#anyway. will update as necessary but for now that’s about it!
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amethystfairy1 · 1 day ago
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Regarding the Iskall Situation...
I've received a lot of asks wondering about what my take is on it, and since I'd prefer to have it all taken care of in one swoop so we don't have to continue to focus on it, here's my stance on the subject.
A: Yes, I have seen the credible evidence from Kasszki, I read the doc they posted, and I feel awful for them and the other victims that they had to deal with this. I'm glad to hear that the Hermits and others were supportive of them and helped them handle this situation in as professional a manner as possible. I have also seen the credible information from False that Stress left for her own separate reasons.
B: I strongly denounce Iskall's behavior, and I have absolutely zero intention of supporting him as a creator ever again.
C: Please don't pester the creators or the victims. I said it in my initial response to this situation before we knew what had happened, but my opinion remains the same here. Any information we get from the Hermits is a privilege, not a right. Hermitcraft and it's associated fandoms are well known for being healthy, good spaces, and I'm proud to be a member of this community. Now our money is where our mouths are. Please don't feed into the rumor mill, please continue to support the Hermits as you always would and don't pry or demand more details from them. This is a very difficult situation for all of us, and I'm certain it's even worse for all of them. Please keep in mind the Hermits are all grown adults, many of them had professional careers before they joined Hermitcraft, and they are handling this in as professional a manner as they are able. I applaud them for that. As their fans, we need to do the same.
What are my plans for Iskall and Stress in TTSBC?
Understandably, I've received several asks about what I plan to do about Iskall and Stress's characters in TTSBC. I've answered them individually, but I just want to put this here as a one-stop spot for what my stance is so it's clear.
I've always been a 'character not content creator' author. My characters are just that, characters. Does that mean I can completely remove them from the creators upon which they are based? No, of course not. That's not how this works, either. So here's my plan moving forward.
The two stories that heavily feature Iskall in TTSBC, "Run with It' and "Carry me Home Tonight" will remain up. They are timestamped with their dates of posting which was long before any of this came out, and again, they are very clearly meant to be characters, not the creators.
Iskall will be removed from the TTSBC: Wiki, and I will not be writing any new content for his character.
Does that affect the plot of TTSBC? Yes, it does. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't, and those of you who have followed the series at length can likely see where the issues arise...but I'm an author, and I can pivot. I also have an awesome little team behind me of @silver-sunray, @boo-the-ahh, and @khoirkid who are helping me to make sure TTSBC carries on smoothly despite this unforeseen struggle.
Stress will not be removed from the TTSBC: Wiki. As I mentioned in an ask earlier, her role in the story is very minor, and I hadn't planned for her to have any other pieces to herself outside of Hermit-a-Day May anyway...so aside from specific instances where it might be necessary to mention her, she will not be making any more major appearances. This is mainly because I'm a Hermit/Traffic/Empires writer, and I plan to stick to that notion unless future events cause me to pivot otherwise.
Lastly, I would appreciate if we could avoid anymore asks about the situation. If there are any further updates I'm sure I'll find that out on my own, I'm very active in this fandom and I see things pretty quickly when they spread, so if any new things related to this situation spring up, while I greatly appreciate your concern for me and my work, please don't send it to my inbox or in DM.
I'm very saddened by this, as I'm sure many of you are. Hermitcraft and it's associated fandoms have been my safe space for many years, through some of the hardest moments of my life, and with the mess that MCYT has proven itself to be at times, it felt like we were untouchable here. But like Doc said, the Hermits are good, and they are strong. And as their fans and supporters, we need to be the same.
Be good, be strong, and let's make sure our lovely community continues to be the positive space it always has been.
-Amethyst
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sleepy-steve · 4 months ago
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cirajay on ao3 • lesbian • gadigal land, always was, always will be
corporate girlie by day • pole dancer by night • writer where i can fit it in between
minors dni • some nsfw present • SWerfs, terfs, and zionists fuck off
header by stervrucht • icon by manic-eddie
♡ tags for my writing below ♡
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🦇 eddie munson big bang (batgate) // snippets
🏴 undead x ferryman // pt 1, pt 2, pt 3
💔 steddie angsty august fic // day 8, day 9, day 10
✨ secret project with @stervrucht // snippets
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⛓️ (pray) ‘til i go blind // ao3 // 4k // M // modern au, metal burlesque performer eddie, audience participant steve
☁️ why are you never real? // ao3 // 6k // E // cw: mild suicidal ideation, prompt: ghosts, post-s4, dream haunting
🖤 please, please, please // ao3 // 2k // M // eddie is obsessed with steve, yearning and pining, introspective
🩹 trust // ao3 // 2.5k // T // hate crime, wound care, eddie whump, protective steve, first kiss
💫 north star // ao3 // 2k // G // eddie in WITSEC, phone calls, mutual pining, angst w happy ending
i use my likes for bookmarks + stuff to remember for later, so if i liked and didn’t rb, that’s why :~)
prev url: kenm-akozume (this used to be a haikyuu!! blog)
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pirefyrelight · 1 month ago
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you ever just wish you could start your life over as easy as it is to in minecraft.
#pire.txt#I'm looking at my passwords document that I've had since forever#my youtube gmail name was made when I was like 11#I have a hundred different accounts on different websites some are necessary some aren't#I want to change all my passwords not just because that's what you're supposed to do regularly anyway#but I was recently convinced by that one xkcd about using a string of words you can remember instead of random gibberish you can't#and in doing so I can 1. not rely on password managers like firefox and my phone (which is google I think) and write it on physical paper#and 2. actually memorize the more commonly used ones probably#additionally I want to change the emails associated with all the accounts- or at least the ones I care about- to a completely new address#that isn't absolutely flooded with spam since I was 12#and maybe create a few email addresses so theres like a professional/personal ones that use my real name#and then a throwaway for the accounts that I don't give a shit about after their confirmation emails after I sign up#which I started doing at one point but didn't actually solve the problem since my original email was still flooding with spam#and every time I open my password manager I just want to go do literally anything else#like go play minecraft#but minecraft has gone through like 4 different content updates since I last played#which means even if I went back to my old server they've probably done a few season wipes of the map by now#I'd be starting fresh and honestly this account mess would be so much easier to handle if I could just restart the whole process completely#Why couldn't I have just done it right from the start?#[new world]
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couthbbg · 6 months ago
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sorry to randomly drop in your inbox like this but gossip is important and helps maintain a functioning society i feel so strongly about this!!!!
I love people randomly dropping into my inbox!!! Especially when they agree with me 😂😂 but literally like. how else am I supposed to know anything!!! for this situation I really feel like it’s a positivity/purity culture going too far 😭 like there’s a way to talk about people in our shared lives and the goings on without like being bullies or negative or ?? Idk ajsjs also . if people do genuinely morally reprehensible things I should be allowed to talk about how morally reprehensible they are without that in and of itself becoming the crime !!!!!!
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werewolfetone · 10 months ago
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Lying on my bed giggling kicking my legs thinking abt the changes I just made to my oc lore
#wall of the text in these tags im warning u.#read smth interesting which vaguely inspired me + changing the way i write the entire craig family but esp. frederick... feel as though the#way his situation was depicted before was inappropriately like... light? wrt the fact that fundamentally his arc is about a child falling#in with a hate group and then developing psychic powers out of guilt. it does not make sense in context btw. but in any case i don't like#the way i was handling it before so im changing the way it's written!!! thinking i can do it more realistically now!!!#+ also im making major changes to the family's make up. before it was sarah + frederick & annie + f&a's Evil Uncle + their father who left#to find work + their dead bio mother + sarah's dead husband + sarah's kids. is now s + f&a + Evil Uncle + father who just ran off with his#gf w/o warning them forcing them to move + s' dead BOYFRIEND who she was never married to + dead mum is the same + s' sole kid with her bf#+ the kid who she had with the Evil Uncle. this will further fuck them up which is good as this is necessary for the story to work At All#there is a very good chance many of the other families will also get an update soon including the breen family + wilbur's family... which i#have not even thought about beyond the fact that he has one...#anyway i dont know why im talking about this in the tags. keep my oc insanity contained on the sideblog i specifically made to contain it#challenge -- impossible!#ocs#jory.txt
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thestarlightindex · 4 months ago
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god its weird being gone for a year
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headspace-hotel · 2 months ago
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The doctor appointment update
The appointment went well. I felt like the doctor empathized with me and was very sensitive to my feelings and needs. She was very clear on the fact that it is always my choice about what to do with my body and seems willing to give me time to decide on things and to adapt for what would make me comfortable
She has gone ahead and put me on a birth control pill, and she is going to follow up in six weeks to see if I want to do more tests. She recommends doing blood work to make sure the menstrual irregularity is not the machination of a traitorous thyroid, but i don't have to worry about it for now and if it's something i am interested in she will prescribe a one-time anti-anxiety pill.
If I want to investigate if I have PCOS or something else going on she would recommend doing an abdominal ultrasound, that would work perfectly fine and anything more invasive would not be necessary and she would not do it with someone who has never been sexually active anyway.
It sounds as if the problems with bleeding for a long time are not really anything to worry about outside of the effects of the bleeding itself. It could be linked to extreme stress, also Covid-19 often causes menstrual irregularity including bleeding for extended periods, and she sees a lot of people who started to have this problem after contracting Covid.
I do remember that when I got Covid I immediately started a really heavy, painful period. It's really weird that this is one of Covid's long term effects on the body.
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myladysapphire · 3 months ago
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Two Halves of a whole
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Aemond had always understood you in ways others could not, your bond so deep nothing could severe it. A bond so deep that they would do anything to save the other, even if it meant being trapped with the enemy.
based of this request
word count: 6,208
cw: MDI+, 18+, Smut, Angst, fluff, love conffessions, arranged marraige, cheating. (im so sorry Cregan i love you i swear), not proofread!
Aemond Targaryen x twinsister!reader (or Creaganswife!reader)
dividers by @zaldritzosrose
authors note: so sorry i haven’t updated in two weeks! ive been in such a writting slump but here is finally some work! <3
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Aemond had always understood you in ways now one else had.
Born together, you had never seen the day apart. Your lessons spent together, your rooms shared until you where three and ten.
And even then that did not stop you form spending every moment together.
You were so similar, not only where you twins but it was almost as If you where the same person, two halves of a whole.
You were kind, where he was cruel.
Your were beautiful where he seemed himself ugly, no matter the words you spoke to call him otherwise.
Where he was bold, you where shy.
And where you thrived, he drowned.
But something shifted the day Aemond claimed Vaghar.
You had both been dragon less, teased for it and faced the constant bullying of your older brother and nephews.
you had spent days talking and studying dragons, and where Aemond started to loose hope, and yet you pushed him to believe he could claim a dragon.
And he did, the biggest and most fearsome dragon in the world.
And you were left behind in the process.
That night, no one told you of what had transpired until you were dragged from your bed and greeted with the bleeding face of your twin brother.
Your house divided, and your brother a changed man.
Form that day he became cruel and cunning, hellbent on being the best swordsman. the best dragon rider. Skilled and wise.
And though you where there for it all, helping him and watching. It was all from the sidelines. As if you only mattered when he was involved.
that’s what your family thought anyway.
Until you became of marital age, and your father decided a alliance with the north was necessary.
You had always thought you would marry Aemond, and yet here you where on your way to winterfell about to marry a stranger you had never met.
Your nephew Jace had talked of him often, recounting his days spent in Winterfell. And though he  sounded honourable and kind, you feared what it would be like to be apart fork Aemond, the man who was truly the other half of you.
even after years of drifting apart he was still everything to you.                                                                                                
“are you excited, aunt?” Jace asked, he and the rest of your family where all accompany your north, using the journey as a tour of Westeros.
“As one can be to be marrying a stranger I suppose” you mused, looking out of the window.
Whilst your siblings all rode their dragons around Westeros, you were forced to ride with your nephews and cousins, with dragons too small to withstand the long journeys.
“Cregan stark is a good man, I’m sure you with have a good marriage” Baela spoke, looking up from her book.
You scoffed, “so everyone has met him but me?” you mumbled to yourself, shifting uncomfortably.
“I always thought you would marry Aemond” Rhanea spoke up, she and you had strike a surprising friendship, despite her distaste for Aemond. Your common lack and want for a dragon bonding you both.
“As did I” you spoke longingly, looking up and seeing the shape of Vaghar in the distance.  
The rest of the journey was spent with minimal words spoken, and your eyes never leaving Vaghars form.
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Ever since they announced your betrothal Aemond had been distant, still ever present as he was, but distant.
The day he had found out he had stormed out of his rooms and ignored you for the remainder of the day.
And though the day after he had carried out your old routine, it seemed different, strained.
Though Aemond was never a talker, he was never silent around you. If he didn’t respond with words, he responded with actions. Whether it be brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, caressing your hand, or bringing you flowers.
But since then, the casual touches or small gifts of flowers or your favourite snack or bringing you a book he thought you’d enjoy, stopped.
Conversation was strained, always ending on an awkward note, and when you had wished to confront him on it you had found he had gone to the silk of streets with Aegon.
You felt hurt, betrayed almost and yet it was you who was marrying another, leaving him behind, even if you had no choice in the fact.
And the tour had been even worse.
Your days spent in a carriage alongside people you hardly knew, with Jace and Luke the very boys who had once teased your mercilessly. The very people who had caused Aemond so much pain and even harsher words in the past years.
And yet you were forced to put on a pretty smile and put up with their chatter. Though had no quells with Rhaena, finding many conversation flows easy with her.
You felt all alone, stranded in a marriage yet to happen and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
The journey around Westeros was as long as it weas boring, full of lords trying their hardest to appease you father, spoiling you all with gifts and pretty words.
You were grateful once you started to visit the northern houses, they were honest, less kind, less welcoming and less inclined to spoil you with meaningless gifts.
It took six months, six months of travelling of Aemond being distant and eventually ignoring you altogether before you reached Winterfell. And met Cregan stark.
And though you could tell he was a good man and that there was no way to deny he wasn’t handsome, he wasn’t Aemond.
You got along well, though every smile or laugh was met with Aemond’s glare. His disapproving stare. His harsh words and even harsher steps as he followed you both through the halls.
He hadn’t said a word to you, but made sure you new his anger.
Even as he watched you walk down the aisle in the godswood and take Cregan as your lord husband.
After that day you felt perpetually lost, as if you had lost the other part of you, that you were never whole.
Perhaps it was because Aemond had left without so much as a goodbye, or that now there was no chance of you and Aemond getting what you both wanted.
Two years passed, two years in the north as Cregan’s wife, a babe born and not a single word or letter from Aemond.
You felt stranded in the north, with no dragon nor any dragon rider offering you an escape. Any letters took weeks to arrive, any news arriving long after the fact.
You heard little from anyone frankly, that’s why it was such a surprise to see your nephew Jace once more.
“Jace?” you questioned, as you walked into the great hall. He sat beside Cregan, clearly having spent the night.
You were shocked, no one had told you of his arrival.
“Aunt” he greeted in turn, his voice kind as he greeted you.
“What are you doing here?” you said, as you approached where they sat.
He looked over to Cregan, shocked you didn’t know he was here. “Your father…Viserys is dead”
“oh” you said, not feeling any emotion in particular. He had never been a father too you, always distant, treating you more like a cousin child, than his own. “did he- was it peaceful?”
“I don’t know” he said, as you finally took your seat beside him, “we had left Kings Landing before-“
“Is that why your here? My fathers death?”
Jace looked over to Cregan an awkwardly, “Aegon usurped my mother, I have been sent to remind the north of their oath.”
Aegon being king wasn’t a surprise, your mother and grandsire had been plotting for years to crown him since he was born. If anything, you were shocked that Jace seemed surprised by the betrayal, as if the court hadn’t been treating Aegon as heir for years.
“And as I told the prince, the north remembers” Cregan said looking over to you, his tone serious. “we pledge our loyalty to the queen”
“and if war comes with you plunge your sword into my brothers back, husband?”
“if it comes it it, aye”
You looked down and remained quite through the remainder of Jace’s stay, keeping to yourself, as you always did.
The harsh realisation that your husband would so easily kill your brothers hurt, even if they were traitors and usurpers.
You had never felt whole since Aemond left and you knew a part of you chipped away the longer he was gone, the longer he punished you with his silence.
And then news came, Luke was dead at the hands of Aemond. And you felt apart of you break.
The realisation that Aemond would not survive this war without erasing the entirety of Rhaenrya’s line.
You felt more stuck than ever.
Stuck with a husband plotting a war were the allegiance was split.
You had married Cregan in hope of uniting the north to the greens. But of course the loyal house stark would never wavier form their oath, even if it meant a wife forced to watch as her kin was murdered.
You hated this war, and it had yet to start.
You had been left in charge of Winterfell in your husbands absence, and you felt even more lonely without him. The one person who you had felt some stability from.
Your dreams was filled with blood and death, fear of what was to come. And yet another dream chased you. Flashes of blue flames, ice eyes and cold scales. A song sung through your mind, it had no words or melody, it was as if it were a secret language only your dreams could understand.
A storm raged on, leaving you locked inside and a feeling a dread filling your bones.
You couldn’t escape the nagging feeling, the feeling like something was very wrong.
You could scarcely see outside the window, let alone leave the keep. The snow thick and relentless, and yet you could make out a figure ever so slightly.
A dragon.
Large and far away, your mind hoped it was Aemond, though he would be a fool to travel north, especially in this storm.
And yet it seemed to pale, not nearly as monstrous or large.
It called to you, your eyes following if, unable to tear themselves away from the dragon.
Had it not been the call of your name from your maid, Lyra, you were sure you would have chased after it, its song luring you to were ever its layer sat.
“my lady” she started, her demeanour nervous
“what is it?” you questioned, finally pulling your eyes away from the creature.
“you have a visitor”
“who-“ your words were cut off as your twin strolled in, his yes firm, a hand gripping his sword “Aemond”  you breathed, your hand gripping at your chest.
“sister” he greeted.
You sent a look to lyra, sending her running, though she seemed relived at the dismal.
“my husband is not here”
“good”
“he pledged for Rhaenrya”
His gaze hardened, a smile gracing his lips “you betray your own kin”
You scoffed “me betray? You are the one who has not spoken a word to me since the day i was married, no letter no word! Even Aegon wrote me and yet you my own twin, the very man i have loved and been with since the day we were born, betrays me without a word all because I am shipped of in a marriage you very well knew I did not want! If anyone has betrayed the other it is you”
His gaze fell, his smirk falling, “you choose him-“
“by the gods! I had no say”
His eyes dropped their firm, “no…mother said you had chosen him and rejected my bid” “your bid? You bid for my hand?” you scoffed once more, “do you think that if I knew I had a choice I would have come crying, begging for your help?”
He seemed you look at you, look at you for the first time in years, his yes boring into you in a way you did not realise you missed.
Aemond had always been selifish and cruel, a man who only believed his opinion to be the truth and yet with you he was patient and kind, and though you saw a glimpse of the man others did see, you knew he was still the Aemond you had long knew.
Though the fact remained, as it stood you were on opposing sides of this war, and with no dragon and your son the heir to house stark, you were powerless to change sides.
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But as he looked at you, and as you heard to coo of your son as he sat in his crib your mind went back to the day your life changed and Aemond drifted apart.
You knew the day was coming, word had been circling around court, suitors from throughout the realm had come to bid for your hand.
Though you in truth you only wanted one man, your twin Aemond.
It wasn’t wrong for you to assume that you and he would marry, it was within the custom of your house, you had always been close and he had practically been courting you for years.
With gifts an-d days spent walking the gardens, with soft words and caresses.
Though he never made his intentions clear, you were sure he was of the same mind of you.
And yet days spent whining about the men hellbent on following you, with cheesy words of love and gifts you already had too may off. It was all impersonable and endlessly repetitive. And Aemond never uttered a word. Simply nodding his head in what you hoped was silent contempt.
and yet your mother had summoned you to her chambers, a sombre expression on her face.
“daughter” she greeted, a soft smile as she reached for your hand.
The feeling of dread encompassed you, your face pale and stricken as she ushered you to sit.
“an offer has been made, one your father could not refuse” she started, her hand caressing yours, “one with house stark…lord Cregan Stark has made a bid and your father has accepted.”
You swallowed, your head dropping.
“I know your heart bid for another…but this is the way of the realm, and lord Cregan is a good man, your- Rhaenrya’s son knows him well.” She spoke the last part hesitantly.
“when?”
“we leave in a moons turn”
You nodded your head, standing quickly you nodded your head as your turn to leave, the tears already threatening to fall from your eyes.
You had ran to Aemond’s rooms, his chambers adjacent to yours.
Your eyes were filled with tears, your face red and your breaths short.
He breathed your name, coming up to hold your face in his hands.
“I am to be married” you breathed through shallow breaths.
Aemond held his breath.
“mother…mother has said I shall marry…Lord Cregan Stark” you stuttered out, and Aemond back away from you, his hand dropping as if your face was fire.
“what?” he muttered harshly, “out of all your…suitors, him?”
“I had little say…I alw-“  you cut yourself of as you saw the look on Aemond’s face.
With you Aemond had always had patience, been kind where he was usually curel, his face never harsh or firm but now…now he seemed to hold the anger of the sun as he looked at you, as if he had been betrayed, as if he was the one being made to marry a man thousands of leagues away, a man you had never met.
“please Aemond” you begged, trying to move towards him once more.
You were unsure of what you were begging for.
Whether it was to help you get out of this betrothal or to marry him instead, but Aemond scoffed and sent you a glare that would send anyone else running.
“what do you want? Hmm?” he began, stalking over to you, “to help you out of it? Or what claim a dragon so that you might escape?” he said, his tone mocking.
“what is with you!” you spoke through tears, “why are you being so cruel?”
“cruel?” he scoffed once more, “you are the one being cruel!”
“how?! I had no choice!”
“you had every choice” he seethed, “and yet you continuously turn a blind eye to the right choice!”
“what choice? you think I had any choice in this?” you scoffed, “gods! Heleana had no say, even Rhaenyra had little say in her first husband and yet you think I got to choose?” tears were falling from your eyes but for an entirely different reason, you felt betrayed, the one person you knew or had thought you could trust with all your heart had betrayed you. Had made you lose all trust, and made you feel alone.
A feeling that had followed you for moons, even the following years that were to come. As he grew more and more distant, no more gifts or walks, days spent in each other’s company and now they were spent listening to your nephew trying to sell your future husband. Your mother and planning your wedding.
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You felt like you had lost Aemond In his entirety and yet here he stood before you, claiming you a traitor.
“why are you here?” you breathed, trying to forget the words he had said.
“for you” he spoke, straightening his stance as you walked towards your sons crib.
“for me? What of Rickon? Hmm?” you said, bouncing your six month of son in your arms. “he is the heir to Winterfell and his father fights for your enemies, you expect me to leave with you? To abandon my home?”
“your home?” he huffed, “last we spoke, you hated it here.”
“last we spoke was two years ago, opinions change especially in years apart”
“so what? You will stay in here in the cold, damp, baren land that is the north?”
“in favour of what?” you questioned genuinely, leaving the north would gain you nothing, instead you would lose the comforts of a husband and your son his birthright.
“you know…I always assumed we would wed” Aemond began, a small gasp left your throat, “and so you will wed me, your son will be Aegon’s heir until you and I have a son of our own”
“what…I am already married-“
“to a man I shall kill myself”
“Aemond! Gods you are mad! You speak of a life this war will never offer us!” you shook your head, “I- I cannot leave here, not for a life you cannot guarantee, especially after years of neglect over something I could not control”
“so you are a traitor”
“I pledge to no one, I care not for the throne especially if the fight is between Aegon and Rhaenyra” you spoke “I have no means to fight in this war for either side, and I do not desire to…if that is what you want…for me to leave my home for no reason other than an empty promise for a life we will never live then I must tell you to leave”
“leave?” he said bewildered, unbelieving you would send him away so quickly.
“you can stay the night or until the storm clears up, but I will here no more of this war or of your fantasy you have suddenly conjured up” A fantasy you had long desired yourself, had craved for him to desire it to. And now you were offered it, it seemed unreachable now. A war in its way, a war started by him and only one ending could grant you this fantasy, an ending to messy and deadly.
“I will go now” he spoke harshly, sending you a single glance before he took his leave.
That night the storm raged harsher, and sleep evaded you.
The storm did not stop raging once and for the first time since Driftmark you feared for your brothers life.
You stared out your window once more, trying to find the familiar shape of Vaghar, and yet you saw nothing.
Your eyes closed as you hoped, prayed that he had manged to get out of the storm.
But instead of a prayer you heard the song, the singing of that dragon once more.
Opening your eyes, you instantly found its shape, its wings flying through the sky as if the storm was nothing, its song enticing you to follow it, to find were it sat.
Grabbing your cloak and your boats you were quick to sneak from the castle, with no one questioning the steps of their lady, even less when you made a hopeful glance to where you were told Vaghar had landed. Hoping Aemond had chosen to wait out the storm.
But the typical stubborn man had left, mostly likely gotten himself stranded on some cliff.
As you left the walls of Winterfell, your sight blinded by snow, you were guided by the dragons song, a song that grew louder and louder as you went deeper into the wolfs woods.
You had been hunting here on a few occasions, never alone and always at Cregan’s side.
The trees dwarfed the sky the further you went, and yet there was a clearing amongst the trees, leaving a trail of discarded leaves and twigs, snow parted by what could only be a tail.
The trail lead to a cave, encased with snow and yet here the song stopped and the familiar smell of dragon began.
You had not know of caves in these woods, then again you had long strayed from the trail others took, and perhaps the word of a dragon had made this corner of the woods scarce.
With hesitance you entered the cave, with no sword nor light, simply will.
The cave was empty, bar what seemed to be a cliff, leading below.
Had there not been the unrelenting scent of dragon you would have turned back and yet, you climbed down, down rugged rocks only to turn and be meet with an ice cold bolt shotting from the dragons mouth.
A roar filled the room, alongside ice cold blue flame.
The dragon you had only seen from a distance lay facing you, its stare made to intimidate.
You left out a breath at the sight of her.
She was so different yet similar to the dragons you had grown up seeing.
She tilted her head, assessing you, before she nudged you.
Whether it was playfully or an attempt to get you to leave you did not now.
And yet you continued to step forward.
“lykirī” You spoke softly, walking towards the dragon hand raised, “lykirī” your hand reached forward, touching the dragon’s snout softly. She was warm and yet freezing under your palm, so different from the hot scales you were used to under the touch of your siblings dragons.
“nyke ryptan aōha vāedar” you started, softly stroking her, “īles gevie…iksā gevie”
I heard your song… it was beautiful… you are beautiful.
A soft grumbled left the dragons lips.
“iksin ziry syt nyke? aōha vāedar?” you swore she nodded her head.
Was it for me? Your song?
“gōntan ao brōzagon syt nyke?” you whispered, moving down her snout and towards her back, the place a saddle usual sat.
did you call for me?
“eman dreamt hen ao, ryptan aōha vāedar syt jēdri. se yet mirre bisa jēda īlē paktot gō ñuha pungos”
i have dreamt of you, heard your song for years...and yet all this time you were right under my nose.
The dragon shook her head softly, turning to face you as if to urge you up upon her back.
You swallowed roughly as you climbed upon her wing and then her back. she was larger than your brothers dragon Sunfyer, you would even wager larger than dreamfyer, and yet she was younger, her eyes softer and scales thinner. Her fire, or ice, however was strong, perhaps even stronger than Caraxes.
You settled upon her back, holding onto her scales, and before you could utter a word, she took flight.
“daor” you muttered, “dohaerās” you spoke, your hands gripping tightly as you urged her to serve. “Paez”
No…serve…slow
The storm still raged, you were blinded as the snow pelted your eyes, and yet your dragon seemed unfazed.
She circled the woods in what seemed to be glee.
Showing of tricks that left you praying to the gods as you gripped onto her horns for dear life.
And then you heard a roar.
An old and ancient roar.
“jikagon ūndegon” you urged.
Go see
She flew through the sky at a rapid place before the sight of Vaghar became clear, she lay stranded on the lonely hills, covered in snow and Aemond lay beside her.
“elēnās” you commanded, urging our dragon to bank.
Jumping of her back you rushed towards Aemond, his body cold and shivering.
“Aemond…gods” you whispered, “I told you to stay the night!” you near screamed, trying to urge him awake, and yet he seemed unresponsive to your words.
“Vaghar jikagon, jurnegon syt shelter” you screamed, as you made moves to drag Aemond towards your dragon.
Vaghar go, search for shelter
The old dragon seemed to rumble at your words her gaze following you as you near threw Aemond body on top of the dragon, a dragon you decided very well needed a name.
You were scared to take flight once more, with nothing but your arms to hold onto the dragon and Aemond.
“gods” you muttered, your eyes blinded once more by snow. “sagon qucik se gīda” you commanded, pulling Aemond to your chest and below the winter coat you wore, your hands gripping your dragon, as you commanded her onwards.
Be quick and calm
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The flight to Winterfell seemed short, though worry racked through you as Aemond’s breaths grew shorter.
You landed rather ungracefully in the godswood, a landing that seemed to awake the whole castle as you were greeted with the entirety of your staff, your maid, Lyra rushing towards you a blanket in hand.
“my lady” she muttered rushing towards you, only to gasp at the sight of Aemond as you struggle to carry him.
“Gunther, Torren” you shouted for your guards, to help you carry Aemond, “send for the maester my brother is in need of aid.
“my lady is that your dragon?” Lyra asked, nervously as your dragon seemed to send menacing glares to your staff.
“yes” you nodded, catching your breath from your seemingly heavy brother.
“what is its name?” she asked stepping behind your form nervously.
“Stormfyer” you decided, and she herself seemed to like it as she eagerly nudged you, pushing you back ever so slightly.
That night the maester cared for Aemond, his body slowly recovering.
Though whispered moved swiftly of your brothers presence, and his lack of dragon.
A week passed before Aemond woke.
His voice scratchy and body weak, his head confused. Even more so when he saw your face.
You stood with broth and bread in your hand, a soft nervous smile on your face as you faced him.
His eyes were angry, but his face seemed to relax ever so slightly at your face.
“am I a prisoner?” he asked, as you placed the tray on his lap.
“if you talk a single word of war then yes” you joked, though the words soured soon after they were spoken.
“how did you find me?”
You smiled at his words, “there is a dragon in the north, she sang to me and I answered her call and in doing so I found you, your body beside Vaghars…. I rescued you, near a week ago”
“a dragon?” he spoke “you have dragon now?”
You nodded, “Stormfyer, I named her…she is near the size of dreamfyer I believe, though closer in age to Vermax” you spoke with a smile.
“I am…happy for you sister”
“I won’t reconsider… before you say anything”
“I know…I realised as such as I lay here dreaming”
“dreaming…of what?”
“of you” he spoke instantly, his hand gripping yours, “I meant what is said, all I have ever wanted was you by my side, as my wife and my queen” “I do not wish to be queen”
“then we shall be farmer and wife…in Essos or I shall shave my head and take the name snow and be your faithful sworn sword here in the north”
“Cregan will kill you second he sees you”
“then we leave”
“what if my son?” you argued, “he is the heir to Winterfell, it is his birthright”
“as is Aegon’s as king” Aemond snapped.
“and yet a war rages for Rhaenyra as queen, a queen the north supports and you lie as the enemy within.”
“then will you kill me sister?”
“never” you whispered, gripping his hand tightly, “you are the other half of me, I found you dying on the hills for a reason, I have felt your pain and joy for years…I will not betray you” “you staying here does…it hurts me, makes me ache for you”
You took a deep breath, moving the tray of Aemond’s lap, and yourself towards him.
You took his face in your heads, your forehead lent against his.
“I ache for you…everyday of my life I have ached for you” you breathed “I waited, I waited for you to feel he same for you to tell me you wished to have me as your wife and yet that day never came until a week past…after I am married and made a mother” your eyes swelled with tears, “if the gods wished us together they would have made it easier for us Aemond…they never would have put us on opposing side of a war…or me with a husband i-“ you were cut off with Aemond’s lips on yours.
His mouth merged with yours, moving in tandem with the others, years of love and desire melting into one as his mouth kissed yours, his hands gripping your sides as he pulled you onto his lap.
Your hands reaching for his hair, tugging him closer to you.
Soft moans left your moth as his tongue danced with yours.
Your dress loosened by his wandering hands.
Your hips moving slowly against this, his length hardening against your thigh as you cunt became sickened with your wet heat.
“Aemond” you moaned breaking away from him. “I am married”
“and I do not care” he smoke, removing his shirt and they your dress. Leaving you both bare.
Your eyes were roaming and quick.
As if nervous to see another man naked, and yet Aemond had long been the only man you ever desired.
You should be filled with guilt, with the thought of your husband and yet, no guilt chased you as you removed the covers and revealed Aemond’s cock.
You swallowed at he sight of him.
You moved forward placing a quick kiss to his lips, hovering over his cock, before lunging down.
The feeling of your walls wrapping around his cock made you both moan, your breaths heavy as you adjusted to the size of him.
Your head reasted on his shoulder, his hands gripping your waists as you began to lift your self of his cock, only to push them down once more.
You set a slow pace as you rode him, moving your hips in slow circular motions.
Aemond placed soft kisses to your neck, urging you to look at him.
He moaned your name, his hands caressing your sides, before settling once more on your hips.
Gripping your waist, he began to move you up and down on his cock, his pace fast and full of pleasure.
Your peak came fast, your moans covered by your hands as you rode his cock.
Your walls clenching around his cock, causing Aemond’s own peak to wash over him, his seed filling you as you lay breathless above him.
“Aemond” you breathed, kissing his chest lightly as he held you to him.
“I have wanted to do that forever” he whispered, kissing your head.
You wanted to say so may things and yet you couldn’t.
You felt joy at having Aemond finally, at your emotions being laid bare before him.
And yet a sadness watched over you as if this was a goodbye.
And seeing as shouts were heard, the sound of hooves and a rapid knock upon the door, you realised it was.
He gripped your hand, “stay” he urged.
“it is my husband” you whispered, gathering your clothes in a rush., “he can never know…you must leave!”
“leave? How when our husband and his men circle the courtyard”
“i- i- don’t..” you mumbled in a panic as your redressed, “this never happened Aemond, you must bend plea for something…I don’t know say you pledge for Rhaenyra”
“he will never believe it…and why would I come here if I did”
The knocking sounded once more…look asleep and sickly… I will come back” your promised rushing out the doors and to greet your husband.
“Husband” you greeted, a breathless smile on your face, “you are back?”
“only for a time, I’m afraid” he said, sad smile on his face as he gave you a kiss in greeting.
He turned serious as he faced you, his voice a whisper as he spoke, “your brother…Aemond” he began, “he is here?”
You swallowed, “yes…but please I beg don’t kill him” you said tears filling your eyes, “he can be our prisoner…I sent his dragon away he has no means of leaving” you begged.
He looked at you hesitantly, before urging you to talk inside.
“he is a kin slayer” he spoke outright, “he should be killed…executed”
“I know…but he is a valuable prisoner.” He looked at you the, with the same look he gave you the first few months of your marriage. When you felt alone and needed Aemond like you need air to breath.
“do you still love him?” he spoke after a moment, “and do not deny that you ever did…I know of the whispers and I know you saved his life days ago”
“you are my husband…the father of my son…I have cared for you and even started to love you-“
“but do you love him?”
You stared at him your eyes begging for what, you did not know “what does it matter” you sighed in mock defeat.
Cregan kissed his teeth, “queen Rhaenyra has taken Kingslanding, Aegon is missing, and Aemond now a hostage of the north and you...” he stopped himself unsure of what to make of you, “you are my wife and the lady of the north, a kingdom pledged to the queen”
“so what? Am I too a prisoner until you can test my loyalty?”
“do I need to test your loyalty?”
You had no reply as you stormed out of his solar, and to your own rooms.
You realised you had no choice in what was to come, Aemond would die and no prayers would save him from what his fate was set to be.
Sighing you faced the room you had made a home, now it seemed empty.
The crib lay empty, your son in the nursery.
Your bed made and fire well kept.
Your thing scattered, with clothes left tidy in their dresser, blanket slung over chairs, books left stacked.  
You sighed, your head falling in your hands as you began to pace your room.
Then the realisation hit, the need to flea and run
Grabbing a bag you packed everything you could, clothes and books, hairbrushes and toys for your son.
A cloak slung over your shoulder, the bag well hidden as you made way to the nursery.
Smiling as you greeted him, his smiles lighting the room as you took him into your arms and made way to where Aemond was kept.
He lay in his bed, the food you had brought now eaten, a book lay in his hand.
“Aemond” you breathed, closing the door behind you. “we must leave” you said as you chucked some of the clothes Cregan kept in your chamber towards him.
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Fleeing proved easier than you had thought. With feasts and revelry at your husbands return it was easy to sneak through the keep and towards the godswood.
Vhagar had made her way there only days ago, and though Aemond was still weak from the cold, he seemed to lighten up at the sight of her.
“where are we going?” he breathed as you tossed Aemond the bag you had packed.
“to lys” you began, “we cannot stay in Westeros and with the triarchy as your ally I am sure we would be safer there than here.”
After that day no one knows what happened to the Targaryen twins, many assumed Aemond had kidnapped you in act of revenge for your supposed loyalty to Rhaenrya and your betrayal against him. When in truth the escape had been your plan, and whilst you had lived in lys, myr and Tyrosh, moving from place to place for the first five years in fear of assassins, you later found a home where you thrive away from the war Aemond had began.
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leafzu · 10 days ago
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Yours Truly (Prologue)
Arrange marriage to Kento Nanami was so easy, so simple. You were scared. You've never been in a romantic relationship before and now you're married to someone about whom you knew almost nothing about.
Kento had his guard up you could tell. You were younger than him by four years. Did that bother him?
Did you bother him?
Well it didn't matter anyway. It's not like you're both in love.
But oh how you wished! How you wished to talk to him a little more throughout the day. How you wished to sit closer to him on the couch while he read his book away. How you wished to stand closed to him while cooking in the kitchen together.
He was always so nice to you, Kento. Aiding you in every way possible. Doing simple tasks for you, which you were more than capable of doing yourself. Making small talk with you to ease your uneasiness. He understands this is your first in everything in this relationship.
He's like a fairytale.
He's like a fairytale, you thought, every time he smiled at you. You thought that every time he messages you asking how you were doing, if you ate well. You thought that every time he brought something for you on his way home from work because he thought you might like it.
You loved it every time.
Each day the beat of you heart kept getting faster around him and you found yourself thinking about him even while asleep. What was this feeling? You liked it but you were also afraid of it. So many changes were made in your life through this marriage which scared you. You hated change, but Kento made it easier for you. Made it easy for you to accept these changes. These new feelings you felt scared you because you knew what they were. What they were going to turn into.
It was easy talking to him, telling him about things that make you smile. He only ever asked about you, how things were with you, what did you do all day, if you felt okay. It did make you a bit disappointed because there's so much you wanted to know. So much you wanted to ask, but he seemed to keep up a wall between you.
He took great care of you, no doubt. But is that all there is to your relationship with him, him caring for you and looking after you. You hated that thought. Why was he so close to you yet so far away at the same time.
You wanted to do what lovers did. Go on dates, hold hands, warm hugs, kissing under the moon.
Hot tears streamed down your face. How pathetic. You fell in love with someone who might spend the rest of his life with you but might not share his heart with you.
It hurt so much. Was love always this painful? Why couldn't you tell him how much you loved him?
Because you knew the answers. It scared you so much.
Slowly the distance started to become greater between you two. You talked a little less, only when it was necessary. Laughed a little less, forced one at that. You hated this new version of yourself. It was so vulnerable, so close to breaking.
Loneliness was a feeling you were oh so familiar with and that's exactly what you felt. Lonely with him.
I don't know how this turned out. You can it as a prologue chapter. Yes this is the rewriting of this arranged marriage fic with Nanami Kento. I hope you all like it. I poured my heart into this. I might not be that much active in updating but I will try my best, just need a little push from you all every now and then.
♡ - @brazenliar @erishishigami @ffyona1214 @patpatspatz @eliuriastwo @namikyento @keira80808 @midnightbarnes97 @yukithestar
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notscarsafe · 10 months ago
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OKAY SO what with the TWO new Hermits implied by the updated banner I will say that, though the Skizz truthers have me convinced, I now have room to do my own crazy red string monologue and throw my hat in for my choice
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1) Mythical J. Sausage (the J is silent) is a multitalented S-tier builder that absolutely deserves to be shoulder to shoulder with the Hermits. The man does buildings, interiors, terraforming, custom trees, and he does them SO WELL.
2) The production values!!! Beautiful replay mod sequences with shifting camera perspectives, shaders, music that sets the tone for each segment that's different from series to series. He already has more than a million followers on YouTube and for good reason!!
3) He has been SO consistent lately. He started a hardcore world about three months ago (about the time you might expect the Hermits to finalize their s10 choices maybe...???) and already has 15 episodes and hasn't gotten involved in any other big content. (He did just start playing a little of the BCG server but from what I understand that's super casual /copium copium copium).
4) That hardcore world is conveniently about to reach a good "pause" point. He started his world on a cherry blossom biome island that he's filled with a medieval village and starter farms, he's said it's almost full and what's left is the castle. I'm guessing the new season will start the first week of February, so if Sausage puts out a video this week building out that Castle and finishing that island it will be MIGHTY CONVENIENT TIMING.
5) This man can GRIND. His Hardcore world hasn't even been going half a year and he's built... So much??? Magnificent! And when he was on the Hermitcraft server he did the Razorcrest for scar AND the player head baby yoda/stormtrooper merch AND the noteblock themesong AND still built in the xmas village and other "diamond of peace" and so many other shenanigans. Did the man even sleep? He can grind with the best of them.
6) He can do redstone, too! Maybe not unique designs, I honestly don't know, but he builds farms for build materials no problem.
7) The DRAMA this man loves his improv and his backstory and trauma lore! For every series he does! Can you imagine if he gets to interact with Ren for an extended period of time, what that would do to them, to us?? Give Martyn a run for his money!!
8) Which brings me to my next point, which is that Sausage is already One of The Gang, because he's been in series with so many of the Hermits already! Empires and the crossover, obviously, but also Pirates with Cleo and Origins with Scar, and he's even done MCC! Joel is the only other player with the same depth of different series but there are other people truthing him already.
9) The EPIC BROMANCE with Pearl. My god the devotion of this man to his sunflower goddess bestie. I would try to do ot justice but y'all have seen floweroflaurelins work, you already know.
10) He's already a PG streamer but with HILARIOUSLY PG-13 tendencies. Imagine him and Cleo cracking each other up at an HHH stream, *grips your shoulders* IMAGINE IT.
11) Sausage comes with his own mascot in the form of interdimensional dog extraordinaire Bubbles, but he's also just an animal lover on general. Mans drinks his "I love Jellie" juice and had her in his world even before the sad news of her loss.
12) Diversity win! No one should be hired just for their gender, race, sexuality etc etc unless it's truly necessary to the job, but we were all happy when more women got added to the server in s8 and I know a lot of people would be happy to see some ethnic diversity added, too.
... That bulletin board had a lot more pins in it than I thought it did but anyway MYTHICALSAUSAGE TRUTHERS/ALL OTHER TRUTHERS RISE UP SPEAK YOUR TRUTH! we'll only get to wildly speculate for a few weeks so we might as well make it everyone else's problem ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST!!
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temptaetions · 9 months ago
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cinnamon sugar 🌙 k.sm (m)
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a/n: the photo above is from seungmin's instagram. i don't own the media, but i sure was blessed to see it. anyway, i think this is my first post with like...actual smut in it. please forgive me, because it is so shitty, i'm so bad at writing it. anyway, uhm, enjoy! my anon ask is now on, if you'd like to send any requests in!
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synopsis: her lips taste sweet, like cinnamon sugar...she's such a treat.
genre: best friends to lovers | idiots in love | x fem!reader | smut | fluff | angst
pairing(s): best friend!kim seungmin x virgin!reader
word count: 6k. lowercase intended.
rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.
warning(s): swearing, mutual pining, a lot of emotional turmoil from both parties, horribly written smut [between k.sm x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, soft d/s themes, (slight) overuse of pet names (angel, sweetheart) oral (f. receiving), paragraphs of praise, so much kissing, some grinding, the lightest amount of nipple play. riding/missionary, crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, they stare into each others eyes and hold hands while fucking oh my god]. this is slightly self indulgent but the guilt i feel after writing it, and so badly at that, is overwhelming.
what to listen to: gaze - sweetback | eat it - megan thee stallion | agora hills - doja cat | real love - mary j. blige | whatta man - salt-n-pepa & en vogue
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message from: seungmin🧸🤎
[7:32pm] i’m coming to pick u up, i want a cinnabon.
message to: seungmin🧸🤎
[7:33pm] ur paying 🤑
"can i get aux?" you say as you slide into seungmin's car. the leather of the passenger seat was cool to the touch, a sign that nobody had sat in your self-assigned seat. "hello to you too, best friend. how was my day? oh, it was lovely! it's so nice to see you, too!" "oh, shut up, min. you don't give a shit if i ask those questions or not." you chuckle, snatching his aux cable out of the center console. "you know me so well, fuck. i hate small talk. just merge souls with me." you and seungmin had been best friends for over ten years. he knew you inside and out - from your scalp to the bottom of your feet (including the scar from his razor scooter slamming into your ankle at age sixteen.)
you shared a lot of interests, but none as intense as your love of music and cinnamon rolls. he was always at your dance recitals. your biggest fan, really. he cheered, but never showed you more praise than necessary.
"i need you to stay humble, it helps me tolerate you." he murmured into your hair after one recital last year. you just shook your head in amusement, holding it high as you let him march you to his car for dinner.
"oh, i updated our playlist! i have a few new things on here." you said excitedly as you scrolled through the playlists on your homepage. you shared this love language – you had dozens of collaborative playlists with user ksm922, and you giggled at the ugly photos of the two of you he often used for the covers.
"sure." he shrugs, using his pinky to turn the volume dial up. your eyes trail on his slender fingers as they return to the wheel, but you shake it off just as quickly. pressing play, you let the smooth r&b sounds fill the car.
"oh, this is nice. what is this?" seungmin nods his head along to it, and you glance at the screen. "gaze by sweetback. it played on my sade station, and the vibes are just so kim seungmin, yanno?" you close your eyes and fake being a disc-jockey, his hand coming to pinch your arm lightly, a chuckle playing on his lips. "stop that, you'd be a horrible deejay."
"are you sure this isn't about sex? geez, bub, act like you get some." he teases, and you swat his arm. "i do get some!" "oh yeah? from who?" his eyes are trained on the road as he bullies you about your sex life (or lack thereof), allowing you a moment to stare at his ringed fingers. oh, the way they gripped the wheel, they could so easily grip your neck–
shut up, y/n.
"your mom." you huff, crossing your arms with a pout. you hated this conversation, and you often avoided it with him. yes, seungmin was your best friend, but you never wanted to talk about your sex life with him. he had experiences…and you heard from so many people how good it was.
with him, to be specific.
"what are we, thirteen? you wish my mother would breathe in your direction, you fucking virgin." he scoffs, and you force a snicker out. you glance at your phone, a smirk threatening to escape as it started. "oh, this one is good. turn it up!" he obliged, not even giving the screen a second look.
you settle in your seat as megan thee stallion's voice blares through the speakers, muffling a soft laugh behind your hand. seungmin hated the idea of you being a sexual being, and you often used it to bother him. you liked seeing him get red in the face, and squirm. it doesn't mean you understood it, but it was hilarious.
legs shakin', hit it 'til the bed breaking…bed springing, talk to it…
seungmin's mouth is agape, his cheeks firetruck red…
i don't want just one nut, daddy, i need the whole tree, ah…
…before his nimble fingers press skip. 
"are you serious, y/n? in my christian minecraft server?" his eyes are still fixed on the road, his knuckles turning white from his hold on the steering wheel. weird.
"it's megan! i love her, she's the hot girl coach. you don't want me to be a virgin forever, do you?" you joke, and he scrunches his nose. "since when do you listen to music about getting your…ugh, whatever. don't ever bring up sex appeal, you repulse me." you laugh loudly, your hand going to pinch his cheek softly. "you're so cute when you get flustered, min. here, i'll play pretty boy by the neighbourhood in your honor."
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he can't stop thinking about it. it's been four hours since you played the song in the car, and it's still stuck in his head. well, what he did hear.
you, inherently, did not come across as a sexual being. you didn't, and that wasn't seungmin being just a platonic, nice friend – you genuinely did not care to be the core of anyone's sexual desire. you wore oversized shirts and loose jeans, the occasional dress paired with black pantyhose and boots. "gotta hide my ankles, minnie. that's how they getcha." but thinking about you…listening to that song? your hips winding down on some other man like he's seen you do on stage? hell, some other man's face when he's right here?
it made him sick.
and you were so beautifully unaware as you swirled your fork in your cinnamon roll, bringing the tines to your lips and sucking the icing clean off them. not a second lick or adjustment, just straight off. he felt his cheeks heat as his cock twitched in his pants, and he almost missed you waving your fingers in his face. "yo, you good? you seem distracted." you have a bit of icing on your lip, and he subconsciously reaches over to wipe it off. your eyes are wide as he does so, and he doesn't know why he can't move his thumb from your lip. he doesn't know why everything feels like it's moving in slow motion, and he just watches as you instinctively suck your lip between your teeth at the loss of contact.
you're so pretty, fuck, you're so pretty.
"i'm good. do you want to go?" he's surprised to hear his own voice, and you nod absently. he was acting weird, he knew he was, but he feels like there's a fog in his brain that he can't shake. maybe it was the way he'd memorized every curve of your body, from watching your fluid dances. maybe it was the way that you smiled so innocently, you were so innocent. your eyes big and pure, your heart full, your mind…naïve.
he didn't understand the sudden urge to ruin you, but he knew he had to get over it, and fast.
"fuck." he groans, and your head whips around to look at him. "you okay?"
he nods quickly, his hand landing on the small of your back to guide you to the car faster. "min, if you have to shit, you can just say that." "ugh, shut up. you always say the most unhinged shit. no wonder you can't get laid." he rolls his eyes, and you just laugh. "trust me, it's not for lack of opportunity." you let him open the door for you, and you wink at him playfully, his fingers flicking your forehead before shutting the door. it was true, multiple of your friends had offered to…deflower you. hyunjin, on your dance team. minho, on your production team. felix, your choreographer. even their friends in the music department had offered, and you simply smiled, shaking your head at them. "i just like to flirt, your dick is your problem."
but much like seungmin, they had all seen the way you moved. how easily you sunk to your knees, how smooth your gyrations were, the way you looked like you enjoyed it. you felt good knowing people were attracted to you, but it never compared to what you believed was seungmin's innocent gaze.
it was weird to want more from him, and it pained you, slightly. he was cute, your best friend. cute, experienced, and he knew you. he knew you so well, what could go wrong? he could reject you, that's what.
you're in your own head when you realize the car has been moving, and rather fast, at that. "min, seriously. are you shitting your pants?" you roll your eyes, and he brings the car to a screeching halt. "bro, your brakes." you cringe, covering your ears as he pulls into his driveway.
"are you going to kill me? no way, jisung always said i'd go out this way. please, tell my mother i love her and make sure i get the best spot in heaven." you feign terror as you unbuckle your seatbelt, not noticing the way seungmin can't even look at you. you feel how hard he slams his door, and you give his car a pitiful look as you slide out, following him to his apartment. he lived on the first floor, what a privilege.
he doesn't look at you as he walks into the apartment, tossing his keys onto the kitchen table. "y/n, i have a question."
"oh? mr. attitude has a question, does he?" you smile sarcastically, crossing your arms over your chest, the cowhide leather of the letterman you stole from him in high school rough against your skin. "alright, let's hear it." "why are you still a virgin?" okay, not what you were expecting. don't let it fluster you. you don't really notice his hardened expression as you try to answer. "well…it's just not on my list of priorities. i'll get fucked when i get fucked, you know?"
you shrug, not thinking much of your answer as he steps closer. "hm, i don't buy it."
raising an eyebrow, you shake your head, unbuttoning the jacket. "you're acting so weird, seungmin. if you wanna fuck me, just say that."
you sound surprisingly confident, and you can feel your heart pounding in your ears as you slide the jacket off, draping it over the couch. you gather your hair forward, spinning to speak to him again. "did you still want to watch the mov-" you're cut off by his lips pressing against yours, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer. you can't move, your hands frozen as he works you carefully, lips burning against your own. his movements feel desperate, and you let your body take over as you kiss him back, a soft sigh escaping his lips as your tongue slips between them. the kiss is hungry, his hands are digging into you so deeply you're sure you'll bruise. 
he stops. his fingers let go of your hips, and he pulls away, your lips chasing after his as he does. your lip gloss is glittering on his face, before he covers his eyes. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i have no idea what came over me, i…i'm sorry, please, let me take you home."
you can't speak, your mind still swirling with endorphins. your best friend of ten years just made the biggest move on you, and without a word, you managed to fumble it. no way. absolutely not.
"sorry for what? i'm not understanding." you suddenly feel very vulnerable, your skin littering with goosebumps at the sudden change in the air. "i'm perfectly fine with…whatever you were doing."
seungmin peers back at you through dark eyes. "no, y/n. we can't." he swipes his keys off the table, and you huff. "and why can't we, seungmin? what is so bad about kissing me?" his eyes are wide as you ramble, and it's all word vomit. you can't seem to stop it, but he's drinking every word.
"what is it? am i a bad kisser? is it because i'm a virgin? i don't think it's very fair that you can openly admit to being other girls' firsts but you can't even do that for me. you haven't even offered. i'm not saying you fucking have to, because you're my best friend and you always will be. but holy fuck, seungmin, i'm trying to get some. you said i should, so why not be the one i get it from?" 
you're out of breath, and seungmin just shakes his head as he takes one, two steps back in front of you. "you think i don't want to be your first? you think i don't want you all to myself, to ruin you for anyone else? you think i don't want to fuck you stupid, until all you know is my name? are you hearing yourself right now?"
"you're certainly not acting like it. it doesn't have to mean shit, seungmin. it's just sex." you roll your eyes, leaning on the couch. "it's not just sex, y/n. this is a huge step for you, for us. our friendship is on the line, and i don't want to do something you might regret later." you shake your head, and he hates when you get stubborn like this, you won't listen to reason. "still not seeing the issue here. i lose my virginity and gain some experience for the next guy, you get your dick wet. we go to bed, and we act like it didn't happen in the morning. you take me home, we listen to our playlists on the way there, and we go about our days."
he flings his keys onto the floor, his hands reaching to hold your face. he tucks a few strands behind your ears, fingers lovingly caressing your pierced lobes before he looks you dead in the eyes. "y/n, if i give you what you want tonight, there is no chance in hell you're going to fuck someone else."
you stare back at him silently, your eyes darting to his lips before your tongue peeks out to wet your own. it's not the worst thing in the world, being with seungmin. it could be good…and not just the sex. he knows you, you know him…his lips felt like they were made for you. they always had, since your drunken kiss on christmas eve.
"you say that like it's a threat." you challenge, and he bites back a smile, nodding his head. his hand has traveled to your hip, his other still holding your face when his nose touches yours, his breath hitting your lips. "if you want me to stop at any point, just let me know. understand, sweetheart?"
you nod, leaning forward to connect your lips. he pulls back, shaking his head. "i need to hear you say you understand."
"jeez, seungmin, i understand. i get it, can we please move this along?" you're not the least bit embarrassed as you whine against him, and he lets you kiss him. your lips are eager, your hands carding through his hair as he licks into your mouth. the kiss is all teeth and tongue, a soft moan interrupting it as he gives your clothed breast a gentle squeeze, his thumb working over your pebbled nipple. "min, i…" "what, tell me what you want, sweetheart." his lips trail down your jaw, nipping along your exposed neck carefully. your whines are like heaven to him, "n-need you.." "aw, you need me? need me where?" he's loving this, the way you squirm under his lips, under his nimble fingers. you push your chest into him involuntarily, "h-here. please?"
you grab his wrist, a wave of confidence taking over as you guide his hand under the waistband of your sweatpants. his fingers are cool against your clothed heat, a soft wet patch forming on the fabric. his eyes are wide as he instinctively lets his hand run over the spot, watching as you flinch, lip caught between your teeth. he presses hard against you, a gasp falling from your mouth. "i haven't even touched you, and look at how wet you are for me. a little pathetic, hm?" "'m’ yours, minnie. always, always been yours." you don’t mean that, he thinks. he's letting you grind against his hand, his gaze transfixed on your face. your brows furrowed, eyes screwed shut as you used his hand to get yourself to the edge. his cock twitches at the little pants falling from your lips, when he decides he's had enough. you nearly cry at the loss of contact, his hand escaping the confines of your plush thighs. "minnie-" "if you're gonna cum, it's gonna be on my face. let's go, sweetheart." he tugs you towards his bedroom, your legs weak as you try not to stumble behind him. "bed. on your back."
he's pulling his sweater over his head, and you nearly coo at his messy hair in your fucked out state. he feels a flush coat his cheeks as you lay there, waiting for him to tug your pants off. hooking his fingers in your waistband, you lift your hips to make it easier, and he slides your underwear and sweatpants off in one go. you suddenly feel shy, closing your legs. 
"ah, ah. it's just me, sweetheart. do you want to stop?" his hands move to your knees, the cool metal of his rings sending a soft shock to your spine. "no, i'm…okay. i'm just nervous." "it's okay, angel. i got you, don't worry." he presses a kiss to your forehead, nose…lips. he lingers there a bit, but doesn't let it deepen as he runs his hands down your legs. his fingers dig into your thighs, pulling them apart for him to settle between. you're soaking, the heat of his stare making anxiety bubble in your stomach. "fuck, you're going to be the death of me." his lips press soft, chaste kisses along your inner thigh, nipping carefully as you mewl. "minnie, please..i..please…" you end in a whimper, and who is he to deny you when you beg so nicely? he buries his nose in your pussy, bumping your clit as he lets his tongue drag through your folds, collecting your sweet, sweet arousal on his face. your hand flies to his hair as his lips suck on your clit, thighs threatening to close around his head. he doesn't care, he'd die a happy man right there between your legs.
"f-fuck, seungmin, ah! right there, holy f-fuh.." you're shaking around his head, bucking your hips into his face as gently as you can muster. he loves it, but he can't tell you that as he drowns in the scent of you, the obscene sounds of his tongue against you paired with your pretty whimpers ensuring he'd probably cum in his pants. "oh, b-baby i'm gonna.."
his hand reaches for yours, interlacing your trembling fingers with his, his other hand massaging your thigh in encouragement. he can barely bring himself to talk, a soft moan of his against your clit sending you over the edge, a soft cry of his name echoing in the room. "that's it, good job angel. you did so well for me, hm?" he's still lapping at you, not wanting to miss a single shiver or whimper from your body. "s'always that good? min?" he peers up at you from his spot between your legs, your lips parted as you blink, a tear rolling down the side of your face. he moves up to wipe it away, but you take his hand in yours, kissing his palm softly. "you okay? we can stop." he presses his forehead against yours, not able to process your cute gesture without wanting to bawl. you nod, a lazy smile crossing your lips as you reach to kiss him. "m'all good, minnie. do you…want me to help you?"
you can feel his clothed cock pressing against your leg, practically begging to be set free, and you teasingly buck up against it. he inhales sharply, shaking his head, "i want tonight to be about you. i want to make sure you feel good, okay? are you sure you want to continue?" "yeah, m'all yours." you sigh against his lips, a chaste kiss from you to him. "can i take this off, sweetheart?" he yanks lightly on your shirt, and you nod. you help him tug it over your head, your fingers reaching backwards to unclasp your bra. he feels like all the air is sucked out of the room as you lay beneath him, for him, in all your glory. every curve he's imagined just as gorgeous. "you're staring, it's making me shy." your soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "no, no, fuck, you're gorgeous. look at you, oh my god, i.." he trails off, his hands resting on your tummy. "you just went down on me, and you're short-circuiting over my tits, kim?" your teasing is not helping his brain, but the attitude brings him back to reality. "you know that's not all it is, stop it." he rolls his eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. it's soothing, the warmth of your skin radiating against his. he dips his head between your breasts, trailing open mouthed kisses all over your chest and stomach. "you're so beautiful. i'm literally the luckiest person in the entire universe." he's mumbling to himself mostly, but you feel soft tears prick at your eyes. his lips latch around one of your nipples, a gasp from you making him pull off with a pop. "can i…are you sure you want this, y/n? i really, really don't want you to regret this."
you grab his face in your hands, your thumbs lightly padding over his cheeks. "i want you, entirely. in this life, in the next life. okay? i got you, don't worry." you echo his words back to him, and he bites his lip, a hint of something in his eyes as he pulls back to unbuckle his pants. kicking them off quickly, you wait until he straightens to take a peek. 
the rumors were true. he's thick, his tip a soft mauve. your mouth is watering at the sight, when a snap of his fingers catches your attention. "eyes up here, sweetheart. i want you to look at me, can you do that?"
you nod, a shy smile on your lips as he goes to spread your knees again. "no, wait, minnie…" he feels his heart skip a beat at your voice, eyes flickering to yours in concern. "i…can i be on top? i read that…it can be better that way." you swallow thickly, and he feels the tips of ears burn but a smile grazes his features. "you studied for sex?"
any awkwardness is gone. you scoff, a light smack landing on his arm. "forgive me for wanting to be in control."
"you want to be in control? okay. fine, but you won't last long." he shrugs, sliding onto the bed behind you, eyes taking in the curve of your ass before you turn. "lay back, asswipe." "watch the attitude, or i'm shutting this shit down." he says, eyes serious as you feel your cheeks heat. you watch as he gets comfortable on his pillows, and you crawl over to him, your hands brushing against his sides as you straddle him. "we can go as slow as you want, okay?" his words are reassuring as his hands reach for your thighs, and you nod.
you take a deep breath, lightly letting your cunt drag along his length, his tip bumping your clit. you shiver, a buzz going up your legs as he takes your hips in his hands, manually guiding you over his cock. "did you read about this too?"
"shut up." you roll your eyes, his hands holding you in place. he looks…so convincing like this. like everything will go back to normal after this, like everything will be the same. he'll still be your best friend, and you'll still be desperately, hopelessly, stupidly in love with him. it's overwhelming, and you just bite your lip, shaking your head. "you're staring." "your dick is twitching, but i'm not saying shit." scoffing, you take him in your hand gently, lining him up with your aching center. you sink down slowly, the tip barely swiping your entrance when you grimace, a hiss escaping your lips as you screw your eyes shut. "i know, angel. here, let me help you." seungmin pulls you closer, his back against his headboard, careful not to pull out. you watch as his hand snakes between the two of you, his thumb softly circling your clit, your eyes threatening to close. "eyes open." you oblige, feeling a gush of arousal at his command, and you have no room to feel embarrassed when he begins to shallowly fuck into you, matching the pace of his thumb. your eyes are glossy as you move your hands to hold onto the headboard, your chest flush to his face. he kisses your shoulder, your soft whimpers music to his ears. 
"deeper? or stay like this?" he asks, voice shaking slightly, the warmth of your pussy almost staggering. it's humiliating how worked up you have him, but you need to stay humble. it helps him tolerate you. "d-deeper, is okay."
his arms wrap around your waist tightly, slowly pulling you down further, a whine escaping your throat as your hands move to his shoulders, your eyes meeting his. he's trying not to cum from the way your pretty cunt swallowed him so perfectly, taking him so well. made for him, just him. "m'so full, minnie." you clench around him, and it takes all his willpower not to finish. he's not far, he's practically seeing stars…but the way you're looking at him, you're so pretty, so ready to cry over his cock. he needs to drag this out as long as he can.
"y-you can move, if you want. p-please, want to feel you." you're pleading, he knows. he swallows, confidence wavering as he nods, slowly thrusting up into you, the squelch immediately catching his attention, eyes tearing from yours. he watches the way you take him, your body begging to be ruined by him. he moves a little faster, your mind beginning to blur as he falls into a rhythm. 
your nails are digging into his shoulders, your lip caught between your teeth as his hips rock against yours. his eyes flicker back to your face, and you manage a quick wink. he feels his cheeks burn beet red as he looks away. he feels like such a fucking virgin, when he is the one that's your first, not the other way around. pretty girl on his lap and he can't even look at you.
he wishes you had been his first, too, and he wishes you would have asked him sooner. you're so smart, you're so gorgeous, your lips taste like cinnamon sugar. fuck, he loves you. you're his best friend, you feel so good around him and you know him so well. he loves you, so fucking much.
his hips come to a slow, your moan drawing out as he drags his cock against your walls at an agonizing pace. "'still want to be in control, angel?" his lips press to your clavicle, and you nod against his neck. "will you tell me if it's good?"
he pulls you back, hand coming up to caress your face. "how could it not be, when it's you?"
you don't say a word, allowing his lips to meet yours in a chaste kiss. he slumps a bit, and you maneuver so his back is almost flat on the bed, and you try not to moan as the movement makes his cock hit you just right. "whenever you're ready, just use me how you want to." you feel a flutter in your stomach, giving an experimental roll of your hips, your hands flat on his side. raising your hips, your thighs tremble as you start a rhythm, bouncing on him carefully. he's watching you, the way you move so fluidly, like you're dancing. like you're enjoying him, using him, making his brain feel useless. he can't speak, just drinking in this picture of you he's never going to get to see again after tonight, taking in your throaty moans.
"m-minnie?" your eyes are low, your hands moving to his chest, pushing your breasts together. fuck, you are art. "y-yeah?" 
he can't even focus as you whimper, clamping around him like a vice, moving slightly faster. "m'close, i can't..i.." you're still looking at him, and he can't. he can't take it, using his strength to flip you on your back. he interlaces your fingers, pinning your hands above you as he roughly fucks into you, sharp cries falling from your lips.
his head dips, lips dragging along your jaw as he whispers in your ear. "this is where you belong. under me, begging for me. got it?"
you feel chills cover your body as you nod, "y-yes, god, yes." "good girl." he's so unsure of himself, he's so afraid he'll scare off your high but he needs to know. "did you mean what you said earlier?" he's speaking through gritted teeth, his eyes focused on the gloss in your eyes.
"hmm?" your brows furrow, your bitten lips slightly agape as his thrusts become sloppy, and he just shakes his head, opting to kiss you instead. hoping it'll help the knot in his stomach go away, hoping it will help you forget he asked. you can't help but pant into his mouth, feeling him smile against your lips. "you can let go, sweetheart. you did so well for me, yeah? i got you." you don't register how tightly you squeeze his fingers, or how deeply you're kissing him as you feel the white hot sensation rip through you. he's drunk off you, and you can feel him spurting inside you, his cum trickling out of you as his thrusts come to a slow, slow, stop.
but he doesn't, his lips don't. he can't stop kissing you, he doesn't want to talk. he doesn't want to tell you how you made him feel, how he can never see you the same again. he doesn't want to watch you walk out of his apartment tonight and possibly never be able to talk you again. he doesn't want to ever, ever hear about you doing this with some other guy, but he made his bed. 
your thighs are trembling around him, and you tug your fingers out of his grasp, pulling as far away from his mouth as you physically can. he pouts, chasing after them, only stopping when your eyes blink slowly at him.
"you alright?" his voice is soft, almost scared. you nod, swallowing thickly as you look away, tears forming in your eyes. "ah, talk to me, y/n. it's okay." "i meant it. what i said, earlier. i…don't know why i said it, i never planned on saying it. i'm sorry if it's going to make things awkward." you feel a tear escape, your hand quickly pawing it away. "awkward? with you? it’s not possible." he murmurs, and you glance at him, but he's staring at the pillows above your head.
"but you don't feel the same way." you say, almost as if you're trying not to hurt your feelings by letting your own words reject you, instead of him. he shifts, and you realize he's still inside you. he props himself up on his elbows, hands holding his head up as he peers at you. "you think i don't?"
"i know you don't." you laugh coldly, and he smiles. "yeah, miss sex expert? you know everything? did you read that, too?"
"ugh, stop. i'm never telling you anything again." you're becoming increasingly aware of your nudity, and seungmin can feel the hot flame of shame creeping up his back. he shakes his head, hating the way his blushing cheeks burn so bright. "i want you to tell me everything, forever. i love knowing you, i love trusting you. i'm glad you trusted me with this."
you can't look at him. his hand moves to make you look at him, fingers lightly squeezing your jaw. "and i meant what i said, too. you can't fuck anyone else. only i can see you like this, okay?"
his eyes are searching your face, watching you attempt to nod. "and…" he sighs, feeling tears prick at his eyes. "and i love you. i love your smile, and how you laugh when you play sex songs in the car. i love when we split cinnamon rolls, because you always try to take the bigger piece as if i won't just let you have it. i love when you say my name because it rolls so nicely off your tongue. i love how you move so effortlessly, and how you remember every little thing about anyone, ever. i love that you're funny, and you're so passionate. i love that you're so smart, far too smart to think that i wouldn't sell my soul to live an eternity by your side." his voice is trembling, and your eyes are wide and full of tears, full of adoration, of love for the stupid boy hovering above you.
"i love you, please. please say you're mine." his tears spill, and your lips part, a soft sob escaping as you pull him close, the cool metal of his necklace dragging against your damp skin. "i'm yours, always. i'm yours, i'm yours, i'm yours. i love you." you mumble against his lips, your tears mixing with his on your cheeks.
"thank fuck, i was about to end it all thinking about you doing that fucking trick on someone else." he mutters, and you snort as he buries his face. "that wasn't in the article, funnily enough. it just felt like the right thing to do. think if i pierced my clit, it'd feel better for you?" you ponder aloud, and he nips at your skin.
"don't even start, i haven't even pulled out." he groans, and you laugh loudly. "you're so pretty." he pouts, and rolls his eyes as they start filling with tears, your hand quickly wiping the ones that spilled. "is this going to happen every time? i kind of hate it."
"god, i hope so. i love seeing you like this for me." you tease, and he scrunches his nose. "shut up. stay humble, it's the only way i tolerate you." he nuzzles his nose back into your neck, and you let him stay there, carding your fingers through his hair.
"y/n?"
"yes, seungmin?" "i'm yours, you know that?"
"mmm, i do now. just mine?" "just yours. always." he nods as he pulls himself off you, placing a kiss on your temple, before brushing his lips on the shell of your ear. "someone has to fuck the attitude out of you, and i'm so glad it's gonna be me." you feel your skin heat at his words, and you smack him lightly. he gives a playful thrust, making you gasp before slowly pulling out. "you're off the hook for now, my angel. let's get you cleaned up." he doesn't stop kissing your face in the shower, or when he's shampooing your hair. he doesn't stop kissing your shoulders as he towels you dry, or your tummy when he works lotion into your skin. he can't keep his hands off you, even when you say you need to put clothes on. he can't get enough of the burn of your skin against his, and moves as fast as a human possibly can stripping the sheets off his bed and replacing them. 
he can't stop, and he won't stop kissing you, splitting cinnamon rolls with you, or singing sex songs in the car. he can't stop, and he won't stop, supporting you at your recitals and fucking you stupid as a reward. he can't stop, and he won't stop filling your cup until it's overflowing, making you laugh until you cry, and dragging moans of his name from your throat.
he can't stop, and he will never stop, loving you.
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the-case-book-of-fanfiction · 6 months ago
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Love Bites {Masterlist}
With your memory spotty, you gravitate toward the first person you see—an old friend from a very old past. But Astarion is keeping plenty of secrets...and he's never been the best liar. How long will it take before his deceptions unravel? And what will you do when you realize just how much damage he's done?
Ship: Astarion Ancunin x fem!vampire spawn!elf!Tav/reader
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, vampire spawn!Tav, fem!Tav, manipulative but guilty/regretful Astarion, Astarion's sexual trauma, Cazador, vampire bite, reader is turned into a spawn, reader is technically one of Astarion's victims
18+ Warnings: vaginal sex, consensual sex, mirror sex, riding, fingering, oral, blood kink, bite kink, loving sex, non-descriptive noncon/dubcon (Astarion’s trauma), Astarion experimenting with his boundaries
Total Word Count: 47,397 words (87 pages)
Notes: The title of this fic (and some of its chapter titles) is heavily inspired by Def Leppard's song Love Bites.
Posting Schedule can be found on my {Updates Page}
CONTENT NOTE: Where Astarion's perspective comes into this fic, I tried writing his experience with his hurt that he has been treated this way along with his "this is what I do" mentality; he's very back and forth about the abuse he's endured and some of my writing reflects that. If that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable in anyway, I completely understand and I encourage you to leave the fic at any point. However, I do believe writing this perspective is necessary, as his blasé take on his sexual trauma is one that I myself have struggled with, as I am sure other survivors have as well.
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☟ story parts linked below ☟
Best Unremembered {Chapter 1} Waking up with a spotty memory and the only person you do remember is jarring enough—but it only gets worse when the people who remember you are monsters and strangers.
Walking Corpses {Chapter 2} Astarion's night spent searching for prey is interrupted by an unwelcome feeling of familiarity. Your life is derailed by recognizing a long-dead friend.
Little Love {Chapter 3} Appearances can be deceiving, but they can also tell you everything you need to know. A second look at the elf you once called a friend is all you need to fill in the two-hundred year gap.
The Golden Elf {Chapter 4} Sometimes, vampires choose their spawn specifically. Sometimes, they're in the wrong place at the wrong time and are lost to their loved ones for centuries. These days, that's all you can think about.
Little Star, Little Sun {Chapter 5} A long-awaited reunion that doesn't go quite as planned can lead to many things, especially when two manipulators both lay their traps for one another. Though is it really a trap when all you want to do is spare your lover from yet another night of torment?
Love Bites {Chapter 6} Astarion remembers you, but it's already too late. He's bedded you and remembered the love and life you had together, two hundred years ago, and now he has to make a choice. Does he sacrifice himself, or does he sacrifice you?
Love Bleeds {Chapter 7} Fangs gleam in the shadows and a coffin lies open nearby. Vampire lords are nasty creatures; even a changed heart can do very little when there are claws around it.
On My Knees {Chapter 8} A betrayal so severe even centuries of love threaten to break beneath its weight. Yet you offer forgiveness, even if Astarion has not felt its kindness in two hundred years.
Second Chances {Epilogue} Home is a place and home is people. You have quite the large family now, and it's time to provide for them, however you may.
Love Bites Soundtrack — 3h50min
Chapter 1: tracks 1 - 6 Chapter 2: tracks 7 - 13 Chapter 3: tracks 14 - 19 Chapter 4: tracks 20 - 26 Chapter 5: tracks 27 - 32 Chapter 6: tracks 33 - 40 Chapter 7: tracks 41 - 46 Chapter 8: tracks 47 - 53 Epilogue: tracks 54 - 60
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[Image Caption: I do not give permission to repost, translate, or publish my work on any other site or app by anyone except myself. I do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI (for audio, art, or writing).]
Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin
Taglist: {comment and let me know if you'd like to be added to the Astarion taglist!} @wayward-hel @cheeslyy @ofmyth-andmagicart @neetheslayer @whispering-depths @freesidexjunkie @lightsinmycity @the0ldmann @gobbodoggo @oooof-ifellforyou @beeblisss @fangboner @aquaarietes @fiercest-eigengrau-skies @niqhtfell @call-me-nyxx @lueji-m @ceres-xiv @tricksy-trinity @graynstairs @rosa-rubus @ynisthatyou @thegoodwitchs-blog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @kiyastrf94 @vincemachina @silverfangmarks @ravenswritingroom @hinata7346 @hellethil @caramel-hufflepuff @beemiilk @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @starwatch77 @julianmarie @sadexistentialism @supernaturallover15 @writinghound @frankie-mercury @kindadolly @infernalrusalka
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lu-is-not-ok · 6 months ago
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*rises from the grave*
*trips and falls flat on my face*
Heyyyy, it's ya boy, your favorite chronically exhausted Hong Lu identity that forgor about posting to Tumblr. Hi. Hello.
So. Timekilling Time, huh? Very fun, very exciting, we love focusing on Sinners that are misunderstood both in and out of character. We love Rodya, Hong Lu, and Ryoshu focus. We love Ryoshu's butch mustache swag.
Anyway, allow me yap about it a bit, because I took frame by frame screenshots of the teaser and I haven't yapped on Tumblr in a while. I'll also give a general update on how I've been doing at the end of the post for those who are interested.
The first thing I've noticed in the teaser is Dante actually lays out the exact traits that their choice of Sinners would need. These being (exact wording):
Someone who can support Dante
Someone who can remain laser-focused on the case
Someone who can be free from biased judgement while making rational, quick spur-of-the-moment decisions
In other words, we need Sinners who will help Dante out, are able to stay focused, and who can think on their feet without relying on their own internal biases.
I think it's important to lay those out as clearly as possible, because it makes the selections made by Dante and Verg very interesting, and also kind of funny.
Let's look at Dante's picks - Yi Sang, Meursault, and Faust. These are all, at a surface level, decent general picks, as all three of them are seen as smart and rational. However, if we look at them while keeping the previously mentioned traits in mind, it turns out these three might just be some of the worst picks Dante could ever fucking make.
The biggest issue - none of these bitches can think quickly. Faust is especially notorious for this, as it's consistently pointed out how she always needs a long time to come to a conclusion or otherwise has to pause to come up with answers. We also know Yi Sang is the type of person to get lost in his thoughts and just meander instead of getting to the point. Meursault is a bit of an outlier in that we see that he can think quickly, but if he's not given any orders he's never gonna act on those thoughts. Admittedly, he has been getting better at speaking up over time, but he's still mostly in this "only does what he's told to do" mode of operations.
This is where their issues split up a little bit.
Yi Sang is probably the most likely to be supportive of Dante out of the three - we see that he cares about others and has learned to interfere and give advice when he feels it's necessary (though who knows if he's doing well enough to keep that up after Canto 6, oof). No, rather his other issue lies in the focus department. This is the guy who, as I previously mentioned, meanders all over before getting to the point. Again, like Meursault, he has been getting better at not doing that, but he's still got ways to go.
Faust and Meursault on the other hand have the opposite issue. While they're fairly goot at staying focused on what they have to do, the issue is that they never fucking speak up. They're probbably the furthest from being supportive of Dante. They're most likely to learn info and just keep it to themselves until everyone has wasted way too much fucking time. Hell, Meursault would probably make a decently good detective if allowed to do the case all on his own, but since he's meant to be a part of a group, he's unlikely to help out that much without Dante directly ordering him around.
Now, onto Verg's picks - Rodya, Hong Lu, and Ryoshu. This is where things get really, really interesting. Because we have the reverse situation to Dante's picks - on the surface the choices seem random and counter-intuitive, but if we look deeper, it turns out they all fulfill the requirements surprisingly well.
I'm about to go on a tangent here, but I find it extremely important that we're focusing on this group of Sinners in the first Intervallo between what I consider to be the most thematically different arcs within Limbus. The first half of Inferno has been pretty squarely about confronting one's past, whether learning to face it properly after running away from it (Gregor, Rodya, Sinclair), or learning to move past it after refusing to let go of it (Yi Sang, Ishmael, Heathcliff).
However, looking at the Sinners we have left, it feels like the second half of Inferno might be focused less on the past specifically, but more about the Sinners' general reality. Especially the next upcoming trio of Cantos - Don Quixote, Hong Lu, and Ryoshu - have some heavy thematic focus on the idea of one's perception of reality, especially fitting for the three Sinners with weird eye shit going on.
With Timekilling Time focusing on the Sinners most misinterpreted by others in-character (and out of character), it feels like the perfect intro to this switch in thematic focus - exploring the actual realities of people who are otherwise hard to understand.
Anyway, back to discussing how Rodya, Hong Lu, and Ryoshu fit Dante's requirements.
Supportive of Dante - this is the requirement all three fulfill pretty well. Let me explain.
Rodya is probably the most obvious - she's a hypegirl through and through, and happy to take the reigns in some way or another if nobody else is able to, as we see in Canto 2. She's often one of the first people to point out when someone is not doing well, and shares a lot of her insight if in the mood, but she also knows when discretion is necessary.
Hong Lu is a fun one here - he's extremely perceptive and insightful, often sharing his thoughts with very little prompting. His only issue is that he tends to backpedal when he feels like he said something wrong, or generally just words shit in weird slightly offensive ways. He's supportive, he just doesn't always talk like he is.
Ryoshu is one I find most interesting here, as a lot of people seem to miss this about her character - despite her short temper and peculiar manner of carrying herself, she's actually pretty understanding and helpful towards people she's on amicable terms with. She always explains her acronyms if asked (and when she doesn't it's usually because people stop asking or Sinclair translates instead), she listens when told to stand down or otherwise do something when asked of by Dante or Sinclair, and the reason she tends to stay quiet is because she only speaks when she feels what she has to say is important.
Staying focused - this one is a bit harder to judge, but I'd say the only one who might not fulfill this one is Hong Lu, but only by a margin. Ryoshu is shown to get so focused she gets impatient when she can't get to the point, and Rodya always has her goal in mind even when she might act like she doesn't. Hong Lu is a bit harder to judge, as he seems to be the type to prioritze gathering information and satiating his curiostiy over the main goal, but in a case like this that might just be a massive plus.
Unbiased quick thinking - again, all three fulfill the quick thinking part very well. Rodya shows it constantly throughout Canto 2, Hong Lu shows it best in social interactions, and Ryoshu just doesn't want to waste time and so she naturally thinks quickly as well. It's when we come to the unbiased part that things get extremely interesting.
As individuals, Rodya, Hong Lu, and Ryoshu are all very biased people. Rodya sees the world from the perspective of someone who suffered in the poor Backstreets. Hong Lu sees the world from the perspective of a rich Nest dweller coming from a family of dubious morality. Ryoshu sees the world from the perspective of (probably) an ex-Ring member obsessed with the art that is reality. Their backgrounds color the information they take in a lot.
However... this means that as a group, all three balance each other's biases out. Rodya's cynicism gets balanced out by Hong Lu's idealism, which is balanced by Ryoshu's realism. Their backgrounds couldn't be more different, and thus give the widest possible perspective when put together.
I think this is the point Verg is making with this selection. Dante's selection is the easy way out. It's people that Dante already knows how to deal with, and would rather pick even if their skillsets don't fit the situation. Verg is making Dante learn how to work with Sinners who might be harder to deal with, but have skillsets more fitting for the situation at hand.
Dante can't keep half-assing everything by always turning to the same few people. Every Sinner in the group has their use and are smart in their own unique ways. They have to figure what every Sinner's strong point is, otherwise they'll end up putting everyone in danger by relying on people who are simply not good in a situation while ignoring those who could help.
So... that's what I think.
Anyway, personal general update - I'm still alive! And also very swamped with college and constant exhaustion. So, things will have to change a bit moving forward.
Number one - I will not be returning to old analysis requests. There's too many at this point, and I just don't have the time to sit down and write longass posts whenever I want anymore. However, that isn't to say E.G.O and Sin analyses will never return! I have plaaans for what I want to do with those moving forward, it just may take some time to materialize.
Number two - I'm generally just more active on Discord than on Tumblr. Yapping on Discord feels more natural for me, as it's just... less formal than making a full post I guess. So, if you want to discuss things with me, or if you're on a server that you think would do well with having me yapping in there, feel free to shoot me an invite link in replies (or in DMs if you don't want it to be public)!
Number three - Go check out the Absolute Pride Resonance event on Youtube! I'm not a part of it maybe next time wink wink nudge nudge, but you should still check it out cause it's a bunch of cool people doing very scuffed streams, as is fitting for the scuff Project Moon is known for.
Alright, that's it. I still don't know how to end Tumblr Posts. Bye.
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sunnie-angel · 1 month ago
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Part 11: The Eavesdropper
part 10 | series masterlist | ao3 link
jason todd x f!reader
summary: no one really talks about how getting half of what you wanted is almost worse than nothing at all. as the killer haunting gotham starts closing in, you'll have to rely on jason anyway, no matter what it does to your poor heart
tags: off screen violence, reference to serial killer, reference to torture, implied (off screen) sexual violence, slight misogyny, implied sexual content
rated explicit (mdni) | wc: 2.2k
a/n: surprise! @janybabyy left some wonderfully enthusiastic tags on the last update that hit my brain just right so now you have another chapter! we are getting darker with content, so please heed the tags and let me know if you think anything is missing
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Sleeping with Jason Todd does not cure you of your feelings for him. If anything, it digs the knife in deeper. You know him now – the smell of his skin sleep-warm, the way his chin drops to his chest when he comes, how tender his voice can curl around your name –  only you don’t have any reason to keep your distance anymore. Can card your fingers through his curls in the privacy of your apartment, tangle your legs together, steal sweet mouthed kisses from him. You have Jason now, as much of him as he’ll let you have, and it hurts worse than having nothing at all. A slow acting poison that tastes sickeningly sweet as it slides down your throat burning everything it touches on the way down.
The pain of the distance he used to insist upon is nothing compared to the agony of his closeness. He whispers tender things into your ears he doesn’t mean, helps himself to your personal space with a casual cruelty, keeps being the friend (god you hate that word) that you’d fallen in love with only he won’t love you back.
It helps, a little, that there’s still this unseen line drawn between your friend – Jason – who you see in the daylight, and your fuckbuddy – Jay – that only appears when the door to your apartment is firmly closed. Jason is kind, brings you homemade lunches and takes your bag when he walks you home. He makes you laugh, bickers good naturedly with your friends, camps out in the library with you as long as you need. He pays attention to you, considers your words and the weight of them, makes sure your voice never goes unheard. Your friend Jason makes you feel like you could take on the world with the strength of his belief in you. If Jason makes you feel 10 feet tall, Jay does the opposite. Jay has you second guessing every move, every word, just in case you drive him away again. Has you wild eyed and sleepless over how you’re not good enough to love but good enough to fuck. Wondering if one day he’ll look at your desperate attempts to let him in – into your heart, into your bed, into your body – and see someone note good enough for that either. It’s not enough, nothing about you is enough, enough to make him stay. There’s a nebulous expiry date hanging over your head but you are too weak and greedy to do the smart thing and break it off.
You want to scream, to cry, to pound your fists against his stupidly broad chest and demand to know why. Why can he so easily disregard the fragile pieces of your heart underneath his boots when all of you is so ruthlessly consumed by him? It’s not fair. But then he looks at your with those smiling eyes and every angry part of you crumbles. Can almost hear the rubble as it hits the floor when he brushes your hair out of your face and false compliments fall from his tongue. Weak as you are, you steal whatever comfort from him you can.
Refuge, wherever you can find it, is necessary. If you weren’t almost being driven mad by your heartsickness, you would have lost yourself to fear ages ago. Three bodies now, girls that could be you, found in dark alleys. Maybe there’s more of them but the Red Hood has iced you out. Girls with eyes that look like yours, features you could describe with your eyes closed. Same height to them, same width to their hips. You can’t bear to look but you can’t bear not to know either. Jason won’t tell you the truth of it. So you force yourself to look. Check the news obsessively each morning, waiting with the most awful kind of terror from any kind of safety update from the university (too many bodies too close to campus – they have to say something even if it’s only to cover their asses).
You can feel the stares like a physical thing every time a body drops. Whispers behind hands as strangers compare you to the face on their screens. Everyone sizing you up, sizing up your potential to be found dead the next week. It doesn’t matter how many bottles of mace you carry or even that you’ve got one of Gotham’s own crime lords dogging your steps. The judgement lays heavy on you, breaths down your neck until the possibility of it is impossible to ignore. Dead corpse still walking. Only a matter of time before the grave calls you home but not before one of the most dehumanizing deaths the city has ever crafted. You can see it in the way your friends won’t look you in the eyes after every new article comes out. In the way that Dannika holds your hand tight and Lina doesn’t smile so widely anymore. It’s choking, this fear. Your cuticles are a mess and there’s a smooth spot on the back of your pearl pendant from all the times you’ve nervously rubbed it for comfort. Gotham doesn’t feel like home anymore, the alleys and side streets suddenly looming tall to suffocate you.
The GCPD is both horribly inept and terribly corrupt because it doesn’t take long before details of the murders start trickling out to the press in a steady stream. Always taken on a Friday evening. Bodies found early Sunday by garbage collectors. Beaten. Tortured. Mutilated. Violated. The list of adjectives drags on, swimming before your nauseated eyes. It’s not until the fifth girl is found that the last detail is leaked: all of them, every one, had made a single phone call from an unknown number in the early hours of Saturday morning to their loved ones. What it was that they discussed is unclear, but the news anchors all agree it was not a call they made by choice.
The screen fades in and out of focus as you read that particularly gruesome detail, heart breaking in to pieces at the thought of those poor girls’ last words. The ones whose calls got declined out of fear of a scam, the ones whose messages went straight to voicemail because of the early hour. Hysterically, you begin to think about who your phone call would be to. Your parents? You haven’t been on the best terms with them in years, been ignoring your mother’s calls lately because her fear is contagious. One of your friends then?  Jason? But a random murderer wouldn’t know those fine details, would probably just have you pick a number at random, whoever they thought would hurt the most at hearing your voice.
A heavy hand on your shoulder shakes you out of your spiralling thoughts.
“Hey,” Jason says and suddenly you can breathe again. “You won’t be one of them, so stop thinkin’ about the phone calls, yeah?”
You nod – a lie – and chew at your lip. A few months ago your only concern was finishing out the year and getting in to grad school. Now, you don’t know that you’ll ever feel safe again.
Campus remains relatively dead, people too afraid that the killer might deviate from his well established patterns and suddenly attack them at random. You scoff when you hear a couple of freshman discussing it; they aren’t anywhere near the killer’s type, not like you are. But for you, it’s a choice between sitting at home and staring at the walls, jumping every time the pipes rattle or a neighbour slams a door too loudly while your sanity slowly unravels, or this. Putting in extra hours as Professor Llewellyn’s research assistant, haunting the common spaces and libraries for the company of strangers, killing the time that stretches out between the brief moments you can spend with your friends.
You’re early on this particular Wednesday, desperate to get out of the apartment. Danika and Will are the only other ones haunting the student commons with you, Rei and Lina conspicuously absent. With a pang, you try to ignore the awkward silence that lives where Jason should be beside you. It’s quiet, save for the scratching of highlighters and the rushed clacking of keyboard keys as you work. Will’s not the best conversational partner and Dannika seems preoccupied by something. You’re so absorbed by your work that you don’t notice the stranger standing at the end of the table until he clears his throat. You jump and Dannika strangles a scream, knocking her notebook onto the ground. The man stoops to pick it up.
“Sorry,” he says with a grin that should be charming but your hackles are raised. “Didn’t mean to scare you all, I was just looking for my brother Jason. I was told that he’s usually here on Wednesdays?” He slides the notebook back to Dannika and she snatches it up to her chest.
Surreptitiously you send a text off to Jason under the table, unwilling to look away and let your guard down.
You: there’s a stranger here with a creepy smile that’s too wide for his face, says he’s your brother
Jason: that’s Dick
You sag with relief at the confirmation. Dannika takes her cue from you and starts to look at the man (Dick?) with less suspicion and more blatant appreciation. He simply beams under her stare.
Jason: wait please tell me you told him you think his smile is creepy
You: yeah I’m not doing not insulting your brother this soon after meeting him
“So,” Dick interrupts, still smiling that suspiciously happy smile. “Is he coming any time soon? I’d love to meet all of his friends if he’s gonna be a while.”
Will snorts at that you hold back the urge to stomp on his toes.
You: wants to know what he should do
Jason: tell him to go buy chilli dogs at the Batburger and I’ll meet him there
“Jay says to buy him a chilli dog from Batburger and he’ll meet you at the stand,” you say, jutting your chin out to indicate the order window on the other side of the commons.
“Jay, huh?” Dick says consideringly and you swear in your head.
Fuck. You really should know better by now to keep them separate. Dick shrugs and lopes off. The unfair grace must be genetic, you decide.
“So Jay, huh?” Dannika echoes, and you swear again.
“He doesn’t actually like to be called that,” you demure, frantically trying to dig yourself out of this hole before Jason actually does show up.
She turns to you, wraps a hand gently around your wrist where it lays on the table.
“No, no I’m just glad that you two made up. You both seem a lot less awkward around each other now. I’m just happy to see you less unhappy.” Her words are sweet but you can’t help but to clamp down on the wild giggle bubbling up in your throat. Less unhappy. Right.
“Yeah because she’s obviously fucking him,” Will interjects, derailing your train of thought. You slam your laptop closed.
“Oh fuck you too,” you hiss out through bared teeth. “You think guys and girls can’t be friends without sex? Newsflash Will, we’re supposed to be friends and I’d never in a million years fuck you.”
You grab your bag and storm off, shame and anger sparking in your chest and clawing their way up your throat.
“You know, it’s really rude to make comments about someone’s sex life or lack of one...” you hear a voice that sounds like Dick start to say.
You stumble out into the blinding whiteness of the snowy outdoors, squinting at the sudden change in light. Your coat is still slung over your arm but you don’t feel the bite of the cold yet, chest still heaving as an emotion you try not to look at too hard bubbles up inside of you. Why his words had landed so badly with you, well that’s not something you want to cry over in public before you can put yourself back together without anyone seeing. The frozen air cuts open your lungs with each heaving inhale but it grounds you, pulls you out of your racing thoughts and into the present moment.
“Hey!” Dannika puffs out, running into the cold morning air after you. “Wait up!” She bends in half, hands resting on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. She groans and stretches out her lower back, grinning at you ruefully. “Let’s find somewhere else for the rest of today. Will was so far out of fucking line. He’s been such a little asshole ever since he broke his wrist and I know we’re supposed to be understanding that he’s grumpy from the pain but that was just him being mean and neither of us need to put up with that shit.”
“You’re not gonna ask if it’s true?” you ask her, starring at the dirty snow on the ground.
“Well if it was true and you didn’t tell me, I’d assume you had a good reason. And if you didn’t have a good reason but were worried I was gonna judge you, I wouldn’t. But those are all hypotheticals of course.” She says it so kindly that you can feel the first pinpricks of tears in your eyes.
“One of the library group study rooms should be open, let’s go snag one,” you settle on instead of the secret that’s been burning a hole through your tongue.
“Sure! Oh lemme text Jason real quick to let him know we changed spots for today,” she agrees easily and you let out a sigh of relief.
No, sleeping with Jason Todd hasn’t cured any of your feelings for him.
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'part 12
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cobrakaisb · 6 months ago
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call me, beep me, if you want to reach me
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summary: percy, annabeth, and grover have some great news about their quest, but something is off about their hypothesis  
word count: 2.8k
featuring: reader and annabeth’s relationship, slightly steamy reader and luke scene, more percabeth crumbs, fluff and angst  
author's note: IM BACKKKKK...this one took me forever, and i am so sorry about that! between finals, coming home from college, and just dealing with life in general it has been a real struggle BUT we are finally back on the luke train 🤩 and trust, these next few parts are about to get real...anyways, enjoy 💗
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you run to the top of the hill, calling out to the three kids before they can cross the protective barrier surrounding camp half-blood.
“i just wanted to wish you guys good luck before you leave, although i’m sure you won’t need it,” you explain, walking up to the trio. 
annabeth smiles at you. there’s an excited gleam in her eyes, and you remember how she’s been waiting for this for years -- her chance at glory.
“thanks,” percy mumbles, not really knowing what to say. 
“i just…be safe okay?” you whisper, hands gripping tightly at annabeth’s shoulders while you look directly at her. 
she nods, “i will. i promise.” 
you nod in agreement, lips pursed in a tight line as you struggle to keep your emotions at bay. over the course of your years at camp, the bond between you and annabeth has grown exponentially. you love her like a little sister, one you’d do anything to protect. it scares you to think about her, a twelve year old kid, in the real world with no one looking out for her this time. 
she senses your anguish, and pulls you into a tight hug. you freeze at first, not used to the affection from her, but ultimately wrap your arms around her small frame. the two of you stand there for a minute, embracing each other, but break apart when luke calls out to you from the bottom of the hill. 
“it’s time to go,” he yells, and you imagine his pointed look and crossed arms. luke was just as worried as you, but he found it necessary to hide those feelings, claiming it was best for annabeth’s sake. you disagreed. 
you nod, stepping away from the kids, back towards the chaos of camp, “i’ll see you at the solstice.”
you watch, with your stomach in knots from nerves and a mouth full of anxiety, as the kids step past thalia’s tree and into the world of monsters.      
that was almost four days ago, and still no word from the trio. percy, annabeth, and grover were on their quest to find and return zeus’s master bolt, but the radio silence worries you. while you didn’t expect them to call every day to say good night — they needed to save their dracmas — you at least expected some type of update by now. the lack thereof leaves a nervous feeling in your stomach; something isn’t right, you know it, but you can’t quite determine what. 
“those are called feelings sweetie,” katrina replies when you explain your current predicament to her.
you suck your teeth at her words, shoving her shoulder as you mumble, “shut up.”
“i’m being serious! since when do you care about three twelve year olds? no scratch that, since when do you care about anybody?” she shouts, throwing her hands up. 
you look down at your converse, arms crossing over your bent knees as you sit and look at the rippling water. i care about luke, you think, and all those kids who will never experience a true family thanks to our parents. i care about you, and our friendship. i care about grover, who’s too kind for his own good. the list goes on and on, but you don’t say any of those names out loud. 
instead you respond with, “i care about annabeth.”
katrina openly scoffs at your words, leaning back on her palms. “oh please, i’m talking about that little blonde.” 
you sigh, looking at her over your shoulder. her short hair rustles in the breeze, and the unruly curls from spending the day in the water makes her possess a childlike innocence. if you didn’t know katrina, you’d think she was a sweet girl who’d chew you out for swearing, but you do know her; she’s anything but, and the constant taunting and teasing proves that. 
“there’s something different about percy,” you explain with a shrug. 
“yeah, it’s called your need to play mommy,” she mumbles. 
“oh shut up,” you gripe, getting up from your spot on the dock. you make sure to kick her calf, not too hard, on your way back to hera’s cabin. 
“harder,” luke commands, despite the sweat dripping down both of their faces. 
percy groans, throwing his head back in frustration. they’ve been going at it for hours, practicing various techniques and maneuvers with wooden swords. while percy’s claiming was still new, and his slaying of the minotaur with no experience was still the talk of the camp, it was obvious to everyone that he needed to train. there’s an impending war coming, and the blonde boy has found himself right in the middle of it. 
but he doesn’t even know what it is, you think, stepping into the dirt of the practice arena. 
“give him a break, luke. he needs some hydration,” you exclaim, holding up two refillable water bottles. 
they’re dripping in condensation, the ice from the pavilion already melting in the sweltering heat courtesy of long island summers. luke grumbles something under his breath, probably about how he doesn’t need a break, but takes the bottle from you with a squeeze of your hip. he stays close to your side as he drinks the water, and instead of giving him your attention, you’re busy looking over percy. 
“there’s a cut on your forehead,” you say, pushing back some of his curls to get a better look. 
“yeah, your boyfriend nicked me,” he replies, gesturing to luke with his chin. 
“it was an accident! how many times do i have to tell you?” luke defends.
“a lot more. i’m great at holding grudges,” percy announces, and you roll your eyes. 
“and that’s why you’re becoming friendly with annabeth?” you tease.
luke raises his eyebrows at your statement, looking over at the smaller boy, whose cheeks are suddenly a very dark shade of red. 
“that’s different,” he grumbles, pouring the remaining water on his head. 
“uh huh, right. whatever floats your boat i guess,” you reply, patting his cheek in a motherly fashion. percy swerves with an eye roll fit for a teenager. 
“anyways, i’ll let you guys get back to it,” you announce, turning to face luke. 
you kiss his cheek, and his palm splays across your waist. he gives it a gentle squeeze, a small sign of affection in a hasty moment. you smile at him, leaning into his chest to whisper, “go easy on him.” 
“he’s training with the best swordsman in camp, he knows what to expect,” luke replies, cocky as ever, as you pat his sweaty chest three times before walking away. 
the training arena is packed when you arrive, brimming with younger kids and blaring noisy chatter. they’re all clad in some sort of battle armor: shields, bronze chest plates, and celestial bronze swords. it takes a minute for them to notice your presence, but when they do they part like the red sea. most of them have the sense to keep quiet, watching you with nervous eyes and wary glances, fueled by the words of their older siblings no doubt. others, the more gutsy of the bunch, have the courage to whisper the exact words they heard from their siblings, warning their friends about you and your anger. you, however, are focused on finding the tallest head amongst the group; the one housing messy, onyx curls. 
“he’s up front, helping jimmy with his armor,” a young girl whispers shyly, drawing designs in the dirt with the tip of her sword.
you stop walking, turning to face her. she’s young, no older than eight, and you feel the edges of your hard exterior soften from the sight of her pigtails and pink twinkle toes. you smile softly at her, hoping that it doesn’t scare her off. 
“thank you,” you say, “i love your shoes.” she smiles at your words, giggling quietly to herself as a small blush coats her cheeks. 
just as she goes to answer, luke appears at your side with, who you can only assume, is jimmy. you smile softly at him, ready to explain why you’re here in the first place, but luke beats you to it:
“let me just give them some instructions, then we can talk, okay?” he whispers, his free hand taking its place on the small of your back.
you hum in agreement, watching fondly as he takes charge of the large group of young demigods. he instructs them to practice the methods he just demonstrated in pairs, explaining that he’ll be walking around to give feedback once he’s done talking to you. as the kids partner up, he leads you to the side of the arena, where he finally meets your gaze with a raised brow. 
“what?” you ask, crossing your arms at his confused stare. 
“you never come here while i’m teaching lessons,” he answers.
“well, maybe i’m starting to,” you reply. 
luke scoffs at your words, “no shot. what’s really going on?” 
“i could be!” 
“but you’re not. you hate their judgy, beady, little eyes. so, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours to make you seek me out while i’m in the middle of lessons?” he continues, his fingers playing with the waistband of your shorts. 
you take a deep breath, meeting his chocolate brown eyes on the exhale, and state your concerns: “i’m worried. why haven’t we heard from them yet? it’s been days, and it’s not like annabeth to keep us completely in the dark.” 
luke sighs at your words, “i’m sure they’re fine.” 
you raise your eyebrows at his unexpected answer. this is luke, the same guy who refused to let you and annabeth out of his sight during capture the flag, talking? not a chance. 
“so you’re not worried, at all?” you ask, searching for the true reason behind his lack of worry. 
luke clenches his jaw at your words, looking away from you as he stares off into the distance. his eyebrows furrow, and you can see something flicker across his face. you don’t know what it is, but you know he’s battling something within himself. 
“luke?” you ask softly, resting your hand on his bicep. 
he shakes his head, a carefree smile taking over his face as he says, “it’s annabeth. she’s the smartest, most careful person i know. nothing’s wrong.” 
you eye him warily, and nod your head slowly, “right. i guess i’m just overthinking.” 
luke smiles, a teasing look in his eyes as he nudges your foot with his own. you look up at him, a breathy laugh escaping your lips as you meet his playful gaze. 
“you always are,” he mumbles, followed by a loud laugh as you shove his shoulder. 
he plants a quick kiss on your temple, hands rubbing up and down your sides before whispering, “i’ll stop by your cabin tonight. once they’re all tucked in.” 
you hum in agreement, watching as he departs from your side and heads to the closest duo to provide feedback.  
****
the door creaks open, and luke slips inside before the harpies register the noise. you’re already awake, patiently waiting for him on the singular cot in the cabin. the eternal flames of the fire pit burn brightly, leaving dangerous shadows on your face, illuminating the storm brewing inside. 
“you’re late,” you quip, not even bothering to look up from your book. 
you’re laying on your stomach, propped up on your forearms with a paperback book in your hands. you’re in your usual sleep attire, shorts and a tank top, and luke has to physically hold back a groan. he’s never wanted you so badly in his life, but instead of expressing that desire, he apologizes for his actions.
“some of the younger campers were arguing, you know i had to settle that,” he whispers, burying his face between your neck and left shoulder. 
luke kisses your bare skin, slightly warmed from all the sun you’ve been getting recently. your head tilts, giving him access to more skin, and he doesn’t deny that. his lips move to your neck, leaving more than a few marks. 
“careful. hera’s watching,” you tease, closing the cover of your book. 
“let her,” he mumbles, practically moaning when you thread your fingers through his hair. 
“oh you’d love that,” you taunt, tugging on his curls. 
luke’s right arm wraps around your waist, flipping you onto your back, while his left pushes your book to the floor. your mouth falls open in shock, and you gasp quietly. he smirks at your expression, feeling satisfied to have you speechless. before you can ruin the moment, he captures your mouth with his. 
the kiss is rough, all tongue and teeth. his left hand settles next to your head, while his right tugs your hips closer to his. your fingers are still lodged into his curls, and you use them to keep his face pressed against yours. he pulls back, gasping for air, but keeps his forehead planted against your skin. before he can reconnect your lips, you’re kissing all over his face.
“missed you,” you murmur in between kisses. 
luke sighs, relaxing into your arms as the tension from camp counselor duties and other activities leaves his body. he knows eventually he’s going to have to tell you. he thinks it will be something like ripping off a band aid. but, for now, when he has you so eagerly in his arms, and he’s content with baring the brunt of the burden. besides, the kids aren’t even close to figuring out the truth, he’s sure of it. 
****
“we know who stole the bolt,” percy announces, nothing but confidence in his voice. 
luke falters, but only for a second, before asking, “how do you know?”
immediately, annabeth starts rambling. she mentions an encounter with ares, how he knows who the thief is, but was clearly covering for them. as she talks, luke realize that their suspicions are anything but correct, in fact, they’re so far into leftfield it’d be considered a homerun. yet, he runs with it, not willing to give himself up.
“so who would ares cover for?” annabeth finishes, waiting for luke to answer. 
“his favorite daughter. clarisse is the lightning thief,” he answers, making sure to sound shocked by their groundbreaking discovery. 
“chrion’s got to arrest her, find out what she knows. there’s more to this than just the bolt, something bigger,” percy explains.
luke and annabeth share a look of uncertainty, one that percy picks up on because he quickly adds, “don't ask me how i know, you’ve just got to trust me.” 
as luke is about to assure the kids that he’ll get to it straight away, you walk into the office. 
“talking to yourself again, castellan? i knew you were crazy but not this off the rocker,” you tease, stepping closer to his side. 
as you approach, you see the faces of annabeth and percy in the mist. you smile at the sight of them. while they look tired, they seem pretty intact and much better off than you expected.
“how’s your quest going?” you ask, hoping to hear some positive news. 
“not too bad. between ares, the chimera and medusa, i’d say we’re doing pretty good,” percy exclaims.
your eyes widen at his words, and you look to luke to see what his reaction is, but he’s not even looking at you. instead he’s watching the two demigods arguing about which monster occurred each day. he smirks at the sight of them, gently bumping his hip with yours before saying, “what is this?”
“what?” annabeth answers, confusion written all over her face. 
“since when did you guys turn into an old married couple?” luke continues to tease, and you smile at the kids’ shocked faces. percy blushes at luke’s comment, and annabeth makes a point to avoid your gaze.
“not to change the subject, but we need your advice luke. we’re going to vegas and…” before percy can say another word, the iris message cuts out, the connective screen dissipating along with the rainbow that brought it here.
“well that was entertaining,” you joke, turning to face your boyfriend. 
you expect him to laugh at your words, but his face is set into a hard line. his arms are crossed and jaw clenched as he stares at the spot where annabeth and percy’s faces were previously occupying. his thoughts are clearly running a mile a minute, and you step into his line of sight, calling out to him. 
“they think they know who the lightning thief is,” he grumbles, gaze still distant and cold. 
“what? who?” you ask, stepping closer to him. while it’s only the two of you in the room, you don’t want to risk anyone else hearing; this isn’t the sort of thing that should be spread around camp, even if you hate the majority of the people here. 
“clarisse,” he starts, “but they’re wrong.” 
“how do you know?” you ask, nothing but confusion plastered all over your face. 
“because it’s actually me,” luke replies, finally meeting your gaze.
taglist: @percabethlvr @iwantahockeyhimbo @hottiewifeyyyy @loveryoushouldcomeoverr @maraschinocherry3 @used2beee @harrysnovia @cami-is-reading @mxtokko @cxcilla @obxstiles @dracoslovergirl @vanessa-rafesgirl @l1a-pjosversion
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starberry-cupcake · 24 days ago
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I came back!!! I didn't leave you for 5 months!!! And now I have 3 chapter updates together!!! I'm kissing you all in the brow tenderly like palmolive did to harrow and offering this recap
previously, in harrowcita del 9:
this happened
CHAPTER 34
harrow wakes up in a different spot, with camilla next to her and a shuttle with a design she has never seen before
she confirms that palmolive is indeed in his bachelor apartment in the river
camilla is very glad she doesn't have to go back to sweep the floor of canaan house for more palmolive bits
harrowcita does as palm told her and turns the skull into a hand because cam doesn't want a full skeleton reproduction because "it would get her in trouble"
customs are nasty up there in space
harrow goes to check up the shuttle and finds more old pals!!!
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there's judith, remember judith?
in harrow's memory, she was dead from the slasher waker sleeper, but in our memory she was close to dead but not quite
turns out she's alive
not great for anyone other than herself, but anyway
there's also regina george twin
harrow remembers her falling to her death in the hands of mayonnaise uncle, but we remember her from crying in a corner last we saw her
after yandere twin had slurped chad the third and all that
this is again confusing me a bit, because clearly harrow remembers the gideon-less narrative but not!dulcinea is included in her memory, so that's still undetermined for me
there's also a poster of a woman harrow takes quite some time looking at
she: 1) looks intimidating, 2) is dressed in black, 3) has red hair
harrow immediately starts bleeding
"that portrait frightened you more than anything you had seen since becoming a Lyctor; it scared the irresolute piss from your body. Yet you had never seen the face before in your life"
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my immediate theory is that maybe she's the leader of BOE who went missing about 20 years ago and that I mentally connect to gideon or gideon's mom
without any evidence other than math and a hunch
we'll see how wrong I am in the following chapters
harrow starts taking out her letters for everyone present
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past!harrow wanted present!harrow to silence judith (valid) and protect regina george twin, only silence her if necessary
yandere twin had added some annotations on this about not hurting her sister
these letters were google docs
regina george twin has a ninth house rapier
I WONDER WHAT THAT IS ABOUT
harrow does as told (by herself) but wants to know what is going on so she un-silences judith momentarily and judith is an asshole who wants to rat someone out to the emperor
idk how things are at BOE or what is going on but here we don't stan the emperor so anyone who wants to protect him isn't my friend
camilla gives the ninth pledge to convince her to let them leave and says "we're not on the same side anymore"
PROMISING
when asked who took them from canaan house and who they're with, camilla says "you call them Blood Of Eden"
POSTER THEORY NOT CONFIRMED BUT I WONDER
CHAPTER 35
back in gideon-less universe with ortus and his polycule the fifth
abby thinks the lost chambers of the emperor run sidelong to the facility, which is information I very much would have liked her to elaborate on
but harrowcita is spotted listening in on the private conversation
harrow also keeps wanting ortus to do gideon stuff and show gideon behavior
she doesn't know that's what she wants but we know because she keeps being like "ortus doesn't start immediately doing push ups after almost dying, isn't showing his arms to the young ones and hasn't said a single dirty joke, which isn't ninth behavior but she's somehow expecting it".
canaan house is also growing some body horror stuff
sure, why not
abby says "time was always against us", which is pretty intense, knowing what we know
and then in comes teacher acting like he's drunk out of his ass, but he says he's not
it's great for us because drunk exposition is useful
he calls "the devil" a "her" who "bent for god to put a leash around her neck" and how the "disciples were scared" of her
then the lyctors found out what they had to do and they asked doctor reverend emperor john to kill her
but he "put her in a box"
like this
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"you worship a monster in a box" "now we have a monster in a box"
I hadn't thought of those parallels, actually, that's my bad
"once that rock's rolled away, once that tomb's levered open, the Emperor of the Nine Houses will never know peace ever again"
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CHAPTER 36
there's a bug in this one, like in the illustration
is this the beast?
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harrow prays that not!dulcinea's body is tossed out through the airlock
WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE??????
OH YEAH, I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR THAT SAME THING
at first I thought harrow didn't remember her meeting the gang because it said "and why now was one of your letters missing and another two freshly opened?"
but she does remember, so narrator (still unknown) is confusing me
playing games with my mind
they have boring code-names that aren't puns or funny nicknames (which I have a predilection for) but their initials and the initial of their cav
dr reverend emperor john has a g, which I know what word it stands for, but I don't know what it means because it showed up in a dashboard spoiler but thankfully it had no context
so there's AA for Augustine Alfred, GP for Gideon (alleged, we're still not saying that one aloud, I'm still betting on it though) Pyrrha, IN for Ianthe Naberius
which is confusing to me because I call him Chad and everyone else calls him Babs but his name is Naberius but I always read it as Nebarius
he's like a puppy that you name one way but everyone calls differently
augustine hesitates on harrow's name and says "Harrow's H"
harrow says HO and everyone's awkward about it
you sure, harrow? you sure it's O?
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turns out the beast is here to get doctor reverend emperor john's sorry ass for, according to mercygirl what "you did to its kin" and "it sees my cavalier's mortal soul burning in my chest"
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harrow wants to kiss ice cube barbie but she's not having it and goes "i have to go away for a while"
that's rough, buddy
mercygirl proceeds to draw a cylinder with names of layers and explains the very convoluted and not at all certain sounding plan they've got
apparently ulysses threw sexy parties that mercygirl hated
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harrowcita does remember seeing regina george twin and is worried that yandere twin is the traitor that judith was taking about
I think harrow is the traitor but she doesn't know it
I think her forgetting stuff is part of a plan to kill the emperor, but my evidence is circumstantial
as long as we kill this dude, it's all good
mercygirl gives a speech about how much she hates everyone and how she wants to torture the emperor
if we are to spare one lyctor from the guillotine, let it be her
everyone has positions to take in this plan (that sounds like it's kinda doomed) and that the emperor isn't paying attention to at all
everyone except for harrow, because they all think she's gonna die
and we get potential foreshadowing?????? about the stoma
which is "hell" and the emperor says it's "where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless"
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AND THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW, FAM!!! see you next time!!!
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