#anyway. point of this post was that i find it interesting that posts online can be dated just by the common typing style n i wonder how

[moodr1ng]

omggg theres an actual death rock/post-punk band playing in my city next month.. like they actually make goth music. it is IMPOSSIBLE to find goth shows in this country let alone in my city im soooo into it!! and the venue is literally 2 streets away from my place this fucks so hard

[bloodhailmp3]

i love how like literally everyone in 2010 - 2014 had this annoying way of speaking online like even if u were quote unquote cool u would still type in this v sincere forced quirky way that means if ur reading a post from 2012 in the present day u can usually guess what year the post was made before u check the timestamp. and now the common like online uhhh tone?? style of communication?? (sorry idk what to call it idk much abt linguistics) has shifted to being a little more detached and ironic and if someone still types in that early '10s style it comes across as what would now be considered cringe or maybe to put it more nicely just a touch too earnest and emotionally involved and like wannabe quirky

[moonsworndandelion]

Not to say that English doesn't have different degree of formality, but I don't think English has an equivalent to the tú/usted thing in spanish, or the tu/vous thing in French ?

It's not about words having generally the same meaning but with different formality / social norms, it's about one very common word changing the familiarity of the sentence. It's each time you want to use "you" in a sentence, you only have two option, and you have to chose one.

And you don't change any of the other words in the sentence.

(Well, you may have to change the conjugaison but that's it)

If I'm randomly meeting my aunt on the street I'm probably gonna ask her some variation of "Salut ! Tu vas bien ?". If I'm meeting my neighbour on the other hand, I would instead say "Salut ! Vous allez bien ?". Yet in English, you would translate them both to "Hi ! How are you ?". There is no other equivalent.

(we even have verbs for it : "tutoyer - je te tutoie - tu" for the familiar you, and "vouvoyer - je vous vouvoie - vous" for the formal you. ) (I'm gonna use these terms in the rest of this post because there is no English equivalent and it's getting tiresome to write it the long way each time)

I've been taught since I was a kid that you vouvoies strangers, especially older than you, and you tutoies friends, family, and any person with which we went "let's use tu between us" ("on peut se tutoyer ?").

But some families just tutoie everyone, while in some other you vouvoie your parents. Or some people find it easier to just tutoyer everyone, some on the other hand only permit a handful of people to tutoie them. Some time it's a generation things : my parents (and all of my uncles and aunts I think) both vouvoie their parents in law, but tutoie the rest of the family. And My aunt doesn't care about swearing in front of my grandma, or talking about crass things. But she still vouvoie her. It's how we do it in my family.

So "How do you know?" Well, first it's pretty common to talk about it when you meet someone. Like you're meeting your partner's coworkers, you say "vous", they goes "we can tutoyer each other" and that's it. In doubt, you can default to the "vous" and the other will correct you if they feel you can be less formal.*

But sometimes even knowing how you're suppose to call them isn't enough. The mother of my ex told me, I think on the second of third time that we met, that I could tutoie her. And I really tried. But my brain just went "mom of someone I know -> vous." And we stayed together a long time, and their mom was really nice so we talked a lot. Yet, even three years later I'd sometimes freeze in a middle of a sentence and use her name instead of "you" because part of me wanted to vouvoie her, like we do in my family, and the other part wanted to tutoie her, because we are not stranger and she asked and it's a bit rude to tutoie someone who asked you repeatedly to vouvoie them.

Vouvoyer someone also put some distance between you and them, and not having the option of setting that particular boundary with someone in English is a difficult concept to grasp. Like when you met someone in a bar who is a little too friendly, continue to vouvoie him can be a way to tell him to back off.

Anyway, don't get me started on the "On" (non-specific we ? I don't even know how to describe this one, depending on situation I'd translate it with they, or we, or someone, and I fucking miss him so much when talking in english), but yeah language are cool.

*it has now become more common to just tutoyer everyone, especially in the younger generations and/or everyone who's not "old family / in politics". So sometimes, unless the other person goes "I'd rather we vouvoie each other", the tu is becoming the norm. But once again, it depends.

I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!

[alziel]

" Arranged Friendship "

: Male Reader

Summary: How would Luka react once he found out he had been set up with an arranged relationship with someone.

That said person was, You, who's almost as popular as Luka himself. Will he grow to like him in the future?

Warnings: Luka is a warning

himself,possessiveness,obsession, threat s, blackmail.

Requested/Not requested

At first he didn't like this idea at all, but once he realized that the fanbase will like the idea he decided to go with the plan. And so his owner scheduled a meet up with your owner along with you. The day came and you had met eachother.

Both of you already knew who you two were already because of your reputations in Alien Stage.

But he still decided to introduce himself anyways, putting up a smile and a demeanor that was welcoming but his aura said otherwise.

You didn't mind, greeting him with the same enthusiasm with no other malicious aura. The two aliens had a discussion with eachother about the arranged friendship. Luka's owner stated that this would make a huge impact towards the fanbase, bringing more popularity and secureness for the two of you.

I mean two well known singers having a collaboration and potential relationship with eachother? The fanbase will increase their likability towards the two. Luka the well known

"Prince" having a close relationship with you, specified to be a real life Siren because of how you enchant your opponents. It will surely bring alot of fans cheering and bring more support.

Both of their owners aareed with the plan andsigned a contract. They left the room to either talk more about the Collab while the two of you spend some times with each other. Once they fully left the room and closed the door, Luka resorted his face into the original calm and collected look.

"I only agreed to this so that my popularity will grow, we'll only be acquaintances nothing more." He stated sternly, obviously he did not want this arranged friendship to happen but it will help him big time. At first he expected a disappointed and an upset look from you, but you were still smiling.

"Of course! I expect nothing more than that, I won't force you to do stuff you don't wanna do.

But we still have to convince the public about our 'relationship. But I can tone it down to your comfortability!" You stated in your cheery voice, he was a bit taken back by your upbeat personality despite his strict and straightforward statement.

He looked away before humming in agreement.

You were an interesting little thing, as much as he hated to admit. He wanted to know more about you. Your reputation your status,and what his and your fans think of you. Perhaps he can find some dirt on you that he can use against if you ever step out of line.

He tried but couldn't find any dirt on you suprisingly. You were almost as popular as him and yet you barely had any haters or rumours about you. Sometimes he might even think your owner had payed someone to delete posts that would tarnish your reputation. Because he seriously could not find any.

The fans also took the announcement really well.

Some obsessive fans, mostly Luka's, did not take it well and gave death threats to you. Online only because they're scared jealous bitches.

You paid no attention to the negative reactions from.. those kind of fans--and focused on convincing the fanbase that the relationship was real.

Luka was not really a fan of people getting into his personal space. But he did like getting into people's personal space. In random moments when you're busy, he would randomly walk up to you, literally put his face close to yours to the point your noses are touching, just to say hello then walk away. leaving you there with a confused expression.

"This is [Name]! Name love his personal space."

"This is Luka! Luka also loves [Name]'s personal space."

During fan meet ups, the place is usually verycrowded. You always put a hand on his shoulder or waist just in case it gets too crowdy. The first time you did it, he flinched; but didn't exactly pulled or slapped hand away. For the entertainment you would often put your hand on his waist even though the place isn't crowded.

The fans love it.

During interviews, you would always hold his hand in which he finds odd. Whenever you answered a question in the interview you would play with his fingers. Or if he was the one answering, you could occasionally squeeze it for encouragement.

Throughout the "relationship" his owner mentioned how you were always the one engaging with physical affection. In order to convince the public, he'll need to initiate it too.

He just rolled his eyes and lazily agreed before walking away. The first time he initiated it was during one of your "dates" You were busy coming up a song to sing when he unexpectedly held your hand and leaned on you without saying anything.

You just squeeze his hand as anacknowledgement before continuing to come up with your song. After that interaction he started to become more and more affectionate.

Occasionally giving hugs, all kind of hugs really. Back hugs,side hugs, waist hugs whatever the variety. You would always return them two times the warmth. Sometimes he thinks your feelings were real or that youre maybe a good actor.

You guys know those ship edits on tiktok? The aliens would totally make them. You two would always watch it with amusement, sometimes amazed by some of their editing skills. You would always like each single edit.

Despite all the dates,affection,and loving interactions. At the end of the day he would always remind you that this was all for the public entertainment and to get more attention from the fans. On bad days, he would say rather hurtful things.

"Don't mistaken my affection to you as a real thing, none of it contain real feelings."

"Don't let it get to your head, this is nothing more than pure entertainment."

"This is just a key for more survival during Alien

Stage performance."

"We're just acquaintance, nothing more."

All what he said did hurt, a lot. But it was also true, he has to remind you that none of it was real. But at the same time you wished he didn't say those things to you, the least he could do is not remind you. You didn't sayanything, only nodding and agreeing to what he says despite the hurtful impact it had given you.

Haha, maybe you really are a masochist.

Currently you and Luka were doing a Collab performance forc-suggested by your owners for the fans. Luka as always, caught most of the fan's attention. You didn't really mind or find it upsetting, I mean he's much popular and talented than you so it was expected. You guys were down with the last line, the original plan was that the two of you were just gonna look at eachother in a loving way. But he had other plans..

While you two were singing the last line, he went even closer. You were unfazed by this, you had gotten used to him being so close to your face already. But what he did next caught you off guard..

He kissed you.

No not on the cheek or forehead. On the lips.

The cheers grew louder, the music had already stopped. But you were only focused on the feeling of his soft lips kissing yours. By then he had already pulled away, you can't help but linger more. stopped. He just smiled and looked at you with such fondness, but you already knew his kiss meant nothing to him.

After the performance you two went backstage, switching personalities. He always turned cold whenever you two weren't in public. His eyes held nothing but emptiness and disgust. You expected this but why does it still hurt? And as usual he always remind you in the end.

"The kiss meant nothing." He spat out, it made your heart ache. You hated to admit this but you grew feelings as the relationship went on. You couldn't control it really, Luka had always been a great actor. His charismatic and enthusiastic persona when he's in public, the way he's so affectionate with you and the way he talks so fondly as if he really were Inlove with you.

You couldn't help but hope he felt the same thing. It was starting to hurt so maybe letting this feeling go was for the best.

It was another start of a new season of alien stage. And it looks like your performance is the first, how lovely. You didn't really like joining Alien Stage, you never really liked seeing your opponents die. Why should someone die just because they weren't as good as their opponent. But you can't say anything about it, a sad reality.

So you always tried singing your best, constantly making your opponent feel comfortable and make them sing for fun instead of singing because they wanna live. You wanted their last moments to feel comfortable and fun rather than scared.

It's what gave you your well known title "The Siren". Many documents and news stated that you would often enchant your opponents by using your voice. Brainwashing them so that they'll lose. That was not the truth, you could tell that your past opponents enjoyed singing with you. Happy that they were able to sing with joy and not out of pressure. But you could careless about what the media thought of you. You had to practice for the performance.

Luka didn't know what to feel about you. He had already stated before that he did not have any feelings for you. You were nothing more than a mere acquaintance. But ever since this relationship had started, he started to feel more possessive about you. He always hated how you always smile to other people or aliens. The same smile you give to him, wasn't he supposed to be the only one receiving that smile?

He always hated when you give other fans affection too, whether it be a handshake or a pat on the head. He would always put his arm around yours and pull you away from them. Silently giving your fans a glare everytime they get too close. He always looked smug whenever you out your hand on his waist infront of your fans.

Throughout the relationship he started to take note of things your like,your favorites,and the type of music you like. Heck he might even know things about yourself you didn't even know off. He knows more about you. You would always try and point out the things he do but he always dismiss it by saying it could tarnish the view of the relationship.

Hm..now that he thinks of it he never really saw one of your performances with your opponents. He has heard alien's opinions and views about your performances but never really tried watching one. Maybe he should watch your performance tomorrow..

You were a bit shocked to see Luka sitting on one of the chairs in the backstage, as if he was waiting for you.

"Luka? What are you doing here, I thought you were gonna practice." You asked walking towards him, maintaining a distance from him. He silently took note of how further the distance than it normally is.

"Practicing would just bore me, I already know I'll win the round anyway." He responded lazily, you sweatdrop a bit but he wasn't exactly wrong. He can win matches without trying..

"I see but that doesn't exactly answer my question, what are you doing here?" You asked once more.

"I came to watch your performance. Is that a problem?" He asked, you quickly stummered ago dismiss that idea.

"N-no, not all!" You answered quickly "I just-this is just unexpecting since you never usually watch my performance.."

"Would it be so bad to watch my lover's performance?" He teased, getting closer to you. You subconsciously stepped back.

"Haha I appreciate what you're doing but you don't have to try so hard to convince the audience we're actual liver, I think we already fooled them.." You responded, he didn't exactly know what he felt just now but he did not like it. It felt like his heart disease had gotten worse when you said those words, but alas he was too prideful to say anything.

"I know, but can't hurt to be more cautious right?" He smiled sweetly but his aura gave off a malicious intention. You just nodded and looked away from him.

"Ah, I have to go. The performance will be in a few minutes." You quickly grabbed your mic and walked to the door "I'll see you after the performance."

He stood there silently, you were acting off than your usual self. Whenever he mentions about you two being lovers you would get flustered, covering your face in hopes it will hide your blush. It did but you didn't know that your ears turn red too, haha how cute. Either way the way you acted just now was weird. You looked awkward and stiff.

He just sighed and walked out of the door to the reserved VIP seats to watch your performance, he'd rather watch it in real life rather than those holograms.

Luka sat on his seat while waiting for the round to start. His owner had bought him a lightstick from your company's merchandise of you, saying he should use it to cheer you on. He didn't need that useless thing, he already knows you'll will this round effortlessly. He snapped out of his thoughts when the lights finally came on, the spotlight shining your opponent.

As always the opponent looks scared and pressured, their voice cracking a bit as they song. It seems like they know their fate in this round, that's good. But when it was your turn, the crowd went wild as the spotlight went to you. Ah..the poor opponent, they must feel so embarassed and inferior now.

But the next thing you did really made him almost break the lightstick in his hand due to how hard he gripped it. You decided to hold their hand and encouraged them to sing. Eventually they did, their voice wasn't cracking anymore,they weren't frowning and they looked like they were enjoying the performance.

You were dancing with them,you were smiling with them,you looked at them with fondness, as if they were your lover. The aliens around him silently moved away because of his malicious aura. They could've sworn they saw a deadly glint in his eyes just now.

The performance came to an end, the collar on the opponent's neck soon blew up, killing them. He felt satisfaction travel through his veins as he watched your opponents blood stain the stage. But he didn't exactly like how you looked sad as they died. Shouldn't you be happy? That you won and survived. Why are you feeling pity for a low life human that was lower than your status.

Soon you were led to the backstage by the robotic guards. He stood up suddenly, making the aliens flinch and back away. He paid no attention to them and focused on going to the backstage. He wanted to know what caused him to feel so angry by what happened.

He was expecting you at the backstage room but he saw you standing in the hallway, looking at something on your hand. He silently walked towards you and got on his tippy toes to whisper in your ear.

"Boo~" he whispered, you gripped the object in your hand and took a step back. You sighed knowing it was just Luka and not some crazy fan that got through security.

"Luka! It's just you, thank goodness.." You sighed in relief, hand still gripping the object. He looked at your fists and questioned you.

"What's in your hand?" He asked, you blinked before opening your hand to reveal a ring. What are you doing holding a ring? Was it for him? "Are you that eager to marry me already?"

Your face turned red at the suggestion "W-wait I didn't mean it like that?!" You rubbed your head by teasing nature "It was my opponent's ring, I accidentally pulled it when I was dancing with them."

His smile turned upside down when you explained, what are you doing with the ring of your opponent? He calmed down before taking the ring off your hands and looked at it. Hm, it looked quite expensive by the looks of it but easily affordable by him.

You looked at him with a confused expression, you never really saw take an interest in things like this. But you were shock when he decided to drop the ring to ground and stomped on it. You quickly yet gently pushed him away to do any more damaged. Unfortunately the ring was broken into pieces.

"Luka why did you do that?!" You looked at him with disbelief, he scoffed.

"Why are you so upset about it? It's just the opponent's ring, you have more things to worry about other than that useless thing." He spat out.

"That's still disrespectful! I can't believe you did that." You looked at him with disappointment. "What got you so worked up?! From the very you could care less about me, my interactions with my fans,and how I perform. You keep reminding me that this relationship, US, is just a contract. Why do you suddenly care about me no-.."

You stopped once you heard him sniff, you looked at him properly now. His face was turned away, his hair hiding his face but you could still see the tears that were about to fall from his eyes. He was trembling like he was out in the cold and his arms were tightened into a fist. You accidentally made him cry.

"Oh..oh I'm so sorry Luke--i didn't mean to yell at you like that." You gently hugged his body, his face burrying into your chest. Muffling the sound of his sniffing by how hard he's trying not to cry. "I'm sorry I'm just..just frustrated by this whole contract. I got attached and eventually fell for you but you kept reminding me that this was all a contract I just..couldn't control my emotions anymore.."

You confessed, he stayed quiet before weakly punching your chest. He pulled his face from your chest, his eyebrows were furrowed and his cheeks were red due to him crying. God you just wanted to scoop him up and kiss his face.

"I'm no better, I never had alot of chances to feel this kind of emotion. It was weird when I felt angry by how you treated your opponent, as if they were your own lover. I decided to take out my anger by making you angry.." He admitted, your eyes went wide by what he just stated.

"You were..jealous?" You muttered, he looked up to you with an embarassed expression.

"I was not!" He spat out.

"Are too, is that why you've been giving my fans glares all the time and pulled me away from them?" You laughed a bit, he pushed you away but your grip on him was tight.

"Okay now you're just teasing me." He scoffed

"But it's okay for you to tease me?..Luka..Luka don't ignore me please, Luke-" You sighed but smiled, alas your feelings are reciprocated. Although his possessive and obsessive issues are a tad bit scary..You already knew he has you wrapped around his finger. You fell for his trap.

[pyrodolls]

I love that Bayani is so damn clingy, but I would never confess that to him.

If we were unfaithful to him, would he still be with us?

if you were unfaithful (superfan! yandere oc x popstar! reader)

warnings: slight nsfw, mentions of vomit, cheating, death, stalking, depression, slight worshipper yandere, established relationship, lowercase intended, reader is gender neutral

a/n: hey guys peep the new acc layout and username omgggg! anyways thanks for all the birthday messages and also update on the bsf drama: i don't know for SURE if she's dating him, cuz she posted the picture of my ex but his face wasn't showing and the caption was talking abt her bf... so maybe she just HAPPENED to use that picture of my ex and the caption was talking about a whole different dude??? idk maybe im just delusional LMAOO but yeah i'm still friends with her cuz she's a total sweetheart and i'm sure it was just a coincidence. anyways sorry for taking such a long break, heres some bayani hcs!! btw guys... just between you and me... i too, am down bad for bayani and love how clingy he is. bring back kind and clingy men instead of men texting you "wyll" on snapchat

if you were unfaithful to bayani, he would most likely find out through the internet.

bayani is obsessed with you in every single way. so if he couldn’t be with you physically, he’d stalk you through the paparazzi or fans recording your concerts.

there was one concert that bayani unfortunately couldn’t attend. so he simply watched it through a fan’s livestream online. that’s how he noticed another popstar on stage with you. the crowd went wild and started screaming. the arena shook with the vibrations of your fans. the popstar with you started to sing and dance next to you. bayani was always jealous of anyone that got to be around you when he couldn’t, but this was different. the popstar on the stage with you was rumored to be dating you. fans on the internet had been speculating about your relationship for months, claiming that you two were “soulmates” and “secretly dating.”

it made bayani’s blood boil. but he knew it was bound to happen at some point, since you would often rant to him about how suffocating fame could be. he knew it wasn’t your fault. he wasn’t mad at you at all. he knew you still cared about him.

but the song ended, and the popstar next to you wrapped their arms around your body and connected their lips to yours.

the crowd started screaming once more, and the person recording the performance dropped their phone. bayani couldn’t see what was going on.

plus, the livestream was blurry so he couldn’t tell if you were pleased with the popstar’s advances or not.

either way, bayani dropped his phone and threw up.

the minute you arrived home from the concert, bayani ran up to you and grabbed onto your waist, clutching it desperately.

“was what i saw real? are you with that popstar now? are you saying the rumors i saw online were true? i tried to ignore them because i know how your fans can be, but still…” bayani babbled, crying as he spoke and his words slowly became unintelligible.

whether you were interested in the popstar or not didn’t matter. bayani would be on his knees, pleading for an explanation. he would spiral into a pit of self-deprecation, thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, so you went off with someone more attractive and more talented than him. he wouldn’t blame you at all. he wouldn’t be mad at you at all. he’d be mad at himself for not pleasing you enough.

if you weren’t interested in the popstar and it was simply a publicity stunt, you would have to gently hold bayani in your arms to calm him down and explain. he would be SO relieved. he’d still be upset, though. he would be relieved that you’re still interested in him, but he’d also be jealous someone got to kiss and hold you in front of millions of people. bayani would never tell you that, though. he’d try to suck it up and pretend that he’s cool with it, but you can tell he’s really upset (he’s a terrible liar) and you would have to reassure him that you’ll never do it again.

if you WERE interested in the popstar… uh wtf are you doing here?? jkjk but if you were actually dating the popstar, bayani would be crushed. he would probably beg you to stay with him and forget about the popstar, but he'd ultimately fail to convince you. he’s desperate, but he isn’t stubborn. if you rejected him over and over as he begged, he’d get the hint and leave you alone. he just wants you to be happy. as much as he hated seeing you with someone else, he’d want you to live your life however you want.

if you left him, bayani would fall into a deep depression, thinking he failed you. he would never be happy again. he would hate himself for messing up what could've been his perfect life. he could’ve been with you. he could’ve lived happily ever after as your servant for the rest of his life, but he wasn't good enough for you. even though you were the unfaithful one, he’d still believe you were the one in the right. it would haunt him for the rest of his life until he died.

[petday]

I make fandom art I make porn I make stuff that makes me miserable and I make stuff that makes me happy and I follow all the advice online but still nobody likes my art. I know it's good art and im not insecure about my talent level but no matter what I post or where I post it, nobody wants to like or interact with my art at all. I know people see it I know people are scrolling past without acknowledging what I make and it fucking sucks. I don't have friends to share stuff I make with and nobody online cares clearly. What do you do when nobody likes you or what you offer.

Good question. This response involves some of my history. I try to talk about my experiences at a comfortable distance. But please skip to the 'Solutions' part if you're bored.

My thoughts below:

It's painful. I have a lot of memories of high intensity pain due to no one engaging with me, at school and online. 'If I live in the same world as others, but it still feels like I am in a world with just myself, what is the point of trying to make things? Sure, I will feel better about myself as I grow, but I've still got no one to grow with, so I am just talking to myself. Amusing myself is fine, but I want to reach a level of fun above amusement, a level that others seem to reach so naturally.' 

In fact, maybe you are less 'outward' with your emotions, but as a child and teenager and young adult, there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about 'not being granted the ability to make things others will seriously engage with me about.' 

(The pain remained after making a few friends during teenage years. The pain's attitude shifted slightly to accommodate this new life change of gaining friends. Much later, even after I became an artist with a large visible number of 'followers/people interested in something you make', the pain shifted its shape around this life change again. "People make bad assumptions of me because I have a big visible number in my profile and most websites do not give me the ability to hide that number." Summary: If your pain/frustration still remains after you gain a friend or find people who engage you, don't beat yourself up. Emotions don't work in such a way that the outcomes you desire are only guaranteed to make you happy and no other emotions will rise.)

Although I loved to look at art on websites since I was a child, one may assume I enjoyed the community aspect. I did, but only as a spectator for the vast majority of the time, since age restrictions and the harsh attitudes that exist to 'prevent the weak from touching the strong' was present in many of the sites I visited. Similar to how children get frustrated when another child cannot keep up with their play, but the child that is 'left out' can still enjoy watching other kids play from afar. It makes perfect sense to me these feelings will always exist in the world no matter what 'social media' websites people invent.

Anyway, two solution attempts in succession I tried over long-term:

1. My first attempt at a solution was immersing myself in a fantasy world I created in my mind and I held my imagination in high esteem. "I know my imagination takes influence from the things I read and admire, so it's not such a lonely world anyway." Creating episode lists of imaginary cartoon episodes and such, so dedicated to something I hardly told anyone about. It felt good. But my friends had original characters too, and they could describe their personalities and dynamics to others naturally and quickly, likely due to their earlier experiences with 'communicating ideas to others.' I was quiet and envious. Although it was fun to play with the imaginary characters in my head, I decided to take another step. Of course I could not simply go back in time to gain the similar social experiences my friends had. But I could use that desire to 'go back in time' to 'go forward in time' and gain the experience.

2. Engage in others first. Because I spent a long time in my imagination, I felt more secure about myself, so I wanted to extend the feeling of 'caring about my own work' to 'caring about others' work on an equal level.' The internet allows you to assess people before engaging to see if your compatibility might be okay. If someone had posts that resonated with me, I tried to say 'hello, I like what you posted/I like your drawing because [...]' Even if the contact ended there, it was a good practice. Gently communicate with people over time. Especially since I am sure there are people who rarely receive questions about their artworks who would love someone to engage with them as well. Of course do not do this in a 'pity' sense – you have to genuinely find something that 'touches your heart' and if the artist seems to not get much curiosity in regards to their art, you can go ahead and try to express your curiosity to them. Keep posting whatever you like, but if you engage with others, you may find someone engaging with you without even expecting it, and that is fun.

(I think society should practice finding genuine value in things they like even if they see nobody has touched it. Not pity, but removing the "does anyone else like this? If I see no one else liking this, it must be a bad thing to like, so I won't engage" attitude. Some of my favourite artwork has maybe 5 visible 'bookmarks/favorites' on an art-focused website.)

[nerves-nebula]

this gonna be a bitchy post lacking in nuance but who cares. im annoyed.

child predators and abusers will use literally whatever is most effective to groom someone, that's kind of the whole fuckin point. pointing out that they can use certain media to groom kids is like pointing out that you can drink liquids. like yea you sure can. you can groom a kid through their interest in sesame street. you can groom a kid with adventure time. you can twist even the most harmless story book with a Nice Upstanding Moral at the end into whatever you want.

when i was in high school I basically fell in love with any teacher that gave me food cuz i was fucking starving and that's a way more effective way to gain my trust than like, idk, sketchy fandom porn. (which i also loved as a kid/teen but I never really talked to people online or in person about it cuz i didnt wanna get adults in trouble!) and if someone online was weird to me back then i just ghosted them cuz i didn't have to exist in meat space with them if they made me uncomfortable.

anyway back to my point: should we ban granola bars cuz they were a way to fast-track the trust of food insecure kids? the way some of y'all talk about abuse, and grooming in specific is so frustrating, like, what are you fuckin talking about. grooming is a series of actions a person chooses to take to get what they want, it's manipulation, what they use to groom people with is entirely situational and moreover irrelevant.

should we all just sit in 5 x 5 cubes and paint neutral faces on a canvas till we die or should we try to have systems in place to prevent adults from gaining so much control over kids just by being kind of nice to them. and that's not even getting into how censorship literally never works the way you might want it to. it's impossible to create censorship that isn't inherently bigoted and useless because the only people with the power to properly censor are the people with the most power in general. and they do not like the rest of us. and they are also often on the side of abusers, if not abusers themselves!

yall will gives thousands of notes to posts that basically say they want the haze code back cuz you're too dumb and reactionary to think about fucking anything other than "child abuse bad so i guess i agree." then go patting yourselves on the back without having helped a single child.

yall love to feel vindicated more than you care about victims. don't act like anything you do is for the survivors if your focus is always on retribution or censorship against the abusers. you don't care about us. you don't remember we even exist half the time. none of you have looked into what actually helps us, none of you internalize our complicated feelings, none of you are willing to ease up on your christian ideas of sex and sexuality unless we explain our entire traumatic backstories to you. and then you say we're broken and need help, as if what we don't really need is for you to back us up or leave us the fuck alone.

none of you care. you just wanna find acceptable targets for your anger so you can feel good about destroying the Bad Person. dont piss me off

[jasminewalkerauthor]

So you've wrote a book, what's next?

So I recently started uni and naturally immediately joined my universities writing and book societies, last week I was sat editing my book when a couple of people approached me. Apparently through some light instagram stalking they had found out I published books and was wondering how on earth do you even do it.

Upon being on tumblr this week it turns out that this is a question that a lot of people are interested in, this being probably my most requested post ever?

ANYWAY. You've wrote a book, either you're two drafts in or fifty drafts in it doesn't entirely matter. I am going to give you the bad news that the work has only just begun.

The first choice you really need to make is whether or not you want to pursue traditional publishing or self/indie publishing. I believe the common misconception of the difference between the two is that one is 'Easier' than the other. Both are hard, just in different ways.

Traditional publishing is hard to break into, you need to convince enough of people that your book is worth selling which can be incredibly difficult and results in a lot of heartbreaking emails. However once you have that publishing deal you have those people in your corner to help with editing, cover design, and distribution among other things.

Self publishing, much like the name suggests, means that you have to do everything yourself, edit (or source an editor), design (or source a designer), marketing, the works. However the plus side of self publishing which I like is that you have a lot more creative control and freedom.

Now to be fully transparent, I am an indie author, naturally I am going to know a lot more about a process I have actually gone through rather than one I havent. However I do believe I can provide at least a rough guideline of the process so that people can get an idea of what going into it.

So starting with traditional publishing, assuming that you have a full draft that you've at least done some self editing on, your first step is finding an agent. You'll need a couple of things for this. First is make a document of the first 30 pages of your manuscript (a 'sample' if you will), and a query letter which is almost like a cover letter for your book, this is what potential agents will look at to judge whether they want to represent your manuscript.

I dont think I need to say it but your query letter is VITAL, please take time with it, some agents may not even look at your sample if your query letter is bad.

Now, searching for agents is relatively easy, there are a lot of databases online that will give you a list of agents and whether or not they are accepting submissions. Most agents will also have a kind of 'wishlist' of manuscripts they're looking to represent (e.g. sci-fi, philosophy, high fantasy), look for agents with a wishlist that includes your kind of book.

Once you have an agent they will be able to go to different publishing houses with your manuscript, hopefully leading to a book deal at some point. From there the publishers will help with editing, design, and distribution.

With self publishing the process is a bit more complicated. First is the editing process. Either you can edit your own manuscript if you feel up to it or you can source an editor. There are three different editors you can hire: Developmental editor, Line editor, and Proof reader. Almost every editor charges per word of your manuscript.

I would also recommend looking for Beta readers, these are readers who will read through an early copy of your manuscript for feedback (These are NOT editors, more reviewers). There are also ARC readers who you send an early copy to about 2-3 months before release to build interest in your book.

When it comes to the actual publishing itself, there are two main publishing platforms: kdp and ingram spark. Both of these are three besides the fact that you will need to buy an ISPN for your book to use ingram spark.

I think i'll leave it there because this is LONG, but i may turn this into a series, what do y'all want to know about?

[faeiri-tft]

PLEASE do the toontown online rant i want it so badly

this post kinda got away from me, and by "got away from me" i mean this 3000 word toontown rant is Part One. there will be a Part Two to this later in which i actually talk about the fanservers i wanted to talk about. anyway let's go

toontown online (tto) was a children's mostly-turn-based subscription MMO released in 2003. after a few years of obviously being on life support, disney gave a one-month notice that tto (and several other games) would be closing on september 19th, 2013. on the same day the game closed, the fan-run server toontown rewritten (ttr) was announced (with multiple other fanservers/fangames/reimaginings being established since), and is a few months away from outliving the original game

see, one thing about tto that allowed fanservers to crop up so quickly and easily was that it had, um, interesting choices. very interesting choices. like, "kids could use a code injector to turn their backyards into giant mashed-together nightmarescapes"-level choices

(loose video description: a rabbit toon running around a chaotic mismash of rooms, obstacles, and npcs that Should Not Be There. audio caption: Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life".)

but ok let's talk about the actual game first.

toontown online (tto)

the game starts with you creating your player character - you can pick from eventually-9 species, a couple body types, and 2 dozen preset colors. the gender code is a spaghetti nightmare but you won't learn this until the fanservers come about so don't worry about it. you're then taken to the Toontorial, which explains maybe 20% of the game's mechanics before setting you loose into the main game

the toontorial also gives you the basic "plot", such as it is: Toontown is suddenly* under attack by a bunch of boring businessrobots called the Cogs. their goal is to turn toontown into a dreary gray featureless corporate hell; their business activities are so boring that they're physically painful to be around. luckily, they can't take a joke, so the toons have figured out how to defeat them: by playing pranks on them until they laugh so hard they Explode

*originally, the game installer had a little animation giving a backstory for the Cogs' creation. this was never referenced in game, removed pretty quickly, and i think even the devs kinda forgot it existed

that's...pretty much the whole story! in that context, your toon progresses through all of toontown, helping some mostly-pretty-interchangeable shopkeepers, reclaiming buildings from the cogs, eating ice cream, etc. occasionally, the cogs would Come Up With New Tricks (read: major content update) and the toons would Find A Way To Fight Back (read: same major content update). that was the closest thing to Plot, unless you count "the devs scheduled a bunch of invasions of high-tier cogs right before the game's closure". but...i doubt most the kids really expected a Plot. mickey mouse was there

the gameplay:

the Free Account

there were two...pretty different approaches to playing toontown online. when the game launched, there was a 3-day free trial to the entire game, after which you got kicked entirely until you subscribed. at some point, this was changed so that the first area, Toontown Central (TTC), was Always Free - you could do all of that area's quests/"taskline" and limited activities, indefinitely, and in theory this would make you beg your parents for the rest of the game

i have no idea if this actually got more subscriptions or not. from what i can tell it just spawned more warrior cats

(source)

there were. a Lot of warrior cats. there were some other social activities, too, such as Fashion Shows (with your limited range of clothes) and Begging Subscribed Players To Summon Cog Buildings To TTC and Getting Chat Banned. ...however, as one of the subscription kids i didn't really interact with this side of the game, so i'm not the best person to talk about it

2. the Paid Account

mmm look at those crisp clear graphics. hell yes

a subscription account gave you access to this whole map, along with all these areas' tasklines. to progress through the game, you must complete a variety of "ToonTasks" for the Toon Resistance (it's called that. their catchphrase is "Toons of the World, Unite!". you were giving disney money for this). these reward you by increasing your max health (your "Laff Points"), slowly unlocking more combat options, and sending you to different, higher-difficulty areas of toontown

some of these tasks were...longer than others. generally, though, they all boiled down to: "just go fight some cogs"

combat:

(source)

toontown battles are turn-based: the players use their attacks ("gags") first, and then any surviving cogs attack you with, usually, office equipment and puns thereof (unless the cog is e.g. a Loan Shark, in which case they can just fucking bite you). if you defeat a cog, it explodes; if the cog defeats you, you "go sad" and are sent back to the safety of the playground, lose your gag inventory, and can't leave until you heal.

early on, most your battles are 1v1, but later on almost everything is a multiplayer 4-ish-v-4.

an...interesting feature here in the game's early days was that you could only Type Your Own Words to someone who shared their "friend code" with you IRL. otherwise, you had to use this thing:

(source)

you had a set list of phrases you could string together, which generally covered most the things you wanted to say. but it could get frustrating when you wanted to have a real conversation with your toontown friends! so...as the source above mentions, people obviously found ways around the system. turns out that if you let players move objects around their houses, they will use that to Draw Letters and pass their friend code along regardless

eventually - before the warrior cats, of course - disney presumably realized this system was pretty goofy (🥁) , so the game got a real chat, albeit one that functioned on a very strict whitelist. my favorite is that it didn't let you type numbers, however you could just say won too tree for hive etc. like. disney i really don't know what to tell you. anyway

(isn't he charming)

cogs come in levels 1-12, with levels displayed above their heads, and as you'd expect their damage output and HP increase with their level. however, the game doesn't...actually show you cog HP? instead they have a little colored light on their chest that fades from green to red until they explode. you see numbers on all the damage you do, and you see your own HP/laff, but never the cogs'. also lategame cogs are Too Tall For You To See Their Level once they line up for battle (which isn't actually that bad but it's funny). there's a formula for HP per level, but it's never mentioned in-game. i guess someone can teach it to you but then you have to watch them type "a level tin cog has won tree too health" and is that really worth it

(as you can tell i just…don't get this. "my kid is practicing arithmetic with toontown!" - marketing angle expressly denied by god. the stealth edutainment was right there)

anyway! in theory, you have seven base combat options ("gag tracks"), which combine in a variety of ways:

toon-up, which restores your teammates' health;

trap, which does guaranteed high damage but only if someone uses lure;

lure, which stuns the cogs for a few turns and is the only way to make trap work

sound, which does low damage to every cog;

throw, which does medium-high-ish damage to one cog; multiple throws combined give percentage combo damage, and hitting a lured cog will also add percentage "knockback damage";

squirt, which is exactly like throw but less damage;

and drop, which does high damage but cannot hit lured cogs, and has low accuracy unless you hit the cog with something else first

each gag track has 6 levels, which you unlock by using that gag track a bunch. you can't carry as many of the high levels with you - i mean, putting one piano in your backpack makes perfect sense, but two is just silly, right

a few years into the game's lifespan, level 7s were added - these were huge AOE that you could regain with every 500 track EXP. there was also something called "organic gags" to promote the please-log-in-every-day gardening system

every player starts with throw and squirt, and throughout the game you slowly unlock four more gag tracks. your choices are permanent: once you have your six tracks, you're locked out of the seventh forever.

in theory, all of this opens up a huge variety of combat options!

in practice, the battle strategy looks something like this:

use sound

as mentioned, almost all of lategame will be 4v4 battles, which means sound will almost always outdamage everything on earth. you don't even need four foghorns (the highest normal sound gag) to break 200 AOE damage, and the highest health a cog EVER has is 200*. and two of the boss battles can reward you with gag restocks and heals that you can use mid-battle with no consequences (other than having to grind for those rewards a bunch). and failing THAT, you can just...ration your foghorns and take 2 turns to clear a set of cogs, interspersed with healing.

(*okay there was something called "v2.0 cogs" but they were...strange, and we just used sound anyway)

sure, once level 7s were added you could use those occasionally. and you could fall back on lure+throw if you didn't want to use your sound restocks. but even then, for most of tto's existence there was something called the "knockback bug" which. well. just look at it

(link for transcript. it's tvtropes sorry)

if you are a target-audience eight-year-old this translates to "lure + throw will only do enough damage if the cogs Feel like it." like it's really just insult to injury at this point. this was the result of One misplaced variable and was not fixed until the game closed

in the tto era, if you didn't have sound, you were kinda doomed to be kicked out of every fight forever

(bonus fun fact: there were Four entire battle themes and they were 40-second midi loops. let me out)

the bosses:

each of the four cog departments has a Boss Cog. to face off against them, you have to assemble a cog disguise and collect enough merits/stock options/whatever to be allowed into the boss's office.

(pictured: your convincing disguise)

when you enter, your disguise pops off due to Reasons, and you have to fight through...a bunch of waves of normal cogs. it's basically a really long normal battle. once the minions are dealt with, you have to, inexplicably, do a live-action battle against the boss themself:

(loose video description: four toons defeating the CFO by using magnet cranes to hit him in the face with safes for 32 seconds.)

the live-action rounds aren't supposed to go this quickly, but it's still...kinda strange? certain reoccurring game areas require Parkour, but there are no battles like this outside of the Four bosses. the CFO's room is the only place you see these cranes and they have A Lot Going On. the other 3 bosses have their own unique weird mechanics. before the first boss was added we neither had nor needed the ability to Jump. it's just weird

once you've defeated the boss, you're given a reward of varying usefulness (the best/most unbalanced reward type is Unites, which are a free heal or gag restock you can do inside or outside of battle. essentially lategame toons can simply choose not to die. riv2u etc.)

and, um. then you get some more merits/stock options/whatever and do it again. and again. and again. and again. and agai

the grind:

so the thing is that tto was a subscription mmo. every addition to the game had to be measured, above all, in terms of "how can we best get kids to beg their parents to give us money." this especially shows in the suit grind:

(source/source)

you have to defeat each boss 78 times in order to get all their laff points - and as you proceed, you have to defeat an increasing amount of cogs to even be allowed into the boss (although once you max you get in for free).

by far the easiest way is to run through the designated HQ facilities - basically, cog fights interspersed with some platforming or minigames. you only collect your merits/whatever at the Very End of the facility. the only way to increase what a facility gives you is if your last battle ends during an "invasion" - a timed period where One Specific Cog replaces all street cogs, usually summoned with boss rewards.

the sellbot HQ grind isn't so bad. bossbot HQ - the endest-game HQ - frequently requires you to do an hour-long facility and on six separate occasions you have to do seven of them. if the invasion ends before your final battle, you have to sit around until someone summons another. if you lose your internet connection because it's 2008, or if your parents make you come to dinner, or if hacking or the game's general bugginess cause a server reset because you're probably in the busiest district for the invasion bonus, you have spent that Entire Hour On Nothing. the CEO (bossbot cog boss) probably also takes an hour because you and your fellow players are 10

this shit, combined with laff points locked behind gardening (time-gated), racing and golfing (multiplayer minigames with absurd requirements), and fishing (RNG-based with some fish being absurdly rare. i watched my mom fish for one every day for a month), meant that maxing a toon took Years, if you managed it ever.

it wasn't, um. it wasn't good

ok so what else is wrong with this game:

i had "aged out of the game" (lol) by the early '10s, so i'm not the best person to do a writeup of the hacking/scripting situation of those days. that said, what i'm going to do is give you a few examples, and i want you to just...look at them

(source)

(source). early '10s youtube was funny i'm trying to decide if i miss it

(source). fun thing to note here is that other players had collision, so a swarm of t-posing toons could just barricade the gag shop if they wanted to

(video description: toon who has Replaced His Head Model With An Anime Logo throwing thousands of jellybeans at everyone) (cw mild flashing just in case? and also the feather headband accessory)

i should note that the Bring Me To Life vid i started with was client-side, meaning only the player could see their technicolor hellscape. this guy's face was server-side. i do Not Think you should be able to do that

(video description: a player demonstrating use of a bot to get into the nutty river district, followed by other players using it to go to different game areas)

the above video was posted on august 17th, 2013. if you don't want to watch an Unregistered Hypercam 3 recording at about 5 frames per second, what's going on here is:

the player goes to a specific location and says a specific speedchat phrase.

a bot toon teleports to their location and provides some prompts on how to use it

the player tells the bot, via speedchat, to teleport to the (currently closed from the outside) busiest district so the player can follow

these "taxi toons" were server-sided, persisted across server resets, were made by a future fanserver dev, had younger kids referring to them as a "glitch" as if this were something that could Accidentally Happen, and stayed functional until the game closed

like...a lot of the "hacking" was just baby's first script download. this one - afaict also created by the laughing man head guy - is like...the fact that after years of no substantial game updates, someone effectively programmed their own "QOL feature" (note: not actually good for the poor mid-00s server being turned into a clown car) into a silly disney MMO and it just fucking sat there for a year is just. it's just.

i don't know what this is. this is not Playing The Game Toontown Online. this is nothing. this is everything. there are comments from 2013 on some of these videos saying stuff like "hackers killed toontown", but your game cannot have this happen if it is not already dying

and, like...it was. i'm not sure how many moderators there were by this point, but at the very end of tto, the number of active devs was One. the original devteam recently brought this up at the 20th anniversary celebration: devs just...slowly started getting pulled from the game, one at a time. there were a few updates after bossbot HQ - Field Offices, which i've basically never heard anything good about in their tto form ever; the Silly Meter, a yearly event...thing whose main function was to add unskippable dancing-inanimate-object cutscenes to your street battles; Parties, which...yknow parties were okay actually. i accept parties. but they weren't exactly a Major Game Update like the ones that had come before. in 2011 we gained the ability to Wear Hats. in 2012 the test server got some actual QOL updates that never made it to the main game; the final test server update was some maintenance in february, and then nothing for 18 months. disney was not providing enough resources to address the scripting because disney was not providing enough resources to address toontown. imagine being the last dev standing on an MMO that was older than some of its players, was losing its business model to mobile gaming, and spent most of its life falling apart at the seams. just imagine it, for a second

it couldn't have kept going, not like this.

on august 20, 2013, the closing announcement came: we had a month left of toontown online. the test server shut immediately; subscription refunds went out, and the game became actually F2P for the month; the part of the announcement that went like "we're shifting our focus to other games!" made a bunch of twelve-year-olds hate club penguin as if club penguin wouldn't also close in a few years; all the holiday events went off at once; and...

there wasn't a "thanks for playing!" popup. everyone online just got kicked, all at once. it was finally over

hey wait.

[violetasteracademic]

What does it take for regifted jewelry to be romantic?

Rambling crap post that will literally only make sense of you have seen the movie The Family Stone but let's do it.

Sometimes I genuinely try to understand other ships. I actually really mean that, in a deeply authentic and non sarcastic way. If this shipwar wasn't so nasty, I'd engage with other people the way I do with my real, human, offline friends- some of whom are E/lucien's and G/wynriels. They are genuinely wonderful people who are not chronically online like we are (and we are, there's no point throwing that around as an insult) and they don't actually care that much. They are just going off vibes - but would be absolutely disgusted to see the violent misogyny and bullying that takes place here. We enjoy talking to each other about the ships, even when we don't agree.

Typically, when I am trying to understand something, I seek out more of it. I've asked my friends for fated mate book recommendations that match E/Lucien's story (meeting your mate, then genuinely falling for another person that is absolutely right for you in every way except for the fact that he is not your mate, and somehow the plot leads to falling in love with your mate that you don't like anyways because fate is always right and never makes mistakes, even if everyone is questioning it because you have feelings for someone else) and I haven't been able to find anything. The closest I can get is meeting your mate when you are possibly already in love/engaged/what have you to someone else and then you find out that person you are already with is actually the worst (aka Graysen) and then you wind up falling in love naturally and authentically with your mate. This is what makes it work. The person who isn't your mate showing his true colors and realizing you were wrong about them.

I think this is why Azriel's character has been rewritten to create a moment of the male Elain is actually into showing his true colors. Otherwise, her moving on to her mate that she isn't interested in just because the guy she likes rejected her literally doesn't make any sense. It can't be political machinations and the threat of violence and exterior motives and interference keeping Azriel and Elain apart. It has to be Azriel's personality and personhood, or the fated mates typical structure that I assume everyone is basing their thought process on falls apart.

I've actually been wracking my brain for years to find a piece of art or story that represents a piece of jewelry being regifted symbolizing the transference of a relationship and I FINALLY realized- my favorite holiday movie- The Family Stone! My God, the movie is literally named for the piece of jewelry, his mother's ring.

Finally having a piece to work with and pick apart allowed me to understand what elements are required to really pull off "regifting" to show that the gift is symbolically landing where it needs to go in a moving and romantic way.

1: The jewelry must not have been picked out and purchased for a specific woman, with deep and thoughtful insights as to why the man saw this piece of jewelry and thought of the woman he loves. In The Family Stone, the ring is an heirloom. It is no one's ring but his mother's. And the journey of this stone landing on the hand of the woman that is right for Emmet is deep, complicated, and heart breaking.

This is not the case for Azriel, who saw the rose necklace (very widely agreed to symbolically represent Elain on all sides) and saw something that the full depth and color was revealed when held to the light, a thing of secret, lovely beauty. And he knew it was meant for Elain. My God. Jfc. That's poetry.

2: The original recipient of the gift must actively show displeasure or disappointment in the jewelry- further revealing that this is the wrong woman.

In The Family Stone, Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker), the "first" and "wrong" woman sees the ring on her little sister Julie's finger (Claire Danes) and while there is some drama (the ring symbolically gets stuck on Julie's finger lolol) Meredith looks at the ring and hilariously goes- "That's it?" because the diamond is so small. She doesn't like it. She wouldn't want to wear it. Meanwhile Julie was stunned. She lost her breath over its beauty and was overwhelmed.

Elain was also stunned and breathless at how beautiful her gift was. She wants to wear it immediately, and she wants him to put it on her. The act of this beautiful, thoughtful gift emboldens Elain to do something she has never done before: Blatant, unrestricted touching. Even while the man she is supposed to be with, the man whose gifts do disappoint her, sleeps upstairs. So the classic holiday romance trope of one gift is right and one gift is wrong is already playing out. From Elain's perspective, the woman who will demand a say in who she chooses and is the only confirmed FMC, she's been getting disappointing gifts from her mate for years. When she finally sees a gift that steals the air from her lungs and lights up her eyes, a gift she wants to wear and use immediately after years of lukewarm responses to the man she is "meant" to be with, it's romantic as fuck. Unless you don't like her and don't want her with Azriel, in which case it isn't romantic to you personally. However, personal opinion on Elain doesn't actually change the fact that after years of many of us already assuming Az and Elain were into each other, they had an extremely classic holiday romance reveal.

4: The act of changing your mind about who will receive this gift, in order for it to be romantic, must be an act of hope. An act of joy and dreams and revelation. Realizing that there is more out there for you, and after years of playing it safe, of trying to make it work for the wrong reasons with the wrong woman, you are ready to be brave and break your character patterns to act on that dream of happiness.

Near the climax of The Family Stone, we discover that Emmet's mother, the keeper of this ring, has had her breast cancer return. It is already clear she is not going to make it this time.

We learn that Emmet has been acting out of trauma, grief, and loss. He cannot wrap his mind around the thought of getting married without his mother being there. In a heart breaking scene, Sybil finally gives Emmet the ring she has been refusing the entire movie and lets him know it is his decision. But she also frees him from the horrible pressure he has placed on himself to get married while she is still alive. She wishes passion, joy, and happiness for him. She helps him cope with the loss of her, helps him heal the wound and burdens he carries of trying to be the Perfect Son and do everything right. All she wants for him is happiness and love. But ultimately, the decision is his.

In a rush of hope and healing, Emmet asks Julie to try the ring on. He wants to see it on her. It is a culmination. It is powerful, emotional, and restorative. In this story of brothers and sisters coping with the loss of their mother and trying to find their personal happiness, they all wind up together in the end. Meredith winds up telling Emmet she can't marry him, before he even reveals he decided not to ask her, because they both knew it wasn't right. It was so clear that they weren't in love with each other, but just trying to fit this ideal picture for reasons that had nothing to do with love. Still, Meredith isn't a villain, and winds up falling in love with his brother. The next year, everyone but Sybil gathers as a family, the first Christmas without her. The grief is palpable, but so is the love. The image of Sybil smiling at her gathered family through last year's gifted photograph of her ends the movie.

Azriel's regifting of Elaine's necklace was not a culmination. It was not an act of hope, it was not Azriel releasing Elain because he realized his love for her was not genuine and there was real and true happiness to be found in G/wyn. He did not even care to give it to her directly. He gave it to Clotho, who absolutely read the vibes and noted his sadness. He didn't even care if it wound up with Gwyn or literally any other priestess. He needed to relieve himself of the necklace because of the pain of not being able to be with Elain, just like Cassian yeeted his first Solstice gift to Nesta into the Sidra after her rejection. Regifted or getting rid of gifts as an act of pain is not romance. It is not even symbolic of a change. It only reflects a man who is hurting because he has nowhere to channel his love and longing.

What I find odd is that most people do agree that Az regifting the necklace via Clotho is absolutely not romantic, thus Azriel incel fuckboy (which literally makes no sense) was born. For the necklace regift to hold the symbolism that G/wynriels want it to hold (a sort of passing of the torch of Azriel's affection and attention) they agree that this is icky and gross behavior but G/wyn will fix him and he'll stop being icky and gross. I'd ask for recommendations on romances like that to try to understand that thought process as well, but frankly I am not interested.

Azriel getting rid of the necklace was not an act of hope, it was an act of pain. It was lot an act of love, it was an act of loss.

A change in who a gift belongs to can be romantic, with the right elements. The great ACOSF bonus chapter necklacegate has none of them. And yet somehow, even though everyone agrees it wasn't romantic, people are still out here arguing that it clearly symbolizes a new romance.

I assure you, romance symbolizes romance. It shouldn't be tricky or leave you feeling icky or like the MMC is flaky and entitled. I cannot think of a single romance author who thinks it's a good idea to sit down and write toxic fuckbois as MMC's. Even if they were toxic fuckbois in the past, they IMMEDIATELY simp for their women. As of now, Azriel still hasn't noticed G/wyn, his supposed mate, and is hurting and heartbroken over another woman that he would kill for if asked to. He is not coping with it by raking about town and looking for a new girl to fall in love with since he was ordered away from the one he wanted. He's just training, not sleeping, and putting rocks in snowballs.

When trying to determine what is being foreshadowed as romance, if we have to stretch beyond asking the simple question what is romantic, I fear we have lost the plot.

[justenjoythegossip]

THE SHOWER PORN AND A FEW FICTITIOUS MYTHS…

Recently again, I have come across the fictitious myth that Alba posted her shower porn to deflect from her racist and antisemitic stuff that was uncovered by (more likely leaked to) Chris’ fandom a few days earlier. 

But I would argue that this explanation for her posting herself stripping in the shower has little to no credibility. I will explain why, share my theory about what likely went down and the clues that point to it. I will also use this opportunity to debunk a few myths that have plagued this fandom for a very long time…

Usual disclaimer: I have no insider knowledge and have 0 contact familiar with this shitshow and the protagonists.

Her posting a shower porn was likely an act of retaliation to embarrass Chris…

When someone posts their nudes online, it can be either accidental or purposeful. If the posting is purposeful, it cannot be about deflecting from an existing PR crisis for the sole reason that the distraction would only work temporarily. The thing you are trying to deflect from would come back and bite you (on the butt) very quickly AND you would have added a sex scandal to the mix. Not the greatest move. Especially when you are a woman. Men tend to go unscathed or even end up benefitting from such scandals, but it’s rarely the case for women because… double standards and misogyny, you know? 

So the reason someone would post their nudes, a sex tape or in this instance a shower porn is to find elsewhere. It is most likely to get attention. The question is: what kind of attention and from whom?

I suspect it was actually Chris’ side that leaked the receipts showing her to associate with racist/antisemitic people in what turned out to be a successful effort to silence her. The reason his team likely tried to keep her quiet is probably because she had made a couple of very costly mistakes prior to that.

What made Chris’ team want to silence her and get her under control…

Her first mistake was to post the now debunked fake yoga certificate so that she could place herself in Atlanta with Chris. It probably forced his team into damage control mode, as they had to get assistance from a yoga studio based in Atlanta and a couple of its members that helped corroborate Alba’s claims. But her most aggravating mistake was posting her mother’s age on Instagram, very shortly after people commented on the fact that Chris was closer in age to Alba’s mom than to Alba herself. It was a catastrophic move on her part because, it showed she and his team were lurking on SM, it showed how thin-skinned and rash she is and worse it drew more attention to the age difference and terrible optics of this “relationship”. 

Leaking her problematic stuff likely served as a warning shot to behave and stay quiet or else she would be destroyed. And that’s probably why she posted that shower porn, to embarrass Chris and get a semblance of revenge. I believe she felt safe doing that anyway because a marriage was already in the pipeline.

But notice that she has kept quiet since then. You can compare her SM activity before that event and after she came back to Insta, and it differs greatly. And of course, her problematic stuff never reached the general public. 

Do people remember the GQ event in Portugal where she refused to talk to the media and was said to be rude? It was most likely because that poor Nazi troll wasn’t allowed to speak. Her only job was to flash “her” ring in order to honor one of their sponsors and that was it. 

But she did manage to post a video of the rings with her soulmate Justin to try and embarrass Chris once more. 

Why a talent agency would seemingly work against its client’s best interests…

Of course, some people might think this theory has little credibility because leaking her problematic stuff doesn’t reflect on Chris well. But I believe that not only did the talent agency not mind this little problem, but they actually welcomed it. First of all, they made sure her problematic stuff never reached the general public, as this information was only destined to his fandom. But more importantly, why not charge more hours to your client to manage a crisis you have created yourself? That’s actually quite the smart savvy business model and that’s “capitalism” for you. 

It might be too cynical for some but we are talking about a company that allegedly dabbled in sex trafficking by providing actresses to a famous disgraced producer so that he could sexually assault them. They then allegedly helped cover the scandal by helping him destroy the lives of the women who dared speak up. So this shitshow, that would be kids’ stuff for them, wouldn’t it?  

Of course, such tactics have helped decrease Chris’ market value or help accelerate it but as you have noticed, all of his upcoming projects (excluding Red One) are CAA-backed, so they basically get him for cheaper. And Marvel is likely the only place where he can still get huge paychecks these days but they will get a big chunk of that anyway so basically it is a win-win situation for the talent agency. 

Of course, it’s difficult to know what is happening behind the scenes and it’s just speculation on my part but I suspect they no longer have much faith in Chris’ career and future. A few critically panned projects and commercial flops may have helped reinforce their strategy and it seems like that they are trying to squeeze as much money out of Chris as quickly as they can. 

The legend that Chris’ fandom is like the FBI is a great cover story…

Rumors are that the fandom uncovered Alba’s past and exposed her, like they have uncovered so much of Chris’ business over the years. But I suspect this is a lie. A very practical lie by the way. 

Because the legend that Chris’ fandom possesses the most amazing investigative skills has served two purposes. First of all, it has enabled the fandom to feel good about themselves as they could pat themselves on the back for being such great detectives. And yes, I would argue, it was a good thing to try to make a loyal fanbase feel good about themselves, especially when they are so easily and so often thrown under the bus. But more importantly, this legend has been used to cover the fact that this fandom has been infiltrated for years and has been fed information directly from his team. On this platform (which sponsored his NY con) and other SM platform. I have discussed it previously and have used many examples to illustrate that. 

Like a Team Real blog having a picture of Chris’ dog at the daycare center. Like a blog which made a (non)sensical U-turn from Team PR to Team Real (a very practical trajectory that I explained in a previous post) who allegedly recognized a hotel room in Finland or in… Lisbon!

Let’s talk for a second about the video Chris did in his hotel room in Lisbon for that teacher. Isn’t it amazing how quickly people found out where Chris had shot this video? Isn’t it tragic how that poor teacher allegedly had to quit her job because Chris’ crazy stalker fans harassed her? 

People would be smart to question the veracity of this story as it is likely totally fictional. It did serve at least 2 purposes. First, it helped reinforce the crazy fan narrative that has been shoved down our throats for years and more importantly it helped place Chris in Portugal, which was the whole point of this little video. His team leaked where Chris was (something they have done very often) to breadcrumb his relationship to Alba, so that his fans could connect the dots. Do people remember the first articles that came out after Chris and Alba became official? They all put so much emphasis on the fact that his fans figured it all out and put 2 and 2 together when Chris and Alba were trying so hard to be private. Because private people always breadcrumb their relationship on Social Media, don't they?

But it was nothing new for Chris as he was flirting very ostentatiously and so privately with Jenny on Twitter back in the day...

[hetalian-veteran]

The Curious Case of Hetalia's Scotland

I will never get over what I like to call "The Curious Case of Hetalia's Scotland." Not only because I find it funny, but because to me, this is something that demonstrates the pure power of fandom and fanon.

Because for the longest time, we didn't really have Scotland in the series. Like, we knew he was technically a canon character, seeing as he was mentioned by England a time or two before, but we had no design or skits of him at the time. Not to mention those comments were only made in the comics, which many fans didn't read, seeing as many of us only stuck to the anime for the longest time (which is me, I am many fans. I am still trying to find the courage to read the manga aside from little panels I find online).

And so, what did the Hetalia fandom do? Well, the fandom did what the fandom does best... Taking matters into their own hands and creating their own design for the character/country.

I'm not gonna put an actual picture of the fanon design here because I don't want to repost anyone's art without their permission, but if you look up "hetalia scotland" on google, and then click on "images", you'll get the picture of what I'm thinking of. A tall guy with pale skin, bright green eyes, fiery red hair, and wearing a cobalt-blue suit with two white sashes across the front. A man who literally just looks like a human personification of the Scottish flag.

Now, I have no idea who came up with the fanon design for Scotland. I've looked, and I genuinely cannot find out who the first person was who drew him. But regardless, this is the design that the fandom largely latched onto. So much so to the point where you had people making fanart, fanfics, and even cosplays of this character. People even collectively decided on his personality, interests, what his relationships with other the characters were like, etc. (This can all be found on the fan character wiki). It even got to a point where I, as well as many others, genuinely started to believe that this was the canon design/version of the character for the longest time. Primarily because we just didn't know any better.

In short, the fanon version of aph Scotland spread far and wide throughout the fandom, and everyone seemed to just largely accept him, even to the point of believing he was canon.

And then one day, Himaruya drops this sketch.

He posted this and said that the characters here were Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales. However, he didn't say who was who, so we were left to guess which character was which at the time. We were getting closer to a canon Scotland but were still unsure which one he was. And even then, you had people who still clung to the fanon version.

And the later, Himaruya formally introduced Scotland in the comics and even released this piece of official, beautiful art.

Fully illustrated designs of all of the UK brothers. England, Northern Ireland, Wales... And Scotland.

This was it. We, as the fandom, finally had our canonical version of Scotland, as well as the rest of the UK brothers. But let's be real here, when it came to fanon-created characters, the fans largely latched onto Scotland.

And what did a large chunk of the fandom do?

That's right. I dunno about everyone else in the fandom, but in the fan spaces I was in, you had a large chunk of people who took one look at the canon design and thought to themselves, "Yeaaah no. We like our version better."

And I just... This is still so funny and wild to me.

Imagine waiting years to get a character design, and when the design finally comes out, you have since become so married to a fanon design, that when you look at the canon design, you go, "No thanks."

It seems like people have become much more accepting of the canonical design of aph Scotland over time (and I'm happy for that), but even so, the sheer reach and influence that the fanon design of Scotland had is nothing short of amazing to me.

Anyway, there you go, that's my ramble for the day.

[myeagleexpert]

【ＨＥ　ＳＡＩＤ　ＴＨＡＴ　ＡＮＤ　Ｉ　ＷＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＦＯＲＧＥＴ　ＩＴ】

You know those important parts where you use the highlighter to highlight something important? So, my dear player, that's what we have here. Some interactions between the characters x yuu and the interactions between them that make me think a lot about the character they are!

Pt1: Heartslabul - Savanaclaw - Octavielle ( You're here!)

Pt2: Scarabia - Igynia - Pomefiore - Diasonia ( Loading...)

Wₕₐₜ ₐᵣₑ yₒᵤ dₒᵢₙg ₕₑᵣₑ? ₜₕₑ Qᵤₑₑₙ wᵢₗₗ cᵤₜ ₒff yₒᵤᵣ ₕₑₐd!

"Trey enthusiastically said he’s going to bake a strawberry tart for my birthday party. Make sure you come to eat some too. …Well, it not like it’s a Rule of the Queen of Hearts or anything"- Birtday Union

"Thank you for coming to celebrate my birthday. …Eh? You’ve hidden my present somewhere in the Heartslabyul dormitory? I see now. The answer to the riddle on this card must reveal the location of the present. Heh, you’ve sure come up with something rather interesting. Well, since you’ve gone through the trouble of planning this for me, I suppose I’ll just have to play along."- Birtday Union

"You are as energetic as ever today, I see. No, this isn’t any sort of rebuke. I truly do hope to see you enjoying my birthday party to the fullest."- Birthday Union

((he deserves to have more light and fun moments, and eat lots of strawberry pies))

"Don't worry, if you get lost, I'll come searching for you. I'm pretty used to looking after my siblings, so I'm sure I'll find you quickly."- Playfull Dress

"Thanks for celebrating my birthday. But I have to say, I wasn't expecting you to have my gift delivered to my dorm like that. You should have just handed it to me directly, since we were meeting up, anyway. Was I shocked? Well, yes... Ah, so it was supposed to be a surprise present! Haha, oh man. You're always finding ways to startle me."- Platinum Jacket

"Riddle’s got a pretty tight handle on everything, there’s not much for me to do as his Vice Dorm Leader. I’m basically just here as decoration." - Cerimonial Robes

"You want to take a picture of me? You’re the record keeper, so just do as you like. …It’s more nerve-wracking if you know you’re being watched, you know?"- Outdoor wear

"Oh, good timing. Help me carry these dishes. Of course, there’s some for you and grim too."- Outdoor Wear

"Hm, you want a scarf? Well... Oh, maybe if I ask Sam, he can lend you a spare one. Just wait a sec."- New Year Attire

"Do you have any plans for the winter this year? If not, what if you got a temp job at a cake shop...? Haha, I'm just kidding."- New Year Attire

((he's so big brother material, I love these little moments of him being so attentive))

"Amusement parks are so rad～! Why don't we take a selfie together right here at the gate? Think of it as the first of many to remember today!"- Playfull Dress

"Oh hey, think you'd want any popcorn? If so, tell me your favorite flavor. Your boy Cay-kun'll get it for you."- Playfull Dress

"Thanks for coming to celebrate my birthday! I’m super stoked! You’re gonna give me whatever I want for my birthday? Well, if you say that… it might make me want to ask for something huge. I’m kidding, don’t worry! How about we go skateboarding together? We can do some sweet tricks and post some pictures online!"- Birthday Union

" “#Birthday #NRCUnionJacket #SpecialMadeForCay-kun” …You know I totally gotta brag about today’s special outfit!"- Birthday Union

" Why are you looking at me like that while petting the tsum? You’re making Cay-kun feel so conflicted～"- Tsum Event

"Pfft, your hair is all over the place from all the wind. Sooo laaame… Eh, mine, too!?"- Playfull Dress

"The whole point of birthdays is definitely the presents. So what did you get your dearest friend Ace-kun, then?"- Birthday Bloom

"I’m good with not dating anyone yet. 'Sides, I’m already busy looking after you lot."-Suitor Suit

"A word of warning. Until I say it’s safe to, deeefinately don’t look up at the ceiling… Juuuust kidding! Haha, did that scare you?"- Halloween

"The basketball club's most promising rookie has arrived! You better not take your eyes off my fresh plays, 'kay?"- Club Wear ((He's a little shit, but I'd root for him in the front row))

"Practicing passes with Floyd is basically a matter of life and death. But that's 'cause he's always throwing them at breakneck speeds!"-Club Wear

"Hey, we should all play basketball together sometime soon. If we invite Deuce or whoever, we can probably get a 3-on-3 game goin'.-" Club Wear

"Are you going to come cheer for me at my next track meet? Then, I definitely can't do anything uncool. Just you wait and see how I do!"- Club wear

"You want me to show you the awards I've gotten from my track meets? You bet! I was hoping I'd get to show you."- Club Wear

"I bet if you, me, and Grim just go ham talking about all that happened today when we get back to school… Ace’ll get crazy jealous."- Rabbit wear

"I think I was able to help my mom feel a bit of relief. And that’s because you all came with me, so, thanks."- Rabbit wear

"I can’t believe you’re here to wish me a happy birthday… Today’s such an amazing day. …Oh, shoot. I definitely have some kind of weird look on my face right now, don’t I? Sorry, I just got so happy I couldn’t help this wide grin. Anyway, thanks so much, Prefect! I’ll make sure to keep doing my best to be someone deserving of your celebrations!"-Birthday Union

((he is my good little boy, I love him, Deuce you live in my heart))

​🇹​​🇴​​🇳​​🇮​​🇬​​🇭​​🇹​, ​🇮​​🇳​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇬​​🇷​​🇪​​🇦​​🇹​ ​🇯​​🇺​​🇳​​🇬​​🇱​​🇪​, ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​ ​🇸​​🇱​​🇪​​🇪​​🇵​​🇸

"They got bone-in meat to eat right there, and you still order the salad. And that's why you're a herbivore."- Playfull Dress

"You don't have to call my name over and over again, I hear you. I'm just staying silent so I don't ruin all your amusement park excitement."- Playfull Dress ((Are we going to delude ourselves and dream that he was admiring us the whole time? Yes))

"A horror attraction? Sure, I'll tag along with you for that, 'cause I bet I'll get to hear some good screams from you herbivores."- Playfull Dress

"You have my utmost gratitude for such a splendid celebration. …There, I thanked you. I’m not saying it again."- Birtday Boy

"You want to make me happy? Hahah! What fine intentions coming from a herbivore. I’m looking forward to it."- Birthday Boy

"Sneaking up behind me like that, were you attempting to surprise me? Aah, my bad. I’ll pretend I didn’t notice, so go on, continue."- Birthday Boy

"You’re just going to carry drinks around and not even toast with me? Hey, bring a glass for yourself too."- Birtday Boy

"Did this sword catch your eye? The motif of the hilt seems to be a jellyfish. I can let you borrow it, but don’t swing it around."- Halloween ((Would you also have a jar of dirt too? Asking a friend))

"You can’t trust someone who smiles all the time, like Jade. Usually guys like me end up being the more trustworthy ones, you know?"- Halloween

"Doesn’t matter who the opponent is. The only one deserving a win is me"- Beastly Garb

"Magic is strictly forbidden in Catch the Tail. Maybe I’ll train you up for the next one… I kid, this ain’t ever happening again."- Beastly Garb

"Back home, there were a ton of people who took issue with my sense of fashion. You wouldn’t do that to me, hmm?"- Gala Couture

"The rich folks from the Scalding Sands are much richer than royal families in other countries. If you want to butter someone up, you’d have better luck with Kalim"- Gala Couture

"Well, aren’t you super meticulous on something as simple as a cake cutting. I don’t really care how you do it, but just get it done before tomorrow comes."- Blooming Birthday

" I had Cater delete all the pictures he took. Obviously, I asked him nicely. Yeah, that’s right, I’m such a shy boy."- Blooming Birthday

"If you’re going to act all high and mighty, I’m going to expect something grand from you, y'know? So hurry up and bring out my present, already."- Blooming Birthday

"Wouldn’t ya believe it, Vil gave me a sewing kit. Something this special deserves to be shoved in the far back of a drawer for posterity."- Blooming Birthday

"If it’s survival, leave it to me! My experience is different from all the other guys."- Outdoor Wear

" You wanna know the trick to fishing? Hmmー …How ‘bout I trade you for those nuts you’ve got in your hand?"- Outdoor Wear ((What nuts? THESENUT--))

"Grim-kun stole your food? Guess it can’t be helped, here, I’ll share my grilled fish with you. Now you owe me one! Shishishi〜"- Outdoor Wear

"Shishishi, you totally remembered my birthday, right?"- Union Birthday ((It's marked on my calendar, my hyena))

"Thanks for celebratin’ my birthday with me! Since it’s my big day, we should go grab some grub and… Ah! Oh noooooo, this is sooooo terrible, I forgot my wallet… I guess I can’t buy… Eh, you’ll treat me? Really? Maan, it’s really great having such a generous junior like you! C'mon, let’s go, let’s go. Shishishi～" - Union Birthday

"Can’t believe a talkin’ portrait wished me a happy birthday… ’S not something I woulda ever been able to imagine happenin’ to me while I lived in the slums."- Union Birthday

"The guys in the magical shift club gave me some powdered sports drinks. I love gettin’ practical gifts like that!"- Union Birthday

" If you’re gonna come check out our practice, make sure you bring us refreshments! Like sports drinks, nutritional jelly drinks, or even doughnuts!"- Club Wear

"My nickname “Disc Thief” is pretty well-known, so maybe I might get scouted by some pro team with their eye on me… Nah, that’d be too good to be true."- - Club Wear

"We can hear Leona’s voice pretty good even when we got noisy spectators durin’ a game. Guess lions just got a healthier roar to ‘em." - Club Wear

"Even if you can’t use magic, you can still join our club. We got a ton of stuff for a manager to get done!" - Club Wear

(Leona simps… do you think his snores are loud too? And during… NO I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT)

"Hey, are you here to celebrate my birthday? Thanks for coming all this... Wait, you just wanted me to show you my homework? Do you own homework! Geez, don't mislead me like that... ...What is this box? Is it a present? O-Oh. Then, I'll gladly take it... Hey, you didn't do all this just to get a kick out of how I'd react, right?" -Platinum Jacket

"Ah, you wasted no time in coming. …You’re not scheming to horseplay around on my birthday, are you?" - Union Bithday

"You want me to take a picture of in this outfit and send it to my family? …Well, I guess that’s fine. Th-Then… please take one for me." - Union Bithday

"Thanks for the birthday wishes. …Something I hope for in the coming year? I want to grow some more. Eh? I’m already big enough? …I’m not talking about my height! I mean I want to mature more. Whenever you’re around I end up feeling so dazed. It must mean I’m relaxed around you. Thanks." - Union Bithday

((i mean… he's already our big boy… I hope the wolf form grows bigger and bigger too, my cute puppy))

((I feel like Yuu feels lighter and more playful around Jack, to the point of making pranks and having fun together <3))

ɐɐǝs ǝɥʇ ɹǝpu∩ ɐɐǝs ǝɥʇ ɹǝpu∩

"Oh my, I see how your eye shines so... If you've taken a liking to that painting, I shall order a reproduction for you. At a discounted price, of course." - Platinum Jacket

"Young love is wonderful. There is no end to the troubles that come from it, so it's quite a favorable emotion for those of us who impart counsel." - Platinum Jacket

"Laying out on the beach to watch the sunset is actually rather lovely, isn't it?"- Beach Wear

" The water around this island is unbelievably delightful. The water is warm and there are no predators. It is a far cry from my hometow."-Beach Wear

"If I were to describe the Coral Sea in one word, it would be "vast." If you ever decide to visit for a vacation, you may come to regret it. "- Beach Wear

"What could you possibly... ...Oh, it's you. I thought it may have been Stitch-san coming to pester me once again."- Beach Wear

"You may leave it to me to lead us in this dance. Allow me to show you just how much effort I've put forth."-Masquerade Dress

"You wish me to take your picture? Of course, I don't mind whatsoever. Now, what should I ask for in return?"- Masquerade Dress

"Oh, my, are you sharing your pastries with me? I would be elated to take some off your hands. It is rather nice that I can try so many in smaller portions."-Masquerade Dress

" What is it? Eh, oh, I look good in this outfit? ...Fufufu, whatever are you scheming? Please, do tell."-Masquerade Dress

"Jade poured this tea as his gift to me. Only... He had this strangely good-natured smile on his face as he did so. ...Would you care to drink it?"- Bloom Birthday ( you littl-)

"I don't understand why candles are inserted into the cake... Sure, it's lovely to see the flames dance in the dark, but it ruins the cake's presentation when it comes time to eat it." -Bloom Birthday

"Something I would like? ...Then, please sing a birthday song for me. Come, you'll sing for me, won't you?"-Bloom Birthday

"Azul can grant any wish," they say. ...Would you like to see if the rumors are true?- Ceremonial Wear

and this duo dialogue? BOYYY

Azul: I am so honored to be paired with you, Jamil-san.

Jamil: Get moving instead of just flapping your lips, Azul.

(suck this up octoponk)

"Down in the ocean depths, the Sea Witch's favorite lipstick is very popular. The container is even shaped like a seashell... I recall gifting it to my mother once, as well."- New Year ((I have a wish for my birthday present, and I think you do too))

 "Do go on, Tsum-san, do whatever you please. It's alright, I shall be watching over you."- Tsumsitter ((Go ahead little creature, spread chaos, I'll be admiring your work))

"Allow me to show you how wonderous the mountains truly are. I do so hope that you will want to join the Mountain Lovers Club afterwards."- Outdoor Wear

"I brought along a very large backpack, but it is mostly empty. That is so that I will be able to bring home some of the nature's bounty as souvenirs."- Outdoor Wear

"It is more crucial to use your intellect when it comes to potionology, rather than magic. Since you have no magical abilities, don't you think this would be the perfect subject for you?"- Lab Wear

"Could you tell me your favorite dish? It may be a good addition for the Mostro Lounge menu."- Lab Wear

"Have you ever heard the phrase "haste makes waste"? ...Never mind, how foolish of me to ask."- Lab Wear

"In the Mountain Lovers Club I founded, we study the flora that we've collected. ...Oh, does this pique your interest?""- Lab Wear

"May I help you? ...I'm afraid it is somewhat difficult to continue exercising when you're staring at me so intensely."- Pe Education

"You are quite... No, nevermind. You do realize that courage and recklessness are two different things entirely, yes?"- Pe Education

"You wish to climb Moln Mountain? I understand how you must feel, but... Snowy mountains are quite dangerous. It may be better for you to build up your climbing experience little by little first."- Apple Boa

((I don't know about you, but Jade's sentences wander from a nice person to someone suspicious)) ((Do you want to know something? Everything that comes out of his mouth is a trap, suspicious as hell))

"Here, Shrimpy-chan, you can have my fries. Nah, you don't gotta thank me. I just couldn't finish 'em 'cause I just slathered something spicy all over it." - Playfull Dress

" Y'know, I really like big and hefty shoes like these～ I love the way they make big, strong stompy sounds when I walk～" - Playfull Dress

"My shoes and jacket sparkles just like scales! Humans have it so good～ They can just swap up their scales whenever they want just by changing clothes." - Platinum Jacket

Beach Wear Vignette - Dialogue

Floyd: 'Cause, I mean, if someone tells you not to do something, doesn't it just make you want to do it more?

Stitch: Yahahahaha!

Floyd: My pops and mama always told us that it was dangerous for us kids to go by ourselves, so we shouldn't go near it.

Stitch: Grrr, rargh!

Floyd: Hmm? Oh, it's nothing like that. That whole thing where the humans and merfolk were afraid of each other is stuff from a long, long time ago.

Floyd: Folks've been comin' and goin' between the land and sea for a while now, ever since the mermaid princess married that human prince.

"Aha. I'm all ready to go, but is the party ready for me?"- Bloom Birthday ((Chaotic child detected))

"Ah, hey, it's Koebi-chan. So you're gonna give me whatever I want as a present? Then, tell me a fun story you know from up here on the surface. ...What, you weren't expecting me to ask for somethin' intangible? I mean, this is waaay better than getting somethin' I don't need. But I ain't gonna let it slide if you tell me a boring story. Mmkay, you can go ahead and start now～"-Bloom Birthday

"Maaan, passing practice is so boring 'cause it's too easy. Koebi-chan, wanna play 1 on 1 with me? I'll go a little bit easy on you"- Club Wear

"Hm, I don't see your mouth watering. You saying my food tastes bad?"- Apprentice Chef

"I make a ton of grilled sandwiches. I ain't got a recipe or anything. Just toss in some leftovers and grill 'em and you're done."- Apprentice Chef

"Jade'll put shiitake mushrooms in pretty much anything, so I got to the point that just lookin' at 'em pisses me off."- Apprentice Chef

" You make real great-lookin' faces when you're eating, Shrimpy. Didja like my cooking? 'Kay, then next time, I'll make you something even better."- Apprentice Chef (( PLEASE DO ))

" Next time, you should go up on stage, Koebi-chan. I'll be expectin' a fun show."- Port Wear

" Ehhh, my ribbon's crooked? I don't have a mirror, so I can't see it... Shrimpy-chan, why don'tcha fix it nicely for me?"- Platinum Jacket

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Every like, repost and comment is very welcome and appreciated. ♥

[wip]

Hello! Would you ever consider bringing back different post types, especially audio? I appreciate that audio posts now display the artist, song title, and album name, but unfortunately newer audio posts don’t play in Tumblr-based music players like egoisticalgoat.de or robinpx.github.io/boombox because they’re read as text posts. Thank you for reading!

Answer: Hey there, @stepintomusic!

Sadly, the answer here is no. We’ve been moving away from legacy post types and towards the Neue Post Format—a format that allows multiple types of media in the same post—for many years. The new features available in NPF basically guarantee that we won’t ever switch back to the legacy format.

(If you’re interested in peeking behind the scenes here, there are a few posts about NPF over at @engineering.)

Now, to get into the meat of the issue. While it would be amazing if we could support every third-party tool forever, the reality is that we can’t. We’re a surprisingly small team to begin with, and even if we weren’t, that support would come at a cost.

To start, there’s the development tax. Now, would it have been cool to ensure all third-party tools (and all custom themes) worked 100% perfectly with posts stored as NPF before releasing NPF to the public? Yeah, it would have been… for third-party tools and custom themes. For us, it would have meant delaying NPF (and all the features it brings with it) for months, possibly years. Imagine a 2023 where Tumblr still doesn’t have polls: that’s the alternate future we’re talking about here.

And then, there’s our maintenance tax. The engine that powers Tumblr themes is already incredibly complicated—complicated to the point that we’re already finding it difficult to maintain and add things like, as you mentioned, NPF audio metadata. If, every time we found some third-party tool that doesn’t play nice with the latest changes, we tried to make an affordance for it… the engine would just become even more complex. And it would do so quickly, and complex to the point of being impossible to keep up with as a maintainer.

There’s a great article here by a former Mozilla developer about the pitfalls of prioritizing a third-party ecosystem over your own software. Did you know that Firefox was essentially a single-threaded application until 2018? This meant it would still visually lock up when saving files to disk, or collecting crash data. Chrome launched in 2008 and was multiprocess from the start. But it took Firefox ten years to catch up because supporting all existing third-party add-ons was seen as necessary. (Spoiler alert: in the end, they had to drop support for those add-ons anyway.)

My own recommendation around third-party software like this is: get in contact with its developer! If something in their software isn’t working, there’s nobody more qualified to update it. (Or, if they’ve abandoned the project but had made it open-source, maybe someone else could step up to maintain it. Maybe you! You never know until you try.)

I talked about the maintenance tax from the first-party side, but let’s talk about it from the third-party side, too. As a theme author and add-on developer myself, I have long accepted that the cost of maintaining these things can never be zero. When your software interacts with an online service, and that online service is being actively maintained, your software also needs to be maintained.

I hope all this has been enlightening! Thanks for your question, and please, have a great day.

—April

[poetrysmackdown]

some informal thoughts

hello! hope the holiday season has been kind to all of you. and i hope all my jewish followers had a lovely hanukkah! anyways, since i said a few months ago that i’d pick poetry smackdown back up sometime around this time of year, i thought i should make a post. the gist of it is that i’m still quite busy, i have a break that’s about three weeks shorter than I was planning on, and i don’t currently have the mental bandwidth required to read, contemplate, and sort through poem submissions in a way that does justice to them, even if i were to recruit some friends to help out. since running a tournament format requires at least five weeks of continued engagement once it’s underway, and since i’m not at capacity to offer that right now due to the change in my schedule, i’m gonna have to bow out for now. sad bc i was looking forward to it!

my hope is that i’ll have some more time over the summer to hunker down with it, in which case you’ll be hearing from me. it’ll frankly depend on the kind of job i land in for the summer, but i find that my unemployed spirit can typically keep me doing stupid shit regardless of workload...to a point. i don’t want to make any promises because i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just to let them down again LOL. i do admit the amount of exposure the first tournament got has made me feel like more of a perfectionist this time around, doubly because i don’t feel that i’m very suited to being a public online presence (even a relatively quite small one)—i’m bad enough at responding to emails for my own real life responsibilities, let alone tumblr asks for the silly responsibilities i invent for myself lol. that’s not to say i no longer want to do it, or i don’t enjoy it, or even that i don’t feel capable of making a really interesting bracket—just that if i am working to put something new together, and if people are taking the time to submit poems they care about, then i don’t want to half-ass it.

my second admission is something like this. I made the original bracket as a celebration of poetry and our relationships to it. yes it was silly and competitive, and the poems were very tumblr, but still, celebration was the intention—I wanted to have conversations about poetry. I stand by the bracket format as a fun and valuable way to foster conversations about poetry, but truthfully, the poems i’m wanting to have conversations about right now—the poems that we should be talking about right now—are ones that i'm not comfortable putting in a bracket. I reblogged The Baffler’s Poems from Palestine collection on here earlier, and Najwan Darwish’s “Who Remembers The Armenians?”, which I still often find repeating through my head when I'm traveling from one place to another, walking home or riding the bus. I came across this beautiful thread recently where people have been translating Dr. Refaat Alareer’s “If I Must Die” into their own languages (this just makes my translator's heart sing!!!!!!). @havingapoemwithyou has been posting some great poems from and for Palestine as well—check out their tag here.

There's always more to add, and I'll be posting more on here as I come across it, but that's what I feel anyone should be focusing on right now when it comes to poetry. i think poetry can be an escape but it should never be a distraction. does that make sense? i wouldn't be against doing a one-off poll here or there, but it feels weird to be making a tournament for poetry right now, or anytime soon. i feel like what free time i have right now is still best utilized helping my friends with organizing in the real world. and god, a bit off-topic but while I'm talking, fuck poetry foundation—I have so much respect for all the poets keeping up the boycott, because while i think it's a simple decision, it's not always an easy one (Aurielle Lucier discussed that here).

anyways, if you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I could go on and on, but really this was just meant to be a message telling y'all that there won't be another tournament for a while lol. even so i'll be trying to use this small silly platform as best i can until palestine is free because that's the absolute least i can do.

[bogkeep]

i remember the shift, when i went from being "some random kid online who likes to draw" to "popular fanartist within a small community". it was on the fan forum for a webcomic nearly a decade ago. i had been posting my art on tumblr for a couple years already, usually getting between 0 and 15 notes on each, with a couple exceptions here and there. as you can probably imagine, being an awkward queer and autistic teen had never made me feel particularly popular before. i wasn't really lonely, personally, though many of my peers are and were, but the idea of many people actively wanting to be my friend and thinking i was genuinely cool - that was incredibly novel.

i have always loved getting attention for my work and find people interested in what i have to say. like, who doesn't? it was a very fulfilling and inspiring experience when it started happening to me on a regular basis, to the point where i could expect it. i went from being constantly apologetic about how annoying i imagined myself to be to others, to feeling confident that at least some people were excited to have me around. absolutely revolutionary to realize that people weren't just pretending to like me, they liked me for realsies, and that putting myself out there and being sincere and genuine in my enthusiasm and interest was actually a positive trait many people valued. wild!!!!!!!!

when you come from a place like that, of course you try to be everyone's friend. that's the scarcity mindset. you have to hold on to every friendship ever offered to you because it's such a rare and precious thing and you don't know when or even if it might happen again. but if you get Popular, well, at some point you learn that you can only nurture so many friendships at once, and that you can't click with everyone. like, it only makes sense. but it sucks!! learning the necessity of rejecting people and letting them down is a harrowing journey, but one that must be made.

there's many deeply lonely people out there, especially online, a space of Connection. connections to other people are so good and necessary and being lonely is an awful thing to be. this means there's a lot of people who can't even imagine not wanting more friends, let alone not be constantly looking for some. it's always a bit of a tragedy when a Very Lonely Person tries to attach themselves to someone Socially Overencumbered, as that's highly unlikely to end satisfyingly for anyone involved.

anyway, i think capital f Fame is like that, but times a hundred thousand. it's deeply fascinating to me how Fame is treated as this deeply aspirational state when it's proven again and again to be a cruel and abusive mistress. like, i understand - don't we all want some attention, some validation, for someone to recognise us on the street with stars in their eyes, like OH you're the COOL PERSON who did the COOL THING and i want nothing more than a HUG and a SELFIE and also i made you this HAND MADE GIFT and PAINTED A PORTRAIT OF YOU... that's the dream, isn't it!! to be recognized for your skill, to be admired, desired! THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE WANTS, ISN'T IT.

but it isn't.

there's a limit to everything. there's a whole spectrum of Getting Attention and Validation between "literally everybody ignores you and everything you do" and "paparazzi follow you everywhere you go" - and i can promise that you can find a lot of fulfilment and joy on the lower end of that scale. it's difficult to explain sometimes, especially to people who get No Attention - it's like telling someone who is starving that the most expensive restaurant in town isn't really worth the hassle, a good affordable sandwich will make you so much happier, trust me. like maybe it's just personal preference and what i can personally tolerate! but i had merely a whiff, a crumb of what they serve at that place, and it's Not That Good. easy for me to say huh!!!!

i'm basically a nobody on the wider web, but i've still had my fair share of unpleasant stranger interactions both of the rude and overly familiar variations. i've been treated as a commodity rather than a person. i've been put on a pedestal and dragged through the mud by the same people. it kinda sucks!! and i don't want to tell people that they should never ever put themselves and their art out there because people might be cruel, because that shouldn't be the expectation! yet for some reason, it is!!!! people experiencing Fame have to deal with all kinds of inhumanely horrible things literally no human person is equipped to experience. many people say that's the price people pay for fame, but that's said by people who haven't experienced even a Fraction of the stochastic terrorism an Audience can do to you if they choose. not all attention is good attention.

i know none of this is a fresh new hot take. i know we all know stalking is unethical and traumatic. but i am still so fascinated by the divide between people who don't understand why anyone would reject any form of adoration and those who have to work very, very hard to keep their boundaries intact.