#anyway. life updates I've been meaning to post for months:

[fleeblesim]

The Borealis family will be making a comeback before the week ends 💥🔥‼️

[clangenrising]

Hey guys.

It is with great shame that I think I must announce that I can no longer maintain my posting schedule and RisingClan needs to go on a tiny hiatus.

For some background, I've been struggling with work and mental health for a couple months now which culminated in a breakdown a few weeks ago after which my boss insisted I take some time off work to recover. In that time, I've been trying to catch up with RisingClan’s schedule, which I am very behind on, but this week I learned that I need to start packing to move out as well. And to top it all off, I'm in danger of losing my benefits and need to get that sorted out.

Multiple people have told me that if I need to put RisingClan on hold, I can, that my audience will understand, but I've been loathe to because doing so would mean abandoning the "In Real Time" gimmick that I was so proud of and I didn't want to compromise my vision in that way. Unfortunately, though, I have come to the realization that I can either force myself to write and damage my mental health further, write at my own pace and release updates far later than I wanted to hoping that doing so doesn't make the story too different from what I had hoped, OR I can put things on pause until my life isn't falling apart and then start writing again, albiet not in the way I wish I could.

I have decided to do the latter. I'm going to take a break from producing RisingClan content for at least a couple weeks, maybe a month or two, while I move and get my shit together. I'm also going to put Featured Follower Posts on hold. However, during that time I will continue to answer asks since that takes very little effort and I'd love to highlight any fan art if people feel like making any. When I feel I'm able, I'll start writing again and maybe eventually I'll be able to catch up to the current month and resume business as usual. I'm not going to push myself though.

I know you'll all understand but I want to thank you anyway and say I hope that you'll stick with me through this posting gap. The events that are coming up are things I'm really excited for and I hope you'll all be there to see them!

To my lovely patrons, I would appreciate your continued support but I understand if you feel the need to cancel your subscriptions even temporarily. Luckily, I already finished Leafbare's season illustration so that will be posted on time, as usual.

Thank you all. I couldn't do this without your support and I'm looking forward to getting back in the saddle soon.

♡ Rowan

[attollogame]

March and the status of Attollo

Hi everyone!

This was posted on patreon, but I thought to extend it on the blog as well for transparency purposes for everyone. If you clicked the read more to check this out, thanks, and glad you're still kicking around!

March consisted of me jumping in and out of medical care for the bulk of the month, and despite the armada of pills and specialists I'm hanging around with in my free time, answers have been nonexistent about what's been going on. I'm tired—understandably so.

So what's this got to do with the game?

Beyond just feeling too tired to do what's required of me for work and school, I've been weirdly anxious about the game in general. I think it's based around comments I received in the past about how the game is, what people's opinions are, etc. I've been genuinely sick to my stomach opening my doc containing the game. I just start writing and then it's like... will people even like this? Or read it? Is it just jargon that they'll skim past for 5 seconds of dialogue with a character they like, and then never touch again? Is it worth putting the lore and stuff when it won't be relevant until later in the game? And so on.

I don't know. It's been a bit of a hole. I'm wondering if maybe I need to rewrite it to make it more appealing, or if it's fine as it is, and all these other anxieties that have by no means been helping my health. I want to write, and maybe that's the worse bit. The want versus the brains refusal to do so.

Anyway. None of this particularly matters, because you guys are mostly keen on when it'll be updated. It will—I'm plugging through it slowly. I originally said I'd post the three on patreon and then bulk release, but I may just post on patreon and then release as the new routes come out as a form of apology for my inability to keep a consistent schedule.

Unfortunately, real life demands often take away from fun side hobbies like this.

I reactivated patreon for this month so hopefully I'll have some new content to post on there as well to kind of... rebuild the confidence about the game.

That being said, I do hope you (the lovely person who has read this far) are doing well. I hope you're healthy, and stress free, and enjoying month 4 of 2024. Stay that way for me, will you?

[brainrot-goes-brrrrrr]

Savannah Squad Presentation Night Headcanons/Drabble [2/3]

it has been forever :'D (everyone say thank you to @moonbiine)

ANYWAYS, here's part 2 :}

Part 1: Taylor & Logan Part 2: Ben & Tyler Part 3: Aiden & Ashlyn [WIP]

Logan's POV

Two hours and twenty-eight minutes. It has been two hours and twenty-eight minutes and we've been stuck at 76% complete for forty minutes. Whoever made Windows deserves to burn and I stand by that, cause what do you mean that they can push an update and force restart my laptop.

"Logan when was the last time you updated this?" "Logan, why are there fifteen updates that need to be downloaded?" "Bro, when was the last time you actually shut down your laptop?" ... "I've been busy, okay--"

So it might be my fault. Partially. I will admit that much, but the laptop's never given me a problem before and it was running fine. It's just old, and has a few odd... kinks? I mean, the left half of the mousepad is jammed to the point where it can't click, and, sure, the screen does go black every now and again, but just hit it a few times it works! It's character, charm even (and I can't be bothered to fix it...)!

It was, honest to God, easier for Aiden to run back to his place and grab his laptop.

"So we agree that Logan is off electronic duty right?" Taylor had asked as Ben was setting up the other computer to the television screen with Aiden helping. It was a unanimous decision. Ben and Aiden are the new tech guys.

"Yeah, that's probably for the better," I had conceded.

Ben Clarke

Ben goes next because he saved the groups sanity by suggesting that Aiden just gets his laptop. Everyone, thank Ben for the night not failing.

To address the obvious, Ben has a text to speech app on his phone, which is connected to a speaker, that he uses to present. I will say that there is a sort of humor in this for two reasons. One, the voice can either be monotoned like a typical text-to-speech program with funny pronunciation errors, or two, it will sound like one of those videos on tiktok where an AI is reading a tumblr post about SuperBats or something and gets progressively more expressive as time goes on. Personally, I want to hear exasperated robot Ben voice explaining to Aiden why "Life is a Highway" on repeat can and will be considered a torture method.

Ben's music taste is GODLY. And he's more of a eclectic listener too so he has experience with a good amount of genres. This man does not bash other genres of music that he doesn't care for, he thinks its rude to the person he's talking to and to the artist.

Aiden is the exception to this rule^^

DESPISES having to subscribe to music platforms. What do you mean that you can't listen to a song on repeat without paying, what do you mean that you will interrupt his carefully crafted playlist with a recommended song that does not fit the vibe. This end up derailing his presentation couple times.

He has a set criteria that he judges on: length, vibes, transitions, and replayability. Good playlists should at minimum be an hour, have similar vibes/sound while still being unique, the transitions between songs shouldn't be jarring, and the playlist shouldn't be painful to listen to after a month.

Taylor and Ashlyn helped him judge everyone's playlists by acting as secondary perspectives. Taylor is more open to everyone's music tastes while Ashlyn scrutinizes them more. They pretty much just took a playlist that everyone listens to regularly, one that they made but listen to it every so often, and their liked songs.

I would also like everyone to remember that the series is set in 2016... they would have songs mostly from the 2000s-2010s with the exceptions of some 90s and 80s songs. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying that I looked up 2010s hit songs and I'm filled with nostalgia.

Overall, Ben's criticisms and recommendations are genuinely thoughtful. Especially the recommendations. For each person, after critiquing their playlists, Ben made a slide of genres and artists that each person should check out to expand their tastes.

(I'll probably make a bit about what songs were on their playlist, idk tho)

Group Reaction (how they ranked in comparison to each other)

Personally, Tyler and Logan getting the best ratings because their playlists are very consistent in their vibes and are replayable. I also think that Ben's music taste fits the most with these two for some reason, so they got the most song recs out of everyone.

Ashlyn is third in the ranking. She has one or two that she listens to occasionally, and they're pretty short. They are absolute polar opposites though. One of the playlists is rock, since she canonically likes Paramore (if you don't, get well soon), and the other is classical music for her ballet performances.

Taylor is next. Her playlist isn't bad, its just... a bit everywhere. Like it starts pretty good, but you can tell that somewhere along the lines of creating this playlist she just added songs that she remembered that she likes. It mostly fits the same genre. Ben makes her a more organized playlist after the presentation.

Aiden is dead last. It's not because his music taste is shit. Aiden actually has a pretty good music taste. No. Its because he only listens to his liked songs on repeat like a monster. It is musical whiplash. You go from a movie theme song, to crying, to listening to white girl club music, to rock, to crying again, and then for some reason the Home Depot jingle???? The only playlists that he makes are for jokes really. Do you know the John Mulaney bit where he plays "What's New Pussycat?" 27 times. Yeah, that's Aiden.

Tyler Hernandez

Tyler's next, and, I'm letting you know now that he sprayed the fuck out of Aiden for interrupting. Yeah, Ash pulled them a part.

Motherfucker is so pleased with himself, like its honestly so funny. Aiden had him by the collar and Tyler was just fucking smiling. Taylor does throw her slipper at him for being rude, but he could honestly care less.

The slideshow itself is the most soulless thing ever made, man used the Blank Google Slides template and called it a day. Like one stock image on each slide, and its so pixelated. He probably did it like an hour ago. That's why his presentation is funny because he's just jabbing at Aiden over and over with a basic slideshow that you'd see someone pull out in a Spanish 1-2 class.

You know what? He probably had another presentation about what piercing he think would suit the group best, and just did this one out of spite cause Aiden was being loud. I take back my previous statement about him doing it an hour before getting to Logan's place, he did this on his PHONE WHEN THE LAPTOP WAS UPDATING!!!! Like Logan was taking a walk, Ben was trying to fix the computer, the girls went to make sandwiches, Aiden was running errands, and Tyler made this in an hour.

His presentation is based off a tier system where it gets more effective with each method. Methods 1-3 are pretty basic where its just stuff like duct taping his mouth shut, 4 and onwards just gets funny

I'll be completely honest, each way he put is wild, and it gets progressively more deranged as the presentation goes on. These one's my favorite

"Number 9: Dying You know, I thought this would be the best way, but the bastard got crushed by a ceiling and walked it off. I want you to try and convince me that Aiden wouldn't crawl out of hell just to ruin my day. " "Number 10: Put him in a room alone with Ashlyn's mom and dad *insert a picture of Aiden sitting not so comfortably in between Ashlyn's parents* I don't even think I need to say anything else, I mean, I will, but like... look at him"

This is honestly the shortest presentation of the night but so far it's the most chaotic (he will quickly lose this title).

Tyler went through two spray bottles, mainly for Aiden, but he did spray Taylor once or twice. She threw a shoe at him. It's only fair.

Groups Reaction

Aiden is standing to the side with a towel around himself because Logan said his grandparents would kill them for ruining their couch. He's not exactly pissed but he is kind of sulking. Honestly this just makes his presentation so much better for him.

You know how Tyler asked for suggestions in the beginning, Ben and Ashlyn give him genuine ideas. Mainly Ben, just out of good humor you know. And Tyler's taking notes.

Taylor is giggling, but she does feel a bit bad for Aiden. At some point she gives him a consolation sandwich to raise his spirits.

Logan, however, doesn't and he's just quietly enjoying the scene that's unfolding around him.

The end of these two presentations are by far more chaotic than the first two, and it feels like its only going to get worse from here(/pos). Because right now Aiden is fighting with Tyler, getting him soaked too, Taylor is filming them while Logan provides commentary, and Ashlyn is standing with Ben setting up the next powerpoint.

While it was initially decided that Aiden would go last, Ashlyn suggested that she and him switch. Mainly so that he can drip dry while presenting, and sit down when he's done.

Aiden is following a presentation that was just jabbing at him, how do you think his is going to end up now?

[eliotlime]

November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

or

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[wheelie-butch]

List of Fundraisers You Can Help!

This is a list of fundraisers for Palestinians who have contacted me to share their posts. Please, pick one and donate! Even $5 will help!

People I know

These are fundraisers for people either know from real life (including a teacher of mine) or through my university Palestine Support Network.

Basil @basilmjaber1 - paypal here - GFM here - EUR 2340 / EUR 25,000 LOW ON DONATIONS - NO RECENT DONATIONS Basil is a friendly guy who is trying to look after his family during this awful time. I've been talking to him for the past few months after meeting him through a university group chat.

Suleiman & Mohammed - GFM here - £34095 / £80,000 - Suleiman is a professor at my old university and he and his brother are rainsing funds for their extended family in Palestine. We had an update just this morning that unfortunately despite everyone's generousity, they are running low on funds again and a family member is tragically missing.

Amgad - GFM here - £11,134 / £65,000 - NO RECENT DONATIONS - Amgad taught me several years ago and is one of the best, kindest teachers I had in my whole degree. Everyone loves him and if you met him you would too. He's from Gaza, and is fundraising to help his brother's family who are still all out there.

Tumblr Campaigns

These are people who have sent me messages about their campaign, please also support them if you can!

@selenagh64 - vetting info here - GFM here - $6607 / $70,000 - a donation of $10 was recently made, could you match it?

@karamrafeek - vetting 1, 2, 3 - GFM here - this GFM says it is no longer accepting donations, which I'm not sure what that means, but since I recieved the message only a day or so ago I'm going to share anyway.

@ahmedhellis22 - vetting - GFM here - $538 / $30,000 - EXTREMELY LOW FUNDS - Ahmed is a pharmacist trying to provide aid for others in the refugee areas

@aiamaher - donation protected, reverse images showing no other results - GFM here - EUR 2,480 / EUR 55,000

@faroham - vetted - GFM here - $3591 / $35,000

@moneerraed - vetted - GFM here - EUR 1,398 / EUR 35,000

@waledps - vetted - paypal - buy me a coffee

@tahseenkhazen - vetting info - GFM here - $14,036 / $25,000

@kenzish - vetted - GFM here - EUR 10,641 / EUR 50,000

@salman-1990 - vetted - GFM here - EUR 2,391 / EUR 50,000

@hmzamahamed5 - vetted - GFM here - EUR 29,282 / EUR 37,000 - close to goal!!

@lina1234sa - donation protected, original images, Lena's instagram, Majed's instagram - $28,055 / $40,000 - making good progress, don't let it stagnate!

@ahmad1988 - donation protected, original images - GFM here - KR 6,330 / KR 500,000 - EXTREMELY LOW FUNDS

@osama-family - vetted #12 on list - GFM here - £4213 / £50,000 - someone just donated £5, could you match that?

@yasermohammad - vetted - GFM here - EUR 24,689 / EUR 35,000 - getting there! keep going!

@mayadayyad81 - vetted - GFM here - $42,754 / $50,000 - keep it going!

@motazmohammed - donation protected, unique images - GFM here - EUR 3138 / EUR 50,000

@kareem-family2 - vetted - GFM here - EUR 11,312 / EUR 20,000

@basel1995s - vetted #214 on list - GFM here - CHF 8,383 / 60,000

@dodooomar - vetted - GFM here - KR 236,960 / KR 300,000 nearly there!

Make a difference right now -- Please pick one and donate $5 or more if you can! Remember to share! Together we can help!

[sweetladyjustice]

This is a repost, because I think my visibility settings were preventing it from ending up in the tags.

Here's a little something for @bloodweaveweek Day 1: Firsts.

Life got away from me (I blame Dragon Age) so my BW Week responses will just be updates from stuff I'd written for a Discord creativity challenge during March. This was going to be a part of a longer fic I wanted to write, but I've since changed direction.

Be warned: sappy, soft, and really self-indulgent! Takes place three years post-game.

~~~

Their life was simple. 

The sun was setting over the water, casting brilliant reds and pinks across the horizon. A carafe of good wine sat on the table between them. Astarion was sprawled on the chaise, facing the setting sun and sitting up just enough to sip his wine, reading the weekly gossip rag. He was particularly curious about the love triangle that had caused near-blows at last month’s soiree at a minor lordling’s manor. He and Gale had been invited to the soiree, but declined as Karlach and Tav had been passing through Waterdeep on their latest adventure. Now Astarion was regretting not having gone, even if it had meant missing out on an evening with his friends. He hummed and turned the page, eagerly continuing the story.

Gale sat across from him in a wicker chair, an ancient book about some kind of esoteric magic balanced on his lap. Occasionally, he asked Astarion for an opinion on spell techniques. Astarion mostly answered in grunts and shrugs, more focused on his own reading. 

Life was very boring. But Astarion loved it. 

Gale broke the companionable silence.

“Do you want to do anything special for your birthday?”

“Gale, I love you, but I do not understand a word of what you’re reading from that dusty old book. Wait.” Astarion dropped his reading as Gale’s words finally registered. “My what?”

“Your birthday! It’s in three days.” He winked at Astarion. Winked. Astarion scrunched his face into a frown as Gale continued. “And, if I may point out, it’s a significant one!”

Astarion sat up and topped off his goblet of wine. He reached for the carafe and poured himself another generous glass. He would probably need it for wherever this conversation was going. “Significant how? And how did you know? I didn’t even know my birthday. Not until this very moment, anyway.” 

“It was etched onto your headstone,” Gale answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in all the realms.

“Oh, right,” Astarion responded. Then he flashed Gale a wicked grin. “I don’t remember what my headstone said, but I remember what we did on my headstone.” 

Gale ignored him and pressed on. “Per the dates, you were 39 years old when you were turned. The ‘clock’, so to speak, restarted on aging for you after we returned the Crown.” Astarion pursed his lips at the mention of aging, but Gale didn’t notice. “This is your first birthday since your mortality was restored. Do you know what that means?”

He wracked his brain, trying to think of human birthday customs. “Ah! Yes I do. You will be taking me out to a very expensive dinner followed by a night of mind-blowing sex?” 

“Well, yes, we will certainly be doing that,” Gale said, with an almost dismissive wave of his hand. “But what I mean is, you’re turning 40!”

Astarion blinked, then laughed. “Oh, I’m older than that. I was born in 12-something, and it’s…” he paused, thinking. “It’s 1494.”

“It’s 1495.”

“Oh. It’s 1495. That means I’m actually…” he paused again. “Well, it means I’m actually much older than 40.” He shrugged. “But if you don’t want to count all those undead years, I can accept that.” He took another sip of his wine. “While I won’t say no to being spoiled, I’m curious. Why is this so important?”

“Forty is a milestone birthday!” Gale spread his hands in the air in a ta-da motion. 

A long pause hung heavy in the air as Astarion tried his damnedest not to giggle at his husband.

“For humans, maybe.” He tapped the point of one ear. “I’m an elf.” 

“Ah, but you’re married to a human.” Gale leaned forward, reaching across the table to take Astarion’s hand. “So please, indulge your very human husband and allow me to make a big deal out of this?”

“Fine. Expensive dinner, lots of sex.”

“That’s all?”

Astarion nodded. “That’s all. This whole birthday thing,” he waved his hand in front of his face with a flourish, “is entirely new to me. Let’s start simple. Wine me and dine me.”

Gale smiled, resplendent, and released Astarion’s hand. He leaned back into his chair and opened his book. “Now, I would like your opinion on an original illusion spell technique that I am developing for my more advanced students.”

“Ask away, darling.”

~~~

Astarion’s birthday dawned bright and clear, like most days in Waterdeep did. He roused from a light doze and slipped from Gale’s arms, creeping his way to the washroom so as not to wake his husband. 

Astarion studied himself in the mirror. Forty. He looked just as he had yesterday at 39. Same high cheekbones, same light splash of freckles across the same prominent nose, same beauty mark under his left eye. He still had a shallow dimple in his chin and a small scar next to his mouth. And the same ocean-blue eyes stared back from the glass. An unbidden memory flooded into his mind.

“I would rather be a spawn for eternity than be indebted to you.”

“You owe me nothing, Astarion.”

“Then why did you bring me here? Fix him like you promised!”

“I already have. The orb is gone. Gale was as obstinate as you are, and he insisted I give you a boon for your part in reforging the Crown. On that, he and I agree.”

“Why? Since when have you been charitable?”

“It is not charity. It is my obligation. I witnessed the great pain you endured retrieving the netherstones from the Chionthar. I would not have the Crown were it not for your help.”

“I didn’t do that for you. I did it for Gale.”

“Then consider this my obligation to him, if you must.”

There was a flash of purple-silver light, blinding him momentarily. Just as suddenly as he had been snatched away, he was back in the tower’s library, heart pounding and lungs filling with gasping breaths, entire body tingling. A pair of arms circled his waist, holding him steady. Gale’s face swam into view, eyes wide, staring at Astarion in awe. 

Astarion sighed. Whether it was a wistful sigh or frustrated sigh, he wasn’t sure. He still didn’t quite believe he did anything to deserve the gift of mortality, but over the last several months, he’d stopped questioning Mystra’s motivations. Or, perhaps, he’d grown to trust Gale even more deeply than he already had. It had been Gale that had advocated to Mystra on his behalf. There must have been some lingering fondness there on her part for her to agree to his demands. As he pondered, Astarion craned his neck and brushed his fingers over the fading scars, the last remaining hint of what he used to be. 

He pushed his doubts away and gazed back at himself in the mirror, this time indulging in a bit of vanity. He grinned, reveling in the way the corners of his eyes creased. And no fangs, of course. He finished washing up, tousled his hair, and crept downstairs to the kitchen. 

As soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs, he felt a woosh of air ruffle his hair and heard the flutter of feathers. 

“Happy birthday, Mister Dekarios!”

Astarion ducked, nearly bopped in the head by the tressym zooming excitedly around the kitchen. 

“Ah, thank you, Tara. And good morning to you.”

Tara made a few more tight circles in the air before settling on the kitchen table. Astarion gave her a few scratches behind the ears on his way to the coffee pot. She had warmed up to him surprisingly quickly when he and Gale arrived in Waterdeep. He had been certain that his presence would be tolerated at best, outright rejected at worst. However, within days, Tara could be found perched on his shoulders or settled in his lap in front of the fire. Even more surprisingly, Morena Dekarios had welcomed him with open arms. She was a warm and caring person, just like her son. Astarion wondered if she made a big deal out of Gale’s birthdays when he was young.

Astarion turned back to the tressym as the coffee brewed. “Tara, do all humans get so excited about birthdays?” 

“Oh, yes, humans very much enjoy celebrating the people they love. Why, I recall Morena fretting over what to do for Gale’s 30th birthday. He was so wrapped up with that goddess at the time, and completely disregarded Morena’s invitation!” She stomped her little paw on the table. “Oh, what an awful day that was. Poor Morena was so heartbroken.”

“Right, that.” He didn’t want to think anymore about Mystra today. Astarion scratched absent-mindedly at his chest. Sometimes, he couldn’t believe that his kind, loving husband was once a callous man obsessed with his proximity to power. He made a mental note to bring up the 30th birthday incident (as gently as he was capable of being) with Morena next time they had lunch.

A rather depressing thought popped into Astarion’s head. “Tara, Gale wants to celebrate my birthday tonight. Do you think he might be doing this out of guilt for the 30th birthday thing?” 

“Oh no! I assure you, this has nothing to do with guilt. He apologized to Morena years ago. He wants to celebrate you, his love. Human lives are short, dear. Every year is special to them.”

“Hmm, yes, I think about that far too often.” He sighed and picked up the two mugs of coffee and made for the stairs. “Thank you, Tara. I’ll indulge him with this birthday business.” 

Tara tsked when she saw the mugs in his hands. “Gale should be bringing you coffee! It’s your birthday! You’re supposed to be relaxing! He should be spoiling you! Oh that lazy boy, I will be giving him an earful later!”

~~~

As promised, Gale took Astarion out to an expensive dinner with even more expensive wine. The walk home felt excruciatingly long, as Gale had also promised mind-blowing sex. A promise on which, of course, he delivered. And delivered. And delivered again.

Hours later, they were lounging in their bed, sweaty and sated. Astarion’s heart was thudding in his chest, still a novel sensation nearly a year after it had beat back to life. Gale’s head was pillowed on his chest. Astarion drew lazy circles with his fingers along his husband’s shoulder. 

But despite his contentment, he couldn’t stop thinking of his conversation with Tara that morning. I’ll have to do something nice for Gale’s next birthday, he reasoned. 

Then it dawned on him. He was missing a major piece of information about his husband. 

“Shit.”

“Mmm?” Gale had been drifting off. He rubbed his face sleepily on Astarion’s chest. “Everything alright, Astarion?”

“I have a question. And before I ask you, my darling, my love, I want you to know that I love and cherish you very much. Every moment with you makes up for centuries of torture and torment. I cannot imagine my life without you.” 

Before he could continue, Gale stiffened and lifted his head off of Astarion’s chest, looking him in the eye. He looked… suspicious. 

Astarion cleared his throat. “Well, I was thinking. If humans like birthdays so much, perhaps we should make it a habit of celebrating them, and I thought I should do something for your next birthday. Something nice. And nice still isn’t really my thing, so I would need help from your mother and Tara, and then I realized…”

“You don’t know when my birthday is, do you?” 

Astarion blushed red to the tips of his ears and shook his head. 

“Astarion!” Gale pushed himself onto his elbows to glare at his husband. “Do you even know how old I am?”

Astarion paused. “Forty two?”

“Forty two?” Gale’s voice came out much higher than usual.

“Not 42?”

“I’m only 38!” 

Astarion gave Gale a sheepish grin. “Well, you don’t look a day over 35, my dear.”

Gale frowned and huffed, but leaned forward and gave Astarion a soft kiss on the lips. He settled back down, and Astarion knew he was listening to his heartbeat. He pulled the blankets up over them both and pressed a kiss to Gale’s gray-streaked hair. 

“Happy birthday, my love,” Gale whispered. His breathing grew slow and heavy. Astarion grinned and as he slipped into a trance, he thought to himself, May it be the first of many. 

[monstrouslyobsessed]

life updates and then some

oh dear, i've been gone for quite a long while, huh? i'm so, so sorry and i really, REALLY do appreciate all of your concerns and sweet messages! it's heartwarming to know that my works are still being loved even in my absence. yall deserves some explanations so ima get right in it.

mild cw ahead: bizarre financial abuse (?), depression, and nongraphic medical concerns.

these past few months were pretty rough, especially with the financial aspects, personal matters, and my health, both mental and physical, had been going downspiral to the point that my writing had become complete nonexistent and that i lowkey hated every word i put down. i won't get into too much of details, but the short of it, an estranged family member (and trust when i say they are estranged for very good reasons) pulled a fast one via some kind of legal fraud (???), which hurts my financial situation and impacted my ability to pay bills. im still a huge wtaf over it, i won't lie, but it is something getting sorted out atm via official and legal means (fun times to be had!!!). im incredibly lucky to be living with a very understanding person though who also got very angry on my behalf so don't worry about my current living situation.

health wise, doctors found something wrong with one of my organs but they couldn't determine the issue. since then, life had been a struggle.

with my health was the first thing to start for me, it's nothing fatal or too life altering, fairly mild imo (so say i with stupidly high pain tolerance, apparently), but it's kind of something i need to keep aware of with my consumption. but boy tis was not fun living with discomforts with my own body for a while. rest just fell into places afterward, unfortunately, but that's how the life go--you'll always have your ups and downs, just cherish the present while you can.

anyway, i can't promise i'll be posting regularly again given my situation(s), not as on a semi-frequent schedule, which absolutely does make me sad because i really do love making monsterfucker contents, not just for myself but for you lovely readers as well. hopefully i'll be back sooner than later. that said…

i do have a super overdue commission i'm going to post very soon! just got one last scene to get through (it's currently at 8.1k words....!) and get it edited and make it pretty--and bam! it'll be done and posted. so do look forward to that, at least.

heck, i'll leave yall with this teaser line at the start of the final scene!

“Let us give them quite a show, hm?”

just gonna...get through pron writing lmao <3 yet again, thank you all so very much for caring and i really do miss you and your kind words. please take care of yourselves, lovelies!

in the meantime, i'm going to clean out my blog a bit and i'll try to reply some of your asks later too. if you have anything random, asking for advice, or anything related to my ocs or my aus, ask away. my inbox is always open for yall <3

[fablesrose]

Season 3

Ch 19 - The Jailhouse Job

Series Rewrite Masterlist 

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Ford!Reader

Description: Nate is now in jail for the stunt he pulled last season saving the team. Despite this, he still finds a job in taking down his warden.

Words: 7.7k

A/n: Hey guys, sorry this took so long. This summer has been busier and more stressful than I had anticipated with work, trying to figure out my physical health, and a number of other factors in regards to my future. Unfortunately I am still under a lot of stress, so I'm unsure how regular updates will be, but I'm hoping to post once or twice a month for now. I've been so touched by the support coming through and the desire for this series to continue and I am so thankful for all of you, I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at my laptop sitting on the coffee table in my living room. Over the past month that Nate has been in jail awaiting trial, I have been contemplating what my next steps should be. When I started working with the team full time, I had temporarily shut down my socials and suspended my website for freelancing. Still, I had a somewhat regular stream of repeat clients asking if I had any project openings. Thus far I had simply told them that no, I didn’t have any openings and possibly even pointing them to possible alternative freelancers that I had worked with previously and thought they did a good job. 

Did I take it back up again? Was this last job with the mayor and Nate going to jail the sign that I needed that this was the time to walk away? If it was, could I really follow through? Or was I so deep into this already, in too deep with the team, too deep into crime, in too deep for Eliot, that I wouldn’t be able to get out until the whole world fell apart?

And so, I just started at my laptop. At my emails, sitting in my inbox. They might as well have been collecting dust. I sat, thinking about everything and nothing at all. 

I wasn’t sure how long I had been there when a knock came to my door. 

“It’s open,” I called, remembering that I hadn’t locked the door when Sophie came and went earlier today to check on me. 

I didn’t move from my spot, staring at my laptop. It felt as if my eyes were glued to the spot, that pulling my gaze away would be painful, or at least physically difficult. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” The deep voice floated to my ears, one that I wouldn’t forget. It somehow pulled my eyes from where they were nailed in front of me towards the door where Eliot stepped through carefully. 

“Hey,” I said softly in reply. 

“How’re you holding up?” He stepped around the furniture till he found a chair he liked near where I was sitting. 

I sighed, “Okay. Those first two weeks I was so stressed that I don’t remember much, to be completely honest. Now I’m just tired and trying to figure out what to do next.”

He tilted his head a fraction, “Like what? What to cook for dinner in the next day or two or…”

I huffed, “More like what to do with my life.”

Eliot’s brow furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean? You’re gonna stay with us right? Help us break Nate out of prison?”

My lips curled into a small, but sad, smile, “Do you guys even still want me around when Nate’s not here?”

He scoffed, “Are you kidding? Of course we do. Didn’t you hear Nate on that boat? We’re family. To be honest sweetheart, I think we all like you better anyway.”

My smile cracked into a wider one, “Really?”

“Really.”

We just sat looking at each other for a few moments before my eyes dropped to my hands for a moment, “So, uh, where you just popping by to check on me or…”

He coughed, “Uh, actually I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, uh, remember the job we did in LA? With the two David statues?”

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Where I met you and helped with my first job? That happened well over a year ago? Yeah, what about it?”

He agreed that we were thinking of the same event and stuttered over his words a bit, trying to figure out how to articulate what he wanted. Eventually he said, “I just… I wanted to let you know that I’m glad I met you and inadvertently pulled you into the job.”

This conversation felt like it was getting deeper and more heartfelt with every exchange, and I wasn’t sure if I liked it. It was nice, in an uncomfortable kind of way and I knew he meant well, but I couldn’t stop myself from lightening the mood a bit with a more awkward angle. “You mean that you’re glad Maggie brought me along on your date?”

 Blush rose across his face and scrunched in what seemed like disappointment, “It was Nate’s idea. For the record, I would have rather taken you out on a date, but Maggie had the museum access.”

That stopped me in my tracks and it was my turn for blush to spread across my face and surely my neck and ears. I wasn’t sure what to reply, so I didn’t even try. 

Eliot seemed to register what he said, and quickly changed the subject, “Besides that, we kind of came up with a plan to break Nate out. Sophie is heading to the jail and is going to tell him. Do you wanna come over and listen in?”

I could still feel my heart racing, but this was a good excuse to get out and escape the hypnotizing gaze of my laptop. And if it got Nate out of prison and the team back to rockin’ and rollin’? Then it was a double or even triple win in my book. 

We crossed the hall to Nate’s apartment where the team has continued to meet up and use as their - our? - headquarters. I had been unsure of how I felt being in there with Nate being in jail so I hadn’t come over very often. Hardison did make another upgrade to the room with a tall desk facing the screens placed behind the couch wide enough to fit all of us. 

When we walked in Sophie had begun explaining the plan to break Nate out. Hardison was somehow channeling the conversation through the speakers like a phone call so everyone could hear and had the security footage on the screen so we could watch. Sophie and Nate were separated by some sort of plexiglass as they chatted from the prison phone booths. I had gone a couple of times to visit him so I was somewhat familiar with the room. It all seemed performative, the glass walls for some sort of privacy, the plastic phones to talk through even though you could still hear through the glass. All for the illusion of separation.

From what I gathered of the plan, we would have to break him out directly after his hearing at the courthouse. Eliot would take out any FBI agents and guards on the outside. Parker would be waiting in the elevator shaft to do the actual breaking out of the cuffs and his guards. The rest of us are on distraction and misdirection duty until we can all load up and drive away. 

“No,” Nate said when he heard it. 

“No!?” Sophie replied. 

“Uh… no,” he repeated. 

“What do you mean no?”

“It’s a horrible plan. None of it times out, and there’s no way you can get to the car that fast,” Nate explained. 

“Ah, but you’d have to admit, it’d be a lot more dramatically satisfying if I’m the one driving the getaway car.”

I shrugged in partial agreement to the both of them. The way Sophie explained the plan was for her to meet Nate right when he came out of his courtroom, putting her behind him in getting out of the building. Nate was right, where it would be impossible for her to be driving the car to pick them up (the way she described it), but she was right that it would bring a full circle moment to the operation.

“You know they record these calls,” Nate whispered, as if it would help. Sophie raised a cellphone at him that was plugged into the wall next to the prison phone she was talking to him through.

“I created a carrier signal for our conversation,” Hardison explained, “But I’m dumping another conversation onto the prison recording system.”

“Spanish soap opera?” Eliot asked as he passed a beer to Hardison and my drink of choice to me. 

“Oh yeah, check it out man. Look, it turns out Pepe’s twin brother Peppi is actually Guadalupe’s baby’s daddy.” Hardison explained the plot he was transmitting to the recording system. 

“You seriously keep up with that?” I asked. I could vaguely hear it in the background of his systems. 

Hardison shrugged at me. 

“Is this thing two way?” I asked him. 

“It can be, you wanna say hi?”

I casually nodded. Once he gave me the go ahead I said, “Hi Nate.”

He startled a bit on the camera feed when he heard my voice, “Hey Birdie.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing, “You didn’t have a hand in that plan, did you? Because I would expect better from you.”

Sophie looked a little offended in the camera feed. 

I laughed, “No, I haven’t had any involvement in anything until just now.”

“What have you been doing the past couple of weeks, then?”

I rolled my eyes, “having an existential crisis over what to do with my life. Do I go back to boring normalness or risk following your footsteps and landing in prison with you? Any advice? How’s the food? And the beds?” I said the last half sarcastically, but the first statement was very much true and I tried not to show it. At least, not too much. 

Nate chose not to answer me verbally, but I watched as he twisted around in his chair until he found the camera pointed at him and Sophie and gave it a pointed glare. 

“Hey,” I said flippantly, “you chose this. Don’t kill me for asking.”

Behind me, Parker walked in with a large duffle. 

“He don’t want to do it,” Eliot told her. 

“Aw, but I love jumping down elevators,” she reacted. 

“I know,” Hardison validated. 

“This is my special elevator rig he got me for Christmas,” Parker said as he put down the large bag. 

“Alright, look, Nate, you took the fall for us,” Eliot began. 

“After you lied to us!” Hardison cut in, “He’s a liar.”

“You took the fall for us.” Eliot continued, “You went to jail so we wouldn’t have to. We get that, so we’re square. But now, you’ve got to let us get you out of prison.”

“But if we’re gonna do that…” Parker added. 

“And not all of us are convinced that we should,” Hardison also added which earned an raised eyebrow from me. 

“Then we have to hit you at your next hearing,” Parker finished her thought. “That prison’s escape-proof.”

“Okay, you know what? Fine, Nate,” Hardison said. “We’re still out here, we’re doing the job. We help people nobody else helps. That’s important. You want to stay around and miss out just because you gotta figure out your guilty conscience, that’s your loss.”

Nate began to respond with his nervous ‘I’m explaining’ laugh when Hardison turn

“Guys, no.” Nate said firmly. He then spoke slowly, as if spelling it out for us, “I committed a crime, I got caught, now I’m going to serve my time.”

“Boo,” I said as I took a sip of my drink. “Can’t we live by the spirit of the law, not the letter?”

“And what law would make this okay?” Eliot asked skeptically.

I shrugged, “I don’t know, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?”

“That sounds right,” Parker said, somewhat helpfully. 

“Nate,” Sophie said pointedly. “What kind of world would it be if everyone who committed a silly little crime went to prison, huh? Complete madness!”

Those of us in the office shared a baffled look. While I was being somewhat contrary, it was clear that Sophie actually believed what she said. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. 

“Did you get the kielbasa?” Sophie asked. 

Nate nodded and held up a packaged sausage with a bow on it, “yeah.”

“There’s an earbud inside,” she explained with a dramatic wink that I could see through the fuzzy camera. 

“Now listen to me,” Nate doubled down, “in no way, shape, or form are you going to break me out of this prison. Understood?”ed his screens and programs off, cutting off the call.

“What a burn,” I said to the quiet room. 

Eliot approached me, “Sorry about bringing you over here, that wasn’t how I thought that was gonna go.”

I shrugged, “I’ll admit, it stings a little, but that’s not your fault. You can never tell what Nate’s gonna do. Besides, you didn’t bring me very far and I got a drink out of it.” I raised my drink and Eliot tapped his beer against it. 

“To whatever future you choose,” he said spontaneously. 

“To whatever the future may bring,” I replied. 

I stayed around and chatted for a little while, but eventually retreated to my own apartment. There were enough emotions for today. 

A couple of days later Hardison invited me across the hall to help assemble or create a helicopter-esc gadget. The small talk didn’t last long and we slipped into a comfortable silence, the contraption alternating between us as we fiddled with pieces and screws. 

“Were you serious, the other day?” Hardison finally asked, breaking the silence. 

“About what?” I replied somewhat distractedly as I struggled to thread a screw correctly. 

“About figuring out what you wanted to do now that Nate’s behind bars.”

“Oh.” I paused before answering, “I mean, kinda.” I kept my eyes on the pieces and focused on putting them together even though I could feel Hardison’s eyes on me. “I kind of wondered if him getting arrested was the universe’s way of telling me that this was the end of the line for me and this life. That the opportunity and path had reached a dead end and it was time to go back to where I belonged, with a quote on quote ‘normal’ life.” I could tell Hardison wanted to say something, but I continued before he had the chance. “But, I’ve mostly decided that I’ll stick around for as long as y’all let me, wherever it leaves me.”

“Y’all? Really? I think you’ve been spending too much time with Eliot,” Hardison teased at my unconscious choice of words. 

I finally looked up at him, “Slip of the tongue from when I’ve said it ironically. I don’t know if I ever remember hearing Eliot say it.”

Hardison shrugged, “He’s some sort of southern, I’m sure he says it.” There was a lull between us before he continued, “But regardless, I’m glad you’ve decided to stick around.”

I smiled at him in appreciation when I heard Nate’s voice come out of his computer that was sitting next to us on the counter. 

“Oh, no. Mnh–mnh,��� Hardison replied immediately. “No, we extended our hand of forgiveness, and you slapped it away. Now go away.”

“Please, please, I just want you to check the records of inmate Billy Epping. Fast.”

It sounded like there was someone near him as a distant voice said, “Who are you talking to?!”

Hardison rolled his eyes and started typing on his laptop before pulling something up. “Whoa… Okay, uh, William Epping’s conviction was for transporting liquor across state lines, but his sentence was way longer than anyone’s received for that crime since, like, the Pilgrims, man.”

“That’s suspicious,” I commented. 

“That’s weird,” Hardison continued, “Your warden was consulted on the sentencing.”

“That’s really suspicious,” I amended.

“It’s hinky,” Hardison agreed. 

Nate then turned to who I assumed was Billy and assured him that we would check it out. He then apologized and there were some panicked sounds coming through his comm that wasn’t from Nate. 

“Uh, Hardison, Y/n, why don’t you guys gather the team and get me a background check on the warden.”

“You stabbed me!” The other voice called. 

“Oh, come on, just a little,” Nate minimized. 

“Was that necessary, Nate?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he responded without elaborating. 

“Nate, did you find us a client in prison?” Hardison teased. 

“Yes, we are going to help Billy Epping, and maybe take down a warden at the same time,” Nate said matter-of-factly. 

Billy exasperatedly demanded who Nate was talking to and eventually came to the conclusion that he was going to pass out. 

Hardison turned to me and muted us on the comm network, “What was that about signs of the universe?”

“I’m not sure what this sign is telling me other than that Nate, my uncle and the person who raised me, is insane. Which I already knew and am still figuring out how that reflects on me.”

“Fair.”

We gathered the team and started preparations to do some recon. Hardison did the background check on the warden, Adam Worth, and drew up some credentials for Eliot to go into the prison as a doctor. He would be there to keep Billy safe and give information to Nate. Parker and Sophie (she had told us her real name at this point, but wanted to be petty and not tell Nate, so it was easier to just call her Sophie) were going to be working the courthouse and judge, getting information on Billy and their relationship with Mr. Worth. 

Hardison and I dressed up a bit to meet with Mr. Worth on the pretense of business. 

“How I got started?” Mr. Worth repeated Hardison as he poured us some drinks, “Well, hedge funds, actually. And then a little bit of international finance. But then ten years ago, I hit on this – National prison properties. Get the government out of the justice business.” Everything that came out of his mouth sounded like a political slogan. This man seemed to be born a politician, and from what Hardison found on the background check, it seemed to run in his family. His grandfather, father, and brother were all in pretty powerful political positions, but the Mr. Worth that stood in front of us couldn’t seem to get elected in his campaigns. 

When asked for our names, we introduced ourselves with the best English accents we could muster and maintain for this whole meeting. 

“Brilliant,” Hardison remarked, “Corporate-run prisons, five facilities, thousands of inmates, it’s tremendous.”

“Indeed, it’s a marvel,” I added with a smile despite the fact that my thoughts and feelings on the matter were quite contrary. 

Mr. Worth led us over to his sitting area of his office, Hardison came behind me as he took a step to Mr. Worth’s computer and planted a bug into his system. 

“The U.S. has the fastest growing prison population in the world,” Mr. Worth explained. “Well, it’s like the real estate boom,” he laughed, “except of course, the problem with real estate, you eventually run out of land. You never run out of people to put in prison.”

“Hmm, we haven’t had much success in the private prison concept in England,” Hardison said. “Our investment firm has large real estate holdings for construction of facilities.”

“You see, any yahoo can lay some concrete and throw up some razor wire,” Worth countered. “The profit comes from proper management. For example, the big money for us is in prison labor.”

Hardison pulled out his phone to ensure that his bug was accessing the system, but this had him a bit distracted. 

“Really?” I asked, pulling the attention to me and to keep the conversation going. 

“Yes. Goods and services made by prisoners in America – two billion dollars a year. One out of every five office chairs and desks, made in America, made by convicts. And those jobs are not going to the Chinese,” he laughed and raised his glass in a cheers. 

Around this time Eliot arrived at the prison infirmary and handed over his credentials. Before we left, Eliot was agitated.

“What’s up?” I had asked him.

“We tried to break him out, but now we’ve got to do this job. We shouldn’t just be at his beckon call after he ran a con on us,” he said through slightly gritted teeth. 

“Well, when you see him, don’t rough him up too badly,” I commented, not denying his feelings. I was a bit peeved too, and I knew Eliot wouldn’t do something rash, I said it in a teasing way to try and lighten his mood. 

He looked at me for a hard moment before he sighed, his shoulders dropping, “Fine, I won’t do anything.”

“I never said that,” I corrected, that teasing lilt still in my voice, “You can still scare him a little bit.”

His expression was a bit skeptical, but intrigued. 

“Please? For me?”

His face broke into a smile, “Okay, I think I can do that, sweetheart.”

And he did once he and Nate were alone after he was introduced to Billy and assured he would be safe. 

It sounded like they popped into a dental office to talk and with some rustling and clinking of buckles, it sounded like Eliot was physically strapping Nate in. 

“Restraints,” Eliot said. “They’re in the infirmary manual.” 

Then the sound of a dental drill came through the comms. 

“That’s – uh – for the guards, right?” Nate asked with a bit of a nervous laugh. 

“Do you know what I usually do, Nate, to the people that run a con on their own team?” Eliot asked seriously with a pause. “That almost get people killed, ‘cause they’re out of control?”

“Are we okay, Eliot?” Nate asked, that tone of nervous challenge shifting in his voice. 

I smiled to myself behind my glass. Eliot knew what he was doing when it came to scaring people, even when trying to be subtle. 

As an answer, Eliot turned the drill off and started relaying the information that we knew on Worth. He told him about his family’s political dynasty and his failure to get elected himself which led to him going the business route. 

“Okay, first, we have to figure out how to nail the warden on whatever scam he’s running here,” Nate said. “Second, we’ve got to get Billy out of here in case things go bad.”

“Told ya, this place is escape-proof,” Eliot countered. “Twenty-first century prison, fewer guards, more tech. Infrared cameras, motion sensors, lockdown doors.”

“Okay, does Parker have any ideas?”

“She’s working with… Sophie.”

“What was that?”

“Sophie told us her real name. I’m not allowed to say it in front of you.”

“Seriously?”

“Her and Parker, they’re running the judge.”

At the courthouse, they were able to find a bunch of files of inmates and evidence of a safety deposit box. Hardison and I wrapped things up with Worth to go do some research and discuss what they found. 

It turns out that the judge who sentenced Billy opened up a safety deposit box around the same time that he started sending civilians down for hard time. Four other judges seemed to do the same. 

“I mean, there are hundreds of cases here,” Sophie said once she, Parker, Hardison, and I got back from our respective assignments. “And these are just the ones we found.”

“Records I pulled off of Worth’s computer show that each time an inmate checks in at Rockford, their judge gets an email. Now, it looks coded. I’m thinking, Cayman Islands bank account?” Hardison speculated. 

“Hardison,” Nate said through comms, “private prisons have a contract with the state just like any company that provides a service. Now, do they have to maintain a head count?”

“Yeah, Rockford can’t drop below 70% occupancy. If they do, they lose their state funding. No state money, and they close. They came very close two years ago,” I answered.

“Hmm, so private prisons are like the hotel business. They live and die by occupancy, headcount. Now, Worth wasn’t gonna lose $100 million in profit just ‘cause he didn’t have enough hard-cases to fill the prison, so he puts a few judges on the arm to send him non-violent offenders, easy prisoners to supervise.”

“But why these people?” Parker asked. 

“Because they’re citizens,” Eliot said as he walked in from the neighboring room. “‘Cause they’re honest, middle class citizens. These are the people, they don’t wanna cause any trouble. They can’t afford a lawyer, so if some judge sends them away, well, yes sir. They were taught to trust the courts.”

“They believe in the system,” I added, summing it up. 

“So, Nate, whatcha got?” Sophie asked. 

“Well, Worth makes money sending innocent people to prison.” Nate answered, “I have just the thing.”

To put it simply, Nate did have just the thing for Mr. Worth: make all of his ambitions come true and get him elected United States Senator. 

Sophie got Worth on the hook for the election by posing as the current senator’s campaign coordinator, vying for reelection. Parker posed for pictures that got photoshopped to make it look like the current senator was having an affair. A scandal that could lose him his job. Hardison and I put together a campaign ad for Worth that Sophie also showed him and caught him hook, line, and sinker. 

“Now, I’ve got to give it to you Nate,” Hardison said once Sophie got back. “Nobody can read a mark quite like you.”

“Oh, come on,” Nate replied, “he tried to run twice and failed. That had to have been eating at him. Now find me a way out of this place.”

“Oh, now he wants to get out,” I said sarcastically with the intent to tease, but Nate chose not to comment. 

There was a pause before Eliot started speaking from inside the prison infirmary, “Billy showed me where he found the first dead gang member. Blind spot – no cameras.”

“Nice coincidence,” Nate acknowledged. 

“Yeah, and Hardison checked the incident reports, all of them happened in camera blind spots – places convicts wouldn’t know existed.”

“Guards,” Nate concluded simply. 

“They killed him, accident, whatever. They let Billy here find him, wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Can we use the blind spots?” Nate asked. “I really want a back door out of this place.”

“No, Nate, I can’t access those cameras from here,” Hardison said. “They’re dumb, they run straight to the server.”

“Yeah, and they could have upgraded the motion sensors and the infrareds since these plans,” Parker added. “You’re gonna have to map it out. Old-school.”

Nate and Eliot proceeded to map out the prison, finding every security camera, motion sensor, lock bolt, and heat sensor in the prison. Eliot marked it on his phone and Nate dictated it to us back at the office so we could map it both on a digital blueprint and a physical map taped to our clear erase board. 

Once they had finished the rounds in finding everything Hardison said, “Nate, if you could see this, you would not be encouraged”

“Yeah, I see it,” Nate said a bit distractedly, telling me that he had it mapped out somehow and somewhere and he was looking at our predicament at that very moment. “I hope Sophie has more luck with the warden.”

“Who’s Sophie?” Parker asked.

“You remember, we’re not supposed to use her real name with, uh…” Hardison answered. 

“Right, Nate hasn’t earned it yet.” Parker then started repeating Sophie over and over again in different pitches and tempos as if to remind herself. 

It got to a point where I knew Nate must have been losing his mind and I was getting a bit irritated myself, so I took it upon myself to cut her off, asking her to show me the ranges of the security equipment we just mapped out to see if there were even slivers of blind spots. I already had an idea that there were very few if any, but it distracted Parker from saying Sophie over and over and helped me get a better idea of what we were working with. She happily redirected and started rattling off information at me and pointing at the map with Hardison piping up occasionally about a specific tech thing here or there. 

Eventually Eliot came back and we started analyzing the digital blueprint we made of the security measures, trying to figure out how to get Nate an escape route. 

“Alright, we cut that wire,” Eliot said, pointing at the screen. 

“No, no.” Hardison said, “Look, once a lockdown is called, all these sensors go hot and all those door bolts drop into place.”

“I got it!” Parker said as she sat up from where she was lying down on the table desk. “The furnace room.” She then stood up and walked to the front of the room to face the rest of us who were extremely skeptical. “There’s no sensors because it’s too hot. They crawl straight down along the heating pipes until they reach the sewage system. Ha ha!”

“Now Parker, it’s a hundred and fifty degrees in there,” Nate pointed out through comms. 

She paused before answering happily, “The average human can withstand that for 27 seconds.”

The boys rolled their eyes and turned away from her. 

“Could they make that crawl in 27 seconds Parker?” I asked, trying to point out the problem.

She hummed and hawed for a couple of moments but before she answered, Sophie walked in. 

 “Worth is on the hook,” she said as she joined us in the living room, “But, with $250,000 of ours as a buy in.” She was referring to getting Worth to transfer a quarter million into a ‘campaign fund’ account, it seems he wanted us to match it. 

“Ouch,” Nate commented flippantly. 

“Oh, did I say ours? I meant, what’s left of your life savings. Yeah, we took it out of your account.” 

I winced, but still had an amused smile since Sophie was trying to rub it in, but we had to use Nate’s money to make Worth look even more incriminating. 

“Any luck here?” Sophie asked us, all of us answering in the negative, except for Nate.

“Yeah, yeah, got it,” he answered, convinced he was right. “B corridor, through to the kitchen, into the freezer, into the freezer air exchange, into the machine tunnels, which will lead me to the roof, or the parking lot.”

“You gotta beat the lockdown door to the corridor,” Hardison reminded him. “There’s a thousand pounds of pressure on that bolt.”

“There’s motion sensors in the kitchen,” Eliot said. 

“And infrared in the machine corridor,” Parker added. 

“All to get to the roof or the parking lot where you’ll be trapped and probably brutally gunned down,” Sophie pointed out. “Got a way out of that?”

“I’m working on it,” he replied, not as confidently, but still determined. 

“Okay, you do that, I’m sure we have all the time in the world,” I responded a bit distractedly as I analyzed the blueprint in front of me, not seeing a possible way out, but there had to be one. There had to be. 

Sophie and I were brainstorming with Nate on how to bypass the security measures and get out safely. We eventually got it mostly figured out with Nate taking the route he dictated. For the first door, he would need a wedge to keep it from latching. I proposed a folded up newspaper if he could get his hands on one. Parker said that if Nate could fog up the kitchen enough, he could bypass the motion sensors in the kitchen. If Nate could disguise his heat signature with materials in the freezer, he could get by that obstacle too. As for being trapped afterwards, we needed a distraction on the roof so Nate could get through the parking lot and into Worth’s car. He was the only one who could conceivably leave the prison in a lockdown. 

Eliot, Hardison, and Parker went back to the prison to lay down some ground work and prepare for the escape. Hardison brought some clothes to switch with Worth’s drycleaning for Nate to change into afterwards. He was also going to tip Worth off that Sophie might be crooked. Eliot was there as physical backup and protection. Parker was going to be flying a remote controlled helicopter for the rooftop distraction. 

I stayed behind with Sophie to make sure everything ran smoothly.

What we weren’t expecting was when Hardison was going to tip off Worth about Sophie, he got an urgent call that pulled him away from their meeting. Hardison checked Worth’s computer to find that all of the security cameras had been turned off, faking a system reboot.

“Eliot, get ready. They’re coming for Billy,” Nate said when Hardison told him what was going on. After a few moments of what sounded like Nate making preparations, he said, “Parker, please tell me you’re at Hardison’s new van.”

“Yeah, it’s really nice,” she answered nonchalantly. 

“Did you bring it?” he asked, referring to the remote helicopter. 

“Wait, are we doing that now?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna break out right now.”

I looked at Sophie. This was certainly unexpected, but hopefully we had prepared enough for it to pass. 

“Sophie, y/n, I need you to help guide me through it.”

“We’re on the count,” Sophie immediately replied. 

“Nate, when they call ‘lockdown’ every door in the prison seals tight,” I reminded him. 

“Right, on it,” he answered. 

There were a lot of thumps over the comms telling me that Eliot was keeping the guards at bay. I had to take a deep swallow when I heard him demand a guard look at him before he knocked him out. 

“A little sloppy,” Nate told him when he arrived. 

“New glasses,” Eliot explained. 

Eliot was wearing glasses when I met him, though I didn’t know his name was Eliot or that he was the world’s best retrieval specialist at the time. Whenever his glasses are mentioned, my mind seems to slip back to then. How he brought me champagne, complimented me, listened to me. How warm his hands were when they brushed against mine. How I’ve come to learn that they are always that warm. And how gentle they can be when they held my fingers when he said goodbye with a slight bow. How as he stood back up the lights of the party glinted off his silver frames and made his eyes sparkle.

I had always wondered if they were real, but mostly assumed they were fake. Him using new glasses as a reason for him being sloppy made me think that they actually were prescription. I should ask him about that. 

Nate grabbed Billy and they made a dash to the doors while ‘Lockdown’ got called over the intercom along with an alarm and a countdown. Billy lamented that they weren’t going to make it before the door closed and it sounded like he was right. 

After a moment, I heard a door open and Nate say, “Newspaper folded eight times can hold a ton of weight.”

I smiled to myself as it sounded like he took my suggestion. 

Sophie’s phone began to ring. She looked at it and tossed it to me, “It’s Worth calling the bank, stall him please.

I instantly answered the phone, thickening my voice to have a more pronounced Boston accent along with my customer service voice, “First Boston Independent Bank. How can I help you?”

“This is Adam Worth. I want to close an account. Move money out of it right now,” he said, somewhat out of breath and anxious. 

“And what account is it?”

“$250,000, the Worth campaign fund.”

“I’m sorry, sir, for a transfer that large, we require an in-person request to verify identity.”

He sighed and immediately hung up. 

“Well, that should stall him. He’s heading to the bank now,” I told the group even though I’m sure they heard already. 

Nate and Billy got to the kitchen where they separated, Billy going further into the prison, and Nate starting his route out of it. 

“Nate, the motion sensor,” Sophie reminded him.

“Steam’s filling up now,” he answered. I started gently chewing the tip of my thumb when he told us that he beat the motion sensor.

I sighed and released a bit of tension, but he wasn’t out of the woods yet. I could tell Sophie was feeling the same as I was as she continually told herself to breathe. 

Soon enough he told us that he made it through the maze of security measures and made it to the parking lot where he was home free in Worth’s car, who was on his way to the bank. 

Sophie and I let out a breath of relief. Now all that was left was to send some helpful anonymous tips to the State police, specifically, the newly promoted Detective Captain Bonanno, who was on the mend. 

With Hardison switching Worth’s dry cleaning with some of Nate’s clothes, making them fit better than anything Worth owned for himself, it made Worth look like even more of an accomplice of his escape when Nate exited Worth’s car at the bank. Nate made sure to catch himself clearly on a security camera. Worth took all of the money out of the campaign account, including the $250,000 of Nate’s money, making it look like a bribe. It seemed like the judges that Worth had on his payroll would also be on the receiving end of an investigation since the police found a list of them in Worth’s car. 

Now that that was out of the way, we all had to exit the city. Quickly. Hardison was getting flights and I had most of my essentials gathered so that we could all head to the airport as soon as Nate walked in the door. I had prepared to be a fugitive when we took down the mayor, but now it was actually happening with Nate escaping from prison. I had stepped across the hall to my own apartment to grab a couple more things. Just when I was zipping up my bag, I heard Nate open up his door across the hall. I exited my apartment just as the door closed behind him. 

I crossed the hall and was about to open the door again when there was a very distinctive click of a gun, right behind my ear.

“Don’t move,” a voice said behind me. Based on my experience with Sophie, I should have been able to guess the accent, but I was a bit too preoccupied to really think about it. 

I turned my head slightly to see that there were five men standing behind me. I wasn’t sure where they came from to get behind me so fast, but they were all armed and pointed their firearms at me and the door in front of me.

I did what he said and didn’t move. I knew that the rest of the team was going to be opening the door any second, so I willed myself not to cry. I took a deep swallow, but could feel my eyes start to sting. There was always something when it came to this team, wasn’t there. 

I could hear Hardison through the door mentioning rendezvousing in Paris when the door swung open to reveal the team. He immediately paused and the moment I made eye contact with Eliot, he took a forceful step towards me, ready to fight. Nate stopped him, grabbing his arm, but Eliot still tugged a bit before halting. They both gave me reassuring looks with a fire behind their eyes when a woman walking down Nate’s stairs pulled everyone’s attention to her. The thought crossed my mind wondering how she got up there when there has always been at least one of us in the apartment. These guys seemed to move like ghosts. 

“Buono sera, signor Ford,” she said, definitely Italian. 

Nate stared her down, but his body language seemed relaxed considering there were still several guns pointed at the back of my head and through me to the rest of the team. 

“Why don’t you have your boys here put their guns down and we’ll head downstairs to talk?” He phrased it as a question, but his tone made it sound like there was no room for argument. This was still a bit confusing to me as it seemed she had all of the leverage here, again, since I had several guns right behind me. 

Luckily, she nodded. The men lowered their guns and I quickly walked through the door. The Italian woman gracefully followed Nate as he exited the apartment past me and walked down the stairs, closing the door behind them, keeping her goons in the hallway. I let out a shuttered breath, and Sophie comfortingly stroked my shoulder and arm. My bag slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor with a thump that startled me as I had forgotten I was even holding it.

It seemed to snap the rest of them out of it as well. Eliot stepped up to me, hands gently on both of my arms and looked me over, making sure I was okay. I just nodded at him to say that I was. Hardison and Parker were discussing who they were, why they were here, and where they came from. 

“They came out of nowhere,” I said a bit distantly. “I blinked and they were behind me.”

“Highly trained,” Eliot said. “But you’re okay, you did good. You didn’t lose your head.”

“If you say so,” I let out another deep breath that made me feel a lot better. I walked over to a chair and flopped myself on it. “So, guess we aren’t going to Paris?”

Hardison looked at me, “Probably not anymore.”

“We have to figure out what that woman wants first,” Sophie said, sitting more gracefully in one of the chairs than I did. 

Parker started spitting out theories which Hardison seemed to encourage with a couple of his own. The rest of us just sat in silence, knowing that this was more of a waiting game to see what Nate came back with. 

It didn’t take long before Nate came back into the apartment, a full glass in his hand. We all sat around the table, anxiously waiting for what was in store for us. Nate didn’t leave us waiting as he told us who exactly the Italian wanted us to target. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Sophie exclaimed. “Nobody touches Damien Moreau!”

“Nate, Moreau finances the Sicilians, the Russian mafia, the Colombian cartels,” Hardison rattled off. 

“Yeah, he moves money for the North Koreans,” Eliot added, “stolen artifacts for Iraq, nuclear materials for Iran.”

“Moreau is the big bad,” Hardison emphasized. “He is the central bank for international crime.”

Parker was flipping through the files that the Italian had given to Nate and just barely spoke up, “Nate, these files are CIA, FBI, Mossad, Japanese security.”

I peeked over her shoulder to see that she was correct, these files came from every major government and security agency. I didn’t know who this guy was, but I could tell that we were in a real deep shit from both sides it seemed. Two parties, both very powerful and very connected.

“So… who is this woman?” Sophie asked.

Nate told us that while she confirmed she wasn’t police, she didn’t expand much into who she was. He also added that she gave us a six month timeline. 

“She wants to hire us to go after Moreau? Absolutely not,” Sophie said, the others quickly following with similar sentiments. 

It got to the point where the one sided argument started to get out of control so Nate had to stop them. 

“Guys! Just wait a second. This is not a job.” He then proceeded to tell us that if we did it, we would be free of Nate’s… legal troubles, in so many words. If we failed, on the other hand, Nate would be imprisoned in an absolutely horrible way and the rest of the team would be killed. Nate wouldn’t even repeat what she said they would do to me. 

“She’s blackmailing us?” I asked, both parts in disbelief and resignation.

Nate stuttered, trying to find a way to deny it, but eventually just agreed that yes, she was blackmailing us. 

“Sucks to be on the wrong side of that, finally,” Parker said. 

“You don’t have to say ‘finally’ as if it was inevitable, Parker,” I said with a sigh. 

“Right now, they have the leverage, so what we have to do is we have to get it back,” Nate tried to say reassuringly. 

I could tell I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t quite convinced.

“We can’t go straight at a guy like Moreau,” Eliot said. “They’ll vaporize us.”

“Right, so what we do, is we do like we’ve always done in the past: we do jobs that help people. Only this time, some of them are gonna lead us right to Moreau.”

“Okay,” Hardison said, but he didn’t sound skeptical, it almost sounded like he was on board. “I mean, I do have a pretty big client list waiting for us to check out.” Yup he was on board. Hardison pointed at Parker and she gave a shy smile that said that she was in too. “Oh, we back in business,” Hardison said with a smile. 

Nate nodded and tapped an uneven rhythm on the table to somewhat signal that there was nothing else to discuss. 

We all stood, walking away from the heavy conversation.

I eyed the glass of whiskey that Nate had been holding this whole time, made eye contact with Nate and then Sophie before deciding that I was going to make the choice to not worry about it. It wasn’t my problem. 

“Well, I’m gonna head to bed and dream about the horrible life of servitude and death that I’m going to experience if we don’t pull this off in the next six months. Hope you all sleep better than me, and I will see you in the morning!” I called with faux  cheerfulness as I walked out of Nate’s apartment to cross the hall to my own. I snatched my bag that I had dropped when I was released from the line of fire and dragged it to my apartment where I left it in a similar position, not wanting to deal with it at the moment. 

I really just wanted to sleep. 

A/n: Reblogs and comments are welcome and encouraged! Thank you for reading!

Tags: @instantdinosaurtidalwave @kniselle @technikerin23 @kiwikitty13 @plasticbottleholder @mushycore @who-actually-cares-anymore 

[karatekels]

(Before you get mad because my Master List isn't currently my pinned post, you can find it here)

Well, I was hoping to give you all a more positive, happy update... but now you get a mixed bag.

I found out yesterday that my beautiful, wonderful PhD supervisor got my graduate funding extended for another year, meaning that all the extra work that I've either done or signed up to do this year is just a nice, extra little windfall that means I don't have to worry about money as aggressively as I have been, so that's a win! I cried happy tears for a very long time.

Unfortunately, this week my chronic fatigue which has been slowly going away over the past year has decided to start coming back.

I've touched on my chronic fatigue and pain a bit here before, but the gist of it is we don't really know what's causing either or how to treat either. At least I'm in Canada, so I haven't had any medical debt relating to this, but on the downside our medical systems are so backlogged I haven't been able to delve into very many tests to really get to the bottom of it. I won't rant about the pain because I've been dealing with it for most of my life and, as shitty as it is, I can usually still coexist with it, but the fatigue...

OH, THE FUCKING FATIGUE.

For me, my fatigue isn't wanting to sleep in longer in the morning or something I can chase away with coffee, or something I can just yawn through as I go about my day - it's an infuriating and debilitating clusterfuck. It usually means I don't sleep well during the night, and I will randomly be unable to function for hours at a time. I can't really think properly, my limbs will go numb, and I usually just slug out on the couch until it passes. No amount of sleep will make the sleepiness go away, and when it comes on, there's nothing I can do (it's a good thing that I don't drive, because if it came on while I was behind the wheel I would pretty much have to immediately pull over, lock the doors and pass out).

The good news (as I'm trying to see it, anyway) is that between my body being largely useless and my finances no longer being as much of an issue as anticipated, I can - and have to be - a bit gentler with myself, meaning I'll probably be at home more than I already am, and looking for a way to escape.

aka "MORE DAYDREAMING AND SUBSEQUENT WRITING!"

I can't promise I'll be churning things out the way I was last summer (jeez, remember last summer? what the hell was I thinking...) but I can pretty much guarantee I'll be writing a lot more than I have been so far this year, and I hope you're looking forward to that possibility as much as I am!

Basically, I just wanted to check in to thank you all for your patience, explain my lack of writing this year, and encourage those of you who are healthy to really appreciate it. I turn 30 in less than two months, and so much of my life (and pretty much my entire adult life) has been impacted by these unpredictable, unfixable problems and it really sucks. So, if you can do a cartwheel, a wheelkick or some kind of jump for joy, please do it for yourselves, and know that I'd join you if I could!

Thanks for reading, and we'll be back to your regularly scheduled smut soon, ya filthy animals!

- KarateKels

---

Tl;dr: Good and bad things are happening but hopefully both mean you'll be getting more writing from me?

[sibyl-of-space]

aw man, I'm a little upset about something stupid that is entirely my fault. Live and learn.

I have now really and truly learned why you do not ever under any circumstances announce a release date early. You do not announce it until the game is actually ready or your to-do list to get it there consists of like 3 things you can happily release without.

I set a tentative release date to motivate myself, and it DID motivate me, but unfortunately real life is a thing that is complicated and it means that I didn't meet my tentative date at all. And if I'd never TOLD anyone that tentative date, it wouldn't matter, but I did - like a big idiot - and I think it's why I just saw the most wishlist deletions in a month I've ever seen.

I said I would release the game in October, and then I said I would release a demo update in October, and then it turns out October was a month from hell and I didn't do shit. That's fine. Shit happens. It wouldn't have any negative impact if I hadn't announced beforehand that I was totally releasing things in October, and then not releasing them.

Anyway - it's really not even a huge number, and overall the net outstanding wishlists are still the highest it's ever been; it just feels a little bit like I've definitely done something wrong to disappoint this many people all at once. A handful of deletions here and there is expected but this is a lot all at once and it is slightly disheartening.

On the other hand, when I back up and think about it, I know that the people who are REALLY my audience who are REALLY excited about the game aren't the people who would un-wishlist just because it's coming a bit later than hoped. And I know that one the new demo comes out it's going to feel so much better than what's currently there and that will be a huge victory for me. But I'm just feeling a little like I've let some people down.

(I also didn't realize that I'd set the actual game release to November - hah! wow! that was optimistic - and had to actually contact Valve to push the date back because I didn't realize it was that close. I may have accidentally gotten like a fake visibility boost from that and feel a bit bad about it, but, oh well. Whatever. Worse market manipulations have been committed in the history of the planet.)

ON THE OTHER HAND... someone found my ToS glitch hunting post and somehow clicked through to the Amadeus blog from that and followed it, which clearly means the best connections are made by just yoloing it. :^)

[dokidokiliteraturegirls]

Progress Update: September 2024

Hello everyone! Yui Wrong here, to give you an update regarding the progress that's been made towards bringing Feel Less back from hiatus 💖

So! Soon it'll be 2 months since Feel Less went on hiatus. And on the one hand that kinda pisses me off bc I really really like publishing this webcomic and not doing it feels like I'm missing something important from my life 😭 on the other hand, I'm satisfied with the progress that's been made! Development of updates #37 and #38 has been steady, so I don't feel like I've wasted time. However, although I've been consistently making progress towards Feel Less's return, I feel like there's been some radio silence here in the blog, so I wanted to give you all an update about how things have been going ^^

For starters, lemme start with what I've been doing. Before doing any illustrations for the new updates, I decided to take a small break to practice my art style, as I was really unsatisfied with how my drawings were coming out. I focused on head shapes, as those felt inconsistent in my art. Here's a couple doodles I did in August for practice

I want to keep practicing, but I decided figuring out a consistent head shape was enough for now and got to work on the updates. And I'm glad I did! I do believe there's been some noticeable improvement in some pieces~ Like for example, take this old MG illustration compared to a WIP for update #38

I like both, but I'm especially happy with the 2nd one~

After practicing for a couple of weeks I went straight into planning out the next updates and got to work on the artwork. And the result was that... 29 illustrations in total would be needed for updates #37 and #38!!

That's. Too many. So while drawing I've also been cutting the plan down and deleting some superfluous panels. After trimming the excess, I ended up with a much more realistic... 27 panels!! There, now that's doable 🥰

I jest of course, but my point is that a lot of work needs to be done and I've been consistently going at it for the past 2 months. As of now, 9 of the illustrations have been fully completed. I also have 2 WIPS I'm currently working on, so that number will go up soon.

Does this mean it'll take 4 more months to get this done? Of course not! ...hopefully. Listen, I make no promises, but I'll try not to take too long. I value your time and am really grateful for your patience. Besides, I don't want people getting bored because I took too long to return from a cliffhanger. I'm not Andrew Hussie. My full time job and real life chores usually mean that I only have about an hour a day to work on art, but I have a couple plans to make production faster, such as cutting down some more planned panels and buying a keyboard that doesn't make noise. Why would a keyboard's noise be relevant? Well, it's not. I mean, I guess if I had that, I'd be able to draw while taking calls from work without my bosses noticing, as it wouldnt be picked my the microphone, and that'd give me an extra 10 hours a day to draw. But I won't do that, because that'd be irresponsible and unprofessional. So therefore, the keyboard is irrelevant. Forget I mentioned it.

Also, a point I imagine some people might be wondering: Why make it so long anyway? There's no one forcing me to have complicated scenes or almost 30 illustrations. It's my webcomic, I can do whatever I want. And taking a long break where I'm not even on break might sound like a dumb idea. However, for me, Feel Less is not just a webcomic I publish on my free time. I'd like it to be a showcase of the very best I can do at the point in time when an update is posted. From that perspective, it'd be dumb not to put effort into it. To compromise the quality of my works for the sake of following a schedule has never been something I've been a fan of. Now, I do want to be realistic, but also I don't want to feel like I'm giving up and just putting out whatever I can finish by my imaginary deadline. It's a delicate balance, but for these two updates in specific, I think quality should take precedence for a bit. My goal is for you guys to read them and go "oh, no wonder it took a while". At least for those 2, then we can go back to schedule.

Overall, my point is: progress is being made! It's currently all being done behind closed doors, so it might not be noticeable for you guys. But I promise, I haven't been twiddling my thumbs for these past 2 months! Maybe I should've, because my hands are quite cramped tbh. But no matter, art must be made! In the meantime, I'll leave you with a couple panels I've finished so you guys can see some of the work that's been done~

I'll continue updating you guys as time goes on~ If you want consistent updates, I've been dropping the number of finished panels on the discord server every time I'm done with one! Also, if you'd like to help me get to the point where I can work only 5 hours a day and put more time into the comic, you can support me on Patreon and get some goodies and custom drawings while you're there ^^

Thank you all once again for your patience, I'll keep working hard for you all 💖

[dystopicjumpsuit]

A quick update/proof of life

Hi friends! I've been pretty absent lately, and I apologize for worrying people. I've not been on Tumblr much for the past month or so, and I've missed a lot of comments and reblogs, and I apologize for that; it wasn't a conscious choice, and I'm so sorry if I made you feel ignored.

I'm cautiously optimistic that things are starting to improve on the mental health front, and I wanted to let you know that I'll be working through my notifications and queuing replies over the next few days.

I also have several friends who have posted chapters and fics that I haven't been able to read yet, but I'm very excited to start on them, particularly the new multi-chapter and longfics from arcsimper5, Alli, and Carol! I'm absolutely vibrating over these!

I'm sorry, I don't have an estimate on when new chapters or fics will be dropping yet. I've been struggling with writer's block for several weeks, and the few things I've been able to write have been... uh... probably not what people are expecting from me. I've actually considered setting up a separate blog for Dark!DJ fics, but I'm not sure there's much interest, so they might just live in my docs until I can figure out what to do with them.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and give an update and thank you all for sticking with me. I appreciate you all so much, and you mean more to me than I can say.

Biggest hugs 💜💜💜

[zonerz]

Answers fic Update + Hi im not dead 💖!

Okay more semi-official post because I've been meaning to do this since July but life has been ping-ponging me all around!

Short-Answer (ha):

No, the fic isn't abandoned, I wouldn't dream of leaving it unfinished especially with the point I'm finally at! I have been stuck injured 😭👍

Long-Answer + Explanation:

They aren't playing about that a03 author's curse bro 😭😭😭 I intended to have 43 out by April at the latest, then that became May and eventually June because of my job. Then of course, that goal got pushed further out from personal circumstances that are just now getting sorted. But, most frustratingly and poignantly, I injured my wrist at the start of July. Good news is I have some therapy scheduled for it finally! Bad news is that it took THIS LONG to get into it, and in the meantime I can't physically write or draw for hardly a few minutes at a time and it's reached a point especially in the last month or so where even using a computer mouse or typing exacerbates it. If I had infinite time, that'd be less of a problem, but I've also restarted college so my time, effort, and focus has to be put there first and foremost in the meantime. It's frustrating to not be able to do the things I enjoy in the free time I have, but for now it is what it is.

The Plan + Ideal: I'm down but certainly not out! I'm going to be diligent to get myself back to normal and doing what I love! I have TONS of ideas for both fics and art I wanna do and am clawing at the bars of my cage to start LMAO

Ideally though, I would like to have something ready by the holidays. Maybe even a few chapters on a backlog or something. Regardless though, when that day comes I also have some other fics I was poking at and cleaning up prior to my injury worsening and I think it'd be fun to upload some stuff in bulk! :] I've neglected a few other works for the sake of Answers (pouring one out for WYLTD last updated September 2018 LMAO) and I think it'd be a fun way to do things and also move into the new year!

But I'm rambling at this point! If anyone's read this far TYSM I APPRECIATE IT! 🫶 it hurt my hands to write this much which, knowing my typical word count, says something 😭💔 But I feel good and capable! It's just a temporary set-back and I appreciate the consistent engagement and kind words over all the time I've spent working on this fic thus far! I hope that you don't mind the wait too awfully, but know that it WILL be finished--I'm far too passionate about this story and these characters to simply leave it hanging. I don't like to half-ass anything I do :]

Anyways funny conclusion uhhhh <3 !

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

just an update?

Hello my maggots, Asmi here. I'm really sorry that I haven't replied to a lot of the stuff I've been tagged in/reblogs/DMs, it has been a... chaotic two days. I promise I'll get to them soon, as soon as my mind calms down a bit (to its ordinary level of chaos, I mean).

In an update on the 10khaos, for those who haven't heard, my hair is indeed now Crowley red, the Discord server is made (and currently broiling in utter madness, the Youtube channel has also been made and I have an idea for the first video, and I will soon set forth and adopt the Crowley, Aziraphale and Adam plants.

So as for the irl mind stuff, it's basically that the red hair brought up the question of whether or not I'd be able to go through with college, design school starts in May-ish.

(um mild tw for bullying and a mention of transphobia, skip the next two paragraphs if that is a trigger for you)

I've been in college before, that was design too, for three months. And I had to drop out because I was being isolated and bullied by everyone there including the dean, as well as a lot of transphobia and discrimination on the basis of mental health issues.

Soooo... yeah. There's also the fact that the new college will be far more conservative and I live in India and it's all really a shit of a mess. So my mum asked me to think about whether I wanted to do distance learning instead, since I already am a designer and have done projects.

It's a lot to think about. And my head is being all messy, ya know how it is. If any of you have advice or experience with distance learning, that would be amazing, actually.

(Also my family were kind of really mean about my Crowley hair)

(Oh well)

(I love it and I have you amazing maggots so)

Anyway yes I just wanted to say what was going on so that you know why if I don't respond immediately to things going on :") And if you want to interact with the other maggots, the Discord server is always there, links get messed up on posts but I'm sure @arkytiorlecter or @howmanyholesinswisscheese will send you the invite link if you need it. It's in one of my posts, but things do tend to get lost on my blog, don't they?

No matter what I want you all to know that you are so, so loved, you are more than enough just by existing and being your beautiful selves, and you have made my life immeasurably better. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I love you I love you I love you maggots. I promise I'll go through the notes soon and cause chaos :") So beware. It just might take a day or two for me to get back to my usual frequency of chronical onlineness (which is my happy place muehuehue).

Have a wonderful day, and remember to eat and sleep and hydrate and take meds if you need to.

All my maggoty princely love for you, Asmi

[eliotlime]

End of September Update

Just as a heads up, I'll be closing my commissions after the first week of October (06/10/2024) just so I can focus on other projects! If you'd like to order a bug from me or get any of my other regular commissions now's a good time to do so!

(Bugstyle | Regular Comms)

I made a really brief post on twitter about what I'm up to but since tumblr supports more text I'll just go into more depth on what projects I'm working on at the moment and general life updates!

I used to write blog posts on wordpress for school and it's just hilarious that I stopped doing that considering it feels like I was born to blog!

In general, I've been trying to crawl out of this very odd mood swing-y state I've been in for the past year. I've been semi-public about it but I graduated with a degree in animation same time last year and have sort of been recovering from the absolute burn out of that as well as watching the animation industry essentially collapse just as I left college.

I'm hoping to get into UI/UX design this coming October and try to piece what little control I have of my life back together. I don't really know what I'm doing to be honest and it feels like I'm just pawing in the dark with a lot of this stuff.

In lighter news I've been trying to get into something I've always wanted to for years which is comics! I'm not sure how much I can speak about it at the moment but I just got into an anthology which is very exciting.

I applied to shortbox last year but didn't get in :( but fingers crossed I'll get in next year! On a related note I've made a Cara profile which I'm using as a comics portfolio and archive.

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Those of you who've been following me for years know that I've had a webcomic project called, Happenstance (which I've restarted endlessly for about 10 years at this point). While I don't really have a concrete update of that for you guys I will say that the story is more or less fixed and whatever version of it I have now is most likely the version I'll proceed with in the future.

I did try to get the ball rolling with this at the start of the year with a pilot comic but it made me so miserable to work on it I abandoned it and started making an unrelated zine instead haha

I do have plans on finishing this eventually and it'll be up on my itch.io and gumroad like everything else!

Speaking of the zine, I'd just like to thank everyone who purchased Cute Thing! I think for my first independent book project it did pretty well! It was incredibly embarrassing and nerve wrecking to promote it but I'm glad I did it.

I don't know why there's an 18+ warning on this considering this zine is pretty tame.

I guess it also helped that that stupid ass diary comic i made blew up at the same time so I got to shill my wares in relation to it. Even though I think it gave me some kind of psychological damage but every time i gain minor internet fame i shrink back into my shell anyway, this is just the first time i really felt so much.. vitriol from randos lol.

It's just hilarious it overlapped with whatever guilty gear obsession I had at the time as well. Thank you to everyone who stuck around and uh.. sorry! I walk wherever the wind takes me and it's frequently towards my own characters.

But! Speaking of Guilty Gear, I am working on an Abacelsus zine I briefly talked about on twitter a couple months back. The title is sort of pending at the moment and while I did say it might be free as a digital download, I'm probably going to charge a couple of dollars because of how much effort I'm putting into this.

On the plus side that means I'll probably be putting more effort into it! I'm aiming for 24 interior pages of stuff and hoping to release a digital version of it by Halloween 2024!

I'm trying to work on more prints and stickers for conventions as well and I never posted about my convention escapades here all too much but you can check out this instagram post for what I had up the last time I boothed!

That's kind of all for the stuff I'd like to get done within this year but other projects that I'd like to aim to get done by 2025 is a continuation of my Cute Thing zine that I'm aiming to collate by Valentines Day, hehe how romantic.

There's nothing terribly concrete for that at the moment but I do know I want it to have more pages than Cute Thing. It's called My Boy and yes it's named after another Car Seat Headrest song.

I've got a lot of irons in the fire and another iron is that I'm also planning a 4-panel comic series for my band characters that I've posted some pilots about before!

Pretty messy planning but most of my long form stuff looks like this.

A 4-panel comic series is just less intimidating than a fully coloured webcomic series (Happenstance) that I know will be finished decades later. I've also seen a lot of webcomic artists I've beloved just.. abandon their years long project and it's kind of scary to me that will definitely happen to me!!!

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The long and short of it is that I've got a lot of projects and a majority of it is not making me any money. I'm extremely lucky to be surrounded by people that support my work but it gets hard to just do all of this by yourself with no guarantee that it'll go anywhere.

Patreon's a beast I've tried to tackle but it's kind of an ass of a website to use so I'll probably try to use ko-fi a bit more. I've kind of never really liked the subscription model and really do prefer to launch curated PDFs of my work every few months, but again I'm really just clawing at the dark and grasping at anything I can.

Let's wrap up this long post by mentioning that I might want to give streaming a shot! I used to stream a little when I was a teenager but I'd like to give it another go!

I don't think I'm going to have a dedicated persona or vtuber avatar but a small little png-tuber would be frankly hilarious. Maybe something casual to start of with, it gets pretty lonely spending everyday working on images alone.

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Thank you for reading! It's an extremely long post to all but say that I'm scared but working on projects still! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and while I'm working on getting more stuff on there here's my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

As I mentioned before I'm closing my commissions on the 6th of October to work on my Abacelsus zine so if you'd like to get a bug or any of my regular style commissions now's a good time to do so!

(Bugstyle | Regular Comms)

I'm hoping to make more update posts like these in the future and not psyche myself out every time because they're really good for me to collect my incredibly jumbled thoughts. Thanks again to everyone who's followed, supported or even just looked at my stuff it really means the world.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me about my characters, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be shot towards me email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)