagger.

“So, what do you think?”

“I guess so. As long as we’re together.”

“Always,” Loki said, smiling at her.

They spent the rest of the day relaxing. Loki attending to his research and Kuna studying her letters. As the day wound down, Kuna had her supper and fell asleep on her bedroll, cuddling her toys. Loki, surrounded by stacks of books, lit a small, dim orb of light with his magic so he could continue reading without disturbing Kuna.

He looked across the several stacks of books around him. He had taken hundreds. When they were in Odin’s study, he had seen how difficult it was for Kuna to catch all the books he was tossing to her in his raven form, so he had begun storing them himself, whisking away entire shelves of books into his pocket universe in some cases. As long as they were in the sections about curses, he could figure out if they were of use later.

Loki reached for a new book but bumped another stack with his elbow. It fell over, scattering across the floor. He grit his teeth at the sound and peeked at Kuna. She turned over and squeezed her dragon. Loki let out a sigh of relief and then groaned at the mess on the floor. He started to pick up a few books, when a large black volume caught his eye. It was quite old, embossed with ancient Asgardian runes that had been rubbed nearly clean of their golden sheen. However, what caught his eye was not the antiquated runes of a long dead language but deep cuts in the leather of the cover in the modern Asgardian runes.

BEWARE

DO NOT OPEN

EVIL RESIDES

“Well, that’s a little dramatic,” Loki said.

He picked up the ancient tome and sat back slowly onto the floor, crossing his legs. As he held it, he could feel a dark resonance emanating through his aura. He looked closely at the book and found it was not black leather at all, but that the book had been heavily burned. The ends of the pages too had been blackened in the flames. At some point, someone had tried to remove some of the charring on the cover, but the book would have been a total loss by any library’s standards.

“Seems like someone tried to burn you,” Loki muttered. He turned the book back over to the eerie message carved into the front. “And you clearly resisted.”

The graffitist had tried to destroy the embossed title of the book, but the restorer had succeeded in revealing what was left of the title.

G—M—IRE –F C—ES by ——————- ———————–

“A “Grimoire of Curses”, you say? You sound perfect. I’m gonna open it,” he said, deviously. He could almost hear his father admonishing him for not heeding the rather specific warning on the cover. “I don’t negotiate with book defacers. Or book burners.”

He gently opened the cover, and the title page confirmed his guesswork.

GRIMOIRE OF CURSES

BY

THE QUEEN OF DEATH

“’The Queen of Death’,” Loki read. “How delightful.”

He chuckled at the author’s absurd name and then flipped to the next page.

It felt suddenly as if a lump had caught in his throat. He swallowed hard. The more Loki read, the heavier his chest began to feel. The resonance he had felt in his magic before began to grow. The air felt thick with each breath he took. It felt as if a whirlpool had started in the page break and was slowly sucking him in. He shook his head and blinked, steeling himself, strengthening his aura against this onslaught.

The book was clearly cursed itself and he was certain for any novice sorcerer it would be impossible not to be corrupted by it. But he was no novice. He let out an exasperated breath.

 “You won’t hide your secrets from me.”

The book seemed to react to his determination. He felt a pain in his head like he had been hit with an axe. He felt cold. He’d never felt cold. He shook his head and glanced up at Kuna.

“I’m doing this for her,” he said under his breath. He felt the thickness subside and turned to the next page.

He searched the book for Kuna’s curse, his shaky finger tracing down the lengthy column of curses in the table of contents.

“Curse of agony, blah, blah, curses of fear, of frenzy, da, da, da, of lies, of leaping, oh my, of melting flesh? No, no, no, Loki, we’re here for a reason,” he stopped himself, pulling his eyes away from the page and taking a deep breath before looking back again. “Da, da, da, of poison, oh, of possession. Stop! ‘T’ where are the ‘T’s””

He stopped abruptly on an entry:

CURSE OF TIED TONGUE

As he turned to the pages and began to read through the ritual for cursing an individual with a tied tongue, the blood began to drain from his face. He clenched his jaw so tight his teeth began to hurt. The heaviness he had pushed out began to creep back over him. His ears began to ring. With each step he read to this vicious ritual, a pit in his stomach grew.

“Restrain the victim, if possible, for they will struggle incessantly to escape. Some form of hypnosis or mind control will also suffice. For ease of the caster’s concentration, keep also the victim’s mouth gagged for the duration of the ritual, except for final steps.”

Loki tried unsuccessfully to block out the image of a restrained and frightened Kuna from his mind. He grunted in frustration and forced himself to focus.

“Force the victim into a state of agony - by any means of the caster’s choosing - whilst chanting the following incantation which bars them from speaking of the caster’s chosen subject.”

Through the din of ringing that had begun in his ears, Loki thought he heard Kuna scream. His breath caught in his throat as he sat up hard against the wall. There was absolute silence in the tent, save for Loki’s ragged breathing. He looked at Kuna, fast asleep on her bedroll.

“Kuna?” he whispered.

“Mmmm,” Kuna hummed softly in her sleep, undisturbed.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked down at the book. He felt exhausted. Slowly, he opened the book again to the page he had been reading.

“When the ritual is complete, the victim can be released. They will no longer be able to speak of subject of the caster’s choosing. Instead, the action will be replaced by the agony the caster forced upon them. Persistent attempts by the victim to speak of the subject can result in eventual amnesia in its regard. Examples of successful states of agony include pain of the body (specific or generalised), inability to breathe, inability to speak, inability to form coherent speech, etc, etc.”

Additional agonies had been scratched in the margins in different hands and inks.

“Sudden onset of singing, dancing, sleeping.

Frenzy.

Fear.

Death.

Melting flesh.

Combine ‘agonies’ to increase power of curse.”

“Gods,” Loki cringed.

He scanned further down the page, looking for how to reverse the curse. Not seeing it, he turned the page.

“UNTYING THE TONGUE”

“Gross,” Loki muttered. He ran his finger down the page, reading the instructions.

“This doesn’t seem so bad,” he said. “Actually, seems rather easy. We could do this tomorrow. Or now.”

He noticed a smudge at the end of the page and leaned closer to see. The dim light he had conjured was not the best for night reading. The little orb of light bobbed around the ceiling of the tent, occasionally flickering.

“Come over here, you stupid orb!” Loki whispered aggressively at the floating sphere. “You’re supposed to be over here! By me!”

The light tottered over, bumping into the wall as it drifted towards him.

“Useless thing,” Loki grumbled as the light settled over his head.

He leaned in close to see the smudge was actually an indication of a footnote.

“Ugh, of course, there’s always a bloody footnote.” He rolled his eyes and searched for the footnotes. The more digging he did in the book, the heavier the feeling in his aura became, and the more agitated he felt. Finally, he found them, buried in the back of the book.

“Here we go,

Only the casting sorcerer can lift a tied tongue curse. Death of the caster does not release the          victim from the curse.”

Loki looked up, staring blankly across the room. He sat up and slowly closed the book. He stood and walked outside the tent into the crisp night air. His fist was clenched tight, his teeth near to cracking under the pressure of his jaw. He looked down at the book in his hand. His whole body now shaking with anger.

He threw the book as hard as he could, letting out a shout as he did. The book sailed kilometers into the darkened horizon. Loki growled and hissed. He felt the sting of tesseract energy as a portal opened beside him and the book sailed through it and smacked him in the face.

“Arrrrgh,” Loki growled. He glanced back at the tent, and Kuna still asleep inside. He swung the book around in frustration. Opening another portal to a random place, he stuck his head through and screamed with all his might.

He felt no remorse for the humans on the other side of the portal, whose dinner he appeared to have abruptly and loudly interrupted. When he had finished, his energy felt clean again, free from the book’s dark grip. His mind felt lighter, though he was still racked with rage over the conditionality of these curses.

He returned to the tent. Kuna had not moved. Loki stood over her for a moment, watching. How could someone do something so horrible to someone so small? What threat could she possibly pose to anyone to justify such drastic measures?

He shook his head. It didn’t matter now. What was done was done and he was going to undo it. He stretched and popped his back. Laying down on his bedroll next to Kuna, he watched her chest rise and fall with her gentle breathing. He pushed a lock of hair off her face and pulled the blanket up to her chin. With a flick of his hand, the dim light he had been using to read by went out and he fell asleep.

***

Kuna’s eyes opened slowly. She felt a weight on her side that had not been there when she fell asleep the night before. She looked down and saw Loki’s arm draped over her. She smiled. Very, very slowly, she turned over onto her other side to face him. She put her head on his chest and snuggled close. He didn’t push her away this time. He was still asleep.

She drifted in and out of sleep for a bit, savoring cuddle time with Loki. Light began to shine in through the windows of the tent. Kuna wondered how long Loki would sleep in. She was normally up before sunrise.

Her stomach growled. She grimaced and looked up at Loki, watching him. Carefully, she wiggled out from under his arm, replacing her toys under his arm where she had been. He snored softly but did not wake.

She stretched and yawned, then flinched at the sight of the room. There were books scattered everywhere. Loki had clearly been up reading last night. Kuna got up and started picking up books and stacking them in neat piles. She lined the walls with them, so they were out of the way. Each stack was perfectly level, spines facing out.

Finished with this task, she looked around for something else to do. Her eyes landed on a rogue book. A big, black book with scratches on the cover. She walked timidly over to it and knelt down to pick it up. Her hand hovered over the book, suspended in the air like it was repelled by a magnet. She shook her head and stood up. Something felt wrong about that book. It felt magicky. Stepping just outside the tent door, she picked up a stick and returned to the book and pushed it with the end of the stick over to the wall.

She looked over at Loki, cuddling with her toys on the floor. She had grown impatient with Loki’s excessive sleeping and so had her tummy. She laid down and crawled close to him.

“Loki?” she whispered. He did not stir. “Loki,” she said again, a little louder this time. Still there was no response. She apprehensively raised a finger and poked his arm. He snored on. Kuna frowned.

“Loki?” she asked again, a little louder. He turned onto his back, taking her toys with him. Kuna jumped and dove under her blanket. She peeked out from under to see if he was angry, but he was still asleep. Crawling closer once more, she poked him in different places, his arm, his leg, his chest, even his face, but he did not wake. She lifted her finger again and moved slowly towards his hair.

“Don’t you dare,” he said, a smile creeping across his face.

Kuna erupted in giggles. Loki sat up. He held out the stuffed animals in his hand and looked at them, confused and laughed, then grabbed Kuna putting her in his lap. She squealed with joy.

“Loki! Loki! Loki!” he mimicked, over and over, poking her chest and sides and neck. Kuna could not contain herself, she was giggling, trying to poke him back. He set her down and shook his head, laughing.

“What? What is it, child?” he asked, still laughing.

“I’m hungry,” she said, sheepishly.

“Are you?”

Kuna nodded.

“Well, we’re going to have to fix that, aren’t we?”

She nodded some more. “Yes, please.”

“Let me see here,” Loki said, as he searched the basket for some breakfast for Kuna. He pulled up only a small bit of bread. “Oh, is that it? I think it’s time for us to go shopping again.”

“Did you eat dinner last night?” Kuna asked him.

“Hmm? Oh, no, I was reading for a long time and the book was very frustrating and–” Kuna pushed Loki’s hand with the piece of bread back towards him. “And… I must have forgot. Kuna, you’re going to eat this. Don’t worry about me. We’ll go shopping today and get more. I’m fine.”

“You have to eat too,” she said.

He gave her the bread. “I’m fine. Eat this for now.”

“You eat.”

“No, you eat.”

Kuna stood and shook her head. “No, you.”

“Kuna–”

“You! Ah!” She pointed at Loki and then opened her mouth and pointed inside.

“You’re becoming very stubborn,” he said. “Who knows where you could have gotten that from.” He took a small bite out of the bread to pacify the defiant child. “Oh, you cleaned. You didn’t have to do that,” he acknowledged the tidied tent.

Kuna shrugged. “I don’t mind. But I think there’s something wrong with that book over there.”

“Which one? The black one?”

She nodded.

Loki gulped, choking a bit on the dry bread. “You didn’t open that one, did you?”

“I didn’t, I swear!” Kuna said, dropping to her knees and putting her hands over her head. “I promise! I didn’t open it. I promise!”

Loki sighed. “No – it’s all right—I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I—I just—oh, please don’t cry.”

“I promise I didn’t look at them without your permission!”

“It’s all right. I believe you. Please, don’t cry.” Loki reached forward and put his hand on Kuna’s shoulder. “I’m not upset with you, I promise.”

She looked up at him and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Scooting closer, she reached out to him, and he picked her up, setting her in his lap.

“Is that book bad? Will it make me blind?” She sniffled.

“No, no, no. It won’t blind you, darling, but it’s not a very nice book. I think it’s been cursed.”

Kuna shrank in his lap, staring at the book. “Did you open it?”

“Yes. But I’m a very powerful sorcerer so I know what to do with books like that.”

“Throw them away?”

“No!” Loki chuckled. “You don’t want to throw a book away! What if there are incredible secrets in there?”

“They should stay that way,” Kuna whispered.

“Oh, where’s your sense of adventure, Kuna? That book,” -he pointed at it- “gave me the answers to what we were looking for.”

“It did?”

“Yes. Well, sort of.”

“What did it say?”

Loki had fallen into a trap. “Um, well.” He feared unintentionally setting off Kuna’s curse by telling her about it. “It gave me instructions on how to help you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, that’s why we took all these books.” Loki was surprised by her lack of memory regarding the reasons they had gone to Asgard.

“How can a book help me? You’ve already helped me so much. You freed me and you gave me food and clothes and toys and–”

“Yes, but… well.” He ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. Kuna looked up at him inquisitively. “That book is a book about curses. All the different kinds of curses and how to perform them. That’s why I didn’t want you to read it.”

“A cursed book of curses?”

“Precisely.”

“That sounds scary,” she whispered, wrapping herself in Loki’s cape. “How is that going to help me?”

Loki hesitated. “Well, Kuna, I think someone on your home planet may have cursed you.”

Kuna’s face went blank, expressionless. She turned grey. She shook her head, first a little then frantically, side to side.

“Now, now, everything’s all right,” Loki consoled her, gently rocking her.

“No. No!” she whispered. “I’m not cursed! It’s not true!”

“Shhhh,” Loki whispered, rocking her. “I’m going to fix it.” He gently stroked her hair and hugged her, holding her tight.

“I don’t have any magic, sir!”

Loki closed his eyes. He had triggered her curse. With time, she calmed down, clutching a handful of his hair. She sniffled and occasionally let out a sob.

“Look at me, darling. Do you remember who did this to you?”

“No,” she whispered.

“You told me once someone hurt you with magic,” Loki said. “Who was that?”

Kuna shifted uncomfortably, rubbing her arms. “Sometimes when I was bad, my masters would use their magic to punish me. It hurt a lot.”

“Mmm,” Loki nodded, hugging her again. “I’m sorry, darling. They were horrible people. I doubt were ever truly ‘bad’.”

Kuna stared at the ground.

“I’m guessing these Masters don’t let slaves use magic,” Loki said.

“Oh no!” Kuna exclaimed. “For a slave to have magic is the worst sin imaginable! If a slave has magic,” -she shuddered with fear- “all the masters slaves must be culled, and the slave’s family too.”

“My, that seems a bit much,” Loki said.

Kuna shook her head. “Slaves shouldn’t have magic. They would use it for evil things.”

“And who told you that?”

“The Masters,” they both said in unison. Loki nodded.

“Yes, I’m starting to understand,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “What sorts of evil things would a slave use magic for?”

“Slaves are weak, and magic makes weak people do bad things. Slaves would use magic to trick and steal and kill people.”

Loki put both hands on either side of Kuna’s head. “My child, you have been brainwashed.”

Kuna put her hands on Loki’s. “No one’s washed my brains!”

“No, it means that these Masters on your home-system have forced you to believe all these things that are not true so that they can continue doing whatever they want to you.”

She gasped. “With magic?”

“Mmm, no. Propaganda can be just as powerful as magic.”

“Propa-what-now?”

“Propaganda. I’ll explain later, what’s important is that they are very wrong about slaves and magic and you.”

Kuna looked down at the ground again. She did not know what to think. The Masters had never been wrong about anything. Ever. At least, not that she could remember.

“Kuna,” Loki said. She looked up at him. He wiped the tears off her cheek with his thumb. “I know this is a lot to take in. It isn’t easy learning that your life has been a lie, believe me. But I’m going to make things better for you. Do you trust me, darling?”

Kuna nodded and hugged him tight.

[light-of-valentia]

Black Eagles Boys + Sylvain Meeting and Greeting a Fan

hello anon!! sorry if this stinks, i had a draft going and tumblr, as usual, deleted it grrrrrr....anyways, i did my best to rework what i lost, and i hope this has as much charm as my original!! i will also use she/her pronouns and assume that the reader is female since you used she/her pronouns in your ask~

-admin belle

Headcanons for Ferdinand, Hubert, Caspar, Linhardt, and Sylvain reacting to a fan asking for a hug/hug headcanons!

Ferdinand von Aegir

When you ask him, he is absolutely ecstatic

He has a fan and they want attention from him???? He isn’t surprised at all, but is incredibly excited nonetheless

His eyes light up, but he quickly recomposes himself and greets you

“Oh! Why, hello madam! I am none other than the famous Ferdinand von Aegir, the oldest legitimate child of the prior Duke Aegir, and it is a pleasure to be your acquaintance.”

With this, he bows to you, folding one arm neatly over his chest, the other taking your palm in his as he places a soft kiss to the top of your hand

He immediately asks you if you have a spare moment to converse, and the subtly hopeful look he gives you makes you feel like “yes” is the only response

He talks with you before/during/after your hug, and he would talk to you all day if he could, but eventually someone pulls him aside and reminds him of something he has to attend to

Before you begin your conversation, though, he takes you in a full-body hug

But unless you’re done with hugs, he isn’t either

As you continue talking, he gives you a hug from behind, folding his hands over each other as they meet at your abdomen, his arms otherwise encircling you

If you’re too short for a normal hug or you just wish you could reach him better, he will offer to pick you up and hold you at his hip/waist, or hell, he isn’t too shy to hold you bridal-style!

His name is Ferdinand von Aegir, and treating women, commoner and noble alike, with the highest standard of respect and care is his game

He does not mind being seen being “personal” with you or any of his fans- he loves the attention, and he genuinely cares for his fans!

If you’re comfortable with it, he’s also game for cheek kisses!

Also, if he has an artist or anyone with a good drawing hand nearby, he will probably ask them to sketch out a few quick drawings of you guys hugging each other and kissing the other’s cheek

He requests that they do so in ink so that it can bleed through a sheet of paper and make two copies, one for each of you! If this is unable to happen, he gives the finished item to you for you to “remember him by”

When it’s time for you to separate, he asks you for your address and he gives you his so that you can be pen-pals!

Bonus: In his letters, he doesn’t really discuss himself or political affairs of any sort; rather, he talks briefly about how he feels that day, or he describes to you something that he saw earlier that was beautiful, comical, or noteworthy. Each letter is different from the last, and it’s easy to tell that he puts thought into each one! Sometimes, he encloses a few flower petals, a neat coin or small trinket, or some tea leaves

Hubert von Vestra

If he’s doing a meet-and-greet, it probably wasn’t his choice

Edelgard suggested that the two of them as well as a few other Black Eagles do one to “improve public relations and image”

When you approach him, he gives a weak smile, thinking to himself that “well, this was bound to happen, could I really expect to do this and never be approached?”

He quickly chases this out of his mind and greets you, giving a small bow; “Good day, miss. I am sure you are already aware of who I am, but might I ask you for your name?”

You tell him your name, and he shakes your hand, and this is about the extent of physical contact that you both have for a little while

It isn’t that Hubert is adverse to the idea of hugging someone; he’s just not very used to it, and it takes him a bit to warm up

You both chat for a little while, discussing a common interest you find you have or something more impersonal, and eventually something you say reminds him of something that happened with himself and Edelgard or Ferdinand when they were students back at the Academy

What this story is is up to you to decide! (A/n i know it’s cliche but I had too many ideas to narrow it down to one for this!)

After he opens up to you a bit more with that, you finally ask him for the hug, and he looks confused for a split second, but quickly goes “Ah, well why not.”

He gives you a hug from the side, and if you want something from the front, he either has to bend down or pick you up because he’s super tall and probably taller than you

When you go to depart and thank him, he gives you another short bow and gives you a smile, this one looking a bit more natural and relaxed than his previous ones

Caspar von Bergliez

When you first walk up to talk to him, his face is almost sparkling with awe

He knows that he’s a cool dude and he’s aware of how much he has done to get Fódlan where it is now, but a fan??? of HIM in specific???

that’s just beyond awesome to him

Before you even have to ask for a hug, he stretches his arms out and envelops you in a full-body hug, pulling back quickly once he realized that he forgot to ask first

“Oh, sorry! I got a little carried away there, heh... Well, hi! As you probably already know, I’m Caspar! What’s your name?”

You giggle a little bit at his sudden outburst of enthusiasm, caushing him to blush sheepishly before you tell him that you didn’t mind it

He gets over that little stumble he had there quickly and moves on to conversation with you

He asks you a LOT of questions

He’s never been approached by a fan before, nor had he ever really thought of it someday happening, and he already treasures you!!

You spend a while answering each other’s questions about the other and Caspar is beaming with enthusiasm the entire time

Note that he isn’t wearing his usual suit of armor, not that he was expecting an impromptu meet-and-greet, but because he just wants to look approachable to the public!

After a while of this enthusiastic conversation, you ask him  for another hug, and he gladly obliges

He hugs you a little bit tighter this time, knowing that you want it, and if you’re shorter than he is?? Not problem, he’ll just pick you up

If you’re ok with it, he’ll lift you up to sit on his shoulder(s), with your legs hugging his neck and sides

He absolutely cherishes this moment!! It gives him a less metaphorical feeling of being a protector of his people, and he loves watching you smile and laugh while you guys talk!

After he realizes how long he’s spent with you, he sets you down/lets you go, and tells you that he needs to go find Linhardt, since he promised him that he’d meet up with him

He does, though, offer to take you with him

“I don’t mind at all! I’m not in a rush, and I doubt Linhardt is either...though, he’s never really in a rush for anything except his bed.”

Linhardt von Hevring

You approach him and wave at him, and he gives you a confused look complete with a small head-tilt

He points at himself as if to ask you “Who, me?”

Once you nod to confirm that yes, it is him whose attention you are seeking, his expression softens to a small smile

He takes your hand and holds it up a bit, tilting his head toward the floor but still looking to your eyes

“Good day, milady. I am Linhardt von Hevring, crest scholar to-be. It is most wonderful to meet you, though I fail to see how I drew your interest among my...”flashier” colleagues.

 You have to explain to him that you’re a fan of his, and that you admire him and all that he did to contribute to the war and to bring Fódlan to where it is now

He’s a blushing mess by the end of it

Are his eyes...watering?

He gives you a light chuckle before adding, “For someone who never wished to be a part of that war to begin with, I guess I really did do something wonderful then...”

You give him a smile, and give him a small kiss to his cheek in an attempt to validate him

He feels so blessed

Like he’s only just met you but he just doesn’t understand what he did that was so great to deserve a FAN

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, miss, but I already appreciate you so much; thank you.”

When you ask him for a hug, he is happy to comply

He first gives you a long full-body hug, hugging you tightly but not enough to be uncomfortable

You feel his hands behind you gripping your shirt a little bit

He’s just way too happy and surprised

After you both pull back from that one, he leans in again and tilts his head a little bit, silently asking if another hug is ok, and you nod/giggle as a “yes”

This time, he slips his arms around your waist and hugs you pressing his face slightly into your neck, and you can sort of feel his breath along the hairs at the back of your neck

To complete this hug, you sling your arms around his neck, reciprocating where he placed his head

He smells like a mix of dewdrops on grass and lavender

Right before he pulls back, you feel him grumble and whisper into your ear/shoulder- “you’re cute”

As you’re pulling back from the hug, Caspar approaches the both of you

“Wow, Linhardt. You’re certainly in a better mood than usual.”

Linhardt lets his friend’s comment slide off of him as he rolls his eyes and reaches for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze

“Caspar and I were about to pay a visit to the marketplace- would you care to join us?”

Sylvain Jose Gautier

You don’t approach him. Actually, he approaches you.

You were going to approach him either way, so he’s just making the task easier on your end ;)

“Well,” he began to greet you, relaxing his arms behind his head and swaying his body a bit, “what have we here? Pardon me for intruding on such a breathtaking young woman as yourself, but my name is Sylvain. Pleasure to meet you.”

He takes your hand and presses a kiss on top of it, winking at you

You smile at this, and he gives you a flashy grin in return

His flirtatious attitude is secret to none, and you knew what you were getting into before you even waved hello

 You begin to explain that you were actually going to approach him before he beat you to it

He almost laughs at this, and places a hand on your shoulder/hip

“Why on earth would you ever need to approach someone for their attention? At least from how I’ve experienced things, you draw eyes from anyone who can see you.”

You both chat with each other a bit, you further explaining to him how you are a fan of his and that you admire him and his heroic deeds

He gives you an almost quizzical look, before laughing and shaking his hand a bit

“Well, call me flattered! To be honest, most women only ever approach me to try and get a date with me for my noble status, so thank you for your kind words milady! They mean a lot to me.”

You smile back at him, and ask him for a hug

In response, he throws his whole body a bit, acting shocked

“Woah there, frisky! No need to get hasty with things!”

He winks at you again

Your eyebrows raise in surprise before he dismisses his prior reaction as a joke, and asks you if it’s ok for him to hug you

He may be a flirt, but he’s a flirt with standards- even a hug with a girl in his eyes requires consent

After you approve, he picks you up and hugs you

It’s kind of a sloppy hug, but a great one at that

The way he hugs you is energetic and playful, and after he sets you down, you get up on your tip-toes and throw your arms around his neck for another hug, and he hugs you around the waist to reciprocate

Once you both release from the hug, Sylvain latches his arm in yours

“You know, now that that stupid war is over I have a lot more free time. Are you free this evening, at about...right now?”

Bonus: If you accept his offer for the date, he gives you a piggyback ride the entire way there, and if you’re ok with heights, he seats you on his shoulders while you talk on your way to wherever you want to go

bonus that nobody asked for: how likely each of them are to develop a (lasting) platonic or romantic relationship with you after these interactions

 on a scale of 1 being not likely to 5 being most likely

Ferdinand: 3/5

Hubert: 2/5

Caspar: 4/5

Linhardt: 5/5

Sylvain: 4/5

AAA thank you anon once again for this request!!! it was really fun to write, and you have lowkey turned me on to writing Linhardt...he is so much fun to write!!!

also sorry i’m bad at writing Hubert

~our askbox is still, as always, open to requests, prompts, and ideas- they don’t need to be like this one, either! we/i will write for the girls, too!~

[bootz-n-catz]

Purgatory’s Annual Dog Day Extravaganza

Title: Purgatory’s Annual Dog Day Extravaganza

Rating: T

Summary: Wynonna decides to take on her arch nemesis Bunny Loblaw by entering her "dog" into the same competition to take her down. Except her dog is actually Nicole in werewolf form.Basically this is a Wynaught Brotp fic with a little bit of Werewolf!Nicole.

Find it here or on AO3.

”Yap yap. Yap yap!”

Wynonna jerked up from the desk, groaning and rubbing at the back of her neck, aching from the awkward position she had been in during her nap. Sleep still heavy in her eyes, she blinked and got her bearings.

“Fuck.”

”Yap!”

The high piercing sound was only made more unbearable by the hangover currently creeping into the corners of her head, and she looked around the empty BBD offices for the source. It had to be a demon of some sort. Nothing from this Earth made that horrendous of a noise.

”Yap grrrrrr yap!”

Wynonna’s ears perked up, hand on Peacemaker at her hip as she slowly stood up from the desk. Her bones creaked a little but she ignored it as she scanned the office.

“Come out, little demon,” she cooed under her breath.

”Yap!”

The sound was behind her now and Wynonna paused, hand tightening on the grip of her gun as she spun, pulling it from the holster and aiming it in front of her at the offending creature. A small...thing stared back at her. Beady, watery eyes, brown and black silky looking fur with a ridiculously large bow on its head.

”Grrrrrr yap yap! Yap!”

Wynonna squinted at it, wary of it’s intentions. It didn’t look evil...but that’s how they got you. She cocked her head to the side and looked at it, jumping when it yapped again. Wynonna was sure that the sound it was making could shatter glass.

“Alright, what the fuck are you? Demon? Like the evil scary kind I can send back to hell or just...a demon?” she asked. The thing blinked up at her before baring its teeth. “So you are evil.”

The door to the BBD offices slammed open and both human and creature startled at the noise.

“Mark!”

Wynonna cringed. “Can people stop yelling?”

The creature yapped and ran towards the person who had burst through the doors. Wynonna groaned and rolled her eyes, Peacemaker falling to her side. Bunny Loblaw.

“Excuse me,” Bunny said as she scooped up the questionable creature, “Were you pointing a gun at my Mark?”

Wynonna scoffed and shrugged, putting Peacemaker back in her holster. “Standard police procedure, ma’am,” she said stiffly. “This dog - if that’s the story you’re going with - was verbally assaulting me. An officer of the law.”

Bunny’s face turned about twenty different shades of red and Wynonna basked in the glory of it all. Mark looked back at Wynonna from Bunny’s arms and started yapping again, voice somehow higher. Wynonna frowned at him.

“Have you considered getting him...training?” Wynonna asked.

Bunny scoffed. “Mark is a certified therapy and rescue dog. He is the most obedient dog in Purgatory.”

“Then why is he running around in the police station?” Wynonna asked with a raised eyebrow. “He’s literally taking his life into his own hands.”

“I was signing him up for the Purgatory Annual Dog Day Extravaganza next week,” Bunny said, nose a little higher in the air. “He wins every year.”

Wynonna couldn’t help the bark of a laugh that came from her mouth. Bunny shot her a look and Wynonna just forced a smile. “I mean...of course. Is it you and a bunch of twelve year old girls, or-?”

“For your information, Miss Earp, this is a very serious competition,” Bunny said, haughty tone practically leaking from her mouth. “It requires patience, discipline and intelligence. From both dog and handler. Not that I would expect you to know anything about those things.”

Bunny smirked like she had won and Wynonna crossed her arms to keep herself from pulling Peacemaker again. Not to actually shoot anyone...just to scare her a little bit. But with her luck, Dolls would come in just as she was drawing down on Purgatory’s most annoying upstanding citizen.

“For your information, Bunny, I know a lot about...all that,” Wynonna said looking down at her nails like she was bored. “I just choose not to flaunt my superiority in front of everyone. Unlike some people.”

Bunny chuckled. “I’ll believe that if I ever see it.”

Wynonna frowned at Bunny just as she turned to walk out of the BBD offices, throwing a flippant wave over her shoulder. Mark was still staring at Wynonna, teeth bared and growling. Wynonna bared her teeth back at the dog in a growl and made a biting motion at it just as it started barking again. It wasn’t until Bunny was out of the office that Wynonna saw Waverly standing there with a file in hand, eyebrow raised at her sister. Wynonna rolled her eyes and sat back down at her desk, legs spread as she slumped down.

“What’s that look for, Waves?”

“Nothing,” Waverly said with a shrug and amused smile. “Just...wondering if you always try to fight small dogs.”

Waverly sat down at her desk across from Wynonna’s and started flipping through the file.

“Listen, that thing was not a dog,” Wynonna said. “The owner, maybe.”

“Wynonna!” Waverly chastised. “Bunny does a lot for this town-”

“Like being a grade A bitch-”

“And yes, she has her...quirks. But so do you,” Waverly said.

Wynonna balked at her sister. “Are you defending Bunny and her legion of small, yappy demons? Over your sister? That’s cold, baby girl.”

“No,” Waverly said with an affectionate smile, “I’m just saying that you’re going to have to work with her. So you might as well get along with her.”

Wynonna groaned, neck rolling. “I can’t make a deal with the devil. I want to destroy her. And her little dog too.”

Waverly chuckled and said under her breath, “Okay, Elphaba.”

Wynonna’s head snapped to look at her sister. “Did you just curse at me in Latin?”

“What? No. It’s-...from ‘Wicked’? The book slash musical?”

Wynonna shook her head. “Alright, nerd, use that brain to help me think of a way to destroy Bunny.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Maybe if I kidnap her dog. Just a light kidnapping,” Wynonna mused to herself. She watched as a tall shadow walked past the BBD glass door and suddenly it hit her. She gasped to herself, delighted by her own genius but quickly tampered it. Her eyes darted over to Waverly who squinted at her suspiciously.

“I feel like you just had a really bad idea,” Waverly said.

“Nope!” Wynonna said, voice higher than normal as she turned back to a file on her desk that she had been reading before she fell asleep. “Not at all just...so excited about work.”

Waverly held her gaze for a moment then shrugged, turning back to her paperwork while Wynonna formulated the plan in her head.

***

“You’re kidding me.”

“No. For once I’m serious,” Wynonna said, plucking a piece of stray lint off the front of her shirt. She looked back up at Nicole who looked a unique mix between offended and intrigued. Wynonna smirked and leaned forward a little, leaning on the kitchen tables with her elbows. “It’s the least you can do for defiling my baby sister.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “Nonna, it’s been a year now. You can’t keep using that as a reason for me having to do you favors.”

“I can keep using it as a reason for as long as I keep walking in on you two,” Wynonna said with a shiver, remembering the last time she walked in on Nicole and Waverly in a position even she wasn’t brave enough to try.

“You keep walking in on us because you refuse to knock,” Nicole pointed out.

“Not the point, Haught Stuff.”

“Or you keep showing up at my house and picking the lock when we don’t answer.”

“I just want to make sure you’re safe-”

“Even when there’s a sign on the door saying ‘Wynonna, don’t come in-”

“Which is exactly what a demon would do, but, okay. Fine. I get your very small point,” Wynonna said pointedly. “But come on, this’ll be fun.”  

Nicole raised an eyebrow at Wynonna, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know if fun is the right word.”

“It is,” Wynonna insisted. “You get to show off and win shit. How fun is that?”

“So let me get this straight,” Nicole sighed. “I turn into wolf form for a day so that we can join this ridiculous dog competition all because you want to humiliate Bunny?”

“Yes,” Wynonna said, smile wide and eyes manic, “It’s fucking perfect. She’s going to lose her shit.”

“Isn’t that a bit like...cheating?” Nicole said cocking her head.

“Get off your moral high horse, Haught. It’s not technically cheating,” Wynonna said, lips pursed. “Because you’re technically a dog.”

“Wolf.”

“Tomato, tomahto,” Wynonna said with a wave of her hand. “So? Are you in? Or are you in?”

Nicole sighed, but Wynonna knew she had her. Nicole was competitive even in wolf form.

“Besides,” Wynonna said, deciding to sweeten the deal. “Imagine the look on Bunny’s face when we win that stupid fucking trophy.”

Nicole got a far away look in her eye and Wynonna clenched her fists gleefully. The redhead had her own bones to pick with Bunny and she knew Nicole wouldn’t be able to resist. Wynonna wiggled her eyebrows at her friend who rolled her eyes at her.

“Fine.”

Wynonna fist pumped the air in victory and poured some whiskey into the coffee cups she had gotten earlier. Nicole smiled, even as she shook her head.

“It’s ten in the morning,” she said.

Wynonna blinked and looked out the kitchen window. “Ugh, no wonder it’s so bright. More reason to drink.”

Nicole rolled her eyes again, but took the drink anyways.

***

“Okay, Haught,” Wynonna said as she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “Remember, just be the best.”

She looked over at the large...wolf sitting in the passenger seat. Wynonna patted the pocket of her leather jacket to make sure she had the extra syringe of the medicine that made Nicole docile. Her current dose should last her the whole day, but the last thing they needed was for Nicole to go full wolf and destroy everything in sight.

Nicole sat in the passenger seat, still with perfect posture, as she looked out the window. She had made Wynonna awkwardly put the seatbelt over her despite Wynonna arguing that she’d be perfectly fine without it.

As they pulled up to the park behind city hall, Wynonna saw all the other owners and their dogs. Mostly small, yappy looking things in weird outfits.

“Shit,” Wynonna cursed. “I should have put you in a tutu or something.” Nicole growled, brown eyes turning on Wynonna. She scoffed as she pulled into a parking spot. “Don’t act like I haven’t seen you wear that little dog police costume that Waverly bought! Super weird, by the way. I don’t need to know what weird sex stuff you guys do-”

Nicole growled again and Wynonna just put her hands up in surrender. “Fine fine. Sensitive Sally today, jeez.”

She undid her seatbelt and then Nicole’s, watching as the giant wolf jumped out the open window instead of waiting for Wynonna to open the door. Nicole sat patiently in front of the car, waiting for Wynonna as she took in the scene around her. There was a judge’s table set up and an area marked off with ribbon between cones where Wynonna assumed the competition would take place. She stood next to Nicole, leaning back against the hood of the truck as she looked for Bunny.

“These things really bring out the cream of the crop of Purgatory, don’t they?” Wynonna muttered sarcastically. Nicole just sighed doggily. “Alright, Haught Shot, let’s go in there and destroy Bunny and her dog with a weirdly human name that I can’t even remember right now.”

Nicole let out a soft bark and followed Wynonna as she walked over to the registration table. She squinted against the sun but then rolled her eyes when she saw Waverly sitting at the table, waving at them excitedly. Nicole’s strides got a little faster and Wynonna groaned.

“Seriously, Waves?” Wynonna asked as she walked up to the table. “What are you doing here?”

“Nedley asked if I could help,” Waverly said with a small pout that soon turned to a smile. “Plus I wanted to come watch and cheer on my baby.” She cooed at Nicole whose tongue lolled out of her mouth happily.

Wynonna pretended to gag. “Ugh, stop. People are going to think you have the hots for my dog,” she said looking around them. “And it’s a small town but we aren’t that big of hicks.”

Waverly shot Wynonna a look before going back to the papers in front of her. She scanned down the list with a highlighter until she crossed out Wynonna’s name. She handed Wynonna a wristband and a bandana.

“What’s this for?” Wynonna asked, holding up the bandana. It was a bright pink and had ‘Purgatory’s Annual Dog Day Extravaganza!’ printed on it with cheesy little clip art dogs all over it.

“Nicole has to wear that,” Waverly said giving the wolf an apologetic look. Nicole rested her long snout on the table with a sigh and Waverly took the bandana from Wynonna to put on her neck. “Sorry, I know pink isn’t your favorite.”

“She’s color blind, she can’t see,” Wynonna said dismissively as she managed to get the paper wristband on herself.

“Earp?” Wynonna’s spine straightened at the familiar voice, face hardening as she turned around to face Bunny. She had shoved her tiny thing into a full sailor outfit, complete with hat, and was wearing a matching outfit.

“Bunny,” Wynonna said with a quick nod in greeting. She turned to the thing in her arms that yapped at her. “And...thing I’m not entirely convinced is a dog.”

It just yapped again.

“I didn’t realize you had a-” Bunny looked down at Nicole who was sitting obediently by Wynonna’s side. “-...dog. Is that even a dog?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Wynonna said, squinting at the tiny sailor in her arms.

Bunny scoffed. “Mark is a purebred teacup Yorkshire Terrier. What is...this?”

“Oh Haug- um...Fluffy over here is a...” she looked down at Nicole who looked up at her with wide eyes. “Irish...Labrador...Hound. And part...Schnauzer.”

Bunny frowned at her and looked Nicole over. “I’ve...never heard of that.”

Wynonna nodded triumphantly. “Very rare. And hard to train. Obviously.”

Nicole shot her a look but turned back to Bunny when Mark started yapping at her, straining to get out of Bunny’s arms. Bunny struggled for a moment, trying to keep the tiny dog up and off the ground away from Nicole.

“Don’t worry, Fluffy here doesn’t bite. Hard,” Wynonna chuckled, watching as Bunny’s eyes practically bulged from her head. “Plus I fed her an extra big meal this morning. So.”

“Are you sure this dog isn’t part wolf?” Bunny asked. “Because it states in the rules-”

“Nope! All dog,” Wynonna said with a nervous chuckle, patting the top of Nicole’s head. She growled lowly and Wynonna stopped, pulling her hand away quickly.

Bunny squinted at her. “Is she fixed?”

“Sorry?”

“Spayed?”

Wynonna let out a belly laugh. “Ha! I wish. Amirite?” she snorted, turning to look at Waverly who looked less than amused. Wynonna let the smile fall from her face. Everyone was so damn serious. Jesus. She turned back towards Bunny, face serious. “Yes, of course she is. Because I’m a responsible dog owner.”

Bunny hummed, Mark still yapping in her arms. She walked past Wynonna and up to the table for Waverly to check her in, Mark’s yapping only getting louder the closer he got to Wynonna. She fixed him with a death glare and snarled at him. Bunny’s head snapped towards her.

“Did you just growl at my dog?” she asked.

Wynonna straightened up, rolling her shoulders back with a scoff. “No. Who does that?”

“Thanks, Bunny!” Waverly said sweetly, fixing her with her biggest ‘Nicest Person in Purgatory’ smile. “I’ll be sure to cheer Mark on today.”

Bunny smiled at Waverly before shooting Wynonna another nasty look and walking away. Wynonna leaned against the table and watched her go.

“Man, I hate that woman. And her dog rat thing.”

“Mark is just a product of his upbringing,” Waverly said as Nicole walked over to her and rested her head on her lap. Waverly stroked her head affectionately and Wynonna just groaned at the saccharine nature of the whole thing.

“Alright, alright,” Wynonna said, pushing herself off the table. “Let’s go kick some dog ass, Haught.”

Both Waverly and Nicole groaned.

***

The first competition of the day was just a basic obedience test which Nicole obviously passed with flying colors. Even if she gave Wynonna a look every time she called her ‘Fluffy’. Every sit, stay and heel, Nicole nailed. The crowd clapped and Nicole’s chest puffed a little bit. Wynonna rolled her eyes at the way Nicole strutted as they walked past the judges and back to the line up.

“Nobody likes a cocky bitch,” Wynonna said out of the corner of her mouth as they stood and watched Bunny and Mark walk into the center of the roped off area. Mark went through the motions, heel then sit then stay. Wynonna scoffed, “Wow, Mark, that stay was looking miiiiiiiighty shaky.”

Nicole made an odd sound at the back of her throat that Wynonna could only assume might be laughter. She looked over at the crowd and saw Waverly standing at the volunteer table, waving at the two of them. Wynonna gave a short, embarrassed wave back even as she felt a smile tug at her lips. She could hear Nicole’s tail thumping at the sight of Waverly and stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets.

She felt the familiar ache in her chest at seeing these little moments between Nicole and her sister. As much as she made fun them, Wynonna was happy for Waverly. Happy and jealous and grossed out and worried. Worried that Waverly would get hurt or that Wynonna would get hurt when Waverly decided to leave her forever.

Wynonna felt a nudge on her leg and saw Nicole looking up at her, inquisitive look on her face. She cursed the inquisitive nature Nicole carried even in wolf form.

“Yeah yeah,” Wynonna said, landing a heavy pat between Nicole’s ears. Nicole nudged her head up into Wynonna’s hand. “Okay, no need to get sappy.”

Next up was the agility course and Wynonna, once again, wasn’t worried. She saw the stupid ridiculous runs Haught went on in the morning, even in the freezing cold. Plus, being a werewolf had to grant her some sort of fun physical powers or what was the point?

“Okay, Haught,” Wynonna said, crouching down next to her as they watched Mark go through the course. Bunny was running alongside Mark, face red as her little legs seemed to work extra hard to get herself around the course, not unlike Mark. He ran up the A-frame and back down, tripping at the bottom and barely touching the colored contact pad he needed to for points. Wynonna scoffed. “I don’t know how this asshole wins every year. He’s gotten comfortable, his form is sloppy. Also, you know there’s no way in hell I’m running next to your ass so I’m going to stand in the middle and shout things at you that sound impressive. Okay?”

Nicole dipped her head with a snort. Confirmation. They were called into the ring and Nicole sat at the start line. She bounced back and forth on her front paws and Wynonna chuckled.

“Alright, eager beaver,” Wynonna said. “Make mamma proud.”

The whistle blew and Nicole took off. Wynonna did what she was best at, standing in the middle of the course and pointing like she was actually directing Nicole in the movements. Nicole ran through the course with precision, making sure to touch every point of contact necessary and zooming through the poles. Wynonna clapped as Nicole came to the end, hand up for a high five. Nicole stood up on her back legs and put her paw to Wynonna’s hand in a high five and the crowd went crazy.

Nicole spun in an excited circle and they strutted past the rest of the dogs back to their spot. Wynonna smiled widely at Bunny whose face was practically purple, frown on her face. She winked at the older woman and Mark just yapped his usual yap.

“Good job, Haught Sauce,” Wynonna muttered as they got back in line. “This thing is definitely in the bag.”

As the competitions went on, Bunny kept turning different shades of red. Even Mark seemed to get yappier as the day started to wind down, his little sailor suit looking crumpled and Bunny’s matching hat just a little askew. At one point, Wynonna looked into the crowd to see Waverly, Jeremy, Doc and Dolls all standing there cheering them on. Well, Jeremy and Waverly were enthusiastically cheering them on. Dolls and Doc had decided on polite clapping, small smirks on their faces.

The final competition was a basic evaluation. The judges would go by and rate the dogs solely by appearance. Wynonna felt like she should be offended by it but decided to keep her comments for afterwards. For once.

She knelt down next to Nicole once more and frowned at her.

“Alright, Fluffy,-”

Nicole growled at the name but Wynonna continued.

“-there’s nothing we can do for this, you just have to be your big, wolfy, beautiful self. Alright, White Fang.”

Nicole snorted.

“Balto?”

Nicole put her paw over her nose in embarrassment and Wynonna rolled her eyes.

“You’re so dramatic. Fine, we’ll stick with Fluffy. Anyways, just...be cool. Okay? I feel like we’re neck and neck in points with Mark and I really want to take this win home.”

Wynonna looked over her shoulder to see Bunny frantically brushing out Mark’s coat, his beady eyes practically staring them down. Wynonna stuck her tongue out at him and his body vibrated as he growled.

”Yap yap! Yap! Yap!”

“That son of a bitch,” Wynonna said turning back to Nicole. “I’m gonna need you to translate that for me later, Haught.”

Nicole cocked her head to the side in a way that wasn’t completely dissimilar from when she did the same in her human form. Wynonna looked at her for a moment and felt a wave of unwanted affection rise in her chest. Her face hardened and she looked over at Waverly, happily cheering them on in even the most ridiculous plan of stealing a trophy from a sad woman with too much time, lonely but for her dog. Wynonna hated these moments. The moments that she felt overwhelmed with...love.

She supposed going so long in her life without that warm bullshit feeling of love made her extra soft at times. And Wynonna hated it. In the years since she’d been back, she’d gotten better, allowing herself to love more fiercely and accept that there were people that could and did love her without question. Just the thought made her throat tight and she quickly turned back towards Nicole.

“Anyways,” she cleared her throat and shut her eyes briefly in an attempt to chase away the feelings.  “Um...thanks for um...doing this, Haught. All because I have a grudge. I really appreciate it.”

Nicole’s tongue lolled out of her mouth happily and she placed her large paw on Wynonna’s shoulder. Wynonna rolled her eyes and looked away with a smirk. “Yeah, yeah. I’m just glad you can’t hug me in wolf form.”

“Now presenting, Fluffy and her handler, Wynonna!”

Wynonna stood up and they did a quick walk around the ring. She could tell that Nicole had her chest puffed out and was trying to look as graceful as possible. They made it up to the table set up in the center where the judge stood. Nicole jumped up on the table and stood there as the judges ran their hands down her back and examined her teeth.

Nicole’s ears flattened and a small growl built in her throat when they started examining the back half of her, even going as far as to lift her tail.

“Hey!” she heard Waverly yell in the distance.

Wynonna gave Nicole a sympathetic look and pat her head. She whispered, “I owe you so many drinks.”

The judge frowned and looked up at her so Wynonna just chuckled to play it off. He wrote something down on his clipboard and stepped aside so that Nicole could jump down. They went back to the line up and waited, watching as Mark got set on the table for examination. When the judge went to the middle with his little clipboard, Wynonna was surprised to actually feel herself get nervous.

Nicole stood besides her, tail thumping against the ground as the judge waved to the crowd.

“We have our decision,” he said loudly and with more importance than he had the business of having. “Third place, we have Taffy and her owner Jenna!”

There was a polite applause, Wynonna giving one unenthusiastic clap as she watched the small brown dog and her twelve year old owner go collect their prize. Wynonna chuckled and muttered under her breath.

“Look at that tiny ass trophy,” Wynonna whispered. “Did you see Taffy’s high five during the trick competition? Pathetic. My grannie gave better high fives after her stroke.”

“Second place,” the judge continued, “Is-”

Wynonna held her breath and she was sure Bunny was holding hers too.

“-Mark and his owner Bunny!”

Wynonna clapped extra loud with a little cheer, some of the nerves in her chest dissipating. There was no way they were losing now. Hell, even if they did, the incredulous look on Bunny’s face for receiving second place was enough of a win. Her face was pinched into one hard line, Mark struggling in her arms as she held him extra close to her chest. She looked at Wynonna who smiled back at her and back to the judge who looked at her expectantly.

Bunny plastered the biggest fake smile on her face as she walked up to the judge to receive her trophy. Wynonna made sure to clap as enthusiastically as she could when Bunny passed her.

“That leaves first place,” the judge said with a large smile. Wynonna scoffed and shook her head. He must not get enough attention at home, she figured. This must be the one time a year he got a little bit of appreciation. “And first place, goes to…”

He took a deep breath.

“Fluffy and her handler Wynonna!”

“Fuck yeah, bitches!” Wynonna shouted with a fist pump. Bunny let out a small, offended scream and Wynonna walked up to the judge with Nicole trotting besides her. She made sure to flip Bunny off over her shoulder as she walked and the crowd chortled in a mixture of offence and amusement.

The judge frowned at her but she snatched the trophy from his hand anyways and held it over her head. Waverly and Jeremy were bouncing in place as they cheered and Nicole turned in a tight, excited circle. Wynonna held her hand out for a high five and Nicole definitely did not leave her hanging. She took another look over at Bunny and Wynonna could practically see her writing up the complaint to the Sheriff’s Department in her mind.

“We did it, Haught,” Wynonna said with a broad smile. “It’s time to drink.”

***

Wynonna and Nicole sat at the bar in Shorty’s, already a few drinks in when Doc poured them another. The trophy sat on the bar in front of them, a gastly metallic thing with a plastic dog painted gold on the top.

Wynonna had never been more proud.

“You know, Haught, I never had any trophies as a kid,” Wynonna slurred. Waverly came up to Nicole from behind and wrapped her arms around her waist, head resting on her upper arm.

“Sure you did,” Waverly corrected. “You had that field day trophy from fourth grade.”

Wynonna scoffed as she threw back another shot. “Yeah, because I tripped Stacy Greenwright to win.”

“Still counts.”

“Anyways,” Wynonna said, drawing out the ‘s’ and turning back to Nicole. “I wanted to say...thanks, Haught, for having just as many moral qualms about cheating to take away one annoying harpie’s joy in the world.”

Nicole blinked drunkenly at Wynonna, the edge of her half empty beer glass resting on her chin. “It’s not...I mean, we worked real hard for that trophy,” she said, tongue thick from the alcohol. “We deserve it.”

“I agree,” Wynonna said. She gestured for two more shots and Doc poured them quickly. He knew better than to make an Earp wait for alcohol. She passed one to Nicole and held the other one up herself. “To...teamwork.”

Nicole grinned stupidly. “We do make a really good team, don’t we?”

Wynonna pointed at Nicole. “Don’t be getting too sappy on me, Fluffy.”

Nicole wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “I can’t believe you gave me that stupid name.”

“I think it’s cute,” Waverly cooed, turning Nicole on her barstool and squishing her cheeks between both of her hands. “And fitting. Especially when your hair’s all messy in the morning.”

They giggled and their faces drifted closer. Their lips had just barely touched when Wynonna pretended to gag and get their attention back.

“Hey! Keep it in your pants for three seconds, guys. I’m trying to have a nice moment and you’re ruining it with your gross...love shit.”

Waverly shot Wynonna a look but Nicole straightened back up with a blush and looked over at her again.

“As I was saying. To teamwork and beating out Bunny.”

“To teamwork and beating Bunny,” Nicole repeated and they took the shot simultaneously. The shot burned as it moved down Wynonna’s throat but she relished it. It warmed her stomach pleasantly and she smiled widely at Nicole who was nearly tilting off her stool.

“So,” Wynonna said with a wink. “What else can we do to fuck with Bunny?”

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader -“Obsession”

The Joker has an obsession: you. He doesn’t really need another one added to the pile but…anyway, here it is. Brace yourself  you lucky girl - you’re in for a treat. 

Related to this: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/162770482096/the-joker-x-reader-yuki

– He keeps on dropping things on purpose so you can pick them up, this way he can stare at your butt.

You know, for being the Joker, your boyfriend is pretty clumsy: he keeps on dropping stuff all the time. Like, right now, he just dropped his pen and you are fast to bend over and get it for him.

Intense purring immediately follows.

– J took you shopping and you were so excited when you smelled “Gucci Guilty” for men. You thought it’s a divine scent and he got 10 bottles without you knowing, replacing his current cologne with the Gucci one. He has those stashed all over the place while he still keeps in sight his usual fragrance: Clive Christian - “No.1” .

You have a feeling he smells like “Gucci Guilty”.

“Are you wearing Gucci Guilty?” you sniff the air around him with a huge smile on your face.

“Nope,” The Joker keeps on piling up money in boxes, trying to ignore you.

“Are you sure?” the insistent question pops up because you got a vibe you’re onto something here.

“I think I know since I’m the one that put it on, hm? Stop pestering me!!!” he barks your way and you just turn around, biting on your lip, stricken with fascination: your boyfriend does smell like GG, no point in denying it. Where is the damn bottle? (Well… bottles, but you have no clue there are 10 of them).

– You love knives; they are your favorite weapons. Mister J believes it’s classy as hell: in a world of guns, his girl is sooo stylish using sharp blades. You don’t know yet, but he ordered 50 personalized gold plated knives with your initials on them. He plans to give them to you for your 2 year anniversary.

* J totally loves it when you use him as target practice: such a turn on when the blades shriek by him, he gets very impatient.

“Don’t move, baby, I wouldn’t wanna cut something you might need to use later, hm?” you always wink at him, teasing even more just because you can.

Your boyfriend loves guns. So you will surprise him for you 2 year anniversary with a special gift: you will order 20 personalized guns for him from the place that all Gotham’s underworld knows about. Upfront they sell jewelry but the basement it’s a different story.

“I want to order 20 customized guns: half green, half purple background, gold plated,” you start your order.

“Sure, may I ask who they’re for? We can personalize even more,” the guy offers, pointing towards the multitude of catalogues lying around.

“Daddy,” you reply, absent minded since some fancy grenades caught your eye.

“How old?”

“Ummm…Probably… around 39,” you debate, deep in thought.

“Oohhh, OK,” the seller finally understands.”Got’cha!”

You smack your lips and it clicks for the person.

“Hold on, is the order for Mister J ?”

“Of course it’s for him, who else?!” you frown, irritated by the question.

“Oh my God, so sorry, I didn’t recognized you with this purple hair!”

“Whatever!” you grumble, grouchy he needed so many hints to figure it out.

“Would you also like to add his logo on all the guns?”

You roll your eyes, exasperated:

“Well, duh, HE IS The Joker, isn’t he???!!!!”

“Such a Goddam temper,” he thinks, aiming not to annoy you since you are famous for your short fuse.

* You totally love it when J uses you as target practice: such a torn on when the bullets shriek by your ears, you get very impatient.

“Don’t move, Pumpkin, I wouldn’t want to shoot something you might need later, yes?” and he always takes his shirt off, teasing even more just because he can.

– He likes to watch you sleep. Sometimes The Joker spends hours just staring at you. One night he cut off a small strand of your hair and hid it in the nob of his favorite cane since it’s hollow, this way he always has a piece of you with him. He detests being so infatuated but he can’t help it.

You like to watch your boyfriend sleep; you spend hours just staring at him. One night you cut off a strand of his hair and hid it in the pendant he gave you last year and never part with, this way you always have a piece of him with you. You hate it that you are so infatuated but can’t help it.

And you love his hands. When he’s asleep, you just like to look at his fingers, pressing your palm against his, caressing the soft skin. Sometimes he wakes up.

“What are you doing, Princess?” he opens just one eye, not knowing what’s going on.

“Nothing,” you are fast to reply, kissing his knuckles and keeping one of his hands prisoner for the rest of the night.

– Once every 3 months or so, your boyfriend is in a good mood so you try to take advantage of the rare occurrence. This time, for example, you convinced J to let you put makeup on him because you want to have an idea on how he looked like before the “Ace Chemicals” incident. A little bit of foundation to cover the scars and tattoos, bringing the skin and lips to a natural tone plus a dark blonde wig with a similar haircut to cover the toxic green locks.

“Wow, you were so gorgeous before too!” you gasp, admiring your work and how flawless The Joker seems. In your opinion, of course; Batsy wouldn’t share the same belief.“So this is how you looked like before?!”

“More or less,” he smirks, loving to see you so worked up about the whole thing. “Can’t argue with that statement though, I am a very good looking guy.”

You take a picture of him like that and set it up as your new screensaver, gulping when he gets up all shirtless, taking the wig off, being done with the experiment. A miracle doesn’t last for long - just like his patience.

“I’m gonna go and wash this stuff off,” he stretches and heads towards the bathroom when you block his way.

“Noooot so fast, handsome. I was kind of thinking to have a one night stand with this stranger I’ve just met,” you lock your arms around his neck, determined to have fun with him like that.

“Well, this stranger’s services are very expensive. I come with a high price. Still interested?” The Joker grumbles in your ear because he doesn’t want to say no to some crazy stuff for sure.

You just snicker and push him on the couch, starting to undress.

* Later you both go to one of your clubs to enjoy a night out. While you change your dress in the VIP room upstairs, one of the waitresses brings J his drink, thinking she can finally get you in trouble with your man. She despises you but you wouldn’t know since you never pay attention to those girls.

“E-hem, Mister J?…” she clears her throat, getting ready to talk crap.

“What?” he snarls, watching over the club from behind the smoky windows.

“Sir, I’m sorry to bring the bad news, but I think your girlfriend is cheating on you,” she blurs out and he lifts his chin up to finally look at her.

“Is she?”

“Yes, Mister J, I saw it with my own eyes. Y/N keeps on glaring at the screen saver she has on her phone; definitely not your picture sir. I caught her kissing the image and she turned off the cell right away, pretending nothing happened.”

He sighs, tapping his cane on the floor.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, sir, I swear!” a smile appears on her face, happy you are probably a goner now.

“That woman! How dares she?!” J huffs and pushes her away, then strolls upstairs while she silently follows.

He barges in the VIP room, slamming the silver door behind him.

“Almost done, baby,” you cheerfully announce, putting on another coat of mascara.

“Who is that asshole on your phone?” he raises his voice and the waitress bites on her nails, enticed at your misfortune.

“Umm…My boyfriend?” you giggle and turn to face him, wondering if you’re playing roles again.

“Boyfriend?! How dare you sleeping with somebody else behind my back, huh?” and he tosses the cane to the floor with all his strength, making the woman jump on the other side of the door.

Oh, she’s gonna get it ! she victoriously chuckles to herself, silently clapping.

You are going to get it, but not in the way she thinks.

“I couldn’t help it,” you play along, not having a clue about what’s going on but if he wants to go this way, heeeeyy, works for you.

“You are so paying for this, nobody cheats on me!!!!” J yells, starting to rip your dress off while you do the same with his shirt.

She’s going to pay for it ! I hope he kills her, the woman gets all excited, waiting for the bad turn she is responsible for.

You are going to pay for it, but not in the way she thinks.

She hears a loud thud, your scream and The Joker grunting, then …moans?!

What the hell is going on?!  she wonders, baffled, still listening at the door for a few more moments before leaving.

Needless to say nobody saw her again after that night. Who knows what happened? People disappear all the time, right?

– You can fix things and J goes insane for it. He breaks shit on purpose. “Doll, we have a water leak under the kitchen sink !” he shouts and places his elbows on the table, waiting for you.

“Again?!” you reply from the balcony, but go and get the tool box so you can take a look. You get under the sink and begin to work on the problem.

Intense purring immediately follows.

You don’t know how, but something always breaks around the penthouse. It’s a mystery since everything is the best quality money can buy. Like, why do you have another water leak under the sink?! You just had one two days ago. And The Joker is purring so loud. Why is he all excited about?!  

– You love huskies so J got you a puppy. Best present ever! Since you love Japanese names, you named the fur ball Yuki. The first trick you taught your doggie makes you melt when you watch it in action:

“Yuki, go bite Daddy!” The puppy jumps from your lap and charges at your boyfriend, grabbs his shoelace and pulls on it while growling up a storm:

“Grrrrrrr!!! Grrrrr!!! Grrrrrr!!!!”

J would love to break its neck, but how can you kill something that kind of growls like you?!

“Cut it out, mutt !” he threatens but bends over to pet the puppy. He hears you whistling with admiration.

“Wow, nice ass baby!”

* The puppy likes to sleep on your tummy. You are watching a movie with J and it’s boring so you need something more interesting to see.

“Yuki, go bite Daddy!”  The doggie’s ears go straight up and he rushes to get the enemy, pulling on the t-shirt he didn’t take off yet.

“Grrrrrr!!!! Grrrrr!!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!”

“So annoying!” The Joker complains, but caresses the fluffy pest and as a response he gets licked all over his face. And barked at too, in between.

You are absolutely and utterly thrilled.

“Now I have two sets of blue eyes I adore,” you grin with admiration, and your boyfriend doesn’t like that.

“I’m the only one you adore. Period,” and he starts growling.

Yuki’s tail wiggles with eagerness while jumping up and down by The Joker.

“Grrrr!!! Grrrrrr!!! Grrrrr!!”

J growls some more; Yuki is stunned and continues to growl also.

“Are you two having a contest?” you start laughing, reaching over to separate the two feisty males. The puppy cuddles in your arms, barking at his other owner.

When The Joker’s arm reaches towards you, Yuki hops on it, keeping it in place, not having any of it.

“Stop it, mutt ! I need my girl!”

His fingers are softly getting chewed on and more growling follows.

“Seriously?! I want to have sex with my woman, get lost!” and Yuki gets lift up and locked outside the master bedroom, but not before it gets more petting and squeezing. His intention was to break the puppy’s neck, but how can you kill something that kind of growls like you?!

– J hopes you are not going to notice how much he’s obsessed with you. It will get to your head and he already spoils you too much.

You hope that your boyfriend won’t notice how obsessed you are with him. It will get to his head and you already indulge his every whim. Even if he is soooo clumsy. Like, right now, J just dropped his gun and you are quick to bend over and get it for him.

Intense purring immediately follows.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[starrnobella]

Tagged by my faves, @xxdustnight88​ and @squarepeg72! 

The Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories. See if there are any patterns. Then tag your 10 favourite authors.

1.) Ginny Molly Weasley and Harry James Potter   joyfully invite you to share in their happiness as they unite in marriage on Saturday, the twenty fourth of June twenty thousand seventeen at three pm.  Hermione stared at the invitation in her hand. (TBA around July 8th!) 

2.)  “We need to talk,” she said softly as she entered the bedroom. (We Need to Talk) 

3.) Day 1 I’m numb. Is that a normal way to feel after a breakup? Although at this point, I’m not entirely sure what is normal anymore. I also don’t know how to feel. I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear. Is that normal? (PS - I Hope You’re Happy - coming soon) 

4.)  As they walked through the door to the Charmings’ apartment, they were met with a scene of controlled chaos. (Forever and Always: Chapter 15 - Family Bonding) 

5.)  LONDON - A name that strikes fear in the hearts of people who survived the second Wizarding War will finally be facing charges for the horrendous crimes he has committed. (Lost Letters of Love - Letter 27) 

6.)  “Have you seen the way the way he looks at you?” Curtis said casually to Felicity after Oliver had left the room. (The Truth) 

7.)  “I’ve had the most brilliant idea, Georgie my boy,” Fred announced as he walked into the Gryffindor common room one dreary fall afternoon. (Hufflepuff Shenanigans - coming soon) 

8.)  She watched as the door closed softly behind him. For some reason, she couldn’t remove the smile from her face. In a little less than twenty four hours, she would no longer be Emma Swan, no it’d be Emma Jones from now on. It would be a welcomed change in her life. A change that would set aside all the feelings from the past that the name had carried with it. Finally her life would be changing for the better. (TBA - coming soon)

9.) Daphne: Oh what are you growling at? Theo: You’re keeping something from me… Daphne: I know I am ...That’s what makes it fun… Theo: Grrrrrr…. (The Acceptable Answer) 

10.)  Knocking on a closed door, Draco sighed his head as he waited for the person on the other side to answer. This was the fifth door today that he had knocked on. The day before he had knocked on ten or more doors. All of them resulted in the same response. It was only a matter of time until this door resulted in the same exact thing. (A Series of Moments: Chapter 5 - Frustrations) 

11.)  Dirty dishes sat on the edge of the sink in the kitchen. Piles of books, clothes, and papers were scattered over the drawing room. Late into the afternoon, the heavy curtains were still pulled shut. The dusty, old look to the inside of the house would lead one to believe the house itself was suffering from a grim depression. There was a bleakness wrapped around the whole house as a shawl wrapped around a person’s shoulders on a rough wintry morning. (Broken - coming soon) 

12.)  STARLING CITY - Queen Consolidated CEO playboy, Oliver Queen, was caught by paparazzi Friday night ushering a mystery woman, Sara Lance, out of his downtown apartment. (The Trouble with Tabloids - coming soon) 

13.)  He looked down at the ring in his hand. The words Snow had said to him before she left resonating in his mind and causing him to question why he was still standing here. There were so many thoughts bouncing around inside his head. The snow continued to fall as he stared at the ring trying to make the right decision. (When It Comes to You) 

14.)  Draco was lying on his back on the couch in the middle of the Slytherin common room. He had just returned from the most brutal Potions exam of the year and did not have the energy or willpower to force himself to walk the rest of the way to his dorm. (Overheard in the Slytherin Common Room) 

15.)  This was the last place he expected her pretty blonde head to come bouncing into in all of Connecticut. After they had split, there was an unspoken agreement between the two. He stayed on his side of town and she stayed on hers. Both sets of friends knew where that invisible line was and tried their hardest to keep from crossing it. (Hurricane) 

16.)  “Snow, you could have a least waited for me before you went barging inside,” Charming said pulling the door to Emma and Hook’s house shut behind him as he entered. He was greeted by Snow shushing him as Emma was talking on the phone. (Tacos & Pancakes) 

17.)  “You’re on, Princess,” one of the Vikings grunted as he crossed his arms over his chest. (Bullseye Bartab) 

18.)  “I’m trying to get home to you and I’ll never stop until I do,” Killian told her, his grip on the shell tightening as he waited to hear her voice. He was hoping that she hadn’t removed all of his belongings from their home when he didn’t return to her. (Shell Phone Call) 

19.)  “Emma wait!” Killian called after her as she quickly ran up the stairs towards their bedroom. Upon getting no reply, Killian cursed under his breath before following after her. When he was about halfway up the stairs, he heard the door to their room slam shut. Hanging his head, he climbed the rest of the stairs. (Issues) 

20.)  She stared in silence at the flickering flame of the candle on the table slowly fading out. She watched as the wax roll down the side and pile up on the holder. The dinner on the table was cold. He was late again and would probably have the same excuse as last time. (Just Another Vice) 

I know that some of these are more than just the first line, but that’s because I don’t tend to write long first sentences. That’s the trend I notice anyways.  Let me know if you notice anymore! I’ve linked the ones that I can to their post on tumblr! :) 

Now onto the tags: @rowenahillblog; @gryff-in-the-game; @caspergirlie; @botwp; @slytherinprincess1994; @hollysparkswrites; @ohmakemeahercules; @rooojoy; @affectiionwrites; @dragonsandotters-dh

[onaka-ga-itai]

A/N: Thanks for being patient. I’m sure this one’s not up to my usual standards but lotsa factors in life got in the way. This was my means of escape; but it seems that these two aspects keep butting heads and getting in the way of each other. Anyway, please enjoy this, whatever it is. 

             Splish. Splish. Clink-Clinka-Clink.

             Tetsuya quietly wrings out the dishtowel into the bowl of ice water. He uses it to wipe down the sweat covering Taiga's face and neck. Taiga is finally resting after a long night under the influence of fevered dreams. He was thrashing around all night, yelling and screaming and overall making himself sick. Tetsuya was kicked awake each time until he decided to drag a chair from the kitchen over and sit vigil over his sick boyfriend all night. He feels responsible. There's a part of Tetsuya that blames himself for Taiga's current condition.

             Tetsuya works as a caregiver at a daycare, mostly caring for children too young to be put in school. It's a tough job mainly because some parents pull overtime and Tetsuya's job doesn't end at 5--it ends when every last child has been signed out by their guardians. It's getting close to the holidays and some parents are clocking in more hours to prepare for their holiday spending. Unfortunately, that means longer hours for Tetsuya.

             It's also flu season right now, which means a large part of the job is wiping noses, cleaning vomit, administering medicine, and rubbing sore tummies. Tetsuya has worked in the field long enough to develop a resistance to the common cold and flu, which is all well and good considering the long hours means he sometimes forgoes personal hygiene for sleep. He wishes he had made more of an effort this week, what with Taiga coming home. Who knows what sorts of germs he exposed his lover to, all because he was too tired for a shower.

             Taiga's been in America for the last seven months or so, living the life of a pro-b-baller. He comes back to Japan whenever he can and he's been back for about three days at this point. They were planning to go on a date today since it's a rare day off for Tetsuya. Too bad that's not happening. The fever has robbed Taiga of all sense--he still mutters as though he thinks he's back in America with his legion of rabid fangirls.

             "Nooo...don' want...ge'off..."

             Tetsuya sighs as Taiga weakly bats at the hand holding the cool towel. He tosses the towel in the bowl and sits on the edge of the bed, pinning Taiga's arms to his side in an embrace.

             Around 2AM the delusions started. Tetsuya texted and asked Alexandra what happened in America that could traumatize Taiga enough to have fevered dreams. Apparently there were some fans that wanted more than just an autograph from the redhead. Tabloids love portraying the celebrity as a rapist, but they don't really report on it when the fans are the ones that attack the celebrities. Tetsuya heard from Alexandra about how Taiga had to change hotel rooms every day because some rabid fan will sneak into his room and wait for him in the nude, or about how some girls want Taiga to sign their breasts as they reach over to grope his ass.

             As guilty as he feels about possibly infecting Taiga with the germs that caused his sickness, Tetsuya feels a little better when he hears some of things spoken, unfiltered, by Taiga. Taiga is many things, but 'unfaithful' is not one of them. Throughout the night Tetsuya listened as Taiga mumbled in his fevered state. At times he was talking to a fan, telling them off. Other times he was complaining to his coach or manager, telling them to get them away. Most touching of all were all the "Only Tetsu...get away...only want Tetsu" murmurs he lapsed into on more than one occasion. It's good to know that even though Taiga could have any number of people, man or woman or anything in between, he still remains faithful to Tetsuya and only to him.

             Gurk...ggrrrrrrr...rrrrll.

             Taiga's face twists in pain. Tetsuya's pale hand immediately goes to Taiga's stomach. He lets out a sigh, he was dreading this. Even with all the vomiting he's been doing, it was only a matter of time before Taiga got hungry.

             "What am I supposed to do? You're the one that knows how to cook, not me."

             Many things have changed since their high school days but Tetsuya's cooking skills are not one of them. He still pretty much only knows how to cook a boiled egg or microwave some popcorn--neither of which is something you'd feed a sick person.

             GRRRRRRRRR....rrrrr...

             Taiga shifts in bed, curling up to try and stop the ache in his stomach. Tetsuya sighs and settles back in his chair. He reaches out and begins to rub Taiga's stomach. He puts his head down on the side of the bed as he continues to massage Taiga's cramping belly. He's starting to wonder what the difference between work and home is.

 --

             Taiga opens his eyes and squints against the orange light streaming through their gossamer curtains.

             "Oh? You awake?"

             Taiga turns to the voice and sees the face of his friend, Himuro Tatsuya.

             "Tatsuya? Why are you--"

             "The double date, remember? I texted when you didn't show. You didn't answer. I got worried."

             Right--they had planned a double date with Tatsuya and Atsushi on...Saturday.

             "Sorry--I guess my phone died. Did you take care of me? You shouldn't have--you should have gone on your date and forgotten about me and--where's Tetsu?"

             Tatsuya smiles and gestures over to the side of the bed. Taiga looks down and sees a head of unruly grey/blue hair.

             "I wasn't the one that took care of you. I just got here. Kuroko looks like he ran himself ragged trying to take care of you so I decided to stay and see if I could help any."

             Taiga's belly rumbles.

             "I guess it's a good thing I sent Atsushi out to grab us all dinner."

             "Nnngh..." Tetsuya sits up and groggily rubs at his eyes. "Oh...you're awake."

             "Tetsuya--you haven't slept much either, have you? You need to take care of yourself if you're going to try to take care of Taiga."

             "Himuro-san? Why are you--oh." It's only now that Tetsuya remembers their plans for a double date on Saturday--2 days ago. He called in sick at work today to take care of Taiga--it's not like he's up for much in his current state anyway. His days off were spent spoon-feeding Taiga water, washing the sheets each time Taiga threw up on them (Tetsuya gave up on trying to guide Taiga to a proper vomit receptacle), and rubbing Taiga's finicky tummy. "Sorry."

             "It's fine. You should have told us though--we could have helped."

             Tetsuya mentally kicks himself for forgetting about the double date on Saturday. He's been dealing with a lot of stress--what with parents sending their sick kids to the daycare, and their relationship (or lack of one) being as it is with Taiga in America, and multiple other stressors. Tetsuya's been at his wits end for a while now.

             Grrrrrr...

             Tetsuya's arms fly to his stomach and his face turns red. Tatsuya chuckles.

             "Tetsu? Don't tell me you caught my fever."

             Tatsuya starts laughing even harder as he watches Taiga fret over an embarrassed Tetsuya.

             " 'Muro-chin, I'm back."

             "Murasakibara-kun."

             "Oh? Kuro-chin's awake?"

             "Thanks, Atsushi." Tatsuya gets up. "Now then, since everyone's awake, who's up for oden?"

[dashinberlin]

First week

MONDAY 26 NOV Jan comes over again and we finalize details of what we want to do with the room. We get bikes and head to the hardware store about 20 minutes away which is next to Berghain. Jan tells me once he came here on a Friday night and the queue was by Hardware store. I couldn’t even see the kilometersish long road that it originated from nearby, let alone Berghain at the far end of it. fuck me. 

We have a really nice time walking around the hardware store. I spend 116 EUR on varnish and loads of bits of metal which are going to hold the whole thing in place when it finally goes up. There are lots of hot German guys in the shop. I giggle with Jan about the staff “man: hello there, i’m looking for some chain, LED strip lighting, and steel scaffold for a frame can you help m- ____ Staff: ffs yes, we do. the gay men building slings and dungeons area is over by aisle 12, all you need is there i promise, now go away.”

He buys me a coffee and we part ways about a third of the way home on bikes.  after getting home I pop into Blackstyle *finally*  which is about 4 minutes walk from my house. My man Bjorn is there and there is no one in the store. I think my story must be a little bit of a thing at that place because he fully knew I was coming!! He told me he had seen my 13 minute long video on facebook explaining my whole story of what I had been up to over the last year!  I was amazed cosnidering the guy isnt even on facebook and i dont have his number either. He even knew that I was living on Wicherstrasse which is actually closer than any other member of blackstyle staff!! We were pissing ourselves giggling at how exciting that is- i guess martin had told him (my primary contact there). He advised me on working there- now Blackstyle do not actually hire non german speaking members of staff, but he said basically can you make a portfolio of everything  you have made and some drawings of ideas you have had, and send that and your photography stuff to thomas and he’ll help you out with some kind of an interview. Exactly what position you’ll get i’m not sure, but we might be able to find something for you to fit in to.

Other Convos: He knows my friend Liam, and I told him about how under store conditions and regulation there was that sexy time where he couldnt get into jeans and they were super tight and i tried to hep and I just ended up sucking his dick! haha 

Pretty much I spent the rest of the evening hanging out with Alis. I really like her. I can tell we’re starting to form a close friendship.   spoke to Karyn a little over WhatsApp and showed her pictures of the weekend, she super loved them and we’re all so excited to have her back from her nuts south America traveling trip. I fear writing diary entries about her cos this is all far too qualitative as it is before adding me feeling and thoughts over Karyn and the conversations and adventures we are bound to have. 

TUESDAY 27 NOVEMBER 

(TODAY) CAN I Have a medal for writing all of that, please??!?! 

So this morning I get up and tidy up my room. And at about midday SIMULTANEOUSLY  Jan  w/ Timmon arrives with all the Timber AND  my removals van full of my shit from the UK arrives. The entrance of my building is FULL of wood and boxes ALL for MY room. and omg those stairs are a cunt on the best of days.  First, it was just me and Jan, while Timon parked the car, and then it was all three of us working on getting my shit up like 8 flights of big stairs. there are two flights that separate each floor and some of the wood and boxes were seriously fucking heavy. Over the course of the day, I think I climbed the stairs about 11 or 12 times (there were shopping trips included in there too)  and my legs are still killing from it, I'm so glad I have cycled so much over the last year or i may have died.  

There were three parts of the day, part 1 was getting all the shit in and starting construction. 

PART 2 was the BURGERAMPT!!  We cycled about ten minutes down the road to the Town Hall of Prenzlauer berg. We went into this old building covered in scaffolding to the burgerampt where we sat for about 15 minutes before being seen. I swear all the old buildings in Germany are massive, the cielings are all about 18 feet high. The meeting was with really sweet blonde woman, who as per my expectation, did not speak very good English, so I was immediately glad that I brought Jan with me to translate.  Everything went smoothly, the contact Karyn emailed me was all they needed and my passports. Jan translated everything, at one point the woman asked if I had a religion and I was like no.... aber Berghain ist mein Kirche! and she giggled. She also did a really nice bit at the end which I didn’t understand a word of, but basically, she gave me ein Herzlich Willkommen zu Deutschland. 

Part 3- basically we went back and continued to construct the fuck out of room. it’s looking immense now, I am so excited. It’s costing about double what I had planned to invest though and it’s not even near finished yet. there’s still the big desk and the photo studio part to do. The shelves and the first part of the frame for the folding bed are in though. Alis calmed me telling me I have enough to survive for like 5 months until I found a stable job. I was grateful to her for calming me down there. 

Just before Jan left around 5 or 6 we had a little bit of well-deserved play time. ;)  We had a kiss and a cuddle and then our shirts were off and he was on top of me with my arms stuck behind my back with his cock in my mouth. GRRRRRR. It finished with it being the other way around, I was on top of his chest, jerking off while he sucked my balls, and before I knew it I felt the warm spray of his jizz all up the welcome patch just above my ass crack. He must have been horny cos that was pretty far too shoot- I’m hovering just above his face remember!  So yeah that’s it for now. Other notes i need to add is that i’m trying to use all the German I have whenever I can and it’s proving useful here and there. I gave a sentence or two at the burgerampt to the woman and she full on spouted german at me as if I was fluent! :D ....aber vielleicht dass spichtst mehr uber sie dann uber mich.  I’m so glad i did lessons and studied all year. I don't have a lot but I have something, and it is FAR better than nothing. 

WEDNESDAY 28 NOVEMBER

Jan came around today and basically, we proceeded to almost complete building the whole of the bedframe and shelves in my room. I haven't been sleeping properly since moving so was a bit of a zombie. 

despite feeling dead, in the evening Jan persuaded me to head to Schoneberg for my first time since moving to Berlin. I was invited round to dinner with his bf beary Timmon, this sweet Canadian cub guy called Arjhan and this huge daddy called Malcolm and his partner ...who i cant remember the name of :p timmon made a three-course meal of thai flavorings.  Notable conversations included a gay bar called Schwartz, what Berlin was like after the wall came down (apparently there were food shortages for ages), and Brexit shit.  We went out to Prinzknecht after dinner where it’s happy hour on Wednesday. I had a bit of a moment outside the bar before going in, after all, Prinzknecht is pretty much where this all began 4 years ago. When I came in 2014 for Folsom and the place was PACKED OUT far into the street even, with LeatherMen from all over I was gobsmacked. I thought I was in wonderland. It’s amazing this city is finally my home.

 While I was there I made friends with a ginger Irish bloke called Keith who I talked to about various animes for ages. My tummy was feeling rough and I couldn't drink very much, it was icky, I was burping and farting loads. ufff. Anyway, we finished off the night at Woof! for one more drink before heading home. I’d been giving Daddy Malcome eyes all night and finally, he put his hands down my pants to my ass and revealed he wanted to fuck me. Ufff sadly that wasn’t the night for it though.  I went home on the U2 subway. I’m glad I have a direct line straight from my house to Schoneberg!

THURSDAY 29 NOVEMBER

In the morning me and Jan headed out to the local flohmarkt to find a beam for my bed (cos i accidentally put my foot through one the day before, eek!) and also a ladder to access the highest shelves of the thing. The flohmarkt was gigantic, I can't remember seeing anything like it in the UK and apparently, this wasn’t even a big one. They sold everything you could need for a house, from doors and beams and pots to fine furniture, and more glassware than I’ve ever seen in my life. There were rows and rows and high shelves of it outside all gathering dust. Jan and I both agreed it was a dangerous place cos you could very easily spend a lot of money on some nice things in there. We found a ladder and a beam and went home and finished the work.  With the shelves, complete Jan went home and I had a nap.

THE HOUSE OF RED DOORS [CONSULT SEPARATE POST]

FRIDAY 30TH NOVEMBER 2018 

Flo Left at about 1 and I got up about 3.30pm. I can't remember what happened this day so im guessing not much. I definitely needed to recover. My night before was so insane I think i was just telling everyone about that all day. II told Karyna nd Chaim about it and they were pleased.  I stayed up late sanding my room and went to bed about 1AM

SATURDAY 1ST DECEMBER 2018

Cleaned the flat with Alis in the morning for the first time. Got to Jan’s about midday to collect a coffee table from him and forgot all about looking for fabric at the Turkish market to cover all my storage with. Me Arjhan and Jan borrowed bikes and checked out the Market. It was great, all pretty self-explanatory, I got black, white and green curtain fabric for like 30EUR. Also bought a new frying pan, some olives and some lemons. When cycling home we rode past the dungeon that me and Michael had spent time in on the most amazng weekend of my life here in 2017, and then straight past Vikotria Luis Platz, which is also another sacred location for me. I had tears in my eyes for sure. my backpack opened the fuck up whle cycling in that moment and i had to move on from that moment. When we got back I enjoyed some tea at Jan’s. He’s leaving on Monday to head back to Amsterdam for the next few weeks. he’ll be back again in late December. I’ll have to varnish the room while he’s away.

Had a stressful time getting the table back on the Ubahn. 

Went out with Alis and Aldina this evening. We drove to a shisha bar out east and had a drink and a puff there before heading to Suss War Gestern nearby afterwards. Sweet was yesterday is a three floor club bar, filled with cigarette smoke.  It had a techno dancefloor with cool led ceiling light display, a chill top floor and a cheese fun floor in the basement which is where we all spent the whole night dancing on a bench on the side of the wall. I actually didn't have an amazing time for most of the night. There was this nineties raver DJ set that made me lose the will to live.  I went to get a drink and eat something and when I came back they had switched to eighties electro pop classic and I was like thank god, cos im about to detonate. it really cheered me up cos so many of those songs were on my Berlin soundtrack and were songs that helped me shape the vision of what I thought moving here would be like. Not 99 luft balloons though. That will emerge at the right point I know it.  Aldina and Alis continued on to Kater Blau at about 5am but I was dead and went home. Fucking Ost Kreuz has platforms coming out of platforms and I nearly fudged getting home. 

SUNDAY 2 NOVEMBER

The main event of today was the Leather Social in Schonberg. I’ve been to this once before when I was here in may visiting for Michael.  It’s a 6 floor flat and this time it was filled with about 20-30 sexy leathermen. Mickael had invited me and I had a really nice time. Mario who I had met at Qaulgeist in April was there and I had a sexy kiss with him and we agreed I need to see the inside of his playroom sometime soon. Oink! The man looks like a dirty sexy older piggy, you know he can do some remarkable things with his hands. the other cutie I got the recon of was a hot beary german skinhead called Stefan, and he’s into bondage and similar activities to me. I met a fashion photographer there called Alex [from birgmingham] and he was telling me about working for Zolando. He gave me his instagram and basically said to message him with any questions. There was this drunk idiot called Simon who wanted to be all dom toppy to me but ended up knocking over my fucking beer (i put the next one on his tab (asshole)) and also he half kicked over a coffee table while throwing me around. Uff I'm getting bored of drunk “dom tops” they just make a fucking mess.  Connected with my lovely mate David who was one of the leather friends I was really looking forward to reconnecting with when i got to Berlin. I also Spoke to the host of the party about photography and before i knew it I had a decent iPhone and was coralling people into groups to take photos for the social media. 

We all took a short walk to new action later and drunk some more. Prakash, the host said it was funny that i appeared to do photos because in the group meeting they had they were just deciding they needed a photographer to help advance the social. We spoke of magic, and i told the story of how my ex-overdosed at my leaving party and the real magic was that no one else was there to be traumatised or take his bullet. Towards the end of the night, I grabbed the bartender’s attention and said something like “I have just moved to Berlin, and I guess I have always wondered what it would be like to work in one of the leather bars here. soo are you looking for staff?” and he said basically yes, they are always looking for new people and you don't have to speak amazing german. 

[darkcloud-kcalifornia]

Right, don’t have energy to spare after work so let’s do this before work as I’ve got closing shift today.  It’s time for more Nanoha.  No screenshots this time as I’m gonna be watching this on the TV as my couch is far more comfy than my chair.  But enough of needless details, it’s time for me to talk needlessly about details in Nanoha StrikerS episode 18, “Wings, Once Again”.

* Oh hey, new opening. Would be nice if they bothered to subtitle this, but Amazon is kinda lazy about things like that.

* The press is on the prowl! And the TSAB is being rather tight-lipped about the whole thing.  That might actually be for the best.  The last thing they want getting out is that a mad scientist kicked their collective butts and is willing to do work for hire.

* Oh gee, would you look at that, Regius was funding the Doc and there was a sudden yet inevitable betrayal. This is my shocked face.

* Regius’ assistant Auris is nowhere to be seen, because unlike Regius she has more work to do than just sit in an office and scream at people.

* Teana is relieved by Signum so she can visit the injured (mainly Subaru) in the hospital, and Nanoha-mama is trying to drown the pain and worry in work.  Oh sure, she won’t say that’s what she’s doing, but it’s what she’s doing.

* Ooh, Nanoha just found Vivio’s burned and torn bunny. Yeah, she ain’t reacting well to that.

* Over in the hospital Shari is tearfully apologizing to Fate for failing to stop the army of robots, fembots, and summoner girl with the big bugs.  I don’t think anybody expected her to personally stand up to that much.

* Looks like the worst injuries were sustained by Zafira, Rein (GRRRRRR!!!!), and Vice.  None of them are in critical condition at this point, but Vice and Zafira at least aren’t going to be getting up anytime soon.  And we still haven’t seen Subaru’s condition after having the flesh torn from her arm and all that.  Really, if she wasn’t a cyborg they might have had to give her a replacement anyway.

* Well Subaru’s acting like things aren’t a big deal and she’s moving her arm, but there’s a definite mechanical sound as she does so, and the nerve cables were injured so she can’t move it around particularly well.  I wonder where she’d get replacement parts for that kind of thing anyway?  It sort of brings back the speculation from last time of “regular replacements or nanomachines”.

* Apparently it must be Nanomachines, because Subaru is expected to recover in a few days.

* Caro and Erio decide to the other two must want soup, i.e. give the two a little alone time. Normally I’d be making winky faces over that but I’m pretty sure this is going to be a more serious conversation.

* Tea doesn’t try to spare Subaru’s feelings when she blames herself for bad decisions made during the fight.  It was a mistake to rush ahead and get into more than she could handle, even if she did make one heck of a showing for herself.  Nothing like tough love.  But she also reassures Subaru that they’re going to act as a team to get them back for this and rescue Ginga and Vivio while nailing Jail to the wall.  If he’s lucky, that will be metaphorical.  If he’s unlucky, Nanoha will want to discuss her feelings on the matter.

* While Hayate grills Auris about what Regius has been up to, Fate and Nanoha are asking Nakajima about his family, what with the whole “actually cyborgs” thing.

* Hmm… some interesting stuff here.  The cyborg project was actually several ones that dated back to before the founding of the TSAB, and multiple worlds were trying to figure it out.  There was only a real breakthrough about 25 years ago. Chrono also mentions that this isn’t the only thing mechanical and biotechnology has been used for, as apparently the TSAB makes use of artificial bones and organs.  Goodness knows we could use that kind of tech.  Heck, my dad is going in for spinal injections Monday because he’s missing a disc and they can’t actually replace it, just try and bring the swelling down.

* Oh, and apparently problems with rejecting the organs still pop up, so they haven’t solved that one yet. At least the sane scientists haven’t. The mad ones however figured out how to do so.  They actually change the cyborgs genes to accept the mechanical parts as a part of the body.  That seems ludicrously complicated and prone to failure, plus was something that had to do before the test subjects were even born.

* Nakajima’s wife was a TSAB investigator who was handling the early crop of combat cyborgs that were rampaging all crazy, and Ginga and Subaru are two of them that they decided to adopt because they weren’t having much luck the natural way.  That and the two kinda looked like they could belong to them anyway.  They tried to raise them as normally as possible with the TSAB doing the occasional bit of maintenance on their bodies, until Mrs. Nakajima died on a secret mission and dad decided the girls were old enough to know the truth.

* After that Nakajima has been pursuing cases involving combat cyborgs on his own, and thinks Hayate is a bit sneaky for dropping a line about how her current project might end up involving them so he’d play ball.  Not that she was wrong, mind you.  They’ve got more of the things than they can handle right now.

* Hayate confronts Auris about the fact that Regius had approved of combat cyborgs and artificial mages being used by the TSAB in the past, only to get shut down because of costs and ethics.  As it’s apparent that Regius doesn’t care about ethics in the slightest Hayate wants confirmation that he was having the research continued in secret.

* Auris’ defense is Regius’ seniority and counterfactual whataboutism.  I swear this show was prescient.  Anyway, when that doesn’t work to deter Hayate Auris resorts to “get a warrant or piss off”.

* Ooh, turns out there’s to be an immediate inquiry into Regius and his other pet project is being shut down.  Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving man… in this particular fictional universe.

* Holy crap, the picture of Zest that the security cameras captured managed to scare Regius into an actual heart attack!  Somebody knows they’re in trouble.

* Speaking of Zest, he’s possibly not as much of a threat as Regius thinks as he’s out in the woods vomiting blood.  Agito is acting as his nurse and freaking out, though he says the attack has passed for the moment.

* Uno calls him up while Agito leaves to make medicine, and also comments on the fact that he looks like hell.  Zest isn’t concerned about that.  He states that he isn’t of much use nor is he going to get in their way.  Uno lets slip to the viewers that Zest is an artificial mage, which might be the reason for the guy having the hate he does for Regius and Jail.  Zest makes another interesting claim, that he’s already died before and this is just a temporary reprieve before going back into his grave.  Does this mean the Doc was experimenting on corpses as well?  ‘Cause if so that’s make Zest a lich, which is kinda awesome.  Though it could just be that he considers his old self dead after a near death followed by capture and experimentation.

* It seems that the beating Cinque and Ginga took were enough to require the both of them to require extensive repairs.  Nove wants to kill Subaru and Tea for that, but Quattro reminds her that they need Subaru alive.

* And now we’ve learned why Lutecia is working for the Doc.  Apparently he’s got her mom in a tube, and she can only be brought back with Relic XI. Supposedly.  Lutecia actually doesn’t recognize the woman in the tube, she’s just been told that’s her mom.

* Sweet!  Hayate decided that for the time being Riot Force 6 would benefit from having a more mobile base that’s big enough for the members live in, so they’re taking the Arthra out of storage and putting her to use one last time.

* That night Fate has to comfort Nanoha over the kidnapping of Vivio.  Nanoha might have put on a brave face in front of the kids and TSAB staff, but she is not taking this well at all.  Fate reassures her that Vivio is fine right now.  The Doc wouldn’t actually do anything to hurt her.

* So of course the episode ends with Vivio on an operating table screaming for her mama as Jail prepares to inject her with a Relic, saying she is going to be his masterpiece.

 Well that’s the end of that. This episode appears to have mostly been about recovering from the previous couple, as well as informing everybody on how things came to be like this.  Not the best episode if you don’t like exposition, but there was some interesting new info there.  And it does a very good job of showing just how scummy both Jail and Regius are.  After all, they’ve been working together. Gotta love the implication that Regius had Subaru’s mother killed for getting too close, and also showing that Jail is not only willing to experiment on terrified children, but that he’ll do so with a smile on his face.